#All of it. I just... the sentiment alone. The overwhelming... love and safety that we share. it's too much to even joke about this with her

[phoward89]

Masterlist

Dark!Coryo, Dark!Peacekeeper Coryo, Innocent!Reader, Delulu!Coryo, obsession, manipulation, toxic relationship, drinking, cussing, etc

Chapter 4:

“You know, you might want to change into something more casual later- for when we go to the Hobb.” You told Coryo, who had an arm slung over your shoulders possessively while still carrying his sack over his shoulder. It had a few of his personal items in it so you didn't blame him for carrying it around instead of leaving it on your front porch.

“I will, darling.” Assured Coryo, walking with you towards the meadow. “So, how much farther to the meadow?”

“Not much.” You simply told him, spotting the vast green sprawling meadow and the large oak tree in the distance. Pointing it out, you said, “See, it's right over there.”

Gesturing to the meadow and tree up ahead, Coryo chuckled, “It's still quite a walk in this heat to get there.”

“The heat won't really start calming down for another month or so, but sometimes there's an Indian Summer.”

Having never heard of that term while living in the Capitol, he asked, “What’s that, darling?”

“An Indian Summer’s when it's unusually hot in late November, feeling like summer during late autumn.” You explained, causing the peacekeeper to nod.

“I hope District 12 doesn't get that this year.” Coryo grumbled, shuddering at the thought of breakthrough summer weather during late autumn. Ugh, he hates the climate of 12. He prefers the crispness of the Capitol; he's sure that you will too once he gets you there.

And mark his words, he's getting you there. No matter what it takes, Coriolanus is going home to the Capitol with you hanging on his arm.

“You and me both.” You told your new man, electing giggles and chuckles from the two of you. “You know, I still can't believe that I'm your girl.'' You admitted to the platinum peacekeeper when silence settled between you.

“Why not, Y/N? What's so hard to believe?” He asked, pulling you to a stop; tipping your chin up gently so that you'd look at him.

Coryo's crystal blue eyes bore into yours as you admitted, “I dunno, Coryo. I just wasn't expecting you to like me like that’s all.”

“Actually, darling, I don't like you. I love you.” Your peacekeeper confesses with a Cheshire cat grin.

He loves you? But you haven't known him for that long. And, yes, he's sweet and makes you smile- is handsome too, but you're not there yet when it comes to being in love.

“You love me?...” You trailed off in disbelief, your eyes wide as you stare up at him.

Coryo gently cups your cheeks in his hands, while confessing his undying love *cough* obsession *cough* for you. “Y/N, my sweet darling girl, I just knew it was love at first sight when we smiled at each other. That we're meant to be; I’ll show you my love and devotion every chance I get, my little dove.”

You felt a bit overwhelmed by his sudden love confession. You weren't expecting it. You know that Rein and Ashlie aren't going to be so accepting of your relationship with Coryo; that they'll flip if they hear him say that he loves you.

“You don't have to be shy, darling. You can tell me that you love me too.” Coryo sweetly smiled, tenderly swiping his thumbs along your cheekbones.

Coryo looked so hopeful, like a puppy that was excited to see their new owner, and you didn't want to ruin that by telling him you didn't know how to feel. That you weren't in love with him, yet.

Coryo was a nice guy; a good friend that went out of his way to protect you and keep you safe when you first met him. He was concerned about your safety walking alone in the district and he also had no family nearby. He seems easy to get along with.

Maybe you're just nervous because you've never had a boyfriend before?

“I've never told anyone that wasn't family I love you before, Coryo.” You confessed, hoping that would get you off the hook.

Actually, your family rarely exchanges those sentimental words. Life’s harsh in the districts, sentiments aren't viewed as important by your brother: survival is.

“I told you, Y/N, my darling, that you don't have to be shy with me when it comes to such things.” The platinum blonde boy told you, his baby blues shining brightly with obsession- although to you it seemed like adoration. He tilted his head slightly, only to ask in a too sweet tone, “You do love me, don't you, baby?”

You just couldn't say no to him. It'd crush him. Coryo seems so vulnerable right now. You couldn't be the reason that his bright cerulean eyes turned dull. So, you nod and tell him, “Yes, I love you.”

If only you knew how damning uttering those 3 little words would be.

Coryo was a bit unhinged; by telling him that you loved him back you had literally just tethered your soul to him. In this messed up, delusional, touch starved, admiration craving, power hungry, obsessive mind he truly thought that the two of you had some love at first smile bullshit. Coriolanus was desperate for somebody to love him, to be gentle, soothing, comforting, and just unconditionally kind to him, since he's never had that.

To Coryo love is to possess, to obsess, and to own somebody. He over thinks so, of course, he over ‘loves’. But, the thing is, the platinum blonde peacekeeper's so twisted that he doesn't even know what real love is, despite being shown it by his cousin, Tigris. Of course he’s sweet and soft to the object of his affection, it's only natural to be. Plus, if he was mean he wouldn't get the love he craves back, now would he?

Coryo pressed his forehead against yours, feeling like everything was right with the world since you vocalized your love for him. He knew how you felt, but hearing you say it was like heaven on earth. Oh, how he can't wait to ‘make love to you’ err fuck you nicely, to show you the depths of his feelings.

He decided that tonight, after spending some time at the Hobb, he'll have you.

“I'll show you just how much I love you tonight.” Coryo vowed before capturing your lips in a kiss.

Unknown to you and Coryo, Lucy Gray was under the tree in the far off meadow; watching what she assumed was lovers sharing secrets. Seeing Coriolanus twisting you around his finger made her heartsick. She couldn't stick around and wait for the two of you to join her under the meadow’s oak tree.

So, she slung her guitar over her back and took off towards the woods for a quick hike. The songbird was just walking to clear her head; give you and Coryo some time to defile her meadow, her safe space, before having to go to the Hobb and get ready for her show with the Covey tonight.

A show that she hopes you're not bringing Coriolanus Snow to.

“It's beautiful out here.” Coryo told you, leaning against the oak tree while you nestled between his legs with your back resting against his chest. “But not half as beautiful as you.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

The word beautiful to describe you is an understatement in Coriolanus' mindset. To him, you're the most precious thing in his life. Your kindness and friendly demeanor makes you shine like a diamond in his eyes.

He's never met anyone quite like you before. Back in the Capitol girls are very superficial and shallow. They're caked in makeup, sprayed in artificial scents, and squeezed into the latest fashions- may that be corsets, velvetene jumpsuits, silk dresses, or sky-high heels. But not you.

No.

You're genuine, bright, and vibrant in a world full of misery and falsehoods. You're a ray of sunshine in his life. You, in a way, remind him of his mother. From what little Coriolanus can remember of his mother, Demeter, he remembers how gentle and kind she was. How she always smelled of roses, how she was such a caring person; loved him unconditionally.

Yes, you remind him so much of his late mother. No wonder he loves you so much.

Looking up at the man whose arms were wrapped around your waist, you smiled, “And you're a very pretty boy.”

Coryo bent his head down and pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose. “Then, I suppose, we make quite the pair. A beautiful girl and a pretty boy.”

Sighing, you told him the harsh reality of, “Rein and Ashlie aren't going to like us being quite the pair, Coryo.”

Shaking his head, Coryo scoffed, “I don't care what they like or don't like, Y/N. You're my girl, so they need to accept that.”

“What if they never accept you?” You asked, hoping that he wouldn't make you choose between him and your family.

Little did you know that he wouldn't make you choose in that traditional sense. No, he'll make you think that he's supportive; paint your family out as the ones that can't get along with him. And when your family gives you an ultimatum, Coriolanus will be the one telling you that he's the only one that truly loves you; that'll always take care of you.

“Let's just hope that they do, darling.” Coriolanus said, taking one of your hands in his; linking your fingers together. “I love you and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Of course you're not going anywhere, you're stuck here for 20 years.” You reminded Coryo of the conditions of his peacekeeper duties.

Coriolanus prays to gods, he doesn't even believe in, that he won't be stuck in District 12 for the next 20 years. Honestly, to him that'd be a fucking living hell. The only thing he likes about the muddy, depressing, coal district is you and the meadow. Other than that, the district could burn for all he cares.

Your house was empty when you and Coriolanus returned from the meadow. Rein and Ashlie had gone to the Hobb earlier than they needed to. Neither you nor Coryo brought it up, you both know they're avoiding him. No need to talk about it.

“I know it's not much, but this is my room.” You told Coryo, opening up your bedroom door and leading him inside.

Setting his bag down on the floor, he gave you a thin smile. “It's nice, Y/N.” His baby blues took in the simplicity of the room, only to say, “Looks like the bed might be a tight squeeze tho, darling.”

Coriolanus made a mental note to buy you a full size bed when he gets you your own apartment, closer to the barracks. And he's going to get you your own place. In fact, he'll be looking into it come Monday.

Your eyes widened. You didn't think too much of Coriolanus staying at your house for his weekend leave, but now you're realizing that he's expecting you to share a bed with him- being a couple and all. You feel like it's all very sudden; maybe too much too soon.

“I've never shared my bed with a boyfriend before, Coryo.” You admitted as the two of you went over to your bed.

Sitting down, he smugly remarked, “Of course you haven't, baby. I'm the only boyfriend you've ever had.”

The platinum blonde’s proud that you'll only know him as a lover. He honestly can't wait to claim you tonight.

And talk about tonight…

“How long do we have before we need to meet up with Rein and Ashlie at the Hobb?”

“I dunno. Few hours, maybe.” You shrugged.

“Ah.” Coryo simply nodded.

“I made a wild berry pie earlier, we could have a slice to kill some time.” You offered, figuring that Coryo might be hungry.

“I'd like that.” Coriolanus smiled. “How about you go slice us up some pie while I change into my denim fatigues, yea?” He suggested, causing you to just nod in agreement before leaving him alone in your room to change.

So, while you busied yourself with pulling the berry pie off the windowsill and slicing it, Coryo was getting changed. You'd just finished placing your plates and silverware on the wooden table whenever you heard the heavy bootsteps of your boyfriend coming from down the hall. As you grabbed the small bottle of cream, courtesy of your neighbor Tam Amber's goat, you heard Coryo enter the kitchen.

“The last time I had pie was before being sent here; my friend Sejanus' Ma gave me a slice when I was visiting their apartment.” Coryo told you, his baritone full of nostalgia, as he walked up to the table and took a seat.

“What kind of pie was it?” You asked, sitting next to him at the table.

“Blueberry; Ma Plinth put a scoop of ice cream on it too.” He answered, reaching for the bottle of cream set between your pie plates. Pouring some cream onto his pie, he said, “She sends Sej treats; he shares them with me and our squad.” Gesturing to your pie with the glass bottle in his hand, he asked, “Cream?”

Figuring that he was offering to pour some cream onto your pie, you nodded, “Yes, please.”

“Do you bake often?” He asked, pouring some cream on your pie.

“We can't afford baked goods from the Mellark bakery, so I have to bake pies for us.” You honestly told Coryo as the two of you began to eat your berry pie.

It was true, living in the Seam meant that you're so poor that it's a miracle your family has electricity. Hell, your family doesn't have hot water or a bathtub/shower in the bathroom. The bathtub's an old tin tub. You're lucky your shack house has plumbing for a toilet and a kitchen sink.

You live at the end of the line of the Seam; it's considered the poorest place in District 12. And here you are, sitting at your modest kitchen table sharing a pie you baked with a Capitol born and bred peacekeeper. You couldn't help, but start to feel a bit embarrassed at how poor you were compared to the platinum blonde boy sitting next to you.

If only you knew how Coriolanus grew up in a crumbling penthouse without a pot to piss in, eating watery cabbage soup and congealed potatoes for every meal. Then maybe you wouldn't feel so inferior.

Hearing you tell him that you can't afford to buy anything from the bakery breaks Coryo's heart. It also makes him feel for you in a way he's never felt for anyone before- ever in his life. Yes, what he feels for you is empathy.

Which is a feat in and of itself since Coriolanus Snow is not a naturally empathetic man.

“How ‘bout we go to the bakery tomorrow; I'll get you anything you want.” Coryo suggested, his tone saccharine as the corners of his mouth turned up into a slight smile.

The idea of going to the bakery to get something excited you. You've never been able to do that before because you've never had the money to. But now Coryo’s in your life and wants to treat you to something from the Mellark Bakery.

Just the thought of it puts a smile on your face.

“I’d like that.” You told Coryo before taking another bite of pie.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence while eating pie together. It felt nice, just spending time with him. If only you knew that he'd be making sure that he's the only one you ever spend any of your time with, ever again.

It was dusk whenever you and Coryo emerged from your house to go to the Hobb. He kept a protective arm wrapped around you while walking to your destination. You got a few judgemental or dismayed looks from people wandering around- mostly headed to the same place you are.

The Hobb.

“So, is the Hobb a bar or a nightclub?” Coriolanus asked as street lamps started to appear, signaling that the two of you are entering the Merchant Sector of the district.

Coriolanus knew that Lucy Gray and her Covey performed shows at the Hobb, but other than that he didn't know much about the place. He wondered if it was something like Pluribus’ nightclub. Or maybe it's smaller, more plain since it's in 12 after all.

“No.” You shook your head. “It’s an old abandoned coal warehouse that's been turned into a large black market and dance hall. In the very back there's a wooden stage made of crates that my neighbors perform on; there's also a makeshift bar that separates the market part of the Hobb from the dance hall part.”

“Lucy Gray's your neighbor?” Coryo asked, his baritone full of anger and resentment, as you walked along the cobblestone streets of the nicer part of the district. “I hope you're not friends with the little songbird.” He said very condescendingly.

“Of course I'm friendly with her. Why wouldn't I be?” You told him, only for your brows to knit curiously. Looking up at the platinum blonde, whose buzzcut brightly glows like a halo due to the streetlights, you ask, “Have you heard about her?”

