#Also yes I put spaghetti because OF COURSE I DID

[jokerownsmysoul]

picrew.

Thank you so much @greghouse for tagging me! 🥺 I've to admit that making these picrew made me yearn a whole lot, what a literal dream to cook for him and have a quiet dinner over his apt. that's one of my fave things 🤧🙈 best picrew ever, I smiled like a silly girl while making these from start to finish 😂😭🥲💙

The options are so lovely that I played around a little bit, I enjoyed it way too much 🙈🥺💙

I tag: @ajokeformur-ray @daincrediblegg @daydreamhustler @your-truly-the-whale and whoever wants to do it! 🧸🌷No pressure as always 🤗

[outlying-hyppocrate]

imagine being like. human. i'm just a silly little creature. happy cryptid. occasionally a very sad cryptid who ponders its own existence and questions his sanity but. that's mostly during the winter months. we do not speak of the winter months. except for the fact that we are in them and. fuck never mind. i just need some tea and a bit of will wood to ensure my serotonin levels go back to normal and i can be. happy cryptid

[lnfours]

ruin the friendship | l.n

summary: i’m not sure if you’re taking requests or not but i was wondering if you would ever consider doing a fwb/roommates fic for lando like the one you did for tom? i absolutely love your writings!! -> yes anon, my requests for lando are open :))) also i listened to ‘don’t ’ by bryson tiller while writing this so feel free to listen to it while you read <3

warnings: friends with benefits!! language, sexual tension u can cut with a knife, neck kisses, nothing too crazy, jealous roommate lando 🫣

masterlist | ask box 💌 | listen

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

you stood in the kitchen, stirring the pot on the stove as soft music played from the speaker on the counter. you hummed softly, the door closing catching your attention, making you spin around in your socks. the voices entered the kitchen and you smiled at your two roommates.

“mate, you’re crazy,” max laughed, “i don’t understand how you did that.”

“because i’m a great golfer, that’s how,” lando said, putting his phone on the island as he pulled a stool out to sit, “how was your day, y/n?”

you turned back to the stove, “it was alright, i guess. got some work done, went to the store, the usual. not nearly as exciting as you two’s day it sounds.”

max smiled, patting lando’s shoulder, “mans was a beast on the green today, should’ve been there,” you shook your head with a smile, thinking about the last time the three of you were on a golf course.

let’s just say, drunk people shouldn’t drive golf karts. max continued, “oh, how was your date the other night?”

lando’s ears perked up, his head snapping away from his phone. you grabbed the pot with the oven mitts, pouring the spaghetti into the strainer, “it was alright, nothing special.”

“you went on a date?” lando didn’t mean it the way it came out. you looked over your shoulder at him, “with who?”

“some guy who was all over her the other night at the club,” max said, “was it not good?”

“he’s kind of a douche,” you said, bringing the spaghetti back to the pot and adding the sauce, “didn’t have a good time.”

“sorry to hear that, y/n,” max said before standing up, “‘mgonna go shower.”

you and lando nodded, his eyes going back to watch you as you fixed dinner. you met his eyes, “you have a staring problem, norris.”

“you didn’t tell me you were going to go on a date with that guy.” he said. you dropped the spoon in the pot, reaching up to grab plates for everyone.

“didn’t know i had to tell you all of a sudden.” you shrugged. he stood from his seat, walking over to you. you backed up against the counter, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach as he placed his hands on the counter, basically trapping you between the counter and him. he had a slight sunburn on his nose from being in the sun all afternoon, his sunglasses were still pushing back his curls, and his eyes were damn near mesmerizing.

“suppose you don’t,” he said, “did he bring you flowers at least?”

you shook your head and he clicked his tongue, reaching behind you for a plate, “that’s a shame. i would’ve brought your favorite.”

“do you even know my favorite?” you asked, eyebrows furrowed as he turned around to the stove. he put his plate down on the counter next to you.

“of course i do,” he said, “your favorite flower is a sunflower, and if im not mistaken you have a tattoo of a sunflower right…” he trailed off, lifting up the edge of your hoodie and pointing to your hip, “here.”

his finger touched the exact spot the tattoo was, his touch burning through the fabric of your sweatpants. his smirked as you met his eyes again, grabbing his plate as he moved back to the other side of the island. of course he knew where it was, it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it before. he knew all the ins and outs of your body at this point.

“dinner smells good,” max said as he reappeared, in a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants. he looked at you with furrowed eyebrows as you tried to regain your composure, “you alright? look like you just ran a marathon.”

you nodded, grabbing your own dinner, “i’m good.”

he nodded but still gave you a look. after dinner, max went to go stream but lando stayed back to help you clean up. you were washing dishes as he placed them in the sink. once all of them were collected, he wrapped his arms around your middle. you leaned back slightly, tilting your head to the side to let him place his head on your shoulder.

“going on dates with other guys when you still fold every time i do this?” he joked and you huffed, laughing softly.

“i don’t fold every time,” you said, “i pick and choose, and i guess today is your lucky day.”

he pressed a gentle kiss to your jaw and you couldn’t help the soft noise that came from your throat, “hmm? don’t fold every time?”

you rolled your eyes, “it’s been a while.”

“too long,” he mumbled against your shoulder.

“i need a shower,” you complained, turning around in his arms.

“me too,” he said, brushing a stray hair from your face, “wanna save some water?”

you laughed, shaking your head, “you shower with the water too cold.”

“you’re the one who likes it boiling hot! it’s a wonder you don’t pass out in there.”

you rolled your eyes, “maybe you’re just dramatic, did you think of that?”

he fake gasped, “me? dramatic? never.”

you nodded, stepping away from him, “keep telling yourself that.”

“seriously, come shower with me,” he grabbed your hips, pulling you back to him. you let out a soft laugh as he pouted, “please.”

you let his lips go to your neck, giving into him the second time today, “no, lan.”

“cmon,” he said, “it’s the least you could do for going on a date behind my back.”

“you were the one who wanted to keep this,” you waved your finger back and forth between your two bodies, “a secret.”

“not anymore,” he said, “i’ve thought about it, let me take you on a date. a proper one. i’ll get you flowers, take you to the restaurant downtown you love that you go to with your friends. i’ll pull all the stops, you deserve it.”

you smiled softly, “only if you promise to wear that black button up shirt you wore last weekend.”

he raised an eyebrow, “you liked that, huh?”

“maybe,” you smirked up at him.

“okay, then you have to wear that red dress you wore on the night out the other night.”

“deal.”

he smiled before lifting you up off your feet. you laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck, “where are we going?”

“my bed,” he said, carrying you down the hallway and shutting his bedroom door with his foot, “because now i can’t stop picturing you in that dress.”

“thought you wanted to shower?”

he sat you down on his lap, hands wandering under your hoodie as yours tugged on the hem of his golf shirt, “need you more than a shower right now.”

[divine-donna]

all you need is more radaway

save a horse. ride a cowboy. ;)

anyways i really loved the tv show and i love the game. and ghouls are just chef's kiss. or maybe that's because i love monsters. sad that i finished it so quickly. :(

perhaps i can put what i learned in my western class to good use lol

character: cooper howard aka. the ghoul

it's never easy surviving the wasteland. you don't know how you managed to survive for this long. perhaps because you seemed to have been blessed with incredible luck.

and building up endurance, of course.

you felt little to no side effects from the radiation of the food you were eating. which just meant you had a lot of radaway and rad-x stocked up.

to make ends meet, though, you had to start hunting. scavenging and scrapping by wasn't enough. you needed the extra caps.

thus your rivalry with another bounty hunter was born.

"well, well. aren't you far from home, sweetheart?"

you were used to comments about your outfit. a vault suit. yes, you came from one. you had been exiled after your father was revealed to be managing the experiment behind it. the child pays for the sins of the father always.

"you're not the first and you won't be the last." you pull the head off the body as clean as possible.

"now i don't know if you should do that."

"and why not?"

a bullet flies past you and burrows itself into the ground. you finally look up. a cowboy hat. the face of a ghoul. his gun pointing right at you.

but you weren't afraid.

"because he's my target." he pulls out a piece of paper. "and he's mine."

"seems unfair if i did all the work. and you just collect his head and the prize." you pull out the same piece of paper. yours is a little more worn out though. and covered in dried blood.

"that's the way of the wasteland sweetheart."

"if you believe so."

your hands were fast. two bullets lodged into his right left and when he looks up, you're gone.

of course, you learned from the best: western holotapes. you really liked them when you were growing up. claimed to want to be a lone hero.

in some ways, you were. the wasteland was just a new version of the wild west, wasn't it?

"spaghetti? like...the pasta?"

more like spaghetti western. he knew that, of course. but no one in the wasteland knew what a spaghetti western was. they were remnants of a past long gone and one only accessible by holotapes in the vaults.

"that's their name." the person says. "why? you have business with them?"

"perhaps." the ghoul was looking to return a favor.

"don't even try. they're far more formidable than you think."

"we'll see about that."

your rivalry was an exchange of bullets, more often than not. thankfully, you always stocked up on bloodbags and could make a stimpack from your heavy (but useful) travel chemistry kit. you were smart like that.

surprisingly, it became something to look forward. mostly because the ghoul preferred if he tried killing you, so he managed to get you out of a tough situation by killing the other people trying to kill you.

and you returned the favor. there was something satisfying about lodging a bullet into him again.

unfortunately, this left you two stuck on a job once. captured by raiders. you had been knocked out with a drug. and he had collapsed from...something.

"fuck." you mutter, pulling at the ropes binding you. your luck had run out for the day it seems, because your arms were tied to the ghoul's around this godforsaken pole. the metal was also uncomfortably rubbing up against your skin.

"you got a knife or anything sharp?" he looks over at you. it's rare to see him without his cowboy hat. his head was rather smooth.

you chuckle a little.

"something funny?" the ghoul asks.

"nothing. you're just...shaped like an egg."

"very funny."

"let me guess. your answer is no?"

"i don't have a knife up my sleeve, sadly. think they took it."

"shame." the ghoul shimmies something out of his own sleeve. he flicks the blade out and begins sawing at the rope. "watch your fingers."

you keep your fingers tucked in. eventually, the rope on your wrists comes undone and one arm soon after. the rest comes off and you rub your skin. "fuck these guys. always hated raiders."

"well, we both got sold out. we need to find that thing now. or else we'll be dead by sunrise." he tugs on the door of the jail cell and clicks his tongue.

"i don't have sharp objects. but i do have these." you pull out the bobby pin taped on the inside of your sleeve, alongside a mini screwdriver.

the lock wasn't very complicated, so you picked it with ease.

as you both are grabbing your equipment, you hear footsteps up above. light ones and heavier ones. and the sound of a muffled, altered, robotic voice.

the brotherhood of steel was worse than raiders, honestly.

"you go left, i go right. how does that sound?"

"i don't usually like taking orders from my rivals." he reloads his gun. "but for you? sure."

the event left the both of you soaked in the blood of your enemies. on the other hand, you guys left with plenty of loot and an idea of where your target was: dead. at the bottom of a lake.

it was a journey to get there, wherein you learned the details of each other's lives. you didn't think he was paying much attention to your sentences. after all, you came from a vault.

and yet, you saw a hint of sympathy in his eyes.

he seemed less keen on sharing details about his life, aside from his former name. cooper howard.

undeniably, as a fan of westerns, you recognized his names. from the holotapes.

