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#And idk if I forced it to do that or did it actually stopped for a while near two week or it was my bad maths
bacchuschucklefuck · 4 months
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the boy-but-not-that-way-ism of riz gukgak send tweet
#not art#have been chipping away at a more... proper? so to say. piece of the kids for keepsake. and since its of them at the beach Im rotating#gender stuff in brain again. riz and gorgug ping a lot of the like funny gender stuff in my brain#very specifically adjacent to cultural understanding of it all... like I did say I do think riz has a gender and it can be#translated to ''man'' in solesian understanding but also that boy has close to no self awareness nor does he want to#he grew up as ''goblin'' before ''boy'' and it's kinda how he perceives himself. got a gender but doesn't wanna do much with it#kinda imagining him seeing his grandparents again and realizing that there's a gap there between himself and his grandpa too#and sitting with that for a bit. not for long that kid doesnt do that but for just a little bit#man I truly really do love that riz is aroace. my boy of the unquantifiable unimportant margins....#gorgug though is 100% trans lmao. there's a kinda distance to his own body in how he acts#that's kinda common in ''mad scientist'' characters? (or maybe my perspective's just skewed due to willow jenkins lmao)#kid spent the first two seasons fitting himself in places he Should be able to fit. and s3 is pretty much all about him Making New Spaces#thing is despite looking ardently for like. the reason Why he can't fit in in the first season I think gorgug really does#love his gnome parents and love being their child. and its confusing and tough to have to learn why something you love still hurts you#he wants it to not. he wants to make sense. and then it does and it changes nothing really#until he actively makes choices based on what he's learned. like. damn idk how to word it but#just like the ability to say ''actually this Is my life what are u gonna do? stop me from living it?'' is a powerful force#its rly fun to look at these two guys in these contexts thats like#they will never win the gender game just by virtue of being who they are. it's not designed for folks like them to win#but riz would simply not play and gorgug would design his Own game he's the champion of. and I think that rules
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If i see one more post saying that Gojo’s words in the last chapter means that he regrets not going with Suguru to kill all normies i will actually explode. Have you missed the part where he doesnt want his students to see it cause he hates that he has to do it and still unsure that its the right thing to do. All the whie Suguru taught the twins himself how to kill normies and actively encouraged it
Listen i like satosugu as much as the next guy but this is just uncool. The beauty of their situation is that Satoru loves him and also doesn’t agree with him at the same time. He wants Suguru back but still killed him because he knew Suguru won’t stop
Can you not see the beauty of it. The fact that he loves him even with the genocide Suguru did. Not “despite” no, he loved him and loves and always will and will always want Suguru by his side but he also accept Suguru’s choice. Its not like Suguru didnt know how this is going to end. Do you not feel how absolutely beautiful and insane that is to love so deeply and not have your love be diminished. Love even their worst sides. Can you not see the strenght it takes to love someone so endlessly and still choose what’s right in your opionion. That love didnt sway Sugurus convictions and it didnt sway Gojo, it exists alongside everything that happened
Can we just appreciate that Gojo has sincerely tried to do a good thing despite all hit circumstances istfg
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ganondoodle · 1 year
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back on my zelda thoughts
idk about you but i got sick of zelda running after people with big sorrowful puppy eyes begging them to listen to her(they wont) or to help link in totk pretty fast
#ganondoodles talks#totk spoilers#i just can stop thinking about how dirty she got done#she can be a tragic character without being constantly sad and scared#dare i say she contributed more positive to the game when she was a dragon#the only scenes she didnt look super sad was pretty much when talking about link at the teacup memory bc .. you know she actually knows him#and where shes essentially forced to decide to half kill herself in order to do literally anything for her own time#now that im thinking about it how the heck did anything on the tutorial even work with her giving her powers to you#and you sending the master sword to her#just feels like they scrambled to somehow get you her pwoers and the mastersword to her#some random bubbles of time magic idk lol#if the game went different#wouldnt it have been cool if those had been caused by zelda learning how to reastablish a connection to her own time#creating those weird time bubbles#and through the course of the game you find more and they let you interact with her more and more as shes learning how to use her powers#until at some point she finds a way to return herself#maybe even her spirit as a companion for a time before she gains control of it further#you know so she can actually at least TALK to you#giving her time powers out of nowehre and then not doing anything with it exept send her back in time somehow and time reverse a dagger#like what#wouldnt it just have made more sense when at first she did it unknowningly and then learned how to use it herself#and then .... well travel back again#ham fisted way to introduce a neat lil game gimmick i guess#and nothing more bc how dare she do anything on her own except .. sacrifice herself lol#i guess its meant ot be uwu tragic bc sonia got fridged too quickly for zelda to learn from her or whatever#which is why i said she learns on her own#idk man this game is driving me nuts
