#Birds and the Bees

[townseleven]

dad of all time

[eat-a-whole-carrot]

do you think laios knows what sexual love is or do you think he was to busy to get around to the birds and the bees talk?

[shittydrawnsollux]

You two are so pitch just make out already

TA: [Consider making out with @shitty-davesprite-daily]

TA: oh my GOG CAN YOU PEOPLE 2TOP WANTIING ME TWO MACK ON EVERY 2IINGLE GUY II LOOK AT. ii hate your wriiteriing gut2 iin the mo2t platoniic way po22iible, even more platoniic and even more hate than the 2tuff ii feel for that 2tupiid iirony freak. ii dont even feel anythiing about hiim at all other than miild dii2iintere2t 2o 2hut UP. go bother hiim more about how down bad he ii2 for ME. FUCK.

(oh my GOG CAN YOU PEOPLE STOP WANTING ME TO MACK ON EVERY SINGLE GUY I LOOK AT. i hate your writhering guts in the most platonic way possible, even more platonic and even more hate than the stuff i feel for that stupid irony freak. i dont even feel anything about him at all other than mild disinterest so shut UP. go bother him more about how down bad he is for ME. FUCK.)

[animeomegas]

Can you trust this BNHA boy to give your child the birds and the bees talk?

Midoriya: His hands are shaking, the pup’s hands are shaking, there’s enough blushing that neither can stand because all the blood is in their heads. But he gets through it. Probably made flash cards. Neither can read them because they’re both about to pass out. He gives the pup the flash cards to read alone later. Asks ‘do you have any questions?’ like he’s being held at gunpoint. It gets done though. 

Rating: Turn off your heating because the blushing will heat the house for you/10

...

Denki: Actively volunteers to do it. The pup is rolling their eyes bc they know what’s coming. Gets a little too into the social parts of the talk and not enough into the biological parts. Stresses that he made loads of bad decisions on this topic when he was their age, so they shouldn’t be ashamed to come to him for help. Asks ‘have you got any questions?’ like it’s a challenge. 

Rating: Doesn’t know what a fallopian tube is, but surprisingly insightful on some deep topics/10

...

Aizawa: Will only agree to do it if it’s time sensitive and you’re not there, or if the pup specifically requests him for some unknown reason. Better with younger pups who just need a biology lesson. Worse with the older ones. If the pup only takes one thing away from the conversation it’ll be ‘contraception, protection, contraception, protection’ because he says it like 25 times. Directs ‘have you got any questions?’ towards the other parent. 

Rating: No personal anecdotes/stories under any circumstance/10

...

Iida: Buys a textbook a month in advance and reads the whole thing first. Makes a lesson plan. Does not occur to him that a teenage pup might be putting the information into use fairly soon. Has a ‘when you’re at least 26 and married’ vibe, but only because that’s how he viewed sex and is baffled to find other people disagree. Waaayyy better with younger pups, but waits too long for that to be a useful skill. Asks ‘have you got any questions?’ and is baffled by the questions that follow.

Rating: ‘Yes dad, I’m definitely a virgin 🙄’/10

... 

Kirishima: Buys snacks for the talk for some reason. Injects a whole load of talk about consent and respect for others and oneself. Is surprisingly good at figuring out the pup’s existing knowledge and not patronising them. Probably the best at it from the people so far. Asks ‘have you got any questions?’ with enough sincerity to encourage the pup to actually ask their questions. 

Rating: ‘Hey champ, I was your age once, I understand what you’re feeling, let’s hug it out’/10

...

Tamaki: Why are you doing this to him? What if the pup asks about his sex life? Or about something weird they’ve seen on he internet? What if he doesn’t know how to answer??? Walks to the living room to have the talk like he’s walking to his death. Wants to be there for his pup, but would really rather you sat there with him and led the talk. Asks ‘have you got any questions?’ without breathing.

Rating: Crying, screaming, throwing up/10

...

Dabi: Too much detail, too little detail, never finds the balance. Keeps going to share personal anecdotes before realising how inappropriate they are and aborting half way. Focuses on how to beat the shit out of someone who won’t take no for an answer. Is surprised by how stressed he feels afterwards and has to take some time for himself. Asks ‘have you got any questions?’ very blasé like, but has some triggers that he won’t deal with and will send them to the other parent.  

