#BUT lucifer and the prime souls are. well.

[muzzleroars]

Any interactions between risen ferryman and everyone?

the ferryman is a strange presence in heaven - long accustomed to the styx and the sinners they carried across it, they have a quiet yet strict demeanor. the world they come from is, obviously, harsh and relentless by its very design, and they had to meet it in equal measure to deal with the husks that constantly poured onto their ship. it makes them a bit out of place with the other human souls who have forgotten things outside of paradise yet they also can't hope to breach the circles of the true angels, and they fear almost that hell has made them unfit purely over time.

however, michael, who brought them here in error, is the first to understand them in their personality and their unwavering faith in god. he invites them to worship with him, guiding them through the heavenly service as one of the high priests of god's altar, and i think they spend a lot of time together in study as well. michael has rarely experienced human faith which differs greatly from the angels, and in time too they begin to relate over the harshness of the duties they once carried out. the ferryman's always quite glad when v2 visits as well, not only appreciating it as a wealth of deep thought and helpful philosophies, but also simply grateful it's as out of place as they are. v2 shrugs it all off, saying if they're in with mike there's really nothing anyone can say about it - it helps them explore, enthusiastically moving through heaven's streets or its now vast outskirts in ways they may not have alone.

uriel is just as reserved as they are, but the ferryman marvels at all of his vast works, now completed, a library impossible to see the beginning or end of. yet they learn uriel very much enjoys stories - he knows the whole of history, but he listens with rapt, meditative attention to the ferryman recount their life on earth or their time in hell. he appreciates the personal touch, they find, and they end up sharing dozens of stories while uriel is a wonderful source of everything they had ever wished to know (he knows too all the little questions they had asked themselves, and the answers to them even if they're now long forgotten). importantly, the ferryman helps uriel use his hands once more in art and writing as they trade their stories.

raphael is the most unsure relating to them with the little contact he's had to those in hell - however, the ferryman is more gentle than their demeanor can sometimes suggest. they enjoy fishing together, with raphael taking a good interest in how the ferryman had once cared for the souls they carried across the styx - they had fiercely defended the sanctity of their ship while also still making it as comfortable as hell could allow. i think they also enjoy learning from raphael, who has very little to share his knowledge of herbs and cures with now since they're so defunct.

they feel a bit awkward for some time when they visit gabriel, though he insists he is nothing but happy for them now. he's glad to receive news about heaven's state from them when he knows his siblings can have a very different perspective from the human souls there, and gabriel is an invaluable source in turn for navigating heaven. v1 is actually quite the comfort as well, a risen "soul" itself that can relate to their confusion and occasional frustrations transitioning from sinner to saved. it gives them much more confidence, seeing it fully embrace its new state and not care about its mistakes, though they know its situation is quite different.

difficulties do arise with the prime souls and lucifer, however, who each have their reservations or outright rejection of the ferryman's current status. minos and sisyphus take issue in accepting their elevation, both ghosts now locked in what they died for and much more unable to see nuance. minos is conflicted, wanting the best for human souls but too damaged by the institution of heaven and how it is upheld by humanity as well. sisyphus views it as ceding to the law of heaven, how the only way to be allowed into their fold is through the deepest supplication over decades. lucifer entirely pushes them out, their visits accordingly short as it will always attract his open hostility - he will see no angelic presence in hell that has no business with him. gabriel has attempted to soften lucifer's treatment of the ferryman in particular, but he's made little progress.

[priestvox]

just curious about what your personal interpretation of the alastor charlie dad thing is. do you think he's being 100% sincere and it just comes up quickly cause of the small amount of episodes or are you in the it's a scam to make lucifer super angry camp?

tl;dr - I think he has ulterior motives and pissing off Lucifer is an added just a bonus.

I feel like Alastor has some growing fondness for the gang at the hotel, but he wouldn’t go out of his way for them - and I’m not sure he even would for people he considers his friends. 

The show seems to imply he’s put some distance between himself and everyone. 

Angel: He’s been here a while and is still a big, creepy mystery.

We rarely see him attending group activities, even though he’s usually around. He doesn’t seem to eat with the rest of the gang - we see him having a drink on the balcony of the hotel before Sir Pentious attacks - then later, eating alone in his room when Vaggie comes to ask him to take care of the egg boys. (It’s an interesting contrast to Angel, who’s almost always lounging around on the couch on his phone.)

Even the night before the Extermination when everyone is spending time together, he’s hanging back with Niffty and says these two lines: 

Alastor: It’s been a surprising thrill to witness these wayward souls find connection.

Alastor: An enjoyable collective to be around. I admit one could get accustomed.

To me, that implies he doesn’t consider himself part of the collective - but he does like them, to some degree. And we see he’s capable of genuinely liking and caring for people, like Mimsy, if we take the relationship at face value. 

But even Mimsy seems to think “friends” isn’t quite the right word for their relationship. She knows she can count on him to protect her and that he likes her company and admires her skill but the way she talks about Alastor seems to imply she sees him as somewhat self-involved: 

Mimsy: Friends? Well, that’s your word not mine but I think it fits.

Mimsy: You don’t actually give a shit about this tacky place, do ya? Come on. I know you. You heartless son of a bitch.

And when she thanks him for getting rid of the loan sharks, there’s a lot of feed his ego and implying he’s big and strong and powerful and she’s weak and needs him: “what a fantastic show”, “thanks for helping little ol’ me”, “but you love taking care of me”. And that kind of relationship probably feels safe for someone like Alastor, who needs to feel in control.

His relationship with Rosie also seems to have some level of being transactional. She immediately tells him about a deal he could make and says he’s never done her wrong, implying they’ve worked together before to her benefit. 

Rosie: Yo Alastor I got a primo connect on a guy with about eight blocks of territory and not enough goons to run it. Prime pickings for a deal to be made, my friend. 

Rosie: And old Alastor has never done me wrong before.

He seems to even trust her enough to be upfront about his motives about Charlie with her (but that could be misdirection), saying she’s: “filled with potential that [he] can guide” after directly singing about how she’s powerful like her father.

As for Charlie, I think it’s hard for most people to not eventually come around to her in spite of her flaws, and I don’t think Alastor would be an exception. 

But I think at the end of the day, Charlie is a means to an end and Alastor values that end more than he values his current relationship with her.

She’s the princess of hell, with all the power that comes with that. And when singing with Rosie, he mentions “like her daddy [Charlie] is very powerful” and “filled with potential that [he] can guide”.

And Vox himself worries about Alastor’s power if he strikes a deal with Charlie - which is why he sends Sir Pentious to the hotel to try and prevent it:

Vox: We have a problem. Alastor is getting close to little princess Morningstar. So our main concern now is ensuring that no deal is ever struck between Lucifer’s brat and that smiling freak. 

Therefore, because Alastor seems to hold everyone at arm’s length, have transactional friendships, and ulterior motives with Charlie, I don’t think he’s being 100% sincere in Best Dad In Hell.

But I also don’t think he was necessarily lying. He is stepping into the role of the dad she desires because it benefits him. All she seems to want from her dad is someone who believes in her and will support her. And he is caring for her in that way if not a traditional sense.

His wording is letting Charlie (and the audience) draw their own conclusions from his actions. 

And he never says how he feels about the idea of the hotel itself - he just says “Charlie has a unique vision” and that they’re “all very proud of her”. And we’ve seen he does seem to be proud of her and find her capable, whatever his motives - (to Rosie: “Surprised? Why I knew she could do it all along” “she’s filled with potential). 

I don’t think Alastor has had a reason to grow attached to Charlie beyond passive fondness (“enjoyable collective to be around”).

But I think Hell's Greatest Dad is a turning point in Alastor and Charlie’s relationship for Charlie because she starts to see Alastor as a contrast to her father and recognizes the extent of how much he’s done. I think it’s also one of the main catalysts in why she was willing to make a deal with him. He’s shady af but he’s the devil you know.

As for why he does what he does with Lucifer, Lucifer threatens the role he’s established for himself in Charlie’s life (mentor, wish granter). And I think that's why he makes an effort to insert himself between them at every opportunity (we’ll give the tour TOGETHER) - and part of the reason he’s so annoyed by Husk interrupting. Because so long as he's antagonizing Lucifer, he can't insert himself back into his daughter's life.

And it's obviously really hard to tell from Alastor's expression how he feels during More Than Anything but to me the look was similar to the one he was wearing while the Egg Boys were annoying him before his eye twitches around them (similar to what he does with Lucifer while she's hugging Charlie).

wow that was a novel sorry lmao

[kame-writes]

Some Hazbin Hotel Head Canons I have:

Alastor was both a moonshiner and bootlegger when he was alive. He would have been in his prime during Prohibition, and the hoof prints on his shoes were actually common among bootleggers. They were used to trick police that might try to track them by their footprints.

Those shoes are why he was mistaken by a hunter for a deer. The hunter was tracking the hoof prints.

Mimzys club was a speakeasy, and she was fully aware of Alastor being a serial killer. She used to provide alibis for him when he was alive, which is a reason he covers for and protects her now in their afterlife.

Angel and Husk probably crossed paths in life, but are completely unaware of it. Husk was born and raised in Las Vegas, and the mob was very heavily involved with running most of the casinos. Angel being a mafia son, would have definitely been in Vegas a fair amount before his death.

Sir Pentious used to be seen as a very powerful and dangerous Overlord. Then technology and electronics were introduced, making his steampunk innovation style outdated and people started to see him as a joke. He tried to keep up with the times, but it very bad at it and doesn't understand modern things.

The reason Vox has so many aquatic things and likes sharks, is thematic. The envy ring is aquatic and Vox is a very jealous and possessive person.

Valentino uses his saliva and smoke to make people more pliable and willing to agree with him, this also includes Vox. This is partly how they got together, because Valentino saw Vox as a way to further himself and grow his own power.

Nifftys Soul isn't actually owned by Alastor. She sticks with him because of mutual benefit for the both of them. He's also such a bad boy that she's drawn to being around him and helping him with his schemes.

Husk lost his soul because Alastor made him play an honest game, while Husk was a notorious card shark. The little gold token on Husk's hat is the dealers chip from their game as a reminder.

Husk was not a nice overlord. His redemption is going to rely on him admitting how bad he was in the past and accepting himself as a changed person.

Charlie is the only one who still doesn't realise Alastor is a cannibal. Which is why she was surprised he had a friend in Cannibal Town.

