#BUT HE REMEMBERED I DON'T and even goes as far as speaking english for me and translating

[kitorin]

I WANNA GET HIS NUMBER

[lvlyghost]

I LOVE YOUR WRITINGS SO MUCH 😩❤️😍 the way you characterize ghost is so good I can't 😭❤️ I wanted to ask if you could maybe write something for me since your writing style is sooo good frfr

How about ghost and reader have an argument that was started by ghost and he goes a bit too far breaking the reader and making them cry and be just a shell of themselves how would he feel when he sees the readers state and how would he fix it with a happy end please

Broken Wings

Pairings: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Summary: After a night out, things seem to take a turn in your relationship with Ghost.

Word Count: 2.1k

Tw: angst, hurt/comfort, self doubt, jealousy, probably ooc!simon, curse words. lots of grammar mistakes, poorly edited you know the drill🐝

A/N: i loved this request sooo much, though i did have a lot of trouble when writing it since i wasn't feeling too inspired. also had two different stories but ended up deciding to post this one i might post the other one idk, hope you like this anon! I did try my best🫶🏻🤍🩷✨corrections are appreciated; remember english isn't my native language 🐸

Masterlist✨

"I like you." You said with big bright eyes.

"But no one can know about this. Just you and I. That's enough." He answered, hand tracing the side of your face.

You blink rapidly. You have always been daydreamer. It caused you tons of problems although you tried to do your best when you were out on missions. Ghost is walking ahead of you, boots sinking in the sand beneath your feet. The waves crashing on the shore is something you like listening to and seeing too but under different circumstances. Both of your gear clink with every step you take, it's the only sound as well as the sea that swallows the tense silence that falls between the two.

Things have been rather... strange since two days ago and you've tried to talk to him about it. It wasn't weird for Ghost to push you back every now and then, he was a complicated person and you couldn't be more different from one another.

You were the sun and he was the darkness that came at night or so he had said one night at the common room back at the compound. He was stoic, grumpy and hardly found himself enjoying somebody's company. You on the other hand, even though you wouldn't consider yourself the most outgoing person like Johnny, still you liked talking unlike him. You loved going out with the task force. And most importantly you loved when Ghost joined because you loved him, you loved having him around, despite his gruff responses or annoyed looks.

You jog though your legs shake and tiredness sets in your body.

"How much farther until we get there?" You ask, ignoring the fact that his frame goes rigid when you speak . He doesn't acknowledge you at first. All you hear is a small sigh leaving his lips. You kind of wish he wasn't wearing the damn sunglasses so you could see his eyes.

They always said a lot.

"Thirty minutes. Give or take." The answer is short and cold, breaking your heart a little more than before. Still, you decide to try again.

"Sir, is something bothering you?" Before he can stop it he scoffs, shaking his head. "What?" Brows furrowing on your features. "Simon..."

He stops all of the sudden, turning to face you with a tense stance.

"First of all don't bloody use my name out here. Secondly it's your own fault we've been walking for hours. So don't go asking if something's bothering me, Sergeant."

Taking a step back you open your mouth.

"My fault? I was doing my job!"

"Didn't know your job was to get your fucking head blown off!!" He seethes. "Fucking hell you can't be this reckless and expect me to clap at your poor acting on the field." Your heart begins to race, he had never said such things to you. Taking a small step back your grit your teeth, you hated that his words were making your eyes blurry. This was the Simon you never wanted to see. And yet there he was. "Now we lost the damn intel thanks to you." He spits. But something isn't adding up.

"It's not just that. You've been acting strange for a few days now, Ghost. Don't come and tell me it's just because I did what I was supposed to do!" He stiffs yet again. Jaw clenching so hard you fear he might break it. "Not missing the way you avoid me ever since..." you close your mouth shut. "The pub..." he shifts his weight from one foot to another. The waves are increasing and now reach your feet, dampening your boots. And then you remember him storming off the local pub before he even finished his own drink. Everyone had heard the hard slap to John's arm when he had tried to calm him down. God why didn't you pay more attention to that moment? Because you both had agreed to keep your distances? And going after him was out of discussion? Then the next day you'd barely seen him, just for a short moment during debriefs and that was it. The moment you had gotten up from your seat he was gone. And today you were supposed to go to a special op that had soon become a problem that eventually led to the two of you in the middle of a beach, it was a cloudy day and if it weren't for the heavy layers you wore you're certain you'd be shaking. Sometimes –and you were ashamed of it– you were oblivious to many things and it seemed that Ghost's anger toward you was one of them this time. "What happened?"

He inhales deeply.

"It's over. That's what happened."

Your heart sinks and you swallow hard. Your whole body loses color when he mutters those two words. Out of all the things, all the possibilities you thought he'd say to you, he decided to end everything. Shaking your head you try to touch his hand but he doesn't let you.

"Ghost where is all of this coming from I don't understand!" You choke out. "We were fine..."

"No. You were fine. If I wasn't enough you should've just said so."

"Stop... you... what the hell are you talking about???"

"Nothing that matters anymore. Keep walking and don't say another word. That's an order."

He turns and keeps walking as if nothing just happened. As if he didn't just completely broke your heart.

'You were fine'.

What was that supposed to mean? You think, walking a few meters behind him, scared to even say anything else; to even try to grab him by the arm and force him to talk. It would only make things worse right now.

By the time you reach the safe house it's started to rain the silence between the two is deafening and tense. Ghost's cold demeanor and hurtful words have left a scar. Never in a million years would you think you'd be here, with a broken, shattered heart and no explanation from his part.

Words that pierced through your soul.

That day something died inside you. And he was the reason.

-

Two weeks, three days and seven hours.

That's the time that's passed since that day at the beach. Two weeks since Simon broke you and gave you no reasons.

You're a disaster.

You barely eat or get any sleep. There's dark circles under your eyes and you're sure you've lost some weight too. Ghost has been gone on a mission alone with Johnny for a week now, which left you with a lot of spare time to think about the two of you.

More tears stream down your face when you remember that day. Had you missed something important? Was Ghost's mind somewhere dark? Somewhere it shouldn't be? God knows he was... difficult to say the least. But every single time you tried, tried to be there for him. Did those late nights at your home meant nothing? Had he not seen the way you looked at him? Had you not shown him enough of your affection? Everything you'd do for him if he simply asked?

Getting up from your bed you get ready for another day. Not bothering to lace your boots just shoving them inside your shoes you walk down the hallways until you get to the training room. Gaz is talking to John in the far corner, the Captain's arms are crossed over his chest while Kyle frowns and shakes his head. You don't to even go and salute them as you normally would do, instead you put your earphones on and hit the treadmill.

It doesn't last long though; after one minute someone stops it by pressing down the off button. Your brows knitted together as you stop, turning to look up at Gaz who smiles politely.

"Sorry for that, sweetheart. You okay?" You nod, but say nothing more. "Come here." He pats your shoulder and helps you down from the treadmill. If you could smile now you would. But no even the faintest, softest grin leaves your lips. Gaz takes a quick glimpse at your face and rubs the back of his neck. "You know, Soap and Ghost just got back. Heard Lt. was asking about you."

"Oh." You murmur. "Okay." You don't move nor dare to meet his eyes. "I'll just head back to my room."

"Uhmm. I- what I meant is he's looking for you..." Shaking your head you walk away, not having the energy to face Simon right now. And why did he need to see you? Made pretty clear that you two were done, therefore was no need to see each other unless it was work related.

-

"You really do like it here don't you." Your body goes rigid. This was supposed to be your safe place. The roof of the armory was rarely visited by anyone at this hour. Simon's voice seems softer than ever before but you don't answer. Not even turn to acknowledge him. You hear muttered words and then he crouches down to your level. "Price said you're not eating. Do we have to send you to the military counselor now?" How dare he? After all he caused this. You know he doesn't mean it in bad way, somehow he cares for you deep down. Your hands ball into fists, fighting the urge to snap at him, to push him down and just break him the way he broke you. But you don't because you still love him, and could never bring yourself to hurt him. Simon is staring intently at you, waiting, hoping for any sign. He knows he shouldn't be here. Bloody hell he knows you shouldn't even look his way never again. He deserves it. Every bit of it. "Talk to me, love. Please." It's a low whisper. A plea.

"What do you want Ghost?" You ask softly. Simon leans closer, sitting down with his legs propped up against his chest and arms resting on his knees. It's a funny look for someone his size.

"Jus' wanted to see you." You scoff playing with your hands, refusing to lock eyes with him because if you did you'd be done. "Wanted to explain..."

"Then just do it!" You sob. Your lower lip trembles. "And then leave."

"Fine." He agrees. "But I'm not leaving. I- I made a mistake, and took it out on you okay? I was scared."

"Scared?" Your head snaps to where he is sitting. It's painful just to look at him. "Why would you be scared Ghost?" You retaliate

He grumbles, never fancied when you called him that when you were alone. Quite the contradiction given the fact that he told you not to call him his name that day at the beach.

"Because I saw you." He points out. "That night. Everything you're missing for being with someone like me. Can't even show proper affection because it's not me... and you deserve more than that. More than me."

"Ghost..."

"No. Lemme finish, love." He swallows. It's always amusing how controlled he seems. "I lost it, yeah? You looked so happy. How on earth do I deserve you, on what universe do I deserve ya'?"

Sucking in a sharp breath you recall the moments that preceded the events. The sound of music blasting through the speakers, when you joined the rest of the soldiers on the other side of the pub. Private Miller had slung his arm over your shoulders in a friendly manner. You laughed and drank too much that night, it was joyful. Everyone was there, your team. You never thought he felt that way about it.

"Oh my... Simon." You cover your mouth and cry silently. He hesitated for a moment before pulling you close and into his lap. "Should've known something was wrong. Forgive me... I should've stayed with you, follow you after you left." You cry out.

You were scared too, for very different reasons. That he'd get tired of you eventually, that if you weren't cautious enough your secret would be known. Both would get suspended thus separated and discharged.

"No, love. You shouldn't have to go running after me. I should be running after you. Now forgive me, say you will. Or else I might just lose myself for good." You cradle his face in your hands lifting the balaclava just above the bridge of his nose. Thumb tracing his lower lip. Your tears have dried.

"I've missed you so much, Simon. All you gotta do is talk to me, always." He tightens his grip around you. "You think Price would let us go home tonight and not ask questions?"

His chuckle is short and soft.

"Yeah. I think he's known for a while now."

[siriusleee]

adamantine chains | part 3

"Amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus." "What does that mean?" "Love is rich with both honey and venom." "I suppose that is true." Or which in König finds you broken in the mountains. A (brief) retelling of Cupid and Psyche. König | Reader

tags: no tw for this chapter, eventual smut, eventual death, idk yet request a fic here | buy me a coffee so I don't have to work overtime and can write more

a/n: we will not delve into the full cupid psyche story this month. this is just part 1. the rest will come later.

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4

The days pass slowly. You rotate through reorganizing and cleaning König's house, hands searching for something to keep them busy and from worrying about where your fiance could be and running errands for Oma. On the tenth day, it finally happens. You're trying to figure out what to cook yourself for dinner when a knock on the door startles you. 

The policeman, the same one König spoke to just eleven days earlier, waits for you outside, hat held tightly in his hand. He doesn't look you in the eye. Beside him is another man, one you've never seen before. When this new man speaks, his English is quick a hint of a British accent behind his Austrian one. 

"I am so sorry ma'am."

They help you up from the ground; you don't remember falling, but you know that his words have taken everything out of you. They help you settle into the chair by the fireplace before the man starts speaking again.

"I know this is difficult, but we do need to…ask you some questions."

You barely hear them, as they ask about the hiking trip, about your fiance's job, about how you got separated from the group that day. It isn't until the questions are over, that your brain starts to move again, and starts to ask questions again.

"Where is his body? Can I see it?"

The policeman who is speaking English shifts uncomfortably in his seat, and whispers something to the second policeman before speaking again; this time he can't look you in the eye.

"I am sorry, miss. But his body was taken by the United States government. We told them about you and how you were here with him, but," he pauses, clears his throat, "we were told you didn't have permission to be with him on his trip to Austria and that the government has no need to get you back home because you shouldn't be here."

For the second time, the floor falls out from beneath you.