"they had those?" cooper shakes his head, taking sips of water. "no way."

"yes way! it's where i learned to shoot."

"from watching my movies?"

"yes!"

"that is...a pleasant surprise." cooper leans back.

"that also makes you over 200 years old."

"that it does. something wrong with that?"

"no. the wasteland changes people." you maintain your attention to your suit, sewing a tear up. "just...you're looking for something, aren't you? everyone's always looking for something up here."

"are you looking for something?" his voice hardens and he sits up straight.

"i was. and then i found it. and i stopped." you tie the thread to seal the stitch and then tear the thread with your teeth. "i hope you find what you're looking for though."

"well, that's awfully kind of you, sweetheart."

"i have a name, you know."

"what is it?"

"(y/n)."

getting personal in the wasteland was something cooper wasn't adamant about. but the circumstances seems to call for it.

"guess we're even now."

the body of water was daunting. it was murky and dark. you pursed your lips and dumped your bag. "well. guess we have no choice."

cooper looks over at you then quickly turns around when he sees what you're doing: taking off your suit and going down to your underwear. "what are you doing?"

"i'm going to go get that head. that's how we get paid, right? easy three thousand caps. 15 hundred split evenly." you stretch.

"i think you might die."

"i'll be fine. i've done it before." Aquaperson perk.

"i can also swim, you know."

"i'll be fine cooper." you pop a rad-x pill just in case. "be back in a bit."

you dive like a swan, making minimal splash into the water. your form disappears beneath the darkness.

you're gone beneath the water for over an hour. cooper's heart was beating against his rib cage. you should be out by now. it should not be that hard. did something get you? things lurked beneath the murky waters always.

"fuck!"

he drops his equipment and begins stripping down, until he is just in his pants. he would need to dive after you. if you were dead, then so be it. it was fun while it lasted.

suddenly, you emerge. you take in the oxygen of the surface and hold the head up high. "got 'em." you swim over to the shore and walk out of the water.

there was something about how...wet you were that got him feeling hot and bothered.

"something happen down there?"

"couple of mirelurks. no big deal. which reminds me." you set the head on the ground and go back into the water. within minutes, you're pulling out the bodies of the mirelurks you had killed. "dinner."

while cutting the mirelurks open, you observe the way he walks around you. his muscles bulging a little as he cuts a mirelurk open and takes the meat. he was kind of...attractive?

"were you going to come after me?" he stops cutting hearing your question. "in the water, i mean."

"so what if i did?" cooper averts his eyes.

"that's sweet of you. i didn't know you had a soft spot for me."

"i don't."

"sure." you can tell he was lying through his teeth.

dinner was a nice, cozy meal. it was delicious. a nice surprise considering the nature of the wasteland.

cooper notices the way you're looking at him. and he looks at you the same way.

though how does this work exactly?

"do you want to..." you try to find a decent way to say this. fuck is a good term. but it felt a little vulgar in the moment.

cooper already knows what you're asking. "absolutely. if you can handle it." he smirks.

it's so cute when he smirks.

you glance over at your bag, looking at your stash of radaway. you had plenty. plus your stash of rad-x too.

"i absolutely can."

[redskull199987]

i have two so I'll probably send them separately, but at the same time I feel like that would be a lot of notifications (also fem reader please); #1 is giving mike schmidt head under his desk while he's at work and stuff , #2 is like playing with mike's hair and stuff to help him sleep and cuddling with him , and #3 is mike bending reader over his desk and going to down because he's had a pretty bad shift and needs to relieve stress. you can just do one or all, it's up to you

First of all, this is only one of these three requsts, the second one to be precise. The others will follow of course, don't worry. Until then, I hope that you enjoy this one. I had lots of fun writing this:D

So hear my Voice, remind you not to bleed

Mike Schmidt x fem!reader Request Word Count:1.3k Warnings:tooth rotting fluff,kissing and hugging, that’s all, slight movie spoilers Summary:You knew that your Boyfriend had trouble falling asleep, so you did everything you could to help him find his way into sweet sweet dreamland…

Masterlist

You felt like shit. At least, that was the short version. And the longer one wasn't even that much longer. To put it simply, you had an awfully long week. And that was probably an underestimation. 

You fought murderous animatronics, a creepy dude in a bunny costume, a feral cupcake and after all that shit, you barely escaped with your life. And while you were fortunate and had only obtained a few minor scratches and bruises here and there, Mike had a few life threatening flesh wounds and Vannesa was lucky to be alive at all, after her father had stabbed her.

Your Bones ached and your head was pounding, as you finally made your way home. Unfortunately, you couldn’t just ask your Boss to give you a few days off because you had several Animatronic-induced wounds scattered over your body. Heck, you were happy you didn’t just lose your job after not showing up for three days in a row. 

All you could do was tell them that you got involved in a car accident and that you and your boyfriend had been in the hospital for a few days. Much to your favor, they believed you and the fact that Vanessa was still in the Hospital only backed up your little lie.

Your Mind was still racing, as you reached your little Home. It was already dark outside, as you stepped into the comfort of your Apartment. You saw Lights coming from the Living Room and the Sound of the TV slowly made its way into your Brain and pushed away the gruesome memories of the Pizza-Plex.

“Mike?”, You shouted into the darkness,”Abby? I’m Home.”

You didn’t receive an answer, so you quickly discarded your shoes and Jacket and walked into the Living Room. Only now, you noticed Abby sitting in front of the Sofa, drawing with her Crayons and listening to the sound of the TV.

“Hey Abbs.”, You smiled and leaned down to greet the little Girl. She practically beamed at you and gave you a small hug.

“Have You eaten yet? Where’s Mike?”, You quickly asked again as you rose back to your feet.

“Yes, we had Spaghetti with meatballs.”, Abby stated happily,”And Mike said he was tired and went to sleep already. He told me I could stay up for a little bit longer:”

“Okay then.”, You mumbled, gently running a hand through Abby’s Hair,”I’ll go join your Brother in Bed. Don’t stay up too late, okay Love?”

Abby nodded at you profusely before turning her focus back on the Half finished Drawing in front of her. You looked at her once more, before deciding to finally go see your Boyfriend in your shared bedroom. You knew that he was always tired. Even before you started dating. You knew what you were getting yourself into.

 But after recent events, his insomnia seemed to get severely worse. He could barely fall asleep anymore and even if he did, he’d be awake again a few hours later, jumping up with heavy breaths and a sweaty forehead. You always tried to comfort him and be there for him, but you still felt like you weren’t doing enough. Like, you should do more. But you didn’t know how.

With a sigh, You slowly pushed your bedroom door open. You were surprised as you realized that the lights were still on and Mike was sitting in the middle of the Bed, still fully dressed.

“Mike?”, You asked with furrowed brows,”Are You okay, my Love?”

He didn’t answer you at first. Only as you got closer and sat down next to him, he looked at you.

“S-Sorry, must’ve been lost in my thoughts again. I didn’t notice you coming in.”, Mike explained. His voice was raspy and tired. With a soft smile, you grabbed his hand, squeezing it lightly:”It’s okay, don’t worry. You wanna go to sleep?”

Mike only gave you a nod and got up to change into his sleeping attire,which consisted of a Shirt and some sweatpants. You quickly followed him over to the wardrobe and before he could pull off his hoodie, you carefully hugged him from behind, resting your head on his shoulder.

“I love You.”, you uttered against his skin. You could see how the hair on the back of his neck stood on end and the shiver that went down his spine.

“I love you too.”, Mike answered, taking a hold of your hands and turning around in your embrace. For the first time today he gave you a smile. A lazy one, but you saw that it was genuine. You quickly leaned forward, planting a kiss on his cheek, before you connected your lips with his in a tender kiss. You felt his hands wander to your waist and he pulled you closer. Warmth radiated off of his Body, while his lips worked against your own in passion.

As you finally parted due to the lack of oxygen, both Mike and you were panting against each other's lips. It was quiet for a few minutes and no one said anything, while the two of you just enjoyed each other's company.

But then you reached for the hem of his hoodie and as Mike realized what your plan was, he obediently raised his arms, so that you could pull the hoodie off of his body. After you let the Hoodie fall to the Floor, Mike grabbed the Hem of your sweater and the two of you repeated the whole action, but with your roles reversed this time. 

It didn’t take long, until you were both in your sleeping attires after you lazily helped changing each other.

With a drowsy smile, You grabbed Mike’s hand and pulled him back towards the bed. You had of course noticed that his expression wasn’t really the happiest, as he was afraid of having nightmares again. He had told you about them. It was always the same. He saw Abby, Vanessa or You getting stabbed by William Afton and there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t move or scream. He just had to witness it.

“Come here.”, You mumbled and held out your hand as you saw that Mike was hesitating to lay down. His gaze wandered from the sheets to your face and it seemed like the soft smile you gave him did the trick on him. He gently grabbed your hand and let himself be pulled down by you. As his head was laying comfortably in the crook of your neck and your hands were slowly brushing through his hair, Mike let out a deep sigh.

“It’s okay. I’m here with you, Mike.”, You mumbled into his ear. You felt how his arms slung around your waist, pulling you closer.

“I know.”, Mike muttered under his breath,”You’re here.”

He took a deep breath in again, before you finally felt his body relax against yours. You quickly grabbed the blanket, pulling it over the two of you.

“Just concentrate on my voice.”, you said, soothingly rubbing his back with one hand, while the other still brushed through his hair to calm him down,“Listen to my voice. You’re not alone. I’m here with you.”,

“You’re here with me.”, Mike repeated quietly. You only nodded and continued to mumble sweet nothings into his ear. And within Minutes, you felt his grip on you loosen ever so slightly, while his breath became more even.

With a soft smile, You kissed the crown of his head once more, before also letting your eyes fall shut. If Mike could sleep, you could sleep too. And if he woke up, You would wake up too, no matter what.

[bunny-hoodlum]

My brain is dead. My hand is dead. I finished Hinata but still have to do Naruto, ahahhahahaha 🤪 maybe tmw. ughhhh I need a more efficient style. 😫 And I'm stuck with these washed out colors because it's supposed to look like a dim kitchen during a house party. Maybe the final piece will look better. There's also always gradient maps and color balancing too. Editing in post type stuff.

Ah yes, so my Witchcraft AU is going to be Los Angeles-coded. Everyone is Japanese-American-coded, LA Asian Community proxy, etc. Not gonna take place in RL. Not gonna reference actual nations/races, etc. But LA food culture will be there. Other aspects of LA culture will be there, or so I'll try.

I automatically headcanoned this Naruto to be into Mexican Punk/Skacore, so it's just gonna be Skacore in writing, but maybe I'll create his personal playlist or something and share it here later.

He's a jock but he's also really punk at heart, gets hotheaded, gets into trouble but not in a delinquent way. So we got a jock that grew up next to 'Cholos', puts elote in his cup ramen or something like that. Maybe has a weird personal recipe for ramen tamales, idk, I'm throwing spaghetti at the wall here. 😂 Cultural fusion, go!

Hinata is a bi witch, soft goft girl. Big tiddy goth girlfriend. Nuff said.