Lucifer knew full well who Alastor was, he was just being an ass. He correctly assumed that implying Alastor was a nobody or not important was the biggest insult he could throw at him.

Angel Dust is always broke. This is partly because before coming to the hotel he was renting an apartment from Valentino with ridiculous rent, and he's still working/paying off his debt.

Before meeting Valentino, Angel was more mafia with his brother. They had a very turbulent relationship, since they weren't very close when they were alive due to Arakniss being more Conservative and serious like their father. They have barely spoken since Angel became a famous porn star, and Angel just assumes that Niss now hates him for being 'an embaressment'.

Part of the reason Angel let Valentino take his soul and lead him to where he is now, is because Val was the only/first person to really encourage Angel's more feminine side and sexuality, and find it attractive. He fell hard for the love bombing, and then had a very rude awakening once Valentino no longer needed to play nice.

Fat nuggets is very special to Angel. He was never allowed pets, and despite him being one of Vals love bombing presents, it reminds him of how happy he was before he learnt the truth about why Val was so loving to him.

[spotlightlowlife]

The Cuphead show could teach Hazbin a helluva lot

First of all, I implore anyone who hasn't watched cuphead or didn't finish it to complete it. It is a complete story and it complements its origin, the game, only stepping away a little to expand on it.

Hazbin, watch the pilot if you haven't or rewatch it, a number of things fall off bytime the series comes about. New isn't bad but the pilot was so loaded and it's rather apparent that it is part of the cannon in how we start off as if we already know these characters. So what we can bring forward and what is no longer cannon? Has there been a time skip?

*spoilers ahead*

The story

A simple story of two humble individuals constantly having to swerve the devils attempts to take a soul he swindled fair and square.

They have many run ins and we meet numberours other comical yet sinister opponents along the way.

Sweet rich girl uses her powers for good. She aims to help the disadvantaged and targeted sinner group by opening a hotel to rehabilitate and redeem them to be heaven worthy.

Charlie has allies but plenty of others don't care for her plans and motives are generally unclear.

The main characters

Cuphead and Mugman, two brothers of ambiguous age who live modestly with an elder in a cottage in he woods. They simply get on with their lives, no goal.

Cup head is immature and foolish, his antics generally land them in danger, Mugman is the more sensible but still chill, not quite babysitter sidekick, someone who could be living trouble free if they weren't dragged into the others havoc, simple association brings unwanted situations and people their way, even when chilling at home.

We are also introduced to the devil himself, who is silly, fun and clearly a whole otherworldly entity in not only abilities but personality and actions. As amusing as his actions are, he does cruel things to people minding their business and enjoys it, he openly exploited his oblivious patrons at the amusement park, before going on to expand business and create the known casino. He has a workforce who we see working. The devil collects souls, a consequence of this is that it makes monsters out of mortals, this is a business, however this business is regulated and dispite how powerful the devil is, he still has to answer to accounts. He can be subdued with magic but ultimately, hell and earth are his playground and aside from the auditor, he answers to no peers or superiors and feels no bitterness or discomfort regarding his home and role, his struggle is simply that one that got away and keeps eluding him. His backstory being irrelevant fits with the quick pace and slapstick, however the latest addition to the game may hint at some mysterious backstory in his bonus boss fight.

Charlie, a youthful woman of ambiguous is the princess of hell and owner of the Hazbin hotel. We don't see much running of a hotel. Charlie is nice, default nice because plot tells us she's helping and cares and she clearly isn't horrible. Charlie wants to help sinners.

First portrayed as hardworking but ill prepared, out of touch hustler, Charlie is now well intentioned, immature dreamer but this doesn't result in trouble, her carelessness doesn't get portrayed as selfish or irritating. Charlie personally has little to lose in her discision making, such as welcoming Alastor, Charlie can have what she wants because everything is set up for her and what she doesn't have is easily in reach, the meeting in heaven attained by guilt tripping her dad being a prime example, but she's not a spoilt brat.

Charlie's other half is Vaggie, her girlfriend who we have to be explicitly told is so if you don't follow the fandom, they have known eachother for years yet Charlie hardly knows Vaggie. Vaggie's degree of interest in Charlie's dreams is unknown, even after her big revelation we still have nothing to show that she's not just the sensible sidekick managing the lead characters silliness.

Not a main but someone very significant, Lucifer, the devil himself and Charlie's dad. He is all powerful, the leader of hell and the one who created this realm, however he is a goofy awkward dad who doesn't appear to be any leader and he hates to the degree of allowing mass slaughter the very people Charlie loves. None of this is an issue. He clearly has or had peers or superiors, he still meets with the angels who serve as the adversaries, with no issue, but this doesn't matter.

The tragic characters

Ms Chalace had it thought throughout life yet tried had to work her way up, she died unexpectedly, nobody cared, she got a second chance to be amongst the living but it comes at a price. Chalice is a charming hustler and entertainer.

In Hazbin, it's everyone, everyone is given trauma, even privileged Charlie who could have been a great spoilt sweet character now didn't have the nice nuclear family upbringing, supportive mother who has a life and supportive yet sceptical dad whose not getting in her way.

Everyone has some history that rendered them a loser in this story however we have yet to learn how anyone got there even though fun, interesting, passing, dismissed Mimzy remembers her life on earth fondly.

The other characters

There is plenty of room to return to this series and feature more characters, but it's no big deal if they don't. This story proudly offers us Saturday villians, only we get to know these charasmatic characters and their villainous motives individually throughout Cuphead and Mugman's misadventures.

This series is fun and life hearted, made for all audiences, there's a lack of real drama yet it manages to not be shallow as we have focus and interactions matter, it is ultimately about Cuphead and the devil, the masses of colour characters we may meet along the way are a fun bonus to and the formula doesn't change, this person brings drama, that's that, now how do they get out of it.

Timing is arguably a major issue with Hazbin, with a big ensemble cast, drama and various plots, it will need a lot of time to cover all that it started, these things being numerous additions to the original story, most of these additions being a whole host of new characters who ultimately don't achieve anything not for lack of trying.

Like its spinoff, this series is big on aquitting those who are there to be liked of their responsibilities and actions, handing blame to someone don't know or have been guided to not like. This strips them of content and growth while makeing their power and influence questionable.

Planning ahead

Rumor has it that The Cuphead show was a complete work of 36 episoses that and broke up into 3 seasons by the big famous platform it's on, to be honest it shows, it is very linear.

Really though, this serves the broadcaster because would keep it in the algorithm longer giving it more time to gain more traction which means more money for the broadcaster and make it look like they're good at renewing projects when this may not entirely be the case.

Releasing the story broken up may have done this show a big disservice as many disappointed reviews were based on how much it deviated from the games and seeming censored, these may not have been concluded had all episodes been released, showing it being to return to its roots by the end.

Still, atleast the story was always going to be told.

As controversial as that situation is, Hazbin too could do with mapping out the beginning, middle and end with a clear and concise story, one with heart that answers questions, balances it's drama, action and comedy and shines some spotlight onto the stories that really need telling. They could do with this already being done or at the very least wrapping up seasons with what we were sold on being relevant.

Planning is well and good but ideas need to be prioritized and coherent. If multiple seasons are planned, this show will need to crack down in order to guarantee them.

[circeyoru]

Circe Circe look at this Alastor theory

https://www.tumblr.com/delightfulsweettragedy/751199425866694657/guys-hear-me-the-fuck-out?source=share

This might be the first time someone tells me to do theory reads. So before we get into it, definitely mention the writer and contributor of this theory @delightfulsweettragedy (sorry, if this is sudden). I mean no ill will or disrespect, I'm merely commenting my thoughts and understanding to the Hazbin world. You guys are free to agree or disagree or just okay this.

This theory basically names who could possibly own Alastor's soul. Please read that before this. Thanks! It's good to support the original poster.

Okie~ Let's go~!

Naturally, forgetting the fanfics and unintentional inserting of theories into the various stories all around fandom, Alastor's soul is owned by someone, and the owner could be someone already introduced, subtly appeared, or not at all.

I'm aware of the various theories that name Lilith or Eve or the Root of Evil (an unconfirmed character) or Zestial or even Niffty as the possible owner of Alastor's soul. But I don't go with any cause Season 1 of Hazbin Hotel is just too short and rushed for any concrete information and backstory to be revealed in detail. They are interesting and sometimes convincing theories, but at the end of the day, it's all theories and not canon.

With this one, it's a bit far-fetch and with some loopholes. I'm still on the side of reading and knowing, but not believing.

(1) Eyes.

I'm assuming the eye theory is the one about how red means owning souls? So like making deals? Similar to Overlords and Sinners basically. But here's the thing. This is Hell and red is quite a common colour. I think it matches the association with intimidation too?? Well, let's look at the Overlords who are the prime example for owning souls.

We don't have much background lore on them and I'm seriously wondering about Rosie cause some say she never died and stuff. Off track. Okay, so not all of them have red eyes. I'll list who does; Alastor, Vox, Valentino, Velvette, and Carmilla. Who doesn't? Rosie, Zestial, Zeezi, and the flaming skull with two hook-like antlers. BUT, they are all Overlords and own souls.

So? Red eyes doesn't exactly mean the ability to own souls.

(2) Who can own souls? And how?

Hellborns are supposedly soulless, so when they die, they just die. Unlike Sinners who would respawn with time. Unless it's angelic steel then game over, again. But hey, check back to Episode 7, who did Charlie say when Alastor was making a deal with her?

[Charlie: "You want my soul?"]

Surely, Charlie's a hellborn, but she has a soul? Maybe Charlie was in Lilith and growing before turning into a demon and being thrown into Hell. Maybe it has to do with the fact that Lucifer was a fallen angel. Maybe Lucifer and Lilith were the exceptions. We don't know. All we do is that Charlie has a soul.

Overlords deal with souls, we know that it's be contracts signed between individuals. But that might not be the only way. What if, an Overlord can forcefully take a soul?

I took this from Hazbin's wiki on Overlords. [In "Hello Rosie!", it was implied that an Overlord could own a soul by taking them without a deal or contract if they choose to do so. This was implied based on Vaggie's reaction...] Continue to read on the site.

This is a pageturner because if Overlords, as a higher rank of Sinners, can take souls, who's to say even more powerful ones can't? Sinners are restricted to the Pride Ring, not hellborns. So what if a powerful hellborn travels to Pride and attempts to take a weaker soul? Overlords, like Alastor, would think of them as no one but a foolish challenge cause they are more powerful than Sinners. Idk, cause Overlords might or might not have info on hellborns.

