#ALSO when halo 5 came out and everyone said 'we just want to play as chief'

[thelvadams]

kind of annoying seeing people complaining about a lack of halo spin-offs when the general audience wouldn't give halo wars 2 it's deserved praise when it first released but i digress

[starsdailyjournal]

Journaling for my mental health as an epic scene girl (not clickbait) Day 1!

Today (sunday) I woke up at like 12:44 am or pm idkkkk but it was when the sun was up and like my dad had asked me to call him and since I have like ptsd I tweaked out but I brushed my teeth first because like I'm trying to get myself into the routine of doing that now. Anyway I called him and he just wanted me to like make my sister breakfast and put the food we made in the fridge but like he rlly freaked me out by just texting me "Call me when you wake up.". And he said he was getting us pizza which is now one of my least favorite things to hear from him (because of the c-a-l-o-r-i-e-s and because I'm really bad at expressing grattitude to him since we are sorta close (he is my bio dad I've known him all my life its complicated). But anyway I made my lil sister (10 yr old nerd) an awesome omelet with mozerela and sausage slices AND a cheese crust idk how to explain it basically I put cheese in a pan after I made the omelet and when it was still melty and not hard I put the omelet I already made on it and the I folded the whole thing when the cheese was cooked!! I bet it was yummy idk tho but anyway after that I scammed someone on adopt me (l-o-l) for like an fr panda, r sloth and nfr or nr hydra they got 20k rh diamonds tho soooo yk its fine!!! I was gonna scam sum more but like I got stuck trying to figure out how to use razer cortex (because royale high is so laggy on this dumb laptop) and I was stuck on that for hours legit untile dinner!! but while I was stuck on that my dad came home and gave me some chocolate which was nice but it also sucked because I CANT express grattitude its rlly hard for me bc I'm too grateful that I feel like if I tried to put into words the gratuity I feel I would spaz. BUT anyway I haven't eaten the chcolate yet (also its dark chocolate and if u dont fw dark chcolate ur ai generated) but I did eat 2 slices of this rlly oily garlic pizza for dinner just now! it was gross and I lowk cant stand that it's in my system (iykyk) but I can't do nun abt it BUT I am starting my fast rn and it should last this whole week!! So that'll make up for this but erm IDK ahhahahaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't like talking abt eating but this is an honest journal... Should I add TWs?? Bc I rlly dont wanna I be sleepy at night which is when I'll be typing these out. Omgeee also like I've wanted to go back to being quarantine level chronically online 4ever now bc I love doing that in the summer but my dad has parental controls on all my stuff (including this laptop) so I cant go on disboard n stuff to find online friends to give me entertainment n stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!! but I FOUND A WAY YALL!! I'm just gonna be ROBLOX chronically online tho I am a robloxian already (since 2018) I want to be one of those ppl who are always on it yk (thats why I was scamming today n trynna unlag royale high) SOOO when I'm not studying I'm gonna be scamming and trading in royale high and adopt me!!! Maybe I'll try n make sum friends but rn I'm focused on the games I'm already planning on getting my dp from starpets n I have a decent halo + ltbs on rh n all my dream stuff besides 1 set n 2 accesories!! so like I'm prettyyy good but I wanna get REALLY good like those ppl who have 5 owls and 8 parrots lolz! And I literally love roblox and everyone who plays it (besides anyone with brainrot humor ironic or unironic idc) everyone else are so cool!!! So like yea and I have 30 dollars that I'm prob gonna use on robux I might try n get headless bc my mom pays me to do computer science courses and my dad pays me half of whatever my mom pays me!! Honestly I feel like journaling is sm fun rn i love talking but nobody ever listens screaming into the cyber void is so fun!!! Also I'm gonna likeeeee eat my chocolate after I shower rn probs and then my fast starts!!! ALSO omg halloween is coming up!! I'm def gonna be a vampire! If anyone enjoyed my journal tell me what your gonna be for halloween!! Omg if my journal/blog gets big I would call the ppl who read it bats!! that would be sosososo cooool ANYWAY FOLLOW ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gummybear1178]

F-14 (Family of 14) Chapter 6: Air to Air

Chapter 1:

Chapter 2:

Chapter 3:

Chapter 4:

Chapter 5:

Also on AO3:  

This one can be read as a stand alone

Hope you guys enjoy! If you want on the taglist let me know! (See guys I am learning Tumblr)

Not fully sure where this story is going other than it will be IceMav and their 12 adopted dagger squadron kids!

The dagger squad is determined to find out who Maverick is married to, leading to some shenanigans and eventually the reveal! Followed by one shots featuring MavDad Icemav and Dadmiral with the Daggers!

Feel free to leave requests and ideas

"I have a new training planned for today, something that is prevalent in many missions, yet is rarely gone over. The spare." Maverick introduced their topic for the day.

Many intrigued looks crossed the faces of the aviators. Hangman, looked down for a split second before flashing his cocky grin on his face.

"In the two of the most insane missions of my career, both of them were highly dependent on the spare. It happened in other cases, but these two stand out. The most recent one being the Uranium mission. You are all aware of the part the spare played."

"This is still your savior speaking." Hangman snarked out, a cocky look on his face.

The aviators rolled their eyes as Maverick continued.

"However, the other mission was my first after Top Gun. I was the spare, the other plane with Ice and Slider had been forced to eject. So, they sent me. The difference between being on the mission from launch and being the spare is time. When you are start from launch you are already with your squadron, you will arrive at the same time and see what they see. As the spare, time is against you as you race to get to them. You are pushing to get there as fast as you can while also taking in all the information you have yet to see but can hear over coms. Time is everything for the spare."

A grim look was on many of their faces, thinking of how close they came.

Hangman never flinched, keeping his impressed look on his face. Everyone knew, that he knew he was good, and he proved it then.

"As such, we will be launching hops today, you will each take turns as the spare, however you don't know when you will be the one launched. I will be relaying instructions to the other pilots on the scenarios and how to play them out. As the spare you will be waiting until you are ordered to get there and take in the scenario at hand. Those not in the sky will be potential spares, you never know when it will be you."

Maverick nodded,

"Alright, everyone get into your flight suits and meet me on the tarmac."

---

Jake knew he was good, he was too good to be true.

And that was the truest statement he ever said. He was too good to be true.

"This one oughta be easy for you, huh Hangman. Gonna show us up with your skills as a spare." Halo teased.

"You know it, I've already proven my abilities as a spare. As we all know, I am good-"

"Too good to be true, careful Hangman, you are becoming predictable." Rooster teased.

"Please, you never know what I going to do next, unless of course it's to do with success."

"I don't know, you were predictable enough to where you earned your call sign."

"Not on the last mission, I have to mix it up once and while, other wise you would all get bored."

"Did you mix it up, or was that just luck?" Phoenix smirked.

The whole squadron was a lot closer after the mission, but they still thrived on teasing one another. If they weren't messing with each other, were they really themselves.

"Careful Phe, one day you may need your savior speaking in your ear."

"Thanks for the promotion Hangman." Bob smiled.

"Bobs proven he has my back Seresin, have you?"

They had teased one another about this for years, but something felt different to Jake this time.

---

Maverick knew he needed to test something, and he needed it to be done during training, not during a mission. The uranium mission was like no other and it would have an effect one those who flew it. It would have an effect even on those who didn't fly it, but trained for it.

He began sending them up a few at time, having them relay the information as the attackers came into play, before declaring a spare to come in.

It played out fairly smoothly, with each spare racing to them and coming in to assist. Each time being questioned on what they should expect as they approached.

Everything was fine, until it came time for the one Maverick was worried about.

"Phoenix, Bob, and Rooster, you head up." Maverick ordered. "I want you to simulate the mission, 1 on 1 dogfight."

They replied an affirmative in their comms.

"Phoenix, you will be the bogey. I want you to try and take down Rooster, but don't take them down. You will run out of fire power, the spare will come in when you are low. Leave it to the kill for the spare to complete. Phoenix, I want you to attempt take down but don't actually complete it. Wait until spare arrives. Then you can take them down or not."

And they were off.

"Low on fire power, out of missals and only a handful of bullets." Rooster relayed over the comms after a short while. "I need back up or I will go up in flames or have to eject.

"Hangman you are the spare, go." Maverick ordered.

Now was the time to see if Maverick was right to worry.

Maverick watched Hangman closely through his canopy.

He saw his face freeze, just for a second. A flash of fear crossed his face before it hardened once more and he went for take off.

Maverick watched carefully as he took flight, he took off perfectly and was off.

He waited for the confirmation that Hangman had arrived and too out the bogey, before hearing that they were returning to base.

"Alright everyone, head to the classroom for debrief after you change out of your flight suits." Maverick ordered and watched those still in their planes on the ground hop out and head inside.

Maverick waited though. He watched as Phoenix and Bob landed, then Rooster, then Hangman.

He waved at the first three as they went to change. Then walked up to the final jet as it taxied into it's spot. Through the glass of the canopy, Maverick could see what he feared would happen.

He waved away all the post flight crew there to check over the jet.

"Come back in a bit." Maverick ordered, they nodded.

He climbed up the stairs to the jet and opened the canopy.

"Hangman, hey I need you to breath with me." Maverick spoke softly.

His eyes were wide and frazzled. His breathing erratic.

"Seresin, Jake." Maverick spoke again.

Jake's head snapped to look at him.

"Hey, kid, I need you to match my breathing alright. In... Out..." Maverick took Jakes hand and squeezed it for in and released for out. After a few rounds Jake began to squeeze back in sync with Maverick.

"Good kid, good. Just breath. You are in your cockpit, you are back on base at Miramar, everyone is safe, you are safe."

"Bradley-" Jake choked out.

"Bradley is fine. He is inside changing. "You saved us on the mission. You took down the bogey."

Jake flinched at the last line.

"Hey, can you stand up and get out of the jet?" Maverick asked carefully, noting his reactions.

Jake nodded, he didn't trust his voice.

Maverick stepped back and held out an arm helping Jake out of the cockpit.

"Good, now kid, we are going to go down the stairs. Just hold onto me and the rail."

"Don't- Want anyone to see me." Jake whispered out.

"Alright, we are going to my office, okay?"

Jake nodded.

Once they were on the tarmac he guided Jake to his office. Making sure to avoid coming in to contact with anyone knowing it would not help Jake in the slightest.

"Alright," Maverick said closing the blinds to his office and guiding jake to the small couch in his office. "How are you feeling now?"

"Better."

"That's good. Are you ready to tell me what happened?"

Jake looked down.

"Alright, I will tell you what I think happened. Feel free to stop and correct me at anytime."

Jake nodded, his hands clenching into fists as he continued to try and breath evenly.

"You heard Rooster over comms, you could hear the similarities of this and the mission. You were trying to force yourself to only pay attention to now and block out what did happen. Then you head your name called for spare, you went straight into a bit of flashbacks but pulled yourself out convincing yourself that you had to go help now or Bradley wouldn't make it. You pulled it together and made it there, completed the objective then headed back. You put all of your focus into flying the plane, pushing everything else to the back of your mind, but as soon as you landed to plane and didn't have anything else to focus on it came rushing through your defenses. You were reliving the moment over and over again, but sometimes it was a little different, a series of what ifs?"

"Pretty spot on there."

"I know, because I've been there. Look Jake, I sent you up as the spare for that simulation for this specific reason. I knew it could very possibly be a trigger, and I needed you to experience it now and see how you react."

"I can't be grounded." Jakes eyes went wide as his head shot up and the words flew out of his mouth.

"I am not doing that. Otherwise you are fine flying, I sent you up there in a near identical simulation. We just need to work on your reaction to it. I know you need to fly, otherwise you will lose it. I need to fly or I lose it. You are a pilot through and through."

"Sir-"

"It's Mav right now Jake. No formalities."

"Mav, I don't know what to do, I'm fine, and then suddenly I'm not. It doesn't affect me in the air minus this one time, but at night..."

"At night when there is nothing but time to think and let your mind wander. No distractions." Maverick paused before giving a pointed look, "No personas to hide behind?"

Jake froze, he had kept his walls up so high and so strong, no one saw them for what they were.

"Jake, I saw through that the first day. Every pilot has to be atleast a little cocky, but you took it to a whole other level. Reminds me of someone else I know, and I know why they did it."

"Mav..." Jake trailed off.

"I won't make you go through that conversation now, just like I won't make you go through the air to air kill discussion now."

Jake's head snapped up again.

"I know you've never had someone who could understand what an air to air kill really feels like. I've seen your reaction every time someone brings yours up. However, now you know people who have gone through that. Who have dealt with it. We are here for you."

"Everyone celebrates it, but..."

"You still took a life, and everyone else is celebrating while you are having an internal crisis over taking a life even if it was to save another."

Jake nodded.

"Come by the house tonight. Just you. We will talk about all of this, and if you aren't ready to speak Ice and I can tell you how we have dealt with all of it. You are a part of the very small group of people left with air to air kills, and even fewer of those are still in the Navy. I have others who you can talk to too, but I figured Ice and I were a good start. I know therapists as much as they try can never understand what we do and what we go through."

"Thanks Mav, I'll be there." Jake agrees still looking down, his hands shaking but still attempting to wipe aware the tears he wasn't even aware he had spilt until one fell onto his hand.

Maverick pulled Jake into a tight hug, one Jake returned quickly, holding onto Maverick like he was a life line.

"You can also talk to Bradley about this, he knows how to handle panic attacks and nightmares. He can't relate on the same level Ice and I can about the specifics, but for the rest of it he can."

Jake shook his head.

"I know you two are getting closer, and he has been through a lot too, he really can help and understand a lot of it. He is your wingman, and that is a whole different kind of bond, I know you and Javy are close too, and he is also your wingman. You can have more than one wingman. Don't feel bad about it. Ice and I are wingman to a whole other level, but we have others we trusted that were our wingmen too, just not the same as each other."

"Thank you Mav." Jake said, making sure his words were clear.

"Alright, lets change and head to debrief before the others get into too much trouble after being left unsupervised and bored."

---

A tentative knock was heard at the front door of the Mitchell-Kazansky house.

Maverick opened the door with a soft smile at Jake.

"Hey kid," He greeted

"Hey Mav."

Ice walked in and took his place in his usual chair as Maverick guided Jake to the couch before taking his place on the couch seat closest to Ice's chair.

"I don't know how we are supposed to start this." Jake said softly, refusing to meet either of the other men's eyes.

"How about we start with you job as the spare on the mission, we can go from there." Maverick suggested.

"I just knew I had to fly as fast as I could to save Roo," Jake paused for a half a second before adding, "And you."

"Just as the spare should do, and you got there just in the nick of time." Maverick assured.

"And if I hadn't?"

"You did though." Maverick reiterated.

"But-"

"Jake," Ice spoke for the first time, "You can't live in a world of what ifs or buts. Trust me on that. It will just consume you and there will be nothing else left. You can't change the past for better or worse. In this case the better was the outcome. It won't always be, you can just do your best in each scenario."

"And what if my best isn't enough?" Jake asked, his tone going harsh and stiff.

"Then it's still not your fault because there was nothing more you could have done." Maverick assured.

"How can you know that though?"

"I did everything right when Goose and I went into the flat spin. Even the hearing committee declared there was nothing I could do. Has that stopped me from spending the every year since wondering if there was something I could have done to save my best friend and Bradley's father? No, but I can't live in that world, otherwise I would have lost it a long time ago."

"How do you escape that world?" Jake asked softly.

"Find something else to live for. I had to live for Bradley, Carol, and Ice. I had to live for them until I could live for myself again. It takes time, but you can get there. Sometimes it really is fake it til you make it. Sometimes it means stepping away, and other times it means taking a breath and throwing yourself in the deep end and seeing how you react."

"How did you do it?"

"I mix of several of those. I couldn't fly after the accident. Well I could, but no where near what I should have been able too. How did you put it? I was stuck on my perch and refusing to make a move. Everyone around me was pushing me to just suddenly be okay and fly like I always did. Only one person told me they were sorry it happened to me and expected nothing else from me. They were just there for me and they didn't care about if I stayed in the navy, if I flew again, or anything else. They just cared that I knew someone was there for me at that I could grieve."

"Who was it?"

"Ice."

Jake stared down at the floor. Taking in everything he had been told.

"That doesn't mean everything is better, I still have flashes back to that day and nightmares with varying scenarios, but it does get better. You have to let go of those what ifs. You succeeded on the mission, now you just have to keep on living."

Jake nodded solemnly, he knew his outcome was the best possible outcome, but that didn't change what could have happened, and what he did.

"Though I have a feeling that the possibility of not saving us isn't what really has you torn up. It's part of it, but most certainly not all of it." Ice spoke once more.

"It's my second time doing it, and it still feels..."

"bitter sweet, you saved people but you took a life to do it. Everyone is celebrating it and you still aren't sure how to feel about it. It's bitter because a life was lost, but sweet because you saved people you care about." Maverick answered, the look in his eyes was too raw for Jake to look at for long.

"Everyone wants to call you the hero and praise you, but you still took someone's life and have to know that to save your own people someone else lost their person."

"That harsh part of war and battles. Life is always lost. No death is meaningless, and sometimes the call has to be made, our people or theirs. It's an easy hard choice, we always save our own, but it will come with consequences."

"My first air to air kill, I saved my wingman, I landed back on the carrier and was met with the heroes welcome. Everyone crowded around me, cheering for me. The cheers followed me around the ship, to the mess hall, to the showers even, but my room was just silence. No cheers, no screams, just silence. All that there was left to hear was my thoughts, and the realization that I had killed someone. Everyone else was celebrating their death, and I was trying to figure out if I could mourn them. If I couldn't, what could I do?"

