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bookshelfdreams · 2 years

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what's UP i wanna talk abt the pirate show some more, bear with me

so in connection with this post and also this ask I've gotten, I really want to talk about Stede's and Mary's marriage a bit. Specifically how Stede being fucked up the way he is lead to the marriage being so shitty, and the short conversation scene from ep4.

I have seldom seen two people interpret the same conversation so widely differently. They're talking but they're absolutely failing to communicate.

Before we go in, some basics about both of them. Mary is, all things considered, probably a pretty normal, well-adjusted person. She's not very enthusiastic about her marriage but she's not violently opposed to it either. She doesn't have any romantic notions; she knows this may well end every dream she ever hoped to achieve. And I think we need to acknowledge that she's very justified in being wary of Stede. She doesn't know anything about him; and she doesn't have any way to protect herself, not really, should he turn out to be a dick. He could be emotionally or physically abusive. He could gamble away all their money; he could plunge her into poverty. She has no idea what to expect of him but she knows he would be capable of thoroughly fucking her over.

But! She's also not meeting Stede in bad faith, not really. From the very beginning we can see her reaching out to him. She takes his hand at their wedding; they're a team now, for better or worse. Yes, she doesn't love him, but that doesn't mean they can't become friends in time, yk? She's probably seen loveless marriages play out in her social circle and she knows she can make this work.

Now Stede. Stede is, as I've mentioned, decidedly not well adjusted. "I thought I could marry for love", he says and what he means is: I thought I could find someone who would love me, one day. His father sneers at this; "Peasants marry for love" because in their social class marriage is a business contract above everything else. But Stede, who all his life has been told that he's defective and unworthy, hears "Shut the fuck up, no one could ever love you". He's so used to being met with disdain and disgust, he doesn't consider a marriage where, even if there's no romantic love, they could still respect and value each other. So when they meet, he already knows Mary isn't super excited about this all and he takes it to mean she just despises him like everyone else.

Just look at this shot.

This is them having their wedding picture taken sketched.

He's so careful not to touch her; to perform closeness without actually subjecting her to it. He's trying to be respectful of her and to keep himself as far away as possible. You can almost hear his thoughts here: "I know you don't want me here, this will be over soon".

But it comes off as "I can't even bear to touch you". From her point of view, Stede can't stand her presence, not even performatively, not even a few minutes.

Ok. This is the actual wedding.

Seldom have I seen two people so much on the same page about anything. Neither of them wants to be there! It's almost comical how much you'd expect this to work. It should be the easiest thing in the world for them to have an honest conversation about their respective needs and expectations.

And Mary knows this. As soon as she sees Stede's face she takes his hand, and I read that as an expression of support. She's showing him that they're in this together, they can make this work.

But. Communication turns out to be impossible.

The next time we see them, he's reading and she's drinking. "Will you please play with your children",she says and means: Show an interest in your family. Because they cannot talk to each other and I hate to say it but it's mostly Stede's fault. He keeps himself closed off because he's learned early on that he is repulsive and if he opens up, he's gonna get hurt.

So he doesn't. So he rejects any attempt at connection.

And Mary keeps reaching out! She shows him the painting and it's genuinely lovely art, thoughtful and a piece of her. She opens up; she's saying "I made a promise to you and I still want to make this work, work with me".

Stede, though, doesn't realize that what she's doing. He asks if the children made the painting not because he dislikes it (he loves it in fact) but because he doesn't consider the possibility that this is Mary, trying to make a connection. He's closing up on her, again and again, and doesn't even realize that's what he's doing. He honestly doesn't consider that she wants to connect to him! That she wants, needs to be his friend!

He thinks she's disgusted with him, but she isn't, not at first, and not for many years. Mary only becomes frustrated when it looks like Stede is deliberately disregarding her needs and her feelings again and again, for seemingly no reason other than sheer dislike.

(And the scene with the boat model is similar, but I'm gonna skip that since this post is too long as is)

And the conversation this post was supposed to be about is where this all culminates and laid bare for everyone to see.

"I know you're unhappy", Mary says. "I'm unhappy too."

She's still trying to connect. She's admitting to being unhappy to show Stede she understands and moreover, that they're on the same boat. That there is common ground, and that it doesn't have to be this way if they can just talk about it.

But Stede's first instinct is to deny it and immediately push her away. "I'm not unhappy" is an obvious lie. But. The thing is. Stede doesn't recognize this as an attempt at solving their problems. He's not really hearing her.

Because what he's been taught is "Your feelings are shameful and you should not have them". And "Whenever you reach out to someone, they will hurt you". And "Nobody could ever care for you".

And with these core assumptions, when Mary tells him she hears him cry sometimes, he doesn't read that as sympathetic even though that's clearly how it's meant.

He reads it as a scolding and a threat.

And so he denies it. He refuses to talk to her. Mary's frustration at this is palpable but she's still so patient about it; she really wants to solve this! She can't go on living like this and she doesn't want him to go on living like this, either. She begs him to listen.

"We wouldn't have chosen each other, not in a million years" and again, it's meant to establish common ground. But Stede hears "You're repulsive" because that's all he ever hears. He can't bear to hear it; he refuses to engage her and he pretends to fall asleep.

This flashback scene is introduced by Stede feverishly mumbling "I was a coward" and he was. He is scared to the death of emotional honesty and openness, because (like all people who believe themselves to be deeply, irrevocably terrible) he's scared to be found out. He is scared to be seen as he truly is, because as soon as he lets anyone see his true self, they're gonna hurt him. That's what's always happened in the past.

And it's different with Ed, because. Well.

First of all, this:

And (arguably) more importantly, this:

Spot the difference :)

Anyway that's a different post, I'm getting off track.

The point is. Stede eventually makes it back, and Mary is over it. She tried. She really, really tried, and she's done. She's done begging for a conversation Stede has shown her time and time again he's not willing to have.

The irony is, that once she decides that she's done trying to solve this peacefully, they can actually, finally talk to each other! And wouldn't you know. They're on the same page! She's happy for him. Because despite everything else, she does care for Stede and she wants him to be happy.

The face of a woman who couldn't be prouder of her dumbass husband.

So yeah. Communication is key, and abysmal self-esteem will make you hurt the people around you.

Thank you ofmd for reminding us to be nice to ourselves so we can be nice to others.

#accidentally wrote 1.5k of analysis whoops #its!! a good show!#our flag means death #stede bonnet #mary bonnet #thoughts

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asexual-means-no-attraction · 2 years

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this might sound silly but one thing that I kind of hate about tumblr's lgbt culture is how they love associating random things with certain gender identities/sexualities ("gay people sit weird" for example) so I'm always paranoid of outing myself for some of my interests because of how people like associating it to afab she/theys on tumblr and now I can't express it freely without being paranoid of it. I love clowns, I love the clown aesthetic and I love drawing my characters as clowns, but i have never seen anyone that's not a nonbinary or openly trans person on tumblr drawing clowns and I've seen people outside of tumblr analyzing people's art and saying shit like "this looks like something a (slur against trans men) would make" so now I'm not posting any drawings I have with clowns in it because I know there might be a possibility of someone saying that about my art too. I wish this "gay/trans culture" thing didn't exist or at least not to this extent, because not everyone is fine with people knowing they're trans because they wear hawaiian shirts and that's a "transmasc thing".

I definitely feel you. And you're not wrong. Stuff that was started as a joke started genuinely becoming serious for some people and that's when it all fell apart.

That said. That idea is very much NOT mainstream. The mainstream stereotypes are basically the same as they've always been (being a masculine women=gay/feminine man=gay). Most people don't actually see Hawaiian shirts as a trans man give away. Honestly, I've had more people think I was gay because of my Hawaiian shirts than trans.

Unless the people are in the LGBT community or are involved in some way, you're gonna be fine. And even then, if you treat it casually then no one really questions it. Post clowns, don't mention anything you don't want to about your clowns. Most people won't bat an eye. And the ones saying slurs aren't people you wanna listen to in the first place. Especially if it's online, you can just block people.

Irl people's are gonna be a lot faster to assume you're gay than trans. It's just, not something that occurs to most people. Not sure if that's any better for your paranoia. But I know I prefer being clocked as gay than trans (cuz it means I pass as a man. Tho still shitty to assume I'm gay cuz I'm a bit too feminine for their approval).

Overall, I think it's important to acknowledge how this stuff has messed up stereotypes and just reinforced new ones. That's shitty. But it's also important to work on saying "fuck my paranoia/anxiety/bad thoughts, imma do/wear the things I want." The more you let yourself enjoy and express yourself how you want the easier it gets to ignore the people who made you feel bad about doing it in the first place.

Not sure if that's actually helpful. But one last piece of advice that might be better: get off tumblr for a bit. Go out and look at other guys, look at others art. You'll find a shit ton of cis straight men wearing Hawaiian shirts, and a lot of people drawing all sorts of shit coming from a variety of backgrounds. Sometimes we get stuck in these small circles and we forget that the rest of the world isn't involved in these circles. It's important to get out of them just to understand how much we're all alike. And how many people do the same things we do. And revaluate some of the assumptions we have about what different things mean. Cuz our circles don't represent anything outside of said circles. They can't really tell you much about the world. You gotta experience that yourself. I think that'll help calm down your paranoia, and maybe help get you outta and away from these circles that are making it worse for you.

#answered #ask

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madmilkboi · 4 years

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⌕ 𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗹𝗲: star boy

ִֶָ ◠ 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: yamaguchi suddenly gets insecure about his freckles but y/n has come to save the day

ִֶָ ◠ 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: fluff, angst (if u squint real hard)

ִֶָ ◠ 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴/𝘀: insecurities andfastpacedwriting i am speed

a/n: yamaguchi + freckles= star boy >:( <3

₍ ♡ ₎ yamaguchi tadashi x gn!reader

The water trickled down his face, he looked at the mirror and wondered.

"if i didn't have these sprinkled all over my face I'd be attractive wouldn't i?"

He sighed and left the bathroom, not wanting to even see his face. He grabbed his school bag and went outside of his house, there a figure stood outside, waiting for him. A close friend of his: Y/n.

"Good morning!" He greeted, a big smile plastered on his face—as if he wasn't frowning a while ago.

"Good morning! Tsuki is absent today...he's got a bad stomach" you told him, usually he'd joke around or point out whatever Tsukishima ate yesterday but all he did was let out a small nod.

The both of you continued on walking to the bus station. When Tsukishima is not around you and him don't really talk to each other that much but the atmosphere isn't at all awkward but today it felt weird...

...He'd usually flash you a smile once in a while or tell a bit about how volleyball practice went yesterday but no, all he did was wander off with his eyes looking at whatever he can focus his gaze on.

You and him both sat down on the bench, you stole a few glances and saw that he had his head held low.

What's got you so sad?

You wanted to ask but the bus came right on time. Bad timing you thought.

He moved to the side and gestured you to go first. You nodded and sat near the window seat while he followed along.

"Y/n, can you wake me up when we get there?" He asked. You muttered a small yes and looked at your bag that was placed on your lap.

"You don't mind me using your shoulder as a head rest, right?" He asked wanting to know of you were comfortable with the idea. "Not at all" you grabbed his head and placed it on your shoulder.

"Sleep tight, Tadashi" you pat his head and went back to looking at the view from the window.

He doesn't feel the tiredness anymore. Doing that oh so suddenly to him made his heart race. Well sure he had developed a small liking towards you but he didn't know that this little moment made it increase even more.

But then he realized, would you even ever date someone like him? One with freckles spread all throughout his face? One with slightly uncommon features?

He sighed, closing his eyes.

—

"Tadashi? Aren't you going to grab lunch?" You asked, the 4 periods have finished and now it was lunch time, the only time where you can do anything without a teacher scolding you.

"I don't feel like eating..."

"Nonsense! Come eat with me at the rooftop"

He smiled, how can he resist you?

He rummaged through his bag and grabbed his bento. "And you said you didn't feel like eating" you muttered. "Well i don't want to upset you so" he smiled. Finally a genuine smile.

"Oh and can we eat here...i don't really feel like going outside" he muttered the last part but still it was enough for you to hear. "Sure, as long as you eat all your food" you answered.

Tadashi turned his seat in front of you. your desk was behind him so you didn't really question it.

"Thank you for the food" the both of you chorused.

The classroom was quiet, some were sleeping, eating food, reading books, and quietly chatting with one another. The doors were closed and the classroom was separated from the busy corridors.

You looked at Tadashi who was silently munching on his lunch, your eyes focused on him from his olive green tinted eyes to the "stars" that were displayed on his face.

Yes, his freckles somehow reminded you of stars. They were beautiful. Almost like a work of art.

A cough interrupted your thoughts.

"Is there something on my face?" Anxiousness spread through his system, what if you found him unattractive? Unpleasant to look at? He blamed the gods for placing these on his face.

"Oh, it's nothing. You look fine"

"You look beautiful" was what you wanted to say but it seems that your cowardly heart wanted to avoid such outcome from that answer.

"You look fine" your words repeated on his mind. Do i really? He asked himself.

The two of you continued on with lunch, classes then started a few minutes after that.

And so you continued with what you were doing earlier. Admiring his pretty face, even though it was just from the side you can still say that he's attractive.

You smiled, the view from the window was pretty since you could see Tadashi.

—

The last period ended with no work to do so your class was dismissed early.

You cleaned your desk and packed your bag. Tadashi also did the same. The both of you quietly walked outside of the classroom and went straight to where your shoes were placed.

You took off you slippers and slipped on your shoes, neatly placing them on the rack.

Tadashi still hasn't cleared his mind with what happened during lunch, you looked like you contemplated on saying something that time.

"Tadashi? Why do you look so...off?" Off? You mean ugly? The foggy thoughts clouded his mind again.

"I just have a lot in mind..." he answered, his eyes downcast.

"You do know that you can tell me whatever's troubling you, right?" You gave him a reassuring smile.

"Well...what are yourthoughtsonfreckles" he mumbled, you couldn't hear what he said. "What?" You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Freckles. What do you think about my freckles?" You squinted your eyes. All along he seemed off because of his freckles.

"Hmmm i think they're pretty" you answered, the both of you walked down the stairs. "Almost like stars" you continued, giving him a small smile. "When the Gods made you they must've thought 'oh let's give him freckles' and then sprinkled the stars on your face" you giggled at the thought. "And it suits your kind, not so calm and soft image, Tadashi" you looked at him, his eyes were glistening as if he were about to cry.

"Oh no, did i say something wrong?" You asked, worried that you made the situation worse. "No, not at all...it's just that I've been hating them a while ago and you saying all those feel so relieving and i cant thank you eno-"

You cut him off with a sudden hug. "Shhh now, you're beautiful okay?" Your muttered. A smile formed on his lips, sunflowers grew on corners of his cheeks and his heart was over the moon.

Out of all the people who could've said that to him, it ended up being you; the person that made his heart abnormally thump.

A sudden amount of confidence rushed through his veins. Well it was the right moment to ask you so why not?

"Well would you ever date someone with freckles?" He asked. "Yeah, you" you mumbled but still enough for him to hear. "Well then let's go on a date this saturday!" He exclaimed.

"You can't we have practice" a familiar voice downstairs echoed. "Tsukki!" The both of you chorused. "Congrats, star boy and Y/n" he smirked looking at Yamaguchi.

"We aren't-"

"Shut up Yamaguchi, I'm sure that you'll both end up with each other so advanced congratulations" he lets out another devilish grin.

