#Also they’re all incredibly sleep deprived at this point so

[mutable-manifestation]

Part 2 of The Gotham Puddle Boy: Danny Fenton

Danny wasn't too concerned about getting in a car with a stranger in what may well be the crime capital of the world. 

If he got weirdo - or Dash-like - vibes he could just slip out of sight and vanish into the wind. Being half ghost made a lot of human dangers less so.

Plus, perks of being a Fenton: riding in the car with a stranger wouldn't make him nervous about their driving. No one in the world was worse at it than his dad.

So a few minutes of trading jokes and a promise of video games was all it really took to get Danny to say "sure" to going back to Tim's house. 

The car was nice, at least, and they bantered over music even as they left city limits, which Danny chose to ignore for the time being.

Around 10 minutes later they turned to approach the gates of a veritable mansion that unfortunately brought forth the memory of his first time approaching Vlad's house. 

He was silent as Tim buzzed them in, and as they crawled slowly up the driveway he took the opportunity to ask.

"You live here?”

“Yep! Bruce Wayne is my adoptive father. Welcome to Wayne Manor!"

Not long after the building’s front door was opening before they could touch the handle, with an older man in a suit greeting them. "Master Tim, welcome home. I see you've brought a guest."

A hand clapped down on his shoulder as he was introduced, "Danny this is Alfred, Alfred this is Danny. We'll be in my room playing Damned."

"It is a pleasure to meet a friend of Tim, Mister Danny."

"Ah, you too. And just Danny is fine, Mister Alfred."

Alfred smiled and secured a promise that they'd be down to at least stretch their legs and eat something after an hour had passed before Tim was ushering them through the building to his room.

Sam was a good person, but also openly hated rich people despite technically being one. Her parents, however, were a nightmare hidden behind a thin facade of civility when in public. Vlad was also a nightmare. Axion labs had been run by some tycoon and they killed their innocent dogs. Lex Luthor openly hated Superman - which would be totally understandable if it were because he never so much as glanced at Amity Park’s issues instead of because of his incredibly Xenophobic stance on any and all non-humans. All told, Danny didn’t have a good track record with -illionaires - not the adults, at least.

'...Okay, maybe I should just avoid Bruce,' he thought, settling on the floor at the foot of the bed in the enormous room they'd entered to face the gloriously massive TV while Tim booted it up.

An hour later, Alfred was knocking on the door to herd them to the dining room where he'd prepared "refreshments." It was nice to enjoy homemade food that didn't fight back for once - he hadn't eaten at Sam or Tucker's house in a while and takeout wasn't quite the same. Even if they were unfortunately healthy snacks - the strange slices he'd learned were apricot were surprisingly good.

Alfred had them stretch their legs again two hours later - this time snackless - and Tim decided to give him a tour. The house was immaculate and the kitchen would have made the Lunch Lady greener than normal with envy.

It was also empty.

"Don't you have a bunch of siblings?" he asked on the way back to the room.

"Yeah, but they're all out doing their own things until lunch." He stopped just after closing the door behind him to grin at him. "Speaking of which. Can you stay for lunch?"

Danny blinked at the sudden manic energy starkly contrasting with the incredibly normal question. 

"Uh, I don't have to be back at the hotel until like 5, so, sure?"

"How do you feel about playing a little prank?"

Danny grinned, "What did you have in mind?"

---------------------------------

POV Jason

Jason’s patience was running incredibly thin. He had been looking at tubes of water for hours while Bruce kept asking variations of the same question. His only consolation was that Duke took up half of the attention or he might have punched him by now.

The only reason he even showed up was that he’d been told there was potential Lazarus water in Gotham - or something similar. But after hours upon hours of tests by the computer and him and Duke staring at it he was certain; that was water. Bruce had lost it.

Just as he braced himself to try and knock some sense into Bruce, Alfred came to fetch them to lunch. 

‘Finally,’ he thought, power-walking to the exit.

“I’ll be up in a minute, I want to set up one more scan to run while we’re eating,” Bruce threw after them.

“It had better only be a minute.” He paused to glower ominously over his shoulder, simmering with rage at all of the wasted time - and using that to smother the concern trying to bubble up.

“Finally,” Duke said once they were out of the batcave. “I thought we were going to be in there forever!”

Jason ignored him as he fished out his phone.

“Oh hey, group text from Tim; he has a guest that fits the family theme so he’s going to try and prank Bruce to see if he’s actually ‘lost the plot.’”

Jason grimaced, “Great, so instead of a productive lunch we’ll be playing house plus ‘guest that definitely isn’t the former Jason Todd, just a very similarly looking friend of the family’ for an hour.” He ran a hand down his face, sighing in frustration. “Count me ou-”

He froze in place, every muscle flinching to a stop. 

“Uh, Jason?”

“Quiet.” He hissed, eyes darting to the stairs as voices began to drift their way. 

Every hair stood on end as he stood there, something in his blood echoing dissonant signals of danger-run-hide-flee-don’t move-stay still-stop-stop-stop even as his conscious mind demanded he confront the problem head-on. But he couldn’t move - frozen as surely as if he’d been hit by one of Freeze’s ice rays.

As the stranger came into view his mind gave up on the danger signals, finally settling on don’t move don’t move don’t move even as near-unbearable levels of anxiety bubbled up in his gut. He barely registered Tim standing next to the guy as his head turned to stare him down, Jason’s eyes widening and shoulders hunching now that this… person’s full attention was on him.

The person hesitated a moment at the top of the stairs before smiling.

“Hi! I’m Danny, you must be Tim’s brothers?” he chirped, voice friendly enough that the anxiety uncurled just a bit. Just enough for Jason to register Tim staring at him oddly and Duke looking between the two of them.

Tim descended the stairs, done waiting for “Danny” to take the initiative, perhaps, while Duke took his silence as a cue to give the guy his cover story.

“Just me, actually,” he said. “The name’s Duke. J here is a friend of the family.” 

“Oh, uh, nice to meet you both anyway. Sorry for crashing you guys’ lunch,” he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck sheepishly before following Tim down to their level, still smiling calmly. “My parents are in town for some engineering convention and Tim kind of rescued me from dying of boredom.”

Abruptly, Jason found himself completely calm - relaxed, even. Suspiciously so; all of the rage and frustration he’d felt ever since emerging from the Lazarus Pit was suddenly swapped out for a level of relaxation he could nearly call “Zen.” 

He would nearly suspect a meta had broken Bruce’s rules, but he was the only one to react. Tim and Duke were clearly unaffected and the guy was either one hell of an actor or had genuinely only noticed him when he saw him. 

Meaning this was potentially Lazarus related - and even that thought could not cut through the sheer tranquility he was feeling to cause panic. His thoughts, at least, were unaffected.

Also, he kind of just wanted to enjoy not being angry for the first time in ages. Sue him.

So he plastered on a Wayne-family PR smile and ended the second awkward silence of the day. 

“Don’t worry about it; any friend of Tim’s is a friend of ours, at any rate. We have maybe two more minutes before Alfred actually manages to wrangle Bruce out of his study, why don’t you fill me in on this prank.”

[rainiishowers]

Obey Me Incorrect Quotes

A/N: Haha sleep deprivation go brrrrr

———

MC: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Simeon and not do the thing,

MC: Well there’s a clear right answer here.

MC: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

——

Barbatos’, at Solomon’s “funeral”: I need a moment with them.

Everyone else at the funeral: Of course. *leaves*

Barbatos, leaning over Solomon’s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Solomon, sitting up in the coffin: Yeah, no shit.

——

Asmodeus: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

——

Satan: ARE YOU-

MC: Fucking.

Satan: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

MC: Fucking.

Satan: IDIOT!

Beelzebub: …What was that?

MC: Lucifer banned Satan from swearing, so I’m helping him out.

——

Simeon: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.

Satan: I would say infinitesimally.

Mammon: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words

——

Leviathan: I lost my fish.. :(

Beelzebub, cooking the fish: …Uhm…

——

Solomon: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.

Luke: Are you okay???

Solomon: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce. Pay attention.

Simeon: No, they mean other than that.

Solomon: Ohhhhhh.

Solomon: I haven't slept in 4 days.

——

Belphegor: Why were you up yesterday until 3am?

Mammon: How did you know I was up until 3am?

Lucifer: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.

——

Mammon: If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, MC!

*Neither of them die*

MC: …

Mammon: …

MC: So do you wanna talk about somethi-

Mammon: No thank you.

——

MC: How long do you reckon it’ll be until Simeon finally snaps and commits murder?

Solomon: I’ve been going through life assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to them.

——

MC: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship!

Mephisto: We’re not friends.

MC, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.

——

Asmodeus: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.

Satan: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them

——

Beelzebub: I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.

*Everyone stares at Beel*

Beelzebub: …I don’t even know what I was trying to say.

——

Asmodeus: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Satan: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

——

Luke: You know guys, sometimes I feel like Lucifer doesn't take me seriously enough.

Mammon: "Sometimes"?

Solomon: "Enough"?

Luke: …

——

Lucifer: Lord Diavolo? What are you doing here?

Diavolo, wearing a hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and holding a gatorade: My best.

——

Mammn: *is throwing stones at MC’s window*

MC: You have a phone for a reason, Mammon!

*THUD*

MC: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?!

——

Solomon: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way?

Asmodeus: Wait, what’s the difference?

Solomon: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

——

Solomon: Wow, they really hate us.

Asmodeus: Yea, perhaps they’re homophobic.

Solomon: But we’re not gay, Asmo.

Asmodeus: We’re not?

[handmeyourheart]

Headcanons

A couple of general angsty headcanons!

Characters: MK, Mei, Red Son, Tang, Pigsy, Sandy, Sun Wukong and Macaque!

Because I’m quintessentially evil and I wonder what kind of small behaviours they’d all have.

Warnings: Very Spoilerish!! I don’t recommend reading if you haven’t watched season 3, it may contain slight spoilers. Actually scratch that it definitely contains spoilers DONT read if you don’t want them.

Notes: Some may be a little ooc, but I try to stay true to them as a whole! It’s angsty headcanons, so they’re a little exaggerated on the scale I would actually use them for, but I tried to keep it pretty tame. Not all of these are headcanons that I will use when writing in future posts btw, some for sure maybe but others are definitely just angst for the sake of being angst.

Also gentle reminder my requests are open! Feel free to leave an ask!! It would be greatly appreciated. See my pinned post for more details!!

MK / Qi Xiaotan!

* I feel that as expressive as Mk usually is, the pressure he inwardly, albeit unconsciously places on himself is insurmountable, and after a certain point on their journey he starts bottling up a couple more of his conventionally minor concerns. He doesn’t want to feel too bothersome, more-so than what he’s already convinced himself he is to others.

* Sleep deprived. MK feels like the one who would constantly push himself, despite the better judgement and protest of his body and it’s need for rest he’d continue training long into the night, like he has to be good enough because he’s Monkey Kings successor. From what used to be an early to bed, late to rising— to a late to bed, late to rising. He likely wouldn’t get much sleep, his sleeping in often disturbed by others or his work.

* Seeks approval. Perhaps on a lesser scale to someone like RedSon, I feel like MK generally wishes that others would look up to him as a hero, and really spares no effort in that regard. That same inner need for approval is what causes him to exert himself more than he should for others, it’s something already seen when he lost a ton of hair making clones in order to satisfy his friends needs, if to a lesser extent.

* Abandonment issues. We know that MK has to bite his tongue when complaining about his mentors absence despite the critical time for key growth, but I think the truth lies behind a bit more than that. We know he’s in this orphan limbo where Pigsy and Wukong take it upon themselves to act like his dads because he’s seen to live at the noodle shop and that’s soft and sweet, but knowing he was either abandoned or his parents died must still be a big issue for him as he likely believes the former. He’s largely a super social kid, and his friends mean a lot to him, so having them leave (like Mei), to go off on their own must be excruciating behind his supportive and encouraging nature. He wants them happy more than anything, even if that means they have to leave for a while.

* I feel like to combat these frequent inner anxieties, MK developed a nervous habit of picking at his fingers until the skin around his nails get peeled off. By no means does it hurt him, I just think he would fidget with his hands when put on the spot.

Mei / Long XiaoJiao!

* If we are going to talk about Mei angst, I think above all we should talk about the Samaudi fire rings event. Practically most of her angstier headcanons could stem from it, so I think it’s the most crucial to mention. Firstly it’s massively traumatic, and is likely to leave large impressions on her, physically and mentally as from what we’ve seen, it hurts to wield all that power. It would have definitely altered her emotional wellbeing as well, the idea of accidentally hurting your friends when you can’t control shit must be so depriving, especially for someone like Mei who is so used to constantly being around her friends to a certain degree. She loves the gang, dearly, being unable to reach out to them like before must make her incredibly fearful of what she could do, even unintentionally to them. She’s always been strong, but this is way more than she can handle. She’s not really someone that ever seems vulnerable, but the damage it might cause her physical body and mental fortitude can’t really be overlooked.

* Truly empathetic. Mei is someone who stands up for others despite the risk involved, no matter if they’re a villain or a hero, she’s really outspoken. And while that doesn’t sound particularly angsty I feel like she weighs others concerns in a higher priority of her own too frequently, enough to maybe doubt when it’s okay for her to also require comfort or counsel. Especially as she has to go through more traumatic things, it gets more necessary to have someone to talk to, but she doesn’t want to burden anyone with that kind of responsibility.

* I feel like Mei would have a lot of scars, not any major or life threatening ones, but quite a large amount of just smaller or medium-sized scars. She wouldn’t exactly be insecure about them but they are a bit of reminder to her of what she could’ve done right or done better.

* Former-ish approval issues. I think all of the traffic-light trio deal with this in varying degrees of severity and in various ways depending on who they’re seeking approval from. Similarly to Red Son, her need to be accepted is family oriented: Even though at large she’s already proven herself worthy through using the sword, I feel like there lies a certain degree of doubt deep down if she truly is. Has she really been using it for good? Does she deserve to wield it if she uses it pretty recklessly despite her good intent? I think she would wonder if she’s been selfish with the way the sword is used, as it is an item to protect her family and those she holds dear. She would also likely worry that others would judge her for the way she’d used it, especially if it were her ancestors. Kind of like, ‘She can wield that super special heirloom not even we could and this is what she used it for? Unbelievable.’ type of beat. That’s among one of her greatest insecurities her family could pick apart.

Red Son / Hong Hai’er!

* Need for approval. Out of everyone, I feel like we’re all aware of how desperate Red Son is for gratification, it’s frequently seen from the pilot to season 2. A lot of that may be a bit of a trauma response from not having his dad present for the majority of his really impactful, crucial development years, so he desperately seeks his dads approval from the moment he returns. I think it’s less about ego, (though he has a lot of it), and more about an inner need for affection. From what we know or infer from the show, his parents do love him, actually to a large degree— but they don’t explicitly show it to Red Son in a way that he hopes for. Words of affirmation are strongly important to Red Son because he never received any congratulations for his efforts and achievements and he goes out of his way to spend quality time with his dad even if it means running a small spicy noodle place with him for a bit despite it not being the most enjoyable for his dad. He just really wants to know that he’s loved now because they weren’t always super present before.

* Self-esteem issues. An issue largely rooted in that same need for approval would be proficient self esteem issues, if he’s not properly fulfilling his tasks and assignments to the highest degree— he’s not doing it properly. If he’s not receiving instant gratification for his actions and praise for those said achievements, it’s not enough. This implication that if he’s not constantly succeeding has left lasting impressions on his esteem, he cannot stand the feeling of failure despite how constant it seems to occur. Each minor infraction is another late night as he stays up to correct his mistakes or work on his next great invention because if this one too doesn’t work, when is he going to believe he’s doing well? Are all of his inventions bad? It’s not their fault— he calibrated them all correctly, does the fault lie in him, the creator?

* Maybe a bit too much of a perfectionist. Though mentioned briefly before, Red Son would be a perfectionist by habit, if his inventions aren’t working it’s his own fault, the missions he fails are his own fault, so he works to no end to assure that success rates are any higher than possible— sparing no expense. This behaviour often leaves him sacrificing his own rest time, but unlike MK he was an early to bed, early to rising, and now a late to bed early to rising, cutting largely into his schedule because he expectantly wakes at the same time. When he sleeps however is often changed because of his late night escapades for materials and time he dedicates toward studying and researching new and innovative ways to improve. Often times this means he can go days without proper sleep, though he consistently hides that fact and avoids questions despite concerns being brought up to him about it.

* Very little emotional control. Though calm on the surface, he has only a little filtering or processing of heavy or extensive emotions. It can often be difficult to regulate and he can generally be rather sensitive and temperamental, which helps recognise his sleep deprivation. I also feel like he struggles with complex emotions from a lack of proper social interaction.

Tang / Tang Shifu!

