#And they would rather not be labelled as such

[gege-wondering-around]

can i just say that Elizabeth and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice are the old school version of Stiles and Derek?

Cause i will shout this from my balcony till it breaks beneath me!

Stiles (Elizabeth or if you want, 'lizzy') not giving a flying f about Derek (Darcy) cause this rich dude has no care for others and just runs on raw pride, which lead all his decisions. Which ultimately makes him look like the worst man on earth to Stiles' eyes, which is why he stays away from Derek.

But then, solitary man Derek will start to fall in love with this intelligent and fine creature (stiles) because he couldn't be more difficult to get!

Stiles doesn't care about society, stiles is sharp and of an intellectual awareness that defy every man in search of the tipycal silly type to ask for marriage, and Derek cannot stress himself enough about this sweet, pretty thing dancing around at balls and answering rudeness with politeness mixed with the most sublime undertone of confidence and assertiveness.

cause stiles doesn't care about money or status, stiles cares about marrying someone he truly loves and when he realized derek did love him, he felt sooooo ashamed of how judgemental he had been of this poor man who just wanted his hand! because derek loved him enough to forgive stiles for his harsh words towards him (cause stiles thought of him as a bad individual and spoke of it to him) from the past and was then a more genuine version of himself.

And as Derek and Stiles tangle their lives together because of friends and family, they end up as the most tight knot that will not be undone! especially after derek hear about stiles' high chin and firm words of 'i may not be engaged to him now, but fear i may will' that he spoke to Derek's aunt when she went to stiles to disagree of their possibile engagement

and what did stiles do?

respond to the rudeness of this lady with the sharpest and most confidence tone of 'we will choose for ourselves' which, when derek heard about this, made him go so out of his path to get stiles.

because they didn't know each other, then they did, and they fell in love. and they weren't going to NOT act on it.

(summary: enemies to lovers. which is now my new obsession- yes, i never invested into enemies to lovers, but now i might do some digging)

I'm gonna write a retelling of this so bad.

imagine.

this kind of pretty stiles (with a sharp tongue and pretty look that defy how his mind actually thinks and hides how much 'intellectual power' he has since, for the time the story it's set in, lizzy is an unusual brave woman who would rather marry the poor guy, love of her life over the rich, cold man with money)

pretty because lizzy is viewed as a very pretty women who is recognized as such in society (which dancy then calls 'the most beautiful women I've even seen in my entire life' after someone says she's not even that pretty)

who's personality can go from this ⬇️

yk, funny, outgoing, polite (sort of) and overall a wonderful presence to have conversations with and engage in sharing opinions and dance with during balls (in which her figure is gracefully dancing and all the other stuff i dont remember)

to this ⬇️

a wonderful undertone of 'f you with respect' and 'who do you think you are', who will also be able to undo you in 30 seconds in a verbal battle cause he has the intelligence and intellectual knowledge to do so and WILL do so without much regards for consequences cause he'll do so in a way that will makes it unable for you to bite back cause you'll end up the one being labeled as rude.

pared with

this angry looking fool, who looks more arrogant than anything most of the day, to most people (and even those who knows him talk very little of his doings, because he hides his true emotions and intentions. and despite pride being his fuel, he's still a caring man who is not talk about much if not for his money = they talk about his fortune and not the values he has, despite the sort of 'contorted' way in which everything is based on pride)

(which could also be older, but who know what I'll end up choosing when i write this - because yes, i love older men ⬇️)

who, ultimately, will look at stiles like this⬇️

because 'damn, you are the only person i want by my side for the rest of my life' and he wont be able to move his gaze elsewhere cause despite being an a-hole to stiles for the major part of theirshared time, he was still able to redeem himself by showing his kindness and actually gets stiles.

while stiles is like

because after pulling up the bad facade of 'i dont give a f about you cause i think you are rude', he felt ashamed when he found he was wrong about him but then darcy (derek) forgives him and he can't hold his feelings anymore and just shows everything through his eyes and the soft laughter he lets out when they talk cause he has still to process how much these two are gonna love each other (this, before they are engaged)

so.

I'll buy the book (cause i read a school fitted version of it), annotate things, write down some coherent line of plot and one day, I'll write everything down.

till then, I'll scream about this from my balcony, thanks for have come to this sort of tedtalk.

and this is for you, my sweet @dontcallpanic, i hope you'll like my little gift as I'm still working, rather slowly, on my replies for you 🩵🫂

[genderqueerdykes]

Is it weird that I get bothered by people insisting that I'm nonbinary? I'm bigender, man and woman specifically, and while I have minus issues with other people identifying with the nonbinary label, I get extremely uncomfortable when others try to insist that I am part of it.