"I know kid, you are talking to the only other two people in the Navy who know what you are talking about. Air to air kills, you never even see them. They are so rare now a days, that when one happens it spreads like wild fire. Ice and I were on the front page across the country after our mission. Chatter spreads through the ranks-"

"And no matter where you go, everyone knows, your name become synonymous with air to air kill, with death."

"I saw you flinch when Phoenix mentioned it at the hard deck, there were still few enough people there for me to hear it. I also see the flash of emotion across your face when someone mentions it. You cover it up quick kid, but I know the look because I've had the look."

"I have a reputation to keep up."

"Yea I know, you are good, too good to be true." Maverick gave him a pointed look for the second half of the line.

"That seems to be more of a mantra for yourself than an answer." Ice said straight to the point.

"And if it is? Maverick said if you have to fake it til you make it."

"There is a difference of faking it and being crushed by it."

Jake looked down at the floor once more.

"I know the shields and walls you built there because I built my own." Ice reveals.

Jake's head shoots up at this new info.

"But your Iceman, a four star admiral, commander of the Pacific Fleet, Ice Cold No mistakes-" Jake stops abruptly realizing the meaning behind those words.

"Ice Cold, no mistakes. No one knows what I think or feel, and I make no mistakes. You a lot more like me and Maverick than you think. You have Maverick's flying style, but you've got my attitude and my shields."

"But you live up to those ideals?"

"Really?" Ice gave him a pointed look, "No mistakes?"

"When have you ever made a mistake?"

"During Hop 31 in Top Gun class of 86."

Maverick gave Ice a pointed look.

"I know Maverick, not my fault, doesn't change the mistake."

"What do you mean? Isn't that the hop where..."

"Where Goose died? Yes. No one ever asks whose jet wash they flew through. It was mine. I was determined to win the Top Gun trophy, because I was Iceman, the best of the best, and I needed to prove it. So I was trying to take down our instructor, I couldn't get the shot, Maverick was my wingman and insistent he had the shot, he told me to break left. I kept pushing I just knew I could get the shot, when I realized I couldn't I broke left. They flew through my jet wash."

"I told you that to get through it you have to know how you react to the situation if it happens again? On the mission after Top Gun, I flew through jet wash again on my way to help Ice. I almost left the fight entirely, because I freaked in the air after I recovered. You know I didn't but I wasn't so sure in that moment. I just knew I couldn't leave my wingman and I reengaged. That is why I sent you up today like that in the training. I needed both you and me to know how you would react if it happened again. You completed the objective, and didn't let it hit you until the mission was complete and you were safe on the ground. That's a good thing to know. You know how you reacted this time, and each time your reaction will get a little bit better. The haunting feeling will never leave you, but you get better with it over time."

"I wish we could give you a magical cure kid, but it's life, and life is never easy. No matter what façade you put up to try and cover it up."

"I don't know how not to live with that façade anymore. I've lived with it most of my life."

"I know kid, the pressures those around you and those who are connected to you are never easy. Maverick was always flying against his father legacy of treason, a false statement, and I always had to be perfect and never let anything phase me because that's how I was raised to be. My father was an admiral and he accepted nothing less than perfection. I don't know you back story for you façade and your pressures, but I know that they are there. If you ever want to talk about them, I am here."

"How do you escape it?"

"You let one person see through it at a time. Maverick saw through mine, and I let him see more. I started trying to stop holding up my walls and façade around him until I felt comfortable doing it and it became natural. From there I had others I let in. Slowly, at my own pace. That person can be one of us, as you are doing right now, or it can be someone else. That's how you start it."

"Thanks for this."

"Anytime kid. Let us know if you need anything, or anyone else."

Jake looked at Ice as he felt the hidden meaning behind the last words. He chose not to question further what the admiral meant by those words, choosing to play ignorant than hear the answer out loud.

.

.

.

Sorry it's been a while yall, my schedule fluctuates and I usually can't keep a consistent update schedule, it just depends.

I haven't seen anyone address this with Jake yet, and I have been wanting to so hear yall go, don't worry class of '86 is showing up soon, once they do any requests or hopes for when they do?

Let me know what yall thought!

[eveningstar1516]

Rise of the Demon King ~ Chapter 5

Rise of the Demon King

Fic: Multi Chapter Paring: MC x Everyone (Mostly Lucifer) Type: Angst with a Happy Ending Total Word Count: 26,758 TW: Major Character Death, Reader gets stabbed with a sword through their chest so…, Abusive Parents, Past Child Abuse, Demon Hunters, Loss of Control Summary: You’ve done it. You’ve finally done it. You’ve managed to anger the demon king. Now you hold your head high as he hands down your sentence. AO3 Portal: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27065362

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Previously:

Lucifer looked into my eyes muttering something in angelic before whispering, “I’m sorry…”

With tears burning his eyes he buried the sword deep into my heart.

“Thank you”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER 5 - Oblivion (1618 words)

“Y/N? Wake up Y/N”

Someone’s calling my name?

“Y/N, please wake up”

I awoke in a daze hearing a soft female voice calling out to me.

“Y/N, can you hear me?”

Slowly blinking awake, I realized that I was floating in some dark void. Upon looking around, I found the source of the voice. A young woman with long strawberry blonde hair and violet eyes was looking at me. Her white and purple dress was flowing freely around her. Her hair framed her face just right with a small leaf hair clip finishing her look. She spoke out again.

“Y/N, can you hear me?”

“Who are you?”

“Oh, thank goodness you can. Y/N, I am Lilith. Do you remember how you got here?”

I looked down at myself realizing that there is a gaping hole in my chest where my heart is supposed to be. Memories of the trial came flooding back to me.

“I-I was on trial. The king didn’t like the idea of me having pacts with all your brothers, so he ordered that I be killed. He, he tried to make Lucifer do it but he refused to kill me. I remember ordering your brothers not to interfere and to obey Lord Diavolo above the king, then I ordered Lucifer to kill me with his sword. He whispered something in angelic then killed me. I thanked him then nothing. It didn’t even hurt when he killed me, I just fell asleep.” Hugging myself as I remembered what happened, what I assume to be not 30 minutes ago. Lilith moved to wrap her arms around me.

“Shh, it’s alright now. When Big Brother killed you, he probably used his holy sword, that’s why you didn't feel anything, but if he did, you should have returned to Oblivion. Do you know what that is?”

Nodding my head, I recalled my Devildom history class. Oblivion was the start of the universe. All living beings were created from oblivion. Oblivion is the purple aura that surrounds someone when they perform a spell. It is the stuff used to manifest something via spell or curse. If harnessed right, it can also be used as an energy source.

“Big Brother probably muttered a protection spell which is why you are here instead of non-existent.”

“Where is here?” I asked while slowly releasing her from the hug.

“This place has no name, although I like to call it the void. In reality, that is all this place really is. It is where souls end up should they not have a final destination but don’t return to Oblivion. This only happens in special cases. It is the reason I have been able to watch over you and my elder brothers. This is where things get complicated. You were not meant to die yet and I didn’t have enough power to save you this time. You now have to make a choice, no matter what you pick, you cannot change the fact that you died, there is no cheating death a second time. I can make you a demon and send you to the Devildom, I can re-incarnate you into a new-born human although you will lose your memories, or I can send you to the Celestial Realm as a seraph. It’s your choice.”

“There is no way I would give up my memories of your brothers and the time I spent in the Devildom, and as much as I would love to return to the Devildom, there is no way I am going to serve that tyrant calling himself “King”. I also really don’t want to serve the other tyrant that has the audacity to call himself “Father”” Sighing I cradled my head in my hands weighing my two options. On one hand, I can return to the brothers and the one I love, but I will have to serve King Abandon and that’s if he doesn’t decide to kill me again as soon as he lays eyes on me. On the other hand, I could go to the Celestial Realm and hide out with Simeon and Luke, but I would have to bow down to their Father so as to not risk banishment from the Celestial realm, and that’s if he doesn’t cast me out on the spot, unless…

“I pick the Celestial Realm. As much as I dread serving Father, it’s my best option of seeing the brothers again.”

“Y/N, are you sure? I will be using up the last of my power, there is no going back after this.”

“I’m sure.”

“Alright.” Lilith took my hand and started chanting in angelic. A golden aura surrounded her as strings of light flowed out of her and into my chest and back, closing my wound and forming 6 pure white wings on my back. My clothing transformed into white and pastel blue garments. A small halo appeared over my head. I saw Lilith beam at me and say something although I couldn’t make out what she said as the darkness claimed me once more.

~In the Devildom~

(Lucifers POV)

Tears threatened to spill over as I carried out Y/N’s order. Why? Why did they make me do it?! They could have ordered me to pick them up and fly them away, I would have done it before the order even left their mouth. There is no way I could send them back into Oblivion. Without thinking, I drew the sword I swore I would never draw again. My Father had dubbed it “Starburst”, my holy sword. I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it after the fall, and now I’m glad I didn’t. I heard gasps from the crowd as I summoned the sword, the only demons having seen it were my brothers as well as Lord Diavolo and Barbatos. I fought against Y/N’s order long enough to mutter a small prayer for their soul, hoping that wherever Lilith was, she would hear and understand that I needed her help. Unable to fight the order any longer, I took one last look into their eyes and thrust the sword straight through their heart, my brothers screaming in the background. Holding Y/N’s body a little longer than normal, I heard their last words, “thank you”, then nothing. Y/N was gone, and I was the one who killed them. I didn’t have time to think about it as I felt a searing pain on the back of my left hand, turning over to face my brothers, I saw them each clutching a part of their bodies as we all felt the pact we each held with Y/N shatter. I gently laid down Y/N’s body and got up moving off stage before my tears spilled over signalling my brothers to do the same. Not acknowledging the king, we all turned and left, Diavolo and Barbatos following close behind. Asmo’s crying was all we heard as we walked towards the House of Lamentation, none of us wanting to be anywhere near the king. Upon entering, we all went our separate ways. Levi immediately retreated towards his room, the twins went to theirs. Satan went to the library. Asmo and Mammon both went into the direction of Y/N’s old room while Diavolo, Barbatos and I headed to my secret study. Now alone, I let it all out, my pride worthless now.

“It’s not your fault-”

“Isn’t it Dia?! I was the one that killed them! I wasn’t strong enough to fight them and now they're gone!”

“I noticed you muttering something before, you know. What was it?”

“It was a prayer to Lilith. I know she’s watching over us. I can only hope that she heard it and will help Y/N. I didn’t send them into Oblivion as he ordered but to where she is. That was all I was able to do.” Tears now streamed down my face clear as day as I leaned back into my chair looking up at the ceiling at the thought of my only sister and Y/N who has grown to be someone I would even call my lover. Barbatos put his hand on my shoulder to try and ground me.

“What now?”

“I don’t know Barb, I really don’t. My Father has control of the Devildom and now with Y/N gone, it will be a lot harder to continue with any of our plans. On the plus side, thanks to Y/N’s order, my word outranks my Father’s when it comes to you 7.”

“But the pact is gone. There’s no way any of their orders are still in play, right?”

“No, it is still very much there. I can still feel the lingering effects of an order. If it weren’t, we would have attacked the king as soon as the pact broke but Y/N ordered us not to interfere with the trial.”

We sat in silence, none of us wanting to break it, until Diavolo’s DDD pinged with a text alerting him and Barbatos back to the castle.

As they were leaving Diavolo pulled me in for a tight hug.

“I’ll make this right. I promise.”

Letting go, both demons left for the palace as I went to my room. Shedding my clothes, I bypassed pyjamas and laid in bed. Tears ran down my face as I thought about Y/N and all the precious memories we had made together. I rolled over and realized they left their Little D No.1 plushie here from their last sleepover. Clutching it, their scent strong on the plushie, I drifted off to sleep, hugging the Little D in my arms wishing it was Y/N instead.

[chongoblog]

Rank the Star Fox games

A couple notes before we get started is that I am not including the original Star Fox (since I STILL have yet to play it) or the 64 remake for the 3DS. I’m also now counting the Ubisoft game whose name I can’t remember. With that lets get rolling.

1. Star Fox 64. The GOAT. Honest to God best Nintendo 64 game bar none. This game has had such an effect on me that I can’t possibly articulate. Absolute gemstone. I will sing this game’s praises until the day I die, I have so so so so so so so so SO much love for this game. FUCK I love this game.

2. Star Fox Assault. Honestly underrated and a little overhated, mostly because it dropped around the time when Halo was big, so everyone was kinda sneering at it. It’s far from perfect, but between the fun multiplayer, the cool music, and the legitimately cool Aparoid storyline, I very much enjoy this one!

3. Star Fox 2. Despite never coming out until years and years later, it introduced a lot of cool concepts that would see use in the future installments like All Range Mode, Star Wolf, and Funny Chicken Mode. Also make Miyu and Faye canon you fucking cowards

4. Star Fox Adventures. Star Fox Adventures is not a Star Fox Game. If I’m being honest it absolutely should not have been made into one. Why? Because then we would have gotten Dinosaur Planet on the N64 with a legitimately cool system that had to get ditched. It would have been better tbh. But more importantly, I’m like 80% sure that if Crystal didn’t get put into the series as The Girl then MIYU AND FAYE WOULD BE CANON IM GOING TO GO FERAL SHIGERU HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! But that being said, even though it isn’t a Star Fox game, it’s still a pretty solid game. I like it. It’s pretty alright.

5. Star Fox Zero. Complex emotions on this one. While I do think that the hate that the Gamepad control style got was overdone (since I found it to be REALLY immersive and effective once I got the hang of it), there’s still a lot more about Star Fox Zero that felt disappointing. And every time I think about it, there’s a tiny voice inside of me saying “no come on you’re being too harsh on it! It’s really good and fun!!” but like.....then I remember what I can about it. It’s just a lackluster title.

6. Star Fox Guard. Why am I including this? It’s a weird FNaF-esque game that came free with Zero. Mostly out of spite. Because if this was included, for most people it would be at the bottom of the list. So let it be known that this should only bolster my opinions on

7. Star Fox Command. I first picked this up when I was in the peak of being a Star Fox fan, and I still couldn’t play it for more than twenty minutes. This was after I purchased it as a physical copy when I was, like, 11. I tried picking it up again almost ten years later and nope. I just can’t. The gameplay is all range mode only with a constant looming time constraint where you just pick off enemies in all-range mode. Star Fox 2 did the same, yes, but something about that one was just more fun. Maybe because it came out on the NES I was easier on it? But there’s a HUGE difference between how they feel. I can’t put my finger on it. On top of that, the multiple endings aren’t that bad. What SUCKS about them is the game drags you along one ending, locking certain paths completely until you do a different path first. I want to try this game again one day. MAYBE it’ll have grown on me, but I don’t have too much faith in that honestly.

[repentantsky]

The difference Between JRPG’s and WRPG’s, and why we should stop comparing them

If you’re like me, you love RPG’s of many different genre’s. Whether they cover fantastical realms like Skyrim and Final Fantasy, or more technologically advanced ones like Borderlands or Star Ocean. 

Like all genre’s most RPG’s of different genre’s also suffer from different problems because of tropes and reused settings that people can grow tired of, but talking about RPG’s from two different parts of the world, is a whole other problem. Japan for example, is mostly marketing itself to Western players, while Western RPG’s, are mostly marketing themselves to Western players...uh wait, why does that make them different? 

It’s all because of style choices. See, Japan like most countries, has a lot of traditions that make a lot of it’s products fairly same-y. As I said that happens with everyone, but Japan has to try harder with smaller series to get western appeal, which is required to have a successful selling game, unless it’s a mobile title, since those all do really well in Japan, because people can just game on their way to and from work. I digress, but Japan is so rooted in tradition, that you can watch an episode of Gigantor, the anime that is considered by many to be the first anime ever created, and Demon Slayer, and notice a lot of similarities in the way the characters are speaking, because Japan has always made their shows where actors talk like they would in real life, which isn’t always true in other acting platforms around the world, which of course means, this translates to video games. 

Specifically what it means, is that Japan has to hop a cultural barrier that Western games don’t, and they have to rely on a lot more tropes, because there are only so many ways to translate the same basic plot of a JRPG, for Western audiences, before things become too cliché. A lot of RPG’s are successful in doing this, like the aforementioned Final Fantasy, and other JRPG’s are coming through with successful games to, like Fire Emblem. Persona and Shin Megami Tensei, Atelier, and several others. All of the games coming through lately, lead people to believe that JRPG’s are a thriving genre in the west, but that’s not really true. 

If you were to ask any random person what the most successful JRPG of all time was, a lot of people would probably think of a Final Fantasy game, but not even Final Fantasy 7, has come close. In fact the only JRPG that even made it to the top 10 best selling games ever, is Pokemon Red/Blue/Green/Yellow as a collective, with four different versions. The next best selling one is Pokemon Gold/Silver/Crystal, and in fact, only 11 of the top 49 best selling games of all time, are RPG’s, and all of the JRPG’s are Pokemon titles. Final Fantasy 7 has still been wildly successful, as the original has sold over 11.8 million units, and the remake over 5 million, but the fact of the matter is, that even though RPG’s as a whole are the biggest genre of the top 49, the few that made it are exceptions to the rules. In fact, of the top 10 best selling games of all time, 6 of them are by Nintendo. The other 5 excluding Pokemon, are Wii Sports, Super Mario Bros. Mario Kart 8/Deluxe, Wii Fit/Plus and the original Gameboy version of Tetris, which itself is on there twice because EA’s version is number 3. so you’re actually better off in Japan, not making a JRPG. 

