#But no listen this is like one of the top things on my wishlist

[saltpepperbeard]

Y’all have no idea how much I want to see Stede and Ed waking up in bed together. The relief of having another body next to theirs, filling a space which had once been cold and vacant. The calmness and warmth in one seeing the other so peaceful, so safe. The unbridled happiness in getting to share lazy snuggles and kisses, hiding away from the rest of the world for a while.

Because in that moment, there would only be their love. It would be them and the morning sun. And I need it.

[zorrasucia]

Congrats on 300💕 & thank you for your fics

Sooo many prompts that it’s hard to choose, but these spoke to me, but whatever inspires you most:)

Carmy x reader

❛ say you want me, and i’m yours. ❜

❛ you look like you were jealous. ❜

❛ there’s so many things i wanna do to you. ❜

Hi, Anon! Thank you for reading 💜🥺

I chose ❛ there’s so many things i wanna do to you❜ for a established relationship Carmy x Reader phone sex moment 😉 I hope you like it!

"Hey."

"Carmy," you replied sweetly. You had rushed to call him as soon as you read his text. are u awake? "Can't sleep?"

He let out a sigh. "Long day."

"Bad day?" you asked.

"Busy. And everyone was acting like a fucking asshole, even me. Especially me," he confessed. In the background you could hear the tattletale crack of aluminum foil and plastic as he popped some chewing gum.

"Trying to quit smoking again?"

"Always," he mumbled.

"Are you actually trying to quit for your palate and whatever or are you avoiding Richie?"

"What do you mean?" he replied a little defensively.

"Well, you usually talk with him during your smoke breaks. And... I don't know, he understands you. Maybe you don't want that right now," you guessed.

There was a long silence as Carmy took in what you said.

"How do you do that?" he asked abruptly.

"Do what?"

"See through all my bullshit," he explained. "I didn't even- I mean holidays are the worst and he'll definitely talk about Mikey at some point and how I didn't come home enough-" he paused. "I just don't want to feel like that again, you know?"

"Maybe talking with him can help," you said. "Maybe he feels like shit about it too. You both miss him, right?"

"Yeah..."

"You can't avoid him forever, Carm."

"I know," you heard him sigh. "Fuck, I miss you."

"Miss you too, baby," you replied softly, lying back on the bed of your childhood bedroom. "It's only a few more days."

"Are you having a nice time?" he asked gently.

"Yeah, it's, uh... Holidays with family are always a little weird, right?" you shrugged. "Got you a present, by the way."

"Yeah?" you could hear his smile.

"Yeah. Top secret," you giggled. "I also bought lingerie on discount - I don't know if that counts as a present for you or for me."

"Fuck," Carmy sighed again. "I already said I miss you. You don't need to say shit like that."

"There's a long weekend coming up," you appeased him. "We can make up for lost time."

"There's so many things I wanna do to you," he rasped.

"Yeah?" you tried to hide just how flustered his voice was making you. "What kind of things?"

"Fuck, baby..."

You could picture him laying on the couch, head over the armrest, blushing.

"Come on, I want to know," you encouraged him, you could only hear static for a little while. "It'll be fun. Like a wishlist but sexy," you teased. "I can touch myself while you tell me."

He coughed - you had taken him by surprise. You had surprised yourself too to be honest, but it was exciting and oddly liberating to only listen to him, the way his voice and breathing betrayed his emotions.

"You're going to kill me one of these days," he said after he recovered from his coughing fit.

"You don't sound too upset about it," you commented. You didn't pressure him - if he wanted to forget the whole thing, you'd let him.

He took a deep inhale. "I- uh- I wanna eat you out."

You let out a shaky exhale, a familiar warmth in your belly as you thought of Carmy between your legs.

"How?"

"I want you to sit on my face..." he said.

"Fuck, Carmy," you inhaled sharply, your free hand going into your underwear, touching your folds and finding them damp already. "I would love that. Fuck. Your tongue always feels so good on me."

"The way you taste. Fuck," he panted. Was he touching himself too? "I always end up with my face covered in you. My chin, my nose..."

"I love when your nose- Fuck, I think about it for days. Just your pretty nose making me shake and moan," it was so easy to tell him embarrassing truths when your fingers were playing with your clit, making you roll your eyes.

"Jesus," Carmy groaned. Oh, he was definitely touching himself. "I'll make you cum like that. I want your thighs shaking around my face. I want to hold you with both hands while you ride me, use me."

"Fuck," you moaned, your pussy clenching once around your middle finger, the heel of your hand pressing on your clit.

"What do you want, baby? What do you want to do to me?" there was an urgency to his voice. You liked him like that, a little needy.

"I want to touch your cock, make you feel good with my hands-" you said, putting a second finger inside you and moaning.

"Yeah," he was breathing heavily into the speaker.

"I want you to beg for it, Carm," you confessed. "I want to make you feel so fucking good and stop right before you cum. Just keep going until you can't take it anymore."

"Holy shit," he gasped. "And then? After I beg?"

You started fucking into your hand, writhing on the bedsheets.

"After you beg, I'll give it to you," you said simply, hearing as Carmy groaned lewdly. "Let you fuck me however you want, as hard as you want. You can cum as long as you cum inside me."

"Shiiiiit," he keened and the sound took you right over the edge, pussy fluttering around your fingers as he let out low grunts. You pictured him, face red and hair sweaty, eyes glazed and8 breathing heavy, ropes of cum painting his stomach. You sighed, feeling electricity all over, a gentle warmth caressing your skin.

"Fuck," Carmy exhaled on the other side of the line. "You meant that?"

"Yeah," you let out a nervous laugh. "You?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"I think we have our weekend planned out, then."

[montrealmadison]

in your palace warm, mighty king

okay i’ve recently found myself on angel tree tiktok. if you’re unfamiliar with the concept, basically, some stores will put out a tree around the holidays with gift tags for anonymous local kids, and people coming in to do their own shopping can take a tag off the tree and buy kids gifts off their wishlists for the store to pass off to them. (the linked video shows it in action!)

anyway this got me thinking about jack zimmermann at the beginning of his career. he has been fabulously wealthy and privileged for his whole life, but he’s only recently started earning a massive salary of his own and has no real idea of what to spend it on. he’s comfortable. he has a car and a nice apartment and an engagement ring hidden somewhere in said apartment. he knows he should probably donate to a worthwhile cause, but he hasn’t figured out what.

one day, though, bitty’s visiting for the weekend and comes to the store with him, and right there in the entryway, he just… stops. jack doesn’t notice and consequently almost runs him over with the cart.

“you alright? careful, eh?”

bitty does not respond, because he’s looking at the tree.

“bud?”

jack follows his gaze. it really doesn’t look like much. it’s fake, unlit, and has seen better days if the way it’s a little flattened on one side is anything to go by. there is an equally squashed-looking stuffed snowman sat on the floor next to it. it’s the kind of thing your eyes slide over easily, hurrying from one place to another. blink and you’ll miss it.

bitty isn’t blinking.

“lord, i haven’t seen one of these in years,” he says. his voice is soft. he still isn’t looking at jack. “do you know what it is?”

jack doesn’t, so bitty explains. and when they inch closer, jack sees that all the ornaments he thought were plain paper before are actually printed with ages, shoe sizes, requests for warm coats and toys and cute jeans and deodorant. here and there is a specific wish—a bluetooth speaker. a particular board game. one kid, age eight, is fervently hoping for a bike.

and—okay. here’s the thing. they’ve been together for more than a year, and bitty is pretty willing to go along with jack’s desire to spoil him. but although he’s so open and accepting when jack wants to kiss him, or cook dinner for a change, or lay him out on their bed and make him feel good—he will always, always get uncomfortable where significant amounts of money are involved. it was the subject of the one and only fight that sent them to bed still heated. the fundamental difference between their upbringings is the hardest for them to grasp: jack has never known a life without plenty. and bitty—

“i think my parents put me on one,” bitty says. “the year we moved back to madison, after—”

the closet looms between them, black and yawning.

“well. you know. coach had to leave a good job in lawrenceville. took us a while to get back on our feet, i think. and that year, they couldn’t—i mean, i heard them talking at night about how we might not be able to make christmas work, when they thought i couldn’t hear them. but i still wrote my letter to santa, and there were a couple presents when i woke up christmas morning, so.” he scuffs one shoe on the industrial carpet. “maybe an angel sent ‘em.”

the words make something sizzle down jack’s spine and settle low in his gut. he steps forward, reaches out, turns over the nearest tag.

boy, age 11. shoe size: 8. wishlist: sneakers, earbuds, basketball, patriots merch, chapter books. loves fantasy and mythology.

once upon a time, jack spent three months in a rehab center designed specifically for the privacy needs of celebrity clients. his parents footed the bill, had the windows on all their cars tinted for him to hide behind when he got out. at the same time, thousands of miles away, bitty sat at the top of the stairs in his parents’ house and listened to them wonder if they could afford to keep the magic of christmas alive another year.

people are stepping around them to get out of the cold, now, their eyes skipping right over the tree and the boys in front of it. once upon a time, strangers on the street picked apart jack’s overdose like a piece of tabloid gossip. strangers on the street made sure a thirteen-year-old kid had something to unwrap with his family on christmas morning.

“bits?”

bitty sniffles, swipes at one eye with the sleeve of his sweater. “yeah?”

jack lifts the tag gently off its branch, catches bitty’s gaze. bitty’s intake of breath is so sharp it’s audible over the music playing overhead. do you see what i see?

“what do you think? wanna go get us another cart?”

[afortoru]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝑩𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏

𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: 𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗋𝗈 𝗈𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝖾𝗈𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾

Pairing: ceo!Toji Zenin x reader

Genre: fluff, a bit of angst

Word count: 2.2 k

Warnings: old memories both happy and sad ones ig

Note: I wrote an hardcore family fluff...yaay! also im sorry Sukuna stans for making him your brother in this fic TT and if your are reading this, i love you *mwah*

The Zenin Group Pvt Ltd is one of the most infamous company in this world of bussisness. Everyone who's associated with it, gains nothing but tons and loads of money as being there slaves. Even there rivals have given up. Everytime there bussisness rivals try to took them down, something happens to their own company and they'll suddenly loose there shares and shareholders. Even a thought of having The Zenin Group as there rivals would make them shiver, causing them sleepless nights. 

But who wasn't affected by this so called infamous company was The Ryomen Interprises Pvt Ltd. The Ryomen's was on top with their business as much as the Zenin's were. They were infact the only rivals who were standing long and tall infront of the Zenin's. The two groups who couldn't bring each other down to hell by there little games decided to play with your's and the upcoming young ceo of the Zenin group, Toji Zenin's life. 

