#And I ended up just reading a few chapters all at once 'cause I was having a good time with it! Oops reading lol

[sysig]

Did you expect Rescuing Rusty in 2023??? (RR is @zeejax‘s ♥) (Patreon)

Trick question! Even I wasn’t expecting Rescuing Rusty, but since it was up next on my fics to vet for construction, I had to give it a reread!

Didn’t it turn out lovely 💕 There’s not a lot of sky-related imagery in RR, but I couldn’t not go with this colour - it’s an even richer rust colour IRL :D

The spine ended up being big enough that I was able to sneak in two bookmarks! One for Zoom (the black) and one for Rusty (the red)

Even though they sit separately, Rusty’s still crosses over Zoom’s hehe ♥

[andvys]

Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.

Chapter eight ⭐︎ Say my name and everything just stops

Warnings: 18+, minors don't interact! jealousy, angst, low self-esteem (kinda?), mentions of the upside down. weed and alcohol consumption. I will not spoiler anything here, so read with caution

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: You blindly began to follow your feelings, hanging onto a hope that died just as quickly as it came.

Word count: 10k+

Author's note: @hellfire--cult and I came up with this whole idea and we kept talking about this moment for weeks and now its finally here, I hope you guys are gonna enjoy it as much as we did hehe

Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter ⭐︎ Next Chapter

♡

The spring wind blows through the open windows in your room, touching your skin and slightly lifting the ends of your new dress. The smell of vanilla and the floral scent of your perfume lingers in the air. You’re leaning closer to your mirror as you apply your favorite gloss to your lips. 

A tingling, exciting feeling bubbles in your stomach, your heart jumping every few seconds or so at the thought of seeing him today. 

Steve’s reactions were everything you were hoping for when you teased him at the diner and in his car, yesterday. His blushing cheeks and the wide, darkened eyes filled you with victory after you had placed a kiss upon his flushed skin. You are still not sure what had caused you the sudden rush of courage, but you’re glad that it hit you because the way he looked at you, the way he reacted, the way his breath hitched in his throat finally gave you the last push to do what you had always wanted to do. Today, you’re finally going to give in to your feelings. 

The nervous, insecure part of you is telling you that there is still a big chance that he might reject you, that you will ruin this thing between you both by making the final move. 

And usually that weak part of your mind would win, it would fill you with enough humiliating images to pull back, to make you rethink your decision, to keep you hiding in the shadows, the way you always did. 

But you’re no longer letting it win. 

You will do this, even if you might lose your dignity. 

Placing the lip gloss back on your vanity, you reach for your favorite necklace, and put it on. You touch up your hair one last time, fixing your bangs before you take a step back, eying the red and white sundress, the little bows on the straps, the dainty flowers on the material, the shortness of it that exposes enough of your skin to drive him crazy… you hope. 

‘Just make your move, babe. Do you really think King Steve would reject you?’

Your smile falls a little when Billy’s voice echoes in your mind. 

Every memory of your best friend brings a hurtful pang to your heart. 

He was the only one who knew about your feelings for Steve and surprisingly he kept encouraging you to ask him out, to make your move. 

Would he be proud of you now? 

Or would he still make fun of you for liking someone like Steve? 

You step away from the mirror and walk over to the window, closing it before you leave your room and make your way downstairs. Eddie isn’t picking you up for once, even though he called you three times already, asking if he should come pick you up and if you’re truly feeling good enough to drive yourself again – you are. The headaches are gone, the dizziness is gone too. All that is left are the nightmares and the sudden rushes of anxiety but you are okay, you feel okay. 

You walk over to the dresser in your hallway, reaching inside the key bowl to retrieve your car keys when something else catches your eye. The one single key, lying in there, you reach for it, furrowing your brows as you trace your finger along the metal, letting it fall in your palm. 

You still remember the day when Max had showed up at your house, asking for you to take Billy’s car before Neil would destroy it in a moment of rage. 

‘He’d want you to have it anyway.’ She said as she handed you the keys. 

You remember how you broke down crying the moment you got into the driver's seat. You missed your best friend and it felt so wrong to sit in the place that once belonged to him. 

You got the windshield fixed and anything else that needed to be repaired, before you parked it in your garage, planning to never open the gate again and just leave the car there until Max would ask for it back. And, you did leave it there, for a few weeks at least. 

Your car broke down on a hot Friday afternoon and the mechanic at the local shop told you that it would take a few weeks to get it fixed. You walked and used the bus for a few days, and then the rain and the storms crashed upon Hawkins, giving you no choice but to take the blue Camaro.

Max even joked about it, she told you that it was Billy who caused your car to break down and who somehow let it rain and storm over the town so you would finally take his beloved car out for a ride because it’s just too pretty to be hidden and locked away in a dark, cold garage.

You’d sometimes drive around at night, when the streets were empty and no one was around. 

When you visited your sister in Indianapolis, you took his car. 

But now it’s been a while, the last time you sat behind that steering wheel was right before the apocalypse almost hit the town. 

A sigh falls from your lips as you stare at the key. 

“Not today,” you murmur as you place it back where it laid before and reach for your keys. 

The drive to Eddie’s new place isn’t a long one, he only lives a few streets away from you now, it would only be a ten minute walk but you desperately waited for the moment when you could finally drive again, and you didn’t want to pass up on the opportunity today. 

You missed this, sitting behind the steering wheel, instead of the passenger seat, longing to be the one in control. You missed picking the music yourself – not that Eddie’s music taste is a bad one, you just need a mix of everything, not just rock and heavy metal, sometimes you just need a girly pop song – not that you would ever admit it to him. 

When you arrive at your destination and you pull up to Eddie’s driveway, you notice that Steve’s car isn’t there yet. Only Jonathan’s car is parked next to Eddie’s Impala. 

Steve is never late, yesterday being the first time that he was the last one to arrive, so he is either still waiting for Robin or… running late is his new thing. 

“There she is!” Eddie chuckles as opens the front door at the same time as you get out of your car, “and she’s here in one piece!” 

A laugh tumbles from your lips as you close the door and lock your car before you make your way over to him, eying the new shirt he’s wearing – which is just another band tee that you have never heard of before. His curly hair up in a bun and a can of beer in his hand.

“I’m a good driver, what are you talking about, Eds?”

He furrows his brows, lips curling into an amused smile, “are you?” 

You walk up the steps to his porch, greeting him with an eye roll, “you know what, next time I’ll pick you up.”

He smirks, using his index finger to point at your car. 

“What, with your baby Mustang over there?” 

You squint your eyes at him, “nope, I’ll take the hidden gem in my garage.” 

“Wait what… What hidden gem?” 

“You’ll find out,” you wink at him, trying to brush past him when he stops you, placing his hand on your arm, he pulls you back softly. 

“Wait.”

You raise your brows at him, “yes?” 

He’s got the twinkle in his eyes, the one he always has when he’s happy about something. His lip twitches, pale cheeks slowly changing color, he’s barely able to contain his excitement as he bounces on his feet.

“Guess who scored a date?” 

Your eyes widen, lips parting as you remember the pretty waitress from the diner. 

Eddie is blushing, lips now curling into a full smile. 

“Oh my god, really?” You ask as a grin appears on your face. 

“Yeah! I’m gonna take her out tomorrow night, I can’t fucking wait, sweets.” He says with a dreamy look in his eyes. “She was so sweet a-and fuck… she’s gorgeous, don’t know how she said yes to me.” 

You frown at him, reaching your hand out to pinch his cheek, “you’re a handsome, sweet boy, Edward, now shush. You’re gonna knock her off her feet. Any girl would be lucky to have you.” 

His eyes soften, he rubs the back of his neck before his fingers trace the scar on the side – you know that it’s now an insecurity of his, just like it is one of yours. Scars litter your skin from where a bat had left a gnarly wound on the back of your shoulder, from where Jason had hurt you, from where he had left reminders for you that he was the one who did this to you. 

But your scars aren’t nearly half as bad as all the ones on his skin. 

“I’ve never been on a date before,” he murmurs, eyes flashing with doubt. 

“So? It’s gonna be even more special then,” you shrug.

“I just don’t wanna mess it up.” 

“You won’t,” you smile at him, “you’ve got that special charm, one that makes others like you right away, you’re funny and you’re sweet, now stop doubting yourself or I’ll kick your ass and hunt down every asshole who ever made you feel otherwise.” 

He chuckles at your words, though his eyes are still soft as he looks at you. He doesn’t doubt you, he knows that you would actually hunt down every name on the list of people who hurt him. 

“Got it?” 

“Got it.”

“Good,” you say, sternly.

“Good,” he nods. 

You stare at each other for a moment before you both burst into giggles. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and he pulls you inside his house, narrowing his eyes as he takes in your dress.

“Who’d you dress up for, sweets?” He asks, “there’s no hot guys here.” 

“Well, aren’t you humble?” 

“No hot guys besides me, of course,” he corrects himself after clearing his throat, smirking at you. 

You only shake your head in response. 

You pass by the kitchen and the big shelf that was specifically customized for Wayne’s mug collection. Vinyls are on the walls in the long hallway that leads to the living room where you hear the chatter of your friends and the faint music that sounds through the house. 

The smell of weed already lingering in the air. 

The sound of Nancy’s giggle, followed by a voice you hadn’t heard in a while makes you furrow your brows.

“Argyle is back?” 

Your surprised voice along with the wide eyes you look at him with make him chuckle. He knew you weren’t paying attention when he told you about it days back. You were too distracted by whatever daydream you were stuck in as he let both you and Steve know that Argyle was coming back to spend the summer in Hawkins before going off to college in September – something that Eddie definitely won’t be doing, he won’t be going to college, he won’t be going anywhere, at least not now, not yet, maybe not ever, even though it’s all he ever wanted. 

He walked the stupid stage, he snatched his diploma and he finally flipped Higgins the bird, despite the glares, despite the whispers of the people who still blamed him for what had happened weeks back but it doesn’t matter, he tells himself. It doesn’t matter what they say or think because he got people who believed him, people who care about him, people who were willing to fight for him, people who are worth staying for. 

“Yeah, he’s here the whole summer.” 

“Ooh, means we’re gonna get high a lot, cool,” you giggle. 

“Like we don’t do that all that time,” Eddie rolls his eyes, though a smile tugs at his lips as he pushes towards the living room, your feet carrying you closer and closer to your friends. 

Despite Steve not being here yet, you already feel the rush of excitement mixed with the nervousness of what you plan on doing, flushing through your veins. 

Your eyes first fall on Jonathan and Nancy who are standing by the door that leads out into Eddie’s backyard, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, a smile tugging at her lips when she sees you. 

“Hi!” She waves at you, a friendly look on her face. 

“Hey,” you smile at her before you look over at her boyfriend, greeting him as well. You then turn your head to your right, your smile widening when your eyes meet Argyle’s already very dazed ones.

He stands up from his seat on the couch, his hair falling in front of his face a little, he opens his arms, revealing his Bob Marley shirt to you. 

“Well look at what the cat dragged in,” he jokes as he steps towards you, “come here, chica.” 

You chuckle, leaving Eddie’s side to greet Argyle, who instantly pulls you into a tight hug. The smell of weed enveloping you, right away.

“I didn’t know you’d be back so soon!” 

“So soon?” He slurs, patting your head when you pull back again, chuckling when you swat his hand away. “You didn’t miss me?” He jokes as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, just the way Eddie did before, he pulls something out of his pocket, handing it to you, “here, got you a little gift from California.” 

Your eyes lighten up in amusement, a smile tugging at your lips as you look at the blunt he’s holding, you take it, holding it up as you look up at him with a grin, “why thanks.” 

“You gotta share that one with me,” Jonathan grins at you, lazily. 

“You’ve had enough already,” Nancy rolls her eyes, though not without a smile on her lips. She pats his chest, “come on, let’s go outside.” 

“Yeah, you guys go ahead, I’m gonna grab some more drinks,” Eddie says before he leaves the living room. 

You all step out into the backyard, walking over to the little fire pit where the flames are already glowing, surrounded by the comfortable seats. The sound of water flowing from the stream filling the air with a fresh scent, the smell of flowers and the trees giving you a sense of peace. 

Eddie’s backyard is comforting and nice, despite being close to the forest, it’s making you feel safe. He wouldn’t have this now if he hadn’t been dragged into a world of darkness – unlike you, he didn’t grow up in wealth, he didn’t have a fancy house, a fancy backyard with a pool. No. Eddie grew up in a lonesome house, one that certainly wasn’t as luxurious as yours or the one he lives in now. The house he grew up in was haunted by painful memories of his mother that he lost at a way too young age and his father who came and went as he pleased, it was the only thing that he had, the only thing he called his own, but that was taken from him too and he had no choice but to move in with his Uncle Wayne, who had done everything to give him a home – and now, Eddie gave him that back, he gave Wayne a home, a nice house with a nice roof over his head, a garden that he always wanted to have. Eddie had tried to keep the upside down a secret, he didn’t want to talk about what was out there, he didn’t want to worry him, he didn’t want to tell him where all the money actually came from but Wayne isn’t stupid and Eddie isn’t exactly the best at keeping secrets from the people he loves and cares about. 

You wonder what you would have told your parents if they were still here – would you have told them the truth about what actually happened at the Creel house? Or would you have kept it all a secret? You are certainly much better at keeping secrets hidden. Eddie couldn’t even look Wayne in the eyes when he told him that the bite marks on his skin came from a rabid dog and not from interdimensional bats. 

Something cold touches your shoulder, making you flinch in surprise. You tilt your head up, meeting the eyes of your best friend again, “where’s your head at, sweets?” He chuckles, holding the can of diet pepsi out to you. 

With furrowed brows, you look down at the drink and reach for it, “thanks,” you murmur, “and uh, nowhere. I’m just fascinated by your backyard.” 

His dimples show when a laugh escapes him, he takes a seat beside you, snatching away the blunt from your lap, he places it between his lips and uses his red lighter to light it up. He lets out a content sigh as he leans back, puffing out the smoke into the sky before he takes a look around, “it’s nice isn’t it?” 

You nod, pulling the tab on your pepsi, it opens with a pop. 

“It’s better than mine.” 

He turns his head to look at you, a bewildered look on his face, “you’re crazy, sweets. You got a pool.”

“You got one too!” You chuckle, pointing to the pool that has yet to be used, it’s warm out, not hot yet. 

“Yeah, well yours is fucking huge, and you got a hot tub too!” 

“You got a hot tub, chica?” Argyle gasps from your right, “oh, you’re rich rich.” 

“Correction, my parents were rich.” 

“Correction, we’re all rich now,” Jonathan adds, pointing at you with a dazed smile. 

“Rich isn’t exactly the term I would use,” Nancy mumbles as she takes a sip of her soda. 

“Then what term would you use, Wheeler?” Eddie asks, shaking his head at her, “enlighten us.” 

Nancy clears her throat, placing her elbow on the wooden armrest, “we’re taken care of.” 

Jonathan snorts, putting his hand on her thigh as he gives her an amused smile, while she already rolls her eyes at whatever is about to leave his mouth – there’s no annoyance behind her eyes though, no tension in her body from where he touched her, unlike with Steve, who she always looked tense and irritated with. Back then you didn’t understand why, there were so many questions in your mind when you watched them and when she left him – how could anyone be irritated with Steve? How could anyone be tense with someone that provides so much love and warmth to the people he so deeply cares about? How could she leave him? How could she break his heart? Who could ever hurt Steve Harrington? 

“Just admit it, we’re rich.” 

A groan echoes through the backyard, one that doesn’t belong to Eddie, Nancy or anyone else sitting in the circle. You all turn your heads towards the house, finding a very annoyed Robin making her way over to you, a six pack of beers in her hand, sunglasses perched on her nose even though the sun is starting to go down already. 

Eddie isn’t surprised at her barging into his home, she does it all the time, to him, to you, to Steve, he doesn’t mind it though. 

You straighten your back, holding your drink tighter as you look away from her, waiting for Steve to walk through the door. 

The feelings inside of you start to rise again, your heart picking up the pace as your skin starts burning from the excitement.

Robin plops down in the seat next to Eddie, placing the beers on the ground as she slumps back, sighing loudly. 

Everyone’s watching her, expecting a rant already but you’re still fixated on the door, waiting for him. 

“Buckley, why so angry?” 

She pulls her sunglasses up into her hair, turning to face him, “I’m glad you asked,” she murmurs as she reaches for one of the beers, “Dingus ditched me, so I had to walk all the way here!” She throws her arms up dramatically. 

You furrow your brows at her words, the burning on your skin beginning to die down just as fast as it came. 

Argyle and Jonathan chuckle at her. 

“You live 3 blocks away from here…” Nancy mumbles. 

“Not the point, Nance,” she argues, glaring at her friend. 

“Wait, so Steve isn’t coming?” Jonathan slurs. 

Your eyes are wide and hopeful, your hand clutching the can tighter as you dig your feet into the grass beneath you, a weird feeling settling in the pit of your stomach. 

“Wetting his dick with Heidi seems more fucking important today,” she grumbles, rolling her eyes as she raises the beer to her lips. 

Your heart drops. 

The burning in your skin disappears completely as the fire is replaced by ice, the coldness of it freezing your whole body, stopping your heart and taking the false hope away as it kills every feeling that had taken home inside of you just seconds ago. 

Your eyes are stuck on her like you’re waiting, waiting for her to laugh and say it was a joke, that he will be here soon, that he isn’t out with some other girl after what happened between you and him yesterday. 

“Whoa, what?” Eddie mumbles, holding his hands up, “so… he’s on a date with the girl he didn’t want to keep seeing?” 

“Yep.”

Every ounce of excitement is now replaced by the sickness in your stomach, the lump in your throat that makes you struggle to breathe. 

What were you thinking? 

That the game you played wasn't just a game to him? That it was something more than that? That he wanted you just the way you always wanted him? That he could ever feel something for you? 

You don’t know whether you want to laugh at yourself or cry. 

How saddening it is to long for someone who was forced to like you. 

While you were getting ready, making yourself look pretty for him, thinking that he might like you in this dress – he was getting ready to take out another girl, a girl that he chose to like. 

You slowly slump back in your seat when Eddie’s laughter pulls you back into reality. You blink, masking the shocked, pained look on your face with a relaxed one as you take a sip of your drink, hoping that it will get rid of the lump sitting in your throat – it doesn’t. Nothing does. 

Your friends move on to another topic, while you stay there, where you will stay for a while now. The pain of the rejection that has never even taken place, slowly sinking in and everything around you begins to suffocate you – the dress you are wearing, the necklace around your neck, even the presence of your friends. 

You don’t want to be here any longer, you need to be alone. 

But you can’t go, not now, not yet. 

It would be too soon, too obvious and they can’t know, no one can know about your feelings for Steve, about how much it hurts to feel that way for him. 

So you hide the pain as best as you can, you nod along to your friends' conversation, you speak and you laugh when you have to, even when everything inside of you wants you to cry both out of sadness and anger. 

You’re not even angry at him, you couldn’t be angry at him even if you tried to be. He doesn’t know about your feelings – if he did, he wouldn’t have filled you with false hope, you know he wouldn’t. 

He wouldn’t string you along, you know he’s not the type of person to do something like that, not even to you. But you really thought that you had something, that there was something between you, that’s why you let your walls crumble, that’s why you started acting upon your feelings, that’s why you were ready to do more than just the subtle touches and the flirtations. 

You wait, you wait for the right moment to leave, when everyone is distracted enough, you get up, after whispering an apology, a lie into Eddie’s ear, knowing that he doesn’t believe you, that he will probably call you later or even show up to check on you. But he lets you go. 

And as you leave your friends, making your way back into the house, their laughter echoes in your ears, their happy voices and the cheerfulness they’re all feeling, that you were supposed to feel too. 

You blink back the tears, not wanting them to fall just yet. 

You make your way back to your car, not wasting a second to start it and drive home, your vision blurred and your throat hurting from how much you want to cry. 

How foolish it was of you to think that you could ever stand a chance – there was never one to begin with. You will always be the one in the shadows, the one to secretly watch him, the one to secretly want him, the one with the jealousy and the heartache, the one wishing to be anyone but herself because maybe then, he would want you too. 

The smell of smoke from the campfire is now lingering on your clothes and in your hair, tears are now falling freely, ruining the makeup that you have spent hours on, the makeup that you can’t wait to wash off now. 

You don’t even want to think about him. 

You don’t want to ask yourself what he’s doing now. 

He touched you so softly, so subtly, and yet it did everything to set your insides on fire, to make you feel special, even if only for a short moment. 

Now he is touching someone else, in far more special ways. 

A frustrated sigh falls from your lips when you step inside your home, it’s cold and empty, something that you have felt like for a very long time until he started the fire inside of you, only to make it die again… and all without his knowledge. 

You walk up the stairs and past your room, going straight into the bathroom, feeling the need to wash away the day, as though it could ease the aching in your chest. You start the shower before you turn to the sink, not even bothering to look at your reflection in the mirror, it would only make you feel more pathetic. 

You can feel the hot tears rolling down your cheeks, the quivering in your bottom lip. 

You hate this, you hate the sadness that you shouldn’t be feeling in the first place. 

You got no reason to be sad, you should have put your feelings aside, knowing that nothing would ever come out of it. 

It was all so obvious, it was just teasing, nothing more, nothing less. Nothing ever happened, so why would it happen now? He just found another way of messing with you, so that you two wouldn’t go at each other's throats like before.

You just have to go back. No more teasing like this. No more letting yourself get sucked into delusions. He is just having fun while you crave something more with him and get hopeful. 

You aren’t having fun. You wanted more.

You have no choice but to go back to how you were before this… thing started. 

Once your makeup is off and your dress is now laying on the bathroom floor, you step inside the shower, letting the warmth envelope you, hoping for a sense of comfort from it. 

Standing there for a moment, you let the water rain upon your skin, matching the pace of your tears that you’re willing away. 

You will hunt Billy in the afterlife for making you believe that King Steve could ever want you. 

You use your scented shampoo, hoping that it will get rid of the smell of smoke in your hair. You love campfire’s but you can’t stand the stench it leaves on your clothes and your hair. 

Your hands run over your smooth skin as you wash your body, reminding you of the fact that you even shaved this morning – you couldn’t feel more stupid than you do right now. 

Despite the loudness of your own voice cursing at you inwardly and the water hitting the glass, you hear the sound of your doorbell going off – multiple times. 

“What the fuck,” you murmur in confusion. 

It keeps ringing again and again – once, twice and it stops after a third time before it turns into rapid knocking. 

You know it isn’t Eddie, he wouldn’t even have the patience to ring your doorbell and wait for you to open, he’d just barge right in. 

You’d choose to ignore it if the person outside wasn’t so goddamn persistent. 

You turn off the shower, squeezing the water from your hair before you get out, and wrap a towel around your body. The mirror is fogged, as the rest of the room is, you open the door and step out into the hallway, that now feels colder than before. 

The knocking continues, filling you with anger. 

Who shows up at night, knocking like a mad man? 

Maybe you shouldn’t make your way downstairs now, maybe you shouldn’t open the door to whoever it is on the other side. It could be anyone or anything but you doubt that Vecna came back from the dead to knock on doors now and hunt you of all people – he could have done that weeks back, you went through enough trauma, he could have easily chosen you but even he didn’t want you. 

You rip open the door, ready to curse and yell at whoever is terrorizing you at this hour but every word gets caught in your throat and even your breathing halts for a second as your glassy eyes meet the hazel ones that you have been missing all day. Frustration and anger swirling inside them, blazing fire raging behind his eyes. His cheeks are slightly flushed, his chest rising up and down heavily as he stands on your porch, looking better than ever. 

“Steve?” His name tumbles out of your mouth before you can stop it as you stare at him in confusion. 

He eyes you up and down, taking in the sight of your exposed skin that is still dripping with water before he clenches his jaw, raising his hand to run his fingers through his hair, tugging at it. 

Steve Harrington is fucked. He is utterly fucked. You have cursed him in every way possible, he can’t get you out of his mind, he can’t get you out of his system and the thought that you were only playing with him drove him insane. His hunger for you made him desperate, desperate for release. 

So in his state of frustration and desperation, he called up Heidi, thinking that a date and sex with a girl he had been with before would help him move on and stop thinking about you but who was he fooling. He couldn’t even kiss her when she leaned in to greet him with her lips, he dodged her. He couldn’t even listen to the things she was telling him after they ordered their drinks. He couldn’t care less about her. All he could think about was you. All he wanted was you. He wanted your lips to kiss him, he wanted your hands to touch him, he wanted your body under his and the more he thought about it, the more he stopped caring about a possible humiliation after he’d finally make a move on you, he needed you, and he needed to try – if you’d reject him, then so be it, at least he would know and not live with the what if’s in his head. 

He canceled the date in the middle of it, not caring about how messed up that was. He drove her home and without a second thought, he drove here, he came to you. 

And now, you’re standing in front of him, in nothing but a towel, water rolling down your soft skin, big eyes filled with confusion, lips parted, lips that he wants to kiss until he grows breathless. 

The sight in front of him does little to make any of this easier for him. You look like you’ve just walked out of one the dreams he had about you. 

“You gotta be kidding me,” he murmurs under his breath, surprising you when he invites himself into your home, brushing past you with an intensity that almost knocks you off your feet. 

You blink, turning around abruptly, a bewildered look replacing your confused one. 

As you take in the sight of him, your sadness begins to dissolve as the anger you started to miss floods through your veins the longer you look at him. 

You slam the door shut when the wind causes goosebumps to rise on your skin, you hold the towel tighter against your body as you glare at him, “what the fuck?”

“I have to be the one to say that!” He argues.

“Excuse me?” You scoff, your face now burning with rage. Every second that passes now makes you forget about the tears you just shed over him, irritation sparking inside of you so wildly that you want nothing more than to kick him out of your house for behaving that way towards you for no reason. “Weren’t you on a date with… Heidi?” 

Steve clenches his jaw at the mocking voice, at the smirk now tugging on your lips. He chuckles, though not in amusement, he points a finger at you, “see, that’s what I’m fucking talking about!”

Your brows knit together at his outburst, the fire in his eyes growing stronger and bigger. 

“Harrington, if you came to yell nonesense at me, just fucking leave!” You roll your eyes and turn away from him, making your way back towards the stairs. 

But his scoff stops you. 

“Oh, so you keep running away huh!? Didn’t you already get over that!?” 

You turn around with nothing but anger boiling inside of you, “running away!? From what!?”

This should have been enough to make him turn around and leave, because clearly nothing changed, clearly this is still just a game to you – but he has hope, and he is desperate enough to throw every bit of his dignity away and risk something. 

“Oh, don’t play fucking dumb right now. Acting like that for two weeks and pretending to be stupid is not a good look on you, Blondie.” 

You take in a sharp breath, digging your fingers into your towel as you frown at him. 

What does he want from you? 

Why did he come here? 

Was the date so bad, was the sex so awful that he had to come here to torture you? 

Without another word, you turn around and you stomp up the stairs, not wanting to see him, not wanting to hear his voice anymore. 

Your heart starts pounding in your chest again, and you can’t help but wonder – did he figure you out? Did he figure out your feelings? Is that why he is here? To confront you about them? To reject you?

You feel more and more stupid about what you had wanted to do when you woke up this morning. 

Just when your feet carry you up to the second floor, and you rush across the hallway to walk into your room, his footsteps echo behind you, making you more irritated than before. You turn around to face him, but before you can even say anything, Steve is suddenly right in front of you, and his hands reach out to grab your waist, he pushes you against the wall behind you, gently, careful not to hurt you. 

The gasp that falls from your lips startles you. His hands that touch the only thing that covers your body leaving your skin on fire. Your heart rate picks up so rapidly that it nearly steals your breath away. You look up into his golden brown orbs, the ones that are nearly black as he steps even closer, invading your space completely, making you breathe in the scent of his cologne, the one that has butterflies swirling in your stomach. 

He catches you off guard completely. 

You feel so vulnerable, so exposed as you stand there, caged in by his arms, his breath on your skin, his eyes that are filled with so much hunger. 

The words die on your tongue, and yet, after you breathe in more of his scent, you open your mouth to speak. 

“Shut up, Blondie… Just shut up for a second,” he murmurs, interrupting whatever words you had prepared to lie to him with. 

His right hand leaves your waist, inching closer to your stomach as his fingers trace the hem of your towel, drool already forming in his mouth at the sight of you, he is ready to take you, ready to devour you and make you scream his name before he fucks you for only this time. 

He notices the way your chest is moving, the way your breathing stutters. 

“W-What are you doing, perv?” You stutter as you watch him play with the opening of your towel. 

He can’t help but laugh, shaking his head at your insult. 

“Perv? Are you going to continue to play fucking dumb?” 

“Dumb? You are the dumb one if you think that I’m going to be the one to break into your teasing.” 

Steve’s eyes flash with satisfaction. 

This is what he wanted – to hear you admit that you were playing that game with him after all and not because you were playing him and stringing him along just to turn him down to gain something from it, whatever it might be. No. You were doing just what he was hoping for, all along. 

You want him just as much as he wants you and that’s all he needs to know. 

You roll your eyes at him, turning your head as you try to push your way out of his grasp but before you can even step away from him, his hands stop you but not on your waist this time. His large hands cup your cheeks, making you freeze. You stare at him wide eyed when he brings you closer, and you can’t even react before his whole body is suddenly pressed against yours, your heartbeat lurches into your throat. 

As though his touch wasn’t shocking enough, his next move almost causes you to collapse, because now it isn’t only his body against yours, his hands on your cheeks or his breath on your skin, now it’s his lips… his lips on yours, his lips moving against yours in desperation as he takes every last of your breath and makes it his own. 

You can’t do anything, you can’t move, you can’t breathe, you can’t even blink as you stare at him – how his eyes are closed and his cheeks are flushed, the furrowed brows as he kisses you with a kind of passion no one has ever kissed you with before. 

Steve is kissing you. 

Steve Harrington is kissing you. 

His lips are moving roughly against yours, his hands holding your cheeks so softly, yet with an intensity. 

This is all you ever wanted, to feel his touch and his lips on yours but you are too stunned to move, too surprised to kiss him back right now, too distracted wondering if this is real or not.

Along with the shock, you feel the slightest bit of insecurity flooding through you because even though he is kissing you, you can’t help but wonder why. Why isn’t he with Heidi? Why isn’t he kissing her right now? Did she turn him down? Did he come here because he just needed someone? Because he knew that you would fall for this? Or is this just another way for him to tease you? 

Those questions prompt you to push him away, forcing him to break the kiss that he was so deeply lost in. 

You notice the way he begrudgingly pulls away, the way he seems so drawn to your lips, the way his brows furrow in confusion now, his face is flushed and his pupils dilated as he looks at you with nothing but desperation in his eyes – he isn’t teasing, he wants you, he wants you right now and isn’t that all that matters? That he wants you?

His eyes stare into yours as he is breathing heavily. A flash of rejection takes over his features and by the look in his eyes, you can tell that he is beginning to get lost in his anxious thoughts – thoughts that you quickly shut down by making the move that he just made. You cup his cheeks and you pull him down, closing your eyes as you slam your lips against his for the very first time. 

Unlike you, he wastes no second to reciprocate the kiss, a sigh of content leaving him as he presses you back against the wall. 

Warmth blooms in your stomach, one that doesn’t stay the same temperature for long because the moment he deepens the kiss, the moment his hands hold you tighter and his knee parts your legs, sliding his thigh in between yours as the kiss gets rougher and rougher, you feel the warmth evolving into a deeper, burning sensation – a fire inside of you that only he can mend. 

You can’t believe that this is happening, that something that you had been craving for years is now here. 

And Steve, he feels his heart pounding in his chest from the rush, from the adrenaline, from his desperation that grows bigger and stronger when he feels just how much you want him as your lips move roughly with his. 

You're hesitant with your touch, but when he grabs your face and pulls you even tighter against his body, his thigh pressing stronger against your core, you can’t help but throw your arms around his neck, digging your fingers into the hair that you’ve always wanted to touch. 

You can feel him smirking against your lips when you moan into the kiss, which prompts you to tug at his hair and press your tongue against his bottom lip.

He welcomes it into his mouth so eagerly, his tongue now clashing against yours as his palms slide down to your waist while your hands reach for the front of his shirt, fisting the material tightly as you begin to drag him into your room. 

You both know, you both feel where this is going, what this is leading to – what the past few weeks have been leading to. 

You want this, you need this, you need him, even if just for tonight. 

And you know, you already know that you will be done for, that he will ruin you for anyone else but you couldn’t care less, right now. Especially when he kisses you with so much roughness, everything about this setting all your insides on fire, leaving your skin burning and yet aching for more. 

Steve is careful not to step on your bare feet as you lead him backwards into a different room. Excitement bubbles in his stomach and he grows even more breathless than before, he pulls away and breaks the kiss but doesn’t hesitate to latch his lips onto your neck, kissing and biting your flesh, “I fucking hate you, Blondie. I hate that I want you so much.” 

Your lashes flutter as you close your eyes, tilting your head to the side as you feel your stomach and your heart fluttering at his touch, at his lips on your skin but especially at his words. 

Your knees grow weak and a needy whimper falls from your puffy lips. 

All that echoes in your mind now is I want you. I want you. I want you. 

You don’t even care about the other things he said to you, you only care about the three little words you have only ever dreamt of before. 

You almost fall when you feel the back of your legs hitting your bed, but he keeps you upright, not pushing you down just yet. He keeps nibbling on your neck, kissing, biting, sucking as he breathes heavily against you, growing harder against your stomach. 

“Couldn’t even finish the fucking date, couldn’t do anything cause I kept thinking about you, Blondie,” he speaks into your neck, fingers now dangerously close to your bare skin behind the towel. 