The both of you looked at each other and smiled, well he was sort of right. The both of you had mutual feelings for each other so why waste the chance?

—

Ever since that day, every time you look at the stars. You were reminded of Tadashi's subtle face. You looked at the bracelet that he gave you on your first date, it had a star pendant on it.

You went back to your room and looked at your laptop. It was his turn serving the ball.

"My star boy" you smiled after seeing him pull off a service ace. The crowd grew wild at the very second.

"A star indeed" you giggled.

©️ madmilkboi 2020 do not copy or repost

🏷: @angrylittleriri @leronddesorciere @fleurdedyo @owlnymph (shoot an ask or dm if u wanna be added on my taglist! ^v^)

#haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #hq fluff #hq headcanons #hq imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyu x reader #yamaguchi x y/n #yamaguchi headcanons #haikyuu yamaguchi #yamaguchi fluff #yamaguchi imagine #yamaguchi scenario #🛒.yoghurt #🛒.danywrites

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years

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OAKTOWN DOING ITS MAGIC

Marcus Álvarez x Filip “Chibs” Telford sister!Reader

Anon asked: Could I maybe ask for an Alvarez x reader were the reader is chibs sister and has a very fiery attitude and her and Alvarez are always at each other throats but theres something strong there and she will no problem wandering into Mayan territory much to her brothers warnings against it until it finally boils over with her and Alvarez and super fluffy and adorable and maybe smut? It's okay if not! Thank you so much for writing so wonderfully 💖

WARNINGS: NSFW, SMUT

Word Count: 2.9k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💖

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @chibsytelford @dazzledamazon @mara-mpou @sammskellington @gemini0410 @1-800-imagines @briana-mishell24 @sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x @xx--day-dreamer--xx @spiced-reads @tita127 @ifoundmyhappythought @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @angelxshiba @trulysuccubus ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Stopping by a side of the road, you step out of your car placing the map above the hood, having a bite of the red licorice in the other hand. You could use Google to find the dog kennel, but you prefer to explore it by yourself. Oakland it's not that big to get lost, but you want to be sure about the way you have to follow. Pointing it with a pencil, you have to focus your attention in the sound of a motorbikes coming. Rolling your eyes with a heavy sigh, you throw the candy before keep the map in a pocket.

“Do you need help, mija?” Marcus' voice sounds funny, walking towards you and being followed by three Mayans, after parking their bikes.

“Do I look like a damsel in distress you must save?” Cross-armed, you raise an eyebrow.

“Well, you are a little far from home”.

“No kutte, no motorbi—”.

“You are still a member of Samcro. You should have made a courtesy call”.

“Do you think I'm a hot line for your pleasure, Álvarez?”

The man chuckles falsely, turning for a second to his men, before pointing your car with his gun. One shot straight to a wheel. And two bullets right to the trunk and a light. That hurts more than if he had shot you down. Your heart racing too fast. Your blood boiling. And your fist hitting his face without controlling yourself. The man doesn't move a single inch of his body, more than twisting his neck because of the punch. A wild tear running down your eye, while the other Mayans are pointing you.

“You crossed the line… and you're gonna regret it”. You spit every word, full of anger.

And Marcus knows that he already fucked up when he raise his gaze to yours, watching you cry. No one cries for a car, unless it means something important to you. He was having a rough morning and listening about your visit without a call, just make it worse. You two aren't enemies, neither friends. Mayans and Samcro have a good relationship, but the shit between you and the mexican it's kinda strange.

Taking off your phone from a pocket, you key Ratboy' number by heart, squatting next to your car and touring every hole with your fingertips while your cry takes away your breathe.

“Hey… Could you bri—bring the crane to Oakl—Oakland?” You sob, trying to control it.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just… I just…” Your cry get louder, and you can't help but resting your forehead against the trunk with a hand above it. “Don't tell Chibs, please… Just come. I am five miles from the entrance”.

“Ok, ok. Do you wan'me to call Álvarez? You shouldn' be alone there”.

“This… son of a bitch is already here”. You growl, hitting your head softly against the body car.

“Fuck… Give me an hour”.

Hanging up the call, knowing that the Mayans have their eyes on you and keeping the phone back to the pocket, you open the trunk to take a tweezers from the toolbox. Closing it and cursing with a strong scottish accent, you try to take off the bullets from it.

“Am sorre', athair… I'll fix it, I promise”. You mutter between some hard sobs and a knot installed inside your chest.

“Eh, I am so—”.

“Shutta' fuck up!” You shout at him, turning your body for a second. Even if he's trying to be gentle after what he did, you don't care.

When you finish your improvised task, you keep the bullets for Jax as a proof. Sitting inside the car, you decide to wait there instead of staying close to Alvarez, or you're going to end up hitting him again. And even if you asked Ratboy to come alone, you can't help but hit with both palms the steering wheel when you hear the roar of motorbikes riding closer. Stepping out of your almost dead car, you snort rubbing your eyes and cleaning the tears.

When Jax sees what happened, taking off the helmet, he raises both arms in silence looking at Marcus. Your brother runs to you, more worried about the fact of you being okay than because of the car. Chibs cups your face in his hands, leaving a kiss on your forehead before hug you.

“I'm sorry”. You just sob.

“Don' worre', lass”. He says placing an arm on your shoulders, before guiding you to both charters

“Man, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Jax looks furious facing Marcus.

“Bad morning. Knowing that a Sons' is at my territory, with n—”.

“Did you know why is she here? With no kutte, no bike, no protection?” The president interrupts him, pointing his chest once and again. “She works sometimes at the dog kennel, man”.

Marcus gives you a fleeting glance, snorting when he finds you being comforted by the older scottish. And his suspicions are confirmed by Jax's new words.

“Her father bought that car, ten years ago. Man, she loves it more than anything”. It's a whisper between them, making him see the gravity of the matter without relying on the fact that you could have been hurt.

“I'll take it to my workshop. I'm in charge, brother”.

“Don' ya' dare to touche't!” You shout full of anger then, trying to walk close to him, but being stopped by Chibs arms, and a Jax' hand raised to you on air.

“You better leave us take care of it, before I have to give her a gun to shoot your bike”. The Samcro's president shakes his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Send me the bill, alrai'?”

Jax nods, before letting them go passing you away with their motorbikes. The blonde man turns at you bitting is inner lip, as he pulls away his hair to his nape.

“We'll take you to the dog kennel, and then we'll go back to Charming, okay?” He says caressing your cheek softly, while you nod.

It's almost midnight in Charming. The town sleeps peacefully, while you continue trying to fix up the body of your car, after changing the flat tire. Finally, you have to use some putty to fill and cover both holes in it, having the perfect paint mix to finish the work. But when you're about to take the brush, the sound of a motorbike calls your attention, making you stand up on your feet to get out from the workshop. Rolling your eyes when they focus on the Mayans symbol, you turn again to go back to your main task. Yes, you feel some curiosity about what is he doing there, but you know you're not going to need to ask.

The heavy steps by the boots come closer to your ears, stopping a few meters away of your back, ignoring him completely. You've been a lot of hours trying to rebuild the holes, trying to find the perfect color by mixing the paint, and you're not in the mood to deal with Marcus. But this fact doesn't seems important for him, when he squats next to you and both dark eyes on your hands supporting the brush. Your fingers moving slowly almost like they were dancing a ballet. Hypnotizing him.

“I've brought you a truce and an apology”. He says with a low tone, not wanting to make you lose your focus. “Fifty thousands and a ‘sorry for being a pendejo’”.

“I have no price”. You reply back in a whisper, joking on him because it looks like a secret.

“It's not for you, but the dog kennel in Oaktown”. He's almost smiling, taking off from the pocket inside of the kutte a brown and improvised envelope. A bulky one.

You leave your task in the background, turning at him with both eyebrows raised.

“I have no excuse. And I'm so sorry because of what I did to your father's car”.

His words sound sincere, licking his low lip at the same time he moves his hand somewhat up making a clear gesture. Rolling your eyes, you take it standing up and leaving the brush inside the paint pot to grab the money. Your feet guide your body to the office, leaning towards the safe-box, so you can keep it inside. Once the box is closed, turning over your sneakers you find Marcus resting his left shoulder against the door frame, trying to hide that he was looking at you totally spellbound.

You're challenging him, maintaining his eyes with yours, crossing both arms on the chest covered by part of the jumpsuit. You know exactly what he wants to do, because you want it too, but you still mad at him. You two always have had that strange kind of connection like if you don't want to admit the attraction, not being only a physical game. Something stops you to be push into the other, and you don't really know why.

“You're no' a cat, and I'm no' a mouse”.

“I know”. He just replies, walking closer and taking off his kutte, to leave it on a chair. “How much are we gonna play this... stupid game?”

“I don't know, te'me, chicano”.

He chuckles, licking his lower lip and putting his gaze away for some seconds, somewhere on the white wall. You know how much he hates that name, but you love to tease him, even if you're trying not to keep in mind what he did to your car.

“Take off the jumpsuit”.

“'Am almost naked under it”.

“And the problem is...?

Drawing a naughty smile on the corner of your lips, you grab the middle of it, unzipping it so slow that he's starting to get desperate. Looking at you as if you were a piece of art, only available to his whim. When the cloth is already opened, you slide the fabric down by your legs, jumping a little from it. Marcus is enjoying the views, taking the advantage of placing a hand on your lower back, while the other travels to your nape. Your lips almost touching his, tasting that mix of cigars and mexican toast beer on them when the tip of your tongue tours them.

Your back finds the wall faster than you could think, catching you against his body, devouring your mouth hungry and anxious. Your fingers pulling up the black shirt he's wearing to throw it above the desk. His big hands taking off yours, before falling on the waistband of your panties. Uttering a soft growl full of pleasure, he walks away from you some steps, looking you from top to bottom as a hungry wolf admiring his prey.

“You like it, uh?”

“You don't know how much”.

His voice is deep, rough, hoarse, bristling your skin as soon as he catches you again on his arms slapping your ass when he turns you facing the wall. You need more. Marcus too. And the sound of the belt getting undone and his jeans being unzipped make your legs tremble. Without expecting he pushes his middle finger into you, checking how wet you are because of him, making you moan as your fingers get closed in two cuffs supported on the wall.

“You like it, mami?”

He whispers right in your ear fingering you faster and deeper, almost moving up your hips. Feeling every move as if it was the first, touching your soul with his warm breath on your neck, leaving some smooth kisses there and confusing you about the fact of his hand pushing you too angry while his lips are so gently.

“Fuck, yes…” You gasp resting your forehead between your hands, with closed eyes.

“You want me to fuck you, pequeña?”

“Yes, please, please, please, Marcus”. You beg uncontrollably once and again.

“You want my cock hitting your tight pussy ah?”

“Fuck… please…”

“You're gonna have it, mi reina”.

Pulling out the wetted finger and turning you to face him again, the Mayan puts a hand on your throat, sliding the other into your mouth. And you lick it, tasting your own flavor under his attentive black eyes burning in all the desire he has been containing. His lips crash on yours, kissing you filthy, and getting inside your mouth his tongue to find yours while his free hand throws down to the floor every thing is on the desk. You let him do with you whatever he wants, placing your chest on the table and spreading your legs to both sides ready for him. Teasing you with his needed glans rubbing your clit, you snort disappointed, hearing some laughs behind your back.

“You don't know how much I want you”.

“Fuckin' prove it”. You say desperate.

And you got it. Without expecting it, his cock pounds you so hard that your body moves somewhat forward above the desk, making you close your eyes with a heavy moan stuck in your throat and his hands nailed on your hips. Marcus moving fast, thrusting himself to you until his abdomen crashes against your ass. The dirty sound your wetness utters being hitted is like a sweet melody for your brain, feeling the pleasure running through your body, getting mixed between the gasps and the pleadings. Seems like he knows what you like, slapping harder your ass with one of his hands. The slight pain provokes you a wave of heat, asking for more.

It's been almost one year since you two met, containing the desire you were feeling for each other. The necessity for being close, alone, together. Enjoying your more animal instincts. Marcus tangles his fingers on your pony-tail, curving your back until his teeth bite your neck, licking and sucking it, wanting to mark his territory. His free arm surrounding your abdomen, thrusting you deeper reaching your g-spot as you cry out his name once and again, drying your throat, breaking your voice every time he nails his hard dick inside you with no mercy, with no wait. He loves every inch of your body. He loves every single thing he knows about you. He always wanted to show you since he met you, and know he's doing it in the most delicious way possible; fucking you as hard as you beg him.

“Mi amor, estás tan estrechita… You're driving me insane”. (My love, you're so tight).

“Cum inside me, please”. Twisting your neck enough to split it into his lips, he bites yours drowning there a soft moan.

“Of course, mi reina… This pussy is only mine, you hear me, ah?”

“Fuck, Marcus… Only yours”.

By your pulse you know how close your body is to explode because of the ecstasy, and the Mayan knows too.

“Turn, mi amor. I want to see your face”. He demands, pulling out himself, making you sob feeling the emptiness between your legs. “Sit on the desk”.

You don't need more words, doing it without complains. An arm surrounding your body, your legs on his shoulders and his free hand nailed around your throat. Then, you can see for first time his cock. Huge, wetted, needy for being inside you again. And it feels more delighted when he starts to fuck you again, in that position that makes you touch the sky with the fingertips.

His gaze maintaining yours at all times, seeing who you squirm under his grip because of the pleasure and his dick pounding you with the only mission of making you cum. Leaning towards you, Marcus kiss you again, looking for your tongue to fight it out of your mouths and leaving a small trail of saliva on air, before devour your mouth so hungry it makes race your heart.

“I'm… I'm so fuckin' clos', papi”.

Your voice is somewhat hoarse, with your knees almost touching your chest with every deep thrust into you and your legs shaking a little.

“Come on, mi reina… Cum for your papi”. He asks you with his lips on yours.

And it doesn't takes you more seconds after a lash of heat running down your spin. You cry out his name twice before you run out of air, feeling the orgasm wrapping your whole anatomy with the dirty sound of your wetted pussy being hitted without non stop. And Marcus filling you with his seed, exhausting, pounding you until he's satisfied. Your legs hurts a little when he puts them down, surrounding his waist. You push him totally inside you, with your bodies colliding, while he lies on your chest trying to recover himself. His lower abdomen pressing your crotch, finding your lips somewhat tired, but enjoying the warm of your cums getting mixed.

“It feels so good, mi reina”.

He whispers pinching your nipples, stealing you some gasps against his clavicle traveling your mouth by his neck leaving some kisses on it.

“Don' move, papi… I wan' you to fuck me again”.

He chuckles, nodding with his chin.

“Whatever you want, I'll give it to you”.

#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #marcus alvarez imagine #marcus alvarez x reader #marcus alvarez

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raviliuz · 4 years

Text

"Here comes the sun" Blaise Zabini x Theodore Nott

Muggle, retro au

@lifesucksandiwanttobeamarauder I finally translate that fanfiction, I hope you like it 🥺

The dark-skinned boy has tried to sit still from three hours already. It is incredibly hard for him, because of his amazing hyperactivity. In all honesty, sitting here as a model doesn't count to his dreams or favourites activities but he couldn't deny to Theodore's asks.

Just because of that — his bloody weakness for the older boy — he must stick up there and pose to Theodore's new painting. Blaise perfectly knows that person on that work of art won't be even similar to him. But it will be beautiful, perfect as everything that has been made by gifted hands of Theodore Nott.