Like... maybe I would be technically, by definition. But I have never felt like I'm outside the binary, but rather that I encapsulate the entirety of it to extremes that the cishetero binary very clearly does NOT approve of. My presentation is extravagant and over the top no matter how I do it, and because they don't adher to what a man or woman should look like by cishetero norms, people consistently seem to interpret this as me not having a gender? As if I'm deliberately going out of my way to be subvertive, when really I just do whatever I like, which just happens to be being flashy and all over the place depending on my mood.

I feel a bit bad, because I know that for some people all these things are related to them not being nonbinary! But the assumptions that I feel the same without my input frustrates me, it feels as if my gender is worth less to people because they're "just" man and woman and therefore stereotypical. Everytime I assert that I am not comfortable by being called they/them I am apparently overreacting because they're not gendered pronouns.

I don't feel like I'm making sense, it just feels so bad because most of my loved ones are nonbinary and I am always there to defend them and their right to express who they are, yet at the same time it's like a few of them only support for me for as long as I don't point out that our struggles don't become less similar and intertwined just because I don't like having labels applied to me against my wishes.

that's not weird! nobody likes being called something they're not

just because someone has multiple genders does not make that person or their genders non binary. especially if you feel your manhood and womanhood fit within the bounds of binary manhood and womanhood. there's nothing wrong with that, that's still an expression of bigenderism!

i think it's rude for people to assume that you're nonbinary because your gender isn't "just male or female". there are agender, genderqueer and genderfluid people who don't consider themselves non binary. it's okay if you don't, too, and don't want to be referred to by a term you don't use

good luck, i know stuff like that isn't easy. it's unnecessarily difficult to get people to refer to us properly- people love to make assumptions and run with them. it's disrespectful. take care of yourself

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Scams, Fakes, Performance, & Belief

Peaceful Property: On Sale, ep. 4

This week's episode was filled with fakes: online order scams, magicians, compromised democratic processes, and a fake ghost. What reasons do we have to believe in anything? Everything is just an attempt to pull the wool over our eyes while the rugs get pulled out from under us so others can make a quick buck and protect their own hide. Who wants to be fooled by all the shams?

Pangpang does. Jan Ployshompoo has been fantastic in this role, and she got to devour this episode. Jan specializes in a 'camp' performance style that's easy to undervalue. 'Camp' acting involves overacting the characters and emotions, and lesser actors often approach it with self-awareness and cynicism. Jan understands my favorite note on camp that Susan Sontag wrote.

“56. Camp taste is a kind of love, love for human nature. It relishes, rather than judges, the little triumphs and awkward intensities of “character.” . . . Camp taste identifies with what it is enjoying. People who share this sensibility are not laughing at the thing they label as “a camp,” they’re enjoying it. Camp is a tender feeling.”

The tender affection in Jan's 'camp' hits the themes of this episode home (no pun intended) because she infuses compassion for her over-the-top characters. They get to have range and reasons for their shallowness.

Pangpang's manic overperformance as a social-media influencer has been all about naively buying into every gimmick for herself and from others. Home, probably from his own similarities, points out to Peach how she's doing this as a form of compensation. All along she needed to believe in something because she needed to believe in her brother, to believe when no one else would in his debilitating fear and grief. She didn't need evidence to believe he saw ghosts as he said. She needed to believe she could be there for him even if she didn't know how. Pangpang chooses enchantment because staying true to her brother and her own feelings of loss over their parents are more important than being the winner of some existential argument.

The problem of deception lies at the heart of performance, and I often have a sense that performers and production crews invest a little more when they have to address it (Foei Patara who played Chobkol GAVE!). They have to prove that there is value and truth in the make-believe and assisting people in doing it. For a while, they need their audience to return to the magic of childhood so that they'll clap to show they believe in fairies when Tinkerbell's light begins to fade.

I loved how Peaceful Property symbolized this return to innocence as an egg, a kind of spiritual rebirth. If we want to believe in the magic of fantasy (Kan), the potential in ourselves (Peach), and the value of others (Home), we have to let go of our guarded cynicism. It won't eliminate the harsher truths of reality. They'll arrive one way or another. But we don't need to be the person who crushes our own dreams or who crush others' dreams just because we're scared of being vulnerable. We need to be people like Pangpang who want to believe and help others on their journey to believing good things are possible.

[ryuzakemo128]

Goodnight & Sweet dreams

Pairing: Poly 141 x Australian Female Reader

Content Warnings: Cheating, Affair, remarriage, no mention of y/n or the variation of 'you', Possible prequel?, third person written. Angst.

