#BIG LONG POST WARNING

[biitchcakes]

The Exes of Jessica Drew: Jerry Hunt

After escaping Hydra, Jessica lives on her own in London, desiring to be in control of her own life, to have independence for the first time, while at the same time learning her true origins, and learning how to live amongst people. However, due to the lack of control she had over her pheromones, she has an extra barrier socially ⸺ those attracted to her risk becoming obsessed, while those who wouldn't be into her, instead find her revolting and unsettling.

This makes finding a job next to impossible. So, Jess relies on stealing to eat. When she refuses to do so one night, she's ironically discovered by the police for trespassing after hours. Or, who she assumes to be the police. Turns out the man named Jerry Hunt works at Scotland Yard for S.H.I.E.L.D.

Later on, after only two more chance encounters ⸺ the first where she nearly kills him, and the latter of which she saves his life, Jerry becomes obsessed with her. I personally always assume this is a mixture of her uncontrolled pheromones with each encounter ( so he's just doused with it while he's around her, doesn't get it, and thinks those are his personal feelings ) and then just the fact he's a general cretin. You'll see what I mean as we go on.

Look at his partner's face lmfao me too pal, me too.

To those perhaps unaware, Jessica's pheromones only work if she's around someone. They don't linger, even if she specifically uses them to manipulate someone, the thoughts stop the moment the pheromones in the air do. So, two whole weeks later ? That's aaaaall him.

Naturally, the creep followers her to America, much to the shock and confusion of Jessica. As, all that's happened between them was: he attempted to arrest her, she escaped, they encountered each other again and she nearly kills him with a light pole ( lol ) but saves him, runs, later they both stop a burglary where he gets shot with a laser, and she saves him by taking him to the hospital. That's it !!! Jfc !!! 🚩🚩🚩🚩

Below is when she sees him again over five thousand miles away in a different country during a battle with Morgan Le Fey. Even makes the comment to himself once he finds her that he "won't let her get away again." 😐

After she ( and Magnus ) defeat Morgan for the time being, Jess and Jerry share a kiss, Jessica thinking now this is what love actually is. I headcanon that once she escapes Hydra, she "researches" humanity by reading books, watching movies and TV shows, and so she ends up with some unhealthy views of what love is. How often can you think of a stalking being portrayed as romantic ? How common is a young woman in her early 20's or 30's the romantic lead to a man who is nearly two, sometimes maybe even three decades her senior ?

** ( note: just want to add that obviously not all these relationship age gaps are inherently unhealthy, like someone in their 30's with someone in their 50's. . . it's just that Jessica would see these massive age differences as more of the norm; she is only anywhere from 18 - 22 canonically here, whereas Jerry is obviously much older ⸺ I wouldn't say old, but probably late 30's to mid 40's if I had to hazard a guess. )

For the first couple of weeks, things between the pair are good. But it's not long until they're not. . .

Soon, Jerry becomes fed up with Jessica's independence. How she is constantly there to save him, instead of him being able to save her. He's annoyed with her love and protection, and just wants her to do as he says. He seems to loathe her Spider-Woman persona ( something Jess herself comments on ).

And gets mad at her as above and below all because she wants to take care of him. He's the one dating someone with super powers who is constantly attempting to do good. . . what did he think was going to happen ?

Your Casual Reminder: he was not protesting to her that he wanted her to wait for him to recover, he told her he didn't want her getting involved. He is lying to her to make her feel bad !!!

( Side note: how cute is she walking through the door though ??? He deserves a red flag just for remaining mad when she's so adorable in the doorway. )

So, after this rocky encounter, the two have a date on the beach. But, out of nowhere, Jessica sees a woman flying in the sky. A woman dressed like a moth, a bug like her. And so, she takes off after the other in hopes for answers. Jerry knows Jessica's whole reason for coming to America in the first place is to learn more about herself and her past. Sure, he can be annoyed she took off in the middle of a night together. But. . . this is how he reacts when she lands back on the ground:

Treats her like a fuckin' child !!! 🙄 BASICALLY CALLS HER A FREAK !!! 😤

And she notices this, starts second guessing things. . .

I have to include this because ⸺

"She NEEDS me ! >:((((" Proceeds to get lost and immediately abducted the panel after this.

All you need to know about the sequence below is that Jerry has been gassed and is currently passed out, he is fantasising:

😐 could have fantasised literally any other fairy tale. . . . . he "sometimes wishes" she's more like Little Red Riding Hood. . . . . I hate it here 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 ( I guess if I give him the benefit of the doubt, the villains they are currently with are the Brothers Grimm but. . . Could have done like, Cinderella or smth idk. . . )

( also not the writers lowkey roasting him a couple times LOLJDKGS "He finally did it. He's a hero. He's saved Jessica. ... For once." kills me any time I think about it pls. )

Also above is him after waking up like ASFKS "ooooh noooo it's THEM ! The people Jess SAVED ME FROM ! 😩"

Below is their first good bye, Jessica declaring after that since both the men in her life have now left ( Magnus becomes a Vegas magician and she assumes Jerry is off back to London ), she "finally has that independence" she's "always desired".

"I thought the connection was more ethereal" 🙄🙄🙄 eat sand.

And idk read this as you will. . . . . but him offering Jess his apartment, saying she has to let him stay "whenever he's in the area", and then specifically choosing to stay in town just to be near Jessica ??? Seems suspicious u ask me. . . . .

That "dizzy blonde" is his new, perfectly competent S.H.I.E.L.D partner. Later at HER beach house, Jerry makes her dinner ( he never made Jessica dinner 🙄 ). This is where they are abducted by a cult, only to be rescued while unconscious by Spider-Woman and The Shroud ( though Jerry highly suspects that Jess is the one who saves him ).

He ends up going over to visit Jessica sometime after ( the bruise is from an unrelated fight ). Below is their final goodbye.

Just dismisses her feelings after like they mean nothing, like he never cared in the first place !!! Further confirms that by saying "that was easier than I thought it would be. Somehow, when I saw her again, all the feelings I felt for her seemed like distant memories. . ." !!! 😡😤

For the record, that "dizzy blonde" is the other woman waiting for him in the car.

Years later, in an act of desperation to find Mattie Franklin, Jessica contacts Jerry for the first time since. Bendis may have tried to erase Jerry in his origin rewrite ( even calling him Jeff here in the next panel, and this is a few years before the rewrite ), but this little nugget still exists.

This is the last time they've been in contact.

[jesncin]

A Failure of Asian Lois Lane: Pt 2: My Adventures with Superman, an honest discussion

If I had to pinpoint the fundamental problem with My Adventures with Superman's depiction of Asian Lois Lane it's in their attempt to subvert the classic two person love triangle: Lois loves Superman but is indifferent to Clark Kent. In MAWS, Lois insta-crushes on Clark Kent and hates Superman. In the show's attempt to make sense of this dynamic, Lois' Asian identity becomes at odds with a story meant to touch on xenophobia and immigrant themes.

Let's have an honest discussion about a show that made fandom cheer as an Asian character removed the one thing that made her most visibly Asian.