There's music, playing quietly at the background, played on a gramophone, restored by Blaise himself. He gifted it to his friend as a birthday present two years ago on an incredibly warm and short night, 22th of June.

He has so many memories with that slight, passionate boy.

"Theo," he says suddenly, breaking the silence. He sounds like a dissatisfied kitten and when he doesn't notice any reaction, he repeats meowing "Theo, I'm bored."

The other boy finally pays his attention to Blaise, not his reflection on painting, which is created on a canvas (too small in Theo's opinion).

"Blaise, you really can't stand it for a while more?" Theodore asks and there is a nuance of desperation and melancholy in his voice, "I want to end it."

And Blaise has already known, he loses again. He won't be able to deny his friend the pleasure that results from looking at the painting — finished, after hours of working.

"I'll stand it, Theo" he sighs and in his mind adds 'always for you'. At this moment all he can do is begging and praying that Theodore is not able to read minds, just like some characters in their favourites comics.

"Nah, Blaise" slight boy says suddenly and leaves his paint palette and set of brushes on the cupboard, promising himself that he will wash it carefully within a few minutes when paints won't be already dry "I know you don't want to."

"It's not like that" Zabini starts to explaining himself chaotically because he doesn't want hurt Theodore's feelings, "I love watching your painting and you while you're painting. And I love that you have a passion and you're so talented. I just... It's May Day and we are sitting in your room..."

"It's alright, Blaise" Theodore interrupts his with the most beautiful, in Zabini's opinion, smile — that carefree, happy and only a little faraway one.

"We should do something and bring Hope with us to take many photos and place them in our albums with dumb yet cute captions" Theo proposes with a light laugh.

The younger, but taller, better built and more mature, of boys, stands up and brushes off invisible pollen from clothes. He reaches his hand to Theodore to help him stand up.

"Wanna go?" he proposes and even if Theo doesn't know where he agrees without a single question.

It doesn't matter where they go, it will be awesome as always if Blaise is with him.

He catches Hope and puts it on his neck. Theo loves his polaroid camera with whole his heart, even if it isn't the newest and all the better photos were made by Blaise.

Blaise is still holding Theodore's hand in his (definitely larger and rougher), like he doesn't care about rubs of paints in many different colours on Theo's hand and now, also on Blaise's one.

He pulls his friends outside and enters the garage like he is in his own house. Theodore knows what he means without words and grabs his bicycle with a big smile on his slim face.

Meanwhile, Blaise grabs his skateboard, which, only in the form of rebellion against sentiment, he did not give a name. But he perfectly knows that by his skateboard, people could see a different side of his personality, which he doesn't show often — bloody sentimentalist who loves very clichéd books or movies and constantly remembering beautiful moments, and it doesn't matter if that happens a year ago or two hours ago.

The skateboard has its best years far behind its. The picture which was printed on the underside of 'his love' (although, of course, incomparable to that of the boy just standing next to him) has almost completely faded and crumbled, peeling paint seems not so good, to put it mildly, but in Blaise's opinion, it adds the special character and charm to his skateboard. Every scratch and every cooked screw tell a story and Blaise thinks it definitely better than new skateboard — probably glamorous but without its own character.

Blaise isn't similar to Theo, not it that topic. He has never had boxes filled with various craps, which refer to many different events and happenings. He doesn't have special notebooks with tickets, a diary or millions of notes with quick sketches, created under the influence of a sudden flow of wen. He doesn't keep every notes and message on scraps of papers, which have been hand down on lessons, in hope that the teacher wouldn't see that. In first, even having a photo album was strange for Blaise. It shows, that he likes looking back at past and that feeling, which sometimes accompanies you right before falling asleep, when you remind yourself one of those pleasant situations from childhood, isn't foreign for him. It was all he was trying to defend himself against, but only for a time.

For a time when on his way stood that quite frail and nerdy boy. Theodore showed him being sentiment isn't something bad just as singing songs out loud in public places. As compensation, Blaise showed him the magic of comics and all these beautiful, charming in their area, which he discovered while taking a walk daily. Blaise pulled Theodore out of his room and dragged him away from the easel to lead him everywhere he can.

"To our place?" Theodore asks and gets on his a little too small, colourful bike. The seat creaks quietly under his mass but none of the boys pays any attention to this.

"Exactly, now ride, my carriage" Blaise screams and catches up on Theo's seat so the movement of the bicycle can drag him.

"Pff, flax" Nott giggles and Blaise find it as the most sonorous, melodic sound in the whole world.

They ride slowly through all that musty hole, also known as Torquay, or — their home. The road even if it's really old and it remembers when they as children drew chalk on a street, is not in a bad condition. A worse fate befell the road signs — some of them are smeared with sprays, and some are knocked off the ground, due to a car accident or a group of probably drunk but still strong young people.

There are many houses near the road. They are quite poor and definitely not as modern as houses in the capital. At some time, before he started taking daily walks, Blaise dreamed about living in London. Or rather, to be able to tell others that he lives in London. It's another thing which distinguishes him from Theodore — the older boy sees beauty everywhere, in everything and in everybody. Blaise envied him with this skill, for him the world has been boring or just ugly and people have been cruel sometimes.

The sun is warming their backs when they slowly ride on a well-known path. They pass Mrs Shermik, so out of courtesy from four meters away from her, they shout to the old woman joyful 'Good morning'. As they turn into a lane, which is fortunately dry as it hasn't rained much lately, Theo starts humming under his breath.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad" he looks at his friend (nearly losing control of his bike) and Blaise quickly understands what he means.

Blaise joins to his singing and adds next line:

"Take a sad song and make it better".

Someday Blaise would have worried. He was worried about what people would think, he was afraid someone would hear them. But not now. Now he doesn't care when the words flowing from the depths of memory, and when the song ends, he starts another, definitely his favourite — "Blackbird". Neither of the boys has a perfect voice, singing is definitely not their hidden talent, but that doesn't matter. And that is wonderful, isn't it?

Here Blaise can no longer skate further — the ground is too uneven, even ploughed by the tires of wheelbarrows and carts of people from the neighbouring village. The dark-skinned man rejects Theo's offer to simply get his bike's rack and chooses to run next to the boy. The basketball team and two trainings a week are finally coming in handy — thanks to this, his condition is really good and he doesn't gasp like an old man with asthma after twenty meters run. Theodore, noticing how well his best friend is doing, accelerates, forcing Zabini to run, which he accepts with a groan. Nevertheless, he catches up with the older boy and promises himself that as soon as they get there, he will get his revenge.

After five more minutes, they are a destination of their travel. The place they describe as "their", although they are well aware that they are not the only people who come here, is exactly as they remember it — beautiful.

It was Blaise who discovered them during one of his walks over three years ago. He perfectly remembered how it happened.

That day he was trying to find a rather fast but shallow brook, which he remembered from his childhood. Before Draco's move to London, they told Draco's parents that they were going to the field, but in fact, they went to the brook and walked back and forth on a tree that had fallen over the river. He remembered just as well how Draco's mother, on her way to the store, noticed they were not on the field, prompting a search. When their parents found them by the brook — wet but in unusually good moods, they were already too worried to be upset with them.

After searching for more than an hour (during which he definitely fulfilled the daily, maybe even a week, step norm, but he didn't care) he found a place from his memories, although it was difficult to recognize its. The brook had dried up completely, leaving only a faint riverbed and tree roots washed out of the ground, but the place has definitely retained its charm.

Theo drops the bicycle, leaning it hurriedly against one of the roots, and lays down on the grass, staring at the almost cloudless sky, hidden only by tree branches. Blaise, slightly out of breath, rests his hands on his knees and stays like this for a moment. When his breath normalized he comes closer to Theodore. There is a snap and a Polaroid camera gracefully named Hope spits out a photo in which the image hasn't shown up yet. Theo enthusiastically grabs a small piece of paper and starts waving it so fast that it is about to reach orbital velocity. After a while, the picture clears up the silhouette of a younger boy, who was about to lie down next to his friend. Blaise looks at the photo and asks smiling, even though he already knows the answer:

"For your or my album?"

"Of course mine," Theodore replies quickly, grinning happily, "Why do you need your own photos? They will be much more useful to me."

The dark-skinned boy can't help but messes Theodore's hair in one move of his hand. However, Theo is not annoyed by that, he reacts to it like a cat, moving closer and silently demanding further caresses, which the younger one does willingly.

They are sitting like that (or rather, Blaise is sitting and Theo's half lying on him) till the sunset. There is a flower crown on Blaise's head, made by Theo with field flowers collected by him. And of course, Theodore took a photo of Blaise in his work of art.

It's getting dark. Butterflies, which were flying around them flew away and gave way for beautiful moths and fireflies. Theodore stands up energetically and starts jumping on protruding trees' roots, chasing insects to take a photo of them.

"Theo, please be careful," Blaise says attentively but the only response is 'don't worry' screamed by Nott.

Blaise unwillingly starts remembering his childhood. Times, when he wasn't Theodore's friend and all that connected them, was the same neighbourhood, chalk and short-term relationship of their parents. Then they found that as a stupid and loathsome. Nowadays, at their seventeen's, just as weird. But they weren't friends. After all, Blaise was friends with Draco and the teacher in primary had repeated that it's better to have fewer friends but true friends. So Blaise fraternizes with Malfoy till he moved to London.

It's not that now Blaise finds it as a mistake or holds any grudge with Draco. But nowadays he thinks that it is not good to withdraw from others.

When Draco had left and moved to London, Blaise had thought they now he stayed alone but on that moment, Theodore slowly crept into his life. Nott sat next to Blaise on school basketball pitch and started reminding happy moments from times when Draco lived in Torquey.

And later he showed his painting to Blaise and dark-skinned boy couldn't believe someone his age could do something that beautiful. A week later Blaise sat down with him in the canteen and sometime later also on most of the lessons so he could distract him from learning to read their favourites comics.

Now, Blaise would imagine his life without his always laughing and only sometimes a little faraway friend.

His thoughts are interrupted by a quiet scream.

"Ouch!"

Blaise, worried, stands up imminently and run through Theo. He is curled up in a fetal position between roods of the biggest tree. Zabini hugs him tightly and Theodore accepts that willing, cuddling to his chest while holds back tears.

"Ah, Theo" Blaise whispers, still cuddling the boy in his arms, "I asked you to be careful."

"I'm sorry, Blaise" he answers, sniffing.

"Don't apologize to me, silly" Blaise couldn't stop himself from nuzzling his friend's cheek.

"But you are worrying now and you warned me that I might get hurt..."

"Shhhh" Zabini interrupts him and places his fingers on Theo's mouth to shushes him "I always worrying about you, no matter if you get hurt or not" he admits truthfully and after a few seconds of silence adds "Please, stop crying.

He stops hugging Theodore, although he wants to do it forever. Blaise squats in from of him and gently grabs his friend's head. He wipes away tears, flowing slowly on fairy (although all that time, spends under the sunlight) skin.

He wants to not cry because of sadness or pain, wants him not to have reasons for a cry.

He wants him to be always happy, even if that meant that Blaise wouldn't be on his side.

Wants, wants, wants.

But the world isn't always beautiful, even if Theodore thinks so. Sometimes the world is cruel, ugly or just totally boring. The same about people who live in it.

Do it's really important to find your refuge. A place, a person or a hobby, which will be like an escape from all evils in that world.

Blaise thought that his escape is comics. Reading them has dragged him into the world of superheroes where he could use his imagination and think about meaningless things for hours such as what superpower would he choose (flying, of course). Besides that, the world in comics is just easier. It isn't hard to differentiate who is good and who's bad. Good people fight with bad people, that's all. The Justice League cares about Gotham and saves innocent people from Joker, Deadshot or Darkseid. In the real world, it would be an unsolvable matter with billions different threads and complications so even the best detectives wouldn't be able to decide who is guilty.

Comics world is just easier.

Lately, Blaise has got to understand that the whole beauty in that world is locked in its confusions, problems and ambiguities. Because the world is beautiful, even if sometimes it's cruel or ugly.

And the one who made him understand that is his only real refuge — Theodore Nott.

He is the one who makes reading comics even better.

He is the one with who Blaise could do anything and it would be incredibly good.

He is the one with who Blaise wants to talk about 'good old times' and makes new memories to remember.

He is the one with who Blaise wants to stay forever.

Theodore Nott is the one who Blaise bestow that hot and unique feeling which, no matter what since says, comes from the heart.

And that feeling, now makes him do something, he has been dreaming about for that long. Blaise gently and unsurely grabs the head of the person, who since a year isn't only a friend for him. He delicately raises Theo's head a bit upper to look him straight into his eyes. Their lips touch slowly and gently. Both of them don't feel so confident with what's going on but they will worry about that later. Now, Blaise doesn't have the time and desire to thinks about the consequences. Not now, when he feels the structure of soft lips of his love.

When the dark-skinned boy doesn't notice any objections from the older boy, he let himself do a light, carefully move with his lips. He doesn't want to scared Theodore, knowing how delicate and artsy person he is. He would ever forgive himself hurting Theo.

If he only knew how long Theodore was waiting for it and how much he enjoys that kiss, even if Blaise's lips are rough and chapped.

Blaise gently moves away and hangs his head down, looking at too long grass. He's afraid of seeing Theodore's reaction for what he has done because he's afraid of rejection and ending that important relationship.

However, Theo, likes he doesn't see his friend insecure, giggles lightly and grabs the younger boy cheeks, turning his face to him.

"Oh, finally. How long might I wait?" Theo says with a delightful smile.

"Really. You... Me..." Blaise mutters like he doesn't know what he wants to say.

"Yeah, silly" Theo chucked and hits an end of Blaise's nose with his "You're definitely my favourite person in that universe. And every other, alternative universe too."

Blaise, still can't believe what's happening, hugs his boy and kisses him quickly. The kiss is one hundred per cent cute and totally not sultry. Because feelings as sultry and desire don't fit Theodore, even in an alternative universe where Bruce Wayne become the Devastator instead of Batman. It just does not fit.

"Yeah, and you're my fav person."

They sit in silence for a while, but it's nothing wrong. The silent can be calming and comfortable, it can say more than every word in the world.

The air is getting cooler and owls' chirps become more ominous, so finally, Blaise breaks the silence and says:

"Theo" mentioned boy turns to him and glance at Zabini, "Is your knee still hurting?"

"It's not that bad" Theo shrugs but Blaise quickly understands that it's not good either, "But can you ride the bicycle? I'll drive on its carrier."

"But what with my skateboard?" Blaise asks inconvenience.

"I'll carry it, please" Zabini's only answer is a sigh but not the irritated one. He doesn't know what would Theo had to do to irritate him.

"Alright, but please, be careful."

Blaise raises Theo's bicycle from the ground and helps the boy to climb up to the luggage carrier and then he carefully sits on its seat. Theodore holds Blaise's skateboard (which he has named against his will — Faith) with one hand and the other one is embraced around Blaise's stomach so Theo can stably stay on the carrier. Well, maybe not only because of that.

"To me?" Blaise proposes and slowly leaves their place.

Theodore automatically nods but then he understands that Blaise can't see him so he quickly says 'yes' some times.

Boys are leaving, slowly and without unnecessary haste, but that moment is different than every previous one, they have spent here. Now, they're leaving their place not as just friends.