When König arrives back home the next day, he finds you on the couch. You're wrapped in a blanket and fixated on the empty fireplace. He doesn't speak to you, doesn't even acknowledge you on his way past. 

The shower kicks on from down the hallway; the sound grates on your nerves and you curl in tighter to yourself. When König arrives back into the living room he brings the scent of cedar wood and clary sage and underneath it a scent of something heavier and iron-tinged. You can feel his eyes on you, boring into you but he doesn't speak. Instead, he goes to the kitchen and starts banging around, pots slamming onto the stove and the sound of the gas clicking to life. 

He doesn't speak to you until he sets down a bowl on the floor in front of you, the scene of garlic and tomatoes pulling you from the cocoon of blankets. 

"I have heard what the police said, and I am sorry Taube. "

At his words, you start crying again - you can see the panic behind König's eyes and he presses himself into the chair, trying to get as far away from you as possible. You finally catch your breath enough to choke out what's been eating at you for the last 10 days. 

"König I'm a terrible person."

" Nein, Taube . Why do you say that?"

Everything that has been bubbling inside you since you woke in Oma's house finally breaks through, and you sob between your words. 

"I'm horrible König, I didn't even care that he was lost in the mountain - I just wanted to go home. And now I can't, now I'm stuck here the government didn't even care they just left me here. And now I will never get home; it's my punishment for not caring about him."

When König speaks to you, it's quiet, calculated. 

"Why did you not care about him? He was your fiance?"

You press your hands to your face, trying not to puke all over König.

"I was only marrying him because I didn't know what else to do. He asked and I said yes, I thought it was what people just did. I thought I could love him, but I couldn't make myself feel it. And now he is dead, and all I feel is grateful that you found me and that I'm able to live."

You're hyperventilating, you can't breathe. Your hands press painfully into your face, trying to push the thoughts away from you. A pair of large hands wrap around your wrist, and König pries your hands away from your face slowly. He's knelt down in front of the couch, eyes trained on yours. 

"You are not terrible, Taube. Trust me when I say this. I know you are upset you cannot go home right now, but you are welcome to stay here for as long as you like. I know it has been nice for Oma to have you around when I was gone."

This makes you cry worse, and the crushing feeling of being a burden grows around you.

"Hush, Taube. I will take care of you."

You let him wrap the blanket back around you, and let him use the corner to wipe your face clean. He presses the bowl of food, spaghetti with so much cheese on top it's nearly ridiculous before he leaves you again to start the fire and warm the room up. 

You don't know how long it takes you to calm down, but your heart feels lighter, finally admitting the horrible thoughts you'd been having for months. 

The relationship had started innocently at first; you'd met your fiance at work. You did IT work for a banking company and he was a customer who had accidentally wandered into the wrong part of the bank. It had been a whirlwind, him sweeping you away and convincing you to quit your job and move with him. The entire relationship had been rocky, but you had no way of knowing how to leave, and when he finally asked you to marry him you didn't know how to say no. There had been the worry that if you did, you would have nowhere to go - you didn't even know where your dad was asking him to come to get you (not that he would, but it had always been a hope). And then there had been dress fittings, and cake tasting. Finally, the trip to Austria, a honeymoon before the wedding because your fiance would be gone for work the day after your wedding. 

To finally admit to someone how you felt was liberating, even if it did make you feel like a horrible person. 

You don't know how long you sit there before you finally manage to eat. The pasta is cold, but the sauce is still amazing. König sits in the chair, eyes boring holes into the wall before turning towards you. 

"You've never said, how you speak Polish."

You stir the leftover sauce in the bowl around as you think back.

"My grandfather was from Poland. He immigrated to the United States after the Nazis started taking over. His father sent him to the United States alone, he was really young too. Anyway, he lived in the United States for the rest of his life. My mom died when I was born, and my dad left me on his doorstep before I could even cry for help. So my grandfather raised me. We only spoke Polish at his house."

"And he is dead now, no?"

"Yeah. He died when I was in college. He owned an orange grove and, I didn't know this, but he was selling off parts of it to send me to college. So when he got sick, there was no money to pay for his treatment and no land to sell for it either."

"I am so sorry, Taube. "

You set the bowl down beside you, changing the conversation to something that isn't eating you from the inside out.

"What does that mean? Taube ?"

König shifts in his seat, slouching down so that his legs are spread out in front of him and his head can rest on the back. 

"It is just a polite word for a young woman."

"But-"

"Enough, Taube. "

The weeks at König's pass by easily. You find yourself slipping into a comfortable pattern, the two of you rotating around each other like planets caught in each other's orbit. When König is gone, you figure out how to entertain yourself: helping Oma take care of herself, developing your film in the dark room König set up for you, and selling the prints of the local scenery in one of the local cafes. 

When König finds you after his last work assignment, you're in the dark room, developing your recent prints. You don't speak as he folds into the room and presses against the doorway.

"You know König I don't have a disease. You don't have to keep yourself so far away from me." 

He doesn't speak to you as you clip your next print to dry, solution dripping down your fingers. You're taken back to that day in the mountain when the rain fell onto your skin, and you have to take a deep breath to steady yourself against the whirlwind of emotions that threaten to break through. You turn your attention to König to distract yourself. 

"Are you going to speak, or are you going to stay there staring at me menacingly?"

"I am not staring menacingly."

"You wear a mask König; you are the definition of menacing."

König grumbles but doesn't say anything to refute you. Wiping your hands on your jeans, you turn to stare at him, hip cocked against a table to mimic his pose. König shuffles his feet, eyes turned down at the floor. His hands are behind his back; his forearms are tight. 

"König what is wrong?"

"I was," his voice catches, "I was wondering if you wanted to go get dinner tonight so that we did not have to cook."

His voice is cracked, lilted in a way you haven't heard before. You frown at him, trying to figure out what is wrong. In a second, his demeanor changes; he shrinks in on himself and gives you a curt nod. 

"I will leave you alone then."

He's out the door before you're able to catch up to him, hand wrapping around his elbow to stop him. His eyes crinkle on the edges when he looks down at you, and you know he's frowning beneath the mask. His muscles are rope tense beneath your hand; you realize with a skip of your heartbeat that this is the first time you've ever touched him.

"What's up with you? Of course, I want to go out with you."

The muscles under your hand relax incrementally and you expect König to step away from you like he always does. But he leans just an inch closer when he speaks.

" Perfekt. "

[zankagi]

hey!! i've been thinking about a specific kyman scenario that i wanted to share here. i lowkey suck at speaking english so sorry if there are terrible grammar mistakes teehe. also, it's not really organized because i literally thought of this at 3 am last night, this is just me vomiting words.

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️: it has a little of nsfw. nothing explicit really because it isn't even important, but if you're uncomfortable with please be mindful of that. also, if you don't like or hate kyman, please don't read. just scroll past this.

ok so !! a highschool au where the boys are in the last year of highschool, and they start thinking about college and their adult lives. it's cartman's last year in south park bc he already decided to move out to another place (far away, i don't really know abt us states but you go imagine some place far from colorado). he applied to a prestigious college and he actually got accepted, so it's a huge opportunity for him. although there is another reason for him to leave south park apart from the fact that he doesn't like the town; and that is kyle. he's been in love with him for years now and he knows kyle would never like him back, so he wants to leave all his feelings behind and have a fresh start. he wants to forget kyle, or at least all the years he spent yearning for him.

the guys know, not about his massive crush on kyle of course, but about him moving out. at fist kyle thought that he would finally be free from cartman for good, and he didn't even have to do anything at all! but, the more the year progresses, the nature of their relationship changes. maybe it's because eric wants kyle to at least have a few good memories of him before he leaves, or maybe it's because deep down kyle can't imagine what his life without cartman would be. he isn't accustomed to not have cartman around, and he doesn't know what future holds for him (i imagine kyle would go to a college near south park, let's say it exists because i need it for the plot), so he's actually a little scared to lose his friends... even cartman. whatever the reason is, they start to grow closer. they start going out more (as friends, of course), they hang at each other's houses, they start laughing a lot more, and even though they can't stop fighting for absolutely everything, they find they start enjoying the fighting too (more like kyle finds out, eric has always enjoyed them in his own way).

kyle knew there was good in eric after all. he had lost hope at some point on trying to fix him, but he found that they could actually get along and they had a lot more in common than he realized. he remembered that there were some rare occasions in his childhood when cartman wasn't antagonizing him and they were actually on the same team. he remembered how fun it was back then, and he actually missed it. it was really fun. though weird, eric understood him in a way that kenny and even stan couldn't. it really was weird, but he was sure it was the same for eric too.

at some point in the year, this change in their relationship got kyle doing a lot of thinking. some random night, after a day spent laughing, arguing and playing videogames with eric, kyle came to the conclusion that he actually liked eric. he freaked out and was weird for a week or so, being especially weird with cartman. after a lot more of thinking, he got his head around the idea that he liked cartman, and wasn't as freaked out and weird anymore. he realized that this wasn't really news to him, he'd been obsessed with eric since they were kids, always trying to make him change for the better or trying to stop his schemes when he didn't really had to. he just never though much about it because it was "the right thing to do", but it all made so much more sense now. he wasn't telling anybody, though. not even stan. never.

so, the year goes by and he doesn't say a word and never acts on it. it would be stupid since eric's moving out in a week so whatever. the four boys decide to spend that last week together in a sort of farewell to eric. they have a really good time together laughing, having sleepovers and doing dumb and dangerous things together like when they were kids. everything is like the old times and there are no worries, no pressure, no uncertainty, no anxiety... just them being kids all over again.

the night before eric's trip arrives. he's leaving early in the morning and kenny, stan and kyle had already said their goodbyes to him. kyle is having dinner, but he can't stop thinking about eric leaving. he's leaving for who-knows how long to a really far distance from colorado... and, hell, he'd probably not come back anymore because, who would want to come back to fucking south park? the little, boring and stupid town that caused trouble to anyone living there? eric would probably start a new life, meet new people, far from anyone he knew before, he'll probably fall in love with someone else and make a good life away from everything and everyone. all of it while kyle is still in colorado and being miserable, probably.

that's when kyle can't take it anymore and when his family is asleep, he sneaks out from his house and goes to eric's. he climbs up to his window (just like eric did a lot of times when they were younger, entering to kyle's bedroom unannounced) and knocks lightly. eric was already in bed and was really confused when he saw kyle outside but opened the window for him anyway and helped him into his bedroom. they sit in eric's bed and the brunette looks at kyle for a few seconds before speaking.

"what are you doing here?" he asks.

kyle doesn't answer immediately, but looks around the room that was only illuminated by the rays of the moon entering from the same window kyle climbed. he sees eric's suitcase and various boxes with almost every decoration of the room inside them. he notices how the bedroom he knew for practically all his life and that was witness of so much memories was now cold, lifeless and felt strange and unknown. he feels his stomach sink uncomfortably and it's all he needs to muster up the courage to look eric in the eye and say "i wanted to see you." with the most sincere expression in his face.

eric tries (and fails) to suppress the blush that spread through his cheeks, and coughs to cover it up.

"you saw me yesterday." he replies, and kyle rolls his eyes. he doesn't appreciate being questioned because he feels exposed.

"yes, but you leave tomorrow morning and i don't know if i will be awake to see you go."

eric shrugs it off and they start chatting, laying on his bed, looking at the ceiling. they talk about everything, but mostly about memories together. they laugh together at some of them, and fight about other ones because they really can't stop arguing and antagonizing each other. the only difference is that now fighting seems more fun and friendly than before, and they both enjoy teasing the other and rile each other up. at some point they stop talking and enjoy the silence for a little bit and maybe it's the fact that it's kind of late and he's nostalgic, but kyle breaks the comfortable silence, whispering;

"even though i hate you with all my heart.." that was a lie. this year they grew closer and kyle realized not only that he liked eric, but that he actually never really hated him. "... i'm gonna miss you, man."

eric huffs a laugh. if kyle could be sincere with him, he could too.

"i hate you too." he lies. "but i'll miss you." they fall in silence again, and now is eric's turn to break it, feeling specially sincere that night. "hey," he starts. "remember that time when you moved to san fransisco?" he doesn't wait for an answer before speaking again. "that made me realize that nothing was the same without you... it wasn't as fun as before." he moved his head to look at kyle, who was already looking at him. fuck he thought. he looks beautiful. before embarrassing himself, he continued speaking, looking at kyle. "i can't believe i'm telling you this because i thought i would take this secret to my grave but... i did a plan to bring you back here. with butters, i mean. we did a plan to bring you back."

