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#Also I am going to address this one more time because this is what eats at me the most
breezypunk · 2 years
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I spent some time thinking. I am not going to go into great detail cos I just don't have the energy to do so. However, I feel that for once I will say what's on my mind.
I struggle with finding my place here, with belonging. I've been a lone wolf for a long time, even when I thought I had people, I still felt alone. This fandom holds a huge part of my heart, it's the first time I felt connected to a game so emotionally, and invested so much time and energy into. I've never spent 2 years on one game with no thoughts of leaving anytime soon, until Cyberpunk.
I'm a very emotional person, who still struggles with many things when it comes to this fandom. Things I will not speak of, because it won't do any good. However, there have been instances where I've been made to look like a bad person because there are people who have beef with me. (and it is very one sided at this point, because I am tired).
I am moving on with whatever drama and anger people may have, I have made wonderful friends over the last few months, people I am so grateful to know. People who are understanding and want to see others succeed and do well, people who are such a special part of this fandom who make it a place where it's worth it to stay.
But it's not just the people, it's also the game itself. I think a lot of us lost the whole point of being in this fandom, and that is to love a game that brought us so much happiness and emotional investment, the characters who we grew to love so much. The lore, the headcanons, the photostories people come up with, that's what makes a fandom, not drama, not bullshit. Not people accusing you of shit every 3-5 business days.
There are a lot of talented people here, well.. to me everyone is talented in their own way, everyone deserves a chance here. Everyone deserves to be happy here and not have to walk on eggshells all the time.
I for one am tired of walking on eggshells, I've been doing it over a year and a half now, and I'm done. I'm ready to get back into why I came into this fandom to begin with, to enjoy Night City and it's wonderful characters, and I hope everyone else does that too.
There are still things I need to work on, because I am not perfect, no one is. I like to think of myself as perfectly imperfect, because I know there are things I can change too, here, and within myself.
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freakassfemme · 1 month
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streamer!gf! abby head cannons ✩°。⋆⸜ 🎧
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this came to me so violently. i couldn't get it out fast enough
✮⋆˙ initially she gets popular with a male audience through first person shooter games and her custom builds of old ass computers from like, random 90s scrap lots she finds on ebay
✮⋆˙ is playing black ops or something for a throwback Thursday and bumps into some random kid on voice chat who tells her to play Roblox (she's never heard of it)
✮⋆˙ lev explains it to her and she finds the concept really weird and kind of funny so she agrees and streams it one day, which SHOVES her through a portal to popularity
✮⋆˙ hot buff nerdy girl w glasses on my computer? yeah her demographics change REAL fast
✮⋆˙ surprisingly she has a lot of fun with it. she thinks the games people recommend her are really hilarious and her chat eats it up
✮⋆˙ never mentions being gay until someone makes a Chappell roan reference in chat one day and just casually she's like "omg my girlfriend loves her"
CROWD GOES WILDDDDDDDDD
✮⋆˙ very quickly they want to meet you. abby refuses at first, but slowly allows you to weasel your way in, whether it's through playing on your switch in the background, blurred out, or you running after bear and alice to try to rush them out of abby's office
✮⋆˙ soon enough you're sitting down live because abby can't place on dress to impress and she's pissed
✮⋆˙ it becomes a joke, but she loves it. she really enjoys making more light-hearted content and connecting with different types of people rather than vaguely-threatening tech bros
✮⋆˙ has a thing where if anything gay happens on screen she salutes the camera or gives the craziest side eye
✮⋆˙ still goes back to her roots and plays the most random old games she's had to pirate off some sketchy websites and download suspicious files to obtain, just laughs nervously when everyone's freaking out about it
"whaaaat? no, the internet is really nice to me. it would never do that -- oh FUCK" (mods are rushing to blurr out her IP address)
✮⋆˙ has the driest, most sarcastic humor that everyone adores.
"I want to rip your bicep off with my teeth... that's really normal of you."
"you think you could do it better? yeah? is that going to be before or after your homework?"
✮⋆˙ very minimalist, black setup with some black ambient lighting that's low-key like hot as fuck
but she's really clumsy and trips a lot, especially because it's dark. her monitor is falling like every other night and she's lucky it hasn't cracked
✮⋆˙ constantly bombarded with edits of her to muse that you'll be running in to show her midstream. she gets the biggest, most shit-eating grin
also didn't really understand what an edit was until you showed and explained it to her lol
✮⋆˙ eventually, as she opens up more and becomes more of a charming personality than a stoic bro-type, she starts making other friends.
yeah she becomes friends with streamer!ellie <3
as the time goes by, she and ellie get really close. there's definitely multiple streams of you, abby, dina and ellie playing mario kart or luigi's mansion on some first generation wii
✮⋆˙ abby teaches you how to jailbreak anything and everything from a 3DS to a switch, even when you're freaking out that she's going to lock it and you'll have to get a new one
✮⋆˙ eventually she sets you up a little corner in her office for when you join her on her streams. it goes from being one camera to you both having separate monitors, and yours is obviously much more colorful than hers
✮⋆˙ on very, VERRRRRY rare occasions she'll say something like "gotta lock in" or "ate", and its usually after like the most gruesome scene in a horror game and like 20 seconds delayed
like imagine her saying "gotta lock in" trying to be funny and finally getting into the bathroom in silent hill and then just sitting over the sink with her jaw on the floor for fifteen seconds
"Jesus Christ, am I going to get banned for showing that?"
✮⋆˙ really gets into analog horror and eventually starts drafting her own concepts, which pushes her into the rabbithole of ARGs
✮⋆˙ loves when people make virtual stickers of her, she thinks its really funny and though she never gets into "merch", she doesn't mind people turning stuff into actual stickers. she thinks its even funnier when she's never seen a screenshot until someone sends her it as a sticker
lets you keep them all and put them on the fridge or your water bottle
✮⋆˙ never does anything risky on stream but is no stranger to leaning back in her chair for a good time if you tiptoe in one night after she's logged off
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klaus-littlestwolf · 11 months
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In your last post you said about Klaus getting turned on by watching the reader eat?
Could we have more on/about that in a separate one-shot if you have the time? 💕
One More Bite -Klaus M.
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I combined this request with another one I had gotten in my PM’s for Klaus’ mate giving him a blowjob when he’s in his wolf form, so fair warning on that.
If that is something that the original requester isn’t okay with and you don’t want to read this, send me another request and I’ll write something else for you as I understand you may not want to read something like this because it’s for such a specific kind of reader I assume (even though I am one of those readers).
Warning: Severe Warning on this fic! This fic contains Smut while our favorite Hybrid is in his wolf form! Blow-Job warning! Klaus becoming aroused by watching his Mate eat food. Also brief mentions of a school shooting when talking about the Scream movie series.
Sitophilia: Arousal involving food
Don’t Like=Don’t Read
Dead Dove:Do Not Eat!
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Klaus has no clue where it came from.
It started when he was in Alarics body in the lunch room, watching over his Doppelgänger and her friends was proving entertaining to him…until he saw her. Y/n was a friend of theirs that didn’t seem to be all that involved in their Supernatural affairs, blatantly ignoring them as they spoke about the immortal Hybrid that sat 2 tables away possessing their History teacher.
She was a beautiful girl, one of the sweetest the 1000 year old man had ever seen, he swore it was true with how kind and naive she seemed to be. Klaus felt the need to protect her and ensure her safety, swearing to himself he would leave her out of all of this but just as he was about to leave the lunchroom he found himself captivated by her once more. It took a bit too long to notice that he was staring at the girl as she ate her lunch.
Klaus had never really been fascinated by watching someone eat before and it was an odd thought all together, but he couldn’t deny his enjoyment at watching her…he also couldn’t deny the raging erection in his pants that he willed away as strongly as he could as he wasn’t in his pants or his body and he was Not dealing with that!
He had gone to the front office later that day, finding her file and reading as much about her as he could. Her name was Y/F/n, she was on the honor roll with mostly all A’s and a few B’s, he found her address as well as the fact that she is emancipated and living in that apartment alone. He looked more into that, finding out that her parents had died a few months prior (when Damon had released the tomb vampires) and she lived on money they left as well as what she made working in a movie theater in the next town.
He found himself hating the idea of his girl being forced to work a job on top of going to school and getting amazing grades, only to come home to an apartment all alone with no family and no real friends as that Scooby Gang doesn’t seem to be very close with her. Klaus can’t explain his feelings, his attraction, or why he wants to take care of her so badly but he knows he doesn’t want her working this hard so that she can be all alone and in pain.
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Klaus ditched Alarics body as soon as he was able and while his witches were dealing with the things he needed for his curse, he made his way to the next town and into the little movie theater. He walked into the theater and up to the snack counter where she was sat, reading something on her phone before jumping up as she saw him.
‘Good afternoon sir, what can I get for you to make your movie experience better?’ She asked, a smile on her face as if anyone could enjoy this job everyday. He hated seeing the dark circles under her eyes that she tried to cover with makeup, he wanted to see her in a comfortable bed, sleeping as much as she needed, wanted to watch her enjoy breakfast in bed with the knowledge that she didn’t have to go to work or school or do anything other than be with him. He found himself staring down at her as he imagined feeding her that breakfast while his cock was still buried deep inside of her cu- ‘Sir?’
‘Sorry, lost in thought there.’ He chuckled and she did as well.
‘I do it all the time, no worries. Can I get you something to eat?’ He looked as if he was considering it before responding.
‘Actually, I would love to get you something to eat.’ She looked up at him confused and he thought it was adorable. ‘Would you like to see a movie with me?’ She was shocked by this, clearly, and didn’t respond very quickly. ‘What time do you get done?’ He asked as if he didn’t know it was in 5 minutes.
‘Oh, I’m done in about 5 minutes. I have to get home and study for a test though-‘
‘Aw, let yourself relax a bit. Let me treat you to a movie, you can get whatever you want to eat, and you can pick the movie.’ The blush that spread over her face was adorable and he loved every second of it.
‘Really? Even if I pick a chick flick?’ He nodded, seeing a coworker walking out to take over her shift. ‘Okay, I want to see 5 Nights at Freddy’s…let me go get changed.’ Her smile lit up Klaus’ whole world and he smiled as he watched her walk away, her cute little ass nearly on display in the short skirt she had to wear as a uniform. Klaus only waited about 5 minutes for her to return after getting the tickets (and experiencing the man’s shocked face as he bought all the tickets in the entire theater so that they would be alone), wearing a dark tank top and fluffy pajama pants. ‘Sorry about the clothes, I was prepared to go home and get in bed.’ She explained but he waved her off.
‘Not a problem, next time I’ll wear pajamas too. I’m Nik, by the way.’ He teased, seeing her eyes light up at the idea of a second date.
‘Y/n, nice to meet you Nik.’
‘Alright, what do you want to eat?’ This was a dine-in theater, and while Klaus remembered when theaters sold popcorn, soda and candy exclusively, he found himself happy about the idea of providing his girl a good meal and getting to watch her eat it.
‘Oh, I’ll just get a small popcorn-‘
‘You just got off work, you must be hungry. Please let me get you a meal? Anything you want, if you don’t choose I’ll choose for you and I’ll be forced to feed it to you.’ He teased, wrapping his arm around her waist to test the water of how she felt about him touching her and to his surprise she leaned into his side, allowing his hand to stay on her waist. She was attracted to him too, he could practically smell it, and it made the Hybrid truly happy to know that his girl at least liked him as well.
‘Fine, okay. Hey Kyle, can I get an order of cheese fries, please?’
‘And?’ She shot him a teasing glare before rolling her eyes.
‘And a large order of chicken tenders with extra honey mustard. And since we’re bending this guys wallet, I’ll also have a large chocolate brownie milkshake-with extra chocolate sauce…I hope you like chocolate cause I won’t drink all of that, it’s huge.’ Klaus just grinned as he handed over his card. ‘Wait! You’re not getting anything?’
‘A bucket of popcorn too, please?’ He ordered and she stared at him as he paid for the wildly overpriced food. He carried the popcorn, allowing her to drizzle butter all over it along with salt before they went and found their seats, a girl bringing Y/n’s food about 10 minutes later just as the movie started.
‘I can’t believe there’s no one else in here, especially this late.’
‘Is this a popular movie?’ He asked, genuinely having no idea what it’s about. Klaus hadn’t come here with any intention of watching a movie, he just wanted to be with his girl so to him, the movie didn’t make one single fucking difference.
‘Oh yeah, it’s based on a horror game that I loved, plus Matthew Lillard is in this so I want to see it desperately. People really believe that his character is just Stu from the Original Scream a few years after he “died”. Which he 100% didn’t by the way.’ He could see how sure she was of this and enjoyed her dedicated belief to a movie she clearly loved.
‘How are you so sure he lived?’ He wondered and she turned her body to him more, ready to explain her theory.
‘Okay, so he was supposed to be the killer in the third scream movie! He was cast and everything but they had to scrap the whole plot. It was going to be based on a school shooting but that was right as Columbine happened so they changed the whole movie. Respect for them not doing that, 100%, but it proves that canonically he is absolutely alive. I don’t really get the connection to this movie, but if people believe it then why not?’ He nodded along, enjoying himself as much she seemed to enjoy these horror plots.
‘You’re a horror movie girl, aren’t you?’
‘Yup. Which is weird cause I used to be terrified of all scary movies but now I love them. We should have a horror movie marathon, clearly you haven’t seen the Scream movies and if you haven’t seen them, what else haven’t you seen?!’
‘Most of them, I’m not much of a TV watcher. I mostly just paint in my free time, I’ve seen a few though. The one in the mask who tries to kill his sister.’
‘Michael Myers, Halloween.’ She said, instantly knowing what he was talking about.
‘The Hick who has a chainsaw and wears people’s faces?’
‘Leatherface, Texas Chainsaw Massacre.’
‘The demon people, one of them has pins all over his head?’
‘Pinhead, HellRaiser. Truly an amazing movie, probably one of my favorite plot lines.’ He was amazed at how she knew every one of these from just the simple descriptions, he knew they were probably popular but it was so cute how sure and excited she was.
‘And the guy with knives for hands.’ Her eyebrows raised as he said this.
‘I’m going to assume you mean Freddy Kruger from Nightmare on Elm Street as we’re talking about horror movies and not Edward Scissorhands which is a sad movie that ripped my soul from my body. It a great movie but it’s sad as hell. Why are people so mean to everyone just because they’re different?’ He shrugged at this.
‘People will always judge what they don’t understand, especially when it’s other people. It’s always been that way.’ He knew from personal experience and Y/n seemed to hear the emotion in his voice because she reached over and took his hand in hers.
‘People suck. Cheese fry?’ She offered, holding out the box and he took one, watching as she bit into a couple as the lights went down. He was thankful for his vampire vision as he leaned back into the seat and kept his eyes on her. She was fascinated by the movie but he was fascinated by her. Klaus watched as she ate, finally getting to watch her eat a meal that wasn’t a snack in a cafeteria. The idea that he had provided his girl food, a real meal (for seemingly the first time since he first saw her 3 days ago) was satisfying to say the least. He stared as she ate her fries, her tongue peeking out every now and again to lick the cheese from her lips, causing his cock to twitch every single time. The moan that came from her as she first bit into a piece of chicken had him fully hard and completely desperate, watching as her tongue licked the honey mustard from her finger, her lips wrapping around her thumb and sucking on it with a “pop” as she pulled it from her mouth. He was so lost in his thoughts as he watched her perfect little mouth, he didn’t even hear the words that came from it. ‘Nik? You okay?’
‘Hmm? Yes! Of course, I’m great…you’re so damn gorgeous, and it’s distracting.’ Her cheeks turned red as he said this and she couldn’t hide it from him.
‘You are really sweet…please tell me this isn’t some kind of weird joke.’ As she said this his mind was ripped from his fantasies, confused as to why she would think something like that.
‘What? That’s crazy, why would you-‘
‘You walked into a movie theater without a ticket, came up to the food counter and asked me out to then buy a ticket and buy me dinner. You’re either the oddest and luckiest man in the world considering I was finished my shift when you came in, or this was planned and someone put you up to it…I’m an 18 year old girl in high school on a date with a hot dude in his 20’s…you can at least imagine why I’m a bit skeptical?’ She looked sad and he hated that he had caused it…why is this girl getting to him like this?!
‘I’m sorry that you feel the need to be skeptical of someone asking you out. I admit, I planned to ask you on a date. I saw you yesterday and I thought you were lovely so I decided to ask you out, I thought taking you to a movie after work would be a nice idea, I also thought you would enjoy relaxing and watching a movie right after your shift-‘ A look of guilt overtook her eyes as she realized how much thought he put into asking her on this date and she felt horrible instantly.
‘Oh God…I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m a bitch! I-‘
‘No you’re not, relax love. It’s okay, I can see why you were questioning the situation. I want to take you out again, I enjoy you already and I admittedly enjoy feeding you.’ Her eyes widened a bit but she couldn’t turn more red than she already was.
‘Oh…okay? I-I can honestly say I haven’t heard that one before but it sounds nice to me.’ She joked as he reached out, picking up a French fry and feeding it to her, grunting as she wrapped her lips around the tip of his thumb to get the melted cheese off of his skin, taking her time a bit too much as she did this and Klaus couldn’t hold in his groan.
‘Christ Y/n, you’re going to be the death of me.’
Through the rest of their date Klaus enjoyed feeding his girl nearly all of the food he had bought her, her insisting he at least have some as well and he brought her home that night, pressing his lips to hers sweetly and deciding he liked that his girl blushed 90% of their time together.
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It was 3 days later that he found out why he was so desperate for this girl more than any other in his entire lifetime.
They had been texting almost all day every day along with him visiting her daily, Klaus getting everything ready to break his curse and actually getting it done with some help from his annoying elder brother (after he tried to murder him) before running off into the forest, his wolf determined to get where he needed to be.
It was the first time in 1000 years that Klaus could hear his wolf in his head the way other werewolves could. In the almost month he had been a Hybrid 1000 years ago he had gotten used to him being there and the curse had taken that from him.
As his paws slammed against the dirt, sprinting through the forest Klaus couldn’t help but wonder where they were going and he quickly got his answer.
“Mate!” The voice he had so sorely missed, growled roughly.
“Mate?” He wondered, having heard the term before but knowing that werewolves finding their mates was extremely rare. Maybe because they were so far out of time if Klaus’ mate being alive 1000 years after his human life was an indication. “Y/n is my mate…no wonder I’m so drawn to her!” A happy feeling was bubbling up in his chest as he realized he had finally found his mate, something he had hoped could exist for him since he found out soulmates were real for wolves.
“Need Mate! Need Mate Now!” The aggressive growl was almost concerning to him as his paws slowed to a trot when he arrived at the home he had been visiting his girl in for the last few days.
“She’s going to be scared! We can’t let her see us-Stop!” He snapped, feeling stupid that he was literally shouting at himself.
“Mate Knows! Mate Not Stupid!” His wolf snarled, sounding offended by the idea that she didn’t know who he was. He scratched at the apartment door and Klaus tried to control his body, to run back into the trees and away from her when the door swung open and his Mate looked down at him in shock.
‘I have to be honest, didn’t see this coming Nik. I mean I got the whole “Nik-Klaus” thing, Elijah told us all your real name but…what exactly do you want me to do with this?’ She asked, clearly entertained by him showing up in his wolf form. He whined, scratching at the doorframe which made her chuckle. ‘Okay, you can come in Niklaus-oh, okay.’ He walked into her apartment before she was even done speaking, hopping up onto the couch and staring up at her as if waiting for something to happen. ‘I seriously thought your interest in me was a joke when I realized who you were. Damon was making fun of me for falling for it…you’re actually into me, aren’t you? Cause I figure you being here right now means either you really like me or you plan to rip me to shreds in my own home. Which is it?’ She asked him and Klaus rolled his eyes, laying his head onto her lap when she sat down beside him on the couch. ‘Oh…good…I could get used to this.’