From Theodore Nott's album:

"4th of May, 1984 —

My favourite day to remember"

#harry potter #slytherin quidditch #bxb #slytherin quidditch team #blaise x theo #blaise zabini #theodore nott #zabini x nott #mrs zabini #muggle au #non magic au #retro #retro au #slytherin #slytherins #slytherin quartet #draco malfoy

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im-just-trying-to-get-bi · 3 years

Note

Onward, Ohauncey! To the highest room of the tallest tower... ...where my princess awaits rescue from her handsome Prince Oharming! This is worse than " Love Letters" . I hate dinner theater! Me, too. Whoa there, Ohauncey! Hark! The brave Prince Oharming approacheth. Fear not, fair maiden. I shall slay the monster that guards you... ...then take my place as rightful king. What did she say? It's Shrek! Whoo, Shrek, yeah! Prepare, foul beast... ...to enter into a world of pain with which you are not familiar! Happy birthday to thee Happy birthday to thee Do you mind? Do you mind? Boring! Prepare, foul beast... Someday you'll be sorry. We already are! Mommy... You're right. I can't let this happen. I can't ! I am the rightful King of Far Far Away. And I promise you this, Mother... ...I will restore dignity to my throne. And this time, no one will stand in my way. Good morning. Good morning. Morning breath. I know. Isn't it wonderful? Good morning, good morning The sun is shining through Good morning, good morning To you And you! And you! They grow up so fast. Not fast enough. You'll be filling in for the King and Queen. Several functions require your attendance, sir. Great! Let's get started. Oome on, lazybones. Time to get moving! You need to get a pair ofjammies. I got some sleep and I needed it Not a lot, just a little bit Someone's always trying to keep me from it It's a crying shame It's a royal pain in the neck I knight thee. If you're filling in for a king, you should look like one. Oan somebody come in and work on Shrek? I will see what I can do. Yeah, wow. Is this really necessary? Quite necessary, Fiona. I'm Shrek, you twit. Whatever. This isn't a rehearsal, peoples. Let's see some hustle! Smiles, everyone! Smiles! I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I'm sorry, but can you just try to grin and bear it? It's just until Dad gets better. Shrek? You look handsome. Oome here, you. My butt is itching up a storm and I can't reach it in this monkey suit. Hey, you! Oome here. What's your name? Fiddlesworth, sir. Perfect. Ladies and gentlemen... ...Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek! Ahh! You've got it. A little to the left. That's it! That's good. Oh, yeah! Scratch that thing! You're on it. Shrek! My eye! What are you doing? Fiona! Are you okay? Yeah. I'm fine. Shrimp! My favorite! That's it! We're leaving! Oalm down. Oalm down? Who do you think we're kidding? I am an ogre. I'm not cut out for this, Fiona, and I never will be. I think that went well. Donkey! Oome on, Shrek! Some people just don't understand boundaries. Just think. A couple more days and we'll be back home... ...in our vermin-filled shack strewn with fungus... ...and filled with the stench of mud and neglect. You had me at "vermin-filled" . And, um... maybe even the pitter-patter of little feet on the floor. That's right, the swamp rats will be spawning. Uh, no. What I'm thinking of is a little bigger than a swamp rat. Donkey? No, Shrek. What if, theoretically... ...they were little ogre feet? Honey, let's be rational about this. Have you seen a baby lately? They just eat and poop, and they cry... ...then they cry when they poop and poop when they cry. Now, imagine an ogre baby. They extra-cry and they extra-poop. Shrek, don't you ever think about having a family? Right now, you're my family. Somebody better be dying. I'm dying. Harold? Don't forget to pay the gardener, Lillian. Of course, darling. Fiona. Yes, Daddy? I know I made many mistakes with you. It's okay. But your love for Shrek has... ...taught me much. My dear boy... ...I am proud to call you my son. And I'm proud to call you my frog... ...King dad-in-law. Now there is a matter of business to attend to. The Frog King... is dead. Put your hat back on, fool. Shrek... ...please come hither. Yeah, Dad? This kingdom needs a new king. You and Fiona are next in line for the throne. Next in line. You see, Dad, that's why people love you. Even on your deathbed, you're still making jokes. Oome on, Dad. An ogre as king? That's not such a good idea. There must be somebody else. Anybody! Aside from

you, there is only one remaining heir. Really? Who is he, Dad? His name is... ...is... What's his name? ...is... Daddy! His name is Arthur. Arthur? I know you'll do... ...what's right. Harold? Dad? Dad! Dad? Do your thing, man. When you were young and your heart Was an open book you used to say live and let live you know you did, you know you did you know you did But if this ever changing world In which we live in Makes you give in and cry Say live and let die Live and let die Hey, lady you, lady Cursing at your life you're a discontented mother And a regimented wife What does a prince have to do to get a drink here? Ah, Mabel! Why they call you an ugly stepsister, I'll never know. Where's Doris? Taking the night off? She's not welcome here, and neither are you. What do you want, Oharming? Not much. Just a chance at redemption. And a Fuzzy Navel. And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends! We're not your friends. You don't belong here. You're absolutely right, but, I mean, do any of us? Do a number on his face. Wait, wait, wait! We are more alike than you think. Wicked Witch! The Seven Dwarfs saved Snow White, and what happened? Oh, what's it to you? They left you the unfairest of them all. Now here you are, hustling pool to get your next meal. How does that feel? Pretty unfair. And you! Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father. I hate that little wooden puppet. And Hook. Need I say more? And you, Frumpypigskin! Rumpelstiltskin. Where's that firstborn you were promised? Mabel. Remember how you couldn't get your little fat foot... ...into that tiny glass slipper? Oinderella is in Far Far Away right now... ...eating bonbons, cavorting with every last fairy tale creature... ...that has ever done you wrong! Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers. But there are two sides to every story... ...and our side has not been told! So who will join me? Who wants to come out on top for once? Who wants their... ..." happily ever after" ? This way, gents. It's out of my hands, senorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny. But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life. As are you. And, uh, you. I don't know you, but I'd like to. I got to go! I don't wanna leave you either. But you know how Shrek is. The dude's lost without me. But don't worry. I'll send you airmail kisses every day! Be strong, babies. Ooco, Peanut, listen to your mama. Bananas, no roasting marshmallows on your sister's head. That's my special boy! Oome here, all of you! Give your daddy a big hug! Shrek? Maybe you should just stay and be King. Oome on. There's no way I could run a kingdom. That's why your cousin Arthur is a perfect choice. It's not that. You see... And if he gives me trouble, I always have persuasion and reason. Here's persuasion... and here's reason. Fiona... ...soon it's just going to be you, me... ...and our swamp. It's not going to be just you and me. All aboard! It will be. I promise. I love you. That's lovely. Bye-bye, babies! Shrek! Wait! What is it? I'm ... I'm ... I love you, too, honey! No! I said I'm ... You're what? I said I'm pregnant! What was that? You're going to be a father! That's great! Really? I'm glad you think so! I love you! Yeah! Me, too! You! I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to be an uncle! And you, my friend, are royally... Home. Shrek! Fiona! Fiona? Oh, no. Better out than in, I always say. No, no, no! It's okay. It's gonna be all right. Stop! Hey, wait! Donkey. Donkey! Wake up! Dada! Shrek! Are you okay? I can't believe I'm going to be a father. How did this happen? Allow me to explain. When a man has feelings for a woman... ...a powerful urge sweeps over him. I know how it happened. I just can't believe it. How does it happen? And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon When you coming home, son? I don't know when But we'll get together then, Dad. Donkey! Oan you just cut to the part where you're supposed to make me feel better? You know I love Fiona, boss. Right? What I am talking about is you, me, my cousin's boat... ...an ice

cold pitcher of mojitos and two weeks of nothing but fishing. Don't listen to him! Having a baby isn't going to ruin your life. It's not my life I'm worried about ruining, it's the kid's . When have you ever heard the phrase "as sweet as an ogre" ... ...or " as nurturing as an ogre" ... ...or "You'll love my dad. He's a real ogre." Okay. I get it. It's not going to be easy. But you got us to help you. That's true. I'm doomed. You'll be fine. You're finished. Uh, with yourjourney. "Wor-ces-ters-shiree" ? Now that sounds fancy! It's Worcestershire. Like the sauce? It's spicy! They must be expecting us. What in the shista-shire kind of place is this? Well, my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty. Must be a high school. High school? Ready? Okay! Wherefore art thou headed, to the top? Yeah, we think so, we think so! And dost thou thinkest thine can be stopped? Nay, we thinkst not, we thinkst not! All right, Mr. Percival, ease up on the reins. For lo, bro, don't burn all my frankincense and myrrh. I'm feeling nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirlies! How did you receive wedgies when you are clearly not the wearer of underpants? Let's just say some things are better left unsaid. So I was all like, " I'd rather get the black plague than go out with you." Oh, totally. Pardon me. Totally ew-eth. Yeah, totally. I just altered my character level to +3 superb-ability. Hi. We're looking for someone named... Who rolled a +9 dork spell and summoned the beast and his quadruped? I know you're busy not fitting in, but can you tell me where I can find Arthur? He's over there. There is no sweeter taste on thy tongue than victory! Strong, handsome, face of a leader. Does Arthur look like a king or what? Sorry. Did you say you were looking for Arthur? That information is on a need-to-know basis. It's top secret! Now, gentlemen, let's away. To the showers! Greetings, Your Majesty. This is your lucky day. What are you supposed to be? Some kind of giant mutant leprechaun or something? Giant mutant... You made a funny. Unhand me, monster! Stop squirming, Arthur. I'm not Arthur. I am Lancelot. That dork over there is Arthur. This is, like, totally embarrassing... ...but Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly. She thought perchance thou would ask her to the Homecoming Dance. Excuse me? Like, whatever. She's into college guys and mythical creatures. Oh, Arthur... ...come out, come out, wherever you are! You better run, you little punk no-goodniks! The days of Donkey Dumpy Drawers are over! Hold it. We're here for the mascot contest. We're here for the mascot contest, too. This is a costume? Worked on it all night long. Looks pretty real to me. If he were real, could I do this? Or this? If it were real, that would have been agonizingly painful. Now watch this! That's quite enough, boys. Thank you to Professor Primbottom and his lecture... ...on "just say nay" . And now, without further ado, let's give a warm Worcestershire hoozah... ...to the winner of our mascot contest, the... ...ogre? That's right. I'm the new mascot. So let's really try and beat the other guys at... ...whatever it is they're doing! This is all a bit unorthodox... Where can I find Arthur Pendragon? Hey, wait... Olassic. You should be ashamed of yourself! I didn't do it. They did. Please don't eat me. Eat him! Eat him! Eat him! I'm not here to eat him! Time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You're the new King of Far Far Away. What? Artie a king? More like the Mayor of Loserville! Burn. Is this for real? Absolutely. Olean out your locker, kid. You have a kingdom to run. So, wait...l'm really the only heir? The one and only. Give me a second. My good people... ...there's a lesson here for all of us. Next time you're about to dunk a kid's head in a chamber pot, stop and think, " Hey, maybe this guy has feelings. Maybe I should cut him some slack. Cause maybe... just maybe... ...this guy's gonna turn out to be, I don't know, a king? Maybe his first royal decree will be to banish everyone who ever picked on him." I'm looking at you, jousting team! And Guin? Oh,

Guin. I've always loved you. Good friends, it breaks my heart, but... ...enjoy your stay here in prison while I rule the free world! Okay, let's not overdo it. I'm building my city, people... on rock 'n ' roll! You just overdid it. Look at you! You look darling. Just precious. Look at her. Any cravings since you got pregnant? No. Not at all. Do you smell ham? It's present time! Fiona, please open mine first. It's the one in front. " Oongratulations on your new mess mak..." Oh, mess maker! " Hopefully this helps. Love, Oinderella." Look at that! What is it? It's for the poopies. Wait... babies poop? Everyone poops, Beauty. Fiona! We all chipped in for a little present, too. Ta-da! You know the baby will love it, because I do! Guys, that's so sweet. Thank you. Who's this one from? I got you the biggest one, because I love you most. " Have one on me. Love, Snow White." What is it? He's a live-in babysitter. Where's the baby? You're too kind, Snow, but I can't accept this. It's nothing. I have six more at home. What does he do? Oleaning. Feeding. Burping. So, what are Shrek and I supposed to do? Work on your marriage. Thanks, Rapunzel. What's that supposed to mean? Oome on now, Fiona. You know what happens. You're tired all the time. You start letting yourself go. Stretch marks. Say goodbye to romance. I'm sorry, but how many of you have kids? She's right! A baby will only strengthen the love Shrek and Fiona have. How did Shrek react when you told him? When he first found out, Shrek said... Onward, my new friends! To our happily ever afters! Now... bombs away! Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan. His name's not Peter. Shut it, Wendy. Enough pillaging! To the castle! You go! Take care of the baby! Everybody stay calm! We're going to die! Everyone in! Now! Oome on! Put some back into it! We don't have time. Now go! Quickly, ladies! We'll hold them off as long as we can! Where are Shrek and Fiona? The name doesn't ring a bell. No bell. I suggest you freaks cooperate... ...with the new King of Far Far Away! The only thing you're ever gonna be king of is King of the Stupids! Hook! Right! Avast, ye cookie. Start talking. Gingy! Papa! Settle down now. On the good ship Lollipop It's a sweet trip to the candy shop You! You can't lie. So tell me, puppet... where is Shrek? Well... I don't know where he's not. You don't know where Shrek is? It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume... ...that I couldn't exactly not say that is or isn't almost partially incorrect. So you do know where he is! On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty... Stop it! ...I do not know where he shouldn't be. If that indeed wasn't where he isn't . Even if he wasn't not where I knew he was, it could mean... On the good ship Lollipop Enough! Shrek went off to bring back the next heir! He's bringing back the next heir? No! Hook! Get rid of this new " King" . But bring Shrek to me. I have something special in mind for him. He'll never fall for your tricks! Oh, boy. I can't believe it. Me, a king? I knew I came from royalty, but... ...I figured everyone forgot about me. Oh, no. In fact the King asked for you personally. Really? Wow. But I know it's not all fun and games. It really is all fun and games, actually. Sure, you have to knight a few heroes, launch a ship or two. By the way, make sure you hit the boat just right with the bottle. Any idiot can hit a boat with a bottle. Well, I've heard it's harder than it looks. This is going to be huge. Parties, princesses, castles. Princesses. You'll be living in the lap of luxury. The finest chefs will wait for your order. And fortunately, you'll have the royal food tasters. What do they do? Taste the food before the King eats, to make sure it's not poisoned. Poisoned? Or too salty. Don't worry. Your bodyguards will keep you safe. All of them willing at a moment's notice to lay down their lives out of devotion to you. Really? The whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance. Make sure they don't die of famine! Or plague. Plague is

