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safyresky · 9 months

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Smile Shot: Seeing Red

Jacqueline has a crisis over Rankin-Bass's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

aka, THEY BULLIED AN ACTUAL BABY, JACK!

---

"They were actually SO MEAN to Rudolph."

Jack shut the door behind him, one eyebrow delicately raised as he watched his sister fuss behind his bar, pouring things from his mini-fridge into a tumbler. "Hello to you too, little flurry. Why are you in my condo."

"Because I'm having a PROBLEM with RUDOLPH, okay?"

"And you couldn't have dropped a line? You HAD to come here?" Tossing his keys on the side table and kicking off his shoes, Jack made his way to the bar, sliding onto one of the stools.

"YES." Frowning, she sealed the tumbler shut, shaking it up intensely. "Like. He was born with a red nose that glows. And they bullied the FUCK outta him, dude! Like, right out the gate! He couldn't even WALK and his Dad was like 'what the fuck is this?!'"

Jack chuckled, the mid-century sports announcer voice Jacqueline had used to imitate Rudolph's father nearly bang on.

"And then! Fucking SANTA CLAUS walks into the cave and is like 'WOW! LOOK AT THIS CALF! OH WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT NOSE?' like, even SANTA was being mean to him! SANTA!" Placing the tumbler down, she rummaged below the counter top, pulling out two whisky glasses.

"To be fair, Santa is a bit of a dick."

The mini-fridge below the bar whipped open, bottles clinking. She placed whipped cream on the counter, a small bottle of chocolate sprinkles appearing beside it. "But the Rankin-Bass Santa ISN'T Scott, Jack! He isn't Scott!" the fridge door slammed, Jacqueline popping back up, hands on her hips. "He's so WHOLESOME in Santa Claus is Comin' to Town and in Rudolph he is LITERALLY bullying a freshly born baby!!!! A freshly!" she unscrewed the tumbler cap. "Born!" pulling the glasses close, she poured the chocolatey looking mixture into both of them. "Baby!"

"Rankin-Bass?"

"Uh, yeah. I don't think I stuttered."

Jack looked thoughtful for a moment. "Didn't the Rudolph film come before the Santa one?"

Now it was Jacqueline's turn to look thoughtful as she shook the can of whipped cream. "I think so, yes."

"Well at least they fixed Santa's bizz for that one."

"I mean. I GUESS. But they still bullied an actual baby, Jack." She wrinkled her nose, pushing down on the spout and topping the two drinks with whipped cream. Opening up the sprinkles, she gently tapped the bottle, a substantial amount of sprinkles fluttering down onto the whipped cream. "Here, you have to try this monstrosity."

Jack reached out, grabbing the cup that Jacqueline slid his way. He tilted it expectantly; with a feral grin, she clinked her cup against his before taking a frothy whipped cream filled sip, Jack following suite.

"Mmm, monstrosity indeed, what is in this? Chocolate? More chocolate? Only chocolate?"

"Chocolate milk AND Irish cream! Mostly chocolate milk. It's like, 3 parts to one. Then there's the sprinkles, too. I like chocolate."

"I never would've guessed."

Jacqueline rolled her eyes. "Dude! I am having a CRISIS and you are making fun of me? Your cute wee little sister? In the midst of her MASSIVE CRISIS?"

"You are having a crisis over Rudolph, Jacqueline."

"It's VALID! I mean, if I had been born with a bright red nose, would you have been like 'sorry Jacqueline, you simply cannot Jack Frost with THAT schnoz.' like???? Do you see? My problem?"

"You were born with a red nose though. You were very red all over, actually. And squishy. And loud."

Jacqueline blinked. "You held me right after I was born?"

"Well, duh. I mean, after Mom and Dad, of course. I figured it was well earned given that I spent the entire time you were being born fending off Spring."

"Ou. Felt. You'll never guess what I was doing when the Twins were being born."

"Fighting Aunt Spring?"

"Fighting Aunt Spring." she nodded sagely, taking another sip before continuing. "Cute lil' red nose aside, you didn't banish me from Jack Frost-ing because of it! Like, Santa literally sees the nose and is all 'well. You can't pull my sleigh like THAT' and it's like DAMN bitch, bold of you to assume he'd even WANT to! They act like it's some kinda big HONOUR—"

"And it really isn't! Lugging old fatty around and all those gifts? Honestly, their sense of what is and isn't a Big Deal is...concerning."