“No, I had the unpleasant experience of meeting the manipulative little bird-boned girl myself in the Capitol.” Coryo spat out, as if the words were sour on his tongue. The peacekeeper wouldn't leave it be. No, instead he went on a rant of, “She's no victor, just a manipulative whore living off her charms while I'm forced to serve here. If it wasn't for me getting her out of that arena and back to her Covey, she'd be dead in a den of rainbow snakes.”

Oh no…The lightbulb went off and suddenly, you figured out that Lucy Gray batted her eyes at him and he wooed over her; causing him to cheat to ensure she became the victor. You don't have a tv, so you don't know what happened, other than Lucy Gray saying that she had to sing for her life and use her snake charming skills at the end. But now you're pretty sure that Coryo cheated; somehow got her scent aka pheromones to the snakes to make her a friendly familiar to them.

You didn't like snakes, but you knew enough about them from what you read in your apothecary book. So you know that your boyfriend had to get your neighbor’s scent into their cage or something before the snakes were dumped into the arena. Dens and pits of snakes will attack strange scents; especially when they feel endangered or threatened.

And now you know why Coryo looks at you like a puppy. He literally has no one, but his friend from home, because he was drafted into Peacekeeper service as punishment for cheating: for rigging the games for Lucy Gray's survival.

“You dropped something of hers into the snakes’ cage, to get them familiar with her pheromones.” You stated, not asked, in a whisper as you spotted the arch up ahead that marked the end of the Merchant Sector and the entrance to the warehouse and coal headquarters.

Coriolanus looked down at you, a proud, but slick smirk on his face. Your background in apothecary aided you in your aha moment about how he cheated. Of course you're smart, you're his girl. His other half. Only his girl would be intelligent enough to put the puzzle pieces together about what he did without having to see the physical evidence.

You're smarter than those fake twists back in the Capitol. Kinder and more beautiful too.

Oh, how he's blessed to have you by his side. He wonders if this is how his father felt when he met his mother? His father was gone a lot, ironically General Crassus Snow was the Commander here in 12 and refused to have his wife and son live in such squalor; would take leave to make family visits, so he doesn't remember much about him. But he does remember how his father's cold icy eyes would lighten up slightly when his mother was by his side; how his deep, stern voice would soften by a slight octave while talking to her.

Yes, the way Coryo feels about you has to be the same way his father felt about his mother. It just has to be; nobody can tell him otherwise.

Coriolanus knew that he couldn't tell you the exact truth of what happened to land him here in 12 as a Peacekeeper, but he also knew that the best lies were actually twisted half truths.

So, he spun you the half-assed truth of, “As my Academy graduation project I was assigned to be her mentor in the games. During one of our strategy meetings, she cried and I wiped her tears with my handkerchief; then when I learned the snakes would be unleashed in the arena, I placed the handkerchief in the terrarium.”

“You got caught when the cleanup crew found the hankie on the floor because it had your name or initials on it, right?” You concluded as the two of you walked under the arch; entering the area the Hobb was in.

“Yes.” Coriolanus nodded. It's just his dumb luck that he has the same initials as his late father; that he had to use his father's old handkerchiefs because, despite being talented with a needle, Tigris couldn't afford to make him shirts and handkerchiefs- the material has to be used sparingly and wisely.

“Then Dean High-as-a-kite-bottom sent me here as punishment.” Your boyfriend hatefully hissed, sounding like a snake about to strike its enemy.

You wanted to ask why he called his dean what he did, but you never got the chance.

Turning to you with disapproval blazing in his baby blues, he ordered, “I don't want you hanging around Lucy Gray or the Covey anymore. She's no good, Y/N.”

“But, Coryo-” You started to object, only to be roughly cut off by Coryo's bitter snap of, “A girl like her, a lying, manipulative whore that sings on live Capitol TV about living off her charms; whoring herself out, while her ex runs off with the Mayor's daughter, isn't somebody I want my girl to be around.”

Dragging you towards the warehouse people were flocking to, Coriolanus seethed in a sickeningly sweet baritone, “If I say you can't talk to somebody then you better listen cause I love you; just wanna keep you safe.”

Not wanting to ruin the night, which was meant to be a good time dancing with Coryo at the Hobb, you nod and squeak out, “Okay.”

Coriolanus feels that the Hobb's a crowded, dirty, dingy, smoke infested, shithole of a dive bar. Hell, calling it a bar's a bit much since the place’s a warehouse turned into a bar with dancing and live music- courtesy of Lucy Gray and the Covey. Being in a tin building meant that the clanking of boots on the wooden dance floor loudly echoed into the air, bouncing around in the platinum blonde peacekeeper's head like a pinball.

He didn't like it one bit. He'd rather be back home in the Capitol at a proper nightclub. Oh, he makes a mental note to take you to a posh nightclub when he takes you back to the Capitol with him- when the time comes. And hopefully it comes soon because he doesn't know how much longer he can handle living out in the districts like some filthy scumbag peasant.

The excited smile on your face makes him crack a smile. Despite the Hobb being a shithole, being out with him made you happy. You're proud to be seen with him, so he decides to stop getting lost in his head and just enjoy the night with you.

A night that's going to be full of drinking, dancing, and fucking.

The fucking will be after he takes you home, but he's sure that you'll enjoy that too.

As he guides you down some rickety steps that are so rusted he's afraid they'll buckle under his weight let alone yours, in order to get to the main dance floor of the Hobb, Lucy Gray spots you. She nearly fumbles her song at the sight of Coriolanus’ large hand in yours, your fingers laced together, as he leads you downstairs to the dance floor. The look in his eyes unnerves her. His crystal blue eyes seem dark, sinister almost, with an unchecked emotion.

One that Lucy Gray's only seen gleaming in not so nice men.

She continues to sing, watching as Coriolanus spots somebody seated at the tables against the wall. Her worried brown eyes follow you as Coriolanus leads you over to where a big-boned young man with a dark buzzcut and a baby face was sitting. His fellow peacekeeper rose from the table, only to clasped Coriolanus on the shoulder before giving you a friendly hug. The small he gave you and Coriolanus was warm and genuine.

Lucy Gray just hopes that Coriolanus' friend can keep you safe from the cold blooded snake. Because any young man that can lead on a girl, who's afraid to die, and convince her that he cares so she'll stay alive to win him a prize is a man that'll do and say anything to get what he wants.

You're her neighbor and friend; she'd hate for something to happen to you because of Coriolanus.

“Thank you, thank you, everyone!” Maude Ivory called out to the crowd as soon as her cousin finished her song. “This next song, well, you all know it; it's a good’un to do some two-steppin’ dancing, to.” The blonde tween cheerfully announced, stomping her feet. “So, 12, let's have a good ol' time tonight! Let's have it for Lucy Gray Baird and the Covey!” Maude Ivory shouted, causing the rest of the members of the Covey to appear on stage with their instruments in hand.

“Sej, can you get us some drinks? I'm gonna dance with my girl.” Coryo told his friend, who reminded you of a big teddy bear, before dragging you off to the dance floor.

Sejanus didn't even get a chance to blink let alone give his best friend an answer. But, seeing him spinning you around on that dance floor with a look of love in his usually hard eyes and a bona fide smile on his face made it hard for Sejanus to be annoyed with his friend. Without giving it a second thought, he left the table to go grab some jars of moonshine for you and Coryo.

Leaning against the bar was your brother, Rein. He was nursing his umpteenth jar of shine for the day while Ashlie, his girlfriend, worked the bar. He spotted you on the dance floor with Coryo, smiling and giggling as he spun you around with his fancy Capitol moves. Showing off like some big fucking hot shot.

Rein just shook his head and tipped back his jar. He wasn't drunk enough to watch you fall victim to some peacekeeper's affections and advances.

But you know what they say:

Like mother, like daughter.

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[misscorn]

Day 3 Favor/Home

Heey, my following entries for @sihjrweek are all gonna be a bit late because I had company visiting this weekend (and I write all of these the week of instead of planning ahead) but I'm still participating I promise lol

***

Saga Masamune had a rather bleak outlook on what the word 'home' meant. Home was where he slept, ate, showered. and now home was where Sorata was too. Those were the most positive aspects he could come up with when trying to describe 'home'. As someone who read all sorts of stories there were bound to be books that came into his possession that had themes revolving around homes and families. Considering what he read he knew that not everyone had the same attitude as him.

Saga didn't like abandoning books, but he did find it difficult to finish ones that heavily focused on those topics. They just made him...uncomfortable. He couldn't help but to cringe when reading a description of warm and loving feelings between family members. He was always taken out of the experience if the main character expressed an urgency and desperation to go home. Saga just couldn't seem to relate to that kind of story, let alone enjoy it.

It was worse when it was a book he could relate to. It made him feel far too seen, like he was a specimen under observation being poked and pointed at. That made him want to crawl out of his own skin. Saga much preferred stories that focused on other topics. He tried to avoid any books that obviously revolved around these themes, but sometimes they were incorporated into books he didn't expect and he ended up an unwilling participant in the story.

For Saga, home was a place to be avoided. Home was a cold, quiet and lonely place. When it was filled with any kind of warmth, that warmth was unwelcomed hot rage. The usual silence was only ever broken by shouting, though now there was the occasional meow that could be a comfort. Still, there was no sense of belonging to be found. No feeling of safety. No love.

That was what the word 'home' meant to Saga Masamune.

At least, it had meant that for a long time.

Oda Ritsu had unintentionally altered Saga's whole way of operating. At first it was very small changes - ones that Saga had even actively resisted - but then seemingly all at once Saga's entire being was overtaken with Ritsu this and Ritsu that. It was downright infuriating to be so infatuated with his dorky underclassman, but it was like the more he tried to run away from it, the stronger these new feelings grew.

Home was no longer such a dreaded idea either - not if Ritsu was accompanying him. Home started to take on new meanings: privacy, quality time, even pleasure. Ritsu had his own warmth he brought with him, but it wasn't anything like the burning fury of his parents that would overtake the house until it felt inhospitable. Ritsu's warmth was a gentle glow, a source of solace that drew Saga in. The warmth of Ritsu's body pressed against his, the warmth of Ritsu's bright red cheeks, the warmth of Ritsu's kindness, it was almost overwhelming, but at the same time Saga selfishly wanted it all to himself.

Saga had always hated the sentiments behind sayings like 'home is where the heart is' or 'a house is not a home', but watching Ritsu drool a little in his sleep right next to him on a random Saturday night had Saga thinking that maybe he finally understood what those sayings meant.

Takano Masamune didn't feel any different some odd eleven years later, staring at Ritsu on yet another random night, though Ritsu was not quite asleep yet.

"Do you want something?" Ritsu scowled.

"No." Masamune answered.

"Then why are you staring at me?"

"You're nice to look at."

Ritsu made a strangled noise.

"And I love you." Masamune added.

Ritsu grabbed his pillow - Masamune having finally gotten a second one - and lightly hit him with it.

"Be quiet and go to sleep, will you? We have to be up early tomorrow and I can't sleep with you watching me like a creep."

"You sure didn't have that issue in high school."

Ritsu blinked. "What do you mean by that?"

"I'd stare at you all the time when you slept over." Masamune admitted, not ashamed or embarrassed whatsoever. "You were cute. You drooled a lot."

"N-No I did not!" Ritsu denied immediately. "And why were you watching me in my sleep?!"

"You're nice to look at and I love you." Masamune repeated. "Are you really going to pretend like you haven't watched me in my sleep?"

Ritsu elected not to make a comment on that, turning over so his back was to Masamune.

"Please just close your eyes." Ritsu quietly pleaded, pulling the blanket up to his chin. "...I love you too, but seriously, I can't sleep like this."

Masamune pressed close, wrapping an arm around Ritsu's middle to hold him tight. Still just as warm, he thought, granting his boyfriend just a little bit of mercy by finally drifting to sleep.

[izzy-b-hands]

Day Three: Amends or Shore Leave

My brain and the prompts for this day were not cooperating, absolutely refused to be written, so I did my best with my fourth version here for Amends. Fairly short as a result, but, written!

Izzy is sentimental and regretful, and Stede misses Arthur. Enter a n opportunity to do something nice for Stede, to try and say an additional 'sorry.'

Ed's just enjoying his boyfriends being sweet to and on each other. Also, he finally gets to meet Arthur, as does anyone else who wants to!

---

"I told him it's water under the bridge," Stede gasps, exasperated. "What has he done?"

"Nothing ridiculous."

"He's the one who suggested more fireworks for fuckeries, so you'll forgive me if I don't believe you."

Ed shrugs. "Then don't believe me. But you'll like it, and it helps him feel like he's making amends more."

"But he doesn't need to!"

"I tried telling him as much. He's stubborn."

There's hide nor hair of Izzy until nearly the end of the day, when they pull into port-

"Not here," Stede strides down the deck, calling after Ed. "Ed, everyone here thinks I'm dead-"

"This is a little side dock, privately owned," Ed says soothingly. "No one knows we're here except them."

"And who is them, exactly? And why are we trusting them?"

"They're Doug's parents. From what you've told us of Doug, they seemed trustworthy enough."

Stede pauses mid-step. "Oh. I didn't know they had any property like this."

"A recent acquisition, a gift from Mary," Ed smiles. "Or so the letter from her and Doug said."

"What on earth have you and Izzy done to involve all of them?"

"You know how you keep bringing up Arthur?"

Stede nods. "Silly, but he was dear to me."

"Thought he was a horse?"

It takes a moment. "Ed."

"Sorry, I'm supposed to be stalling for time," Ed chuckles. "But I think we have your surprise ready!"

On the shore, tied to an impromptu post, stands Arthur.

"Izzy really did most of it. Reached out to Mary and Doug, to Doug's parents after that, and then paid to have him transported out this way," Ed continues. "But we both wrote the letters together, and I tossed in some coin as well."

"All so I could see him again?" Stede asks softly.

"He's getting older, and Iz thought you might like a last chance to see him. Just in case we don't make it back this way before-"

Stede nods. "Right. Where is he? I should thank him."

"You know he's still not quite so confident in the more...sentimental moments, like this," Ed says. "Think he's afraid the crew will take the piss constantly if he cries, or shows any-"

"They might for a day, but it's not meant in any ill will," Stede interrupts. "Is he in his room?"