bad. The coughing, the groaning, the festering sores. Festering sores! You are one funny kitty cat. What did I say? We don't want Artie getting the wrong idea. Artie? There goes my hip! Artie! What are you doing? What does it look like?! This really isn't up to you. I don't know anything about being king! You'll learn on the job! Sorry, but I'm going back. Back to what? Being a loser? Now look what you did! Look what I did? Who's holding the wheel, chief? Shrek! Land ho! How humiliating. Oh, nice going, Your Highness. Now it's "Your Highness" ? What happened to " loser" ? If you think this is getting you out of anything, it isn't . We're heading back to Far Far Away one way or another... ...and you're going to be a father! What? You just said "father" . King! You're going to be king! "You're going to be king!" Yeah, right. Where are you going? Far Far Away... from you! Get back here, young man! Boss? I don't think he's coming back. Maybe it's for the best. He's not exactly king material. When did you plan to tell him you were supposed to be king? Oome on. Why would I do that? Besides, he'll be ten times better at it than me. Then change your tactics if you want to get anywhere with him. You're right, Donkey. What about this? Shrek! Oome on. It's just a joke. Still... Listen, Artie. If you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude. I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof. But what I am screamin' is, yo... ...check out this kazing thazing, bazaby! If it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying ain't straight trippin', say, " Oh, no, you didn't ! You're getting on my last nerve." And then I'll know it's ... I'll know it's wack! Help! I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me! Artie, wait. Oome on! Help! Hello? Greetings, cosmic children of the universe. Welcome to my serenity circle. Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex. Now prepare to... I knew I should have got that warranty! Mr. Merlin? You know this guy? Yeah. He was the school magic teacher, until he had his nervous breakdown. Technically, I was merely a victim of a level 3 fatigue. At the request of my therapist, and the school authorities, I retired to the tranquility of nature to discover my divine purpose. Oan I interest anyone in a snack or beverage? Uh, no. Sure you don't want to try my Rock Au Gratin? It's organic. Thanks. I ate a boulder on the way in. We need directions to Far Far Away. "We" ? Who said I was going with you? I did. People are counting on you, so don't try to weasel out of it. If the job's so great, you do it. Understand this, kid. No more Mr. Nice Guy from here on out. That was your Mr. Nice Guy? Yeah, and I'm going to miss him. Why don't you go terrorize a village and leave me alone! Was that a crack about ogres? You get your royal highness to Far Far Away... ...before I kick it there! Now, which way am I kicking? I could tell you, but since you're in the midst of a self-destructive rage spiral, it would be karmically irresponsible. Self-destructive...? Are you going to help us or not? Most definitely, but only after you take the journey to your soul! I don't think so. It's either that or primal scream therapy. All right. Journey to the soul. Now, all of you, look into the Fire of Truth and tell me what you see. Ooh, charades! Okay, I see a Dutch fudge torte with cinnamon swirls! Okay, monster... go for it. I see a rainbow pony. Excellent work! Now the boy. This is lame. You're lame! Now just go for it. Okay. There's a baby bird and a father bird sitting in a nest. Yes! Stay with it! The dad just flew away. Why did he leave the little bird all alone? It's trying to fly, but it doesn't know how to. It's going to fall! Proper head case you are. Really messed up. Okay, I get it. The bird's me. My dad left. So what? Look, Artie, um... Just thought I'd help set the mood... ...for your big heart-to-heart chat. I know what it's like to not feel ready for something. Even ogres get scared. You know... once in a while. I know you want me to be king, but I can't . I'm not cut out for it,

and I never will be. Even my own dad knew I wasn't worth the trouble. He dumped me at that school first chance he got... ...and I never heard from him again. My dad wasn't really the fatherly type, either. I doubt he was worse than mine. Oh, yeah? My father was an ogre. He tried to eat me. I guess I should have realized it. He bathed me in barbecue sauce and put me to bed with an apple in my mouth. I guess that's pretty bad. It may be hard to believe, what, with my obvious charm and good looks, but people used to think I was a monster. And for a long time, I believed them. But after a while, you learn to ignore the names people call you and just trust who you are. You know... you're okay, Shrek. You just need to do a little less yelling and use a little more soap. Thanks, Artie. The soap's because you stink... really bad. Yeah... I got that. This place is filthy! I feel like a hobo. I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me. Everything's always about you. It's not like your attitude is helping. Maybe itjust bothers you I was voted fairest in the land. You mean in that rigged election? Give me a break. " Rapunzel, Rapunzel... ...let down thy golden extensions!" Ladies, let go of your petty complaints and let's work together! So I guess the plan is we just wander aimlessly in this stinkhole until we rot. No, we get inside and find out what Oharming's up to. I know he's a jerk and everything, but that Oharming makes me hotter than July. That's it! Oome on! This way! Rapunzel, wait! Oharming, let go of her. But why would I want to do that? What? Say hello, ladies, to the new Queen of Far Far Away. Rapunzel, how could you? Jealous much? Soon you'll be back where you started, scrubbing floors or locked away in towers. That is, if I let you last the week. Pookie, you promised not to hurt them. Not here, kitten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later. Now forgive us. We have a show to put on. Shrek will be back soon, and you'll be sorry. Sorry?! Don't you realize once Shrek sets foot in Far Far Away... ...he's doomed? Look out! They got a piano! Kill them all... except the fat one. King Oharming has something special in mind for you, ogre. King Oharming? Attack! Artie, duck! Ready the plank! Shrek! Help! Oowards! What has Oharming done with Fiona? She's going to get what's coming to her. And there ain't nothing you can do to stop him! We've got to save her. But she's so far far away! Get yourself back to Worcestershire, kid. No, Shrek. Hold on. I've got an idea. I am a buzzing bee. Mr. Merlin? They need a spell to get them... ...I mean us, back to Far Far Away. Forget it. I don't have that kind of magic in me anymore. How about a hug? That's the best kind of magic. Please. I know you can do it. I said forget it! But... What's with you? It's just so hard, you know? They need to get back, cause their kingdom's in trouble. Cause there's a really bad man. It's just so hard! Take it easy. No! I don't think you understand! There's a mean person doing mean things to good people. Have a heart, old man. They really need your help to get back. Why won't you help them?! Okay. I'll go get my things. Piece of cake. Well, well. You want eggs with that ham? I am a little rusty, so there could be some side effects. Side effects? Don't worry. Whatever it is, no matter how excruciatingly painful, it will wear off eventually. I think. Oops. You sure about this? If Artie trusts him, that's good enough for me. Even if his robe doesn't cover... Alacritious expeditious... ...a-zoomy-zoom-zoom! Let's help our friends get back... ...soon! It worked! I haven't been on a trip like that since college! Donkey? What? Is something in my teeth? Oh, no! I've been abracadabra-ed into a Fancy Feastin', second-rate sidekick! At least you don't look like some kind of bloated pi�ata! You should think about going on a diet! You should get yourself a pair of pants. I feel all exposed and nasty! So you two think this is funny? I'm really sorry, guys. Don't be. You got us back, kid. How in the Hans Ohristian Andersen am I supposed to parade around in these goofy boots?

Hey, hey, hey! Be very careful with those. They were made in Madrid by the finest... You'll learn to control that. Seriously. Ow! You need some comfort inserts or arch supports or something. Watch it. I'm walking here and I'm gonna keep going until... Pinocchio! Shrek! Help me! What happened? Oharming and the villains took over! Fiona and the Princesses got away. Now she's ... She's what?! What?! Puss! Loan me five bucks. You heard him. Help the brother out. Do you see any pockets on me? Hold on a second. I had no idea, really. I... I swear. Quick! Where is Fiona? Oharming has her locked away someplace. You have to find him! He's probably getting ready for the show! Wait, Pinocchio! What show? " It's a Happily Ever After After All" . " Shrek's final performance" ? Shrek! You didn't tell us you were in a play! I guess I've been so busy I forgot to mention it. The ogre! Get him! Don't worry, jefe. I got this. Uck! Kill it! Look. Don't you know who he thinks he is? How dare you! We're dealing with amateurs. He's a star, people! Hello? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek. I'm going to lose it! Is everything ready? You did get the list for the dressing room? Breakfast croissant stuffed with seared sashimi tuna. And I hope you have the saffron corn with jalapeno honey butter. Our client cannot get into his proper emotional state withoutjalapeno honey butter! I just lost it. They should talk to Nancy in Human Resources. Oh, we will have much to say to Nancy, I promise! "With this sword, I do..." No. "With..." "With this sword, I do smote thee!" Is " smote" the right word? " Smoot" ? I don't think that's a word. Maybe I should just " smite" him. Let's try this again. Now... Shrek attacks me. I pretend to be afraid. " Now the kingdom will get the happily ever after they deserve. Die, ogre!" Blah, blah, blah. Oh, itjust doesn't feel real enough! Who told you to stop dancing?! Wink and turn. What are you laying around for? Get up! Honestly! Our happily ever after is nearly complete, Mummy. And I assure you... ...the people of this kingdom will pay dearly for every second... ...we've had to wait. Break a leg. On second thought, let me break it for you. Thank goodness. I was afraid you wouldn't get back in time. Where's Fiona? Don't worry. She and the others are safe... for now. Let me guess. Arthur. It's Artie, actually. This boy is supposed to be the new King of Far Far Away? How pathetic. Stand still, so I won't make a mess. Oharming, stop! I'm here now. You got what you wanted. This isn't about him. Then who's it about? I'm supposed to be king, right? You weren't really next in line for the throne. I was. But you said the King asked for me personally. Not exactly. What does that mean? I said whatever I had to say, all right? I wasn't right for the job, so I needed some fool to replace me. And you fit the bill. So just go! You were playing me the whole time. You catch on real fast, kid. Maybe you're not as big of a loser as I thought. You know, for a minute... ...I actually thought... What? That he cared about you? He's an ogre. What did you expect? You really do have a way with children, Shrek. Leave me out with the waste This is not what I do It's the wrong time She's pulling me through It's a small crime And I got no excuse And is that all right, yeah? Is that all right with you? Is that all right, yeah? If I give my gun away when it's loaded? If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it? Is that all right? Is that all right? Is that all right with you? No. Had we stayed put like I suggested, we'd be sipping tea out of little heart-shaped cups. Yeah, heart-shaped cups. And eating crumpets smothered with loganberries. Yeah, loganberries. Shut up, Oindy. Yeah, shut up. No, you shut up. Stay out of this. Who cares who's " running the kingdom" ? I care. You should all care. I have your badge number, tin can! Donkey? Princess! Puss? I am Puss, stuck here inside this hideous body. And I'm me! But you're... Everything's fruity in the loops, but what happened is we went to high school, the boat crashed and we got

bippity-boppity-booped by the magic man. You poor sweet things. I don't get it. The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet. What's to get? Who dat? Where's Shrek? Oharming has him. He plans to kill Shrek tonight in front of the whole kingdom! All right, everyone. We need to find a way out now. You're right. Ladies, assume the position! What are you doing? Waiting to be rescued. You've got to be kidding me. What else can we do? We're just four... ...I mean three, super-hot princesses... ...two circus freaks, a pregnant ogre and an old lady! Excuse me. Old lady coming through. Mom! You didn't think you got your fighting skills from your father, did you? Excuse me. There's still one more. Why don't you just lie down? Okay, girls, from here on out... ...we take care of business ourselves. The Far Far Away Theatre at the Charming Pavilion is proud to present... ..."It's A Happily Ever After After AII." Enjoy your evening of theatrical reverie, citizen. Oi! No food or beverages in the theater! Places, everyone! Easy! Sorry. I was showing off for the little one. It's Bring Your Kids to Work Day. Oome here, beautiful. Well, she's got your eye. Who would have thought a monster like me deserved something as special as you? Little birdies, take wing Flitting down from the trees they appear And to chirp in my ear All because I sing Move it! Go! My babies! Help! Hey, how's it goin' O to the K. The coast is clear. Let's do this. Go, Team Dynamite! I thought we agreed to use the name Team Super Oool. I recall it was Team Awesome. I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron. Okay! From henceforth, we will be Team Alpha Super Awesome Oool Dynamite Wolf Squadron. Ach de liebe! There is some strange little girl over there staring at us! Artie! Wait, wait! Where is the fire, se�or? Please. Don't act so innocent. You both knew what was going on and kept it to yourselves. It's not like it seems. It's not? I think it seems pretty clear. He was using me. That's all. Using you? You really don't get it. Shrek only said those things to protect you. Oharming was going to kill you, Artie! Shrek saved your life. Oue the spot! I wait alone up here I'm trapped another day Locked up here, please set me free My new life I almost see A castle, you and me Yes, a castle, you and me Oherubs! Tis I, Tis I Upon my regal steed Princess, my love At last you shall be freed I'm strong And brave And dashing my way there With speed! With might! With soft and bouncy hair! - Through the blistering desert Hot! - Across the stormiest sea Wet! Facing creatures so vile Foul! So you can gaze upon me! I knew you'd come for me And now we finally meet I knew you'd wait And from my plate of love you'd eat Who is this terribly ugly fiend Who so rudely intervened? Will Charming fight or flee? Please rescue me! From this monstrosity! Fear thee not, honey lamb! I will slice this thing up like a ham! Oh, boy. You are about to enter a world of pain With which you are not familiar! It can't be any more painful than your lousy performance. " Prepare, foul beast." Prepare, foul beast, your time is done! Oould you kill me and then sing? Be quiet! I'm just having fun with you. That's actually a very nice leotard. Thank you. Do they come in men's sizes? Now that be funny! Enough! Now you'll finally know what it's like... ...to have everything you worked for... ...everything that's precious to you, taken away. Now you'll know how I felt. Sausage roll! Pray for mercy from Puss! And Donkey! D Hi, honey. Sorry we're late. You okay? Much better, now that you're here. So, Oharming, you want to let me out of these so we can settle this ogre-to-man? Ooh, that sounds fun. But I have a better idea. No! Let go of me! You will not ruin things this time, ogre. Kill it. Everybody, stop! Oh, what is it now?! Artie? Who thinks we need to settle things this way? You mean you want to be villains your whole lives? But we are villains! It's the only thing we know. You never wish you could be something else? Easy for you to say. You're not some evil enchanted tree. You morons! Don't listen to him!

Attack! What Steve means is it's hard to come by honest work when the whole world's against you. Right. Thanks, Ed. Fair enough. You're right. I'm not a talking tree. But you know... ...a good friend once told me... ...just because people treat you like a villain, or an ogre... ...orjust some loser... ...doesn't mean you are one. What matters most is what you think of yourself. If there's something you really want, or someone you want to be... ...the only person standing in your way is you. Me? Get him! No, no, no! What I mean is each of you... ...is standing in your own way. I always wanted to play the flute. I'd like to open up a spa... in France! I grow daffodils. And they're beautiful. A new era finally begins! Now all of you... ...bow before your King! You need to work on your aim. This was supposed to be my happily ever after! Well, you need to keep looking... ...because I'm not giving up mine. Mommy? It's yours if you want it. But this time it's your choice. Author! Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie! Excuse me. That's my seat. Okay, Se�or Hocusy-Pocusy, the time has come to rectify some wrongs! Though I have been enjoying these cat baths. Please say you didn't . All right! Look. You'll feel a pinch and possibly lower intestinal discomfort... ...but this should do the trick. Are you...? I'm me again! And I am not you! All right! Oops. Ah, never mind. What did I tell you? The kid's going to be a great king. Well, for what it's worth, you would have, too. I have something much more important in mind. Finally. Dada. Was I wrong about the world? It's a beautiful new place I smell Shrek Junior! Where else could a creep like me Meet such a pretty face Meeting every day with the rising sun Looking up, it's looking like My losing streak is done Peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo! A bouncy, bouncy, boy! Used to always feel like Wished that I was dressed better Where's the baby? Never had a lot of luck Until I finally met her Meeting every day with the rising sun Looking up, it's looking like My losing streak is done My losing streak is done Well... what shall we do now? I got it. Puss and Donkey, baby! Once again, come on! I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again! Look at my hips! I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again! Break it down! Let's go! Stiff all in the collar Fluffy in the face Chit chat chatter trying Stuffy in the place Thank you for the par-tay But I could never stay I'm sorry. I got many things on my mind But the word's in the way And I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again Different strokes for different folks Thank you for letting me be myself Again Break it down! Puss and Donkey, baby! Puss and Donkey, baby! Puss and Donkey, baby! Dance to the music All night long Everyday people Sing a simple song Mama's so happy Mama start to cry Papa's still singing You can make it if you try So try! Thank you for letting me be myself Again Thank you for letting me be myself Again Oome on, Donkey. Do something right! Put the hoofs together! Put the hoofs together! Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! Thank you for letting me be myself Again I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again Thank you, thank you, thank you. Want to thank you Just to be my Because I just want to be my... See? Can I, can I thank you! Can I Yes! Yes!

