#And wondering how the fuck Team Rocket is so fucking balls to the walls in the manga

[ghostiebloo]

Okay so can I just say that I hate that when people make a painting they have to do so much explaining of the meaning behind every brush stroke and color choices. Like fr I made a painting for an art gallery for alumni at my college and I know for a fact people are gonna ask me for some deep reasoning.

Sleep deprivation and rice is the only answer I always can think of when I consider what questions will come my way.

[dispatches-from-the-lorecord]

Forrest’s jirachi has a history with the Voices

[February 4, 2023]

{Haji:}

This post came across my dash, and remind me to ramble about Jirachi :HYPERRACC:

But the long of it is we have a history with Jirachi that makes me wonder what it even IS in the TPP verse

{Mitzi:}

revo :WutFace:

{Haji:}

Oh yeah, including Dev powers if we include Revo :Keepo:

So if Forrest was given form or freedom or whatever with Jirachi's help, it's... Possibly plotting something

See, in my hc, Jirachi really doesn't like us. And by Us, I mean Voices because it has worked with Hosts before, it's just that it seems 9/10 Jirachi only ever comes with us under weird circumstances so it's a matter of the host getting its trust.

Unfortunately, only one host I think has managed to not break that trust, which again is why this thing doesn't like us :tppWowee:

(that host being Petra btw. Still under weird circumstances, but Petra is a girl who gets it because Glitchmancy)

I'm not sure what the relationship is with Marina, but I'm not so familiar with later Metro Sapphire lore

The point is, in my lore Jirachi itself is The Wish Maker, a shapeshifting Glitch of the highest rank (because in my lore the Glitches have a hierarchy. This goes all the way back to S2 lore when someone coined the term for the level of glitch possessing XD was a Corporal) maybe even up there with Phancero, possibly just below it

{Newbie:}

...this gives me a new way of looking at the whole Forrest-Jirachi dynamic, ngl

{Haji:}

Yeah which is why rereading that conversation on the archive post made me go "wait... AHHHHHH :HYPERRACC: "

The shapeshifting idea came up in RandY when we rescued "Yveltal" but it was randomized to Jirachi. We failed to catch it and when we tried again, the cutscene and battle apparently counted separately so it got re-randomized to Registeel. Most of us joked Jirachi was pissed and summoned a mech to come after Venus and she's just running around the corner chamber screaming while throwing Pokeballs behind her. Because it's a scripted battle, so if we ran away from it, the game was like "Yveltal wants you to fight!" And just starts the battle again so no escape, had to catch 😂

Then we had Wooper 1 where the lore was Santa's Delibird can make all your wishes come true because it's bag is apparently a void you can draw anything from. Then it turned out to be a glitch and we teased that's the source of Santa's magic because he glitched several times too like frozen flying animation, going invisible, opening holes in the wall ect. Rocket Boss Shawn said he wanted to use Delibird to summon endless Master Balls, which is more of a Missingno trait but whatever

And then Petra got her Jirachi through debug menu. Like I said, she kinda gets this thing in the way Santa did. Fun Glitchmancy to do (relative?) good in the world unlike what happened with Goomtha, Shawn, Lysander, and Venus shoved it in the box (because while Yveltal is scripted to join the party, somehow the randomizer broke that part I guess since we failed the cutscene battle. So there was no prompt to add it to the team). Auguste probably falls into that category too now since he was bffs with this thing and then it got killed and he got cursed so.... :KEKWhands:

And I laughed to imagine the Registeel Mars found when looking for Cobalion is actually Jirachi using it's mech again to tell the Voices to fuck off as the old man in the cave told us the legendary hiding there has a deep hatred of humans after all it's been through

ALL ANYONE WANTS IT FOR IS ITS POWER :HaunterFU:

Which... Not wrong. Even if the Voices would like to befriend it at some point this history cuts deep

{Newbie:}

i seem to recall reading about an encounter with jirachi in storm silver and how chat ended up choosing to wish for money instead of a battle to catch it :Kappa:

{Haji:}

This would not surprise me 😅

So yeah, Jirachi trying to help Forrest is interesting to me. Whether as a fellow glitch and it feels pity for the little one facing the cruel reality of how humans treat Glitches or it's because it feels a deeper connection with him and genuinely grants him a wish because he's deserving of it, this is... Well... Interesting for me to analyze further

also I need to see the new Pinocchio since I hear the depiction of Blue Fairy has an interesting interpretation

But what are your thoughts? :BegWan:

{Newbie:}

i mean, i put a lot of my thoughts in the fic i wrote. Forrest -- before he's Forrest -- is the glitch that sprang out from Quotes's bag and nearly killed her in Hoenn, the Voices lash out and toss him into the sea, Jirachi finds this glitch with remnant Voice-energy clinging to it and is like... "if this is an ally, the last thing i want is to abandon it. but if this is an enemy, i should probably have a countermeasure in place". so they turn Forrest into a human (defenseless, powerless on its own, the alternative was a Pokemon that could possibly run amok) and are like "ok, if you can prove you aren't dangerous, i can make you not a glitch. you've got x amount of time until that new body falls apart" and then dumps him in Unova

{Haji:}

I remember this :Burrito1:

{Newbie:}

jirachi shows up early in redux and replaces the bianca tutorial, so it like... seemed appropriate that it would be involved somehow

the fact that it took two separate attempts to catch jirachi gives me some Thoughts about forrest's whole potential-revenge arc. especially with the idea of glitches as corrupted casualties to destroyed worlds.

"you have too much anger in you," the wishmaker says, eyes critical.

forrest balls his fists. the Voices murmur uneasily in his head. "don't you think i have a right to be angry?"

"you do."

"then what's the issue?"

"i said you needed to prove yourself benign." jirachi coils its ribbons around its body, gaze still placid and bored. "you have yet to do that."

"that--"

"you have three months left until that body gives out on you. it seems you have your work cut out for you, host. until then."

there is a brilliant flash of light, bright as burning stardust. when forrest blinks the dots from his eyes, jirachi is gone, and the dreamyard is nothing but mist and empty space and stone walls that echo with the aftermath of an unrealized miracle

something like that, is how i imagine it going :RaccAttack:

{Haji:}

I have no idea why but I just had the random image of

~Three years earlier~

Hughr: [Making a wish on the wishing star. He's going through a bad time right now] Send me a friend who won't run away. Maybe you could send me an angel! The nicest angel you have...

~Cut to later with Quotes getting fucking murdered over here~

Uh.... He'll get there eventually :Keepo:

{Newbie:}

the other idea i'm now having is that Jirachi actually encouraged this and is trying to stoke a conflict between the hosts or something. maybe it thinks the Voices and their allies are getting too much power or something 🤔

{Haji:}

That I could definitely see

Like I said, this thing has NO reason to like us

oh shit, would that explain the PWT and why Forrest has to fight everyone?

{Newbie:}

jirachi teleports people who specifically have info on glitches and reality fuckery and drops them in forrest's path to stoke the fire

and then holds the whole "you're on a timer" thing over his head for even longer 🤔

{Haji:}

Forrest befriends them all, both confusing Jirachi and making it go "Well I guess that works too" because of the benign thing :tppLUL:

YOU LOSE, WISHMAKER

[goliath-de-senfina-sango]

Fathering a Phantom ch2

I just wanna Talk, I swear

Here we have the chapter 2 for that fic from earlier! Once again, here ya go @five-rivers @floralflowerpower and @uwuplasmiusuwu

“Cole I’m going to murder someone,” was the first thing that Toby said to his husband upon arriving once more in their temporary sanctuary. Cole paused mid throw of his javelin, electric sparks crackling up the polearm, and turned to look at his husband. Toby’s wings were ablaze, his nails sharpened into claws, and his eyes a colorful storm, as though he couldn’t decide what to turn into for maximum lethality. Cole set down his javelin and wrapped around Toby in a hug.

“Who are you planning to murder, sunshine? And should I join in? I haven’t gotten into a good fight since we got here, which is a shame.” Cole coalesced from a mass of clouds into something a bit closer to his original body when Toby relaxed in his embrace, running his fingers through shimmering feathers made of embers. “You really do look like a star like this, by the way.”

“There was, I think, a war forged around here who fired a bunch of rockets at a child! You know that liminal kid I told you about?”

“Oh right, we’re rare in this realm, huh?” Cole’s face scrunched up in confusion and he arched a brow. “I thought the liminal around here beat up the tyrant ruling the place when he woke up?”

“I didn’t exactly ask about what must’ve sucked when I half blew up the metalhead.” Toby flew over to the couch and flopped face first into it. “Now I gotta track him down.”

“Why only half? Sounds like someone you’d take out in one go if you had the drop on em.”

“Well, do you wanna traumatize a kid of unknown cultural origins? He’s so small, and his friends were clearly still living humans. I dunno if he’s seen someone die before, let alone a ghost getting Ended. If I recall, committing murder is a bad way to start a friendship with a child.”

Cole snorted and gave Toby a pat on the shoulder. “Alright, fair, Sildar didn’t like me much after that rescue. But hey, now you can put that on your to do list! Murder, the answer to most problems.” Toby laughed, phasing through the couch when Cole sat on him. “There he is, my giggly celestial chandelier.”

“Do you even remember what a chandelier is? I know you broke like three of them over someone’s head, but I forget whose head.” Toby put out the flames in his feathers and stretched, satisfied when his spine popped a few times. “It’s nice to still be able to do that.”

“I’ll be honest, being a cloud has made the sound of your joints popping kinda gross to me. It sounds like you’ve still got a flesh and blood body.” Cole sat up, scratching his head. “Do you still have a humanoid body? With like, meat and bones and stuff?”

“Probably, yeah. We’ll see, cause if so that’ll come in handy with helping out this liminal kid. Said his name is Danny Phantom.” Toby paused, the feeling of his feather being torn an odd and upsetting one. “Speaking of whom, I should go meet up with them. Think you can find this ‘Skulker’ guy while I educate some kids?”

Cole kissed Toby on the cheek and gave him a thumbs up. “Will do! I can’t promise there’ll be much left of him afterward though, I’m not a fan of idiots who attack kids.” Toby smiled and in a flash of light and beat of wings, he was gone. Cole nodded to himself and grabbed his maul, crackling with electric arcs, and opened up the door to their temporary Sanctuary. “Now then, who the fuck is Skulker?”

After having a small debate about where they couldn’t go and why, team Phantom finally ended up at the indoor roller rink that was partially destroyed by a giant ghost crab a while ago, and sat down at a table that Danny cleared of debris with an ectoblast or three. “Ok guys, I think this is a good enough place to call him up.”

“Are we sure it’s a good idea to call him at all?” Sam held up the feather she’d kept in her pocket, turning it about to watch the golden flame dance. “He took down Skulker pretty fast and it usually takes you a good half hour to do that, Danny.”

“Skulker specializes in attacking Danny is all, Sam. We’ve got the weapons to handle pretty much any ghost we normally deal with, and Danny took down the king of ghosts. I’m pretty sure he can handle anyone else.”

“Plus, Toby wrecked Skulker pretty bad. If he wanted to fight, I’m pretty sure he would’ve started a fight.” Danny condensed his ectoblasts into one ball of ectoplasma and stretched it out into a pole. “Imagine all the cool stuff he could show us!”

“Alright, if you say so.” Sam snapped the feather in half, surprised by how easy it was to do, and grabbed her ecto-pistol. For a moment, there was silence. Then the sound of wingbeats filled the room and Toby appeared above the rink as though landing from a long flight.

“That’s a spell I’m not used to casting frequently in a day. Heyo kids!” Toby waved, tucking his wings by his sides while walking closer. “Sorry for the delay, I was talking to my husband. So, names again just to be sure: Sam, Tucker, and Danny, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right. What do you mean spell, exactly? Do ghosts have magic ontop of the other ghost powers now?” Tucker spun the lipstick laser around in his fingers, remembering Desiree’s magic and Freakshow’s staff.

“Anyone who can do magic keeps the ability in death, usually. I’m not dead though, I’m Deathless.” He spread his wings and spun around, thumbs pointing to his chest. “I was born awesome like this, and so was Cole. But, based on your faces you weren’t born like this?”

“No,” Sam said, gesturing at Danny. “This is a recent thing, it’s been since about…” Sam paused, her gaze landing on the wall behind Toby. “March of last year, so 14 months.”

“Yeah, god, we’ve been doing this for over a year now, haven’t we?” Tucker, who had held up a camera to record everything Toby was saying, slumped a bit in his seat and sighed. “Feels like it’s been like this forever and like it happened yesterday.”

Toby stared at them all like they’d each grown extra limbs in odd places – Danny even checked to make sure he hadn’t done that while feeling both old and young at the same time due to how little time had actually passed – before zipping over to Danny and holding his hands just over the teen’s face. “Oh my gods, you’re a baby.”

“I am a teenager, thank you.” Danny gently pulled Toby’s hands away from his face, a brow raised. “What, is 14 infantile to angels, feather man?”

“You’re only 14 months dead, Danny, that makes you a baby ghost.” Sam snorted and Tucker covered his mouth to try and hide his laughter. A snap of Toby’s fingers and flowers began growing in Tucker’s hat, and seeds appeared above Sam, growing into flowers as they fell all over her. “If you’ve had regular interactions with that metal head, no wonder your aura’s all aggro.”

“Skulker’s not exactly the worst of the ghosts we’ve had to fight over the months,” Danny said.

“Oh yeah, that’d have to be either Walker, Spectra, or Vlad. It’s really a toss up between Spectra and Vlad, if you ask me.”

“Vlad wants to kill Danny’s dad because he sees his mom as a trophy that was stolen from him, while Spectra tried to kill Jazz just to depress an entire school so she could feed on the misery to look young.” Sam brushed away the flowers and weighed two in her hands. “Yeah, those around the same level of grossly evil.”

Toby’s wings ignited at some point while Sam was talking, and the sunlight streaming in from the hole in the roof grew somewhat brighter. He reached into a bag he had strapped to his waist and pulled out a book and a pen, his smile all teeth. “Tell me, please, a list of all the adult ghosts who have attacked you children? I’d like to have a discussion with each of them.”

“If we give you their names,” Danny said before Tucker could answer, “do you promise not to go slaughtering them all? I don’t need to know ghostly body language at all to know that flaming wings come from a place of anger and imminent violence.”

“When did you read a thesaurus, Danny?”

“Sam, I’m insulted: I know tri-syllabic words. I can even say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”

“I promise not to slaughter all of the ghosts you inform me hurt you in the past few months, yes. Names?” When Tucker listed off names, Toby wrote them down with an inhuman speed, and Danny exchanged a look with Sam, worried about how exactly that deal might be loopholed around. “Right,” Toby chirped while slamming his book shut, “I’m here to answer some questions of yours, not just ramble about myself and assemble a… list of people to talk to. Got any?”

“So many that I don’t even know where to start.”

[fredheads]

I would like to hear your thoughts about parentdale and the new killers album

thank god i have many!!!!

all the songs about opioid addiction.... enough said on that point

wow i rly thought i could answer this without a read more but i have LOTS TO SAY!!!!!!! everything else under the cut:

quiet town... how it's about the dark underbelly of this small town and how people willfully look away from tragedy and how tragedy manifests itself in that kind of community and how it does or doesnt fit the narrative already scripted for this place... "things like that aint supposed to happen in this quiet town, families are tight, good people still dont deadbolt their doors at night" like shut up!! parentdale... this one to me is about the generational trauma handed down from their own parents and how it repeats itself... and how the narrative of "this is a good town nothing bad can happen here" existed for artie and bunny and prudence and everyone too and some of them (fp) know that was always bullshit but others (fred) were fed the narrative that the good old days were better and bought into that to an extent until they couldnt anymore... its about all the bad shit that happened to them when they were kids and how it was swept under the rug. oscars death comes to mind too...

terrible thing.... would it be unkind of me to call it fps song... i mean really its all of them when they were teens locked away in their bedrooms fucked up and the terrible things they were on the verge of were many (the abortion alice didnt get comes to mind but there were much worse things too) and also the way the first lyric ("the parking lot is rammed with shotgun pickup trucks/ at the jones rubber plant where all the guys end up/beer-drinking boy scouts living life like they ain't stuck") HITS!!! for fredsythe. and its a masterpiece of 'this town is a machine and spits you out into this hopeless mold where you just drink with the boys after working all day' and how thats fps story but also how its subtly about masculinity and the failure to fit that mold is also a failure to live up to a masculine ideal... much to think about.

cody is almost my favorite track off the album I love it so much. there's no character I think of specifically for it but the way Brandon flowers said it was an amalgamation of guys older brothers he knew is making me go batshit feral. "Bottle rockets on an August night/Raid the coolers in the trucks/If we're lucky, we'll get loud and we'll drink/Whiskey from a plastic jug" is excellent parentdale small town tomfoolery imagery too...

when sleepwalker said "everyone is afraid of something even the strongest man alive" that was for hiram lodge 🥺i cant say more its just a feeling

runaway horses can be any of their relationships that almost worked out but did not

in the car outside is another of my favourites FRICCKK the first 2 verses give me halice (especially "She's got this thing where she puts up the walls so high/It doesn't matter how much you love/It doesn't matter how hard you try") and then the 3rd is fremione ("I dropped a line to a flickering high school flame/We laughed about all the ways that our lives had changed/She’s up the road, about thirty-five miles north/Got two little boys in school, just had a real bad divorce/And in a moment of weakness/I told her if she ever needed a helping hand/I would lend, swear to God") wow glory days who... and then "it's like the part of me that's screaming not to jump gets lost in the sound of the train its a lot" ... footloose screaming at trains hours

in another life.... is so deeply parentdale it hurts!! its for all of them realizing they turned out these small town cliches because they didn't have a choice and looking back on all their missed opportunities... ("I passed a couple of kids holding hands in the street tonight/They reminded me of us in another life" could literally be any of them..) ("When that jukebox in the corner/Stops playing country songs of stories that sound like mine" SCREAMS SHUT UP!!! its about class too....) and then the killer... "I spent my best years laying rubber on a factory line I wonder what I would have been in another life" that's FOR FRED ANDREWS BABY! and to an extent artie... like how his father made all these sacrifices for him and might have been anything in another life but fred carries this guilt around.... it runs so deep...

desperate things gives me such bruce springsteen state trooper ballad type vibes but I skip it every time anyway lmfaoooo.... that said...... sierra and tom??? ok....

pressure machine is for all of them!! the way it's about having your hope slowly crushed, ("hope will set your eyes agleam" is them when they were young teens so hopeful.... fp thinking he could be on the football team and pretend to be northside, Penelope thinking she was being adopted by a loving family, alice thinking she could overcome her roots, fred thinking he could play pro ball, etc) growing up in this small town where everyone expects something different of you and you lean into some expectations, you fight against others, but either way your surroundings and upbringing and that pressure forms who you are and then you've lost your innocence and your life is just slipping away faster and faster ... i think this is the best song on the album by far I adore her

and then the getting by ("I know some who've never seen the ocean" ) and these small town people, how there's dignity in this simple living that their parents had and all they can do is get up every day and "hold on till the getting's good" and that's what they've always done... tis parentdale

[kotsuvi]

a month of sundays - part two

pairing: nishinoya x fem!reader (slight oikawa x reader later on)

summary: in a period of stress and tight scheduling, kiyoko asks you to step up as manager for the boy’s volleyball team until she can get back on her feet.  words: 3.4k warnings: swearing, small bit of angst

a/n: this is my third time trying to post this and i’m slightly perturbed. i also really want to work on the mafia fic AND a smau so... we’ll see how things go. 

series masterlist

Kiyoko told Coach Ukai that you had accepted the position, and he was relieved nonetheless. Apparently he assumed you--for whatever reason--were going to say no--which you were--, and he had been panicking to find a replacement. But you hadn’t denied, to both his shock and yours. “Damn,” you mumbled to yourself as you started towards the main gym building. You had changed into your athletic-wear back at home, and although the sun was warm against your back, the breeze was cool, sending goosebumps down your warms. You wished that you had brought a sweater. 

