#Somebody to love and trust and share good memories with. to spend time with. someone worthy of her time at all

[yourimagines]

I saw you write about UFC fighters could you do sfw and nsfw alphabet for Khamzat? I'm looking everywhere for Khamzat, but low key no one writes about him. I think he deserves some love too

of course he does, I'll start with a SFW one.

What he likes about you fluff

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Gif is not mine

* Triggers: Fluff

A = Admiration, what he absolutely adore about you: he adores that you love his family and friends, your always trying to understand them and even trying to speak their language. It really makes him proud to have a girlfriend like you.

B = Body, what is his favorite part of your body: your soft hands, the way they fit perfectly in his hands and that they are so small and soft makes him all protective over you.

C = Cuddling, how he likes to cuddle: he’s the big spoon, his arms wrapped over your shoulders, loosely wrapped around your neck as you snuggle your head against his arms.

D = Dates, what his ideal date with you would look like: Staying at home, surprising you with gifts as you cook some dinner. He’s always trying to you help you out but he’s not very good at it, he just makes sure the table is set and your gift beautifully wrapped up.

E = Emotions, how he express his emotions around you: He tries to tell you about what’s going on in his life but mostly he bottles his emotions away, causing him to burst everything out at the same time.

F = Family, does he want one? If he does, when: he wants to marry you, live together and have a big family together. He wants it now but he waits for you to be ready for the next steps in life but when you are ready….

G = Gifts, how he feels about gift giving? What is his habit when it comes to this: he brings you flowers, sends you flowers. Buys everything you like, gifting everything you want. Sometimes he treats you by giving his card when you go out shopping.

H = Holding Hands, when/how he likes to hold hands: he likes to hold you in the old school way but behind closed doors, your not married yet and wants to respect you but when you are married he will hold hands in public, sometimes fingers twined together.

I = Injury, how he would act if you got hurt: he gets angry and worried. He yells mostly in Russian and will knock somebody out if they don’t help you/him. He will pace around and thinks how stupid he is for letting this happen to you.

J = Jokes, does he likes to joke around with or prank you and how: yes but not in public places, he respects you and doesn’t like to embarrass you in front of others. The pranks you pull on each other are not mega but they are funny.

K = Kisses, how he likes to kiss you: Slow with you on his lap so he can hold you by your waist, he loves to take it slow, to show you how much he loves you.

L = Love, how he shows you he loves you: buying gifts, driving you around, respecting you and making sure you know that, buying you flowers and all ways taking care of you. He also loves to kiss you and hold you in his arms.

M = Memory, favourite memory together: going to your first live fight night, he brought the best tickets and made sure you loved it, he got you some drinks and snacks. He made sure you met some of the fighters and took you out for food/dinner afterwards.

N = Nightmare, what is his worst fear: Someone hurting you, like seriously hurting you.

O = Oddity, what is one quirk he haves: He’s silly with you, he likes to make these weird food combinations and watch cartoons with you.

P = Pet Names, what he likes to call you: Babe and honey

Q = Quality Time, how he likes to spend time with you: at home, watching some tv, training together in his home gym, going for a walk or swim, doing anything you want.

R = Rhythm, what song reminds you of him: that one song everyone puts under their Khamzat edits, when you hear that one, you think immediately about him.

S = Secrets, how open is he with you: he’s open with you, he shares his secrets because he trusts you.

T = Time, how long did it take you to get together: it took two months for him to properly asked you to be his.

U = Upset, how does he acts when you’re upset: angry, he will get angry and afterwards he’s the person who apologise and tries to make it up with you.

V = Vaunt, what is he proud of, Does he likes to show you off: He doesn’t really like to show you off like a prize but he loves to bring you around his family, showing them your good to him and that he’s good for you.

W = Warrior, how would he feel about you fighting? Would he fight for you: he would fight everybody (smash everybody). Nobody is talking crap about you, he will make sure of that.

X = X-Ray, how well can he read you: He doesn’t see everything, he will see the basic things and knows when your not feeling well but that’s it, he doesn’t really know when your giving him these small hints.

Y = Yes, how would he propose to you: somewhere private, probably in a fancy hotel on a balcony.

Z = Zen, what makes him feel calm: chilling around, your hands touching his back. After a good fight or training.

[nehts]

So fucking normal tonight. I'm realising that I could absolutely fool my beloved wife into seeing the Voryn ball post again because I sent her discord messages about another post entirely - so she has reason to check her tumblr DMs .

I won't. but the temptation is killing me right now

[hes-writer]

drivers’ license

Summary: harry teaches y/n how to drive

Warnings: angst, a little bit of fluff

Word Count: 1805 words

A/N: the ‘blonde girl’ has no face claim.

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MASTERLIST

_____

There were many milestones that Y/N strived to remember; things that she wanted to embed in her memory because each fleeting moment was a few seconds away from being lost.  She was afraid that in a blink of an eye; everything would disappear, that she wouldn’t even remember what had been forgotten.

But she would never forget him. Harry. The best friend who taught her how to drive with the utmost patience, calm correction of her mistakes and gentle voice to ease her worry as soon as the shift went from ‘P’ to ‘D’.  He was there with precise instruction, detailing each rule and advice that would help her acquire her drivers’ license.  He was tolerant of her constant ability to doubt herself, always assuring Y/N that she could do it.

It was silly why Y/N was scared of driving.  It was because it felt so grown up, so adult-like and it bought a sense of responsibility.  It meant fully committing to adulthood.  There was a shift that everything was changing.  And by that, she meant everything.

.

.

.

It seemed like a distant memory now.

Y/N took the leap of faith to start learning how to drive, trusting him to teach her the ways. Harry was her light in a dark day.  His smile was bright enough for her to admit that through the haze of her nervousness; it wasn’t just caused by her fear of handling and operating a vehicle.

It also had to do with the way Y/N’s stomach fluttered with butterflies when she had parked in an empty lot, Harry sitting on the passenger’s seat as they talked to each other about anything and everything their minds could conjure up at that very moment. No filter.

How Harry enthusiastically shared his excitement about Y/N’s newfound ability to drive to and fro from her apartment to his place.  They would be able to go on drives on the coast with nostalgic songs blasting on the radio, screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs where no one would hear them.  The wind sifting through his hair to which she commented on maybe getting it snipped; it was why Harry opted to not trust Y/N with scissors anymore after a close-call with the sharp tool.  She didn’t know why he had decided to trust her with it in the first place--she was a clumsy one.

Yet Harry continued to spend each and every second of his free time with her, even when he was booked to the hilt with mandatory meetings and unplanned fan encounters, Y/N stood by his side as an unofficial photographer.  The dopey grin on her face must’ve been permanent every time that she was around him.  Sometimes she looked through the screen of the phone and wondered just how much she would break if Harry wasn’t around in her life and all she had to remember him by was the captured portrait of his kind aura leaking through the device; almost as if he was there right beside her because Y/N seemed to label her best memories with him around.

Harry was it for her.  Even if her feelings were not mutual, Y/N would take being his closest friend over being a stranger because at least she was near him.  Luckily, Harry returned her affection.  Though, it was humiliating to vouch for a relationship that would have to go through troughs and trenches in order to be rendered successful.  It seemed impossible with her stoic life compared to his fast-paced, always moving, always travelling situation.

Y/N was willing to work for it.  If she were to make a list of things she wanted most, it would be the unconditional love from the one that meant the most to her.  Harry was exactly what she wanted--what she needed.  Y/N didn’t know what she did in her past life or even now that caused the universe to gift her with a presence as charming and graceful as his but she would do it every day if it meant coming home to his warm embrace.

But Harry wasn’t so keen on commitment.  There was no denying that his thorough discourse of relationships hindered his ability to fully trust any future partners and Y/N understood that.  The distance gets to peoples’ heads, even his, admittedly.  Loneliness seeps through his fingers, directing his body to strangely familiar bodies. Ones whom he was not currently committed to. Wandering hands.

Despite that, Y/N knew that Harry was a good person.  Some may call her a fool for giving him a chance but he truly was a genuine guy.  She had seen it when he was coddled up, blankets bunched all the way to his chin, only showcasing his angelic face.  The crease of his brows free from any worries.  He was simply him.  She had seen him when he was the most vulnerable.

Harry was a romantic person.  He loved to love.  He adored the concept of having someone behind him, beside him and in front of him at all times to catch him when he fell, to support him in any new journeys and to lead him when he was lost.  Y/N could understand his shortcomings, aiming to better the other person instead of putting them down.  She wanted a dialogic approach instead of having a conversation where all she pointed out was his bad qualities.

What she couldn’t comprehend was how easily he had lied to her.

She wasn’t asking for much; Y/N promised to wait for him until he was ready. Until his previous baggage was deemed easy enough to carry, or at least when Harry was able to talk about it without anointing skepticism to his actions.  Though, Harry had blatantly disregarded her purity to be patient towards him.  Basically, he had told her that he was not ready for a relationship yet here he was now, holding hands with another girl.  The blonde woman had caused insecurities to sprout from deep within her since Harry kept citing her age and maturity, adding that she was ‘different’ from the rest as if he hadn’t mentioned it previously.

.

.

.

Y/N would ask herself from time to time; when a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound?

She compared it to the times’ Harry’s voice cracked in the middle of singing songs that embedded itself in her memory and the way his ears tinted a blush pink even under the night sky after Y/N quickly gave a glance in his direction.  She reminisced about the times when he would explain any ideas he had about new songs, thoroughly immersing not only himself but her as well, in his art.  He would sometimes stop midway as if lost in thought when really he was just mesmerized by the slope of her nose and the pucker of her lips.

He was so passionate.  So indulged and fervent in making sure everything he did was one-hundred percent, authentically him.  Harry spoke with grit when he was overly zealous and he tended with a soft voice when he felt vulnerable.

It was glaringly loud; Y/N could hear him everywhere she went.  But now that he was gone—out of reach—did those conversations ever really happen?  Was she even present when Harry shyly played a song he had been working on for her, singing stripped with just his raspy voice, serenading her with a tune describing how much gratitude he felt that she was present in his life.  He appreciated her so much for accepting him even when the world criticized his every action. For being there when he seemingly felt lonely.

.

.

.

Life itself was funny to her.

Sometimes Y/N wondered how she could let herself be vulnerable with somebody else other than herself.  It was plastered everywhere—love never lasts.  Relationships come and go, people leave and never return, friends, drift apart and detaching from oneself was even possible.  It was practically the motto of anyone searching for love—looking for a sense of comfort and belonging, yet she was practically crushed by the overwhelming reality that it may never happen.

She hated the way her heart longed for him to be near as if when he was too far away it ached in pain.  Y/N disliked the feeling of being out of place because where she truly belonged was in his arms.  Harry’s nose nuzzled at the top of her head, inhaling her scent as though it was the last time he would hold her—for a while at least.

And it really was because the next day he had left to catch a flight a mere continent away.

____

The night before was special to Y/N. Harry left with a promise of ‘forever’ and that he would return straight to her after his tour ends.  It was a dainty promise but Y/N chose to believe him because it was Harry and he never strayed from his words.

He promised to return and Y/N had sworn to wait for him. They both agreed, after admitting their feelings the night before he left, that a long-distance relationship was not how either of them wanted to begin.  Although their friendship had lasted years prior to finding out the bubbling flame between them, crossing the line as seamlessly as possible was the gateway to a healthy relationship.

Y/N could hardly wait for his return now that she was driving alone to where she needed to be.  Harry was always at the back of her mind no matter how hard she tried to distract herself.  He was attached to the episodic memory of Y/N successfully learning how to drive; that was something she couldn’t really forget.

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.

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Y/N unlocked the car doors, breathing deeply as soon as she was situated on the driver’s seat. The beeping of the car ringing in her ears until she was reminded to close the car door shut.

She blinked her lids tightly, feeling salty tears pooling at her waterline.  It was a sad excuse of trying to not start sobbing right then and there but she was successful.

Starting the engine, Y/N sniffled as she adjusted her mirror, making sure that she could see through them before driving off. As she focused her eyes on the road, Harry’s voice repeated in her head.

She didn’t know where she was going. Y /N didn’t really have a destination to arrive to because her brain was filled with images of Harry and her.  Kissing, hugging, looking at each other as if nobody else in the mattered; not even Y/N.

And it hurt a lot because she kept her promise of waiting for him to return but it seemed like he had no trouble filling the hole in his heart, unlike her.

He moved on.

_____

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

Wander over Yonder Messages

To anyone who dares to think this show is stupid

1) Actions speak louder than words

2) Accept defeat with dignity

3) Not everyone you meet has good intensions

4) Love always wins

5) Think before you speak

6) Make sacrifices for those you love

7) Do good and you will receive good

8) If you love something, set it free

9)  Life may not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful

10)  All’s well that ends well

11)  You’ll always get caught in your lies

12) Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not in order to fit in

13) Know how to accept it when you’re wrong

14) Ignore people who insult you and want to bring you down

15) Having a beautiful heart is what really matters

16) Have a strength of character

17) Stand up for yourself and those you care about

18)  It doesn’t matter whether someone else believes in you or not, you need to believe in yourself first

19) Life doesn’t give you what you want, it gives you what you need

20) Don’t make quick judgments

21) Don’t underestimate someone’s abilities

22) Face your problems head on and don’t run away from them

23)  A true hero is humble, kind and selfless

24) Life isn’t a fairytale and things don’t always work out the way we want them to

25) The biggest gift anyone can give you is a smile

26) Always be grateful for the little things someone does to make you happy

27) Always make sure to set a good example for others

28) The most powerful thing you can do is win a battle against yourself

29) Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not in order to impress someone

30) Don’t trust everything you hear and everyone you meet

31) Enjoy the ride and don’t compare yourself to others

32) Deal with problems with intelligence and wit and not violence

33) It’s not good to spend too much time in your head and forget about reality

34) Always take into consideration the needs of others

35) You can’t force someone to love you

36) Expect the best, but be prepared for the worst

37)  A true friend is always there for you when you need them, believes in you and won’t give up on you

38) Follow your heart’s desires

39) Make sacrifices for the betterment of others

40) Even the smallest things can mean the world to someone

41)  Imagination is a beautiful and powerful thing

42) Don’t be selfish and always focus on what you want

43) Appearances are deceiving

44) It’s better to have a beautiful mind and soul than to be physically appealing

45) Good and evil are both equally important

46) Instead of fighting with someone, try to put your differences aside to solve the issue

47) Nothing is impossible

48) Some people are manipulative and fake

49)  Behind every hard exterior there is a heart that wants to experience love

50)  Always be kind to someone, even if they’re not kind towards you

51) We are one

52) Everyone deserves to be happy and to feel loved and appreciated no matter who they are

53) People are not always what they seem or who you thought they were at first

54) Sometimes you are the reason for your own problems

55) Have balance in everything you do, even good

56) Hang out with people who make you a better person

57) You never know how much you really need someone/something until they’re gone

58) Always make sure the people in your life know how much you appreciate them

59) Friendship is the biggest adventure of all

60) An enemy is just a friend you haven’t made yet

61) It always pays off to be kind

62) Always keep your promises

63) Sometimes the kindest hearts have felt the most pain

64) Keep your eyes on the prize

65) Karma will always come back to you

66) The secret ingredient is love

67) Don’t try to change someone and accept them as they are

68) Let people find their own happiness and don’t force them to be happy

69) Accept every single part of someone, even their flaws

70) Respect your elders

71) Some things/people are built to last

72) Your weakness can also be your strengths

73) True friendship (love) is better than being cool and popular

74) Superficial things are temporary and unimportant at the end of the day

75) In order to achieve your goals and dreams, you need to be ambitious, hard-working and determined. With those qualities and a good plan, you can do anything

76) It’s easy to manipulate huge masses of people

77) Enjoy every little moment spent with those you love

78) Loyalty is priceless

79) Live life to the fullest while you still can

80) Don’t be afraid to be different

81) Always try to understand where people are coming from

82) Patience is an important quality

83) Real life is so much more beautiful than virtual reality

84) Take risks

85) There’s good in everyone

86) Love is a battlefield (and sometimes you lose)

87) We’re all just little black cubes of darkness

88) Don’t come to conclusions without thinking things through

89) Making someone else feel special is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world

90) Sharing is caring

91) Don’t hide who you are and be unapologetically yourself

92) Don’t be what other people want to see

93) Don’t let greed get to you, because you’ll end up losing what you already have

94) Always be humble and kind

95) Keep in mind that you’re not the only one who’s suffering, and that there are many people out there who’re hurting too

