#Because those animatronics were great to see but

[lediz-watches]

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

To quote or paraphrase Andy Farrant (I watched the stream a few days ago, the wording's not in my head) "It was better than it had any right to be."

This was such a fun movie, though. It was silly popcorn fun with legitimate heart, which is exactly what action adventure movies should be.

I loved the overarching narrative and the way it showed a legitimate found family long before it verbally addressed it. I loved the relationship between Holga, Edgin, and Kira, and that beautiful repeated phrase "I'm gonna bring back your mom".

As someone who loves the idea of DnD but has never had much success with it (I think it's very telling that my favourite DnD stream is Oxventure and I couldn't sit through more than ten episodes of Critical Role), it was so curious how they played this. They didn't (although they very easily could have) show you the rolls, but you could definitely feel them sometimes. I'm not just talking about the Nat20s and NatOnes, but like Simon's player in general is a very good player with such cursed dice. He failed so many saves and had to adjust around them.

I actually wonder how someone who has never played the game would react to some of them, actually. Like, there's a point where Simon gets his foot caught in some cobblestones. To a DnD player, what happened is that it's clearly a failed stealth check followed by several failed saves from everyone to free him. But I wonder if to a non-player whether that seemed like a bit of an arbitrary complication to the story for DRAMA.

But there are, I should point out, very few points where I actually noticed those points that would likely end up as a divide. Mostly, I think, the movie was incredibly accessible.

Like, even painfully DnD tropes. Everyone points out that Xenk is either a DMPC or a player who barely ever gets to play and so is always overpowered so they can be a fun addition. But the actual painfully DnD trope about him is that he's just SO Lawful Good. So lawful that he can only walk in straight lines. But rather than it being specifically a DnD joke, he's a parody of The Perfect Hero. Everyone knows that trope. Everyone can follow that trope.

So the only problem I have with it from an adaption perspective is how twisted and messy the story felt. As a DnD player, it was fine - the players were scrambling to find solutions to a problem and were going on multiple quests to figure out what they would do. But I can definitely see how an outsider might find it all... incohesive.

They're gathering party members > oh, that wasn't good enough.

They're going to search for a helmet > oh, that isn't available.

They're going in search of a hero > oh, he's going to give them a different quest for the helmet.

They've got the helmet but more importantly they have this hero > oh, he's leaving, okay.

They've got the helmet > oh, that won't work.

They're doing a heist > oh, that's not going to work either...

Like, I get it. I FELT it. But I can also see how an outsider might react to it in the same way I originally felt watching The Dark Knight. After a point, plot twists get tedious. And some of these plot threads could have been entire stories on their own rather than quick asides. Everything was a little too shallow in order to fit a lot of story into a twisted adventure.

But that said, I enjoyed it. And I loved the complications in this a lot more than I do in heist movies where it all turns out that it actually went exactly as the grandmaster thief intended all along.

And more than anything, I loved the main arc. I am always a sucker for Found Family, but this was beautiful.

From the very start, the film goes out of its way to SHOW us that Holga and Kira are an unconventional but very real mother and daughter. Holga has a closer relationship with Kira than Edgin does. BUT the story is told from Edgin's perspective, so it repeatedly TELLS us that Holga is Edgin's partner, Kira is Edgin's daughter, and the quest is to bring back Edgin's dead wife so she can be a mother to Kira.

I love that dichotomy SO MUCH. I adore it when stories not only use show and tell cohesively, but make the difference between them a POINT. It was amazing, and something that I think couldn't have been done nearly as well in a written medium, I'm so in awe of how effortless it felt.

That one line was... mmph! Nice job, Mr Pine, nice job making that line hit your character so hard.

AND while I probably can't get into it without going on a whole essay about western ethics re: resurrection, there was something I really appreciated about how the film didn't linger over Edgin's wish and decisions about his wife. This was a DnD campaign. Resurrection is expensive and a pain, but it's a thing that happens, the only issue is Faerun lore about other planes, let's move on.

Last thing I'll talk about is the characters themselves. This was such good casting, and I love the characters and how they're embodied.

I love Holga's unapologetic dumb muscle and how much heart she had. (Side note, Bradley Cooper's cameo was wonderful and heartwrenching and that whole mini-arc is going to quietly stay in my heart for a long while)(Side-side note, I love Bradley Cooper so much more as a supporting character actor than a lead. He's SO GOOD at what he does but lead characters make his arcs overwrought)

I love Simon and Doric's blunt, awkward style and how you can tell they'll work well together but would be hopeless without Edgin's charm and energy to guide them.

I love Edgin, and I LOVE Edgin played by Chris Pine, who balances that charm and quiet desperation and arrogance into one perfect BARD. He was SUCH a BARD, even though he was missing the magic and lore (yeah... Simon fails saves, Edgin fails knowledge checks all. the. time. His dice hate the lore and it's absolutely a running joke at the table). His personality was just embodied Harper bard and it was perfect.

I love Hugh Grant's villain era because I actually find it a very natural evolution of his typecasting. But more than anything, I love that Forge isn't and never was actually evil. He's Neutral. He's selfish and willing to do either good or bad to achieve his goals. He didn't really want his friends to die, and you know, the overall outcome of the scheme was regrettable, but he would get away with money, love, and his life, so... -shrug- And Hugh Grant plays that so well. He's so dry and deadpan and you're never sure whether he's making fun of you or not, and it just works. So it's Nice. I like it. Nice.

But yeah! I could ramble about the things I loved for days, and there are certainly things I would have preferred, but this was actually a really good, really fun movie using DnD rules and tropes.

Good game, Paramount. Well done.

[lace-coffin]

Can I has soft Moonie and Monty gator fic, where reader is perpetually exhausted and the animatronics drag em off when they’re meant to be working to help them get some sleep in the pizzaplex? (Totally not projecting here)

How would Moondrop and Montgomery gator react to an exhausted reader on their shift?

Thank u for the moon and Monty rq I want to eat it up so bad😌

Requests are open!

Reader is gn! No trigger warnings required

Working for the pizzaplex was definitely an experience. A good one? Thats up for debate. No you loved your job, the actual security aspect of it was pretty univentful, flicking through the camera’s of the empty pizza plex. It’s not like any intruders would get far anyway with the security bots at every turn and moon slinking around in security mode. You did however get to see the dumb stuff the animatronics got up to after hours though so that was a plus. If she doesn’t tell that you’re watching YouTube on your shift then you won’t tell how you regularly see chica rummaging the kitchens like a racoon over the cams.

It was a pretty cushy job overall but the hours were vile, working from 12-6 am isn’t great for anyone and essentially becoming nocturnal because of it meant you were either sleeping or exhausted in your free time.

Today was one of the days that you’d turned up essentially half alive, isotonic drink held in a death grip and a pack of pain meds at your disposal. You clock in and slump on the chair In front of the security camera’s, groaning as the pain is taken off your joints.

Moondrop

Naturally moon has been following you to your work station since you clocked in, floating through the shadows of the pizzaplex in a totally normal and not creepy way. No matter how many times you tell him he can just greet you normally and walk you over he still refuses and watches you from afar, you know he cares but emotional vulnerability is difficult for him.

A few hours into your shift you can’t take it anymore, energy drink only doing so much for you. Your head starts to loll in your chair, finally getting a blissful second of rest-

“Morning glowbug!” Moon swings down from the ceiling in the upside down Spider-Man pose, intending and succeeding in scaring the shit out of you just as you were drifting off.

You jump in your seat and land in a pile on the floor on your ass. Once moon stops laughing at your misfortune and you realised it was just him and you weren’t about to get bite of 87’nd you huff at him from your spot on the floor.

“Very funny moon man, hilarious in fact, you do know the door is an option right? Now help me up you nerd” you say in fake irritation, tugging his trouser leg and giving him your hand.

“Everyone’s a critic, bug. I found it fairly amusing”he lends you his spindly hands and pulls you up with a bit more force than necessary, making you stumble. He snickers into the long end of his hat and you shoot him a glare. “Not the day dude”

Moons faceplate rotates at this, non verbally questioning what’s causing your sour mood, you usually love playing with him and whatever is ruining your mood needs to stop immediately because it’s ruining his fun (and maybe because he cares about you but he’ll never admit that)

“I’m fine moon, I’m just sleeping bad again, I’ll survive” you say nonchalantly, dangling your energy drink in your hand and chugging the last of it.

Moons grimaces as he watches you do this, you know he hates those stupid drinks, you feel better for an hour or two and then immediately crash worse than before, usually leaving moon to scrape you off the desk and take over the cameras.

You realise what you’ve done before moon can even get a word out, squeaking and throwing the can back on the desk. “It’s uh, not actually that bad! I’ll be fine, you know me haha, just a little behind on sleep” you stutter over your words trying to back track. You know it’s pointless and moon being the way he is you’re not going to get out of this.

“Oh no, go ahead starlight, drink your sludge. I can’t wait to peel you off the desk later” he drawls out, if his eyes could roll any further back into his head then they would have.

You rise from your chair, hiding behind it like a shield as if it’s going to save you from the inevitable. “You know the drill bug, either you get over here or I’m dragging your sorry ass over here” Moons voicebox fizzles out over the inappropriate word, stupid filters.

“Moon, you know I can’t, I have to finish my shift, I promise as soon as I get home I’ll go straight to bed, no messing” despite trying to placate him moon remains unimpressed, arms folded over his chest. You should probably run.

“Starlight they pay you peanuts, you can take one nap, they’ll survive”

The jester moves down slowly and sits on his haunches like a cat. Moon launches himself at you full speed. You scream and run to the other side of the security office, not much room to run to considering how confined it is in the first place. You yell and giggle as this continues, moon drinking in the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. Over a few minuets you start to get worn out, having no energy in the first place. This gives moon the perfect opening to land a pounce on you and snatch you into his arms, throwing you over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. You playfully kick and complain but you don’t have it in you to actually be upset.

Unsurprisingly you make it to the daycare attendants room in record time, moons huge strides cutting down on time. “You know the drill” moon says as he throws a pair of daycare themed pyjamas from the gift shop at you, hitting you square in the face. You laugh and crawl into the other room through the tunnel to change.

By the time you’ve changed and come back moon has his bed all made and fluffed up and is looking at you expectantly. “Your chariot, my lord” he says dumbly, pulling back the covers and gesturing to the bed. You snort and climb in, snuggling down into the plush bedding. You make a happy noise and look back at moon, taking his big metallic hand in your smaller warm one.

“Thankyou, for this I mean, I really appreciate you caring about me like this, it means a lot”

Moon makes a fake gagging noise but his faceplate tinges a darker blue, telling his real feelings. “Always so mushy starlight” he laughs, but you know he loves the attention.

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?”

“Bold of you to assume I was leaving in the first place”

Moon scooches into the bed and rearranges his limbs into a comfy position, pulling your head against his chest and starting up his music box. He traces little shapes into your palm until you fall asleep for the night.

Montgomery gator

A horrid crash feeds through the security cam speakers. Excellent. You sigh and flip over to gator golf, already knowing who’s most likely to be causing the noise. Sure enough faint mechanical grunting and roaring can be heard. You can’t seem to find Monty on screen though, so it looks like you’ll be taking a trip down to the golf course.

You groan and pull yourself up from your chair, you really don’t have the energy for this tonight.

Not having to look very far you catch Monty red handed a few steps into the golf course. Golf club jammed into the mouth of one of the mechanical gators below the bridge. You pause and just look at him, unamused, waiting for him to explain.

“Uh, howdy twerp, I’m having some…difficulties?” He try’s, almost framing it as a question. You rub your hand over your face in exhaustion and ask him to expand on his problem.

“I uh worked up a rage after screwing up a note in tonight’s show, wouldn’t have happened if stupid fazzass hadn’t bumped into me” he grumbles, getting side tracked complaining about Freddy. “Anyway, I may have taken a swing at one of those gators…it’s turns out once the club is in it’s hard to get it back out” he laughs and rubs at the back of his head awkwardly, hoping your not going to explode on him.

“I love you but you’re a nightmare, green guy”

Monty snorts at the nickname but realises you look a little worn down, your usual bite not as prominent in your banter.

“Are you ok cher? Like you looking after yourself ok? Not to be an ass but you don’t look as with it as usual” he says in a softer tone, a look of genuine concern washing over his face.

“You want the polite answer or the real one?” Monty laughs and asks for the real one. “I’m tired as all hell and I’m essentially a zombie right now, these night shifts are killing me”

Monty frowns at this, he knows the company can be hardasses when it comes to shift patterns, not caring if their employees work themselves to death as long as the schedule is covered.

