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onlyhuis · 6 months

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love thy neighbor

member — fwb! neighbor!joshua x f reader genre — smut, light angst, college au, idiots to lovers, happy ending word count — 5.1k synopsis — there's perks to having your fwb live next door to you, but there's also downsides. like the fact that it's really hard to hide that you're in love with him. warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, one mention of periods, masturbation (both reader & joshua), the smut is REALLY quick, premature ejaculation sort of, a little bit of body worship, nicknames (baby, good girl), not really described but implied creampie, they are idiots and they are in love and it's gross and sweet notes — tysm to @wongyuseokie & @onlymingyus for help choosing the banner <3 and thanks to @petrichor-han for this idea !! fun fact this was originally going to be for skz han but i figured it would also make a great shua fic so i chose him instead. fun fact #2 i am addicted to giving shua's fics religious titles even when there's no mention of religion in the fic at all lmao. it gives me a giggle like how could i not when it fits so well?? also this is one of my few attempts at angst so if you liked this please reblog or send and ask and lmk how you liked it! hope you enjoy!!

joshua should be asleep right now.

really, he should. it’s 11pm on a sunday night and he’s got his chemistry lab at 8am tomorrow, and he’s still got a couple of assignments that he really needs to catch up on before the final next week.

but then there's that bump against the wall that he’s grown so accustomed to, and his eyes fly open.

maybe becoming fuck buddies with your next-door neighbor isn't the smartest idea he's ever had, because this is the fourth time this week he's had to hear your moans as he tries to fall asleep.

the walls are thin, but he's certain that you must not realize just how thin they are, because he can hear every sound you make as clear as day. every whimper, every buzz of your vibrator, even every moan of his name, barely muffled by the wall separating his room from yours. especially every moan of his name. and it’s been driving him insane.

really, it’s his own fault for trying to be a polite neighbor. he almost wishes that he hadn’t run into you when you’d moved into the apartment next door at the beginning of the semester, because then he probably wouldn’t have recognized you at that party during homecoming weekend and got to talking with you.

and because of that he probably wouldn’t have taken you home from said party and given you the best dicking down of your life (your words, not his), and then after that you probably wouldn’t have decided that you wanted to keep fucking him and agreed to become friends with benefits.

except he doesn’t actually wish that at all.

having your situationship live right next door is pretty convenient, after all. you’ll shoot him an “omw” text and be waiting at his front door seconds later. he forgot to bring condoms? it’ll just take a sec to run home and grab some. when you accidentally leave your panties in his apartment, he can drop them off the same day and then forget about it (he definitely won’t).

he could probably even just bang on his side of the wall and you’d know to come over, but to him that’s a little too far, too impolite. he at least has the decency to send a text first.

a part of him wonders if that’s why you’re so noisy at night, if you’re doing it on purpose and knowing he’ll hear it, secretly hoping for him to come knocking at your door. but he doesn’t want to assume, doesn’t want to show up without asking and realize he’s been completely wrong this whole time and make himself look like a fool.

so he settles for earplugs instead. because there’s no way he can sit there and listen to the sounds you make and not start thinking about all the times he’s been in your bed with you just inches away. and by the time he’s cum all over his fist and he’s finally worn himself out enough to fall asleep, it’s 4am and he has class in the morning and he’s wasted an entire night yet again.

he’s been inside your apartment dozens of times, enough to know the layout by heart. enough to know that your bedroom sits directly next to his, enough to know that your bed is pushed against that very thin wall the same way his is and that your nightstand with the drawer full of toys is right next to the bed.

oh, he’s gotten to know more than just your apartment over the course of the semester. he knows which positions are your favorite (you’ve never told him outright, but you always cum harder when he fucks you in missionary). he knows the names you like to be called and the ones you like to call him. he can even tell which vibrator you’re using right now (the red one doesn’t buzz as loud, so you only use it when your favorite purple one is dead. tonight you’re using the purple one.)

but he’s also gotten to know the way you smile when you see a cat video, the way your forehead wrinkles when you talk about your calculus professor, and the way you like your pancakes in the morning (though he’s never been able to make them for you himself, he swears one day he will. one slice of butter, a ton of syrup, and a handful of cut up strawberries.)

so maybe that’s what makes these nights so unbearable. he can keep lying to himself that it doesn’t bother him, that it wouldn’t bother him as much as it does if he just… didn’t like you.

but, unfortunately, he does like you. and he’s stuck with this problem until he finds a way to fix it, but just like in the lab analyses he has to write every week, he’s got no ideas. so he’ll have to settle for fucking his hand and biting his pillow so you don’t get suspicious of the noises he’s making, and hope that his silly little crush goes away on its own.

after all, he isn’t anything to you. albeit a sexual one, he’s still just a friend. and he’s certain that’s all you want.

god, you wish that joshua could see you right now. you’re certain he’d love it.

earlier tonight you’d had to physically force yourself to turn your phone off so that you wouldn’t be tempted to text him to come over. you’d already texted him on monday night and thursday afternoon, and you’d knocked on his door on saturday at practically the crack of dawn because you’d woken up thinking about him.

were you embarrassed about it? absolutely, but that wasn’t enough to stop you. okay, maybe sometimes it was, because the girl who lived across the hall had caught you (on multiple occasions) sneaking out of joshua’s apartment twice in one day and you refused to meet him again for nearly a week after that.

but joshua didn’t seem one bit embarrassed by your arrangement. he always gave you a friendly smile and offered to walk you to your door afterwards, which you always declined, and he always made sure to say he looked forward to seeing you again. you even saw him wave at the nosy neighbor girl when he’d left your apartment once (which you only remembered because you’d spent the rest of the night in tears about it, but not that you were jealous about it or anything).

you felt bad enough meeting up with him so often, but you felt even worse that you didn’t even have a label to show for it. you knew it was probably exactly what he’d wanted out of this, just somebody to call for a quick fuck, but it made you mad. it was why you got so angry about the girl across the hall; because you knew everybody loved joshua, so of course he couldn’t love only you.

he was hot and he was in a frat and he probably had a hundred girls he could call if he wanted to. with how often you text him to fuck, plus the other people he’s probably seeing? he’s gotta be exhausted.

which is why most nights you opt for touching yourself instead. in the months since you first met joshua, your vibrators have been going through batteries a lot faster than usual, a fact you’re not exactly proud of but will own up to nonetheless.

it’s not your fault that the image of him leaning over you, his thin gold chain dangling in your face as he fucks you is burned into your head practically 24 hours of the day. or the fact that his voice plays on repeat in your brain, specifically that one time he called you “baby” and you came so hard you nearly passed out.

so really, it’s actually his fault that he’s constantly on your mind. his fault for being sexy… or your fault for falling for him?

either way, you find yourself yet again with your pussy stuffed full of your own fingers and your favorite purple vibrator on your clit (you remembered to charge it last night, after you came to the thought of joshua fucking you on your kitchen counter), wishing he could be there to see it.

you close your eyes and picture him in front of you, holding the vibrator against your clit as he grins down at you. such a good girl, he’d say, brushing his thumb over your nipple with his free hand. you love this, don’t you?

“fuck, yes, joshua,” you reply, gasping as you push your fingers deeper inside. you arch off the bed a little, pushing your head back against your pillow. you’ve learned that he loves it when you call him by his full name instead of “shua” or “josh”; you don’t know why, but it always seems to drive him crazy, and you never fail to leave his apartment sore in all the best places afterwards.

you spread your legs a little wider and moan, rolling your cheek to the side as you imagine him fucking you with his fingers instead of your own. i can tell you’re getting close, imaginary joshua says with a smirk, his hand cupped against your pussy as he thrusts his fingers in and out at a bruising pace.

“mhm,” you whimper, curling your fingers and trying to convince yourself that it feels as good as when he does it. “please, joshua—”

you turn your vibrator up to the highest setting, your hips canting into the air as you squeeze your eyes tighter shut. you can feel the waves beginning to wash over you and you repeat his name like a plea, chanting it over and over until you can’t form words anymore.

cum for me, baby, all over my fingers, he says, and your mouth falls open as you let go, your knee accidentally smacking against the wall as your legs shake with pleasure. you keep your vibrator held firmly against your clit until it sends you over the edge again, still riding the high of your first orgasm as you struggle to breathe through it. joshua loves to overstimulate you, until all you can do is weakly push at his hands and beg him to leave your exhausted cunt alone.

the post-orgasm clarity soon starts to hit and you’re left with the realization that you just got off from pretending your neighbor is just as in love with you as you are with him. absolutely pathetic.

but your eyes are starting to droop and you’re quickly finding that you’re too tired to stay awake to think about how much of a loser you are, so you tuck your favorite vibrator back into its spot in your drawer and put your pajamas back on and tuck yourself into bed, trying not to wish joshua was there beside you instead of infinitely far away on the other side of the wall.

when joshua wakes up the next morning, he half expects you to be waiting outside his door again.

of course anyone would be annoyed at being woken up by their neighbor before 7am, but then you’d sheepishly told him that you’d had the most insane wet dream about him and he’d been more than happy to let you come in and bounce yourself on his lap while he watched the early morning sunlight stream through his bedroom window onto your cheeks.

pretty much the perfect morning, in his eyes, except for the fact that you hadn’t slept in his bed with him. you never sleep over and it’s obvious why, but maybe it’s for good reason: he won’t get so attached to you.

unfortunately, though, this morning you aren’t waiting for him, so he trudges to his kitchen to make himself one lonely cup of coffee and one lonely stack of frozen waffles and get ready for his day.

he’s started noticing patterns about when and why you text him, and he finds himself checking his phone all day.

on mondays, because you have all your classes on those days and you’re already exhausted so why not get fucked within an inch of your life before you settle in for the night?

on thursdays, usually in the afternoons because both your schedules happen to line up where he’s just finished his work shift and you’re on your break between classes so it leaves the perfect amount of time for him to eat you out.

if you have a particularly hectic morning you’ll text him right away and ask him if he’d come over once you get home that night, and he’ll reply that he can’t wait with a big red heart emoji.

in fact, most of the times you want to see him is when you’re stressed or upset, which makes sense to him but at the same time makes him a little disappointed. he hopes that you’d want to see him on your happiest days, because any day he gets to see you is automatically his happiest day. but he supposes that’s where you’ve drawn the line, and he’ll have to be okay with that.

joshua’s restless through his chem lab this morning, and then his english lecture, and then his shift at work, not-so patiently awaiting you to ask him about his plans tonight.

but you don’t text him at all on monday, and you don’t text him on tuesday, either. he catches you going into your apartment at the same time he’s leaving on wednesday, and he waves as usual but you just give him a small nod and hurriedly close your door behind you. he’s almost positive you’ll text him on thursday, but your lunch hour comes and goes without a word.

he almost never texts you first, because you text him so often and most of the time he’s already thinking about you anyway. so when sunday rolls around again and he still hasn’t heard anything from you, he thinks maybe you’re waiting for him to say something first this time.

he knows you’ve been home, because he’s heard your friends coming and going. maybe you’ve just been busy with other things and didn’t mean to ghost him. sure, you get together pretty often, but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen every single week. plans change and that’s fine, and it is right before finals week after all.

but even when you’re on your period and aren’t in the mood to see him, you usually send a text as a heads up, and he’s definitely not keeping track or anything but this week shouldn’t be one of them. he’s going through every possibility he can think of as to why you’ve seemingly disappeared, but he just can’t find a reason why.

but then he realizes something else; he’s stopped hearing you at night, too. and then he really starts to worry, because he remembers how upset you looked when he saw you in the hall and maybe something really awful happened to you and he’s been pouting in his room like a selfish idiot this whole time.

so he pulls up your contact, cursor blinking over the text box as he tries to figure out what to say.

hey, he decides on, and he’s surprised but happy when you read the message right away.

he waits a moment, but you don’t respond, so he texts again. you can talk to me, you know? about other stuff. i’m your friend.

he shakes his head and deletes that last sentence before pressing send. you read it immediately again, but it’s a long and agonizing few minutes before you reply.

okay

he frowns, not knowing what to say back. did i do something and make you mad? you seem upset and i’m sorry.

it’s nothing. don’t worry

joshua wants to say, but i do worry, but he knows that might be too far and he’s still not even sure what’s wrong.

so instead he stands up and walks out his front door, leaving his phone on his bed. he may be an idiot, but the least he can do is try to act like your friend.

you don’t answer when he knocks, so he calls your name. “i know you’re home, i can hear you through the wall.”

finally the lock clicks, and you open your door just a crack. “what do you mean, you can hear through the wall?”

he pauses. “i can hear you… walking around, and stuff. making noise. the walls are thin.” so you really didn’t know? oh god, now he feels like an asshole for listening, even if he was trying not to.

“oh. well.” you sigh and close your eyes, inhaling. “that’s embarrassing.”

“can we talk?” joshua asks, suddenly feeling exposed. he’s plenty comfortable in large groups of people, but when he’s around you he wants to hold you tight and keep you secret and safe, out of sight of any wandering eyes. standing out in the hallway where anyone could hear is not how he’d like this to go.

“sure,” you mumble, swinging your door open for him to come inside.

you close the door but don’t move from behind it, standing like you’re waiting for him to say something. so he does.

“listen. i know whatever this is, is messy,” he starts, gesturing between the two of you. “but you’re my friend, and i care about you and i want you to be happy.” he sighs. “so please tell me what’s wrong, because not texting you has been really weird, and if you want to end this then that’s fine and i’ll leave you alone, but don’t just ghost me. we’re still neighbors and i’m not a fan of awkward hallway conversations.”

you crack a smile for a second, but it quickly fades. “do you want to end this?”

“no, not really. but i don’t want you to feel like you have to keep doing this if you don’t like it.”

“i thought it was pretty obvious i did like it,” you say with an almost laugh.

he stares at you quietly. “then what’s going on?”

“i want to keep doing this, but i just… i don’t think i can,” you say, avoiding his eyes. “at least not like this.”

“what do you mean, ‘like this’?”

“joshua, because i like you. and i feel awful because i know we’re not on the same page and it feels like i’m taking advantage of you because you probably have a dozen other women telling you the exact same thing and it’s probably exhausting and it’s not what you want!”

his face contorts in shock at your words. “well, first, that’s not at all true. and second of all, stop trying to guess what i want without just talking to me. what is it that you want?”

“you! i don’t know. i don’t know what i want anymore,” you say, covering your face with your hands.

joshua’s not sure if he should hug you or not, but he really, really wants to. “is that all that’s been bothering you this week?” he asks softly.

“yeah,” you say, moving your hands but still avoiding his eyes. “it’s stupid. i know, and i’m sorry.”

he laughs, and you look up at him like he’s crazy. “you don’t have anything to be sorry for,” he says. “i’m sorry. because for months i’ve been wishing we could change this but i never said anything because this is what i thought you wanted.”

you keep staring at him, but he can’t read the emotion on your face. “so… what is this, then?”

“i’ll be whatever you want me to be for you. your fuck buddy, or your friend, or your boyfriend, whatever.”

“you really don’t see other people?” you ask, still unsure.

now it’s joshua’s turn to look at you like you’re crazy. “no, why would i want to? i don’t care if you do, but with how often you text me it sounds like you don’t, either.”

“i just figured— nevermind,” you sigh.

“can i give you a hug?” he asks after a minute. “we’ve been sleeping together the whole semester, and i don’t think i’ve ever given you a real, proper hug.”

you smile, and seeing that instantly makes his day. “yes, please.”

his arms feel secure around you, and his chest is warm against your cheek. with a sigh you close your eyes, breathing in the smell of his cologne that you’ve been trying to push out of your brain for weeks.

you stand there for a while, neither of you making any moves to pull away. it's been a really, really long week without joshua and you didn’t realize how badly you missed him until this moment.

“so about the walls thing—”

“hm?” he mumbles.

“—you can really hear everything?”

he laughs. “oh, yeah. your bedroom is right next to mine. been having trouble sleeping for so long because i kept hearing you moan my name and it got me hard every time.”

your cheeks burn in embarrassment. “joshua, i’m so sorry! if i had known—”

he shakes his head, cutting you off. “you can make it up to me by telling me everything you were thinking about.”

“probably nothing you don't already know,” you grin shyly.

“probably, but i wanna hear you say it anyway.”

you lean away from him a little bit, releasing your arms from around him to rest against his chest. “i should've known this is why you wanted to come over,” you say, pretending to be mad, but you can already feel the tingling feeling building up in your stomach at the thought.

“it's not,” he replies smoothly, “but i did miss waking up to you knocking on my door.”

you pout. “that was only that one time!”

“doesn't mean it has to be the last.”

heat creeps up into your cheeks and you glance away from him, gaze trained on his shoulder.

“you really wanna know what i was thinking about?” you ask, finally building up the courage to look back up at his face.

“of course i do.” his eyes are sparkling as he watches you, and you can't exactly identify the emotion but you know it makes your heart flutter.

“well,” you start, “it was different every time, but most of the time it started like this.” you trail your hands down his torso, pausing when they reach his hips. he stays silent, eyes fixed on your movements and a little smile on his face that you don't think he even realizes he's doing.

“and then…” you look down, a little surprised to notice the bulge in his pants already there. you place your hand over him gently and look up, waiting for him to say something, but he doesn't stop you.

you clear your throat and start again. “and then, you'd sit on the couch and let me gag on your cock for a while.”

you start to push on his hips, backing him into your living room. he’s enjoying this way more than he should be, but then again, you basically just confessed your love to him so it’s kind of the best day of his life.

the back of his thighs hits the arm rest of your couch, but before you can move him any further his hands pull you flush against his body, his bulge pressing into your stomach.

“how about we skip that part for another day?” he says, his voice low. “tell me what happens after.”

you try your best to hold back a moan, suddenly losing your ability to speak. you can practically feel his cock throbbing through his clothes and it makes it impossible to come up with a coherent sentence.

“don’t get shy on me now, baby,” he hums, hands still firmly gripping your hips, and if your brain hadn’t short-circuited already then it definitely has now. “been hearing you in your room for weeks, i know how loud you like to be.”

“that’s not fair,” you finally manage, still trying to collect your thoughts.

joshua leans forward to kiss your neck, gently at first but quickly growing harsher, and you’re sure he can feel your pulse jump every time his teeth graze your skin.

“fuck, just like that,” you whimper, “exactly like that, shua—”

after a minute he hums and glances up at you through his lashes, clearly waiting for you to keep talking.

“we’d make out for a while, and then you—you’d fuck me on the floor,” you gasp out. joshua moans against your skin, and it’s only then that you realize your hands have found their way to his hair, tugging on it to urge him on.

your fingers loosen and he pulls away, the corners of his lips wet with saliva. “on the floor? you deserve better than that, baby,” he tsks. “can i take you to bed instead?”

“please,” you whine softly, suddenly feeling unbearably eager to fuck him. all week you’ve been using every last ounce of your energy to avoid thinking about joshua, but now that he’s here in front of you and way too willing to play into your fantasies, all the emotions you’ve been holding in are spilling out, and you don’t feel like containing them anymore.

you grab his hand and it’s like you can’t make it to your room fast enough, falling onto your bed and pulling him down on top of you. by then you’ve both forgotten the conversation you were having before because you’re too busy desperately pressing your lips against his, barely remembering to breathe as he kisses you and kisses you and kisses you and what were you even talking about again?

your brain is clouded when he finally pulls away with a gasp, kissing your cheek and your neck once more. his hands slip beneath your shirt and tug it over your head, making his way between your breasts and down your stomach and leaving more kisses as he goes. your skin burns with each touch, gentle lips and not-so-gentle hands covering every inch of you until you feel like your whole body is on fire.

he sits up just long enough to pull his own shirt off and now it’s your turn to touch, your hands instantly finding his chest as you trace your fingertips down his abs.

“how do you want me?” joshua groans, his hands joining yours at his hips to help him push his pants to the ground.

“fuck… missionary? just like this?” you say as you kick your pants and panties off in a rush, wrapping your legs around his waist.

his cock brushes against your stomach and you sigh out a moan, your hands moving up to grab at his biceps. he doesn’t say another word as he runs his tip through your folds, his attention fixated on your pussy and how you’re already dripping for him. for a second he forgets where he is and what he’s doing, so engrossed with the sight of you and how fucking glad he is that he didn’t lose you because you’re both idiots that assume too much about what the other wants instead of communicating your feelings like normal adults.

you let out a little noise and his eyes flick back up to your face, his gaze immediately softening at the blissful expression on your face. to think, he could’ve been seeing you like this the whole time if he had the balls to admit how he felt sooner. but there’s plenty of time for him to pout about it later because right now you need him, and he needs you, too, so why waste time thinking about that when he can think about how good you look taking his cock?

he leans down because he can’t resist kissing your beautiful face one more time, and finally he pushes into you, letting out a loud whine at the same time you moan his name. the sound of your voices joined together goes straight to his dick as he pulls almost all the way out, thrusting back into you with renewed energy.

“baby— fuck,” he groans, his grip on your body tightening as his thrusts begin to grow faster and rougher. “so good to me.”

you clench hard around him at the nickname, clinging onto him as you squeeze your eyes shut.

and then without warning everything hits you all at once, and you go boneless in his arms as he whimpers and groans and gasps and holds you tight and he probably told you he loves you about a million times as he was cumming too but you can’t hear anything as you lay exhausted on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with your ears ringing.

even with his shaking hands you can still feel the gentleness in joshua’s touch as you start to come back down, the warmth of his breath on your cheek as his fingers lightly brush your hair out of your face, feeling him twitch inside you before he slowly pulls out.

with his own orgasm following just barely after yours that was probably some kind of record for the fastest round ever, but you don’t even have the strength to care. so what if he usually fucks you for hours on end? all you care about is the fact that he’s tracing your collarbones with a fucked-out little smile on his face and it’s probably the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life.

with a soft grunt he stands up, and you call out his name with all the energy you have left.

“joshua?”

“mhm?”

“can you stay?” you ask, and somehow you both know you’re talking about more than just for the next few minutes.

he smiles. “wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.” and when he comes back with a towel and a wet wipe and apologizes for how fast it all was and promises to give you more whenever you want because he’s officially yours now, you know he’s telling the truth.

even when he’s doing nothing at all, joshua never fails to make your head spin.

laying in the dark with you, his fingers absentmindedly twirling your hair as you snuggle into his chest, you can’t even begin to find the words to explain how good it feels knowing he loves you and you love him back.

but it doesn’t seem like he needs words right now. all he needs is you.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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yoonlattesworld · 1 year

Text

Escapism-MYG

Synopsis: how naive were you to think you found the one when it was so obvious that he was making a fool of you. But you weren't gonna sit around and mope while he's having fun with your so called best friend. Good thing a certain someone was more than happy to help you out. And it made you wonder that if you had chosen him since the very beginning, would you have not gotten hurt?

Genre/ warnings: romance, angst, smut, raw sex, cheating, getting revenge on douche ex, misogyny,ex's enemy au, mob boss yoongi, making out, grinding, body worshipping, panty sniffing,oral(f receiving) vagina sniffing,love making.

Mob boss yoongi x reader

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Author's pov

A little context if you care to listen

I found myself in a shit position

"we need to talk"

All the excitement that you had about finally having a date with your loving boyfriend after weeks, drained the moment those words left his lips.

Although you did sense that something was wrong the moment he showed up at your house rather than the designated meeting spot which was the restaurant in which you had your first date. Still, you didn't let yourself think about negative thoughts as you gave him a nod with a small smile.

He didn't return the smile.

You followed him to your living room all ready and dressed up for the date night. A little part of you still thinking that you both would be going to the restaurant as planned after the talk.

How naive.

"what's up?" you hoped the nervousnsess didn't showed in your voice as you sat on the other end of the couch now suddenly aware of the huge distance between you both "jihyeok?-" "it was a mistake" now along with nervousnsess you were also feeling very confused as you looked at him with raised eyebrows. "what was a mistake?" your gut feeling told you that you wouldn't like the answer.

And it was right.

"look" he sighed rubbing his face with his hands with a tight jaw as you silently looked at him with a sick feeling bubbling inside you "can you please tell me what did you do?-" "i-i slept with Ina" for a second your face went blank. Truly because your brain hadn't registered his words because they didn't make any sense. Him, your boyfriend having sex with your best friend ina-

No words came out of your mouth as you slowly processed the situation. Your face still blank and lips still parted as you looked down at your hands folded on your lap.

Everything he said next came out blurry because the only thing which was running inside your brain was him, your boyfriend of 2 years cheating on you with your best friend of 10 years. The one you met when you were 14 and the one who stayed by your side with every step of life.

"I was drunk-" excuse "it was an accident-" excuse "she threw herself on me-" more excuses "you were always busy and she was just there-" god you were so tired of hearing his voice "and it was your fault too, if you weren't so busy-" "can you shut your mouth? I don't really want to hear your voice" his eyes widened in surprise when your blank ones met his. The audacity is so amusing.

You stood up, dusting off the imaginary dust off your dress before looking at him. He was still frozen with his mouth agape. You scoffed rolling your eyes as you looked away from him. God you can't believe it. How did you waste two years of your life with this piece of shit?

A part of you wanted to hear him. Just to see if he feels a little bit of regret for his actions. But another part of you tells you there is no use. He has already blamed you like it was your fault he had to cheat so what's the use of hearing his useless words?

"get out" if he looked surprised before then you don't know what he's feeling right now as he looked at you with his mouth ajar "w-what-" guess he expected you to act differently. You sighed rubbing your forehead at the forming headache. How in the world can someone be so stupid? Now that you think about it, the signs were so clear.

"jihyeok" he looked at you with what you recognised as hope. Stupid, so stupid. "get out of my house" you watched the hope shatter into small pieces just like your heart did. Instead, his jaw tightened and his eyes started showing anger as he stood up as well "what? You're just gonna throw 2 years away over a single mistake?" he has to be joking. Shaking your head you crossed your arms over your chest, tilting your chin up "do you really want to do this right now?" it was a small warning. But you forgot he was stupid enough to not understand.

He scoffed shoving his hands in his pockets as he stared at you smugly "don't pretend like I'm the only one at fault y/n. You're as much guilty as I am. It was just an accident and if you weren't always so busy then it wouldn't have happened-" "your dick went inside her by accident? I didn't know something like that can happen by accident, ji. What? Did you slipped or something?" his face redenned as he stuttered to find another excuse but you didn't let him continue.

"so you slept with my friend behind my back by accident because I was busy trying to make money to support your dreams. You shouldn't skip the important part baby" you stared at him with disappointment while your nails dug in your arms. No you won't show him your weakness. You won't cry. You can't cry.

He opened and closed his mouth like a gaping fish as he balled his fists "w-well-" "and I should add that every time I made time so we could spend it together, you were the one who called off every date last minute. Why? Because you would spend your free time playing games rather than being with me" you smirked when you realised he wasn't meeting your eyes. That's what you thought.

"now get out. And don't contact me again. Glad she was satisfied by your small friend" oops. That surely hit a sore spot.

The man that I love sat me down last night and he told me that it's over

Dumb decision

He looked at you with anger as he walked passed you, intentionally bumping into your shoulder as he made his way to the front door. But of course he just has to say something to repair his bruised ego.

"don't get so happy y/n. Just because you make more money doesn't mean you're superior to me. Remember, you were just a stress reliever. I lost feelings for you a long time ago. At least she understood me and wouldn't bitch around when it came to keeping the house clean" he smirked as you grew silent. Looks like he mistook your silence for hurt. "you can't even do most of the house work, of course a man would leave you for something better"

"jihyeok" "what?" the smug smile told you he expected you to apologise and crawl back. Poor him. "you're in no place to teach me how to be a woman. If you're such a man, why were you eating off your girlfriend's salary since the last year?" it was your turn to smile as you saw his face fall "and please don't call yourself a man. You're insulting the whole spieces" you winked as you raised your hand "also, just because she sucked your cock doesn't mean she'll support you. Good luck finding a job and paying the rent by yourself. And I also expect you to return me all the money I spent on your rent since the last year" you watched his eyes filling with fear and his hands shook as he stared at your hand which was holding up the middle finger "now get out"

~•~

The moment your door closed, your knees gave in. Your heart hurt. So much that you could physically feel it squeezing painfully as broken sobs spilled from your lips. You didn't let your tears fall when he was in front of you. No way in hell you would let him see you at your weakest. But now it was like a damn broke free as you struggled to breath. How can you be so stupid? You should have seen this coming a long time ago. All the lingering touches, the stolen glances, the time you found her in your apartment with him alone.

"we wanted to surprise you!" they both smiled brightly causing you to smile too.

But at that time you failed to notice that how did she knew that you were going home early that day. You smiled bitterly. They were just lucky that day.

You took a deep breath and wiped your face before standing up on shaky legs. You will not cry over him. No, you will never allow yourself to cry over the people who didn't deserve to be called humans. Ignoring your ringing phone you made your way to the kitchen and washed your face. The lighted screen told you who was calling

"ina💖"

You scoffed as you cut the call and blocked her number. You had no interest in listening to her excuses. You had a feeling they both were together right now.

A part of you wanted to cut them off from your life forever but another part of you wanted to hurt them just like they hurt you. It was worse that you knew just the best way to do that. It was even worse that you knew who would help you take your petty revenge.

Before you could stop yourself, your were already picking up your phone and dailing his number. Your hands shook as your thumb hovered over his name and his words rushed back to your mind.

"whatever you need, I'll do my best to make it happen. It won't matter how long I need to wait. Just say the word and it's done. I hope you'll give me another chance, doll"

Taking a deep breath you pressed the phone to your ear. Surprisingly, he picked up almost immediately and a warmth spread inside you when his deep voice hit your ears.

"I was waiting for you,doll" you looked down at your feet as you felt fresh tears filling your eyes and you hoped the small sniffle would go unnoticed by him. But of course it didn't. He noticed everything when it came to you. "you're crying?" you pictured him clenching his jaw as his voice took a dangerous tilt. One that used to scare you. You ignored his question as you took a shaky breath and whispered "does your offer still stand?" he was silent for a moment before breathing out "yes" you nodded even though he can't see it and sat on the chair of your dinning table "then will you let me use you?" you held your breath as you anticipated his answer and felt your body relaxing when he rasped "use me angel. Tell me what do I need to do"

"pretend you're in love with me" you whispered hearing a long exhale on the other side "don't need to pretend for that,doll" your heart started pounding as you looked down, again ignoring the flutter of your heart "pretend you're willing to die for me" "can't" your eyes widened ''why?" ''because I would die for you angel"

As your words died down in your throat, you wondered what would have happened if you had made different choices in the past.

"why can't you trust me?!" he panted as he gripped your shoulders. You looked up at him with pained eyes as you hoped he wouldn't notice your tears under the heavy rain. But of course he did. Breathing heavily he leaned his forehead against yours "what changed y/n?" a sob left your lips as you shaked your head, weakly pushing him "I'm still the same guy you fell for. And you're still the same girl I fell for" he whispered hoarsly as you gripped his suit jacket, pulling him closer until your lips were barely touching. You pressed your lips on his for a brief moment before another sob broke free from your throat as you whispered "I'm scared of you yoongi" that was the end of it. You saw him shatter in pieces and crumble in pain as you uttered those words.

If 3 years ago you had trusted him, forced yourself to trust him, then maybe your life would have been a lot different.

"what else doll" "don't kill him" "depends" his dry voice forced a small giggle out of you as you wiped your eyes but the smile soon died down when he asked "what did he do baby girl?" you almost didn't want to tell him because you knew he wouldn't be able to control his anger if he knew. But you have to tell him. "he cheated" the moment your small whisper reached his ears was the moment he saw red. His voice may seem calm but in his head, he was already thinking about the many ways he could torture the piece of shit. But of course you always knew how to calm him down "yoongi promise me you won't do anything" you heard him taking a deep breath before he grunted "what do you want me to do?" "can you find out where he is right now?" "that's easy. 'course I can"

Of course he can. Sometimes you forget who he is.

~•~

Now I don't wanna feel how my heart is ripping

Fact I don't wanna feel so I stick to sipping

And im out of the town with a simple mission

In my little black dress,And this shit is sittin

You met him outside the club as you both planned. Well he planned. He had sent a car for you because of course he wouldn't let you come alone when it as dark outside. He never took any risks when it came to you. And maybe you knew why. Maybe it was because you were the easiest way to threaten him.

You felt your breath catching in your throat when you saw him. Looking as handsome as he was 3 years ago. But maybe more mature. His hair longer and ridges rougher. You last saw him when he was 24 and you were 21. Now you're 24 and he is 27. "yoongi" you breathed as you stood in front of him. His eyes were soft as he took you in and your breath stuttered when you felt his hand gently holding your smaller one "hey doll" he mumbled softly as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. Just like he used to.

You heart hurt when you think about the time you spent away from him. Even if you were in a relationship with jihyeok, a small part of you still belonged to him just like how he always belonged to you.

He didn't said anything more but his eyes did. They held so many different emotions as he kept staring at you intensely. "let's go"

You nodded and held his arm softly as you both started walking inside the famous club. He found out that your ex and ex best friend were both in here together. It may seem petty to make your ex jealous and regret his actions. But after spending almost your whole life trying to be considerate of others, you wanted to be petty. And yoongi had no problem with that. He still thinks you're being considerate to that shit head by not letting him make that fucker regret in his ways but he'll support you no matter what you do.

All eyes were on you both the moment you stepped inside the club. You can't blame them. You knew you both looked great. In the two years you saw yoongi twice. Both were the once when he couldn't help it. When he missed you too much. And both of those times you saw him in his three piece suit. Right now he looked lethally gorgeous in a leather jacket, ripped Jeans and chunky boots while you wore a sleeveless black dress which came to your mid thighs. Hair loose and heels high. Even through his jacket, you could feel the bulge of his gun pressing against your hips. But it didn't make you nervous.