Your heart nearly explodes at his words and you can’t help but sigh in relief, knowing that nothing happened between him and Heidi. And all because of you. 

“You drive me fucking crazy, I want to rip the towel right off–”

“Then do!” You whine, not caring about how eager and desperate you sound, “show me how much you hate me, Stevie.” 

He pulls away from your neck after placing another wet kiss to your skin, strands of your hair getting caught in his as he faces you again, with flushed cheeks and almost black eyes he looks at you and takes in the sight of you, the pout on your lips, the flustered look on your face, big eyes that you are begging him with. 

He doesn’t even bother to look around the room, just caring about the bed behind you. 

He rips the towel off your body, letting it fall to the ground, his hands find your bare waist that he grips tightly as he throws you on the bed, smirking at the gasp that leaves your lips again. 

Without hesitating to, he reaches for the hem of his shirt and rips it off. 

Just like back then on the boat, when he took his shirt off before he jumped into the water, you stare at his chest, almost drooling at the delicious sight in front of you. His broad shoulders, the scar around his neck that makes him look even hotter, the hairs on his chest, the muscles in his arms that have visibly gotten bigger since high school. You bite your lip as your eyes move down, almost whining when you see the bulge in his tight jeans. 

You wish you could run your finger down his chest and his stomach, tracing every little scar that the bats have left behind, but instead, you push yourself up, blushing at the fact that you are completely bare in front of him. You reach for his belt, fingers beginning to fumble with the metal when he stops you with a simple touch and a headshake. 

“None of that,” he murmurs as he leans over, his hands digging between your ass and the mattress as he suddenly pulls you to the edge of the bed, dropping to his knees before you, he throws your legs over his shoulder and looks up at you with hooded eyes, “I need to hear you first.” 

You nearly combust when you feel his breath on your pussy and his lips on your inner thighs. A whimper falling from your mouth as you try to close your legs out of instinct, blushing even harder than before. 

“You’re fucking soaked,” he smirks, holding your thighs open as he teasingly slips a finger through your folds, “all for me, huh?” 

You don’t answer but you don’t need to, the loud moan that you let out when he dives right into you with his tongue, gives him everything he needs to know. 

He moans in content as he grabs your ass roughly, eyes rolling back when he tastes you for the first time, he almost starts drooling over you, finding pleasure in this. 

He teasingly licks a stripe up from your entrance to your clit, circling the tip of his tongue around your already aching nub as he uses his fingers to part your lips. 

You scrunch up your face as his tongue pleases you in ways your fingers never could, sighs and whimpers start escaping you as he now presses his thumb against your clit and he starts eating you out, his moans vibrating against you. 

Your mouth falls open as your back arches in pleasure, fingers digging into the sheets beneath you as you fall apart completely. 

No words are spoken as you both just enjoy this moment of bliss, him getting lost in you, you getting lost in the pleasure he blesses you with. 

You focus on everything and also on nothing – his whimpers send shivers through you, his tongue that he fucks you with making you gasp and drool, and despite the heaviness in your eyes, you manage to open them, wanting, needing to see him. 

He eats you out slowly, yet desperately, fingers and tongue now working together to unravel you. His eyes are closed and he keeps moaning and whimpering as saliva runs down his chin. He looks so content, so pleased from only this. 

Steve curls his fingers inside of you as he keeps his thumb on your clit, rubbing circles on it. 

Tears of pleasure prickle in your eyes as needy sounds keep escaping you. You hold the sheets even tighter now, closing your legs around his head, caging him in between them. 

Steve finally opens his eyes, they darken even more now when he sees how you are falling apart for him, it only prompts him to fuck you even harder with his tongue and his two fingers. 

Your moans and whimpers are enough to drive him crazy, enough to make the erection in his pants feel painful but he wants more, he needs to hear his name falling from your lips and he gets what he wants only seconds later when your body grows tense and your back arches again as a tear rolls down your cheek. 

“Steve!” You nearly scream as you come undone, writhing beneath his touch. 

You tilt your head to the side, bringing your hand up to your face, you bite your teeth into your knuckles as hot tears run down your flushed cheeks. 

Steve laps at your pussy, moans still falling from his mouth. Only as you whimper weakly does he pull away from you, but not without giving your clit another teasing lick, causing you to spasm which only makes him chuckle darkly. 

He carefully removes your legs from his shoulders and lets go of you before he rises back to his full height. 

You instantly press your legs together, breathing heavily as you try to calm down from the orgasm he just gave you. 

What Steve didn’t do before was take in the sight of your bare body, and now as he does it, he has to swallow harshly, his dick twitching in his jeans, begging for release. He finds himself aching for you, even more than before, he not only wants you, he needs you in ways he can’t even describe. 

He watches the way your chest glistens with sweat, your nipples hard from the pleasure that curses through your body, your eyes are shut, your brows pulled together. He licks his lips before he bites down as his eyes trace every inch of your skin, the scars that make you look even more attractive. 

It takes everything in him not to drop to his knees and taste you once again. 

He needs you, he needs to feel you wrapped around his dick, he needs to hear your moans as he fills you to the brim, he needs to fuck you. 

Steve unbuckles his belt, the metal clinking against each other, causing you to open your eyes at the sound. 

You look at him through your glassy eyes, pushing yourself up on your elbows as you watch him unbutton his pants but before he pushes them down, he reaches for his wallet in his back pocket and you watch him curiously. 

He opens it to take out the condom he had prepared for a different… less exciting occasion. He hastily pushes his pants and boxers down, his dick slaps against his stomach and he fails to notice the way your eyes widen or the way your lips part in surprise at the sight, at the size of him. He steps out of his shoes, cursing under his breath as he pushes them aside before he uses both hands to part your legs, getting on the mattress.

Before he rips the foil apart, he looks into your eyes, wanting your consent first but no words have to leave his mouth because you are the first to make the move, you sit up slightly, taking the tiny foil pack from his fingers, surprising him by bringing it up to your lips and ripping it open with your teeth. 

Despite the streaks of tears on your skin, the fucked out look in your eyes, the shakiness in your body, you look at him so dangerously. 

And he can’t do anything but watch you in awe for a moment, how you wrap your much smaller hand around his dick, pressing your thumb against his slit to tease him. 

“O-Oh fuck…” He shudders, eyes nearly closing at only that. 

You bite your bottom lip, trying not to drool as you roll the condom over his length. You look up at him again to find him staring at you with flushed cheeks and lust in his eyes. It’s dark in the room, but you can see each other just well enough, the moon shines brightly into your room tonight. 

You can’t even help yourself when you cup his cheeks and pull him down for a kiss, closing your eyes when your lips meet again. 

He grabs your waist, making you crawl back until you’re far enough on the mattress for your head to hit the pillows when he pushes you down. He presses his hands on your knees and you part your legs eagerly for him. 

His fingers trace your skin as he brings his hand up, passing your hip bone and your waist and grabbing your boob with roughness as he slips his tongue into your mouth, wanting you to taste yourself. He pinches your nipple with his fingers, smirking against you when you whine and writhe underneath him. 

You reach your hand down, not wanting to waste any more seconds, you wrap your hand around his dick again, jerking him off a few times before you line him up with your entrance, whining desperately again. 

Steve breaks the kiss and opens his eyes to look at you, “you’re so desperate for my cock, huh?” He breathes, still playing with your nipple. 

You raise yourself up a little, pecking his lips again as you nod your head. 

He can’t believe that you are this needy for him, that you are giving him those eyes. 

If only he knew how many times you have dreamt of this moment. 

“Please,” you whimper. 

“Please what, Blondie?” He teases you as his hand now slides down your stomach, fingertips brushing your clit, making you shiver. 

You blink and you breathe heavily as you place your hand on his shoulder, “please fuck me, Steve… Please…”

A satisfied smirk appears on his face, your desperation making him feel smug – but the smugness quickly dissolves into something else when he pushes inside you and feels your tightness around him for the very first time. 

You breathe in harshly and hold it, shutting your eyes when you feel him stretching you out. Nothing could have prepared you for this moment, not his tongue, not his fingers, nothing. The stretch is both painful and delicious, it makes you gasp but it also makes you drool as he inches deeper and deeper. 

Steve can only curse and whimper in pleasure as he watches his cock disappearing inside of you, he doesn’t push in fully though, too scared to hurt you. 

He bites his bottom lip, bottoming out again before he pushes back in, listening to the wet sound and the neediness in your voice as you moan. 

“M-More,” you whine, your eyes now watching him, “please…”

His dick twitches at the sound of that and at the look on your face. 

“Fuck me, Steve.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice, he pushes in deeper than before, until he’s buried inside of you completely. Usually, he would take a moment to catch his breathe, to adjust to the tightness but he is too eager, too desperate for this. So he grabs your hips and he starts thrusting, slowly at first, not wanting to hurt you. 

You gasp, hands finding the sheets beneath you again as your eyes follow the movement of his hips, watching the way his dick slides in and out of you. You throw your head back and look at his face next.

Strands of his hair fall in front of his eyes, his lips are puffy from all the kissing, his cheeks are flushed. He is moaning, for you, because of you. You are in utter bliss, feeling pride swell in your chest when he moans even louder as you clench around him. 

He watches the way he fucks you, eyes growing darker and darker and then, he looks at your chest, the way your tits bounce from the movements, something that prompts him to move his hips even faster, fucking into you harder now. 

“F-Fuck,” you whine loudly. 

His eyes meet your face and the pleasure on it is suddenly not enough for him, he wants to throw you over the edge, he needs to hear you scream for him. 

He curses under his breath when you clench around him again. 

Steve’s knees dig into the mattress, his fingers now holding you even stronger than before, he is sure to leave bruises but you don’t mind, you would never mind. He fastens his pace, railing into you and thrusting in and out of you, making you fall apart in the matter of a few seconds. You can’t speak, even if you tried. All that you can do is moan pathetically, letting him use you. 

“You take me so well, holy shit, Blondie,” he whimpers, voicing out his thoughts, brows scrunching together as he watches you, your lips parted, moans that he only ever dreamt of leaving you. “L-Look at you, fuck. If I knew that my cock would shut you up, I would’ve done this a long time ago.” 

“S-Steve!” You whine with a high pitched voice, something that only leads him to pound you even harder even if a tiny part of him wants to mock you. 

Your eyes roll back, the tension in your stomach rolling back in, only stronger and hotter this time, and you already don’t know what to do with yourself, but when he suddenly reaches for your legs, hooking the back of your knees around his forearms, your eyes widen when they meet his again and a wicked smirk appears on his face as he starts fucking you from a different angle, snapping his hips into yours so wildly that you can’t help but cry out as your eyelids become droopy, tears now begging to be released, just like the drool that starts coming from the corner of your mouth. 

The room now filled with nothing but the dirty sounds of your skin slapping together, the squelching noises from your pussy and his pleasing moans. 

Steve watches you in awe, eyes growing wide when he sees just how cockdrunk you are for him. 

He fucks you recklessly, eagerly and as though it is the last thing he will ever do. 

Your tears fall freely, your whimpers turning into cries the moment his thumb finds your clit again. 

He feels your walls clenching around him, gripping his twitching cock tightly – and he knows you’re close, he knows that he is close but he doesn’t want to stop, he doesn’t want this moment to be over. 

Steve savors every second, pounding into you roughly and harshly, grabbing your face with his left hand when your head falls to the side, he needs to watch you, he needs to see you when you cum around him. 

“You wanna cum for me?” He asks breathlessly. 

You nod eagerly, without letting a word fall from your lips, you only nod and whine. 

You feel the overstimulation rushing through you, the fire in your stomach that is about to burst into something bigger. You can feel him everywhere, he is so deep inside of you that it makes your body shake like crazy, but it feels good, so good that it almost wants to make you cry for different reasons when you think about how this could be a one time thing. 

His hand leaves your face, he throws his palm into the pillow next to you, holding it tightly as his own eyes fall shut now, moaning your name as he picks up the pace of his fingers against your clit, his hips snapping faster into yours now. 

“I-I’m–”

“I know, I know…” He coos, letting his face fall into the crook of your neck. 

You feel the urge to feel him even closer, so despite the weakness in your body, you use every bit of your strength to lift your hand and press it against his warm back. 

“Cum for me,” he whimpers into your neck before he bites into your flesh, marking you up for anyone to see. 

A loud gasp tears out of you as his last thrusts grow rougher and his fingers move faster, you can’t help but dig your nails into his back, scratching him as stars blur your vision and the shockwaves grip your body so tightly as you cum around his cock, just as he spills into the condom, moaning into your neck. 

You can’t even feel your tears nor the drool still coming out of your mouth, all that you can feel is him. Your arm now falls back onto the mattress and your eyes shutting as the darkness starts to envelope you. 

“F-Fuck,” he whispers as he stops moving, pressing another kiss to your neck before he pulls out of you, hissing at the feeling. 

He can feel your trembling body beneath his, the sighs that keep falling from your lips, he smugly pulls away to take a look at you, only to see your eyes dropping as you start to lose your consciousness. 

“Shit,” he whispers, cupping your cheeks, “you okay, Blondie?” 

You nod as best as you can, slapping his hand away as you snuggle into the pillows, not even bothering with the blanket. 

He scratches the back of his neck, pressing his lips together as he watches you fall asleep so quickly. He can’t help but feel smug as he looks at the way your thighs are trembling still. 

He stands up, leaving the room to walk into the bathroom, where the light is still turned on. He steps inside, noticing how the mirror is a little fogged, the smell of vanilla and strawberries lingering in the air, making his stomach flutter ever so slightly. 

Discarded clothes lay on the ground, he picks them up and puts them on the counter before he rolls off the condom, tying it up before he throws it into the trash. He turns towards the sink and washes his hands before he walks back into your room, a smile tugging on his lips. 

He plops down beside you, pulling the cover over you and himself, scooting closer to you. 

He doesn’t know where this will go or what is going to happen tomorrow but as he looks at your stained face, and every single previous second replays in his head, he is sure of one thing. 

There is not a single fucking chance that this is going to be a one time thing. 

♡

tagging friends and mutuals!

@prettyboyeddiemunson @taintedcigs @mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @maroon-cardigan @munson-mjstan @sherrylyn628 @munsonlore @ibellcipem @joekeerysmoles

[coco-loco-nut]

Book Club - Part 3

Pairing: Grid X Reader, Lance X Reader

Summary: lewis get a new song inspired by one of the book they read that week, a little lance relationship focused as well

a/n: even as an avid reader, i struggle so much choosing books for this 🥲, sorry if this one sucks

requests open 🫶✨ masterlist

—————————

“Alright boys, get ready to swoon!” You pull out copies of your chosen book, The Dead Romantics. After reading classics and adventure, and thrillers, you chose chick-lit. It had been recommended on other book club chatboards, so you deemed it safe for the guys.

“Same time, same place next week,” Daniel grabs a book and walks out. The rest file out of the motor home, books in hand. You follow Fernando to Aston Martin.

“Lance, your girlfriend is here for you,” Fernando calls for him before you can. “Good choice, I enjoyed this one the last time I read it,” Fernando says before walking to his room, leaving you stunned.

“Hello, mon cœur,” Lance kisses you before grabbing your hand and taking you to his room.

“What is the book this week,” He asks once you cuddle up on the couch. Since he found out about the club, he’s been reading the books with you.

“The Dead Romantics, first one to finish gets to choose the next date,” you hand him his copy before starting your own. Lance’s assistant brings in coffees and breakfast for you both while you read.

“When we get married, would you change your last name, combine ours, let me take yours, or leave our names as is,” Lance asks after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“Hmm, I like the sound of Y/n Stroll, but maybe I’ll still race under my name,” you decide, paying attention to the books, thinking about the predetermined discussion questions.

“Fuck,” Lance groans after his phone went off, quickly bookmarking his page.

“What’s wrong baby?” you ask, bookmarking yours as well.

“I have a meeting with Dad in a few minutes,”

“Oh, want me to come along? I love your dad,” you run your fingers through his fluffy hair.

“It’s okay, it’ll take a while. You are more than welcome to stay here or go and get ready for the drivers parade. Either way, I will see you after,” he kisses you before gathering a couple things and heading out. You finish another chapter and head to your motorhome, dressing yourself in team gear and redoing your hair. Lance waits for you outside your team garage.

By next week, you both have finished the book and have been raving about it to people, you even sent a copy to George. You won the challenge, although you were sure Lance let you win.

“Have fun at your meeting, you are literally bouncing in excitement,” Lance laughs, kissing the side of your head and leaving you in front of Haas’ hospitality. You quickly find the club, who are equally happy with your pick.

“That was the best romance book I’ve read in a while,” Daniel starts off.

“It was my second time reading it. Much better than the first time,” Fernando agrees.

“And the plot twist!” Nico gasps, all of you nodding along.

“I wrote a song about it,” Lewis says nonchalantly, causing you all to pause.

“Lew… what?” You can’t imagine how one would write a song about it. The book was good, but it wasn’t Shakespeare.

“Yeah, the broken hearts, the forbidden nature of their love, separated by the paranormal, the spiciness of the ending. It inspired me, almost like all those songs for Fifty Shades of Grey,” Lewis explains.

“I don’t know how that would work, but I am sure that you made it work,” Kevin says as Lewis pulls out his phone.

You heard some of his music before, and you knew he could sing and his writing was pretty good. Unfortunately, this was not the case. The singing was great, but the lyrics were a little too… sappy for his style. It wasn’t even sensual, he was just singing about falling in love with someone you shouldn’t.

“That was great, Lewis,” Daniel encourages Lewis,

“If racing doesn’t work out, maybe you will have a career in music,” Valtteri offers, maybe you were the only one who wasn’t a fan.

“He already does, he was featured on a song,” Fernando rushes to pull it up on his phone. You swear he is the proud father of everyone in the room.

“Oh! We should do karaoke!” you gasp, excited at the thought.

“I like the way you think,” Daniel grins at you. It is usually never a good thing when you both get excited about an idea, it tends to end up with alcohol and regret, but never fails to be fun.

“My liver can take that right now, I would participate,” Checo says, leading the group in agreeing.

You and the other drivers rent out a bar the next night and make sure karaoke is set up, Lando DJs in the meantime.

“I’m going to sing my song!” Lewis tells you over your jolly rancher shots.

“Slay!” you cheers the shots, tap the glass to the bar, and take the shot. “I think I’m gonna sing Post Malone,” you reply, and Lewis drags you to sign up. Lance appears beside you, slipping an arm around your waist as he looks at the paper.

“Babe, what song is ‘Why Don’t You Love Me’, I have never seen it on an album,” Lance asks and you tell him its origin. “Oh, that’s funny, I’ll film it,” he writes both of your names down for Total Eclipse of the Heart.

A few shots later and Lewis kicks it off with his song, it is actually a lot better drunk. You follow him up with the meme song, getting everyone laughing, before Lance joins you. The two of you surprisingly sounded very good when you rewatched the video the next day, then posted it to your Instagram story.

“Never. Again.” Kevin groans the next morning as Valtteri walks in, excited to talk with the group.

“That was fun! When are we doing that again?”

[tainsan]

misfits (college!ateez x reader)

When your world comes crashing down, the only people who are able to comfort you are the notorious group, Ateez. You’ve heard rumour after rumour about the eight males who are ice cold, yet for some reason, they are the warmest people you know.

Please read me: {hello! so finally i have wrote enough for me to release the first chapter and i really hope it is good enough for the lovely people who have been patiently waiting. there will be more chapters to come in the future so please do look forward to them! just so you all know there is a few trigger warnings i have to go through so just in case you are uncomfortable with certain subjects to read with caution and with your own comfort in mind. at the start of every chapter i will put the warnings that correlate with the said chapter. in this story there are topics of swearing, depression, anxiety, ptsd, suicide, negelection and mental abuse. so if you are not comfortable reading these please either avoid this story or read with extreme caution. your wellbeing is more important than anything. 

Now like i said in my previous post, this is going to be a poly!ateez story so hence there will be future smut and suggestive themes (which i will also put in the warnings before the chapter starts) but the message in the story is very much about past trauma and finding people who can help, heal and love you despite your imperfections.

With that all said! I hope you enjoy the first chapter of ‘Misfits’ and thank you kindly for waiting. 

do not steal my work or repost on places other than tumblr. 

with thanks to @musicdork and @moraxology for the help and ideas shared with me. thank you <3

-----THIS IS AN 18+ FANFICTION MINORS DO NOT INTERACT-----

Misfits, Chapter 1

⇢ masterlist ⇠ 

⇢ next chapter

warnings: anxiety attack, swearing, mentions of a house fire.

word count: 8.8k

Heart dropping to your stomach, you attempt to make sense of the words that are displayed on the small illuminating screen sat in front of you. Devastation hits you like a ton of bricks as you realise once again, it feels like the world is trying to punish you. Reading over the email once again, you let out an exasperated groan and let your head fall down onto your arms relaxing on the table.

“You’re homeless?” Your best friend almost screeches, scanning over the email present on your small laptop screen. 

“Okay a little louder Jisung and the aliens on the Saturn will fucking hear you,” You react, your voice muffled by your clothes.

“What happened? I thought your place was in one of the nicer areas?” 

Looking up from the desk, you see Jisung peering at you with a concerned expression.

“Do you remember those new tenants that moved in below me?” you ask, causing Jisung to nod his head, "Well they accidentally started a fire, and it burnt down half of the place because the owners weren’t smart enough to install fire hydrants around the residence.

“Isn’t it illegal to not have designated fire hydrants in a building?” 

“Probably, I mean that’s what I get for going for the cheapest available housing I could find, they say it's going to take at least a year to repair the damage.”

"Are all of your belongings okay?" 

"Not really, I managed to save most things like my books and some clothes but everything else is burnt. They say they are going to give me some money back for the damage, but I doubt it’ll be much."

"Then where are you staying now?"

"Yeji said I could stay with her for a few days, but she has a roommate moving in soon, so I have to get out before the end of this week."

"You have to start looking for a place to live __, I wish I could help you," 

Jisung lives with his boyfriend and friends in great student accommodation, there are only four rooms, yet they manage to fit eight grown men in there. Sadly, there's simply not enough space for another person.

“I’m aware of that, but all the school properties are full, and I’ve seen no flyers from people searching for roommates. There’s no way I'm looking for housing outside of the area, I would have to sell both my kidneys to afford a month's worth of rent. This apartment was the only place that was in my budget if I didn't want a roommate. At this point, I should probably start looking for a nice cosy bridge to live under.” 

Jisung lets out a stifled laugh before quickly covering his mouth realising the two of you are residing in a library. Being in a secluded area, noise isn’t really a problem, yet three other people are sitting near you, resting on the opposite side of the large wooden table. Two huddled next to each other, sharing a laptop, likely watching YouTube and one with striking blonde hair resting his head on his arms, undoubtedly sleeping.

“How many days until you have to move out?” Jisung inquires, laying his head on his hand and gazing at you. 

“Uh, I think like a week,” 

“Oh, so it’s not like you have to move out right now,” your best friend replies, a calm smile covering his features.

“Yeah, but I doubt that somebody is abruptly going to need a roommate out of nowhere,” 

Then, you hear rustling, then suddenly the guy who was sleeping on your table abruptly stands up, grabs his things, and rushes out of the library. 

“Probably had a nightmare or something,” Jisung chuckles, lighting up your mood.

“When’s your next lesson?” You ask, hoping he doesn't have to leave too soon. 

Observing as Jisung whips out his phone and looks at the time, he lets out a sigh.

“Starts in seven minutes, it takes like five minutes to walk there. I better get going,” Jisung replies, grabbing his books and laptop.

“Must you leave so soon? You can’t leave me here to tutor for three hours straight.” You let out a fake cry and hang onto his arm, pleading for him to stay. 

“You're the one who wanted the extra credit, don't blame me!” 

Bickering for a minute more, you eventually let Jisung get to his class, the two others across the table departing as well, leaving you alone.

Grumbling to yourself, you wonder why you even offered to tutor people, the extra credit is little to nothing. Alas, it’s too late to back out now as you have two people arriving soon. Typically, you only take people who you know personally, but Jisung’s boyfriend, Minho, said two of his classmates requested him to ask you to tutor, telling him they really needed assistance in maths. You hope they are pleasant because you are not about to be spending the next three hours with two arseholes.

You also typically only take one person at a time but due to your current tight schedule, you decided to just do two at once. You need the time later to look for new places to live anyway. The unknown two needed teaching in the same subject at least, works out fine.

Returning to your laptop you start typing, trying to finish as much of your lab report as you can before they show up.

“No Yeosang said she was around this corner.” 

A hushed voice breaks you out of your concentration, yet you pay no interest and hurriedly get back to typing.

“You’re __ right?” A monotone voice speaks out from your left.

You turn upon hearing your name and see a guy standing next to where you are sitting. Quickly you scan over his face, noticing the way his cheeks display small dimples as his face shifts and the slit in one of his eyebrows.

“I’m San, Minho told you about us, right?” 

Noting the way he said ‘us’, you turn fully backwards and see a noticeably built man standing by San, his face holding little to no emotion as he stares blankly towards you. In your mind, you hope these aren’t the two you are tutoring, noticing how intimidating their presence is.

“We are here for tutoring lessons,” the unnamed person speaks, and you curse upon your luck.

“Oh right, you can take a seat where you’d like.”

You mentally cuss out Minho for not informing you about how intense and handsome his classmates were, you let out a scoff under your breath as you start to pull out your maths textbooks.

“So, what were your guy's names, I’m not too good with names so if I forget, please don't take it personally,” you shyly confess, hoping they are not going to take it the wrong way. You detect the way some sort of stunned expression goes across their faces, but it disappears as soon as it had appeared.

“I’m Choi San, good to meet you.” San nods in your direction, his emotions still unreadable, a subtle glare still present along his features.

“San, I see. You too,” You mumble, slightly scared by his strong character. You attempt a small smile and shake his hand, trying to ignore the way you feel his eyes boring into your skull. Moving your attention to the man sitting next to him, you smile gently, noticing the way his cheeks are dusted with a light pink colour.

“Choi Jongho,” He reaches out his hand and you gladly take it, feeling slightly less intimidated by the seemingly kinder man.

Replying with your own name, you realise they already knew it, making you curse yourself for the sheer awkwardness emitting from your body as you notice Jongho and San are neither looking at you.

Slightly glancing up at you, San notices your flustered state and a faint smile ghosts his face.

Shaking off your clumsiness rapidly, you start to focus on the task at hand.

“So, what are you two looking to go over today?” you ask, opening your notebook that was conveniently placed in front of you. What you don’t expect is Jongho and San immediately look at each other with wide eyes, almost as if they are taken aback by the question.

“You guys don’t know what you want to go over?” 

“No, sorry, we have been having problems with our two recent algebra assignments.” Jongho replies, his tough exterior cracking ever so slightly as he ruffles his black hair. 

“Okay then,” you answer, a little puzzled at the two's sudden and strange gestures, yet you pay no mind to it as you reach into your backpack to grab your mathematics textbook. You’ve seen much stranger things in this college anyway.

When you proceed with the session you are surprised by the two men sitting in front of you. Although being very intimidating, the two are very good listeners and attentive to everything you say or do. Writing notes and nodding at almost every word you say. After an extensive explanation, you let Jongho and San try to solve a practice question. During this time, you take the time to admire the two in front of you. You can see they are extremely close by the way their bodies face each other naturally, and the way they look at each other. Meanwhile, you can’t help but wonder why you haven't seen them on campus before. Certainly, you would've heard or seen something about these two very good-looking men, knowing how much the people here like to gossip. Well after all, you have never been one for gossip and fangirling over the popular campus heartthrobs. Brushing your thoughts to the side, you start to read over the same page for the fifth time.

After the second hour, it intrigues you how smart they are, only needing you to once go over something and they already have the answer or even occasionally you swear you see one of them write an answer without you describing how to find it. Perhaps they are fast learners? Due to the fact, they are so quick, it only takes two of the three hours for you to cover everything they wished to go over, and their assignments are almost finished, just needing the final touches.

"There we go,” you exclaim, stretching your arms over your head, letting out a content groan as you let your back straighten up, "if you need future help, you can always call me." Even though it’s perhaps pretentious to offer this to such tough guys, you’re happy to be able to have such good students who actually listen. Unlike your last session which you spent way too many hours on.

Jongho looks up from his laptop with a wide eye look, "that’d be helpful," 

"Can you take my number?" San holds his hand open, expecting your phone and you are shocked at his utter forwardness. Even though you know it’s not intended in a flirtatious way, your heart quickens at the gesture, never having been asked for your number before. 

Passing your phone to the male in front of you, you notice San observing the Sanrio stickers stuck to the back of it. The male lets out a short burst of air through his nose, and you don’t know whether he’s mocking you or scoffing. As you look at him to analyse his reaction, you see a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, but it doesn’t seem in a taunting way. You continue staring at him as he puts his number into your phone.

Unexpectedly he looks up and straight into your investigating eyes, catching you by surprise, immediately looking away from him and at the open book in front of you pretending to read it, even though you know he knows you have already read over the page multiple times in the past ten minutes.

“Wait, what time is it?" Jongho asks San. Watching San pull out his phone, you see a glimpse of his phone case, it looks something like a character, but you can’t see it as he places his phone face up on the table.

"Quarter to twelve," San responds, his phone screen lighting up for a split second, you manage to catch a quick sight of his lock screen. It appears to be a group photo, with numerous faces smiling brightly at the camera. So, they have more friends.

"We have about thirty minutes till ecology, do you want to go to the canteen?" Jongho questions as he begins to put his belongings into his bag. 

"I could use a snack,” San answers, stretching back into the chair, his arms above his head just as you did earlier.

"Coming with us?" Jongho asks as he stands up from his chair and pushes it back beneath the table.

Bewildered by the question, you wonder as to why they want you to come when they have been nothing but distant this entire time. Glancing back at your unfinished lab report displayed on your laptop, you feel conflicted. Yet a break from the tedious work would be rather nice. There's no harm in pulling another all-nighter.

"I could also do with something to eat," Your smile is bright as you stuff your laptop into your bag, happy to have a reason to escape the tedious work on the small screen of your laptop. 

It is a rather fast walk to the canteen; it is conveniently on the same wing as the library. Expecting the canteen to be full to the brim of students getting lunch, you’re surprised to see the canteen completely empty. You are rather pleased with the serenity of the canteen, feeling at ease that there are no judging eyes watching your every move. Pacing over to the cooled section of food, your footsteps echo in the large room, then you notice San and Jongho trailing after you, looking quite lost. 

"Have you guys never been to the canteen before or something?" You inquire, chuckling at their antics before grabbing a carton of banana milk and an apple.

"It's not particularly our scene, we eat our meals at our place." San answers, staring down at the banana milk in your hand. So, they live together, it makes sense seeing how close they are.

“You guys don't live in student buildings?” You question, that does explain why you've never seen them around, knowing most people who reside in the student dorms. You resume walking towards a table to sit, you grab two more banana milk before sitting down and popping a straw into your drink.

"No, we live near the new park, Eastwood Drive," Jongho replies.

This information almost makes you spit out your drink. Eastwood is not only part of a huge real estate area but one of the richest areas near our school. Absolutely no students would be able to afford that. It's an area full of houses like mansions or condos bigger than a regular house.

"Are you okay?" Jongho asks, hurriedly rushing to your side and patting your back, San chuckles at the scene and passes you a bottle of water from his seat. 

"Yes, I'm fine," You say between coughs, "thank you," you take a gulp of water from the bottle before handing it back to him.

"Sorry it's just, how on earth do you afford that house there's no way you guys just have it. Did you have to sell your soul to the devil or something?" 

Both males let out soft laughs and for the first time you see something other than scowls on their faces, instead replaced by gentle amusement.

"No, we didn't, one of our roommates' mothers is the owner of the real estate and she lets us live there," San answers your question.

"We do still have to pay rent, which is above average, but it's not anything like the rent we would have to pay if we were actually living there," Jongho adds, "plus we have quite a few roommates, so it's spread out pretty evenly." So, they have multiple roommates.

"I see," you hum as you let the information in. Of course, they have several roommates, the house is big enough for ten people, most likely. 

"And you?" Jongho questions looking at you. His expression is back to his resting face, until he realises his question, eyes going wide he continues, “not in a creepy, I'm sorry please don't take it the wrong way!" he rambles on. 

Laughing out, you wave your hands in a friendly way to dismiss his thoughts.

"No no, it's okay," you chuckle, not really sure how to explain to them that your house was recently made into a fresh stock of charcoal.

“It's kind of complicated I'll be honest," you start, San and Jongho’s expressions twitch in curiosity, "Well I was living at Coast Lane," 

"Oh, the one near the shopping centre?" Jongho inquires. You nod your head back in confirmation.

"Wait but wasn't that place burnt down a few days ago?" San asks, looking at Jongho and then back at you with a worried look. Their hearts fill with worry for you.

"Yep," you say, popping the p at the end, "that's why I said I was living," you say looking down, chucking dryly.

"Where are you living now then?" San asks, his voice laced with something similar to worry. 

"I'm staying at a friend's house, but they are getting a new roommate at the end of this week, so I need to move out by then." 

"Have you found anywhere to live yet?" Jongho questions, looking sorrowful. You are surprised by the amount of worry you suddenly feel from San and Jongho. However, you shake your head as 'no' and proceed to take another sip of your drink. 

"I have an idea." San abruptly says standing up from his chair, catching your and Jongho's attention, "Excuse me I have to talk to someone, Jongho. Joong." 

Jongho's eyes light up with some sort of awareness and he also rapidly stands from his chair, leaving you even more confused, unsure where the sudden energy comes from, you also wonder who the fuck 'Joong' is and why do they need to see him so suddenly. 