Rating: ‘Aiming for the crotch is temping because of the setting, but aiming for the throat does more damage, so do that’/10

...

All Might: Feels confident going in, has all that confidence stripped away the second his pup uses one (1) slang term he doesn't understand. The kind of talk that ends up being more informative for him than the pup. He ages 20 years and dies instantly if any of the following topics are broached: kinks, already being sexually active, any sex acts other than penetrative missionary for baby making, etc. Doesn’t ask ‘have you got any questions?’ because he has more questions than the pup could ever possibly have. 

Rating: Kids these days (baffled)/10

...

[omegasunburst]

[killerqueenbz]

Do you want me to teach you a lesson about the Birdz & Beez?

[cathighfive]

Day 17: Favorite Brianna scene

Brianna meeting Jamie for the first time brings tears to my eyes. A meeting he never thought he would get. He finally gets to meet his daughter. While not Frank, the man who raised her, having her father wrap his arms around her after the journey she went through to get to America and the events of the last 24 hours must have made her feel safe for the first time in a long time. She then finds out that Claire is there too. Brianna is finally to be reunited with her mother. Although she brings bad news to them, to have them reunited and together brings so much comfort and joy.

BRIANNA (cont’d) I’m your daughter... Brianna.

JAMIE It’s true? It is you, Brianna?

BRIANNA It’s me. Can’t you tell?

JAMIE Aye. Aye, I can. I hadna thought of you as grown, I had ye in my mind somehow as a wee bairn always -- as my babe. I never expected...

JAMIE (cont’d) Here, lassie, dinna weep! Dinna weep, a leannan, dinna be troubled. It’s all right, m’ annsachd; it’s all right.

As a side note, Jamie all scruffy in his tricorn hat is hot.

[thetalkingcow]

Cow and Wilde try teaching about the birds and the bees to Baby Goat, but get confused when they realize their anatomy doesn't match the science book.

[happypeachsludgeflower]

established relationship this, idiots in love that.

BUT WHERE’S THE PINING AND THE ANGST??

i came to this site for agony!!

AGONY PEOPLE!!!

i came for oblivious morons that can’t tell a bumblebee from a robin.

[hildegardladyofbones]

Tag or comment how you found out about it

[lgbtq-archives]

𝐍𝐨 𝐒𝐞𝐱 𝐄𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐔𝐩!

[sirgarygalavant]

The full Goofy comic by Paul Westover on Twitter :)

[offendedbydjinns]

Study of a guy who's embarrassed by his dad

[yeah-mani]

I saw this TikTok and couldn’t stop laughing at the idea of his bird telling him about “the birds and the bees”.

...and then it hit me.

[deargodsno]

A New Zealand photographer has won one of the top wildlife photography awards for his image of whale p*rn (warning for cetacean dick pic below):

New Zealand photographer Richard Robinson admits he was “literally gasping for air” after being awarded one of the top prizes at the worldwide Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition.

His image, entitled New Life for the Tohorā, was named the best in the Oceans - The Bigger Picture category. The competition received close to 40,000 entries from 93 countries.

Napier-born Robinson, who has been a photojournalist for more than 20 years, took the image on a dive off the remote Auckland Islands for New Zealand Geographic.

He wrote on his Instagram page that “every time I press the shutter button, behind the lens is a strong network of people I rely on who have sacrificed knowledge, time, money, all because they believe in the assignments I’m trying to tell, you know who you are, thank you”.

In his description of the photo, Robinson said he was hindered by poor visibility, and used a polecam, which is a camera on a crane, to photograph the whales as they approached his boat. When ready to mate, the female southern right whale rolls onto her back, requiring the male to reach his penis across the female's body.

The New Zealand population of southern right whales was hunted to near extinction but has since seen numbers rally.

Roz Kidman Cox, chair of the judging panel, said the photo showed hope: “To glimpse, let alone photograph, in one single composition the finale of the courtship of these balletic giants - southern right whales - is a photographic first. But the true value is the symbolic promise of new life for this New Zealand population, hunted to virtual extinction and now slowly increasing.”

[rosielindy]

Gold finches have found the sunflower, as have other herbivores, all here for different reasons. Cycles of birth, growth, and transformative decay. Enjoy the beauty while it lasts.