#Abuse Ment tw

[system404singletnotfound]

This is your reminder that abusive people can do good things, but they are still abusive!

They can help you

They can save your life

They can be nice to you

But this doesn’t excuse their abuse, and it doesn’t make your experience any less valid

[the-shinysnorlax]

God I’m begging. On all hands and knees. If you are going to write Miguel in a fic. Read his comics. Go to his wiki page. Do RESEARCH. Because I am sick and tired of people mischaracterizing Miguel ESPECIALLY here on Tumblr. It’s ridiculous.

Like my guy is not flirtatious. He’s a pathetic sad little nerd (Affectionate) who alienates himself from everyone and doesn’t know how to express his feelings so he just becomes overtly sarcastic. That’s Miguel.

Also y’all. REMEMBER THAT GABRIEL EXISTS. HE HAS A FAMILY.

Lastly Miguel was abused as a child. Hes tried unaliving himself. Miguel has trauma that isn’t just his daughter dying.

So yeah. Miguel is a complex character. I get it. But again, it is not hard to do research on him and his character. I beg. I’m tired of the blatant Mischaracterization of him. Please please PLEASE read his comics or at least read his wiki page. Anything. I’m done with him being written as a completely different character.

[satanictheist]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but

Satan is against child abuse.

Satan is against p*do/zoo/necrophilia.

Satan is against rape.

Satan is against racism.

Satan is against antisemitism.

Satan is against islamophobia.

Satan is against queerphobia.

Satan doesn’t support bigotry, harmful ideologies, and abuse/assault.

[mimikyu-chr]

I’m a disabled person and I wish people would stop seeing some of the things my partner does for me as abusive or bad, because if he doesn’t do them I would probably harm myself or put myself in bad situations. He has to do these things for me because of my disabilities, so it’s not as black and white as ‘abuse’ and ‘not abuse’.

He has to check my outfits for me. It’s not because he doesn’t want me dressing a certain way or wearing certain things, it’s so I don’t wear clothes that’ll end up putting me in danger because of the weather. I have no ability to judge temperature until I’m out and doing what I’m doing, so I rely on him, especially to make sure I don’t overheat in the summer because that’d mean I’d faint. In cold weather he finds me tights, hoodies or jackets that match the style of outfit I’ve decided to wear but will keep me at a good temperature, and in the heat he helps me with knowing what layers to not wear, or suggests things like same-colour shorts instead of jeans or trousers, for example.

He has to help me with money a lot, and I don’t get access to money I need to save. This is because I have very poor impulse control and is actually something I suggested, which is mostly to make sure that when things have to be saved for over a few months that I don’t accidentally spend it. I can’t keep in my head that ‘X amount of money needs to be saved for Y date’, I see ‘I have X amount of money, and the thing I want costs Y amount, so I can buy the thing’. He also keeps food and travel money on him when we go out, as he can categorise what his money is for in his brain, and I can’t.

He usually has a lot of control over what and when I eat, because I can’t read my body cues very well. He knows when I’d typically eat at university because then I eat when other people do, and he makes sure I have food on that schedule. He gives me choices, but my food is what he makes for me as I can’t usually use knives and cook because of my disabilities. I tic, and have poor impulse control, so cooking can be dangerous for me.

He also has to keep my medications for me, and give me what I need when I need it. I often forget to take my medication on my own, and I also have accidentally taken double doses a few times. I also am at risk of harming myself because of my mental illness, so someone else minding my meds gets rid of that.

Anyway, these are just the things my partner does for me. A lot of disabled people need a carer, partner or family member to do things for them that if done out of malice would be seen as abuse, but they’re done to look after us. You shouldn’t make assumptions about these things, if you’re unsure then ask if the person is in a safe situation, but don’t push the idea that they’re being abused onto them.