"See you soon, __.” Jongho’s smile is warm and contagious, he then turns to leave with the taller man.

"Wait, guys!” You exclaim, "here," you hand them both a cartoon of banana milk that you grabbed earlier. "Drink these, you can't focus if you're dehydrated, " you say, heat rising up from your chest. 

Both of the men look at you shocked at the kind gesture, surprised someone actually cares about their well-being. Giving you a thank you, the two men leave with red subtly covering their cheeks, both trying to immediately force it away before someone sees them with a giddy expression.

 ----

"Then they just stood up and left," You replay the events from earlier today to Jisung, who is sipping on a mojito. After the busy day you both shared, Jisung and you decided to go to a bar that recently opened not too far from campus. It is small and cosy, not too full of people, mostly students from your school rewinding from the day, just like you.

"Psycho behaviour," Jisung jokes whilst you take a sip of your drink. Laughing, you push Jisung's arm gently.

"I don't know, they were certainly intimidating but I could tell they were okay people," you exclaim truthfully. If you said that the three hours you spent with the two weren't pleasant you’d be lying.

"Do you have a crush on them or something?" Jisung inquires, rather loudly, getting far too excited. Hoping that no one heard him through the low jazz music resounding in the small bar, you quieten down your best friend quickly by covering his mouth with your free hand.

"Ji the entire bar does not need to know about my personal endeavours, and no I do not have a crush on them, they are just simply cute," you say exasperated.

“So, you do find them cute! The last time you had a crush as back in high school, this is big news,”

“There is no news dumbass, they are just cute. I find kittens cute, and I don’t want to date them.”

Jisung’s face contorts into a mixture of disgust and humour.

"Wait, what are their names?" Jisung questions his voice back to a reasonable volume.

"Choi San and Choi Jongho, I've never even heard of them, to be honest. You'd think I would've seen these handsome men bef, what is with that look on your face?" you stop your ramble as you see the very obviously shocked look on Jisung's face. 

"Are you fucking serious?" Jisung says slowly.

Confused, you simply answer, "yeah they needed help with maths. it was your boyfriend who set the tutor session up."

"Yeah, because they probably threatened him?" Jisung says tensing up.

"What do you mean threatened, they were huge sweethearts," you say amused at Jisung. Your laughing momentarily halts when you see the serious look on Jisung's small face.

"What is it?" 

"___, Choi San and Choi Jongho are part of that group." 

Your baffled expression remains on your features, clearly unfazed by this information.

"What is that like a cult or something?" you joke.

"Girl, are you living under a fucking rock? Ateez, the group called Ateez. The super scary ones practically haunt this school. I'm surprised they talked to Minho. I'm pretty sure he's going to be scarred now."

Slowly but surely, your brain starts to put things into place.

"Wait, that group Sola told us about?”

As Jisung confirms your question, you feel the hairs on the back of your neck rise. A few months ago, you had been told by some classmates about them briefly, they were talking rather loudly about them. Apparently, they had done some terrible things when they were in high school then just disappeared for a few years. Most people thought they dropped out or moved abroad. The year they returned, they started this university out of nowhere together and have been a notorious group ever since, being known for staying foul and bitter towards everyone except themselves. Yet, nobody seems to know the reason for their ice-cold hearts. You never really bothered to keep up with the rumours or gossip, it wasn’t necessary for you to know, however you start to think maybe you should pay more attention due to your recent interaction with two of the people in the group.

"But they were nice?" your question, more to yourself than to Jisung.

"I don't know about you, but you probably got the wrong people." 

You don't believe Jisung is lying but at the same time… The two men you had tutored earlier today were definitely not members of the notorious group. 

Surely not. 

Yes, they were intimidating, but nowhere near as bad as anything people say about them. From what you've heard about the group, they are cold, heartless, selfish, and miserable. Staying only in the group of eight, others not even daring to look them in the eyes as they pass them.

"If they were the people that you were tutoring yesterday, you may have gotten yourself into something you can't get out of. They have hundreds of fangirls, who are very possessive over them and people who want them dead. I don’t know of a single person who is fond of them. It’s best if you stay far away from them." Jisung says with a nervous expression. 

Unexpectedly, his phone lights up and you see Minho's caller ID appear. Jisung glances back up at you with a questioning look, requesting if he can take it.

"Go ahead," you push your smile and watch as he leaves to find a quiet place.

Your heart beats heavily against your chest and you feel your throat tighten. ‘Come on’ you think, this isn't the best place for you to have an anxiety attack. Possibly, it's that the new information is far too overwhelming. You are barely keeping up with your classes, your apartment just burnt down, and now you’re somewhat engaged with an apparently dangerous group that has no good stories. Feeling your breathing getting jagged and your heart getting heavier by the second, you attempt to focus on your breathing. Trying to remember the breathing exercises your mother taught you when you were younger, you attempt breathing in deeply, but it doesn't work, leaving you to breathe in and out in a fast manner. It's okay, it's okay. You repeat yourself, in an attempt to comfort yourself, but your brain is yelling 'it's not okay, look how stupid you've been and got yourself into a senseless situation again. Fucking idiot'. You put your head in your hands and start gently rocking on the barstool, tears threatening to fall out of your eyes. Unexpectedly, a presence appears next to you and before you know it, their warm hand is rubbing up and down your back in a soothing manner. 

"Shh it's okay, it's all going to be okay." a deep voice speaks from your right. You don't care to look up, only basking in the way the figure's hand caresses your back in a comforting way. To your surprise, it works miracles. Your breathing is back to a reasonable state within the next minute. Only then do you look up from your hands, your eyes lock with a beautiful man. He wears a comforting smile, his eyes full of sympathy and something else you can't quite put your finger on, his hand not slowing on your back. Trying to smile back at him, you wipe the tears you didn't even know had fallen, with the sleeves of your sweatshirt before regaining the words to speak.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," you say, abruptly embarrassed that a very handsome man just had to see a small breakdown of yours. 

"It's perfectly okay. I've had enough anxiety attacks to know you can't control where you have them." the man admits, scratching the back of his neck with an awkward smile on his face. The voice of the man is deep, yet soft, making you feel awfully relaxed.

"You have anxiety?" you ask, sniffling your nose.

The man chuckles and looks down at his hands, "longer than I can remember, yeah," he looks back up at you, "rubbing my back is how my friends comfort me, so I hope it somewhat worked for you too." 

"It worked amazingly, it's actually how my mother used to comfort me," you express, still slightly ashamed to be sharing this information with a stranger, let alone such a good-looking one. Yet knowing he goes through the same things as you, comforts you more than you realise. The male looks around him, almost as if he’s worried someone will see him, he then looks back down to your smaller figure which is closer to him than he remembered. Clearing his throat, he steps away a little bit, concerned you would feel uncomfortable with the closeness of your bodies. 

“I do need to go now, but it was nice to meet you," The man says whilst leaving the barstool to your right. Not sure why, but you feel sad that he has to leave so soon. Feeling so relaxed around a stranger has you shocked, wishing you could stay with this unknown feeling.

"Thank you," you say, grateful to have him there for you.

"Anytime.”

"I’ll see you around." You return his smile.

Nodding his head, he gives one last smile before departing the bar's exit, a growing smile adorning his features as he exits the bar.

“Hey I’m back.”

Whipping your head to the left, you see Jisung sitting back in his stool. Opening your mouth to tell him about what just happened, you attempt to get the words out but for some reason, you are unable to find the words. Not wanting to worry your best friend with your sudden onset anxiety attack, you decide to stay quiet.

What are these unexplainable encounters you've been having with handsome men recently?

----

Climbing over bags and coats, you find a seat in a calmer area of the stadium you just arrived at. Spotting Minho in the field doing some warm-ups with his team, you feel relaxed to see someone you know. When he sees you, he waves happily. Smiling, you reach for your phone to quickly text Jisung asking where he is. All of a sudden, a rush of cold air gets swept in by the wind, causing you to freeze up. Never liking the cold, you debate heavily at this moment whether you should just leave. However, you travelled all the way from Yeji’s to here in the cold. It seems like a waste to just go back, even if it freezes you to death to stay. After all, you need to support Minho, him being one of your only friends, for the football game. Jisung is supposed to be joining you but you’re sure he's busy picking out a cute outfit to swoon Minho. 

Over the past few days Jisung has been trying to teach you the names of Ateez so you know to run if they approach you. Seemingly stupid, but you do need fewer distractions in the hope to graduate with honours. From what Jisung has told you, there are eight members, and they are all of similar age, the youngest being in the same classes as he managed to skip a year due to him exceeding the level of people his age. However, Jisung teaching you their names doesn’t really stick to you, never being good at names it doesn’t help that you don’t know what they look like. It would be much easier learning their names if you actually had photos so you can put a name to a face, but of course they don’t have Instagram accounts, and if they saw people taking photos of them, they’d likely murder you on the spot. Or that’s what Jisung says.

You are suddenly brought out of your thoughts when a voice sounds in your ears.

“Could I sit here?” a soft, yet deep captivating voice speaks out. 

Curiously, you look to your left to see who the owner of the voice is. Surprisingly, you see a blonde male with a mask covering his face. He is standing next to the seat where you have placed your bag, and you realise he is asking for the seat.

“Oh yes, of course, sorry,” you hurriedly grab your bag and place it between your legs, allowing the male to take a place next to you.

“Thank you,” he says, a very small smile on his lips. When he sits down, he takes off his mask, and you glance at him one more time, taking in his visuals. With his fluffy hair and red tinted cheeks and a small mark of pink next to one of his eyes, he is truly a work of art. Yet, for some reason, you can't help but feel like you've seen him before.

“I'm sorry have I met you before, you seem really familiar?” you ask inquisitively, not being able to match a name to a face.

“We may have run into each other once or twice,” the blonde male puts his hand out for a handshake.

Gladly taking his hand in yours, you shake with a small smile on your face.

“It is a small world, I'm __.” 

The male takes his hand away and back into his coat pocket, shivering in the icy air.

“Are you Jisung's girlfriend?” he questions.

Rolling your eyes, slightly annoyed at the question, you go to answer. It has been thousands of times that people have asked about your and Jisung's relationship, mistaking you for a couple and not just a couple of friends. After a while it gets rather irritating, the question being asked countless amounts of times.

"No, we aren't, we are just best friends, I'm pretty sure Jisung came out as gay like two years ago. Plus, he's literally dating the quarterback, Lee Minho." you chuckle slightly.

"Oh sorry! I didn't mean to offend you in any way." 

"No! It's really okay, it's just I get asked a lot, so it becomes annoying after a while. I mean look at Jisung, he has baby girl written all over him." 

“Cold?” he questions.

The blondie next to you lets out a small chuckle acknowledging the man you are always with isn’t your boyfriend.

Sensing a gaze on you, you turn back to the blonde male whose eyes are looking at the goosebumps on your exposed arms.

“I probably should’ve brought at least a jumper. I've been so wrapped up with exams and tutoring I’ve been forgetting everything,” you say, laughing slightly, embarrassed that you went outside wearing just a t-shirt in the middle of November.

The male lets out a laugh before speaking, “it’s okay, I understand. If I’m being honest, I've also been having so much struggle with studying, my stress is all over the place.” He wonders for a second why he even shared this with you, concerned for a second you will see him in a bad light.

“I'm sorry to hear that.” you contemplate for a moment, “Look I have these if you want,” reaching into your pocket, you grab some rescue drops. “These help me a lot,”

You place the small bottle in his hand, and a giant smile covers his face. “What? I’ve actually been looking for these everywhere and I can never find them! They’ve been sold out in every shop.” Blondie looks back up at you, “but you have anxiety you need these more than me,” 

Pausing for a second, you wonder how he knows you have anxiety, nonetheless, you continue “It’s perfectly fine, Jisung’s parents work at a pharmacy back in my hometown and they send me a few of these whenever they are in stock, you can keep them.” you inform him, his smile brightening your cold mood shockingly fast. You’re not even sure why you gave him them, it was your last bottle. You guess that’s what happens when you are a people pleaser. The smile on the male’s face only grows wider, his heart jumping at your kind action.

“Thank you so much __,”

“It’s no worries, if you ever need some more, look for the loud group of small guys acting like four-year-olds.” you laugh, and he chuckles along with you, making a mental note, even though he knows he will likely never approach the group.

Before you can focus back on the starting game, you feel a soft material cover your shivering body. It is a large zip-up that smells of rich, sweet perfume. Turning quickly to the blonde guy with confusion covering your features, you hurriedly dismiss the action, seeing his arms exposed to the winter air.

“I can’t take this; you’ll get too cold.” you stop your words as he pulls out another sweater from his bag. 

“I've got my friend’s sweater, you keep mine until you’re warm.” he turns to face the game, "or until Jisung sees and freaks out and tells everyone you have a secret boyfriend." he jokes.

“You seem to know Jisung?” you ask, wondering how he knows Jisung’s personality quite well.

“Well, we know each other, but we aren’t particularly friends,” blondie turns fully towards you, “are you sure you don’t know me at all?”

“I'm sorry but I really only have like two friends, I don't really go out.” 

“But Jisung is super popular, aren't you in his huge partying friend group?”

“Not really, his friends are lovely but I’m only close with him and his boyfriend, I'm not too good at making friends.” you quietly mumble the last part. You look over at the blondie and see he has slight confusion on his face.

“You are so kind, I’m sure anyone would want to be your friend." 

"You’d be the first to think that" you dryly admit, which causes the male to feel a twinge of pain and guilt in his heart, "I would rather stay inside all-day binge-watching television whilst eating away my stress,"

"Well, that’s one thing we have in common." 

Sharing a warm smile with him, you start to get lost in your thoughts again, but then you realise a question you never returned.

“I’m so sorry I never got your name.”

“No worries, I’m Yeosang.” he has the same smile on his face, making you feel warm despite the bitter winter air. Then his familiarity dawns on you.

“Kang?” you inquire, your voice rising ever so slightly.

“That’s me,” he smiles at me, and you don't know if your heart rises because of how beautiful his smile is or because you recognise the name from Jisung’s teaching session with the members of Ateez.

“Like from Ateez,” you question, watching your words, if Ateez is as bad as Jisung is saying then you definitely need to watch your words.

Yeosang turns to you, almost looking baffled.

“I thought you didn't know about Ateez?” he questions, shocked.

“What made you think that?”

“Just a guess I suppose, being that you don't really go out I assumed you weren’t really interested in the groups and stuff.” 

“Ah well not particularly, but recently I suppose I’ve gotten to know about it better.”

“You're not scared, are you?” you see Yeosang tense up a little, his eyebrows furrowed. He hopes for the best, not knowing how you will react. Surprisingly, your heart softens at this question, he seems upset for some reason, as if he doesn't want to be seen this way. You feel bad for ever acting stressed towards him.

“Don't worry, the only person that scares me is Jisung when he's hungry.” you joke out, relaxing the tension and calming him. From what you can see, Yeosang is just kind and calm. The only thing that's menacing about him is the fact he’s drop-dead gorgeous.

Yeosang lets out a small chuckle, “well I guess now I know I need to avoid Jisung if he’s hungry,”

You agree with the blonde man, whilst lightly laughing.

“Wait, but why are you watching? Aren’t you supposed to be on the pitch?” You ask him, confused, remembering Jisung informing you that Yeosang is a part of one of the school's football teams, along with someone else whose name you can’t remember at the moment. For a moment Yeosang’s chest fills with pride, knowing you know something about him.

“Someone is taking my spot today, I was told to analyse the opposing team to find out their habits and stuff, hence the notepad.”

Looking down, you notice the small notepad with doodles all over the cover, making your heart swell. Yeosang continues to talk,

“Don’t tell my tactics to Minho,” he jokes with a grin on his face, knowing Minho is on the other team.

“I would never betray you like that,” you place your hand over your chest acting offended. 

Both cracking up, you speak up again, “don't worry, your secrets are safe with me.”

“Sang!” You hear a voice call from the left, and your eyes lay on another attractive man, “Coach told us to sit with him,” this male also has a notepad in his grip. 

You know this guy. He works in a small café not too far from campus, it is down a narrow alleyway, covered by vines and moss. It was a very hidden spot and only locals really knew the place. Only knowing it because you walked past it every day for a year as the alleyway was a shortcut to your housing from the campus. Barely anyone goes there, the regulars being either old women or businesspeople quickly rushing in to get a coffee before work starts. Back at the beginning of the semester, you used to go to the café a lot because of the raspberry muffins, yet they stopped selling them thus forth you stopped going as much. It was also due to the fact you had barely any time to sleep, so you cut it out of your morning schedule to be able to sleep in a little. You think the guy’s name was Wooyoung if you can remember his name tag correctly. You notice he sees you sitting next to Yeosang, with his friend’s hoodie over your shoulders and a smile consumes his entire face. 

“Muffin?” he looks confused, yet somewhat glad to see you once again. The nickname extremely takes you aback. “Why did you stop coming to the café?”

As far as you can recall, back when you visited the café, this server was rather distant and limited to saying little to no words whilst waiting. Seeing him like this confuses you severely. Alas, you let out a giggle and both of the boys' grins widen visibly.

“You two better get going, I'm not sure your coach wants to wait any longer.” 

Yeosang stands up and straightens out his pants before turning to you,

“Hopefully I’ll see you around.” he smiles warmly. Smiling back at him, you nod. Yeosang starts to leave with Wooyoung before he turns around.

“I better see you at the café tomorrow! Plus, that sweater looks good on you, Muffin.” he winks and Yeosang slaps the back of his head.  You can’t help but giggle yet feel flustered. 

Yeosang and Wooyoung walk towards the coach’s section, Yeosang slightly more affected than the male next to him. Hopefully he will get his hoodie back, and hopefully it will smell like you. After this interaction, your mind was even more confused. If you remember correctly, Yeosang and Wooyoung have a very big reputation for being some of the rudest and coldest towards people. Yet they were so friendly when you were with them. Is everything all these people are saying about them true or maybe the group of eight is just deeply misunderstood?

Whatever it is, you need to talk to Jisung about this, but you will wait until the game is over.

----

The night of the interaction between Yeosang and Wooyoung, Jisung, Minho and you reside at their apartment, eating chicken and watching a shitty romcom for background noise. The rest of his roommates are out celebrating the start of the football season. You have no idea why it started mid-way through November but okay.

“I said I would come; they were too sweet to say no to!” You exclaim, throwing your head back against the couch, regretting saying yes. 

“It was definitely Yeosang and Wooyoung?” Minho questions, not believing any part of my story.

“Yes! Yeosang has the birthmark next to his eye like Ji described and Wooyoung was the guy who works at that one café I used to go to all the time,”

“Well, I never knew Wooyoung worked at a café, that doesn't really match the hardcore scary image they are going for, are you sure you’re not going delusional?” Jisung admits, chuckling.

“What are you going to do?” Minho questions, passing you a drumstick. 

You take a big bite, before speaking, “I should just go, if I don't show up, they might murder me as you two say. Which is very unbelievable seeing how fucking cheerful they’ve all been.”

“Well, you’ve only met four, the rest are probably a nightmare,” Jisung says, his mouth full of chicken, Minho humming in agreement next to him.

“You two are supposed to be comforting me.” you groan, throwing your head into your hands. 

“Okay, don't worry __, if they have been as nice as you’ve been saying then just show up and if they aren't nice then call Chan and Changbin and I’m sure they will gladly sort them out for you.” Minho laughs.

 ----

Keeping your promise, you showed up at the café the next day. 

Opening the painted door, the bell rings notifying your entrance. Immediately you spot Wooyoung relaxing against the counter, scrolling through his phone, visibly bored. There are only a few people in the café, mostly reading books or typing on laptops. You see a flash of pink hair in the corner, yet you lose focus as quickly as you had it as you continue to walk further in.

“Welcome to Veranda Café,” Wooyoung says unbothered, still staring at his phone as you walk closer to where all the cakes were on display. Much to your dismay, you fail to see a raspberry muffin on display.

“I see you still don’t have any raspberry muffins.” You speak out in front of where Wooyoung is standing, making his head immediately snap up.

“__! I was starting to worry you weren't going to show up.” He exclaims, a contagious smile wide on his face. Immediately putting his phone in his pocket, giving his attention to you. He leans on the counter. Extremely happy you showed up.

“I never break my promises,” you grin at the black-haired man.

“Oh, one moment.” He speaks out excitedly, like a puppy, and turns to where he was sitting. Opening up a small fridge, he brings out the biggest, most beautiful raspberry muffin you have ever seen.

“Yeosang and I made this morning for you.” he gestures over to the corner, and you see the blonde male from yesterday, he is sitting next to someone, yet you can’t see them from where you’re standing. Yeosang shyly waves and you smile and wave back. Heart beating faster and cheeks warming up, you take the muffin happily. Wooyoung smiles brightly at you, feeling prideful at the way your eyes light up from the muffin.

“We stopped making these muffins because the owner didn’t think anyone was buying them, it made me upset because I knew you liked them,” Wooyoung says, making direct eye contact with you, making you weak at the knees. Wondering how he even remembered you, you still feel thankful he thought of you, even if it was a long time ago.

“It’s a shame but I'm sure there are lots of other tasty things here too. Anyways, thank you so much, you guys are the best.” you say, sincerity dripping in your words. Wooyoung just shrugs like he doesn't care, but the big smile on his face and the redness dusting his ears tells a different story.

“How much do I owe you?” you ask, getting out your purse.

Swiftly, Wooyoung grabs your hand halting its actions, “it’s on us, for being so kind, Yeosang and one of our friends really needed those rescue drops.” He lowers his voice, “between us, their anxiety has been really bad recently, and the stuff works wonders. Plus, you were always my favourite customer anyways.” Wooyoung admits, smiling, his cheeks get a deeper colour of red. Your heart warms up once again, which is strange to you. You haven't felt this happiness in a very long time. Maybe things are starting to get better. Happily taking the muffin, you make your way to Yeosang who is reading a book.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” you inquire, repeating his words from yesterday, yet when your eyes meet the figure sitting next to him, they light up as you recognise him.

“I know you!” You exclaim, a little too loudly, causing people around you to glare in your direction. Feeling overwhelmed by the sudden attention, you quickly sit down in a shielded area, away from all the glares. 

“You two know each other?” Yeosang asks, intrigued by your sudden remark.

“It is you, right?” you ask just in case you’re mistaking him for another pink-haired male.

The tall male smiles widely, “Yeah, it’s me. I’m Mingi,” he turns to Yeosang, who is visibly confused, “we met briefly in a bar the other day,” 

Yeosang lets out an ‘ah’ in realisation, yet you fail to see the jealous look he points at the pink haired man as he turns back to his book. Reaching for a dessert fork placed in the middle of the table, Mingi quickly grabs it and hands it to you. Quietly thanking him, you start to cut your muffin into four pieces. You acknowledge a gaze on you, so you halt your movements and look up, noticing Yeosang and Mingi’s eyes on you. Suddenly feeling awfully small, you start to feel your heartbeat rise and your breath deepen, never really liking people watching you eat, the stares from the two make you anxious. Luckily, they seem to immediately notice your change in behaviour and start apologising.

“I’m sorry, we will look away. We were just wondering whether you were going to like the muffin,” Mingi explains, his voice stumbling over words.

“It’s okay! I’m sorry, I’ve always been kind of awkward when people watch me eat.” you confess, your cheeks heating up. The two males nod trying to remember this information for the future. Instantly, the two men completely look away and focus on their own things, not paying any attention to you. Their antics make you giggle slightly, and you look back down at your muffin. Slowly, you pick up a quarter and place it on Mingi’s empty plate in front of him. You then do the same for Yeosang. They both look up at you with wide eyes.

“This is your favourite, we can't take it,” Yeosang says hurriedly, trying to put the cake back on your plate. 

“Stop, stop! I want to. I want to share it with my friends!” You blurt out before you can control your mouth. The wide eyes on both Yeosang and Mingi, make you realise what you said. You have to remember that even though they seem normal they are very clearly part of a group who apparently can kill people with their stare. What the hell are you doing? Of course, they aren’t your friends, you met them both once for less than ten minutes.

“Wait, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to say that I didn't intend to push your boundaries, we have only met like twice I didn't just assume we are friends!” You start to ramble, scared they will take it the wrong way, trying to fix your words as quickly as possible so you don’t get on their bad sides.

Before you can say anything more, Yeosang cuts you off by taking a bite of the muffin, “it tastes amazing! Thank you,”

“Woo!” Mingi’s voice calls out, ignoring the angry glares of people around him, “come get some cake!” Watching Wooyoung jump over the counter towards the three of you, you smile to yourself, glad you haven't done something that would cause future problems. Yeosang feeds Wooyoung the cake and makes an over-exaggerated reaction, “the flavours are melting on my tongue!” he exclaims in a funny voice, making Yeosang and Mingi cringe but you just laugh at his amusing antics. You can’t help but imagine how the whole group is when they are together. 

For the remainder of the hour, you are just conversing with Wooyoung and Mingi, sometimes Yeosang if he wants to add to the conversation, but more focusing on his book, yet looking up intently whenever you speak. You are broken out of your conversation as you hear the bell of the entrance ring, notifying the entrance of new customers. Wooyoung groans and stands up from his chair next to you. It seems to be three girls from our school. You recognise one of them from your calculus class.

Then the next thing that happens confuses you more than any other thing that has happened. As Wooyoung reaches the counter to take their order, his demeanour changes almost immediately, you would've missed it if you had blinked. 

Mingi and Yeosang seem to notice your confusion but blatantly ignore it, their smiles quickly disappearing from their faces. The atmosphere turns from warm and friendly to cold and foreign.

“What do you want?” Wooyoung asks bluntly. You furrow your eyebrows, confused out of your mind as to where the sweet friendly Wooyoung disappeared to.

“You know you should be nicer to your customers, it would help with business,” one of the girls speaks out, looking smug as if she has immensely hurt the man’s feelings.

“You should probably focus on your studies rather than going to cafes, sitting with a random document open and pretending to study when we all know you are miserably failing all your classes.” Wooyoung says monotone, whilst scrolling through his phone, not even looking at the three girls who now have shocked and offended looks on their faces. Some curses are thrown before the girls end up storming out of the café without even beginning to look at the menu. As soon as the girls leave, Wooyoung returns to the table nonchalantly, acting as if nothing had happened. Opening your mouth to say something, it gets caught in your throat before you get the words out.

Are you going insane?

{feedback is always appreciated and i love hearing from all of you. remember you are loved.} 

part two is out now!!!

[neptuneiris]

could you pretend to be in love? (02/10)

The Contract

pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)

summary: there is no turning back now and now you and Aemond set the rules and conditions to start the whole farce.

word count: 4.6k

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!🥳

I thought this would be a very nice way to wish happy new year to all of you beautiful people who support me and like what I write, you don't know how much that means to me🥺

thank you for so much support and for so much love, I have loved being here and I definitely plan to stay for longer, seeing how that love evolves and my place here as a writer🥰 so enjoy a lot this new chapter that I really hope you like it a lot❤

many blessings to all of you, my best wishes for your lives in this 2024, I love you all so much!😊❤

enjoy!

It's the first thing you see after turning off the alarm and you curiously enter to read the recent messages from an unknown number, not having the slightest idea of who it might be.

But you let out a long sigh of frustration when you read them and see that it's Aemond, who you don't understand how the fuck he got your number. Of course, it shouldn't have been hard for him, just a few questions and anyone can tell him what he wants to know.

And knowing that you have a long day ahead of you today, you already feel the pressure all over your body when you haven't even left your bed, where you also feel the frustration and all this uncertainty that you thought you had already overcome, but no.

You barely accepted yesterday and suddenly putting the plan into action from one day to the next, it's too much. But without really having a choice, you reluctantly force yourself to get up and start getting ready.

After an hour, you leave your house with the nagging feeling of carrying a weight on your shoulders to school. And all the way there, not even the music in your ears can make your mind calm down for a moment.

Knowing very soon that your whole social life will be a mess and you will no longer be invisible, since after all Aemond was right in that respect, causes you even more uneasiness and also nervousness because you are going to pretend to be the girlfriend of the most popular guy in school.

And once the bus makes its stop, you soon enter the halls of the bustling school. And knowing that a certain silver-haired guy is waiting for you right now, every heavy step you take towards the schoolyard echoes loudly in your ears, increasing your nervousness and anxiety.

You're even tempted to back up and tell him to forget it, but you resist and keep moving forward.

As you walk through the huge doors of the backyard, it's only a matter of time before you make out the figure of Aemond sitting at the same table as yesterday in the distance. Your heart skips a beat and you feel more nervous, but gathering your courage and taking a long breath, you advance towards him, ready but with uncertain steps.

Every step seems heavy, as if you are walking into the unknown and you try to hide the nerves in your gaze, especially when Aemond notices your presence. He watches you and slowly turns to you, a subtle smile on his lips.

Again there is that feeling of telling him to forget it, to find someone else, that you can't do this. But... your mind stops you and screams at you not to be silly, that at the end of it all there will be a reward, a very good reward that getting it by faking a relationship with him, is nothing.

And it's definitely worth it.

So resigned, you reach out to him.

"Hey," he says to you without wiping off his little smile, as you take a seat in front of him and he waits for you to finish settling in, "So you've come."

"Don't bother me," you tell him without humor, definitely contrasting his mood to yours.

"Now what did I do?"

"That," you point to his face, "You're enjoying this, seeing that I haven't backed out."

"Oh, please, I actually thought you wouldn't come and tell me to fuck off after you thought better of it," he justifies himself.

"Yeah? Well, nothing a free admission to your dream college won't do," you say with a slightly sarcastic tone, though implicitly admitting your reasons, "And it's actually not like I like skipping classes, so could we get this started?"

Aemond exhales long, averting his gaze from yours for a moment before returning to watching you.

"You know you'll have to be charming and act like you're completely in love with me in public, right?" he poses, expectantly.

"Yes, I know... in public," you point out to him, "Just now no one knows we're 'dating' genius," you add, underlining the falsity of the situation.

He places a small, amused, smirk on his lips.

"Yet."

He adds with a slightly defiant tone and you roll your eyes.

"Don't get too excited either."

"Are you not?"

"Oh yeah, I can't handle the excitement," you feign in a high-pitched, ironic voice, making exaggerated hand gestures.

Aemond lets out a short but genuine laugh at your gesture. He leans back slightly, his eye revealing a mischievous glint as he watches you.

"Glad to see you're keeping your sense of humor in this," he says with his tone changing slightly to a more relaxed one.

"I don't have much choice, do I?" you reply, accepting his change of mood, but still maintaining a certain emotional distance.

You figure it's just a matter of the two of you getting more into trust, and if you're going to do this with him, you're definitely going to do your part. But for now, this is still a little awkward and unexpected. And the sooner you do this, the better it will be for you.

So you shift your focus and lean forward slightly with a more serious expression on your face.

"So let's get started?"

"Well, making a contract will take up a lot of our time, so I thought it would be easier to just say and agree between us-

"It will be easier this way, to write down and establish the rules and the conditions we want to do during all this, just to have everything clear and not miss anything, Aemond," you interrupt him, taking out a notebook and a pen to start writing.

"Okay, fine," he says, shrugging his shoulders.

"So?" you watch him expectantly with the blank sheet of paper in front of you and your pen in hand, "What do you suggest first?"

"Well... first we need to know when this will all end," he begins to say, adopting a relaxed but firm stance, "And I would say that it may end when it is no longer necessary for both of you to continue pretending. But I think it's a better idea for us to last until graduation."

He proposes, looking at you intently, waiting for your reaction and you can't help but be a little surprised to hear that.

"Until graduation?" you repeat and he nods, "But you really want to do this for almost five months?"

"I know it's a long time, but that time can be beneficial for both of us," he explains, "That's enough time to give our relationship credibility and authenticity and it's also enough time to handle any problems that arise."

He says and you nod cautiously, evaluating his words.

"But if you disagree, tell me," he hurries to say.

His calm tone and your reasons contrast with the uncertainty and indecision you feel. And the two of you have barely started.

Five months is such a compromising situation and it generates some concern, because you know you will face so many things you still have no idea about and every day it could become more complicated to maintain the farce.

"I guess it's okay," you cautiously admit, trying to see the big picture, "But I feel like it's still a long time. But also reducing that time might not be enough," you agree.

"Yes but I'm sure we can handle it. And don't worry, if at some point we feel it's too much or we don't have enough reason to keep pretending anymore, we can talk iand end it."

You remain pondering, considering his words and after a few seconds you nod in agreement, and write it down as the first point on the sheet. But this alone is the first piece of a much more complicated puzzle.

1. Duration of relationship: Until graduation.

And Aemond also brings up the next point of the contract, expressing his ideas with quiet but evident assurance.

"Now, second..." he begins, "As for behavior in public, we should genuinely show affection in the hallways, cafeteria, and at any school activity and event. In a relationship people don't take their hands off each other, so we should smile at each other, hug each other, make subtle gestures, hold hands-

"Don't say kissing, please," you interrupt him, pleading, taking him by surprise.

"Of course, Y/N," he tells you instantly, incredulous, "Obviously we'll have to kiss."

As if having to act completely in love with him and be every moment touching him isn't enough. But the idea of kissing seems a bit much to you.

"I agree about showing affection and all that, but that kissing thing might be awkward and... weird," you say, trying to be sincere but not seeming completely closed off to the idea.

Aemond looks at you incredulously.

"So you don't want us to kiss?"

"I don't think it's necessary, honestly."

"Are you crazy? How are we supposed to pretend if we're not going to kiss? No one's going to believe us if we don't kiss and that's what will literally make the whole relationship believable," he insists, visibly concerned.

"Yeah, I get that it might seem necessary, but...at least I don't want to be having to kiss you every single time."