There’s a lot more that can be gleamed from looking at the list, so you can check it out here if you want: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_video_games 

The point is that JRPG’s, aren’t always as successful as people think they are. I mean sure, you don’t have to be on the top best selling games list to be successful, but Persona 4 Golden on PC is considered a massive success for selling only just over a million units since it’s release, and the Tales of Series, which is one of the longest running in gaming, as recently as April of this year, had it’s sales numbers made public, and Tales of Symphonia, the undeniable Final Fantasy 7 of the series, sold a total of 940,000 units in the United States, and the game, easily the most successful title from Tales of, only managed 2.4 million in total. None of this is to say, that JRPG’s are struggling, because most of the ones I brought up are shining examples that they aren’t, but going back to that top 10 list, Minecraft and Grand Theft Auto V,  just the top two of that list, have sold 345,000,000 total units. That not only beats the entire mainline series of Pokemon, it’s only about 2.5 million short extra, of beating the original 151′s total sales, with how many spare units the two games over Pokemon’s  300,000,000 million total sales mainline games, which means likely, the two of them will beat the series out at some point in the future. 

Western RPG’s, don’t often suffer from as many problems, because they don’t have a border to hop, and it shows with Elder Scrolls, which has sold 58 million total copies with only five mainline games, and 30 million of those came from Skyrim alone. It took Pokemon, the undisputed champion of JRPG sales, 20 mainline games to reach 300 million, which means arguably, by the time Elder Scrolls reaches it’s 10th installment, it will have caught up to Pokemon’s first 20 games total sales. Borderlands, which is arguably the Tales of to Western RPG’s in most people’s eyes, has actually outsold Elder Scrolls with only 4 mainline entries, one of which is considered bad by many, with a total of 60 million total units sold. The better comparison, surprising for many I’m sure, for a Tales of comparison, is actually Fallout, which has sold 13.51 million units, to Tales of 23.5 million units. 

Enough about numbers for a few minutes, 3 paragraphs about it is a bit much, but the fact of the matter is, Japan struggles more overall to make successful RPG’s in the West, than the West does in the West, and it’s all due to how much of a challenge it is to hop that border. 

Outside of sales numbers, the other major difference between JRPG’s vs Western RPG’s is how they are classified. Generally, when someone thinks of a JRPG, they think of a fantasy world, with leveling, where rare items can be won off bosses, but your main way of improving stats is to level up, and have enough money to buy the best equipment at each new town you enter with a shop. However, a lot of games have been getting that label slapped on them by their marketing teams or fans, and some of it is just wrong. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is one such game, despite the drops from enemies being the only correlation between BoTW and JRPG’s. The correlation was made by fans, which might seem like an innocent mistakes, and in fact could be nothing but that, but then there’s Monster Hunter, which actually does have two JRPG’s attached to it, in the Stories 1 and 2 games, but who took the reigns of JRPG to market, calling Monster Hunter World, a JRPG. despite it having few differences from other Monster Hunter action games, outside of having a story, and having nothing more to do with JRPG’s than Zelda. A lot of fans of Japanese games will classify simply playing as a fake character an RPG, which normally would be fine, but in games, that’s not how genres are defined. If that were the case, all of Yakuza’s games would be JRPG’s, instead of just Like a Dragon, and in fact most games would be RPG’s, and they obviously aren’t. Bubsy 3D RPG anyone? No? Ya sure? Yeah I didn’t think so.   

The west has the exact opposite problem of under classifying it’s games as RPGs. While sure, you wouldn’t call Halo an RPG, unless you know, Master Chief was shooting an RPG, you absolutely should call Ratchet and Clank one. Think about it, your main playable characters all have HP, most of them have weapons that can level up, and the action setting of these games, basically should make Ratchet, a response to Level 5′s Dark Cloud series, which did all the same things for combat. However, it’s just seen as series of action games, despite it also being a lot like Borderlands. 

The point is, there are a lot of things that differ JRPG’s and WRPG’s from sales, to marketing, to style and so many other factors, I would run out of characters available to me, before I get through them all. There’s nothing wrong with these genre’s being different, but people classifying them as similar, could harm either since they don’t often jell that well together. So please, think before you compare, and for those rare RPG’s, where you can’t tell the difference, makes sure you find out where they were developed, because a lot of games you might think are JRPG’s, could in fact be Korean or Chinese. 

[jokers-of-the-impractical]

Brian Quinn Mini Series “Don’t You Remember?” Part 1 of 3

(A/N: Woohoo! Part 1 is here! All three parts of this mini series are based on Adele songs, the titles of these songs will also serve as the title of the chapter. Also trigger warning: some swearing, minor counts of abuse, and miscarriage. Enjoy!)

Word count: 3000ish?

As I took one last look in the mirror and smoothed my hair down. I embraced in seeing my reflection in the mirror, it has been so long since I had looked anywhere close to decent, let alone actually dressing up with my hair, nails, and makeup done for an event. I sharply let out a deep breath that I didn’t know I was holding in and reminded myself to have an amazing time tonight. I was walked out of my bathroom and into my bedroom I looked around to see all the progress I had recently made in the past month or so. My bedroom was no longer littered with empty food containers, dirty clothes everywhere, and most importantly I was no longer a wreck that was either huddled up on the floor curled into a ball, only moving to my bed, the kitchen, or the bathroom. Remembering the last year and the hell I had endure I never thought I would be okay again. I stopped the thoughts that were pooling in my head, tonight was about me and my life, I was not gonna spend any more time thinking about my stupid ex boyfriend and havoc he wreaked on my life. Besides tonight I was going to see the celebrity that I wanted to be my boyfriend in real life so that made me beyond thrilled. I was taken out of my day-dream by the sound of my phone notifying me that my Uber was a minute away,  I gave my cat a few pets and a kiss on the head before I got in my Uber and began my journey to the venue.

As I was dropped outside of the venue I saw the giant sign lighting up with the four friendly faces that were the event. Sal, Murr, Joe, and Q all with the biggest smiles with tonight’s date in big letters. I could barely contain my excitement as I got in line. I smoothed my black jumpsuit and waited eagerly to get inside. I looked around to see what other people chose to wear and I was nervous. A lot of people came in t-shirts and shorts and there I stood with my hair curled, with a cat-eye and deep red lipstick, dark painted nails, and in a skin-tight black jumpsuit with a sheer netting top with two lace appliques on the chest with a nude camisole layered underneath, it was topped off with my favorite opal halo ring, stud earrings, my nose ring, and finally my black vans. I decided to heck with it! I love this outfit and that is all that matters. Soon, I got up to the front of the line got my ticket scanned and went inside to find my seat. Not long after sitting and waiting the stage lights lowered and the venue erupted with screams and applause as the Jokers entered the stage.

 The show was a blast! It was filled with so much silliness and laughter, and meshed into an enjoyable blur as I found myself exiting the venue and waiting near their tour bus. I had done this so many times after concerts that I hoped that maybe I’d get to at least see them up close in person. While I waited with the ten or so other people that had the same idea. I chatted with the roadies and other various crew that were outside, just because they weren’t famous didn’t mean they were any less cool, so I talked them about cool stories from tours they’ve done and any other topics that came up. After standing out there for what felt like hours, the jokers came out of the venue and the other people pushed and shoved past me trying to get photos and autographs from the guys. I was beyond star-struck to see the four guys who unknowingly gotten me through so much recently that I froze in place. I felt my hand slip into my bag and clutch on the envelope I had in there. I was in awe seeing them like a few feet in front of me. But I also realized when everyone else pushed past me I was now at the back of the line. I mean don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled to see them not through a TV screen but part of me hoped that I would be able to give Q the letter I wrote him in person. Seeing how after his horrible love life he was still able to find joy and bring it to others as well inspired me and played a huge part in helping me get over the nasty breakup I went through with my ex Dean. I stayed at the back listening to them talking to the fans and answering questions and debated leaving seeing as there was no way I was going to get to talk to Q. As I was about to turn around and leave Sal spoke up,

“Hey what about you back there standing all by your lonesome?” I looked around, surely he couldn’t be talking to me. “Yeah you! In the black jumpsuit.” Oh my God, he is talking to me. He motioned me to come over, and had the group of fans make a path for me. I gently shuffled to face the Jokers, I could barely breathe and I was practically shaking with excitement. There before were the Impractical Jokers. I took a brief moment and glanced at each one of them, Q last of course because he had always been my favorite. When I looked at his facial expression, I couldn’t quite place it. I had never seen him make that face on the show before.

“What’s your name?” Joe asked.

“I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you guys.”

“Hey Y/N! It’s nice to meet you too, is there anything we can do for you? A picture, an autograph?” Murr asked with his bright smile never fading

“I mean I would love a picture, but I don’t want to keep you guys too long. I mean I’m traveling to your show tomorrow night too, so it’s not a big deal or anything.” I saw Sal nudge Q once or twice on the arm before Joe finally spoke up. “Oh of course! Don’t worry you’re not taking up too much time or anything we love you guys!” I beamed a ginormous smile when he said that and asked one of the other fans to take a photo of all four of us and thanked them as they handed me my phone back. Now, I knew it was now or never that I had to give Q the letter so I piped up again.

“There is one more thing! If that’s okay?” I know they had just said it was, but I still wanted to check. Now, Joe tapped on Q. Huh, he was really shy in person, he didn’t speak a single word since I’ve been up here.

Sal smiled and was the one to answer this time, “Heck yeah, what can we do for ya Miss Y/N?” As soon he asked, he looked back at Q and I heard a small exasperated sigh.

My hands got shaky again as I reached into my purse and pulled out the letter sealed in an envelope and addressed to Q. “Um here, Q. I have this letter I wrote you and I was hoping to give it to you in person.” As soon as I said his name Q’s eyes darted to mine. He took it from and paused for a second. The whole world seemed to be silent in that moment.

Finally I heard Brian Quinn speak, “is it okay with you if I read it now, like not out loud or anything. I just want you to be here when I read it.” I felt a blush rise to my cheeks, never did I think I would be standing in front of Brian Quinn as he read my story about my horrible ex boyfriend who broke my heart and left me during some the of worst parts of my life to be faced alone. Just a year ago I was sure I was gonna marry Dean, that he was it. But instead he chose to flirt with my best friend, cheat on me, and claimed I was lying when I told I was pregnant after I got fed up and left him. He still thought I was lying when I told him the stress he caused me resulted in a miscarriage. Through the whole breakup (and most of the relationship too) Dean had me convinced that everything that happened was my fault and I should have been grateful to have him be willing to date me in the first place. The only thing that got me out of a year long slum of sadness and heartache for the Dean I used to know and the child I had lost was watching Impractical Jokers, they were the people that taught me to smile and laugh again. Because of them I went back to work teaching elementary school and finding happiness and joy in the little things. I nodded my head to Q that he could read it now. Before them, I used to look back at the relationship begging Dean to remember why he loved me before, but they helped me realize I deserved more.

I watched him open the envelope, take out the multipage letter and begin to read it. I could tell when he was getting into all the gory details of my breakup by the way his face showed sadness, and then anger. The guys kept watching him, trying to figure out what was going on in the letter. Finally, as he was getting to the end I saw a small smile on his face. He put the letter back in the envelope and said in a shy voice, “could hang around for a few minutes after everyone else has left? I wanna talk to you about this, but I also wanna make sure everyone gets their photos and stuff.”

“Sure, I could do that.” I let a giggle. After everyone else left, the first thing Q did was hug me. My brain was on fire! My celebrity crush was hugging me? AHH!! OMG YES! It was no measly hug either, it was a giant bear hug, he enveloped me and we stayed like that for a few moments. Finally we pulled away.

“Hey, if this isn’t too forward, what are you doing right now?”

“Umm. Nothing? I was just gonna go home, get ready for tomorrow’s show and go to bed.”

“Would you like to get some food with us? I know a really good 24-hour diner that we’ve gone to when we’ve toured here before.” Okay this had to be a dream, or you hit your head on your ceiling of Uber and are hallucinating right now. There was no way this was happening!

“I would love that!” And with that you and the guys piled into a sleek black SUV and made your way to the restaurant.

 On the way there you heard Sal mutter to Joe and Murr, “Geeze this guy practically can’t speak to her cause he thinks she’s so pretty, and now he’s inviting her out to food not 5 minutes later. What is up with him!” Joe and Murr exchanged glances and giggled. They both knew what this feeling was, it was what Joe felt with Bessy and Murr with Melyssa. Wait, he thinks I’m pretty? At the diner, you enjoyed the company of all the guys, with your permission Q divulged into the contents of the letter. By the time it was over Sal was hugging you and practically bawling, Murr was in shock and didn’t know what to say, and Joe was ready to hunt Dean down and kill him. You insisted you were okay and asked to spend the rest of the evening focusing on happy stuff. When it was time to go, Q had you put your phone number in his phone and he did the same with yours. As you were about to order an Uber to take you back home, Q grabbed your hand.

“This might sound crazy... But since you’re a teacher you don’t work tomorrow right?”

“Tomorrow is Saturday so no I do not have work tomorrow.”

“Awesome, so why don’t you come with us on the tour bus to the show tomorrow? It’s so far from here I would hate to think of the travel time it would take you tomorrow.” That really threw you off guard. Brain Quinn wants me to go with him and his buddies on their tour bus, overnight? The other guys chimed in and agreed with him. You thought it over for a moment, ya know what? Why not! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!

“Sure! I’m down!” They all cheered but then a groan left my lips. “Shoot, but what am I gonna wear? What about the smeared makeup I’ll wake up with?”

“Don’t worry we’ll get that taken care of, Bessy and Melyssa are coming tomorrow so I’m sure they can grab some yoga pants and makeup remover on the way. And plus we have tons of merch shirts so you could take one!” Wow, he really thought of everything didn’t he. 

-THE NEXT EVENING-

Bessy and Melyssa were super sweet! Sure enough they came with makeup wipes and some really cute yoga pants that went really well with the tour shirt. I was invited to watch backstage with them and I happily agreed. As the guys were about to go on-stage I heard Sal, Murr, and Joe whispering about some prank punishment they were going to pull on Q at the end of the show. Occasionally, they’d look over at me and then go back to plotting so quietly I couldn’t hear them. Again tonight the show was amazing and funny! These guys just had such amazing chemistry with the audience and each other. Finally it was the end of the show when Joe piped up.

“Before we end for the night, we have a surprise addition to this performance, don’t we boys?” He looked over at Murr and Sal, Q looked around confused.

“Oh that’s right Joseph!” exclaimed Sal, “We have something special planned. And for this, I’m gonna need my buddy Q to go stand in the middle of the stage alone.” Q looked over the guys still wondering what was going on, then he briefly looked at me and then made his way to the middle of the stage.

Murr spoke next, “Joe, Sal, and I thought it would be fun to do an impromptu live punishment on Q. Does that sound good?” Q groaned and the whole crowd cheered. A live punishment how cool! I wondered what they have in mind.

But as soon as Sal started explaining the punishment I tired to put the pieces together. “Ya see,” Sal began, “Very recently Q has become friends with a girl that he finds very very pretty.” Q’s eyes went wide and the crowd continued to scream.

Murr continued “Yup! Just last night, after she fell asleep he could not stop going on about how he thinks he fell in love at first sight, and then after spending hours talking to her, he knew he was sure!” Huh? Did he meet someone else last night? Huh I’m not surprised he’s a chick magnet and amazing.

Joe followed “So we’re gonna need her to come out here right now to do this punishment. Come on out Y/N!” My jaw dropped. Brain thought I was pretty and thought it was love at first sight yesterday! Before I knew what was happening Bessy and Melyssa were leading me to the middle of the stage. Where I was placed right next to Q and the crowd went wild.

The boys asked in unison, “Q are you ready for your punishment?” He looked at me with a shy smile, gulped and then nodded his head. “ASK Y/N ON A DATE!!!” they screamed at the top of their lungs. The noise of the audience was now deafening. Joe came over and handed Q a mic. Then Brain turned to face me, his cheeks the brightest color of red.

“Uh,” he started out. “Hi Y/N.” I was then handed a mic too by Murr.

“Hi.” He leaned in and took a closer look at my face.

“Wait this is you without makeup?” He motioned to my face as he asked.

I nodded my head “yup.”

“Wow, you’re even more beautiful than yesterday. So uhh. Would you like to go on a date with me?” I didn’t even say anything I just turned and hugged him, and kissed him on the cheek. The guys started cheering with everyone else.

Sal said one last time “Okay, so maybe that wasn’t a punishment for Q, but it definitely was for Y/N!” with a laugh “We are the Tenderloins from Impractical Jokers have a good night everyone!” With that we all walked off stage. My mind was racing, Dean who? A year ago I was begging him to remember me, but now I was begging for him to forget me as soon as possible, because the Brian Quinn and I had a date to look forward to.

(A/N: If you read this far, thank you! I know it was LONG. Feedback is always appreciated :) )

[masseffecthoe]

Forbidden starfruit

Chapter 2/5

Summary: Next day bliss.