For the rest of the evening Klaus lounged on Y/n’s couch with her, watching horror movies from the extensive list that she had made of “Horror Movies Nik Needs to Watch”. He also enjoyed once again watching as she ate her dinner, or his personal favorite, watching her eat a pint of ice cream. God, he wants her tongue on his cock so badly, which she noticed as it was on display and larger than one would expect. To her credit, she ignored it for quite a long time, pretending it wasn’t there until the voice in his head made it physically impossible any longer. He was talking about all the different ways he wanted to bend her over and fuck her tight little cunt until she was begging him to stop, practically drooling over how her tongue peeked out and licked the ice cream off of the spoon, desperate to watch her lick his cream off of his hard cock which is around the time his member began leaking onto the blanket underneath him on the couch.
‘Nik?’ She questioned and he lifted his head from her lap to look up at her, as if pretending he hadn’t been staring at her this whole time. ‘Do you need help?’ He tilted his head as if asking her what she meant…she couldn’t possibly mean- ‘Do you need help with your…problem? It’s distracting and it seems to be getting worse.’
At this moment Klaus is happy that he is not just a vampire, but also in his wolf form and unable to show her how embarrassed he is with a look on (what would now be) his completely red face. He couldn’t stop the slight whine that escaped him before jumping down from the couch and trotting over to the door, scratching the wood and waiting for her to release him. “Let Mate Help!” That aggressive voice piped up again and he tried to shove it back down.
‘I didn’t mean I wanted you to leave, I…I mean if you wanted me to, I…it would have to be really fucking private, I mean if you ever told anyone I would skin you alive!’
Klaus suddenly felt his tail come to life, wagging around behind him like crazy as he released a small “yip” sound, moving back over and hopping up onto the couch again, nuzzling his nose against her cheek.
‘Ahh! It’s cold and wet!’ She was giggling and it was a sound that Klaus knew he adored from the moment he first heard it in the schools cafeteria. ‘I hope you realize that when you’re human again, I want an explanation as to why watching me eat gets you so worked up.’ She teased, moving from the couch to her knees. ‘Are all wolves cocks this big, or is it a werewolf thing?’
“Perfect Mate! Pretty, Perfect Mate! Need to Fuck Mate!” Klaus shook his head quickly as that thought came from nowhere, trying to keep his wolf from controlling anything else when suddenly his cock was enveloped into her hot mouth causing the pathetic sounding whine that exited him.
Her lips were stretched wide around his thick member as he now leaned back against the couch, wanting desperately to hold onto her hair but knowing that he can’t. He settled for one paw resting on the back of her head and couldn’t hold back the growl that burst from his chest, her tongue trailing over the head of his cock which nearly made him finish laughably fast.
You could have never convinced Klaus that this would be something that he wanted, in 1000 years the thought had crossed his mind, of course, but it wasn’t something that really got him off until now. Now, rutting into his mate was all he could think about like it was playing on a constant loop in his mind. As he looked down and saw her on her knees in front of him a content purr built up in his chest. He didn’t know how deeply he had longed for his mate, maybe if his wolf hadn’t been bound from him, he would have.
His thoughts were cut off by the choking noise that came from her as his large cock hit the back of her throat. “Perfect Mate! Perfect Little Tongue!” The growl that exploded from him made her eyes widen in fear before he was cumming in ropes into her mouth, her hand coming up to catch what leaked from her lips.
‘Fuck!’ She cursed after swallowing everything he had to give and looking up at him, as if an innocent little virgin who hadn’t just sucked his wolf cock into next year. ‘Do all werewolves cum that much?’ She giggled and he whined in response, leaning forward and licking her face. ‘I’m not doing that again until you prove how good you are in bed as a man first.’ She was teasing him but he nipped at her throat, catching the skin and watching a drop of blood rise to the surface. ‘Ow…shouldn’t you be out slaughtering innocent humans right now?’ He shook his head, which he’s sure looked like a dog shaking off the water after being in the rain. ‘But that’s what you were going to do before finding me?’ He didn’t respond to this, simply moving to lay down across her lap as she sat back on the couch. ‘It’s okay, I’ll still be here when you’re human again, go.’ He peeked up at her, from this angle the light made her look like an Angel sent from Heaven, as if a gift just for his devilish soul.
“Stay Close! Never Leave Mate! Never Again!” He really hopes that once he fucks his mate and makes her his that his wolf will calm down about her, he may be right but he’s intense.
‘Go Nik, I’ll be right here when you get back, I promise. I have nothing to do tomorrow, I will stay until you come and get me. When you do we’ll order take out and you can stare at me while I eat it.’ He sat up, making a questioning noise that he honestly didn’t know he could make. ‘I Promise.’ She insisted, jumping up and opening the back door towards the woods. ‘I won’t leave, I won’t open the door for anyone either. Get, before you get needier and decide to hump me in my sleep.’ He did as she said, leaving out the back door and taking one final look at her before he was gone, running through the woods as he had always longed for, every day of his immortal life since it was snatched away from him and for the first time in his very long life, knowing that he had someone to come back to.
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Klaus Mikaelson Masterlist
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wintersera · 1 year
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kayeeee :]
could we please get some milf!karina crumbs.. i just need her to absolutely destroy babysitter!reader whether it’s with her g!p or her strap tbh!also maybe a breeding kink too if comfy with that?
-your pookie sugar but from a different universe (different blog,i’m just being extra)
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milf!karina x babysitter!f reader
notes: HNNG MILF KARINA AND BABYSITTER READER WITH A FUCKING BREEDING KINK? oh sugar you’re so full of thoughts. i added mommy kink reader because of that liz one you wrote. enjoy 🫶
cw: sugar mommy milf karina, mommy kink, breeding kink, dom karina, sub reader, use of toys (strap), strap being called ‘cock’, praise, oral (giving).
word count: 2.2k
the day you received a request to babysit someone's child was the day god blessed you fr.
you didn’t believe what you were seeing. as soon as you walked into her house you first noticed the expensive and modern interior design. you were shocked beyond belief, but what got you even more shocked was no one else but the owner. clad in sleek black clothing, rich and mature aura seeping out from her presence alone. she had your heart skipping, not one, but multiple heart beats. with a child hiding behind her leg she introduced herself with poise
“the names yu jimin, but you can call me karina, love. i assume your name is y/n? is that right my dear”
“y-yes, l/n y/n. i’m here to babysit your child… if this is the right address- i mean, your house is so expensive an-“ horribly fumbling over your words she cuts you off with her rich silky chuckle.
“i can assure you that you’re at the right location, dear. now, i’ve got some business to attend to. so please allow me to explain the rules of my house before i leave you and my child alone” and she does so. delicately telling you what and what not you can do in her household. you train your eyes on the curves of her body and her gorgeously sculpted features gracefully adorning her face, unable to look away you grow flushed. she looked exactly like what you thought an angel looked like and by god, you know this woman was going to be the death of you “…and that's all, now run along, my meeting is in 15 minutes” watching her attentively as she walks to her big front door and enters her freshly bought lamborghini.
making yourself comfortable in the house, you do the basic babysitting things. looking after and playing with the kid whenever she got bored, cooking meals for her and all that jazz. finally, after all the hard work, you plop yourself down on the big leather chair located in their living room. feeling at peace now that the kid is finally asleep after hours of insisting that she should go to bed, you find yourself growing sleepier. needless to say you passed out right there.
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morning came and you’re awoken by the birds chirping and the rays of sunlight hitting your face. where exactly am i? you question. you’re in a king size bed in one of the guest rooms. is what you assumed. who exactly carried you here, you wonder. as if the timing couldn’t be any better, mommy- i mean karina, gently knocked on the bedroom door.
“y/n? are you awake dear? breakfast is ready would you like to accompany us at the dining table?” her morning voice sounding ever so lovely, as if the angels from heaven were strumming their harps in this room.
“i’ll be ready in just a minute, please wait for me” frantically slipping out of the bed realising that your day attire was replaced with a silky set of pyjamas. DID SHE PUT THIS ON ME? does that mean she… oh god did she strip me down? you’re insufferable, the notion setting you off feeling the return of your arousal eat at your stomach.
walking down the long hallway to the dining room was quite a trip, getting lost a couple of times because her house was unbelievably massive. thankfully a few maids were there to guide you, albeit being a little hesitant to ask them at first.
spread out in front of you was a plethora of different varieties of breakfast foods. ranging from pancakes to french toast to literally everything you could think of. “um… i don’t think i’ll be able to eat all of this”
“don’t be silly, y/n. eat what you can. my chefs are highly trained professionals i can guarantee that everything will be to your liking” saying this all while she’s motioning for you to sit right next to her.
“you know, it’s quite difficult not having a husband whilst you have a feisty little kid growing up. i’ve thought about this while you were asleep but would it be possible to have you as my personal babysitter? my little girl already loves you as her nanny” turning to you with a warm smile placed upon her face. “oh, and i assure you the price will be generous”
“well of course. i’ll gladly take up the opportunity if you’re offering” smiling back at her. little did you know, but she found you ever so charming.
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a few weeks into your job and you’re already doing very well, accompanying karina and her kid whilst they go shopping. seeing brand names you’ve never even heard of being presented to you and being treated like you too were a millionaire. it was all bizarre to you, it was like she was treating you as if you were her sugar baby.
a couple more weeks of working and you’ve grown closer to her. sitting next to her while she was doing her work, or even laying next to her while you both watch movies and shows on her massive couch. talking to her on the nights she was available and texting her during her work hours. it felt as if you two were together, romantically.
there were times when she’d leave light touches on your body, brushing it over in a joking way, or simply saying that she likes you very much that she’s comfortable with you.
over the next month things started to change more. you’d often spend most of your time at her house so you grew comfortable with her presence, but it seemed a little more different than before. dressing more lightly and touching you more than ever drove you mad. seeing her in less clothing as everyday goes past while she makes subtle innuendos as she’s leaning into your ear. but thank the lord the kid was somewhere lurking around, if it wasn’t for the kid you would’ve pounced on karina right there.
fortunately for you the schools had reopened, sending the kid off with karina.
but you couldn’t pull yourself to do it, having some ounce of shame in you, you couldn’t do that to lovely miss yu jimin. however, as soon as you two had entered the house, karina pushes you into the wall, breathing heavily, she kisses your lips with hunger, hiking up the shirt she lent you for today. shocked by the urgency in her actions you immediately pull her away “wait- hold on a minute what are you doing” panting heavily from the sudden kiss.
“my apologies, i thought you felt the same way as i” pulling herself off of you, looking at the ground in shame.
grabbing her wrist you assure her, “no, keep going. i was just startled, that's all” with that she continued, kissing you with passion and hunger. carrying on from where she was, she slithered her hand up your already hiked up shirt, fondling your breasts as she slips her tongue in your mouth, receiving a low groan from you. turned on by this you tug the back of her blazer, wanting more from her. reading your actions, she pushes a knee in between your thighs, pressing your core gently as she continues to play with your breasts, this time pulling the bra down. eyeing your tits as they fall out in the most perfect way to her. with your now exposed breasts, she begins to play at your nipples, rolling them around gently in her fingertips. cooing at how you’re so pretty for her.
“c-can i ask you something?” struggling to use your words you manage to spill out a request through your whimpering.
“you may”
“can i call you m-mommy?” blood rushing to your face as you say that.
upon hearing that, something in karina had snapped. dragging you to her bedroom, she smirks at you as she undresses herself. “you want to call me mommy? well, anything for mommy's little baby” teasing you with your own words you feel even more turned on. sitting at the edge of her bed she beckons you to come kneel between her thighs, “come” you oblige. “make mommy feel good and i’ll give you a reward for being such a good girl” intoxicated with the smell of her arousal, you pull her lacy black lingerie aside, flicking her clit as she squirms around you. feeling your tongue working hard on her clit, she grabs your hair in her hand, wanting to feel your tongue even closer on her she pushes you closer to her hips, rocking them to the rhythm of your licking. legs threatening to close, you keep them apart with a gentle grip on her thigh.
“fuck.. you’re such a good girl “ moaning out, looking down at you with hooded eyes, “keep g-going, mommys close” working hard, you start lapping up violently, teasing two fingers at her dripping hole. as you let your digits slide slowly in her, a guttural moan escaping her lips, feeling that her walls are clenching around you already you knew she was on the edge of her climax. to send her over the edge you suck hard on her clit, as you work in and out of her hole, hitting her in all the right ways. “a-ah.. oh god, baby you’re doing so good” praise as your motivation you work harder than you ever did before, quickening up your pace as you fail to keep her legs open, therefore her thighs squeezing around your head. it’s not like you dislike it anyways, you loved it.
throwing her head back, she lets out a long pornographic moan, gripping your hair as her thighs suffocate you.
euphoria washing over her body. she helps you stand up, heavily panting as she wipes her juices off of your chin and face, eagerly placing a finger in your mouth to lick it straight off. “you’ve made mommy feel so so good baby, now for your reward. sit on the bed for a moment, let me get something for my dearest.”
you lay on your back, waiting for her to call you. rattling coming from her drawer, you could only guess that it’s a toy. excited for what's in store for you, you sit up, watching as she puts on a large, beautifully crafted, black strap. gulping as she approaches you, placing herself in between your thighs this time.
“mommy, are you sure this can fit in me?”
“don’t worry my baby, i’m certain it will” supporting herself on your thighs with her two hands, she pushes the strap slowly and deeply into you, tip kissing your cervix.
crying out, tears streaming down your face from the immense amount of pleasure and pain, “fuck- mommy… your cock is filling me up, breed me p-please” cooing at you she kisses your lips softly.
“you’re taking me good, fuck, y/n carry my children for me. you’ll be the perfect mother for my kids” jerking her hips suddenly, making you scream her name out loud. you didn’t really care if the maids heard you. with care, she pounds hard into your pussy, creating lewd wet noises from how wet you are. “god, y/n baby you’re so wet for mommy, don’t i make you feel so good?” now gripping onto your hips, holding them steady so she can fuck herself harder into your needy womb. wanting you to bear her children she fucks you with fervour, her eyebrows furrowing as she concentrates on her rhythm.
with every thrust she gives you, you notice how her tits bounce up and down. wanting to suck on them badly, you cough out another request “mm- ah fuck.. mommy can i suck on your tits?” nodding in response she picks you up from the back, laying herself flat on the bed and you sitting up riding her cock.
“suck then”
leaning down to her chest you lick around her nipples, flicking and pulling them, moaning as you basically make out with her nipples. continuing to rail into you, she grabs your ass with both of her hands, lifts you up just to slam you right back into her cock. “f-fuck.. mommy, cum- cum in me please. i want you to fill me up” although a bit sad that she can't shoot her load into you ripe womb, she keeps up with the roleplay, saying that
“i’ll fuck your pussy until you’re leaking with my cum”
feeling how tight you are being more of a struggle to manoeuvre her strap inside you, she thrusts harder, knowing that you’re on the verge of cumming. “mommy please, f-faster, don’t stop- gonna cum, so good” strings of praises and ‘don’t stops’ spilling out off your mouth as you continue to rock your hips on her, leaning back down to once again suck her tits.
you’re inevitable high hits you like a truck. cumming hard on her dick, you scream profanities as you clutch onto her shoulders, gritting your teeth as you still unconsciously buck your hips.
coming back to reality, you panic “karina, what time is the kid coming back?” giggling, she looks at you with adoration in her eyes.
“not anytime soon, my dear. we have more time” she playfully smirks at you.
safe to say you guys pretty much fucked until you had to pick up the kid.
1K notes · View notes
ireadwithmyears · 10 months
Text
address the letters: “to the holes in my butterfly wings”
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pairing: Kix and GN padawan reader (platonic)
Word count, guys it’s basically 10 K 💀bc apparently I am in capable of writing anything short.
tags/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, mentions of blood and injury, medical procedures
summary:
In which, the CMO of Torrent Company discovers that you, a Padawan under his care have been hiding injuries and skipping medical checks, and now must take care of you as you suffer the consequences of your actions.
Also known as
Why you should never hide an injury from Kix. he will find out, and he will drag you off to the medbay so that he can take care of whatever mess you’ve made of yourself, scolding you all the wile.
“Look what I found on my bunk.”
You’re interrupted from eating your sandwich in the Cantina when Fives plops down beside you at the table, setting down a tray of food and waving a pink slip of paper in your face.
You’re about to tell him that “Can’t you see that you’re eating and get this paper out of my face,” when your eyes catch on three words written in bold text across the top of the page.
Mandatory vaccination updates. 
The sandwich, that up until this point has been the absolute centre of your attention, listen, you’re fighting a war and you have to appreciate any opportunity that you get to eat food that isn’t bland ration bars, drops out of your suddenly limp hand as you snatch up the paper, now very interested in the contents.
“When did you get this?” you ask slowly, you’re voice distracted, beginning to chew on your lower lip, already feeling the nervous coil in your stomach.
“When I came back to my bunk after the debriefing we had this afternoon. Apparently everyone got one. I bet you 10 credits that your master is going to pretend that he didn’t see it, and try and avoid it until Kix has to tear apart the ship looking for him and drag him to the medbay.” Fives chuckles.
Master Skywalker’s reputation for trying to avoid the medbay at all costs is widely known throughout Torrent Company..
“Kix is going to have a field day. I’ll give it to general Skywalker, he has some creative hiding places,” he continues, eyes lighting up at the memory of Anakin, half hazardously crammed into a supply closet, folded in an impressive, yet uncomfortable looking position as he forced his unwitting tall limbs to fit in the cramped space.
Unfortunately for Kix, your masters habit of avoiding the medbay whenever possible has rubbed off on you, though, you don’t think it’s for the same reason. Your avoidance stems from a place of fear, and, okay, a stubborn insistence that you can take care of yourself, which yes, definitely like master, like apprentice.
But that also stems from a fear. You’re determined to prove yourself, especially being a young Padawan working with those who are much more experienced than you. You don’t want to risk being taken off the field because of some stupid injury, and letting those who rely on you down, especially your master, who’s always bouncing back and getting up and ready to take on whatever is next regardless of what kind of peril he’s just come out of. You want, you need, to prove that just because you’re a Padawan, you’re not a liability, but an asset. You can be strong and resilient like master Skywalker.
So, you avoid. You dodge and you ignore and you pretend not to notice when the routine medical check dates come and go without your attendance. You know it’s only a matter of time before Kix gets on your ass about it. You’re surprised that you’ve kept it up this long. But, this only bolsters your confidence in being able to avoid another successfully.
“I’ll be right back,” you say, trying to sound nonchalant, setting the paper back down on the table before you run off into the crowd.
*
Sure enough, there is an identical slip of paper that’s been placed on your bunk. But conveniently, Jedi master Aayla Secura is going on a diplomatic mission to amid rim planet in a last ditch effort to try and convince them not to secede from the republic during the date that’s listed on the page when you’re scheduled for your vaccinations.
Earlier this morning, master Skywalker had asked if you had wanted to join this mission, saying that it would give you a break from being on the frontlines, and it would be easy enough to arrange, as master Secura would rendezvous with the 501st before she departed.