I'm thinking Ino and Sakura could be witches too. Ino is a herbalist and Sakura is too focused on studying theory to actually practice or something. Ino and Sakura are together, but sometimes the witches have lesbian orgies because... occultic reasons. Just kidding. Actually, I did have a concept in mind, of course the reason is semi-ritualistic, or like, it's just normal for the girls to need to comfort each other. 🤔

I'll drop the official summary for the whole story sometime this week, just been obsessing over this art. Which I really should have just flat colored or something. Maybe I'll scrap all the coloring on Hinata that I already did and focus on a simpler coloring style. It'll be more cohesive looking anyways. 😫

I might add a drabble to the final piece, too. That'll be fun. 🥰

Hmmm... maybe Naruto's traps don't look big enough. 🤔 Maybe Hinata's boobs don't look big enough either. 😂 Oh, I still dunno what type of athlete he is. I wanna shop around before settling for football player. 😂

[jellazticious]

Meet this chucklefuck

His name is Pascal Short for Giuseppe Pascallis Jaleppino Edvard Stefano Dimitri Jaloro Pepperman-Spaghetti

That's right, you read the surnames correctly. He is a Pepperino fankid

ramble and more drawings under the cut if you managed to survive the first part

If I had a nickel for everytime I made fankids, I would have two. Which isn't a lot but it is weird that it happened twice.

And brother? I'm happy about it jsrgksrb

Pascal is a jaloro pepper and since his parents are so shit at naming him, they straight up put his pepper type as a name. but yes, they're a real thing and they're so cute. Jaloros are just yellow jalapenos

I also tried to make him simultaneously look like a pepper and a mango to complement how Pepperman looks like an apple. but also while drawing the sprite mock ups, I realized that at a certain pose he sorta looks like a pizza slice. I win either way bfsjbgksjr

He does not want to be an artist or a chef but he does have the inherited naturality of both which landed him a job as a barista. and of course, he could only work for one place which is the Noisette Cafe. It kinda gave him a little trouble getting hired cuz 1.) Peppino does not like how his son is about to work for his rival's girlfriend and 2.) Noisette is fucking terrified of Pepperman. You think she's gonna let his son who is one foot taller work for her 😭

But still, Noisette is way too kind that Peppino forgets why he has a problem with her and Pascal is way softer than both his dads surprisingly. It's ironic how Peppino and Pepperman are these barbarians of people and their kid ended up being the forestcore aestethic. He is never beating the allegations lmao, he's gonna be THAT softboy

But don't get me wrong, he can be a combination brutal and berserk when pissed off. He still has the same strength as his dads, mind you. Mostly Pepperman's brute and Peppino's street smarts

And their patience too.

People expect him to be as manly lol but like nahh he just wanna chill and be a nerd dork

And if anyone's wondering, it was obviously Pepperman who spawned him. In the human au tho? I have a perfect answer for that lmao. ahem

My Pepperman has and always been intersex lmao. That is it, that is all you need to know how Pascal can theoretically be made

Plants being plants man, they're really weird. Pepper is simultaneously mom, dad, uncle, and aunt lmao. Tho Pas calls him both mom and dad because it would be so fucking funny and he calls Peppino papi

He's very tender mostly cuz he did not inherit Pepperman's narcissism but he did inherit that kindness that Pepperman tries so hard to hide. And of course, Peppino's anxiety and impulses.

As a kid, Peppino is the brooding hen between him and Phil. He'd be the one who double checks triple checks if it's safe to let baby Pascal do his thing.

Pepperman on the other hand, he holds baby Pas like a rubber ball. Peppino tries not to get his kid killed because of how his wife holds it 😭

Oh also in a few of em, you can see little interactions with @beefy-the-stronk's Jude. They're simultaneously cousins and siblings. Also don't question it. Just imagine there's two Peppermans gbsjbgrksj

Also Gustavo is the godfather. I only had Pascal for three days but I would die for him

Anyway, if you made it this far, I thank you but alas. That is all for now bgjsbgjksr

[melrosing]

how do you see an AU where Joanna survives and her relationships with her children?

been thinking about this ask whilst eating spaghetti

I think it's a mess with all three. first of all, supposing Joanna survives Tyrion's birth, she also survives to seal the deal with the Princess of Dorne in sending one of the twins off to Sunspear to be betrothed.

and whilst I kind of like 'jam growing up in Dorne' aus, I do think it would most likely be Cersei who gets shipped off. that's namely because in taking Cersei, the PoD reserves Elia for marriage to Rhaegar (I'm sure she was biding her time for that), and in the same fell swoop removes Cersei as her competition (Cers would probably have ranked quite highly before Tywin and Aerys' falling out).

obvs Joanna would be conscious of that calculation on the PoD's part, but 1) she may not necessarily have had the same ambitions for Cersei as Tywin did, and 2) at this particular point Joanna probably needs the betrothal of one of her children to a Martell more than PoD does; she wants the twins separated, but they're still very young at this stage so she would want them in safe hands - and she was once close to the PoD, possibly saw her as an elder sister/mentor figure of her own. so a Martell betrothal is the safest way she can do this, and Cersei would be the one the PoD would offer to take I reckon

so Cersei is forced out of her home at a young age, and I think that could be pretty interesting in terms of Tywin and Joanna's marriage for one thing. like, I assume Tywin would resent two women going behind his back to betrothe his daughter when he expressly had plans to give her to Rhaegar. is he able to put a stop to it?? I think Joanna would insist on it, but that would cause a bit of a rift because Joanna isn't explaining WHY and maybe it's the first time he feels she's crossed a line in her role as his wife.

I ALSO think that if Joanna were to survive Tyrion's birth, some part of Tywin would blame his son's disability on Joanna. in killing Jo, Tyrion martyrs her, but if she survived then it's like she's somehow responsible in Tywin's fucked up mind. bc I don't think he could fathom having had anything to do with his son's conception himself if the son wasn't what he'd wanted. so generally yes I see their relationship being worse and probably more distant with fewer visits from KL.

ANYWAY I digress but thinking about where this situ leaves Joanna and her relationship w her kids!!

JAIME starting with Jaime cos I think this would, relatively speaking, be the most straightforward. I think of the Lannister siblings, all the key Lannisters generally find Jaime the easiest to love and I don't think Joanna would be an exception. I think she's absolutely the kind of mother who would love her sons better, because as a woman she doesn't take such a complicated and visceral view of them as she does her daughter.

HOWEVER she would of course recall what happened between Jaime and Cersei. and I think she would low-key blame Cersei. I think Cersei, whilst charming in her own way, was no doubt a kid who could be angry and sour and difficult to handle, whilst Jaime sounds comparably quite affable and easygoing. so the first fucked up thing Cersei and Joanna's relationship is that Jo decides Cersei is the one who came up with the 'game' so that she can mentally forgive Jaime, because it's easier than reckoning with her son being less than perfect.

and I think the result with Jaime is that he resents Joanna deeply for sending Cersei away, and he dislikes that she keeps trying to acquit him of what they were both doing, and consequently distances himself from her. I imagine them as close before that, so this hits Joanna hard and she turns that resentment on Cers, again making their relationship worse.

possibly the relationship between them heals a little as Jaime grows matures and maybe realises how upset Joanna must have been at the time, but I think he is always angry for what she did to Cersei and doesn't forgive her that.

CERSEI I imagine Cersei stays in Dorne till she's maybe 12-13, and then maybe is made lady in waiting to Elia in King's Landing. and I think she spends the whole time hating Joanna. like I kind of doubt that Oberyn and Cersei would like each other much, and Cersei would always remember she was supposed to be Rhaegar's Queen, and Dorne sucks etc and where's Jaime, and also just like imagine how traumatic to be seven and sent away to some strange place for doing something you didn't even really understand was wrong. of course she'd hate Joanna

I think she only comes home to the Rock intermittently from Dorne, and Joanna is subtly antagonistic to her every time in case Cersei 'corrupts' her son again + Cersei is probably antagonistic in return because Joanna is the one who ruined everything, so it's all fucked. Joanna probably still tries to temper her daughter into the lady she thinks she should be, and Cersei is just not having it. it's awful

TYRION I feel like there's two Schools of Thought (lmao) on how Joanna and Tyrion's relationship would be: one where Joanna dislikes her son but is just more tactful about it than Tywin, and one where they're actually close and Joanna fancies him a bit of a mini-me.

I think it could be BOTH. I think Joanna, who no doubt cares a great deal about her public image and is still v much a Lannister who somehow had it in her to love a man like Tywin (to whatever degree she did), would be disturbed at having birthed a disabled child and would never quite shake that. it would haunt her forever.

BUT Tyrion is smart and funny and desperately wants to love her and be loved by her, and I think she would respond to that with a love of her own. I think she'd try to raise him up beyond what everyone else thought of him, and there'd be a lot of whispering in one another's ears. but she can't raise him up beyond what she, deep down, thinks of him, and that's a bitter truth in their relationship all Tyrion's life. I think she punishes him more harshly than she would Jaime, and is less willing to tolerate any shortcoming in Tyrion - he has to be better in every sense he can be. so there are darker periods in their relationship with Joanna is crueler to Tyrion, and it utterly fucks with his head because he knows how warm she can be when she chooses to be and he doesn't know how to win her love back, it's just like one day she warms again and things are nice once more but he always fears her turning cold again

and I think a big part of this is Tywin blaming Joanna for Tyrion - I think she'd find that hideously unfair, but perhaps also believe it a little.

ANYWAY long post and this is a huge amount of conjecture but long story short I think Joanna is fucked too

[moonschocolate]

Tom Riddle headcanons!!

because lately i've been thinking about this tragic little human <3

tw: mention of torture as a topic

first of all I wanted to clarify that in this there's no Voldemort, no interest in practicing dark magic, just a teen who goes to Hogwarts soo... :)

proud slytherin. no matter how much other people can say 'slytherin = bad' he just doesn't care, he will not argue with you if you think or say that cause he will find it pointless

I don't now where I read this, but if I'll find it I will tag the person who said this before me: he has autism!!

which means he is not a very social person, and he has little/no friends

and he is deeply attached to an object/topic

the topic in question is dark magic

he doesnt want to practice it, he just finds the whole thing interesting

which deeply concerns professors

he knows everything. about horcruxes, the three unforgivable curses, origin and all

he simply thinks that knowledge is knowledge

IF HE READS?!?! OH DAMN

i strongly believe he has one hell of a library in his dorm

the most dramatic myths ever? knows them

he's just a nerd

read books about t0rture, c0mmunism, n@zism, because knowledge is knowledge

also reads light books of course i dont want to scare you

maths is not his thing

like yes he's good at it but he doesnt really care

did i say hes dramatic?

and an absolute pessimist

since i do not believe that his hair is like that just because it is, he HAS to have a hair routine (DROP IT TOM)

has an infinite collection of bookmarks

no person is allowed to touch his books

doesnt write on books even with pencils

listens to DRAMATIC classical music

EXAMPLE

(also y'all have to teach me how to put spotify songs with the blue rectangle cuz i dont have a clue on how)