“So what you’re saying is we’re going to wrestle this stupid club out of that gator and then you’re going to the nest without causing a fuss?” Monty says, phrasing it as an order and not a question.

“I don’t even have the energy to be stubborn, ask moon man to cover for me please”

Monty gives a toothy grin at this and nods his head. You both work on releasing the golf club from its grizzly demise. Combining both your effort and Monty’s unnatural strength you pull the club free! And send it through the window of gator golf…it can wait for the day crew, technically you only came down to remove it from the gator and you’re beyond caring.

Monty throws his arms in the air in celebration. “Nice shot, cher!” You both cackle at the absurdity of the situation until you let out a yawn.

“Ok squirt, let’s get you to bed” he says softly, rosey eyes roaming over your sleepy face. Monty collects you in his arms and makes his way back to his green room, lending you an oversized gator golf shirt to change into. Monty lets out a little huff out of his nose when he sees you in the baggy shirt, adorable.

“Time to hit the hay kid” he pats on the nest he’s made on the floor out of blankets and various plushies/pillows waiting for you to climb in. Once you settle down Monty curls up around you like a big puppy, placing his snoot on your chest. (He’s totally not hoping for some pets before you sleep..)

“I don’t want to hear a peep out of you unless it’s snoring kiddo” Monty grumbles. “Love you to big guy” you hum and pat his nose

You fall asleep wrapped up in the gators tail, your chest rising and falling in time to the gentle bellows rumbling from the now calm and cuddly animatronic.

[itsscromp]

FNAF animatronics x reader

A part 2 to the request which you can find here. This story is inspired by a story that me and my friend who i will credit also for the story did a couple nights ago. It was too adorable not to adapt, so here you guys go. Word count:1.4K

Heading home when 6am hit, you were continuously baffled as to how these animatronics were moving on their own. How they all have personalities and how they could understand you. what's more baffling is that they were protecting you. Not hurting you like those thieves.

So once you got home and rested for a bit, you began to do some research on the place, Learning that 5 kids went missing back in the 80s and the place was shut down because of it. But why did Steven keep you in the dark on that ?? But then you came across something, finding some Reddit forums, theorizing that the kids that went missing, possess the respected animatronics as for who they went to see. Jesus Christ this situation went deeper and deeper.

If these kids possess the animatronics, then chances are they can be able to communicate somehow, You remember from your grandma that before we learned to speak, pictures were windows to our feelings and words, so maybe being able to draw to communicate with them would be a way to talk to them.

Heading back to the pizzeria, you headed inside, this time with a notepad and some pencils. Going to your office and switching on the power, the place buzzed with life once again. Going back to the main entrance you began to draw some scenarios to show them. The first one is you holding hands with them, to indicate that you wanted to be friends with them.

Once you finished with the drawing you then went to the stage where the curtains were already drawn back. You took a deep breath and slowly walked up to the stage.

"Hey... I'm back" You tried to greet them. But they didn't move for a little while until you saw the cupcake on Chica's hand look at you, it started to shake. You immediately got scared as it then disappeared when you had your back turned, you looked around for it before feeling something grasp your ankle, it was the cupcake.

"Gaah !!!" You tried to kick it off... but slowly realised it wasn't biting down real hard. It was more like a puppy's playbite. Chica then saw the cupcake and walked over, retrieving it back to her hand. With that the other animatronics came to life, all looking at you. Happy to see you again.

"Hey..." You chuckled softly as your ankle was freed from the clutches of Mr cupcake as you nicknamed him. Freddy walked up to you and wrapped his arms around you, He missed you as did the others.

"Thanks, Freddy" You felt fuzzy on the inside for how sweet they were all being right now. You then pulled out the drawing that you made and showed it to them. "We can be friends... Yeah ??"

They all looked at the drawing briefly before Foxy was the first to nod his head eagerly. "Woah woah careful there" You chuckled as he was getting a little dizzy. Bonnie had a great idea as he was waving his arms to get your attention.

"What is it, Bonnie ??" You looked up at him. He began to hide his face behind his hands and reappear. "You want to play peek a boo ??" He shook his head no and tried again. "Oh, you wanna play hide and seek ??" He nodded at you, the others all agreeing to play.

"Ok... I'll count, you guys go hide ok ??" You then covered your eyes and began counting. "1... 2... 3..."

You could hear their clunky footsteps as they tried to scramble to their hiding places, Foxy picking Pirate's Cove easily, Bonnie then picked the supply closet. Chica then chose the kitchen. Freddy... He hid right in front of you, covering his eyes thinking if he couldn't see you, you couldn't see him. "8...9...10 !! ready or not here I come !!" You looked around and then saw Freddy in front of you, It took every ounce of you not to giggle at the sight.

"Hmmm, I wonder where Freddy could be ??" You pretended to sound curious as you began to look around the pizzeria, Before sneaking up in front of him and then booping his nose, making it squeak. "Found you, Freddy !!" You smiled

He looked at you with such fond eyes, he held out his hand for a high five from you, which you gladly did. "Come on, let's go find the others." You said as you two began to look for the others, You found Chica soon after, with Mr cupcake ankle biting you again. Freddy then found Bonnie in the supply closet. Now it was just Foxy left, You all looked high and low for him, where could he be. But then you heard some creaking of floorboards on Pirate's Cove, So you snuck to the stage and then swung the curtains open, finding him. "That was an excellent hiding spot Foxy" You smiled as he stepped off the stage, Moving his ears excitedly. He then looked around and then found a pirate hat and placed it on your head. "You wanna play Pirates ??" He moved his ears and mouth excitedly, yes he wants to play Pirates.

"Yarrr, then come along me loyal crew, We be seeking a treasure to find !!" You pointed to the prize stand of the arcade. "But first, a hearty crew needs a hearty ship, Off we go !!!" You and the others began to build the "boat" out of tables and chairs from around the Pizzeria, You rushed into the supply closet and brought back a table cloth to act as a sail, it was by far the most amazing boat in all of animatronic pirate history.

"Onwards me mateys !!" You pointed forward as they began to pretend to do what a pirate does around the ship, as the loyal captain, you began to sing a shanty. "Yarr harr fiddle dee tee, being a pirate is alright with me, do what you want cause a pirate is free. You are a pirate." You turned to Foxy with a smile as he moved his mouth up and down as if singing along with the shanty. "You are a pirate, we got us a map. To lead us to a hidden box that's all locked up with locks and buried deep away. We'll dig up the box, we know it's full of precious booty. First, open the locks and then we'll say hooray !!!" You cheered. Mr cupcake meanwhile acted as the Kraken of the ocean. "Yarr me matey's, we got ourselves a Kraken on the loose, fire the cannons !!!"

Bonnie and chica threw plushies at Mr cupcake as to act as cannonballs, It was working. It was slowing it down. But they were running out of cannonballs fast. Freddy then made the noble sacrifice of then attacking the Kraken cupcake head on.

"No Freddy !!!" The others were shocked as he then fell to the ground, It was done. The Kraken was stopped but at what cost !!!. You all gathered around him and tried to help him. "Yarr... I believe there maybe something that can work. The power of friendship." You wrapped your arms around him as did the others, And with much friendship, Freddy was back !!!.

"Ahoy their matey !!!, Ye be back from Davey Jones's locker !!" You smiled, booping his nose again, making it squeak. And then the grand reward, You all made it to the treasure !!!!. "Ahh, A fine treasure for a fine crew."

You jumped over the counter and looked around. Finding some well-deserved treasure. "A crown for the lovely chica" You smiled as you placed the crown on her head. "And then we have this amazing guitar for Bonnie" You inflated the inflatable guitar and handed it to Bonnie, which he strummed it. "A trophy for the brave Freddy" You handed him the Freddy Fazbear trophy. "And a gold chain for foxy, as every pirate needs" You smiled placing the chain around his neck, But where was your treasure they thought. "Yarr me treasure is me crew, That's all I need in this pirate life" You smiled as you all brought them in for a group hug. This was easily the best night of your life.

But unfortunately, 6am rung on your watch. It was time to go home. The animatronics looked at you sadly. They didn't want you to go home.

"Hey... It's ok, I'll be back soon, don't you worry" You reassured them. "I had a lot of fun tonight" You smiled at them, and they all looked at you with the kindest eyes possible. Picking up your bag and then heading out the door, you waved at them goodbye as did they.

You had so much fun with them, You may even have the best job in the world.

A/N: Mr cupcake is an ankle biter I know it.

Taglist: @callofdudes @fun-k-board

[barefoot-joker]

Birthday Yandere!William Afton X Reader

I smiled as I walked down the sidewalk to my older sister’s work. She had forgotten her lunch because she was helping our younger brother get ready for school. We had all woken up a bit late, so we rushed Isaac out the door before Trish headed out. I’ll admit it was rough with my sister at work, my brother at school and me taking care of the trailer; we never really got time off to spend with each other. That’s why I was happy to bring Trish her lunch, it would finally give us a chance to chat for a minute or two.

It took me a few more minutes to walk the rest of the sidewalk before reaching the parking lot. Before me stood the only pizzeria in town: Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. It was quite the spectacle even now and was very popular for children’s birthday parties. Trish and I had taken Isaac there for his birthday and he absolutely had a blast. I mean what was there not to love? It had an arcade, pretty good pizza, and singing animatronics! I had never seen anything like that before, it was just so fascinating. 

I opened the front door and a little bell went off as I did. Standing by the host desk, I waited for someone to direct me to my sister. “Oh, hello there, Y/n! It’s a pleasure to see you again!”

I looked up to see Henry, one of the owners. Henry was such a nice man. He would watch Isaac and I while we waited for Trish to finish her shift sometimes. He just looked like a teddy bear with his chubby appearance, blonde curly hair and beard, and those black thick rimmed glasses. “Hiya, Henry! Trish forgot her lunch, so I was just delivering it.”

“Oh yeah, of course. She’s a bit busy right now. We had a lunch rush. If you would like, you can wait in the arcade and I can direct her when she has some free time.”

“That would be great. Thanks, Henry!”

“Of course!”

“Mr. Emily, could you come here please”, a female called.

“Excuse me, Y/n.”

Henry walked off to go help, so I headed to the arcade. The blinking lights and loud sound effects was a bit calming to me. It was also fun to see kids be excited over 8-bit pixels. As I watched kids run around, I felt a dark presence looming behind me, almost suffocating. I looked over my shoulder to see a slim figure. I couldn’t quite identify who it was until I fully turned. 

Of freaking course.

The man’s skin was a bit pale, and his brunette locks looked unkempt. While he was slim, he still had a broad figure in the shoulders and the scent of cigarette smoke was slight on his white button up. “Miss Y/n, what a pleasant surprise. It’s so lovely to see you.”

Those gray eyes stared down at me, searching my face for some sort of reaction. I felt a shiver go down my spine. “What brings you here? I haven’t seen much of you lately. Or are you just trying to ignore me?”

A smirk played with the corner of his lips and I couldn’t help the gulp that went down my throat. I absolutely hated running into Mr. William Afton. He creeped me out and made me so uncomfortable. “I was bringing T-trish her lunch. S-she forgot it.”

I didn’t even bother with his other questions. If I had, who knows how Mr. Afton would have responded. “Ah, such a great sister! You know, you remind me of my dear Elizabeth. She does her best to protect Evan from Michael. She makes me so proud.”

Something sinister flickered in his eyes and I took a slight step back. “T-thank you?”

He stepped closer, his breath brushing against my face. Even that felt terrible, the brushing feeling like small claws digging into my flesh. Just as he was about to say something, Trish walked in. “There you are, Y/n! Henry said you’d be in here.”

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Thank God Trish came. She noticed my scared expression and grabbed my hand. Leading me away, I could feel Mr. Afton’s gaze dig into my back. “Thanks for saving me back there, Trish.”

“Of course. Mr. Afton can be a bit creepy at times.”

At times? How about all the time.

To make sure we were far enough away, Trish had walked us over by the host stand. “Now, what is it you came here for?”

“You forgot your lunch at the house again,” I lifted up the brown paper sack.

“Oh Y/n, thanks so much! I completely forgot about it!”

“I know, but you’re a busy lady.”

She gave me a kiss to the cheek. I smiled and looked beyond her shoulder. My eyes widened at seeing Mr. Afton peering through the doorway. His eyes stared at my sister down with such disgust. If looks could kill, she’d be bleeding profusely on the checkered floor. “Well, I’d better get back to work. I’ll see you and Isaac later, okay?”