Disclaimer: While I am of East Asian descent, I am not Korean. I'll be discussing general Asian diasporic experiences but the specifics of Korean culture are outside of my knowledge (as usual I can't and don't speak for every Asian person ever, I am 1 opinion). Secondly, I'll be pulling from my personal experiences every now and then particularly pertaining to being a butch Asian person watching this show. It'll be a mix of formal analysis and personal anecdotes. Thirdly, this isn't an exhaustive analysis of MAWS Lois' character. We'll be sticking to what I consider is relevant to themes of Asian identity and immigration. Lastly once more, I do not believe the MAWS crew had malicious intent in any (of what I consider) poor writing decisions. We're here to analyze and challenge these writing decisions.

Please read Pt 1 of Asian Lois analysis that covers the comics, as it provides the groundwork for the ideas expanded on in this essay.

We need to talk about Lois' design. In the follow up to MAWS' release, people have been speculating on Lois' ethnicity. CBR writes that the show has "some fans believing that she's at least part Asian" and other articles have the show crew confirm Lois Korean heritage via her hanbok outfit in episode 4. The existence of these articles, my own anecdotal experience of streaming MAWS with Asian friends, and comments I receive from people asserting Lois' Asian identity was never explored in the show ("you'd only know she was Asian if you searched up articles about it"), tells me we have a case of an ambiguously designed Asian woman. Tangentially many people had no idea Livewire, the white haired and blue eyed woman, was meant to be South Asian.

There's a lot to be said about art styles that don't properly stylize ethnic features, but for the purposes of our analysis that means the writing has to deliver the heavy lifting where the design fails. This is the opposite case of American Alien: a comic that relied on the art to portray Asian Lois.

Let's start at episode 3. In it, Lois finally manages to conduct a private interview with the elusive Superman. When she asks where Superman comes from, how his powers work, etc- Superman comes up empty. In this version, Superman can't talk to his Kryptonian father (Jor-El)'s hologram because of a language barrier, so he knows very little about his alien heritage. He leaves Lois, assuring her he's here to help the people of Metropolis. When Clark Kent congratulates her for interviewing Superman, Lois rebuffs him. "Oh, he's [Superman's] a liar." smirking as she says it. This is the start of the Lois Hates Superman For Being a Liar arc.

I'd like you to consider the optics of an Asian American woman interviewing an alien immigrant who honestly told her he doesn't know where he comes from and is still figuring out who he is, only for her to think he's lying. Because she didn't get the answers she wanted. I can't help but think about my own experiences, where I was asked "but where do you really come from?" or "okay but what's your real name?" I think of my Asian American peers who would honestly say they're from Texas or Atlanta and get a vindictive "you're lying" as a response. People want to hear you're from China. They want their biases confirmed. I think about how I honestly can't tell you where my elders hailed from, because of cultural genocide and language barriers. This scene makes me uncomfortable, but let's press on.

Episode 4 is where Lois is most visibly Korean. In this episode the trio of Lois, Clark, and Jimmy are tasked with interviewing rich techbro Prof. Ivo of Amazo tech at an investor event. It's a prom episode. Lois wears a "hanbok inspired gala outfit" designed by Dou Hong and Jane Bak in a deliberate move to showcase Lois' Korean heritage. Bak comments "I remember feeling strongly about wanting to inject some aspect of her Korean heritage without disrupting her characteristic as a spunky and resourceful intern/reporter." while the wording poorly implies that Korean heritage is at odds with Lois' spunky personality- I do want to challenge a couple of the decisions that went into this design.

I want to acknowledge as an Asian butch that there are many ways to sport traditional garments and it's okay to mix and match to figure out what reclaiming culture (and your comfort) mean to you. However we're talking about the opportunity to showcase culture in an episode of a fictional animated show. I also encourage cultural gender expression that thinks outside of western white people's idea of gender (in both fiction and real life).

Whenever artists try to do a non-conforming spin on a cultural outfit, I always have to ask: "what standard of masculinity are we basing this on?" It's clear that MAWS is pushing for a "tomboy" Lois, and this gala outfit is an extension of that. But what's the standards of masculinity in a Korean lens? Men wear hanbok too, so why can't Lois imitate how Korean men wear hanbok, by traditionally accompanying her look with baji (baggy and loose pants)? This design notably has tight pants that hug the form, instead. I know the hanbok look has been modernized in and out of Korea in many ways, but in a show where you have the opportunity to showcase cultural non-conformity, I feel more thought should be put into the outfit outside of a potentially western lens- or the idea that cultural heritage of any sort "disrupts" a character's personality.

Now that we've discussed the design of the outfit, let's look into the narrative role it plays in episode 4. While we can celebrate cultural representation in media, I consider it important to ask "what is this media's relationship with the cultures it represents?" and the answer for Lois' hanbok in this episode is: nothing! It's an aesthetic acknowledgement of culture. "Hanbok" or "Korea" are not terms explicitly mentioned in the show. When Prof Ivo offers beautiful women as compensation for Clark to keep quiet about his company's corruption, Ivo looks over to Lois- who spills food on her clothes, and remarks that she's unclassy. She's not judged for wearing othering cultural clothes- which would have tied nicely into Clark choosing to be silent on issues of Ivo displacing a neighborhood, making Clark realize his complacency actively hurts marginalized people. Despite wearing cultural outfits being a political statement in America, nobody reacts to it. It's clear what the actual goal of this scene is: Clark looks cool for defending his "tomboy" crush.

In a scene blatantly made for fanservice, Lois offers to sew up Clark's ripped tuxedo by undressing her hanbok so she can reach her little sewing kit. Lois never wears her hanbok again afterwards. This scene haunts me. It's a scene that tells you that fanservice is more important than cultural representation. It's a scene meant to set up that Clark gives his tuxedo to Lois later on for warmth. Lois removing her hanbok is meant for not one, but two fanservice scenes.

Lois talks to Clark at the stairwell. She opens up about her estranged relationship with her father, how her mom has passed away, and how she's been an intern at the Daily Planet for a year with no sign of being hired. This makes the narrative decision for Lois to lose her hanbok far more tragic. Lois being a diasporic child with so few familial ties to her culture would mean garments like her hanbok would hold a lot of sentimental value! It's hard enough finding a cultural outfit that fits with your butchess (many of my cultural outfits are hand made to fit my form and gender expression), and yet Lois unceremoniously loses her hanbok. You would think in Lois opening up about being distant from her parents that Clark would be able to culturally relate with the distance he has with his Kryptonian parents. But the narrative opportunity to link their immigrant experiences is not taken, because the show simply doesn't recognize the parallel between the two.

Instead MAWS pushes for the Lois Thinks Superman is A Liar thing again. A far less narratively substantial and fundamentally flawed arc. This episode starts with Lois calling Superman a liar and has Lois ranting about him "dodging her questions" (remember, he was honest with her about not knowing his heritage) thereby rendering her interview unpublishable. She resorts to conspiracy tabloids giddily provided by Jimmy for information. She rather cruelly says "nobody normal believes in aliens". We are uncomfortably seeing the build up of Lois being allegorically xenophobic towards alien immigrants- a Lois on a quest to out an alien before he's ready. This is their justification for flipping the love triangle. Lois loves cuteboy Clark from work, and hates Superman for not confirming her biases that would help her publish an interview that would promote her at work. What a love story.