JUST THE START

Idk it reminds me of him (and regulus but this is not about him)

this goes against the fact that he's dramatic, but i think that in a relationship he would be a good-old fashioned lover boy

flowers, love letters, POEMS, kissing in the rain, handing you his jacket when you're cold

and of course he wears suits

NOT a sports kid

mf doesn't know a single sport

he just learned how to swim

that's it

is defo the kind of person who is SOSOSOSOSO SKINNY

He's skeptical af on food

like i believe he's a picky eater

and i dont think he eats a lot

like he will go through the day with some coffees, some water, breakfast and a snack in the afternoon

is always gentle doing anything

when he's mad he's even more mad that he can't throw anything because then he would be even more angry that it got broken

has NO PHYSICAL FORCE AT ALL

Like his arms are spaghetti

im sorry but imo he's short

like 1.70 cm (5'5''-5'6'')

which is not really short

I CANT SEE HIM AS A TALL BEING

will not admit it but hates the sea

like as long as he can reach with his feet the "land" below then it's no problem

if he can't he'll try to act cool and say he's tired and immediately get out of the sea

it gives him a sense of pure confusion because he doesnt know what he could run into

which annoys him

because when he cant know something it hurts him physically emotionally psychologically

he knows plenty of languages

english, french, latin, russian and german

why?

because it's cool

also knows how to play the piano and the flute and the viola

"never judge a book by its cover" he does exactly the opposite

especially with books he judges the book by the cover, if he likes the cover he'll like the book too

and people can gain his interest only at first sight

he hates how lots of people can easily change their opinions as long as their group/loved ones have a different opinion

or how people always follow the crowd

people who judge mudbloods just because they're mudbloods are too stupid for him

i think we all know that he is THE teachers' pet

he's the Hermione of his generation

which means that while there are plenty of people with their hands raised the only one who will be listened to is tom

is a MANIAC in cleaning

his bed and his overall room is always tidy af

he hates getting his uniform dirty

he has plenty of nightmares about his past

which he never talks about with anyone

is the kind of person to have 4 or 5 cats

he is absolutely quiet

i got a strong feeling that this man was bullied before hogwarts at the orphanage

he has a cute little stuffed animal in really bad shape which he has from his years at the orphanage and it's hidden at the end of his wardrobe

he strongly despises children because he doesn't have a clue how to deal with them

acts like he has patience

lacks patience

in a modern au, the only thing he'd have going to school would be a black pen

not because he didnt care or was too lazy to get other things but because he didnt find having 3985729947 pens and highliters necessary

dada would be boring for him because out of curiosity he would've already learned most of the spells or wtv

i dont remember if i said it but quidditch is NOT something he likes

or just flying on a broom in general

(remus lupin behavior)

(I had to say it)

studying consists in him burying his face in the books for like 4 or 5 hours straight (my man has some serious issues)

you could tell im completely delusional because he became a killer and nothing's good-old fashioned lover boy about canon him but oh well🥰

[erin-bo-berin]

i love your whole dad!steve concept it truly makes my heart burst! set in the singlemom!reader verse, could you do something where it’s steve’s birthday and the reader surprises him with an adoption certificate asking him to adopt the baby?

That would be the CUTEST THING. Oh yes, I’m so excited for this! I have to use this gif because imagine how stunned and surprised and just shocked in general he would be. My heart 😭 (also, fun fact: I ended up including my little fur baby’s name in here)

“Surprise!”

“Jesus Christ! You scared the shi- uh crap out of me!”

Steve put a hand to his chest, eyeing the toddler in your arms, glad he’d caught the swear just in time. These days, she was repeating anything she heard so he’d tried to be extra careful what he said when he was around her.

“Happy birthday, Steve,” you smiled, putting the little girl in your arms down so she could greet him too.

She went flying the short distance between you and Steve, running over to him to hug his legs.

“Happee birfday daddy!” she squealed, wrapping her small arms around his legs.

He smiled, bending down to pick her up.

“Thank you baby girl and mommy,” he said looking over at you, the smile lighting his face.

“I got you pwesent,” she said, beaming up at her daddy.

“Did you now? What did you get me? Hmm, a tie?”

She shook her head emphatically.

You raised a brow, amused, “You? I’m a tie?”

He stuck his tongue out at you, playfully.

“Let’s see,” Steve resumed his guessing game with his and your daughter, “Is it…a book?”

“No!” she grinned.

“Is it your favorite stuffed bunny named Hoppy?”

“No, silwee!” she giggled.

Still working on her pronunciation of the word, “silly” came out much cuter and funnier than it should’ve, causing Steve to laugh with joy.

“Is it a million kisses for daddy?” he asked again, then started attacking her face with kisses, giving her numerous ones all over her face.

The little girl squealed with joy. It was one of her favorite things her daddy did, was give kisses.

“Mommy have pwesent,” she finally said when Steve stopped, pointing towards you.

You held a print out caked shaped design that the toddler had “painted”. But, at the top, you’d done a little activity with her. You’d dipped her entire finger into different paints and made a few “candles” out of her finger prints at the top of the cake. It had turned out adorable.

“What is this?” Steve asked, taking the picture, looking at it.

The smile hadn’t left his face yet, but it grew even brighter as he looked at the picture.

“Did you do this for me, sweetie?” he asked.

Your daughter nodded with a smile.

“Mommy hepped.”

“Mommy helped?” he translated.

“Yesh.”

“Well, I love it,” he kissed the top of her head, “Thank you so much princess.”

“You welcome, daddy.”

“The kids, Robin, Eddie, Nancy and Joyce all dropped off their presents earlier,” you chuckled, nodding to the pile of wrapped presents and gift bags on the couch, “The living room looks like Christmas currently.”

Joyce and Mrs. Wheeler were hosting a cook out party for Steve at the Wheeler’s house this weekend for everyone to gather and celebrate your boyfriend, but most of the gang had decided to drop off their gifts for him early, on his actual birthday. Today, he was celebrating with you and your daughter.

“Well I guess that means someone is going to have to help open all those presents. Who should it be?” Steve tapped his chin, thinking.

“Meme! Meme! Meme! Pwease, daddy?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely, of course you can.”

He kissed her cheek.

“What’s for dinner? It smells amazing in here,” he said, following you further into the kitchen.

“I fixed spaghetti since the munchkin requested it,” you said, sparing the little girl an amused glance, “I hope that’s okay.”

“Pagetti!” she cheered.

“Well, then I’m in luck because your spaghetti is my favorite,” he smiled, giving you a kiss as well.

“No,” your baby whined, trying to pull Steve’s face away from you.

She was currently going through a bit of a jealous phase where she wanted Steve’s attention at all times.

“Hey, now that’s not nice, sweetheart. There’s enough of daddy to share okay? See, look. I can give you a kiss as well.”

He kissed her cheek, then her forehead to prove his point.

“Now, can you say sorry to mommy?”

“I sowwy,” she frowned, not liking to upset either one of you.

“It’s okay sweetheart,” you soothed, running a hand over her hair.

“Go get cleaned up, dinner is almost ready, okay?” you told Steve.

“You heard what mommy said. Let’s go wash our hands okay?” he bounced her in his arms.

“Oh I got a present for you, too, but I’ll give it to you later, if that’s alright?” you said.

“Oh,” he smirked, “That’s more than alright.”

“Steve!” you huffed, hitting his chest playfully, “That’s not what I meant.”

“Alright, but can it be arranged? It is my birthday after all. I deserve some dessert.”

He gave you a grin, with a suggestive little wiggle of his brows before he walked out with the little girl, heading towards the bathroom.

“Besides cake, I mean!” he hollered.

You laughed, shaking your head at the audacity of him.

•

It wasn’t until after yours and Steve’s daughter was down for the night that you got the chance to give Steve your present.

True to his word, he’d let her help him open his gifts. She was a mess after the spaghetti dinner though, so bath time came first. Per Steve’s request, you and he gave her a bath together. She absolutely loved the extra attention, having both mom and dad with her for bath time was a rare occurrence. It was usually one or the other.

While Steve got her into her pajamas, you drained the bathwater and cleaned up the bathroom, not leaving it for later when you knew you’d be too tired to deal with the mess.

With hair still wet from the bath and in fresh pajamas, Steve set her in his lap and let her help him open presents. He let her pick which one to start with and it was off from there. You had a kick watching both of them, the toddler just as excited as Steve was. You appreciated how he included her in so much; you appreciated it more than he probably knew.

It wasn’t until the last few presents that her energy drained and the tell-tale signs of her sleepiness kicked in. She was yawning and rubbing her eyes, beginning to fuss at the mention of bedtime.

She fell fast asleep just before the last present and after opening it as quietly as he could—even though it didn’t disturb her the slightest—Steve carried her to bed and tucked her in.

He was tidying up the floor when you walked back in the room, picking up the pieces of wrapping paper and tissue paper from gift bags that had been carelessly thrown by an excited two and a half year old.

You hid the gift behind your back as you entered, biting your lip nervously. You were afraid that he might not like it as much as you’d hoped he would when you’d first received it. It was a medium sized rectangular gift box, wrapped in birthday wrapping paper, but it was what was inside that was the true gift.

Steve was chuckling to himself when you first entered and now he looked up, seeing you, filling you in on what was amusing him so much.

“I can’t believe Henderson got me four cans of Farrah Fawcett hairspray. What a kid.”

“Steve? Why don’t you sit down?”

Sensing your somber mood, he sat on the couch.

“What’s up?”

You sat down next to him, revealing the present from behind your back.

“Happy birthday.”

“Sweetheart, you didn’t have to get me anything,” he smiled, wrapping an arm around you, pulling you into him before kissing your temple.

“I know. But I wanted to. Go ahead, open it.”

He tore into the wrapping paper at a much more normal speed than that of the excited toddler earlier. He peeled away the wrapping to see the gift box you knew was underneath. He peered at you curiously before lifting the lid.

Inside, nestled in tissue paper was a small stack of papers. Steve’s brows crinkled in confusion as his eyes scanned over the paper on top.

“What’s this?” he asked.

He looked back down at his gift, his eyes widening when they landed on the word “adoption”.

“Is this…?” he started, not quite sure how to finish his sentence.

“It’s adoption papers. To legally adopt baby girl. Make her a Harrington,” you finished for him.

He stared at you, blinking. Then he set the box aside, taking your face in his hands. His thumbs stroked your cheeks gently.

“Are you sure?” he whispered.

You saw tears in his eyes. You also saw a smile on his face. He was so happy and that erased any nerves you’d felt before he’d opened it.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”

He kissed you then, holding your face firmly in his hands, trying to convey his gratefulness, his happiness, his love, in the single kiss.

As if that hadn’t been enough, he made sure you knew his answer when you two had parted.

“I’d love to adopt her.”

It was the best birthday Steve had ever had.

[geraldmariaivo]

that’s one fucked up butterfly

So i have no clue whether or not this counts as a vague one-shot or an overly-detailed story idea. Either way, here’s the spaghetti my brain fed me today.  ————

Jason has been hungry. Like, really hungry. Granted that’s not weird because this lifestyle does that to a person, but it’s more than usual. It’s also kinda weird because he’s been picking up food more often…as Red Hood. Outside of Crime Alley. Something about the confusion and fear of the cashier as a known crime lord who usually stays inside his turf casually plops down and pays for a brick or five of guava paste, containers of butter, and various other sweets, fruits, and other normal foods is just so satisfying in a way he can’t put his finger on.

