#But no way am I going for rank 5 in all roles for a good long while. I wanna work on getting my combat to 100 first and then get void

[paladincecil]

I won a Lightbringer ring in osrs tonight by answering a question about full metal alchemist xD

It's worth 3mil but I'm gonna keep it'll be useful when skilling :)

[cosmerelists]

If Other Stormlight Characters Served as the King's Wit

As requested by anon. :)

"The King's Wit" is there to insult people in the king's stead. In this role, Hoid basically gets to stand at the entrance to feasts and make fun of people. It's a good gig for him. But what if other characters had this job?

1. The Stormfather

Stormfather (rumbling with displeasure): You have broken an oath today. Stormfather: You promised your son that you would play "Shattered Plains" with him this afternoon, but you did not. Stormfather: Though you feast for today, my storm winds shall one day scatter your dishonored bones. Elhokar (visibly sweating): Ha ha my new Wit sure is, ah, intense!

2. Kaladin

Kaladin: Ew. Another Lighteyes... Kaladin: Sniff, sniff! Smells like the exploitation of the powerless in here! Kaladin: I can name a dozen men better than you and guess what--they're ALL darkeyed. Kaladin: Nice outfit--did it come free with your ancestral privilege?  Elhokar (muttering to himself): I will not put him in jail again, I will not put him in jail again, I will not...

3. Shallan

Shallan: [sketching] Hapless Lighteyed guest: Is that...me? Shallan: It is! [shows Ideal Self portrait--it's the same person, only their sadness and distrust is gone and they shine with an earnest and honest light, looking out toward their future] Hapless Lighteyed Guest (visibly tearing up): I...It's beautiful. Shallan: Please, go ahead & take it! Elhokar: Shallan-Wit, why is everyone at my feast introspective and crying? Shallan: I'm really good at art.

4. Adolin

Adolin: Wow! You are so brave to put those colors together, and in a style from two years ago ago! Adolin: You are almost pulling it off. 

5. Dalinar

Dalinar: Hello. I could not help but overhear your heated argument, my friends. Dalinar: It reminds me of a tale from the Way of Kings, which I will now quote from memory... Dalinar: ... Dalinar: Aaaaand, they fled. Dalinar: That's the third time that's happened this evening.

6. Ialai

Ialai: [hands hapless lighteyed guest a folded-up sheet of paper] Hapless Lighteyed Guest: W-Where did you get this information about me? And my husband? And my...former boyfriend's sister's cousin? Ialai: [merely smiles] Hapless Lighteyed Guest: W-What do you want? Please! I'll do anything! Ialai: Why...nothing at all. Yet. Please enjoy the feast.

7. Lift

Lift: Mmmm....4. Lift: A solid 6! Lift: Perhaps a 5, but ONLY because of those pants. Lift: Wow! An 8! Wyndle: P-Please mistress, I don't think the job of the King's Wit is to rank the butts of all attendees! Lift: They need to know.

8. Jasnah

Hapless Lighteyed Guest: Ugh, I don't think it's right for the king to employ a heretic as his Wit! Jasnah: It's strange--one might think that your faith in the Almighty would inspire you to strive to be a good man, yet in reality your mother weeps each and every night to have produced a son who loves drinking and gambling more than he loves his children, his wife, or indeed the Almighty. Jasnah: Should you wish to inspire faith in others, perhaps you should try to demonstrate even the smallest reason why yours has produced an iota of good for anyone in this world aside from yourself. Elhokar (across the room, watching): I...am afraid.

9. Lopen

Lopen: Hey, I know you! I got a cousin in your army! Lopen: He always laughs 'bout how weird it is that your officers make the men pay for their own boots 'n' stuff 'cause it's an army not a charity, right? But then your officer son gets an allowance which is funny 'cause that kinda seems like the 'charity' thing that an army isn't! Lopen: We Herdazians tend to use a word to mean a thing, yeah? But you Alethi sure like to make a word mean whatever it is you want!

10. Szeth & Nightblood

Nightblood: Evil. Evil. Evil. Definitely evil. Big evil! Little evil, but still evil. Szeth: You've identified every guest so far as evil, sword-nimi. Nightbood: Yeah, I'm so good at detecting evil! So when does the slaying start? Szeth: I told you. I don't murder entire parties anymore. That is my past, but it does not have to be my future. Nightblood: But you're the King's Wit! You got wit-tle down the evil, right? Szeth: That is not what that means, sword-nimi. Nightblood: ... Szeth: ... Nightblood: People sure do speed up when they have to walk past us, huh? Szeth: I am pretty sure that means we're doing a good job.

[phantomchick]

Naruto and being the Underdog

Okay so recently I was discussing naruto's characterisation in the comments section of a fanfic and the author was explaining that they don't like/never vibed with Naruto's character (which is totally fair). But then they explained how they felt the supposed underdog setup was contrived and didn't really work because Naruto never actually starts at zero thanks to his jinchuriki powers and being the yondaime's son. (And so here I am, on my soapbox to discuss how Naruto and the concept of being and underdog relate.)

On a physical level perhaps this applies, but Naruto places an equal (if not larger) amount of focus on the emotional action as it does on its plot action.

On an emotional level he has to work for each and every one of his personal relationships.

He wants to be hokage a role he can only take if he is both respected by his village and powerful enough to protect it. It''s a twofold goal. And in terms of the social aspect this is clearly stacked against him due to the hatred and exploitation of jinchuriki as well as shinobi in general, achieving emotional connection and dialogue between people who are used to might makes right or who are pre-disposed to look down on him or want to kill him puts him firmly at a disadvantage narratively.

With the notable exception of Hinata whose love is unconditional, whether it's Tsunade, Neji, Sasuke or Gaara or even Kurama the respect and attention that naruto craves are things he actively pursues in both good and bad ways and he earns them through his own effort.

He does this both by striving to understand these very different people and where they're coming from as well as surviving all the shit the world throws at him. Emotional and physical tasks.

In terms of being a jinchuriki and getting the rasengan easily thanks to his shadow clone bullshit / birthright connections to the yondaime It must first be acknowledged that the jinchuriki power is more of a disadvantage than a boon to him at first. First, because of kurama actively going out of his way to mess with his chakra control as a kid while doing the leaf exercise he was unable to learn the regular clone jutsu; it also results in him experiencing the trauma of discrimination and isolation from a young age which could easily have led to festering self-hatred and alienation if not for Iruka's intervention, it results in multiple S ranks who are fully capable of killing even shippuden level Naruto targetting him, and while the trade-off of boundless energy and survive-ability is immense those same boundless resources have the potential to burn him alive if he loses emotional control/gives into his most negative emotions - that's basically making the subtext text at that point, the story is about his emotional development and growth, something his "OP buffs" don't earn for him. Let's talk about boundless chakra resources for a moment. At the end of the original series, he only knows the rasengan; the rasenshuriken, the shadow clone justu and sage mode/yinyang mode by the end of the series and that's like 5 justu tops if we're counting yin/yang/bijuu mode and sage mode as jutsu. The majority of what he learned from jiraiya for three years seemed to be taijutsu only with a side of failed bijuu control. Naruto has his jinchuriki chakra from the start but that doesn't translate to an ability to use it, he has to spend hours working out how to do the shadow clone, he did not figure out how to do the jutsu because of his chakra even if that was the reason he was able to use it at all, and when it comes to the rasengan I will cite [someone who deleted their reddit account] here:

Naruto completed the first stage in three days and one night. He figured out how his chakra needed to move to burst the water balloon (thanks to a cat) but because he didn't have the necessary chakra control, he improvised by using another hand. He completed the second stage in three weeks or so. The next day(?), Jiraiya gave him a hint to improve his focus which allowed him to finally complete it. And the third stage was completed seven days later to win his bet with Tsunade. Once again, Naruto didn't have the control to focus his chakra the correct way despite his continuous efforts. It wasn't until he came up with another improvised method by using a shadow clone to focus the chakra that he was able to complete the final stage.

Meaning he is the one who comes up with unorthodox methods, such as also using his other hand, or using a shadow clone to focus the chakra, to learn it in four and a half weeks but he still had to figure out how to do it all himself. The shadow clone would've been useless without his understanding of the jutsu or his ability to do the individual parts of the jutsu. He earns the jutsu and could conceivably have learned it the old fashioned way were he not under an artificial time limit as both Jiraiya and Kakashi, both without jinchuriki power, know it and can use it.

Now I'll talk about his supposed privilege as the yondaime's child: Sasuke gets chidori and later kirin thanks to HIS connections but that's never remarked on in the same way. And in fact most people in the naruto-verse learn a big jutsu from their clan or parent; see Might Gai, the genius of hard work, learning the eight gates thanks to his father. The rasenshuriken is something he's only capable of learning thanks to his chakra and shadow clones I hear you quote Kakashi, but it's again, something he couldn't do without actually putting the work in to learn the jutsu. Naruto is on a time crunch because of Akatsuki, the fact he is capable of learning the jutsu once he has advice on wind chakra from Asuma and has practiced forming the rasengan and doing windblades enough means he didn't need the extra chakra to do it, having the chakra didn't automatically make him capable of the rasenshuriken all it did was speed up his chakra control practice exponentially, it would have taken him more time practicing but he could have learned the jutsu eventually even if he wasn't a jinchuriki. Now summons. Being the Yondaime's child might get him an in with Jiraiya to let him have the toad contract, but Sakura and Sasuke also get summoning contracts thanks to personal connections with Tsunade and Orochimaru and Jiraiya only gets him the opportunity. It's Naruto who has to use his willpower to stay on Gamabunta's back and it's Naruto who has to form relationships with his summons like Gamakichi, (a bond that becomes instrumental toward the end of the 4th war). Additionally learning Sage mode wasn't just a result of Naruto getting the contract because neither Sasuke nor Sakura achieved it despite both having contracts (and despite Kabuto managing it where Sasuke didn't) Sasuke with the Hawks as well as the Snakes. And importantly Naruto was unable to use clones or his extra chakra to speed up his training in this. In fact the clones only come into it after he has successfully mastered sage mode and function as a limited extra resource that's can't go beyond three shadow clones meditating and this doesn't function as more sage powah but as a means of extending his sage modes duration, a workaround that's only needed because his being a jinchuriki gets in the way of him gathering sage mode in real-time with the toads on him. In conclusion while his chakra lets him practice jutsu to learn them faster, this is not the case in either his sage mode or the yin yang release and only applies to the shadow clone, rasengan and rasenshuriken - all of which he had to actually learn and understand the mechanics of otherwise the jutsu wouldn't have worked no matter how many shadow clones he had try it and that with the exception of shadow clone he demonstrably could've learned them without being a jinchuriki. And in the case of rasengan and rasenshuriken he is under artificial time-limits imposed by Orochimaru and the Akatsuki.