* Low self-esteem issues. Though something that seems like a pretty common theme between all of them, it is a genuine issue because there isn’t much communication between characters to help resolve each others issues. Despite his philosophical and somewhat outspoken demeanour, we can see that Tang struggles with the idea that he doesn’t have value in comparison to others on the team, often mulled over in favour of someone who can do something practical with their skills or powers: of which, Tang didn’t have for the majority of the earlier seasons and up to 3. It’s hard to feel important among the special and unique, where you don’t stand out and are considered lacking in association with those who just seem to be on a foreign, distant level to you which you can’t even hope to achieve even a sliver of what they can. That’s how Tang feels on the regular, and on the off chance he does try to prove himself— it leads to dangerous and precarious situations he might even need to be rescued from. His only importance was that of knowing the history of the Monkey King with his detailed books, and it became obsolete when MK became more accustomed to his powers and Wukong was present to just inform them of the experience with genuine recollection.

* Again, I feel like Tang is just someone who’s constantly talked over among even his friends, but feels as though he can’t even make a complaint toward them due to his low self esteem— as though, because he’s useless he shouldn’t have an opinion and shouldn’t express often as if he should know his place and that because he’s valueless it isn’t his place to say anything or have any input. Though that’s just his own belief on the matter, it’s something he would just hold in, an unspoken inner worry even if the others express their concerns.

* He might be a bit of a sloth. Not in the way he is exactly lazy, I just feel like Tang is a character who doesn’t have the same motivation to get out of bed everyday like most others seen in the show. It’s more that it’s difficult to encourage him to do anything because he’s too consumed in the idea that everyone might hate or leave him because he doesn’t have the most practical utility and he might mess it all up for everyone. He would just be lethargic, like his body is coated in cement from the build up of negative insecurity, heavy and difficult to resist against no matter what he does, like swimming through quicksand. It’s a tedious concept to explain, but if you know the feeling, then you should be able to relate and understand this concept.

* It might just be my own personal HC, but I think Tang is the kind of a character who seems to have grown up a little too fast in his developmental years, resulting in a rather childish personality to emerge in response. A lot of Tangs past is quite the mystery, and we aren’t lead to believe anything other than him being the reincarnation of a certain monk as he starts discovering some of his own powers. He seems like his social needs were a bit neglected, so his only friends are limited to the group: him and his habit of taking free food largely revolving around the idea that it’s the only way to maintain his friendship with Pigsy outside the idea that they’ve known each other for a long time. Tang doesn’t want to be just another face in the crowd especially towards his friends. He just seems like the type to use his imagination to make friends, trying to be super social to make up for some attention he lacked from parents— if he actually has any.

Pigsy / Zhu Dachu!

* Scarred hands. As a chef, Pigsy’s hands are his pride and joy and his bare, most essential tool in the art of culinary. As much as he is a true professional, accidents occur frequently when you’ve got kids interrupting your time in the kitchen with their shenanigans every so often, it’s nearly unavoidable to have a couple slip-ups. Plus years of the art must have a lot of learning through experience, it’s inevitable to have them pretty roughed up no matter how light of an activity cooking is. Only those who’ve beaten dough into shape like a sergeant in the military for twenty years can dare to explicitly say otherwise. But it’s his passion, can’t get enough of it. The scars vary in size and shape, some are more faded and some more recent. His hands are weathered with experience but I don’t believe that’s necessarily a bad thing.

* Extended headcanon of above if you’re like me and enjoy the idea of causing characters you love grief and heartbreak— What if eventually he loses the ability to use his hands in order to cook? The heartbreak of losing what you’re most passionate about in the world ever? I think he would be utterly distraught, especially with how sentimental it has been for him and it being his entire career— he would be devastated to never use his hands to make something again. It’d be like tearing away his greatest talent, a husk of who he formerly was. But I don’t think it would really stop him, instead he’d live his passion through others— encouraging MK or Mei to try out his recipes, regardless of how inedible it might turn out, the point is that his passion for cooking wouldn’t rest even if you took away his ability to.

* He’s definitely a bit jealous of the new father figure MK has adopted, very easily and without much convincing mind you. He’s maybe a little bit worried MK doesn’t really consider him on the same level as Wukong even though he’d been the one to practically raise him thus far. It’s only a natural reaction, but I’m sure he’d involve a certain level of guilt knowing that it isn’t his choice on who MK wants to see as a father figure and he shouldn’t pressure him about it. He just feels that his position of his acting dad might be threatened by Wukong despite repeated reassurances. He’s aware that having such a disciple and master relationship is like a dream to MK but there’s an underlying fear that he can’t be considered on the same tier as the kids idol he’s had since childhood and that it might develop beyond that as they grow closer, casting Pigsy into the shadows. He just can’t convey that jealousy to MK because he’s uncertain it’ll make him seem immature and uncool.

Sandy / Sha Dali!

I apologise if Sandy’s one is super short I’m still unsure of how to go about writing him for the most part so I’m working my way towards it. I’m aware it isn’t super angsty but how could you ever make the big guy sad.

* Okay so my favourite headcanon for Sandy is that Mo, his cat, is actually an emotional support cat!! When he decided he wasn’t going to be super angry about things anymore and wanted to end his old ways of constantly fighting, I like to imagine that he went through several methods in order to find something that could soothe him. Getting Mo was among one of his last attempts and honestly he fell for the little guy instantly and now he’s coping with his emotions in a much healthier way. Sure, he might still have some difficulty with a fluctuating temper, but overtime he’s come to terms with the fact that it’s okay to be angry, and he’s working around making a positive environment that can let him feel things and still be alright and remain rational. He knows that his feelings are natural and he’s on his way to becoming fully in tune with them how he wants to be on his own terms. I think at some point he would’ve actually dyed Mo’s fur (though I don’t doubt it isn’t natural with lego physics) and styled him to match his owner so they could stay more connected and would be able to recognise him if he was ever lost. He’s really turned over a new leaf and Mo has very much become part of Sandy’s little family.

Sun Wukong / Monkey king!

* Alright, I think it’s time we got around to unpacking a couple of things from this jar of monkeys. Wukong has a massive guilty conscience over some of the shitty things he’s done. I don’t necessarily think he’s a bad person, truly I love the character but let’s genuinely consider some things for this particular section under a neutral perspective. We all know of his massive ego, and I think because of it specifically is why this is a guilty conscience issue and not a ‘I feel like I messed up, I really regret it and I should go apologise for it,’ issue. Wukong does not act mature despite his many years of living, (as much as I write that he does xx), he has largely made many mistakes and many of which he has come to overlook and regret as bad, yet he’s not taken any action to fix things. He is aware that he hadn’t been a good mentor to MK, though he is now actively taking the steps to amend his faults, he doesn’t want to acknowledge that his absence left lasting impressions, MK explicitly reminds him by asking why he isn’t trusted. He doesn’t really want to acknowledge his own faults as a mentor. This can again be seen via the fact he’s aware that he hadn’t been a good friend to Macaque either, yet instead doesn’t even reach out to him in an attempt to to make things right between them. Instead, he selfishly just considers him an enemy, knowing that he’d hurt Macaque by abandoning and casting aside their friendship the way he did.

* Unspoken trust issues. Sun Wukong likely has his own reasons behind why he kept things to himself despite knowing how it effected members of the group— mainly being that he genuinely believed he could take it all on by himself and he would figure out what to do later as it happens, as unorganised and improbable the likelihood had been— he was willingly sacrificial. And as much as one would consider MK and Macaque to be the ones with trust issues, Wukong was often tricked and lead around by the nose frequently in his mythology, and knowing that his story is technically canonic in the lego monkie kid lore means that he had to experience those things often.

* Underlying need to be considered high and mighty. Much like the kids, deep down Wukong just wants the same gratification as they do— with them as his opportunity to change for the better, he seeks out that approval for good, seemingly wanting to shed at least some of his negatively viewed trickster titles in order to pursue a better path with their help. I feel like he needs to be reminded and assured that he’s doing a good job and that it takes time for people to change their minds. He doesn’t want to be viewed negatively, just viewed as an equal to others on the most part, and not just some immortal demon monkey.

Macaque / Liu’er Mihou!

* Has frequent night terrors. If you’ve seen another post of mine then you’ll know I personally Hc Macaque to have frequent haunting dreams that plague him throughout the night, greatly inhibiting his sleep schedule and causing some great signs of sleep deprivation on the days this occurs. A lot of it is just memories of what Lady Bone Demon has done to him, or what she could do to him if he isn’t careful and others are just traumatic scenes that have greatly impacted him at some point. He often winds up lethargic and fatigued on the days where the severity of the dreams are worse he winds up having lost more rest than he gained, ridding him of any chance of wreaking havoc for the time being. The worst extent of these terrors may cause him sleep paralysis, which combined with vivid and realistic images can make it very difficult to maintain a healthy sleeping pattern.

* In the last couple episodes of season 3, we see Macaque gets his body partially hijacked by some of LBD’s magic, (arm, eye, a bit of his leg on the right side if I can recall), which I firmly believe cannot be good for him in any way, shape or form. This likely has left weird scarring in its place, maybe some discolouration of his fur or skin, whatever it may be. And if you’re like me, I would consider those scars massive sensitive bundles of nerves and tender flesh that cannot be healed by the average means, meaning that he is stuck with large vulnerable spots where damage is twice as excruciating if he is hurt in those areas. And that eye? How it had a big ‘ol cross? He would likely have some visionary defects, such as no longer being able to see through it to some extent. This would probably cause him a couple of issues with depth perception and learning to adapt to it.

* Trust issues. Alright it’s a bit generic and to be expected of Macaque, but to be cliche doesn’t necessarily mean to be bad, as long as it works and I’m having fun. Macaque does not open up to people very often anymore after his friendship with Wukong ended on a particularly sour note. From what we know, it was none to Macaques own fault— but the damage has been done and for the most part it’s irreparable. It cannot be undone. He’s unwilling to listen to reason and won’t lower his guard to anyone. Abrasive and coarse, he isn’t easy to get close to, not that he ever was to begin with, but lowering his guard is what left him vulnerable to getting hurt to begin with, he isn’t willing to expose himself like that again. Once was enough. He would consider himself nothing short of a fool if he were to let it happen again. Trust is a very fragile concept to him because Macaques’ need to feel secure, to protect himself, is so deeply rooted inside that it can make it hard to accept genuine kindness— most often immediately assuming it’s false or a blatant lie. It clouds his beliefs and immediately places grey tinted glasses over his eyes, he immediately assumes the worst of people because from his experiences, they usually are.

* Like Mei, I think Macaque would also have a lot of scars— he’s lived a long time, I wouldn’t be surprised by the amount of trouble he’s wound up in over its course. He does shifty work too, it’s nigh impossible that he wouldn’t have a couple injuries here and there, because let’s not forget that he’s not a good person and he would likely do some really shady things for some cash. He would have all sorts of scars, from large to small, thin to faded— they’re everywhere, he’s littered in them.

[another-whump-sideblog]

Jane’s Pets Pt. 45: What Doesn’t Kill Me…

TWs in the tags

Previous

Masterlist

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Sleep deprivation | Defiance | “Better me than you.”

“You smell bad.” You tell Kit.

“What?”

“You smell bad. Gross.”

They giggle, in the way that people do when they’re so sleep deprived that everything is funny. Soon, the sleep deprivation will hurt, but for now it feels like a warm blanket.

“There aren’t any showers down here. Maybe that’s how we can tell how much time has passed! How bad we smell!”

You cackle. It hurts your head, but you’re too tired to care. This is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard.

You’re glad your punishment for moving earlier isn’t too bad. Just one week of sleep deprivation, but it could be spread out among the three of you however you wanted. Kit said to give it all to them.

“Better me than you.” They said. “I can handle it better.”

You agreed to three days for you and four for Kit. Three days shouldn’t be too hard, and Kit won’t have to stay awake a full week.

Jane is having Dollie do “the boring part.” You and Kit are hooked to devices that will shock you if Dollie presses a button. Dollie has been instructed to shock the two of you if either of you fall asleep, and you know she will obey.

You’re still confused about why Jane gave that job to Dollie. “Why would shocking us be the boring part?” You ask.

Kit takes a moment to process your question. “The shocking part isn’t boring to her, but in order to do that with this specific punishment she’d have to watch us carefully for when we fall asleep. That’s boring.”

“Ohhhhh.” This feels like an incredible epiphany.

You stare at the ceiling. It seems to dissolve into patterns…

A shock hits you. It wouldn’t be that bad if the spasms didn’t make your head hurt.

“I wasn’t asleep! Kit- Kitty, were you asleep?”

Kit groans. “Maybe? I guess if you weren’t. Sorry.”

“It’s… It’s okay.”

Clearly, the ceiling isn’t stimulating enough, so you trace the scars along your arms. Something occurs to you.

“Wait, is Dollie- is Puppy going to have to stay awake the full seven days too?”

You have never seen the expression on Kit’s face before. “Bunny… first of all, it’s four days. Because we’re doing our days at the same time. Second, yes. I thought you caught on to that earlier. She won’t be punished for falling asleep, but she’ll be punished for not noticing if we fall asleep. So she’ll have to stay awake.”

You don’t like talking about Dollie like she’s not there. You look at Dollie. “Are you allowed to write or sign or anything?”

Dollie looks at you like you’re crazy.

“She used to be allowed to.” Kit says. “But Jane got mad at her for something - I don’t remember what - and she took that away too. But… Bunny. Is this the first time that idea has occurred to you?”

Your head hurts. “I don’t know. Sorry, I’m being dumb. I’ll shut up.”

“You’re not. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m worried, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear what you have to say. We’re all just tired.”

You nod and instantly regret it. The cloud of exhaustion over your mind isn’t dulling the pain anymore.

Kit points at the device in Dollie’s hands. “Give me that.”

Dollie shakes her head.

“She said that you’d be punished if we fell asleep. You can sleep, I’ll set the remote into a position where the remote will be pressed if I start to drift off.”

Dollie shakes her head again.

“I know she also said it was your job, but now you’ve done it. You’ve shocked us to keep us awake, you did the job. She never said only you have to do it. We can take turns. You can go to sleep.”

Dollie looks at the remote. She stares at it for a solid minute before tossing it to Kit, in a rare show of defiance.

You and Kit both cheer. Kit holds one of their arms out and balances the remote on their arm. “Hopefully, if it falls it’ll shock us. Or hopefully not. If Jane’s watching, we’ll probably get punished anyway.”

—

You and Kit talk in a desperate attempt to stay awake.

“We’re close enough now that I can just ask for your life story, right?” Kit asks.

“Probably.”

“So, like. What events lead you to following a powerful 12 year old away to a house in the middle of nowhere?”

“She gave me ice cream. And she seemed friendly enough. I mostly thought it was some kind of hallucination or dream, so it just felt like. ‘I might as well do this.’ Y’know? And I kind of figured-“ you burst out giggling. “I kind of figured that, whatever it was, my life couldn’t get much worse. Like, either I’d end up dying or things would get better. Those were the only two options in my head.”

Kit cracks up. “It didn’t occur to you that the 12 year old would torture you into being her pet?”

“Never occurred to me. If I could go back…” You trail off. You wouldn’t do it, right? But you can’t help but think that as awful as this is, you never would’ve met Kit and Dollie if you hadn’t come.

But you being here just gives Jane more ways to hurt them. “I’d never accept her offer, if I could go back.”

“Well, she’d probably take you anyway, so don’t feel too bad.”

You laugh. “True!”

“Well, you know what they say. What doesn’t kill me…”

Kit’s eyes flutter closed, and the remote falls to the ground. No shock comes. You grab the remote and push the button. Both you and Kit scream. Dollie jolts awake.

“Sorry, I’m sorry! I should’ve just yelled to wake you up, it didn’t even occur to me.” Dollie snatches the remote from your hand.

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not. None of this is fine.”

“I know, I know. Tell me about… your childhood, or your favorite book, or something.”

You try, but you keep forgetting what you were talking about or where you were going. Your head aches.

“What’s a song you know the words to? Let’s sing.” Kit suggests. You end up reciting ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star’ over and over.

—

Jane is here. When did she get here?

“Your three days are over, Bunny. Sleep.”

You don’t have to be told twice.

A/N: Let me know if I should tag anything else!