Warnings: Wetting his Whistle, Taking a trip to pound town, but seriously nsfw

< Chapter 1

Y/N woke up Kylo Ren's annoying distorted voice commanding her to return to base. The sun was gently shining through the round window making the covers warm and nice, but her lover was missing from bed. She stretched her limbs still feeling the remnant of the afterglow, gaze searching for the man in question. Poe was standing with his back towards her, pants already on. Bummer, she was hoping for a lazy morning in bed, Kylo could wait. It had been so long since she felt such chemistry with someone and she didn't know when or if she'd see him again. She smiled, eyes tracing the muscles on his back, his shoulders tense. She had a few ideas on how to relax him.

"Come back t-" He spun around so quickly she actually flinched out of reflex, mind already grasping for the Force. His words were sharp and loud. Not how she imagined the morning would be going.

"You're with the First Order!" Her heart sank at the tone in his voice. She hadn't kept it from him intentionally, it was just not a very good conversation starter... or first impression for that matter. But she gathered now that maybe it hadn't been such a good idea this time around. He looked devastated, eyes blown out in shock. Had he lost someone to the First Order? It was not impossible with the rate they were killing people left and right.

"Yeah, I was hoping it wouldn't be a big deal..." Most people were afraid when they found out, but Poe seemed furious, his fists tight around the fabric of his T-shirt, nostrils flaring with every breath.

"Wouldn't be... is this some kind of game to you??" He was shouting now, took a step forward, but backed away immediately, then just paced to the other side of the room, eyes never leaving her like she'd pounce on him at any moment. Well, she wanted to pounce on him, maybe ride his 'blaster' for a while, but he was making such a fuss about it it was ruining her mood.

"What? N-"

"Was this the trap all along??" Constantly interrupting her was not helping his case either. "No, it can't be, that monster said you dealt with the traitor." Poe’s eyes lit up, mouth hanging, and she had to suppress the sigh and eyeroll combo. "You... the informant..." She wasn't sure if his little ramble was meant to be said out loud, but it gave her the insight she needed. She pinched the bridge of her nose - the morning was definitely not going the way she hoped now.

"You're with the Resistance. Of course." It was just her luck if she was being honest with herself. For how much she valued her power and independence, shit rarely actually went her way. Why couldn't have Poe been just a random freighter pilot like he said? Maybe would have even agreed to join the First Order with her, the pay was good for transport services... It hit her too a moment later, wide eyes fixing on his handsome face. "Well fuck... Poe! As in star Resistance pilot Poe Dameron?" She took his silence as answer enough, her laughter filling in the small space. What were the odds? She couldn't help the flirty line as she eyed the half naked man up and down once more, seeing him in an entirely new light. "The stories don't do you justice."

"Stop it!" He recoiled so fast it only made her smile grow. She wondered what was going on in his head. He didn't look scared, maybe just surprised and perhaps just a little bit disappointed, like she was. But it was good news, they were surely going to meet again, even if they'd have to keep their trysts a secret. At the end of they day they were both just two adults having some fun.

"Look, we don't have to make this awkward."

"You're crazy."

She slipped out of bed, the sheet covering her body falling and she stood naked a few paces away from him. The soft morning light beamed around her from behind like a halo. He was playing tough, but his traitorous body flinched when she drew closer, his eyes straining to stay on her face. He still wanted her, but hated it. She was going to make this hard for him. Y/n placed her hand on his cheek and traced it slowly to the back of his neck pulling him to her, so close her breath sent chills on his skin.

"I may as well be, but remind me who's head was buried between my legs last night?"

"It was a mistake." His voice was low, his defenses slipping.

"But it felt so good!" She let out the last words in little gasps, lips pressing gently over his jaw, following down his neck and over this collarbone, greedy fingers traveling all over his abs and sides before tugging at his pants. He sucked in a breath, hands clasping around her arms in protest, but didn't push her away. It was kind of cute, his internal struggle so obvious on his face. "One last time can't hurt anybody."

Her hands worked painfully slow at his pants, lips barely breaking contact with his skin as she nipped and kissed her way down his toned chest. Fabric out of the way, she stroke his hardening member, a gruff moan escaping the pilot. She felt his fingers flex around her arms, loosening right before the grip was back in full force. The battle between his mind and his dick was exhilarating, never had she wanted to make a man submit so much, let her have her way with him. It was a win-win scenario anyway, why resist at all?

She was in a weird position, halfway to crouching, just as far as his hold allowed her. Her hand cupped his balls, teeth nipping at the skin just below his left pec and his resolve crumbled, head rolling backwards. She wasted no time, slipping through his fingers and kneeling before him. She gave his now throbbing cock a lick from base to tip, his hands wrapping in her hair. She thought he might try to pull her away, but he gathered her hair with gentle strokes in a loose ponytail, prying the loose strands from her face. There eyes met and she knew she had him, flustered cheeks and brows furrowed, mouth gasping for air, watching her expectantly. She gave his dick a few more cheeky licks before taking it all in, throat relaxed and eyes never leaving his.

Cheeks hollowed, she sucked on it like she knew best, one hand massaging his balls, the other firmly pressed to the back of his thigh, nails pressing in the taunt muscles. He was panting, gaze burning with lust, hips buckling ever so slightly when she pressed her tongue along his shaft. He was breathtaking, a parallel to the night before when he had her pressed against the door, his mouth on her core. The memory of his lips on her and the sight of him ignited her from within, her hand traveling to rub her aching clit.

She let his dick out of her mouth with a pop and lowered her eyes to admire him in his full glory, but before she knew it he was pulling her in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist for support. His eyes met hers again, his pupils blown and breath ragged, but she couldn't focus for long and his thick member stroke against her dripping folds. A moan escaped her lips, her head falling back as he shoved his dick inside her roughly. His head fell on the same spot from the previous night, on the crook of her neck, and sucked on the still tender flesh. He pressed her against the wall, adjusting his grip on her thigs and pulled back until just the tip was still inside her, only to push in with renewed vigor. The pace quickened, turning into a heavy rhythm, so different and yet the same. It was still lustful, she could still feel the desire, the spark between them, but also his anger. Her arms circled around his neck, one hand fisting into his messy hair. He groaned on her skin, biting her shoulder, the pain mixing in with the pleasure. She thought she forgot to breath for a moment, his dick hitting that sweet spot one last time before the rapture came over her like a wave, radiating from her core, every nerve in her body sparking to life in its wake. She was vaguely aware of his arms tightening around her as his last thrusts became uneven.

They stayed like that for a while catching their breaths, his dick still inside and head still hiding on her shoulder, skin against skin sweaty and hot. Her eyes fell on his mouth when he finally pulled away. He had such perfect lips. She untangled her fingers from his hair, nails scraping gently. She caressed his cheek, thumb tracing his lips, moist and swollen. He almost leaned into her touch. Almost.

She smiled, but she felt it didn't quite reach her eyes, and untangled herself from him. They dressed in silence, Y/N sighing a few times. No sexy morning shower together then. She cleaned herself the best she could, but she'd still need to sneak in the bath before her training with Kylo. She stole glanced at the pilot, admiring his form, the way his muscles flexed when he pulled the T-shirt over his head. The thought of him in his X-wing, orange jumpsuit fully zipped open, cock standing in full attention. What a sight that would be! She sighed again and took her long hooded coat out of the drawer and wrapped herself in it. She saw him watching her from the corner or her eye as she swiftly clasped her lightsaber belt, the black leather hanging oddly on the satin dress beneath. She took the holopad and few other possessions and turned towards Poe, mustering a smile. His eyes were glued to the First Order badge on her cape's shoulder. Why was he making shit so awkward?

"Well, until next time, fly boy." She cringed bit at her own words, the thought of meeting him during a battle somewhere flashing in her mind. He grabbed her by the arm as she went to pass him by, his grip firm but not constricting. His gaze was piercing, as if he wanted to see inside her soul. Cute, but it didn't work quite like that. Mind reading was a more complex art.

"Did you kill him?" Her brows furrowed, chin lifting in defiance. Was everyone in the Resistance so naïve?

"If you mean the traitor then of course." His face fell at her answer, but she felt her blood boil. She had half a mind to rip him a new one, who did he think he was? Self righteous bastard! She smiled instead a dark little smirk and added with more venom than she intended. "Let's not ruin a perfect morning." She ripped herself from his hold with ease and rushed out of the room. Anger did not look good on her, it was one of the emotions she did not particularly enjoy. She took a little detour both to calm herself down and to make sure she wasn't followed. The Resistance had that annoying habit of finding itself where it shouldn't.

Tali was waiting for her on the ship. It was jut a bit smaller than Kylo's command shuttle, his ego always pushing to prove he was above her. But that was Snoke's plan, wasn't it? To pit them against one another until he'd eventually snap and try to kill her. She hoped he wouldn't, but lately she was not so sure.

"Sooooooo, how was it?" The other woman's excitement died down when she saw her face. "That bad, huh?" Tali was a sweetheart, clearly not cut out for the life of constant murder and backstabbing, born in a line of ex-empire followers and pushed into the grips of the First Order by her family. For the glory of the former Empire! Y/N imagined they would shout a speech even Hux would be proud of. The less she knew, the safer she'd be, even if it unfortunately meant Y/N could not vent to her friend too much about Poe.

"Eh, he got all squeamish when he found out I was First Order."

"I'm sorry."

"Sex was great though." She giggled, the sound making Y/N smile as well.

"Not to be the bearer of bad news, but Commander Ren is, um, angry." Ah, poor baby was throwing a temper tantrum again. It was sad how se seemed to want her attention and her demise all at once.

"We should get going then..."

One jump into hyperspace and a quick shower later, Y/N made her way into the training room. She had her full uniform on, the mix of leather and soft fabric like a second skin, but she kept the helmet under her arm. Kylo was already in the center of the ring, oozing wrath like some sith lord in the legends of old. It was goin to be an intend training session.

"You're late."

"Hhhm... Hutts are ugly." He stared at her like she had grown a second head. "I thought we were stating random truths." He ignored her quip and stalked closer to her, fidgeting with the lightsaber in his hand.

"What took you so long?"

"I took a little time off for a night of drinks and debauchery. You should try it once in a while, great stress reliever." He snarled, the crackling noise of his weapon his only reply.

They clashed, red against red, his saber frizzling, hers smooth. She had to steer clear of his cross-guard, burning angrily like the rest of his sword, but hers was also dangerous, a circle of sharp, unforgiving metal. He charged at her in a frenzy, each strike less coordinate, desperate. She parried and dodged, always meeting him halfway, but never pushing back. He was a raging inferno, she was a leaf in the wind. Something was clearly eating at him and she doubted it had much to do with her. What had Snoke gotten into his head now? One of his swings came awfully close to her face, the heath from the lightsaber pinching at her cheek. Would he really do it? Strike her?

She was growing tired of just stepping out of the way, but he did not show any signs of slowing down. If anything, he was was becoming more erratic, his moves harder to predict. He jabbed at her, shouting now, seething. But he'd never actually hit her... would he?

She saw a small opening, a chance to strike back and she took it before she could think twice, her muscles tiring and aching for a break. His eyes widened, but before her lightsaber got even remotely close, she felt the familiar grip of the Force around her limbs, pinning her to the spot. She could have fought against it, but the man before her seemed to cool down, if only just barely. His lightsaber was still on, it's jagged pattern casting dancing shadows on his clothes.

"How are you better when you're not even trying?" He freed her from his hold, lightsaber back on his belt, and she in turn released a shaky breath.

"Oh, I am trying not to get stabbed, you can get pretty scary. I'm actually not entirely convinced you wouldn't cut me down if you had the chance... but I'm just not taking it so seriously."

"Not taking what seriously?"

"The First Order, Snoke, the sith code, any of it."

"But you're training to be sith." He was looking at her again with that same expression, somewhere between irate and impressed, curious yet exasperated. She was sith, but the code spoke to her in different ways.

"If 'there is only passion' shouldn't we enjoy life a little more? It says nothing about being miserable and angry all the time. Or following the orders of a wrinkled ballsack..." He actually chuckled and she considered it a small victory so she went on, inching closer to him. "'Through victory my chains are broken. The Force shall set me free.' Do you feel free, Kylo Ren?"

"I've never felt so lost." She placed her hand on his shoulder. She remembered him when they were younger, in Luke's jedi camp. He seemed happy then, she thought he'd make a great jedi one day, worried even that he'd be the one to chase her down after she left. Never would she have guessed he'd come recruit her for the First Order years later.

"You should listen more to yourself and less to the ones around you." She meant Snoke, but saying his name felt like summoning a demon sometimes. She squeezed before taking her hand off, but was surprised when he engulfed her in his arms, caging her against his chest in an iron grip. She sighed and patted him on the back, almost felt bad for the sucker, when she felt the hilt of his lightsaber just below her ribs. He'd only have to turn in on now. He inched away, his steady gaze meeting her own, a smile playing on his lips. The pressure of the saber went away the next second. He ruffled her hair like he used to do when they were both naïve little padawans, in what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"I'd never cut you down, Y/N." But that was exactly why Snoke was keeping her around, couldn't he see? How could they still pretend to be friends when one of them was always going to die at the hand of the other? This was more than some misplaced sibling rivalry! She was sith, but even she could admit that the stupid 'rule of two' was ridiculous and outdated. The code was a guideline, each generation seeming to interpret it to their own needs. So why were listening to that overpowered morsel? Why were they playing along to revive the Empire's glory when it had obviously failed once? But he seemed so naïve sometimes, placing such trust in someone like that old scrotum. She was reminded of the Resistance and their own innocent dreams. Could she still pull Kyl- Ben out of Snoke's grasp?

"Let's go another round."

"Fine, but then we sneak off to Nar Shaddaa, get some drinks, maybe get into a barfight, kill some bandits. Deal?" He shook his head, but there was a glimmer in his eyes as he took stance for attack.

Y/N didn't know if it had been then that she decided. It might have been in the back of her head since that day he came as Kylo Ren and offered her a place in the First Order, but it was in that moment when he charged at her, the childlike joy back in his dark eyes, that she swore she was going to get him away from Snoke's influence.

[gra-sonas]

Day after day this summer, with covid-19 shuttering much of the world, Lily Cowles would enter a small sewing room in her family’s 18th century home in Northwest Connecticut, crawl inside some blankets, and scream. Along with her wails, she’d repeat the same phrases, over and over — all part of a daily ritual that spanned some four hours, until a collection of voices told her they were satisfied. Then she would collect herself, climb out from the blankets and greet her boyfriend who could hear her through the walls in the next room.

“Man, you died a lot of ways today,” he’d say.

“I don’t know why they killed me so bad,” Cowles would reply.

Such were the unusual conditions for Cowles and others when recording the dialogue — and other vocalizations — for the upcoming game “Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War,” the newest addition to the famed and fanciful war sim series. The blanket-draped fort served as the actress’s workstation, with a host of audio producers providing directions via video conference. Occasionally those instructions included imagining a wide variety of fates for her character, requiring lengthy sessions capturing death cries. All of it was part of a months-long, pandemic-related process to produce the game, one that proved both challenging in its never-before-done nature and cathartic for its ample opportunities to exorcise the many anxieties of 2020.

“It just felt so good to scream for that long,” said Cowles, who plays MI-6 operative Helen Park and supplied the character’s voice for both the game’s story and multiplayer modes. She recalled one session in which the game’s audio producers recorded her falling from a 30-story building. “I was like, ‘can we make it 40 floors? I could really use the extra 10 [stories] of just straight screaming.’ It just felt like a real relief.”

The unorthodox routine was shared by “Cold War’s” cast of 125 actors as they pivoted to follow safety protocols related to the novel coronavirus, which temporarily shut down the game’s production in March. The latest installment in the Call of Duty franchise, releasing Nov. 13, was completed with both developers and actors working remotely and overcoming a variety of logistical challenges.

“At the time [in March, when covid cases escalated in the United States] we thought it might be like 20 people or 50 percent of the studio who would have to work from home, and maybe that would be for like two weeks,” Dan Vondrak, Senior Creative Director at Raven Software, said. “And then it was everybody. … In my head, I was thinking, if this thing lasts six to eight weeks, we can’t get it done. That’s impossible.”

For Cowles and the game’s other actors, that meant recording lines of dialogue — and their many screams — from the confines of their homes. That process normally would be captured in large part during live shoots using motion capture suits on a studio sound stage. During the pandemic, capturing those recordings provided a unique challenge for narrative producer Natalie Pohorski and her team.

“One of those areas I thought we were just dead in the water was the external talent [voice overs],” Vondrak said. “I can’t have actors go into a studio. So, how is this going to work? And what Natalie and the narrative team did to get that to work and have people recording at home was unbelievable.”

Before dispersing from the studio, Pohorski and Vondrak estimated they had between 50 and 60 percent of the voice over work finalized. Working with their partners at Activision (the game’s publisher) and Treyarch (“Cold War’s” co-developer), Pohorski and her team shipped the actors crates filled with recording equipment that included helmets wired with microphones, sound mixing boards and materials to improve the acoustics around their homes.

“They sent me this giant Pelican briefcase that looked like I’m an arms dealer,” Cowles said.

Veteran actor Bruce Thomas, who plays the role of CIA agent Russell Adler in the game, already had a 5-foot-by-5-foot sound booth he’d constructed in his apartment adjacent to his kitchen. He’d used it to previously to record voice overs, including for some commercials, but he’d never recorded himself there quite so regularly — or at quite the same volume level. To that end, he sought to get ahead of any potential problems with a kind gesture and a heads-up for his neighbors about any yells they may hear through the walls.

“I delivered cookies and a little note to their doors right next to me and below me,” Thomas said. “I just moved here in January, so I hadn’t really met them yet, and I got a text message from the person below me who was like, ‘Oh my God! You do that for a living? How cool is that? Even if I hear you, don’t worry about it.’”