But he doesn’t really think about that, because by the time it’s a notable trend, there’s something more pressing to think about. Namely, the fact that it’s been getting harder to move in a my-muscles-and-joints-are-stiff-and-achey-because-I’m-not-letting-myself-heal kind of way. This also isn’t super surprising considering the, well, everything about his lifestyle. It was bound to catch up with him sooner or later. It got more pressing when the ganglion cysts started popping up. He got as many important things out of the way as he could, and took a break. It only took the immediate repercussions of pushing himself so much finally rearing their ugly head, but he did it.

Except two weeks in, and it’s gotten worse. He does stretches, drinks plenty of water, makes sure he eats enough fiber and nutrients, but nothing works. He just keeps getting increasingly stiff. And it doesn’t help that the cysts keep popping up (yes, he checked them out with Dr. Thompson, and they don’t seem to be anything other than his body pitching a fit about being beat up on). It isn’t until Steph and Cass visit the safehouse during lunch and tell him point-blank that he’s eating like a speedster that he takes a good hard look at the kitchen and his trashcan that he realizes he did, in fact, just pack away a whole pizza, a very large fruit&veggie smoothie, and was on his way to scarf down a bowl (pot) of pasta that would feed half the bats, plus the cheese, sauce, and meatballs he was in the process of cooking.

It takes too much arguing, and bribing him with Alfred’s cookies, to get him to come to the cave for more thorough examinations.

This, unfortunately, does fuck-all. His blood pressure indicates that he’s stressed but fine, his nerves and reflexes are working fine, and when they did finally get him to get actual scans and take samples, they all turned up negative except for slightly elevated brain activity and a higher body temperature than usual, not even enough to be a serious fever. The cookies were the only good part of going, in Jason’s opinion, because nothing changed from how it was going before. In fact, the period where he didn’t eat anything so he could go in for scans seemed to only make the aches, pains, stiffness, and cysts worse.

The fatigue was to be expected, considering how hard it was for him to move around, and the fact that whatever was going on was clearly taking a lot of energy. It also aligned pretty well with the expected fatigue from people with similar ailments….right up until Jason was suddenly conking out for hours at a time. This was, understandably, very alarming for everyone, especially Jason.

One night when [insert reason for everyone to be out of the cave here, probably the aftermath of a breakout from Arkham or something], things went from bad to “what the FUCK is going on?!?” Namely, because between the time they left to when they got back, Jason was effectively entombed in a weird cocoon of stone-like green shit, and whatever it is, it’s interfering with any and all of the equipment they were using to monitor his vitals.

Of course this sends everyone into a panic, and Bruce is extra freaking the fuck out. He tries to get this off of Jason any way he can short of dropping the cocooned Jason from a skyscraper. Chipping away at it? Didn’t work. Laser cutter? No. Acid? Nope. Sealing some of it in a container with water to see if it would even begin to dissolve? Nothing. Clark is off-world with J’onn, none of the lanterns are available, and as much as Bruce hates turning to magic for anything, none of the JLD will be able to stop by in less than a week.

So the bats wait. They can’t do anything else other than try to find out what’s happening and how to fix it.

And then, one day, there’s a crack. And another. And another. Given that Jason’s under 24/7 surveillance at this point and they’re actively looking for any signs of activity, it’s not long until everyone who can drop whatever they’re doing arrives at the cave. It takes a while for any of the cracks to be big enough for them to get a grip or pry this stuff off of him, but they manage. They manage, piece by piece, and what spills out -anyone who’s been near a Lazarus pit could tell you- is Lazarus water. Lazarus water, and Jason.

Jason, probably coughing and spitting up glowing green goop, does eventually crawl out. After the initial fretting and checking for damage, he gets cleaned up, and he seems fine. Further observation indicates that other than some minor stiffness from being in the same position for days, he’s healthy.

For a bit, everything seems fine. Everyone is still on edge from whatever the hell all that was, but there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with him, other than having a somewhat more even temper, and being more likely play nice on the comms during patrols.

Of course, this is until he falls through a couch while reading, and is found struggling to get up as his arms phase in and out of the floor.

————

For anyone who’s confused, this is a Halfa!Jason story(?) plot(?), and the basic premise is that Jason’s core had been forming for a long while now, but hadn’t been fully formed yet due to a lack of lots of good ectoplasm. The emotions he’s been absorbing from living in a city, and especially the fear he’s been getting as Red Hood and during rogue attacks, has been really helping out though, and has allowed his forming core enough strength to mostly filter out a bunch of the nastiest gunk left over.

Unfortunately Jason was constantly in danger, and his core wanted time to focus on finishing itself, as lots of newly formed cores do. So it geared up to spend a lot of energy on this (hence eating so much -sustaining the squishy human body while his core is using so much energy is important), but quickly “realized” that Jason wouldn’t stop going out and getting injured on his patrols for anything short of a medical situation of “this is going to affect my immediate future if I don’t treat this now” scale. So it did, and then when it was ready to actually buckle down and go for it, it gathered up the nastiest ecto it could find, and used it to make a protective barrier around him so that A) he couldn’t go anywhere and get himself injured, and B) anything that might want to snack on or harm a vulnerable core with a currently very vulnerable body would be repelled by the sheer nastiness of it.

And when it was over, out came a fully-formed halfa!Jason!

Good luck with those new powers, buddy.

[blorbocedes]

am I a galex writer now. am I someone who writes galex for fun now. what is this. this came to me fully formed, much like Athena's birth after Zeus. inspired by conversations with @boxboxlewis

Alex smells good. Alex always smells so good. It's like, floral and sweet, like jasmine scented and then as George kisses the side of his jaw, the crook of his neck, the musk of skin and salt that's just Alex underneath it all.

They'd sat down on the couch to watch Netflix because George pays for the subscription to watch The Crown, and he had googled multiple times that he knew what that entailed. It was very date night of them, not that they did date night.

His other hand drops to Alex’s crotch, over his jeans. He's not hard yet, but George can fix that in a matter of minutes.

Alex shifts, taking the ministrations George was putting on his neck patiently before gingerly pushing him off.

“Let’s just watch something, yeah?” Alex asks, pointing at the telly that wasn't even on.

Oh. Of course. George had gotten overly excited. They're supposed to wait until the Netflix movie meanders off into mediocrity and boredom before they can start getting hot and heavy. There's rituals to this, the articles had varied on when to start the chilling part of Netflix and chill, some stating the movie was not necessary at all but clearly George has found the grave error of his ways. He turns on the first movie that's recommended, it is completely cliched and played over; but Alex seems enraptured.

They end up finishing the whole movie.

They don't have sex.

Alex sees other people. George is strictly monogamous, not that Alex is aware. They've never talked about not seeing other people. It works for them, if George accepts it, and he’ll accept Alex in whatever form he comes. If George doesn't think about it, it honestly doesn't even bother him that much. George just has to be better than everyone else so that once Alex has had his fill of the world, he’ll come back to George. It's a doable goal.

Alex and George grab dinner outside, after work. It's a cozy sort of restaurant, dimly lit warm lighting with greasy food and free flowing alcohol.

Well, it's actually a pub.

But they serve a mean spaghetti carbonara. They talk about the work day, down a few pints, Alex touches his shoulder twice while laughing and it makes George feel warm inside – like he scored a point on an imaginary scoresheet he keeps track of.

Their knees are touching, in the uncomfortable stools by the counter but it is also dark enough and hidden in the shadows that George feels emboldened enough to put a hand of Alex’s thigh, over the thin polyester material. He spreads his fingers, trying to take as much space as his spidery hands allow, lay a claim he doesn't have.

“D’you wanna head back to my place?” George tries to ask casually, but can't keep the heat out of his voice. Or the hope.

Alex looks at him, considering, and for a second George thinks he’ll say yes. “It's just – I've had a long day.” Alex grimaces, scratching his neck he does when he's uncomfortable.

George removes his hand to hold his empty pint glass, trying to outtalk the sting of rejection, casually and smoothly.

“No worries, mate, honestly. I get it. Long. Long days. And also work. Yeah. Everyone hates work. Ugh, what a bummer, right? That ol’ nine to fiver.”

George has this part memorized. Alex’s grip on his hair gets a little too tight, his voice hitches, sometimes if he's very lucky there's a quiet ‘Georgie’, but his hips jerk, hits George in the back of his throat – who has a gag reflex but forces himself to hold down as Alex finishes inside his mouth. It's like solid, tangible proof that he's doing it right. George swallows dutifully, as recommended by Comsopolitan’s 69 Sex Tips On How To Keep Your Man. #57 If you spit, you might as well quit.

George keeps a water bottle beside because Alex doesn't like kissing the taste of himself. He gets it, it's gross in theory. He doesn't actually get it, he likes the taste of Alex in his mouth, but he can understand theoretically why someone could be opposed. He gargles the taste, it's not very sexy but it is efficient and allows him to catch his breath.

Alex, completely spent, lies down on his back and George can see the swell of his chest up and down. The small tattoo on his hip of a flower, that George covers with his hand every time. The warmth of his skin, how pale and undeserving George’s pasty hands look in stark comparison. Alex is like his dream boy. George climbs on top of him and kisses the corner of his mouth. Alex groans, still overstimulated.

“Shh. You don't have to do anything. Can I just — can I look at you?” George asks hoarsely, he's been hard since before he's had Alex in his mouth, it's like a Pavlovian response at this point.

Alex nods in a ‘have at it’ sort of way, and George jerks off just staring at Alex under him, who has his eyes closed. Just him. Just his.

Alex doesn't reach out to help, but George is so strung up he barely needs it, before he's spilling over his own hand. Before he can wipe it against his shirt, a drop or two land on Alex’s chest, over the smooth expanse of his sternum, and in one swift movement George instead of wiping it away, licks it away clean.

“Sorry.” No goodnight kisses then.

“S’ fine. Close the door on your way out.” Alex mumbles sleepily.

Alex is kissing him, Alex is kissing him and this is all George wants. His skin feels like it's on fire where he's being touched, where Alex’s hand is on his neck, and it is embarassing to sport a semi from just a few minutes of kissing but he is, he is hard. His eyes are closed but he's imagining Alex is looking at him with dark eyes, like he's worth something.

“Eager, isn't he?” A distinctly female voice asks, breaking George’s immersion that it's just them.

“Yeah. Always.” George can hear the laugh in Alex’s voice. And the illusion shatters completely.

All the fond gazes and little inside jokes and the fact that Alex doesn't even touch George unless his girlfriend is down for a threesome, that when confronted with Lily being right there George can't pretend that Alex is his, that this is anything more than a pity fuck. George stares at the paused Netflix movie screen and he feels so, so far away, wedged between Alex and Lily while he's the only one shirtless, disheveled, always wanting too much.

Alex smells like jasmine because of Lily’s perfume. He imagines Alex going down on her and it's too much, and kissing her afterwards. It hurts in the way things he can't have hurts; the emptiness of longing.

“I’m – I’m sorry. I can't do this.” George shakes, getting out of Alex’s wonderful wonderful hands and collecting his shirt from the ground.

With his dignity and rapid shrinking half hard dick, George leaves, and unsuccessfully tries to hail a taxi – which doesn't stop -- thinking him to be some sort of pervert.

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52424179/chapters/132621133

part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks/734441798135676928/mobius-stands-under-that-tree-for-a-long-time?source=share

. . . . .

The image of Loki glowed brighter as Mobius got closer, but it was so blurry and kept fading in and out, like he wanted to stay, but kept getting pulled away.

"Loki?," Mobius aked. "Loki, can you hear me?"