To wrap this episode up: Prof Ivo ends up challenging Superman to a fight so he can flex his Parasite suit to investors, only for it to backfire, destroy his reputation, and greatly damage the Amazo building (remember this it'll come back later). The episode ends with Lois discovering Superman is Clark Kent. Anecdotally, I was so frustrated with the treatment of Lois' hanbok in this episode, that I went online to search if anyone else felt similarly. All I was met with was fandom thirsting over the stairwell scene where Clark and Lois were undressing. Consider the optics of an Asian character who removed the most visible signifier of her heritage (the outfit far more culturally specific where her character design was racially ambiguous) and how people cheered because that meant they could see her in her undergarments. They can happily thirst over the body they desired now that the othering cultural garment was out of the way. It's just clothes after all. Diversity clothes. This show continues to be very uncomfortable, and a little too real.

In episode 5 Lois is passive aggressive to Clark and Superman, trying to get Clark to admit he's Superman and vice versa. She eventually confronts Clark by jumping off the roof of the Daily Planet, causing Clark to fly down and save her. She proclaims she doesn't want to be friends with him anymore for "lying" to her. This episode caused a huge ruckus online as people were divisive over Lois' actions. Some defended Lois, saying that "women should be messy" and "it's not Lois Lane if she doesn't do something crazy for journalism!". Ignoring that opinion's very flandarized view of Lois' character for a second, let's thoroughly discuss how this relates to themes of immigration and Asian identity.

By this episode, Lois had known Clark for 5 days. In that time she's entitled and angry to the point of friend-breaking-up with him because he wouldn't disclose his marginalized identity to her within less than a week. "A secret is another type of lie!" Lois says, regardless of her lying on sight to both Jimmy and Clark upon meeting them at work, and continued to lie in episode 3 (after promising not to in ep 1) about her intentions to interview Superman. Only Lois gets to lie in this relationship. The hypocrisy of her character is never recognized. Clark calls out Lois for having previously admitted to him that she wanted to dox Superman and "publish all his secrets. MY secrets!". Keep in mind that when Clark brings up Superman feeling uncomfortable about his secrets being published by Lois in episode 3, Lois' response was "yeah, but HE doesn't know that's my plan!". She explicitly admits that she would publish private information about Superman without his permission. But when she's confronted by Clark in episode 5 about that, her response is "I would never do that to you, I didn't know it was you until after the gala. How could you think that?" It's only through conflict of interest that Lois spares Superman of being doxed. He's supposed to magically know this. Extremely cool of Asian American Lois to be entitled to an alien immigrant's identity within four business days.

Episode 6 wraps up the Lois Hates Superman For Being A Liar arc, so let's quickly summarize what happens. Lois and Clark set aside their fight to find Jimmy in an abandoned scientific facility (he's being cared for by Mallah and the Brain). Jimmy admits (very smugly) to having known Clark was Superman all along because he kept breaking stuff. As the trio are chased by killer robots, they emotionally confront Clark for not trusting them with his alien secret- despite neither Lois or Jimmy creating a safe environment for Clark to come out to either of them (Jimmy outed Superman as an alien on his video channel). The moral of the story is Clark should have trusted his friends anyway, because lying is bad. Not once does the narrative hold Jimmy or Lois accountable.

We have Black Jimmy Olsen and Asian American Lois Lane being entitled to their white passing friend Clark Kent's marginalized alien identity. A joke is made at Jimmy's expense that he doesn't understand bigotry, and Lois clearly doesn't understand why an immigrant wouldn't be forthcoming about his identity to his hostile friends at work. This is how that arc ends.

I'd like to quickly compare this Lois Hates Superman For Being A Liar arc to my favorite scene in Superman Smashes the Klan. In this story, Superman debuts as a strongman superhero instead of an alien, suppressing his more othering powers to pass as human. He jumps instead of flying. Roberta, the Chinese American girl targeted by the Klan, calls Superman out for not using his full abilities to save people who could've gotten hurt. Yet, as she's calling him out, Roberta understands Superman's fear of not wanting to be othered. She sees the way her father dresses up to pass as an accomplished scientist, how he tells her mom to speak in English, how her brother makes racist jokes at their family's expense to fit in. She's not mad at Superman, she's mad at the world that would be scared of Superman if he flew.

"I wish it were okay for you to fly!" Roberta yells. This is a beautifully empathetic scene that shows a marginalized person frustrated at a systemic problem, instead of blaming the marginalized for being marginalized. It's the empathy and perspective we're missing from MAWS.

Episode 7 is a metatextual episode where MAWS addresses how their Lois isn't like the other Loises you've seen before. Lois and Jimmy are brought on to a team of alternate dimension Loises to find interdimensional troublemaker Mxy. In seeing the other more accomplished Loises in the multiverses, Lois ends up feeling inadequate about her self worth...in connection to being Superman's girlfriend, of course. Because Superman only loves Lois Lane after she wins a couple of Pulitzers, right?

I'm open to a version of Lois Lane that isn't as accomplished as she's historically known to be. I can like a Lois that's young and idealistic, like in Girl Taking Over. It's hard not to compare this episode to 2022's Everything Everywhere All At Once, another multiverse story about an Asian American woman who is the "greatest failure" version of all the parallel iterations of herself. But while that movie talks in depth about themes of generational trauma, expectations, and self potential within Asian immigrant families, MAWS uses the multiverse to say that while their Lois is less accomplished, she's still a good girlfriend to Superman! Why should I bother giving grace to a different take on Lois only to get such a superficial story out of it. This is metatextual-ly frustrating.

Why is it, the minute we get an adaptation of an Asian Lois in something as prominent as an animated show, we get "the worst Lois in the multiverse"? Lois is historically depicted as excelling in her field. She's an award winning journalist, jaded and mean from having to work her way to the top. She owns her sexuality, she's the experienced city girl. Instead of taking the opportunity to inform Lois' jadedness and excellence with her Asian American identity like in Girl Taking Over, instead we have an Asian Lois that's simply incompetent at her job. Why are we now adapting historically accomplished women into adorkable quirky screw ups? She went from being sexually confident to being insecure over sending a text to Clark. Is it more relateable to see an Asian woman that way? Is it too intimidating to see a butch Asian woman who excels at her job? Who's romantically confident? This is what MAWS would rather do than humanize her excellence or her failures.

Are you tired of an ambiguously designed Asian American woman reporter being xenophobic to Superman in MAWS? Well too bad because episode 8 introduces us to Vicki Vale, voiced by Andromeda Dunker (an Asian actress), with explicit notes in leaked concept art to design this character as "Indian American or Asian American" (as if those are mutually exclusive...) inspired off of real Asian reporter Connie Chung. Vicki wants to write a hit piece on Superman and interviews Prof Ivo's assistant, Alex, for a negative biased opinion on Superman (to Lois and Jimmy's dismay).