[niche-writings]

hunter wittebane-noceda - general hcs.

this man loves physical touch (not that kind y'all nasty mfs)- hand-holding, hugs, shoulder pats, etc. he's touch-starved as hell. he'll probably cry on you if you hug him, but only if he's well-rested enough not to fall asleep instantly.

hugs from people he trusts are really the only way he feels safe... even when he's by himself, he's always on edge. it feels good to know somebody has his back.

that's probably why he's so tired all the time tbh. never been well-rested a day in his life because he just doesn't feel safe enough to let himself relax. dude probably has muscle knots for days.

became the golden guard at thirteen. his hands were very badly scarred on his first mission (like in the moringmark comic) when he had to dig his troop of scouts out from underneath a landslide. he ended up with bad nerve damage from the cold of the mountains, and his hands still shake pretty badly, even when he tries really hard to hold them still. he wears compression gloves to help combat this.

never been in a relationship and never had any friends. the closest thing he ever had to a friend was steve, and the age gap was frickin' enormous, so they never really connected in the same way as hunter would have connected with others his age. still, he sees steve like a big brother and a friend at the same time. steve is fond of hunter in the way a teacher is fond of a pupil, but definitely has no idea how much hunter worships and looks up to him as a person, and he definitely has no idea hunter has never experience any sort of love or affection before.

has legitimately no idea that what he went through with belos was abuse. thinks that he deserved every scar, every bruise, every injury, because he thinks that's just what parental figures do when you fuck up.

has panic attacks over seemingly very small things, and experiences deeply traumatic flashbacks if/when he has to walk through the palace again later in life. even though the flashbacks aren't necessarily noticeable to the people around him, he does have to find an excuse to leave so he has a chance to recompose himself in private.

probably has a mild eating disorder. comes from a similar place to his lack of sleep (aside from not being able to relax) where he has this idea in his head that he needs to be able to survive off of as little as possible and take up as little space/resources as possible.

[akuma-tenshi]

so this is a big, long rant about sexism in the idv community bc it's been on my mind lately and i need to put it out there. this is what i've observed after almost four years in the fandom and been stewing on for a long-ass time. if you don't feel like reading an essay on how annoyed some random enby on the internet is, then don't click the read more and just keep scrolling. don't interact with this post if all you're gonna do is get mad; i'm not here to piss anyone off, just make observations. and if this isn't your experience, good for you and please direct me to whatever circles you run in because i need to be there.

so, i've noticed that the idv fandom is extremely shit when it comes to how they treat female characters, and nobody really.. talks about it?? the only person i've ever seen actually discuss it used it as a way to drum up sympathy for ada. which, if you know me, you know really fucking pisses me off. because there are SO MANY OTHER EXAMPLES of sexism in this community, but no, clearly because we have sympathy for a male victim of abuse we're being sexist towards his abuser.

the thing is. there is so much to point to when you talk about how the fandom is sexist. it's very common to see female characters boiled down to just a couple traits. mary?? hot mommy step on me. michiko?? soft and gentle and demure (don't think i won't notice the weird shit about how that's a very common stereotype of asian women btw i see it). demi?? hot and drinks a lot. emma and lily are "uwu mentally ill babies". annie is soft. emily is either an irredeemable monster or a bitch, depending on who you're talking to. patricia is scary and mean. sangria's a girlboss, grace is soft and gentle, martha is spunky. and if you ask anyone their thoughts / ideas on these characters beyond those short descriptors you get nothing. i'm starting to fucking hate the word "girlboss" because it's all anyone says in response to like half these characters.

male characters are given alllllll the nuance in the world you can't talk to an aesop fan without them going into their endless headcanons / theories on why he's the way he is or how he's not actually that bad of a person or how cute he is or whatever. look at norton, or eli, or orpheus, or luca, or edgar, or joseph, or ithaqua, or any characters in that vein, and look at how the fandom treats them. look at the endless fanfictions and character studies and ships and x readers and headcanons. and then look at what female characters get. nowhere near that much.

i feel like margaretha and emily are the ones who suffer the most from this male-centric view by the fandom. they're characters who are inherently intricate, whose actions can't be explained away as entirely good or entirely bad. but that doesn't stop people from actively trying. they're going to act like margaretha wasn't being horrifically mistreated by her husband and just decided to burn down the circus for funsies or whatever. they're going to act like emily isn't trying so fucking hard to help emma and repent for what she's done. neither of them are meant to be read as black-and-white, but people will try because if they have to use more than two braincells on a female character they're going to implode.

meanwhile you get paragraph after paragraph about the intricacies of the argument between luca and alva. you get so many people analysing the relationship between norton and orpheus and how they're both kinda dicks but also both kinda have points. you get endless people defending joseph's actions bc his brother's dead and he's terrified of growing old / forgetting the people he loved / dying. you get so many fucking stories about how y'know, edgar's not that bad actually.