So that's shadow clone, rasengan, rasenshuriken and sage mode covered but what about bijuu mode. An overpowered special mode he only gets for being a jinchuriki, that B only bothers to teach him because he's a jinchuriki, surely that's LEGIT op bullshit. No? No. At least not in comparison to the Sakura's forehead seal from Tsunade, Sasuke's Mangekyou abilities like izanagi, giant purple warrior and amaterasu, Obito's mokuton, Madara's sage of six paths abilities or the rinnegan's everything, anyway. Not to mention what the edo tensei are capable of.

The only reason bijuu mode works is that he earns Kurama's regard on an emotional level, it's not something which being a kage's kid or having jinchuriki chakra levels actually does fuck all to contribute to. He was that all along but Kurama still hated him and tried to take over his body. It's Naruto himself who has to reach out and make that effort to understand this person who he's always seen as a burden or a curse or an annoying tenant who doesn't pay rent, a monster who tries to kill him and take his body. It's Naruto who has to put in the emotional labour and see Kurama as a person, no matter the harm he's done.

Naruto is the underdog in spite of being "the chosen one" and having the strongest bijuu and a kage father because emotional labour is never easy and in a world like his it seems insane to even try. It's why everyone except him was prepared to give up on Sasuke, Naruto recognises his anger at Itachi and desire to avenge his family as valid, Naruto when he finds out the truth about Itachi from Danzo tells Sasuke he gets it, why he wants to destroy the village, why he's so angry, when Sasuke changes his mind and decides to become hokage instead of destroying it so he can change it, Naruto understands WHY even if he still wants to be kage himself. The problem with Sasuke is that his anger is self-destructive and self-isolating, not that it exists, it's when Naruto fights him one last time and makes Sasuke realise that he's only hurting himself and his loved ones at this point, that "talk no jutsu" finally works and Sasuke is able to listen to Naruto and come home.

It's also why Naruto earns being hokage; in a world full of killers, someone who is capable of acknowledging the harm done and not ignoring or forgetting it (like how he tells pain he can't forgive him), but who is also capable of looking past that and understanding the motivations and feelings of the person he's dealing with and talking to them on that level as equals hits so hard. It just felt like a fantastic set up for a diplomatic hokage capable of dealing with other kages and achieving a peace in spite of the fact they're all to the last, untrustworthy ninja mercenaries who are generally very ends justify the means. In a world of kill or be killed Naruto is still willing to kill, but he's also willing to understand and to talk. And he wasn't born with that, he worked for it and failed often, especially with Sasuke, it was never easy, it often appeared hopeless but he kept trying.

And we rooted for him because of it.

[esggs]

Obeisance to the Arrow - Noritoshi Kamo

#4 - Cursed Bride

[Gojo Satoru vs child marriage - who wins?]

[tw: not much really, noritoshi kamo x reader, forced marriage, child marriage, mention of child murders]

#3 - Menarche #4.5 - Sweet Dreams #5 - Man and Wife

Jujutsu Tech School, Kyoto

“MARRIED??!!??1?!”

Momo can’t believe it, really. “Married?? Married???? NORITOSHI –” She pants. “MARRIED?”

“Momo, don’t react like this, it’s his duty as a clan lea-”

“Utahime-sensei, HE’S SEVENTEEN!” Miwa cannot believe it either. 

“Miwa, Momo, behave. He feels bad enough already-”

“Ugh, married at his age.” Nitta is actually enjoying this a bit, despite being worried. “I heard he’s been engaged to his -wife- since he was twelve!”

“WHATTT” Momo and Miwa both scream.

“-- and the girl was eight!” Nitta’s breathing hard, excited to be of service. 

“I think i- i have to go sit down.” Momo says, “do you believe this, Mai? Huh, Mai?”

“And actually-” Nitta flashes

“Nitta, I’m telling you, behave yourself, all of you kids, have some class–”

“--the girl is Mai’s cousin!” 

Amid a chorus of shocked gasps, Nitta earns a box on the ear by Utahime. This is the worst way it could have gone, Utahime’s head hurts at that spot near the eyebrow. 

Just last night, Utahime was pouring down a bottle with Shoko on video call when she heard a pounding on her door. An ashen faced Noritoshi Kamo stood before her, trying his best to be composed. She had known about the engagement and all, but to console a student about his impending and inevitable marriage– she had really underestimated the role of a teacher. He asked her what he should do. 

What was there to do? “If you don’t get married, you lose out from the Clan Head position” and by extension the chance to give your mother a good life, but Utahime didn’t say that part out loud. “If you do get married, well, you’ll have a higher rank as a married man.” Gods above, what am I saying, he’s a kid. “It’s her we need to think about, more than you, no?”. 

Utahime had actually offered him a sip of her soju mix, which he graciously declined. Poor chap looked like he really needed it. 

“What does she want to do?”

“I don’t know, Utahime-sensei.”

She mused over it for a moment. “Noritoshi, we’ll take care of it, okay? You go to bed now, it’s late”

But he didnt move from the chair he had collapsed on. “Sensei”

“Yes?” 

“It’s not just the wedding, it’s all this, the things are set up like, the expectations on me-” he fumbled for a bit. “sensei, we’re expected to have children, as soon as possible.”

I should have brought out the whisky.

“We’ll handle everything, you don’t worry, okay? Besides, do you want to proceed with the wedding, Noritoshi?”

He hesitated. “I see it to be beneficial, and as you said, it’s more of her who’s affected. It is selfish of me, I realise. I want to do whatever would be correct, but I don’t know what.”

Yeah, Utahime thought, the poor girl will have to immediately take on the duties of a wife, managing the household and everything else. And then children, and as many as possible too. Poor child. 

“Sensei, does Gojo Satoru know?”

Gojo Satoru did know. In fact, said Gojo Satoru was at the Kamo estate, waltzing through the sunny gardens with you. You in all traditionals, as was expected, and him in his dark sunglasses and sneakers. 

“I’m happy to see you here, Gojo-sama.”

“Ah, I usually am not invited to things like this.” he grinned. “What excuse did you give to the elders?”

“Asuka-chan, Noritoshi-san’s cousin, is interested in you. I convinced her that I am a close friend of yours.” you said, “In fact, I am setting you up with her now.”

“No one can blame your Asuka-chan, she has good taste!”

“But I called you for something more important, Gojo-sama.”

“Hmm?” He smiled.

“One of Ryomen Sukuna’s fingers is in a school, and it’s attracting curses that would probably kill the children soon.” You looked at him, “Gojo-sama, I’ll tell you more happily, but I need you to fulfil your promise first. I hope you understand my situation.” 

Both of you had stopped in front of the garden lake. Koi swam around, unaware of any Sukuna or weddings. 

—---

“Yaga, Yagaaaa”

“No, Satoru, I’ve said what I said.”

“She’s sharp as a knife, and with the way things are moving, you would be thanking me for finding her! Now -” he stood up suddenly, “imagine if we had her a month ago” The Night Parade of a Hundred Demons. 

“You’re trying to kill her then? Make a jujutsu sorcerer out of a non-violent cursed technique!”

“She’ll help Shoko”

“It’ll anger the Zenin Clan, possibly the Kamo Clan too.”

“Blame it on me.”

“Satoru” - and Satoru beamed, knowing he’d won. So Yaga just wanted to cause a show for fun? He didn’t even resist much. “Satoru” sighed Principal Yaga. “Be careful with that child.”

“Ah, yes yes” Satoru was already bouncing out the room.

“I mean it, Satoru!” Yaga yelled behind him. “She’s a danger to society!”

Damn right she is.

Satoru got you a cell phone secretly, which was great even though you quickly realised that you barely had anyone to call or text. The Kamos did not approve of it (apparently, you were too young for a cell phone, as your father-in-law told you, while he was planning the catering for your wedding). You had no friends, really, having been homeschooled (with your technique, all you had to do was to collect all the books and use Distillation and viola! You understood everything. Maybe you should apply for a PhD). Satoru Gojo was the only contact. Except, maybe … 

Next thing Satoru got you was a lawyer to investigate if you had been entrusted with any assets. Bzzzt! Unfortunately not, the assets from the Zenins meant as a wedding gift went to your husband only; besides you were both minors. Satoru opened a bank account for you and put a little something in, for you to have some independent cash.

Satoru Gojo was a good man, despite what the elders said.

#4.5 - Sweet Dreams #5 - Man and Wife

Bonus: This is how I suppose their first text would go. They’re really not close to each other lmao.