96) Love is worth fighting for

97) People tend to present themselves in a better light than they really are

98) Be carefree and go with the flow

99)  It’s important to have balance between your head and heart

100) People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel

101) Never give up when things get hard

102) Your family loves you unconditionally no matter what

103) Don’t be bothered by other people’s business and do your own thing

104) Deal with unrequited love with hope and optimism

105) Let people believe in whatever they want to believe in

106) Don’t break people’s illusions because they give them hope

107) First come small wins, then big ones

108) The darkest times are when you should laugh the loudest

109) Spending time with the ones you love is never a waste of time

110) Don’t focus on the past or future, but the present

111) Don’t waste time on jealousy

112) Even when it looks like other people have it all figured out, that’s not always the case

113) Keep toxic people out of your life

114) Just because we fail doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try

115) Our world is created by our state of mind

116) We won’t be able to see beauty around us if we don’t carry it within ourselves

117) You can’t allow pride to stand in the way of doing what’s right

118) We’re all eternal students of life

119) Nobody’s perfect

120) Not knowing yourself and what you’re capable of is dangerous

121) It’s a pleasure to do what people say you cannot do

122)  It’s better to believe in a lot of things than not to believe in anything

123) All good things come to an end, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make memories

124) Everybody needs somebody

125) People are more than they show on the outside

126)  Nothing can separate those who really care about each other

127) You can’t buy love

128) People and their actions can be unpredictable

129) We don’t live for love, but we die for it

130) Those who are less scared of death have more meaningful and fulfilling lives

131) Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened

132) We should sympathize with other people’s struggles

133) If something can’t be in your life, keep it in your heart

134) We can change the world only when we experience change within ourselves

135) Friendship means cooperation and mutual respect

136) We become more like the people we spend time with

137) Bad things/people can change

138) There’s more power in doing the things that scare you than in the most powerful weapons

139) Help yourself and let others help you

140) No one knows everything

141) Little things in life are those that really matter

142) The more you know, the more you grow

143) Teamwork is important

144) Always stand up for what you believe in, even if it means you’ll stand alone

145) Never give up hope

146) Be aware of your emotions and express them without shame

147) Life is all about transformations; when some things end, others come to life

148) True inner strength is being able to deal with your own passions

149) You can do anything with the help of those who care about you

150) There’s always a reason why someone acts the way they do

151) Have the strength to give those who have wronged you second chances

152) All you need is love

[bureowo]

skinny love | stray kids headcanons

skinny love: term used to describe a romantic relationship between two people who are unable to communicate their feelings for each other.

genre: fluff, slight angst bc i can’t escape my roots.

word count: ~2.8k total.

warnings: none.

chan

› chan looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars in the sky. he stares at you a lot, sometimes you catch him and you both pretend you don’t notice the way you start to blush or how his ears turn red.

› he always smiles when he sees you and asks you about your day because he genuinely wants to know. he loves to hear you talk about anything and everything, and could listen to your voice for hours on end. but as much as he enjoys the chitchat, nothing compares to the deep conversations the two of you share. you trust each other, so much, you tell each other things you wouldn’t even dream of saying aloud otherwise. and chan’s heart swells when he thinks about it, it means the world to him.

› chan can be very charming, and when he’s in a confident mood, he can be so flirty. the compliments are relentless and he smiles at you with a teasing gleam in his eyes. he holds your hands, and if he’s feeling reckless, he might even place his hand on the small of your back, or maybe even your thigh.

› he loves spending time with you. you’ll always remember the first time he invited you over to the studio. you arrived mid-afternoon, thinking you’d only be there for a couple of hours, only to find yourself well past dusk, still sitting besides him. you tried to be mad at him, really, but his bashful smile and the promise of a quick food run quickly tore your resolution to shreds. that night, after a nice, warm meal and a myriad of giggles and murmurs, the two of you fell asleep wrapped up in each other’s embrace, the armrest of the studio’s couch digging uncomfortably into your neck. but just as you’d been about to drift off, you could’ve sworn you heard the faintest whisper of “i love you.”

minho

› minho stares at you great deal as well, but the way he looks at you is much more pensive, his expression hard to read. (but, oh, if only you knew the thoughts that spin through his mind like a whirlwind). he doesn’t blush or make a big deal out of it when you catch him staring, instead he just keeps looking at you, straight into your eyes, as if he can see right through your soul.

› he’s not one to be lowkey, really. he tries to get your attention from across the room, deliberately smirking or even winking at you if you happen to land your sight upon him. minho relishes in making you laugh, it’s like music to his ears. whenever you hang out with the rest of the boys, he tries his hardest to elicit the melodious string of giggles out of your mouth, throwing witty comment after sarcastic joke your way, his gaze focused on you and a smug, complacent grin on his face.

› minho is so soft for you, he’d never admit it out loud but he doesn’t need to, everyone can tell. he’s always much more lenient with you, much gentler, than he is with anyone else. you’re at the forefront of his thoughts at all times and even the slightest shift in your demeanour or the smallest change in your expression makes alarms go off in his head.

› he’s so affectionate in such subtle ways sometimes. you’ll never forget the first time he made your heart flutter. it was such a simple action, truly, he was just trying to get an eyelash off your cheek, but the softness of his thumb as it brushed across your skin and the tender way in which he held your face made you shiver. his face was so close to yours, you could feel his breath fanning over your skin. his body so near to your own, you could feel his chest heaving with  each breath he took. he was so close, and there was nothing you’d wanted more in that moment than to kiss him, kiss him deep and hard, kiss him with everything you had. and he was so close that maybe you could have, and maybe you did.

changbin

› changbin radiates a glow so warm and blazing it could even put the sun to shame. he compliments you so much, a slightly lopsided grin permanently etched onto his face whenever he talks to you. and the way he looks at you sometimes, with half-lidded, dreamy eyes. he’s effortlessly charming, and you just can’t help the way he makes you feel, like your heart is going to burst into flames.

› he wouldn’t admit it even if somebody paid him to, but he dresses up extra good when he knows he’s going to see you. the amount of time he spends rummaging through his closet and checking himself out in front of the mirror almost makes him feel embarrassed, but he just truly wants to impress you. he wants to show off in front of you, and if that means having to flex his arms a little and then get flustered when the boys tease him over it, then so be it. because, really, it’s all worth it the second words of praise and flattery begin leaving your mouth.

› changbin wants to know everything about you: the good, the bad and the ugly. he’s always asking things about you, and he tells you a lot about himself in exchange, too. he wants you to know that you can trust him, and that he’ll always be there for you, no matter what. he is so generous and giving, he tries to help you with everything he can, from the small things, like handing you the utensils as he watches you cook, to the more grievous matters.

› he remembers the day he came into your apartment only to find you completely broken, falling apart on your couch. the memory still nicks at his heart, it makes him grimace every time he thinks back to the endless stream of tears flowing down your face. he held onto your shoulders, trying to get you to speak, to just talk to him, tell him what was wrong, though you could do nothing but sob. his mind went haywire, panic quickly filling his entire body, so he did the only think he could think of: he held you. he held you firmly and securely in between his arms, head tucked under his chin. he held you for hours on end, until your tears ceased and you both fell asleep. and then, he held you some more.

hyunjin

› oh, sweet little hyunjin, it’s so obvious he adores you. sometimes, when he’s looking at you, he gets so caught up in your beauty he forgets what he’s doing. and when you smile at him or laugh at one of his jokes? it’s like his brain short-circuits, he messes up his words, stammering and fumbling to get out any sort of wordage. as senseless as it may come out, he always manages to make it sound cute.

› he talks to you a lot, he brings up small details about himself and tells you about the things he likes in hopes that you’ll remember them, and also, as a subtle way to get you speaking about yourself without having to ask you directly. but hyunjin also tells you other things, things about himself he’s never told anyone. he trusts you wholeheartedly, so he lets his walls down and opens up to you.

› he loves spending time with you. he texts you as you’re about to fall asleep, asking if you want to go get food with him. he’ll randomly show up at your doorstep with facemasks and a tub of ice cream, claiming it’s ‘self-care day’. you’ve grown accustomed to having to cancel plans because a spur of the moment adventure with hyunjin sounds that much more enticing.

› hyunjin is very soft and affectionate with you, he holds your hand gently and likes to smooth his fingers over your hair. there’s nothing he enjoys more, however, than cuddling on the sofa with you on a foggy afternoon, with a blanket draped over the both of you and a movie playing quietly on the background. he sighs in contentment a lot, holding you close to him, and he looks at you so fondly. he gets so incredibly shy if anyone catches you, though. like that time chan walked into the living room to find you and hyunjin in the midst of a cuddling session, limbs tangled and blanket almost laying on the floor. chan cleared his throat awkwardly before scurrying off to his room, but by then, hyunjin’s face was already smooshed against your neck. he groaned, wrapping his arms around you a bit tighter as his cheeks turned rosy.

jisung

› jisung’s feelings for you are so inconspicuous, sometimes you’re even left wondering if he feels anything for you at all. if he even thinks of you the way you think of him, because your heart has a special place set aside and it has his name written all over it. but, oh, if only you knew what you mean to him; you are a beacon of light shining in the dark, luring him in like a moth to a flame.

› he gives you so much attention, really, he can’t keep his eyes off of you. he smiles whenever you enter the room, face brightening immediately, before greeting you with a soft ‘hi’. jisung always stands by you in crowds, eyes alert and hand attached to your shoulder, as if he’s afraid he’s going to lose you amongst the people. sometimes, you take his hand from your shoulder and hold it, intertwining your fingers with his, afraid you might lose him, too.

› jisung tries so hard to impress you. he wears the type of clothes he knows you like and he does his hair in the styles you’ve complimented him for. he tends to wear your favourite colour quite often, as well, in hopes it’ll catch your eye. jisung just wants you to tell him he looks good, honestly, because he can be rather hesitant at times, insecure even.

› it still makes your guts churn when you recall the tremble in his voice, the night he’d asked you: “am I good enough?”. your hands felt as gelid as the night draught as it brushed across your faces. you weren’t all too clear on what he’d been alluding to, in which way could he possibly deem himself not good enough, but you knew without a shadow of a doubt that jisung was the best person you’d ever come to know. white puffs left your mouth, dissipating into the air above you as you described him from your viewpoint, listing all of the attributes and virtues that compose the essence of what’s truly him, someone who is so good. and the way he looked at you afterwards left you feeling bare in a way you never had before.

felix

› you and felix’s feelings are so palpable and so glaringly reciprocated, everyone around you two is left scratching their heads, wondering how the both of you can be so oblivious. but then again, how could you really know for certain?

› felix is, by nature, quite an affectionate, touchy person. so how are you to deduce that the way he hugs you just a bit too tight, or how his hand rests warmly and comfortably over yours for just a tad too long, or the manner in which he oh-so-gently strokes your back when he can tell you’re nervous, mean anything other than that: touches? and how are you supposed to know that his skin tingles all over every time you as much as graze a finger over it?

› he invites you places, and introduces you to all his friends with an arm thrown over your shoulder, as if he’s trying to show you off. he takes you to restaurants and coffee shops, never the same one twice. “it’s so we can know new places” he always says. and he loves going out for walks through the park with you, he holds your hand whilst smiling toothily, and when you get tired you both sit on the grass and watch the sun go down.

› it’s preposterous, really, how daft you two can be. or maybe you’re both bluffing, pretending neither of you can see the signs. you pondered over this thought one afternoon, felix was animatedly telling you about his day, but you’d only been picking up a few stray words here and there. it’s not like you meant to not give him your full attention, you just couldn’t help but get lost in his features. by the time you realized he stopped talking, you’d been staring at his lips long enough for him to notice. if you’d been a little less enthralled, you would’ve anxiously waited for an awkward chuckle, or perhaps even a teasing remark, but instead he leaned a little closer to you, and your heart skipped a beat.

seungmin

› seungmin is subtle, like the rays of sunlight shining through the trees on a midspring afternoon: tepid and in view, but not in the fulgent way that leaves you blinded and stunned. he’s sweet and friendly, always talking to you with a big, fond smile on his face. he pays so much attention to you whenever you speak and he’s very responsive, sometimes you can’t help the blush from creeping up your cheeks.

› he tells you things about himself, and you love how excited he gets when you ask him questions about his interests, you can’t help but find the way he rambles on and on, looking at you with starry eyes, utterly adorable. he always tries to sneak in little comments or jokes to make you laugh too, and if he manages it, the broad and full smile adorning his face doesn’t clear out until he’s well and deep into sleep.

› he cares about you a lot. he checks up on you rather regularly, and you’re not quite sure when it started, but ‘hey, have you eaten yet?’ has become his way of greeting you. he just wants to make sure you’re taking proper care of yourself. he sends you texts often, letting you know how he’s doing and what he’s been up to, so you don’t worry too much if you guys haven’t been able to meet for a while. because even if he doesn’t see you, you live in his mind night and day.

› sometimes seungmin get shy, head tilting downwards bashfully. other times, though, he gets gutsy, dauntless. like that day that time stood still. he’d been talking to you merrily, holding your wrists in between his hands and swinging your arms around lightly. your head was buzzing, you felt lighter and lighter with every word seungmin spoke, and before too long, you felt as if the two of you were floating, suspended in mid-air. you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, afraid that if you did, it would all end and you’d both come crashing down. yet when he had finished speaking, his grasp on you lingered, and he gazed at you so longingly. and the two of you stayed like that, defying gravity for just a moment longer.

jeongin

› jeongin tries to be tenuous, he truly does. he likes to think that his feelings for you are as nebulous and impalpable as the clouds in the sky. though they are more like the rain, washing down upon you and impossible to ignore. he wonders why the boys tease him about you, but that’s only because he can’t see the way his eyes gleam any time he looks at you.

› he’s so friendly and sweet with you, nicer than he is with anyone else. he’s affectionate without even realizing it, he holds your hand to pull you along when he wants you to walk faster, he drapes his arm over your shoulder when he sits besides you, he clings to your arm for balance whenever you make him laugh. he’s so charming, you just can’t help but melt into his touch and become putty in his hands.

› he is so attached to you, honestly. at first, he’d just invite you places every now and again, yet slowly but surely it turned into him showing up at your place and announcing what the two of you would be doing for that particular day. it’s habitual now, for him to text you an address, soliciting your immediate arrival. the boys don’t even question it anymore, it’s fact, a stability, the sun rises every morning, and you’ll go wherever jeongin asks you to with a pep in your step and a smile on your face.

› jeongin delights in playing around with you and teasing you. there’s a moment in particular that you can’t help but replay over and over inside your head. he’d been teasing you unremittingly throughout the entire day, throwing sarcastic after witty comment your way about anything that popped into his mind and, truthfully, he was getting on your nerves. he wasn’t often like this, usually he’d stop after a pout and a bat of the eyelashes, but that day he seemed bolder, adamant. it only took a peculiar remark for you to completely lose it, although not how he expected. you jumped into position, fully ready and willing to fight him to the best of your capabilities. he took every punch and kick, pretending they actually hurt and letting out fake crying noises. not too long after, you both collapsed on the couch, laughing and slightly out of breath, you turned your face towards him only to find him already looking at you. you stared at each other and begun to feel breathless once more, although this time, it was for completely different reasons.

[jisungsmochi]

somebody to you - hrj

somebody to you - renjun

behold,, the FINAL part of my nct dream x the vamps songs series! leaving y’all with something really wholesome and fluffy bc i’m inlove with renjun 

word count: 2.8k 

summary: huang renjun didn’t like relationships. he thought they were messy, and honestly, a waste of time. he had his whole life ahead of him, so why would he need a significant other to be happy? that was all until he met you, and thought to himself, maybe it wouldn’t be all bad...

read the rest here! 

//

I used to wanna be

Living like there's only me

But now I spend my time

Thinking 'bout a way to get you off my mind

renjun scrolled through his endless instagram feed, swiping through threads of his friends with their girlfriends. he would be lying if he said it didn’t make him

borderline sick. he was always a realist, never really seeing the point of having a serious relationship at such a young age. in his life so far, he’d probably say he’s only had one girlfriend, and it was a random girl he asked to prom so he wouldn’t feel left out. renjun was never opposed to love, he just wasn’t actively seeking it.

“dude i reckon you’re gonna like her! she’s super cool from the sounds of it, and she goes to our university!” haechan insists as the four boys sat down for dinner in their shared apartment.

“i don’t need you to set me up on a blind date. i’m capable of finding someone on my own, thank you very much” renjun rolled his eyes, fed up with the continuous discussions of his single status.

“yeah, and how’s that going for you?” jaemin chimed in, causing jeno and haechan to chuckle in response. renjun just scoffed, shoving his mouth with more food to avoid speaking further.