The conditions also required the actors to perform another role as well: that of audio engineer, recording and tinkering with sound levels to ensure quality and consistency. The studio’s engineers would call actors and walk them through proper setups and troubleshoot issues, but when something went wrong, the actors would have to be the ones to fix it manually. Turns out CIA operatives have the same tech troubles as other remote workers.

“Because of covid, everybody’s home and sharing bandwidth,” Thomas said about the Internet connection in his apartment building. “Sometimes it would just cut right out [during an online recording session]. And sometimes when that happens, a glitch will happen on your laptop and so you have to reboot it.”

The recording process consisted of four sessions per day, every day of the week, according to Pohorski, who also noted they wrapped at a similar time compared to what they’d anticipated in their pre-pandemic production schedule, even as they navigated challenges that would have been easily addressed in their usual studio setting.

“To not be able to just walk up and touch the screen and act out what I was talking about … ‘I want the guy’s head to turn this way,’ … I was trying to do it real time in a video camera,” Vondrak said. “Just the communication of that last 20 percent [of the game] was probably the most difficult.”

The on-the-fly evolution of several standardized processes did carry some fringe benefits, according to both the developers and actors. On the development team, Vondrak noted some people seemed more willing to contribute their opinions to the creative process when they didn’t feel the pressure of speaking up in a formal meeting. For the actors, Cowles said her isolated, remote location led her to take more chances with her character.

“I think I was able to make facial expressions and noises that, in a normal setting, my body would be like, ‘Don’t, don’t, don’t. You don’t want to make that noise. Don’t make that face,’" Cowles said. “But I was alone in this thing, and you know, the context in which we’re working [as characters] is this crazy war zone where horrible things are going down. Right? And no one in that situation is thinking about the sound they’re making or the face that they’re making. … I think that led to a degree of authenticity in my work.”

Another silver lining, according to Vondrak, was the increased flexibility in scheduling follow-up sessions for VO work. Oftentimes VO recording sessions are pegged to specific times of the year when the developers can gather all the actors in one place and free them from their other projects. (For example, Thomas is also the motion capture actor for Master Chief for the upcoming game “Halo: Infinite.”) With everyone working from home, the actors’ schedules became more flexible.

“It was like, wait a minute, we can just go back to these people and have them pop out of their family room, into their closet and record some VO lines,” Vondrak said. “Normally it would have been like, ‘We need some new lines.’ And [the schedulers] would have said, ‘Well, the next pick up session where everyone’s going to be in the studio is June.' It’s [normally] a very slow, formal process."

The flexibility did carry an occasional side effect of home life encroaching on the working world, and vice versa, often providing a uniquely 2020 kind of amusement.

Cowles remembered recording a scene in which her character laments the loss of one of her companions, screaming his name repeatedly as a helicopter whisks her away.

“I came out of the sewing room, and my boyfriend is like … ‘So, who is he?’” Cowles said. “I was like, ‘Don’t worry about it. He’s dead now.’”

[rivetgoth]

I had this friend I met in the Hetalia fandom in like 8th-9th grade who was like, a lot older than me (I was like 12-13 when we met and she was like 17 or so), and we were REALLY close for a really long time, we'd talk and call every day and it got to a point where she was really dependent on me in this awful way where she would like constantly threaten suicide if I didn't answer her texts fast enough and shit like that. She was really rich cuz her dad was a doctor and one time she bought me an entire fucking Xbox One (I did not ask for it like... I'd always been a PlayStation gamer LOL) because she didn't have anyone to play Halo with her. My family still has it and uses it as a DVD player/Netflix machine.

Anyway the really batshit thing about this person (BESIDES the fact that she was like, definitely a pedophile who loved shota and frequently sexted me after she'd turned 18+ and I was like 14 and she also had both a bestiality and incest fetish that she'd talk to me about constantly — I was a kid I had no moral concept of anything and just liked being edgy and feeling mature) was that she was like. A chronic liar who constantly faked identities. And for years after cutting off contact with her I would look back and realize that she had faked even more than I had noticed at the time. The thing is, I knew for sure she wasn't lying about her home life -- Her address, what she looked like, her dad's profession, her age, her house, her pets, etc, were all things I had proof of. But when I knew her she was constantly remaking her Tumblr to escape drama she'd start, and she would constantly make side blogs under pseudonyms and pretend it wasn't her (sometimes it would be random shit like aesthetic blogs under different names or ask blogs for characters or smthn, other times it was like, callout blogs for people she had gotten into drama with where she would pretend to be someone else defending her). I assumed back then that I was always going to be in on it, because she would always tell me whenever she made one of these fake accounts, and sometimes she would encourage me to make a new account too as a sort of roleplay thing where we both pretended to be people we weren't... Until I learned that she wasn't always telling me. Every so often, I would become mutuals with a new account who would start messaging me about my interests and strike a conversation with me. Then something would slip and my "new mutual" would admit that they had actually been my friend all along... Which should have made me immediately cut contact because that's weird as shit, but I was young and she was a close friend, so I would just sorta accept it.

She ended up being like, horrifically transphobic. She got run off her blog twice for being specifically transmisogynistic, first insisting that she was allowed to headcanon canon trans women as feminine men and then on her next blog insisting that lesbians couldn't be attracted to trans women. I was still young and closeted and she was one of my closest friends and was constantly messaging me that the situation was making her suicidal and she was just wording things wrong and totally supported trans people and people just weren’t giving her the benefit of the doubt and she was still learning so I tried to just stay out of it without losing her. Then... I came out as trans lol. She stopped replying to me when I first came out and then made a bunch of vents on her tumblr about how much it upset her and about how “using he/him pronouns for AFAB people is triggering” for whatever fucking reason. She told me her “best IRL friend” who she had introduced me to once on Skype but who never logged in again after and who refused to ever do a group call or anything (definitely another fake account) said that it was irrational for me to expect my friends to respect my pronouns so soon after coming out and that I shouldn’t be upset if I get misgendered. Then she apologized but told me my name and pronouns would never fit me. As you can imagine, as a little baby trans kid who was closeted from my family and terrified of even having come to terms with being trans, I didn’t really have a great defense.

Soon she started being really woke like 2014 style Tumblr SJW to save face, she came out as nonbinary and told me in private it was because she felt bad when people called her cis during discourse (she absolutely wasn't nonbinary) and she coined a "new sexuality" that was "attraction only to people you perceive as feminine, regardless of how they identify" -- what this actually meant was "attraction to cis women and not trans women." She ran an aroace help blog despite not being aroace? And made a bunch of pride flags that I still see around sometimes to this day. She would start fights a lot and try to out-woke people and got into a bunch of drama with other SJW types of the day, got into a bunch of drama with TumblrInAction and Mogai-Watch and shit like that, and she claimed for a short while that she had a headmate (FWIW I totally believe DID is a legitimate thing but like. Trust me on this one.) who was transphobic and that it made her so sad, she told me that it was actually that headmate that had been transphobic before, and every so often her headmate would front out of nowhere and misgender me and use really abusive language like calling me a cunt or a bitch or whatever. She started making these "intersex nonbinary" OCs who she would constantly make porn of under the guise that they were representation for LGBT people who were just like, extremely fetishistic cuntboys and dickgirls (they were “intersex” to explain why they could be “girls with natal penises” or “boys with natal vaginas”).

At that same time, she somehow always managed to have these random, very sporadically active trans women mutuals who were apparently amazing friends of hers, who shared some interests with her but also would defend her when people brought up her past, with these long-winded “Well, I’m a trans woman and I think what she said is perfectly justified and everyone makes mistakes and she’s always been a good ally!!” Then one day some trans woman received an ask from her account where she claimed to be a “black trans woman” (she was, of course, a white cis woman) and she freaked out and claimed she had “been hacked by TiA or 4Chan to make her look bad” — I realize now she had just been sending anon messages pretending to be things she wasn’t and forgot to hit anon LOL. Late in all of this she also got into a bunch of hot water for being really antisemitic and saying she didn’t trust Jewish people because they were just like Christians and like, 5 seconds later she came out as Jewish and wrote this whole long sad vent about how she had had internalized antisemitism and then started going by a random Hebrew name LMAO.

In the end the final breaking point was when I found her secret TERF blog, where she had been making posts for months about how trans men are just insecure women who are trying to escape misogyny by stepping on the backs of “fellow women” and using me as a fucking example, and also saying that me not coming out as a trans man had been “basically rape” since she had been SEXTING me when she was 18+ and I was 13-14+ and that it was traumatic to know someone she had trusted was secretly identifying as a man LMAO. She was also obviously saying all sorts of transmisogynistic things, but also had these really bizarre fetish posts about wanting trans women to fuck her...? I confronted her about it and she literally fucking out of nowhere told me that she was in the emergency room with a mysterious illness that might kill her and she was allowed to have her phone but due to privacy laws couldn’t send a picture as proof. While “in the hospital” she deleted the TERF blog and her personal blog. I had known her for literal YEARS at this point (we had met when I was 12-13 or so and by the time we no longer spoke I was a few months from 17), and I was completely stunned to fucking hear this person trying to pull “I’m in the hospital with a deadly disease” at being confronted for some shit like that LMAO. I made a post about it on my public and another “trans woman friend” of hers logged in to vehemently defend her by saying that there’s nothing wrong with AFAB women being untrusting of trans people because female oppression is uniquely traumatic and that there’s nothing wrong with women expressing their sexuality by sexting minors as long as the minor consents and that I was the real predator for “hiding that I was a man” (remember, I’d been a 13 year old closeted trans boy), before never logging in again... 😭 One of the last times we ever talked was when she demanded I refund her for the fucking Xbox and I refused.

Anyway, the long-term aftermath of that is that a few people online (in some random cringe areas of the internet) who archived some of her antics still think that I also wasn’t a real person, since they caught onto how much she lied about too, so they think I was also a sock puppet and I have no interest in clarifying and making myself known to those people LOL. I have no fucking idea where she is now, she deactivated everything after her being a TERF came out. There’s like, so much more to that I could say because I knew her for YEARS and, like I said, she was one of my “closest friends.” Her parents had wildly expensive pure bred designer dogs that she would make Vines of. She wrote Beatles real person fan fiction. For her birthday one year I made her a shirt on Zazzle with an inside joke about one of her OCs... does she still have that? Either way, she was easily the most batshit person I’ve ever known closely online and I will forever associate the Hetalia fandom with people like that.

[hattibroski]

(Fanfic continues. Sorry that it’s short, I can’t type a lot.)

“Yes, I can ensure you the doorbell wor.............” Yakko’s eyes widened to the size of saucers as he stared at the 3. He carefully stepped out and walked over to Whimsy. He poked her nose. Whimsy covered it and blushed. “Hey!!! I’m not a doorbell!!” Yakko stepped back a little. “Hey Dot!! Can you come here?! I THINK Wakko put Haldol into my coffee again!!” Dot came out adjusting her flower. “No, this time it was Tegretol. It’ll wear off in an hour or so. Not sure what “off” is, but must be the latest fashion.” Dot looked at Hatti, Whimsy and Brassi an..... “HI! I’M DOT! Don’t call me Dotty, or I’ll hurt you and you’ll like it! Who are you?! Why do you look like us?! Oh, who cares, do you want my number or do you wanna move in?! I don’t mind, really, my bed is large enough for 2!” ...and she raced over to Brassi faster than I can tell the story. Geez! Brassi didn’t look surprised for long, because a grin spread over his face. “Huh, well I’m Brassi and I have to think about that....but probably not for long.” Both of them were just grinning at each other batting their eyelashes.

Yakko realized they weren’t hallucinations and he inhaled, getting ready to flirt with Whimsy, but she poked him in the chest with her index finger. “Since when do you live here?! How come I’ve never seen you before?! First of all, I’m Whimsy, nice to meet you.” Yakko shook her hand. “I’m Yakko, so lovely to meet you, too.” Hatti interrupted carefully. “Well, we have mostly stayed inside the bus and just recently moved here, so....”

“Guys, what’s going on out here...? I thought we were gonna play extreme Twister!” Wakko finally decided to make his presence. Hatti’s head turned from looking at Whimsy towards Wakko. Wakko looked back at her. Hatti felt her face getting oddly hot and tingly. Her heart started to race! And since there was no one else racing against it, it won!! Yes, it’s getting a trophy and lots of pictures taken and it won a trip into the throat!! .....hrm..... Anyway, Wakko felt weird and just blushed, waving over at her. It was indeed odd that he didn’t rush over to say ‘hi’.

Yakko noticed his brother standing there, waving at Hatti, maybe just 5 feet away from her. “They are real, they’re just strange and have an attitude, except for that guy.” He thumbed at Brassi. “I think him and Dot are planning their honeymoon. They already discussed the wedding.” “I know they’re real! If it was a dream there’d be cheese floating around and they’d turn into giant pasta, onion, ketchup and walnut sandwiches topped with raspberry jam! Also, I would’ve woken up by now......and I’m really glad I haven’t...” “First of all, maybe you shouldn’t eat weird things before bed and secondly, why haven’t you introduced yourself yet, I mean, she’s cute, right?” Wakko pulled his hat over his head. “C...cute?” Yakko blinked. “What’s up with you?!”

Hatti seemed to be stunned. Her vision had turned pink and she felt an overwhelming feeling of bliss. Whimsy was still poking Yakko’s chest, but looked at her siblings acting weird, then she turned back towards Yakko. She lowered her hand. “Well, it seems like you guys....” “...AND GIRL!!” Dot interrupted. “Heh.....and girl.....are pretty nice. Maybe I can get used to you.” Whimsy smiled. Yakko grinned. “Would not mind if you got more than just used to me.” He clicked his tongue and winked.

Whimsy felt herself blush. “I...I.....um.....” “Cat got yer tongue?” Yakko asked a bit concerned. Whimsy opened her mouth and pulled out a kitten, then threw it behind her. “Yup, aren’t they annoying? So hairy, too!” Yakko invited everyone in for tea. Whimsy tried to get Hatti to move, but she absolutely did not react. Brassi and Dot were talking about god and the world while walking into the water tower. “And I guess that’s how god created all animals.” Brassi explained. Dot nodded at him, holding onto his arm, swooning. “He should’ve used play-doh. Much softer, smells better and isn’t as cold.”

“Hatti... Hey, Hatti?” Whimsy waved her hand in front of Hatti’s face. “HATTI!!!” Hatti snapped out of it and turned bright red. “I.....I don’t know if I can handle this....” Whimsy looked from Hatti over at Wakko, who was mumbling unknown words from under his hat. She walked over to him. “Hrm, excuse me, but you are aware that you turned my sister into some kinda zombie, right?” Yakko grabbed Wakko and carried him inside like a surfboard. “I’ll just wait for you inside, cutie!”

Whimsy twitched and talked to herself. “I can’t believe he called me a cutie......” Hatti rubbed her arms. “Well, maybe because you’re cute?” “Yeah, I know, but I’m not even wearing something.....girly....” Whimsy looked at her hoodie. Hatti smiled. “Just means he’d like you no matter what!” Whimsy smiled lightly and got ready to go inside. “Hey, weren’t you like, almost not able to talk a second ago?” Hatti blushed again and her ears drooped. “OH! Right.......” She followed Whimsy inside.

They both spotted the others sitting around a table, with teacups in front of them that barely had anything in them. Whimsy laughed. “Man, you guys drink your tea fast.” Dot spoke up. “We haven’t even started! Everyone just asked for a SPOT of tea.” Whimsy sat down, next to Yakko. “Oh...” She looked at her teacup. “But all jokes aside here.....” Wakko jumped up! “OKAY!!” He rushed to the side and literally pushed a pile of funny sentences away. Whimsy continued. “I really love my tea, so, please, fill up this cup.” Yakko set the tea kettle down in front of her. “How about this?” Whimsy happily grabbed the kettle and drank from it.

Brassi looked at his sister in awe. “I believe he expected you to pour yourself a cup. You’re so silly sometimes, Whimsy..... You forgot to put honey in it.” “OH, RIGHT!!” Whimsy grabbed the honey and poured it all into the kettle. Yakko laughed. “Well, looks like we need to get more honey from the store. “I’LL GO!!” Wakko raised his hand high in the air. Yakko smiled at him. “We don’t need THAT much Honey, Wakko. Wakko pouted and looked the other way. He didn’t even notice he was sitting next to Hatti, who had buried her face in her arms. “AH! Well....guess I’ll just sit here......next to her.......which I’ve been doing......and not noticed.” Wakko turned red.

Hatti looked up and they stared at each other for a second before turning the other way. Brassi couldn’t help but laugh at his sister. “Yup, she sooo totally doesn’t like him. That’s why she does that, you see....” He looks over at Yakko. “Holy cow....” Yakko looked at a cow with wings and a halo. “...I really gotta milk you soon, your utters look like they’re gonna burst.” He turned towards Wakko and Hatti and smirked. “Come on you two! Introduce yourselves!”

Hatti and Wakko slowly turned around, swallowing. They grabbed each others hand to shake them, but instead sparks started flying. Li-ter-all-y. The others all ducked down. Wakko seemed to be a little bit braver, so he finally said.... “I’m Wakko.....” Hatti inhaled and squeaked. “I’m Hatti...”

[perksofbeingaharrie]

PICTURE THIS - part:2

FRIENDS TO LOVERS FIC 

PART 2 is OUT NOW

The response to Part 1 has been so so nice! Thank you to everyone who is reading and appreciating. Here’s part 2 as promised!

