#Agatha Crusty

[santaclaralocalnews]

Santa Clara Players opens its 2023 – 2024 season with the world premiere of the murder mystery spoof “Agatha Crusty and the Medieval Murders” by British playwright Derek Webb, playing Oct. 13 – Nov. 4. “Having done the North American Premieres of two prior Crusty plays, it’s only fitting to do a World Premiere,” said SCP producer George Doeltz. “That’s mainly due, I think, to the fact that we asked first.” (A trial run took place last April in Wales, where Webb resides). Read more at svvoice.com

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Darkhold Diaries: Day 673

Wanda: “When Hela asked us to dog sit this is NOT what I had in mind!”

Agatha: “Quiet…we need to move calmly and slooowly, I think it can smell our fear

Fenris: *growling from under the kitchen table*

Y/N: “I got this!” *bounces a tennis ball down the hall* “go on, fetch!”

Wanda: “THAT was your ingenious plan?!”

Agatha: “Oh we’re fucking dying now.”

[william-austin]

what the hell would trunchbull look like as a baby cause I've been debating this since tech week and the show was literally a week and a half ago

[vase-of-lilies]

So for tiny vurse what if both nat and wanda have an emergency having to leave tiny alone but then enter aggitha and she whispers through the wind and lures you out because she's still mad at wanda then wanda and nat come home check your room and your gone but they find a trail of crumbs because we found the cookies and finds us in a cabin souronded by 3d print animals dancing with magic and agitha keeps us in like a dream like state that we don't see are mommies or hear them. Add what you want I just think it would be funny as I'm looking at my 3d printed dragon.

The Trap

Paring: Mommy!Wanda Maximoff x Little!Reader (f) x Mama!Natasha Romanoff (Featuring Agatha Harkness)

Warnings: Heavy MD/LG, Agatha luring away reader, magic, tiny has to be alone:( forest, being kidnapped from your kidnappers, this is a dark AU in general so beware, threats of falling off a cliff, hallucinations

A/n: I love this request! Thank you for sending it in 🥺 (I also have always wanted to 3D print something but I don't know where to find a printer 😭 my local library doesn't have one either:( ) But I hope you like this!! I feel kinda bad making it angsty at the end lol but I thought this could be like Anistaisia's dream (If you have seen the movie!!)

"Baby, I'm so sorry we have to go, but we will be back so soon, ok? Can you promise us that you'll be good?" Wanda and Natasha are rushed to get out the door, an emergency mission involving Ultron threatening the existence of humanity.

You nod as you hold your lion in your hands, tears forming in your eyes as you think of not being with your mommies for a little while. Pretty soon after they leave, your bigger headspace might show itself again, but you know better than to escape. And as you stare at your mommies gathering everything they need, you start to feel a sensation of abandonment.

Wanda immediately takes notice of this and kneels down in front of your spot on the couch. Grabbing a hold of your hands she squeezes them gently. "Hey, little one... it's going to be ok. You are gonna have so much fun with Leo here and then after you lay down for your nap, we'll be back in a blink of an eye," She says with a smile, kissing the backs of your hands.

Nat sighs as she sees you on the couch and frowns at your tears. She joins Wanda and sits beside you, wrapping her arm around you softly. "I promise, sweetheart, we'll be back so soon." She whispers, kissing your head. You nod at their reassuring words and lay down on the pillow they set up for your nap on the couch.

Hugging your lion tightly, you wave to them as Wanda and Nat go out the front door, the two women waving back.

The soft music coming from the TV plays and you watch the ocean waves beating against the sand on the screen. It lulls you to sleep almost as fast as hearing your Mommy's lullaby sung to you.

Not far into your nap you heard a soft whisper, causing you to sit up slowly. You yawn and rub your hands over your eyes, getting the sleepers and crusties off of your skin. You look around confused as to where this soft whisper could be coming from, remembering that your caregivers had to leave for a mission.

Your eyes looked around the room, looking for that voice however, your mind was pulled in a different direction when you saw a small bag of Wanda's famous cookies! Hopping off of the couch, you wander over to the counter where there is a note.