[respectthepetty]

I think Mark is like… a vampire or something, does he ever sleep?

He is on every GMMTV SHOW!! I just keep thinking of that clip of him in school president when am he says “ I’m playing the vicar, the father and every other character” (or something like that! I forget!

so……. Would you like to Rate the shows Mark has been in? 👀

Anon, I cannot rate the shows Mark has been in because if Mark is in them, they have to be good, but I will rank them based on how much I loved Mark in them because I think he is beautiful AND talented (which is why this badminton world champion is on my list of GMMTV's best actors).

Ranked - Mark Pakin's Series

Honorable Mention - Cooking Crush - Dynamite

I think Aungpao is doing a great job as Dynamite in Cooking Crush, but I can't help but think what it would have been to see Mark in that role as originally intended. It sucks that Mark is overbooked, which I'm assuming was the reason he couldn't commit to Cooking Crush since he was filming Last Twilight, but it's a good problem to have for such a talented man, so I hope he continues to stay booked and blessing me with his face on my screen each and every year.

#8 - High School Frenemy - Chatjen

This show was barely announced, so it's possible it might not even make it to air, but that's not why it's last. The show is a remake of a Korean series, and word on the street is the original was not gay, like at all, which is wild since the entire pilot trailer for the Thai version seemed very homosexual to me! There was a rooftop and everything! But it also looks like our boy is about to be bullied, and I'm not here for it. Therefore, LAST!

#7 - Bad Buddy - Chang

Mark played in Bad Buddy? Notice that is a question and not a statement because, although I don't remember a lot of Bad Buddy because we have beef, I truly only remember Drake and Jimmy as friends since I wanted them to be a couple (Korn x Wai ghost ship!). I wasn't aware of either Marc or Mark playing Pat and Pran's friends. Mark was there when Pat got shot. Mark was there when they told Pran that Pat got shot. He is in the photo outside of the hospital room because Pat got shot, and I still am like, "Was Mark really in the show?"! I even had to look up what his character's name was on MDL. I still don't believe he was in it. I don't care what Our Skyy said. This is the Mandela Effect.

#6 - I Promised You the Moon - Mek

I do remember Mark in I Promised You the Moon, so this ranking is purely because I'm petty and got beef with this series, specifically Teh, which means Mark has to suffer too. Mark played Mek who was Teh's roommate. After Teh FUCKED UP, Mek was nice to him when he really didn't have to be because Teh was being an ASSHOLE to him, but that's why I loved Mek. He could've thrown hands with Teh in that room, but instead gave Teh some tough love by telling him his crying was annoying, and he needed to get it together. Then, he invited Teh to go eat with him. He still could've smacked Teh though and cemented this as Mark's number one role.

#5 - Last Twilight - Night

The only reason this is ranked this low is because I haven't had enough of him in the show. He is not the lead. He is a supporting character (AS USUAL, GMMTV!), so I can't expect him on my screen every single second, but I need far more of him in the last quarter of this series. Also, the show is setting up Night to be the cause of Day's accident, but it's too late for me to feel bad about any of this. I needed to know that information by episode three. Now we are over halfway done, Mork and Day are fulfilling the gay agenda, Phojai is about to get a rich husband, and Night is going to inherit a beautiful family, so let bygones be bygones, and GIVE MARK A LEADING ROLE ALREADY!

#4 - Only Friends - Nick

If I was really petty, this wouldn't have even been on the list because Nick should have been so much worse. He recorded Boston and Top having sex. He told Mew about Boston's non-consensual sex tape. He lied to Boston. And yet . . . I wanted him to do more! Nick could have blackmailed Top. Nick could've ruined Mew's life. Nick could've hurt Ray via Sand! Nick could've been a baddie, but instead he was a saddie. Mark finally got to kiss a homie, but at what cost? I feel Mark could've done so much more in this role. Honestly, all the actors could have, but they were held back, so here Nick sits in the middle. Not good. Not bad. Just average.

#3 - My School President - Thiu

This 'fit alone deserves our recognition because Mark was playing a high schooler yet looking too fine in this top. He needed to put that hotness away around those children. But in regards to his character, as you mentioned in the ask, he was EVERYTHING! He was trying to keep the student council solid since Tinn was too busy crushing on Gun. He was playing matchmaker. He was dating Por all season, and this is not up for debate. He was a director for the band's music video and was basically their manager. Homie was doing it all and still had time to look fine. What a guy!

#2 - Moonlight Chicken - Saleng

I wrote an ode to Saleng being my Thai primo. He lived for the chisme and was the biggest shit starter in the family, yet Li Meng called him first after the accident, and he was right there when their community mother passed away. Aof, who is behind Moonlight Chicken and Last Twilight, really let all the characters shine in this series, but Mark did amazing with the little amount of screen time he had, which gives me hope that his Last Twilight character will rise in the rankings as that series comes to a close. This role was so good that I was torn between this and the one I ultimately selected as number one, but honestly, both roles could be number one depending on my mood. Do I want family-oriented fun times Saleng or do I want . . .

#1 - The Warp Effect - Jedi

The entire cast of The Warp Effect was elite status. Every character was great. Every storyline was good. Every discussion about sex was outstanding. But Mark as Jedi lives rent free in my head, specifically the scene where after working out, he fucks his girlfriend from behind over the kitchen counter! Then, he experiences pain because he has a STI! This leads to an entire education about open relationships, sexual health, communication, and trans healthcare since his girlfriend is trans. Jojo was the screenwriter and director for both Only Friends and The Warp Effect, so I like that both of Mark's sexier roles are due to Jojo's vision, and I hope Mark gets to work again with either Aof or Jojo because Mark is at his best when he is allowed to play an adult man who knows what he wants and how to get it.

And believe me, he could get it.

[shotbycup1d]

Guide to Camp Jupiter-General Systems of The Cohorts

(Tip: Controversial take, but make friends with those rich kids from those big legacy families. I know I know, seems a little materialistic, right? But free dinners, free stuff, random hand-me-downs which are in GREAT condition, respect from others, priority in shops at New Rome. Look at these advantages and tell me you don’t want a sugar daddy/mommy as your bestie???)

-As I mentioned in my post about Cohort Barracks there are are barrack inspections once every two weeks by your Centurions, take these seriously if not you can expect your whole cohort to hate you after the Centurions make all of you do punishments (trash duty for a week, emptying out the pools at baths) because the barracks aren’t up to standard

-We have monthly allowances, every month each cohort gets a sum of money that is evenly distributed to all the legionnaires, (Centurions get a little more of course, they deserve it for being responsible for 40 hormonal, adhd, dyscalculic teenagers 24/7) The rich kids get to have allowances from their family too though, so the camp allowances are more to help out us broke people. (The rich truly get richer)

-Every month, 12 legionnaires from each cohort gets put on sentry duty. The 12 are split into Sentry group A and B, so 30 legionnaires in each all together. They alternate nights to patrol, so on Monday it’s Sentry group A’s turn, Tuesday it’s B’s and so on. Out of the 30 there are 5 legionnaires which are seniors (over 5 years of service) which are responsible for the group.

-There are different roles in each Cohort, try to keep up.

The Primus Pilus

-Is the most senior Centurion of the First Cohort and the whole legion. -Currently this is Octavian, who is also the Augur Haruspex of the legion.

The Primus Prior

-Fancy way of saying ‘Senior Centurion of a Cohort’ this is the most veteran legionnaires of each Cohort and in battle, they had command of their whole Cohort (under the overarching authority of the Primus Pilus and the Praetors)

-The Primus Pilus is also a Primus Prior as they are the ‘Senior of the seniors’

The Optio

-Each Centurion can pick 1 legionnaire to be their ‘prodigy’ for a lack of a better term.

-They are the ones who will rise to the rank of Centurion should their Centurion be killed, renounce their position or step down.

The Immunes

-These are the specialists of the Legion, to qualify, you must be real fricking good at something. The list includes:

-Engineers (Responsible for designing and testing equipment for the legion)

-Medical Staff (Usually full of children/legacies or Apollo/Asclepius/Salus)

-Carpenter and Blacksmiths (Children/legacies of Vulcan)

OTHER WORKS:

[partywithoutsmiling]

what are your thoughts on branch brothers?

Oof, that's will be a complicated answer XD;

Trouble with the Canon is that is missing lots of scenes that would give us necessary info on all the Brothers' background after they went their separate ways- and from the surface level clues, it doesn't look squeaky clean for them XD

Based purely on movie... (and mind you I am going with the unconfirmed Canon that the Tree got caged and Trollstice started happening after Brozone broke up)

Branch seemed to be roughly 3yo, and the Trolls left the tree when he was around 6 or 7

John Dory:

JD returned to the tree when everyone was away and any tracks were too old to follow - that still puts him at being away for at least 5 years, but there are some things to consider: he does seemed to be a step-in guardian for his Brothers, putting a lot of pressure on him, and he didn't know all the others left too- buuut it was his deviation from the choreography and putting unnecessary expectation on his family to cause that Argument in the first place. It was also implied he might have been the only one of age, so at least 18/19

'Bad Brother Ranking' 5/10?