This episode is where it's abundantly clear the writers don't know how to talk about xenophobia. They'll make nods to xenophobic rhetoric, but they don't know what the rhetoric means. In response to Alex's derisive opinion on Superman destroying Amazo tower thereby bankrupting the company and putting "thousands out of work", Vicki responds "Superman wiped out good American jobs". This is a misplaced nod to Replacement Theory: the fear white people have over people of color, but particularly immigrants, coming to "their" country to "steal" jobs they're entitled to, ultimately becoming demographically replaced by non-white cultures and people. This rhetoric is also commonly applied to Jewish people.

The problem is, that's not what Superman did in the show. Amazo tech was going to go bankrupt because of Prof Ivo's poor business decisions. Prof Ivo made the mistake of antagonizing Superman and ruining his own image. Superman damaging the building came from his fight with Prof Ivo, not a deliberate attempt to get hired (if anything don't the building repair people have new jobs now?). No one's job is tangibly being taken by Superman. None of this is called out by Lois or Jimmy, who know the full story and were even the ones to attack Alex for helping Prof Ivo (let's be real the writers forgot this happened). In fact, Lois and Jimmy don't react to Vicki's Replacement Theory remark at all! It's like they don't even recognize she said something with racist implications!

Jimmy and Lois meet up with Superman who learns the people of Metropolis are becoming scared of him (from causing some recent property damage in an attempt to hunt a criminal down) and writing mean comments on social media. A user writes "he should go back to where he came from." This is a transparently xenophobic comment. It doesn't work in the context of the show because of a huge plot hole: Superman never publicly came out as an alien to Metropolis. No verified newspaper has explicitly made this fact known. The only source that mentions this is Jimmy's conspiracy channel, which the citizens of Metropolis are apparently treating as fact- therefore (if we're to believe this is how people knew) this means Jimmy absolutely outed Superman as an alien without Clark's consent.

So how does Asian American Lois respond to seeing her alien boyfriend go through xenophobia? She says "Take a break from being Superman and just try being normal." To be fair, the narrative does portray Lois saying the word "normal" as charged (only here at least, not in episode 4), and when she tells Superman to "take a break" it's because he had been overworking himself after suddenly unlocking the ability to hear when someone's in trouble. But was this really the response Asian American Lois thought to say? To her boyfriend going through such explicit xenophobia? At this point it's abundantly clear that racism doesn't exist in the world of MAWS. Being "normal" is to be human. And to be marginalized- or as the show likes to call it "different" is only reserved for white passing alien man Clark (along with gorilla and robot that was once a white man). Any hope of an immigrant parallel between Asian American Lois and Superman should be fully discarded at this point.

After the events of the previous episode where Superman is kidnapped by Task Force X, in episode 9 Lois regrets being allegorically xenophobic to Clark. At least I think that's what's happening. I often describe MAWS as a show that's extremely squeamish with getting political- and I believe the vagueness of Lois' Dark Night of the Soul moment reflects that. "I said awful things to Clark. I doubted him when he needed us most. I was wrong and now he's gone..." Lois says as she cries to Jimmy. Is this dialogue implying she shouldn't have told a sleep deprived Superman to take a break? What did she doubt about him? This dialogue is purposefully vague about Lois being xenophobic. They've universalized Clark's immigrant identity to such a point that they can't keep their argument consistent. Was Lois in the wrong for telling her overworked superhero boyfriend to take a break? Or was she being xenophobic for telling him to lay low for a while? Or is she regretful for hating Superman for Being A Liar? How is that possible when the narrative sided with her and Jimmy in episode 6? It's woefully non-committal. Regardless, the intent of this scene is to pay off in the climax of the episode.

In the end Superman has a showdown with Prof Ivo Parasite, who has grown into a large godzilla-esque kaiju creature. In typical MAWS fashion, the show is more interested in a surface level nod to Asian media instead of engaging with the specific themes of nature and post-war trauma kaijus and godzilla serve in Japanese culture. I digress. Using Jimmy's massive social media platform, Lois delivers a hope speech that instantly heals Metropolis of its xenophobia towards Superman.

Lois says to the people of Metropolis.: "People have told you to fear Superman because he's different from us. But we humans are capable of causing hurt and pain too. [...] Because we want to punish those who don't look or act like us." I mean this in the most polite way possible, but who on Earth thought this line was a good idea for Asian American Lois Lane to deliver when talking about white passing man Superman?? Why did the writers feel the need to specify Superman not looking like us. I simply don't understand how nobody considered the terrible optics of this.

After Superman defeats Parasite, episode 10 is about Clark, Lois, and Jimmy celebrating Thanksgiving at the Kents' house. At the Daily Planet, the trio of interns are promoted to finally being reporters. It only took Clark and Jimmy a few weeks while it took Lois a whole year! Now feels like a good time to remind you that Lois as a character was historically frustrated at sexism in the industry and despised how men were treated better than her (including Clark Kent). Well in MAWS episode 4, Lois has no idea why she isn't getting picked up to be a reporter. According to the narrative, and Perry White's dialogue ("you're terrible interns, so the only thing to do was to make you reporters")- she simply didn't break enough rules yet! Thank goodness she had the help of two men to show her how it's done! This is a pretty clear case of character regression. Keep in mind that in American Alien, at the very least that Asian Lois still underwent sexism, and I gave it the grace that the story could eventually expand to talking about both sexism and racism if it were to continue. But in MAWS? I don't think even sexism exists, let alone racism. Somehow Thanksgiving does, though.

Half the final episode is spent on Thanksgiving shenanigans where everyone's trying to be polite but they dislike Lois' stoic dad (Sam Lane)- who Clark recognizes as the Asian American xenophobic man who tortured him in Task Force X's government bunkers. A parallel is pulled between Sam and Jor-El, two fathers with different ideals when it comes to protecting their kids. There's a huge missed opportunity to have Lois and Sam speak in Korean with each other, to create a parallel in the language barrier between Clark and Jor-El. Maybe Lois isn't as fluent in Korean as Sam is depending on how culturally connected she is. Oh, but the existence of non-English human languages would imply some sort of minority, who would be marginalized, and we can't have anyone outside of aliens and a gorilla be marginalized in MAWS. Non-English languages in America are political, after all. Oh, but they also got a Filipino actor to voice Sam. Generously Lois could be Filipino-Korean but if we're being truly honest it's clear the MAWS crew think Asians are interchangeable.

Let's talk about Sam. In terms of optics, it's already not great that the main villains who represent the face of America's secret government xenophobia are Amanda Waller and Sam Lane- a Black woman and an Asian man. What's doubly notable is that of the antagonistic villains, Sam and Vicki are the most xenophobic. When Sam tortures Superman, he shouts "When is the invasion? How many of your kind will come through this time?" without a hint of irony. Reminder that historically, Asian immigrants were (and still are) considered invaders in America. They are the perpetual foreigner. MAWS loves making nods to Superman being an immigrant allegory, and yet they can't fathom the human beings that allegory is inspired by.

It's not impossible to portray people of color or even Asian American characters specifically being xenophobic. In Superman Smashes the Klan, Dr. Lee is initially antagonistic towards Superman but we understand why. We see him trying desperately to assimilate into whiteness, to the point he rejects assistance from his Black neighbors who help put out a fire in their backyard (that the Klan started as a threat). We understand why he's a character who would turn on fellow people of color, or fellow immigrants, in order to fit in. For MAWS, if we had a flashback scene where Sam was serving in the military and fought against Asian soldiers, showcasing his loyalty to America over his own people- that would narratively explain why an Asian American character would be xenophobic. Writing bigotry from within marginalized communities requires specificity. Otherwise, you've just got a diverse villain. In the end, Lois defends her immigrant alien boyfriend from her xenophobic Asian American dad.