The image glowed brighter, particularly his eyes. They glowed a gold deeper than the sunlight. Mobius took that to mean "yes."

"How are you here? Can you speak through this... thing?" Honestly, what was this supposed to be?

As he said that the image started to flicker and fade. He thought he could see Loki almost perfectly before he disappeared entirely. "No!" He put his hand against the glass as the last of the green left the window, leaving a warm buzz tingling the skin of his palm. That was more than a little strange.

Was Loki trying to reach out? Why now? Mobius had spent weeks trying to find a way to reach Loki, get any word through. Of course it's as soon as he leaves the TVA that Loki finds a way to get word to him. Though, it obviously wasn't easy. How did he do it?

Mobius sighs. He's going to have to go back now. He needs to talk to O.B. to get answers and let B-15 know because they agreed to keep in touch and to let each other know if and when something happens.

He adjusts the settings for the time door and goes through. He steps into the TVA and there's a room full of the bustling people he had last seen a day ago. He walks down the hall and it doesn't take long to find B-15. She spots him. "Mobius! What's wrong? You just left!"

Ordinarily, Mobius would make a crack at how she was just saying he'd be missed, even though he knows she's just saying this because it's concerning that he'd be back so soon. But there is, in fact, reason to be concerned about him being back so soon, so he'll just get to the point.

"I saw Loki."

"Please tell me you're talking about a variant or past version of Loki."

"Nope, I'm talking about our Loki, the one holding the multiverse together in a dimension none of us can reach."

"Okay. Let's hope this doesn't mean the multiverse is going to turn to spaghetti again," she says as she starts walking. Mobius follows her. They end up at the lab where O.B. and Casey are overseeing a team of people to work on devices that would hopefully make all their jobs easier. Currently, they are huddled together over a counter full of notebooks discussing plans for what Mobius is pretty sure they said was a Biotemporal Energy Conserver at some point, though he doesn't remember what exactly it was supposed to do.

O.B. looks up. "Mobius! You're back! Has the multiverse started to spaghetti again?"

"No," Mobius says, "But Loki has found a way to show himself to me through a sort of reflection in a window. It was only for a moment, but he was definitely there, and it was definitely him. Which means there's got to be a way to contact him."

"What could have kept him from contacting you before now?" Casey asked.

"Lots of things," O.B. responds. "First of all, Loki is weaving together branches that are infinitely being created and each one needs to be woven in as it's made so that it doesn't break off and die. Secondly, I'm sure it takes a while to get used to before feeling like you can even try diverting your attention to something else."

"Still, he exists in a place outside of time and you said he had figured out how to control his time slipping, which is why he was able to bring all the branches together. If he can go essentially anywhere in time, couldn't he have contacted us sooner, even if it would have been later for him?" Casey asks.

"The TVA also exists outside of time. Maybe that caused some sort of interference," B-15 interjected.

"Yes!" O.B. exclaims. "His magic, focus, and potentially life force, are all being put into the time lines. Since the TVA doesn't exist on a time line, he couldn't reach us. But Mobius stepped onto a timeline, allowing Loki to reach him."

"He must be having difficulty sparing any of his power for anything other than keeping the multiverse alive - which, when said allowed is pretty understandable; that's a lot to handle - if the best he could do was show a momentary reflection of himself," theorizes Casey.

"But none of this explains how we're going to get him back," Mobius exclaims, running a hand through his hair, tiredly.

The room goes quiet. O.B. is the first to break the silence. "Mobius, even if we find a way to contact Loki, the fact that Loki can barely even contact us at all is not only evidence suggesting it could be near impossible for us to contact him without a power source to match his, but that it would be impossible to take him away from the branches without them falling apart and being destroyed. We might be able to reach Loki, but we almost certainly can't bring him back."

Mobius can't help but look away dejectedly. B-15 puts a hand on his shoulder. "I know that seeing Loki probably gave you a lot of hope that we could bring him back. But you were just starting to let it get through to yourself that we couldn't. We'll try to reach Loki, but you should be careful not to backtrack too much on processing the loss of Loki, even if he's not fully gone."

Mobius sighs, his hands on his hips as he nods at the floor. "I know," he says, "Sorry, I didn't mean to phrase it like that. I just got caught up in all the emotions."

"You don't have to apologize for that. We know how you feel." She pats him gently but firmly on the shoulder and smiles at him, sadly and sympathetically. He smiles back as best he can and pats her hand back before taking a breath and standing up straight.

"Alright, so where do we begin?"

. . . . .

There's so many branches, so many universes, worlds, people. There are so many people. So many of them are remarkably similar to one another and it's fascinating how many of them dislike each other for precisely the traits they have in common.

But so many of them are different too. It truly is endless, how many possibilities there are for even one singular person on one tiny world, in a single universe, in a single branch. It's never-ending, always changing, and always moving.

"It's so easy to get lost in this," Loki thinks. When there's nothing to do here, but sit and watch over the timelines he's putting quite literally everything he has into keeping alive, it's easy to let your mind wander to their beauty, and all the intricacies of the secrets and stories they each hold.

But still, he aches. In fact, his heart aches and yearns far more than it ever had before. He almost misses the days when loneliness was so easily disguised by anger and villainy. His envy and distrust carving into his heart like the knives he believed were the only form of love he could ever have for himself. At least then, no one was able to convince him otherwise and therefore, he couldn't be disappointed by someone betraying him or grieve for someone taken from him.

Besides, even then he knew he didn't deserve love. Betraying people was his entire character and he made Thor grieve over him many times. He enjoyed it; he reveled in it, back when Loki was always behaving like a child throwing a tantrum, desperately wanting to not be forgotten or ignored. That was back when Odin's opinion of him was all that he really lived for, even if he would have loathed to admit it.

So much has changed since then. Since the day he let go of his father's scepter and fell through the cosmos to eventually meet Thanos. Since failing to take over New York and getting captured by his brother and his obnoxious friends. (Even if he can now somewhat understand why they'd fight so hard to protect the world they care about, most of them are still obnoxious in Loki's opinion. Especially that Tony Stark chap. Not to mention, he will never forgive the Hulk for throwing him around like a rag doll.)

Even the one thing he never expected to change changed. For the first time in his rather long life, Loki actually had friends. It should be impossible, but after getting everything he'd ever known about how time and reality work flipped on its head so hard it probably had a concussion, he had to save the universe with a group of random people, who would become most dearest to him, even dearer to him than himself. And these people would teach him how to care about others and do so good a job at teaching him this that he devotes the rest of his eternity to protecting them all at the expense of his happiness.

And he had happiness. He had thought he could have even more once they saved everyone. Sure O.B. and Casey would probably settle into a life of technological advancements and B-15 would continue dedicating her life to protecting people in the ways she does best, not unlike the way Loki ultimately has. Obviously, Silvie has made her choice already.

But Mobius. Maybe Mobius would try to find his life on a timeline, or even just a life on a timeline that he'd like to settle for, but Loki doesn't think that will be enough for him. He's had so many talks with Mobius. In the centuries it took to learn all that O.B. knew, he'd be lying if he said he didn't sneak in a few breaks to have odd chats with his friends, more often Mobius than anyone else.

He was just so easy to talk too. Too easy, really. He had to practice serious restraint in finding time with Mobius through those centuries, and still, he couldn't keep away entirely. No one has ever made him feel so safe and seen and wanted as Mobius has. Seeing Mobius smile at something Loki said made all the time slipping worth it. He really wishes he could see that smile again, but he hasn't been able to find any of his friends on the time lines. He tried looking for the TVA, but it was a struggle to take his focus off the timelines without it falling apart.

But then, one day, he felt something familiar. He had grown used to the instinct to reach out to all the variants of his friends. B-15 was a pro-wrestler champion on one timeline. Casey had been a struggling painter. He'd seen O.B. as a president, a school janitor, and "The world's smartest slug," complete with glasses. He'd glimsed countless versions of all his friends, but none of them were his friends. This was especially true with Mobius. He'd occassionally find "Don" and check on him, just to see even a glimpse of his Mobius. In fact, Don was who he mainly talked to through the centuries because he didn't want to risk affecting Mobius', memory too much.

But this feeling. This was far more familiar than any of the variants. It was even closer to Mobius than Don. Could it be?

Loki searches through the branches with his magic until he finds Mobius, standing in front of the house he doesn't remember living in. He doesn't want to spook Mobius by just popping in (He also doesn't want to pull away from the other branches, lest everything falls apart again, but you know, priorities.), so he uses the tree covering Mobius as his eyes, and the sunlight warming his back as his ears, watching through the golden rays as Silvie breathes in the freedom she now finally has and listening through the creaking of the bark as Mobius says the next thing he plans to do is to just wait there and "Let time pass."

Loki can feel Mobius' sadness, so he urges the sun to shine a little bit brighter both on Mobius and through the leaves of the tree so they throw a peaceful tint over the area. There's a reason he's always liked green. It has a calming effect on people. He watches Mobius take a breath and just stand there.

It hurts to see him like this. So still and not being pulled towards any particular directi- oh never mind, he's started walking towards the jet skis. Time is a speedy little rascal, isn't it?

Mobius has an idea, and what Loki thinks is the most depressed excuse for a smirk, crosses Mobius' face. It's not difficult to figure out what he's planning on doing.

For someone who lit up so brilliantly when talking about these watercrafts, he seemed to approach the thought of finally getting to take one for a spin like it was a chore. Just another thing to check off his list for the day. Hopefully, he'll cheer up a bit while actually on the jet ski.

. . . . .

He did not cheer up much from actually being on the jet ski.

And now he was moping into a bowl of salad! Honestly, Loki is still getting used to the bizarre way time seems to pass for him in this realm, especially when it seems to change up every time he interacts with a branch, which is especially frequently. However! Surely, it has been some time since he left. Right? Maybe? It really would be helpful if he had multiple clocks for each realm visible at all times, with big glowing signs that say "you are here" as those mortals from Midgard have taken to putting on their maps.

Either way, he had hoped Mobius would have at least started to get past...well, everything. He had dropped life at the TVA and was now free to go wherever and do whatever he liked. He can have a life now. He ought to make the most of it.

He watches Mobius look at the salad bowl like a kicked puppy watching its favorite toy get incinerated (not that Loki has ever seen that specific scenario).

Ah. This is the first time Loki has seen any of his friends from the TVA. They last saw him walk through a portal holding a bunch of time branches and looking resigned to a miserable fate. "There could be a slight possibility," Loki thinks, "That they don't have any solid evidence that I'm alive and well... This could be worrying for them." Loki sits with an admittedly obvious realization that he probably should have had as soon as he found Mobius or Sylvie, for about a second.

Then Mobius gets up and starts fiddling with a tempad. "Oh shit," Loki says to himself before sending his energy to a nearby window reflection and a breeze to draw Mobius' attention to it.

He can affect things on the branches from where he is to an extent. Mostly it's just making illusions, shifting light, and some minor elemental control, like causing breezes or shifts in tide. Now he projects his image through the glass. He hasn't tried to put anything of himself onto the other planes and timelines yet. Now's as good a time as any to try.

The image is there enough for Mobius to see him. However, as Loki gradually makes the image clearer, he suddenly feels a shift on his plane. The branches rumbled as Yggdrasil (he's taken to calling it that because, I mean, come on. That's basically what it is, isn't it? A grand tree made up of space and time, holding all the realms together? What else was he going to call it?) creaked side to side ever so slightly.