Words: 1707

Masterlist

Credit for Dividers: @cafekitsune + @strangergraphics

Credit for the Divider Template: @cafekitsune

Note: You have many code names. Many. Many of them are used by certain people. Like the devil. You have many names. Boomer, Opal, Crimson and Emerald are the main ones used to refer to you. As your real name is covered in layers of black ink and confidential files restricted to the higher-ups.

Note 2: The only defining factors, I will give you, are the following: Codename. As labelled. Height. You are not small. You are rather tall, at least six feet and four inches. Roughly the same height as Ghost. Your voice is also quite deep, for reasons you can come up with yourself. As no answer is wrong or right. Might make an oc version sometime.

Note 3: I suggest listening to Moon Shadow by Cat Stevens when you read this.

Summary: “I don’t see you the same way anymore. I don’t respect cheaters, no matter the reason you might have had. You ruined this home by yourself.”

Boomer grew up on a farm in the Australian outback. Her father is an Australian Commando. Thus, she didn't see him nearly as often as her mother, who happened to cheat on her father while he was deployed. Her excuse was the lack of affection making her cheat with his older brother, Marcus. The CEO of a tech company he started up in America.

“I don’t see you the same way anymore. I don’t respect cheaters, no matter the reason you might have had. You ruined this home by yourself.” Boomer told her mother once her father came back on leave. He was immediately told by her.

Boomer decided to stay with her father, even though the divorce, and she hadn’t spoken to her mother since the end of the divorce had taken place. Her father, even though heart broken about the affair and the eventual divorce, he tried to keep a positive attitude through it all. Boomer saw right through quite often.

Pulling things apart, fixing them regardless of what it was, became Boomer's silent mantra as she grew older, mirroring the tireless work ethic of her father.

The farm grew quiet without her mother's laughter, but it grew stronger with the echoes of her father's footsteps and the occasional clank of tools as he taught her the ropes of being a true Australian commando.

She took to the training like a natural, her determination fuelled by the anger she felt towards her mother's betrayal. Each push-up, each mile run, every target hit, was a declaration of her loyalty to the truth and the man who never abandoned her.

“I don’t want to become my mother and cheat on any potential spouse, man or woman.” Boomer, adamant in wanting to be reliable regardless of any circumstances she would encounter in her life.

Her father often came home to small things fixed like the broken tractor, a leaky sink, and even a few upgrades to the farm’s security system.

Even reading into carpentry DIY projects like the bee aviaries she built from scratch. Her dedication to self-reliance grew, and so did her skills, a silent promise to never become what her mother was.

Her aunt, Alyssa, came over a few times a month to keep the house from going up in flames. Boomer showed her all the DIY things she made, often wanting to rescue bees from abandoned areas, unwanted areas and sometimes even from people’s backyards.

Her father had a slight smirk on his face when she brought home her first queen bee, a rare breed she had found in the forest. He knew she had her mother’s charm and beauty, but he was proud she had chosen a path of honesty and reliability.

Alyssa’s work as a beekeeper rehoming bees from areas where they aren’t wanted became an unexpected bonding point for Boomer. Her aunt’s gentle nature with the creatures and the way she spoke about them as if they were soldiers in a grand army, protecting the future of the planet, sparked a fascination within Boomer.

She began to see the world through a different lens, one that valued every creature’s contribution, and the delicate balance that needed to be maintained.

Her father noticed the change in her, the way she had found peace in the buzzing of the bees and the precision of their movements. He knew this was something more than just a phase; it was a piece of her soul finding its place in the world.

The farm grew not only in crops but in life as well, with more bees thriving under Alyssa’s guidance and Boomer’s care. It became a sanctuary for those who needed a second chance, a reflection of Boomer’s own spirit.

Boomer took the bee’s safety and health seriously, researching how to take care of the bees better and what ways to keep them happy as well as healthy.

Setting up a mini lab to study the bees in their natural environment without disrupting them became a weekend routine. The bees had become more than just a hobby; they were her silent companions, a symbol of her resilience and unyielding spirit.

One thing her father noticed was the ebony wood varnish on the bee aviaries, making them look more like a piece of art rather than a simple shelter for bees.

He knew his daughter had a creative side to her, but he never knew it would be expressed in such a way. Her creations weren’t just functional, but aesthetically pleasing, a reflection of her respect and admiration for the bees.

Each aviary was named after a character from an X-Men comic she loved as a child. She had found solace in their stories, in their struggle for acceptance and fighting for what they believed in despite their differences.

Her favourite, the Wolverine aviary, housed the most aggressive bees, which she found quite fitting. Each name was engraved in a small brass plate at the entrance, adding a touch of whimsy to the otherwise utilitarian structures.

She would then sell the honey on the farmer’s market for her pocket money. As she grew older, her love for bees remained as she got more invested in the military. She enlisted at seventeen, she told her father she wanted to because it felt like it was the right thing to do.