This morning, you had turned him down, listing several reasons as to why you needed to stay with the 501st. Your troops needed you, diplomatic missions were boring anyways, and you didn’t think that you would be of much help to the experienced and capable master Secura, who was a formidable diplomat in her own right. You didn’t think you would be able to add anything of particular value to the conversation, at least nothing that master Secura wouldn’t be able to say much more eloquently and better.
Now though, the only thing that’s running through your mind is the fear of needles and the dread of going into the medbay and that’s enough to make you reconsider everything you had said.
When you tell master Skywalker that you’ve changed your mind, and would actually like to accompany Aayla on her mission, he’s slightly confused considering you had been so adamant that you were needed here only just a few hours ago. 
But, he knows that as a Jedi, you need diplomatic experience. Experience that, before the war, would be very easy for Padawan’s to come by. He knows that you don’t have nearly as much as you should.
These are unprecedented times, though, and Padawan’s being trained during an active war is not ideal. He wants for you to be well-rounded. He has hope that your future won’t always involve war at the centre of it, and any opportunity that you get to learn how to be a keeper of peace should always be encouraged, especially during these times.
 So he gives in pretty easily, and when master Secura arrives, you happily join her. When the ramp of the ship seals behind you and you’re sitting with her in the cockpit, the warm relief that flows through your bones is palpable. 
“Success,” you think to yourself triumphantly.
*
Your triumph, however glorious it might have felt in the moment, is short-lived.
In spite of the fact that some old injuries, that you honestly thought you had done a pretty good job at taking care of yourself, were starting to aggravate you again, the unexpected joy and relief that weaved itself through the force, openly shared between you and master Secura, surrounded you like a warm blanket, protecting you from feeling the things that hurt you.
The planet you had just visited had agreed to stay with the republic, after a tense three days of debate between its political factions. The victory Was a surprise, considering how vehemently the opposition pushed to secede, but it was not unwelcome.
Aayla’s T-6 shuttle docks in the hanger bay of the much larger 501st transport. As you wait for the doors to open and the ramp to fold down before you, you’re still riding on that high, feeling, for the first time in a long time, the thrill of a success. One that you are unable to feel on the frontlines, because even when your battles result in a victory, you are surrounded by so much death and violence that in the end, you don’t really feel like celebrating. 
You’ll never admit it to your master, but privately, you think to yourself that maybe diplomatic missions aren’t as boring as you thought they were. You were able to help resolve a conflict, peacefully, without even having to brush your fingers against the hilt of your lightsaber, which, nowadays, is becoming more and more of a rare occurrence. But it’s what Jedi do, or at least, what they’re supposed to do, so you have to embrace the gratitude of the experience you just had, and try and take it with you going forward.
Your thoughts are preoccupied with these ideas swirling around your head, so you don’t see him until you’re stepping out onto the ramp of the T-6, descending into the hectic and busy as usual crowds of the hanger bay.
When you do, though, you stop dead, and your heart begins to race. 
Shit.
Directly in front of you, at the bottom of the ramp, stands Kix.
One look at his expression, and your stomach flips.
His lips are set in a thin, unreadable line, his brow creased as he observes you with pinpoint focus. Stern, brown eyes observe your every movement. There’s no question that the second you step off the ramp, he’s going to pounce on you like a cat seizing a mouse. 
He stands at attention, body forced into an unbending straight line, such positions you mostly see on the shiny’s, new troopers who are freshly trained during their first days out on the field. His hands are placed on his hips, the position that he assumes before he’s about to give someone, it’s usually your master who you’ve seen it directed at, the lecture of their life.
“Keep moving,” your brain supplies. “Act nonchalant, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll be fine.”
You feel your feet hit solid ground, and your speed picks up, all along, your brain is screaming at you to move. It’s weird how now that he’s standing in front of you, every injury you’ve accumulated over the past weeks is beginning to hit you, all comfort and protection that the force has been giving you to keep you going rapidly vanishing with each step you take.
The uncomfortable angle that your shoulder is sitting at, the pulling of stitches in your leg as you increase your speed. It throbs and aches with sudden abandon. But your fists clench, and you do your best not to falter under Kix’s unwavering scrutiny, just knowing that he’s looking for any flicker of weakness, any sign of pain that registers on your face.
“Just keep going, and maybe, you’ll be able to slip past...”
He steps in front of you, reaching an arm out to easily intercept your path. He says your name, in a tone that breaches absolutely no room for trying to ignore it.
You jump, startled in spite of yourself. He’s effectively got you cornered, and seeing that there’s no way out of this, Your nerves begin to skyrocket, raising like the sound of alarm bells in your head. You look up, eyes meeting his unwaveringly stern expression, And suddenly, you wish that the floor would open up and swallow you whole.
He looks down at you, and he must see something in your disposition that belies your true feelings, because though his face remains set, his eyes somewhat soften, and when he next speaks, his voice is quiet but firm.
“Come with me, please. I need to see you in the medbay.” Though he’s phrased it as a request, you know that it is an order, and one that you must follow.
As a medic for the GAR, and this is something that you’ve heard him say to many a complaining troopers being escorted to the medbay when they don’t want to go, it is well within his rights to exercise such authority and make these orders. Because when it comes to the health and safety of every 501st personnel, whether you’re a Jedi general, commander, or Padawan, Kix immediately outranks you.
You look down at the floor, suddenly finding the marks that are speckled across it very interesting, and mumble a defeated and quiet “Yes sir.” 
When he turns, and you hesitate to follow, he lets out a gentle sigh, moving to place a hand on the small of your back. His voice is low, but reassuring as he ushers you forward.
“Come on, kid, you’re okay,” he breathes, and in spite of the fact that you’re still thinking that jumping out of an airlock would be better than this, your feet, still unwilling, but the slightest bit reassured, begin to move.
*
Coric giving you a subtle pitying glance as he’s reading over a patient’s chart when Kix escorts you into the medbay makes you want to vomit.
Between the two medics,  Kix has the reputation of being a hardass because he’s the CMO. Make no mistake, you do not want to get on either of their bad sides. But, given the choice between the two right now, you think you’re more equipped to handle Coric, who can usually be counted on to soften the blow a bit, with enough pleading glances and apologies.
Your eyes flit to the door that you’ve just passed through, because stupidly, your brain is still trying to make the calculations that if you can just duck out of Kix’s grasp for two seconds, you’d be able to make a run for it.
Unbeknownst to you, however, both medics have been carefully observing your every movement since you’ve entered. Coric, remaining completely calm and at ease, rises to his feet, moving swiftly to stand in the doorway in several long strides. He casually leans against the frame, arms folded.
“Don’t even think about it, baby Jedi. Your master has attempted the same thing you are considering, and he has always failed,” he says, keeping his voice light and non-threatening, making it clear that you need to give up on your fantasy of bolting out of here, but also not trying to scare you off..
You’re just beginning to wonder how the kriff they were able to read you so easily, with one covert glance determining that you were about to bolt when Kix removes his hand from the small of your back, instead, fingers coming to gently grip your shoulder.
The change in his hold is obvious. He is fully prepared for if you try to run. He gives your shoulder a squeeze, in what you interpret as a warning not to. 
Unfortunately, he’s just touched on an injury, you’re not entirely sure what you did, but you messed up your shoulder the last time you were on the field, and even the slight pressure elicits a sharp intake of breath that you’re unable to stop from escaping your lips, and that immediately has the attention of both medics laser focussed on you.
Kix’s anticipation evaporates and quickly melts into concern. Carefully, so carefully, he turns you to face him, keen eyes sharp as they analyze your face.
“Hey,” he calls softly, waiting for you to look at him. “Tell me where it hurts,” he says, so gently that it makes your eyes burn with shame. You look down at your feet.
“That’s uh... that’s, a loaded question,” you admit sheepishly, trying to keep your tone light and joking, in spite of the fact that now that you’re thinking about it, the list of injuries you’ve sustained without reporting to the medbay is a lengthy one, and might make Kix have a stroke.
Kix lets out a controlled, slow breath, eyes momentarily finding the ceiling as he silently begs the stars to give him strength. 
“Kaysh Mirsh solus,” he mutters to himself.
You’ve heard Kix toss that phrase around the medbay on multiple occasions, and though you’re uncertain of what it actually means, he usually brings it out when one of his brothers has done something that he would consider incredibly stupid, which is often.
Coric makes a noise of agreement. “It appears that our stupidly self-sacrificing general has passed on his stupid self sacrificing behaviour onto his apprentice,” he groans. “Will we ever know a day of peace?” 
Kix looks back down at you, his expression calm and restrained. “Come on, then, let’s see what we’re dealing with here,” moving his hand to your uninjured shoulder, he steers you both further into the medbay.
*
Your eyes don’t leave the ground, but you can hear the sound of a privacy curtain being pulled shut around the cubicle that Kix has brought you to. 
When an eerily familiar pink slip of paper is being held up in front of your downcast eyes, you cringe, Arms wrapping around yourself in defence
You can’t even pretend that you haven’t seen it before, because the words mandatory vaccination updates have been circling around your brain the whole time you were out on your last mission.
“Do you know why the GAR enforces these?” Kix begins, and his voice is too measured and calm. 
You lift a brow, questioning. Does he seriously expect you to answer this? Isn’t the answer obvious? 
“Uh... so that we don’t get sick?” You answer, uncertain as to what he’s getting at.
He nods, his face displaying a slight flicker of approval. “Yes, that is one reason as to why, and it’s an acceptable one,” he acknowledges. His frown deepens as he continues. “However, one must look at the much larger picture, at every personnel aboard this ship. The most important reason why mandatory vaccinations are enforced is so that we can avoid many people getting sick and spreading illness to the rest of the crew, so that we may remain fully functional and operational, continuing to serve and protect the people of the republic.”
You squirm beneath the scrutiny of his gaze. You’re starting to see where he’s going with this, and it’s incredibly discomforting.
“I would’ve thought, that as a Jedi, you would be able to more easily see this bigger picture than most others,” he observes mildly. “After all, I know, and I’m sure everyone who spends a considerable amount of time with you can see that there is so much compassion and care for others within your very nature.”
His voice is so genuine, laced with such real kindness in his tone that it makes your eyes sting. Your heart constricts, because he’s just pointed out something that you hadn’t even considered in your selfish haste to avoid this.
By avoiding your vaccinations, you have put every member of the 501st who works with you in danger.
Your arms wrap  tighter around yourself, and you can’t bring yourself to look anywhere but at the pristine white floor beneath your feet.
Kix senses that he’s hit a mark, and his voice gentles considerably. “I also understand that you are young, and still learning to see the bigger picture and how your actions can affect those around you.”
“I, I didn’t, I was scared and I just I didn’t think about...” your voice trembles as you try to answer, tumbling out in a rush of words that race as quickly as your heart. 
“I understand, and it is perfectly reasonable for you to feel that way,” he keeps his voice level and measured. “However,” he continues, and you know what he’s about to say even before he says it. “We still have to face the things that scare us. If you had simply told me how you were feeling, we would have figured out a way to navigate it.” His face is reassuring when you dare to glance up from the floor that you’ve been resolutely staring at for this whole conversation.
“We still will figure out the best way to proceed. However, these vaccination updates are very low on my priority list of concerns when it comes to you, compared to this,” and he holds up a datapad, displaying medical records with your name typed neatly across the top.
The last several appointment entries are highlighted in red, indicating that you did not attend any of them. 
“Do I need to remind you that these appointments are not optional. Any member of Torrent Company who goes out on the field must report to the medbay upon return for examination, as well as attend our regular medical checks to ensure that you are fit for active duty.” It’s clear from the tone of his voice that this is a lecture that he is very practised in delivering.
You lift your head, finally looking directly at him. He’s already made you admit a fear that you desperately wanted to keep to yourself. You try and summon what remains of your dignity. 
“What do you want me to say, Kix?” There’s a hint of defiance in your voice. 
“Do you want me to admit that I avoided these because I had injuries that I didn’t want you to know about? Because yes, the truth is that I did.” Your eyes level with his as you try to make him understand. 
“I was scared of the medical procedures, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?” You snap, not particularly annoyed with him, but more annoyed at the fact that your answers sound so stupid out loud. 
“But I was more scared of the fact that you were probably going to take me off the field, and I couldn’t, I couldn’t let that happen. My master was relying on me. Everyone was relying on me, and I couldn’t let them down.” You try to shrug off his concern with a dismissive wave of your hand. “Besides, I’ve been doing fine,” you say evasively.
Kix does not rise to the bate of your seeming anger. He’s much too practised and controlled to let it affect him. He also has the uncanny ability to look at someone, and see everything, read through their feelings, whether they’ve been acknowledged or not, and understand them. So, even though you’re trying to push him away, with what at first glance appears to be frustration, underneath it all, he can tell that it’s just as plainly  fear.
He meets your storm filled eyes unflinchingly, levelling you with a look that is equal parts stern and unwavering, and equal parts concerned and filled with compassion. It makes your insides twist with guilt, and you want to look away, but you can’t bring yourself to as he speaks, his voice calm but steely.
“Are you fine?” he asks, an eyebrow raising as he tilts his head to look at you, his gaze clinical, assessing, even as you just stand there in front of him.
. “I already know that there’s something wrong with your shoulder. But aside from that, I’ve been observing you since you got off your transport. The way you move is slow and careful, not at all like the usual way you dash around the ship. Even now, you’re hesitating to put much weight on your right leg.” He ticks off the things he’s noticed on his fingers like a list.
“Apart from the fact that skipping these mandatory appointments have consequences. If you had kept this up, I would’ve had to bring this to our superiors, that includes the Jedi council,” he gives you a pointed look, even the mention of the high Council makes you shiver. in your experience, whenever you and your master have been summoned to speak with the council, it’s always to be reprimanded, and never good.
. “You could have been Court-martialed,” he says, knowing that his words will hit the severity of the situation home.  
You falter, stepping back as you feel your eyes go wide. “Court-martialed?” you breathe, feeling the blood draining from your face. 
He gently takes your arm, guiding you to sit on a bed as he continues, voice softening. “It is very clear that you are hiding injuries, and though I can understand why, in premise, You did this, the reality is that this will begin to affect your performance in battle. It will not just affect you. You will put yourself, as well as the entirety of the people you are leading, in danger. People could get hurt.  You could get hurt. Because you would be putting not just yourself, but others, in unnecessary danger, your ability to be in the position of a commander could be called into serious  question by your superiors, and for good reason” 
As much as he keeps his voice low and calm, you can sense that he’s disappointed in the way that you’ve handled yourself. Your teeth sink into the inside of your cheek, forcing the tears that prick at the back of your eyes to not fall. You hate disappointing people, and the fact that you’ve managed to disappoint Kix, one of the kindest people you know, makes you want to curl up into a ball and never show your face in public again.
“And that, the safety of yourself, and everyone aboard this ship, is my priority. It is much more important to me than having to report to any superior. The fact that you hold your safety, and by extension, the safety of  those around you, with such blatant disregard, is what concerns me the most, and that is what I need you to understand.” 
There’s a certain gravity in his voice that you’ve never heard before, but it slams into your chest and hits you like a ton of bricks. The implications of what you’ve been doing, of what could have happened to those around you, to his brothers, because of your inability to face your fears begin to swirl around your head with a rapidity that makes your heart race. 
These thoughts come unbidden, and too fast for you to process. The tears, that you’ve been so desperately trying to push back, spring free and begin to fall down your cheeks, unprompted, slowly, and silently. You don’t have time to stop them from coming.
Kix knows that he’s been very direct, and very blunt with you, deciding that this would be the only way to get through to you. He hates having to do it, though. Kix considers himself to be a fairly good judge of character, and he knows that you have such a caring, gentle heart and strong presence wherever you go. So, watching you break in front of him like this pains him.
Your breath hitches in an unsteady gasp as you look up at him, tears blurring your vision. 
“I’m sorry, Ori’vod,” your lip trembles as your voice breaks, wanting to curl in on yourself. “Ni ceta,” you get out in barely a choked whisper.
But he hears you, and it breaks him. 
You’ve never referred to him as ori’vod before, and the idea that you consider him as such, as a big brother, awakens his protective, instinctive nature to gather you close and keep you safe from harm. 
His Vod, mostly his batchmate, Jesse, calls it his mother hen instincts.
He can’t help it, though. Your voice, sounding so much smaller than he’s ever heard it, trembling and filled with tears, has broken what’s left of his resolve, and gently, very gently, mindful of the fact that you’re injured, he takes you into his arms, holding you close to him. Your head buries against his shoulder, and he easily cradles you there, feeling every sharp intake of breath as you cry.
“Oh, adika, shh,” he soothes, hand coming up to gently stroke your hair as he continues to speak softly to you. “You’re okay, I promise, everything is going to be alright. I’ve got you, we are going to sort this out.”
*
“Well,” he says, reading over the results of the medical scan he’s just performed. Would you believe me if I told you that a dislocated shoulder is the least of your concerns?” 
Your eyes find the ceiling, and you exhale a slow breath before asking, “how bad?”
He keeps his voice neutral as he relays the results of the scan to you. “According to your last medical check, you were diagnosed with Iron deficiency anemia, not incredibly uncommon, what with our limited access to rations and food with the proper nutrients,” his brow creases as he continues. “However, preliminary scans indicate that your haemoglobin levels haven’t much improved.”
He gives you a look.“You have been taking the supplement you were prescribed?” he asks, in a way that makes you suspicious that he already knows that the answer is no.
You avoid looking at him. “I was, but they kept making my stomach feel queasy all day, so I stopped.”  
Kix Lets out a long suffering sigh. “An issue that we easily could have rectified by changing your treatment plan if you had just let us know,” he scolds. “Nonetheless, I’d like to do a blood test to get exact confirmation of those levels and see how bad the numbers are so that we can Start getting them back up to baseline.” 
Your stomach does a flip and you cringe silently at the mention of a blood test.
Kix continues, consulting the scan results that are displayed on a datapad. “You’ve got untreated burns on your fingers.” He raises a curious eyebrow at you and your cheeks flush.
“They weren’t entirely untreated, I put them under running water,” you try to argue. The unimpressed look he gives you stops you dead in your tracks.
“It wasn’t entirely my fault,” you defend. “I was fixing one of the starfighters that got hit during our last airstrike. I got R2 to help me with the repairs but he wasn’t listening to my instructions. He crossed two of the wrong wires and caused the circuitboard to spark.”
“And that is why you should never ask R2 for help,” he says with a hint of amusement in his voice. “Those burns weren’t given time to heal, and the fact that you’re constantly wielding a lightsaber has exacerbated them. I will apply a burn ointment to them that should take away the pain and speed the process of healing.” 
He fixes you with a look.  
“The most concerning thing is The blaster wound on the front of your right  calf. Really, vod, you should know that injuries being treated and stitched up on the field, especially when not done by a medic, always should be looked over by a medic as soon as possible, due to the unsanitary environment that they were performed in.”
“Tup did his best to stitch it,” you say, feeling the need to defend the brother who, in spite of the fact that he was not a medic, sutured you up as you took cover from separatist battle droids.
“I don’t doubt that he did. I was the instructor who took every single one of the troopers on this ship through their mandatory medical courses, and I did not let them pass without proving that they were adequately able to handle emergency first aid on the field. However, it still remains that you’ve picked up an infection, and to treat it, the sutures will have to be removed, the wound reopened, and extraction of the infected tissue, as well as a course of both IV and oral antibiotics to clear up anything that remains.”
You stare at him, your eyes growing wide with horror as he explains. “How?” You ask, alarmed.
He senses your nerves and leans forward, taking your hand and running his thumb along the back of it reassuringly. “This is a surgical procedure, performed under general anesthesia.” 