"really?" he asked, his green eyes gleaming.

eric explained him everything they (he) did and didn't miss any crazy detail. he told him everything they went through just to bring him back, and added that trying to replace him with butters ended up being more boring than originally planned. soon, he had kyle laughing at the anecdote. he couldn't believe eric did that for him, the ridiculousness of the situation and the fact that eric tried to replace him with butters of all people. and okay, fuck, kyle was beautiful laughing like that, eric couldn't hide his own smile.

kyle stops laughing and looks at eric, smiling at him. every coherent thought left his brain instantly, so he simply exhales and closes the distance between them, giving eric a short peck on the lips.

he immediately flinches and almost falls out of the bed with how quick he distanced himself. he blushes and starts frantically apologizing to eric, saying that it was an accident, that it was inappropriate and blah blah blah.

"shut up." says eric, grabbing kyle's cheeks with one hand, managing to make the ginger stop taking. he copies kyle's action, and gives him another chaste and short kiss. he stops squeezing kyle's cheeks and they separate again. they lock eyes for a few seconds before leaning in again and now kissing properly.

they make out for a while, one thing leading to another and well... they are boy. hormonal boys. i don't imagine that they fuck, i think they just masturbate together or maybe give the other a bj but you know what? i'll leave it up to you. you can even pretend this didn't happen. when they finish cleaning up (lazily, because eric doesn't want to be apart from kyle) they fall asleep together.

a few hours after, lianne knocks on eric's door and tells him that breakfast is ready. kyle and eric wake up and eric tells lianne that he would be downstairs in a minute. they look at each other in silence for a few minutes, kyle looking pensive and eric too sleepy to say anything.

that's when kyle has an idea, and he starts stripping eric off his shirt. eric starts panicking and tries to keep his shirt on. "wait, kahl." he says. "last night was great but i really need to go now."

kyle rolls his eyes and shuts him up with a kiss. one kiss becomes two, and three and four. kyle presses their foreheads together, eric looking confused but willing.

"i'm not going to do anything, dumbass." he explains, putting some distance between them. "i just want to keep your shirt."

"no." eric declines. "no way, this is one of my favorite shirts."

"i know." kyle replies, matter-of-factly. "that's the point. i will keep your favorite shirt so you have a reason to come back."

eric smiles at him, and concedes. "don't get too comfortable with it jew." he says, tossing the shirt at him, and searching in his suitcase for another shirt. "i will come back to get it."

they share a last kiss before lianne yells from the kitchen that the breakfast was getting cold. eric helps kyle get out from the same window and watches him go back to his house.

a few minutes later, eric and lianne are carrying the boxes and the suitcase in lianne's car. kyle couldn't go back to sleep, so he's watching them from his own bedroom. he watches as they get inside the car and how lianne starts driving, the car becoming smaller in the distance. he looks down at the shirt in his hands and clutches it. he wanted to put it on, but it had eric's smell on it and he didn't want it to disappear so soon. that shirt represented the promise that, some day, eric and kyle would see each other again.

AND THAT'S ALL!!!! well not all all. in my original idea they see each other again but many years later. eric comes back to south park and kyle has the old shirt forgotten in the back of his closet. he has a girlfriend now and they've been going out for a few years now. after eric left, stan kenny and kyle's friendship wasn't the same, they stopped seeing each other frequently and became good acquittanances (i hate that word) but do not fear because when eric comes back they start rebuilding their broship. the only thing that doesn't go back to normal is that now kyle has to fight his demons (bisexuality) and realize all over again that he's still in love with eric. he has a whole conflict with himself because he made a life without eric and now he has feelings for him again but he feels abandoned !! and also he is in a long-term relationship and he's happy !! but he hasn't talked to eric in years (let's say he changed his number or stopped reaching out at some point or whatever) and even if they spent YEARS apart, kyle had always had eric present in the back of his mind in some way or another (in the form of a shirt that has been forgotten) and now eric is back and his whole world and everything he constructed without him is upside down !!! but don't worry they figure it out and they end up together. this is not the official ending because this might as well end when eric leaves and have an open ending or it can end with eric not leaving, or him coming back as soon as possible, there's so many options... i'll leave it up to you, i like a little bit of drama and angst so i thought really quick about that last part that's why it is not as developed as the rest of the idea but !!!! who knows who knows everything is possible.

i just wanted to share my thoughts here because it's been DAYS and i can't get them off my head, it has been a while since i had kyman brainrot and now it came back at full force. blame the not suitable for children special for that (ik it didn't have kyman but it had eric and i love that little bastard so it all started with the eric cartman worms for brain and now here we are)

ANYWAYS I'M RAMBLING SORRY I LOVE TALKING hope you liked this any suggestions thoughts and or comments you may have are totally welcome !! have a nice day / night depending on when you are reading this hehe 🫶🫶

[princessbubblenumbsblog]

Hi again, so the second chapter! I hope y'all like this fluff. I gave my best on this chapter, however this is my first fic and english is not my first language, so apologies if anything sounds confusing, and please let me know in the comments. Again, any spanish spoken will be translated in the end, so don't worry ;)

Title: One And The Opposite

Rating: Teens and Up (swearing, mentions of sex)

Summary: After filling the shoes of his alternate self in a parallel universe, Miguel O'Hara swiftly discovers that embodying a different version of himself is far more challenging than he initially anticipated. As he juggles with the complexities of family dynamics, with a wife and daughter who both expect him to be the man they remember, he tries to stay afloat, grappling with the pros and cons of navigating two lives simultaneously.

OR

A domestic Miguel trying his best.

Chapter 2: Sweet reunion

"Gordo, eres tú? Ya llegué!" he hears a voice shout from down the hallway, as the door slams shut, followed by the loud noise of keys rattling and plastic bags crinkling.

Miguel turns around to look at her for the first time, and it's nothing like he thought it would be, to say the least. He imagines it’s like if he were living life immersed in tiger illustrations, and then got to see the real thing for the very first time. It feels like he’s standing in the presence of a real tiger, with its raw power, the rhythmic pulse of its fur, and the untamed wilderness echoing in its eyes. His breath catches as he steps back to really look at her in awe.

Moving through the kitchen in a busy sway, she goes about putting the groceries away, all the while speaking almost too fast to understand like every Spanish speaker ever. It’s as if she hasn't even spotted him there yet — so comfortable with his presence. 

"... Tu hermano no deja de llamarme, deberías ver qué quiere. Ah, y el 'forecast' del tiempo dice que el aire será irrespirable por unas horas, así que recuerda cuando te dirijas a... estas bien?" She asks, getting on the tips of her toes to give him a kiss.

As much as he tries not to, Miguel is startled by the sudden contact, and it must show on his face because she notices too.

"Que te pasa, mi amor?" She asks, a look of confusion in her face that makes her look even more beautiful.

"I uh... I... Just got robbed." He blurts out. 

Even after a day of practicing his Spanish accent, English still instinctively surfaces as his immediate response — it's become much more natural than his native language at this point. The perplexity in her eyes immediately turns into worry as she puts a hand on his face and examines him up and down.

"Are you ok? Did they hurt you!?" She thankfully also speaks English, although with a slight accent that Miguel can’t quite figure out where it’s from. 

"No, no, yo estoy bien. I'm fine just... A little shaken. He had a gun." He answers, gently holding her hand back.

She stares at him, a twinge of shock coloring her features, then looks down at his hand. He gets worried for a second that even though his talons are concealed, something else might be giving him away. Something he doesn’t know about. He can't help the way his heart must be beating a mile a minute, threatening to jump out of his chest.

"Well, you're safe now, okay? Don't worry about it too much." The way she casually utters it confirms for him that this sort of thing happens frequently here. She only smiles sympathetically at him, not even asking what they took — if anything.

He sighs in relief as she says that, and smiles back, taking the chance to get a good look at her face. 

Brown eyes like his, a few moles here and there. Worry lines between her brows that paint a picture of a woman who hasn't had everything handed to her, or the easiest life. He can't help but think he chose well. 

"Listen, I can go pick up Briella, you stay here and I'll-" she says, swiftly turning around to grab her keys.

"No, no, it's okay, I can do it. It's fine." He quickly insists, knowing he has to use every opportunity to get to know his family, and his alternate version better. 

"Okay. Pero ten cuidado mi amor." She warns, placing another kiss on his lips.

*

He gets there early, watching from his car as some parents start making their way towards the entrance. While he contemplates waiting inside the front office — an idea that might be a bit excessive, though it would allow him to catch an earlier glimpse of Gabriella — staying in the car seems neglectful at best. So he settles on waiting near the front of the school until the bell rings.

When it finally does, a crowd of kids emerges from the building, and with them a cacophony of screams and voices as he nervously shifts his weight around, willing himself to stay calm while trying to spot his daughter in the crowd.

“¿Apá?” She asks, right next to him . Miguel looks down at her, startled. 

He must have been so distracted looking through hundreds of faces, that he didn’t even notice her coming up to him. It doesn’t help that she’s tiny, barely reaching past his hips, and the school uniform makes her blend right in with the navy blue crowd.

“Oh hi there! You scared me!” He tells her with a laugh, trying to play it off.

Gabriella blinks at him. “You didn’t wait in the car this time.” 

Uh oh. Is that bad? Maybe she was embarrassed of leaving with her father, maybe the kids would make fun of her for it now. He quickly scans the surroundings, seeing not that many kids leaving with their parents.

“Uh… Right. Well, I wanted to walk with you, if that’s ok…” He explains, fighting the urge to lean down so she doesn’t feel as small to him.

Thankfully she just shrugs, and turns to leave after he offers to carry her backpack for her. They start walking in silence, with Miguel more afraid of being found out than he was earlier, with her mother.

It’s silly, really: She’s a child, barely nine years old. However, his mind keeps racing trying to figure out what to say, what to ask that’s not going to give him away immediately, while at the same time reassuring himself that it’s okay, that she doesn’t know yet.

“So… How was school?” He asks, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants.

“It was alright.” She answers dryly, staring at the floor as she walks.

“Soo was it alright as in boring, or…?” He risks the question, wanting to know more about her day.

She seems pensive for a moment, considering him. “It’s just that the boys keep making fun of me and Isa again. Even Sam joined in, and he doesn't even play soccer!” She frowns, continuing. “They keep saying we’re never gonna play like Messi Jr because we’re girls.” 

He can feel his fists closing into tight balls when she says that. He knows first hand just how insufferable boys her age could get, especially dealing with Kron and all the hell he’d put him through at school, but he also knows that when it comes to girls they act ten times worse. 

So even though he has no idea who ‘Messi Jr’ is, he figures instead of speaking out of anger and cursing the hell out of these boys, he should at least try and help her with her insecurities instead. 

“Why are you worried about being exactly like Messi Jr when you can be so much better than him?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at her.

She keeps silent for a moment, seeming hesitant. “Really? You think so?” 

“Of course I do! You’re great!” He answers honestly. 

Miguel remembers watching her play a little fútbol prior to coming here. He had been surprised to find out how good she played for her age before…  

Suddenly, he’s almost overwhelmed by the thought of what would have happened to her had he not been here. He has a vision of this lovely little girl he just met being thrusted into a childhood filled with grief. 

No paternal figure there for her. A perpetual sadness that got particularly worse on every father’s day, an endless list of things he would never get to teach her. A constant wondering of what it could have been, what would have been like to have him there. 

He can’t help but feel glad that he could take his place. That he could be there for her in this way and fill this void. It’s an impossible responsibility, yet one he’s happy to take nonetheless. 

Shaking his thoughts away, he continues. “And besides, it’s like you said, right? What does Sam know about soccer, he doesn’t even play! Also, there are some great women players around the world too.” He smiles with a sudden enjoyment, excited to play this role the best way he knew how to.

Gabriella looks like she notices his thrilled state, eyeing him sideways with a curious look. “I know, I know. It’s just that it annoys me, you know?” she says, back to looking pensive. 