It was your first early morning practice with the boys--your first practice as manager. The thought still terrified you, and as you pushed on those heavy double doors, you reevaluated exactly how good of a situation you were getting in, or how bad. “Heads!” Tanaka shrieked as soon as you stepped inside the gym, and you ducked last minute, narrowly missing the yellow and blue volleyball that rocketed past your head.  “Wanting to obliterate me already?” You straightened, brushing your hair out of your eyes to spot the culprit. The ball bounced off the wall, then skittered across the floor, landing at the feet of a very flustered Asahi. His face reddened as he picked it up. “I’m so sorry!” He exclaimed, his face pinching up in concern. Sugawara chuckled behind him as he practiced his sets, the ball seeming to float above his fingertips.  You laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I think it’s something I’ll have to get used to.” Again. Something you would have to get used to again.

“You trying to rip off her head or something?” Nishinoya yelled from across the court, and Asahi dipped his head. 

“He didn’t mean to,” you chuckled, letting the doors close behind you. Nishinoya threw a ball into the air, then caught it behind his back, his eyes on you. “I knew you’d come back,” he said, a smirk toying at his lips. “You just missed me so much, didn’t you?”

No, no you hadn’t. No, you didn’t know Nishinoya very well. No, you wouldn’t consider yourself friends. Yes, he was annoying, but also shockingly good looking. You hadn’t noticed it at the practice previously, but his figure had changed. He wasn’t much taller, much a couple of inches, but he had filled out a lot more than you liked to admit. His shoulders were broader, biceps tugging at the material of his tight white shirt, and when he rolled out the kinks in his neck the veins above his Adam's apple swelled. You tried not to stare, but it was unexpected, although you knew that the team had started to hit the gym more often recently. Once you had seen Asahi at the bottom of your street when you were getting home from work. He had explained how exhausted everyone was, but he had also expressed how he believed it was going to pay off. 

Clearly it had. 

You rolled your eyes at him. “In your dreams.”

You dropped your things outside one of the office’s, your movements slow and controlled. You were cautious. You were nervous. You were just trying to put one foot in front of the other. You didn’t want to freak out, or to seem like some weird fill-in manager chick who couldn’t keep her act together. You just wanted to make it through, one day at a time. “You ready kid?” Ukai asked, his voice making you flinch. You hadn’t even noticed that he had entered the gym, but you knew what it meant: it was official. Once you started you couldn’t just back down, mostly for the sake of your own pride. The boys would know that you didn’t have the guts, and Kiyoko would know too. She was an amazingly supportive friend, but you didn’t want her to see you break. You had received a text from her over the weekend expressing her gratitude. She wasn’t an overly animated person, so you knew that for her to be so thankful was a big deal. You wouldn’t let her down. 

You spun around to face the coach. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” Ukai cracked a small smile, then flicked his head towards the court. “Almost everyone is here. We’ll wait five minutes, then we’ll get started, okay?” You nodded, not exactly sure what you were going to be ‘starting’ on. But you stood because Ukai, nerves pitting your stomach as you watched the boys. Hinata had an exceptionally impressive vertical, and you silently applauded him each time he went up to the net. Moody had a powerful set as well, one that arched when it needed to and fell when it needed to. On the other side of the net, Nishinoya was digging the balls that Hinata had sent over. He got low, right underneath the ball, and passed them up with beautiful height.

“They’re first-year’s, right?” You asked, gesturing to Hinata and Moody. “Sure are,” Ukai said, nodding with approval. “Good, huh?” “Seems like it,” you mumbled, your eyes flitting through the rest of the boys. Tsukki and another freckled boy were practicing hits and blocks on the left side of the net. Sugawara was up against the wall, stretching out his chest. The rest of the boys were hitting, or passing, or practicing serves. To you, it was actually quite chaotic, but somehow it seemed to work.

“Alright!” Tanaka suddenly yelled, bursting through the doors. “It’s okay guys! I’m here! Not to worry!” “We weren’t asking,” Tsukki said flatly, a bored expression on his face. You wondered exactly what Hana thought was so hot about him. The glasses did do something, but they weren’t it.

“Well now that practice is ruined,” Moody said, earning a hard glare from Tanaka. “It was ruined when you joined the team, Kageyama,” Nishinoya stated proudly, and Moody’s lips drew together in a firm line. So the dark haired boy actually had a name. Kageyama.

“Being a second-year doesn’t give you superiority,” Tsukki said, pushing his glasses up with one knuckle.

“Hell yeah it does!” Nishinoya stated, a smirk tugging at his lips as he tossed his ball in the air again. He bumped it once, then twice, then caught it. His eyes darted over to you, and you gave him a shake of your head. He grinned, facing Tsukki.“You’re jealous.”

Tsukki’s face darkened. “Am not.”

“Okay!” Coach Ukai yelled, breaking them up. He gave you an exasperated look, then waved them over. “Come on. You’re going to meet your new manager.” You gulped at the words. “Do I need a speech?” You asked, trying to play off your nerves. “Every good introduction comes with a speech.” Ukai eyed you. “Kid, this isn’t the election. Relax.” Your cheeks flushed pink as the boys crowded around you, wide grins on their eager faces. You met Nishinoya’s eyes, and he gave you a quick thumb’s up and a wink, but it only made you feel even worse. You knew that he was flirty; you had always known it. He made up for his height in personality and confidence, and he fucking made his presence known. It was one of the things that drew Hana to him most. You wouldn’t exactly call him a player, but he definitely pulled girls. Apparently it was an ongoing joke between him and Tanaka, but you didn’t find it overly funny. He could be a jerk sometimes--if his head got to him. 

But he had caught your eye, both physically meeting your gaze in that very moment, but also metaphorically, many times before.  “So Kiyoko did rope you into it then,” Daichi said, smiling softly. He held a volleyball between his wrist and hip, and he rolled it around his torso once. “She did,” you replied. “Although I don’t know how.” “Aw, have you already picked favourites?” Nishinoya teased, glancing over at Tanaka.   You gave him the eye. “Maybe I’ve just already picked least-favourites.” There was a collective whisper throughout the group. Nishinoya’s lips parted with surprise, but he didn’t reply.

Ukai let out a snort beside you, his arms still crossed tightly over his chest. “Boys, as I was saying,” he said, gesturing to you with a flick of his head, “this is Y/N.” “We know Coach!” Tanaka yelled, his voice booming through the gym. “She was here on Thursday!” Ukai quirked a brow. “And formal introductions aren’t a thing anymore?” “Tanaka wouldn’t know,” Tsukki said. “He has no manners.” “Why you little shi-” “Hey,” Ukai cut them off once more. “Please. Let’s not scare Y/N away already, sound good?” Tanaka continued to glare at Tsukki, but he zipped his lips. The tall blonde just shrugged as if to say I’m right. You were tempted to agree. One time you had Tanaka and Kiyoko over for dinner and Tanaka ate everything with his fingers and didn’t use a napkin. He didn’t even wash his hands afterwards, and your parents weren’t entirely pleased with the greasy finger marks all over their furniture.

“Have you been a manager before?” Hinata asked, his face lighting up. He managed to push himself to the front of the group, and he was looking at you eagerly. He seemed like a little burst of energy; you liked him already. “I haven’t,” you replied. “First time for everything?” “I bet you’ll be gone by tomorrow if Tsukki has anything to say about it,” Hinata said casually, and the blonde narrowed his eyes.

“It seems that everyone is against me today,” he said matter-of-factly. “Maybe it’s because I’m presenting the facts. You see-” “Okay professor,” Nishinoya cut in. “Thanks for the lecture.” Tsukki snorted. “Noya you-” “Boys,” Ukai said, interrupting them for a third time. He turned to you briefly to say “bear with me” before proceeding. “I wanted you to get familiar with Y/N, and for her to get an idea of you and your skills.”

“Skills?” Tsukki let out a snicker, his fist coming up to his lips to stifle his laughter. “What skills?” “Oh so you’re referring to yourself as well then, you dimwit,” Kageyama snapped, and then a collective shouting session started, prompting your jaw to drop slightly. You had never seen a team with so much banter in such a short amount of time. Hell, you had barely been standing there for two minutes and they were already in a blowout. “Enough!” Ukai yelled, uncrossing his arms to swipe them through the air. “That. Is. Enough.” “Sorry Coach,” a few of the boys grumbled, and they all earned a disapproving look from Daichi. “You’re a third-year then, Y/N?” More questions from the redhead. You definitely liked him. “I am,” you replied. “So…” Hinata’s brows pinched together as if he was really trying to figure out the circumstance. “Do you play volleyball?”

You knew the question was coming, and you had braced yourself for it, but there, standing in front of all those boys, you felt unprepared. “Uh-” you started, clearing your throat quickly. “I used to.” “Used to?” Asahi asked quietly. “I didn’t know you played.”

You nodded shyly. “Yeah.” “And you don’t anymore?” Hinata almost looked offended. “Why would you ever want to stop? Volleyball is the best sport in the world.”

You knew that. Hell, you had once told all your teammates the same thing. But that was a lifetime ago. “Damn, you’re a nosy little thing, aren’t you?” Tanaka said, ruffling Hinata’s hair. “She probably had people like you on the team Hinata,” Kayegama said bluntly, and Hinata’s expression deflated. “I wouldn’t blame her for quitting.”

Your body went tense, and you couldn't help the defensive response that swelled up inside you. You hadn’t quit. No, far from it. If you had, you wouldn’t have been standing there in front of all those boys, having them gawk at you and question you to wit’s end. As a harsh reminder, you body crawled with a shoot of pain, starting with your toes. You bit your tongue to hold back a wince.

“I didn’t quit,” you said quickly, your jaw tightening. You hadn’t meant for it to come out so hard, but the boys picked up on it. Hinata quirked a brow, and the corners of Nishinoya’s lips turned down slightly. Daichi continued to roll the ball around his torso, but he exchanged a glance with Suga.   “Y/N doesn’t have to explain anything to us,” Coach Ukai laughed, giving you a quick shake of the shoulder. You were relieved; it appeared as if Hinata was going to continue his interrogation. 

You forced him a smile, shaking away your outburst. “It’s a long story. Maybe for another time.” “We can make that happen,” Nishinoya said, hair flopping as he tipped his head. “Name a place and a time.” You clicked your tongue, but didn’t reply. He was toying with you, it was just what he did. But right there in front of Coach?

You sighed.  “We’ll deal with personal matters later,” Ukai said, giving Nishinoya a look. “For now, just make sure you treat Y/N with respect, and you listen to her like you listen to me, got it? Anything she says, you do it.” You could’ve sworn you heard Nishinoya whisper “kinky” to Tanaka. “Now, let’s show her what you’ve got. Serves!”

“Yes sir!” The boys yelled, and then they split; parting to different areas of the gym. They picked up balls along the way, and then in no time they were sending them across the gym, spiralling over the net. Decent, decent, decent. The boys were good, you would definitely admit it.

You just hoped that they hadn’t picked up on the tenseness of your stance. 

“Not bad,” you said, the words slipping between your lips before you could stop them. “You think so?” Nishinoya said, stepping up beside you, a ball twirling in his hands. You noticed just then--with him so close to you--that he had piercings. Three of them, actually. One stud on his right and two small hoops on the left. That was new. “I bet I could do better.” “Oh really?” You asked, watching as Asahi sent a beautiful ball over the net. In all honesty, you were being awed. “Then why don’t you get out there and show me?” “Please,” Tsukki muttered as he picked up a ball close to your feet. “Shorty can’t serve for shit.” “Shut up Four Eyes!” Nishinoya snapped, flustered. You laughed. “I’m sure you could do it.”

“Oh-” “Or not.”

Nishinoya pursed his lips, still mindlessly spinning the ball in his hands. “Oh, I see how it is.” He paused. “ You said you used to play volleyball?” He raised his brows, then his hands, waving them through the air. “Well I’m sure Tanaka knows. Tana-!” “Shut up!” You whisper-shouted, batting his arms back down to his sides. “Shut up. I haven’t played in ages.” “There a reason for that?” Nishinoya asked, his face pinching with suspicion. From the short amount of time that you had known him, you had become accustomed to his few quirks: the curious look in his eye; the loud mouth; the flirtatious tendencies. He wasn’t easy to miss in a crowd.

“Like I said before,” you said, almost a little too defensively. “It’s a long story.” Nishinoya pretended to check an imaginary watch on his wrist. “Hm, seems like I’ve got time.” “Noya!” Dachi yelled, as if on cue. “Get your lazy ass away from Y/N and start doing something!” Nishinoya tilted his head innocently, then tossed the ball in his hands up into the air. He bumped it up once, twice, three times, never breaking eye contact with Daichi. “What?” He asked sweetly. “But I am doing something Daichi.” Daichi pursed his lips; paused his serve to give Noya a look. “Use your time effectively.” “Always do, Captain.” Nishinoya caught the ball as soon as Daichi turned back around. “He’s uptight sometimes. He needs to live a little.” “Maybe you just need to listen,” you shot back, raising your brows. Nishinoya scoffed. “As if. What did I tell you? I only listen to me, myself and I.” “Noya, practice your digs with some of these serves,” Ukai said as he passed, his eyes scanning through a large stack of papers. “Yes sir,” Nishinoya grumbled, and you let out a laugh, your palm covering your mouth to keep quiet.

“What were you saying?” You called as he sauntered away. “About answering only to yourself?” “Yeah yeah!” He snapped, waving you off. “I get it.”

You grinned as you watched him walk over to the opposing wall. He tossed the ball against it, then bumped it back. Wall, arms. Wall, arms. Wall, arms. The ball made a steady rhythm. “So, kid,” Ukai said, making his way back towards you. “You mentioned you’ve played before?” You nodded. “How much do you know? Or remember.” All of it. Every little detail. You could recite the rules of the game in your sleep; every single play that your team ever did.

“A decent amount,” you replied softly.

“Perfect.”

-

The first practice went relatively smooth, you could agree to that. You had successfully managed to follow through the directions that Ukai had given you, and you actually had some fun. The boys seemed to like you too, which calmed your nerves immensely.

You stumbled out of the gym, freshly changed out of your athletic-wear. Your uniform was spritzed with a small amount of rose scented body mist, just to steer clear from any kind of gross locker room smell. That was about the only thing that you didn’t miss about sports: the change rooms. 

“Well Y/N!” Tanaka exclaimed as you left the gym. “Success?”

You gave a heavy sigh. “Sadly not.”

“What?” Noya--you had decided to take up the nickname—asked, slinging his bag over his shoulder as he caught up with you. “You’re tired of us already?”

“Actually just you,” you replied, deadpan. “I think I’m going to quit.”

He pouted. Yeah, you decided, he was cute. “You shouldn’t,” Tanaka said, his fingers toying with his backpack straps. He wiggled his brows as he talked, and you laughed. “The superiors like you. The peasants like you as well.”

The three of you started across the courtyard. You told Hana not to wait for you before the first period, so there were a few extra moments to spare. You wanted to try and catch up with Kiyoko before she went to her class, but there were a million places she could’ve been. Plus, you weren’t sure if you would even be able to break away from the two boys. They hadn’t shut up since practice had finished. 

Cue: chatter chatter chatter, you never stop talking.

“What class do you have now?” Noya asked, running a hand through his hair, then quickly over his jaw. He looked older than you remember. He would’ve been what? 17? Someone had told you he had an early birthday, so maybe even 18. “World history,” you replied. As if on cue, your bag seemed to get four times heavier, and your back began to ache. You jumped slightly, trying to hoist the bag up higher. “What do you have?”

You started up the steps to your hall. A group of girls rushed past you, all of them complaining about nearly missing their club meeting. From the other end of the courtyard, someone was playing rock music from a mysterious speaker.  The school would probably shut it down within the hour, but the kid had the right kind of spirit. The music wasn’t even half bad. 

“Ethics,” Noya replied, his eyes darting from you to the ground. “Wish I had taken world history.” “No you don’t!” Tanaka yelled, shoving Noya roughly on the shoulder. “It’s bloody hell. All this stuff about who knows what and who did this and who did that. I don’t care, it’s the past.” You grinned. “That’s why you’re failing.” “Am not!” Tanaka argued, tossing a set of keys into the air. Noya attempted to grab them when they were thrown again, but he was unsuccessful.

