#4) I have just been generally emotionally unstable the past couple days and that is probably (definitely) playing a part in this

[six-improbable-things]

*running in circles, bouncing off the walls*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am having many Emotions.

[fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry]

Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 08

Warning: ANGST. With capital letters. So much trauma, anger, crying and death you guys. It was so hard for me to write, it was emotionally challenging, so it might do the same to some of you by reading it. There's also swearing in it.

Beetlejuice floated right through the wall between Rei's and Ari's room. He stretched his back with closed eyes and a huge smile, his bones cracking like dry branches in the wind.

- Oh babes you couldn't possibly imagine how happy I am right now! I heard a genuine scream coming my way! Ah man I haven't heard any of those in a decade, it sounded so... - Beetlejuice opened his eyes. The room was almost empty, only Sirius was inside. Couple of sewing patters were scattered on the floor, next to the already cut-out parts of a cornflower blue dress. BJ blinked at Ari's laptop; the podcast she was listening to has been stopped. - ...kinky. - he finished his sentence in a lowered voice.

He suddenly turned his head to the open window as he realized that a muffled voice came from outside. Sirius scuffled for a bit when he heard the noise and growled when Beetlejuice moved past him. The demon climbed out to the roof, following the noises. Ari was sitting at the farthest end, wrapped in an oversized dark green knitted cardigan. Beetlejuice almost called out to her, scolding her for disappearing when he had such great news but he stopped himself when he realized what the voices were. Ari was crying.

- Babes? - asked Beetlejuice, as he lowered his raspy voice. - What's going on? - Ari quickly turned to the demon's voice's direction. She had a used tissue in her hand. She quickly tried to cover her face with her hair but Beetlejuice saw what she was hiding. Her emerald eyes were all puffy and red, her nose was swollen and full-blooded too, and her lips looked like she didn't drink any water in a week. Her voice was cracking a bit as she started talking.

- Oh, it's nothing, Bug, just... - she beckoned with her hand. Beetlejuice heard as she tried to pull herself together. She let out a huge breath. - ...it's just my mental health issues. They're acting up again. - Beetlejuice stepped next to her as she cleared her throat. - Just gimme a sec, I'll be alright and you can tell me what you have done to my poor sister.

- Nonono, there's something wrong here. - he sat down next to Ari. Her legs were pulled close to her chest as she has enclasped them. She put her chin on her knees, showing as little of her face as she could. - You had a bad day last week when your anxiety was thriving. This is not like that. - Ari smiled lightly. Her wet eyelashes juddered, which made them glisten in the beams of moonlight.

- You really got to know me in the past couple weeks, didn't you?

- Yeah, that... and you also made me sit through 13 episodes of Therapy, which is an awful series by the way, so I'm basically a mind-scientist now. - Ari snorted while she let out a small, sad laugh. - So tell Doctor B, what's going on here, patient number one? - Ari let go of her knees and huffed out. She let her legs dangle off of the roof. She didn't look at Beetlejuice's direction, she just watched the darkness pass by under her feet.

- I... I got to know why do I hear you.

Beetlejuice scrowled and shook his head.

- I'm not following, please explain why does that makes you sad? I thought you wanted to know... - he stopped as Ari rubbed her temples and sighed. She kept her eyes closed while she was talking.

- B., of course I wanted to know! I wanna help, don't think otherwise, it's just... - she clenched her jaw, swallowed her saliva then continued. - The memories. They make me so goddamn angry and sad at the same time.

- I don't get it. - Beetlejuice sounded clueless. He didn't really know what she was talking about. As Ari clicked with her tongue, Beetlejuice moved closer to her and leaned even closer to her ear. His voice was as raspy as always, but he sounded much more sweet and kind. Almost gentle. - Maybe... Talking will help. I don't know, Dr. Phil says it does a lot. - Ari opened her eyes and breathed out. Her breath was jerky.

- The podcast I was listening to, you know, the one about the extraspecial demons, well... - Beetlejuice looked down at Ari's hands. She was sinking her nails into her fingertips. She must have been doing this for at least an hour, since some already left dark purple marks on her fingerpads. Beetlejuice put his hand over Ari's. The cold air made the girl shiver a bit but it also made her stop. - The show started with the hosts talking about how they invited a parapsychologist into the show so he could tell the audience interesting things about demons generally before they start to talk about the different types. So the guy said really interesting stuff, hands down, it really was good, but then he said that after a certain type of trauma, some people develop a weird... "ability". - she used her hands to emphasize the word then let them fall onto her lap again. She sighed. - Do you want to hear the long story of why do I hear you, or the short version? - Beetlejuice flinched his eyes.

- I prefer long and thick things so give it to me, baby. - Ari didn't react to his joke. She'd didn't even smile. She looked like she was was collecting her strength. After a couple minutes of silence, she finally started to speak.

- Bug, have you ever seen how my abdomen looks?

That was a sudden question.

- No? - he said in a kind of shy voice. He didn't wanna upset her more. She seemed just as miserable as furious. - You said no croptops until it's at least 30 °C... Why? - Ari breathed in and layed a bit back. She started to roll her olive t-shirt up on her belly.

Beetlejuice gasped and held his palm before his mouth. The tips of his hair started to turn into red and purple at the same time.

- Who... Who did that to you?!? - Beetlejuice held his hand above the three scars that Ari had on her abdomen. They were shapeless, with rigged edges and at least 5 centimeters long each.

- They've been with me since I was 17. - she sniffled a bit as she let her shirt down. She pulled one of her knees close to her chest again, and put her elbow up on it. - Don't worry, I already got used to them. I don't love them, but they're stuck with me so... - she sighed and look at Beetlejuice's direction. - You sure you wanna hear this story? I might cry. I might get furious and start screaming. You wouldn't like either.

- It's true that nothing is sexier than laughing and screaming of terror, but I'd surely get hard, seeing you deranged with anger. - Ari snorted at the demon's arousing voice. He actually just tried to cover up the fact that all he wanted was to kill whoever did that, and then hug the girl tight.

- Get ready for a love story that is basically horror at best... The kind where the hero still... Gets broken in the end. - she sighed and looked up at the stars. - This fucked up story starts half a year before I got my scars. I started dating a guy named... - she gulped and closed her eyes. - Matthias. - she opened her eyes with a sigh. - Gods, I hate to say his name out loud. It makes me wanna gag. It was a teenage love, I didn't see or didn't want to see his faults and I totally fell head over feet for him. You know what I'm talking about, right?

- Totally. - he had no clue.

- So you know, it was fun in the beginning. He was older than me, so nice and funny. He escorted me basically everywhere, and it just felt so good to be with him. - she sighed. - I thought that he was just worried when he told me I shouldn't go to a party with my friends cause "the world is filled with creeps", but later I realized that he was just simply possessive. - she sighed, sounding annoyed, and looked straight into the darkness of the night. - I started feeling anxious because of him when he started to tell me where could I go and what could I wear. "That's too showing, you can show that much skin only to me!" - she said in a mimicking voice. Then her face turned so dark so quickly. - He told me that if I wasn't acting nice, or behave, or do exactly as he says, that would make him look bad before his friends and a good girlfriend wouldn't want that. Shit, man, we've been together for 4 months only but I was so unstable because of him and massive bullying in school that I turned out to be an anxious wreck. - she clicked her tongue, got up and started to walk up and down, her bare feet tapping on the roof. - We went out one day, and during our "date" he repeatedly told me how I was not smart enough, pretty enough, ENOUGH, and he was with me just because no one else would want me. After he dropped me off at home, I started crying my heart out to my mom. - her eyes got teary again, but there was so much anger in her voice. - Gods she's such a wonderful woman. She taught me how to be brave, how to be strong enough to be myself. And at that moment she made me realize how I'm starting to lose my badass, weird but awesome self because of this stupid cabrón! - she kicked the air. Her breathing was so fast, and her body was radiating so much heat it could almost warm Beetlejuice up. She breathed out with a sigh. - Shit, I must look like a crazy person. Excuse me. I sometimes use spanish words when I'm experiencing a strong feeling. Multilingual things. Cabrón means...

- Pendejo, fucker, asshole, I know. - that sudden cut-in brought Ari down back to earth quickly. She knitted her eyebrows. - I had an argentinian girlfriend who taught me a bit spanish. I can cuss just perfectly. - he tried to sound calm. He really did. But oh boy he was not. The way the emotions changed on Ari's face made him remember some of his past traumas, and that made him feel a lot of different things at the same time. And he was also furious at this asshole of an ex.

Ari sat down again. She breathed out to calm herself down. After a minute of frozen silence, the demon started to talk.

- This whole thing is fucked up, you know. The whole being told what to do and where to go and how to look... - said Beetlejuice in a low manner. His raspy voice sounded... sad? He cleared his throat, even though, being dead, he didn't have to, it just felt good. - I'll totally regret this, but since we're doing this overly honest heartfelt shit that I normally hate, and I'm very much irritated by it, let me tell ya... - he looked at Ari as his hair turned more purple. - I can relate to you. My mother did the same shit to me. She made me feel worthless, a piece of shit that didn't deserve any love. - he sighed and looked up at the moon. He chuckled a bit, his voice went back from soft to normal quickly. - Dear God slash Satan, your emotional bullshit is contagious, Ari. I gotta stop hanging out with you.

Ari smiled lightly.

- You couldn't. You love chilling with me. - the demon scretched his stubbles and let out a tiny laugh.

- True. I'm hooked on that fine ass of yours. - Ari laughed a bit. She looked where Beetlejuice's voice came from previously, and held out her hands.

- You know, I wouldn't really feel it, it won't exactly be a real hug, but if you want to... - Beetlejuice didn't let this opportunity go, he basically jumped into Ari's embrace instantly. He almost fell over her body, and he couldn't really wrap his hands around her, but being this close felt so good. Ari's body radiated so much heat and hearing her heart pitter-patter inside her chest made him forget how she didn't even see him. They both smiled. - Thanks for telling me a bit about your origin story. I know it's hard to talk about these kind of shits.

Beetlejuice let Ari go and sit back a bit, still staying close to the girl. She let her hands down.

- I'm only this honest with you cause you told shit to me too. - the demon lowered his raspy voice. - But if you tell anyone about my problems, even though we are bffffs forever, I'll skewer you like a pig. Understood? - Ari swallowed and blinked nervously while nodding. Beetlejuice continued like he didn't say anything threatening. - Anyway, I still don't know why do you hear me. Are we getting there soon? - Ari nodded again and rubbed her cheek.

- Yeah, sure, buckle up for the worse part of the ride, buddy. - she cleared her throat. - When the next day I went over to his place to break up with him and to tell him that I belong to no one, and he doesn't have the right to tell me what to do, he hit me. He slapped me so hard that my cheek ripped up a bit. - she pulled her hair back a bit, revealing a tiny scar on her left cheekbone. - The next day he called me, told me that he's sorry and he didn't want to hurt me. I hang up on him quickly and got a new number the same day. I wanted him gone. But it didn't take him much time to get my new number. He called me a thousand times. But since I didn't answer, he started to follow me. Watching from the street while I was at school. Creeping around the studio I sang at. - she sniffled as her eyes started to get teary, but she quickly wiped them with the sleeve of her cardigan - You know, I called the cops. I told them everything. And they told me they couldn't do anything until he hurts me. - she chuckled in an annoyed way. She fuckin chuckled. - They didn't have to wait for that for so long.

- WHAT?! - shouted Beetlejuice which made Ari jump a bit. He jumped up in anger, the tips of his hair shining in bright red. - THOSE GUYS SHOULD TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE, NOT TELL THEM TO "GET FUCKIN HURT THEN WE'LL TALK"?!? - he squatted down next to Ari. - Let me guess, that son of a bitch ex of yours caused those fuckin scars?!?

-...yes... - said Ari with bated breath. Beetlejuice scraffed his fluffy hair and unshaven face. - I was walking home late from a rehearsal, mom was at work, and when I was already at our street, he stepped up to me out of nowhere, started to tell me how he's gonna change and after I pushed him, and told him to leave me alone since I fuckin hate him and I don't belong to him... He said that if I don't wanna belong to him, then I'll belong to no-one. And he... - tears started running down her cheeks. - Stabbed me. Again. And again.

- THIS... MOTHER FUCKER... - he bit his fist and started to babble. - I mean yeah sure I kinda get it I'm a bit possessive too, also creepy, but I'm pretty sure he could get an another hot goth chick and...

- HE KILLED ME, MAN! - screamed Ari into the abyss. Beetlejuice froze in his movement.

- W...What? - Ari sat still, hands covering her mouth. Beetlejuice squatted down next to her again. - Babes did I hear that right? - she shut her eyes and sighed. She let her hands go and stared down from the roof.

- Yes. - she said. Her voice was so weak. - A neighbor saw what happened and called the ambulance. I got rushed into hospital and... I went under surgery. They had to remove a part of my intestines asap... They got damaged from the stabs... And while I was knocked out... My heart decided to give up on me. And I died.

Beetlejuice sat down at the brim of the roof. He was shocked.

- I... suppose that's why you have a fixation with death? - he asked calmly. Ari shrugged and lifted her hands up.

- Partly... Other than the fact I was born on Halloween so it's basically in my blood... I think what really caused my obsession is that I remember every goddamn second of being dead. I remember seeing my body, covered in blood, and as I realized what was going on, I started panicking about how much more I wanted to do and how young I was to die. - she sighed with a light, not so real smile. She sounded so damaged. The demon could hear the pain in her voice. - 🎶And so, being young and dipt in folly, I fell in love with melancholy.🎶 - she looked at Beetlejuice's direction after she wiped her tears off with a tissue. - I was dead for 4 minutes before they brought me back. More or less. Looks like that's why I hear you. Many folks who die and come back develop this... "ability" to see or hear creatures from other dimensions. My special power is to hear demons, as it turns out. - she looked at the demon's direction. - Good for you I winded up in this house.

- I'm so happy about that. I couldn't ask for a better breather partner in crime in my dreams. - Ari heard in his voice that he was smiling. Oh if she could see his lightpink hairtips too... - What happened after? - asked Beetlejuice. Ari lifted her eyebrows a bit. - I mean, I hope the fucker got what he deserved and someone killed him. - Ari bit his lips in frustration, and sighed.