'Be good, Tiny, we're always watching over you ❤️ Love, Mommy and Mama.'

Their note made you smile but you were yet again distracted by that soft whisper in your ear. Your head snapped to the sliding back door that had miraculously opened on its own. Curiosity took over your head like a trance, or maybe it really was a trance...

Absentmindedly, you take a bite of a cookie, some crumbs tumbling down your shirt and onto the floor. Your eyes widen as a purple tendril of energy presents itself in the door, and the whisper is louder than ever, luring you outside of your humble abode.

As you follow the mist, you continue to nibble on the cookies your mommy left for you, dropping a pathway of crumbs on the way to the gate at the edge of the backyard. This gate was connected to the fence, and the mysterious purple energy quickly opened it. The hinges squeaked with every inch it opened and you were taken aback by a small group of animals, a purple glow around them as they danced down a dirt path into the woods.

You continued to eat your cookies, some chocolate chips falling on the soil beneath you as you explored deeper into the forest.

"Just a little further, sweet girl..." The whisper coaxes you, your aura turning a bright purple as you fall further under the spell of Wanda and Natasha's enemy; Agatha.

Your mind was a haze once you got to an imaginary home in the middle of a grove of trees, the animals jumping and dancing around you as you sat down on a rock. What you didn't realize, was in reality you were nowhere near a grove of trees, you were on the edge of a cliff. At the bottom of the cliff was a collection of sharp, jagged rocks. Agatha had manipulated your mind to see something different.

She had the intention to take what mattered the most to the two women she hated.

The rock you were sitting on was at the very edge of the cliff and was only a couple feet (or meters for you non-Americans). If you walked any further, you would fall to your death and not even know it.

On the mission, Wanda could feel something was wrong and once they were finished with Ultron, they raced back home to see if you were safe. When you were not on the couch, in your bed, or in your playroom, they panicked. Nat ran to the security room and rewound all the tapes. Her eyes narrowed as she saw you leave through the backdoor, but she still could feel something was wrong. The door had opened by itself... she didn't leave willingly. She thought.

"Nat! Nat, let's go! I know where she is!!" Wanda shouted from the kitchen where the backdoor was. Her wife ran to her, gun in hand and spider bites ready in her other. "Look, she left crumbs." Wanda pointed to the ground, the pathway of cookie crumbs leading to the gate.

The two women ran as fast as they could, following your trail of crumbs all the way to where you were. As they saw you, Wanda gasped and tears filled her eyes as she saw you so close to the edge of the cliff. She saw the purple around you and growled to herself. "Agatha... you bitch,"

Nat looked over at her, knowing not to move if Agatha was near. She is powerful, but Wanda is more so. All three of them knew that, yet Agatha still tried.

Looking around the trees, Nat sees the witch perched on a branch, purple whisps of magic moving about her fingers. Wanda is nudged by her wife and she looks in the same direction, glaring at the woman. Before anything worse can happen to you in your dream state, Natasha pulls her grappling string from her belt and shoots it towards you, the chord wrapping around your waist to hold you away from the cliff.

Agatha notices the sudden lack of movement from you, frowning as you don't move forward with the animals as they hover in mid-air above the drop. She looks around to see what could be stopping you and meets the glowing red eyes of Wanda on the ground.

"Ah, so you do care about your little bunny..." Agatha says, floating down from her spot in the tree above. She lands between you and your mommies, sparking even more rage in Wanda. A large red burst of energy forces Agatha into a tree trunk, blood flowing from her head as she stands up.

"Oh, you are angry," The witch notes, smirking as Wanda walks towards her. The two sorceresses face each other, distracting Agatha enough for Natasha to run to you. Her soft kisses to your forehead and arms around you weren't enough to pull you from the trance you were in, but Wanda could help with that.

"First, you mess with my family in Westview, then you mess with my wedding, now you mess with my girl? It ends now, Agatha, you are dead to me and will be for everyone!" Wanda shouts, her magic pushing her up to float above Agatha, who is much too weak to fight back.