You were in class 4 and Tanaka was in class 2. You didn’t really ever walk with him to class, but every once in a while it happened, and every once in a while Nishinoya had tagged along. You enjoyed those moments. Noya was easy to get along with; playful and charming, with a decent sense of humour. You couldn’t help but watch him out of the corner of your eye as he spoke. He had an aura about him, one that made his ego almost suffocating. You didn’t mind so much because it was him, but you knew of another particular person that just happened to inflict their ego heavily on the crowd. You had fallen victim to this particular person more than once.

You shook off the thought.

“I’m only down the hall,” Noya said, tugging at the collar of his uniform. The first few buttons at the top were undone, and the tie was loose. Tanaka’s looked exactly the same, but you weren’t watching him nearly as intently as you were watching Noya.

You tried laughing it off. “Well thank God for that then, right? Any danger and I’ll know exactly who to call.” Noya winked. “Oh you bet. I’ll be waiting.” “I was going to say Ghostbusters.” Tanaka frowned. “I would call Ghostbusters.” “Of course you would Tanaka,” Noya said cheerily, slapping the tall boy across the back of the head. “You’ve got absolutely zero common sense!” “Says the kid that’s always in detention!” Tanaka defended, crossing his arms tightly. “Me being in detention has nothing to do with my grades.” Tanaka gave you a knowing look at you and you bit back your laugh. “Whatever you say,” he replied. “Detention huh?” You questioned as you stepped into the hall. Your classroom was right at the end, and you ducked and weaved under arms and over bags. Everyone was pushing and shouting and laughing with one another, and it almost made it hard to hear. Noya did the same, dodging oncoming students, one hand tugging at his dual-toned locks. Tanaka just shrieked at them to move.   “Only every couple of weeks,” Noya said, shrugging like it was nothing. He then stuffed his hands into his pockets, looking over at you with a glint of achievement in his eye. “Why? You like bad boys Y/N?” You felt the colour rise to your cheeks and you dropped your gaze. “Of course.” You tried to play along. “Wouldn’t want them any other way.”

“You’re the exception,” Tanaka stated proudly to Noya, who rolled his eyes.

You neared your classroom and you slowed. Noya did the same, but Tanaka plowed forward, not even noticing that you had stopped. “This is me,” you said, flicking your head towards the door. Noya glanced inside, then over at you, a smirk toying at his lips. “Well, you know where to find me,” he said, pulling a hand out of his pocket to salute you casually. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

[phantomrose96]

new episode. new liveblog. new episode. new liveblog.

Giyuu in the cold-open scene: -does absolutely nothing- me: Oh. Oh fantastic. I’m so glad you’re back. Oh I’d die for you.

The outfits are so goddamn pretty in this show. And Shinobu’s is the new reigning champion of “fuck thats pretty”

Spider-Dad fucking skipped Inosuke across the water. 3 times. like a rock

Yeah uh.... Inosuke acknowledging he’s injured must mean he’s truly fucked.

Inosuke is running away while waist-deep in the water. That’s like the HARDEST way to run away. Get on land with Tanjiro you moron.

Team Rocket Tanjiro is blasting off again

Like Spider-Dad just home-runned him outta the fucking forest. With a cut-down tree. The Kimetsu fight dynamics are fucking wild.

Tanjiro: “Inosuke, don’t die until I get back!” Inosuke: “...” Inosuke: “...” Inosuke: “Wonder why Kentaro wants me to die once he gets back.”

me prior to this episode: “I think that Riu spider kid is the actual member of the twelve demon moons.” Tanjiro: “Be careful Inosuke that Spider Dad is the Twelve Moon Member!” me, genre-savvy and aware of what misdirection is: “Okay so Riu is DEFINITELY the Twelve Moon member”

Yall I’m still wildly emo about Zenitsu being left to just... die alone... doing his best to resist the poison but like, fuck what can he even do beyond just lie there and hope? I’m really emo. Last episode fucked me up.

FUCK that’s a pretty aesthetic.

They’re really doing the MOST with that full moon. Like the full moon serves the functional purpose of letting the MadLad trio actually see and fight at night in the forest. But aesthetically? the most.

Shinobu: Yoo hoo? Hey buddy u fucking ded?

Kentaro’s out here pissing off powerful demons cuz he can’t keep his opinions about family to himself.

Generic looking background character: -appears- me: Oh he’s absolutely dead.

Tanjiro, seeing his 8th Extremely Traumatizing thing of the day: “I need a new job”

The way they’re playing with color to make Riu balls-to-the-walls terrifying is just... really good.

The slow and staggered creep of the camera, the music swell, the colors. Its all really good.

Inosuke:

Inosuke’s brain: 

THE FUCKING POP NOISE WHEN INOSUKE REALIZES “hey wait why the FUCK am i running away?”

THEY FUCKING GAVE HIM DENSER LINES. AND FROZE HIM IN PLACE. FUCKING POP. FUCKING NYOOM.

Inosuke, using his one sword to hammer in his other sword: I beat a mother-fucker with another mother-fucker

THE MOST. SELF-AWARE DUMBASS. NOTHING BUT RESPECT FOR IDIOCY THAT KNOWS ITS OWN IDIOCY.

He can’t READ.

Inosuke has two swords.

Tanjiro vs. Riu set to Undertale’s ‘Spider Dance’ track 

“What doesn’t hurt, doesn’t hurt!” Inosuke... honey.... that’s not healthy...

Fun fact that was revealed earlier in the manga but not translated to the anime: Inosuke’s ability to ‘sense’ out the location of enemies is due to his superior sense of touch. Complementing Tanjiro’s sense of smell, and Zenitsu’s hearing.

the blood smudge on Inosuke’s boar mask looks kinda like the typical anime blush marks, and when we only see his left half of his face it throws me every time

Inosuke literally every moment since his introduction: I’m the best! No one can beat me! I’ll fight anyone! I’ll fight you! I’ll fight your dog! I’ll fight myself! I’m never injured and I’m never hurt and I’m never tired! Anything Monjiro can do I can do even better! There’s no way to beat me in a fight and I’ll never surrender! Inosuke... in this episode:

I’m fucked up all over again...

First Zenitsu now Inosuke

And with Zenitsu it’s at least... expected of his character to want to give up. Not Inosuke. Never Inosuke. That’s fucked up. I’m fucked up. 

Again the color palette. This time the desaturation is what just... drives home the feeling of hopelessness. It’s so good.

Tanjiro: “Whatever you do, don’t die Inosuke” me, clutching my heart: “fuck”

Hey y’know extra sad how all the people who have ever cared about Inosuke, who flash before his eyes while he’s dying, are people we’ve met in series. Inosuke really went 15 straight years of his life with no one ever giving a damn about him.

Inosuke: “No... actually, I WONT lose! I wont! come at me monster!” Spider-dad: -punts Inosuke like a pinball across three separate trees-

It’s like the rock-skipping-across-water but now so much more painful.

He’s literally.... crushing Inosuke’s skull... in order to kill him... Inosuke’s been training specifically to toughen his head... Because he’s mad Tanjiro was able to knock him out with a headbutt... Inosuke might survive SPECIFICALLY because of that dumb grudge... I’m emo again.

His big pretty green eyes are still... funny.

He’s so so young in this it left me wondering “how does Inosuke remember the name his mother gave him” .... and then i remembered:

His name’s written on his fucking underwear. It’s the only piece of identity his mother left him... Fuck.

This leads me to two conclusions: 

1) Inosuke must have transferred his name - despite not even being able to read the words - onto all his clothing since then. 

2) He must have, at some point, asked someone who can read to tell him what it says...

Inosuke, moments from death, remembering the image of his mother’s face for the first time: Who... who are you? me, bawling: you’re supposed to be the comic relief.

fuck YES IT’S GIYUU TIME.

Tomioka “Cool guys don’t look at explosions” Giyuu

Inosuke: “I’ve never seen anyone as cool as this guy.” me: “bitch me too, the fuck.”

Please I just want Giyuu to stick around. If anything, as the only real adult. Also because he’s really fucking cool and I have a type. 

Inosuke: -attacks Spider-Dad earlier in the ep- Inosuke: -his blades snap- me: :0  Tanjiro: -attacks Riu’s spider thread- Tanjiro: -his blade snaps- me:

<:0 !!!!!!!!

[thephantomofthe-internet]

Homeward Bound : Chapter 10

Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader, Billy Hargrove x Henderson!Reader

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13

Chapter Summary: It’s like the Breakfast Club! But lamer...

Word Count: 3,739

Warnings: Swearing, awkwardness, THE BABIES ARE HERE!!!

Author’s Note: Gotta keep up with Amanda, don’t I? 😉

Permanent Tag: @hotstuffhargrove @denimjacketkisses @hargrovesgoldilocks @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @hipsmcgee @thatchickvic

Series Tag: @baebee35 @moonstruckhargrove @kurt-nightcrawler @supernatural-pants @thoughstofaredhead @bby-becca @fear-the-reaper115 @estheflowergirl

You looked up with a grimace. Steve Harrington was standing over you in all his fluffy haired glory, being an absolute dick, as per usual.

“I highly disagree.” You snapped, pulling his arm off you “What the hell are you doing here anyway, what you got an APB out on me now?”

Steve’s demeanour deflated instantly, stepping back, hands finding their way into his front pockets, shoulders hunching slightly. “It’s the last day of school, somebody has to do the annual ‘threaten kids into not being assholes’ speech.” He explained.

“They still do that?” you asked, letting your guard down just for a second.

“Unfortunately, and apparently it’s a rite of passage to do the speech. Which means this year I got spit balls shot at me and paper balls lobed at my head by snot nose kids.” He replied.

“Oh the irony, you used to do that all through high school, especially when it was Callahan doing the talking.” Nancy said, knocking her shoulder into his. Steve smiled, pulling her into a tight hug.

“Hey, Steve.” She said softly into his shoulder. They both looked highly emotional, a strange sight for you. You remembered when she couldn’t stand being in a room with him and he was still just trying to prove that he wasn’t still in love with her, to no avail. And while that went away with time, they never seemed exactly close.

“I didn’t know you were coming in today, I thought it was tomorrow.” He replied, pushing her back slightly by the shoulders, looking her over “How’s Sybs?”

“Good, thank you again for the gift for her, you’re two months early, but she looks adorable in the bunny suit and it’s the only thing she’ll stay asleep in now.” Nancy replied with a smile.

“Good, I’m glad.” He replied. “Your mother must love the attention and the full house again, how’s she getting along with Jonathan? Or did he end up staying back?”

“Jonathan is visiting with his mom; he’ll come down with them later in the week.” She replied easily.

“They still hate each other?” you asked, popping a stick of white chewing gum into your mouth, grinning cheekily at her.

Steve rolled his eyes “You’re just gonna ask that like it isn’t rude, huh? He asked disappointedly “’Cause you know, it doesn’t really matter anymore. They’re married and Karen’s just gonna to deal. Besides, they can’t be that petty as to-”

“They absolutely hate each other. Jonathan wouldn’t come down with me to stay with her; he’s still trying to find a way to not have to stay with her when he gets here.” Nancy replied breezily with a shrug.

“Ha! I knew it!” you cried, grinning like a fool.

“You always gotta be right, Y/N?” Steve asked. You turned to look at him, ready to retort with sass and anger. But he wasn’t cocky or annoyed, he was trying to hold back a grin; his eyes shining with mirth. Nothing about him was confrontational and the need to fight back drained from your body.

“When you’re around, Harrington, I’m always right.” You replied, a small smirk slipping onto your lips. And looking at you, relaxed and bright and joking again, Steve felt his whole body warm and glow. He didn’t release how cold and uncomfortable he was until you smiled; your body language could change his whole disposition and your smile could light up a whole room.

“So wait what are we doing here? Just wandering? ‘Cause I have no one here I need to see, except Mike but I’m not gonna pull him out of class, you know?” Nancy asked.

“Well, I’m hiding from Hargrove. I can’t get caught by him without Dustin or else I’ll get dragged into his truck.” You replied.

“He’s following you around?” Steve asked, tone hostile and worrisome, his whole body lifting to appear more physically opposing.

“No more than you are.” You replied, watching him deflate like a popped balloon. “He just saw me outside the school and decided that he had the time to try to get me in his truck. Probably not something he should be doing while on the clock.”

“He’s definitely got the time, since he’s on probation.” he replied. You cocked your brow, utterly lost, expecting clarification. “Powell caught him driving around drunk a couple months ago, Mr. Sherman put him on probation since it was in the truck. Powell never booked him on it because, according to him, the lost wages should be more than enough punishment. He’s got another week of forced time off before he’s back in.” Steve explained.

Nancy furrowed her brow “Why not just fire him then?” she asked.

“We’re short on mechanics. Usually we get a couple kids from the trade school Milton, but they opened a new shop in Carmel and so we didn’t get many kids up here. Mr. Sherman’s short a man and without Billy, he’ll be down to just him and George Burns.” Steve replied.

You hummed “Billy didn’t mention that…” you said, not really to them but more to yourself.

Billy was never the most honest guy on the block, but he owned up to his fuck ups fairly quickly, usually without being pressed or even asked. He owned up to still not getting along with Max and Susan, his dislike still very apparent. He owned up to not going home in part because he was scared. Hell, he owned up to supposedly still being in love with you! But this, this almost expected thing was hidden from you. You wondered what else he was hiding.

“I don’t know, I mean its Hargrove, he’s not much of a talker.” Nancy said reasonably, smiling sympathetically at you.

“Besides, he probably didn’t want to be doing much talker. Or have the time, I should say.” Steve said, his tone forcefully light and more than a little bitter.

Nancy gasped “You told him?!?” she cried, earning an awkward chuckle from Steve and an eye roll from you.

“He picked me up this morning. I had to tell someone or else I would explode from shame, embarrassment, and the giddiness of a secret.” You replied.

“He picked you up?” Nancy asked “And you didn’t tell me?”

“What exactly is there to tell, Nance? He picked me up, we had breakfast, and then he drove me home. Not exactly rocket science.” You replied, watching her carefully.

“Right, right of course…” she said, nodding quickly, her mind obviously running through a million scenarios. “So…how’d it go? You have fun?” she asked, a little twitchy and excited, far too excited for the subject at hand.

“It was fine. Like I said nothing major, right Steve?” you said, making Nancy jump. She’d forgotten he was there. Steve muffled a laugh, watching her curiously.

“Yeah,” he said, a tiny giggle popping out at the end of the word, forcing him to swallow his giggles, finding a stern face. “Yeah, fine. Are you alright, Nance, you’re really jumpy.”

“Fucking hormones man…I have the memory and foresight of a fucking goldfish…” she  muttered, shaking her head wearily.

You giggled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders “Ah, Mrs. Nancy Byers-Wheeler, you are too fun to bug. Truly, you should be pregnant all the time, it makes it more fun for me. I get to be the smart one.” You said.

“I am still the smarter of the two of us, even with a baby stealing my brain cells.” Nancy frowned, annoyance evident in the heavy line creasing the centre of her forehead.

“I know, my dearest darling, I know.” You replied, making her smile again and sharing it with her.

“Hey! What the hell are you doing?” Steve called at a flock of teenagers in the hall a few feet away. You almost didn’t recognize them.

Max, Lucas, Mike, Dustin, and a girl you could only label as Marcy were all ahead of you, loitering around as the girl you’d labelled Marcy scratched something into the wall.

Mike, significantly taller but somehow not the tallest of the group, turned to find the sound and, without registering the whole of your little band, turned back to his friends and yelled “Scatter!”

You stepped forward, holding Steve back as you replied “Chill, Wheeler, nobody’s gonna tell on you.” Max turned back to look at you, roll her eyes as she grabbed Mike by the back of the shirt collar.

“Chill, dipshit, it’s just Steve and…is that you, Henderson? Jesus you turned into a hippie.” She said, earning a collective sigh from the group.

I haven’t had time to cut it, been busy.” You replied, walking over to the group to muffle her red hair, chopped almost completely off into a red pixie cut, mirroring Mia Farrow from Rosemary’s Baby. “Ugh, don’t mess with it, it took morning to get it to look this good.” She moaned, pushing your hand

“And it still looks like shit.” Lucas joked. Overall, he’d changed the most. While Mike had gotten taller, he still looked a little like an elf and was still too pale, and Max was still freckled and tiny, boyish save for her well done makeup, clearly a way to remind the world that she was still in fact a girl. Lucas was the most mature looking-the tallest of the group and the strongest. Dustin had said he’d taken up the helm of being the group’s sports star, captaining the basketball team in Steve’s place. His hair was still cropped short and his smile was still kind, but awkward. Underneath it all, he still seemed to be the little, awkward, logical boy you’d left in Hawkins with bad clothes and a worse relationship with his little sister, now a eighth grader.

“That’s not what you said earlier.” Max replied, eyeing him up. You cringed at their little routine, still virgining in their attempts at adulthood.

Mike was looking at you all, gobsmacked to see everyone all at once. “Nancy?” he asked, finding his sister in the group. “Jesus Christ what’re you doing here? Mom’s gonna kill you and the baby.”

“Language, Mike! Sybil is picking up on words now!” she cried.

“She’s not here now, is she?” he shot back and the two fell into a stream of bickering.

“Yeah well…it looked better then…” Lucas tried, awkward and strained.

“Y/N! What’re you doing here?” Dustin asked, pushing his way to the front of the group, clearly embarrassed.

“We were bored, decided to loiter inside the school instead of outside.” You replied with a shrug.

“And you are?” a female voice asked, high and tight. The supposed Marcy had stepped forward, hands on her hips and chest stuck out. If you were her age, this would turn into a girl fight, forcing strained seduction and quick backhanded acts of kindness.

“Hey, I’m Y/N,” you said, sticking out a hand for her to shake, which she looked at with a scowl. “I’m Dustin’s older sister.” You added. Quickly, her demeanour changed; she deflated, looking away with a sort of embarrassed inward cringe, shaking her head.

She huffed out a sigh, taking your hand and shaking it weakly “Hi…I’m Marcy, Dustin’s friend.” She said.