So this theory might be right, even when he doesn't have a soul, he could take and own one.

(3) Alastor's actions

It's confusing to say the least about Alastor's motivation and reason for his helpfulness. In the pilot, he says he's here cause of the entertainment and we do see him taking interest when Charlie was on the air with her hotel pitch. Later on in Season 1, we see Alastor's composure being threatened by the mere mention that was on a leash and it turns out to be a right at the end of the season.

Whether or not Alastor's there cause of the/a plan or his own amusement or trying to get a safe haven or something else, we don't know or we're not sure enough to say so. At least, it is for me when you think about it deeply.

All in all, theories are fun to think and debate on. But still, it's not canon until proven. You know, like Vaggie being a fallen angel? And who knows, maybe this theory is pointing us in a direction.

[samlovesradiohead]

false idols - ch. 1

lucifer x f!reader

cw: profanity, drug + alchol mention/usage

word count: 2.7k

a/n: this is my 1st fic lol pls be easy on me. also 1st time posting. this is very self-indulgent. i was thinking of 1989 tv when writing this (slut! is the best song)! my college classes r over so more free time for me

The fog begins to clear your mind as you wake up to a deep crimson sky and the smell of burning… meat? Whatever it was, it burned your nostrils with its sickeningly strong stench. A subtle throbbing sensation is felt at your temples, bringing you back to reality. You take in your surroundings properly as you pull yourself up to a sitting position: it seems that you’ve woken up in the middle of an alleyway. You observe the … creatures as they pass the alley. All different shapes, sizes, heights, even colors as you watch a wide, blue, doughy guy pass by. You assume they’re demons, as you understood by now that you are, in fact, dead and you are, in fact, in hell. Plus, looking at the poster advertisements on the wall in front of you for shows and concerts, described as ‘The Best Performance in All of Hell!’ gave you evidence to back up your conclusion. Not to mention all of the… gorier looking posters, mostly ads for strange jobs. Based off the gory ads, you assume that hell is just earth but more fucked up

Among these posters, you noticed an ad: “Are you a wayward and sickeningly depraved sinner looking to redeem your god-forsaken soul from an eternity of punishment??? Well come on down to the Hazbin Hotel, run by Princess Charlotte Morningstar and hosted by the Radio Demon, Alastor! (Me)”. Apparently, it's a rehabilitation hotel for sinners who are interested in wanting to be redeemed and go to heaven. It lists all the benefits there are to staying at the hotel, with free housing and food immediately catching your attention. Out of all of the posters in this alleyway, the hotel ad gave you some semblance of safety. . You grab the hotel’s poster off the wall, searching for an address, but all you find is the fine print stating that the hotel is a ‘the big red building with a comically large eye at the top on the hill overlooking Pentagram City. You can’t miss it!’. 

And so you were off, on the lookout for this hotel as you made your way out the alleyway and onto the streets. You look down at yourself, making sure you look somewhat decent for this ‘princess’ that runs the hotel. You brush off any dirt that may have lingered on you from laying on the ground for god knows how long. As you trudge out of the city, you spot the big building, a flicker of hope igniting within you. 

The walk there gives you time to reflect on your life on earth and what to expect from here on out. You were no saint by any means. Sure, you went to church when you were younger, but you never practiced what the church preached (but to be fair, no one else did either). 

In your life, you were a popstar. Globally renowned, loved and hated by many, you had it all, somewhat. Scandals seemed to follow you everywhere, some even over the most medial things. Of course you’re going to party and date around, you were in your prime! You had money and fame, but everyone knows that happiness and fame do not go together. A part of you is ashamed for living such a selfish life, but you know you cannot deny how good the run was. You cut off your former friends and family, telling them that they were holding you back from accomplishing your goals. Of course, they just wanted what’s best for you, but you and your pride couldn’t handle their warnings, talking down to you as if you were a toddler. If you had heeded their warnings, maybe you would’ve lived a longer life, with at least someone waiting on the other side. Alas, you had your chance on earth, now you're dealing with the consequences in hell. 

You feel a bitter resentment bubble up inside you, tears stinging from the wave of strong emotions as your reflection continues. Resentment only reserved for yourself. You remember the day you tried apologizing to your parents, with your mother yelling bitterly ‘you made your bed, lie in it’ before hanging up on you, eliciting a shiver that ran throughout your body. That was only hours before you ended up in hell. 

The events from when you died are fresh on your mind. 

You were at a friend’s house party, the aura of ‘prestige’ that these celebrities always exuded were nowhere to be seen as they let loose as if they were at a frat party. The strong odor of marijuana and tobacco permeated within the house, inside and out. A-listers doing lines on countertops as mid-C tier actors and actresses try to engage in conversations with them, trying to secure an alliance and potential opportunity to sky-rocketing their name. 

Honestly, you were always shocked no one died from the constant compounding of different substances, it was commonplace at parties like this. Well, that changed, with you being made the example.

You promised your friends you were just going to stick to weed tonight. You’ve been struggling with a substance problem for the past few years, but who isn’t among your peers? Only a couple months ago did you begin to change your ways, as you noticed the toll it was taking on your relationships. However, you were tempted. Maybe it was bitterness from the ‘talk’ with your mom earlier, whatever it was, your judgment was clouded.

It’s a pretty sad way to die, you think, as the hotel gets closer. 

You remember feeling sickly after drinking a shot some guy poured up for you. You just assumed you were cross-faded, but as you trudged your way to the bathroom across the hall, you knew something was wrong. Before you left, you excused yourself from the guy. You asked one of your friends to watch your back as you head to the bathroom, making sure he didn’t follow. 

As soon as you closed the bathroom door, your body crumpled under its own weight. You felt your breathing begin to become ragged and your skin becoming ever so clammy. Fear sends chills in your nerves that were setting ablaze, the contrasting forces becoming unbearable. 

You knew you’re dying. It’s like you could feel the life gradually oozing out of you as the mixture of chemicals attacks your system. All you could do is suffer as you lay on the ground, holding yourself like you have been your whole life. Maybe you deserved a death like this. Celebrities like you are as filthy as scum beneath your fingernails: You stood no chance at seeing the pearly gates. You knew this as your lifeforce was on its last leg. Quiet resentment lingers. Resentment towards yourself and resentment towards the world you are leaving behind.  

— — — —

Charlie is the most saintly person you’ve ever met, in both your afterlife and past life. 

You assumed you looked like a kicked puppy wanting a home as you knocked on the big mahogany doors to the hotel. You were immediately greeted by a tall, slender blonde woman in a red suit. Almost instantaneously, stars began to glitter in her eyes as you explained how you just woke up in hell, and how you found out about the hotel. After the explanation, Charlie properly introduced herself and pulled you inside.

As she gave you a tour of the hotel, she began to tell you more about herself and hell. You couldn’t help but listen in awe at her dream of rehabilitating sinners in order to save them from the exterminations. You had to admire her love for protecting her people. Charlie only gave glimpses into what her familial life was, awkwardness ridden over her face as she tried to explain how, yes, her and her withdrawn dad still talk… technically, but they were not very close. You gave her an assuring smile as you said you had family problems too and that you totally understood. Her shoulders visibly relaxed. 

That was earlier. After the mini-tour, she led you to your room, allowing you to relax and settle down before dinner. You explore your room after she closes the door. It wasn’t as nice as your penthouse when you were alive (you got mad at yourself for internally complaining, thinking you sound like a brat), but alas, it is what you deserve after already living a life of luxury. Fingertips tracing over the ornate and homey decor of the room, you feel a weird sense of security. 

You remember Charlie mentioning a bar. You’d think literally dying from poisoning would deter you from ever drinking an alcoholic beverage again, but damn you need a drink to calm your ever-persistent nerves. 

Exiting your room and heading towards the stairs, you almost run face-first into the chest of the radio demon. Abruptly halting your movements, you apologize for not watching where you were going (even though he literally manifested himself before you, actively in your way). 

“No need for apologies, dear! You are a valued guest in our fine establishment. Charlie told me all about you, pleasure to meet you, darling, quite the pleasure!” Alastor’s cheery, staticky voice booms as he gives your hand a generous shake, quite literally shaking your entire body too. 

After readjusting yourself, you give it back to him. “Yeah, nice to meet you too”.

His smile never wavers in your entire interaction. “And where might you be heading, hm?” He leans down, getting close to your face, seemingly analyzing you. 

You answer honestly, “I was going down to the bar. This is my first day in hell and I’m still kinda antsy.”

He considers your reply, before offering to take you down there himself. “Allow me to lead the way, young lady!” You couldn’t bring yourself to deny him, out of fear or just wanting to be polite, you’re not sure. He offers out his arm to interlink, and you comply. You feel sorta awkward as he initiates small talk with you, asking about how you’re liking hell and the hotel so far. 

“I’ve only really met you and Charlie, and you two have been very kind to me. I kinda just… woke up in an alleyway, saw an ad for the hotel, and came straight here. I didn’t really interact with the town or people,” you sheepishly answer. 

“That’s great to hear! Some of these sinners will do anything for just a taste of a power trip. Good thing you found us first before anyone else could’ve used you for who knows what!” He replies cheerfully, but it is a stark contrast to how you were feeling after his answer. You knew it was hell, and that bad people are going to do bad things down here, but now the reality is starting to dawn on you. In your life, you were escorted everywhere by security– who knew what sick fuck would try to attack you. Now that you’re in hell, you begin to understand that you need some extra protection. Maybe Charlie has an AK-47 or submachine gun or something hanging around here. 

After pondering his response for a moment, you ask, “Do you go outside, like, unarmed? It’s dangerous out there, aren’t you scared of being killed a second time?”

He gives you a hearty laugh. “Oh darling, you needn’t worry about me. I am quite alright on my own. You see, dear, I’m an Overlord. Overlords are some of the most powerful sinners in hell due to their ownership of souls. Of course, not as powerful as our royals, Charlotte and her buffoon of a father, but still, more powerful than those chums on the streets.`` 

Overlords? Royals? Power scales in hell were not what you expected. You figured the Devil would be around here somewhere, but the fact that anyone could rack up enough souls and become powerful was not enticing. Now, you’re really not sure you want to go outside unarmed or by yourself. 

Alastor seems to notice your reaction to this new information. As you two near the bar, with a winged cat and a feminine spider engaging in conversation, Alastor adds, “No need for the down expression. I’m sure the Princess would not allow you to venture out into hell on your own. For your first few weeks, we’ll accompany you on any trip you need to make.” You accept this arrangement, seeing as it’s better than being attacked by randoms on the street. 