“Yeah, that’s… True. And the more it annoys you, the more they do it…” He admits, more to himself than her.

Miguel didn’t want to be a walking cliché. He didn’t have much advice to give her, besides things he really wanted to say but couldn’t. Like: She’s a lovely little girl, that he’s glad to be here for her and she’s actually so much more than he ever imagined, that she could be anything she put her mind to, and already he couldn't think of a single thing he wouldn’t do if she asked him to. No, that would be too much in too little time. Instead, he had to go with what was appropriate.

“You know, you’re gonna find people like that everywhere you go. I have people I don’t like at work, too. The thing is how you deal with them. But don't worry, you’ll learn that with time. it’s not like there’s a recipe for it, you know?” He tells her.

She keeps quiet for a moment, listening to him. Was that also too much?

But then she just nods in understanding as he opens the door of the car for her to get in.

*

“Not again, Gabriella. Again!?”

“¿Qué?” Gabriella asks, rubbing her feet on a rug by the entrance of the apartment when the both of them come in.

“¿Cuántas veces te he dicho para no jugar fútbol con el uniforme? ¡Mírate! ¡Estás cubierta de pasto!” María raises her voice, pointing to her daughter's legs.

“But mooom! It was just a quick cascarita! And I’m not even that dirty!” Gabriella insists, gesturing towards her white socks, which funny enough are covered in green and brown spots, especially by the knees.

“¿A quién estás llamando 'mooom'? Anda, take it off and give it here.” She orders after letting out a breath. 

“Sí mamá.” Says Briella, pouting and dragging her feet to her room, looking annoyed.

Miguel also drags his feet by the threshold, setting his keys on a hook next to the door. He takes off his boots, eyeing the three pairs of slippers nearby. Hesitantly, he puts one of them on, the irony in the mundane gesture settling heavy in his chest, the weight of deception tugging annoyingly at his conscience.

Since he’s already taken a quick look around the place before she arrived from work, he gets to inspect things a little closer this time around.

The entryway is adorned with sleek porcelain tiles that extend seamlessly into the living space. A smart home system panel mounted on the wall offers control over lighting, temperature, and security, right next to the hook where he hung his keys. To the side, there’s a wall-mounted shelf holding a curated display of art and what looks to be some personal mementos. 

A water bill sits on top of it, the sight striking an odd chord — in a time where holographic displays and digital transactions were the norm, a paper bill practically seems like a relic from another time — but also allowing him to find out her full name, which he immediately commits to memory.

“I think she thinks the socks make her look more like a professional player.” María tells him a while later, while slicing some meat by the sink. “We should buy her a pair of those so she stops ruining her uniform.” 

He nods in agreement, putting a plate down as he lets the reality sink in, that this is really happening. This is his life now. 

He’s married, he has a beautiful wife, and he’s also father to a beautiful little girl. And he couldn't be happier. Couldn’t have asked for anything else in life. 

It’s like he just woke up from a bad dream, straight into the life he’s always wanted to live.

Like he’s exactly where he belongs. 

So he helps María with the food. Luckily, he must be incompetent at the kitchen in every universe, because her instructions are extremely detailed, as they prepare carne a la tampiqueña for three.

María yells for Gabriella to come, and they all eat in silence after joining hands around the table for a quick, silent prayer. 

*

Later, María is washing the socks while he cleans the table, and Maná plays in the background. She grooves with the rhythm, singing and humming now and then, completely oblivious to it all.

Objectively, he knows that he’s hiding a lot from her, but his heart can’t help but ache a little at how she’s not intimidated at all by his presence, in fact, she’s used to it. For once, he doesn’t feel like a freak or a monster the way he inadvertently does among the other spiders. 

She spots him there, lost in thought as he finishes up, and says “I heard they’re reconstructing his larynx.” 

“What?” He’s pulled from his thoughts by the weird phrase.

“Maná. The vocalist, I heard they’re reconstructing his larynx to help the A.I replicate his voice better. Can you believe that!?” She explains “That’s why I’m listening to their original songs, I heard it on the news today.”

He blinks slowly, trying to figure out if he’s supposed to be used to things like these. “That’s… Crazy, honestly.”

“Right? I mean, the fact that we aren’t able to tell the difference for most artists nowadays is already pretty insane to me, and now they’re reconstructing the larynx of a dead guy to make a robot replicate his voice better? Come on now!” She remarks, turning back to look at him.

“I know, it’s so wild to think about.” He says, taking the chance to look around the room. 

Sleek countertops adorned in marble, bearing the scars of a few culinary adventures that her and his alternate self probably didn’t have the time to clean yet; Rectangular windows above the kitchen sink, lined with cheap plastic containers labeled “basil”, “rosemary” and a few other herbs, bringing a nice green contrast to the brushed metal accents; A smart fridge on the corner, adorned with Gabriella’s drawings held by magnets all throughout it. Some things never change.

He approaches the fridge, taking one of the drawings to inspect it closer. It’s a crudely drawn version of him… His alternate self, with exaggerated triangular shoulders and, most tellingly, what looks like a phone buzzing in his hand.

María seems to notice his curiosity, approaching to look at the drawing too.

“Listen I know, you must be still a little shaken from… Before,” She tells him carefully “Just… Try not to think too much about it, okay? You’re here, you’re safe. That’s all that matters.”

He puts the drawing back as she places a cold hand on his face again, gently willing him to meet her eyes. 

“I know, I know. It’s just… I was afraid for a second, that’s all.” He says, sincere in his words but not the real meaning behind them.

“And that’s okay. I’m here.” She assures him, pulling him by the arm gently.

The low hum of the city outside is a distant lullaby as they settle into the living room.

She takes a bottle from on top of a cabinet, wordlessly pouring two cups. He takes a sip, letting the burning soothe his nerves.

"I didn’t think I'd make it back." He lies, gaze lingering on the symmetrical floor panels.

Her hand finds his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You did, and you're here now."

“Yeah… I am.” An inward glow softing his expression, the sensation of a smile blooming from deep within as he stares into her eyes.

As the night unfolds, the room is filled with shared glances and unspoken understanding. María lays her head on his shoulder, caressing him. 

And he can’t help but think that this could work. 

This could really work.

*

When they go to bed, after making sure Briella did her homework and wishing her goodnight of course, María takes off her bra in front of him, and slips on a loose nightgown.

He hates that for so many things that he had considered before coming here, this hadn’t even crossed his mind at all. Hesitantly, he pulls off his own clothes, not able to help how flushed red his face must be. 

Thankfully, María doesn’t seem to notice this, as she’s busy settling into bed and pulling the sheets towards herself. He sits besides her underneath them, awkwardly stiff, and she pulls him into a sideways hug, humming quietly. 

"You seem so different today." She observes, fingers lightly tracing circles on the sheets next to him.

He freezes, eyes widening but trying not to look at her.

"Yeah… It's been a long day.” He says, clearing his throat. “I'm just tired, that’s all. Besides, I gotta wake up early tomorrow. You know how it is, work.” He explains, thinking it’s a good enough excuse.

She turns to fully look at him, blinking in amusement. “It’s friday. Did you forget?” 

He closes his eyes. Fuck.

“Yeah, yeah, right. I meant workout, you know? Gym? I just need some rest.” He corrects, pulling away from her a little and cursing himself inwardly for talking so much.

She seems to get the message, recoiling as well.

“You and your Gym. Should at least try eating those packed proteins just like everyone else.” She tells him, turning her back to him, reaching for the light switch on her side of the bed and then finally lying back down.

"Well, you know how I am," He says, turning off his side of the bed lamp as well but still remaining upright. She hums in agreement.

“Goodnight?” He asks, reluctantly.

“Goodnight.” She replies, sounding already half asleep.

*

"Gordo, eres tú? Ya llegué!” = Fatty is that you? I’ve arrived! 

(Keep in mind that ‘gordo’ is a wholesome way to call someone in spanish, and doesn’t mean she actually thinks he’s fat nor that she is body shaming Miguel).

"... Tu hermano no deja de llamarme, deberías ver qué quiere. Ah, y el 'forecast' del tiempo dice que el aire será irrespirable por unas horas, así que recuerda cuando te dirijas a… estas bien?”

=

“... Your brother won’t stop calling me, you should see what he wants. Ah, and the weather forecast says the air will be unbreathable for a few hours, so remember that when you’re heading to… Are you ok?”

"Que te pasa, mi amor?” = “What’s up with you, my love?”

“Estoy bien” = “I’m fine”

"Okay. Pero ten cuidado mi amor.” = “Okay, but be careful my love.”

“¿Apá?” = “Dad?”

“¿Qué?” = “What?”

“¿Cuántas veces te he dicho para no jugar fútbol con el uniforme? ¡Mírate! ¡Estás cubierta de pasto!” = “How many times have I told you to not play soccer with your uniform? Look at you! You’re covered in grass!”

Cascarita = an informal, purely friendly soccer match in Mexico. The equivalent for a ‘pelada’ in Brazilian Portuguese, although if you search for the term, make sure to include the word ‘futebol’ after it, as ‘pelada’ on its own simply means ‘naked’ haha

“¿A quién estás llamando 'mooom'? Anda [...]” = “Who are you calling ‘mooom’? Come on [...]”

“Sí mamá.” = “yes mom.” 

Carne a la tampiqueña = a traditional mexican meat dish

Lyla, play Mi religión by Maná :) Also you can read it on ao3

[kanmom51]

JM Like crazy - my crazy thoughts

First of all, stream stream stream.

Now, let's talk about Like crazy a little.

I'm trying to soak it all in, so I will probably miss some stuff, but I'll give it a try.

The visuals are incredible, no doubt.

And the message is there, a little hidden, a little double twisted, so to speak, because I see what people are throwing out there. All heteronormative and all.

But peeps (gosh, I've been loving using that word lately), I see so much more than a man and a woman, that don't interact, did you notice that part all of you that are saying he's going in to kiss her. Like where the hell did you get that idea from?

I'm not going to do a second by second breakdown of the clip but I'm going to leave you with a few of my thoughts.

Oh, and so fucking what if he starts it out with "she"...does that mean the song is about a her? I really really don't think so. But I'll get to that.

This is a good explanation about the she:

Dropping this pic here too...

Oh, and I don't remember, did I say the English lyrics are different than the Korean. Imma gonna talk about the Korean, cause they're the ones that are on the clip, not to mention they are more telling, in my opinion.

Ok then, let's get going...

JM in the club.

Standing alone.

Zoom in on the eye then zoom out, flashback Serendipity. And why do I say Serendipity you ask? Well, because, you'll see ya'll. Stop being so impatient.

When he's singing:

"She's saying: Baby, don't think about it There's not a bad thing here tonight..."

The room is clean.

It goes on:

"baby it's fine if you leave, stay with me just for today" - room turns muddy, dirty.

That's where I feel the quote ends.

The she explained above makes so much sense in this context.

He continues with

"watch me go keep me drenched all night (away), so that morning gets drunk and never comes..."

I'm getting used to it

Did I come too far to find the me you used to know?

Yeah I know

You know

I know

I'd rather be...

Something look familiar?

Perhaps certain "I know you know I know" lyrics?

He is running into that bar/club and he's alone, he's drinking, he's 'having fun', but at the same time he's not, and when he's dancing and making contact with another, he has his arm around another guy.

This

Him walking against the stream, looked at, perhaps judged, and singing

I'd rather be lost in the lights I'm outta my mind

Please hold onto the end of the night...

walls closing in on him (hallway narrower than it was a second ago).

Now this part in the lyrics.

Nah, I will not accept any other interpretation (though I know there are hundreds of them), but nope, this is mine and I'm sticking with it:

Each night

you spin me up high

(psss...the dirt again people)

the moon embraces you

Let me have a taste

Give me a good ride

Ooh, surprise a queer couple...

Oh, and the colours...do we have gold/yellow and purple?

We have people making out, not JM. JM is by himself. It adds to the feeling of loneliness.

He's singing

forever you and I', but he's standing alone...

Then the bathroom scene.

Again he's alone.

I'm going endlessly crazy

I'd rather be lost in the lights

I'm outta my mind

(bathroom walls coming apart, leaving him standing alone...

Each night

You spin me up high

The moon embraces me

Let me have a taste

All while he's here:

Yes, he's 'showcasing' a hetero couple, but once again he's standing or sitting on that screen alone.