“I’ll give it my best shot, I promise.” Boomer pinky swore, her eyes gleaming with excitement and determination as she held her father’s hand tightly. His calloused grip returned the gesture, a silent promise of support and belief in her.

Her expertise in heavy weaponry like heavy machine guns, grenade launchers, rocket launchers, miniguns, anti-material rifles, and even the rare use of the Predator drone grew from her time in the military. She had always been a good shot, something her father had noticed when they used to go hunting together back in the outback.

Boomer dove into electrical engineering, electrical technology, nanotechnology and even robotics. During her military training, it was an eye-opener to an even bigger world. A world she is more than a little keen on learning more about day by day. Even reading more about in her downtime.

Growing up, her pets were bees and the blue Merle Shetland Sheepdogs that her aunt brought with her, which grew into a small pack over the years. They became her loyal companions, protecting the farm and the bees from predators. The dogs had an uncanny sense of when Boomer was upset, and they’d often sit by her side, offering comfort with their soft, warm presence. Her father named her first dog, Blue, after her mother’s favourite colour, hoping it would bring some peace to their lives.

Other than beekeeping and pulling things apart. The extracurricular activities she got into before she turned seventeen were gymnastics and ice skating.

Gymnastics was a way to keep her body in tip-top shape, she was always a fast learner and had a knack for acrobatics. The strength and flexibility it gave her were surprisingly useful in the field, allowing her to navigate tight spaces and pull off stunts most wouldn’t dare.

Ice skating, on the other hand, was her escape. The cool rush of the wind against her face, the sound of the blades cutting through the ice, it was her silent battlefield where she faced and conquered her inner demons, pushing herself beyond her limits.

Boomer, at sixteen years old, rescued a nine-month-old blind cat on the way home from school once, her father saw her with it. She was determined to care for the blind cat and named her, Shadow. The cat's full name is Moon Shadow. Naming it after the song Moon Shadow by Cat Stevens.

One of her father’s favourite songs. Thus, it became one of her many favourite songs as well. A classic ‘60s song amongst the many she would listen to on repeat. She listened to it when she got ready for bed, even after he passed months after her 24th birthday.

Her father’s death was a blow she never saw coming. A heart attack in his sleep, the doctor’s said it was peaceful. But for Boomer, it was anything but peaceful.

Her entire world had crumbled around her. The one constant, the one person she had always relied on, was no longer there.

It took a while to mourn her father, taking on many short term to keep herself from going off into the deep end. A distraction to keep her moving, both in mind, body and soul.

The farm remained her sanctuary, but now it was filled with the echoes of her father’s laughter, her aunt’s gentle guidance, and the ever-present hum of the bees.

She continued her military service with renewed vigor, channeling her grief into her work, seeking solace in the structure and discipline it provided.

Most of her dead dad jokes were made to help her cope with her father’s death. If he were around to hear them. He would most likely face palm himself. Followed by an even darker one in return.

“I loved my father. He’s got a darker sense of humour than I did and possibly ever have.” Boomer told her therapist. “I have my pet cats and my dogs. But I live on my own on the farm now.”

The therapist nodded, scribbling something down on her notepad. “How has that been for you?”

“Too quiet. I don’t particularly like the quiet as much as I used to. Maybe it was the fact I had other people around me?” Boomer answered, her voice filled with a tinge of sadness.

The therapist, Dr. Krovic, nodded thoughtfully. “It’s common to feel that way after a loss. The quiet can be deafening when you’re used to the noise of a loving home. Tell me, have you considered getting involved in any social activities? Maybe reconnecting with your mother?”

“If she wanted to, she would have made the effort ages ago.” Boomer replied.

The thought of her mother still brought a bitterness that lingered in the back of her throat. She knew the woman had moved on, living a life of luxury with her aunt’s husband, Marcus. It was a life that didn’t have room for her, not anymore.

[ultfreakme]

Jon and Co-dependence: my boy's mad at me. i'm going to make him move in w/ me and make him popcorn

Absolute Power: Super Son gave me a lot to think about. In terms of writing I really can't complain, it was executed very well for a one-shot. But in terms of characters, I'm frustrated(in a way indicative of good writing) about Jon and Nia.

This issue does not resolve Jon's problems, it brings them to audience awareness in an explicit manner. People who've been keeping a keen eye on Jon saw this coming since 2021 in SOKE but no writer stated it in clear terms on page this way. Avoidance, denial, and an inability to think in terms of his humanity and only as a tool or a part of a whole(family, romance, friendship). Jon knows he's avoidant, he doesn't like thinking about his trauma or talking about it, he will suffer through it alone. Even in his deepest, most lowest moment, he speaks of his own trauma in terms of his family.

