#And Dean was defending him from the whole world

[zeppelinlvr]

"Better?" "Much"

Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Summary: waking up next to Dean and getting ready with him

Notes: I promise I'll give Sam some love after this, I love the idea that Dean acts like a dad when he gets up, hacking, coughing, groaning, the whole nine yards. I wanted to thank you guys again for all of the support, you're all so sweet! 💗💗

warnings: cursing, dean and reader playfully argue, kissing, lots of fluff, reader goes to the bathroom while dean is in there, but I promise its nothing gross or weird 😔

w.c: 1k

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The rising sun shone through a crack in the curtains of the motel room. You stirred awake, the light managing to hit you right in the eye. Dean lay next to you, softly snoring, drooling lightly and laying in a position that couldn't possibly be comfortable. You grimaced for him and the thought of how bad his neck was going to hurt when he woke up.

Sam was already awake, he still sat in his pajamas but he was sipping on a cup of coffee and had his computer open, researching as he typically did. He noticed you waking up and gave you a soft smile, not wanting to wake Dean.

You weren't exactly an early riser so you cuddled into Dean, burying your face into his side, trying to block out the light. You found yourself struggling to breathe and let out a sigh, knowing you weren't going to be able to fall back asleep.

Dean groaned as he awoke, grunting as his vision cleared and he noticed your face smushed into him.

“You trying to smell my pits or something?” he said with a small laugh, his voice slightly hoarse from having just woke up

“Love the pheromones” you replied sarcastically and brought your head up to look at him.

His hair was tousled and he had pushed half of the blanket off the bed in his sleep but he looked handsome as ever. Your hair was a mess, the shirt you slept in was twisted around your body, and your sleep shorts were riding up like crazy but Dean still thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world, simultaneously enjoying how your legs and ass looked when your shorts rode up.

Both of you were wild sleepers, flipping around in the night, blankets and pillows being pushed off the bed, Dean waking up in a panic when you would jerk in your sleep, and you hitting Dean with your pillow when his snores would grow too loud. The two of you would go to bed cuddling every night and wake up with your arm sprawled over his face and his legs on your side of the bed. Neither of you would have it any other way.

You moved yourself so your head rested on his chest, he brought his arm around you and placed a kiss to the top of your head.

“What's our next move Sammy?” Dean asked, “you found anything yet?”

“There's signs of vampires in Carterville Missouri, it’ll take us about five hours to get there though, so we should head out soon.”

“I can get us there in four, as long as grandma here doesn't have to pee every half hour” he said as he motioned towards you.

“I’m not the one who needs to stop for snacks constantly” you defended “and since you want to be Kevin Harvick with how fast you drive, you can make up the lost time from my bathroom breaks”

“Why do you guys just wake up arguing?” Sam asked

“We didnt, he kissed me then we started arguing” you defended with a sweet smile

“Yeah, come on Sam” Dean added

The two of you received an eye roll from Sam “go get ready, we can leave in an hour” he told both of you.

Dean sat up with a loud groan earning a response of “You sound like a father and you're not even one” from you.

“What are you talking about”

“All dads sound like they're dying when they get out of bed, all that loud groaning and back popping makes me think you need to go to the chiropractor.” you told him

“Alright sweetheart” he responded not even bothering to give in to what you were talking about, and gave you a kiss. You scrunched your nose after he pulled away.

“You need to brush your teeth” you giggled

“Same goes for you”

The two of you got out of bed and made your way to the bathroom, brushing your teeth at the same time. Dean was at it again with his noises, he was hacking and spitting like there was no tomorrow while he brushed his teeth.

“Jesus, you dont have to kill yourself with the toothbrush you know” You told him after you rinsed your mouth out.

“Teeth won’t be clean if I don't brush em like this” he told you, muffled by his mouth full of toothpaste.

“Okay Dean, I’m gonna pee while you finish up” you said and sat down on the toilet, Dean gave you a nod with his toothbrush still dangling out of his mouth. You scoffed and then laughed at him, unable to take him seriously with his extensive morning routine.

“You look so helpless when you pee” he said

“What are you talking about” you asked with a laugh

“You just sit there like you're waiting for a bus, it makes me feel bad” he explained “at least I can stand up and put my hand on the wall or something.”

You shook your head at his observation, laughing at how ridiculous it was.

The two of you finished up in the bathroom and made your way to your bags to get changed. Sam went to the bathroom to clean up, having already changed. You opted for a tee shirt, jeans, and a jacket you had stolen from Dean. Dean put on attire similar to yours, adding a few more layers than you had chosen to.

Dean made his way over to you and kissed you sweetly, his lips lips plush against yours. He brought one of his hands up to the side of your head, toying with your hair with his fingers. He placed his other hand on your waist, rubbing his thumb back and forth along your hip. You brought your hand under his shirt, lightly scratching along his back, earning a soft groan from him. You knew he was a sucker for you scratching his back, always asking you to when the two of you laid in bed, or after he'd had a long day. You smiled into the kiss at the noise he had made. Your moment with Dean, that was much needed by both of you, was cut short by Sam clearing his throat, your face heated upon hearing him and you quickly pulled away from Dean.

“My breath better?” Dean asked a grin playing at his face

“Much” you told him with a small smile, his minty taste still lingering on your lips.

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[scoobydoodean]

Made a similar post before but... I think people in their minds actually revise 2.03 Bloodlust to be this episode where Sam is on this "Monsters can be good" train before he ever gets kidnapped by Lenore and he then is burdened with the task of convincing poor stupid idiot Dean who isn't as open-minded and rational as he is to think for just one second and then at the end of the episode, pats him on the head and tells him not to feel guilty about it when he finally becomes enlightened like Sam has always been but that is not how that episode goes.

Sam's immediate reaction to the alleged existence of good vampires is not any different from Dean's. He immediately rejects the idea that the vampires aren't hurting anyone, and throughout his entire conversation with Lenore, refuses to believe her until she goes, "Fine. I'll let you go to prove it to you" which rocks his whole ass world.

Face of man having his whole worldview toppled sideways and having to figure out how to adapt:

So yeah after this Sam and Dean get into a 2 minute fight about it which turns into a completely different conversation because Sam decides for the third time in three episodes to try and pretend he's Dean's therapist then (badly) psychoanalyze him about how Gordon is a substitute for their dad and it (shocker) doesn't go well. But then Gordon steals the car and the moment Sam and Dean walk into the room where Gordon is torturing Lenore, Dean's feelings about the entire thing happening in front of him are "This is bad. This is very bad."

The SECOND he enters the room Dean picks a side, and it isn't Gordon's.

Just like Lenore "proved" her goodness to Sam by letting him go, she "proves" her goodness to Dean by resisting the temptation to consume Sam's blood... but Dean started defending Lenore and trying to get Gordon to back off the moment he entered the room.

Dean is also much more thoughtful about where this leaves him and Sam in terms of their past hunts while Sam doesn't consider the past at all?

Istg people rewrite this scene in their minds to be Sam approaching the whole thing from the perspective of someone who was already "enlightened"... but he wasn't. He was equally shocked by the revelation of good vampires possibly existing in this episode. He just doesn't bother to also consider the implications as far as any previous case they've ever been on. He doesn't feel any guilt about it he just lets it go with a shrug and Dean doesn't.

Add to this that in 1.12, Sam was the one with the hardline stance that they couldn't kill humans—ones who would get away with their crimes because they committed them by supernatural means—and that doing so would make them "just as bad" as the things they hunt. The only difference between a human using a reaper to murder people for clout, and a monster murdering people, is the physical characteristics of the monster versus the human. Dean sees a human using a reaper to murder people for clout and says, "they're a monster in my book". He argues they should take care of it because of the human's actions—otherwise there will be no repercussions for the human involved, while Sam draws a hard line that they can't kill a human simply because they're human and for no other reason. This is also crunchy in terms of how it might relate to Sam's eventual feelings about his inner nature making him evil, versus Dean's actions-based analysis.

Sam has a lot of compassion for Max in 1.14, but it's gone by 2.05 when his reaction to Andy is to immediately assume he's a murderer while Dean rightfully thinks there's something else possibly going on... and that's two episodes after 2.03 Bloodlust.

[pagannatural]

1.21 Salvation

-John finally, after some 22 years, lets his sons in on his plans and shows them everything he’s got on the demon that killed their mom and Jess.

-John is such a good character. I’m not really interested in liking or disliking him, I just love his part in this story. He reacted to an unimaginable situation in a human way. Who among us can say, really, how we would parent two small children if our wife was brutally murdered on the ceiling by a demon who then burned down our entire house? John truly thought the whole world was a war zone so he made his kids soldiers rather than getting them to safety. To understand John you have to understand that Safe and Normal as concepts were destroyed for him. He wanted to protect his boys so badly that he tried to prepare them and toughen them and train them but he also wanted to shield them so he hid as much as he could from them. He taught them that people were dying and they were responsible for stopping it. He put all of that on their way-too-young shoulders all while refusing to trust them or let them in.

Under all that pressure, Sam and Dean created their own world, their bubble of safety with each other. They give each what they need in the most vital and fundamental sense, nourishing each other in a hostile environment. They share something that no one else could ever understand.

So thanks, John.

-“It’s not your problem, it’s our problem” is an objectively kind and supportive thing to say so I’m proud of Dean for managing to shout it angrily at Sam. Such passion such energy

-Sam looks like a little kid this whole scene where Dean and John are arguing about parenting him. Dean stands up to John again and defends himself. He’s Sam’s daddy now (sorry)

-John tells Sam “I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home” which is hilarious to me because it implies that he thinks of Dean as a homeless man (which he is).

Dean glances at Sam when John says this and then hangs his head. Sam is his home. And he feels responsible for Sam leaving school (which he is).

-In the car Sam tells Dean “I want to thank you” but the you comes out as “ya”. This happens another time when Sam tells Dean “I still love you” (or something close to that) in s5e11. It’s unusual for Sam. He doesn’t ya his you’s regularly at the end of a sentence. Jared and Jensen both have typical midwestern accents on the show. Jared intentionally changes his speech pattern when he’s possessed, so that words like “wasn’t” or “doesn’t” are enunciated when normally Sam pronounces it like “wud’n” or “dud’n” with a very soft “d.”

Point being, something is causing Sam to shy off of saying these things and making them sound too serious so he says “I want to thank ya” which sounds more casual. When he’s lost in emotion (like later when he throws Dean against a wall and says “don’t you say that”), he enunciates his you’s. I think this is unintentional of Sam and intentional of Jared. Sam’s trying not to scare Dean off or sound too confessional- he’s seen how Dean reacts to that.

-Sam says “even when I couldn’t count on anyone”

Dean gave him consistency and safety and the knowledge that he was always loved. Dean’s his sanctuary.

