#Adding this plot bunny to the plot bunny farm

[ankhmutes]

4077 musings

I wonder about the reactions of the 4077’s family members watching the interview episodes. Would they be excited to see their family on tv? Proud? Scared? It would be great to see the other side of this for each member of the 4077. I just can see Daniel Pierce smirking once he sees BJ on screen or Father Mulcahy, Margaret, etc—

“so that’s who so and so is, now everything makes sense”

“what, that’s Hawkeye? I figured it would be someone more… cool?”

“that guy replaced me?! No!”

“Frank, that’s Major Houlihan?! You have a lot of explaining to do…”

“I figured John wouldn’t be that skinny, but we have to send him more food, he keeps giving all of his money to the orphans.”

“I’ll have to send Sherman more of my jam, some of his fellas are just too thin. And he’ll need more aspirin, those boys keep giving him headaches.”

and I’ll spare the winchesters, I can’t find their voices well, but I’m sure they’ll have a very interesting commentary…

I just might write this but hey hit me up if you wanna help or whatever I adore cheerleaders.

[empressgeekt]

Trolls - Burning Branches AU part 1

Or alternate title, I have now been sucked down the sudden black hole that is this fandom and now the troll plot bunnies are running ramped around my Fanfic farm, because the creators of this franchise has added my weakness...Sibling relationships... Now I have plans for a two story saga in this fandom of which I wouldn't have glanced at with interest at all a month ago.

Well, that's enough rambling, Time to get into the meat of the fic plot.

So, while browsing on Ao3 I noticed that there was this Rock!Branch au, where Branch is separated from the pop-trolls as a kid and ends up being raised by Barb and Thrash of the Rock Trolls. I love this concept, more then some relatives of mine. But I want to put a little spin on it. I've been a big fan of amnesia/memory loss fics, and I noticed there was a lack of them in this fandom.

Brozone breaks up and Grandma dies like in canon, same old same old. However, in this AU Branch is forced to leave the Troll Tree as a kid, because there is a larger sigmatism about trolls who went grey. The Trolls are very clear that they want nothing to do with Branch. They are all already living with death at their door step and they don't need a grey child to constantly break the false image of happy paradise that the adults try to maintain in the Tree to keep themselves sane. Branch, with nothing else left for him in the tree, packs up and tries to leave to find his brothers, though he does worry if they would even want him now that he was grey.

After successfully escaping the town, (the bergens don't notice if a small troll vanishes in the middle of the night, they didn't notice the whole village packing up), Branch spends a terrifying night in the woods. Running away from what are "predator's" in the eyes of a small child. Until he accidentally, stumbles in the a wormhole. The wormhole sucks Branch away from, Pop territory to the outskirts of the Rock badlands. But in this new hot volcanic he is still far from safe. (I'm adding that their are harsh powerful dragons that roam around the Rock trolls territory, as there has to be some type of reason behind they turned their own music and instruments in the to energy weapons while the other tribes didn't. Not to mention the active volcanic activity everywhere!) While running away from some of these actual predators and dangerous lava pools, Branch gets shoved over a cliffside, and falls into one of the few rivers nearby. In the raging rapids, the little troll strikes his head against the rocky river bed. Knocking him out.

Meanwhile, Still-King Thrash is leading an expedition to the river to fetch water for the people of Volcano Rock City. Being the very soft and caring Father he is, once he sees a small child floating in the river he jumps in without a second thought, and pulls the child to the shore. He leaves the expedition in the hands of another Troll and brings the some how still alive child back to the City and into the care of a capable doctor. While waiting to hear if Branch will live, Thrash goes through the little sack the kid had with him. There's enough evidence for the king of rock to come to the conclusion that Branch was running away, and needless to say Thrash is furious. Who would be so cruel that dared to make a child in his kingdom feel so scared and unwelcomed that they would run away! (at this point due to Branch's greyness and the high emotions of the situation Thrash hasn't realized Branch is from Pop yet, not that it would matter in the long run he's still ticked off).

Eventually, the doctor (an old friend of Thrash's whom they have a deep trust between, I haven't named them yet), calls Thrash in. Thrash finds Branch unconscious on the medical bed with his head bandaged. The doctor tells Thrash that's its a miracle that Branch is even alive, but it would take a bigger one for the child to wake up. The underneath the blood of the wound was a skull fracture and possible brain damage. Then he mentions it would probably be better if Branch never woke up, and further explains Branch's nature as a pop troll, and his greyness. Thrash takes this information in with a sad heart. Stigma against pop was still running high in the Rock kingdom, despite Thrash wanting to believe his people could spare their bias to care for a wounded child, he knows that no foster family would take a pop troll in. He asks the Doctor to keep quiet about Branch, and that if the boy would wake up Thrash would take him in himself. He goes home and hugs Barb after an exhausting day, and asks her if she was open to having a little brother.

After a few weeks, Branch wakes up, but he has no memory of anything. Not his name. Not where he's from. Not how he got there. At this point the medical staff that were allowed to know about him, have taken to calling him Charcoal, or Char, after his perfectly black and shiny hair, and it just kind of stuck after that. Thrash has taken to visiting Branch, even before the boy was conscious, quickly growing fond over the boy and until he'd recovered enough to be taken to the royal cavern. Barb takes to having Char around very well. Having a younger sibling, gives her something to put her protectiveness towards. Thrash makes and announcement, claiming Char as his own to Rock, and putting the boy as second in-line for the throne.

Still it isn't all cupcakes and rainbows with Char in his new home. He has lasting effected form his head injury in the form of migraines and fainting spells. The child is plagued by nightmares, of Giants coming to eat him and old ladies. They frighten him so much he draws and designs traps and bunkers to keep himself safe. Some of the designs Thrash actually considers building in case of emergency. Music brings him to tears if it's too loud or sudden, or if Barb asked him to sing-along. His room is sound proofed, and he has a pair of headphones to block things out if needed. Thrash also finds that his new adoptive son, is far more book-smart then him or Barb, the rarely used Rock library becomes Char's second home. The child become well educated in History, engineering, math, sciences and politics.

It would take two years before, Barb managed to talk Char into coming to her music practice, where the kid learns that music is more then just noise that makes him feel scared/unsafe. Seeing the weapon music can be, something he can learn to protect himself with, Char becomes hooked on the idea of learning it. Too everyone's surprise, it comes to boy like second nature, and his voice is like that of an angel's.

Eighteen years pass, and Branch grows up to be, Prince Char, second born son to Thrash King of Rock. He's a known expert with a guitar, both as an instrument and a weapon, his reputation is that of a eerily smart and organized strategist, who is loyal to his family and people to a fault and ruthlessly protective. With Thrash's health, both physical and mental, in rapid decline, Barb is forced to take on the mantel of Queen earlier then she wanted, but this time she has a brother to lean on as an advisor. Which is a good thing, because between the two of them Char is a much better planner.

Pressure is turned up on the royal rock siblings, when an unexpected earthquake destroys the farmlands that feeds the city. Sure, volcanic soil can been great for growing plants, but rivers of lava and giant fresh trenches don't help at all. Barb flies off the handle, and begins to panic in quiet about what she needs to do to protect the people of Rock, while Char looks into historical records to see if the past king ever had to deal with issues like this. Eventually he stumbles on the knowledge that during ancient times if one of the tribes was in trouble they would call upon their sister tribes for aid.

"Oh that's great advise your books have, let's ask for help from our sworn enemies!" Barb would exclaim, "Wait...the other tribes! If they lasted as long as we did, then they must have resources! But they wouldn't help us...not unless they were just like us. We could use our string to convert..."

"Barb! I'm going to stop you right now. First one our string isn't powerful enough to over-write someone's genre, believe me I looked into it-"

"But if we get all the strings..."

"You mean steal them?"

"Yah!"

"No, if we were to fail that would only sour relations between genres further and our people would still be starving. We'd be better off forging an alliance with a tribe, rather then wasting already limited resources conquering one."

"URGH! Why are you always right....So, alliance...that's our best plan?"

"Currently yes."

"With people that hate us! Are we sure we can't conquer them?"

"Barb, were trying to make a harmony. You can't make harmony with everyone using the same voice. They all need to be different, and they all can't be forced into something they they aren't or it all falls apart."

"Whoa, that's deep. Where'd ya learn that?"

"I-I don't know...but the point still stands we need to befriend another tribe not conquer one!"

"Okay, so how do we do that?"

"Well, apparently theirs more ways then one, all of them include paper work, so leave that to me, but one of them we actually have a unique opportunity to ally with."

"Oh? And how do we take advantage of this unique opportunity?"

"You're not going to like this...but we use me..."

Branch would go on to explain his plan to ally the Rock kingdom with the Pop trolls...through an Arranged Marriage between him and the Pop princess. Barb hates it, especially after all the pop trolls did to her brother when he was young, but she can't argue the logic. The pop trolls live in a forest rich with food and plant life, and water sources. However, they have zero defenses other then how deep they live in the forest. (how he knows all of this Branch has no idea) If the alliance managed to go through, the Rock trolls could get the needed food supplies, and the Pop trolls could gain the knowledge of how to use musical weaponry.

Barb still hates it, it feels like her little brother is throwing away his future. But Char assures her that he's okay with it, and that it's his turn to take on the burden of the crown he supposed to wear. As a bio-pop troll the possibility of an heir from the alliance marriage is higher then if they use a random Rock citizen, and as Rock Prince that will give more creditably to the pleads of their people to Pop. He tells Barb to just take care of Dad when he's gone and that they always have debbie to talk to each other through letters.

So they send a message to Pop Village...requesting to consider the marriage.

At Pop village, Poppy is busy with her new duties as a fresh coronated Queen, caring for the village needs and further establishing peaceful relations with the Bergens after the fall of Chef. When the message reaches her, delivered Via Debbie and Biggie, Peppy tries to take it from her before she cane read it. And then she demands that he Explain why she just got a proposal in a letter from a Rock Prince?

Peppy reluctantly explains the history of the Tribes, and how some times they would form alliances between the genres by wedding members of the royal families together to ensure peace. He makes it very clear that He doesn't want Poppy to even think of answering the Rock trolls even if to decline the proposal, but she fights back saying hat this might be their only chance for peace between the genres for years to come if its taken this long for them to reach out this time. Peppy then tries to argue that if Poppy were to accept the proposal that she would have to marry this prince, this stranger, and he never wanted that to happen to her. He knows Poppy is queen now and he can't order her to do anything, but he asks her to think about this before making any kind of decision.

Poppy needless to say, deeply contemplates the proposal. She wants to help reunite the tribes, but bonding herself to a stranger she never met was a daunting thing. She talks with Cooper and Bridget who are surprisingly helpful with everything, and decides that she'll accept the proposal with the condition that she and her future groom have the chance to meet and get to know each other before the wedding.