“I thought as much, I’ve heard a lot about you.” You replied with an easy smile, trying to urge her on. She looked uncomfortable, feigning toughness in dark clothes and a scowl painted dark purple, emphasizing the thickness of her lips. It all looked like what your mother would call an attempt to muffle your beauty, a form of dazzle camouflage that was meant to distract and scare away, not invite in. You understood her, you were her when you were her age.

“Really?” she asked, a small smile pulling at the corners of her pursed mouth, trying in vain not to smile.

“Yeah, you pop up in more letters than anyone else, well maybe anyone except Steve over here, he takes first place.” You replied, watching both Steve and Dustin cower away, watching you horrified and nervous.

“Y/N, that’s enough.” Dustin said, eyes flicking between you and Marcy, too nervous to look at either of you fully. You tried to sympathize; you didn’t want to be like your mother and embarrass him, but if it’s that easy to embarrass him then you didn’t know how to really communicate with this poor girl.

“That’s cool.” Marcy announced, the evidence of a smile on her eyes and cheeks, her mouth still holding firm despite the lilt in her voice.

“So, what does he say about me?” Steve asked nervously, shifting his weight between feet. Dustin looked at him curiously and a silent look was exchanged; Dustin confused and Steve trying to seem calm as his mind raced with possibilities.

“I mean…nothing major, he mostly just mentions you every time he talks about friends or hanging out.” You replied with a shrug, not registering his tense body language he was displaying.

“Really? Nothing else?” he asked, eyes darting around the hall.

“Not really, I mean, I didn’t even know you were a cop, remember? He’s not great with details.” You replied, watching him curiously. Steve seemed to be calming down, though his nerves were still ragged and raw and now very obvious to you. “You know, if this questioning is going to continue, I’m going to need a lawyer.” You said with a smile, nudging his shoulder. He smiled, though the twitchy energy wasn’t fading.

“Guys,” Marcy called, having gone back to examine her work, her scratchy letters spelling out ‘fuck school’ surely to be cover by paint or simply more scratches before the beginning of the school year. “I gotta get going, Andy’s gonna be here soon, I’ll catch you around, yeah?”

“Yeah, you still looking for a job in town?” Dustin asked, picking up her bag off the floor.

“Got an interview at Darlene’s Dress Shop at the mall, if all goes to plan I won’t be looking by Monday!” She replied, running down the hall without another word. Max rolled her eyes, sending her a half hearted wave.

“Bye Marce…” She muttered, a scowl making lines around her mouth. Lucas rubbed her shoulder gently, shaking his head.

“She’s not worth it, M&M…” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Guys! She had our hall passes! We gotta go!” Mike cried, trying to run off again, only to be grabbed by Nancy, forcing him back.

“It’s the last day of school, exams start Wednesday. Relax, you won’t get detention.” Nancy said softly. Mike nodded, his breathing shaky. Mike seemed to have gotten the worst of the anxiety, or at least the most obvious. Dustin had mentioned he’d turned into a bit of a square but you didn’t see it. He just seemed stressed out, a nervous twinge to his movement, a dart in his eyes. Hawkins obviously wasn’t helping him.

“And besides, if they even tried we’d come and break you out. They can’t hold you here, you’re graduating in a week!” Dustin added, wrapping a careful arm around the lanky boy’s shoulders, squeezing him too tight.

“That’s not encouraging, dude.” Mike replied, his face scrunching from the uncomfortable squeeze, pushing away.

“Well, how about then we get out of here? Can’t get detention if you aren’t in the building.” You offered.

“Yes, you can. We tried that, they just call home.” Mike retorted, crossing his skinny arms over his chest.

“Anybody else?” You asked, turning your attention to the others, already grabbing their bags off the floor. They nodded, heading down the hall. You motioned for Steve and Nancy to follow them, leaving Mike behind.

“Aw Jesus Christ wait up you assholes!” Mike cried, running to catch up with the rest of you. As it turns out, peer pressure and a bit of motherly coaxing still worked on him. You restrained yourself from laughing at him, his shaggy hair bouncing with every bound.

“Where are we even going?” He whined, eyes darting around for some mythical hall monitor or camera waiting to catch him.

“Well, I only have one request for you all, and then you can go wherever you want.” You replied with a shrug.

“We’re going to Scoops after this, its tradition, dumbass.” Max added, brushing her bangs off her face and holding out her palm to you, silently asking for gum. You complied easily, digging around in your purse for the pack and a pen as you found your way back into the front hall and in front of that mural.

You pulled the visitor pass from your pocket and handed it to Steve, motioning for Nancy to do the same. “Go and return these for us and keep Rhonda busy for a minute, okay?” you asked.

“What, why?” he countered, taking the polyester lanyards.

“Because I’m about to get the kids to commit a minor criminal offence and you’re a cop. So go away. You heard nothing.” You replied, pushing him towards the office door. Steve complied, heading into the office like a child forced to say hello to their kissy aunt.

“Alright,” you announced with a clap of your hands “Before you leave this place forever, I think it’s important to leave behind a legacy. Yearbooks get forgotten, photos get switched out, but with a single act of defiance we can leave a message that might last a bit longer.” You pulled the small card from the mess of school spirit themed messages.

“This has been up since I graduated, they never change this board and so you’re message will last as long as the board does.” You explained, showing them the card, the back of which gave the old guidance counsellor’s information for parent use, handed to you with a worried expression that same day.

You wrote the message out of defiance and anger.

Mrs. Donaldson had declared that you should return to high school for a year, do the victory lap to make you truly ready for college life. The idea that you weren’t ready made your blood boil; you were ready as you could ever be. She didn’t understand-after what you’d seen you could handle anything.

“I just think, after the year you’ve had, you deserve a redo.” She said, folding her hands neatly in the centre of the desk, her giant square rimmed glasses slipping down her nose.

“Do I have the marks for college?” you asked boredly, eyeing the teen psychology posters lining the walls with a grimace.

“Well yes, but after Heather’s-” she began, watching anxiously as your bored expression switched into an angry one. She silently braced herself for the explosion.

“What the hell does Heather have to do with me going to college?” you snapped.

“I just think that after Heather’s death you-” Mrs. Donaldson tried, but the cause was lost and you were already on your feet, throwing your half-empty bag on your shoulder, forcing the chair back up to the desk.

“I think Heather’s death has nothing to do with my success and that you trying to use it to keep me here is bullshit. I know who you’re working for and I know that all of this is some sort of scheme to get me. I’m going to college and that’s final.” You snapped.

Mrs, Donaldson sighed, pulling off her glasses and rubbing the bridge of her nose “Just take the card, Y/N.” she said, sliding the neatly printing card across the desk. And, for some reason, you took it.

You had planned to just throw it out and move on with your life. But as you sat on one of the cool metal benches outside the office, an idea slowly revealed itself.

You only had one pen on you, the purple gel pen that always left huge ink blots on everything, but you had to try. The message was clear in your head and came out easily, the pen never splotching. In that brief moment, you believed in fate and magic. It was probably just chance, but you were in the position to believe in such things because the world around you had changed so much that believing in something like fate or luck made as much sense as everything else happening around you.

You let your eyes flick to the head secretary, who was thankfully preoccupied with a magazine and carton of chocolates. You stood from the bench, trying to move as casually as you could over to the bulletin board, pretending to examine its worn news clippings and Polaroid’s. You chose the largest spot of white, up in the right hand corner and, snatching out a snapshot of Heather herself, replaced the photo with note.

‘Don’t let them make you forget things for their benefit. Remember pain. Remember embarrassment. Remember Heather Macpherson.’

“I think it’s only fitting that the third generation of fucked up kids leave theirs behind. Now, this has to be done carefully as to not draw attention to it, you can’t just write in on the bottom of a photo, okay? Do it together, write in on something, and leave your mark.” You told them. You made it feel like another mission, but the way they smiled and looked to one another. They huddled together and whispered wildly, just like they did as children. It would’ve been sweet if the context of all those huddles weren’t tattooed to your mind.

Mike had ripped off a piece of manila envelope and handed it to Lucas, who you assumed had the best handwriting. Dustin seemed to be the only one with a pen and Max was used as a makeshift desk. The note, when finished, was pinned up with a collection of very old yellowed photos. You herded them off and nodded to Steve, who headed out of the office, leaving Rhonda with her whole face lit up.

You remained at the board, wondering how long their note would last. Steve came up behind you, though this time it didn’t startle you this time.

“What they write?” he asked, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You pointed out the tiny note.

The Russian girl lives.

“I mean, not entirely incorrect…” Steve said, a trying smile on his face, looking for something positive to say.

“It’s stupid.” You said, laughing just a little. Steve looked at you, taking in your easy smile and relaxed posture.

“Yeah…yeah it is. Come on, before they realize you’re laughing at them.” He replied, grabbing your hand and pulling you out the door, giggling like school children.

[larrytrainor]

who's your fave yj character? mines Jaime Reyes !

AHHHHHHH I LOVE JAIME!!! He’s so good and his Blue Beetle powers are sooo cool! Spanish is my first language so any time he says something in spanish I go !!!!!!!! Man I wish we’d see more of him in Season 3...I hope he’s in more scenes in the second half of the season although I understand that he already had a big chunk in season 2 dedicated to him but still 😔

IT IS SO DIFFICULT FOR ME TO PICK A FAVORITE I seriously love them all so much. Young Justice is so important to me 😭 Rambling.....I love how far Dick has come and how much he’s grown even though I’m still fond of his sneaky funnyman behavior in season one pfff. I know he’s coping right now with a horrible loss, and I’m proud of him for staying strong. Artemis is so powerful!! And she doesn’t let her family ties define her....I’m so proud of her. She is still moving forward despite the immense loss and sadness she feels. Kaldur risked so much for the sake of his team in season 2, and he was such an incredible team leader in season 1 [re: its not his fault that the team has NO IDEA what a goddamn recon/sneak mission means....sigh] and I am so happy he’s the Justice League leader now and has also picked up the Aquaman mantle! Wonder Girl and Zatanna and Rocket and Bumblebee and Spoiler and Orphan and Arrowette and Halo and Oracle are each individually so cool and so different and so dear to me. Megan no longer fears herself or her real form and doesn’t worry about her friends and loved ones rejecting her for that and that is so goddamn inspiring. She is so cute too! Connor was a ball of rage and he felt like he was living in the shadow of Superman and also did NOT know the meaning of teamwork. I felt all of this at some point in my life LOL and he’s grown and become his own person and hell, so have I! Tim is a leader now! He got past his fears and pushed forward, working hard. Beast Boy lost so much of his family and close ones and doesn’t even get to live with his big sister cuz that bitch Mento is exploiting him for money in his tv show but he’s broken free of that and is rejoining the team in season 3 part 2 and I’m so relieved. I love Forager and Brion and Victor and Wolf and Sphere and even the Bioship very much too :] Bart Allen came all the way to the past to change the future, knowing that he wouldn’t get to go back to even know if he’s fixed things or not....he’s a very selfless person. Roy Harper and Will Harper have probably come the furthest in growth, though. One was iced for 8 years, the other existed as a clone during that time without even knowing it. Now Roy has mellowed out and accepted people into his life again, and Will has gotten through his heavy guilt and has a family. Wally [bursts into tears] was like my first favorite character all those years ago when it first aired. I think out of all of them I relate to him the most honestly. He was fun and outgoing and funny and loving and caring and loved food but he also had a lot of layers and depth and walls up that was all just hidden because of that “heehee I’m clowning” front.....I refuse to believe he’s dead there is no way they could ever permanently get rid of him. I also love all the Justice League members that show up in Young Justice like Batman and Black Canary and Red Tornado! I just fucking [clenches fist] am so full of love.

[mst3kproject]

108: Project Moon Base

Saying ‘fuck this movie’ doesn’t seem like enough, really.  Please take a moment and picture the full Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing it to the tune of Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus.  That should about do it.  I’m gonna say ‘fuck’ an awful lot in this review, like even more than I usually do. I really hate this movie.

This was a very moon episode.  After a couple of dull and suspenseless episodes of Radar Men from the Moon, we get on to Project Moon Base.  In the far future year of 1970, the Enemies of Freedom are working to destroy the UN’s space program.  To do this, they kidnap a Dr. Wernher and replace him with a lookalike, who is ordered to go to the atomic-armed space station and destroy it in a suicide mission. He’ll have crew-mates on his rocket, though – and Major Moore and space program legend Colonel Briteis aren’t going to let him complete his mission without a fight.

Wow, space spy capers and secret plots!  It sounds so exciting when I write it down!  Too bad this movie is actually so dismally fucking cheap and boring.  The KGB apparently works out of a nicely decorated living room somewhere, and the Spacom offices aren’t much better.  Everything is bare walls, clean tables and desks, and giant clocks on the walls, and none of it resembles a place people actually work in.  The actors all look like they’d really prefer to be anywhere else and recite their lines at a fast clip that suggests they’re just trying to get this ordeal over with. Given the characters they were being asked to play, I feel for them.

And then there’s the stuff that’s just fucking surreal, like the skullcaps or propane-tank-headed spacesuits that wouldn’t have been out of place in an episode of Rocky Jones: Space Ranger. Or the fact that the first ‘suspicious’ thing the fake Dr. Wernher does is support the wrong baseball team.  Or the annoying reporter whose name is Polly Prattles (I guess to imply that she endlessly ‘parrots’ everything she’s told?) and who dresses like a disco ball!

About the only thing that really earns any points is that the effects people made a commendable effort to be realistic.  Stuff like the lunar rocket and the frisbee-shaped space station are intended to look practical rather than future-y, and there’s a discussion of orbital mechanics (though it’s confusing and useless to the plot).  Navigation information refers to bright stars like Fomalhaut and Polaris.  Microgravity is mentioned and there’s even a pretty neat shot where characters walk on the ceilings with magnetic-soled boots!  I’m also impressed that they actually filmed some miniatures for their rocket takeoff scene, instead of using the same stock footage we’ve seen in fifty other films.

That’s only a fraction of the movie, though.  The other ninety-eight percent or so I absolutely despise from the very bottom of whatever twisted black abomination remains of my soul, and the reason why is the fucking characters.

The first characters we meet are the villains, although calling them ‘characters’ seems like a stretch.  I’m not entirely sure who any of these people are or who they’re working for… I’m gonna keep calling them the KGB for lack of a better descriptor.  They’re bland men in bland suits who behave as if destroying the capitalist west is just their day job – the bald bellhop guy may say it’s a twenty-four-hour job, but I bet these guys are out of that hotel room the moment the clock clicks to five pm.  Even the guy posing as Dr. Wernher isn’t very interesting.  Shouldn’t at least one of these people have some kind of motivation besides getting paid to do this?  What happened to revenge, or fanatical loyalty to an ideal, or desperation to protect a family who’ll be killed if you don’t comply?

Weirdly, it’s the fake Dr. Wernher who is the closest thing we’re given to a POV character!  We follow him into the hotel to take over from the real scientist, and them learn about the space program in tandem with him.  If not for the opening crawl I’d be wondering if we’re supposed to root for this guy.

Our so-called ‘heroes’ have some more personality, but those personalities are the furthest thing from likable. First there’s Major Moore, a big sulky baby whose masculinity is threatened by Briteis outranking him.  When he finds out he’s been cut from the mission in her favour he whines, and when he finds out he’s been assigned as her co-pilot he whines more because now he’s got to take orders from her.  At the end when they marry, he is promoted to Brigadier General mostly so that he’ll outrank his wife!

Briteis herself is no better – we see a few sides of her and they’re all terrible.  She pisses and moans about not wanting to interact with Moore, either, and then engages in passive-aggressive dick-measuring contests with him while the two of them are supposed to be flying a spacecraft and saving the free world.  You almost can’t blame him for his jealousy when she takes every possible opportunity to rub things in his face.  When things go wrong she manages to land on the moon, but then becomes a breathless damsel in distress, leaving Moore to make all the decisions… and then when they’re saved, she reverts right back to whining.

(Yes, by the way, the non-MST3K edit does show them actually landing, and no, it's not very exciting.)

The General in charge of these two is an ass, as well.  He basically guilts Moore into accepting an assignment he doesn’t want, and when Briteis protests it as well, he tells her to shut up and then threatens to spank her.  These people are supposed to be members of the military, an organization that is associated with rigid discipline, efficient organization, and a strict chain of command, and yet they display less professionalism than kids at a lemonade stand.  Jesus Christ, how about we just let the bad guys take over the world?  They at least have some fucking dignity.

The moment we discover Briteis is a woman is supposed to be a big surprise, since the characters have carefully avoided any gendered language so far – this seems to hint that we are looking at a future where equality of the sexes has been achieved, but what we see after that quickly disabuses us of the notion.  Not only is Colonel Briteis treated like a misbehaving child in spite of her rank, but we’re told that the only reason women are allowed in the space program is to save weight – though not in the case of Prattles, who is told to her face that she’s too fat to go!

In questioning Briteis about how she pilots the spacecraft, Wernher actually treats her with more respect in her expertise than any other character.  Are we sure we’re not rooting for this guy?

Of course the idea of Moore taking Briteis with him to set up the communications relay instead of Wernher never even comes up, despite the fact that she must be infinitely more qualified and much less likely to try to kill him.  This whole sequence is weirdly mis-used.  We’re expecting Wernher to either try to sabotage things somehow, or for Moore to believe he will do so and a fight to result.  I guess it’s more realistic, seeing as how the survival of both men depends on the relay, that they cooperate successfully – but if that were supposed to be the case, then why does Wernher die in a total accident, falling from a rock and cracking his helmet open?  It doesn’t resolve anything, it’s just a quick and lazy way of getting rid of the character so we can focus on Moore and Briteis and I don’t wanna focus on them.

Wernher’s death also leaves the audience sitting through the last part of the movie without any idea why we’re still watching this.  The villain’s dead, so why isn’t the movie over?  Even if we didn’t hate Moore and Briteis, we’ve actually known Wernher for longer and the movie was set up as if his mission and its defeat were the main storyline.  If he’d been dealt with in a more satisfying manner, either by changing loyalties, or by being killed or recaptured in a way that felt like a victory, it would be easier to move on with the rest of the story.