You were the only daughter and the second youngest child of the family with your older brother Ryomen Sukuna. 

Sukuna was one hell of a cold guy, ignoring the girls lurking around him to get his attention, not giving in into cheap pleases from the business partners and the list goes on. For the the outside world he was a stone cold narcissistic rich guy but the one's who got to see his soft side were the one's he loved the most, his dearest little sister,you and your mother. 

Sukuna hold you two like his life depends on you too and it did. Your father, Mr. Ryomen would also get his cold looks and an 'idgaf' attitude. Since Sukuna knows his father oh so well and what that man could do to continue his legacy.

That's why he didn't thought for a second when your father finally wanted him to take over their business and become the ceo. Sukuna thought he could finally make things right with the company under him but later did he knew that some decisions were still under your father's hand.

You were busy checking up the decorations for the party held for your brother being the new CEO.

"I see you're pretty excited about this, huh!" you can tell how annoyed he was with all the preparations. "Atleast let me pretend like I'm preparing for my big bro's wedding or something like that" you said walking towards Sukuna whose expressions has turned from annoyed to confused. "Well looking at the way you 'shoo' people around you specially women, I don't think so you're getting married any soon" listening to your words he looked at you with a annoyed grin "so is that what my sister wants from me now huh, what else do you want, should I rip my heart out for you" he stated "you should totally, maybe then I can sell it to buy myself the new book in my wishlist" you winked at him. Sukuna stood their with a shocked face thinking how can his lovely sister be so mean, oh wait you're his sister there's going to be something about you that's in his personality too. 

You went back to look over to the decorations as squeeled from your place as you felt someone's tickling you. "You really gonna be this mean to me huh, never thought this much money couldn't buy you a book but my heart would huh?" he jokingly mentioned while you were on the verge of tears from laughing. "Sukuna stop please, I'm sorry stop...ahhh you idiot I'm gonna tell mom, MOM" you made yourself free from him as you started running outside to the grand house garden. 

"Wait you-" he called you out as you made your way towards your mom looking back at him with a funny expression on your face. "I gonna tell mom you're- , ahh!" You weren't looking in front while running as you felt someone stopping you. 

"What's so funny kids?", you looked to see the face of the man your brother hates the most, your father. "Why are you running after her like that my son?" he stated with a smile on his face. Sukuna didn't mind his words as he took your hand about to leave but you pulled away. "Nothing dad, we're just going to see mom" you said not wanting to be rude to your father. 

He gave you a gentle smile and then he started walking towards Sukuna "Son i know you don't like me but atleast try to act not that mean, can't you?" , "I don't like you?, I hate you... stop being delusional." Sukuna states with an annoyed expression.

"What's happening, I heard Y/N call me. Why'd you call me dear?" you with both the men standing with you turn towards the voice coming from the other side of the hall, you mother Mrs. Ryomen. 

She walked towards you and the two men with a gentle smile. Sukuna looks at his mother and then he sees your face, she's exactly like mom, he thought to himself. 

She greets your father with a gracious smile, as he nods and smiles back. "Why'd you call me dear?". You pointed towards your brother, faking a pout "Kuna, he was tickling me, i told him not disturb me while I'm working for ceremony held for him and here he's not even a little pounce of gratitude on his face", he grunts listening you complaining like a little kid "hell I'm not , and did I asked you to do this decorations when we already have so much workers around" he says as he pokes you on your cheeks." Mom, you see how rude he'd became now,I-".

"My dear son you should be glad your sister is happy and helping with arranging the ceremony of you being the new ceo, am I right darling?", your father directed this question to you mother, she just noded instead of giving any answer. 

"She's not actually happy-", he was interrupted by your mom. "Um Sukuna, dear I need you and Y/N with me right now, please excuse us dear", she asks as a permission from Mr. Ryomen to leave.

You slightly smiled towards him before you started following your mom and Sukuna. As your father stands behind knowing that he won't ever get the same closure from you and Sukuna the like you give your mother. He still appreciated your kindness towards him, atleast you try unlike Sukuna. 

He sighs as he walked around the house checking the preparations being held for his son's being the new ceo. 

Mr. Ryomen won't say that he loves power, but you knew he does and he'll put his family on the line for this forsaken company. He won't even think once to choose his company, established by your so called forefathers over his wife who sacrificed her career, his daughter who was kind enough to still smile at him and his son who'll put his life on the line for his family. 

Sukuna sat with your mom on the edge of the bed as you were trying to find something in the wardrobe. "Mom you sure you haven't lost it and kept it in the wardrobe?" you have been looking for whatever it was and you can sense Sukuna's being impatient. 

"Mom, I don't think so this dummy would find whatever it is, you should go and check" he asked her receiving a "shut up" from you.

Your mom was about to get up to help you find it before you exclaimed, "I found it! Here!". Sukuna examine a medium sized, maroon coloured box that you were holding.

"Here mom, kuna this is for you…me and mom got this for you", you handed the box to your her. She looked towards Sukuna, who was now confused on what and why you two got any gift for him.

Your mom's hands moved towards his face as she gently ruffles his hair and places her palm on his now slightly blushind cheeks " for you my dear son" , she says with a motherly smile over her face as she hand overs the gift to Sukuna. 

"B- but w-why…i mean is there anything special?", you chuckled at his stuttering."Open it first big bro, don't you wanna see what we got for you?" you reminded as his gaze went towards the box, what could it be, Sukuna thought to himself as he starts unwrapping it.

"I- it's a w- watch, but w- why?",his question made you walk towards him as you sat on the other side of the bed beside him. 

"Because we love you and wanted to give you something since we know you're doing all this for us that's why me and mom decided to surprise you with this little gift", you said with a sweet smile as you can see his expressions soften. 

"Thankyou so much both of you!", Sukuna felt he's about to shed some tears but he contained himself as he quickly held both of you and your mom in his arms into a hug.

"We know why are you taking the position of the ceo in your father's company, son. M- mom's s- so proud of you, she's so sorry she couldn't-" Sukuna shushed as she's now sobbing into his shirt. 

"Mom you did enough for the both us, please don't say like this. Whatever we do, it won't be enough to what you did so please don't speak like that", he uttered as he hold the both of you more closely and tightly like his life depends on it.

"Everything is fine, big bro but I kinda being suffocated, you should do a little less exercise", your words made your mom and Sukuna chuckle as he let go the both of you."If I won't exercise then who's gonna protect you, huh?" he questioned with a smirk with his look diverted towards you. 

"I can protect myself, alright. Don't go on this pretty face, i can beat some asses too" you stated proudly pointing a finger towards your face."And who said you're pretty?", Sukuna's word made you pout, gaining a chuckle from your mom. 

"Hey! mom not you too" you whinned.

"You're the prettiest, dummy…happy now?", your pout turned into a very much satisfied smile from his words as you nod. 

Your mother on the other hand can't believe how lucky she got having you and Sukuna as her kids. She cherish you two too much than she already do. Everyday you two get older, she can't help but want to spend more time with you two, see you bickering, fighting, laughing, just the desire to see you both increases and she can't help it. She knows that one day her daughter and son would have there own family, their own kids and maybe you two won't have enough time for her but she's just happy with the thought of you two being settled down with your spouses oneday.

"Mom, why the teary eyes?", she was snapped back to reality as you wipes her tears away, she didn't realised she was crying.

"N- nothing, just you two make me so happy I can't get enough of you two. Always stay like this together, protect each other, always stand for each other and never let anyone else break this bond between you too…mom loves the both of you so much" she sniffles as she pats one hand on your head and another on Sukuna's.

You and Sukuna looked at each other before hugging your mom exactly how you did it when you were kids. You two used two jump on her everytime you came back from school or in any occasion when you missed her. She would always take you two in her motherly embrace and the what you two felt in her arms is something you can say that's better than the feeling of even being in heaven, so warm, so tender.

It would be true to say that the three of you don't wanna break from this hug, maybe an eternity would feel less cause this love is something you could never get tired of. 

Your mother is so lost embracing her most precious possessions.

You were glad to have a family, who loved you so much that you couldn't imagine anyone else to live you more than then. No there's no way anyone who could give you there heart like your family, or was there?

Sukuna on the other hand can't believe how he got so lucky to have you as his sister and her as his mother. The more he's with you two the more he wants to protect you two from this world. He want to give everything best in this world to you and your mom. Sukuna might not be able to fight his father or change the past but he promised to himself that he would never let his mom suffer again, she is happy now but he knows what she's been through for the both of you and you, he lives to protect you from anyone who even thinks to hurt you. He swear they won't see the sun if anyone would even dare to think about you wrongly. He had taken this unspoken pledge to shield you and you too believed you would not find any men like you brother in your life until you met him.

Tagging my babies:

@lotus-n-l0ve @luvjiro @luckimoon @vagabond-umlaut

I'm still an amature writer so feel free to advise me please.

[minimoxha]

I see the light

Summary: After his wife and daughter died he thought he lost everything. However, you for some reason, you'd didn't disappear. So, Miguel locked you up. He had to find some way to protect you so you couldn't be taken from him like Gabriella. What better way to do that then keep you in his dimension where he could get to you in case of anything

Warnings: Cussing, Nothing really

Chapter masterlist

The first place Hobart brown took y/n was to paris france, in universe 3202. It was a peaceful spider-man with its spider woman being the loudest thing in there. He’d been to paris before, among a bunch of other places in his travels to find actually cool things. Paris was something on everyone’s wishlist, it was bound to be on yours. The both of you stood in an alleyway after teleporting. Y/n looking around in awe and touching anything she could get her hands on while Hobie attempted to hide his spidersuit.

“Where are we Hobie?” She asks, walking in circles, touching everything. It was almost line she was a toddler who had never been able to let her mind run wild. It was cute.

“This ‘ere’s called Paris, Mate” (bare with me i’m imagining this is how they talk bare with me here now). “We gonna do some things you might like before we go see the fireworks” Hobie responds, walking out the alleyway with her in tow, not realizing the looks people gave. However, there was still a problem with the whole plan.

“You never told me what you want as payment!” She said, making the man hault in his tracks.

“Tell yer dad to get off my ass for a bit, Yeah? That’s what my payment is.” Hobie continued to walk, putting his hands in his pocket and changing his posture to something that really wasn’t good for his back. Y/n didn’t care though , she was too busy looking at the scenery and the people.