Barb and Char readily accept the condition, and calculate that they can give one month of courtship before the Rock kingdom is without food. They respond back to Poppy, and tell them that Char and a few others would arrive in Pop Village a few days after she would receive the letter that confirmed the betrothal.

Char arrives at Pop Village with much fanfare from his travel companions, but shushes them quickly and addresses Poppy and Peppy in a polite manner. Poppy is kind of thrown off by how grey her future husband is, not that she shows it. Char is just as shocked about how bright and colorful she is.

The romance is awkward at first. The cultural differences get in the way sometimes. But eventually a connection is formed. Char learns to feed off of Poppy's energy and Poppy learns that there's more to this grey prince then gloom. With the wedding scheduled for the end of the month, Poppy decides to introduce Char to her BFF Bridget.

Needless to say, it doesn't go well.

Char's underlaying trauma comes back in a panic attack and flashback upon seeing the Troll Tree and bergens. The memory of his Grandmother's demise suddenly becoming clear as day in his mind. In the panic he accidently fires his guitar at Grisle and Bridget, with makes Poppy panic and angry at him. So he runs off into the woods.

Bridget and Poppy end up having a heart to heart where Bridget says that Char looked scared. Having heard about how Char was acutualy a pop-troll and was adopted into the royal family, Poppy connects the dots rather quickly. Realizing that Char used to live in the Troll Tree but didn't escape with the others. the whole visit was triggering for him.

She runs back to Pop Village looking forh im, only to find that Queen Barb had arrived to help set up the wedding, and she wants to know where her Brother is. Poppy blurts out what happened while trying to defuse the situation, and that only serves to rile Barb up further. Until Poppy snaps, yellling at Barb that they need to go looking for Char not fight here! This impresses Barb into agreeing.

Poppy finds him and they end up having a heart to heart, and confessing...

The wedding goes on as planned. On the neutral ground of the Troll Tree, allowing Char to visit his late Grandmother's home for the first time in twenty years.

All seems well...Until one John Dory screams, "Stop the Wedding!"

...

I will post part two in a separate post because this is long!

Part two, and Part three

Edit: The prolog for this fic, which is basically Char's child hood is now posted on Ao3. Link

[kevinsreviewcatalogue]

Review: Hundreds of Beavers (2022)

Hundreds of Beavers (2022)

Not rated

<Originally posted at https://kevinsreviewcatalogue.blogspot.com/2024/04/review-hundreds-of-beavers-2022.html>

Score: 5 out of 5

Hundreds of Beavers is one of the funniest damn movies I've seen in a long time. A mix of Looney Tunes cartoons, wilderness epics, video games, and old-time silent comedy, it's 108 minutes of non-stop, rapid-fire slapstick with barely any dialogue that gets going in the first five minutes and never lets up until the very end, constantly escalating its jokes into the ridiculous in ways that never failed to put a smile on my face. It's the kind of movie where, at nearly two hours, I should've gotten bored given my distaste for comedies that run overly long, but just as John Wick: Chapter 4 managed to pull off the feat of maintaining non-stop action movie energy for nearly three hours, this movie had me laughing out of my seat constantly. If this movie is playing anywhere near you, be it in theaters or on VOD, you owe it to yourself to seek it out.

The plot is simple. In the rugged forests of 19th century northern North America, applejack maker Jean Kayak loses his farm in a comic mishap and now has to survive in the winter wilderness with his limited wits, whereupon he eventually crosses paths with an army of beavers building... something a bit more elaborate than a dam. The only outpost of civilization for miles around is a fur trading post, where Jean both trades pelts for equipment and sets out to win the heart of the owner's beautiful daughter, who's also the trading post's furrier who skins all the beavers he brings them. From that setup, we get a constantly escalating series of comic mishaps and set pieces as Jean sets out to trap rabbits, beavers, and other woodland critters while they in turn try to outwit him -- not a difficult feat, as it turns out. This is a film that runs on cartoon logic where realism takes a backseat, with holes in the ground serving almost as a portal network in the forest and both Jean and the beavers building increasingly outlandish contraptions to kill each other with. This film doesn't have an MPAA rating, but if I had to give it one, I'd probably give it a PG-13, with some light sex jokes (specifically one involving the trader's daughter) but nothing explicit and all the beaver death presented in an extremely slapstick manner that's more Wile E. Coyote than Red Dead Redemption.

Ryland Brickson Cole Tews, the film's co-writer alongside its director Mike Cheslik, plays Jean, and he is an immediately larger-than-life figure, a parody of a 19th-century outdoorsman and hunter-trapper who starts the film cocky and dimwitted and eventually turns into a cackling madman as it goes on. Working entirely without dialogue, he delivers a phenomenal comic performance purely through his expressions as Jean is subjected to every indignity under the sun in his quest. The entire cast understood the assignment, but this was the guy who had to carry the whole film on his shoulders, and after this, I'd happily pay to see him in other films. No less important, however, were the titular beavers, all of them, together with most of the other animals in the film, played by humans in furry animal suits. If Jean is like Wile E. Coyote or Elmer Fudd in live-action, then they're like Bugs Bunny or the Roadrunner, their obviously human proportions adding to the sense of these creatures as mischievous little critters who seem to be enjoying the torment they put Jean through. The overall aesthetic of the film, shot in black and white with gleeful disregard for realism in its special effects, not only makes the painful slapstick that Jean is constantly subjected to feel, well, more slapstick even as it touched on some surprisingly dark areas (including the funniest scene of an animal getting skinned you'll ever see), it also creates the feel of watching a live-action video game, specifically a mix of an open-world RPG with Jean's quest and accumulation of gear and a Super Nintendo side-scroller with the fantastical environments he goes through in that quest. This was a longer-than-usual comedy, but it was one that, between its non-stop onslaught of jokes and the constant progression of its story, never got old or felt like it was spinning its wheels.

The Bottom Line

Great comedies are hard for me to review without giving away the best parts, and this was a great one. I expect everyone involved with this movie to get a lot of attention going forward, such was the great time I had watching it. This is probably gonna be on my personal "best of 2024" list when the year is up, and I'm telling you now: go see it.

[ac3-silvers]

Is it weird for me to be worried about my latest hyperfixation/plot bunny?

Below the cut is an explaination.

Tl/dr: added a bunch of like pagan themes and my version of “western fantasy” and found family tropes and species bending to a Xianxia/Wuxia setting (MXTX triple fusion) and I’m worried people will find it problematic if I post it. All pagan stuff is also “weird” bc it’s my flavor of it and I add more bits when I write it for stories of any kind. Main guy mostly just acts as a dad and is always running around trying to avoid people who he doesn’t want to find him unless he needs to trade for certain things like fabric because everyone is suspicious of him and it gets worse when they learn he’s an “alternate type of cultivator” and actually foreign and stuff. Like, it’s HIM being assimilated and not the other way around even if he’s sharing like a couple crafts, what he grew up speaking and writing, some recipes and stuff you’d learn if you lived in the wilds and had an arborist-holistic doctor-type for a mom figure.

Edits: added more clarification, main concern is white savior and I’m doing as much as I can to avoid that bullshit but I’m still worried as fuck bc I don’t want to seem like an asshole or something.

Like, I tend to have phases for fandoms, sure, but I also have them for tropes/concepts I like to write.

So I’m in a MXTX/Danmei phase fandom wise, and I’m in a general “fix it before the shit can go south” phase, and now I’m layering on my paganism-in-everything phase once again and writing a “what if all MXTX novels are in the same world… and a very powerful druid-witch dude happens to stumble onto our favorite red-and-black boys and a (good number of) handful(s) of other fucked over kids… which activates his horrible, horrible dad instincts and he adopts every last one of them” thing.

It’s 3 chapters deep, has a bunch of random shit ranging from discussion of languages and their quirks, basic Irish lessons (bc teaching myself off and on for YEARS), pagan/wiccan shit (obviously), handicrafts, hunting, practical foraging and ultra-sustainable farming practices, how major religions stamp out smaller or “bad” ones…

It’s basically just what I write for my Og stuff but I’m not holding back at ALL and it’s MXTX. Main plot is MDZS but Binghe and Hua Cheng are the frustratingly ridiculous older brothers of the family that the dad-character is just sick and tired of listening to them pine and suspicious as hell about who they’re going after despite not wanting to even THINK about his boys being in romantic relationships with ANYONE.

Just… goofy happy but dramatic family shit and cute kids and teens bringing a shitload of foreign mythology and pagan culture and a hefty dash of my personal style of fantasy into the Xianxia/Wuxia world.

I just worry I might get flack for like destroying the culture and setting with… what I write about for the most part outside of like the vast majority of my fics.

Am I going nuts, or is this okay?

Edit for a clarification: I’m worried, as someone mentioned, of a white savior trope problem. I’m mainly trying to get out of that corner I seem to have driven myself in, but generally how it’s going so far is:

- cultivators are suspicious of foreign guy who’s apparently not just some weird merchant, this causes issues

- OC is more just trying to keep the kids he ends up running around with from doing stupid shit like pulling stupid stunts to be with people they declare their soul mates after like one brief interaction (and he fails a lot and gets all “I’m not mad I’m just disappointed. Now eat your dinner and go take a bath, you stink and are too thin again.”)

- major difference for whole setting is just some one off things here and there being introduced and made more common in a warped timeline (mostly just like fiber arts and some recipes and minor things that aren’t as obvious right off the bat like how ginkgo trees are in the same family as poison Ivy and stuff like that)

Generally the entire fic is just very done dad yelling at stupid teenagers for being stupid teenagers and having to dodge people who don’t like the weird wild man and judging him for not being able to read Chinese well and stuff.

Yet I’m still worried about white savior issues… because they’re an issue.

[spiritoffox]

hi! i'm curious, do you have any fave svsss headcanons? or any plot bunnies that you may or may not write in the future? 👀

Hi!! Thank you for the ask, ngl I had to sit down a bit and think about this... like do I have headcanons for SV? 😅 And yeah, it turns out I do, but unless I explicitly state them in a fic, or imply them heavily in text, they don't apply to every fic I write, you know? Added a read more because this got long, sorry!

So here are a few, that I could think of rn:

Top!SQH: I don't really write MoShang-centric (or CumPlane) fics, but if I did, it would be most likely with this dynamic in mind. I just think he is neat. ☺️

SY's age: I'm down for him dying relatively early, like between 18 and 20. It just makes everything funnier IMO to have him play the wise mentor when he was barely a legal adult in his own world and the mental age difference between BingQiu switching during his 5-year nap?? ☺️ (But I also have several WIPs where SY is like in his 40s so...)