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#went down a wikipedia rabbithole tonight and learned some chilean history#specifically around project cybersyn#President Salvador Allende#and the 1973 Military coup#and uh#fucking tragic#i think ive existed in a strange(? maybe its actually relatively common idrk) position as an American leftist where like#the crimes of american imperialism feel so innumerable to where at a certain point you stop learning about them on purpose#so like for years ive 'known' that what the USG has done to South America was awful#i 'learned' about honduras and so I just applied that as a template and went 'yeah some awful shit happened and its the CIAs fault'#but uh getting a bit more detailed knowledge about what our government did in chile has made me realize how callous that was#i dont know that ive nessecarily earned my previous attitude of 'cold detached and depressed' given#that not only did I not live through any of it but also that it was done in my benefit#god maybe this is some milquetoast shit#idk#I think being a leftist in the US is having to fight the passivating force of imperialism constantly#like lose sight of it for a second and it just fucking blends back in with the landscape#the internally defensive structure you build in your brain to protect yourself from complete emotional collapse while buying food#will equally be effective in ignoring the role of imperialism in everything else#anyway#I think this is perhaps a good opportunity to learn more about the other crimes the USG has committed in South America#to actually know the names and pronunciation of the deomcratically elected socialist leaders we deposed and what they really wanted to do#to know how their people felt and thought about things rather than imposing my own assumptions onto a reigon I am utterly ignorant of#it is embarrassing now to know the fullness of history I have ignored#Salvador Allendes words really fucking got to me and to think that there are men like him who I cannot even name is really disappointing#im going to stop self flaggellating and see about that reading#just my thoughts#feeling a little blue tonight
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mozart-the-meerkitten · 5 months
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My parents and I watched the season 3 finale of Star Wars: Rebels tonight and I can't believe my mom was the one who was like "WHY ARE THEY* ALL DYING?!" and I was the one being all, "don't worry I'm sure it will be fine." this is the most role reversal we have ever done.
(*to clarify I mean the rebels in general, the main cast was fine)
#star wars#star wars rebels#star wars rebels spoilers#what's really funny is that this season ended pretty much like 'the last jedi' did it with hardly anyone making it out#and them all crowded on the main iconic ship#and I HATED the last jedi#but like it just felt so much more HOPEFUL in rebels Idk man#also yeah I did make this post as a way to shamelessly react post in the tags#Idk even where to start#the first part of the finale was crazy man their leader literally CUT AN IMPERIAL SHIP IN HALF by ramming his command ship into it#like if you're gonna die doing a kamikaze run let it be by CUTTING ANOTHER SHIP IN HALF#and what the FUDGE is bendu WHAT was his deal even#kanan showing up yelling at him like merry with treebeard in the LOTR movies#'but you're a part of this world! aren't you?'#my mom was so mad at bendu for refusing to help akjghljasgdhfdgjags I'm over there like 'wait until they ACTUALLY ATTACK HIS PLANET'#and haha I was right#okay this is so silly but I'm so happy they didn't kill off agent callus that dude has really grown on me#he was doing his best thrawn's just insane with strategy#also THRAWN aklghfjaskgdls okay I LOVED his reaction to bendu being “?!?!? shoot it?!?!” *windows error noise*#man was foiled by his own underlings and angry force rafiki#HERA CALLING KANAN 'MY LOVE' OH MY WORD JUST *MARRY* EACH OTHER ALREADY YOU BASICALLY ALREADY ARE#'looks like the family's back together' STOP#the yavin base name drop#me through the entire space battle: do you know what we need right now? the battlestar galactica#just looked it up and apparently a star destroyer is actually not much bigger than a battlestar which is. FASCINATING to me#they'd be like the same class of ship#which tracks yeah#anyway#they did have a few ships get away so they did actually have a better success rate than in TLJ#but of course they had MANDALORIANS to help them out here so
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mrsmarlasinger · 2 years
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Hmmmmmmmm quick question! What do you do when your executive dysfunction has reached such a critical state that you:
are actively ignoring things you desperately need to do
are ghosting your employers (even though you can make it all go away by doing the one thing you most need to do: send an email and QUIT)
have almost three dozen notifications that you can't even bring yourself to look at
completely unironically have done nothing but sleep and flip between two apps for days
are fucking up your professional/financial future even though you need to move out in a matter of months
✨and✨
are paralyzed by anxiety that keeps mounting to increasingly unsustainable heights
YET
you GENUINELY CANNOT figure out how to PHYSICALLY FORCE YOUR BODY to do the (extremely short, extremely important) list of things you keep telling yourself you're going to do
because at this point you can't even shower or change the clothes you've been wearing for days on end?