-Dean says the house is “burning to the ground, it’s suicide”

“I don’t care” “I do”

Sam is reckless. He has a safe place to land, so he often acts without really thinking through the consequences, and Dean is always there for him. This is the THIRD house fire Dean has protected Sam from. Interesting that Sam asked Jessica, his Dean replacement, “what would I do without you?” in ep1 and she said “crash and burn.” Actually that’s what you would do without Dean :)

-Sam says killing the demon is “all we’ve ever cared about” he doesn’t realize that Dean has always cared more about him than about revenge or justice or whatever else. Dean would rather have Sam. Wild that Sam doesn’t know he’s Dean’s top priority yet. I wonder if he knew that pre-Stanford?

-Sam gets angry when Dean says they can’t bring Jessica or their mom back. It mirrors Dean slamming Sam against the wall in ep1 when he told Dean their mom is never coming back. Sam’s anger melts as soon as Dean speaks and he ends up just kind of grasping Dean’s shirt and pressing into him with this desperate look on his face. They look at each other’s mouths.

-Dean is accepting of Sam grabbing him and throwing him against a wall, just like Sam handles it in s2 when Dean punches him in the face. They have no normal way to express how intensely they feel about each other so it comes out as violence or care when one is injured. Love and need and pain are inextricable between them- they love each other in ways that are painful. So they just submit to each other like Yes, finally something that feels strong enough. It’s like it’s soothing to express and receive each other’s needs, even as pain. It has to come out somehow.

-Dean says that the three of them are all he has and “sometimes I feel like I’m barely holding it together” Dean doesn’t let himself fall apart, and he wants to fall apart with Sam here, begging Sam to be careful with his life, to understand that he needs Sam. He’s saying Please don’t get hurt, I need you, I’m falling apart.

Sam could kiss him right now. Dean’s not holding it together enough to try pushing Sam away or protecting him from their feelings.

-Dean says “without you and dad, I-” and I think that Dean obviously loves and cares about John but the real issue is that he couldn’t say “without you, I-” on network television because they would have just made out. The mention of their dad brings Sam back to himself. He turns away from Dean and lets go of him with what looks like some effort. Dean looks lost and he’s also still tilting his head up with his lips parted looking like Sam didn’t kiss him. Sam asks him to call John.

-This parallels when Dean told Sam to call Sarah in 1x19. Dean calls even though he’s still emotionally involved in the conversation with Sam and didn’t finish what he was saying. He’s just admitted something that was difficult for him, and Sam reacted by pulling away, distancing himself, exactly as Dean did when Sam admitted Jessica isn’t the main reason he’s not interested in anyone.

I’m a John-would-kill-Dean truther if he found out about anything untoward going on between his boys, so the mention of their Dad and the fact that he’s in danger would absolutely make Sam force himself away from Dean.

This specific dynamic of Sam pleading with Dean for something and Dean surrendering brokenly to Sam in a Please give it to me Please just take it loop where neither is willing to act makes me want to chew on my own ribcage.

[wrenwinchester]

I keep seeing stuff about Dean, and how he deserved better, or blamed himself for everything. And I have to keep myself from defending Sam because Dean isn’t the only one. (If you can’t tell I’m a very Dean-coded Samgirl, and I have to remind myself that most of the time the creators of the edit, or post know this and they’re just highlighting Dean’s experience. And I can appreciate that.) so this is my Sam appreciation/defense post because I have feelings.

Sam deserved everything and more, he wasn’t always the best brother, but neither was Dean, and the ways both brothers struggle are with things they superimpose on themselves because they don’t know how to handle their grief, or how to live without the other. Dean tries to fix it by taking his brother’s autonomy, Sam tries to respect Dean’s autonomy when he dies, or something happens, it’s why he didn’t just go call an ambulance like he wanted to in the finale (I know I usually say non-existent finale, but I’m making a point.) it’s why he didn’t look for Dean while he was in purgatory, he figured Dean was probably in heaven, and he couldn’t imagine a world where taking that away from him was good. (Also he was traumatized, and tired of losing people.)

He went through so much crap, and it’s so overlooked by the writers, directors, and a majority of the fandom. And as someone who was overlooked growing up (even now frankly, I mean my parents were doing steak dinners for our birthdays now since we’re all adults, and they did for both my brother’s previous birthdays and my birthday we did burgers and hotdogs with the whole family which was fine, but also still left me out. Anyway), because they hid what they were feeling and going through and hid it well, it’s so obvious to me when someone else is hurting and it just bothers me so much to see it ignored in the fandom. Claiming to be a Dean Stan and hating Sam is outrageous to me because Sam is someone Dean loves so much. How you can hate someone he loves just confuses me.

I see so much of myself in Sam, a tired, burnt out gifted kid who gave everything his all until it was taken away. Who had his hopes and dreams and interests shunned and criticized by the people who were supposed to encourage him, and when he finally got out of that situation, he got dragged back in. (I know it’s more complicated, but I’m focusing on specific aspects.)

Now you don’t have to like Sam, or even some or most of his choices, but to hate Sam in Dean’s name is wrong. Dean loved Sam more than anyone else (yes this includes Cas, it may have been different, but he still loved Sam more.)

Dean himself said it best, “that’s my job right. Look out for my pain in the ass little brother.” And “I had to look out for you. Thats my job.” And “that’s my job right. Show my little brother the ropes.”

No one loves Sam more than Dean, and the fact that someone could love Dean and hate Sam just doesn’t compute in my brain. And again I know that’s not usually what’s going through these creators’ minds, but it still irks me 😂

[post defending/appreciating dean]

[insomniacirl]

As someone who has just (as in literally like five minutes ago) finished the entirety of Supernatural for the first time ever and is currently completely emotionally wrecked and ruined-

I need to talk about The Love Confession in episode 18.

Because holy shit.

I mean holy shit.

You see the Destiel meme trending on Tumblr you think haha I can't wait to see this scene and cry over losing him and be upset over him saying his infamous 'I love you.'

But no.

No one readies you for the fact that if you DIDN'T watch the show as a Destiel fan.. you could not POSSIBLY escape this love confession scene either.

That shit swallows you whole like the Empty swallows Cas.

(FROM THE TRANSCRIPT, AND I QUOTE)

CASTIEL I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're "daddy's blunt instrument." And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. (he smiles, crying now) You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. (sad laugh as a tear rolls down his cheek) You changed me, Dean.

DEAN (quiet, resigned) Why does this sound like a goodbye?

CASTIEL Because it is.

Dean inhales, ready to argue, but Castiel confesses before he can.

CASTIEL I love you. (he smiles)

DEAN Don't do this, Cas.

"I know."

He knows Dean better than anyone else in the world. Sam knows his brother, but he can't see him the same way Cas can. He can't bring himself to.

Dean wants that agony. Needs anyone who loves him to see all of his fucked up, rotten self.

Castiel has seen his soul. Castiel saw him dark and bloodied in Hell and still, he raised him and marked his muddied soul with his pure touch.

"You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken."

He admits Dean's faults to him.

I see you for all of your darkness and I love you despite.

"And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not."

Dean's prayer to Cas in Purgatory.

Dean's greatest source of pain, the reason he hates himself so much.

'Daddy's blunt little instrument.' It's his father's anger. The anger that was taken out on children. On him and his little brother. The anger that he fought to protect his brother from all those years as they grew up.

"And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love."

Cas sees him.

Cas knows him.

Cas understands him.

Every time Dean defended Sam against Heaven, Hell, Lucifer and God and Death and every other being that wanted to hurt his little brother.

Every time he'd tell them 'No. That is not the boy I raised. I raised my little brother to help people. To love people. Not to destroy them. Never to destroy them.'

And every time Sam looked him in the eyes and proved him right, time and time again.

Fuck God, fuck Death- if they want his little brother? If they want the world he's lived to help? They'll have to go through him.

"That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know."

Cas looks at Dean and he sees the most caring man on Earth.

He sees all that sadness and all that fury, and all that grief and all that heartbreak- because Dean never stops caring. Not once. For every single person on Earth. In Heaven. In Hell. In Purgatory. Deserving or not, Dean will not stand by and feel nothing.

And Cas loves him for it.

Cas will die a happy man, just knowing he was loved by Dean Winchester.

Cas will die happy just knowing that he made Dean feel something, and that he has saved him. That he has changed him. He dies happy only after he makes Dean hear that he is loved. That all of it, everything he has ever done, has meant something to someone. To Cas.

And then...

"Why does this sound like a goodbye?"

Don't let this be a goodbye.

Why are you letting me go like this?

Why are you letting go?

If you feel all of that, why are you still leaving?

And finally;

"I love you."

[soullessjack]

okay but like. cogs turning .. last holiday truthing cwt maxxing… the sheer difference in dialogue between the script and the episode is killing me. the deliberate choices made to change said dialogue and even the ending…

like am I alone in thinking that this whole exchange in the dungeon was very oddly disjointed? very “nobody fucking talks like that” core. they just say shit but it doesn’t land with the other’s response.

and especially when you compare it to the draft:

for some reason or another, the writers deliberately cut out jack’s lamentation that he is still dangerous, that mrs butters is right to be doing what she’s doing, and that nothing has been the same between him and the Winchesters since he’s come back. they deliberately cut out dean saying “you’re one of us, and you have a chance to make it right.”

there’s also the glaring difference between how sam and dean defend jack in the episode vs the draft. in the draft, they say this:

D: “You said you didn’t want to destroy this family, but Jack is our family.”

S: “You hurt him, you hurt us.”

Mrs B: “No, he’s infected you. I have to keep you safe.”

D: “By trying to kill the people we care about?”

Mrs B: “No, he’s a monster!”

D: “Aren’t we all?”

•••

not only do sam and dean say that jack is their family and someone they care about, but they also explicitly hold themselves on the same monster totem mrs butters holds jack to (much like what dean said in tombstone, “we’ve all done things, so if you’re a monster then we are too,”

…which all then gets cut and turned into “He can save the world.” no, don’t kill jack, he’s our family and we care about him and he is good despite his mistakes -> no, don’t kill jack, he can save the world.

the explicit choice to center jack’s worth on his usefulness rather than his inherent value as the winchesters’ family and even just as a person, rlly speaks so much to the way he’s essentially narratively doomed to be dehumanized as a tool/weapon/device.

and the fact that this is all eventually preceded by Cas saying “you never needed absolution from sam or dean or me. we don’t care about you because you’re useful or because you fit into some grand design. we care about you because you’re you,” (which in turn is preceded by jack fitting into a grand design and fucking off to the raindrops forever), makes it seem either a painful inconsistency or some weird twisted inside joke between the writers (cough season 16 cough cough puke).

I haven’t posted about it a lot but I truly think there’s some vast trapped-in-the-narrative horror working around jack constantly being dehumanized both within the show as a living weapon and by the writers themselves as a plot device.

shits wack I guess

[saturnneedsspace]

My whole world was flipped upside down the other day when I found out there was a lot of Sam haters in the spn fandom. I simply do not understand.