SY's original hotness: every time I see someone post about him being a total knockout (conventional or unconventional) who is over it/doesn't know/etc., I smile. It would work a lot, is all I'm saying, and in a reverse transmigration situation, someone would definitely have their work cut out for them.

modern!LBH's job: so if LBH was born/raised in the modern world and an orphan, I'd probably write him as someone who is a doctor or an engineer - mainly bc I could see him with the drive to show everyone that he can do it on his own and excel too. Funnily enough, in the modern AU WIPs I currently have, he is either a haute cuisine chef (romcom with single parent SY), a medical student working as a waiter/delivery boy (romcom with fake dating), an escort (fic with a hopeful ending), or a gardener (lesbian horror). So like 1 out of 4? 😅

Plot bunnies. They are really bunnies, I have around 140 docs in my SV WIP folder. Some of those will be merged into one fic, and some of them have like 5-6 different fics in them because I was lazy and didn't want to open a new file.

Here are some that are almost finished being written tho:

Haunting of Bly Manor AU: lesbian BingYuan with uni student SY going to be the nanny for a rich widow's two children in an isolated estate over the summer to get her tuition money together.

SY as reincarnated SXY: TLJ/SY, past!TLJ/SXY with SY finding himself next to SXY's cooling body and baby!LBH is already in the river but caught up in the nearby vegetation.

SV/Stardew Valley/From fusion: BingQiu with SY waking up on the bus to Cang Qiong Mountain with a letter from his grandparent(?) telling him about an inheritance. He has a dilapidated farm called Qing Jing Peak, only a few spirit stones in his pocket and the bus breaks down immediately after his arrival. He can't leave the mountain, every time he tries he gets turned around, his money is barely enough to buy himself some bread till his first crop matures and every night when it gets dark monsters appear in the town.

Isekai AU: BingYuan where original!LBH agrees to play a game with a strange entity before dying during his daughter's wedding. He has to go into various worlds and try to fulfill the original host's wishes or change their fates. This is a multi-work series, part one (interstellar arc, also omegaverse) is almost done, I'm writing part two (zombie apocalypse arc) now, but I'll not publish any until I'm at least close to finishing part three (waffling between two settings). Will be at least 5 big arcs.

There are also several one-shots that I could post, I just have to find the energy and the time to edit them. I'll get there eventually. 🥰

Thank you for your question and sorry for the long post! Hope you have a nice day!

[chocolatemicenwhiskey]

Masks: Fallout Editon

Because I have been playing through FO4 again (I legit forgot I owned the DLC), this has been playing around in my head for a while. For @weapon13whitefang because plot bunnies.

The Vault Dwellers:

Minnow Fletcher: Raised with as good upbringing as one can in an underground nuclear bunker. She sets out into the Wasteland to see what the world is like topside.

Xander Pratt: Cryogenically frozen in a vault expirament gone wrong, Xander woke up 200 years after the bombs fell to hell on earth. He quickly managed to make two best friends, one of whom seems incredibly familar. But there's no way he could have survived for 200 years...right?

Survivors and Settlers:

Pallas: A rogue scholar from the Brotherhood of Steel. Long dilluisioned with her former faction, she believes that learning from the pre-war past can help bring civility to the wasteland without the need for the Brotherhood's control. Minnow's travel companion and best friend.

Chester Voreman: A synth programmed with the memories of a prewar entertainer and well aware of what he is. Has fun scaring traveling caravans and merchants, collecting whatever they drop, adding them to the pool of supplies his two-man camp.

Jimmy Harper: The second half of Chester's two-man camp, Jimmy is a weapons expert, always clad in masked wasteland armor. Willingly trades with others but avoids cities and settlements like the plague.

Raiders:

The Voreman Clan: A family of pre-war ghouls who relished in the war letting them finally be themselves. Led by the eldest sibling, Marius, the family has struck farms and settlements for supplies, leaving only one survivor.

[thomine]

AUTHOR'S COMMENTARY; in pairs

Index

fic basic stats

overall

world building

title

deviation

final

⠀

Basic Stats

pairing: freminet x reader

time: a few hours spread throughout the day (finished before 1am!!)

total word count: slightly more than 1k? not many drafts

deviation: 1/5?

*deviation from original is on a scale of 1-5, 1 being there was no change and 5 being it was completely changed.

⠀

Overall

i wouldn’t say lots of conscious thought was given to this story’s world building. i normally brainstorm and start writing my stories later in the day, but i wrote this story with little notes in mind and just allowed it to unfold by itself.

⠀

World buliding

in-game, the house of hearth is very suspicious to me. the farm is a direct parallel with the house of hearth (also run by a “father”) so i wanted it to be equally uneasy. that made me think of adding elements you normally don’t have in a farm.

one of these elements was pathways. this was inspired by my headcanon that, for a sneaky organisation, HoH has traps and pathways for the kids to leave and enter the orphanage without being tracked. the alarm was something i added while writing. it just felt ominous that a farm was run like a military, where there were curfews and what not.

where do these children come from? are they selling what they’re harvesting? what is the purpose of the farm? i left these questions unanswered in hopes to cultivate unresolved suspense. it’s to emphasise the farm is no ordinary farm, like the house of hearth.

⠀

in this au, freminet has not seen the ocean. he’s only heard of it through fairy tales. compared to the others who yearn for a life in the city, freminet wants to see the ocean, lured by its peaceful ambiance depicted in illustrations. he’s been mocked for his dream, making him keep it to himself. to the rest, they can’t understand why the ocean. in the city, there is a chance of a new life. you can hide in the ocean, but how long can you stay in it?

⠀

reader and the twins are the only ones who don’t make fun of freminet’s “childish” desires, and even actively support it. reader understands being different because their goal isn’t the city either. they’re more interested in exploring the world and wouldn’t mind coming back to the farm if needed.

lyney and lynette have a plan to encourage freminet to step out of his boundary zones. they hope he can see the ocean, but it’s risky to go out alone because there are people actively against the farm and will hunt the kids, so they’re on the lookout for a partner.

when the twins learned of freminet’s friend (reader), they gathered intel and concluded they could influence freminet indirectly. the plan was to share tales of their outings so reader would inquire how to leave the farm safely, and they would plant the seed of going with a partner in hopes they’ll think of freminet.

freminet knew the twins had something to do with reader’s sudden journey out, but even the twins were not aware reader would, through sheer determination alone, find a way out and make it back before the day ended.

⠀

the farm is very far away from the city. a few days worth of travelling, and selected kids can go there for assignments. they’re lip-tight about what they do there (also because i can’t figure out why), and normally take a few weeks to do their task. they always return. it puzzles many kids: if they had a chance to leave, why don’t they?

the farm isn’t isolated, however. as the fic points out, it’s near a village that’s aware the farm exists, and a lake.

to the villagers, the farm is just something that exists. they believe the produce is brought to the city by the kids and sold there.

⠀

there are lots of gaps when it comes to the world building, but i think it’s substantial for the small fic this is. i don’t intend to continue this due to the sheer amount of plot bunnies i foresee will be a pain…

⠀

Title

the title came from lyney, lynette, and freminet’s conversation. i wish i had something packed with more irony, but i’m not displeased with the title. if i has to expand this story, it would talk about freminet’s loneliness. this is a headcanon of mine, but i view him as an incredibly lonely person, especially after the loss of his mum. sure, he has the twins as family and they treasure each other greatly, but as a part of the fic says, the twins hold an innate connection he cannot understand.

freminet, to me, was a character that didn’t have anyone besides the twins (if we don’t consider Pers), but the twins have someone besides freminet. that is until reader enters the picture, hence why he’s grown fond of reader. in pairs would have been a fic exploring this loneliness i project into freminet, and how he slowly learns to find out he doesn’t need to be alone—nor does he deserve to be alone—but things can be done, or maybe even need to be, in pairs.

⠀

Deviation

there is no deviation because there was no plan to compare it too, haha. when i wrote the fic, i was only clear on the setting (i.e. making a farm as suspicious as possible), and everything sort of wrote by itself. hence why it’s a 1/5, although i initially note it to be a 3/5. i don’t remember why or what “plan” i was referencing to. because the fic grew organically, there was very little drafts.

⠀

Overall

when i first started this challenge of writing everyday in the month of august, i was determined not to let anything get in my way. unfortunately, the challenge ate into my time and i ended up sleeping too little, affecting my performance the next day.

the process would be to experience all the day has to offer, and when things calmed themselves do i sit down and write. maybe i’ll have 1-2 ideas by the end of the day, but exploring these ideas and actually writing them takes about 2-4 hours, and i find myself awake when i shouldn’t be.

this fic, however, is sort of like a symbol of progress? i started writing the first few paragraphs in the mornings and weaved in time throughout the day to add more. eventually, i finished this just when the sun set. at first i thought that it would be impossible to keep up this momnetum, but the fact i managed to finish a fic without compromising my real life dailies, it spurred my determination. i'll remember this fic whenever i feel like i can't balance between writing and real life resposiblities, haha.

[afni-fics]

What if I use this song as the theme of a Red Robin rewrite where Cass joins Tim?

https://youtu.be/RMTg5SA2c3o

Tim's story arc takes Angel Dust's lines and Cass takes Cherri's, though all mentions of "love" in the song translates to the familial love they'd originally felt with the Wayne family.

Addiction/drugs = vigilante life

Sobriety = civilian life

Hotel = Gotham/various vigilante teams?

Inner demons = Red Robin/Black Bat

---

Full original song lyrics

Till death do us part

But we're already past that phase

This is a brand new start

And I think I deserve some praise

For the way that I am

Despite having overdosed

And ending up comatose

I don't give a damn

I've let my emotions go

Fuck being a sober hoe

This is the mantra

This is my life

You're playing with now

Till the end of the night

Surrounded by fire

The passion ignites

A hit of that Heaven and Hell, a helluva high

I'm addicted to the madness

This hotel is my Atlantis

We're forever gonna have a fucking reason to sin

Let me leave my soul to burn and I'll be breathing it in

I'm addicted to the feeling

Getting higher than the ceiling

And we're never gonna want this fucking feeling to end

Just concede and give in to your inner demons again

Yeah, you fell in love

But you fell deeper in this pit

While death rains from above

So count your blessings cause this is it

You're not letting it go

So what if I misbehave

It's what everybody craves

You already know

So come if you're feeling brave

And fancy yourself a mate

You want it, I got it

See what you like?

