#Basically. If you have thoughts and you share them you are contributing so much

[hajihiko]

like 70% of my Posting origin story is just "I need someone to be talking about (x). If I draw (x) maybe people will at least acknowledge (x) in their tags or somesuch. *it happens* OMG WAIT OK I ALSO HAVE THOUGHTS ON (Y&Z&Q)--"

[enha-stars]

✧ Homecoming (18+)

paring: idol!heeseung x fem!reader (fluff, smut)

summary: Heeseung, your boyfriend, has been on tour for the past 2 months with the rest of Enhypen. According to him, he’d be home in five days. But not everything goes according to plan, and sometimes, fate is on our side.

warnings: swearing, SMUT, kissing, minor exhibitionism, unprotected sex, teasing, hair pulling, wall sex (basically), oral sex & fingering (fem receiving), crying, praise, slight dom!hee, fluff

wc: 7.1 k

Heeseung and the rest of the boys lounged in his shared hotel room, waiting for their manager to figure out their recent predicament. Although their tour had officially ended a few days ago, they still had a few promotions left. This morning, their manager had told them that the promotions might have been pushed to virtual, which meant they could officially go back home. 

“I hope we get to go home soon,” Riki mumbles, half dangling off the bed with his legs in Jay’s lap. 

Jungwon and Sunghoon nod, mumbling in agreement. Heeseung was too busy staring at the door to contribute to their conversation. Everyone knew that out of the seven, Heeseung wanted to go home so badly. 

He loved touring and his fans and the amazing experience that came with his job, but he missed you. He missed you so much that when his manager first told him that there was a possibility that they would be going home sooner than intended, he almost burst into tears. None of the other members even teased him for it, knowing that when it came to you, he was a bit extreme. 

“Hyung,” Jay called him. He nudged Heeseung with his foot and the man snapped out of his trance and raised an eyebrow at Jay. “Are you going to tell Y/n?”

Heeseung thought about it. He could tell you, but nothing was confirmed yet and he’d hate to give you false hope. Plus, he’d really like to surprise you. He could already see it. The way your eyes would light up and your soft lips would part before you whispered his name. 

Heeseung shook his head and patted Jake’s head that rested on his lap. “No, I probably won’t. I want to surprise her.”

Jay nodded in understanding. He knew how much Heeseung had missed you. Hell, they all missed you.  You weren’t just Heeseung’s girlfriend, you were their friend. Someone who took care of them and got taken care of. Before he could respond, the door opened and all seven heads turned to the sound of their manager’s voice.

“Good news, guys,” their manager smiled at them. “We’re taking the next flight home.”

A collective sigh of relief was heard in the room and Heeseung smiled so bright that Sunoo laughed at him. 

“Don’t look too excited, hyung.” Jake grinned. 

He was going home. He’d be with you soon enough. The thought alone had him on cloud nine, not minding the teasing that came from his members. He even let Jake borrow his beanie and gave one of his jackets to Sunghoon. 

He couldn’t wait to have you in his arms. Talking to you everyday was something, but it wasn’t enough. He missed how you felt in his arms, how he felt in you. He missed your laugh and your mouth. 

Heeseung checked his phone and smiled at your last message. A quick update of your day and a picture of your outfit. He sent you a quick text, ‘Let’s call later, I love you.’ And turned off his phone. 

There was a small pep to his step as he packed. Instead of throwing all his stuff into the suitcase, he followed Sunghoon’s example and neatly folded his clothes. You’d be proud of him, he thought. Wondering if his reward would be a kiss or a simple shake of the head. 

Now, there was nothing but a few hours and a plane ride between you both. 

He couldn’t wait to see you. To tell you he loved you. To make up for two months of time. 

You glanced at your phone when you heard that familiar ping! When you saw Heeseung’s name on the screen, you lunged for your phone, almost tumbling off the stool you were sitting on. 

Your lips lifted into a small smile at Heeseung’s text. It wasn’t enough, but it would have to do. At least you would get to hear his voice later. For now, you liked his message and placed your phone back on the counter. Currently, you were trying to finish a painting you had started a few weeks ago.

The inspiration for the painting came to you after you had watched a fan’s recording of one of their recent concerts. The fan had managed to record all seven members dancing while the moon shone brightly down on them. It sparked something in you and here you were, trying to decide how many pieces of confetti you wanted to paint. After deciding on the aesthetic instead of the quantity, you let yourself get lost in the painting. It almost felt like you were with them, standing by the stage as they performed. 

Playing their music as you worked only helped your delusions. 

A few hours passed and your back and neck hurt. Stiff, you slowly stretched your back and winced at the sounds you heard. If Heeseung was here, he’d crack your back for you. Or if Jay was here, he’d offer you a heating pad. You stared at the finished painting and grinned. This was one of your best yet. Using your white quill, you signed the bottom of the painting and let it sit. 

Quietly, you shuffled across your apartment in your socks, swaying your hips to Sunoo’s voice. With Heeseung gone and none of the other members bothering you, you lived a relatively quiet life. In quiet moments like this, you truly felt thankful for them. They brought so much joy to your life. Loud and disruptive, but warm and healing at the same time. 

As you stood in front of your fridge, your smile turned into a frown at the thought of Heeseung. You missed him so much. His hoodies stopped smelling like him and video chatting wasn’t enough. You missed hearing his laughter and his constant singing. You missed the way he’d find ways to touch you, having to have skin-to-skin contact with you at all times. You missed his teasing and horrible jokes. It didn’t help that you hadn’t properly finished since he had left.

No matter how hard you tried, how wet you were, nothing could push you over the edge the way he could. And you tried, gosh, you had tried. Nothing could compare to him, and you silently cursed him for it. Of course he’d ruin your own fingers for you. He always did want to be the best. 

Stop, you told yourself. Don’t think about him. You had come to tell yourself this many times over the weeks, knowing that even his voice wasn’t enough anymore. You needed him. 

You sighed as you scouted your fridge for all the groceries you bought yesterday and put them in a bag. You planned to stop by their dorm to clean up a bit and cook a few dishes for them. They would all be home in a few days and you wanted to give Jay a break. 

The poor guy, you frowned. You made a note to tell Heeseung to help the man out more. 

Grabbing your phone and keys, you picked up the painting and bag of groceries. The painting would look amazing on the wall adjacent to the television in their dorm and you had enough groceries to last them a few days. 

The drive to their dorm was a quick one. Usually, you would have opted to walk, but you had no plans on walking back in the night alone. 

You smiled at the attendant and made your way to their floor. Thankfully, they had fixed the elevator a few weeks ago. Maybe they finally saw the videotape of you flipping off the camera after pointing at the Out of Order sign and decided to take pity on you. 

You swiped your access card and hummed as the elevator slowly made its way up to the seventh floor. Your lips always quirked at the irony of the bright number 7 that flashed. Seven on seven. It was almost poetic. 

You put down the bag of groceries and leaned the painting on your leg as you dug through your purse for the dorm key Heeseung had given you. After a few moments, you found the Pikachu keychain and pulled at it. Your thumb brushed against the small head of the figure, recalling Heeseung’s excitement at matching keychains. 

Turning the key, you kicked the door open and winced at the smell. No matter how hard you or anyone else cleaned the dorm, a distinct scent of boy would always linger. Sighing, you grabbed the painting and bag before making your way inside, kicking your shoes off to the side. 

Immediately, you scanned the large room. You were the only one who had been here constantly in the last two months but it was always better to be safe. Sometimes, the staff liked to move the furniture around to change things up. 

Once you had made sure that all the plants were alive, you opened a few windows. It was a bit chilly out but the place needed to be aired out. 

You connected your phone to Heeseung’s speaker and began looking for the hammer that Riki had once bought because he claimed it “looked cool”. The painting was heavy and needed heavy duty assistance, which meant you needed screws as well. 

“Where did he put it?” You mumbled, having gone through all the kitchen drawers. The thing about Riki was that when he bought something, he valued it beyond anything. He usually slept with the item or banned any member from touching it. While endearing, it usually meant that when his phase was over, he tossed the item, never to be found again. 

Finally, you found the neon green hammer under the television table and sighed. That boy, you chastised. 

You reached into your pocket and grabbed the small screw you needed. Placing it on the wall, you quietly hammered it in. The best part about being Heeseung’s girlfriend and friends with the members and staff, was that you had free reign to do things like this. 

No one bat an eye if they found you hammering a painting against the wall. It made your heart squeeze, knowing that you had found your place here, with them. 

Fuck, you missed them. Only a few more days. 

Once the painting was up, you stood in the middle of the room, taking it all in. I was right, you smiled. It does tie the whole room together. 

Nodding to yourself, you grabbed the cloth you had wrung out earlier and began to dust the visible surfaces. You had cleaned up the apartment only last week, so it was still freshly clean. You didn’t have to clean up the dorm, in fact, everyone had specifically told you not to, but you wanted to. It made you feel like you were doing something; helping somehow. Plus, it made you feel at ease. You could smell faint hints of your boyfriend and the quietness of it all helped calm you down. 

Your own apartment was small, and cleaning it wasn’t nearly satisfying enough. Plus, this was the least you could do for the members and the staff. They all worked so hard, and you liked cleaning. When there was no one nagging at your or any time constraint, cleaning was almost therapeutic. 

Once you had dusted the surfaces and vacuumed, you made your way to the kitchen. You had an idea of what you wanted to cook, deciding on seven dishes; one that catered to each member. Washing your hands, you started cooking. 

You liked cooking on your own, but it was always better with someone else. Unlike Jay, you didn’t mind cooking with him. There were many nights when you’d tell him to relax and take over the kitchen, but he’d always want to do something. So, you and Jay were often in the kitchen while the younger members watched you from the island. 

Even now, you could imagine his slight frown as you took over the counter, not wanting to say anything but he never was good at controlling his facial expressions. 

You quietly chuckled to yourself, already knowing Jay’s reaction to a stocked fridge. He’d freeze at the sight and immediately start feeling bad, and you’d only pat his head and tell him to shut up. 

A few hours passed and you slowly stocked the fridge, using all of Jay’s containers. Once the food was safely put away, you began wiping down the counters. Your heart felt so full at the domestication of it all. You were tired and your body hurt, but it would be worth it to see their thankful smiles, knowing you were taking care of them as best as you could. 

Through the music and your quiet humming, you heard noise in the hallway. It started with shuffling and footsteps and turned into ruckus, with yelling and shoving. 

Freezing, you stared at the door before grabbing the closest thing to you, a butter knife. Any of the staff members would have texted you if they were coming and no one else should be here. Slowly, you walked towards the door, forgetting to turn down the music. You winced when Bite Me began playing, hoping the intruder(s) wouldn’t take the song too seriously. 

You watched in slow motion as the door swung open and you stopped breathing when you heard familiar voices and your knees buckled when your eyes landed on him. He was here. Why on earth was he here right now? 

Heeseung swings the door open, mumbling at how slow Jake could be sometimes when everything fell quiet around him. Looking up, his words died on his tongue as he made eye contact with you. 

The members behind him fell quiet, staring at you. All you could do was stare back, lips parted and eyes shining. Were you dreaming? Had the music and the spices mixed with the fumes of the cleaning supplies, putting you in psychosis? 

That’s how you all stood, staring at each other until you licked your lips and blinked a few times. You hadn’t breathed in what felt like minutes. “Heeseung?” Your voice was quiet, afraid the mirage would disappear if you spoke louder. 

Your voice; your soft, velvety voice brought him back and he smiled at you, his eyes bright and hands shaking. “Hi, pretty.” He spoke equally softly, afraid his words would tremble.

You dropped the butter knife and its clunk synced with the sound of Heeseung’s suitcase and suddenly, you were in his arms. His strong, shaky arms wrapped around you and you buried your head in his shoulder, breathing him in. His own head was in your hair, his hands traveling the length of your back, making sure you were real. 

He mumbled quiet nothings at you while you clenched your eyes shut, hating how your eyes watered. He pulled away and immediately cooed when he saw the tears falling from your eyes. His own eyes shined a bit, crinkled and glassy. 

“Oh, baby.” He used his thumbs to wipe the tears from your eyes. His heart was going to explode with the way you were looking up at him with wide eyes and trembling lips. Cupping your face, he placed a soft kiss on your lips. Before he could pull away, you grabbed the front of his hoodie and with your other hand, you cupped his cheek and tilted your head, deepening the kiss. He smiled into the kiss and you could feel his heart beating against your chest. His lips were warm and your head felt fuzzy at the scent of his familiar cologne. 

He licked your bottom lip, asking for entrance, but before you could taste his tongue, someone cleared their throat around you. You pulled away from Heeseung, smiling at his closed eyes and the pout on his lips. Turning, you realized that the other members had moved further into the dorm. Jake, Sunoo, and Riki were staring at the painting in awe while Jungwon was checking on his plants. Sunghoon was walking around, admiring the cleanliness of the room and Jay stood in the kitchen, hands on his hips as he stared at you, fridge doors open. 

You stepped away from Heeseung, grinning at the way his lips pursed and how he reached for you. You smiled at the boys in front of you and opened your arms. Immediately, Riki’s tall body enveloped your smaller one, knocking you back. You felt Heeseung’s warm hands steady you and laughed as Riki squeezed your body tight.

You rubbed his back, knowing how bad his attachment issues got. He had texted you everyday, updating you with pictures or quick voice messages. You also received his longer texts, the ones that were filled with doubts and fears. You knew Riki saw you as a parental figure, and you were okay with it. Patting his head, you whispered quiet, soothing words to the boy. 

“Move, Riki, my turn.” Sunoo rolled his eyes, pulling Riki off you. You could only laugh at Riki’s yelp before Sunoo pulled you into a hug. You hugged the boy just as tightly, kissing his cheek. You rocked with him as he buried his face into your shoulder. He, too, like Riki, had often texted you with doubts. You wished he would see himself the way you saw him, bright and talented. 

You rubbed his back, basking in the familiarity of it all. Sunoo kissed your cheek before pulling away, a wobbly smile on his face. You pat his cheek before Jake shoved Sunoo and bearhugged you, crushing you a bit. You smile as he squeezes you tight and you pat his head, knowing how attached to you he was. Saying goodbye for him wasn’t easy and you could tell he missed you by the way his body trembled. 

“Jake, move, you big baby. It’s my turn.” Jungwon pouted, arms crossed. Jake mumbled a string of incomprehensible words and released his hold on you. You pat his chest and smile at the puppy eyes he gives you. You’d have to delegate your time with them all. 

You hugged Jungwon’s slightly smaller frame, slightly surprised at his eagerness. Jungwon, while very affectionate, usually hesitated with hugs. But he needed this, so he let himself sigh into your hold. 

Behind you, you can feel Heeseung’s heat against your back. He’s close, and he’s trying to breathe you in. All he wanted to do was grab your hand and pull you into his room. He needed to kiss you, to touch your skin, bask in your scent. He would have to wait, though, because he wasn’t the only one who loved you. You were his girlfriend, yes, but you were more. You were a part of their family, someone who had been with them since their days on I-Land. 

You were Jay’s sous chef, someone who eased his burden. You were Jake’s bridge, someone he could rely on and felt safe with. You were Sunghoon’s pillar, there to remind him to stand tall and lean on you if he needed to. You were Sunoo’s breath of fresh air, a reminder that he was not alone and that things would be okay. You were Jungwon’s and Riki’s biggest supporter, caring for them the way they needed to be cared for. You stood behind Jungwon, knowing he needed care and support even though he was the leader. To you, he was still a kid. And Riki, you were everything to Riki. A sister and a mother, both when he needed one. Heeseung needed to be patient. It was his fault really, having inserted you in their lives. But he was thankful, so thankful. 

“Jungwon,” Sunghoon tsked. “I’m waiting.” He stood in front of you, arms crossed as he tapped his foot impatiently. He wasn’t the most physically affectionate, but it had been two months and he had missed you. 

Rolling his eyes, Jungwon kissed your cheek before stepping away, shoving Sunghon’s shoulder before the older boy gently wrapped his arms around you. You laughed at his behaviour, before squeezing him tight. He wasn’t often like this, but when he was, you knew he just needed some attention. 

Gently, you rubbed Sunghoon’s back, watching as his stiff shoulders slowly dropped and he melted into the hug. It was the most platonic form of affection, but it did wonders. 

Sunghoon pulled away from you, grinning so wide you almost poked his little fangs. You smiled and turned to face Jay, who still stood in the kitchen with a frown on your lips. 

You shook your head at him, he was truly predictable. “Come on, Jay, aren’t you going to give me a hug?” 

Jay sighed and dropped his shoulders before he shuffled to you. You spread your arms before wiggling your eyebrows at him. He smiled before wrapping his arms around you, hugging you the way you assumed he hugged children. You ruffled his hair before patting his back, knowing how tough the past two months must have been for him. He would tell you, all in due time. 

Stepping away, he frowned once again. “Y/n, you really didn’t have to do all of this. Who’s going to eat all that food?” 