The final ‘fuck you’ from this movie’s sexual politics is the revelation at the end that the President of the United States is also a woman.  You know what that means?  That means the writers thought they really were showing us a gender-equal future!  They honestly believe that women in positions of power really will freak out and automatically turn to the men for help when things go wrong.  They seriously think that women holding high ranks in the military will be threatened with spankings by their superior officers and that’s completely okay.  And then when you watch the movie again, the scene where Briteis tells the General that the President has ordered Polly Prattles be admitted just looks like a bunch of girls ganging up on a boy they don't like.

Quite a bit of effort went into the effects in Project Moon Base and into its idea of the future (note how they predicted cordless phones!), but it was all wasted on bad actors, shitty sets, and a script that feels like a first draft.  Nothing in the film comes across as properly concluded – not the space mission, not Wernher, and certainly not the love story between Moore and Briteis.  Fuck this movie.  Fuck, fuck, fuck this fucking movie.  Fuck everyone who made it, fuck MST3K for bringing it to my attention, and fuck me for watching it again!  Fuck.

[the-million-mile-mountain]

It All Lies Here (Chapter 1)

Jeremy Dooley is the first to die.

It’s on the nightly news, in every paper across the city, passed around the other gangs like wildfire. Rimmy Tim, Los Santo’s infamous madman, gone up in flames, his car turned over and dug into the dirt. It had been a long and tedious car chase, the cops nearly losing sight of him several times before the Rimmy-mobile had lost control, practically flying into a nearby field. By the time law enforcement had reached the scene, there was nothing to be found aside from the blazing car and charred leather interior.

From the outside, nothing appears to change with the Fakes. Half the city expects them to go scouting for another member for their inner circle, a sixth to balance them out like they’ve always had, but it never happens. Instead, the deals go down like normal, the crew members still take jobs around the city. To all who aren’t involved, it almost looks like it doesn’t affect the Fakes at all. But there are a few perceptive individuals, the B Team and a few dirty cops on their pay role, who notice things. They’re small, hardly worth mentioning, but the Vagabond seems to stand a little stiffer during drug exchanges, Ramsey’s eyes lose their sparkle, and the Golden Boy’s shine is dimmer now.

Trevor is the first to really see it. He’s visiting the penthouse, running some updates on a small-time gang scuffle back to Geoff, when he sees Gavin and Michael on the couch in the living room. They’re staring at the television, leaning against each other, their eyes vacant and hollow. The two men are getting a little gray around the beards; they’ve been doing this for more years than anyone thought possible, but they’ve never looked so…old. Here, letting their age and grief show, Trevor realizes he’s never seen them not laughing. Or yelling. Or just generally roughhousing. He clutches the files closer to his chest, making his way to Geoff’s office as he tries to block out the sound of Jeremy’s laughter, the home-made videos still playing on the big screen.

“Knock knock!” Trevor chirps, forcing happiness into his voice as he walks into the office. There’s papers on the desk, screens glowing on nearly every wall, but Geoff is merely reclined in his office chair, a bottle of scotch in one hand and the other rubbing at his temples.

“Got what you asked for, boss.” He plops the files down in front of Geoff, startling the other man into sitting up straight. Trevor pretends to not notice Geoff wiping away the tears. Or the bags under his eyes. Or how it looks like the man hasn’t shaved or slept for about four days, if the amount of stubble on his chin is anything to go by.

“Thanks man, I’ll look it over in a bit.” Geoff settles back into his chair, the worn leather creaking in protest.

Trevor nearly turns, nearly walks away from this whole thing, but he pauses just in the doorway, looking over his shoulder. He’s known Geoff for years, ever since he took Trevor in off the streets, gave him a job, a home, people to call family. Geoff is the reason that he has Alfredo for a partner, Matt for a friend, Meg and Lindsay as a team, a future to look forward to. Geoff and his gang have always been there for him. And now, though he knows that he wasn’t anywhere near as close to Jeremy as Geoff was, he still can’t help but miss the older man.

“Look, I’m not really good with words, and I don’t know if it’s my place to say anything,” he begins. Geoff doesn’t make any indication he hears Trevor, but doesn’t tell him to go away either. “But he was a good guy. We’re all gonna miss him.” Trevor tries to ignore the way his own voice wavers.

Geoff lets out a heavy sigh, and Trevor can hear the weight in it. “Yeah. Things just…won’t be the same without him.” He sniffles loudly, taking another swig from the whiskey as a few more tears roll their way into his beard.

When Geoff doesn’t continue, Trevor merely leaves, making a mental note to tell Jack to lock up the liquor, at least for a little while.

 ..:..:..:..:..:..

 Gavin is next.

No one expects it. It’s a high-speed pursuit down the coast, Gavin’s bike creating bright pink trails in the darkness and flashing red and blue lights try to keep up with him. They have reports of the others involved in the heist having already evaded law enforcement, but this chase seems to be lasting a bit longer. From the news helicopter following along, it almost looks like Gavin will get away again just like the times before, disappearing into the night without a trace only to reappear the next day. It’s a plot even the police are expecting to follow, so it’s a shock when Gavin’s trail of lights plummets into the ocean. His bike runs dead into a guard rail, and the rider goes somersaulting into the sea.

The cops never find the body. Honestly, they don’t really try; a storm kicks up right after they lose Gavin and they lose hope of finding him. The ripples across the crime world are a little stronger this time; the Golden Boy, Ramsey’s infamous hacker, is gone. No more internet surveillance, no more tracking or monitoring how much information that man may or may not have access to. The other gangs in the area start to pick up activity, emboldened by the Super Power’s sudden loss of influence. Sure, they may seem as calm and collected as ever as they run their usual jobs, but the gang bosses and drug lords around the city boast that they have to be crumbling.

The turn out to be more right than they think.

Lindsay races to the penthouse as soon as she hears the news. Yes, Jeremy’s death had hit her and the rest of the B Team hard, but Trevor had warned them to stay away, to give the crew time to grieve. To his credit, he’d tried to tell her the same this time, but this is Gavin. Her boy, her partner in crime, her best friend is gone. And this is Michael. As much as Lindsay hurts, which is a fucking lot, she knows that out of all six partners, Michael has to be hurting the worst.

Lindsay is almost expecting there to be shouting when she bursts into the penthouse. Screaming, things breaking, Ryan yelling back, something. But instead, the quiet is almost suffocating. Ryan’s on the couch, his skull mask nestled firmly on his face and his eyes glued to the television. She can hear the re-hashing of tonight’s fateful car chase, and she’d have half a mind to scold him to torturing himself, but instead she makes a beeline for the back bedrooms.

She doesn’t even bother knocking before barging into Michael’s room, and her heart nearly stops at what she sees. Michael, the firecracker, the loudest of the lads, is curled into a ball on Gavin’s side of their humungous bed, pressing Gavin’s pillow to his face. She can see his shoulders shake from her position in the door, and the quietest of sniffles and sobs echo in the silence.

“Oh Michael,” Lindsay breathes, immediately rushing to the side of the bed. In the dim glow of the single lamp, Lindsay can see the tears tracks running down his freckled cheeks. She cradles his face in her hands, tears forming in her own eyes, and he doesn’t even look at her and she brushes her fingers down to his shoulders, pulling him into a somewhat awkward but crushing hug.

“Michael, I’m so sorry.”

Michael say nothing, just snakes one hand around her neck and crushes her to him, and she chooses not to mention him shaking as the sobbing starts back up.

They lay together in bed like this for a long while, only pulling away when Michael’s breathing evens out, his shoulders losing their tension and his face going slack. Lindsay doesn’t hide her open staring, wondering how one person can go from being so vibrant and full of life to a mere husk of who they used to be. Michael’s been in this business for nearing thirty years, an impressive feat for anyone in this walk of life, and in all the time Lindsay has known him, both as a dirty cop and as a fellow criminal, she’s never known him to not be…loud. Obnoxious. Reckless and brash. Loving and caring. Himself. But now, with his boi gone and Jeremy already buried, he’s empty. And that’s not something Lindsay likes to see.

She wipes a thumb across his cheek, the other hand rubbing soothing circles into his back. “I’m sorry,” she says again, because at this point, what else is there to say? Gavin and Michael were together the longest, boyfriends and partners before even meeting the Fakes. A bond like that…it can’t be fixed with just words. Michael just lowers his eyes, fingers idly playing with the now-fraying edge of Gavin’s pillow.

Lindsay’s a talker, always has been and always will be. As The Phoenix, Agent of Chaos, and an absolute madwoman with a rocket launcher, there’s nothing she can’t and won’t do to bring her enemies to their knees in both fear and awe. But now, as Lindsey Tuggey, best friend to Michael and Gavin, she can’t find anything to do except hold Michael as he falls into a fitful sleep.

When Michael wakes the next morning, Lindsay is still here, small circles under eyes and a flimsy smile on her lips. And if she notices Michael reaching to the other side of the bed, desperately looking for Gavin under the covers, she doesn’t mention it. Instead, she makes the remains of the crew french toast, not sticking around long enough to intrude on their private moment of grief.

On her way out, Michael tugs on her sleeve, fixes her with a steely gaze, and whispers something into her ear.

“Take care of Meg.”

Her heart squeezes as she thinks of her girlfriend, who must also be devastated, and just nods, peeling away from the building a minute later.

 ..:..:..:..:..:..

 No one is really that shocked when Michael goes next.

Mogar had been irritable the past few weeks, without the calming presences of the Golden Boy and Rimmy Tim to ground him. Setting fires, starting fights, and causing havoc have been his pastimes of late, and the other gangs just know it’s a matter of time before he does something stupid, like set a building on fire and not make it out.

Which is exactly what happens.

The nightly news covers it as a freak accident, a stray power line that had gone haywire and set an empty apartment building ablaze. And, by all accounts, that’s exactly what it looked like. Anyone who may have been in the building at the time would be unidentifiable by now, burnt to char by the blaze. The news crew conveniently left out that there was a tag on the side of the building, a “G” in bright gold spray paint. Or that there had been a puddle of gasoline near where the fire had started. Or that there was no way the power line could have just fallen into the middle of the building.

Or that all the doors were locked from the inside.

Meg is the one to visit this time, her already-thin figure shaking with rage. She barges into the penthouse, her hands curled into fists, knives clenched in each hand. She doesn’t announce herself, doesn’t ask if anyone is there, just lets out a blood-curdling scream. Three gaunt and mildly-alarmed figures appear from around the corner, their guns dropping as they catch sight of the infamous Baby Doll.

“Meg, what’re y—”

Meg interrupts Jack as she launches herself at Ryan, the older man’s eyes going wide behind his mask. Meg can’t think of anything coherent to say as they tussle on their carpeted floor of the penthouse, so she just starts yelling. A shout when he knocks the knives from her hands, a yell when she lands a punch on his chin, a scream when he falls and she pounces, fists pounding into his chest with a series of solid thumps.

She’s barely aware of Geoff and Jack yelling in the background, of their hands grabbing at her arms, of them bodily hauling her away from the Vagabond. Ryan merely stands up slowly, eyes not reaching hers as he reaches beneath his mask to wipe away some stray blood.

“You were supposed to keep him safe!” Meg screeches, struggling against Jack’s arms as she pins the smaller girl to her body. “You were supposed to watch him, make sure he didn’t do something stupid!”

“It’s isn’t anyone’s fault—” Jack soothes, but Meg just shouts again, he voice cracking near the end as she tries to keep the lump in her throat away.

“No! Someone should have been with him! I should have—” Meg breaks off, tears pricking at the backs of her eyes. She stops struggling, going limp in Jack’s arms. “I should have been there.” Meg’s voice is barely a whisper now, and she doesn’t even try to keep the tears from falling. Jack lowers her slowly to the ground, Geoff’s hands on Meg’s shoulders to steady her. Meg grips her own shoulders, as if trying to keep herself from breaking apart. “I should have kept him safe.”

Meg stiffens as large arms encircle her, and she feels the rubber of Ryan’s mask rub against her cheek as he squeezes. “It’s not your fault. He was hurting.” She can hear the tremor in Ryan’s voice as he speaks, feel the trembling in his shoulders. “No one could have stopped him, you know that.”

Meg barks out a short laugh, arms gripping at Ryan’s leather jacket, hiding her face in his neck. He still smells like Michael a bit, like Gavin and Jeremy too. Meg’s been a part of the B Team for years, known Ryan and Michael for longer than that. Back when they’d first met, it had almost seemed like they couldn’t die. Like they could rule the world forever, side by side. But now, that dream is crumbling, and the only people left are sobbing in each other’s arms, the night closing in around the penthouse and the remnants of its broken crew.

 ..:..:..:..:..:..:..

 The others follow soon after.

What was left of the Fake AH Crew had tried to do something small-time, rob a bank like they’d used to back when they were two-bit criminals. And at first, it had all gone smoothly. The money was in the cars, the police were almost evaded.

Until the blockade.

The news stations had eaten up the story of Ryan Haywood, the infamous Vagabond going down in a blaze of glory, law enforcement on all sides as he fires his weapon into the mass of officers. They say that Sergeant Burns was the one to fire the killing blow, a bullet aimed at a weak spot in his already-damaged body armor that dropped the criminal in a matter of seconds. The Kingpin and his Right Hand were nowhere to be found during the confrontation, but many suspected they had retreated to their base to lick their wounds, the only members of the Fakes left alive. In certain circles, plans begin to form: take out the last two remaining members of the original Fakes and their territory would be up for grabs. Multiple crews around the area begin to whisper and plot; now that the Vagabond is out of the way, the other two will be easy pickings.

It only takes a few moments after hearing these rumors for Trevor to immediately set out for the penthouse.

Trevor speeds over as fast as he can, swerving in between summer tourists and cops cars who didn’t bother chasing after him. Everyone in the city knows that Trevor’s fleet of cars can outrun the cops any day at half-speed, and his foot is already pressed to the floor, the landscape blurring into a haze of building and headlights as he speeds to the penthouse.

Trevor knows that something is wrong as soon as he enters the penthouse. The lights are all off save for a few lamps in the corners. The coffee table and kitchen counter are immaculate, not a stray coffee mug or glass of beer left out, almost like no one’s lived here in months. The silence in the flat is only broken by the dull drone of the television still left on; just a few months ago, he’d be able to hear Michael screaming after Gavin, Jeremy laughing manically as he watched from the couch. Geoff would be half-heartedly trying to get the two younger men to calm down, and Jack and Ryan would just watch from the kitchen with matching grins, tired but fond, on their faces. The penthouse had never been silent, or clean for that matter, in the several years that Trevor had known the six Fakes. But now…

“Geoff?” Trevor calls out into the empty house. “Jack? You there?” Only his own voice answered him back, the blank, white walls almost mocking him. Trevor takes a moment to wonder when the photos, pictures of heists and vacations and picnics, had disappeared from the walls. It may have been right after Jeremy died; after all, being constantly reminded of someone who wasn’t there anymore couldn’t have been easy.

Trevor makes his way into the living room, and the two things that catch his eye make his heart drop. The first is an envelope, plain white with only his name on the front. It sits on the coffee table, as if awaiting his arrival. The second is the television. It’s tuned into a news channel, the blond woman sitting behind her desk obviously reading off of a teleprompter behind the camera.

However, it isn’t simply the news story that has Trevor’s blood freezing in his veins. It’s the video playing in the top right corner of the screen, and Trevor frantically grabs for a remote, turning up the volume in horror.

“—appears to have collided with the side of Mount Chiliad after a malfunction with the aircraft.” The camera zooms in on the brunt-out husk of a chopper, the make and model undeniably Jack’s prized helicopter. Trevor would know that vehicle anywhere; heaven knows he’d gone on enough jobs in that thing with Jack in the cockpit. “Officer Sorola of the LSPD recovered two bodies, positively identified as the Kingpin Geoff Ramsey and his right hand, Jack Pattillo.” The screen in the background changes to a still photograph of Gus, still in his uniform, and Trevor could have sworn that Geoff had paid off that officer ages ago.

The image of Jack’s helicopter, still ablaze and bent at awkward angles, slides back onto the screen, and Trevor can’t seem to move. He isn’t one to cry very often, hell he’s more likely to laugh something off and deal with it later, but something hollow settle sin his chest, and he opens Geoff’s letter without thinking, bringing the paper up to his face with shaking hands. It has Geoff’s trademark scrawl across the front, and he’s thankful he’s had years of reading his handwriting, or else it’d be illegible.

 Hey there,

If you’re reading this, then I guess the worst happened. I didn’t wanna write this; it’s bad luck to act like you’re gonna die, ‘cause then it’s a guarantee. But with everything that’s happened, Jack said we have to have a backup plan. Which is you, I guess. The key to the penthouse and all of the passcodes to the warehouses and shit are in this envelope. Looks like you’re the next Big Man, kid. I hereby beq beake bequeathe leave the city to you. Take good care of the city while we’re gone, keep Lindsay and Meg from blowing it up.

See ya, kid.

Geoff, Jack, and Ryan

P.S.: The faucet in the secondary bathroom leaks, just so you know. Might wanna get that looked at.

 Trevor glances between the screen and the letter, his heart pounding in his ears, his hands not quite feeling like his own. When Trevor had joined the Fakes, they had become his family almost instantly. That family had only gotten bigger when the rest of the B Team had come aboard, the whole lot of them nearly inseparable. But now…

It’s just them left. Just Trevor and his team. His family, the people he could trust with his life and more, are mostly gone now. He only has Alfredo, Lindsay, and Meg left. And as much as he truly cares for his team, sees them as family, there’s nothing they can do to replace Geoff and his goofy grins, his advice that sounds a little too sage coming from someone like him, or Jack with her reassuring presence and sharp wit. Michael too, Gavin and Ryan and Jeremy, they had at one point all seemed so invincible. But now, with the letter in his hands and the television still droning on, Trevor can’t help but feel small, almost lost without his family.