"Has been since we got within eyeshot of shore. But go see Arthur first. Izzy would prefer it, and our time is slightly limited for your safety. No one should know we're here, and I'm fairly confident in that, but..."

"Why take risks if we don't need to. This is something of a risk, stopping here at all. And he really did, for me-"

"Go see your horse," Ed pats his back. "And you can see Iz after."

The time passes quickly. Doug's parents are lovely, Arthur is slower but still kind and sweet, and seemingly happy to see him again.

They finally sail off after the sun has set, and everyone else has gotten a chance to meet Arthur if they wanted.

And Izzy hasn't left his room once.

"Izzy?" Stede knocks on the door to his room. He keeps it only for these moments of being overwhelmed or uncertain, where he tells them he fears burdening them with whatever he has on his mind.

He says it's easier to be alone then, but Stede can't help but always want to knock right away to check on him.

"Yeah?" is the scraggly reply. He's been crying, and it's audible enough to have been going on for awhile.

"Can I come in? Or would you come back to our usual room?"

The door opens, and Izzy drops back onto his bed as Stede walks in. "All went well, Ed says."

"Ed is correct," Stede sits beside him. "Thank you. I hadn't thought of how Arthur getting on in years, and if you hadn't done this...probably wouldn't have gotten a chance to say goodbye, even if he lives a decent bit of time after this. I'm grateful for that."

"Fang didn't really get to say goodbye," Izzy wipes a tear away. "To his dog, and it's always bothered me. It wouldn't have been done at the time, with the way-"

"Things were, at the time."

"Right. But it still should have been. You know, my mum had me put down any animals that had outlived their use to her. Silly, but it always killed me that I was the last one to say goodbye to them, only to be the one to make the killing blow."

"I don't think that's silly," Stede tentatively wraps an arm around him, holding tighter when Izzy melts against him. "It would bother me too. Shame you didn't get to meet Arthur now, actually."

"I did," Izzy smiles weakly. "A few weeks back, when you sent myself and some of the others out to scout around-"

"You were really going all the way back here to finish arranging things," Stede interjects. "I shouldn't be surprised."

"I asked to see him off," Izzy continues. "Arthur, that is. He's older, figured he might not want to travel or be up to it. I'm something of an old nag myself; who knows how much longer I'll be able to sail and-"

"You are not that old."

"I'm old enough," Izzy sighs, but not unhappily. "He does have kind eyes."

"He does! Mary never got it, but he does!" Stede says. "The crew enjoyed meeting him too. Even got a bit weepy, some of them. I think more of us have left behind pets than we know."

"Frenchie won't go for a ship cat."

"What if it was a Main Coon? They're as close to a dog as a cat can get, or so I'm told."

"You have to convince him, not me," Izzy smiles. "Shall we head into bed?"

"Ed's in there waiting for us. Said we can't complain if he's taking up all the bed, because we weren't in there to stop him."

"He's absolutely right."

"He is."

[rye-views]

Free Food for Millionaires by Min Jin Lee. 8.2/10

I would recommend this book to my friends. I would reread this book.

It was easy to relate to the angry relationship Casey had with her father. The mom part was different since her mom would tell her to apologize vs. other moms who stay quiet and ignore.

I like how Ella and Tina both look up to Casey. I like how Ella seems meek at first as she sees this girl she admires but can talk back to her with strength and belief. I love how Min Jin Lee is able to make such distinct characters that are so believable. Noticing it more after reading her preface note.

Leah's got game.

I don't like Charles. His way of coping through life is too strict, suffocating, and it infringes on others. He's entitled and dominating. He's a rapist and delusional. To think the sex was mutual is wrong.

I hate all the things Ella has to go through, but I really love the growth and change I see in her throughout the book. Bad things happen to good people and despite how sad and tragic that is, growth from it is amazing.

There's this slight line the book often dances with as men look down on weak-seeming women. Or even the need to protect them. It kinda disgusts me, especially because these are women I'd love to get to know.

Ted's mom is so good. She knows what's right. I wish I knew what my mom thinks in her head, but it definitely wouldn't be like Ted's mom.

The chapter titles are so good.

I really love this book because I see bits of each character in myself, my family, and my friends. Casey is so different from me, but we are also the same.

Memorable Quotes: "Craft strengthened the feelings and thoughts of the writer." "Great fiction required not just lovely words or fine feelings, it demanded emotion, structure, ideals, and bravery." "I could hear the silences in a sentence." "This life was unexpected." "It was always awkward after he hit her." "she decided that she could not afford to look too critically at what was home, because it hurt." "It's exciting, so exciting to be wanted by someone you like." "with love, you have to march into the possibility of losing." "He was a pleasure to take care of because he had beautiful manners." "Life seemed too vast, so many things to consider, and she was overwhelmed." "'I think…if a mind can…a mind must wrestle before declaring victory. Really wrestle.'" "It's your soul you're fighting for." "turning the corners of events and ideas." "My record disputes such unfair charges." "The past couldn't be corrected by explanations." "intimate and amused by whatever she saw or heard." "How could anyone tell you who you are?" "Casey didn't know what to do with all this sincerity." "Another day would hardly matter." "Life was just guesswork even if you were an eyewitness." "looking like a man who knocked down his fears on a daily basis" "hardship being the mother of imagination." "Working hard for good grades had made sense because she loved learning itself--the acquisition of new ways of seeing things and possessing new facts--but the good grades hadn't sustained her" "yet were unable to believe in the things they weren't smart enough to rationalize." "The Bible was endlessly referring to itself" "Life would not let you alone." "What do you do with silence?" "Casey had compromised on sex, her goals, her morality, but somewhere she had set a boundary that she didn't want to compromise on love. But was she being extreme? Was no love better than a love without enough understanding?" "She had never before felt so chosen and recognized by someone so important and smart, and this feeling was near impossible to walk away from." "how they interrupted the flow of all the other words that didn't offend." "Not knowing how to sound angry herself, she had borrowed his style." "A spectacular failure was better than safety." "We all fuck up. Even those of us who know better. So we'll fix it." "Generosity was always suspect." "Drinking made everyone sentimental and ridiculous." "thinking of the strange victories found in a woman's refusal." "It was a form of wealth bestowed upon you when a good person took you in like that." "Casey was beginning to understand that what mattered was not what you could do, but what you believed you could do." "wondered what was the point of rising in the world if the height was so insecure." "It would have been a relief if someone shot her dead." "There was a debt owed to a person who gave you beauty and feeling." "It was easier in life, then, to just go along." "she felt moved by its sentiment and loveliness." "She was more careful with the way she said things." "But since I am being nothing if not presumptuous today, I might as well just say it" "Casey was twenty-six years old, but she didn't feel anything close to happiness." "Seen Everything. Done Everything. Remember Nothing." "but every girl felt the insult not to be considered." "courtship was a mutual delusion" "You can be grateful and angry. Such feelings can coexist." "She had accomplished nearly impossible goals by recognizing her finest and ugliest feelings and everything in between." "People like Ella knew how to get in touch with others, no one was ever mad at them." "That silence or deferral until the time is safe permits others to interpret our characters and lives for us."

[nehts]

So fucking normal tonight. I'm realising that I could absolutely fool my beloved wife into seeing the Voryn ball post again because I sent her discord messages about another post entirely - so she has reason to check her tumblr DMs .

I won't. but the temptation is killing me right now

[hesitantmiranda]

allow me to talk about tommy and tubbos dsmp characters for a moment yeah ?? because i find it interesting how differently the trauma tubbo and tommy went through affected them and how it changed their behaviors and decision making.

tubbo went from a happy go lucky kid to a harden war soldier who doesn’t trust easily nor let his emotions control him. he used to be at tommys side at the drop of a pin and was dedicated to helping others while making himself happy. now he’s distanced. whether he’s distanced himself consciously or subconsciously i’m not quite sure but his primary response behaviors to the trauma he’s faced has been his need to start over, change everything, and become a hardened person who demands to be taken seriously.

tommy on the other hand... is quite the opposite. tommy was seen as this brash type of character who likes to cause mischief and although this behavior is still a part of him, it’s diminished quite a lot following his trauma. he used to be driven by passion and emotions, valuing sentiments and relationships above all else. but now he’s an empty shell of what he once was. hes driven by his desperate yearning to feel that happiness comfort and safety he once used to feel. he’s gone all the way to the point of him becoming like a child again. a panicked, on edge, traumatized child who can’t let go of the past and was on the cusp of growing up but never got the chance to. he desperately wants people in his life, yet fervently pushed them away. he now reacts on impulsive emotions rather than passionate emotions.

and THIS is what i find so interesting about their characters and their dynamic. they virtually switched places with each other but to a much more significant degree. aside from that though the thing i want to note is the one common consistency that ties both of their behaviors.

and that’s their responses to change.

tubbo has a strong desire, almost, if not actually, a strong NEED for change. tommy is overwhelmingly adverse to change and wants everything to go back to how it used to be. from an outside perspective and quick glance at them, this seems not the case but when their actions are actually looked at it proves quite true.

this is why tubbo moved to and made snowchester. this is why he married ranboo and had a kid all so quickly. this is why so much of his personality changed so quickly. this is why he was okay with not having tommy move into snowchester with him. tgis is why he was content never needing to visit dream in prison for ‘closure reasons’. he needs change. he needs to get away and leave his past to the past.

and on tommys end this is why hes jealous of ranboo being so close to tubbo. this is why he gets overwhelmed simply by just walking the prime path and seeing so many buildings he doesn’t recognize. this is why he wanted to stay in his old dirt house, even if it meant being alone. this is why he felt the need to visit dream multiple times in prison. he desperately clings onto the past in a futile attempt to regain what he once had and what he once felt. hell, in one of tommys streams ranboo straight up said to tommy, “so what i’m getting is you don’t really like it when things change?” to which tommy paused for a second then eventually replied, “... yeah, i guess i don’t.” this is the FIRST time we see him finally admitting that despite his actions showing us that for a very long time.

moving on to the most recent lore, where tommy and tubbo were both given the opportunity to side with wilbur and sell things out of a van once again like in the l’manberg days.

when given the opportunity to side with wilbur, tubbo chose to move on from his past and side with quackity. a new start. he even tells ranboo that part of his incentive was quackity promising him a better life then he’s ever had. promising him a new start and a new purpose that he could find through las nevadas.

tommy decided to stay with wilbur, clutching to the past, the good old lmanberg days, and desperately hoping that wilbur is the person he was before pogtopia. before he blew up the nation that they built together. before he ruined everything tommy ever loved and cared about. he even told quackity that he feels a moral and emotional responsibility and dependancey to stick by wilburs side due to the familial bond he thinks they share.

their behaviors are very consistent with their trauma responses as they always pick the thing that aligns with their trauma responses. for tubbo it’s moving on. just like he did with snowchester, with ranboo, leaving tommy’s side, and now with quackity and las nevadas. and for tommy it’s refusing change. just like with his house, with him disliking building he doesn’t recognize, having some form of contempt towards ranboo for “taking tubbo away from him”, and now with staying by wilburs side. they’re both very well written characters whom i admire greatly as someone who’s literally in a media making major, it’s quite the perfect tragic character dynamic.

i don’t know what the future holds for them but i’ve had the primary thesis of this analysis written out for about 4 months now and time and time again they keep proving me true as they continue to make decisions based on their subconscious behavioral responses to trauma.

[jisungscaramel]

vexation | hyunjin

❀ genre; smut, college au, enemies au  ❀ pairing; hyunjin x reader (fem) ❀ word count; 2.7k 

[warning] strong language, explicit sexual content, dry humping, (mild) begging, hate sex

There it was: Hwang Hyunjin, name beautifully printed right above yours. You shuddered in complete disgust, not believing that you were paired with him of all people for your history presentation. There were 34 students in the class; that meant you had a whopping 97% chance of being paired with literally anyone else, but no. Your professor, Dr. Zhang, just had to pair you with him. 

Overachiever: that was an understatement. He was the type to want all of the glory for the taking, the type to enjoy making others feel like they were dumb, the type who had no issue in forsaking common morals for his own gain. 

You couldn’t fucking stand him. 

Begrudgingly, you stood up from your original seat, trudging your feet to sit next to him - at your professor’s instruction, of course. You planned on at least being polite, and you thought for a second that he might do the same, but he didn’t even bother looking at you, staring through to the front of the room, eyes stoic. If he was trying to provoke you, it was definitely working. 

You dropped your backpack to the ground, unceremoniously, sound drowning in the increasing levels of chatter in the small lecture hall, but clearly loud enough to make his composure teeter; his head jerked back a millimeter, a minuscule gesture but it was painfully obvious to you. And you let out an equally obvious slew of snickers before sitting back in the seat, neck meeting the old frayed fabric as you tilted your head back, arms stacking on one another as you folded them, woman spreading to occupy more real estate than you actually required.

You had to at least try to keep yourself amused. 

Hyunjin began scribbling mindlessly on a blank piece of paper - still acting as if you were not even there. 

He slammed the white sheet down on your knee, sending vibrations straight up your leg rather rudely. 

Asshole. 

Oh, baby, he hadn’t even started yet. 

“Okay. We’re doing our paper on I-Hotel and… I’m gonna write it. All you have to do is find these books for me at the library.” He turned to look at you with a very aggravating smirk… maybe you’d notice the tiniest hint of flirtation if the feeling of overwhelming irritation didn’t encompass you. 

But the chance passed when his countenance morphed into counterfeit concern, tapping his chin in contemplation for added effect, “although, I think the library’s computer system is down… I guess you gotta find them the old-fashioned way.” God, you just wanted to smack that smug grin right off his face. “I’d love to help you with that... but I’m just too busy…” It should’ve been illegal for intolerable people to be that gorgeous.

You blinked in complete confusion. “Ummm… excuse me?” 

“I’m… sorry… do… I… need… to … talk… slower…?”

You gingerly picked up the piece of paper, promptly getting up from your chair, glaring at him. You made sure your backpack was secure on your shoulder before dramatically lifting the note in front of his face to tear what he wrote to shreds, scattering the bits over his laptop’s keyboard. “Stick a motherfucking cactus up your ass.” 