AND I'M NOT AGAINST ANALYSING THESE CHARACTERS!!! idv, especially in recent years, has been doing some great things with character writing. like, fuck 'em, they've got their issues, but they're still really good with some stuff and deserve credit. but don't act like it's not obvious how so many people have overlooked women (and poc, don't think i've noticed people ignoring the intricacies behind william and ganji as characters as well in favour of "himbo" and "bastard who cares", but i'm white so that's not exactly my place to talk) in favour of their favourite skinny whiteboy of the week.

they're that way with older-looking characters, too. if an idv guy has facial hair, you bet your ass he's also getting boiled down to his base traits. jose's an alcoholic, kevin is self-sacrificing and likes women, kurt is a little guy, kreacher is Awful, charles basically doesn't fucking exist anymore. but again not the focus of the talk atm.

it's just. so upsetting. esp. since most of my favourite idv characters are women but everyone i talk to about them is like "oh yeah demi's hot" or "aww annie's such a nervous little baby" or "god patricia's such a cool girlboss". and even when the shit they say is positive in a vacuum it still makes me so upset bc THAT'S NOT ALL THEY ARE!! demi is kind and loving and hardworking in the face of a world that only ever hurt her. annie's life has been an endless stream of pain and heartbreak and the only thing she really wants is freedom. patricia is literally cursed and is trying to find her place in the world.

also. i fucking hate ada but she falls victim to this too. as much as i despise the "you dislike her just bc you're sexist" thing and as horribly uncomfortable as she makes me, don't act like you haven't seen how her entire character is boiled down to how much she "loves" this man. don't act like you haven't seen how her entire character, all of her promise and potential, is forgotten in favour of that fucking trainwreck of a relationship. i bet half the fandom can't tell me anything about her other than her relationship with emil. emil suffers from this too, with his backstory and personality and life of abuse becoming an afterthought, but again, not what we're focusing on.

this is not an isolated thing or confined solely to the idv fandom. this happens in fandoms everywhere. but because idv is so close to my heart i feel like i really need to talk about it. there's so little content of female characters when there's fucking daily content of male ones. and don't get me wrong, i do like male characters. norton is literally one of my favourite fictional characters and i love talking about / analysing him. but i can guarantee a lot of people wouldn't be so interested in him if he was a woman.

sorry, just needed to get that off my chest. mandatory "this doesn't apply to everyone in the fandom" and "if this doesn't apply to you then i'm not fucking talking about you". we were so against the ashley wood collaboration bc of how much he sexualised michiko (and women in general) but like. do y'all really care that much?? bc i really don't think you do.

[riverswater]

ohh i wanna know about the scene you'd write the abusive louis (love that guy) fic for! pretty please? your brain has the best ideas

Re: this ^

Harry/Louis, 1.4k words. Tw for general abusive relationship crappiness and thoughts of domestic violence

The sheets are soft under him – washed the day before. Jasmin and white musk. The taste on his tongue is pleasurable as well, sharp mint. A grumble rises next to him. Louis doesn’t turn around, doesn’t play out his part. No point in it: the room is dark, Harry is drunk. Drank five cocktails and an unspecified number of shots, and Louis knows his boyfriend is not a smart guy, but sometimes he wonders what his goal is. Louis never brings him home with careful touches or gentle words, not anymore, Harry must know by now. But, still, he gets intoxicated to the point where he is a danger to himself, and Louis has to leave the party early. Play the part in front of other people. Human mask on, Louis mask on. Whoever that is, he dislikes him as well. Spineless, helpful, loyal. Boring.

He’s sitting with his back to the wall, and he is bored. He will leave the room as soon as Harry dozes out, maybe could leave now, already, while he still whines and turns around, foul breath and sweaty skin, but Louis doesn’t want the risk of him vomiting in his sleep or something. That would be boring, too. He’s not done with him.

Once he’s out, he’ll call Zayn, maybe, or maybe he’ll just hit the town. Saw a guy, the other day: tall, blonde. Slender. His number is still untouched. He could–

“What did you say?”