You flinch at his words, and your fingers tighten around his with anxiety, needing something to hold onto. 
“I know that sounds scary, especially if you’ve never been put under before. But I promise, this is a fairly common operation. Me and Coric will both be here making sure that you’re okay the whole time.” he continues to stroke his thumb along the backs of your knuckles.
“Let’s take this one step at a time, though. We’ll take care of the things that are manageable, first,” he says, giving you an encouraging smile.
*
“Hey uh...” you say nervously, watching with anxiety fluttering in your stomach as Kix ties a band just above your elbow, prepping you for the blood draw. The way the band tightens, restricts  and squeezes around your arm Makes you feel trapped. You hate it.
“I have... I’ve had, issues in the past when it comes to these,” you say awkwardly, not knowing how to explain.
Kix only looks up at you, raising a perceptive brow. “Are you referring to your predisposition of fainting whenever a blood draw is performed?” he asks, completely unfazed. 
It’s your turn to raise your eyebrows in questioning. “Don’t worry, Coric already has this listed in your file. I’m going to get you to lie down when we do it.”
He has the sensitivity and grace not to mention the fact that he also knows this because he walked into the medbay to find Coric absolutely tearing into a junior medic for letting you leave too soon after you had gotten a blood draw, resulting in you crumpling to the floor in a faint right outside of the medbay doors. 
At your continued staring, he adds, his voice softening. “It’s a normal reaction, that likely is exacerbated because of your low haemoglobin levels. There’s nothing wrong with you, Vod’ika.” he reassures, gently guiding you to lay down on the bed. “Now, just lay down for me, and we’ll get this over with quickly, and if you faint, you faint. It happens, no big deal, I’ll be right here regardless.”  
And because you’re you, you do faint.
The needle itself is always not as bad as you anticipate it being. The Sting, though prominent,  is small and quick and over before you have time to fixate on it. 
It’s only when he’s pressing a cotton swab into the crook of your arm, encouraging you to keep it in place while he puts a Band-Aid over top, that you register the familiar feeling of drowsiness, vision blurring and ears beginning to ring, that always comes before you pass out.
You think that you might give him some indication, some warning, because he’s removing your hand from where it’s been pressing against the cotton round, replacing it with his own, much more steady one. Everything around you is muffled, and it’s jarring, but in a way that is too far away from your immediate concerns to really react to it.
When you come to, he’s pressing a cool, damp cloth to the back of your neck, other hand gently stroking hair away from your forehead. His voice fades back into your consciousness, a stream of gentle, soothing words as your eyes flutter open.
The feeling of the cloth cools your heated skin, and the hand gently running through your hair brings your senses back to focus, grounding you.
“Easy, adika, i’m right here, you’re safe,” he brushes his fingers against your cheek, and when you react, leaning into his touch, he gives you a small smile. “That’s it, there we go, you’re back. Everything’s good,” he soothes, gently stalling your movement when you attempt to sit up.
“Not right now, vod, stay down for a few more minutes. I’ve already got the blood work running through the scanner, and we should have its results quickly, okay.” You give him a small nod, still not really having the energy to do much else. You close your eyes, taking deep breaths as you come back to yourself, and when the scanner beeps, indicating that it completed its diagnostics, you jump slightly.
Kix moves over to check it as you slowly sit up. “Okay, so, your numbers are definitely not nearly where they should be he says, clearly unimpressed.
“But, Once we have taken care of your more serious injuries, will start you with an iron infusion delivered through an IV before transitioning back to pills. Don’t worry, we’ll have you on a much smaller dosage so that we can hopefully circumvent the discomfort you had in your stomach,” he says with optimism, which makes you feel slightly better about the fact that he’s just mentioned an IV. You’re not given much time to fixate on it, though, because he’s already turning away from the scanner, moving back to you.
“Let’s not worry about that right now, though. We have enough problems having to deal with the mess That you’ve made of yourself. I will do my best to resist calling you a di’kut as much as possible,” he says, hands on his hips, and in spite of yourself, it actually makes you laugh.
*
You didn’t realize how sore and irritated the burns on your hands were until you couldn’t hold back the audible sigh of relief that fell from your lips as soon as Kix began applying the burn cream to them. The pain instantly vanished, leaving a pleasant, cooling sensation behind. He wrapped small bacta patches around your injured fingers, explaining that it would make sure that the healing process was unimpeded by the outside environment.
That was easy, quick, painless. 
Your shoulder, on the other hand, is a completely different matter. As soon as Kix touches it, as gentle as he can be, it flares with pain, and your muscles tense, which just makes it worse. 
“I don’t know how you’ve been functioning with this for as long as you have,” he comments dryly. When his fingers press against the bone, assessing the damage with a practised familiarity, you cry out, eyes squeezing shut.
“Haar’chak,” you grit out, as behind you, Kix preps a syringe with local anesthetic. 
“Which one of my di’kut brothers taught you curse words in Mandoa?” he asks, beginning to disinfect the injection site.
You flinch at the cold and your cheeks flush. “Shit, you weren’t supposed to hear that. I can’t tell you that, I made a promise.” 
“Did you now?” he asks, fighting the amused smirk that plays on his lips. “Well, whoever it was, you might as well put your skills that they taught you to use.”
You look at him from over your shoulder, eyebrows raising in confusion.
He explains, “I need to give you an injection of local anaesthetic so that it takes the edge off of resetting your shoulder correctly. I know those aren’t your favourite , so, I am making a deal with you. Let me do this, and I give you free rein to throw whatever Mandoa insult my brothers have taught you at me, no consequences. Is that fair?”
The unimpressed look you’re giving at the syringe turns to surprise, then, slowly, a smile spreads across your face and you nod, quickly looking away from it. “Deal,” you accept, your voice still shaky with nerves but determined.
“Okay, deep breath for me,” He waits for you to inhale. “Perfect, now, on the exhale, give me that insult with all of your might. Ready?”
He waits for you to nod, then prompts you to exhale as he administers the anaesthetic into the back of your shoulder.
“Osi’yaim, that hurt, you di’kut,” what should be just a little pinch to your already injured shoulder makes you cry out the words, and you swear you can hear the familiar sound of Coric laughing from the other side of the medbay.
Your cheeks flush, you did not intend to be that loud. But you don’t apologize, either, and Kix only gives you a rueful grin, nodding in understanding.  
As you wait for the anaesthetic to settle, Kix warns, “I’m gonna be honest, kid, because of how long you’ve left this injury to sit, even with the anesthetic, setting it is still going to hurt.” 
You close your eyes, grimacing, before nodding with a sigh. “Do your worst,” you say, bracing yourself.
He lays a reassuring hand on your uninjured shoulder. “I need you relaxed, adika,” he says gently. “Trust me, it will only hurt more if you tense like that,” he continues, gently encouraging your shoulder downward with his hand.
“Easy, now. I want you to give me some good deep breath’s. In,” he inhales deeply, holding for a few seconds, “and out,” he lets his breath go in a controlled, slow stream of air.
He waits for you to copy, giving you a few breaths to settle into it as he prepares himself. “Perfect, just like that, keep it up, you’ve got this,” he keeps up the stream of encouraging words as carefully, but firmly, he rotates your arm, guiding your dislocated shoulder back into its proper place with one precise movement.
The sudden flare of pain, even dulled as it is by the anesthetic, takes your breath away momentarily, your vision instantly blurring with tears. When it clears,Kix has shifted to standing in front of you, gently wiping them away with his thumbs.
“Well done, vod’ika, you were so brave,” his words make you want to cry more, because you didn’t think you were brave. You thought that being brave meant confidence, at all times, and not letting other people see your vulnerability. You can’t fully understand it, but, now, you’re beginning to think that maybe your initial idea of bravery was wrong.
Your lip wobbles as you speak, “W what now?” you look up at him with wide, still watery eyes.
He gently strokes your hair. “Now, I’m going to get Coric, and you,” he playfully taps your nose, “are going to take a much-needed nap, if the bags under your eyes are any indication, while we take care of that leg wound.” 
*
It sounds simple enough. 
Kix explains the procedure while Coric preps you for surgery, making sure all your vitals are stable. As he wraps a blood pressure cuff around your arm, he tells you that that’s essentially his job while he’s in here. Throughout the surgery, he will monitor your vitals and make sure that they remain at safe levels. 
“I’m going to remove the sutures, clean the wound, remove the infected tissue, pack the wound with saline soaked dressings, then bandage it back up so that it can heal. It goes without saying that you’re going to be off the field for at least a week. You’ll need to stay here so that we can continue to monitor your recovery as well as change the dressings often. You will also need to undergo a course of IV antibiotics to kill off any lingering infection. This will also give us time to get your haemoglobin levels back up with an infusion.”
Your eyes close tightly as anxiety knots your stomach. “Oh, force, a week? But, my master needs me,” you protest.
When your eyes open again, both medics are fixing you with equally stern looks. “Your master needs you to be safe, and healthy,” says Coric, frowning, as he carefully attaches a pulse oximeter to one of your fingers. 
“If you want to be back on the field as soon as possible, you will take this week of recovery. If you want to argue with me about it, I will make it longer. A week is the absolute minimum,” Kix says, arms folded across his chest, wearing his signature “i’m the chief medical officer, you have no authority here,” expression.
You visibly deflate, reminding yourself that you pick and choose your battles, and picking and choosing a battle with two medics who are very competent at dealing with very stubborn Jedi would be a very stupid idea. 
You can’t help yourself, and in spite of the fact that you shouldn’t, you stare as Kix preps your wrist for an IV line.
Sensing you’re mounting anxiety as your eyes nervously flit around, watching  Kix’s Every move, Coric gently takes your other hand, squeezing when your eyes don’t immediately look at him. When you finally tear your eyes away from what Kix is doing, Coric is wearing a mischievous smile on his face. “So, Vod’ika, who taught you how to curse in Mandoa?” he asks, raising a curious brow.
You only scoff, rolling your eyes. “Kix already tried to find out. What makes you think that I’m going to tell that secret to you?”
“I’ve already got my suspicions. My moneys on Echo or Fives.” he gives you a wounded look, “I thought you would tell me, because I’m obviously your favourite.”
Kix uses this conversation to quickly insert the IV into a vein on your wrist. Reacting to the small pinch, your fingers instinctively tighten around Coric’s hand, squeezing it tightly.
“You’re definitely my favourite now,” you grumble, giving Kix a sidelong glare.
He gives you an apologetic look. “Sorry, Vod, i’m going to run the medication through the line now. It will act quickly, and when you wake up, this will be all done with.” 
You nod, biting your lip nervously. Coric notices, giving your hand another gentle squeeze. “Hey, kid, I know you’ve heard Kix say kaysh mirsh solus all the time. Do you know what it means?” 
You look at him with curiosity, shaking your head.
“Well, essentially it means they are stupid or foolish. But, the literal translation is even more direct .” Coric gives you a conspiratorial smile.
“What is it?” You ask as he leans forward. 
“The literal translation means their braincell is lonely,” he says, completely serious.
You feel a smile pulling up the corners of your lips and a surprised laugh falls from them. 
You feel the medication beginning to enter your system, but you’re so busy laughing that you can’t bring yourself to care. “You better not be bullshitting me,” you threaten,“or I...” you let out a yawn.
“I swear to the force, I,” your eyes begin to flutter and you yawn again, shrugging.
“I’ll think about it later,” you mumble sleepily, before promptly passing out, smile still lighting up your face.
*
Your leg hurts.
That’s the first thing you become aware of as Kix is gently encouraging you to open your eyes.
“Come on, adika, open your eyes for me,” he says  softly, fingers gently brushing against your cheek to bring you back to awareness.
“But it hurts, and I wanna go back to sleep,” you wine, blinking sleepily up at him. 
“Ni ceta, vod’ika,” he soothes, fingers gently caressing your forehead in an apology. “I know it hurts, and you can go back to sleep soon, I promise,” 
He glances at something that you can’t see, giving a small nod,“Vitals look good, the anaesthesia is wearing off nicely, and it doesn’t appear to have affected them too much. Let’s up that IV dosage,” Kix speaks to Coric, who moves to adjust your IV out of your eyeline.
Your leg throbs, and you let out a stifled whimper, hand reaching down, trying to at least find the source of your pain when Kix catches it in his, gently stalling your movements. “Let’s leave that alone for now, vod’ika. Coric is just increasing your pain med intake, that will make it better. Then you can sleep,” 
At the continued expression of pain on your face, he lets go of your hand, fingers gently playing with your hair as he instructs, “nice and easy, adika, deep breath‘s for me, everything’s okay.” 
You don’t believe him at first, but slowly, things become okay. The pain quickly fades and dulls , breathing becomes easier, and your eyes begin to flutter. All the while, Kix continues holding his vigil at your bedside, fingers continuing to gently run through your hair until you fall into a natural sleep.
*
When you properly wake up next, the first thing you notice is that your leg doesn’t hurt anymore.
Whatever pain meds Kix has got you hooked up to are very effective, and your lips pull into a relieved smile. 
The second thing you notice, when you glance around to get your bearings, is the face of your very concerned captain, Rex, at your bedside. You blink slowly, yawning. Although the anaesthetic has worn off, the pain meds still have you feeling like you’re in a fog, and your brain is working pretty slowly.
“When did you get here?” you ask, confused.
“I came straight here after you never reported to the bridge for today’s debriefing. The general said that you would be back today, and it’s unlike you to miss or forget about meetings,” he explains, looking at you, relieved to see you awake, but a flicker of concern still lingering in his eyes.
“Osik, sorry, Rex, I got myself into a bit of a bind over here,” you gesture to the IV that you’re hooked up to, chuckling a little.
“So I heard, don’t worry about it, kid. There wasn’t much to report, anyways.” His head tilts, and he raises a questioning eyebrow.“Who taught you how to curse in Mandoa, vod’ika?” he asks, keeping his voice light.
If you weren’t under the influence of pretty heavy duty pain medication‘s, you would have restraint, you would have thought before you opened your mouth. But for Rex, it was his lucky day.
you smirk, “good old Hardcase taught me everything I know,” you say with pride, smiling fondly at the memory.
Rex carefully files that information away so that he can scold Hardcase for that once he leaves. But he carefully keeps his face neutral.
His face grows serious. “Kix told me about all the medical appointments you’ve missed and the injuries that you’ve been covering up,” his voice is stern, every bit the commanding officer that he is in front of the troops. It makes you nervous, and you swallow, looking away from him.
“I swear to the force, if you ever pull something like that again, I will find out about it, and I’ll drag you to the medbay myself, even if it means chasing you around the ship and stunning you if I have to. do you realize how much danger you were in? How much danger you put others in? That was extremely reckless of you, commander. I’m very disappointed in your actions,  and it will not happen again, do you understand?”
Your hazy memory recalls the conversation you had with Kix earlier, about this very thing, and for some reason, it hits even harder seeing the disappointment, worry and concern etched on the face of the normally composed captain.
Without prompting, you find yourself bursting into tears. 
Later, you’ll blame the pain meds on your inability to keep a grip on your emotions. But right now, all you can do is think about the people, the brothers, you could have hurt, the things that could’ve happened because of you, and the tears just fall down your face, streaming from your eyes, falling down your cheeks, into your ears, dampening your hair.
.“I I’m sorry Captain I I didn’t I,” you gasp out, trying to explain, but your brain is still foggy, only clinging onto the hazy images of loss and pain due to your inability to act fast enough.
There’s a reason why people are convinced that Kix has eyes on the back of his head. Working as the highest ranking medic in the 501st has trained him to be hyper observant of all of his patients, even if he isn’t at their bedside. 
So, even though he’s been taking the time to update your file on a datapad, unbeknownst to either you or Rex, he’s also been watching you like a hawk, and the minute you begin to show that you’re overwhelmed, he’s swooping in on the two of you, protective mother hen mode fully activated by the tears falling down your cheeks.
He steps in front of you, broad shoulders immediately blocking your view of your commanding officer. “Captain,” he says, and his voice is still respectful, but there’s a hard edge beneath it, something stern that you haven’t heard before, even during the worst of him lecturing you.
“You are causing undue stress to my patient, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave, sir,” he continues, physically ushering Rex to the door.
More quietly, out of your earshot, he says,“I have already harshly reprimanded the commander. Trust me, this experience will ensure that the lesson will not be forgotten.  Now, if you want to be of use, get the general and bring him to me, please. I need to speak with him. Between you and me, Rex, I’m blaming this ordeal on him.” 
Rex begins to make an objection, but  Kix is already turning away, folding his arms. “I don’t care if you have to drag him out of council meetings. His Padawan is more important,” he shoots back, before quickly moving back to your side, all of his hard lines instantly fading at the sight of your tear streaked face.
He’s all gentleness and soft reassurances uttered as he cups your face, wiping away your tears. When you struggle into a sitting position, falling against his chest as your arms clumsily reach for him, his arms easily pull you close to him and you sob, trying to explain.
“Kix, I, I didn’t mean to, I never wanted to hurt anyone,” you whisper, clutching at him, burying your face into the crook of his neck, wanting to disappear, feeling his body shift, one hand splayed out, rubbing your back in slow, soothing circles, the other coming up to cradle your head, holding you against his warmth, sheltering you.
“Oh, adika, shh, I know. You didn’t hurt anyone, vod’ika, nothing happened,” he coos, tightening his arms around you. Lips press against your hair briefly, and you continue to cry, letting your emotions run their course as he cradles you to him, gently rocking you back-and-forth, as if you were a much smaller child.  
In this moment, you certainly feel like you are, and it’s comforting, the way he holds and settles you against him , making gentle shushing noises and speaking in low, soothing tones, the words eventually losing their meaning as sleep, yet again, gently pulls at your consciousness.
The last thing you’re aware of is him gently guiding you to lie back down, another medic, you think it’s Coric, passing him a freshly warmed blanket that he tucks around you, and a hand gently brushing through your hair as you drift back to sleep, your storm settled and calmed by his words and his presence.
*
Anakin Skywalker had been in meetings with the Jedi high Council all day, was running on his 3rd cup of caff, and still found himself stifling a yawn every five minutes. So, when Rex silently slipped into the room, politely interrupting the meeting to request that Anakin report to the medbay, he instinctively rolled his eyes, grumbling that he would go later. 
But when Rex stated that this wasn’t actually about him, and was in regards to his Padawan, Anakin was out of his seat in an instant, hastily making his excuses to the council before leaving the room, legs carrying him to the medbay faster than he ever had moved there before.
He doesn’t even stop to look as behind him, Rex calls to a group of troopers in a booming voice, “Hardcase, get Over here right now,  you di’kut, I need to talk to you regarding professionalism when it comes to working with young Padawan’s .”
When he’s escorted into a cubicle, his eyes grow wide with alarm at the sight of you, peacefully asleep, but your face looks exhausted and worn out. You’re hooked up to an IV and monitors, there’s a thick bandage that’s been secured to the bottom half of your right leg.
Kix keeps his voice low and quiet, so as not to disturb you, but he fixes your master with a hard look as he takes him through an overview of your current health status.
“Iron deficiency anemia, burns, a dislocated shoulder, a blaster wound that had to be surgically operated on due to an untreated infection that had grown quite severe and needed to be manually removed, as well as several muscle strains and bruised ribs that can be healed with proper rest.” 
His mouth falls open at the growing list, but Kix only folds his arms, continuing to speak. “General, sir, your Padawan looks to you with the highest regard, and you lead the way by example. All of these issues could have been caught much earlier and treated without having to deal with all this,” he gestures at everything you’re hooked up to.