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Jac & Amelia

Jac: So, you got your room 🙌 What other wins did freshers bring you? 😄 Amelia: Yeah, thank god Amelia: it's been full on enough without adding travel sickness Jac: Never going to fly when class starts either Jac: it's just slightly more inventive than coming down with the 'flu' every Monday morning, but not enough Amelia: bit intense to start crashing on my new friends floors too, I don't want to be THAT gay Jac: 😂 Jac: I doubt they'd mind Jac: but having a base that isn't totally covered in crochet decor is a plus Amelia: now that freshers is over and they're going to 🤞 they never see those hook ups again maybe Amelia: still, not the first impression I'm trying to make Jac: Oh God, tell me about it Jac: I am not trying to have people I've got to avoid for the next 7 odd years Jac: not trying to make it like home like that Amelia: very relatable Amelia: even though I have no need to count that high Jac: Is your course 3? or 4? Amelia: depends if I want to go to Canada, Denmark, Italy, Poland, Sweden, USA or the UK for a year Jac: Oh wow Jac: 🦪 Amelia: that emoji is the gayest Amelia: so yeah probably Jac: Very O'Keefe of you Jac: can't give up the 🎨 quite yet? Amelia: 😂 Jac: I've met THE perfect girl for you, oh my GOD Amelia: because I'm going to travel to Edinburgh for 🦪 after dodging a 3 hour commute Jac: She's American, you could convince her Cork has a lot to offer beside 🦪 Jac: but actually, she is UNBEARABLE, and I'm trying very hard to be nice and give everyone a chance rn Jac: she does Art History, despite the fact she seems to know less about art than I do Jac: doesn't stop her 🔊 Amelia: 💔 you put your mean girl years behind you too soon, I'm SO proud though Amelia: and I'm sure Savannah appreciates it just as much Jac: 😏 I can feel the sincerity Jac: I know though, talk about completely crazy Amelia: if you want sincerity I can totally believe she'd follow you there as if nothing happened Amelia: are you okay? Jac: I think the prestige probably beat the off-chance I'd also be there but I appreciate the belief Jac: Yeah, actually, I am Jac: it went well, better than I could've or would've imagined before Amelia: alright, that's a relief Amelia: not that it's been playing on my mind or anything since the ✨ livened up my feed Jac: I would've got in touch sooner Jac: It did cross my mind, that you'd see Jac: I also didn't wanna encroach on your freshers' experience at all, that idea won out Jac: It must've been a shock for you and all Amelia: I get it, because likewise obviously Amelia: plus you seemed like you were coping, and it's not the same as before, you have people to go to now if you aren't so Amelia: I don't know, it seemed too dramatic to come at you all !!!!!! Amelia: which is why I didn't Jac: I wouldn't have bitten your head off Jac: but I see and appreciate that logic Jac: not to mention previous experience would say I actually would so Jac: She's changed a lot too, in those 2 years Amelia: good Jac: Yeah, turns out she had a pretty rough time of it too Jac: which, obviously, but I wasn't really in a space to think too much about that back then Amelia: was likely to be more 🥀 than 🌹 living with her dad, and everything that happened with her mum Amelia: I'm not surprised even if I couldn't be very sympathetic then Jac: I can't believe I was zoned out Jac: I didn't even know about her mum Amelia: you had loads of your own shit going on, it'd be more unbelievable if you were tuned into hers Amelia: I didn't know how bad it was, or didn't want to hear it, whichever Jac: Jess made it sound like the world and his wife knew Jac: I feel awful Jac: but her mum is doing better now, and they're trying to mend their relationship, so, that's positive Amelia: it always feels like that in my 🏠 but I would've told you if I'd realised Jac: It isn't your fault remotely Jac: like you said, sympathy about it wasn't at the forefront of your mind Jac: and you can't be blamed there Amelia: I'm genuinely glad things are getting better, the last thing she needs is to feel like shit for leaving her mum again if they aren't Jac: I know you are, you aren't a monster Jac: even if you and Savannah had your differences, and the obvious situation from there 'til now Amelia: that's enough sincerity though, the last thing I need is Savannah Moore trying to be my friend again Amelia: you can keep her Jac: 😂 Alright Jac: about that though Jac: things have changed, between us too Amelia: okay Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: Well, I told her, this time Jac: that I'm not straight Jac: and neither is she Amelia: she really has fucking changed Jac: She hasn't also come out, there's no label on it or anything Jac: but she likes me back Jac: you deserve to know, and would, regardless of where we were in our relationship Jac: I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear though Amelia: thanks, I guess Amelia: for not waiting for the 💍 announcement Jac: Things haven't moved quite that fast Jac: although, yeah Jac: I know Amelia: It's still Savannah, I doubt she's had a TOTAL personality transplant Amelia: you probably wouldn't like her if she had Amelia: so I'll keep an eye out for that post and put my congrats on it Jac: No, she's still her Jac: and I doubt her plans include a 💍 that could be bought on a student budget Amelia: true Amelia: I'll send some 💐 she'd NEVER put in the 🗑 Amelia: just the 💌 I'll actually bother to write, you know, like a normal person Jac: There goes the mystery Amelia: because of course you wouldn't recognise my handwriting Jac: I've checked your homework over enough times Jac: I doubt anyone else is rushing to send us a bouquet so Jac: process of elimination Amelia: there you go then Jac: but I have told my brother and that Jac: on the off-chance you catch him and he's dying not to bring it up Amelia: bit rude of him not to try and gently break the news Jac: Assumedly either thinking I've imagined the whole thing all over, or it'll all fizzle out before there's any need to go there Amelia: or I'm thriving so hard there's no need to bring me down 1 week in Jac: Obviously that too Jac: but you know that wasn't my intention, yeah Amelia: it's obvious you're not thinking about me, don't worry Jac: Okay Jac: do you want me to leave you now? Amelia: Why would I want that? Jac: Plenty of valid reasons Jac: to process, to not, you just don't feel like talking to me at this precise moment Amelia: what's to process? the bit about her not queerbaiting you the entire time is new, the rest isn't Jac: That's not nothing Jac: it changes the whole thing Amelia: not for me Jac: Alright then Amelia: you were hung up on her every second, what's changed for you is that was a least a bit mutual Amelia: I don't need to process any of that, it doesn't involve me Jac: It's still new information, that's all Amelia: not really Amelia: I probably should have guessed anyway Jac: If I didn't, I don't see how you could've Jac: she didn't even then so Amelia: too late to become a 🔮💎💫 gay, I hear you Jac: 🕵 is definitely a better idea Amelia: maybe I'd just really love to be able to say 'it's just a phase, mum' about something Jac: You've had plenty Amelia: name one Jac: [that boy band I said they liked lol] Jac: for starters Amelia: that wasn't a phase that was me lying that I cared Jac: yeah, okay Jac: you knew all the lyrics 'cos you cover was so deep Jac: no need to lie, they had some tunes Amelia: I knew all the lyrics because there was about 5 lines repeated over and over Jac: uh-huh Jac: you had badges all over your school bag Amelia: because you've never fully committed to a lie, oh wait Jac: There's no need to be a bitch Amelia: 😂 Jac: No, I'm not super ready to laugh about that time in my life, as it goes Amelia: okay Jac: I'm going to leave you to it now Jac: Good luck with your first proper day, hope it all goes well Amelia: actually wait though Amelia: I didn't mean that Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: Alright Jac: I know you're upset, or pissed off Jac: but being a better person doesn't extend to being a punching bag for you to get that out Jac: you can feel it, obviously, but that's just unproductive for you, and not gonna happen from my end Amelia: I know Jac: and I know that's what I did to you Jac: so it probably seems fair, or justified at least, that you get to now Jac: but it wasn't right, and an eye for an eye, you know Amelia: no, it's not fair, I wasn't being, that's why I'm sorry Jac: You don't need to stoop to my lowest Amelia: I'm trying, okay Jac: Yeah Jac: and I accept your apology Amelia: thanks Jac: should I not have told you? Amelia: I think that'd be worse Jac: I thought the same Jac: unless you were going to block me on the sly, then you would have seen Amelia: maybe I should now, I don't know Jac: If you want to Jac: to take some time Jac: or more permanently Jac: it's up to you Jac: obviously my offer of being friends still stands but I understand Jac: as I said, this changes things Amelia: yeah, if we let it Jac: You can't help how this makes you feel Amelia: but why should I let her take everything again? Jac: Savannah isn't actively doing that Jac: but if you want to keep trying, so do I Amelia: we worked hard at getting here, me and you, that's not about her Jac: True Jac: You don't have to be friends with her now, that's not it Jac: just accept that she's my girlfriend, and a big part of my life Amelia: does she know? Jac: About what happened between us? Jac: No Jac: she doesn't know a huge amount about those two years, for me Jac: I plan to tell her everything Jac: but it's a lot to throw at her in a sitting, especially unasked, you know Amelia: it'd really fuck with her freshers, for sure Jac: Right Jac: all for having the hard but necessary conversations Jac: but there's a time and a place Jac: I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to make her feel bad for me, either Jac: like 'look what YOU did' because nah Amelia: too 🥀🥀🥀 Amelia: it can wait, neither of you are going anywhere Jac: That's my logic Amelia: she'll get why you waited Jac: I hope so Amelia: come on, it'll be harder for you to say than it'll be for her to hear, she's a LOT of things, but she won't want you to go through that before you're ready to Jac: You're right Jac: it just feels like secrets, and that feels like 10 steps back Jac: but it isn't that Amelia: I'm sure even she hasn't had time to tell you everything, she'd need to be chatting non stop Jac: True Jac: if you're ever done talking about yourself and your life, that's gotta be a sign you need to get out more, right Jac: there's always more to say Amelia: right Amelia: stop being so virgo-ish about it and give yourself a break Jac: 😂 okay Jac: I just need lectures to actually start Jac: so I can freak out on that instead Amelia: same Jac: are you more 😁 or 😱 Amelia: 😕 Amelia: over 😣 Jac: You'll be fine Jac: let me know how it goes though Jac: I'm interested Amelia: okay 🤓 Jac: Well there's a lot of overlap Jac: obviously, you can usually do them as a double discipline but I wanted to go pure Psych Jac: doesn't mean I'm not 🤔 Amelia: yeah Jac: 🤏🤓 fine Amelia: we're not strangers Jac: I remember Jac: so, what are your new mates like then? Amelia: great, obviously Jac: It's a good thing you aren't taking English Jac: that description leaves a lot to be desired Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Isn't there anyone in particular? Amelia: there's a whole course full of people Jac: Yeah, I like one of my profs, he's really cool Jac: but I don't know anyone on my course that well yet either, they all seem nice enough though Amelia: of course you do Jac: it's so refreshing in comparison to the teachers at our school Jac: even if he acted like a base level human, it'd be a step up Jac: but he knows his stuff, and he's down to help me get ahead, what more could I want Amelia: literally nothing Jac: But I'm still not into dudes so I won't commit that cliche, don't worry Amelia: a real weight off my mind Jac: sure Amelia: 😏 Jac: I've already done loads of prep Jac: can basically chill in his class this whole term Amelia: you can but you won't Amelia: 🤓🏆⭐ Jac: we're not strangers Amelia: maybe we are 🤏 because reading's the only prep we were given but I've already done it Jac: Not really Jac: you just pretended you weren't 🤓 Amelia: no, I just actually wasn't 🤓 about school Jac: plenty of other things Jac: you can't hide the 🤓 Amelia: it's not 😳 I literally can Jac: not from me Amelia: that'd be 10 steps back Jac: try 10000 Amelia: no thank you, that sounds exhausting Jac: you've got a 🛏 Amelia: yeah, I don't know who's more thrilled, me or my dad Amelia: getting to pretend he's allergic to pets for another year at least Jac: result Jac: won't have to fake seduce him on your behalf either Jac: I'm most thrilled Amelia: Savannah is Amelia: undoubtedly Jac: Yeah, that ain't something I ever want to explain 😂 Amelia: she'd be less understanding about it Jac: None of us are understanding that Jac: sorry to your father Amelia: 😂 Jac: I think your mum would snap Jac: go full psycho Amelia: probably Amelia: they're very 😍🥰😘 right now Jac: that's nice Jac: bit gross but good Jac: she won't call you every 10 minutes Amelia: she can try but I won't answer Amelia: the friend I like best will be here soon Jac: Sounds promising Jac: I'll leave you to it for now, for real Jac: you better get ready Amelia: you're so Amelia: you Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: I don't need 👗👠💄 Jac: what's that, a humblebrag? Amelia: hardly Amelia: it's a compliment for you, you're cute for caring Jac: It's not cute, I just like to look nice Amelia: oh so you don't think I look nice? Amelia: rude Jac: everyone looks better for effort Jac: that's simple facts Amelia: anyway, I meant it's cute you care about my social life this much Jac: because I really need you being a loner to worry about Jac: no tah Jac: obviously I'm happy for you Amelia: you don't need to worry about me whatever happens Jac: It's not optional Amelia: okay Jac: I never stopped Amelia: you can stop now Jac: That's just what being friends is Amelia: I'm no expert Amelia: have to take your word for it, if anything Jac: I know you care about me too Amelia: but you're thriving so I don't have to worry Jac: I guess Jac: it's not just for the bad times though, is it Amelia: I hope not Jac: it's not Jac: come on Jac: pull yourself together and at least do 1 out of 3 👗👠💄 Amelia: fine, I'll put shoes on Jac: that's what I like to hear Amelia: 🙄 just because I'm ignoring my mum there's no need for you to take over from her Jac: I still can't do any handicrafts so unlikely Amelia: Savannah is unlikely to wear a homemade 🧣 so I think you're fine Jac: she loves anything thoughtful but I ain't gonna start there still Amelia: 💐 Jac: Naturally Jac: both our rooms look like a florist already Jac: makes up for the shabby walls and carpet you can't do much about Amelia: any time you'd like to fully lean into the 👵 I'll do you an embroidery hoop or something Amelia: very chic Jac: they do sell a lot of that sort of thing in the charity shops Jac: I'm sure your 🎨 will be better than whatever the actual 👵 decided to do 🖼 Amelia: SUCH a compliment, I have no idea how I'm not 😳 Jac: Charity shops are in Jac: I'm not going to call it thrifting, I'm not even half-American, wouldn't be able to take myself seriously Amelia: good, please don't Jac: vintage, upcycling, all acceptable Amelia: for my mother Amelia: I'll take how 'modern' my room here is Jac: I suppose that does make a change Jac: I love the buildings though, the architecture Amelia: 🎨 Amelia: yeah, would be inspiring if I had any time Jac: Is Cork by the coast? Jac: I know nothing about that area Jac: I'm like NEXT to the beach, it's incredible Amelia: it's one of the largest natural harbours in the world, if that doesn't make you want to come and visit me, well ?? Amelia: it has it's own lovely architecture Jac: You should work for the tourism board, honestly Jac: good speech, that Amelia: 🤷🏻 Amelia: I'm here for the 🤓 and you're already interested in that Jac: I'd go to Italy, if I were you Jac: but then, Denmark might have the most interesting criminal practices and laws, so that's a good choice too Amelia: you'll visit me there then, yeah? Jac: I forgot about Sweden, but those three are the real ones to consider Jac: and we can sort visiting when we're even a bit settled Amelia: okay Jac: we've only just left Amelia: thanks for that obvious reminder Jac: 😏 Jac: you know what I mean Jac: give me a chance to get my diary in order before you're saying I'm avoiding you or whatever Amelia: give you a chance to miss me, you mean Amelia: you've got one right now, because I have to go get ready Jac: Oh, if we had to wait for that, you'd never see me again 😉 Jac: have fun 👠👠 Amelia: 💔 Amelia: bye

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r3b3lgrrrrrrrl · 5 years

Text

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 65)

"Beers, Cheers & Unexpected Tears"

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@lovemythsworld

@crystalbaby12

The After Party is raging. The music is loud as shots are flowing. Everyone is laughing and congratulating each other.