You laughed and pointed to the five boys behind him, all looking at you with a sheepish smile. “Them. And you. And Hee.” Before Jay could argue further, you raised your hand. “I wanted to make sure you guys came home to some food and I wanted to give you a break. So, just say thank you and shut up.” 

Jay stared at you before sighing and nodding. “Thanks, Y/n. You’re the best.” You laughed at his defeated face, patting his cheek. 

“Don’t sound so upset about it,” you teased. 

Once Jay stepped away from you and walked back to the kitchen, the rest of the members fell back onto the couches, exhaustion knocking them back. Behind you, Heeseung wrapped his arms around your waist and dropped his head on your shoulder. He kissed your neck and you smiled, dropping your head back on his shoulder. 

“Y/n,” Riki patted the seat next to him. “Come sit. You too, hyung.” 

Heeseung didn’t unwrap his arms from your waist so you both slowly walked to them. He fell back onto the sofa, pulling you into his lap. You settled in, shifting a bit before you felt comfortable. Heeseung squeezed your hips, and you grinned. He couldn’t have been more obvious. 

“So,” you clapped your hands together. “What the hell are you all doing here? I thought you guys weren’t going to be back for a few days.” 

Jungwon grinned at you. “All of our ending promotions turned virtual so we got to come home early.”

You could hear Jay mumbles before he fell back onto Jake, ignoring the other boy's groan as he shoved him to the side. 

“Why didn’t anyone tell me? I would have come to the airport. Or had a warm meal ready.”

Jay waved his hand, dismissing your words. “We’re still stuffed. We ate before we left and again on the plane.” He patted his stomach. “I’m about to explode. 

Sunoo pointed at Heeseung. “He wanted to surprise you but you surprised us. How often have you been coming to the dorm?”

You shrugged, your face feeling warm. “A few times… a week.” You bit your bottom lip as they laughed. You could feel Heeseung’s chest rumble and you leaned back on him. You slightly shifted your hips and his nails dug into your skin. Your own breath hitched when you felt his bulge. 

“Tell me about the tour! How was it?” Heeseung almost groaned when you leaned forward, excited. He was losing it a bit. Here he was, back home and you were with him, and yet, he wasn’t in you. What was he doing? Why hadn’t he taken you to his room and fucked you yet? 

The rest of the members started talking, words spilling out of their mouth as you sat perched on his lap, listening carefully. They spoke over each other, excited to tell you all about the tour. 

Heeseung barely listened, focusing more on the heat of your body on his. He chimed in a few times but he was more interested in rubbing circles on your lower back, smirking to himself everytime you flexed your back. He had missed you so much, and all he wanted was to show you. He knew you wanted him just as bad, but your self control was always better than his. 

Slipping his hand under your shirt, he rubbed your back. At the feeling of his nails gently hovering over your skin, you felt goosebumps litter across your skin. It was getting harder to pay attention to Jake’s stories. You could feel heat traveling down your body, resting between your legs. You wanted him so badly. But you also wanted to spend some time with the rest of the members. You missed them too. 

Plus, you didn’t trust Heeseung right now. Knowing him, he’d want to fuck you but everyone was home. You had some decorum. So you ignored his light, teasing fingers on your skin. 

“When did you paint that?” Sunghoon asked, pointing to the large painting behind your head. “It’s beautiful.”

You grinned. “Thanks, Hoon. I just finished it today, actually. Figured I'd put it up before you guys got here.”

Heeseung wasn’t listening to the praises you were receiving. He would praise you later, rewarding you with everything he had. He had so much to thank you for. For waiting for him, for the food and the painting, for being his. If only you would give him all of your attention. 

Having enough, Heeseung gripped your hips tighter, lifting you off him as he stood. A tumblr of surprised noises left your mouth at the sudden movement and you turned your head to say something but your words got caught in your throat when you looked into his eyes. 

Wide and slightly dark, you knew what that meant. Stifling a laugh, you simply raised your eyebrow, slightly impressed by his self control. You were sure he would have jumped you earlier, but he held on. Almost for two hours. 

The members continued to talk; not paying any attention to the silent conversation you were having with Heeseung. They had long gotten used to it all. Plus, it was easier when they ignored it all. 

“Y/n,” Heeseung enunciated your name, tasting each letter on his tongue. You could have squeezed your thighs together at his tone alone, but you held back. “Will you come help me unpack? I’m a bit tired.”

Your eyes softened a bit at his words. Of course he was tired. You chose to ignore the enticing fruit his voice offered, giving him the benefit of the doubt. You simply nodded and followed him as he grabbed his suitcase, walking closely behind him as he led you to his room. 

Thank fuck he had his own room. Being the eldest had its perks and it helped that Jungwon only felt comfortable sleeping with someone else. He was so glad his bedroom was at the end, furthest away from the family room. 

Heeseung’s entire body felt like it was on fire. He had been thinking about you on the plane. Everything he’d like to do. From where he wanted to place his tongue to the food he’d make you. He kicked his door open, dropping the suitcase beside his door. 

You faced his bed before clapping your hands, turning to face him. “Okay, let me do it—” Heeseung cut you off by slamming his lips against yours as he pushed you into the door, a hand on your hip and face. Your surprised gasp was swallowed by him as he kissed you ferociously.  

The kiss was needy and hungry, but so were you. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you kissed him back deeply. He pushed himself further into you until pain seared in your back. The mixture of pain and pleasure made you stifle out a moan and Heeseung slipped his tongue into your mouth. Sucking on your tongue, he fitted his leg in between yours, his thigh rubbing your pussy. 

Pulling away, Heeseung began kissing down your neck, nibbling and sucking. Your head fell back as you bit your lip, trying to keep quiet. He bit down on your neck and your hands flew into his hair, massaging his scalp lightly with your nails. You feel him sigh against your neck and tighten his grip on your waist. 

Unconsciously, you begin grinding on his knee. Heeseung kisses up your neck before capturing your lips in another heated, messy kiss. Saliva coats your mouth as his hands travel from your waist to neck. He slightly presses down on your throat and you moan into his mouth. 

“Fuck, baby. You’re killing me.” Heeseung pants into your mouth, lips hovering your swollen, bruised ones. His own lips are swollen and his eyes are blown wide. He swears he could cum in his pants at the sight of you alone. Two months without being able to touch you–without being able to feel you–were hell. 

Your eyes are shut and your lips tremble at the feeling of his clothed thigh rubbing your pussy. After weeks of unsatisfying pleasure, this was too much for you. You were too sensitive. Heeseung smiled at the dazed look on your face and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before he took off his shirt.

At the movement, you opened your eyes. If Heeseung’s arm and leg were not keeping you upright, you would have collapsed at the sight of him. He looked so beautiful. Hair as wild as his eyes and his perfect chest on display. Gingerly, you lifted your hand and laid it flat on Heeseung’s chest, where his heart was. He watched you with half-lidded eyes and smiled at your frown. His heart was beating so fast. 

You looked up at him and he couldn’t help but press his lips gently against yours. You were so beautiful that it was too much for him. He watched you quietly as you lay your other hand on his right peck. He could only stand there, frozen, when you leaned forward and kissed his heart. His eyes shut when you began to litter soft, feather-like kisses across his chest. 

“I missed you so much, Hee.” You whispered against his skin. You kissed his neck, leaving open-mouth kisses. Your hand moved up his body until it reached the back of his neck. You pushed him downwards and bit his neck, smiling when he groaned. You kissed his Adam's apple before pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips. 

Heeseung opened his eyes and had to blink away the pure desire that clouded his mind. You stared at each other before he dropped his head, forehead resting against yours. “I missed you so much, Y/n. You don’t understand, I was going crazy. You were always on my mind and all I wanted to do was hear your laugh.” His words were quiet, spoken only for you. He didn’t miss the way you squeezed your thighs together at his words, his knee still in between you. 

“Kiss me,” you breathed. Heeseung smiled before he kissed you passionately, completely devouring you. As you kissed, he unbuttoned your cardigan, tossing it to the side. Quickly, he unclasped your bra before throwing it behind him. When his hands brushed your sensitive nipples, you pulled away from the kiss to release a shaky breath. Heeseung wasted no time in moving his head down to suck and bite your nipples, giving each one the proper love and attention he knew they deserved. His tongue circles and prods until you're shaking, unable to form coherent words. 

Slowly, Heeseung moves down your body, kissing and licking until he’s on his knees, looking up at you like you were his saviour and he was a man condemned to hell. Your knees buckled at the sight of him, messy and wild. 

“Let me taste you, baby.” He hooked his fingers on the waistband of your leggings and underwear before pulling them down. “I need to taste you so badly before I lose my mind.” 

You could only nod before moaning as Heeseung buried his face in between your thighs, nosing your clit. You let your head hit the door when you hear him inhale. You almost don’t catch his words when he mumbles into your pussy. 

“Fuck, you smell so good. ‘Gonna cum at the sight alone.” He looks up at you before rubbing your arousal all over your clit, earning moans and whimpers from you. He keeps eye contact with you before licking his hand clean. “You taste so good, baby.” 

He begins to leave wet, open mouth kisses to your thigh, alternating between biting and sucking at the soft flesh before he licks a trail of slick down your thigh up to your leaking hole. You buried your hands in his hair as he devoured you. 

Heeseung moans as he slides his tongue in. You arch your back at the feeling, biting your lip to prevent the scream that almost escaped you. His nose pokes at your swollen folds while his tongue works its way into you. He hums as he licks and swallows, the noise sending a shiver up your spine. 

Heeseung groans when you yank on his hair, his name quietly leaving your lips in rushed breaths. You tasted so fucking good, he couldn’t get enough. He sucked on your clit, tilting his head to make sure his tongue was reaching far into you. He shifted his thighs, trying to offer his cock some sort of relief.

Heeseung could have cummed as soon as you began rolling your hips forward, essentially fucking his face. You looked so fucked out, trying to reach your release against his bedroom door as all his members sat right outside. 

“So good,” he chanted. “Taste so good.” 

Groaning, his eyes fluttered shut as he lost himself in you; desperate for everything you could give him and more. He was slurping and sucking your pussy so loudly you wondered if everyone could hear you outside. At the thought, your hips jerked forward and you almost screamed as Heeseung’s face pressed into your pussy, his nose shoved deep within you. 

“Fuck, Hee,” you panted, pulling at his hair even harder. “I’m going to cum. Please–” 

He wasted no time in wrapping his lips around your clit as he sucked it into his mouth, eyes focused on you as your legs clamped around his head, nearly suffocating him. The building of pleasure snapped and you sobbed out his name, clenching your eyes shut.

It was all too much.

Your nerves were on fire as your vision went white but Heeseung continued to lick at you. The bottom half of his face was shiny and slick with your cum but he didn’t care. His tongue worked its way from your entrance all the way to your clit, needing to keep your orgasm going. 

Your body began to shake, knees weak as Heeseung kept lapping up all your juices. His tongue fucked your clit and you felt another build up before you shoved your fist into your mouth to muffle another scream.

“Hee, Hee, Hee. Please. Too much. Please.” You begged him, losing all feeling in your body as he sucked you dry. 

It wasn’t until you yanked his head away did he stop, face dripping with your click and pupils dilated. He sat there on his knees, staring up at you. You looked down at him, trying to remain upright. Your legs shook and tears fell from your eyes. 

Slowly, Heeseung stood. He licked his lips, trying to coat his tongue in your taste again. Nothing would ever taste as good as you did. None of the food he had on the tour could compare. You were addicting, sweet, and if he could, he’d only have you as his meal. 

You leaned back against the door, trying to catch your breath. Heeseung smiles at you and your knees buckle at the sight of your cum on his smiling face. He kisses you and your stomach twists at the taste of your cum on his tongue. It’s dirty and messy but so was he. 

He pulls away before he dips his fingers in your pussy. You whimper at the feeling and the loss when he sticks his fingers into his mouth, sucking as he stares at you. With a pop, he releases his fingers.

“You taste so fucking good.”

You can’t say anything and Heeseung grins at you before he tugs his own sweatpants off. You can only watch as his hard, swollen cock springs up and hits his stomach. Gosh, you had missed it. It was the prettiest cock you had ever seen. The small veins that trace up his length to his red, dripping tip had your mouth watering. 

Grinning, Heeseung slowly walks backwards until he reaches his bed. He sits down, spreading his arms as he stares at you, his cock leaking precum all over the floor. You can’t breathe. It was all too much. You couldn’t think and you couldn’t speak. All you wanted was his cock in you, but he seemed dead set on teasing you. 

“Walk to me, baby.” At your blank gaze, he laughed. “You can do it.” 

Slowly, with shaky legs, you put one foot in front of the other until you reached him. His hands immediately rested on your waist and he was eye level with your tits. Leaning forward, he sucked one nipple while palming the other. Your hands rested on his shoulders, needing support. Then he sucked the other nipple, biting down. You gasped, throwing your head back. 

“Such a good girl.” He kissed the space between your breasts. “Cleaning and cooking for us.” He licked your nipple before pushing you into him. He breathed you in. “You’re too good for me. 

You could feel your slick dripping down your leg. You squeezed Heeseung’s shoulder, eyes glistening. His own eyes softened as he rubbed your clit, his thumb drenched. 

“What is it, baby?” He raised an eyebrow. “What do you want?” Heeseung wanted to feel bad, but he couldn’t. Not when you looked like that. Not when you made him wait two hours before tasting you. 

“You,” your lips trembled. “Please, Hee. Need you. I missed you.”

Your words made Heeseung dizzy but he wanted to hear you say it. He needed to hear you say it. 

“Need what, Y/n? Be more specific, baby. Come on.” 

You moved closer and threw your legs on either side of him, sitting on his lap. You both hissed when your pussy grazed his cock. Dropping your head on his shoulder, you almost sobbed.

“Need your cock in me, Hee. Please. Need you to fuck me.”

Heeseung wrapped an arm around your waist as he turned, throwing you on his bed. You landed on his bed, eyes wide in surprise. Legs spread, Heeseung crawled in between your legs. His cock hurt. You dripped onto his sheets, more aroused than you had ever been. 

“I got you, baby.” He whispered, a love-struck smile on his face. “I hear you.” He leaned down, kissing you. He threaded your hands together as he pressed them down on his mattress. 

While drowning in the kiss, you felt his cock slowly rub against your entrance. You whined into his mouth as he coated his dick in your juices. He kissed you harshly as his cock poked your entrance. You held your breath when he pushed the head slowly inside, moaning against his mouth at the hardness of it. You felt yourself gushing around him, your pussy sucking him in. He moved his kisses to your neck, finding new places to mark you. He pushed his cock inside you slowly until he bottomed out, groaning at how tight you were.

“Fuck,” he shut his eyes. “You’re so fucking tight and yet you’re sucking me in. Missed my cock, baby? Did your pretty pussy miss my dick?” 

You could only moan in response. The feeling of being full after weeks had tears leaking from your eyes. None of your toys could compare to Heeseung, not with how big he was. 

Heeseung began slowly rocking his hips slowly, wanting to give you a moment to breathe. He could tell you were overstimulated, but he wasn’t done. When your eyes fluttered open, his pace fastened and deepened. “Never leave me again,” you mumbled. “Missed you too much.” At your words, Heeseung breathed hard and starting fucking you faster. His hand snaked down, rubbing quick circles on your clit.

Before you could cry out, he slammed his lips against yours, swallowing your moans. “Quiet, baby,” his words wobbled. “They’re all out there.” At the reminder, you squeezed his dick and he fucked you even harder. Your vision blurred before you mumbled out a series of incoherent words. 

“That’s it, baby. You’re taking me so well.”

Heeseung’s forehead was covered in sweat and his cock twitched. “Cum for me, Y/n.” He wasn’t going to last. He needed you to cum right now. He needed to cum in your pussy, needed to fill you up after months of emptiness.

You moaned as you squirted and came all over his cock. You lost all control of your body and felt your walls uncontrollably clench his cock so hard. Heeseung moaned loudly as he bit your neck, cumming inside of you. He emptied himself in you, the squelching sound became louder as your juices mixed and he fucked into you, filling you up. He was mesmerized by the sight of his dick in your cunt, disappearing. This is where he was always meant to be, in you and beside you. 

You babbled a string of words he assumed were his names as he pumped into you, lost in your cunt. He kept fucking you, unable to stop. You were crying, overstimulated and emotional. When the last drop of his cum dripped into your cunt, he slowed his pace. He pressed kisses to your face and neck until he stopped moving his hips. 

Heeseung collapsed on top of you, his head buried in your neck, cock still inside you. You wrapped your legs around his waist and arms around his neck. You couldn’t feel your pussy but Heeseung’s weight on top of you was welcomed. 

After a few minutes, he pressed a kiss to your neck and shifted to get up when you tightened your hold on him, shaking your head. He stopped moving and looked at you. “Baby?”

“No,” you mumbled. “Stay on me. Stay in me.”