It didn't take long to catch them, making out at the bar without a care in the world. Like they haven't betrayed the one person who loved them both genuinely. You could feel tears filling your eyes at the sight but yoongi cupped your face and made you look at him "don't forget what you're here for doll" you nodded as he wiped the single tear that managed to escape before leaning down to whisper "just say the word and I'll make them regret their whole lives" you slapped his chest as he smirked "shut up we aren't here to kill anyone" "whatever you want, doll" he drawled letting you pull him towards the dance floor.

You smiled up at him as his hands found their place on your hips which you swayed to the music. The multiple lights shown on his face as he pulled you closer until your hands were on his chest. And you knew that you had their attention when you felt a burning gaze on your back. Yoongi leaned down until his lips grazed your ear for which he was gifted with pleasant shiver "they're looking at us doll" he mumbled burying his face in your sweet smelling neck while your arms wrapped around his neck as you both moved with the music.

A surprised gasp left your lips when you felt his lips pressing a wet kiss on the sensitive skin of your neck "y-yoongi'' your eyes fell shut as you felt him pressing soft kisses on the same spot before sucking it softly. He hummed gravelly as he pressed a hand on your lower back and pulled you flushed against him causing your soft breasts to press against his firm chest. It didn't help that you weren't wearing a bra. "need to make him realise what he lost" he murmured as he bite the same spot gently causing a small moan to slip from your lips. "mm..yoongi" you sighed, your hands gripping his shoulders as you felt something hard pressing against your lower stomach.

Small twing of pleasure erupted your whole body, settling a fire on it's wake as you felt yourself getting wetter by the second until your panties were sticking to your womanhood and soft pants were leaving your lips. "fuck you smell so good" he groaned as your fingers tugged his hair,your back arching and your head leaned to the side, giving him more access to your neck.By now you had completely forgotten about your ex boyfriend and best friend glaring daggers at you as you both swayed to the music, bodies feeling hot like fire as heavy breathing and pants mingled together.

"shit" he breathed heavily as his hand gripped your neck and he pulled you closer until your lips were inches away from his "tell me doll" he rasped, gripping your thigh and pulling your right leg up until it was wrapped around his waist. You gasped, holding his wrist as you felt his hardness pressing straight against your cunt "who are you thinking about?" he mumbled, grinding against you causing soft moans to spill from your lips "are you thinking about him right now?" his voice held a tilt of possessiveness and darkness as his hold around your throat tightened a bit. You whimpered shaking your head as he pressed against you harder "n-not him" he nodded leaning his forehead against yours "then who?" "y-you" the moment those words left your lips, his lips crashed against yours.

And it wasn't a sweet or gentle kiss. It was rough and hard, filled with possessiveness and yearning as your teeth clashed together and tongues danced for dominance. But of course he won. He kissed you hard. Hard enough for your lips to feel numb and your pussy to gush as soft moans of his name left your lips like a chant while low growls and groans left his lips like he couldn't get enough of you.

"missed you so fucking much" he panted as he pulled back slightly, both of your lips red and bruised and hot breath mingling together. You opened your eyes to see him already looking at you and if your heart was pounding before, then right now it threatened to spill out of your chest as you whispered "yoongi" he hummed as he looked over your head and you saw his eyes narrowed "w-what's wrong?" you asked turning to look behind you but yoongi held the back of your head and pulled you to his chest with a grunt causing you to look at him confused "nothing's wrong angel. Tell me what were you gonna say?" he murmured pressing a kiss on your forehead and because your face was buried in his chest, you didn't notice him still looking at something at a distance. "umm" you whispered gripping his jacket "take me to your home?" you dared to peek up as he went silent and the look in his eyes caused you to whimper softly.

He chuckled darkly as his hand squeezed your hip before he murmured lowly "you're playing a very dangerous game kitten. Don't think you'll get to leave once we step in my house" you gulped down the nerves as you bite your bottom lip softly before pressing a soft kiss on his lips "I don't wanna leave" you saw his eyes darken which made you excited and nervous.

It was like nothing else mattered when you were standing in the middle of a crowded bar and gazing in his eyes as he trapped you in. The way he looked at you, the way he touched you, the way he held you, it made you wonder just why did you waste 2 years of your life with that trash bag. The guy that you loved with all your heart, gave him your everything, and what did you get in return? Getting cheated on and also getting the blame. And the girl who was supposed to be your one true friend, the one who was with you for so many points of life. You were mad at yourself for spending 3 years apart from him.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when someone suddenly pushed past you, causing you to stumble further in his embrace as he wrapped a protective arm around you and glared at the drunken woman. "you okay?" he cupped your face with one hand and you nodded placing your hand on his "can we go?" your voice was small as you said those words and he didn't said anything but nodded and wrapped an arm around your shoulder before pushing past the ocean of bodies.

You noticed he was glancing behind by his shoulder every now and then and his grip around you suddenly tightened just as you both stepped out of the club "yoongi" you squeezed his hand which was on your shoulder and he only hummed as he glanced by his shoulder again "is everything okay?" you looked at him worriedly and his eyes softened. You both stopped in front of his car and he cupped your face softly "everything is fine, angel. Don't worry about anything and sit inside. I need to make a call and make sure you lock the car yeah?" he mumbled giving you the key. Although you had a feeling that something was wrong, you trusted him enough to not question him. So nodding you took the key and sat in the car, nodding when he signalled you to lock the doors.

You sighed, watching him as he took his phone out and made a call. A few seconds later you saw two men arriving and although you couldn't hear their conversation, you knew it was something serious because yoongi looked a little angry as he talked with the two men. They said something before walking away and yoongi rounded the car while you unlocked the door. His cologne filled your senses as he opened the door and sat in with a sigh. "who were they?" you asked softly as he took off his jacket and laid it on your lap which you Silently thanked him for because you were freezing. "they work for me" he answered simply as he started the car and you nodded before looking down at your hands folded on your lap.

Your attention was caught by him when he suddenly placed a hand on your thigh and after a moment of hesitation, you kept your hand on his. The ride was silent until you reached his house. You realised he had moved places. As he parked the car in the underground parking lot, he rasped "last chance doll" you looked at him nervously as he took a slow exhale before turning to look at you "I won't let you leave once to step inside my place y/n. I can't let you leave again. I don't think I can handle it again" his jaw was tight as he said those words and you realised just how badly you hurt him. Taking a shaky breath you unbuckled your seat belt and leaned forward, letting his jacket fall as you pressed your lips on his "make me stay yoongi. Please don't let me leave" you whispered against his lips and the familiar darkness returned in his eyes. The one that made your legs weak and pussy gush.

The elevator ride to his pent house was silent but you were in his arms the whole time. It was like he couldn't keep his hands off of you. But the moment you entered the penthouse, his lips were on yours and his hands were on your body. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he kissed you hard. His hands groping whatever skin they could reach as low moans and whimpers filled the air. Breathing heavily, he gripped your thighs and picked you up effortlessly causing you to grip his shoulders with Soft moans as your lips danced against each other. You didn't notice him walking towards his bedroom because you were so lost in his lips. Only when he laid you on his bed and his scent filled your senses did you realised that you were in his personal space. But you didn't have time you look around in his room because he was above you on his knees no yanking of his t shirt.

You felt your cheeks warming up as his milky white skin came in your view. But along with his abs your eyes caught something else too. There were multiple scars on his abdomen. It seemed like he noticed the sadness in your eyes because he tilted your chin up and pulled you in a deep kiss. One which took your breath away. It was deep and sensual. Passionate and full of longing. "I'm fine doll. A little knife can't kill me" you stifled a small giggle as he winked at you before your eyes widened when he suddenly pulled you up on his lap.

You took his hand as he kissed you again and guided it towards the thin strips of your dress and he let out a low growl as he slowly pulled the strips down until the dress was hanging around your waist. Slowly, he pulled back and his eyes wandered down "fuck"he whispered as he took you in "so fucking beautiful" you looked at him shyly as he laid you down again and tapped your hips. You raised them and he took off the dress completely,leaving you in a pair of thin black panties which were soaking wet.

"so perfect" he whispered as he came down until he was kissing around your breasts "a fucking goddess" he took your nipple in his mouth, sucking it softly which had you arching your back while your fingers tangled in his hair and small gasps left your lips "letting me worship you" his hand massaged your breast, making sure to give them the same attention "can die a happy man now" he chuckled darkly as you moaned his name softly. Trailing his kisses downwards he pressed multiple kisses around your waist before pressing a small kiss on your panty covered womanhood.

He looked at you as he hooked his finger around the thin material and once you nodded, he pulled the panties down your legs while biting his lip. You gasped when he raised the ruined material to his nose and took a long sniff before letting out a long groan causing you to cover your face in embarrassment "don't fucking hide from me" he grunted gripping your hips and pulling you down until his face was buried in between your legs, causing you to squeal In surprise.

But before he touched your weeping cunt, he looked at you with what you found as jealousy and possessiveness "has that shit head ever eaten you out?" he murmured lowly as he kissed your inner thighs, leaving small marks behind "n-no" you gasped shakily, your fingers flying towards his hair "no? " his eyebrows furrowed and you nervously whispered "h-he said it was gross-" another dark chuckle cut you off and you looked down to see his face leaned against your thigh as he looked at you cockily "can't believe I let you date a fucking kid but" he smirked "that means I'm the first man who tastes you" it was the only thing you heard before he dived in like a man dying from starvation and you were his last meal.

A loud moan left your lips as he wrapped his around your clit, sucking and teasing it until it was swollen and red. His hands gripped your ass and pulled you in so close that you were scared that he might suffocate but it seemed like he had no problem as he lapped your pussy like a lollipop. Your back arched and your head pressed against the pillows as his tongue entered your pussy. You could only moan his name helplessly as he took turns in fucking you with tongue and sucking your clitoris. He was quite literally making out with your clit as he inhaled your intimate scent with a deep groan which caused you to feel the vibrations against your womanhood. Your legs locked around his head which yet again made you worried that you might suffocate him but as you went to move away from him, he gripped your thighs with a growl and pulled you in "don't fucking do that again" He pleasured you like it was his only way to salvation. Like he was dying and you were his last meal. It all became so much that you exploded a second later with a loud and long moan of his name. If you weren't so high on pleasure you would have been embarrassed at how loud you sounded because you never thought you could make such a sound.

He mumbled praises of how good you were doing as he made sure to lick every single drop you gave him. He pulled back with a proud smirk, watching as you came down from your High and climbed up towards you, his cock brushing against your sensitive folds. You opened your eyes to find him already looking at you and a shy smile made it's way to your lips "how was that? " he grinned causing you to whine "great" "I'm sure it was" he chuckled kissing your forehead "but I'm not done with you sweet girl" your eyes widened as he hovered over you and. You didn't even noticed when he took of his pants but you felt your eyes widening and core gushing as you saw the size of his cock. It was long and thick, standing tall and proud with his mushroom tip an angry red and pre cum already forming. Soft moan left your lips when his cock grinded against your womanhood "tell me to stop yeah? " he whispered and you nodded holding his shoulders with a deep breath.

Soon a gasp left your lips when you felt the tip of his cock entering you and he stopped immediately "You good? " he brushed your hair away from your face and you nodded whispering "be gentle please" he kissed your nose "I will angel" slowly, you felt him entering you which caused you to whimper in slight pain. He peppered your face with soft kisses to distract as he tried his best to not slam inside you.

Once he was buried inside you, he stilled to give you some time to adjust "take deep breaths for me doll" he mumbled and you nodded taking shaky breaths. A soft sigh left your lips when you felt the pain disappearing and nodded. He pressed his lips on yours as he bottomed out before pushing back in causing both of to moan simultaneously "o-oh yoongi" your back arched as he moved with long and deep thrusts, hitting every part of your womanhood and soon, his cock brushed against that sweet spot causing you to moan loudly "right here? " he gritted thrusting back in at the same angle again and again causing your eyes to roll at the back of your head.

You gripped his hand with a soft whimper and he held it immediately beside your head. You cupped his face as he leaned his head against yours and you whispered "I missed you so much" his jaw clenched and his thrusts got harder and more powerful as he buried his face in your neck "you have no fucking idea how many times I almost knocked on your door. Almost called you dammit" you whimpered as you felt your high approaching rapidly once again and tears ran down your face as you sobbed "I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you" his eyes hardened at the sight of you crying and he crushed his lips on yours "it doesn't matter anymore. You're here with me. I don't need anything else" he never blamed you for leaving him. You both loved each 3 years ago but you had no idea who he was. To you he was the son of a wealthy business man. But the day you were going to confess, you saw him at His worst. You saw him killing someone. When you told him you were scared of him, he wanted to kill himself. He was mad at himself for falling for you. For allowing such feelings. But when you left him, he was willing to wait however long you wanted him too.

"fuck y/n" he breathed heavily as you pulled him in a soft kiss and you felt your high wash over you as he kissed you deeply, his own High washing over him. He rided you both out of your highs before falling on top of you and you wrapped your arms around him tightly as he buried his face in your sweaty chest.

After a few seconds of heavy breathing, you whispered "yoongi" he hummed snuggling deeper "you remember when I called you, you said you were waiting for me.. What did that mean?" you felt him smile against your skin as his hold around you tightened "it means that I've been waiting for you since 3 years, doll. Because I knew that one day, we'd meet again. So the wait was worth it" "and what if I hadn't called? " he hummed "then I would have waited and waited until you did" "why? " "because I'm so in love with you that waiting for you seemed easier than trying to forget you"

~•~

As you laid naked under the covers, yoongi stood by the bed with a towel wrapped around his waist as he listened to his right hand man talk "the guys belonged to Lee. They somehow came to know that you would be at the club. I've taken care of them but boss.. " yoongi hummed as he pulled the covers over your body properly "the same guys had been following y/n since a few weeks. They somehow caught our men following her and Lee found out that you've been secretly keeping an eye on her. They wanted to use her to-" "threaten me" yoongi chucked darkly as his movements stilled "fucking shit head" he snarled as he walked out of the room as to not wake you up "you know what you need to do namjoon. Bring him to me alive"

~•~

"what are you doing? " you flinched and turned around sheepishly as yoongi raised an eyebrow. He was shirtless in only some grey sweatpants as he folded his arms over his chest, looking at the mess all around the kitchen "w-well" you laughed nervously "i-i wanted to make you breakfast but I didn't realise I messed up your kitchen" yoongi nodded as he looked at the dinning table filled with breakfast and coffee "I'm so sorry I'll clean it up-" "you don't need to" you blinked as he pulled you to the table and made you sit on his lap "I pay people to clean my house. Surely they can do it. Now let me taste my girl's cooking" you looked at him surprised while he calmly ate his pancakes "you don't mind the mess i made? " "why would I? " he shrugged "the food is great" he kissed your head and fed you too.

"you can cook whenever you want. I love your cooking. Just be careful to not hurt yourself. You cook, I'll clean" you giggled kissing his nose "I think I kinda like you" he grinned tickling your waist "well thank god because I think I like you too"

Taglist

@bunnyrhe @rosquilleta @raineandskye @shymagda-7 @creatorspalace @yoonaasa @iheartsvt @xmochiloverx @kyojuro-ska @meow-min @kissme-ornot @wobblewobble822 @kookieaddicted96 @thelilbutifulthings

#yoongi x reader #yoongi x reader fluff #yoongi fluff #min yoongi smut #min yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader one shot #yoongi x reader smut #yoongi x reader angst #bts smut #bts one shot #escapism yoongi

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tubatwo · 10 months

Text

workaholic - kang taehyun

summary: doing soobin a favor leads to a night alone with your boss... who you just so happen to be crushing on

pairing: gn reader x kang taehyun

genre: fluff; 1.6k words

a/n: maybe in a dream world a boss would let you take all the hours you wanted LOL but let’s just pretend~

some would call you a workaholic, but you simply called it living. there was no such thing as “working too hard”. you liked having money, and you didn’t dislike your job. especially as long as you got to see a certain someone. a certain someone who may also play a teensy tiny part in the reason why you enjoy working so much.

maybe that certain someone was your boss.

who you definitely did not have a crush on.

nope…

the door to ‘kang cafe’ chimes as your coworker soobin walks in, halfway through the process of putting his apron on. “y/n! you’re here already?” he asks while opening a drawer that held all of the staff name tags and important keys.

“yup,” you nod, “i’m working day shifts this week since i’m a little ahead on schoolwork.” you had been working your ass off teaching yourself the material since your professors proved themselves to be absolutely useless. going to class in the mornings only wasted your time and frustrated you further, so you decided to switch up your schedule a little.

there’s a hint of disappointment and guilt in soobin’s eyes, his fingers still fumbling his name tag around, desperately trying to attach it to his apron. “I was gonna ask if you could cover my night shift tomorrow…” he whines slightly. “I can’t ask you to work a full day…”

“huh? you won’t be here?” you ask. soobin shakes his head before a shy, proud smile covers his face. “nope, I happen to have a very special date,” he responds before loudly groaning, “ah, this stupid thing!” you laugh at the sight of him still struggling to get his name tag on.

“here let me..” you reach over to help the clumsy boy while giving him a reassuring smile, “and don’t worry about coming in tomorrow, I was gonna take some extra hours anywa–”

your words are interrupted by the sound of the back room closing and footsteps approaching. you both look over to see your boss, taehyun, looking at the two of you with a startled face. the sight of you and soobin, close proximity, your hands laying on soobin’s chest. he quickly clears his throat before returning to his usual chill persona.

“okay one, sorry for interrupting whatever this is,”

“um, they were just fixing my na–”

“and two, y/n, what are you talking about?” he looks at you, a glint of confusion in his eyes as he completely ignores the boy next to you.

your hands finally release from soobin’s nametag as you turn to fully face your boss, trying your absolute hardest not to scan his entire body. what was someone so attractive and close to your age even doing owning a coffee shop like this? I mean, you know he’s slightly older. graduated too. but shouldn’t he be the manager at a best buy or something? better yet, working a modeling job?

stupid kang taehyun.

stupid kang taehyun and his stupid black tee that just so happens to be tightly clinging onto his–

“y/n?” taehyun snaps you out of your trance while soobin snickers to himself behind you, pretending to make himself busy with a random cup.

“huh?” you ask, completely dumbfounded and a little embarrassed.

“why do you need more hours? you’re already scheduled every day this week.”

oh right. “oh, um, well you guys know me…” you start, “always working...” the chime of the door sounds again as a trio of customers walk in. taehyun gives soobin a look, signaling him to handle the small crowd as he grabs your hand to take you to the backroom. you don’t even have time to digest what’s happening or the dizziness that’s suddenly consuming you because taehyun immediately continues his light scolding.

“y/n, I know i’m your boss but i’m not a shitty one,” he says with a sad look, “I know you still have classes, so you don’t have to worry too hard about the cafe, okay?”

“no, I promise it’s okay! I don’t mind helping you, really.” you explain, quickly shaking your head, “it could be busy too and I know the feeling of having to handle it alone…” taehyun sighs at you, his eyes filled with an emotion you can’t really point out. at least not until his next words:

“ah, you’re too sweet to me, what am I gonna do with you?”

your eyes widen, blinking quickly as you mentally remind yourself to scream into your pillow about this later. how do you even respond? why was he looking at you like that? maybe you’re overthinking. does he talk to soobin this way?!

“um… g-give me a promotion?” you joke, trying to distract yourself from whatever just happened.

…

“alright, get back to work.”

“are you absolutely positively sure you’re okay with taking my shift?” soobin asks for the hundredth time over the phone.

“yes, soobin, now please go get ready before I punch you for making your date wait.” after a few more minutes of bickering (and lots of complaining from soobin’s end), you end the call. you guess you could say the angels were on your side since it was extremely quiet tonight. since there weren’t many customers, taehyun had excused himself to run a few errands. he told you to call him if a large crowd ever showed up. but they didn’t. only a few customers here and there. you spent most of your time scrolling through tiktok and seeing if there was anything you could restock.

you start trying to remember if you restocked the toilet paper already before your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the door chime. you look up to see your boss, dressed in a different black tee, looser this time, and a pair of sweatpants.

great.

“taehyun? you’re back already?” you ask, trying your hardest to keep yourself composed.

“mhm, I finished my errands a while ago, just went home to get into some comfortable clothes if that’s okay with you.”

“oh, no it’s okay!” you shake your head, “never thought i’d uh– see my boss in sweatpants but here we are.” taehyun lets out a light chuckle before joining you behind the front counter. he pulls a fancy notebook out of the drawer and begins writing inside. whatever it is, it’s probably business owner things since it looks quite important.

“so, uh, do you know what was so important for soobin tonight?” he asks, eyes still locked on the paper.

“he’s on a date tonight~” you respond, slightly exaggerating your words in a teasing manner. taehyun’s hand freezes and his eyes immediately shoot up to look at you. “a date?” he questions. you nod, a bit confused at his reaction.

“but I thought you two…” he trails off while looking somewhere else. anywhere else but you.

your eyes widen in disbelief. soobin? you? and soobin? I mean sure, the guy is handsome, but he was like an annoying brother more than anything. “huh?! no– no, me and soobin are just friends!”

…

“ah, that’s a relief…”

you freeze. taehyun was a good-looking guy. you’ve witnessed customer after customer try to flirt with him multiple times but he usually didn’t go along with it. instead, he would give a blunt answer that would leave you snickering in the background.

but with you, things were different. it started with small compliments on your performance, then your personality, then maybe one or two about how you did your hair that day. then it turned into long glances from afar and warm smiles. and now, it’s these comments that he keeps making. comments that are making you feel like you’re one more word away from exploding.

taehyun was silent for a while, taking a moment to find the right words. “actually, i’ve been meaning to tell you something, and I hope you don't mind me being honest.” turning to give your full attention to him, you nod and wait for him to continue.

“over time, i’ve come to realize that I really really like you, y/n. not just as my employee, but as a person too. you bring so much joy to this place, I can't help but feel drawn to you."

his words leave you in shock, your mouth gaped and your hands sweaty. you can’t even come up with anything to say, but he wasn’t finished yet.

“and you work so hard. so hard to the point where it leaves me conflicted. because sometimes I wish you would just give yourself a break, but I also wake up every morning excited to see you again…”

“i’m sorry if this is crossing the line, and I understand whatever decision you decide to make after this. I appreciate the relationship we had, no matter what happens."

you smile warmly, taking a few steps closer to taehyun, making him flustered in the process. you reach out to grab his hands and rub them with your thumb. ”I really really like you too, tae, you have no idea.”

taehyun smiles widely at your confession and your nickname for him before hiding his face in your neck, letting out one of his famous cute noises. “oh? who knew my boss was such a softie?” you let out playfully. “don’t tell soobin.” he whispers, making you laugh. taehyun removes himself from your neck to cherish the sight of your smile, one of his hands reaching up to rest on your cheek.

“is this okay, darling?”

“more than okay.”

you both lean in to finally press your lips together. the kiss is soft and sweet, filled with the unspoken words you two had been sharing through glances and gestures. as the kiss becomes deeper, your arms wrap around his neck loosely and his arms wrap around your waist to pull you even closer. the two of you are so wrapped up in each other that you don’t even hear the familiar chime of the door.

“guess who just had the worst date eve– OH MY GOD”

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genshingorlsrevengeance · 5 months

Note

Just any genshin or aot girls of your choice watching 50 shades of gray with their s/o

I had this idea and was giggling at the thought of Lisa being like “gives me idea cutie…”😭

(Genshin impact) Lisa, Eula, Jean, Lumine, Yae, Ei, Yelan, Rosaria, and Ayaka, and Shenhe watching Fifty Shades of Grey with their S/O

I feel like I would be in danger considering the characters that are on this post.

NSF-W Implications below the cut!

(Lisa) "Oh my. This is an...interesting movie choice for us tonight, S/O."

S/O had shown Lisa many of these "movies". They ranged from comedic, serious, action-packed, name a genre, S/O would have it!

Though, she didn't predict "smut" to be on their movie library.

Part of her wonders if S/O was trying to tell her something by having this movie on tonight.

(Lisa) "You know, if you wanted to try something exciting in the bedroom, you could have just told me, dear.~"

Lisa teases as her fingers brush across their shoulder, giggling.

Lisa was highly amused by the movie, but can't help but wonder how anyone could've acted those scenes out with a straight face.

Well regardless, it definitely gave her some new ideas.

(Eula) "...What on earth did you put on, S/O?!"

Eula is blushing madly as the movie goes on, eventually just shaking her head and pausing the movie straight up.

She did not mind the selection S/O usually put on during movie nights, but this was too far!

Her heart couldn't take it Eula had far more class than whatever the hell this was!

(Eula) "I refuse to watch something so indecent! S/O, put on a different film at once, lest you incur my wrath!"

This time, she actually means it.

The fact they specifically chose this movie changes Eula's view on S/O on...certain topics.

She tries her best to keep the movie's scenes out of her mind lest she succumb to becoming a flustered mess.

Jean's face is blushing madly, her jaw slightly agape, and eyes wide open.

She could not peel her eyes off the screen, being completely speechless.

Jean does not look S/O in the eyes the entire duration, just remaining dead silent.

(Jean) "..."

It's only after the movie is done that she clears her throat.

(Jean) ahem "T-That...was an odd choice for a movie, tonight S/O."

She does not say a single thing about the movie other than that.

Jean's face is completely red, hoping that S/O wasn't going to say anything about it.

Barbatos help her, the movie is on her mind for at least then next week, even while at work.

Her flustered state gets worse when she envisions-

NOPE. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT.

(Jean) frustrated sigh

(Lumine) "...I think I would've liked an action movie better."

Lumine can't help but be a little flustered while watching the movie.

Especially with S/O sitting next to her as it goes on.

But it was made worse as Paimon was just sitting there, eating the popcorn.

(Paimon) "Uh...Paimon doesn't understand what's happening here. Why is she tied up?"

(Lumine) "Paimon, go get us some more popcorn. Now."

Paimon happily agrees to get more food as she shovels the remaining bucket into her mouth, leaving them alone.

Lumine crosses her arms and frowns at S/O.

(Lumine) "If you're trying to tell me something with this, I don't find it funny."

She would be taken more serious had her blush not completely overtaken her face.

(Yae) "Oh, they turned that book you lent me into a theatre production? How risque."

Yae is highly amused by watching the scenes she read acted out.

She also notices how many differences there were between the film and novels.

(Yae) "Hm. They do not pounce on each other nearly as much as they did in the text. I do not know if I am disappointed or relieved..."

Nitpicking aside, she enjoys the experience of watching the movie and comparing the book.

(Yae) "I wonder how this would do if I were to publish this in house. Would many people read it, or would it be forgotten?"

She shrugs and looks back at S/O, a dangerous glint in her eye.

(Yae) "Nevermind that. Is there a particular reason you wanted to show me this, little one? I doubt it was solely because you wanted to see my reaction."

She laughs upon seeing S/O's face, her hand covering her mouth.

Confusion, thy name is Ei.

There were so many questions she had throughout the movie, especially when it came to the spicier scenes.

(Ei) "Ana is getting tied up, is she about to be interroga-...Oh. They are naked. What exactly is happening to her?"

She just blinks in curiosity throughout the entire movie, her attitude barely shifting.

Ei feels like she has even more questions about what humans do in their off time than ever before.

(Ei) "Is this based off a true story? I do not feel like this is entirely healthy for humans to have. Unless we are the outlier?"

She doesn't really know what to think of the movie, honestly.

(Yelan) "Well, this is as subtle as Ningguang throwing the Jade Palace at whatever's inconveniencing her that day."

Honestly? Yelan finds the movie pretty entertaining.

Beats just doing nothing with her night.

But she can't help but wonder the implications of S/O choosing this movie of all things to watch.

Especially considering her Vision's powers.

Yelan had never really thought about using her strings that way before.

(Yelan) "I hope you're not planning on asking me to try everything we saw, S/O. I have more class than that. And I certainly hope you have higher standards than her."

Rosaria has a slight smirk the entire movie duration, not really commenting on anything aloud.

Not until the movie is finished that she speaks up.

(Rosaria) "I feel like I need a bath after watching that."

She leans back into the sofa, looking at S/O with an eyebrow raised.

(Rosaria) "Not that I hated watching it, but why exactly did you wanna show me this movie? I know you got your kinks, but I didn't think you were that freaky."

Rosaria chuckles as she simply moves to find another movie.

(Rosaria) "Not judging. Just surprised is all."

Ayaka didn't really know what to expect hearing the name.

But as the film progressed, her face scrunched up and cheeks heated faster than anything in her life had done.

The moment the first spicy scene hits, she's already sweating profusely as she turns to S/O, trying to ignore the sounds.

(Ayaka) "S-S/O! Could we change the movie?...Please?!"

She would literally watch anything other than this. Even the horror movies!

Ayaka was already embarrassed in the bedroom, there was no need to have it presented to her in such...such a degenerate form!

(Ayaka) "I would thank you if we were to not watch those kinds of movies S/O. Not that I am ungrateful for us spending time together but...But why that?!"

Shenhe's face barely moves the entire movie.

Her monotone voice simply speaks up during certain scenes like:

(Shenhe) "We do not do that when you are on top of me."

Or:

(Shenhe) "Is that how you're supposed to do it? What you do to me is very different."

Shenhe doesn't even blink at any of the more spicy scenes.

Shenhe unintentionally guts the eroticism out of the entire movie, watching it as if it was some kind of guide on how romance should be done.

Regardless, it's something Shenhe doesn't approve of, at all.

(Shenhe) "That did not look enjoyable. Thank you for treating me well, S/O. May we watch another movie?"

Shenhe puts on something that she can understand far better, and was far more enjoyable.

She doesn't even really think about Fifty Shades of Grey. For her, it was a movie, and that was about the extent of it.

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lizardaggro · 7 months

Text

on the flip side (twst bully!au) pt 3

here we are, the long-awaited (it was literally like 1 day) part 3!! i wanted to declare on one of the actual chapters since those get seen by the most people that I DID NOT MAKE THIS AU, credit i believe goes to @azulsluver. i swear i don't hate you guys, leaving everything on a cliffhanger, but the good news is i have a lot of time on my hands due to chronic illness so i can update super often. also i gave up on the purple theme on posts bc tumblr hates me and always leaves the end of the word count black.

part 1 part 2

genre: gn reader, angst trigger warnings: bullying, mild yandere (will be escalating throughout the series, but no non-con) word count: 1246

You couldn’t really afford to space out and think about it though, not when he was right in front of you. Riddle tapped his foot impatiently, clearly irate at your lack of response. “Well?” He asked. “Do you not even have anything to say in your defense?”

Oh dear. However were you supposed to get rid of him when he was so intent on getting some sort of answer out of you? You had no idea what he wanted! He was more difficult to threaten, too, since you’d made up your mind that you didn’t want to be like your tormentors and completely ruin others’ lives. No, your end goal was just to make them leave you alone. After everything you’d been through, you really didn’t want to see them again.

It might seem strange to some people, that you weren’t dead set on destroying any semblance of normalcy they once had. You had all the ammunition you needed, of course. The Overblot victims would be the easiest to topple, considering what they’d done in and leading up to that state. But you didn’t think you were a particularly vengeful person; at least, you didn’t want to be. Crowley had always said that you must’ve been sent here to get his precious students to work together, so clearly you weren’t like them.

“I never asked for this, Riddle. Any of this. So if you think somewhere in your fucked-up mentality that you’re doing me some sort of favor, you’re dead wrong,” you intoned. Indeed, even though you just wanted them gone, you missed the days when you were all friends. Back when you thought everyone had your back no matter what. Oh, if only you knew what they’d do for you. It wouldn’t be hard at all to push some of the more unstable students over the edge. Those who felt they didn’t have anyone else. Much like a certain dragon fae who never did seem to get invited to things.

Riddle looked like he was about to say something, but before he could, he was drenched by a great torrential rain. Where did that come from? Didn’t the forecast say it was supposed to be clear skies and sunny for the rest of the week? Your question was soon answered, as you had two more visitors.

“Silver? Sebek? What brings you here?” You inquired, not at all amused. When those two showed up at the same time, it could only mean one thing, and it wasn’t good. Riddle looked like he had caught on as well, since he stepped in front of you, as if that would do any good.

“LORD MALLEUS REQUESTS YOUR PRESENCE!!” Sebek boomed. You’d made progress on his volume in the past, so you were sure he did it just to annoy you. Silver just stared. He always stared, you felt like. Sometimes you swore you could feel his eyes on you even when he was nowhere to be found.

“Oh, gee, I wonder what that’s about,” you snarked. “Poor little princey-poo doesn’t want his embarrassing little secrets getting out? Well you can tell him to fuck off.” You must’ve been feeling especially brave, since normally you knew that defying Malleus Draconia was as good as a death sentence. He wasn’t even that bad, compared to some of the others. He just… locked you in his room and made you listen to him talk, with no room to get a word in edgewise. He’d go on and on about one thing or another for HOURS, with no regard for your schedule or your bodily needs. Clearly fae had a different sense of time than most.

It was the loss of control over your own life that you hated; that, and that if he really still considered you a friend, he never bothered to do anything about your bullies. You knew he was more than capable; you’d witnessed his strength firsthand on multiple occasions. You didn’t know what his endgame was, and frankly you were too scared to find out. He could trap you there forever and you wouldn’t be able to do a single thing about it.

Sebek was not amused. He raised an arm, likely to strike you, but Silver placed a hand on it, effectively stopping him. “Don’t. You wouldn’t want Lord Malleus to see a bruise on them,” he reasoned. You didn’t get it. Since when would he care? Sebek roughly shoved Riddle out of the way, despite all his objections, and nonchalantly slung you over his shoulder.

“What the hell?!” You screeched, pounding your fists on his back. “Put me down! I’m not going!” You weren’t sure why you were objecting so vehemently; this time wasn’t any different than the others. But something about the dark gray clouds pouring rain on what should’ve been a lovely day just told you that this was not going to be good.

But alas, your plight was ignored. The three of you made your way to Diasomnia in silence. No one bothered to stop and stare in the halls, as you being carried off by people was somewhat of a normal occurrence. You could swear Savannahclaw and Diasomnia even had some sort of twisted capture-the-flag game going, for whatever reason.