Yeah, sure, Sam did some messed up things. But so did every other character in the show.

He got addicted to demon blood because of Ruby and this alien feeling that was cast upon him because of John. His own father thought he was a monster, so you gotta know that's gonna do something to your self esteem and cause you to go out of your way to be accepted.

He traps himself in Hell with Lucifer to save his brother and the rest of the world, knowing how much trauma that will cause him. And when he got out, he didn't have a soul, which all the fault lies with Cas on that one. And when he got his soul back, he wasn't the same. The sheer trauma he had from being roomies with Lucifer was more than enough to drive any normal person insane, and he still endured silently for a long time, before he went so crazy he was forced to be put in a mental hospital. He physically could not sleep because Lucifer was taunting him so much. And the only way he ever got better was because Cas took all that trauma into himself.

Yeah, maybe Sam didn't look for Dean when he was in Purgatory, and instead spent his time with a woman instead, but he had no clue where Dean was. The last time he saw his brother, he stabbed Dick, and then him and Cas disappeared into thin air. There was no clues whatsoever to where he was. And all Dean ever wanted was for Sam to have a normal life, so after he presumes Dean dead, he does what he thinks his brother would have wanted for him.

He's angry at Dean for Gadreel, and rightfully so. His brother took away his choice in the matter by tricking him into saying yes. He was ready to die. He told Death to make sure he can't be resurrected. He wanted to die. And yes, obviously as a brother, you don't want your younger siblings to die. That's a given. But he took away Sam's choice in that and forced him to be possessed, which is where most of his trauma comes from. He was possessed by several, terrible people at one point, and it was literal torture for him. He watched helplessly as his own hands murdered and hurt many people, some of them being his own friends and family. And then it just gets worse when Gadreel forces him to kill Kevin later on.

Sam searches the ends of the Earth for Demon!Dean and even when he's told several times to stop going after him, he doesn't listen. He knows he was mistaken when he didn't look for Dean in Purgatory, so he fights to make up for it by searching for him now. Dean tries to kill him, tells him to go away, leave him be, and Sam doesn't. He does everything he can to cure him. And he does with the help of Cas. He never gave up, even long after Dean already did.

And Sam releasing Amara wasn't all his fault. Charlie, Cas, and (reluctanlty) Rowena agreed to help, too. They're all just as guilty as him. And as much as I hate saying that about Charlie, considering it got her killed, it's true. They all helped remove the mark. They all released Amara. It wasn't their intention, but they all wanted to save Dean from himself and from hurting others. They all knew how much it hurt him to not have control over his anger. They were all just trying to help and were prepared to face the consequences of that, no matter what they were, because it was for Dean and they all loved him. (This is excluding Rowena at this point obvi)

Sam is the only one who cares for Jack after he's born. Yes, Cas would've defended that kid with his life if he were still alive, but he wasn't. Only Sam and Dean were. And the first thing Dean does when he sees Jack is shoots him. Sam talks to him. Sam understands him. Sam was him. He relates to the kid in a way no one else probably could, and so he fights his brother about it. He fights to protect the misunderstood kid who's defined by the blood that runs through his veins, though he desperately tries to prove it's not who he is. People only say Dean and Cas were Jack's fathers. But Sam was Jack's first father, the first person to see him for who he truly was.

And then he shot God, getting himself injured in the process and ultimately helping them take Him down. He was a vital character through the series and sacrificed so much. He didn't deserve all that happened to him, and frankly, it makes me mad when people hate on him.

[hawkeyetrained]

Hold on Kid

Dean Winchester x sister!reader

Warnings: angst, death, slight blood mention, heartbreak, let me know if I missed anything

Summary: I suck at these and if I tried, I’d probably wreck it. Hunt gone wrong is the best description I got.

Word Count: 3,999

AN: This is my first post here so be gentle. Enjoy

Life as a hunter was complicated. Naturally, you make enemies with the monsters who knew those you killed. Some wanted revenge, others hated that their kind was killed. Then, there was being a hunter and a Winchester at the same time. Not only do you make normal enemies like all the other hunters, but you make enemies simply because of your last name.

I was the baby of the Winchester family, being nearly six years younger than Sam and almost a decade younger than Dean. After the fire at their home, John took his boys on a journey across the country to hunt down the monster that killed his wife and left him and his boys without a home. He met my mom five years later and after nine months, I joined the family, only for my mother to vanish one night. John had taken me on the road with them after she disappeared, often leaving me with Bobby while he took my older brothers to hunt the simpler cases.

Despite the age difference and the fact that we were “half” siblings, my brothers were the best people in the entire world. Sam and Dean treated me no differently than how they treated each other. I was let in on jokes and taken to diners and bars with them once I was old enough to drive, often driving a drunk Dean and a tipsy Sam back to our motel for the night.

They taught me to hunt the right way. Started me off on simple cases with plenty of back up, making sure I did all the research necessary and never went anywhere alone until they were sure I was capable of taking care of nearly every monster in the book. I was comfortable fighting off nearly any monster, all but djinns.

Those creatures scared the hell out of me. I knew that Sam and Dean had faced enough of them in the past, but I was still fairly new around them and the cases involving them. The fact that they strung up their victims and essentially trapped them in their own minds was horrifying to me, and I’ve taken heads clean off vamp’s bodies.

So, when a case came up that practically screamed djinn, the boys double checked with me every hour, asking if I was ok and still good to attack once the sun went down.

“Guys, I’ll be fine. They just creep me out.” I tried calming my worried brothers. “I can manage it.”

“We never doubted you on handling it.” Sam defended gently, cleaning his gun at the table of our motel room. “We just want to make sure you’re comfortable. We don’t want anything happening to you.”

“I mean, come on kid, we just want you to be safe. I know how much these things freak you out.” Dean added to the conversation from his laid-back spot on his bed.

I sent both brothers a soft glare. “And I appreciate that. But I’ll be fine.”

_____

Flash forward to a few hours later, I was sprawled out on the top floor of the large, abandoned barn, metal rebar sticking out of my stomach and my brothers firing shots down on the floor below me. We had been wrong on our intel, it was more than just one djinn, a whole family of six popping out of the shadows when we burst in. One of the younger women had caught me by surprise, nearly stringing me up but ended with a magazine of rounds to the head.

“Dean.” I tried calling out for my oldest brother, attempting to drag myself closer to the stairs so he’d be able to hear me over the fight. “Sammy.”

Neither of my brothers were answering, my head leaning back to rest against the floor as I took in a few deep breaths. My hands shook as I placed them around the metal, making sure to not move it but add enough pressure to the surrounding skin to help stop the flow of blood. I had been taught that keeping the object in could potentially save your life, especially if it were holding an artery closed.

With neither of my big brothers answering my desperate pleas for help, I resulted in closing my eyes and praying to the angel who kept tabs on us. “Castiel.” I spoke his full name. “Dean and Sammy can’t hear me. I need help. I think I’m dying Cas.” Tears gathered in my eyes as I spoke to the angel who had become a best friend over the years. “Please, I’m so scared Cas.” No answer came from the angel, but he was busy with heavenly issues that us hunters would never know of.

After a few more strangled calls to my brothers, heavy boots finally began climbing the stairs. “Hey kid, did you manage to take them…” Dean’s voice cut off abruptly when my eyes met his. “Kid. Sammy!” Dean practically growled down the stairs, rushing the last few steps and coming to a stop beside me. “Hey, kid, you ok? What happened?”

“She didn’t like my jokes.” I tried lightening the mood as Dean pushed my hands away to take in the damage. “Everyone likes my jokes.” Dean set his blade down on the floor beside me, yanking both his jacket and his flannel off, quickly balling the shirt material and pressing it down around the metal.

A pained scream ripped through my throat at the pressure, white hot pain exploding in my stomach. “I know, kid, but we gotta keep the pressure. You’re doing great.” He turned over his shoulder. “Sammy!” His green eyes met mine then, the fear and anger flooding the bright colors that always brought me comfort. “You keep those eyes on me kid, you hear me? Keep lookin’ at me.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off him even if I wanted to. Sure, Sam and Dean were my brothers, but they practically raised me when John was out hunting. Sam was the overprotective big brother in every sense of the term. He walked me to and from classes, dropped me off for any projects that needed to be done and practically ran background checks on all of my friends at school.

Dean, he was protective but in a whole other way. While Sam took on that big brother role, Dean was basically the father I wanted. He made sure I got to do kid stuff, pulled me from school to play hooky, sat with me after bad dreams, played with me as a kid, and sat with me for my first heart break. He was the one that taught me to drive, to hunt, and to live however I wanted. I could get away with absolutely anything with Dean since all he ever wanted for me was to grow up happy and loved.

So, staring up into Dean’s eyes as blood soaked into my shirt and coated his hands, I knew I was going to be safe, no matter the outcome of this injury. Dean would take care of me until the day I stopped breathing, he had just hoped that it would be a long time after he had gone.

“Hold on kid, Sam’s coming. He’s got what we need. You just hold on.” His eyes were fogged over with tears, and he aggressively rubbed them into his shoulders to clear his vision. “Kid, talk to me. I gotta hear you talk.”

“I love you.” I managed to get out, though I wasn’t sure he heard much of it. My hands had stopped shaking and a coldness was seeping into my skin as I watched Dean’s eyes widen ever so slightly.

“No, kid you gotta say something else. OK? That can’t be all you got for me.” His left hand moved from the wound and gently brushed some hair back out of my face. “You gotta tell me this joke that the bitch on the floor didn’t laugh at. I’m sure it was your best.”

The world was becoming foggy the longer I stared into the green eyes that always brought me comfort. They mixed into the slight green tint the ceiling had from years of neglect and abuse from the weather. Dean, my big brother, who was always there for me when I needed, who would drive all day and all night just to get to me after a fight with John or Bobby about hunting. The brother who literally went through hell to save Sammy and negotiated with a witch for my life. The father I always needed and wanted in my life.

The pain in my stomach had gone numb and my hands had pretty much stopped moving all together as I watched Dean scream for Sam yet again. “Come on kid, just a little longer. You hold on a little longer kid, I got you. Dean’s got you kid.” That nickname was something he only ever used for me. It was his term of endearment to the little girl he raised. “Talk to me, please.” The last word was a heart shattering plead that helped focus my eyes for one final moment.

“I love you dad.” The line slipped from my lips half a second before my eyes got too heavy to keep open any longer and the world faded into back.

_____

Dean’s sure he never cried so hard in his life. He had lost so many people throughout his life that he was pretty used to hearing news of someones passing. But watching the color leave his baby sister’s skin, watch the light drain from her eyes, and listen to those Earth-shattering words fall from her lips as she bled out into his hands sealed it for him. He had just lost his world, his little sister that he had raised practically since she was born; he just lost his little girl.