You stormed out of that hall with your head high, not daring to look back despite your innate desire to see his response - you were sure it was priceless. 

‘I’ll just have to do this damn thing on my own.’

Oh, if it could only be that simple. 

The first thing that popped up on your laptop when you opened it from the safety of the library was an unexpected email. 

Since you ripped up my list - rather rudely I might add - I’ve attached the list of the books I require. I will be at the library at four PM sharp. Please plan accordingly. Hyunjin 

“Fuck.” 

‘Plan accordingly,’ your ass, according to you, your plan was to minimize the amount of time you had to spend dealing with Hyunjin, and you had been 100% sure he had the same sentiment… so much for that. 

Speaking of the devil, as soon as you decided to dismiss his outlandish request and settle in to get some of your research started, Hyunjin yanked your attention away from your laptop with merely his presence, almost as if your nerves were hypersensitive to his saccharine dipped aura, and most definitely not to the signature sway of his frame as he walked. 

You didn’t dare grant him the luxury of your direct gaze. Instead, you kept a close eye on him in your peripheral, hoping you’d blend in with the people around you… but there was still at least a 92% chance he’d see you.

“Did you get my sources?” and now he was right in front of you, nothing but a measly table in between. 

Your nostrils flared in an effort to not retort back at Hyunjin, eyes still fixed on your screen in a successful attempt to ignore him. 

Then he pushed your laptop closed, hand planted firmly on the device rather invasively. “Excuse me, I’m talking to you.”

You gritted your teeth, tilting your head up in a menacing stare, eyes narrowing, eyebrows furrowing. “What do you want?” 

God, you didn’t know his smile could get more fake than it already was. “I told you to get my sources for me,” his tone was exaggeratedly slow, “did you get my sources?” 

You shoved his hand away from your laptop. “Get your own sources.” 

Immediately his fake smile turned into a sincere snicker, rolling his eyes off to the side. “Uptight bitch.” 

His words sank in for a moment. “You wanna say that again?” 

He leaned over the table, face a mere six inches from yours. “Uptight,” you could feel your fists involuntarily clenching, digging into your palms what would soon be prominent crescents in a matter of seconds, “bitch.” 

You almost raised your palm to gratuitously slap him across the face but the simmering mellowness in you kept a tight grasp of your boiling anger. You leaned back in your seat in an effort to widen the physical gap (or the lack thereof) between you. “Fuck off.”

<><><><><><> 

“Hyunjin, y/n, can you both come down to the podium,” Dr. Zhang added at the end of his lecture, halting your plans to b-line straight to the library. 

As the aisles began to empty, you made your way down the steps to the front of the room, purposefully standing at the side opposite of Hyunjin, frankly paying no mind to him for all intents and purposes. 

Your professor glanced between you two, clearly noticing the oddity of the image but purposefully choosing to ignore it. 

“I noticed that both of you submitted first drafts for your paper, and at first I thought it was an accident, until I opened both files and realized you’re writing completely separate papers. Care to explain?” 

“Yeah y/n, care to explain?” What a fucking dicktard. 

Your lips pressed into a thin line as you wracked your brain for some feasible excuse. “Well,” but nothing came to mind… oh fuck it, “we’ve had issues working with each other.” 

Dr. Zhang raised an eyebrow cautiously. “Elaborate.”

“We really don’t get along.”

He sighed, crossing his arms. “Well you’re gonna have to try to find some middle ground. I’ll give you two a second chance to put a first draft together. If you can submit a collaborative piece by midnight, I’ll still give you full credit for that part. If not, it stays as a zero. Subsequently, you will keep getting zeroes for the following checkpoints if you submit them separately. Any questions?” 

“No, sir,” much to your surprise, that was the first moment thus far wherein both you and Hyunjin were on the same wavelength. 

“Good, that is all.” 

You felt like two negatively charged magnets as you walked side by side up the aisle to the exit. “I’m not getting a zero for this,” Hyunjin spoke up. 

You rolled your eyes. “At least we can agree on that.”

As the cold, crisp air of the outside refreshed your nerves, he lightly gripped your shoulder, swerving you to face him. “Look, I know we’re like oil and water, but I’m willing to at least try to get along for the grade.” His fingers trembled on your shoulder; his teeth lightly grazed his bottom lip, eyes searching yours for a sign of truce. 

Needless to say, the sentiment from him was unexpected. You exhaled deeply, brushing his hand from you. “Fine.”

<><><><><><><> 

But two hours spent alone in a library study room proved to be more difficult than originally anticipated. Trying to work together felt like pulling teeth - a true collaboration of absolute vexation.  

“What about this passage?” You pointed to some text in a book you were sifting through. 

He swiveled his chair around, only looking at your find for a solid half a second before, turning back around. “Nah, that’s not good enough to use as evidence.” 

“What the fuck, Hyunjin? You didn’t even read it.”

“I didn’t have to. I assumed whatever you found was as subpar as everything else you’ve ‘found.’”

You dropped the book on the table with a loud plonk, partially in shock at what he said and partially due to a natural tendency to want to irritate him. “Well let’s see what you ‘found,’” leaning over the table in a relaxed manner, carrying a dash of nonchalance as you scrolled through his writing. “You call this good evidence?”

“What on earth are you talking about?” You wanted to laugh at his defensive tone. 

“It’s obvious that you’re framing your own narrative by taking shit outta context. Not to mention all the ellipses and brackets are terrifically horrendous, visually. You’re taking literally all the credibility out.” 

“What do you know? I doubt you even read that article,” he dismissed your legitimate critique in a manner you unfortunately predicted. 

“As a matter of fact, I did… two. hours. ago. And you told me the article didn’t seem ‘reliable’ enough for you, but here you are… you must think I’m fucking stupid.” 

The side of his lips curved up in the slightest smirk. “Not true, I think you’re annoyingly absentminded.” 

You rolled your eyes for the umpteenth time in the past minute, whispering, “fucking cockmaggot,” under your breath, diverting your attention back to your screen. 

“What did you just say?” His tone suggested he wasn’t being rhetorical - he really didn’t hear you. There was something cute and innocent about his ignorance, the way his lips formed a subtle pout unintentionally, nose wrinkling in distaste. You mentally shook the image from your head, cursing yourself for thinking he was… ‘cute’ to begin with. 

“Nothing, My Liege, nothing at all,” mocking sarcasm spilled from your lips as you parted them to give them a disapproving smack. “This is complete shit; we can’t submit this.”

Hyunjin slammed his laptop closed, standing up abruptly. The action took you by surprise, making your neck shudder in a startle. “I can’t fucking do this anymore. Why do you have to be so fucking difficult?” Pent up rage was slathered all over his face, eyes twitching, eyebrows tightly knitting together, jaw unhinging from an excess of epinephrine. 

His anger diffused to you, violently charging your nerves. There was no way you were just gonna take his shit sitting down. “Why do you,” you stood up, chair rocking back from the velocity of your limbs, “have to be,” you turned around and gripped his collar with both hands, “such an insufferable asshole?” 

He was dumbfounded, wordless much to your satisfaction, but his eyes were unwavering, devoid of reaction. The time you spent stabbing each other with your unfaltering gazes felt like a goddamn eternity, tension coarse, sinfully tangible on your skin. 

It was fucking stifling. 

Before you even realized what was happening, your lips were latched together in a fervent frenzy, tension thickening for an entirely different reason now. 

There was something so breathtaking about the way his lips tightened against yours - literally. It felt like he was siphoning your soul from your body - any thought that dared to grace your mind oddly dissolved into nothingness as Hyunjin molded your lips into submission, tongue colonizing your oral cavity in an authoritative manner that was so in character for him. 

Not that you gave a fuck. 

His hands aggressively tugged at your waist; the impact of your body crashing onto his sent pangs up your spine, and in seconds, your back thudded against the wall, maintaining the momentum. You had to grip his shoulders purely for support, and definitely not because you were immersing in the moment.

You felt his grip loosen as his hands roamed downward, playfully drawing patterns on your skin with his fingers en route. And then they constricted around your thighs, lifting them up to his hips, and you hooked your ankles around his back as if it was the natural thing to do. 

The fabric of his pants became taut around the building frustration underneath, becoming oh so apparent to you when he started steady grinding against the thin fabric of your underwear - why did you have to wear a skirt today of all days?

You passed a reluctant whimper through his lips, wholly unable to deny the way your pulsing desire radiated heat through your core at the increasing friction. 

You broke away from the kiss, gasping. “Hyunjin…” you whispered almost breathlessly, desperation filling you as he continued his tantalizing test of your patience. 

“Hmmm?” There it was: that signature smug grin, but by this point, your senses were too preoccupied to even register it. 

“I can’t take this anymore.”

“Is that so?” He lifted you off the wall, pushing your laptops to either side so he could lay you on the table, spreading your legs to give him clear sight of your dampening sex. He snickered. “You look much better like this…” While ghosting one hand around your inner thighs, conveniently avoiding the place you needed him the most, he undid the button and zipper of his jeans with the other, sliding them down to his knees. 

You found yourself licking your lips at the silhouette of his bulge, now more prominent with less restricting fabric. Of course, he noticed; “so these are you true colors… I never would’ve thought you were such a dirty girl.” He brushed his fingers over the waistband of your underwear. “Where do you need me?” He pressed his thumb on your clit, “here?” 

Your teeth pressed down on your lips in an effort to stifle a moan. “Yes…” and even though you were successful the first time, there was no stopping the sounds from seeping through your lips when Hyunjin slammed his clothed erection on you once more, picking up exactly where he left off just moments ago. 

“Please, Hyunjin…” he pushed your thighs further apart, keeping them in place. 

“‘Please,’ what?” 

“I need you inside me, please.” 

His sinister laugh filled the small room. “I don’t know if you deserve it.” 

“Fucking asswipe.” 

“Now that doesn’t sound very convincing…” 

You groaned in pleasurable displeasure. “Hyunjin… please, I’m begging you. I really can’t take this.” 

“Don’t you care if someone tries to come in?” He raised an eyebrow, partially in curiosity, mostly in amusement. 

You glared right into his eyes. “No.” 

He shook his head, clicking his tongue as he stood back. “Get up.” Any urge you had to defy him before was long gone; you did as he asked and he harshly turned you around by your waist, pushing you toward one of the windows. 

While pushing you down against the glass with one hand, he reached in his front pocket with the other, grabbing a condom. He ripped the packaging with his teeth, skillfully sliding his boxers down to slip the vinyl over him. 

Not wanting to wait any longer, you aided him by pulling your panty down leaving yourself completely exposed for his taking, and you quickly pushed your hands on the glass, bracing yourself for the next few seconds, but nothing could’ve prepared you for that stretch that came. Your wrist slid down on the window pane to bite back a scream. 

“So tight.” 

 ><><><><><><><

A/N I’mma be honest: I had a fucking field day coming up with all those weird insults

[tyremarbles]

and here i said “nothing would top baku.” and then hungary happened. i said “damn, nothing is gonna top hungary. that was wild.” and now here we are, with (bar none thus far) the most insane race day i have ever had the privilege to watch.

it was all so strange and chaotic, but y’know what? when all is said and done, i’m glad we got the coverage we did. not from any kind of racing perspective, obviously, but just simply because it felt so… connected. the teams and commentators knew just as much as we did during the red flag! and since there wasn’t anything else they could do, they took the open time to all sit back and find ways to entertain themselves, be it by playing cards, doing the macarena, playing virtual chess, taking a nap, getting the crowd to do the wave, or playing football in the back of the garage.

it all felt so…. overwhelmingly human.

interactions between the drivers and their teams, and between other drivers and teams, isn’t something we as fans get to see very often, and i suspect it’s something that doesn’t really happen often during the downtime between track sessions on race weekends. they have their own cars to be worried about then. for us to have a window into what i dare to call the simple domesticity of garage downtime is something that feels special.

these are people we rarely ever see the faces of, or much less see them at all outside of pit stops or working on the car, and to suddenly see them relaxing and talking and laughing and just simply being is such a massive reminder that we and they are one & the same. we’re all human beings, all in the same situation, all waiting for & wondering about the outcome of a race in a sport we all love and enjoy.

and after a certain point, there’s only so much wondering you can do. so what happens then? you find ways to make the wait less boring!

-you go visit your friends on other teams and pit walls, since it’s not like anyone is going to tell you no.

-you find a way to play a fireplace video on one of the screens to make the cold, wet weather outside the garage feel more tolerable.

-you go find ways to keep the crowd in the grandstands entertained, since you know that they’re here in the same spot you are, except they paid for something they aren’t getting.

an ever-extending red flag was something that no one was prepared to see this weekend, at least not under such…. calm circumstances. the anxiety and fear surrounding the words “red flag; session stopped” was only going to be heightened drastically this weekend due to the sinister record of eau rouge, no matter the track conditions. and when we all woke up this sunday morning with the knowledge of how close Q3 was to both horrifying disaster and outstanding record-firsts (for the same driver, might i add), the feeling of overwhelming dread that was rippling through our little bubble of tumblr was something we could see mirrored clearly from the teams and drivers. that alone provided a sense of comfort; the knowledge that those who were currently experiencing the conditions we were seeing had the same thoughts on the matter. it’s simply too dangerous.

hearing that the session had been red flagged following the safety car formation lap was even more of a relief for those of us concerned with the safety of the drivers. and as the rain delays dragged on, i know i’m not the first to say how my own feelings of fear and dread slowly subsided with each camera shot of drivers and teams safe and dry, out of the rain and away from the car.

for once, f1blr could relax and enjoy themselves. we took delight in capturing every wonderful & humorous moment we could, from dan capturing michael in a headlock just because he knew the cameras were on them, to that poor redbull engineer nearly falling on his ass in his rush to grab parts for checo’s car. as long as everyone was safe, there was nothing more we really could’ve asked for. i feel like our teams held the same sentiment.

while there are many, many things to be said about how the race was handled, how the points were awarded, how penalties were given and served, that’s not what this post is for. the thing i’m taking out of this weekend, the thing that has stuck to my brain all day, is the welcome reminder of just how good this sport truly is. how many individual human beings have found a true love and passion for this and made careers and lives out of it, and how many others are on their way to doing the same. how, when given a situation like today, we all decided to make best of it. the fans out on the track sides dancing in the rain, the engineers & team members bonding in a way they may never have had the chance to, all of us on social media cracking jokes about the true absurdity that has been the 2021 belgian grand prix. it’s wonderful. in my mind, while there were so many better ways to have started back from summer break (so many…), i think i’m genuinely glad this is how it went. everyone safe & sound and enjoying the cautious optimism of an ungodly long red flag.