She did stare for too long which made people give her weird looks back. Or maybe it was the fact that what she was wearing was a bit over the top. A cute purple dress with flowers, her favorite dress. Miguel had bought it for her one day. It could’ve been because she was wearing fat cow slippers that mooed every time she stepped. “You look like a tourist, try to look like you at least live here” Hobbie laughed before walking into a macaroon shop. Y/n followed intently. The smell of the maroons hit her immediately and she immediately felt her stomach drop. “Y’a hungry?” She nodded. Hobbie walked to the counter and ordered two ice creams macaroon sandwiches and then took the girl to sit down T the table.

With The first bite, she was taken by surprise. Her dad had never made these things for her, she didn’t even realize these things existed. Would it be to much to say this was the best thing she has ever tasted in her now eighteen years of living? Hobbie saw her from across the table, smiling as she enjoyed the four macrons she had. They were extremely pricy and he’d never just pay for random’l shit like that that he didn’t need. He had never donr that until now. He couldn’t resist seeing her smile again.

When they left the cafe, he was now listening to her ramble about the food. Yeah, it was a little annoying but he was glad he could give her his first experience. His heart started beating at the the thought of her getting a bunch of other experiences before tonight. “We can go see the eiffel tower next and then we can go to another dimension, would you have fun with that? Y/nnie?” He asked.

She felt herself get giddy at the nickname he gave her. She had never felt this way when she was called nicknames by her dad so why did she feel this way with him? She also realized how when he spoke, her pulse sped up and how handsome he looked. Was this a crush? When the ones she’d see on tv and they would have amazing pilot build up before they get married and fall in love. The thought of having a romance like they did in business propanol or Att woo made her so cheerful inside. Their relationships were so cute, something she dreamed of happening when she was finally let down from her castle. Was Hobie the one?

—

“Jessica, you need to go send someone to investigate the whereabouts of this anomaly. He’s been through five universes. We need five of the teens on the universes.” Miguel said to jessica who gave a nod and went to go call all the teenagers to go on missions. Miguel was determined to get whatever anomaly was this powerful and before they would rip themselves through this one and hurt everyone inside.

The anomaly was leaving every single universe they touched in shambles, there was no telling which one they’d get next.

—-

Hobbie looked at the alert on his watch, and choose to ignore it and continue to show the girl around the Eiffel tower. Whatever they wanted wasn’t that important.

Taglist:

@discowizard88 @fairycorequeen @onyxstarhigh06

[betweensaintsandmonsters]

What’s up readers?! How about a little show and tell? Answer these 13 questions, tag 13 lucky readers and if you’re feeling extra bookish add a shelfie! Let’s Go!

Tagged by @willameena 💖💖💖 thank you!!! i absolutely love talking about books!! pls talk to me about books

1) The Last book I read:

so you don't get lost in the neighborhood by patrick modiano -- this is a book about the failure of memory i think. the narrator is forced to reckon with events from his past that he doesn't really remember? it's not as interesting as it sounds but it was an alright read!

2) A book I recommend:

the stardust thief by chelsea abdullah -- i listened to this audiobook on my way to work and then immediately bought a physical copy because it was so so good! it's a take on the one thousand and one nights and it's absolutely thrilling from start to finish <3

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

clap when you land by elizabeth acevedo -- books in verse aren't normally my thing but elizabeth acevedo is a master of the craft and this story of family is heart wrenching and made me cry

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

we are okay by nina lacour -- this is possibly my favorite book i read it when i need to cry or to feel something. i know that says nothing about the story but it's so good and queer and beautiful i highly recommend

5) A book on my TBR:

the 85 books that are on my bookshelf that i haven't read and my overused library card are taunting me with this question. the one i can see from where i'm sitting on my bed is i'm glad my mom died by jeanette mccurdy but i don't know if that's gonna happen anytime soon. i also really want to get to on earth we're briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong but i think that's also going to make me cry

6) A book I’ve put down:

i rarely put books down on purpose. often i'll start things and then life will happen and i won't want to start the book from the beginning again so it gets put down. i wish i didn't finish the hobbit because i was in 7th grade and didn't know you could just... not finish something you don't like. three books that i will probably get back to at some point though are: tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow by gabrielle zevin, the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon and helen of troy by bethany hughes

7) A book on my wish list:

i don't really keep a book wishlist! probably something by emily henry because i've been in a romcom mood lately

8) A favorite book from childhood:

inkheart by cornelia funke -- i think this is the book that made me love reading tbh i identified so strongly with meggie and i loved dustfinger and it just got me i also really loved because of win dixie (and i should reread it, i have a copy sitting in my kitchen right now)

9) A book you would give to a friend:

the long way to a small angry planet by becky chambers -- i lied earlier this might be my favorite book. you want a really good found family? you want a harrowing space adventure? you want to see characters that become more real? this is the book for you. this book is about the heart of a family and the home you make and the decision to keep choosing each other and being there in the good times and bad i don't have enough good things to say about it tbh it's pretty much perfect!! i gifted it to a boy once right before i left england (after he came to see a play with me having absolutely no interest in theatre) and having him read it and enjoy it was a highlight of my trip besides going on that date with him that i didn't realize was a date until i was on a plane over the atlantic.

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own:

crush by richard siken -- i'm gay i am legally obligated to own this book

11) A nonfiction book you own:

most of my nonfiction books are memoirs! but here are my top three that i will get to reading at some point!! 1. helen of troy by bethany hughes 2. poet warrior by joy harjo 3. something about the witch trials that i don't remember the name of right now and can't actively see on my shelf

12) What are you currently reading:

summer sons by lee mandelo -- it's gay there's ghosts and messy boys and grief and i'm a quarter of the way done and already know that i'm going to read it again because it's going to wreck me emotionally

13) What are you planning on reading next?

i think i'm going to finish invisible cities by italo calvino next!!

no pressure to do this!! but tagging: @grapenehifics @ragnarlothcat @kittonafoxgirl @bisexualobiwankenobi @tideswept @palfriendpatine66 @thegingerwrites @renlyslittlerose

i'd love to add more books to my infinite pile of books to read!!!!

[angelikook]

Love Blinds

Pairing(s): Blind!Jungkook x reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 4.7k

Warning(s): Accident(s)

Summary: You are his oldest and only best friend, but why do you leave him all of a sudden when he needs you most?

A/n This fic was requested by the sweetest person on the planet, @thehopelessromanticclub. I know this took me quite some time, because I'm also juggling with work and uni. Nevertheless, I had so much fun writing this. While this was one of the hardest fics to write, I enjoyed every process it took. Fun fact, this fic is literally the first fic that made me cry when I wrote it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I've never met a blind or visually impaired person in my life. Everything I've written about blindness and living as a blind person, I learned about them from the internet. I know that there's only so much one can learn from the internet. If there are any inaccuracies about them in this fic, please let me know.

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There was one thing on top of Jungkook’s wishlist: to be able to see his best friend, you.

It happened when he was too young to understand the world around him. He was around four or five years old. One morning he woke up still able to see cars passing by, people walking by, he could even name all the colors he saw. The next morning, he woke up to darkness, nothingness, and his mom’s cries.

He met you not long after. He was playing in the park while also learning how to use a walking cane. After half an hour of successfully not walking into anything, he accidentally tripped on his cane and fell.

He wasn’t a crier. So as the pain on his knees spread – he was sure it was at least bruising – he still kept quiet. It went like that for a bit since he didn’t have enough power to stand up again, the pain on his knees was too painful.

The next thing he felt was the soft touch on his free hand, the hand that wasn’t holding his cane. And then, he heard a girl’s voice, “Here, take my hand. I’ll help you up.”

With that, he took the girl’s hand – your hand – and introduced himself as Jungkook.

+++

Jungkook fidgeted on his seat at the bleachers as he waited for you. Hands were already clammy to the point he wanted to wash his hands. You were supposed to come a whole 30 minutes ago and he was supposed to be listening to his coach’s briefing by now. He tried to call and text you, but you didn’t reply to any of them. In your defense, you weren’t big on calling and texting, you preferred scrolling mindlessly on social media and sending him memes.

“Kook, coach Lee is waiting for you by the pool, don’t you wanna go?” His mom woke him up from his deep thoughts.

Jungkook sighed. “I’m worried about Y/n.”

The seat beside him creaked, a sign that his mom took a seat beside him. “Stop thinking of her. Obviously she doesn’t think you’re that important.”

“She was never late, mom. This is just a one time thing,” he defended you. He never understood why his mom disliked you. For all he knew, she had hated you since the first time you met him back at the park. All this time, his mom probably only tolerated you because she knew how much you meant to him.

“The show must go on. Worry about her later.” With that, his mom stood up and left him again with his thoughts.

It took him around five long minutes to realize that his mom was right. The show really must go on. Whether you came or not, he still had a competition to win.

Just as he stood up from his seat, he heard someone run to him.

“Am I late?” you asked in the midst of panting, seemingly you've been running.

Upon hearing your voice, Jungkook smiled. “Well, I’ll be on in a bit. So, kinda?”

“I know you’re gonna do great, as always.”

“And I know you’re gonna ask me for a free meal if I win.”

“‘When’ you win, you mean,” you corrected him.

He laughed heartily. He didn’t know why but you always managed to lighten his mood. “I think it’s time to talk to coach Lee. He’s been waiting for me.”

“It’s your own fault for waiting for me.” You lightly pushed his shoulder.

“It’s your fault for being late.”

“You know why I’m late.”

“You snoozed your alarm again?”

“Yep.” You pushed him again, this time a bit harder. “Now go. The competition’s about to begin.”

“Go sit beside my mom, yeah?”

You huffed. “Your mom doesn’t like me. I’ll sit here. I’ll find you once it’s over.”

“I tell you multiple times to ignore her. I want you there.”

The swimming competition went just like how his other competitions went. He listened to coach Lee, shook the hands of other participants, swam like he was born for it, and won the competition. It was easy. It became a routine.

“But your mom doesn’t. I’ll be okay, seriously. Just go, your mom’s already glaring at me.”

The crowd surrounding him and congratulating him, him thanking them, and him waiting for your turn to congratulate him also became a routine. A boring routine that he would rather skip. He’d rather celebrate with the people he loved, his mom and you.

After the crowd around him left, you finally came up to him and gave him a big hug despite his body was still half wet. It was the 'you' Jungkook always knew, supporting him no matter what.

“Congratulations,” you whispered to his ear. “Again.”

“You sound like you’re tired of congratulating me,” Jungkook joked once you let go of him.

“I'm not tired when it comes to getting free food.”