"And then he pulls the most Jack-shaped card ever and sings about how he's going to fly in his magic sleigh because he's the king?"

"EXCUSE you, are you making fun of me, your delightful older brother, in the midst of your Rudolph imposed crisis?"

"No fucking shit Mister North Pole, North Pole."

Jack put his hands up. "Alright, fine. I'll give you that one. But I WILL remember it."

"I look forward to the ensuing snowball which I will surely dodge."

"That'll be the day," Jack chuckled, leaning to the right as snow flew right past his left, landing with a splat on the wall across them. "Do you mind? That wallpaper is ancient!"

"Just like you!"

Jack frowned, grumbling to himself as he took another sip of his drink. "I will kick you out, Jacqueline."

"Nooo don't!! I have so much to say about Rudolph Jack, come on. Come on. You GOTTA hear what I have to say. I'm just so—" her hands stilled for a moment, hovering just in front of her face as she sought out a word— "BOGGLED by it and so mad, you HAVE to hear my ranting and raving PRETTY please, it's the LEAST you could do after the whole North Pole, North Pole thing."

Jack snickered, taking another sip and crossing one leg over the other. "Alright little flurry, out with it. Let's hear this critic rave."

"THANK you! OKAY RIGHT SO LIKE. He's born with this glowing red nose, and his dad's immediate solution after Santa says he's not gonna make the team is to COVER HIS NOSE. WITH DIRT. TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A REGULAR OLD NOSE. Jack. There's no WAY he could breath through that thing, no FUCKING way! And you know, his mom was all 'we can learn to overlook it' which isn't really ACCEPTANCE but like, it's BETTER than being like HEY LET'S FUCKING HIDE IT AND TELL THIS KID HE ISN'T NORMAL AND MAKE HIM CONFORM UNCOMFORTABLY. OH? HE CAN'T BREATH? WELL! GUESS HE'LL DIE!"

Jack found himself laughing softly to himself. "You. You're really fired up about this."

"I AM! And I don't know WHY!"

"Is it maybe because—"

"We're not psychoanalyzing this, Jack."

"Just ranting?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, don't let me stop you."

"Oh, I won't." She took a long drag of her drink before continuing like nothing had happened. "So THEN he goes to the reindeer games and is like, the TOP of his class. He's THE ace. The reindeer that was teaching them was like YOU'LL MAKE THE TEAM IN NO TIME and you can practically HEAR Donner chortling in the background because it seems like he's got some kind of ISSUES about leading Santa's sleigh that he's projecting onto Rudolph, but that's a subject for another time! So he's rocking these reindeer games and then his PROSTHETIC NOSE comes off and suddenly it's all HAHA LOSER G-T-F-O YOU'RE NOT MAKING THE TEAM. Like really? Does Santa care THAT much about reindeer aesthetic? I mean, LOOK AT THE MAN!"

Jack snorted into his drink, whipped cream poofing right off the top and onto the counter. "HA! Get his ass, Jacquie. The man has NO sense of style! I saw him in jeans the other day, and let me tell you. Nightmare scenario."

Jacqueline laughed. "It can't be that bad."

"He was going for Canadian lumberjack chic and he was WAY OFF THE MARK."

"B-Man was telling me the other day that apparently he has this embroidered blazer?"

"His initials embroidered in gold, Jacqueline. GOLD. On the most GARISH red. He claims it's the same colour as the jacket! It's not. It's the red artists WARN YOU about."

"Like Rudolph's nose?"

"Excuse me, who's being mean to a literal baby now?"

"Okay well in my defence, it is A) a colour comparison and B) at this point in the movie he is one year old which is APPARENTLY old enough to run away."

"Well that escalated quickly."

"I mean, he met this girl who was like 'oh, I think you're perfect just the way you are—" Jacqueline spoke in a high falsetto, folding her hands and fluttering her eyelashes for a brief moment. Jack chuckled, swallowing it when she suddenly SLAMMED her hands onto the counter top. "—and BAM. HER DAD FINDS OUT AND SAYS NO DOE OF HIS WILL BE WITH A RED NOSED REINDEER!"

"Ou, ouch."