[nanagoswife]

Please, Don’t Go. - Chapter 5

Summary: Qui-Gon comes back with bad news.

W/C: 2.9k

Warnings: mention of blood, mention of mass murder, loss, angst

A kiss being pressed to the top of your head brought you out of your slumber. The comfort of his arms was still around you.

In a sleepy haze, you leaned closer into his body. You heard him lightly chuckle as he rubbed your arm as you slowly were brought back into the waking world.

“Darling,” Obi-Wan said as he pressed another kiss to your head, “we should head inside. Qui-Gon will probably be back soon.”

With a slightly annoyed grumble, you sat up and finally opened your eyes. Thankfully, it wasn’t bright enough to hurt your eyes too badly.

“Do we have to,” you whined and shifted further into Obi-Wan’s side. This earned a chuckle from him as he gave a gentle squeeze and placed a kiss to your temple. His warmth contrasted the cool breeze of the morning.

Then he nodded, “I’m afraid so.”

Grumbling, you finally separated yourself from his embrace. That’s when you noticed the stiffness from sleeping the way you did. Besides that, you shivered from the cool air hitting the warmest parts of your body.

Obi-Wan got up first and offered a hand to help you stand. As you did, you slightly stumbled but he caught you, pulling your body to his to steady you.

“Alright?” he asked in a concerned tone. If it weren’t for his teasing smile, you’d think that he really was worried.

Playfully you pushed him away by his chest and made your way to the ship’s ramp while you laughed. He jogged to catch up to you with his own laugh.

The two of you were about to head up the ramp until you heard something rustle in the bushes behind you. Without hesitation, Obi-Wan pushed you behind him, blocking you with himself like a human shield. His hand hovered over his lightsaber, ready for whatever the threat could be.

After a moment, you saw Obi-Wan relax and it confused you. After straightening back up, he turned to you.

“Qui-Gon,” he told you, seeing your confusion. You immediately relaxed. Until that moment, you never noticed how scared you would be if an actual threat revealed itself. Well, if you were honest, the thrill of a good chase would be enjoyable too.

Soon after, Qui-Gon emerged from the bushes. When you locked eyes with Qui-Gon, his usual positive gaze was gone. There was a forced optimism in his eyes but you easily saw through it.

“Princess, padawan,” he greeted as he made it in front of the two of you.

“What’s the news, Master?” Obi-Wan said, trying to sound more light-hearted about it. You knew he didn’t only see Qui-Gon’s uneasiness, but could feel it, unlike you.

At first, Qui-Gon was going to say something about it right away. He thought better of it. “We should probably step inside. Everyone should be comfortable when I say this.”

Obi-Wan and you share a confused glance before nodding and finally making your way up the ramp.

All of you decided on settling in the cockpit. It’s the only area that could be anywhere close to be considered a sitting area. There’s a thick air surrounding everything right now. For you, anticipation filled you as you desperately wanted to know what was happening.

Looking across from you, Obi-Wan was desperate to know as well, but he had the force. He knew what nature of the news held. It scared you as he was wearing a worried frown.

Taking a deep breath, Qui-Gon finally spoke, “I have good news and bad news. What would you like to hear first, princess?”

For a moment, you were going to say the good news first. After years of being in your position, though, you learned to never start with good news. Especially if the bad news is worse than you originally anticipated.

“May as well start with the worst of it.” You tried desperately to keep your voice calm, not letting your running emotions show.

“Y/N,” Qui-Gon addressed you by your first name for what felt like the first time. This is when you knew this really wasn’t going to be good. “Captain Baize has gone missing,” he said in a lower tone.

You knew it was to try and show how he wanted to support you, but it didn’t matter. It felt like your heart had stopped.

“With the circumstances, they assume the worst. There’s a high probability that he has passed.”

“There’s still a chance that he’s alive though,” Obi-Wan cut in. He could feel the overwhelming pain that was flowing through you. It hit him with such a ferocity that it wrenched his heart almost like your pain was his. Something in him desperately wanted you to hang on to hope instead of thinking the worst.

Almost as if he picked up on Obi-Wan’s sentiment, Qui-Gon nodded. He was eternally grateful that his padawan was so in tune with other people’s emotions. Since Qui-Gon could only go off of studying people on the outside, there were many times he missed things. Now was one of those times, other than the fact that you and Obi-Wan were closer as well.

Even though you appreciated the sentiment, it did little to ease the pain. Not only were you grieving the fact that you may have lost a friend, but Kenth was more than a friend. A second dad, another brother, your protector and number one fan and supporter. What was life going to be like without him? What was it going to be like without feeling his embrace or not having him with you to accompany you on your whims?

“What’s the good news?” You said this so quietly that the other two probably hardly heard you. If you spoke any louder, you would break and you wanted to stay composed until you could be in the safety of your room.

“The conflict is being brought down by your brother.”

“At what cost?” Your immediate response almost stunned Qui-Gon. He wasn’t expecting you to jump this quickly to this topic.

Although he, even Obi-Wan, wasn’t expecting it, you were mainly referring to Kenth Baize. If he was lost, who else has been sacrificed to bring down the conflict. Who else needed to die just so that the killing would stop altogether. It was almost like your whole life has been surrounded with death and hurt.

Sure, some of it was more entertaining and made into a sort of game because it was you, but this wasn’t you. These were the people that you loved and cared about more than you did yourself. They were your people one way or another. Whether you would have to take the throne or follow your dream to be in the senate.

“I… don’t know, your highness,” Qui-Gon said as he looked to the ground. It almost seemed like he was chiding himself for not realizing what effect this had on you.

“I-If that’s all,” you started with a shaky breath. To try and compose yourself a bit more, you took a deep breath before continuing, “I would like to go to my room.” You couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact with either of the Jedi. You knew, especially when it came to Obi-Wan, that you wouldn’t be able to keep yourself together if you did.

Even though you asked, you didn’t wait to hear an answer. Quickly, you got up and made your way to your small, but cozy space. There, you would have privacy to let it out.

-

Obi-Wan waited a little bit before he went to check on you. He knew that you were needing time alone. There was something that told him silently that you would need him, just not right away. You needed to have time to put everything together alone before you had any other thoughts introduced.

As he stood at your door, he could feel your turmoil. There were so many emotions that were mingling together. Like always, there was one more prominent one. This time, it wasn’t fear. It wasn’t necessarily sadness, it was sadness but in a different name.

Grief. Grief was the exact feeling that overwhelmed everything else. Then suddenly, he was barreled over by the force of something before he started seeing visions. No, not visions, but memories. Your memories. Your memories with Captain Kenth Baize. Memories that spanned from when you were a small child, to ones that had happened not so long ago.

Obi-Wan has never been through something like this. Not even when training with fellow Jedi to learn how to navigate an unshielded mind, being let in. In a way, he guessed you probably wanted him to see this whether it was your conscious intentions or not. Or, maybe, it was the force. There were so many possibilities that he was going through until your door opened.

You stood in the doorway, eyes red and puffy but showing one thing. You knew that he was there. Not only did you let him see what was troubling you, but the connection he had to you through the force only amplified it and made it even more real.

“Hi,” you said quietly, sniffling and trying to wipe your face dry without success.

“How did you know I was here?”

“I don’t know. I just… did,” you replied.

Slowly, he nodded. This was all strange, but the force worked in strange ways. It was a Jedi’s job to be a servant of that, not question it.

“Will you come in?” you asked, voice louder and the most hopeful he’s heard it since about half an hour ago.

Without much hesitation, he nodded. He knew exactly what he was going to do after that door closed. When it did, he quickly pulled you into his embrace. You gasped in surprise but quickly melted into his arms. The tears that you had managed to stop came back and started to dampen a spot on Obi-Wan’s tunic. He didn’t mind. He would never mind as long as it brought comfort to you.

After a moment, you pulled him in closer by gripping his tabards. He held you by your back and one hand on the back of your head, like he was shielding you.

Once you started to calm once again, you didn’t dare part from Obi-Wan’s arms. This was the only comfort that you could actually cling to anymore. Everyone was gone and in such a short amount of time. Sure, Davin was still alive, but you couldn’t be sure it would stay like that. You weren’t even sure how safe you would be, even though no one has even threatened you since the day you met Obi-Wan. Since the day the losses started.

“Will you stay with me,” you say against his chest. “At least for a little bit.” You were sure your voice was bordering on begging, but you didn’t care.

He didn’t either as he easily agreed. The need to comfort you has been nagging at him this whole time. It was even there the day he met you with blood, scrapes and bruises covering many surfaces. It had been a wonder that you didn’t have a broken bone or even a concussion.

Still, that was nowhere close to the kind of pain you were in now. Physical pain was easier to gain a tolerance for when you’re constantly exposed. Emotional pain, not so much.

“Would you like to talk about it? Or would you rather us just get a bit more comfortable?” he said gently. He wanted to make you feel more comforted and feel you release more tension rather than gaining more.

Also, he was hoping that you would want to get comfortable one way or another. There was something that was urging a sense of wanting to lie with you in the decently sized bed that would accommodate the two of you nicely.

Almost like you sensed this, you hardly pulled away and pulled him with you to the comforts of the mattress. Sure, it wasn’t the softest, but it was much better than the ground and boulder you were up against the night before.

Obi-Wan let you get comfortable before he joined you, taking off his boots and placing them neatly at the end of the bed. He joined you under the blanket and was turned to face you. A hair had fallen into your face and he carefully brushed it behind your ear so that he could properly see your eyes.

He suddenly felt slightly awkward as he did this. A life as a Jedi never prepared one for moments like this. Was there something he was supposed to do? How can he comfort you?

Little did he know, this is all you needed. Just his mere presence was comforting for you. The two of you just looked into the other’s eyes until you made a decision. You wanted to tell him, but you didn’t know how.

“Obi,” you started softly, “I really do want to talk about this. I… just don’t know how to put it into words. For the first time in my life I can’t think of a single thing to say.”

“If it will make you feel better, I know a way that you can tell me without a single word.”

Shock filled you initially until you remembered who you were with. He hasn’t been training as a Jedi for nothing.

Placing a hand to your cheek, he gave you a comforting smile. “Only if you want to. If at any point you don’t want me in your mind anymore, then you can shut me back out. I only want you to feel better.”

The look he had was genuine. He was concerned that, if you didn’t at least tell someone, it would only make it worse. Obi-Wan was giving you an opportunity to let it go and lessen the weight of all that has happened.

“Okay,” you whispered as you nodded. “What do I do?”

“Just relax. Let yourself give permission for me to see. I promise I won’t look for anything else besides for this moment. I promise.”

Nodding again, he then moved his hand so that it was resting on your temple. Closing your eyes, you focused on the sound of his breath and the gentle warmth his hand brought you. Then, you felt as a force entered your mind. You felt Obi-Wan.

His presence in your head was comforting and kind.

“Good,” he said quietly, so as to not startle you. “Now, this way you can show me without any words.”

“I won’t hurt you?”

“No. I’ll feel exactly what you feel, but it will only be temporary.” Opening your eyes, you saw that Obi-Wan’s were closed. You assumed it was for concentration; to ‘see’ better.

Carefully, you nodded against his palm. Then, you showed him everything.

First, it was the memories that he had first seen before he had joined you in here. Although they were all happy moments, a sadness now hung over them that shouldn’t have to be there.

This went on until more started to show. You started showing images of your brother being assassinated, your people being massacred, your world on fire. There was so much fear being projected through these images. It was almost like it was real. That just showed how powerful your imagination was.

Concentrating further, he could now hear screams, feel the pain, feel the death.

Then, the two of you were suddenly no longer on your world. No, you were on another that he couldn’t quite place. Not only that, it was no longer him seeing from your perspective. He was standing right beside you, Qui-Gon on the other side. There was a distant sound of blaster fire behind you and a shadowy figure stood in front of the three of you. Fear was still evident, but it wasn’t necessarily from you, but from in front. It was mingling with hate and anger.

Before anything else happened, both of you were ripped from the sudden moment. Obi-Wan knew it wasn’t you who shut him out. You were radiating the same confusion he was.

“What was that?” You asked in a slight panic.

“I don’t know.” He had never gotten a vision while connecting with another. “I know it was a vision, but I’ve never heard of one happening like that.”

For a moment, you both laid in silence, still facing the other. Neither of you looked into the other’s eyes.

“Thank you,” you said after a bit. “All things considered, that did make me feel better.”

Obi-Wan smiled and brought his hand back to your cheek. “Of course,” he said before dragging his thoughts back to how he should deal with what happened. “I should tell Qui-Gon,” he started to get up, “I’ll say I was medi-“

He was cut off by you grabbing his sleeve and keeping him from moving further, “Please, don’t go yet.”

A smile passed by his lips and he moved back down to you. Instead of staying separated, you curled up into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Just a little longer,” you said muffled as you spoke into his chest.

“Of course, darling.”

@stardancerluv @where-fantasy-meets-reality @jaydenwoo @madmax2003 @hopeladybug

[littleredwolf]

Confessions

Pairing: Tony Stark x reader

Summary: Defeating the galaxy’s biggest foe and being brought to the brink of death causes Tony to get a little sentimental. 

Warnings: Endgame spoilers. 