Jungkook chuckled. “You’re lucky the prize money I'll get will be a bit more than usual. I can take you to that new cafe you’ve always wanted to try.”

“Really?”

He nodded. In his mind, he could only imagine how beautiful your smile would be and how the glimmer of happiness in your eyes shined through. And just like that, the wish to be able to see you grew stronger.

Knowing how his mom was towards you, Jungkook took the initiative to celebrate his win in two different settings: once with his mom and once with you. He’d always done that despite deep down wanting to celebrate it with both his mom and you.

+++

“What’s your plan?” you asked after you picked up your ice cream that he paid.

“For? Don’t be cryptic, please,” Jungkook replied in a bored tone.

“For swimming, of course. I bet you’re gonna get another offer.”

“Already did. Coach Lee wanted me to join this year’s national competition. He thinks it’d be good for pushing my career forward.”

“I assume you accept it?”

“It’s not like I have any other competition at the moment.”

“Yeah, you’re right, I guess. When will it be, though?”

“Still a few months away.” He laughed when he noticed the strain in your voice. He assumed it was because you were nervous for him. “If you’re worried I don’t get enough rest, relax. Coach Lee purposely makes me rest for around a month.”

“For a person who’s never been to a national competition before, you sure seem so chill.”

“If I stress it out, I’ll be unreasonably overthinking.”

“Good wisdom.”

“I know. I’m always wise.”

“Says the one who got scratched by a cat because they kept annoying it.”

It was true, though, he indeed was scratched by a cat once. That was one experience that he didn’t want to repeat ever.

Jungkook protested, “That’s just one time.”

“But that one time makes you not always wise,” you teased him.

“I’ll never win an argument against you, will I?”

+++

Time flew after that. Jungkook really did take a break for a month. If by break it meant he was swimming every other day instead of everyday. And once the month was up, he was training intensely until it was exactly a month before his competition.

Knowing well that you were waiting for him on the bleachers, Jungkook left you to change his clothes into his swimsuit. To say that he was excited for today’s training was an understatement. His last training ended with him beating his previous record. And the day before that, he received an email from the mayor that he was proud of Jungkook for representing his city for the next national competition. He basically was on a roll for the last few days.

So it nearly broke his heart, he could almost physically hear it, when he came to the bleachers and his mom told him that you left.

“Why did she leave?” Jungkook asked with his eyebrows furrowed. That was not very Y/n of you to leave without noticing him.

“Who knows,” his mom answered while gently nudging him to walk towards the pool, “She has always been rude.”

“No, she’s not,” he protested. “Something really did happen, mom. Did she said something to you?”

“Nope,” his mom replied quickly. “Well, you can always call her later. You have more important things to do now.”

That was what he did. He practiced, practiced, and practiced. Lap upon laps he did, trying to shake the thought of you, yet he failed. A tiny voice at the back of his head kept telling him to check up on you ASAP.

Once practice ended, even before coach Lee could give him a feedback, he went straight to the changing room, changed into his clothes, and dragged his mom away.

“Where are you going?” his mom inquired behind him. “Coach Lee hasn’t done talking.”

“I want to meet Y/n.”

“She’s probably fine, Jungkook. You’re gonna look stupid in front of her for doing this.”

“You always tell me to trust my gut feeling. My gut feeling is saying that I need to go to her now.”

“Do you even know where she is?”

Jungkook was stunned for a second. He didn’t know where you were.

“I’m gonna call her. Let’s go to the car first.” With that, he pulled his mom again in the direction of the parking lot.

Inside the car, he indeed called you, but no matter how many times he tried, they all went through.

“No wonder,” his mom commented, “That girl seemed like she doesn’t care about you.”

“If she didn't care about me, she wouldn’t have come.”

“Probably she’s in her moody phase. Give her some time.”

Having enough of his mom’s rude comments, Jungkook snapped, “Mom, please. I don’t have time for this. Just take me to Y/n’s house.”

“I thought she’s with you,” your dad answered after opening the door to a very worried Jungkook. “This morning she said she was gonna accompany you to practice.”

“She did, but then left without telling me.”

“We’re gonna try to contact her, don’t worry,” your mom’s voice spoke up. “Just go take a rest, you seem so tired.”

Upon hearing your mom’s words, he realized that his shoulders had been hurting and his legs were cramping. Jungkook sighed. “But please tell me when you find her.”

“Of course.”

But no one contacted him for the next few days. Not you, and definitely not your parents. As days went on, he became more and more anxious. His phone calls and texts still hadn’t gone through. It was as if you disappeared off the surface of Earth.

He couldn’t even imagine what had happened to you to make you suddenly disappear that day. Not only that, the fact that his mom became more insufferable the more he talked about you made his blood boil every time he thought about it.

There was one time when Jungkook, who never raised his voice at anyone, raised his voice at his mom.

“Right now, your practice is more important than Y/n,” his mom had said.

At first, Jungkook had tried to ignore her in hopes that she wouldn’t say anything else. But he was dead wrong.

“Jungkook, are you listening to me? I said, focus on your practice, stop thinking of Y/n.”

And just like that, Jungkook had snapped, “You’re not helping at all, mom.”

Little did he know that him snapping at his mom only made his feelings even worse.

There was also a time when Jungkook deliberately ran away from practice after hearing his mom’s words about you, leaving both his mom and coach Lee worried. Sure he came back later that day, but he had hoped it was enough of a sign that he didn’t like what his mom had said.

“She’s been gone for days. I doubt she’ll come back. She probably already forgets you by now,” was what his mom had said to trigger such a reaction from him.

And it was only the day before when Jungkook had yet again rebelled, this time to the point he was gone all day.

That day, Jungkook’s mom had said something along the lines of, “You should be glad that Y/n’s out of the picture, you can focus more on winning the competition.”

But to be quite honest, it didn’t make him focus on his practice anymore.

His time was slower and slower to the point coach Lee – who was never mad at anyone – stopped that day’s practice abruptly.

“Whatever problem you have right now, I hope you deal with it soon. I don’t want your head out of the game like this, especially not when the competition comes.” With that, coach Lee had ushered him home.

Later that day at home, his mom had also lectured him about ‘being a good son’ and ‘making your parents proud’. But he cared none of that. He still had a missing best friend to find.

His mom had sighed when she realized that Jungkook hadn’t been listening to her. “I don’t know what else I need to do. Paying for your practices takes almost all of my savings, yet you're getting worse and worse.” Then she whined, “Tell me what more I need to do.”

Only two words had come out of his mouth. “Find Y/n.”

+++

For a few days after that, Jungkook still kept at it with his acts. He only came to practice when he felt like it. Once he was no longer in the mood, he just left. Not at home, but somewhere where he didn’t have to meet his mom – the playground where you and he met the first time. He wasn’t gonna lie to himself about the fact that he frequently went to the playground in hope to find you there. But just like how bare his phone is from your messages, the playground was bare of your presence.

Sitting at the playground made him remember that one time when you and Jungkook planned to go visit your grandpa that lived just outside the city.

One day after sitting at the playground for sometime, he walked back home with an ache both at his chest and head. While the competition was getting closer and closer, he was still no closer to finding you. He almost ran out of time, and unfortunately, also his patience.

As he felt his cane touched the familiar gravel in front of his house, he sighed. It was time to face his mom again. But right before he opened the front door, he heard a talking voice from inside. He recognized the voice as his mom's. He pondered for a moment whether he should walk in and interrupt his mom. Then he decided against it when he heard his name in his mom's conversation. It sounded like his mom was on a phone call since he couldn't hear the other person's reply.

"–lengths I did for Jungkook." Pause. "I just want the best for him since it's gonna be his first national competition." Pause. "I got rid of his best friend." Pause. Jungkook felt like his heart stopped beating for a moment. "Yes, the girl who made him blind."

If his heart stopped beating before, now it was beating so fast. Adrenaline was pumped throughout his body, making his head almost hurt.

There was no way what his mom had said was true. None of it. Not the fact that his mom got rid of you and definitely not the fact that you made him blind. No way. His mom was just bluffing.

But as much as he liked to believe that, his mom still carried on with the conversation. "I don't know what else to do." Pause. "I've tried everything I could, but now he just skips practice whenever he wants." Long pause. “Guess I’ll try that. Thanks.” Pause. “Bye.”

With a huff, Jungkook opened the door. As he closed the door behind him, he heard his mom gasping.

“You’re already home?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I am, for a while.”

“Did you hear everything?”

“Not everything. But enough to know what you did.” Jungkook deemed it was the right time to let out his anger bit by bit.

“So now you know the truth. Why I don’t like Y/n and why I got rid of her.” It sounded like there was no remorse at all.

+++

It was his fourth birthday. Just like how kids who had birthdays before him celebrated their birthday with the whole class, Jungkook also celebrated his birthday with his classmates.

“Jungkook!” A little girl called him while running up to him.

He smiled upon seeing the big present on the girl’s hand. It was big enough to fill the girl’s hands full.

Once she was close enough, she handed the gift to him. “This is for you. Happy birthday.”

Jungkook accepted it. “Thank you, Y/n.”

Like any other class full of kindergarten kids, the class was chaotic. The teacher was busy trying to sit everyone down and left the birthday boy with his best friend on their own. That was a big mistake.

Little you had seen a lot of funny videos depicting pranks people do on their friends and wanted to try one on Jungkook. So just as Jungkook wanted to take a seat beside you, you pulled his seat, making him fall butt first to the hard floor.

Then everything flew by. He only remembered faintly. He remembered his loss of vision. He remembered hearing cries. He heard a lot of cries. From himself, Y/n, his parents, Y/n’s parents, even the teachers. Then the strong smell of disinfectant indicated to him that he was in a hospital.

There were also doctor’s checkups. A lot of doctor’s checkups. He remembered those checkups almost made him stay up all night. It was hard to forget how scared he was of the doctors handling him.

The only memory that engraved into his mind was when the doctor told his parents that he was permanently blind because of the accident. Then he heard more of his parents’ cries.

+++

Jungkook shook his head in disbelief. “You’re wrong, mom.”

“You’re still defending her?” His mom raised his voice. “Look what happened to you after she came into your life.”

“I’m defending her because the good things she’s done outdid the bad things.”

His mom grunted.

“Yes, she might be the one who made me blind, but she is – was – also the one who pushed me to become a national athlete.” Jungkook regained his breath before continuing his speech. “At the start, I didn’t really like swimming. But when Y/n said that it was cool to be able to swim fast, I was motivated.” Pause. “And don’t even talk about how many times she supported me, accompanied me. She never skips coming to my competitions and practices.”