"Right? I'd run away too. So! Off he fucks with the elf that wants to be a dentist and is ostracized for it, and a prospector who has literally NO IDEA WHERE THE GOLD RUSH IS. He's like 'this south of the Hudson's Bay!' and I'm like 'sir, your grasp of geography is troubling. I'm pretty sure you're north since you ran into these guys at the NORTH FUCKING POLE! And then they get to the ISLAND of MISFIT TOYS. AND ARE TOLD THAT THEY ARE TOO MISFIT TO BE THERE. THIS GUY JUST CAN'T CATCH A BREAK!"

"And nor can you!"

"I KNOW you're being sarcastic but I'm taking it seriously because I am having a moment. Need a top off?"

"I'm going to need something a lot stronger if I have to keep listening to this." Sliding off the stool, Jack made his way behind the bar, shoving Jacqueline down the counter as he rummaged around for the good whisky. Since, you know. She had used the whisky glasses for this chocolate...thing.

"Felt," Jacqueline agreed, watching as Jack rinsed the glass and poured his preferred drink. She smiled to herself when he reached for her tumbler and topped her off, passing her the whipped cream can.

"And can you pass the sprinkles?"

They slid down the counter, gently bonking into her glass.

"Thank you! You're the best!"

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I said, you're the best."

"Care to say that one more time?"

"What, can't hear in your old age? Don't push it, Jack," she served him with an icy look worthy of Winter herself, managing to hold it just long enough before a grin split her face, eyes crinkling at the corners as she swayed into him.

"Alright, alright," Jack conceded, swaying back. "So. Island of Misfit Toys."

"Right! Yeah! So they get told they CAN'T stay there, except for maybe a night, and maybe could you please tell Santa about us? And they agree to if they ever go back to the Pole which to be honest, I wouldn't if I was treated like THAT. And then RUDOLPH runs AWAY from the other misfits because of the YETI?!?!?!?! Wilding. I didn't think yetis were that bad. The ones at home seem pretty chill, and make a mean snow cone."

"Lots of groups are perfectly pleasant but have one bad apple. Maybe the yeti is the bad apple of the yetis in the movie? Why am I entertaining this?"

"Because you love your lil' sister? Because alcohol? Because snow business today has been impossible and this is leagues better than work? Because fuck El Niño events? Because it's four in the morning and we're both operating on like zero sleep thanks to that funky lil' guy?"

"And instead of sleeping when you finished you got mad about Rudolph."

"I mean. YES but it was ACCIDENTAL! I fully intended to sleep on the couch as it played but then Donner opened his stupid reindeer mouth and now I need to yell! Lady above, do you know what the WORST PART about this WHOLE THING is?"

"What?"

"At the END of the movie they're all like 'we're cool with this red nosed reindeer thing now' which is one thing. But then there's the OTHER THING. Which is that the MOMENT Santa goes OH! RUDOLPH! YOUR NOSE! And he leads the sleigh through an absolutely brilliant snowstorm, everyone's like woo! Yay! He's USEFUL to SOCIETY! And fucking DONNER. HE'S LIKE 'I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU THE ENTIRE TIME, BOY!' Um, HELLO?! NO HE DID NOT! FORTY MINUTES EARLIER HE WAS LAMENTING THAT HE'D NEVER MAKE THE TEAM BECAUSE OF HIS NOSE AND TRYING TO ERASE IT FROM EXISTENCE!"

Jacqueline sighed, looking down at the liquid in her glass. She swirled her cup, the liquid whooshing about, the whipped cream barely moving. Jack waited a beat, swirling his own glass and conjuring extra ice when the clink didn't sound clinky enough.

"I'm sad about snow business this year."

Ah. There it was.

"Oh?"

Jacqueline nodded. "This time last year, we shut down the 401, Jack. We inconvenienced ALL of Eastern Ontario. It was great. It was gorgeous. Now? All I was able to do was freeze the puddles in the cracks and dents in the road because of all the rain. RAIN. IN DECEMBER." she huffed, blowing the little flyaway hairs off of her brow.

Jack shifted into a lean, surveying his sister closely. He sniffed. He took a sip of his drink. Swirled the ice cubes. Enjoyed the delightful clink. "You know, Jacqueline...we've still got three more months of winter left."

She perked up a bit.

"By all accounts and purposes, we're only just getting started. At least I am." He shifted his weight again, pulling back his jacket and propping his hand on his hip. "You ah, giving up that easy this season?"

"Give up? Give UP?!" lively now, she shot up, looking aghast. "I haven't given UP. I've just. Y'know. Hit a bit of a snag and gotten a little stuck on Rudolph is all."