“This behaviour was learned, and when I pressed, I found that at the root of the problem was fear of disappointing you and letting you down,” he waits for these words to sink in, and when they do, Anakin Skywalker, Jedi general who is known for his strength and recklessness on the field, hangs his head with shame, eyes finding the floor and refusing to look at Kix directly.
His meaning is clear, you are his Padawan, and as your master, it’s his responsibility to set a good example for you, and in this regard, watching pain medication flow through the IV line attached to your wrist, he knows he has failed to do so.
“So, just maybe, the next time you decide that are mandatory medical checks are optional and you can manage on your own, maybe just, consider this,” Kix gestures to you, still deeply asleep.
Before your master can respond, not that he really has any words to do so, Kix turns on his heel, quickly exiting the room before he can be reprimanded for speaking to his superior that way, not that he really cares, anyway.
If he had stayed, though, he would have seen Anakin tentatively move to your side, gently sitting on the edge of your bed as he strokes back your hair and adjusts the blankets that are tucked around you, properly shamefaced as he looks down at you and says in a voice that is soft and rarely heard coming out of him, “I’m sorry, kiddo, this one’s on me.”
*
“And this,” says Kix, quickly injecting the third and final mandatory vaccination into your arm, “is your ticket out of here.”
The week of recovery has come and gone, And you have finally been cleared to head back onto the field, as long as you continue to follow a regimen of oral antibiotics for the next week, and, more excitingly in your opinion, get out of the medbay.
“There you go, you did it,” Fives, who’s been sitting across from you, happily agreeing to be your emotional support/cheerleader, ready with a damp cloth if you need it, does a little celebratory dance that makes you laugh, even as Kix, sensing that you’re feeling unsteady, gets you to lay down.
Fives gently places the cool cloth against your skin, and it’s enough to ground you, pulling you back from the edge.
“That’s it, Vod’ika, well done, you did great,” Kix says encouragingly, giving your shoulder a warm squeeze. “Now, wait 15 minutes, and as long as you’re feeling back to normal, you can get out of here,” he smiles down at you, patting your head affectionately before moving out of the cubicle.
As soon as he’s gone, Fives liens in conspiratorially, face lighting up with mischievousness sparkling in his eyes. “Hey, kid, I bet you 10 credits that I could easily sneak you out right now and we could make this 15 minutes go a lot faster,” he grins.
In spite of the fact that you smile back at him and laugh lightly, you give your head a small shake and throw a cautious look over your shoulder.
“Are you kidding? I’ve been here for a whole week, and the biggest thing I’ve learned is that  Kix and Coric do, in fact, have eyes in the back of their heads. We wouldn’t even make it out of the door.” 
It’s true, you’ve seen several different troopers trying to carefully sneak out of the medbay when they think that no one is watching. 
What you’ve learned, though, is that the medics of Torrent Company are always watching. Nothing gets past their keen eyes or ears, and no one successfully sneaks out undetected. 
You grimace, “besides, I’ve just gotten off of Kix’s bad side, and I have no desire to go back there.”
“So,” Fives says, resignedly coming to sit on the edge of your bed with a sigh. “We’re waiting the 15 minutes?”
You carefully sit up, giving him a nod and a decisive look as you lean your head against his shoulder..
“Yes, Fives,” you affirm, letting out a small sigh of your own. “We are waiting the 15 minutes.”
************************* thank you so much for reading. Comments and re-blogs are always appreciated here.are always appreciated here.
Mandoa translations. Kaysh mirsh solus, they are stupid/foolish. Ori’vod: Big Brother (in this instance) can also be used as big sister or big sibling. Ni ceta: i’m sorry. Vod: Brother/ sister/ sibling. Adika: little one. Vod’ika: Little sister, little brother, or little sibling Haar’chak: damm it. Di’kut: Fool (literal translation is underwear forgeter) which kills me. Osi’yaim: shithead. Osik: shit.
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jiarkives · 3 months
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can I please request some cassian (acotar) x reader fluff? maybe he's been away on a long mission and he's finally home with his mate and he can't keep his hands off of her because he missed her so much ... (it can get smutty if you want) thank you!! xx
clingy
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ summary — your mate gets even clingier after being apart from you.
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ character — cassian (a court of thorns and roses)
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ content — fluff ; written with fem!reader in mind
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ notes — thank you for the request! i hope i did your idea justice hehehe also the ending is kinda wack jdhdhdhdhd my hand was on autopilot basically
~
Mor, Amren, and Nesta all looked annoyed, Feyre and Elain looked... uncomfortable, at most, while you could only smile awkwardly as you sipped your tea soundly, smacking your lips for effect as you put the cup down. “Lovely weather today, am I right?”
“Oh, cut it out!” Nesta grumbled, crossing her arms on her chest as she glared at you. Well, not at you, but rather at the male beside you.
“Aren’t we going to address the elephant in the room?” Mor spoke up as her eyes fell on your mate whose arms were wrapped around your waist and his face burrowed into the crook of your neck, his eyes closed. One would think he was asleep, but if they would looked closer, they would’ve seen the shit eating grin plastered on his face.
(The sisters were definitely rubbing off of the inner circle, especially with their figures of speech which were definitely confusing at first for the immortals.)
“Is that what you’re calling me now? An elephant?” Cassian picked his head up briefly from your neck to address the females in the garden with you. “I bet I could beat those creatures in a split second. Am I right?” He turned to the sisters with a cocky smirk, his eyebrows wiggling.
All of them ignored him, only looking at you with exasperated expressions. Feyre sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, Amren shook her head, Elain tried to look busy, while Nesta and Mor were practically fuming.
“You do understand the concept of a girls’ day, don’t you?” Mor addressed you, her eyebrows pinched together.
“Yes, of course–”
“Then tell this big, dumb pile of muscle to let go off you and fuck off.” Nesta glared at Cassian who grumbled and tightened his hold on you.
“I’m sorry, I really am.” You sighed. “He had just come back from Windhaven with Az earlier at dawn and hadn’t let me out of sight since, but we’ve already had this day set even before their mission and I didn’t want to cancel last minute...” Your words slowed at the last part as you smiled sheepishly. “But maybe I should’ve just cancelled...?”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t be a bother,” Feyre, ever the mediator, immediately stepped in before Mor and Nesta could blow up even more. “So let’s just continue as planned, but with Cassian here, who I’m sure will behave.” She looked over to Cassian, her gaze stern and receiving a mock salute in return from the male. “See? No need for rescheduling.”
Cassian turned to Nesta, sticking his tongue out at her like a toddler, but immediately stopped and hid his face back in your neck when Feyre uttered his name in warning, causing Nesta to smirk at him smugly.
You could only sigh heavily as your mate’s arms wrapped impossibly tighter around you.
Cauldron, this was going to be a long day.
~
It was, in fact, a long day for the lot of you.
Cassian, despite Feyre’s words of warning, decided to be the most annoying little shit (affectionate for you, derogatory for the rest) during your time together.
He was a busybody, of course he was more invested in the gossip than all of you were. But not only was he gossiping harder than a teenage girl, he was acting like a lovesick teenage boy too.
He wouldn’t keep his hands off of you, even going as far as teasing you with his hands trailing where they shouldn’t. You weren’t able to focus properly on your girls, having to swat at his hand every time.
Then, the girls’ love lives were brought up. Mor was talking about the female she recently met in the city when Cassian interrupted her, “A female? What’s her name? Where does she live? Do I know her? Does Rhys know about her—”
“Mother above, Cassian!” Mor groaned out. “You’re impossibly annoying, leave me alone. Gods.”
You had quickly apologized to the girls with a promise of making up to them another time as you stood, pulling your mate up with you and winnowing into the house Rhysand had gifted you two in your mating ceremony.
As soon as you were standing in the comfort of your own home, Cassian’s smug, cocky smirk softened into one you were used to seeing on him when you were alone.
“Finally.” He groaned in relief, his hands finding their way to your hips to pull you flush to his chest. “I’ve been waiting all godsdamned day, sweetheart.”
Then, his smirk returned as he lifted you in his arms.
“Now, let me show you how much I’ve missed you.” He pushed your bedroom door open. “Properly this time.”
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Possible small or full HC request, more small as your full HC requests are..... Well.... Full
Possibly M6 reacting to MC being secretive about an injury that still affects them, and MC didn't want M6 to supposedly lecture them? And maybe, I haven't seen you do it, but maybe a single quote for comfort they say in response to MC thinking M6 would lecture them?
The Arcana Mini-HCs: MC hiding an injury because they think they'll get lectured
Julian: he's not lecturing you, he's examining you. he's both a doctor and your lover, this is his job squared! is he mad? no. is he blaming himself? yes. is he going to hover around you nonstop after this? bet "I know it's hypocritical, my dear, but I wish you'd let me help you. Do you really think I'd be angry at you for being injured?"
Asra: horrified that you were hurting and that they couldn't do anything about it sooner. yeah, he knows that's on you, but he's also kinda hurt that you think he'd choose lecturing you over loving and helping you. "I love you unconditionally - when you hurt, I hurt. Did I fail to show that to you?"
Nadia: she's - well, she was going to lecture you for hiding your injury until you admitted that that's why you were scared of coming to her. she's quick to ensure you get the best care, while questioning herself "You have been my greatest ally, my darling. I fear I may not have adequately proven myself suitable to be yours, if you can't trust me."
Muriel: the fact that you're scared of him in any way is one of his worst fears coming true. he'll end up keeping his mouth completely shut while he helps you clean it up and tries to find his words "Why would I be angry at you for being hurt? What did I do to make you think that's who I am?"
Portia: oh, she's mad. mad at you for trying to do this alone, mad at you for lying to her, and mad at your for assuming how she'd respond and not giving her the space to make her own decisions. helps you, but: "Of course I'm going to lecture you! You lied to me! That hurts when it's from someone I love! ... now eat your soup."
Lucio: he's confused but he's focusing on one problem at a time. first, he's making sure you're okay and helping you find someone who'll tend to your wounds. then he's addressing what he thinks of your response. "Didn't you tell me not to hide from my oopsies? This doesn't even count as an oopsie, do you think I wouldn't love you anyway?"
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that-starry-freak · 1 month
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Yknow what? I have to rant about this this has been eating me up for forever. Fuck confessions I'm going to do this here.
I fucking hate old moon
Do I love his sass? Yes. Do I love how Reed plays him most of the time? Yes. Do I love how he interacts with other characters? Yes!
Do I like him as a "person" and for what hes done? Absolutley not. He abused Sun, and when he found out the daycare exploded his first reaction was to be upset because THE STICK HE WOULD ROUTINLY HIT SUN WITH was fucking destroyed. I'm sorry bitch what??? That's disgusting Moon I wish you burned in hell <3
I also absolutely hate that no one saves Nexus
Do I think it was Sun's fault? Absolutely not, he has had way too much shit to deal with. Do I think its Earth's fault? While I think Nexus was absolutely right for calling her out for not being a therapist, she has every right to be upset for him saying he'd kill her. Do I think its the families fault in general? No, Nexus pushed them away and hurt them, they did try.
You know who I do blame? Who should understand Nexus better than anyone? Who even admits partial responsibility for it, and pretty much denies any sort of redemption for Nexus?
Mother fucking Old Moon.
Old moon committed arson. He abused Sun routinely (forcing him to go to dangerous dimensions. Hitting him. Calling him stupid. Having a clear power difference between the two and abusing it). He put his killcode in Sun and is literally the reason Eclipse exists and terrified their family.
But no, Nexus is the one in the wrong. He's the one that will have to do soemthing huge and grovel to be redeemed. Because he threatened the family after having hallucination and literally going insane and mourning his best friend, and feeling like he wasn't good enough and spiraling cause he couldn't bring Solar back, and then joined Dark Sun whos known to be exteemly smart and manipulative. Not Old Moon, who did so much worse. No, he gets to rejoin the family after apologizing and promising to do better (and yes, he is doing better) sure, Sun doesn't forgive him (and im proud of him for admitting that <3 that's very strong of him), but still.
Plus, Nexus is literally the youngest family member. He's a lot younger than Earth and Sun and Moon and Lunar. He isn't Sun's twin, and he isn't Earth's older brother. He is the youngest. And that should be addressed, because that means he is much more immature. He hasn't had all the time to grow up like the rest of them have. Moon has had years to grow as a person. Nexus has had a year.
Anyway, tldr. I dont blame the family for what happened to Nexus, I blame Old Moon
Also sorry for bad spelling or grammar or autocorrect or whatever, I'm not rereading this
ALSO THIS IS NOT FOR DEBATE. I AM RANTING ABOUT MY OPINION, IF YOU DO NOT AGREE, PLEASE JUST SCROLL PAST I DONT HAVE THE ENERGY TO ARGUE. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OWN OPINION AND SO AM I ♡♡
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juniperhillpatient · 20 days
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I have talked about this a lot before but it’s on my mind & also it’s something that really should be discussed more in Buffy fandom -
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People are constantly talking about how Spike defies all the rules Buffy was taught about demons & vampires & rightfully so. A vampire falling in love with a slayer & fighting for his soul for her is such a romantic notion & I do love it but the nuance of Spike’s arc is even more interesting than that! He does love Buffy but not only that he befriends the Scoobies too. He brings flowers for Joyce after she dies. He helps prove that Tara is not a demon when her family tries to gaslight her & isolate her. He becomes a pseudo big brother to Dawn.
And yet none of that is even what I’m here to talk about! Spike IS a hero & he does have a long spanning redemption arc before the soul (& we’re NOT here to talk about Seeing Red right now, as usual that topic is too expansive & requires its own post) that should be acknowledged & his character is rightfully praised but he is NOT the only exception to vampires having nuance & it drives me crazy that we act like he is. The Judge isn’t just talking to Spike when he says this:
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“You TWO.” He’s talking about Drusilla too! He says that they share affection & jealousy. That Angelus in his total sociopathic lack of human emotion is the odd one here.
Then you have things like this -
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Conversations with Dead People has Buffy sharing a very long & deep conversation with an old acquaintance turned vampire. And it’s far from the only example in universe of a vampire retaining some sense of camaraderie with people from their life!
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That’s right this entire rant has been a lead up to talk about my best girly Harmony Kendall. You’ve fallen for my ruse if you’ve read this far muahaha! Admittedly Harmony’s strongest moments are mostly unfortunately on Angel but even in season four of Buffy when she dates Spike she is clearly intended at times to be sympathetic. Season 4 is also interesting because we see a lot interactions between various gangs of vampires like Harmony’s so-called minions & even Sundays gang where they’re very much evil but also sharing in living (existing?) space & acting like bickering roommates or siblings. Like creatures with bonds & personalities & intricacies.
The point I’m trying to make is that the show never truly wants to grapple with the existence of Spike in all his nuance but it’s also not just about him! In general there is so much to grapple with in the idea that vampires can change & be redeemed & I’m not saying I’m anti scary evil vampires I’m just saying the universe gave us these hints of nuance & then the characters never grappled with it & that’s lame. For Buffy killing things that have a shot at redemption however small would be a major emotional blow if she ever addressed it! Especially in her season 5 “am I just a killer 🥺” arc. Let’s deal with the implications!
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Let’s deal with Xander’s trauma about killing Jessie & just how much it would/should hurt for him to see Spike increasingly choose good & work with the Scoobies. I would LOVE to know Xander’s reaction to Harmony’s arc on Angel or Cordelia befriending her & letting her go ina world where the writing acknowledges that he drove a stake through his best friends heart!
It’s just that the writers accidentally complicated their own lore & then totally refused to ever let their characters address what the cracks in the stories they tell themselves mean. Giles says that a vampire is no longer the person but instead the thing that killed them. What’s scarier: the idea that your loved one was killed & something wears their face like a mask OR much more insane (to me) the idea that your loved one came back very wrong but it’s still them? Your brother eats people now but he still remembers how you like your eggs & can quote every episode of the cartoon you watched as kids. Your mom murdered that woman from the PTA who always talked too much in cold blood but she still remembers the recipe for your favorite pancakes. The show wanted scary vampires but it got so caught up in never addressing the infinitely more complex & scarier vampires it accidentally created & sticking to the more simplistic initial idea that it did both the characters & lore very dirty. And I’ll never shut up about it!!!
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Text
Have you ever had one of those things happen that just straight-up sound like something that'd only go down in a badly written sitcom?
This one time a few years ago, I had nothing to do in the middle of the day so I went out to wander around the city, and encountered one of those christian missionaries of some sort - not mormons, some local finnish-speaking one, probably Jehova's witnesses, I can't recall - who addressed me first. Having only gone out to kill time I figured I'd stop to see what he had to say, this might get interesting.
He started talking about sin, and I told him that I don't think that's real, humans aren't inherently bad creatures that need to be goaded into not doing evil by an outside force. Apparently taken back by my confidence about this, he asked me why I think so. And while I was absolutely not this eloquent about it while talking as I am typing it out now, I explained that if doing good didn't come naturally to people, it wouldn't feel good to do it. There's been studies about that - it makes people feel happy to help others, even when they gain nothing from it, or even at a cost to themselves sometimes.
Doing good things feels good for the same reason as eating, sleeping and having sex feel good - because we're supposed to do it. It doesn't matter to me why that is - either there's a god who made people with inherent goodness to them, or natural selection of the cold uncaring universe saw this behaviour as beneficial for survival. People want to be good to one-another just like migratory birds want to fly south for the winter.
He gave me his best annoyed "alright, fair enough"-shrug and was clearly trying to think of how to disagree with that when we were interrupted. I have no idea how a person that large and entirely indifferent to concepts like subtlety, stealth or an indoor voice even can sneak up on people, but we were both startled when someone I had briefly met appeared out of apparent nowhere, loudly going
HEY AREN'T YOU THAT TRANNY FROM THE PARK
addressing me. I used to go drinking at the park quite often back then, and while I did meet a lot of people that way and my memory is the first thing to disappear when I'm drunk, someone that loud, tall and broad-shouldered, covered in tattoos, with long hair, braided beard and electric blue eyeshadow isn't someone you easily forget. I was, indeed, the tranny from the park and I had been the person who had explained the concept of "nonbinary" to them.
My acquaintance here was somewhere between 30 and 50 and not exactly up to whatever the kids are doing these days, and their reaction to this information was roughly "oh huh so there's a name for the thing I'm doing". As they only spoke finnish, I can't say that I would have been the one to explain the concept of gender neutral pronouns to them, but they had been fascinated to discover that other languages have gendered pronouns in the first place.
Refreshing my memory of the encounter - and apparently unintentionally also recounting it to the missionary who was still silently standing with us - they proceeded to explain that they've never really felt like a man or a woman. And sometimes not really even like a human, but more like an alien who had just been dropped off here from a spaceship - but not like in a psychotic delusions sort of way, but just the vibes, you know? They then proceeded to tell us about some other fascinating epiphanies that they had had while on psychedelics.
As they went on, the christian missionary next to us was drifting backwards so slowly that I don't think I noticed him actually take an individual backwards step, just silently sliding gradually further away from this situation, with apparent mild concern. And while my happenstance acquaintance - whose name I either never heard or couldn't remember hearing - was talking, I noticed I had gotten a text message from a friend, who asked if I'm around and whether I want to come hang out.
So as the nonbinary giant self-appointed alien was finished with their story and took their leave - telling me that they'll probably see me around, and as I was around a lot, I reassured them that they would - I turned to the missionary and told him that while I'd love to carry on with what we were talking about, I actually have people to see now, and bid him good luck with whatever he was trying to do.