"You don't want to kiss me?" he asks you, visibly surprised, confused and... maybe a little hurt?

You watch him silently for a moment not understanding his reaction and then watch him with a small amused smile.

"I'm not one of your fans, Targaryen."

"Oh come on, everyone wants to kiss me," he says confused and incredulous, proving his point.

"Even the guys?"

"Well... yeah, I don't know, maybe some of them," he says with a shrug.

"Seven Hells," you mutter, averting your gaze for a moment, "I-I really don't want to do that," you say, speaking seriously and then you let out a sigh, "But you're right that no one's going to believe us-

"Obviously. I always have," he is quick to say.

"So my proposal is this... we'll kiss, yes, but only when it's extremely necessary, and when I say extremely necessary I mean extremely necessary."

You watch him intently, keeping yourself willing with your proposal, waiting for his opinion, which judging by his face, he doesn't quite agree with.

"And what would those extremely necessary moments be exactly?" he inquires, attentive and interested, also still looking slightly worried.

"In the cafeteria or in the hallways when everyone is obviously looking at us and we're attracting attention. Just don't abuse it."

Aemond lets out a long breath.

"Well, let's limit them to extremely necessary moments," he finally says resignedly and you quickly note the second point.

2. Behavior in public: Show affection as genuinely as possible in public, such as gestures, hugs, and holding hands. KISSING ONLY WHEN EXTREMELY NECESSARY.

"But then that second point is also going to apply to the parties you'll be going to with me and my lacrosse games you'll be going to."

You quickly raise your gaze to him.

"What?"

"Yes," he nods, "Going to the parties together will also lend credibility to the relationship and obviously we have to be very close to each other. And it's the same in my games, you must go to support and encourage me, like any girlfriend in love with her boyfriend would."

Aemond's words provoke an instant reaction in you, that confusing you and taking you by surprise.

"But I don't go to parties."

"Now you will," he says with a calm expression, reaching out his hand and taking the pen and your notebook.

"But-

He is already writing in a section further down the sheet which he lists as; 'additional conditions'.

Parties.

Lacrosse games.

"Aemond, I'm not a big fan of parties, really," you insist, "You'll have a bad time if you take me with you and I'll probably ruin everything."

"Don't worry, I'll teach you the trick to having a good time and change that mentality you have. Besides I won't take you to every party, just a few," he assures you, "All while keeping up appearances," he hands you back your notebook and pen, "With me you'll never get bored, I promise," he says with a small smile on his lips.

You let out a sigh, placing the notebook back in front of you, still undecided.

"Yes? Well, we'll see about that. I warned you though."

He lets out a soft little laugh.

"Come on Y/N, you can't be that bad."

"I assure you I can be."

"And so what do you do for fun?" he asks you, keeping his smile, curiosity evident in his gaze.

And there it is, the question that totally describes your personality and that in fact you don't like to answer to just anyone, because then they call you boring. But you can't lie to Aemond, he is astute enough and would notice.

So you decide to be honest.

"I like to read," you reply, lowering your gaze and feeling slightly embarrassed, "And I love going to the movies or watching movies and shows at home, either one is totally fine with me. Oh... and... hm... I also like ice skating, although I don't do that as often but... it's something I like too."

And even though it's only a bit of the world of things you like, Aemond listens to you attentively with a soft expression, saying nothing afterwards, as if he's processing every word you've said, while you only feel more embarrassed by the silence.

You know there's nothing wrong with it but it always made you insecure to share your hobbies, mostly because you know that many girls your age enjoy their teenage years going out with friends to parties and getting drunk.

That didn't and doesn't appeal to you now. You have long been more comfortable with the idea of staying home or going out somewhere else instead of going to parties.

It's not as if you don't attend or avoid every social event, yes you can attend and have a good time depending on who you are with and where, but not as often as every weekend.

However, you understand and recognize the logic behind Aemond's suggestion and that is that attending parties, is essential. And just as he is about to finally speak, you do so first.

"I know they are simple things and are not very exciting for most people. I also know they can be very boring but for me... that's what I like," you shyly confess.

"Hm," he says, taking a small moment, watching you softly, only causing you even more embarrassment, "Well, that's not what I was going to say," he says, catching your attention, "Sometimes it is the simple things that mean the most to everyone and, being honest... I find them interesting," he adds, trying to evaporate any awkwardness and embarrassment you might feel.

You raise your gaze, meeting his bright blue eye watching you softly and with his gaze full of genuine understanding, along with that hint of curiosity. And that gets your attention too.

He's not judging you. And even though it's not something he would do or at least hasn't tried to do yet, he's not judging you for it and you see that genuine interest in his gaze.

"Tell you what, for every party you go to with me, I'll read one of your favorite books or a movie or shows you want me to watch," he says, picking up the notebook and pen again.

"What?" you look at him confused, unable to help but smile in bewilderment, "Are you serious?"

"You must set your own conditions too," he states as he writes, "I already dragged you into my world, so now you're dragging me into yours," he looks up at you, "What do you think? Is it a fair exchange or not?"

His proposal takes you by surprise and also confuses you a little, however, the small smile remains on your face.

The genuine expression of openness on his face and the determination with which he wrote definitely makes you feel more comfortable. His willingness to immerse himself in your interests was not something you had agreed upon from the beginning, nor is it something extremely necessary to fake a relationship.

But it's for the simple reason that you both feel comfortable if you're going to pretend for almost five months and it seems like a nice gesture from him to include it, something you honestly didn't expect from him.

And when he gives you back your notebook, you see the new rule under 'additional conditions'.

For every party Y/N goes to with me, I will read a book or watch one of her favorite movies or shows.

"Yes," you nod, "Sounds like a fair deal to me."

Aemond smiles, pleased with your answer and also seeing the expression on your face.

"Great. We'll see if I discover something new I like. And you too..." he points at you with his index finger, "You won't regret it after you have a great time at my parties," he says enthusiastically, with a sort of complicity in his tone.

"Well, we'll see if you manage to impress me."

And right there, the two of you exchange complicit glances, Aemond having that little smile on his lips while you don't understand this strange new alliance the two of you are building.

But even though you didn't expect it, it's definitely to your liking.

"Now, third..." you point to the notebook with your pen, "Reinforcing the second rule, public appearance," you say, observing him, "We must act as a committed and attentive couple to each other at school and to these parties you want us to go to."

Aemond nods determinedly, thoughtfully.

"Yes, commitment at all times," he states seriously.

"So, that also means that neither of us can be with other people for the duration of all this, not even secretly," you add, making the point clear.

"And you want to write that as a rule too? It's obvious that neither of us should-

"I'll write it as the fourth rule, just to be clear about everything as I told you."

"Oh, fine."

3. Public appearance: Act like a real couple in love, be committed and attentive to each other at school and social events.

4. No involvement with other girls/guys: No casual encounters or texting with anyone else for the duration of the fake relationship.

"Oh and also..." says Aemond, reminding, "Since we're at that point, on additional conditions write that we should both upload photos and videos together on our social media. It's another way to lend credibility to our relationship."

"Photos and videos together on our social media," you repeat, looking at the notebook.

And this catches Aemond's attention.

"Don't tell me you don't use your social media," he says beginning to sound alert and concerned.

"No, no, I-I mean, yes," you hasten to say, "It's just... I don't know, I most likely don't use them as often as you do, besided I have very few followers."

"Don't worry, whatever followers you have are fine. Besides, I'm sure they'll increase when I upload my first photo with you."

You roll your eyes with an amused smile.

"Okay, Mr. Popularity."

"And speaking of that, hand me your Instagram and all your networks," he says instantly, grabbing his cell phone from his front pocket, "We better have that all figured out now."

Obviously Aemond's accounts had to be public while you maintain your privacy, with barely thirteen hundred followers while he has almost the entire school following him and probably from other schools as well.

In fact, your numbers compared to his are embarrassing. But you never really had the interest of having more followers on Instagram or more friends on Facebook, Snapchat is the same and apparently that doesn't matter to Aemond.

Upload photos and videos together to our social media.

"And well, I also think another very important thing is to maintain privacy," you suggest, lifting your gaze to watch him and Aemond gives you a confused look.

"Do you really want to write that down too? It's obvious we can't tell anyone-

"Let me enjoy this, Aemond. It's actually fun and I want to write it all down. So act serious," you ask.

He lets out a choked laugh.

"Well, yes, we must be discreet, no one must know that all this is false, only we know the truth and we must keep it that way," he says and you excitedly write it down.

"We mustn't involve our families in this either," you add, watching him intently, "But that will be difficult because your siblings are here," you grimace.

"We can keep up the farse with them for a while too, I'll convince them not to say anything to my mother or the rest of my family. And once everyone here at school is convinced enough, I'll tell the truth only to them," he say sure and confident, solving the problem.

"And you're sure you'll manage to keep them that way?"

"Yeah," he says with a shrug, "They're my siblings. I know how it works with each one."

5. Maintain privacy: Tell absolutely no one about the fake relationship or involve each other's families in it.

"Oh, right, I almost forgot..." Aemond says as he points to what is already written, "You must also go on each year's trip to Dragonstone with me. That's another additional condition of mine."

"What?" you inquire again, surprised and confused.

"Yes, the trip to Dragonstone," he affirms.

Oh God, the trip to Dragonstone.

Dragonstone is an island not far from King's Landing, where there is an ancient castle with a lot of history but has been modernized with the same name and is open to every visitor.

The school makes an annual trip for educational purposes as the castle has relics and structuring from thousands of years ago. You have seen pictures and videos where everything looks really beautiful, ancestral and almost royalty.

In addition the castle offers other activities, such as rides on its huge luxury yachts, surfing, diving and swimming lessons.

You always had the spirit to go but have always known that the trip is anything but educational. You've heard stories that happen with the students, such as getting drunk, partying on the yachts, hot tubs and obviously you've heard stories of who slept with whom.

Even the most reserved get to have fun and it's not something you're interested in. You know you don't fit in that environment, especially since everyone has to share a room and you're sure that if you go, you'll have to share a room with girls with different tastes and perspectives than yours. They probably won't even let you sleep.

"Come on Y/N, you've never been to Dragonstone?" asks Aemond incredulously, noting the grimace on your face for wanting you to go there with him.

"Well, yeah I've wanted to go but... I-I, I don't know, I've heard that instead of learning about the place, everyone goes to having fun, they party, they get drunk and I-I don't...

"And what do you expect us to do in a modern castle on the shore of the beach with yachts and hot tubs?" he inquires again, expectantly, "The trip is planned for the middle of the last month of these five months and you can't let me go alone with the things that go on in that place."

You make your grimace more visible, revealing your clear indecision. And even though you and Aemond have been at odds lately over the matter of tastes, he still places a soft smile in your direction, understanding that you are not like him and prefer to do other things.

"Look, you don't have to go to the parties and drink if you don't want to," he starts to tell you, "But we can at least go to one of the parties on the yachts and then do the activities they offer on site, swimming, diving and all that," he proposes, "We'll take pictures, tour the castle and we'll both be equally satisfied."

You ponder for a moment, considering his proposal. You know you only have to get your father's signature on the permit to be able to go to the island and it's not like you've gone before so... you can do it now.

"Well, I guess that's fine," you nod, "But really promise you won't leave me alone and we'll take the time to do other activities that aren't related to partying on yachts and hot tubs."

"Please, we'll go as a couple, so of course I won't leave you alone. You'll be stuck with me," he assures you, "And I also promise you that we'll do other activities, not just the parties."

"And..." you start to say, in a serious, warning tone, "Also promise you'll pick me up every morning to bring me to school. That's another one of my additional conditions. The bus isn't very comfortable anymore."

He nods, shrugging, completely unconcerned.

"Sure, it's no problem. Besides it will make the relationship more credible," he says softly.

Despite your doubts, you feel a sense of relief at seeing and acknowledging his commitment. And you also feel more confident knowing that you have his support in all of this, even in your conditions. So you write down the two new additional conditions.

Drive Y/N every morning to school.

Dragonstone trip.

At the end you both sign the sheet, looking honestly ridiculous but being funny, then both seal the whole contract by shaking hands.

"So when do we start all this?" you ask him, putting away your notebook and pen.

"I say tomorrow," he gives you a look of understanding, "But we need to talk now during classes in the hallways or in the cafeteria, so that when they see us together tomorrow, it won't be so surprising and will seem more believable."

You give him an unsure look.

"I think it will still be very surprising, Aemond."

"It doesn't matter, we just have to start showing together today, just talking. But tomorrow is when we really start."

And just as he says those words, with that determination, you feel again those nerves in your lower abdomen and that insecurity. But at least you still have all day today to mentally prepare yourself, and you're grateful for that.

"And before I forget this too..." he says again, "I need you to send me all your academic information to work on your college application now," he tells you seriously and you watch him completely attentively, "The five months will go by fast and during that time college applications will start. So it's best to get it all in now."

At this, you feel your heart start to beat fast and you don't know why, you guess because it's a very important issue for you. And more than anything else it's the reason you agreed to do this with him.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," you say softly, "I-I'll email it all to you."

He smiles softly in your direction.

"Very well," he nods at you, "I'll text you my email."

Despite your slight doubts about whatever is going to happen next, the idea of starting a fake relationship leaving you with a knot in your stomach and feeling your emotions mixed, you know this will all be worth a try.

So you pick up your phone and you start to write in an email all your personal and academic information. While at the same time all is said and done and the fake relationship contract is over.

THE CONTRACT

Duration of relationship: Until graduation.

Behavior in public: Show affection as genuinely as possible in public, such as gestures, hugs, and holding hands. KISSING ONLY WHEN EXTREMELY NECESSARY.

Public appearance: Act like a real couple in love, be committed and attentive to each other at school and social events.

No involvement with other girls/guys: No casual encounters or texting with anyone else for the duration of the fake relationship.

Maintain privacy: Tell absolutely no one about the fake relationship or involve each other's families in it.

ADDITIONAL CONDITIONS

Parties.

Lacrosse games.

For every party Y/N goes to with me, I will read a book or watch one of her favorite movies or shows.

Upload photos and videos together to our social media.

Drive Y/N every morning to school.

Dragonstone trip.

general taglist

@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff

[partially-controlled-chaos]

New Life Shall Prosper, ch. 1

Pairing: Halsin x Reader (as gender neutral as possible, given the context)

Rating: T? (not really smut but there's some heavily implied further down)

Warnings: There's not full blown smut but it borders on the edge, mentions of illness and pregnancy, mostly just fluff

Summary: Months after the fall of the Absolute, you and Halsin have carved a happy life for yourselves within Thaniel's Realm, making a safe haven for all. A life full of hope and prosperity, only enhanced once you discover the very real possibility that you are with child.

Word Count: 9.2K

an: I've had "Halsin becomes a dad" brain rot going on for a week now and had to make something productive of it. Chapter 1 of a 2-3 part series, depending on how long I make the other chapters because this one ended up being much longer than I originally planned (oops). Follow up to this post.

Read on AO3 here if you prefer!

Find chapter 2 here! Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Masterlist

Soft, gentle rays from the sunlight filtering through your bedchamber window stirred you from your sleep, making you squint as you faced the rising sun. With a deep inhale and a long stretch, you basked in the warmth momentarily before rolling over, expecting to see your lover already awake. Much to your surprise, however, Halsin was sleep in a deep sleep, the occasional snore passing through his lips. It was rare for you to wake before Halsin, who was typically up before sunrise, so you happily indulged in the sight that was the peacefully sleeping druid before you. He had one arm under his head for support, still preferring to rough it as much as possible, and the other lazily thrown over his chest. Very carefully, you slid one leg over his as you partially hoisted yourself onto his chest, resting your head on his sternum to listen to the strong, steady thump of his heart as your fingers traced light patterns across his bare chest.

After the fall of the Netherbrain a few months prior, you left with Halsin to help those displaced by the battle by setting up a new settlement in what was once the shadow cursed lands. He was admittedly reluctant to bring you along when he first broke the news he would be leaving the morning after the brain had fallen, worried he was pulling you from the life you deserved after saving the entirety of Baldur’s Gate as well as the Sword Coast, but there was nothing you could have wanted more. After the excitement and fear that the mind flayer invasion had caused, you craved something more peaceful and idillic, especially by the side of the druid you had fallen in love with. It took some convincing to ease his worry, but the two of you happily left for Thaniel’s realm after saying goodbye to your fellow companions. 

The community the two of you had begun to build was thriving. Children and families that had been scattered and broken were reunited or found new families in an area you and Halsin worked every day to build and protect. Despite a century long shadow curse, the land of the area was surprisingly fertile, which allowed for nature to reclaim its hold on the land, much to Halsin’s joy. Gardens were being built, old rotting buildings were being cleared and rebuilt, and most importantly, the people there were happy. There were no harsh politics like the Emerald Grove had when you’d first met Halsin. And, despite being in charge of so many people and children, Halsin didn’t feel the looming weight of leadership like he had when he was Archdruid. Instead, he was much more relaxed and in his element. Leadership wasn’t the easiest thing in the world for him, but something about this settlement was different. And with you by his side through everything, his burdens were much lighter and he was much happier.

Typically, Halsin spent his mornings roaming the community in wild shape, checking for security purposes, but also just enjoying the earliest touches of sunlight as a bear. This morning, however, you woke well before he did, a sudden and violent wave of nausea hitting you before the sun had even crested the horizon. You’d been awake ever since, dozing in a light sleep on occasion, but the lasting twinges of nausea keeping you from fully resting. Those feelings had subsided now and you’d assumed it was just something not settling well in your stomach or perhaps a small stomach bug. As much of an annoyance as it was, you were thankful to be able to glance a peek at your sleeping druid. A decent night’s sleep was not something he got frequently when he was traveling with you, the threat of danger always present, but it always soothed your heart to see him so happy and relaxed around you.

“Halsin,” you whispered as you softly trailed a finger along his chin, “Halsin.” As much as you would have preferred to stay in bed all morning and watch your lover sleep, you knew it was in everyones best interest to wake him for the day. As always, there was much to do in your newly blossoming home and he wanted to be there for every part of it.

“The sun has risen, my love.” You continued your ministrations, tracing your fingers across his features in an attempt to gently rouse him from his slumber. The snoring had stopped, but he had not yet fully woken. Your forefinger gently traced a slow trail along his forehead and down the bridge of his nose, across his lips and back to his chin. You then traced along his eyebrows, over the scars above his eye, and down towards his cheek bones. When he still had not stirred, you placed your finger to the pointed tip of his ear, slowly dragging down along the outer shell and down his neck until you felt his skin prickle with excitement and a low rumble stir in his chest. With his eyes still closed, he brought the arm he was resting on out from under his head and ran his own fingers down your naked back until his hand slipped firmly around your waist.

“You’ll awaken the beast if you’re not careful, my heart.” He said through a smile as he pressed you more firmly to him, relishing in the softness of your skin against his. The two of you never bothered to sleep with clothing; Halsin always preferring to rest without the confines of fabric and you found it much easier to simply sleep naked than to have the druid rip your clothing from you when the mood struck late at night. 

“Is that a promise?” You asked softly while running your finger along his ear again, giggling as you felt another shiver run through his body. Knowing the high sensitivity of elven ears, you didn’t toy with his ears too often, but always enjoyed the reaction you would get from him if you managed to catch him off guard. With a low growl, he captured your lips with his, swiftly rolling until you were securely pinned underneath his large frame. 

“I could never tire of this.” He said between kisses, slowly moving his lips down from yours and onto your neck, giving the occasional nibble in the process. Your hands traveled along Halsin’s shoulders and up onto his neck before settling into his hair as he continued his way down your neck. Your eyes closed tightly and you inhaled sharply as another wave of nausea suddenly settled in your stomach, threatening to come up and into your throat. You tried your best to fight the feelings creeping up, not wanting to disturb your partners fun, but nothing was stopping the final wave from coming.

You frantically tapped Halsin’s arms to signal him to move, but had to settle for gently pushing him up and away so you could adjust your position. The druid, who had made his way to your collar bones by this point, pulled up from you, confusion crossing his face as he initially believed he had done something wrong. You managed to roll out from under his grasp in just enough time to roll your upper body off the side of the large bed you shared before emptying the remaining contents of your stomach into the pail you’d placed by the bed from your earlier bought of vomiting, just in case. You continued to heave long after anything had stopped coming to the surface, struggling to breathe as you tried to stops the spasms. Halsin’s large hand ran along your lower back as he adjusted his position to come sit beside you as you finished your heaving.

“I’m sorry,” you said after you flopped back into your space in the bed, wiping your mouth with the cloth you’d brought with you earlier, “I didn’t mean to rile you up and then ruin it.”

“Don’t apologize, my love,” he said as he pressed the back of his hand to your forehead, checking for a fever, “Are you alright? How long have you been ill?” His hand shifted to your cheeks, still checking for a fever, but satisfied when he found you to not be unusually warm.

“Earlier this morning,” you said as you closed your eyes as the final waves began to subside, “it must have been something from supper last night that didn’t sit well with me. I’m fine, truly.”

“I wish you had woken me then,” he said as he momentarily left the bed, “I would have been able to help sooner.” You heard clinking in the next room as he dug through his collection of various vials and jars of medicines and herbs he kept on hand. 

The home the two of you shared was small and cozy, with both of you preferring to spend time outdoors a vast majority of the time. Although Halsin would prefer to rough it outdoors and sleep under the stars, he was willing to compromise and bed down for the night in a small home with a large enough bed to accommodate for two. However, it wasn’t out of the ordinary to see him napping midday outside of the settlement under a shaded tree or patch of sunny grass. While Halsin would always prefer the outdoors, there was something special he treasured about sharing a large, warm bed with you at night in the privacy of a shared living space that was absolute harmony. 

“You were too peaceful, my love,” you said with a smile as you remembered the serene look on his face as he slept, “I felt bad enough waking you when I did.” Your eyes opened once again when you felt the bed beside you shift, meeting Halsin’s gaze as he opened the lid of the jar he’d brought with him. Inside the jar were small lightly colored discs of what looked like candy.

“Ginger,” he said simply as he pulled a piece from the jar and popped one in your mouth, “it should help with any lingering nausea. Although, if it persists, please tell me and I’ll see what I can brew for you.” He did you the favor of bringing candied ginger, knowing your tendencies to enjoy the sweeter things natured offered, which significantly cut down on the bite of the root without nullifying any benefits it may bring. Fairy quickly after eating the piece you’d been offered, you could feel your stomach begin to settle and return to some sense of normalcy. Your hand gently caressed his cheek as thanks and he kissed at your palm. It always surprised you that someone as large and fierce in battle that Halsin could be, he could be exceedingly gentle and soft, particularly with you. 

After offering your hand one final kiss, Halsin left the jar of sweets with you as he stood again, lazily rolling his shoulders and neck of the last remnants of sleep before preparing for the day. You admired the way his muscles flexed with his movements, the flutter in your heart briefly reminding you on the treat you’d been robbed of earlier when you promptly vomited into a bed pail. Although you were fairly certain it would be made up for two-fold that evening. Keeping your hands off each other was always a challenge, even after the first night you’d spent together all those months ago, but now that you both had settled into a new home that didn’t have danger looming on the horizon every morning, it was even harder to keep to yourselves. You both tested the limits of what your sturdy bed frame could withstand almost nightly, not including the times you’d sneak off into the woods after a long day.

“So tell me,” you said as you sat up, “what’s on your plate for today?”

“I promised the children I would show them more of the realm,” he responded as he poured himself a makeshift bath into the basin seated in the corner of the room, “there’s still much they haven’t been able to explore and now that more of the debris has been cleared, it’s high time they had the chance to see what all they have to look forward to.” Although he much preferred to bathe in a river under the caress of the sun, he was content with a sink bath given that he’d slept in later than normal. 

“Will you rest for the day, my heart? I can bring you something to eat around midday if you’d like.” Halsin asked as he began to bath himself down, glancing over his shoulder to await your answer. You smiled as the kindness behind his words settled in your mind. Your lover always made it a point to make sure you were taken care of, even if his schedule for the day was filled to the brim. His gestures and kindness directed towards you were always done selflessly and without the expectation of anything in return, although you always tried to return the favor in some way.

“You’re sweet,” you cooed as you placed another piece of ginger on your tongue to keep another bout of vomiting at bay, “but it’s not necessary. I may get a late start, but I’d like to stop by the market today. The last I checked, the stock of produce was running lower than I’d like to see for how many people we have.” You hopped from the bed and made your way to where Halsin stood, taking the wash cloth from his grasp to gently run across his face to clean any places he had missed.

“Thank you though.” You cupped his cheek when you were done, your thumb ghosting his lips. You wanted to kiss his lips as reassurance, but give you’d just lost the contents of your stomach a few minutes prior you decided against it.

“Are you certain?” He asked, clearly not thrilled with your answer. 

You hadn’t been sick in front of Halsin often, the only other notable time being after a bad run-in with a patch of bibberbangs in the Underdark, but even with the most simple of illnesses he found himself concerned for your wellbeing. You knew his concern only came from a place of genuine concern and care. He had often told you how much you meant to him and seeing you in any state of duress, whether it be from illness or threat of physical violence, set him on edge. 

“I’ll be fine. I promise.” You slid your hand down from his cheek and settled it on the center of his chest, resigning yourself to a quick kiss between his pectorals instead of his lips.

“Very well,” Halsin softly grabbed the tip of your chin with his forefinger and thumb, tilting your gaze upwards until it met his,“I won’t stop you. But please, my love, come find me if you need me. Send someone if you must.”

“You have my word. I’ll see you at supper.” He rested his forehead against your for a moment as a parting gesture before reluctantly pulling away to fulfill his duties for the day. His fingertips lingered on yours as he stepped away, as if he was afraid to let you go, until he finally let them part so he could dress for the day. You smiled to yourself, already missing the warm embrace of the druid and eagerly awaiting your reunion later that night.

Once the elf had left for the day, you groaned as you flopped back onto the bed, your eyes closing together tightly as you tried to ignore the churning of your stomach once more. Whatever had your stomaching twisting and turning on itself had certainly overstayed its welcome and you were more than ready to return to normal. Although a bit of vomiting wouldn’t stop you from performing your duties around the community, but it made it much less enjoyable. You allowed yourself one more deep breath before promptly rolling onto your side and hanging over the bed, once again heaving into the pail on the floor.

************************************************************************

The air outside was pleasantly warm with a gentle breeze, a stark contrast to the gloom and chill the air presented not all that long ago. As you walked from your small home towards the communal market located in the center of the community, you couldn’t help but feel pride in knowing that the land that had been plagued with shadow for so long was not only bathed in light again, but was absolutely thriving. Although you were not one that required the praises of everyone thanking you for doing your part in curing the shadow, it did feel nice knowing you helped lift the curse. So now, instead of shadow and a place void of life, the area was blooming with nature. Flowers and various amounts of fruits and vegetables had been planted to supplement the wild varieties found closer to the forest. This in turn allowed for a sizable market to be set up for people come and go as they please.

You’d taken it upon yourself to make sure the market stayed stocked, frequently checking in to make sure there was plenty of food for the plethora of hungry mouths that had been displaced after the battle of the gate. Not only was it important to make sure there was plenty of food for everyone throughout the day, but the market was also the gathering point for the nightly supper. You’d found it much easier to feed nine wagons worth of children with one large communal dinner every night than it was to cook individual meals. You took your time strolling the market, enjoying the fresh air and the flowers littering the ground.

However, you stopped in your tracks about halfway through as a rather unpleasant aroma suddenly assaulted your senses and brought back another wave of the nausea you’d finally rid yourself of. You placed a few fingers over your nose and mouth, wanting to block as much of the smell as possible without looking like an absolute fool in front of any onlookers. The smell wasn’t exactly anything putrid or rancid, but it was foul smelling to you and threatening to make you start heaving the town square. Glancing around, you didn’t see anyone else with the same affliction as you; everyone you made eye contact with and gave a strained smile to seemed to be just fine. Not ready to let a foul smell deter you, considering you had ventured in the Baldur’s Gate sewers plenty by this point, you pressed on.

You pulled another piece of the ginger Halsin had provided to you earlier in the day from your pocket and promptly tossed it into your mouth, hoping it would be enough to hold the vomiting at arms length until you had done your duties for the day. It helped a bit, but the urge to heave was strong and pushing your will. You quickly trotted along the stalls of the market, taking a mental note of what was well stocked and what needed to be replenished. For the most part everything seemed to be fine, but you’d feel better if there were a few more vegetables in the bins. With it being midday, preparations for the nightly supper had already begun and it was within those preparations that you finally found the source of the foul smell assaulting your nose. 

Large racks of rothé ribs were searing over an open flame, sizzling deliciously as any drippings slipped from the meat and onto the hot coals. Normally your mouth would water over the smells of searing meat, something that had become a treat while you were on your travels, but this time was vastly different. The smell that radiated from the meat unsettled your stomach, making it churn and bile to rise in your throat. Again, it didn’t smell rancid or spoiled and everyone around seemed to be fine, but you were quickly losing your resolve. 

With one final glance around the market, you quickly left the area, barely rounding the corner of a nearby wall before you lost everything in the middle of a bush. You prayed to the gods that no one would come to you as you were vomiting, not wanting to answer questions about your illness or, even worse, alert Halsin to your condition. You wiped your mouth on your sleeve once you had finished and resigned yourself to returning home for the day. You were doing no one any favors if you were actively sick and you didn’t want to spread your sickness to anyone else. Surely the community would survive without your supervision for one day.

************************************************************************

The small fireplace in your bedroom crackled softly and illuminated the room just enough for you to read. You’d found an unread tome leftover from your adventures and, having a lack of other reading material to choose from, you were reluctantly reading a rather boring history of some old, forgotten wizard from years past. Not your typical choice of reading material, but it would suffice until your lover returned to you. The sun had long set below the horizon, signaling to you that soon the children would soon be put to bed and the rest of the community would settle for the evening. 

By the time you’d begrudgingly read your way through the long winded life story of your wizard, you picked up on the unmistakable stride of Halsin walking through your shared home. From your small living room seated at the front of the home, you heard him call your name as if it were a question. From this, you could tell he’d been looking for you for quite some time. You called back to him, telling him you were in bed and he was welcome to come in. 

A few moments later, Halsin appeared in the threshold to your bedroom, ducking slightly to avoid hitting his head on the wooden beam at the top of the doorframe. He leaned his shoulder against the side of the doorway, a gentle smile gracing his lips as he finally set eyes on you. It was no secret that Halsin loved to admire you and you often found him drinking in your form throughout the day; always looking at you with a fond gaze and a loving smile. He stood there for a moment, eyes locked onto you as a pleasant warmth spread through his chest; a mixture of relief as well as love.

“There you are,” he said with a relieved sigh he tried to hide, “I was wondering where you’d gotten off to. I didn’t see you at supper.” Halsin knew you were fully capable of being by yourself, you did defeat a Netherbrain, after all. But, taking your sudden illness into consideration, the healer in him couldn’t help but be concerned. Not that you didn’t appreciate it, of course.

“I didn’t attend,” you said as you looked up from your book, “I wasn’t very hungry this evening so I came home.” While this wasn’t an outright lie, it wasn’t exactly the full truth. The lingering smells of meat from your earlier trip to the market was enough to dissuade you from coming to the communal dinner with the rest of the settlement. Between not wanting to make others sick in the event you were infections and also not wanting to have to endure the suddenly grotesque smell of sizzling rothé over a fire, you decided the best course of action was to simply retire early for the evening. 

You noticed Halsin’s expression change ever so slightly as his brows knitted together and the unmistakable beginning signs of concern began to wash over him. By this point, Halsin knew you well. He knew your enjoyment of joining the communal dinners with the displaced citizens of Baldur’s Gate that you now called your friends and neighbors. You were always the first to attend, making sure to speak to everyone there, and always the last to leave to help clean up any mess; a left over habit from your time at camp with your other companions. So having missed the nightly dinner simply because you weren’t hungry? He knew something was off and it was beginning to worry him. That combined with your sudden morning illness was just an added cause for concern.

“And how did our small army of children enjoy the scenery, my dear?” You asked before Halsin could continue to dwell on  you. You simply either had a bought of food poisoning or a small bug, nothing major and nothing that was worth causing your lover to fret over.

You extended one arm to him, encouraging him to join you, before shifting your legs down from their bent position and pat the top of your scarcely covered thighs with the opposite hand. Halsin indulged you with a chuckle and he joined you in bed, offering you a loving kiss to your forehead before reclining back to lay his head in your lap and stretch his legs along the width of the bed which, thankfully, was large enough to accommodate his height even from the side. 

“Oh, they barely saw any of it.” Halsin said as his head settled into your lap, “An hour into the trek everything turned into one large game of hide and seek. It took me most of the day just to find everyone, not including the walk back home. Then of course it was making sure everyone had a plate of food in their bellies and they wouldn’t let me leave without a story. Silvanus’s grace is the only thing that gave me the stamina to keep up with them all.” He offered a low grunt as the rest of his body settled into the bed. As much as he preferred to sleep outdoors, he couldn’t deny the wonderful feeling a plushly filled bed could offer tired bones at the end of a day.

“Trust me, my love, one thing you don’t lack is stamina.” You offered him a cheeky smile as you mindlessly stroked your fingers through his hair. He offered you a deep laugh, never failing to adore your praises for him.

“I already warned you once about being careful when it came to waking the beast,” he said with a wide smile as his fingers gently pinched at your sides, “I can’t be held responsible if you unleash it, my heart.”

“Fine, fine,” you giggled as you squirmed under his tickling fingers, “I suppose I can let you rest for the evening. You’ve had a long day, after all.”