“give it a chance. the worst that could happen is that you don’t vibe with her and you never talk to her again” jeno tries his best to convince the stubborn boy. renjun just shrugs, his mind contemplating the idea.

“okay fine, one date. if you guys really think she’s soo good for me, let’s see how accurate you guys are” renjun snickers. he was not confident in their matchmaking skills at all, but he loved seeing them fail.

“perfect, i’ll set it up for you. just sit back, relax and be your boring self” haechan grins, tapping away on his phone. renjun ignores the cheeky boy’s comments, finishing up his dinner. his first date in over two years, this should be good...

I used to be so tough

Never really gave enough

And then you caught my eye

Giving me the feeling of a lightning strike

renjun was regretting this date already. all he knew about you was your first name and your uni course, nothing else. the boys had refused to show him any photos of you, claiming that it would be more ‘romantic’ if he fell for you at first sight...what a cliche, he thought to himself.

“how will i even know it’s her, if i don’t know what she freaking looks like?” renjun groaned, nerves slowly building up as haechan pulled up to the date location.

“i’ll point her out, okay? just trust me” renjun let out a short sigh, hands slightly jittery. why the hell was he nervous? it wasn’t like he was going to see her after this one date.

as renjun stepped out of the car, his eyes scanned the scenery.

“jeez, you guys really went all out for this date” he was amazed by the view. it was a restaurant that was by the water, multiple little boats sailing across it and the sounds of birds humming.

“of course, you only deserve the best” haechan winked, eyes looking for renjun’s date.

“dude what if she doesn’t even show up. does she even know what i look like?” renjun was slightly panicking at this point, drifting from his tough exterior.

“haechan?” a soft voice interrupted his thoughts. renjun’s eyes diverted to the owner of the voice. he felt stunned by the sight of you, dressed neatly in some jeans and a flowery blouse. you had slightly curled your hair, hands clutching to your purse as you greeted the two boys infront of you.

“hey y/n, this is renjun, your date for tonight! see you kids later, don’t get up to anything crazy” haechan chuckled to himself, shoving renjun to meet you. renjun almost clashed into your smaller frame, catching you off guard. you gently held his arms, keeping a small distance between you both.

“o-oh my bad, i-i’m renjun” he stammered, eyes meeting yours. you were slightly blown away by his looks...he was really attractive. well done, haechan.

renjun would say the same about you. even though he didn’t have a particular type, (as he found it kind of dumb tbh) he believed you could fit it perfectly.

“i’m y/n! nice to meet you” you widely smiled, renjun returning your expression as he pulled out his hand for you to shake. maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

Look at me now, I'm falling

I can't even talk, still stuttering

This ground I'm on, it keeps shaking

you were currently trying to hold back your laughter as renjun recounted the story of how he caught jaemin with his girlfriend...doing the nasty, during their first week of university.

“oh my goodness! were you scarred for life?” you slammed your fist on the table, causing others around you to glare. but renjun couldn’t even focus on them, attention solely on you.

“of course! it was the first week! like couldn’t they have just waited until midterms?” renjun chuckled at the memory, proud of himself that he made you laugh so much. he must be doing something right.

“you’re really funny, renjun. some of the other guys that haechan tried to set me up with were lowkey boring. i guess he sees me as boring too��� you slightly frowned, watching as renjun piped up in his seat,

“y-you’re not boring at all! you’re funny! and pretty too” he muttered the last part, not wanting you to have heard. but you did. you decided not to linger on it much, afraid to make him too flustered.

“you’d be the first guy to say that” you shrugged, taking a small sip from your glass of water.

“have you had boyfriends in the past?” renjun suddenly asked, causing you to raise an eyebrow.

“i-uh i’ve had a few. nothing too serious though, how about you?” you curiously ask in return, watching as renjun looked down to his lap. he hesitated before answering,

“i’ve only had one girlfriend before. i’m not really an avid dater” renjun admits to you, hoping that you didn’t find him lame.

“oh neither am i! we have another thing in common! i feel like relationships can get really difficult to manage, especially if you aren’t in the right headspace, you know?” you started rambling, renjun stringing along to your every word. he found such beauty in the way you articulated your words. he was so entranced he almost forgot to respond.

“i totally understand how you feel, i’ve always thought that i should live my life to the fullest before i consider settling down” he commented, causing you to nod along. you really liked his answers, it seemed like you were both on the same page about relationships. you didn’t expect to enjoy his company this much, initially agreeing to go on the date so that haechan would stop teasing you for not having a boyfriend in uni yet.

you walked alongside renjun, waiting for your roommate to pick you up.

“i had a really good time tonight, renjun. thankyou” you kindly complimented, causing renjun to become more shy (if that was even possible).

“no thankyou! there were times i felt kind of awkward, but you really know how to carry a conversation” he smiled, watching as you started to get shy.

“are you flirting with me, huang renjun?” you teased, nudging his arm gently.

“so what if i am?” he nudged you back,

“well i don’t think i’d want you to stop” you smirked. before renjun could say anything back, your heard the familiar voice of your roommate urging you to get in her car.

“oh that’s my ride. i have to get going. this was nice, i’ll see you around renjun!” you hurriedly embraced the boy, placing a gentle peck to his cheek before rushing to your roommate’s car.

renjun still didn’t say anything back to you, his body frozen from your touch.

‘no no no’ he thought to himself...he was falling for her.

All I wanna be, yeah, all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah

Is somebody to you

Everybody's tryna be a billionaire

But every time I look at you, I just don't care

“so are you gonna tell us about the date or do we have to call and ask her instead?” haechan teased as the rest of the boys sat in their living room. renjun has a book in his hands, wanting nothing more than peace and quiet after his long night.

“gosh, will you let me finish this chapter?” renjun huffed, causing jaemin and jeno to snicker. haechan pulled out his phone, holding it to renjun’s face,

“oh would you look at that? it would be a shame for my finger to slip and dial y/n” before he could continue, renjun hurriedly tossed his book to the side, tackling the pestering boy onto the ground, holding him down firmly.

“holy shit, did you get stronger?“ haechan could barely speak, still in shock from the sudden attack. renjun slowly leans back, letting out a tired sigh.

“you two are ridiculous, let’s cut to the chase, did you like her or not?” jaemin rolled his eyes, ready to hear all the tea.

renjun looked from side to side, not liking all the attention that was on him.

“i-she was really cool. honestly yeah, i did like her. but i don’t think she’s looking for anything too serious at the moment” renjun shook his head, thinking back to your heated discussion about relationships.

“okay that sounds like a cop out excuse. i think you’re just scared” jeno chimed in, the two other boys nodding along. renjun glared at them, trying his best to maintain his composure.

“yeah, i mean, did anything happen aside from good conversation?” jaemin continued to push, renjun now becoming more reserved. of course he trusted his friends, but they never really openly spoke about their feelings like this, it was quite new to all of them.

“she kissed me on the cheek before she left, does that mean something?” renjun muttered, watching as haechan tips himself over, now laying on the ground.

“you’re an idiot, must we spell it out for you? she’s totally into you as well” jeno groaned in frustration.

truth was, renjun wasn’t sure how to properly ask someone out, nonetheless be in a proper relationship with them. he was in desperate need of help...but all he had were his three idiot friends.

“i know i don’t know her well and all, but after she left, i couldn’t stop thinking about her. is this what it’s like to fall for someone? oh god...i’m falling” renjun started rambling to himself, jaemin and jeno now rested against him, shoulder touching either of his.

“the answer is pretty clear, man. go for a second date! make the move, she might be thinking the exact same thing” jeno shrugged, trying his best to advise his friend, the best he could. renjun bidded, actually agreeing with jeno for once.

suddenly, renjun felt his phone ringing. he immediately picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

as if you were listening in on their conversation, your voice rang through renjun’s ear.

“hello? is this renjun?” you nervously stammered, waiting for a response. renjun was completely frozen, his mouth hung wide as jeno pressed his own ear closer to the phone.

“y-yes this is him” renjun finally spat out, hands slightly shaking.

“oh great, this is probably coming as a surprise to you. but i uh, wanted to know if you’d be interested in going on another date” you were able to finish, heart racing as you held the phone tightly. renjun felt his heart stop after your words, jeno shaking him gently to snap out of his daze.

“o-oh yeah, i’d be really interested” renjun replies, mentally face palming himself for sounding a little too eager.

“amazing, i’ll keep in touch” you smiled to yourself, trying your best to contain your excitement. eventually you hung up, screaming into your pillow, kicking your feet up and down. was this how it felt to actually like someone?

“there’s your chance, don’t blow it!” haechan teased, throwing a cushion over to renjun who was still frozen well after the call had ended.

‘holy shit’ he mumbled.

//

the date you had planned for renjun, involved attending the local food markets they held once a month. you thought it would be a social enough setting for conversation to not get too awkward, as well as enjoy a variety of food. renjun met you at the bus stop, dressed in baggy jeans and a blue wind runner jacket. his hair was slightly styled, some strands gelled back. it really accentuated his facial features, making you admire him even more than you did before.

“you look really good today, i mean, not like you don’t look good everyday i’m sure you do..” you shook your head at your rambling, wanting nothing more but for him to laugh it off. renjun just smirked at you, planning another witty comment to respond,

“not as good as you though” he gently guided you to walk with him, his hand travelling to the small of your back. you slightly froze at the contact, but aimlessly followed him. he surely had his way with words.

as you both tasted some amazing food, renjun found him standing quite close to you. if you were trying a sample, he would stand behind you, his chest touching your back occasionally. it seemed really natural to him, and you didn’t mind it at all. he would often touch your shoulder gently to grab your attention, or pull you along by your waist. it gave you massive butterflies that you could shake off.

“did you want to start heading home? we can walk to the bus stop together” renjun offered kindly, his arm wrapped around your shoulder as you slowly made your way out of the large crowd. just as you were about to respond, rain started sprinkling from the sky. renjun quickly moved you to stand under some shelter as the rain came pouring.

“how the hell are we meant to walk in this?” you half shouted, clutching onto renjun’s side. he couldn’t bear moving you away from him,

“let’s just run, we can’t wait for it to pass” he suddenly took your hand, pulling you along as he bolted to the nearest bus stop.

“you’re so crazy, renjun!” you shout at the boy, giggling at the entire situation. before you knew it, renjun span you around, pulling you close to his chest.

“the only thing i’m crazy about is you” he confessed, catching you completely off guard. he had a habit of making such flirty comments, but this time you felt he wasn’t trying to joke around.

“w-what?” rain was washing over the both of you, your clothes completely soaked at this point.

“i really like you, y/n. i really freaking do. i didn’t want to admit it at first because i was scared of the idea of dating. but i want to be with you. i want to be somebody to you. everyone is out here trying to settle down and start their lives, but i feel like with you we can go at a steady pace. i don’t want to rush things, incase it gets messy, and difficult. but i just needed you to know that i really like you, and i hope it’s not all in my head that you like me back” renjun firmly confessed to you, eyes never leaving yours. you slowly raised your hand to wipe some rain drops off his face, watching as he smiled into your touch. he held you tightly in his arms, awaiting your response.

“renjun, i think i made it really clear that i like you back. i was also nervous about how you’d react, considering you weren’t really looking for anything serious at first. i think we should give it a shot, we can worry about all the stress and possible fights later on. all i know is that right now, you’re the only person i want to be standing in the rain with. now can you please kiss me?” you couldn’t contain your smile as renjun leaned into you. his lips pressing gently against yours. your fingers now running through his wet hair as he held your waist firmly. the kiss started getting deeper, the atmosphere really playing into the romantic nature of it all. eventually you both pulled away, foreheads presses against eachother, softly giggling.

that was the beginning of your relationship with renjun. despite having ups and downs (as expected) you both persevered and tried your absolute hardest to make things work. renjun finally admitted to himself: falling inlove wasn’t so bad...especially when it was with the right person.

[sarah-sandwich]

"I need a hug" please and thank you!

Hi friend! Here it is! Remind me to never commit to a fic a day for an entire week again lmao

Happy last day of National Storyteller Week to everyone who creates or consumes stories! Jump over to my ao3 for 5 ridiculous parkner fics 👌✨💛

Peter, no

He probably should have clued in sooner, a lot sooner.

Him and Peter have been attached at the hip for three years, ever since Peter ran into the lab in the middle of a video call with Tony, shouted something about an arm-wrestling tournament with the Avengers, and begged, “You gotta come trash talk them for me! Please, Mr. Stark! No one roasts as good as you!” Then, after receiving Tony’s resigned agreement, exclaimed, “I’m gonna dislocate Captain America’s shoulder!” turned tail and sprinted back out, ignoring Tony’s, “Peter, no!”

It was over in under a minute but he was bewitched.

“Who was that? And why haven’t I met him?”

“I’ve been avoiding this day,” Tony said in a world-weary tone. “You’re either going to hate each other or get on like a house fire. Either way, I’ll never know peace again.”

In usual Tony Stark fashion, he was right.

He thought he’d seen every side of Peter there is. He’s seen him soft and sleepy under the blue glow of the television. He’s seen him wired and manic as he pursues a project on little to no sleep. He’s seen him broken and bleeding in more ways than he cares to count. He’s seen him laughing until he cries, crying so hard the only thing he can do is cry with him, too exhausted to feed himself, too angry to speak, and he’s been there when he’s on the cusp of dropping dead from embarrassment (usually pointing and laughing but hey, somebody’s gotta keep him humble).

He knows him like he knows his sister, like he knows his mom, like he knows himself.

His point is, it shouldn’t have taken this camping trip to put the pieces together. Realization shouldn’t have hit him like a log to the face when Peter rolled up the sleeves of his borrowed flannel and suddenly he couldn’t breathe for wanting to kiss him stupid.

Well, stupider.

A moment later, Peter picked up the bag of tent poles like they weighed nothing and somehow managed to dump them all over the side of the road like a can of pick-up-sticks.

It’s gonna be a long weekend.

~*~

“What’s this thing for again?” Peter asks, raising his arms high over his head to hold up the long swath of fabric two times his height.

“It’s a rain fly, Peter. It keeps out the rain.”

“It’s not supposed to rain. Trust me, Aunt May checked the weather like 50 times before she would let me leave.”

“We still need it.”

“But why? We could sleep under the stars.”

“It traps in heat.”

“Sounds like another tally in the cons column. It’s hot as fuck, dude.”

“Not tonight it won’t be. Temperature fluctuates a lot in the mountains, especially when the sun goes down.”

“Temperature fluctuates in the mountains,” Peter repeats mockingly.

Harley stops what he’s doing. “If you really wanna sleep under the stars I don’t have to share my tent. Enjoy the skeeters.”

“You love me too much to leave me to sleep with the wildlife,” Peter says, voice muffled from under the rain fly as he attempts to drape it over the erected tent.

His heart skips. Does he know? Has he been that obvious even while oblivious to his own feelings? Did Peter figure it out before he did? Has he been graciously not saying anything about his huge undeniable crush while��

Peter squawks and tumbles forward, the tent collapsing under him with a snap that echoes through the trees. The rain fly flutters over him like a burial shroud.

“Please tell me whatever just broke was a part of you.”

“Uhh, sorry.”

He sighs. He’s in love with an idiot.

~*~

The tent leans a little to the left when they’re done with it but he’s pretty sure it’ll hold up through the night. Just in case, they limit how often they go in and out of it (which, in his opinion, is the way it should be done regardless).

A breeze rustles the trees, scattering pine needles as birds chitter and small unseen wildlife scurries around the underbrush. He breathes in deep, savoring the scent of dirt, pine, and fresh air. He’s been in the city far too long.

Peter stands with his hands on his hips, dirt crusted on the knees of his jeans, his borrowed flannel pulling tight across his chest as he watches a puffy white cloud scoot by with a befuddled expression.

He turns to Harley. “So umm, now what?”

He shrugs. “Whatever you want. You’re the one who’s never done this before?”

Peter stares at him blankly.

“Right. Forgot who I was talking to.” He shakes his head and walks over to the car with a sigh. “This way, city boy. It’s time you learned to fish.”

“Sounds smelly.”

“Mmm.” He pops the trunk and pulls out two fishing rods—one old and dinged up, the other brand-spankin-new—and he passes them to Peter so he can grab the tackle box and a white plastic bucket with a lid on it.

“And slimy,” Peter continues, wrinkling his nose at the bold ‘WORMS’ printed on the side of the white bucket.

“That it is, but there aren’t any rats and no one has pissed on the place you need to sit so it’s automatically better than anything the city has to offer.”

“We’ll see about that,” Peter grumbles.

~*~

“Y’know,” Harley drawls lazily, eyes half-lidded as he watches Peter jump from rock to rock along the shoreline, “usually when people are lookin’ to catch a fish they cast their line into the water rather than leavin’ it on the ground.”