Natasha pulls you to a safe spot, your whimpers making her frown as she sees you reach for the imaginary animals that were luring you to your death. She holds you to her chest so you aren't able to see Wanda and Agatha and prays that once Wanda is done, you will be back to normal in no time.

The scarlet witch forced all of her energy onto Agatha, not killing her, just transferring her to a place where everyone would be safe from her. The Raft. She knew that the guards there dealt with her first, so they knew exactly what to do once Agatha arrived there.

Finally, your mommy floats to the ground, taking a deep breath as she regains her energy. Her head turns towards you and Nat, both looking back at her. Quickly she makes her way to you and kneels down to you as you sit in Nat's lap, holding onto her and your lion. With a small push of red magic to your head, your trance is pulled away from your mind and your eyes snap back to reality.

Looking at your surroundings, you realize it is not the same thing that you saw while under Agatha's power and you whimper. "Where a' I?" You ask in a small voice, trying to make sense of what happened. "Where da animals?"

Wanda sighs and holds your hand, "Oh baby, it's ok, you're safe now. You must have wandered off while you were sleeping," She chuckles softly, trying to distract your thoughts from becoming irrational. With Natasha smoothing her hand over your head, you are slowly pushed back into sleep.

"Mama n' mommy home..." You whisper tiredly, a sloppy smile on your face as your hands move up to gently cup Wandas. Your mommies smile at you and carry you back to the cabin, making sure to tuck you in with your little lion by your side.

After wiping off the crumbs from your front, Wanda smiles and whispers to you, "I'm glad you liked the cookies, little one."

And with a kiss to your forehead, you sleep peacefully in between your loving mommies.

[elpida]

"Right, Noah, you can head off I'm good now, the breads in, just taken the sweet cherry loaf tins out too cool so we should have those tomorrow." Eden spoke, coming from the back and brushing her hands onto her well loved apron. "Don't forget to take a loaf for your soup later and yes, yes I really did mean it when I said I want to try your lasagna soup it sounds so tasty." Noah turned to her, lifting the loop of his own apron up over his head. "You only want to try it so you can steal the recipe and impress your fancy man. Is the bloke your boyfriend yet? You still haven't told me his name." Eden spun and did finger guns at him all matter of fact. "Not going to answer the first question or his name, gotta keep you on your toes but hey if you can guess it right maybe then I'll tell you." she laughed, she actually had a great friendship with her second in command. He was just into his twenties but he'd studied catering at a nearby college and when Eden had advertised for an assistant manager he'd come in with a printed out resume and told her that he'd work his way up, that he'd learn and do his best but it was the fact he'd brought her in his speciality baked cheesecake that sold her on his passion and commitment. Since then he'd been reliable and so willing to put the time in to learn. Eden could trust him with this bakery because he'd come to love it as much as she did, his baked cheesecake was a hit and a customer favourite too. Noah rolled his eyes at you.

"You know whoever it is, just glad they make you smile. Are you seeing them tonight?" she nodded. "I'm planning to take them a sweet cherry cake, I think they'll like it with a hot drink and I know they have a friend who'll definitely enjoy it because it'd go nice with limoncello." Noah slid on his jacket and took the crusty bread Eden wrapped for him. "Tell him and his friend I say 'hello please don't turn out to be a fuckboy'." they laughed but Noah laughed even harder when Eden asked what on Earth a fuckboy was. "Oh! Don't forget, bread in the oven. Don't forget!" Noah pointed his finger and she pointed back, waggling as if she was taking note. "Got it, no-nonsense-noah, won't forget about the bread. Oh and tell Sebastian I said he needs to come by I miss gossiping about you with him." she giggled, watching him get flustered over her mention of his recently announced boyfriend. "Cruel." he commented, half out the door. "More like payback!" she called with a wide smile.