Heeseung didn’t need to be told twice. Dropping his head, he laid there. You breathed him in, sweat covering your bodies. Heeseung closed his eyes, unable to stop himself from pressing kisses to your neck. 

You closed your eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Heeseung’s cock inside you. It’s where he belonged, and he had to make up for lost time. 

“Welcome home, baby,” you smiled. 

Heeseung grinned before biting your neck, licking up to your jaw. He pressed a kiss to your jaw, smiling softly at you, only love and adoration in his eyes. “I love you, Y/n.”

Your heart squeezed in your chest. “I love you, Hee.” 

a/n: hello! i finally finished my first heeseung fic! so excited. this is my first time writing proper smut so please bare with me. reblogs and comments are appreciated!!

[love-anddeepression]

Magic

Moon Boys x reader<3

summary: you were married to Jake and after the events of moonknight, the boys get to know of jake and of you. Steven adores you but Marc just sees you as a friend. Right?

A/N: okay the timeline is a bit wonky but here's what i thought while writing the fic. Jake dated you for a year and a half before putting a ring on it. And you've been married for three years. You met Steven and Marc a year ago and have been dating Steven for eight months. Marc became friends with you a month after meeting you. please comment and reblog if you liked it!

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort

@jake-g-lockley

Marc was a lot of things. Pig-headed, stubborn, horrible at communication, a fighter. But he wasn't arrogant He could admit it when he didn't know something.

But right now he knew one thing and one thing only, that Jake was a prime idiot.

Marc stayed in the background when Jake was fronting around you, most of the time. Not always, of course. He wasn't a perv and one to to intrude between a husband and a wife. But he knew you. So did Steven, and you knew them.

He'd considered you his friend. Maybe one of his best, just months after meeting you. You and him shared many a night after Jake's missions talking and watching movies, when your husband was knocked out. You made him fall in love with chai, something that knocked Steven's socks off and he'd taught you the basics of baseball so you weren't clueless when you watched baseball with him.

It wasn't always so nice.

"You're married?!"

"Yeah, what's your problem with that?" Jake had become defensive, he wouldn't let Marc or Steven breathe a single ill word towards you.

"No, it's no problem at all, pal." Marc seethed, outraged, "except for the fact that I was married to Layla! God what if she almost say you when we were married? No wonder it ended!"

"Fuck off, man. You know full well why your marriage didn't work out with Layla. And unlike her, I told my lady fucking everything. She knows everything, from the cave to the sarcophagus. So she knew what to do and what to be careful of, including you. So don't blame my marriage for the reason yours didn't work out."

This was when Steven had interjected, he was unsurprisingly on Jake's side.

"He's right, Marc. If his wife knows everything then you can't blame him, and it's honestly rather mean and unfair of you to be angry at someone you haven't even met."

It took a few hours for Marc to calm down, and actually, apologise to Jake.

Hesitantly, Jake offered, "Y'know, if you want you can meet her. She practically knows everything about you and uh, Steven's most probably seen her around. She goes to the museum every week."

"Wait a minute! That lady with the Van Gogh tote bag?"

"Yup."

"Oh wow! She's really sweet, and beautiful! Hell, mate. You scored."

Jake had to smile at that, he knew he scored with you. For the longest time he felt like you were too good for him and that someone as kind, clever, intelligent and beautiful as you shouldn't have had to settle for someone like him. But you'd kiss away every ill thought he had about himself and reassure him. Communication was a very, very vital and important part of the relationship and you had helped him learn that it wasn't selfish to voice his thoughts. Especially because he put everyone's needs before his for so long.

"I know, man."

Steven had readily agreed to front and meet you, and Marc was okay with being co-conscious during the interaction as well. So on one fine day, Jake had brought them to the house he considered his home. He worked to contribute to it's rent, and buy things for it and for you. It was home, after all. You were his home.

Marc didn't know what to expect but when Jake had stepped in and hung his jacket on the stand and taken his shoes off, footsteps could be heard running from the main bedroom and he saw you running straight into Jake's arms. Jake laughed wildly, picking you up and twirling you around, much to your delight as you kissed the life out of him.

When he put you down, he could get a clear glimpse of you. Your hair was messy and your t-shirt was rumpled. And when he saw you smile he knew why Jake had fallen in love with you. Why Steven thought you were beautiful and sweet. Verything about you screamed, home.

Your greeting to Jake threw both the boys off, "Who the fuck are you?"

Jake smirked, "The fuck you mean, ma?"

"I mean, who." you poked him once, "are." twice, "you?" thrice and Jake started giggling. Fucking giggling like some little schoolgirl. You laughed too, and hugged him tight.

"Hey, baby." he kissed your forehead and you smiled.

"Hi." you kissed his nose.

"I have two guys who'd like to meet you."he raised his eyebrows.

Your jaw dropped a little, "For real? Wait, you're being serious, you're not screwing with me?"

"Why would I screw with you, when I could just screw you?"

The men in his head and you all let out a simultaneous groan.

Steven met you first, and it went swell, you'd both bonded over history and literature. And a love for Taylor Swift. But that was a secret. You liked him a lot and he positively adored you.

Marc, on the other hand, was much more closed off, he'd be polite, but he'd be curt as well. A combination you didn't know was possible.

After a few weeks of trying to bond with him, resulting in almost a small meltdown. It had taken Jake being knocked out after a mission and being too tired to eat to actually get him to talk to you over a meal.

It was one of the best things he'd eaten in his goddamn life and the groan he'd let out after the first bite brought a laugh out of you.

So yes, Marc would consider you one of his best friends. Steven and you had started going out with each other a few months ago and it was going so well.

But not Marc.

Because he didn't like you like that.

Of course not, you were his friend.

You were his friend who made him laugh because you had the same dark sense of humour. You hugged him when he needed one but was too uptight to ask you. You, who googled the Cubs and learnt everything you could about them just so you could talk to him as well, the way you talked to Steven about Jane Austen and the Indus Valley.

He didn't know when it became something more to him.

And he didn't see how you'd look him at him when he laughed, or when he was focused on the TV, or when he made you tea the way you liked it, Jake had taught him how to do that.

No, to him, you were just his best friend.

And you were currently crying your eyes out because Jake and you had gotten into a huge fight. He'd missed your anniversary because of a mission and he was working with Hathor's avatar. He failed to mention the part where he was forced to pretend they were a thing to prevent being caught and you'd caught him smelling of her perfume and gotten rightfully furious.

Not because of her, but because he didn't tell you that it had been happening for a few days. That the week he'd spent away from you, he'd had to pretend he was someone else's and he was too scared to tell you. That's why you were mad, because you thought he didn't trust you.

You'd raised your voice as he turned his back on you and he turned around, face contorted in rage. Steven tried calming him down as he stalked over to you. You stood your ground, Jake would never lay a hand on you. You knew that. But it was what he said, that broke you.

"You're being a fucking nuisance. Instead of trying to understand, you're being more of a burden by finding shit to get mad at. Grow the fuck up."

That prime ass had the audacity to call you a burden. A nuisance.

And then he had the fucking nerve to leave and complete his mission and give control to Marc. Steven had chewed the fuck out of him and Marc would have loved to as well, but he needed to see you. See if you were okay.

As soon as he stepped in, he saw you on the sofa, rapidly wiping your tears away. You sagged again when you knew it was him. Somehow you always knew.

He furrowed his eyebrows at your disheveled state. Your eyes were swollen and wet with tears and you were breathing very heavily and in quick spurts.

"What do you need?" Marc asked you, sitting down beside you.

"C-can I have" you coughed, "a hug, Marc?" you said in a small voice, looking away.

Marc immediately moved to hug you close. Shushing you when you began to cry again.

What hurt was that he knew, and Jake knew, and Steven knew that you hated being a burden or an inconvenience to anyone. And today, the one man you trusted the most in this world had made you feel like that. And he couldn't even apologize.

'Jake you fucking idiot.' he rocked you a little, 'you better come out and fix this. she may be our friend but this is because of you, fix this.'

Jake remained silent in the reflection of the mirror next to the door. He looked wrecked at seeing you sob, and tears were falling down his own eyes.

'Mate.' Steven spoke up, he sounded mad, 'You made our girl cry. Stop being a fucking coward and fix this!'

When he was met with silence, Steven seethed, 'Marc, gimme the body.'

You knew exactly when it was Steven hugging you, and you kissed his cheek and breathed him in.

"Oh, love." he tried to comfort you, "I'm sorry. You're not a burden, I promise you." he kissed your forehead.

"I know that, Steven. I know I'm not a burden to you. I'm scared I'm becoming one to him. He doesn't even want to look at me!" you sniffed.

Steven glared at Jake in the mirror, who was wiping away his own tears.

Steven and Marc knew why Jake was so worked up. They knew that whoever Jake and Hathor's avatar was after called their bluff. They knew that those people had found the woman's partner and Jake was terrified for you and he couldn't even tell you because he never, ever wanted to be the reason for any feeling you had that wasn't bliss, happiness, content, or pleasure. And because he was sure he could find those assholes and beat the living shit out of them for even thinking of harming you.

But it wasn't their place to tell you, that much was apparent. Jake dug his grave, and then jumped into it. He had to crawl out of it on his own now.

"I just want to be someone he's happy to be with." you whisper and that's when Jake straightened up, heartbroken.

"Give me the body, hermano."

"All yours."

Only Jake scrunched the back of your shirts when he hugged you and you moved to hug him tightly as he whispered apologies in your ear.

"Baby, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry I made you feel like you were a burden and that I was anything but fucking delighted to be with you." he kissed your nose and then told you everything. Looking away because he was scared.

"I didn't tell you at first because I didn't want to just say that I had to pretend I was dating someone else and then fuck off for a week. I made a mistake in assuming that'd you get mad and it's because if I was in your place, I would be. But you're stronger than me, tesoro, and I failed to see that and I'm so sorry."

"Baby, I forgive you." you replied and he breathed out a sigh of relief, "But please, don't keep stuff like this in, okay? You can trust me, you know that."

He nodded fiercely and then he kissed you. Noses nudging and lips parting as he breathed you in like you were his lifeline, and he yours. He cupped your face and held you tight against him and when he pulled away you smiled at him, your eyes shining.

Steven fronted again with a little smile and you kissed him lovingly with a whispered 'i love you'. He just winked at you and kissed the back of your hand and then your forehead again before Jake took back control and carried you to the bed, kissing you deeply all the way.

----

Marc was fine, no he just needed a glass of water. He'd carefully rolled off the bed, thankful that he was at least wearing sweatpants and padded to the kitchen.

He should have known that you were a light sleeper.

"Marc." you began, your voice raspy.

He hummed in reply and held out his glass to you. You accepted it and drank your fill, giving it back to him.

After a few more moments of silence, you spoke up, "I thanked Steven for comforting me. But I didn't thank you." you cleared your throat, "Thank you, Marc." you said, sincerely, "You're one of my best friends."

Marc smiled at you. Actually smiled. And you smiled back and kept going, "And Jake and Steven know this and are okay with it so I-"

"You don't have to thank me, honey." he patted your shoulder, trying to conceal his tears as he looked away because god he was dumb. Dumb enough to realize now, that he loved you, "I'm glad I'm your friend."

To him, you were everything. You were sunrays and moonbeams and everything that he believed was magical as a boy. Everything he stopped believing in as he grew up. The first time you made him laugh and joined him he felt sure that magic existed after all, because what else could you be?

He tried walking past you but you held his hand and he froze, tears streaming down his cheeks.

You walked over to him and held his face in your hands. His eyes shut as you wipe away his tears. And he whimpered as you kissed his forehead.

"Marc. Open your eyes and look at me." you said softly.

He was terrified. That you'd seen past his mask and were going to let him down gently. Because to you, what could he be? Certainly nothing more than a friend.

"Sweetheart. Please."

When his eyes finally opened, they met yours.

"Marc. I fucking love you." you confessed and he let out a sob. Pulling you into a tight hug.

"I love you. God I love you so much, Sweetheart." he says into your hair, kissing all over your face, but not your lips.

"Can I kiss you?" you asked him, looking at him with those beautiful eyes of yours.

He nods and your hands travel to his locks and pull them lightly as you bring your lips to his own. Humming sweetly as he wraps his arm around you and licks into you.

Yes, he reasons yet again as you hold his face in your hands and smile at him, magic does exist. And it's in his arms. He loves it and so do the men in his head who cheer for him, albeit sleepily, looking at you lovingly.

And they'd never let you go.

[lifeonmarz-blog]

“IT GIRL” natal alignments

an attractive young woman who is perceived to have both sex appeal and a personality that is especially engaging.

Moon/Venus The emotional world is expressed in a pleasing way. You understand what a person needs without them having to communicate it with you. Very expressive with love nature your ok with expressing it to the world.

Mercury/Venus *Major Indicator* This is the most common aspect with popular attractive women. People relate to you through the way you communicate. They love to hear you talk even if it’s about basic things. Watching your social media just to see what your up too. This placement gives you a sexy rememberable voice.

Sun 10th Your personality is easier to read your view points may be more agreeable to the mass so it’s easier to create relationships. You enjoy being likable and agreeable. You know how to present yourself in a way that will get the best desired results. It may also be very easy for you to get jobs people may feel like they know you even if they don’t.

Sun/Asc loves being the center of attention and people enjoy giving you the attention. This aspect makes a person come across as very interesting with a busy life. People enjoy being around you because of your childlike bubblyness that just expresses whatever you want when you want. Others feel more confident being around you because of the confidence you exude.

Sun/pluto polarizing, magnetic and alluring is how I would describe this. Others have a curiosity about you. You may keep a lot of your thoughts and personal life to yourself and people pay attention to your life closing because they want to learn things about you. Everyone listens when you speak because you probably stay to yourself and don’t contribute in group conversations as much as others. The real appeal here comes from people not being able to have access to you.

Sun/neptune giving hope to the hopeless. You see the bright side to anything and make for a great person to share with. You listen and give the best advice you can. Your mind is very creative and others love when you share your visions with them. You can provide many creative solutions to problems.

Asc in libra you enjoy a simple life living the lap of luxury you prefer to keep a light hearted nature. You’re like a spa in human form.

Asc in Sagittarius you make the plans for your friend group because you know how to create the fun. Others love your spontaneity and ability to make friends with anyone. You have the gift of gab and it’s very charming.

Asc in Aquarius you’re really funny in a random who thinks of that kind of way. You don’t mind bluntly telling the truth and you shock others by doing that. People view you as someone that doesn’t mind sharing the information you know. You’re willing to try anything once and it’s inspiring.

Asc in Pisces you can adapt to any environment. You know how to connect with many types of people so you attract a lot of opportunities to you. The way you express your emotions has an addictive quality about it. Attracting people with your rawness in emotion or expressing emotions in a creative way. You know what to say to soften anger in others.

Moon in cancer your caring nature is easily felt. People feel at home around you. You know how to make others feel welcomed. You don’t put much pressure on others on how to behave and that allows them to drop their guard with you and just be.

Moon in Virgo reliability is a virtue you have. Reliability builds the foundation to long lasting relationships because trust is so important. You hold support to a high regard and that allows you to build sturdy relationships and that’s make people want to offer you the same support in return.

Moon in Capricorn being blunt and bout your business is what wins people over. Its refreshing to hear someone speak their mind so freely. You accomplish goals you never speak on and people are amazed when they see what you've been creating behind closed doors. This placement also gives clean girl aesthetic. Also you probably love black clothing.

Moon in Pisces Dreamy ofc, with a quirky sense of humor. You don't mind laughing at yourself so its easy for people to let their guard down around you. You look approachable and usually are. There is so many ideas in your head and people love to hear them. Your very self motivated and it rubs off on the people around you. Because you don't have ulterior motives and its easy to see in you, its very easy for you to make friends quickly.

Venus in 9th Redefining what love looks like, you may be unconventional in expressing the way you love but it cant be denied that you do love. People admire the way you can blend in with many different groups. When you travel people can wonder how you got to have certain experiences in a country you just got to.

Venus 10th You meet traditional beauty standards. Being conventionally attractive brings in attention from a mass amount of people. People love the way you dress and copy your outfits. This is the girl that is saved in a lot of Pinterest boards.

Venus in 11th Popularity comes to you easily. People see you and want to be your friend. Venus hear gives you the gift of gab. Your voice is disincentive and draws people in. You come across friendly and bubbly full of energy and fun.

Venus in 12th Mystery is how you captivate. People unconsciously try to get your love and attention. Your personal life is private and people feel like you live a interesting secret life, rather that's true or not its assumed and they want to get close to you because they see not a lot of people can. They want to know what happens in your world.

How many did you have?

[cherienymphe]

Basic Training XVI (Peter Parker x Reader)

Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, mentions of MURDER, violence, kidnapping, captivity, public sex, degradation, forced pregnancy, forced marriage, stockholm syndrome, ptsd, housewife kink, cop!Peter

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies​ | divider by @whimsicalrogers

➥ series masterlist

summary: A pit stop during a road trip ends tragically when a small town cop sets his sights on you. You’re the newest addition in a long standing fucked up family tradition.