“Oh is that how it’s done? I had no idea,” Peter says, stooping down to peer into a small pool sequestered away from the rest of the body of water. “What do tadpoles look like?”

“Uh, little squirmy guys.”

“Very descriptive, thank you.”

“Mhmm. Anytime, darlin’.”

Peter looks up at him, eyes narrowed and he jolts under the sudden scrutiny.

“What?” he asks. He always calls him darling. It’s just a thing he says—a southern thing. So what if over the years he’s stopped using the name for anyone else? It doesn’t mean anything. It’s not weird.

“Are you falling asleep?” Peter asks.

“Pfft, no,” he says. The sun is deliciously warm, seeping into his skin and turning his bones to butter as the katydids buzz and birds sing. A warm breeze ruffs his hair and he finds himself blinking slowly.

“Dude, you’re totally falling asleep.” Peter grins playfully and hopscotches across the rocks back to him as he teases, “You know, usually when someone wants to catch a fish, they do it while they’re awake.”

“I am awake, dummy.”

“Not for much longer.” He comes to a stop at his side and tweaks the brim of his hat. “Look at you. You’re like an old man falling asleep in his recliner in front of the big game.”

“Napping is a perfectly respectable part of fishing,” he argues.

Peter throws back his head and laughs. Backed by blue sky and thickly forested mountain, sunlit from above, he’s never looked better.

Should he tell him? Is now the time? He can’t imagine living like this—knowing how he feels but bottling it up and keeping it a secret from his best friend.

Then again—

His fishing rod dips and he sits up with a start, hands already moving for the reel.

“Woah, is that a fish?” Peter exclaims, peering into the lake.

“Sure hope so. Can’t imagine what else it’d—,”

“Can I pull it in?” Peter asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet like an excitable puppy.

“No, you if wanna get a fish you have to put in the work.”

“What work? Laying around half-asleep?”

“Yeah, exactly. I’ll let you take it off the line, how ‘bout that?”

“Eh, that’s okay. I’m good.”

He wrestles the fish out of the lake, a bass about two hands long, and then holds the flopping fish, hooked through the lip, out to Peter.

“There you go. Just pop that puppy off the hook and toss ‘im back in.”

“Wait, you don’t even keep the fish?”

“What would I do with a fish?”

“…eat it?”

“That’s a whole song and dance I ain’t got the tools or the patience for. Just grab the fish, Pete. Preferably before it suffocates.”

Peter makes an unhappy sound in his throat but reaches for the fish. Just as his fingers brush the scales, the fish gives a mighty wiggle and Peter flinches back towards the lake.

“Eep!” Peter squeaks and goes into the water with a splash.

Harley hunches over, laughing his head off as Peter sits up, water streaming down his face and dripping from his hair.

“I hate you.” Slipping and sliding in the muck, he makes his way through the mid-thigh deep water, back to dry land, and then keeps walking past Harley and up the hill to the trail that will lead him back to camp.

All the while Harley laughs and laughs, taking a moment to free the fish back into the lake before he sits down and tips his face to the sun, chuckling and committing to memory the way Peter’s soaked jeans and flannel clung all over his body.

~*~

“I still don’t see why—,”

“Shush,” Peter snaps, frowning in concentration over the tiny flame he’s been babying to life for the past fifteen minutes.

He sighs. He tried to convince him to wait until supper for a campfire meal but Mr. Eager Beaver insisted on trying his hand at it now. Had they made sandwiches they’d be done by now and could be hiking. But no. Peter wants to play Boy Scout so they’re going to sit here and starve until he gets a fire built just to spend five minutes roasting hot dogs and then have to put it out again.

To make matters worse, Peter’s no longer wearing his shirt since it got soaked in the lake. He’d gotten attached to how he looks in his clothes. Now he’s wearing on one of his standard nerd-pun tees and a wrinkly pair of khaki cargo shorts and he’s going to have to convince him to at least put on long socks before they hike or he’s going to risk getting poison ivy or poison oak all over his calves and ankles.

“There it goes! There it goes!” Peter exclaims, sitting up tall and motioning at him to look at the little flame as it eats up the pile of twigs and tinder.

“Very good, dear,” he says dryly. “Now see if you can keep it going with some real wood.”

Peter cocks his head at him. “Was that a double-entendre?”

“Why on earth would I imply that we should put a part of my human anatomy in the fire, Peter?”

“I don’t know,” he murmurs, squatting beside the fire as he breaks up a stick. “Dick jokes are funny.”

“You’re a child.”

“And yet you— Shit!” He flinches back from the fire and falls on his backside.

He comes alert with a spike of adrenaline, rushing forward to— to— pat out flames with his bare hands? He doesn’t know. “What happened?” he demands, checking Peter over for damage and finding nothing, not a burn or singe in sight.

Still sprawled on the ground, Peter looks up at him through his eyelashes with an embarrassed grimace. “I don’t want to say.”

“But you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” he sits up cross-legged and rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

He stares down at him as he looks down in his lap. “You’re really not going to tell me what just happened? I already saw you fall in a lake because you were scared of a fish. It can’t be worse than that.”

Peter looks up, neck crimped and mouth screwed into an unhappy pucker. “I thought something was on me but it was just the grass.”

Harley stares. “So, you thought a bug was on you.”

“Yeah. I’m starting to think I’m not cut out for this place.”

What has he gotten himself into?

~*~

Peter hasn’t stopped chattering about everything under the sun since they left camp. And considering where they are, there’s a lot to chatter about. From bugs to birds to types of trees and identifying clouds, he’s heard it all. It’s why he’s not paying attention to the path like he should, too busy watching the way Peter waves his hands animatedly as he rambles, the way the sun lights his eyes and makes his hair shine, the way his lips shape the words.

He hasn’t taken in a word he’s said for the past twenty minutes but he’s watched him with rapt attention while his mind churns through his options. He’s not one to ignore something once he knows about it. He doesn’t want to keep this a secret. There’s no reason to. It’s nothing shameful and if Peter doesn’t reciprocate then… well, nothing changes, right? He’s fine with that. Best friends is still good. Great, even.

But if Peter does reciprocate…

His breathing quickens at the thought. How did he not notice this ridiculous crush sooner? It’s like something has been awakened inside him and now it refuses to shut up and go back to sleep. He gravitates towards Peter like an orbiting moon. He’s a moth to Peter’s beam of light. Helpless under the thrall.

Peter suddenly looks right at him. “—you know what I mean?”

“Huh?” His foot lands wrong and rolls over a root. His ankle screams out and then he’s dropping as it gives out.

“Woah!” Peter catches him, one arm around his back and the other fisted into his shirt at his shoulder. His brain goes offline, only processing the way Peter is pressed against him, the way his face is angled over him like he’s on the verge of dipping him into a kiss, the way neither of them moves or speaks, staring instead with startled realization.

He thinks he imagines it when Peter’s eyes dilate but then they fix on his lips and there’s no way he’s imagining that.

Lights flash in his head and he forgets to breathe as they hang suspended in time.

Then Peter bites his lip and his cheeks flush dark pink as he yanks Harley upright.

He stumbles, unprepared, and his ankle gives out a second time.

Peter catches him by the elbows babbling, “Oh my God, I’m sorry! Are you okay? I didn’t mean to—,”

“I’m fine. I…” The rest of the sentence vanishes from his tongue as he looks into Peter’s eyes. He loves his eyes—warm and affectionate, they always give him away. Whether they’re bright with curiosity, sparkling with delight, wide with embarrassment, or narrowed in anger, he’s an open book. That’s why the look in his eyes now gives him pause. He’s never seen it before—or maybe it’s been there all along but he hasn’t noticed until now.

They’re dark and focused like he’s seeing through him into his soul and likes what he sees so much he wants to eat him alive.

His heart thunders as he lifts a hand to Peter’s cheek. This is it. This is the moment he tells him and finds out where they’re going to go next.

Peter’s eyes go wide and he swallows thickly, but then his gaze shifts beyond him and he freezes except to carefully grab his forearm in a too-tight grip.

“Bear,” Peter breathes.

His awareness of their surrounding returns so suddenly it hurts. Birds sing, bugs buzz and chirp, somewhere nearby a creek burbles, and behind him on the path, something scuffs the ground and then snorts and sniffs harshly.

“No,” he says quietly. No, he refuses to allow this to be his reality. This cannot be happening. He won’t allow this to happen.

“Harley, bear,” Peter repeats, grip tightening.

Oh my God, this is happening.

“Don’t run,” he says in an undertone. “You’re not supposed to run.”

“We gotta run.”

“Peter, no.”

“Harley, there’s a fucking bear.”

“Listen to me—,”

“I’m gonna grab you—,”

“—we gotta stay still and—,”

“I’ll carry you and—,”

“—non-threatening so—,”

“I’m going to get you up a tree and then—,”

“—it won’t chase us.”

“—the bear will chase me.”

“Peter—,”

“It’ll be fine.”

“—no.”

~*~

He waits in the tree for over an hour, ankle throbbing, sick to his stomach with worry, wondering if he’ll ever see the idiot he stupidly fell in love with ever again. Even if he didn’t get eaten by the bear, he’s no good out here in the woods. He could be lost. He could be too hurt to move. He could be—

—covered in what smells like animal shit and standing balefully at the base of the tree.

“I need a hug,” Peter says, voice small.

“Did you—,”

“I did what needed to be done.”

“So that’s—,”

“Don’t say it. Do you need help getting down?”

“I’ll figure it out. Don’t touch me.”

“That’s fair. I’ll be in the lake. Will you bring me all of the soap and soap-like products we own?”

“Yeah. Gimme a minute.”

“Thanks, Harley.”

“Peter?”

“Yeah?”

I love you. I’m glad you’re not dead. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t come back. My life wouldn’t be the same without you in it. You’re everything I want.

“You’re an idiot,” he says.

Peter nods. “Yeah.”

~*~

“Black bears can run 35 miles per hour,” he says conversationally. They’re sprawled on a blanket while the fire crackles nearby (but not too close, they’ve had enough disasters for one day). His foot is propped on the tackle box, elevating his ankle and Peter is beside him, flat on his back staring up at the stars through the trees, close enough that their arms brush.

“Trust me, I know.”

“They can also climb trees,” he continues reading from his phone. “You should never climb a tree to avoid a bear.”

“Harley—,”

“If a bear notices you, stay calm. Most bears don’t want to attack you.”

“Dude, I get it.”

“Move away slowly and sideways. Do not run. Do not climb a tree.”

Peter snatches the phone out of his hands and sits up. “I panicked, okay? I can’t lose you! I had to get you out of there.”

He goes still, the crackling of the fire and the crickets the only sound in the night.

“Say again?”

“Don’t,” Peter says harshly, still holding his phone far out of reach. “Don’t make fun of me about this one. You don’t get it, okay?”

This isn’t how he expected this to happen. Hyper aware of his heart beating in his chest, he asks, “What don’t I get?”

“I was terrified.”

“And you think I wasn’t?”

“Not in the way I was. I was— It was like— It was like if anything happened to you, nothing would be okay ever again. I don’t—,” He pulls in a deep breath, chest heaving as his eyes shine uncommonly bright in the firelight. “I don’t know. You’re— Ever since we met things have just felt right and good in a way they hadn’t before and I’ve already lost so many people and then you were in danger and I couldn’t do nothing. I couldn’t.”

“Okay,” he says gently, sitting upright and scooting over on the blanket. “Okay.” He takes the phone and sets it aside then takes Peter’s hand in both of his. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m okay.”

“I think I’m in love with you,” Peter says miserably, sniffing and wiping his eyes with the back of his free hand. “I think I have been for a long time.”

“Well, that’s lucky because I think I’m in love with you too.”

“You— What?”

“Mhmm. Since at least this morning.”

Peter stares at him. His lips twitch. “This morning? For real? Are you teasing me?”

“A hundred percent serious. It hit me right before you dumped my tent poles all over 36th street. Unrelated, you should wear my clothes more often.” He pauses and then says, “I think today was the universe asking me if I was sure I wanted to be tied down to your dumb ass for the rest of forever.”

“And?” Peter asks, eyes wide in the firelight.

“Yeah,” he says, smoothing a curl away from his forehead. “I’m sure.”

Peter leans in and kisses him, soft and quick. “Is that okay?”

Heart in his mouth, he says, “I think you can do better.”

Peter laughs and smooths his thumb over his cheekbone. “I love you.”

“I love you too, darlin’.”

[chat-noir-always-here]

“Hey Arnold!” and “Miraculous!” parallels

Ever have an idea for a post that you take forever to get around to because 2020 is 

actively 

trying

to kill you?!

 Welp, that’s me. I mean, uh, this is that post.

Long post is long and I don’t like cuts cuz I’ve lost a few posts in the past using them. Please filter the tag “long post” I use it for walls of text like these.

So there’s this show from my childhood called Hey Arnold! 

Having been on air before I had cable (I and my unsupervised brothers and sisters spent our childhood watching Jerry Springer and Maury because there was literally nothing else on our cheap little TV. How hilarious is that?) I didn’t really have much of an experience with Hey Arnold! aside from brief little glances at it when i visited a friends home or the rare occasion where they showed cartoons at school. By the time I got satellite, the show was no longer on the air save for some late night reruns and the Christmas special which aired in December along with other Nickelodeon Christmas episodes (THE best Christmas episode EVER btw).

Really I couldn’t remember much about it until hearing about the Jungle Movie finally getting a release date (a total flop but at least its no cliff hanger) and decided to re-watch the entire series in preparation for said movie.

By which point I had discovered another show—Miraculous. 

At first glance the two shows have absolutely nothing in common. Miraculous being a French-born mahou shoujo-esque CGI superhero TV series about a couple of middle schoolers who regularly battle a walking peppermint-frappucino-looking psychopath. Hey Arnold! being a more realistic children’s sitcom about a young football-headed boy who deals out humanitarian aid in the form of advice and simple good deeds to his neighbors, classmates and friends. 

In terms of setting, logic, and animation the two series are as different as night and day.

So imagine my pleasant surprise to discover a whole post’s worth of parallels shared between the two shows???

And here they are in no particular order:

1)Arnold’s Parents/Adrien’s mom

Prior to the start of Miraculous, Emilie Agreste disappeared under mysterious circumstances leaving her family behind. Later on it was revealed that she was in fact sleeping (dead?) in a glass coffin beneath the Agreste mansion--unbeknownst to Adrien, or anyone else in Paris save for Gabriel and Nathalie.

In a similar fashion, Arnold’s parents, Miles and Stella, also disappeared prior to the start of Hey Arnold! and like Emilie were always referred to as “missing” rather than “dead.” 

The Jungle Movie later revealed Miles and Stella weren’t dead, but like Emilie appears to be doing in her coffin, they were sleeping. Having caught a bout of sleeping sickness (apparently they do not need to be hooked up to IVs or other medical devices while in a comatose state cuz fuck logic) they simply needed their orphaned son to come and cure them with the help of the magical golden heart Helga provided him with.

Perhaps Mari holds the key to waking Emilie? That would be nice to see. 

Not the miraculous of course--but some other key.

Although personally I’m hoping for a hardcore, devastating ending like Emilie dying, Gabriel going to prison where he belongs, and Adrien leaving the country for a bit until the second Hawk Moth shows up because I just like devastating cliffhangers and angst and being in utter turmoil over fictional people. But that’s just me.

2) Their best friends are dating

Smol parallel here: Arnold’s best friend Gerald and Helga’s Best friend Phoebe wind up together in The Jungle Movie after being imprisoned together by Lasombra. Similar to how Nino and Alya ended up together after being imprisoned by Ladybug (for their protection, of course).

3) The Bag of Money Episode/ The Ladybug episode

OOh boy both of these episodes make me rage. 

Some context about the Bag of Money episode: Arnold and his friends Gerald and Sid find a random bag of money containing almost $4000. Sid is ecstatic and wants to split the money evenly between the three boys, but Arnold worries it could just be lost and convinces them to let him, Arnold, take the money to the police station. On the way he accidentally switches the bag with another one that is identical and contains a bunch of useless junk, and when he tries to explain what happened to his friends they don’t believe him because their bag of money was accidentally taken by an “old lady with pink hair and a peg leg.”