We could have it all

By the end of the night

Your money and power

My sinful delight

A hit of that heaven and hell

A helluva high

I'm addicted to the madness

This hotel is my Atlantis

We're forever gonna have a fucking reason to sin

Let me leave my soul to burn and I'll be breathing it in

I'm addicted to the feeling

Getting higher than the ceiling

And we're never gonna want this fucking feeling to end

Just concede and give in to your inner demons again

Just concede and give in to your inner demons again

I'm addicted to the feeling

Getting higher than the ceiling

And we're never gonna want this fucking feeling to end

Just concede and give in to your inner demons again

Angel's reprise (not in above video - can be heard in original music video after credits)

I'm addicted to the sorrow

When the buzz ends by tomorrow

There's another rush of poison flowing into my veins

Giving me a dose of pleasure that resides by the pain

I'm addicted, I'm dependent

Looking awesome, feeling helpless

And I know I'm raising cain by every highway in Hell

Maybe things won't be so terrible inside this hotel

After re-reading the Red Robin comic run, I had a thought about Cassandra Cain and Tim's relationship as siblings:

Tim loves his adopted (Wayne) family, but trusting most of them as a whole is an entirely different matter.

However... His faith in Cass/Black Bat is complete and unbroken. She saved him from being assaulted, and is the one sibling that hasn't tried to stab him in the back without his permission. The permission part is super important. Tim trusted her to fake!murder him at the end of the Assassination Games.

They are the closest of the siblings. However, I think she is/was mostly unaware of how fractured Tim's connections are with the rest of the family due to being overseas for much of the earlier Red Robin drama. I also imagine she was very mad with the Dick when she found out Tim had run off alone to search for Bruce and no one called her or went after him for nearly an entire year. She would also be angry with Damian's shenanigans with cutting Tim's grapple lines and sabatoging Tim's cape when he returned full time to Gotham after finding Bruce.

She would've believed Tim about Bruce being alive if he'd been able to reach out to her. She definitely would've gone with him overseas. Perhaps things with the Assassination Trio and Ra's al Ghul would've gone differently too.

I feel like I may need to play with a fix-it fic that re-inserts Cass Cain into the Red Robin story from the very beginning of that comic book run.

[itsyveinthesky]

Europe’s largest animal shelter in Berlin

After Germany’s reunification, Berlin grew a lot, from any perspective. Once the excitement about the fall of the Berlin Wall died down, it became clear that abandoned, abused and lost animals needed some room and help too. The Animal Welfare Organization in the German capital looked for a good spot. It needed to be a really big one for a shelter. They found it in Berlin’s north-east.

The facility run by the animal rights protection association, Tierschutzverein Berlin, has a long tradition and many years of history. The idea sprouted from Prussian government official, C.J. Gerlach, in 1841 after witnessing maltreatment of a carriage horse and making up his mind to fight against animal rights abuse.

The first animal shelter in Berlin opened in Lankwitz in 1901 and ran for almost a century. However, what was once an unparalleled facility slowly turned to be too small and not efficient enough after many years, nudging into search for new spaces.

For 6 million Deutschmarks, a 16-hectare plot in the Falkenberg borough was purchased. Now all they needed was buildings for hundreds of very different animals, including cute puppies, colorful parrots, cats, rabbits, snakes and many other species. Sixty-five million Deutschmarks later, in 2001, they had what they needed.

Architect Dietrich Bangert took the mission. Fascinatingly, he himself happened to be a vegetarian, and it may have been inescapable for this “vegetarian-architect” to be in charge of designing this kind of facility.

The complex opened in the summer of 2001 under controversy, considered too expensive (building costs grew to nearly €48 million) and extravagant by some. Others praised its aspiration to provide light and space through modern design elements like skylights, exposed concrete, a water fountain and square ponds.

The Animal Shelter Berlin is as big as 22 soccer fields. It has as many as six buildings for dogs, four cat houses and one building for all kinds of small animals. How about a big enclosure for cats? They have that too. They even added what they call “animal protection farm” for livestock and an extra place for exotic animals, including reptiles. And they have their own veterinary practice. Of course there is plenty of space for dogs to run around at too. It’s the whole package.

A Sunday afternoon (before Covid) here feels like a day out at the zoo: dozens of people stroll around the 16-hectare grounds, many pushing prams or walking a dog alongside the artificial pond that runs next to the cat house, where you can watch felines napping or playing behind the windows. Children tunnel through the corridor-like rabbit-and-rodent house where guinea pigs and bunnies are cuddled up. A footpath leads visitors around the big, circular concrete building that houses the dogs, runaway pets, an elderly cats’ home and a rehabilitation and training facility. Beyond that are enclosed pastures where small visitors can gawk at the Nutztiere: lambs, pigs, geese, chickens and even a pony.

A more exceptional attraction, but kept away from visitors’ eager eyes, are the boarders of the Reptilienhaus, including a giant royal python snake that was transferred here last year from another shelter and a water monitor lizard that grew too large for its owners. Also hidden from the public are the shelter’s 16 primates – rescued from GDR laboratories, the circus or private homes and definitely not up for adoption.

(<- “In Memory of all laboratory animals”)

Long-term residents need not worry about getting put down. Like all animal shelters in Germany, this one is “no-kill” – animals aren’t euthanised unless it’s for a medical reason, or if they’re a danger to themselves, and even then the decision must first be carefully weighed by an ethics committee.

Accommodating 1,300 animals costs money, and a lot of work has to be invested. The Animal Shelter Berlin needs support. At this stage, Berlin’s Animal Welfare Association, an NGO, has 15,000 members, 10,000 donors and 800 volunteers. More support is appreciated, also because 180 employees need to be paid. Running the shelter costs 11 million Euro (13.3 million U.S. Dollars or 9.9 million Pounds Sterling) per year.

The organization’s website (German only) can be found here. Many animals are listed with detailed descriptions. Are you interested in adopting a dog, a cat or a snake? The staff will gladly answer your questions.

For further reading:

http://mdesign.designhouse.co.kr/article/article_view/109/78266?per_page=1&sch_txt=

https://www.exberliner.com/features/zeitgeist/an-afternoon-at-the-animal-park/

https://eu.usatoday.com/picture-gallery/news/world/2018/12/27/animal-animal-shelter-berlin-europes-largesthelter-berlin-europes-largest/2420551002/

https://berlinspectator.com/2020/12/09/berlin-fifty-and-his-1299-friends-live-at-largest-animal-shelter-in-europe/

https://worldcrunch.com/culture-society/welcome-to-the-world039s-biggest-and-best-run-animal-shelter

[sharkface-daydreams]

Hm, Imma ask 📊🧠💻

owo hewwo

📊 Current number of WIPs

oh my god fam don't do this to me lmfaoslkgjlkdf hang on i've gotta count a few different folders

....ok. so. If I count all my Conduction!verse 'Thermodynamics' planned bits as one, we've got 30±3, if I count them as separate I've got 35±3 with the uncertainty being small bits that I'm not sure count as WIPs

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

good question! I've got a lot of these <:3

Hmmm. I keep something called a 'plot bunny/plunny repository' and it's full of just. little chunks of ideas, scraps of dialogue and description that haven't really gone anywhere yet. ill pick one i really like tho. ... this one is actually where the shirtless farm mercenaries doodles came from (god that was before i changed the blog url :0 jeez) since they end up surrendering/get put to work rebuilding chorus as punishment. (tw for suicide mention)

'Pushing Buttons' AU:

"Don't you dare do this to me again, you don't get to leave me here alone," Felix hisses. They stare at each other for a minute, breathing heavily. "Why's it always gotta be about you?" Locus breathes. Felix stares at him, both furious and amazed that he'd use his own words against him, that he'd leverage mentioning his most terrifying attempt on his own life to manipulate Felix, that he'd use these things deliberately to push Felix's buttons… he's obviously been taking notes and Felix can't decide if he's proud or enraged.

💻 Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done?

It depends I guess. If it's a more serious/longer thing I like to get like, game world details and in-universe history and character facts correct so I'll comb thru wikis and rewatch things to get stuff right. Prior to replaying the Halo games I'd thought it made sense for space ships to be non-smoking but then Sgt Johnson always has his damn cigar everywhere so I guess they've factored that into space ship safety by 2500 AD ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If it's just a small little thing I might not do much more than a cursory search. Fantasy AU searches are mostly digging into various TTRPG schemas/fantasy tropes and deciding what I like or don't. I don't really remember what the 'deepest' rabbit hole I've fallen in was but the most recent was Lycanthropy for the RVBFAU. for sad backstory purposes :3c ehe

ty for asking ^^

[victoriareyloficlists]

Pets

Updated 4 October 2021

Rest of the Masterlist.