When you entered the gothic-style castle, you were greeted by none other than Lilia. Much like Malleus, he’d never bothered you too terribly, only engaging in less-than-welcome pranks. You knew he was far older than he let on, so you supposed he didn’t see the point in such childish endeavors. There was, however, one thing you feared about the man: his cooking, which he tried to shove down your throat at every opportunity. How Silver grew up healthy you’d never know.

And so, of course, you were greeted by a plate of… well, goop, to put it nicely. “Here, have a seat, dear, I made lasagna,” Lilia offered with what you assumed was supposed to be a warm smile. To you in that moment, with the fumes starting to reach your nose, it looked like a shit-eating grin.

“I’ll pass, thanks. That is to say, I’d rather die than eat that shit, because it looks and smells like it’ll send me straight to hell,” you deadpanned. Sebek let out an unholy screech and started ranting about how dare you refuse Lord Lilia, even though you knew he wouldn’t want to eat it either. You did your best to tune him out. Silver looked relieved, surprisingly enough. You supposed he was able to empathize since he grew up eating the stuff.

Luckily for you, Lilia just sighed and walked off, taking his culinary abomination with him. The three of you who remained shared a look. “How are you still alive after all these years?” You asked Silver. He shrugged. If even he didn’t know, you’d just call it a miracle.

“SILVER, QUIT FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY! LORD MALLEUS IS WAITING!” Sebek practically screamed in your ear. You really wished he would stop doing that. But you had more important things to worry about, like your impending death by dragon fae. Once you arrived at Malleus’s room, Sebek set you down and pushed you inside. You heard the lock click behind you. You gulped, feeling the pressure of being alone in a room with a presumably angry and very powerful mage. You looked up to see a pair of emerald eyes staring you down. Oh boy, this was not going to be fun.

taglist: @twistedcece @slxt4h1m @teawhere @pleasehugmeaether @reivelmin @aoiyx

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst bully!au #twst bully au #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts #sebek zigvolt #twisted wonderland silver #lilia vanrouge #malleus draconia

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astralis-ortus · 20 days

Text

weighted blankets and projector

✱ a bang chan headcanon

— as long as you're happy, then chan is happy too.

w.count → 0.6k genre → fluff. very soft fluff. warning → none! a.n → originally wanted this to be a single post with streetlights and warm nights, but the fluff would be out of control (and i got too delirious to actually continue writing lol) sooo here's the second part!

although chan loves adventures, he also doesn’t mind spending your date nights inside.

foods and games would be the most important factor chan takes into consideration. your pool of dinner choices might be a little more limited when you’re bound to a certain location, but that’s what his little games are for.

you’re feeling like having some fried chicken? of course he’ll get them for you, but make sure you win the rounds of truth or dare or you might not be able to get even a single bite of those golden goodness (who are you kidding—he’ll definitely cave once you put on your puppy eyes, just like how seungmin taught you). hot pot night? no worries, his uno cards will help you two determine whether your dinner of the night follows his mild tastebuds or your daring ones. chan will get your every dinner requests, and put a fun twist on them just to see your smile.

when all the food is gone, chan would then pull out the weighted blanket he bought and kept especially for your date nights, all under the pretense of ‘i heard it’s good for you’ (when in actuality, he just needed wanted a tiny extra help in keeping you glued to his side).

what you’ll be doing from then on is a free arena—there are days where you’d just talk for hours on end, laughing at whatever silly things each other would say. on other days, you’d spin a wheel and let fate choose which of your all time favorite movies will you be rewatching that night (which, oddly enough, mostly fell to either the deadpool series or a few ghibli movies). there are also days where both of you decided to just melt next to each other while doing your own thing—chan with his laptop, while you, on the other hand, finishes the book you’ve been dying to read all throughout the week.

just as you’re about to feel drowsy after all fully digesting your dinner, chan would then draw a warm bath for you to relax in, bath bombs and all. he’d always tell you to take your time when you’re having your bath; he needed the extra time to pick out your set of matching pajamas set (yes, he wears one too), as well as setting up the candles and the new galaxy light projector he just bought a couple days ago. you once told him it looked pretty, and being the good boyfriend and devoted astrophile he is, of course he remembered it.

if your bath was chan’s way of taking care of you, then you doing his skin and hair care routine is your way of taking care of chan. you always treasure every opportunities you have to be so up close with him, taking note of his features while he’s surrendered under your gentle touch. you’d note every single speck of his freckles, every stray curls on his forehead, every faint smile lines he had etched over the years on the surface of his skin, which only grew in definition after he met you.

and you fall in love again.

maybe a little bit harder,

maybe a lot deeper.

now all warm and cuddled up under the layer of comfy duvet, you finally snuggled close to chan, allowing his body heat to entirely encapsulate you. the echo of his heartbeat is loud and clear, turning you all blush and giggly while sleep gently knocks on your eyelids. chan would say a couple things—noting how nice your new shampoo smelled, or how soft the layer of pajama is over your skin, but when he noticed your absence of reply, his smile would soften as he watches your sleeping face. chan would place a kiss on your forehead and held you tighter, wishing that even in his dream, the only person he would see is you.

©️ astralisortus, 2024. | likes and reblogs are highly appreciated♡

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fooled-around-and-fell · 5 months

Text

Home Bound

Summary: You're finally "visiting" your parents after 5 years of not coming home, and you run into a certain someone you forgot is living next door.

Genre: fluff, also angsty

Pairing: neighbor!Joel Miller x female reader

Disclaimer: Joel is a contractor in his 40s, your dad is retired in his 60s, your age is not specified, but in my head it's about 27 up.

warnings: none

Masterlist

-----

5 years ago...

"You should get out there and chase your dreams."

"Yeah right," You snort. "Like I have them."

"Yes, you do," Joel says, "What about creating your own business? You always said you want one of your own."

You sigh. "I do, but I don't even know what business that will be. I'm just not an entrepreneur, I can't do it."

He frowns, caressing your hair. "So what are you gonna do? Stay here and mope around?"

"I'll figure it out eventually. And don't say that, that's mean."

He smiles and starts leaving kisses down your neck. "Sorry sweetheart. Let me make it up to you."

-----

"There she is!" Your dad welcomes you with open arms. "How is my little girl?"

You hug him back and chuckle, "Hi dad."

"Oh she's not so little anymore." Your mom swats your dad away and hugs you. "Have you eaten at all? You must be hungry from your flight."

"No, mom, I'm okay."

"Sorry we couldn't pick you up," Your dad helps you with your luggages, "Your mother here forgot she invited like 50 people for a random gathering so she's been working her ass off cooking all day- Wow, did you bring home your entire apartment or something?"

"50 people?" You take your luggages from him, ignoring his comment. "Why? Are we celebrating something?"

Your mom sighs and shakes her head. "Your father is overreacting. I just invited a few friends over because I can....and our neighbor, Joel."

"Our neighbor-"

"Knock knock," A familiar voice makes its way into your house with a bottle of wine, whiskey, and pie in his hands. "Thought I'd come in early to help you out with-"

"Joel."

You're a little glad he hasn't changed since you last saw him. His hair is still the same, he kept his scruff, and he still has that worn-out shirt you used to wear after he fucked you out of your mind.

He's staring back at you with the same look. Longing and wanting nothing more than to devour each other, but knowing it shouldn't happen. You feel betrayed by what he did, and he feels guilty for pushing you away.

"Joel! So nice of you to come and help out." Your dad pats his back. Joel has always been close to your dad, he likes to help out with fixing your dad's car, lifting anything heavy, anything really.

"Sorry," Joel says, "I didn't realize you were uh- you-"

"Nonsense, you're welcome at any time. You remember my daughter," your dad motions at you who's standing behind him. "Remember Joel, honey? He drove you to the college dance when I couldn't."

"Of course, I remember, dad." You smile. He also fucked me in the back of his car after that.

And if it wasn't clear before, your dad has no idea you used to have a thing with Joel. Your dad leaves for the kitchen with the things Joel brought over, and that leaves you with him by the door.

It was awkward.

You don't want to leave him just like that, because part of you does still long to hug him, kiss him, and just take him then and there, but you wonder if he still feels the same.

Isn't it kind of pathetic to still feel the same after three years? After he shut you out of his life and pushed you away the way he did? You're still incredibly hurt by it even though you know he thought he was doing what was best for you.

"I uh," Joel wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans. "I didn't know you were coming home."

You hum. What, were you going to avoid me if you knew? You bite back your rhetorical question when your mom calls for Joel from the kitchen. You take that as a chance to slip away into your bedroom and shower. A cold one is much needed.

-----

5 years ago...

"Why don't you apply to that job you've been talking about so much?"

You furrow your brows. "The one in New York?"

"Yeah, the high payin' job?"

"It's in New York."

"So?"

"So?" You repeat him and chuckle. "I can't go to New York."

"Why not? You'll get plenty of experience, you can live out your 20s, you know. Have fun and all that."

You frown. "If I'm reading this right, it sounds like you want me to go to New York. Or anywhere else for that matter."

"Look, sweetheart," He takes a deep breath. "I'm in my 40s, my life is good here. I've got a good job, it's what I want to do.. All I'm saying is, it took me some time to find my passion, so you should get out there and figure that out for yourself."

"Why are you so sure that my life is out there? What if it's here? In Austin? With you?"

"And what if it's not?" Joel's voice raised a little. "Sweetheart, I can't be the reason you're not living your best life. I don't ever want to hold you back like that."

You're trying to hold your tears back. "You're not, Joel. This is my choice, I want to stay in Austin-"

"You're going to New York." He says sternly with his eyes closed. "And whatever we have now ends here."

"Wait, what?"

He grabs his keys from the table, gets up, and leaves the cafe. That's about the last time you ever saw Joel because he kept avoiding you after that. And of course, you left for New York.

-----

You slip on your maroon dress, modest enough for a family (and now friends) dinner, and prepare yourself to go down and greet the guests.

Maybe you can fake being sick after the flight, but it's gonna be another problem because your parents are gonna give you shit about that. Plus, you do kind of want to see Joel.

You mainly want him to see you in the dress you're wearing.

As you're going down the stairs, you pause as you hear chatter and laughter from Joel. Wait, what if Joel's seeing someone? You hadn't taken that into consideration. What if he has a girlfriend, or even a wife and a baby? What if he's managed to build an entire family in the past 5 years and all you've been doing during that time is.. mope around, having meaningless relationships while thinking about him, and how much you miss but hate him at the same time?

Your shoulders slump. He probably doesn't feel the same. How can he feel the same? It's been 5 years, grow up and get a grip. You've just been delusional all this time.

Your mother spots you sitting on the staircase and smiles fondly. "Honey, you feeling alright?"

You hum. "Just... stress."

"Aw," she coos, sitting next to you and handing you her glass of wine. "I'm so proud of you, you know. Getting that big job in New York and going there all by yourself, must've been so scary. I would've been too scared and gone straight home."

You smile bitterly. That's another secret you haven't told anyone yet. You actually quit your job a few months ago and have been working and taking barista classes at the cafe by your old apartment. You brought a few suitcases for a week's worth of visit because you're.. not actually visiting. You haven't told your parents that you're moving back in to open a cafe with the cafe owner in New York.

"Oh what would I do to just keep you here for a little longer." She pinches your nose. "Come on, you should meet new friends we've made over the years."

Your mom pulls you into the kitchen and you can see Joel in your backyard, talking to your dad, and a couple other people, standing real close to a woman. Your grip on that wine glass tightens.

A few hours into the party, you're finally alone in the living room while the rest of the people are watching fireworks from the backyard. Sighing, you start pouring yourself another glass of wine.

Someone clears their throat behind you, and once you see it's Joel, you pour more wine into your glass.

"So, uh, how've you been?"

Miserable. "Great. You?"

"That's good to hear. Yeah, I'm.. I'm doin' okay. Gettin' old." He tries to crack a joke but straightens his face when he sees you're not smiling.

"How's the job in New York?"

"Let's not do this." You sigh. "Let's just.. not."

You stand up to leave through the front door, but he stops you before you can make it. "Wait, sweetheart-"

"Don't-" you turn to point at him but put your finger down. "You don't get to call me that."

Joel's eyes soften. "I know. 'M sorry. I just.. seeing you after all these years, it's good seeing you living your life out there."

You scoff. Deep down you know Joel was right 5 years ago. You know you had to go to New York to figure out who you are -- you still are trying to. You had to go out of your comfort zone and be adventurous because you wouldn't be here if that didn't happen.

That doesn't mean that you enjoyed the ride.

5 years of living in New York was lonely because you were alone. Tried to make friends but no one really stuck and you were always so busy with that big job that you barely had time to do anything else. Which is also why you quit and decided to open a cafe. It may not be as high-paying as the office job, but at least you enjoy it.

You know Joel's right, you just hate how easily he ended things with you and made you feel like you're not worth fighting for.

Walking out to the front where no one's around, you sit on the railing facing Joel, he's standing right in front of you, almost between your legs.

"I quit my job." You confess, looking down at your glass of wine.

You don't dare look at Joel. You can't face the disappointment in his eyes. "That big paying job sounds real nice from the outside, but I've been miserable since I left this place."

Joel doesn't say anything.

"I know, you're probably disappointed in me. You, my parents... you're all rooting for me to be successful there, but it's just not for me." You say. "I don't even know why I'm explaining all this to you."

"I'm sorry." He finally says. "I pushed you to go there. Thought I knew what was best for you."

You offered him half a smile, shrugging. "It had to happen. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have left Austin and wouldn't have learned what I know now."

Joel nods slowly. "Told your parents yet?"

You sigh. "Not yet. I'm not sure how to. They were so excited when I got that job... and now I'm moving back in as an adult. It's embarrassing."

"Lots of people move back in with their parents." Joel tries to lighten the mood. "Plus, you worked there for 5 years. That's a long time-- maybe too long, even."

"Yeah, but- whoa!" You almost fell while trying to adjust your sitting position on the railing. Joel catches you by holding your back, his arms now around you.

You can smell his cologne. He's been using the same brand for years, and sometimes you like to even go to the shop and smell it just to get a whiff of him.

"Careful." He whispers, eyes staring at you but it sounds like he's talking to himself.

Your hands rest on his chest and you can feel how fast his heart is beating. "I-" You stop yourself, unsure if you should confess your feelings. He hurt you once, and though he did it for your best interest, you're hesitant because who's not afraid of getting hurt?

"Joel, I-" You pause again.

He brings his hand to cup your face and kisses you, ignoring the thoughts screaming in his head that he doesn't deserve you.

You curl your fingers around his shirt, pulling him impossibly closer.

Eventually, you both have to pull away from each other, and it gets quiet again. You know Joel's not the type to talk about his feelings, but you're honestly too scared to talk about--

"I love you." He says before placing your head to rest on his chest so you don't look at him. "I was real stupid for pushing you away all those years ago. You were.. you are the best thing that's ever happened to me."

You try to look up at him but he only pushes you even further onto his chest. "I'm not done."

A chuckle escapes your lips.

"I love you, and I'm gonna be a selfish prick again and ask you," he takes a deep breath, "Do you want to get coffee sometime?"

You slowly nod against his chest and smile. "Just don't leave me in the middle of the cafe."

He chuckles and pinches you for that jab. "S'alright. We can have coffee at my place."

You punch him playfully.

"Joking, joking." He defends.

"Joel, let's take it slow this time." You say. "I don't want to be just a fling."

He lifts your head up and smiles at you. "Oh sweetheart. You were never a fling to me. Never have been, never will."

-------

a/n: kinda wanna write how reader and joel met now..

#joel miller x reader #joel miller tlou #tlou joel #joel x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller #joel tlou #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller fic #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x female reader

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ourdawnishotterthanourday · 9 months

Text

F*ck My Thighs [M] — Lee Seokmin

!! IT IS FINALLY HERE !!

✧ In honor of Lee Seokmin's king god general emperor majesty pretty beautiful gorgeous precious elegant luxury world high top class THIGHS ✧

Ever since you started working at XTREMEGEAR, you’ve been hopelessly obsessed with Lee Seokmin...god damn Lee Seokmin and his fucking divine thighs. You didn’t think you’d ever stand a chance with him. But when your company forces you to go to a sports and wellness retreat with the whole HR department, you discover that you haven’t been as discreet about your little crush as you thought you were.

✧ Genre: workplace au; SMUT [18+], fluff, slight angst (if you squint??) ♥ Pairing: female!reader x co-worker!Lee Seokmin ✧ Word count: 17.2K+ (oops...?) ✦ Warnings: reader has an unhealthy obsession with dk's thighs and arms (honestly same), swearing, mentions of alcohol, drinking games, intoxication, some jealousy, small mention of reader comparing herself to another female co-worker, dk being a tease — pls let me know if I missed any :) ✎ Notes: 1) nsfw warnings below the cut! 2) small project where? lol 3) those arm pics were like a literal gift from god, so of course i HAD to add a little arm kink into the fic as well....ARGH!!! it's going to be the death of me someday.... 4) i also added the itinerary at the end of the fic in case you're curious OR check it out here ♕ Shout out: special thanks to @forsythe-lll and @fugaciousserendipity for your valuable input ♡!

♡ REBLOGGING AND/OR FEEDBACK WOULD BE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED — DON'T BE A STRANGER PLS ♡

nsfw warnings: outdoor/public sex, thigh worship, thigh riding, fingering, slight degradation, pussy eating, squirting, unprotected sex, creampie (pls let me know if I missed any!)

“You’re drooling again,” Soonyoung’s voice sounded in your ears, startling you in your desk chair.

Reluctantly, you ripped your eyes away from the purple-haired man that you’d been observing and turned your attention to your brown-haired co-worker.

“I am not,” you grumbled, feeling a little embarrassed that you’d been caught. But then again, it wasn’t the first time that Soonyoung had caught you doing exactly that.

Your co-worker could only smirk at your poor rebuttal. “Right. Then tell me why there’s drool in the corner of your mouth.”

You gasped, your hands quickly moving up to wipe at the corners of your mouth. “What? Where?” Only there was no drool. Ugh, why did you even fall for that...again? “You’re so annoying, you know that?” you sighed, shooting Soonyoung an irritated look.

“Whatever. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t get any work done.”

A desperate sigh left your lips at the truth of his statement. “I know...but he looks so good today. And I think he’s been working out more frequently, because his thighs look even more delectable than usual,” you said, once again shifting your gaze to the man you’d been crushing on for as long as you can remember.

Soonyoung wrinkled his nose at your tmi and cleared his throat rather loudly, pulling your attention back to him. “You need to get laid. Soon. Or I’m afraid you might start creaming yourself on the spot and end up getting fired.”

“Shut up, it’s not that bad,” you scowled, giving his shoulder a playful push.

“Really?” Soonyoung threw a pointed look your way. “Do you want the boss to catch you slacking again?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m still traumatized,” you groaned, burying your head into your hands as your mind flashed back to that embarrassing moment.

It was only a few months ago when your boss had scolded you for missing a deadline in front of the entire department. What he didn’t know was that you missed it because you’d been too busy ogling and obsessing over your sexy co-worker all week.

“Well, you better get it together then. If you don’t want our other colleagues to think that you’re a sex-crazed weirdo obsessed with a certain co-worker’s thighs, you might wanna rethink your strategy before Friday.” Soonyoung frowned at your puzzled look. “You didn’t forget about the retreat, right?”

Fuck. The company retreat. You actually had momentarily forgotten about that little thing.

Three whole days in the forest with your smoking hot co-worker and no way to get yourself off in private when he did something to turn you on – this was definitely an issue, considering that nearly everything the man did was arousing to you.

In other words, you were doomed. Fucking doomed.

When you first started at XTREMEGEAR, you’d been super motivated to start your first real full-time job. All those years of studying had finally paid off and landed you this job on the project implementation team of the HR department.

You met Soonyoung on your first day and the two of you had immediately clicked. Just like you, he’d been a newbie, so you got to lean on each other a lot during the initial trainee period – because working in corporate was no joke.

Now two years later, you were practically inseparable – both at work and outside of it. You were grateful to have someone like Soonyoung by your side and you truly considered him to be one of your best friends, if not your best friend. Most of your colleagues and other friends naturally assumed you were dating, but you were both always quick to burst their bubbles. You loved Soonyoung, you really did, but dating him was out of the question.

Being this close to him meant that you’d heard and seen enough things over the past two years that you came to the conclusion that you’d be better off as friends. Besides, you had your eyes set on someone else, a certain co-worker that made your work life so much more enjoyable, but also so much harder.

Lee Seokmin.

The first time you saw him was about four days into your traineeship. He’d been on leave for a few days, but during his absence, you’d already heard enough about him to make you wonder what kind of person he was.

According to your seniors, he was considered one of the department’s best assets. Despite the fact that he’d only started working at XTREMEGEAR a year prior to your arrival, he’d left such a good impression on the higher ups that he got promoted to project leader after only seven months on the job.

Initially, it had confused you that literally no one had a bad word to say about him – even the ones that were his seniors. But everything made sense as soon as Seokmin walked into the meeting room that morning.

He was a natural. The way he carried himself, the way he talked, the way he treated his co-workers, everything about him just screamed employee of the month in the most positive sense.

And that was only half of it. In your eyes, the man was a literal god, carved out just like one of those ancient Greek sculptures from back in the day – every detail carefully thought out and nothing out of place, just perfect.

His gorgeous smile alone had the ability to light up the darkest room, and in combination with those radiant eyes of his, you didn’t understand how anyone could ever be upset in his presence.

When he blessed you with that bright smile for the first time, you thought you were about to die on the spot from the way your heart had started to pound inside your chest. He’d been so sweet and flirty even, throwing you the occasional wink while explaining the ins and out of the project team and leaning over your shoulder as he showed you how to use the computer, all of it slowly driving you insane and making you think that you actually stood a chance with him.

But as the days passed, you saw him do it to another female co-worker, and another, which made you realize that that was just his personality. Seokmin was a natural flirt and he was completely oblivious to the impact of his actions.

It didn’t really help that he always looked like a sexy CEO from one of those K-drama’s, especially when he was in his element – the sleeves of his white dress shirt rolled up, providing you with a perfect view of the veins running all over his muscular arms. You may or may not have fantasized about tracing them with your fingers (and *cough* tongue) on multiple occasions.

And then his thighs. God...his thighs. They were no doubt your favorite part about him. Although most people wouldn’t necessarily describe Seokmin as a big guy, it was very obvious that he worked out – the man did not skip a single leg day.

Before coming to XTREMEGEAR, you never would have thought a pair of thighs could have this hold on you, but there was just something about Seokmin’s thighs that made you go absolutely feral. It was at the point now where the mere sight of his tight black dress pants clinging onto his beautiful toned upper legs was enough to have you dripping in your seat.

Soonyoung always liked to tease you about that one time you literally drooled onto your desk because you’d been so fixated on the man’s luscious thighs. At that time, Seokmin had sat himself down onto another colleague’s desk to have a chat about god knows what. And although the action in itself hadn’t been provocative at all, with the way his thighs had appeared even thicker and more fuckable than ever in that position, your thoughts started to drift to a not-so-innocent place – apparently you’d gotten so lost in your little fantasy world that you forgot to swallow your own saliva, much to Soonyoung’s amusement.

It surprised you again and again that one man could make you so horny for him all the damn time. You couldn’t even remember a day where you hadn’t left the office with a pair of soaked panties. And it was all because your mind constantly kept drifting to the man’s thighs and how good they would feel between your legs.

You’d honestly lost count of the number of scenarios you’d come up with that involved him ruining you in the filthiest possible ways. At the top was definitely the one where he’d drag you into the supply closet and force you to ride his godly thighs until they were drenched in your juices – and you nothing but a moaning mess for him to use however he pleased.

Was it wrong to fantasize about a co-worker like this? Hell yes. Did that stop you from doing so? Fuck no. Lee Seokmin was like a drug, your personal drug...and you needed your daily fix of him to stop yourself from going insane.

Despite some moments of weakness, you were usually pretty good at refraining yourself from completely succumbing to your desire when you were at the office. However, there had been that one time – definitely your lowest moment according to Soonyoung – where you had to excuse yourself to the bathroom just so you could make yourself cum.

The sight of Seokmin’s sweaty form exiting the company gym in a pair of shorts that did nothing to hide his delicious thighs had been too much for you so early in the morning. That, in combination with the killer smile he’d thrown your way while he wiped the sweat from his forehead, had pushed you to your fucking limit.

Just your luck, one of your female co-workers had entered the bathroom while you were mid-orgasm, two of your fingers deep inside your sopping cunt and your mind filled with thoughts of Seokmin wrecking you on his thighs.

It had taken everything in you not to moan out loud as your body shivered in delight, your walls tightly gripping onto your greedy digits and your legs nearly giving out at the overwhelming waves of pleasure – all while your co-worker was doing her business in the stall right beside yours.

Of course, Soonyoung had immediately caught on when you finally returned to your desk after that suspiciously long ‘bathroom break’. The way he’d smirked at you told you that you were never going to live this down. But you’d already accepted that the moment you gave into your urges.

Your best friend knew you like the back of his hand, so trying to hide anything from him was useless. He always managed to find out one way or another.

The way he was so in your business was annoying at times, but you also knew that without Soonyoung, you’d have been fired a long time ago. He kept you on your toes, reminded you about important deadlines and pulled you back to reality when you were trapped in one of your fantasies again.

You liked your job, you really did. But whenever Seokmin was around, which was basically every day, you seemed to forget everything else that mattered. It was like you were stuck in this never-ending cycle and it was only a matter of time before you would make a fool out of yourself.

Like on this damn company retreat.

Currently, you were stuck on a bus with about twenty of your colleagues, including Seokmin, who was sitting only a few seats away from you and Soonyoung.

It felt like you were back in high school all over again, but this time with a bunch of grown ass adults. The sounds coming from the colleagues sitting in the back of the relatively small bus strongly reminded you of the rowdy ‘cool’ kids who always annoyed the shit out of you, whereas the front of the bus was significantly quieter, with the occasional raising of voices or laughter interrupting the peaceful atmosphere.

You didn’t really understand why the higher-ups thought that it was a good idea to send the HR team to a sports and wellness retreat. The wellness part sounded good, but sports?

Yes, you were well aware that your company offered boot camps and developed outdoor gym and fitness equipment, but you’d chosen the HR department for a reason – it didn’t involve exercise.

Still, here you were, forced to participate in various activities that would end up with you drenched in sweat and looking less than classy.

That wasn’t even the worst, though. No. Lee fucking Seokmin would be there to see you looking like a damn mess and there was nothing you could do about it.

And then you hadn’t even thought about how you were going to deal with Seokmin in his workout clothes. If what you’d seen him wear at the company gym was anything to go by, then Soonyoung would probably have to arrange your funeral by the end of the trip.

Normally, you tended to avoid Seokmin when you felt yourself start to spiral a little too far down into your sexual fantasies - you didn’t need another ‘bathroom’ incident. And though it proved to be challenging at times when he was literally your team’s project leader, working at such a large company as XTREMEGEAR did have its advantages: the building was huge and there were many places for you to ‘hide’ without seeming too suspicious.

But this trip was going to make all of that practically impossible. The whole theme revolved around team building and doing everything together, so you couldn’t exactly skip out just because you couldn’t handle being around your hot co-worker. Plus, the last thing you needed was another reason for your boss to hate you.

And then those goddamn sleeping arrangements. When you first heard that you’d be sharing a big room with the rest of your female colleagues, you wanted to scream on the spot. You’d expected some form of sharing, but everyone together in a single room sounded like absolute hell.

Yejun, one of the seniors who’d helped organize the trip, had said that it would be “a great opportunity to bond with each other”, but all you could think about while she was talking was the fact that you wouldn’t have any privacy for three days and no way to cum without the risk of anyone catching you.

You honestly couldn’t give a shit about improving your lifestyle or some stupid team building activities, especially when you knew that at the end of this trip, all you’d be left with was stress, increased blood pressure and lots of frustration...sexual frustration to be precise.

Was it too late to fake an illness?

“What’s up with that face? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were constipated,” Soonyoung’s voice snapped you out of your thought bubble.

Laughter erupted from the front of the bus, drawing your attention away from your best friend before you could retort. Seokmin was joking around with one of your male co-workers, a big smile plastered onto his handsome face.

He’d exchanged his usual office attire with a casual one – an azure blue hoodie and some light gray sweats. Thank god for those sweats, because you didn’t think you could have handled those muscular thighs being on display when you hadn’t even arrived at your destination yet.

It wasn’t fair. He was the sole reason you were currently in the middle of an existential crisis whereas he was having the time of his life, totally oblivious to the effect he had on you.

“Soonyoung, I can’t do this,” you whined softly, shifting your gaze back to him.

“Yes, you can. Remember the breathing exercises? Just do this. In...and out...in...and out,” Soonyoung responded, followed by a demonstration of the video he’d found online and sent to you a day ago.

“Shut up! This is not a fucking joke,” you hissed as you flicked the side of his head.

“Ow!” he exclaimed rather loudly, gaining the attention of several of your co-workers sitting in your vicinity. Fortunately, they were used to your bickering and antics, so they were quick to return to their own conversations. “You know, for someone who wants to keep things on the down-low, you sure know how to attract a crowd,” your best friend grumbled as he rubbed his now sore temple.

“Then you might want to cut the crap and help me.”

“Didn't I tell you to come up with a game plan before today?”

“Yes? But nothing is going to prepare me for this...him,” you sighed, leaning into Soonyoung so that you could sneak another peek at the reason for your suffering.

The pair of black-rimmed glasses resting on his nose was something new, only making him that much more mouthwatering – and okay, you wished that he hadn’t decided to make this fashion move at a time when you needed to keep your thirst under control, but you weren’t complaining.

“We could always go back to the breathing exercises,” Soonyoung responded, causing you to lean back into your seat.

“That video was meant for pregnant women and I’m not pregnant,” you emphasized, wondering if he’d gone crazy – well, crazier than he already was.

The man beside you wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “You might be by the end of this trip.”

“You ar- No.” You shook your head while turning your body towards the window. “I’m not talking to you anymore.”

“Oh come on, Y/N,” he begged, pulling at your arm, but you refused to budge. “Okay, here. How about this? Any time you feel like it gets too much or want me to rescue you, just throw me a subtle wink.”

You looked at him as if he’d grown two heads.

“Really? You know I can’t wink for shit, so how do you expect me to do that subtly?”

“Right. I forgot you kinda look like a psycho when you try to wink,” he chuckled, after which he tried to imitate your awful wink.

“Not. Helping,” you huffed, poking his stomach repeatedly, knowing full well that he was extremely ticklish there.

“Okay, okay,” he giggled and grabbed a hold of your hand to halt your tickle attack. “How about you tap your nose instead?” he suggested, using his free hand to demonstrate it to you.

With a nod, you leaned back in your seat, already feeling slightly more at ease now that there was some type of escape set in place. “I can do that.”

“Great. Now, I’ll help you get through these three days, so just relax and don’t worry. I won’t leave your side for even a second.”

“You promise?”

“Promise.”

As soon as you’d gotten off the bus, the sight that greeted you was a huge modern log cabin – if you could even call it that – with many large glass windows decorating its walls, making it easy for the light to penetrate the spacious inside. Surrounding the cabin was a vast verdant forest, the vibrant colors of the trees and other greenery emanating a sense of peace and calmness that you hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

At first glance, you noted that it was much smaller than you’d expected from a retreat, but to be honest, you hadn’t really known what to expect from a sports and wellness retreat that was located in the forest.

The inside of the cabin was rather intimate and had a homey feeling to it – there was a huge and bright entrance hall that led into the living room, with a cozy fireplace that spread a pleasant warmth throughout the entire cabin.

After dropping off your luggage in your designated rooms and taking some time to freshen up – you were still salty about having to share with eight female colleagues, but whatever – the owner, Kim Minji, had been kind enough to give you a tour of the entire retreat.

You’d learned that there was a small indoor gym with some equipment and a separate space for group activities such as yoga, an indoor pool and a jacuzzi, both of which had you imagining what a half-naked Seokmin would look like – mouthwatering, no doubt. Aside from that, located right next to the forest, was a large open field that could be used for outdoor sports and lastly, there were three small outdoor sauna cabins, each a different type for you to try out.

Despite being skeptical and anxious about this whole trip, at least you were glad to know that your co-workers had managed to find a place that would allow you to properly enjoy yourselves during the scheduled free time.

But you knew you shouldn’t have trusted a word coming out of Kwon Soonyoung’s mouth.

Because how the hell did you end up on kitchen duty with no one other than Lee Seokmin while your best friend, the one who said he wouldn’t leave your side, was nowhere to be found?

Except for your near-breakdown on the bus, everything about the trip had been going great until this exact moment.

As promised, Soonyoung had stuck by your side the whole time, making sure to keep you at a safe distance from Seokmin and grabbing your attention when he noticed your eyes lingering a little too long on the purple-haired man.

Even during the free time, it had been fairly easy to avoid the man. You and Soonyoung had done a little exploring around the cabin, deciding to leave the pool and the sauna for another time – the fact that Soonyoung had overheard Seokmin wanting to check out the pool with a bunch of your colleagues had definitely played a role in that.

But then Seojoon, the other senior that had helped organize this whole thing, had gathered you in the living room for the next item on the itinerary. Dread had taken over your body when he announced that several of you would be assigned to tonight’s dinner shift.

Why had no one informed you about this?

Apparently, Yejun had, but back then you’d been stressing about the sleeping arrangements, so everything had gone in one ear and out the other.

And of course, luck wasn’t on your side, which was why you were currently standing in the kitchen with five of your co-workers, one of them being Lee Seokmin.

Okay, so technically, Soonyoung hadn’t broken his promise to you, but that didn’t matter right now. You were freaking the fuck out.

“Hey, Y/N! Wanna help me with the pizza dough?” Fuck. Why was he talking to you?

“Me? I-I’m not sure if I’m the right person for that though. I probably should uh,” you looked around as you felt yourself starting to panic even more, looking for any excuse to say no, “help Yejun and Seojoon prep the toppings. There’s a lot left.” You pointed to the large bag of vegetables that still needed to be cut.