- Not exactly... At least he didn't got what I think he would have deserved. - she stretched out her legs. - While I was in the hospital for 8 months, on full-time mental and physical therapy by the way, I filed a report against him and got him arrested. I was so relieved... Then I heard he only got 3 years. - she fumbled through her hair. - Seriously, he fuckin put someone in intensive care for months and all he got was a couple of years then adiós, go on your fuckin way my man?! - she let out an angry growl. - Just because, and I quote, "he was young and could have a bright future", yes, that's what the jury said... - she huffed. - But the good thing is, right after he got out, he violated the restraining order that I got against him. He came to the house that Sofi, Rei, my mom and I lived in. You know, they moved in with us after I got out of the hospital because... For the first 5 or six months, I was afraid to go out without company. So my sisters helped a lot. They even kind of made me forget how my friends left me, because "I was acting overdramatic and why couldn't I just forget and be happy". - Beetlejuice raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

- The fuck is wrong with people... - Ari let out an annoyed chuckle.

- Oh my man, most of them are awful fellas. After this, I didn't even care that I missed my prom. - she swallowed her saliva and leaned back so she could gaze the stars. - So yeah, back to the subject, that pendejo came to our house in the middle of the night and demanded my mom to take him to me cause he wanted to say sorry because he missed me so much and wanted us to start a new chapter. - Ari rubbed her temples. - The police acted quickly this time and put him into jail for 3 more years. - she sighed. - Not that I think that's enough... But it was enough for us to find a new home and move away from him, as far as we could.

Beetlejuice waddled closer to her, and layed down as well.

- You know what's the weirdest thing about you, scarecrow? - Ari chuckled.

- Besides the fact that my best buddy is a demon? - BJ laughed a bit too. - No idea, Bug.

- That you're so full of life, and so goddamn annoyingly positive. If you wouldn't tell me, I wouldn't know you had so much shit to deal with. - Ari put her hands up in the air while shrugging.

- Look, I already know how does it feel to die. By the time I turned 19, I decided I'd try how does it feel to be alive. And when I'm not a mess, oh boy, it's so much fun! - Beetlejuice turned to his side and looked at the girl.

- You’re not a mess babes, you’re a... spicy disaster! - Ari laughed. It was so nice to hear that adorable laugh again. BJ looked straight into her emerald eyes that were gleaming in the moonlight. - You know, doll, I'm really sorry for creeping around. If I would've known, I... - he shut up as Ari gestured with her hand.

- You didn't know. It's alright. I hate being followed, but you're so goddamn chatty that it doesn't feel creepy at all. Plus, you're not human, which makes me more comfortable. It's somehow nice to have you weirdo around.

For a couple of minutes, they just laid there, both watching the stars. It was so peaceful, but something still bugged Beetlejuice and he just couldn't let it go.

- Hey, babes? - Ari turned her head to his direction.

- Yeah?

- If he ever finds you, can I kill your ex-boyfriend?

[comicteaparty]

July 25th-July 31st, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from July 25th, 2020 to July 31st, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

Where can your comic be read, what is it about, and why should people read it?

carcarchu

last one

mariah (rainy day dreams)

You can read Rainy Day Dreams on it's homesite: http://rainydaydreams.mariahcurrey.com/ Book 1 of RDD is also currently in pre-orders for both physical and digital books. This volume collects the newly redrawn and remastered first five charters. Currently not all of those pages are online so book buyers will get to see them first https://gumroad.com/mariahcurrey Rainy Day Dreams is a manga influenced, character driven supernatural story with dreamlike pacing. It follows the lives Tristin, an excitable and friendly human who becomes trapped in the Nameless World after a treasure hunt gone wrong, Mara, a reclusive retired knight belonging to an ancient lineage of psychics, and Michael, a sad vampire torn between his vampire instincts and being the soft boy he is deep down. Come for the compelling characters, interpersonal drama, and found family, stay for the underlying slow build of the cosmic machinations of the Nameless World's gods and a villain from the past bent on undoing the very fabric of reality. Reasons you should read it beyond the above pitch: - I've been told by frequently people find it's relaxing to read. We all need a little relaxation - Has a female driven narrative - I take every chance I get to put my characters in ball gowns or party dresses - Monsters! Cute monsters, scary monsters! Monsters that want to eat you, monsters that want to smooch you! - I make this comic traditionally with ink wash so enjoy all the beautiful ink blooms! - Chapter 18 starts this week

CoppertheCarutor

Oh wow, I missed out on A LOT! Dang! Well, here it goes I guess. To start off, please read with discretion, this project is rated R/17+ and for now contains: Abuse, discussion of suicide, blood, violence, queerphobia, trauma, mental illness, self-harm, mild body horror, substance abuse, profanity and full-frontal nudity. You can read my comic, The Guide to a Healthy Relationship, on it's main site: http://tgtahr.spiderforest.com/ I also have it posted on Tapas, Webtoons (nudity censored), Comicfury, FlowFo and Itch.io. The Guide to a Healthy Relationship is a slowburn character driven psychological drama about an emotionally immature alcoholic trying to make amends, and fix his friendship with his ex-childhood friend upon discovering they're not dead. Unfortunately the situation is much more complicated and serious than he can comprehend. Why you should check it out: - Possibly interesting if you enjoy non-fantastical character studies and/or Psychology. - May be cathartic if you like consuming heavy content in a controlled environment. - Has some light horror elements. - Contains an extremely flawed LGBT+ cast. - No romance. - This comic is drawn traditionally with pens and color pencils. - The story is a little over halfway finished. - Contains/will contain beaches if you like the beach. - Lots of sky shots.(edited)

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

(Ahhh this was hard to write out, i'll really miss this server) Ghost Junk Sickness is a free to read LGBTQ+ sci-fi that tackles themes of found family, accountability, and acceptance. It rated T for it's course language and violence, and can be read on it's official website, < https://www.ghostjunksickness.com/ > . Books 1-3 are available on the store (link on site) and we're currently on our way to wrap up and print vol 4! Ghost Junk Sickness is about two bounty hunters with an unstable dynamic who are pushed to pursue the elusive and deadly bounty dubbed The Ghost. It updates mondays and fridays, features an extensive cast with queer rep, topics about dealing with trauma, responsibility, and taking control. GJS has: -Space ships! -Lived in worlds/ extensive world building through illustrative backgrounds and characters - Slow burn character growth, expanding relationships, and new love -Drawn traditionally and worked on by a team of two! -Long run story that reached the halfway point, GJS has a huge buffer of over 800 pages now, so it's a time sinker! - hot lizard lady (best part)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

holy shit 800 page buffr

OH wait by buffer you mean archive omg

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

(oh YE we only have 70 page buffer now woohopps lol)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

holy shit 70 page buffer

that's like 10 months

eliushi [Keyspace]

KEYSPACE: A Winged Tale is a story about kids with wings for hair, and can be found at https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/keyspace-a-winged-tale/list?title_no=322364 https://tapas.io/series/KEYSPACE-A-Winged-Tale/ TW: Body Horror (comes with having wings sprouting from the head and more) Keyspace is my passion project about a world between portals that is dying. A Winged Tale is the first story of this series and touches upon the deeper magic that unites the work. It’s about a wingless girl trying to find her missing scientist mother in a laboratory beneath a forest, winged children discovering their origins and Machines that once ravaged the world, now lost. It’s a story for those who grew up with Studio Ghibli stories but want a little more complications and lore but still retain hope for the future. TL;DR: Come for winged hair, sad robots, possibly dragons, lots of science. The comic returns August 1

CoppertheCarutor

AH! Thank you for reminding about a couple content warnings I forgot to add.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Phantomarine is a story about a haunted ocean, a ghostly princess, and her journey to save her soul from a death god known as the Red Tide King. http://www.phantomarine.com/ TW: death, body horror, limb loss Princess Phaedra's untimely and mysterious death casts her out into the dark waters of the Candlelight Sea, forcing her to wander the world as an ethereal seaghost. Her journey toward resurrection quickly evolves into a grand maritime adventure on her ship, the Mantaluna, along with a crew of similarly-cursed friends and familiars. But Phaedra's mission has a dark undercurrent to it - a divine mystery that, when solved, will force her to question everything about her life, her death, and her world's long-dead past. If you like:

-THE COLOR BLUE (or just the ocean) -general spookiness that never gets too dark or gory -flamboyant villains of various kinds -swashbuckling pirate-y stories -fancy boats and pretty islands -big elemental animal gods fighting -friends and family fighting for each other -lots of hero-vs-villain salt and sass -DOGS

then heck yeah, this is your comic (edited)

Miranda (Into the Swell)

Into the Swell is about a Pirate with nothing left to lose but his life and a Wizard who wants more than a life of entertaining royals with party tricks being thrown together on the treasure hunt of their lives. The official blurb is: Ocean swells are remnants of storms hundreds of miles away. So do past actions cause swells of destiny on the shores of the present. Fate will always find a way. Given the choice between a one way trip to the gallows or a return to high sea adventure, imprisoned pirate Fletcher makes the obvious choice. With Court appointed wizard Kelwyn watching his every move, the two set off to reclaim a stolen treasure for King and Country. The ocean journey leads the duo through uncharted waters that hide dangers and secrets that could unravel the very fabric of their lives. Could this treasure hunt prove more adventure than they bargained for? TW: deaths? You can find it on https://tapas.io/series/into-the-swell or Webtoons It’s just starting out so there’s not much yet but you gotta start somewhere!

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Heyo! For all you who don't yet know me, I work on Whispers of the Past, a fantasy comic about a farm girl and an amnesiac elf man going on a journey to learn who they really are. https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366 Age Rating: PG-13 or T+ TW: death and corpses, blood and violence, bladed weapons, profanity, depictions of racial discrimination, alcohol, miscarriage, suicide, suggestive content Magical powers can only come from the other side... When Aniya discovers a foreigner with amnesia, she sets out to help him find the answers to his nightmares. Along with their growing feelings for one another, they will uncover an identity riddled with magic, bloodlines, and betrayal. What WotP has to offer: - a unique painterly art style - in-depth world-building (including a conlang) - hurt/comfort themes - hella family drama - MAGIC - ace, bi, and POC representation - cute romance - If you like high fantasy like ATLA, this might be right up your alley

Nutty (Court of Roses)

I wanna say first of all that thank you for this server. Even if I couldn't participate often, it was a lovely place, love you all!! Court of Roses is in several places, but its main site on Spiderforest is a page ahead! Best place to read it is here: http://courtofroses.spiderforest.com/ As summer comes to an end in the kingdom of Prismal, the Bardic Festival is in full swing, bringing together musicians and minstrels from all over. But amidst the celebration, a sinister plot of murder unfolds... Follow a ragtag group of bards as they band together and travel the realm of Prismal; Merlow the Rose, half-elf, charismatic leader, bagpiper, and perpetual drunk; Diana the Fleetfoot Fletcher, human tidinit player with a heart of gold; Nocturne, brooding but classy Infernal and violinist; Sven Rockscreamer, goliath drummer and seeker of justice; and Feliks Halfdance, curious gnome who plays accordion and magically conjures their entire backup. And who knows! Mayhaps they'll solve a murder mystery together! The comic is greatly LGBTQ-friendly, and takes inspiration from both classic fantasy themes (Dungeons and Dragons, Lord of the Rings, The Elder Scrolls, etc.) as well as music across all genres. Specific pages and scenes might even include their own suggested theme songs in the author notes. Contains Fantasy Violence and Alcohol Use(edited)

AntiBunny

You can as always read my comic at http://AntiBunny.net/ and is a film noir inspired story about anthropomorphic rabbits and the difficulty with coexisting with humanity. Crime and conspiracies move the plot along, but in film noir there's rarely a clear black and white. Why should you read it? Do you like stories about crime and conspiracies? Do you like bunnies? Do you want to see a contrast of cute and grim, and see relatable characters who deal with mental health issues, and fight a struggle for acceptance? Do you ask yourself the question what is identity? Well then this is for you.

You can find my other comic at http://nailbat.AntiBunny.net/. Nailbat is part of the AntiBunny universe, and deals with many of the same issues, but using a more straightforward and action packed superhero story. If you love superheroes and action you'll enjoy it, and maybe along the way get into the deeper lore of the AntiBunny world.