Reason: Yes, JD's behaviour seemed to be cause for most of the discord between his brothers, as was his obsession into placing them in carefully shaped boxes, and him leaving was seen as rather dick move- however, if he started as a minor forced into parent role to his siblings- something he was not obligated to through- and if he was already an adult, him wanting to escape stressful situation is understandable, especially if he worked with the idea that all his other brothers would say (especially if they were all minors). It also speaks to his merit he did eventually come back, and that without him promising to do so. Considering his muted colours, he must have lived the next 15 years thinking all his family is dead, and all that was left were their old Brozone mementos; when Bruce's postcard came, he felt relieved to know at least one brother was alive- but probably made no effort to seek him out because he believed the others are still dead and didnt want to see the blame in Bruce's eyes

Overall, I do like John Dory: he is supremelly flawed yet well-meaning character; full of himself, yet socially awkward and genuinelly happy to see his brothers alive (all those Brozone posters were probably the only family photos he had of them)- probably doesnt cope with his past trauma very well lol. That said I am docking points for his absolute disregard of the fact that Baby Branch was, well, a baby, and he spared no consideration to him while having heated argument with Clay and Spruce

So, Movie!John final 'bad brother score' 6/10

I do headcanon he dealt with being grey for a while because suppressing it all, but recognized it Branch and doesnt know how to breach the topic. He is bad at expressing himself and living in the wilderness in complete isolation only made it worse; being the Big Brother and the Leader/Manager, he definitelly wanted to be seen as the pillar his family could count on and so he has hard time to open about his feelings, let alone admit to needing help in anything

Spruce/Bruce:

Left definitelly in the midst of his teen rebel phase. Most likely felt very objectified, and not seen for himself- something that had him decide to not only move out of the Tree but to leave his tribe behind completely

Parted with JD on bad terms, but definitelly parted with Clay on good terms; in the timing of them leaving the pod together, Spruce/Bruce seemed to be the only one out of the two who was really serious about actually leaving, and made no promises to return. If he was just shy of being of age, he might felt no need to- and if Bergens were no threat yet, he would feel no guilt- after all, his family was not in danger

Considering his age and the situation, I don't blame him for leaving; but his lack of effort to properly connect in the future and probably basing his only interaction on half assed postcard seems like a really dick move

He might have been of the opinion JD only went to sulk and then returned to take care of things as usual, but there was no indication he even tried to reach out to the rest of his brothers- maybe kept contact with Clay but that's it

That more than anything shows lack of familial care/worry he might have felt for his youngest brothers, being quite content to ignore them for years

Movie!Bruce 'Bad Brother Ranking': 8/10

Reason: he allowed his petty and bitter arguing with JD to get in the way of even trying to reconnect to his youngest brothers- and considering Branch's age, he probably at the time felt no desire to (after all, what teen wants to take care of a toddler). That said, his new family does feel like bit of a replacement, and when both JD and Branch appeared, he was ready to drop kick them out at the mere mention of the Family Harmony, no willingness to listen at all. JD at least wanted to move past whatever conflict they had in the past while Bruce was keen on keeping the grudge- it was understandable, if family harmony was what caused all his troubles, but he made his judgement and they had to force him to listen- I don't know, his behaviour in the movie kinda rubbed me wrong way, as it was clear he would have been happy to live his life cut off from his siblings forever

He has potential to get better, but I don't know- all the fanfic writers are doing god's work really, in fleshing out their characters, to make them less of an asshole XD;

Overall, I dont really like Movie!Bruce- especially as he made extreme effort to not be connected to Brozone/his family at all costs.

Clay:

Also left as a teen, most likely cca 15yo, but didn't dare leaving the Tree- his leaving was definitelly more of a sulk, as it was implied he was in the Tree when the great escape was happening

Yes, the Troll Tree was huge- the population more akin to a metropolis than just a large town- but that means he never even bothered once to come and check on his youngest brothers- as he knew John and Spruce left- and thus probably wasnt even close enough to find out that not only Grandma got eaten, but that Branch went grey- or even that Floyd left

Both JD and Bruce had an excuse in being out of the loop for the horrific events that started happening when Bergen's came, but Clay was in the tree

He knew Trollstice was a thing, and not once he came around to see how his immediate family was doing

Clay shows a level of selfishness neither of his older brothers did honestly- yes, JD left but then came back, and Bruce left but though his family was safe; while Clay stayed, knew his family wasnt safe, yet did not care to make sure they are safe

Naturally, what can a teenager do? Nothing against the Bergens, trully, but him just staying near would be enough

Movie!Clay gets 9/10 on the 'bad brother scale' from me, and honestly I am glad he is not my brother XD;

Floyd:

Floyd is bit of an enigma honestly- him leaving home seemed more like running away from home, as he was what, 14? Trying to go on Solo career?

He was the most attentive and kind to Branch, but that however ended up doing more harm than good, what with his promise and effort in making Branch busy

He probably gone back to three however- but it must have been around the same time JD did, as his ears seems to have the same defect Branch's does, which means Floyd definitelly went through period of grayness- but that means it took at least 5 years for him to return

It seemed he had plans to leave even before Brozone broke up- something churned within him for a long time

He would have been 18/19 around that time- a convenient age though, as that would make him old enough to be a legal guardian perhaps?

I dont know, there are lots of unknowns, but overall his Bad Brother Scale is really low, like 3/10, 4/10

I like Floyd, he really gave the air that he cared deeply, but especially for Branch as he was aware Branch needed the most support in his early stages of life

He was also the only one to promise to come back, and also the only one to pause at the treshold and look at his Brother as if to memorize his looks

In General:

Out of the movie!Brothers, I like JD and Floyd the best, when it comes to their family loyalty and relationship, though JD kinda killed it a little with him wanting to split once more after the are done rescuing Floyd

Both Bruce and Clay just really seemed to live in their own world: yes, Bruce was convinced his family was safe but that doesnt excuse him from reaching out; Clay was well aware about the Bergen threat and was co-leading a whole Clan, but he wasn't doing that before the Great Escape

Either way, both Movie!Bruce and Movie!Clay are selfish in a way that I am not vibing with.

Of course, this can be improved with some headcanons:

JD was well aware of his role in his family 'Tragedy' and never gave up on trying to find them, even if all of his hopes rang false. He kept photos of all his brothers, wallet size, close to his heart- but especially the on of Branch, as a reminder of his failings

His cold acting at the night of the Show was not Big Brother John, but Manager John, as he needed to separate the two- something he, as an adult, understood, but his younger brothers did not

Bruce suffered from terrible self-esteem issues, most likely unable to see himself when he looked in the mirror, only seeing 'The Heartthrob' - someone wearing his face and mame, but not him. This is the real reason he changed his name

Definitelly had some food disorder and it took him time and help and love from Brandy for him to heal from it and to feel right within his skin

The Postcard he sent John used to have writing, but it got lost in transit for years- it was accompanied with a wedding invitation that never got delivered, and since Bruce thought John was back at the Tree with his brothers, he just assumed John was ignoring him on purpose

He sent his other brother's invitation as well, but as he never received reply, assumed John intercepted them

It was for his own mental health that he tried to find happiness and purpose in his current family then being hang up on what was

Clay tried to be present in Branch's life but had disputes with their Grandmother, who wanted him to move back into the pod with them while Clay refused

He was forbidden from interacting with Branch as Rosiepuff felt it would be too disrupting for the toddler, if Clay kept coming and going

Clay eventually- much to Rosiepuff's dismay- joined a party of scouting trolls that ventured beyond the cage to scavenge in Bergens' homes- an extremelly dangerous job, that convinced Clay it was better Branch didn't know he was around, as he wouldnt risk the grief of one day learning his brother was killed on one such venture

When the Great Escape happened, it was moved ahead of schedule than planned- after learning about the Bergens' intent to eat Baby Poppy, Clay and his scouting team were tasked in bringing the rear to leave no stragglers behind, eventually ending up being sepparated

Brozone often went through breakups and reconciliations, and it happened even when Branch wasnt even hatched- Floyd remembered each and every one of them, and how impactful it was on a small child

Seeing the same happening to Branch, he started making plans for how to have both of them split and escape that toxicity, but knew he couldnt contest any custody over him while still minor himself

Grandma Rosiepuff was a shit guardian, forcing JD to be the primary caretaker- it was only after they all left that she had to step up and take care of Branch properly

It's honestly only with these headcanons that I am able to like all the brothers equally XD

[rbbalmung]

Pre-Timeskip Straw Hats Ranking:

1. Chopper - My baby. He’s like a little Ghibli character! I loved his design and he has such a good heart 🥹

2. Zoro - He’s so cool! I love how loyal he is and he always has the best fight scenes.

3. Luffy - Didn’t expect to like him this much, but here we are! God, he’s just such an interesting character. I really like characters with a strong moral compass/sense of their own justice, and Luffy fits that so well. Out of all the captains, I’d want him to be mine.

4. Sanji - He’s a little cringe (I am a woman), but he’s got really good scenes mixed in there! (Like that scene with Enel? Legendary).

5. Franky - TBH, he didn’t grow on me until Enies Lobby. But Franky is a homie! He’s SUPER!

6. Robin - Another character that took a bit to grow on me. I love how she just takes things in stride, it’s really funny. Her and Franky are my fave duo, so I love when they get scenes together!

7. Brook - I LOVE SKELETONS! I love his puns and his backstory made me cry. Minus points for the underwear thing, though

8. Nami - I like Nami! I wish she got a bit more control of the situations she gets thrown into (especially Thriller Bark, I felt so bad for her).

9. Usopp - I don’t hate Usopp, don’t get me wrong! He’s just kind of annoying. He’s the sniper of the crew, so it’s irritating that he rarely does any sniping. He also complains/is cowardly A LOT. I get that’s his character, but…

Time skip Ranking (I’m in Zou right now. Light spoilers for up until then?):

1. Luffy - My Number 3 pick overall! I love him so much, I can’t even. He’s really stepped it up! Something I really like about him is the slight changes in his personality after MarineFord. You can tell it effected him more than he lets on and I love that Oda is subtle about it. 10/10 protagonist!