Tag list: @eatyourdamnpears @ghostsinthecloset @scp-1296 @fuzzybucketz

[silvercrane14]

FUCKING. RISE LEO AND DONNIE. ARE SO SLEEP DEPRIVED. At this point I can’t even remember if it’s canon or not but they’re both INSANE insomniacs, Donnie has a tendency to stay up for days on end hyperfixating on his work, subsisting only off of coffee, meanwhile leo just DOESNT SLEEP. also they’re incredibly TRAUMATIZED and I just KNOW leo is getting nightmares post Kraang invasion all the time

Oh my god,,, they deserve naps the poor kiddos

[inknopewetrust]

Oh baby part two thoughts:

(This is much shorter sorry but I’m very sleep deprived)

Ugh I forgot how much I dislike girls like Carol

THE HAND ON THE LOWER BACK - YES SIR I’LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT SIR

Jesus Christ Eddie I’m already in love you don’t need to pull out the leather jacket too

Oh Katie Yang you legend (unintentional wingmen *chef’s kiss*)

Oh fun little fact - I rewatched ST2 three times before realising Tina is Sarah Cameron from Outer Banks which was one of my favourite shows on Netflix for a while

I love this classroom reflection and Eddie’s little comments

“Could you imagine miss perfect and the freak having a baby?” FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF CAROL - I’VE ALREADY BOUGHT THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND CAR SEATS

Oof protective Eddie just hits different man

I wish we had seen more of the Hellfire Club in the show, the love they have for each other is so sweet and pure and I love those boys

Edward Bartholomew Theodore Munson IV you could ask me to walk around a sewer in my nicest white pants and shoes and I would ask for how long JUST ASK ME OUT

Good lord I do not miss Season 2 Stancy and god do I hope that’s not the direction they’re going in for ST5

Oh man being an Aussie - losing ONJ sucked but Sandy is a rite of passage - I’m pretty sure every Aussie girl has dressed like her at least once and that brings me some comfort

The Party in Season 2 are still so baby and I miss it

Yes YES - grovel Edward, beg for my forgiveness

“He looks so cool…” - so it was brotherly love at first sight for Dustin huh

And I love how you’ve depicted that even Eddie has some internal biases - he hates being called freak or hearing his friends being teased and yet he uses the nickname Zombie Kid for Will - it’s perfect characterisation

Fuck now I want kids with Eddie

Also I want to go watch Rocky Horror with the young adults of ST so bad - Nancy and Steve are Janet and Brad to a T (at least the first season)

I love men with long hair - bonus points if it’s curly - I can’t explain I just *clenches fist*

Bilbo not acting up so his parents can fall further for each other - love it

“I think I’m a Frenchie who wants to be a Rizzo.” - holy shit *incredible*

Oh fuck it’s all gonna go wrong at the party isn’t it

I CANNOT WAIT FOR YOU TO READ PART 3

ONJ is a cultural icon and as an American who grew up obsessed with grease because of my mom, having her legacy admired in my fic is my way of honoring her. I also wrote it before she passed so it makes it bittersweet.

Katie Yang is a fucking legend and she will come in clutch during part 3. Just you wait!

[ennaku-sirri-da]

Jimbit (Jimothan X Habit) HCs courtesy of me and Mika [Part 2]

OK so

@zeromet FOR YOU!!! (AGAIN YAY) [Plain text: For you!!! (Again yay)]

Also clarification here that sometime Kamal and Habit ‘open’ their relationship and Trencil is generally OK with his partner having other romantic partners AKA OK with polyamory. I guess they all worked it out ha

--At the end of a really good spaghetti western

Habit is doing the celebration stuff and so is jim and he straight asks jim if they can kiss ( I guess Trencil and Kamal would know by now that these two are gay for each other. They don’t really do anything they just let it happen naturally)

And Jimothan is so caught up in the moment he says yes and they kiss for way too long and then the credits come on and they panic

Habit immediately drives home with sleep-deprived nightmare-moon Kamal

Jimothan immediately offs all the lights and rolls into bed at 3 AM 

---Damn spaghetti western night goes on late!!

Imagine Jimothan and Habby watching the sun rise...sleeping on each other.

Habit uses Jim like a pillow so that he doesn’t squish him. He’d be so gentle with Jim because dude’s a noodle. Thats also just how Habit is and it flusters Jimbo!!!

--Anywaysss somewhere after The Kiss(TM), Jim and Habit just admit they like each other and then they date because they’re both straightforward like that ha.

--When Jim and Habit just start out as a couple its real awkward but they both have patience so its fine. Lotsa awkward laughs and scares. Maybe kamal and trencil needed to help wingman a little.

--Habit purpousefully loses their arm fights to Jimbo just to see the joy on his face and hear him laugh

--Jimothan calls Habit Tamil nicknames( My HC is that Jim and Pars are tamil like me!!) BUT[plain text: But] He doesn’t tell him what they mean or tells Habit a very unsapped version

From Kanamma to Kanmachan...

Kanamma means a woman\girl who is the apple of your eye! Machan means brother-in-law, but it is also casual slang for calling your guy-friends. 

Kanmachan is an entirely made-up mashup by me LMAO Machan of my eye.

Habit calls Jimbo his yeehawty

--They go on horseback riding dates( Borrowing Lulia’s horses cuz that girl is rich!)

old guys helping each other up on horses....🥺(pleading emoji)

....AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE HORSE OMG [Plain text: And there was only one horse omg]

(Lulia lies and says the others are too tired rn so theres only one they can ride)

(I owe you my life Lulia)

Habit is huge and Jimbo is short so Habit has to lift Jim up but only after Jim tries and fails himself

Jimothan almost falls and dies BTW but Habit catches him

[ Gif description: A man catches a woman in a dip like a dance. end GIF]

Unfortunately both Jim and Habit’s backs start hurting because of it and they roll around in the grass a bit for pain relief

Its incredibly romantic

the horse rolls its eyes but what does it know of romance hm?

--Habit: "bay-bee our loaf defies the lawls of physics 🥺(pleading emoji) " [translated: baby our love defies the laws of physics]

Just like a Kollywood movie!!

[ GIF: Scene from a movie. A guy drives a cycle and a big truck swerves to avoid him, bumping off of something hard and flying away at the end. end ID]

Big Habit X Jimbo vibes. I bet Jimothan has a big decorated truck. Its like his third kid( Nat is the second because Bloody Mary--Jim X Trencil are married! )

Habits like Jimothan can I😳(flustered emoji)sit beside you in your truck (*Pushes Parsley away)

Parsley is buff as hell so he could probably beat Habit up but he’s too tired so he just gets thrown to the back anyway.

[GIF: Scene from a movie. Police guy gets out of a moving car in slow motion and points a gun into the distance. end GIF]

Jimothan doing stupid shit to impress Habit^ 

‘‘Look I am a ‘Bad Ass’ like the Kids say’‘

Habits clapping and giggling and cheering for him while Pars already has his insurance on the phone.

More Jimbo stunts.

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

howard stern

I'M BACK BESTIES!!!!! i'm not totally back to my normal writing, but I finally got through a whole piece! anyways I really liked this and i hope you do too :)

warnings: howard stern being a bitch, talk of weight & body image

word count: 2.1k

"Hello Harry, how are you doing today?"

"I'm well, thank you," Harry answered with a smile. He was on the Howard Stern Show, his first interview since Stevie had been born. He hadn't really wanted to; Howard was kind of a prick. Everyone knew this, but Jeff was convinced this was the right move. He said it would be good for Harry to get back into the swing of things, and no one else was available on short notice. In the end, Harry only agreed because you had pushed him to, reminding him it wouldn't be a very long interview and then he wouldn't have to interact with the abrasive man again for a long time.

"That's good to hear," Howard said. "How have you been these past couple months? Have you been getting anything done?"

"Not much that's music related, honestly," Harry laughed. "I've been busy with family things."

"Yeah, you've kind of been hiding away from the world for a while here, what's that about?"

"Well, as I'm sure you already know, my wonderful wife had a baby recently, so I've been pretty busy... just navigating the world of fatherhood." A smile crept onto his face at the mention of Stevie.

"That's a lot, isn't it? Babies are awful at that age," Howard chuckled.

"Uh- I wouldn't say awful," Harry's smile dropped a little and he sighed internally. He already knew how the rest of this interview would go: thinly veiled insults, questions that were way too personal, and having to pretend he didn't want to get up and walk out of the room. But he knew that wouldn't be a very good look for him, so he gritted his teeth and tried to think of happy things. Specifically, the fact that he would get to go home to his wife and baby in less than two hours. "She's a very sweet baby, we're completely in love with her."

"Yeah, sometimes they're cute, but mostly they just cry and wake you up in the night, don't they?" Howard asked smugly, as if he knew Harry's baby better than Harry did.

"Well, of course she wakes up in the night sometimes. She's hungry, can't blame her for wanting food, can I?" Harry asked, trying to speak lightly and with a smile, but he could feel his patience slipping. He was ready to go home and he was not in the mood to pretend to be happy when this man was clearly insulting his child.

"Sure, I just wish babies could be a bit less annoying when they want something."

Harry nodded, plastering a smile that hopefully looked real on his face.

"So, besides the annoying baby, how's the family? Everybody healthy over there?"

Harry nodded. "Everybody's happy and healthy. A little sleep deprived, of course, but we're managing well, i think. And by we, I mean Y/N. She's truly... just amazing. I have no idea how she does it- she's the one keeping everything together. There's no way I could do any of this without her."

"Yeah, she seems pretty great! I remember though, at first we were all a little uncertain about her. She's not exactly like the other women you have a history with, is she?"

"She's-" Harry started talking, but Howard cut him off.

"I just mean, we were used to seeing you with models and actresses and the like, so it was a bit of a shock to see you with one of us commoners, you know?"

Harry huffed a small laugh, still trying to sound polite. "When you love someone, that's all that matters."

"Right, of course, but don't you get bored sometimes? You stopped going out so much when you got with her, almost like she was keeping you captive or something," He laughed.

"Are you asking me if my wife forced me to stop hanging out with my friends?" Harry squinted at the man.

"No, of course not, but..." He leaned closer with a malicious gleam in his eye, like he was about to hear some big secret. "Did she?"

"No," Harry said firmly. "She did not."

"Okay, okay, if you say so," Howard put his hands up, but then he leaned in again and spoke in an exaggerated whisper. "Blink twice if you need help."

Harry played it off with a laugh, crossing his arms over his chest.

"He's good," Howard laughed loudly. "Anyways, let's move on. Since you two are supposedly so happy-" He paused again, as if he expected Harry to cut it and give some dramatic confession about how terrible his relationship was behind closed doors. Harry only raised his eyebrows, signaling him to continue talking. "Tell us about that. When did you two get married again?"

"Almost 2 years ago," Harry said with a smile. "Our anniversary is coming up, actually, it's in 3 weeks."

"Oh wow, you guys moved fast with the whole kid thing, huh?"

Harry nodded. "We both knew we wanted kids and were ready to have them, so... yeah."

"Yeah, no point wasting time, right? How was Y/N after having the baby- Stevie, right?"

"Yeah, her name is Stevie," Harry smiled. "She was good. Again, she's amazing for going through that. She's- i'm just so lucky to have her."

"Did she bounce back right away?"

"I'm sorry?" Harry's brow furrowed.

"You know, did she get her figure back fast? I know that's a big issue for some women," He laughed again.

"Are you-" All traces of Harry's smile were gone now.

"I just mean, I hope she's working to get rid of the baby weight," Howard said casually, as if his words weren't extremely rude. "Just to make sure she can fit into her old clothes!"

Harry cleared his throat. He knew he had to speak very carefully, since this was something you had been very self conscious about. "Well, the two of us are concerned with the new life she brought into the world, not some old clothes, but she looks as beautiful as ever. The amount of pressure women face to live up to certain standards is disgusting to me, and it's especially bad for new mothers. My wife just went through an incredible process, she grew an entire human being in 9 months, then went through labor and the delivery, and she's being told to worry about her figure? That's wrong."

"Right, right, of course," Howard smiled, but Harry could tell he was annoyed at how he couldn't be tricked into speaking badly about his wife.

"I'm really over the whole thing, honestly," Harry said. "And I'm not even the one going through it."

Howard laughed nervously, seeming to finally take the hint that Harry was uncomfortable and annoyed with the topic. "Let's talk about your latest movie, why don't we?"

Harry was closed off through the rest of the interview; anyone could see that. He laughed less, his arms stayed crossed, and his answers were short. He was professional, but it went no farther than that. There was no more playful joking or easy conversation, just Harry trying to get through the interview as fast as he could. When it finally came to a close after his final song, Harry couldn't pack up fast enough. He made sure to say a polite thanks and goodbye before he hurried out to his car.

He sighed deeply before picking up his phone to call you.

"Hi baby!" your happy voice came from the other end. That was good, he assumed that meant you hadn't listened to the interview yet.

"Hi love," he smiled, his mood already improving just from hearing your voice. "Did you listen to the interview?"

"I have been- I couldn't right at the beginning, Stevie was crying, but I caught the end. Why?"

"Why was she crying?" Harry ignored your question, instantly worrying about his baby.

"Sometimes babies cry for no reason, Harry. She's okay, I promise. Anyways, what's up with the interview?"

Harry sighed. "Just the normal for a Howard Stern interview- he asked some very personal and rude questions. Just prepare for that."

"What else is new?" You laughed. "Are you coming right home?"

"Yeah, unless you need anything?"

"Nope, I think I'm good. See you soon!"

"Love you, bye," Harry said, ending the call and starting the car to begin the drive home.

-----

"I'm home," Harry called, removing his coat as he walked in the door.

"We're in here," you responded, not moving from your spot on the couch where you were nursing Stevie.

Harry walked in, a small smile on his face as he looked at the two of you.

"Hi," He sighed, plopping down on the couch next to you.

"That bad, huh?" You asked, taking in his dejected tone.

He hummed in response, leaning his head on your shoulder. "Those interviews are... always something."

"Yeah, I only caught the end, but you sounded pretty upset. What did he say?"

"He just..." Harry shook his head. "I don't think you should listen to it."

You turned your head to look at him. "Why not?"

"He's just very rude and pushy, as always."

"Yeah, i figured, but I wanted to hear your songs," you argued with a small frown. "Did he say something really bad, or...?"

"He just makes some very impolite comments about you and our family."

"Oh," You nodded lightly. "I think I'll be okay, baby. I appreciate you trying to protect my feelings, but I'm used to it at this point, and I really couldn't care less about his opinion of me."

"Alright," he sighed. "If you're sure." He pulled out his phone, checking his email and going through some messages while you started the interview from the beginning. You could hear him grumbling under his breath and huffing every time Howard said something rude, but you ignored it, just laying a hand on his leg to calm him down.

By the time it was over, Harry was clearly not too happy. "I can't believe I went back on that show," he shook his head. "I'm never doing that again. I'm so sorry about what he said about you, I honestly should have just left-"

"It's okay," you cut him off with a smile. "Also, it was kind of hot to hear you get mad at him."

"Yeah?" He smiled back. "I thought I was very tame, actually. I wanted to say some other things, but I figured that wouldn't be a very good look for me."

"Right, but the way you attacked him but stayed professional... very hot," you laughed, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," He smiled, turning his head to kiss your cheek in return. "Is she done? I really need to hold her after the day I've had," He sighed dramatically, throwing his head back.

"I'm sure," you laughed, handing Stevie over to him and pulling your shirt back into place. "She's all yours."

"Hi baby," he cooed, holding her close to his chest. "I missed you so much."

Stevie yawned in response, cuddling into him.

"Oh, you missed me too?" He grinned. "See that? She missed me."

"She did," You agreed. "She was looking around when she heard your voice on the interview, she wanted to know where you were."

"I'm sorry," he pouted down at her. "I'll never go away again, and I'll never let the bad man be mean to you again."

"I don't think she's too upset about it, Harry," you laughed. "She is only 3 months old. She didn't exactly understand anything that went on."

"Excuse me," he said, looking very offended. "She may only be 3 months old, but she's very smart."

"Right, she's a genius baby, how could I forget?"

"I don't know," Harry shook his head at Stevie. "How could she forget how smart you are, hmm?"

Stevie yawned again, stretching her arms above her head.

"She's ready to take a nap," you said.

"Can I just hold her? I know it's not a good habit, to let her be held to sleep, but I don't want to put her down yet," Harry said, looking up with such pleading eyes, you couldn't possibly say no. Not like you would have said no anyways, but he didn't need to know that.

"Of course you can," you stood up, kissing his forehead before you turned away. "I'm gonna do the dishes, then we can watch something if you want."

"No, let me do those," he immediately protested.

"Harry, it's okay, I haven't done anything around the house since she was born-"

"And I'm not about to let you start now," he cut you off. "Come back here, please? Let's start that new show we were looking at the other night."

"Fine, but later I'm going to help you with the dishes."

"Fine," he smiled, agreeing with your compromise, even though you both knew he would argue later. "Now come back here."

[astaroth1357]

Hi can I request the boys reactions to coming back and seeing that MC has snucked into their beds

The Brothers Find the MC Asleep in Their Bed

This is that other bed request. Back to my fluffy content! Huzzah!! I was a fidgeting mess on that last one… If it wasn't in second person I probably would have never gotten through it… 🤦‍♀️😅 Amazing how distancing the pronoun "you" can be when you're writing: "Oh no, this ain't happening to me, it's gonna happen to you. I dunno what to tell ya." 🤷‍♀️ I give my props for this to one to my favorite jazz singers, Nicki Parrot, and her rendition of I Won't Last a Day Without You.

Intro:

If you're missing someone and, presumably, you have a fairly intimate relationship then something you can do is stay in their bed. Sure, your loved one’s body may not be next to yours but the familiarity can help soothe that aching heart… So when the brothers were away from the House for a few days, it wasn't totally unreasonable for the MC to sneak a night or two in their favorite demon's bed.