"It was about five minutes later that Eden heard the little bell above the door chime and smiled so widely when she looked up to see Agatha. "Hey Ags!" she was nearing the end of the day so typically it was quiet now, not many stopped by five minutes before closing. She'd brought forward the sweet cherry cakes, leaving the one she intended to take to Angelo's in the back. Five more minutes on the bread in the oven. "One second let me just-" slice by even slice she was prepping up the cake and making it look all perfectly presentable, especially when she covered it in the glass lid that she had for each separate item. Her bakery was so picturesque, she'd go on about how it was best to keep cake covered and at room temperature rather than refrigerated because the cold nature of a fridge would dry out most cakes. Everything was tidy and clean now, she was just getting a head start for tomorrow. "There we go." she mumbled and popped the new sweet treat in it's place.

"How's Cade? He was texting me the other night, he still really doesn't get the use of emoji's huh?" she laughed, she was so... at peace in this space, so happy but everything about this bakery screamed comfort. Even the well loved wooden work surface of the counter. Along the back lined huge bookshelves and benches, that was the free library. People brought books in to put on there and they could take them freely too. It was also great for people sitting in to have something to do, even for kids. "How are you? Oh! Oh what are you here for? I've fresh bread if you can wait five minutes you know, warm bread is always the nicest thing to smell!" like it didn't smell like heaven in here already. "I have some sweet bits too, are you feeling sweet? Savoury? Please say sweet I've the best thing today! Don't you dare get your purse out either." @wiinestories !

[p-taryn-dactyl]

way down we go (i)

a/n: this was not requested but I couldn't for the life of me get the idea out of my head. this can be considered a dark!fic bc of the events and plot points so please read the warnings before reading! I hope y'all enjoy! also, I already have part 2 written so this is one series you don't have to wait weeks for an update, only a day 💜

word count: 1.4k

warning(s): graphic depictions of crime scene/dead body - murder - blood and gore - this isn't really a happy fic - I'm not the fondest of writing things that show serial killers in a romanticized way so this...isn't going to end well - people die in this guys - if you do not like blood or anything to do with death do not read this - even though I absolutely love forensics I am in no way an expert and all my info comes from my singular forensic class and all the forensic files I watch - this is fiction plz don't come for my inaccuracies - (reader also does profiles bc why not)

pairing(s): forensic scientist!reader x serial killer!Agatha

prompt: your relationship was picture perfect. you're happy and in love but one crime scene brings your love crashing down around you. (I'm not good at descriptions)

You knew you would never escape this feeling.

The chills that ran down your spine as you walked through the scene, the only sounds being camera shutters and shuffling footsteps of your team, the way the air was suspended around you, imitating the way you held your breath. You forced your emotions into a box and shoved it to the back of your mind, your eyes turning from sympathetic to analytical, necessary for your job. The only one who noticed the change was your Crime Scene Photographer, Darcy. She pursed her lips at you, tilting her head towards the bedroom, acknowledging your shift into your role of head CSI.

This scene was different than the others, you immediately noticed as you crossed the bedroom threshold. Blood took over the wallpaper, staining the costly vintage pattern. The body lay face down on the bed, stab marks on the back, mostly shallow and jagged, indicating a struggle had occurred. Your thoughts were proven as your eyes scanned over the blood spatter. This victim fought back, causing a fight your killer hadn't anticipated.

She was the tenth one this month, the bodies being found more and more frequently, the killer getting more confident.

"Y/N."

Your name sounded behind you, making you turn around. Lead Detective Jimmy Woo stood with a grimace on his face, eyes expectant. You nodded as you brought him over to the side of the bed, where you could see the wounds better.

"This one is different, Jim. The scene is a mess, the body mutilated and uncharacteristically stabbed, not to mention the lack of sophistication."

You turned from the bed and walked over to a pile of cleaning supplies, crouching down and cocking your head to the side. Your eyes widened when you noticed what had caught your eye. Pulling out your tweezers from your toolkit hanging by your side, you called out to Jimmy, asking for an evidence bag. As he handed it to you, he asked an important question.

"Then how can we be sure it's the same killer."

Without hesitating you answered.