Asking for a friend. I'm the friend.
#i'm actually really really scared at this point#i don't know what to do i can't get unstuck i feel like i'm being fucking possessed by a demon of sloth or something (idk i'm not catholic)#the last time this happened THIS badly was a year ago in my last semester of college#i literally was not going to graduate bc I couldn't finish my online course and i was every day paralyzed with fear but i COULDN'T#eventually i sat down once for 8 hrs straight and once for 27 hrs straight and knocked it out in two sittings. how did i do that#i feel like i have no control over myself. all i am all the time is tired and miserable and scared and i can't stop sleeping i just can't#i sleep through every single day and i can't stop it. i can't even stop myself from eating chips and candy and fucking bullshit like that#i'm literally just in what feels like a crisis but it's the most static passive crisis on earth and looks from the outside like NOTHING#like you talk to me and think i'm fine and just being really lazy but inside i am panicking and i hate myself but i'm STUCK#idk what to do like i honestly wish i had meth or coke at this point lol. anything to force my brain out of this fucking static haze#i think i'll pound some kratom. red to gloss over the anxiety‚ white for energy. just parachute a couple grams and cure it. i hope.#god you have no idea what i'd do just to get off tumblr and reddit for ten minutes#personal#executive dysfunction#adhd#depression#actually adhd#actually depressed#untreated adhd#vent#vent tw#vent cw#tw vent#cw vent#mental illness#mental illness tw
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#so theres this terrible thing i do where i force myself to get up way too early and go into the lab before anyone else#bc i get overwhelmed when lots of ppl r around. its terrible bc if u do that over and over it kinda breaks ur brain#but there is something i like abt walking around while its still dark out and on ones on thr roads looking up at the stars and theyre all#haloed here bc theres actually moisture in thr air here. i feel. idk how i feel. more normal i guess. like neutral but in a negative way.#like i dont really care about anything. probably im just tired. i haven't been sleeping well. maybe its the birth control#which im still taking bc im too curious abt how my mood fluctuates when my hormones r controlled. or maybe its my mood. but ive been tired#and ive not been having fun. i just feel like im very no thoughts empty head. here's info do u have anything to say abt it? any observations#? no. no. cant read cant think cant talk in a way that makes may sense. what do we do abt it? i dunno. i dunno.#sleep maybe. stop taking the birth control maybe. talk to my councilor monday definitely. give her an insane rant abt how im definitely not#bipolar lol i think ive got a point. but i go back and forth idk. it doesn't really matter. i just find it interesting#sigh. remember when i had time to draw? remember when i wanted to draw? now im just tired#whatever. ill sleep and feel better. get my executives to function maybe. maybe. but probably not#i did cut off like 3 inches of hair on impulse. got that chin length depression haircut. classic#unrelated
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sick-as-a-dog · 1 year
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#just the thought of him not loving me the same way and amount i love him makes me want to slice myself up#ill only stop cutting when i cant feel anything anymore not pain not love just emptiness#just want to be with master but dont want to make him stressed out because im too dependent and reliant on him#why cant i just feel my emotions the right way or a normal amount or at least less strong? why am i like this?#why cant i love like a human and why must that shit be so complicated? why am i so feralminded?#and why cant i feel my loves separately? should i even? or am i not understanding it right? why do i feel everything wrong?#why must i love him like a wild animal loves its lifelong mate? but also like how that animal loves the taste of prey and hungers for it?#like a dog loves its master and feels the unending loyalty and unconditional love overtake remaining wolflike instinct#like a best friend i also wish to do stereotypical romantic and domestic things with and so much more#i want to be bound to him in any way possible marriage and collars and microchips and blood pacts and marking and such#but im so scared he wont want that anymore i want to stop feeling i need to completely stop feeling and worrying but i cant#even when im emotionally numb i still feel that canine love for him even if just a glimmer#i wish i knew what he thinks love is and what hes comfortable with and how he felt and experienced love and if he still loves me like#he did before he came out as aro....im scared to bring up how calling himself aro and me his exception actually hurts and idk if i should#tbh him saying hes aro yet says he loves me feels like when a close friend keeps saying they dont have any friends while youre right there#like my existence makes his identity a lie or a betrayal to him i cant shake the gross feeling that hes forcing himself to stay for my sake#....hell am i even his exception anymore? what did he mean by same amount but not the same? what changed? did anything actually change?