Whenever I bring up how MAWS fails its characters of color but especially Asian Lois, I'm met with people telling me that "hopefully they'll make Lois more Asian in S2" or "they'll just retcon the bad writing in S1" and I hope this thorough analysis on the treatment of Lois' Asian American identity can help enlighten why I personally think that's impossible. The entire concept is flawed from the very beginning. The story MAWS wants to tell is at odds with Lois' Asian identity. In trying to justify an Asian Lois that loves Clark but hates Superman, they never considered what it means to hate Superman. To hate the alien immigrant. The alien other. What it means for an Asian American character to do all that. MAWS is a show that wants to have its cake and eat it too, they want a diverse world without racism or sexism but still want to reap the clout of lightly portraying Superman as "different".

They'll make the most surface level nods to Lois' Korean heritage- but remove all of the cultural context from them. They can't be bothered to acknowledge the inherit political identity being a person of color means in America, they're too busy doing that with Clark. I'm told "MAWS didn't have the time to go over Lois' Asian identity, it's a 10-episode series that focuses on Clark's alienation", and to that I say the potential of an immigrant love story and time frame was there, they simply chose to go another direction.

When I bring up things like Superman Smashes the Klan, Girl Taking Over, and Everything Everywhere All At Once, it's not to say MAWS should have used those stories as reference when crafting their allegory. All of those specific media were released while MAWS was deep in production already. Girl Taking Over was released the same year MAWS premiered. What I am saying is that we, as the audience, should have higher standards. Because better media portraying Asian American characters already exist. Better media portraying Asian characters relating to Superman mythos already exists. What we're doing when we celebrate the breadcrumbs of representation that is MAWS, is allowing mediocrity to exist uncritically.

Shows like Wednesday are known in the discourse for their portrayal of Black characters as being functionally white, yet that kind of scrutiny doesn't seem known for MAWS. The diverse reimagining of Lois and Jimmy is so poorly handled in MAWS that it would honestly make more sense if Jimmy and Lois were white here. The joke made at Jimmy's expense that he doesn't understand bigotry would be actually funny if it was calling out his white privilege. If, for whatever reason, the writers are compelled to write a xenophobic Lois that unlearns her bigotry and falls for Superman, I'd rather she be white for that kind of story. I wouldn't personally root for that kind of couple, but at least it'd make sense. It's a common joke among DCAU fans of color that we like to headcanon Lex Luthor as Black, or Lois Lane and Terry Mcginnis as Asian. It's a cruel irony that the one time we finally have a canonized Asian Lois in an animated show, she honestly feels and acts whiter than actual white Lois ever was.

I mentioned in Pt 1 of my essay that Asian Lois and Superman has the potential to be a definitive love story. One that considers both their backgrounds as immigrants, othered in different ways by American society. The story of a jaded but accomplished Asian city girl who finds hope to be herself again in an alien immigrant superhero. One where she gets the courage to wear traditional clothes again, to practice languages she once suppressed. The story of Superman, an alien immigrant, finding hope in someone with a painfully similar experience.

As of writing, we have yet to see this dynamic in any canon DC media. A second season of MAWS will not give us that story.

[catastrophicalcat]

Catwoman's Love Interests, Ranked

No. 1. Batman. Predictable? Perhaps. Correct choice? Absolutely. They work purrfectly together. I may roll around to write a similar post for Bruce, but from Selina's perspective, he is an equal to her, values her independence, and helps her believe in herself.

(From the double date in Batman (2016) # 37, where Lois is wearing Selina's outfit)

No. 2-10. Selina herself. She is independent! But seriously, one of the things I loved the most from her 90s run was how not romance-focused she was! It was a lot of fun and refreshing to see female main character just not give a fuuuuck about romance.

(Look at her, just slapping this creep away as a squirrel laughs at him! From Catwoman (1993) #30).

No. 11. Christopher Castillo "Blondie". From Selina's adventures in Rome, the Blond was enamoured, charming, and helpful. Also, it wasn't clear if the attraction was truly reciprocal, or if Selina just got a fun vacation boy toy.

(Catwoman, When in Rome #6)

No. 12 Dean Hadley. I am not sure he really qualifies as a love interest, since I don't think that Selina was into him, but at least he died heroically trying to protect her.

(Can't compete with Batman, dies tragically, from Catwoman (2018) # 34)

No. 13 to 20. Selina on her own some more! Can't get enough of this girl on her own! Love the storyline where she unknowingly has a crush on a serial killer in a dog mask. You know what she did when she found out the truth about her crush? That's right, clawed the shit out of him!

(Catwoman (1993) #53. I think this storyline counts as her loving herself than being into this guy - she barely had any qualms about dumping him once she found out; none of that "but maybe I can fix him" for this cat!)

No. 21. The Riddler. Shocking choice, I know! But I'm thinking here of the Lonely City version - Batman is dead, time has passed, he made amends, they found each other. Doesn't work in other continuities, was fun here.

(Catwoman: Lonely City #3. The reveal that Eddie was a coke addict makes SO.MUCH.SENSE).

No. 22. James Thien. I guess he was fine. I didn't like it because her interest into him was really jarring - this was during the post-wedding break-up period when Selina was generally falling apart. But James was neither fish nor fowl. There wasn't enough development for her to be genuinely interested in him, and her interest was portrayed more like genuine interest than a random hook-up.

(Literally, I think that this is all the development there is! And then I don't remember what happened to him. Maybe he also died? That kind of seems to happen to her love interests a lot. Catwoman (2018) #12)

Nos. 22-90. Selina on her own some more! And Eiko. And others. Never enough of Selina being on her own! I also think that Eiko goes somewhere here probably, if not in my earlier "Selina on her own spot" - I just haven't read the New 52 run so I dunno. Other possible contenders in this range:

Onyx (but I don't think they had enough development)

The Trickster (Reddit tells me he's a Catwoman love interest but I don't remember it so it must have been neither good nor bad)

Spark (also new 52, so I dunno).

OK, this is where we get to bottom of the barrel, where unfortunately most other folks are. BTW, what's up with Selina having so many relationships with older mentor figures?

No. 91. Frank Baz. Some mafioso with whom Selina was hanging out in Italy. Ranked so low since he seems like a bad guy, there was a big age difference with her being really young, and he didn't do that much.

No. 91. Slam Bradley Sr. I think that Brubaker did a decent job making the romance between Selina and Slam Sr. work. I like how the run addressed how messy this relationship was, and how Slam was kind of preying on Selina's vulnerable emotional state. (Slam shouldn't have won that argument, but at least it was raised!) But unfortunately this is ranked so low since Slam becomes kind of a chump later on in the run and Selina's relationship with his son makes this very creepy.

(From Catwoman (2001) #17. Their relationship was actually pretty good in the beginning, but quickly got icky...)