Finally reaching the bar, you unlink yourself from Alastor and take a seat on one of the barstools, Alastor seating himself as well. The winged cat seems displeased at the new arrivals, but the white and pink spider seems delighted to have new company. “Who might this be, Alastor? Ya girlfriend? Wife? Lover? I didn’t think you had it in ya, Smiles!”

Alastor’s signature smile takes on a more sinister aura. “Oh, my effeminate fellow, you are quite the comedian,” he states sarcastically before putting his hands on your shoulders. “This is our new addition to the hotel! Darling, this is Angel Dust, another guest at this fine establishment. And here,” he gestures towards the cat, “is our bartender, Husker!” Angel Dust gives you a wink, meanwhile Husk gives you a nod. 

You introduce yourself to the pair. Angel dusts immediately asks, “So, toots, what got you down here in the slammer?” Husk seems to take offense on your behalf. 

“Now why would you ask her that? She just got here.”

“I’m just curious! If she don’t wanna answer, she don’t have to.”

Before Husk could refute Angel, you chime in, worrying that this will lead to a heated discussion. “No, no! It’s fine, I’m comfortable with sharing. It’s just really stupid. I, uhh, kinda got … poisoned?” You feel all three pairs of eyes staring at you.

“Poisoned?” Angels begins, “I thought poisonings were kinda rare in the modern age.”

“Not in Hollywood, apparently…”

“Hollywood?!” Angel sits right up at that. “You were famous?!!! Why didn’t you start with that?! What were you? Actress? Singer? Pornstar like me?” 

His line of questioning startles you at first. Husk looks to be shocked at the revelation too. You weren’t sure about Alastor. His face is just… smiley as always. 

You answer Angel’s questions. “Yeah, I was a popstar, no biggie. I decided to smoke weed then take a couple shots. Guess one of them was poisoned, now I'm here. Can you pour me some rum and coke, if they have that down here?” 

Husk does begin your drink, but he asks, “Why are you drinking even though it killed you? Not that I’m one to judge, but I’m curious.” 

You answer honestly. “Well, I woke up in hell, out in the streets with nothing. I’m still kinda processing my situation. I need something to calm my nerves.” 

He nods at your response. “Understandable.” His original tenseness was starting to loosen, but it was immediately back when Alastor reminded everyone with his presence with a remark for you. 

Husk slides your drink over to you. You sip on it while Alastor says, “A starlet under our roof, how wonderful! I’m not too keen on modern music, but I am sure you were fantastic!”

You shrug, “I guess I was. I had fans all over the globe, a good career going, an amazing paycheck. It was nice.”

“Now it’s all gone,” Alastor replies. Husk shoots him a look. Meanwhile, Angel continues to ask you questions about the modernity of earth before you came to hell, and your career as a popstar. Alastor and Husk toss up questions of their own as you and Angel conversed. It was refreshing to talk to people who were interested in your life (albeit, previous) and not just what your status and money could do for them. 

Eventually, it was time for dinner, so you all retracted yourselves from the bar to the dining area. Before eating. Charlie briefly introduces you to her girlfriend Vaggie and the maid Niffty. You, once again, introduce yourself. Everyone began to eat and converse amongst themselves. Husk and Angel bickering, Charlie and Vaggie discussing plans for tomorrow (apparently, Charlie’s dad was coming over), and Alastor indulging in Niffty’s weird interests. 

You stay quiet as you enjoy the food, internally thanking whatever deity allowed you to find security so quickly. Hell ain’t so bad, so far.

[copiousloverofcopia]

omg i would kill for a Copia POV with him being desperate to get his prime mover pregnant.

Having him be all excited and ready to be a daddy 🥵

Well, let's just see what I may have here....

....oh here you go, some Copia POV ready to be a daddy!!!

Now We Wait

Also available HERE on AO3!

Definitely NSFW below the cut

In my many years on this Earth, there was only one thing I ever truly longed for—a family. I have lived a life most would consider privileged. Enjoying the spoils of the Ministry, with the best education the world had to offer, apprenticing under the most skilled of conjurers, scholars, and musicians, and finally the coveted position of Cardinal. A position I had I obtained through great personal perseverance.

All of it however, amounted to nothing—not really anyway. It is no secret that I was a lonely child, never knowing where I came from. Only that my parents were at one point devoted to the Ministry. Their lives, sacrificed in service to Lucifer. The thoughts of their conviction gave me strength, guiding me to push on—even though I might never know their names. 

Eventually it was not enough, my soul longing for more than what the Ministry could offer me. My days in the Abbey, spent mostly in solitude when I wasn’t balancing books and jumping to heed the old guy's every whim. I was left with a sense of emptiness, gnawing at my insides like the rats at their cage.

Then there was you, my bright and sweet sorella. Your smile, like a beacon of hope from the moment I first saw it. Calling out to me in my darkness and guiding me into your light. I knew it then, as you passed me by, the scent of your perfume lingering in the air. You were my vero amore.  

I wanted nothing more than to love you–to give you everything. I still struggle to comprehend how a creature, of such grace and beauty, could ever want anything from a tired old man such as myself. A man so lonely that he spent more time in the company of his rats than with the rest of the world. But you did.

Choosing to share with me the world seen through your eyes—and your love. Two things I will forever treasure. When I unexpectedly ascended to the miter, you were there by my side. Making me feel higher than even my title could bolster. We were the things that fairytales were made of. A story that felt too good to be true, but despite it all there was still something missing. 

Now as I sit in my office, a well-planned, quiet moment in between the next cycle of the tour, I can't get my mind off it. I have done the research. A shocking amount, if I am to be honest. Paying close attention to the signs that you’d be ready for me. And amore today is the day. 

“Cope, Aether said you wanted to see me?” you asked as you entered my office. Your veil flowing behind you as you walked through the doorway. Already that sweet smile on your face. My heart immediately began pounding, heavy in my chest and my palms sweating just at the sight of you. My hands, trembling in my lap as you got closer. 

“Si, come in, come amore.” I beamed, motioning for you to take a seat on the old black leather chaise. Praying that you didn't notice the shaking. I rose from my desk to greet you, and it was clear from the look on your face you could tell I was nervous. 

“Everything alright?” you asked, crossing your legs and patting the spot beside you. 

“Of course, I am sorry, I am just a bit…ah…nervous.” I admitted, trying my best to pull it together. Hoping that once the words left my lips you wouldn’t laugh, run, or both. Praying to Lucifer that you had wanted it too. 

“Cope, I can’t imagine there's anything for you to be nervous about. Come here, you can tell me anything. What's going on?” you asked again. I knew I couldn’t stall for long, but as badly as I wanted this, I struggled to find the words to say. I sat down beside you on the chaise, my thigh pressing against yours. Getting as close to you as possible beside you before I confessed my innermost desires. 

“Well, you can’t be nervous about this.” you chuckled, your eyes falling on my lap. The bulge in my pants growing from being close to you. An obvious sign that I needed you, but today the urge was so much more.

“No, of course not.” I laughed, knowing full well you had spent too many moons beneath the sheets in my chambers to count. Not to mention a wealth of other locations within the Abbey. Both of us, covered in sweat and the glow of glorious sin. Your body, my altar of worship, and mine yours. There was nothing about each other that we didn't know. Nothing we hadn't done before, but it was still hard to tell you why I had asked you to meet with me.  

“My love just spit it out, I can tell you got something on your mind. Come on now, I can take it.” you laughed again. Pulling a smile from me, even though my nerves were fried. I placed my hand on your thigh, feeling that you too were shaky beneath it. Were you nervous too? Was there somewhere inside you that knew what I was thinking? I couldn't be sure. 

“I—I have been giving this a lot of thought lately cara.” I began, stumbling through the words like it was the first time I'd ever spoken, stopping as I felt you place your hand over mine. The way you stared back at me, your eyes filled with such happiness. So beautiful that I might lose myself in them before I'd finish my thought.

“Go on.” you urged, chewing on your bottom lip. Something that drove me absolutely mad with lust—wanting to taste those lips for myself.

“I am Papa now and well…" I began, watching your eyebrows raise up. Waiting for me to continue. "I want—I want us to have a baby.” There it was. I had finally said how I felt aloud. No denying it or pretending now. My words, hanging in the air between us for what felt like forever as I waited your reply. 

“A baby?” you asked, your smile falling and replaced with a more serious visage. I felt like I would crumble. Worried I had miss stepped, as I often do, and made you upset. Made you feel like I was pressuring you, but despite that I continued on, leaning over to kiss the crown of your head. Breathing you in a moment to ground myself before I answered. 

“Si amore…I want us to have a child. To be family. It is a thought that consumes my mind. It's been something that I've been thinking about since I met you, but I can no longer deny it. Is–is that something you want too?” I asked you, the words leaving me so fast I wondered if they had really been said. Then to my surprise you kissed me. Those sweet, soft lips pressed into mine. Like silk gliding against me. I closed my eyes, focusing on the feeling of you. My cock straining tightly against my pants–I wanted you so badly.

“Is this really what you want?" You asked, pulling back a moment to catch your breath, "This isn't something she's pushing for?” I knew who you meant. It was no secret Sister Imperator was concerned about the lineage of the dark papacy but she had nothing to do with this. 

"What she does or does not want cara…is of no concern to me." I told you, the smile returning to your face. Your eyes heavy as they traveled over my chest and back to my lap. Your mouth parted for breath, waiting for me. “I want this more than anything.” I hummed, pulling your lips back to mine. Sliding my tongue along yours. Slippery and wet as they danced together. 

You climbed over into my lap, and I could feel the heat of your core, hovering just above me. I drew in a sharp breath as you pressed yourself against the swell of my cock. 

“Oh Cope.” you mewled as you rubbed against me, my hands instinctively pulling away your veil. Your fingers, working to unbutton my shirt as I tried in vain to undo your bra. The damn thing giving me the greatest trouble it ever had, as if just to spite me.

"Fuck." I kissed under my breath. 

 “Here.” you laughed, undoing it for me and guiding my hands to your breasts. So soft and full. I could only imagine how they would change once you were pregnant. How your whole body would bloom with me inside you.

“I need you now.” I moaned, as you continued to grind against me. The heat of your cunt teasing me with each roll of your hips. My own rising from the cushion to meet you. Begging for you to let me inside. 