 Arnold’s a good boy and he’s telling the truth--but the truth sounds crazy, even to my ears. Sid accuses Arnold of stealing the money and spreads lies to their classmates, whom Arnold has spent the ENTIRE SERIES helping in some form or fashion. Despite everything he’s done for them though, the vast majority of the class come to believe Arnold is a thief. Even Gerald, Arnold’s closest friend, nearly believes Sid over Arnold but eventually comes to Arnold’s defense. The other kids (save for Helga who doesn’t really make an appearance this episode) gang up on Arnold, but thankfully the old lady with pink hair and a peg leg shows up with an officer and together they explain the bag of money is now at the lost and found where it will remain and if gone unclaimed will be returned to Arnold, Gerald and Sid. 

Pretty much everything is resolved and things return to normal between the kids. 

But I hate this episode. I hate this episode so, so much. Arnold has spent the entire series helping these people out in some form or fashion. Literally thats the entire show. And after everything he’s done for them they’re so. Quick. To. Turn. On. Him. 

Sound familiar???

4) Hidden Personality                   vs.          Surface Personality

 I do not refer to the cruddy “true selves” thing half the Miraculous fandom believes in. Depending on one’s individual circumstances, environment and how comfortable they are, said person’s behavior can fluctuate or even do a complete 180. This can be kinda frustrating when dealing on one’s own--”Who am I anyway? Is that me or is this me???”

It’s all you, fam.

Arnold and Helga are themselves too, no matter what metaphorical/actual mask they put on. There’s the side that everyone sees and then there’s the side almost no one sees. The hidden personality isn’t hidden due to a lack of trust, necessarily, but rather it is the result of retreating to their respective “shells”--ones which both Arnold and Helga were kinda punched, kicked, and shoved into. 

Helga’s surface personality: Class bully, puts up a tough front, constantly torments Arnold because she can’t stand him and his niceness

Helga’s hidden personality: Poetic, abused and isolated, is in love with Arnold to the point of being obsessed with him and bullies him via surface personality in order to hide that fact

Of course Adrien is no bully--his reasons for not being the “cunning, funny, ultra-charming Chat Noir” 24/7 DOES have a lot to do with his toxic household, his dad, and the overwhelming expectations which are constantly smothering him as Adrien. 

Adrien is a bug under a magnifying glass (or so he feels)

Chat Noir is a chance for a freedom.

 Adrien’s surface personality was molded by his dad.

 Helga’s is the result of her entire family. Her father is brash and loud, her mother is a confirmed alcoholic, her sister is a gifted prodigy, well-rounded and spends most of the series at university or elsewhere. Although her sister, Olga, has been shown to genuinely care for Helga, Olga is kinda the reason their parents neglect Helga. With their first daughter being the genius and prodigy she is, Helga’s parents poured all of their pride and affection and parental devotion onto her. Meanwhile Helga had to walk to pre-school alone. At four years old. In the rain. Not for the last time. 

Which leads me to the next parallel.

5) Umbrella in the Rain

squeals in delight over this parallel<3<3<3

If you’ve never seen Hey Arnold! do yourselves a favor and watch this short little clip over how Helga and Arnold first met. If you have seen it, watch it anyway because it is the most adorable clip in the entire show.

Dr. Bliss: “So nobody’s ever noticed you?”

Helga: “...There was someone.”

The soft way Helga confesses that--you can actually hear how grateful she is to have such a tender memory from such a painful time. 

 In a similar manner, Adrien offered his umbrella to Marinette. Of course Adrien did it because Mari had to walk home in the rain and Arnold did it as a simple gesture of kindness (seeing as they were already at the school)--one of the many kind acts he displays throughout the series. 

 But just like Adrien needed unconditional love coming from somewhere, so did Helga. They were both denied this one common necessity which everyone else around them had. It’s not a lot to ask for, and they should’ve already had it coming from their families--but they didn’t.

 And then, one rainy day, there it was--the unconditional love they needed.

6) Clinginess

What happens when you take someone, specifically a love-starved abused child from an unstable home environment--deprived of the one thing most crucial to their mental well-being--and miraculously provide them with that very necessity? 

Clinginess. 

I can’t really think of the correct word to describe this. “Clinginess” is pretty close to what I’m trying to describe, if not on point, so let’s go with that. 

 What I mean is Helga and Adrien both need Arnold and Ladybug respectively. That’s not a bad thing--it’s okay to need somebody else. What’s bad is hinging your entire being on this one connection. For if either kiddo were to be left behind they wouldn’t handle it very well.

 It can’t really be helped with either Helga or Adrien. They didn’t really have the option to learn certain things and went deprived of unconditional love for such a long time. They’re kids--nine and fourteen/fifteen respectively. They’re not perfect and they’re traumatized for life. Being denied love from your family--the very people designed to love you--would do that to a person. Naturally they would cling to the first people to show up and provide them with the love they needed. 

 The Hey Arnold! wiki says this about Helga and Arnold’s relationship

Due to her unstable family upbringing where both her mother and father constantly neglect [Helga] and shower all of their attention onto Olga, leaving her deprived of the love and attention she needed growing up. On her way to preschool, Arnold helped her by keeping the rain off her with an umbrella and even complimented her on her hairbow. He even later gave her crackers during their snack time. Arnold's kindness and being the first person to notice her quickly caused Helga to transfer all of her love and attention to Arnold.

Of course Adrien’s tunnel vision isn’t quite as bad as Helga’s.

 He treats his friends better.

 He does love his father--

Even though his father is THE. 

WORST.

 PARENT.

 EVER!!!

--because he’s Adrien and he’s just too precious a cinnamon roll and that’s still his dad even if the man does belong behind bars.

7) Unhealthy Obsession

I--

I...

Ugh. I am not going to delve too far into this. You’re just going to have to take my word for it. Helga’s creepy stalker behavior is a thousand times worse than Marinette’s. That pic up there of Helga hiding out in Arnold’s room watching him is pretty decent evidence to back up my argument, but it’s hardly the only example or even the worst incident.

 Honestly I’m amazed at what Nicktoons were able to get away with in the late nineties/early 2000s. 

But yes, Helga’s obsession with Arnold is rather unhealthy in the most extreme moments leading her to display behavior which is more often than not disturbing and concerning. 

The Hey Arnold! wiki has this to say about Helga’s obsession with Arnold

Helga is possessive of her love for Arnold and thinks non-stop about him to the point of obsession. This is evidenced throughout the series by the many shrines and poems she makes of Arnold and of her frequent dramatic soliloquies about her love for Arnold.

Again--Mari isn’t as bad as all that. She’s a sweet girl with many healthy relationships in her life. She has ambition, creativity, and drive. But yeah she can be rather possessive of Adrien too, and that needs to stop. Like right now. Adrien doesn’t need another girl being possessive of him and thinking he’s perfect--he needs someone who acknowledges him as a flawed person and loves him despite that. 

As for Helga and Arnold--show creator Craig Bartlett confirmed they are “made for each other” and wind up married with three kids, so I’m guessing Helga grew out of some of these bad habits? Or at least I hope so...

8) Helper/Humanitarian tendencies

As mentioned before, the plot of Hey Arnold! is more or less about Arnold helping people. As stated by Gerald in The Jungle Movie, “He’s a humanitarian! Like his parents!” Of course not every episode is about Arnold helping people. There are episodes devoted to supporting characters and they’re just as enjoyable and satisfying. 

 But as he is the titular character he spends a lot of time in the spotlight. 

Remember that “best christmas special EVER” episode I mentioned before?

 The reason it’s the best special, in my less than humble opinion, is due to a few things.

 The special is not about Santa Claws. In fact, I don’t think he’s even mentioned, let alone shown and treated like an actual living character.

The focus on the entire episode is again on Arnold helping someone, but he doesn’t succeed. Not really.

The one who succeeded in helping someone was Helga, who accomplished the goal Arnold had set out to do. 

The episode deals with some rather dark subject matter and is actually quite heartwarming as the “perfect present” Arnold was trying to provide someone with wasn’t something you can buy in the store

It’s also one of the episodes where Helga’s love for Arnold leaves her to do good and as her love for him is a secret, she expects nothing in return. She’s just happy to help him.

 Kinda similar to Mari who is, as Adrien puts it in Mayura, “Our every day Ladybug.” Her kindness and devotion to helping others is what drives her as Ladybug and Marinette. It’s what brought Ivan and Mylene together. Is the reason Nathaniel and Mark now have a comic book together. And at the end of the day, that’s the reason for her strange behavior around Adrien--she wants to help him. Even if it’s just as a “good friend.” 

9) There are two main characters

Although Hey Arnold! is technically a show about Arnold, one could argue it is just as much Helga’s story. 

Similarly, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir is named thusly in order to convey the fact that Adrien is just as much a main character as Marinette is. 

Although I must say Hey Arnold! did a much better job of giving it’s co-character their dues. GIVE. ME. MORE. CHAT NOIR. FOCUSED. EPISODES. DAMMIT.

But, yes, in terms of screen time, Helga gets about as much as Arnold does. Her story and struggles were given just as much importance as Arnold’s and many people have even come to believe that the show is really about Helga. I’d say its about both of them.

10) Constantly bumping into each other

Granted this happens between Arnold and Helga more often than it does to the love square dorks. 

 But yes the two people meant to be together keep knocking into each other in their respective universes. 

 I forget who, but I remember reading that someone a while back theorized that this was the universe’s way of trying to push Arnold and Helga together. Kinda like the “Now kiss!” meme

Perhaps it’s the same for Adrien and Marinette? 

;)

[indigobackfire]

HPHM OC Profile ✧

Phoenix Nobleworth

" You're like a poisonous flower, Phoenix. Beautiful and inviting with all your colors and aromas and deadly force. "

Full Name: Phoenix Lazar Nobleworth Silverwood

Nicknames: Pheny. Birdy (by some of his Hufflepuff friends). Nobleworth. Silverwood (by Snape out of spite).

Gender: Male.

Birthday: 12th of May, 1973.

Born: Deva, Transylvania, Romania.

Mother: Biological: Antonia Lazar, full Veela. Adoptive: Clarin (née Tramer) Silverwood.

Father: Biological: Emilian Nobleworth, Scottish, Half-Veela, Gryffindor. Adoptive: Palmer Silverwood.

Siblings: Jacob Silverwood (b. 1968), Indigo Silverwood (b. 1973).

Ethnicity: Romanian, Scottish.

Species: Veela.

Sexuality: Heterosexual.

MBTI Type: IN(TorF)P-T (I can't decide, so he's both).

Blood Status: Half-blood (I think.)

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff.

Appearance

Eyes: His eyes are a shade between green and blue with very light tones of lilac depending on the light. But due to his Veela powers he can change them into an shape or color he likes.

Hair: A light shade of golden blonde, wavy, usually grown below his chin. (At some point, he dyed a strand turquoise to impress his crush, I know, wild.)

Height: He's reasonably tall usually towering by little other boys, with long legs.

• He's got those handsome looks expected from a full Veela, structural face but round features give him a soft look. He's very strong despite his slim figure. His skin is pretty fair but he has a myriad of scars from past transformations.

• He's told he's a perfect mixture of his parents which gives him a friendly and suave look that easily turns authoritative and seductive when he uses his Veela powers of seduction.

Veela Form: Different from what's described in canon, I like to imagine Veelas having feathers that differ from people to people. Phoenix's feathers are fair golden with the inner side of his wing in shades of red, the feathers go up to the knees and elbows while hands and feet become bird-like with long black talons. His features and ears become sharper, and his teeth, fangs. His eyes turn silver-white when he turns by his will and bright yellow when forced to turn.

Transformation is hardly ever painless and he often hurts himself and takes longer to heal because of the Veela blood. Both spells and potions don't work as effectively, which is why he fights to control his temper, beyond the fact he can end up hurting somebody else.

Transformation occurs when he's either angry, instigated or when someone pulls out a string of his hair. Unless for the latter, he has partial control over his transformation/consciousness (nevertheless requiring practice and focus).

Magical Aspects

Wand: Pearwood with Veela hair core and an amber stone for stability, 14'' and flexibility. "Pearwood produces wands of splendid magical powers, which give of their best in the hands of the warm-hearted, the generous, and the wise, also among the most resilient." Veela's hair core is known to be temperamental — which is why Olivander had trouble making Phoenix's wand, having to insert molten amber to the torn wand for stability. The hair came from one shed by his mother which they used to keep stored for such use.

Patronus: Thunderbird. The Thunderbird is a large, magical avian beast native to North America. A close relative of the Phoenix. They can create storms as it flies and is highly sensitive to danger. They possess three pairs of powerful wings and have feathers that shimmer with cloud-like patterns.

Patronus memory: The day his wizard powers started presenting themselves — he stopped a sculpture from falling on his dad's head within a beat of his heart — and they had a real feast that night.

Veela Abilities: Beyond the popular ability to seduce - which really began when he turned 14 -, Veelas can also dwell and create fire from their hands in human form but requires training to control.

Boggart:

Penny (in specific because he hates to see her cry) holding his dead sister, hurt and bleeding, and hearing Penny say how could he have done that, because he's terribly afraid of losing his control and hurting Indigo.

Riddikulus: Penny tuns into Tonks and Indigo wakes up saying it was ketchup and makeup all along.

Amortentia: Regular burning candles, purple passionfruit, the smell of the house/apartment he lives in with his family, Peppermint tea, and the smell of fresh clay.

Once he gets over the fear of losing control somewhere around the end of his 4th year, his boggart in year 5 turns into Inferius versions of his parents after he learns about them in DADA, but even worse than described in the textbooks, with bugs crawling out of their mouths, a half-rotten dragon head on their lap and clothes stained with nearly black blood.

He has a hard time using Riddikulus on that one.

Miscellaneous

Pets: A Flama Squirrel (I made up from a real one), a magical squirrel that sets itself on fire when threatened, mostly predated by smaller breeds of dragons and Chimeras. The Flama's liver is commonly used in Erumpent potion with the intention of increasing its property but its lack doesn't spoil the potion, and their glands used to be common in perfumes for aphrodisiac fragrances until they started going extinct from excessive hunting.

Things he always carries with him: His wand, a chocolate bar, his favorite quill, a flask of water, and his class schedule cause he forgets them very often.

Lucky Amulets: A feather from his mom and another from his dad that he can wear on his hair and does on special occasions.

Best Friends

His sister, but as I did for her, I want to write their relationship in another post.

Aspen: Not only his cousin but also one of his best friends. Their personalities clash, her being outspoken and feral, and him being softer and more collected, yet they can't live without each other. He considers himself her protector, but from how savvy she is, it's her who ends up protecting him most times.

Boy!Rowan: His first Hufflepuff friend having met at the Hogwarts Express on their first ride. Rowan is his best friend and partner in crime. They usually spend time reading, walking open fields, and helping his sister with her plans of finding the cursed vault. Rowan supports him with tests and homework when his personal life gets overwhelming.

Chiara: They easily bond after he finds out her secret about being a werewolf, and they share support and help in times of instability. They like going out on picnics and to watch the creatures in the reserve. They actually enjoy dueling each other for fun, it's cute.

Penny: His first crush while still a boy in Hogwarts, he enjoys her company from her confidence and overall bright personality. Despite growing out of his affection for her, they're still good friends and enjoy each other's company. He offers a comforting shoulder when her relationship with her sister gets tricky.

Diego: He and Diego take a long time until they officially hit it off. Diego's personality being too grandiose and extroverted for Phoenix's taste. But as soon as he discovers that Aspen has a mad crush on him, goes out of his way to find out more about him, not trusting him to be a proper suitor for her. Despite his opinions, with time, their relationship evolves into a sincere friendship from Diego's good humor and adventurous heart.

Badeea: The one person he never thought he'd be friends with considering her intellectual (Ravenclaw-like) demeanor and collected attitude. But one day, when she gathers the courage to call him to pose for one of her paintings, he finds out she shared the exact same thoughts about him. Their friendship is quiet-like and profound, they share their thoughts about recent reads and go stargazing.

Orion: He first interacts with Orion when his sister joins the Gryffindor quidditch team and never he would've guessed how much Orion would mean to him. But with time he learns that Orion's presence is a suave and soothing one, and when he confronts Orion about how he can be that way, he decides to guide him into spiritual and mental balance. They meditate, chill and bond over shared experiences -- both being orphans, cool-headed, and deeply compassionate people.

Dormmates: It's him, Rowan, Diego, and two muggle-born boys, Lance and Edward, through which they learn a lot from the muggle world.

Academics

Favorite Classes:

History of Magic (when his friends are teaching)

Herbology

Ancient Runes*

Divination

Least Favorite:

Potions

Arithmancy

Favorite Professor: Minerva McGonagall. She's just so thoughtful and poise, the coolest animagus and the most powerful witch he knows.

Least Favorite: Snape for obvious reasons. He doesn't hate Snape but he also rather not be in his presence in potions class.