Sam came clomping up the stairs as quick as his long legs could carry him, just not quick enough. He swore his heart stopped in his chest when he found his older brother crouched over his younger sister, blood coating the floors, and sobs racking Dean’s chest. Sam’s chest felt like someone sent a fist straight through his ribs, ripping his lungs out in the process. His knees hit the floor a few feet from where Dean was crouched over, eyes locked on his older brother’s back.

Dead’s head came to rest against his sisters, near silent pleas to wake up falling from his lips as tears dripped from his eyes. Prayers to Castiel or any angel listening following. The oldest Winchester had told himself that he would never beg for anything, never allow someone to have that kind of control over himself, but here he was, begging to the body of his little girl and to any angel listening to let her wake up, to let her live and take him instead.

The soft, unmistakable sound of fluttering wings caught both Winchester boy’s attention enough for them to turn. There stood Castiel, with his big brother Gabriel at his side, watching the young girl on the ground continue to bleed, though much slower now, through the shirt of her oldest brother.

“Cas.” Dean had locked eyes on his favorite angel. “Please, there’s gotta be something you can do.” Castiel swears he’s never heard Dean Winchester sound this broken before, never heard him plead this softly. “I can’t lose her. I can’t lose my kid.” Another wave of tears fought its way up through Dean’s chest, nearly choking him on the sobs coming from his body.

Gabriel was at a loss for words. Never had he been around the Winchester boys and not get a snappy comment or crude joke thrown his way, but here he was, looking down at two very broken Winchesters. Gabriel could sense the pain and worry coming from his brother, knowing that the younger angel couldn’t do anything for the Winchester girl. Cas had only barely begun to learn how to pull someone back when they were in the veil and looking down on themselves, not quite taken by the reapers yet. So, with the flutter of his wings, Gabriel went off to do the one thing he knew could help the two brothers.

_____

The pain in my chest was unbearable as I watched Dean cry, his hands not leaving my wound, his voice faintly pleading for me to come back to him.

“I tried to stay with you Dean. I’m so sorry I couldn’t.” My voice was barely even a whisper as I tried to hold in my tears. Sam was knelt down a few feet back from Dean, tears staining his cheeks and making his hair stick to his face. “I’m so sorry Sammy.”

Everything around me seemed to move in slow motion. Sounds muddled together and lights seemed to blur the picture before me, but that all too familiar sound of flapping wings would grab my attention any day. I turned away from my sobbing brothers to face the Archangel Gabriel himself.

“Gabe?” A crack snuck its way into my words. “Is that really you?”

“Hey there sweetness.” He winked, arms crossing over his chest. “I thought I told you to stay breathing last I left.”

I nodded, instantly running over to him. His arms opened enough for me to slot myself against his chest, tears leaking onto his shirt. His hands came to rest on me, one against my back and one in my hair, pulling me closer to his body. “What happens now?” I questioned the angel as I held tighter to his waist.

“Well, we can hang here and wait for the reaper to come take you up to heaven, or…” I cut him off before he could continue.

“Or you can take me?” I questioned; my eyes now turned to get what I thought would be the last glimpses of my brothers.

Gabriel pulled back, hands on my shoulders to get me to look at him. “Haven’t I told you to let me finish before you jump to conclusions?” I nodded against his chest and waited for him to continue. “Or I could take you back to your brothers. Let you live a little longer.”

Everything in me froze, not believing what he said to be true. “You can do that? Bring me back?” His honey-colored eyes were already looking down at me when I turned to face him. “I can go back to them?”

He simply nodded to me. “As long as you promise to keep breathing for me.” I was nodding almost instantly to his request.

“Please. Please take me back.”

_____

The whole building grew silent after Gabriel had been gone for well over an hour. Sam sat staring at the back of his brother, waiting for Dean to do something. Dean had gone still moments after the archangel vanished, hoping with all his will that a miracle would happen.

The oldest Winchester had resorted to cleaning up his little sister as best he could, pulling the metal from her body and throwing it far, far away. The bloodied shirt had been tossed out of the way as well, her shirt and jacket now covering the fatal wound on her stomach in a way to make it seem like she was just sleeping. Dean’s fingers trailed softly over her head, pushing hair from her face, and trying to memorize everything he could about the young girl before they gave her a proper hunters funeral.

Castiel had yet to move since his older brother vanished, staying still as if he were carved from stone as he watched over the two Winchester men. He listened to every sound coming near the building for a ten-mile radius, making sure nothing tried sneaking up on the two while their world crumbled around them. He had wished he heard your prayer earlier, gotten back down to Earth faster, maybe then you would still be alive and sitting with your brothers, rather than coated in blood and ghostly pale.

The flap of wings pulled Castiel and Sam from their states of grief, watching a small smile flicker across the archangel’s face. Sam had half a mind to scream at the angel before movement caught his eye.

The blood soaking the floor around the body of the youngest Winchester slowly started to vanish, seemingly seeping back into the wound on her stomach. Then color began to return to her skin, slowly transforming it from a deathly grey back to her natural pigments.

It took a moment longer for Dean to notice the changes, having been so absorbed in caring for the body of his little girl. Once his eyes noticed the changes, his hands backed up from her, almost like she caught on fire. Both Winchester brothers scrambled to their feet, backing away from the girl who was laying so still seconds before.

With one last beat of silence, the wound on her stomach closed fully and her chest heaved with a huge breath of air.

_____

The world came back dramatically. All of a sudden, I could hear the soft drops of water from the ceiling again, feel the coldness of the hard floor below me and smell the horrible damp concrete of the walls to my right. Then my eyes fluttered open, and I could see the ugly ceiling that was decaying from years of abandonment again.

My brain raced as I tried to remember what happened. The hunt, a djinn, the metal rebar, Gabriel pulled me back. I died and Gabriel brought me back. Sam and Dean, they watched me bleed out on the floor of a hunt, watched me die on a hunt they knew I was already nervous for. Dean, he had been with me, he held my hand as the pain vanished and the world fell into silence. He had been with me as I died.

My lungs pulled in one of the deepest breaths I’ve ever taken, causing me to turn and cough loudly as I took the chance to breath more air in. My brain raced as it figured out how to work again, after moments of rest and complete silence it was working to catch back up on what was going on, and the only thing it seemed to think of was…

“Dad.” The word fell from my mouth before I could even process what was going on. Then suddenly I was being hauled up to my knees and crushed into the tightest hug ever given. Everything about the person was familiar, the way the arms wrapped themselves protectively around my shoulders, hand placed to the back of my head. The soft fabric of the green jacket wrapped around shoulders, and the scent of the hunt along with something so specifically Dean. I was wrapped in the arms of my oldest brother, wrapped up and secured in his embrace, protected from anything the world could throw at us.

His chest heaved with sobs, mumbles of my name and ‘kid’ falling from his lips. “I got you; I got you kid. I’m here. You’re ok.” The words fell from his lips in a jumbled mess, falling together in a mess of letters.

“Dean.” My words came out quietly as I hugged him back with everything I had in me. I clutched onto him as my own tears fell, coating my cheeks and making stains on his shirt as I pressed my face to his chest.  Feet scrambled on the floor beside us and before I knew it, Sam was crushing me and Dean in the tightest hug he could manage. “Sammy.” I adjusted one arm to be able to hold onto both my brothers, all three of us a crying mess.

It took the three of us nearly a half hour to calm down enough to stand and face the angels. Sam had stepped a few inches away, wiping his cheeks with the backs of his hands as he turned to speak to Gabriel. “I don’t even know what to say.” His words were barely strung together as he glanced back at me.

While Sam had stepped a few inches back, Dean had yet to let me go. His arm had yet to fall from my shoulders and I was pretty sure he wouldn’t let me go for the next few hours, though I wasn’t going to complain. I had turned into Dean’s side, keeping my arms around his waist and my head leaned into his shoulder, tears still damp on my cheeks.

“Thank you, Gabriel.” I looked at the angel who pulled me back. “I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am.” Dean’s arm tightened around my shoulders, pulling me just a bit closer to his side.

“She’s right.” Dean’s voice was deeper than usual after all the crying over the last hours. “Thank you.” Sam agreed with his brother, going over to hug Gabriel tightly.

Cas stepped a bit closer, his hand coming to rest on my cheek. “I’m glad you’re alright. The area around is clear, you’ll be safe heading back to the bunker. We will keep watch over your drive.” And suddenly, the two angels were gone with a soft flap of wings.

“Sammy, can you get the car started and give us a sec?” Dean asked his little brother, holding tighter to me if possible. Sam gave a soft nod, pressed a kiss to my head and went down to wait in the car.

Once he was gone, Dean turned sharply to me. “I’m so glad you’re ok, kid. You can’t ever do that to me again.”

Dean’s hands rested gently on my cheeks, thumbs wiping away the drying tears from my skin. “I never wanted to leave you. I tried so hard to stay with you Dean. I really did.” New tears dripped from my eyes as I looked up at my oldest brother.

“I know you did, kid. I know.” I was pulled back into his chest, his hands rubbing into my back as I cried into his shirt again. “I got you now. I’ll never let that happen again, ok? I won’t ever let anyone put their hands on my little girl again.” My fingers twisted into the back of his shirt as he soothed me, helping me calm down and relax again. “So, can I ask about the dad comment?”

A soft laugh blew through my nose. “Yeah, you can.” I pulled back to look up into the green eyes that always brought me comfort. “John was never really there for me. You know?” He nodded softly at me. “I mean, you took me to my first day of school, you taught me to drive, you were the one who was always there for me.” My voice trailed off towards the end as I watched his face slowly stiffen into an emotion I couldn’t read. “Sorry, I’ve just always seen you that way, I guess it just slipped out today.”

“Kid, I’m not mad, or anything like that.” He gently brushed a few fingers through my hair. “I’ve always seen you as my little girl. I know I was there more than dad was. I know he barely had anything to do with you. There’s nothing I want more than to be your dad, even if you just call me Dean, that doesn’t matter.” He took a deep breath. “I want to be the one you call when you need help or come to when you’re scared. I know you’re not exactly a kid anymore, but just know that I’ll always be there for you. You’re my kid.”

I didn’t even answer, just lunging forward and wrapping him back in a tight hug. “I love you, dad.”

His hands held my head to his chest tightly, a kiss being pressed down into my hair as we held onto each other. “I love you too, kid. Don’t you ever forget that.”

@thetallassgirl

[writingoncloudydays]

Accidental praying

Summary: Dean has been having very explicit dreams of his best friend. Little does he know that each time he says his name, Castiel hears him. He hears every single sound Dean makes. Castiel enjoys listening to Dean; his voice makes his body shudder with each moan he hears. However, Castiel has a cracking point that ends up involving some brownies.

Warnings: Smut-sih, wet dream, fluff, making out, goes from being smutty to cute fluffy making out.