No. 92. Wildcat/Ted Grant. I really like the backstory of Selina learning boxing from Wildcat. It's a sweet little bit setting up her eventual super-heroics, plus, Wildcat is awesome! He's a grumpy old man who is respected by everyone, even Batman (whom he also trained). Which is why I hated when Wildcat/Catwoman wrote her to have a crush on him. Gross! Did I mention that he's old?

(Catwoman/Wildcat #3. The art in this book is really 90s)

No. 92. Slam Bradley Jr. I totally get that hot people in costumes would have one night stands on rooftops after adrenaline rush situations. And the poor guy died right after sleeping with Selina! Nonetheless, ranked so low because it's sooo weird since she slept with his dad - which I think he knew - plus I'm pretty sure that their relationship started really antagonistic. Principles before hoes, bro! Also, not his fault but I don't like how he messed up Helena's paternity story some more.

(Catwoman (2001) #61. No idea why Selina tells the dad the story about how she banged his son?)

No. 93. Cat cult person who kidnapped Selina, dressed her up as princess Leia, and tried to marry her. Forgot this dude's name. Considering the stuff he did, he was a pretty nice dude. But - the stuff he did is pretty despicable!

(Catwoman #31. I really hated this storyline, so I feel like he should be lower, but I also really hated Stark and Valmont, so where can it go? Also not sure that kidnapping and forced marriage qualifies as a "love interest"; may rethink including him altogether but I also wanted to emphasize how much I don't like Stark or Valmont).

No. 94. Stark. Criminal who took Selina under his wing when she was still an underage sex worker, and slept with her. He's also a murderer. Pretty gross person overall, really creepy relationship.

(Selina's Big Score)

No. 95. Valmont. I really hate Valmont, OK? I wrote a whole giant post already about how much I hate him!

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Just thought of Wesper kid finding a rogue spider on the loose in the house, and because he knows his Pa doesnt like them, he traps it under a bowl.

But he doesnt know how to get the spider outside without it running off so he just leaves it under the bowl and puts a note on top

The note reads:

Spider - please put outside…

🕷️🚫

Wylan appreciated the hieroglyphics and left it for Jesper 🤣🤣

[habken]

your art looks like that of a really cool indie comic i would read forever

thank you that is so nice :')) one day.. one day i'll be living my comic making dreams

[yooniesim]

Now I want yall to explain this situation to me. So, I'm catching up on the finds blog by going through my likes, and I see a newish creator I reblogged from before has new cc. Great! I go to their patreon so I can double check what I already reblogged before I reblog all their posts I've missed, and what do I see? Some goddamn 3.50 early access on some really low quality looking hair edits. Which, ok, annoying but I'm used to it at this point, people go from free to EAcc all the time once they get the smallest traction, whatever. So then I go back to delete the old posts I reblogged from them, and what do I see?

nani the fuck. and those posts STILL say always free next to them, while the newer posts are just changed to "free" lmfao. like yall think ur slick but I'm this close not to promoting people I never heard of before cos ur wack for real. using always free, tagging my finds blog and/or using the hashtag and then quietly going paid after a couple posts is bonkers. and on top of that the cc is warped, twisted, and ugly! why

[monosanimegenericzone]

Hunter x Hunter: copium

imagine with me for a second that chrollo managed to return kortopi and shalnark's abilities before hisoka showed up.

this is your only warning: this is a long ass post

THINK ABOUT IT FOR A SECOND (coping so hard)

like idk where this mf went after the fight, but it would have been in chrollo's best interest to immediately return their abilities (more copium).

so let's just say he does (COPE). could Black Voice and Gallery Fake at their maximum potentials actually take hisoka down?

For one, we know that Shalnark has the secret Autopilot ability that he only uses in desperate situations. And that taps into an OBSCENE amount of aura being released all at once and for all argument's sake, it's basically super saiyan mode. Meaning he can probably fly.

For two, we don't (officially) know what Kortopi is capable of. But we know that guy has a reserve of aura that is capable of supplying copies of, lets assume, 200 rare items that have been taken all across the city (assumed 472 square miles). and they last for 24 hours. that isn't any kind of nen curse or condition, that is straight up just raw power.

am i thinking about this fight in detail? yes i am. am i going to actually write it? maybe!!

how i think it would play out logistically.

assuming hisoka doesn't know about autopilot, shalnark has the best opportunity to one shot the clown. however, depending on how fast hisoka is able to adapt to autopilot (going to refer to it as shark mode for the haha), it will cost shalnark.

if the fight gets drawn out, it could potentially kill him anyway. put him in nen debt so deep he will never financially recover.

that being said, shark mode can overpower bungee gum just like we saw it get overwhelmed in the fight with Razor: if the thing on the other end of the gum is stronger than the thing holding it (hisoka's arm), then hisoka will either lose that arm or disengage. That, or the sheer amount of aura will make it impossible for bungee gum to stick to anything. shark mode is definitely stronger than hisoka's bones.

Shalnark can set elimination targets but can he also include conditions? because shal has two win conditions: 'eliminate' hisoka, or stick him with the other needle. One is arguably easier than the other: so can he set shark mode to deactivate when one or the other is fulfilled or not? who knows.

Kortopi on the other hand shows hisoka up in quantity of aura big time. He's only held back by his need to use the toilet during this fight.

he doesn't have a lot of weapons in his immediate utility while out in the open, but he is still very much a utility. I discussed this in an earlier post, speculating about kortopi's bigger copies being able to be dragged and dropped wherever he pleases before conjuring, but say he could and bro just starts copy and pasting entire plots of land on top of hisoka.

And while kortopi doesn't have a lot in terms of physical strength, assuming he's been trained like the rest of the troupe, he knows how to utilize the basic concepts and could probably survive a hisoka punch directly to the face if he used Ken. Because again, Kortopi has an absolutely insane amount of aura.

i also enjoy the idea of kortopi using a broken iron fence post and using it as a super charged javelin. i just think thats funky~~

he can also cancel bungee gum placements if it is attached to any of his copies. He has baggy enough clothes that if hisoka attaches to it, he has more than enough 'armor' to duplicate and then throw away.

on top of that, kortopi can copy shalnark's antenna using his own aura, which means it costs shalnark nothing, and disguise fakes to try and fool hisoka. it might work once but it could buy them time/warm up the fight.

that being said. this is a lot of assumptions and there are two ways hisoka clean sweeps shalnark. with kortopi i think he might actually struggle, just because of kortopi's proficiency at conjuration. he only outclasses kortopi in the field of experience and physical strength. With shalnark though, there's two ways to get rid of shark mode: remove the antenna from shalnark's body or destroy his phone.

Hisoka probably knows this because he's had experience with manipulators and if he's observant enough, he'll pick up on it immediately. The main question is, could his gum actually get through the aura barrier to attach to the antenna or phone. If yes, he wins as soon as he attaches gum to the antenna.