Quidditch: He cheers for Gryffindor when his sister is playing against the other houses, but his allegiance is to Hufflepuff. Imagine his excitement when Cedric Diggory joined the team and came down slaying with his abilities.

Yum,yum my Hufflepuffy boy, I love him. Can't wait to get into more detail about his past and romantic relationships.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

I'm back again (what a surprise lol), if you feel up to it would you mind writing hcs for Jean with the letters Q,T, Y & Z? If that's too much please feel free to take a letter or two off! Tysm 💖

Haha, no worries!! I could gush about Jeanne all day, I really loved writing these!! 💕💕💕 Under a cut because of length (we all know I’m a verbose thot 😂😂😂):

Fluffy ABC headcanons listed here for requests!

Q = Quality Time (how does he like to spend time with her?) 

Jeanne loves to do anything MC wants to do (within reason). Any amount of time with her anywhere fills him with bliss. (The heartbreaking alternative to this is that, while he understands they both have things to do that require them to be apart during the day, he misses her presence dearly.)

She wants to bake? He will sit there in the most embarrassing apron and chef hat known to man, and he won’t give a single fuck as long as MC is genuinely delighted and having a marvelous time. In a meadow overflowing with flowers? He’d enjoy the atmosphere alone, but the feeling is just multiplied a thousand-fold at the sight of MC weaving little flower crowns. She places one on his head and excitedly tries to show him how to make one himself, and he just smiles fondly. She wears the crown he makes no matter his lack of skill for the delicate task, and her insistence fills him with such unabating warmth. He struggles to do more mundane tasks and doesn’t really understand where all her energy comes from sometimes, but even so it brings him endless amounts of joy. Will escort her anywhere she wants to go without a single complaint; theater? You got it. Concert? Sure. Watching paint dry? Sick, time to get out the sword polish and chill. (It’s like Netflix and chill, only worse.)

The only places he will ever hesitate to bring her are places that are potentially dangerous; let’s say the black market, or the local casino, Vlad’s castle, etc. etc. He doesn’t like to expose her to unnecessary risks, but he also won’t stop her if she has a good reason/really wants to go. He’ll just glare at every potential threat and stick to her side like glue.

His personal favorite way to spend time though is in settings where they have quiet and privacy, where it’s just the two of them. Whether they’re in the gorgeous field full of lilies behind the mansion or cuddling in their bedroom, he is at his most comfortable and content wherever she is in his arms and they are left alone. (Let it be known that he doesn’t hate others, he just can’t help that he finds larger groups of people exhausting to keep up with--and he’s always on guard to ensure MC’s safety.)

T = Time (how long did it take them to get together?)

(I’m going to preface this by saying: I’m well aware that ikevamp speeds things up but I tend to see that as a narrative necessity; I think a lot of the men would work up to their romance more slowly, ideally.)

With Jeanne it’s a little funny because he develops affection/intrigue for people fast, so it’s fairly obvious when he starts crushing on MC. (I can’t stress enough, Sebas and Mozart are BOTH lenny face from like the first fucking day, it’s the funniest thing in the world. ANYWAY--). He’s similar to Leonardo in that way; there are certain qualities he inherently finds appealing, so he naturally gravitates to people that reflect them. However, a more abiding love--the desire to form a romantic bond with someone--takes more time for him. He and Sebastian share this quality (ISXJ amirite); they fall more and more deeply in love with the person they cherish as they form consistently pleasant memories in their proximity. More than anything, these two stoic characters need somebody that makes them feel safe, appreciated, and profoundly seen.

Her relentless desire to reach others in a positive way is the first thing that attracts Jeanne’s attention, but otherwise he is absolutely a slow burn when it comes to being committed to another person. He needs time to fall in love with all the little parts of his MC (all of which he finds endearing uwu), to develop trust and see that his MC can handle him, too. He knows he’s...a lot...so he can’t really be comfortably intimate without having the other person see the best and worst of him. If MC can face his past with sensitivity and earnest concern--without being overwhelmed--then he will well and truly be a goner for them. That’s the thing about Jeanne: he needs time to feel comfortable with his decision, but when he has decided he’s one of the most devoted lovers in existence. 

Given his necessity for security, he needs somebody who can see him at his most vulnerable without panicking and gently bring him back to himself--someone who doesn’t mind his wooden nature and difficulty expressing himself. I would say getting together would take at least a year and a half, at minimum. He needs somebody that, for all of his reticence and power, recognizes that he means absolutely no harm to anyone so long as they aren’t hurting him or anyone else. Under normal circumstances (rather than expedited ones), I imagine those difficult topics wouldn’t come up that quickly.

If we’re talking together as in hanky panky, I think it would take him a little while beyond that--but that would depend on his partner, too. If she needs time or doesn’t want it at all, he will wait any length of time or not engage at all. If she’s more desirous, he will engage faster and with more frequency. He likes being intimate and close to her, but would never insist on it if it made her unhappy. 

Y = Yes (how would he propose to her?)

When it comes to Jeanne, I think his proposal would be simple, direct, and entirely expected--but no less heartfelt and deeply romantic. He’s a man of few words, but whatever he lacks in eloquence he makes up for in charged brevity. He doesn’t much understand the social conventions/expectations tied to marriage in this era (and he does not listen to Comte either) so I imagine it comes to him naturally in the course of being with her.

It’s a few years into their relationship, and he’s smiling because she’s dazzling--whether it’s humming in the garden, or staring at the stars, or curled up close to his heart in his shared room; he just knows. Whether it’s a sin, or unconventional, or something he doesn’t deserve--none of those things are strong enough to deter him anymore. He wants to be the one that she turns to always when in need, wants to protect everything that she is--a sweet beacon in a world where he knows how easily that kind of brave light is snuffed out. Honestly more than anything, she just makes him feel like it’s okay to hope again, that it’s okay to want good things for himself and the future. He was a soldier once branded a traitor, but that isn’t who he has to be anymore. Now he has a choice; he’s free to move forward however he wishes. She taught him that.

“MC?” 

Bright eyes turn to him, smooth skin glowing in the moonlight beside him. She’s beautiful; he doesn’t think any amount of time will ever be enough to fully appreciate the blessing of her existence. As if she could hear his thoughts, she encourages him to share. She was always like that, always so perceptive and patient, no matter how much he struggled to articulate something. He much preferred the sound of her voice over his any day. “Is something on your mind, love? Something good happen today?”

He was fully aware he had none of the wit or charm that other men possessed, and while he wished he could be that for her--it simply wasn’t within his capabilities. So he used the words he understood best, following his direct nature: “Will you marry me?”

Her eyes widen a little, but the surprise is muted; it was more a matter of time than anything else. Even so her eyes glisten, and before he can try to calm her (her tears dissolved all his good sense, sent his heart into chaos), her arms are tight around him. He can hear her heart racing, even faster than his own.

“Of course I will! Yes, Jeanne!”

He’d hoped she wouldn’t hate the idea but her excitement, the tenderness that lingers in the way she cradles him close, makes him smile against her shoulder. His arms tighten around her, and he renews his vow to be her sword--the one and only man to protect her until the end of their days. (Yes, Mozart later drags his ass to the jeweler’s to get a proper ring 😂😂😂)

Z = Zen (what makes him feel calm?)

There are very few things in this life that bring Jeanne peace, but I think the highest things on that list would be MC’s voice/presence in general and his little babie Cherie (bonus points if the two are playing together, he just melts Mon Dieu 😭💖💖💖 ). 

He’ll often ask MC to read to him, if she’s so inclined, when his literacy improves. He loves the soft sound of her voice, and he wants to keep improving on his ability to communicate with more clarity. It makes her so happy when he leaves her coherent notes and manages to convey his thoughts with greater accuracy, so it really motivates him to keep striving. He likes it even better when she gets really into a reading, doing silly voices or changing the dynamics of her voice to fit the piece’s mood. It makes him smile; so excitable and cute. Though alternatively, she could be reading the phone book for all he cares; it’s enough to soothe him right to sleep. Sometimes--and especially when he’s had bad nightmares, retraumatizations, or when he’s overstimulated--she’ll fit him gently in her lap and just talk until he falls asleep. She’ll sing, read, talk about things they’re looking forward to, talk about things she needs to do tomorrow, talk about silly shenanigans that happened in the mansion recently; anything that will bring him back to her and her love. It really works to center him, to situate him back in the present moment instead of rattling around in his own head.

It’s honestly much like the sea and the shore, though there may be tides--the water recedes and surges--she will always be there to meet him.

Cherie is his baby girl and such a sweet kitty that he can’t help but smile whenever she bounds over to him. A little ball of energy, he’s always getting her toys, toting her around, and petting her gently. Whenever Cherie and MC are together in front of him, his heart about explodes from the uwus of it all; they’re his most cherished ones, and he loves to see them get along. MC will usually be giggling and cooing at the pretty tiger, and Cherie soaks up the affection with obvious glee. Just watching them is enough to make his heart so light--he can’t think of anything else that makes him relax down to the marrow.

He will also find a lot of calm after lovemaking, which is something that surprises him--something he never expected. Jeanne has a hard time connecting with other people; not because he doesn’t care, but because emoting in conventional ways can be a challenge for him. He doesn’t have He Who Must Not Be Named’s charm, he doesn’t have Napoleon’s easy confidence, he doesn’t effuse Vincent’s natural warmth. He’s aware of how little he emits tangible humanity according to the perceptions of others. It leads to him feeling isolated everywhere he goes, even if people don’t particularly dislike him. Even so, his MC knows that for all his struggle to express himself, he possesses a deep, fiery wealth of emotion and passionate feeling. He cherishes her willingness be vulnerable alongside him; to embrace the good and the difficult parts of him in stride. He is left awestruck by the extent of her fervor and loving heart every single time, and in the aftermath he finds himself at such startling peace with his existence. No pain, no hollowing loneliness, no guilt, no intrusive thoughts--just her warm body against his, so trusting--as she sleeps. He’s grounded in the moment, he feels tethered to her, and he doesn’t know how to handle the full feeling in his chest, the way his heart feels too many sizes too big. He spends many nights adjusting to that feeling of fulfillment, reveling in this new boon--among the dozens she’s already given him. Will wonders never cease?

[sunflowersteves]

cheaters never prosper || ch. 1

summary || Steve told you that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you but he sure has a funny way of showing it. 

author’s note || Based on the song “Sorry” by Beyonce. For the storyline to make sense. Also, I’m sorry to Sharon fans. She’s the only character I can recall with blonde hair. Hope you all enjoy it!

warning || angst, cheating, mentions of sex, asshole Steve, swearing

m.list // ch. 2

Looking at my watch he should’ve been home

Today I regret the night I put that ring on 

He always got them fucking excuses 

I pray the Lord you reveal what his truth is

You knew that Tony didn’t keep him in the compound offices until 4 AM. Bucky had even told you that Steve was going to head out around 5:00 pm when everyone else does because all he had was paperwork from the last mission. You twirled the wedding ring that clenched around your finger. It almost felt suffocating. You looked back at all those moments he canceled dates or forgot important ones. 

Stevie: Sorry, babe. I got caught up with work. I can take you out next Tuesday?

Stevie: Happy Birthday! Sorry, it’s so late. Work kept me up.

Stevie: Happy anniversary! I can’t make dinner tonight but I ordered you flowers.

Stevie: Won’t be home for dinner. Sorry.

Stevie: Don’t wait up. Work.

You weren’t an idiot. You knew about her. Another woman.

You’ve never felt so lonely.  It’s hard to even remember the last time he made love to you. But you still remembered. With the memories still engrained, your body burned with the feeling of him. When he would fuck you, it would be so good. Headboard banging against the wall as he pounded straight into you. He used to love the whimpers that came out of your mouth. He used to love the way your skin felt, slapping against his. He used to love aftercare, cleaning you both up then cuddling up into you, legs intertwined. He’d whisper how much he loved you and how he wanted a life with you, a family with you. That’s what he would tell you, anyway.

You shook your head, tears falling down your face making the sheets soaked. This wasn’t how your life was supposed to go. You wanted to stay married, have kids, settle down near the compound. But that’s just a dream. You knew you weren’t the most perfect person. You were stubborn and sometimes hard to deal with but you thought he loved that about you. 

Middle fingers up, put ‘em hands high

Wave it in his face, tell him, boy bye

Tell him, boy, bye, middle fingers up

I ain’t thinking ‘bout you

“You’re being ridiculous! I’m not cheating on you! How can you not trust me?!” You stopped vigorously washing the dishes and turned your body towards him. “Not trust you? Steve! How can I trust you when you leave the compound at 5:00 pm and not come back until 4:00 am. How can I trust you when you’re never even here?! How can I trust you when Bucky says you’re in one place but you give an excuse of somewhere different. Then, you come home, smelling like perfume! I’m not stupid, you asshole.” 

His facade faltered as he knew you were right. He was a cheater. He broke your heart. He knew you would find out eventually. He was such a horrible person. The one thing he didn’t want to do is hurt you but he can see he’s already done that. He messed up and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to fix his mistake this time. “Y/N...Babe, I’m so sorry-”

“You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you, you lying cheating ass.” You lifted up your middle fingers straight into his face. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like this, I’m so sorry.” He tried to get you to stay, to talk to you about all of this, to fix his mistakes. You waved him off, it’s too late for that. “I never meant for it to last this long.” You were just getting more indignant as he kept talking. You didn’t want to break down in front of him either. “I’m leaving. Don’t wait up, asshole.” You grabbed your jacket and your keys and slammed the door behind you. He started to weep, head deep into his hands as he thinks about his choices. Was a little fling really worth destroying his whole marriage?

Now I’m the one that’s lying

And I don’t feel bad about it

It’s exactly what you get

Stop interrupting my grindin’

You were never home as much as he wasn’t before you confronted him. Steve would come home to see the couch, bed, and guest bed empty. He knew he deserved it but he couldn’t help but feel his mistakes weigh in on him. His heart crushed in on itself but he couldn’t even imagine what you felt. What if the roles had been switched?

- - 

Most nights you would go to a club near the Upper West Side. Far away from Brooklyn as possible. Far away from him. You had lied to Steve telling him that you and Nat were hanging out. He knew it was a lie. Your tell was an eyebrow twitch and it had, in fact, twitched. 

You were grinding on a guy you just met, music pounding into your ears. It had felt nice to not be engulfed by him for once. The guy had told you his name was Sam. He had offered you a drink but you declined, needing to drive home at some point. “Driving? In New York City?” You laughed and explained your situation, having the pleasure of knowing Tony Stark. Sam was very charming, teasing you left and right. He was such a kind person, soft even, and oh so handsome. He stopped dancing and froze, seeing your hands. “You um... Married?” You looked down, your fingers grazed the band. You shook your head, tears springing to your eyes but not falling. 

He frowned. He pulled you aside to give you some space from all the dancers. He wrapped an arm around you, shushing you as you cried. “I’m so sorry. I completely ruined your night.” He shook his head and told you how much fun he was having. He told you that you hadn’t ruined anything. As you explained, more tears ran down your face. “He cheated… I know I still have the ring on but part of me… is still attached, you know? I came here to forget about him but... All I can think about is him. It’s silly, I know.” Sam stopped you. “Hey, it’s not silly. It’s not to the same extent, I know, but I had a girlfriend that cheated on me in high school.” “Yeah?” He rubbed his hand up and down your shoulder.

“Yeah, She cheated on me with Brad. She didn’t even tell the guy we were dating.” You both laughed together all night about stories of exes and eventually about each other. You were both getting a little too drunk (you gave in and had a couple of drinks with him) so you decided to leave. “Hey, whenever you drop that dickwad and are ready to date again? Give me a call.” He winked at you and you giggled before you left. You called an Uber, deciding to leave your car at the club for now.

Steve had ended up tracking you from his phone. He told himself that it was for your safety, that he was just checking to see if you were okay. In reality, he was nosy and wanted to see if he if his suspicions were right. (They were).

You walked out of the club with a light smile, Sam’s phone number clutched in your hand. Steve stood in front of you, tapping his feet. “What are you doing here, Y/N? Especially rubbing your ass all over other guys. We’re married!” He knew it was a low blow but he couldn’t help but be angry. He was jealous. “Oh, you don’t get to do that shit. Not with me. I will grind on every single person in there if I want to. As far as I’m concerned, you never have had control over me. And you will never!” He stared at you, wide eyed. “And for the record, you cheated! Not me! Maybe think of that the next time you try and ridicule somebody.” You paused, taking your ring off of your finger. “You know what? Here, I’ll make it easier for you.” You shoved the ring into his hand and sauntered off, not missing the sad guilty look on Steve’s face. “See you at home, Steve.”