1.40k words

Life in the bunker has been more complex to adjust to than Sam and Dean thought. Not having a home for so long, only staying at shitty hotels and sleeping in baby, which was more of a struggle for Sam. With his lanky frame that clashed with the confined spaces of their temporary lodgings. He would grumble about his discomfort. The cramped seats and lack of legroom only added to his frustration, prompting Dead to fiercely defend his beloved Impala. To him, his car was more than just a transposition; it symbolised constancy in their otherwise chaotic world. 

Yet, despite the challenges, the allure of a place to call their own beckoned to them. The bunker offered sanctuary from the constant threat of danger lurking outside. They no longer had to worry about enemies breaking in or monsters lurking in the shadows. Here, they could finally relax, surrounded by familiar walls and the comforts of home.

For Sam and Dean, the prospect of real beds with clean sheets was a luxury they had long forgotten. Separate rooms meant privacy, a rarity in their line of work, where every moment was spent in each other's company. And separate bathrooms? That was practically unheard of, a small indulgence they never knew they craved until now.

As they settled into their new surroundings, Sam and Dean realised that perhaps, amidst the chaos of their lives, there was still room for a semblance of normalcy. The bunker wasn't just a shelter; it was a refuge, a place where they could finally breathe easily and be themselves. And as they embraced this newfound sense of stability, they knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, they would face them together in the safety of their own home.

However, they would still get Castiel randomly appearing and spooking them, leading to awkward situations. For instance, when Sam walked out of his shower with only a towel, Cass startled him, which caused him to drop the towel. Sam couldn’t look him in the eye for two weeks, and his face would heat up in embarrassment. Dean found the whole situation hilarious until he had his own encounter with the angel. 

It was a typical morning. Dean did not have anything on for that day. He slept in, letting his dreams surround him. Lately, a particular angel has made a star appearance in a not-so-friendly way. The dreams are in all sorts of places around the bunker, his room, the table in the library, against most of the walls, and Dean favoured the kitchen. The kitchen always felt like his second home, cooking for Sam, drinking after a long hunt, and talking with Castiel. However, lately, he has been unable to enter the room without getting hot flashes of all the different ways Castiel had his way with him.

Dean woke from another one of dreams, the sheet sticking to his body, his breath heavy, his chest rising and falling fast. Panting, he lets out a groan, his cock staining against his boxers, a stain of pre cum can be seen forming. Dean kicks the sheet off to ease his discomfort, letting the cool air flow over his body. The air does little to nothing to cool his body temperature, only making his nipples peak and adding to his Harding cock.

His eyes are heavy with sleep groaning from the familiar feeling of his cock straining against his boxers. Rubbing his face, letting his mind wander to how Castiel's hands and mouth felt on him, grabbing and manhandling as he pleased.

“Fuck Cass.” He groaned and ran his hands down his face.

“Yes, Dean?” His voice mixed with the sound of his wings fluttering.

"FUCK Cass!" Dean's voice now panicked, jumping to cover his hard-on with the blanket. "What are you doing here?" He asked, trying to calm down, though the thought of being caught by Castiel moaning his name had Deam squirming under his gaze.

“You called me. Are you hurt?” Castiel said, doing his adorable head tile when he was confused as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Dean blushed like a schoolboy around his crush.

"Your breathing is all rushed, and you're quite red in the face and sweating. Are you sick?" Castiel starts making his way over to Dean before he shouts.

"Wait, it's fine, Cass, just leave," Dean stated quickly while bringing his knees to rest against his chest to hide his hard cock from Castiel's gaze. At Dean's request, Castiel stops moving towards him, his eyes roaming his body, slowly taking in Dean's beautiful sight. From his flushed face, making his freckles more noticeable. He would sit, hold his face, and count them if Dean let him. His broad shoulders were slightly shaky, his breathing was heavy, and sweat beads were running down his stomach following the outline of Dean's abs. The sight makes Castile groan, the growing urge to sit on his knees in between Dean's legs and lick up his chest, run his hands over his pecs, and kiss him till he is no longer breathing. He doesn't act on his thoughts, only nodding, heading to the door and closing it behind him.

Dean cusses and jumps out of his bed to head to the shower to deal with his problem and his plan to try and avoid Cass Castiel for the rest of the day. Which didn’t end up being too hard as the angel seemed to have disappeared to who knows where, not that Dean cared.

Whenever Dean is upset, he ends up in the same place as always, in the kitchen, with a beer and brownie mix on the table. Baking has become one of Dean's favourite time escapes—no stress, just something fun to do. Dean places all the ingredients in the bowl and mixes them, slowly folding them together before pouring them into the oven tray. Perfect.

Dean must wait until they are done cooking or when he gets too impatient and eats them raw. Being too distracted with the baking, he didn't notice the familiar sound of wings fluttering into the kitchen. He needs to start paying more attention to carefully placing the tray in the oven. Greeting Castiel with a perfect view of his ass, his gaze darkens, watching Dean's hips sway a little. Closing the oven and setting the timer for 15 minutes before standing up straight and taking a swing of his beer.

Dean's heart raced as he processed the whirlwind of sensations Cass's close proximity induced. "Ah, Jesus, Cass, you gave me a heart attack," he blurted out, trying to regain composure.

Cass, unfazed, responded, "You show no sign of having a heart attack, and what does Jesus have to do with it?"

Dean chuckled nervously, attempting to brush it off. "It's a metaphor, Cass, don't worry," he said, realizing how close Cass was and feeling his face flush with heat.

Dean struggled to focus as Cass leaned in closer, trapping Dean with his muscular arms. Cass's disregard for personal space was both exhilarating and disorienting. "Um, need anything else, Cass?" Dean stumbled over his words, excited as Cass smirked and locked eyes with him.

Cass's gaze lingered on Dean's lips, sending shivers down Dean's spine. "No, I'm not trying to kill you," Cass replied cryptically, his hands moving closer to Dean's body.

Caught off guard, Dean's mind raced as he tried to process Cass's intentions. "I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to," Dean stuttered nervously, feeling Cass's hands gently resting on his hips.

But Cass's reassurance and comforting touch melted Dean's nervousness away. "You have nothing to be nervous about, Dean," Cass murmured, his lips tantalizingly close to Dean's.

Dean felt emboldened by Cass's words, drawn to Cass's lips, his heart pounding with anticipation. Dean surrendered to the moment's intensity as their lips met passionately, wrapping his arms around Cass's neck.

Their kiss deepened as Cass's hands roamed over Dean's body, igniting a fiery desire within him. Lost in the heat of the moment, Dean gasped for breath as Cass's lips trailed down his neck, leaving a trail of fiery kisses in their wake.

But Sam and Dean's sudden entrance abruptly interrupted their passionate embrace, causing Dean to crash back into reality. Flustered and embarrassed, Dean quickly tried to deflect attention from their intimate moment, only to be teased mercilessly by the Winchester brothers. Dean couldn't shake the lingering sensation of Cass's touch as the chaos unfolded around them, his mind already wandering.

[silent-stories]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐇𝐔𝐈𝐙𝐎𝐓𝐋 - 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟒

Summary: When Y/N needs help on a hunt, she doesn't expect Bobby to send Dean Winchester to her. Now the two must work together to solve the case and Dean has to deal with Y/N's sarcastic and biting personality, that maybe he likes a little too much.

Pairing: Dean × F!Reader

Warnings: nightmares, a bit of angst and fluff, swearing

Word count: 2274

Series

They found Bobby eating a sandwich and Sam idly leafing through a book when they opened the door of the house.

"Hey Sam. Have you grown up since I last saw you?" Y/N asked wryly as Dean closed the door behind them.

Sam rolled his eyes but smiled at her, he knew it was her way of saying she missed him.

During the trip Y/N had well thought of calling Bobby to warn him and, after several complaints and protests, she'd ended the call with the belief that she had bribed him with some jokes and her usual tone that she used when she wanted something.

Sitting around the kitchen table, Dean and Y/N gave a quick summary of the whole case, talking over each other like ten-year-olds.

Each time Sam ran his hand free from the cast over his face, already tired of their behavior but also a little amused.

“If you maybe gave them the tissue with the blood instead of bragging so much about saving my ass, you'd be a lot more professional, idiot!” She exclaimed.

"I would have when you shut your mouth!"

"Stop it and tell me more about that creature!" Bobby snapped and the bickering stopped.

“We brought this one for a reason." Y/N said pointing to Michael.

"I am a person, I have a name!" He exclaimed, tired of being treated like a package.

But Bobby gave him a nod of his head that meant it would be better for him to stay quiet: going against Y/N could be very dangerous sometimes.

"We, on the other hand, will rest for a few hours before setting off again for Toledo." She added glancing at Dean.

He knew immediately that her look visibly insisted on following her upstairs.

"What?"

“Dean, you need to sleep!” she scolded, looking for support in Sam and Bobby's eyes. "He hasn't slept in like two days!"

The two men gave him a sort of reproachful look.

Dean snorted, got up from his chair and turned to Michael, pointing a finger at him. «If you run away you're dead, remember that» he told him before going upstairs followed by Y/N.

Dean walked into the room he usually occupied whenever he stayed there and flung himself on the bed like a sack of potatoes, bouncing on impact with the springs. Eyes closed and that feeling of peace that came only when he slept in a real house and not in a cheap motel.

"And you didn't want to rest!" Y/N teased him, entering the room after him.

"Shut up," he said lazily, his face pressed into the pillow.

“Can you breathe, or are you going to grow some gills out to keep your face against that pillow?” Yes, she found it a little wrong to insult him when he didn't have the strength to defend himself but she just couldn't help it. She quickly realized that when Dean wasn't fighting back it wasn't all that funny.

"I'll come back to wake you up in a few hours, so fall asleep quickly." She said finally, before heading for the door.

But then she retraced her steps, reaching the bed again. She grabbed the blanket crumpled at the bottom of it and unfolded it to spread over Dean's body.

He didn't move, his back rose and fell at a regular pace and she hoped he was already asleep or he would tease her forever for such a sweet gesture.

It had been a good four hours, it was almost evening and Y/N was going to the room where she had left Dean to wake him up. The others had suggested doing it about an hour before but she had found all the excuses in the world to postpone that moment, maybe because she didn't want to disturb his sleep.

As she walked down the hallway thinking about whether to enter the room with a "good morning princess" or "good morning sunshine" she heard a kind of muffled noise coming from the other side of the door.

Y/N slowly turned the handle, entering the dark room due to the window with the shutter down which did not let in the slightest thread of light.

"Dean?" she asked without raising her voice too much.

All she heard was a grunt, but not because Dean heard her come in and that was his response, but because he was having a nightmare.

His body twisted on the bed as his hand gripped the sheet in a tight fist.