~

You knelt beside Peter with your hands in your lap, staring down at them as the conversation flowed around you. While you’d never had much to contribute to the conversation before, you still felt awful about being purposely excluded. Even more so because your humiliation was on full display for the whole house to see.

“It’s disappointing to see another empty chair at the table.”

Steve’s voice wasn’t very loud amongst the other low conversations, but it carried, nonetheless. You didn’t need to look up to know that his gaze was on you. You could feel it. It was then that you felt a gentle touch on the top of your head, fingers trailing down to rest just under your chin.

“Yeah,” you heard Peter sigh. “…but she knows what she’s being punished for.”

You did.

The night you told Peter that Nat had mentioned a pregnancy scare, he hadn’t said much to you for the rest of the evening. You could count the number of times Peter had been really mad with you, and his visible anger hadn’t done much for your sleep. You hadn’t been able to deny the pang in your chest when he laid down for bed without sparing you a glance.

You had almost wished you could take it back.

…but if it would prevent Nat from being on the end of whatever punishment Bucky saw fit for her, then you would accept however Peter retaliated. You weren’t being tied to some tree nor walking around with some collar on your neck, but it was no less embarrassing to sit at Peter’s feet on your knees while the rest of the household ate dinner.

Occasionally, Peter’s hand would come down to give you something to eat, and with starving as the only other option, you had no choice but to open your mouth and accept.

“I’m very disappointed in you,” he’d said just hours earlier, gazing at you with a small shake of his head. “…and to think this is something you knew before she even left. What if she was pregnant and has lost the baby? Do you have any idea what that will do to Bucky?”

You hadn’t had the heart nor courage to tell Peter that you didn’t care about Bucky. You didn’t care about him, at all. Your priority had been Nat and keeping quiet on something she herself hadn’t even known what to do with. That was then though, and while your first priority was still Nat, now you only wanted her out of harm’s way in whatever way you could achieve that. Even if it meant disappointing Peter and making Bucky aware of her possible delicate condition.

You knew that with Steve over his shoulder, Bucky was liable to do unspeakable harm to Nat. It didn’t matter that he’d grown up with her and therefore shared a deeper history than any other couple in the house. In fact, you’d wager that those circumstances only made him angrier, made him feel more betrayed. You didn’t count on Bucky being fair, on the punishment fitting the crime. The dark-haired man was angry and hurt—something you’d never understand—and he seemed the type to take it out on her.

You were pulled from your thoughts by the sight of a fork in front of your face, and lock clockwork, you leaned in to eat what Peter offered. Your embarrassment lessened as you thought of the humiliating things the other wives probably had to go through. One incident stood out amongst the rest, and as you glanced up, your eyes met a familiar brown pair. She threw you a brief sympathetic look, something in her eyes telling you that it was okay, and you looked back down.

You tried to remind yourself that if your husband had been literally anyone else, you’d be dealing with far worse. Even Thor—who seemed a gentle giant most times—had forced Jane to hang the clothes to dry while completely naked once. At least, that was what Jane had said, and despite how long ago it was, you’d been able to see that she was still hurt about it. You wondered if that contributed to how “well behaved” she was for the blond. You wondered if she just didn’t want to experience that hurt again, and that was something you could understand.

When dinner was over, instead of following behind the rest of the men, Peter remained seated. You could feel his gaze on you, and you kept your own on your lap as you heard him stand. He stood there for what felt like a long time while the other women cleared the table. When the both of you were alone again, he quietly told you to stand and follow him.

Peter hadn’t said all that much to you since that day, and you didn’t know what you were walking into.

You kept your gaze on the back of his head while you followed him, tracing the brown strands with your eyes. There was a part of you that could acknowledge Peter’s disappointment, even understand the twisted logic in some sick way, but another part of you didn’t feel bad, at all. Whether or not Nat was pregnant was not something Peter needed to know. It simply wasn’t for him to know. It hadn’t even been for you to know until Nat decided it so, and it equally hadn’t been for you to tell.

…and you weren’t…until Steve and Bucky were itching to hurt her in ways she just didn’t deserve.

Even now, you wondered if you did the right thing. Only time would really tell, but you felt so…helpless. That night, you’d felt helpless, but it was a different kind of helpless. It was a helplessness that came about of your own accord. You could have very well told Peter you saw her. You could have even ran downstairs yourself to go after her, but you hadn’t. You’d remained quiet, and the opportunity to do anything to help or hinder the situation had passed you by.

You had left the fate of everyone in the house—including you—in her hands. Your future had depended on whether or not Nat was caught or not, both yours and Peters. You felt like something of a coward to leave that in Nat’s hands. Although, you guessed that your decision had been made when you simply…let her go.

You were frowning when Peter spoke to you again.

“You do understand why you’re being punished…don’t you…?”

You licked your lips, starting to nod before thinking better of it, remembering that Peter preferred you use your voice.

“Yes,” you told him.

“Tell me,” Peter urged, sitting down on the bed.

Your eyes met his, and like they had been for days, they gleamed with a mixture of confusion and disappointment.

“It’s important that Bucky knows everything pertaining to Nat’s health…and I helped her hide that from him.”

You repeated the words he’d said to you even though you didn’t quite believe them yourself.

Peter reached for you with a small sigh, and you slowly reached for his hand in return, moving closer. When his fingers threaded with yours, he pulled you to stand in between his knees, taking your other hand too. He looked at you with a look you couldn’t name, pink lips pressed together as he studied your face.

“If you were pregnant…surely you’d understand why I’d need to know that,” he continued before you could say anything. “Even if you just thought you were pregnant…that’s important, Y/N.”

“I know,” you whispered.

“Now…now I have to find a way to bring this up to him. I did make a promise, after all,” he said to you, reminding you of your plea not to tell Bucky you told him.

Peter pulled on your hands, forcing you to sit in his lap. One of his hands came to rest on your waist, and you held his gaze as he kneaded his hand into your side.

“…and you wouldn’t want me to break my promise…would you?”

Peter tilted his head at that, and you shakily shook your head.

If Bucky knew you knew…you shuddered to think of what would happen. Peter reached up to cup your face, gently brushing his thumb over your skin. It disgusted you to think that not even thirty minutes ago, he had you kneeling at his side and eating whatever he fed you like a dog…and now… Now, you were sitting in his lap, reaching up to cover his own hand as it rested on your face.

Was this how any of the others felt?

Did Margaret feel that conflicted mix of anger and sadness and admiration whenever she gazed at Steve? Did she remember the ways in which he’d humiliate her as he kissed her? Did Pepper think of Tony leading her around the house like a pet when he smiled at her? You wondered what Laura thought about when Clint hugged her and if it was that time she was forced to keep him warm in her mouth at the dinner table?

“I was very proud of you tonight,” Peter eventually told you. “You were so well behaved and did exactly as I told you.”

Peter pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth, lingering there.

“Only four more days to go.”

You were outside in the garden when you first saw it.

Laura and Jane were planting some garlic with you when you saw Steve and Bucky talking and walking around the house. They were coming from the front yard, presumably from work seeing as they were still in their uniforms, and Steve had it in his hand. A whip­—long and braided and dark brown. By the looks of it, you could tell it was real leather, and even in Steve’s grasp, it looked big…and torturous.

The sight of it made your stomach turn, and you had the brief thought that you were going to be sick…until you actually were sick.

“Oh my God!”

Both Laura and Jane’s voices caught their attention, and the poor garlic bulbs you’d had every intention of planting were suddenly covered in what you ate that morning. Your legs were unsteady as both women hurried to pull you to your feet. Both men were nearing you, something crossing their faces that looked oddly like concern.

It was strange.

You’d seen something like that on Bucky’s face before, notably that night when you ran into him outside the basement door. There was a hurt and crestfallen look there that told you as mad as he was at Nat, something in him hated the idea of punishing her more. Steve, however… You had never seen anything remotely resembling unease before, and it was then that you were reminded of something Peter had said to you once.

“You’re family, Y/N,” Peter had whispered one night. “Steve may be hard on you, and it may seem like he’s out to get you, but he just wants you to fall in line and be part of the family.”

Laura was wiping your mouth with a napkin she kept in her apron.

“Are you alright? Did you eat something bad?”

No.

You didn’t know how to tell her that the sight of that whip in Steve’s hand—the whip that was still in Steve’s hand—had disturbed you so badly you couldn’t even keep your food down. You could feel pressure behind your eyes, a burning sensation, and you wanted to scream. On top of throwing up on yourself like some child, you were now on the verge of crying too.

“Y/N…”

You weren’t on the verge of anything. You were crying…and badly too. You couldn’t stop shaking, covering your face with your hands as you fought to keep standing. Laura’s hands were on you as she guided you into the house, and your knees buckled. You would have collapsed if it weren’t for familiar arms catching you, and you clung to him instantly.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me, Y/N,” he softly urged, one hand on your head and the other on the small of your back. “What happened?”

He was addressing someone else, now, and you didn’t hear what they told him. You only shook your head, unable to get the words out. You wanted to be sick again, and you pressed a hand to your mouth. Peter took that as a sign, hurrying to get you up the stairs.

He softly called your name again as soon as you made it into the room, and you finally did collapse.

“Is that what he’s going to do to her?” you asked him, tearfully looking up at Peter as he looked down at you in confusion. “Whip her?”

Realization bled into Peter’s eyes, and you watched his shoulders fall.

“Like…like some animal that needs to be broken into submission? …and for what? Because she ran?”

You swallowed down something else that threatened to come up, and Peter knelt down with you. You were fighting to keep it together, but your chest felt so tight, and your hands wouldn’t stop shaking. The mere thought of Nat being on the other end of that almost made you sick again, and the room spun just a bit.

“Woah, woah, hey,” Peter cooed, wrapping his arms around you and leaning you back into him.

You descended into another fit of sobs, turning your face into Peter’s shoulder, and he rocked you. You reached up to grip the arm around your chest, holding onto him. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t right, but what else could you possibly say that would stop this?

“Did you talk to Bucky…?” you finally choked out.

You both felt and heard Peter sigh.

“Not yet,” he murmured. “Look…Y/N…”

Peter paused, rubbing your arm and resting his chin on the top of your head.

“I know you want to protect Nat…want to stop this from happening to her, but she did a bad thing.”

You started to shake your head, but Peter continued.

“She has to be punished, made an example of. Hell…we still need to figure out how she escaped.”

Those words gave you pause, and you swallowed.

“She won’t say a thing about how she got out of the house with any of us none the wiser. How she snuck past all of us, Bucky especially,” he murmured, more to himself than you. “She could do it again. Any of you could try to imitate her…and we can’t have that.”

Peter pulled away a bit, looking at you as you looked at him.

“I would lose my mind if you escaped,” he told you. “…and I mean that.”

He took your face into his hands.

“You don’t understand what you mean to me…all I’ve done to keep you by my side,” he gently said. “All I would do to have you again if you ever did what she did.”

You believed him.

You didn’t doubt him for a moment, and that in itself didn’t scare you. It was the fact that you didn’t see yourself ever doing what Nat did, never even trying, and that thought was equally imprisoning as it was freeing.

You stared into the darkness with your arms wrapped around your knees. The stair beneath your bottom didn’t even feel that hard to you anymore, long growing numb to the feel. It was so hard to sleep lately, so tonight you’d just given up. Even with Peter at your side, you hadn’t been able to find lethargic bliss, too plagued with thoughts of Nat.

The memory of that whip in Steve’s hand made you grow so cold, like something was being sucked out of you. You had imagined the worst for her, but actually seeing it was another thing entirely. As much as Bucky scared you, you couldn’t really picture him doing that to her. Even for him, it seemed wrong, but then again, it was hard to tell what Bucky was actually feeling and what he wanted.

He kidnapped the girl he grew up with and he was the one to feel betrayed when she ran.

You wondered if a day would come where you’d sleep soundly again. Maybe when you knew for sure that Nat was going to be okay? You wondered if you’d even fret this much if you hadn’t seen her that night. You liked to think that you would, but you couldn’t deny that your guilt and fear over the whole situation played a huge part.

Rubbing your forehead, you pushed yourself to your feet.

When you turned around, the imposing figure at the top of the stairs almost made you fall back. You let out a gasp, taking a stumbling step back and almost falling in the process. The sound of your heartbeat was loud in your ear, and even before he turned the light on, you knew who it was.

Steve was as scary as he always was, but even more so now with the memory of him holding the whip that was most likely intended for Nat. It was crazy to think that even in the middle of the night, a time of day that should be for the most relaxed version of oneself, he still looked like a strict leader just itching to hand out a punishment.

“You should be in bed.”

You swallowed as he looked down his nose at you, lips trembling.

“I…I couldn’t sleep. I have trouble sleeping, sometimes,” you forced out, truthful.

The blond didn’t reply right away at that, simply raising an eyebrow at you as he studied you.

“Is that so…”

It came out more like a statement than a question, and you frowned.

“Since when?” he wondered, and you realized this was probably the longest you’d ever talked to Steve and definitely one on one.

“Since…since I got here, I guess,” you whispered with a frown.

He sniffed, looking past you for a few moments before meeting your eyes again. They narrowed at you, and for the life of you, you couldn’t place the look in them.

“You spend most of your nights awake? Sitting on the stairs? Hmm?”

“No,” you hurried to say. “No, this is a first. I guess I didn’t want to wake up Peter.”

There was a brief pause, and the silence was so loud.

“Is that okay…?”

You tried to keep your voice even, but you supposed you couldn’t cover the mocking tone well. It was hard to keep up with what was allowed with Steve, and it wasn’t like the other night when you were trying to bring Nat some food. You’d just been sitting on the stairs. What rule was there against that?

Steve stared at you for what felt like a long time before suddenly throwing you a tense smile. It looked fake, plastic even.

“Of course,” he almost sang as if it were obvious. “You’re family, now, and this is your house too.”

His tone, like yours had been, sounded almost mocking, and you didn’t like it. Unable to continue engaging in conversation with the blond without wanting to hurl, you moved to make your way back to your room. Steve’s gaze remained on you the entire time, and it was only when you were past him did he speak again.

“I never realized what a night owl you were…”

You slowed to a pause, looking over your shoulder at him, but his back was still to you as he stared ahead.

“You probably see all sorts of things from your perch.”

Your chest grew tight at that, and you stumbled back to your room without another response.

Peter seemed to reach for you on autopilot, pulling you into his arms and holding you close even in his sleep. You held onto him too, tears kissing your eyes as you forced your heart to stop racing. You pressed your face into his chest, thoughts going a mile a minute.

You hadn’t liked Steve’s words nor his tone, and you wondered…

Did he know? He couldn’t know, but his dubious tone and hidden meanings in his words couldn’t mean anything else. Unless he only suspected, and even then, that did little to reassure you. You weren’t good with lies, poker faces. As it were, it was taking everything in you to keep lying to Peter, and the way you felt about Peter was nothing at all how you felt about Steve.

It was taking all you had to lie to the man whose face you looked forward to seeing every day. You couldn’t even pretend to imagine you’d be good at lying to Steve. The thought made you sit up some, gazing at Peter’s face as he slept. You thought about your conversation earlier and what he’d done for you, the feeling in your chest when he told you he’d talked to Bucky.

“I just mentioned to him he might want to have Bruce come and look over her first before…”

He had trailed off after answering you when you asked him what he told him, quieting at the look on your face at the reminder of what was in store for her.

“They’ve been trying, you know, and I just reminded Bucky that he’d never forgive himself if he did anything that could take away something he didn’t even know he had.”

Your worry hadn’t disappeared completely, but it had definitely lessened, causing you to hug Peter. He had hugged you back, but you’d been more concerned with pressing kisses to his face. Even if Nat turned out to not be pregnant, it would put off her punishment for a bit at the least.

Sometimes you wondered why Peter did anything for you. You supposed it was equally for his benefit, to make you more susceptible to him, and you couldn’t deny that there was merit to it. Did it really matter the reasons behind anything he did to make you happy? As long as it made you happy, right…?

You leaned over, pressing your lips to his cheek, silently thanking him. You grazed your fingers over his own, listening to the sound of his breathing, and you kissed his cheek again before sliding out of bed. You moved to stand at the window, feeling very reminiscent of that night as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

You knew that you needed to get up early, and that you’d probably regret having such a late night in the morning, but you saw no value in trying to force something that would not come. Like the night Nat ran, you stared out of the window, looking over the yard...

…and just like that night, movement caught your eye.

The figure was unmistakable, his hands on his hips as he stood in the backyard, gazing around. You didn’t know why he was out there, especially at this time of night, and you frowned as you watched him. The sight of Steve would always serve to do the opposite of calming you down, so you were just about to turn away when he suddenly turned instead. Steve’s eyes met yours from so far below, and you could tell by the look on his face that he could see you.

You could also tell by the look on his face…that this did not surprise him.