I left a note in the hallway

By the time you read it, I’ll be far away

I’m far away

“I’m leaving him.” Bucky sighed as you handed him the note you wrote. He started to read it as a tear rolled down your face. What was Steve thinking? You were fun, smart, kind, and fuck, so beautiful. Hell, Bucky was the first one to hit on you when you introduced yourself to the team. But he knew it wasn’t those attributes. It was Steve. He was insecure that you would leave him for someone who doesn’t go on missions or put your life in danger. He wanted you to leave him for those reasons. He wanted you to be with someone who wasn’t PTSD ridden with nightmares from his past. It was his own insecurities that clouded his mind and made him act out on them. It had nothing to do with you. Both him and Bucky knew that. Bucky just wished he would have talked to you instead of putting his dick in another woman.

Bucky nodded. “Good. I think leaving him is the right choice. Nat and I have agreed to offer you to stay here as long as you need it. Never think you’re alone in this, Sugar.” You hugged him and thanked him greatly. You knew without Bucky and Nat, you would be struggling even more. The thought of support made your heart soar. Why couldn’t he have just talked to you? Tell you after the first time that it was just a mistake. But it’s too far now. You didn’t even know how long this has been going on. Honestly? You didn’t really want to know. Too long, was the answer. 

Tears flowed down your eyes and down your chin. “Oh... Honey… It’s alright.” You barely heard Bucky, too engrossed in your thoughts. “Why me? Why did he do this to me? What’s so wrong with me that he-” Bucky enveloped you into a big hug, Nat came into the room once she heard crying. She and Bucky share a knowing look. She knelt down in front of you and spoke softly. “Honey, you know it’s not you. You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve anything that puts you in harm’s way, you’re too pure. You shine brighter than anyone, Y/N. Always remember that.” Nat wiggled her eyebrows. “And who knows? Maybe that Sam guy will be the one!” You rolled your eyes at her but nevertheless giggled.

You laid in Bucky and Nat’s guest bedroom, you couldn’t sleep with all of the thoughts running through your head. You didn’t want to leave Steve. Especially after three years of marriage but you knew it was time. It was time to move on with your life. Time to let go of a life you can’t have. Of a person, you can’t have. 

He only want me when I’m not there

He better call Becky with the good hair 

“Do you love her?” “I-I.. I don’t know. I love you, Y/N.” Your face immediately turned into a scowl. “No. You don’t get to fucking do that. I will not sit here and let you say you love me when you don’t. Maybe you did at one point but you cannot truly love someone if you fucked another person. You’re despicable, Rogers.”

That hit him like a train. You hadn’t called him Rogers since you met him at the compound. It felt like his heart had stopped beating. “Y/N, please… Can we talk about this?”

“I hope she treats you well, Rogers. Better call Sharon now so she can pick your sorry ass up. In your eyes? Nobody can beat a Carter.” You picked up the last bit of your boxes and left the room, shutting the front door with your foot. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you drove away, looking at that house just one more time. 

Steve had the note clutched in his hand, getting tears all over the paper. He didn’t care though. All Steve can hear is the sound of his heart pounding in his ears and your car driving away. He cursed himself for being so stupid. He didn’t know what he had until it was gone. But he should know that cheaters never prosper. 

chapter two

[sitp-recs]

Hello! Do you have any starry recommendations for draco with a serious condition/illness? Examples I’ve seen (and savored) from your blog would be “on one’s knees” and “you’ve got the antidote for me”, which I love, and want mooooore. Thanks as always for the fabulous work 💖

Hi anon, thank you! This trope breaks my heart so I haven’t read much, but I hope you enjoy these fics. Some feature disability and/or mental health issues so pls check the warnings and stay safe ❤️

Under the Ivy by coffeejujkii (2006, PG-13, 4k)

It is impressive how much you can learn about someone by simply sharing a few rooms. They don't spend time together, not really, but Harry still knows that Malfoy prefers raspberry jam over strawberry, that he hums along to the Wireless when he thinks no one is around, and that his leg is bothering him more than usual when the temperatures drop below freezing.

Blind Faith by orphan_account (2013, Mature, 21k)

Don't think of it as losing your sight. Think of it as gaining an Animagus who never quite learned the meaning of the word 'boundaries'.

To Hurt and Heal by cassisluna (2018, Teen and Up, 21k)

They say that everybody who gets out of Azkaban comes out a little mad. After the war, Draco Malfoy spends three months in Azkaban. He just wants to go insane in peace, but Harry Potter finds that he, inexplicably, still can't leave Draco alone.

Vale Sanare by RurouniHime (2011, Mature, 23k)

Draco’s world gains a new component just when he thought he’d sorted everything out.

Come For Me by Frayach (2012, Explicit, 24k)

After Draco is paralyzed in an accident, he and Harry discover a new way to make love. Please read Author's Notes!!

Somebody to Love by khasael (2015, PG, 31k)

Draco's life after the war is quite different than it used to be. When he finds himself cursed, with little hope for lifting the spell, he sets out to make the most of the time he has left. Getting to know his Aunt Andromeda and his young cousin Teddy feels like a good thing to do, even if it can't help him in the long run...or can it?

The Bucket List by GallaPlacidia (2020, Not Rated, 32k)

Draco will die in six months if he can't get Harry Potter to fall in love with him. Since that's not going to happen, he might as well spend his last days working through his Bucket List. Tap-dancing lessons? Rock climbing? Poetry-writing? Threesomes? Cocaine? Getting to know his adorable cousin, Teddy Lupin? Draco will try them all! Feat. Cheerily pessimistic Draco, devoted bitch queen Pansy Parkinson, and a Harry who can't help but notice that something seems DIFFERENT about Draco, these days.

Draco In Darkness by plumeria47 (2003, Teen and Up, 34k)

Following an accident in his seventh year, Draco loses his eyesight. At first he completely withdraws, avoiding any hint of pity, as well as any assistance; he is determined to succeed on his own. But after Harry elbows his way into Draco's dark world, both boys find themselves in a strange new friendship, and they each learn new ways to see each other ... and themselves.

Bitter Transmutation : Cruel Transformation by @dorthyanndrarry (2019, Mature, 103k)

The terms of Draco’s probation require him to finish his final year of schooling, he just wants to survive with what little dignity he has left, in face of students that hate him, falling behind on his school work, and all the strange fevers and weakness and changes… that only seem to be getting worse.

A Thousand Beautiful Things by geoviki (2004, Mature, 104k)

Draco Malfoy struggles with changed fortunes, shifted alliances, an ugly war, and an unusual spell, with the help of a concerned professor, an insightful house-elf, and an unexpected Gryffindor friend.

Kiss Me (Under the Light of a Thousand Stars) by Iwao and Sophie_French (2015, Explicit, 114k)

Harry rescues Draco Malfoy from Azkaban, where he has been imprisoned for three years after the war. Draco is not as Harry remembers, as Azkaban leaves its mark on even the strongest of wizards. With no memory of who he was or how he came to be in Harry's care, Draco needs Harry's help if he is to have any hope of making a full recovery. But Harry has his own demons to fight and together with saving Draco, Harry must also discover a way to find himself.

There Is Always the Moon by firethesound (2016, Teen and Up, 159k)

Draco's life after the war is everything he wanted it to be: it's simple, and quiet, and predictable, and safe. But when a mysterious curse shatters the peace he'd worked so hard to build, there's only one person he can trust to help him. After all, Harry Potter has saved his life before. Now Draco has to believe that Potter will be able to do it one more time. (A remix of If the Sun Goes Black by pasdexcuses)

I’m also linking the fics you’ve mentioned in case anyone wants to check them:

you've got the antidote for me by Kandakicksass (2018, Mature, 20k)

When Harry Potter unintentionally severs their soulbond before it can fully form, Draco Malfoy resigns himself to a slow death and decides not to burden Harry with a soulmate he's made it very clear he doesn't want. He's never been selfless before, but for Harry, he can try.

On One's Knees by pir8fancier (2008, Explicit, 33k)

The war is over and to the victors go the spoils. If you are triggered by infidelity, this is not the fic for you.

Way Down We Go by @xiaq (2019, M, 109k)

In which Harry and Draco both run away from their pasts and conveniently choose to hide in the same tiny American town. It's super.

[regular-lord-reckoner]

i apologize in advance because this is probably going to be a lot but i just need to get some stuff out of my brain and hopefully be able to feel a little more at peace

so...okay, to start with we got a new dog today

should be a great thing, right? but i just...i really don’t think it’s a good idea

for one thing, it’s a very young pup, he’s only 7 weeks old. for another (and this is the biggest point) i had no idea this was even happening until it was already a done deal, i got no say in the matter

and i keep being told well, that’s not a problem because it’s not like i have to take care of him but like...of course i am. how would i fucking not?

my mom works a lot and spend a good portion of the week at work and even though i’m here most of the time i‘m usually upstairs

the primary caretaker of this dog is supposed to be my father but like...so seriously how is that going to go when the man spends a good portion of the day sleeping? who’s supposed to be letting this dog go outside to go to the bathroom or making sure he’s not into something?

and like, i don’t mean to be indelicate by any means, but my dad’s old. he’s not going to suddenly get better at this point in his life, in fact it’s only going to get worse from here and i feel like it’s already started

not too long ago he completely burned a pot and nearly burned down the kitchen because he forgot he was making beans on the stove top

any more it seems like if he starts a load of laundry he just...forgets it and i have to come behind him and stick them in the dryer or sometimes just rewash them altogether because they’ve started to smell sour

there’s just a lot of stuff like that where you can tell he started doing something but went to go check on something else or just wandered off and forgot about it completely

i’m genuinely worried about his memory starting to go and we think...giving him a living creature that depends on him for survival was a good idea? i’m sorry, i just don’t see it and that means i’ll have to pick up the slack and like. okay, i’ll do it for this poor little dog that also had no say in this but needs someone to take care of him but jesus fucking christ i just wish someone had bothered to run this by me first so i could at least mentally prepare for this

mind you too i’m already taking care of two cats that also aren’t mine and were brought here without me knowing anything about it and that was also a “well, it’s not your responsibility so don’t worry about it” kind of thing and well...here we are.

and i’m already trying to help out around here more as it is because like, no shit, i appreciate getting to stay here i really do so i don’t mind but honestly a lot of what i end up doing isn’t even my own stuff, y’know?

i’m taking care of myself but i’m also trying to go behind two other people and keep things clean and make things easier for everyone else and i don’t even get a courtesy like, “hey, big new responsibility dropping, get ready for it”? i dunno

and i’ve expressed all of this and just nothing. nobody gives a shit.

and so like okay, fine fair enough you know i’d been feeling anyway like i’m really ready to just...have my own place. again, i appreciate getting to stay here and genuinely have no fucking idea how i’d afford to live on my own but i’m starting to think i just need to bite the bullet and either get a second job or see about some other potential ways to make money

the only thing about that is...there’s a big part of me that’s like, “what’s the point? how long do you think you’ll get to even have your own life anyway?”

because again like...my dad’s old. his health, although not as bad as it has been in the past couple of years is still not going to do a miraculous turn around and like...especially if his mind is starting to go what are my options, realistically?

i go off and start my own life and will just have to give it up to come back here to help take care of him

and i know you’re probably thinking, “well no, you don’t have to do that,” but don’t i?

i’m just going to make my mom deal with that all by herself? there’s no other kids but me who will help. other family might but it’s not really fair to put that on them either and on top of that because we really hit the jackpot with relatives i can’t even begin to tell you how many vultures are going to come out of the woodworks when they get even a hint that things are going bad (hell, that already started when he was going through cancer treatments during this pandemic no less and family were messaging him wanting to know if they could come and visit like...absolutely not, what the fuck are you thinking??)

and i love my mom but she doesn’t take the greatest care of herself and i don’t really want to get into it but she’s definitely started to worry me with her drinking lately.

i feel like i can’t leave here. i feel like everything will fall apart if i do and that when shit really does hit the fan i need to be here so...why bother to leave?

i want to, but can i?

i don’t feel like my life is even mine at this point 

they’re not bad people, i can’t justify doing my own thing and telling them to kick rocks, especially after all they’ve done for me but at the same time i just don’t want to be stuck here forever

i just feel really, really trapped

and i know when people say that everyone gets nervous because uh-oh, that’s suicide talk!! but that’s the fucked thing too is that’s part of what feels especially suffocating

that’s not an option for me. not unless i want to hurt them as badly as possible and i don’t.

and you’d think it’s be maybe a relief to not have that as an option anymore, that oughta steer things in a more positive direction just naturally but instead it just kind of feels like someone’s trapped me in a room that’s slowly filling with water and there are no exit doors or vents or any possible means of escape so i just have to either sit here and slowly wait to drown or do what feels impossible and find some way to make all the water leave and build a better room

and obviously i should be talking about all of this with y’know, an actual therapist but that’s still proving really difficult at the moment

i made a new list of potential ones i just haven’t been able to reach out to any just yet and it definitely doesn’t help that every time i start to gear up to do it it seems like i get online and see a bunch of posts that are like, “honestly, therapy is a scam and not at all worth it and you’re stupid if you think it actually helps anyone, it’s likely to just traumatize you more and you can never trust a therapist!!” and i’m just like oh, okay then

because that’s the thing of it too like i need to talk to somebody, right? but clearly the shit i need to talk about is heavy and despite my trapped predicament like...i need to talk about these dark thoughts but is that going to get me hospitalized? is that going to fuck up my life even more?

and on top that, yeah dude, already having trust issues and being damn near incapable of letting new people into my life at all already doesn’t bode well in trying to find a person i can talk to about with all of this shit but i love the constant reminder that even getting to that point is likely going to be painful and could possibly just make shit that much worse!!!

i also just can’t stop thinking about the one therapist i did reach out to and that interaction alone has made me feel shitty enough. initially i tried to just take it in stride and figured it just wasn’t a good fit but now i’m convinced that’s how it’s going to go when i reach out to anyone else.

i’ll be made to feel like i’m stupid for needing someone to talk to because according to her “my clients have friends if they just want someone to talk to, y’know?” hahahaha no, i don’t but sure, go on!

like ma’am, no disrespect, i’m sure your methods work for someone, somewhere but i don’t think getting more sleep and walking more is going to fix the problem and on that subject...i don’t have friends

i have a friend and that’s about it

when i say i have trouble letting people into my life i really mean it

and yeah, maybe i’m just being a big baby about it all and i just need to like...try to make that happen anyway but i’m also at this point where it’s like...how?

actually how?

at my age?? finding friends??

on top of that just...i’ve been through my share of toxic friendships and although i’d like to think i’ve learned a lot since then and would hopefully never find myself in any again you never really know until you get into it, right? and just the thought of it, of putting myself out there, opening up, being vulnerable and just...letting people into my life only to possibly go through more shit it just sounds exhausting and terrifying.

i know it’s what i need to do, i know i can’t just close myself off from the world and essentially cease to exist while still being here but it just feels so fucking overwhelming and then on top of that like i said before, is there even a point?

because it kind of seems like i’m going to be needed here indefinitely and so is that just my life then? i’m just a loser who never leaves her hometown, never moves out, never has a life of her own or expands her circle to include more people because she just has to stay here and watch over things and take care of everyone and all the added responsibilities they keep bringing into this house without even running it by me first?

it feels like it and maybe it doesn’t have to be but it feels like it

and it just feels really, really suffocating 

and hopeless

and maybe it’s not really, maybe i’m missing something here but i feel like i can see down the road for many, many miles and it doesn’t look promising

and i feel selfish and horrible for even saying all of this because it sounds like i’m just pissed off i have to take care of things and it’s really not that

i genuinely don’t mind helping out and maintaining a space and i don’t even really mind cleaning all that much, it can be a good stress relief i’ve found but it’s just this overwhelming feeling i have of like...this is my life. this is all it’s ever going to be.

i’m going to sit here and watch everyone else go on and live their lives, have lots of friends and romance and really just experience life and i’m just going to be sitting here left in the dust at home chasing after pets and trying to keep everything from falling apart until the bottom does inevitably fall out so i can be here to pick up the pieces just like i did last time

and i mean if that’s the case then i’ll make peace with it, i just wish it could be different i guess. if nothing else, i wish i didn’t have this urge to change things or to have a different life because it just doesn’t feel possible right now. feels very much like if i step away even for a second that everything’s going to go wrong and i’ll be partially to blame because if i had been here maybe things would be different

then again, the last time something tragic happened and i lost someone i loved very much i was here and it didn’t make a damn difference so maybe my presence isn’t as important as i think but i guess that’s part of it too like...that happened on my watch and if something else bad happens when i’m not here... i’m barely living with the first shit, i don’t know if i could handle the second

idk. this is really stupid i think but it’s been in my head for a while now and with this new dog thing i’m just kind of at my breaking point with it so here you go, void.

hopefully i’ll be able to talk myself into getting a therapist anyway even though i’m scared to death because i know i shouldn’t be putting this here but right now i just feel incredibly stuck and i’m not sure what to do or where to go

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

A will they, won’t they relationship with Seth Brundle would include~

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous/Hope this is what you wanted!)