“Okay.”

She gave me a kiss on the forehead before taking the sack lunch, quickly sauntering off. I could still feel Mr. Afton’s gaze on me, so I left quickly out the front door. 

It wasn’t until 9:00 pm till Trish came home. By then I had retrieved Isaac from school, helped him with his homework, and gotten dinner ready. The three of us sat around the small dining table, munching on some chili. Isaac told us about his school day and Trish told us about work. I just sat quietly. “You know Y/n, your birthday is coming up here in a few weeks. Do you know what you want for a present yet?”

“No and you don’t have to worry. Just being with you two will make me happy.”

“But Y/n”, Isaac replied, “it’s your birthday! You deserve the world!”

I lightly smiled. They were always so sweet to me, but I really didn’t need anything. Quality time with them would be just enough. “At least think it over, okay? Isaac and I want to get you something.”

Trish set her hand on top of mine, giving it a light squeeze. 

“Okay.” I only said that to please them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After we finished eating, we cleaned up dinner. The rest of the night we played a couple rounds of cards before heading to bed.

The next couple of weeks went by normally. Trish and Isaac kept asking about what I wanted for my birthday and I always gave the same response. A couple of times I had to go to Freddy’s to give Trish something. During those visits Mr. Afton was being creepy again. 

His silver eyes seemed softer around me compared to the harshness they held for his employees.

His hands would linger on my shoulder, his touch light and gentle.

I never seeked him out but he always found me in the restaurant. It felt like we had a red string of fate connected to us and he tugged until he was near.

He even suggested I work at the pizzeria, but I immediately turned him down. No way was I going to work alongside him and his creepy behavior.

He just made me feel sick.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time flew by and soon enough it was my birthday. The morning was spent having my favorite breakfast before we headed to the park. We walked around a bit and just had fun. At some point Trish had to leave to get something for later tonight (probably a cake), so Isaac and I headed back to the house. We played some card games, board games, watched TV and read together.

The hours ticked by and while we had fun, we hadn’t heard from Trish. I was starting to get worried. Freddy’s wasn’t too far from our house and she always called when she was on her way home. No, something must have happened.

“Isaac, I want you to stay here. I’m going to go look for Trish.”

“But I want to come with!”

“Somebody needs to be here in case she calls. Can you do that for me?”

He nodded. “Good. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

I gave him a kiss to the forehead and quickly threw on some shoes. Heading out the door, I went as fast as I could to the pizzeria. Please let Trish be okay! Please!

I threw open the front door and skidded to a stop in the middle of the dining room. “Trish! Trish, where are you?!”

Suddenly, the eerie tune of Happy Birthday carried through the halls. I whipped my head around when I heard footsteps, my eyes widening when I saw a yellow rabbit headed right for me. I tried to move but as soon as I did the bunny grasped my hand, tugging me down the hall. “H-hey! Let go of me! Trish! Trish!”

I was dragged down a dim hallway, yelling at this thing to let me go. It opened a door and suddenly we were in a backroom of the restaurant. I was slightly pushed into the room, the door locking behind us. Even though I was frightened of what the rabbit would do, I forced myself to look around the room.

I really wish I hadn’t.

The room had been decorated for a birthday party. Streamers and balloons hung from every possible place; a birthday sign hung on the wall; a small table with a festive cloth sat in the middle with a birthday cake. The candles were lit and sitting next to it was my sister. Her head was tilted towards her chest and her hair blocked her face. “TRISH!”

I ran over and lifted her head up.

My eyes widened.

My breath caught in my throat.

My hands shook.

I let out a shrill scream.

Across Trish’s neck was a deep cut, thick blood running down the front of her shirt. Her eyes were glassed over and she looked like she was in pain. A dark chuckle made me look at the yellow bunny and that’s when I saw the blood stains. “Y-you! How could you?! Show yourself!”

And so it did. The thick gloved hands unclipped the grotesque cartoon head and pulled up.

I could have died right there. 

Standing in front of me with a wide grin was Mr. Afton.

“Surprise~”

“I-I-”

“Speechless? No matter. There will be plenty of time for us to talk, my dear.”

“W-what do you mean? Why did you kill Trish? She never did anything to you!”

He looked offended at that comment. “Of course she did. She kept us apart. Can’t you see? We belong together. After all, I put so much effort into this relationship so far. I’d hate for my flirtation to go to waste.”

I gasped. 

No.

No way was this murderer and I meant to be together!

I ran for the door but Mr. Afton pulled me into a tight embrace against his costume. I screamed and struggled in his grip. He just held tight. “I see you are not in the mood for a party right now. That’s okay. We can have our own celebration at home.”

“LET ME GO! LET ME GO!”

“Sorry about this, love.”

“Wha-”

My head was thrust at the wall and suddenly pain shot through my skull. The room was spinning and soon I blacked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I groaned as my eyes slowly opened. My head was just pounding and the cool cloth on my head was nice. “Finally starting to wake, my dear?”

I peered to my left and saw Mr. Afton sitting in a chair next to the bed I was on top of. He was out of the horrid costume and was now sporting a dark purple dress shirt and dark gray striped pants. “W-where am I?”

“Home.” He let his fingers stroke the top of my forehead into my scalp. 

I whined and tried to move away but the mad man was quick to grab me. He held me down and in my blurry state I tried to get away. “There’s no point in escaping, my love. You are mine and I am yours. We’re going to be together forever.”

“N-no! I don’t want that!”

“You’ll get used to it, my dear.”

“Mr. Afton-”

“Call me William. After all, we're past the formalities phase.”

With that he leaned down and gave my cheek a kiss. I threw my head to the right, not wanting to look at him. However, his fingers wrapped around my chin and forced my head back to him. “I’m being very generous, love.”

That woke me up. 

“Generous? Generous?! You made advances towards me when I made no indication I liked you. Y-you killed my sister for God’s sake!”

I thrashed around and William had to hold me down tighter. “Let go!”

“Come now, darling. Behave. It’s still your birthday, don’t you want to celebrate?”

“Not with you! I hate you! I hate you, William!”

A deep smirk set on his face and his eyes softened. “I love it when you say my name.”

He leaned down and kissed my lips. I struggled against him and bit his lip. He pulled back and licked lip, the blood going into his mouth. He smiled wide.

“Happy Birthday, soon to be Mrs. Afton.”

[moon-buggg]

Job Interview

In which YN has a very promising interview. Haunted house au drabble

no warnings apply

The interview had been going great. Possibly the best you've ever had. You're extremely excited about your prospects getting this job.

The only thing that's thrown you off so far is the twelve foot tall robotic clown hunched over in the corner.

"Just ignore him," the man interviewing you, the director of the haunt, had said, "I like to have him around for interviews. Weed out those not suited for this work."

You could see the logic there, anyone too freaked out being in a well lit room with the star attraction probably wouldn't be a good fit for the haunted house. Even if it did make it hard to concentrate.

"Now, ah, I should warn you. The part you've applied for does involve acting very closely with the animatronics, including letting them touch you."

"I thought they couldn't touch people?" It had been a big part of the marketing hype around the haunt, how the robotic scare actors were completely safe because they literally could not touch a guest- their code prevented it.

"They can't." The director responds easily, "you're the exception."

When you simply continue to stare at him blankly, your potential new boss continues. "We can't have the robots grabbing guests- its a safety issue, same with regular actors." The metallic clown crouched in the corner giggles, and you can't help but glance over at him. The director continues, unbothered.

"Now, I'm not a computer guy, but as I understand it, it was easier to make the things avoid touching everyone than it was to single out guests." The director leans against his office wall, shaking his hand dismissively.

"The one exception being you." The ambient eerie soundtrack that plays throughout the attraction filters into the small office. "Provided you get the role, of course."

"Huh," is all you can say.

"Scenes feel too fake otherwise. It uh, it wasn't scary enough, you know?"

"Sure," you can't help your eyes from drifting back to the animatronic- a giant thing, all sharp edges and hard metal, long limbs contorted and wrapped around itself- only to find two milky eyes staring back at you.

You can't seem to break his gaze, even as the director continues.

"I can assure you it's perfectly safe, all the scenes are scripted and rehearsed, so there won't be any surprises." The clown giggles again, the sound crackling out of speakers in his chest. "Of course, we could always look into another position for you if you aren't up for it."

The words finally make you break your little staring contest, turning to the director. "I don't think it will be a problem."

[ennard-is-near]

Some Michael Afton headcanons and crack theories and whatnot

🚨 warning, If you know me irl (You know who you are, I see you) be aware that I’m not serious hahahahaha I would never be cringe hahaha 🚨

Okay, here we go:

Kid/Teenage hcs:

He’s super quiet after The Bite of ‘83. Like won’t talk to anyone or answer most questions outside of occasional one word answers. [I’ve talked about this before]

He was 13 during the Bite of ‘83.

Wasn’t really popular or a bully or anything before the Bite of ‘83. He was just like, a regular kid whose dad was well-known. It’s like if the mayor’s son was in your class or something. Yeah he’s kind of an asshole, but so is every middle school boy.

Ppl tend to avoid him after The Bite just because if you had the choice between talking to the guy who killed his brother or not doing that, you’d probably pick the latter. People felt bad for him or whatever but it’s not like they wanted to befriend him.

Cannot drive because he just never learned (William was NOT about to teach him). He walks most places.

I know this is semi-canon but he likes drawing stuff. He’s not very creative though, so he mostly draws what he sees around him. He ends of up drawing a lot of animatronics and TV show characters.

Mowed lawns and washed cars around the neighborhood for money when he was like 11-12. William was the type of dad who didn’t give pocket change and made his kids work for their own money. Michael wasn’t great at his neighborhood jobs though so people only hired him if they had money to give away and were willing to go through and fix the spots he missed.

The rest of these are Post-Scoop:

The FNaF 3 hallucinations are like a semi-regular issue for him. He occasionally just sees shit. Doesn’t have to be phantom animatronics, though. Can be more chill (by comparison lol) and like people he knew just standing there, weird shadows (especially in reflections) and sounds and voices. [I‘ve talked about this before too, sorry]

Really scared of the dark. Lights on in every room + flashlight on him at all times scared.

The power went out in his house a couple times when it snowed and (even though it didn’t get pitch black because of light from the windows) he did not like it.

He’s also the master of batteries, they’re scattered all over the house.

His power bill is so much. Like you’d drop dead if you saw it. TV and lights and air conditioning on 24/7 drive it up. His water bill is virtually nothing, though, so that’s good.

Doesn’t have issues with money because he has access to William’s bank account somehow.

Still lives in the house he grew up in. I just feel like he does.

Sort of has an issue with animals. They do not like him and will bark at and attack him whenever given the opportunity. He’s literally a dead body and animals tend to not like those. Birds will literally swoop down and attack him sometimes. He has fought two raccoons.

Absolutely a creature of the night. Only leaves the house past midnight and is back before sunrise. This is for a couple reasons, mostly just because there’s less happening at night. He carries a flashlight around when he goes out though bc he’s so scared.

Has like one guy who he’s on good terms with. It’s some random graveyard shift worker at the local corner store. He goes to the same store like every Tuesday or whatever and it’s always the same guy working there. They don’t even say that much to each other but they’re still buddies. When Michael works at the FNaF 1 location the employee is actually kinda sad because he doesn’t come in that week and he’s really confused as to where that guy could have gone or if he finally died or something. And then Michael comes in the next week and the routine continues and the employee will never know what happened that one week the weird guy didn’t come in.

Okay that’s it. <3

[mothytheghost]

Digging into Suns Character

Hello!. Today I wanna look into Suns character and how he is compared to how the fandom see's him.

I've seen people say he hates adult and enjoys working with kids or the opposite like He hates handling children.

In my opinion he truly has respect for everyone equally. We need to remember the Virus.

When Vanny took over. It caused Glamrock Freddy to shut down and made the others have a change.

Chica actually tried to help Freddy if you pay attention to the beginning cut scene of them performing.

Roxanne Wolf was an emotional mess and tried to push herself to be the best and dragged herself through it.

But when Cassie put on the Mask. Roxy was kind and knew Cassie loved carrot cake.

Cassie had a great time at the daycare as well and loved it there. Meaning Sun and Moon actually took care of the kids.

But because they were mixed up. It caused Sun to become a nervous wreck and probably knew something was wrong with him because Moon acted off. Leading to the problem Moon scared a child. And this report was probably at the same time when Freddy shut down and they had to stop the concert without realizing the animatronics acted weird.