“I’ve had much longer.” He said as he looked up to you before reaching up and pressing his fingers to your cheeks and forehead once again, “How are you fairing, my heart? Still ill?” Once again, he found no signs of a fever or anything abnormal and returned his hand to his chest.

“I seem to be fine for now. I haven’t really felt anything since the market this morning.” You cursed yourself as the words left your lips. You would have rather kept that little bit to yourself to avoid adding a burden to Halsin’s broad shoulders. You knew he had enough to worry about already and you didn’t want to add to that load. You remember the run down, morally defeated man you’d first met all those months ago and you didn’t want to see Halsin return to that state because you personally added to his burdens.

“What happened with the market?” Halsin sat up on his elbows, his corners of his lips downturned with concern as he locked eyes with yours. 

“Just another wave of nausea, love, nothing to worry about,” you stroked his cheek with your hand, running your fingers over his frown lines in hopes they would disappear, “I’m not sure what, exactly, but just the smell of what was being cooked had my stomach flopping around like a fish plucked from the river.” 

“Had anything spoiled? Gone bad, perhaps?” His worry had not fully gone, but was beginning to ease under your gentle touch. Instead, his worried look had shifted to one of curiosity; as if he was trying to find the answers to a riddle you had offered.

“I don’t think so.” You said with a shake of your head, “It wasn’t really a bad smell, it just…made me sick? It’s hard to explain. Nothing was wrong with it, I don’t think, but just didn’t sit well with me. Admittedly I don’t think I’ve ever had a reaction like that before, but I left fairly quickly so I can’t say for certain it wasn’t something rotten. Although I could kick myself for leaving so quickly; I wanted to pick up a basket of plums to bring home.”

“A whole basket of plums?” Halsin asked with a raised eyebrow as he settled his head back in your lap. Your eyes returned to the pages of your book despite not picking up on a single word that was laid before you.

“An entire basket,” you said with excitement, “I’ve been aching to sink my teeth into a beautifully ripe plum for a while now, almost insatiably. If I’m feeling better tomorrow I may go out and see what I can find. If my memory serves me correctly, there’s a plum tree not far from here.” You could feel your mouth watering simply from the thought of a purple plum. 

“Insatiable, you say?” He said with another chuckle. With his head still seated in your lap, he turned his head to gaze upon you, once again drinking in your features as his body finally relaxed for the evening. He took your hand that was not occupied by the book and placed it on his chest, sighing contently at the feel of your skin so close to his heart as he covered it with his own hand. 

“Oh come now,” you said peeking over the edge of the book you’d stop reading ages ago, “don’t tell me you’ve never craved something so badly it almost drove you mad.”

“You,” he almost growled as he leaned up to plant soft kisses on the underside of your jaw, “I had an ever burning desire for you when we first met that only grew stronger the more I learned about you. Not just the warmth of your skin or the taste of your lips, but you, your companionship, and your love. And, truth be told, it’s something I’ll always crave. I can never get enough of you, my heart.”

As he returned his head to your thighs, you leaned forward yourself, planting a series of lingering kisses to his lips. Your heart swelled at his words, your heart still fluttering like it did the first time Halsin offered you a compliment back in the goblin camp. Despite the lengthly time you’d spent with the druid, his praises, words of affection, and heartfelt confessions of love never ceased to have you ablaze with rapidly fluttering butterflies. Your cheeks were left with a slight blush as you finally pulled away, almost wishing you could kiss his lips for eternity.

“And how long has this insatiable craving for plums been going on, my love?” Halsin asked as he closed his eyes, sleep suddenly feeling heavy on his lids as he relaxed.

“Hmm…a few days?” You tossed your book to the side as you thought, having long lost interest, “Maybe a week if you squint.”

His eyes opened quickly, slowly looking around as he entered a deep thought. You could almost see the wheels of his mind churning as you assumed he tried to deduce the cause of your sudden illness. His eyes seemed to lighten as his answer finally clicked in his mind. A long strand of what sounded like absolute giddy giggles erupted from his lips, which were spread wide in a smile that would have threatened to crack his face. You shifted in your seat, eager to find out just what he had deduced.

“My heart,” he said after his giggling finally subsided enough for him to speak, “have you considered that, perhaps, well…no. Never mind. Forget I said anything.” His eyes closed once again and he seemed to have calm down other than the smile that was still plastered across his face.

“What?” You asked impatiently, “You can tell me.” You found yourself smiling along with him; the sight of unbridled joy on his face causing your own lips to curl into an awaiting smile.

“Oh nothing, my heart,” he once again placed your hand on his chest and cover his fingers with yours, “just the ramblings of an old man.” You huffed at his statement. You detested when he would refer to himself as old.

“You are not old,” you said firmly, “we’ve had this discussion before. Older, perhaps, but not old.”

“And I still fail to see the difference.” Halsin said as his eyes opened yet again and his gaze met yours. 

“Older implies that while you may not be the youngest elf of the bunch, but you still have plenty to look forward to. Old, on the other hand, implies that you are a hair’s breadth away from dying. And, selfish as this may be,” your voice softened as you began to lightly run your fingers through his hair again, “I’m simply not ready to see you go just yet.”

His gaze softened with your words and another gentle smile crept upon his lips. Gods, how you loved to see your lover smile when he looked upon you. He sat up fully, leaning to the side as he captured your lips in a gentle kiss. One of his large hands came up to caress your cheek, this thumb softly stroking the curve of your cheekbone in the process. You exhaled slowly as your body melted into his kiss, your eyes closing as your hand softly latched onto the collar of his shirt.

“I do not deserve you, my heart.” He said quietly after breaking the kiss. His forehead came to rest against yours, his eyes looking to yours.

“You deserve whatever you desire, my love.” You said softly as he gave you another quick kiss. His large arm snaked around your lower back and pulled you until you were pressed against him. There was no sense of urgency or lust behind his movements, just the soft and loving caress between lovers. Your face nestled in the crook of his neck as you felt his body begin to relax for a final time and enter the first realm of sleep. You sighed contently as you felt the gentle heat radiating from his body and the secure feeling of his arm wrapped around you. You found yourself drifting off to sleep as well, lulled there by the sound of Halsin’s strong heartbeat and soft snores.

************************************************************************

A week had passed and you were still plagued with your mystery illness. Every morning was the same, peacefully sleeping until a wave of nausea so strong woke you from your sleep and caused you to lose everything in the pail you just permanently kept at your bedside. By this point you had considered that maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with the food you’d been eating; surely food poisoning wouldn’t have lasted this long. You’d considered that maybe there was something wrong with the local water source. After all, the lands had been cursed for so long that you would be surprised to find out if there wasn’t some sense of lasting pollution from the curse. However, you also knew very well that no one else had gotten sick and you were the lone soul that had been afflicted with bouts of nausea and vomiting. You had also toyed with the idea that this was some late settling side effect of having a mind flayer tadpole swimming in your brain for some time. The tadpoles were unique so it wouldn’t be too far fetched to find out you had a lifelong affliction because of them.

However, tonight you were awake for a different reason. Instead of debilitating nausea keeping you from a decent nights rest, it was the same gnawing craving for plums that’d been on your mind for weeks. After the incident at the market, you hadn’t returned for fear of the smells wafting around the area making you sick to your stomach again and you hadn’t had the chance to go collect any yourself. You knew that if you asked Halsin to bring you some that he would do it happily and without question, but you were aware with how busy he was and you’d decided that asking him to go fruit picking for you simply wasn’t as important. 

But the night was young and you couldn’t sleep. The sun had only set a few hours prior, leaving you ample time left in the night to scamper out to the plum tree you knew of with a basket in hand and fill it to your hearts content. You could snack on a few on your journey back home and slip back into bed without waking your slumbering lover. You rubbed the small bit of sleep from your eyes and gently lifted Halsin’s heavy arm from atop your midsection, quietly placing it on the mattress below as you crept out of bed. You threw on the first discarded shirt and pair of trousers you could find, not caring if they were wrinkled or even matched. You weren’t expecting to see anyone on this little trip of yours and wouldn’t be gone long enough to justify a well thought out outfit. 

You slipped out of your home silently, being sure to close the door with a soft click before setting off on your impromptu adventure. Although your settlement was secured and safe with no real threat of danger, you carried a small knife in your belt line, just as a precaution. You had no intent on using it, but it was a small token of safety that was left over from your tadpole days. It could also come in handy in the event a particular plum was too stubborn to be plucked from the tree. You were determined to have your fill of the ripest plums you could find and you would not be set off course because of a vine.

The walk to the plum tree was quiet and peaceful. You could hear the soft chirp of crickets in the distance and the low song of frogs floating in the air. Torches scattered around the realm illuminated your path out of the town square and into the forest, which you followed in no great hurry. You couldn’t help but observe everything you and Halsin had built together as you walked, feeling a sense of pride and tremendous joy when gazing upon your shared efforts. These lands which had once been filled with a century long curse of darkness, shadow, and decay were slowly coming to the light. You could understand why Halsin called the fall of the shadow curse the happiest and greatest moment of his life. Seeing new life sprouting from what was once dead was truly a miracle. And the chance to see Halsin so free and unburdened was certainly one of the high points of your own life.

The cool dew settling on the grass licked at your toes through your sandals as you first stepped into the forest, a set of chill bumps grazed your skin like a wave that quickly disappeared. You lazily strolled through the trees, taking your time but also trying to find the correct tree through the darkness of night. Thankfully, the moon was full and exceptionally bright, making it easier to see your surroundings. Eventually, you stumbled across a tree with low hanging branches and much to your delight, was filled with the richly colored fruit you’d been so long craving. 

You bit your lip in excitement as you approached the tree, setting your basket down at the base as you set to work. Plenty of branches were well within your reach and you could simply pluck the fruit without having to go to the effort of climbing up the tree, although if you did it wouldn’t have deterred you. This craving was something that had been gnawing away at you for weeks now and you wouldn’t be stopped for anything. The first plum snapped off easily, much to your delight. You paused momentarily to press the fruit to your nose and inhale deeply, the rush of satisfaction running through your brain causing you to smile at the deliciously ripe scent of your prize. 

Instead of eating it on the spot, you decided to toss it in your basked and continue plucking until you’d put as many as you could into your stash. You decided that you would take some of them home and then drop off the rest to the market for the rest of the community to enough, but you would be a little self indulgent and eat your fill first. You worked on picking more plums silently, enjoying the peaceful sounds of the night as you plucked, making sure to leave a few fruits scattered across the lower limbs for other creatures to nibble on. In a relatively short amount of time, you’d amassed a large basket full of deep purple plums and you were more than ready to sink your teeth into one.

You spent another moment picking the most perfect one you could find. One that was perfectly soft and plump under your fingertips. Once you’d selected your fruit of your choice, you leaned your back against the tree and slid down until you sat fully on the ground. You moaned ever so slightly as you finally bit into the fruit, juices leaking from the sides of your mouth and onto your chin as you chewed. From the droop in your eyes and the lazy smile that had crossed your face, you knew you looked like the epitome of bliss and you couldn’t agree more. The taste of the plum scratched at that itch deep in your brain and you would keep eating until it had been fully satisfied. 

“Gods above,” you said softly before taking another bite, “I needed this.” In this moment you think you finally understood what Halsin always said about the gifts of nature. The single plum you’d just inhaled was the greatest gift anyone could have given you in that moment. Or perhaps his druidic nature was just finally rubbing off on you. Either way, you were grateful for your treat. You made short work of the plum and wasted no time in biting into a second one, which tasted just as sweet and ripe as the first. Your gaze shifted across the land you’d made your way to and eventually settled on the sky, tracing the constellations as you continued eating. 

Your eyes settled on the full moon sitting high in the sky, illuminating the area with a soft glow as your brows settled into a deep frown. As beautiful as it was, you found yourself surprised to see it return to full seemingly so soon after the last. You tended to keep track of your monthly bleed cycles, wanting to make sure they came when they were supposed to in order to keep an overall idea on your general health. But, given how busy everything had been under Thaniel’s watch, it had slipped your mind. Your cycles tended to fall in line with each new moon and upon seeing the bright and shining full moon now above you, you realized that you miraculously didn’t have one this past lunar cycle.

“By the gods.” You whispered to yourself as the reality of everything happening finally made sense to you; the seemingly missing bleed cycle, morning sickness, aversion to certain smells, and the craving for plums so strong that you ventured into the woods in the middle of the night just to eat one. How you could have been so daft to not pick up on it soon was beyond you. Halsin had figured it out the first day of your sickness. You smiled and giggled to yourself at the very real possibility that you were with child.

The silence of your thoughts were quickly cut short as you heard the unmistakable grunt of a bear not too far off from where you were seated. Your survival instincts were set ablaze quickly, rising to your feet but remaining low until you could find the source of the noise. Bears weren’t all that uncommon in the area, although you’d never seen one so close to the realm with the only exception being your wild shaping lover who was usually sporting three or four children on his back. The sound was emanating from the path you had taken to the plum tree, the sounds of the animal becoming steadily closer as your heart pounded with anticipation.

Much to your relief, when the bear did present itself to you not too far from where you were, you noticed it was unmistakably Halsin in wild shape. Why he decided to wake from a deep sleep just to roam around as a bear was beyond you, but you couldn’t exactly blame him for doing so when you had left the warmth of your bed to find a plum tree. You sat back on the ground and watched your lover roam. His transformations into a bear always fascinated you and you frequently enjoyed just watching him function as a large hulking creature. It was also fascinating to you to see just how much the tendencies and habits of his bear form seeped into his normal form and vice versa. He was as much bear as he was elven and you loved both halves equally.

The bears head was pointed towards the sky and you could hear the grunts and sniffs from where you were. His nostrils flared as he inhaled the night air, having seemly picked up on a strong scent somewhere nearby. You watched as his head then bowed towards the ground, nose still twitching wildly as he picked up on the scent once again. It didn’t take long for his gaze to finally fall on you resting against the tree. You made the quick decision to move your basket of hard won plums out of the way as the bear made it a priority to gallop towards you, quickly closing the space between the two of you. By the time your plums had been securely placed to the side, you felt Halsin’s nose press firmly against your neck, inhaling in quick bursts as he made his way across your body.

His quickly working nose pressed firmly against your skin, making you shiver at the abrupt force and chill behind it. With several grunts and small growls, you felt his nose travel anywhere he could reach. Into your hair, behind your ears, along your neck, eventually ghosting over your collar bones and under your arms. You laughed at the feeling of the quick bursts of air and the fur tickling your skin, eventually having to work your hands down to grab hold of his rapidly moving snout.

“Love,” you said as you pulled his snout towards your face to keep him from traveling lower, “if you wish to communicate you’ll have to change back. I can understand you, my dear bear.” The ability to speak to animals was never something you’d found necessary, although you’ve deeply regretted that decision since choosing a partner that spent half his time as a bear.

With a brief whine of annoyance, your beloved bear backed up slightly before erupting in a ball of light, making you squint and turn your head to avoid lasting damage to your eyes. By the time they reopened, Halsin was practically on top of you. His lips crashed against yours before you had a chance to say anything, the force behind it bumping your head against the bark of the tree. You felt one of his hands caress your jaw, the other being used to hold himself up to avoid completely crushing you. His thumb quickly made its way to your lower lip, tugging downward gently so your lips could part more for him. You happily complied, moaning softly as he deepened the kiss. It wasn’t long until the hand on your jaw gently tilted your chin to the side, allowing him to descend upon your neck at a fevered pace. 

“What has gotten you so worked up?” You asked with a laugh. Your hands roamed across Halsin’s broad shoulders as he pressed against you, his lips and teeth grazing along your neck with each sloppy kiss. His hips found their way nestled between your thighs as he moved closer. The had that was supporting his frame had moved to your hip, squeezing and frantically searching for any bit of flesh he could find.

“Your scent,” he rasped, “I think I know why, but it’s changed as of late. It’s stronger. More potent. It’s…it’s intoxicating.” He switched to the other side of your neck, inhaling deeply behind your ear before painting the column of your throat with more kisses and bites. He panted through his words as shutters of excitement and arousal coursed through his veins. It was only now that you realized that the druid wasn’t wearing the first stitch of clothing. You enjoyed the thought that your lingering scent in your bed had motivated him enough to leave without even bothering to put on a pair of trousers. 

“Fertility, perhaps?” You asked as you tugged what was left of the hair tie from his hair, your fingers quickly snaking their way though.

“Or the result of that.” His eyes were half-lidded and on the verge of glowing as he took your lips in his for another kiss, “I was wondering when you’d catch on.” Your desire to reply was cut short as your own arousal began to kick in, shoving any thoughts of rational conversation to the far corners of your mind. 

“Damn clothing,” you muttered as you struggled to hoist your shirt over your head, “is always in the way.” You felt the druid laugh against the skin of your neck at your plight. Halsin had managed to tug your trousers from your hips by the time you’d finally tossed your shirt from your body, his lips still latching onto any exposed skin he could find. Your sighed in relief as he moved you to the side and your back finally left the rough bark of the tree and was happily placed on the cool grass beneath you.

************************************************************************

You hummed contently as you bit into the plump flesh of another plum, snuggling against Halsin’s chest in the process. His arm was wrapped tightly against you as you both lay in grass under the plum tree, thoroughly exhausted after the events of the evening. His arm was underneath your shoulder, his hand extending towards your hip where his fingers drew lazy circles along the bone. Despite his frantic and more aggressive movements from just moments prior, his touch was soft and loving as if he was trying to undo any potential injury he inflicted in his animalistic lust. 

“Satisfied?” He asked as he bit into his own fruit, looking down at you as you gave a light hearted chuckle. You couldn’t decide if he was referring to the plums you’d finally gotten your hands on or the impromptu rutting you’d engaged in, but either way you had no complaints. 

“Very,” you said as you finished the last of your fruit and tossed the pit to the side, “although I do have a bone to pick with you.” You feigned a pout, letting him know you weren’t actually angry, especially after a well enjoyed time together. He raised his brow at you, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.

“Do tell, my heart.” He finished his plum with a second bite, discarding the pit as you did before using his free arm as a makeshift pillow against the trunk of the tree.

“Why didn’t you tell me you thought I was with child? Hells, you had it figured out in no time and I only just put the pieces together this evening.” Although you weren’t actually mad, it was a genuine question that had been biting at your brain for a few days. Despite having wagons full of displaced children already under your care, you knew Halsin would love one of his own. He loved the children that found their way into your care deeply, but there was something about bringing in a new life that you knew excited him. So why not tell you the second he put everything together? 

“I wanted to be certain, my love. I didn’t want to put that idea in your head only to be wrong. I wasn’t sure of your feelings on the matter. Truth be told, I was afraid you would be opposed to the idea.” His voice was soft as he spoke, “And, quite frankly, I was afraid that if I spoke it into existence too soon it wouldn’t be true. A bit selfish, I suppose.” You cupped his cheek with your hand, pulling his face to look at you as you offered him a warm smile.

“Put those fears to rest, my love.” You said softly, leaning forward slightly to place a gentle kiss to his opposing cheek.

“You’re certain? This is something you want? With me?” There was uncertainty in his voice. Although it was rare for him to show such vulnerability, you knew that deep down Halsin had his own fears and uncertainties about himself, given how long his emotions and previously failed actions weighed on his shoulders. But you were there to lift his burdens and bring him towards a life where he could cast those doubts to the side. He had nothing to fear with you, nothing to be ashamed of. You loved him more than you could express and living a lifetime with him would bring you more joy than you had ever hope to achieve previously. Bringing a child into the world together was something that was even more thrilling and something you both had secretly wanted for some time.

“More than you can ever imagine,” you pulled his head towards you until your foreheads rested together, “and we’ll both pray to Silvanus that we’re correct in our assumptions.” You felt Halsin release a heavy, but elated, sigh as he once again pressed his lips to yours. It was a firm kiss, but any lingering lust from earlier had long gone. Instead, this was a kiss filled with love and, above all else, radiant hopefulness. 

“Shall we head back, my heart?” Halsin asked with one final kiss to your forehead.

“No,” you said softly, “let’s stay here tonight. We haven’t had a night under the stars in quite sometime.” You both lay there happily, limbs tangled together and bare skin pressed together firmly. It didn’t take long for sleep to wash over you, your cravings sated for the time being and your body thoroughly spent. You slept peacefully while in the embrace of your lover and with the thought you could be bringing a child into the world together.

Tag List: @incrediblethirst, @reignydeys @thoughts-of-bear

[stormy-river]

Transcripts from the Humanity Hotline 7

As I finished this, I discovered it's been exactly one year since I posted the last Transcript. A lot has happened in that year; I've graduated college :) . I want to thank everyone for the support I've received, and I hope to get back into some of my creative projects and give you guys an opportunity to laugh, and maybe learn something. This one is inspired by a request from @a-romantic-twst from forever ago; I hope it was worth the wait (sorry about that). (It's about periods if anyone's uncomfortable with that and wants to skip this one.)

------

Operator: "Hi, my name is Mindy. How may I help you today?"

Caller: "Hello, Mindy, I am very concerned about one of the humans on my ship."

O: "What seems to be the problem?"

C: "Well, I'm the chief medical officer and this particular human has been on the ship for just over two Earth months now. On two separate occasions during that time, she has requested strong painkillers citing 'Shark Week' as the reason. I looked into what 'Shark Week' is, and found an Earth television special about certain aquatic predators, and I'm unsure how that could cause a human physical pain lightyears from Earth?"

O: "Interesting, is there anything else you can tell me about this human during these events?"

C: "Yes, I've also received reports from other crewmembers around these events that this human is not as outgoing as usual, and shows signs of discomfort with facial expressions and changes in appetite, but does not respond well to the standard psychological protocols for team building and social connection."

O: "What about the timing? You said this has happened twice, correct? How much time was between them?"

C: "Yes, I've documented both with dates. The human requested the painkillers twice, 28 days apart. The crew reported signs of distress for a few days following each request, and two times in the day before the first request."

O: "Alright, I believe your human is using the phrase, "Shark Week" as a euphemism for the start of the menstrual cycle, which is often referred to as a 'period'. To put it simply, one of the female reproductive organs sheds its inner lining roughly once an Earth month, lasting anywhere from a few days to a full week."

C: "Similar to how the Rythyani shed and replace their stomach linings?"

O: "Yes, though the uterus has blood vessels that extend into that lining, so shedding also causes bleeding."

C: "Bleeding? How much blood is lost? Why has she not requested bandages or a transfusion?"

O: "For most, a period is not life-threatening. The amount of blood loss does not require a transfusion to replace, or bandages to stop, though iron deficiency may be a concern for some that can be easily remedied through their diet. Ultimately, your human will know her body and how to handle her cycle best. We learn to deal with periods from a relatively young age. You should have received a human anatomy and physiology textbook when the first human joined your crew. Do you have it?"

C: "Yes, though I do admit I have not yet had the time to read it."

O: "That's alright. The chapter on human reproductive systems goes into more detail about the biology of the menstrual cycle than I can tell you. For the time being, make sure your human knows that she can ask for support if needed, and inform your crew that not all humans will be happy all the time, and they don't need to be. Over time, you will gain a better understanding your humans' patterns. Until then, trust them to express their needs, and talk to them if you have specific concerns. I can give general advice, but they will know themselves best."

C: "Thank you for clearing up the confusion, Mindy, I will look into this and update the protocols as necessary. I have no more questions for you at this time."

O: "You are very welcome, please don't hesitate to call again if something else comes up."

End Transmission

[astraystayyh]

MASTERLIST

all rights reserved © astraystayyh. all pieces are works of fiction and do not represent the members in real life. do not copy, translate or repost.

OT8

╰┈➤ series.

༊*·˚ SKZ song series masterlist (completed)

༊*·˚ Winter falls | winter themed collab with @forlix (in progress)

༊*·˚ SKZ quotes series masterlist (in progress)

╰┈➤ one-shots.

༊*·˚ All for you- skz wedding vows | f.

༊*·˚ SKZ saying I love you for the first time | f.

╰┈➤ headcannons.

༊*·˚ SKZ as oddly specific love languages | f.

༊*·˚ Mundane activities you'd enjoy with SKZ | f.

༊*·˚ SKZ when you are stressed and overworked | h/c.

bang chan.

╰┈➤ one-shots & series.

༊*·˚ Pieces of you | f. a. singledad!chris. mutual pining. neigbors!au.

⟿ In which you and chan are each other's missing pieces. Alternatively, Chris and his daughter come knocking at your apartment asking for flour, and he's no longer embarrassed when you open the door.

༊*·˚ Vanilla | a. f.

⟿ Breakup with a happy ending.

༊*·˚ Beginning of the end (part 1) | a.

⟿ You are breaking up with Chan, he just doesn't know it yet.

༊*·˚ Bittersweet (part 2) | a. f. exes to lovers.

⟿ Four years later, you are back home and everything has changed.

༊*·˚ Wait for me | a. major character death.

⟿ "I think I might see you soon, my yn. You've been waiting for me, haven't you? Just like we promised."

༊*·˚ The wedding saga | f.

The impromptu proposal.

A few hours before the wedding.

The wedding and the morning after.

༊*·˚ Myth | f. friends to lovers.

⟿ Skimming across the edge of being friends and something more with Chan is a dangerous game. Even more so when you're both sharing the same bed.

"The consequence of what you do to me, help me to name it."

╰┈➤ drabbles.

༊*·˚ chan is tired and you are his sun.

༊*·˚ you're sick and chan takes care of you.

༊*·˚ when you're having a bad day and chan is still proud of you.

༊*·˚ chan comforting you through a thunderstorm.

༊*·˚ chan's hugs.

lee minho.

╰┈➤ one-shots & series.

༊*·˚ Invisible thread- 1 | f, a. academic rivals to lovers. slow burn.

⟿ Your studies have been your life line for as long as you can remember, what happens when Minho comes into your life and rips it away from you?

༊*·˚ Invisible thread- 2 | f. a. h/c.

⟿ In which Minho rewrites your entire relationship with love.

༊*·˚ Echoes of love | memory loss trope. a. h/c.

⟿ If given the choice would you love minho again? yes, you would've once said in a heartbeat. but now, you aren't sure of your response anymore.

chapter i. to forget - chapter ii. to remember

༊*·˚ The only exception | strangers to lovers. slow burn. barista!minho.

⟿ Minho was content with straying away as far as possible from love. That is until you stumbled into his café on a rainy night, and unwittingly, into his life.

"Cause none of it was ever worth the risk, but you are the only exception."

༊*·˚ Conversations with Minho | f.

༊*·˚ A cat proposal | f.

╰┈➤ drabbles.

༊*·˚ mine.

༊*·˚ a sun and a moon.

༊*·˚ when you used to feel lonely but not anymore with minho.

༊*·˚ minho comforts you through a storm.

seo changbin.

╰┈➤ one-shots.

༊*·˚ The alternative | brother's best friend!changbin. f. ♡

⟿ You've diligently chased the idea of being with Changbin out of your mind. That is until he picks you up from a bad date, making your steadfast resolve unravel all around you.

"Love is a risk, but what's the alternative?"

༊*·˚ Burning in the winter wind | romcom vibes. (fake) enemies to lovers. f.

⟿ Sustaining an ankle injury during a ski retreat isn't fun. Especially when Seo Changbin volunteers to stay back to tend to you- the one man you can never get a read on.

╰┈➤ drabbles.

when you're feeling sad changbin will do anything (being silly) to cheer you up.

hwang hyunjin.

╰┈➤ one-shots.

༊*·˚ The snow falls, we fall apart | friends to lovers. roomates!au. a. f. longing and pining.

⟿ when heartbreak looms on your life, and winter becomes a time you loathe, hyunjin helps you rewrite your memories with the season, and with it, everything you once believed about love.

༊*·˚ Somebody else | exes to lovers. a. miscommunication. happy ending.

⟿ You and Hyunjin have broken up, guilt and blame simmering between you both. He doesn't care anymore, or so he thought. Then why does it hurt him to see you with someone else?

"Don't want your body but I hate to think about you with somebody else."

༊*·˚ You're in the wind, I'm in the water (pt.1) | friends to lovers. pinch of unrequited love (it's very much requited dw)

༊*·˚ Orange (pt.2) | f. my take on The Orange theory.

༊*·˚ Young and beautiful | f.

⟿ How you both said i love you for the first time.

༊*·˚ Snow on the beach | f. implied soulmates.

⟿ You've never said i love you to Hyunjin but you've both always known.

༊*·˚ Say yes to heaven | a. f. (pt. 1)

⟿ Seven minutes in heaven except you're heartbroken and hyunjin has a huge crush on you.

༊*·˚ Say yes to me | f. (pt. 2) ♡

⟿ After your seven minutes in heaven, hyunjin wants to plan out how he'll finally confess to you. except you come knocking on the door of his rented cabin unannounced. at 10:53 pm. the perfect time for love, he comes to learn.

༊*·˚ When I fell in love | f.

⟿ It's your birthday and Hyunjin has a surprise gift for you- all the moments he fell in love with you in.

༊*·˚ You and I | a. happy ending.

⟿ In which you wrongly lash out at Hyunjin and have to mend it back. Human character who makes mistakes and apologizes for them.

༊*·˚ Conversations with Hyunjin | f.

╰┈➤ drabbles.

༊*·˚ serenity.

༊*·˚ mornings with hyunjin.

༊*·˚ nights with hyunjin.

༊*·˚ hyunjin and touch starved reader.

༊*·˚ you've had a nightmare and Hyunjin sings you to sleep while it's raining.

༊*·˚ in which you're in love with hyunjin and you're both swimming in a lake.

༊*·˚ hyunjin with glasses and a tiny ponytail brainrot.

༊*·˚ hyunjin is your friend except you're making out in his car backseat.

༊*·˚ your reaction to hyunjin's new burgundy hair.

༊*·˚ valentine’s with hyunjin.

han jisung.

╰┈➤ one-shots.

༊*·˚ Volcano | Enemies to lovers. slow burn. f. a.

⟿ You've never gotten along with han, your mutual prejudices ruining any prospect of friendship between you both. but you slowly realize that you are more similar than what you originally thought- your darkness recognizing his, and his light yearning for yours.

"I'll take care of you. It's terrible work. Not to me, not if it's you."

༊*·˚ 5422 | a. f.

⟿ Your morning after a fight with Han.

༊*·˚ Backburner | Exes who can't move on. a.

⟿ It's been seven weeks since Han broke up with you. And yet he's still calling you, every saturday night, without fault. And even though you try not to, you still pick up each time.

"You'd think I'd be a fast learner. But guess I won't ever mind crisping up in your backburner."

lee felix.

╰┈➤ one-shots.

༊*·˚ If the world was ending | estranged childhood best friends to lovers. a. f.

⟿ Felix has always been there with you, from the moment you've met him when you were 8 years old. Until he suddenly no longer was, and you were left to grapple with the consequences of his absence- and those of his return.

"If the world was ending you'd come over, right?"

༊*·˚ Scream! | f. h/c.

⟿ When you are overwhelmed by the stress of your studies, your boyfriend Felix will do anything to cheer you up.

╰┈➤ drabbles.

༊*·˚ red lollipop.

༊*·˚ you apply lip gloss on felix but it takes an emotional turn because he's too pretty.

༊*·˚ cooking with felix.

kim seungmin.

╰┈➤ one-shots.

༊*·˚ In my dreams | (Fake) enemies to lovers. a. h/c. slow burn. ♡

⟿ Seungmin has never liked you. You never understood why, but you were slowly coming to terms with it. However, you gradually come to learn that there is more to his feelings than what meets the eye.

"I'm sorry that I misjudged you, until you wiped my tears off away."

༊*·˚ Photobooth | f.

⟿ Your first date with seungmin, except he pretends he's confident when he's just as nervous as you.

╰┈➤ drabbles.

༊*·˚ seungmin's silent comfort.

༊*·˚ when you realize you don't have to be perfect around seungmin.

༊*·˚ enemies to lovers (for a night) with seungmin.

༊*·˚ seungmin thinks you’re the prettiest at your most ordinary.

yang jeongin.

╰┈➤ one-shots.

༊*·˚ You're sexy I'm sexy | friends to lovers. fluff and tension.

⟿ Jeongin is out with his friends, and you. You're tipsy and sitting on his lap, and he doesn't think he can keep his crush for you at bay anymore.

"It could be simple as loving on each other with no strings."

༊*·˚ Please fall before I fall | best friends to lovers. mutual pining but they think it's unrequited love.

⟿ 3 times you saved jeongin's ass and the 1 time he saved yours (and ended up confessing along the way). holidays themed.

╰┈➤ drabbles.

༊*·˚ jeongin when you are sad and don't know why.

༊*·˚ jeongin's duality.