If only they had known said demon would come home early… 

Lucifer

It was a looong trip for him. Lucifer only goes up to the human world for business reasons and usually he has to bring Mammon to keep an eye on him, which he also swears ages him by a century each time he does… 

When he retired to his room that night he wasn't really looking to talk or interact with anyone, not his brothers and not even the MC. He just wanted to go to sleep…

He wasn't expecting to find his human curled up under his sheets, though. And without him there no less.

Had it been another day, he might have just woken them up and sent them away or slept somewhere else but that night, after the trip he had, he felt so… loved all of sudden...

His brothers never miss him when he leaves. They give him the usual welcoming rigmarole when he gets back, "Good to see you, how was the trip?" that kind of thing, but he can tell they're all disappointed that he's back to discipline them again…

But here was the MC, apparently wanting him back so much that they'd risk breaking into his room just to feel close to him again… It's honestly good he was the only conscious soul in the room because if anyone else had seen the look on his face, he'd have to start erasing some memories again.

He changed clothes quietly before getting into the bed himself, careful not to jostle them too much. Only once he was settled in, did he give them a tender kiss to their forehead and finally got a good night's sleep...

Mammon

Look, he never asks to be dragged along with Lucifer on his business trips! It's a pain in the ass for everyone involved so he was more than happy to be home...

So happy in fact, that he didn't think to check his bed before he went sailing into it face first…

When he didn't feel the cushion of his mattress below him, but what felt like muscle and bone, he screamed. Which caused the MC to shoot up from under his covers and scream right back at him.

The two dummies screamed at each other for about five seconds straight before it clicked that neither even knew what they were screaming about… 🙄

"MC?!? The hell are ya doin'?! This is my bed, ya know??"

Oh was he tickled pink when they told him they came there just 'cause they missed him so much… Of course they'd miss the Great Mammon! Anybody who got to spend that much time in his presence would eventually! And he had been missing them so much he could hardly see straight anyway...

"Geez, is that all? Well fine! You can stay the night, but only for tonight! … I mean, unless ya want to stay longer or somethin' crazy like that….. You want to, doncha?"

And that's how the MC ended up spending the next week in the arms of their first man… and getting a pretty good bruise on their shoulder too from Mammon's thick skull slamming into it.

Leviathan 

He was coming back from a three-day convention and boy was he tired… There's only so much excitement an introvert can withstand for that long without shutting down completely...

His first clue that something was a little off was his door. It was unlocked. Since he was positive he locked it before he left, he was already on edge... Mammon was in there stealing his stuff again, wasn’t he??

He had his demon form already out when he threw the door open, expecting to have to chase out a thief, but instead he found the MC's arm sticking out of his bathtub-bed.

Cue an incredibly flustered Levi. Did the MC really want to sleep with him? A yucky otaku?? Did they miss him that much?? For a brief moment, he hit cloud nine and beyond.

Levi was frozen in his doorway for a good five minutes, too afraid to walk in and possibly disturb them, before he finally tiptoed to have a look in the tub.

…. He may or may not have snapped a picture when he saw them snuggled against his Ruri-chan body pillow… So what if that's a little creepy??? You're creepy!!

There wasn't really a good way for him to squeeze in with them so he settled for pulling his computer chair over and taking their outstretched hand in his own...

He stayed like that all night until the MC woke up to find him passed out next to them, head rolled back in the chair but still holding their hand with laced fingers...

Satan

He hates going to the human world with Lucifer, even though he acknowledges that he's better behaved than the others for it. That doesn't change the fact that he'd much rather be back in his room with a good book...

He just wasn't expecting the MC to share his sentiments so… identically?

After his trip to Paris with Lucifer, Satan dragged his bags back into his room and expected to at least get another hour of reading in before his mind finally caught up with his body… But to his surprise, his bed was already occupied.

The MC was half-under his covers with their head wedged into the corner of the wall above his pillows, sound asleep… A stray book sat by their hand, one of his favorites too judging by the cover.

He felt the warmth of a chuckle escape his chest… How many times had he woken up in that exact same position? It was almost like they missed him so badly they tried to be him for a while... It was all too cute for words…

He put aside getting some sleep just long enough to take care of his MC, gently moving their body back under the covers and setting the book onto one of the endless stacks that surrounded his bed.

Only once he had them placed into a more comfortable position did he change his clothes and take the spot in the bed next to them…

The MC woke up very much not how they fell asleep… but trading out a good book in their hand for a warm bookworm against their body wasn't a bad deal now, was it?

Asmodeus 

He was on one of those long self-care retreats and though, yes, it was a good time he really needed a good nap after such a long trip… He was even considering shortening his nightly routine for once.

When he came into his room, he was ready to just faceplant into his pillows until he spied MC's head poking out from under his covers…

He squealed, but not out of anger or fright. No, no. He felt nothing but Pure. Joy. His heart was soaring and he could have sang, he was just that happy!

His human missed him so much that they just needed to wrap themselves up under his covers?? Well, of course they would wouldn't they? There's no good substitute for Asmo and he knows it.

His literal shriek made the MC shoot out of his bed and try to apologize but he just tackled them back down, wrapping his arms around them in a vice grip of adoration. He was not letting them back down now. It was cuddle time!

In truth, their sudden appearance shocked Asmo awake for about another hour, which he spent snuggled up to his MC and babbling about his trip. He did eventually lose steam though, falling asleep soundly with his head snuggled into the crook of their neck.

The lovey mood was dampened slightly when he woke up and realized he hadn't done any of his routine the night before, but since the MC was still resting in his arms he decided that, just this once, he didn't need to rush it...

Beelzebub 

Beel's team had just come back from a long tournament trip and, for the first time ever, he could say that he was more tired than he was hungry…

Belphie was really happy to have his twin back, but this time he was kind of ignoring his brother's excitement as his mind zoned in on his bed… He almost didn't notice the MC was even in there until he pulled back the covers to climb in himself. 

His poor sleep-deprived mind had to take a minute to catch up… This was his bed wasn't it...? 😰

"Beel? Is that MC?" "... I think so?" "Why are they in your bed?" "I don't know… Maybe they just wanted to sleep here?" "... Uh-huh. Hey, Beel, I know you're tired. How about you just take my bed instead since it's free? I'll take yours tonight."

Since he was so exhausted, Beel almost considered the offer until he noticed the resentful pout on Belphie's face... Oh. Right. The MC probably wanted to sleep with him. That meant they must have missed him… That thought alone gave Beel a warm, fuzzy feeling like he'd just taken a giant gulp of hot cocoa and he just couldn't help his groggy smile.

"No… This is fine." "But-" "I don't mind, Belphie. Goodnight."

He didn't give his jealous twin any more room to argue before he climbed into bed next to the MC, nestling them close to his chest as if he was welcoming them home instead. And in his last moments of consciousness, Beel promised himself that they'd wake up just like this too…

Belphegor 

Belphie tends to hate trips about as much as Levi, especially ones where Beel or the MC can't come along... Too much hassle and all his brothers make so much noise…

When he finally got back from the trip Lucifer dragged him into, he only had one thing on his mind. Sleep. His bed was calling to him, that's where he needed to be… and the MC too, apparently?

He was honestly a little caught off guard to find the MC in his bed... The attic bed? Sure. That was their cuddle space and it was practically sacred ground at that point. But the bed in the room he shared with Beel...? They didn't stay there very often…

Which meant they weren't in his bed just because they wanted to sleep. They wanted him… Had they been awake he might have had something smug to say, but without any audience to save face to he just felt somewhat honored…

There wasn't a day that went by where Belphie didn't regret the things he'd done to them, even during the quiet moments where they assured him that they'd forgiven him for it... Seeing them there in his actual bed proved something, they chose him. No one else. 

He didn't think twice about crawling under there next to them, he even got into his usual position by their side on instinct. But this time, for a minute or two, he just watched their sleeping form peacefully and counted himself lucky to even be there…

When the MC woke up to Belphegor wrapped around them, an adoring smile nuzzled into their neck, and they just had to wonder if the mere act of sleeping alone was all they’d ever need to summon their demon home...

[dreamologisth2o]

Why I Believe Endersmile Is Canon

Because I’m on a bit of an Endersmile binge--

This is all gonna be very messy and just me putting my thoughts together and I’ll probably not be going through the VODs for exact timestamps or anything because that’s exhausting and I applaud the people who do, but here are my thoughts on Endersmile and why I’m 100% convinced it’s canon. They’re besties your honor.

/rp Any names mentioned are referring to their dsmp characters and not the streamers themselves unless specified

First off: The Disc. Dream trusts Ranboo, a lot. He trusts him so much that he literally gave Ranboo one of the two discs he needed to pull off his big plan at the finale. He trusted Ranboo, so much that Ranboo deciding to give the disc back to Tommy or Tubbo wasn’t an option, even though Ranboo was friends with both, which he knew. I don’t know why he gave Ranboo the disc, or how he got the disc from Skeppy in the first place, and I’m sure he did have a hundred and one back up plans for if Ranboo did decide to give Tommy the disc, but asking Ranboo to hold onto the disc in the first place means Dream trusted him to a degree, and that’s big coming from Mr. “Reserved”.

Second: Knowing Dream’s Voice. Ranboo knows/remembers Dream’s voice well enough that he hears it whenever he’s in the panic room, that his subconscious uses Dream’s voice to force Ranboo to confront his fears. For a guy who hasn’t had any one on one time or conversations with Dream in VC on stream, he sure does a really good job imagining his voice. /s 

Basically, they must have spoken, a lot. They must have spent time together outside planning for things or exchanging items or whatever. So much time, in fact, that Dream and Ranboo both end up sharing the same ideology of “People not sides” of “One big happy family” of “Being the person that stops conflicts” of “Being on all sides” of “Mediating between those sides” of “Choosing the side they think is right”. 

During Ranboo’s prison visit dream/nightmare, the Voice tells Ranboo that the only reason Ranboo hasn’t been hearing it lately, is because he hasn’t been speaking with Dream as often. That Ranboo and Dream had talked with each other nearly everyday. And I’m inclined to believe that because the mere existence of the voice proves he’s heard Dream’s voice a lot, or he has a very good memory of Dream’s voice, which, considering his memory problems probably isn’t the case. This is further supported by how ever since Dream’s been in prison, ever since Ranboo banned himself from the prison, he hasn’t heard even a hint of Dream’s voice, not even as he’s remembering more and more.

Third: The Disc War Finale. During the disc war finale, we have in universe proof and out of character confirmation from both cc!Dream and cc!Ranboo that the characters had been staring at each other during the entire thing. Some friends on a discord server have also pointed out how Ranboo appeared to be avoiding Tommy’s gaze unless Tommy’s distracted. And during the entire thing Ranboo’s the only one not holding out a weapon, instead he’s got a book and quill in his hand. We’ve now also got confirmation that Ranboo was Enderwalking during the Disc War Finale, which makes all the strange behaviors make sense because if they’re friends, if they’re allies, then Ranboo didn’t show up to fight Dream. Then Dream might’ve been trying to convey something to Ranboo, like perhaps trying to keep Ranboo from doing something stupid and revealing their alliance. Especially if he planned on being put in Pandora, he really doesn’t need his friend to try and “save” him and ruin the whole plan.

Fourth: The Voice. I am inclined to believe the things the voice says. Why? Because everything the voice is talking about are all the things Ranboo doesn’t want to confront, doesn’t want to see, doesn’t want to remember. The voice isn’t malicious. It’s not even Dream, it’s just using Dream’s voice to make Ranboo listen. And Ranboo knows it’s just himself. (also out of character confirmation from the cc!s that the voice is NOT Dream and never has been, it’s just a manifestation of all the shit Ranboo’s repressed coming up and slapping him in the face) Everything the voice does, all the things it says, is trying to get Ranboo to remember the “bad” things he’s done, to remember that he was on Dream’s side. To force him to face that side of himself that might be capable of doing bad things, if there’s a good enough reason. It exaggerates things, it makes them out to be worse than they actually are, but that’s how it’s able to get Ranboo’s attention, that’s how it’s able to force him to think about those things. Ranboo won’t do anything until he’s forced to face the problem, the Voice is just trying to get Ranboo to do that.

This is why I believe Ranboo DID blow up the community house. Why he’s working with or has worked for Dream in the past. Why he willingly gave Dream his memory book, possibly to create a visible conflict between them and ensure no one would connect them as allies, like what Dream wanted to do with Punz. And also because the other things it’s said, such as Ranboo being given the Cat disc to hold onto, have been proven to be true. Nothing the Voice has said has been confirmed a lie. And many of the things it’s talked about aren’t things we or Ranboo can find the answer to unless he talks to Dream, which is until the dude’s rescued from the prison, isn’t happening. (cc!Dream where’s your Dream lore?!?!?!)

That said, if Ranboo was the one to blow up the community house, then Dream was covering for him during the Disc War Finale. He didn’t have to. He could’ve thrown Ranboo under the bus. But he chose to take on that blame, make himself look even worse in the eyes of everyone gathered there while he was at their mercy, to protect Ranboo from similar persecution. Doesn’t this remind you of anything? And Ranboo’s got a track record of making friends with those who help him.

Fifth: The Visits. Ranboo has visited Dream in prison multiple times. At the very least at least 2 times that we have direct confirmation of, and probably even more. His visits are consistent enough that just a few days after Ranboo bans himself from the prison, Dream notices and starts a strike, tells Sapnap that Ranboo’s stopped visiting, asks him, his best friend who literally threatened to perma-kill him if he were to ever leave his horrible situation, to send a message to Ranboo. (which, I guess Dream still kinda trusts Sapnap despite everything that’s happened, huh?) 

Why would Ranboo visit? Unless they’re friends, unless they’re allies? Because even Dream’s so called best friend only ever visited once. Even Bad who Dream claims to have been the nicest only ever visited once. And while Tommy and Quackity visited more than once, their multiple visits have very clear reasons behind them, while Ranboo’s just, don’t. 

And consider: How did Ranboo know about the things that were said during the Disc War Finale, word for word, line for line, that he wasn’t present for, unless someone’s told him? Unless he heard about it from Dream himself. Unless that was what they were talking about. Unless that’s part of the reason Ranboo kept visiting Dream. 

Sixth: The Lessons. I don’t know about you, but giving life lessons to someone sounds like something you’d do with a friend, and not just a “puppet”. The whole lessons book gives off really mentor mentee vibes, and considering how Ranboo’s following in Dream’s goal of stopping conflict and uniting the server, well. And the lessons aren’t even malicious, or designed to push Ranboo away from others. In fact, many of them, especially the last few ones we see, are designed to protect Ranboo! Unless Ranboo’s safety was a top priority for Dream, there’s not much reason to pass those lessons down. This lines up incredibly well with Dream taking the blame of the community house’s destruction during the Disc War Finale, as well as his protective streak at his own expense when it comes to his allies and the people he cares about. Which means Ranboo is someone he cares about, which means they’re friends! They’re besties your honor!

Seventh: Ranboo’s Vehement Denial. Ranboo is infamous for being an unreliable narrator, for being in incredible denial despite all evidence supporting otherwise. Which means his vehement denial that Dream can be anything but bad is a fairly obvious red flag that that’s not true, and that Ranboo has reason to believe it’s not true, but chooses to actively ignore or forget those reasons and attempts to reinforce the “everything’s Dream’s fault, he can never change and will always be bad” mentality, that sounds like something he stole from Tommy or c!Dream antis, because he doesn’t want to face the fact that he has reasons for believing the opposite. At this point, I am 100% on board with the idea that all these unprompted instances of Dream hate is just a blatant cover up of how that’s not true at all. (Which he touches on, ever so briefly, when he renovates the second stronghold room)

Aaaaand that’s it! For the most part. I could touch on how Enderboo is hoarding all the backbone in this relationship and that the dynamic between Enderboo and Ranboo is closer to that of someone waking up after a sugar high or going for three days straight without sleep than it is two completely separate people or someone who’s literally sleepwalking (and that “Enderboo” is his normal state and “Ranboo” is the sleep deprived not thinking straight state). But this post is already obscenely long and I should end it here. 

TL;DR: They’re besties, your honor.

Anyways, if you got this far, thanks for reading!

[hxseok-honee]

blossom || part 12

blossom [part 12] || I'm happy being okay

[‘cause all i need is to see you blossom out, blossom out, blossom out]

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a/n : i have no idea who i love more!! hobi or yoongi!! no idea!!!

_______________________________

When Y/n wanders across the grounds later that morning, just past 7am, she’s checking her phone to make sure she’d read Hoseok’s text properly.

The forest? What the hell could we have to do there this early?

Convinced her sleep-deprived mind is playing tricks on her, she almost misses the head poking out from the treeline just ahead, followed by the body of a tall boy she’s come to be very familiar with.

“Y/n!” Squinting at the person with burning eyes, exhausted out of her mind, she finally sees that it’s Hoseok. He’s waving excitedly, arm stretched high over his head as he uses his whole body to beckon her over. He’s got a thermos in his free hand, which he holds out to her once she stumbles over to him. She takes it curiously, so he reaches out and uncaps it for her while he explains.