Like Chica eating trash when she never eats trash. She was made to eat pizza around the kids so they can be around her because she's cool to them.

I do believe these animatronics are kind like Glamrock Freddy. But what Vanny did made them messed up to the point their programming didn't fit with them.

Turning them into wild animals and go out of control

When you use the fazwrench. They Actually become nicer again when you Rebooted Sun and Moon into Eclipse. and Roxy to her brave and calmer self.

Now looking into HW2 the animatronics sure seem to be like in security Breach. Chica was still trying to eat. Roxy was a bit tempered and Moon is very vicious. Meaning HW2 as base to where Security Breach started and the Virus is still around.

Looking into Sun. Not only he was a Daycare Attendant. But was originally a theater animatronic for Fazbear Theatre.

Sun and moon had interacted with kids and adults in the past and was actually respectful and kind and they wanted them to also be a part of Superstar Daycare because they trust Sun and Moon. But they Couldn't get Eclipse because they would have to get rid of Moon.

I love Sassy Sun but I do believe he only became Sassy just for making others laugh. It's his comedic side with the lines. "If I was programmed to fix it. It would of already be fixed"

If that made you laugh or chuckle then that's his way of being comedic.

Sun isn't a bitch or whatever you guys think lol.

I think Sun wasn't in his right programming. Like the virus in his coding was messing him up and overusing comedic acts to the point he is not realizing he Shredded your work Or snapping at you. I believe Sun didn't mean to do those things he wasn't himself because of what's infecting him.

Think of a computer. When you get a virus it won't stop giving pop ups or random jumbles. I truly believe Sun is like the computer we mentioned. The more infected he is the more his system overuse his jokes to the point he's not realizing what he's doing anymore

[peachymilkandcream]

Movie!William Afton x Evelyn -> Night Terrors

(A/N: No request was given for this one BUT the prompt is: What if WIlliam used the animatronics to keep her scared that they were coming for the family if she left so she lays awake at night terrified and seeing things and he helps comfort her? ;) This one spoke to me as someone who's afraid of the dark as an adult XD Hope y'all enjoy, after this one I'm going to bed I've been writing a lot today XD As always this is not canon to Break Me Slowly, Evelyn is just my go to OC and I like seeing her get railed what can I say.)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, power imbalance, age difference, etc.

===========================================

Evelyn stared at the ceiling, that was all she could do, stare and listen for the sounds in the halls, terror gripping her as her mind filled in the blanks and she could almost hear the haunting clank of metal. It was all in her head, she knew it, she knew it deep down, but the small part of her wondered just how much was her mind or reality. Sweet, sweet William was a brilliant man, but she couldn't deny how much his creations terrified her. Her life had become nothing but terror in the wake of the accidents that claimed the lives of her two children.

Of course he was sound asleep, in dreamland thinking of some other brilliant scheme to regain their previous financial standing. Her heart her because she wanted to tell him that she didn't care about that, she'd give it all up to have him and their children back. However she knew she could never say anything, he was her husband after all, she couldn't just question him. He had given her the future that she had, she couldn't just bother him with her stupid opinions.

Evelyn knew better than to wake him, but the shadows in the dark room started to look like they came alive. Pulsating and moving closer to her, horrifying amalgamations of those cute creatures that brought so many children joy back in the day. William was usually such a sound sleeper, he probably wouldn't even wake up as she slid closer and cuddled into his back.

She felt slightly better, the fear wasn't as prominent with the warmth that he radiated. He was all that she had in this world, William had told her this often, especially since her two living children has selfishly abandoned them because they couldn't give their father the respect he deserved.

A small smile crept onto her face as she cuddled in closer, her movements just a little too much which made him stir and wake up, rolling over to her. His smile matching hers as am arm snaked around her waist, feeling her curves and giving her ass a little squeeze that he made sure she didn't miss.

"Sleep troubles my love?" His hand squeezed harder, and at this close proximity she could feel his intentions through his pants. "I can help you with that." He starts to climb on top of her until he notices her discomfort. "What's the matter?"

"It's fine William I really just don't, want to-"

His smile vanishes, a look of warning coming into his eyes. "Excuse me?" He always gave her one chance to change her tune, and she knew what would happen if she refused.

"Nevermind, that sounds great."

His smile returns, leaning over her and kissing her neck. His beard was uncomfortable on her skin, but with the way his tongue soothed the spots his teeth bit it was worth it. William's happiness was all that was important, and having time like this was rare, she should be appreciative that he was even willing to sleep with her. Therefore she made sure to arch her back and moan extra loud, it was fake, it was all fake, but neither of them cared. The way he gripped her thighs with such desperation made her feel more alive and younger than she had in years, even if she still wasn't that old compared to him.

William took his time worshipping every inch of her, in the past he would have never done this, but with how well she had made things for him how could he not spoil her every once and a while? She put up with his narcissistic and erratic personality and at least claimed to love him in return, sucking on her breasts until she pulled his head down for more was the least he could do.

She was so wet as he pumped one finger and then two inside her, the slight winces of pain from the extra stitch he made her get with each of the pregnancies not slowing him down in the slightest. It wasn't like she had a choice anyway, she never had a choice. Even now she was still tight, fitting him perfectly as he slid in, he truly believed she was built for him, built to be used by him and to stay by his side through all of the horrors he subjected everyone he encountered to.

With each thrust the fear surrounding her seemed to fade a little more, the shadows moved less and less as the passion built more and more. She wasn't sure what it was about William, but the way he was set her on fire like never before, he was like a drug, if he wasn't giving her some kind of drug already.

It took no time for her to spasm and climax around him, holding onto his arms desperately and whimpering out his name as she rode out her high, his hot cum filling her not long after as they held each other in their arms. Whether it was his presence or the liquid dripping out from between her legs Evelyn wasn't sure, she just knew that for once the world was still. And as he held her firmly against his chest she could finally drift into a peaceful sleep.

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

In Defense of the FNAF Movie…

I was thinking about the FNAF Movie again today and I wanted to go on a little tangent if that's alright with y'all lol.

I know most fans enjoyed the movie, which is great! But I did see some fans, especially some OG fans, who did not like the movie at all, saying it didn't take itself seriously enough, it was too campy, it wasn't scary enough, and it didn’t follow the lore. I can understand those criticisms to an extent. But as an OG fan myself, I think the movie captured the tone of FNAF perfectly.

FNAF at its core, is silly. The concept of kid-friendly animatronic characters that are mascots for a Chuck E Cheese type restaurant being possessed is a ridiculous concept. Granted, how they became possessed is where the horror of the franchise comes into play. FNAF was never all campy or all horror, it was always a mix of both, even in the first few games, just based on the concept alone.

I think too many people expected it to be really scary, but I believe that was the wrong perspective. There were jumpscares in the games, yeah, but I think the most prominent emotion from the early games would elicit dread, not horror. I went into the movie knowing it would be campy and goofy, but I also knew there would be some horror aspects. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FNAF IS!

I think if the movie took itself too seriously, no one else would, because fans know it’s not an overall serious franchise. This is the same franchise that brought in Exotic Butters and MPreg in one of their books! That’s not to say that there aren’t serious subjects in the game; a serial killer, multiple child murders, grusome deaths, loss of family members; the game is not all sunshine and rainbows.

But what I think FNAF does as a whole is mix those horror aspects with its campiness really well. You can’t have one without the other in this series. And that’s what I think the movie did a great job with. I don’t think I would have enjoyed it as much if it was too serious or if it relied on humor alone. Don’t get me wrong, this was not a perfect movie, there were definitely things that needed improvements. But I don’t think the tone was one of them.

At first I was a little disappointed that the movie wouldn’t be rated R, but now I can appreciate why they stuck to PG-13 instead. FNAF has never been bloody or gory, any deaths that would occur in the franchise would be off-screen or portrayed in the 8-bit mini games. I think the only time we see blood is during the springlock failure in FNAF 3, and again, it was 8-bit blood. Most of the horror is left up to the imagination of the viewer, which in my opinion, is a lot scarier than just outright showing you what happened. Fear of the unknown is extremely powerful.

The last point I wanna bring up is the fact some people do not like the deviation from the game’s lore. Need I remind you, this is not the first time the franchise has done this. The books have their own separate lore! Some of it lines up with the games, a lot of it doesn’t. But what all of these continuities have are animatronics who are possessed by children who were murdered by William Afton; that is the core story of FNAF no matter if you’re playing the games, reading the books, or watching the movie. They each take their own liberties in telling different versions of the story, but they all revolve around the same main focus. In my opinion, I think it would have been a little boring to see the movie play out one for one like the games, especially considering how confusing and convoluted the game lore is!I’m curious as to where they will go in future movies!

I can see why general audiences and critics would not like this movie, because they wouldn’t understand the tone that it was going for. They wouldn’t get the references or the story beats that the fans would. But it wasn’t really made for them, which is fine! I think the movie we got was really great, not a masterpiece, but just a really good adaption of what FNAF is: a campy horror game. And I’m looking forward to see where they take it next!

Also, if I hear one more person complain about the “Building a Fort” scene in the movie, I will gnaw your arm off. I’m happy we actually got to see the ghost children ACTING LIKE GOD DAMN CHILDREN!

[get-rammed]

How would the animatronics react if someone started flirting with their handler? A guest at the Pizza Plex or whatever

We're doin' em ALL

At least all the ones I care to do rn

--

Montgomery - Man likes a little competition. Won't hesitate to start hitting on his Handler and the person flirting with them. See who he can fluster worst first. Someone is gonna back out, and he's gonna make sure it ain't him.

If it's a member of staff hitting on his Handler, and he overhears or sees, he's absolutely telling everyone later that night. Loves some good tea. And he's awful at keeping secrets.

--

Freddy - Patiently wait for the interaction to be over. Fidgeting and just generally making the situation tense as he just stands there, shifting his weight from foot to foot, playing with his hands and claws. He has no idea what to say or do.

Someone please help, he has social anxiety.

When the interaction is over, depending on his connection to his Handler, he might be more or less nosy on asking how his Handler feels about the person who flirted with them.

Members of staff hitting on his Handler is gonna get hit with. "Hi, I apologize, but this isn't a work related issue, so I must ask you to not disrupt my Handler." and shoo them away.

--

Roxy - She's going to pointedly look them up and down and decide if they're worth her Handlers time. Great wingman. If her Handler makes it obvious they're kinda into the person, she'll make a grand show of how they pass her test and are worthy to hit on her Handler. Unless the person's personality is bad. Then she's going to loudly judge.

When it comes to staff she's a little more tense. She's witnessed a lot of drama come out from messing around at work or behind people's back. So she might be a bit harsh towards staff hitting on her Handler. Try to shoo them off before just walking away.

--

Chica - Bold of them to starting hitting on her Handler while she's right there. She's a lot like Monty and Roxy in the sense, she'll loudly judge the person. Then she'll start hitting on them and her Handler. "I have two wings ya know."

She generally doesn't care one way or another when it comes to flirting from customers or staff towards her Handler. Just likes to be a dick.

--

The Daycare Attendant (each function is a little different) -

- Sun - His Handler has been hit on a few times while guests were coming to retrieve their kids. While he thinks that is the least attractive place to hit on someone, he's not going to judge. Loudly anyways. Quietly though he's telling Monty and Roxy everything.

If it's a member of staff hitting on his Handler on the other hand he'll make a little jab before walking off.

- Eclipse - As he's the more idle mode, he's seen a lot less interactions between his Handler and guests or other staff members. But the few he has witnessed, he generally cringed at. Because they had no charisma to be hitting on his Handler like that.

Might start to flirt with his Handler after just to lowkey prove a point to himself that he can do it too.

- Moon - He's a lot quieter and generally just watches the interaction happen. Wait till the other person is gone to ask his Handler for their feelings on the interaction. Man's gotta KNOW how they felt about it.

Likes the gossip, so if it's a staff member, he's absolutely telling Monty after hours and everyone is gonna know by the morning. Because those boys cannot keep secrets. Glitched coding changes that a bit which is another tell to their Handlers shits a bit weird. In the sense Moon is suddenly able to lie flawlessly.

--

DJMM - He has two Handlers and they interact with a lot of guests who tend to be older. So they're both hit on quite often.

It doesn't phase him much as he can tell when his Handlers are serious in a flirt back or not. Which usually their responses are just polite flirting back.

Sometimes he might roast staff members who are hitting on his Handlers. Loudly. Across the speaker system. Do not tempt fate if you're not willing to get picked on for the next week.