Word Count: 1,969

A/N: I hope you enjoy some Tony fluff. ^^

----------

You chewed your lip as you glanced at the clock for what felt like the millionth time, the knot in your stomach twisting tighter with each second that passed. You turned your attention to the door opposite, your leg bouncing erratically as you resisted the urge to jump out of your seat and charge through it in your impatience. You hardly dared to think about what was going on on the other side, all manner of scenarios rushing through your head. 

What was taking so long? Had something gone wrong? 

That last thought alone caused your breath to catch in your throat and you hastily got up and walked to the nearby water cooler, busying yourself by filling a plastic cup and gulping down the lukewarm liquid. It wasn't the most refreshing experience, but it eased the lump in your throat. When the sound of the door handle turning filled your ears you whipped around to face it, eyes wide as a doctor and nurse emerged. You looked at them expectantly, waiting for them to break the news. You hoped it was good news. 

"Everything is fine," the doctor assured with a polite smile. "He's going to need a little rehabilitation and there's a few things to keep a careful eye on, but he's going to be okay." 

The sigh of relief you breathed could have knocked them both off their feet, as all the anxiety and uneasiness that had been building up over the last 12 hours fizzled and ebbed away. 

"Can I see him?" You asked hopefully, chewing your lip again as you nervously awaited a reply. 

The doctor and nurse shared a knowing look, before the doctor gave you a sympathetic smile. 

"You can see him," he nodded, "but please keep in mind what he's been through. He's going to be okay but he is in pretty bad shape - just keep that in mind and try not to be too alarmed when you see him." 

You nodded in understanding, a new wave of anxiety rolling over you as you placed a hand on the door handle. After what seemed like an eternity you were finally going to see him. So many hours of waiting with nothing to do but replay the last time you saw him over and over and over again - it had driven you almost mad. Now, you were allowed to see him, and it all felt so surreal. 

Taking a deep breath, you swallowed your nerves and stepped inside. 

-

The rhythmic humming and beeping of machines filled the otherwise silent room, and as you laid your eyes upon the figure on the bed you felt a wave of emotions overwhelm you. Relief, shock, worry, guilt, happiness, sadness, all swirling around like a chemical cocktail. You stepped forward with legs that felt like lead and stopped at the end of the bed, resting a hand on the frame and just looking at him. Taking him all in. 

Tony Stark, the symbol of strength and durability, lay bruised and broken before you, tucked beneath a crisp white hospital blanket. A multitude of wires snaked out from beneath the cover, attached to various machines that monitored who knew what - all that mattered was that they were keeping him stable. The beeping of the heart monitor was like a symphony to your ears, reassuring you that he was okay, he was alive. After everything that had happened, Tony Stark was alive. 

A single tear rolled down your cheek as the weight of the situation hit you. It could so easily have gone the other way. Using the gauntlet against Thanos should have killed him, the power in the stones more than any human could endure, yet somehow, against all odds, he'd survived. For once in your life, you were grateful for his stubbornness. 

"Are you gonna stare at me this whole time or are you actually gonna say something?" Tony's voice cut through the silence, weak but still filled with his usual sarcasm, and you jumped at the sudden sound, blushing in embarrassment for getting caught staring. You quickly wiped the tears from your eyes and came closer to sit beside him. 

"I thought you were asleep," you said softly, voice threatening to break. 

"That's even creepier," he remarked, and you couldn't help but roll your eyes with a smirk. 

"Nice to see you still have your crappy sense of humour," you teased, causing him to pout. 

"Hey, you're supposed to be nice to me, I almost died." 

"Really? You're playing that card already?" It was surprising how easy it was to fall back into your old habit of swapping banter - it made the current situation a lot easier to deal with, which you suspected was exactly why Tony was doing it. The serious talk would come later, when he was ready, but for now you were happy to lean on humour as a coping mechanism. 

"Just tell me, how's the face? Because that's the real money maker."

You took the opportunity to really look at him, heart sinking as your eyes trailed over every bruise and cut and scar - reminders of what he'd been through. He looked a mess, but it was a relief to see that the impish glint was still in his eyes. 

"Well, you're not gonna get any calls from Vogue anytime soon, but it'll do," you shrugged, unable to stifle a giggle. 

"Ouch!" He gasped, holding a hand to his heart. 

A heavy silence followed and you found yourself struggling for what to say next. When Tony’s hand touched yours you looked up to meet his eye. 

"I'm okay," he reassured, squeezing your hand. "I'm okay." 

You shared a smile as your eyes filled with more tears, and you finally allowed the emotions you’d been holding back to break through. 

"I was so scared," you breathed, inching closer and gripping his hand tighter. "I thought we'd lost you." 

It seemed wrong that he was the one who'd almost died yet you were the one sitting there crying, but now that you'd started you couldn't stop, as sobs ripped through you and the tears just kept coming. Tony did his best to comfort you, rubbing circles into the palm of the hand he was still holding and encouraging you to let it all out. He'd been through hell, but he could only imagine what it must have been like for his friends to witness it all unfold. 

"You could've just said if I looked that bad, you know." 

"Shut up," you giggled through your tears, taking a series of breaths to help calm down. 

"You know, there's something I realised while I was busy thinking I was dead…”

"Yeah? What's that?" 

"We may be a bunch of superheroes with fancy technology and the best gadgets money can buy, but it only takes one crazy guy, high on power, to bring it all crashing down." 

"I'd really rather not think about that just yet." 

"Sorry, it's just...I nearly died, and of all the things in my life I've messed up or regretted, not getting this off of my chest would have been my biggest mistake." 

You raised an inquisitive eyebrow, sitting straighter in your chair in preparation for what he had to say. 

"When I thought it was over and was heading towards the light - yeah, it's real - I didn't see God or St Peter or any other bearded guy waiting for me...I saw you," 

"What?" 

He nodded, "I was done, Y/N. I was ready to die. I knew all along that's how it was going to end, and I'd accepted that. I was sick of fighting, just delaying the inevitable. I was ready to go, but then, right at the end, I saw you, and I remembered why I'd been fighting so hard in the first place." 

You weren’t entirely sure where this was going, but your heart beat just that little bit faster in anticipation anyway. 

It was no lie that you’d harboured feelings for Tony over the years, but you'd never once expected that he might actually feel the same. It was much easier to bury it away than admit how you felt about someone with his reputation. 

"I couldn't leave without telling you how I really felt. Because it's you, Y/N, it's always been you - you've set me straight when I've lost my way, you've pulled me back from the edge more times than I can count. You've stopped me getting carried away, going overboard. You've always been there making sure I stayed on the right path, and I guess I wasn't ready to admit it before but, I kinda liked the thought of you having my back. I guess nearly dying puts things into perspective, but I just know that I couldn't leave without telling you how I really feel." 

You stared, dumbfounded, as he babbled on. "Tony, what are you trying to say?" 

At this point you were pretty sure your heart had stopped beating altogether, that familiar knot of anxiety twisting in your chest again. He took a deep breath as he carefully contemplated his next words.

"I love you, Y/N. I've loved you for a long time, but I never wanted to admit it because I knew that if I did it would mean it was real. I've spent so many years building this persona, wrapping myself up in a safety blanket and hiding away from my emotions. I didn’t want to just lay everything out for the world to see and make myself vulnerable." 

"But. You're Tony Stark." 

"I'm aware of that, yes."

"You're one of the biggest names in the world. You're important. I'm just a nobody."

"You're not a nobody, Y/N. Not to me."

Tears filled your eyes again but this time for a completely different reason. You couldn't deny that you hadn't thought about this moment from time to time, imagining how it might feel if he were to feel the same, but now that he was actually confessing it, it didn't feel real. 

"It's always been you," he repeated, cupping a hand to your cheek and swiping a tear away with his thumb. 

"Oh, Tony," you whimpered, leaning into his touch and closing your eyes. It felt so good to feel his warm palm against your skin, as though his hands had been made just to hold you. When he moved to tilt your chin up you opened your eyes, finding him already looking at you with an affectionate smile. 

"Does this mean it's okay to kiss you?" He asked, though he was sure he already knew the answer. Without another word, you leaned forward and closed the gap between you, pressing the most gentle of kisses to his lips in fear of hurting him. He hummed in content and ran his free hand through your hair, holding you close for just a little longer. 

When you parted, Tony rested his forehead against yours, the two of you closing your eyes and relishing this quiet moment between you. You weren’t sure when you’d get another, knowing the others would be here soon now that he was awake.   

"You're not just saying you love me so that I smuggle you in some cheeseburgers are you?" You asked after a while, pulling away to look at him with a raised eyebrow. 

"No, but is that a request I can make?"

"Well, I don’t want to get caught,” you thought aloud, tapping a finger on your chin for added effect. “But I can get Happy to pick some up for you. That way my hands stay clean.” 

Tony grinned, the mischief in his eyes mirroring yours.

"That genius thinking is just one of the many reasons why I love you," he grinned, pulling you closer for another chaste kiss. 

[thebadgerclan]

SFW Alphabet: Remus Lupin

Requested by Anonymous

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Remus is very affectionate, part of it’s just his cuddly personality, part of it’s because Moony loves to show his mate that he loves her.  He shows his affection mostly through physical touch: holding your hand, having an arm around you, holding you in his lap on the couch, kissing your forehead, brushing his hand against yours in public.  He doesn’t shy away from PDA either, if he wants to kiss you, he’s gonna kiss you, not giving a shit who’s around.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) Remus would be a very supportive friend, always there when you need to talk, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, he’s there.  The friendship started after Lily introduced you to the Marauders, and while Remus was a little reluctant to let someone new into his life, when he sees that you don’t care or judge him for his lycanthropy, he latches onto you.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Remus loves to cuddle, after a long, stressful day, the only thing he wants to do is hold you or be held by you.  He’s the big spoon I’d say 95% of the time, it’s just more comfortable (David Thewlis is 6’3), he prefers holding you, and Moony likes to feel like he’s protecting his mate.  When he’s the big spoon, Remus either lays on his back with you tucked into his side, arm tight around you, hand carding through your hair, the other hand stroking your side or is on his side with you pressed against him, either facing him or with your back to his chest..  The other 5% of the time, when Remus is the little spoon, he likes to be on his side, face buried in your chest, arms folded against him and sort of sandwiched between the two of you.  He likes this because it makes him feel safa and makes Moony feel that his mate is near and will protect him

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Oh yeah, Remus wants to settle down with you.  With you, he has a partner that he can rely on, that he loves more than anything in the entire world.  Remys has lived alone for most of his life, so he knows how to keep a house clean and cook for himself.  When the two of you get a house or apartment together, you split the household chores evenly, but Remus does prefer to cook, it’s something he enjoys and he likes providing for you

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) It would be because of his lycanthropy, he’d break up with you to keep you safe.  Remus would try and let you down gently, but of course, it shatters your heart when he breaks things off, but part of you understands why he wants to, even if you don’t agree with it.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) He’s a little skittish about commitment, thinking you’ll leave him, be disgusted by his condition, but once he realizes that you’re not going to leave him, that you don’t care about his lycanthropy, Remus is so committed to you (he always has been, but he’s even more committed now).  He wants to get married to you as soon as he knows you’re truly committed, he goes out and gets a ring for you and proposes as soon as he knows you’re ready

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) Remus is very gentle, both emotionally and physically.  Emotionally, he’s such a softie, he never hides what he’s feeling from you, if he’s sad, you know it, if he’s angry, you know it.  It takes him a while to be that open with you, but when he gets there, there are no secrets between the two of you.  Physically, Remus treats you like a piece of glass (and I mean that in a good way), he holds you so tenderly, like you’re something precious, to be treated with reverence and tenderness, which to Remus, you are. I think it goes without saying, but Remus will NEVER hurt you, never raise a hand to you, you’re his everything, he would never do that.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Remus loves hugs, he’s a very huggy person, not just with his S/O.  He hugs you very frequently, at least 5-6 times a day.  His hugs are warm and soft, wrapping you in his arms feels like safety, and you can feel the love pouring off him when he hugs you.  They last for up to 30 seconds at a time, and he kisses your forehead when he pulls away.

  I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) I’d say Remus tells you he loves you after a month or so.  He’s known that he’s in love with you after a week, but he wants to be sure that you’re serious about the relationship.  And when he does tell you he loves you, you know he means it, you know he’s serious, and you know that he’s in love

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Moony drives his jealousness, he doesn’t like anyone getting too close to his mate, doesn’t like it when you’re too far from him, things like that.  Remus is level headed, he’s logical, so he knows that you’re not going to leave him, and he can control Moony to a certain extent, but he comes out sometimes.  When he does, Remus will snarl at whoever’s near you, snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you close.  He’ll kiss you: either on the lips, hard and passionate, or on your temple, and whisper “Mine.”