"The victim fits the profile. A woman in her early to mid 50s, lives alone, estranged from family," you nodded your head to the dusty photographs on the dresser, now decorated by dried drops of blood, "and the cleaning supplies, the same ones we know for a fact were used at the other scenes."

As you bagged the strand of hair, your mind thought back to the other crime scenes. The bodies of the victims lying in bed, dead for days or weeks at the longest, the rooms cleaned meticulously, the only mess being the crusty blood stains from the single slit mark on the women's neck. You thought that those scenes were the worst, but now as you looked around, you knew you hadn't seen the worst of humanity yet.

Handing Jimmy the evidence bag, which he passed on to the officers on the scene, you stood up.

"Forensics is done here, all pictures taken, swabs done, and now all evidence is bagged. Help me roll the body over."

Your plastic gloves were already soaked with blood as you and Jimmy rolled the victim onto her back. Jimmy choked on what he saw. You merely sighed. The slit on the victims neck was jagged but shallow. The scene played out in your head. The killer did the normal business of coming from behind with the knife, but this one struggled, making the cut not deep enough to kill. The killer pushed the woman onto the bed, trying to suffocate her with the pillow but she kept struggling. Finally, the killer resorted to stabbing the woman until the act was finished, even some post-mortem. Then, instead of having time to clean the scene and position the body, something unexpected happened. Someone visited the victim, the young next door neighbor who felt sorry for the elderly woman who never saw her family. The killer had to rush out the back, leaving countless pieces of evidence behind and ruining weeks of planning.

"Let's get her in a bag, make sure to contact the family and ask for her will and wishes upon her death."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the drive back to the station and your team's lab, you allowed yourself a moment to text your wife.

You: Hey hon, I don't think I'll make it for dinner. I might stay the night.

You let yourself slip information, a breach of protocol but you trusted Agatha.

We finally have enough to catch this bastard.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sounds of reporters never stopped as the hours passed, your team logging and entering every piece of evidence from this scene and past. You ran every single strand of DNA evidence you had through every database you had legal access to. Monica Rambeau, your secret weapon when it came to, well, weapons, made multiple 3D replicas of the suspects height and body weight, using the angles of the blood spatter and the stab wounds. You and your team had discovered a separate blood profile in the mix, a break that had you desperate for a culprit. Now you sat in front of the equipment in your lab, the rest of your team resting while evidence was being processed and while the detective went over profiles and case reports, looking for details they might've missed.

You kept yourself from drifting into sleep by scrolling on your phone. When you opened your messages, your brow scrunched together. Agatha hadn't responded to your text, leaving it delivered. Frowning, you started typing but realizing the time, you thought she would be sleeping. Maybe you missing dinner tonight had struck a nerve with your wife. Sighing, you slumped in your chair, practicing your apology in your head. You knew it wasn't common of you to miss dinner, so maybe she had something special planned for tonight, even if it was nowhere near one of your birthdays or an anniversary. But that didn't mean anything, maybe it was a surprise date night. You were so lost in your worry, you almost didn't hear the ping from your computer indicating a match. You read the results, a hint of surprise at the determined sex of the killer. You started to type some notes in an email for Jimmy when your computer indicated it had found an 94% DNA match in a database. You paused, your hands still hovering over your keyboard as the killer's picture came up on your screen.

Time suspended around you, suffocating you as your vision tunneled. The buzzing of your phone broke you out of your stupor and with shaking hands you opened the message from your wife.

aggie❤️: no worries about dinner love, how's the case going?

Your eyes flickered from the text to the picture on your screen, your wife's cold blue eyes staring into your soul. You hesitated before you answered.

You: not well. everything came up a dead end, ig it's back to square one.

You put your phone face down on your desk, quickly exiting out of the page, your wife's picture replaced with your background. Which did nothing to sooth your rapidly panicking state, as it was your wedding photo. You slammed the power button, relief flooding your body at the black screen. With shaky hands, you cradled your head.

This can not be happening. You thought, pinching your arms, desperate to wake up from this vivid nightmare.