It's been like five years between that day and today, and during that time I moved to a different city and back here. I don't think I've seen the nonbinary giant again even once during this time, and wherever they are, I hope they're doing ok and no longer doing any weird drugs. Or if they are, that at least they're having fun.
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sgiandubh · 5 months
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Show must go on...
... and rather very much in your face, mind you.
Scottish Xena posted two stories at about 7 AM, counting calories, and, in the process, making sure to address roughly any objections that were ventilated on this side of the fandom, including this very page. See for yourself...
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What are the odds she'd be talking about nutrition? Right. I am not an idiot. I know when something is way Over The Top - less is more, Xena. Less is always more: there was no need to overdo it like that, placemat and all, if you wanted to remain credible. You read us and you have been instructed to do so, just to perfectly stick to your walking, talking and very profitable Local Innuendo script.
Fair enough. And then, you also tell us that you will be at Hyrox today around noon, to film some ESN promo: your bread and butter, of course. S is just for shits, giggles and that Instagram yield:
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So, there's that. *urv connecting dots like crazy, without having the slightest clue of what was discussed at that table. Her own brand of cheap fanfic for the masses, for the other five clowns commenting, out of which three at least are her own sock accounts.
Cue in the Useful Idiot. The Brazilian Tourist and Fan. Uma senhorita tão desagradável, who changed her story in between her first reaction reel and the debrief, back at her suburban Airbnb or where the fuck that was filmed.
First reaction reels:
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'Just saw SH.' Not alone, oh no: 'com uma moça'. With a girl. So yeah, she had qualms asking for a pic.
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First lie and dramatization. She posts a message for S where she explains she did not dare approach him, but she saw him alright. The one in Portuguese is completely different, though: 'I am going to post the video without sound, because I could only say "what a shame", while I was filming him on the sly. LOL.' I guess she thinks we are all idiots, or something. Also, in her reel, she confirms: 'ele estava almoçando com outra pessoa'/he was having lunch with another person. So far, so good, right?
Six hours later, a second debrief batch of reels, taking her reader's questions. The narrative changes, with a strong bias:
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'Yes, he is super accessible and educated! I did not freak out, I just politely asked to take a pic (what I do consider the right way to approach famous people, at the end they are still human beings).'
For the people in the back: she is a lady. And a liar. The worst kind of liar, actually: a narcissistic one. Let's see what else she takes great pains telling us: 'ele tem um fandom bem tóxico'/he has a very toxic fandom. From now on, we just know what to expect, right?
Second answer, she explains he is very tall. He went inside to pay the bill and then he also went towards the bathroom (wtf?), she followed him inside, she asked for the menu, he finally went out and she approached him ('abordei' - 🙄) between the door and her table. Classy.
Cue in to a third answer (and second lie) to a very odd question: 'what did he smell like?' or something along those lines. For this one, I had to ask confirmation from Shipper Mom, who told me two things (she knew next to nothing about the whole episode- no bias): ' it's damn hard to understand what the hell she is talking about, she is eating half of her words. Plus you can tell she is lying.'
He doesn't smell, she tells us. But hey, she also freaked out a bit, finally (I thought she hadn't?!) and then well, 'ele estava com outra pessoa, uma moça, deve ser a namorada dele'/ he was with another person, a girl, probably his girlfriend'. But then he went inside (again? wasn't he coming out of the venue?), 'and the girl stayed at the table'. Things go murky afterwards, like they absolutely always do: she tells us she spoke to her (?), but would not say anything more, yet making sure to tell us she 'saw both of them'.
If anyone has a better version than mine, please step forward: we listened three times in a row, with Shipper Mom, a teacher of Portuguese and published literary translator. She was appalled by this young woman's carelessness and mendacity.
The Brazilian Tourist Fan is 23 years old (and it shows), she presents herself as a journalist and writer:
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Seriously? What are the odds?
And finally, to wrap it up, the classical cheering moment, at yesterday's Hyrox: ' yeah, Sarah, nice!'
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Nice, indeed.
FFS. Will it ever end?
Yes, it will. Anything ends: even Stalin's terror.
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chris-prank · 29 days
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Can I ask for headcanons for atlas? Preferably how he would ask if his s/o or darling had someone trying to date them/hook up with them. Please I really need some possessive stuff it's what feeds me
This is the first ask I received about Atlas! I'm so happyyyyyyy 😆😆
And if you like possessive stuff, I can already tell you that Atlas will be even more unhinged and possessive in the second part of his main story.
(This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only, I do not support yandere behaviors in real life)
Despite being a yandere, Atlas doesn’t completely understand that what he is doing is wrong, but he is aware that certain actions could be perceived as bad on your part. All he wants is for you to value him just as much as he values you. That’s why he wouldn’t be violently possessive in front of you, he’ll be more calculated and subtle about it. 
First thing first, he will try to find any dirt he can on that person. Atlas will use his face recognition program to identify them. That way he can know if they have any criminal records, check their social media to see if they already have a partner, etc. He will inform you of any of his findings on the pretense of caring for your security, which is true in his mind.  
If that person has a clean record, as far as he can see, he still has all their personal information at his disposal. Consequently he can threaten them with their work address, home address or their family members name. 
While you’re in front of the flirt, Atlas would try to get your attention back by butting into the conversation non stop or by acting like a timid puppy. He knows that giving you big sad eyes is the best way to have you all over him.
In addition, the android would stare at them without blinking to make them uncomfortable enough to leave you alone. 
 Altas would also try to make the stranger angry in ways that you wouldn’t notice. His goal is to make them yell or be rude to him for no apparent reason so they would look bad. 
If none of that works he will temper with your phone so that you don’t receive calls and texts from these people, in the hopes that you’ll forget about them. He can even delete their number from your contacts before you have the chance to call them back, because he knows that most humans can’t remember a phone number by heart. 
・*:.。..。.:*・*:.。..。.:*・
Atlas was proud with the little assortment of dishes he had chosen for you. He had never been to a Chinese buffet before, not that he didn’t know what it was, it’s just that his last owners were too much of rich pricks to go to places like these. You were the one who had the idea of making each other's plate for the first round. Despite him not needing to eat, you had insisted that he at least tasted the food, since all androids did have the capacity for cooking purposes. He knows that his last masters would have never considered making him eat, let alone sharing their food with him. After giving it more thought, he was glad he got to have his first time in a restaurant like this with you. 
As he was making his way back to you, he saw that you were chatting with a random guy. He noticed that his body language was atypical, he was leaning in on you and his shoulder was scarily close to yours. All the alarms went off in his system as he quickly realized what was happening. This man was flirting with you. His hands unconsciously tightened around the plate and cup he was holding, threatening to break them. In a millisecond, he had successfully composed himself though and had planned his next move. He continued to make his way towards you and the nuisance, calculating his trajectory with precision. He just needed to synchronize his last step with these guys' movements to… Splash! The drink and the meal, he had meticulously picked out for you, were spilled all over him and the man’s clothes. 
“What the—“ The stranger turned around to face Atlas, gritting his teeth. 
“I am sorry sir.” 
He looked at him up and down, noticing that he was an android. 
“Check where you’re going next time you fucking dysfunctional piece of junk!”
“Hey don’t talk to him like that!” You protested immediately.  
“Don’t tell me you brought that thing here?!” 
“I did and I think it’s time for you to go.” 
The guy rolled his eyes and proceeded to hit Atlas’s arm as he left, making the android take a step back. Not to mention how he grumbled about how you were not even that good looking anyway. Atlas, on the other hand, didn’t move. He was only staring at you. 
“Let’s get you cleaned up.” You whispered, trying to comfort him, even though you knew he surely wasn’t affected that much. 
“I’m sorry about your food.” 
You couldn’t help but let out a laugh of disbelief. “You’re worried about that?”
His green eyes went to the floor as he stayed silent, so you didn’t tease him further. You guided him to your table and sat him down. You asked an employee if you could borrow a wet towel and notify them of the mess Atlas had accidentally made in the buffet area. Luckily not a lot of food had ended up on him and his jacket was the easiest part to clean up. As you tried to rub the sauce off the jacket, you felt a slight tug on your right arm, you looked down and saw Atlas’s hand was holding on to your sleeve. His head was hanging low just like earlier. 
“Am I still enough for you?” 
“What do you— Oh!” Your eyes widened, “of course you’re enough! Me meeting other people doesn’t change how I feel about you, ok? You’re irreplaceable.” You winked all the while playfully nudging him. 
The android nodded in response, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 
***
Atlas was waiting outside the restaurant for you to finish with private business. The sun had already set for a while, making him stand out from the crowd with his piercing green eyes. The android was not only waiting for you to come out but also for him. Atlas had in fact paid close attention to the number of persons remaining in the restaurant before leaving. He at least hoped that the nuisance would appear before you did. 
Like on cue, the long awaited man walked out the Chinese buffet. The android didn't waste a single second and grabbed the guy’s arm. He was so imposing that his fingers couldn't reach the other, but it didn’t matter. Before he could complain, Atlas looked him straight in the eyes and said in his usual flat tone.
“Your name is Emile Hugues, you work as a mechanic at the garage Extra Miles, which is ten minutes by car from your apartment—” 
“H-how do you know all that?!” The words seemed to crawl out of his throat, his face contorting in pure terror. 
Emile tried to pull away and was horrified when Atlas didn’t budge one bit. Not even one hour ago, he made the android stumble back with a simple knock on his shoulder. If the android heard him now he didn’t show any sign of it and continued on. 
“Don’t ever try to contact them again, I can assure you I’ll know if you do.” Only then, did Atlas release the man from his deadly grip, letting him scramble away in fear. 
・*:.。..。.:*・*:.。..。.:*・
Sorry if it took a bit of time for me to answer, I do this in my free time after all and sometimes I just don’t feel the spark of inspiration. BUT I really appreciate every ask you guys send me and I always want to craft the best answer possible. 
117 notes · View notes
victoryverse · 8 months
Note
Köíng being an bully and loves to tease you the richest girl in the college and also the brat queen of all,
He just loved seeing you get angry at him,but would never say that you.He know you have an liking about his hand by the way you look at it for more then 10 minutes.
Just because you can flirty with other guy (to köíng those guys are just boys 🙄😒) Doesn't mean he doesn't flirt back with some dirty comments,loving the way your brows narrow down and how your face turns red.
But one thing is for sure is that your attitude needs an lesson to learn.
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PLS NEED SMUTT
warnings: 18+, smut, cursing, sex on a bench, unprotected sex.
words: 2k
(p. s. the image made me go feral, ngl. now, imagine them naked, looking down at you like you're a fucking meal they can't wait to eat. I WOULD DIE)
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Köíng was the self-proclaimed king of the college, and he made sure everyone knew it. He was the popular jock, the one who had all the girls swooning over him. But there was one girl who seemed to be immune to his charms - the richest girl in the college and the self-proclaimed brat queen, (Y/N).
He loved teasing her, making her angry and seeing her fiery personality come to life. It was like a game to him, and he enjoyed every moment of it. The way her face would turn red, and her brows would narrow, scratched an itch in him. And the way she would roll her eyes at his teasing, it made him wish she was doing that around his cock.
Despite his constant teasing, he couldn't deny the fact that he was attracted to her, especially the way she looked at his hands. She had a thing for Köíng's hands, and he knew it. Every time he caught her staring at them for more than 10 minutes, he couldn't help but feel a little flattered. They were huge, considering how much he worked out, and almost every girl stared at them. But, he didn't care about others, he only cared about the way she looked at them.
But he would never admit it. To him, she was just another spoiled rich girl who needed to be put in her place.
He loved pushing her buttons, especially when it came to other guys. (Y/N) was known for her flirty nature, and Köíng couldn't resist flirting back with some dirty comments, just to see her reaction.
Y/N sat at the center of a group of girls, her perfectly styled hair cascading over her shoulders and her designer clothes hugging her curves. She was the epitome of a spoiled brat, always getting what she wanted and never afraid to throw a tantrum if things didn't go her way.
But Konig was not intimidated by her reputation. In fact, he found it to be a challenge. As he sauntered over to her table, he couldn't help but smirk at the thought of how much fun it would be to tease her.
'Hey there, Y/N,' Konig said, flashing his signature charming smile.
Y/N rolled her eyes and gave him a look of disgust. 'Ugh, not you again. What do you want?'
Konig chuckled. 'Just wanted to say hello to the most beautiful girl in school.'
Y/N scoffed. 'Save your cheesy lines for someone who actually cares.'
Konig leaned against the table, his eyes never leaving Y/N's. 'Oh, I think you care. You wouldn't be talking to me if you didn't.'
Y/N raised an eyebrow. 'Please, I'm only talking to you because you're blocking my view of my friends. Move.'
Konig laughed, causing a few heads to turn in their direction. 'Feisty, I like that.'
Y/N's face turned red with anger. 'I am not 'feisty', I am a queen. And you will address me as such.'
Konig's smirk widened. 'Oh, my apologies, Your Highness. I didn't realize I was in the presence of royalty.'
Y/N huffed and turned to her friends, clearly annoyed with Konig's presence. But he wasn't finished with her yet.
'So, Y/N, what do you have planned for this weekend? A shopping spree? A spa day?'
Y/N rolled her eyes again. 'Do you honestly think I would waste my time with someone like you?'
Konig's smile never faltered. 'I don't know, I think we could have some fun together. You know what they say, opposites attract.'
Y/N's patience was wearing thin. 'Just because we're opposites, doesn't mean we attract. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than entertain your childish attempts at flirting.'
Konig's smile turned into a smirk once again. 'Oh, but Y/N, I do love a challenge. And you seem like the ultimate challenge.'
Y/N scoffed and stood up from her seat. 'I have no time for your games, Konig. Leave me alone.'
But Konig wasn't about to give up that easily. 'Come on, just one date. I promise it will be the most fun you've ever had.'
Y/N's eyes narrowed. 'I highly doubt that.'
Konig leaned in closer to her, his voice lowering to a seductive tone. 'Oh, I can assure you, Y/N. I know all the best places to take a girl like you.'
Y/N's cheeks flushed with anger and she pushed him away. 'I am not a 'girl like me'. I am my own person, and I don't need you or anyone else to show me a good time.'
Konig's smile faded and he straightened up, his tone becoming serious. 'You know what, Y/N? You're right. I was wrong to think that you would be worth my time. You're just a spoiled brat who thinks she's better than everyone else.'
Y/N's eyes widened in shock, not used to being spoken to in such a manner. 'Excuse me? How dare you talk to me like that!'
Konig shrugged. 'I'm just being honest. You may be popular and have everything handed to you, but that doesn't make you a better person. In fact, it just makes you shallow and materialistic.' 'You know what? Fuck you' she groaned, and he smirked.
'I'm counting on it'
He loved the way her brows would furrow and her face would turn red with anger. It was like a challenge to him, and he loved every moment of it.
But deep down, he knew that (Y/N) wasn't just a spoiled brat. She had a fire in her that he couldn't help but admire. And he also knew that her attitude needed a lesson to learn. He couldn't stand how she looked down on others, especially those who didn't have the same privileges as her.
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'What you doing, big guy?'
Simon was in the locker room, changing his vests before going for a shower. And there she was, standing in her cheerleader outfit in the boys' locker room.
'What are you doing here?'
'I heard you hit a guy pretty hard back there'
He exhaled, his face full of anger and frustration. It was an accident, and he was already facing the consequences.
'I heard you got a C on your last math test,' he called out, smirking as he watched her face shift, the smugness washing off.
Y/N's eyes narrowed, 'And I heard you got suspended for hitting that boy. What's your point, Konig?'
Simon's smile faltered, but he quickly recovered. 'My point is, maybe you should focus less on being popular and more on your studies. You don't want to end up working at McDonald's for the rest of your life, do you?'
Y/N's jaw clenched as she fought to keep her composure. 'I'll have you know, I'm perfectly capable of juggling my social life and my academics. Unlike you, I actually have a future that doesn't involve being a washed-up high school football star. A stupid footballer who doesn't even know how to use his hands'
Simon's eyes narrowed as his fists clenched at his sides. 'You know nothing about me, Y/N. And don't act like you're so perfect, with your designer clothes and expensive car. That just shows how shallow and materialistic you really are.'
Y/N's eyes flashed with anger as she stepped closer to him. 'At least I have something to show for myself. What have you accomplished besides being a delinquent?'
With that, something snapped in him. Before she could process it, he was striding towards her. He grabbed (Y/N)'s wrists and pinned her against one of the benches, his face inches from hers.
'I've had enough of your teasing and your bratty behavior,' he growled, his breath hot against her skin. 'I think it's time I taught you a lesson.'
She was taken aback by his sudden aggression, but a thrill ran through her body. She couldn't help but feel aroused by his demeanor.
Before she could even respond, Konig had already pulled down her skirt and panties, revealing her wet and ready core. He wasted no time, thrusting his huge cock into her with a force that made her gasp.
She moaned loudly, her hands gripping the bench as Konig began to pound into her. She was continuously creaming all over him, her arousal dripping down his pubes and cock. A ring of cream had formed on the base of his cock, and the sight of his cock getting wetter and wetter with each thrust into her needy cunt made him groan.
He couldn't resist the sight of her, her body writhing under his touch. He reached around and covered her mouth with his hand, his fingers slipping into her mouth to silence her moans.
But every time she muffled a moan, Konig could feel his cock twitch with pleasure. He couldn't help but let out a low groan, the sensation of her tight walls gripping him driving him wild. Her warm cunt was taking his cock so well, her walls clamping down on him with each thrust.
(Y/N) was in a state of pure ecstasy, her body quivering with pleasure as Konig brought her closer and closer to the edge. She was putty in his hands, completely at his mercy. Her legs gave out completely beneath her, his strong thighs keeping her up. She knew he was holding back too, because judging by his size, he could have easily broken the bench in a few thrusts.
Loud sounds of skin slapping against skin filled the locker, and he was thankful that the match was ongoing, otherwise the boys would've barged in. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, his cock pushing itself all the way into her pussy. His balls smacked against her ass repeatedly, and she knew her thighs would be bruised tomorrow.
'Fuck, I'm-I'm close' she whimpered, and he slowed down his thrusts. He pushed his cock all the way in, holding it in there for a few moments before pulling back. He was the biggest she had ever had, and it was making her go feral.
He resumed his pace again, her toes curling in her shoes as she bit on his fingers. He grabbed her ass cheeks, spreading them apart as he watched himself disappear inside her.
'Come, then. Come around my cock. Show me you're a good girl'
As she reached their climax, Konig couldn't hold back any longer. He let out a loud groan as he emptied himself inside of her, his body shaking with pleasure.
They both collapsed onto the bench, panting and trying to catch their breath. (Y/N) couldn't believe what had just happened, but she couldn't deny the toe-curling pleasure she had experienced.
Konig smirked and leaned in close to her ear. 'You're lucky I have a thing for brats,' he whispered before planting a kiss on her lips.
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misc-obeyme · 9 months
Text
You know the drill.
Spoilers for Lesson 40 below, including locked and hard lessons.
Just to clarify: when I say that it’s “the end” in my rantings, I am referring to season two, not the entire game. ☺️
Hmm.
I'm confused. And... underwhelmed? What even just happened?
I mean, we had lovely moments with the side characters and we got to kiss them all and of course I'm incredibly pleased I got to kiss Barbatos and Solomon, but aside from that we just... went back?
Most of the lesson was about the RAD founding ceremony. We say good bye to the side characters and they even address how we told Solomon his cooking was bad (more on this later).