“I woke up this morning expecting to see you and Yoongi still passed out in the common room, but you were gone! And when I checked my phone, I saw you guys had stayed out instead of going back to Slytherin, so I figured you haven’t slept.” Pulling away with the cap in his hand, he points into the open container with a smile, so she peers into it. Hot steam billows out, followed by the smell of freshly brewed coffee. She looks up at him, a gesture of appreciation on the tip of her tongue, but he only waves her off.

“Not all of us can be energized by life -- some people are weak and require caffeine.” He grins impishly when she scoffs, the gratitude gone as she reaches out to nudge him with her elbow.

“Well, this weak human thanks you for supplying her with her daily fix.” Hoseok grins widely, his smile bright and pleased, and she’s amazed, as she tends to be, that he can be so infectiously happy all the time.

“Anything for you, Y/n -- besides, I need you awake and alert for today’s activities!” Lifting the thermos to her lips, she sips straight from the bottle, savoring the heat it brings her in the cold November morning. She doesn’t respond while she drinks, only raising an eyebrow questioningly at him. He lets out a small giggle, waving her into the forest as he heads back to the trees. She sees then that he’s got a backpack on, seemingly empty. She assumes it’s bottomless, one of the many everyday conveniences of being a wizard. Swallowing her coffee, she hums at his back while she follows.

“What are you hiding in there?” He glances at her over his shoulder with a shy smile.

“Patience, Miss Y/l/n.” Rolling her eyes with a smile, Y/n decides to just trust the sunny boy in front of her. While she follows behind him, she notices that she recognizes this path, an inkling that’s confirmed when they finally step into a clearing they’d only been in one other time. She gasps, the sound loud in the quiet morning, and Hoseok turns to walk backwards while he talks to her, his smile wide.

“I told you Wiggentrees grow fast, didn’t I?” Just there, in the middle of the clearing where they’d planted a seed not a few days prior, is the sapling of a tree, almost 4 feet high now. It’s clearly taken root, growing steadily in the bright, open space, the sun’s rays coming down prettily on it as it sways gently in the breeze. Hoseok watches with a fond smile as Y/n heads for it with wide eyes, passing him with a quick glance in his direction, her expression full of wonder.

“But we just planted it! It was just a little mound of dirt, like, 72 hours ago!” Hoseok nods, knowing she can’t see it.

“It’ll be fully grown probably within the week-- ah ah!” He steps in quickly when he sees her nearing it, hooking his fingers into the hood of her sweater and stopping her from getting any closer. She looks back at him in confusion, comically child-like as he holds her hood up behind her. “I know you love bowtruckles, but I promise they’re not as cute when they’re doing their job.” He gestures with his chin down at the ground around the tree sapling, and when she follows his eyes, she sees there are two little green heads poking out from the dirt, tiny eyes peering up at her cautiously. She lets out another quiet gasp, enamored by the little creatures.

“I didn’t even notice them… they usually have leaves sprouting out of their heads…” Hoseok releases Y/n while she talks, her voice nothing more than a whisper as she crouches to get a closer look at them. She hears Hoseok settling down on the ground beside her, and when she turns to him, he’s setting his bag in his lap and opening it. Reaching inside, he pulls out what looks like a metal breathmint container, small enough to fit in his palm.

Glancing up at her, he pats the ground next to him, an invitation. When she sits next to him, her back is straight and she’s got her hands in her lap, cradling the thermos of coffee as she looks at him attentively, waiting for him to direct their next move. It makes him smile sweetly, seeing her trust his expertise in herbology so fully. He hands her the container silently, explaining in a low voice when she looks at it curiously.

“I thought you might like to do the honors -- they’ll like you a lot more if you’re the one giving it to them… they might even remember you later on.” Popping the lid open, she sees that the mints once inside have clearly been eaten, the container kept for storing something else -- wood lice, to be exact. The small black insects squirm around inside, still alive, and Y/n can’t even begin to wonder how Hoseok had acquired them so fresh.

“How…”

“Growing up a plant nerd in a muggle household made it pretty easy for me to be fascinated by magical plants and their inhabitants once I got here… you wouldn’t believe how often I have to pick wood lice from the plants at my apartment when I go home.” Y/n blinks down at the little bugs before turning to Hoseok, a question about what he'd just said lingering on the tip of her tongue. He gestures to the two bowtruckles when they make eye contact, continuing the conversation before she can ask, and she wonders if he’d seen her curiosity and purposely avoided it. It seems distinctly unlike Jung Hoseok to hide something, but she lets it go when he starts talking.

“They’re still babies, by the way -- you were curious about not seeing the leaves on their heads… They’re still taking root, just like the tree…” He trails off, pointing to the container of wood lice in her hand. “But those are their favorite -- they’ll love you for sure if you give them that.” Glancing back down into the metal tin, Y/n smiles, finding it incredibly endearing that Hoseok had brought her out here just so she could befriend the bowtruckles.

Reaching out without a word, she tips the container slightly, letting the wood lice roll out onto the fresh dirt around the Wiggentree. The two baby bowtruckles had disappeared back underground in the time she and Hoseok had been talking, having apparently decided that these large humans were no threat to the tree as long as they stayed away. Now, they poke their heads back up, honing in on the meal laid out before them. Hoseok and Y/n watch quietly as they clamber out from beneath the dirt, crawling over to the wriggling lice and scooping them up in tiny arms. They return to their burrows to eat in peace, and Hoseok turns to Y/n while they wait, opening up his bag with excitement.

“So! I brought you out here to make evil stick bug friends, but I also thought it could be nice to do this, too.” Y/n watches with a sip of her coffee as he retrieves an entire wicker basket, contents covered with a damp paper towel. He sets it down next to her, smacking the back of her hand lightly with a playful glare when she tries to peek inside. “Patience, I said.”

Y/n rolls her eyes, unable to stop the smile that spreads across her face when she hears his quiet giggle, his joy truly infectious. He reaches back into the bag, setting out two pairs of scissors, a stack of twine, and a roll of thin, green tape. He does allow her to pick that up while he sets his bag down, explaining with a small smile.

“It’s floral tape… kinda like washi tape for flowers, I guess.” Y/n spins the roll around on her pointer finger, humming in contemplation as she puts the pieces together.

“So, you brought flower tape, flower wire, flower scissors, and--” She points at the covered basket with an inquisitive look. “--fresh flowers? Hopefully?” Hoseok smiles sheepishly, peeling the damp towel back from the basket, revealing a variety of flowers, all different types and colors.

“Welcome to the Jung Hoseok Flower Crown Process?” He waves his hands dramatically, but his voice is hesitant, like he’s unsure if she’ll even like this idea. It makes her smile, the fact that he’d gone out of his way to let her into this private part of his life even though he’s insecure about what she’ll think. Peering into the basket curiously, she picks out a small purple flower, twirling it between her thumb and pointer finger carefully.

“You know I won’t be able to do this as well as you do, right?” Hoseok smiles, some of the tension leaving his shoulders as he sees that she’s clearly curious and not about to tell him she thinks this is dumb.

“Don’t worry about how it looks! It’s just… kind of like my puzzles, in a sense -- a good way to sit and not think for a while. It helps me process whatever's going on in my head without the actual... processing part.” He grabs the stack of twine, running a length of it into a circle between his fingers before snipping the end with scissors. Tying the ends together, he reaches out and sets the crown of wire experimentally on her hair, smiling when he sees that he’d guessed at the size of her head properly. “After the night you had, I figured we could either talk about it while we do this, or we could just do this and not talk about it… up to you.”

Y/n stares at Hoseok while he goes back to his twine, unrolling a bit more and snipping when he thinks he’s got the right size of his own head. When he ties it together and sets it on his hair, she snickers -- it’s too small, sitting on his head like a little hat instead of a crown. He breathes out an embarrassed laugh, the tips of his ears going red when she takes it from him, switching it out for her properly sized one.

“Allow me the privilege to make your tiny crown into a really ugly tiny crown?” He smiles at her request, nodding as he lays out some of the flowers on the ground before them.

“It would be my honor to wear your really ugly tiny crown.”

--

“Okay, and then you just twist it… around… like this-- okay no, not like that-- you know what? It’s perfect, Y/n. I love it.” Y/n groans loudly when Hoseok laughs, shaking his head at her poor recreation of his work. The crown he’s making is a perfect mix of purples and blues, some white flowers peeking through to create a nice winter arrangement. Hers is… not quite the same. The colors are there, but the flowers hang lamely off of the twine, very obviously not secured to the wire despite Hoseok’s best attempts to get her there.

It’s close to 9am by now, and they’ve been working at the flower crowns for almost an hour already -- there are two finished ones next to Hoseok, but Y/n’s still on her first, having started and restarted a million times to try and get it right. The baby bowtruckles sit perched on her shoulders, having decided not long ago that she was worthy of their affections after the meal of wood lice. They croon quietly, swaying in the wind as they watch her work -- she knows they’re not particularly engaged in her struggle, but she definitely feels like they’re judging her right now.

She watches as Hoseok ties up the ends of his third crown in an hour before offering the loose bits of flower in his palm to the bowtruckles. They lean in curiously, climbing into his hand and picking at the purple petals with small sounds of interest. He smiles down at them as he lifts his hand to Y/n’s shoulder, helping them return to their previous spots so they can examine their new possessions. Y/n watches him closely, not even realizing she’s staring until he’s meeting her eyes self-consciously.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Y/n blinks, biting at the inside of her lip with a shake of her head.

“Just wondering how I happened to meet someone as lovely as you.” Hoseok’s flushing red almost immediately at the unexpected compliment, and it makes Y/n laugh quietly. “You know, you can be pretty shy when you want to be, Hobi.” He purses his lips, twiddling his finished flower crown between his thumb and pointer finger as he thinks.

“I’m not really used to having friends… this is kind of the first time I’m doing any of… this, I guess.” He gestures vaguely to their setup, but Y/n notices that he’s mostly gesturing between the two of them, and she sees that by ‘this’, he’d meant them.

“How’d a guy like you go 7 years without making any close friends?” She curses herself as she asks -- she hadn’t meant to be insensitive, and she certainly hadn’t meant to word it like that. But Hoseok only smiles, his eyes taking on a faraway look as he stares down at his lap.

“It’s funny… that question used to bother me a lot. Especially first year.” Y/n groans internally, dropping her head to her chin in shame at her own idiocy. The bowtruckles let out quiet complaints, disgruntled by her sudden movement. Hoseok chuckles under his breath, reaching out and setting his finished crown on her head when she lifts it to eye him cautiously. “Don’t worry, I’m not upset. I just thought it was interesting.” He takes another pause, humming while he thinks about how to explain this to her.

“My life… has been remarkably unremarkable. I’m healthy, I study hard, and people generally like me without trying too hard to get close to me because I’m a little weird.” He lists these things as facts, even going so far as to tick them off on his fingers while he talks. Y/n finds herself disagreeing silently, thinking of no less than ten different things that make him undeniably remarkable. But she doesn’t say anything, letting him finish.

“It’s kind of a blessing in disguise -- no news is good news right? So, if there’s nothing important to say about me… then that means I’m doing enough to get by successfully. I’m okay where I’m at, and I’m okay whether I have people… or not.” Y/n furrows her brow, entirely confused by him.

“But being okay isn’t the same as being happy.” He blinks when she says it, not having expected the way her voice wavers, the way her eyes fill with an emotion he can’t place right away. If she’d been anyone else, he would have mistaken it for pity. But it’s not. She seems upset, like she’s frustrated that she’s trying her best to understand him and failing. It makes him smile -- no one’s ever tried that hard.

“What if I’m happy being okay?” He lets it slip out, fully aware that it’ll only upset her further -- how could it not? She’s so different than him, someone who isn’t satisfied just letting things happen around her. It’ll confuse her, the way he sees his own life, and he figures it won’t help to say what’s on his mind without explaining everything. Because she won’t understand unless he says everything.

But he doesn’t want to -- he doesn’t want to ruin the day they’re having, and if there’s something he’s come to know about Y/n Y/l/n in the time he’s known her, it’s that she cares. She cares about everything -- her friends, her feelings, and most recently, him. And he just doesn’t want to worry her, not today. So he smiles at her furrowed brow, setting a fingertip in between her eyebrows so that she’ll release them from their torture.

“Tell me about Yoongi.” Y/n blinks, taken aback by the sudden change of topic. He grins widely, eyes turning into little half moons as he laughs at her expression. She shakes her head, not sure where he’s taking this.

“What about Yoongi?” Hoseok leans over, plucking her admittedly bad flower crown from her hand and setting it on his head -- it’s somehow gotten smaller in the time she’d been working on it, pinching and squeezing at the twine. It sits on his hair like a little flowery top hat, but it makes her smile, so he leaves it there. Then he picks up a yellow flower and spins it in his fingers slowly, plucking all the petals off as he goes before offering them absentmindedly to the bowtruckles while he explains.

“Well -- you’re confused how I ended up here, a 7th year with only one good friend that didn’t show up in my life until 7th year--” Y/n smiles shyly, realizing he’s talking about her when he gives her a knowing look. “-- but what I’m confused about is you. We already established last night that you're his metaphorical safety blanket, and I wanna know how that happened. And how you ended up here, a 7th year Gryffindor whose best friend is a Slytherin… so tell me, Miss Y/l/n. How does a lion like you end up with a perpetually horny, unapologetically heinous snake of a best friend like Min Yoongi?”

Y/n smiles at Hoseok’s unflattering description -- painfully accurate, to be fair -- and thinks about Yoongi. She thinks about everything he’d said to her only hours prior, still drunk but feeling surprisingly emotional. He’d always been honest with her about everything that passes through his mind -- he does lack a filter, after all -- but he’d never brought up their friendship until then. None of it needed saying, really -- she’d always known what they are to each other, but it’s different knowing where his mind goes when he’s unsure of himself. It made her feel protective of him in a way that she can only guess he feels about her most of the time. So she doesn't feel right telling Hoseok what she means to Yoongi -- but she can say what he means to her.

“Min Yoongi… is everything to me.” Her lips are moving before her brain can catch up, but now that it’s there in the air between her and Hoseok, she knows she means it. “I think maybe that’s why I’m having such a hard time understanding that you’re happy being okay… that you’ve been perfectly happy not having someone the way I have Yoongi. I don’t get it because I wouldn’t be who I am if he hadn’t come around.” Hoseok tilts his head, somehow fascinated by her -- the way she says it, it’s obvious she’s been overcome with emotion. He figures these thoughts must be fresh -- that maybe she and Yoongi had had some moment of vulnerability that morning and he’d asked the wrong thing at the wrong time.

He'd only wanted to hear more about her life, something real, and it was clear she didn't want to discuss her ex-boyfriend. So he'd thought her best friend might be a safer topic, something he's not so sure about anymore. But she’s only smiling, almost laughing as a thought crosses her mind, and he thinks maybe he hasn’t just opened a fresh wound with his curiosity.

“The thing about Yoongi is… he’s an only child in a rich pureblood Slytherin family. He’s got the perfect life by all standards -- he gets everything he wants when he wants it, and he says what he’s thinking without caring how it’ll affect anyone because it doesn’t really matter to him. He’s spoiled beyond belief -- he’s arrogant, rude, cold. Some people hate his guts -- apparently, even our friends need a break from him sometimes… and I guess I get it. He can be really terrible sometimes…” Hoseok frowns, not seeing how this can be headed anywhere good -- she’d just spent a full minute insulting the guy. But she’s smiling again, peering down into her now-empty thermos with eyes full of affection.

“But he’s the best friend I’ve ever had. I’d do anything for that asshole, no questions asked.” Hoseok breathes out a laugh, unable to believe how quickly her tone had changed. “We had a class together first year -- it was Potions. And I remember feeling so awkward because I hadn’t gotten to know anyone in my house except Jungkook and Taehyung by that point, and their schedules didn’t match up with mine. So I was just sitting there alone in a room full of Slytherins and Gryffindors that had already paired up, and there were some snakes trying to gang up on me because I looked sad and lonely in the corner waiting for class to start.” Hoseok nods, but he simply can’t imagine a version of Y/n that would be anything but headstrong and sure of herself.

“Imagine my surprise when this… obnoxious, bratty Slytherin stands up from his seat with his stuff and just leaves his housemate to come sit next to me.” Y/n laughs under her breath, lifting a finger to one of the bowtruckles and smiling when it latches on, climbing into her palm peacefully while she thinks back to that day.

“He was so annoying, Hobi -- I wanted to smash his head in. He just kept bragging about his family and how cool he was and how much money he had. It seemed like he already had all of Slytherin hanging onto his every word, like they all wanted to be his friend. And then he just grabs me and goes ‘anyway, this is my new friend, so if you mess with her, you mess with me!’, and I just remember thinking… ‘Who is this dude and why do I want to punch him in the face?’