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

Thanks everyone who I have chattet with in here, it has been a delight <3 Wayfinders: Off Course Can be read on Tapas or Webtoons (I prefer tapas ) https://linktr.ee/snackbagstudios Whats it about? You may ask. In a world where magic is as natural as breathing, and the gods are known to actually answer some prayers, a ship is sent to keep the fragile peace between 2 countries that has been at war for 60 years. But guess what? The ship crashes almost immediately. Now the 3 only survivors, a runaway monk, with unexplained powers, the noble son and peace advocate, and a chaos child with an affinity for magic washes ashore on an unknown island and is forced together by a magical compass. With navigation, and magic being broken, it is not an easy task to cross the ocean. If only they knew of the chaos which is unravelling outside their comfortable lives. If they thought this adventure was going to be uneventful, they are in for a surprise. Why should you read it? It is a mix between the Road to Eldorado, and Avatar the Last Airbender, and if that short pitch is not enough, I don't know how else to sell it. It has fun colors, anime reference, and a lot of ocean and sinister magics Thanks to all the admins for putting in so much work in this server

Feather J. Fern

Okay, I have like three comics, and the fourth one coming soon so.....Lets get the easy ones out of the way. On Webtoons, you can read Teasday or Don't you hate it when...(DYHIW) https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/dont-you-hate-it-when/list?title_no=486501 https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/teasday/list?title_no=169870&page=1 DYHIW is a gag comic, so if you want a little laugh to brighten your week, feel free to check it out. Teasday is a tea informative comic, but it's on a bit of a hiatus and ending soon. My current project is Gravitational Pull, a story about a depressed magical girl trying to save the world while also trying to get the energy to leave her bed that day. Read it if you like magical girls, space and representation of anxiety, depression, inferiority complex and learning to take each day slowly. http://gravitationalpull.featheryterrarium.com/ And when it comes out, Go Figure is my comedy action webtoon about someone who wants to use a powerful wish to cure their asthma and allergies over anything else.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

JOE IS DEAD A band of pirates are visiting an island and they discover the dead body of their astronomer JOSEPH CINNABAR. He leaves behind a will with mysterious instructions that none of the pirates really feel like following. The crew decide to send the least-liked and least responsible pirate of them all on a solo mission to carry out Joe's final wishes. If you like: - Alternate historical timelines where the United States doesn't exist - Gay, lesbian, and transgender pirates - Morbid humor, death, dying - Biblical allusion - Warm colors - Alliteration - My handwriting - Birds or anything else, you will love to read JOE IS DEAD, a webcomic worked on entirely by me that will be at 150 pages within a week or so. My background is in marine biology and satirical writing, so I promise you this comic is funny and scientifically accurate. Rated PG 13, mild violence and swearing Where can I read it Read it on http://joeisdead.com/ (the main hosting website with some functional html) or on Tapas: https://tapas.io/series/JoeIsDead It's also on Webtoons but it's a couple chapters behind on there You can follow me on Twitter for information about updates https://twitter.com/sssfrs_

boogeymadam

Sink Your Hookteeth An LGBT+ Cosmic Horror/Love story about eldritch merfolk that fall for a pair of humans who are studying mermaids to cure a supernatural illness. CW: bodyhorror, gore, upperbody nudity, sickness, drowning, tryophobia, eye trauma, If you like:

-sea monsters

-big teeth

-painted comics

-nonbinary and binary transgender, lesbian, bisexual, and pansexual protagonists

-neurodivergent protagonists

-goofy friendship dynamics

-nasty and imperfect wlw couples

-enemies to lovers trope

-childhood friends to lovers trope

then this is a comic you might enjoy :D! It finished chapter 1 a few months ago with 195 pages, takes maybe an hour or two to read, and is currently on hiatus while I am building chapter 2's buffer. You can read it on Its own site https://hookteethcomic.com/ Webtoons https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/hookteeth/list?title_no=300709 Tapas https://tapas.io/series/Hookteeth/info

also i need to read more of these but joe is dead, wayfinders, keyspace: a winged tale, phantomarine, ghost junk sickness, the guide to a healthy relationship, and court of roses are all absolutely amazing and -chefs kiss- please give them all read if you aren't yet!

varethane

Comics!! Chirault A young half-demon named Teeko has been forced from her home, and to make matters worse, is now the size of a squirrel thanks to a wayward magic spell. Her only protection is the demon-hunter Kiran, who is a demon himself and lacks patience for children. Together, they must seek the help of a mage to reverse the spell on Teeko, but the journey is far from straightforward.. My first webcomic-- it's complete, it's a high fantasy adventure comic about finding family, fighting monsters, and also making friends with monsters (both outside and... inside). Check it out if you enjoy any of those things! http://chirault.sevensmith.net/ Wychwood Tiara is a delinquent who has been using a mysterious power to goof around for years without realizing the kind of attention it could attract. When a powerful organization finally tracks her down and attempts to recruit her, she has to decide what she really stands for. This is my new/current webcomic! It's a sci-fantasy genre-blender, with bits of post-apocalypse and urban fantasy thrown in as a treat just for fun. If you enjoy stories involving evil organizations, fire-flinging delinquents, and angsty supersoldiers, give it a look :U (Chapter 4 has just gotten started!) http://wychwood.sevensmith.net/

TaliePlume

Feather Cleanse (French: Nettoyage des plumes, Haitian Creole: Plim Geri) is a supernatural, sci-fi and military Shonen manga. Set in the year 2034 in the Haitian kingdom, Vérité Kindgom, the story follows 14 year old Soleil Andirans, her two older brothers and their cousin who joins their kingdom's military program to help Soleil find a wanted criminal and stopping a mad scientist from taking over the kingdom. This is a personal project that is very dear to me and I can't wait to share with you all hopefully around June of 2023. Why should you read it: -A positive Haitian representation -Strong female protagonist -Learning about a new culture - Family Bonds -Mad Scientists and experimentations - Criminal MasterMinds - Servant and Master relationships -Kings and Queens/Royalties -Dynamic and Impactful Fights Then, this is the comic for you.

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Alrighty cracks knuckles SunnyxRain, a webcomic about monsters surviving college.....BY THE POWER OF FANFICTION. Follow Sunny Dupont, a gluttony demon as she navigates college life and fanfic writing with the help of her housemates Liam (a qilin she roped in as her beta/editor) and Aron (an ocean naga as a fan). A story of trauma recovery and learning lessons about life and love. If you like: -housemate shenanigans -fanfic/fandom culture exploration -kickass but seriously flawed protagonists recovering from trauma - VOID CAT -LGBTQ+ cast because I can -coffee gremlin cryptid dudes -sweet slow burn romance -lesser known mythological creature representation Then this webcomic is for you to read, and y'all can come read it here! https://tapas.io/series/SunnyxRain/info and HERE https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/sunnyxrain/list?title_no=409335(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

Well, Here we go ^^ I have 2 comics right now, so: Millennium: A sci fi adventure featuring two best friends as they seek to help anyone and everyone they can, where we put together a bit of a misfit crew who are all intent on bettering themselves and the world around them. It's a lighthearted, LGBT+ Slowburn The sci fi is soft and so are the characters It's got found family, hurt/comfort, and gentle handling of heavier themes. It's easy to read and shouldn't make you think too much, it's just an hour or two of simple adventure between friends! It can be read a lot of places! My personal site: https://millennium.spiderforest.com/ Webtoons: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/millennium/list?title_no=110866&page=1 Tapas: https://tapas.io/series/Millennium Comic Fury: http://millennium.thecomicseries.com/ and Tumblr!: https://millennium-comic.tumblr.com/ Time and Time Again: A noir mystery about time traveling vampires! We follow Adam, a vampire, and his subject of study, Steve, the first werewolf/vampire. The two of them are trapped in the 20's, looking to solve the mystery of a missing relic. It's a limited palette, scroll style comic if you're looking for a bit more action and higher stakes, and a more serious tone, then this one might be a better fit for you than Millennium ^^ I'm planning on finishing it up relatively soon, so get in on it now! (It's currently on a short hiatus while school is doing me in) It can only be read on tapas! https://tapas.io/series/Time-and-Time-again

kayotics

Ingress Adventuring Company You can read Ingress Adventuring Company at https://www.ingress-comic.com/ TW: some gore, blood, violence Saving the world is a pretty big deal, but what do you do once you’re done with that and no one needs you anymore? Do you become a magic professor? Do you study a convoluted thesis that no one understands? Maybe you relive the glory days by starting up a one-man adventuring party to gather mystical artifacts for people who may or may not pay you. Or, if you’re Toivo Kissa, you do all of those things. Reasons to check it out! - You like D&D or other stories inspired by it - It’s got bittersweet comedy - Very fun villains - Expressive art - Elves. Just a lot of elves. - Sad Dads and old men - LGBTQ+ cast

maxwestart

Poison Ivy Gulch is hosted on its own WordPress site: http://www.poisonivygulch.com/ Poison Ivy Gulch is a funny Western set in a frontier town in the 1870s. The protagonists are Lotta Doler, a gambler, and her kid sidekick Ace. Other characters include a marshal, an undertaker, a prospector and many extras. Poison Ivy Gulch is a spiritual successor to Tumbleweeds. If you like Blazing Saddles, you'll love this!

sagaholmgaard

Ahh dang, thanks for the heads up!! Here it is: https://tapas.io/series/_Reclaim_ My comic, Reclaim, is about a prince that has to deal with the aftermath of a successful coup. His father is imprisoned and sentenced to death, and he's in hiding with his dear bodyguard. Now he has to save his dad and reclaim the throne from the power-hungry witch warrior Irene, but how can the two of them hope to stand a chance against the entire force of the empire? And what was the real reason for the coup in the first place? This is for people who want a heartfelt fantasy story, with inspiration from Steven Universe and themes around being a better person than you were yesterday, and sticking together through hardships!

PiraPiranha

DEPARTURE is a story about dead brothers, hot guys and competent women! Lights! Camera! Action! The flaws of our predecessors are the burdens that we carry today! As galactic governance has been passed down from generation to generation of divine beings, the wars and insecurities of the previous pantheons are weighing down on our world. Whether it’s vanquishing your greatest enemies, or buying tomorrow’s cereal, keeping this flaming shipwreck of a universe together is going to require a little elbow grease, and a lot of flashy super powers! Follow Kovit, a space fighter turned part-time cook and his friends Casey (Cool, has a nice jacket) and Vermillion (Dumb, has stupid hair) as he tries to help the most powerful beings in the universe keep it together (Ostensibly by beating them up). Check it out here! http://departurecomic.cfw.me/(edited)

seetherabbit

Vulperra is an anthology comic featuring superheros, cowboys and regular common folk in the fantasy world of Vulperra. Most of the stories are about the hero Flash Gauntlet, who travels from place to place to solve problems with his magical gauntlets which were bestowed to him by the goddess of the land. https://vulperra.com/

NAAN

Legendary Beings Ara & Celi is about a young girl, Miyara, who is chosen to be the successor to a specific line of Angels – headed by none other than Ara–and with it, duties that extend beyond the physical world. Only one problem: Miyara has no desire to do the job! What will happen then, especially with Celi, Ara’s counterpart, is intent on causing chaos in her life?! You can read Ara & Celi at its main site: http://ac.jadinerhinestudios.com/ Here is the Webtoons mirror: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/legendary-beings-ara-celi/list?title_no=59422 Doesn't have any trigger warnings (maybe that (1) page in chapter 2 is too creepy-crawly for anyone?), and it's currently on hiatus because I'm working on chapter 4, will update again when I have completed it! So enjoy the 3 chapters so far! If you like: • MAGICAL GOILS • an old school b&w shoujo manga style (according to some people, and I don't even do it on purpose ) • on that note, since the 3rd chapter, the comic is drawn traditionally! (all covers are in color and traditional) • expressive comedy • language jokes and notes • angels and demons, yes, it's one of those but is anybody really the bad guy here • a lion and a jinn walk into a bar-- • slow worldbuilding and character development • heck if I know what else, you should just check it out and tell me what you think later like in the good ol' days

L Hornsby

Heyo, I haven't been very active. I'm not used to Discord. If anybody would like some silly comics about puppies that live in the clouds and enjoy parties (and also happen to be princesses) my comic Princess Pups has you covered. It's all ages friendly so if you have younger kids you want to get into comics, it's a swell read according to my 3 years old :) https://tapas.io/series/Princess-Pups/info

carcarchu

@L Hornsby oh i didn't know you were in this server! i actually read your comic because our comics have really similar names ahaha

L Hornsby

Oh wow hey there! :)

I usually lurk on Instagram and Twitter these days and have been crocheting more than comics lately

mathtans

What the heck, been on hiatus more than a year but there's an archive and it's not like there's any dangling plot points. I personify mathematics! Because equations are people too. The hairstyles are the graphs, and there are puns.

Main site: http://mathtans.ca/

Tapas mirror: https://tapas.io/series/Any-Q

It's called "Any ~Qs" because notQ is the symbol for irrational numbers. So anything irrational, in a sense. Very G rated - maybe PG, some discussion of biological sex and tangential politics. Enjoy, possibly.(edited)

Spring-heeled Jack

Hey all! My comic is a horror comic that features some LGBTQA+ characters in the main cast. Today is also my monthly update on public sites. I do four pages at the end of the month on Tapas, Webtoons, and my website. (Patreon gets weekly updates.) It is a story of a picturesque town with a dark secret and what will be done to keep that secret. I follow a few characters through the the twisting plot and show how the darker side of this town affects them. I think this would be PG13 mostly because there will be some blood, but there are no sexual situations. Currently Tapas has the most recent free pages as I will have to do Webtoon and the website manually later today. Happy reading and please do let me know what you think! <3 Website: https://www.iamfilledwithstatic.com/crocus Tapas: https://tapas.io/series/crocusheights Webtoon: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/the-secret-of-crocus-heights/list?title_no=405820 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/iamfilledwithstatic

DanielHookerArt

I have a series of self published graphic novels. When all copies of the first volume sold out I posted it on Webtoon. It's sort of a Isekai Mystery Adventure, inspired by the 1980's movie Labyrinth.

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/line-of-ruin/list?title_no=232705

StickFreeks

Hi I'm Christy! I make the webcomic / graphic novel series EXTRA! It's about Extras in the backgrounds of a movie world escaping their fates of getting killed off... by going to go ask the Producer to stop killing them off. (Sort of like The Truman Show, but everyone is in on it.) You can read it at https://extra-comic.com/ I'm always looking to make new comic buddies! (edited)

Annausagi2

Hello! I joined right at the announcement of the channel shutting down, so bad timing. :,O I've been working on my webcomic Helix since 2012: Read from the start here: http://helixcomic.com/ Description/warnings: A street rat is given a second chance when he is dragged from the gutter and into a new life. Will he accept his position at the side of royalty, or fight every step of the way? -Rated M for sex (M/M, consensual), violence, nudity, language, and dark themes.- Warnings: -References to child abuse and sexual abuse.- If you can handle these subjects, I hope you'll enjoy the comic. :) Thanks for reading! UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY! ~ Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Annausagi2 ~ Join us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Annausagi2

Kalli

I joined right when things were shutting down too :( Just my luck Anyway! I'm Kalli and I have a fully traditionally drawn webcomic, called World of Ruan! https://www.worldofruan.com/ It's a post apocalyptic, sci fi adventure type story, following Cait, a mutant mouse/human hybrid and Roxy, her robot companion! I update every Saturday~ And I'm always down for meeting new comic friends!