The phone is a harder question because we don't know if shalnark has to be holding it or not to activate shark mode. This isn't a question i thought i'd ask but im asking it now for the sake of the plot of this fight.

it would be an interesting restriction: "i have to hold my phone while in this mode" H O W E V E R i think shalnark is smart enough to consider that sometimes shark mode will overstay its welcome and end up with him in a nen debt. so i think he has an override installed on the device so someone else can shut him down if he goes for too long. It's a risk and a reward. so in this scenario i think he doesn't hold the phone at all and instead hands it off to Chrollo who is there because he just returned their powers to them.

which is a very big risk. because hisoka then has an opening to circle back and snatch the phone from chrollo and destroy it, cancelling shalnark's entire game plan, but i think he'll be thoroughly distracted for at least a while.

i just think it would be interesting. and hisoka is a changed man now, he wouldn't get any schwing out of fighting them because he's so dead set on making chrollo suffer for killing him.

who would win? that depends on a lot of things. Shark mode has a warm up timer and kortopi has to defend them both in the 1.5 seconds that takes. if hisoka successfully slashes shal in that time frame, then yeah. kortopi has to 1v1 hisoka and will probably lose purely because of their surroundings.

but, if they're all running at maximum capacity then my money is on autopilot shalnark. Bro outpaces, out punches and out aura's hisoka in every field. There is no escape. Unless chrollo presses the (not canon but canon because i said so) override, then shalnark will chase that motherfucker to the ends of the earth until he dies.

i think it will cost shalnark his life if he does win. but it's worth it and much more satisfying than if he'd been completely defenseless cough togashi COUGH TOGASHI YOU DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT TO HIM. COUGH COUGH.

and kortopi gets to live.

[mndvx]

ZACK SNYDER’S JUSTICE LEAGUE (2021) ››› Peter Guinness as DeSaad ››› Ciarán Hinds as Steppenwolf ››› Ray Porter as Darkseid

[lucyvaleheart]

.

[dontmindme2600]

(TANGLE TOWER SPOILERS) Just finished Tangle Tower and it was fucking great and amazing and beautiful, but it also taught me something. I was right about the worst thing that could happen to your favorite character NOT being death. The worst thing that can happen to your favorite character is when you find out they never actually existed and was just a false persona created by another completely different character to cover up their crimes. Bro every interaction I had with Hawkshaw- and Hawkshaw in general- was FAKE AS FUCK I’m so sad

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

oh my god what happened?? are you alright? do you need any help?

alright i will preface this by saying that physically, i am COMPLETELY FINE. please don't worry about me too much, i promise i'm physically okay and it's not that bad

the rest is under the cut not for length but in case people want to skip past it (warning for people being unpleasant)

so the short story is that someone i thought was an online friend suddenly sent me a pretty awful DM before blocking me. they said a lot of genuinely hurtful things which wasn't really good for my mental state since they preyed on a bunch of my insecurities, and i thought that i could trust this person. i'm doing better now thanks to my irl friends, but recovery is a process as usual. i'm not sure if you can really help apart from being emotional support, but your concern is appreciated nonetheless <3

[4phr0d17e]

i got stung by a wasp like a week and a half ago and i wasnt bothered bc it really didnt hurt that badly but i noticed a few days ago theres a red lump where it got me and its rly itchy .... at what pount should i be like . concerned

[hoxooster]

have u ever felt burnt out from payday ? you’re a long time fan so it’s kind of crazy you’re still talking and posting abt the game to this day

Yes, actually, many times.

Like, the major catalyst for me no longer caring about Payday's lore--and I mean to the point where I didn't care about what happened in the story and I never bothered to do a deep dive into anything or even speculate anymore--was when my buddy, Wolfee, went AWOL after the first Dentist trailer dropped. He was gone for a little over 2 months, 'cause his parents took all of his tech stuff: phone, tablet, laptop, et cetera. So, I really had no one to gush about shit with for a long while.

Then OVERKILL became progressively more... OVERKILL. And I mean more like current day OVERKILL, 'cause they used to be different when Ulf was there. They had a lot of missteps where they were outright rude to their fanbase, made a lot of stupid financial decisions (thanks a lot, Bo), and have just gone in a weird direction with their game overall. PAYDAY 2 has felt... strange, ever since Ulf left, and even more so with Simon having walked away.

And, ya know, with all the damn DLC, it's been really easy to get burnt out on PAYDAY. Especially when you're one of the older fans, where you gotta see all this new, weird shit come out and just be like, "Huh?" all the damn time. It's tiring, but I'm still here.

Not gonna lie, it's mostly just 'cause I'm used to doing this. I've been PAYDAY blogging since January 28, 2014, so I've dedicated almost ten damn years of my life to these games. I have seen so much shit happen in this fandom that'd it'd take me weeks to list 'em all. I've met a few of the big players, some of the moderators and old time modders, and quite a few of the people who've made something for OVERKILL to use in their promotions and things. I know so many random tidbits about the games and the characters and the lore and the company and the fans that I'm practically an encyclopedia of knowledge for almost everything PAYDAY-related.

And through it all, the moments of distaste and distrust in OVERKILL, the loss of friends as they drifted away to other interests, the ever-shifting nature of the games into something weirder held together with spit and duct tape, the overflow of content, and the base confusion that I feel with a game I barely recognize anymore, I have remained.

I'm a dinosaur in this fandom, as has been pointed out to me many times. I have my moments where I'm a jaded, crotchety, cane shaking, old man, but I still love this game and its fandom. I may do this mostly out of routine, but another part of me does it out of thankfulness and love. PAYDAY set me on a path that allowed me to meet so many interesting people and do a lot of cool things.

It came at the right time in my life to save me, and I am forever grateful to it for that, even if I do have my issues with it. So, I shall remain here, ever faithfully cataloguing PAYDAY stuff and guiding anyone who asks me for advice. For, after all, I am the Torchbearer of this fandom. XD

[viulus]

I just finished the Big Encounter tm in Disco Elysium, and... Jesus fucking christ, man

[safyresky]

Frog Warning

Misread "fog warning" as "frog warning" this morning while checking the weather before walking to work, told my fiance that that was some "Crystal Springs ass shit", he thought it was hilarious, and then this ensued. Enjoy!

---

"Frog warning? Am I reading that right?"

Jacqueline glanced over Charlie's shoulder, squinting at his screen. "Yep! That's a frog warning," she confirmed, the pair continuing their walk to the market district.

Danielle's birthday was coming up fast, and Charlie wanted to get her something different. Something special, and unique! Just like her! He just had no idea where he should go to find something special. Regular shops and malls just weren't cutting it, and nothing in the Workshop had been catching his attention.

Running into Jacqueline while canvasing the Workshop, Charlie had shared his plight with her. She had come in clutch when she suggested a day in Crystal Springs to find something special for Danielle in the shops downtown or in the various province's market districts. Charlie loved the idea, and the pair had picked a day and drawn up a game plan to hit up as many cute little shops and markets as possible.

They were walking through a cozy little town in the East Province, on their way to the autumnal market first. Danielle was a fall baby, and it was her favourite season. She was 100% one of those people who loved autumn weather and sweaters and cozy blankets and all things pumpkin spice, and she was proud of it! Charlie loved her for it. Well, he loved her for MANY reasons, but her love of all things fall (and absolutely rabid appreciation of Halloween, they'd won best couple's costume at school for three out of four years) meant that the Eastern Province, where it was ALWAYS fall, was where the pair were starting their day.