His expression was even as he stared up at you, and you blinked, a slow frown forming between your brows. You didn’t understand why he was out there nor why he was preoccupied with looking up at your window, but the longer he stared, the more he seemed to find whatever he was looking for, frowning at you before you made the choice to turn away completely.

The next morning was as normal as any other.

For some reason, you hadn’t expected that. It had taken you forever to fall asleep, doubly so when coupled with the memory of Steve staring you down both on the stairs and through the window. You helped Margaret make Egg’s Benedict before getting started on a key lime pie she wanted to have ready by dinnertime. She brought little Sarah around for a bit, something you were grateful for.

“I know what they think,” she whispered as you shook the girl’s hand playfully. “What they say…”

You glanced up at her at that, and she sent you a sad smile.

“You would never hurt any of them,” she assured you. “You just need more time to adjust, that’s all.”

Knowing that Margaret trusted you around her child despite what Steve thought made your chest feel warm, and you thanked her. You often wondered about your own future child, and you would be lying if you said you didn’t worry for them. After all, if Steve and the others were worried about you around the other children, what could you possibly expect with your own?

You helped Christine in the garden, feeling much better than the other day. You felt that had more to do with the lack of a whip in your line of sight than anything. Peter was gone most of the day, at work, and when he finally returned home, it was almost time for dinner.

“What were you two planting? You smell wonderful,” Peter mused, watching you as you helped him undress.

“Sweet Pea,” you replied, unhooking his belt. “Pepper wanted some on the side of the house.”

You felt Peter press his face to your hair, deeply inhaling with a hum that fell over you like a warm blanket. When Peter kissed you, you were unsurprised when it didn’t remain just that, allowing him to pull you into the bathtub with him. Much wasn’t said between you, more preoccupied with the feel of his lips on yours and his hands on your waist.

It was a wonder neither of you were late to the dinner table.

Despite your interactions with Steve the previous night, dinner remained unproblematic. In fact, the blond was much more concerned with his wife whose forehead he kept touching. Truthfully, you didn’t quite know what you’d expected. Perhaps your disastrous birthday was still fresh in your mind, no stranger to Steve’s lack of reluctance to cause a scene.

You left dinner without a care, and you managed to go to bed without a care.

It was late in the night, however, when the horror you expected finally arrived.

It was the sound of yelling that disturbed you, the height of sound something you’d only heard the morning Nat went missing. You remained in bed in confusion—and slight annoyance—as you blearily stared at the ceiling. Sleep was still just within reach, and despite the disturbance, you were determined to find it once again.

That wasn’t possible though.

“Let me talk to her!”

It was Peter’s voice, the sound of it making your eyes fly open. You slowly sat up, never knowing Peter for one to raise his voice under any circumstances. There were a lot of voices mingling together from below, and they all quickly drowned his out. You slowly blinked as you stared at the door…

…and an uneasy feeling started to stir deep in your gut.

It only just occurred to you that if he was downstairs, then he wasn’t asleep next to you. You reached over and slid your hand along his side of the bed. It was cool to the touch, telling you he’d been gone for quite some time, and your frown deepened. What was going on?

Just as you thought that, you heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and you stared at the door in dread. They were nearing your room, the sound of them echoing in the hallway, and for some reason, you expected Steve’s imposing frame to be on the other side of the door. It wasn’t, but you still felt no relief at the familiar sight of Peter.

You rubbed your eye as your gaze met his, the dark-haired man standing in the doorway.

“Peter…”

It was hard to pinpoint the look on his face, only that it was strained and pinched. You watched the way his jaw ticked, chest heaving slightly, and when your gaze lowered, it landed on his tightening grip on the doorknob. You said his name again, growing even more nervous the longer he didn’t speak.

“Peter.”

That wasn’t your voice.

Your lips parted at the sound of Steve’s stern voice coming from over Peter’s shoulder, and you guessed that he was somewhere in between the door and the stairs, somewhere in the hallway where you couldn’t see him. At the sound of the other man’s voice, Peter seemed to visibly tense. He stood there for a few more seconds before finally stepping into the room.

“Peter, what…?”

“It’s okay,” he whispered to you although you felt like it was absolutely not okay. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

He took your hand, threading your fingers together.

“I just…I need you to come downstairs.”

His voice was so low, and despite the confusion you felt as you gazed into his eyes, you allowed him to lead you out of bed. You surmised that Steve went back downstairs because he was nowhere to be found when you followed Peter into the hallway.

Every step of yours felt heavy, and you didn’t miss the tight hold Peter had on your hand as he gently pulled you downstairs. You had no inkling of where you were even going, but you were shocked to realize that he was leading you towards the den. However, the biggest shock of all was the sight that met you.

You faltered as your eyes roamed over every single one of the husbands.

“Peter…”

Your voice was barely a whisper, but you knew he heard you by the feel of his hand gently squeezing yours.

You didn’t understand what was going on, and as you looked around, you almost wished you hadn’t. None of them looked happy, and while that in itself wasn’t alarming, it was the degree of unhappiness that unsettled you. Your gaze briefly met Bucky’s, and you suspected that if looks could kill, your throat would have slit on sight.

You took a step behind Peter.

“I always knew that your methods would backfire one day, Peter.”

Your eyes landed on Steve as he said this, and you watched the blond pour himself a drink. Thor was sitting in the seat closest to him, and you felt grateful for that because you were sure that the sight of an angry and imposing Thor towering over you would have made you faint.

You glanced at Peter, face almost hurting now from how much you were frowning.

“Peter, what’s going on?” you whispered.

“Yeah, Peter,” Steve mockingly agreed. “What’s going on?”

You looked between them, that feeling a full-fledged impairment, now as you almost felt like you couldn’t move.

“Ask her, Peter.”

Steve’s voice had lowered, his tone cold when his blue gaze finally met yours.

“Ask her, right now.”

You wanted to run for some reason, get far away from here…but you couldn’t. Peter seemed to be hesitating about whatever he was supposed to be asking you, and Bucky beat him to it.

“Did you help Nat escape?”

The question shocked you both for how unexpected it was and also because it wasn’t true. You felt your lips part as you looked at Bucky, withering under his venomous stare.

“What?” you gasped. “N-No!”

You looked around, a painful feeling washing over you as you realized what all of this was about.

“No, I-.”

“I don’t believe you,” you hadn’t even been able to get the words out, interrupted by Bucky who charged towards you. “I don’t fucking believe you.”

You stumbled back per courtesy of Peter who forced you back with a hand on your waist. Your hand gripped his arm in fear as you looked around him, watching with wide eyes as he faced Bucky. The other man looked at you like he could kill you without thinking twice about it, and you supposed that he could. He’d done it to Wanda, after all.

You hadn’t realized that you’d started crying, your cheeks cold all of a sudden.

“Bucky.”

“She helped her, Peter. I know she did!” Bucky spat, pointing at you as you shook your head.

“No! I didn’t-! Peter,” you pleaded, looking at him, now. “I didn’t!”

Your voice was cracking, and you hoped they didn’t take that for an admission of guilt or something. You hadn’t helped Nat escape, but you knew that to them, the truth might as well be the same, and you couldn’t stop crying.

“Remind us again, Peter… Repeat to us the events of that night for you,” Steve finally spoke up again, his voice eerily calm as he looked at you both.

His words had you blinking, and you looked to Peter in confusion. He looked conflicted, almost miserable, in fact, and you watched him pull his lip between his teeth.

“What was it you said? You woke up…?”

You looked at Steve, hating him and his mocking tone. You hated the way he talked like he already knew the answers he was looking for, like he was the smartest person in the room.

“…because Y/N wasn’t beside me,” he finally answered.

Steve nodded, slowly and with a hum.

“…and why not? Where was she?”

Your heart dropped to the very bottom of your stomach, and the room swayed for half a second as you tightened your hand on Peter’s arm. You didn’t stare at any of them, your eyes falling to the floor as you fought to keep your food down. You felt numb and heavy all at once, and for the first time in a long time, you genuinely wanted to die.

“Where was she, Peter?” Steve asked again, not so nice this time.

Peter didn’t respond right away, and you wrapped your arm around him, forehead falling to his frame as you held in a sob.

“She was by the window,” he finally breathed, sounding defeated. “Looking out of it.”

You heard Clint mumble something, and although you couldn’t make it out, you knew it wasn’t nice.

Only another moment passed before Peter was harshly pushing you back, but it wasn’t fast enough. Bucky’s hand had gripped the sleeve of your nightgown, both ripping the fabric and scratching your skin in the process. You screamed in both shock and pain, hurrying back until you met the wall, clutching your arm as Peter harshly shoved the older man away.

“She didn’t do it!”

“Move, Peter,” Bucky hissed. “Anyone with half a brain can see that she helped her! She-.”

Bucky cut himself off, and when you looked around Peter, the other man’s chest was heaving as he stared you down.

“Anything could’ve happened to Nat,” he forced out. “Anything, and she-!”

“I didn’t help her!”

“Shut up,” he snarled at you, so harsh and violent that more tears fell.

You pressed your hands to your mouth, trying and failing to hold your sobs in.

“I don’t want to hear another word out of her mouth unless it’s the truth,” he bit out.

“Do not talk to her like that,” Peter told him, taking a step towards him. “Do you hear me?”

He continued before Bucky could say anything else.

“You’re angry, I get it, but if you think I’m going to stand here and let you talk to her like that, you’ve taken one too many blows to the head,” Peter sneered.

They stared at one another for what felt like too long, just staring each other down, and you felt yourself sliding to the floor. The room was blurry from your tears, and it felt so hard to breathe. You brought your knees up to your chest, squeezing your eyes shut as more tears fell.

“Let me talk to her,” you heard Peter whisper, the same thing you’d heard him yell earlier.

You couldn’t stop crying no matter how hard you tried, and you let your head fall into your hands. The room was quiet save from the sound of you, and it wasn’t long before you felt Peter’s hands reach for your own.

“Peter,” you sobbed.

“Look at me. Hey…look at me,” he softly said. “Please…”

You reluctantly peeled your eyes open, and you glanced up when Peter gripped your chin.

“Don’t look at them,” he told you, voice gentle. “Look right at me.”

His voice was soothing, and you reached up to grip his wrist as you met his dark gaze. His eyes were soft, but there was something swirling there that made you nervous. An underlying skepticism lie there, and you pressed your lips together.

“There’s my pretty girl,” he quietly praised, sadly smiling at you.

He wiped your face, tongue darting between his lips. He stared at you, running his eyes over your face, and drinking you in for a moment.

“Did you help Nat escape?”

“No,” you answered without hesitation. “I didn’t. I… I could never.”

…and it was true.

You weren’t like Nat. You were weak, passive at best, and you could never have the courage to actively help anyone in this house escape. At least, you didn’t think so. The best anyone would get out of you was…well…simply looking the other way, and that was why as Peter took a deep breath, hinting that he was not done, you feared what would come out of his mouth. You dreaded his next words…

…and Peter looked like he dreaded them too.

He looked like he dreaded them more than the question that had just left his lips, and maybe it was because he knew the truth in this moment.

“…but you saw her leave.”

He held your gaze, and you held his. You didn’t move…didn’t speak, but you didn’t need to. Your silence was confirmation enough, and you flinched when you heard Bucky break something. It sounded like a glass.

“Peter…”

“You saw her leave…and you didn’t say anything,” he sounded heartbroken, and you soon realized why. “You lied to me.”

Your head lowered, and you wiped your face, but more tears just replaced those. You reached for him, gripping his shirt, trying to keep him close.

“Peter… Peter, I’m sorry,” you choked out, trying to pull him closer.

“That’s why…” he trailed off, sighing to himself as his eyes fell closed.

He chuckled to himself, but it lacked humor.

“That’s why,” he said to himself, his own head lowering so that his forehead touched yours.

You felt him wipe your face, a shaky sigh leaving him.

“I’ll never stop loving you,” he murmured. “…but I’m not who you should be apologizing to.”

You looked at him with wide eyes when he pulled away, and you released another sob. Just the thought of what was waiting for you had you breathing short, and you pressed your hand to your chest. Peter still had one of your hands, and you could feel his chin on top of your head.

“Anything could have happened to her,” he told you. “Nat could’ve been seriously hurt…she could’ve died.”

“We told you,” you heard Bucky harshly tell him. “We told you you were being too soft on her.”

“Bucky…”

Peter’s voice reeked of exasperation as he held you to him, letting you cry into his chest. You couldn’t stop shaking, and your head was pounding so much from your tears. What would happen to you now? Would you be going down into the basement? For how long? Or…

Or was Steve going to make Peter tie you to a tree?

“What? You’re going to look at us and tell us we’re wrong, now? Nat escaped!”

You flinched as Bucky raised his voice, sounding much closer, too close.

“…and she just let it happen,” he snarled. “If she wasn’t yours…if she was just some random woman on the street, I’d wring her neck.”

That was enough to have Peter pulling away from you, presumably confronting Bucky, but you couldn’t even care, couldn’t even focus on that. You couldn’t stop crying no matter how hard you tried. Every time you did, you almost choked, and between that and trying to suck in air…

“…and why would I be like you…? Or Steve? You don’t think you broke her enough when you killed her friends? What did you expect, for her to behave rationally all this time?”

You heard Bucky chuckle, and for some reason, you hated the sound of it. It was cold, nasty, and it sounded like something that preceded trouble.

“Get off your high horse, Peter,” Bucky threw at him. “You’ve done just as much damage to her as we have…”

Bucky’s next words made your breath stop entirely.

“…it wasn’t us who killed…what was her name? Was it Michelle? Was that the one you shot?”

You felt…paralyzed, and the distinct lack of sobs filling the room was evident. Your hands had been on your forehead, and you could only stare at the floor as you felt like nothing was below your feet, falling without an end in sight. A sharp pain in your head forced you to squeeze your eyes shut, and you shook your head.

No.

No…no…

That wasn’t right.

It couldn’t be.

Sam…Sam killed her. Hadn’t he?

Your chest was hurting so bad that you actually clutched it, gasping for breath, and your other hand reached for the wall, trying and failing to steady yourself. You felt like you were in pain, and when you tried to stand up, you only fell back down. You felt familiar hands on your arms, and when you looked up, you flinched.

Peter frowned.

“Y/N…”

“What…?” you breathed.

That couldn’t be true…and yet…you couldn’t recall actually seeing Sam shoot Michelle. You…you had just assumed… But Peter was the first one to get to you that day, but he’d also spoke as if it was Sam…but Peter… As you looked into his brown eyes, the brown eyes that you had grown to look forward to looking into, you realized that Peter was a liar…and a murderer.

…and you wanted to be sick.

His hands were on your face, and you tried to bat them away.

“No, no, no,” you repeatedly mumbled, shaking your head. “No!”

You shoved at him, but Peter wouldn’t budge, determined to get you to calm down. Too preoccupied with wanting to be as far away from him as possible, you were none the wiser to Steve’s approach.

“It’s a good thing you brought Nat back up to prepare for Bruce’s visit,” the blond said, shoving past Peter and roughly grabbing you. “…because now she’ll have the whole basement to herself.”

The scream that you let out hurt your throat, and despite your anger and disgust with him, you still reached for Peter as Steve dragged you away. Your hand just barely grazed his as your feet lifted from the ground, and you reached out, trying to grab onto anything you could. You could hear Peter following behind Steve, begging and pleading with him on your behalf.

You could hear something occasionally being knocked over by you, the sound of breaking glass reaching your ears here and there. When Steve finally did reach the basement door, you pressed your feet to it, trying in vain to prevent this from happening. You hadn’t been in the basement since your first few days here, and it was not somewhere you wanted to be again. Not now…not after…

However, enthusiastic to see you suffer for letting his wife get away, Bucky unlocked and opened the door for Steve, the darkness threatening to swallow you whole. When Steve’s arm pressed into the cut Bucky had made on your arm, you winced.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time…”

…and with those last words, Steve tossed you inside. Your hands slid over the steps as you fell, feet tangling together, and you reached out to grab the rail, but it only slowed your descent. It did nothing to stop it, landing at the bottom of the stairs in a heap just as the door was slammed shut. You were surrounded by darkness, but it was the least of your worries, a choked wail escaping you at the thought of Peter.

You pressed your face into the floor as you cried, lacking the strength and will to move.

[cinnamonest]

Head empty no thoughts just daydreaming about incel scara with groupmate/project member!reader

Imagine them sitting together in a library. They need to be close to share one screen and go over everything while one or the other does some explaining. And scara is just DISGUSTED by her very clearly, very obviously whorish behavior aka her casually jutting her chest, pouting/biting her lips, getting close to him when she needs to lean, when she bends over away from or next to him, he can see her cleavage if he tries hard enough, or see her skirt ride or her lower back getting exposed and if he moves juuuuust a bit closer he can touch her boobs-

Just outright disgraceful and shameless behavior typical of the female 😤 and no, that's not his boner wdym. And reader is just earnestly trying to understand what he's trying to say because he seems so indifferent and almost looks as if dislikes her.