#wish i could figure out what love is and how to feel it right..esp dont understand romantic or queerplatonic or anything its all confusing#i want to take on the world with him and stop being an emotional wreck so we can fuck anyone together like we swore to#i just want to live the rest of my life by his side and i want to experience all we can together#picnics and movies and living together and sharing a nest and....idk i just want to be with him forever and hope he still feels the same#it would literally kill me if he ever left or fell out of love i think i would lose whats left of my mind and end up bleeding myself dry#i want us to be together forever and never ever stop being mates but i cant help but be terrified and confused and hurt
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voidandnull404 · 1 year
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Let's play the "Am I Manic or Am I Motivated" game! I don't know how to win and I'm terrified of losing!
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whimsyprinx · 2 years
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i think I just need to stop clinging to and getting so attached to people
#whimsy whispers#because then things fall apart and so do I#it’s also just like suffocating and annoying of me to do to people I’ve realized#like I just tend to get too attached to people and when things get bad and I can’t fix them I don’t know what to do or how to cope#especially when it feels like no one else is being affected the same way I am so it feels like it’s just a me problem#anyways guess who finally talked to their irl about how they’d been feeling for the past few months#I don’t expect for things to improve based on just doing this and idk if things will be like they use to be but this is the only friendship#that I feel like I can like idk salvage at this point#I don’t think they’ll go back to being the most important person in the world to me or my very best friend but maybe that’s for the best#it just hurts not having someone like that in my life anymore because I did genuinely love them so much but like idk I already knew they’d#never love me as much as i did like they have actual loved ones who it makes more sense to cherish more which is like obvs fine I just like#idk i feel like I generally stopped being important in general to them and that’s what hurt most#as for the other friendships I’m uncertain about there’s nothing I can do there#I talk to like very few people now and have been trying to like allow new people to try and get close to me as scary as that is#I am afraid I’ll just fuck up those relationships too tbh because everything is a cycle with me#idk I just feel stupid and helpless and like there’s nothing I can do and maybe i just need to accept that there isn’t anything I can do to#fix my mistakes like I can’t undo anything and I can’t fix them and like I just hope I’ll accept that eventually#and again I need to just learn to stop getting so attached to people it’s just abdjfktk hard for me not to but each time I hurt others or#others hurt me it makes it harder for me to want to let anyone else get closer and eventually I’m going to be all alone if this keeps up#anyways tnats tofays vent/fun little realization that I need to force myself to accept
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lqnar · 2 years
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ngl i am mentally ill
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bunnihearted · 3 months
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where is that post that is like 'if u were the girl he wanted communication would be easy for him' bc yeah... no matter how much u dont want it to be, it's true
#not me being the most dumb bitch alive thinking i was just being considerate and patient...#for 10 months 💀#and then being slapped in the face w a actually none of it mattered at all nearly enough as it did to u#and u were not even worthy of talking to or trying to communicate with or simply discussing any of it and our feelings#(which were only my feelings in the end)#and u were pathetically daydreaming and fantasizing and missing whatever 'it' was between us but i didnt really care#and it never mattered that much to me and idc to have had talked abt it and see if there was anything to off there#u were only worth being thrown away without even being told anything abt how i felt or was i was thinking#bc at the end of the day what was everything to u and what mattered so much to u was not even 1% as important to me#💀 legitimately i am dying !!!!