[reivrze]

OH, SAY IT DITTO ♡

pairing. popular!jungwon x shy!reader

genre. highschool!au, fluff, reader has a huge crush on jungwon

word count. 0.8k

warning. none

a/n. this was inspired by the song "ditto" by new jeans :) the ending was kinda rushed lmao sorry, hope you guys enjoy ! reposts are immensely appreciated as they help my works get recommended, reblogs help the algorithms so thank you for all those who take time to repost my work ♡

exam season had come around at a rapid pace, and your free days now consisted of little solo dates at the library going over the notes you had taken in class. this morning was like every wednesday morning except your first two classes had been cancelled, and you had decided to take a little trip down to the library to occupy your free time.

as you entered the library, you greeted the woman sitting at the front desk, having been here so many times in the past few weeks that you had gotten to know several of the staff. getting closer to your usual table, you stopped suddenly seeing an unfamiliar presence sitting in your chair. trying to get a closer look, you sneaked behind the bookshelves, peeking out to see who was the mysterious person. your face flushed a bright red the minute you realized that the person was no one other than yang jungwon. the boy you had been admiring for the past ten years.

you had first met jungwon went you were eight in elementary. he had been the new kid, causing quite a stir amongst the students, his extroverted and hypersocial personality gaining him new friends almost every day. his arrival had awoken something new, he had given you your first experience of having a crush and boy did you not expect this crush to stick for as long as it had. how could you not fall in love with someone with such a boy-ish vibe and adorable smile ?

now here you are, staring at him through the bookshelves, debating on if you should just leave and come back later or try to find another seat. if you had the confidence, you would've gone sit at the same table as him, but unfortunately for you, that wasn't the case. letting your mind get stuck in this trance as you watched him read one of his textbooks, you hadn't noticed him lift his head up, his eyes catching yours amongst the books.

blinking out of your little daydream, your breath caught in your throat as you realized you were directly making eye contact with jungwon, his eyes curious as to why you were looking at him from afar. you felt a jolt of surprise course through your body, momentarily freezing you in place. caught in the act of observing him from behind the bookshelves, you could feel your cheeks burning with embarrassment. however, instead of turning away or pretending nothing happened, jungwon's expression softened into a warm smile.

breaking the spell of shyness that held you captive, jungwon motioned for you to come closer. with a mix of hesitation and excitement, you cautiously emerged from your hiding spot, making your way towards the table where he sat. as you approached, he slid his books to the side, clearing a space for you to join him.

"Hey, I noticed you peeking at me from over there," jungwon said playfully, his voice laced with genuine curiosity. "Want to sit with me? We can study together."

"Oh.. Sure" you offered him a little smile that he was quick to reciprocate. jungwon had felt comfortable enough during the time that you guys had spent together, going over the last chapter the teacher had gone over. the conversation seemed to flow with ease, you'd steal glances once in a while, not quite believing that you were actually sitting face-to-face with the boy you had dreamt about all those years.

as time passed, you found yourself really setting in the comfort of his presence, some part of you wondering if this comfort was simply rooted in jungwon's social personality or was it really that you two had easily connected. the time to go was nearing and both of you had started to pack up your belongings, your heart sank a little at the knowledge that this might be a one-time thing. just as you were getting to say goodbye and make your way to class, jungwon grabbed your wrist, turning you back around.

"Hold up- This might sound random considering this was our first interaction but I understood my lesson so much better with this one-hour study session than what I've learnt all semester and if you want, we can meet here tomorrow again after classes. you're fun to talk to and quite cute" he chuckled the last part, trying to ease any discomfort you might be feeling.

your mind went blank. you had never, in a million years, expected him to ask to meet you again. slightly overjoyed, you eagerly blurted out a yes. jungwon laughing at your surprised face at your own self. and just like that, you guys had planned your first little date, unknown to both of you that years down the line you'd still be a prominent part of each other's life.

© miyu 2023 - do not copy, translate, repost or plagiarise my work anywhere !

[httplilyyy]

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 || 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐇 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐒𝐎𝐍

pairing: leah williamson x reader

summary: the mile high club has some new members

warnings: smut, swearing, suggestive themes, fingering (r giving & receiving), oral (r giving), overstimulation | minors dni

word count: 2.9k

a/n: i had two milky ways and this was the outcome.

woso masterlist

You had been planning this holiday since Leah had torn her ACL. You thought that she could use a well earned break during this time in her career.

At first Leah was a little apprehensive but she soon turned around and couldn't wait for this time away with you. You and Leah couldn't think of anything better. A little get away, just the two of you.

Sitting in the window seat, you placed your hand on Leah’s thigh. The defender looked towards you, her hand resting on top of yours. Turning your hand around, you intertwined your fingers together.

Leah gave your hand a squeeze with a gentle smile, the blonde bringing your hand up to her lips and giving it a soft kiss.

You let a small chuckle escape your lips, shaking your head at her antics. The plane around you shook as it began to take off, your hand tightening its hold on Leah’s.

It wasn’t out of fear, more so out of excitement, not being able to keep it contained. You were practically beaming from ear to ear and so was Leah.

Once the plane was in the air, you pulled a book from your bag and began to read. The blonde next to you huffed as she watched your eyes scan the page.

“Really?” Leah asked, her voice a little louder than the appropriate tone for an aeroplane.

“What?” You wondered, looking up from your book and into her eyes.

“I thought we were going to talk the whole time or something.” Leah said, making hand gestures as she spoke.

“We get to spend the next week together talking or something.” You replied, a teasing tone underlying your voice.

“But what about now?” Leah complained, sounding like a toddler.

“Fine, let me read to the end of the chapter, then I'm all yours.” You said, shaking your head with a huff but Leah didn’t care, happy with the fact you would pay attention to her.

Unfortunately for Leah, she seemed to underestimate how long the chapter actually was. She tried to occupy herself for the time being but it was no use, not finding anything to keep her mind distracted.

She looked at you once more before an idea popped into her head. She moved the armrest, separating your seats and placed her hand on your thigh.

At first you thought nothing of it, until she started to move it higher and higher.

“Leah.” You said warningly, looking up from your book for a split second.

“What?” Leah questioned, feigning innocence before leaning closer to your ear. “Just read your book, darling.”

Her fingers danced against your inner thighs, Leah watching how your chest rose and fell at an increased rate with each movement she made.

With the hand that was on your thigh she pulled your legs apart, stopping once she noticed you weren’t interested in your book.

“Keep reading or I'll stop.” Leah whispered in your ear, pulling the book back up.

You keep one hand on the book whilst the other goes to the seat, gripping it with all your might. You gasp as she places heavy kisses on your neck and after a few seconds your gasps intensify turning into breathy moans.

Your eyes clench shut as she moves her hand into your pants. Too busy kissing your neck she doesn't notice you have long forgotten the book.

You move your neck to the side, allowing Leah more access and choke back a moan as she pressed her fingers against your clit.

As she slips her hand lower, you spread your legs a little wider. She continues her ministrations on your clit causing you to release a filthy groan, accompanied with a whisper of her name.

“Leah, someone could see us.” You moan out, biting your lip to keep yourself quiet.

“Only if you don’t stay quiet.” Leah husked, her teeth nipping below your ear.

Even though you were loving every second of what Leah was doing, you still needed more. Bucking your hips and placing your hand on her wrist, you try to get her to move where you need her the most.

Obeying your silent request, Leah slipped two fingers inside of you. A ripple of pleasure soared through your body, making you tilt your head back into the chair. A moan threatened to escape your lips but Leah quickly covered it up with a kiss.

She curled her fingers, hitting a certain spot causing you to moan against her lips. She repeated the action again and again, making it harder for you to stay quiet.

You pushed your head further back when you felt Leah’s fingers push harder into you, her palm pressed against your clit.

“God, Leah.” You groaned, pulling her in by the neck and into a deeper kiss.

With every curl of her fingers you thrust your hips forward to meet her, desperately wanting to cum. You could soon feel your muscles contract, breathing becoming more uneven and shaky with each passing second.

“Go on baby, cum for me.” Leah said against your lips, smirking as she watched your body convulse with pleasure.

After you came down from your high, you looked at Leah with utter disbelief. She slowly took her fingers out of your pants, not breaking eye contact, and licked her fingers clean.

“Stand up.” You said as you got up yourself.

“What?” Leah asked, looking up at you from her seat.

“Up.” You repeated and this time she did as she was told.

You slid past her and took a hold of her hand, pulling her into the bathroom. You moved Leah in front of you, the force you used made her fall onto the toilet seat. Closing the door behind you, you looked at the blonde with what only could be described as want.

You placed a hand around her neck, using your thumb to tilt her head up to look at you before you crashed your lips down onto hers.

She moaned into your mouth, her hands moving to your waist but you pulled away, stopping her actions.

“You don’t get to touch me,” you said sternly, holding her hands away from your body, “not after that stunt you just pulled.”

“But-” Leah protested.

“No chance. Now it’s your turn to be quiet.”

You pulled her up from the toilet and leant her against the sink, trapping her body between your arms.

Leah placed her hands on your shoulders, gripping the fabric that covered them but you removed them with your hands, placing them on the counter behind her.

You began to place kisses along her neck, occasionally leaving small marks on her skin. Whilst you continued to kiss and suck, you soon found her pulse point. A loud moan elicited from her lips, one that she was unable to contain.

Trying to keep Leah quiet, you pull her closer, her eager and hungry teeth clashing into yours as she kisses you. Your tongue pushes past her lips, holding all power over her in the bruising kiss.

Your roaming hands squeezed at her thighs, nails digging into them making her sigh into your mouth and without any warning, you pushed two fingers inside of her.

Pulling away breathlessly, your eyes are met by her swollen lips and darkened eyes. You nudged her legs apart with a kick of your foot, the blonde not even trying to fight the action as it allowed you more access.

“You look so pretty right now.” You breathed, watching as Leah became a moaning mess.

You curl your fingers, hitting the spot that you know makes her breath shudder whilst your other hand palmed over her shirt-covered breast, pinching and squeezing her nipple through the fabric.

“Fuck y/n.” Leah whispered through heavy breaths, moving her hips with the rhythm of your fingers in a chase for her climax, fucking herself onto your hand desperately.

Your hand made its way up to her face, holding her jaw between strong fingers, “You gotta be quiet, baby.”

Leah nodded, not trusting her voice enough to speak. Her legs began to shake from her soon approaching orgasm, her eyes squeezing closed and lips falling open.

“Eyes. Open.” You muttered, staring into them when she obeyed.

The look in your eyes was enough to pull Leah over the edge, cumming onto your fingers until it dripped down to your knuckles. Her hot forehead, slicked with sweat, pressed against your shoulder with her teeth biting into the nape of your neck to quell the grunt at the back of her throat.

You helped Leah ride through her orgasm, wrapping an arm around her waist to hold her steady as she calmed her breathing. But you didn’t stop there.

The defender was going to say something but was cut off by you kissing her. You started to move your fingers again and Leah nearly collapsed from the gesture.

Her skin still tingling and overly sensitive from the previous orgasm. Leah’s body stuttered as you dragged your fingers through her folds.

With a slight dip of your fingers, she let out a lewd moan. Her hand moving down to your forearm, nails digging into your skin as her hips instinctively bucked at your touch.

You pressed your thumb down onto her clit, relishing in the way her eyes almost rolled into the back of her head at the action before coming back to focus on you.

Leah bit down on her lip to suppress what she was sure would be another borderline embarrassing moan.

“You gonna cum again?” You whispered, dragging your teeth along the lobe of her ear.

With the way your hand was working over her sensitive clit, Leah struggled to think of anything to say.

“Come on, you were pretty vocal earlier, what happened?”

This time Leah couldn't contain a groan, her hips beginning to rock almost of their own accord along with the lazy circling of your thumb over her clit.

You could feel her beginning to clamp around your fingers, a noticeable tremble to her body and it was obvious she was close.

Leah’s legs tightened around your arm, making it hard for you to move. Her head was thrown back and her hair was stuck to her forehead. Sweat dripped down her neck as she tried to chase after her high.

With one final curl of your fingers and a firm press of your thumb against her clit, she arched her back off the sink. Her eyes screwed shut, body shuddering as her second orgasm washed over her.

You pulled your fingers out of her, Leah letting out a small whine at the loss. Kissing her softly, you began to trail down from her lips to her jaw, neck, collarbone and then to the valley of her breasts.

You lifted up the bottom of her top to place kisses to her stomach. Leah looked down at you, her hands tangled in your hair.

Kissing just above her waistline, you tugged the elastic of her joggers back slightly when she stopped you. She grabbed your wrist lightly, causing you to look up and into her eyes.

“I- I can’t.” Leah said breathlessly, shaking her head from side to side.

Leah pulled your wrist up and the rest of your body came with it, allowing you to be face to face with her.

“Turn around.” You muttered, placing your hands on her waist.

Confused, Leah did as she was told, her back now flushed with your front. Your lips ghosted her neck as you trailed a hand up to her jaw.

“Look at yourself.” You said, tilting Leah’s face upwards so she looked at herself in the tiny mirror.

Moving your hands back to her waist, you placed them on the elastic of her joggers. Pulling the fabric down, you revealed her soaked panties.

Pushing them aside, you teased your fingers through her folds. She flinched at the touch but a satisfied moan soon tumbled from her lips once you easily slid a finger into her.

Bringing one hand up to hold the back of your neck, Leah pulled you down to press your lips against the side of her jaw and along her throat.

Her eyes fluttered closed, pushing down against your hand. Leah found herself a moaning mess as your fingers worked over her.

Realising she had closed her eyes you pulled away, leaving Leah breathless and aching. She tried to protest, but you shushed her before she was able to get a word out.

“Uh-uh, what did I say?”

“To look at my-myself.” Leah moaned, her thighs shaking as you teasingly slapped her clit.

“Good girl.” You whispered hoarsely.

Slipping two fingers inside Leah, she couldn’t contain the whines falling from her lips.

With every move you made Leah’s body reacted to you; the loud moans and gasps accompanying her restless movement of her hips only made you want her more.

“D-don’t stop, please don’t stop. I’m so close, fuck, so close.” Leah moaned, watching as beads of sweat dripped down the side of her face.

“You gonna cum?” You asked, voice dripping with arousal.

Leah nodded her head frantically, her eyes never leaving her own.

“Words, baby. I need you to use your words.”

“Yes! Fuck, yes, I’m gonna cum.”

Leah’s breathing quickly picked up in pace as the stimulation became greater, her back arch, her bum pressing into your front.

You placed your thumb on her clit and the added sensation made Leah feel as if she was on cloud nine.

Leah’s toes curled, body pushing onto your hand, a loud moan erupted from the back of her throat as her climax finally came.

Once Leah finally recomposed herself she turned around to face you. Her lips were slightly parted, letting short breaths pass them.

“That was-”

“Oh, I'm not done yet, baby.” You smirked, dropping to your knees.

You pulled her panties down to her ankles, trailing kisses all the way down and paying attention to her exposed skin before moving down to place teasing pecks above her clit.

Your tongue flicked her clit and a sudden ripple of pleasure and pain soared through Leah’s body. She squeezed your head between her legs already feeling sensitive from her climax.

Although she was in some discomfort, pleasure soon took over and the moan she released was long and loud, she couldn't have stopped it even if she tried.

“Quiet, sweetheart. We don’t want anyone to hear us, do you?” You mumbled against her clit, locking your eyes as you looked up at her.

She shook her head, biting on her bottom lip. One of her hands tangled itself in your hair whilst the other slipped under her top to play with her breasts.

Leah’s eyes fluttered shut as she succumbed to the pleasure she was feeling. She moved one of her legs over your shoulder, allowing you to get a better angle.

Her skin was covered in goosebumps, hips moving in time with your tongue to chase her building orgasm.

Leah gave a particularly harsh tug on your hair causing you to let out a groan into her core.

The vibrations reverberated throughout Leah’s body and shockingly tipped her over the edge. Only when Leah whined at the overstimulation on her center, you detach yourself from her core and peppered small, loving kisses up her body.

“You okay?” You questioned, placing kisses along Leah’s jaw.

Leah was struggling to focus, panting for breath as her ears rang with the pulsing of blood and her hammering heart beat.

You gave a small chuckle, descending down the blonde's neck, kissing, biting and licking carefully on her pulse point and leaving a small hickey that would fade away in a few hours.

Kissing your way down to her thighs, you grab a hold of her panties and joggers, sliping them back up her legs.

“Perfect.” You mutter with a gentle kiss to her lips.

A knock on the door snapped the two of you out of your thoughts.

“Everything okay in there?”

“Yeah, yup. Everything’s good. J-just girl problems.” Leah rushed out, smacking you on the shoulder.

You hid your face in the crook of her neck, trying to contain your laughter. After hearing fleeting footsteps did you allow the chuckle to escape your lips.

“Just girl problems?” You teasingly questioned, raising an eyebrow at the girl in front of you.

“Oh I’m sorry, did you want me to tell them you were fucking my brains out?” Leah retorted, an unimpressed look on her face.

“Eh, I wouldn't have minded.” You replied with a shrug, a cocky grin forming on your lips.

“I can’t stand you.”

“More like you can’t stand without me. Have you noticed you’re leaning your entire body weight onto mine?”

“Oh shut up.”

“Uh huh. Let's get back to our seats.” You smiled, letting Leah go first.

Ignoring the questioning looks pointed at the two of you, you sat back in your seats just in time for the food to come round.

Leah took a water but you politely declined any food, saying you had just eaten.

“I hate you.” Leah mumbled, resting her head on your shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too.” You smiled, resting your cheek on top of her head.

You could not wait for this holiday and neither could Leah. Especially if it started off like this.

[jkslipppiercing]

Bumblebee 01 | jjk

• summary: Jeon Jungkook was your high school bully. What are you gonna do when your parents are forcing you to marry him as the country's most well-known CEO?

• pairing: ceo!jk x reader, high school bully!jk (more to come in upcoming chapters cuz i dont wanna spoil anything.)

• genre: enemies to lovers, slowburn, high school bully to lover, arranged marriage, CEO/billionare romance, marriage of convenience.

• warnings: cursing. choking. tiny fluff. baby angst.

• WC: 3.5k

• a/n: make sure to read the teaser so everything makes sense ♡ please dont hesitate to send me an ask and tell me what you think! happy reading <3

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index.

previous/next

"Y/N! Can you fucking stop for a minute?" Jungkook yelled after you as you stomp away from the ballroom, where the company event was advancing.

Well, long story short, you made a scene at the event earlier that evening. You were so exasperated about your parents planning something behind your back, and making your decisions on your behalf, that you just- ran. You ran away. You couldn't take it anymore, too many people, too many noises, too many things happening all at once.

You were practically suffocating. So taken aback by the sudden new piece of information, that your breath caught in your throat. Speaking of which...

As you resume your stomping, you realize that the steps that have been following you for the past 15 minutes suddenly stop. You halt, just when you hear Jungkook pant; "Can we talk? Please?"

He takes a few steps toward you, his long strides causing him to end up just a few inches behind you. He's close enough, you can sense his presence as he places his hand on your waist. "How do your tiny legs move so goddamn fast?" He chuckles, the breathy action rising goosebumps on your neck.

Snap out of it, Y/N!

You turn around, and when your eyes meet his galaxy ones, you just about take in your surroundings.

You walked away far enough into a quiet neighborhood. The type where there are a few townhouses lined up on either side of the street. The type where flickering stoplights provide dim- somewhat romantic- lighting. But this isn't romantic for you, not in the least. This is Jungkook you’re talking about.

You take a deep breath as you struggle to find your voice. "First of all, Jeon, my legs aren't tiny." okay...that was weak as hell...goddamnit.

Your face blushes a deep shade of crimson when you realize how weak of a comeback that was. Almost 1st grade shit.

Your eyebrows scrunch in irritation after Jungkook places his hand on your waist yet again, forcing you closer to him. "Oh, yeah?" You almost stumble in the process, causing him to smirk in response, "They look pretty tiny to me, bumblebee."

You push him away as you try to distance yourself from him. "Don't fucking call me that." You seethe, he laughs. The movement of his lips catches you off guard. It sounds so graceful that you let yourself get lost in the moment- in Jungkook; his chocolate eyes that hold as much as the galaxy holds in terms of beauty. His lips, the little arch of a bow on the top lip resting on top of the fuller, lower one. The slope of his nose, the messy ruffle of his hair, he's just so...ethereal.

Your eyes soften as you take his beauty in, and your lips lift in a small adoring smile. Suddenly, the world melts away as you truly take the time to bask in his beauty. You can't help it- you were never able to control your facial expressions. One look at the man before you, and all your troubles disappear- as if they were never there- as soon as your eyes rest on his magnificent features. Features that could have very possibly been sculpted by the gods and gifted by the heavens themselves.

Now, Jungkook is the one that's caught off guard. "What?" He blushes. He fucking blushes. A light rosy pink kisses his cheeks just when his eyes grow double the size. You could've never imagined a more adorable sight than this. This whole scene is unbelievable. So unbelievable that you want to forget how mad you were at jungkook, and that you had to marry him in- oh my god! How the hell could you forget?!

"There's no way in hell I'm marrying you." You rush out.

All traces of the earlier blush on Jungkook's cheeks vanish as his face contorts to form a frown. "Fucking hell." He scoffs. "You've become even more annoying than ever, huh?" He glares at you in disbelief.

You return the glare with utmost disgust as you sneer; "Fuck you, Jeon Jungkook. I hate you." The words roll off your tongue tasting bitter. They've always said that the truth tastes bitter though...right?

"Likewise." He answers.

"Y/N, can I come in?" Your mother's muffled voice resounds behind your closed bedroom door.

"Ugh. I feel like shit." You mumble as you slip further under the sheets of the bed, nevertheless shouting a response, "What is it, Mom?"

You've been locked in your room for the whole day, refusing to interact with your family, and avoiding all three of them.

Turns out, your brother, Mingyu, knew about it all along. He was all up for you marrying Jungkook, considering Jungkook was incredibly popular back in the high school days, and even more so now. He claims that not only will you gain even more clout as a CEO's daughter, but you'll also become a billionaire's wife. "All your needs will be fulfilled", "Your parents know best", "Jungkook will treat you right"...a bunch of crap, and you're having none of it.

"Y/N. This behavior is unacceptable coming from a girl of such high responsibility." Your mother starts. "What will you do all day?! Sit in this crappy room and do nothing? Not on my watch, young lady. You have a whole lot of planning to do, and I'm having none of this crap." She finishes off with her hands on her hips as she frowns down at your slumped figure, your head resting against the headboard.

"You think it's fair of you to treat me like this when you were planning to marry me off to somebody without my consent?" You frown. You had a point, nobody can deny. In this society, arranged marriages resembled ancient relics from an outdated history. No one did that anymore, nor were they interested in the concept. Consent, people. Consent.

"Y/N, I don't think you quite understand the position we were in. Some things happened that you...still don't know of." Excuse you? There's more? "I want you to hear me out until I finish what I have to say. Please be patient." Well, there goes your heartbeat at 150 per minute. You probably need to go to a cardiologist.

"First off, based off of the analytics of HG enterprise- marketing, sales, and publicity- the analysts estimated about a year before the company goes bankrupt." Woah. That was not what you were expecting your mother to say. Your dad had always boasted about how successful HG was, so where is all of this coming from?

"But why? I thought it was doing fine?" Your confusion is beyond eminent on your features at this point, the earlier irritation long gone, and reciprocated with intrigue. Your mother takes a deep breath before she continues; "Unfortunately, there came a time when no agencies would accept any collaboration with us, claiming our concept to be too cliché or overused." She purses her lips.

HG: Heterogeneity; the quality or state of being diverse in character or content. At first, HG Enterprise was well-accepted into the industry for its wide diversity of lingerie. Generally, many women often complained about not finding the right size of lingerie, or not being satisfied with the designs as they were always too bland or too wild. Although, with HG Enterprise being an open-ended brand with various options to choose from, there was never an issue, which is why this issue is hard to digest.

"After the company did well based on the concept for the past years, modeling agencies only now started showing dissatisfaction regarding collaborations. To this day, the conflict seems rather peculiar as it doesn't seem logical, but nothing makes sense in the fashion/business industry, as they say."

"As much as this breaks my heart to hear, where does the part where you all lied to me come into play?" Your dad loved the company, so of course, you're not going to be happy hearing about the business going downhill.

You're about to question your Mom again, but she speaks, "Just when your dad was considering selling the company off to someone and retiring-", You interrupt, "Wait, what? Selling it?" Your eyes bulge. Your dad loved the company with all his heart, considering he built it all from scratch and had no base to start with. He did it all on his own, so giving it up must be hard for him.

"Let me talk, young lady." Your mother shushes you as she resumes her explanation. "Out of all the things your dad expected to happen, it wasn't Jeon Jungkook contacting him himself, suggesting an offer when HG was teetering on the edge of bankruptcy."

Your eyebrows almost shoot to your hairline. "Your father contacted him back, requesting a meeting, and he immediately agreed. When they met up, Mr. Jeon's offer was quite generous...and surprising." Your mother tries to hide a smile as you straighten further and wait quietly for her to drop the bomb, resembling a five-year-old with big eager eyes.

"Mr. Jeon offered a merger." Oh.

"What? Why would he want a merger? How would it benefit his agency?" Now you're even more confused.

"He claims that the merger would be of major success. He wants to bring back the 'diversity in people and lingerie' by advertising models of all different races, sizes, and beauty, from his agency, wearing all different designs of lingerie from HG. He mentioned it would benefit both ends and would indulge the concept of diversity even more nowadays, as he says that our society is in dire need of such a message." You bite back a smile. Way to go Mr. Jeon. That's clever as hell.

"While your dad was all up for the idea, saying it would sweep HG back to its feet and give it a greater push than ever, there was a catch." She hesitates. "They just keep on coming, huh?" You scoff.

Your mother waves you off, "Your dad is getting old Y/N. He's forgetting things, he lacks his previous abilities, and he's slacking in this field of work. After 50 years of working his ass off, as much as he hates to admit it, he knows he needs to quit and pass everything on to you."

Your eyes bulge for the 100th time, "Me? Why me? What about Mingyu?"

"Oh, honey, Mingyu is still young. He's only twenty-two and he still doesn't understand the meaning of responsibility. He's still got a long way to go, but you're already mature enough to handle things on your own." Her eyes soften, glistening as her own words seem to get her emotional.

"Oh, Mom...c'mere." You pull your mom in for a hug while both of you are sitting on the bed and rub her back gently.

She pulls away with a deep breath and continues. "For the merger to happen, we need a reason for it, and that reason is your marriage to Jungkook. Does it all click, now?" She waits for you expectedly.

"Yes, but I still need time to process everything. I can't digest the fact that i have to marry Mr. Jeon out of all people-" You realize your slip up a bit too late.

"Why? What's so horrible about Mr. Jeon?", she squints her eyes suspiciously at you. "He seems like a wonderful person. Quite humble for a person in his rank." She nods approvingly at the statement.

Oh, Mom, how I wish you knew. Your mom never knew about Jungkook bullying you in high school, so she suspects nothing. Innocent, oblivious soul. Jungkook is the cockiest bastard alive. Too much of an asshole for his own good.

You laugh awkwardly, "He...um...yeah, he's not that bad. What I meant was I couldn't possibly marry a stranger, you know?" Will she take the bait? "Oh! Well, that's why you have about six months to get to know him better!" She beams. Thank god.

“But, Mom…There’s still one thing that I don’t understand.” Your eyebrows knot in thought. Your mother nods in silent demand for you to go on. “Is Mr. Jeon okay with marrying me?” Your mother smiles. “Why don’t you ask him that yourself?”

"Put something revealing on. Mr. Jeon is coming for dinner in about...thirty minutes."

Thirty minutes?!

"What?! Why didn't you tell me before?! No way in hell I'm getting ready that fast. You all go ahead and enjoy dinner." You purse your lips sassily as you turn around in your bed and cover your head with the sheets.

"Y/L/N Y/N, if you don't get up in 3..." You're a twenty-six-year-old woman, why is she treating you like a child? "2..." The warning tone alarms you, so you straighten quickly enough it would've given you whiplash. You knew your Mom well enough not to disobey her. She was a goddamn psychopath. "I'm up!" You spring out of your bed and into the bathroom, hearing the faint sound of your Mom chuckling as she exits the room. She leaves you be, and that's when you realize...Jungkook is coming here in thirty minutes.

Ding Dong!

The chime of the bell has butterflies raging in your stomach. He’s here.

You finish touching up your makeup and fix your dress into place, then head for the stairs. You were never one to dress to impress, but you just couldn’t pass out on an opportunity to show Jungkook that the fragile and frail bumblebee he used to bully in high school is long gone. There stands a queen bee in its stead.

Your outfit consists of a plain pastel green dress that was simple, yet elegant. It makes your eyes pop and magnificently highlights your facial features. It accentuates your curves in such a way that would’ve had sixteen-year-old-you blushing. It makes you feel powerful- at least, powerful enough to face the man downstairs.

Your heels announce your arrival as you descend the stairs, making your way down to the dining room. Jungkook comes into view as you descend the last two steps, and when you reach the end of the staircase, you’re planted directly in front of him.

Freshly shaven, suit-clad Jungkook meets your eyes as he seems to marvel at your beauty. He looks star-struck, in a way. Like your magnificence might stab at his heart if he looked at you longer than intended.

He’s wearing his signature all-black suit and chunky boots, which add a sprinkle of Jungkook’s personality to make it look like his. His hair isn’t in the usual messy ruffle it’s always in, but this time, he slicked it back to expose his forehead.

“Hey.” Your voice surprises you with its breathiness.

Get a grip, Y/N! Shut up.

“Yeah, um, hi.” Jungkook stutters. Is he flustered? You really can’t tell.

“You clean up pretty nice, Mr. Jeon.” You bite back a smile. He really does.

“I know.” You roll your eyes. He’s such an ass.

“I was literally trying to be nice for once.” You scowl. “I take it back, you’re, like, the biggest eyesore I’ve set my eyes on in a long while.” You smirk in achievement as a silver of Jungkook’s irritation shines through his poor attempt of a poker face.

Just as you notice Jungkook open his mouth to respond, your Mom’s voice cuts through the silence. “Come on, lovebirds! There’s enough time for chit-chat after we eat dinner!"

"Shall we?" Jungkook offers his hand in invitation, so you lock it with yours as you head toward the dining room. As you go to take a seat beside your brother, he surprises you by saying; "Y/N, I believe it is only eligible for you to dine beside your future husband." Oh, how much you'd love to smack that grin off his stupid face. "Right." You say awkwardly.

As you round the table to sit beside Jungkook, he hurries out of his seat to pull the chair out for you to settle in. You slowly and thankfully thank him as you take a seat. In conclusion, the whole thing feels super awkward.

You were now sitting opposite your brother, with Jungkook beside you and your Mom facing him. Your dad sits at the head of the table.

Jungkook is the first to shatter the deafening silence, “I’d like to start this gracious evening by thanking Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N for taking the time to invite me to this dinner.” He smiles politely.

Something you’ve noticed recently is that Jungkook acts like a robot when he’s around your parents. His movements are automatic, and his eyes lack the usual mischievous glint they possess whenever you’re with him. It’s weird, almost like he’s trying his best to not mess up, or maybe it’s because he actually wants to be a part of this family.

Jungkook was raised by his dad after he accidentally got a model knocked up. The model- now Jungkook’s Mom- was working at his dad’s agency at the time, and had slept with him for money. This, of course, is heartbreaking to hear, as he seems to treat your Mom like his own; always bowing down to her purely out of respect, speaking to her extra formally, seeming as though he thinks he’ll mess up if he didn’t. The thought alone makes you tear up.

“Of course, darling, it’s always a pleasure. You can count on us, we’ll always be here for you- whether you like it or not, young man, you’re stuck with us!” Your mother’s words have you all chuckling as the dinner resumes.

Your Mom’s care towards Jungkook is eminent as she places extra food on his plate, shushing him when he complains about being full, and urging him to eat more. You feel pity toward the man as your mom can be quite a stubborn woman, so you stand up and look at Jungkook, “Mr. Jeon-“ Jungkook interrupts you. “Please, just call me Jungkook.” “Okay, Jungkook, will you come fetch the salt with me from the kitchen?” You wait expectedly.

Jungkook looks confused but agrees nonetheless. As he gets up and you both make your exit from the dining room, your brother takes the salt shaker off of the table and hides it in the chair next to him when your parents' eyes are on you, so no one notices. “But we have the salt right-“ Your Mother goes to reach for the salt, only for her eyes to fall on an empty space on the table. “Here. Oh, I thought I put it right there. I guess I forgot.”

“Don’t worry, Mom. They’ll take care of it.” Mingyu smiles to himself.

“I thought you wanted to get the salt?” Jungkook looks at you with big doe eyes and a pouty mouth as you make your way to the porch located outside the kitchen.

“I just saved your ass, I deserve a ‘thank you’.” You snicker. The chilly breeze of the summer night cools you down. You can finally breathe.

“Well, thank you.” Jungkook says as he comes up beside you. You hum in return. “Now that we’re alone, I think we should use the time to properly talk. You know…the merger, the marriage, you moving in…” What? No way in hell. Not happening.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. No. I’m not doing this.” You turn around to leave, but Jungkook’s hand stops you. Just like two nights ago, his hand circles around your waist and pulls you to him. The position has your black flush against his chest as you face the door. “Stop fucking running away from me every time.” His head dips into the crook of your neck as his husky voice reaches your ears. He breathes in your scent, his nose nudging against your skin. You should push him away, but he feels like heaven. You close your eyes in appreciation for the contrast of sensations you’re experiencing right now; the cold air kisses your cheeks, but Jungkook’s body warmth has you feeling hot. Your head swirls in the moment, unable to think correctly. You’re incapable of anything at this point.

“What makes you think you’re in a position to order me around?” You say in an implicit challenge. You’re provoking him, you know that. You simply want to push his buttons and see where his limits lie, only because you always knew how much of a sucker Jungkook was for a good challenge. His hand rests on your waist as the other snakes up your body, finally resting on your neck. You take a deep breath when you feel him do so. “Don’t tempt me, sweetheart. I just want to talk.” He says lowly. You hum out a response, and as soon as you do so, his hand tightens, barely cutting off your air supply. He loosens his hold on your neck after a couple of seconds, his voice sounding behind you as it sends chills down your spine. “Use your words, Y/N.” You can practically hear the challenge in his tone just as you could’ve done in yours. You take a deep breath before uttering a quiet “Okay.” In contrast to your thundering heartbeat. Your feelings are raging, and there’s a wet pool of arousal between your legs in dire need to be taken care of. If Jungkook could turn you on this much without having to be inside you, he was a massive step up from all the other men you’ve been with.