We have a hetero couple shown all while he's singing about what he'd rather be doing...

Then again, repeats the "give me a good ride", again standing alone in the crowd.

It's gonna be a good night

(oh I'm falling)

Forever you and I

No don't you wake me

I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me

I need a way we

I need a way we can dream on

Euphoria vibes much?

"Won't you please stay in my dreams, yeah...

Even if the earth crumbles No matter who shakes this world Don't let go of my hand Please don't wake me up from this dream"

Pausing one second here, crying a little.

Moving on...

He walks back into the room, on the way he's leaving muddy footprints, the room is dirty, muddy, his hands smeared with mud, which he spreads on the screen.

Yeah, every single work I say here can be total crap.

But it can also be all true. I certainly feel like it is.

There are too many references. Coincidences once again?

I don't think so.

Oh, and there's this:

That's it for now folks.

If I have more thoughts on the matter, I'll definitley come back.

This is me writing a few crazy thoughts after watching Like crazy a few times.

Go stream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jollyinha]

50 (+3) Facts About My Rook Listener (aka Félix)!

Because I love him in a hiperfocus kind of way 😭💙 If you want to see how he looks like, go to my yuurivoice tag, and you will find all my listeners! Although I probably should make an updated version, he has gotten a 2.0 version ever since... Also, tagging @itsargyle since they suggested taking other YV fans! I'm... Too shy to tag anyone else tho lmao

Anyway, here goes my big infodump on my favorite sunshine boy:

1 - Hey, I'm Félix Torres... Or not, because that's my middle name, and my actual name is Victor. But I'm not that fond of Victor, so I go by Félix!

2 - Victor was my mom's grandpa's name, and Félix is a tribute to my dad, whose name was Feliciano.

3 - Thanks to the acute accent, the correct pronunciation of Félix would be "feh-liks", not "fee-liks". Oh, and the "c" in Victor is mute. It's Vitor. But sometimes even I forget that it isn't supposed to be spelled like the gringos do, haha!

4 - My mom is Brazilian and my dad was Colombian. I was born in Brazil (Aracaju in Sergipe, to be more specific), but have been living in the USA for most of my life now. I used to spend the holidays in Colombia as a kid, but haven't been there ever since dad passed away... I really should pay it a visit again soon, though. It's a real nice country.

5 - I speak native Portuguese, fluent English and intermediary Spanish. I've been studying ASL (as of right now I just know basic stuff like "hi", "how are you?", how to introduce myself... But hey, at least I know the whole alphabet off the top of my head!) and French too, but it has been hard to find some free time... And when I do have it, I always end up drawing, crafting, cooking... Duolingo's owl wants to eat my ass.

6 - Speaking of which, these are my favorite hobbies! Drawing and painting are main passions in life, though. I've been in love with art as far as I can remember. I was in a few-years-long hiatus when it came to painting, only came back to it recently, but have been drawing non-stop ever since I was a little boy!

7 - When it comes to crafting, I enjoy many aspects of it... I've been really into papercraft these days. Origami, paper dolls, collages... But I also really like jewelry making and fabric painting (even if I find it so damn hard, haha!). I just love personalizing things in general. Sometimes, I see a piece of furniture, have an idea and just have to put my personal touch.

8 - I also know how to sew, but I can't say that I'm a big fan. I've tried crochet once, per example, and almost fell asleep on the couch. It's just a bit boring to me... But I'll gladly sew back a button or fix a hole if you ask nicely!

9 - And, last but not least, I love cooking! Not as much as I love to eat, but anyway. I picked up cooking as a way to deal with my pyrophobia and to bond with my uncle (he owns a restaurant!), and really took a liking to it... And modesty aside, I'm damn good at it!

10 - Speaking of which... I'm a bit of a bottomless pit when it comes to food! I'll eat (mostly) anything, am willing to try (mostly) everything and am hungry 24/7. Please, feed me.

11 - My favorite food is kind of specific, but: I love Thanksgiving pies. And breakfast foods. But anything that's chicken or has corn is also very damn good.

12 - I don't really like fruits. Most of them feel either bland (apples taste like NOTHING!) or straight up gross. I hate, HATE peach. Mango, guaba and pineapple too. Disgusting. I'm team vegetables all the way. Lemon and watermelon are the only ones that get a pass.

13 - My favorite ice cream favorite is chocomint!

14 - When it comes to drinks... I like coffee, as long as it has milk and unholy amounts of sugar (hate bitter coffee, as contradictory as it is). And while I'm not too big on alcoholic drinks, I like champagne.

15 - I also like biking, but, much like studying ASL and French, I don't have enough free time nowadays to really get into it again... But I try to bike every weekend I can!

16 - As a kid, I was in singing classes! I really enjoyed it and was pretty decent at it, but nowadays I do it just for fun. Love singing and listening to music around the house while doing other things.

17 - I have eight tattoos on total: Flower sleeves on both arms (featuring a clock among the flowers on the left arm and a bird on the right), music player symbols on the left side of my chest, "keep going" on the right side, an anchor on my upper back, a sun and a crescent moon on my lower back, a sea monster's tentacles going through my right hip and a paper plane on my left ankle!

18 - I also have a bunch of moles. On my face, on my back and on my chest. I used to be embarrassed by them, but nowadays, not nearly as much.

19 - I have been dyeing my hair blonde ever since college. I'm actually a brunette! I like being a blondie, but I'm considering going back to my roots... My hair is screaming for help. [He goes back to being a brunette and lets his hair grow after the events of Escape]

20 - Oh yeah, speaking of college... I have a Law degree. And am working on this field. Ya-hoo... Unfortunately, I needed a more lucrative career to support my family. But my long-term life goal is to be able to quit and live from art! And I like to believe I'm almost there.

21 - I pierced my ears in college too! I usually only wear my lucky sun earrings, but if I'm feeling fancy, I can go with a larger one.

22 - I considered becoming an English major for a while, but didn't happen either.

23 - I have a weird love for plaid jackets (of any color, but especially blue ones) and grungy bracelets. If you wanna give me anything that's wearable, going with either of these is the safest bet! Can't ever have enough of these!

24 - My favorite animals are octopuses (I had an obsession with sea monsters as a kid and this love never really died) and peacocks (they're just awesome)!

25 - My lucky number is sixteen, because my birthday is on February 16th, and because if you put "Félix Victor" together, there's a sixteen in Roman numerals right in the middle: XVI!

26 - Also, I'm 30 as of 2024, and... It's terrifying, to be honest. Buuut I'll find comfort on the fact that I look like I'm 20, hehe.

27 - This one will be hard to explain, but... I really like the sun. From summer to sunflowers to sun imageries... I like the sun. And all because of my dad. It's a long history, but yeah.

28 - I have a younger sister, her name is Alice! She's in college right now, she's History major! And... She's my pride and joy.

29 - And I also have five younger cousins: Ariel, Rafael, Leon, Joyce and Mercedes! I love them all, they're like my siblings. [Joyce is actually my Sunflower listener!]

30 - I... Have a... Weird relationship with my mom. It has been getting worse these last few years... Ah, nevermind, I shouldn't have brought this up.

31 - I had three relationships in my life... Well, three and a half, if you count that high school fling, but I digress: My first boyfriend lasted, like, half a year of my freshman year in college. It was nice, we just realized quickly that neither of us were serious. And my second boyfriend... Ergh. Tristan. We began dating in my junior year, and had a pretty messy break-up right after my graduation...

32 - ...But, nearly a whole decade after that, he sent me a DM on Instagram asking me how I was, and I mistakenly thought he became a decent human being. Hell, he was the one who got me my current job. He works in the Marketing department and was kind enough to tell me that Legal was hiring. I thought that we could at least be friends again, but... He's still a pain in the ass, at the end of the day. And still wants me back. ERGH...

33 - ...But, actually, I should thank him for that. Ironically, by trying to get back with me, he got me my third and current boyfriend... And... I won't talk too much about our relationship, but... This is the happiest I've ever been with someone. I mean it.

34 - Ok, how do I say this? I... Have been told that I... Have a pretty high libido. Or, if you want to be meaner, I'm a horny bastard. I... Will not elaborate if that's true or not. [It Is Literally Canonical]

35 - But even if I WAS a horny bastard, I'm a romantic at heart, believe it or not! I like being swept off my feet! I like flowers! I like cheesy pick-up lines! I like cuddles, god, I really like cuddles... Anyway.

36 - I'm a petite lil' guy. I'm 1m69cm tall... Or 5'8ft.

37 - I have ADHD. I was diagnosed when I was 20. I've been taking meds to help with my lack of focus, and it really has been helping.

38 - I also have insomnia. It isn't as bad as it was a few years ago, but it still sucks.

39 - My favorite song of all time is "Don't Stop (Color on the Walls)" by Foster The People!

40 - My favorite movie of all time... It's a tie between Footloose and Burlesque.

41 - My favorite animated movie of all time is Ponyo!

42 - My MBTI is ENFP, my Enneagram is 2w3, and I'm an Aquarius!

43 - In my opinion, my biggest strengths as a person are that I'm pretty charming, I can get along with nearly any kind of person (given enough time), and that I'm notoriously hard to piss off. As long as you're not messing with my loved ones, it takes A LOT to make me actually angry.

44 - And my weaknesses... Well, I let people get away with stepping all over me pretty frequently... And I'm very restless. And I don't mean only physically, I mean like... Mentally. I feel like I'm a shark: If I stop moving, I'll die, y’know? Oh, I've been told that I can be pretty shameless and a bit nosy... And, welp. I... Can't really deny that.

45 - I hate the cold. I hate winter. I hate snow. Fuck you, northern hemisphere.

46 - I really like sitting on the floor, ever since I was a little boy. It just... Grounds me. No pun intended.

47 - My favorite color is blue, but yellow and orange are also lovely... And I've been getting real fond of red these days. Hehe (Can't believe that it took me this long to say my favorite color, we're on fact 47th...).

48 - I'm a dog person! I never got to have one, though...

49 - I, not-so-secretly, really like cute things. I may or may not have a big octopus plushie on my bed. And may or may not love Pompompurin and Gudetama.

50 - I'm overall pretty confident on my looks... Except for my smile and my laugh. My ex-boyfriend (Tristan) once said that my smile is wide enough to be scary, and my mom said that my laugh is too loud, and I've been restraining myself from truly smiling and laughing out loud in public ever since. But I tend to let go when near people I trust.

51 (bonus!) - I have a very sensitive neck... Now, if I see it as a good thing or a bad thing... Depends on what your intentions are... If you know what I mean.

52 (bonus!)² - I'm also pretty great at typing. My words per minute game is insane, modesty aside.

53 (bonus!)³ - I... Can be a little bit jealous when I'm dating someone. I was never a pain in the ass about it, I mostly just sulk in silence, but... Yeah. It's my toxic trait.

[lawlietscaramels]

I have a question about rie. I know she has a lot of alternate names/aliases, but I’m not really sure on who uses what name, if that makes sense? Like, do specific people call her certain things? Oh! And does L have any cute nicknames for her?

-🎲

Aliases ╾ Rie

YIPPEE!!!!?!!

Any excuse to drag Rie onto main 🩷 and to procrastinate on my other drafts...

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

I'll organise by the basic rule: the main reason she has so many aliases is to help blend in – depending on the country. It won't work everywhere, of course. So, country - names - about the name - nicknames - about the nicknames.

╾ JAPAN

please note: the kanji in brackets are ordered last name - first name, as is typical in Japanese names. So Rie is not 高村 but rather 理恵.

Rie Takamura (高村理恵). I picked this because Rie is a fairly common name for girls meaning "reason". As for Takamura, it's like most common Japanese surnames in that it's somewhat geographical. Specifically, it means "high up village."

Hina Suzuki (鈴木陽菜). I actually don't know the exact meaning, but I didn't pick it for that: Hina and Suzuki are incredibly common names (think John Smith). It has the anonymity of Jane Doe.

Nicknames: Riri (by me; maybe by Matsuda and/or Misa). Miss Rie-san (by L. two honorifics...). Rie Pie (by "Matty Beef Patty" and "Mello Jello," because they got cross at her and decided to give her a taste of her own medicine. She's soooo pissed off that it doesn't rhyme).