(I chose to do this outside of the plot but I wouldn’t be opposed to doing something similar during the plot <3)

- Seth was never an incredibly social person but seemingly out of nowhere, it became abundantly clear that he needed somebody in his life. An assistant; he’d reasoned with himself, somebody who could help him with his work while also ensuring he didn’t go insane staying cooped up inside his house all day. That was where you came into the picture. 

- You’d been working as an engineer/machinist when you first met him. Over the years, it became a habit of his to go to one specific company for his very important machinery and odd parts. You were a new hire of theirs, one he became anonymously and particularly fond of after seeing the level of care you put into your work. 

- It was during one of his routine pick ups that the two of you finally met face to face. It didn’t take him long to decide that you were the perfect person to employ; young, intelligent, precise, …pretty. After learning that you had a background in biology, he considered it a match made in heaven. 

- He asked if you’d like to see what he’d been building, planning to propose a partnership once he’d successfully amazed you with his invention. Since your shift was almost finished; and you were a tad bit curious, you took the bait and agreed to go with him. The rest is history.

- Seths never really had anyone to talk to about his work so it’s really a breath of fresh air when you come into his life. He can finally have a conversation with someone who’s on the same level as him and understands what he’s saying.

- The two of you can have deep, hour(s) long conversations with each other and not even realize it. Sometimes you’ll figure that you’ve only been talking for maybe an hour tops, then check the clock and find out you’ve actually been talking for three hours. Guess time ...flies when you’re having fun.

- Touching and staying close to each other’s sides any chance you get. You normally have to work in pretty close proximity so it isn’t all that hard to find an excuse.

- The two of you get to know each other very well, I mean, that’ll happen when you spend nearly all day and night with a person for days on end. But regardless, he can recite all your favorite things and uses it to his advantage.

- Sometimes, he’ll just surprise you with a treat or gift, usually something like buying you your favorite hot drink or dessert. He likes being able to make you smile and absolutely adores when you return the favor.

- Late night take out dinners after a long day of hard work. Some of your best memories have taken place on the floor of his apartment, cheap food container in hand and a smile on your face.

- Crashing at his place when you wind up working late into the night. Waking up and seeing you asleep on his couch/bed never fails to make his heart flutter and bring a smile to his face.

- Teasing and treating each other like you’re an old married couple. Every now and again you’ll bicker with each other and he swears you both sound just like his grandparents.

- The two of you have definitely been mistaken for a couple more than a few times. It never fails to make his heart race whenever someone says you look good together or calls you his girlfriend. He always tries to subtly look over at you to see your reaction, hoping that you don’t look bothered by the idea.

- He started calling you darling and honey jokingly; both because of your tendency to get mistaken for a couple and just to be a smartass, but then he just never stopped. It’s become a habit of his and one that he isn’t going to be able to break anytime soon, no matter how hard he tries.

- The amount of times he’s made you flustered with his compliments/praise; specifically after you spark an idea in him or make him realize something, is embarrasing. Oftentimes, he’ll kiss your cheek/forehead, laughing like he’s just gotten an adrenaline rush and calling you a genius.

- He’s definitely exclaimed that he loves you in these moments but you just think it’s strictly platonic, like how someone will say “god, I could just kiss you” when they’re overjoyed. If only you knew the truth.

- Whenever he gets something right/finally figures out what’s happening, he turns into an adorable fool. He giddily takes you by the arms and demands that the two of you celebrate, already moving towards the liquor cabinet as you try to calm your beating heart.

- Everytime you tell him that you believe in him or think he’s a good scientist, he has to stop himself from smashing his lips to yours.

- Theres a few times where he almost kisses you for real and you’re nearly sure he will. Once when you were both huddled around his computer, your faces inches apart (a fact you realize when you finally look at each other for the first time). He glances down at your lips and begins to lean in but stops himself, apologizing and stepping back with a shy smile.

- The second time is when you fix a major bug in his system, making everything work just the way it should. He’s grinning ear to ear as he calls you brilliant and a million other names, all but running over to where you stand. He hesitates for a moment; contemplating just doing what he’s dreamed of doing for so long, before he finally just pulls you into a tight hug. You never thought a hug would make you so dissapointed.

- Then there’s the times where he’s almost told you how he felt. There was definitely a few but one stands out to you even to this day. The two of you had been working together for a few months and he’d finally decided that he could completely trust you. He brought up the idea of adding your voice to his machine and couldn’t help but smile at how excited you got.

- You spent the next hour or so programming your voice into the system and once you were finished he very nearly told you that he loved you. Right at the last minute, he decided that he just couldn’t do it and instead told you that he was glad that the two of you met.

- He’s finally forced to confess his feelings to you about a year or so after you become partners. While you can’t deny that you love him, you also can’t wait around for forever so you agreed to go out on a date with an acquaintance of yours.

- When you tell Seth, he seems bothered by the idea but he plays it off like he just wanted your help in the lab. He very nearly says accepts when you offer to reschedule your date but ultimately decides that it’s not fair and tells you to have fun, giving you a forced smile as you promise to stop by afterwards in case he needs any help.

- When you return to his house later in the night, he asks you how it went, taking the time to tell you how nice you look all dressed up. You shyly admit that you weren’t really planning on seeing the man again which makes him visibly happier. It’s then that he finally tells you what you’ve been waiting to hear for so long.

“Y/n,” he starts abruptedly, turning around to face you “Theres something I’ve been meaning to tell you, something that I can’t hold back any longer. Y/n ... I am completely in love with you and have been since the moment I saw you.”

“Now if you dont like me back thats fine but I couldnt live with myself if I didnt at least try to tell you how I felt. It finally hit me that I could lose my chance forever if I don’t say anything and thats not a risk I’m willing to take. I never want to feel how I felt tonight ever again in my entire life. So ...what do you say?” He asked, his voice slowing to a nervous stop.

- It felt like a dream when you returned his affections. He’s so excited to be in a relationship, especially with you of all people. He’s surprised that you want to be with him but god is he glad.

- The two of you share your first kiss right then and there, slowly moving toward each other until you’re nearly chest to chest. You’re still gazing into each other’s eyes as his arms encircle your waist. You only close them once his lips press against yours, stealing your breath away.

- It’s safe to say that you spend all night wrapped up in each other’s arms, making up for lost time.

[garrusprompts]

Where the Water Tastes Like Wine is a Narrative-Adventure game about traveling, sharing stories, and surviving manifest destiny. Some quotes have been edited or paraphrased for RP purposes. Feel free to change it up to fit your muse. 2/?

" i wasn’t one to accept death. to live beside it - that wasn’t my way. "

“ i threw him away. i thought i loved him, but he was nothing to me. ”

“ i did not think that death could, or would touch me. before i met the devil, i was too worthless even for death. ”

“ i never feared the devil, no. he took something from me, but he gave me back something i lost, too. ”

“ when they died, it sucked the love right out of me. ”

“ i thought it would last forever. it should have. ”

“ joy? well, i think there’s more of it in the world than there was. ain’t mine to have, but it’s there. people dance more now. they smile more, i think.  ”

“ you ever wake up, already silently screaming in your head? ”

“ heaven don’t last. ”

“ do you need a soul to love? i don’t think i’m capable of it anymore. ”

“ what’s freedom to me? some say that when we end, that’s freedom. ”

“ i wish i could find comfort in the notion of death, but i know what waits for me beyond the veil. ”

“ don’t bother wishing me any luck. luck’s not in my stars. love ain’t in there, either. ”

“ sit with me - let’s talk. i don’t want to sleep tonight. ”

“ this life is a prison and sometimes i laugh because i made it. i made this whole world and now i’m trapped in it. ”

“ we were all cursed. right from the beginning. ”

“ i think i was born cursed. there was never a happy ending for me; i die alone no matter what path i took at that crossroads. ”

“ the devil doesn’t give even deals. ”

“ the devil gave me everything - but he took everything, too. ”

“ it was me. it was me who made this world. that’s all i have now, and i need you to know this; i made the world that ruined me. ”

“ there’s no running left in me. don’t weep for me. i will die here. ”

“ are we done here? i laid myself bare for you - that’s all there is to me now. ”

" does being out here free that part of you? "

" i've met a lot of people like you on this road. there's something you want from it, isn't there? "

" i've been a wandering ghost for a while now, and i'll be that way for some time to come. "

" it's a fate i should have known i was in for. "

" sometimes i start to think: well, the world isn't made for being happy in. not for someone like me. "

" i've seen a lot of change. everything - everyone - i thought i had is gone. "

" when i'm alone out here, i spend too much time inside my own head. "

" you know the hardest person for anyone to have faith in? it's themselves. "

" what do you want from this life? do you think there's a chance you'll get it? "

“ i still love him. ”

“ it takes a special kind of fool to become a poet. ”

“ writing poetry won’t make your sadness go away, nor will your problems be solved. but at least you’ll be able to look back and know how you felt. ”

“ maybe the traps i’ve fallen into are ones i made myself. ”

“ maybe what i think happened didn’t happen at all, and i’m the one who’s been a monster. ”

“ i don’t trust myself to see them and act like a decent human being. ”

“ i suppose after a while i’ll start to realize how little i can change and accept myself as seething with anger and pain. ”

“ a pity, isn’t it? to be stuck with ourselves like this. ”

“ i don’t want to be the way i am now. ”

“ looks like i’m still me and you’re still you. ”

“ it’s enough for something to exist in the past and for that to have been good. ”

“ i wanted to find what it meant to be alive. ”

“ most people go through life doing a lot of work to avoid the truth. ”

" the past doesn't even feel like it happened - it feels like it's happening in every moment. in every slumber. "

" when your memories come back to you, do they clutch at you? at your heart? "

" do you know any happy stories? hopeful ones? "

" there's some hope left for you, too, you know. don't give it away too quickly. "

" faith? well, god and i haven't been on speaking terms. i gave the fucker so many chances to make things right and he hasn't followed through. "

" the days come and go and the terrors return. "

" they'll never be able to pay back what they owe me, but i'll always keep at 'em. "

" what about you - is there something somebody owes you? "

" the journey - if you look at it all at once, it'll overwhelm you. it'll hurt your mind. if you take it day by day, then...then it won't hurt quite so much. "

" they wanted someone to be proud of, and i did as they asked. "

" the sadness didn't come immediately. when they died, it left me feeling like half of me was missing. "

" the emptiness didn't last - it filled itself with sadness not long after. "

" for a moment there - just a moment - i felt better about it all, too. "

" the time for faith has long passed, friend. "

" love comes in so many forms. i love more dearly now than ever."

" i love more deeply than the sun and the earth. "

" loyalty to him is the only loyalty i don't regret. "

" when everything has left you, all that remains is a peculiar peace. "

" the way people look at me...that's when i miss being whole the most. "

" i wish i could talk about what happened the way you do. "

" wishes? if i had my way, i'd go back to a time before the war...but now, i have no wishes. "

" the stars cross the sky and they mean nothing. "

[haberdashing]

open your eyes (i see your eyes are open) (2/?)

Jon, faced with being the last one left in a dying world, sends his memories back in time to someone who might be able to fix things before the worst can happen.

Sasha James, for her part, is very confused.

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

on AO3

The night before had been ordinary enough, the only quirk being that Tim had used it being the Friday marking the end of their first week in the Archives as an excuse to invite Sasha out to the pubs that night, as opposed to any of the other excuses he always managed to find to do the same.

Sasha’s head was pounding from the beginning of a hangover, though it was early enough in the morning (and her drinking had ended late enough at night) that she could still feel the tail end of her drunkenness in her system, a few drops of alcohol still sluggishly coursing through her veins.

The memories that filled her head now weren’t a mere drunken vision, though, Sasha knew that much.

It was a bizarre feeling, seeing the world through another person’s eyes, another person’s memories. Seeing herself through Jon’s eyes might have been worse still, but Sasha was spared that particular awkwardness... if only by having her place in all of his memories taken up by somebody else entirely, which was just as awkward in a different way that Sasha wasn’t sure she actually preferred.

A small part of Sasha wondered dimly why now, why her, but most of her mind was focused instead on analyzing the treasure trove of future memories that now lay before her.

This wasn’t a dream, a vision, a hallucination. The details were too clear, too specific, too vivid. This was real. This was supernatural, and this was real.

...Sasha wasn’t so sure anymore that her pounding headache was anything so simple as a mere hangover.

She groaned a little as she sat up, taking in her surroundings. They hadn’t changed since the night before, of course, even though Sasha had. She’d ended up getting a little too drunk accidentally-on-purpose and spending the night at Tim’s flat, on the couch that was probably beginning to form an outline of her prone body on it after all this time. (Tim would’ve let her have the bed if she asked, but Sasha didn’t dare; that’d mean either inconveniencing Tim or sharing the bed with him and neither were palatable options for her, not when she hated the idea of imposing on others, not when their friendship was still being rebuilt from the last time they’d been in a bed together.)

It was early still, too early, and part of Sasha wanted nothing more than to curl up in the haphazard pile of blankets Tim had assembled for her and go back to sleep, but she knew that would be a lost cause. Her thoughts were moving a mile a minute now, ideas flowing quickly and steadily even as Sasha stared blearily out at Tim’s living room, and her mind showed no signs of slowing any time soon.

(Unless she encountered a certain web-covered table, perhaps...)

What was she going to do with all this information? Where should she start? How much of the worst of it could she prevent from happening all over again?

Sasha was just grabbing a notebook out of her bag to jot some initial thoughts down when she heard footsteps coming her way, looked up to see Tim entering the room.

“You’re up early.” Tim’s face was covered in a grin, but his eyes told a different story, bleary and glossed over, though he still didn’t look as bad as Sasha felt.

One benefit to being up earlier than her usual, Sasha supposed: Tim was always a morning person, something she could never quite understand, so she’d have someone else to bounce ideas off of, someone who was probably more awake than she’d managed to become so far.

“I am, aren’t I?” Sasha cracked a smile as best she could manage.

“What’s the story, morning glory?”

Sasha hesitated for a moment, biting her lip before finally speaking up. “Can I tell you something weird, something that might sound crazy?”

Tim blinked a few times, and the bleariness faded from his eyes, leaving only that strange early morning energy of his. “Of course. It’d only be fair, right?”

“...right.”

Neither of them mentioned Danny’s name. Neither of them needed to. The grim story lingered over them just the same.

Sasha considered her words carefully. She trusted Tim with the truth, would trust him with her life, but... but she wanted to make sure too much didn’t get out too fast, that her efforts to prevent the end of the world weren’t ruined before they could begin, and even speaking everything aloud here and now wasn’t entirely safe.

Tim sat down on the couch next to Sasha, her scooting over to make room for him as she lay there, planning out her next move.

“I just got hit with this weird wave of... information, I guess? Just this knowledge pouring into my head about the Archives, the Institute, the supernatural in general. And most of it’s not good. We’re really in over our heads here.”

“...you’re not just talking about how Jon doesn’t know the first thing about archiving, are you.” A statement, not a question.

Sasha snorted. “No, though I suppose that bit doesn’t help any. But it’s so much bigger than that. All these things out to get us, ways loads of people could die along the way... I saw a way you could die, Tim.”

Sasha watched Tim’s reaction to that news carefully. He didn’t look happy about it, which Sasha supposed was a good thing, but he didn’t look especially surprised, either. His eyes were dark and hard to read.

“But you’re going to fix it, right? Make sure nothing too bad happens?”

“I’m damn well going to try.” Sasha leaned her head, filled with sleep-time fog and racing thoughts and far too much knowledge now, against Tim’s shoulder; it was firm and warm and comfortable against her cheek. “But I don’t know how much I can do, or even where I should start.”

“I’m sure that big brain of yours will figure out some master plan soon enough.” Tim turned his body a bit, and Sasha adjusted her position in turn to match. “Especially if I have anything to say about it.”

“I think- no, I know I could use the help.” Sasha rested her hand on top of Tim’s. “It means a lot, really, not being alone in figuring it all out.”

“Of course.” Tim squirmed in his seat a bit, and Sasha lifted her head, not wanting to bother repositioning it yet again--where did he get all that energy so early in the morning? “Want me to start making breakfast while you think it all through?”

Sasha’s laugh was shaky but clear just the same. “That’d be lovely.”