“Then take me.” you smirked. A command I was all too willing to obey. Working around you so that I might unzip my pants. Freeing my cock. The tip, red and already wet with need as I kissed you deeper. My thumb teasing at your nipple and my other hand slowly stroking my shaft. 

You didn't even bother to slip out of your panties. My favorite black lace ones you sometimes left for me to find in the bottom of my drawer. My cock twitched as I saw them, knowing that you’d be leaking into them for the rest of the day. Your cunt dripping with my seed. 

I watched as you touched the bud of your clit, drooling a bit as your eyes stayed intently on my cock, sliding up through my hand. 

“Get on amore, I need to be inside you.” I commanded, staring deeply into your eyes. Both of our mouths falling open as you allowed me inside you. My length, slowly pushing through your folds and gliding against your walls. Your body, so aroused and all because of me. 

I was in awe of the way you felt. So perfect for me, tight and wet. Molded as if you were made just for me. A perfect fit that had me biting into my lip to keep from release. A fact you noticed. Smirking at me as you watched me come undone. 

"I thought the whole point was for you to cum." You muttered, breathy and a hint of teasing in your tone.

"Not until I make you cum first." I vowed, holding your hips as you rode me. Lifting up to meet with your stride. Over and over, feeling your cunt squeezing all around me. The flood of tingling and warmth inside—Hell sent. 

"Oh, fuck Papa…make me cum." You moaned into my ear, grinding yourself down harder. I can't say what happened, all I know is that the next thing I knew I had you on your back. Legs pressed up towards your chest, one of my own on the floor for leverage, as I pounded away inside you. Pushing myself as far back into your cunt as I could—ready to cum against your open womb. 

I thrusted hard and deep. Your body, tugging against me with each pump of my hips. Your cunt, refusing to let go as I took you. I panted hard and the sweat beading up on my forehead and beginning to disturb my paints. 

My thoughts only on how incredible You looked as you writhed beneath me and how even more beautiful you'll look as you carry my child. 

"Farai di una madre così bella il mio amore. Dì che porterai in grembo mio figlio." I stuttered against your calf. Kissing and licking you there. The sweet salty taste of your skin, covered in sweat from our efforts. You buckled down, your insides bearing down all around me as you came. Moaning and shaking as the fluid gushing from between us and spilling onto the cushion below. 

"Yes Copia! Yes please! I want it too! I love you! You cried out. Your cunt clenching hard against me, already so close to cumming again. I wanted to keep going, to revel in this moment between us—but you felt too good. So warm and so soft around me. The minute I felt your walls squeeze again I lost it. Spilling my seed deep inside you.

"Ah! Ah! Amore, I love you too. You and I are one. Make me a father!" I called out, still thrusting into you. Hoping to pack all I could against your womb. Praying to Lucifer that not a drop of it goes to waste, so you'd conceive for me. 

The haze of our lust and love dissipated slowly into the afternoon. You, sleeping soundly on my chest, exhausted from our endeavor still laying on the chaise. The door unlocked and not a care in the world as to who might see us.  I kissed your forehead, rejoicing in the beginning of our future. 

"Cope," you began, still very much in and out of your slumber, "do you think it took?" You asked me, nuzzling your face against my chest. I smiled, trying to shush you back to sleep. You would need your rest for what was to come, then I whispered gently to answer you. 

"Si…but for now we wait." 

Notes:

vero amore- true love

Farai di una madre così bella il mio amore. Dì che porterai in grembo mio figlio. -You'll make such a beautiful mother my love. Say you'll carry my child.

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

The Alastors learn more about Radio Guard's world. Featuring Alastor being a cannibal.

Swap!Alastor: So wait, you're telling me sometimes noble houses make deals with the humans?

Radio Guard!Alastor: It is rare, as usually human in the living world do not have much to give but it can happen. The price of it, of course, varies, but nearly all the time the human signs their soul away for unlimited power, wealth and more at the cost of having to serve the noble house in anyway the noble house seems fit.

Radio Guard!Al: Believe my Husk described it best as it being similar to that silly tabletop board game's uh warlock class I believe and their patrons?

Canon!Al: Ah, so let me guess, these humans, once they become sinners they have more access to stuff, annoying but-

Radio Guard!Al: No actually. They are bound to the pride ring still, like all sinners. They just get a more cushy life style than the typical sinner. Think of them as the noble houses of the pride ring's fancy teacup pigs and sheep. Prize livestock to show off to the masses to show off what souls the houses collected.

Dadstaticradio!Al: I assume you have dealt with them alot than, since you are your Charlie's personal guard.

Swap!Al, whispering: are we ignoring the fact he just called them livestock????

Radio Guard!Al: On a regular sadly. Many believe they are, excuse my language, hot shit. So they step out of line quickly, push their boundaries a bit too far and so on.

Radio Guard!Al: Thankfully due to how fatty they are thanks to their lifestyle as glorified show animals, they make lovely stews and roasts. But sometimes eating it straight off the bone works too. The meat just melts in your mouth~ So it is always a delight to kill them when they get a bit daring and try and threaten the Morningstar family //chuckles

Canon!Al: Swap!Al: Domesticed!Al: Dadstaticradio!Al: Secretly Married!Al:

Radio Guard!Al: What? We're all cannibals! And its prime meat being wasted. Besides no one is gonna notice and Lucifer, well, my Lucifer, only cares if I clean up after myself. It's fine

Secretly Married!Al: I dont know if I should be impressed or shock..

Dadstaticradio!Al: Both...both is good

-⚔️ anon

I love every time you give more insight into the radioguard universe its always so fascinating to read about

[gctchell]

" Hoss, I want you to pray to your god. I want you to pray that he comes and saves you. I want lightning to come down and crash upon my fuckin' head! "

-> So you're a little devil, huh? Come to drag me and my kin to Hell? Well, not today, Satan!

Martha headcanon dump / Interest check. Drop a 🩸 in the replies if you have interest interacting with her, and if you're a multimuse yourself, let me know who you want me to toss her at.

Born in dark baptism of blood and raised in cannibalism & devil worship, Martha is deeply entrenched in damnation and has never desired any other sort of way of being. This is how she is, pure, brutal, raw, sadistic, and hungry for pain and torment. She is an evil soul looking to make the best of her life and live in hedonism, pure and simple.

Her particular worship involves Mammon, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Lucifer, Satan, and a little bit of Lilith. These are the ones who have called to her as her prime sins are Greed, Lust, Gluttony, Pride, and Wrath. However, even if she does worship and offer tribute to them, there's not always someone on the other line - she does get left on read quite often by some of them.. namely Lucifer, who wants little to nothing to do with Sinners in the first place. Still, she calls, and gets aggravated when he doesn't answer. Later I would like to do a post for what she does in regards for her worship of these Infernals, but for now this is what I got. uvu

Martha is not exclusive in her selection of course, she is very open to work with many demons who catch her ear and tempt her with their call. Any who are willing to work with her, any who she might have caught the eye of have a very good chance of working with her. She is willing to do a great many hideous things, she has no restraint except for her family. Speaking of..

Martha is a serial black widower - or, well, she was. There's a long trail of dead vows hanging from her wedding band, tons of hearts of thirsty & lecherous wealthy men left 'pon on her altar to the delicious King Asmodeus ( 'the one true man who knows how to really please a woman.' ). The husband-killing stopped when Ralphie just would not fuckin' die! She tried everything; poisoning, concussions, hitting him with her car, drowning him after hitting him with a motorboat, and straight up electrocuting his ass in the bathtub.

She finally stopped trying when he caught her shotgun shells in his teeth. Man's hardy and is sickly, deeply, twistedly, and hopelessly in love with Martha, and she finally came to respect and admire that, even more so when she began introducing him to the darker aspects of her life such as cannibalism, human taxidermy, and ritualistic killings. She gained a partner-in-crime, true and honest. What she has for him isn't really true love as much as it is a very deep affection and attraction, and he doesn't mind, so long as they can keep on keeping on. They both popped out a couple of children, and the rest is history.

Excellent cook, excellent baker, excellent little house wife who serves up the image of a godly woman quite well. She saves face by going to church on Sundays just to spend her Sunday nights doing very special dark rituals. Duality of woman!

Very vivid in her sexuality. She has a taste for both men and women (bisexual).

While in Hell, she is veeeery curious who it is that got that hit put on her. There's a damn good many who would want her dead, so she doesn't right away suspect only Mayberry. She sees this as some business as deathright to wrap up. She has her ear out. That said, of course Martha is happy in Hell, this is where she wanted to be! She just wasn't ready yet. She wanted to live longer, so revenge is definitely on the mind.

Has a lovely two story cabin in Hell that she and Ralphie both slaughtered the previous owners of and claimed dominion over with their children. The owners, once resurrected, sure learned to stop coming back and left the property well alone.

She is a lovely neighbor of Cannibal Town. Enjoys the festivities a lot! Very active participant in the community even though she doesn't live within the city limits exactly, just somewhere outside of them. Seeks to make a nice relationship with Rosie. :)

The idea of becoming an Overlord is intriguing to her, and it's an idea she is definitely playing around with. For now, her soul belongs to no one.

Martha is still very much into the Kings and Queens she worshiped while she was alive and even has altars to them! Still pays tribute and still carries out rituals in their names. That part of her isn't going away.

I am playing with her from when she was alive and while she is in Hell. Both are going to be fun. :]

Drawing inspiration from .. Tiffany Valentine, Rob Zombie's music and bits of his movies ( "I am the Devil, and I am here to do the Devil's work." ) , and Texas Chainsaw.

Please note: This is devil worship done in the stereotypical Hellaverse & Horror Movies way with a little more knowledge of the actual demons - this is not an accurate depiction of the followings of these actual Infernal Divines.

[noveratus]

Alastor Theory

Before the next episode of Hazbin Hotel comes out, I would like to put my theory out there as to who he serves, his relationship Lilith and why he was so antagonistic toward Lucifer as well as the source of all of his power.

I will not be using content outside of what has been presented in the show so far since I think it is safe to say the canonization of those is dubious at best.

So, my theory is that, the reason why Alastor had so much power upon arrival is that he was a cultist and a worshipper of a demon when he died. Based on the fact that his powers are so closely related to radio, I believe that the way he indoctrinated people and spread his lord's words were through the radio. He was also likely a cannibal in life due to the strong wendigo themes found in his character and design. This would also mean that, once he died, while he would have great power, he would be immediately in 'another demon's leash' as Husk put it.