Your senior quickly shook her head after hearing your words.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. We got this. Hyunwoo and Mina are working on the sauce, so you can help Seokmin. That way we’re even pairs,” Yejun smiled.

“Sure.” You forced a smile in return, but at the same time, you were mentally cursing her for putting you in this stressful situation. If only she had any idea about the inner turmoil you were experiencing right now.

Reluctantly, you slowly made your way over to Seokmin, who was now watching you with an amused smile.

When you finally dared to take a good look at him, regret washed over you almost immediately. He looked so fucking good with his hair slightly messy and still a little wet, presumably from the shower he’d taken. The glasses he’d worn in the bus were now gone, just like his azure blue hoodie, which had been replaced by a beige oversized zip up hoodie that looked just as amazing on him.

All in all, he looked like a snack...and you wanted to eat him.

“Don’t be afraid. I don’t bite,” he teased, gently nudging your side after you’d come to a stop beside him. “Only if you want me to,” he mumbled, leaning in a little closer so that only you would be able to hear.

“What?” you squeaked, your eyes widening at the implication behind his words. Your whole body tensed up, completely frozen as you attempted to process what what you’d just heard – you felt ashamed to admit it, but his words had gone straight down to your pussy, your panties already feeling slightly sticky from the arousal that had seeped out.

Seokmin, who was totally unaware of what he’d just done, simply laughed at your expression and reached over to grab a big bowl. “Just kidding. Come on, loosen up a little. We’re not at work, so we’re allowed to have some fun.”

Your cheeks started to heat up in response. “Yeah,” you muttered, embarrassed that you’d already managed to make a fool out of yourself only a few hours into the trip. God, he probably thought you were super lame.

“Then let’s make some pizza dough,” Seokmin clapped his hands excitedly before offering the kitchen scale to you.

After taking a deep breath, you felt a little more confident and reached out to take it from him. “Sounds good,” you responded, trying to ignore the way your pussy was throbbing with need for the man.

Just calm down, Y/N. He’s completely covered, no bare thighs, no bare arms. What could go wrong?

And surprisingly, it was actually fine for a while. With your nerves and horny thoughts pushed aside for the time being, the both of you worked together to create several batches of dough while joking around with the other four co-workers that were doing their own little tasks.

The point where it all changed was when Seokmin started to roll out that damn pizza dough.

“Aish, I should have thought of this before,” he muttered, pulling your attention from the recipe that you’d looked up on your phone. “Could you maybe help me take it off?” He was looking at you expectantly now.

“T-Take off what?” you stuttered, feeling the nerves settle back into your body. This was so not going in the right direction.

“My hoodie, it’s getting dirty. And my hands are kinda preoccupied, but yours are still clean,” he answered, showing his dough-covered hands.

Fucking hell. “O-Okay,” you stammered, your hands shaking as you moved in closer. He probably thought that you weren’t moving fast enough, because suddenly he was right in front of you, only inches separating the two of you.

From this position, the faint scent of his perfume invaded your nostrils. He smelled so refreshing, slightly citrusy but with a little hint of honeylike sweetness, the combination of which instantly made you feel like you were floating on cloud nine. It was probably the closest you’d ever been to him and you understood why. Thinking straight was nearly impossible.

“Y/N?” Seokmin’s smooth voice pulled you back to reality.

“Yeah, sorry,” you cleared your throat softly, refusing to meet his eyes. If you did, you’d no doubt give yourself away. So instead, you moved your eyes to the zipper that was holding the whole thing together.

With slightly clammy and shaky hands, you grabbed a hold of the zipper, slowly tugging it down as it suddenly dawned on you that you were practically unwrapping your hot co-worker like a present – the thought had you unconsciously clench your thighs together, your pussy already throbbing again.

Seokmin chuckled, interrupting your train of dirty thoughts. “It’s not gonna break, you know?”

“Right,” you hummed, your trembling fingers tugging at it a little harder until you’d reached the end, revealing the white shirt he was wearing beneath it.

“Now could you…?” he asked, making a shrugging motion to indicate that he wanted the whole thing off.

You could only nod, still refusing to meet his eyes. The sooner you’d get this done, the sooner you’d be able to go back to the dough and forget about the pool of slick that was now starting to form in your panties.

Forcing yourself to push the hoodie off his shoulders, you struggled to hold back a whimper at the view that greeted you. He was wearing a goddamn sleeveless t-shirt and there was no way to go around those deliciously toned arms that you’d dreamed about so many times. The skin of his arms was so smooth and slightly tanned, which made it all the much harder to take your eyes off them – he was really living up to his god-like status.

It was absolute torture trying not to trace your fingers over those prominent veins when you were this close, but you tried to control yourself...you had to. The last thing you wanted was for Seokmin to think that you were some perv that couldn’t keep her hands to herself.

Your heart was pounding against your chest by the time you’d managed to take the whole thing off, the man in front of you leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination with his arms on full display.

“Thanks, Y/N. Much better,” he sighed, rolling his broad shoulders before resuming his work on the dough he’d been rolling out.

“No problem,” you croaked, quickly turning back to your own workspace before you could do anything else to embarrass yourself.

For the next ten minutes or so, the urge to watch Seokmin rolling out the pizza dough was big, so big that you kept on having to repeat the words don’t look over and over in your mind in an attempt to keep your nasty thoughts about the man beside you at bay. But that also meant that you were extremely distracted and very behind on your own pizza dough.

“Are you two hurrying up with that dough or what?” Mina suddenly called from the other side of the kitchen.

“We’re on it! But perfection takes time though,” Seokmin responded, pulling a few laughs out of your other co-workers.

“It better be or we’ll never live it down. The others are already complaining about being hungry,” Hyunwoo snickered from next to Mina.

“Don’t worry. It’ll be the best pizza they’ve ever had. Right, Y/N?” Seokmin asked from beside you.

“Uh, yeah,” you mumbled, a frown forming onto your face as you struggled to form the perfect pizza circle. Whereas Seokmin was a natural at this, you were a disaster. This was exactly the reason why you preferred to order pizza instead of making it from scratch.

“God dammit,” you cursed as you messed up once again. With the dough being too sticky, it immediately fell apart as soon as you tried to transfer it onto one of the metal pizza pans.

“Here, let me show you an easy trick.” Your breath hitched in your throat when Seokmin suddenly appeared right next to you, his bare arm pressed against your own as he grabbed the piece of dough that you’d been working with.

Anything that came out of his mouth after that was lost on you. All you could focus on was the way his arm felt against your own, flexing every time he used the muscles in his hand to knead the dough into a ball before rolling it into a perfect circle with the rolling pin.

You couldn’t help yourself. The need to admire him was bigger than the voice in your head that tried to convince you that ogling your co-worker with a room full of witnesses was a bad idea. That’s why, after making sure that your other colleagues were preoccupied, you dared to sneak a peek at Seokmin.

Your eyes took in everything they could, greedily trailing over his form and coming to a stop at his arms, which had become even more veiny due to the constant force he was using to roll out the dough. You were practically salivating at this point, completely lost in your own world as your attention was drawn to the most prominent vein on the arm closest to you – it started at his wrist and went all the way up his forearm, until it disappeared back into his golden skin.

If you would have moved your hand just slightly, you’d have been able to touch-

“Think you can do it yourself now?” Seokmin asked, completely catching you off guard with his sudden question.

Your eyes shot up to his, his dark brown orbs bright and sparkling as he waited for your response. Had he caught you checking him out? At least if he did, he didn’t really let it show.

Nodding your head quickly, you stammered out a “Y-Yes, thank you.”

He just hummed, a grin tugging at the corner of his lips as he made his way back to his spot, leaving you with your pile of dough and no recollection of what he’d just explained to you.

God dammit, you should have paid attention.

“I’m telling you, Soonyoung. I never want to do that again. It was torture being this close to him and having to act like a normal person who doesn’t want to jump his bones!”

While nearly everyone was setting up for the last activity of the day – the drinks – you’d informed Soonyoung about everything that had happened during your kitchen duty.

“But the question is, did you cream yourself?”

“Soonyoung…” you warned, threatening to flick his head again by raising your fingers up to his temple.

“What? Just checking!” he retorted, holding his hands up in defense. “But hey look, you survived with only a few embarrassing moments, so I call that a win.”

“I guess, but ugh,” you groaned, burying your face into your hands. “He must think I’m so lame. You should have seen me. I made a fucking fool out of myself.”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes at your statement. “Don’t be so dramatic. It probably wasn’t even that bad. Now get off your butt and let’s have some fun. It’s not everyday we get to enjoy free drinks like this!”

“You’re right,” you sighed, letting him pull you off the lawn chair you’d been sitting in. “Just don’t drink too much, because I know how you get and I need you tonight.”

The man slung an arm around your shoulder, a wide grin on his face as the both of you made your way back into the cabin. “I’ll try, but there are free drinks so no promises.”

“Oh boy,” you sighed, not having a very good feeling about this.

And of course, your feelings had been very valid.

After only one shot of tequila and two beers, Soonyoung had transformed into an emotional drunken mess, making him pretty much useless to you.

Your best friend was known for not being able to hold his liquor, so why did you expect it to be any different tonight? So much for him being your knight in shining armor.

Between being forced to take care of a drunk Soonyoung and having to watch Seokmin flirt with your female co-workers, your night was officially ruined.

From where you were sitting on the couch, you had a perfect view of Seokmin, who was being a little too friendly with Mina in your opinion. You hated how close he was standing to her, and how he kept shooting her that million-dollar smile every time she said something funny. And you definitely hated the way Mina was eating it all up, being all giggly and playing with her hair while seemingly moving closer and closer as the evening progressed – you could have sworn that you even saw her feel up his arm at some point.

Jealousy. That’s what you felt as you watched your two co-workers interact with each other. You knew that you had no right to feel like that, because Seokmin wasn’t yours to begin with. Still, you couldn’t help but wish that it was you in Mina’s spot, wanting to be the one on the receiving end of that gorgeous smile and those flirtatious eyes that made you want to throw yourself at him every single time.

Of course he’d never go for you, because what were you thinking? Mina was gorgeous and you were average at best, at least that’s how you would describe yourself. According to Soonyoung, however, you were “too hot for your own good and anyone would be lucky to have you”. But he was your best friend, so of course he would say that. Seokmin was out of your league and that was the cold hard truth.

In an attempt to get rid of the bitter taste in your mouth, you’d resorted to alcohol since that was the only thing available. You did several shots with Hyunwoo and Seojoon, followed by a couple of beers, opting to distract yourself by talking to them while simultaneously keeping an eye on Soonyoung, who was sprawled out on the couch for most of it.

Seokmin was still talking to Mina and two other female colleagues who must have joined at some point, but you found yourself slowly starting to care less and less as the familiar buzz of the shots and beers you had consumed settled in.

“Y/N, ’m thirsty. Gimme beer,” Soonyoung slurred from beside you, his hand awkwardly landing on your chest as he tried to get your attention.

“Ow, watch it!” you exclaimed, pushing his hand off your sore chest. “And I’m not giving you any more alcohol. Water is all you’re going to get.”

That pulled a little whine from your best friend, his lips forming into a pout. “Want beer,” he sniffed, now on the verge of crying.

Your eyes rolled in response. “Just stay put, drama queen. I’ll be right back with your water. Please keep an eye on him for me,” you told Hyunwoo, who offered you a thumbs up and a goofy grin as you scooted off the couch.

It was only when you stood up that you felt the effects of the alcohol really set in. Your head felt heavy and the room was slightly spinning as you tried to steady yourself. Those shots and beers had definitely done a number on your balance.

With some effort, you managed to get to the kitchen, but just as you were about to open the door, it bust wide open, followed by two male co-workers storming out with a bunch of beers in their arms, screaming about god knows what.

Because you hadn’t expected them to show up out of nowhere, you stumbled back in surprise, the action causing you to lose your balance.

Out of instinct, you reached for the nearest thing behind you, bracing yourself for the impact that surprisingly never came – a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist from behind, preventing you from falling flat on your ass.

“Careful there. Wouldn’t want to hurt yourself on the first day, hmm?” Seokmin’s voice sounded in your left ear, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine. Wait, Seokmin? Hadn’t he just been standing on the other side of the room?

“Shit, sorry! I’m so clumsy,” you groaned, realizing that you had actually grabbed onto him in your panic – his. fucking. thigh.

Were you actually dreaming right now? Though the fabric of his sweats was separating your hand from his beefy thigh, it was enough to get you riled up, especially with the alcohol that was currently flowing through your system. It was so tempting to just...squeeze. And you almost did, but then Seokmin spoke up.

“You good, Y/N?”

You blinked a few times before quickly ripping away your hand. “Huh? Yeah, fine. Thanks,” you muttered, heat creeping up your cheeks once again when you realized his arms were still around your waist.

“You sure?” he asked as he gently pushed you back onto your feet before removing his arms.

“Yep! Gotta go take care of Soonyoung now, though. Thanks!”

And then you were gone, leaving him standing there as you made a beeline for the kitchen. Any longer in his presence and you would have combusted on the spot.

One thing was for sure, you concluded as you stuck your head in the fridge to cool yourself down. The feeling of his muscular thigh in your hand was going to haunt you for the rest of your life.

Team building games. What a fucking waste of time. A super-sized memory game? A game of tug-of-war? A three-legged race? It all sounded like a fucking nightmare.

Who the hell wanted to see a bunch of adults run around like that? You’d much rather try out one of the saunas or do some more exploring around the cabin with Soonyoung.

But it seemed like you were one of the few who wasn’t totally excited about the prospect of having to participate in a bunch of games for three long hours – well, apart from Soonyoung, who looked and felt like he’d been hit by a truck. That’s what he got for abandoning you...again.

This morning had been rough, both for Soonyoung and you. Whereas Soonyoung was suffering from a severe case of hangover, you had to deal with the aftermath of your little encounter with Seokmin.

You’d barely gotten any sleep, your mind going over every single thing that had happened that day, in particular your near fall. The way his strong arms had wrapped around your waist had you wanting to kick your legs in the air. He’d been so close to you, even closer than in the kitchen, and it had felt amazing to have him all pressed up against you. Not to mention those damn thighs. Now that you’d had a taste of what they’d felt like, you only wanted more. You were seriously contemplating faking another fall, just to recreate that scene.

At least today, luck seemed to be a little more on your side. You were fortuitous enough to not be paired up with Seokmin for any of the team building activities, but that didn’t mean that you were in the clear...not at all.

The sweats he’d worn yesterday had been replaced with a pair of black nylon shorts that hugged his tan legs in all the right places – in other words, it was going to be a long afternoon.

“Y/N, stop drooling,” Soonyoung warned, snapping his fingers in front of your face.

Seokmin and his other two team members were currently having a tug-of-war match with three of your other male co-workers. If you thought watching Seokmin flex his thighs during the three-legged race was torture, then this was on a whole different level you didn’t even know existed.

“I’m trying, but look at him. I don’t know where to fucking look. The arms, the thighs or the fucking sweat dripping down his neck,” you stated before running your tongue over your bottom lip.

“Maybe don’t focus on him at all? Just a little tip?” your best friend suggested, waving his hand in front of your face.

Annoyed, you grabbed his hand, pulling it down since it was obstructing your view. “He’s like a magnet pulling me in. I can’t look away,” you said, just as Seokmin and the other two males started to cheer at having won the round.

“Fucking hell,” Soonyoung groaned as you suddenly started to squeeze the living shit out of his hand. “Are you trying to get my hand amputated or what?” he grumbled, trying to pry your fingers off.

“He’s really trying to kill me. Yah, you better start planning my funeral after today,” you whimpered, shifting uncomfortably in your seat, feeling your panties stick to your already slick folds.

The man in question was in the middle of wiping the sweat off his forehead. With a towel you ask? No. He’d lifted up his fucking shirt to wipe it away, giving you the perfect view of what he’d been hiding beneath that piece of fabric. And boy was he packing some mouthwatering abs that made you want to ride him into the next day. Your panties were absolutely soaked.

“You may have to plan mine if you keep squeezing. like. that,” Soonyoung huffed, finally managing to rip his hand free from your deadly grip.

“Would it be too obvious if I snuck away to...you know?” Honestly, another ‘bathroom incident’ didn’t sound so bad right now.

“First of all, gross. Second of all, you’re not leaving me alone with these fanatics.”

“Excuse me? Who are you to make demands like that? Where were you when I needed you yesterday?” you gawked, not believing the words that were coming out of his mouth.

“I know and I apologized for that, multiple times. What do you want me to do? Beg on my knees?”

“Well, if you insist,” you smirked.

“In your dreams,” he shook his head, your smirk disappearing right away. “Anyway, that’s not the point. Just control your damn self for a bit and look away,” Soonyoung scolded, snapping his fingers in front of your face again when your eyes had found their way back to Seokmin.

You threw your head back in frustration “Fine, fine. I’ll try.”

The memory game was luckily uneventful, mainly because it didn’t involve any running or rolling around on the grass. But despite there being no obvious physical component, it didn’t mean that your team was doing much better.

With Soonyoung on your team, winning was completely out of the question. Whereas you and Yejun were pretty good at finding pictures that matched, your best friend kept forgetting where everything was and messed up your score, causing your team to end up in last place when the time ran out. Not that you cared, but your senior was definitely not happy with the man.

Although the memory game offered a little distraction, the whole image of Seokmin’s thighs and abs during the first two games kept flashing through your mind. The whole thing had you worked the fuck up and it was getting harder and harder to ignore the burning desire building up in your abdomen.

Soonyoung had suggested for you to go on a run to clear your mind, which you’d shut down almost immediately. The prospect of more exercise after a day full of activities sounded awful.

But then you overheard your colleagues talking about changing into their swimwear, which led you to think about the scenario of running into a half-naked Seokmin. That quickly got you to reconsider Soonyoung’s suggestion, because you really needed to blow off some steam in a way that wouldn’t have you end up with your fingers in your pussy in a shared bathroom.

So, a run it was.

And apparently, you weren’t the only one thinking of doing exactly that.

“Y/N, wait up!” Not now.

You froze on the spot, your hands stilling mid-air seeing as you’d been about to plug your earbuds in.

“Seokmin?” you asked, watching as he jogged up to you, clad in a pair of shorts and another one of his sleeveless shirts that looked so good that it made you want to punch air.

“Mind if I join you?” Your heart skipped a beat at his question. He wanted to join you?

“On my run?”

“Yes,” he chuckled. “That is what you’re about to do, right?”

Slowly, you nodded your head. “Right.”

“Unless you’d rather go alone...”

You shook your head. “No! Uh- I mean, it’s fine,” you answered quickly, mentally cursing yourself for sounding so eager.

“Great. Let’s go then!” he smiled, jogging ahead before looking back when you still hadn’t moved. “You coming or what?”

“Coming!” you called, groaning internally at the thought of spending the next hour or so with the man you’d been thirsting after for so long.

So much for trying to free your thoughts from Lee Seokmin.

The two of you ran for quite some time, only speaking to each other when necessary – like when you needed to change directions. And it was actually sort of…pleasant?

With Seokmin running right behind you, the whole thing became a lot easier since you weren’t tempted to look at his face. Instead, you allowed yourself to admire the beautiful green scenery around you. The trees seemed to blur as you zoomed past them, twigs and leaves crunching beneath your feet with every step and sweet bird sounds echoing through the dense forest.

Of course, this perfect peaceful moment could only last for so long. The two of you were forced to take a water break when your legs got sore and your throat started to feel dry.

Seokmin was currently retying his shoelaces as you leaned against a big tree, trying to look at anything but him...his arms...his thighs. Spiraling into one of your delusions was not a good idea right now.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” His sudden statement startled you, your body immediately tensing up.

“No, I haven’t,” you countered, automatically shifting your gaze to the leaf-covered forest ground.

“You’re really not as discreet as you think you are, you know?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you shrugged, your eyes never straying from the floor beneath you as you tried to maintain your composure.

Seokmin chuckled in response, his voice echoing through the empty forest.

“Do I make you nervous, Y/N?” Yes.

“No,” you answered at the same time that you felt him move in closer.

“Then why is it that you can never seem to look me in the eyes...even now?”

Embarrassment flooded through your body. “That’s not- I don’t only do that with you.” You shook your head.

“You’re a bad liar, you know that? Just admit that I make you nervous,” he murmured, his sneaker-covered feet now coming into view, indicating that he was close...too close.

“You don’t.”

“No? Then why are you shaking?” he questioned, finally caging you in between the large tree and himself. The close proximity had you suck in a breath. The scent of his perfume mixed with the slight smell of sweat sent your mind into a frenzy.

“B-Because it’s cold,” you sputtered, immediately regretting the words as soon as they’d left your mouth. Even you knew how stupid that sounded, especially when you’d just run for almost 2km.

“Look at me, Y/N.” His demanding tone sent another wave of chills through your body.

“Seokmin, please,” you begged, not knowing how much more you could handle before he’d make you crumble. Again, where was Soonyoung when you needed him?

“Please what? All I’m asking is for you to look at me.”

“It’s too much,” you whimpered softly.

Your words were followed by a breathy laugh from the man in front of you. “Because I make you nervous?”

Finally giving in, you raised your head to meet his eyes, his pupils much darker than you remembered. “Yes. Happy now?”

“Wasn’t that hard, right?” he questioned.

“You seem to think you know everything already,” you huffed, trying to seem strong even though you were freaking out on the inside. He hadn’t moved from his position, so you were still trapped in between his arms.

“Because you make it too easy for me. You really think I haven’t noticed you ogling me all this time?” he smirked before continuing. “This trip was the perfect opportunity to confirm my theory.”

“Your what?” you gasped, feeling your soul leave your body. Was he trying to tell you that he’d been trying to test you? “So, yesterday...and today?”

Seokmin watched with an amused smile as you processed his words. “Like I said, you aren’t as discreet as you’d like to believe. You and me ending up together for kitchen duty was not a coincidence. I needed to see you respond to me with my own eyes.”

Kitchen duty...letting you take off his hoodie, those little comments and touches, and then on the field today...had all of it been on purpose? No way. He sure had you fooled with his acting.

Feeling flustered by his sudden ambush, you quickly shook your head. “It’s not what you think. I jus-”

You were cut off by his hand on your cheek, his thumb pressing against your bottom lip and his body pressing you even further into the tree.

“So, what you’re trying to tell me,” he started before his voice dropped an octave at his next words, “is that you don’t make yourself cum to the thought of me?” You pussy clenched in response. “And don’t lie to me, Y/N. I bet your pretty pussy is dripping right now.” His large hands dropped to your waist as he nudged your legs apart with his feet. “Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll stop.”

You were speechless, incapable of forming a single syllable. He was right and you knew that he knew that he was right, but the thought of admitting it out loud made you anxious.

“Nothing?” At the same time, Seokmin raised his right leg between your legs.

“Shit!” you moaned, throwing your head back against the large oak tree at the feeling of his thigh pressing right into your folds, with only the fabric of your black biker shorts and panties separating you from him. The squelching sounds that followed his action told Seokmin exactly what he needed to know.

“Tsk, look at that mess,” he taunted after he’d removed his leg, forcing you to look down at the wet spot that had formed on his dark blue shorts.

“Seokmin,” you whined, your cheeks now hotter than they’d ever felt before.

“How about we do something about that, hmm?” he suggested, putting his fingers underneath your chin to tilt your head. His eyes had darkened significantly – he looked at you as if he was about two seconds away from devouring you whole.

“Please,” you breathed, your voice dripping with desperation for the man despite the embarrassment you felt. The universe had decided that you deserved a chance with Lee Seokmin and you were not about to pass up the opportunity.

His lips were on yours as soon as you’d finished speaking, the taste of him sweet with a hint of saltiness from the sweat that had dripped down his face during the run. You were quick to match his pace, wrapping your arms around his neck to accept his eager tongue inside your mouth.

He was relentless as he devoured you, with his thigh back between your legs and his fingers wiggling underneath your tight sports top. Every single one of his touches sent little bolts of electricity through your body, lighting up a path of fire with the way his fingers danced skillfully across the bare skin of your waist.

You clutched onto his upper arms in an attempt to ground yourself when his fingers suddenly dug deep into your waist. The slight pain that resulted from his roughness pulled a small groan from you that was swallowed by the tongue-filled kiss you were engrossed in. That stinging sensation instantly faded into the background when he started to grind you down onto his flexed thigh, replacing it with a burning desire for more as your clit throbbed from the delicious friction.

“Such a juicy pussy, fucking hell,” Seokmin grunted, giving you some time to recover from his assault on your lips, switching his attention momentarily to help you speed up the movement of your hips. “You like getting off on my thigh that much?”

“Yes yes yes!” you mewled. “So much – don’t stop!” Your mind was an absolute mess as your pussy gushed with slick at every roll of your hips, each drag adding more arousal to Seokmin’s already soaked shorts.

Should anyone have run the same trail, they would have no doubt spotted the two of you doing less than holy things. But you could have cared less. It was just as hot as you’d imagined it and you’d be damned if you let a thought like that stop you.

“Who would have thought you were such a fucking pathetic little slut for my thighs? Look at you,” he sneered, pulling at the back of your head to make you look at him.

“Fuck fuck fuck!” you moaned, your eyes rolling to the back of your head at the feral look in his eyes. You’d imagined him wrecking and calling you the most filthiest names, but to actually hear him say that was like a dream come true. “G-Gon- cum,” you whimpered, digging your nails into the flesh of his sun-kissed arms to brace yourself.

A string of guttural moans left your lips as you finally exploded, bliss taking over your body like an uncontrollable wave that left you with no other choice but to succumb to it. Seokmin was there to catch you, holding you up between himself and the oak tree as he helped you come down from your high, mumbling a bunch of filth into your ear that caused your legs to tremble in excitement.

For a second after that, as your high started to die down, you were overcome with a sense of fear. You were afraid that when you opened your eyes, Seokmin would come back to reality and end this thing right then and there, afraid that you would never get a chance like this again.

But the hand that slowly wiggled into your shorts and panties completely obliterated those pessimistic thoughts, pulling you right back into that feeling of ecstasy as his fingers grazed your sensitive nub – the sound you let out at the action echoed through the trees around you.

“God, you feel even better like this, dripping all over my hand like a filthy whore,” Seokmin growled, teasingly dipping two of his fingers into your heat. You bucked your hips in response, your walls greedily clenching but finding nothing to satiate the ache in your pussy.

“Please...need it,” you whined, desperate for another release.

“What do you need, hmm?” he mused before his lips lightly trailed a path of open mouth kisses down your sweaty neck.

“Your fingers!” you gasped, your nails digging back into his arms as his fingertips circled around your entrance.

“Look at me,” he demanded again, his tone huskier and much more sensual this time. You complied, immediately getting trapped into those dark brown eyes that momentarily made you forget about where you were.

The corners of his lips curled into a smirk when he finally penetrated you with his long digits, allowing him to watch you fall apart from just that simple act. Your mind turned to complete mush when he started to pummel into your sopping cave with a vigor that you didn’t know existed. The obscene sounds it produced would have flustered you if it wasn’t for the fact that you were currently being fingered into the next day by your smoking hot co-worker.

And it wasn’t long before your lips found each other again, your tongues entangled in a passionate dance as Seokmin’s free hand roughly groped your breast over the sports bra you wore underneath your shirt. One of your hands had tangled into his hair while your other was gripping onto the arm that was worshiping your needy cunt – the feeling of those popping veins on his forearm caused you to clench around him just a little harder with your second orgasm approaching fast.

What the-

Your eyes fluttered open at the feeling of what felt like a water drop landing onto your forehead. Seokmin hadn’t seemed to notice as he continued battering his fingers against your gummy walls. Choosing to ignore the little distraction, you closed your eyes again to focus on the man making you feel good.

And it worked for a while, until you felt another droplet, and another. And suddenly it was pouring down. Not even the trees were able to protect the two of you from the cold and aggressive downpour that was already starting to penetrate your clothes.

“Fuck,” Seokmin hissed when he’d abruptly pulled away from your lips, a deep frown now adorning his face. “We need to go. Now.” He looked up at the sky. “This looks like it could become dangerous really fast.”

“B-But...,” you pouted, already feeling your climax ebb further and further away. You’d been so fucking close. Of course something had to ruin your perfect moment. It had all just seemed a little too good to be true.

“I’m not willing to risk our lives, Y/N. Come on.” Despite your protests, Seokmin retreated his fingers from your shorts and wiped them hastily on his shirt before reaching for your hand with the one that hadn’t just been knuckle-deep inside you.

He’d been right though. The sky was now dangerously dark and the faint rumbling sound told you that a storm was definitely not out of the question.

Before you knew it, the two of you were running back to the cabin as fast as you could, all while Seokmin’s hand never left yours. You were glad for that, because the truth was, the whole change in weather terrified you, especially with the thunder and lightning that seemed to get closer and closer by the sound of it.

The cabin was completely dark by the time you arrived, a stark contrast from the bright and sunny place you’d left behind. The two of you were completely drenched as you entered the large hall, bringing a trail of water with you that stained the mahogany floor.

“That was…” you panted, bending forward to lean your hands onto your knees while you tried to slow down your heart rate.

“Intense,” Seokmin finished your sentence.

“Yeah.” You let out a breathy laugh, which was followed by Seokmin’s own laugh. “Do you think the power went out?” you asked after a few seconds, straightening out your body again when you’d slightly calmed down.

“Seems like it,” Seokmin responded. It was so dark that you could barely see his face, even though he was standing right beside you.

And it was quiet, very quiet aside from the thunder roaring outside and the crackling and sputtering sounds coming from what you assumed was the fireplace in the living room. Where was everyone else?

“I guess I’ll try and see if the others are around,” you broke the silence, feeling a sudden need to escape from Seokmin as anxiety crept back into your body – your little escapade in the woods had really come to an end now.

But just as you were about to make your escape, the lights switched back on, followed by the sound of mixed voices quickly coming your way.

“Oh my god, what happened to you guys?!” Hyunwoo exclaimed as he rounded the corner together with Mina, Yejun, Seojoon and your best friend, whose face lit up at the sight of you. You also couldn’t help but catch the confused look on his face as he noticed Seokmin standing beside you.

“Went for a run but got caught up in the rain as you can see,” Seokmin answered for you both.

Only then you managed to get a proper look at him. He was a complete mess, with his hair clinging onto his face and his outfit completely ruined by the rain. You were no doubt in a similar state, if not worse.

“Are you okay? I was worried sick when I couldn’t reach you,” Soonyoung frowned after he’d jogged up to you and examined you for any injuries.

You nodded reassuringly. “I’m sorry. I put my phone on silent and forgot to check, but I’m fine. What happened here though?”

“The power went out because of the storm. Minji needed some help in the basement, so most of us went down to help her get it back on,” Seojoon explained before Soonyoung could open his mouth.

“And some of the others are still napping,” Mina added.

“They can sleep with all this noise?” Seokmin asked.

“Some people can sleep through anything, I guess,” Mina shrugged at the same time you noticed her eyes trail over Seokmin’s wet form, in particular the part where his shirt was now clinging onto his nicely defined abs. You felt a tingle of jealousy at the way she was ogling him, but you reminded yourself that you’d been the one riding his thigh and you’d been the one he’d fingered against a tree not too long ago. No one, not even her, could take that away from you.

“Come on, let’s get you out of these clothes. You might get hypothermia if you stay like this. Let’s go,” Soonyoung interrupted your thoughts.

“Yeah, let’s go,” you nodded, shooting Seokmin a brief glance. Your mood slightly soured as you noticed him talking to Mina, but Soonyoung didn’t give you much time to dwell on it because he was already dragging you away.

“You have a lot of explaining to do, missy.”

That night, you just couldn’t get yourself to fall asleep. Every time you closed your eyes, your mind kept going back to the moment you’d shared with Seokmin. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t seem to forget about the way his soft lips had moved against yours, the feeling of his smooth muscular arms underneath your hands and most importantly, the way his thigh had managed to give you one of the best orgasms of your life.

The things you’d give to do that again. It was pathetic really...how one man could have such a hold on you. But you couldn’t help yourself. You’d now had a proper taste of the drug that was Lee Seokmin and you only craved more and more with each second that passed.

Soonyoung had made it his mission to grill you about your little adventure with Seokmin as soon as your other co-workers were out of earshot. You, being the good friend you were, told him about everything that had happened in the woods, from the moment Seokmin had asked to join your run until the point where he’d made you cum on his thigh, followed by the awful downpour that explained how the two of you had ended up completely drenched in the entrance hall.

Your best friend had been in total shock at your admission – rightfully so – because how the fuck had he missed all the signals? At not a single point in time had the man given him any sort of indication that he was interested in you.

You couldn’t blame Soonyoung, because you were in the exact same boat, which is why you were currently in the kitchen, making your mind work overtime with the way you were overthinking every little thing that had happened so far.

“What are you thinking about?” a deep voice startled you out of your thoughts.

“Seokmin?” You squinted a little since the lights in the kitchen were still off. “Did you follow me here?”

He chuckled in response. “You really think I’d stay up all night just to see if you’d go into the kitchen for some water?”

“I guess not,” you mumbled, feeling stupid for even asking. But then again, you felt like anything was possible with this man.

“Do you mind?” he asked, pointing to the water bottle you were holding. Instead of waiting for your response, he immediately reached forward and twisted the cap off before taking a few sips from your water.

“You could have just grabbed one from the fridge, you know?” you pouted, but couldn’t help but admire the way his Adam’s apple moved every time he swallowed.

He grinned, leaning in closer as he placed the bottle on the counter beside you, his citrusy honeylike smell attacking your nostrils once again. “But sharing is more fun, isn’t it?” God, he was trying to kill you.

“I..uh, am gonna head back to bed,” you stammered, already feeling your nerves get the better of you again.

“Wait.” Seokmin was quick to cage you in between him and the wall located behind you, a sly smirk making its way onto his face. “Answer one question for me first.”

“About what?” you asked carefully, not liking the look on his face.

“The never have I ever game.”