[solleilx]

SFW Alphabet of Sun& Moon:

Note: Hi, I guess yall didn't expect me writing this lol. Also this is my first time writing SFW of Sun & Moon. Lots of bad grammar and I'm suck at understanding love so it might be bad!! And also Im bad at words hhh, English isn't my first language🤧 Just wanna drop it here for everyone ;p Reader is GN just so some of yall don't feel left out🫡 And I'm lazy and pretty much don't have time so only A to M. Enjoy XD Inspired by: purple-plum-petals!! I'm very obsessed with her writing so check her out

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) ♡Sun: Affectionate, yes I mean like a lot... But only if you're comfortable with it, of course.(Tell him, alright?) He doesn't dare to make you sad or frown at his teasings, it's just...Cruel since it was you. Instead, the guy would hug you, pulling your small form to his chest with that exhaled sigh of his. It’s just his way of showing you that he does care, just bad at showing you his love for you. ☆Moon: He shows his affection by making things for you or comforting you when you have bad days. He knows he can't help much but at least he was trying, he just doesn't like you being sad. He wanna sees that smile of yours, always so adorable and brightens his days. And he would do it until he sees it B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) ♡☆Sun & Moon: First off, they would be such a great friend. Though, being friend with them both already hard enough considering how they held some.. grudges toward adults. The friendship at first is so so so awkward as Sun always gives you the odd stare, unamused at your presence. And when Moon takes over, it becomes more awkward as the animatronic only ignores you. Never wave, never talk or whatever. •But with enough patience and kindness, they will welcome you with open arms. Tho, having them as friends means that Sun’s nagging will be lessened and Moon will keep his eyes on you in case you’re overworking. They now view you as one of their special friends! (The children do count) C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle? ♡Sun: Mocks you if you ask. “Cuddle? Well, aren't you clingy today??"

But still, he pulls you to his chest when you're about to walk away with a frowning face, saying how you’re so easily to be tricked by those words of his as he runs his hand through your hair, never wanting to let you go. And yet, he knew it was impossible knowing you have so many tasks and cannot stay here that long, the solar animatronic reluctantly lets you go with a strained smile on his face!

"Go do your job. I'll be waiting when you're done. Don't overwork, ok?"

☆Moon: You don’t dare to ask unless Moon wants to. He just wasn’t used to this kind of thing judging how some kids, the STAFF members always stay away from him because of how scary he is. But sometimes, you ask if he wants one whenever he feels sad. And the answer is always ‘yes’ with him pulling you to his chest with your neck on his shoulder. Deep down inside, the lunar animatronic wishes to be loved, he wants the attention that Sun had. He wants to know what it feels like to be surrounded with praises and hugs, not those glaring eyes and the pure darkness, how no one welcomes him and always calls him a monster:<. It’s just...So cold. And lonely (Yall, my grammar gone STOP) D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) ♡Sun: okay...About the cooking part, he isn’t sure about his abilities when it comes to cooking. He would just stare at you as if you were stupid for asking him to cook for you. Would leave it to you or Moon to handle, he’s out. ☆Moon: Pretty good. Since his system or whatever the fuck it is can access to the Internet, he can just follow the instructions and boom. A delicious food for you. Though, he did a great job, right right?? E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) ♡☆Sun & Moon: No, they actually won’t break up with you. Buttt..There could be a possibility. If you did something bad or just whatever the fuck that is negative or just so incredulous to them both, that will be changed. But well since you treated them both very nicely anddd equally, they won’t and always stick by your side till thick and thin. F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) ♡Sun: Doesn’t think about it since-! First of all, he was made to entertain children and can’t leave the Daycare so the thought of marrying you...well, never came to his mind. But it’s quite nice..He does dream of being domestic with you, able to take care of and love you, etc... Just some thoughts already made his day! ☆Moon: Doesn’t know what to say about it. Well ..He does like the thought of it but it’s just..he can’t leave and has to stay here like his counterpart, Sun. Yet there's a thought that lingers on his mind... Will you love him the way he loved you? Still, the thought of marrying you, adopting a child and living together in a small house always made him feels slightly flustered 🤧🩷 G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?

Sun & Moon: Very gentle! They both were made to calm the children down if they're panicked, etc...So whenever you feel like you want some assurance words or anything, they're always there.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

♡Sun: Very much like it. But only do it when he has your consent! If you don't like physical touch, he has another way to show you his love, he would never and ever want to make you comfortable and that would be the last thing. I hc his hugs to be very comforting like you can't help but melt when this jester hugs you 😞. And gosh, you swear if he could smirk, he would definitely do it to show how proud he is for making you happy.

☆Moon: Rarely do it. As I've said before, he wasn't used to this kind of thing. But his hugs though, more comforting and warmer than Sun (cause he's a Naptime Attendant), it makes you wanna fall into a deep slumber while being cradled by Moon. Oh how he loves you so much that he wanna protect you from this cruel world.🥲 I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) ♡Sun: Doesn't say much. But occasionally, he randomly says it in a nonchalant tone. And he would get a bit flustered when you say it back. Sun hates the fact he's such a softie for you when you tease him, maybe because you're his partner. (Yes.)

☆Moon: This guy takes more time to say it. It's because there's always some thought that keeps FUCKING BOTHERING HIM. Is he being cheesy? Too rush? Or anything? Is he being too clingy? Would you think badly of him?

"Moon?" "Hmn....?" He looks away in embarrassment when you notice that he's spacing out. And you asked if he's alright... to which he replies that he's simply fine and nothing more. He doesn't want you to know about his thoughts.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

♡Sun: Gets pretty sour quickly when you're being flirted by other parents. Not at you but at the parents. How dare they do that when you're literally his partner? Shocking, stupid, such things can't be accepted! But it's okay, he can just tell you some kids ended up fighting just so you could handle it. Then he went to the parents and warned them to stay away from you. Making them run away with his threats. You belong to him and Moon only! No idiots are allowed to flirt with you.

☆Moon: Scared the fuck out of the parents with his eyes if they made you uncomfortable, ink ink inkyyy eyes. He can get jealous easily like Sun too and you kinda hmm...aware of that!

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

♡Sun: Can't kiss you because of his frozen ass grin. But would make a 'mwah' sound as he planted a kiss(or put his stupid circle plate) on your forehead, then later would tease you with anything that came to his mind. But his kisses tho...Imagine he has a movable mouth or lips, his kisses would be very warm and always leave you speechless. Always give you kisses every morning or when you two meet cause he's a sucker for your attention and giggles >3. As for where he wants to be kissed, he kinda likes when you kiss his cheeks hehe. ☆Moon: Always so gentle and makes you feel fuzzy inside 🥰His kisses are very comforting, I had to admit like how can you not giggle at it when he kisses you? And he also likes his cheeks being kissed like his counterpart too hehe. L = Little ones (How are they around children?) ♡☆Sun & Moon: Literally good around them cause firstly, they were made to entertain children with all sorts of activities, arts & crafts, etc,...Secondly, they both literally have the patience of a saint around the kiddos(but not for adults...Sad). Sun is very good at handling children and the same goes for Moon. They both are very protective of them and always want the best for every child, ensuring their safety is what they both would do. So if by any chance you want to adopt a child or more, Sun & Moon are the best fathers 👀. So you don't need to worry about it and just let your idiot boyfriends handle it! • M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) ♡Sun: Gently shake you awake and when you do, he kisses your forehead! Every morning, he always does that just because he's a fool in love with you. Though if you're too lazy to wake up, he immediately scoops you up in bridal style and goes to the kitchen. He never wants you to miss out on any breakfast, it's all for your health after all. ☆Moon: Doesn’t like it much mainly because the light irritates him. He wishes it was always nighttime just so he could cuddle with you, hearing your heartbeat and all. But such things…Well, kinda impossible because you have so many works to tend to. You couldn't stay here that long so it's always such a pity seeing you left. But before you leave, he would give you his morning kisses with his hands cupped your face and put his faceplate on your forehead. And there's his kiss, now go and work, silly! He's rooting for you. N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) ♡Sun: Somehow, he hates nights. Mainly because he had to drag you to bed when you're overworking. Do humans really have to ruin their health? Won't that affect their body, life and ages? Isn't that so stupid...to ignore your own health? His mind would ask this question repeatedly. And yet, your stubborn ass still insists to stay awake, which he had to take your laptop/phone away for the sake of your health. Putting it in a high place just so your tiny hands won't be able to reach it, hah! ☆Moon: After Sun managed to convince you to go to sleep, Moon takes over. "What did I tell you, Starlight...? No overworking at night." He chides softly, giving a soft flick on your forehead as a warning for not taking care of yourself and also disobeying the rules. But seriously, he would just sigh and tell you to go to bed as he sleeps beside you. And if you have insomnia, he would tell you a fairy tale. But little did he know that his voice was enough, his gravelly voice that always comforts you, it always manages to make you fall into a deep slumber as a lullaby song from his chest cavity started to play, his hand playing with your hair while he watches you sleep 0and how your chest going up and down. He just wanna make sure that you're real and this isn't a dream.🥹

[starsfic]

Long Xiaojiao, Night Guard

Summary: After an argument with her parents, Xiaojiao decides to cut herself off. However, that means moving into a different place, and that's not feasible with her savings. So, Xiaojiao decides to get a job.

Hopefully, this American pizza joint will be nice.

AO3/Ko-Fi

-_-

“I can’t believe you did that.”

“Neither can I,” Long Xiaojiao groaned, fisting a hand in her hair. For once, her phone wasn’t in her pocket. It was upstairs on Xiaotian’s bed, buzzing with so many missed calls and texts with one familiarity. They were all from her family.

Well, former family.

“What even happened?” Xiaotian asked, passing her a bowl of noodles, the smell deliciously fragrant and a balm on her nerves. “You told me a month ago that you guys were doing fine.”

Xiaojiao sighed, picking up the chopsticks. She was glad it was slow today. If Xiaotian wasn’t here, she was pretty sure she would do something stupid. “Well, I went over for breakfast, and we kinda started talking about my summer plans. Well, my dad asked if I was planning to go back to college any time soon and…” She knew that the fact that she had dropped out of college was a sore spot for her parents, but she had hated college. She had gotten all the qualifications to be a mechanic that moment she dropped out, but her parents hadn’t been impressed. “Things went downhill from there.”

“So bad that you decided that you have to move out?”

“I kinda have to,” Xiaojiao loved her swanky apartment, but she had to cut herself off in all ways. “It’s technically under my parents’ names, even if I pay rent. Plus, the landlord’s friends with my dad, which is why I had such low rent.” Thankfully, she had enough savings for the down payment and the first month’s rent for something smaller, a little more worn down, but decent, after some looking. (Did she really need that third monitor?) “Don’t worry about it, I have a few places in mind.”

“I could talk to Red,” Xiaotian offered, his smile bright. “You’re his best friend, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind-”

“Dude, Red’s already got issues dealing with Pigsy flipping his lid over you moving out,” She had not witnessed the announcement, only heard that Pigsy attempted to whack Red with the wok. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry. My only concern is finding a job.” Streamer money alone couldn’t fill up her bank account.

"Oh!" Xiaotian said, smiling brightly. "That'll be easy for you!"

"Yeah!" She was Long Xiaojiao, mechanic qualified, smart, and popular. "How hard will it be?"

-_-

Fuck Qi Xiaotian.

Fuck him and getting all her hopes up.

Of course he had an easy time of it. The moment he was old enough, Pigsy hired him to help out around the noodle shop with great pay, the softie. She should've asked Pigsy; it would've been easier than having the honestly brutal amount of rejection emails pop up in her inbox.

Most places didn't exactly like the idea of people dropping out of college because they were bored. Most places saw her as wasting time waiting for a job position that Daddy and Mommy promised her. Others just weren't looking for anyone anymore and simply hadn't taken down the ads yet. At least those were nice enough to say sorry.

Xiaojiao was honestly prepared to beg Red or Pigsy for a job when another email popped in.

And this one was more than excited to welcome her.

Maybe a little too excited, when Xiaojiao stepped into Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.

From what the owner had explained, they were in the process of moving in, and she could see that with all the boxes everywhere. But the place still looked incredibly worn down for all its newness. None showed that more than the four animatronics standing on the stage.

Long Xiaojiao had done some research, she wasn't that dumb. Apparently, Fazbear Entertainment had started in the United States, and had quickly developed a reputation. Now, they were moving to China, hoping to escape the ghost stories and accusations of murder. Said stories surrounded the four she eyed.