2. Franky - SUPER!!! I just love him, he’s so fun! I may be a bit influenced because he’s my brother’s fave (we’re watching it together). Like Luffy, I love how positive and kind Franky is. I also love his power ups!! He’s so cool!!

3. Zoro - Still cool, haha. My opinion of him hasn’t changed much since before timeskip - he’s a really consistent, interesting character! I also love how he’s eager to fight, in a weird way. Nothing scares this man, it’s cool to see!

4. Usopp - Biggest jump on this list! But damn, I love Usopp now. He’s mellowed out a bit and takes a bit more of an active role on the crew! (Spoiler) He has Haki!!! I didn’t see that coming, but it’s by far the coolest Usopp moment yet!

5. Robin - As the sole introvert on a crew of extroverts, I love the dynamic she brings! Like I mentioned before, her “go with the flow” attitude is really unique and fun to see! I do wish they’d let her fight more, even though she has more of a supporting role.

6. Nami - Ever since Punk Hazard, I’ve come to realize the Nami is the heart of the crew. You can see how much she cares for everyone and wants the best for the people around her!

(I may start to sound mean from here on out, but I promise I like all the Straw Hats)

7. Sanji - SANJI STOP BEING CRINGE I SWEAR TO GOD. I know the Whole Cake is coming up soon, so I’m holding out for some major character development there. I just don’t like that women have taken over most of his screen time and that he holds resentment against Okamas. Like, not cool bro.

8. Chopper - He’s kind of been reduced to a mascot character. They never give him anything to do anymore (granted, he wasn’t in Dressrosa much so maybe I’ll be proved wrong). I don’t hate his new design, I just liked the other one better. And apparently he’s supposed to be 17??

9. Brook - Brook, for me, has filled the role Usopp had before timeskip. He’s always loud and being cowardly, it gets to be a little grating. He still has good moments, don’t get me wrong, but I wish he was a bit more like he was in Thriller Bark.

Bonus! Jinbe - Dad energy 👍 He was a real homie for Luffy on MarineFord, and I’m excited to see the dynamic he brings when he joins the crew!

[canonically47]

post-DCAS character ranking

18. yul. the worst dsvc character to ever grace our screens. i should not have to explain myself for this, i feel like it goes without saying he's the worst of every cast ever

17. riya. a one-dimensional character who refuses to change. the only reason she's ranked higher than yul is because she's not racist which (virgil sanders voice) that CANNOT be where the bar is.

16. ashley. her entire development was becoming jake's friends and helping in a very small way to get tomjake together. she did nothing for herself, her entire character was just jake's bff and that goes to show how little ONC cares for their female characters

15. ally. the worst development of the season, with the most boring ending, with the least pay-off. how she made finale is beyond me

14. hunter. somehow higher than ally because he was funny

13. tess. higher than both of them but she just existed to me

12. tom. he existed and i still dislike him despite the finale desperately trying to make me not to.

11. connor. a whiny manbaby who achieved nothing this season, whose only role was being there for riya’s drama. genuinely, why did they bring him back if this was all they were going to do with him? only ranked this high because the others behind him are somehow worse or even more boring.

10. lake. similarly to tess, she also just existed. they brought her back just to nerf her like idiots. because guess what if the drama doesn't revolve around a mlm couple then it's not interesting to ONC!

9. miriam. poor queen how you have fallen. decent but deserved more

8. james. consistently funny and good, just wish he had more screentime. others rank higher than him because they actually got some type of development.

7. ellie. pains me to put her this low, she's one of my favorites ever, but i gotta do what i gotta do. she should've gotten better and more believable development. i dearly miss her season one self

6. aiden. he and jake were gay and i don't remember anything else that he did. only ranked this high because he made it far again, played fair, was super entertaining, and his VA is my all-time fav. sue me, i got biases.

5. fiore. she managed to not be ruined my baby <3 she escaped the bad writing so proud of her

4. gabby. it's okay gabby we all know in the better timeline you won the money and helped ellie pursue her dreams. you did your best. yes gabby we are all ignoring how weird the whole evil shadow realm you thing is. we love you too much to blame you for it. that's all ONC. you're innocent. we love you gabby we all say in unison

3. grett. i am sooo happy she got her development this season but by GOD did she need to get her justice earlier. she should've killed yul tbh

2. alec. he was at his worst mid-season, but fuck it, i'm biased and he actually bounced back. he was not likable from beginning to end, but he was a strong player with a consistent and (somewhat) believable character arc. in a better timeline, we got an alec - rosa-maria - grett finale and alec won.

jake. this will come as a shock to anyone who's followed me for a longer time/has seen my early reviews, and even to myself. i never expected myself to like jake as much as i did, but credit is due where credit is due: ONC did something with him this season. he got his development. he became a better person, outgrew his mistakes, befriended those that did him/he did wrong, forgave them and/or made it up to them, and he even got the guy in the end. never thought i'd say this, but jake is probably the best written character in this show, and will be one of the only characters or overall things i will miss about disventure camp seasons 1 & 3.

thank GOD it's over

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

My weekly roundup CW 20

I try to write down my thoughts after watching stuff to create a little weekly ranking in relation to the previous week on my, most of the times, quiet sundays (and because I love lists!). These are just my personal opinions and preferences.

And yes, this will contain spoilers!

The Promise is on hiatus this week. I guess it is because they wanted to end the series on WeTV and their Youtube channel on the same day.

→ 1. Love Mate (Ep 5+6)

Most adorable scene this week:

Ahhh, yes, I am obsessed with the series. I love them and don't want to miss them! Sunshine guy and Grumpy Guy are so precious. And grumpy guy is slowly becoming sunshine guy No 2. I love how happy he looks when he is with sunshine guy. I still didn't quite get the pool date and we were robbed of an underwater kiss! It was the perfect opportunity!!!! And they don't need to fool us. They are not date mates. They are a couple. I think it's cute how sunshine guy plays along, even though he actually knows full well that grumpy guy and him are a couple, but so as not to scare him away, he just plays along. The second thing I didn't understand, why don't they sleep together in the same bed? The solution to the problem was of course very adorable and I almost exploded because of the concentrated cuteness of the scene. I would have liked it even more if grumpy guy had climbed down to sunshine guy of his own accord and hugged him from behind. But I don't want to complain. The scene is burned into my memory forever now. And yes, the end of episode 6 fucked me up. Sunshine Guy! Go to him. Take him in your arms! Don't run away! But maybe he just knows grumpy guy well enough to know that he might have closed himself off in that moment. That fucked up ex-boyfriend. It was obvious that he would still play a role. You better not fuck this up in the finale!

↑ 2. La Pluie (Ep 4)

Most surprising kiss this week:

I'm squealing! I was really afraid that there would be a huge problem when Patts found out that Saengtai knew they were soulmates. But with that I am not mad. The kiss on the other hand…Yes, Saengtai initiated it, but Patts was willing to go quite a few steps further. Boy, Saengtai was drunk off his ass! No thought of getting into his pants there. But well, who hasn't made out with someone while drunk? I'll let it slide. Oh man, my critical eyes are really going blind when I like a scene. Not saying it was a good choice of writing the first kiss! Second point…Patts. Talk to your ex, please. Silence has never helped anyone. Especially not in front of love contaminated people. So tell her, hey, I found my soulmate and now I will start a new happy life with him. Other than that, Saengtai and Patts are both like sugar to me. I find their interactions so cute and want to permanently pinch their cheeks. The series definitely manages to pick up from week to week. I'm a little scared when it comes to the drama. I'm not going to like it, but honestly, we're on episode 4 of 12. There's a whole bunch more drama to come…And I'm not ready for it!

→ 3. Happy Merry Ending (Ep 7+8 Final)

The most smitten guy of the week:

Episode 7 I will simply banish from my memory again. But that was exactly what I feared last week. Namely that JaeHyun reminds SeungJun way too much of his ex with his manner. He couldn't offer him any protection at that moment. And I understand SeungJun so much that he sends JaeHyun away, that he wants to be alone, that he wants to protect himself. It's all been so new for him, he was too overwhelmed with the new relationship, because he himself wasn't ready yet from the head. Yes, JaeHyun gave him peace when they were together, but when he was alone, he was vulnerable again. He himself needs to learn to stop being vulnerable and attackable to his ex in order to be a good partner in the future and address and overcome his trauma because: Love cannot heal everything. But even though JeungJun sent JaeHyun away, it was his love that made JeungJun finally take control of his life. He had to make that decision himself to become stronger. And when he is ready, he just hopes that JaeHyun will forgive him…If we were to dive into reality at this point, we would realize that this is wishful thinking. How often does it happen that one person waits so long for another and that other person actually gives a sign at some point, like "Hey, I still like you"? The story would have actually ended at the point when JeungJun asks JaeHyun to leave and compares him to his disgusting ex. That would have been my breaking point, anyway. But, we are not in reality, but in the beautiful world of BL. And here, with the last episode, we get our happy ending, as we hoped for. And may I say at this point that I now wish we had heard more songs from JaeHyun? What a beautiful voice! Makes him even more handsome. I liked the story. I liked that JeungJun managed to turn his life around on his own. I liked the look on JaeHyun's face when he looks at JeungJun. I liked their absolutely cozy looking togetherness. I liked their romance.