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Remus likes to kiss your forehead or the crown of your head, your cheeks, nose, hands, wrist, arms, legs, everywhere.  And of course, your lips.  Remus likes to be kissed on the lips, on his cheeks, and his scars.  He might cry when you kiss his scars, just wipe his tears away.  His kisses are tender and sweet, love pouring off him in waves.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) Remus is really good with kids, he loves them, and he does want to be a father, but he’s hesitant because of his lycanthropy.  When he’s around babies, he melts, cooing at them and cradling them close to his chest

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Remus gets up around 9 o’clock, and if you’re still home/asleep when he gets up, he’ll make you a cup of coffee/tea/whatever you like, and he’ll sit with you, usually with an arm around you, on the couch.  He loves the mornings; the quiet time before you’re dressed and still a little sleepy where he can just be with you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Remus likes to hold you in the evenings: having you on his lap, arms around you, he just wants to be close to you.  Nights and evenings are usually spent talking about your day, reading, or just being with each other.  (And of course, there’s a fair amount of sex too ;D)

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) I wanna say that after a few weeks, Remus will slowly start opening up to you.  He doesn’t want to overwhelm you, and there are things he’s a little hesitant to tell you.  But he gets there, feeling secure enough to tell you everything.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) He has a bit of a temper, but it takes a lot to really piss him off.  With you, he’s endlessly patient, very few things that you do make him mad.  With others, he’s still very patient, but he does snap sometimes, especially close to the full

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) Remus remembers a lot, but he tends to forget some littler things.  But the bigger things, he remembers: like your favorite meals, favorite books, etc.  There are some little things that he’ll randomly remember, like the earrings you wore on a date

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) After a particularly bad full, Remus had staggered into the house, and you were nowhere to be found.  He was sad, but he cleaned himself up as best he could.  A few minutes later, you returned, a bag on your arm.  “We were out of chocolate,” you explained, sitting on the floor where Remus was sitting and pulling a bar of chocolate from the bag.  “I convinced them to let me in, they weren’t happy, being woken up at 2 AM, but I got it.”  The fact that you went to Hogsmeade to get him chocolate overwhelmed him with love for you, and it made you love him even more

. S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Moony takes Remus’ existing protectiveness and increases it 10 fold.  Moony wants to protect you, his mate, more than anything in the world.  If anything could potentially hurt you, Remus is tense, watching everything around you to make sure you’re safe.  He’ll keep you close, an arm around you, your hand in his.  Above all, he needs to know you’re safe.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Remus can’t really afford to take you out as much as he wants to, but when he can, he goes all out.  It’s not a 5 star restaurant, but Remus makes you feel like royalty.  When he can’t afford to take you out, he’ll cook you a romantic dinner and serve it to you.  The same applies to gifts and anniversaries: he doesn’t have much money, but what he can afford, it’s the sentiment behind it that counts

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) His self consciousness concerning his lycanthropy.  He thinks he’s dangerous, a monster, someone undeserving of love.  It takes you a while for you to break him of this habit, and he still slips and tells you you should leave him, but you’re (obviously) not having it

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Not really.  Like Sev, he keeps himself clean and tidy, but you love him for him, and in his mind, his scarred face is enough for you, so it’s enough for him W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Yes, absolutely,  once Remus felt how loved you made him feel, the thought of not having you in his life is unimaginable.  It causes him physical pain, and he can’t think about it for more than a minute at a time.  Luckily, you have no plans of leaving him (please don’t leave him)

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) With the Wolfsbane potion, Remus can just curl up and sleep during the full, so one time, he was on top of you in bed, curled up in a ball, fast asleep.  Moony whined when you tried to get up, not getting off of you

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) Remus can’t be with someone who won’t validate his feelings.  He knows he can be irrational sometimes, but if a partner just brushes his feelings off, he just feels worse.  He needs someone who can talk out his feelings and help him through the rough patches

  Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Remus will not be able to sleep if he doesn’t fluff his pillow.  It sounds funny, but if he doesn’t do it, he won’t be comfortable.  It’s mostly psychological, but he has to do it.

[henlex]

Disclaimer: I accidentally fell in love with gye so just bare with me🙏 I didnt plan for that

Another underrated pair for @bonknanab 💖💕💖💕💖

Gyechan

First thoughts holy shit all the earth. But gye cancer venus MY HEART this boy is so soft bye. A whole marshmallow. Also the amount of taurus too, this boy LOVES cuddling. But so does minchie cuz virgo AND leo = cuddles sooooo. Leo moon. Makes sense.

Suns

Gye: taurus. Earth, really steady and strong, very consistent/ dependable. They rely on their senses to experience the world. Like the care a lot about how things feel, taste, smell. Catch them wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket. They can be possessive, they love their things a lot and want to protect them. But this can carry over to people too, they like to possess their loved ones, like have ownership of them. It helps them feel secure. It's just so cute oml😭 tangent: this is why kangmin feels so comfy with the and he's his favorite. He's just a kid with a ton of emotions (scorp moon) and gye is just so stable and reliable, that "I've got you I'm not going anywhere" energy that kangmin needs. I'm a sap leave me alone.  But they hardly get jealous. Can be pretty stubborn and slow moving. They dont like change and dont like changing their mind. Slow to start, especially if they're comfy, they might just lay in bed all day😂

Min: Virgo. Hardworking, love being knowledgeable about things/ learning about them. Sensitive to their surroundings. Can be shy with new people but when comfortable theyll talk forever. They love to be appreciated and useful. Prone to worry, they tend to be pretty responsible.  They love to be doing something and can get restless when they arent. Can be perfectionists because they want to do things the best they can. They're very aware of their bodies. Very curious and love to explore, great observers. They can be pretty hard on themselves 😭 They can be very proud of the way they do things. Can be big sweethearts and are always ready to help.

Moon

Gye: Taurus: ay it's me🤝 So a lot of the same as the sun, but this is the core, his emotions. These people have a super calming aura, you just kind of feel wrapped in a blanket. They love consistency and home. They put down deep roots. Can be a bit oblivious and avoid messy/ chaotic displays. Can be conservative. Deep emotions, affection, sentimental. Romantic but do like taking risks with the first move. Really good instincts. Really good sense of smell?? They really stick with things, dont run when things get hard. Once they're in, they're in for the long haul. It takes a lot to actually bother them.

Min: Leo. This is why he likes being on stage even though virgos tend to be behind the scenes types. They really love entertaining those they're close too and are often a comedian. They kind of like to control their inner circle. Strong desire to create and entertain but can be a bit lazy, possibly bossy too. They need a lot of love and attention to function😭 They can be really dramatic if they get offended but they dont like public displays, they save that for home😂 Stubborn, needs time to adjust to changes. They strive for fairness and hate following orders.

Mercury

Gye: taurus. Istg what is this man

Say it with me kids stub👏born👏

Slow moving, think through decisions. They seem lazy because of just how long it takes them to decide something😂 Slow to start things... Sensual again. Slow communication, everything is deliberate. Very practical so people take them seriously. Can be pretty sarcastic and funny. Pleasant voices. Practical in learning too, they need to have real world examples or know how it affects them.

Min: virgo😂. Likes order/ control, gets uneasy when it's not. Detail oriented. LOVE when appreciate their intellect. Very good at taking care of the day to day. They can be impatient with others because they think they do things best. Helps others by taking care of the little things.

Venus

Gye: cancer. UWU. We've got a marshmallow guys.

Ok so Sensitive in love, they like commitment and dependability. Theyll give you security, comfort and care. They show their love by caring for you. They crave safety. They watch their loved ones emotions. This is a big 180 after all the Taurus. They can be moody to get attention oml. Either this is really toned down from the taurus moon or im blind. It's hard for them to forgive/ forget if you've hurt them (same with the taurus moon so☠) They can retreat/ hide to care for themselves. God this is like taurus but extra soft😭 Ok so strong attachment to family and home. Sentimental, love snuggling😭 They need to feel secure and have a strong fear of rejection/ abandonment.

Min: virgo. Good lord. Not flirty. Tries to win someone over with devotion and showing them a ton of attention. Cautious, slowly makes his way into their heart. Sensitive and insecure in love😭 They need to know feelings are mutual before they make a move..... Can childishly tease their crush💆🏼‍♀️ But they have good intentions. They arent attracted to show offs, they like understated, unnoticed people. These people love quietly helping and doing the little things. You'll win them over if you recognize their efforts, they just want to be appreciated.

Mars

Gye: libra. Out of left field fr. Oop indecisive yet again. He's so lucky theres not a ton of fire in this group or I swear people would kill him. I'm sure dongheon and hoyoung have gotten impatient before tho cuz damn. Anyway they really like to weigh all their options. Overwhelming desire for balance. They're generally optimistic, and can be defensive. Can play innocent. Passive aggressive 💆🏼‍♀️. Very good mediators.

Can be incredibly charming. The pickiest lovers and desire equality it every aspect.

Min: leo. A strong creative energy and the feeling their life has significant meaning and purpose. Very passionate. Driven and normally have a set path. They have an air of authority and power. Lol they demand loyalty and admiration in their relationships. Can get fired up when they feel wronged or defensive. But they're really kind and driven by the heart.

Eye.

*skip for s*x mentions* do like idek how to say this. But like they want to be seen as godlike, worshipped. But they also want to worship the other person. Likes an imbalance of power. Show off. Possessive + jealous but tries to hide it. But everything is laced with love and affection.

Notes:

Gye's steadiness could really help min to calm his worry.

it's great that it takes a lot to actually annoy him cuz...we all know minchie 💕

Omfg they're both kinda lazy😂 Lazy morning cuddles let's goooo.

Ok but gye could very much be oblivious to mins need for love/ compliments etc. Cue that clip gye had to compliment min and it was short but min was like that's all?? And the was like Oh! And just kept on going. So cute. Like he has to problem expressing his affection but min literally needs to physically say how much he needs😂😂

They both hate change and surprises so🤝

Ok but minchans venus is kind of perfect for gyes cuz he needs that stability. But gye would probably be thrown at first if minchan wasnt being obvious. Theyd be really cute together but the challenge would be getting together.

Honestly they seem super soft and comfy (probably mostly behind the camera rip) earth babies but also playful and precious. As the 2 earth signs in the group (and with a ron of earth placements too) they could really find solace in each other and I think that's so sweet💕

[mysdrymmumbles]

Blisterback

Ao3 link

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 1625ish

Summary: How Theotar and Blisterback met. 

..............................................................................................................

He is a good pup.

He knows this because it is the first thing his master ever said to him, and it is a sentiment that has been repeated to him over the eons, enough so that he knows the word ‘pup’ just as well as his name, better even.

His name is for orders, but ‘pup’ is for quiet times sitting together off-duty with his master, the venthyr’s claws scratching behind his ears as he tells him how good he’s been. It is for belly rubs and extra treats, ones that are given in secret because the Fearstalker warns they will make him spoiled.

He hunts the souls that the Fearstalker sends into the woods with his master. They make them better. It has been explained to him over and over, but much of what is said is meaningless to him. What he knows is that he does good, and his master is always pleased after the hunt. He has one of the best noses in Revendreth, after all, and their prey is always caught.

He protects his master just as his master protects him, they hunt souls, and the world is right.

Until it isn’t.

There is something wrong with the souls they hunt. They do not feel right, though he has no words for it. His master does, though. He comments to the Fearstalker and the way she looks at his master makes that fear they chase bubble up inside of him instead of the souls.

For a while, that is all there is to it.

The souls are wrong, and his master is quiet, but the belly rubs are just as common, and he knows things will be alright. There have been quiet times before. The ages bring cycles, after all, and this will pass.

The Master comes. When he receives pets, they are a bit rough, but he does not wince under the Master’s hand. That would embarrass his master, and he will not do that. He is a good pup.

Tones are harsh. The Master is angry at his.

He steps between them, a warning growl that there is no need for such threatening behavior. His master sounds terrified as he insists that he is a good pup.

The Master’s hands swirl with red and the world is dark.

And then he is waking up. The face in front of him is not his master’s and he looks around, frantic.

His master was afraid.

The new face is not a friend. The owner is harsh, using leashes and tactics his master never bothered with. There are no ear scritches or belly rubs.

As soon as the new face is stupid enough to let him off his chains, he is gone.

He dares his way back to the last place he remembers seeing his master and dodges the others who try to catch him. They are quick, but he is determined. He makes it back into the woods and searches. He has the best nose and will find his master.

It is an eternity before a familiar scent pulls him out of his despair.

He wastes no time.

The scent leads him to an old gate where a biggun guards the way. After a few attempts to get past, he finally manages when the biggun is distracted with other venthyr. There are cries and tones that issue orders, but he ignores them.

The world is strange here, bright and harsh. The venthyr are wrong, blistered and crumbling, angry and scared.

He searches.

Some of the venthyr attack him, their hands red like The Master’s were. He does what he needs to in order to escape and continue the search.

When he finds his master, there is no joyful reunion. His master is a crumpled pile, still as stone. He nudges him and nudges him, but there is no response.

He has seen friends do this before, so he curls up beside him and waits. The light is cruel, and the creatures that were once venthyr watch him from the shadows.

He will protect his master, no matter how long it takes for him to wake up.

Their attacks are slow at first, measured. One crawls toward him and he bares his fangs and roars.

The creature only pauses for a moment and then retreats.

This happens more and more frequently, with more and more at a time. They edge closer and closer every time.

He should leave, but he cannot abandon his master.

When they finally attack, it is brutal. He tears and claws his way through three of them before accidentally tossing one into his master.

His master’s body falls apart and scatters.

He has seen this happen before, too, and knows what it means.

His master cannot come back now.

Rage fills him, and he tears through more of the creatures, but they are a swarm, and they conjure the red swirls that make him slower and slower.

It does not go dark.

He will not let it.

He swipes and bites, anything to avenge the one he will never see again.

As he is overwhelmed, there is more red in the air.

He waits for it to hit, to make him brittle, but it does not come.

Instead, it hits into the creatures attacking, and one by one they fall or scurry to safety.

A venthyr approaches. The creature’s shirt is tattered, but he carries something that blocks the light around him, if only a little.

He growls, does his best to snap, but he is too weak to put up a good defense.

The venthyr kneels, just far enough away to appraise him without worry that he will reach.

“Just what is a gargon doing out here, hmm?”

He growls.

“It been protectin’ that corpse,” a dredger says. It stands near the venthyr with another.

The venthyr moves toward his scattered master.

He somehow finds the strength to move, to put himself between the two. His master will not come back, but that does not mean he will not defend him from further cruelty.

The venthyr stops and waits for him to settle before offering words that mean nothing.

“We will bury him,” the venthyr declares.

He knows those words. He has seen others returned to the earth in his eons. They do not come back, but they are respected.

“We will bury him,” repeats the venthyr.

And they do.

When the pieces have been placed together, the ground covering them, the venthyr offers him his master’s belt.

He sniffs it and then lets the venthyr put it around his neck. The scent is familiar and comforts him. Red dances around the venthyr’s fingers, and he closes his eyes.

If he is to go into the dark again, he is glad to be with the one who loved him so completely.

Energy swells through him.

Opening his eyes, he finds the venthyr there, reaching out tentatively to pat his head. “You’ll be alright.”

He looks back to where his master has gone to rest and then up at the venthyr as he stands up and brushes dust off his pants. The venthyr pats his head and turns away, already talking to the dredgers.

The venthyr motions for him to follow, offering a hand. “I don’t have much, I’m afraid—I don’t think gargon care for tea, but you’re welcome to come with us.”