He isn’t quite sure how long he stands there, how long the tears have been falling, but when he comes back to reality, Alfredo’s arms are around his shoulders. They’re sitting on the couch. The TV is off, the letter in on the table, and Alfredo murmuring comforting words to him through his own tears. Trevor just lets this happen, closing his eyes and hoping that this nightmare will end soon.

..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..

Here’s the first chapter of It All Lies Here, finally! It’s been up on AO3 for a while (username is MillionMileMountain if you want to stop by and hang out), but this is the first time I’ve had a computer that could connect to this site for a while, so it’s a little late, but here you go! I’ll be putting the other two chapters up here in a bit, but please feel free to leave comments or anything! Also, my inbox is always open for prompts and things, or even just to talk. Thanks for reading! :)

[a-star-that-fell]

so, a list of things that happen in just about every pokemon original series episode ever

-ash and co get lost

-ash and misty argue with each other

-pikachu and togepi do something fucking adorable

-they eat (bonus points if brock makes everyone stew, sandwiches, or rice balls that they call jelly donuts)

-weird mechanical plot by team rocket

-team rocket wears disguises (that ash and co somehow don’t see through despite fighting them for 100 episodes)

-a joke that was probably funnier in the original japanese

-in johto, WOOOOBBBBUUUFFET

-along a similar vein, psyduck randomly pops out of its ball and misty gets pissed

-character of the day

-the entire group spends 30 seconds introducing themselves to said character

-ash mentions pallet town and/or his dream to be a pokemon master

-secondhand embarrassment that makes you actually pause the episode

-brock gets heart eyes (motherfucker) for nurse joy/officer jenny/random character of the day (which is a consistent source of said secondhand embarrassment)

-misty drags him away by his ear while snarking at him and togepi trills happily

-something happens that makes you wonder how they haven’t died or been brutally maimed yet (answer: it’s a children’s show)

-face faulting

-brock makes the 🤔 face (seriously, every fucking episode)

-team rocket does their fucking motto

-pikachu gets captured

-they fight team rocket

-james calls out victreebel and it tries to eat him

-somehow pikachu is broken out of electric rat jail and yells “pika-pi” happily

-ash then has it use thunderbolt

-self aware joke/breaking the fourth wall

-team rocket goes blasting off again

-group laughter and/or waving goodbye

-puns. so many fucking puns.

-narrator reminds us for the 100th time that ash is on his way to xyz gym despite his last gym battle being 9 episodes ago

[sineala]

Hi! I really like your post about diffrences between 616 Stony and MCU version. Could you do something similar about Ultimates? What similarities and diffrences they have with other versions?

I’ve posted Ults meta before, I’m pretty sure, but here I go again!

Okay, so the first thing about Ultimates that you should know is that we’re not working with anywhere near the same amount of canon that 616 got. This should be pretty obvious when you consider the fact that the Ultimates universe was only around for a bit more than a decade.

And when you narrow it down to Ultimates Steve and Tony, the amount of canon gets even smaller. If you’re reading 616 comics for Steve and Tony, you can basically be assured that they will be appearing in multiple ongoing comics – their own book, and whatever the team book is of the team they’re on, because they’re probably both on a team, and if you’re REALLY lucky they’re on the same team at the same time. (Fun fact: the last panel that Steve and Tony both appeared in where neither of them were evil or dead was a Gwenpool Holiday Special from 2015. Why, yes, I have been waiting TWO AND A HALF YEARS to see them meet again.)

But my point was, the situation in Ultimates is not like that. Neither Steve nor Tony have ongoing solo titles in Ults; Steve has one miniseries and Tony has three, two of which were later retconned. When you see them at all it’s because they’re appearing together in the main Ultimates series. This does mean that, proportionally speaking, they probably interact with each other more on-panel (in terms of how much of their interaction is with each other) than Steve and Tony do in 616, but it also means that overall there is much less interaction, because there is so much less canon. My folder of Ultimates comics (the main Ultimates series and a few relevant miniseries and Death of Spider-Man and so on) contains about 250 comics, total, and not all of those have both of them in them. You could read that in maybe two weeks. I’m pretty sure I DID read that in maybe two weeks. (By contrast, in 616, Steve and Tony have appeared together in at least 1700 issues since 1964; thanks to Mucca and Vel for the stats.)

If you talk about Ults, the first thing that’s probably going to come up is the grimdarkness. The Ultimate universe is not a nice place. It was originally created to be a more “realistic” version of 616. So if you’re familiar with the basic character archetypes and arcs of 616, expect to see them exploited for maximum angst potential. It’s very much in dialogue with 616 – sometimes literally, what with the crossovers. One of the times when Ults meets 616, Ults Vision observes that “Their finest, bravest warriors are our damaged, conflicted soldiers,” which as a statement of character is basically what you’re in for for Ults. Like, 616 Steve is a man out of time, and Ults Steve breaks down crying at his family’s graves because he’s so alone. 616 Hank hits Jan, and Ults Hank beats her half to death in a sequence that is graphically drawn out over about half an issue. 616 Tony struggles with drinking, and Ults Tony raises a glass to everything and anything. They’re not as resilient as their 616 counterparts, and they experience more actual trauma rather than just bouncing back. There is character death, and it is permanent. The threat levels are generally lower – they are basically fighting baseline humans and homegrown terrorists a lot of the time – and when higher-powered threats come for them, well, that’s when you get plots like “Galactus eats New Jersey.” I am pretty sure that in 616 they would never have let Galactus get that far.

Having said that, I want to say that Ults is also INCREDIBLY WACKY. Ults 1-3 and Ultimatum are basically incredibly gritty and humorless, but from then on, things start getting weird. I feel like at that point they gave up on the idea of realism and then asked themselves, “Okay, but what if we made Captain America a vampire?” or “what if we made Captain America the president?” and they just… went with that. The grittiness is still there – I mean, Reed basically vivisects Tony twice, for example – but the plots are just off the wall in the best way. It’s… really weird. I mean, you have to get through reading comics where people get their heads bitten off and eaten, but… yeah.

Also, if you’re a 616 fan, there are some crossovers! The Galactus who eats New Jersey is actually from 616. The entire universe ends in an incursion with 616, and they all hang out with each other on Battleworld. Also, Spider-Men is a pretty great miniseries where 616 Peter Parker finds himself in Ults, meeting Miles Morales and everyone else.

If you’re an MCU fan and you’ve heard of Ults, one thing you have probably heard is that the MCU took a lot of inspiration from Ults. Which is true! You’ve got a setup where SHIELD is initially involved in the Ultimates, you’ve got Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, you’ve got the Triskelion, you’ve got Clint’s family, you’ve got Bucky as Steve’s childhood BFF, you’ve got Bruce being more important to the Ultimates than he ever really was to the early Avengers in 616. So you might think that if you don’t know comics and want to start, Ults is a good place to start, and I want to stress that this is probably a bad idea. Because they are all assholes and if you start here you will not want to read another comic, so please read some 616 first. But, even though they are all complete assholes, we love them anyway.

With that said, let’s talk about Ultimate Steve Rogers, an asshole so gigantic that you don’t even need to wonder what the A on his head stands for!

Ults Steve is a much more generally angry guy than 616 Steve – who tends to store up his anger and save it for the really important things in life, like bashing Tony’s face in – and I often think that a lot of that comes from having had more of a chip on his shoulder, pre-Rebirth. We don’t really see much of pre-serum Steve in 616, save for occasional flashback panels, and canon is vague about what is wrong with him. Ults canon is also similarly vague, but we see Ults Steve with an actual, visible disability. He has a limp severe enough where he walks with a cane. We see him pleading with the recruiting sergeant to give him a chance because he doesn’t want to stay at home and do factory work with “the dames” (yeah, yeah, more on Steve’s misogyny later). The Rebirth people recruiting him specifically mention the limp when they mention how they’ve had their eye on him. You figure that’s gotta have an effect on how the world treated him before the serum.

Also, Ults Rebirth is different than 616 Rebirth; it was a six-month period of surgeries and injections before the final treatment. Some of which were canonically steroid injections, so, uh, one theory of mine is that maybe Ults Steve has additional medical reasons for being a Giant Ball of Rage.

One of the consistent character elements for early-canon Steve in so many of his continuities is that whole Man Out Of Time thing he has going, and early Ults hits that hard, and in an entirely different way from other continuities, so as to fuck Steve up more. Ults Steve, you see, had a plan for his life after the war. He had a fiancee, Gail Richards, whom he loved very much. They were going to get married. He knew which house they were going to buy. Unlike some of the other Steves who don’t really seem to have a firm plan for when the fighting is done (looking at you, 616), Ults Steve knows. He’s going to come home.

But, of course, he doesn’t get to. He falls off a rocket while trying to defuse it and wakes up sixty years in the future and everybody else went on without him. Bucky, his best friend, married his fiancee! They’ve got grandchildren! They bought the house he wanted! (Like it wasn’t enough pain.) And, unlike other Steves, he wasn’t an orphan before the war – his parents were both alive, and he had a younger brother, Douglas – but when he wakes up, his family is all dead, and all he’s got are Bucky and Gail, who are both very old, and Bucky is dying of lung cancer. (Bucky doesn’t actually die in Ults canon, as far as I can determine; technically, I think he outlasts Steve.)

So, anyway, Steve is a wreck, and he gets to the future and he just cries and tells Fury they should have left him in the ice. Because he didn’t want this. He didn’t want to be here. And I mean, really, I can’t blame him. (Ults Steve is better with expressing feelings than a lot of other Steves, it’s just that all his feelings are TERRIBLE. He cries a lot.)

Unlike 616, Ults Steve does not seem to be quite the same kind of terrible boyfriend, setting aside that panel where he leaps off a balcony to stop talking with Jan. He seems to have been genuinely in love with Gail, and while his relationship with Jan didn’t go well, Jan was also basically cheating on him with Hank, so there’s that. To the best of my knowledge, we never see him date anyone after Jan. To be fair, if it turned out that the one time I slept with my fiancee in the 1940s had turned out to have resulted in her getting pregnant and then giving birth to the Red Skull, I would not want to have sex with another human being again.

And, of course, there is Ults Steve’s most salient feature: the fact that he’s an asshole. While, yes, everyone in Ults is an asshole, I tend to think it stands out more when it’s Captain America being an asshole. In a lot of ways he’s a lot like the guy you’d think a guy with the name Captain America would be like. Aside from the A on his head not standing for France, he… well, he insults people a lot, and often his insults are pretty misogynistic and/or aimed squarely at the masculinity of his fellow men – he calls them ladies, and girls, and sissies. He does not specifically use homophobic insults as far as I know (canonically, that’s actually Ults Tony with the homophobic jokes), but fandom tends to assume he’s the kind of guy who would, because honestly it’s the sort of insult you would expect.

(There’s a scene in one of the tie-in novels where Tony intimates that Steve is a fascist and Steve just straight-up punches him in the face. Don’t call him a Nazi. Just don’t.)

Having said that, he’s still Steve Rogers, and – like every other Steve – he still wants to do good and save the world. He still cares about people. He just doesn’t know how to express that he cares except by being an asshole, because feelings are hard. And – this is what took me a while to get about Ults Steve – the more he cares, the more of an asshole he is. I didn’t get this until reading Death of Spider-Man, when Peter takes unnecessary risks and Steve just lays into him about it, which makes Peter upset enough that he feels he has to prove himself, which in turn leads to Peter taking a bullet for Steve and dying. This hits Steve hard enough that he ends up taking a leave of absence from the team and going on a road trip. He really does care.

Tony, on the other hand… well, where do I even start? The first time we see him, he’s climbing out of the suit after zipping around Manhattan (he doesn’t have a secret identity) and waving at women, asking Jarvis for a drink, and Jarvis suggests certain assumptions about men who are trying too hard to be visibly all over women, and, uh. Yeah, that’s Ults Tony. Imagine genius billionaire playboy philanthropist MCU Tony and turn him up to eleven. That’s Ults Tony.

He is flamboyant in his dress, speech, and mannerisms. I mean, okay, at one point he describes himself as prettier than Beyonce. He does canonically call people “darling” a lot although I believe that we only see him do this to women; fandom has extended this to men because who are we to let this opportunity slip through our fingers? He’s, well, an eccentric billionaire supergenius, and it shows.

He’s also a drunk. But unlike 616 Tony, he’s a functional alcoholic. When 616 Tony starts drinking, he can’t stop, and his life goes to hell. Ults Tony just… goes through his entire life with a martini in one hand. He gives interviews while drunk. He even pilots the suit while drunk. Please note that the last time 616 Tony tried this, he nearly killed a bunch of civilians, and the guy he was fighting had to stop the fight to save them for him because that’s how fucked up Tony was. But Ults Tony just drinks, and he drinks, and nothing bad ever happens, and he never stops. Unlike 616 Tony, he drinks his way through Steve’s funeral. (Okay, he stops during Ultimate End, but that’s because 616 Tony asks him to and they have to work together.)

And he has brain cancer. Well, he starts out with brain cancer, anyway, and he has brain cancer at several points in the series, most notably at one point manifesting as a child named Anthony who talks to him. (I did say Ults was weird.) In 616, the trauma that makes Tony be a superhero is heart trauma, while he was captured by people who wanted him to make weapons, and then he builds the armor and uses it to get out of captivity. Ults Tony was never captured, and his company may or may not make weapons, I’m not sure. (They definitely make consumer goods and Tony can definitely design and build weapons as a personal skill; I just don’t remember if he’s also a defense contractor.) Tony’s story in Ults is that he gets an inoperable brain tumor, he hasn’t got a long time to live, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life is be a superhero. So he does. (Ironically, he ends up being, I think, the only surviving member of the original Ultimates.)

Much like 616 Tony, he has terrible taste in romantic partners, in that basically everyone he dates tries to murder him. Natasha. Justine Hammer. Probably more people I am not thinking of. I think the only person he sleeps with who doesn’t try to kill him is Carol Danvers (note: she’s not a superhero in Ults), and they’re not terribly fond of each other. (Most of Tony’s stalwart friends in 616 don’t really show up much in Ults. Jarvis dies pretty early on. Pepper shows up but not much. I honestly can’t remember if Happy is in Ults. Rhodey is in Ults but IIRC he works for SHIELD and has no particular relationship with Tony.)

He also has a terrible family! I am not sure how much of his childhood from Ultimate Iron Man is canon anymore, but I am pretty sure Howard was terrible, and then there’s Greg. In a plot development predating 616 Tony getting a surprise brother, Ults Tony has an evil twin. Yep. He really is evil, and the storyline with him in it is a lot of fun, and also terrible for Tony, and from what we see of Greg I am pretty sure Tony’s childhood was a living hell.

And don’t worry, Tony still hates himself! If you read Ultimate Armor Wars you can watch Tony sit at a bar with a box containing his decapitated head from elsewhere in the multiverse that he’s just had to use to murder his grandfather (look, I SAID Ults was weird) and drink and cry a lot.

(My absolute favorite Ults Tony moment – other than Head In A Box — is in the Chitauri fight at the end of Ults 1 where Tony gets downed and is lying there, having vomited in his helmet, saying desperately how he can’t do this, how he’s not as smart as they think he is, how nobody’s as smart as they think he is – and then he gets back up and gets into the sky again, because if he doesn’t fight, no one else has a chance.)

As for the Steve/Tony dynamic… well, they’re not 616. It’s clear that they’re good friends, and that they care about each other, and if you go read the Slashy Moments List you’ll see that they have a lot of nice moments with each other over the course of the series. But if you’re looking for that lifelong devotion and intensity of 616, well, you kind of have to do more of the heavy lifting as a fanfic writer to get there. You can, however, get a nice dynamic going with them where you just let Tony be his flamboyant self and keep bouncing off of Captain Grumpy Cat, and it can be a lot of fun to write… but, basically, it’s on you. Not entirely on you, but way more than in 616 where you can just grab a comic and find Tony musing about Steve’s azure eyes and handsome face.

I will say that one thing that they have going for them is that they have always had each other’s backs. Whereas 616 and even MCU have gone for Civil War, and so on, Ults never did. They’ve never betrayed each other. They’ve never even significantly hurt each other. It’s refreshing. And, okay, there was a civil war – an actual civil war, where Reed Richards bombed DC and half the US seceded and Texas had nukes – but Steve was president of the US, and Tony was working with him, and they were on the same side.

Also, you should probably know that Steve dies. While no one really makes it out alive on account of the incursions (though I think the universe is back now, Steve may or may not be alive; it’s confusing because it was in different issues by different writers), Steve dies slightly before the incursions start, fighting Galactus. Tony gives his eulogy. At that point you’ll have read all the Ults you need to read anyway; the main team disbands after that, because in the end, I guess Tony really can’t do this without Steve.

So that’s Ults! They’re my favorite assholes!

[ashrelfury]

Affection: Andreil

Everyone believed that Neil would be the more affectionate of the two of them.

In a sense they were right, but for Neil, they were very very wrong. 

Andrew's affection would never be normal. It would never be public, and it would never be obvious, that's why almost no one saw it like Neil did. 

"Shut up and get in the car." Andrew's tone was emotionless and his face lacked an expression, but it was the keys he pressed into Neil's hand that really spoke volumes. 

"Yes or no?" Andrew would ask, never moving until the answer was given. But it was the fact that Neil would always say yes, and Andrew would always ask anyway that made Neil's heart stutter. It was the sheer brutality of every kiss they shared. Andrew was never gentle with his mouth, he abused it like being gentle would hurt more for both of them, and Neil figured it would. When his hands wondered though, Andrew would press careful fingers into the scars, marking them every time without fail, like he was proving to Neil that the scars did fuck all to deter their attraction. 

The way his fingers were well lubed and slow to open Neil up to him. And when he felt Neil was ready, he was careful to enter, like to cause this sort of pain would be breaking one of his precious promises. 

It was in the way he singled Neil out when they were around the other Foxes. 

"You know what? Fuck you, Josten!" Jack snarled advancing fast on Neil, another one of their many fights. This one was because Neil had been faster and stole the ball before Jack got his chance to score. Neil wasn't impressed by the kid's skill, no matter that he was Kevin's pick, so these fights were a normal thing. The only difference this time was that when Jack went for Neil, he used his racket, pulling the stick back to put force into whatever blow he was going to strike, but Jack never got the chance. 