"Frog warning? It's not a typo for fog warning?"

"Nerp," Jacqueline replied, as they admired the autumn foliage. They could see the little town in the distance, the shops and homes small and cozy and nestled into a fiery blanket of red, orange, and yellow trees. The little chimneys on the slated roofs puffed out dark smoke, the smell of burning firewood wafting throughout the air. "It's a frog warning. Wait, hang on a sec," she said, grabbing Charlie's phone holding arm and yanking it towards her as she surveyed the weather app.

"Yep, FROG warning. Phew. Thought it might be frogs PLURAL. I didn't come prepared for frogs, or any precipitation, really. It's a nice day all around the continent today," she said, giving Charlie back his arm.

"Except for the frog, apparently," Charlie replied, closing the app and opening his browser.

Crystal Springs had country wide internet. Before they had started their journey, Jacqueline had connected him to the FaeFi and Charlie was having a grand old time exploring all of the magibean facets of the internet (which Jacqueline had informed him was called the faenet). He had pulled up his weather app, pleasantly surprised that it had immediately brought up the relevant weather for Crystal Springs, a HIDDEN, not to mention, MAGICAL continent.

"Yeah, except for the frog," Jacqueline agreed, chipper as they entered the town and not elaborating on the frog at all.

It looked like something right out of Halloweentown, or Nightmare Before Christmas. A little spooky, but tidy. Very halloweeny/autumny looking magibeans were mulling about. Lots of spell casters, Charlie noted. He could recognize the witches by their pointed hats. Swirling robes for sorcerers, warlocks with their staffs. There were walking gourd people, a skeleton or two looking like they were having a grand old time, and of course, the usual magibeans: fairies, pixies, gnomes, brownies, and...trolls?

Neat, Charlie thought.

The storefronts had cute little harvest themed decor, smiling scarecrows in planters full of mums and leaning on decorative hay stacks (one of them waved as they passed by; bewildered, Charlie waved back). Colourful corns hung from the lamp posts; the signs were all crooked in cheery ways, with a smattering of light Halloween decorations sprinkled here and there.

It was the perfect place to find something for Danielle.

"Okay, so, most of the shops here are in actual shops! There is a farmer's market deeper in town, we can check that out after we tackle main street if we don't find anything. We can also grab some lunch there," Jacqueline said, looking both ways and dragging Charlie across the street. "Any idea what you want to get her? Like, even just a vibe?"

"Something cozy, I think," Charlie said. "With a bit of magic."

"We're so in the right place," Jacqueline said. "C'mon! There's an enchanted yarn shop up the way and the witch who runs it weaves enchantments INTO the coziest sweaters you have EVER worn."

"Sweet! But uh, what about the frog?"

"The wha--oh! That! Right! Just look both ways before crossing and you should be good," Jacqueline said. "Let's get our shop on, yeah?"

And get their shop on they did!

Charlie had been to a handful of cute little villages with unique little shops and local businesses, but he had never seen something as wild as the magical shops in Crystal Springs. A lot of them looked similar to regular small businesses, but when you got in, and saw yarn moving around via magic? An entire store dedicated to potion and spell ingredients? Enchanted soaps and scrubs? Food that literally did give you hp? It was amazing!

They had looped through the main street, and hit up some of the side streets, when lunch rolled around. Charlie chatted excitedly about the sweater he had gotten Danielle that made any surface cozy for you when you curled up in it to read, and the scarf that had a warming spell built in to prevent that Jack Frost from nipping at your nose.

"But that's one of the best parts of the job," Jacqueline had said, pouting at the register as the witch rang them up.

"Ah, maybe for you, Ms. Frost, but not for those of us on the receiving end of the nip," she had replied with a wink.

(She had ended up buying one for Dite, too. It was pink and soft and her busiest day was sometimes the coldest, so, Jacquie figured the goddess would appreciate it. Though she appreciated any gift that her chilly lil' girlfriend gave her, and didn't really mind the nipping. She was warm enough to balance out Jacqueline's chill any day!)

The pair were so caught up with their conversation, and the smell of delicious food wafting up towards them from the Market, that they had forgotten all about the frog warning.

But the frog hadn't.

And as the two of them turned the corner to the cobblestone downhill slope that hosted the farmer's market, a loud croaking stopped them in their tracks.

Well, stopped Jacqueline in her tracks. She threw out her arm, Charlie crashing into it with a slight "Oof!", the breath rushing out of his lungs.

"What was that for?"

"Frog warning," Jacqueline said, as another thunderous croak rang out from down the street just behind them.

"WATCH OUT!" someone shouted. The ground shook; an unfortunate wet suction-y sound tickled their ears. Charlie turned to look behind him, and gasped.

The lamp posts jostled; the cute little cornucopia decorations on either end of the ladder bars swayed back and forth. The wet sch-POP was reaching his ears with more frequency now. Magibeans at the top of the street screamed, jumping out of the way with practised ease.

Finally, Charlie saw it. It's eye bulged from it's head, nostril high in the air as it looked around. Two webbed feet, GIGANTIC webbed feet, peeked around the corner. It's vocal sac expanded; there was another croak, and it hopped the corner, surveying the street.

It lunged; the jump was high, and it propelled the frog halfway down the street. It croaked again, jumping once again and covering a lot of ground as it soared.

Jacqueline pulled Charlie away and up against the building they had stopped beside, pressing herself against the brick wall that faced the slope. He found his back slamming into the wall beside her, his breath letting out in a whoosh once again as the frog landed not even centimetres (inches) away from where he had been watching just a moment ago.

"Skulls and bones," Charlie said (the source of all magic censoring "son of a bitch" in quite the spooktacular way).

"Frog warning," Jacqueline replied with a smile as the frog hopped away once again.

"You guys have giant frogs?!"

"Not naturally, no. Just give them a sec."

"Give who a sec?"

Jacqueline grinned. She pointed around the building with her thumb. Eyebrow raised, Charlie carefully slid out (frog, she had said, not frogs, plural), and glanced up the street.

Sure enough, running as fast as they could behind the frog were three witches. They held their pointy hats tightly, rushing to catch up with its lengthy jumps.

"Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry!" One shouted as they scurried to catch up with the beast.

"Transformation mishap! We're working on it!"

"Sorry! Sorry, so sorry, oh gosh. That'll wash out, don't worry!"

There was a gentle swoosh in the air. Charlie glanced up; two witches rode on their broomsticks, a net between them as they gained on the frog. "We've got it this time! For sure!" one shouted, as the frog made it's way around another corner, the witches following it closely.

"See? Frog warning!" Jacqueline said with a smile and a shrug, hands on her hips as she watched the witches in the air dodge the frog mid jump, trying to head him off in front before the next street. "Nothing to worry about."

Charlie laughed. "I love it here," he said with a grin.

[uraandri]

so apparently my ex best friend, who i parted somewhat peacfully with because we had too many issues and i decided to end our friendship before it turned nasty, and who during our last conversation talked about how sad she was because we missunderstood each other so much and how we could have been such good friends, was actually trying to push me out of our friend group and paint me as a jelaous villain in the time period when i genuinly thought she was going to be my best friend for years to come