╾ USA, UK, CANADA, AUSTRALIA etc...

Rue Dixon. I'm not sure if I ought to add a middle name. Rue I picked simply because it sounded similar to Rie (I didn't pick her real name, or even that she was French, until later. That probably sounds weird, but my creative process is too I guess..) and – come on. The meaning is so cool. Later, I learned BB uses it as an alias, which I'm just going to play into MWAHAHA (sobs). As for Dixon, it's after Elizabeth née Dixon, mother of Mary Wollstonecraft, mother of Mary Shelley.

Nicknames: um, Rue... (by Naomi. The "um" is a permanent fixture/hj). This is her name throughout Another Note.

╾ FRANCE

Reinette Rose Descôteaux (real name. how dramatic are her parents (me)). I struggled picking this name. I speak English (unbelievably) and I've been studying Japanese for a long time, but I've never really touched French up until developing Rie. I just picked something that sounded nice and didn't have an objectionable meaning for her first name. I kind of stomped over the fact middle names are uncommon in France and patched it up with the fact some kids have, like, dual first names (I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm thinking of things like Marie-Belle). As for Descôteaux, HOPEFULLY, it means something to do with gardens.

Aurélie Rousseau. I don't have any plans to use this one in RieCanon so far – perhaps in proLogue: 1429. Same process as above with the first name. Rousseau came up in my sociology class along with a couple of other white dead guys, and I thought the name sounded nice and Rie-ish.

Nicknames: Reine-Rose (L. He pronounces it wrong, pretty much just to annoy her. "Rainy rose" instead of "rehn rose"). Rosey (by L, about twice a year, when he feels cutesy). Pétalette (by her parents. I'm still figuring out Rie's childhood).

╾ INTERNATIONAL

1429 (fourteen twenty-nine). This is a real alias Rie goes by, even though it's not a name, and it's her main title throughout my fan made prequel arc. I don't remember how exactly I picked the number, but I like it.

Nicknames: Cat (by L, strictly once. She calls him mouse for a good while).

╾ OTHER

Rie goes by "L" a lot too. It's an agency more than a person. I feel like I read that somewhere, but there's an equal chance I made it up... Anyway, she does most of the PR stuff, and takes over if L gets sick or if she knocks him out to get some rest.

I'm trying to figure out if she went to Wammy's, or if there was time for her to meet the kids between 1429 and LABB, or something else. If she went, she'd go by Q or maybe X. I think different kids left at different times, so different letters opened up at different times. It's the simplest explanation I can think of, though I must admit it still doesn't answer everything. What is that again? Occam's razor?

[ladyseidr]

some light-hearted and/or silly headcanons for the fn.af muses!! ( crossed out because some kept getting sad or dark sorry LMAO )

is a big fan of snow. his family used to travel to the mountains regularly ( i swear this headcanon isn't getting any sadder than that. ) obv it's a lot less likely to snow in hurricane, but y'know. if it ever did? oh boy. it's definitely a very bad idea to let him out into it ( melting water getting into his circuitry and all that ), but he will ask. more than once. insistently. catch him standing in front of the windows just staring outside

absolutely does have a british accent despite it making so little sense ( born in utah to a very english father, a french american mother with an indecipherable accent, and surrounded by americans. it's funny to me. ) he tried to lose the accent post-william going missing. it lasted a singular attempt in public. he just can't fake accents. he will reply to any questions about where in england he's from with a deadpan "utah" however, and yes he does find that kinda funny

genuinely actually like so good with kids. not just the big performing and playing, but she's very good with the emotional side of things. she's hung out with kids who were left alone or had been bullied more than once. she generally gets very attached to individuals who spend time with her and remembers things like names and birthdays completely organically ( as in, susie remembers them herself ) on the flip side, she doesn't take it well when an older child stops coming to the pizzeria or a family moves away. in many ways, she sees herself like those children she tries to help—rejected and alone, save for the band

completely oblivious to the animatronics becoming haunted until it's near impossible to ignore. definitely thinks their coding is just fucked up at first. he only really decides even that when he's working late one night, looks up, and sees bonnie just standing in the half-open door. staring. he doesn't recognize the actual hauntings for years. at first because he simply doesn't believe in ghosts, and, later, because he's in denial. either way, the animatronics speaking to him in strangely human ways will always send shivers up his spine

aunt who lets her niece and nephews get away with literally anything. william is like "please don't let them have too many sweets while i'm gone" and she's like "yeah no of course" and then the door shuts and she turns to them and is like "so let's go out for ice cream" in all seriousness, jayne dotes because she knows shit's been hard ( the divorce, and then later the loss of CC and elizabeth ). she can and will try to dote on mike even when he's a teen/adult because she really does sympathize. ( mini bonus william hc: he absolutely knows this goes on, but jayne just generally gets a free pass from him on most things LMAO )

he really does just have the time of his life when he first becomes sentient. like, he's not really fully aware during The Horrors, and he genuinely loves performing. unironically views william as his perfect, amazing creator until he does realize. spring is never dangerous in the way the others are—he's not haunted, not really. still, he wanders at night, even when he's long, loooong out of use. he talks with far too much self-awareness to night guards and other staff. he begins to glitch out generally, but he's usually only dangerous toward one person: william.

[chimericchaos]

Minor rant, yes I did just come from the Big Tugg video on how english is stupid and I entirely agree with him on that

What I do not at all agree with is the opening of the video entirely dedicated to hating children - he just goes out of his way to say "oh yeah before I start this video, I fucking hate kids" and then gives a list of things kids don't know, (because, they're kids) and dunk on them for not knowing stuff

And I find it kinda ironic the person who says that kids should not feel proud of learning- sorry, memorizing- the alphabet, also mispronounces the word Celtic not ten seconds later. Perhaps we all could learn a thing or two by expanding our general knowledge and studying cultures and languages outside our own?

Speaking of languages, side-tangent-within-a-side-tangent, removing s or k and compounding them both into c is a shit take that I'm seeing way too much, when the obvious answer is to get rid of c, it only functions as a replacement for s or k and in either function it creates unnecessary problems (it's really unnecessary for "unnecessary" to be spelt like that but different topic) and that's why a Bunch of fucking languages around the world do Not include a c, such as the language I was forced to learn since birth and Still cannot speak: Afrikaans. There is not a single c in that language and I have never had a spelling mistake from s or k ever. Other mistakes sure but not concerning those.

And you may be wondering "well why can't we just contract the sounds into less letters to save space in the alphabet?" Because while that would not necessarily be so bad, that shit gets real out of hand real fast the more you do it, and all I'm saying is don't come knocking when you can't spell doodle when your a's are also e's and your u's are also i's

Anyway back to the topic of hating kids

This may seem like a wildly specific rant about one youtuber mentioning it offhand once, but I assure you this is not the first time today I've heard this. I hear this multiple times a week. From different people

For some damn reason it's kinda always been a popular take to hate kids and openly talk about how much one would like to see them suffer, and I don't fucking understand it at all???

Like, ok, you find their constant questions and mumbles and movements and other weird sounds very annoying, cool, I find the several cats outside my window doing many unsavoury things to each other each and every night annoying but I still don't talk about it like it's ok to hurt them

And maybe we can take a moment to rationalize the fact that kids tend to ask a lot of dumb things and say a lot of dumb things, because they're dumb?? they have far less experience on this earth than anyone who knows the definition of "economy", and do not yet know how to do basic living shit like how to cook a whole ass chicken, and they don't need to just yet, that's the point

People who don't know shit are going to do and say things as a consequence of not knowing shit

And this is very much a long-winded vent about something that doesn't really effect me at all, but I do in fact see it as a personal problem because not too long ago I too was a kid that didn't know shit, and I was a piece of shit because of it, sure, but something I very much remember is having to deal with people who hated me simply for existing, and I no longer have to deal with people hating my existange as a child, yes, but I still have various other unchangable things about myself that people hate me for, so through that experience I don't think it's a good thing to hate kids just because they're kids, regardless of how annoying the youtube comments are, and at the very least if you're going to think the spawn of your fellow humans are actually the spawn of satan, please do not talk about like it's a normal ass thing

And hey, maybe there's also a part of my brain that has yet to even fucking register that I'm in my roaring 20's now, so that may be why when I come across people hating kids I feel personally attacked

So with that knowledge, if you say to me that you hate kids, for whatever reason, rest assured I already hate you

[tiarnanabhfainni]

i forgot you can't edit draft ask answers so i have to answer a photo sorry!

what are my opinions on it? i think it's excellent and i wish i could see it live (if someone knows a theatre where it's being staged let me know). mostly i like how deeply interested it is in language and in the dynamics of colonisation. im not necessarily a genius at literary analysis but here were the things that set my brain spinning. under the cut because this got long

1. Language

there are multiple languages at play here. all of the people of baile beag speak irish and only the master of the hedge school and his sons speak english. but hugh also knows greek and latin! his sons clearly also understand a great deal of latin. the infant prodigy is also fluent in classical greek and latin. many of the attendees at the hedge school also understand bits of latin, as far as i remember they all engage in hugh's call and response game. these are not stupid people, they are all clearly capable of engaging with other languages and understanding them. it's just that english is not one of those languages. meanwhile the soldiers are all monoglots who can only speak english. this is underlined by my one of my favourite exchanges in the play where jimmy asks "Nonne Latine loquitar?" and lancey responds "I do not speak Gaelic, sir." the soldier cannot communicate with the locals and they are viewed with suspicion. because the two groups cannot communicate with each other without an intermediary the tension build until it climaxes at the end of the play. i also think it's notable that the only soldier who does engage with the irish language is the only one who gets invited to the dance. it's also interesting that he's the one who's goes missing at the end.

2. Owen and Anglicisation

speaking of intermediaries, this brings us to the character of owen! there are three characters in this play who speak both english and irish fluently. hugh the schoolmaster, manus his son who assists him and owen, the son who left to work in dublin and seems to have been hired by the british army while he was there. he is such an interesting character as he seems to embody the process of anglicisation in the play. im going to get more into his role in expanding the themes of translation as a site of colonisation later but his main job seems to be assisting in anglicising the place names in the area. since he knows irish he can read out the names and give their literal translation so the soldiers know what their options are for changing them. but owen himself is literally anglicised! when they first arrive, both yolland and lancey refer to him as "roland" because they are unfamiliar with his actual name. and it reveals how little they know or respect him as a person (esp lancey). they can't even get his name right and they don't care to. the army has flattened him into the utilitarian role they need him for. which is owen is helping them to do with the place names! they are literally making an ordnance survey for military purposes. the old names are too difficult for soldiers to find their way around so they're changing them to make it easier. and they flatten them to this end. droim dubh literally means black ridge but it gets changed to drom duff which means... nothing. or bun na habhann (mouth of the river) becomes burnfoot which has no link to the actual location in question and mostly is chosen because it sounds nicer than banowen. there is an earlier conversation with his brother where own dismisses the changing of his name, saying "it's only a name. it's still the same me, isn't it?" which seems to the same thought process he goes through with these places. the place stays the same so who cares about the name? this argument is refuted by owen himself in the most significant moment of this scene: the conversation about tobair vree. owen is mostly defending himself here but there is the sense that he does care about the history of the area, that he does feel guilty about what he's doing. and that whole passage is a statement about what is happening. that this process of renaming is erasing a people, a memory, and a history. significantly, it is only after this outburst that he can correct yolland about his own name.

Translation

owen again, what a guy. anyway this play is deeply interested in how translation functions. it's not a purely negative portrayal, hugh's opening scenes are full of little translation games where he invites his students to translate his words back to him. he gives a latin word or phrase and so the whole room participates in this process of making meaning across languages. when jimmy is trying to get his point about athene across he translates portions of the odyssey to hugh, to include him in his reading, to let him understand what is being said. he calls her "the flashing-eyed Athene". translation can be inclusive here. but when owen is asked to translate lancey's words to the students in the hedge school, there is another side of translation. the sharp edge of the blade if you will. he softens lancey's words, he omits information about the military nature of the project, he mistranslates. this is pointed out to him by his brother manus but he shakes it off with some off the cuff quote about uncertain and incipient meaning. the intent of the translator really does matter.

im tired so im gonna stop here but i have so many more thoughts that i could keep going with: yolland' imperial family and how he can't escape that baggage even though he tries, lancey threatening the community with yolland as an excuse, manus' disdain for english and how he literally flees to an irish-speaking island, the new national school and how everyone will speak english (attendance mandatory), hugh not being chosen as schoolmaster, maire viewing english as a way to get out and advance socially, the heartbreaking passage about norfolk and where yolland is from, yolland's own disappearance as a symbol for the souring relations between the army as an enforcer of empire and the locals, the donnelly twins hanging like the sword of damocles over the play, the death of the baby, things that were jokes at the start of the play being deadly serious at the end, hugh always forgetting his third point just like the play leaves so many threads hanging at the end, etc. etc.