Neil, as prepared as he was to block the blow, wasn't too surprised to find Andrew behind Jack, holding the netting of the racket with an iron, unmoving grip. 

"Oh, sorry." Andrew said, blank faced when Jack's wide eyed stare turned to him. "I don't think babies deserve to play with big boy toys." And then he yanked the stick out of Jack's hold, tossing it to the side like it didn't matter before taking another step forward, into Jack's face. 

Despite the fact that Jack had 6 inches on Andrew, the boy quickly took a step back. Andrew's blank eyes being more than enough to intimidate. "How about you fight with your fists before trying to use weapons. If you don't know what you're doing, you could really hurt someone."

What the rest of the Foxes couldn't see, with the exception of Wymack in the teams waiting box, Renee who was watching the exchange closely, and Neil who couldn't really see it but knew what was going on by the stillness of Jack's back, was that Andrew had a knife pressed against Jack's stomach, between the protective Exy padding.

Jack didn't say anything. The fear for this short psychopath was overwhelming and all consuming, but this was true for everyone.

Andrew waited a couple of beats before backing away again, his steely gaze flicking to Neil, who shook his head slightly. The question clear only to him: "Do you want me to put him in his place?".

When Andrew saw the head shake, he turned, moving back in front of the goal and trusting that Neil could handle the kid from now on.

When the Foxes shook themselves out of their shock, they all asked Jack if he was alright. The kid was shaken, Neil could see it in the fleeting eyes and the slight tremor in his hands as he reached for his discarded racket. When he stood back up, his eyes met Neil's. Jack recoiled only slightly at the bored look on Neil's eyes, like Andrew's actions were par for the course. Jack suddenly understood that, for them, it was.

"You want to fight me, he won't stop you again." Neil said with a one shoulder shrug.

Jack glared at Neil, venom running through his veins at being so thoroughly embarrassed.

"Go to hell." He sneered. But he didn't swing, the fear still fresh in his mind.

"Get some sense in your head, kid. Whatever it is you feel, leave it off my court. We don't have time for drama." Neil said, turning on his heels to find Kevin behind him.

"Least you learned something from last year." Kevin grumbled before looking at Jack. "I wouldn't be so keen on picking fights if I were you. You've been here five months and you still can't score on Andrew."

During the rest of their practice time, any ball Andrew deflected ended up rocketing straight at Jack's shoulders. Impacting with a force that surprised the kid at first and infuriated him after, but he didn't engage Andrew. Instead to took the anger out on Neil, tackling and body-checking the other striker whenever he got the chance. In turn, Andrew would lob the balls harder, knocking Jack to the floor at one point. Neil was just about ready to commit murder, he just wasn't sure who he wanted to kill more Andrew or Jack.

The trips to Colombia were different too. Andrew had a habit of sticking to Neil side the whole night, something that didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the group. No one dared say anything, least they draw attention to themselves. Andrew didn't drink and he didn't touch the cracker dust, but when he turned to Neil, the message was always clear. 'You can drink, I'll keep watch.' because Andrew knew that Neil was still uncomfortable losing control. When Neil did drink, Andrew was always there to hold the runaway up, but he always mocked Neil for it the next day. That was another show of affection. 

But the greatest thing for Neil, was the way Andrew allowed Neil to sleep beside him. There were rules, of course, there were always rules: the first rule was that Neil had to be in bed first, on the outside so Andrew could press his back against the wall and have a view of the whole room. Next, Neil could only touch Andrew's arms. So when Andrew rested his head against Neil's shoulder, Neil would loosely hold onto Andrew's arm band. Taking whatever comfort he could find in the hard compact body beside him.

There were times that Neil would wake up with a knife to his kidney, Andrew still tense and on edge until he fully woke up. On those nights, Neil wouldn't move. He wouldn't fall asleep afterwards, though Andrew almost always did. The trust of that always stuck when Neil least expected.

No. No one would ever see the little things Neil did. No one knew Andrew like Neil did.

Neil could live with that.

[italicwatches]

Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online - Episode 05

I am full of food and have set some aside for a friend. It’s a bit late, but let’s do this. It’s Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online, episode 05! Here we GO!

-We begin with the other team, prepping for their big final hunt and getting all excited about it…Also, incredibly hard to translate language puns.

-Meanwhile, M is having a real bad day. Like, really bad. Possibly his worst. And…Well, M insists that if he dies in the game, he’ll die for real.

-First, question. I’m not saying he’s lying yet, but what fucking idiot would thus enter into a PvP Battle Royale? If you’re trapped in the game, you keep your fucking ass in the starter town(hai, Kazuma desu) and farm low-level PvE mobs for enough credits to get by!

-Second, well I just found my screen cap and we’re only a minute in.

-Because LLENN calls bullshit, this isn’t SAO. …Now tell her what was on that letter, you dumb idiot. He hands it over without resistance, and it’s from Pito, of course, telling him…That if he survives an entire hour, she’ll be super impressed. But if he dies a cowardly death, or after the hour mark, she’ll totally kill him for real. …Dude, you can’t let Pito get into your fuckin’ head like that.

-BULLSHIT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT WOMAN IS CAPABLE OF

-Opening!

-Sidenote, what the fuck was his plan if shooting LLENN in the head had worked? Take on the entire enemy team himself? She’s not a political enemy, you can’t trade her corpse for fucking safe haven.

-And we’re back. So, whatever the actual situation is, M is fully convinced that PIto will legit murder him in legit reality if he loses. Do you have any idea how obsessed she IS with the original SAO?! With the idea of death games, and of putting your life on the line?!

-And LLENN puts out the question I just wanted to know. And his plan? Kill her. Become team leader. Resign, which wouldn’t count at suicide by the strictest definition of Pito’s terms, and would kick him out right away so he could make a run for it.

-…You’re a fuckin’ idiot and you took her way too lightly, man. So here’s the actual factual plan. She’s gonna go shoot the other team full of red pixel dots. You’re gonna go hide somewhere. If she dies, you can bail out or whatever. Peace.

-And then she’s off, barely stopping long enough to retrieve her cool hat before she’s off like a rocket and putting together a battle plan…What’s her best tools? Simple, the core thing she’s been pouring XP into since day one. At least in terms of this Squad Jam, she’s the fastest woman alive! Run, LLENN, run!

-Meanwhile, M is trying to convince himself he wasn’t in the wrong here…And then with one last war cry, LLENN’s out of comm range.

-She’s moving at full force, sprinting over a dockside…And finds herself having just jumped into the enemy team! Behind cover, return fire! It’s a vicious high-speed duel with their forward scout, as she desperately tries to find LLENN…But gets out-played, taking vicious shots! LLENN gets glanced in the shoulder, but reloads far faster when the mags run dry, and blasts the gun right out of the other woman’s hands!

-She starts calling for reinforcements and goes for her sidearm…But it’s far too late, as she gets bisected with gunfire! The rest of her team arrives just in time to watch her collapse, and for LLENN to fucking book it behind some rocks when they pour it on! The heavy gunners are going full force…

-And the sniper tries to pin her down, but the wildly desperate LLENN somehow outruns them all, even as she tries to ignore that little bit of her lizard hindbrain that doesn’t realize this is just a game and FUCK FUCK FUCK THIS IS PRETTY LEGITIMATELY SCARY FOR HER

-Episode 05! “Leave the Last Battle to Me”

-While the other team make a point of taking their fallen comrade’s gear…They’re gonna get vengeance for you, and claim that gold, friend. Don’t you worry.

-Back with LLENN, she takes stock. Down to 70% HP. Only six mags left, and two plasma grenades, and a knife. Not a good set of odds. She’s running into the lion’s den here…

-But she remembers what Pito taught her. Never fire randomly or in desperation. If you can’t say with certainty where you’re aiming and why, then all you’re doing is giving away your location and fear to the enemy. Center, focus. Always act with intent.

-And LLENN starts to put her focus together. She can do this. She will do this. Deep breath, get moving. They’re gonna get eyes on her…

-And then two shots ring out. One in her back. One rips through her mag carrier. She stumbles, staggers, takes another shot as she falls down there side of the cliff, barely pulling through with about 30% of her HP left…The leader starts pushing the rest of her team to herd her in…

-As LLENN realizes she fell for a fucking trap. They used their Bullet Lines to draw her in! But she can still move. She can still run. Everything hurts, but if she can get from cover to cover…

-She’s got multiple sharpshooters on her…And when they pin her down, the big guns come out! LLENN is stuck, pinned, and desperate…

-When she gets a plan. She throws a grenade just over the rock, starts counting…And the instant it goes off, she sprints, letting the ball of plasma catch their fire and block her escape! MOVE! FUCKING MOVE!

-The other team…Well, she’s earning their respect. Pulling shit like this solo? Little rabbit’s good.

-While LLENN manages to get out of the line of fire, and the pain’s starting to wear off. She can focus, and think…But that leaves her needing to think of a plan. Right now, she’s got a real problem. Her victories come from being up close and personal…

-That’s right, LLENN-chan! Wait, who’s…

-…LLENN.

-LLENN, sweetie.

-You need to log out.

-You’re hallucinating.

-Because I refuse to believe your gun is actually talking.

-Anyways, P-chan tells her to go forward, to use her speed to get in and god dammit why does P-chan have anime eyes. No you cannot meet senpai!

-At least LLENN has the smarts to realize she must be losing her mind.

-But eventually, the enemy team is hunting her down, and she’s chilling on a rock. Looking for her? They shoot…And she just fuckin’ dives away from it, before racing in! DAKKADAKKA, big gunner down! The sniper’s caught in too close, unable to get a solid shot in,, and instead gets lost to a plasma grenade!

-LLENN eats a glancing blow, ends up spiraling down with about 25%, and caught under two Bullet Lines with her gun out of reach…

-When a shot lances through the air, hitting a grenade on the other gunner’s belt! She’s lost in fire, and it’s down to the leader in the thick…

-While the last two members of the team, watching from afar, get eyed by sniper fire! M, is, back in the game! They’re on the run, but LLENN’s got this…

-As she races in against the leader!

-And eats a roundhouse kick to her tiny, vulnerable stomach that sends her into the far wall. Soooo that’s not great.

-Yeah, that hurts real bad. The leader pins her down hard, and puts round after round into her chest…But it doesn’t work?! HOW?! WHY WON’T YOU DIE?!

-She put the scanner in her breast pocket. The scanner is indestructible.

-It’s the frying pan of GGO.

-And that gives LLENN enough time to whip her head away from the next shot, for the leader’s mag to run dry! LLENN flings a P90 mag at her, forcing her to step back, giving our tiny pink devil enough space to just magdump!

-The leader ferociously grabs that P90, trying to rip it out of her hands, to snap it in half…You’re good, little one. Good enough to piss her off. What’s your name? LLENN. Yours? Eva. Everyone just calls her Boss.

-You ran dry, didn’t you.

-So did you.

-And then the other gunner arrives, the last one still armed! JUST FIRE, you fool! One of them has to survive, that’s all!

-But she hesitates. For a singular moment too long. Her machine-gun gets shot apart, and in a final play, she throws the boss her sidearm magazine!

-Eva whips her pistol up, catches it perfectly…And LLENN finds it to her head. But P-chan will protect her! Shot after shot echoes across the desert landscape…

-And when it’s over…LLENN still stands, with P-chan filled full of damage…It shatters in her hands, and, uh, guys?

-Guys?

-P-chan was her power limiter.

-So this is bad.

-Very bad. With a furious roar, she dives in with her knife, tearing Eva’s thighs open! Back and forth, cross cut that puts her on the ground, and then a vicious strike to the chest! LLENN eats a punch before she can land it, loses all but her last 1% of HP…

-But the knife went up. And she catches it with her free hand, diving it CLEAR THROUGH EVA’S NECK! Crimson neon sprays from the wound, she hits the ground in a heap…

-And LLENN almost eats a sniper round to the head from the last surviving member. But M draws her out by standing firm, and the two snipers cross counter with bullets. The enemy sniper drops…And then so does M.

-But then the fireworks go up! TEAM LM IS THE WINNER OF THIS FIRST SQUAD JAM!

-LLENN arrives to find M’s…Got his pack on backwards and it took the shot. You ridiculous man you scared her half to death. But that, is, the, game!

-This first ever Squad Jam lasted just shy of an hour and a half, and they fired 49,810 shots! Jesus. I wonder how many of those were out of P-chan.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! The real world. When a tiny adorable schoolgirl comes up to Karen, because they noticed she got her hair cut short and it turns out this whole group always admire Karen when they see her walking by, thinking she’s so elegant and graceful like a model and this is the moment when we’re supposed to realize that this is Eva’s squad. Like, you see it, right?

-But, yeah. It’s an interesting thing, conflicting height complexes…But Karen managed to push herself forward. It might sound silly, but…The sheer wild desperation of a VR game, of fighting for her life again and again, was what locked it in for her. She realized she could endure.

-And indeed, one of them calls the head girl, Saki, Boss, and Karen doesn’t quite put it together yet, but she ends up making some adorable younger friends. …Gahhhh, it’s impossible.

-And then Saki comes up to shake her hand. For defeating the Boss, I now bestow upon you the rank of Big Boss. You’re a hell of a player, LLENN. She’s gonna totally kick your ass next time though, little rabbit. Bring it on, you amazon.

WHAT A FUCKING FIGHT THAT WAS, am I right? God damn! Constantly on the edge of the seat, taking LLENN down to her final most desperate tools! Oh that was delicious.

I cannot wait to see where things go from here. We’ll see next time, in episode….Well looks like 5.5, of SAO Alt: GGO! Wait for it!

[timeisacephalopod]

Echo

Ok so this is a slight canon divergent AU post Infinity War. Drax and Mantis are still alive post-snap and they’ve teamed up with Nebula and Tony. Featuring Mantis & Tony and Tony & everyone else too.

Tony looks out over the stars, unfamiliar with the systems he’s staring at. Quill is dead, so is Strange and Tony still can’t fucking believe he gave up that stone for Tony’s life, and Peter. Peter is dead too. I don’t feel so good has played on a loop through his head for so long its just background noise to him now, lost in the grief of not knowing who else is alive or dead. The rest of the Avengers? Tony doesn’t know. Pepper? Rhodey? No clue. Drax is worried about Groot and Rocket, a couple Guardians he hasn’t met yet, and Mantis feels her own grief plus everyone else’s. She’s got the shittiest end of the stick as far as Tony is concerned.

A hand slips over his arm and he looks over, finding Mantis staring at him in that slightly unnerving way she has, antennas glowing. It indicates that she’s channeling her ability to feel, he’s learned. She frowns a little- aliens apparently closely mimic human emotions or repeat them easily- and leans forward a little. “Are you okay?” she asks softly. Strange considering she can feel how he feels. She’s been wandering the ship for days carefully monitoring everyone’s feelings, even Nebula’s. The first time Mantis tested her power on her Nebula tried to kill her but she’s since seen the light of Mantis’ ability to control emotions. Probably for the first time in his life, and Nebula’s too, they both have regular sleep patterns and they don’t dream. Its a fucking blessing.

“You know how I feel, Mantis,” he tells her but she shakes her head.

“No,” she says softly. “You don’t feel anything at all.”

“Its grief, Mantis,” Drax says softly from behind them. Mantis jumps a little- skittish after her rather brave attack on Thanos- and turns to face him. Drax steps out of the shadows and gives Tony a pitying look that, for a moment, makes him resentful but it passes fast. Almost too fast for Mantis to catch it. “Sometimes its easier to turn off your ability to feel,” Drax tells Mantis. “Grief is hard on a person.”

Something he’d know. He lost his wife, his child, half his crew- he’s been through more than Tony has and in a shorter time frame. Mantis removes her hand from Tony and places it on Drax, antennas glowing. “You don’t feel the same way he does,” she says softly.

Drax shakes his head. “I’ve been numb too long. That’ll pass eventually and when it does I’m sorry. So sorry about you child,” he says and Mantis tears up, indicating Drax’s feelings better than Drax himself. Tony feels his face twist for a moment, grief making a break through his carefully constructed walls before he sniffs a little and stands up straighter. Rhodey used to tell him it was a tell he had, has he guesses, that’s a sure fire way to know he’s upset. Beyond that there’s usually nothing. Tony doesn’t know if Rhodey can tell him anything anymore.

He opens his mouth to say that Peter wasn’t his child but the words stick in his throat. Instead he says, “thank you,” softly and Mantis pulls her hand from Drax, moving it back to Tony to retest his emotional state. When she places her hand over he heart- or where Tony’s heart would be considering he has no real idea what her anatomy looks like- and lets out a loud sob he quickly pulls away. No need for her to suffer too and he feels bad enough watching her gasp her way through his residual emotions as it is. 

**

“Hey,” Tony says to Nebula, earning a sharp glare from her. She’s trying with minimal success to fix her own arm but that’s difficult to manage with one hand. Tony takes her tools and starts doing the work himself and Nebula slowly relaxes into it. “Are there like... I don’t know, some space version of puppies?” he asks and she glares at him again.

“I don’t know what a puppy is,” she tells him in that slightly mechanical, harsh tone she has.

“Um. Fresh version of dogs. Kid dogs. Dogs are furry animals, generally very social, like to be pet, happy all the time unless they’ve gotten into the garbage, then they’re guilty. Or space cats, those would work too. Also four legged, less social but still cute, they purr. Anything ringing a bell?” he asks. Explaining human pets is surprisingly difficult. 

Nebula shrugs, “I’ve never paid attention to things like that. Never worth my time,” she says. Never worth Thanos’ time, she means. And Tony thought his father was bad- Thanos is a thousand times worse. The way he could do such cruel, horrific things while displaying a shocking amount of empathy... fuck, that’s got to mess a person up living with that.

He sighs, “I’ll ask Drax,” he says.

**

Drax is entirely unhelpful, producing these ugly drooling lizards and insisting they were space puppies. They at least make him happy and they occupy his time, giving him something to focus on besides his grief and the potential of losing what little of his crew he has left. Tony isn’t looking forward to a return to earth either if he’s honest. But Drax at least enjoys his ugly lizards enough to not think about it.