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I make Children of Shadow: Ashes and Dark Wings: Eryl. Ashes is an urban fantasy / horror about teens with supernatural powers who have to team up with woodland critters to save the world from twisted monsters. It’s rated PG-13 and has mild language, graphic violence, and intense scenes. Eryl is a dark high fantasy about a fallen angel, a woman on a journey to find a dragon, and a wyvern who has been kidnapped. It’s rated 16+ and contains strong language, nonsexual nudity, and graphic violence. https://twitter.com/kickyourwrasse/status/1277315129793826816?s=21

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Only In Your Dreams! is a rom-com Drama comic featuring shoujo and future LGBT+ elements. Also a mainly BIPOC cast! Rated: PG16+ There are some suggestive language & content, and partial nudity. “Cara Luong is tired of her failed dating attempts and settles for Richie, her imaginary lover every night in her sleep. When given a chance to meet him in person for the first time, she suddenly forgets their long-term romance! Now it’s up to Cara to decide if Richie can live as a real boyfriend. That is, if she wants him to exist in the first place!” What it contains: - Dumbassery moments between a dreamer and a dream boi - Expressions that you can feel it in your soul - Main romantic interest participating in healthy masculinity and embracing femmine traits - horror elements in a romance comic? huh-- - Himbo appreciation - A mixed-Black Vietnamese protag for this romantic rollercoaster lol If you're looking something self indulgent, read it why don't you? I release pages early on patreon! https://www.patreon.com/tuyetnhip Otherwise you can check out the site! It updates once bi-weekly on Wednesdays usually! http://oiydcomic.com/ Tapas: https://tapas.io/series/Only-In-Your-Dreams Webtoon: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/only-in-your-dreams/list?title_no=115046 Other links: https://linktr.ee/oiydcomic

alizarin

I joined near the end of the server but I can't wait to participate in the reboot! So many interesting comics in here * _ * I make a comic called Patent the Sun, it basically reads like a big puzzle. It's about two characters who wake up without any memory, but slowly we learn about their whole universe and what happened to them. Oh and there's also magic, aliens, murder, and crossdressing https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/patent-the-sun/list?title_no=123560 https://tapas.io/series/Patent-the-Sun(edited)

Las Pinter

It is a pity that I was not so active here. I create the Tales From Somewhere comics, currently there are two of them: The Legend and The Secret. Both of them are high fantasy stories taking place in a fantasy world. The Legend is about three adventurers trying to survive in their realm. They are aware of being DnD like characters in a cruel world, where the DM wants to kill them as fast as he can... without luck so far. It has some comedy, action, horror and weird elements. This comic is ongoing since a long time, so expect to have big changes in the style and writing. The Secret is about an elf, who begins his journey from the world's end after an apocalyptic event. Accidentally meets a human thief girl, and now they are travelling together and figuring out what is happening to their world. This comic is currently being revamped and the story is continued parallelly. I would rate them R/17+ since they have some blood, violence, profanity and nudity. Website: https://www.talesfromsomewhere.com/ Tapas: - The Legend: https://tapas.io/series/Tales-From-Somewhere-The-Legend - The Secret: https://tapas.io/series/Tales-From-Somewhere-The-Secret Webtoons: - The Legend: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/tales-from-somewhere-the-legend/list?title_no=77159 - The Secret: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/tales-from-somewhere-the-secret/list?title_no=78355 And I'm on Twitter: https://twitter.com/thelaspinter

quietsnooze

Radio Silence is an award winning queer coming of age webcomic about a British rock band’s rise to fame. Hitting the road on a journey of self discovery and acceptance, this coming-of-age tale gives a backstage look at friendships and the plights of fame as experienced by a modern British rock band. On the fast track toward fame, the five members of the fictional British rock band, Radio Silence, enter into an exciting new life on the road with their best friends. As they tour across the United Kingdom, they excitedly embrace this new lifestyle and all the resulting challenges, including living in close quarters with each other with little privacy, and the overwhelming reaction of the public to their new-found success. Main site: http://radiosilencecomic.com/ Webtoons: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/radio-silence/list?title_no=35242 Twitter: http://twitter.com/quietsnooze

Tired Programmer

This is mine. There will be update tomorrow (in 10 hours). https://tapas.io/series/The-story-of-how-humanity-has-thrown-itself-into-the-scrapyard Civilization, technologically advanced in the past, is now in decline. Killer and hacker are trying to survive and find the answers to their questions among the ruins. What will they meet in this crazy and cruel world of misused technologies? WARNING: strong language, violence and nudity. Only for adults.

JUNK

If any creators or readers are looking for another webcomic server to hang out in, you can check out this one: https://discord.gg/qjWJt7

I'll post it in the general channel too. :3

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

I wish we could have had a bit more time, but thanks everyone for creating such a great space for webcomic creators!! I make HANS VOGEL IS DEAD: an antifascist fairy tale with elements of historical fantasy. A German fighter pilot is shot down and killed during the Battle of Britain. When he wakes up in a fairytale afterlife, he learns what the evil he served has destroyed, and must undo the damage of fascism to become a better person. The end of Volume 1 is coming in the next two weeks, and September will be the fifth anniversary! You can read it on Webtoons: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/hans-vogel-is-dead/list?title_no=62633 and find me on twitter! https://twitter.com/chjorniy_voron

Haruh2 (Colony Life)

This was such a great discord, hopefully we can keep in touch and still chat about comics and such my twitter is : https://twitter.com/Haruh2 Here is my comic Colony Life, ive been working on this for abit and will always love making this comic no matter what https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/colony-life/list?title_no=193784

boniae

I regret that I wasn't more active in here besides occasional lurking, but I always think back fondly to the CTP chat that my comic was discussed in, it was the first time I ever got to see so much in depth feedback and analysis on my comic and I will forever appreciate this server Four Corners is set in 1995, Yokohama, as the story follows Kazuhiro Tsuchiya who now leads his deceased brother's legendary gang, the Four Corners. Kazuhiro is approached by Hideki Yuhara, a schoolmate who claims to have vital information that Kazuhiro should be wary of. The two unlikely delinquents pair up to figure out the reason as to why gangs in the city are being brutally eliminated...though the unraveling of the mystery is darker than it appears. How far will Kazuhiro and Hideki go to rest their case? If you're looking for a slow burn lgbt romance, 90s manga nostalgia, drama, mystery, and a story with a general theme of: misfits who come together against dangerous odds to protect others, especially the ones they love—come check it out! https://tapas.io/series/four-corners/ http://fourcornerscomic.com/ https://twitter.com/boniaeart

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I'll really miss having a new comic to read every week! My comic is called Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R. It's a story of a small woman from a small town who goes on adventures across a strange kingdom. Action, comedy, and very, very slow burn romance... http://sgkdr.thecomicseries.com/ https://tapas.io/series/sgkdr https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/super-galaxy-knights-deluxe-r/list?title_no=41795

LeahVillart

I haven't done much work or anything in general these past months because they've been utter shit for me. This year had stuff breaking in my home, my grandma died from covid, family issues, found out my 9yo dog has lymphoma (blood cancer) and I got to a break point and I'm trying to recover from all the shit. Now it's late and I'm tired so I'm gonna make a super sleepy pitching~ I make Teach Me To Kill a horror-comedy webcomic about a school of villains and killers where a new seemingly innocent teacher arrives to help the worst class become the horror legends they are "destined" to become. [IN ENGLISH AND SPANISH] If you like contradicting/opposite genres or themes you'll find it here, violence, blood, kills, but all done with a cute colorful style where nothing is as it seems. With a cast made of crazy humans, detectives, monstergirls and guys like -our sexy looking hybrid vampire Daki who didn't ask for any of the cards she's been dealt and only wants to find true love and not something attracted by her vampiric aura. - Our lil raven kid Nayla who is a sugar bomb ready to explode, but can break a mountain in two. - Kyllian, a boy who's managed to make a personality out of each of his expressions, which sometimes is helpful and others a horrible mistake. - Q.Bee, an innocent looking girl who radiates sensuality in some weird way luring her victims into her trap. You never know what she's thinking or could do at any moment. the cast and world is really huge and don't want to spoil more, but it's filled with slice of life, mystery, action, dark humor, romance, fantasy, paranormal stuff. A total mix. If you give it a read, thanks for doing so and hope you like it! <3 http://teachmetokill.com/(edited)

Comic Tea Party

This concludes our final #creator_babble chat. Thank you so much to all the wonderful creators who have participated in this chat over its existence. It has been great to see your enthusiasm for the craft of webcomics, as well as learn your unique stories of how you pursue it. We are positive these conversations have helped many other creators out, so we appreciate you having them. For this conversation, and all past #creator_babble chats, you’ll be able to find them archived here: https://comicteaparty.com/creatorbabble

[samthenifty]

Welp, time to get personal I guess. Story time peeps. If you care to read for a few.

So I'm currently in the process of switching jobs. From a minimum wage crew position at good ol McD's, to a starting pay of 13/hour as a interior cleaner of new homes being constructed. Also, bonus its a switch from the dreaded graveyard shift to a lovely regular week day 8 to 4 shift. All with the awesomeness of getting to work with my girlfriend again cuz they hired her too! So I've been stoked!

Although there is a lot of good change in my life, its been stressful. I am awful at handling change. Always have probably always will to some degree. I was also sad to be leaving my team. Almost all of which I thoroughly enjoyed being around. Sure I could try to stay in touch afterwards, but other than an added mutual at this sight to spam with memes. I knew I'd be losing touch with all of them. The allies we have in the hellscape of these sorts of jobs, they are valuable and treasured. Take away the warfront though, and we'd have no real reason to stick together.

I'd only been at this latest Mc'Ds for a couple months, but I'd managed to gather a few amazing memories already. I'll treasure those, along with a couple harsh lessons its brought my way.

One of these lessons, is why I'm writing this post. The lesson that, even with all the growth I've had in recent years, I have a lot to learn about reading people still.

A small bit of backstory for you guys. I have a couple of mental illnesses (no surprise, this is tumblr after all) including generalized anxiety disorder, depression and aspergers tendencies. This last one, for how it affects me at least, essentially hinders my ability to read people. Social cue readings going arrie when I try to absorb them. A very common example being my problem with thinking someone is mad/negative when they probably weren't trying to. Combine that mess with my anxiety, and it becomes very hard to be around people I have had altercations with in the past.

A couple days ago I started the first day of my two weeks after giving McD's my notice. I went in ready to go. Ready to be a part of the team and make the most out of my remaining time. When a little ways into my shift an altercation began. One I have not fully recovered from.

For the sake of anonymity we'll refer to her as M, she is a overnight manager. I had known her as a customer, she was a favorite of mine and my girlfriend's back when she was a crew member. Then one day I came back to the store on a snack run, and I found out she was a manager. Shortly after I applied and started working overnights.

I had been so enamored with her customer service persona that I was so sure I would enjoy working with her. For some parts I was right. She was complicated, mildly selfish and sharp tongued, but I didn't dislike her. At least not at first.

Over the short time I've been working here, I slower started to see through my old view of M. Who I tried my best to continue liking, but it didn't last. One reason being that we had several situations where I would try to say/suggest something helpful, and she'd talk me back into a corner, refusing to give up the last word. I always bit my tongue and tried to brush it off. It wasn't a big deal right? She's the boss after all, so what does it matter what I think right? Fucking wrong.

So when this particular situation arose yet again, I finally lost my patience. Here's what happened okay?

I was running orders for front counter, the guy on register being a new guy. A new guy who had mentioned to me that he hoped he would get assigned the sauces later. He liked that job he told me. So a little while later, after the rush had lulled, I went to ask M if she would be okay with me having the new guy take the sauces along with the three boxes of sauce we no longer needed up front. I was going to continue to say "and I'll watch front counter since I can run for myself", cuz I figured I was probably the more experienced between us. I didn't get a chance to say that part though, because she cut me off and said "why can't you?" I don't remember the next couple of remarks, but the exchange ended in me grabbing up the sauce boxes, informing her that it was just an idea, I don't need to hear all the freaking sass all the time.

By the time I had gotten the boxes back to the shelves, I was starting to fall apart. Whether she meant to or not, M had triggered an anxiety attack. I motioned for a coworker of mine, my mcmutual I mentioned earlier. I told her what had happened as best I could through my choked throat. Tears escaping despite my best efforts to hold my composure. She talked me down, bless her soul. I managed to make it to my ten minute break shortly after. I opened this meme machine website and a doggo cheered me up. I was shaky but stable. Then M came in, sat across from me in the tiny crew room. And tried to confront the situation. Which would have been fine. If she had handled it better. But this is M we're talking about, so of course it wasn't.

She opened up the conversation well, telling me she can't empathize/sympathize if she didn't know whats wrong. That she didn't understand why I, one of her usually best team players under any circumstances (actually a really nice compliment), was trying to push off work onto someone else. I tried my best to explain, she cut my off and told me that new guy was almost off when I asked. Something she could have told me, but didn't. I told her. (Note that he had ended up filling the sauces anyways, so all of this was for nothing in the long run.) She kept running the conversation in circles, making the whole thing about her really, and I gave up eventually. "You clearly just don't understand." I told her. I had given up on trying to explain, I just wanted to talking to end and to move on with the night. Then, she had the gall to get angry with me. She gets offended, gathers her things, and says something along the lines of "fine, you want to sit in here and pout. Whatever, you're leaving in two weeks anyways."

I was, livid. Less than a second following her last words, I boiled over. Taking my phone, which had been under my hand through out the conversation, and slammed it against the table. Fracturing my screen protector (and what I thought was my screen at the time), pissing me off worse, but not as much as the rest of the altercation had. Fine then I'm leaving I yelled after her. I grabbed my stuff, said sorry to the three ladies I was abandoning in night crew, and I sat outside next to their dumb drive through, waiting for my mom to pick me up.

I talked to the general manager in the morning, and I told him what happened, in an abbreviated fashion of course. I told him that I wanted to be there for my time still, but I didn't feel comfortable with working with M. He understood, and asked if I could work 9 to 1 am (half my original shift) so I could be off at the same time as L (another manager lady). I agreed, and he said I didn't have to work Friday and I told him I'd happily come in on Saturday and Sunday still. (I had been under the impression that M wasn't working those nights, but more on that later.)