This

Can

Not

Be

Happening.

Your phone buzzed with your wife's reply and you read it through blurry vision.

aggie❤️: im sorry to hear that hon. text me when you're on your way home <3

Normally, the heart as the end of the text would send butterflies ablaze in your stomach but now all it did was sending waves of nausea coursing through you. Were there signs you missed? Something you overlooked through the haze of being in love?

Were all these women dead because you were too blind to see what was in front of you the whole time?

You stood up suddenly, your chair crashing behind you. Darcy rushed in, concern lacing her actions.

"Y/N, are you-"

"I have a migraine. Staring at a screen for too long and all that." You cut her off, even giving a slight chuckle at the end to play it off. Darcy still looked concerned but let you gather your things and walk out of the lab.

"If anything comes up, I'll call you!" she called out, not knowing her words caused your stomach to hardened.

As you went to walk out of the station, you noticed Jimmy had recklessly left his gun and holster on his desk.

You walked out of the station, pulling your jacket tight against your body as you got into your car.

No one had noticed Jimmy's gun was no longer on his desk.

a/n: ok I really hope y'all enjoyed this bc ive been waiting to write it for forever!! part 2 will 100% be out tomorrow bc ive already written it lol. I like writing true crime/mystery fics or fics with the same vibe so hopefully I did it well!! thank you for reading and I love all of y'all so much <3 sorry I haven't been writing that much

[the-land-of-dreams]

art dump of random shit from my sketchbook i decided to post. We've got a Talloran I drew in a fit of hysteria (plus a Lament I wasn't going to post but couldn't crop out), an Agatha, a Konny holding The Thang, pocketwatch fluff, a doodle of my take on 590 (i'll post more about him in the future ooooo) and some goofy doodles of baby cog and clover because i just think everyone should look at them actually (sorry the quality is so crusty on all of these)

[newtonsheffield]

"By that point I was just kind of waiting for it to be over..."

Loooolll!!

Like Agatha during sexy times with her old crusty husband?

I don’t think you know how tired of it I was by the end of the season.

If I can keep track of a timeline writing between my 60 hour work week… what’s their excuse.

(also marital rape is a real problem and the way they made light out of it was a bit yikes)

[evkso]

omg agatha crustie shut the fuck up

[bungobble-my-balls]

MAJOR BSD CHAPTER 114.5 SPOILERS

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😫😫😫😫😭😭😭😫

MY POOKIE BEAR MY ANGEL HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO YOU

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO RAISE AYA AND CO-PARENT WITH AND MARRY KUNIKIDA OR REUNITE WITH YOUR CTHULU HUSBAND LOVECRAFT!!!!

YOU WEREN'T MEANT TO GO LIKE THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭

IT HURTS EVEN MORE THE FACT THAT NOT IN A BILLION YEARS WOULD I HAVE SEEN THIS COMING SO I HAD NO TIME TO PREPARE. I READ THE CHAPTER WITH MY BROTHER AND I WAS LITERALLY SCREECHING WHEN I REALISED WHAT WAS HAPPENING I HAD TO STOP READING HALFWAY THROUGH TO LIE FACE FIRST ON THE BED.

I ALSO STARTED SCREECHING AGAIN AT THIS POINT BECAUSE HELLO??? HELLO??!!!!

ALSO A THOUSAND CURSES ON YOUR CRUSTY ASS!!!! YOU PUT SIGMA INTO A COMA, YOU KEEP ME FROM SEEING AGATHA CHRISTIE EVERYTIME YOU COME BACK, AND NOW YOU KILL BRAM!!!! 😭😭😭😤😤😤

IF I CAN'T KILL YOU I'LL PUT YOU IN THAT DAMN GLUE TRAP I SWEAR

[flyingpurplepeopleeater42]

modern au dracula this scifi dracula that well clearly the coolest genre-bending dracula adaptation would be an agatha christie train whodunnit with the surprise twist being not just that they all did it but that the crusty ass caesar cosplayer was the great bitch vampire all along and that killing him was actually a reasonable act of public service

[aparticularbandit]

gently down the stream for WIP Wednesday please!