#ig what hurts me the most that it was smth i was willing to fight for or talk abt to see if we were on the same page or were our heart lied#or like .. idk im just hurt at the fact that for him all of that was just smth to throw away. not even worthy of talking abt or simply#not even giving me a chance bc i know that time's running out but the fact that#he didnt even find it worthy enough to give a chance TALKING abt.#also what hurts me so fkn bad is that if i didnt force myself to go against my avpd and try to ask i wouldnt know anything#bc he doesnt tell me anything of that stuff and he didnt the first time either and im like#i truly am so pathetic letting someone have so much power over me just bc i love them and want them so bad#when im only a speckle of dust in their life#like ..... what is wrong with me? both bc why cant i ever be loved#EVERYBODY else always has someone!!!! i NEVER do!!! and like idk#and this is worse than a crush bc h actually talked to me and told me things and said things and it was real#(to me)#and then just stopped and i didnt know what i did and it could never be talked abt either and it just suckssssss#like why am i so fucking deeply and incredibly unlovable and worthless and not worth anything??????? not even a talk???? like wtf
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ilaiyayaya · 5 months
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🤔maybe I should keep a list of media I experience, I keep seeing like media threads and stuff, and one of my friends started one recently and like, I forget what I play/watch like a month after I finish them half the time so like, it'd probably be a good way to actually frequently refresh my memory on what media I've actually seen recently. It'd also probably motivate me to actually play and finish more games so I could add new things to the list. And also I like keeping track of things, making lists with like dates and info and stuff is fun and the more arbitrary and meaningless the list is the better. BUT LIKE I'VE MISSED LIKE 21 YEARS WORTH OF MEDIA I CAN'T JUST MAKE A LIST NOW IT'S TOO LATE!!! fuck it i'm doing it, next stop diablos!
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roaringroa · 11 months
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just sent in an assignment exactly 1:50 minutes before it was due oh my god i can feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins
#went off my adhd meds during the extended weekend cause i spent it at a uni sports competition#which means during the day i watched matches and cheered for my uni and during the night i got drunk and danced badly to music i don't like#from what i've read the meds would mess up my ability to tell when i need to stop drinking and yeah i would nawt have liked that#cause i actually pride myself in the fac that while i do get drunk and have fun i always know when to stop#like i've never in my life puked from alcohol and i almost never have hangovers the day after drinking#anyway i went off my meds and only started taking it again today so no effects yet the adhd is back full force#and honestly i wasn't too worried about this assignment cause i had to choose and comment on 3 civil law cases#each dealing with different things regarding evidence: one borrowed evidence one procuration of evidence determined by the judge#and one inversion of the onus of the evidence (with the catch of it not being a consumer relationship it had to be regulated by cpc not cdc#i had already separated each of these so i'd only have to write about them which would take what? 1 hour max?#so i started writing 21:30 pretty late considering i had almost the whole day to do it but still had a reasonable amount of time#however... as i started writing about the last one i was like hold on... and then realized i misunderstood the case and it wasn't applicabl#it was already like 22:20 by then so i scrambled to find a inversion of onus one but like ALL OF THEM ARE REGARDING CONSUMER RELATIONSHIPS!#i spent like an hour and 10 minutes trying to find one and i simply couldn't...#so i made do with a case where one part argued saying the relationship didn't fit the one described in cdc (consumer defense code)#and the judge said you can apply cdc but even if you couldn't you can apply the cpc (civil procedure code) so either way onus is inverted#and then i just pretended the whole argument was about the second point cause at that point i had like 15 min to write about it and send#did not proofread a single word idk if it's coherent or even correct but idc at least it was sent on time#and the other 2 parts are pretty well done so not too bad even if the last one is wrong#my post#anyway no classes tomorrow cause it's the day my uni was founded and they celebrate by cancelling everything so hooray
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ashtray-girl · 1 year
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it would be much easier for me to believe in the idea of community if it had applied to me even just once in my life.