Y/N thought that even that morning when she had woken up Dean at the motel after she had seen him tossing and turning and muttering words she couldn't understand he had also had a nightmare but he hadn't mentioned it again and she had done the same.

"Hey." She said reaching the bed and placing a hand on Dean's shoulder, shaking him slightly.

Dean suddenly opened his eyes and grabbed the girl's wrist in a quick movement, sitting up.

"Dean." She tried to say it in a calm voice, but he just stared at her as he breathed fast and kept squeezing her wrist a little too tight. She would probably get a bruise after that.

"Dean, it's me. It's okay. You're fine. You had a nightmare." She whispered in a calm, reassuring tone that she wasn't used to using often.

He was gripping her arm so tightly that Y/N feared she would hear a loud "crack" and end up with her arm in a cast like Sam.

"Dean, you're hurting me. Please."

Sure, she could have punched him in the face and he probably would have finally let her go but she didn't feel like doing it a moment like that.

"Oh God" Dean muttered as he finally let her arm go "God, I-I'm so sorry."

Y/N thanked the darkness of the room making it impossible to see her wrist, but she knew there was already a red mark.

"It's okay, really. Don't worry."

She said at that bewildered and vulnerable version of Dean.

"Y/N" He mumbled "Y/N I'm sorry."

"Dean, stop it, I told you it's okay and-"

"It's not okay. I hurt you."

"Hey" she said as she cupped Dean's face with her hands causing a slightly surprised look from him "I'm fine, you're fine and what you had was just a nightmare. That's the important thing."

She slowly ran her thumb over his cheek. "It's okay, Dean."

Dean stared at her in silence, his face just a few inches from hers, and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her, instead when he got even closer to her, he buried his face in the crook of her neck and hugged her back with his arms.

Y/N brought her hand to his hair, running her fingers through his brown locks and Dean just let out a sigh against her skin as if the gesture brought him relief or eased some kind of pain.

Her other hand was slowly drawing imaginary circles on Dean's back and after a few minutes his tense muscles relaxed.

"Hey" she said "do you want to talk about it?"

He stayed silent for an indefinite amount of time and when Y/N thought that meant he didn't want to talk about it, Dean's hoarse voice reached her ear and his lips tickled her neck as he talked.

"Usually I don't really understand what's happening, I only see flames and lots of smoke. Sometimes creatures. I'm in that house, in what was once my house, and my father tells me to take the others out, that I have to save them but I can't find anyone.

And I'm only four years old.

I only hear their voices screaming and begging for help. Voices of people I love. This time yours was there too." Dean murmured in a broken voice without taking his face off the girl's neck so without looking at her. And that was good because she certainly wouldn't want him to see her teary eyes shine in the dark.

"It's okay." That was all she could say as she ran her hand through Dean's hair again.

"Can we stay like this a little longer?" Dean asked and he really sounded like a scared kid.

The logical answer would have been a resounding no, they still had a case to solve.

"Yes. Yes, of course we can."

“So that this is angry about the dam?”

It was the first thing Y/N and Dean heard when they came back in the living room .

"You really are a perceptive man!" Bobby muttered at Michael before shifting his gaze to the two.

"It took you a long time!" he exclaimed.

Dean glanced at Y/N. Did he really think she was going to say anything about what just happened?

“Dean is a heavy sleeper, he didn't want to wake up. So what made me ask for help?” Y/N asked approaching Sam who was holding an open book on his lap.

"Its name is Ahuizotl," he explained.

"I think at this point I'll keep calling it Dogotter" The girl replied, throwing a knowing look at Dean who held back a smile.

"It's a legendary creature of the Aztec culture an—" Sam tried to continue before being interrupted.

"How do I kill it?" She asked.

"The light stuns them and slows them down, which will make you gain some time."

"Time for?" Impatience, her middle name.

"Cut off his head and tail," he turned the book upside down to let them see the image better.

"And what do we do after that?"

"If I were you, I'd grill it up, just to be safe." Bobby intervened.

“Great, now we just need to get back there and… well, give him what he deserves.” Dean said.

“Do you really think that thing is going to come out just to get itself killed?” Sam asked sceptically.

"What do you mean?"  Y/N asked.

"That creature lives in the lake and knows you're hunting it, just as it knows you've secured its meal," Sam explained patiently. “So going there and waiting for it to come to you is a stupid move, unless…"

Silence. Dean, Y/N, Bobby and Sam shifted their gaze to Michael, who, at first, looked at them without understanding what was going on. His eyes widened soon after as he sensed the nature of their stares.

"No," he said categorically. "Forget it, I'm not going be your fucking bait!"

"It's the only way we can kill him" Dean began, nodding with conviction at his own words "Sam's right. It won't show up until it gets what it wants."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?!" the man snapped, seized by a sudden panic attack.

"Calm down," the hunter hushed him quickly “everything's gonna be fine, okay? We will be there, ready to attack. Trust us."

"Trust you?!" Michael asked in panic, eyebrows raised in disbelief. He burst into a hysterical laugh and then went serious again. "Trust you?! You gotta be kidding me! You talk to your car!" he added, shouting at him that little detail as if it were the salient point for which it was better not to trust him. "You are crazy. All of you."

"Okay, then you can start saying goodbye to your family," Sam replied.

“My…my family? Why?"

"Well, it's obvious. If you don't do the bait, the monster won't be killed and so you won't be able to go back to your city again because as soon as you decide to do so, that thing will eat you alive."

"Listen." Y/N said slowly approaching the man, almost like a lion to its prey.

"Do you want to know what will happen to you if you don't do what you've just been told?" She said it in an unnervingly rhetorical tone, an almost sadistic grin on her face. "I'll throw you into the lake. I'll wait for the monster to surface to get you and then I'll drag it out to tear it apart. And believe me, you won't be still alive to enjoy the scene when I roast it." Her seriousness was almost chilling, the soft tone she had used with Dean was completely gone.

“Now I'm gonna get ready to leave. It's late." she concluded before going up the stairs and leaving the room.

Bobby laughted out loud "I love that girl!" he said before disappearing into the kitchen while Sam went to arrange the books he'd been using on their shelves, leaving Dean and Michael alone.

"Come on, get your stuff, man, we have to go." Dean said turning to the other man, giving him a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"W-wait" he muttered "do you really think she would do such a thing?"

Dean let out a short laugh. "She loves to threaten people and has a really temper sometimes but she's not a bad person. She likes to help others and she really cares about her family, she would give her life for someone she loves even if she would never admit it. And she's always there when you need it."

"Mh, are you sure?" Michael asked reluctantly.

"I am. She doesn't show her... softer side often but she has one, she just hides it. And I'm sure she would never throw you in the lake."

"Okay, I'm ready" announced Y/N interrupting the two as she went down the stairs again. Dean glanced at her to see if she'd heard anything he'd just said but he couldn't tell from her expression.

Dean and Y/N grabbed their bags and said goodbye to Bobby and Sam, who told them to be careful.

Finally the three left the house.

Tags: @eevvvaa @spn730015 @supernatural111222 @youcancallmelily @clairenovakanddeanwinchester @dads-on-a-hunting-trip @3amstillawake @supernaturalmess @marvelandsupernatural @agirlwatchingalotoftvshows @candy-coated-misery0731 @impalaslytherin @rudy-the-winged-wolf @dean-winchester-6767 @samanddeansannoyingsis @roseblue373 @waynes-multiverse @random-spn-fan @xoxokiaraaxoxo

Series: @stitchintimefan @foxxymunson @sagexcandles @deans-spinster-witch

[kittenofdoomage]

Nothing Left To Say

Summary: You let it lie too long, and now it’s time to move on. It’s escaping unnoticed that’s the problem.

Prompt: Endverse!Dean, at the camp, busted

Pairing: Endverse!Dean x female!reader

Word Count: 2190

Warnings: angst from the outset, smut, breakups, cheating, no HAEs here

Ao3 Link

It hadn’t been as hard as you thought it would be. Once you’d made the decision, you had made sure your responsibilities were passed on to someone else, and ensured that everyone would be alright without you. After that, it was simply a case of packing your things, which didn’t take long when your whole life fit into one duffel bag.

“Guess I won’t have to worry about carrying too much,” you mumbled, pulling the zip closed over the light bulge of your only sweater. Hoisting the bag onto your shoulder, you slipped out of the cabin’s bedroom, heading for the door through the kitchen.

He was waiting for you, half-bathed in shadows, the dim light of the only lamp giving the whole room a feeling right out of a horror novel. You skidded to a stop a few meters away from him, watching as he lifted his head, your hasty escape busted before you’d had a chance.

His eyes flicked from your face to the bag dangling at your side, one eyebrow arching. “Where are you going?” he asked, his voice calm but strained.

Holding your chin up, you swallowed the nerves down, dragging the strap further up into a more secure position. “Something I should have done a long time ago.”

There was no reaction on his face; no anger, no amusement, nothing. It unsettled you. But you hadn’t been sure what to expect from Dean for years now. He’d changed, become harder, colder, when he lost Sam. You both knew it. You just didn’t talk about it.

“You’ll die out there,” he said, his casual manner chilling you to the bone. Did he even care if you did?

You shrugged. “Better than dying here.”

A flinch. The tiniest of movements, but you knew you’d gotten to him and it gave you a tiny thrill of satisfaction. Just a taste of the pain he’d caused you.

He moved, and you jumped at the sudden step. The reaction made him freeze, and then you saw something else - hurt - cross his features. “I wouldn’t hurt you,” he accused, voice softer now, filled with pain.

You could feel tears in your eyes. “You already did,” you whispered brokenly, sniffing to try and stop the anguish in your throat. “I knew, Dean. I knew the whole time. About Risa, Jane, Marie… I knew and you lied to me. Told me it was another recon meeting. Weapons training. And just because it’s the end of the world doesn’t mean I don’t have a choice.”

Dean didn’t say a word, not even to defend himself. There wasn’t much point in denying it now.

“I kept thinking I could make it better,” you sighed. “But you’re never gonna change. Since…” You sucked in a breath, unable to say the words you were thinking. Since you lost Sam. “Since Detroit.” Meeting his gaze, you kept control of your composure, fisting your hands at your sides. “I don’t think you’re capable of love anymore.”

His jaw clenched. You didn’t want to see how his rage came out, and you didn’t want to drag it out any longer.

“Take care of yourself,” you mumbled.

“Can’t we talk about this?” he asked suddenly, the coldness evaporating. Your shoulders dropped, and you gave him a pitiful look.

“There’s nothing left to say,” you replied gently.

The only thing left was walking out the door. You just had to make it past him.

Every step was shaky and the closer you got, the more you saw the anguish on his face, but he didn’t move, watching you with glassy eyes. As you moved past, his hand shot out, grasping the top of your arm in a firm but not painful grip. “Please,” he whispered, turning his head to let you see the pain in his eyes. “They meant nothing to me.”