All he said was true. As much as he wanted to hate you, he couldn’t. A part of him – a big part – still needed you and missed you.

With one last statement, Jungkook ended his conversation with his mom. “You not being able to forgive Y/n is the reason why my career almost ruined. If you really want me to succeed, help me find Y/n.”

It didn’t even take his mom more than three days to find you.

Jungkook was listening to a podcast when he received a notification from his mom. Words couldn’t explain how shocked he was when he realized it was the address he knew well – your grandpa’s house. With you on his mind, he left his house and went to where you were.

Because your grandpa only lived outside the city, it didn’t take long for Jungkook to arrive there. The familiar smell of lavender still lingered just like how he remembered it. He smiled internally knowing that your grandpa still took care of his lavender plants after all this time.

Right before he got the time to step further near your grandpa’s house, he heard a voice calling him. He instantly recognized it as yours.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, your voice getting louder by the second indicating that you were walking towards him.

Couldn’t hide his smile because of meeting you again, he grinned. “What are you doing here?”

“I asked the question first.”

Jungkook sighed. Still the same stubborn Y/n that he knew. “I’m looking for you. Now answer my question.”

“Helping my grandpa around. It’s been some time since I went here.”

“But you never stayed here this long.”

“Is that a problem?”

Jungkook’s face fell. It looked like you didn’t want to talk about the elephant in the room. “I think I know the reason why you’re here.”

“Of course, I already told you the answer.”

“No, I mean–” he hesitated, not sure how to break it to you, “–I know the truth. And I’m sure you know about it, too.”

You grunted. “Jungkook, I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”

He decided to just drop the bomb at once. “The accident when we were young, my blindness, my mom hating you and making you leave me.”

He heard you chuckle at his response. “If you really think the reason I’m here is because of your mom, you’re dead wrong.”

Good. He made you angry.

“I’m not gonna beat around the bush, if you have nothing important to do here, I suggest you leave.”

“Can we talk about this first?”

“What is there to talk about?”

“Everything!”

“I don’t have the time. Just go home.” Jungkook heard your footsteps, you were walking away.

“Please, Y/n,” Jungkook called.

“What is there to talk about?” you repeated the question after stopping in your tracks.

Almost giving up, he answered, “Us.”

“We should never be friends, Jungkook. Your mom was right to separate us.”

“Why?”

“Look at you!” you half-yelled. “Look at what I did to you! Oh, gosh, I can’t even look at you without hating myself.”

“Y/n-” Jungkook took a step.

“No. Listen to me first. I’m really grateful to know you. But your mom was right. I did too much damage to you. We can never be friends.”

“Y/n, I don’t understand what you mean by that. It was an accident, yes, you knew no better. But don’t think it was a tragedy. It wasn’t and it’ll never be,” Jungkook tried to reason with you.

“How can you call it ‘not a tragedy’ while you’re standing there unable to see permanently?”

“I lived with this for so long I almost forget what it feels like to be able to see. Being blind is a part of me now and I already accept it. But why can’t you and mom accept me?”

The next thing he knew, you ran to him and hugged him so tight he was scared that would break a bone. But another part of him, his heart specifically, drumming against his chest he was sure you could hear it.

“I’m so, so, so sorry. You don’t even know how much I’m sorry,” your cries muffled by his shirt. “I’m sorry if I couldn’t accept you. Never even think once that I have bad intentions towards you. I would never do those things to you intentionally.”

Jungkook patted your hair softly. He was lying if your cries didn't hurt him.  “I know, I’ve forgiven you a long time ago.”

“I tried to make amends with you. I befriended you, supported you, accompanied you. I basically did everything I could do. But when I realized that you were nicer than what I had thought, I only felt worse.”

“I understand.” This time Jungkook brushed his hair through your fingers. Your hair smelled like strawberries, the exact smell he liked. The smell he had missed.

“And when your mom told me that you would do better without me, I believed her.”

“That’s where she’s wrong. I did worse, you can ask her. I couldn’t do it without you.”

You pulled back slightly, but not breaking the hug. “But you’re so good at swimming.”

Jungkook smiled. “Only when you’re watching. So, can you, please, accompany me again?”

“What about your mom? She would be angry.”

“I already explained everything to her. In fact, she was the one giving away your location.”

“That’s because you forced her,” you whined.

“To be honest, I don’t really care if she still can’t accept you. At least she won’t bother you, hopefully.”

You sighed happily. “Okay. I trust you.”

As he laid on his bed that night, 

*Add a scene where Jungkook lays at night, thinking about how grateful he is for making amends with you. He also realizes that maybe he has a crush on you.*

+++

True to your words, you went with him during his practices. Although his mom never talked to you or even approached you, Jungkook felt like things were going better. At least she wasn’t talking bad about you anymore.

On the D-day, you came early – even before Jungkook himself – much to his surprise.

“You’re already here,” Jungkook said in surprise when he heard you call him. His mom was talking to coach Lee, giving him the perfect opportunity to talk to his best friend.

“For around 15 minutes, yeah,” you confirm. “Are you nervous?”

“Don’t even ask that kind of question.”

“Okay, sorry.” You laughed. Oh, how he missed that sound. “Hey, I don’t know if you’re allowed to eat a lollipop before a competition, but I’d like to give you this.”

He felt you pushing what felt like a lollipop into his hand.

“Aside from eating heavy meals, I can eat anything. So, thanks.” He opened the lollipop and put it into his mouth.

“I thought it would make you feel less nervous.”

“You know I can handle nervousness well.”

“You’ve never been to a national competition before, though.”

“Fair enough.” A sudden thought flash in his mind. “Y/n, I have something to tell you, but I think it’s better to tell you after the competition.”

Though it was a nation-wide competition, everything went quite similar like Jungkook’s previous competitions. Minutes before the competition began, he received a briefing from coach Lee, shook hands with the other competitors, and then the competition finally began.

Everything slowed down once he was in the water, it was only him, his mind, and the flow of water around him. Much to his surprise, everything went smoother and calmer than he had anticipated. He never knew that national competitions weren’t much different from his other competitions. In short, he was in his element again. He felt free.

Sooner than what he had liked, the competition ended and he was allowed to go home empty-handed. Empty-handed because he lost. He came in fourth place. Not as good as what his mom wanted, but for a newbie like him, it was just the beginning. He wasn’t sure what was the reason, but he really wasn’t feeling sad or anything.

Once he walked out the changing rooms, he felt someone hugging him. From the smell, he could tell it was you.

“I’m super proud of you. Fourth place in your first national competition? You’re gonna be a legend,” you rambled in his ear while still hugging him.

Jungkook hugged you back. “Thanks.”

You finally let him go. “I overheard coach Lee tell your mom that there’ll be another national competition. The organizer isn’t as big as this one, but he thinks it’ll be good for you.”

“Wow. Isn’t that, like, too soon?”

“Don’t know when it’ll be, though. You can just ask coach Lee.”

“I will. Thanks, Y/n.”

“So, do you have something to tell me?”

Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. “Huh?”

“Before the competition, you told me you have something to tell me.”

“Oh, right.” To be honest, he kinda wanted to regret it as soon as he had said it back then. Damn you to always remind him.

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing serious.”

“It sounded serious.”

Jungkook groaned. “Do you really need to know?”

“Of course. I’m your best friend. I’m ready to listen to whatever you say.”

“Then I hope you’re ready to change that status, too,” he blurted. Jungkook wanted to hit himself as soon as he realized what he had said.

Y/n coughed, probably in surprise. “What? What status?”

Jungkook took a deep breath. “I have liked you since I could remember. Don’t you think it’s time to change our status from best friends to something more?”

There was a delay in your answer. Jungkook bit his bottom lip, scared you wouldn’t like what he had said.

“Right now?”

“Well, yeah, if you’d like.”

“Of course I’d like to.” Then Jungkook felt your weight on him; you hugged him again, this time stronger than before.

And without words, Jungkook felt your soft lips on his. It tasted better than what he had imagined. He smiled to the kiss.

There were two things on top of Jungkook’s wishlist: to be able to see you and to be your boyfriend. At least he was able to check the latter.

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The State of Things Yet to Come

The Ghost of Spacefarer Things Yet to Come is a hard guy to get ahold of, but I have at last wrangled him and tied him down until he wrote the blog post he promised:

The blog post he promised

I have looked into the future… where I am from… and ok yeah let's start off with the big news first! In the future… ProtoDungeon: Episode III will be on Steam!

That means you can wishlist ProtoDungeon: Episode III on Steam!!!!

And here's a little mini announcement trailer for just this occasion :) (and turn up the sound! I made a lil tune for this!)

So please go give it a wishlist!

Steam's inner machinations are something of a secret to everybody, but wishlists absolutely help the folks who make games. It's one of the most important ways you can help me, even if you're not sure you'll ever buy it. Wishlists get games seen, so please wishlist!

I'm really excited about this. This one actually my original plan for ProtoDungeon, to put each individual episode up on Steam and use the experience to improve… but I was talked out of it by a guy who was mad that Episode I wasn't a full-length game, and by his predictions of my failure. I switched to only publishing for free on Itch and decided The Waking Cloak and ProtoDungeon DX would be the only games I put on Steam.

I wish I'd never listened to that guy. He clearly didn't care about me, and I let his words and attitude control me.

The future is ever-shifting

There's a lot of things I've been doing because I felt like (and have been told) I should be doing. So for the future, I had been intending to really hit the ground running on all fronts, posting to social medias everywhere, launching tiktok and insta reels and youtube shorts, and generally pouring my efforts into "marketing."

I don't think there's anything wrong with this, but it's also… not me? It's not really what I want for my future. I've thought long and hard about this hobby, and I want to enjoy the parts I enjoy, and not let pride prevent me from letting other people take over the parts that I'm not really good at and don't have the time for anyway. Let's face it: my plate is full with my job, my kids, my house, taking care of my wife, chronic illness/pain, etc.

On top of that, I've been off social media for a long time now, and it's been so restorative. I don't fault anyone for being on any of them, and I'll poke my head up every now and then, but… I'm letting go of "making it" on socials. I can't keep up with the sacrificial requirements of the Algorithms. I can't keep up with the comparison game with everyone else making stuff on there. I had spent a lot of time curating my feed(s) so that I saw only wonderful people making wonderful art, and I still felt like I was always "coming up short."