But however slightly, it's an absolutely massive tree, so any movement it makes causes a bit of an upset. Luckily, it didn't seem to affect the actual branches, at least not outwardly. Their lights didn't flicker. None of them were broken. He was going to have to send his consciousness through them all to make absolutely sure they were alright. But then he hears Mobius call to him.

"Loki?"

Instantly, his attention comes back to him, but he's careful to keep hold of the branches more purposefully. It seems pretty okay. He's looking at Mobius, but can feel the branches in his hands and on his back, wrapped around him. They feel calm. Interesting. Mobius does not feel calm. Woops. He tries to make his image clearer as it had faded further, but then he takes in the details of Mobius' face. He's looking at Mobius through his projection now. The Loki he sees is him as he is. Mobius looks worried...and tired. Maybe he shouldn't have interfered. Mobius just got hold of a life where he was free to do as he chose, away from the TVA and all the baggage that comes with being manipulated and dragged around by what are essentially Time Gods. Now, Loki is just popping back into his life randomly to cause an upset in Mobius' quest for contentment?

He should've thought this through more carefully. He pulls the window image away. and gets a glimpse of Mobius reaching for him. Oh, that hurts. But also, not? He doesn't want Mobius to be distressed, especially not by him, but at the same time, that's proof, isn't it? Proof that Mobius cares about him.

Oh, what is he doing? Yearning for the attentions of a human who is truly better off without him. Loki knows perfectly well the sort of things that happen when he and his kin interfere with the lives of mortals. The results are almost as bad as the catastrophic tragedies that happen when they get more personally involved and attached to them.

As he feels Mobius leave the branch, presumably to go to the TVA, he realizes he needs to consider his next steps carefully. But first, he should really check on the branches more thoroughly to make sure they're okay after Yggdrasil's little earthquake. Spacequake? Timequake? Whatever.

He looks through each branch without trying to enter it like he had just done with Mobius. He doesn't know how long it takes to get through them. He doesn't know how long it takes to do anything anymore, but he does get through them and there's no more to be concerned about than usual. What there is to be concerned about is what Loki's going to do about Mobius.

But there isn't much concern to be given before Loki hears Mobius' voice clear as day, calling out to him on one of the timelines.

. . . . .

Part 3:

https://www.tumblr.com/fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks/737291662539309056/loki-mobius-called-out?source=share

[hueberryshortcake]

hellooooo tagged by @delladucker !!!<3 yes it took me two weeks to remember and finish this don't worry about it

how many fics do you have on ao3?

- currently 10

what's your total ao3 word count?

- 52,149..... when did that happen

what fandoms do you write for?

- currently usually ducktales of course but I still mess around in my howl's castle series drafts every once in awhile. everything else is from when I was afflicted with being 14 and doesn't count

what are your top five fics by kudos?

- "giving off sparks" which I did not put much effort into but I guess the people needed more Castle in the Air content

- the singular thing that survived the post-tma purge, that michael mcfuckhands thing, which is allowed to remain simply bc it was a little funny

- "wednesday morning 3am" - yeahhhHHhHhHh

- "after changes upon changes" - I will never forget the day I found out there was a secret sixth verse to the boxer and I think I may have ascended. anyway yeah this one was cute

- "prodigal" yea

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

- I try to but I'm shy and my brain is made out of spaghetti and pop rocks so if you left one and I didn't respond. <3.

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

- in general? probably one wtnv fic from the Bad Times (freshman year). attached to my ao3 probably "a home she could not keep" I have thoughts about Goldie o Gilt

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

- OUVGHGR idk I think that kind of depends on your definition of happy ending..... wednesday morning is cute changes upon changes is cute prodigal I definitely was writing the end like "this is so silly and sappy. POST!" but like idk I'm largely tired with pointless angst personally. like I'm okay with things sucking really bad for our heroes in the middle but ending a story on an upward trajectory is important to me when I'm writing

do you get hate on your fics?

- sometimes people say weird stuff about della in my comments and it makes me mad because she is just some guy

do you write smut?

- no I'd rather lock my barbies in the house and then shake it and yell EARTHQUAKE than make them kiss or heaven forbid.... anyway I have more important things to be doing personally

do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've ever written?

- no I do like the occasional silly au though like the howl pendragon/ben suliman/sophie hatter Vicious au which appealed to exactly two people and never saw the light of day

have you ever had a fic stolen?

- no can you imagine if someone broke into ur house and then stole only a spiral notebook full of crayon drawings and disney stickers. it would be like that to me and it would be so funny

have you ever had a fic translated?

no that would be sick

have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no but there was a time when ex wife and I were co brainstorming so hard it may well have been cowriting if you squinted

what's your all time favorite ship?

- howl and sophie jenkins-pendragon-hatter........... they were holding hands and smiling and smiling quite unable to stop....... I gotta take a walk

what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

- hallmark chronic illness sophie hatter christmas..... also I just found a document that's five sentences of Benjamin Chang actually stuck in a time loop in s6e1. cool

what are your writing strengths?

- I completely blanked because I think I suck at everything so I phoned a friend and asked my ex wife and he said "your writing strengths are themes and motifs and also sick ass metaphors" Thank you ex wife

what are your writing weaknesses?

- actually writing

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

- ummmm like I've written some stuff in French before because I'm proficient in it but I always heavily double check everything I've written so idk. I keep it to a couple lines at maximum because I'm not super comfortable with it

first fandom you wrote for?

- there isn't a way to answer this that isn't incredibly embarrassing so I guess that time I wrote a self insert character who was kind of weird and not like anybody else and got sorted into ravenclaw (I was eleven)

favorite fic you've ever written?

- oh how to choose! if I've posted it in the last two years I like it. I reread prodigal the most and people seemed to like it a lot but whenever I reread Wednesday Morning 3AM I'm like wait this rocks. wed3am is like my eldest daughter carved immaculately from marble that I forget exists and prodigal is the son I worship despite his formatting errors (they are part of the charm I'm not fixing them. I'm too stubborn)

tagging..... @justaboot @aaandbackstabbed

[chocolatechimsugakookie2]

My headcanons about each 4*Town member 😜

Jesse

Full name: Jesse Coleson Smith

Born and raised in San Francisco

Birthday: July 1

Age: 22

Height: 6’2

Only speaks English, but knows some German because of his grandmother.

Is learning Korean mainly because of Tae

Has an older sister (24)

Graduated high school early at age 17 which is also the age he had his kids.

Once he graduated early, he started going to art school.

Left art school to debut in 4*Town

Fears: hates snakes, and not knowing what is going on with his kids

Favorite food/snack(s): cheeseburgers, Oreos, kiwi, steak, MACAROONS, Hershey bars (with almonds), nachos, and etc.

Makes amazing burgers! He is very proud of his burger making skills “Yo Jess! Put some burgers on the grill!”

100% wears a “kiss the chef” apron for the shits and giggles

Cooking skills: 10/10

How scary when angry: 7/10 it truly depends on what happened to get a scary Jesse! He is the type to talked his anger out through gritted teeth

Played lacrosse

Good at American football

Can do more than pottery!! Makes great paintings

Good at surfing

Likes hiking and rock climbing

Pretty tech-savvy

Can play all types of guitars extremely well. Also the piano.

When he makes decisions or say certain things that shows he can be the mature oldest or just talking in general, the members say things like “yes father”. “okay dadddd”. “Father Jess is at it again”. “He swear he somebody’s dad”

Plays video games like a religion with Tae and Aaron T (sometimes all the member)

Likes giving the members ugly/stank looks just for fun

Favorite animals are elephants and pandas

Road rage 9/10 baby is a slight honker and yeller!!when it happens it’s surprising every time to the members because they don’t expect it. “I had the fucking right of way you damn dumbass!!” “CHOOSE A FUCKING LANE”

Not lactose, but prefers Almond milk (like me🙂)

Nicknames: Jess, old man, gramps, Mr. Dilf, Uncle Jesse, Nick Carter (Aaron T’s lil joke), and etc.

Robaire

Full name: Robaire Louis Beaumont

Born and raised in Toronto

Would go back and forth to France

Birthday: March 12

Age: 20

Height: 5’11

Speaks French, Haitian Creole, and English.

Mom: Haitian, Dad: from Lyon, France

A younger brother (16), and a older brother (23)

Fears: he thinks he will never find actual love and trypophobia

Favorite food/snack(s): chicken Alfredo/shrimp Alfredo, COOKIES, peaches, hibachi, Red velvet cake,  snickers, Reeses, and etc.

There is not a day when Ro doesn’t say “can we go get some cookies or something”

Makes a great variety of pastas.

Will make a small dish of spaghetti ever now and then because T lovessss spaghetti “Ro! Hey Ro! My favorite homie! Did you know you’re like the best in the group!!” “Yeahhh mhmm, what do you want from me?” “……..Can you make me spaghetti”

Cooking skills rated 8.5/10

How scary when angry 8/10 kind of like Jesse, it depends on what happened to get scary Ro, but will have no problem going off

Can play rugby

Good at American football

Is pretty decent at painting

Ran track

Good at piano and an acoustic guitar

Sometimes is Aaron Zs workout buddie

When it’s time to be the leader the members do take him serious; however, when he is just talking and says the “I am being serious” nobody ever takes him serious! Especially with the facial expressions he makes.

Like going for walks to clear his mind

Flips off Z just for the hell of it

Favorite animals are probably giraffes and lions

Road rage: 5/10 he is more of a “come on man!”

Nicknames: Ro, Bear (Baire), RoRo, bitch (from Aaron Z of course), big shot, and etc.

Aaron T

Full name: Aaron Diego Alejandro Juan Torrez

Born in New Jersey (had a big fight deciding on choosing either Arizona, Miami, or The Bronx)

Moved to Florida when he was 7, but moved back to Jersey at 10.

Birthday: October 30

Age: 19

Height: 5’11

Loves holding that he is two months older over Zs head

Speaks Spanish and English

Mom: Colombian Dad: Mexican

Has a twin younger sister and brother (17) and two older sisters (23) and (25)

Fears: he is afraid of losing memories and what lurks in the dark.

Favorite food/snack(s): SPAGHETTI, pocky, twizzlers, mangoes, kit-kats, Takis, s’mores, beef jerky, honey buns (specifically the big ones from like vending machines not little debbie)

Will go to the gas station at anytime to get a bag of takis

Cooking skill 9/10 is actually a really great cook if he doesn’t make a mistake and causes a fire!

Can make a variety of great Hispanic dishes that he mainly learned from his momma and some his dad

The members was scared when it was T’s turn to cook for the first time, but that quickly vanished when they saw how good he actually is, “wow… this actually looks good”, “damn T I am impressed”, “whoaaaa this actually taste good”, “you sure you didn’t buy takeout and set it up nicely?”