[lvlyghost]

All The Nights to Come

Pairings: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Summary: You get hurt during a mission.

Word Count: 900+

Tw: strong language, blood, angst, comfort towards the end. grumpy ghost as usual. bad grammar, and probably a lot of typos. not proofread 🫶🏻✨💞

A/N: just a little one-shot to help me with writer's block. next I'll be working on another part of salvation and a third part of the things i never said since a lot of you asked 🥹💛 remember english isn't my first language, corrections are welcome 🤍

Masterlist✨

You didn't know how to stay out of danger. Or at least that's what all of your teammates said. Especially Ghost.

Ghost. You had a complicated... relationship with the Lieutenant.

Polar opposites.

That's what he had called you both one day.

He's the darkness that comes at night, you're the light he'd gladly let consume him.

"Stop distracting me." He grumbles staring straight ahead. You chuckle at his growing annoyance.

"We're in the middle of nowhere, Ghost. The worst thing that could happen is tripping with a rock." You roll you eyes. "How about we play something, we still have one hour left until we reach the evac point."

"No."

"Comen on! There's no one around." He sighs, but doesn't say anything. You decide to not push his limits. You've started to know him more and more, as much as he would allow, of course. "Is something bothering you?" you finally ask, head tilting down to watch your step. Again the only response you get is silence. "If this is about what happened last night..."

"It's not that." He gruffly interrupts you. Irritated that you're even bringing it up.

"You were the one who said this couldn't happen anymore. So you might as well make up your mind Ghost." You walk faster, leaving him behind, or as much as you can considering his strides are easily longer than yours.

"I am your superior, what the fuck am I supposed to do, kid?" You clench your jaw, hating how his words are setting deep in your heart. The way he emphasized the word superior. "I could get us both suspended, or even worse get us kicked out of the military! Am I really the only one who's thinking?" He seethes.

"Oh well!" You feign amusement. "I'm sorry, I didn't think you cared enough when were fucking each other in my room..." Ghost's body freezes for a brief second before he keeps walking. "If you're bloody scared of letting me in you should've just said it. No need to fucking hurt me like I'm nothing."

"The fuck did you just say? Have you not heard a word I just told you?!" His accent becoming more prominent every time he speaks. "I'm trying to protect you, I don't bloody care what happens to me."

Ghost doesn't notice it, too enraged, looking down at you as he walks closer. But you do.

You see the reflection, a small glimpse of the scope. The sun shining down on the sniper's rifle. Everything moves in slow motion, you scream... or at least you try to, pushing Ghost with all the strength you have. He stumbles a few steps to the side, the pure shock in your face as you realize what's about to happen. A bird chirping in the distance, and what sounds like a cascade near, a river flowing before it hits you. Right on your left shoulder, a shot that was aimed at his heart.

Ghost's heart.

And you take it instead. It pierces through flesh and bones, hurting like million of bullets. Your sight goes black as you start falling, body helplessly hitting the muddy terrain. Shots are fired, a loud shriek and a deep voice echoing but it's so far away. It's getting harder to regain consciousness.

"Why the bloody hell did you do that!?" Fear glowed in his eyes. Ghost's big gloved hand pressing down the wound on your shoulder, the fabric quickly becomes stained with crimson red blood.

Your blood.

"S-Sir?" You choke up. Fighting to keep your eyes open.

Focus on him.

"I'm going to fucking have you on desk rotation for this." He grits his teeth. "Don't you do that ever again. Not for me. Never for someone like me." He leans closer, managing your body in his hands so he can take a better look. He breathes when he sees the exit wound.

"It's my duty..." you murmur, with half-lidded eyes. "To shield and protect my superiors..." you breathe out.

"Don't give me that shite." He scolds you. "I'm the one who's supposed to protect my team." Not just his team. The truth was that he wanted to protect you, he had to. "Now keep those pretty eyes on me, yeah? That's an order sergeant." He commands.

You laugh, with what low energy you have left.

"Sir? You and I both know I'm not good at following orders." He reaches his medical pouch, disinfecting and wrapping as many bandages as he can on your wound.

"Now's a good time you start listenin', kid." He picks you up with more gentleness that's he's ever experienced himself. Who would've thought that a man like him could care for someone else. He has the softest touch, you think. "Think you can hold on until we get there?" He asks, looking down to your face, body too small and light in his arms. If he could kiss you right now...

"Sure thing, Ghost." You murmur, wincing when he starts walking. "This is not what I had in mind when they said we were going to Spain. We could play that game now, right?

A soft chuckle rumbles deep in his chest, making your lips tilt up in a weak yet heartwarming smile.

"Fuckin' hell, love" he doesn't lose sight of your eyes. "I guess we can. As long as you keep talking to me. Don't you dare go somewhere I can't follow."

"Don't think you'll get rid of me that easily, Sir."

[foxys-fantasy-tales]

WIP Playlist Tag Game

Tagged by @mrbexwrites. Thank you! <3

Rules: list at least 4 songs from your current WIP playlist, or just a writing playlist you’ve been using lately, and the lyrics that speak to you the most! 

I'll be using Arigale for this, though I'm currently looking at Made to Taste as well.

Karliene - Become the Beast

Splinters of my soul cut through your skin Burrow within, Burrow within So embrace the darkness That will help you see That you can be limitless and fearless If you follow me

This song is for both Yani and Judith. Later on in the series, Yani discovers something about them both and begins to attempt to talk Judith into joining him instead of hunting her down. He offers her something very hard to refuse and the way the two are mirrors really comes to light. Judith has to consider if getting what she's longed for most, and would otherwise be impossible, is worth the destruction Yani will carry out soon afterward.

Nathan Wagner - Trauma (nightcore)

All I ever wanted was to be loved by somebody But the man I used to be is so far gone Circling through memories All this trauma gets me trembling No I can't let you in it's been too long I'd rather feel nothing at all Than have to deal with all the pain inside my heart When she died I swore I'd never love again And it's been years but I'm still calloused up like this

This song is for Rahat. Poor guy. He lost someone he really cared about two years prior to his entrance into the story. He never got to tell her how he felt, and she didn't get to tell him she felt the same. He had a terrible condition with a ritual contract that made him lose his memory over and over each year, so when this happens and he was rooming with the girl who was terminally ill to care for her as friends... Well, she flips the script and cares for him best she can. Sadly, after a few months she took a sudden turn and died. Months after that happened, his unknown contract expired and he could recall everything he'd ever lost in clear detail over a very long time. A cousin of the girl keeps trying to talk to him some time later, but he keeps kicking her out and is very standoffish and reclusive then. A complete turnabout from how helpful and kind he'd been.

Tommee Profitt (feat. Sam Tinnesz) - The Hate Inside

The walls of freedom Come crumbling down The moment you put those chains Around you now Like liquid poison It takes it's toll Black feathered arrows That pierce your soul The hate inside Will eat you alive

This song is for Varin. This one's pretty literal for him word for word honestly. I was so happy when my illustrator showed it to me. Varin was an outcast from his city at a young age and grew to detest the unfair conditions his father had that made him and his mother be banished. He grows older, trains with a new father figure, but always things are a struggle. He keeps that hate in him rather than enjoy his new life at all. Yani comes around and offers him a deal that he takes, even though he was a child of prophecy and likely had the power to meet his goals anyway, he's turned power hungry after so much has been out of his control. He accomplishes revenge, but then goes overboard and the deal he'd made comes back to bite him as his body changes along with his attitude.

Johnathan Young (English Cover) - Unravel

I'm breakable, unbreakable I'm shakeable, unshakeable Unraveling since I found you And now I'm turning to dust in a world that's twisted Don't come searching when I go missing Close your eyes or just try to look away Don't want to hurt you We live in a world someone else imagined The ghost of what's left of me all but vanished Remember my heart How bright I used to shine

This song is for Maleth and he would say these things to Calista. Maleth is an archmage who sacrificed himself centuries ago to become a vessel of a spell that keeps Arigale afloat. If he moves from his tower, then Arigale will fall and destroy not only itself but surrounding areas. So, Maleth sits in his tower until he summons Judith and Chit to go off on their adventure to retrieve the other artifacts below, so he may disarm this spell safely. He has hopes that they may also find that his old flame, Calista, is still kicking. He left her without warning and was only in proximity to the area this ritual was being cast to save Arigale and some people from a catastrophe because he had found his tower and the books it contained he needed research from to break a spell he had on him. He felt he must do this before he could be with Calista fully and planned on marrying her. However, in a twist of fate, saving himself from one terrible fate threw him into another as the keystone and took him farther still from her. He still holds an image of her, sustained memory in crystal that he watches over and over, but he has forgotten her voice over the long time apart. He hopes she remembers him. He wishes things were how they were when they met, when he was foolhardy and claimed to be stronger than he was and fumbled over his words meeting her. When she shined, like she does in that crystal, devoid of a voice and locked in time as he has become.

Whew! That was longer than intended! I really love all these characters and my playlists are all very well organized for Arigale and ahhh! I hope you enjoy. T_T Tagging: @kingkendrick7, @jezifster, @vacantgodling, @sleepyowlwrites, @authoralexharvey, and @author-a-holmes

[vergeofinsanity]

My experience as a latine

Growing up, grappling with this identity was never easy. My family was all darker than me, but treated me as like them. I was taught to make tortillas by my tíabuela and played in her living room with my many cousins on the weekends. But, on Monday when i went to my -primarily white- school and tried to tell them about my weekend and my time with family, I was made fun of. My classmates would put on an accent and make fun of me, tell me I was too white to be Mexican. And I believed them.

When I talk to my mom about our heritage, she doesn't even know where to stand. She doesn't feel comfortable calling either of us real Mexicans, saying we are too white and are drowning out other's voices. That we don't have the same experiences and could never place ourselves with our family. My grandpa never wanted to be hispanic. His parents were illegal immigrants, and he had to take care of the whole family. He assimilated, speaking english, forgetting Spanish and never learning Purépechan where he could stay away from it. He refused to teach me Spanish when I was a baby and now I can barely speak it. I was told to not call him Mí Abuelo. My mom and I have had to reteach ourselves our culture and learn from further removed family.

In high school , most of my friends were also hispanic. But, we were diverse in our ways. Some of us "looked" more hispanic, but lost their culture. Some of us didn't "look" hispanic, but were deep in the culture, etc. I spoke to all of them, and no matter how deep our conversations got, I still felt less hispanic than any of them. It felt like they all had a step up on me, even if they didn't.

I am now in college. It is hard to feel connected to my culture when I'm so far away from the people who keep me dearly in their hearts. But, my mom brings me my sopita y pollo, grabs some tamales on her way to visit me. I work to remember who I am. But, I am not progressing in my hispanic identity. But, I am having new experiences. In fact, it's one of these that sparked me to write this.

I am on the diversity coalition exec board at my college. I was doing work with my president and advisor, who are both hispanic and black. We started talking about identity and ethnicity and I brought up that I am Mexican, and one of them asks my ethnicity and then goes "Oh, so you're White passing?" Then, to relate to me mentioned how they both identify as Black passing.

And I froze. Usually, when I am having conversations with people of color, I tend to step back and let them speak. Their voices matter more than mine, and I don't expect to be taken seriously for my ethnicity due to how I look. So to be told that it is important that I am this, they are similar, and that they see it? It is a completely new feeling. Maybe I can be taken seriously as someone who is hispanic. It made me feel seen.

So, now I need to figure out what to do with this new information, I guess. I'm sure that conversation seemed insignificant to both of them, but this is big to me. I have so much more to find out, but for now, I can happily say I am a hispanic person. And I am proud of that. I am allowed to be proud of that.