Freddy Fazbear, the bear himself, stood in the middle, holding a microphone. Bonnie the Bunny and Chica the Chicken stood on either side of him like bodyguards. Foxy the Pirate held his hook up as if in the middle of telling a grand tale. All of their eyes were closed and their heads slumped, like they had fallen asleep on their feet.

“But they’re probably just stories,” Xiaojiao sighed. “You guys look like you couldn’t hurt a fly!”

"Oh, hello!" Xiaojiao nearly jumped at the English interrupting her study, turning to reveal a pretty blonde woman hovering next to the stage. She blinked emerald eyes before awkwardly chuckling. "I'm...sorry, hello," she said in shaky Mandarin. "Do you speak English?"

"Yeah, I do," One of the things she was glad her parents had forced her to learn. "Although your Mandarin sounded pretty good."

The woman shook her head. "No, no, I'm still learning. This move was a sudden decision, so I needed to pick it up quickly." She held out a hand, and Xiaojiao shook it. Her grip felt weirdly weak. "I'm Vanessa Shelly, the owner of the restaurant."

"Oh, nice to meet you. I'm Long Xiaojiao, I'm here for the staff position?"

"Yeah, I figured," Vanessa chuckled, the awkwardness slowly easing out of the noise. "Let me give you a tour, and I can give you a laydown of the situation."

The tour wasn't that long. There was one big dining hall- the room Xiaojiao had entered- a slightly smaller arcade and prize room, two small rooms for private birthday parties, two halls that connected in the kitchen, Parts and Services/storage, and the guard office.

"The office is where you'll be spending the most of your first two weeks," Vanessa explained, allowing Xiaojiao to take in the space. It was small, with buttons next to both doorways. A small fan chugged away next to a tablet and computer, cooling down nothing. "My brother is still in Utah, handling business matters there, but once he gets here, he'll be handling the night guard business."

"Okay, that's good to know," She had worried about that part, not wanting to lose too much time with Xiaotian. Two weeks was manageable. But, those buttons looked weird. She nodded, but her mind was on the buttons. "What do these do-?"

"Wait, wait, WAIT-!" Xiaojiao pressed the button, and a door came crashing down. There was a thud outside, probably from Vanessa jumping back to avoid being cut in half. Xiaojiao blinked at the thick metal door before pushing the button. The door slid back up, revealing Vanessa. She was against the wall, her eyes wide.

"Sorry," Xiaojiao said, stepping forward and helping Vanessa from her lean against the wall. "Are you okay?" Her hands were callused and strangely cold, but her emerald eyes were warm.

Vanessa didn't answer for a moment, eyes locked on their hands. Finally, she pulled away, managing another awkward laugh as her fingers dug into her purple work shirt. "I'm fine. Don't worry. Sorry, I should have warned you about the doors."

"Yeah..." Now that she thought about it, those doors seemed more like something from a military base than a pizza place. "Why do you guys have bombproof doors?"

"They were something from the old place," Vanessa explained, stepping back into the office. Her destination turned out to be a worn yellow locker Xiaojiao hadn't noticed. She opened the door and reached inside. "My brother insisted on it, in case the animatronics..." She shut the door, revealing she held a work uniform. "Misbehave." Ah, right, ghost stories. "Anyway, here is your uniform!"

Xiaojiao took it. This at least looked new, with the buttons all shiny and a shiny new name tag sitting on top with her name. The keys were already on a keychain, hanging from the pocket. "Thanks."

"Now, how about I get the gang to say hello before you head out?" Vanessa was already pushing past, her shoulder gently bumping Xiaojiao. "We want you well rested for your shift tomorrow, right?"

Hello?

Xiaojiao followed Vanessa back to the main dining hall, finding her boss standing in front of the animatronics. She clapped her hands together. "Okay, guys, wake up. I got a new friend working with us. Foxy, I think you'll like her."

Those seemed to be the magic words. The first to lift their head was Bonnie, his magenta eyes focusing on Vanessa. Chica was next, the little cupcake on her plate giving a little yawn that Xiaojiao had to fight to not coo over, and then Foxy reared his head back, giving out a maniacal laugh.

And then Freddy... didn't move.

"Freddy?" Vanessa said, cocking her head. Those green eyes were concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Aye, lass, he's just a lil' tired from all the flying," Foxy said, sounding just like a pirate. "Can't say I blame him. Give me a ship any day!"

"Foxy," Chica said. "You know we couldn't have sailed over. Sailing takes too long, and Ness worries a lot." 'Ness''s face turned red, not disputing the claim.

Wow, this was really great AI. The banter and movements as Foxy and Chica argued back and forth, and Bonnie reached over to hold Freddy's shoulder was so life-like. Xiaojiao's fingers itched for her phone to record and stream. Hm, maybe…

"Anyway, this is Long Xiaojiao," Vanessa said, interrupting Bonnie saying something about the perfect cheese for pizza. She gestured to her, and Xiaojiao waved. "She'll be our night guard until Mikey gets here, and she'll be helping me repair and maintain you guys."

Oh, yeah! “I also know a guy,” Xiaojiao said, pulling up her phone. “Who does commissions. He made a logo for his dad’s noodle shop. Maybe he can do some stuff for your marketing?”

Vanessa’s smile went big. “Really?” Xiaojiao turned to reveal Pigsy’s logo and her eyes went wide. “Oh, that looks great.”

“Yeah! You have a pen?” At the request, a pen was pulled out. “Great! Here’s his number, his name is Qi Xiaotian…” She ignored the heat flaring up in her face as she held Vanessa’s name and scrawled Xiaotian’s number across her palm. “Anyway,” she said as she pulled away. “Give him a call. He’ll be more than happy to help.”

“Oh, thanks Xiaojiao!”

“No worries! See you tomorrow!” Xiaojiao headed out, glancing back. Vanessa was smiling at her palm. Chica was petting her cupcake as Foxy and Bonnie talked. And Freddy…

Freddy stared right at her.

-_-

Long Xiaojiao was eager for her first shift, especially after the day she had, but almost drove away when she came one hour before midnight.

In the light of day, the restaurant had just looked worn and tired. In the darkness of night, barely lit by the neon on the next street, it looked menacing. Vanessa had left the dining hall's light on for her, showcasing the four figures on stage. All were slumped over, looking asleep again.

Xiaojiao barely resisted a shiver as she parked her bike and walked up. The clink of the lock opening sounded like a gunshot, and, as she walked in, she swore a cold breeze slid down her back.

No. No. She was being ridiculous. She was Xiaojiao, the White Horse Dragon Girl (dragon family or no dragon family), former wielder of the Samadhi fire, and current wielder of the Long sword (dragon family or no dragon family). She wasn't gonna get spooked like this! 

"Hey guys!" she said for some semblance of noise as she locked the door behind her. "Good to see you guys again!" Nothing came back and Xiaojiao nodded. "Good talk."

Her duties involved checking all the doors to make sure they were locked. Xiaojiao did the lap of the building before settling into her office, which now housed a phone and an old poster. Now, all she had to do was keep an eye on the building and the animatronics until 6 AM.

Her phone beeped, and she pulled it out.

MonkieMAN: CONGRATS ON UR HOME!

Ah, right. Xiaojiao was now the proud owner of a small studio apartment. It was a little smaller than her old place, but she owned it. She still had to unpack and figure out what to keep- goodbye, third monitor- but she was home for now.

You: THANKS! How's moving into your place?

The phone rang. Xiaojiao nearly fell out of her chair at the noise and felt a flash of irritation. Was she really that off her game? She had dealt with scarier things. The phone rang again before something clicked and "Hello? Hello, hello?"

"Hello?"

"Uhh, I wanted to record a message for you... to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you." Oh, it was a voicemail Vanessa must've forgotten to delete. Xiaojiao shrugged and turned to her phone. "I’m... finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact, so... I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I’m here to tell you: there’s nothing to worry about."

"Uh huh, sure."

MonkieMAN: We're doing great! Red wants to remodel the kitchen…

"Uh, you’ll do fine! So... let’s just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay? Uh, let’s see. First, there’s an introductory greeting from the company that I’m supposed to read. Eh, it’s kind of a legal thing, you know."

Huh, wonder why Vanessa didn't give it to her. Xiaojiao shrugged. "Probably out of date or something."

"Um, 'Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza: a magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovery of damage or if death has occurred, a missing person’s report will be filed within ninety days or as soon as property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached and the carpets have been replaced.' " Xiaojiao sat up at that, raising a brow. Hang on. "Blah, blah, blah... Now that might sound bad, I know."

"My dude. Seriously?"

"But there’s really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No! If I were forced to sing... those same stupid songs for 20 years, and I never got a bath? I’d probably be a bit irritable at night too." Speaking of the animatronics, Xiaojiao grabbed the tablet. It awakened easily, revealing a green 100% bar. On a guess, she pressed the only app. "So remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children, and you need to show them a little respect. Right? Okay. So just be aware:"

She froze.

"The characters do tend to wander a bit. Uhh, they’re left in some kind of "free-roaming mode" at night. Uhh... something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long." Oh, that was bullshit. Both the story and the fact that all four of them had turned their heads toward her camera, staring directly at her. "Uhh... they used to be allowed to walk around during the day, too, but then there was the Bite of '87. Yeah... I-It’s amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?"

"Excuse me?!"

Now concerning your safety: the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uhh, if they happen to see you after hours, probably won’t recognise you as a person. Th-They’ll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on."

"Wait, hang on-"

"Now, since that’s against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, they’ll probably try to... forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit."

"What."

"Um, now that wouldn’t be so bad if the suits themselves weren’t filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So you can imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort... and death.

"Just discomfort and death?!"

"Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh." Xiaojiao felt a whimper come up at the mental image. Not even the Lady Bone Demon had threatened something like that. And it only grew worse when she looked back down. "...Y-Yeah, they don’t tell you these things when you sign up... But hey! First day should be a breeze; I’ll chat with you tomorrow."

Bonnie was gone.

"Uhh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright. Goodnight." And the Phone Guy hung up, leaving Xiaojiao gawking at the space where Bonnie should’ve been.

Was this part of her job? Finding Bonnie? She was pretty sure the job description didn't include that and Vanessa hadn't mentioned anything like that. Plus, there was just something about the way that the animatronics stared down the camera that was different from the playfulness that they showed earlier.

It felt... angry. Like, Azure or Macaque levels of anger.

But she also had a missing animatronic.

"Come on, come on... there!" Bonnie was just standing in between the tables, staring at the camera. Xiaojiao raised a brow. He continued to stare. She blinked.

He was moving.

"Crap."

Xiaojiao could hear his footsteps come down the hall- thudding, loud, like the heartbeat in her ears. He was coming and now she understood why Vanessa's brother wanted those doors.

Down went the door.

She couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. There. That should keep him out. Soon enough, she heard footsteps…

Not walk away. Actually, they were coming down the other side.

Xiaojiao glanced down at the tablet and pulled the camera back. Chica was gone. Chica was peering from the doorway. Xiaojiao wasted no time in slamming the door down. For a few minutes, heart pounding, Xiaojiao waited until those heavy footsteps walked away.

They didn't stay away long.

There seemed to be some kind of pattern. Bonnie always came down one side, Chica the other. Bonnie would return to the stage or a broom closet to chill. Chica would head to the kitchen, where she seemed to be unpacking boxes. At least one of them was doing something helpful.

It was a rhythm that was easy to track.

That, Xiaojiao would figure later, was her mistake.

Bonnie was on stage at around 4 AM, talking to Freddy, who never ceased his glare at the camera. Chica was messing around in the kitchen. With that, Xiaojiao allowed herself to relax. Both of them moved slowly. She would have enough time to shut the door-

A clang interrupted her thoughts. At first, she assumed Chica had dropped something. Another clang raised a brow. Another, faster clang made her sit up as it repeated, again and again.

"What in the-"

Foxy sprinted into view, his hook raised and a screech coming out. Xiaojiao screamed back, her entire body going cold with terror.

And, in her state, Xiaojiao could only do one thing.

"SPICY HOT PEPPER BLAST!"

Her sword glowed green, sparking with electricity, and a laser came out. The kickback shoved her out of her chair and against the other door, looking up in time to hear Foxy scream.

"ME ARM!"

That was an issue.

There was a massive burn mark on the wall. There was also one on Foxy's arm, scarring what red fur was left. "FOXY!" Chica called, but Xiaojiao closed the door and the other before the chicken rushed up. She could barely set the tablet down before gripping her knees, taking in deep breaths as she stared at the floor.