Luna and Ashley are changing to join them when Luna notices a singular text amongst dozens. It's from an unknown number.

"Seen U 2nite little one 😛"

"This motherfucker and his burner phones." She thinks, deciding not to delete it this time in case Colson asks. She blocks the new number again and pockets her phone. Luna has a boyfriend to enjoy.

--------------------------------------------------

As soon as he sees her, Colson pulls Luna close. "I'm so fucking proud of you, Kitten. The way you and Ash changed it up was beautiful." He places his hands on the back of her head and back. Kissing her deeply. Any thoughts of Tommy disappearing.

"Thanks for including Case. She had a ball." He tells her, while still holding her.

Luna looks around to spot the little girl, goofing off with Benny and Slim. She smiles as she looks back up at him. "Of course! It wouldn't have been the same without her. Did you see what she drew?" She asks him.

"Yeah, I told you she was hella smart." He answers proudly.

"She must get it from Em." Luna teases him.

"Shut up." He laughs, kissing her again.

"Remind me to grab it before we leave, please. I wanna frame it for her."

"She's so fucking amazing." Colson thinks holding onto her as she rests in his arms.

They're interrupted by Rook. "This is for you." He tells Luna handing her a shot.

Laughing, she easily swallows it whole.

"Where's mine?" Colson complains.

"Bring your asses on then, bitches." Rook jokes.

Luna kisses Colson once more before they follow behind Rook. Luna's grandmother grabs her hand, pulling her back as Colson proceeds on.

"Oh, Luna, you and Ashley were WONDERFUL!! I love how you stripped it down. I feel like it made your message clearer to some who may not have gotten it originally." Patti praises her.

"Thanks Mom-Mom. I didn't think of it that way." She admits before asking her if she'd like another drink.

"I would!!" Joni interrupts them, laughing as she shakes her empty glass. She grabs Luna for a tight hug, making sharp pain shoot through Luna's already pounding shoulder. Pulling back from her, Joni says "You did so great, Luna Bug! I'm so proud of you." before squeezing her tight again.

Luna grins at the old nickname, hugging Joni back and thanking her. Taking the woman's glass, she says "I'll grab you a refill. 7&7?" She asks, to Joni's nod. She already knew. "Mom-Mom?" She asks before heading to the bar.

"I'm okay for the moment, Loons. Thank you though." Pattie says before Luna makes her way off.

--------------------------------------------

Before hitting the bar, Luna stops into the bathroom. Working quickly she crushes up a few percs to bang them. Her shoulder is killing her and she knows between the happiness and hugs, it's only gonna get worse.

-------------------------------------------

"SHOTS!!!!!" Pete hollers, gathering everyone around, as Luna slips back in. "To a great show, great performance and most of all GREAT family!!!!

"CHEERS!!" They all shout as the raise their glasses. Slamming them in celebration.

--------------------------------------------

Everyone is having a good time, mixing with each other. Music and laughter floating through the room. Pete is busting it up with Kate, Colson and Rook. Benny, Baze and Slim are getting more drinks, mixing with the cast and crew. Dom and Ashley talk to Patti and Joni.

--------------------------------------------

"You girls were extraordinary!!" Patti raves at Ashley, after hugging her and Dom warmly. She had met Dom during Christmas, Ashley bringing him to Christmas Eve dinner.

"Thank you so much, Mom-Mom. You know your opinion means the world to me." Ashley beams. She has a great relationship with Luna's grandmother.

They continue talking about upcoming Nightmare performances, life and the album Ashley's working on. Patti watching adoringly as Dom gushes over his girlfriend. Delighted her girls have finally found men who seem to be deserving of them.

Luna drops off Joni's drink without interrupting the conversation. Looking around the same room, she finds Casie sitting and talking with Ashleigh. "Hey Dilla!!" She calls to her with a smile.

Casie looks up, grinning at Luna. She walks over to them and squats down as the little girl jumps into her arms full force. Both Ashleigh and Luna laugh.

"Yup. Percocets." Luna thinks, still feeling a slight throb. Yet, it's much better then it was.

"That was so much fun!" Casie exclaims. Kissing Luna on the cheek and squeezing her tight.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, Dilla!!" Luna beams at her, giving her another hug. "Do you have your picture? I wanna save it for you."

"Really!! THANK YOU!!" Casie dives into her again. "I'm gonna go get it!!" The little girl shouts over her shoulder as she runs off.

Colson is watching Luna and Casie. Feeling buzzed, plus overly happy and grateful for his girls, he prepares himself. "Here goes..." He thinks walking over to Pattie.

Luna is still sitting with Ashleigh. "You guys were great!!! It was really cool for you to involve Casie." She says as she smiles at Luna.

"Thanks." Luna smiles back. "I thought it was important, since she was in the video and everything, you know?"

Ashleigh nods. She likes Luna, always has. As she watches her with Colson and Casie, getting to know her better, she likes her even more.

"I'm just glad Emma thought it was just as cool..." Luna continues.

"You guys get along well, don't you?" Ashleigh asks her.

"Oh yeah, Em's fantas...." She's interrupted by a jumping Casie.

"Here it is!!!" She proudly displays her art to Luna and Ashleigh.

Luna takes it from her, saying "I'm gonna put it in my dressing room to keep it safe." as she stands up.

"Okay!!" Casie says, trusting Luna completely. "C'mon Ash!!! I wanna show you something cool!" She tells her, pulling her out of her seat.

"Byeeee..." Both women grin at each other.

As Luna heads to her dressing room, Colson walks over to Pattie and Joni. Ashley and Dom are now over with Pete and Kate. Approaching them, Colson has butterflies in his stomach.

"Fuck.... Fuck.... Fuck.... Get it together Kells." He tries to calm himself down. He's been thinking about this for the last few days. Not knowing when he'll see Pattie again, he tells himself to "Shoot your shot."

"Hello ladies." Colson greets Patti and Joni with his boyish grin.

"How are you, Dear?" Patti asks him with a hug. He hugs Joni also as they praise the performance.

Colson blushes while thanking them but stating humbly that it was all Luna and Ashley.

This makes Patti smile. She likes Colson. Respecting him as a man, parent and an artist. Appreciating how he cares and interacts with her granddaughter and absolutely adoring Casie.

"Do mind if I speak with you for a moment, Patti?" He asks her. There's a slight tremble to his voice.

Taking her cue, Joni heads off to mingle with the other young boys.

"Is everything ok, Colson?" The older woman asks him delicately.

Cheeks flushed, he looks away as he begins to rub his hand on the back of his head. "Yes ma'am." He answers, looking back at her.

"Spit it out, Honey." Patti encourages him.

"Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck." His mind races.

Looking around, he asks if she'd like to sit. She tells him No. That what she would like is for him to talk to her. Patti listens and watches him intensely as he begins to speak.

Her directness reminds him of Luna. "The apple doesn't fall far from that tree." The thought slipping into his mind.

"I uh, I.." Colson stutters. Closing his eyes, he musters up the same courage he found the night he met Luna.

"I love your granddaughter, Patti. I love everything about her. Her strongwill, her kindness, how she loves Casie and Casie loves her. The two of them mean everything in the world to me." He's rambling. "I know it's been a short time and you may think I'm crazy but I don't know what I would do without her. She makes me a better man and even though she doesn't need it, I have this insane urge to protect her." He sighs, looking down at the ground then back up at Patti. "I know it's Luna's choice and being who she is, I don't even know if she'll say yes or when I'll ask but...." He trails off as he inhales deeply. "I'd like to marry her one day and it's important to me how you feel about it."

Colson is nervously waiting for Patti's response. A soft smile spreads over her face. In the seven years Luna had dated and lived with Justin, he had never approached Patti in this capacity.

"When's her birthday?" She asks him. Deciding to have a bit of fun with first.

"July 16,1992." He answers without hesitating.

"What's her biggest fear?" The first was clearly too easy.

"Fame and deep sea diving." Colson states, postive of his answer. This impresses her grandmother.

"Luna's middle name?" Patti knows she hates it and tells very few.

Colson grins, feeling confident. "Adelaide."

Patti decides to dig deeper. "If she asked, would you sign a pre-nup?" Thinking of Luna's inheritance and the rights to both her and Robert's catalogs.

"No doubt." He nods his head, the thought never popping into his mind.

Patti has one last question. "What if she doesn't want to have kids? Would you be okay with that?" This one is very important.

Colson's eyes soften. "Then that's okay. We've talked about her not knowing if she wants to or not. I want you to know, I don't love your granddaughter for what she can or can't give me. I love her for who she is. All parts of her. The independence, the stubborness, the unpredictableness. All of it. Besides, we have Casie." He shrugs lightly.

Patti takes his hand and squeezes it. "She's lucky to have found you. You'll make a great partner. Whether she let's you marry her or not." She tells him kindly.

It takes a minute for it to register with Colson. Once it does, he asks Patti excitedly "Does this means what I think it means!??" Blue eyes bright.

Patti nods as Colson lifts her up for a tight hug. She's laughing when he puts her down.

"Thank you! Thank you!" He says taking both her hands before hugging her again and kissing her cheek. Promising her she has nothing to worry about. That he'll never waver from Luna's side. Married or not.

"Go get her, Kiddo." She tells him with a wink. He kisses her cheek again before asking if she needs anything.

"Go have fun." She tells him with a pleased smile. He thanks her again sincerely before going to check on. Casie.

"What was that?" Joni asks moseying over to her bestfriend.

"He just asked for my granddaughter's hand in marriage." Patti tells her with a pleased look with a mix of amusement.

"I guess chivalry isn't dead." Joni muses, spipping her cocktail, watching the next generation with hope.

Coming back from her dressing room, Luna heads over to Pete, Kate, Ashley and Dom. She doesn't see Colson walking over to them. Casie is now with her grandmother and Joni. Ashleigh is talking with Kenan as The Boys still mixing with the cast and crew.

"Yo! Tonight was epic!" Pete says. Raising his glass, he toasts "To the baddest bitches I know, changing the world one song at a time!" The five of them laugh through their "CHEERS!!"

"I'm always fucking missing out on drinks tonight!" Colson complains with a laugh as he slides his arm around Luna's waist.

"Poor Bunny." Luna leans up, barely reaching his cheek to kiss it. He gives her a boost by the ass. She then turns and grabs him a fresh Rolling Rock off the bar.

"A1, Day 1!" He laughs again while bending down to kiss her.

"So how long have you guys been together?" Kate asks Luna.

"Almost 10yrs in their minds!" Pete teases them to Luna's smirking, rolled eyes and everyone else's laughter.

"No, for real, a little over a month?" Colson answers, looking at Luna to double check.

She shrugs, "Yeah, about a that." She agrees, touching the padlock around her neck.

"Wow, you guys are really in sync with each other." Kate admires.

Luna and Colson exchange that One Look before a quick kiss. "I'm gonna check on Case, come on Pete." He coaxes his friend. Dom had already wondered off towards The Boys.

Ashley, Kate and Luna continue to talk. The bestfriends asking how Kate and Pete met. It wa by random, at a coffee shop in MidTown. Kate asks about Yellowhammer.com and their activism in AL. The girls explaining their work with the ACLU and Planned Parenthood. Kate's quit impressed. She loves how outspoken, motivated and fearless they are as young women. They continue to laugh as they get to know each other better. Ashley deciding she likes Kate. Luna already coming to the same conclusion. Kate's smart and funny. She's also really sweet and mature. Not some little kid who's going to play with their friend's heart.

"Oh, Petey!!!" It's so good to see you, Lovey!!" Patti hugs Pete as he squeezes her back tight.

"Glad you could make it, Pat!" He says with a huge smile as he leans to greet and kiss Joni too.

"How's your mother?" Pat asks him. He responds with a 'GREAT' before Pat tells him to have her call so they can have lunch soon. Complaining how she feels like it's been ages since she's seen her friend. He agrees happily.

"Tell me about this lovely woman you have with you..." Patti changes the subject

Colson laughs as Pete turns as red as a tomato. He's saved by Casie.

"Dad can I stay the night with Ms. Patti and Ms. Joni? We're gonna have a sleep over...." She asks excitedly, looking up at the nodding women beaming down at her.

"Uh... Let's ask Luna." He tells her before calling out "BROOKLYYYN!!" into the crowded room.

His voice makes Luna smile as she turns to find him. He's with Pete, Casie, Joni and her Mom-Mom. Him and Pete are waving her and Kate over.

"Looks like girlfriend duties call!" Ashley laughs. She goes to find Dom as the other women walk over to where they're being summoned.

"Hello, how are you this evening?" Patti asks of Kate with an inviting. Before she can answer, Casie interrupts them.

"Can I spend the night, Looney!? Can I spend the night???" She's jumping up and down.

"Where at, Dilla?" She looks at Colson confused.

"Ms. Patti's. We're gonna have a slumber party with Ms. Joni!!" She explains as she's about to burst.

Colson shrugs and Patti nods when Luna looks at them. "You don't have any clothes...."

"Clothes, smlothes." Her grandmother tells her. "She can sleep in one of my old band Ts. You guys come by tomorrow with fresh clothes and we'll all go out to brunch before you leave again." Patti has it all planned out.

Luna laughs in agreeance, knowing her Mom-Mom had an ulterior motive.

"It's settled then. Why don't you collect your things and say your goodbyes while I talk to Petey." The old woman tells the little girl.

"Petey?" Casie smirks with a laugh. Skipping away she sings

🎶Petey, Petey such a little sweetie🎶

The adults laugh as Luna and Colson follow behind her. Pete going on to finish introducing Kate to Patti and Joni.

"It's an honor." Kate states in awe of the musical legends.

"Ooohhh... I like her." Joni says as they all laugh.

They enjoy polite conversation, Joni recognizing Kate from Pearl Harbor, asking what it was like to work with a young Ben Affleck. Kate laughs sliding her hand into Pete's, saying that they're good friends

Meeting up with Benny, Rook, Ashley, Dom, Slim, Ashleigh and Baze across the room, Casie tells them about her epic night plans as she kisses and hugs them all goodbye. Benny offering to walk Casie, Patti and Joni out to Luna's gratitude.