How scary when angry: 9/10 now I see T as a guy who does not like confrontation or any negative conflict that comes!! However, hitting the wrong buttons you will get a smart mouth T especially when it comes to ignorant interviewers! When T is angry he switches languages every second and the words are never kind. He sometimes gets the “I am pissed” tears running down, so yeah he mad mad

Has ADHD

Amazing at drums and keyboard

Mens gymnastics

Can play soccer and Baseball

Likes doing parkour

Loves swimming

Amazing at skateboarding (dude literally owns every type of board! Long board, penny board, etc)

Gets scolded by Everyone except Tae when he does flips in the house. (Tae is the one who eggs him on to do them)

Road rage: 10/10 mans is cussing like a damn sailor, flipping people off, and honking the horn like a clown. Afterwards he continues driving calmly with a smile like it never happened “THAT WAS SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT BRO” “PENDEJO” “HOW YOU EVEN GET A DAMN LICENSES” “Me personally, I don’t mind hitting people🙂”

Favorite animals: Capybaras, wolves, dogs, and flamingos

Nicknames: Ron, Taaron, Aaron number 1, Ronnie, ugly (from Jesse), Diego, etc.

Aaron Z

Full name: Aaron Zao

Born and raised in Houston Texas

Birthday: December 18

Age 19

Height: 6’5

speaks Mandarin and English

Mom: Black, Dad: Chinese

A younger sister (5), and an older brother (23)

Fears: The Ocean. Don’t get confused the boy loves the beach and swimming! He just thinks about how no one really knows much about the ocean and what’s truly in it and the fact on how deep it goes.

Favorite food/snack(s): Seafood Boil, PANCAKES, Cap’n Crunch, Slim Jim’s, Gatorades, chocolate milk, Takis, BBQ chips, granola bars, hi-chews, and etc

He lovesss a good seasoned seafood boil!! He has expensive but good taste 😌

Cooking skills: 7.5/10

Now Z can grill like a boss, similar to Jesse but more on the other meats than burgers. Can make amazing lo mein, fried rice, egg rolls, etc, He can cook seafood, but he doesn’t cook often so that’s why it’s a 7.5. “Z…” “no” “wait Please” “what” “I just wanted some egg rolls 🥹” “ you know how to make them too bruh” “please” “…fine”

BIG pancake fan!!! Especially when Jesse or Robaire makes them!! 🤌🏾✨chefs kiss

Jesse: What do y’all want for breakfast?

Tae: I think we should have-

Z: Pancakes😐

Tae: …

Tae: I said I think we should have-

Z: pancakes😑

T: well I want waffles

Z: *death stare*

T: *gulps*

Ro: I guess we’re having pancakes then

How scary when angry: 10/10 I’m telling you the looks he gives when he is mad is a look no one wants! He will be calm with that look which means he is over and done! When he is yelling he will say shit that hurts and cuss up a storm

Amazing at basketball

Will play One on one with any member and break their ankles

Also good at track

Goes for morning jogs/run with a different member almost every morning

Plays acoustic and piano

Also can do a few flips! Learned them to add to his dance moves

He is really good at drawing and gets kind of shy when people tell him

Loves Nike

Loves driving his car at night (gets scolded for it though)

Will play Video games if he has time

Road Rage: 6/10 he is a “yo man what the fuck you doing” “Hit the damn car! I dare you” “carry yo punk ass on” “get out the street with yo Jay-walking ass”

Favorite animal: Rhinos, Dinosaurs, Hawks, and cheetahs.

Nicknames: Air, Zaaron, Michael Jordan (From Tae), Jack the skeleton (everyone), Tree-man, stone, and etc.

Taeyoung

Full name: Choi Taeyoung (in Korea you write the last name first incase someone doesn’t know😁)

Born and Raised in Daegu, Korea

Lived in Seoul from age 10-12

Birthday September 20 (Virgo power✨)

Age: 18

Height 5’10 (he will be 6’0 when he is 21)

Speaks Korean and English

Has an older brother (27)

Tae is an uncle because his brother has a 3 year old son

Fears: ending up alone and heights (even tho he loves roller coasters)

Favorite food/snack(s): Tteok-bokki, French fries, CAKE, pocky, cherries, strawberries, kimchi fried rice, fried chicken, churros, Bibimbap, and etc.

“Is someone one’s birthday come up?” “No” “Not that I know of” “I don’t think so man” “No why?” “Just wanted an excuse to buy cake” “oh” “I’m going to buy it anyway though🤷🏻‍♂️”

Cooking skills 100/10

Tae is an amazing cook specifically with Korean dishes!!

His specialties are definitely Samgyeopsal, Tteok-bokki, Gimbap, kimchi, and Bulgolgi. “Hey Tae do you mind doing Korean Bbq for dinner? Jesse said he’ll help.” “Yeah! I got y’all”

Exceptional at piano

Great at soccer

Pretty good at American football which shocked everyone

Extremely tech-savvy this man can hack things I swear 

Started painting his nails because he like how cool the rockstars looked with it

Wont hesitate to talk about someone in Korean

Was training to be in a K-pop group at age 11-12 but begged his parents to let him audition for the boy group he heard his peers talking about in California

Self taught himself English! started at the age of 10 He became fully fluent by age 13

He still had a accent while speaking til age 15 but now it comes and goes

Use to call the other members hyung a lot by accident when they first met, but they gotten use to it so he sometimes still does it (hyung is what a younger male would call an older male who’s either is his actual brother or is like his brother (as in close friends).

Loves video games

How scary when angry: 11/10 Please do not underestimate the youngest! He will tell someone off in a hot minute and keep a grudge until he feels like it (only if you really did him dirty). Yes he is a very sweet boy but making him mad is not something to play with because he will mean every word he says! Don’t test his patience he has a 3 strike warning.

Road Rage: 7.5 he is quite the shit talker! “I will run over you”. “널 때리는 걸 망설이지 않을 거야, 멍청아.” “THE LIGHT IS GREEN WOMAN”. “바보”

Favorite animals: Birds! Specifically Doves and Peacocks, cats, dogs, tigers, bears, basically all animals at this point.

Nicknames: Tae, Chef Boyardee (from T), Tae-Tae, Youngie, Gremlin (everyone), ankle biter (Jesse), and etc.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/1/22

watched a good movie made a good soup

listening

Witch for a Night by Sugar Pie DeSanto. i think any song that starts with the lines

I'm gonna be a party-poppin, show-stoppin, wig-floppin witch for a night!

will never disappoint you.

_

reading

The Markup did a huge crunchy report about how they figured out poorer, less white neighborhoods got slower, more expensive internet than their wealthy white neighbors, and a more accessible writeup.

they do absolutely exquisite data visualization.

good data viz really makes a fuckin difference. this is damning!!! look at this shit!!!

and none of the ISPs had anything productive to say about their methodology!!! not literally bulletproof but pretty damn fuckin close, since it's pulling price and address info directly from ISP sites.

_

watching

Saloum (2021, dir. Herbulot). this is a West African terror film with a good dollop of acid western stylization to create the world's tensest dinner parties as a curse does what curses do. i really really loved this bc if we take a "western" as any movie with a group of mercenaries in an arid colonized land, it is a fun take on what a modern spaghetti western can be with all the visual flair and pathos i love about this subgenre when it's good.

this is the kind of film tarantino loves to rip off. Herbulot cites two video games as direct influence and they are rdr2 and metal gear solid v.

i do want to underscore that the director is very clear about his "terror" categorization:

But the cursed king that they're talking about, it's a real story. It's real mythology. That is from the Saloum. And so this story is real. This myth is real. This curse is real. Now beyond that, what's the curse and how does it work? I don't know yet. I don't want to know (laughs). But that was our starting point. It was essential for me that, if we were going to shoot the Saloum region, we wanted to be as respectful as we could be, especially for [collaborator] Pamela, because that's her birth region.

this is a really fucking tight eighty minutes. apparently this was originally closer to three hours long, with a lot of backstory about the Hyenas (a gang of mercenaries extracting a drug lord and a briefcase full of gold) and Awa (the girl they meet in a tourist camp when their plane comes down in the desert after sabotage).

this is a film, like all my favorite spaghetti westerns, that is very concerned with revenge and what makes a hero. it frames most of this during the world's tensest series of dinner parties at this camp as they try to get fuel and resin to fix their plane. and then, of course, things go sideways.

this is a very beautiful and well-made movie (and not just Good For A Budget Movie, just straight up a good lookin movie) with a lot of care put into framing and setting up shots. the director used to be a comic book artist and used to shoot music videos, so the framing and shot setup is really thoughtful. this movie is simply fun to watch. it is very good at holding and building tension, everything unravels in slow motion until it doesn't and then it's a level of your favorite first-person shooter. it does suffer from the "the monster isn't actually as scary as the anticipation of seeing the monster" but this group of mercs looks so fuckin sick all the time it more than makes up for it imo. yes he is wearing white dishwashing gloves paired with a machete. also versace pants and shoes.

this podcast episode was very helpful bc their guest is from the Gambia and had a ton of important and useful context to give. this is fundamentally a "recap the movie and do some bits about it" podcast so your tolerance may vary.

i would strongly recommend signing up for a free week of Shudder with a burner email and watching this movie legally, bc it will almost certainly never see wide release :(

how'd i find this: like many other things, this is indirectly @morrak 's fault. last year he said "hey have you listened to this podcast episode dunking on the hyperloop" to which i said "no i have not" and then fell into the alice caldwell-kelly podcast cinematic universe. her podcast Kill James Bond is not my favorite, bc it is mostly a podcast recapping spy films and doing bits about them, which i have a limited tolerance for, but it is very good at going WOW THERE'S A LOT OF RAPE IN THIS BOND FILM and reminding me i should not rewatch literally any of the older movies, as much as i love daniel craig's outings.

_

playing

i did nick valentine's final companion quest in fo4 and cried my fucking eyes out, again. why won't they let me romance the robot and why is he trapped in this incredibly mediocre game :(((

_

making

red lentil soup with lemon bc i realized if i buy a bunch of soup-serving-size-i-like plastic off brand tupperware, i can have microwaveable soup lunch for much cheaper than just buying a lot of canned soup. and it does not require any more prep than setting an alarm to take a unit of soup out of the freezer and into the fridge the night before, which is good bc my brain is fuckin fried by 1 PM.

the leek and potato soup i made last month did Not freeze well. it's like edible but the texture is...not ideal. the internet said lentil soups freeze well, and even though this recipe is from the nyt it looked reasonable enough with some modifications.

recipe here. shit i changed:

not quite tripled, bc i wanted to use up an entire bag of lentils at once.

did not add red pepper flakes to the soup itself as it cooked bc i'm bad at estimating how spicy i like things.

added cumin until my heart said to stop, deffo far more than a teaspoon. probably two tablespoons? the fun thing i previously knew about lentils is that they absorb a lot like A Lot of flavor so just like. keep fuckin going with ur lil shakers.

the lemon is really crucial here, it's perfectly fine on its own with just salt/pepper/cumin, but the lemon does a lot of work

added in the entire 6oz can of tomato paste, bc i never remember to use half-cans up and then they mold in the back of my fridge and i get cranky about it. also like. one tablespoon??? really??? get the fuck out of here.

added in many carrots bc i like a stew-like consistency and also had a lot of really sad carrots in my crisper

threw in like five stalks of celery bc i bought a clump or whatever a unit of celery is called for something else and wanted to use it up

most of a bag of small-medium onions and like 4oz of minced garlic bc that was what my heart said on sunday night when i made this

still nursing along some green onions on my countertop, bought nice bread specifically for dinner. i buy the spreadable carton of brie bc i hate peeling cheese and i like brie, and i think brie goes well with this soup.