So yesterday (friday) I go in, and as per usual I'm dropped off almost an hour early due to my girlfriend also being on a McD's night crew in a different city as a manager. I usually would chill in the crew room, but I hunkered down out in lobby instead, hoping to avoid any further conflict. A minute before I'm supposed to clock in I went back to put my coat and bag away. I put on my headband, turned around to leave the tiny crew room, and there she was. M blocking the doorway. Preventing me from starting the workday in peace.

She started with an apology. Which was good and seemed earnest. I was tired of being emotional though, and I knew talking further would trigger my anxiety. So I said, "okay, but I don't want to talk about it."

That's it, that should have been the end of it.

Friends.

It wasn't.

She turned around the conversation again, making it about herself. "Well I won't be okay if I don't talk about it." She says. I didn't say this at the time, but I honestly didn't care. I along with what feels like the entirety of night crew, have been catering to M's mood ever since I started just so we won't all be miserable. I was done with that. I was too tired. I had to look out for myself. So I cut her off, for the first time ever, and I asked her if she wanted me to leave. She stormed off, muttering something about not caring I think.

And that was how I spent less than three minutes in the back of my store. Along with two almost hour long periods before and after in the lobby.

As I waited for my parents to come get me from the lobby, L came to find out what happened. I tried my best to explain it along with a small bit of info on my anxiety. About how I have trouble with people who make me feel emotionally unstable, that no matter how hard I try, M would forever me an unsafe person to me. She couldn't make me stay she says, but she would make sure I had a safe place to work on saturday.

This morning that last comment haunted me. So I called the general manager again, clarifying whether or not M works tonight. When he told me yes, dread started seeping into me. He told me L was going to make sure we stayed seperate. I expressed my doubts, "If M wants something she does it" I told him. I was going to try though, for the sake of my team.

It is currently almost 2:30 pm, and I have not slept. Up until an hour ago I had been trying to, but I've just been too stressed. So I called back, and I told the general manager what was happening. He tried to talk me into going at first, but I think he could tell how strained I was. I apologized profusely, assured him I would be there tomorrow night (the only shift I have left without M), and called out on tonight's shift.

Since that call, I've taken a shower and written this accidental novel. I feel a bit better now. Thank you if you read this far. I know a small handful of you who definitely will. You know who you are. I love you guys. I'm gonna maybe play a game and get a little sleep. Wish me luck tomorrow.

[overthinkingkdrama]

Jona's Top 5 Second Male Leads Who Deserved to End Up Alone

[Disclaimer: This list is intended for entertainment purposes. It includes spoilers for the tagged shows. This is just my personal opinion, so I apologize in advance if I’m bashing your fave. I just woke up this morning and thought, “You know, I haven’t pissed anyone off in a while.”]

In the Kdrama fandom much is made of SLS, or Second Lead Syndrome, that is the condition of sympathizing with the secondary character, usually male and usually the hypotenuse of a love triangle, over and above the actual hero and wishing he would get with the female lead instead. Most of the time because the hero is an asshole and the second lead treats her like a human being. There are occasionally examples of SLS regarding the second female characters, but it is far more common with male, because unfortunately second female leads have a tendency to be stock characters or finger-steepling jealousy monsters, instead of fully fleshed out people. God knows I’ve had my share of SLS in every flavor…

But this isn’t a list about SLS, but rather the opposite of that. This is about the second leads I had no patience for. The ones who are a waste of air and screen time. The ones who annoyed me with their shitty “nice guy” attitudes or frustrated me with their passivity. The ones I immediately wanted to punch in the face. In short, the second leads who deserved to end up alone.

5. Kang Shin Woo/ You’re Beautiful

I’ve gone off several times in the past on the infuriating species infesting dramaland I’ve termed the “passive pining second lead”. I really dislike this character type, it drives me up a tree. So you knew going in one of these boys was going to end up on this list.

It didn’t have to be Kang Shin Woo. It could easily have been Ji Hoo from BoF or Kang Woo from Master’s Sun. Or any number of other second leads who fit this archetype. But it had to be one of them.

I can’t really explain to you why Shin Woo earned my particular ire. Maybe it was just teeth-grinding frustration I felt with each successive, convoluted attempt to woo Mi Nyeo. Maybe it was the weirdness of that let-me-stalk-you-via-telephone-while-you-go-on-a-solo-date thing. Or that fact that the male lead was such an unmitigated moron.

Shin Woo managed to miss his window while Mi Nyeo was still crushing on him hard. He had countless opportunities to confess his feelings and just waited and waited until she was almost obliged to fall for Tae Kyung out of sheer impatience. This is the kind of character that makes me want to tear my hair and yell at the screen “USE YOUR FRICKEN WORDS!”

Luckily, there’s an appealing “third lead” in You're Beautiful who saves it from mediocrity, and the drama is otherwise such dopey, fluffy fun that you can’t help but be endeared. Jeremy saves this from being higher on the list.

4. Lee Ji Hoon/ The Best Hit

Talk about a character who has one of the worst cases of “Nice Guy” syndrome I’ve ever seen. Lee Ji Hoon was one of those characters I was initially rooting for, since Best Hit’s ambiguous love lines appear to leave things open ended as far as the end game couple was concerned. For the first half of the drama it seemed like things could go either way, and the friends-to-lovers dynamic between Ji Hoon and Woo Seung was endearing and heartfelt.

Also Kim Min Jae is pretty. So, so pretty…

For a while I was worried he was going to fall into the “passive pining” category, remaining silent, and losing his chance. But finally he made up his mind to confess and I was ecstatic. Yes! Go for it! And that was just about when it all went wrong.

The way a male character handles rejection and disappointment is make or break in my book. It takes them farther than charisma, looks and even moral fiber. (Give me a pirate or a conman over an entitled asshole.) And for me Ji Hoon totally failed this very important test. After Woo Seung told him she didn’t return his feelings Ji Hoon continually badgered and attempted to win her over even when she asked him to stop, intentionally made her uncomfortable, and thrust a surprise kiss on her. My frustration with his character grew until the point were he told Woo Seung that he regretted meeting her first as his friend, after which point he was dead to me.

Despite the potential ickiness of timetravel paternity shenanigans, I was so relieved when Hyun Jae ended up being our male lead. The Best Hit remains one of my very favorite dramas of the year and I still highly recommend it. But if you want to come at me about SLS for poor, poor Ji Hoon, kindly get out of my house.

3. Han Tae Jin/ Another Oh Hae Young

Han Tae Jin had all the makings of a really interesting, sympathetic anti-hero. After all, he comes across like the obvious wronged party in this love triangle. Due to a case of mistaken identity, Tae Jin becomes the target of the jealous spite of our male lead, Park Do Kyung, ultimately causing the ruin of his business, the breaking of his engagement with the titular Hae Young, and getting him sent to prison! Ouch. That’s a lot of angst wrapped in an attractive Lee “Chiseled Jaw For Days” Jae Yoon.

And yet, instead of cutting a fetchingly tragic figure, Tae Jin turned out to be a vengeful, bitter, violent man incapable of letting go of a grudge even for the woman he supposedly loved. He was such an emotionally unstable, loose canon that I was frequently uncomfortable when he was onscreen. If I’m not very much mistaken he assaults Do Kyung not once, but several times, to such a degree that Hae Young ends meeting him to beg him not to hurt Do Kyung anymore. It struck me as incredibly messed up.

I really didn’t want Lee Jae Yoon on this list twice– I have nothing against the actor–which is the only reason his Cruel City character Detective Ji Hyung Min wasn’t on this list instead. I actually like Lee Jae Yoon! Just not the characters he tends to play…Luckily, Cruel City wasn’t extremely focused on the love triangle, it was focused on the pain. I chose his character in OHYA instead because, being a romance focused drama the way they handled the love polygon was more important to me. By the end of the drama they attempted to redeem him and it just didn’t work for me at all. Keep this dude the hell away from me.

2. Lee Joon Hee/ Falling for Innocence

There are a variety of strategies drama writers use to make us root for the jerk chaebol hero over and against the started-from-the-bottom second lead with treats the female lead with tenderness and respect. They give their heroes tragic backstories, slowly grow them into human beings, build UST, and give them melodramatic redemption arcs. The options are basically endless.

But why go through all of that when you can just make your second lead a secret scumbag murderer! There…all sorted.

This was honestly the most confounding bait and switch love line I’ve probably ever seen. When the reveal of who was ultimately responsible for the death of Sung Joon’s fiancé finally happened I very nearly threw my tablet across the room. They go to a lot of trouble to give Joon Hee a sympathetic long time unrequited love backstory as well as motivation for his sometimes morally dubious corporate ladder climbing. They also give him frequent shippy scenes with Sung Joon where he takes care of her and worries about her or vice versa. While in contrast Min Ho is absolutely horrible to her for a good portion of the show, the only thing that redeems him being a literal personality transplant.

They go out of their way to present this like it’s a legitimate love triangle, when given all of the facts it’s nothing of the kind. It makes me wonder why they even bothered trying to get me invested in the character since it turns out he’s actually evil.

Upon rewatch (started this one again rather recently) I had a lot more fun with this drama. Since I already knew what I was getting into I had the resounding pleasure of yelling at the screen every time Joon Hee and Sung Joon get a cutsy or romantic scene, which is very satisfying. The real reason to watch this show, Min Ho’s horrid behavior in the first episodes notwithstanding, is because Jung Kyung Ho is absolutely hysterical. For me it’s still kind of a garbage show with a garbage plot, but, hey, I love garbage.

1. Goo Jung Hee/ Ms. Perfect

There are very few characters in drama land that inspire in me the kind of hatred I felt for Jung Hee throughout this series. There are villians that don’t fill me with such seething rage. There’s a lot of adjectives I could use to describe Jung Hee. Loathsome comes to mind. An incomplete list of others would include: spineless, selfish, sniveling, and “the slimiest weakling ever to crawl the earth.”

That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I hate this so called man. And yet, to my eternal confusion he is loved by and romantically involved with not one, not two, but three different women throughout the course of the show.

Actually, this entry poses a little bit of a problem regarding what we actually consider to be a “second male lead”. For the majority of the list so far I’ve been using the definition of the “second romantic lead” or, in brief, “the member of the obligatory love triangle who doesn’t get the girl” rather than “a male character with lesser narrative importance and/or subordinate billing to the male lead.”

In Kdrama the two things are usually one in the same. Usually, but not always. The reason is a) most dramas place a heavy emphasis on romance b) romantic fulfillment is usually the overt goal or the overt reward of the hero’s character arc and c) if a show ends without romantic closure (dating, marriage, babies ever after) it’s not generally seen as “satisfying”. But there are cases where the character with top billing or greater narrative importance is not meant to be our romantic lead, or even necessarily someone we root for. Jung Hee falls into this category, which made me wonder if I should even include him on this list.

Because Yoon Sang Hyun received top billing and was considered, by all reports, the lead in Ms. Perfect there was a great deal of disagreement and turbulence surrounding the intended endgame of the drama. Sung Joon’s Kang Bong Goo readily fits the mold of the romantic lead but his screen time is about half of Jung Hee’s, so I can readily understand where these concerns came from.

I’m happy to report that Jung Hee remained a subject of sometimes pity, but more often disgust, and the only thing that really disappointment me with his plot trajectory was that he didn’t end up dying in a fire at the end of the show. Missed opportunity IMO. While certainly a weird and flawed drama, Ms. Perfect remained entertaining throughout its run and I honestly would recommend it if for no other reason that Shim Jae Bok is a goodamn queen. There is the notable downside that this character has forever ruined Yoon Sang Hyun for me as an actor, as I can’t even see his face without feeling slightly ill.

I hope you enjoyed my top fave LEAST favorite male leads. This list was requested anonymously and I would be interested in producing other, similar lists in the future. If you have a subject you’d like me to cover please send me an ask or reply to this post and I’ll take it under consideration.

Jona

[shinneth]

Gem Ascension Tropes (Peridot-specific: S)

Reference:

Primary Peri Post ▼ Primary General Post ▼ Full Article

Say My Name: Per canon with Steven, Up to Eleven. She cries out his name a lot in GA, even when the situation really doesn’t call for a dramatic cry.

Screw Destiny: After seeing Sapphire’s Prophecy in Chapter 7 of Act I, Peridot nominates herself to be the one who will ultimately be left behind while everyone else escapes Homeworld and safely flees to Earth. However, Peridot makes it clear that she has no intention of needlessly sacrificing herself and will do everything in her power to escape with everyone else without compromising their own safety. She spends the final chapter of Act I doing everything she can to make a difference and pays close attention to her surroundings to see what might cause her to succumb to the prophecy so she can avoid it. Peridot very nearly succeeds, but ultimately falls victim to her own clumsiness at the last second.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: After witnessing Sapphire’s vision of how the end of Act I will play out, knowing whoever is bringing up the rear in the Crystal Gems’ escape from Homeworld will be the only one to fall and get left behind, Peridot elects herself for the position. But, she makes it very clear to Sapphire that based on what she saw, nothing hindered the Crystal Gems’ escape based on the vision, so Peridot refused to interpret this as a necessary sacrifice. Since the vision wasn’t clear on what causes the remaining to fall in the first place, Peridot is very attentive of her surroundings during the final battle. The way it ends up playing out, Peridot can’t see anything that would cause her to fall (though the timed falling gates in the tunnel show her how she’d get separated from her group). She’s mere seconds away from reaching Steven and Garnet (who already made it to the finish line) before falling and getting Separated by a Wall from her friends. The reason for Peridot’s fall? Her own clumsy nature. Despite Sapphire interpreting Peridot’s position as a sacrifice while the vision didn’t show anything to suggest that being left behind was necessary, Peridot realizes her friends are initially unable to take off, as the spaceship is tethered to the makeshift chute she and her friends made when they first landed on Homeworld. White Diamond is no more than a minute away from reaching all of them, and while Peridot is very weakened and injured, she does have just enough strength to use her metal powers to sever the chute’s connection to the spaceship, allowing it to fully take off just in time.

Semi-Divine: Emerged as this, but said divinity was benign until White Diamond induced artificial growth of those elements.

Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Per canon, and Up to Eleven in this continuity. You could make a separate page of her alternative phrases invoked with this trope alone. Still also prone to Techno Babble.

Sexual Euphemism: Considering Peridot’s penchant for Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness, she has alternative verbiage for nearly every aspect of sexual activity that she uses in place of the usual terminology. She almost always refers to sex as “coitus”. But that’s nothing compared to her way of phallic phrasing…

Shapeshifter Identity Crisis: Discussed and downplayed; this is a legitimate concern Peridot has with her Chartreuse Diamond Alter Ego, but Chartreuse herself isn’t really that distinct from Peridot in terms of personality. Then again, there haven’t yet been many opportunities for Chartreuse to display any differences when she’s primarily there for a quick power boost, teleportation, fusion, or accidentally comes about when Peridot is mentally or emotionally unstable. Peridot does confide in Steven that Chartreuse is a bit less restrained when it comes to certain urges and especially has a dirtier mind (something Steven himself picked up on in Chapter 6 of Act III). Possibly justified in that Peridot doesn’t really want to give Chartreuse enough time out to really form her own distinct personality, though now that Peridot has accepted Chartreuse as part of herself in GA’s finale, that suggests she will have more of a presence in post-GA events.

She’s Back: After being Left for Dead in Act I’s finale and only being present via prerecorded messages throughout Act II (with just a small scene of how she’s faring in the present day at the very end of said act), Peridot is front-and-center again come Act III. 

Shorter Means Smarter: Even post-ascension, Peridot’s one of the shortest members of the Crystal Gems, and of course is The Smart Gem.

Shut Up, Hannibal!: Whether she’s Peridot or Chartreuse Diamond, Act III shows several instances of her invoking this trope on White Diamond.

“Shut Up” Kiss: Gave one to Steven in Chapter 6 of Act I that doubled as a Motivational Kiss. 

Sibling Yin-Yang: Zig-Zagged with 5XF. They led virtually opposite lives on Homeworld; once 5XF is brought to Earth, however, she displays several mannerisms and characteristics that Peridot happens to share. These details were brought to light with little to no influence of Peridot’s own, so they are quite genuine (whether 5XF admits to that or not). Despite that, 5XF at her core proves to be a very different person from her sister. At the very least, no one will confuse the two for one another and they’ll never be regarded as clones.

Sigh of Love: Peridot does this a lot, mostly in Steven’s presence after they become an Official Couple. Especially prevalent in the post-GA stories.

Single-Target Sexuality: Her behavior heavily suggests this for Steven.

Skyward Scream: What Peridot first lets out in anguish over losing Pumpkin.

Slashed Throat: The end result of Peridot being Tricked to Death by White Diamond, although subverted in that this doesn’t kill Peridot at all since she’s a gem. The point of White doing this was to invoke Your Mind Makes It Real on Peridot (which she succeeds in doing) to shock her senses enough so that it makes her lose consciousness. However, the lingering visual haunts not only Peridot’s memories, but also Steven’s… leading to some very significant changes in both of them down the line.

Sleep Cute: At the end of Bottled Up, this happens to Steven and Peridot on the roof of the beach house.

The Smart Gem: Per canon, she is this trope even more so than Pearl (outside of knowing anything about Era 1). Peridot retains this role even after becoming a Hero Protagonist.

Small Name, Big Ego: Per canon, even with her added Heroic Self-Deprecation.

Big Ego, Hidden Depths: Peridot has quite a few self-esteem issues, even more so than her canon counterpart. She can be surprisingly mature when she needs to be, and despite being so self-centered, Peridot doesn’t hesitate to put her friends before her.

Snark-to-Snark Combat: Engages in this with Lapis a few times; it’s the best way she can passive-aggressively vent her frustrations towards Lapis that don’t get properly addressed until way later in the story.

Social Climber: Exclusive to Peridot prior to her Earth assignment. She was very much The Backstabber variety. This trope can actually be credited for Peridot being able to ultimately become a better gem befitting the Hero Protagonist she becomes in GA, despite defining who she was at her absolute lowest point.

The Sociopath: Before she was promoted and assigned to Earth, Peridot was a very egregious one. Averted after meeting Jasper, as explained in This is Who I Am Chapter 3, where that experience alone forcibly shook this trope right out of her. However, a sliver of it must still remain, given the nature of Peridot’s Heroic Safe Mode…

Sorry That I’m Dying: How Peridot prefaces most of her messages to her friends in Act II.

Stepford Snarker: Peridot has her moments of this in Act I, but it’s most prevalent in Act III, right around the point where she’s holding the Jerkass Ball in Chapter 6 because she’s agonizing over the fact that she and Steven can’t fuse. She’s not ready to tell anyone else (and they’re on a mission, so it’s not the time nor the place), so most teammates who dare address her in early Chapter 6 will get some unwarranted sass.

The Stoic: Peridot emerged as one. She was the only one in her facet who felt no pain when her limb enhancers were equipped shortly after she emerged; so much that she barely even noticed it was happening. This helped make a strong first impression for Peridot, who later used the respect she earned from her early life to transition from this to The Sociopath. This trope was forcibly shaken out of Peridot courtesy of Jasper via a Near-Rape Experience when they were first assigned together. What little composure she had left after that was soon diminished entirely as her repeated confrontations with the Crystal Gems after getting stranded on Earth further pushed Peridot past her limits. Shortly before she was finally captured by her enemies, Peridot was such an emotional wreck that even the kidnapped Steven could tell the stoic demeanor he first saw her with was little more than a façade – and later defined it as an example of Homeworld’s oppressive way of keeping gems from truly being who they truly were. Late in Act III, Steven confirms Peridot truly not embodying this trope was what really saved the world, as he likely would have listened to Garnet and never freed Peridot from the Burning Room had he not seen her vulnerable side. However, much like her sociopathy, a sliver of this trope does remain deep within Peridot and only comes out in extreme situations that call for it – namely Heroic Safe Mode during Chapter 4 of Act I, as well as manifesting in her dark persona known as “5XG” in Chapter 5 of This is Who I Am.

Strapped to an Operating Table: Willingly at first, since Peridot’s aiming to get new limb enhancers in Chapter 4 of Act 1, and she needs to be strapped to such a device to have them applied. However, it quickly becomes a trap as 9FC ruthlessly mangles her limbs.

The Strategist: Single-handedly plans out the entire rescue mission in Act I. She proposes Lapis’ necessary change in combat style due to the change in environment, and she performs a great number of feats in the final battle on the first act seemingly on the fly. Downplayed after Act I, as she’s entirely absent for Act II and spends a good chunk of Act III either kidnapped or mentally compromised. However, Peridot’s still chipping in on plans by Chapter 5 of Act III; the role just becomes more of Pearl’s out of necessity.

Street Smart: For Homeworld, she is. She isn’t quite as sharp as 5XF in this ability (largely due to being a delusional egomaniac when she lived there), but Peridot is very well aware of how to behave in a way that won’t draw attention on Homeworld; hence why she’s the team’s navigator and guide. 

Supernatural Angst: Peridot is afflicted with this early on in Act III when she learns that she’s an Unwitting Test Subject. While she comes to accept who she is by Act III’s conclusion, this never fully goes away.

Suspiciously Specific Denial: Always the reason why Peridot can’t lie her way out of a wet paper bag.

Peridot: “Are you suggesting I’m just trying to act tough because there’s a giant scary messy battle going on and it’s definitely not terrifying me? Because I swear it isn’t!”

Sweet and Sour Grapes: Arguably how one can sum up Peridot’s entire life in the GA continuity. See Cosmic Plaything for more details.

Swiss Army Superpower: The nature of having a power charged by will means Peridot (and Chartreuse) has almost limitless possibilities for how to utilize it. So long as she knows what she’s trying to do with her power and can picture it in her mind, Peridot wields the most versatile power one could ever have. Of course, with Peridot specifically, there’s only so much she can do with said power before it starts taking a toll on her corporeal form – in order to truly have the bare minimum of limitations, she has to be Chartreuse Diamond while wielding the power. Still, even with the power cap, the variety of utility inherent with Peridot’s will remains unmatched by any other Crystal Gem.

Symbolically Broken Object: The Dramatic Shattering of Peridot’s visor at the end of Act I after she trips and falls head-first into a metal-framed door. Serves as a punctuation to Peridot’s (presumed) fate to die at White Diamond’s hands when she was so close to escaping with her friends, and factors into The Reveal regarding her Mismatched Eyes.

[prussiasboxerbriefs]

language journey

thanks to @squeezieslangblr for tagging me and giving me an excuse to infodump about languages :D

rules: reblog, tag ten others and share your answers

1. what languages are you studying/have you studied?

- my dad is german, so he spoke and read books to me in german, and my german grandparents were the only ones who ever bought us dvds, so i grew up watching either pbs kids or the same couple sendung mit der maus and dubbed disney movies on dvd. i picked up a decent amount this way, but my grammar and spelling were abhorrent and i started studying it on my own in 8th grade, so now i can actually consider myself decently fluent (even though my grammar still sucks B) just reasonably less)

- obligatory spanish through 6th grade; i’ve picked it up and dropped it on-and-off over the years but at the moment it’s lower on my wishlist than a lot of other languages

- latin for two years in 7th and 8th grade, of which i remember almost nothing

- started learning french on duolingo at the end of 8th grade in preparation for switching to it in high school; i ended up skipping a year of french because american language education is fucking terrible

- the summer between 8th grade and high school i was emotionally unstable and started learning italian to cope (i’m not kidding) but i kind of trailed off with learning it last summer + haven’t picked it up since

- i was really excited about russian and i started learning that on duolingo as soon as the course came out (bc i still didn’t realize you could learn languages for free without duolingo) (i was in 9th grade, so late 2015 i think?). but i stopped, and then restarted last year, and i was sticking with it up until a couple months ago. i’ve been having kind of a rough time, so i lost my interest in a lot of things i love, but even once i get on meds i doubt i’ll have time for it come september :\ i love russian though, so hopefully i can keep it somewhat fresh

- i can read hangul and kana, and languages i was interested in and super focused on for like a week include korean, japanese, mandarin, hebrew, icelandic, swedish, and dutch

- tl;dr: i’m currently focusing on german and french, and i’ll be taking an online IB course in beginner’s mandarin junior + senior year!! in the past i’ve seriously studied russian, italian, and spanish, and i’ve dabbled in korean, japanese, hebrew, dutch, swedish, and icelandic

2. how long have you been studying?

i got really into languages in april-may of 2015 i think, so that would make it two years

3. did you learn through class or self study (or both)

spanish, latin, and french are all classes i have taken in school, but i go to an american school and language classes teach you nothing here :\ so i take french, but the way class worked last year, our teacher would write the name of the grammar topic we were studying on the board, and then i’d ignore him and research it myself on my computer. hopefully it’ll pick up this year now that i’m in a higher level, but idk. all other languages i’ve self-studied, and i’m self-studying french over the summer anyway 

4. why did you decide to learn this language?

- i want to major in animation for college, and the best animation colleges that don’t cost half your soul are mostly in france, so that’s my main motivation for getting to a decent level in french.

- german is my heritage language, and it’s one of my favorite languages because i grew up with it. (also, german college is free) 

- i decided to learn russian because cyrillic looked really cool to me, and i liked the way it sounded. also, it has a reputation for being “harsh” or “ugly”, like german does, which probably drew me to it as well (other reasons include the declension system, the challenge of learning a complicated grammar, matryoshka dolls, russian literature being super famous and esteemed, snow, how big the slavic language family is, and cheburashka).

- everybody says mandarin is really hard, which makes me want to study it. i’m curious about the tones, and i like the writing system. (also, if i can speak russian and mandarin, then i’ve got the languages of the three major hacking countries under my belt, so i could totally work for the CIA or be a spy or a hacker or something :P )

5. what was a major highlight/milestone in studying this language?

german: finally understanding the declension system of der/die/das

french: understanding how all the verb tenses work, which took approx. 2 years (and now they’re super easy for me!! it’s so cool!!!)

russian: realizing that i was starting to decline nouns + adjectives without even thinking about it (i think that was back in march or april, though, so i’m kind of rusty now)

6.what was the hardest thing about learning this language?

french i’ve found pretty easy because of all the cognates between it and english, and the verb tenses i struggled with until i learned english, and realized that a lot of tenses are either the same construction in both languages, or the reverse of each other in meaning

russian...it took me ages to get the case system, but that was because i didn’t study it enough tbh :P i’m still struggling with perfective/imperfective verbs + verbs of motion, but again i think that’s something that probably just requires rote memorization and discipline

7. what resources did you find most useful for studying this language?

i leaned super heavily on duolingo for a while, although i know better than to trust it for everything now. my personal favorite sites are dict.cc (german-english/french/russian/etc. dictionary), verb2verbe.com (french verb conjugation), lingolia (german + romance languages grammar guide), and russian-lessons.net (russian grammar). “german grammar drills” second edition is a really good grammar book that got me to finally stop butchering my heritage language and slurring my articles so native speakers wouldn’t realize i was incompetent B)))

8. any top tips for studying this language?

for languages in general, i would say make sure you understand your own language’s grammar first (especially if you’re an english speaker whose school never taught you grammar like mine). practice vocabulary and WRITE every day. practice active use of your TL, not just passive consumption. i am lazy and don’t do this and believe me, your skills will suffer.

9. what’s your next major language goal?

my next goal is probably to succeed in my german fluency exam and french and mandarin school exams senior year...after that i’ll have space to study new languages, so i want to get back into russian (if i don’t have time before then), and then maybe korean, thai, or hungarian?...there’s so many languages i want to learn, and it changes so often, i’ll probably study something totally different 2 years from now ;w;

10. anything we can do in the tumblr community to get you there?

i was thinking about starting my own langblr! but i still need to figure that out...also, the majority of my blogging is done on mobile, so i don’t know how much original content i would contribute, and i really want to focus on school and my college portfolio as much as possible. so we’ll see, but i’d love to join the langblr community from more than just my personal blog

i’m tagging @langloser and anyone w/ a special interest in languages who wants an excuse to talk about them (not that you need one tbh)

[bpdmisadventuresandme-blog]

Prison Pt 2

continued from previous blog.....<3

Soooo now you've all got over the whole prison ‘thing’ lets discuss what 5 weeks inside a prison did for me. 