The new plan: just post here on the devlog… just things I want to post. Focus on making my games and having fun doing it. I'm not gonna spend time finding the opportune moment to generate traffic or to say just the right things to sell people on playing my games or learn all the metrics and stuff. I won't post in every conceivable space hoping I'll get enough momentum to go viral or even just noticed.

Will that mean fewer wishlists, fewer followers, fewer people playing my games? Yes. And I'm content with that. I just want to enjoy the act of making games. I don't need to "make it big" anymore. I look up to folks like ConcernedApe (solo dev of Stardew Valley) and Team Cherry (small team behind Hollow Knight) and their lovely games and experiences, but I don't need to BE them anymore. I'm me, and I like being me.

Okay but what am I actually doing…?

Practically speaking, the plan is now as follows:

Publish ProtoDungeon 3 on Steam/Itch for $8.99, with a two-week launch discount of 15% (so, $7.64). I'd like this to be in Q1 of 2025, but I'm keeping things loosey goosey here

Publish PD1 and PD2 on Steam for $4.99 each, with the same builds as on Itch now (so they won't have Steam achievements). These might come before 3 is released, we'll see!

Continue with episodes 4 and 5, also on Steam/Itch--these will be significantly quicker to develop than 3, as they will be smaller and also will not require fundamental changes as 3 did. Pricing will probably be lower than for episode 3 and likely higher than episodes 1 and 2.

All of the above will be self-published!

Once those are complete, I will be working on The Waking Cloak, and it's here that I'm seriously considering looking into a publisher. I do want my games to be played by more people, and having professionals handle all the marketing and socials and console porting and other fine details would be such a burden off my shoulders. I've got my eye on a few in particular, but I'm putting more thought into this before I say anything else.

What about…?

Why are you working on ProtoDungeon and not The Waking Cloak? Trick question! (You didn't know you were asking a trick question, did you?) I say this a lot but it bears repeating: ProtoDungeon is helping me build up the mechanics and assets for The Waking Cloak, and is helping me get lots of practice with game design, as well as with art and publishing and so forth.

Will ProtoDungeon have spoilers for The Waking Cloak? Nope! The only spoilers will be purely mechanical, but I'm holding back a lot of puzzle concepts and a few mechanics for TWC itself. ProtoDungeon is a separate prequel story and has unique dungeons that will not show up in TWC.

What is ProtoDungeon DX? This will be the combination of all the ProtoDungeon episodes, with the early episodes rebuilt, and with additional content (like an overworld). I'm planning on working on this after The Waking Cloak. There will be some kind of discount based on your collection of individual ProtoDungeon episodes. I don't know how that works yet, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Whatever happens, I want to make sure it benefits y'all.

Why isn't ProtoDungeon free anymore? Simply put, because I think they're worth it. I've put a lot of time and effort and love into them. Also, I have a family to support, and this hobby is not free either! The episodes are short, yes, and that's why they'll cost less than a movie ticket.

Patreon? Development will be open and free as always, but patrons will get a first look (like with this post!) There are other goodies at higher tiers, too. And I should mention: funds go towards stuff like key art, publishing fees, and other minor operating costs. I was able to commission some wonderful art for ProtoDungeon: Episode III with y'all's support, but I've also bought some music tools (such as Chipsynth SFC), and I have a Studio Spacefarer P.O. box as an official address for legal reasons when publishing newsletters. I also am able to keep the main site, https://studiospacefarer.com, up with these funds. So, thank you!

To the future!

ProtoDungeon: Episode III has been a difficult beast to tame, partly because of fundamental changes to all the systems, but also because of where it fell in my life, amidst the pandemic and grief and changes and moving. It's become more important to me because of that, because it's a way to process everything. I had always known ProtoDungeon was about grief, but now it's much more personal.

I'm excited to work on things again. I look forward to sitting down and working out the details and adding the new ideas. I can't wait for y'all to experience it. Thank you for following along, and here's to future days!

Oh and did I mention…? please wishlist ProtoDungeon: Episode III on Steam :)

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-02-26

Critical vegetable issue (ran out of spicy chilies and my farmers market still hasn't reopened)

Listening: A Lunch Between Order and Chaos, an avant-garde strings album by a bunch of people. Here's "Unison"

Do you like songs that sound like they go on forever? Do you like songs that make you think of the formal descriptions of impressionist art? Do you like someone who is very good at the violin playing some shit that you would never think to play on the violin? Well I have an album for you.

Watching: Some more Gundam, also, I have to link the Friends at the Table stream vods for Keith and Jack playing Crusader Kings 3.

Obsessed. I think I might understand Crusader Kings now.

Reading: Bah, bad week. Rifling through my short sci-fi story collections but nothing that caught my eye. I need to get something new from my kobo wishlist.

Playing: No dark souls, amazingly! I fell into an Inscryption hole playing Kaycee's mod. It took a while to get back into it but I finally got a full clear. I got an ouroboros and the necessary cards to do an infinite boost on the ouroboros damage, where you sacrifice it over and over. Learning a lot of things about how to play Inscryption that I never picked up in the main game, I deeply undervalued black goats and beehives before.

Making: Spent a LOT of time on the NAS case. Had to babysit the printer over a couple days to get the print through, mostly without incident except for the one time it popped off the plate and crashed the printhead a few hours into a print. Sorted out bed heating and insulation and now it's fine.

That is coming along, doing a lot of reading on painting and also a brief detour into composite skinning because I considered that. Not doing that but there's a local company that makes a heat-resistant PLA that I might use to try and do composite skinning projects.

Designs for the NAS are basically done. I might do a different top cap but for now reusing the same cap on the top and bottom is probably fine. This is false-colour for clarity, it's all black PETG (although the caps might be PLA. I'll see.)

Now it's a matter of printing final parts, sanding, painting, and making sure I have all the fasteners I need for said things.

Tools and Equipment: I have a set of culinary long tweezers that I keep around ostensibly for microscopy shit and I am constantly using them for everything. Grabbing stuff that falls under couches, detaching plastic from printbeds, extending my reach by a few centimeters, yanking on jammed needles in quilting. Really quite useful.

[literaticat]

I’ve been researching agents before I query my MG Fantasy, and after [many many hours of research] I only have SEVEN agents I feel would be a good fit ??? I thought I’d have, like, 30 on my list!! I’ve read lots of query advice about doing agent research and finding good fits so many I’m taking it toooo far? The writers I follow on socials will query 40-50 agents and I don’t even know how to find that many! I guess my question is… should I cast a broader net and if so…. How do I best figure out who to query without just spamming my book out there (not my style).

I mean listen maybe you are just *choosy* and there's nothing wrong with that. (I confess, I'm a bit of a snob myself!) -- But I am guessing there are more than 7 good agents that do MG fantasy. ;-)

Maybe you already did all this, idk, but here's how I'd personally do it, it's a three-pronged approach from broad/general to specific.

FIRST -- I'd start a spreadsheet and begin filling it out by looking up all my favorite authors (who write my kinda book) just to see who their agents are. Listen, you gotta start somewhere. This info will often be in their acknowledgments or google author name + agent. Make a note of these names because they may well come up later!

SECOND -- I'd get a (Free) QueryTracker account. With this, just the most basic thing, I narrowed down in five seconds that there are 87 agents who are open to MG Fantasy queries specifically. Now, a lot of these are multiple people at the same agency which you'd have to narrow down, some agents might have only put "Middle Grade" and not SPECIFIED fantasy but they do in fact take fantasy -- but this is a start. You're starting to familiarize yourself with names, and this is just another way to cross-reference. I WOULD NOT USE THIS AS MY MAIN RESEARCH TOOL -- but it is useful to know about!

THIRD, and most importantly/usefully, I'd get a Publishers Marketplace account. I wanna say this is $25 a month (though maybe the price has changed idk, but it's around that) -- you don't need to keep the account but getting it for a month would be incredibly useful. The thing to do, IMO, is, instead of immediately just combing through deals -- a tedious process -- start by going to Dealmakers.

Go to "Browse Top Dealmakers" and select Agency > Children's: Middle Grade Fiction > Overall. You'll get the top 100 agencies for MG Fiction sales. It looks like this:

From here, you can click each individual agency name and see an overview of all their sales and deals with TONS of info, or click "View Deals" and see all the deals in this category. You could also go in the top and switch it to "Agents" and look at the top 100 agents, but a lot of them will be at the same agencies, and you should only choose one per, so that's for later when you are narrowing it down!

With all of this info, you SHOULD have a fairly robust list of agencies that do MG fiction and have a track record of sales. (There are at least 60 or so on there that have multiple MG sales in the past 12 months!) -- note that, of course, the size of the agency has something to do with this too, though -- agencies with multiple agents doing the deals obviously will have more deals in a category - a one-person shop or an agency with only one kids specialist will obviously have lower total deals, but that doesn't make them less good. So don't be swayed by just Size of Agency, the nature of the deals are important, too.)

Anyway -- let's say that there are 40 agencies here that seem like great possibilities. They have clearly done multiple MG sales, you've heard of their books, etc.

Within those agencies, there might be one obvious "MG Fantasy" agent -- OR, there might be multiple you could choose from. So when you are whittling that down, you can go to their agency website, read their bio, read their wishlist, read their client list, etc. Maybe a couple of the agencies will get knocked out at this point because actually, it seems that none of the MG deals were fantasy and nobody seems to like fantasy in their bios -- but I'M BETTING that there will be more than 7 people on the list at the end of this process!

GOOD LUCK!

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

Mel's Top 3 Reading Recommendations

Introduction

As I enter my third year of reading I can now say that I have read enough books that I can start recommending some of my favourites to people. As of this blog I have read 77 books since 2022 and let me tell you its been a fun ride for sure. One promise I intend to keep though is to try read diversely and not just pick up Marvel, Star Wars and Doctor Who books. I mostly am starting to fulfil that. When I was younger all I read was Daisy Meadows Rainbow Magic Fairies Novels but as an older reader I'm going to do my best to make sure my reading is enjoyable and as diverse as possible.

I'll make another list once I'm six years back into reading but for now these books are books that have made a huge impact on me and are ones I would demand for you to check out if you haven't done so. These books are books that instantly sparked with me and that I found relatable. I can assure that the list isn't just scifi or Star Wars and Doctor Who novels. These are novels that struck a strong impression with me that are some of my favourites. I need to listen to more novels

There's been a lot of highlights but as much as I've loved them I've felt like those highlights haven't been as important to share. The books I've chosen are so important that I believe the 2nd and 1st entries need to be on the English Curriculum instead of outdated poop such as Of Mice And Men. Whilst the third entry is still an important read I feel like the top 2 are good educational tools whilst also being enjoyable books in general. The sad thing is though that I know they'd refuse the two books I've chosen due to their queer themes. So I'm sharing them with everyone is this post so that they can get the hype that they deserve.