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aphroditessaturn · 1 year
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𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐈𝐓, 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐈𝐓 || 𝐇.
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pairing || homelander × fem!reader
summary || Homelander constantly destroys your underwear to the point where you have none left. In conclusion you force him to buy you new ones and have the whole media see it.
warnings || SMUT; we've got tittie sucking, fingering, sublander (I love that word) but also domlander? p in v, unprotected sex, big load (he's a supe so ofc), rough sex, did I forget something?
note || this is my first homelander you guys and sure ain't the last... idk what my problem is with these difficult men and making them soft, please reblog/comment and give feedback!
BLOGS | WEBSITE | AO3 | WATTPAD | TAGLIST
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“Yes, and tomorrow you have an interview with Fox,” Ashley told Homelander as she trailed after him, clipboard clutched in her hands. The blonde nodded, not even listening completely because his mind was already on you.
He was only meters away from you and could already hear your light humming over the music that played in the background. Ashley kept talking to Homelander’s dismay, not that he wasn’t interested, especially if she was talking about his ratings.
However, you took over his thoughts and body, god, his body longed for you. With his heavy footsteps he walked towards his penthouse and thinking about every position he would put you in.
Homelander opened the doors, and Ashley was still there. He was close to cursing her out, but stopped in his tracks once he laid eyes on you.
You stood in front of the trashcan, throwing away your lingerie. Completely naked. His eyes went wide, as naked as the day you were born you stood there.
Ashley squeaked, holding her clipboard in front of her eyes, “I’m sorry, god, I’m so, so, sorry,” she apologized profusely. Quickly she run out of the room, shocked as to what she just saw and hoped that Homelander wouldn’t punish her.
“What the fuck are you doing,” he questioned you with a glare, slowly making his way over to you.
In response you pouted at him, pushing all your destroyed lingerie into the trash, “well, you see all my pretty lingerie is destroyed and now I have to throw them all away,” you looked up at him with innocent doe eyes.
“Doesn’t explain why you’re naked,” he pressed, although Homelander didn’t mind but he hated anyone else seeing what’s his.
“I have no underwear, dummy,” you teased him with a smile, one that turned his mind around. He had known for years by now and knew exactly that you acted dumber than you actually were.
His patience was waning and he fought himself to not look at your perfectly hard nipples touching his suit coveted chest.
“I can’t even wear my plain once because my handsome boyfriend ripped them when I was on my period,” you added, acting as if you didn’t know what else to do. Your arms snaking around Homelander’s neck.
“Then buy fucking new ones and don’t let anyone see you naked,” he growled as his hands found a vice grip on your hips. “Mhm, but you know the rule. If you break it, you have to replace it,” scolded him, rubbing your breasts against his suit covered chest and pulling on his concentration.
“Fine, take my card,” Homelander hissed, he wanted to get over this topic and simply fuck you. He pushed you back against the wall, his leather gloved hand stroking along the back of your thigh.
“Don’t think so, you will come with me baby boy,” you grinned at him, hooking your leg around his torso.
Homelander didn’t like that, he couldn’t go anywhere without being recognized and how would it look if a superhero was buying lingerie?
As if you could read his thoughts – which by now you could – you pushed back, caressing his cheek while pushing him back onto the sofa. He laid back with you on top of him, still gripping your waist in a way that was sure to leave bruises.
“Imagine how good your ratings would be if you buy your pretty girlfriend all that lingerie. Men would love the control you have, and women will love seeing a devoted boyfriend,” you whispered, praising him as you moved your cunt over his clothed erection.
He released a strained groan, already painfully hard, “everyone will love you,” you whispered into his ear. You leaned down, your nipple hovering over his lips.
You knew how much he loved sucking your tits and you knew what to say to get everything you wanted.
“And don’t you wanna choose what I should wear? I’m too stup-,” “Fine, I’ll fucking go with you,” Homelander hissed and switched you around, now on top of you and his pearl white teeth bared.
Your thighs clenched, your cunt already soaking wet, but you had to suppress the smirk of triumph.