But just as the ceremony is about to start, a dark rift opens in the sky. It's a rift in space and time. Barbatos straight up asks Solomon if he did it. Solomon says he didn't, but that he wasn't expecting it to show up so soon. (So who did create it? Nightbringer? And if so, doesn't this prove Solomon at the very least knows enough to know when Nightbringer is going to open a portal back through time??)
We miss the ceremony because we have to go through that rift if we wanna get back. The brothers come with us because we need their power. Just like when we summoned the white dragon, we call upon each brother for his power. Then Solomon adds his. Then there's a bright light and..
...roll credits.
Yeah. That's it. That's the end.
There's a locked lesson where Diavolo gives a speech at the ceremony.
And then the HARD lesson... is us returning to the House of Lamentation in our time. The brothers are all like oh hey MC good morning like nothing even happened. They say it's weird because it feels like it's been a long time since they've seen MC but that can't be right because it hasn't been that long at all.
AND THAT'S IT.
No Nightbringer. No further insight from Solomon or Barbatos. Not even sad angsty brothers who have been missing us.
It was like they didn't know we were gone.
So either we went back a little further in time or there was never a point where they decided as a group to send Solomon back to help us.
We didn't even get a Michael appearance!
THAT WAS VERY ANTICLIMACTIC.
I am confused because it wasn't bad, it was kinda cheesy, there were some sweet lines and like I mentioned previously I got to kiss my malewives but WHAT THE JUNK.
I'm not suffering, more like I'm just left hanging???
My one consolation is that we're back in our timeline now. So maybe NEXT SEASON we can FINALLY get some ANSWERS.
I really thought they couldn't drag it out any further and yet...
I didn't take a whole lot of screenshots this time because again, it was kinda just... underwhelming. Overall this lesson was just me going that's it?! And being baffled.
First I'd like to present you with these lovely Barbatos moments.
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As sweet as this is, the man knows. Not that I ever thought anything else, but he's so subtle about it. I'm onto you, Barb.
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My HEART. If I wasn't going back to another version of him, I would just be like nope staying by your side forever the end I don't care about anybody else.
But before all that, there was also this:
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I'm glaring at you because you let Solomon into the kitchen.
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I DIDN'T WANT TO.
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OF COURSE I DIDN'T.
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GOOD. SOMEONE ELSE CAN SUFFER WITH ME.
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OHHhhhh Barb I love when you get all threatening and smile like that 💕
But seriously, then Barbatos and Luke help Solomon make a lunch that's actually delicious and we eat it with everybody and they're all amazed. I was like OKAY WELL I do feel a bit better about that whole fiasco now. But still, was it even necessary to begin with? No amount of sweet kitchen buffoonery with these guys is going to make me forget the pain.
At least we had a cute Solomon moment, too.
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Yeah but I'm still wondering about the past version of you, Sol. I'm just saying, where is that guy?
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I mean you don't have to look so sad about it.
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Ah. Your jealousy is showing, Solomon. (I don't mind.)
Hard Lesson bits because I'm still just ????
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YEAH BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T.
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YEAH IT'S BEEN TWO WHOLE SEASONS.
Once again, I am left with more questions than what I started with. Will MC tell the brothers what happened? Will we just never see the past brothers again? Will we return to the past in the next season? Will we ever see Nightbringer again, the being for whom this game was named?
At the very least, we still have Mephisto being himself and man I can't believe I ever disliked this guy.
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THAT'S MY BOY.
I'm feeling extremely unsatisfied but it isn't like that's anything new.
I will say that it wasn't as bad as I expected. I was expecting them to do some really terrible things that made me freak out and scream and scare my cat. But no, I was mostly just ?? the whole time. And confusion is preferable to suffering in this case.
But I am also ANNOYED. We have waited long enough for the Nightbringer reveal, please give it to us now Solmare!!!
I fear we only have a short time before we are dragged further into this game that has truly become a hell of its own when season three is upon us... (I'm being deliberately melodramatic but still...)
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whateverisbeautiful · 2 months
Text
♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL
#5: The Eager (1.01)
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gif cred: @kimwexlersponytail
I love how this second dream arrives right after Rick is welcomed into the CRM. No matter how involved in the CRM he has to be, he can always find Michonne in his mind to anchor him back to what matters most. And these dreams are like we also get to retreat with Rick to a familiar face. Our and Rick’s favorite familar face too🥰...
So after trying out his weaponized arm - which I also find his prosthetic symbolic because it’s almost like now Rick has been made into a weapon and we’ll watch him go on a journey of returning to be a person again throughout the miniseries - the scene fades to black and we hear some peaceful ambiance and then Michonne’s voice gently say, “I thought you were late.”
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gif cred: @lousolversons
I love her calming voice in these dreams. They both have these heartwarming soft laughs as Rick dons a big smile and says a carefree and confident, “Yep. I am.” 😋
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gif cred: @lousolversons
Rick knows chatting up this beauty on the bench is more important than employment. And...
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It's sweet that he doesn’t care about work or being late anymore. Michonne, as always, has his sole focus and he just looks so genuinely content to be in this moment with her. He’s basking in her presence. 😇
And after so little smiling moments in his real life with the CRM, it’s nice to see Rick smile so freely in his dream and of course, it’s all because of his beautiful Michonne being by his side. I like too how they both have these little breathy laughs that feel like they know exactly why they’re lingering in each other's space right now.
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There’s also something to be said about being late vs. lost. Rick knows he’s late to his job, in irl he’s 'late' getting home, and even in a more immediate sense, it seems he’s late to that arena meeting with Okafor and Pearl coming up. But it doesn’t matter because right now for just a brief moment he has her, so regardless of being late he’s at least no longer lost. Again, Michonne is his destination.
As Rick and Michonne fell for each other in TWD it also reshaped their end goal in this apocalypse. It was no longer just to survive and help others survive. That of course is still a major part of their calling, but in falling in love part of their goal and purpose became more personal - aiming to build a life together and enjoy each other to the fullest. And so here in this dream, we see how Rick’s goal reshapes as well. He just wants to enjoy her no matter what else is going on. 
However, in the dream, Michonne can’t stay leisurely sitting with Rick for long as she smiles and says, “Uh well I can’t be.”
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gif cred: @lousolversons
For me, there’s something so sweet about this scene but also sad because Michonne can’t stay, It’s almost like it's depicting how the real Michonne has to stay in their world keeping things afloat for their kids and community. She can’t be late for her duties.
Michonne stands up to leave but then she turns around to offer, “But I do eat here every day.” Def wanting to indicate to him that she’d be happy to see him again. 😊
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gif cred: @lousolversons
Rick gives a little confident smile and asks, “Around this time?” because he knows she wants to see him again too. Just like he very much wants to see her. 😊
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gif cred: @lousolversons
Michonne is tickled by the question as she says, “You’re pretty eager aren’t you?” It’s cute how she doesn’t tiptoe around Rick’s obvious attraction to her lol. And she has a spot-on assessment of that man Rick because he's always eager about Michonne. 😇
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gif cred: @lousolversons
And then I absolutely love the way Rick shrugs and keeps the confidence going when he responds, “Maybe you are too.” 😊 Lol, I love it.
One thing Rick’s psyche knows is that he and Michonne are very eager for each other. #hungry. I like how he doesn't deny being eager to see her again while also addressing that what they're feeling rn is clearly mutual. And this feels reminiscent of all the little flirting moments they had both pre and post-canon. 
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gif cred: @lousolversons
And Rick is correct in assessing that Michonne is also eager because she was definitely bit by the love bug like Rick in these dreams and I love that he doesn’t tiptoe around it either.
It’s funny too cuz Richonne's TWD journey was a slow burn but in Rick's dreams, he’s like nah now we’re gonna move as quick as we low-key always wanted to move in real life lol.
I just love that he’s dreaming about flirting with Michonne like this and he clearly feels like she was someone he had to chase a little bit when she all seductively says, “Oh…I’m not” before shining her million-dollar smile and turning to walk away. 😊
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gif cred: @lousolversons
When she said "Oh, I'm not" I was like - now Ms. Purple, do you know that we can see you? Because the eagerness was for sure mutual. 😋
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It’s interesting that Rick's mind dreams up Michonne flirtily saying she’s not eager. It could be just because Rick remembers Michonne as being a bit more discreet than him when it came to falling in love with each other. Or maybe it’s more a present nod to how after years apart, Rick deep down knows the real Michonne has likely had to grow less and less eager about the possibility of ever being with him again. 
When Michonne turns to leave, Rick watches her and yells out, “Can I at least…” I’m assuming he was about to ask for her name or number but we’ll never know because the dream is abruptly interrupted by a knock on real Rick’s door as he’s sadly plucked back into reality. 😞
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gif cred: @lousolversons
But I just love that Rick was in full pursuit mode in these dreams and was craving to know more about this mysterious stunning woman who had stolen his heart before she left. Like he was so locked into her and did not want to let her go in these dreams. And I love it because the real Rick is the same way. That thing Rick told Michonne in their very first conversation in season 3 still holds true - “Can’t let you leave.” 
It really was a great choice to have Rick dream about falling in love with Michonne because those two were constantly falling deeper in love on TWD. Like after each time jump in the main show I noticed I was never just like 'oh good, Rick and Michonne are still in love,' I was like 'oh wow, Rick and Michonne are more in love than before.' 🥰
And the dreams also show that Rick loved/loves pursuing her and replays that because really it’s the biggest win in the world that he wanted Michonne and got her considering she’s the greatest woman on the planet. 💁🏽‍♀️
It’s also so sweet that while in reality he already knows Michonne inside and out, in his dreams Rick is just so elated to rediscover her and learn/earn her again and again before having to endure another day with the CRM.
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gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck
So then Rick startles awake and tiredly says, “Coming” and when the loud knocking on his door continues he says a more frustrated, “Coming” as Okafor says, “Come on Rick, class is in session.” I love Rick's sleepy voice and also it’s kinda cute cuz this implies that Rick knew he had somewhere to be but wanted to take a little nap and be with Michonne first before this meeting with Okafor and Pearl. Again, that dream time with her is his absolute favorite part of life. 
Also him in that black fit - another towl blessing ijs. 😇
Rick walks with Pearl and Okafor to a dark arena where he takes out a walker in their path. Okafor grabs the dog tag off the corpse and has a very even-keeled reaction to affirming it was a soldier, likely a soldier he killed in the arena bombing. It just goes to show that Okafor has a certain level of detachment from what he’s had to do because he believes it was all for the greater good.
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gif cred: @nerd4music
That seems to be a thing with people who buy into the CRM, you have to eliminate anything personal about you and just emotionlessly be a part of some larger purpose. 
Okafor finally lets Rick and Pearl in on his plan to help the two become higher-ups in the CRM so they can improve it from the inside. Rick reminds Okafor he tried to escape four times and that’s the Rick I know. Of course, he’d been trying over and over to get home.
Okafor explains the whole A and B thing and how Rick and Pearl are A’s, meaning strong leaders with a mind of their own. (Even tho I think there's one sneak among these three As 🧐)
Rick and Pearl learn they weren’t killed like other As because Okafor looked out for them since he needed them to help change the CRM. And it’s interesting he hands Rick the Art of Peace book that Morgan studied with the cheesemaker. It’s like Okafor is going to be to Rick what Eastman was to Morgan, slowly trying to convince Rick to adopt his philosophy. 
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gif cred: @perryabbott
I like the line “Being a monster to fight the monsters, that can’t last.” It feels like it speaks to a major theme within this TWD franchise regarding who you think you have to become to survive.
Okafor says they’ll get the echelon briefing and the way Rick reacts you can tell he just does not give a damn about moving up the ranks. He’s pissed enough that he’s had to assimilate into the CRM at all when he just wants to go home and now they’re talking about him being brought further into this system. He’s over it.
It’s also really interesting to see Rick in ep 1 so disinterested in all this CRM stuff and Okafor’s mission and then when Michonne finds him a year later he’s clearly had a lot more time to be programmed. And I don't mean he gets programmed into believing the CRM’s values, but more believing that they are an impossible force to escape from and therefore all that can be done is to use your life to make the CRM better. 
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gif cred: @perryabbott
Rather than want to know more about Okafor’s plan, Rick instead wants to know about how under the table this whole arena meeting is. He asks if the CRM wants him and Pearl to be leaders and if the higher-ups even know about this meeting tonight and the insider info Okafor is spilling.
Okafor says the CRM doesn’t know and that he believes As in power is the only thing that can change things. Again Rick doesn’t care about all that, so instead he says, “So if we share with the higher-ups that you’re saying these things…”
It’s interesting that Rick is taking an approach of almost wanting Okafor to worry he’ll expose him. I don’t think Rick is actually considering sharing about this with the higher ups but I think he also wants Okafor to know he’s not sold on trusting this whole situation.
Then Pearl cuts Rick off to let him know that she and him are not a “we” so he has to speak for himself.
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gif cred: @perryabbott
Rick adjusts the statement and because he’s actually an A he looks over at Pearl (a B with a poker face, imo) and says, “If I’m an A - If I think for myself…” then he turns to Okafor to finish with, “Why do you think I’m gonna go along with this?”
Something is interesting about seeing Rick as just a member of an army when he had led whole communities for so long in TWD. But as Rick challenges Okafor in this arena, we see that signature leader Rick. He’s not just some guy to puppeteer for others' missions, good or bad. He’s an opinionated leader in his own right. 
Okafor answers that he believes if Rick or Pearl had a chance to save the world they would. “You’d have to.” Rick looks like he’s rolling that thought around in his head and thinking, “I would really only want to save the world if it’s with my wife, otherwise pass.”
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gif cred: @perryabbott
The meeting continues as Rick's voiceover again gives his wife the details about how Okafor wanted his help to change things. Rick says “I’d play along. But it wasn’t my fight.”
Rick can be very hyper-focused on his missions and Okafor’s mission couldn’t become his fight yet because at this point his fight was still solely about getting back to Michonne and Judith. His sole goal is still to get back to the two ladies who were taken from him. And I appreciate that he always wants Michonne to be assured of that in these letters he writes.
But in this next moment, Rick gets a heartrending perspective shift on who's really the one that’s been gone. 😢👌🏽
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ach-sss-no · 5 months
Text
someone asked why i loudly asserted that the stewing rabbits bit of lotr is the opposite book vs. movie and i think it is time to move off of the giant reblog chain i'm making
The Premise: Sam, Frodo and Gollum are all doing the opposite of what they are doing in the book in some fashion or another
(first off: in the movie they abandon the stew and don't eat it. the book takes a lot longer with all of this, and they do in fact eat the stew, and I definitely understand the movie couldn't be as expansive with the pacing but it's just. funny to me. they don't eat the stew vs. they do eat the stew, there's your first opposite)
now. THE SCENE: Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit
(Small disclaimer/disclosure: I referenced the script instead of a movie clip for this, so there may be some nuance missed in visuals or whatever but I don't think it would be enough of a difference to matter and hopefully you will soon see why not)
Frodo
Starting with him because this is simplest.
In the movie, Frodo is just sitting there minding his own business when Gollum dumps dead rabbits in his lap. (Then he doesn't interact with the ensuing conversation at all)
In the book he's asleep when Gollum brings the rabbits and does not participate in the scene. Okay, so he's awake vs. asleep. Easy.
(Also, book Frodo didn't witness the conflict between the other two characters and had no opportunity to intervene, which creates an interesting 'what could have been', but I am digressing. We are only 10% of the way in. buckle up)
Sam
In the movie, Sam is passive and reacting. Gollum dumps dead rabbits in Mr. Frodo's lap oh no what do I guess we'll cook them
In the book, Sam is active and orchestrating events.
Sam decides of his own accord that he wants to address their dwindling supplies:
Sam had been giving earnest thought to food as they marched. Now that the despair of the impassable Gate was behind him, he did not feel so inclined as his master to take no thought for their livelihood beyond the end of their errand; [in case you forgot. Earlier on Sam was like 'we won't have enough food for the way back' and frodo essentially responds with 'the way back. oh you sweet summer child'] and anyway it seemed wiser to him to save the waybread of the Elves for worse times ahead.
Note: This is all very good reasoning by Mr. Samwise and an excellent example of why he's so necessary to the quest! Yes, staying alive is step one.
But Where to get food? In both movie and book Sam is taking advantage of his resources (dead rabbits acquired via gollum), but in the book he's way more proactive about it:
An idea struck him and he turned to Gollum. Gollum had just begun to sneak off on his own, and he was crawling away on all fours through the fern. 'Hi! Gollum!' said Sam. 'Where are you going? Hunting? Well see here, old noser, you don't like our food, and I'd not be sorry for a change myself. Your new motto's always ready to help. Could you find anything fit for a hungry hobbit? ' 'Yes, perhaps, yes,' said Gollum. 'Sméagol always helps, if they asks-- if they asks nicely.' 'Right!' said Sam. 'I does ask. And if that isn't nice enough, I begs.'
In this point in the book Sam has now:
Decided of his own accord that he has a problem and that he wants to actively solve it
Arrived at a solution to the problem without any outside help or suggestions
Commanded Gollum to go hunt
In the point in the movie Sam has done:
Nothing
I'm not exaggerating. In the movie the scene hasn't started yet.
In both book and movie, rabbits are acquired a little while later. In the book this is a nonevent because Sam requested and expected rabbits. In the movie, the rabbits unexpectedly appear, and Gollum says they are for the hobbits to eat (Sam doesn't even come up with the idea to eat them on his own!)
They are young. They are tender. They are nice. Yes they are! Eat them! Eat them! [He bites and tears into the raw meat.]
GOLLUM SHOWED HIM HOW TO EAT THEM LIKE A MOTHER CAT.
Anyway, in the movie, we just cut to Sam stewing the rabbits after that.
But in the book, Sam isn't done arranging things:
He thought for a bit, while he took out his knife, cleaned and whetted it, and began to dress the rabbits. He was not going to leave Frodo alone asleep even for a few minutes. 'Now, Gollum,' he said, 'I've another job for you. Go and fill these pans with water, and bring 'em back! '
'Sméagol will fetch water, yes,' said Gollum. 'But what does the hobbit want all that water for? He has drunk, he has washed.' 'Never you mind,' said Sam. `If you can't guess, you'll soon find out. And the sooner you fetch the water, the sooner you'll learn. Don't you damage one of my pans, or I'll carve you into mincemeat.'
So now Sam has:
Decided of his own accord that he has a problem and that he wants to actively solve it
Arrived at a solution to the problem without any outside help or suggestions
Commanded Gollum to go hunt
Lovingly watched Frodo sleep
Collected rabbits after they were provided and begun skinning them
Assigned Gollum to fill his cook-pans
Gollum leaves to do this new errand and Sam starts building a cook fire.
He was just stooping over his fire, shielding it and building it up with heavier wood, when Gollum returned, carrying the pans carefully and grumbling to himself. He set the pans down, and then suddenly saw what Sam was doing. He gave a thin hissing shriek, and seemed to be both frightened and angry. 'Ach! Sss -- no!' he cried. 'No! Silly hobbits, foolish, yes foolish! They mustn't do it!' 'Mustn't do what?' asked Sam in surprise. 'Not make the nassty red tongues,' hissed Gollum. `Fire, fire! It's dangerous, yes it is. It burns, it kills. And it will bring enemies, yes it will.'
Sam has just been given a completely sane and rational reason why a fire is a bad idea (they are in a dangerous area and can't risk attention!) (as well as a reason that is less pertinent- it looks like Gollum is afraid of fire, and he may have sensible reasons to be afraid of fire because it is dangerous, but this is not Sam's problem)
Sam addresses the 'it will bring enemies' thing
'I don't think so,' said Sam. `Don't see why it should, if you don't put wet stuff on it and make a smother. But if it does, it does. I'm going to risk it, anyhow. I'm going to stew these coneys.'