You inhaled sharply, searching his face for the truth. “Do you love me, Dean?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “If I said I did, would you stay?”

“Just asking that,” you forced out through gritted teeth, “means that if you did, you wouldn’t mean it. So no.”

“I can’t let you leave,” he murmured softly.

“Let me go,” you demanded, pulling at his hold, scowling when he didn’t release you. “Dean!” 

Your bag hit the floor as you tried to escape, only he was stronger. In an attempt to free yourself, you twisted, but he anticipated it, shoving you hard until your back hit the wall, sending an empty picture frame clattering to the floor. In the next second, you found yourself caged in by Dean’s arms and your heart pounded in your chest as he stared at you.

He hadn’t been this close in weeks. The smell of him was intoxicating, and you remembered better times, when he’d touch you like you were the only woman in the world for him. 

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and you released an involuntary moan, pressing your hands against his chest. The moan was followed by the tiniest whisper of his name, and he struck without hesitation, crushing his mouth against yours, forcing you harder against the wall. You responded in kind, fisting the material of his shirt, gasping as he ground into you.

It was probably a stupid idea but you ignored the sensible side of your brain, too desperate to be touched to think about it. You knew you should have stopped it at the first kiss, then the second, or when his fingers curled up underneath your shirt, popping buttons as he went, except you didn’t stop there, undressing him as quickly as he was undressing you.

Your shirt and his ended up tangled on the floor, and he pulled you from the door, making it as far as the table before his hands were tugging at your pants. You kissed over and over, breaking apart only to remove clothing, and your impatience had his pants around his ankles and his cock in your hand while your jeans dangled from one leg. There didn’t seem to be a place for any words, and when Dean sank two fingers into your wet heat, you cried out, desperately trying to stroke him as he fucked the thick digits into you.

Grunting his name, you rocked against him, ass scraping against the wooden tabletop. He panted into your mouth, working you into a frenzy, pulling back just to watch your face twist into a mask of pleasure. “Cum for me,” he murmured, mouthing at your jaw.

You were almost blind from the bliss in your veins; your hand dropped as your concentration lapsed but he didn’t stop. He kept you grounded with slow strokes as you fell over the edge,  and when you began to settle back into your bones, you felt him, hard, nudging at your entrance.

His eyes locked on yours as he sank into you, and you swallowed down a cry at the penetration, clinging to his shoulders. One of his hands slipped down to cup your ass, the other steadying you as the shoulder as he sank deep and held himself there. It struck you with sorrow when you looked into his eyes, realizing how much you’d missed this, but knowing that you needed more.

He kissed you again, starting to rock into you. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself the indulgence of his touch, of being connected to him, enjoying the warm buzz lingering in your head from your first orgasm, already feeling the beginnings of a second. Dean had always known just how to make you quiver, but it was soured by the knowledge that you weren’t the only one.

Pushing those thoughts away, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, tangling your fingers in the unruly short hairs at the back of his head. He groaned against your lips, both hands on your ass now, slamming into you with enough force to make the table shake. Your noises were muffled until you needed to breathe, inhaling hard and exhaling with a drawn out moan as you started to cum again.

When you were almost through, he withdrew, manhandling you onto your stomach across the table, barely sparing a second before he was sinking into your warmth again. At this angle, his strokes drove you onto tiptoes, and you scrambled for purchase as your brain short-circuited with pleasure. Dean growled, hands on your hips, driving into you harder and harder until you were screaming his name.

Finally, he choked out a single “fuck” and thrust deep. Warmth spread out from where his cock kissed your cervix, trickling down until it was dripping onto your thighs. You went slack, cheek against the table, listening as Dean grunted and pulled away, expecting him to dismiss you.

His hand slipped around your wrist, tugging you up. You stumbled, falling right into his arms, and another kiss. “Come to bed,” he whispered, nuzzling your cheek.

You hesitated, glancing at your bag. One bout of great sex didn’t fix the problems between you but when you looked into his eyes, he looked so earnest, and so like the Dean you loved.

“Okay,” you murmured, offering him a weak smile.

He smiled back, and you knew you’d be gone by morning.

He was on his back, snoring lightly, one arm underneath your pillow, the other draped across his chest. Like this, with his features relaxed, you could see the young hunter you’d fallen in love with, the one who had smiled. The only man you’d ever loved.

It felt like an appropriate way to say goodbye. He didn’t need to be awake.

Dressing quickly, you found your bag where it had been abandoned, quietly hoisting it onto your shoulder as you went for the door, glancing back nervously in case Dean had woken up. Satisfied you could sneak away without his notice, you slipped out of the door, closing it carefully so it didn’t slam.

On the horizon, the sun’s first rays were beginning to turn the night sky pink. You stepped down carefully from the cabin, wary of the squeaky step at the bottom, then headed down the path. At this hour, you shouldn’t have expected anyone but the sentries to be awake, but naturally, you encountered another obstacle to your freedom, laying in the grass with nothing on his feet and a lit joint in his hand.

“You’re leaving.”

Castiel’s statement was slurred, and you briefly wondered what he was high on tonight. “Yeah,” you replied. “Are you going to stop me?”

He chuckled, rolling his head toward you. “The stars put on quite a show tonight,” he grinned, holding out the joint. “You sure I can’t persuade you to watch with me?”

You smiled fondly at the former angel. “Take care of him, Cas.”

He regarded you for a second, pushing up into a seated position. “There’s nothing out there, you know.”

“Turns out there’s nothing here either,” you sighed. “I’ll be okay.”

With no further argument, you turned your back on Cas and headed for the gates. The sentries didn’t stop you, so you hurried out of the camp and onto the road, heading south. In truth, you hadn’t decided where you were going to go yet, but you had family in California, and there was always the hope someone else had survived.

It grew lonely quickly in the next few days. You took to humming songs, forcing yourself to remember lyrics to take your mind off of how tired or hungry you were. Sleeping was a tricky prospect, requiring a good hiding place if you wanted true rest, and you had to scout any potential safe areas as you went. Though you didn’t encounter many Croats, you remained alert, keeping your machete close in an effort to conserve your limited ammo.

A week after you had left, a storm rolled in. You found sanctuary in a gas station, lucking out on a full stockroom that hadn’t been plundered. As the thunder and lightning raged outside, you ate Twinkies and snatched a brief few hours of calm in the lockable room.

It was dark when a sound disturbed you from outside. You woke and sat up, machete already in your hand as you listened for whatever was making the noise, assuming that at worst it was a Croat, at best, a raccoon. Getting to your feet, you crept to the door, unlocking it as silently as possible before peeking out.

There was nothing you could see. The wind blew an empty chip packet across the floor, and the moonlight shimmered on the shelving as the storm clouds moved on. You gripped your weapon, stepping out with a hope that your raccoon theory was correct.

And then he stepped out. Dressed in a crisp white suit, eyes glowing a subtle red as he smiled. He breathed your name like a prayer, a smile on his face that didn’t seem to fit right. You felt the cold wrap around you like a ghostly embrace. Dean’s voice echoed in your head.

You’ll die out there.

Lucifer’s smile didn’t waiver. “I was hoping I’d run into you.”

Please consider reblogging with a comment or gif or keyboard smash 😁 thank you for reading!

[shallowseeker]

What is the most well-acted scene of SPN, in your opinion?

I think for a genre show, there are a lot of surprisingly hard-hitting moments. But today, I'm gonna say this:

CROWLEY: I'd like...to ask you a-a favor, Sam. Earlier, when you were confessing back there...what did you say? I only ask because, given my history...it raises the question... Where do I start...to even look for forgiveness? I mean...

///

Discussion:

I think Mark's voice, and his whole everything in this scene was among the hardest-hitting of Supernatural. It was so incredibly well-done.

Crowley has been brutal this season. He killed Kevin's girlfriend and tortured Kevin, and yet here he is, asking for forgiveness in a Church, a symbol of penance and forgiveness. As he spirals down from the high of the "roofied disinhibition" of "being a demon," he starts to feel everything again, and he despairs.

It's a callback to the demon Father Thompson cured, the one who ate his own children. It's a callback to Sam's hopped-up stent on demon blood.

In SPN Prime, John thought he was doing the right thing by his neglect and absence and violence, to toughen up his children and prepare them to defend themselves in a world that wants to kill them. And in doing so, John let his family down, and he died before they could fix it. Sam grieving John is not just about grieving the man lost, it's about Sam grieving the loss of potential for healing and repair.

If John Winchester could have lived and reckoned with his crimes of absence and neglect and cruelty, could he have done the same? Asked for forgiveness? Sam will never know. Sam would've forgiven him. There's nothing he wants to put in front of his family either, when you get down to it.

And Sam feels this guilt in himself, too, in his powering up on demon blood in order to do the righteous thing and protect the world. (We'll see in season 15 that this power would've corrupted him, eventually killing those very things he longed to protect.)

Also, there's the guilt for what he perceives as his run to escapism purely for the sake of escaping, serving up an incomplete version of himself in order to fit into an idealized normal (Amelia is to Sam as Kate was to John Winchester, perhaps). In doing so, he let his family down when they needed him the most. (He abandoned Kevin, Dean, Cas because he couldn't face the pain of fighting alone, like how John had to fight alone, and like how Mary has to fight alone in the AU Earth-world. Having siblings is like having built-in allies, and because of that, Sam's never had to fight alone.)

Sam, too, will ask for forgiveness in this church, the symbol of forgiveness. Sam still has living family members to connect to and heal with, and in this scene at least, family is about forgiveness. Dean will be compared to Church by Jody, and it's linking this idea that there are things in your life you can rely on, no matter what. Church is supposed to be a "communal family of forgiveness, not judgment" after all. (Example: Jody turns to Church when she's alone.)

Siblings can be a built-in church in the same way that they are built-in comrades. But Sam was not there for his only kin, and he despairs over not being a reliable brother, lamenting that Dean has turned to his “new brothers” over him. Dean capitulates to Sam's mental state here in this scene, affirming his sense of worth and that he'll always be there no matter what. Critically, this is to preserve Sam's life, because Sam is not in his right mind; he's suicidal.

(Eventually, Crowley too will try to repair things with his son Gavin, and he'll also reckon with Rowena's abandonment.)

The nifty thing about this scene, I think, is that while the Church is the symbol of familial forgiveness and penance, the actual institution of Heaven is brutal and unforgiving and judging. Outside, the angels are falling. The idea of it is more powerful than the reality of it. Heaven would not let Cas do penance.

[arwenadreamer]

But really, have you ever thought about what it means that Sam Winchester got a son?

If anyone knows how much evil there is in the world, it's Sam. (And Dean.) From his childhood on he got to experience that Evil first hand. Any hope he had for a good life despite all that evil in the world quickly got crushed, trampled on and burned. (The latter literally.) His whole life Sam had to fight the Evil in the world. There were times when he felt like he was downing in it. Now matter how many monsters he and his brother killed, there were always more. No matter how many Big Bads they stopped, the next one was always right around the corner.