I Slept that first night . I have no doubt that was pure exhaustion. I heard an alarm going off at around 5am and was aware something was ‘kicking off’ further down the corridor. That morning having not really been told what to do the night before and only having tv shows for guidance , up to this point, I was aware that I should prob be up and dressed by time breakfast was called .....whatever time that may be ?! I literally had no idea. Needless to say I didn't need to worry at 7am a prison guard walked around the wing , unlocking the doors and saying good morning to each prisoner. it was all rather dignified and polite to be fair. I asked him what I had to do and he said don't worry we would get called for breakfast and then we would be on lock down till 11am. I learnt from another prisoner that lockdown was locked in our cells.

It was a good wing to start off on to be honest as that morning a couple of other first timers arrived and some regulars too. It was scary but also a type of community began to form. We all talked and formed bonds that, well, for me defiantly, took. me through my time in jail. All ages, all offences and each wing had one long timer on who helped us all learn the basics, the what to do’s and what not to do’s. There was an element of “who not to talk too going on “ which I took with a pinch of salt.... I wasn't niece enough to know politics/grudges were not rife in prison. 

That first day I cried in my cell. I made lifelong friends, I ate the worst food imaginable and I laughed. Yep I actually laughed .... a group of 6 of us were sat around the eating area and something was said and we all laughed then looked at each other as though no-one was quite sure if that was allowed or right (new timers ) ....even the officer on duty shouted across the room. “This is prison you shouldn't be laughing” it was only when he started laughing that we realised he was laughing with us. 

In the 5 weeks I remained in jail for breaking my bail, so until I had my next court hearing, I moved wings 3 times. Due to being on a mental health ACCT I was in single cells each time. I personally preferred that as I needed to hide at times from the noise and “life in jail” atmosphere. Others much preferred to have cellmates and each to their own. 

When people ask me how was jail I normally answer with “Well it was ok , it wasn't shocking bad”. and this is generally correct. I wasn't attacked or bullied, I wasn't treated like shit by staff. We ate well if we choose too eat full on stooge everyday lol. The other parts that I don't talk so much about..... well that I think until this point ive shared with a handful of people , is the overwhelming loneliness, the lack of suitable medication available (due to concerns regarding trading meds, so some meds were completely banned) just so happened these were two of my main meds so I suffered.My daughters birthday happened whilst I was in jail and this was incredibly hard to deal with as her father refused to let them visit, me being in jail was the ultimate control he could have ever wanted. The first 10 days I had to wait for my calling numbers to be approved and this meant I couldn't call people although my mental health team did arrange that I got my best friends number approved and £2 credit put on my Canteen -  (the jail credit system) as my money hadn't arrived from the outside.  Ninety nine percent of staff were friendly, approachable and non judgemental but like anywhere the other one percent let staffing down. I was on lockdown for 72 hrs twice. first time was because I had a sickness bug so rightly so your put on cell lockdown so its not passed around prison.2nd time I was wrongly put on lockdown and despite telling the guard who did it I shouldn't be as I hadn't been unwell in 2 weeks it was only till my mental health team paid me a unannounced visit that staff realised they had put the wrong person on lockdown. This may not seem like much but when your in jail and the highlight of any day is the unlocked door ....30 plus hrs on wrongly assigned lockdown turned me slightly unstable and it was during this point they also moved me from the “welcome wing” and into a new wing. This wing I can only describe as a submarine in disrepair. I was in a tiny single cell with no shower or closed off toilet. Inmates who were assigned this cell had to use a communal shower which was inhabitable, and yes I went days without a shower. My toilet was behind a small two foot wall and I was clearly in line sight of anyone walking past the door, closed or not, as my eye hole (as I called in) wouldn't close. THIS was most defiantly an old, un updated part of the prison. It was exactly how a innocent me believed prison would be like! My mental health went dramatically downhill and it was in this cell that I first tried to take my life. I made and used a ligature and despite being on 8 min watch, I managed to ligature myself against the desk chair. A member of staff was called by another prisoner who had walked past and seen me through the eye hole. I heard alarms and felt the ligature being cut off . That evening I was on 3 min watch and as such they might as well have just not moved all night. My mental health care coordinator visited and declared me at risk of myself. No change then. I discussed how depressed I had been feeling since the change of cell and that things like my lack of a shower or a working phone meant I could self soothe by calling my best friend or children. This was seemingly took into consideration and the next day I was moved to my final cell. This was more like the welcome wing although twice the size (the wing not my cell). 

Sadly the last couple of weeks got harder for me in many ways, I seemed to have rubbed up a repeat visitor who took offence to my ‘posh voice’ and this became a very touchy issue. I can only describe it in the manner that she took an instant dislike to me and let me know about it. I was lucky that I had made ‘close’ friends from the start and a few of those followed me onto my final wing and during unlocked points I stayed close to them and didn't feel scared, more trepidatious as to why me. Lock up she went through a few days of screaming about killing the posh bitch which not gunner lie made me kinda glad the guards locked the bloody doors!! During this time I also couldn't contact my children as unbeknown to me their dad had told the prison system to ban my children phone numbers from my calling list. This broke me. I can't come close to being able to explain how this made me feel. What was the point ? what did I have to live for now ? I had made sure my chilren had been aware that I was in jail because id done something wrong but they were also of an age where they knew why I had done what I had done. They had been brought up to believe people in jail were there because they were nasty or dangerous and I then had to explain how its not always that simple.... it was hard to maintain those values and morals that id brought my children up with too explaining why I was in the situation I was in. 

That night I waited till I had been checked on and I ligatured myself and placed a carrier bag over my head which I tied tight with the 2nd ligature. I blacked out. I came round to a room full of prison officers and medics and vomited on a medics shoes. I was told by a guard they had called code blue, which means prisoner suspected not to be breathing. 

I was put on constant watch from that point for the next 48 hrs. I could feel myself giving up on everything. I needed to call my best friend at least twice a day and he became my lifeline. I realised that out of everyone in my life he actually cared. He even arranged a visit. he was the only person who did. He was down as my next of kin and presumed he had been informed regarding the incident but it was only upon leaving jail that I realised he hadn't been informed at all. Jail life was just that ... jail life. it wasn't nice. it was scary, it was lonely and it was demoralising. I was in jail for breaking my bail NOT for my actual sentence so I had to worry about what I was going to get in court for my actual sentence. I had to prepare myself that it could have been up to 7 years for the offence I was charged. I had to hear from other offenders who had been sent down for similar and In jail everyone is a professional when it comes to ‘what you might get’ sentence wise !! I started to prepare myself that if I got up to 2 yrs , possibly 3 id cope somehow. If I got more id end my life in jail. 

Cut to court. I received a community sentence of a tag and curfew and probation and victim surcharge for my crime. I remember driving to court on my sentencing date in the prison van doing all these weird obsessive things which meant good luck to me. so for example , if I looked at the sun rising once I had to do it 4 times then not again, if I caught sight of it again...the pattern repeated itself. If I itched my nose once I had to do it 4 times, when I arrived at court and was in the holding cell I had to have an even amount of cups of coffee and visits to the toilet otherwise it was bad luck.  It was emotionally and physically draining. My solicitor came to see me in the holding cell and with my barrister told me I was facing a higher charge than before, of intent , instead of reckless behaviour. My barrister at this point told me I was looking at 7 years. As it turned out the judge wanted to know more about the offence that had preceded mine and the background reasons for my offence and postponed sentencing. my solicitor asked for bail not believing for one min I would get it but the judge awarded it with a curfew and tagging system. I was allowed to leave the court. This was absolutely not what anyone was expecting and I don't think it hit me until my friend was driving me back to his after court. The thing is you don't just leave jail and that's it.... your head stays in jail for a long time even once home. I thought id sleep like an angel but alas this was not the case. I still have occasional nightmares of doors slamming and being locked up even 6 months down the line from leaving jail. 

Court date passed and as I stated I received probation. 

Then the almost harder part started. Coming to terms with what id gone through. rebuilding bridges, admitting where I had been as I just disappeared and only wrote to a handful of people when inside, I refused to hide it, I shared it along with the mental health issues id always been open and honest about. This blog is only the 2nd time ive voiced everything that happened in jail. once to my best friend , now partner, and on this blog. 

I will take this experience like I did the mental health struggles , and share and use in a productive manner. I will take this knowledge and I will share with others to help and support individuals who may need it. 

Im not proud of my conviction.

But there were reasons that led up to my breakdown and subsequent offence.

The hardest part....undoubtably the earthquake that shattered a perfect relationship with my children which I'm still rebuilding and repairing and will be for a while. 

Am I glad I didn't die in jail. Yes now. Ill use it to educate and support others.

[wordsbymareehasoomro]

Pages 1-7

 Before I could say goodbye, the train started rolling, I craned my neck to see him and I looked at him till he faded. I didn’t even say goodbye. He didn’t say it either, we departed like we were gonna meet the next day.

I knew he won’t show the pain. I knew he could smile and laugh even when he would be burning and exploding from the inside. That was the way God made him and that was how God gave this crinkly eyed monster to me. I was not supposed to change him but I do believe God should have sent a warning label along with him.

8th November 2007; when I first got to know Adrian, he was not the person you would want to be with. He was emotionally detached and carefree. Very charming. And awkward. Gentlemani-sh but would ignore you like you died. He was that guy who seemed mysterious because he was distant sometimes. I tried to dig into him all day long trying to make him say things that tell me about his life but somehow he would keep telling me that he has no plans of actual commitment. The highest level of compliment you would get from him would be ‘’cute’’ yes im not even kidding. Apparently hot was not a term he would use for you, in a million years. Like, I said a gentleman but forced into a fuckboy. I had a slight clue that there is a full-time gentleman hidden inside him and I literally burned my ego into ashes to know that full time gentleman out of this fuckboy.

Strange but yes, we met through his ex. He had a lot of exes apparently. Not new to me, I’ve had all kinds of species in my relationship history as well. Everyone had earlier mentioned this guy to me as a ‘’fuckboy’’ of course. I still don’t know how was I described to him but im sure in bad words. We both were bad in our own comforting ways. I saw a glimpse of him at a party, I had no second thoughts. Yes, I found him cute. Why? Because he almost fit my ‘’good looking characteristics in a guy’’ list and it was as follows

1.    Hooded, crinkly eyes, deep as hell

2.    Lips small but not too small. Big but not too big. Smaller than mine, big lips makes it feminine for me on a guy

3.    Hairy but not too hairy, should have dark deep eyebrows

4.    Should know how to make his hair. Not too boyish and not too uncle type. Just in the middle of it

5.    Should make a great couple with me

6.    Height bigger than me

7.    No teeth problems otherwise disqualified

8.    Shoe sense

  ‘’What are you looking at? He’s a Jewish and he is with every other girl in the world’’ my friend said to me in a sarcastic tone. I acted like I wasn’t looking at him ‘’I was looking at his ex, she’s pretty but desperately needs to get her teeth fixed’’ and we both laughed it off but deep inside, both of us knew I was gonna send him a friend request as soon as I go back home.

I was acquaintances with his ex so I search him up and he’s right there. ‘’Wow so now he has a dimple too? It was not even in my list!’’ That was a shocker. Quite strange but I had never been with a guy who had a cute little dimple and this one had it. Fucked me up. Added him instantly and he accepted ‘’instantly’’ because of course he was thinking of me as just another target and what was I thinking? Probably ‘’he’s a cute guy’’ just that. I didn’t wanna flirt with him, I didn’t wanna date him, I obviously at that point of time couldn’t think about marrying him because of the religious differences so what was I getting?

I don’t know.

I wish I was that sorted out in life. So now he adds me back and we kind of have this really serious conversation about things…which make me feel like he’s way too serious for me.

BUT YES, I would like to mention he started the conversation.

Adrian- Can you please introduce yourself?

Me- (being as awkward as I can be) How do you introduce? Hahahahahaha

Adrian- I’m a 21 year old living in Canada

Me- Okay can I introduce myself now? Im a 20 year old obsessed with batman and I wanna have a pet monkey so yes tell me more about yourself

Adrian- Damn and you ask me how do you introduce?

Me- Am I good at this shit? Duh Im good at everything

(And there, I said it)

No but on a serious note,  nice abs (after looking at a photo of his abs on his profile of course)

Adrian- typing…

Me thinking okay now he thinks im desperate as fuck and a slutty hoe

Adrian- Thanks but I don’t like my abs im going to workout more in the future

Me (not knowing shit about gyming and abs and workouts)

– but whyyyyy?

Adrian- Just like that

And you’re obsessed with batman? I am batman

(Wait what? Don’t tell me he likes batman too? This is gonna be interesting)

Me – If you don’t mind I would like to confess that I AM BATMAN sorry

Adrian- You can be batwoman for sure

Me – Batman with tits so mind your own business, I can be whatever I want to be

Adrian- Wow that’s pretty interesting batman with tits wow..

Me- yes very interesting, thankyou

(By now, He would have known this girl is mentally unstable)

Adrian- It’s good to be yourself

(He was still acting very gentleman-ish I have to tell you)

Me- you love me already

Adrian- Can you stop day dreaming?

(Ouch…)

Me- I can stop, yes.

Adrian- So I came back to study here after the party where I saw you, I come back to your city after every 3 months for a month or two

Me- Oh, I see

(Now, honestly I was like lets get out of this conversation its pretty dry)

Adrian- This is such a fucked up place, after a while you have nothing to do here

 And then I ignore the message. For three days. Yes three days. Because Im thinking this guy is pretty cute but too serious to talk to

And then in about a week, I am randomly going through my last conversations with people in the past few weeks, and I see his profile picture pop up and im thinking lets try again, maybe he’s not that serious, maybe he will send me memes, maybe he has a crazy side.

‘’Hey there’’ I send it to him

No reply.

A day passed away, No reply.

2 days pass away, no reply.