His autonomy and individuality have been slowly chipped away by the prospect of being Superman. Superman does not live for himself, he takes risks and sacrifices himself for the greater good. That label and the shadow of his father in that suit has been following him since he was 9-10 years old.

The only thing Jon seems to want solely for himself, is Jay.

Up until this point, Jon has been fairly chill and normal about seemingly on the surface. Their relationship was always very sweet, they were always on the same page and never had a reason to fight. There is a deep admiration and respect between them. But the understanding, the ability to see the person for who they are at their core, has yet to happen.

Regardless of that, Jon loves Jay in a way that is damn near unhealthy and codependent.

His love for Jay is what breaks Jon out of Brainiac Queen(BQ)'s control, but it makes him reckless and impulsive. He needs Jay in his life. Throughout the issue, Jay was pointedly not present in the dreams Nia constructed to keep Jon's mind safe from BQ's attack. This is precisely what kept breaking any shield Nia put up.

Jay's absence drives Jon deeper into spiraling. The lies Nia made for Jon never, ever worked because Jay was missing. A dream of his which Nia repeatedly showed Jon and which Jon has admitted is his wish to move to San Fran and get an apartment with Jay in it.

Nia gave him the apartment and the city but not the man and that always, ALWAYS broke Jon out. When Nia isn't around to keep things in-check, Jon just spontaneously remembers Jay on his own and inserts him into the dreamscape.

Nia built those dreams to protect Jon, but also to help him in fighting back but Jon was extremely weak to BQ's control regardless of those efforts. The only time Jon manages to find the strength to fight back is when Nia drops the dreams and instead just shows him the truth of BQ and acknowledges his trauma. She correctly identified that Jon needs help to fight back, but not through falsehoods, but through the truth.

That's when Jon fights back and breaks out of the control. At every turn, Jay and the things he stands for are what pull Jon out of false comfort.

There's those phrases right? Sweet dreams. Ugly truths. That's Nia and Jay.

The reality with Jay is nothing like a dream but Jon would rather take the pain of reality than be trapped in fake happiness. There was a pattern in the issue where Jon kept texting Jay after every dream session with the Amazonians. Jay checking in asking if he's okay, Jon replying he's 'totally fine' despite not feeling like that. Jay was his guide to the truth in SOKE, AOSJK, and now Super Son.

Jon's had his reality fucked with a LOOOOOOOT. Manchester Black, Waller & BQ, Injustice Universe, and the whole space trip. Jon has had this existential turmoil since he was a child, it was made worse by his trip to space with Jor-El. The impossibility of his existence is frequently emphasized. Most people see it as a miracle, Jon sees it as point of fear and doubt about his existence. He needs something, anything to stay above the surface and that is Jay.

Like, it is now canon, that Jay is Jon's tether to reality. He is the one thing he will selfishly ask for himself and by golly is he selfish about it. He clings. It's a repeated pattern.

The night they become official, the tendencies start showing.

SOKE establishes that Jay is always the one letting go, and Jon is always the one holding on by any means necessary. This leads to so truly ✨Problematic✨decisions on Jon's part.

A list, if I may:

Gives Jay a new suit and half-proposes to him with a legion ring

Nearly fights Batman over him

Goes to Jay's counterpart in the injustice-verse with no evidence of if he may be good or not and just trusts him blindly

Took Jay to his own Fortress of Solitude and planned on keeping him there during the Siege of Gamorra

Burst in through a wall because he thought Jay was in danger

Asks to move in with him and move across the country with him

Safe to say, Jon needs Jay in some deep, fundamental, and kind of unhealthy way. The last one happens when Jay suggests it's not going to work between them if Jon insists he must forgive Nia. You don't define your own reality based on one person if you don't got issues, and unfortunately Jay does dish it like it is and calls himself the truth so like Jay was doomed from the second he opened his mouth and posted his recordings online.

Jay suggested breaking it off-- for understandable reasons- and within five minutes Jon dropped his very first "I love you" to Jay and asked him to move in with him.

This kind of leads to Jon deifying Jay and not seeing him entirely as a person. Jay is deeply upset about his mother's death, when Jon just rush at him with moving in together, Jay cries but doesn't immediately agree. He actually pulled away and seemed like he might have protested if not for the Amazonians calling Jon in to stop Waller.

Jay's relationship with Jon is filled with this, and Jay has to call Jon out to slow down and address Jay's issues(this makes him sound so bad, he really isn't, he' just gets too caught up in "protect him protect him protect him" mode when he's under distress). He does this when Jon is about to leave him to go fight Bendix, and in AOSJK when Jon's being all happy about getting to go out freely in public while Jay's stuck wearing disguises.