The series takes on the angst part soon soon soon. GGAAHHH IM EXCITED. 

Look out for my works and like, reblog and comment plentiful!! Thank you so much. 

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut

PICTURE THIS - part:2

© perksofbeingaharrie

--

The tour of her life had only begun. But Harry Styles was on and off for his world tour.

With dates so close and bound, it was impossible that even a day of hers would go without setting up her camera, buying hundreds of SD cards from around the world and uploading, deleting and saving the best of the captured moments.

His day almost always coincided with hers. While he practiced, she clicked his pictures. When he lounged and relaxed, she came around with her soothing voice to indulge him in good thoughts. And when he performed, she looked up at him on stage with the biggest smile on her face.

All in all, there was never a moment when they were without one another. It was sometimes that he took the lead and sometimes her.

And when they were on breaks, he called her over for some personal, unplanned photoshoots. No extravagant lighting, no photoshop and no extra people. Just him and her and her camera.

She would dress him up, he would dress into his best. He would casually hang by the balcony, or his bed or by the kitchen, giggling, laughing out loud, sombre, dramatic and she would gladly click his beautiful face.

There was no barriers to when he was with her. She would ask him to strip down to his boxers and he would do so, of course with a little jest here and there but never with an intention.

She indulged in the comfort and casualness he exhibited when with her. It was almost so natural and she would do certain things in the flow of it like kiss him on the cheeks or stare at him for too long and it would never feel too weird. He was just so simple.

Harry couldn’t think of anything but breathe when around her. Breathe an amount full of hope, trust and honesty and exhale comfortably. She built this blanket around them, separating their world and the outside and for the few moments they were really together, Harry didn’t feel the need to fret or hesitate but just let go.

One day, while one of their photoshoots, he expressed one of his deepest desires.

“I want to try some makeup.”

She looked up from the floor where she had her bag wide open and camera ready to be pulled out.

His heart skipped a beat looking at her seem so alarmed at his proposal. He bit his lower lips and breathed too loud, scratching the back of his neck.

“Uh, um, like you know just for the pictures. Ju-Just to see if they look good…or-uh-“

“Sure.” Was all she said and then went back to setting up her tools.

He felt unsure but walked away anyway to change out of his usual clothes. When he returned, she is standing before the set up but not just with her camera, but with a small glittery pouch.

“This is all I could bring around for the tour. You see, I am not a big make-up fan.” She smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners delicately. Harry swore he saw a halo over her head.

He chuckled back at her, shaking his head. “I guess we can begin with what we have?”

She nodded, gesturing grandly to the chair she set and he jogs his way to there. Down on the chair, he turned his face up and stared at her as she situated herself in front of him, nabbing her knees against his. With his legs now open, she slid in between them to begin her work.

“I’ll buy you some nice make-up too. We’ll need the foundation that is to your shade and I have too much nude shades – I think I’ll look up some peach and pinks for your skin to-“

“This isn’t weird, is it?”

She stopped midway in her work and looked down at him with assuring eyes. “There is nothing more beautiful than when you are this open to yourself, Harry.”

He gave a shy smile. “Thank you.”

“No,” She slid the first stroke of her brush against his cheek. “Thank you.”

And so he closed his eyes and let her do her magic. The results came out even better because somewhere her presence and her assurance made his heart smile from within.

This was all about her. The comfort and love of her was so uplifting to Harry in so many ways. He had been insecure before, his past friendships or relationships could never fathom to the kind of acceptance and acknowledgement he got from her. The way she talked, the way she shared and the way she acted – everything meant so much to him.

He liked her. Oh, he liked her so so much.

He thought about kissing her so many times.

But he just won’t. He never wanted to take this step to ruin what was already here for him.

Friends don’t talk for ages but they never forget you. Lovers don’t talk for some time and worlds are falling down. He cannot dare to commit to something now. He cannot wish to ruin what is here right in front of him now.

He hasn’t been the best when it comes to relationships. It is also been them at times, but he also admits it has been him at many many instances. He grows anxious over the thought to committing to someone and then hurting bad. He hates to even think that they get involved and it just does not work out.

Some people are just meant to fill in your life as friends. Best friends. They cannot be your lover.  

And so, he never commits.

--

“Harry!” She half whispers, half squeals.

They have been running for some time now. Further and further into the backdoors of the arena, Harry does not stop at all. He has his hand clasped around her wrist and she is having a hard time catching up thanks to his long legs taking twice as much as her steps.

“What the he-“

They finally pull into his make-up room. She is pushed in and he shuts the door behind them, panting with his back against it.

“The concert starts in 5 minutes, you!” She reminds him again, this time sterner.

He only laughs. She shakes her head at him, supressing the chuckle she herself feels coming up. Her heart has forgotten to feel weak since with him. Every day, every moment, it’s beating against her bones like it is the most excited child around the town and she is now used to this exhilarating feeling.

“I know, I know.” Harry reaches into the inside of his jacket’s pocket and pulls out a small whiskey bottle. Her eyes widen.

“Smuggled it from the VIP guests menu. I am not allowed to be taking this hard before the concert.” He uncaps the bottle giddily.

“And, what? I am your accomplice in this?” She tuts, crossing her arms over her chest.

He takes the first gulp, cringing at the burning taste travelling down his throat. “Yes.” He says to her, pushing the bottle towards her.

She shakes her head, but nevertheless, accepts the bottle. “You’re gonna get me in trouble.”

“Don’t lie. You love this.” He walks behind her and leans back against the make-up dresser, ruffling his set hair.

“Geez.” She takes a sip, too big for her own liking and walks back to him to stand beside him.

He takes another sip and sets the bottle on the dresser. “Also, also.” He turns around, rummaging through the first drawer and pulls out a small palate of highlighter. “Put this on me?”

She smiles and takes the palate from him. Standing close to his leaning body, she applies some of the highlighter on the pad of her fingers and brings it close to his high cheekbones.

“You’re already so golden, Harry. What do you need more glitter for?”

He chuckles underneath her, eyes shut close as her fingers glide against his skin. “Even I realize this isn’t really needed. Just wanted this as a good luck from you.”

“I am always looking out for you.” She says, a smile in her voice.

He nods and opens his eyes, turning around to look at himself in the mirror. “Not bad.”

The door opens then and the production manager of the arena staggers in breathlessly. “Harry, Harry-“

“This is Dave, the production manager around here.” He turns to her. “And Dave, this is Y/N, photographer for the tour.”

Dave gives a courtesy smile and turns to Harry back again with panicking eyes. “The concert’s about to begin. Everyone’s going crazy looking for you!”

Harry sighs and turns to the mirror again. “I’m ready, I’m ready.” He brushes his hair again, admiring how the highlighter on his cheeks looks under the vanity lights.

She is ready with an encouraging smile when he turns and with one last wink to her, he is rushing out.

--

Jeff slings his arm around Harry, who is now changed out of his outfit into some comfortable joggers and shirt after the concert and they are headed back to their hotel.

“Can’t believe we’ll be leaving America soon.” He sighs. “We’ve played double the amount of events this time but it still feels like it’s coming to an end this soon.”

“I know right.” Harry agrees, sliding his arm around his waist.

“By the way,” He continues. “Have you seen Y/N? I haven’t been able to grab a hold of her since I came back from changing.”

Jeff nods. “Yeah, I saw her leave with the production manager of ours – what’s his name..”

“She left with Dave?” Harry stops mid-walking, turning to Jeff with a confused look on his face.

“Yeah. She told me they were going out for a drink.” Jeff shakes his head. “I completely forget – she told me to tell you this.”

“Tell me what?”

“This – that she is going out for drinks with Dave.”

“Oh, okay.” Harry sighs, returning from a daze he cannot even remember what for. “Well, she didn’t have to…”

They are walking again.

“Yeah, right. The girl’s having a good time. I am happy for her.” Jeff chuckles to himself.

Harry deems no reply. “I don’t understand though. We were supposed to meet up for our customary drinking post-concert…” He says more to himself.

“Why don’t you join us tonight then?” Jeff places a persuading hand on Harry’s shoulder. “It’s been a while.”

Harry opens his mouth and then closes it, thinking for a bit. She is out having her time and Harry does not want her or even him to feel the pressure that they depend on each other too much.

“Yeah, of course. I don’t want to feel lonely anyway.”

Jeff shakes his head, taking lead. “Oh, you with your shit again – c’mon let’s be quick then if we wanna catch up with the others.”

And Harry just realizes how much he is going to miss her tonight.

-

MASTERLIST   o   PART 1   o  PART 3  o  PART 4

PART 3 will be out tomorrow!

[kingjasnah]

Is there the full list of brandersons favourite games reposted somewhere?

i dont think so? or not that ive seen. u can literally just sign up for the newsletter on his website but screw it ill just post them for u. it sure was a TRIP scrolling past these to get to the interlude though. undertale is on this list.....im shakign at the thought that adolin was based off ff10 tidus but i cant get it out of my head now

#10: Katamari Damaci

I love things that make me look at the world in a new way. Katamari did this in spades. It is an imaginative, bizarre vision with unique gameplay. It is like nothing else in the world and I love it for all its strangeness and occasional lack of gameplay polish.

I was transfixed the first time I played it, and have looked forward to it being remade and rereleased on multiple different consoles. I love the cute—and somehow creepy at the same time—storyline. It feels like a fever dream more than a game sometimes, and is probably the closest I’ll ever get to understanding what it’s like to do drugs.

#9: Undertale

This is an oddball on this list because I think it’s the only game that is not a franchise from a major studio—but is instead an indie game, which I believe was originally funded on Kickstarter.I loved how this felt like a novel as much as a game. It was one person’s vision; a single story told really well, with a huge amount of personality. The humor was just my kind of wonderful/terrible, and I was instantly enamored with the characters.That probably would have been enough, but it is a nice deconstruction of video games as a medium—and has not one, but multiple innovative gameplay mechanics. Together, the package left me enamored. This is a work of genius that I feel everyone should at least try, even if it ends up not being for them.

#8: Fallout: New Vegas

I have played all of the core Fallout games, and I was one of the (it seems few) who was really excited when it moved from turn-based tactics to first-person shooter. While Fallout 3 was good, it didn’t have the charm of the first two.New Vegas delivered on everything I was hoping to see. The charm was back, the writing sharp, the quests imaginative. The gameplay was engaging and branched in a variety of directions, the gunplay was solid, and the atmosphere immersive. I of course love the first two games in the series—but New Vegas combines everything I like in gaming into one package. (As a note, I own the Outer Worlds, and am looking forward to digging into it. Consider this item on the list a recommendation of other Obsidian games—like Knights of the Old Republic Two—regardless of genre, as I’ve found them universally to be superior to their contemporaries.)

#7 Super Mario World

When I was eleven, I flew (alone, which was very exciting to me) from Nebraska to visit my uncle Devon in Salt Lake City. Before I left, my father gave me $200 and told me to pay for my own meals while on the trip—but of course, my uncle didn’t allow this. At the end of the trip, I tried to give him the money, which he wouldn’t take.I mentioned my dad would take the money back when I got home, but that was okay. Well, my uncle would have none of that, and drove me to the local mall and made me spend it on a Nintendo Entertainment System. (This uncle, you might guess, is an awesome human being.)Since that day of first plugging it in and experiencing Mario for the first time, I was hooked. This is the only platformer on the list, as I don’t love those. But one makes an exception for Mario. There’s just so much polish, so much elegance to the control schemes, that even a guy who prefers an FPS or an RPG like me has to admit these are great games. I picked World as my favorite as it’s the one I’ve gone back to and played the most.

#7: The Curse of Monkey Island (Monkey Island 3)

I kind of miss the golden age of adventure gaming, and I don’t know that anyone ever got it as right as they did with this game. It is the pinnacle of the genre, in my opinion—no offense to Grim Fandango fans.This game came out right before gaming’s awkward teenage phase where everything moved to 3-d polygons. For a while after, games looked pretty bad, though they could do more because of the swap. But if you want to go see what life was like before that change, play Monkey Island 3. Composed of beautiful art pieces that look like cells from Disney movies, with streamlined controls (the genre had come a long way from “Get yon torch”) and fantastic voice acting, this game still plays really well.This is one of the few games I’ve been able to get my non-gamer wife to play through with me, and it worked really well as a co-op game with the two of us trying to talk through problems. It’s a lovingly crafted time capsule of a previous era of gaming, and if you missed it, it’s really worth trying all these years later. (The first and second games hold up surprisingly well too, as a note, particularly with the redone art that came out a decade or so ago.)Also, again, this one has my kind of humor.

#6: Breath of the Wild

I never thought a Zelda game would unseat A Link to the Past as my favorite Zelda, but Breath of the Wild managed it. It combined the magic of classic gameplay with modern design aesthetic, and I loved this game.There’s not a lot to say about it that others haven’t said before, but I particularly liked how it took the elements of the previous games in the series (giving you specific tools to beat specific challenges) and let you have them all at once. I like how the dungeons became little mini puzzles to beat, instead of (sometimes seemingly endless) slogs to get through. I liked the exploration, the fluidity of the controls, and the use of a non-linear narrative in flashbacks. It’s worth buying a Switch just to play this one and Mario—but in case you want, you can also play Dark Souls on Switch... (That’s foreshadowing.)

#5: Halo 2

Telling stories about Halo Two on stream is what made me think of writing this list.I’m sometimes surprised that this game isn’t talked about as much as I think it should be. Granted, the franchise is very popular—but people tend to love either Reach or games 1 or 3 more than two. Two, however, is the only one I ever wanted to replay—and I’ve done so three or four times at this point. (It’s also the only one I ever beat on Legendary.)It’s made me think on why I love this one, while so many others seem to just consider it one of many in a strong—but in many ways unexceptional—series of games. I think part of this is because I focus primarily on the single-player aspects of a game (which is why there aren’t any MMOs on this list.) Others prefer Halo games with more balanced/polished multiplayer. But I like to game by myself, and don’t really look for a multiplayer experience. (Though this is changing as I game with my sons more and more.)I really like good writing—which I suppose you’d expect. But in games, I specifically prefer writing that enhances the style of game I’m playing. Just dumping a bunch of story on me isn’t enough; it has to be suited to the gameplay and the feel of the game. In that context, I’ve rarely encountered writing as good as Halo 2. From the opening—with the intercutting and juxtaposition of the two narratives—to the quotes barked out by the marines, the writing in this game is great. It stands out starkly against other Halo games, to the point that I wonder what the difference is.Yes, Halo Two is a bombastic hero fantasy about a super soldier stomping aliens. But it has subtle, yet powerful worldbuilding sprinkled all through it—and the music...it does things with the story that I envy. It’s kind of cheating that games and films get to have powerful scores to help with mood.The guns in Two feel so much better than Halo One, and the vehicles drive far better. The only complaint I have is that it’s only half a story—as in, Halo 2 and 3 seem like they were one game broken in two pieces. And while 3 is good (and Reach does something different, which I approve of in general) neither did it for me the way Two did, and continues to do.

#3: Final Fantasy X

You probably knew Final Fantasy was coming. People often ask if the way these games handle magic was an influence upon me. All I can say is that I’ve played them since the first one, and so they’re bound to have had an influence.On one hand, these games are really strange. I mean, I don’t think we gamers stop quite often enough to note how downright bizarre this series gets. Final Fantasy doesn’t always make the most sense—but the games are always ambitious.Ten is my favorite for a couple of reasons. I felt like the worldbuilding was among the strongest, and I really connected with the characters. That’s strange, because this is one of the FF games without an angst-filled teen as the protagonist. Instead, it has a kind of stable happy-go-lucky jock as the protagonist.But that’s what I needed, right then. A game that didn’t give me the same old protagonist, but instead gave me someone new and showed me I could bond to them just as well. Ten was the first with full voice acting, and that jump added a lot for me. It has my favorite music of the series, and all together is what I consider the perfect final fantasy game. (Though admittedly, I find it more and more difficult to get into turn-based battle mechanics as I grow older.)

#2: Bloodborne

Those who follow my streams, or who read other interviews I’ve done, probably expected this series to be at or near the top. The question wasn’t whether Souls would be here, but which one to pick as my favorite.I went with Bloodborne, though it could have been any of them. (Even Dark Souls 2—which I really like, despite its reputation in the fandom.) I’ve been following FromSoftware’s games since the King’s Field games, and Demon’s Souls was a huge triumph—with the director Hidetaka Miyazaki deserving much of the praise for its design, and Dark Souls (which is really just a more polished version of Demon’s Souls).As I am a fan of cosmic horror, Bloodborne is probably my favorite overall. It really hit the mix of cosmic and gothic horror perfectly. It forced me to change up my gameplay from the other Souls games, and I loved the beautiful visuals.I am a fan of hard games—but I like hard games that are what I consider “fair.” (For example, I don’t love those impossible fan-made Mario levels, or many of the super-crazy “bullet hell”-style games.) Dark Souls is a different kind of hard. Difficult like a stern instructor, expecting you to learn—but giving you the tools to do so. It presents a challenge, rather than being hard just to be hard.If I have a problem with Final Fantasy, it’s that the games sometimes feel like the gameplay is an afterthought to telling the story. But in the Souls games, story and gameplay are intermixed in a way I’d never seen done before. You have to construct the story like an archeologist, using dialogue and lore from descriptions of in-game objects. I find this fascinating; the series tells stories in a way a book never could. I’m always glad when a game series can show off the specific strengths of the medium.In fact, this series would be #1 except for the little fact that I have way too much time on Steam logged playing...