—

“Okay okay! Never have I ever...hooked up with a co-worker,” Seojoon asked when it was his turn.

Your eyes nervously darted through the room as you waited for others to make the first move. Soonyoung, who you knew had had hookups with co-workers before, was quick to take a sip from his beer – being embarrassed was not in his vocabulary. So did Yejun, Hyunwoo and two of your other colleagues before your eyes fell on Seokmin, who slowly raised the cup to his mouth. You could feel your cheeks heat up in response as your mind flashed back to your heated moment in the forest.

“Yah, Lee Seokmin! Tell us right now who and where,” Seojoon demanded, making everyone focus their attention on the man in question.

“I don’t kiss and tell,” Seokmin grinned, after which you quickly averted your gaze before the two of you had the chance to meet eyes.

“Wah, who would have thought? Could it be someone in this room?” Hyunwoo teased, followed by several of the others joining him with their own theories.

While everyone was distracted with Seokmin, you hurriedly took a sip from your own drink, hoping that no one would notice. And you thought you got away with it, but then Sana, who was known for being nosy and very observing, started to screech your name, which turned everyone’s attention to you instead.

“Y/N?! You too?!”

“Who? And where?” Mina added.

“No comment,” you grumbled, feeling like you were seconds away from making a run for it as you felt everyone’s eyes bore into you.

Fortunately, Soonyoung was nice enough to notice your discomfort and interrupted the questioning by telling Hyunwoo to hurry and ask the next question. Not that his question was much better. If anything, it was even worse than the first one.

“Never have I ever...masturbated during work hours,” he smirked.

Feeling your body tense up at the question, you again waited for someone else to make the first move. However, this time, a lot less people drank from their cups. Two to be exact – Yejun and Sana. You debated whether you should drink too, but the alcohol that was already running through your system eventually convinced you to do it, surprising most of your co-workers.

“Y/N?!” Sana screeched again.

You nearly whined in annoyance at her reaction. “What? I wasn’t the only one who drank,” you huffed, mentally cursing yourself for being so honest.

“We need a story time, because this is making me curious,” Seojoon chuckled, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

There was no way you were going to share that humiliating story, especially not when the reason for its existence was sitting right across from you.

“Isn’t the point of the game just drinking when you’ve done something?” you sighed, just wanting to move on to the next question already.

Hyunwoo shrugged. “It is, but we’re curious. Never would have expected that from you.”

Your eyebrows raised at his words. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Yeah, you seem so...innocent,” Yejun chuckled.

“Oh, trust me, s-ah!” Soonyoung yelped as you jabbed your elbow into his side.

Your best friend was then met with your death glare, so he knew to shut up right then and there. This was definitely a moment where you needed Soonyoung to rescue you, not put you in a situation that would end up with you making a fool out of yourself in front of all your co-workers.

So, very subtly, you reached for your nose before lightly tapping it in the hope that he would notice. And oh, he sure did.

Your best friend peeked into your cup and snatched it out of your hand. “Would you look at that, Y/N. We can’t have empty cups around here. Let’s get you a refill!”

It was definitely not empty, but you couldn’t care less. You and Soonyoung were already out of your seats and rushing towards the kitchen before anyone had a chance to protest.

“Thanks,” you exhaled, glad to be out of that stressful situation.

“You know I got you. But...it was kinda funny to see you struggling a little.”

“Soonyoung,” you warned, not in the mood for his antics.

He made a gesture of zipping his mouth and throwing away the imaginary key. “I’ll shut up now.”

“Very wise.”

—

“The Hyunwoo question,” Seokmin continued, never losing that smirk. “Tell me, was it me you were thinking of?”

“Would you believe me if I said it wasn’t?”

“I would, but the fact that you’re clenching your thighs right now tells me that you’re probably lying,” he mumbled, placing one of his large hands onto the small of your back to move you just a tad bit closer to him.

You didn’t have a comeback for that, mainly because he was right. This man could read you like a book and you hated it. Were you really that easy to read or was he just good at it? Either way, it was getting more and more difficult to focus on that thought since Seokmin seemed to move in closer with every breath you released, his minty breath hitting your face and his alluring dark brown eyes fixated on your own.

It was intense, with the way he was staring right into your soul. And the urge to just throw yourself at him was strong, particularly when he lightly brushed his velvety lips over yours for just a brief moment.

“You’re cute, you know that?” He chuckled at the way you were desperately chasing after him when he’d moved back slightly.

“You can’t just tease me like that,” you huffed, fisting your hands into the fabric of his shirt to prevent him from moving any further away.

“But I like the way you respond to me.” One of his hands shimmied underneath your shirt and began to gently trace patterns onto your back, causing your heart to start beating faster. “You’re so...” you shivered at the feeling of his lips grazing along the side of your jaw before stopping right at your lips “reactive to my touch.”

Then before you knew it, your back was making contact with the cold hard wall as Seokmin’s cushiony lips collided with yours, moving with a gentle urgency that sent tingles all across your skin. Your mind reeled at the feeling of his wet tongue sliding past your lips, which caused a warmth to bloom in your chest that you hadn’t felt before with anyone else. Compared to your kiss in the woods, this one was much more intense and softer, and it made you absolutely melt into his touch.

You felt yourself get lost in the moment as his fingers danced up your spine, leaving a long trail of goosebumps in their wake before finally making contact with the underside of your breast. Your back arched off the wall, an airy moan escaping from your lips at the feeling of his cold fingertips on the sensitive skin of your soft mound. His touches were addictive, sending spike after spike of electricity through your veins, melting you into a pathetic puddle of need for the man you were so desperately clinging onto.

A sudden opening of the kitchen door had the both of you freeze on the spot, lips still very much attached. The position you were in kept you hidden for the time being – as long the interrupter didn’t turn on the lights or peaked behind the door.

Seokmin slowly pulled away, only to put his index finger against his lips to signal for you to be quiet. That proved to be difficult with your heart nearly beating out of your chest and your labored breathing that was the result of the kiss you’d shared. Still, you tried your best to hold your breath as the person rummaged through what sounded like the fridge.

The whole situation lasted only a few minutes, but it felt like eternity as you anxiously waited for the person to finish whatever they came here for. Meanwhile, Seokmin’s form was completely pressed against yours due to the way the door had opened. Any other situation and you would have been ecstatic at this proximity, but the fear of getting caught had completely ruined the mood for you.

It was only when the door finally closed that you felt comfortable enough to move from your position against the wall.

Seokmin ran a hand through his hair as he gave you some space to breathe. “Shit, that was close.”

“You could say that,” you gasped, sucking in a big gulp of air. “I think I almost peed myself.”

“That’s the risk of sneaking around in a house full of co-workers.”

“Yeah, well. I’d like to keep my sanity.” That earned a snicker from the man in front of you.

“I’ll give you a break for now. That was enough excitement for one evening, don’t you think?”

You nodded in response, butterflies erupting in your stomach at the prospect of doing this again.

His fingers gently caressed your cheek. “Sleep well, Y/N. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“N-Night,” you whispered, the feeling of his touch still lingering even after he’d made his exit.

One of these days this man was going to be the death of you.

“Do I look okay?” you asked Soonyoung, gesturing to the black matching set of leggings and sports bra you’d decided to wear for the yoga and meditation session.

Your best friend, who was dressed in a pair of black shorts and a white oversized t-shirt, raised his eyebrows questioningly as he looked you over. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“Well, I don’t know? Maybe because I’m going to be in a bunch of weird poses?”

“Are you sure it’s not because you’re afraid Seokmin won’t be able to control himself?”

“Definitely not.”

“I still can’t believe you two had another kinky moment and almost got caught,” Soonyoung giggled. “You really have no idea who interrupted you?”

You shook your head. “No and it’s probably better that I don’t.”

“Everyone! Yoga session is about to start, so you better get down here!” Seojoon’s loud voice boomed through the large cabin.

Soonyoung reluctantly got up from the comfortable chair he’d been sitting in. “Come on. You know how big he is on participation and punctuality. Not in the mood to get my ass kicked today.”

“You’re right. He’s scary when he’s angry,” you shuddered, remembering that time he’d yelled at one of the new interns for skipping out on a company dinner without giving a valid reason.

Once you’d entered the yoga room, your focus immediately drifted from Soonyoung to Seokmin, who’d once again chosen violence – he’d gone for another white sleeveless shirt, paired with some dark green shorts that accentuated his robust legs in the best way possible.

He shot you a sneaky wink when your eyes met his, holding your gaze for a few seconds before he turned around when Hyunwoo demanded his attention. The simple action had left you feeling more flustered than you’d expected, with heat spreading across your face and down your neck.

Was he actually trying to give you a heart attack? What if someone had caught that?

Fortunately, as far as you were aware, no one had seemed to notice. Soonyoung was still happily chatting away, sharing some ridiculous story about his cousin who’d attempted to boil pasta without water. You, however, were only half listening, too engrossed in your own thoughts, but he luckily didn’t seem to care much.

It wasn’t long before the instructor arrived and the class started, forcing you to focus on the task at hand. Now, it wasn’t your first time doing yoga, but it was definitely your first time doing yoga with Lee Seokmin in the room, and from where you were standing, you had a perfect view of the man’s gorgeous side profile.

The routine was fairly simple and nothing too challenging for a beginner. Most of the yoga poses you were able to do without needing much concentration, which was probably a good thing. Because almost all of them put emphasis on the thighs and to say that you were a little distracted was putting it lightly.

During the variations of the warrior pose and the chair pose, your eyes were glued to Seokmin’s thighs. No matter how loud that inner voice was screaming for you to look away, you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. The position you were in allowed you to observe every little detail, from the way his thighs thickened every time he bent his knees to the way his muscles contracted each time he corrected his balance. Heat was pooling in your lower stomach by the time the instructor started with the floor exercises.

You thought that that would be slightly better, seeing as it wouldn’t involve as much thigh, but boy were you wrong. The bridge pose you were all currently in provided you with enough mental images that left you with a wanton desire and another ruined pair of panties.

Against your better judgment, you’d made the mistake of looking at Seokmin, who was in the process of alternating between raising and lowering his hips every few seconds or so. His movements were smooth and controlled, which made you wonder what it would feel like if he were to fuck you like that in that exact position.

“Remind you of something?” Soonyoung snickered from beside you, startling you out of your daydream.

“Huh?”

“Are you even listening?” he hissed after seeing your confused expression.

You rolled your eyes. “I am now.”

“Anyway...I was talking about the instructor.”

Only then you realized that all this time, your yoga instructor had been talking you through the pose with her encouraging but still calm voice.

“Relax your body and breath in…and out...in...and out.” It sounded an awful lot like the damn pregnancy video Soonyoung had shown you.

“I think you need to follow her advice, because you’re wilding again. Can’t have you soaking the whole floor,” your best friend teased.

“Oh my god, please shut up,” you chuckled – you would have slapped him if it weren’t for the fact that you were in an awkward position.

By the end of the class, you were in desperate need of a break. Not just from yoga, but from Seokmin’s thighs in particular.

“I’ll be right back. Just gonna get some water,” you told Soonyoung as you picked up your phone and your water bottle from the floor.

“Just hurry back. Oh! And get me a snack,” he called after you.

Ignoring both of his requests, you made your way into the kitchen and towards the sink, where you filled your empty bottle with some ice cold water.

“Y/N.” You swiftly turned around at the sound of Seokmin’s voice echoing through the empty kitchen, not having anticipated his presence.

“Come with me,” he motioned and grabbed onto your hand before pulling you towards the backdoor, not even waiting for your reply.

“Yah! Where are we going? Seokmin?” you squealed, having no choice but to keep up with his fast pace – it was either that or be dragged around.

“Seokmin,” you repeated when he still hadn’t answered you. Your mind was reeling at this point, bordering between excitement and nervousness as Seokmin led you into the forest behind the cabin, a totally different route from the one you’d taken on your run.

“W-Wait, the meditation is going to start soon and-”

Your words made him stop in his tracks and you would have bumped into him if you hadn’t made a last-minute change in your steps.

He turned around, his dark eyes boring into you. “Then tell me, would you rather do that or go with me?”

The answer to that was easy. Of course you’d rather go with him. But skipping the meditation session or arriving late would make your co-workers suspicious, and if only the two of you were missing, it would only be a matter of time before they would connect the dots.

Did he not care about that at all?

Your mouth opened and closed a few times, no words coming out as you tried to reason with yourself. Seokmin, who seemed to notice the inner conflict you were having, softened his gaze and gave your hand a light squeeze.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” you stated with absolutely no hesitation.

“And you like me, right?”

“Yes.” If someone would have told you a year ago that you’d be admitting that to Seokmin, you would have straight-up laughed in their face. But here you were, telling him as if he wasn’t making you feel all weak in the knees.

“Then that’s settled,” he responded, shooting you that infamous bright smile of his.

Fuck that meditation session. Because who were you to say no to that smile? Besides, you wanted this – no, you needed this moment with him and you weren’t going to let your fear get the better of you. It didn’t stop you before, so why would you let it stop you now?

Something in your facial expressions must have given away exactly what you were thinking, because Seokmin was already moving again, leading you to god knows where. But this time, you didn’t protest. Instead, you eagerly followed in his footsteps, your worries completely forgotten, leaving only a feeling of exhilaration as you wondered what he had planned for the both of you.

After what felt like ages, he finally stopped at a small but beautiful open space that was surrounded by trees and other greenery.

“This should be good enough for what I have in mind,” Seokmin said, turning his body to face yours, your hand still firmly grasped in his.

“And what might that be?” you mused calmly, even though your body felt tight with anticipation.

“Wouldn’t you like to find out?” he teased as his lips curved into a smile that managed to seem both angelic and devilish at the same time.

Without even realizing it, Seokmin had moved in closer, his breath now lightly hitting your face as your faces were only inches apart – a scene that you were all too familiar with.

He looked at you expectantly, his eyes radiant and slightly mischievous, almost as if he was asking you to make the first move. Feeling more confident this time, you were happy to comply, closing the little bit of distance between the two of you to slide your lips against Seokmin’s inviting pillowy lips.

It started out slow, with Seokmin’s fingertips dancing lightly along your sides, but the kiss quickly deepened, turning into something more as both of your hands started to wander over each other’s bodies with an acute need.

You didn’t exactly know how you got there, but you suddenly found yourself perched in Seokmin’s lap on top of a large rock that had been conveniently placed in the clearing. Your lips were frantically moving against another as you tried to relieve yourself of some of the tension that had built up inside you. But it wasn’t enough – nowhere near enough, especially not when you could feel the outline of his dick pressing against your crotch. With a little encouragement from Seokmin’s hands on your ass, your hips automatically started to grind into his, creating a maddening friction that only made you desperate for more.

Your hands were moving on their own accord, hungrily tugging at the bottom of his shirt, which he was quick to discard. The sight you were greeted with pulled an unexpected groan out of you, because how was he so damn perfect?

As expected, his skin was smooth and toned, just like the rest of him. His well-defined abs were covered with a thin layer of sweat from the previous activity, which, combined with the little happy trail that disappeared into his shorts, only made you want all of him that much more.

“Enjoying yourself, hmm?” Seokmin interrupted .

You could only hum in agreement, not quite trusting your voice right now.

“It’s only fair I get something in return, don’t you think?” His large hands teasingly moved up your form, your body shuddering with excitement at the thought of being able to feel his fingers all over you.

You sucked in a sharp breath when he abruptly tugged down the zipper that was holding your sports bra together at the front, the piece of fabric now dangling helplessly off your shoulders.

“Fucking hell,” he breathed at the sight of your exposed breasts, your nipples rock hard from the slightly cool breeze that passed you momentarily. Seokmin was on you like white on rice, wasting absolutely no time as he wrapped his lips around one of your nipples.

“F-Fuck!” you couldn’t help but curse at the feeling of his hot and wet tongue sucking messily on your hardened bud. Your hips were desperately grinding against his once more, your hands having moved to grip onto his hard thighs as you leaned back to let him work your body.

It felt good – so good. But you wanted more. It was at the point where you needed him to see the effect he had on you, particularly the sticky mess in between your legs that was getting more and more uncontrollable with every second that passed.

If only your clothes weren’t in the way.

Seokmin seemed to think the exact same thing, because it wasn’t long after that that he released your spit-covered tit with a pop, followed by a demanding “strip naked” that made your pussy clench involuntarily.

He didn’t have to tell you twice. Within seconds, you’d quickly kicked off your shoes, tugged down your leggings and wrecked panties before adding your loosened sports bra to the pile on the forest floor.

Then he was pulling you back onto the rock, his fingers digging into your sides before he roughly planted you onto his thigh, his shorts having ridden up from the way you’d been grinding in his lap just a minute ago.

Your guttural moan resonated through the forest as soon as your slick cunt made contact with his bare thigh, your hands grasping onto his shoulders for dear life as you tried to hold it together. This was it. Paradise. You were sure of it. Many times you’d dreamed of this moment, but nothing could have prepared you for the real thing.

“What are you waiting for? Isn’t this what you wanted?” Seokmin then proceeded to flex the muscle you were sitting on, pulling a loud whimper from you that had you throw your head back.

“Yes! ‘s what I wanted,” you moaned, your breathing already heavy and irregular from that simple stimulation.

“Then ride it. Show me how you make yourself cum,” he said, wrapping one of his strong arms around your middle while his free hand hungrily kneaded the flesh of your trembling thigh, urging you to move.

So, you did exactly that. You slowly rolled your hips once to test the waters. It was a good thing that Seokmin was holding you up, because the pressure of your clit dragging across his muscular thigh and the feeling of your slick spreading all over the place was enough to make you crumble.

Pretty soon, you were humping his thigh as if it was your last day, pleasure spreading through your entire being as you tried to make yourself cum.

Seokmin’s hands were all over you, leaving nothing but destruction in their wake as they roughly squeezed your ass, your thighs and your breasts that jiggled with every movement of your hips. Your mind was an absolute mess as slick kept gushing out of your pulsing cunt, making it harder for you to keep your eyes open.

“Eyes on me, baby,” he grunted, fingers firmly grabbing onto your chin as he pulled your face back down.

You could only whine in response, which Seokmin saw as an opportunity to push his thumb past your lips. He released a deep groan at the sight of your lips wrapped around his digit.

“Look at you, shit. Dripping on my thigh like a needy little slut.”

“Fuck – Fuck!” you whimpered, releasing his thumb almost as soon as he’d started flexing his thigh again, your orgasm unexpectedly tearing through your body with only a few more rolls of your hips. All of your muscles tensed up, your back arching and legs shaking violently as you released on Seokmin’s thigh.

“You okay?” he asked after giving you a few seconds to recover.

“I’m great.” You released a breathless chuckle, peeking up at him through heavy eyelids, feeling slightly out of breath from the intense pleasure you’d just experienced.

“Good, because it’s my turn now,” he smirked, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to your lips before moving you off his drenched thigh.

Was he finally going to fuck you?

Curiously, you watched as he scooted off the rock and turned around, which allowed you to check out his half naked form for just a brief moment. But it was enough to have you riled up again, with his shorts barely covering anything at this point and the outline of his hard dick very prominent through his tight shorts – you licked your lips in anticipation.

“Come here,” he motioned, his hands wrapping around your ankles. He was careful as he helped you scoot closer to the edge, not wanting to bust your skin open on the rough surface you were laying on.

“What are you- oh my god!” you squealed after he’d thrown your legs over his shoulders, not having expected him to dive right into your pussy. Your eyes automatically closed. “S-Seok – min!” you whined, one of your hands tangling into his purple locks to steady yourself.

Not being able to help it, your hips jerked at the feeling of his hot mouth on your cunt. You were still extremely sensitive from your previous orgasm, but the slight pain of the overstimulation mixed with the pleasure from his tongue was surprisingly arousing, and it wasn’t long before your hips were moving in rhythm with Seokmin’s mouth.

With some effort, you forced your eyes open, a shudder ripping through your body from head to toe as you took in the view in front of you. Seokmin’s dark orbs were already looking at you, his tongue skillfully sliding through your folds and over your throbbing clit, all while applying exactly the right amount of pressure to your most sensitive spots.

“Right t-there...gonna make me cu-um,” you moaned when he pushed two of his fingers into your slick-covered hole, curling them up deliciously against your insides. All the while, his tongue had never stopped lapping at your swollen clit.

“Cum for me.” Seokmin’s voice had been slightly muffled due to the fact that he was still buried in your pussy, but you’d heard him loud and clear. That, plus the vibrations that his voice sent to your clit and the way he was staring at you while he was giving you the best head of your life, was enough to send you completely over the edge.

“Oh fuck!” you gasped, your hand tightening in his hair and your hips buckling erratically as the orgasm that had been building inside you reached its peak. It was unlike anything you’d felt before. You were cumming, but it was more than that...more intense. And there was so much arousal everywhere.

When Seokmin pulled back, you understood what had happened. His face was glistening, a few drops of your arousal dripping down his chin onto his chiseled abdomen.

Your cheeks burned with heat. “Did I just…?”

“Squirt? Fuck yes,” he panted, using the back of his hand to wipe away whatever slick was on and around his lips before stepping in between your legs. “And it was fucking hot,” he continued, putting his hand behind your head to pull you in for a messy kiss – the taste of yourself on his lips caused you to groan into Seokmin’s mouth.

“Please. Need you inside,” you gasped, your nails clawing at his back when he’d moved his lips from your mouth to your neck, occasionally using his teeth to nip at your sensitive skin.

“Yeah? Think you can handle that?” he murmured, his fingers digging into your soft thighs.

“Yes! Seokmin, please...need you to fuck me hard,” you whimpered, not caring how desperate you sounded for him.

“Fuck, okay,” he breathed, quickly removing himself from your hold before taking a step back.

Biting on your lower lip, you watched as he pulled his shorts and underwear off, revealing his hard dick that was already leaking large beads of precum. He was close enough for you to reach, so without thinking, you grasped onto his firm length. It felt hot and heavy against your palm, his precum now slowly trickling down towards the base.

You started to stroke him lightly, wanting to make him feel just as good as he’d made you feel...twice already. But Seokmin had other plans.

“Don’t.” He choked back a moan, his hand on your wrist after the second stroke, gently urging you to let go. “I’ll cum before I even get the chance to fuck you,” he continued after seeing your puzzled expression.

“Oh,” you whispered, biting your lip at the thought of making him come undone with just a few strokes of your hand.

A few seconds later, he’d forced you down onto your back once again, this time sliding his hands up your thighs until he was able to spread you out, your pussy still dripping from your prior activities.

“Still so wet after cumming twice already,” the man between your legs sighed, his gaze directed at the lower half of your body. “So greedy.” That was followed by a slap to your pussy. You yelped in surprise, even though the slight ache resulting from his roughness had you curling your toes in excitement.

“Seokmin, please. I can’t wait.” You were begging now, wrapping your legs around his waist to express how desperate you really were. “P-Please, I-”

Your breath hitched involuntarily at the feeling of his dick rubbing through your folds before finding your entrance. You forced your body muscles to relax at the intrusion that followed, but seeing as you were more than lubed up, Seokmin had no problem sliding every inch inside.

“Fuck...such a tight pussy,” he grunted when he’d completely bottomed out, the unfamiliar stretch of dick leaving you with a pleasant burn. Seokmin continued to take a deep breath as he tried to contain himself, keeping still for a few seconds to give you some time to get used to him.

But you didn’t need any of that. You just needed him to fuck you...hard...and fast, until you couldn’t walk anymore. You were convinced that you’d be able to take whatever he was going to give to you.

That’s why you groaned in frustration when he still hadn’t moved. “I’m not gonna break, you know? You can fuck me.” This was followed by you clenching down hard, which earned you a strangled moan from Seokmin, who was quick to jump into action after that.

“As you wish,” he smirked.

Any control you thought you had was gone after that stunt you pulled. He moved back slightly, just enough so that the tip was still inside you, before slamming his full length back into you. Your eyes nearly bulged out of your sockets at the force, your back arching off the stone as you gasped for breath. But Seokmin wasn’t planning to go easy on you now. You’d given him the okay, so you were going to have to take it.

Within seconds, he’d found a steady rhythm, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs for support as his balls – now covered in your slick – slapped against your ass with every thrust.

You were on cloud nine, mind completely blank aside from the thoughts that revolved around Seokmin fucking the shit out of you in the middle of the woods.

Your fingers weakly clawed at his toned arms as your mind reeled at the feeling of Seokmin continuously slamming into your wet cunt, the head of his dick kissing the tip of your cervix every time he leaned forward.

“Are you close?” he asked, his breathing sounding irregular due to the force he was putting into his movements.

“C-Close,” you stuttered, not in the right state of mind to formulate anything more than that. Seokmin sped up his thrusts after that, fucking you even faster and harder as he kept hitting that right spot inside you.

“Where do you want my cum, baby?” Seokmin asked when his thrusts were getting sloppier and sloppier by the second.

“Inside m-me...want your cum so bad,” you mewled, feeling like you were about to lose it with how fast he was drilling into you.

“Fuck!” Seokmin’s hips stuttered momentarily at your words, but he quickly regained himself before he resumed his merciless rhythm, bringing you closer and closer to the edge every time he buried himself back into you.

You finally came for the third time with a loud cry of his name, your body shaking all over as a result of the intensity. Seokmin wasn’t far behind. He gave one final thrust before he stilled inside you, groaning loudly into your shoulder as his dick released big spurts of warm cum that had you feeling nice and full by the end of it.

“Holy shit,” he sighed when both of your highs had subsided.

“You could say that,” you giggled, trying to regain your breathing.

“We should definitely do that again.”

Your eyes widened in surprise at his statement. “Really?”

“Of course. Unless...you don’t want to? I don’t just do this with anyone, you know?” he grinned as he helped you down from the rock.

“Yes, yes! I would love that,” you smiled, the familiar butterflies in your stomach making their appearance again.

You really thought this day couldn’t be better. Well, that was until you’d both gotten dressed and you’d picked up your discarded phone off the floor to check the time.

Annoying Bestie 💖: >> Y/N!! Where the fuck are you?! Annoying Bestie 💖: >> Are u seriously ditching me for some dick rn?! Annoying Bestie 💖: >> If ur not here within the next 10 mins ur gonna miss the meditation Annoying Bestie 💖: >> People are getting suspicious… Annoying Bestie 💖: >> Trying to cover, but there’s only so much I can do with both of u missing :’) Annoying Bestie 💖: >> They’re definitely connecting the dots...u and Mr. Thighs Annoying Bestie 💖: >> Just so u know, ur never gonna live this down Annoying Bestie 💖: >> I hate it here Annoying Bestie 💖: >> Hope the D is worth it cuz ur missing out on some bomb food Annoying Bestie 💖: >> U BETTER GET TF BACK IF U DON’T WANT US TO LEAVE YOUR ASS HERE

“Uh...I think we might be in a bit of trouble,” you grimaced as you read through the many messages Soonyoung had sent you over the hours you and Seokmin had been ‘occupied’.

“How much trouble are we talking?”

“As in, we might miss the bus if we don’t hurry the fuck up.”

“Well shit, let’s go!” Seokmin exclaimed, reaching for your hand to drag you along with him.

“Is this how it’s going to be every time? Me getting dragged around by you?” you complained.

He looked back just in time to see you nearly trip over your own feet. “You’ll get used to it soon enough,” he laughed.

Yeah, you guess you could get used to this.

© All right reserved — ourdawnishotterthanourday // Please do not repost or edit any of my works without my permission!! If you see any of my works outside of this Tumblr, pls report it to me asap. Thank you in advance!

AAAAND THAT'S A WRAP! This took me much much longer than I expected since it was originally supposed to be a small fic, but I couldn't help myself since I had too many ideas for the plot hehe... Hope you enjoyed it!

If you did, please consider reblogging/commenting/sending me an ask 🫶

☀ if you want to be added to my PERMANENT tag list for upcoming works (MAINLY NSFW, SO 18+), leave a comment below or send me an ask, but be sure to mention PERMANENT TAG LIST if you choose to send an ask! If you wish to be removed, also send me an ask!

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smoothlikealikeasnake · 2 months

Text

Strawberry Princess - Chapter One “Complete Opposites”

Pairing - BTS OT7 x reader, Hybrid BTS x Reader, Hybrid BTS x Hybrid Reader

Genre - Hybrid!AU , Hybrid BTS , Hybrid Reader, fluff, angst, smut, alternative reality , strangers to lovers , strangers to friends, friends to lovers

Warnings - Fluff, brief mention of blood and wound

Summary - When a certain hybrid starts to appear whenever Jungkook is at the gym, an immediate pull is felt between the two and their eventual friendship soon is spread to the rest of his pack.

Please read the brief on each of the hybrids lives in this fic and the world they live in to make sense of the things mentioned, I hope you enjoy! x

Previous Next

Complete Opposites.

Not a single part of her looked like she belonged in the gym. Every part of him fit in. It was inevitable that he’d notice her, especially since she never used any of the equipment, she seemed to be there with her friend. Her friend seemed to fit right in, a bengal hybrid who just happened to have the same gym schedule as him, she was never alone though. Every session she had, she brought her princess looking friend with her, Y/n he’d heard her say.

Y/n would always be there, stay and watch her athletic friend or just play on her phone besides her but she followed her friend, Sana, round to every machine and stayed as close as possible. She stuck out, obviously, not just for her lingering but her appearance. Truthfully, her appearance is the first thing that drew Jungkook to her.

He’d noticed her the first time she came and quickly became fond of the shy glances she’d give him everyday, not that he intended on ever speaking to her. Despite his tough appearance, complex ink, piercings galore and muscle everywhere, he was an introvert, very reserved and his appearance challenged his shy personality. He imagined talking to her but he never had a reason and he needed a reason.

Never had a reason to speak to the pretty little cat hybrid who was always dressed in baby pink and white skirts and pretty tops that stick out in the dark gym. To the pretty little cat hybrid with strawberry blonde waves that cascaded down her shoulders and back like a gentle stream - the strawberry blonde waves that turned into little ringlets around her hairline. She also always had a new hairstyle, always put together but had a natural face, long brown eyelashes and plump lips, sometimes with a light gloss on, she was like a princess, not only in Jungkooks eyes but he was sure she appeared like that to everyone around with the stares she would get.

———————————————————————————

It might be clear now just how much Jungkook noticed her, how much she distracted him unintentionally. She joined Sana in the gym for about 3 weeks before he got any closer than glanced across the gym and it was only because Sana used a machine next to him today. The usually calm strawberry princess beside Sana seemed to grow fidgety as they neared him and settled next to him, the water bottle in Y/n’s hand shaking slightly and it was only then that Jungkook made an effort to look away, hoping to calm the nerves that had grown in Y/n’s body in a matter of seconds.

While he wasn’t sure what exactly caused her new behaviour, he didn’t want to worsen it so he tried to focus on the weights infront of him while Sana got started on the stepper next to him. Y/n stood in her short pink skirt and white sweater inbetween them, strawberry blonde ears on high alert and matching tail wrapping tightly around her waist as she tried to focus on not looking at Jungkook.

Kooks ears twitched at every movement she made, he knew she was shy but wasn’t expecting her to be nervous. Lip between his teeth, nibbling as he was deep in thought about how to calm the kitty next to him. He never stopped to wonder why he cared so much, he hadn’t done anything but he still cared about the pretty girl he’d been exchanging shy glances with for 3 weeks.

Not knowing what else to do, he got on with his reps until he was on his 5 minute break, wiped away the hair that had stuck to his head with his tattooed hand and took a gulp of water with his eyes closed before he opened them and in the mirror, staring back at him with widened eyes was Y/n who seemed to have been avoiding him since she had moved next to him. All he did was smile at her and Y/n’s slightly chubby cheeks grew pink and her shaking hands finally gave up on the water bottle in them, dropping it and as she did, Kooks quick reflexes moved to catch the bottle before it hit the floor.

Bottle in hand, he put a soft smile on his lips and held the fallen object out to the pretty kitty who’s eyes had got even wider if that’s possible. She just stared at it for a second before looking up as a gentle word left Kooks pierced lips

“Careful” - that singular word had Y/n feel like she might melt, her cheeks grew redder, she panicked and took the bottle from his hand, not without getting mesmerised by the art that covered his arm and then moving her gaze quickly to study him further, enjoying seeing him up close before she realised her manners.

“Thank you, I’ll be more careful” meekly left her plump lips quickly along with a sweet smile up to the intimidating bunny hybrid. They were both more than satisfied with the interaction and could feel happiness filling their chests before getting back to their own tasks again.

That was the first of many interactions, with slow progress every time, Y/n never grew less shy but Jungkook grew slightly more bold until one day Y/n realised how she wanted to grow closer to this intimidating bunny who always treated her so softly, it just so happened that Kook forgot a water bottle on one day and while he went and bought one so Y/n couldn’t do anything that day, it set in stone her next action.

———————————————————————————

The next day, Y/n came in with her wavy locks held back in a French braid, soft body clad in a short white skirt that showed off the plush of her thighs and a pink t-shirt with a heart in the centre, tucked into the skirt. She had put her hair in her favourite style and worn her favourite skirt to build the confidence for the small move she wanted to make today, it wouldn’t seem like a big deal too others but she was always extremely shy and struggled to start friendships. He was worth it and soon the rest of his pack would be too.

Sana always brung her own water bottle but today Y/n had bought one from the shop before she made her way to the gym with Sana today, not for herself, for Jungkook. She thought maybe if she gave it to him it could be the step to new interactions, he had forgotten his own yesterday and it was always Y/n’s love language to care for others. Sana had been teasing Y/n about her crush anyway and been pushing her to make a small move so this was Y/n taking her advice for once.

Standing next to Sana as she got ready to use the treadmill, Y/n spotted Jungkook across the gym who had noticed her too and gave her a smile that quickly turned into a curious and shocked expression as she smiled bashfully back and started walking around the machines to reach him. He didn’t want to assume she was coming over but the closer she got, the more his hopes rose until he saw her make eye contact as she got into a closer zone to him. Her heart was pounding as her hands shook but she took deep breaths telling herself it was okay and just wanting to retreat every step closer.