Jon's tendency to view Jay as his tether leads to him dismissing Jay's very human, raw and awful emotions. It's why he's so shocked when Jay feels nothing about Nia's death. It's also why he's quick to just ignore the topic and because yeah he feels terrible about it but if he keeps pushing this, Jay will leave him.

Jay's story.....is one of a loss of autonomy, just as much as Jon's. It happens in how he gains his powers, the way Nia betrayed him, the loss of his secret identity which he HEAVILY relied on to convey news, the seeming loss/ lowered involvement with The Truth news streams, and frequently with Jon where Jon chips at it with his desperate need to keep Jay by his side.

Jay doesn't dream of San Fran. Jay doesn't dream of shared apartments. No one has yet to properly let Jay cry about the loss of his country and his mother. Jon's avoidance strategy HURTS Jay here in an immense way.

If this keeps going, this relationship is going to break. Jay's always putting up with this, with Jon, because at this moment, he has no family. Jon is his closest tie to anyone, he can't let him go either because if he does he loses his entire support system but he's willing to since he actually prioritizes his grief over his mother. Jon centering Jay as a concept around his desire for himself is going to cause huge problems in the future.

Anyways, Jon's a freak, free Jay. Stan toxic yaoi.

[blindvogel]

It's still so long until Halloween, and I am just rotating them in my head like in a microwave. Continuing the short exploration of Emmrich and my Rook with a slightly longer one. They're being adults about things. Mostly.

~~~

Kamari isn’t actively avoiding the conversation with Emmrich but ever since that evening and the kiss there just doesn’t seem to be time or a private moment. But it still changes things between them, and why wouldn’t it. She kissed him and he quite readily kissed her back and they both know that, or at the very least she does.

And it’s not that Emmrich hovers over her but she notices him standing closer, offering assistance even more readily than usual. When their eyes meet, they linger. A different kind of dance than she is used to. If the others make note, at least for the time being they do not mention it.  

She ascribes her noticing to this newfound awareness and proximity. That when they return from a trip to the Anderfels with Davrin, covered in scrapes and bruises from a tangle with some demons and darkspawn, her eyes catch the trickle of blood seeping from below his many bangles. 

“Emmrich, your arm,” she says with some alarm, instinctively reaching for him. She catches his elbow, pulling his left arm up to better see the wound.

“Oh it is nothing, just a scratch. You needn't worry.” His voice has the usual untroubled tone but Kamari isn’t buying it, or letting him downplay the issue for that matter. Where darkspawn are involved she isn’t taking any risks. 

“This needs cleaning and a poultice. I know you have everything in your study. Come.” 

She keeps hold of his elbow and pulls him along, with no resistance to speak of, not even another attempt to make light of the situation. 

“Take off the coat, if you can,” she instructs as she finally releases her hold on him when they reach the study, and she goes hunting for a basin of warm water, salves and bandages. Thankfully Emmrich is a very tidy man, everything is neatly labeled and exactly at the place it should be, so it takes her almost no time. When she returns and sets down everything she needs on the table, he has managed to divest himself of the coat - even if she can tell it hasn't been easy. 

Kamari sighs softly and takes hold of his elbow again, rolling the sleeve of his shirt further up with quick practiced movements and then carefully but firmly pushes him to sit down in the chair. Now she doesn’t have to crane her neck to see his face, and notices that he is looking at her intently with that little smile that makes her stomach do somersaults. 

“No need to make such a grim face, Kamari. It really is nothing.” His voice is soothing and she would like to let it but instead just shakes her head and looks down at his arm and the work ahead. 

Emmrich doesn’t object when she lifts his hand towards her and then carefully sets to work to remove the copious amounts of jewelry currently obstructing her view. 

After a moment she finds him to be uncharacteristically quiet.

“I don’t want you to hide it from me when you are hurt,” she says softly into the silence between them as she pulls a bangle off as carefully as she can, then another one. She sees his long fingers twitch to ball his hand into a fist, then forcibly relax. Despite what he said the wound does hurt him. 

“Only if you give me your word that you do the same.” 

That catches her off guard and Kamari looks up, confused. Emmrich is still looking at her intently, as if he is trying to solve a particularly complicated puzzle. 

“I didn’t-”

“When you left rather abruptly a few nights ago,” he interrupts her, “after, uhm, our kiss. I thought that- well.” She continues to stare at him as color rises in his cheeks. It’s so rare to see him flustered. Then she looks back down, at his hand she is currently holding and the bracelets she still needs to remove, hurting him in the process. She can’t-

“Let me finish getting these all off and then we can talk, alright? I don’t want to do this while I am hurting you.”

“You’re not-” “Emmrich, please!” It comes out a little more pleading than she wants to and his hand turns, capturing hers. Kamari continues to look down, lets herself focus on the way his fingers wrap around her hand, how gentle they are, how steady.