#1: Civilization VI

This series had to take #1 by sheer weight of gameplay time. I discovered the first on a friend’s computer in the dorms my freshman year—and I can still remember the feeling of the birds chirping outside, realizing I’d been playing all night and really should get back to my own dorm room.That still happens, and has happened, with every game in the series. I have a lot of thoughts on this series, many of them granular and too specific for this list. (Like, it’s obvious AI technology isn’t up to the task of playing a game this complex—so could we instead get a roguelike set of modifiers, game modes, etc. to liven up the games, rather than just having a difficulty slider that changes a few simple aspects of the game?)I’ll try not to rant, because I really do love this game series. A lot of people consider IV to be the pinnacle of the series, but after V unstacked units—and VI unstacked cities—there was no way I could ever go back. If for some reason, you’ve never played this grand patriarch of the 4X game genre, it’s about starting with a single stone-age settler who can found a city—then playing through eras of a civilization, growing your empire, to try to eventually get offworld with a space program. (Or, if you prefer, conquering the world.)It’s a load of fun in the way I like to have fun, and I feel like the series has only gotten better over the years. My hat is off to the developers, who keep reinventing the series, rather than making the exact same game over and over.Now, about that request for difficulty modes...

there are runner ups but for the sake of anyone whos on mobile and cant get past a read more (first of all omg im SO sorry) ill refrain. anyway he thought WHAT loz game was the best before botw?

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Dragon Dancer IV: Paranoia

The bright light of day shined in a halo around the black out curtains by the time I opened my eyes. I’d never been so exhausted. 

After studying Herzog’s documents through the night, we’d decided to stop at a 24hour Ramen shop at 3 am. Then at 4 am, we came under a subversive attack.

The Academy had tricked Crow into playing a recording on the public broadcast system. On the surface, it seemed like it was a generic PSA to help convince Nono go home to her father. Deep within the audio, however, was the sound of Herzog’s clapper.

Lu Mingfei completely lost his mind and went into a draconized state. They’d fired every sort ammunition and rocket and missile at him from a helicopter, but he somehow survived long enough to get back to the warehouse where we’d been hiding out.

An agent, who turned out to be my friend Susie, followed us there and in the ensuing fight, I’d slashed open a canister of kerosene. Chu Zihang joined in the battle, flicked a lighter and set it on fire.

We’d managed to escape all of that. But by that time, the sun was coming up and we were three bloody foreigners, one of them a naked injured man, out in broad daylight.

Who should come to our rescue but the same familiar face who had brought me to the Takamagahara a year ago.

Su Enxi.

A year ago, this friend of Lu Mingfei’s saved us when I had teleported from the wreckage of the Trieste. Kaguya and the Japanese Executive department had us on the run. Johann was dying from the ravages of his own dragonblood and needed treatment, but an attack by a gang drove us from our hide out.

There in the street, where Johann lay, she pulled up in a van and demanded we get inside.

So I got a sense of deja vu, when once again, she opened the door to a large SUV and peered out at us, her blonde hair spilling over her thin shoulders, and asked if we needed a lift.

She didn’t take us back to the Takamagahara, however, but to the love hotel that Lu Mingfei said he’d stayed with Erii.

They had bought the place and were running it.

Why Lu Mingfei had such rich people following him around was as big of a mystery as why he turned into a dragon at the sound of percussion.

I sighed, and let out a weak moan, testing out my voice. The toxin that Susie had used on me was temporary, thankfully. My voice was still a bit weak, but I no longer choked every time I wanted to open my mouth and say something.

I sat up and moved to the edge of the King Size heart shaped bed. They didn’t keep cribs here, but Ru’Yi was happy to sleep on the floor. It was the longest sleep she’d had and I didn’t blame her. Her eyes were closed, her little belly rising up and down. I smiled.

I checked the clock to find it was 5 pm. I’d just woken up and the day was almost over.  

I dialed Nono’s room. She picked up.

“Yes?”

“Hey, it’s me Carli. How’s Mingfei?”

“He woke up this morning, but passed back out again. But he’s healing. He’s regained movement in his arms. It’s just painful.”

“And Zihang?”

“He’s asleep still. Can I talk to you about him, for just a moment?”

“Sure!”

“What are you going to do if he never turns back into the man you remember?”

I sighed wearily. “I can’t think that way, Nono. I have to keep believing this will turn out. I can’t lose hope.”

“I understand how you feel. But I also agree with something Susie said.”

“What was it?”

“You need to think about your daughter.”

I exhaled and leaned against the headboard.

Nono continued. “This is getting too serious. I understand why you ran from the Academy but... this is going to get more and more difficult. We can’t be worrying about things like diapers.”

I laughed a little. “Yeah... What do you suggest?”

“Stay here with Crow. There’s this place to hide out. And also the Shrine.”

“What about Zihang?”

“You trusted Mingfei to find him before right? And he did find him. Trust him to finish the job.”

I was silent for a few seconds. “Okay...”

I hung up the phone and looked up at the gaudy mirrored ceiling. My mind went back to the scene in the warehouse. Johann Chu had just been watching the fight between Nono and Susie, until Nono dove into a hailstorm of black iron daggers. Then he picked up a bookcase full of thick heavy books and heaved it over to keep them from killing Nono.

I paused and rewound that scene in my head.

No one in their right mind would think such a feat were possible for anyone, much less for themselves... and even less if they thought they were a fifteen year old kid as Johann supposedly did.

What possessed him to believe that he could haul off and fling a heavy object like that?

I imagined a fast forward button, remembering his fight with Susie.

The way he fought was with a killer’s eye. He’d wasted no movement on disabling attacks. Had Susie been a little slower, he would have gutted her. He was aiming to kill. Does a 15 year old study at a children’s dojo to learn to kill?

My conclusion was no.

I sat up a little straighter. 

The idea of his suddenly knowing he could chuck a bookcase after forgetting everything else was further evidence that the theory of time travel was wrong. Johann hadn’t gone back in time and made the decision to stay in Nibelungen. Then why couldn’t he remember me and Mingfei?

I pounded my fist into my palm.

The same reason no one else could remember him! The same Soul Skill that prevented people from remembering him kept him from remembering us!

But Toyama’s gentle question lingered. “So this dragon is deceiving everyone but us? Why?” I asked out loud. I leaned my face in my hands. “Why?” 

Whoever did this must know us and Johann Chu. To pick us out of the millions of people on Earth to deliberately allow us to remember Chu Zihang and then modify Chu Zihang’s memories so that he thought he turned around to save his father. But this was a false memory. He forgot me and Ru’Yi and Cassell and dragons and thought he was in the Nibelungen since 15. But he didn’t actually remember being there!

Whoever did this knew who Chu Zihang was! He knew who we were!

“What does it want? Why do this?” I whispered through my teeth, holding my head.

A thin whimper brought me out of my circling thoughts. I rushed to scoop up Ru’Yi before she could feel the slightest bit of fear and held her close to me to feed her. No doubt she would be starving after such a long sleep.

I settled her against me and looked down into her eyes. She looked directly back at me, reading my face a moment but then her eyes unfocused as the milk began to flow and sating her hunger became top priority.

My mind continued to pick through what I knew. This time I rewound all the way back to the beginning.

Shortly after Mingfei’s return, the Dragon Skeletons were stolen and the blame was pinned on Mingfei. Surely this was related. I knew that dragons devoured their own kind in order to attain more power. Was all this just to get those skeletons?

It may seem overkill but with a dragon skeleton to devour, a dragon could attain god-level powers.

But it still didn’t explain: Why target Mingfei? 

The images of the woodblock flashed through my head. There was only one person who knew to use that woodblock and I’d said his name.

Herzog.

Mingfei was the person who had defeated him. If he had a second chance, surely, he would go after Mingfei first.

“Crow said he got that video from the Academy? Who at Cassell knew to use the woodblock to provoke that reaction?!” I hissed. “Someone associated with ... Herzog...”

My heart squeezed in my chest and I could feel myself start to panic. “Wait... someone associated with Herzog... is at Cassell?”

Wasn’t it true that Herzog only copied Bondarev? And Bondarev had access to first hand information? And wasn’t Cassell college such a repository of information?

Could someone who could modify EVAs code to stop protecting us, also modify the evidence against Mingfei?

While I was being interrogated, they showed me the video footage of the attack on the Principal. I saw how it was so fast that not even the man with Time Zero could block it. Maybe a hybrid couldn’t do such a thing, but maybe a dragon could.

A dragon... associated with Herzog and Bondarev... at Cassell?

Could the person who had caused me so much misery be the puppeteer behind the most violent and powerful deep state in the entire world? Or... a dragon behind that person?

I shook my head.

I couldn’t stay with Crow. Crow had to play footsie with that organization. The longer we were here, the longer he was in danger. I bet if I said anything to him about what I thought, he’d be killed just for knowing too much.

I looked down at Ru’Yi as she sucked greedily at my breast and realized that if what happened to my firstborn son happened to her, I wouldn’t be able to survive it!

Someone knocked at the door. My whole body jolted. I grabbed Tongzi from the night stand. If there was a dragon behind that door, this was a blade that could kill it.

“Who is it?” I asked, my voice still hoarse from the toxin.

“It’s Zihang.”

I relaxed somewhat and checked the clock. It had been thirty minutes so it was plausible that he had woken up and gotten dressed to come to my door.

Ru’Yi fought me when I tried to pull her off. I didn’t want her to start crying. So with the baby still firmly attached I made my way as quietly as I could to the door and peered out the peep hole. 

He was standing there.  At least, the person who looked like him. Couldn’t Herzog change forms?

“First, tell me the name you gave me.”

Zihang seemed confused a moment. “Chufeng?”

“Right. Okay. What is it?” 

“I’m going to get some ice cream. Did you need anything?”

“By yourself?” I asked, appalled.

“Yes.”

“No you are not. Wait. I’m going with you.”

“Okay.”

[repentantsky]

9 Things I’d like to see at E3, 2021

So E3 2021 is a thing. It’s gonna be all digital, and several companies have already signed up to join, sounds like a good deal, but the question is, will it be what we normally expect out of E3, or will it be more like Summer Game Fest Last Year, where everything that looked like it was gonna be great, but just turned out to be okay? Who can say, but I have some...suggestions, that might make it better, along with some game announcements, that might make it all it should be cracked up to be. 

9. No low quality, at home interviews during the main show 

E3 has had a history of doing interviews during game shows to try and break pace a little, and keep people from being too excited, only to potentially be let down later. However, possibly the worst problem with Summer Game Fest last year, was the at home interviews, which broke pacing during game announcements in a way I can’t imagine was on purpose, and for many, was the time to take a bathroom break, or simply look away for a while. It’s important of course to hear from developers about their projects, and they can divulge some interesting information about games, that either puts something confusing into context, or is accidently leaked, but when we watch shows about game releases, we want to see the games. Interviews should be held in between shows, or better yet, the days following the conferences themselves. 

8. Nintendo finally talks about the big three 

While it’s safe to say Nintendo has done some banger numbers over the last year espeically, due to better console availability, which I never thought I’d say about Nintendo but here we are, it’s also safe to say that fans have been waiting for literal years on Bayonetta 3, Metroid Prime 4, and Breath of the Wild 2. While some have been more patient than others, and of course I understand there’s a flipping pandemic going on, Nintendo told us far too long ago about these games, or the restart of their development, and Breath of the Wild 2 was promised to at least get an update this year, and E3 seems like the best place to do it, especially after their last direct, one that was more than a year in waiting, and left so many people disappointed. And this is coming from someone who had literally only hoped to be excited about one thing, and it didn’t happen The future of how they present games, almost feels like it’s in question after such a show, which did not justify itself, so hopefully, they can finally let everyone walk away happy, and talk about the projects that have been generation the most excitement, for literal years now.

7. Space things out better

You might now know this, I only made one list about it after all, and literally no one reacted to it, but I’m a huge wrestling fan, and one of the promotions I watch, is WWE. Now, WWE is about to launch WrestleMania, their equal to E3 in a lot of ways, and are splitting it up over two days, and that goes for their third brand NXT as well, because they have a history of making the show sometimes 8 hours long. For fans of video games, watching The Game Awards, which can be two to three hours long, is arduous, and tiring, and E3, can also have that same effect. I remember in 2019, I literally fell asleep watching Bethesda’s conference, because I was so tired trying to write about the previous shows in between them, never mind actually watching them, that I was burnt out. Since E3 is going fully digital this year, and everyone is going to be in that same boat, it would be nice if we didn’t have too many shows, spanning over a near 12 hour period, which was happened before, making people stay up late to enjoy what they want to, or you know, work, which is free promotion for whatever gets announced. Spacing the shows out to no more than three a day, and giving people enough time to get their thoughts together, would just be really nice. 

6. Devolver Digital, tries a different style

Look, I don’t hate Devolver Digital’s approach to talking about games at E3, but what I do hate, is them telling the same jokes over and over again, and expecting everyone to laugh, because you know, it’s so funny when something that’s already been said, or shown, is modified ever so slightly for years on end. I’m not saying they can’t still tell jokes, please do, E3 is as much a good time as it is stressful depending on who you are, so the change of pace can at times be a lot of fun, but the last time they had a “conference”, it was a slog, and generally left me feeling annoyed, and I can’t help but feel I’m not the only one. They want to be different, I say that’s great, but they need to do it in a way that for one, is actually different, because their style has become a cliché in and of itself, and where they don’t spend time talking about fake games, because it’s hard to know at times what’s real and what isn’t. I honestly thought the last time they did one, the final game they talked about was just a play on the “one more thing” trope conferences have, and when I later realized it wasn’t, I never got that first sense of hype, and so lost interest, and that’s not a good business model. We don’t even know at this point if they’re going to declare for E3, and since it was announced late, it might be too hard to get a show at all, but if they do show up, or even when they next do a conference, it would be nice if they considered this line of thinking.

5. Drop the “Exclusive Online Portal” idea

Yeah I don’t know what the ESA was thinking with this one, but they mentioned that E3 will be streaming from an exclusive online portal, and not only do we not know what that means, but no one flipping cares! We’re all going to watching it on YouTube, Twitch, or dare I say it but it’s possible, Facebook Gaming, and any other platform is completely useless. We are all tired of hearing, download a new program to do a thing you can already do on other platforms, PC gamers especially, stop releasing new flipping launchers and...sorry, that’s for another list in the future perhaps, but the point stands. You might get streamers to download, or go to whatever site they need to, to watch the shows, but everyone else, is either going to watch those streams, or as it often happens, watch the highlights at a later time, so to add a potentially extra step to that process, is just not going to go anywhere, and since E3 will be free to watch, it’s not like this is going to be a good way to make money, unless you do plan to do the following...

4. Throwing flipping ads at everyone between shows or otherwise

Look, I get it, even an online show that’s going to be talking about games costs money to make, and so money must be made by other means, many of which are not available to the ESA without people actually being present, but the thing about E3 is, as much as we all love it, it is one massive ad, and even though it’s an add we like, it’s not one that needs too many ads thrown at it beyond what it already has. There are other, less annoying ways to make money, like having products from the games announced be available at a store online that people can access, that sees them getting part of the profit, or something of that nature, but this portal that was mentioned, seems like a place where the ESA can just throw ads at people all day, and that just seems like a horrible idea. A lot of people don’t see E3 as an ad, even though it absolutely is, and blowing away the smoke and mirrors that it’s not, by throwing countless ads at people for the sake of trying to make money, might be the end of E3 as we know it. 

3. Don’t spend too much time talking about games that are coming out close to the event, or just came out

Like I said, E3 is one big, massive ad, and for the most part, that’s totally alright, but E3 also has a habit of sneaking in little bits talking about games, that are coming out during the week of, or very close to the shows, to the point of being annoying. Most of the time these ads are short, show nothing new, and generally kill the pace of the conferences on display. While it’d be one thing to try and shadow drop a game this way, because we all love a good shadow drop, we really don’t need ads for games like FF7 Intergrade, Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart, or flipping Mario Golf: Super Rush. We know those games are coming, we are paying attention, give us a little credit, and save that for games that could use the push like Neptunia: ReVerse, Legend of Mana, or maybe even Scarlett Nexus who actually in way, has to compete with Mario Golf. This might be more a developer problem, and E3 itself might actually have little to no control over this, but whoever does it, needs to do it right.

2. Xbox needs to stop lying, and go big

I love Xbox, I really do, for whatever reason it’s become my go to place for physical indie games, and whenever I want to play a shooter, I start thinking green, but in their conferences, Phil Spencer has a tendency to oversell what Xbox is going to show, by talking about how many games are going to be at the show, or by constantly mentioning how Xbox is more powerful than it’s competitor consoles, like it does any good for the bottom line of the company. I don’t want to hear Phil say they are going to show off 80 games during their show, and have half of them be ports, or shown off in a montage. Doing that means everyone has to go look up a large portion of what they actually announce to learn anything, and that’s no fun. I don’t want montages during E3 at all, and while I’m at it, Xbox espeically needs to bring in the big guns. I’m talking Halo Infinite, Gears 6, the next Forza game, and maybe, finally, a Japanese exclusive title that will get people really hyped. Xbox might just have free reign over the show on the day they present, but another show that has extremely mixed opinions like in 2019, might not be the best thing ever. 