“And then he just kept showing up… he was everywhere, and I couldn’t seem to get rid of him. But it was weird… after a while, I didn’t want to get rid of him. He was just always there. And it started to get to the point where I didn’t feel right if he wasn’t. Because I’d stopped being shy and lonely when he was around, and I liked that feeling. I needed him. He was rude and annoying, and as we got older, he was horny and gross and always off hooking up with someone and then telling me about it in an unnecessary amount of detail.” She cringes, thinking back to the literal full-body nude photo she’d gotten last year, completely unsolicited. But rather than enrage her the way it had then, she’s only amused now -- because of course Min Yoongi would send her a nude without realizing how messed up that is. It’s just who he is.

“He’s probably the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met. But… I wasn’t myself if he wasn’t around, so never once did I think about what my life could be without him. I could never have become the Gryffindor that I am without the Slytherin that he is. So, yes -- everyone sees him as this gross, loud asshole with more confidence than anyone can handle because that’s exactly who he is. But… that’s not what I see at all. All I see is the person that made me who I am.” She trails off then, suddenly shy and very aware of Hoseok’s eyes on the side of her face.

“That was… a lot, wasn’t it?” Hoseok smiles, shaking his head.

“No… never. I loved hearing you talk about him. It makes me happy that you have someone like that in your life -- and it makes me feel grateful for him, oddly enough. I wouldn’t have met this version of you if it hadn’t been for him. And I quite like this version of you.” The ends of his ears are painted pink when he says it, but it’s nothing in comparison to the blush on Y/n’s face. She’s never met anyone quite like Jung Hoseok -- never been around anyone so unconditionally good -- but she can tell even now that he’s probably going to change everything. It certainly doesn’t help that, as she looks at him, the only thing that comes to mind is what Yoongi had said to her while they’d watched the sun rise not even 4 hours prior.

“I know this started as me being upset because you’ve been slacking on our best friend time, but… that Hoseok guy’s gonna be good for you -- I can tell.”

[the-modernmary]

when you gonna take me out? || derek morgan x GN!reader

Summary: You and Derek have been flirting pretty heavily for the past few weeks. So when his first time asking you out doesn't go as well as planned, he's determined to get you to say yes.

Warnings: mentions of getting shot, allusions to smut

A/N: Chapter title taken from Aly & AJ's "Take Me Out". This was inspired by a scene from the show community, and also because derek morgan deserves more love

~~~~~~~

“No, no, you see, asking somebody out is an art,” Derek explained to a very frustrated Spencer Reid. “And I think with a little practice, pretty boy, you could become a bit of a player.”

Prentiss, who had been listening to Derek trying to convince Spencer to let him be his wingman for the better part of an hour, scoffed from her desk. “Using a cheesy pickup line is an art now?”

“There is nothing wrong with a line!” Derek argued, leaning back in his desk chair. “It’s a knock at the door. And once they let you in, that’s when you strike.”

Spencer scrunched up his nose at Derek’s phrasing. “I think I’m going to leave the whole player thing to you.”

“Come on, Reid, it’s easy.”

“If it’s so easy, then why don’t you show us?” Prentiss shot.

Right at that moment, Garcia and JJ walked back into the bullpen, coffees in hand. “Show us what?” JJ questioned.

“Derek is trying to teach Reid how to flirt,” Prentiss explained. “But I think he’s just all talk. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Morgan with a significant other.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “Hey, I don’t pry into your personal life?”

Garcia put a comforting hand on Derek’s shoulder. “Nobody can resist my chocolate thunder. I mean, look at him. He literally looks like he was sculpted by Michaelangelo.”

“I’m with Emily,” JJ chimed in. “I kind of want to see the Derek Morgan in action.”

Derek’s eyes scanned the bullpen until he landed on you, standing in the kitchen area and making yourself a cup of coffee. You were also a profiler, just on a different team that primarily focused on cold cases. It was no secret that you and Derek Morgan had been flirting pretty heavily the past few weeks — longing glances, pet names, and kisses on cheeks were just the start — and you both had a sneaking suspicion that there was an office pool betting on whether or not the two of you had already hooked up.

“Fine,” Derek said, standing up. “Watch and learn, Pretty Ricky.”

Derek sauntered over to the kitchen and leaned against the counter while reaching for a wooden stirrer. “Let me help you with that,” he offered.

You turned to look at him, a smile on your face. “Wow, what a gentleman,” you teased, but you handed your cup of coffee to him anyways. “I didn’t realize you knew how I take my coffee?”

“You learn a lot about somebody when you can’t take your eyes off them,” he pointed out. “Especially with the way you look right now. I mean, wow. Got a hot date tonight? Because he is one very lucky man.”

You arched an eyebrow in his direction. “Nope, no date.”

“Well, you do now, baby,” Derek grinned. “I’ll pick you up at 8:30.”

You stared at Derek, part amused and part incredulous. “Did you really think that would work?” you asked through a breathy chuckle.

Derek’s confident grin fell slightly as his eyes narrowed in confusion. “Wait, what?” he asked, unable to form any other words.

“Derek Morgan, I expected so much more from you,” you mused, snatching your coffee cup from his hand. “I know you can sweet talk better than that.”

It was Derek’s turn to raise his eyebrows, and he tried his best to ignore the barely-suppressed giggles from his teammates. “So is that a no?” he clarified, not used to the feeling of rejection. Although, it didn’t feel quite like a rejection, especially when you were smiling at him with just a hint of your tongue peaking out from between your teeth.

“It’s a… ‘better luck next time’,” you explained, taking a sip of your coffee.

Derek’s normal, confident grin returned to his face. “You’re saying I can ask you out again?” he clarified, because he did not want to be the guy who didn’t know how to take no for an answer.

You walked backwards to your desk, never taking your eyes off Derek. “Sure. It could be fun. But you’ll have to bring your A-game if you want me to say yes,” you told him, and oh, Derek Morgan loved a good challenge.

Derek walked back to his desk, feeling the stares of his teammates the whole way back.

“Like a knock on the door...” Prentiss quoted back to Derek. “So did you just get the door slammed in your face, or was nobody home?”

Derek scoffed and sat down in his chair, already coming up with all the new ways he could ask you out. He had been wanting to for a while, but the timing was always off. But now…

“Oh no, I’m in,” Derek promised, and his eyes were immediately drawn to you. He hadn’t been lying when he said that he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. “But I’m playing the long game.”

~~~~~~~

Derek and the rest of his team got pulled into a case shortly after, so you didn’t hear from him for about a week except for the occasional “how is it going?” text. They got back to the BAU in the middle of the day, but instead of heading straight home like the rest of his team, Derek made a beeline to your desk.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” he greeted, dropping a quick kiss to your temple. “Hope you didn’t miss me too much.”

A soft blush rose to your cheeks as you shut the file you were looking at, spinning your chair so that you could face him. “I missed you tons, as always. But you knew that.”

Derek’s eyes trailed up and down your body, and there was a softness to his gaze that you rarely ever saw from him. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

“Sore eyes?” you questioned. “I don’t know about that. Wasn’t there a meteor shower where you guys were at?”

“Yeah, but no meteor shower can compare to how beautifully your eyes sparkle.”

You tried really, really hard to hold in your laughter. You pressed your lips into a thin line and you bit the insides of your cheeks, but you were only so strong, and even Derek looked like he realized how cheesy and awful that line was.

You broke down into a fit of laughter. “I’m sorry,” you giggled, covering your mouth as you did. “I just — Did you google a top ten best pickup lines list on the plane ride back?”

Derek winced, but nodded in agreement. “That’s fair. Not my best work.”

“No, it was not, Romeo,” you said, patting his cheek. “But we’ll chalk it up to post-case sleep deprivation.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Derek grinned. “When the time comes, you won’t be able to say no.”

You laughed, throwing your head back as you did. “And I am eagerly awaiting that day.”

~~~~~~~

Two days later, Derek all but ambushed you at the elevator. As soon as you stepped out onto the 6th floor, Derek slung his arm around your shoulders, and used his free hand to carry your bag for you.

“Oh, this is exciting,” you mused. You reached your hand up to interlace your fingers with the hand that was draped over your shoulder. “What do you have for me today, baby?”

“I’ve been thinking,” Derek explained. “And you’re a modern, progressive, independent person. I think I’ve been going about this all wrong.”

You nodded in encouragement. He was so close, you just knew it. All he had to do was ask you.

“You don’t want to be dragged down by a bunch of strings. So how about you come over tonight, I’ll put on some mood music, light some candles, and you and I can have one perfect night of pure bliss.”

Or maybe he wasn’t as close as you thought.

“Nope,” you said, moving his arm off of your shoulders. You liked Derek Morgan, but you were not going to be another one of his one night stands. “Not gonna happen.”

“Better or worse than before?” Derek asked, already knowing the answer, and he handed your bag back to you.

“Worse. Much worse.” You paused and turned so that you were facing him. “But I like how forward you were. Keep that up.”

Derek smirked and leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets. “Yeah? So should I keep those candles just in case?”

You pretended to think about it for a few seconds. “With your current track record, baby boy, the only place you’ll be using those candles is in your dreams.”

“You’re already in my dreams, hot stuff,” he promised you. “Every. Single. Night.”

Oh god, that was a very welcome image you would think about forever. You knew that Derek liked you, and you had had your fair share of fantasies involving him in some pretty explicit situations, but him fantasizing about you? It was almost enough to convince you to drag him into the nearest empty room.

Almost. Because if he wanted a chance with you, he was going to have to actually ask you on a date.

Instead, you blew him a kiss and left him with: “And I bet I’m even better than you can imagine.”

Needless to say, the both of you spent the rest of the day incredibly distracted.

~~~~~~~

By that point, pretty everybody on the 6th floor knew what was going on, and they were all invested. More betting pools sprouted up, and even some of the more reserved agents were putting in their two cents, albeit under the guise of disapproval.

That’s why, when a bouquet of flowers appeared on your desk one morning, it was all anybody could talk about as they waited for you to get to work. Even Rossi and Hotch had found an excuse to get themselves out of their offices and into the main part of the bullpen.

“They’re going to say yes today,” Penelope guessed. “They have to. Everybody likes flowers, and this shows the sweet side of my chocolate thunder.”

Prentiss scoffed. “I hope they don’t. I have twenty bucks on at least two more rejections.”

Rossi, who was sitting on the edge of a desk, shook his head. “These are your friends. Don’t you guys feel bad about betting on their love lives?”

“Says the guy who has fifty dollars on ‘they get drunk and leave the bar together’,” Hotch said, not even looking up at the file he was skimming through. Hotch was one of the only ones who hadn’t put money into this whole thing, but he was still very well informed. “You all should really hide the whiteboard the bets are on a little bit better.”

Rossi was about to defend himself when you walked through the glass doors of the BAU. A hush fell over the room and they watched as your smile melted into realization and then nervousness.

You walked over to the bouquet and gingerly took the card, but you didn’t even get to read it when the first sneeze came. Then the next and the next, and pretty soon your eyes were watery, your nose running, and your throat was so scratchy that you sounded like you smoked four packs a day.

You tried to focus on your work, but the constant sneezing and needing to get up to blow your nose was seriously disrupting your productivity. You could barely focus because it felt like a head cold that just wouldn’t go away. Your pollen allergy was something you’d had your whole life, and when they hit, they hit bad.

The flowers were gorgeous and such a sweet gesture, but you didn’t even have the chance to really appreciate them while you could barely breathe through your nose. You were sure you were just a distraction

A hand on your shoulder made you jump, and you whipped around to see Hotch looking down at you with concern. You sighed. “I’m sorry, Agent Hotchner,” you said, your voice nasally. “I usually keep allergy meds in my bag, but it’s not pollen season and I—”

“Go home, agent,” Hotch interrupted you gently. “Get some rest. You can come back tomorrow when you feel better.”

“No, m’fine I just need to—” You cut yourself off this time with another sneeze, and then all you could do was agree with Hotch. “Yeah, I’m gonna go home. Thank you.”

You took the bouquet and walked over to Penelope, handing the glass vase over to her. “Will you please tell Derek that these are beautiful and that I’m so sorry—” You sneezed three times in a row, and by then you were too exhausted to even try talking anymore, so you just groaned and waved goodbye to the rest of Derek’s friends before dragging yourself out of the bullpen.

The next thirty minutes went on as usual, until Derek walked into the bullpen. He had been gone all morning doing a profiling seminar for academy recruits, so he had missed your quick descent into your allergic reaction.

His face fell slightly when he saw your empty desk, and it fell even more when he saw the flowers he had bought sitting on the corner of Prentiss’s desk and his entire team talking amongst themselves.

Derek walked up to them, a frown etched on his face. “Did they not show up for work today?” he asked.

“I sent them home,” Hotch explained, and if Derek didn’t know any better, he could have sworn that he saw the hint of a smirk on the corner of Hotch’s mouth.

Spencer’s smirk, on the other hand, was not even close to being hidden. “Hey Morgan, did you know that pollen allergies affect up to 20 million adults? And sunflowers and flowers in the aster family are considered some of the worst flowers for people who suffer with pollen allergies, since the pollen is so easily dispersed by the wind.”

Realization set in Derek and he cursed under his breath. You had mentioned once in passing that you liked the look of sunflowers, so he had assumed that those were the best flowers to get you. Clearly, he was wrong.

Noticing his dejected look, Garcia quickly interjected. “But they said that they’re beautiful and they looked like they really loved them,” she comforted. “And they wanted me to tell you that they’re sorry.”

Derek shook his head. How did he not know that you were allergic? That seemed like a pretty big thing. “No, they have nothing to be sorry for. I’m going to go wipe down their desk, make sure that it’s clean for them tomorrow.”

The team watched as Derek went over to your desk, taking his time to make sure that there was no flower residue left. They all quickly went back to discussing the bet, changing up their predictions now that they had more evidence to go off of.

Surprisingly, instead of going back to his office, Hotch spoke up. “Morgan isn’t used to being told no. He’s going to break down and beg.”

The team looked at Hotch incredulously. “I’ve never seen Morgan beg for anything,” JJ pointed out, and Hotch just shrugged.

“Well, are you willing to put your money where your mouth is?” Prentiss pressed.

Hotch sighed and shut the file he was holding. “I try not to make a habit out of betting on my subordinates' love lives.”

Rossi rolled his eyes. “He knows he’s wrong, he just wants to be a contrarian,” he told the team, baiting Hotch.

Hotch narrowed his eyes slightly. If anybody else had said that, he would have been able to walk away, but this was Rossi. So Hotch reached into his pocket and pulled out a twenty from his wallet.

“None of this goes on any sort of record.”

~~~~~~~

“Derek Morgan, you got shot?”

You stood up from your desk as soon as you saw Derek and his team walk through the glass doors. It was way after hours, but the news of a shoot out at their last crime scene got back to you, and there was no way you were going to be able to go home knowing that Derek got hurt.

The rest of the team all shared a glance and quickly dispersed, giving you and Derek as much privacy as possible.

Derek made his way over to you, trying to look like he was in less pain than he actually was. “Don’t worry, hot stuff,” he told you, slumping down into his seat. “It just hit my vest.”

You stormed over to where he was sitting, worry evident on your face. “Yeah, I’ve been shot in the vest before!” you reminded him. “It still hurts like hell! What were you thinking?”

Derek forced a smile and held your hand in one of his own. “Baby, I’m okay. Really. I could even show you, if you wanted proof. Then you can stare at my abs without feeling guilty.” He took his free hand and started to lift up his shirt, and you quickly yanked your hand away from his.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, already in the process of storming away from him. “I cannot believe that you are seriously hitting on my right now. You just got shot and you’re asking me out? Agh!”

You started to walk away but Derek caught your hand just in time, laughing as he did. “Okay, don’t go, I’m sorry. I just…” he trailed off, suddenly getting serious. “I just really needed to see your smile.”

You mustered up the best smile you could. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Derek let out a long, audible exhale. “So am I,” he admitted. “I’ve never been more glad to be here doing paperwork.”

You rubbed your hands on the tops of your thighs. “I have some leftover takeout that I had for lunch. How about I heat that up and we can share it while I help you with your work?”

“You don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine.”

You shook your head. “No, I’ll stay. I have nothing else to do.”

Derek grinned and kissed the top of your hand. “You’re too good to me.”

You smirked. “I know.”

Pretty soon, the two of you were hunched over his desk, sharing bites of dinner and chatting easily as you trudged through paperwork.

You quickly learned that he liked to read Kurt Vonnegut and that his eagle tattoo was because of a nickname he had gotten in college. You told him about your fear of the ocean and the time you accidentally set off your high school’s fire sprinkler system during chemistry.

It was nice to be able to just talk to him. It felt like you and him had been friends for years and years, not just the past two months. This Derek Morgan was different from any other version of him, and you loved it. If you didn’t already have the biggest crush on him, this just solidified it. You really, really liked him, and you really, really wanted him to just ask you on a date already.

As the night went on, the two of you had moved closer and closer, until your shoulders bumped and your legs were pressed up against each other. If you both turned your faces to look at each other, your noses would brush. And from there, it would only be a few centimeters until your lips would be on each other…

“Thank you for helping me with this,” he said suddenly, breaking you out of your fantasy. He turned towards you, and you could feel his hot breath on your neck, sending shivers down your spine. “You didn’t have to stay, but… it meant a lot that you did.”

You smiled and tried to control your erratic heartbeat. “It was no problem. I’m happy to do it, anytime. Are you feeling any better?”

“A little,” he admitted. “But do you know what would make me feel even better?”

You finally turned to look at him, and his face was so much closer than you expected. “What is that?” you whispered, unable to force yourself to speak any louder.

Derek’s lips quirked up in a smile and he moved impossibly closer to you. His lips were brushing against yours, and all you had to do was lean in just a little bit. Then he met your eyes, and they really did sparkle, and for the first time in his adult life, Derek lost all of his nerve.

“You could kiss it better,” he suggested. “Because you are much hotter than any of the EMTs at the scene.” Derek grimaced internally, knowing that he came off sounding like an asshole. All he had to do was ask you on a date. It should have been easy. So why couldn’t he?

You closed your eyes and sighed exasperatedly, pulling away. “Wow, fumbled at the five yard line,” you teased, trying to hide your disappointment. You had thought that Derek and you were really having a moment, but maybe he really just didn’t want strings attached.

Derek frowned slightly, but tried to laugh it off. It was the first time that he thought he actually had a chance with you, and he blew it. “Yeah, I guess I did, huh?”

You fought a smile as you stood up out of your chair. “Mhm. But there’s always tomorrow. And since you’ve had such a rough past few days…”

You spun Derek’s chair around so that he was facing you, and you placed your hands on the arms of his chair, leaning over him. The two of you kept eye contact for what felt like ten years, and his cologne was making you dizzy. Slowly, you pressed a lingering kiss right on the corner of his lips. Derek’s breath got caught in his throat as you pulled yourself away, albeit on shaky legs.

“And that’s all the lovin’ you’re getting from me tonight,” you teased.

Derek leaned back in his chair, his hand over his heart in what looked to be a dramatic display of affection. In truth, he was trying to calm his rapid heartbeat however he could. “Oh, light of my life,” he cooed. “That’s more than enough. It’s the only win I’ve gotten all week.”