 #kylothekiller by crossingwinter (AO3 2018  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: It’s not the first time that Rey has seen Kylo pop up in her Fido stream, but it is the first time she’s clicked on him fast enough to be scheduled for a meet and greet with dog and owner on Saturday.) #kylothekiller Sequel /r/dogs by crossingwinter (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: [Help] My Girlfriend thinks she’s dying because the dog won’t leave her side.) A Dog is a Man's Best Friend (and also a force for fate) by Impossiblefangirl0632 (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben is dog-sitting for Poe and everything is going fine until BB sees a rabbit and runs off. Rey finds a muddy, but happy dog and takes him home with her. She's going to turn him into the shelter, she really is but before she can she runs into a very stressed, very annoyed Ben who accuses her of dognapping.) A Hare Brained Scheme by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rosey the Rabbit is sad. Rex her bonded companion has died and she needs a new hutch-mate. The problem is Rey is flat broke. Would her surly neighbour, owner of Huxy the Bunny be willing to let Rosey bond with his beloved pet? ) A Tail of Two Fluffs by Crysania, deadlikemoi, DyadamDriver, EquusGirl (EquusGirl0621), HelenFlower92, here4thereylo, lorel_steele, tmwillson3 (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey are roommates secretly pining for each other. When the two move in together, a cheesy ad on the radio brings them to Takodana Animal Shelter, where they meet Kira and Kylo, two animals that quickly win over their hearts. Can they sneak them home as Christmas presents for each other without raising suspicion?) Dog Days of Summer by reyloanne (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Veterinary student Rey has loved dogs ever since a puppy stole her heart at 7 years old. Now, she supplements her scholarships with a side business walking dogs. When there's a mixup with the scheduling of her newest client Buster, Rey walks in and gets an eyeful of Buster's owner instead.) Doggy See Doggy Do by youfluttermywings (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo's terribly late for work, his dog Chewie is bleeding out from his leg and his regular vet is all booked out. The only vet who can fit him in is a forty minutes drive away...) En-Snack-Ment by Twin_Kitten (AO3 2019  Rated M Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Police dog Kylo alerts for drugs on Rey's car, and Detective Ben Solo must investigate.) Get Over a Man, Get a Dog by PortPowerhouse (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey tells her best friend Ben she loves him. Ben was raised in a household where he was taught “I know” is an acceptable response to “I love you”. Rey gets a dog to help cope with her heartbreak because the real best way to get over a man is to get a dog.) Gimme Shelter by JaneNightwork (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 14 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo meets Rey Niima when his mother asks him to drop off a few boxes of old sheets and towels at the animal shelter. He is immediately charmed by her and decides to volunteer at the shelter to get to know her better. In the process of building his relationship with Rey and learning to take care of the animals, Ben learns new ways to heal old hurts.) If Found, Please Return by SageMcMae (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey knows what it's like to be abandoned, so when she returns a lost dog to his posh Manhattan address, she gives his owner an earful.) In Small Packages by DyadamDriver (AO3 2018  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: It was then that Ben realised three things. 1. He had never had a cat in his life. 2. He had no idea what these little things ate. 3. He had a crippling crush on his neighbour.) Kitten Love by ReyloRobyn2011 (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben is a field reporter for Hanna City that always is given ridiculous stories to report. What happens when he interviews the owner of a local kitten rescue that brought the kittens to an aquarium? Well, it may just be love at first sight.) les amoureux des animaux by reylomami (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey leaves her job in a whim after a quarter-life crisis. With too much time suddenly in her hands to rethink her life and her identity, Rey finds money-making respite in a pet-sitting job from Pawshake. A Reylo Pawshake AU with poor time coordination and fluff out of meet-cutes and mournings.) Let's Go Pumpkin Picking by JustYouBenSolo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rose doesn’t understand why Rey is so eager to go pumpkin picking with her at Han Solo’s farm when Rey went pumpkin picking last week with Poe. And the week before with Finn. Maybe she just really loves pumpkins? TW: Unsafe sex, no pregnancy.) Lost & Found by commandercrouton (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey loses her kitten, her neighbor finds a kitten.) Matched! by ekayla (AO3 2021  Rated M Complete, 15 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: What happens if you finally meet someone interesting on dating app during an international pandemic and can’t meet face to face?) Merry (Fuzzy) and Bright by JaneNightwork (AO3 2019  Rated M Complete, 25 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: One night Ben finds a dog abandoned on his doorstep. She's cold, scared, and pregnant. Ben takes her to a nearby vet clinic and meets the beautiful veterinarian Rey, who promises to help him be the best caregiver the dog and her puppies could ask for. Throughout the holiday season Ben and Rey fall in love with the puppies and, of course, each other.) Must Love Dogs by wanderlustfaery (etherealprey) (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben gets a rescue dog named Kylo. Rey has a rescue dog named Gavin. These two dogs apparently know each other from before and force their new owners to exchange numbers so they can see each other.) My Favorite Spot by erney007 (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: A modern AU where Ben has a love at first sight when he meets Rey. Only a little problem, her little Corgi wouldn't let him get near her.) Of Coffee, Corgis, and Cats by starspangledbisexual (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey would do anything for Finn- and by extension, Finn's boyfriend Poe and his adorable corgi, BeeBee. That includes covering Finn's shift when BeeBee goes missing. Throw a handsome customer, some convenient coincidences, and a very surly cat into the mix, and Rey's Tuesday afternoon turns out to be a lot more interesting than she thought it would be.) Paw Prints on my heart by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The prompt was Rey and Ben are roommates who find a stray kitten and the kitten brings them closer together. Could it be that they mean more to each other than they thought?) Paws by Polkadotdotdot (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Every Friday, Ben Solo takes his Doberman, Kylo to Central Park. Every Friday he sits on the same bench without anyone ever bothering him. Until another dog walker steals his spot...) Puppy Love by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben adopts a naughty puppy and contacts a dog trainer. It's horrible. Rey's too attractive and every time she says 'good boy' Ben comes close to popping a boner. Rey is pure magic with dogs, so he can't change trainers. Will Ben be able to survive the class?) Pussy Peek by JustYouBenSolo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey adopts a kitten, she invites Ben over to meet it. He misinterprets this as an invitation for something else. When Ben comes over, Rey says she’ll be right back (to get the kitten). He starts taking off his clothes…) put it into words by akosmia (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben went out to get a dog, and he got home with a poodle and a crush on the girl working at the shelter. That's life, right?) Sabotage by CaptainMarvel42 (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 10 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After learning Ben's role in Finn and Poe's breakup, Rey plots her revenge.) Snow Sparkles Like Stars by raptorginger (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 9 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: A blizzard forces Professor (of mythology and cosmology) Kylo Ren, aka Ben Solo, off the road while on his way to his parents’ house in Seattle for the holidays. Luckily, the woman who owns the house he’s stranded at is well prepared for a snow-in and (as a bonus) is adorable. Unluckily, she’s the owner of eight mischievous Alaskan Malamutes, who may or may not be the physical manifestations of the old gods of Norse myth.) Steadfast and True by andabatae (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Veterinarian Rey Niima's life mission is to save hurt or ill animals. When Ben Solo brings his injured puppy into the office, she leaps into action to save him. And when Ben asks if she makes house calls to check on recovering pets, Rey immediately agrees.) Strays by crossingwinter (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey rescues a mangy mutt from the site of a junkyard and brings the dog to the Solo Veterinarian Clinic. There she falls in love with the handsome son who's just really trying to save all animals.) Take My Hand by phrenique (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey lost her dog, Ben finds it.) The Fetch Order by Erulisse17 (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Working at the Fetch Order is all Rey ever wanted. She's surrounded by dogs everyday, her coworkers are fun and friendly, and the owners, Leia and Han, care about her like no one else ever has. But when someone breaks in at night to steal Chewie, she has to do everything she can to protect him. Until she finds out that the intruder is Ben Solo, trying to pick up the dog for his parents. ) To Say Good Night to You by dawninthemtn (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben is living a lonely quarantine when he gets a FaceTime call from a random toddler. He makes friends with the child, and eventually, her mother.) Valentine's Day by PropertyOfThaJoker (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The cat immediately came to Rey, who immediately held it. “He can’t be more than five weeks old, Ben. He’s a baby. It’s cold out here – he’ll freeze to death. We have to take him home.”) Wild Child by tmwillson3 (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey spends her first Season in Bath with her best friend, Rose Tico. When Rose begins a hate-at-first-sight relationship with Sir Armitage Hux, Rey thinks that nothing more exciting could happen. That's when Sir Hux's friend, the Earl of Alderaan, and his dogs come crashing into Rey. Rey has never liked peers, but when she bonds with him on a rainy day, everything changes.)

[itsclydebitches]

Hey! So I saw the AU you wrote about Oz reincarnating into Ruby and was absolutely amazing. The potential there is great. For example, with Yang, in canon, she was hostile Oz all the time, but what would happen if he was bonded with Ruby? Same for her team. Anyway, are you leaving it as a oneshot, or do you intend to continue?

Thank you, anon! :D Sadly right now I only “intend” to continue in the general sense of wanting to complete every plot bunny that’s ever popped into my head... but the reality is I’ve barely got the creative energy for the one WIP I’m posting at the moment. So it’s a oneshot up until some mythical, may-never-exist time in which it’s not lol. But here, take a broad list of things I was thinking about while mulling over this AU: 

Yes! As you say there would be some real tension between Ruby-as-sister and Ruby-as-Ozpin’s vessel for Yang. Same goes for Jaune. For me this would be a chance for them to realize that Ozpin isn’t the evil, manipulative mastermind it’s been easy to paint him as via Pyrrha’s tragedy and Raven’s incredibly biased words. If Ruby is a like minded soul to Ozpin... then what does that say about Ozpin that he so perfectly aligns with the sibling/leader they’d all die for? 

Same sort of “omg this relationship just got weird” for Qrow as he balances his boss/friend in the body of his niece. It’s more lighthearted for him once he works through things though, along the lines of trying to send Ozpin off to bed because he’s his “uncle” and he’s “older.” 

There’s contention in regards to weaponry. Do they carry Ozpin’s cane or Ruby’s scythe? Do they prioritize a defensive, non-combat weapon or one specifically designed to shoot/cut through as many things as possible? (All of which would, obviously, reflect on their different perspectives regarding Salem: do we hack and slash our way through her and her army or play it smart with strategy?) As the two work to find a middle ground they eventually combine their weapons as well. Something something, another soul who upgrades the staff. Something something, Ruby taking after Qrow by having one kind of weapon that turns into a scythe. Something something the gears in Ozpin’s cane are explained. 

In many ways Ruby’s notoriety is a problem. Ozpin doesn’t get to play the anonymous farm boy like he did with Oscar. Many already know who Ruby is - and what she’s like - via the tournament and deeds she’s done, which makes personality changes glaringly apparent. More significantly, she’s already a target for her silver eyes. Ozpin has been trying to protect her since he saw that recording Glynda sent him, but now he has even more of an incentive. He doesn’t care if he dies (again) but taking out Ruby and him simultaneously would be too big a blow to their side. Too big a blow personally given that she’s the first person he’s ever known before reincarnating into them. He’s loved all the people he’s been paired with - they’re literally a part of him - but Ruby is, as in many things, a special case. 

(It also causes more angst than normal for Oz because for the first time he has a crystal clear view of what his vessel's life was like/what their personality was like prior to his arrival. It’s a... disconcerting perspective of something he thought he’d finally gotten used to after a thousand years. 

More discussion/work on their part to balance two souls using one body. Ruby needs a good amount of time to get used to everything, but she eventually realizes that Ozpin only takes control when he has to impart important info/help her in battle and she’s like... don’t you want to just... read a book or something? Go for a walk? Talk to Uncle Qrow?? Yes, I get that you’re being super courteous and letting me keep my life as much as possible but this situation sucks on both ends and it’s not your fault we’re in it so just let me be the disembodied voice for a while. Go do some lame headmaster-y things. 

Sudden Realization™ that omg wait I’m a girl? You’re a guy?? Is this weird?? and Ozpin just chuckles softly, explaining that he’s reincarnated into many women before and doesn’t align himself with either gender fully. Non-binary Ozpin ftw

The conversation encourages Ruby to question her own gender identity/expression and, even if she’s still cis, that questioning was useful, making her feel more confident about the whole I’m-a-girl-housing-someone-I-originally-assumed-was-a-man confusion. They have their own shopping trip where Ruby keeps her combat skirt (“It’s Weiss’ and my thing”) but leans more towards pairing it with masculine vests and ties. 

“Ugh I can’t sleep.” “I’m aware, given that I cannot sleep until you do.” “Shut up! Feeling guilty won’t help us sleep!” “Hmm. Indeed not. Would you prefer that I tell you more about Vacuo’s economics?” “Ew.” “That knowledge will assist you greatly should you ever take another class with Professor Oobleck -” “Doctor Oobleck.” “Ah. Of course. Doctor Oobleck, with the added bonus of lulling you to sleep. Should history, pardon the pun, repeat itself.” “Again sir: ew.” “I see... Then I suppose you likewise wouldn’t have any interest in hearing about their 500 year old weaponry?” “......................go on.” 

Emotional Moment™ where things aren’t going well and Ruby reiterates that all she ever wanted to do was help people. Ozpin - unsure if this is even something she’d want to hear - admits that at the very least she’s helped him. 