1. GET. SONY. 

Obviously we know that Sony and the PlayStation brand haven’t been associated with E3 for a while now, and I get it, it’s kind of hard to justify going down to L.A. every year, when an online digital show, saves a whole bunch of money, and can get people just as hyped as if they had been there, but this year, everything is online, and Sony’s State of Play’s have been a mixed reaction as a whole. Taking them to E3 not only sets up more hype for them, but it also gives people something they really need right now, something close to the norm, with all of console developers, showing off their best. E3 2019, just felt weaker, and too safe without Sony there, and last year was a total, long winded disaster because of Summer Game Fest. If the ESA is really going to go for this, and give it an earnest shot, and give us the best that they can, they need Sony to show up and blow our minds with, I don’t know, God of War 2, Spyro 4 (hopefully) and a new IP or two to really get the show to being considered one of the best. E3 will probably be alright regardless of if they are there or not, but if they are, the chances of it being truly great, go up in spades. 

And that’s my list, did I miss anything else you can think of? Let me know in the comments below, like this list if it interested you, reblog it if you love it, and have a wonderful day. 

[crazy-little-cool-cat]

Hand in Glove - Chapter 29 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: I have a problem, alright? In the words of the greatest poet to ever live, Mr. Kanye West - “I’m tired. You’re Tired. Jesus wept.” Also not sure if there are any typos left or not so if there are just pretend they don’t exist ok byeeeeee.

Warnings: Smut ahead. Kind of. 

Word Count: ~3K

Chapter 1, Chapter 2,  Chapter 3,  Chapter 4,  Chapter 5,  Chapter 6,  Chapter 7,  Chapter 8,  Chapter 9,  Chapter 10,  Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14 , Chapter 15 , Chapter 16 , Chapter 17 , Chapter 18 , Chapter 19 , Chapter 20 , Chapter 21 , Chapter 22 , Chapter 23 , Chapter 24, Chapter 25 , Chapter 26, Chapter 27 , Chapter 28

“Do we write our own vows?” Ben asked and handed Rory her plastic spoon. “Like, is that a thing we can do?”

“I think so, yeah.” Annie covered her mouth, speaking while she chewed. She swallowed and made funny faces at Rory. “Can you believe she’s 10 months old?”

“Can you believe we’re getting married next week?” Ben countered.

“No,” Annie confessed. “Not really.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“Yeah?” Annie leaned forward, intrigued.

“I know you said you don’t want a big wedding -”

“Not this again.”

“- but what if we do something small scale? After we get legally married. Just a big party for friends and family.”

“Ben…”

“Look, I humoured you long enough. I’ve basically let you walk all over me. I need something, Annie.” Ben dropped his fork with a clatter. “You’re not alone in this relationship.”

“Why are you so obsessed with this?” Annie dropped her fork too. “Why is it so important for you?”

“Because it just is.” Ben glared at her. “This isn’t Shitstorm Annie’s exclusive one-woman show, you know.”

“Call me a shitstorm again. Go on.”

“Shitstorm.”

“You know what?” Annie pushed her chair back. “I’m done.”

“The hell you are. Sit down.” Ben said calmly.

“Excuse me?” Annie scoffed.

“We’re having dinner with our daughter. Sit. Down.” Ben bounced his knee impatiently. “Grow up, will you?”

“How dare you -”

“If you mention me being away in the States again, Annabelle, so help me God, there will be no wedding. At all. Secret or not.” Ben’s jaw jutted forward slightly as he clenched it. “I’m so bloody sick of you holding it against me.”

Annie sat back down, doe-eyed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen Ben so riled up.

“Now, listen very carefully, because I’m only going to say this once.” Ben wiped Rory’s chin with her bib. “You got what you wanted. On your terms. Now, it’s my turn.”

“Do you honestly think it’s fair to invite your family to our wedding, when mine won’t be there?” Annie quipped.

“They could be if you invited them.” Ben shrugged. “It’s totally up to you.”

“You are my family, you bellend.” Annie closed her fists. “It’s like talking to a bloody rock.”

“You’re such a control freak, Annabelle.” Ben groaned. “Let it go. For once in your life.”

###

Annie looked in the mirror as she tried on an ivory colored dress. She scrutinized her reflection, nit-picking every little flaw and imperfection she could possibly find.

“Annie you’ve been glaring at yourself for fifteen minutes now.” Jamie held his head in his hands. “Please. You look beautiful. I want to leave.”

“No. This isn’t right. The hem is too long.”

“The hem is perfect.” Jamie sighed. “The neckline is perfect. The waist is perfect. Everything is bloody perfect! You look like a bloody angel.” Jamie stood up and walked over to where Annie stood. “You’re a spawn of the devil, but you look like an angel.”

“Do you think he’ll like it?” Annie looked up at her friend, wide-eyed and childlike.

“I know he will. How could he not?”

Annie fidgeted with the hem of her dress. It went up to just over her knees. She shifted her weight from one leg to the other, nodding to herself.

“Alright. Let’s get out of here, then.”

“Thank God!”

###

Ben spent most of his days home alone, working on writing his vows. He bit his nails as he stared at the piece of paper in front of him. His brain seemed to have forgotten how to use words properly, and went completely blank. With the wedding ceremony fast approaching, Ben could feel his entire body tense up from the stress.

They’ve planned the entire day out. Rory will be in daycare. Brian and Roger will meet Ben at the chapel he and Annie picked and triple-checked that is authorised by the Register Office. Jamie will drive Annie from set and bring her there. Once the ceremony is over and done with, they’ll pick Rory up and go have dinner at a restaurant, all three of them.

They even made reservations.

Roger gifted them two of his cymbal rings as a wedding present. Brian said his present will be a surprise. Jamie has done above and beyond to help Annabelle make this wedding happen on her terms, she couldn’t even imagine him giving anything more. In her words, ‘he risked his own bloody marriage for us, that’s more than enough.’

Ben picked up the pen and started drumming a beat on the edge of the table. When nothing came to him even still, he did the only thing he could think of. He started drinking.

###

“Ben?” Annie called from the front door, holding Rory in her arms. “Are you home?”

“Yeah!” Ben’s deep voice carried from the kitchen. “Juss’ doin’ stuff.”

Annie followed his voice and found him sitting in his underwear, in the midst of empty beer bottles, a half finished bottle of whiskey and a sea of balled up papers around him. His hair stuck out in every possible direction.

“What the hell?” she managed to force out through a smile and put Rory down on the floor.

“Well, I -” Ben burped, “oof, sorry. I’m writing the vows!”

“You’re sloshed.”

“I needed to relax, alright?” Ben took another sip of his whiskey. “Get the juices flowing.”

“Ben, where are your pants?”

“I got overheated.”

“What happened to your shirt?”

“I think I’m allergic to it.” Ben shrugged. “Shoo, Annie! You’re interrupting!”

He didn’t even notice the bag she was carrying, he was so keen on finishing the task at hand. With the tip of his tongue poking out through the corner of his mouth, Ben furiously scribbled across the page.

###

“That settles it.” Clara wiped her fingers on her napkin, finishing her lunch. “Your boyfriend is allergic to all clothes.”

“Ha, ha.” Annie rolled her eyes playfully. “He looked like a child doing his homework.”

“Aw, cute!” Mike chimed in. “What was he writing?”

“Oh.” Annie froze, trying to come up with an explanation for Ben’s drunken, naked writing session the previous night. “I think he’s writing a story.”

“A story?” Clara raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Kept telling me to shoo and that I’m interrupting.” Annie hoped her voice didn’t give anything away. “Probably a Clannie story.”

Clara snorted and doubled over laughing.

###

“Ben!” Annie shouted as she entered the house. “I’m here!”

He texted her in the middle of the day that she needs to come home because he is having a serious condition that needs tending to. Ben hardly ever got sick, and when he did - he turned into the biggest, neediest baby. Annie made use of her acting skills and convinced the production team that she’s incredibly ill and could use the rest of the day off to rest.

“Come here!” Ben called from the bedroom. Annie climbed up the stairs in a rush to find Ben standing at the foot of the bed. He looked relieved to see her. “Come here for a second.”

“What’s going on?” Annie looked him up and down, trying to see what was amiss. He seemed fine. Clothes on. Great spirits. “Ben, did you call me home because you got lonely?”

“Lonely?” Ben scoffed. “This goes beyond loneliness.”

“What?”

“Just…” Ben grunted uncomfortably.

“Ben what the hell are you doing?”

“This is serious, okay?” he started to undo his belt and popped the button on his jeans open, pulling the fly down.

“For the love of God -”

“Look at this. Look at it!” Ben stood, his jeans pooled around his ankles, arms outstretched to the sides. He pointed with both hands at his crotch. “Look at how hard I am.”

“I’ll pick up a medal on the way home.” Annie rolled her eyes and turned around.

“Oh, you’re not going anywhere.” Ben stated. “This?” he palmed his boxers. “This is just because I was thinking of you. Not even in a sexual way. You popped into my head and there it is!”

“Ben, you had me seriously worried that something might be wrong and -” Annie gasped. “Will you stop playing with yourself?!”

“Only if you’ll play with me instead.” Ben stepped out of his jeans and approached her. “Do you have any idea how much I need you right now?”

“Ben, I lied to everyone to get home as fast as I could and I come home to this?” Annie stepped back. “What is the matter with you?”

“I love you. I want you.” Ben started counting off answers. “I’m throbbing just thinking about you, going about your day.” He swooped forward and grabbed her, pushing his hips forward. “Feel it.”

“Have you gone completely mad?” Annie laughed as he pushed his cock against her tummy. “Ben!”

“We’re getting married. This time, tomorrow.” Ben wrapped his fingers around the column of Annie’s neck, giving it a gentle squeeze. “And I am so turned on by the mere thought of having you for myself. Forever.”

“You’re a lunatic.”

“You’re wearing too many clothes.” Ben observed.

“Are you high?”

“No.”

“Drunk?”

“Nope.”

“Just utterly insane, then?”

“Yes.”

###

“Nervous?” Brian wiggled his eyebrows at Ben.

“Not really. Just… anxious to see her.” Ben bit his bottom lip and shifted his weight from foot to foot.

The door to the chapel opened and Jamie walked in, holding it open for Annie. As if she was an actual dream, she appeared in the doorway, the light from outside casting a soft halo around her. A flower-crown weaved in her long hair, she looked like a porcelain doll in her Ivory dress. Ben’s breath caught in his chest at the sight of her.

Jamie offered his arm, and Annie held onto it, allowing him to lead her to the altar where Ben was standing with the registrar. She felt wobbly on her feet, and she wasn’t sure if the situation made her so unsteady or whether it was Roger and Brian’s presence there.

“Wait, wait!” Brian said and turned around to grab his Red Special. “Carry on now.”

To the sound of Brian’s guitar playing the Wedding March, Annie walked down the aisle towards her future husband. They both smiled so bright, it was almost blinding. As soon as she reached Ben, she grabbed his hand and held onto it for dear life. The registrar spoke, but neither Annie nor Ben listened. They just looked at each other in pure adoration.

“Hey, space cadets!” Roger snapped them out of their stupur. “Vows?”

“Oh, yeah.” Ben chuckled sheepishly and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “Annie. You ran into my life screaming Silly Gwilly and turned my whole world upside down. At a wedding, oddly enough. Never in my wildest dreams did I even think I’d be standing here right now, at this very moment. All it took was one kiss and I knew that you will be mine, no matter what. God knows you didn’t go down without a fight, kicking and screaming.”

 Annie chuckled. 

“It’s what I love about you most. You’re red-blooded. Fierce. You go after what you want, no matter the consequences. And yet, you listen. You learn. You help me learn, as well.” 

Ben smiled as he looked down at the paper and folded it back. 

“Today, I vow to love you and protect you, fiercely and forever, with every fiber of my being. Even when you’re irritating me beyond belief. No matter how far away I am, I will always love you and come home to you.”

“Well, then.” Annie let out a shaky chuckle as Ben stuffed the paper back in his slacks pocket. 

Her hands shook as she reached for her piece of paper. 

“I’m going to start this off by saying this: Ben Jones, you are the most infuriating man I have ever met. I love you for it. You let me be myself, but you put me in my place when I get out of hand. You’re my voice of reason and sensibility. My shelter.” 

Ben bit his bottom lip and smiled like a fool. 

“You took every notion I had of relationships and companionship and tossed it out the bloody window, reframing my entire mind. Because of you, I let myself leave my comfort zone and I ended up doing things I never thought I’d do. Childbirth was a big one of them. You gave me Rory and Franks, and you showed me what love is supposed to do.” 

Annie gulped and took a deep breath.

“You’ve stayed with me through thick and thin, even when I did my best to push you away. You are my soldier. My angel. My worst nightmare, at times. I will kill and die for you. I’ll be there for you through rain and sunshine and the end of the bloody world, for that matter. I love you, fiercely and forever.”

Ben and Annie exchanged rings and went through the motions of the ceremony, signing the wedding register obediently.

Thus, they were pronounced husband and wife.

###

Ben entered the dimly-lit bedroom quietly, smiling at Annie. She the covers pulled up to her chin, a playful glint in her eyes. Rory was sound asleep, and they were married.

“What’re you hiding over there?” Ben asked as he approached the bed. “You’re up to something. You’ve got the look.”

“See for yourself.” Annie shrugged.

Ben lifted the covers and took a long look at Annie’s naked body, her skin pale against the dark sheets. His eyes scanned her slowly, from her toes all the way up to the top of her head.

“Come and perform your husbandly duty?” Annie teased him. “Let’s consummate this bitch.”

They both cracked up laughing as Ben took off his boxers and rolled into bed next to Annie.

“Is it strange that it feels like the very first time again?” Annie whispered.

“Not at all,” Ben cleared his throat, and leaned in, his lips just brushing Annie’s. “I’m even more nervous now, actually.”

“Yeah?” Annie smiled and felt her body melt into Ben’s touch as he nodded and run his fingers through her hair. “Maybe it’s -”

Ben cut Annie off with a lingering kiss to her lips. Pulling apart, a blush rose on their cheeks as their heartbeats picked up. They’ve done this over a million times now, but never as husband and wife.

Annie caressed Ben’s jaw, looking up at him in awe. He smiled and kissed her lips again, pressing soft, lingering kisses to her lips. They weren’t usually this tender with each other, but this time was different. They couldn’t explain how so, they just felt that it was. They had forever, now. No need to rush.

Ben rolled himself on top of Annie, leaning his weight on his forearms. Their kiss deepend, changing from soft and sweet to feverish and needy. As Annie spread her legs wider, Ben slipped inside of her, pressing his forehead to the pillow, right next to Annie’s head. A whole flock of butterflies unleashed themselves as he moaned in her ear, bottoming out.

They stayed still, physically connected. Annie ran her hands up and down Ben’s back, her hips rolling slightly. Giving Ben a physical hint - she needs movement. Friction. Ben pulled himself almost all the way out and slammed himself back in. Annie’s soft moans were music to his ears.

###

“Good morning, Mrs. Jones.” Ben’s raspy voice woke her up the next morning.

“Time’s it?” Annie mumbled into the pillow.

“The sun is just coming up. Was about to go have a piss but then I saw you.” Ben snuggled closer to her. “Bodily functions can wait.”

“Mmm.” Annie moaned softly, still sleepy.

“Fiercely and forever.” Ben whispered as she drifted back off.

“Fiercely and forever.”

###

“Mum. Dada.”

Ben and Annie froze in their tracks as they went about making breakfast and getting Rory ready for the day.

“Did she just -” Ben pointed at his daughter.

“Dada. Mum!”

Annie looked at Ben, frowning.

“Mum mum! Dada!” Rory cooed and chattered, clapping to herself.

“Yes, baby?” Ben spoke. Rory turned her head and flashed him a somewhat toothy smile.

“Dada!”

“Oh my God!” Annie gasped. “Did she just say her first words?”

“I think she did!”

“Oh, my clever Aurora!” Annie picked her up from her highchair and cuddled her. “Such a smart girl!”

###

“You still want your little ‘party’?” Annie asked Ben about two weeks later. “For the family and friends.” She clarified when Ben looked at her as if she spoke in tongues.

“Yeah. Yes.” Ben nodded.

“If we do that…” Annie started.

“We’ll do it right. Plan ahead, at least six months. Make it perfect.” Ben smiled. “Are you sure?”

“You deserve it.” Annie shrugged.

“You will be the death of me, Annabelle Lee-Jones.” Ben sighed and walked over to Annie, squeezing her in a hug.

Annie’s stomach flipped and turned, making her sick. Third day in a row.

“Again?” Ben called after her as she bolted for the loo. “Maybe you should see a doctor?”

###

“Come again?” Annie looked at Dr. McCarthy, her mouth open in shock. She thought she misheard. She was sure there has to be some mistake. “I’m what, now?”

“Pregnant. With child.” Dr. McCarthy kept her face and voice even. “You have a bun in the oven, love.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Facts are facts, dear.” Dr. McCarthy pursed her lips. “The IUD is effective, but not 100%. 99.2%, actually. Seems like you’re the goddess of fertility and your partner has some almighty sperm because nothing can stop you two from making babies, it seems.”

“Are you serious?” Annie’s hands started shaking. “This can actually happen?”

“Rarely, but yes.”

“Huh.” Annie huffed with a frown. “That explains a lot, actually.”

“Yeah.”

“So, do we just keep it in there? Let the spawn play with it while it grows?” Annie grimaced.

“Well, no.” Dr. McCarthy said, slipping on her latex gloves. “The thing’s coming out. Now.”

“Oh boy.”

########

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