Now, that leads us to the next question. What demon is it? Is it a sinner? A lot of people seem to think that Lilith might be this demon, however, I disagree. While we don't know much about Lilith so far, the one thing that we do know was that she was someone who refused to be submissive to someone else, she valued her own freedom above all else, which is why it would be quite hypocritical of her to go around forcing others, especially sinners, to be submissive to her and I just don't think that is the case. I could be wrong though, maybe the hypocrisy is a part of her character, however, that along with her desire for Hell to rise up against their oppressors aka heaven leads me to believe that no. Lilith is not the one who owns Alastor's soul.

So who is it? Have we even seen them yet? Well, yes. I think so. Right here.

This is in one of the first frames of the pilot (which we know is still canon to the show.) In this part, we see a woman trying to plead with other demons, including who appears to be Lucifer himself, however, Lucifer and the shadow behind him point at the same time to the next scene that leads to the purge. Now, while the shadow behind him could be another form of Lucifer, I don't think it is. Yes, they act in unison, however, I think it is more so in a way where Lucifer will do wharever the shadow behind him tells him to do, which is why I believe this isn't lucifer, but rather another prince of hell, one that we have not seen in Helluva Boss yet: Satan.

When it comes to christianity, Satan and Lucifer often get associated with each other to the point where some will consider them to be one and the same. With that in mind and the fact that Lucifer looks nothing like the usual depiction of the devil it is my theory that the other prince of hell most associated with the position of being the ruler of hell would have those traits instead. So far, other princes of hell like Asmodeus have been at least somewhat faithful to the designs of their Christian counterparts, so I think it is safe to assume Satan will as well. Since Satan is shown at the same time as Lucifer here, who is quite an important character to the show, I think that means he will most likely be an important figure as well since his actions appear to be what led to the purge happening itself, placing him as the primary antagonist of the show (or of a potential season two seeing as the main antagonist currently is Adam), and the prime contender for owning Alastor's soul. He is certainly powerful enough for that, and keeping in mind that we are probably not seeing any princes of hell that have already appeared in Helluva Boss, I think it makes a lot of sense. Leviathan could technically be an option too, but I have a feeling that Leviathan will be shown in Helluva Boss eventually, same with Baal.

So, I think that Alastor was previously a worshipper of Satan, perhaps his top dog on Earth, who got him more followers than anyone else through radio and leading to Alastor being incredibly powerful once he came to hell, but with the caveat that he is in Satan's leash.

In that case, what is Lilith's role in all of this? Since I believe Lilith's primary theme in this show will be that of freedom, I think she is working with Alastor to try and free his soul from Satan's grasp. I think that they have a very close relationship, with Alastor respecting her and thus leading to his distaste towards Lucifer who he might see as a coward due to his refusal to oppose heaven like his ex wife. It is my theory that Lilith requested that Alastor used his power to watch over Charlie and keep her safe while Lilith worked on whatever she has been working on for the past seven years.

[twistedtummies2]

Top 12 Portrayals of Jacob Marley

The last two characters I’ve covered in this little marathon were the two most important human characters Scrooge encounters in “A Christmas Carol.” Of course, not all of the major characters can exactly qualify as “human” any longer. Enter Jacob Marley: Scrooge’s former friend and business partner, and the first of the phantoms he encounters in the story. While Fred and Bob Cratchit stand as opposing foils to Scrooge, Marley is something different: just like the words he utters, he, himself, acts as a warning to Ebenezer of what his ill behavior could lead to. Through Marley (and the other Tormented Spirits Scrooge sees), not only does Dickens create arguably the scariest and most unsettling scene in the original book, but he also conjures up a karmic punishment so ingenious, Lucifer himself should really take notes! Here we have a man who is forever doomed to wander around, forced to see hardship and suffering and realize he is truly no different from any other human soul. He can do nothing to help, only reflect on his mistakes, his guilt, and his inability to make amends and atone for his crimes, however direct or indirect they might have been. The only “comfort” he has are the very material objects he hoarded in his lifetime, lashed about him to ironically provide even more agony, with every link of the chains that strap them to his form acting as a reminder of a sin he can no longer redeem himself for. As harrowing as Marley’s scene is, there’s also a good deal of humor to it, given the very surreality of the whole scenario and Scrooge’s snappish personality. There’s also a hint of something deeper and sadder under it; in the book, at least, it’s revealed that Marley himself is the one who arranges the whole debacle and manages to get this whole story to get underway, and he does it because he wants to give his friend a sporting chance to escape. It’s not clear if Marley, himself, will get anything out of this, but he tries his best to help Ebenezer, which shows a great change in his character, and helps to sell the message of the story: it’s really never too late to change. It CAN, however, be too late to do anything about it if you don’t shape up in time. Redemption and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin, and Marley is a prime example of that: he sees the error of his ways, but it no longer matters. That is the tragedy of the whole situation. This is yet another character I’ve played, and I’d love the chance to do so again. (Annoying as the costume requirements may be.) With so many versions of the Carol, Marley has been played a lot of different ways: some make him more frightening, others more human, and some even make him a more comical figure. All of them are fairly solid and viable options, if handled right. With that said, here are My Top 12 Favorite Portrayals of Jacob Marley!

12. Mr. Slate, from A Flintstones Christmas Carol. (Here the character is referred to as "Jacob Marbley." Because rock puns. :P )

11. Goofy, from Mickey’s Christmas Carol. (He ranks low only because it’s so weird imagining Goofy “robbing from widows and swindling the poor.” Like…something there doesn’t sound right. Unless this is Jack Kinney’s Goofy, maybe. :P )

10. Basil Rathbone, from Shower of Stars: A Christmas Carol.

9. Ed Asner, from A Christmas Carol (1997).

8. Statler & Waldorf, from The Muppet Christmas Carol. (Here they make up the duo "Jacob and Robert Marley.")

7. Jason Alexander, from A Christmas Carol: The Musical (2004). (A lot of people seem to dislike this take on Marley, but I personally love it.)

6. Everett Sloane, from the Campbell Playhouse Radio Production (1939). (For these entries, I'm not including images of the cast in a Carol costume, because...well...they're from a RADIO production. Just wanna make that clear. XD)

5. Frank Finlay, from A Christmas Carol (1984).

4. Royal Dano, from Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol.

3. Alec Guinness, from Scrooge (1970). (“Use the Force, Scrooge!”)

2. Bernard Lloyd, from A Christmas Carol (1999).

1. Sir Michael Hordern, from Scrooge (1951) AND A Christmas Carol (1971).

[muzzleroars]

Yo, I was looking up information on Fraud to ask you questions but apparently in Dante's fanfiction at the end of Fraud and the start of Treachery there is the 'Central Well of Malebolge' which is filled with Giants, both biblical and greek all of whom are related to treachery, which leads on to the thought of Minos, or more exactly the giant husk that remains in Lust and also Sisyphus's giant corpse in Greed, both commited 'treachery' to heaven by reform and rebellion. I wonder if there is a connection between rebeling = get huge or if it was something manufactured by heaven or hell for some weird reason.

It would be interesting if on return to Treachery Gabriel's old body became a massive icy landmark and a reminder to all he lost. there is a metaphor there.

oooooh yes the pit of giants is an odd part of the inferno but it makes a very stark and startling end to dis as the poets reach cocytus - dante at first mistakes the giants for massive towers or turrets, believing them to be more hellish architecture before virgil corrects him. most are classical giants from greek myth, with the majority seemingly punished for defying zeus and now, ironically or perhaps fittingly, keeping guard around the frozen lake of the treacherous. however, there's a weird wrinkle in the souls here with the presence of antaeus and nimrod. antaeus did not join the rebellion against zeus; accordingly, he is unchained and assists the poets down to cocytus. but then nimrod is also located here - he defied god by building the tower of babel, but absolutely nothing suggests he was a giant in life. so it's quite possible these giants are representatives of pride as a forerunner to treachery, which has no other place in hell (yet does on mount purgatory and is considered a deadly sin)

it follows then that what you're saying makes a lot of sense, that like the angels perhaps husks have a secondary way of growing massive in size - angels have virtue, husks could have pride (as measured by heaven, and certainly deciding to rebel against their station - as lucifer once did - suggests a staggering amount). i'm also just SO fascinated with the idea of gabriel's cast off "husk" (as i think of fallen angels being sort of an equivalent to prime souls - they are a rebirth only achieved by the higher ranks). i love the idea of it being inert, not a threat of any kind, frozen and dead, but absolutely sickening for gabriel to confront. it may even be frozen totally in cocytus as all those in judecca are - twisted and locked deep in the ice, yet impossible to miss in its now enormous scale. and just the thought of him crossing over cocytus only to look down and see that....idc how close they are to the bottom of hell, they're turning around!!!!

[wendigonamecaller]

Deadly Kiss.

Desc: Asher wasn't a bad person. She was quiet, well behaved, and had a gentle beauty about her that naturally made people flock to her. Asher was a good person, until she was given a reason not to be. 2002, she's only 22, never willingly been intimate with anyone, when police stumble upon her body in the Tennessee senator's home, a single gunshot wound to her head and a gun in her corpses grasp. She wakes up in hell, with a new appearance and powers, which present her with new opportunities, until she meets Angel Dust and becomes mixed up in Charlie Morningstar's hotel, unevitably becoming mixed up with Alastor.

Taglist: @sparrowrye

Pt. 13: Who Owns Who?

Alastor and Asher were taking their time walking back to the parlor, until a loud noise and the hotel rumbling startled them. "Close your eyes, my dear." Alastor instructed.

Asher closes her eyes and feels her surroundings shift a few times before Alastor's hand leaves her lower back. Asher opens her eyes and sees the hotel in the middle of chaos, loan sharks were attacking and Mimzy was cowering.

"Of course." Asher growled, severely pissed that Husker was right and still got his shit almost beat in by Alastor, which makes her lips lift slightly into a snarl.

All because of this pudgy showgirl that obviously wasn't in her prime anymore. Asher teleported in front of the bar, smiling sadly at Husker before reaching over and grabbing Mimzy by the neckline of her dress and hauling her over the bar top with only one arm as Alastor shifted forms and took off after the loan sharks.

"Give me one good reason not to fuck you up." Asher snarled, ears puffing out their fur and standing stiffly on the top of her head.

Mimzy doesn't get to answer as Midnight pulls Asher off of the much shorter girl. Mimzy sneaks her way out of the hotel towards Alastor who was now done fighting and was just relaxing in the view of his carnage. He makes Mimzy leave, before re-entering the now chaotic hotel.