Idk I’m touching on a lot of Big subjects but let’s be real, 75% of the story would probably just be the group worrying about their health. Between Ruby’s cookie habit and Ozpin’s hot chocolate habit - and their dual inability to impose any self-restraint - they’re gonna go into a permanent sugar coma one of these days. 

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 42 Review: Here Goes Peter Cottontail

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Full Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

At last, we’ve hit another milestone on Strange Paradise. A little less than a year ago, I discussed the third and final costumed flashback. Just under six months ago, we reached Episode 30, the first episode for which conclusive proof of executive meddling exists. And today we shall explore the introductory episode of a character particularly notorious among Strange Paradise fans. That’s right: this episode features the first appearance of the infamous Rabbit of Evil. The true face of evil has arrived on Maljardin, and it's soft with long ears and a fuzzy tail.

Because the plot has now split off completely from the Lost Episode summaries and I’ve already discussed the one for this episode, I’m going to ignore it for this post. I’m not even going to do much analysis this time. Instead, let us just lay out our beach towels on Maljardin, relax, and bask in the glow of the coming insanity.

Early morning on Maljardin. The unseen clock chimes three, and already Jean Paul Desmond is up sitting on the couch in the Great Hall next to the decanter of his favorite drink. Although it is the demon hour and almost everyone else in the château is asleep as far as he knows, he is already dressed in his brown velvet jacket, as one does when one is the richest man in the world on the coldest tropical island in existence. One would assume that he would at least loosen his tie to make himself a little more comfortable, but then, I’m not a fancy rich guy living in the 1960s, so what would I know?

Feeling the presence of his demonic ancestor Jacques Eloi des Mondes, he stands up and approaches his portrait as though in a trance. During their brief staring contest, Jacques begins to taunt him: “Come now, Jean Paul Desmond. Three o'clock in the morning and still you wander the house. Why?”

“Because your evil wanders here, Jacques Eloi des Mondes!” Jean Paul answers overly dramatically. “I sum-”

“Jean Paul, no oaths on your honor that you would be compelled to uphold. It might be the end of us both. And Erica might never rise to a new beginning.”

Jacques tells Jean Paul to go to bed because *he’s* tired. Could this be evidence that Jacques and Jean Paul are one and the same?

I like the way that Raxl's face appears on the screen just as the title card is fading.

Raxl paying her respects to Erica Desmond.

We cut to Raxl visiting Erica’s cryocapsule, when suddenly a little cockatiel starts tweeting. And who could it be but our mascot, the adorable Chalcko?

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<3

Quito checking on his beloved bird.

Meanwhile, Jean Paul visits the lab to find Dr. Alison Carr sleeping at her desk, Dr. Menkin’s notes next to her:

For the love of yourself, Jean Paul, do not disturb!

He wakes her up despite it being very early in the morning (because God forbid she not sleep in her own bed, I guess?). Really, there are only a handful of good excuses to wake someone up at 3 AM, including to ensure they catch an early flight and to kick them out of your bar after they passed out drunk with their glass shattered into a million pieces in front of the talking portrait across the room. Having fallen asleep at one’s desk while pulling an all-nighter that your employer deems unnecessary isn’t one of them, IMO. But, just like my cat who wakes me up around 3 almost every night crying for a midnight snack, he gets away with it because he’s cute.

Jacques has made cat-like faces before on this show, so now it’s Jean Paul’s turn to act like a cat.

That’s not to say that Jean Paul’s cuteness makes Alison any less annoyed with him. He asks her why she stayed up so late to study the notes, and she responds, “I can't sleep very well, anyway, and what else is there to do, since you keep us here as prisoners on this Island? Good night and please don't disturb anything.“ She leaves and he starts flipping through the notes.

Meanwhile, outside among the suspiciously Canadian coniferous trees of Maljardin...

Wait for it...

Quito finds a big, fluffy black rabbit hopping around the garden and brings the adorable, plump creature inside. His crush Holly happens to be in the Great Hall when he returns, and she falls in love with the rabbit at first sight.

“I didn't know anything as wholesome and innocent like that existed on Maljardin,” she coos. "Oh, he's so sweet! I haven't seen anything like him for--well, it seems like a whole lifetime.”

Then she remembers what Raxl said about there being no wild animal life on the island. “But Quito,” she says, “Raxl said like, nothing like this could exist on this island for three hundred years! I guess this little fellow disproves that, doesn't it?”

“What are you going to do with it?” she continues. “I mean, are you going to keep it?” Quito shakes his head. “You should. You should keep it for a pet. He’d make a lovely pet, something nice in this house of accident and death.” Because Quito is reluctant to keep the rabbit and has no way of expressing why to Holly, she offers to keep it as a pet.

“I wonder how he managed out there with all that poisonous undergrowth around?” she thinks out loud, as the rabbit starts to try to jump out of Kurt Schiegl’s arms, which I doubt was in the script. The rabbit they got to play the new embodiment of evil on Maljardin doesn’t always want to behave the way the plot demands. I suspect that, instead of getting a trained animal actor, someone just brought in their pet or bought a bunny on short notice at an Ottawa pet store or nearby farm. I like the rabbit. The rabbit does what it wants and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about following the script or doing what Jerry Layton wants it to.

Holly asks Quito to make her a cage so that she can keep the rabbit in her room, and he nods in agreement (I’m guessing just because he knows it’ll please her). He leaves. She sits down at the dining room table and rings for Raxl, who is not pleased when she tells her about the new guest:

Holly: "Hey, Raxl." Raxl: "Good morning, Miss Holly." Holly: "You know, everything I've heard about this island isn't the truth." Raxl: "Truth is a matter of seeing." Holly: "Well, I've seen. You told me that because of the curse, nothing could exist outside in that poisonous jungle." Raxl: "The Devil's evil is everywhere on Maljardin!"

Holly: "Well, just this once, Raxl, you may be wrong." Raxl: "It may be that demon wants you to think I am!"

Raxl instantly suspects that the rabbit is a tool of THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES.

The bit about all the plants being poisonous on Maljardin, by the way, may be a retcon. In Episode 13, Jacques mentions that papayas are native to the island. I suppose that, because he didn’t say that they were picked on Maljardin, that they could have been grown on another island. Still, I’m not ruling out the possibility of Ian Martin and/or a ghostwriter retconning this detail.

This scene is followed by a cool shot where the camera pans along the side of the staircase and over to Jacques’ portrait (see the beginning of Part 2), then a short scene of Quito pulling out a huge wicker picnic basket for a makeshift cage while Chalcko tweets as though trying to warn him of the evil presence.

In the morning, Alison returns to the lab to find Jean Paul in a scandalous state of undress:

Ye gods! He took off his suit jacket again! I am SHOCKED and SCANDALIZED by this wanton display of nudity! ;)

Jean Paul must be even more stressed now than last night if he not only has his suit jacket off, but has also loosened his tie. Turns out he ended up pulling an all-nighter himself in the lab reading the notes, even though Alison doubts that he possesses the necessary knowledge to understand notes about cellular reconstruction. Jean Paul asks Alison if Dr. Menkin did any experiments on animals, but it’s not clear if he’s asking just out of curiosity, because of something mentioned in the notes, or if somehow he feels the presence of the rabbit despite not having seen it yet. Whatever his motivation, the screenwriter almost certainly added the line to imply that the rabbit may have belonged to Dr. Menkin.

Using such a line as a hint (or, more likely, as a red herring) is a very Ian Martin thing to do, so I’m thinking that he must have written this scene. For a while, I suspected that perhaps some ghostwriter hired by either Jerry Layton or Steve Krantz inserted the scenes with the rabbit into a later draft, but now I’m having second thoughts. While it is possible that one of the showrunners hired a ghostwriter to speed up the script edits, this line has Martin’s influence written all over it. The insertion of the evil rabbit isn’t his style, but this kind of dialogue certainly is.

Also note that the very next shot is of the rabbit again.

Hearing the bird tweet is making Quito anxious. It’s obvious that the bird detects some sort of presence.

Jean Paul and Alison go to the dining room and sit down for breakfast with Holly. Jean Paul reminds her that another séance is coming and she tells him that she wants no part of it. “The spirits will decide that, and the Conjure Woman,” says Raxl.

“Vangie said that the conjure cards--the Tarot cards--spoke to one person,” Jean Paul adds, flubbing his line adorably. “They may well speak to another, for or against.” I’m not sure what he’s implying, especially because he faces Alison (or maybe the Teleprompter) as he delivers the line.

More proof that Maljardin is no tropical paradise, but a dystopia. (”Rattled” = “Raxl’s”)

Alison tells Holly that Jean Paul will probably blame them if the séance doesn’t bring him into contact with Erica and Jean Paul glares at her before flouncing passive-aggressively. I’m so conflicted about Jean Paul at this point because he’s becoming more and more of a control freak (and therefore more and more unlikeable), and yet he’s so adorable. Take a look at the face he makes just before flouncing:

Foxy!

And this shot of him from earlier in the scene:

Never have I seen any guy look this cute after pulling an all-nighter.

Holly tells Alison about the rabbit Quito bought brought her (yes, there’s another creative line interpretation). “That’s impossible!” she replies, stunned. “I mean, nothing alive exists out there now.” There are so many flubs in this episode that it makes me wonder if the actors had less time to rehearse than usual.

An unspecified amount of time later, Alison catches Jean Paul arguing with Jacques’ portrait, then Quito feeds the rabbit a carrot to the sound of more tweets. (Anyone else miss the days when “tweets” referred only to the noise that birds make? God, I'm barely 28 and already I feel so old.) Alison warns Jean Paul that dabbling in the occult is bad for his mental health, but he doesn’t care because he needs to hear Erica’s voice so badly. He tells her he’ll buy her some animals for her experiments the next time he visits the main island just to shut her up. (Spoiler: He won’t.)

And then Quito arrives, carrying the rabbit in its makeshift cage. Like Raxl, Jean Paul is not pleased to see the animal. “Holly, where on Earth did you get that!” he asks.

“Right on this Earth, on this island, from Quito,” she responds innocently.

Jean Paul giving his best “WTF” face. He’s lived on the island long enough to know that the rabbit came out of nowhere.

He asks Raxl about it and she cries out to the Great Serpent to tell her what the Devil’s plans are for Maljardin, making the Sign of the Great Serpent with her hands. Alison insists that the rabbit is only an animal, but Raxl reminds her that no animals can survive outside on the island--meaning, by her logic, that it must be a demon or similar evil being!

Jean Paul asks Quito where he found the rabbit. Raxl interprets the signs he makes as meaning “on the path to the boathouse,” which leads Holly and Alison to think that the rabbit must have snuck aboard Quito’s boat and sailed there with him. Raxl’s response?