Homelander latched onto your nipple, sucking on it hungrily while his right hand kneaded your unattended breast. You threaded your hand through his gold-blonde hair, harshly tugging on his roots.
His tongue licked around your nipple before gently biting down causing you to arch your back, “John,” you moaned.
With a ‘plop’ sound he released your breast, looking up at you through his beautiful lashes.
Slowly his hand trailed down to your core, the cool leather of his glove causing goosebumps to dance along your skin. He rubbed his thumb over your clit as his attention directed towards you other breast.
You could feel his desperation, it wasn’t from the conversation just moments before, no. It was because of the other team members had gotten his last nerve, VOUGHT had gotten on his last nerve, everyone had gotten on his last nerve.
“Oh, baby,” you mused with a loving smile, taking a deep breath. The pressure on your clit increased, and your breath quickened.
John immediately picked up on your behavior, you were close to your high. He inserted his middle and ring finger inside you, “fuck,” you groaned at the new feeling of his thick fingers.
“They’re all brainless idiots, can’t do a thing right,” he gritted his teeth, curling his fingers against your g-spot. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you tried to come up with words to response, John expected it from you.
“Mhm, yeah, they’re-,” your sentence was cute off by a loud moan slipping from your lips as he bit onto your nipple.
He sucked harder, a desperate call for praise, “you’re right, they’re all brainless, but you, you’re the best of them. John, you’re smart, pretty and the greatest supe,” it rolled off your tongue naturally.
To you he was perfect, he could do no wrong and maybe you were sick in the head for thinking that.
“Make me come, please make mommy come,” you pleaded, grip still tight in his hair. Without hesitation John brought you to your orgasm, a pornographic moan fell from your mouth as you bucked your hips up to meet his thrusts.
“You did so good, you’re perfect John,” you praised as your high rushed through your blood, god you felt amazing.
Homelander reeled in your praise, he needed it to function properly. While he enjoyed, loved, controlling you, telling you what to do and not to do, John worshipped the ground you walked on.
-----
Ahley organized the press along with fans to stand in front of your favourite lingerie shop, Homelander was for once wearing something casual – you forced him to.
“It looks better, trust me,” you told him with a pointed look, “you want them to love you, don’t you?” you added, knowing this would push him over the edge.
Now he wore dark jeans, sneakers and a matching polo shirt. He had a charming smile on his face as he escorted you into the store which was empty – expect for a cashier. Never before did you have the chance of shopping private like this, online shops were your best friend.
Your man looked around, already picturing you in some of the lingerie that catched his eye. “What do you think of this one?” you asked, showing him a blue piece, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, just a baby blue lace set.
“It’s uhm, pretty,” boring, fucking boring, was what he wanted to say. You rolled your eyes playfully and continued looking around, until something unique came into your sight.
Quickly you took your size and vanished into the changing room, of course Homelander heard you and followed you curiously.
You put on the hot pink bra, the underside was see-through, and the top was decorated with flowers. The slip was the same, meaning most of your vagina was visible add to that it was connected with two strings on each side.
The accessory that made you pick it was the choker, it came with a chain that went down between your breasts and was attached to flower shaped belt which fitted your waist perfectly.
Homelander waited outside, impatiently looking around the room until you were ready. Then you opened the curtain, revealing yourself.
You smiled at him innocently, “how does this look?” you asked. He took a step towards you, hand tracing along the fabric and causing a shiver to run down your spine. Suddenly he hooked his point finger around the chain, slowly dragging you to him.
He leaned down, lips hovering over yours, “you’re playing a dangerous game little lady,” he whispered. You pouted, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him impossibly close.
“I’m not playing any game,” you told him honestly, playing with the tiny hairs on his nape. “Don’t think just because they’re many, many people out there I won’t fuck you till you can’t walk anymore,” Homelander threatened, but was it really a threat if you would enjoy every second of it?
“Promise?” you smirked and within a second you were pressed against a wall. Homelander slid his hand down to your core, in your mind you already knew what was about to happen.
With that he snapped the pink panties in half, pushing his two fingers inside you, “look at that, little slut is already wet,” he taunted you.
Your head fell back as he curled his fingertips against your cervix, his unoccupied hand came up to lift your leg around his torso.