"That's the spirit! Now, December may be ending on a warmer note. And yes, it's maddeningly frustrating. But January is just around the corner and there will be plenty of opportunity to whip up one hell of a snowstorm. We may not close the highways again, but I'm hoping for a good amount of slipping and sliding and snow STAYING on the ground. Sound good?"

"Good? GOOD? It sounds AMAZING. Absolutely delightful! IDEAL, to be honest."

"There we go! Don't let December get you down just yet! It's almost over! January is right around the corner and so is our wintry weather! We just have to wait a bit. I mean, if we want. We can keep trying for snow, of course! I think a few flurries can manage the temps. But only after a good. Night's. Rest," he poked her shoulder on each of the last three words, satisfied when she laughed a little.

"I GUESS I could benefit from some sleep."

"Then maybe you'd be less of a, what was it you said the other day? Sad sack?"

"I did say that, yes."

"And then you could go flurry crazy right across the hemisphere!"

"That sounds very fun."

"Mmm, doesn't it just? So, how about this: you can stay the night here since I know you're going to ask anyway and you've practically got a second closet going in the second spare room—"

"It's just so easy to stop in Gstaad while doing the rounds! It's, like, central! And so pretty."

"—you know what I'm hearing? I'm hearing it's free real estate, Jack. I should charge you rent."

"There's no need for that! You can crash at my place any time. You know. Once it's in shape enough for metaphorical crashing, not. Not literal crashing. We're having floorboard issues, so we've gotta repair a bunch and then like, lacquer them, or something? Dite was explaining it to me but it went in one ear and right out the other. She looked real cute in the paint stained overalls and I was hella distracted about it."

"I believe the term you're looking for is sealant."

"Sure. If you say so."

Jack blinked. "Right. Anyway! You can stay the night, we'll go out for some breaki in the morning and after that how about some flurries, hmm?"

"They are my specialty!"

"And in the meantime! Since we've got these drinks to finish. How about something...less rage inducing, hmm?"

"Santa Claus is Comin' to Town?"

"If we must."

"I'll go grab my boxed set!"

Before Jack could say anything, she poofed away. He frowned, waving some snow off the counter top just in time for her to reappear and flurry all over it again, flourishing what looked to be a DVD boxed set of all the Rankin Bass specials.

"Keep doing this after a day of no sleep and you'll be well on your way to a sprite sleep."

"No I won't! I'm too excited to sleep."

Jack smiled to himself, pushing off the counter top and gesturing her towards the flat screen. "Some things never change," he murmured, shooing her forward. "You know what makes those old stop motion films so great?"

"What?"

"The way they tell the story using the song. And the staging! Of puppets! Jules's background was actually more musically inclined, and it showed. You know, without his musical expertise, I bet that the films wouldn't be NEARLY as classic as they're considered to be today."

Jacqueline laughed. "You would know that."

"That and many other things! Now then! Let's watch, shall we? Angry flurries aren't as nice as cheery flurries."

Grabbing a fuzzy throw blanket that Jack definitely didn't put on the couch (didn't even remember buying, in fact), Jacqueline bundled up, settling in. "You're the boss!"

#SO I WATCHED RUDOLPH THE OTHER NIGHT AND HAD SOME THOUGHTS #AND JACQUELINE. OF COURSE. TOOK THE REIGNS. AS SHE IS WONT TO DO.#and the first bit of this happened before i passed out #so NOW i have REWATCHED RUDOLPH and tided it up to give you CONTENT #since i have been lacking in that the past two weeks #and this one was silly with some silly moments and the like i HAD to share it #idk what the end point was. sometimes fluff can just be fluff!#fluff can just be fluff!#crystal springs #smile shots #dani writes #cold front #the santa clause #the santa clause 3 #jack frost #tsc jack frost #ocs #fanfic #jacqueline frost #upon finishing a day later i learnt that the warm December and lack of snow apparently got jacquie down as bad as me #i love writing 🥰🥰🥰#love when fluff for the sake of fluff turns into comfort and HEALS ✨✨✨#WE LOVE TO SEE THE COLD FRONT PLOTTING VICTORIES #also. an aside. i got a boxed set of the complete rankin bass collection last year #and i learnt soo much from the bts #it was AMAZING #made me go 'huh. jack WOULD love these movies. cribmas themes aside'#this is the spiritual sequel to the smile shot movie night lol #ANYWAY ENJOY #I HOPE IT BRINGS YOU JOY.

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