Ahhh it must be because he's annoyed, this isn't her subject after all. In which case, ALTERNATIVELY- consider CS major scara with darling in some non-STEM field passively calling her dumb and insulting her intelligence whenever they come to "study" because: what? She doesn't know how to install Windows? Ha

Only reason she has a decent gpa is because you don't actually need brains or talent for those art "subjects" and they are more suited to females anyway because it's not like they contribute much to society or are very intelligent, unlike him-

I remember my university had these little rooms in their library that were basically tiny study rooms with a couch and chairs, but like no windows, and were advertised as two-way soundproof to help you study and let me tell you. Y’all. People had sex in those. A lot. It happened a lot.

But the thing is they had no tables with desk-type chairs, only like coffee tables and lounge chairs, so if you wanted to work with someone else on something you kinda had to use the sofa which could be very awkward. Anyway

Oh he's absolutely a STEM snob that looks down on humanities majors. They’re for people with no real skills, who lack the ability to do more important stuff… or God forbid, you're a fine arts major of some kind. Very typical girl stuff, they waste money on useless degrees because they insist on having equally useless jobs. You’re probably going to be a future HR person, getting random guys fired for harmless comments and such.

So he always talks to you in such a condescending way, as if the things he’s explaining are so very obvious or simple that it’s a chore to explain it to you. You need to be aware of how intellectually inferior you are.

Also he’s one of those boys for whom “disgusted” is really just turned on, he lacks the ability to distinguish it — like it’s arousing, but it’s irritating that it’s arousing because he can’t do anything about it, so he identifies that feeling as disgust when it’s really just unbearable levels of sexual frustration compounded with bitterness. Ugh.

And as for you, it has to be intentional. You know what you're doing. It's on purpose. You just think it's funny or amusing to torment someone who can't do anything about it. In a fair world, you'd pay for your actions somehow.

And maybe you're even getting good grades in exchange for "favors." That makes sense, it's the only way that explains how you remain enrolled really. Maybe you'll eventually do the same for him, try to get him to do work for you in exchange for something. Not that that would work, he would never ever enable you like that, and definitely has the self-control necessary to reject you.

There’s something so wrong with how things are, that this situation can even arise, that you’re allowed to waste so much money and time on your dumb degree when you have better uses. He’ll probably go home and make some long vent post to some niche corner of the internet about the woes of having to tolerate this situation. Tragic.

[toriangeli]

Thoughts about Lesmand next season

I maintain that one of the most important relationships of s3 is going to be Lestat/Armand, not because of shipping, but because it's very central to TVL and the series as a whole. Their complicated feelings about each other are fascinating. And they're complicating them even further.

One clear change made is that Lestat now blames Armand for Nicki's death. For those who haven't read the books, Lestat never blamed Armand for Nicki's suicide. This is because one of book!Lestat's most infuriating flaws is that he forgives immediately. This isn't because he's a sweetheart or virtuous or any of that shit, it's because he doesn't like feeling negatively. It's a trait that gets him into a lot of trouble.

But on a television show, something visual and far more concrete than the contents of a book, I can see how this attitude could lead an audience to believe Lestat didn't really care about Nicki. I think that's a good enough reason to make the change already. But there's another important reason to change this.

People talk about how much Lestat's characterization changes between the first two books, but seldom do we get into how vastly Armand changes. Not as a result of character development--as a result of Anne Rice not quite knowing who he is. He was the villain of the first two books, and she expected him to remain a villain until she wrote QOTD and realized he isn't evil.

But by the time she'd figured that out about him, TVL was already out there, and the conflicted nature of Lesmand was very much one-sided. Lestat thought they were besties, while Armand had basically no redeeming characteristics. In this light, Marius' abandonment of Armand is more understandable than it is later on, because as of the writing of TVL, Armand really was meant to be beyond hope.

So at the start, Lestat and Armand really just had a hero-villain relationship. Straight-up. With mutual pining. Some of the major beats of their dynamic, like Armand's sincere belief that Lestat led him on, or Lestat's strange trust in a very unstable Armand, came out of nowhere. It seemed like some of Lestat's attitude towards him was only there to make the betrayals even crueler. Lestat was a total martyr. Hell, at one point (in Memnoch I think) he even asked how Armand could still love him "after everything I've done to you." Lestat didn't do shit to Armand.

Conversely, it can also feel like their later closeness comes out of nowhere. A lot of grudges are let go during QOTD in the face of bigger problems, and the Lesmand conflict is one of them. But what did they do to earn the closeness they have as of Memnoch? What bonded them so much that Armand was the only one who could safely approach a coma'd Lestat?

The show has the opportunity to make these beats feel earned. It has the opportunity to make the conflict something they both contribute to, rather than just Armand. Just like with Lestat, they are drawing characterization of Armand from later books where Anne had his personality down more solidly. They've ironed out some of the big conflicting things, like him spell-gifting Louis into turning Madeleine when turning people is later established to be utterly against his moral code.

More than anything, I hope to see what made them so important to each other right away. I want to see Lestat's pity and mercy as he realizes how very unwell Armand is, and how that is the reason he lashes out. I do think it should still fall apart because Armand bites the hand that feeds him. I do still want the unhinged gremlin we saw in 2.05. But I think if the audience is going to empathize with him--something Rolin has said is important to them--Lestat shouldn't be quite so much of a saint. I think there should be a crumb of a reason Armand thinks Lestat led him on, albeit a small enough one that it's still not a conclusion a rational person would come to. Like the blood-sharing and casual (for Lestat) sex in Armand's little story. Ideally even smaller. I'd like there to be some trigger. Otherwise, the audience will wonder if they missed something (as I did).

I'll probably ramble more as thoughts come up, but that's it for now.

[thankskenpenders]

And now for something new

So, here's something I was never planning on doing, but I just couldn't shake the idea... Thanks Ken Penders is gaining a sister blog featuring an entirely different comic franchise!

Introducing... Thanks Steve Ditko, a blog where I read the Earth-616 Spider-Man comics, starting all the way back in the '60s! It's gonna be much more casual and less thorough than how I run things here on TKP, though, which I'll explain in a sec.

If seeing me post weird bits from old Spider-Man comics sounds fun and you need no further info, then just head right on over to Thanks Steve Ditko. But for longtime TKP readers, I know you probably have questions...

Number one: Why?

Spider-Man's always been my favorite superhero, and with the Spider-Verse movies kicking ass and my excitement building for the new Insomniac game, I've been in a Spidey mood. Inevitably, a thought occurred to me: Maybe I should actually read the comics that everything else is built off of and see the wildly varying contributions of all the original creators, rather than filtering them through big budget adaptations. If I can power through One Piece and all these other manga with hundreds of chapters, it can't be that hard... right?

And, well, after a few issues I quickly realized that my options were to either clog up my other accounts with random Spider-Man panels for years, or to just make a side blog. And so the side blog was born.

Two: Will this blog replace Thanks Ken Penders?

NO!!!!!!!!!

Okay but prove it

To allow the two to exist side-by-side, Thanks Steve Ditko will have a different format than what Thanks Ken Penders developed. Rather than an in-depth guided tour that critically analyzes every story beat of every issue, TSD will just be a place for amusing panels and brief thoughts as I casually read the comics at my own pace.

If you've seen me make a few tweets about reading Spider-Man recently, I'm basically just moving that to a dedicated Tumblr. It's a place for me to dump these things so that it doesn't fill up my media tab on Twitter for the next decade. (You know, assuming Twitter is still around in a decade.) There will be many issues where I only post two panels that I thought were funny. There will be issues where I don't have anything to say at all. Maybe I'll reach a run that I just cannot get into, and I start skipping around more. Who knows!

This may sound similar to what I thought this blog would be before it blew up. Aside from the simple fact that there's already mountains of Spider-Man commentary out there and therefore less of a void for me to fill, one of the main steps I'll be taking to avoid repeating the past is not enabling an ask box on TSD. I do not need people to ask me to go into ten times more detail on everything. I do not need to write seven essay-length responses to questions about Spider-Man minutiae every day. I do not need a place for people to chide me for not covering certain scenes, issues, or ancillary series.

It also won't have any kind of update schedule. I'm trying to keep it very casual. I'm reading these comics at my own pace, and if I feel like sharing a moment or commenting on something while doing so? It goes there. That's it.

(On the subject of format changes, I'm also listing the issue, writer, and penciller in the body of every post. This is a thing I wish I'd done on TKP so that people didn't misattribute every weird Archie Sonic panel I post to Penders.)

Three: So when will TKP come back from hiatus? You said it'd come back after you finished SLARPG!

I don't know! Sorry. I have a couple things on the backburner right now for TKP, but I'm not sure when I'll get back to proper updates where I read more comics.

I wanted to bring TKP back this year, and that's still possible. The main hurdle is that I want to reread my own archive (again) as a refresher, which is, uh. A lot of posts. I've developed a high standard for myself on here, and I feel like I wouldn't be doing my job right if I forgot half the ongoing subplots and character arcs and didn't bring them up in my analysis. Especially when I'm discussing the work of an author as obsessed with continuity as Ian Flynn. Unfortunately, the nature of this blog means that every time I go on another long hiatus for Life Reasons I have even more comic continuity to catch up on than last time.

(This is a big part of why I'm making Thanks Steve Ditko an extremely casual blog instead of promising to become a Lore Expert on 60+ years of Marvel.)

Mostly I've just been very burnt out this year after having finally finished a video game that took almost eight years to make. I haven't really had the energy for any creative projects, including TKP. But I feel a little bit of a spark here with Spider-Man, so I'm chasing that feeling to try to get back into the swing of blogging about comics - no pun intended.

So, basically, bear with me on this as I start this low-energy side project. But hopefully folks will enjoy Thanks Steve Ditko as its own thing, too.

Look forward to goofy shit like this

[weenwrites]

Hi, can I get headcannons about optimus prime with a human reader,where the reader is struggling with the fact that optimus chose jack over them to guard the key to vector sigma.(optimus is the guardian of the reader and the reader blames mostly themselves for being too weak,stupid and regretting every past traumatic experience they shared with optimus.They dont blame jack or optimus.)The reader tries to hide it bcs they dont want to embarrass themselves(as they see it) any further in front of optimus or burden him,but the thoughts that everyone dislikes them creep up again and so they become distant very quiet/serious.(Actually the reader is super intelligent,like ralphs level of smart,but in every possible area of knowledge not just science with great advices for everyone and everything,basically so caring deep down that they see it as weakness and hate themselves for it)Optimus knows whats wrong (he saw the readers hurt expression when he gave the key to jack despite the reader thinking that they were not noticed) and takes them for a drive after a long time to confront the reader about it.I would like like it as long and angsty as possible.

✎A/N: I'm assuming you mean angsty as in this is written from the Reader's POV, and we see all the self-deprecating thoughts and then Optimus approaches them, but my writing focuses more on the character than the reader insert, so I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

It's difficult to hide your feelings from him. He's very perceptive, much more than you'd expect, and even if he doesn't pick it up from you directly, he can pick it up from the way the rest of the team positively speaks about you. It's like how a kid thinks they're keeping something under wraps, but the adult already knows everything about it.

As your friend, he readily offers any and all support he can give. Optimus attempts to console you by expressing that by no means are your past contributions considered "small", and for each and every one, the team is grateful. But your worth isn't determined by your ability to contribute to the team, he's sure to add, as the team also values you as a friend whom they can look to for comfort or advice whenever they need it most.

He urges you to not let your own pain blind you from the truth, and he keeps reminding you of all the times you've aided the team in one way or another with your sharp wit and emotional intelligence, such as how you helped to coordinate the effort to seize the space bridge.

Though you see traits such as kindness as weaknesses, he sees them as some of your greatest strengths. Your compassion can be a source of hope and comfort that the team was able to draw from during their darkest hours. It can be difficult to recognize the affect you have on everyone around you, but it's there and he's seen the evidence. Even if you don't see it, you've changed the team's lives and he's grateful for your unwavering kindness, even in the face of adversity.

But he understands that internal conflicts can be among the most difficult to overcome, and so he knows that his words aren't an instant remedy to your insecurities. Your own doubt and insecurity can make you blind to your own strengths and exaggerate your weaknesses, making it hard to accept or believe any remotely positive thing that someone says about you. But Optimus wouldn't lie, these things he's said to you are true and honest, yet it's most likely still difficult to accept them at face value. That's alright, he'll sit through it with you.

[gliphyartfan]

You can ignore this.

What about a reader that got Stockholm Syndrome and feels that they don't deserve the affection they get from the chain so they show love towards the chain by waking before most of the chain early morning and making meals for the chain and fixing clothes they find damaged. Basically reader showing affection to the chain by doing domestic things for them.

Hmmmmmm….i can’t say I’ll do well…

Well...I can say this isn’t @yanderelinkeduniverse’s (y/n) (one of my many eternal muses) so you can choose whoever you want to be the star of this one.

Hopefully I did your request justice!

But anyway: here you go my friend!

.

.

.

.

.

.

The early morning air was cool and damp as (Y/N) carefully stirred from their bedroll, the familiar rustling of leaves and the distant call of birds filling the quiet camp.

The sky was just beginning to lighten, a soft gray hue filtering through the trees.

It was their favorite time of day, a time when everything felt calm, peaceful, and they could focus on showing their affection to the Chain in the only way they felt they could.

Quietly, (Y/N) slipped past the others. This time, it was Twilight and Time who were keeping watch on opposite sides of the camp.

Both acknowledged them with a brief glance, nodding silently as (Y/N) smiled in return.

(Y/N) didn’t notice the way their gazes lingered after they passed, how Twilight’s brow furrowed slightly in concern, or how Time’s lips tightened, his eyes narrowing at their every movement.

They reached the small pile of supplies they’d set aside for breakfast.

It was comforting to have a task, something they could do for the group. But as (Y/N) began preparing the meal, the familiar pang of guilt surfaced. Cooking was Wild’s passion, not theirs.

As they started to chop the vegetables, that guilt gnawed at them again.

‘This is something that brings him joy,’ (Y/N) thought, ‘I’m taking it from him.’ But Wild had always been so kind about it. He’d smile and tell them it was fine, that he didn’t mind.

Yet every time (Y/N) asked for permission to cook, and every time Wild gave it, the knot of guilt in their chest grew tighter.

‘He allows it’, (Y/N) tried to rationalize, stirring the pot with a slow, careful motion. ‘I’m not taking anything from him if he says it’s okay.’ And they needed to help in some way, to contribute. It was the least they could do for the Chain, who did so much for them.

But, as they worked, they failed to notice the subtle shifts around them.

Time’s watchful gaze had turned more focused, tracking every move (Y/N) made as though expecting them to falter.

Twilight’s sharp eyes followed their form, and when he shifted to check on the rest of the camp, his glance lingered a little longer than usual. Neither said anything, but there was something shared between them, an unspoken concern as they watched (Y/N) work.

The quiet was broken when Time approached them, his steps soft but deliberate. “Up early again?” His voice, as always, was gentle. His eyes, soft and affectionate.

(Y/N) looked up, offering him a small, sheepish smile. “I didn’t want to wake anyone.”

Time’s hand came to rest on their shoulder, his touch warm but firm. “You never do. You’re always so careful.” His words were meant as praise, but something in his tone made (Y/N) feel like it wasn’t quite a compliment.

Still, they took it in stride, smiling again as they continued to stir the pot.

“I’m almost done,” they said, hoping to shift the conversation. “Figured I’d finish up before everyone else wakes.”

Time’s hand didn’t leave their shoulder. His grip remained, not forceful, but strong. “You don’t have to do so much for us, you know,” he said softly, his voice carrying a strange mix of affection and something deeper.

There was a shadow of concern in his gaze, though (Y/N) didn’t notice it before it was hidden away swiftly. “We’d still care for you, even if you didn’t.”

(Y/N) smiled up at him, feeling their cheeks warm at his words. “I just… I want to help,” they said, brushing off the unease that briefly surfaced. Time smiled back, his eyes softening.

By the time breakfast was ready, the rest of the Chain began to stir.

Wild was the first to reach the fire, his hair still wild from sleep, and his eyes soft with that familiar warmth he always had when looking at (Y/N).

“Thanks for breakfast,” Wild said, his voice rough from sleep but laced with gratitude. “You didn’t have to do it, though. I could’ve handled it.”

“I know,” (Y/N) replied quickly, that familiar knot of guilt rising again. “I just… I wanted to help.”

Wild gave them a soft, almost sad smile as he reached out to gently ruffle their hair. “You always do. But don’t feel like you have to take my job, okay?” His voice was kind, but there was an undertone to it, a subtle hint that he was worried about something more than just the cooking.

(Y/N) laughed it off, feeling the guilt twist a little deeper.

‘He’s fine with it. He said so.’ But they couldn’t help the nagging voice at the back of their mind, reminding them that they were taking something precious from him. Something that he loved.

And yet… Wild never complained. None of them did.

As the rest of the group gathered for breakfast, (Y/N) found themselves sitting a little to the side, quietly watching the others eat. They didn’t notice the way the Chain’s eyes flicked back toward them, each of them sharing brief, worried looks when they thought (Y/N) wasn’t looking.