He stands there another moment before deciding. He turns and goes back to where his master is buried and lays down.

He stays there, waiting for the darkness to take him. Time passes and winds on. The creatures sometimes edge close, but there have been no other attacks. Sometime he thinks he sees some just watch him.

Venthyr, dredgers, creatures.

They do not approach.

It is a familiar scent that finally gets him to move.

It is that of the friendly venthyr, and it is mixed with fear and distress.

He races quickly to the ravine and past hissing creatures that he pays no mind.

He doesn’t stop until he finds the venthyr, fighting off others. The venthyr has lost his shirt.

He defends him, and he him.

It is a familiar pattern that he falls into easily enough.

When their enemies have fallen, he looks up to the venthyr. He does not make sense when he talks, and so he nudges him with his nose and leads the venthyr into the shade. The dredgers come, and they lead the venthyr away.

He follows.

He waits outside the shaded room that the others go into, watching for more creatures that may attack.

When the venthyr comes to the doorway, there is a change. The creature is something between the other times he has met him.

The venthyr sits down and offers a hand, so he goes over and sits in reach, allowing the venthyr to scratch behind his ears.

“You are a very good pup.”

He knows this, but it is so nice to hear after so long.

He lets out a soft boof, the sort of sound he only ever made when he and his master were alone. The venthyr is delighted.

“If there are to be introductions, I am Theotar.” The venthyr does a small half bow from where he is sitting and goes on, asking what he should be called.

Words tumble from Theotar’s mouth, but none of them matter because he knows the ones that do.

Words of love.

He will stay, and he will watch over Theotar. He will keep him safe, until the darkness comes again, and longer, if he is able.

Because he is a good pup. 

[sdvbrsb]

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[eatsleepandsupernatural]

Saved - Chapter Four

Pairings: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader

Warnings:  Angst, abuse, sexual assault

Word Count: 1600

Tags: @goddessofmischiefs  @akshi8278

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

   You gaze at the hot chocolate in your hands and against every instinct, you fight the constant pull to return to your Alpha. You take a sip with closed eyes, savouring the velvety smooth texture and sweet burst of chocolate. You scan the building for the tenth time since entering, the few Alpha's in the café were mated and remain seated, completely oblivious or uncaring of your presence in your corner booth. There are a few new Beta's lined up to receive takeaway coffees, uninterested in dine-in occupants. The fact that you are the only Omega sitting alone has not changed, and you remain on full alert.  

   You find yourself questioning your decision to leave Dean three days ago. As a result, you are back on the street, using some money Sam had given to you in case of emergencies; however, that money is running low. At the time of leaving, you were thinking of sparing yourself the pain of being sent away. You now realise that in your desperation to save yourself from more pain, you forgot to think about the consequences of leaving the safety of the bunker.  

   You recall the conversation you overheard between Dean and Cas; "I'm saying, what if she is better off far away from me? What if I should send her off to live with Jody and the girls where I know she would be safe?" You listened as Deans voice rose in tone and speed.

 "Do you think that's what she would want? Is that what you really want?" Cas was clearly the voice of reason here.

 "Want has nothing to do with it!" 

   Your heart aches at the memory and you wonder if Dean would have actually sent you to live with this Jody person. You shake your head to break away from the thought. Of course, he would have, you accepted him as your Alpha and in doing so gave him the right to protect you, you thought to yourself. 

   Now is not the time to be sentimental, it is time to move. You skull the rest of the hot chocolate, now lukewarm and place a five-dollar note on the table. With your backpack secure, you made your way out of the café and down the street. It is late afternoon, and the sun is beginning to set, a clear sign that it is time to start looking for somewhere safe to stay. At this point, you aren't sure what town you are in, though you know you can't be far from Lebanon and there is a chance that Dean could be looking for you. A small park catches your eye, and after some careful exploring, you find a cozy spot near a small pond. You sit down and pull out a book that you borrowed from the bunker's library. You feel bad about taking it, but you figure that one day you would be able to return it. 

   Half an hour passes, and the sun has almost set completely, leaving you with poor light to read in. As you place the book back in your bag, a familiar scent filled your nose. By the scent he is giving off, you could he is agitated and worried, and you almost jump into his arms, the only thing stopping you is his words to Castiel. Confident that you are found you move to stand up to discover that Dean has continued walking. You breathe a sigh of relief, although confused. You have no idea why he wasn't able to smell you. 

   You head off in the opposite direction, now unable to stay in the park.  Dean knows you are in this town and is very close to finding you. You walk quickly down the footpath, past the café and around a corner into a dark and dirty alley. Despite the bile that threatens to rise, you force yourself to keep walking. With the added smell you hope that Dean will not look for you here. 

   The further you head into the alley, the darker it gets and before you have time to register the second person you are pushed up against the damp wall. 

   An Alpha. 

   Their hands are cold and wet, and they leave a trail of grime as he runs his arms up and down your body. 

   "Aren't you precious?"

   The Alpha's rancid breath hits your nose and breaks you out of your frozen state. 

   "Get off me!" You push at his hands as hard as you can, but the Alpha moves forward, pressing his body against yours. 

   "Now, now Omega, don't fight. You won't enjoy yourself as much if you're struggling." He leans his head down and sniffs your neck, searching for any trace of a mate. His mouth widens into a toothy grin when he finds no evidence. You haven't been in Dean's presence for three days, and even then, your physical relationship was practically non-existent.

   As you continue to weakly push at the grimy Alpha, you wonder if Dean could sense your panic. You know that it isn't unknown for an Alpha to be able to sense their mates' intense emotion.

   "Relax little Omega, you and I are going to have some fun." The Alpha beams down at you, his teeth, crooked and broken. He reaches down and pulls your backpack off, throwing it off to the side. "You won't be needing that anymore."

   You cringe away in disgust, overwhelmed by his filthy scent and the selfish vibe that he gives off. The Alpha runs his lips across yours greedily, his hands pinning your arms above your head, his lower body pressing you forcefully into the wall. 

   "Stop! Get off me!” You cry out between his attacks. 

   "One more word out of you little Omega and I'll..." The Alpha is interrupted by a vicious growl that rips through the alley and echoes off the brick walls. He pulls away from you, mad at having been disrupted, anger apparent on his face. You take advantage of the opportunity given to you and attempt to move away from the Alpha, but he grabs your arm before you even manage two steps. 

   "What do you want? We are a little busy." The Alpha spits at the faceless man standing before us. 

   "I want my mate." Four simple words that knock the air from your chest. You stand there in shock as Dean moves closer, his scent almost knocking you off your feet. The closer he gets, the clearer he became, and you can just make out the outline of his face from where he is standing. 

   "There are no mated Omegas here, you'll have to keep looking. If you'll excuse us." The Alpha's grip tightens around your arm, and he begins to drag you away from Dean and the safety you know he can and will provide. Seeing him stand there makes you regret ever leaving him. 

   "Hand her over. I won't ask again." Your eyes are glued on your Alpha's face as he makes his way towards you. "I can have two more Alpha's here in seconds. You don't really want to fight, do you?"

   The Alpha's grip on your arm loosens slightly at the idea of fighting, and though you are sure that Dean wouldn't need Sam and Cas to help him beat up one guy, you are glad that they are nearby. 

   After a few more moments, the Alpha pushes you forward into Dean's arms, "Fine have her, she's not worth it." 

   Dean growls lowly at the insult as he wraps his arms around you and leads you out of the alley. He remains tense and silent as he guides you down the path towards the black car you recognise as Baby. Dean opens the passenger door, and a firm hand pushes you into the car and slamming the door behind you. He climbs into the driver's seat and starts the car without a word. 

   "Dean, I..."  

   "Don't." He cuts you off tersely without sparing you a glance. 

   You spend the car ride going over all the reasons why you shouldn't have left in the first place, and compared them to the one reason that made you. You feel like an idiot. 

   Turns out you are only one town out of Lebanon, and you are back at the bunker within half an hour. You unbuckle your seatbelt and you step out of the car, feeling safe for the first time in days, despite the fury that is flowing off Dean in waves. 

   "Inside now." You follow Dean slowly down the stairs and through the front door, a warm blush forming on you cheeks at the sight of Sam and Cas standing next to the giant map table, the disappointment and concern clear on their faces.

   "Sup guys?" You joke as you come to a stop at the bottom of the steps.  Sam's mouth twitches in amusement at your words, but Cas remains stoic. Your Alpha growls lowly next to you, and you cringe at your carelessness. Under normal circumstances, Dean would love a joke, but today is not normal.

   "With me, now." Dean doesn't wait for a reply before marching down the hallway. 

   You take a deep breath following him through to your bedroom. Dean shuts the door behind you blocking your only potential escape. You glance around at the room, your eyes falling on the unmade bed. You meet Dean's gaze for the first time since reuniting with him, and you're taken aback by the raw emotion. 

   "Alpha..." You trail off, not knowing where to start.

   Dean closes the distance between you and hooks his fingers under your chin. 

   "You have a lot of explaining to do little Omega."

Chapter 5

[eeveevie]

sentimental

From this prompt list:  “The thought of losing you scares me.”

A classic “Mads and Deeks in a church” with a sprinkling of Shakespeare, religious overtones, angst, and comfort. *chefs kiss* I miss writing these two outside of Noir AU. Sorry this took a little while, but thank you for the prompt. @glowstickia​

Deacon x Madelyn Hardy (Agent Charmer)

987 words | [read on Ao3]

There was a certain kind of peaceful calm that settled over the Old North Church after sunset that Madelyn appreciated. While elsewhere in the Commonwealth, nighttime usually signified the appearance of raiders and radioactive wildlife, but in that little haven of North End, all was quiet. The conditions didn’t do anything to help her fall asleep at a reasonable time, however—not that she ever did.

Her Pip-Boy rang out in a soft chime that signaled it was midnight, prompting her to stop her patrol around the building and head back inside. Regardless of how she felt, she needed to force herself to rest. In the morning, the Railroad would be putting Tinker Tom’s engineering to the test when they used the courser chip and transporter he built to send her (hopefully) into the Institute. Madelyn was still trying to wrap her head around the possibility that in a handful of hours, she could be face-to-face with her son. She’d also come to terms with the reality that the Institute could just as well kill her on sight, or worse, replace her with a synthetic lookalike. Instead of dwelling on the fears, she put on a brave face and focused on the assignment—the Railroad were counting on her success.  

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?”

She tilted her head up to find Deacon in the upper pews—a favored spot of theirs—leaning over the edge to look down at her. Madelyn smiled, pausing in her path towards the stairway that led towards the catacombs.

“Shouldn’t I be on the balcony?” she asked, softly laughing at his shrug.

“Same sentiment.”

Madelyn didn’t have nearly as much Shakespeare memorized as he did, but decided she was better off climbing the stairs to join him than butcher a soliloquy on the ground floor of the church. Deacon watched her movements the entire time, even as she sat down on the wooden bench beside him.

“It is my lady,” he continued the joke.

Having spent the better portion of the last several months as his side, she’d become perceptive to his deflections—he was hiding something. Then again, when wasn’t he? Even after breaking past his defenses as their romance blossomed, there were secrets to keep, lies to be told. Madelyn never took it personally, knowing that beyond the façade, they were both incredibly fragile and emotional individuals who needed time. Rather than interrogate him, she found comfort in the amiable silence that blanketed them, resting her head against his shoulder as he grasped her hand to lace their fingers. It didn’t matter to her how long they sat there, watching his thumb brush over her knuckles, but as the minutes dragged on she couldn’t help herself from asking.

“What are you thinking about?”

Deacon sighed, breath tickling across her temple as he nuzzled the top of her head with his nose. “You don’t want to know.”

There wasn’t a trace of humor or lewd suggestion to his words, which concerned her. She tilted her head back just enough to confirm his lips were in a taught line, not quite a pout, brows furrowed. Even though they were alone, he hadn’t removed his shades and she had the overwhelming desire to see the stormy blue color of his eyes. But maybe he had left them covered for a good reason.

Madelyn frowned. “What is it?”

“The thought of losing you scares me.”

Finally, a truth. Hard to admit, she was sure, but she’d heard confessions from him before that held significant emotional weight. It wasn’t until she realized the context how poignant this one was. The Institute—her assignment. Up until now, they had run Railroad missions together. Even when she became sidetracked (as he put it), assisting the Minutemen, he was there as her constant companion, partner and friend. Except now, their dynamic had shifted. Now, there were strings attached. More than stolen kisses in rainy Goodneighbor alleys, she had told him she loved him. In a few hours she would be cutting those strings and leaving him behind, traveling into the unknown. Was it any wonder he felt this way?

There weren’t any words Madelyn could speak to comfort him. She wasn’t about to offer up hollow promises guaranteeing her safety, but those would only lead to disappointment if she never returned. Another lesson on old-world Catholicism came to mind—she’d given him plenty since they met, and she would give him another tonight.

“Votive candle,” she said quietly, watching as his expression turned curious. With her free hand, she gestured to the first floor. “They were set up in the church for people to light in prayer for themselves or others.”

Deacon nodded but remained silent. Madelyn raised her gaze to his shielded eyes. “I know we aren’t the praying type, but maybe you can leave one burning for me, while I’m away.”

“Yeah,” he answered in a breath. “I’ll do that.”

With nothing left to say, she rested her hand on his cheek, tilting her chin up just enough so she could kiss him. There was desperation behind the soft, chaste contact and yet neither made to increase the pressure for several passing seconds. Deacon shifted first, warm hand angling her head to allow him better access as he dipped his tongue past her lips. They remained slow and measured, but she could feel a thousand pleas being whispered to her as they kissed, his fingers grasping tightly as they threaded through her golden waves.

Slowly they broke away, resting their heads together and she inched closer to brush her nose against his, silently reminding him in her own way of how she felt. She wasn’t about to tarnish the moment with words, regardless of how heartfelt they were. Her Pip-Boy alerted them to the passing hour, and she knew she couldn’t stay there with him forever.

Madelyn wished they had more time.