WIP Wednesday Game | The Thrall of Magic

Have done! Thank you so much for asking, and here are your additional words for Thrall!

And true to her word, she doesn’t.  She doesn’t even try.

Agatha slowly runs her hands up Wanda’s legs, and as she does, Wanda, with her eyes closed, focused entirely on the image Agatha envisions, transforms her sweatpants into thinner caramel tights.  “Wow,” Agatha murmurs in just the tone an awe-struck Agnes would have.  “This is so cool.”  She lets out a low whistle.

Of course, as Wanda’s clothes shift and stretch and sketch themselves into something more in line with Agatha’s design, Agatha makes sure to scrub away any dirt or grime or odor that might linger along Wanda’s skin.  It’s one thing if Wanda doesn’t feel like bathing while she’s been wherever it is she’s been, but a simple change of clothes from something crusty and dirty to something fresh and clean isn’t going to cover everything else, too.  And with Wanda so focused on not delving too far into her mind and on maintaining the magic to make all of these changes, hopefully she won’t even notice.

[hadesoftheladies]

I ABSOLUTELY ABHOR how Lady Agatha’s MARITAL RAPE was portrayed in Queen Charlotte as this casual, almost funny thing with quirky music played in the background like this is a fucking comedic moment

I doubly ABHOR how the beautiful black woman got stuck with the crusty old men as love interests it was so INFURIATING

Bridgerton is such a white liberal’s fairytale and that is its most annoying quality.

[wateringthemelon]

I'm sorry, I love Agatha Danbury, i do but mf have some better choices

Cuz she chose this crusty elderly white double bald spot MARRIED with a child (who is her bff rn) man

This fugly guy with brithday hat rizz

Compared to this beautiful awesome not old very cool, very titled, very German, DUKE, brother of THE QUEEN who is SINGLE and asked her to marry her. He is the shit

She's not in the elderly care business anymore since becoming a widow, why girl whyyy

[transsexualhamlet]

omg please talk more about your lewis and tolkien bsd ocs

kaksdfhgf;shdagih;as the thing is i never really used them for anything so they're not super developed however I just. I really wanted to make author ocs because I love so many authors and since the order of the clock tower exists its imperative i get my say in the awful british men

this is going to turn into a session of my advanced made up bsd lore so uhhh hope you enjoy

(on that note, I kind of wanna make like. a terry prachett oc too. i love that man. he did so much good in the world)

Oh and I can't stand lewis btw. He sucks but I just thought it would be fucking hilarious to make both tolkien and lewis cause they had so much Beef and idk how i could have a tolkien oc without a cs lewis too :pensive:

Also they're both OLD and CRUSTY and natsume's age because that's just necessary. I watched the movie about Tolkien when it came out and I thought it was amazing as well as just. Yknow. Lord of the rings my beloved but yknow.

His inspiration comes from the movie about him, his actual history, and yknow, his writing, but also it's just yknow. I need to fit him into the bsd universe so it is absolutely imperative that he be a queer elder

So I never actually got around to drawing Tolkien, but I imagine him as being around 5'6'' with brownish/goldish eyes and greying blond hair with a green/blue/gold color palate. He basically dresses like your classic hobbit. Comfy cozy cloak time.

He's also autistic with a special interest in languages (clearly) and a widowed old bi ace

He's affiliated with the order of the clock tower, although he generally doesn't agree with their methods and mostly stays around because without him it would be impossible to keep the peace and the world would probably fall to pieces. His main job is a Latin professor at Oxford. He also stays in the order because Arthur Conan Doyle needs to be kept in fucking check (yeah. I made an acd oc as well) and without Tolkien his adoptive dad Doyle would get reckless and die of death after meeting the Detectivecule (mushitarou, ranpo, and poe) or something.