**

Nebula comes up to him three days after Drax’s attempt at space dogs with the weirdest looking creature Tony has ever seen. Its sort of in the shape of a sphere with one eye and six legs and its blue but it is furry and it is cute. “It has too many legs but I think its a dog,” Nebula says and Tony can’t help but laugh.

“This isn’t a dog, but it is cute,” he says, pulling the small animal from her grasp and petting it. It starts making this... noise and Tony frowns. “Is that a good thing?” he asks, unsure if Nebula would even know.

“I’ve been told it is. I’ve also been told that it hates me,” she says, glaring at the furry creature. It stops making its strange noise and Tony can feel it tense a little.

“Stop glaring at it, you’re scaring it,” Tony tells her. “Poor thing,” he says softly, petting it again until it relaxes and starts making its happy noise. “Can you show me where you got this?”

Tony discovers that this is, in fact, basically a space dog but its got behaviors that blend what he’s used to from cats and dogs. The animal is social, but usually begins to prefer one specific person best like cats. They’re also highly attentive to emotions like both dogs and cats, hence it not liking Nebula, who doesn’t like it either, and they eat copper. That had thrown Tony for a loop but he ends up with a whole box of them and a massive amount of copper, which isn’t at all expensive on the planet he’s on, hence it being used as food for the space dogs.

When he brings them all back to the ship he finds Mantis, who perks up when he sees him. He smiles and dumps the box of space dogs on her. She frowns for a moment before reaching out to the creatures, who are now sniffing her much like earth animals do, and runs her hands along them. Her antennas light up and she smiles blissfully. “They’re so happy,” she says, petting two new space dogs. “They like me! They like you,” Mantis says, looking over at him. A couple of the little balls of fluff have jumped ship from Mantis’ chair to his feet and he can feel several paws on his legs as the little creatures vie for his attention. he bends down to their level, petting the soft little guys while they all squeak happily in response.

“You’re always feeling what we do,” Tony tells Mantis softly. “I figured that has to be hard. So I brought you these. They’re happy, I thought maybe they might be a good break for you when we get to be too much,” he says. A couple of the balls of fluff go running back to an enthusiastic Mantis, who lifts them into her lap.

“They’re wonderful,” she says, petting as many of the fluffy creatures as she can manage. “Thank you.”

Tony smiles as the first of the creatures Nebula has brought to him comes running over, six legs moving fast, until he literally runs head first into Tony’s leg. He smiles and pets it too, pleased when it makes that happy space dog noise. “You’re welcome, Mantis,” he murmurs.

**

Drax has taken a surprising liking to the space dogs, training them to help wrangle his lizards. Nebula had reluctantly taken in one of the furry creatures when it proved to be too antisocial for the rest of the group and for Tony and Mantis though it didn’t hate Tony like it did everyone else. It mostly just tolerates him. But it loves Nebula. She loves it back even if she tries not to show it.

Tony and Mantis are the two the social fuzzy creatures like the most though and they spend their time splitting themselves between the two and switching with surprising efficiency minus the one that has taken a strict liking to Tony. They make things at least a little brighter on the ship, they give all of them something to focus on besides Thanos, their loss, and the unknown.

[crystalelemental]

Gen 7 was unique for me, in that I was actually present and invested in a lot of the early reveals.  The unfortunate situation is that, during reveals, they showed the right things to get me excited, only for a lot of final forms and unknown things to miss their mark.   Alolan variants also wound up being too few and not sufficiently interesting to justify its inclusion, with Z-moves also being introduced but doing nothing to change competitive value of most things and just pushing power creep forward.  The real selling point of this generation was the story of SuMo (which was obliterated by USUM), and the inclusion of Ultra Beasts, the coolest concept the series has ever had.

TOP 15: 15) Comfey - Comfey was a Pokemon I just kinda liked at first.  But with its ability Triage, I attempted to run one in a tournament one time, and my god can this little shit put in work.  Leech Seed + priority Draining Kiss is hysterical, with Calm Mind boosting its damage, and either priority Synthesis or Aromatherapy being great final move support.  Comfey has a lot of sick tricks it can pull, which is great when combined with its cute look and beautiful shiny form.

14) Mareanie - Remember when no one knew what the hell Mareanie was? When it was accidentally revealed on the side of the Pokemon TCG box, and everyone was like "Oh man, what could that be?"  Those were fun times.   Even better was how cute this thing was.  Those times, during the leaks of Gen 7, were excellent, because we had all these cute options that I just knew I needed to get.  Unfortunately, Toxapex loses a lot of cuteness upon evolution, but it could've been a lot worse.  As we'll see soon.

13) Pikipek - Meet the bird that was going to be my favorite in the series. Pikipek was another Pokemon I was sure would make my final team.  I love woodpeckers, and having one in the game was divine.  Giving it Skill Link was even better, and announcing it would know Bullet Seed somehow improved it even more.  It was setting up for something incredible!  Too bad that, like many things this generation, it didn't live up to the potential.

12) Morelull - I adored Morelull.  It's such a cute mushroom creature.   Maybe it's just my bias, but if it was going to evolve, I had expected it to be a mushroom princess-type plant.  Something beautiful and elegant and lovely, befitting the glowing mushroom fairy child.   And...well...needless to say, it was not that.

11) Mimikyu - Does anyone not like Mimikyu?  I'm actually asking, because it seems like this is the fan favorite this gen.  Mimikyu is either precious or terrifying, and both are great.  It's either sad and lonely because it wants people to love it like they love Pikachu (or Raichu, in my case), or it loathes Pikachu with all of its being and wants to destroy it.  Either is fine.  Ghost/Fairy is a great typing, and it has perhaps the most unique ability in the game, operating as a free Substitute that doesn't prevent status.  This allows for some great setup, and allows it to be surprisingly good in competitive play as well. Which...surprised me, for sure.

10) Oricorio-Sensu - Oricorio is a neat Pokemon.  We've had other things in the past do a similar thing, most notably Castform and Rotom, but Oricorio still manages to stand out to me.  Sensu form in particular is my favorite, being a Ghost/Flying type with a really elegant design.   It's a beautiful bird, and a great Pokemon visually, but unfortunately lacks necessary coverage and stats to be competitive.

9) Stakataka - You know what's awesome?  Ultra Beasts.  They are the coolest thing to come out of this series in ages.  Stakataka, as a newer one, is basically just a sentient brick wall, where each brick is an individual life form, all operating together to be bigger than their opponents.  While I am disappointed that there is not a pre-evolution that is a single brick called a Taka, I suppose this is fine.   Rock/Steel is a notoriously terrible typing, but somehow, against all odds, its stats are set just right, and it has access to Trick Room and Gyro Ball, in order to blast through almost anything in the game.  As if that weren't enough, its shiny form is a solid gold brick wall.   Incredible.

8) Ribombee line - Cutiely is another of those defining Pokemon that got me invested.  Thankfully, unlike several others, its evolution was just as adorable. Ribombee is such a precious Pokemon, with its little scarf and pollen gathering nature.  I just adore how cute and wonderful this line is.

7) Tsareena line - Talk about disappointment.  I adore Tsareena.  The whole evolutionary line.  But when it was revealed, and when we got a look at its ability that shuts down priority, I thought we'd finally done it.  This was the moment that Tsareena would save Grass types.   Fast, strong, able to shut down priority, it could be amazing!  And then we see what it does...and its bulky offense. Grass...cannot do bulky offense.  We've tried this.  A lot.  It doesn't work.  Power Whip is too inaccurate while Trop Kick is too weak.  High Jump Kick is damaging, but runs a lot of risks with imperfect accuracy, and is useless in Doubles.  Even Play Rough is inaccurate.  All this, on top of a middling 72 base speed, which is just too fast to even use with Trick Room...and it all becomes a massive disappointment from the competitive side, which is the ONLY reason she doesn't rank higher.  Her design is excellent, the concept of a queen of fruits is interesting, I just really wish they'd let her be a bit more powerful.

6) Tapu Lele - Had you asked in the week before the game came out what my favorite Pokemon was, Tapu Lele would've been the answer without question. It's adorable, Psychic/Fairy typing is great, and the description of it made it sound like it had tremendous healing potential that it shared with others in a fickle manner that could cause excess harm, with its battle role being implied to be a mix of healing and status play.  And then it was revealed what it did.  And it's hyper-offense through and through.  I still love it!  But the concept of a Pokemon that worked through massive healing potential and status play to wear down an opponent would've been a lot more interesting than something whose stats mirror Gardevoir's but a bit higher, but had a god-tier ability.  It's ultimately complicit in Terrain Wars, which is the new Weather Wars from Gen 5, which I don't think many people are happy with, but I still love it just the same, even if its description was an absolute lie.

5) Pheromosa - More UBs!   Pheromosa is a pretty bug creature that will kick the shit out of you.   It's stupid fast, even outpacing Mega Alakazam, and has incredible offensive presence on both sides of the spectrum as well.  It does lack for defense, so priority can be a problem, but that's a small price to pay for having such excellent coverage options and such a great spread of stats.  Plus, again, it's very pretty, and has a nice shiny that even put on pants.

4) Lurantis - Lurantis is one of those Pokemon that I feel sets the entire feeling for a generation.   The instant I saw it, I knew I would train one, no matter what. It's such a beautiful Pokemon, and I love it dearly.  But, again, it kind of defines the competitive focus of this generation as well.  It's slow as hell and bulky offense.  Look, Gen 7, I get it.  More than power creep, speed creep has been running rampant in your game.  Megas across the two sets of games last gen went from base 100 to base 110 because 100 just wasn't cutting it anymore, and new megas needed to be ahead of the curve (even if you fucked over Gardevoir to give Gallade better tools, again making the male version the better one you shits).  But bulky offense is dead.  You killed it yourself.  Damage outputs are too damn high, boosting moves are so extreme that one boost is enough for several Pokemon to just sweep outright, and because of how EVs work you are required to pick a role.  Bulky Offense for something whose best stat value is 105 is terrible, and it's never going to work.  Maybe with Trick Room.  Maybe.  But even then we run into the problem where it's a Grass type, and is therefore awful in competitive by default.  It's a shining example of what needs to be addressed in competitive, because outside of grass being shafted and the stat spread being awful given the state of things, it has incredible tools that should help it to function.

3) Primarina line - What an excellent starter Pokemon.  Popplio can look a little doofy, but it's still cute.  And each evolution only ramps up the beauty.  Brionne is precious, and Primarina is one of the most fabulous Pokemon I've ever seen. Water/Fairy is always an excellent typing, and it's surprisingly straight-forward as a raw special attacker.  It also has an emphasis as a singer, which I always appreciate.  If it weren't for my favoritism for foxes, Primarina would easily be my favorite starter in the series.

2) Celesteela - More UBs!  This time, it's the 30ft rocket child, Celesteela! Celesteela is one that I loved based on design, but wasn't quite as high-ranked initially.  What propelled it upward was battle performance.  It is such a wall, and unlike some UBs, has a moveset that actually feels distinctly alien.  Leech Seed?  Giga Drain and Flamethrower?  On a Steel/Flying type?  It's the weirdest thing, and by extension, the coolest thing.  Celesteela is amazing, and I wish other UBs followed its lead and showed off some bizarre and alien moves.

1) Nihilego - The ultimate being.  Nihilego is, without question, my favorite Pokemon right now.  As an Ultra Beast, it's already doing great on concept alone.  It's an alien jellyfish monster that's parasitic in nature, attaching to other living beings for sustenance, but being toxic to most things to which it attaches. It has no clear-cut consciousness, being more reactive than anything, though apparently acts much like a young girl, for whatever that means.  It's an adorable Pokemon, too, and carries the incredibly unique Rock/Poison typing, technically being the first-ever Poison legend, if you count UBs are legends.  It's an unbelievably cool, creepy, and adorable Pokemon, and I love everything about it. I just wish it had gotten a signature move or something that made it seem more alien.  All its moves are standard, despite it having an atypical typing and bizarre stat spread.  Maybe some day they'll introduce new, unique moves for each UB, but somehow I doubt it.  Pokemon Company is really bad at changing things that need to be changed retroactively.

BOTTOM 10: 10) Incineroar - Starting out, it's the final stage evolution almost no one wanted, Incineroar.  While not inherently bad, and at least avoiding the Fire/Fighting curse, Incineroar's main problem is as a final stage to Litten.  Litten is cute and wonderful.  Litten is also a cat.  A species that, for some reason, is consistently awful in battle in this series.  Incineroar should've been an exception.  Should have.  Instead, it's a wrestler in a cat suit, losing the charm of a cute cat, and somehow is still not all that good competitively.  Intimidate will help it, but it's lacking in the ability to really impress with anything it does.  Combined with the rampant disappointment over a cute starter becoming a weird, tough heel wrestler, I think it definitely earns a spot here.

9) Toucannon - However what's more upsetting to me is what happened to my dear Pikipek!  Toucannon is fine on its own.  You want a toucan?  Great, go for it.  But don't make my precious woodpecker child your angry toucan that's slow as hell and has no benefit from Skill Link.  Pikipek should have been a final form that perfected the Cinccino strategy.  Instead, we get...whatever Toucannon is doing.  It's one of the greatest disappointments of this generation, and considering the complaints I had in the top 15, that's saying a lot.  However, I won't place it any lower, simply because Toucannon, on its own merits, is cool.  I like its signature move, even if it's bad.   The design is perfectly fine.  But it being attached to Pikipek as the final form is devastating, and earns it this spot, in the same way as Incineroar.

8) Togedemaru - My usual complaint about regional rodents.  Togedemaru is more battle-worthy, but that almost frustrates me more because it's just not that interesting.  It's also associated with Sophocles, which means it loses any charm it could've had by being not related to him at all.

7) Crabominable line - My long-standing bias against Fighting types.   Ice/Fighting is a unique typing, but it does little to impress me on this one.  It's slow and lumbering and kind of unimpressive in design.  I guess it's supposed to be like the abominable snowman, but...why is it a crab?  I dunno, I'm probably being petty, but I don't like it.

6) Bruxish - Imagine being a person whose favorite type is Psychic type.   Imagine seeing all these really cute Pokemon being revealed, and building up your team, and just waiting for the Psychic type that will blow your mind.  Now imagine the first psychic type they reveal is Bruxish.  This weirdly colored fish with odd lips and and teeth.  I immediately decided to use the next revealed Psychic if I could, because this wasn't getting on the team.

5) Oranguru - Oops, and here's the next.  It's a monkey!  You love those, right Steve?  Oh wait, I hate them.  Oranguru does nothing for me, but frustrated me more than Bruxish because somehow, after the first Psychic wasn't interesting, the second was somehow worse.  It should not have been like this.

4) Passimian - But what do I dislike more than inelegant Psychic types? Fighting types.  Passimian is a sport-themed monkey that is also a fighting type. Honestly, we should be stunned it's not #1, but if there's anything I dislike more than something completely opposed to what I like, it's something that changes what I enjoy into something I hate.

3) Ultra-Necrozma - In the same way Lando-T counts as its own thing because of differences between forms, Ultra Necrozma counts as its own separate entity that is terrible.  I debated Zeraora, because I already don't like it, but that seemed unfair (and also would not rank this high).  I debated putting this above a few things at least, but I feel like it deserves this spot.  Because it sucks. Psychic/Dragon legend.   You all wanted to complain about Solgaleo/Lunala being Psychic-type, and I agreed because yeah, that is a common legend typing and variety is nice, but how did this thing get away with both Psychic and Dragon but no one else is complaining?  That's literally the two most common legend typings at the same time!  It's because it's Dragon and you all love Dragons, isn't it?  Hypocrites.  The ability is really only good in specific situations, requiring super-effective coverage to truly shine, which means there's probably plenty that can wall it based on coverage gaps or 4 move slot syndrome.  It's also one point of speed away from matching things like Mewtwo, meaning it's going to be easily outpaced by certain threats and annihilated.  Its signature Z-move also does absolutely nothing interesting beyond high damage, reminding us all how worthless that mechanic was in the grand scheme.  Oh but, don't worry, in the game it'll be way higher than your average party level by this point in the game, get +1 to all stats, and have stupid good coverage options that allows it to OHKO everything you have all the time, unless you abuse Rotom Powers, so if you don't like that mechanic, too bad, get used to them, fucker.  And this isn't even truly tearing into the design.  From a weird alien monster, to a cool form where its armor has fused with the box legends to control them, and finally...glowy dragon. Riveting.  And to cap it off, its role in USUM is fairly meaningless, and it takes away focus from the far more interesting situations with Lillie's family, and instead brings all attention to "LOOK AT THIS COOL DRAGON!" that is not really that cool at all.  Without the focus on the characters that made SuMo work, you can basically say that USUM being bad was largely this thing's fault, because it's the kind of monster that's all flash and no substance.

2) Bewear line - UGH.  Okay, red pandas are adorable.  So the Pokemon based on an adorable thing should be adorable, right?  It is not.  It is horrific, and it's based on a "mascot" that wears a suit.  It's dead stare, obscene strength where it's noted to be able to snap people in half from hugs, and generally unsettling nature and just...awful.  I really don't like it.  Stufful is at least a little cuter, but the weird tag sticking out of its butt is a constant reminder that this is a creature which should not be.  But wait!  This is only #2!  What could possibly be worse than something that is a crime against nature?

1) Shiinotic - The complete and utter ruination of a Pokemon I could not have been more excited for.  Morelull is such a cute and precious creature, and it evolved into this horrific nightmare alien baby in a literal diaper.  Why would you take such an adorable and lovely creature, and turn it into this?  I have never felt such visceral hatred for a final form of an evolutionary line in all my life.  Morelull should've been beautiful.  And if we hadn't shifted to mega evolutions and Z-moves and all this, maybe I could've hoped one day for a Gen 4 scenario that offered different evolution paths or further evolution.   At least then it could've been a Golbat situation, or a Glalie.  But instead, this is it, probably forever. Morelull will only ever be this freak-ass alien baby in a literal diaper, and will never realize the beautiful potential it had.  Tragic.