Legend’s sharp gaze lingered a little too long, narrowing slightly, as if calculating something.

Twilight’s lips pressed into a thin line, his brow furrowing in thought as he ate in silence.

(y/n) merely yawned, wondering if they shouldn’t have stood up the night before working in repairing Wild’s cloak. (It hadn’t been a cloak then, more like shreds of cloth.)

They didn’t notice, though, too focused on making sure everything had gone smoothly with breakfast, and too used to the constant presence of their protectors to see anything strange about it.

When the meal was finished, (Y/N) gathered Warriors’ tunic, noticing the small tear that had appeared near the hem.

They set about mending it, their hands moving with practiced ease. It was a small, simple task, but one they took comfort in. It felt good to help in any way they could.

But as they worked, they didn’t notice the way Warriors’ eyes followed them, a look of soft concern on his usually confident expression.

He didn’t say anything, just watched, his fingers twitching slightly as if he wanted to take the tunic from them, perhaps even the needle.

But he didn’t. Instead, he exchanged a glance with Hyrule, whose gaze flickered between (Y/N) and the fire.

“Are you alright?” Hyrule asked after a moment, his voice quiet and gentle. He sat down beside (Y/N), close but not too close, his body angled protectively as if ready to shield them from something.

(Y/N) blinked, surprised by the question. “I’m fine,” they answered quickly, offering him a reassuring smile. “Just fixing up some clothes. No big deal.”

Hyrule’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, but he nodded, accepting their words even though his gaze remained fixed on them, watching carefully, as though searching for any sign of strain or exhaustion.

The Chain’s affection surrounded them constantly, soft gazes, gentle touches, and quiet reassurances, but behind it all, there was a deeper worry that (Y/N) never noticed.

They didn’t see the way Time’s brow furrowed when they stayed up late mending clothes or the way Wild watched them a little too closely when they cooked.

They didn’t notice how Twilight hovered nearby, ready to step in at a moment’s notice, or how Legend’s gaze sharpened whenever they worked too hard.

To (Y/N), this was just love. Pure, simple love.

They had long stopped questioning the oddness of the Chain’s protectiveness.

(They didn’t see the possessiveness in their eyes or the way their concern often bordered on something more obsessive.)

They were safe. They were loved. And even if they didn’t feel worthy of all the attention, all the care the Chain gave them, they couldn’t deny the warmth it brought.

(And if there was more to it than that, (Y/N) remained blissfully unaware.)

[cant-get-enough-btr-forever]

Welcome to MsMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Big Time Rush Show Theories!

Okay, I'm not actually MsMojo.

But here are my theories, anyway. They get darker as you go down. You have been warned.

10) Mr. Knight's First Name Is Donald

This wouldn't be complete without a Kendall's Father Theory, so I included three of them.

In "Big Time Beach Party", Kendall's middle name is revealed to be Donald. I'd bet money that this is his dad's name.

9) Mr. Knight Is a Famous Athlete

Mr. Knight is probably a well-known athlete, at least in Minnesota. He was the kind of jock who got all the scholarships and trophies. Since Mama Knight was a cheerleader (revealed in "Big Time Pranks II"), she likely met him during a game. Since he particularly excelled at hockey, it became his main profession.

This would explain why Kendall loves hockey so much.

8) Carlos' Helmet Is a Gift From His Father

The age-old question: Why the heck is Carlos so obsessed with that helmet?

It's simple, really: His dad gave it to him when he was a child. As Mr. Garcia is a police officer, he was probably away from home for long periods of time. Carlos grew attached to the helmet during these periods, because it reminded him of his papi.

This attachment worsened after Carlos moved to California, for obvious reasons.

7) The Jennifers' Origin Story

I actually made a whole poll for this one (which is what inspired me to write this essay).

Until recently, I'd never given this question much thought: How did The Jennifers become The Jennifers? More importantly, why?

Well, I have a few theories. I'll list them in order of most to least plausible.

Theory 1: The Jennifers just happened to meet at the Palmwoods. Once they realized how much they had in common (right down to their names), they decided to form an alliance.

Why? They are insecure and ungainly on their own, so they find strength in numbers. Just look at what happens in "Big Time Prom Kings", when one of The Jennifers is separated from the others. She is shown to be an awkward weirdo.

Theory 2: They're victims of the Industry—that is, they were forced into this "mean girls" act. Their real names may not even be Jennifer.

Theory 3: They're adopted sisters. This means that their parents 1) took them in as babies and named them all Jennifer, or 2) only adopted kids named Jennifer. Either way, their parents are psychopaths.

6) Logan and James Are Only Children

Please don't cite me (or fight me) on this; I am not a psychologist. You can, however, cite this.

Being an only child would explain James' desire for fame/attention: He got undivided attention from his mom (maybe not his dad) as a child, so it carried over into his later years.

Or...maybe he didn't get enough attention as a child. This would've also carried over into his later years. So, really, it could've gone both ways.

It would even explain James' habit of talking to himself/the mirror. He had no siblings to vent to, and something tells me his parents weren't the listening types.

This is why Brooke Diamond was so against the idea of him leaving. Many people find it hard to part with their only child. And, in Brooke's case, the only heir to her company.

As for Logan, being an only child contributed to his social awkwardness. On the plus side, he was more successful academically, since he didn't have to vie for his parents' support. It's the opposite of James' situation, basically.

This is why no other siblings are mentioned in the show. Now, as for Carlos? Well...I got nothin'. He doesn't give off "only child" vibes to me. In fact, I can picture him as the youngest sibling in a big, happy family. Additionally, the odds of all three being only children are pretty slim.

Feel free to share your own theories as to why other siblings are never mentioned.

5) Logan Diamond

This is a wild one, but please hear me out.

In "Big Time Moms", Logan's real name is revealed to be Hortense. Brooke Diamond didn't like that name, so she ordered the boys to start calling him Logan instead.

But...where did Brooke get the name "Logan", anyway?

My first theory was that it's his middle name. Makes sense. Then I thought of another theory that isn't too far-fetched:

Brooke couldn't have just pulled the name out of thin air—she liked that name. That name was special to her.

What if "Logan" had been her second name choice for James? "James" may be Mr. Diamond's name, which is the only reason she went with it.

This would mean that we almost had a "Logan Diamond."

4) Gustavo's Wife Cheated on Him

It sounds funny. But it also makes sense, when you think about it.

Gustavo seems like this big, mean rock (pun intended) who is incapable of any emotion besides rage. However, in "Big Time Secret", he says (after eating Mama Knight's snickerdoodles),

So, clearly, he's been in love at least once.

Here's my take: He had a wife many years ago, before he was a famous producer. But once his fame increased, so did his job-related anger/stress. Growing tired of this, his wife became unfaithful. Eventually, she left him altogether.

This embittered him into the cynical, love-hating Gustavo we know today.

3) James Used to be Bullied

I think James was bullied as a child, before he met the other boys. Maybe he was made fun of for being underweight/overweight. Maybe he was one of those kids who had to wear headgear. Whatever the reason, he was ridiculed for the way he looked.

This is why he's so concerned with looks in his later years. He's afraid of being "ugly" because he's scarred by those bad memories.

2) Mr. Knight Cheated on Mrs. Knight

As I said in #9, Kendall's dad is likely a popular athlete. Famous athletes are often swimming in money...and fans. Mr. Knight would've had plenty of opportunities to be unfaithful. This is what led to his and Mama Knight's separation.

He left his family very little money, choosing instead to spend it on his mistress. Mama Knight was forced to wait tables in order to support her kids (she says so in "Big Time Demos").

So, it's easy to see why the Knights never speak of him. What makes this theory even better is that Challen Cates (Mama Knight's actress) kind of confirmed it in this tweet.

⭐⭐⭐

Before I unveil my #1 pick, here are some honorable mentions:

The Entirety of Big Time Movie Is Carlos' Dream

Think about it—Carlos didn't actually wake up at the start of the movie. The whole thing is just a continuation of his dream.

Jenny Tinkler Suffers From Spontaneous Human Combustion

How else do you explain the random fires she causes? There has been a surprising amount of research on this phenomenon, by the way.

Buddha Bob Comes From a Wealthy Family

This humble maintenance man mentions in "Big Time Fever" that he went to business school. He proves it by rattling off some genuine financial factoids.

Business school costs thousands of dollars. This leads me to believe one thing: His parents are loaded. I wouldn't be surprised if they bribed Mr. Bitters into hiring him.

(Of course, he could've also taken out a student loan. Maybe he's working at the Palmwoods to pay off his debt. I dunno.)

⭐⭐⭐

1) Logan's Father Is Dead

Why is Logan so bent on becoming a doctor? Yes, he's smart. But he doesn't quite fit the profile: He panics under pressure, is easily grossed out, and is indecisive. I would've expected him to pursue a career in astronomy, since it seems to suit him better.

So, I mulled for a bit, and this is what I came up with: Mr. Mitchell passed away from an illness when Logan was little. This is what fueled Logan's desire to help other sick people. It would also explain why we never see his dad—or even hear him mentioned.

This ties in with the "only child" theory, because Mrs. Mitchell probably never remarried. Thus, Logan never had any siblings.

Do you agree with my picks? Please share your own theories; I love to hear them! I've pinned a link to all my Big Time Rush essays (I plan on writing more). And to MsMojo: Please don't sue me.

[mochiajclayne]

thoughts on naruhina + boruto and their...family

Will preface this by saying that this is a combination of observation and analysis and if you don't agree with me, take this with a grain of salt and scroll away.

(If you're a naruhina/nh shipper, do yourself a favor and scroll away because this isn't your cup of tea.)

sasusaku + sarada version.

Personally, it's almost emotionally triggering for me to watch the NH family because it reminded me of what my family dynamic used to be and witnessing it unfold in the sequel from a viewer's perspective made me realize how dysfunctional it is and what could've been done better.

Let's start at the issue at hand: Naruto not coming home, being too busy as Hokage to the point that he misses important family events like birthdays.

Boruto's reaction to the issue is realistic, especially to a kid that doesn't understand. I'm not saying that Naruto doesn't have a contribution to that mess at all (it's worse when you realize that he would rather be in his office worrying about the number of headbands than be with his family but that is a separate discussion that I will dive on in the near future, among other things). Basically, he wanted his father to be, well, present, so he does everything to get his attention. And no, those pranks aren't pointless. Being a Hokage means attending public functions and being involved with the community and what's the best freaking way to get your dad's attention by embarrassing him while on the job (which happens to be the same thing that stands between him being a good father)? Now, this wouldn't escalate into massive proportions like cheating-on-the-Chunin-exams level if Hinata was able to placate and explain things to her son.

In terms of explaining, there are several things to consider:

realizing the issue

being logical about the reasons

seeing eye to eye with your kid, emphasizing on how your kid perceived this issue emotionally and determining what they want

not making excuses and stating the reasons in the perspective that your kid can understand

openly communicating the issue to the ones in concern and expressing your stance on this, hearing them out, and reaching a consensus (or a conclusion)

But the thing is, Hinata herself doesn't see the problem, thus eliminating the chance to see her kid eye-to-eye on this particular issue--given that they aren't on the same page from the start. It's baffling as well as concerning to see that she doesn't have any qualms with her husband making a secondary residence in the Hokage Office, sleeping on the couch and not on their shared bed, overworking himself to the point that even his freaking advisor tells him to go the fuck home, would rather eat cup ramen than enjoy a home cooked meal, and the tipping point: is okay with her husband sending a clone to celebrate their daughter's birthday.

And her telling Boruto that his father is the Hokage and it's a busy position pretty much doesn't cover how fucked up the issue is. Boruto could easily counter that with well Shikadai's dad is the Hokage advisor but he can go home so what's stopping mine from doing the same? In short, she keeps on excusing the behavior which in turn gives off that Naruto prioritizes the job the most and their family clearly comes second and oh my, does that sound so appealing on a child's ears? Definitely not.

The point is, a kid would go through drastic measures to find the assurance and approval that they need especially if it wasn't provided to them. The pranks stopped when Sasuke entered the picture. He was able to talk to Boruto about his dad. Give opinions about Naruto as the person, not just someone in a high position. That's exactly what Boruto needed to hear.

Now you may wonder why Sasuke was able to do this and not Hinata? That's because Sasuke pretty much understands Naruto and he is able to provide more input about Naruto outside of his achievements and position. Not to mention that Sasuke pretty much took Boruto under his wing to train him if he wanted to defeat his dad. And one thing about Sasuke is he isn't pretty much holding back when he calls out Boruto, something I've noticed that Hinata wasn't able to do. Watching the scene of Sasuke scolding Boruto in front of his own mother is pretty funny because why is your husband's best friend giving off mother more than you?

[ejzah]

As promised, here is a summary of my experience at Epic Cons Chicago and meeting Eric! I’m including some of the pictures I took (with poor attempts to censor my face). Heads up, this is a long post.

I started off early in the morning with a long drive since I’m a scaredy cat and avoid the expressway as much as possible. The convention center was very full when I arrived and it took about 50 minutes for me to register because the process didn’t seem well-organized, so that wasn’t the most fun.

But after that, I was on my way to watch Eric’s panel! The panel he appeared on, had actors from several different shows, so he wasn’t asked that many questions. As usual though, he was charming and disarming. One fan asked everyone what word they would use to describe their character and I believe Eric chose “fearless vulnerability”, which is technically two words, but so very in character for Eric. I always love listening to him talk about Deeks and the depth that he infused into the character.

I have a few poorly filmed videos from the panel that I can share if you message me. I’d rather not post them just in case my account would get deactivated again. I thought of asking a question myself, but chickened out.

After that I had a very long break before my next event, so I got some tacos from a little place inside convention center. I’d give them a 5/10. They were overpriced, pretty tiny, and overall mediocre.

Now on to the really good parts!

Next I attended a meet and greet with Eric. I was super nervous leading up to it, and kind of regretted the tacos at that point. About ten of us were ushered into a small private room with chairs set up in a circle. We were instructed not to take any videos, picture, etc, before the start, so I don’t have any additional content. Eric came in a few minutes later and ended up sitting one seat over from me (😱), which was pretty darn distracting for me.

After telling us he’d never done a meet and greet before, answered several questions and chatted with us. One of the things that really struck me was just as with every video and interview I’ve seen over the years, is that Eric was so genuine, honest, and generous.

In answer to questions, he talked about the last few seasons and why there were some irregularities. Such as that the show was supposed to end after season nine and each season after that was considered a bonus and based on ability to form a tight budget. He also confirmed that none of them knew what was in “the box” aside from possibly Shane Brennan.

The greet part of the event went by far too quickly, and before we knew it, one of the volunteers announced it was time for the selfie portion. Fortunately, another fan noticed I had been trying to ask a question and spoke up for me.

Before I asked my question, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to shoutout wikiDeeks first. Eric really lit up and expressed how much he appreciated the hard work and thought put into the writing and contributions. He brought up an episode many fans had issues with (we figured out it was probably from the FLETC episode that shall go unnamed), and said he showed a piece of wikiDeeks writing to the writers/TPTB and basically said that it was deeper and better writing. I believe that might have been @anonkp’s wonderful work! In general, he was very appreciative and complimentary of everyone at wikiDeeks. He’s so very gracious!

We were really short on time, but I did get to ask the question “what would you change about Deeks if you could?” Eric couldn’t come up with a response on the spot, so he asked me the same question in return. I told him I didn’t think anything needed to be changed about Deeks, but didn’t always enjoy how silly he was written in later seasons.

Eric shared that he tried to play those moments in a way that put Deeks in on the joke instead of being the butt of the joke as much as he could. Unfortunately, he didn’t always have that luxury.

During our conversation, Eric was very engaging and attentive. For those couple minutes, I forgot to be nervous because he made the atmosphere so comfortable. It felt like he genuinely cared about what I was saying. My only regret is that I didn’t have time to emphasize how much I appreciate Eric’s acting and portrayal of Deeks.

After that, it was selfie time! When it was my turn, Eric bent down to my level (oh my lord he’s tall), naturally in my usual awkward way, I bent down too. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Hopefully Eric saw it as charming rather than incredibly silly and awkward. Hey, at least I made him laugh, right?

He’s so beautiful!

If any fans on here were present for the meet and greet, please let me know if I forgot anything or misremembered events. My memory is often faulty.

I also chose to get a professional shot with Eric and for that one I got a hug! I’m still not over it yet.

It was a really long day and a lot of driving, but so worth it for the chance to meet and talk with Eric. And, I’m pretty sure I came out this experience even more of a fan of Eric than ever.