↑ 4. Our Skyy 2 (Ep 9+10)

Okay, I was so afraid Our Skyy would ruin my favorites, but shit, was it fun! Would I have liked to see Tinn and Gun navigate their lives with each other after school with new challenges? Absolutely. Do I think the role reversal idea is bad? Not really. It's very amusing to see Gemini and Fourth play each other's roles and give them their own character traits. And they came up with some really good jokes. I was on the floor laughing. The dance scene was so over the top. The whole scene after the exam when they were in each other's arms…I couldn't take it anymore! And to add TiwsonPor as an already existing couple - chef's kiss. They know exactly what they are doing. This is fanservice at its finest. I love it when a show is aware of its fans and what they want, and when they don't just throw it out there, but incorporate in well into the plot. This is so fanfiction!!! It's like the writers and everyone involved really paid attention and saw where the mistakes or inconsistencies were with the original series and now they're making fun of them in an excellent way. Best scene: the guys are all in a room together and Gun and Tinn are flirting with each other and the guys are nagging them not to be so loud. That's realistic for a change. All in all, I liked the episodes of Our Skyy so much more than the previous ones.

↓ 5. My Story (Ep 6)

I don't care about this week! Please don't let Zeke be late for that stupid school event next week and what's with Drake and him? The drama belongs with Sky and Win. Not in our little sanctuary Zeke x Fifth heaven. I resent that! This week was soooo cute again! Fifth is just still very unsure if he can be enough and satisfy Zeke, and Zeke may give him something to doubt there when he agrees to Kim's event even though he promised to be at the school event. And I can already somewhat imagine next week that drama can arise through that. Although I can also understand Zeke wanting to fuel his career as a photographer a bit with the assignment from Kim. These two are going to break my heart before they painstakingly patch it back together. And just between us, I probably wouldn't mind to see their reconciliation in the end.

↓ 6. Our Dining Table (Ep 7)

A kiss? Really now? Not that I think there was really a kiss with the camera shot like that, but still! Brave Minoru! Aside from the kiss, it was another nice, stable episode. Yutaka is opening up to Minoru and Tane is such an empathetic boy, it's heartbreaking. And the dad is my absolute favorite! I think among all of us, he's the biggest shipper of the two!

↑ 7. Step by Step (Ep 5)

Jeng and Pat are so side tracked in my mind right now. Yes, there is progress, they slept in a bed together and you can tell they both already know they like the other. And at the end there was this totally romantic scene with fireworks in the background that screamed for a kiss and then the cut came…okay…but, what really stuck in my mind? My ambivalent feelings about Jaab and Jane. But I did some soul-searching. One of my favorite series is Love Mechanics…so who am I to judge? Yes, Jane fucked up, but shit happens in this world. That doesn't excuse anything, but I'm selfish and I want these two to get together. They both like each other. And of course Jaab doesn't hide it, but he never makes the first move. So it's absolutely clear that Jane is equally attracted to Jaab. So much that he crosses lines he shouldn't. The affair, or even a fling, has a certain tingle, the whiff of something forbidden. It's morally reprehensible and yet the subject matter is always found in the media and people are drawn to it. Why? Because it shows emotions very raw and pure. Because desire for a person is depicted, which otherwise can hardly be transported through the medium. Because it means that the desire for this person, be it purely sexual or even romantic, is so great that one accepts the moral contempt. Because in some moments you have no control over your thoughts and your body. Because it is a temptation that people would like to give in to, at least in their thoughts. It means giving up control to your heart and even if you have never had the thought of cheating, you can still understand what can happen in your body and head. So yeah, I'm not mad about it at the end of this week. I'm excited to see what happens next and I'm eager to see when they get to their happy ending and what other obstacles are put in their way.

↑ 8. A Boss and a Babe (Ep 12 Final)

Most ridiculous dialogue of the week:

The finale surprised once again. How pissed I was at first when it turned out to be just a dream…I hate that. That is one of the shittiest placeholder…fucking dream sequences. And then also at the end of the last episode, so it can't be resolved until the next episode either. That hit home. After that, it was a sugar fest. So much sweetness and romance. Was a little too much for my stunted heart. But it was the conclusion I think we all thought and hoped for. The friends group is and remains my favorite of the series and especially the fact that they have accepted Gun into their group like that and he visibly feels at home there. The roof terrace at the end was a bit much for me. If my partner did that, I'd probably be throwing up rainbows and cotton candy. But anyway. I'm excited to see what happens next week with Our Skyy 2…The preview looked…exhausting, to put it nicely.

↓ 9. Naked Dining (Ep 6)

Oh, Futa… What are you doing? You're dreaming about Mahiro kissing you. Do you want me to interpret it for you? Your subconscious has already figured out that you like him. Your subconscious is trying to tell you what you want, you just have to listen and let it happen. Instead, you're talking about getting married and starting a family. And the look on Mahori's face spoke volumes. He's so hurt and disappointed. He really thought you guys were making progress after Futa's talk of fate, that you found each other again. Oh man. This is so frustrating. All the better that Mahiro told him the truth in the end and leaves Futa alone with his thoughts now. I'm excited to see what happens next.

→ 10. House of Stars (Ep 3)

I found the episode so boring and uninteresting and I don't understand the dynamic going on. I don't get what the relationship is supposed to be between Gun and Pitch. Pitch is obsessed with Gun and Gun doesn't like him, but tolerates him and sometimes looks at him like he's in love with him and is nice to him. And on the other hand, we have So, who is clearly into Pitch and Pitch kind of likes him, but by the portrayal of his character, I really can't see any feelings from Pitch. And yeah, the choice of how he conveys the character is really not working for me. I don't like it. And Pitch is such an unlikable character. He knows he's going to screw up, again and again and again and doesn't learn from it and again and again others have to bail him out while is standing there grinning...Yes, I'm dropping it at this point.

[chialeah]

TCR EPISODE 9

Fuck- this episode was so tense and heartbreaking but so so good! Definitely the toughest episode to watch so far. Masterclass in acting from all the cast involved! Major spoilers below!

1. With minimal dialogue from Danny this episode Tom brilliantly spoke through his eyes/body language to convey Danny’s inner thoughts/emotions. I truly was heartbroken watching Danny watch Candy betray him and stay loyal to Marlin. Also his face during the final scene! I truly couldn’t handle it.

2. The actress playing the DA is eating fr. I will definitely have to check out more of her work! Christopher Abbott has also been giving a wonderful performance these past few episodes. I’m such a big fan of his work and TCR has been a great addition. They truly are the backbone of the trial and have been doing a great job raising bigger issues/questions about Danny’s overall place.

3. Annabelle, Angelo, and Jerome taking the witness stand was a great addition. You could tell that they all were sort of empathetic to the internal struggles Danny has been dealing with(whether or not he deserved it in those specific situations). Jerome-I love you fr! I’ve loved his performances from these past two episodes and am grateful that he has been able to show a more gentle/vulnerable side to Danny and his alters.

4. Candy! I appreciate that the episode established that she was at the receiving end of abuse too. “Guilt or Grief, which one can you bear” is such a banger line and it was interesting to see how Candy reacted to it. I HATE that she did that to her own son but I get why she was so afraid. She wasn’t ready to lose everything so she decided push her own son further away by lying. Truly a shame fr! I hate Marlin so so so much! Appreciate the actor giving this role his all because he’s truly made Marlin such a despicable character lol. The look of heartbreak between Candy and Danny after she took the stand will haunt me.

5. The final scene! I had such a visceral reaction to this scene it was crazy! I knew that the binder clip was going to come back in a dangerous way. The look of solemn terror but also relief after Danny harms himself was so heartbreaking I legit started to sob. I do appreciate the show not showing the action of abuse or self harm but rather the characters reactions to it. I think this is a really smart way to emphasize the emotional/psychological toll it takes. I have a lot of questions about the outcome of Danny’s action in this scene but i guess we’ll find out more next week!

6. Spoilers!- From the set pictures and locations used during the filming of episode 10 it seems that whatever the outcome of the trial is Danny hopefully (eventually) gets sent to a mental facility upstate! Looks like some time has passed and Rya goes to visit Danny. He even has his scars from where he harmed himself! I’ll put some of the set pics below! This is truly saving me from having a full freak out about this episode lol.

Hopeful that we get to have some closure for Ari, Jonny, and the other alters in some capacity in the next episode. Hopefully Candy steps up in some way in the next episode as well. I also am looking forward for Danny’s defense (including Rya) to get a fucking win in the incoming parts of the trial. This show has truly done a great job giving example to the nuanced history mental illness has had within the social/judicial/political systems at play here in the U.S. Can’t believe we’re at the finale already! Looking forward to seeing these storylines get wrapped up. Great job all around! Bravo Tom!

My episode ranking so far:

9-8-7-6-3-5-4-2-1

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 16 – DARK FIC

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: Kiyaar

It's incredible just how much suffering Kiyaar can pack into a single fic. Their writing is so raw and visceral that it almost evokes a physical reaction in me, it pulls me in every time. Whenever I need my fix of whump and heartbreak, I head straight to their AO3, because their fics are amazing.

Here's some of their work that I think you should check out:

Take My Body Home

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 11,444 Tags: Rape, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Superior Iron Man

Summary: After the events of Superior Iron Man, Tony sells Extremis to the highest bidder and finds himself living as an expatriate in Russia. Steve's never been good at letting go.

Reasons why I love it: Oh my fucking god, that ending?? My heart is crushed, holy shit. So many lines get crossed, there's so much agony, not just physical but emotional, and it kept my eyes glued to my screen the entire time. This fic HURTS, and if you can handle it, I highly recommend it!

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 2,410 Tags: Major Character Death, Survivor's Guilt, Body Horror

Summary: In another world, on another Earth, the Superhuman Civil War has a darker, bloodier end.