The room is silent. The air still.

“I–” Harry splutters, wails, sighs. He doesn’t turn to face him, but he curls on himself, pushing his back closer to Louis’s legs. Louis instinctively moves his limbs back. Harry is sick, he always is after a party. Tomorrow morning he will vomit the second his eyes will open. Luckily, Louis has a morning class, and won’t be required to assist him.

“I said,” Harry’s voice is a rogue whisper. Too much vodka. Louis finds him nauseating, at times. “Sometimes. Sometimes, I wish you’d hit me.”

So he didn’t hear wrong.

Interesting.

Louis relaxes back on the mattress, laying on his side, propped up by his left elbow. The lamppost light filters in, and he can make out the lines of Harry’s curls, his nose, part of his cheekbone. His eyes are closed shut, his brows knitted. Louis grins.

“And why is that?” He’s pushing, he knows it, but Harry has been eating out the palm of his hand for months now. He hasn’t called his sister since Louis told him to, back in January. He has fainted twice, only during this last semester. Niall hasn’t tried to contact him in weeks. He’s all his.

“You…” Harry lingers, stops. His eyes squeeze more, his lips curl. “Maybe. Maybe if I had bruises.” He dries his forehead with the back of his hand, harshly, uncoordinated. “If. If you cut me, or something. If I had signs. Maybe. Maybe people would notice.” He spits out the last part of his sentence, holds his breath, and pushes his face on the mattress, hard. Louis hopes he won’t drool. He changed the sheets yesterday.

Louis waits. He knows there is more. Harry has always been one for the dramatics.

“And. And,” he repeats with emphasis, as if that conjunction is meant to mean something by itself. “And if they’ll notice. If they’ll know. Maybe they… They’ll try to. Warn me off. And be by my side. Make me see who...” he doesn’t finish the sentence.

Louis finds it almost sweet how he can’t bring himself to say it. Not in the dark, not with his back to him, not while drunk. He’s his. All for him.

Harry whispers, his face still shoved onto the mattress: “Maybe then I would understand. I would be able to… I would. To leave you.”

Louis hums, considering. He throws his head back, face to the ceiling, and imagines it.

Not now, no. Harry is too drunk and pliant. No fun in that. He couldn’t even bring his hands up to cover his face. Maybe after one of Louis’ afternoon classes, when he comes back home and finds him with his feet (socks off) on the coffee table. Harry hasn’t done that in a long time.

He would march to him, rage oozing off his frame, grab him by his shoulder and cloak him in the face. “If I had bruises”, Harry said. So they would have to be visible. On the jaw, maybe. His teeth would cut the inside of his mouth, maybe he would bite his tongue. He would spit blood after a single hit. And then, and then… The terror in his eyes. The tears – Louis knows he would cry immediately, he would beg, he would apologize. And Louis wouldn’t care. It's almost tasty to picture. He would throw him on the floor, kneel on either side of his hips, or maybe with one knee on Harry’s chest, pinning him down, and hit him again. And again. He can almost smell the iron in the air, feel the tick, viscous liquid staining his knuckles and his work shirt.

He could destroy him, he knows that. Harry is so weak. A gust of wind could push him to the ground. It wouldn’t be special, to do that. There would be no skill, no thought, no planification. He could break his teeth, crack his bones, carve him, even, isn’t that what Harry said – “if you cut me”. And still, it wouldn’t be interesting.

He has no curiosity about hitting him. He knows how it would go. Harry wouldn’t even try to defend himself. He would paint himself as a martyr and let it happen. Boring.

He rolls his head back, looking at his boyfriend again. Harry’s face is now resting on his pillow, his eyes open and vacant, staring at their bedroom door.

“You know what I think,” Louis tells him. He can hear the smirk in his voice. “I think you wouldn’t leave me. Even with broken bones.”

Harry shuts his eyes and draws a quick breath in. Tucks his face in his own chest.

“I think”, Louis continues, moving closer to him, his lips inches away from Harry’s right ear. “Oh, wait. I know that much. You wouldn’t leave me. Even if the whole world was on your side. You know why?” He grins in the dark. Harry’s breath is quick, shallow. Louis leans in even closer, whispering: “Because they already are. They tried to warn you, I know they did. But you came back to me. They’re on your side, alright, but you? You’re on mine. You’re not leaving me, bruises or not.” Louis’ smile grows a tad more. He’s all teeth.