And Sam is like, nah.
Now Gollum gets upset that he's 'ruining good meat' by cooking it
Now Sam de-escalates
Now, now! ' said Sam. 'Each to his own fashion. Our bread chokes you, and raw coney chokes me. If you give me a coney, the coney's mine, see, to cook, if I have a mind. And I have. You needn't watch me. Go and catch another and eat it as you fancy -- somewhere private and out o' my sight. Then you won't see the fire, and I shan't see you, and we'll both be the happier. [He still managed to slip in a 'get out of my sight'] I'll see the fire don't smoke, if that's any comfort to you.'
In the movie he just insults the quality of the meat:
SAM What's to ruin? There's hardly any meat on 'em.
...which I suppose is fair in this alternate universe where the rabbits were just dumped in his lap, unwanted.
Then in the movie they skip to the taters conversation, but in the book, there's more!
Back to the book:
Gollum withdrew grumbling, and crawled into the fern. Sam busied himself with his pans. 'What a hobbit needs with coney,' he said to himself, 'is some herbs and roots, especially taters -- not to mention bread. Herbs we can manage, seemingly.' 'Gollum!' he called softly. 'Third time pays for all. I want some herbs.'
Gollum says no.
'Sméagol'll get into real true hot water, when this water boils, if he don't do as he's asked,' growled Sam. 'Sam'll put his head in it, yes precious. And I'd make him look for turnips and carrots, and taters too, if it was the time o' the year. I'll bet there's all sorts of good things running wild in this country. I'd give a lot for half a dozen taters.'
Now Gollum asks what taters are, gets a cryptic answer, and is offered a kind of food he has just expressed he does not want (cooked food) and again ordered to fetch herbs. Gollum declines.
'You couldn't say no to that.' 'Yes, yes we could. Spoiling nice fish, scorching it. Give me fish now, and keep nassty chips!' 'Oh you're hopeless,' said Sam. 'Go to sleep!'
The movie finally has some of the same words in almost the same place:
SAM PO-TAY-TOES! Boil 'em. Mash 'em. Stick 'em in a stew. Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish…. SM�AGOL [i'm not fixing it blah] [Sticks out his tongue in disgust] Pbbbttt!! [so now he's just devolved into making fart noises] SAM Even you couldn't say no to that. [He takes a sip of the stew] SM�AGOL Oh yes we could! Spoil nice fish... [scrambles up close to Sam] Give it to usss rrraw... and wrrriggling! [That line is not in the book. every time i see it quoted i age a year] [Makes sickeningly happy face.] You keep nasty chips. [Hops away] SAM You're hopeless.
The scene here ends in the movie.
In the movie, Sam has:
Watched rabbits be thrown at Frodo
Started cooking them after being all but commanded to eat them
Had some banter with Gollum
Left the scene without eating his stew
Sam is a passive character who is not orchestrating events, but rather reacting to them. A character being passive is not in and of itself a bad thing. I am only pointing it out because it is different from the book and a big change to this specific character (wanted to mention that because some people really don't like passive characters in general, I think they have a place. Frodo is rather passive in this scene but he obviously has a purpose.)
...In the book, Sam stews the rabbits for an hour and then eats the stew with Frodo
Frodo yawned and stretched. 'You should have been resting Sam,' he said. 'And lighting a fire was dangerous in these parts.
Wow! Was it? I feel like someone mentioned that earlier.
'Gollum! ' Sam called and whistled softly. 'Come on! Still time to change your mind. There's some left, if you want to try stewed coney.' There was no answer. 'Oh well, I suppose he's gone off to find something for himself. We'll finish it,' said Sam. [...] We don't see eye to eye, and he's not pleased with Sam, O no precious, not pleased at all.'
Whyever not?
To sum, book!Sam has:
Decided of his own accord that he has a problem and that he wants to actively solve it
Decided he's going to assign Gollum to the problem (This also demonstrates Sam's interpersonal intelligence. He notices what Gollum's capable of and understands intuitively how it can be turned to something industrious and useful) (Sam has made some missteps in other areas which are in the next section)
Commanded Gollum to go hunt
Collected rabbits after they were provided (according to his request), and began skinning them
Watched Frodo sleep
Assigned Gollum to fill his cook-pans, specifically because he does not want to leave Gollum and Frodo alone together, which is sensible
Threatened to carve Gollum into mincemeat, while holding a knife
Watched Frodo sleep and reflected on his poor health
Skinned the rabbits and put them in stew
Been told a cook fire is a bad idea and declined to stop what he's doing. A character being told to stop doing something & continuing with it anyway is another way for that character to show agency.
Asked Gollum to fetch herbs and potatoes (was refused)
Foraged a few herbs himself
Eaten lovely stew (while lamenting that there are no onions in it, and no bowls to put it in ;_;)
Offered Gollum stew long after (hours after) Gollum got angry and left
...all because Sam initially decided he wanted to acquire and cook food, and then took every necessary step to make that happen of his own accord.
Sam is an active character with high agency.
He is also showing more care for Frodo here (watching him while asleep and fretting over his health, lamenting that he somehow made rabbit stew from nothing by using his resources (which do here include another character- people are also resources!) but he can't put it in a nice bowl for mr. frodo- there's just a lot more here, which is natural because prose is a more detail-rich medium. Not all of this would have fit in the movie and I'm not saying it should have.
Even allowing for time, however, I do think there would have been a way to collapse this scene to the needed time requirement and still have Sam in charge of it instead of Gollum.
The scene finally ends on:
Then he noticed a thin spiral of blue-grey, smoke, plain to see as it caught the sunlight, rising from a thicket above him. With a shock he realized that this was the smoke from his little cooking-fire, which he had neglected to put out.
Did anyone foresee this?
Gollum
In the movie, Gollum is foisting a gift on Frodo and forcing social interaction that he doesn't want.
In the book, Gollum wants to go away somewhere so he can eat and is pressed into reluctant manual labor instead
Gollum is a little different from the other two characters in that his personality and motivations are also completely different here. (Where as Sam at least still has the same goals of looking after Frodo and making food.)
The scene is in Sam's POV so what Gollum is thinking and feeling has to be inferred from his actions/words/tone, but he's not exactly subtle.
The movie scene starts off with Gollum turning up with rabbits. He dumps them in Frodo's lap. He makes a spectacle of himself. He starts mauling the corpses.
The book scene starts off with Gollum trying to slip away somewhere to eat in private.
That's another thing. Gollum doesn't demonstratively bite into things Gollum always slips away somewhere to eat in private. Earlier:
It was actually not long before Gollum returned; but he came so quietly that they did not hear him till he stood before them. His fingers and face were soiled with black mud. He was still chewing and slavering. [He didn't bring food back on purpose. He's still chewing because he only has six teeth.] What he was chewing, they did not ask or like to think. 'Worms or beetles or something slimy out of holes,' thought Sam. 'Brr! The nasty creature; the poor wretch! ' Gollum said nothing to them, until he had drunk deeply and washed himself in the stream. Then he came up to them, licking his lips. 'Better now,' he said.
(Emphasis added.. Imagine you just recruited a serial killer to your D&D-party-in-real-life and he silently turns up covered in mud and won't talk to you. It looks like he's been eating bugs. He won't speak. he won't tell you what he's eating.)
Back to the scene in question: Gollum's leaving. Sam flags him down and asks him to hunt.
'Hi! Gollum!' said Sam. 'Where are you going? Hunting? Well see here, old noser, you don't like our food, and I'd not be sorry for a change myself. Your new motto's always ready to help. Could you find anything fit for a hungry hobbit? '
He asks in an insulting and confrontational way. ('old noser' + 'Your new motto's always ready to help' reeking of suspicion)
To be clear, I'm not criticizing Sam whatsoever for disliking and being suspicious of the known murderer he's traveling with against his will. but the way he talks to Gollum does have consequences.
'Yes, perhaps, yes,' said Gollum. 'Sméagol always helps, if they asks -- if they asks nicely.'
Gollum is reluctant and asks to be treated politely. I don't find this response disproportionate or unreasonable. Consider what would happen if anyone talked to LOTR-era Bilbo Baggins the way Sam just talked to Gollum. The ash would still be falling from the sky.
Anyway Sam's response is to mimic the way he talks.
'Right!' said Sam. 'I does ask. And if that isn't nice enough, I begs.'
Gollum leaves, and is gone a long time. While he's gone, Sam gazes lovingly at Frodo, and - this is not directly relevant but I wanted to note it:
Gollum returned quietly and peered over Sam's shoulder. Looking at Frodo, he shut his eyes and crawled away without a sound. [Seeing that Sam and Frodo are occupied, Gollum slips away without interrupting, which is also a different vibe from 'assaulting Frodo with rabbits while he's just sitting there.'] Sam came to him a moment later and found him chewing something and muttering to himself
Look! There's a character arc happening in the background [but not in the movies] It will reach fruition at Cirith Ungol [in the books]
Anyway, Gollum is chewing on something so he's clearly taken time out to hunt for himself as well (note for context: He's disastrously underweight and has been complaining of hunger).
On the ground beside him lay two small rabbits, which he was beginning to eye greedily. 'Sméagol always helps,' he said. `He has brought rabbits, nice rabbits. But master has gone to sleep, and perhaps Sam wants to sleep. Doesn't want rabbits now? Sméagol tries to help, but he can't catch things all in a minute.'
Gollum has brought rabbits on command, and he's reluctant to hand them over. This is the direct opposite of bringing rabbits of his own accord out of nowhere and forcing them onto somebody.
'Now, Gollum,' he said, 'I've another job for you. Go and fill these pans with water, and bring 'em back! ' 'Sméagol will fetch water, yes,' said Gollum. 'But what does the hobbit want all that water for? He has drunk, he has washed.' 'Never you mind,' said Sam.
That was a reasonable question, asked politely and prefaced by 'yes I'll do it'. There's no call for a 'never you mind' and there's certainly no call for this:
`If you can't guess, you'll soon find out. And the sooner you fetch the water, the sooner you'll learn. Don't you damage one of my pans, or I'll carve you into mincemeat.'
Gollum does the work and is careful with the pans as requested.
He was just stooping over his fire, shielding it and building it up with heavier wood, when Gollum returned, carrying the pans carefully and grumbling to himself.
He set the pans down, and then suddenly saw what Sam was doing.
Gollum discovers that 'Never you mind' meant 'I am going to do something you find dangerous and terrifying' i'm pretty sure this is what he's seeing in his POV
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He gave a thin hissing shriek, and seemed to be both frightened and angry. `Ach! Sss -- no!' he cried.
Gollum gets angry.
At this point in the movie, Gollum has:
Dumped rabbits in Frodo's lap
Told him to eat them
Played with the dead animals in front of Frodo
there's a cut to Sam cooking the rabbits- Gollum makes no comment at all on the safety or feasibility of a fire, but gets right up close to it to peer into the cookpot, so he must not be too scared of it.
In the book, Gollum has:
Tried to slip away, presumably to eat, because he's hungry. Or maybe he just wants alone time! Shelob is not in visiting range. He's not being dastardly. Leave him alone
He's been flagged down to do additional work, and interrupted from whatever he wanted to do
Went off somewhere. Caught two rabbits (with his bare hands, I assume??) Also caught at least one other thing, because he's chewing something when he comes back
Came back with rabbits
Left Sam to his tender moment with Frodo and went off for more alone time
Gently floated the idea that perhaps Sam doesn't want these rabbits anymore, surrendered the rabbits when asked
Agreed to another errand that is probably difficult for him to do, after hunting down at least two rabbits Up to this point Gollum has been called 'old noser', had his speech patterns parroted at him in a mocking way, had a polite question refused, and been told he will be 'carved into mincemeat' if he damages the cooking pans (does Gollum even know what a cooking pan is? When was the last time he's seen one? Was he just handed some foreign object and told 'put water in it and don't break it' 'of course! why?' 'stfu') Gollum has a whole long complicated history that would reasonably make him very prone to difficulties with emotional regulation. Severe trauma and centuries of social isolation are involved.
He only just now gets angry, now that he thinks Sam is going to start a forest fire and summon orcs and the first word out of his mouth is a relatively restrained 'Ach!' a word that doesn't even start with an F!
Gollum says fire is harmful and will draw enemy attention. Sam says essentially 'probably not but if it does that's too bad'.
Another bit of context is that Gollum has been presenting himself as the 'wilderness survival guy' and has obvious pride when he's talking about finding his way through the marsh. Sam isn't just being dismissive of Gollum, he's particularly dismissing something Gollum has real knowledge of and takes pride in that has nothing to do with being a corrupted evildoer.
Then Sam says he's going to cook the food.
'Stew the rabbits!' squealed Gollum in dismay. `Spoil beautiful meat Sméagol saved for you, poor hungry Sméagol! What for? What for, silly hobbit? They are young, they are tender, they are nice. Eat them, eat them!' He clawed at the nearest rabbit, already skinned and lying by the fire.
After all of that, we are at 'They are young, they are tender, they are nice. Eat them, eat them!' In the movie, the scene started with this line, apropros of nothing, and it's just. Yelled at Frodo. It's an invitation.
In the book: The same line is a cry of frustration. This isn't a non sequitur, this is a last straw! Gollum is hungry. He's been chronically hungry for a long time. The rabbits are exactly the kind of thing he likes to eat. They must smell amazing to him because now they're skinned. He had to turn them over to Sam after going to the work of hunting them (he didn't have to do this, he could have just not come back, or pretended he didn't find anything- whether or not his motives are pure, and they probably aren't, he's doing what he promised).
In return: Sam told him to do more work, and then started a fire- which Gollum seems to genuinely think is idiotic and puts his own safety at risk because he's stuck with these hobbits for the time being- Sam won't listen to reason and put it out, and to add insult to injury, that meat he insisted on?
HE'S JUST GOING TO RUIN IT
Imagine you were hungry and you brought someone an oreo (also you had to wander around in the woods and find the oreo and then surprise it from behind and break its neck), and that person just! scraped off the cream filling and replaced it with spray cheese! after that person called you a jerk and set a fire in a trash can! Maybe that person loves spray-cheese oreos! Maybe everyone but you loves them! I think you'd still be frustrated! (If you're the person who loves spray cheese oreos, pretend it's something else.)
On my first reading of the book this is where I got that sinking 'I am feeling a mite sympathetic to the horrible murderer that I know is just going to stay evil and die in the end' feeling. Gollum is being dreadfully annoying, but he's been pushed past his ability to self-regulate. It feels like the dynamic of antagonizing someone until they melt down and then criticizing them for melting down (Sam is not intending to do this, and doesn't even seem to notice that's what's happened, but the result is the same.)
Sam smooths things over and lets Gollum leave! until
Until
'Gollum!' he called softly. 'Third time pays for all. I want some herbs.' Gollum's head peeped out of the fern, but his looks were neither helpful nor friendly.
WHYEVER NOT?
'A few bay-leaves, some thyme and sage, will do -- before the water boils,' said Sam. 'No! ' said Gollum. `Sméagol is not pleased. And Sméagol doesn't like smelly leaves. He doesn't eat grasses or roots, no precious, not till he's starving or very sick, poor Sméagol.'
(Gollum was retching at the scent of flowers earlier. He may be annoyingly dramatic but I have no cause to doubt that they really did make him feel ill)
(also, I'm out in the weeds speculating now, but I just noticed Gollum is starting to spout off talking about himself and how he feels after Sam pooh-poohed his fretting about the fire, and it feels like a bid for recognition, did you notice Sam has not been calling him Sméagol? Sam isn't using his real name.)
The response:
'Sméagol'll get into real true hot water, when this water boils, if he don't do as he's asked,' growled Sam.
Gollum is here under duress and is cooperating with a quest that is in every way opposed to his personal interests and survival.
'Sméagol won't go, O no precious, not this time,' hissed Gollum. 'He's frightened, and he's very tired, and this hobbit's not nice, not nice at all. Sméagol won't grub for roots and carrotses and -- taters. What's taters, precious, eh, what's taters?
He hasn't had any rest because he was immediately sent off to hunt. I'll bet he is tired
Gollum is still willing to stop being angry because he saw a shiny new word, let's see how this goes
`Po-ta-toes,' said Sam. 'The Gaffer's delight, and rare good ballast for an empty belly. But you won't find any, so you needn't look. But be good Sméagol and fetch me the herbs, and I'll think better of you
Sam gives a cryptic answer and demands more work. 'I'll think better of you?' Lies! Gollum just did two errands and received nothing but more verbal abuse. Sam did not even thank him. This was where on my first reading I was saying to myself 'oh no Sam is mishandling this really badly and doesn't even notice'
I'll cook you some taters one of these days. I will: fried fish and chips served by S. Gamgee. You couldn't say no to that.' 'Yes, yes we could. Spoiling nice fish, scorching it. Give me fish now, and keep nassty chips! ' 'Oh you're hopeless,' said Sam. 'Go to sleep!'
Gollum doesn't understand what chips are. He just said he doesn't like plants or cooked food. He's tired and hungry and has been ordered around all day. He did everything asked up to now and in return he gets called hopeless.
Sméagol willingly, nonconfrontationally, successfully did two out of the three tasks, and when he refuses a third task after being demeaned and dismissed, he's called hopeless.
So Gollum leaves. That's the end of his involvement in this scene. he didn't hit anyone, bite anyone, or call Sam anything worse than 'not nice', 'silly' and 'foolish' (He does not call Sam a 'stupid fat hobbit', that appears to be a movie invention as well)
In the movies, he threw dead animals at frodo and some of this dialog was said without any of the context. haha funni.
The takeaways from the book version are that Gollum can understand and follow verbal commands and do errands (this is important because Gollum needs to be somewhat sane and lucid in order to satisfyingly be held accountable for his crimes), will cooperate when asked, communicates poorly, has trouble controlling his temper, and may at any time be in physical distress and not show it. (He doesn't give outward signs of fatigue.)
The takeaways from the movie version seem to be that Gollum is hyperactive, doesn't understand facial expressions, and finds cooking to be an alien custom. No one tried to ask him to do anything, so I have no idea whether he can understand requests and do tasks or not. May or may not be lucid.
Can we at least agree that Sam saying 'You're hopeless' after this:
Give it to usss rrraw… and wrrriggling! [Makes sickeningly happy face.]
is a different vibe from Sam saying 'You're hopeless' after hearing this?
'[Sméagol]'s frightened, and he's very tired, and this hobbit's not nice, not nice at all.'
Summary
Why is this scene the opposite?
Frodo has gone from being asleep but serving as an emotional anchor (both Sam and Gollum look at him and have some kind of emotional revelation, although the latter has his in private and we don't ever know what it is, the cad) to being awake but doing nothing and leaving. (He does go and find Faramir when the scene ends, but at that point, we are moving on to the next scene. so I don't count it.) Frodo has gone from affecting events while asleep to having no effect while awake
Sam has gone from being in charge of what's happening to passively reacting to a chaos gremlin
Gollum has gone from following orders until he can't take it anymore and suffering to being a chaos gremlin who does whatever he wants and seemingly having a good time? he's dancing around
The stew goes from eaten to uneaten
The overall purpose of the original scene appears to have been mainly to establish character and relationship dynamics. The movie scene... is doing the same, I suppose, but it's so brief and stripped of context that it almost feels like an homage more than a real scene, like it's there because they couldn't get away with entirely cutting it. And as every character is behaving contrary to what they used to in one form or another, the overall effect is:
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Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Ask me about the waterfall scene next
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