Without further or do I'm proud to present

3: Light Of The Jedi By Charles Soule

Now I know what you're thinking but Mel this is a Star Wars book I don't even like Star Wars- Shhhhh. You may not like Star Wars but let me tell you with honesty that The High Republic is one of the best Star Wars eras due to how fresh it feels and who inclusive it is. If your a Star Wars fan and haven't read these your missing out. If your not a Star Wars fan I'd still recommend this one due to how orginal is and how it focuses on community and people coming together during a disaster.

For those who haven't read this wonderful introduction into The High Republic. Light Of The Jedi follows the pov of mutiple Jedi and government figures as they try stop a hyper space disaster from ravaging other planets. The villians The Deadly Nihil may or may not have pov chapters too. Normally stories with mutiple characters pov would be really hard to follow but not only does Soule manage to make it work he also manages to make it super entertaining.

It's such a unique way of story telling and a really good introduction to the Star Wars world even for those who may have never seen the films. If your a prequels fan and hated The Jedi this book will entirely shift your view on them and make you angry they fell so far into The Jedi of the prequels. There's also some really healthy Master Apprentice dynamics such as Bell and Loden as well as Burryaga and Nib. Its so refreshing and made me not only hooked on The High Republic but also desperate to pick up more Star Wars books.

Can recommend enough giving this book a chance as I promise it'll be worth it.

I had no idea that the next book would be so gut Punching. My second recommendation is...

2: When Our Worlds Collided By Danielle Jawando

I have never been more thankful that I picked up a book out of sheer impulse. This wasn't on my wishlist but I went with my friend and once I read the synopsis I impulsively bought it along with the book I went to the store for. At the time I didn't know if I'd made the right decision but now I know I did. This is one of those books that in my opinion needs to be in the UK education curriculum instead of harmful ableist books like Of Mice And Mine. It's so educational and raises awareness of what it's like to be a black teenager in the UK. It critiques society's harmful structure and also shows that tragedy as difficult as it has the ability to bring people together. I loved and if anybody is looking to diversify their tbr I'd recommend it in a heartbeat.

For those who haven't read the novel When Our Worlds Collided follows teens Chantelle, Marc and Jackson as their worlds collide after witnessing the murder of 14 year old Shaq. Their world view gets flipped and they have to question the institutional systems in police. All of the teens are in Yr 11. Chantelle a working class teen has to deal with a teacher who is deeply prejudice towards her, Marc has to deal with a new school and the struggles of being black in the foster and Jackson who comes from a rich background has to find his true friends and discover what he wants in life. All of them are relatable and have like I teased their own struggles to deal with throughout the book and Shaq's death fuels them and their new friendship.

It's a deep and heavy novel but super important novel to read. Of course I'd give a trigger warning for any bipoc readers but if your you must check it out. You want everything to be happy and go well but you eventually get a wakeup call and realise that's not releastic. It does have a lot of black truama but it's also hopefull and allows for these three teens to form a life long friendship. The sad bits are heavy but the lighthearted moments make you smile. My favourite lighthearted moment had to be Chantelle and Marc teasing Jackson over his love for Star Wars.

So I'm begging you please check it out, it's the book you didn't know you needed to pick.

Now my final pick is another book that early teen Mel absolutely needed. It healed my inner child. My number one recommendation is...

1: The Many Half-Lived Lives Of Sam Sylvester By Maya MacGregor

This book saved me. I'm so glad I picked it as one of the first queer books to read. I've had a lot of religious truama and struggled to accept myself being Nonbinary but this book was super affirming and it was so glad to have Sam's identity normalised. The best part though was the incredible Autism representation. Like Sam I'm Autistic and Nonbinary and I felt like the Autism representation was perfect. Nobody was ableist to Sam and they all accommodated them. Even the teachers were brilliant. I also loved how their special interest of studying people who died before 18 wasn't mocked or turned into a caricature. The murder mystery itself was also really gripping. No spoilers but it feels like the scene from Spider-Man Homecoming where Peter opens the door and discovers who The Vulture is. It's a book that slaps and is gonna be a super gripping read.

For those who haven't read the novel. The story follows Sam Sylvester a teen who isn't optimistic about their move to Astoria after experiencing truamatic hate crime in their previous town. Things get much more exciting when they not only meet new friends and a potential partner but also discover they are living in the same house where Billy a teen is the 1980s "accidentally" died. Sam and their new "friend" Shep aren't convinced it was an accident though so they decide to investigate. And let's say the answers don't disappoint at all.

It's an amazing novel with am entertaining mystery to solve, found family and healing from the past. It also really portrayed autism well and didn't turn Sam's special interest into a characteriacture you can tell an actually Autistic person wrote the novel. The queer representation is written just as well too. The author talk really informed how much love Maya put into the novel.

Like I said it healed my inner child and is overall just a wonderful book. You should absolutely check out, it has some of the best Autistic representation ever and has scenes that will leave you a gape when you realise Vulture was Liz Shaws Dad.

Out Of All My 5 Star Reads This Is Definitely The One I'd Pick Out The Most.

Conclusion

So that has been my Top 3 Reading Recommendations I hope at least one book has appealed to you and I absolutely promise to do another once my 5th year of getting back into reading is complete.

There's still so much I want to read and am excited to do so. Whilst I love Star Wars books I am trying really best to diversify my tbr as I don't want another situation where I only read Rainbow Magic Fairy books. Sam Sylvester and When Our Worlds Collided are clear examples of contemporary novels I've been able to enjoy.

Reading is great but remember that even if you want to do it for "fun" diversifying your tbr is important.

-Melody-

They/Them

[6of575]

my goal is to try and make at least a post a day on here, even if its nothin very interesting to anybody else

i feel like,,, if i can finally successfully make it a habit to post and engage, it might just trick my brain from task avoidance

so! post done and heres the part for me thats fun:

(under a cut since its ramblin long)

the books im currently reading concurrently are some conlang construct books mr am got me that have been on my wishlist for ages, along with a very cool book about black holes and theories surrounding them, which mr am loaned to me from his collection

one of the things we share is a love of science and space, and more specifically, stars and time travel and all the things about our known universe that black holes straight up break

i have a lot of fun chatting with him; i really cant overstate the value of a friend so genuine, who i am never too much of, and i can talk about all my interests without the reflexive dread creeping on in

all that bullshit i learned growing up, yanno the kind: "im boring, im dumb, who could possibly enjoy swapping rock facts, much less listen to hours of it even when it our interests DONT align"

like, theres so much else about my friendship with him thats meaningful, but thats top tier right there

and lately? ive gotten a few others in my corner, who when i share, im starting to feel like that with them, too

its so weird! to have gone from one person to a tiny community of folks (and i mean little! its like,, five? six? of us max usually) that thrive on a love of the weird and the cringe and the stubborn hope

plenny others have waxed more eloquent than me about this sorta thing--how fandom spaces come sorta pre-fab with common, shared interests that its fans bring, and they build their fort and theres rules already laid out, and it becomes a second (sometimes first) home, of sorts

but when its starting from scratch, when its about stuff and is made by people that others just wouldnt ordinarily invest in or look at without outside prompting, thats not the same! its not a bad thing, more neutral, but its stressful, its really such a lonely feeling

except--when you finally find it, that person, and thats a community of its own, and it can grow, and suddenly you swappin stories, throwing jokes! and memes and links and hey inevitably, theres also those what ifs about your little guys

and everything is srs and sacred and everything is hilarious and "i cant believe this is real life" levels of stupid

you get to learn habits and quirks and whole personalities

"hey this reminded me of you" "hey, check out this view" "oh, thats right, yer the possum dude" "you love medieval lore--and i read this, and what do you think about it, too"

its suddenly kind of a fandom space after all, and its like, still work of course, reaching for and keeping more and being a person with, it aint that neat or pretty

but its got warmth and joy and expansion, after a lifetime of making yourself small enough to try and fit

you end up fans of your friends, fans of their life, hyping each other up and up and up about the most mundane shit and it starts to look like not even the skys the limit

planning things to do together, spending long hours into the night to parallel play with vidgames or watchin movies like time aint nothin thisll last forever, right? (it doesnt, always, but thats also part of this, and the ones that stay, the ones that work with you

those are the ones waking up to backread your chats like its the morning newspaper

and your life matters

like its better than the best hot goss, its saturday morning cartoons and their favour ice cream flavours

only now we adults and its also commiseratin over breakups and bills, and cross-country moves, and its celebrating that i saw chickens in the yard today and you finally got your boygirlthemsomethin gender fuckery juice)

idk idk idk

i feel some kinda way about all that

i never thought id make it so far that im nearly forty

never thought id get to ask "okay, well, now what? what do i wanna do, and try, and be?"

im... starting small i think, and im for reals happy, happier than i have been in years; i learned how to be alla my friends biggest fans, and im starting to finally believe

other people can feel that way about me

i just really think thats kinda neat

[the---hermit]

06|12|2022

My months of rest and relaxation // day 28

Winter is definitely approaching. This morning when I got out to go to work everything was frozen. I can see the snow on the top of the mountains that surround me, and I cannot wait for it to snow here as well. I am not the biggest fan of the cold, but I adore snow. It just makes evrything so cozy, and there's nothing better than to have a walk in the snow and then go back into the warmth of your home.

Productivity:

worked in the morning and most of the afternoon

continued my re-listening of the magnus archives

practiced Irish on duolingo

Self care:

read first thing in the morning

made sure to drink enough water during the day

lunlun's reading challenge // day 8

What is your favorite book cover ever? As with everything I cannot choose one single favourite thing, there's so many sstunning book covers it's impossible. I tend to like a lot books that have paintings on the cover, like A Certain Hunger by C. G. Summers. My copy of The Master And Margherita by M. Bulgakov is also really pretty (it's part of a series of classics editions that are simply stunning, in fact I have a couple on my wishlist). I linked old posts in which you can see the covers I am talking about!

📖: The View From The Cheap Seats by Neil Gaiman, Heart Magick by Harmony Nice

[honeyviscera]

hihiii !! ^O^ hope you dont mind me sending this so suddenly :"D i saw the post thingy ab the questions and it seemed fun !! so if you dont mind:

1, 17, 28 ( + maybe 38 ) ?