[everythingfangirl19]

The Story of Alopex and Tiger Claw

Do you remember the episode of TMNT 2012 "The Tale of Tiger Claw" where we met the Alopex of this version, who is Tiger Claw's sister and that his actual name is Takeshi and how they became mutants.

After that, de didn't saw to much about her relationship except that that Alopex resented Tiger Claw for their mutation, and that they wanted to kill each other after a fight that they had. Well, because of that, and because I like a little bit the drama, I'm going to write MY version of their relantionship.

So first, as de learn in the episode, they became mutants when they were children after they crossed a Kraang Portal, and the Kraang experimented with them until they finally escaped and joined a circus where they trained their new overhuman habillities, but after sometime they decided to do something else and became criminals.

Until that part, everything remains the same, right? Except that Alopex resents her brother, not for make them mutants, after all they decided to cross the portal together; she resents him for drag her in such inmoral life, unlike his brother that actually enjoys the criminal life.

Alopex grew hating her brother for that, but not doing anything because deep down she stills love him.

It's not until many years later that she tries to convince Takeshi to leave that kind of life, but he refuses to and they fight, after that he wins but doesn't kill her, instead her warns that if she does that again, she would die.

After some time everything goes by as normal, until Alopex decides to sabotage a mission of his brother in vengeance, and the they fight, first with a discussion, and later in a mortal fight.

They were at the same time followed by the police (bc the failed mission of before accidentally left clues so the place could find them) and just as they were entering, Takeshi escaped, hurt and without his tail, but not before hurting Alopex with mortal wounds, he escaped thinking that she will die, but she gets to escape.

Both of them would take that bad; Alopex escaped to a lonely place, far from humanity, living peaceful but training so one day she could kill her brother, cuz after that fight she convinced herself that her brother now is not more than a monster.

Meanwhile, Takeshi would silently cry for her sister, the last remainig of his past life. But after that he would fully embrace his new life, even forcing the people to only call him "Tiger Claw".

At least this is my version of the facts, it can or not be inside the canon of the series (probably not, but dream doesn't cost), and it would explain why in the series Tiger Claw reacted so impulsive and pertubed after realizing that his sister is alive (instead of the usual cold and calculating that we almost always see). And why Tiger Claw didn't make sure that Alopex was alive.

Anyway, this is just my version, I hope you enjoyed reading me, if you agree or disagree with me let em know, I'll be happy to know someone else's opinion. Excuse me for my grammar, I don't use to speak english, but I'm trying!

So... that's all, thank you for read! ❤

[alovelyburn]

Was Guts actually in love with Casca? I can’t recall him having any moment thinking of what he feels towards her in the golden age, just like he did so many times with Griffith. Do you think it could have been better if they never were a thing and just being friends by seeing how similar they are?

I watched the 1997 anime and read until the Lost Children arc, and hated everything surrounding Casca’s sa during the eclipse. Because she isn’t actually a character during a long time, her rape isn’t brought up in a way that isn’t because she was Guts’ “woman”. Guts doesn’t make any conciousness about how horrible it was for her, and even though he chose to stay with Gambino and Griffith when they were disabled, he didn’t wanted to when it was her and that’s sad

Oho!

Guts' feelings for Casca are an interesting topic to me - I feel like the mainstream english speaking fandom really heavily romanticizes the relationship whereas the GxG corner doesn't usually put much weight in it at all. As in most things I tend to fall in the middle somewhere.

Anyway I can only really give my opinion/perception of things, so here it is:

My read on Gutsca is and has always been.... that they were both fixated on Griffith but felt they couldn't really get as close to him as they wanted to and their pain and frustration over that led to them finally finding a way to relate to each other, which turned into friendship, which turned into attraction.

The thing is, though, even while that was going on they were still both primarily focused on their feelings for Griffith. In Casca's case this entailed just kind of aggressively ignoring it because she was deeply uncomfortable with the idea that she could have feelings for anyone but Griffith. In Guts' case, you may remember at the time he was actively trying to matchmaker Casca and Griffith into becoming a couple so I imagine he was trying to stay out of their way regardless of his feelings about either of them.

That said....

...I do think the feelings are definitely there. It's evident because when Judeau starts asking about them, Guts gets super awkward and sweat droppy...

And in the defensive way he reacts/the way he tries to deflect when asked why he doesn't try to get with her.

If you watch his reactions as Judeau is going over things, his demeanor on the subject of her changes completely as he starts tor realize that the future he was envisioning for her and Griffith - the one where they get together and live happily ever after - isn't ever going to happen.He kind of goes from being aggressively defensive to quietly reflective.

Plus the way he tries to dodge when asked if he's ever thought about being with her IMO indicates that he has, but probably only in a sort of half-formed way that he never thought that deeply into due to his assumptions about her and Griffith.

And of course in the end, even though he tried to deny it, he did ultimately admit it, and arrived at something more like "I'm not ready for that kind of thing" than "I don't want that kind of thing."

Casca's got her own issues which you didn't ask about so I'm not getting that far into it, rofl, but I will say I think this:

is the precise moment when she realized she can't do anything for Griffith. Because she tries to reach out to him and he doesn't even respond to her, like he doesn't even acknowledge that she’s there. And she pulls back like something burned her fingers before she starts wildly vacillating and then ultimately calls Guts' name.

And of course...

Whatever Guts was feeling about her, it was enough to make him hesitate when she called his name. It wasn’t enough to override his desire to chase Griffith’s friendship and respect, but it was enough to make him pause.

Now all that said, do I think Guts was actually full-chested in love with Casca?

No. I mean for one thing, Miura said they were forever stuck at the stage before falling in love, which implies they aren't actually actively in love - more that they perhaps could have been if the relationship had continued.

But even if you ignore the authorial intent aspect, their one "good" moment as a couple - the meadow scene - doesn't really showcase what I would call full-on in-loveness. Casca has to decide that her feelings are real and only decides to commit to it once Guts turns out to be needier than Griffith where she's concerned. and Guts' decision to ask her to go with him is kind of...

...random and spontaneous? What I mean is, he wasn't proposing to her - there was no “let’s start a new life together because I love you and we’re going to be together 5ever,” not even in his head. In fact, he said he wasn't sure if it would work out or if she'd end up getting in the way. But he was feeling it in the moment and he was willing to give it a shot. It reminds me a bit of Casca's line - I'll believe it, that my feelings for this man are real. It's an active decision on their parts to believe in that connection and its potential to grow and take root even though it's still just beginning at that moment.

And of course, if they were truly madly deeply in love then they wouldn't have started fracturing the second Griffith's shadow returned to their lives. In the end, I do think they were only able to develop the feelings they had for each other because they felt like Griffith was untouchable, and when he wasn't anymore, Casca started backpedaling and complaining to Guts about how jealous she was of Charlotte, and Guts was like, WELL I GUESS I'LL JUST LET HER GO BACK TO GRIFFITH IDEK WHO AM I TO JUDGE IM JUST AS BAD, and ultimately they both independently decided to stay with Griffith without bothering to ask how the other felt about it, or about giving up their plans. Guts wasn’t even upset about changing his mind, really.

...plus obviously when the Eclipse went down, Guts literally just ignored whatever was going on with her and the other Hawks so he could stand on the alter and try to chip Griffith out of the incubation egg. Even when he realized Griffith really did accept that deal...

He could barely make himself pull away.

After the Eclipse, every time he decides to go after her or protect her, it's catalyzed by remembering that he abandoned Griffith and feels like shit about it and/or pondering how his mistakes lost him everyone he loves, which frames it as being as much his regret and guilt as anything else (and Miura did say guilt is one of the primary things she makes him feel).  It also seems to be more about her representing the last of the Hawks than about his romantic feelings about her - to this day he barely thinks about the relationship itself. When he misses her he usually imagines her in her glory as the Band of the Hawks' unit commander. And in the more recent chapters, he infamously hasn't thought about her even once since [a thing] happened.

Err, so long ramble less long:

In the end, more than a romance in full bloom it is presented, I think, as the seed of a relationship that never had a chance to grow. I do think Guts loved her - as a friend, as a person, as a fellow Hawk - and I do think they had "feelings” for each other, but I do not think they were literally at the point of being in love. I also think it never would have come up if they didn't feel so separated from Griffith - it was his absence that created the space where their connection developed, and ultimately neither one's feelings for the other could really stand up in the face of their feelings for Griffith.

All that being the case, I would say the reason he doesn't go on about his feelings about her during the Golden Age (...or at any other point if we're being honest) the way he does about his feelings for Griffith kind of split down two paths.

First, his feelings for Griffith are just more intense and demanding - both the love and, eventually, the complicated stew of love and hate. Miura once said that Griffith is the one who gives Guts the sustenance he needs to live, and that's the way it's always been.

The other thing is, from a Doylist perspective, Miura himself did not appear to have much of a connection to the romance. He based Guts and Griffith's intense bond on his relationship with Koji Mori, his lifelong best friend. In a memorial manga by Mori's wife, she said that they were so close that it seemed that there was no room in their lives for anyone but each other. And he always said Berserk was about Guts and Griffith and their relationship at its core.

By contrast, Guts and Casca's relationship was a late-stage decision intended to up the stakes and increase the drama... and everything that's been done with her since has been consistent with that. Casca became something of a plot enabler - a McGuffin. She survived just as a means to motivate Guts, and lost her mind so that she wouldn’t take up too much room in the narrative, and while the friendship was pretty well-done, the romance itself has very little substance because it (and Casca herself once she becomes relegated to Love Interest) exists to catalyze whatever is going on between Guts and Griffith - to motivate them, to make them anxious and jealous, to make them angry at each other, to give them something to focus on besides each other, to use to hurt each other.

Also Miura did say that if he could, he wouldn’t have women in the series at all. So there you go.

As for whether it would have been better if they stayed friends... that's kind of a tough question because I have no idea what that would have looked like. I want to say I'm not sure how much it would have really changed - he's more motivated by his regrets over the Hawks than he is by the romance anyway, so I guess if she survived as his friend the story could have remained more or less the same. But... while that's theoretically true, I don’t think it would have remained the same. Because I think even though the romance isn't GUTS' primary motivation, it was probably MIURA'S primary reason for keeping her alive. And if she weren't alive then I have no idea what the past 20 volumes would even be about. So while I don't really have any interest in Gutsca, I'd be reluctant to say the romance shouldn't have happened, because there's not much about Berserk I'd change - some things, sure, but not enough for me to feel comfortable saying the past 20 volumes should be something else entirely. I do think Casca herself should have been better handled.

As for Guts leaving Casca, I mean that comes back to the Watsonian approach and the Doylist approach again.

From the Watsonian perspective it does strike me as internally consistent with the way Guts acts and how he would manage those specific situations. Gambino losing a leg or Griffith becoming mute and seriously disabled is kind of a different situation vs Casca losing her mind, because even if Gambino and Griffith weren't the same physically they were still the people he loved. Their bodies changed, but they themselves did not. Casca's entire personality - her memories, their connection - it's all just gone. I don't think he could handle that emotionally, nor did he have any idea what to do with it. When he finally did go back for her he ended up dragging her around on a rope; he was absolutely not equipped to manage her situation at all. I also think it makes sense because despite how he felt about Casca, he’s never prioritized her the way he did Griffith or Gambino. Those two are on a completely different level in his life vs. anyone else, even her.

From the Doylist perspective, though? I mean, Miura didn't even know she existed when he had Guts solo adventuring in the Black Swordsman arc, so I guess he had to retroactively explain why she never came up or appeared. There were a couple of ways he could have handled that - he could have had Guts drop into the cave like, yeah ITS BEEN A FEW WEEKS SINCE I SAW YOU GUYS, HOWS LIFE?

...but I think he decided to have Guts abandon her because it kind of fits into the larger theme of Guts treating the people he cares about the most sort of carelessly/letting them fall through his fingers and losing them as a result. The fact that she's the last thing he has - the only thing he hasn't lost yet - lends narrative weight to his decision to stand with her and advances his personal arc, while making his inability to truly commit to doing that - the way he vacillates and still thinks about ditching to go find Griffith - stand out, because even in the face of all those lessons and his own decisions he still can't quite let it go.