Oh, fuck. Fuck, that had been bad. That had been super bad. There was no way Vanessa wouldn't notice.

...did Vanessa know the animatronics would do this?

A different kind of "Oh fuck" came out. If Vanessa knew, she was screwed.

Xiaojiao wasn't sure how long it was before there was a chime. She glanced up as the clock struck six. Quitting time. She took in a deep breath and tried to stand. ‘Stand’ was the keyword. Her legs felt like jelly and she could smell the terror on her. A surge of anger twisted her stomach at the sensations.

“Vanessa better have a good explanation.”

Vanessa was unlocking the front doors by the time Xiaojiao got to the dining hall. Her smile was warm, but Xiaojiao was too angry to consider how pretty it was.

"Hey! How was it? I hope the power didn't die on you. It's weird here, and we're still trying to fix it."

Okay, that was a whole other thing Xiaojiao was not going to get into. She crossed her arms, studying her boss. "You didn't tell me the animatronics moved during the night."

Vanessa raised a brow. "Oh, sorry. I thought I told you. They had this weird thing with free roam that I'm trying to fix, but they mostly move around at night and try to do tasks that need doing."

"You didn't say that they would try to k-"

"Hey, Vanessa," She nearly jumped out of her skin. She hadn't even noticed Freddy move over. His voice was almost fatherly, but his gaze on her was cold. "I think I might need some help setting up tools in Parts and Services. Mind helping me."

"Uh, sure," Vanessa glanced back as Freddy guided her down the hallway. "Thanks again, Xiaojiao! See you tonight!"

Xiaojiao blinked, feeling some of the anger slide off. Well, that answered one question. However, she couldn't help but follow the duo. Sure, she was a bit upset with Vanessa, but she couldn't just leave her alone. Thankfully, there was no screaming as she crept up to the Parts and Services door.

"Come on, you promised me you would handle this better."

"I know, I know...but did you really have to hire that girl? I don't like her."

"Freddy, you don't like anyone. And Xiaojiao's been great for what position she's in, and nobody else helping her. I know that she can do great things here once Mikey comes, I can feel it. Just...give her a chance, okay?'

Xiaojiao cocked her head, showing the scene. Freddy's arm was extended with the top part off, revealing the endo underneath. Vanessa was fiddling with it, her gaze distant and distracted. Freddy stared at her with what almost seemed like fatherly affection.

"Okay, I promise."

Liar.

Xiaojiao turned and walked away, gaze hard. Now, she needed to move and be ready.

She needed to repair a few things.

-_-

The next night, the phone rang again at midnight. Xiaojiao let the message about the animatronics play until it reached the part about them being more active as the night continued. She could already see that, with Foxy tensing up, getting ready to sprint right off the stage.

She slammed the door close. She bit back a jolt at the banging that started up, but focused on closing the other door. She checked her tablet and smirked at the steady 99%. "And Tang called Pigsy weird for hanging onto that spare generator," she chuckled. Now, she would have enough power to stall until they were all there and for her little show.

Xiaojiao pulled up the camera in the hallway in time to watch Foxy trot back to the stage.

Soon enough, Chica headed down her hallway, waiting. Bonnie, unlike last night, moved third to the opposing door. Foxy made another dash to the door. Each time, she heard their footsteps, heard them paw at the door.

Each time, they walked back, looking more and more confused and annoyed. Finally, Freddy marched off the stage, looking incredibly annoyed. All four of them headed to the left door.

Bang.

Bang!

Bang, bang!

Bang, bang, bang!

BANG BANG BANG BANG-

The power held steady, but it was enough. Xiaojiao pressed the button, the door lifted, there was a shriek-

"I'll tell Vanessa."

All four froze mid strike, staring at her. Xiaojiao barely fought back a smirk. Her gamble had worked. Freddy finally spoke, sounding like he was fighting back the urge to strangle her. "You're bluffing."

Xiaojiao simply reached back and pulled up the video of the past hour. The clanging against the door rang out in the office, as the video perfectly showed what had been going on right outside the office.

"Pretty neat, huh? I noticed that some of the cameras didn't work, so I fixed them. I even fixed the computers." She wasn't gonna mention the bugs she placed everywhere, just to be sure. "I mean, Vanessa did say that you guys moved here for a fresh start and no murder. I wonder how she's gonna feel when you guys don't feel the same?"

Freddy gaped at her. Foxy was the one to speak up, rolling down his sleeve to reveal the burn mark. "Aye, and we'll be the ones to tell Ness that you brought in a weapon."

"I'll just tell Ness that she was scared for her life. Rightly so."

All of them jolted at the male voice. Xiaojiao turned in her chair.

There was a guy in the other doorway, holding a cup of coffee. He wore a dark hoodie and sunglasses, but that couldn't distract from the fact that his skin was purple. Xiaojiao was tempted to poke, but she had more questions. Including…

"How the fuck did you get in here?"

There was a gasp of "Swear jar!" but that was less important.

"I picked the lock." He held out a hand. "I'm Mike, by the way."

She took his hand, still not certain on how to react as she shook it. "Okay. Uh, I'm Xiaojiao-"

"The dangerous lunatic who smuggled in a laser sword and attempted to dismantle the animatronics." He sipped his coffee as Xiaojiao gaped. “Yeah, yeah, I’m willing to tell Ness that the animatronics were trying to get rid of a saboteur.”

...was she being blackmailed? Huh, weird. She was usually the one doing the blackmailing.

"Unless?" She had to ask.

"You both behave and leave me the fuck alone." He took another sip of his coffee. "You don't want to mess with me. I've done some fucked up shit, and Ness is used to that." He looked at her directly, cold lavender eyes boring into her soul. "Don't let Ness figure out what kinda fucked up shit you can do."

Oh. Well, that sealed it.

Before she could do anything, the clock chimed. "Well," Mike said pleasantly. "Ness should be here...about now." Of he trotted down the hallway, leaving Xiaojiao and the animatronics to glance at each other before Xiaojiao followed him down. She could hear the footfalls of the animatronics, but she didn't look back.

"Oh, Mikey! I thought you weren't gonna be here until next week!"

"Yeah, well, stuff concluded faster than expected..."

"Why do you smell like smoke?"

As a beaming Vanessa hugged her brother, Xiaojiao sighed. "I don't like him."

"Neither do we, but he's a good worker, and he's the only blood family Ness has left," Freddy groused.

The two glanced at each other. Now, Xiaojiao nearly had enough with the animatronics. But she had agreed with Mike that she would stay on. So…

"I have some pranking ideas." She held out a hand. "Truce?"

"Ooh!" Foxy cooed, elbowing to hover next to her. "Mind sharing with ole Foxy, lass?"

"I'm gonna pretend this isn't happening," Freddy said, turning and walking away. "Chica, come on. I want plausible deniability." 

Xiaojiao felt her smile grow. Okay, so this wasn’t the best job in the world. But it was stable and, with her family forged in ice and Samadhi fire, she would make it work.

[star-going-supernova]

i love the prompt you did the other day of Gregory protecting other kids and I was wondering if you planned on expanding on it ?

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it! I wasn’t planning on expanding it, but I need more words for NaNo, so here we are! And just to be clear, this isn’t one of my tumblr generated prompts. Reminder that Gregory’s thirteen in this AU! This picks up pretty much right where The Most Dangerous Game left off.

The Most Dangerous Prey

Gregory ran through the daycare lobby. He pushed through the doors with only as much care as he did because the last thing he wanted was to draw attention to this part of the pizzaplex. Sprinting in the direction he thought the scream had come from, he dodged STAFF bots left and right without pause. Tonight, every second counted, and he’d already been delayed. 

He nearly kept going down the main hall, but he got lucky. He saw the blood splashed on the shiny floor tiles and skidded to a stop. There was a smear that trailed off in the direction of an employees only door. 

Trying to balance caution and haste sucked, but the element of surprise was one of Gregory’s greatest advantages, one he couldn’t afford to just throw away. He slipped silently through the door and hurried along as fast as he dared. 

His restraint was rewarded. He came upon the child and their attacker, one of the animatronics. The poor kid was practically being dragged along, breathing raggedly as he scrabbled uselessly at Freddy’s iron grip. His shaggy blond hair was half red with blood. Freddy didn’t notice Gregory sneaking closer. 

He unholstered his crowbar and eyed the back of the animatronic to choose the best place to hit. They weren’t as fragile as the bare endoskeletons, so their weaknesses weren’t as obvious. 

But make no mistake: they had weaknesses. 

Freddy was tall, but Gregory was a gangly teenager. When he raised his crowbar behind his head, both hands wrapped around the end, he was more than capable of heaving it up and over and down into the very base of Freddy’s neck. 

The awful crack of plastic was so loud in that empty hallway, and Freddy’s body gave a great spasm. He dropped the kid, who gasped and curled into a ball on the floor. Gregory wrenched the crowbar free, pulling down as much as he could without getting it stuck. Twitching violently as more than one severed wire was suddenly jutting out from the hole in the back of his neck, Freddy stumbled forward. 

His head turned as far as it could, which was farther than Gregory thought was reasonable and therefore was really, really creepy. Nearly looking straight behind himself, Freddy’s blank, glowing eyes settled on Gregory. His body turned itself around without his head even bobbing in place, which was so inhuman that Gregory’s arms got goosebumps.

He flipped the crowbar around in his hands and blew out a thin breath. He settled on his next target: the connections between legs and pelvis. They were the largest joint openings on Freddy’s front. 

Just as dumb as the endoskeleton, Freddy lumbered toward him with one hand outstretched. He was decently fast for something his size and weight, and if Freddy managed to catch someone off guard, Gregory could see how easily they would fall prey to his bloody claws. 

Gregory, though, was prepared. He smashed the flat of the crowbar into Freddy’s wrist, pushing it away, something audibly breaking under the orange plating. It also served to give Gregory some space, and he used it well. When Freddy overcorrected with his other hand, Gregory dodged forward, metal fingers just barely skimming his shoulder. He drove the less angled end up into the gap and then threw his weight to the side. 

The crowbar did as the crowbar was designed to do: it pried those two pieces apart like they were held together with twine. A sharp pop inside Freddy’s hip sure sounded exactly like he imagined a robotic joint dislocating would. 

His leg went limp, and Freddy tipped over like a tree being felled. 

Taking that as the advantage it was, Gregory hissed an apology as he scooped up the younger boy and dragged him down the hall, out of reach of the animatronic watching them in intense, eerie silence. The kid cried out but didn’t protest, even trying to help by holding on to Gregory. 

“Wait, wait,” he whimpered, and Gregory obligingly paused. “There’s—inside him.” He shakily pointed at Freddy, who was attempting to stand without seeming to understand that his leg was useless. 

“What?” 

“Inside him,” the kid pleaded. “He’s inside him. In his stomach.” 

Gregory looked at Freddy in horror, because now that his heartbeat wasn’t pounding in his ears, he could hear it: very faint crying. And it was coming from inside Freddy. 

Gregory bounced up on his toes a few times, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do. “Stay here,” he warned the kid, handing him his crowbar. And then Gregory charged a robot that was easily twice his size and way heavier. 

It never would have worked if Freddy’d had both legs working, or if he’d been any smarter than he was. Gregory plowed full force into Freddy just as he got himself upright with the help of the wall, and relief flooded his chest when it proved to be enough. They toppled over together, Gregory on top of him. 

He pushed himself up as fast as he could and swung his legs around. Freddy’s undamaged hand shot toward his face, and sharp pain exploded across his cheek as Gregory kicked forward with both feet, slamming his sneakers into the underside of Freddy’s jaw. 

He got a satisfying snapping noise for his efforts, and the damage was, thank goodness, enough to shut the animatronic down. Freddy’s eyes flickered off, and his hand fell limply away from Gregory’s face. He hissed as he brushed tentative fingers over his cheek. They came back dripping with blood.

Climbing off Freddy, he gestured at the boy watching with wide eyes, and he obligingly slid the crowbar over. Gregory snatched it up, then tapped gently on the metal of Freddy’s chest. “Hey,” he said. The crying paused with a little sniffle. “I’m gonna get you out, okay? Just, stay back.” 

He waited a moment for the trapped kid to get clear, then shoved the flatter end of the crowbar into the thin space between chest plates. It took a few tries to get it deep enough that it didn’t just slip out, but finally, he was able to leverage his whole weight down on the crowbar. With a strained hiss, the panels popped open. Gregory stood up and pulled them outward. 