It’s risky to be this open, but for all purposes and intentions, he’s talking to a wall. Harry is incoherent. He would have never let himself say any of that shit if he had any spark left in his brain. Louis can breathe. He can take his mask off and breathe.

“And the best part?” Louis continues. There’s a hint of laughter in his voice. “You know as much. You love me. You don’t know how to live without me anymore.” Harry is shaking. Louis is not sure he’s still breathing and doesn’t care. “So, this fantasy, where some other swings by and saves you… it wouldn’t work. You want this. All of it. You want me.”

Louis scoots down on the bed, not wanting to bolt the scene anymore. The sound of Harry’s panic fills the room. Louis remains still, arms down his sides.

“You won’t remember this tomorrow,” he says to the dark. “And if you do, I’ll call you crazy. Crazy. How can you think so little of me? You know I love you. You know I’d do anything for you.” He hums. “You’re my boyfriend, I love you. You know that,” he says that last phrase in his sweet voice, the one he uses in front of other people, the one that sends girls into fits of awwws and I wish my boyfriend was that sweet with me. “Say it. Say what you know is true.”

Next to him, Harry is still trembling, quick gulps of air at an irregular pace.

“Harry.” His sweetness is gone.

Harry stops breathing. Louis waits.

“You love me,” Harry murmurs, sleepy. Satiated. “You’d never hurt me.”

Louis grins. “Good.” He’s not bored anymore.

[inside-job-incorrect-quotes]

Reagan: If a parent is abusing a child, it's child abuse. And if a child is abusing a parent it's parental abuse. Myc: If they're abusing each other it's entertainment.

[thostrolot]

Hey there, I need some help!

Normally I don't do these sort of things because I have no need and I'm kind of a self kept person, but things are getting extra dicey and I need a place I feel would get spread around better on.

Gonna go ahead and warn you all ahead of time, this story contains mention of abuse in many different forms, so if these things trigger you, I'm sorry. I have to mention it.

I'm telling a story that isn't exactly mine, but it means more to me than I can say. I hope you all can believe me when I put this out, because it all sounds farfetched, but I couldn't make this up if I tried. I hope you all will listen.

My fiancé is a few states apart from me. We've known each other for about 12+ years, and have been dating for a few of those years.

In those years, he's had it really rough, being in a family that was either abusive, not present, or oppressive in some fashion (they were the "pray the gay away" types). Recently, the person who was taking care of him passed away of cancer, and he has been staying with a friend of his.

This family was good for a little bit, but the father was an alcoholic, very toxic and verbally abusive to everyone. His addiction is what eventually killed him, and he has left the family high and dry on money for anything.

There is a reason this is important information.

Throughout these years, he's had a cat, a Tortoise shell manx, about 6 years old. Her name is Kiki. She is rather feisty, yelling at the top of her little lungs if you so much as pat her rear-end wrong. She has been with him all this time.

As of recent, however, she has become sick. She has been found to have a rather large bladder stone and gets worse by the day. He doesn't have the ability to get it immediately taken care of.

I want to help him raise the money needed to help with surgery for her. Anything at all helps. It's much appreciated if you could share the story around as well. Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day.

[devourcr]

episode thoughts + headcanons

CLAIRE DON'T READ YET. spoilers under the read more.

i'll say first, i'm so fucking happy that they gave us a piece of armand's backstory ( however condensed ) and to give us armand being raw and vulnerable, it's beautiful. and i'll never stop being amazed at just how well he's portrayed. the acting in this show honestly leaves me astounded every week.

are we a little conflicted?

also yes. there will be, without doubt, moments where i'm not sure about some of the decisions. bc it goes against canon that is either very important to me or headcanons that are just so much a part of my portrayal and perception of armand that i can't reconcile it. that's a part of adaptations! also, i'm aware that this is a super condensed version of his story and he admits that there are fragments so my own headcanons and pieces of canon from tva will still exist on this blog and shouldn't be an issue.

southern gothic horror should be uncomfortable and i recognize that and i'm also glad that the show isn't sanitizing armand's past.