~~~~~~~

It had been a few days since your night in the office with Derek, and he hadn’t tried anything, which worried you. He wasn’t avoiding you, and the two of you still exchanged pleasantries throughout the day, but he wasn’t flirting with you anymore.

Part of you wondered if you were too harsh with him that night, if you should have just kissed him and gone home with him. But within the past few weeks, your infatuation with Derek Morgan had turned into a full blown crush, as juvenile as it sounded, and you did not want to be another notch in his bedpost. So you were willing to wait it out, to see if you would actually say the words: “Do you want to go out with me?”.

As if you had summoned him, Derek Morgan wheeled his chair over to your desk and put down a coffee cup from your favorite little cafe in front of you.

“Iced vanilla latte with oat milk?”

“You know both of my coffee orders?” you grinned. “I’m impressed.”

“Consider it a bribe,” Derek said, and you raised your eyebrow as a response.

“A bribe?”

“Please go out with me,” Derek asked, trying not to sound as desperate as he felt. “Pretty please. This was fun for a while, but now you are the only thing I think about. I can’t do my job, and I can barely sleep. I feel like I’m going crazy. You are so hot and so smart and so funny. Please let me take you on a date.”

The smile that grew on your face was so big that your cheeks started to hurt. “I’d love that.”

Derek seemed shocked that his attempt actually worked, and he blinked a few times just to make sure he heard you correctly. “Seriously? It’s a yes?”

“Mhm,” you nodded, taking a sip of the coffee Derek got you. “You finally asked me. Of course I said yes.”

“All I’ve been doing the past few weeks has been asking you,” he pointed out.

You hummed to yourself as you scrunched up your nose. “No. You told me that we were going on a date, asked me to have sex with you twice, and the rest of the times, you just used pick up lines. This is the first time you ever actually asked.”

Derek stared at your wordlessly, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to figure out what to say. Finally, he landed on: “That’s all it took?”

“Yup,” you replied, popping the ‘p’. “Although, I do want to hear more about my eyes and the meteor shower.”

Derek let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head as he did. “I will be sure to tell you all about it. And more. I’ll pick you up at 8?”

You were practically beaming as you watched Derek stand back up. “That sounds perfect. Oh, and Derek? I hope you still have those candles out and ready to use.”

“Baby, I never put them away.” Derek winked at you before walking back to his desk. Prentiss was mumbling something about owing Hotch money, but Derek was so high up on cloud 9 that he couldn’t be bothered to care.

“See Reid,” Derek said as he took his seat at his desk. “That’s what we call ‘playing the long game’.”

“Finally,” Spencer grumbled, his nose buried in some book Derek didn’t recognize. “Took you long enough to realize.”

Derek’s eyebrows furrowed together. “You knew?”

Spencer scoffed, flipping the page of the book he was reading. “I knew from the first time they rejected you.”

Derek leaned forward, placing his elbows on his desk. “Man, why didn’t you tell me?”

Spencer finally looked up from his book, his eyebrow quirked up. “You were ‘playing the long game’,” he quoted in a bad impression of Derek’s voice. “And since I’m running it, I get a cut of the entire betting pool, no matter who won, so it was in my best interest to keep it going as long as possible.”

Derek shook his head in disbelief. “I see. That pretty face of yours is hiding an evil genius.”

Spencer hummed in agreement and went back to his book. There was a beat of silence before he spoke again. “They want you to take them to that Mediterranean place two blocks down.”

“Okay, there is no way you know that,” Derek groaned, rolling his eyes.

“You don’t have to take my advice, but you should. Clearly, you’re helpless,” Spencer shrugged, and Derek laughed as he threw a crumpled piece of paper at him.

When Derek picked you up that night, he made sure that the flowers he brought you were hypoallergenic, and the Mediterranean place ended up being the right choice, not that he would ever admit that to Spencer.

And he did, for the record, make sure to set out those candles he promised, but at the end of the night, the two of you were too busy tearing off each other’s clothes to even bother lighting them.

[blockgamepirate]

Technoblade’s purpose in the political narrative of the Dream SMP

I can’t sleep so I decided to finally write the post I’ve been struggling with for literal months, except way more casual because I can’t be bothered anymore and also I’m sleep deprived.

So the thing is: to me the DSMP storyline has always been primarily political, probably because I was introduced to it through Wilbur who was definitely going for political, and also because I’m just generally interested in political narratives right now. Obviously I appreciate the character work and the personal relationship stuff, that’s what makes it more interesting than just dry allegory, but when it comes down to it, this story is about politics to me. So that’s the angle I’m going to approach it from.

Also not to spoil the conclusions here, but I’m an anarchist, that’s my lens.

(Obviously all of this is about rp from here on out unless otherwise specified)

Basically the situation as Techno joins the server is this: L'Manburg exists as an autonomous nation and is de facto independent although not officially recognised by the Dream SMP. The self-appointed president Wilbur Soot decides to hold an election and rig it in order to consolidate his power over the nation he founded and he gets his VP Tommyinnit to join in on the plan. Their scheme fails and they end up voted out instead. The new president, Schlatt, immediately establishes himself as an authoritarian figure and exiles Wilbur and Tommy.

A couple of points on what the election arc demonstrates:

1: the appearance of democracy can be used for distinctly undemocratic purposes.

2: even if the elections aren’t rigged, the electoral system could be massively flawed and end up favouring a party that in fact didn’t have the popular vote

3: even if the winning government (the coalition in this case) has the majority vote, that doesn’t guarantee that they’ll actually act according to the popular will.

4: the supporters of the losing parties basically just have to let the majority overrule their wishes, espcially since apparently L’Manburg doesn’t have an established role for an opposition, yikes. That’s actually a MAJOR oversight in the system but I’m not gonna go into that too much.

5: frankly as an anarchist I am just deeply cynical towards representative democracy, and just because you have a token appearance of choice and consent doesn’t mean that it isn’t a hierarchical and authoritarian system. And to be fair, from my point of view this applies even to so-called liberal democracies and progressive parties. Full disclosure: even if L'Manburg was the ideal example of a representative democracy (which it very much isn’t) I would still be opposed to it because I fundamentally do not believe in top down systems, even electoral ones.

6: despite all these flaws, all the characters seem to implicitly accept the electoral system as legitimate. There’s criticism against the actions of individual characters acting within the system, such as Quackity calling out Wilbur for trying to rig the election, but nobody is questioning the system itself.

So at this point I’m sitting there, watching all this go down, and thinking “man, this would be so much more bearable if there was an anarchist point of view being represented in the story.”

And hey, look who IMMEDIATELY SHOWS UP.

Okay, I’m not gonna lie, early installation Technoblade is not the best representation of anarchism. I was mostly rooting for him out of sheer contrarianism initially. I didn’t really even care if it would be another Killmonger/Magneto/Zaheer situation because I’m used to reading against the authorial intent when it comes to these things. Sometimes any representation is better than no representation, even with political ideologies. That’s not to say that him just straight up spouting this hobbesian notion of a “dog-eat-dog world” didn’t grate on me, obviously it did.

That kind of worldview of humanity needing authority in order to prevent chaos and conflict is literally antithetical to anarchism and is the favourite talking point of authoritarians, the least anarchist people there are. It’s literally what people use to argue AGAINST anarchism. I think it’s mostly because cc!Techno obviously wasn’t particularly educated on anarchist thought and was just basically having fun roleplaying with his friends at this point. Which is frustrating but fair enough I guess.

Cynical ideas about human nature are pretty deeply rooted in the mainstream, unfortunately, most people just consider it common sense. And like I said, it’s a huge talking point in the propaganda against anarchism.

(… even though in fact these arguments were originally used against proponents of representative democracy. Hobbes himself was very much a monarchist, the idea of letting normal people vote for their representatives would have been terrifying to him. Like surely the world would descent into a free-for-all war, all against all. Imagine letting commoners have OPINIONS, the horror.)

So yeah, that stuff was pretty ehhhhh. It was basically what I’d expected though: cc!Techno isn’t an anarchist and we just don’t get accurate representation from non-anarchists, ever. What I dared to hope was that Techno’s character would at least stay consistent about his opposition to ALL governments. I was pretty sure that he would, even though it seemed like the majority of the fandom at the time was convinced that he would switch over to Schlatt’s side or something. It would have been a really shitty twist, I would have ragequit immediately. I mean what would have been the entire point of his character then? He might as well have been a random mercenary. Why even have his character be an anarchist if you were just going to make him work for a government?

(ftr this is kinda my biggest problem with the Hypixel Skyblock revolution event lol, honestly I think that was a worse depiction of anarchism than early DSMP Technoblade. I mean the speech was good, but… still became a government official, tho. booooooooo, cringe)

And yes, I was rooting against L'Manburg, obviously, and I would have even if it had meant having to deal with another badly written anarchist villain character. I never understood why people saw L'Manburg as the good guys, they were nationalist and exclusionary and their whole existence was based on trying to scam people for money.

I mean they were definitely funny, they were great entertainers. I have no problems with people rooting for them because they’re fun to watch; I did that for a bit too. But people were starting to get really into the story and talk about Wilbur and Tommy, the corrupt politicians, and the country that literally excluded people based on nationality as the heroes, unironically, which was wild to me. And when Wilbur started his “villain arc” well: people called it a villain arc, as if he hadn’t been pretty much a bad guy from the beginning, constantly just out for money and power and taking advantage of the people around him and then pretending to be the victim when challenged. I mean yes he got worse, but I wouldn’t call it a villain arc, more like just a mental breakdown arc.

More importantly, to me L'Manburg represented so many things I hate about the status quo in real life, and seeing the fandom mostly unquestioningly accept it as good just pissed me off. Still pisses me off tbh. I mean, to be diplomatic I could say that I understand the emotional attachment and the way L'Manburg was built up mirrors a lot of how real nations are built and how they create a sense of patriotism out of symbols and a sense of honour and loyalty, and it’s actually really fascinating how it even works in a Minecraft roleplay. Says something about the human mind I guess. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though.

Anyway, I just wanted to see literally any kind of opposition to power, even if it had to come from a character that was unquestionably a villain, which I fully assumed Techno would be. Because political narratives so often just leave us out, or at best barely mention us. And even from a narrative point of view, adding an anarchist perspective to a political story just objectively broadens its scope and actually challenges people who are used to only arguing along the lines of conservative or liberal, welfare state or privatization, nationalism or multiculturalism, etc. Even if the original work dealt with it poorly, at least it would give me the excuse to rant about it on Tumblr, which is kinda why I revived my old Minecraft sideblog for this. (That and pig!Techno fanart.)

Also how can you have a story so fundamentally about power without its counterpoint: the rejection of power?

(Yes, Dream SMP as a whole is definitely a narrative about power, it’s a huge theme for Wilbur, Quackity, Dream, Eret and the Badlanders at least, as well as obviously the anarchist characters from the opposite direction.)

So yeah, the build up to November 16th for me was mainly about the anticipation for what Techno would do, how would Techno’s character respond to the seemingly inevitable formation of a new government. THAT was the point of interest for me, that was what I was the most invested in. Would we get an actual anarchist opposition as a new side to the conflict or would they just awkwardly drop that whole angle? Or even have him team up with Schlatt like a complete sellout? There was so much potential but I worried they might just waste it.

And I was right to worry since apparently in the original script Techno wasn’t supposed to do anything, he was just there to help fight Schlatt and witness the explosion along with everyone else.

And WOW that would have been so incredibly boring

Not even just from the political perspective, just talking about the narrative in general terms here: imagine November 16th without Techno’s plot points. Not only would it have been boring for Techno’s character but it would have been equally boring for basically everybody but Wilbur and Philza. An anticlimactic fight followed by a big explosion that pretty much everybody had seen coming already. Yes, the button room scene is dramatic and heartbreaking… for Wilbur and Phil. But nobody else was there to see it. For everybody else, it was just a big explosion. It would have been such a huge disservice to anyone watching the other POVs.

Techno’s intervention gave everyone an ACTUAL climactic fight, it allowed characters other than Wil and Phil to witness some actual drama happening and to participate in it, rather than just waiting around for the explosion, while also foreshadowing the explosion. Even better, it provoked SO MUCH discussion in the fandom AND gave a perfect hook for future conflicts to arise. Wilbur’s end was tragic but it was, at the time, final. L'Manburg would have still suffered a catastrophe but it would have been left with just the same exact antagonist as before: Dream.

And at this point Dream’s core goals had barely changed, just his approach was now different. Yes, that makes a difference for the plot, but it doesn’t really change much in terms of ideological conflict. Especially since there really isn’t that big of an ideological difference between Dream and Tommy, because arguably neither of them are particularly big on ideology in the first place, they just have conflicting goals and use different tactics to achieve those goals (well, the tactics aren’t always even that different *cough Spirit cough*).

Techno’s conflict with Tubbo and especially Quackity (and honestly most of the other characters in general) brings in so much more depth to the story, just by introducing another angle, not to even mention how much it brings to focus questions about power and violence. These are themes that exist in other characters’s storylines too but nowhere in the same way or as central as with Techno.

I’m getting kind of ahead of myself here, though.

The real twist of November 16th was the fact that Techno WASN’T a straight up villain, actually. It was a twist to me anyway, because with all my cynicism I just didn’t see it coming, I didn’t expect him to actually start making reasonable criticisms. I didn’t expect him to drop the hobbesian arguments entirely and start making points that actually sounded like anarchism.

I have to assume that cc!Techno must have seen some of the criticisms of his character and been inspired to adjust because the difference is pretty notable.

(Sidenote: I’m just forever kinda sad that Techno’s “I may seem like the villain here” monologue was cut from the video and most people never heard it.)

And I felt SO validated by the way, because it works so well in the story! Everyone is mostly content with the restoration of a status quo of some sort, Schlatt is gone, this is supposed to be the good ending, and then Techno calls them all out and turns the narrative around completely: This was just a coup d'état. This was just the previous political leadership retaking power by force. Why is everyone celebrating the same exact system that lead to Schlatt’s authoritarian rule in the first place?

What he does there is force the audience to question the narrative they’ve been presented so far, that they’ve accepted without a thought. It might not convince them, but they can’t just ignore it either.

Whatever you wanna say about the discourse around Techno on that day, in the ideological narrative THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART. Not who betrayed who or when is political violence justified, that’s about personal relationships and morality and it’s mostly all more relevant to the aftermath than the event itself. In my opinion, the REAL point in the moment is that the characters and the audience were comfortable with the ending only to be presented with a completely new perspective on the events.

It also recontextualises the finale, including Wilbur’s actions! It’s a much more ambiguous end to the Pogtopia vs Manburg arc and to Wilbur’s original run as the head writer. Wilbur’s “even with Tubbo in charge I don’t think [that ‘special place’] can exist again” is vague enough to be dismissed as just part of his paranoia and internal conflict, but with Techno, there’s a concrete question: what if Tubbo, given the same powers as Schlatt, will turn out to be just a new Schlatt? And suddenly you have to wonder what Wilbur meant by his words too. And was all this foreshadowing something about L’Manburg’s future?