“Does that feel good mhm? Come on let me hear you, let them hear you,” he rubbed his thumb over your clit, finally drawing a moan from you. Homelander kissed you, hard, pushing his tongue into your mouth.
He showed his dominate side, hand leaving your side to undo your hand around his neck. Slowly moving it towards his belt, a silent order to open it which you follow without hesitation.
The trousers of his suit fell to the ground, Homelander hosted you up into his arms and entering you in one stroke, giving you no time to adjust to his size – as if he ever did.
You moaned, biting your lip in pleasure. For a moment he stilled inside you, his heavy breathing hitting your skin. Slowly he moved his hips upwards, you could feel him stretching your cunt, feel him hit that spongy spot inside you.
“Fuck, you’re fucking me so good, so good,” you groaned, eyes rolling in the back of your head. Homelander grinned at you, “yes, yes, tell me how good I’m. Fucking tell me and I will let you cream all over my fat cock.”
“You’re good, fucking amazing, baby. No one compares to you, you’re so good,” you chanted as he pounded into you at a ruthless pace.
Sometimes you wondered if your cervix could form bruises, but what you knew was that it could become difficult to walk out of this store.
A tight knot formed in your stomach, pleasure building up and you gripped Homelander’s hand, guiding it towards your clit.
“That’s right, I’m fucking you and you love it, you love me. Say it, come on,” he growled, letting go of your thigh and you closed your legs around his waist, sucking his cock deeper in. You need to feel more of him.
His hand came up to your throat as you didn’t answer, stilling inside of you, “I said, tell me you love me, or I will fill you until my seed is dripping down your legs and you can’t take it anymore, but you little lady, little slut won’t get to come.”
Tears welled in your eyes, you wouldn’t even mind it and he fucking knew it, but for your own sanity you had to answer him. Play into his game, because in your sick twisted mind you enjoyed it.
“I love you, I love you so fucking much,” you whimpered, clutching your hands on his shoulders, begging him to move.
“You do, don’t you? Want me to make you come, want me to fill you up?” he asked, though he knew the answer he, wanted to hear it from you.
“Mhm, yes, want you to make me come, please, please and fill me up, I want it so bad,” you begged, and he finally moved again, rocking his hips up. They you begged him brought him closer to his high, he loved having you at his mercy, doing everything he wanted.
A pornographic moan slipped from your lips as he rubbed over your clit and hit your g-spot. You reached your high, the knot exploding and smashed your lips onto Homelander’s to muffle another moan.
He barred his teeth, releasing his cum into your cunt and his pace slowed down. “Come, paint me baby,” you whispered into his ear.
----
“These please,” you grinned at the woman working the register, letting a pile of lingerie fall onto the counter. Every sort of color and shape, nervously the woman cashed you up, “a bag?” she asked to which you nodded.
“That will be 300,36 please,” she said, “cash or card?” she added, looking at you and not daring to spare Homelander a glance.
You held out your palm to your boyfriend who huffed before putting his card into your hand, “thank you,” you said and laid the card down, then stepping aside once it signaled, “pin, “ you told him and gestured to the machine.
Homelander put in the pin while the cashier packed everything up, handing it to you, “thank you very much,” you smiled.
Finally, she found the voice to ask Homelander for an autograph, “oh, sure everything for my fans! You guys are the real hero’s,” he showed her his pearly white teeth and signed her card.
“We could do this a lot more often, go shopping together, maybe have a little lunch date,” you trailed off, teasing him.
Outside there was a lightening of reporters and fans, all wanted pictures and asked questions. In Homelander style and because of Vought, he answered some of them, but he had to keep himself together.
"What is it like to have such a devoting boyfriend?"
"Anything else you do for your girlfriend?"
"How is you future looking? The two of you are a beautiful couple!"
"Thank you, thank you! The future is bright and what my girl wants she gets, there is truly nothing I won't give her," he smiled at them brightly. You posed for pictures, getting bolder with every flash.
Homelander wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side to whisper in your ear. "You better behave little lady, I will punish you until you can't walk a fuckinf millimetre."
"Promise?"
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please reblog/comment and give feedback! I would love to know if you like my Homelander fics, I have so many ideas
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