but down to the episode and how my canon will deviate a little.

armand being sold by his parents.

armand's father was, no doubt, an abusive pos, who exploited his son. but he also tried to save him when he was taken. and lived the next several years in guilt for failing to keep him from being taken. << this means a lot to me.

my headcanon remains that armand was taken from his father by force. given that the narrative can easily be spun by others and armand's own fragmented memory may not be able to recall those details, it may be that's what he was told when he was taken. it could have been less of a "violent" abduction and more trickery.

armand's skill as a painter isn't mentioned.

i'm not going to assume that that means that he wasn't a talented painter or a child prodigy, but i'm going to continue to make that an important part of his backstory. for my portrayal, his father will still try to exploit his painting for money. i want to say that maybe the ship was supposed to take him to a "job." to paint a portrait of someone, but instead, it was much more nefarious and resulted in him being given to the captain of the ship and later sold to the venetian brothel.

but aside from that, the fact that armand is and was an artist is such an important part of him. armand's avoidance of painting is such a part of his trauma and i maintain that it would be so healing if he picked up the brush again.

tbh i'm not ready to talk about my headcanons and feelings (about the adaptation or otherwise) regarding m.arius on this blog. i'm iffy and processing my own thoughts and feelings.

[voxtism]

had a friend make a "haha bad teeth" joke and I went hatred about the American healthcare system mode

id in image description :3

also the text below (just in case tumblr destroys image quality)

its rlly rough for people with bad teeth to get any sort of treatment bc its horrific how very few dentists will accept medicare/medicaid/medical :/ its not just that they have 'meth/drug teeth" or that they "ate too much sugar" its that the healthcare system is designed to fuck over the poor. poverty begets more poverty, and it's so fucking hard to get jobs, even low paying ones, when you have "grew up poor, grew up abused, drug addict" teeth. real life example, when my dad finally got full custody of little my brother, there were literal holes in my baby brothers teeth. my brother was 3 years old. and he was lucky enough for them to be baby teeth, bc that meant pulling them had little long term effect, besides him needing braces later in teen years, but that's just one way that my mother fucked us over. she didnt take care of him, she never brushed his teeth, she didnt feed him, it was all so horrific to learn about years later. and i am afraid to think about what it's like for the kids who... weren't saved. who didn't get out. who couldn't grow up with healthy teeth, who grew up poor, who grew up with parents like my mom. its honestly rlly awful how people consider bad teeth to be a character flaw, or something, when in reality.... its poverty? its lack of access to healthcare?? its the medical system fucking over poor people in every way possible.

obviously i am not mad but i am just thinking a lot about it now

[ryderdire]

The most annoying toh nitpick is people saying it’s stupid hunter has memorial for flapjack because he only knew flap for a few months in the grand sceme of things

Like flapjack changed EVERYTHING for hunter flapjack helped hunter get out of an incredibly abusive situation flapjack literally sacrificed himself to save hunters life flapjack was one of the first to ever treat him like his own person (other then Luz even then it was kinda antagonistic) like just cuz flapjack wasn’t in his life for long doesn’t mean he didn’t change it IMENSELY.

[toothlespoggers]

the worst part about an abusive parent is the fact that everything that ever goes wrong is your fault. You having basic human emotions is punishable. You are a prisoner in a world where no one listens to you, because the judge himself is biased that you are guilty no matter what. And if u try to do anything about it, it just digs your hole further. But you can’t leave the trap because life is impossible without financial support. So you waste your life in suffering just to survive

[moonjaeyuns]

IPQ Ent.(Omega X’s management) via twitter/x against Spire’s recent accusations.

[fivetrench]

Miguel: A grown ass man who physically and psychologically abuses children

The fandom: Wow!! So hot! I love him! He’s so baby!!!!!

Gwen: A literal child who is trying her best in a very complicated and daunting situation & understands that she’s made mistakes

The fandom: KILL YOURSELF

[tubboatinnit]

I know I'm a no one blog, but I wanted to put my words out into the world that I am so inspired by the bravery Shubble has. It is never an easy subject, but I thank her so much for her confidence. Knowing that she is a survivor too helps me feel like I can survive my life and grow up to be kind and caring like Shubble. Thank you, Shubble