Jungkook steps away from you slowly but surely, and you turn around just in time to see him smirk in triumph. You scoff in return.

This is about to be a long conversation.

next

[cairavende]

My wonderful girlfriend got me Gideon the Ninth for Christmas and I realized why should I just give Worm recaps? Let's read some Locked Tomb! (We'll see how this format works, maybe I'll adjust it. Specifically might break stuff down into smaller segments instead of full acts, but I didn't think of doing this until after I had read all of act 1.)

Gideon the Ninth Act 1 (chapter 1 through 8) thoughts:

This book is so gay oh my god

Like, it's gay in ways I can't even explain. I love it.

Harrow beats the shit out of Gideon in chapter 2 and I don't know if I've ever seen someone get beat up in a more gay way.

"Oh Griddle! But I don't even remember about you most of the time." ROLL A FUCKING DECEPTION CHECK HARROW! You are saying this standing in the middle of the field you spent all night burying bones in just to foil her escape in the most dramatic way. You can't stop remembering her.

Gideon is the most herbo of herbos. I fucking love her. I love reading her PoV. She just knows punch and stab with sword and if those don't work than she'll just do them harder.

Also Gideon is SO fucking gay. Dear god. Dulcinea faints and Gideon turns off all though. HELP PRETTY GIRL. Nothing else.

Ok I could just make this whole thing "EVERYTHING IS GAY" but there is technically more than that.

I love how weird everything is and how little explanation is given. I don't want pages of exposition, I want to learn the world as it comes at me! This is perfect.

And just the very nature of things that seem weird not being given more than a passing thought in the book is information. Something may seem wild to the reader but it's so normalized to the characters that they wouldn't even think about the idea of it being different.

Lack of explanation also helps really show how much of a meathead Gideon is. Do the readers get to learn details about this thing? Only if it is a weapon, has tits, or Gideon is forced to listen while Harrow explains it. Otherwise no, why the fuck would Gideon spend her precious few brain cells on thinking?

And even if Gideon is forced to listen as Harrow explains it, the readers might not learn much cause Gideon might stop listening. I love her.

Aiglamene is wonderful. Crux is fine but I like her more.

Poor Gideon just wants a big sword that she can swing hard. It's not like she can't use a rapier. But why when she can go big sword?

SO MUCH CATHOLICISM

As someone who once was Catholic and then realized I was actually not a straight man, but instead a lesbian, I am in deep.

And the fucking slang used! Or whatever would be the right term. The shit they say! I love it. Just the weird sci-fi far future space necromancer universe and then suddenly "Are you asking me to . . . throw her a bone?", "Gideon had always known that this would be how she went: gangbanged to death by skeletons.", "Don’t hypothetically shove stuff up my butt again, it never does any good.", "Lo! A destructed ass.", "Well we were developing common sense, she studied the blade.", "Double Bones with Doctor Skelebone."

House of the First appears to be Earth. I kinda assume the House of the Ninth is Pluto, even though things obviously aren't in order given that the Seventh and Sixth are closer to the sun. Of course, I'm kinda expecting this to not technically be this solar system at all.

Undying Emperor, King of Resurrection, I Have Ten-Thousand Titles, Boss First, etc etc hasn't been on "Earth" in over nine thousand years. I wanna know MORE.

And the fucking Ninth House has their own prayer! Everyone else has one that the Ninth didn't know and then the Ninth had one that no one else knows! GIMME MORE!!!!

Also again, so many Catholicism metaphors or comparisons or whatever!

I could go on forever but gonna end this one with OH MY GOD SHE FOUND SUNGLASSES I LOVE HER. Fucking "I came prepared, my sweet." and "But then you couldn't have admired . . . these!" as she whips on the sunglasses. God. I nearly died.

[meguvmii]

I still want you.

Chapter 5

⤿ Satoru Gojo × reader

Falling in love with the Satoru Gojou wasn’t an easy task. You truly love him but will this come to an end?

Warning/ tags; angst, profanity, smoking, cursing, smut, cheating.

Genre; angst, cheating, infidelity, jik, Gojou × reader, baby daddy gojou.

Notes: the tag-list is open if you'd like to be mentioned everytime i update just send me a message, also excuse my writing their might be some typos I didn’t edit :(.

5k words

Previous chapter ⤏ Next chapter

Within a short period of time, three days had passed. You asked your mother in advance if she would be able to take care of Sumire for a few weeks, after which she would fly with him to Hawaii on the day of the wedding. "I want you to be good to your grandmother, okay?" Scratching his head, you bent down to give him a hug. When you embraced him tightly and kissed his forehead, you couldn't help but frown. Although your son was going with your mother, you were still concerned that something would go wrong. "Listen to your grandmother and do not cause any problems for her." Satoru kissed his forehead and smiled before going over to you.

You had a long conversation, agreeing that a divorce was in your best interest despite your efforts to salvage your relationship. After discussing the cheating for hours, you finally agreed not to bring it up until the divorce papers have been finalized. It also meant that you had to forcefully act normal around your family members and everyone else, but once you were alone, you would stop acting normal. As a result of respecting one another's boundaries, you requested that Satoru no longer sleep in the same bed as you, see you change, or kiss you.

It was difficult to behave normally with your husband next to your mother after he cheated on you. The key was to maintain a cordial demeanor while preventing your emotions from showing. You kept your conversations with him brief and focused on neutral topics. Also, you frequently excused yourself from the room when your emotions became out of control.

Despite the fact that this was a difficult decision, you both knew it was the right one for each other. You recalled yesterday that you no longer had any feelings for each other after Satoru asked you and your sister if his mistress could attend the wedding. Your sister was talking about how she needed one more person but you couldn't come up with anyone. Although you had already contacted Shoko and Utahime, you still lacked one person. In disbelief of what he had done, you stormed off, anger coursing through your veins. Satoru had no effect on you after that discussion. As a result, you had completely forfeited your chance to be Satoru's love of his life again. At that point you didn't care if she came or not you just wanted to get this over with.

"Bye mom!" You kissed her on the cheek and waved goodbye to Sumire as he perked up at the window, seeing his white hairs twirling in the wind. You were silent throughout the entire ride to the airport, so silent that you were occasionally able to hear each other breathe. Having nothing to do, you grabbed your phone and clicked on the message you just received.

Toji Zen'in; Did you know that I was invited to be one of your sister's groomsmen? I also hope you are doing well.

As you read his text, you couldn't help but smile, and biting your lip, you felt a sense of comfort. Satoru kept his eyes glued to the road, not even glancing at your phone to see who you were texting or checking on your status.

Y/n; Thats great! I am looking forward to seeing you there :) Also, I am doing well at the moment.

When Toji replied, you purposely turned on the ringer to see if Satoru would be curious enough to see who you were speaking with. To your demise he actually was. In a quick glance at your phone, you could see him bite his tongue in an attempt to not speak. After all who cares if your texting another man it's not like he didn't do anything worse. Occasionally you would let out a small laugh in response to Toji's response. Satoru gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands. Observing him, you could see that his eyebrows were furrowed and that he had his jaw tightened up.

Toji Zen’in; I'm also bringing Megumi with me so we can finally have that "playdate" you wanted.

A second giggle escaped your lips, but despite the fact that Gojos veins were almost bursting at the seams, you were unable to stop yourself from smiling. "Stop doing that." You looked up at him, puzzled, and crossed your arms, as you stared at him in a state of confusion.

"Do what?" Counting the seconds until he responded, you licked your lips in preparation for what was to come. You couldn't help but scoff at his face when he acted like this. Why couldn't he abandon your feelings and go talk to his mistress? "Stop- you know what, nevermind." As he saw his breathing getting heavier and his composure slipping, you couldn't help but smile. Seeing you texting another man broke the heart of Gojo a bit. He didn't even understand why he was acting in such a way or why he was acting that way. As hard as he tried, he tried to come across as if he did not care, but at the same time, he did care.

"When we arrive don't expect me to act nice to her. In fact, you shouldn't even expect me to speak to her at all, since I won't." Scroozing, you rolled your eyes and stuck out your lips in despair. As for the person Satoru brought along on this stupid fucking trip, you didn't give a damn about who he brought with him, but who was he to think you would even glance at the person who cheated on you with Satoru? "She has a name y'know." You laughed at his response.

"I don't care." As you gazed at him, he flickered his angry eyes at you, obviously breaking eye contact first with you when he caught your gaze.  "As a matter of fact, her name is Jiyuu, just in case you need it." When you turned back to look at him, your eyes widened and you stared at him for a moment before deciding to turn away from him.

Emerging from the car, you couldn't help but notice that your friends were waiting for you two. "Shoko! Utahime!" you shouted, sprinting toward them and hugging them in embrace. You couldn't help but smile back at them when you saw their happy smiles.

He smiled. "Hmm, of course the two lovers are a little late." He walked behind you, hugging you tight and sticking his tongue out at Shoko as he walked past. As you let out a small giggle, you slapped his hand, giving him a slight grin. "Oh no, you know how kids are. I had to drop Sumire off at my mom's house and he was crying so I couldn't leave him like that." Utahime smiled as she grabbed Shoko by the arm and gently rested her head on her shoulders.

"Because we don’t have any children apart from you, we are unfamiliar with the nature of children." With a small laugh, you slapped Suguru on the back. Satoru couldn't help but stare as you laughed with your old highschool buddies. As soon as you saw Utahime and Shoko, he noticed that your mood had completely changed. Your eyes shone when they hugged you, and your lips tightened when you smiled at them.

"Where is Mei Mei?" As you tilted your head slightly, you observed some random person's hands blocking your view. Asserting her identity, you smiled. "Boo." As you turned around, you gave her a big hug. In a sense, Mei Mei was like an older sister to you.

As you grasped his hand, you tightened your grip on it.

Smiling, you placed your head on his shoulder. "Wait, we're missing Jiyuu," Your sister called out as she searched for the specific person you could not stand. As a taxi pulled up and she came out, you couldn't help but gasp. Her eyes lit up when Satoru saw her, and his eyes flickered to her before he looked down and realized he had made a serious error. Seeing your mood quickly change, he realized that he had made a mistake in bringing her along. As a result, you felt heavy and your emotions were scattered all over the place. Taking a deep breath, you fake smiled in front of Satoru before moving towards Shoko who was waiting patiently inside. "I'll let you two talk." you said.

"Hey!" Your heart ached as you heard her voice

Satoru remained silent as he waited for her to accompany him inside. Utahime and Shoko were the only two people who knew that there were three people involved in this marriage. Despite telling Shoko the day you discovered Gojo had cheated on you, Utahime was staying over that night and overheard everything that happened. She promised you not to tell anyone about Satoru's affair. Being the good friend she is she made sure to keep that promise.

"Are you all right?" She whispered, seeing your lips pursed, already sensing your distress. A pure act of betrayal. After reaching the airport and checking in, you were horrified to discover that you would have to sit next to Satoru during the entire flight. Immediately, Utahime and Shoko realized what was happening, looking at you with desperation. "I am sorry Satoru, but she will not be able to sit with you. I am taking your wife with me. I was wondering if you would mind swapping with her, Mei Mei?" You could feel Mei's disgust in her eyes and sighed softly.

"In that case, I will do it. You will not regret trading with me, Y/n. I know I won't regret it." When she realized that she would finally be able to sit with her lover, Jiyuu's mood had perked up. Shoko grabbed her hand as Utahimes looked on. "Wait a minute-" Her eyes widened as she realized Jiyuu would be sitting all by herself with Satoru."Okay thank you." You didn't even make eye contact with her. In your eyes, Satoru could see the betrayal flowing from your heart. "Let's go, we don't want to be late."

As you entered the airplane, you noticed a familiar face. "Toji?" After everything you had experienced, you were immediately perked up upon seeing the only male you were able to stand. Upon seeing you, he turned his head in your direction. When you saw his gentle smile, you felt a strange sensation in your heart. "Hey, where you sitting?" Pointing to where you were going to sit he couldn't help but put his hand on your shoulder. "Guess we're airplane buddies." Eyes stared at the back of your head as you spoke. Not caring if it was Jiyuu or Satoru you continued to walk to your seat. Feeling pure relief that you weren't going to sit with Satoru. Your eyes lit up upon seeing your favorite person for the first time. While carrying megumi, Toji woke him up so that he could say hello to you.

"How are you gumi?" In spite of your best efforts, you couldn't help but plant a small kiss on the child's head as you scrunched up your nose. With a gentle smile on your face, you ruffled his hair while stroking his head. The moment you finally sat down, you couldn't help but notice the laughter erupting behind you, as you took a quick glance behind you, you spotted your sister, Gojo, and Jiyuu laughing together. All of them seemed to be getting along well with each other. When you took a deep breath you turned to look at Toji, looking at his look of apologetic you knew exactly what he meant.

With Megumi sitting in the middle of you and Toji, talking about his fear of airplanes, you couldn't help but hold his tiny hand and interlock your fingers together. In preparation for takeoff, Megumi closed her small eyes. "Im scared." As Toji ruffled his hair, he comforted him, "Don't worry about it, okay? I'm here with you, as well as Y/N."

The plane took off before you knew it, with Megumi wiping away a couple of tears in the process. Carefully squeezing his cheek, you propped him up in your lap and caressed him gently. If you get into trouble, who cares? Your heart broke when you saw a child in distress, especially one so young as Sumire. His tiny hands encircled the waist of your body as Megumi cradled your stomach. Each time you caressed his hair, you pecked him on the top of his head with a small kiss. You were even more heartbroken after hearing Megumi call you mommy. "Mommy are we done yet?" Your eyes welled up with tears.

“You should go to sleep now, gumi." Hugging him closer you asked Toji to pass you a small blanket you had brought for yourself. Having gotten up, Toji opened the airplane compartment and handed you the beautiful blue blanket with cats on it. "Thank you." you replied, smiling back as you leaned your head against Tojis shoulder, slowly drifting off to sleep.

The sight of you and Toji broke Satoru's heart. "And then that happened, can you believe it Toru?" He turned his head towards Jiyuu and sighed. The nickname Toru was something you both came up with during your high school years. Continuing to watch you play with Megumi, he nodded his head. It warmed his heart to see you happy and not unhappy, as opposed to when you were with him. "Toru?" He totally missed Jiyuu's presence, since he was too busy staring at you while you were talking to Toji.

"Yes?" Looking at Jiyuu she was filled with disappointment, realizing he didn't even give her a second glance. Secretly, they were holding hands together since thanks to an unknown person next to Jiyuu they didn't have to worry about getting caught. She rubbed her eyes with her spare hand before placing her head on his shoulder. He couldn't help but stare at her. Watching how her eyes twitched when she got cold. Exactly as they used to when he slept over at your house. A smile spread across Satoru's face as he snuggled deeper.

"Yes gumi, go sleep honey." Noting the sparkle in your eyes while watching megumi cuddle closer to you, he could not help but scoff. As if he cared.

He had his so-called love of his life sitting beside him, so why would he care that you exchanged your seat just to not sit next to him. Upon seeing you so close to him, he began to doubt your credibility. His first thought was, "Did she have an affair with him?"." No, of course not, it was inevitable that anyone would fall in love with your ridiculous humor.

Though he tried to reassure himself that he felt nothing towards you, deep down he knew that he still loved you. Seeing you fall so quickly asleep with Megumi in your arms he couldn't help but feel a slight pain in his chest. When he arrived home some nights, he would see you and Sumire snuggled on the couch with the exact same blanket, or when Sumire would get up super early to jump on top of you and her during The Weeknd, and after that she would cuddle with him, bragging about Sumire being a better cuddler than him because Sumire allowed her to big spoon him.

But now that meant absolutely nothing to him, he had fell out of love so long ago. He considered meeting Jiyuu to be a blessing. Seeing her for the first time at that stupid party you were supposed to accompany him to. He initially thought it would be a one-night stand, but after seeing her multiple times, he fell in love with her. He still remembers the small quickie they had in the restroom before heading out acting like nothing happened. He knew things were going to end soon when he started missing important stuff just to meet up with his mistress at your beach house. The two of them drove three hours to your house just to spend the entire week together. During that week, he realized that he was in love with her. Seeing her run towards the beach he knew he felt it with her.

On that day, he told her everything, including that he was married and had a three-year-old child. At first Jiyuu felt betrayed telling Gojo to screw himself. To keep her, Satoru lied to her face and said that you had fallen out of love and were seeing someone else. He had told Jiyuu that things were officially done with you two.

That was a year ago.

Before you learned about his affair with Jiyuu, he had been seeing her for a full year and a half. He tried to end it with you multiple times but he couldn't find the strength to do it. He knew he couldn't do it when he saw your sleeping figure. Satoru didn't anticipate you finding out that weekend. He couldn't resist the urge to go see her after not seeing her for almost 3 weeks. The other women.

His eyes never left your sight. "Toru.." She tilted her head as she tried to catch his blank stare. Satoru snapped out of his thoughts, breathing in as he looked at his lovers face. "I'm cold," he sighed, taking off his sweater and giving it to Jiyuu, smiling she gave him a small peck on the lips before anyone noticed. Resting his head on top of hers he felt relieved.

After being jolted awake by the sudden turbulence, you sat up suddenly. You were struggling to breathe and staggered. Remembering that Megumi was asleep soundly, you cuddled closer to him. His eyes were glued shut seeing his long eyelashes you could tell he got it from his mother and not Toji. In your peripheral vision, you could see Toji sleeping soundly, he had moved to the center seat and placed his arm around your waist. A random person on the plane would've assumed that you two had a beautiful son and that you were a happy couple. Suddenly, your curiosity got the best of you and you glanced behind you. You can feel your heart breaking as soon as you see the scenery. They both fell asleep after Gojo gave Jiyuu his sweater. Observing how his eyebrow twitched and how his hair was messy, you could see Satoru breathe in and out.

Looking back forward you let a shaky and small whisper, 'at least he's happy.'

“Approximately 30 minutes from our destination, we will hand out snacks soon." The speaker woke up Megumi and Toji, both looking at you.

"Here, I'll take him from you." Grasping megumi Toji, he sat him down on his lap. In a spectacular display of strength, he wrapped his muscular arms around the sleepy 3 year old who had been complaining of hunger. "Thanks." Unbuckling the seat, you were relieved to see the bathroom was empty. You let go of Tojis' grip on your waist as you stood up. "If the lady comes, can she get me a sandwich?" You asked. With a nod, he agreed to buy you lunch.

Upon getting up, most passengers appeared to be fast asleep. While using the plane's bathroom, you noticed that the first class restroom was much different from the regular one. Thanks to your sister's husband, all of your first class tickets were purchased. A sudden feeling of nauseous hit you as you rubbed your stomach. When was the last time you ate? Before you knew it you threw up. Walking to the sink you washed your mouth grabbing the small mouth wash in the counter you made sure to wash your mouth 10x.

The nausea must've gotten you pretty bad. Exiting the restroom you were met with a familiar face. "Oh sorry," passing by her she grabbed your shoulder. Jiyuu had beautiful brown long hair. Her hair was tied up in a clip and her makeup was smudged a bit. "Please don't touch me." Refusing to make eye contact with her she scoffed . What the hell? Why was she so disturbed that you didn't let her touch you.

Rolling your eyes you sat down next to Toji, handing you the sandwhich you took a big bite. "Here have some." Giving a bite to the small child he bite it chewing with a big smile. You knew it must be hard for Megumi to grow up without a mother. He reminded you so much of Sumire you couldn't help but think maybe you could be a sort of mother figure towards megumi. "Don't chew with your mouth open." Grabbing a napkin Toji cleaned Megumis cheek. He had mayonnaise plastered all over his face. His cute green eyes looked up to you, giggling you ruffled his hair.

"No! I want mama!" crying megumi reached towards you. His small chubby hands trying to grasp your hair. He started whining smacking his dad for not letting him go with you. "C'mere its only 30 min until we land" Megumi started making a ruckus, wanting to be in your grasp and not Tojis he started kicking his legs hitting Toji. "Fine, you want Y/n? Don't be complaining when I don't carry you later." Rolling his eyes he handed Megumi to you. Seeing his pink tinted cheeks and watery eyes you smiled pinching his cheeks.

Before you knew it the plane was already landing, Megumi fast asleep on your arms you asked Toji if he could take out your small purse. Despite Megumi looking small he was quite heavy. Not minding his weight you told Toji you would carry him until you exited the airport. Standing up you rejusted megumi, his small arms wrapping around your neck. Burying his face on your neck you couldn't help but smile at him. Toji was admiring the scenery wondering if Megumi would be like this if his wife was still alive. Megumi hadn't been this clingy with anyone, always wanting to be with dad and no one else but I guess you must've won the little man's heart because he didn't let go at all.

"So cute!" Utahime smiled at you, grabbing Shoko to see the sleeping child in your arms. Satoru came behind you helping you with your luggage you quickly told him that you didn't need his help. "It's okay, Toji’s helping me." Satoru licked his teeth shaking his head he walked away, stuffing his hands in his pants. You could see his tall figure walk towards Suguru and Jiyuu, wrapping his long arm on Suguru shoulder.

"You need help with him?" Toji tilted his head pointing on the small child who was quietly snoring. Shaking your head no Toji placed his muscular arm on your waist helping you down the plane. Seeing megumi this clingy you already started missing your own son. Hoping everything was okay back at your moms house. "We only have 3 cars so please try your best to like where im assigning you all.” Your sister began naming who was going with who.

"Okay! Jiyuu your with me and my husband, Shoko and Utahime as well." Her eyes were filled with disappointment hoping she could sit with her lover. Unfortunately for her it wasn't going to work. "Toji, Y/N, and Satoru you're going with my husband sister and you can take megumi with you." The rest was a blur for you. Sitting with Satoru was already painful for you. At least you could sit with Toji and Megumi. 

Entering the car you let Toji in first, "Here take Megumi, and careful with his head okay?" Laughing you could hear Tojis deep voice his muscular chest moving. "It's not my first time sitting down in the car with my kid.” Sticking your tongue out you rolled your eyes. Sitting down next to you was Satoru. Basically you were stuck in the middle with Toji and Satoru. Grabbing the small child out of Tojis grasp you put him to sit on your lap. Playing with him he couldn't help but notice the white haired man staring at you.

"Hi, im Megumi," Smiling the little child tiled his head. Satoru stared at the smile child seeing how Megumi admired your face.

"Im Satoru Gojo, your "mommy's" husband." Looking at him when he called you mommy you scoot closer to Toji. What the fuck?

"No my daddy is with mommy." Looking at Satoru he furrowed his eyebrows, randomly hugging you. You could see that Gojo had clenched his jaw when the small toddler had said that. Scoffing gojo put his hand on megumi ruffling his tiny black hair. "No." Megumi shook his head reaching towards his dad. Toji couldn't help but laugh at the embarrassing scene going on.

Pursing your lips, you tried your best not to laugh at the white-haired man in front of you. You could tell Megumi didn't like Gojo already. When Toji viewed how Gojo was getting irritated with the small child, he smiled as he thought about his small idea. Taking hold of your hand and interlocking the fingers of his hand with yours, Toji grabbed it. “Guess your my wife now, huh?” Looking at her with a smirk on his face, Toji leaned closer to you, so close that your face turned red. In an effort to clear your head, you pursed your lips in an effort to keep your thoughts straight. The tension in Gojo's veins was so intense that he could feel it bursting. Having clenched his fist, Satoru was so close to hitting the muscular man who was clearly flirting with you in order to get an edge over him that he was on the verge of hitting him. With his face even closer to yours, your faces were inches away from one another, he looked down at your lips, giving you a small wink as he looked at you. "I'm sorry you had something,” With a smile on his face he turned back to the small child in his arms and hugged him again.

Leaving you doumbfounded you glanced at Satoru to see what his reaction was like. Satoru's gaze was intense as he watched Toji toy with you you. His eyes seemed to be burning with a mixture of anger and jealousy as the man leaned in to whisper something in your ear. Satoru's fists clenched as he watched the man's hand brush against your arm. He seemed to be struggling to keep his composure as he saw you smile back at the man.

“Thanks,” looking away you tried your best to hide your flushed face. Satoru knew that Toji was doing this as punishment towards you. “We’re here.” As you stepped out of the car to see the luxurious Hotel, you couldn’t help but gasp in amazement. It was absolutely huge, not knowing how many rooms it had you were curious. Seeing your sister walk out of her Tesla she waved at you. “Hey! Watchu think?” This was one of the most beautiful things you have ever seen in your life.

“Since it's getting pretty late, I think it will be a good idea if we go rest and the next day we can go to the beach," Holding her fiancé's hand, she smiled waving goodbye to everyone before handing them the key to their hotel room. The truth is that you didn't want to sleep with Satoru at all. Since he had his mistress room, you prayed that he would stay there all night or maybe even the whole week if he had one. Thank god, he actually answered your prayers. There was a sigh of relief as everyone made their way to their rooms. Seeing Satoru follow Jiyuu, one couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief as well. Entering the hotel room it was huge. It was so spacious that it even had a balcony, and although there was only one bed in it, you were grateful that you had it all to yourself. As you were already undressing yourself, you couldn't help but let your thoughts wander. Thinking about how Satoru actually chose to go with Jiyuu and not stay with you. Although you knew it was over, you could not accept the fact that the man you once loved was gone. After undressing yourself, you put on some shorts and a large sweater. Hearing someone knock at your door as you were about to lie on the bed, you quickly fled to the door. As you opened it slightly, you were relieved to see a familiar face inside.

"Hey, this little guy wants to sleep with you.." Rubbing his neck, Toji couldn't help but grin, seeing your face light up made him happy. Megumi was already reaching towards you, his chubby hands trying to grasp you. Nodding, you allowed Toji into the hotel room. Not knowing where he was going to stay, he decided to sleep on the couch while you shared a bed with Megumi.

Upon closing the door, Toji couldn't help but lick his lips. He had already figured out someone was watching him, but seeing him walk into your hotel room made him smirk a little. As a result, he knew the white haired man would become absolutely feral if Toji answered the hotel room rather than you

taglist; @allofffmypeaches @wo-ming-bai @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @creolequeen11210 @yevene @doughnuts-eater @narutosagemode @lilith412426 @pandoraium @dcvilxswish @cloudsinthecosmos

[mrsshabana]

Patient!Gyutaro x Nurse!Reader - CHAPTER 2

Chapter 1

✦ CW: 18+ MDNI, female reader. Dead dove: do not eat. Non-con, smut, violence, manipulation, mentions of mental illness. ✦ AN: This chapter has disturbing scenes with graphic violence and non-consensual sex. Please read all of the content warnings before continuing.

✦ WC: 1,808

“Good morning Mr.Shabana,” you chime, smiling brightly, bringing a tray with his breakfast into the room.

He stares at you as if he’s seen a ghost, eyes wide, skin pale, breathing at a halt.

“What’s wrong? Are you feeling alright?” you ask as you set his food down on the table.

“I-It’s nothin’...” 

“Well, I’ll see you in a few hours Mr.Shabana, feel free to call for me if you need anything in the meantime,” shooting him another kind smile before you exit the room.

His stare drills holes into your back as he watches you leave. He hasn’t felt this annoyed by a new nurse in years. Could it be that you are mocking him?

Pushing his food to the side, he clenches his teeth in frustration. He thought he got rid of you for good. You’re the first nurse that has stayed after he pulled that antic. It always works. But why didn’t it work on you? 

He’ll have to come up with another way to get rid of you.

After the first day with Gyutaro, you vowed to do everything in your power to help him heal his physical and mental wounds. Making sure to be kind, considerate, and paying close attention to his needs. The next few days have been surprisingly pleasant. No outbursts or insults coming from him like they once had before. He still doesn’t talk to you, hell he barely even acknowledges you. But it’s better than being assaulted every time you enter his room. 

Though you still get that gut feeling that you're in danger every time you are around him. Your hair stands on end and your hands get sweaty. But for the sake of doing your job, you ignore the warnings from your body. 

And it seems your persistence is paying off. As your keen eye quickly picked up on some of Gyutaro’s behavior. He only eats pre-packaged food. Why? You have no idea. Might be from some past trauma… maybe you’ll look back into his therapy notes later. 

But it’s quite odd. Every time you bring him his meals, he only eats the pre-packaged foods included in his meal. Usually things like cookies and muffins. He can’t be getting more than 500 calories a day. 

So, you start going out of your way to buy healthier pre-packaged foods for him. Things like canned tuna, beans, and sometimes potato chips from the vending machine. He’ll only eat it if you give it to him unopened. You want to ask him why he eats like this, but you figure he most likely won’t answer. Plus you don’t want to risk setting him off again. 

Your kindness really pisses him off. But he doesn’t hate when you bring him things he’s actually willing to eat. Surprisingly, he doesn’t think much of it. He’s not impressed that you figured out a way to get him to eat, because to him there was no trick. He wasn’t trying to be difficult. It’s just how he is. He won’t eat certain things and he has specific reasons for doing so. However, he isn’t grateful either. He could care less if he starved to death. But it is nice having a full stomach for once. He’s finally starting to feel a bit better, as his strength begins to return. Though, you may soon regret it.

.・゜゜・　♰　・゜゜・．

“Mr. Shabana, are you ready?” You knock on his door and peek inside to see him sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Mm hm,” he nods and stands. His lanky frame towering above you as he follows you out of the room. 

Today is Gyutaro’s hydrotherapy session, recommended to be given once every two weeks by his doctor. 

And since Gyutaro has been deemed to be a danger to himself, he must be supervised during the session.

You can feel him staring at you as he follows you to the sauna room. You swear his gaze is so spiteful that it causes you physical pain. Every part of your body is screaming at you as you unlock the door and open it for him. But surely you’re just overreacting right? It’s been over a week now with no incident at all. You finally feel as though you are making progress with him, and you aren’t willing to let go of that progress just because of a gut instinct. 

“Alright, remove your clothes and I’ll start the bath,” you say as you walk over to the hydrotherapy tub.

He doesn’t respond, but you hear shuffling behind you. Assuming that he’s getting himself ready, you get on your knees and adjust the temperature of the bath. Watching as the water slowly rises and steam fills the room. 

Dipping a finger into the water to check the temperature, it feels pleasantly hot. 

“There we go,” you smile, “Your bath is ready Mr.Sha-” You begin to turn around but in the blink of an eye your face is engulfed in heat. It all happens so fast, you don’t register what’s going on.

All you know is you can’t breathe, and it’s too hot. 

Holding on to the edge of the tub, you try to push yourself up and out of the water. But a strong grip on your neck is preventing you from doing so. 

You finally begin to realize the gravity of the situation when you feel Gyutaro’s body pressed up against you. He keeps his hand firmly grasped around the back of your neck, holding your head under the water. And with his other hand he roughly lifts up your skirt and pulls down your panties.

“Stop strugglin’ or else I’ll break your fuckin’ neck,” Gyutaro growls under his breath. 

Not only does he hate you because he finds your kindness incredibly annoying, but he also hates you because of how horny you make him. Seeing you in that short skirt every damn day. He gets hard every time you enter his room, and his throbbing cock becomes so persistent that he has to jerk himself off or else he’ll be in a bad mood the entire day.

How dare you tease him like this. Well he’ll show you. 

He’ll get to kill two birds with one stone. Satisfying the aching in his pants, and getting rid of you for good. There’s no way you’ll stay after this.

Cackling, he pumps his cock a few times, readying himself at your entrance.

“This is what you get for always teasin’ me…” he grunts as he forcefully shoves his cock inside of you. It takes a few thrusts to bully himself fully inside, as you aren’t wet at all. 

You feel like you’re being ripped in half, it stings and burns as he forces his thick cock into your tight hole. 

Water fills your mouth as you scream under the water. You panic, and use all of the strength you have left flailing your arms behind you, trying to push him away. But he’s too strong, and he’s between your legs so you can't kick him either. 

“Stop it, slut” he shouts, punctuating each word with a hard thrust. 

After a few thrusts, you start to get a little wet. Not enough to make this comfortable for you, but enough that he’s able to plunge easier into you. 

Having been in an Asylum for so long, he’s never had the pleasure of sex before. And even though it’s something he’s fantasized about many times, he never could have imagined how good it’d feel. The way your pussy tightly clenches around him, he feels like he’s already getting close. 

Your face begins to lose color, and you stop struggling. The abuse on your pussy is dulled by the pounding in your skull. 

Gyutaro notices you’re beginning to lose consciousness. He really doesn’t care about you but if you died now, he’d never be able to fuck you again. And he’s already getting addicted to the feeling of being inside of you… it’d be such a shame if this was the only time he’d be able to use you.

He reluctantly pulls out of you, grabbing you by the hair and pulling your head out of the water. 

Instantly you cough up a bunch of water and gasp for air. A devilish grin spreads across his face as he watches you struggle to breathe. 

Water and saliva drips down your chin as you open your watery eyes. Your vision is blurry but you can make out his erect cock throbbing in front of you. No wonder it hurt so much, not only is he long but quite girthy as well. Decorated with black spots and large veins, there’s a ring of blood at its base.

He grabs your chin and forces you to look up at him, “Well since you so kindly opened your mouth for me…” he grabs the base of his cock and forces you to take him into your mouth, “Might as well put it to good use.”

You cough and choke as he thrusts into your mouth, his leaking tip ramming against the back of your throat. Digging your nails into his thighs, trying to push him away to no avail. 

You hate to admit it, but you much rather have him abusing your throat than your pussy. But it doesn’t help that you’re still struggling to gasp for oxygen. Your lungs burn but you try your best to calm down and breath through your nose while you endure the torture. 

It doesn’t take long before you feel his cock twitch and his thrusts get sloppy. Just wanting this to be over as quickly as possible, you suck as fervently as you can. Twirling your tongue around his tip, taking him as deep as you can. 