NEVER IN MY HISTORY OF HOOKUPS, IVE HAD A GUY WHO IGNORED MY MESSAGE FOR 2 DAYS.

My ego is burning.

3 days no reply.

My ego is about to burst into flames

And I get a reply finally, we exchange numbers

And then he wants to call me. Im thinking ‘’No, what if he’s a kidnapper, a rapist, a weird drunk fuckboy who wants to talk dirty to me, he wants to talk after 12am, he obviously wants to talk dirty im not talking to this random ass’’ I decline the offer. I make up an excuse and we don’t talk on call that night. The next night, he makes the offer again and I remember how he ignored me for 3 days when I didnt reply back for sometime and I don’t decline the offer. Why was I scared of not getting attention from this stranger who is too serious for me? I don’t know.

God knew better. God knew what he was upto. God knew why this stranger was creeping into my life like that.

He calls me. I’m so nervous. He sounds familiar. He sounds like someone I know but Im pretty sure I don’t know him. He begans talking like a gentleman and holy shit, in a minute or two this man starts making me laugh my ass off with his jokes. His horrible, lame yet funny as hell jokes and Im laughing, im laughing all night long. He’s telling me about himself, im telling him about myself, we both tell each other things that should take a longer time to be unveiled but we don’t take the long route, we spill it out. I tell him things that I would never tell a stranger, I tell him about family. He tells me about his family. We both talk about our little siblings. He gets serious for a while and then starts trolling me again and the laughter session continues. I stare at my wall clock, It’s 9 fucking am in the morning. No exaggeration. ‘’It’s 9 am’’ I said ‘’It’s 9 am’’ he grinned. And then we both laugh for no reason and we end the call in a few minutes. I don’t know about Adrian but I had a huge smile on my face before going to sleep, that night. And I had not smiled like that in a long.. long time and just so you know, im smiling even right now as im typing this because it reminds me of that exact moment I decided to sleep with him in my head, trying as hard as I can to insert him in my mind, thinking about the possibilities, I was crazy enough to fall for a guy after a call? ‘’No. No you cant’’ but no one knows me more than my dear heart ‘’Yes you can’’ it whispered to me.

The next day, I send a good morning text to him, You know the shit is about to blow up when you send a good morning to someone. He was my first thought in the morning.

We talk. All day almost. And the night? We call each other again like its routine. More secrets. More laughter. More knowing, less thinking about future.

I come to this conclusion in a few days that I don’t know shit about love but I like this guy. He is hard to read. I would call him an ‘’emotionless encyclopedia’’ who knew everything in the world but was emotionally detached to humans. I somehow felt there was a soft side to him but at that point of time, he was into his friends, both male and female he would skype with them all day long and I couldn’t figure him out properly.

But yes, I felt like it was clumsy between us. I couldn’t properly flirt with him because he wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t talk dirty because he didn’t dig the dirty. I couldn’t get the sort of attention I wanted from this guy and it was turning me off , and one day out of my desperation of trying to get attention from im, I asked him out in the most childish way you can ever expect. The girl asks out the boy in between a normal conversation. We are talking generally about hookups and im like ‘’Wanna hookup?’’ he doesn’t type for a while and then he says ‘’Hookup? Like a relationship?’’ I say ‘’Yes?’’ he says ‘’Okay’’ and it began.

It began like the most simplest thing in the world but it began to eat us like a monster, it began as a sunset so calm after a long day. firey yet calming, it’s simple, it’s constant, but it grows to be that rush of adrenaline when you beat the odds, you feel on top of the world. You are powerful, and each glimpse of him you get, leaves you gasping for more, he is a breath of freedom in a sea of trouble. He begans to be my strength and my luck and my happiness and he ends up being my weakness, my love and my reason to be alive.

Who knew?

We make it official like its some kind of a serious relationship and we both knew It wasn’t. we knew it was gonna end in a few months or weeks or days, I just wanted attention from the guy who was emotionless, he just wanted to pass his time with someone who was 24/7 available to be his muse. We both were fucked up.

In a few weeks, we infact I realized he was not my type. Not at all. I was mistaken. I was into the sense of humor. There was nothing else he could give me. He could not praise me for anything, he could not compliment me no matter how hard I tried to look pretty in front of him,  never showed me that I meant something. We had long distance which obviously meant we never faced each other so it was harder. He once told me im not hot in any possible way and one day I ask him what is hot for you and he shows me a girl from his college and it humiliated me in the worst possible way when I receive a picture of that girl. I forget bullshit easily but this bullshit, I wish I could get rid of. He would sometimes prioritize his friends in front of me, he would tell me he’s sleeping but he would be talking to his friends, I used to feel like shit. I had never felt like that in my past relationships. I felt like I needed to be prettier, I felt ugly, I felt insecure, I felt like there was something more entertaining about his friends that I had to copy. We both would never agree upon the same ideas about life, we started having different views about things and the worst of all, after making me feel like shit, he would always be emotionless and laugh at me for being sad about it. He never used to get jealous even if I would go out with a million boys who looked good, he never used to question me and it started pissing me off to such an extent that I finally told him, ‘’I cant do this, you are emotionless’’

‘’But I was like this from the start’’ he says

‘’ I don’t know, All I know is I feel like shit when im talking to you. I feel like comparing myself to all these girls you talk to or you show me because I genuinely feel there is something wrong with me. I try to look good, I try to send you pictures of myself looking good but I cant beg for a compliment, I have never felt so degraded in my life, Adrian’’ I mumbled in my crying voice

‘’You tell me you’re sleeping and I see you online talking to a friend, I don’t care about the gender, its about the priorities and the lies, at least treat me like a girl friend when you’ve agreed upon a relationship’’ I continued

And then there was a long silence on that call. For the first time, this emotionless encyclopedia Adrian did not laugh about it. He apologized for it. And then we both agreed upon the fact that we are both too different and I told him I need to be fed with attention if im with someone and you’re a detached person, you don’t believe in feelings and all

‘’Listen’’ he said

‘’I fell In love once,

I gave everything to that relationship. I gave honestly, I gave loyalty, I trusted that girl and I trusted the fact that she is going to trust me back. I loved her like I wouldn’t love anyone in the world because she was the most innocent and the prettiest soul I had ever known but you know what she did? She trusted someone else who told her lies. She believed the lies and she called me a cheater. Imagine being called a cheater when you’re loyal to the one you lovel’’

I was silent. He was telling his side of the story for the first time. He was being serious for the first time. I didn’t say a word.

He continued ‘’ I tried to explain, but she didn’t. I was so heartbroken that I decided I would never have a serious relationship ever again. I would never fall in love with someone ever again, I would never trust a girl ever again, I used to take my frustration out in the gym, I ended up having muscles and packs and I would upload shirtless pictures of myself just to give myself some peace of mind, In anger and frustration, I showed her I could do what she blamed me for doing and I dated the same girl she blamed me for flirting with. Of course it didn’t work out because I never liked her in the first place but I wanted to destroy myself, I used to drink, I used to smoke, I fucked myself up completely until I moved on and ever since that, I have been in useless relationships with strange girls I don’t know completely but im cool with it because girls are not meant to be trusted. I do respect them, I don’t mess up with their respect and I don’t trust a girl when she tells me she is going to stay because these are all lies’’

I heard it all and now I knew 1/100 of Adrian’s life and I could never in a million years guess that this guy would be heartbroken by a girl.

We still ended the relationship over call because I had nothing to say, All I heard was this guy could never love anyone again and I felt defeated. I felt like ‘’What did she have that I don’t?’’

Yes I did stalk her after the call, and she was below average. Can you believe it that Im rating his ex’s looks after the sentimental story? I have to rate her because I expected the love of his life to be a gorgeous girl with the kind of hot looks he used of show me pictures of. One thing pretty clear was that this emotionless guy did not give a fuck about looks too much. He was not into choosing girls based on their appearance, He fell in love with someone so average. That kind of made me fall for him more even though I didn’t want to anymore because we broke up.

I had made my dear heart understand that stop trying to make him fall for you because he has done that already and he failed miserably. He doesn’t wanna try again clearly so lets just leave him alone.

But my dear heart didn’t understand shit

We don’t text for several days, It was our second month knowing each other and I get an apology.

‘’Im sorry for being like that’’ he says

‘’Im sorry for asking you for attention all the time’’ I replied

And it was kind of a patch up again.

And we are doing this lifeless relationship again, why?

God knew better and you will know later on, why I keep saying this again and again.

[russellthornton]

Uncertainty in a Relationship: The Hidden and Unexpected Dangers

Relationship uncertainty is a normal and exciting part of a relationship–sometimes. But they hold many reasons why it’s dangerous for you.

Uncertainty means you’re not sure where the relationship is going *if there’s a relationship at all*. Or you’re not sure if you really want the person you’re with to be your life partner or you just want companionship. Relationship uncertainty could also mean a person loves you a lot, but still leaves you feeling like you’re walking on eggshells all the time.

If we allow ourselves to list all the uncertainties that could possibly spring from a relationship, we’d be writing a book thicker than the Bible.

But uncertainties in a relationship don’t mean that person is wrong for you. If you gauge the potential of a relationship based on certainty, you would not get past the dating stage. Every person you date is not only getting to know their dates, they also get to know themselves and the relationship in the process. That is why it’s unrealistic to expect certainty when the relationship is still in the early stages. [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples go through]

Uncertainty in relationships

Uncertainty becomes unhealthy it when goes on for a long time *more than a year* and both parties are not talking about it or doing anything to push the relationship forward.

You might say “Well, it’s better than nothing. I have nothing to lose anyway.” But in reality, you do have a lot to lose. Here are some of the reasons why it’s dangerous to stay in a relationship full of uncertainty.

#1 Uncertainty can have a huge blow to your self-esteem. If you’re dissatisfied with the status of your relationship, you start blaming and feeling sorry for yourself. You question yourself. These questions haunt you and will be detrimental to your self-esteem.

Unless you manage your expectations and do something about your relationship, these toxic thoughts lead you to a downward spiral. You start to believe you are not deserving of the kind of love you want, so in effect, you just accept the things given to you.

You might not be aware of it. You are slowly trapped—a trap firmly meshed using your low self-esteem. This is very hard to cure. [Read: We accept the love we deserve: Why aren’t you worthy?]

#2 Zero accountability. If you feel uncertain about your status as a couple or have not talked about your roles and limitations, it’s easy for either of you to not be accountable for the well-being of the other. Rules were not set so technically, neither of you is responsible for each other’s lives.

If you experience a rough time, should you demand they visit you so you’ll share your troubles or would that be too much? If you lost your job, should you expect the other person to pay for your bills? The lack of certainty in a relationship is beneficial only to the one who wants a carefree life. They get to enjoy the good times but bail out on the bad.

You can’t demand for the big stuff and that fact slaps you in the face in the most desperate times. You might get knocked up, and then what? [Read: 12 signs you’re walking on eggshells in your love life]

#3 Realizing we don’t love them after all. To some of us, we find it challenging the person we adore is hard-to-get and unpredictable. They are hot one minute then extremely cold the next. It drives us crazy but we love it! We are then on a mission to make the other person fall head over heels in love with us.

We play their game because we’re so in love with the chase. Once all the chasing and drama ends, we might not like the person after all.

If the uncertainty prolongs, the chase prolongs, too, thus delaying the time we get to know the person on a deeper level. Imagine if you realize this after you had your wedding. That would be one big, expensive, life-changing whoops for you. [Read: 18 emotions you should never feel in a happy relationship]

#4 The chance of meeting the right person is greatly minimized. Even though you have plenty of uncertainties in your relationship, you don’t want to date other people. You are still hopeful things turn out right and it’s against your principles to see other people when you’re with someone.

This limits your chances of meeting other eligible life partners because they are too scared to approach you knowing you are with someone. You automatically turn down dates because you’re with someone else. You don’t make yourself more presentable for others. Imagine the regret if you say no to a person you truly adore just to stick to an uncertain relationship that eventually ends. [Read: Right person, wrong time? The key to timing it all right]

#5 Chronic stress. Being in an uncertain relationship makes us feel lonely, tired, and generally unhappy. Sure, you laugh a lot and enjoy each other’s company, but if you experience uncertainty in your relationship that has not been addressed for too long, then you find yourself conflicted. You enjoy each other but the fact the relationship isn’t moving forward keeps you up at night.

You get giddy reading her sweet poems for you but when you see her talking to her ex, you feel the need to punch a wall. Having uncertainty in a relationship makes you emotionally stressed and unstable. There are times you’d even start to question your sanity.

If you feel insecure in your relationship for more than a year, it greatly affects your body as well as your mind. Either do a lot of meditation or confront the issues. [Read: How to tell if your flirtationship is heading nowhere]

#6 Your life plans become uncertain too. You want a wedding, three kids, and a nice beach house, but your partner cringes every time you talk about it. We all have plans, yet when you are in an uncertain relationship, they became part of our lives. We accommodate them fully to the point we tweaked our life plans.

We integrate our life plans with their life plans because, of course, we want to be together with them in the future. This “integration” affects us in every aspect of our life from the kind of career we try to build to the kind of shows we watch on TV.

However, if the relationship is uncertain, our life plans become uncertain, too. And isn’t that just so tiring? [Read: 16 signs you’re settling in a bad relationship]

#7 One day you realize you wasted a decade waiting. We’re not getting any younger, yet we believe things will turn out fine. Optimism and unconditional love are wonderful traits. But if you find yourself waiting for a long time for things to happen, things to change, things to finally settle so you become one solid couple in a stable relationship, maybe it’s time to be selfish. Yes, you read that right.

Tell your partner what you really want. Ask them if you’re on the same page. You should get your answers and be level-headed in dealing it.

If you still feel uncertain in your relationship even after you talked things through, ask yourself if you’re willing to wait more. Bear in mind there’s still no guarantee even if you choose to wait.

[Read: How to save your relationship: 16 practical ways to make it]

We can’t be fully certain of how things turn out in our relationships. If the uncertainty is caused by the other person and it affects you greatly, then it’s important to do something about it using a timeline that’s fair for both parties.

The post Uncertainty in a Relationship: The Hidden and Unexpected Dangers is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.