“Of course. Forgive me.” His voice is just as gentle and patient. Kamari nods, still not meeting his eyes.

The next few moments she does her best to work quickly to pull the remaining bangles off, work as carefully as she can. She sees his fingers twitch but otherwise he doesn’t make a sound. Only when she puts the last one down does she notice him slump a little into the chair. 

Now she also gets a good look at the wound. It’s jagged and ugly but not too deep, more painful than dangerous. A breath escapes her that she didn’t notice she was holding. 

“I’m almost finished. Almost done,” she reassures him and lightly squeezes his hand before looking up. Emmrich looks a little tired now, but he meets her gaze steadily and with a little smile. Kamari fights the urge to lean in and kiss him for his patience, instead she returns his smile with one of her own.

“Right,” she says then and moves on to gently clean the wound and his arm. As she works, she talks. Since she promised.

“That night when I left, you didn’t do anything wrong, didn’t hurt me. I just… I thought for a moment that you would try to apologize and say it was a mistake. You made that face. And I panicked a little, I guess. Only the next day did I realize that that wasn’t it, that it probably was just about being spooked by Manfred since well, since you didn’t say anything else and I know you definitely would have if you truly were sorry. So I just…” She’s rambling, definitely, but it feels good to say these things out loud and get them off her chest and since Emmrich doesn’t interrupt her, she gets through her speech and through bandaging up his arm before he even gets a word in. 

Except he doesn’t have to say anything to stop her rambling. He simply takes her hand and pulls it to his face, pressing his lips to her knuckles, and she feels breathless. 

“I am sorry for how that night ended. I am quite out of practice, to be honest,” he says with a sheepish smile and Kamari finds herself drifting closer. “Please, I would like to make it up to you.”

“You don’t-”, she starts but then interrupts herself when he presses another kiss to the inside of her wrist and her whole body suddenly feels electric. His lips linger and she knows he must feel her pulse quicken beneath her skin. 

And when he then looks up at her with such unguarded affection there is no need for another word. She simply leans in and kisses him again.

[tracle0]

I want to talk about magic systems in The Spiders Song (and it’s sequel) and explain ideas I have that may or may not make it into the actual book.

Let’s start with sigils.

Sigils are the common name given to magic in written form. They are a manifestation of the Squids magic, and it’s servants are able to tap into its abilities to write their own sigils. It is, however, a lot more complicated than that.

See, the Squid is the god of writing. That’s pretty much it. It’s magic is manifesting other magic in written form, for communicating ideas to later generations or giving you an experience or warning strangers of something. Inflicting an ill will on them. Whatever! Sigils are versatile as a result. They can communicate a wide range of things, channel a wide range of magics. Every single strand of these magics has a source, and not a single one of those sources is the Squid itself.

Basically, sigils have their own language you need to learn in order to channel magic correctly. The language is not random; it could be called the gods tongue, if gods had their own physical form and spoke. You make a sigil by writing down the god in question who’s magic you want to channel, and then twitching and tweaking it to fit the specifications best.

Mmmm say you wanted a sigil for encouraging strawberry growth in your garden. Why wouldn’t you? Strawberries are delicious. To do this, you’d want to channel the Deer - god of nature - and then tweak the name, so rather than the full force of nature coming down on your little garden, you have the magic target strawberries specifically. How this is done is a matter of opinion. Maybe you’d have it target red plants, and accept blooming roses into your life as well. Maybe you’d target the shape of the leaves, the abundance of seeds, the creeping vines… whatever. More complicated sigils may target multiple factors, to narrow it down to a strawberry.

So Deer + specification of a strawberry - and hey, you’re good to go!

Well - provided the Deer doesn’t notice.

Gods have servants, see. People who, from birth, gods sponsor and give them use of their magic. So they do share magic… but only with certain people. Servants to the Squid are at risk of a god noticing their magic going somewhere they don’t intend it to go, and unleashing their wrath on the unlucky bugger who caught their eye. In this example, the servant would very likely be fine - the Deer has a lot of servants, and so doesn’t notice when a stray hand may be pulling magic in another direction. But there’s always that risk, and more private or attentive gods would likely notice if their magic is drifting in places it doesn’t like.

You may be wondering why anyone wants to be any other servant if a servant to the Squid can just use any magic. Beyond the two stated reasons why - servants being chosen from birth with no input from them, and the risk they run using their magic - there’s also the factor of weaker magic being channeled through sigils. It’s not as pure, not as perfect, not as direct as a servant using magic. Like.