Reasons why I love it: I've always been fascinated by the Civil Warrior, and this take on his story just breaks my heart. That scene after he first uses the reality gem - chills. I love those last few paragraphs more than I can say. This fic is amazing, and I hope you check it out for yourself!

Rusted Wheel, or How the Civil War Might Have Ended

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 3,183 Tags: Major Character Death, Canon Divergence, Civil War

Summary: Tony was on the steps of the Courthouse and took the bullets for Steve.

Reasons why I love it: Urgh, I cry. As if the Courthouse Steps weren't already angsty enough, this just wrecked me all over again. I always love role reversal what ifs, and this one is really good. Grab some tissues and give this one a go, it's amazing!

Our Love Is a Ghost That the Others Can't See

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 11,726 Tags: Extremis, Depression, Hallucinations

Summary: Post-Civil War, canon-divergent from Director of SHIELD. In Tony’s dreams, he is back in the street, in a crater, the city on fire around him. Steve kneels over him and beats him to within an inch of his life. It’s his favorite place to be, these days.

Reasons why I love it: Jesus Christ, this fic is P-A-I-N-F-U-L. If you like to suffer, this is definitely the one for you. I loved every second of it - the Tony whump, his hallucinations, that ending - it's all brilliant. If you can handle some graphic violence and heart-shattering angst, then definitely give this one a shot!

Accretion

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 8,840 Tags: Rape, Torture, Captivity

Summary: No one is coming, he thinks. Tony is busy, and even if he wasn't - Steve has been discarded. He never ranked first, did he. He doesn't know what he was to Tony beyond convenient. Tony is out there dealing with this, somewhere, on the edge of his own mountain, using one of his wondrous and terrible inventions, shaving off another piece of his soul. He wonders how many incursions this is. If Tony lies to himself to get through the day. If he loses sleep at night about it. No, he decides.

Reasons why I love it: Pain. I am in pain. This fic perfectly encapsulates all the complexities of Steve and Tony's relationship, all the betrayal and hurt hanging over their heads. Everything about this fic just breaks my heart in the best possible way. Definitely give this one a read, it's amazing!

[enbyleighlines]

FE Twitter has been sharing their Hot Takes regarding all the possible paired endings in Radiant Dawn, so I thought I’d do that, too. I’ll go top to bottom, left to right, and rank each pairing out of 5.

Micaiah/Sothe: 4.5/5

Controversial opinion, but I like this pairing! I know it’s Problematic™️ because of the pseudo-incest, but as far as I’m concerned, this pairing is downright tame according to Fire Emblem standards. Plus I just like their interactions. I like that Sothe is like the only person that Micaiah gets all snarky with. I like that Micaiah gets so irrationally jealous over Sothe interacting with or mentioning anyone who isn’t her. Usually Micaiah is just the picture perfect heroine: virtuous, soft-spoken, self-sacrificial, compassionate. But with Sothe, Micaiah allows herself to be jealous and petty, and I love that.

Ike/Ranulf: 4.5/5

Wonderful pairing! Honestly, I only deducted points because, if you choose to go for the Ike/Ranulf paired ending, it locks the player out of some really cool content in the final chapters. I really wish Ike was allowed to have both paired endings. As much as I love Ike/Soren, I also adore how fun and flirtatious Ike and Ranulf’s interactions can be. Ike is usually such a serious person, but Ranulf helps to bring out Ike’s sense of humor, showing us a side of Ike we don’t see otherwise. The chemistry between the two of them is so good.

Ike/Soren: 5/5

The OTP. Perfection in every way. Some people complain that they’re too co-dependent, but damn, isn’t that the appeal? They’re literally the definition of soulmates. And it’s not one-sided, Ike needs Soren as much as Soren needs Ike. They’re a powerful duo, sharing similar values while also complementing one another. Ike is action-oriented and thinks of the big picture, forever striving towards what he wants to achieve. Soren is detail-oriented, and carefully considers every option. The trust between them is so strong. And even then, their relationship isn’t perfect. The arc they go through together, especially in PoR, is so bittersweet. Grief, past trauma, and new revelations put a strain on their friendship, causing Soren to become distant, and Ike frequently mentions it to anyone who will listen. In fact, if you don’t do all three Ike/Soren support conversations, then that plot thread just seemingly resolves itself off-screen, which I have always found funny. Even the game wants you to pair them together.

Jill/Haar: 0/5

The worst paired ending in Tellius. Haar is like twice her age and also long-time friends with Jill’s dad. Haar probably knew Jill when she was in diapers. Moving on…

Astrid/Makalov: 0.5/5

If their paired ending didn’t explicitly state that Makalov never changed his ways, then this pairing might not be so bad. I can sort of understand the appeal of a couple where one person is hated by everyone and the other is the one person who believes in them, but… as it is, it just serves to paint Astrid as a moron for consistently putting up with Makalov’s crap.

Leanne/Naesala: 4.5/5

Very cute pairing! I love that they were childhood friends, and I love that Naesala has a soft spot for her. I love that Leanne is the only person who can see how much Naesala is suffering. And I love that, for all her sweet and naive nature, Leanne has a weakness for bad boys. It’s not too surprising, once you translate all her dialogue. Leanne can be very sassy! Reyson isn’t the only royal heron with a rebellious streak. Just a great pairing all around.

Mist/Boyd: 5/5

I’ll admit, I am a big fan of this pairing. I just love the three brothers, and their role in the Greil Mercs, and that includes the unique dynamic between Mist and Boyd! It’s established from the first chapter of PoR that Boyd’s love language is dunking on people. He’s the perfect encapsulation of 2000’s teens, just constantly trying to bond with people through sick burns. It’s a good thing that Boyd is surrounded by people who are excellent at throwing shade right back at him. But no one is as good at it as Mist. Mist dunks on Boyd like she’s getting paid to do it. Their constant back-and-forth is so fun. And yet, even with all their bickering, it’s still made clear that Boyd and Mist care a lot about one another. I love them so much.

Elincia/Geoffrey: 3.5/5

I honestly don’t have strong feelings about this pairing, but it is perfectly wholesome and cute. I like that Geoffrey is normally pretty calm and capable, but he becomes a worrywart when it comes to Elincia’s safety. He does have some good malewife potential, ngl. And so yeah, Geoffrey is kinda boring, but he makes Elincia happy, and Elincia deserves to be happy.

Lucia/Bastian: 1.5/5

Now, I do like that their relationship isn’t explicitly romantic. Their paired ending specifically mentions Lucia having a continuous “affair” with Bastian, which suggests a more friends with benefits situation. However, I’m still not a fan, especially with the way their dynamic in-game seems to be Bastian just trying to wear Lucia down like a self-proclaimed nice guy who complains about being friendzoned. I mean, he’s more classy about it, but still. Lucia deserves better.

So yeah! That’s my final ranking on every paired ending in Radiant Dawn. To end this post, I’m just gonna list some ships that I think should have gotten a paired ending:

Tibarn/Reyson

Nailah/Rafiel

Oscar/Kieran

Sigrun/Tanith

Micaiah/Pelleas

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk!

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @scribble-dee-vee! Sorry it took me a sec

5 Lines Tag

My lines: a line describing liquid, a line with regret, a line with darkness, a line about food, a line with a lie

Your lines: a line describing liquid, a line with anger, a line about light, a line about a drink, a line with a half-truth

.

A line describing liquid (Tw: the liquid is blood)

However, without words, Sepo not only lacked the meticulous control of other sirens, but he lacked protection from the raw divine energy currently coursing through his throat. That storm would sure serve as a distraction, however it would put them in just as much danger as the smugglers. And Sepo...

There had been dangerous times before---deep within the twisting corridors of the Trench---when he'd been forced to call on his double-edged power. Izjik still remembered the blood; sickening clouds blossoming from his mouth. Dragging his limp form through the grasping tube worms that lined the cramped tunnels, never sure if something was tracking their scent. Lightless days upon starless nights where he lay still and pale as a corpse.

She had to hurry.

A line with regret

"We definitely will," the halawemavar said with a matching grin. "But I am sorry for real. Yeah, you could've talked to me, but it takes two to have an actual conversation and I wasn't being exactly conversational. I should've trusted you to act with a cool head and came clean. I should've trusted you to help me through all this... whatever this is."

Sepo looked to his friend. Her expression was a touch distant, as it had been since he'd woken up. Izjik might be good at reading people, but she'd always been far too honest to wear her heart anywhere other than her sleeve.

<You don't have to do this alone,> he signed. <You never did. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way.>

A line with darkness

Her tongue was numb. There could've been a lot of things Izjik noticed upon waking up, but damn it, her tongue was numb, and her face throbbed, and her arms wouldn't move. She felt like one big, shitty lump of pins and needles.

Now, where in the double-fuck am I?

With a groan, she forced her eyes open. It was dark---the hope-eating kind of dark found at the bottom of the sea. Izjik closed her eyes again. Not like it made much of a difference.

A line about food

From the eye of the cyclone, Twenari waved cheerfully. She was conducting a veritable symphony of pots and pans all ferried about by discs of translucent orange energy. Simmering sauces formed unruly ranks, while the rice was busy boiling over in a milky foam. Sepo started to take his boots off and was nearly struck with another spoon making its way towards something that smelled of vinegar.

In a heartbeat, all was still. Everything hung as if suspended in resin. Then, Twenari gave a little clap, and like a cloud of trained birds, three plates were dished up and flew themselves to the spotlessly set table.

A line with a lie (2, if you can spot them >:))

"Look," Tyche continued, joining him on their host's sumptuous couch---which they'd extorted from the man several days ago. "You're gonna do fine. Just play along and, hey, maybe you'll be able to take an early exit?"

"Huh?"