Raxl: “It is a creature of the Devil!”

Holly objects and insists that the rabbit is only an animal, but Raxl sticks to her belief that it’s actually a demon assuming the guise of innocence, most likely sent by THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES himself! No one believes her, not even Jean Paul:

Jean Paul: "I must admit, Raxl, this is very unlikely." Raxl: "Not here. An animal here is an impossibility. Is that not true?" Jean Paul: "Until now, yes!" Raxl: "Then what force altered the impossible? There are forces at work on Maljardin as the hour draws near when the master will attend a séance and seek through purified mind and cleansed spirit to reach his Erica beyond the veiled curtain. What does the master say?"

Jean Paul does not respond. He looks like he is about to cry.

Raxl: "Quito! You will remove the rabbit. It is evil!"

Raxl: "It brings danger and wickedness and more evil than we will ever know! It must be destroyed and buried in the sea!"

Raxl: "If the master wishes to contact his Erica and hear her voice, he will be advised: that animal is evil!" Holly: "Mr. Desmond, please, no!"

Jacques’ commentary.

Coming up next: Raxl makes a horrifying--and mystifying--discovery when she examines the Rabbit of Evil.

{ <- Previous: Episode 41   ||   Next: Episode 43 -> }

[jadedjo]

2019 Fic Writing Update

The year is a little more than half over and I thought I would post an update on everything I have in the WIPs folder, what’s actually getting written, what got added, and what got done.

Here is what has been completed and posted.

Crossing A Line  With a new Force bond firmly in place, Luke and Mara must now navigate this unexpected turn in their relationship. How do you go from friends to lovers because the Force wills it? Post-Nirauan story. Part 1 of Getting To Know You Series

Not Just Another Day Luke gives Mara a gift on his birthday.

Return To Endor Cindel Towani is alone in the galaxy. She returns to the one place where she felt at home. The forest moon of Endor. She just prays that the one person she most wants to see is still there.

I Get Off Very NSFW He could have called you ‘Master.’ Like I do sometimes.” Mara's voice was a smoky purr in his ear. Her arms slipped around Luke’s waist from behind. Luke smiled. “I don’t think it would be the same as when you do it.” “It better not be … Skywalker.” Luke jumped as one of her hands gave his stomach a slap. — Destiny’s Way, Chapter 3. by Walter Jon Williams

Just how does Mara call Luke 'Master'? In the sexiest way possible.

4 Times Mara Noticed Luke's Feet and 1 Time Luke Noticed Mara's Mild NSFW Mara never thought of herself as finding feet attractive. Until she spotted the toes of one Luke Skywalker. ~~~ Luke never paid much attention to Mara's feet. But they'd never been encased in shiny black leather before.

And a handful of drabbles that can be found on my AO3 Account: JadeDjo

What is still in the WIP Folder

The Jedi Academy Mystery

My re-write of the Legends books Jedi Academy Books. Mainly Jedi Apprentice in which Mara stays on Yavin IV to investigate the death of Gantoris because it isn't known who killed him. I was trying for a gritty, hard-boiled style but now I’d settle for done. Writing a mystery is harder than I thought.

So Far Away - Amnesia Fic On Hiatus as I think I need to revamp it a bit.

Luke gets Amnesia and Mara has to deal with the consequence. But unlike a few amnesia fics I’ve read this one doesn’t deal with Mara trying to get Luke’s memories back but how she lives her life and deals with the Jedi looking to her for leadership after Luke’s new personality wants nothing to do with his old life.

The House That Built You

Luke and Mara go to Tattooine to investigate people disappearing from Luke’s old hometown and find a secret slave trade underneath the nose of Gorga the Hutt. Written from Mara and Luke’s old friends POV’s its an analysis of how Luke has changed from Farm Boy to Jedi Master.

Times Like These

This is the sequel to Because the Night. I wanted it to be the final resolution to L/M’s sexy time woes but is turning into Smuggler Politics and a Shirlee Faughn and Mara Jade friendship fic with L/M tacked onto the end.

Plot Bunnies the Muse as thrown at me

Technically all the drabbles, I Get Off, and Not Just Another Day are all started and completed this year because the ideas wouldn’t leave me alone.

Some more that have hit me in the head are:

Apocalypse Yavin Hopefully this years Halloween Fic. This was born out of the Rise of Skywalker images of the crashed Death Star.

Luke is reeling with the revelations Vader is his father, needing to get used to a malfunctioning new right hand, and needing to save his friend from carbonite. He also needs a new lightsaber but is unsure how to find a Kyber crystal. Ben comes to him and tells him to find one on Yavin IV which is now a wasteland due to the falling debris from the first death star. What he finds on Yavin IV is a hellscape with the bones of the Death Star at its heart and the eerie feeling that something in the Force is in pain, crying out for release.

Start of Something Good Part 2 of the Getting To Know You Series

Luke and Mara need to get from Ansion to Coruscant. The only problem is there is no one to pick them up. Having to take public transport they find that getting to know someone slowly is a lot more difficult when there is only one bed.

Jedi Temple Altar Sex this is working title and pretty much all you need to know but what plot there is puts Mara and Luke in conflict until they find a hidden chamber of a long-forgotten Jedi Temple. Since the purpose of this chamber is to promote harmony and conflict resolution their mind shields are stripped and they must confront their issues. Then comes the make-up sex. As I said, the working title says it all.

[ilcuoreardendo-fic]

Untitled (Sith!Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan)

I’d hoped to keep to the one prompt a day, but I’m behind. Ah well. C’est la vie.

This is for January 1/Day 3 of SubObi Week: Sith AU. I was imagining it as part of my “Salvation on Bandomeer” plot bunny. Which is probably why the end feels so “meh” and transient to me.

__________

Qui-Gon exhaled. “I think I have a problem.”

“I've told you that from the moment you brought him home,” Dooku said.

“Congratulations, Master. You were right.”

“Don't be smart.”

Qui-Gon ran his hand over his face in an uncharacteristic gesture, closed his eyes.

“You, as Sotiris, would do well to turn him,” Dooku offered, his tone one of someone who felt they should offer advice even knowing it would not be taken. Truth be told, he liked his adopted, well...under the circumstances, the word grandson wasn't particularly appropriate. But Obi-Wan had spirit, strength, a connection with the Force that should be nurtured, trained and not wasted on growing plants.

“No. I don't want him falling down the same canyons of shadow that I fall, much as I enjoy bringing him close to the edge. He's not meant for the Dark. And I… I want his Light.” Qui-Gon  sat back, knowing he'd said too much. He didn't have to look at Dooku to see that. “Two years. It's been two of seeing him wanting me and my doing nothing about it, pretending I don't even notice—”

“For what?”

“What?”

Dooku raised an eyebrow. “Why have you been ignoring the attraction between you?”

“He's my apprentice.”

The other brow arched. “This is not the Jedi Order. There are no rules about fraternization between masters and apprentices. He is of legal age in this system. And he's far more mature than you were at 17.”

“Well I, I...” Qui-Gon stopped, face going momentarily slack before he blinked, straightened, rose from his chair and left the room.

Dooku shook his head and turned back to his books, snorting softly. “How common sense evades the intelligent.”

17 year old Obi-Wan Kenobi had been with his Sith master for four years, plucked off Bandomeer just when he thought he might go mad having to Force coax one more seedling to sprout. Not that he had anything against seedlings or farming and, in fact, often found gardening a good form of meditation, but that was not what he wanted from life.

And Qui-Gon…Master Sotiris had known that.

Looking at the time, Obi-Wan stood, stretched and padded out into the kitchen, setting the tea kettle to heat. His master had commed him earlier to tell him the time he would be back. Hot tea would be a good welcome home.  

It had been weeks since Obi-Wan had seen Qui-Gon, Master Tyrannus having sent him off to some far flung planet to work on making political connections, about which Obi-Wan was not yet to know. So he pretended he didn’t.  He kept to his books and the lessons his master had set him and tended to the home they shared.

Obi-Wan wandered into the sitting room, looking over it closely. He’d had the cleaning droid sweep the carpet clean, but everything else he’d taken care of: dusting the books, organizing the holocrons in their cupboard, picking up the clothes that had gotten flung around haphazardly in his master’s absence. He spied a pair of socks and plucked them up, throwing them into the laundry chute for the droid to take care of.

At first, he’d started cleaning up and tending to matters that his master seemed to overlook or discard because he was grateful. Then, because he felt obligated to give back to the man who had saved him, who had put a lightsaber back in his hands and taught him the ways of the Force; those the Jedi would have taught and much more.

And then…well, then it was because when Obi-Wan did things for his master, he felt good. Not just the pleasure of a job well done, but a warmth unfurling deep in his belly that he couldn’t rightly explain.

Until a few weeks ago, the night before his master was due to depart. He’d come in from a training session with Master Tyrannus, wearied as always after such a session, and slumped into his chair, not even taking his boots off.

So Obi-Wan did it for him. Found a strange and immeasurable pleasure in kneeling at Qui-Gon’s feet, releasing the buckles and, one hand behind his master���s knee, working the boot off one foot before switching to the next.

Only when both boots were off, did Obi-Wan raise his head. The look on Qui-Gon’s face was startling. Not the gold of his eyes. Obi-Wan noticed that sometimes happened in moments of heightened emotion. He was used to it, found it beautiful. But the naked want on Qui-Gon's face, the intense hunger. It had had him reeling back on his haunches.

Then Qui-Gon thanked him, rose and disappeared into his room for the rest of the evening.

He'd replayed the moment in his head everyday that Qui-Gon had been gone. He hasn't misread the desire, surely. And Qui-Gon had to know how he felt. Obi-Wan knew he'd been less than discreet at times, try as he might.

Obi-Wan heard the lock disengage and he met Qui-Gon at the door, ready to take his cloak.

“How was your trip, Master?”

“Successful, if overly long. How have you been, my apprentice? Did you complete your lessons?”

“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan hung the cloak, turned to face Qui-Gon. “And Master Tyrannus has been working with me on my saber technique.”

“Good.” Qui-Gon paused, watching him. The silence grew thick with anticipation. Then, “Come, Obi-Wan. Remove my boots.”

Obi-Wan twitched in surprise, followed Qui-Gon to his chair, watched him settle. Qui-Gon looked up at him expectantly. Feeling that funny warmth in his belly again, Obi-Wan, not breaking eye contact with Qui-Gon, slowly knelt, reached for the first buckle.

“Socks too,” Qui-Gon said after a moment.

Obi-Wan complied. One foot naked and he admired the strong arch and long toes, resisting the urge to run his finger along the underside of his master's foot.

By the time Qui-Gon was bootless and sockless, Obi-Wan could hear the change in his breathing and he sat back on his haunches, looking up at his master expectantly.