[what-even-is-thiss]

could you share your thoughts on Christianity and the lgbt community? Not in a like "'oh yeah well how are you this and that if you're REALLY Christian"' kind of way, I'm asking from the perspective of someone who's been struggling with their spirituality because I don't know how I can believe and god and also be gay. Feel free not to answer this though, you shouldn't have to explain yourself to random people every time you mention your religion

There’s not a lot of mentions of what we would consider to be homosexuality in the Bible. Paul mentions it most explicitly but there’s some important things to remember about Paul. First, he’s just some guy. He did important work spreading the religion but that doesn’t mean that he’s right about everything. Second, his only exposure to homosexuality likely came from the Roman elite. And the way they did it usually involved raping slave boys and hiring young prostitutes. They didn’t usually have same sex relations in the way we think of them now. Men didn’t generally have romantic relationships with each other into adulthood and a full adult citizen being passive during sex was considered to be scandalous. Any actual romantic relationships between adults of the same sex were likely kept secret or at least weren’t talked about loudly. So Paul is living in this environment. And people aren’t completely separate from the environments they live in.

For the most part stuff in the Bible that’s translated as condemning homosexuality is referring to certain cultural practices common in the Mediterranean at the time that we also wouldn’t like today. Such as pederasty, also known as a romanticized form of pedophilia that even people at the time in cultures that practiced it heavily criticized. Consenting adults often did have romantic or sexual relations together but they weren’t commonly open about it.

Overall, the Bible just doesn’t have much to say about liking someone of the same gender if you look at instances outside of things alluding to some of the worse stuff the Greeks and Romans did. So if the Bible doesn’t say much about it, that leaves it up to us to logically deduce our personal feelings about it.

Okay. So what are the two main commandments Jesus gives us? Love your neighbor as yourself, and love god with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Basically: love God, love others, love yourself. These are said to be the rules that all other commandments stem from and supersede all other commandments in terms of importance.

So. Does being queer stop you from loving God? Loving others? Loving yourself?

Science is real. It helps us learn more and more about the universe God created all the time and science has proven time and time again that being queer isn’t a choice and that people are happier when they live more authentically.

God made you the way you are. You cannot control whether you’re queer or not. So it’s not a mistake in you that can be “fixed”. If humans were made in the image of God, you too are an image of God. So some tiny part of God, however small, looks like you. All of you. Including the queer parts.

So then. Are you loving God? Including the parts of God that are like you? Are you loving your fellow humans? Including your fellow lgbt humans? Are you doing your best to love yourself? Every part of yourself?

I don’t take the Bible fully literally. You can’t. It contradicts itself constantly. But even if you did, the world it was written for and the society that made the oral traditions it was based on no longer exist. At least not in the exact same way they once did. What the Bible does have in it is stories that can give us examples and have informed the formation of our culture as Christians. Christianity has changed a lot over the last 2,000 years. Many forms of it have come and gone. Ultimately it’s up to us as modern Christians what kind of world we want to be apart of and contribute to and what culture we want to make among ourselves. I can’t pretend to know the true nature of God but I do know that God inspires me to reduce suffering and speak up for injustice where I can.

Ultimately your interpretation is up to you. But I personally don’t see needless self flagellation over something you can’t control as an act of justice or love. Just a form of self torture that’s ultimately not adding much to the world. Adding some of your own happiness to the world in my opinion isn’t a problem.

If you want to know how being queer has affected my faith, I’ve never doubted for a second that being lgbt+ is fine. To be honest I’ve been more afraid of secular society not accepting me than God. God and I have wrestled before, but almost never over that. I am how I am and if God didn’t want me to be this way he probably wouldn’t have flipped the gay switch in my brain.

[musings-of-a-rose]

Prepping for Parents

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word Count: 680+

Rating: This is fluffy and for everyone, but my blog is rated Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: This was for the @pickled-pena writing challenge! Check it out here, but the specs are in the moodboard.

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❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

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**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Javier Peña Masterlist

“Ok..I think I have everything for the natilla. We’ll have to stop at the bakery to grab the buñuelos on the way back home…” I scan my grocery list, making sure to check items off with the pencil I have stuck behind my ear. In the corner of my eye, I see Javier nervously shifting from foot to foot, his hands on his hips as he chews at his lip. “Are you ok, Jav?”

“Hhmm?” His dark eyes meet mine and I swear I melt a little every time he looks at me. “Yeah. I’m great.”

“You’re about to chew a hole through your lip.”

He puffs his lips out, putting his hands up as if to say “Better?” I lean in and kiss his puffy lips, feeling him relax slightly. I pull back and look up at him. “Really. What’s up?”

He shakes his head but isn’t able to contain his thoughts anymore. “Your parents are coming in tonight, our first meeting, and you’ve done all of the cleaning, made sure the hotel is taken care of, made a menu of what we’re having, and you’re picking out all of the food. I just-” he sighs “-can’t I do something?”

“Jav, you don’t have to do anything. You’re here with me and that means so much, especially with all of the work you’ve been doing lately.”

He nods. “Yeah, but I would like to contribute something.”

I can see this is important to him, that he wants to do something for my parents and it makes my heart swell. 

“Do you know what a relish dish is?”

He thinks a moment. “Pickles and olives and shit?”

I chuckle slightly. “Yeah, basically. It’s a big staple at all of our dinners. Mom and dad are pretty particular. Can you go pick out some things for it?”

His eyebrows raise, nearly disappearing into his hairline. “You would trust me with it?”

“Just don’t put actual shit on the plate and I think you’ll be fine.”

He nods and takes off while I finish out my list. About 10 minutes later, he finds me picking up a bag of milk, which I nearly drop when I see that he’s carrying at least 12 jars of things. “What…what’s all this, Jav?”

He’s struggling slightly, trying not to drop them as he attempts to gently set them in the cart. “Well, I couldn’t settle on just a few things. These?” He holds up a jar of pickles. “Are dill. But maybe they like sweet so..” He holds up another jar. Jar after jar of pickles and olives and peppers, a slew of varieties, some I’d never seen before as he puts them in the cart. When he’s done, he brushes his hands together and looks at me, his eyes big like a puppy.

“Do you think it will be enough?”

I laugh then, my whole chest bouncing with it. “Jav, you got way too much. It’s just the 4 of us.”

"You stand there and accuse me of getting too much but where were you at the time? I don't know what everyone likes and..." he mumbles something, but I can’t quite hear him, my eyebrows pinching together in confusion. “What?”

He crosses his arms, his eyes not quite meeting mine as he leans in, speaking quietly. “I just want them to like me.”

“Oh, Javier. They’re coming all the way to Colombia for Christmas just to meet you. Trust me, they wouldn’t have made all of this effort if they didn’t like you. And besides-” I put a finger under his chin and tilt him to look at me “- I love you. There’s no way they won’t.”

His eyes soften and the corners of his mouth twitch slightly with a smile. “I love you too, querida.” He kisses me, soft lips and bristly mustache tickling at my skin before pulling back. “But this is stressing me out.” He kisses the top of my head before patting down his pockets and sliding out a pack of cigarettes. I let out a huff of disapproval when he fishes out his lighter.

“I thought you said you were quitting?”

He puts a cigarette in his mouth as he turns to walk to towards the door. “It will be my resolution, I promise querida.”

Author’s Notes: Natilla is a sweet custard that’s traditionally served during Christmas in Colombia. There’s many variations on it, but here’s one with coconut. Buñuelos are like a sweetish bread made with cheese, corn starch, and yuca flower that’s typically round/ball shaped and are pictured with the link I added with natilla. I could eat my weight in buñuelos. And yes, they have bagged milk in Colombia, I’ve seen it with my own eyes!

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[sentientgolfball]

you and i share a dangerous obsession with phantom its dangerous!!! anyways may i request a hurt/comfort type of scenario. everywhere i look its just phantom angst and being excluded from the ghoul pack so why not contribute to this trend!!!!!

reader is out in the woods taking a stroll when they're suddenly charged at by a dog but hearing their scream, phantom comes in and chases the dog away. reader and phantom havent had much interaction with one another given how badly the ghoul pack shoves him away and when reader realizes this, they take him back to their room where they ease phantom with affection and phantom basically MELTS

hes being given more attention by a human than his pack :[

sorry for the lengthy request!!!

Never apologize for a lengthy request ! I hope you like this one I kinda made it a mutual hurt/comfort. Everyone gets to be sad and everyone gets a hug

My requests are open !

The crunching of the leaves underfoot comes to an abrupt halt. You stop and slowly scan the wilderness surrounding you. It’s green and lush, teeming with life and the sweet smells of blooming wildflowers. The whole forest is cast in a golden glow as the setting sun pours through the foliage. You close your eyes and throw your head back and let out a deep sigh that’s been stuck in you all day. You feel the prick of tears in the corners of your eyes but you will yourself not to let them gather. You were out here to feel better, not worse. 

You really don’t know what got to you, but for the past few days you’ve felt like absolute shit. You didn’t understand it, everything was going pretty good in your life you knew that. You got promoted to lead your job at the Ministry, you’ve made a cluster of new friends from the influx of Siblings, and you still maintained close ties with your friends who volunteered to go to different branches. But something struck you every so often. Normally you had enough around you to distract you, but one night one off handed comment that was meant to be more of a joke than anything made something within you bubble. You tried so hard to make it go away, to not focus on it, to rationalize with yourself but you just couldn’t. It put you in a slump for the whole weekend. You had to force yourself to chip away at the project you were tasked with. You had to force yourself to shower. You didn’t have enough left in you to do your laundry or clean your space by the end of the day. You needed to get lost in something that wasn’t your mind. That’s what led you out into the middle of the woods. You remember something about nature being good for mental health. 

You walked for a while, stopping every so often to take a picture of a mushroom or leaf that stood out to you. When the forest got darker you decided it was time to head back to the Ministry, you didn’t feel much better but you couldn’t stay outside forever. You started walking back the way you came letting your feet drag on. You really didn’t want to have to return to the real world, but you knew you had to. You continued a bit farther before stopping. 

Didn’t I already pass that stump?

You take out your phone to check your pictures only to realize it had died. How did you not realize it was so low before coming out into the middle of the woods? You cursed and looked around in an attempt to get your bearings, but it was only getting dark as the sun sank before the horizon. You felt sick as the realization that you were lost starts to sink into your mind. You looked in each direction briefly considering picking a path and following it, but it would do you no good. Everything looked the same in the fading light and it made you disoriented. You hang your head in defeat and try to convince yourself that sleeping outside for one night wouldn’t be so bad. 

Well…at least it can’t get any worse. 

You should’ve kept your thoughts to yourself. You hear a howl in the distance and you freeze, tensing. You forgot about the hellhounds. How could you forget about the hellhounds.

 To be fair, the hounds only appeared at night to act as guards for Ministry grounds and you typically were not out and about after dinner. The issue now, though, is you have no idea what to do. If the hounds catch you you’re definitely dead. If you stay put they’ll find you easily. If you run they’ll chase the scent and you’ll just get more lost. 

You don’t have a lot of time to think before you hear a twig snap. You whip around to find the source and see two red pinhole eyes creeping out from the brush. It’s growling low, drool dripping from its maw. It snaps its teeth and you feel your heart pound in your ears. You slowly start to back up from it before your back hits a tree. You stare wide eyed at the beast and send a quick prayer that whatever it does will be quick and painless. You see the way its hind legs shift and you know it’s rearing back to pounce. You screw your eyes shut and hope for the best when you hear its growl turn into a full bark. You wait for the burn of claws and teeth…and you wait. 

When the tearing of flesh doesn’t come you crack open your eyes to see a soft purple glow and a tail waving side to side. You watch the hellhound creep closer to the figure, sniff it, and then turn and dart into the bush it first came out of. The second it’s gone the glow disappears and the ghoul hunches over with his hands on his knees. 

“Lord’s below that was terrible. The puppies are so cute I don’t understand how they grow into that.” 

“Uhh…”

“Oh!” He turns around suddenly “Are you alright? It didn’t bite you did it? Oh what am I thinking if it did you wouldn’t be standing here.” 

You stare at the ghoul in front of you. The left half of his face is cracked with lichtenberg figure scars that dip below the neckline of his top. His eyes are mismatched, one the typical color for quintessence, the other looks almost hollow with the pupil glowing faintly. He has a shock of white in his hair that perfectly lines up with the end of one of the branches of his scars. But all that isn’t what catches your attention. No, what you notice is the very obvious streaks of dried tears on his cheeks. 

“Yeah…yeah I’m okay. Uh are you?” 

“Hm? Oh yea! The hellhounds won’t attack ghouls. We smell like the Infernal to them.” 

“That’s not” you pause and shake your head “You’re Phantom right? One of the new papal ghouls?” 

His posture goes rigid when you say this but he nods anyway. He asks for your name and you give it to him and you are suddenly very aware of the tension in the air. After a moment he clears his throat. 

“If you don’t mind me asking…why are in the woods? I thought humans couldn’t survive outside for long.”

You almost wanted to laugh at the statement. The way he said it was filled with such genuine curiosity it made your heart warm. But then you remembered why you were out there and your face fell again. His scars seemed to pulse dimly with light and the ghoul suddenly looked panicked. 

“No, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean anything bad by that I was just—“ 

You shake your head “No it’s not anything you did Phantom. I just…had a rough couple of days. Needed somewhere to go.” 

His eyes scan over you for a moment before he wraps himself in a hug, tail curling around his leg. 

“Yeah I…I don’t know much about humans, but I think I know exactly what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

You look up at him and your heart breaks when you see just how small he looks. You tentatively reach towards him and you’re taken aback by how quickly he jumps into you. You freeze for a second not really sure what to do with a ghoul wrapped around you. You know ghouls are pack creatures so this is normal behavior. You slowly bring your arms up and around him, patting his back softly. That seems to do the trick as you feel his tail wrap loosely around your leg. You shudder feeling a zap of quintessence ripple through you. He pulls back just enough to look at you. He looks like he got punched in the gut. 

“I can make that go away. It’ll be easy and you’ll be happy again.” 

“What?” You say astonished before mentally slapping yourself. Quintessence ghouls can sense emotion, and in rare cases read minds. 

“Just let me make someone happy please.” He sounds desperate, almost afraid. 

“Phantom you can’t…make me happy. Well okay technically yes you can, but that’s magic. It’s going to change what’s wrong.” 

He hesitates “What is wrong?” 

You stare at him for what feels like an eternity before sighing and untangling yourself from him. You slump down against a tree and close your eyes, resting your head against the trunk. A quick smile flashes onto your face when you feel him sit next to you, tail now twining around your arm. You open your eyes and turn to look at him. Something about the way he looks at you makes you feel safe, seen. You feel your throat burn and you cough before you begin to explain what’s been causing you so much grief. 

You were lonely. 

“I know it must be such a silly thing for me to complain about…especially to a ghoul.” You say finishing out your tangent. 

“No,” he whispers, shaking his head “No I get it..”

You look up from where you had been playing with his fingers and gasp seeing the tears welling in his eyes. 

“Phantom what’s—“ 

You were cut off by him pulling you into another hug, but this one was filled with something deep. 

“Why do they all hate me? I didn’t ask for this! I try so hard to be everything they need so maybe they’ll keep me around.”

“Phantom?” 

“But they don’t! They always pair off and I’m the odd one out every time! I know they’d rather have Aether. I’m not stupid, but why won’t they just give me a chance?” 

“Phantom.” 

“I know I’m just a waste of resources to them. I know none of them would bat an eye if I just disappeared.”

“Phantom!” 

He stops and stares at you wide eyed, tears running down his face. You gently reach out and hold his cheek in your hand. He melts into the touch as a sob wracks his body. 

“I want you here.”

“But…we just met. Why do you care? Why would you want me?” 

“I could ask you the same. You came to help me without even knowing my name.”

He sniffs “I wasn’t gonna just let you get ripped to little fleshy bits.” 

You cringe a little at his choice of words but continue “I don’t know the full extent of what’s going on but…it sounds like you could use someone to help fend off those bad thoughts.” 

“Like a friend?” 

“Yeah” you smile “Like a friend. We can be alone together. How about that?” 

“I think I need that.” 

You pull him into you and let him lay his head on your chest. You two sit like that for a long time, silently bathing in each other’s presence. You let a few more tears fall from your eyes. For the little ghoul that was so shunned by his pack he had to find comfort in a human who barely knew him. For yourself who had so many people around them but still felt this hole deep inside of your soul. For both of you who found each other. 

You run a hand through his hair when you hear the softest of purrs vibrate through him. It sounds a bit scratchy at first, but soon it turns into an even rumble. You gently shake him.

“Hey it’s getting cold…we should probably find our way back inside.” 

“Oh” his ears droop “Yeah you’re probably right.” 

“Do you wanna…would you maybe wanna stay with me for the night.” 

He instantly perks up “Really? I mean I would love to. I yes I would yes.” 

You both stand and he leads the way once you explain to him that you actually have no idea where you’re at. You take over, though, once into the Ministry. You both curl up under your mound of blankets and spend the rest of the night going back and forth about the things that plague your mind, about the stupid things that make you smile, about each other until you fall into a deep sleep feeling content with the weight next to you, but also the weight that disappeared from your shoulders.

Maybe being alone wasn't so bad if it led you to him.