Okay I’ve only made it to November 16th and there’s so much more DSMP to talk about but the post is getting too long and I’m starting to lose my energy. Will I ever make a part two? No idea. But I’ll try.

Standard disclaimer: I’m not the spokesperson of anarchism, other anarchists might disagree with my reading

[glitchy-anime-fan]

Some of my Mello headcanons because why not

Most of these are just kinda random or stupid inside jokes between me and my friend. Also some of them are based on if Mello and Matt survived in the series. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Feel free to take this as platonic or romantic!

Mello only eats milk chocolate. He tried dark chocolate once and said it was “too bitter”

He had tried one of those organic chocolate bars or whatever that’s only got like 75% chocolate in it, but it “ruined” dark chocolate for him

He also just hates white chocolate. The only way he’ll eat it is if it’s on something else like a bonbon or pretzels, but even then those treats won’t be the first on his snack list

Mello made Matt go on a chocolate run once b/c he was running low and they weren’t expecting a restock until a few days later

In a moment of sleep deprived confusion, Matt accidentally bought dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate

It wasn’t a lot, maybe only five or six bars, just enough to tide Mello over until the restock came in. Yet Mello was still upset that it wasn’t milk chocolate

Mello ate the chocolate anyway because he wasn’t going to waste it (or make the already tired Matt return to the store), but he made a point to complain about it the entire time

Mello says that Hershey’s special dark chocolate is okay. He wouldn’t eat a whole bar as a first choice, but the occasional little snack sized bar is okay

Mello is a big rock fan (if the leather wasn’t obvious enough), and while he doesn’t have a favorite sub genre, he does enjoy indie and 80’s rock

Some of his favourite bands are Mother Mother, AC/DC, and MCR

He has one Spotify playlist that he listens to religiously that’s just all his favourite songs and he adds to it constantly

Sometimes if he’s really focused on his work, he’ll listen through the entire playlist and end up in the “songs based off your playlist” playlist

Usually he doesn’t realize he’s listened through the whole list until he hits a song he doesn’t really like and goes to skip it (b/c he rarely skips songs)

Every now and again Matt will take Mello’s phone and just add really random songs to Mello’s playlist

I’m talking songs like the Pokémon rap, songs by the living tombstone, lofi music, etc.

He does it to both mess with Mello (he finds it funny when the blonde actually realizes what songs were added), and as a fun little way to give Mello a break from the rock music

Even though Mello acts annoyed, he never skips any of the songs Matt adds and never deletes them from the playlist

Mello isn’t a big cuddlier (blame the way he was raised at Wammy’s)

Though if you can get him to relax and cuddle with you, he can be pretty docile. He may whine, squirm, and curse at first, but eventually he’ll give in to his fate and relax.

Whenever Matt can tell Mello is having a really stressful day, he will grab Mello, turn on a cheesy movie and force Mello to cuddle with him

Of course Mello will scream, hit, and insult Matt, but the gamer’s heard it all and knows Mello doesn’t mean it. He also knows the blonde will eventually relax so Matt doesn’t take it to heart

Besides, Matt enjoys seeing his partner relax for once especially when Mello falls asleep with his head in Matt’s lap so a few empty insults is nothing

Despite being incredibly intelligent…Mello will occasionally do kinda stupid things

Like sometimes he is stuck in a situation where he brain just kinda doesn’t analyze it like it normally would, and Mello ends up doing really dumb shit

For example; Mello once broke one of prongs off his laptop charger and the little metal bit was stuck in the outlet

For whatever reason, may it be sleep deprivation, stress, or combination of the two, instead of turning off the electricity through the breaker box…Mello threw the tv remote at the outlet

Granted…it worked…the prong came out of the outlet…but it wasn’t the smartest idea

Matt was very confused when he came home to a broken outlet cover and remote, but then laughed for like two hours when Mello explained what happened

Matt has yet to let Mello live this fiasco down and will tease his partner about it whenever he can

Of course it’s not often that Mello has these “off” days, but when he does it’s usually attributed to a lack of sleep or too much stress

Matt is more likely to throw a remote at the outlet though ngl

As much as he hates to admit it, Mello gets flustered easily.

Once again, blame how he was raised in Wammy’s house, but Mello is not used to affection and becomes flustered when he’s shown any form of it.

Matt once called Mello “cute” when he walked in on the blonde actually looking relaxed. Mello’s face went 50 shades of tomato red and he nearly threw his laptop mouse at Matt.

Now Matt makes it his job to show Mello any form of affection, usually in the form of cute little terms of endearment or cuddling

To this day Mello will still blush any time he is shown affection, but he is slowly starting to get use to it

At least, he’s getting used to when Matt is showing him affection

Mello is ticklish as fuck. It’s mainly isolated to his sides and he’s so ticklish that just ghosting your hands by his sides will have him jumping.

Other then cuddles, tickling Mello is one of Matt’s ways to get the blonde to feel better when he’s upset.

Matt will usually only tickle Mello until he can tell the blonde is feeling better, but sometimes if they’re just messing around Matt may get hit

Matt also sometimes just forgets how ticklish Mello is and has gotten hit b/c the gamer ghosted his hands to close to Mello’s sides

Mello does apologise when he does hit Matt. Matt usually laughs it off and they go on with their day.

So we all know Mello and Matt grew up in London right? Well, when Mello left for America he tried his hardest to get rid of his accent

He did eventually succeed while he was with the mafia, but his accent will occasionally slip out when he gets really upset

Sometimes Matt teases Mello incessantly just so he can hear Mello’s accent return. Matt thinks the accent is cute. Mello hates it.

Mello and Matt’s favourite tv show is Victorious, change my mind! 😤

If you want to read more about this, check out this post

These are all the things I can think of at the moment. I may make a part two if my friend gives me any other funny ideas.

If anyone else has any wholesome Mello (or Matt) headcanons…uh let me know! I would love to hear them!

[amyscascadingtabs]

give you my wild, give you a child

"stupid numbers, think they’re so great. i'd love to see numbers give you a baby."

inspired by that one line in 8x08 renewal, because he really did give her a baby.

read on ao3

It's been three days and Amy can't stop crying.

 Sometimes she thinks it's stopped, that she'll finally have a stable moment to talk to her husband or eat a meal in peace or facetime some of the twenty or so relatives on her list, but it feels like it’s never more than minutes before her emotions swim to surface again and something new brings out the vibrating sobs that have seemed to characterize this day. As it turns out, even newly pregnant Amy has got nothing on three days postpartum Amy.

 That she cries about the big, life-changing things doesn’t surprise her. When she wakes up after a night of minimal sleep and sees Mac in the bedside crib next to her, she cries because she’s so grateful; that everything went well, that their baby is finally here and that he's perfect beyond words. Then she cries because she thinks about what could have happened if it hadn't gone well, because she gave birth in a makeshift birthing suite in a police precinct, and so many things could have gone wrong it’s a miracle nothing did. When she gets out of the shower, she cries seeing herself in the bathroom mirror, because she's proud of her body in a way she's never experienced before. Then she cries because she also barely recognizes the person staring back at her, still looking six months pregnant except with hospital underwear and nursing pads in her bra. When she has breakfast after feeding Mac and tries to read the newspaper, she cries because so many terrible things are happening in the world all the time, and she doesn’t know how she’s going to protect this child from a world that sometimes seems to be getting more and more cruel by the day. Then she cries out of guilt for feeling that way, because she’s supposed to be enjoying this baby bubble, and what kind of mother even is she for daring to think about anything but her baby right now?

  As the day goes on, however, her reasons for crying begin to feel increasingly ridiculous. She cries because she’s so relieved to be drinking regular coffee again, then because it doesn’t taste the same as decaf and she’s gotten so used to it that the caffeine tastes weird now. She cries because the coffee goes cold anyway when Mac begins to whimper and suck on his fingers in the way he seems to do whenever he’s hungry and she has to drop everything to feed him another time. She cries when Jake turns on the television and a commercial for diapers comes on, because she can’t believe they get to buy them now. Then she cries when Mac has finished eating because the red flannel she borrowed slash stole from Jake won’t button properly, and she realizes one of the buttons has gone in the wrong hole and she has to redo the whole thing. When Jake offers to help her with it, that makes her cry too, because the way he’s not laughing at her right now but patiently trying to solve her problems is making her feel so loved she doesn't know how to thank him.

  The thing that makes her cry most of all, though, is watching Jake and Mac together. She always knew that sight would drive her crazy, and it’s part of the reason she wanted to have kids with him so much in the first place, but not even in her most indulgent fantasies about their future could she have pictured this. As grateful as she is over the fact that she gets to be a mom, getting to see Jake be a dad is a close second. He loves their son so much, and Mac so clearly loves him too, and Amy has to remind herself of the nine months she's spent carrying this child by herself in order not to feel jealous when Mac stops fussing the moment Jake picks him up. He looks so tiny when Jake holds him, the back of his head fitting perfectly in Jake's palm, and the care with which he’s handling him keeps making her emotional. He's always talking to him, sometimes whispers she can't hear and sometimes praise for her which she can, and that makes her cry too. He even chats to him when he changes his diapers, which Amy hides behind the door frame just so she can hear, failing to stifle a giggle when he asks in a fake interrogation voice what Mac has to say to his defense for making such a mess. He wakes up with her in the middle of the night when she has to breastfeed to get her endless glasses of water and granola bars when it makes her feel starving, and then he lets Mac burp him in the face and spit up on the back of his shirt before he falls back asleep curled up on his chest. He leans his chin on the top of Mac’s head to smell that perfect baby scent, running his finger over those cute neck rolls, and the smile on his face when he looks back at Amy makes her completely lose it, because this is what she dreamed of all along.

  This is what she imagined when they visited her brother Christian’s new baby shortly before they got married and Jake spent the better part of an hour making funny faces to the child in his arms. This is what she panicked over when he said he wasn't sure if he wanted kids, because she had always thought. This is what she thought of those nights after another timed round of unenthusiastic sex, trying to keep the hope alight until that single line would once more tell them not this time. She had felt it in his teary smile when she showed him that first positive test, in how hard he'd squeezed her hand at their first ultrasound when their baby’s heartbeat had filled the room, in the absolute joy on his face the first time he’d managed to put his hand on her stomach just in time to feel their son kick, and now it's right in front of her and almost too much for her heart to take.

 She's so tired, and she's sore and overwhelmed and worried about a billion different things, but she's never felt so grateful.

 That's what makes her cry floods at three a.m. when Mac seems to have finished eating and she comes back from the bathroom to find Jake still sitting up with him in bed, holding him with a hypnotised look on his face. He doesn’t even seem tired, even though he must be, is just looking at his son like he’s holding the entire world in his arms and doesn’t ever want to let go. She always knew seeing him with a baby would be incredible, those surprisingly toned biceps curling around a fragile little human and those heart eyes focused on one thing only, but maybe she hadn’t expected not being able to watch it without breaking into tears.

 “Jeez, Ames,” he says when he looks up, the expression on his face changing to one of concern. “Are you okay? Honestly?”

“Yeah,” she sniffles and dries her eyes again as she sits down on the bed. The skin on her cheeks is stinging at this point. “I just can’t believe this is my life.”

“Why not?” Mac’s pacifier glides out of his mouth, and Jake puts it back with two fingers before he can notice anything. “We’re right here, babe. We’re very much real.”

“Sometimes I thought it was never going to happen.” She hiccups. “All the times we’ve been apart. The months we fought to have him. How freaking long and exhausting being pregnant was. And now I have him, and you, and I’m just so grateful I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“That’s why you’re crying?”

“I think I don’t even know why I’m crying anymore. I’m so sleep-deprived.”

“Yeah.” Jake smirks. “But I get it. I’m really, really grateful too.”

 Mac makes a short gurgling sound that Amy takes to mean he agrees. She reaches out so his hand can wrap around her ring finger, feeling him squeezing it tight in the cutest grip. The grey striped pajamas has little mittens on it to keep him from scratching herself, but Mac gets upset whenever they pull them down, so Amy figures they'll just have to keep filing his nails instead. Their son is already both opinionated and stubborn, and she loves it about him, because she loves everything about who he is. He's perfect, and he's hers, and she still can't quite believe it even though he's right there in Jake's arms. It's all her dreams coming true, and it's making all the hard things feel so worth it.

 “Jake?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for giving me a baby,” she whispers. She’s too tired, barely even knows what she's saying anymore, but looking at the two of them, all she can think about is how incredibly lucky and thankful she feels.

Jake blinks in disbelief, grinning at her. “Wait, I gotta make sure I heard this right. Did you just thank me for giving you a baby?”

“Uh-huh?”

“And you're serious about this?”

“Well… yeah.”

“So you mean after nine months,” he says, still wide-eyed, “of you telling me, minimum a couple times a week but pretty much daily toward the end, that I could never understand what you're going through, and then you shouting some lovely descriptions at me whilst you were literally pushing him out, and also earlier this evening when you cried because I can't breastfeed him for you – you’re thanking me?”

“Some of it was a team effort,” she insists. “You helped.”

“Oh yeah, my nards sure are loving the credit.”

“Don't be gross.”

“Sorry.” He smiles, a little bashfully, stroking his fingers back and forth over Mac’s forehead instead of looking at her. “But Ames, c’mon. It was a pretty limited effort compared to what you did.”

“Maybe they’re not the same thing.” She leans her head on his shoulder. Mac is still holding on to her finger, but his grip is getting looser now. “But you were part of it too, babe.”

“Really?” He’s blushing. “What did I do that was so special?”

“Let's see. You didn’t laugh at me when I kept crying at everything the first weeks. Rosa made fun of me on a daily basis, but you just hugged me and told me everything was going to be okay. You let me sleep in when I had days off, even though I pretended I wanted you to wake me up. You fixed food for me without telling me what it was, and put it in front of me before I could feel sick thinking about it.” She shakes her head at the memory of those, few but complicated, weeks, and how hard they’d had to work around it. “You kept telling me I looked great even when my body kept changing and it all felt weird, and helped me pick out maternity wear when I didn’t want to do it on my own. I don’t know that I would have taken barely any bump pictures if you hadn't made me. You listened to all my research about the best strollers and pacifiers and cribs, and you did those courses and read all those books with me, and you came to almost every scan and held my hand so tight every time. You came home with onesies and hats because you thought they were too cute not to buy, and you gave me massages whenever I wanted them, and you even slept on the couch a couple nights at the end when I got angry at you for snoring. You barely even complained about it.”

“I complained a little,” Jake mumbles. “When you couldn’t hear me.”

“Fine. And lastly, you rode a horse through the city to get to me while I was in labor, and you didn’t even act like seeing him be born was gross.”

“I mean, it was a little bit gross.” Jake lifts Mac so he can kiss his forehead when he whimpers. “No offense, bud. I mean you looked perfect, I didn’t think you looked like a slimy alien even for a second, didn’t cross my mind, et cetera.”

“Whatever.” She rolls her eyes. “Point is, babe, you were there. You're here now. I know I did the actual work, but you were the one who made sure I could. I don’t know how I would have made it through without you. So… thank you.”

 He doesn't give her any witty comebacks for that, only a shy smile.

“I love you,” Amy all but whispers through the tears that fight their way through her determination to keep them in. “Both of you. So much.”

“Love you, Ames.”

She kisses him, putting her hands on each side of his thighs so she can reach over Mac. Kissing is a lot more complicated than usual when both his hands are busy and none of them wants to risk crushing their son, but it's still nice, feeling his soft lips on hers and squeezing his lower lip between both of hers for just a moment before pulling apart.

“It's hard to kiss you while you're holding a baby,” she says, and Jake grimaces. “That might be the only bad thing about it.”

“My bad. I’m just going to put him down so we can make out all night.”

“Don't you dare. He currently doesn't have a boob in his mouth and he's still not crying, you're not doing anything to risk that now.” Amy pulls the comforter up to her chin. “Wake me up when he needs to eat again and not a second earlier.”

Jake chuckles at her as she turns out the light and snuggles up close to him, but he makes no move to put Mac down or even protest, and she didn't think it was possible to love him even more. Her heart has definitely grown with becoming a mom, much like everyone told her about, but most seem to have forgotten to prepare her for how much it would also grow when it came to her partner.

 “I still think I’m the one who should say thank you,” Jake whispers just as she closes her eyes, and Amy can't help but smile. “If we're talking about who gave who a baby.”

“Jake, just accept the praise.”

“Oh, yeah.” She doesn't need to see his face to know that he's grinning. “I’ve locked it in a little box in my brain and I’m gonna keep it as gloat material forever, bringing it up when you least expect it.”

“That's great, babe.”

“Mm-hmm. We both know the truth, though.” Jake's left hand strokes over the top of her head, and Amy has to look up to see that Mac is still resting safely on his right arm and doesn't seem to have noticed a thing. Another tear fight its way down her cheek at the thought of how safe he must feel with him. This time, she doesn’t even bother to wipe it away.

 ~