-♡

"I work for her you can't just do that Light!" Midnight snapped, attempting and failing to tower over Asher as everyone watched.

Asher's ears twitched and her right eye turned gold. "She brought bullshit to this hotel, which may I remind you is my home right now, and you expect me not to get pissed? I've made better progress in under a month here than I've ever made anywhere else." Asher says, voice oddly calm.

Alastor tilts his head as he watches and Husker gets ready to grab Midnight and throw her out. "What, you wanna get a free ticket to heaven after killing more than you should've as a human? That's not how that fucking works Ash." Midnight growls, before regretting it as Asher's other eye glows gold and turquoise chains appear on Midnights neck and wrists, knocking her to her knees.

The entire hotel goes rigid as Asher yanks on the chains, forcing Midnight down fully. "I sincerely hope you didn't mean that as an insult, Midnight. Even so, if you ever say that again.." She begins, approaching Midnight slowly.

"I will bind your soul with a pact so that the only time you ever see the light of Hell is when I'm using you for background entertainment, otherwise I will rip you apart piece by bitter fucking piece and devour you like the meal you're running from becoming." Asher growls, her claws extending dangerously long and her demonic horns and wings making an appearance as her eyes turn from gold to red and her gray skin darkens to black.

"Yes ma'am, I understand." Midnight murmured, her fur fluffed out in alarm and fear.

"Excellent, you're dismissed." Asher says, going back to normal.

She turns around, finding the hotel beginning to relax. Angel Dust laughs, Charlie looks in shock, Vaggie's expression is dark but she can see the fear, Husker is utterly terrified by the display, Nifty looks like she's gushing and Alastor's eyes hold surprise briefly before going back to his chaos loving self.

Lucifer laughs before stepping forward. "Magnificent, a doe owning a fox soul, and owning it delightfully in a menacing way. My dear, are you an overlord?" Lucifer asked, standing awfully close to Asher.

"No, I am not. I had a chance to be, but I have better things to do than kill twenty four seven all because Vox is a hungry bastard." Asher says.

"Absolutely darling." Lucifer says, kissing Asher's knuckles.

Asher pulls her hand away, slyly wiping her hand on her shirt. Alastor prances into Asher's line of sight, his smile was strained and she could vaguely see how a vain in his temple was pulsing with an effort to not massacre the Devil.

He reached out and fixed the laples of the waist coat he'd let her wear to hide her tail. He dusts off her shoulder and tucked some of her hair behind her ear, a fleeting moment of intimacy passing between them and Asher feels her pulse speed up once more.

[chaotiicus]

WORKING ON ICONS AND STUFF

For fun, while I’m working on getting icons for Doris, I’m going to give you guys lore facts and information about changes for Doris and Lilim. If you like them and want more just like the post and/or comment what or who you wanna know more about and I’ll answer little bits here and there as I work. For now, here is the first round under the read more cut!

WARNING: there any be some triggering topics so make sure to check the tags.

Lilim

Lilim is a big supporter of women’s rights as well as women’s wrongs. Why? Because women are complex beings capable of hosting both light and dark energies, making both good and bad choices. That is the beauty of free will.

Contrary to popular belief, she is not a ‘hater of all men’. Men have their uses and are also beings of free will (depending on the species) meaning they have value. What she hates are men that believe they are superior due to their masculinity, use their supposed superiority to oppress/hurt others, or use it as an excuse for not taking action. These men she sees as nothing more than bugs even if they have ‘changed their ways’ Lilim would not ‘forgive’ them.

Does not matter your race, gender, sexuality, or species Lilim believes she is a superior being. There are few she would consider on the same level as herself and even fewer that she’d consider above her.

If she was a celestial body, she’d be the moon. Lilim is content with this celestial representation as it shows her want to watch over the events of the world and play an important but not totally central role is what is happening. She is happy with pulling strings and manipulating things being the curtains.

When Lilim walks the prime material plane (our reality/plane of existence or Earth) in her true form and not just via use of a vessel, bad things do not necessarily happen. You’d think that just her presence would cause disaster to spring forth in the world and it can just like other extremely high ranking demons and devils (think Lilith, Lucifer, Satan, Asmodeus, Leviathan, and the likes). However she has a lot of control over her presence and energies due to her origins making her hard to locate while on the Prime Material.

 Lilim was chosen to be the vessel of the first generation of lilin not because she was the only one to survive heaven’s purge of she and her sisters but because she was the one most like Lilith when she was young. This resemblance is the same reason why Lilith does very little to police Lilim even though she is technically the only one that can.

If Lilim had to be classified under fighting style archetype she’d be an assassin-type. Though she has great abilities when it comes to spells she prefers the physical aspect of the fight and cloak and dagger tactics.

She is a big ‘never forgive or forget but it’s okay to act like you do’ kinda person.

While their are cases of demons/devils ascending from their origins to be celestial beings akin to angels this is not possible for Lilim due to many of the horrific acts she as committed during her life. Should someone close to her choose the path of ascension Lilim will view this was one of the ultimate acts of betrayal. She will stop at nothing to destroy that person and will plan for eons to do so.

Lilim detests the scent of frankincense and myrrh as it is the smell that holy Saints give off and brings back painful memories that she cannot fully remember as they belong to the being ‘Lily’ the person she was before her soul was ripped apart by Lilith and sewn together with the other remnants of the first generation of lilin to create what she is now.

Doris

If Doris was a celestial body, she’d been the sun. That’s not what she wants to be though. If she had a choice she’d be the moon or stars. To Doris, the sun is a fiery mass that scorches the earth and causes pain like dehydration, sunburns, and heat stroke that get to close to it or are in its presence to long. She has forgotten that without the sun there would be no life as plants would be unable to grow and people unable to see their way around the dark.

If she was given a fighting type archetype, Doris would a mage-type. However do not let the idea that primary casters are physically weak. If forced into a corner with no mana or spells at her disposal she is not afraid to use her fists, nails, and teeth if she must.

Doris’ divination abilities are not normal even among other supernaturals. She should have been consumed by madness at an early age due to the extreme nature of her gift but has somehow held on to her sense of self even though it causes her a lot of pain and suffering.

Her divination gift is also not necessarily magical in nature nor is it a mutation or miracle of any sort. When examined by higher level beings (such as an archdemon, archdevil, plantar, archfey, deity, or the likes) it as an odd nearly Eldritch feel to it though it is not tied to any discernible force or beings. It is almost as if some Outer Planar energy latched onto her natural magical gift and unintentionally amplified it. 

Due to her gift of divination and the strength of her third/inner eye, Doris’ actual physical vision isn’t that great and continues to get worse as the years drag on. She does her best to offset this with elixirs. It is currently completely curable with the help of glasses or contacts but she hates how round they make her face look or how they feel in her eyes.

Doris for sure smokes vapes. She has an adorable pink box mod and the juices she uses are always some sort of fruity menthol. The only time she smokes real cigarettes (which have to be menthol) is when she is drinking alcohol.

Not doubt due to her chronic pain, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and eating disorder she is a cannabis user. While she probably smokes it from time to time she much prefers edibles due to her love of cooking causing her to learn how to make her own. Her cannabis use is not something she is hyper open about nor will you ever find her stash unless you go snooping through her things. However if asked if she is down for a ‘sesh’ (meaning the consumption of cannabis with a group) she’ll most likely agree as long as she knows the person or those involved well enough.

Doris has ASD or autism spectrum disorder but is undiagnosed as she and her aunt didn’t really put all the pieces together about it until Doris was already an adult. While their is still value in her getting a diagnosis it’s not completely necessary since she has already learned to function on her own with the assistance a diagnosis could provide. 

Doris has a surprisingly loving and healthy relationship with her maternal aunt who raised her. While her aunt seems like a cold person to most that is not necessarily true.

As many of you know, Doris has a snake familiar named ‘Sugar’. Doris has raised Sugar since she was found abandoned by Doris’ aunt in the Feywilds. This means that Sugar is by definition a Fey being capable of wielding some most likely minor magics. Sugar’s greatest boon/ability is her venom which Doris has spend years making an antidote for that must be administered with in 24 hours of the initial bite if the victim is going to survive.

Lilim & Doris

When Doris was assaulted while she was still in boarding school it was Lilim who killed her assaulter and punished those that enabled him. Doris summoned Lilim willing to offer anything she had if the demoness would ‘keep her safe’. After hearing why such a young witch wanted to make such a desperate deal, Lilim was infuriated. Once more God’s creation man had tried to rob a young woman of something precious before she could even come into her power and due to the act of supposed repentance no justice was served within the House of God. The staff at the school were tortured with demonic possessions and deaths until the archdiocese commanded the school be closed and burnt to the ground in hopes of containing or abolishing whatever taint had taken hold. The man that hurt Doris was taken to hell personally by Lilim where he remains for eternity never knowing rest and forever in agony. Lilim did take payment from Doris but because it was something the archdevil took joy in doing the price was cheep, a batch of the witch’s famous lavender lemon cake cookies and the promise that if Doris was to ever make a contract with higher level being it would only ever be with Lilim.

Lilim has a large soft spot for Doris. Though she does wish for the witch to enter a contract with her and force her and her gifts into Lilim’s eternal service, the archdevil also enjoys seeing Doris desperately fight to carve her own path. It’s a little sadistic but their relationship has very much a big sister and little sister vibe. Because of this, the nature of their relationship, and the danger of labels the term ‘friendship’ is not used between them merely ‘close acquaintances’.

Lilim does not like Doris’ aunt as she believes it was that woman’s fault that Doris suffered at the Catholic boarding school due to willful ignorance of the dangers of putting a young unprotected witch in a Christian setting even in modern times.

Doris does still meet with Lilim sometimes though not often. They drink mead and eat edibles (both made by Doris) and talk. Doris finds Lilim’s tales of hell’s politics and her personal exploits fascinating while Lilim takes great joy in Doris’ reactions to her saucier part of the stories and teasing the witch. While this is a wholesome time for the two it is not solely that as each visit Lilim is seeking a way to still bring Doris under her power and it is something they are both actively aware of.

[light-miracles]

LU! Thought I had that you are the target audience for and that I don't know how it holds up on the greater scheme of how the DC hell works: Lucifer pissed that Trigon escaped, because that is THEIR hell (dunno if Tom or Gwendolyn Lucifer so they and decide for yourself) and they are the only one who gets to set people free, sends Maze after Trigon to snuff out. Doesn't know what to do with Trigon's kid though so Maze just brings Angela and Rachel to hell like ??? babe you didn't tell me about this possible scenario ??? things happen and Lucifer/Maze/Angela OT3 with Rachel as the princess of hell! Thoughts?