And then they did the unthinkable. They defeated god himself. But not just that. Chuck would just have been another name on their endless list of evil they fought against. No, Sam and Dean (but mostly Sam tbh) did more. They raised a little nephilim to become a good, loving god. And they softened the heart of an old, powerful witch enough to become the best ruler of hell one could wish for. They changed the foundations of heaven, hell and earth fundamentally. Sure, there was still evil in the world. But suddenly there was also hope. And more. The certainty that there was a heaven waiting for good people. The knowledge that people's faith was in their own hands.

And wasn't that just the biggest balm to Sam Winchester's abused soul?

It was this certainty that let him even consider to bring a child into this world. After a life of fear and fighting evil, he felt that it was OK. That his son would have a future, and a good one. That his sons soul would be in good hands. Sure, he taught him what he needed to know to defend himself against evil. Sam was not stupid. Evil was not extinct. DJ needed to learn. But he didn't need to drown in it like Sam had, like his brother had. He could live a good, free, autonomous life.

The fact that Sam Winchester got a child shows how much he and his brother had done for this world.

[burtonbabygirlguster]

a collection of funny things that should have been in Supernatural because i said so;

At least three episodes of all the hunters that have the whole system with Sam at the bunker but it’s like a police show comedy [i’ve only seen like three total episodes of Brooklyn 99 and four seasons of Psych but i think it’d be great]

Dean gets to follow his dream (like what Michael trapped him in) and take after Ellen and the roadhouse, whether it be by using that giant ass bunker as a bar or he just buys one, or even builds one [with magic or his hands]

Hunter doctors- like official, legal doctors. basically so that way if anything possibly supernatural is going on- you can see a doctor who knows about that type of stuff and can hopefully help it [like a witches curse, or how Bobby Dean and Sam had the carvings on their ribs] and they don’t make you pay if your a hunter for obvious hunters-don’t-get-payed-reasons

and obviously garth and some other people starts a whole monster healing underground medical aid/er (also probably at the bunker or smth)

a section of the bunker turns into this child-teen room where anybody under like 20 goes and can stay permanently. so like if a parent was killed on a hunt, they show up and are taken care of, they can learn more stuff, practice, and maybe have a shot at a semi-normal, at least no hunting, life [Jody and Donna help out there a lot]

there’s also adult rooms, obviously, same gig

game night at the Dean-Cave, lots of tournaments and anger

movie nights [for any hunter that wants to come] with a huge projector screen that they bring out to the main area with the stairs and whatnot, they’ll move tables, build a whole ass fort and watch shit

jack defeats god but instead of him disappearing it’s a complex jack-sorta-splits-in-two thing where his current conscious still runs things as ‘god’ but the ‘other half’ is essentially him but physically and mentally a four year old (like completely- not what Jack had before as a mix of 4 years old and 20 years old, just pure 4 year old) and it’s pure chaos

dean tries to redo everything with Jack (because he was a dick majority of the time) and obviously Cas and Sam were alrwady Dad Material TM

Dean, Sam, Castiel, Jody, Donna, Eileen, Charlie [both worlds because she didn’t die in my mind] Kevin [also not dead] and some others will hold classes for different things

Dean: Cooking (and lots of fighting) Occasionally does cool ‘home-made’ things, like his EMF that was made out of a Walkman, stuff like that. Teaches Latin and the different warding stuff

Sam: Healthy balance in life- both mentally and food wise. Also teaches lore and how to defend yourself, but mainly tries to get people to know how to lead a normal life, to enjoy things. Also teachers Latin [and backwards exorcisms if you need the demon]

Castiel: Lots of fighting techniques, but he also does a lot of history [not hunter-history, just like. normal history, but parts that have never been recorded since he’s seen a looooot] Teaches about free will and choosing your own path- not one that you were raised into or something of the sort [like hunting] he’s one of those teachers who get way off topic and he starts talking about Dean and everything [the ‘students’ place bets on when he’ll confess]

Jody & Donna + The Kids: [Jody & Donna] Teach how to stay out of trouble, fighting methods, but mainly how to lead a good, death-less life and be happy. they also teach you about police-loopholes and such so if they do stick with hunting they don’t get thrown in jail and such. Teaches healing and first aid. [The Kids] teach, again, fighting techniques, tracking stuff, running away from stuff, lots of medical stuff, Patience and Kaia teach others how to control their ability’s [with Gabriel]

Eileen: Teaches ASL and teaches how to use your other senses if you couldn’t use one [or technically how to sorta focus and zone in on the other senses] Also lots of lore and fighting techniques.

Charlie: Teacher how to hack into ‘un-hackable’ things, create fake credit or debit cards, fake IDs, etc. She holds role play and games like DnD all the time

Kevin: Teaches confidence and such, how to not let people take advantage of you [cough cough Dean was not so nice to him whilst translating] How to stand up for yourself and not be a doormat. Also teaches school stuff if anybody was interested

Rowena: Witchcraft, obviously. She does a lot of the warding stuff than the others because she knows a lot more about everything. Occasionally teaches how to seduce your way into information (or magic

Gabriel: How to trick people and such into getting them to do what you want them to. Probably some tips on going underground/undercover. If a kid has powers he helps them entirely

[isthisimportant]

Frustration

Pairing: Dean X Castiel

A/N: Rewatched season 5. Felt things. Wrote this.

*~*~*~*

Dean grunted against Cass' lips. He shifted his weight so he was somehow on top of the desk they were making out so heavily against. Bobby and Sam were asleep but they were right in the next room. "Cass," he mumbled in between kisses, "maybe you wanna zap us someplace else?" Castiel merely grunted in response and tugged on Dean's shirt.

"Stop talking, Dean. I need to concentrate."

"Oh, yo-" Dean's sarcastic comment was cut off by the other snagging his bottom lip with their own.

They were just talking. Just talking. Something about the world ending. Not having any way to stop Michael and Lucifer's showdown. Dean being ready to accept Michael. But Cass wasn't having any of that. He was mad. He was frustrated. After all of the things he had done. He had risked. He had sacrificed. Dean was ready to throw it all away just because some old man in a wheelchair told him he was dead inside. And that he couldn't win. Why was Dean Winchester taking the words of that old man more seriously than the promise and sacrifice Castiel was offering him?

He had slammed Dean against the wall, threatening him with assault if he even thought about calling Michael. "I can read your mind, Dean. I hope you know that." He warned him.

Dean had smirked in response. "There's no hiding anything from you is there, big guy?" It was an empty flirt. He hadn't meant anything by it.

But Castiel took it seriously. "No. There isn't. Not even your darkest desires escape me, Dean." He walked towards the other menacingly, eyes that were usually bright blue, now grey, owing to the lack of light; fixated on Dean's forever green ones. "I see through you, Dean. I see through all of your masks and layers. I see inside you." He was merely inches away from Dean, having backed him into the desk.

Dean gulped, visibly a little uncomfortable. "Yeah okay, Sherlock, back off." He tried to make it sound threatening. But it came out too soft and needy. His eyes flitted to Cass' lips. Only for a second.

"Don't think I didn't catch that. I've noticed the way you look at me, Dean. I told you. I can read minds."

"What's that supposed to mean-" Dean was cut off by Castiel pressing his lips rather forcefully to Dean's. He slammed his hands on the desk behind them for support. Dean was trapped and he had no way of defending himself, except, to fight back.

And fight he did. At first, he was confused. Scared. Unsure. Cass was kissing him. A guy. But he, liked it? It felt good. Better, even, than most kisses he's had. He's never felt such strength in a kiss before. It only made him want to reciprocate. So, he mustered up all his force and thrust it into this.

They had been kissing for almost forever. It was like a new addiction. The first time you try something that you just couldn't let go of. Dean was addicted to Cass' lips. He didn't care how chapped they got. It was like he was tasting something he'd been denied his whole life. It was fast and alluring. He never wanted to stop. He never wanted Cass to remove his hands  that had grabbed his waist. He never wanted to stop tousling Cass' hair with his.

It was dark and private and intimate. Just the two of them. There was no one else in the world, let alone in that room. He was enveloped in Cass' being. Every sense of his was suffocated. He was thirsty and this was better than drink. Cass' tongue on his quenched a deep thirst and hunger he'd had for a long time. Almost eternity.

The lights came on with a clearing off a throat. Dean's eyes pried open and his pupils dilated, despite the sudden brightness in the atmosphere. He could sense his brother's eyes boring into the side of his skull.

"Dean", Sam's voice came, uncertain. Castiel pulled apart abruptly but still held his face as close to Dean's as possible. He wasn't done. But neither was Dean.

"Uh... Bobby's got something. If you two wanna..." Dean could feel Sam's uneasiness.

"Yeah, just... give us a minute, Sam." Dean whispered, his voice coarse and low. Sam nodded and left, not before closing the door.

"Cass, we should..", Dean began, only to be cut off, yet again, by Castiel kissing him.

"You frustrate me so, Dean Winchester."

[saltbind]

Which SPN character's crimes are you the #1 defender of to the end of time?

oh man. hm. i have thoughts about this.

like, supernatural is in and of itself a story about these real human beings and people stuck in a narrative they want no part of. living trapped by an illusion of free will that is as ephemeral as most of the spirits they face. they don’t even really start to be able to consistently make their own decisions til after chuck’s defeat. so can they even really be considered liable for their actions prior to that given their whole lives are a playset for an alcoholic deadbeat dad? from that viewpoint pretty much all the characters are equally defendable.

and if you’re going with Classic SPN only, then all those choices are understandable in the context of their incredibly fucked up lives - even if there were better choices to be made. some of them were bad choices - my kingdom for some communication - but they were understandable. i get the characters points of view even if i want to slap em upside the head.

but in terms of like ‘baby did nothing wrong’ i don’t really go in for that so much. i love sam but he fucks up a lot and that’s part of why i love him. i love dean too - but he ALSO fucks up a lot. and that makes them interesting, it makes them human, it makes their commitment to each other and to the world at large more relatable. part of why i love samdean so much is that endless capacity for forgiveness they have for each other.

i’m a character defender as long as their actions are in character basically. there’s no one character i’d do it for - if it makes sense i’m down to defend it. but a lot of SPN characters make choices that aren’t in line with who they are and that i won’t defend because its shitty writing. still, not the characters fault.

like, a lot of what people have an issue with in terms of character specific choices on the show are things that make No Sense for the character. but it’s treated like that’s a choice the character had agency over. they’re fictional.

sam not looking for dean in s8? that was a writers fuckup.

the whole gadreel/mark of cain thing? could have been a good plot if it had been handled with more care. more upsetting because it’s almost in character - but not quite.

so yeah i guess i’m an every character defender. except john but we all know i have personal trauma reasons for that.