“Hi” was all Y/n could muster up as she stared up at Jungkook, mouth slightly agape as she stuttered over the words she wanted to say, hands reaching forward to present the bottle

“Well- Yesterday- I noticed yesterday you forgot your water bottle and I didn’t want you to go without because that’s rlly bad and I thought if I brought you one just in case then definitely you wouldn’t not have one-“ she quickly rambled refusing to look into his eyes before she felt him slightly graze her own hands when he took a step closer to hold the water bottle and only then did she look up at him to see him smiling happily down at her.

“Thank you, I guess it’s me that needs to be more careful now, huh?” He smiled brightly at her, his smile causing butterflies to flutter around her stomach, she just smiled and nodded slightly at him, loving the short interaction, fluffy tail unwrapping from her waist and moving quickly behind her in excitement at the success. For some reason she felt a overwhelming urge to jump into his arms at the feeling but held herself back and waved as she practically skipped back to Sana, the brightest smile you could imagine on her face.

This was the real start in their growing love, everyday then on Y/n would bring a water bottle to give to Jungkook and the conversations would grow more and more while everyday Kook would gush to his pack about her and they grew more and more curious.

———————————————————————————

In the Bangtan House

“Hyungs she is just so sweet, she’s cute and pretty and so nice, she makes my hour at the gym just amazing” - Kook gushed while he lay his head in Namjoons lap, the rest of the pack listening intently, for some reason they didn’t feel a single drop of jealousy, only curiosity, they hadn’t even seen a picture of her.

“You’ve got us so curious Kook, maybe one of us should meet her too?” Joon suggested as he ran his hands through Jungkooks hair

“ I want you all to meet her there’s just something about her I can’t describe it but she’s so shy, maybe we could wait until she’s more comfortable with me?” - Jungkook lay deep in thought, eager to have his hyungs meet the sweet princess who smelt like sweet strawberries and had the beauty of an angel just like his mates. The pack grew soft at the thoughtfulness their youngest mate portrayed and quickly agreed.

“Well when she’s ready how about one of us come to the gym with you Kook?” Seokjin suggested lovingly and the felines practically purred at the idea. Then it was agreed that when Y/n was more comfortable and knew more about the pack, one of them would come to meet her too.

———————————————————————————

At the gym, Jungkook and Y/n’s comfortable quickly grew, Kook started to see just how playful Y/n really could be and it was then that Kook suggested they met at a park one day, she quickly agreed and her shy demeanour came back slightly, they both had a feeling that they’d be much closer after this meet. The next member to meet her would get the opportunity very soon because she already knew a lot about his pack and would be even more comfortable after their meet.

So the day came where they would make their way to the park to get icecream and just talk for a few hours. Y/n dressed in her favourite dress with her long hair down in its natural waves making sure her tail was especially fluffy and soft. Kook wore black combat pants with a tighter shirt than normal, the all black matched the colour off his floppy ears and puff tail.

Kook surprised Y/n upon greeting her as he brought her into a warm hug with his strong arms around her little waist and she gasped at the forward contact before quickly putting her arms around his neck and melting into his chest, both reluctant to let go after a short while, Y/n’s tail had even subconsciously moved around Jungkooks own waist and when they pulled away she had to hold back a gasp at the slight brush of his hand against the soft fur as she moved her tail away, slightly embarrassed. He held back a chuckle at that and quickly got into a conversation with her.

A small while later they got icecream, Y/n got, would you guess it, strawberry where as Jungkook got vanilla as they didn’t have much selection and he wanted to play it safe, when they sat down Jungkook decided it was time to start being more playful with the feline. While he distracted her with the typical

“Look over there!” He stole a mini spoonful of her ice cream and as she turned around confused, a betrayed expression adorned on her face before she stole her own scoop, they playfully bickered the whole time until they finished and threw their icecream cups away.

There peaceful walk was interrupted when Y/n decided to properly get back Jungkook for what he started earlier that hour and played the exact same trick on him

“Oh my gosh look! Look over there!” Before her feline eyes narrowed slightly and she pounced, straight onto Jungkook back as he stumbled from the surprise and yelped before laughing uncontrollably, Y/n following suite completely forgetting she was currently on his back as his hands moved behind him to hold her up by her thighs even if she didn’t need it by the vice grip of her legs around his slim waist and her arms around his neck.

Y/n hadn’t even realised her claws were out when she was holding onto the curve between Jungkooks shoulders and neck and slightly digging them in. She hadn’t meant to grip tighter when he had stumbled from the blissful laughing and without either of them realising one of her sharp claws pierced into his skin, not that he had even noticed, roughhousing with the predators in his pack and his obsession with tattoos and piercings left him immune to the slight pain.

It was only when they calmed down slightly and Y/n slid off Jungkooks back to look at him that her expression completely dropped into one of regret and worry, panicking about the harm she’d inflicted

“I’m so sorry, Kook I didn’t mean too-“ as she rushed forward, breathing heavier, hovering her fingers above the wound and as he cut her off she did the same, just not how either expected it.

“Just a little pinch its okay I didn’t even noti-“ his words got caught in his throat as by some unaccounted instinct Y/n pulled him down so she could reach the wound trickling a small amount of blood and brought her mouth closer to him, Kook froze at the tongue that darted out to remove any blood and start the healing process of the wound, Y/n couldn’t even process what she was doing as something in her overpowered her usual mind and felt as though it was controlling her, she finally pulled back when the bleeding stopped and looked up at him before coming back to her senses. Both of their scents sweeter than usual.

Jungkook knew she would run at the realisation and so he grabbed onto her waist and instead thanked her, thanked her both minds, her feline mind and her usually conscious human mind.

“Thank you, it’s all better now” He knew thanking her would calm her and she wouldn’t feel so bad, she was only helping it was her instinct and showed her comfortablility with him, she didn’t mean to do something usually so intimate.

She slightly calmed before pulling away with a slight frown “I’m so sorry it was inappropriate and I promise I didn’t mean too-“

“Y/nie, it’s okay, stop being sorry” - Jungkook smiled brightly at the girl as her worries slightly eased before they both went on with their time in the park until Jungkook walked her home and had to say goodbye. What neither of them realised is that the wound was right by Jungkooks scent gland so while Y/n cared for the wound, she unintentionally scented him and that would be the centre of attention when he got home.

———————————————————————————

As Jungkook walked through the front door, one of his mates closest to him flew up at the sweet strawberries that flooded in with their youngest mate, Jimin rushed towards Jungkook at the addicting scent and buried his nose in the source, Kook stood confused until Jimin answered his unspoken question

“Y/n scented you?” - At this the rest of the pack flossed in until they could all smell the sweet scent mixed in with Jungkooks fresh linen scent. Jungkook was confused for a slight second before touching the wound on his neck and having a quick realisation hit him, face contorting to one of knowledge. The pack looked at him expectantly, all urging to bury their faces into the sweet scent on their mate, the happy scent.

“We were playing and Y/n accidentally got me with one of her claws and seemed like she couldn’t help it when she started to treat it… you know?” Kook bashfully explained each mate adorning different thoughts and questions

Yoongi stalked towards the bunny and pulled at the collar of Jungkooks shirt to get a better look and running a finger over the wound before grumbling a tired “She did do a good job at treating you” clearly just woken up from a nap but also intrigued, praising you, waking up fully at the scent that hit him when he pushed on Kooks scent gland.

It was then that the boys decided they would have to meet you sooner because this scent that covered Jungkook was making them all a bit swoon, Jimin, being the first to see Kook, decided he would come to the gym with his mate the next day, to meet this Y/n.

———————————————————————————

The next day, as planned, Jimin joined Jungkook in his trip to the gym and as planned, Y/n would arrive about 10 minutes after them, as beautiful as always and Jimin swore his jaw dropped to the floor at the sight of her, he was visibly in awe as she bounced over to Jungkook, waterbottle in hand and immediately wrapped her arms around his neck, initiating a tight hug where she tried to secretly inspect the pierced skin she tried to heal the day before.

Y/n was so happy to see Jungkook she hadn’t even noticed the devilishly beautiful blonde next to him, smirking at the two before smiling softly at her. Her heartbeat sped up and her meek behaviour made a speedy return before Jungkook placed a hand on her lower back

“Y/n this is Jimin, he’s joining me today” he smiled softly at her as Y/n stuttered out a hello like a deer in headlights before taking in his breathtaking features and the white ears and fluffy tail, remembering he is an arctic fox hybrid and immediately being mesmerised by him

“Hi Y/n, it’s so nice to finally meet you, Kookies told us all about you” Jimin tilted his head slightly with his wide smile and slight chuckle at her expression, she was confused because just like with Jungkook, she felt a pull to him which lead to the conclusion in her head that maybe she should be more open quicker, it worked out so well will with Jungkook.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Jungkook told me about you and your other mates too” Y/n let out shyly, looking up at the new figure as she fidgeted with her hands behind her back.

Their meeting was short but Y/n excused herself quickly to go somewhere and while Jimin grew a bit sad, scared he had drove her away, Y/n pushed away her fears and ran to the store outside the gym, buying another water because she realised, she had brought Jungkook one but Jimin might not have one and that’s not fair. So to start their friendship the same way hers and Kooks started, she came back into the gym, nervous again.

She approached the two again and this time stood infront of Jimin, offering the water bottle to him as she bashfully explained that “well I always bring Jungkook one and I didn’t know you were here so I wanted to bring you one too I hope that’s okay-“ her rambling was cut off by the bright smile of her acquaintance, who, being one of the touchiest members of the pack gently held her hand as he thanked her, causing her to grow red and sweetening her scent as she looked away And shyly smiled before quickly making her way back to Sana.

———————————————————————————

When the two returned to the Bangtan house, the pack all swooned at Y/n’s kind antics as she went out of her comfort zone for Jimin and they all quickly realised, there was definitely meant to be more between them all, it was fated, they had to meet her and soon.

Just a quick note, thank you for reading! This is my first fic and honestly hasn’t been proofread so if there’s grammar and spelling mistakes please excuse that, I hope you enjoy it sorry it’s a bit of a slow burn in this chapter but more members will be introduced quickly in the next chapter

Feel free to ask questions !

ཐི♡ཋྀ

#bts #bts x reader #hybrid bts #hybrid #hybrid reader #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts jung hoseok #bts namjoon #bts seokjin #bts jhope #bts yoongi #bts taehyung #bts hybrid au #bts hybrid x reader #bts ff #bts fanfic

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wooahaes · 2 months

Text

feel me

pairing: non-idol!han x gn!reader, some non-idol!felix x gn!reader

genre: angst with a happy ending. slight fluff.

word count: ~21k

warnings: angst with a happy ending. mutual pining that’s fully believed to only be one-sided by both parties. temporary relationship with felix. heartbreak. no communication at one part after jisung ghosts reader for almost three weeks. big brother-figure chris having serious talks with reader. fluff in certain parts, though. food mentions. hyunjin is kinda ready to throw down at one point tbh.

daisy’s notes: title origin from the golden child song bc the lyrics kinda fit haha <3 anyway rewrite of this old thing!! also sorry felix but if u get the sequel fic i'm thinkin of... u will be happy <3

Most people looked at the friendship you had with Chris and assumed that he was your best friend. The two of you had grown up down the road from one another, after all, and that had been why you ended up befriending one another. His family all knew you by name and knew all of your favorites (because Chris had learned them first and made sure everyone knew them), and they all watched you follow Chris around like a duckling when you were small. Pictures of the two of you littered the walls of both your childhood home and his, all from vacations your families had taken together. Plus your parents always made enough food for Chris on any given day, since he always found his way over for dinner at the most random times. If anything, Chris was family to you now, the big brother you never had (and, occasionally when he was being a little overly affectionate, he was your big bother). Before college, Chris Bang was one-hundred-percent your best friend…

Until you met Han Jisung on the first day of freshman orientation.

Sure, the reason you came to this school was partially because you knew you’d have a friend in the area (you liked the literature program a lot more), but things changed the day you met Jisung. The two of you had been a little wary of the other people in your group, all bragging about how they wouldn’t let anyone stop them from the party life they were craving. On one hand, you kind of admired the tenacity that took… but on the other, they were the rowdy bunch out of all the groups that were around. Even though you weren’t much of a party person, your annoyance at the time firmly came from the fact you were sinking so much money into this school—even without the financial aid and scholarships you’d managed to get. Partying was fun, but denying everything in favor of it? You couldn’t wrap your head around it.

And, apparently, neither could Jisung. He’d been separated from his friends, all in the same orientation group without him, and looked a little lost. You quietly moved your chair over to him after you grew annoyed with two people hardcore flirting with one another and ignoring the poor orientation leader who was just trying to tell you all about the general education program. He’d looked up at you, and you introduced yourself to him quietly—trying not to catch the attention of your orientation leader. She was too busy waiting for the novelty of it all to die down for a minute so she could do her job, so… Why not take the chance to introduce yourself to him?

He’d gazed at you for a moment behind his glasses, pushing them up the bridge of his nose a moment later. “Han,” he’d said in a quiet voice. Then he cleared his throat, speaking a little louder, “I’m Han Jisung. Music management and music composition major.”

Already, you were impressed by him. Chris was in the music program himself, and you’d heard about how rigorous it could be at times—especially with the heavy course load that came from both programs. Chris had gone into it because he was… Well, he was Chris. Chris who was on the swim team and in the theater and the band and somehow found time to do community service, too. Jisung was a stranger to you in all the best ways, someone who already intrigued you. When you told him your own major, he had nodded along, no push to question your future career.

“Is that what you like?” He’d asked instead. “Books?”

It was one part of what you liked, at least. You nodded. “Do you love music?”

He’d smiled at you, and it was as if he’d become a different person for a moment. “It’s my passion,” he’d said, voice clear and bolder than before.

That had been what the two of you ended up talking about until your orientation leader managed to get control of the group again. She’d finally been given the go-ahead to give you a tour of campus, and you noticed that Jisung had decided to stick with you near the back of the group. He never said anything then, the two of you opting to listen to your leader instead, but you saw the tiny smile on his face when you were walking through the music floor of the arts building. Once you were released from your schedule for the day, he’d kept glancing at you, as if unsure of what he was about to do. Then he finally stepped up, holding up his phone.

“My friends and I are getting coffee off campus,” he said. “Do you want to come?”

That had been the moment that solidified the two of you as friends. You had happily agreed, exchanging numbers on the way as he told you about his friends. There was Felix, who he said was a sweetheart. Everyone loved Felix, and you’d eventually realize in time just how true that was. Hyunjin could be charismatic, although sometimes he could be a little sharp-tongued with people. Apparently, he and Jisung once hated each other before getting over their school rivalry—you’d never understand it, but everyone swore by it. And then there was Seungmin, who was witty and funny in all the best ways. The group seemed to accept you into their circle pretty quickly, and you honestly contributed that to Jisung…

Who you very quickly learned was incredibly funny in his own right. With the orientation group and with you alone, he’d been quieter. Polite and sweet as he could be. Yet you saw the way he loosened up over time when with his friends, genuinely funny and a bit louder with them. Maybe that was why you would end up clicking with him so well: he was versatile, conscious of the mood and finding a way to fit it well. You saw the way he seemed to naturally return to a quieter state when on his own, and you were happy to match that energy any day.

When you returned to your dorm that day, Chris had been waiting for you. He’d watched you part ways with your new friends and decided to celebrate by squeezing the life out of you.

“You’re making friends!” He giggled, and it suddenly reminded you of the loving way your step-mom always treated you. He swayed with you, never letting you go. “You’re growing up!”

This was definitely something he was reporting to your parents. Not that you cared: his family asked for you to look out for him, too, and you fully intended to follow through on the request. He’d already been giddy when you showed him your acceptance letter and announced you’d picked the school (he’d nearly squeezed the life out of you that day, too), gushing about how he’d have to introduce you to Minho and Changbin. That was why he’d been waiting for you that day, actually: the four of you were getting dinner together, Chris’s treat. The two of you had decided to call off any embarrassing stories (both of you had plenty of ammunition, the same way that both of his siblings had even more on you both), and you’d spent that dinner realizing just how much love you had for Chris.

That was why you had agreed to live with him come sophomore year. Regardless of whether he was being a brother figure or a bother figure, you’d agreed quickly when he gave you his clearly premeditated offer of taking the open room in his apartment. His old roommate had just moved out, and Chris apparently told him he “already had someone interested” when he brought the topic up to begin with. So he helped you carry your boxes into the apartment and the two of you enjoyed your takeout that night, giddy to be close once again. He’d invited Minho and Changbin over that night, too, to toast to your first day of living with Chris. It was at that point that you decided to introduce Jisung to them, inviting him over, too.

Things came together from there. Minho recognized Jisung from a photo that Felix had shown him while he (and Hyunjin) were sitting around before dance practice started. Seungmin ended up getting pulled into the group through association with the rest of you, and it was you and Seungmin who pulled Jeongin into this circle. He’d been in your general education classes, and he seemed to get along pretty well with Seungmin. Seungmin introduced you to Jeongin, and you introduced Jeongin to the group, and everyone seemed to fit together in this sweet way. Even with all of you having friends of your own, you always seemed to come back to one another when times were rough.

By some stroke of luck, Hyunjin and Seungmin ended up moving in a few doors down from you and Chris. Despite Seungmin’s very vocal complaints (always made with love… you were pretty sure, at least), both of them seemed glad to have familiar faces nearby. The two always seemed to drop in when Chris was making dinner, always telling some story about their own lives. You realized that your stories almost always had Jisung and Felix in them after Seungmin pointed it out to you one night.

When did you start spending so much time with Felix? Jisung was naturally there because he was your best friend (officially now: the two of you had matching beaded bracelets you’d made for one another just to rub it in). But Felix…

Chris had picked up on how quiet you’d grown that night. But he waited to bring the topic up until one Saturday when the two of you were alone. He’d passed you the bowl of popcorn he’d made once before throwing himself onto the other end of the couch. “So. You and Felix...”

You rolled your eyes. Your love life had always been pretty off-limits as a topic to anyone but Chris, and he was fully going to take advantage of that, wasn’t he? He’d given you a few much-needed days to figure out how you felt, and they were… Well, far from platonic. Felix was sweet as he could be, and you’d become so, so endeared to him when he started showing up to your apartment with baked goods. Everyone loved Felix, and you weren’t sure when your love for Felix became more than what it was before. Long before senior year, that was certain: every time you tried to pinpoint a beginning, you found yourself moving it further and further back to something else he’d done.

“I’m just curious!” Chris chuckled. “You always deny feeling anything for Jisung—I should have known it was Felix the entire time!”

Despite having the urge to, you didn’t roll your eyes that time. Your feelings for Jisung weren’t important. Not when he was your best friend, and having them would jeopardize that. Han Jisung did not love you the way you’d begun to love him, and you were more than happy to ignore that crush. It’d go away eventually once you stopped fantasizing about what a relationship with him would look like. And if it didn’t… Well, you’d figure that out when you came to it.

“You should go for it,” Chris said, shifting so he was slightly closer to you. “Felix is a good kid! He’s nothing like the last guy you dated—”

Oh, not this shit again. There was a reason you hadn’t dated in a while, and Chris was too aware of it. He’d been ready to get into a fist fight and call your friends as back-up. “Christopher—”

He ignored the use of your birth name, “I mean it. That guy was gross, and you deserve better than someone who thinks you should move in with them after a few weeks because living with a guy you aren’t dating is ‘weird.’”

That had only been part of the reason you dumped the guy. You’d never told Chris any other parts because you knew what he’d say. Your ex hated Jisung because of how close the two of you were, and you weren’t going to date some insecure loser who thought he could control who you hung out with. He’d always been “fine” with the rest of your friends (begrudgingly so), but he’d targeted Jisung for some reason. Jisung was always too close to you, or he was too soft when around other people, or he was “obviously” in love with you and you were too blind to see it. If you’d let him take Jisung out of your life, you knew he’d eventually move on to someone else. It’d be Jeongin, and then Felix, and then Hyunjin… It had taken a while for you to realize it and accept it, but it was just a gateway for him to control you and your life. When you ended things with him, you told him he needed to grow the fuck up because you’d never ask him to do the things he was pressuring you to do.

When you told Jisung that same day that you broke up with him, he’d watched you curiously for a minute. When you didn’t cry or say anything further, he smiled at you and asked if you wanted to celebrate. Jisung had treated you out for dinner that night, telling you about how he’d always thought you could do better. That guy hadn’t respected you enough to trust you, and all he could do was hope that he would eventually change for the better. It wasn’t your job to fix him, after all. You’d only left out the part where he said Jisung was in love with you: he didn’t need to know that, and you didn’t need to hear him laugh it off as the joke that it was.

“I mean it.” Chris had moved closer to you when you never spoke up again, one hand squeezing your shoulder. “Felix is like a little brother to me. I think if you want to ask him out… The two of you would work well together.”

Maybe he had a point. But… “I thought I was your sibling.”

He rolled his eyes, moving back into his spot at the end of the couch. “Ask Jisung for help. You said they’ve known each other since high school, right?”

They have. They ended up rooming together their freshman year, and you’d almost always be spending at least a little time with Felix whenever you went to spend time with Jisung. He’d always be studying or on his way out, but he always made a point of hanging back just long enough to say hi to you and chat for a moment. Chris had a point, then. If anyone could help you, it would probably be Jisung.

(You wouldn’t know that Chris regretted the suggestion once he saw the way Jisung looked at you. He’d held his feelings to his chest for three years, and the mask slipped once when he thought no one was looking. The soft way he smiled at you, the tender look in his eyes when he heard you laugh… Chris would have taken the moment back if he could.)

Which was why you ended up in the MinSung apartment a few days later, sitting in Jisung’s computer chair. When you asked him for help, he’d agreed all too easily, saying something about how Felix did keep calling you cute. While he claimed to not know for sure (which you suspected was a lie), he’d been up front with you when he said he thought Felix might feel something toward you. Feelings in their vaguest form, but still something to give you genuine hope.

Minho had waited until you left to step into the doorway of Jisung’s room. “You’re an idiot.”

Minho was the only person Jisung admitted his feelings about you to. He’d already picked up on it long ago, seeing the looks that everyone else seemed to not notice, and outright asked him about it. He never understood how no one, outside of himself, knew about the affection Jisung harbored for you. He’d never been all that subtle about it in Minho’s eyes, always so lovingly doting on you. He saw the way you clearly cared for Jisung, too. When he’d quietly asked Chris once whether you felt something for Jisung, he’d said you denied it every time. But while Minho had his dumb moments… He knew you were lying. You had the same loving look on your face whenever you looked at Jisung, dreamy-eyed and oh-so-tender when you engaged with him. You gave Jisung a safe place to hide when his anxiety was too much, always willing to leave with him and get him the space he needed.

Surprisingly, Hyunjin called him the next morning, just to tell him the same thing Minho had said: you’re an idiot. Hyunjin always somehow seemed to pick up on Jisung’s feelings, too, but eventually believed him after he denied it enough times. You were Jisung’s best friend: was it really fair for him to love you so much when all you ever saw him as was a friend?

It wasn’t. So he told Hyunjin to mind his business, causing the short-lived spat that the rest of the group heard about in the vaguest terms. Hyunjin had argued with him about it, saying that pushing you toward Felix was cruel to everyone involved. Jisung knew Felix liked you, though, and now he knew that you liked Felix. If Jisung was the only person to get hurt, he could live with it. Maybe he’d turn it into a song if he really needed to. It took a few days, but Hyunjin finally agreed to keep his mouth shut now that he’d spoken to Felix and confirmed that Felix genuinely did like you as more than a friend. If Jisung knew that you were genuine, then Hyunjin could live with it as long as Jisung took care of himself.

It wasn’t your fault that Jisung had fallen in love with you. He agreed to Hyunjin’s terms, and decided that he could live with the heartbreak if you were happy with Felix. Felix was a good person, always so loving and warm. He would treat you the way you deserved, loving you openly and affectionately. All it would cost Jisung was one heartbreak in exchange for your happiness.

And for you? He would do it without hesitation.

One month into the semester, Jisung had already done a few things for you. Jisung went out of his way to ensure that you and Felix would sit together when given the chance, casually finding ways to move next to Hyunjin every time. A few weeks later, he’d casually dropped the fact that you were wanting to get into gaming more when the group was together, and you’d been confused until you saw the way Felix lit up at the topic. He’d immediately offered to let you join him and his friends, talking about free MMOs that you could play. All too easily, you managed to make conversation with him, talking about how you lacked experience with stuff like that… but you did have a Stardew Valley farm with Chris that the two of you worked on whenever you both had free time.

“Oh, really?” His eyes had been twinkling, head resting in his hand. “Maybe we could make a farm together.”

All too easily, he’d given you butterflies. “I’d like that,” you said, heart racing ever-so-slightly now.

“Actually…” He averted his gaze for a moment, his pretty freckled cheeks turning red. “Our show is opening in a few weeks. If you want…” He paused, looking up to realize the others were still there, “I’d, um, I’d like it if all of you could come. I can reserve a couple tickets for opening night, but…”

You’d agreed, already planning to make sure your schedule was clear that day. The group had always planned to come support Felix on one of those nights, guaranteeing that he’d have his own section clapping loudly for him once he was taking his bow… but that quickly turned into something that would happen on a later night. You’d taken Felix up on the offer for an opening night ticket, and managed to convince Jisung to come with you. If Jisung was with you, you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself… and Jisung agreed, saying he’d watch the show twice to come with the others later. You had work the other day, after all: it all worked out in a way, right?

Right. Which was why he was standing in a flower shop with you, looking at premade bouquets. For the past five minutes, you’d been debating between a bouquet of sunflowers and yellow roses, frowning to yourself as you tried to pick which one best suited Felix. Jisung found himself staring at pale pink peonies. He’d looked up flower meanings once when thinking about you. If he was going to confess, he would have bought you a bouquet. Pink peonies meant something like deep appreciation, and he could easily spin it into his appreciation for you as his best friend. Would he ever be able to face you and not feel his heart flutter? Maybe one day he would, if he was lucky.

When he looked at you again, you were still deep in thought. He could hear you mumbling to yourself. Roses were too forward, too strong to be just a ‘friend’ thing—even if you were trying to impress Felix. And sunflowers felt… A little cliche knowing Felix. Everyone gave Felix sunflowers on his birthday if they were going to give him flowers. Jisung looked at the other bouquets, only to find one of yellow tulips. You looked up as he approached you with them in hand, the shyest smile on his face.

“You said you wanted to give Felix something pretty, so…” He held them up. “If roses feel too strong… Then why not these?” The paper crinkled underneath his grasp, and his heart was racing even now. This wasn’t meant to be romantic, so why couldn’t he calm down?

You’d lit up, accepting the bouquet with him. He felt the way your fingers brushed against his own when you accepted them, looking down at them. “Do you think he’ll like them”

“He’ll love anything you give him,” Jisung said, gaze softening. If it was from you, it’d be special. His hands rested over your own for a minute, and you met his gaze after a moment. “Hey… Would I lie to you?”

Other people might have. Some people might have tried to sabotage their best friend’s happiness, but Jisung could never do that to you. Not when you meant so much to him. He loved you too much to do anything that might hurt you, that would destroy your happiness. Even if he didn’t love you, you were still his best friend, and that meant he needed to treat you like one. Best friends didn’t destroy best friends like that.

“No,” you said, drawing the bouquet back. You smiled at it again. “Thanks, Jisung. If you wanna wait outside, you can. I’m gonna see if they can put a little ribbon around it when I pay—make it look cuter, y’know?”

His heart leapt at the idea. Of course you’d be cute like this. He wished that it could be him that you were buying flowers for, but he’d accept getting to see you this happy. “I’ll be waiting.”

The bell above the door jingled as he left the shop, taking a few steps away before leaning against the brick wall. With a sigh, he let his shoulders slump. This shouldn’t hurt so much, but the ache in his chest seemed to show no sign of going away. He could put aside his feelings for you, though, if it meant he could see you smile. The soft look in your eyes when he reassured you only made him feel more complicated inside. You weren’t his to give away, so why did it feel like he was losing a part of himself the more he went along with this plan? In the back of his head, a little voice kept telling him to find an excuse to go back to his apartment. A forgotten assignment that he’d overlooked, or reading he needed to do for class… But that meant abandoning you, even though Felix really wanted you to come see him tonight. Not Jisung. Jisung was coming to see him in a few days, so why bother staying?

Again, the bell chimed, and out you stepped, bouquet in hand. The brown paper that once had been wrapped around the flowers was exchanged for white tissue paper, all bound together with a bright, sparkly gold ribbon. It would fit Felix perfectly, all sunshine-y and pretty, and it was only now that Jisung realized you were wearing blue. Felix’s favorite color. Why hadn’t he noticed that before? If you were in red, then Jisung would have noticed right away, wouldn’t he? His mind wandered for a moment: would you have bought flowers for him if you were coming to see him perform? Hell, would you come alone to see him perform next semester? He had to perform solo as part of his degree plans—would you wait to come with the others, or would you be there every night if you could…? Instead, he just gently reminded you to loosen up your grip on the bouquet before you broke the stems.

“What if he hates them?” Your leg had been bouncing nervously the entire bus ride back to campus.

Jisung just gently pat your arm. “He won’t,” he said, voice as soft as it was in the flower shop. “It’s Felix. I don’t think he’d ever hate anyone for bringing him a gift. Do you?”

That seemed to get through to you, and the tension in your shoulders eased up considerably. A moment later, you nodded, meeting his gaze. “Right…” And then you leaned against him, completely unaware that his heart was now racing all over again. “Sorry. I’m just… I’m nervous, I guess.”

Jisung could tell. Everything about you now pointed to this need for tonight to go right. The fact you were not only wearing Felix’s favorite color, but also the way you had dressed up a little nicer, just to make an effort for him. The way you were fretting over the flowers still, even now (Jisung could see the way you kept looking at them and readjusting your hands, all too conscious now that you might break the stems). He’d have to be ignoring you completely to not see the way your leg had been bouncing before, or the way you kept toying with your sleeve, or the way you kept checking the time even though you both left extremely early to get to the shop.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he said, leaning his head against your own. “You’ll be fine.”

Despite the way he still wanted to go home, Jisung stuck by you the entire time. You needed him there to calm you, the way he depended on you sometimes, and he wouldn’t leave you to flounder. The two of you found seats a few rows back from the stage, settling in for whenever the show would begin. Jisung could see Chris sitting in the front row, beaming with pride at the whole affair. That was the nice thing about Chris: he always made a point of coming back to help wherever he could, including with productions like this. Plus, he was always there to support everyone, especially his friends. Dance showcases, theatrical performances, the art exhibits that Hyunjin’s pieces and Seungmin’s photography ended up in… Chris was there, always happy to congratulate on a job well done. Jisung didn’t need to be sitting next to him to see the way he glowed with pride every time Felix was on stage.

When the show was over, Jisung watched as you gravitated near the door the actors would eventually emerge from. He’d already passed the responsibility of congratulating Felix onto you for now (he’d tell him later) as he searched for where Chris had disappeared to in the crowd. Most likely, he’d disappeared into the back to go talk to the actors. Two years out of school, and Chris never seemed to care about the fact he wasn’t technically a part of the department anymore. Jisung admired his confidence, at least: it always felt like a line he shouldn’t cross, even though Felix always said his friends were welcome.

He’d decided to take refuge in the bathroom instead, just to calm himself down. Chris would come back out soon when the actors did, meaning Jisung could talk to him then. He’d started to fiddle with little things as he stared at himself in the mirror: fixing a stray hair that never seemed to stay in place, adjusting the collar of his shirt, checking to see how puffy his face was… All little things that he could pick himself apart for if he felt like it, and his mind kept straying to it rather than how happy you seemed to be. He saw how engrossed in Felix’s performance you were. Maybe he should leave to spare himself from seeing this any further. He’d done his part, hadn’t he? You would understand.

Except he didn’t leave, because Jisung was still your best friend. You wouldn’t abandon him now, so he had to do the same for you. The moment he stepped back into the theater, he saw the way you were beaming at Felix. He’d finally emerged, dressed casually again, and was happily talking to you while holding the bouquet. All he needed to do was look at Felix to know that he was smitten from the way he was smiling at you. Okay. He could deal with this. All he needed to do was find Chris and maybe he could manage.

But all it took was you looking up and waving Jisung over for him to cave, already drawn toward you like a magnet. He couldn’t just leave. Not when you were smiling at him like that. Jisung ended up rattling off some praise for Felix (genuine, because he wouldn’t half-heartedly give him praise just because you liked Felix and not him), and Felix had blushed over it. His gaze fell down to the flowers in his hands, and Felix smiled again.

“Aren’t they sweet?” The tissue paper rustled in Felix’s grasp, and he swayed toward you ever-so-slightly. “They’re so sweet.”

Jisung didn’t say that he was with you when you bought them, that he’d been the one to push them to you. “They have a really good eye for these things,” he said instead. “They fit you perfectly.”

“I know!” Felix looked up, beaming with pure joy. “They’ve never given a bad present before. I don’t really know how they do it.”

Jisung did. You kept a running list in your notes app of things that people said they liked, or things they said they wanted, or things that they needed that you constantly updated. Plus, you made a point to subtly ask about things close to holidays and birthdays, too. All the things you needed to give a good gift that people wanted and would appreciate. The only other person who knew about this was Chris, and that was because he’d caught you editing it. Even if Jisung hadn’t given you the tulips, he knew Felix would have loved the sunflowers or the roses.

“I think I saw Chris,” Jisung said after a moment of seeing the (admittedly cute) way you and Felix kept glancing at each other. He started to move away, “I’m gonna go say hi.”

“Oh, I can come too!” You were flustered, all too aware of how much of Felix’s time you’d taken for yourself. “I mean, I’m sure Felix is tired of me hogging him, y’know?”

“It’s fine,” Felix said, smiling still. “I like talking to you.”