Tolkien mostly stays out of the whole war business because he was also in The War TM as a young whippersnapper and was super overconfident and then all his friends fucking died so he's trying to not do that anymore and to just make sure that. Yknow. No one else dies

CS Lewis is not nearly as much of a developed character as tolkien is, I really just created him so that Tolkien could have Beef lmao. But CS Lewis is also someone in the order of the clock tower and he continues to this day to be high in the order along with Agatha Christie. His ability makes him able to go into any closet and come out of any other closet after going through a space similar to that of Nikolai's cloak. But like. Only if he's thinking Good Thoughts which everyone constantly makes fun of

CS Lewis has ties with Hawthorne in the guild and constant beef with Tolkien, because they were exes back in The Day TM. Yes I said it.

Tolkien's wife was one of those people that died in the war- she was a very strong blacksmith and her ability was to be able to imbue the metal she worked with with supernatural powers to the wearer/wielder. She no longer is alive, but Tolkien still has two of the things she made- the One Ring and Sting, obviously a ring and a sword. The downside to this is yknow. The one ring gives you invisibility but also depression and the sword gives you more strength but it also takes your strength away once you finish using it. Tolkien ideally would not want to use either of those, but the world just keeps getting more and more fucked, and he keeps having to bring those out to fight to protect the people in the order that he loves. So he's terminally ill and dying because of that. He's not gonna be around much longer.

He obviously still has that incredible proficiency in languages and that he can basically read/understand any language and infer a good amount about the culture of the people that used the language, and he is registered in the order of the clock tower as that being his ability. However like Ranpo he is lying and he's just really talented and autistic. However, he does have a real ability- The Book of Arda! (tolkien's 'earth') Yes! The Book! His ability is the book that creates the infinite universes of anything written in it! He obviously doesn't tell people this for security reasons.

How did this book come to be in Yokohama then, you ask, considering Tolkien is British? Well, Tolkien and Natsume are old friends, yknow, from The War. (Tolkien and Fukuzawa also often got tea together in the old days, though Tolkien is too ill for that now.) And after the war that all their friends died in, they came to the conclusion that it needed to be hidden so that Certain People (read: fukuchi and other shitty world leaders) didn't get their hands on it. Natsume was told to seek out someone who had characteristics similar to Tolkien's to entrust the book to before Tolkien dies.

And in comes Oda! Natsume sees Oda as like a younger version of Tolkien, one who went through the same revelation of 'maybe war and killing is not actually a good thing' as him and has the same love for storytelling and for the children of the world. He somehow managed to get his hands on Tolkien's writing, and Natsume knew then he was the guy!

Oda is entrusted to write the end of the original story of the book, since Tolkien is yknow, occupied with dying and all that, and basically, his soul is tied to the book itself. He gets some of that funky ability feedback with the book since (although not as great of a singularity towards the book as dazai's) his ability interacts with the book in an Interesting way. He got some knowledge of the futures of various timelines, including Beast. So yeah, um. He feels that pain too. He doesn't ever see his own death, but he does feel that he probably will die, and he does see everyone else's. He knows he can't actually write the ending of the book even though he wants to, because yknow... things happen, as we all know. He does create Sigma though, to carry on for him in the future shortly before his death. No one knows Oda was the one who like. Did that. He didn't tell anyone, because Natsume told him to be quiet about it for good reason. But he certainly did!

So, um, yeah. I love these guys. I'm going to insert them into my bsd fics for no good reason

[stevie2101]

I'm fucking crying. WandaVision episode 8 oh my god.

"I can't feel you", the whole wave metaphor, seeing sitcoms as a good memory from her time with her dead parents AND with Vision, her not realizing at first that the dismantled parts were Vision and then her horrified reaction when she did, and the deed to the house. Oh my god. They got me so hard. I'm emotionally crushed.

Hate Hayward even more though. Crusty ass bitch 😒

Also, chaos magic!!!!! Holy shit! This means that Billy and Tommy are real! And that she was already magical before! And Agatha didn't create Pietro, which makes it more likely that he IS Peter from the X-Men universe.

God I can't wait until next week. Marvel you're KILLING me.