“F-fuck…” he moans, cock twitching as he coats your throat in hot sticky cum. He tightly grips your hair as he rides out his high. 

Tears roll down your cheeks as you swallow his cum, not daring to look up at him. It tastes foul, salty, and bitter. It’s thick as it slowly slides down your throat.

He hisses as he pulls out of your mouth. A long string of saliva connecting from your swollen lips to the tip of his cock. 

He stands up and looks down at you. Grinning as a deep chuckle rumbles in his chest. You can’t help but cry under his gaze, feeling completely humiliated and ruined. So disgusted with your own body that you don’t even feel like yourself anymore. 

“Pathetic whore,” he spits, his saliva landing on your cheek. Grinning in satisfaction as he pulls up his pants and puts his shirt back on. 

Without another word he walks out of the room, the heavy metal doors slamming behind him. Leaving you gasping for air on the floor, sore and bleeding from his abuse. 

Taglist: @gyusimp @sterzin @sassysaxsolo @gh0stedddd @cry-baby-stuff @hutchilli [If you asked to be added to the taglist and weren't, it may be because your tag didn't work when I searched for it. Or because you don't have your age listed on your blog]

[lou-struck]

Distracting

Keiji Akaashi x reader

College AU!

WC: 2k

~ Thanks to the new library aid, your once quiet study spot has become much more… Distracting

a/n: sorry I have been gone for so long, it's been hard to do things lately. I hope you like this one. I tried to make it cohesive but when you start something and stop it in bi-weekly intervals you tend to loose yourself a bit in the process.

There is always that one damn professor who takes an extra step to make their course more challenging for students for no reason in particular.  

Yours is your history professor, known throughout the campus as Dr. Asshole. He is known for handwriting confusing exam questions and surprise Pop Quizzes on material chapters ahead of the assigned reading.

His newest pretentious obsession is assigning massive papers and requiring that his students research the whole thing using non-digital sources. This wouldn't be an issue normally, but your university is in the middle of nowhere, and there are at least a hundred students in this particular class. Which means every desperate student looking to raise their grade will be flocking to the library trying to find as many sources they can.

As soon as your class and you start your usual walk to the university's library, your usual study spot, and hope it will be the goldmine of information you need it to be. 

The sliding glass doors part for you as you enter. The faint smell of books wafts under your nose as you enjoy the natural sunlight that streams in through the glass skylights. The quiet, studious atmosphere lacks the noisy distractions that are back at your place. The air is comfortable, not too warm, and not too cold.

Your usual table is bare and sun-soaked under the glass skylights. Your book bag slides stiffly down your shoulder, and you wonder if it would be a good idea to leave it unattended for a few minutes.

Your eyes scan the room. There are a few students lounging in the corner on some large beanbags, Little white earbuds snug in their ears as they scroll through their sleek, thin, laptops. You see the back of one of the Library assistants slowly pushing a cart of books down a lowly lit aisle. 

Your gut tells you that you can trust the small group of randos. You set your bag down on the table so you can begin your search for academic materials. Slowly, you make your way down the rows of books. The space has never looked cleaner; all the selves, even the hard-to-reach ones, are free of dust, and as you flip through possible sources, you notice that someone has taken the time to smooth out previously dog-eared pages and pluck out the old bookmarks. 

After only searing the shelves for a few minutes, you have an uncomfortably tall stack of books in your arms. 

For balance, you stretch your chin out to steady the stack as you start to walk back to your table. The smooth laminate of the book jackets causes your literary mountain to quake as you shuffle through the shelves. Your arms burning from the weight as you turn a blind corner. 

There's a crash

There's some cursing

And you are on the ground…The books clattering to the floor around you as you wonder how you ended up face to carpet. 

Books are scattered all around you as a hand comes into your peripheral. It extends itself toward you as if it was trying to help you up.

"Are you alright!? I am so sorry." the voice of its owner says. Their voice laced with genuine concern as you take in the worried face of and the dark, slightly-messy hair of Keiji Akaashi. You know him as the setter for your university's Volleyball team. 

You have only ever seen him with his friends walking to practice or from the stands whenever you make it to a home game. Never up close like this. He is so handsome that you wonder if you hit your head during your fall to have just noticed it.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asks again, and you realize that you haven't answered him at all. You must've been too busy admiring how great the lean athlete looks in his cream-colored sweater.

"Yeah," you reply, taking his hand and allowing him to help you to your feet. "I'm all right."j

"Really?' His blue eyes are looking you over again as if he doesn't believe you.

You know your head and give him a sweet smile. "I'm positive. I'll take a whole lot more than a book cart to take me out."

"That's a relief." he chuckles, "I guess I got a bit distracted earlier." his gaze casting downwards slightly. They embarrassingly land on a half-open book, which must be the cause of this whole thing. 

"Pride and Prejudice?" you muse, craning your neck to view the title. "Good choice. I'd get distracted too."

"It's a great book." he sighs, "But I should've been paying more attention to where I was going. Especially with the cart, those wheels are stubborn." 

You look at the cart behind him and find yourself agreeing with him. The library may have been renovated fairly recently, but those carts were not included in the remodel. "I see what you mean; they certainly have seen better days." Your fingers reach out to gently tug at the peeling top layer of paint on the cart. The tan color covers up chipped and uneven coats of grays and black from years past. 

It brings a silly smile to your lips when you think about the similar paint job covering the light switches back at your rental. College housing does not have the highest caliber or repairs, and so it is often subjected to the 'landlord special.'

You notice that he is watching you, his blue eyes scanning your features like he is reading a book. They flicker from your eyes to your mouth as if he is trying to discern what you are thinking at that moment. 

This careful attention isn't creepy at all. It's rather endearing. Especially coming from someone as blatantly attractive as Keiji Akaashi. 

Your cheeks burn with embers of youthful bashfulness, and you hope that he doesn't notice.

"Oh wow, you were really carrying a lot of books," he comments, looking away from you long enough to notice your stack of fallen library books. Without any hesitation, he crouches down and begins gathering the pile for you. 

"You think so?" you ask. "I still don't know if I have enough for my assignment." the somber tone of your voice causes the library aide to inspect the large stack of books in his arms.

"Let me guess, you have Dr. Asshole this semester." he chuckles dryly. "I had him last spring."

"He's really the worst," you chuckle. "I just want to get this paper over with before everyone is fighting over the same three books."

"I remember that," he laments, "Bokuto- uhh, my friend was in that class for about one hour before he dropped it. I think that was the smartest thing he has ever done."

"I think I'm a bit too stubborn to drop." you chuckle, holding your arms out to take the books from his sweater-clad arms. 

"And I'm a bit too stubborn to give these back to you." he glances at the tables behind you. "Where are we taking these?" 

"I- can take them back myself," you say defiantly, a light playfulness to your tone.

"I'm sure you can. But it's the least I can do after running you over with a book cart."

"It's hard to argue with that logic. My spot is right there." you point to your lonely table as he follows behind you. Easily carrying the stack of books you had selected. 

Having a gorgeous man carry your books was something you thought only existed in coming-of-age rom-coms (or whatever). But now that it's happening in real life, you can't say that the experience is not enjoyable.

"Is there alright?" he asks, gesturing to the tabletop. When you nod, he sets the pile down at your spot and notices that there is a student waiting by the checkout counter, their fingers drumming impatiently against the wood. Keiji sees them and lets out a deep sigh, "I guess I have to get back to work, but if you need any help finding more books for your paper, I'd be more than happy to help."

You hate that this little moment, whatever it was, is over. But you understand that he has a job to do, and so do you. "Thank you, I will definitely let you know if my pile is too small."

He smiles so genuinely at your words that you start to wonder if him hitting you with that book cart is one of the best things to ever happen to you. 

As he walks away, you get settled into your seat and take the first book from your pile. Your eyes scan over the crinkly, water-damaged pages without really processing anything. 

How could you think about anything other than Keiji Akaashi, the volleyball-playing, sweater-wearing, snarky library assistant who keeps glancing over at you from his desk?

You hide your smile with the palm of your hand, determined to pretend to be engrossed in your studies.

~

Half an hour later, you have not made any progress on your paper at all. Your poor, distracted brain tries to read those tiny words. But you can't comprehend anything. So you're just staring down at the pages with a furrowed brow.

It's not your fault, really…

It's his…

You wonder if he takes pleasure in distracting little old you. 

As if to test this theory of yours, you shyly glance back over at the checkout counter only to make direct eye contact with Akaasi. His blue eyes shine almost mockingly as if to say, 'I caught you.'

You look back at your incomprehensible book, trying to make your movements as natural as possible. But from the corner of your eye, you notice that he's coming over. 

"Someone just turned this one in," he says, placing a well-loved book at the top of your pile. "I thought it would help you with your paper."

"Thank you." you beam, not realizing that your empty page of notes is shining up at him. 

"It's not a problem." he smiles. 'You may want to move on from that one; it doesn't seem to be giving you anything useful."

He caught you. You feel that familiar, embarrassing heat creeping its way up your neck. You shake it away and look at him with a reassuring smile.

"Masterpieces take time." you chuckle, "What would Dr. Asshole say if he found out I rushed through this precious little paper of his."

He leans against the wood. "There's a difference between taking your time and getting distracted." the way he murmurs that last word sends the butterflies resting in your stomach flying all over the place. Their imaginary wings tickle your heart as they travel upwards.

"Just watch." you grin, taking a new book off of your pile. "I am about to make so much progress."

"I'll believe it when I see it," he says, turning to walk back to his table. You may not notice it, but the tips of his ears are flushed a deep shade of pink as he glances back at you from over his shoulder.

Determinedly, you read away. Jotting down little bits of information with a newfound energy. Cute library aides may be distracting, but passing this class is a bit more important at this moment.

You manage to get a decent amount of work done before your water bottle runs dry. 

The warm air makes studying without it rather uncomfortable, so you grab the cylinder and take it to the water fountain near the bathroom. 

By the time you come back to your spot, you notice a little blue notecard on your tabletop taped to a pack of gum.

Sorry again for running you over. I had to go to practice, but I hope this makes up for it. - K. Akaashi

In this moment, you couldn't care less about the gum. How could you when his phone number is carefully printed at the bottom of the card?

Tagging: @enchantedforest-network

[kooksbunnnn]

Lost cause? 1 : everythings gone?

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook × female!Reader

Genre: Established relationship/ marriage, angst, panic attack (TRIGGER WARNING) heartbreak, INFIDELITY (do not read if this content triggers you) also, 18+, Please read the author's note.

Words: 5.3k words

Summary: You always wondered, how would your life turn out to be if you and Jungkook had a baby? So, when you finally conceive and decide to tell your husband, that you are pregnant, you didn't expect him to drop this bomb on you. You never would've thought that the surprise you planned would end up in agonized tears because of the shock your husband brings you. 

Authors note: hi everyone! Welcome, to the people who are reading this for the first time and I apologize to the people who have already read this and were disappointed that it got deleted. This was my first ever drabble on this app, but because of people giving so much love to this story, I decided to write another part of it. And since not every story or the ending or the writer is perfect, some people didn't like the part two. 

Since this story is slightly related to a trauma that I personally experienced, I tried to convince people that people have different approaches towards these situations and people might also want to try again if their partner cheats. Not giving a chance again was my approach, since my situation was different. 

Anyways, I updated the second chapter and some people called my OC dumb. So I tried making slight changes in the story and saved it in the drafts. But then I updated this app and my story got deleted from the drafts, which I apologize for with my whole heart. I am sorry if I disappointed any of the lovely readers by deleting the story, for the new readers, I hope you enjoy this drabble! Love you, hehe.

So here it is once again! The Lost cause. 

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Today's a very special day, Jeon Jungkook, your husband, would be back from his 10-day trip to Busan, courtesy of the company he worked his ass off for. Also, you had an announcement to make, speaking of which, you place the single candle on the dinner table finishing your preparations for the date night you planned.

You were pregnant, finally pregnant. After so many tries. You got so happy when the results came but since Jungkook was on a trip, you decided to keep it a secret until he comes back.

Anxiety, excitement, happiness, and maybe fear. What if he does not get happy listening to the news? These emotions are giving you a feeling that you are not able to place in your head quite clearly, but as soon as the sound of keys rattling reaches your ears, a smile appears on your face and the joy wins the race with every other feeling.

You run towards the gate and hide against the wall that was attached to the door giving you a spot big enough to put up your wedding picture frame. As soon as the door opens you jump and whisper-yell a 'boo', which was meant to be adorable but made him gasp and drop his luggage on the floor.

You pick up the phone that he dropped and you chuckle, hugging him you whisper in his ears, "I missed you baby."

When he doesn't hug you back your body tenses a little bit but before you can pull back he pulls you towards him and buries his head in your neck inhaling your scent. "I missed you too." You listen to him repeat the statement like a mantra, leaning back a little you look into his eyes...

Was he crying?

"Hey baby, I love you, okay?" You kiss him, trying to assure him of your presence. Inhaling his natural scent which was also mixed with a few cigarettes. You frown in the kiss when you realize something is off because of the way he just kept his lips frozen.

Also, the cigarettes were a symptom of stress, but you don't pay attention to the smoky scent and kiss him trying to make him relax. All the excitement drained out of you and now you were worried that you did something wrong.

The way he was holding you tightly but also with hesitation, 3 years of a relationship along with 2 years experience in marriage has taught you both, the body language you both can show and it made you a bit worried.

You step back to look at him properly and see that he had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was disheveled. It looked as if he had run through by his hand many times. He does it again, proving your theory.

It's a nervous trait of his.

The single drop of tear dropping on his chin tells you something is wrong, his chest heaving as if trying to contain and also let out something. You realize he hasn't even looked at you once.

"Kook?" Hearing the nickname he opens his eyes to look at your face for a second and then looks away.

"Are you okay? Is everything okay? Did something happen baby?" The soft questions in a whisper-like voice made him tear up and say a distant 'yeah just missed you so much.'

You look at his face that was focusing on the picture you hung on the wall from your honeymoon trip, the hills in the background of the picture making you smile at the memory of your husband whining like a baby because of the cold.

The picture even has his nose red and all scrunched up while you were posing with a big smile on your face, your chin resting on his shoulder with your hands in his jacket pocket while you hugged him from the back, fitting into each other like puzzle pieces.

You both look at the picture and after some seconds of zoning out, you chuckle and say sorry for not even letting him in and jumping on him, he shakes his gaze off the painting and rushes to close the door before he takes his shoes off and just tumbles across the hall when you notice.

His shoes...

He never has his shoelaces untied. Cursing your overthinking brain you tell it that maybe he is tired and just wanna rest.

"You know I ordered a big pizza meal but then canceled it cause I suddenly changed my mind. It amazes me that I can change my mind in 35 seconds.." you chuckle at how fast you felt nausea set in your stomach when you ordered the pizza and just keep on talking, still nervous about how you're gonna tell him everything. "But then I decided to cook some steak which I couldn't cause I suddenly had a headache, so I decided that you can suggest something and we can order while you showe- where are you going, kook?"

You say in a confused tone when you see him opening the balcony door letting the cool air inside.

"Just need some air, Y/N"

You flinch at how he takes your full name, and you realize it must've been your rambling that you sent him to the balcony for air. You feel sorry and walk towards the balcony where he just stares at the city from above, the sun still setting into the horizon painting the sky a pretty shade of purple mixed with a crimson red.

"I'm sorry if I annoyed you baby, just excited you are back. You wanna shower first or eat something? You seem tired." He shakes his head at your question rocking your body a bit with his since you have yours attached to his back like a koala.

"Can I get some time alone, Y/N...please?" You pull back with your eyebrows knitted together at his sudden request which makes you feel something in your stomach. Something bad.

"Um, okay. Take your time.." you step back into the lobby when suddenly you feel nauseous and you run towards the bathroom with a hand clutched over your mouth.

Oh no. Not yet

Rushing into the bathroom you fall onto your knees in front of the pot, pouring out almost everything you had this morning. Jungkook comes running after you kneeling down immediately beside you, holding your hair back which you were not doing a good job at.

He rubs your back as you cough and try to breathe at the same time not being able to pay attention to his 'are you okays' or 'hey what happened' or 'it's okay, it's okay I am here'.

When you feel like you have nothing left in you, you sit up a little to flush the remnants of your indigested food into the sewer, falling back against the wall connected to the shower cabinet.

You breathe heavily and try to calm down when you notice a big pair of doe eyes looking at you in concern, he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear as you try getting up.

"I am sorry, you didn't have to help, seriously. You're tired, go take a shower then we can eat something okay?" You try to leave the tensed guy's embrace but he stops you, looking at you from top to bottom examining you as a doctor while you turn to use some mouthwash.

"I didn't have to help? You were literally wrenching your gut out, are you even okay?!" He asks you in a terrified voice turning you towards him after you spit out the mouthwash.

You, not wanting to worry him more because of his earlier wanting to be alone statement, just hold his face in both of your hands telling him that it was stale rice that you had in lunch. Whispering an 'oh', he immediately takes his hands away from your face and asks you to be careful, adding a little please at the end making your heart swell with love.

You both stand there silent while the tap water runs in the background. You turn back to turn it off after some seconds and break the silence by telling him that he can shower as long as he wants and you can order something in the meanwhile.

Walking towards the door, you ask, "Chicken?" he looks at you for a second and breathes a 'yeah'. You smile and lean in to kiss his cheeks telling him not to take too long cause you have to talk about something.

"Me too," he says in an almost inaudible voice, giving him a little nod, you walk back into the kitchen.

After a long 42-minute shower, according to your phone clock, he comes out in a killing t-shirt and sweatpants combination. Smelling his body wash from 2 feet away you feel the comfort seeping into you. You hug him, inhaling his natural and soapy scent, running your hand in his damp hair and scratching his scalp, you chuckle.

"There's my perfect and not-so-travel-worn husband." You were about to start the conversation that lead to the announcement, when suddenly he buried his nose in your neck, sniffling and you feel his arms tightening around you, him mumbling an 'I am sorry' into your shoulder accompanied with little drops that dampen your t-shirt's collar.

You try to pull back to talk to him but he doesn't let you, his body starts shaking as he starts to fully sob. Your heart picks up its pace as you've never seen him like this. Doubting himself or the relationship, you feel a pang in your heart as if something bad is about to happen.

"Jungkook, hey, what's the matter? Are you okay?" You pull back putting in a lot of strength and see how his face is red and his tears are just flowing out.

"Hey look at me.." you try to make him face you but he just shuts his eyes trying to face away from your concerned orbs. He suddenly sits down on the chair with a thud slipping from your hold, he clutches his head and keeps on sobbing and coughing and crying. You try to calm him down with big wide eyes filling with tears as well, at seeing the pain he is in but its as if he can't hear you or your words.

You can swear you heard him say 'I fucked up, I fucked up. I am so fucking sorry.' Your heart sinks and you kneel in front of him, taking his hand in yours. Pressing short kisses on his tattooed fist, after a lot of struggling you finally make him look at you and the expression makes you doubt the curiosity in you because you have this feeling...

Sitting up on your knees coming face to face with him, he stares at you, sniffling, his eyes and his nose all red, lips quivering. "I love you Jungkook okay? trust me, tell me what happened please?" You say softly but firmly, confirming to him that he had to tell everything about the guilt and disgust he felt towards himself. How he wanted to just go back in time, to revert the fuck up he did, which is gonna ruin everything, everything he built, everything he had in this relationship. The love, the trust, he could see everything breaking including you and your heart.

Not being able to keep his eyes on you, he looks down at his lap and you have a feeling you're not gonna like his next words. Tightening his hold on your hands he said...

"I cheated on you."

The silence between you two, after hearing the words come out of his mouth, was deafening. You can't even hear your heartbeats, did it stop? Is this a dream? A nightmare if precisely termed. You feel the air in your lungs escaping and a panic setting inside you.

"It happened just once, I am sorry. I don't know why I did it. I am really sorry. I don't know what to do.." he keeps going on and on, you are looking at him but nothing reaches you.

There is this ringing in your ear that doesn't seem to stop and after a good 1 or 2 minutes of looking blankly at the body shaking and sobbing in front of you, you realize that you went blank. All the apologies and curses that were pointed at him were not even entering your ears.

When the realization hit, you felt all alone in the room, with silence, slow breaths, panic, and the 'feeling of a life growing inside you.' Questions. A lot of questions, came running at you with knives and swords piercing through your heart.

Why? Were you not enough?

Did he fall out of love?

Did you do something wrong?

Did you gain weight?

Did you not give him satisfaction anymore?

Were you ever insensitive?

Did you bore him?

Were you not exciting anymore?

Did you cross some boundaries of his privacy?

Should you've worn more makeup?

Should you have gotten that surgery your aunt suggested?

Did you annoy him?

Will he leave you?

Would you have to beg?

Will you beg?

What about the pregnancy?

Should you tell him?

What if he leaves?

What if you are left alone?

Do you even want to live a life alone, without him?

And many more...

The unfocused look in your eyes and the loosening grip of your hands made him jolt up in the chair and hold your hands tighter, pulling you towards his body, he left your hands and held you by your shoulders, trying to shake you out of the panic. He can almost read the questions in your eyes. He can explain, and he wants to, but he needs you to get back to him. Back to the lobby where you were looking into his eyes but still were not able to hear or see or feel him.

"Y/N. Look at me. Hey, Y/N, focus baby. Talk to me, please. Yell at me. Scream. Hit me. Just talk please." He shakes you and your body responds with a limp movement which makes him leave the chair and get down on the floor.

The anxiety, the panic, the betrayal, all making your breathing ragged. You want to scream but your body doesn't respond. You've been cheated a lot of times in your life, many times. Including the one time a guy used you for a bet to prove to his friends that he can fuck you. From grade 5th, the bullies of your school had bets on who can slap your ass or grope you in the hallways or in the classroom. Which forced you to shift to another school.

Making new friends was never easy for you and since everyone behaved well to you first and then betrayed you in the past, you had trust issues. So any guy who said he liked you, the issues that made the relationship difficult, ended up with him dumping you or the famous cheating situation. After 5 and a half years of isolation from friends and love since nothing made you feel secure. You finally found Jungkook who proved in every single way that he can be your friend and lover at the same time. You didn't need anyone else. And as of now, if not him, you have no one. This leaves you with another question. Are you gonna end up lonely in that depressing, dark pit where you cried and even if you were surrounded by four groups of people, no one gave a fuck.

The thoughts hit you like a punch in the gut and the amount of shaking Jungkook had you get out of the daze and finally focus on him. Looking at his face you remember everything you guys have done. The kisses, the movies, the cuddles, the teasing, the late-night walks, the crying sessions, the fights, the sex...

Before you can even think about the following genres of your memories, you push him back and clutch your head. Falling forward with your knees still tucked under your thighs, you pull your hair to stop the pain in your head and let out a screech that makes Jungkook sob harder.

He doesn't wanna see you like this, your body shivering, and the way your hands are shaking and your loud cries and wails that he never wanted to be the reason for. He knew your past. He knew every fucking thing. How could he do this to you? He vowed that he will never make you cry, he literally would kill anyone who made you upset.

Now, what should he do with himself?

You gasp as you take in the air, your body falling back as you reach for something on the ground to get support from. Jungkook tries to reach out to you but you yell at him to stay away as you start imagining pictures in your head of him kissing someone, moaning someone else's name, coming for someone else. You look at his face that was still crying and had his fists clenched on the marble floor.

"Why?" You ask between sobs not wanting to hear an answer, mostly talking to yourself. Listening to which he cries harder, crawling towards you he tries to hold your hand. But you struggle against him, trying to push him again but he pleads in front of you to listen to him explain.

"No!" You scream and push him off. Making him fall back against the floor, and you even stop for a second to check on him if he is hurt, but you continue, sobbing, when you see that he is okay.

"Was I not enough for you?! Why did you, out of all the people, You! have to prove that I am not worth putting people's time into?! What am I supposed to do huh?" you kneel in front of his body that was hesitant to reach out but wanted to comfort your panicked state. "You tell me Kook...Do you expect me to forgive you? Or do you expect me to trust you again and just forget that this.." you move your pointer finger towards both of you pointing towards your chests, "..ever happened?"

Getting up you get a dizzy feeling in your head and you can feel the room spinning. You lean against the kitchen counter. Tears never stopping. You look at him who was getting up to sit on the chair and constantly looking down at the floor.

Suddenly you can't breathe without asking him the questions in your mind and you wanted to know, Why? Who? Where?

"Who was she?" You ask not able to hide the little crack in your voice as you looked at your husband, who promised to love you. Forever.

"She was the manager in the club I went to celebrate with Hyungs." He speaks up without hesitation knowing that he owes an explanation. That easy? Was it that easy to forget about you and fuck another girl?

"What was her nam- actually no I don't wanna know..." you felt bile rise in your throat at the thought of knowing her name, so after a pause, you got the courage to ask him, "Did you fuck her?" He looked at you flinching at the choice of your words.

"No." He said looking away tears still flowing. Before you could ask further, he explained himself. "I-no, I didn't fuck her, does it matter what we did? I am sorry Y/N, just please look at me?" He begged as he stood up to walk up to you.

You chuckled sarcastically, no humor present in your voice. You looked up and saw guilt in his eyes as he stopped in his way when he heard you let out a half-hearted laugh. It hurts to see him cry but you can't help but feel the pain in your chest overlapping your love. You doubt if you should even tell him about his baby. It was supposed to be a surprise but clearly, your husband had better surprises planned.

You really want to, but you can't really see a future ahead of you now.

"We. It is such an easy word right, kook?" You look at the ground thinking about how he used the word so easily which was supposed to be only yours and his.

"We. Us..." You look up at him and say through clenched teeth, "..It matters Jungkook tell me. What exactly happened. I want to know where exactly I went wrong for you to go seek help somewhere else."

He wanted to protest but you shush him with an adamant,

'Tell me Jungkook'.

He looks at his feet and you prepare yourself for the heartbreaking details. "We met-.." he looks at you and changes his words "I met her when she came to ask if our group needed something. Namjoon Hyung introduced all of us since she was his old friend. They wanted to celebrate the deal and since she was Hyung's friend, we invited her, and I..I don't know what happened but I got really drunk and I just went to wash my face but she j-just grabbed me and pushed me against the wall and.." he started snuffling and you felt your body shaking and long, heavy breathes leaving your lungs, eyes squeezed shut, with clenched fists, trying to hear the whole story without breaking down. "She started kissing me a-and w-we just kissed and.."

He pauses pleading for you to not let him continue.

"Continue please.." he can hear your heart, your voice, and your demeanor breaking at the same time. "Y/N please.." hearing this, you look at him with eyes that were emotionless, telling him that he fucking owes this much to you.

All the while he was speaking, you think about the baby, the little person who did nothing wrong. Will his or her father leave? You feel your breath slipping away at the thought but you control the urge to scream until he finishes.

"..and then we just gave each other a handjob.." you flinched at the term making your knuckles go white. He sounds so distant, so small, the guilt eating him up.

"Did you cum?" you ask him, eyes shut as if trying to avoid the answers. He sighs and mutters a 'yes'. You inhale sharply trying to gasp for air looking up at the ceiling, "did you make her cum?"

He feels the knot in his throat fighting the food he ate earlier which was trying to come out, guilt and disgust seeping into his veins. This sounds so disgusting and you sound so broken. Your breathing making him feel pathetic. But after gathering some courage he admits cause he had to answer you.

"..yes."

It was supposed to happen if they did that kind of stuff but it made you feel sick to the stomach. You feel the world spin and you wonder if there is a chance that a nightmare could feel so true.

You don't know what comes over you when you call his name softly.

"Jungkook?"

He looks up at you with blurry eyes and you reach up to his hand to hold it against your belly. The moment you see him realize, you start crying breathlessly, hiccups making it harder to breathe. His eyes sparkle for a second when he understands that finally, he fulfilled his dream which was to be a father but loses it as soon as he realizes that he fucked up bad and what he did was irreversible, and also that he has ruined three lives altogether.

Him.

You.

And the baby.

His eyes lose color as soon as you drop his hand so that you can cover your crying face with both your hands, not knowing what you're gonna do now.

He steps back as he realizes what he has done. You and he have been trying for half a year and when he got the chance to be a father, to be a perfect husband, a chance to help you sit up, feed you, to do stuff for you cause you won't be able to do, since you would be having a big belly, with his baby inside. Who will one day hold his hand and call him 'dad', he wanted to help you get through the labor so that he could hold the baby in his arms taking in his or her features while you sleep because you'd be exhausted, then have a family picture taken in the hospital, and get it framed to put on the bedside wall.

You just keep sniffing after crying for a time you or he couldn't measure. Your body is not able to move. Your thoughts whirl inside your mind and you don't realize when you black out.

Jungkook heard how your hiccups stopped gradually, making him look upward to see how you passed out and now had your head resting on the wall behind you. Your body was cold and your face was wet with tears. He carries you to your bedroom and tucks you in, feeling sick when he sees your face and nose red. Black trails on the cheekbones. He tries to rub the smudges off but pulls his hand back when he realizes that he lost his right to do all this.

He places a glass of water on the nightstand which was his daily habit, cause he knows you wake up at the midnight, searching for water with grabby hands and whining until he gets you some.

You were his princess whom he liked to spoil even after your complaints of being a spoiled brat because of him, always smiling when he called you his baby. He made sure you didn't have to leave the comfort of your bed. He remembers how you smiled looking at him with your big doe eyes filled with love which were now red because of him.

He turns off the lights in the room to make sure your eyes don't strain while you sleep. Because he would not sleep next to you, to help you get your relief by burying your head in his chest to avoid the lights. He lost this privilege.

All these emotions made him feel nauseous but nothing comes up. The feeling sitting inside him as he watches your pale face being lit under the moonlight coming through the gap in the window curtains. He didn't realize how the clock turned from 07:35 in the evening to 01:05, midnight.

He sat on the floor next to your hand, not even daring to touch you trying to think of ways to solve this. When he doesn't he cries muffling his voice in his arms so that you don't wake up, he doesn't want to leave you alone, afraid of you getting up due to a nightmare or the morning sickness.

He doesn't realize when he falls asleep, but when he wakes up he doesn't find you anywhere in the room, not even in the bathroom. Calling out your name in panic, he runs out to the lobby where he doesn't find you either. He calls for you in a scared voice when the cool air from the balcony caressing his face tells him that you were on the balcony.

He rushed towards you and saw how you were crouched down on the floor sipping coffee or tea. It might be tea coz you don't like coffee in the morning. 'It makes me talk bitter' you told him once at the beginning of your relationship. The memories made him smile.

Walking inside the balcony area decorated by you as soon as you both moved into the apartment 8 months ago, with plants, wall hangings, colorful pots, and a set of chairs with a little round table for your balcony date nights you had on Saturdays.

Sitting down he sees that your eyes are still swollen and he understands you were crying before he woke up. He wants to caress your swollen skin but he doesn't have the right to anymore. So he just sits across you on the balcony floor looking at the floor underneath him.

After finishing the tea you keep the empty mug on the floor with a clink and without looking at him and focusing still on the empty utensil, you softly speak, "Kook, I don't know, I-I just... I love you and I don't think that would change ever but..." he squeezes his eyes, dreading your next sentence.

I just don't know if I can see you, or feel the same way for you as I did before, b-but... I think our child should be born with both parents being able to be around each other." he looks up at you with hopeful eyes.

"That does not mean that I would be able to forgive you, Kook. You broke my heart, Jungkook. I am strong. But I am not that strong to let you back in my life. After what happened to me in the past, this was my last straw and I hope you know that I loved you with everything I had... I still do. But I just can't." You breathe out.

You feel your heart clench at the way he opens his mouth to say something but closes it the moment you start tearing up. He looks at his lap again, soft sniffles coming from his direction.

You don't want to leave, but you get up to leave the balcony with Jungkook still looking at the floor not able to make eye contact with you.

With your back towards him, you say, "I am going to live at my mom's house for some time until I find an apartment or maybe until our baby is born, I do not want to stay here.." looking around you feel your heart sinking as every spot that screams about the time you've spent here.

"...the memories will fucking kill me. Also, you can...um, visit if you want, as I w-want you to be an equal part of the child's life as I am, just.." he looks up at you with teary eyes at your pause, ".. don't expect to be a part of my life, Kookie. It won't be easy for me but I can't risk it. I have to take care of us"

And he looks away with watery eyes when he realizes that you were not talking about the three of you but just the baby and you.

Seeing him try to control his breathing, you couldn't help but walk back into the balcony to kneel in front of him. Muscle memory, you guess. Leaning forward, you put your hand on the other side of his face and give a peck to his cheek, he holds your wrist softly in place not wanting to let you go, and you both sob simultaneously while inhaling the air as if breathing is the most difficult thing in the world.

You feel your heartbreak at the Irony. He used to be your safe space. He helped you breathe.

You put your forehead against his and let his scent get absorbed and engraved in your mind. One last time. But you know you have to be strong. Your past has ruined your trusting instincts and now Jungkook just put the cherry on top.

You mumble a little 'I love you' before nudging his nose with yours as he tries to not let you go, but eventually does cause he didn't dare to stop you after doing you wrong. You get up to leave when you hear a silent 'I love you too' followed by a wave of muffled sobs leaving his mouth.

You let the tears fall openly and vulnerably as you leave the apartment, breaking down as soon as you reach your car. You glance at the plushie sitting on your dashboard he gave you after winning at an arcade.

The little squishy duck looking at you with pity in its plastic eyes, as it now has witnessed your most happy moments and the most dreadful ones in approximately 8 months.

Was everything over? You and Jungkook? Your perfect fairytale? Your perfect family? The dream you've been dreaming of forever, the child and the kid's room, the house in the countryside, everything?

was it all gone, forever?

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