While his attention was still on you, Jisung made a point to nod toward Felix. Stay right there. He knew you wanted to talk to Felix, after all. You’d relaxed a moment later, planting yourself right where you were as you turned back to Felix. He’d already begun asking you something about an MMO he’d gotten you into, and Jisung turned tail to make his way to Chris.

Jisung ended up leaving the arts building before you ever did, stepping out into the chilly night air. Chris was there to give you a ride home, after all: you didn’t need to ride the bus to Jisung’s apartment and then back to your own in the way you always insisted on doing. Chris had offered to drive him home, but Jisung waved him off. He needed the alone time to think, and the bus ride that took him home was the perfect time for it. He’d already begun writing lyrics in the notes app on his phone half-way there, and soon enough he’d put them into ink in his songwriting notebook. Just to get those feelings down while the wound was fresh and oozing ink.

You’d texted him that night to say that you were getting lunch with Felix that week. He had other shows most nights, but he’d make time for lunch with you anytime. He’d wondered for a moment until you finally said the magic word: Felix could do ‘evening dates’ with you another time. Yet you still texted him a moment later, asking if Felix meant date dates. All Jisung could say was that it might: he wasn’t Felix. He couldn’t tell you yes.

All he could tell you was that he was genuinely happy for you, even though the emotion never reached him in that moment.

When he woke up the next morning, he’d realized he fell asleep at his desk. His spine was aching at this point, and he realized that there was ink smudged on his hand and his cheek. He’d written down messy, clumsy lyrics that were nowhere near as good as he could make them. Jisung glanced over them again and again. The ink had smudged on the page, which meant he should copy them over to a fresh one after he showered. The melody would come to him while he washed off his regret anyway.

All of it was sloppy in the way a work in progress often was. But he had time to write it better.

A week later, you had curled up on Jisung’s bed while you were waiting for him to finish an assignment. The two of you had plans to go out to dinner, and you always ended up showing up a little too early. It never bothered Jisung, who was currently hard at work on a composition due for class soon. You admired him for a moment as he bobbed his head along to whatever he was working on, lips pressed tightly together in concentration. He’d already told you he wasn’t going to finish it tonight—but he just wanted a little more progress before he went anywhere with you. Which just left you to scroll through YouTube idly, eyeing the videos of ducks that kept popping onto your feed. All it took was one video from Felix for you to fall down this rabbit hole, and you were honestly fine with that. He made you happy.

Absent-mindedly, you started to reach toward Jisung’s desk. He always kept a stack of sticky notes on it, and you were hoping to blindly snag it without bothering Jisung. Yet he glanced up for half a second before pushing the cube over to you, offering a pen out to you without a word. You accepted it, thanking him out loud even though he was still entranced with whatever song he was working on. He hadn’t shared any of this one with you yet, but you weren’t going to push. He would show it to you when he was good and ready, and if he didn’t, then you just assumed it’d be more personal. All you did was roll onto your stomach, leaving your phone next to you as you began to doodle on the sticky notes. Jisung sometimes kept your silly little doodles, sticking them to his monitor before eventually throwing them out. There was still a pink one stuck to the corner of his screen with a little puppy on it, surrounded by little flowers. You’d started drawing tulips on this new sticky note without thinking, followed by other flowers that you remembered seeing in that shop.

Jisung pulled the headphones off his head, looking over at you. He was wearing glasses again today—a rare sight since he started wearing contacts—and the monitor reflected in them. “Sorry,” he said, watching you doodle for a moment longer. “I’m almost done, I promise.”

“It’s okay,” you didn’t look up, humming to yourself as you kept drawing. “Take your time. I don’t mind waiting.”

(When other people said such things, jisung always felt a little on edge. Did they really mean it, or were they just pacifying him? But when you did it, he never had to doubt you. You always gave him this little reassuring smile. You meant it, and that was something else he loved about you.)

“I mean it,” you said, just like you always did to try and reassure him further. “I’ll be right here when you’re done, okay?”

Sometimes that promise would end in you falling asleep on his bed, always after you had a particularly long or rough day. He never woke you up: he’d just pulled a blanket over you and went to sleep on the couch for the night. He always made it up to you by buying breakfast that following morning. You did the same for him, after all.

Jisung replaced his headphones, but left one side off so he could hear you. A clear sign that he was open to conversation now, less focused on the work at hand. His way of winding down without dropping the project entirely. “How,” he said, and then paused for just a second as he clicked something else, “was lunch with Felix?”

The heat traveled to your face immediately, and you averted your gaze. “It was nice.”

“Oh?” He swayed a little, turning his chair slightly. “So no wedding yet? I was practicing to be the flower girl, you know.”

You flipped him off, and he snorted.

“I wouldn’t make a good one?” He faked offense. “I think I’d be cute.”

“The cutest,” you rolled your eyes, yet still found yourself smiling. “Are you gonna show me the song you’re working on, or is this one another mystery?”

Jisung turned toward his computer again, not quite looking at you anymore. “It’s not ready yet.”

You looked up at him, the way he sounded a little distant piquing your curiosity. It wasn’t ready yet…? You shrugged it off. What reason would Jisung have to lie to you…? Maybe he didn’t want your opinions this time around. There was nothing wrong with that, to be fair: Chris and Changbin were both better for musical analysis. But he’d always valued your opinions on something that was so important to him, and you always tried to pay attention to his lyricism and compliment him where you could.

Yet you doodled a little rose in the corner of the note. “Okay,” you dragged out the word, rolling onto your side after a moment, just to face him for a second. “If you ever want to show me, I’ll be happy to listen.”

“I’ll let you know if I need you.” A moment later, he met your eyes and smiled—just to reassure you that he was fine.

With said reassurance, you returned to lying on your stomach and doodling. You stuck the sticky note with flowers onto the side of his desk, and started doodling paw prints and hearts onto the new note. “I think we should go out.”

“Huh?!”

Immediately, your heart leapt into your throat. Fuck, that’s not what you meant—why did he have to sound so bothered by it?! Was dating you really such a weird idea…? You just prayed he couldn’t see how flustered you’d become, tugging at the collar of your shirt. When did your skin start burning…? “Felix told me about this nice restaurant and I figured we could go scope it out,” you said quickly. At least this wasn’t a lie or anything: Felix did send you the name of a nice place for a future date.

“Shouldn’t you check it out with him?”

You rolled your eyes. “You know how I am.”

Maybe it was silly, but you had this thing about scoping places out if you knew where someone was taking you. You did the same thing whenever your family was in the area and wanted to check something new out, just so you knew that there was something on the menu that you’d like. If someone else was treating you, you always felt guilty if you didn’t like what they were paying for. Jisung asked you once why you didn’t just look up the menu online and pick from there.

You had looked at him that day. “Jisung. What if they don’t make it good? What if they add extra stuff I don’t like and it’s gross after I ask them to take it off?” You frowned, hugging yourself. “Then I feel bad for wasting my money, or my date’s money, or my parents' money…”

He hadn’t questioned you on it further and offered to be your test-date if you needed him. He’d never judge your taste, after all. If he was busy, you’d just drag Chris into going wherever with you—always offering to pay for him even though he had the better job out of the two of you. It was nice to go out with Jisung, though. He always seemed to know what you were going to pick off of the menu, the same way you knew his tastes. Speaking of…

“Jisungie?” You smiled at him, ready to sweeten the deal in a way he couldn’t refuse. “I’ll buy you cheesecake after.”

Immediately, you saw the way he pressed his lips together. You knew one of the ways to his heart and it was always through something sweet like cheesecake. A moment later, he melted, smiling as he turned back to save what he was working on. You left the sticky notes on his desk and hopped up, announcing you’d be waiting for him and made your way out. Minho had been curled up on the couch with a book, glancing up when you came in.

“Jisung and I are going to get dinner. Are you coming?”

Minho glanced over to where Jisung had emerged from his room, then shook his head. “I already ate.”

Whatever. The two of you would have fun on your own, then. Through the power of digital maps and following directions, you and Jisung managed to find the place easily enough. The two of you ended up seated in the corner, ordering quickly enough before you were left alone. With a sigh, you’d begun to swirl your straw in your drink, mind wandering a bit. Your date with Felix had been nice, but you always felt so fluttery with him. Being around Jisung was… easier. You didn’t feel the need to force any conversation with him, the two of you were content to have a minute of quiet if that was what you both needed. It was a weird change to feel around him, to be honest. In the past, being around Felix was always easy. Now that you knew he liked you back… It was different. You couldn’t help but wonder if things would be different if Jisung liked you back, if this were a date. Then you pushed the thought away: you needed to stop thinking things like that.

“What’s on your mind?” Jisung had peeked up at you from where he was scrolling through social media on his phone, frowning a little.

With a sigh, you knew he’d pick up on your mood. “I feel like I’m gonna turn into one of those people who only talks about dating.” You fiddled with the sleeve of your sweater—your favorite color this time. “But…”

“I’m listening,” he said. “Is everything okay?”

Why did he have to look at you so earnestly? Jisung had the prettiest eyes, especially when they looked so shiny—like boba pearls, someone once said. You nodded a moment later. “Just… I dunno. I like Felix, but I keep getting nervous with him.” You tapped your toes against the floor, a little restless already. “I mean… I know he likes me, but… I dunno. We haven’t kissed or anything.”

“Has he said anything?” Jisung ran a hand through his hair, fluffing it effortlessly. How the hell did he always do that…? “What are you two doing next?”

“We were gonna see a movie and then get food here,” you paused, looking up from where you’d started staring at your hands. “And maybe dessert, if he’s interested.”

“Was it your idea or his?”

“His, but—”

“Then I think you’re overthinking it,” Jisung said gently. “I think…” He trailed off for a moment, and then cleared his throat. “I think he likes you because you’re you. And… And, um,” he glanced down for just a second, “and if anyone doesn’t like you, then… I don’t think they deserve you.”

Your heart skipped a beat. How was he so sweet? He seemed so nervous now, the way he always seemed to get when he was a little more sentimental with you. Like he was treading lightly, so as to not say the wrong thing. You’d told him once that there was nothing he could say that would upset you, and so far that still rang true. You had your fair share of disagreements over the years, but Jisung was your best friend. If you had soulmates in this life, then Jisung was one of them. “Jisung…”

He just silently watched you for a moment, gauging your reaction as he carefully tried to find any signs that he’d slipped up.

You just buried your face in your hands a moment late, skin burning hot already. He’d melted your heart all too easily, dooming you to pine for him forever. No matter how far you went from him, no matter if you moved on, Jisung eternally had a piece of your heart and he didn’t even know it. Finally, you found the strength to speak, voice small: “I don’t deserve you.”

Your date with Felix was going well. The movie was fun, and dinner went great (especially going in knowing that you already liked some of the menu). He’d been gushing about video games and the movie, and now he was talking about a new recipe he was workshopping. His fingers were intertwined with yours as you walked aimlessly, no plan in place for where you were going next. You liked how warm Felix’s hands were, and the way he would run his thumb over your hand—just a tender little way of showing he was still there with you.

“Maybe… I could bake with you sometime?” You squeezed his hand a little. “If you want an assistant.”

He lit up at the suggestion, already beaming again with joy. “I’d love that! I could teach you whatever you don’t know.” He paused, cheeks flushing red. “I think… you’d be a cute assistant, too.”

Your heart leapt into your throat at that, face growing warmer at the thought. Felix was always so cute, so affectionate, and the way he giggled at your flustered face only made you more embarrassed. Yet your mind had started to drift to the walk you’d taken with Jisung after dinner that night, heading toward your usual place for dessert….

Only to be jostled from your thoughts as Felix’s shoulder bumped against yours, getting your attention back with ease. “You okay?” He paused, and then smiled as he squeezed your hand. “You wanna get ice cream?”

Ice cream sounded perfect. You’d been wanting to bring up dessert, but you weren’t sure if he had room for it after dinner and splitting popcorn with you earlier. Then your mind turned to the brownies you’d had with Jisung… “Actually… There’s this place I go sometimes—”

“With Jisung?” Felix asked. He didn’t seem jealous or bothered in the slightest. “I’ve actually been wanting to go there with you.”

You slowed to a stop. “You have?”

He nodded. “Yeah, but… I dunno. I guess I started thinking I was overstepping since that place was always you and Jisung. You guys always take us somewhere else if we’re all going, so…”

What?

Felix shrugged, and started walking again. You fell into step with him. He continued on after a moment, “You two are really close. I mean… I’ve been places with my friends that I haven’t gone with you all, y’know? Maybe we keep stuff for our friends sometimes.”

The shop had always been a place for you and Jisung, sure, but neither of you ever intended for it to be exclusively for you two. Minho had gone with the two of you once or twice, and so had Chris. Now that you were thinking about it, this place wasn’t even the place you two used to frequent. That place closed down a little over a year ago, and you’d found this place shortly after that. The two of you had gotten a to-go order that first time to try in his apartment and fell in love with the dessert there.

“It’s not our place,” you said after a moment. “If you want ice cream, we can get ice cream instead. I just started thinking about their brownies—”

Felix was already intrigued. “Do you wanna go?” He squeezed your hand a little, giddy at the idea. “We can split one, if you want?”

Perfect. “I’d love that,” you giggled. “They’re huge and they put a scoop of vanilla on top and drizzle it with caramel—you’ll love it.”

And he did: he fed you the first bite, just to be cheesy. His eyes always seemed to twinkle when he looked at you, so thoroughly endeared to you day after day. He’d hummed in bliss at his own first bite of the dessert before talking about how the salted caramel complimented the sweetness of the vanilla ice cream and the slight bitterness of whatever dark chocolate was in the brownie. It all came together beautifully, and all you could do was admire how pretty Felix was. He’d held your hand again after the two of you left, and held on tight for the entire walk home.

“May I…?”

You turned your cheek to him, and he pressed a kiss against it. His lips were soft against your cheek, lingering there for a few extra seconds before he drew away. He’d already started talking about planning your next date soon, leaving it there. He took a few steps back, waiting until you unlocked the door to your apartment before he waved and made his way in the opposite direction. You retreated into your apartment with the sappiest smile on your face, already on cloud nine. In the sanctuary of your apartment, you buried your face in your hands, trying to ignore how heavily your heart was thumping in your ears.

“Someone had a good time.”

Chris had stood near the entryway, two glasses in his hands. He must have been on his way back to the living room, and you waved him on as you slipped out of your shoes and into your house slippers. Right as you were ready to tell Chris a little about how your date had gone, you spotted Changbin on the couch. With a polite way, you decided to hold off. Chris could wait to hear things tomorrow, and you told him that as you made your way toward your room.

“Did he walk you back?” Chris called out, and you hung back long enough to nod. “You could have invited him in for a minute—”

“Oh, fuck no.” You loved Chris, and maybe it would have been polite, but he had too much dirt on you. The fact you’d managed to be friends with everyone this long without having all your embarrassing stories spilled was a miracle in itself. “I love you, but I don’t need you to embarrass both of us, Chris.”

Chris only burst into giggles, knowing that you were right and that Felix would have agreed with you in a heartbeat. “I wouldn’t do it too bad!”

Big brother energy. Big bother energy, too. You opened your bedroom door. “You absolutely would,” you called back. “Love you!”

Yet it was right as you were closing the door that you heard Changbin speak up, clearly not intending for you to hear: “I thought they were…” Then a pause, just for a second. “... What about Jisung?”

You shut your bedroom door as quietly as you could, praying that no one noticed you’d caught that. You pressed your back against it for a minute, wondering where you had slipped up. Were you that obvious? Did everyone but Jisung know that you liked him and he didn’t like you back? No. No, no one else could know, right? If they knew, they would have said something by now—especially with the fact that you and Felix weren’t hiding the fact you were dating. Speaking of…

You texted him to get home safe, tacking on a yellow heart after it. He attached a little heart to the message soon enough, and you smiled to yourself. He’d text you when he got home, the way he usually did. All you could do now was start getting ready for bed as you let your mind drift back to what Changbin had been saying. If Changbin knew, then there was no telling if he’d accidentally spill it. What if Jisung found out…? He’d look at you differently, wouldn’t he? Especially since you’d asked him to help you get with Felix. What if he connected the dots and figured out that you were dating Felix because you were trying to move on? What if Felix found out and he hated you for it…? A world in which Jisung and Felix hated you was one you didn’t want to live in, and your heart began to race at the thought. Shit. What if…? You wanted to reach for your phone, to call Jisung. But Jisung would ask some questions to help you calm down, and you weren’t sure if you could be vague enough to keep him from finding out.

Instead, you threw yourself into doing research for an essay. The less you thought about it all, the better off you’d be. The only thing that pulled you out of your thoughts was the text that popped up over an hour later from Felix. He’d sent you a picture of himself with a face mask on, dressed and ready for bed, and apologizing that he didn’t text you sooner. It was followed up with a “sleep well 💙we’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?” that left you smiling.

Felix was cute. He was sweet. He liked you, and you liked him. All you needed to do was push past your feelings for Jisung, and things would work out. Letting go was the hardest part of loving someone who wouldn’t love you back, and you needed to learn how to do it.

Maybe Felix could help you learn how to do that by loving you extra loud.

“You’re both slacking, you know!”

Jisung looked up at the sound of your voice carrying across the apartment. Barely milliseconds later, he heard Minho groan at you for pointing out the fact the apartment was a little unkempt. Fuck, you were here sooner than he thought—he’d seen your text over half an hour saying you were coming, but you were ‘taking your time’ for whatever reason. You’d given him a time, and even still he was surprised by how soon you’d showed up.

“I told you to text before you come!”

You’d stopped for a minute to turn to huff at him. “I did!”

“Text me, not just Jisung.” There was no venom in his words, purely Minho ribbing you, but Jisung jolted from his chair. Shit, his room was a mess still. Minho had to know, didn’t he? This was him giving him a chance to tidy before you came in. “He’s been in his room all day, by the way.”

“What?” You hadn’t moved. “Really? Is he behind, or…?”

Yes, keep distracting them, Jisung shoved trash into the small trash can next to his desk—all wrappers from snacks. The sticky notes from his monitor were neatly hidden away in the bottom drawer with all the others you’d left him. Minho was rattling something off about how he knew Jisung had been hard at work, although he’d barely checked on him since he seemed to be focused. He’d tie up the bag and take it out of his room later, after you left. He made up his bed as you asked something about one of Jisung’s classes, to which Minho said a curt “I don’t know, I’m not his mom,” which earned ribbing from you considering how Minho acted like a mom at times. A second later, your voice was a little louder, having stepped closer to his room.

He threw himself back into his chair, pulled his headphones on, and pretended to be hard at work. Don’t notice the fact he’s still panting a little—he was just… running. A marathon. Really. He heard your quick knock, followed by the creak of his bedroom door a moment later. When you waved your hand in front of his face, he pretended to jolt back, pushing his headphones around his neck as he looked up at you.

With a smile, you held up the takeout. “How much do you love me?”

More than you knew. No wonder you told him you weren’t sure you’d be there on time. He accepted the bag, already working to undo the knot. “I don’t deserve you.”

You pulled over the spare chair, pulling it over to his desk. “Minho said you’ve been busy all day. Everything okay?”

He nodded. “Just working on that paper on music history,” he set aside the plastic-wrapped utensils. “It’s due in a few days, but I’m behind on it, so…”

You frowned a little. “Okay, but… Have you eaten today?” When he didn’t move, you’d been given your answer. “Aw, Jisungie…”

“I’ve snacked?”

“That’s not the same thing,” you leaned against his desk. “I guess I came at a good time, then.”

He nodded, pulling the knot undone. He set your food aside. “I think Minho tried to check on me earlier. I don’t really remember.”

It wouldn’t be the first time, and both of you knew that. “Are you gonna share this time?”

He let out a groan. One time he ate all the steamed dumplings, and you’ve never let him live it down. “I always share,” he said, setting the container where both of you could reach it. “Take however many you want.”

“Not those,” you said, before pausing for a moment. “Well, yes those, but…” You pointed your chopsticks toward his computer. “Any of your work. I feel like I haven’t heard any of it this semester.”

“You’re usually with Felix,” he said, voice a little quieter. “I mean… You two are usually going out and doing things, you know?” He hoped you understood him: you couldn’t be around to hear things when you were out with him.

“Not the entire semester,” you frowned again. Then you sighed, balancing your food in your lap. “But you’re right.” Then you paused, brows drawing together. “Wait… Am I spending too much time with Felix?”

Jisung shook his head quickly. “No! No, you two are fine—I just meant—”

You reached out, squeezing his shoulder, “No, Jisung. I’m sorry.”

The way you sounded so genuinely upset only broke his heart a little. He didn’t mean to imply you shouldn’t be spending time with Felix—the two of you were dating after all. “Don’t feel bad about Felix—”

You stopped him there again. “No, I mean… I know we’re dating, but that’s no excuse to ignore you. I don’t want to be the kind of person who dumps their friends entirely, all just because I’m seeing someone. That’s not fair to you.”

His face grew warmer. Had you thought about this before…? You’d always been so conscious of your friendships when dating in the past. Sure, you spent more time with past partners, but he’d never felt neglected. No one did. “You aren’t dumping any of us. It’s okay.”

Yet that didn’t seem to stop you. “We should go out this weekend,” you said. “Like we usually do. I have to work Saturday morning, but my evening is yours.”

His? Jisung ignored the way his heart skipped a beat at that. It didn’t mean anything. “But what about Felix?”

You pressed your lips together. “If he doesn’t understand ‘best friend time,’ then he’s not the one.” You shrugged. “My partner shouldn't stop me from hanging out with friends. I’m never going to date anyone like that. I wouldn’t want anyone to put their life on pause entirely for me, you know?”

Jisung had always loved that about you. You loved your friends wholeheartedly, and you were always so, so loyal to them. In your past relationships, you’d always found time for friends. They understood whenever you prioritized the relationship during that initial phase, sure, but it always just felt… wrong to drop them entirely during that period. You needed to balance your time, after all.

Jisung swallowed his own pain. “How are you two?”

“You don’t want to hear about us.”

“I do,” he insisted. “You don’t have to share anything, but… You’re both still my friends. Jeongin said he saw you two on a date.”

You fumbled with your chopsticks, immediately growing flustered. “Oh my god. Felix kept telling me that he was positive it wasn’t him—I knew it was! Holy shit—”

“He didn’t say anything bad!” Jisung panicked a little, carefully removing your food from your lap before it could get spilled in your movement. He moved his chair over, giving you some of his desk space so you wouldn’t have to use your lap as a table anymore. “All he said was that you two were holding hands and giggling. He said it was sweet.”

You refused to look at Jisung, still too embarrassed to do anything more than push your food around its plate. “He’s… really sweet,” you admitted after a moment. “I dunno how I feel, honestly, and I kinda feel bad about that. He’s nice to talk to, and he’s sweet, but… I dunno. I keep getting worried that I’m leading him on if I’m not all-in already.” Your knee bumped against Jisung’s. “You changed the subject, by the way.”

Shit, you caught him. Jisung just moved the dumplings between the two of you again, trying to distract you. When you gave him a pointed look, he knew you weren’t going to drop it yet. With a sigh, he shrugged. “I’ll show you after I finish one. They aren’t good yet.”

“Bullshit,” you said. “Your works’ always good. Even when it’s a work in progress—I can always tell that you love what you’re doing. I love how devoted you are to it… and to us, y’know.”

Now it was his turn to be embarrassed, always so easily flustered. How did complimenting him come so easily to you?

“You don’t have to share it if you aren’t ready or if you don’t want to,” you said after a moment. “You can tell me that, though. I’ll stop asking.”

Jisung looked up, nodding. “Later,” he promised, running a hand through his hair nervously. “When I’m ready.”

You giggled, squeezing his knee. “That’s all I needed to know,” you said. “I’ll be here for you when you want to share, alright?”

Tell them. The little voice in the back of Jisung’s mind was nagging him again, and all he could do was admire how giddy you were getting over dumplings. He loved how you found joy in little things like this, too. Tell them so they can break your heart and get it over with.

Then something clicked in his mind, something he’d glazed over entirely. “You… might not like Felix?”

You avoided his gaze, as though you were ashamed. There was nothing wrong with not being sure of your feelings, and yet you’d shrunk before him, unsure. “I don’t know. I… I like him, but I’m not sure how far it goes.”

“You should figure it out soon,” he said softly. Regardless of his own feelings for you, Felix was his friend. You clearly were, too. It was unfair if you stopped feeling things and kept seeing him. “Felix is a really good person. If you want to date him, you should be up front about it. He won’t hold it against you if you don’t feel the same, you know? Do what will make you happy.”

You looked up from your food a moment later, a soft look in his eyes. He’d seen you and accepted you without any harsh judgment. Someone else might have told you off for being unsure, but not Jisung. Never Jisung. Feelings were complicated, after all. If you weren’t sure, then you weren’t sure. All you needed was time to figure it out. You wouldn’t drag things out to hurt Felix. You turned, leaning over the side of your chair to wrap your arms around him. He relaxed into your embrace, reaching up a hand to squeeze your arm.

“I’m really glad you’re in my life, Jisung.” You shut your eyes, squeezing him extra tight for a second. “I really, really love you, y’know?”

Why did that feel like a confession? His heart was racing, and he just squeezed you gently. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment as he savored this moment. “Yeah,” he said, praying that you didn’t notice how warm his face was getting, or hear how fast his heart was racing. “Love you, too.”

A moment later, you drew away, hands lingering on his arm for a moment too long. Then you were hit with realization. “Oh!” You drew away from him, “I forgot to get us drinks.” The wheels noisily rolled against the floor as you stood up. “I’ll go see what’s in the fridge, alright?”

Before he could offer to go, you were gone. Jisung watched the door shut behind you, and let out a long sigh as he relaxed into his chair. How long would it take for him to get past this? Every little moment like this with you only made his feelings burrow deeper into his chest. It felt as though he’d hit bedrock and somehow managed to keep digging. Something squeezed in his chest, and he felt as though he was going to suffocate in that moment.

Jisung loved you too much, and now it was starting to hurt even more.

Felix was… Felix. He’d been kind to you from the first day you met him. He was sweet. Sometimes insecure, but most people were, weren’t they? He was warmer than sunshine, though, and you had always felt like you were on top of the world when you were with him. He had that ability to just spread joy in other people, that pretty smile enough to give anyone butterflies—especially when you heard his laugh afterward. He’d always drifted toward others, always ready to give a warm hug when someone needed it (or even just wanted it). Felix was sunshine in human form…

So what changed? He was smiling that cute, smitten smile that he always seemed to have when he was around you. He played with your fingers, talking about his day and asking you about your own. The two of you hadn’t been going out that long, yet those weeks seemed to shift subtly more and more until you were where you were now. The time he first kissed your cheek felt so distant now. He still liked to press little kisses against your cheek, and you often did the same to him, too. So what was wrong with you? His giggle still made your heart flutter, and the cute face he made when he got flustered was still adorable, but…

Chris had paused the movie the two of you were watching one weekend, opting to study you for a moment. You’d been scrolling through your social media feeds, too bored with the stilted leads. They were reciting shitty dialogue written by someone who clearly didn’t know what love was. Then again… What was love like?

“Hey. Can we talk?”

You looked up, confused. When did Chris get so serious…? “What’s wrong?”

“I love you, but…” He let out a sigh. “I just wanted to say that I think you should cut things off with Felix if you aren’t interested.”

What? You never said you weren’t interested. Felix was sweet, and nice, and you felt great when you were around him still. “What?”

“I don’t know—Whenever I look at the two of you now, it looks like you’re always thinking about something.” Chris paused for a moment, and then frowned at you. “You know you can tell me anything, right? I’m still here for you. I just don’t want you and Felix to get hurt.”

You hugged yourself. “I know, I just…”

“Just… Figure it out, yeah?” Chris let out a sigh. “I love you so, so much. And I love Felix, too. When you said you were interested in him, I was really excited for you both, yeah? But, I don’t know, I can’t shake this weird feeling now.” He paused for a moment, eyes searching your own now. “I didn’t push you into this, did I?”

“No! No,” you shook your head, “you didn’t. I was crushing on him for a while.” You drew your knees a little closer to you, shifting into a more comfortable position. “I… I don’t know.”

Maybe you should kiss him. Just to see how it felt.

“I guess…” You trailed off for a moment, hugging your blanket closer to you. “I guess I’m just not sure about anything anymore. I like hanging out with him. And… I like him. I just don’t know how I feel anymore.”

Chris frowned as he watched you. He understood, though: feelings were always complicated in some way, weren’t they? “You should tell him soon once you figure it out.” The way he was being so insistent on it meant someone talked to him. Was it Felix…? Had Felix confided in him? He sat up, reaching for the near-empty bowl of popcorn. He dropped the remote into your lap. “I’m gonna make more popcorn. Find something actually good to watch, yeah?”

“This was your pick, you know.”

He just rustled your hair before moving on. With a new movie picked out, Chris settled into the space next to you rather than his usual spot. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his side as he pressed a kiss onto the top of your head. He’d always given you little kisses like that when you were upset, and the habit never really died. It comforted you even now, reminding you of simpler times. He’d cared for you once when you were a child, rushing to your side when you skinned his knee. Admittedly it was because you’d been chasing after him, but he’d cared for you the same way he did for his siblings. He bandaged your knee, kissing it better the way his parents always did before kissing your forehead. His parents told him that it helped it heal faster. And, sure, the two of you had been dumb kids then, but the kisses now always reminded you that you weren’t going through things alone. Chris was always right there with you, the older brother you never had.

It was sweet. At least you would always have Chris in your corner, right next to Jisung.

Felix kissed you.

The two of you had walked home from dinner that night with your pinkies linked together. You’d grown quieter with each step, listening to Felix as he filled the space with soft conversation until it, too, was drowned in the sounds of the night. The sound of cars driving past, the chirp of crickets, the wind as it kissed your skin. But Felix was right there with you, still tethered to you by your pinkies. Even now, he looked at you so sweetly whenever he caught your eye. He’d fixed your jacket, or brushed a stray strand of hair back from your face. When you were finally back in front of your apartment, he’d asked if he could kiss you. You said yes, and he closed that distance between you. All at once, you knew: Felix wasn’t it.

Maybe there would never be anyone like Jisung for you. But you couldn’t be upset about that. It wasn’t his fault you fell for him somewhere along the way. And now you were standing in front of your apartment, an eternity seeming to pass as Felix kissed you gently. His lips were slightly chapped this time, fingers gently holding your face. One of the neighbors must have opened their door and seen from the way it opened and immediately shut.

A moment later, Felix pulled away since you never actually reciprocated. The hurt in his eyes told you everything: he knew. His hands were still holding your face, thumbs running over the apples of your cheeks. Shit. Fuck, you’d hurt him, all while you were hurting, too. Yet you saw the way he tried to fight back tears, blinking quickly as he took in a shaky breath.

When he spoke, his voice was strained. “This… wasn’t ever going somewhere, was it?”

Even after you’d hurt him, he was still so gentle with you. You wished he were angry with you, or upset, or anything other than the man who was forcing a smile in front of you now. If he yelled at you or started crying, then you could apologize. You could try to fix things. All he did was keep that forced smile as he drew his hands back, letting them fall to his sides again. With the tiniest step back, your worlds seemed to break apart. Why couldn’t he just yell at you? You’d hurt him, and he just… He looked at you like he still thought the world of you.

“That’s okay.” His voice was so much quieter. It was as though his sunlight had been snuffed out. “I had fun.”

“Felix—”

“I mean it,” he said, taking another small step back. “I… I really hope this doesn’t hurt our friendship. I still like talking to you, and—and I like being your friend. And you’re kind-of good at games, so we could, um—we could still use yours if you wanted to play with us, and…”

He was rambling. All you could do was step forward, pulling him into your arms to hug him tight. All too easily, he crumpled into your embrace, holding you tight.

“I’m sorry, Felix.” You hoped he would forgive you someday. Not today. Not too soon, not too easily. You didn’t deserve that. “I should have known sooner.”

He shut his eyes for a moment, taking in another shaky breath before pulling away from you. “It’s okay. You didn’t know.” He paused. “You should head in. I’m sure Chris is worried. I’ll probably get a text from him on my way home. You know how he is—he always worries, and, um, he… worries a lot about if I’m getting home safe, and…”

You punched in your apartment’s code, stepping back into the doorway. You turned to face Felix one last time, heart breaking in your chest. He forced one more smile as he looked at you.

“Goodnight,” he said, voice soft as ever.

You swallowed hard. “Goodnight, Felix. Get home safely.”

And then you shut the door, securing the door as you pressed your forehead against it. You waited, hoping that Felix had taken off as soon as the door was shut before you slammed your fist into it. Chris was out. You hadn’t seen his shoes when you stepped in, his house slippers left in their usual spot. All too quickly, you kicked your shoes off, heading toward your room as you started to strip off your clothes. You just wanted to be in your pajamas, curled up in bed. The heartbreak wasn’t what was hurting you more: it was knowing you’d hurt Felix, and he was going to go home, and he was going to cry because Felix was someone everyone treated with care. He wasn’t fragile, but he was gentler. A softer person. There was a reason why Minho joked with him differently, after all.

At least you were alone now. Chris would have asked questions. Everyone would have, except… You’d picked up your phone, opening it up to Jisung’s contact. Jisung wouldn’t ask questions. Jisung would hold you and let you cry. But he was Felix’s friend first.

All you could do now was send a final text to Felix to get home safely. A little heart popped up next to the message, a sign that he saw it, and you shut your phone off afterward. You dragged yourself to bed, chest heavy and hurting as you pulled your blankets around yourself. Why couldn’t things just be different?

Why couldn’t you just turn your feelings off?

Jisung didn’t speak to you all week.

This wasn’t him getting busy with schoolwork and shutting everyone out to work. Jisung did that with warning to everyone, just so no one worried about him. That was the rule for all of you. Life could be hectic, but no one was to completely shut everyone out without at least some sort of heads up so no one worried too much. Jisung had always been clear with telling you when he needed his space so that you could check in with him occasionally. The one person you needed most right now wasn’t responding to your texts, and that terrified you. He was pissed at you. He had to be, right? You had hurt Felix, and Jisung decided to side with the person he’d known longer. Messaging Minho yielded no answer, too. You had expected Felix to avoid you the way he was now, but even he had been more cordial to you. Sure, he was quieter, but that, again, was something you had expected. He apparently came by one day to see Chris, and you had never known until Chris offhandedly mentioned it.