Jesus 👀👀👀👀👀👀 New AU unblocked Taki like Yes, Yes that's what I want.

(Mmm Gwendolyn's the closest to DCs Lucifer, so going with her right her)

Trigon that STUPID Satan's son (remember Lucifer and Satan aren't the same person in DC) is wreaking havoc in Earth Prime and people start to say "the devil has come to kill us" and well Lucifer can't have that bitch staining her Bad name because she Sure as Hell doesn't Care about Earth Prime and if humankind insists on blaming her for all their problems they can perish for it. BUT she already hated Trigon from before, because the motherfucker once insulted Mazikeen and *no one* can mess with Mazikeen and live, so Lucifer lets her boo hunt him down like a dog.

Mazikeen hunts the Church of Trigon to Gotham, and murders him when he's incarnated, moments later he'd just impregnated some random human young girl???? Like, wtf was he trying to do?

The girl is homeless pretty much just was in the wrong place in the wrong moment, but the child in her belly belongs to Hell, so the best option would be to take her there until it's born and Lucifer can decide what to do about it. Also, she wouldn't be the first living human in hell, Maze reasoned remembering Lucifer's wild weekend with Dante Alleghieri.

The girl is so vulnerable it's not even fun to mess with her tho. Innocent like an angel. Went with her because she literally had nowhere else to go. Lucifer let Mazikeen keep her but wondered why she even bothered. She's even more pathetic than an average human. Yet Mazikeen saw in her the chance of creating a new kind of monster from raw material.

So Angela is *slowly* seduced into Mazikeen's demon ways. Lots (lots) of rage to explote. Mazikeen teaches her to be bloodthirsty, cruel, and evil. And Angela *loves* it. She's finally free from all a life of abuses and no one will ever hurt her again. She's sold her soul to the Devil and the person she was before *dies* under the evilness of her new self.

Lucifer is surprised, a little at least. The mere human has chosen to follow her with a fervor only seen in Mazikeen herself before. She realizes, in surprise, that unlike the rest of the humans that 'followed the devil' before her, Angela doesn't fear her. She *loves* her. Loves the freedom Lucifer represents. Inside her it's the hate for God's creation she also feels.

She gives her favors, then. One of them is joining Mazikeen and herself sometimes. It's more out of pure curiosity than genuine feelings, at first. But with time that human manages to get the highest feeling she can feel for a human: respect.

And when Raven Morningstar is born, she's the Princess of Hell because she doesn't belong to God, she's the first being of the Creation that fully belong to Lucifer

[glygriffe]

Dead-end job: A rock and a hard place

Characters - Billie (Reaper), Death, Lucifer

Summary - Behind the scene of 5 x 15 Dead men don't wear plaid: Death and his right-hand reaper, Billie, negotiate the rising of the deads in Sioux Falls.

Word Count - 3 236

Warnings - None really, zombies mentioned

A note - Most recent installation in my Dead-end job Series (the working relationship of Death and Billie thru Supernatural) on AO3.

Chapter 1: Lucifer's Plan

« I think I've come up with a great plan to help Sam say yes », said Lucifer.

« I thought you were already certain he would say yes. »

Death raised an eyebrow making the statement. He didn't want to show his exasperation at the bratty child of God's antics; the eyebrow was a compromise to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

« Yes, yes, but I want to speed things a bit », answered Lucifer, making a swirling gesture with his indexes. Then, with a swiping movement up and down his vessel's body: « Good ol' Nick here is like a suit that is too tight. I'm eager to get my true vessel as fast as possible. »

Death took in the skin problems that Lucifer's vessel was exhibiting. He knew that the archangel drank the blood of, on average, 10 demons a week to keep his vessel (barely) strong enough to contain his essence. That was not that much, considering he had access to Hell. But, maybe Hell was not as well stocked in demons as the horseman thought.

It usually took a hundred years of torture, more or less, to twist a soul into black smoke in Hell. Princes and knights of that particular kingdom were sometimes speeding up the process by putting the soul in limbo, where time moved differently, and assigning their best men on a case, like it happened with the soul of one Dean Winchester, not so long ago. If the state of Lucifer's vessel was any indication, the limbo-torture fast track was not fast enough.

Judging by the poor condition of the cavern they were using to have their meeting, maybe the death of the demon Azazel had left Hell in disarray when Lucifer had finally broken out of his cage. Maybe too many demons escaped top-side when the Devil's gates opened in Wyoming. Maybe Lucifer was killing too many of his minions just for fun. Or to bind me to him, forcing me rise to this plane of existence and to walk the earth, thought the horseman, somewhat bitterly.

« Why are you telling me about Sam Winchester? Don't you have a plethora of demons and other worshipers to act as sounding boards? »

Lucifer's eyes went deadly and he tugged violently at the bounding spell, making Death lose his balance. Apparently, his exasperation was showing more than he thought, after all, and the fallen archangel was not please. To make matters worse, he could almost feel Billie harrumphed, just out of sight, which it did not help him keep his aloofness or his dignity.

Thankfully for the horseman ego, Lucifer's attention-span was short; he let go of his traction on Death's leash, and was already rubbing his hands together and pacing back and forth as he thought of the next step in his scheme.

« Since it would be much easier to get Sam to see my point if his support system was weaker – Ruby could attest to the veracity of that if she was still alive –, I think I'll send you to Sioux Fall to kill that salty crippled old hunter. I'm told that without their father figure, the boys could be at each other's throat, as they were under Ruby's influence. Maybe you could maim Michael's vessel while you're at it. Two birds, one rock kind of deal. »

Death stared at the fallen archangel. Maiming a vessel was not against his Prime directive of maintaining cosmic balance, even if he didn't like to intervene in that way. But he found the Winchester brothers fascinating, notwithstanding God's almost obsessive interest in them. Watching them more closely since the rise of Lucifer in Ilchester, Maryland, he could almost understand the divine obsession with them and he wasn't thrill at the idea of desecrated one of them. Not to mention the fact that it was repulsive to stoop to brutalizing a human to begin with.

A few moments passed in complete silence, during which Lucifer seemed to lose some of his composure.

In the shadows, Billie could feel Lucifer's uneasiness and the horseman contempt filling the space between them. She found a good amount of pleasure at seeing the Archangel backtrack a little.

« Nah. You're right. It would be more fun to beat Michael in the Apocalypse if he is at full power. Forget the Dean thing. Getting Bobby Singer out of the picture will be enough. »

She could almost see the snake squirming to emerge from the fallen archangel and rig the game in his favor, even as his words claimed otherwise. She also could feel quite distinctly that her boss wanted nothing to do with the part of the plan about Bobby Singer, either.

He did not say it out loud, though; he was taciturn by nature and the reaper thought he would do a lot to avoid having to plea with the Devil. That would be demeaning, for sure.

She still could not believe Death had not been able prevent the bounding spell. Even she had seen it coming for a long time before it happened. Wasn't he a cosmic entity as old as God himself? Now, he didn't have much choice in the matter. He was Lucifer's servant, to put it bluntly. Billie would never had let that happen to her, if she had his powers and standing.

Not that Billie herself had any standing, in the grand scheme of things. But she had a little freedom and she wanted to use it to keep the balance in the universe, as Death did. She chose to be here, to assist her boss if he needed anything. She didn't have to be in Lucifer's presence; not like Death had to be while the Light Bringer kept him on such a short leash, literally. But it was interesting to observe him while keeping out of sight. A reaper with ambition, as she was, could learn a lot in the presence of archangels. And Lucifer was the only one she had access to.

Billie receded even more in the shadows to observe, cloaking her presence behind the powerful aura of the Pale horseman. The archangel was not paying any attention to her. His mind had already changed track, his body pacing again the rocky floor, unease completely forgotten.

« I want you to show some showmanship while getting rid of Signer. I'm bored. I need entertainment. Kill the whole town for some flair. You can sort of replicate what I did in Carthage; I won't slap you with copyrights », he added with a smile. He even winked at Death while saying this, and both the horseman and the reaper recoiled a little, involuntarily.

« And make sure to kill Singer in front of Sam, for more pathos; it is the details that reveal a job well done. »

The reaper listened to her boss remind the archangel about the natural order of things that needs to be preserved in the way souls depart this Earth, even in the mist of an Apocalypse. She smiled; he was doing a good job of getting out of the task without outright refusing it. It was easy to tell he was successful by the way Lucifer paced the floor in a different rhythm, looking more and more like a spoiled child about to throw a tantrum. She admired Death's persuasion skills and strict values at that moment.

« Then what CAN you do? », roared the archangel, his modicum amount of patience down right exhausted. « I thought you were the most powerful horseman, but maybe I should send for Pestilence instead; he seems to have a better understanding of my needs. »

Hearing such a lack of respect made Billie's blood boil, even if she doesn't have technically a body here. She calmed herself down when she realized that Lucifer might discover her if she let her emotions get the better of her, and THAT would not be a great thing for her.

After a couple of minutes of looking around the cavern as if he missed something (Billie's presence, in that case), Lucifer stopped fidgeting around and slapped his hand merrily on his thigh. Billie almost got whiplash from the fast change in his humor. « Oh! I know: you will rise the undead! That is the perfect apocalypse scenario, and since we are talking bodies, not ensouled people, there won't be any of that 'souls leaving in the natural order' nonsense. »

« Very well », conceded Death after a beat. He could feel Billie shake her head, but she didn't understand that this new scenario was a small victory.

Since Death took an interest in the Winchester brothers, he knew that when they fought monsters, they won more often then they lose. In this new zombie scenario, Bobby Singer would have a better chance to live until the moment the Fates have chosen to cut his thread. And Death was fairly sure he could get one of the zombies to give a message to Bobby that may thwart the plan of the impudent that enslaved him. Or he could even go himself (and grab some chislic while in South Dakota). The message should by cryptic, though, to avoid drawing Lucifer's attention unnecessary on his intervention.

///

Later, when made aware of the plan, Billie mumbled under her breath that he should not intervene at all: « The natural order should not be tampered with, you taught me that. But if you are forced to do so, do it as little as possible. And that means no message that could influence a life or death situation in one way or the other. The zombie mess will be bad enough. »

Death refrained from rolling his eyes again. Sometimes, Billie could be as tiresome as Lucifer.

Chapter 2