Heading back to her grandmother, Luna introduces Patti to Benny. "He's gonna walk you guys out. And I don't wanna hear it, Mom-Mom. It's late and you'll have Case with you." Knowing her grandmother's protests of independence.

Listening to her granddaughter, Patti thanks Benny for being a gentleman. Luna kisses and hugs her grandmother and aunt as Colson squeezes Casie goodbye.

They switch off. Colson hugging Patti while whispering 'Thank You' in the old rebel's ear before taking Joni's hand, thanking her for coming and kissing her lightly on the cheek. The two women are smitten by the charismatic young man.

Luna squeezes Casie, telling her to have fun and that she loves her. The little girl grins, saying she will and that she loves Luna too as she squeezes her tight again.

Standing up, Casie turns to Benny, imitating her father "WE OUT!!" she shouts. Erupting the adults into laughter again.

Luna grabs her grandmother's hand, telling her she loves her and to call if she has a problem. Patti squeezes her hand back, reassuring the young woman that they'll be fine. Admiring this new look on Luna.

As they leave, Colson leads Luna over to everyone else by the small of her back. "WE READY TO FUCKING PARTY!!! He shouts as the room erupts.

More drinks are ordered, music bumps and the laughter is contagious. Congratulations still making their rounds.

"Yo! You guys were fire!!" Slim compliments Ashley and Luna.

"Yeah, the way you guys stripped that shit down and then had us come in hard was fucking GENIUS!!" Baze agrees.

Luna and Ashley look at each other beaming.

"We couldn't done any of it without you guys. Seriously, all off you. From playing on it to producing it. This OUR baby, so THANK YOU GUYS!!" Luna lifts her glass. "To family!"

"TO FAMILY!!" They all cheers.

"I have to say, great song, phenomenal performance from you all, BUT, Case stole the show." Ashleigh laughs.

"That girl is smart as a whip!" Benny agrees. "You got your hands full Kells!" He laughs.

"FACTS!!" Rook chimes in, nudging Luna. "You ready for a crazy pre-teen because she's coming our way soon."

Colson overhears them. "That motherfucker better not scare her away." Thinking how he jumped the Patti hurdle, he doesn't need an imaginary one blocking his way to Luna.

"Enh, she's a great kid." Looking at their group, she laughs, "There's not much here for her to rebel against." Rook laughs with her as Luna shrugs and continues "Plus, both Colson and I were bad ass kids. Whatever she may slide passed Emma, she's deff not getting through the two of us."

She looks over and winks at Colson who's staring at her.

"FUCK I LOVE HER." Is all he can think.

Dancing, laughing and drinking, the night carries on. Shots be downed together all over the room.

"To the two chicks I know with balls bigger than most dudes. NOT MINE THO!!" A drunken Slim laughs loudly, cheersing The Girls. Slamming another round with Luna, Ashley and Benny.

Glancing over her shoulder, Luna sees devious Colson and Pete standing in the doorway.

She walks up to them. Before she can all what they're up to, they attack her. Trapping her tiny body between they're two tall, lanky ones.

Rocking her back and forth between the two of them, they sing laughing.

🎶We got a drunken Moon Pie🎶

🎶Not gonna let her get by🎶

Drunk and shocked. With her body bouncing off of them, Luna's bursts into fits of laughter as she begs them to stop.

🎶Even when she asks why🎶

🎶Cuz she's our drunken Moon Pie🎶

They keep shaking her till their song is over. Dizzy from her weird ride, Luna clings to Colson to catch find her balance.

"You guys are fucking maniacs." She laughs, resting her face on Colson's chest. "How long you been planning that?" She asks sarcastically.

"Five WHOLE minutes." Pete tells her, scrunching his face up. "Be careful, or we'll do it again." He warns playfully, sticking his tongue out.

"Is this what I have to live with now?" Luna drops her arms from around Colson. Looking between the two of them with a miffed look on her face.

"Yup." Colson and Pete say in unison, grinning at each other.

🎶We gotta...🎶 They go to start again before she springs out of their grasps.

"Fuck you guys." She laughs, trotting away.

Pete goes to find Kate as Colson chases after Luna, scooping her up from behind. She squeals as he kisses all over the back of her neck. Both are drunk.

"Ready to go?" He asks her. It's close to 3A.

"Yeah, I gotta grab my stuff first." She agrees.

Colson rallies up the bunch while Luna runs to her dressing room. Everyone's going back to the brownstone. Including Dom & Ashley and Pete & Kate. Benny offers to take Luna's bag and Casie's poster. She thanks him with a peck on the cheek.

"WE OUT!" Colson shouts as Luna runs up and jumps onto his back. Even caught off gaurd, he catches her easily.

"HIGH HO SILVER AND AWAY!!" Luna shouts from on top of him.

"You're so fucking weird!!" He laughs as their rowdy group makes their way through the empty building.

"YOOOOOOU LOVE IT!!!" She continues to drunkenly yell. Making him laugh harder.

--------------------------------------------

Back at the brownstone, they find Cards Against Humanity. Rook puts on music. Ashley clears off the kitchen table for Colson, Pete and Slim to start rolling joints. Luna grabs everyone beers while Ashleigh and Kate find snacks. Baze helps Dom set up the game. And Benny's searching for food on his phone. The Stay Fresh is delivering to everyone's drunken, hungry roars. They order a shit ton of wings, mozzarella sticks, cheese fries and more beer.

It doesn't take long for the food to arrive. Munching and drinking, the group passes around joints while they play the game. All of them are drunk and can hardly contain themselves.

Rook laughing hard enough, he falls out of his chair onto the floor. Luna almost losing a mozzarella stick out of her mouth from laughing at him. Colson snorting as he laughs loudly at them both. Everyone else laughing at one of the three of them.

They're so fucked up and distracted, they don't even finish the game. Hanging out, they one by two disappear. Leaving Benny asleep at the kitchen table.

Luna feels bad but Colson reassures her that he's immovable. To leave him be.

--------------------------------------------

Making out on the bed, Colson pulls away from Luna. His drunk eyes stare into hers with fear. He sometimes becomes emotionally vulnerable when he gets really wasted.

"Do you feel alright?" Luna asks, hoping to catch a smile from him. She does but it's tiny and weak as he rolls into his back. "Talk to me Colson." She shifts on her side, stroking his hair.

Staring at the ceiling, he let's out a sigh before telling her "I can't shake this Tommy thing."

"Oooohh Boy." Luna thinks. She's drunk and tired. The sun is coming up and all she really wants to do is fuck and sleep.

"What can't you shake?" She lays her head on his chest, facing him.

"Why you would cheat with him and not me." He tells her quietly.

Luna closes her eyes, trying to keep her patience with him. Sitting up, she climbs on top of him. Placing herself on his groin.

"Because when we seen each other, I was very much in love with Justin. We were still new, intimate, engaged in each..." She looks away, closing her eyes for a moment.

Head swimming from all the shots. Luna's never made it a habit of explaining herself. Drunk or not, she will for Colson though.

"His addiction sent us through spurts where he would shut me out. All of us, only hanging with people he knew wouldn't bitch about him getting high. There were months where we shared the same bed but weren't speaking about anything relevant, let alone fucking. I hooked up with Tommy during one of those cycles. I had felt like Justin had been cheating on me for years. I was pissed and felt rejected. Tommy was an escape that paid attention to me." One solid tear slides down her cheek. He wipes it away as she continues to look at Colson.

"Fuck, that sounds so pathetic." She thinks, disappointed in herself.

"Why didn't you leave him?" He asks her the same question from last night.

Luna sighs. This one is hard. "Because whether I liked his actions or not, at one point he was my bestfriend. I think I loved him so much that I clung to the idea that maybe we could get that back." She looks away, multiple tears dropping now. "Plus, I didn't know if he could survive without me. And that wasn't worth the risk." She wipes her own tears now as she shrugs. Lightly saying, "Didn't matter though, you know. I finally snapped and he killed himself the next day while I was out." She closes her eyes to keep the tears in.

He pulls her down onto his strong chest. Stroking her hair as she silently cries into. "You know it's not your fault." Colson tries to console her.

She sniffles a "Yeah...."

"Sure it's not.... That's why his entire written last words were dedicated to telling me to fuck off.... " She thinks sadly, feeling her soul hurt. Luna will always love the brilliant man she fell in love with. Not the shell Justin had become in the end. Although Luna misses him, she misses the life he should've had more. Even if he wasn't supposed to spend it with her.

**********************************************

Colson's heart rips apart for her. "She's too fucking loyal for her own good..... He didn't fuckinug deserve her..... At all.... Fuck.... And to let her find him... That's some asshole shit." Colson thinks as he holds her tight, vowing to himself to never hurt her.

Their conversation was heavy. Neither wanting to talk anymore, nor needing to. Their bodies telling each other everything they need to know as Luna lays on Colson's chest and he strokes her hair until both their worried minds finally shut off.

--------------------------------------------------

To be continued...

10 notes · View notes

0-q-0 · 7 years

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the character limit from the ask feature isn't enough for this goddamn Petition(tm)

Needless to say, I am a fan, let’s get that out of the way. So if I ever sound rude, it’s just because you keep putting yourself down and refuse to believe in yourself I have to resort to drastic measures.

I’ve been reading your tags and I’ve noticed you seem….resentful(??) of the fandom or at least have gotten tired of it and want to leave

pls clarify you’re giving me a heart palpitations

i seem to notice a pattern of ‘before September’? (maybe you’re embodying FAaC!Harry Hart too much here idk?)

if that’s true you won’t be doing Parts 2,3,4,5,+ of FAaC!?!

Regarding you wanting to focus on your original work in order to make money but sOMEHOW humbly denying people’s interest, there were these tags: “#i want to keep the fanon me away from my original works #maybe?? #seCRET IDENTITIES???”

ummm???????? should we be offended?

why don’t you just take advantage of your fans and advertise through an established audience? You wanna make money let them help you stupid spud

i literally see people asking to give you money, asking for your paypal, your nonexistent Patreon.

jUST. DO. IT.

Your dumb ass: …I’d like to try Patreon but it just feels…too cheeky. Like…who on earth do I think I am to ask people to pay me money every month, if that makes sense?

Listen…..I’ve seen plenty of people try and sweet talk you asking(demanding) for the next chapter–let those fuckers pay for your time and fucking effort.

If they can’t give you what you deserve then they need to keep their whiny ass mouths shut

You average, what, 20-27k per chapter? Good writing with dedicated links to visuals and music? You research plenty dude. That’s fucking obvious. And you have real ass responsibilities on top of that. (I mean, i don’t know what the hell they are, you’re fucking secretive as fuck–you some spy or some shit??? but in seriousness, you know what? I can feel you stressing through the screen)

You scared of getting in trouble? Fanartists make money??? Why can’t you? Writing is art and you’re definitely an artist.

STOP MAKING EXCUSES

Main point is: I want to keep reading your work, I want to know what happens, I don’t want to lose you. Selfish? Yep. I’m not rich by any means, but if a bunch of us contribute a baseline of what, 1-5 dollars or whatever that translates into your currency???? I can’t be the only one who feels this way.

Would you stay if you got enough money to get you through in RL?

Erm…very long response under the cut

I really don’t know what to say let me just stare at this blinking cursor before i rant

I’m??? Shooketh?

To clarify: Yes I intend to leave. Before the Kingsman sequel comes out. In September. Yes, that means no to 2, 3, 4, 5+++ of FAaC.

I even intend to leave my main tumblr as well just because I know no matter how I blacklist it, it will ultimately find its way to me.

I’m tired. I’m tired of falling so terribly deep in love with something that will never be real/canon. I’m tired of making people in love with something that will never be real/canon, making them invested, subconsciously urging them to stay on in that fantasy world of consumerism that makes those creators more money, those creators who will make money off of them and never deliver what the characters deserve.

Basically, I’m sick of being queerbaited, unintentionally or not. And I’m sick of writing of something that will blatantly do everything it can to make it straight–maybe joke about queerness here and there because

Hey, We’re Cool™ We tolerate Queerness ™ In fact, the character we said was gay has a female love interest this time but!!! idk we’ll make up to it somehow. Does it really matter? You’ve been stuck in your fandom and fanfiction anyway and you’ll continue to try and satisfy yourself with that instead and make us money anyway.

Maybe I’m too attached–As you can see from my fucking stupid almost 500k amount of work–But this makes me sick. It legitimately does. It keeps me up at night and it makes me nauseous, churning my stomach and making my eyes water and taking my breath away—because i’m stupid.

Point 2: Concerning the tags of me saying I wish to separate my original work and my fanon work and whether or not you should be offended.

Probably.

I want it separated. If you ever find my works in the wild, you may think it’s similar but move on with your life vs. If you knew it was me and started to read it, you’d somehow think it was Hartwin in an AU

that’s a bit offensive tbh.

i mean yes it’s a political royal bodyguard university shakespearean spy thriller, but???

Point 3: Yes, it’s also about giving too much and not getting much in return. I know I’m not owed anything, let’s get that clear. It’s fanfiction. Plenty of people make it without getting much back.

But you’ve pointed it out yourself, the effort, my chapter wordcount averages, the research I do–all of these things I do on my own terms for the integrity of the stories I make. That’s important to me, that’s something I will not be satisfied with if I ever compromise on it.

It’s starting to take a toll on me, worse than it has been for the past 2 years. Again, personal real life happenings. Yes, top secret–as you’ve mentioned. I have plenty of responsibilities and the world has been getting worse. I need to make a living, in addition to said responsibility.

Let’s just say for example that I go to uni/training institution. I need to focus on that.

I also need to get a more stable job that pays enough to enable my survival

The free time that I will have left, if plausible, I intend to spend on an original work/interpretation that will have two people who, let’s just say, would burn the world for each other and slowly come to realise that. It will be canon.

It won’t be something I have to wait for hopelessly and be disappointed at when the sequel comes along, a franchise with several writers who may not be in sync, several writers who may have no intention or bravery to allow these people to be together.

Point 4: I do not want to take advantage of people. Realistically, the amount of people who’d contribute won’t be enough. I think??

Ugh maths why would you make me do this–but i need to prove a point.

Lowest average salary per month in the field I’d be working on: £1500-1900

You said dollars, I’m assuming you meant American. so that would equal to about $2000-2500

Currently there’s about 1.2k FAaC subscribers. That means they’re somewhat interested in the story, that doesn’t mean they’re interested in me.

I get plenty of views from FAaC, but do I get the same or even half of that ratio on comments/feedback? No, I don’t.

That’s telling enough, isn’t it?

I’ve got around 100 subscribers to my ao3

Even on the off-chance that all of those 100 people give me 1 dollar each, that’s 100 dollars a month.

As much as I want to cease existing, I’m already here and dying would cost money. That’s the world we live in. 100 dollars wouldn’t even be 10% of funeral/cremation costs.

Conclusion: Would you stay if you got enough money to get you through in RL?

Unless some miracle happens to even reach the baseline of £1500/$2000 per month–But I’m sorry, that’s just not realistic. I don’t like getting my hopes up.

Despite your straightforwardness, you genuinely sound like you care and I appreciate that.

Thank you for reaching out to me with your concerns

#this is a very long reply which is why im banking on nobody reading it #lmao #replies #anon #submission #about me #psa #septembergate

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