Inside a hollow cavity that made up Freddy’s torso was a kid maybe even younger than Jenna. He looked up with watery eyes, tear tracks shining on his cheeks. He looked a lot like the first boy.

Gregory holstered his crowbar. “Hi,” he said gently. “I’m Gregory. Can I help you out?” 

The little boy nodded, and Gregory mostly lifted him out of the robot. He was shaking, his legs barely able to hold him up. When he spotted the other boy, he gasped and stumbled forward. 

“Connor,” the older of the two wheezed, pushing himself up even though it looked to hurt him a lot. There was… way more blood on him than Gregory had initially noticed. 

Gregory helped Connor to his presumed older brother, and he gave them a few minutes to reassure themselves that the other was okay. He kept a wary eye on Freddy, but the animatronic gave no sign of powering up. 

However, he was worried Freddy might have sent a message, either to another member of the band or the crazy killer herself. 

“We’ve gotta go,” Gregory finally said. Connor didn’t look injured, just shaken and honestly terrified. His brother, though… “What’s your name?” 

“Cooper,” he said. He was probably only a year or so younger than Gregory. “Thank you. Thank you for…” His eyes drifted past Gregory to Freddy.

“No problem,” Gregory said. “Look, I’ve got a—a place that’s kinda safe. There are others there already. Can I bring you guys?” 

Cooper nodded. “Anything’s gotta be better than just running around and hoping for the best.” 

“Yeah,” Gregory agreed tiredly. “C’mon, I’ll carry you piggyback.” 

With some maneuvering, they managed to get Cooper onto Gregory’s back. Gregory had to admire the kid—he barely made a sound even though he had to have been in a lot of pain. 

“You ready?” he asked them. 

Connor took hold of Gregory’s shirt, looking up at him with trusting eyes. 

“Ready,” Cooper said, strained. “Does your safe place have first aid kits by any chance?” 

“Oh,” Gregory said, not without humor, as he imagined the sort of first aid kits the overprotective daycare attendants surely had lying around in spades, “I think we’ll be able to find you something.” 

They set off, another pair of kids for Gregory to protect. Another robot he’d taken down. Another blood stain ruining his shirt. 

And he doubted it’d be the last. 

[darthpastry]

Michael and Elizabeth headcanons/rambling

Somehow these two have become my comfort characters and now I have headcanons and AU ideas and I just want to ramble about them.

TW: Child abuse, death, crap William Afton pulled.

Pre-Murder Death Stuff:

Honestly, I see Michael and Elizabeth not being very close at this point. Like, yeah, they're siblings so they still interact and stuff, but Michael is the troublemaker who bullies CC and Elizabeth is the people-pleasing golden child. Since I don't think Mrs. Afton was a great mother and possibly even around, I do think Elizabeth tried to take on the role of keeping everyone in line when William wasn't around and would scold her brothers a lot. She wasn't exactly very nice herself either though, probably not full psychopath but since she was an impressionable child, she did pick up some of those kinds of behaviors from William.

For the most part, Michael would avoid Elizabeth. Since I do agree that The Immortal and the Restless is about the Aftons, I think William rejected Michael for at least the majority of his childhood. Possibly often told Michael that he was never even wanted, which Michael ended up taking out on CC. Maybe William even called CC 'his first wanted child' or something.

Maybe they had some moments together where they all got along, perhaps watching cheesy telenovels?

If The First Death Was CC:

Since the main reason I believed this one was because William needed a motivation to start experimenting with Remnant and thanks to Dittophobia, we now have one, I think Elizabeth died first, but since I still have headcanons about it, I'll blather on, nonetheless.

Elizabeth would've been pissed at Michael. Obviously, she would've blamed him for CC's death. Probably ignored him even more and never let go of her anger. Michael tried to talk to her, but she would either shut him down with a snarky comment or yell at him. I do kind of headcanon that Elizabeth and CC were twins so that would've made it worse. Either that, or Elizabeth never found out how CC died.

Oh boy... Michael spent a very long time trying to apologize for it, begging for forgiveness from his family, maybe taking some of CC's plushies and crying himself to sleep at night. Either that or he went numb for a while. After Elizabeth died, he full on suppressed everything until becoming the sarcastic, vengeful night guard he is in the games.

If The First Death Was Elizabeth:

Michael was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while William was working, it was after school, and they were at Circus Baby's Pizza World. Michael was ignoring the two and chatting with his friends instead. Elizabeth convinced CC that they should go see Baby despite William's warnings.

I know Baby says there was only one child, but that's why it's a headcanon. Who knows, maybe CC was hiding, and Baby couldn't detect him?

Elizabeth gets closer to Circus Baby, though CC gets scared and stays back. Elizabeth then gets killed by Baby and CC ends up running off in fear, eventually William finds out what happens but CC keeps his knowledge of it a secret, feeling guilty for allowing his twin to get so close.

William never finds out CC knows and refuses to tell both kids how Elizabeth died. Michael gets a hunch that CC knows and ends up bullying him while CC just turns into a sad, traumatized mess. As one does after watching their sister get killed by an animatronic.

This leads CC to being terrified of animatronics and... yeah. When Michael accidently kills CC, perhaps William ends up yelling at him and telling him how Elizabeth died.

By The Time Of Sister Location:

Michael ended up moving to a new neighborhood where no one knew him, they'd heard about the events, but didn't connect Michael to them since he never gave out personal information. He ended up making a lot of friends, having a certain wit that comes from suppressed trauma. William/Springtrap contacts him, telling him to go work at Circus Baby's Pizza World. Michael doesn't trust his father, but ends up going, nonetheless.

Now, if he knew about how Elizabeth died, he was probably terrified of Circus Baby, but ended up trusting her after noticing her eyes were now green.

Getting scooped definitely hurt a lot more emotionally than physically. Maybe a part of Elizabeth that was still in there hesitated.

One of my favorite parts of Sister Location is that Michael got scooped and just went home to eat popcorn, display his butters, and watch his dramatic telenovelas.

As mentioned earlier, I like to think it was one of the few bonding experiences he had with his siblings so was very attached to them. Maybe The Immortal and the Restless in particular was cathartic to watch.

Miscellaneous:

Despite seemingly rather apathetic, two things made Michael cry, his siblings' deaths and telenovelas.

Elizabeth and Charlie were the best of friends while they were both alive, though I do think Charlie was a year or two younger. The two of them always thought The Security Puppet was cool, and Elizabeth would often talk to it after Charlie died, asking if it was crying about Charlie's death as well, since she didn't know about it being possessed.

Also, I love the fact that the fan wiki for Michael specifically calls out that his SL reflection post-scoop looks like Rick Astley.

This may be awful, but the way Michael was animated vomiting up Ennard in the 8-bit section of SL is hilarious to me.

I support the theory of GlamMike. Fazbear Entertainment was destroyed by the Afton siblings and that's that.

AU Time:

Probably my favorite is the one where Elizabeth didn't die, it was after CC's death and Michael managed to find her and pull her away right before she got snatched. They never really talked about it afterwards, but they became closer, and Elizabeth finally forgave him for CC's death. She grew up to work as an engineer for Fazbear Entertainment under an alias, much like Michael becoming a night guard. Baby ended up possessed by another child, but Elizabeth managed to save Michael from getting scooped. The two of them ended up at the PizzaPlex. Elizabeth was still an engineer and befriended Vanessa, but once she realized something was wrong, she snuck Michael in.

First sentence is just one I've seen before on here, but Michael getting an "I don't want to die" moment at the end of Pizzeria Sim and using the escape route Henry planned for him. He feels guilty for a while, but once the PizzaPlex opens, he's relieved that he has a purpose again. But maybe this time... he'll burn with it.

A continuation of the last one but since it gets completely nonsensical now, Elizabeth somehow returns from the dead. Because hey, if William can do it... Only now she's her child self again, but the AI from Circus Baby is still in her head and occasionally takes over if she gets too emotional.

[darknessofroses]

Freddy's friendship with the DJ

I have returned with another fic with the DJ. Sorry that I have not done any fics lately, I haven't really found any ideas that inspired me until now. Decided to do one with Freddy and the DJ because I really like their friendship

Lee: Freddy

Ler: Dj Music Man

Summary: (Wooo, flashback) This is a moment in time where the Dj doesn't know much about tickling until Freddy explains it to him one day while Freddy and the DJ were talking and one thing leads to another.

It was a nice day in the Mega Pizzaplex. Every animatronic was feeling great and their personalities were relatively normal. It was in the weekend in the afternoon where no kids and parents are visiting so the animatronics just did whatever. Sun and Moon were hanging out in Monty Golf with Monty. Roxanne and Chica were in her makeup salon.

Freddy was hanging out with the DJ as he has gotten to be friends with him and has visited him as much as he can. He loves to talk to the DJ about what's going on and how he's feeling sometimes. Today was no different.

"So a week ago, we got a interesting upgrade." Freddy had said. "The workers had said it heightened our senses. But it also made us... ticklish" The DJ looked confused and interested hearing those words, specifically the ticklish word.

"Ticklish? Freddy, what do you mean?" The Dj asked. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Freddy nervously giggled "I-It's a good thing, I promise. Humans are usually the one that experience this type of thing, so it was a surprise for us."

Freddy explained "Tickling, as it's called, is when someone touches you in specific spots, like for example, the sides of a person. But it is very different for everyone, if I recall."

The DJ chuckled "That sounds adorable. So was it only you and the others that got this upgrade?~" Freddy nodded "Yeah! Me, Roxy, Monty, Chica, Sun and Moon got one. Maybe you'll get it too!" "Maybe! It would be nice to feel such an experience, but can I test this on you?~"

Freddy felt his cheeks heat up by the question, but he nodded "Yeah, I guess. It would be fun!" The Dj then raised his hand and poked Freddy's side to see how he would react. "EEK-" Freddy squealed and jolted away. The Dj giggled a bit "You must be very ticklish there" He wiggled his fingers on Freddy's side. "HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH THAHAHAHAHAT TIHIHIHIHICKLES!" The Dj chuckled "Well, of course it does, silly. That means it's working~"

Freddy continued to laugh and giggle more when the DJ moved his fingers to his belly "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE" He immediately slapped his hands over his mouth so his giggles and laughter was muffled.

Music Man then wiggled his fingers into Freddy's armpit and Freddy instinctively removed his hands from his mouth "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA EEEKEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE" DJ Music Man stopped tickling after a few minutes to let Freddy breathe. "Hehe, thahat was fuhuhn" Freddy giggled out. "Thahank you Dj" The DJ chuckled "Anytime, Fazbear, and hey! You may do it to me sometime and I'll do it back~"

(If this is short, I apologize, I haven't done this in a while)

[icepoptroll]

favorite penn and teller bit?

Omgomgomg you always come at me with the best asks lol

Gosh so many, I'm not sure if I can pick a favorite. I'll tell you a few of my favorites.

One time I got to do their birthday party trick with them over Zoom. Before going on Penn gave me a nice smile and thanked me for joining them. I'm in Jersey and they're in Vegas so it was very late at night for me, which I didn't mind because I work late at night anyway. Penn does this thing with volunteers where like, he makes it a point to use their names as much as possible like:

"Let me ask you something, Erin. Do you like balloon animals?"

"Yeah!"

"Erin, you don't have to be nice. NO ONE likes balloon animals."

And ofc he led the crowd in repeatedly yelling the magic words for the trick which were "happy birthday, Erin!" And it was just so delightful to be talking to him while he played his sorta deadpan stage persona lol

I've been them live twice and at every show Teller performs "Shadows" and it was one of the most beautiful and awe inspiring things I've ever seen. That trick is his baby, he's been performing it since the early 70s, so he's had a long time to perfect it. It's so dark and dramatic, basically Teller in a nutshell lol

Another trick I've seen them do live was this bit where they switched roles, it was one of those rare moments we get to hear Teller speak. He was doing an impression of Penn and Penn was standing there on his knees and they were both wearing shitty wigs and Teller had a fake beard and glasses and they basically did a Great Value version of the card stab and Teller said something like "not so easy staying silent, is it?" And like he kept accidentally dropping the low growly voice because Teller's real voice is actually smooth golden vocal honey lol. It was just such a treat to see them bust each other's balls imitating each other

Other favorite bits of mine: the iron comedian, the best magicians in the world, Penn and Teller: Street Magic, animatronic Teller, the rat cage, the 3 of clubs video punchline one, man I don't know if I've ever seen a P&T bit I didn't love. P&T fans please interact lol