You had to figure things out, which meant asking everyone separately. Chris had claimed he didn’t know anything about what was wrong with Jisung. He never acted any differently when they interacted, although it was a little more rare nowadays. Minho only responded to tell you that Jisung needed space, but that he wasn’t sure what had happened. Felix had messaged you back to first accept your apology for bothering him and then tell you that he wasn’t sure what happened. No one did. Jeongin seemed clueless that anything had happened, Changbin said he’d see what he could find out (only to come up fruitless in that attempt), and Seungmin had been buried in his own schoolwork. If anyone had known something, it would have been Minho.

Which… admittedly was why you decided to wait outside the dance studio he worked at. He was teaching kids dance now, and it paid well enough that he could support himself. Plus he seemed happy, always getting along well with the kids according to Felix and Hyunjin when they volunteered to help a few times. You knew that he locked up in the evenings because he was the last person out, always taking an hour to himself to practice his own dancing. You listened to the jingle of keys and the loud click of the door, followed by Minho making his way down the steps. He noticed you all too easily, and slowed to a stop.

He shook his head, pocketing his keys. “I’m not telling you anything,” he said, as though he’d been expecting you to track him down. Maybe he did. Minho could have his airheaded moments the way you had your own, but he wasn’t stupid. “How long have you been waiting?”

“Maybe half an hour.” You crossed your arms, shivering a little in the cold. Maybe longer, actually. “I just want to know what’s going on with Jisung. I’m worried, Minho—he hasn’t said anything to me.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “He’s just going through a few things.” He stepped down off that final step, making his way toward home. He turned, speaking to you again, “He’s not ready to talk to you, so give him space for now. He’ll talk to you when he’s ready.” Then he turned away again, continuing his walk away.

That wasn’t enough for you. You hurried to catch up to him, “Minho!” You fell into step next to him. “Why can’t he just tell me that? That’s all I needed to hear from him. He knows he can tell me things, I just—”

Minho stopped suddenly, turning to face you. He reached up, hands resting on your shoulders. “When he’s ready, he’ll tell you. Don’t worry about him,” his fingers dug into your shoulders for a quick squeeze, “I’m taking care of him. Just wait for him.”

Before you could question him further, Minho let go of you. All you could do was stand there, stewing in your thoughts. Minho knew, then. What he knew exactly, you weren’t sure, but he at least knew what was wrong with Jisung. You drew your phone back out of your pocket, opening it to your unanswered messages to Jisung. Maybe you shouldn’t have, but you needed to say at least one last thing before you stopped trying to contact him. Just to he knew that you were still on his side:

I’m here if you need me, Jisung. Please take care. Love you.

And by the time you were home, he had reacted with a heart. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to tell you he’d seen your messages.

At least he’d given you that.

Jisung still wasn’t speaking to you another week later.

He knew about Felix. How could he not know about Felix? He knew that you had ended things with him. He knew that Hyunjin was beyond pissed at you, and he knew you’d eventually figure that out. Jisung had spilled his feelings to Hyunjin when he pushed again. That he had loved you for so long now that he couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t love you. Hyunjin, to his credit, had quietly listened to Jisung as he told him everything. Then when he was done, he scowled to himself.

“They hurt Felix,” he had said. “Because they love you.”

Jisung shook his head. “You don’t have to say things like that. I know they don’t—”

“No, they do, and you need to realize that.” Hyunjin crumpled the paper cup of coffee, getting up to throw it into the trash. “That’s why they turned Felix down.”

What the hell—Did you say something to Hynjin? “Did they tell you?”

“No.” He crossed his arms. “But I know. It’s a gut feeling. I always thought you were lying to me, but…” He let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head. “You deserve better than them, Jisung.”

Immediately, he was taken aback. “What?”

“They fucked with Felix’s feelings,” he said, “and I think that’s fucked up. I don’t care that they have feelings for you—they should have left Felix out of it. Why would they do this to him?”

“They liked him,” Jisung said, already quick to defend you. He was hurting, yes, but he wasn’t going to just let Hyunjin insult you like this. You weren’t some cruel person—you had genuinely liked Felix. What, were you supposed to keep dating Felix when it turned out you didn’t feel the same way? “They wouldn’t have dated him if they didn’t.”

“Did they?” He balled his hands into fists. “Or were they just trying to get over you?”

“They wouldn’t have hurt him on purpose!” Jisung hated how he teared up now. He was angry, he wanted to defend you, and yet the stress of fighting back now was already getting to him. “They were figuring out how they felt—they’re not a bad person for figuring out that they don’t like him like that.”

“I mean it,” Hyunjin said. “You deserve better. Felix does, too.”

Jisung didn’t know what else to say. Nothing he could say would change Hyunjin’s mind, would it? He was pissed at you, and nothing Jisung could say on your behalf would do anything. Only you could change his mind.

“I’m still here for you,” Hyunjin said, voice a little softer than before. “I know it’s hard. I’m sorry, Jisung.”

Of course he was still there for him. Everyone would be—including Felix, if he knew. He saw a picture pop up a few days later of Felix out with Hyunjin and Changbin, smiling genuinely at the camera. He’d heard about how badly Felix had been hurting those first few days–. Changbin said he’d been crying for so long that night, genuinely heartbroken by how everything had gone down. Not that Changbin was upset with you at all: relationships sometimes just didn’t work out. It sucked that Felix was hurt, but everyone (excluding Hyunjin, who’s loyalty to Felix admittedly blinded him to anything you were going through) understood that the situation was complicated. It had to be, right? The two of you seemed to fit together so well…

Jisung shut his eyes, listening as he reworked this part in his song about you for maybe the millionth time now. The lyrics weren’t completely right, not flowing the way he wanted them to. But he’d never been able to get them right every time he tried to rewrite them, and it was too personal a project to ask for a second opinion on. He’d stopped working on it to console Felix at one point, only for him to ask point black if Jisung actually did like you. He denied it. the same way he always did and always would, and Felix didn’t push. Jisung couldn’t like you now. Not when it would hurt someone, and especially when it would hurt someone like Felix. Denying his feelings hurt, but pursuing you just felt selfish.

Suddenly, his headphones were pulled off his ears, and Minho stood next to him. He glanced at the screen and already recognized it to be the piece that Jisung had been working on constantly when he wasn’t working on schoolwork, and sighed. Jisung watched as Minho wordlessly made his way over to his closet, opening the doors and searching through his shirts. He yanked one off, throwing it at Jisung, who scrambled to catch it.

“Get dressed,” Minho said before Jisung could question him. “Chris is on his way.”

Jisung furrowed his brows. Chris was…? He looked down at the clean white t-shirt in his hands. “Did something happen?”

“We’re all going out,” he said, searching for a clean pair of jeans. He threw those at him, too, and then turned. “You’ve barely left the apartment outside of work and class. We’re going to sing your feelings out. Bottling them up won’t help you.”

Jisung only stared at him. Writing a song about you was the opposite of bottling it up… right? “I’m not—”

“You don’t have to tell us everything,” he made his way over, giving Jisung a gentle pat on the head. “But you can depend on us. We’re here for you.”

Jisung looked down at the clothing Minho had oh-so-lovingly thrown in his face, and nodded. He left his headphones on his desk, moving to change once Minho had left him alone. Soon enough, he had changed, and even sooner after that, Chris had shown up. If you were upset, Chris hadn’t said a word about it. He just threw an arm around Jisung, already bragging about how he’d have the highest score tonight if Jisung didn’t bring his game. It was almost nice to act as though nothing was wrong, even though Jisung saw the concerned looks Chris kept taking.

He’d run his fingers over the smooth seats in the karaoke room, listening as Chris put in an order for drinks and snacks. All of this was his treat, he’d insisted over and over. This was entirely his idea, apparently (an idea Minho didn’t refute at all). Jisung kept glancing at the door, wondering if this was some plan they’d concocted to make the two of you talk.

“Jisung, you should sing first,” Minho said, prodding his side to get his attention.

Jisung looked to his two friends, who began to chant his name to motivate him further. This wasn’t a trap to make the two of you talk, then. The tension eased off of him. They wouldn’t do that to him—not like this, at least. He waved his hands, though. “No—It’s fine! One of you can go first.”

Chris stood up and began to cycle through the songs, humming to himself before stumbling across one. “Jisungie,” he cooed, “will you sing with me?”

Of course Chris had found a duet. It was from two members of a popular boy group, and Jisung had… admittedly listened to it more than a few times over the past two weeks. The song was about heartbreak to the point of begging the listener to say yes, to sing this song with them again, to let them stay again. It was easier to sing alongside Chris than to sing along, to share his pain through another song he’d had on repeat.

And it became healing to belt out a ballad with his friends until his throat ached. To break down crying afterwards and be held by them as he sobbed. Something inside of him had finally broken down in the way it needed to. When replacing his battery once, the guy behind the counter told Jisung that it was okay to let his phone die sometimes, because even it needed rest. He didn’t know enough to know if this was sound advice, but he had always kept the advice in mind at least. Was that what this was? Had his own battery finally run out and this was his way of resting rather than tirelessly pushing forward, recharge after recharge? He’d leaned into Minho’s side, sobbing into his sleeve while Chris rubbed circles onto his back.

By the time they left after buying another hour, Jisung felt lighter. He would always carry this heartbreak for you within him, yearning for something he needed to let go of to be better. But more importantly, things finally seemed clearer to him. He knew how to fix his song, lyrics perfected in the back of his mind. He typed them out into his notes app while sitting in the back of Chris’s car, just so he wouldn’t lose them. The melody came to him easier—something he’d need to change a little to be just right—and he tapped it out onto his jean-clad leg. The moment he was home, he would put it down onto paper.

And when he finished his song, he could finally let go. Jisung promised himself that he would, and when he did that, he could finally let you back in if you would have him.

Almost three weeks without Jisung, and you felt like you were holding yourself together with thread. At first, you’d been angry once Minho told you to just wait for Jisung. If it was this serious, then Jisung should have told you himself that he needed space. A lot of space, apparently. Then came worry, because had you done something to upset him? Was that why he wouldn’t so much as look at you anymore? Had you hurt Jisung without even knowing it. Or… Or did he figure out the real reason why you couldn’t be with Felix? Someone must have suspected your feelings for Jisung now. Chris had to know. Changbin already suspected something. Surely, one of them would have hinted at it to Jisung… wouldn’t they? Night after night, you found yourself searching through every text from your friend group for some answer that you were sure would never come to you. Something that someone had said to hint at what was wrong with Jisung.

And then the answer came to you in what someone didn’t say. Hyunjin had never responded to a single one of your texts. You hadn’t noticed at the time, far too caught up in trying to figure out the puzzle that was Han Jisung and his disappearance from your life. But you’d had enough, and if Hyunjin had the answers, then it was time to put a stop to this. You’d buzzed his apartment, and Seungmin let you in without much of a second thought. Hyunjin sat at their dining table, sketchbook open in front of him while he worked on thumbnails for a new assignment. He looked up, and immediately you saw disgust cross his face.

“Tell me what’s wrong with Jisung.”

You weren’t asking anymore: this was a demand. A week ago, you would have scurried in and pleaded for Hyunjin to just talk to you. But the scorn in his eyes was enough to tell you that Hyunjin knew something and, for whatever reason, he was beyond pissed at you. He scowled at you for a moment, but let it go, fading into neutrality. He leaned back after a moment, giving you a quick once-over.

“You’re being rude.”

Was he serious right now? Of all the people to deal with… “Hyunjin.” You folded your arms across your chest. “I mean it. If you do know something, then tell me already.”

His gaze was cold still, expression not betraying his true thoughts. “It’s none of your business.”

“Bullshit!” You snapped at him, fists balled as you stepped forward. “It’s been almost three weeks and I haven’t seen Jisung the entire fucking time—If it’s bad, then at least say that!”

“What do you think the problem is?!” Hyunjin truly was pissed with you, voice now raising as he stood up. He pushed his sketchbook aside to where it would be safe, and stared you down. “You broke Felix’s heart, and it’s hurting the rest of us—and you should have thought about that before you asked him out.”

You sputtered. Was he pissed at you because things didn’t work out? “I didn’t know we wouldn’t work out! What was I supposed to do—pretend I still had feelings for him?”

“Tell him sooner.” He clenched his jaw. “Don’t lead him on when you clearly have feelings for Jisung.”

Seungmin gasped behind you, and you found yourself at a loss for words. Hyunjin knew? When—How—How the fuck did Hyunjin find out? You swore you’d always hidden your feelings well, but… “What are you talking about?”

His gaze was ice cold now, and he scowled at you once more. “You went out with Felix because you didn’t want to admit it. Now Jisung feels bad because he helped set you two up because you asked—Did you even like Felix?!”

“I did!” You did. You truly did. But not every relationship was meant to last—and, hell, you never even became anything official. If you could turn back time, you would have ended things sooner. “I did,” you said, your voice softer as you reined in your temper. “I wouldn’t just mess with Felix like that, Hyunjin. He’s my friend, too.” You brought your arms up to hug yourself. “Hyunjin, do you really think I’d do that?”

Hyunjin didn’t say anything for a moment, the regret clear on his face. His fingers grazed the wooden table in front of him as he looked away from you, pressing his lips into a firm line. As upset as he was with you, assuming you would be so cruel to someone you both clearly cared about was… a little too far, wasn’t it? He took a deep breath as he calmed himself down, meeting your eyes after a moment. “I think you need to figure out your feelings. I’m tired of watching my friends hurt.”

“I know.” Your lip trembled a little, and you fought back the urge to cry. “I can’t help how I feel about Felix, though. I know I should have told him sooner, but… I really, really didn’t know until we kissed. I promise.”

Hyunjin said nothing at first, just watching you. He licked his lips a moment later, swallowing hard. “You really don’t understand, do you?”

All you could do was stare. Maybe he would give something away. “What?”

Seungmin spoke up after a moment, “Don’t you have that meeting? For your project?” He looked between the two of you. He looked at Hyunjin more pointedly after a moment, clearly annoyed at the confused look on his face. “Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin caught on for once, although you could tell that this was some sort of lie. “Right,” he said, reaching for his sketchbook. “I should go.”

There was no point in calling either of them out. They weren’t going to tell you anything now, and you needed to reflect on what had happened so far. You apologized for intruding and for coming in so hot, turning to make your way out of the apartment. While you still weren’t sure why, exactly, Jisung was upset to the point of not speaking to you… You understood at least a little more. It felt like everyone knew something that you didn’t, although the answer felt just outside of your reach. How much of it was you not knowing, though, and how much of it was you not letting yourself know? You weren’t sure.

Hyunjin called your name before you left, hesitating before he met your gaze. “I think… I think you should talk to Jisung.” He frowned. “I’m still upset with you because of Felix, but… It’s weird that you two aren’t talking at all. So…” He made his way over, opening the door to leave with you. “Talk to Jisung soon.”

You would. Regardless of how you came out on the other end, you would talk to him no matter what it took.

Jisung had his favorite studio on the music floor of the arts building. He’d penciled in his time slot at the beginning of the week, and let himself in with the code. This room was the furthest from the entrance, and it had the most comfortable chair to settle in and work in. It was always a fight to get this room, and Jisung was good at quietly stealing a few time slots for himself. He shoved his bag underneath the table, and he put himself to work. He’d need to re-record the piano track for one piece, record the guitar accompaniment for another piece he’d been working on… And plenty more that was always best suited for working here rather than home. Using digital instruments only took him so far—there was something calming about sitting down and playing a piece himself.

It wasn’t until he was playing a piece back that he heard the door click unlocked behind him. When he looked up, there you were. You looked tired. Far more tired than he did most days. What had happened to you?

“Hey.” You stood in the open doorway. Non-music students weren’t allowed in here, but that had never stopped you. Someone had to drag him back home when it was getting too late, after all.

He ran a hand through his hair, hoping that he looked casual enough. “Hey.”

“Everything okay?” The door slowly fell shut behind you, and you stepped a little closer to him. “It’s been a while.”

Three weeks, but who’s counting? Jisung was. He kept counting day by day, hour by hour, trying to whittle down the time further and further until he was strong enough to face you again. “I’ve been busy,” he half-lied. “That’s all.”

“Is it?” You frowned, making your way over to the nearby chair. “If you want me to leave, you can tell me, okay? I’m worried about you.”

Jisung let out a sigh, nodding. “I’m okay. Just…” He looked at the piece he’d been working on, and thought back to the song he’d been writing for you. “I’ve been working on a song sometimes. But…” He looked at you. Maybe you’d have the answer he was still searching for. “What would you do if you loved someone you shouldn’t?”

“Like… forbidden love?” You tilted your head curiously, frowning. “Or…?”

He chuckled, actually smiling again for the first time in a while. Oh, how he was still so endeared to you. No wonder you were still in your literature program with cute thoughts like those. “Just someone you can’t be with. Like…” He hummed to himself. It would be another lie, but it’d throw you off his trail if you were starting to figure him out. “A friend’s partner.”

He could see the way you started to think on that, no doubt making a list of all the friends the two of you had that were dating. It’d vex your brain for a bit, sure, but Jisung didn’t mind. He liked the cute way your brows drew together when you were thinking hard, lips always pressing into this pout.

“That’s what my song is about is all,” he said. “I haven’t experienced it myself,” he lied again, “but I was thinking about it and I wondered what kind of song that would turn into. It’s about someone who’s in love with their friend’s partner, and struggling with those feelings. Like… They wouldn’t do anything to hurt their friend, but they still can’t help their feelings.”

You said nothing to him. Had he said too much? You were figuring him out, weren’t you…?

“I just think it’s hard to live that life,” he said. Every time he even thought about you, there was an ache in his chest. Felix liked you, too. “I mean… Imagine loving someone so much that it hurts.”

“I can, yeah.” Your voice had gone a little quieter than usual. Right. Had you felt that way about Felix…? Or were you talking about him now? Jisung struggled more with that one, even though Hyunjin was so confident that Jisung’s feelings had never been one-sided.

He met your gaze a minute later, shy to look into your eyes again. He’d always loved the color of your eyes. If he could write songs about how he wanted to drown in their warm, loving gaze, he would. But that was straying a little too far into territory he’d sworn away from. “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I wanted time to figure things out, but… I think Minho would tell you I haven’t talked to most people lately.”

You nodded. “Chris said the three of you went out to a noraebang.” Your toes tapped against the floor in that nervous way, as though this was a topic you shouldn’t even come close to. “Did that help?”

Wait… You weren’t mad at him for that. “It doesn’t bother you?”

“No?” You toyed with your sleeve, not quite meeting his gaze this time. “I mean… It did sting a little bit, but if you needed Chris and Minho, then I can’t change that. All I can do is just kinda hope that they helped you.”

He didn’t deserve you. Fuck the music for now, he’d finished what he really needed to do. He began to shut down the equipment, gathering his things as he stood up, facing you. “I’ll buy dessert,” he said. “Is that okay?”

it was your turn to smile at him, lighting up his world all too easily. You followed him out of the studio, and he secured the door shut to make sure it was locked. For a moment, his hand brushed against your own, and he yearned to hold it. Another feeling he would have to get used to, he was sure. But all he could do was smile at you, thankful that you were right there by his side for the first time in weeks.

This would be hard, but he could do it. He wasn’t going to lose you again. Not if he had anything to do with it.

Hyunjin had shown up to his apartment for once, and he stood in the doorway to his bedroom. “Jisung. Tell them.” His hand curled around the strap of his bag, clutching it tight. “Soon.”

Minho had told him the same thing ever since the two of you started talking again. If Jisung didn’t want to pursue you, then it was time he learned to let you go. And if he did want to become something with you, then he needed to talk to you. It wasn’t fair to either of you if he held onto this dream of loving you without ever trying. If Jisung couldn’t let himself do it, then why keep hurting himself by holding onto it so tightly? Why not find a new dream to pursue, a new person to love wholeheartedly? Yet Jisung couldn’t imagine a world where he wasn’t loving you in some way. Part of his heart would live and die with you one day, no matter how far away he went. This was his fate now.

“I just got our friendship back,” he said without looking up again. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Jisung, they like you.” Hyunjin said it outright. “So you need to tell them.”

Jisung looked up. He knew you liked him. But would he ever let himself fully believe it? It felt… harder to grasp that reality. He’d spent so long telling himself that it was all in his head, that the tender look in your eyes was just you caring for him as a best friend. But Hyunjin was right. Minho had been right. Everyone who had ever told him to just go for it was right. “Hyunjin, I don’t know if I can—”

“I’m tired of watching my friends hurt,” he said. “All of us see it. Why can’t you?”

Jisung swallowed hard. “What about Felix?”

Hyunjin averted his gaze, frowning. “Felix…” He took a deep breath. “Felix would want you to be happy, Jisung. He knows, too, you know.” He took a step back. “I’m not going to push you. But you should tell them.”

He said nothing else, and soon Hyunjin left him there. Jisung shut the world out again, listening to his song as it played back to him again. One step closer. Once he finished this song, everything would be okay.

Chris Bang had always been your best friend growing up before Jisung took that title away from him. He was an older brother to you in every way except blood, and that meant he was the one who would have the hard talks with you. He’d come home with your favorite takeout in hand, setting it on the dinner table before saying he’d change out of his work clothes quickly. But you knew what was coming. There were only two reasons that Chris would buy your favorite takeout on his way home from work. You weren’t upset, which meant it was time for an adult conversation. One that you wouldn’t want to have, but needed to. Soon enough, Chris had sat across from you, having poured your drink first.

“So I think we should talk about how you’re in love with Jisung,” Chris said as he set down the bottle. “Okay?”

You stared at him, already feeling tears well up. Everyone knew, then. If Chris knew, then there was no way the others hadn’t figured it out. “Chris…”

“It’s okay.” He took your hand in his own. It was time for the two of you to dump your feelings onto the table and sort them out right then and there together. “Let’s talk about this, okay? No more running away.”

No more running away. You breathed in deep, and slowly exhaled. Where to begin…? You weren’t sure. So much of your life had become this huge mess over the past few months, and now all those strings were tangled so tightly together that you weren’t sure you could undo the knot.

So Chris squeezed your hand before letting go, turning his attention to the bag of takeout in front of you. “I know you,” he said. “So I know you didn’t want to hurt Felix, and I know that you still don’t. But… I think it’s time you put your feelings first for once.”

“Chris…” You frowned. “It feels too soon.”

“I kinda hate saying it, but we all know now. Felix included.” He set your plate in front of you, and didn’t touch his own. All he did was watch you, waiting for you to say or do anything further. When you didn’t, he decided to continue on, “You can’t tell me that you don’t want to act now because of Felix. I asked everyone and they all said the same thing: they thought you’d liked Jisung for a while before you and Felix dated. After that, they all thought that you two were just that close.”

“We are.”

Chris shook his head, saying your name gently this time. “You know Jisung loves you, right?”

There was a spike of pain in your chest. Not because you didn’t, but because you did. Hyunjin had all but spelled it out for you before, but seeing Jisung again that day proved it. You’d always thought you were just believing in something that wasn’t there, too afraid to toe the line between friend and more. Tears lined your eyes now, and finally ran down your cheeks as you blinked. All you could do was nod now.

Chris already reached up to wipe away your tears. “It’s okay!” He chuckled. “You’ve gotten so soft,” he teased. “But… Why did you never tell him?”

“I was scared.” You still were, to be fair. “I didn’t know for sure before, and… Now I just don’t want to hurt Felix. I don’t think Jisung does, either.”

His gaze softened so much. Of course the two of you were still thinking of Felix. Minho had said the same thing to Chris, actually. “Felix wants you to be happy,” he said. “All of us do. If that means being with Jisung, then that’s what you should do. Felix is an adult, you know. He might be more sensitive sometimes, but he’d never hold any of this against you.” He cupped your cheek gently. “And I really, really don’t think he’d want to be the reason you two never tried.”

You could believe that easily. If Felix knew, he’d feel guilty. That you knew as fact.

“And if I’m being honest… I don’t think he’s the only reason you haven’t tried.” He pulled his hand away from your face. “So… Talk to me. What’s really stopping you?”

No running away. “What if this doesn't work out and I lose Jisung for good?”

“There’s no guarantee that will happen,” Chris said.

“There’s no guarantee we’ll work out, either.” You frowned. “I’ve heard horror stories of friends who tried to date and it ruined everything.”

“And there’s friends who managed to go back to being friends,” Chris said. “I really think that you two wouldn’t let it tear you apart. You’ve already been through so much, you know?”

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. The last thing you ever wanted was to lose Jisung again. If the two of you didn’t work out, how hard would you fight for him? Would he fight for you, too…?

“The most you’ll ever have to do is get space from each other,” Chris said. “But I think you’d come back to each other.”

“I think he’s my soulmate.” You hadn’t thought before you said it, the words bursting out of you all too easily. Regardless of whether that was platonically or romantically, Jisung was someone you wanted to keep in your life forever. “But…”

“But?”

“Isn’t it too soon?” You frowned at Chris. “I mean… Felix and I—”

“If you don’t go for it now, when will you?” Chris held your hand again. “If you aren’t ready to tell him, I won’t push you to do it. Just because you confess doesn’t mean you have to rush into a relationship—it just means you’re finally being honest with each other. Go at your own pace… But don’t hold back because of everyone else, okay?” He squeezed your hand reassuringly. “The only people in this relationship would be you and Jisung. So don’t include anyone else in this decision, okay?”

With a nod, you decided to commit to giving yourself three days. One day to make up your mind for sure on whether this was the right move to make. If you were going to confess to Jisung, then you wanted to do it sooner rather than later. The second day was to figure out how you were going to tell him. Over cheesecake, or in through a song, or in the park… You still had to figure that part out, and you would. It needed to be special.

And the third day was going to be the day you told him.

On the rooftop of Jisung’s apartment was a community garden. It brought a little greenery into the city, and it was nice to see the plants that several people often tended to— fresh herbs that Minho would sometimes pick with permission to use when he cooked, a few tomato plants that he often saw people tending to, Things that he didn’t fully understand the care of himself, but he still appreciated the efforts put into it. It was a nice space to sit and think alone sometimes, most of his friends unaware of just how often he’d come up here. He could see so much of the city here, too. He was just one person in this great big city—in the world, even, if he let his mind wander that far. And yet he’d found significance through the people he loved, in the passions he pursued.

He’d finished his song for you late last night, and now he was left with this hollow feeling. He’d told himself over and over that this song would be it: one last thing he’d dedicate to you, and then he’d move on. But… That wasn’t how it was going to work at all. Han Jisung knew a few things now. He loved you. You loved him. The only question he had left was how to tell you.

Maybe he should have written you a love song instead. Then he’d have something, at least.

He’d brought a drink out here with him, settling at the picnic table. He used to bring you up here sometimes, stealing away from the world for a while to just exist with you. You’d share drinks together, and a few times you’d ended up rained on. Now, he just lost himself to the playlist he’d been listening to, head bobbing along to the music. He could bring you here and confess to you at sunset. Would that be romantic? He didn’t care for it being a grand gesture, as long as it was something memorable. All he wanted was a gesture that told you that he was sorry but ready to face tomorrow at your side, if you would let him be there.

The door to the rooftop had this awful screech that he could hear through his headphones. He opened his eyes, reaching to pull them around his neck and politely greet whoever had come up here. And it was as if you’d heard his thoughts, because there you stood in the golden rays of the day.

“Hey.” The door had slowly swung shut behind you as you made your way over to him.

He shyly smiled at you. “Hi.” Now it was his turn to ask: “Is everything okay?”

You nodded, coming to the edge of the table. “I think we should talk about us.”

“Us?” His heart almost skipped a beat at that. Did you…?

Oh. You knew.

“It’s nothing bad,” you had said to him, as if it could put him at ease now. “But…” You rounded the table, throwing one leg over the bench he’d been sitting on. Instead of sitting normally, you chose to straddle it, just so you could fully face him.

So he matched you, throwing one leg out and turning to fully face you. “But?”

“I’m in love with you,” you said, voice wavering ever so slightly now. “And… And you’re in love with me.” You’d begun to drum your knuckles against the wooden bench. “And… And I don’t know why neither of us said anything sooner.”

Jisung stared at you, face growing warmer. His gut instinct was to deny it, to push his feelings away. But Hyunjin’s words rang out in his head: he was tired of seeing his friends hurt. Everyone was now.

“I really wanna be honest with you, so…” You took a deep breath, shutting your eyes for just a moment to center yourself. “Hyunjin thought I was using Felix to get over you, and… I just wanted to say that I promise I wasn’t. I really did like Felix, but…”

“I didn’t think you were,” Jisung’s voice was soft, and he reached for your hands. His fingertips grazed your knuckles before he pulled his hands away. Was touching you, even in such a tiny way, too much? “I knew you liked him.”

You nodded slowly. “Good. Because…” You’d grown flustered, averting your gaze. “I.. didn’t know that it’d always be you until I kissed him.”

That time, the world seemed to stop around him. It’d… always be him? “What?” His fingers curled around the edge of the bench. “I don’t understand. What do you—”

A moment later, your eyes met his own. “I think I’ve been looking for you in every person I’ve tried dating, and that’s why it’s never worked out.” He’d already begun to melt, but you continued on, “If you didn’t love me back, then I think maybe one day I would have moved on. But… If you don’t, then tell me, and we can pretend this conversation never happened.”

He shook his head. The last thing he wanted was to pretend he didn’t love you. Yet something ached in his chest. Felix. Even now, all he could think about was how Felix would hurt once he knew the two of you were something. “I… I want to,” he said, voice softer now. “But what about Felix?”

“Would you hesitate if Felix didn’t like me?”

He shook his head. Never. He swallowed hard, his emotions building in his chest. He’d dreamed of a day like this for so long, always pining over you night after night. He dreamed of kissing you, warm and tender, and saying all the pretty things that came to mind. And now that you were in front of him, he couldn’t help but glance at your lips again. Not yet. “I…” He paused, just to gather himself together. “I didn’t think you’d love me, you know.”

You frowned at him. “Why not?”

“You’re you,” he said. “And… And I wasn’t sure if you’d ever like me like that. I’ve always known you liked me, but love is… different.” The paint chips from the bench were flaking onto his fingers now, the same shade of red as your sweater. As his, too. “I know Felix is hurting now, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. I thought it would, but…”

“I get it.” You nodded slowly. “I… I also kinda thought things would change. But if everyone wants us to be happy, then I think we’re the only people standing in our way.”

He didn’t want to. Not anymore. Jisung reached forward, this time keeping his hands over your own. “I think we should stop that,” he said, voice growing quieter. His eyes had grown wetter, tears brimming the edges, and reached up to wipe them away. “Sorry—I’m getting emotional.”

“It’s okay.” You scooted forward a little, and Jisung felt his heart begin to race. You were so close he could kiss you. He wanted to kiss you. You reached up, caressing Jisung’s face. He already leaned into your touch, eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he savored the feeling. Your hands were so warm, even now. “I think I’ll always love Felix the way I love the rest of our friends. But… I love you more, Jisung. I know it’s early to say it, but… I really think it’s you.”

He opened his eyes, taking in the way the golden rays of the sun were kissing your face. Was it wrong to be a little jealous? Again, his eyes flickered down to your lips for just a second. “Can I kiss you?”

You said the only word he needed, and he leaned in to close the space between the two of you. His nose had brushed against yours for a moment, already smiling before his lips met your own. Your lips were so soft, and his hands found a home at your waist after a moment. He’d always wondered what kissing you would be like, and now it felt as though he’d finally woken up from the longest dream in his life. His eyes fluttered shut as he lost himself in this moment with you.

He’d heard stories before of what it was like to kiss someone after so much pining, after so many trials in the way. People talked of having their breath stolen from them, or being unable to breathe from how surreal it all seemed to be. Yet when he kissed you, it was as though he could finally breathe again. He had resurfaced after drowning in so much self doubt and fear for far too long, and kissing you was living. Yet he knew that if he was given the choice to drown in you, he would have done it without a second thought. As much as you’d given him life with only a kiss, filling his lungs with air, he’d follow your siren song to the depths of the ocean all too eagerly if it meant he could taste this feeling once more. You ran a hand through his hair, and he was already intoxicated by you, his body yearning for your touch more than ever before. Yet when he pulled away, something had plucked his heartstrings one by one. He let out that broken, stuttered breath that always served as a precursor for him crying. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he gazed at you, trying to commit every part of this moment to memory.

“Jisung?” You were concerned for him even after kissing him, and he wanted to laugh. To cry. To kiss you again. “Are you okay?”

He nodded, his hands finding your own all too easily. “I love you, too.” He’d always love you. Whatever part of his heart you had, it was yours to keep regardless of where this went. “I think it’s you for me, too.”

By the time the two of you had made it back inside, the sun had set, and Jisung had held onto your hand tightly the entire way to his apartment. He’d given up his bed for you in the past already, he’d happily do it again to make sure you had a proper night of sleep. Maybe one day he would fall asleep next to you and memorize every line and blemish on your face, but not tonight. Kissing you and saying those three little words he’d always wanted to hear you say was plenty for one day. Yet he’d kissed you one last time as he left you at his bedroom door, just to kiss you goodnight.

“Jisung?” You’d called to him as he made his way to the couch, and he’d turned to face you one more time. “Dream of me.”

Oh. Oh. His heart had skipped a beat yet again at you. This was his new reality, wasn’t it? He found himself smiling at you, that same shy, pretty smile you’d later tell him you always wanted to kiss. He’d dream of you every night if it meant he could wake up to you, too. Tonight would be the end of strife and stress and strain from not telling you how he felt. Now he had to make up for so much lost time.

And if that meant that, starting tomorrow, he would tell you exactly what you meant to him, then he’d do it. That was what you deserved, after all, and what he did, too.

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