God —> servant is how it works for a typical servant. Direct flow of magic.

God —> Squid/sigil —> servant is how it’d work for sigils. Less direct, interference in the middle. The magic is still, yknow, magic… just a bit more patchy.

So sure, you get a wider range of magic, but there’s a constant risk to using it, plus the less direct results, plus limitations by what you can write and tweak… mmm

What else. Mmm. The study. You have to know a gods name to be able to use its magic, and it is a very exact science. You have to write it exactly, no room for unique handwriting or whatever - and that’s not even mentioning the fact that a lot of gods names aren’t even known! Or that you’ll want the tweak the sigil to your desired effect! You have to get the exact shapes and depth and size of the sigil perfectly exact, and figure out what can be tweaked in order to make your sigil work how you want. It’s laborious work compared to servants who look as if they just “poof!” And make a thing happen.

(they do not just “poof!” And make a thing happen, all servants have to study various things to various degrees, but servants to the Squid often have a poorer deal).

I do think it’s worth mentioning that you can have multiple gods in one sigil. Moth (warmth) plus Axolotl (biology) could give your body a boost of warmth in a cold environment, or something similar to that.

A lot of servants to the Squid often have tattoos of useful and frequently used sigils. This does require the sigil being made for repeated uses - some are one-use only.

Oh, obviously you also have to write out the sigil you want to use. You can do it Luz-style, where you pre-write a bunch and activate them later, or you can do them on the fly.

Any servant to the Squid can activate any sigil, unless specified otherwise in the sigil. They can also specify that non-magical folk, or non-Squid servants can activate or deactivate a sigil. A common example of this is locking sigils, to keep doors locked - a cheap one may just lock a place, and the more advanced ones specify that X and Y can unlock it, and only those two people.

I think that’s all I’ve got for you today. Peace

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

[brainrotcharacters]

The silly thing about associating Deadpool and Wolverine with Patroclus and Achilles is that if the Greek gays had regeneration and nigh-immortality, they wouldn't have reached peak tragedy

[thatneoncrisis]

harrows a sped kid but gideon is a girl who should by all accounts at LEAST have a 504 plan but all adults dismiss her as merely combative and disruptive, at Best theyll throw in a "not utilizing her potential to the fullest." multiple teachers have vaguely alluded to her having ODD rather than think for a second about why she might be acting like that

[stinkythehutt]

also. something about palpatine being so adept at seeing into the future that all of his successes feel completely joyless by the time he achieves them because he’s just going through the motions… how fucked up and nihilistic and brutal that would make you…

[lbhslefttiddie]

youve heard of sex flowers get ready for the flower that makes you into a celestial shoujo herione complete with particle effects you cannot turn the fuck off and creates a wifebeam so powerful it can incapacitate and maim and keeps making you burst into tears and fall on your ass which makes the wifebeam More Powerful and you also cannot turn this off either. and is also still, sort of, a sex flower

from one of my favorite fanfictions, Celestial Afterglow by elanor_pam, a fic that defies description in the best possible way

[moeblob]

As an attempt at a polite "going forward" comment...

I do not plan to draw for Three Houses or Hopes for a long while. I know a lot of my followers are from the past four years and I appreciate that you followed me at all! But if you are only interested in the art of those characters I wanted to be clear and say you can unfollow me at any point if what i draw no longer aligns with what you want to see.

I might draw for other FEs (like Heroes or 13/14/17) but I do not want to get involved with 3H any more. I do have other interests and across tumblr, twitter (now inactive), and sometimes on discord I've heard enough "I thought it was (FE3H character)".

This is not one person doing it and it is not simply one character being mistaken. I simply want to distance myself from 3H and have unfollowed a few people that reblog art of it because it just leaves a lingering bad taste in my mouth.

My ask box will continue to remain closed on this account for a little while longer which I apologize for. If you are okay with continuing to follow me but have something you would like me to tag as a warning please DM me for it! I do not want you to be uncomfortable if you want to stick around but I do not have the ask box open for a couple reasons currently.

Thank you very much for your time and I hope you can find artists who can provide art for topics you like.

[blujaydoodles]

I have no particular explanation as their player for why they view sexuality more or less the same way but have different labels except 'vibes, idk', but I do imagine it'd be less ambiguous in Gnomish

[missxoier]

My baby is so lonely...no one understands him

[welcometogrouchland]

Babygirl I can concieve of stephcass dynamics you couldn't even imagine (arospec Cass not understanding why "probably bi but has a job so she doesn't have time to think about that" Steph apparently needs a man (she doesn't, it would just be nice) and doesn't want to platonically settle down with cass in their old age)