Qui-Gon leaned forward. He cupped the back of Obi-Wan's head, tangled his fingers in the loosely bound hair. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, felt Qui-Gon's breath on his cheek.

The kettle hummed in the kitchen, sputtering water.

“That'll be the tea, Master.”

“Wonderful. You may serve it.”

“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan rose, stopped when Qui-Gon's fingers wrapped around his wrist.

“Naked, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan's breath hitched. The warmth that had pooled in his belly shot down his legs, made them weak, pooled in his crotch. Qui-Gon was looking at him closely, searchingly, and Obi-Wan smiled.

“Yes. Master.” Obi-Wan began to disrobe. Having been mostly at home, he was only wearing a tunic and trousers. He folded them neatly and set them on the sofa, standing in front of Qui-Gon as naked as the day he was born.

“No underwear?” Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan flushed. “Never around the house, Master.”

Qui-Gon nodded as if this were sage advice. “See to the tea, then.”

In the kitchen, Obi-Wan tried to control his shaking hands, especially once he splashed himself with boiling water. Luckily, he'd only spilled on his hand. He measured out leaves into the tea pot and added the water, then turned to arranging the cream and sugar on a tray, along with a plate of biscuits he'd come across in the pantry. He carried the lot carefully into the sitting room, placing it on the low table.

A hand on his flank startled him and Qui-Gon's fingers stroked him gently as if in apology.

Kneeling again, Obi-Wan added cream and sugar to a cup, carefully pouring the tea, then offering the cup and saucer to Qui-Gon, who smiled at him, eyes flickering gold, then back to blue.

“I have a confession to make, apprentice. I've known about your feelings for some time now but was too caught up in old habits to do anything about it. That's no longer an issue. And judging by your reaction...” Qui-Gon's fingers brushed against Obi-Wan's cock that lay half erect against his thigh. “You are open to this change.”

Obi-Wan, eyes wide, nodded. “Yes, Master.”

“Then we'll have a lot to talk about. But not now. Now, I want to relax and enjoy my tea. Come here.”

Obi-Wan shifted closer to Qui-Gon's chair, settling on his rump, the carpet beneath him soft and strangely compelling against his bare cheeks, his balls.

Qui-Gon cupped Obi-Wan's head, guided it to rest against his thigh. Obi-Wan breathed in deep the smell of his master:  the metal and oil odor of small transport ships, far away places, ozone, detergent, the intimate scent of Qui-Gon's sweat.

The smell of home.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

The Most Pointless Character in Sonichu

Taffy here. This was a post I made for the Kiwi Farms forum on the most pointless character in Sonichu in late October 2017, and I took up the challenge to prove every single character has no point. This was kind of my beta version of what would become Taffy’s Annotated Sonichu, so I thought it would be worth reprinting here (also I’m sorry it’s taking me so long to get more CWCDefense or GitM up, I’ve been really sick for the past two weeks and I’m just now trying to get back in the swing of things).

Chris's comic persona and fursona are pointless because he could have just lived vicariously through Sonichu and not have an in-comic presence.

Sonichu himself became pointless after Chris took over as main character but was already pretty pointless since really Chris could have just written a straight Sonic fanfic with Sonic as the lead in the first place. Besides the occasional electric attack and the complete lack of an original personality he's basically Sonic.

That said, all the characters ripped wholesale from Sonic or Pokémon (Sonic himself, Perfect Chaos, Robotnik, Giovanni) are pretty pointless as they were dropped not long in as Sonichu grew to have its own canon with its own crazy cast of characters.

In addition, any character ripped wholesale from any other franchise (Beavis & Butthead, Bugs Bunny, Meg Griffin) exist solely for "fan service", or rather fan disservice.

Rosechu is extremely pointless, all she does is A) be a token girl, B) prove Sonichu is STRAIGHT, and C) occasionally face rape someone. That said The Incredible Lioness is probably the closest we get to a real character with a point, rivaled only by the Voltorb that kills Simonla. They have simple purposes (to brutally maim and murder) and they do them to a T.

Kel is pointless since Rosechu could have just been Chris's Pokémon to begin with and she didn't need to exist as a middleman.

For that matter, any character best known for being a Moon Pal (Bill the Scientist, Metal Sonichu, Yawning Squirtle) or just as a meme in general (Inos), while being great for laughs, are all pretty irrelevant background characters.

Reldnahc Notsew Niatsirhc exists solely for Chris to physically obliterate his sexual insecurity.

Any Jerkop or Manajerk exists solely for Chris to vent his frustrations with real people who were just doing their jobs. Same goes for Hanna.

Blake is too inconsistent to have a point to existing. He was a pointless villain-of-the-week at first and then he was a pointless supporting character.

Sarah Hammer and Wes Iseli are particularly pointless because Chris' relationship with Sarah was already waning when he wrote Sonichu 2. Since the reincarnation plot point was dropped not long after, you can honestly skip Sonichu 2 entirely and not miss anything.

Mary Lee Walsh, while being awesome, is like the jerkops and manajerks just there essentially as a comic book voodoo doll. Maybe the point of her was to show that Chris can in fact write an interesting and badass female character? We'll never know.

Count Graduon is pretty redundant with Mary, power wise. Other than to vent frustrations with his graduation he's really pointless.

All of the Chaotic Combo are basically team filler filling out some elements that the rest of the team lacks. Specifically:

Wild Sonichu doesn't really have a personality. He's pretty redundant with Sonichu himself, other than, of course, we need a green Sonichu. The one thing that possibly could have made him interesting, the struggles of being a single father, are really rushed over so Chris can get back to the murder spree. His only notable father-daughter bonding experience was drilling a man to death.

Bubbles Rosechu, aside from being the token blue Sonichu/water type, finds one Sonichu ball and then returns to being a moron.

Angelica Rosechu, although I imagine her original purpose was to be a pacifist voice of reason and a token religious character, well, that got thrown out the window pretty quickly. The things that differentiate her from Bubbles besides their powers are few and far between.

Punchy Sonichu is just the token red character and the token Asian. Seriously I don't even know what "fighting type" means. In fact, why not make him fire type? It's the one element missing from the Chaotic Combo (Bubbles is water, Wild is earth, Angelica is air, Magi-Chan is ether/heart/mind, no one's fire!) (Note 26/11/18: I now know Fighting-Type is a type of Pokémon, but nevertheless “Fighting-Type is one of the weirder types. The Pokémon types are elements, supernatural creatures... and martial arts. And yes, the Fighting-Type icons in the series are red while Fire-Type is orange, but from a team balance perspective fire would have made sense).

Magi-Chan, especially after being paired off with Silvana taking away his sole unique trait of not being driven around by his penis, is just Chris's round the clock surveillance system.

Boulder Dropping Whale would have been useful if he actually killed Bubbles's mother but since he failed he's just a great meme.

Why does Flame the Sunbird even exist? He's literally just Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie and his role could have easily been filled by Wild or Bubbles or anyone because that stupid Sunstone doesn't even matter, except it does make everything grow like Norma, whoever she is. Norma is the most relevant character in that whole issue. (Note 26/11/18: Yes, I named Nadine’s mom after this typo.)

Again, Darkbind and Zelina are crimes against nature. (Note from an earlier repost): I am referring to a previous post complaining that Darkbind and Zelina were the combinations of not two but four franchises (Sonic, Pokémon, Zelda & Darkwing Duck) and came off as clunky because of it.)

Crystal the sister is especially irrelevant now that Chris is a girl (why not make her a trans man to mirror Chris' own transition? Oh wait JERKS.), but she was always redundant with Rosechu and Chris himself.

Sailor Megtune - why didn't he just draw Megan herself? We know he's okay drawing her.

Megagi - Already kinda redundant with Megtune and she really had no reason to exist after Chris & Megan had that falling out.

Jamsta and Lolisa speak for themselves at their uselessness. I mean, they are just bit characters anyway. But as someone else mentioned before their radio station is particularly shitty.

Patti-Chan, while her story is cute, just exists as a way for Chris to hold on to his beloved pet and not fully cope with her loss.

Allison Amber, although being one of the better characters, wouldn't need to exist if Chris would just do some work for once. That said if the point of her character was to be an audience surrogate (I mean, until she shoots a man in cold blood) then for once Chris succeeded.

Bionic the Hedgehog as previously mentioned is just there for the sake of having an orange Sonichu, even though he isn't one.

All of the specific characters of Chris's "real life" "sweethearts" (Pandahalo, Blanca, Ivy) as well as their OCs (Jiggliami, Blazebob & Chloe, Layla Flaafy) are pointless because they all just disappear almost immediately after they're introduced after Chris finds out they were a troll or they "died".

Likewise any rendition of one of Chris' real life trolls (Jason Kendrick Howell, Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Alec, Evan, Sean & Mao) are again just there as pen-and-paper voodoo dolls for Chris to take out his frustrations on. The trolls in particular almost work against Chris' point in including them because no matter how much Chris paints himself as the hero his violent murder sprees always end with him looking like the villain. (Justice for the Asperpedia Four!)

Beel is just Satan and a secretary for the 4-cent-garbage building. Pretty pointless.

Zapina is just there as a token "cute" character.

Simonla is just Wild's token sweetheart and then later the lynchpin Chris needed to justify executing his enemies.

Silvana, while another fairly interesting character, is just a villain-of-the-week with an added dose of Chris's sexual insecurity.

Sarah & Rita Jackarass - These two are both stupid minor characters, but why on Earth did there need to be two of them?

GodJesus exists solely to heap praise onto our beloved autist.

Those stupid Samurai Pizza Transformers are stupid. I hate them so much. I hope they burn in the Earth's lava core.

Sonichu & Rosechu's children are initially just there to be cloyingly cute and then once they're grown to be Chris's LGBT mouthpieces, forgetting that we won't listen to anything they say because we already hate them. Of special pointlessness is Cerah, because while Robbie is the most punchable he's at least the focus character of a lot of the newer stuff (even though we hated him as a Sonee, we hated him as a Sonichu, and we'll hate him as a Rosechu), and Christine is vapid she gives credence to the idea that Magi-Chan is giving it to Rosechu behind Sonichu's back which is way more interesting than canon. Cerah does jack squat besides be a lesbian.

The Asperchu cameos are just there for Chris to try to force Alec to give him what he wants and the Basement Rosechus are just there to slander Alec's name.

Sandy is particularly irrelevant since Simonla's back, she was never anything more than a replacement goldfish for her.

Kevin the Jew - I knew it! I knew it all along! Peppermint Patty is a boy!

Bananasaurus - Don't listen to your Patreon backers Chris.

Lastly, Russel & Cynthia are just there to fill the Sonee/Rosee void left when Cera Christine & Robbie evolved, a void no one in particular wanted filled.

Edited (27/10/17) to include all the MLP characters and Chris's ponysona - We hate them and we want Sonichu back.