( also i hope youre doing well !! ^^ <333 / p )

hiii kiwi!! always nice to hear from you!! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) and of course i don't mind!! i reblogged the ask game bc i wanted asks :3 i hope you're doing well too <3 anyways, without further ado:

1 - what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

hmmm..... on a bit of a sad note, when i was a kid/young teen, i was always very much an outcast. people consistently found me weird and offputting, and i was very lonely. but i remained true to myself no matter what-- i knew it was pointless to try and "fit in" (because i'd always do it "wrong" anyways)-- so i have a very strong sense of who i am, and i am determined to love myself no matter what. it is also because of this that i'm so determined to be kind. i want to make others feel welcome and loved around me. i don't want to ever treat anyone the way i was treated. i know how much it hurts to be alone, so i want to do what i can to ensure that it won't happen to the people around me. so that's thing #1.

uhhh secondly! for a more lighthearted example, i'd say being in fandom! i've always kind of just kept to myself and have never been involved in major drama, so fandom has always been a favourable experience for me. it started when i was a young teen on pinterest just staring at (what i now know was stolen) fanart and obsessing over my faves, and now i'm on tumblr doing the exact same thing years later! but now i have online friends :) my interests have always brought me so much joy, and having a space to obsess over them as much as i want has just made me even more passionate i think. :3

thirdly, i'd say jazz music. my parents love jazz and play it very often at home. it's a genre i grew up listening to, so it just feels warm, familiar, and home-like. it also inspired me to learn the saxophone in junior and senior high school, and i loved playing jazz songs with others. jazz has been with me for so long :,)

17 - name 3 things that make you happy

oooh ok!!! 1. i love making art, so whenever i get a chance to sit down and make something it's just so nice :))) and i love admiring my creations afterward. 2. i love spending time with my friends! hanging out with them always makes me feel warm. 💖💖 3. my beloved matching bokuto + akaashi nendoroids!!!! i love them so much im so happy to have them. my beloved beloved sons. i love them so much im so lucky i found them at the mall :,)

28 - do you collect anything?

as you might have suspected from my above answer, i collect anime figures! my collection is still very small as i started fairly recently (and my parents are always on me about spending my money more wisely), but i love collecting them!! you can see what figures i have and which ones i want on my myfigurecollection.net profile! ^_^

the two top figures on my wishlist are the new miku x cinnamoroll nendoroid (aaaaaa) and. literally any kaito figure. they really haven't made many......... i need one though :( my little guy :(

38 - fave song at the moment?

i'd say loneliness of spring by inabakumori! the official english cover of it is really good as well. it captures a lot of things i've been feeling lately.......

im also obsessed with chogakusei's newest cover, konton boogie !! :0 it's so good, as his covers always are.

[captainelliecomb]

WIP Wishlist Round Seventeen

WIP Wishlists

The Lion and the Lake by slipsthrufingers (2,393 words, first posted 29 Dec 20)

Summary: The girl in the village had tried to talk her out of the journey. “You won’t find what you want up there,” she said earnestly, though Brienne had not listened.

“If there is no lake, then I will simply appreciate the view from the peak then climb back down,” Brienne insisted, stubbornly.

Things I Love: The worldbuilding, the potential in Brienne's backstory, Brienne's search for Oathkeeper, Brienne's characterisation, that cliffhanger ending.

The Pricking of the Veils by @angelowl-fics (563 words, first updated 31 Dec 21)

Summary: The portal looks innocuous enough. It’s a massive rectangular mirror that spans the height of the wall from floor to ceiling. On closer inspection, however, the white border that frames it is recognizable as weirwood and the shimmer within the glass pane denotes its mysticism.

King Bran has assembled his advisors today to bear witness to the pricking of the veils, as he calls it. His grace maintains that their reality is simply one of an infinite multitude that runs parallel to theirs. He claims that every choice, every action or inaction, can ripple out and lead to vastly different outcomes. And that exploring that potentiality is critical to clarifying his reign.

Things I Love: King Bran and his multiverse, everyone's agreement that two Bronns in one reality would be a terrible idea, Brienne worried about falling to pieces over seeing Catelyn Stark again when in fact she should be prepared for King Jaime, Brienne trusting them to warn her and learning she shouldn't have, the painful emotions already building in this one short chapter.

Inhale by Anonymous (13,394 words, first posted 8 Oct 21, last updated 19 Oct 22)

Summary: Like it says - inhale. Jaime kept the gown, when he’s lonely he gets it out and pretends she’s still there.

Things I Love: The delicious sexual tension between Jaime and Brienne, Jaime gentle and careful in how he takes care of Brienne and her injuries, Jaime slowly undressing Brienne, Aunt Genna's letter of admonishment, the slow, slow burn, the dangerous plot looming over them.

a hungry dawn by renlybardatheon (aheartcalledhome) (21,138 words, first posted 11 Jan 20, last updated 14 July 21)

Summary: by chance, two babies that will change the fate of westeros are born on the same day: one late, the other early. the three heads of the dragon unite at casterly rock, and whether it's for better or worse is yet to be seen. robert's rebellion is over and the baratheons have taken the throne, but that does not mean war is no longer on the horizon for westeros.

the lannister family now faces an uphill battle against trauma, unhealthy relationship dynamics, and the fruits borne by their own schemes for their troubles. oh, and someone put jaime, cersei, brienne, and tyrion in charge of raising a toddler. oops.

Things I Love: The premise of the series (this is the fourth story in a series about Jaime time traveling and trying to set things right, how he changes with all the things he lives through, the pain of growing up no matter how many times you've done it), young Brienne and Jaime supporting each other through terrible things, Brienne's characterisation, all the ways Jaime tries to change things.

the top of my to-do list by Valmalpal (29,905 words, first posted 21 Aug 22, last updated 20 Oct 22)

Summary: Jaime has a problem. It’s tall, huge, and freckled. It’s a towheaded plank of a girl and her name is Brienne Tarth.

Things I Love: Jaime's obsession with Brienne, how hot they are together slowly moving closer to sex, Brienne's mix of stubborn and shy, how they care for each other, the way the tension builds.

[ausetkmt]

Sean Paul has been running reggae and dancehall since the early 2000s, charting with hits like “Get Busy” and “Temperature” while solidifying his spot as one of the best artists of his era. After numerous accomplishments like winning a Grammy Award for Best Reggae Album and an American Music Award for Favorite Pop/Rock Male Artist, the renowned hitmaker continues to create bodies of work for the world to enjoy. 

In a conversation with REVOLT, Sean Paul spoke about his love for dancehall and reggae, and how today’s artists can show respect to the genres. The Kingston, Jamaica native also talked in depth about his relationship with Beenie Man and reigning together as the top dancehall artists.

Check out the exclusive Black Music Month chat below.

What do you think about the current era of reggae and dancehall? Which artists are doing a good job of carrying the genres? 

I’m very proud of the genre and the many influences it has had on many different forms of popular music, and popular names who do utilize it – from reggaeton to Afrobeats, as it lives on in those people and genres as well, not just the people from Jamaica. It’s bigger than us now, which is sometimes a bit nerve-racking or overwhelming. But at the same time, there are some players who are hot right now like Skillibeng and Skeng. Also, the ladies are doing their thing right now like Jada Kingdom, Stalk Ashley, and Shenseea. I’m happy to be a part of it, and I’m loving the vibe of the young kids doing their thing. 

How would you describe your relationship with dancehall and reggae? 

It’s a very big part of my life, my self-expression, my ego, and my day-to-day thoughts. As a kid, we didn’t have circuses or Nintendo to play – we had football on the road, cricket, and songs. It’s one of Jamaica’s best pastimes, so for us, it’s a part of our DNA. Similar to people in Middle America who have country and Westerns that explain their ways, or hip hop music for somebody who comes from The Bronx. That form of expression with hip hop, dancehall, and Afrobeats is us telling the world who we are. 

How have you been able to maintain your connection to these two genres while also tapping into the pop world and exploring other musical stylings? 

Even though I have hit songs that are more pop-oriented or a hybrid of what dancehall’s hardcore elements are, I’ll never say I’m not a dancehall artist. I’ll always look for the hot riddims that are out there and listen to what the culture is saying whether I like it or not. As someone who has accomplished so much for the genre and myself, I would say my word counts and [it holds] more weight now. My opinion, even if I don’t put out songs every year, is taking part in the culture while shaping it as well. 

Is there a dancehall/reggae artist you still want to work with? 

Last year, I released an album called Life We Living, where I collaborated with 19 different dancehall and reggae artists from the old school and new school – it was a wishlist I had. Me and Gyptian have always talked about doing a song and we’ve done demos together, so that’s one I’ll lean to say I would love to collaborate with. Also, I would say Stalk Ashley as well. 

Some artists have been met with scrutiny after dabbling in dancehall. What’s the best way creators can show love to the genre without appropriating it?

I think just the mere fact they put out singles and don’t say this is my dancehall single – they have the upperhand, while we have the influential soup we serve to everybody. We are the net that holds a lot of the popular music together. Coming here to work with some of our legendary producers is a way to do so and also saying, “This isn’t my latest single” because younger people who are 12 years old only knew “Baby Shark” about four or five years ago — they didn’t really know in-depth about music from artists. They hear a new song by an artist and it’s dance-oriented — the kids will say, “This is innovative” and receive it like it’s new. If I put out a country and Western album and say, “This is my latest music,” but I do dancehall and reggae, I think Willie Nelson would call it silly for you to be saying that’s dancehall music. Maybe they won’t be as petty as me or maybe they will say, “This guy thinks he’s doing his own version of the music, but it’s really ours.” I have a very small and weakly respected genre to represent, and I want to fly the flag as best as I can, and be a defender of the culture. 

You and Beenie Man were holding down reggae and dancehall during the 2000s and even collaborated. What was that reign like? 

[Beenie Man] and I have done many songs that didn’t get released – the last song with me and him came out in 2015. As dancehall artists, we record a lot of music, and some of them hit in certain areas while some hit all over the world. It’s a living, evolving relationship that you have with these producers and artists. Beenie Man is a consummate performer and a legend out here performing for people at 9 years old. There’s been times where he was heavily booed and has now become the king of the space.

Tell us about your Captain Morgan campaign for Vita Coco Spiked and why the collab was a good fit for you.

I’m always down for collabs and this one seemed like a great fit because it tastes good (laughs). The thing in Jamaica has been “The rum is something to sample,” so while I’m used to it, mixing it up with coconut water is something people don’t know about. When we have beach parties in Jamaica, and you’re drinking the rum, but the sun is dealing you, having a Vita Coco is essential. I’m loving the vibe of it.