"Head home early, you know?" Hit the bar before the rush, get us some good seats."

"I don't get it. Weren't you just saying the other day that this needs to go off perfect?" Djek was perplexed. Tyche was always saying he needed to take a more 'active' role. Wouldn't skipping out early be the opposite of that?

Tyche sighed. "Nevermind. You're a good man, Djek. It's been an honest pleasure to be in business together."

"Yeah, you too, ya blonde bastard." Djek smiled, an amber glow of contentment filling his vision. Or maybe that was just the spirits. He smiled even wider---there was nothing quite like getting thoroughly buzzed with your best mate.

Tyche might always use words like 'business' and 'asset' around him, but he knew the two of them were friends. Why else would the gangster have taken a chance on some broke urchin well past his begging prime? Why else would she have taken him across the world with her---from faraway Vay to Nacé, the pirate capital---swindling and blackmailing with hidden grins as they went?

Well, Djek did have some skills---and a lot of folk were altogether too damn covetous of them for comfort---but Tyche had always respected Djek for himself, not for what he could do. She was probably the only one in all the world who liked him for him. Even if she had a hard time saying it.

.

Tagging @somethingclevermahogony @bumblebeebats @fortheoneswhowish @the-angriest-author @jessicagailwrites and YOU :D

[diodellet]

hiya dio!! tossing in 3 (honkai star rail? 👀), 5, and 15!!

hiya ian! thanks for shooting me an ask!!

3.) Go to the [honkai star rail] tag and reblog some art you like that has under 100 notes

aight i gotchu oomfie, ill search for stuff to queue up 😤😤

5.) What genre do you like reading the best?

angst and hurt/comfort 🔛🔝!!!

it's painful, it's good, and it makes emotional processing so much easier and less burdensome because the difficulty goes into finding an okay sentence and stringing together ok-ish dialogue (but at least those can be solved with a banger ass playlist, ykw?)

augh special mention to one of my formative twst fics i love that grim has such a big role in this

15.) Worst fanfic tropes ever?

NOO!!!! U CANT MAKE ME SAY BAD THINGS ABT FANFIC!!! ALL FANFIC IS GOOD WHEN IT IS MADE WITH HEART!!!

(did i say bridal carry? ill just say it again for funsies HAHAHA i dont like bridal carries, it doesn't spark any joy, please just carry me like this🤧👇👇)

i'm usually really open-minded with reading fanfics... so aside from the obvious fanfic writing sins (using generative AI, plagiarism, not doing enough careful research for sensitive topics) OH WAIT--

(this is probably specific to genshin/hyv) but i Reaaaaally don't like it when fandom infantilizes characters that use the teenage model. like, there is such a thing as short adults! (me. i am one of them!) one time i saw someone say that lynette was probably a year younger than lyney and i was confused bcs aren't they twins??? like, are we forgetting that lynette was the primary "errand-goer" for the house of hearth upon getting her vision? girlie's probably seen more shit than lyney did.

^^semi-related to infantilizing characters, i dont like how some obm fics treat luke as a literal toddler. like, yes he's immature but he's got a good head on his shoulders and even if he's a low-ranked angel he probably has sm powers that he can make use of to protect MC. and i esp see how he gets left out even in gen/platonic fics and hcs. smtimes i feel compelled to look at the game's shitty pop quiz events for fanfic fuel (i mean, the luke tag has more ppl saying not to sexualize him than actual writing and that bugs me ://)

There used to be this really good obm fanfic (Nightmare by StarsEncrusted) and it had a plot point of helping luke get his wings, but it++the author's orig account got deleted from ao3. thankfully some fans had the foresight to archive it, so heres a wayback link to the fic and the accompanying side stories

i guess to expound more on my aversion to marriage in fanfic, it icks me when the characterization stops feeling like the characters themselves and the fic starts feeling heteronormative (also sometimes the writing comes across as if the marriage/childbirth "fixes" all those issues, which, it doesn't) and, well, i already kind of deal with the idea of "getting settled down" shoved in my face. it's really not for me. but i do understand why it's comforting to people, smtimes i can indulge in reading in it. but on a bad day, nah, i can't.

anyway, also special shout out to chat fics, they can be fun but idk it reads to me as a way to regurgitate overused incorrect quotes. (please some vines need to be laid to rest. also, can we stop quoting that one copaganda show oh my god)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated fic and art)

[theinfinitedivides]

listening to the PS:2 soundtrack again in an attempt to bite the bullet and psyche myself up to watch both films back to back in August(? that's the goal at least, if i get to watch it earlier even better) and i have been stuck on Veera Raja Veera for an hour and a half. i have also figured out my personal ranking for all versions of the song at last and it went about as well as i would have expected. it started to get too long for the f*cking tags tho so i decided to put in this post, we'll see how it goes from here—list is in order from least liked to most liked btw

5. going to start this off by saying i'm so so sorry to Gulzar but it's something about the rhythm for me. the lyrics are lovely but the way they are lining up with the music in the Hindi version,,,,,,, or failing to in certain parts,,,,,, it's not it. it's not it. it does well in the first minute or so and then heads downhill from there, and tbh it's not his fault i think it's just the sheer amount of syllables that they have to fit in compared to the original? and with that in mind it's not going to sound the same, obviously, but what salvages it from being a complete disappointment is the way we got both Shreya Ghoshal and Kavita Krishnamurthy as a duet in this year of our Lord 2023. Kavita, who still sounds the same as she did on the Dil Se soundtrack singing Satrangi Re and the Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam soundtrack and the Devdas soundtrack and the Yaara Dildaara soundtrack and the K3G soundtrack with Bole Chudiyan and Shreya Ghoshal who is a pleasure to listen to on practically everything she touches (Bajirao Mastani and Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi and that aalap just before her verse with Kavita here i'm looking at you) and— *inhales* *exhales* ok. do appreciate them letting Kavita take the 'चुन चुन चुन चुन / जाली रे जाली चिंगारी' portion in the Hindi translation bc she sounded beautiful there. (she always reminded me of Lata in that regard i think, and for some inexplicable reason i've by extension connected the two of them to Zohra Sehgal in some of her roles)

favorite line — 'दुश्मन पे टूटे जब | बिजलियों का वीर' / 'dushman pe toote jab | bijilyon ka vaar'. this is one of those times where the rhythm works in their favor and works well, and it leads perfectly into the rest of the verse imo. also @ that one guy going 'योद्धा~~' / 'yodhaa~~' at the very end of the song ty for your service

3. in contrast to the rhythm problems of the Hindi the Kannada recording is very smooth? i don't know if that makes sense as someone who doesn't speak the language but it's like water. like water in a stream just one after another going over the stones in the riverbed as it passes or the waves lapping against the side of the ship or the gentle sound wind chimes make when they hit against each other in the lightest breeze—the phrasing doesn't feel forced (ty Jayant Kaikini sir) and the syllables match the music as well as the original. ofc Rakshita Suresh and Sivasri Skandaprasad have a part to play with their solos in this sounding as good as it does, despite its ranking on my list (which will be explained in the next entry), and while i expected nothing less from Rakshita after Kirunage, this is the first i'm hearing from Sivasri and she blew me away. i had to listen to it several times to be able to tell them apart, and i might still be wrong bc their voice color is very, very similar, but they took what Rahman gave them and made it their own. (is it Rakshita that starts and Sivasri that continues? i'm thinking that it alternates between them with Sivasri ending that portion)

favorite line — 'ಮಳೆಗರೆವಾಗ ಬಾಣ | ಅಡಗಳು ಎಲ್ಲಿ ತಾಣಾ' / 'malegarevaaga baana | adagalu elli thaana'. this is where the river analysis stands out to me bc this feels like putting pebbles said river into a tumbler and rolling them over and over until they come out smooth and polished and just. right. (i am using the word smooth a lot to talk about the Kannada version sksksksk but can you blame me)

3. technically Malayalam and Kannada tie for third place on here (there is no fourth place. there is 4.75th place rounded up to fifth place and that belongs to the Hindi entry as previously stated) but Malayalam has the slightest edge for me. in terms of sound/pronunciation it's the closest to the original—i know most scholars believe that Malayalam descended from Tamil and split early on, so that might have something to do with it, but it sounds like a perfect cross between the flow of Kannada and the strength of the Tamil and ugh. pair that with Srinivas featuring and Shweta Mohan taking on that solo (by herself!!! and eating that sh*t like it was a duet!!!) and Rafeeq Ahamed as the lyricist and i play it almost as often as i play the original. (i was almost half expecting to hear the extension at the end in this version, that's how good it was)

favorite line — 'കടലിൽ ചുഴലി പോലെ | തവ നൗക കളിരമ്പി' / 'kadalil chuzhali pole | thava noukakalirambi'. i am in love with what Shweta does here, especially with the latter half of the line ('... നൗക കളിരമ്പി' / 'noukakalirambi') since she just heads straight into the 'വൻകടൽ...' and for some reason that is so auditorily pleasing to me. i don't have any rational thoughts behind that that's just how it is. her aalap before her verse is also breathier/softer than Shreya's if that makes sense but it fits her perfectly

2. Telugu. holy f*ck, Telugu. you put Shankar Mahadevan (i don't think i've ever heard him sing a bad song. ever. at least not what i've heard) and Chinmayi (Tere Bina???? Mayya Mayya???? Titli???? i'm still not over any of them from her????) in the same song you make every f*cking verse rhyme almost exactly courtesy of Chandrabose if Kannada is the sound of water then Telugu is pure silk and honey and the feel of something melting in your mouth and you expect me to stay alive? the actual f*ck? admittedly i may be biased bc one of my OCs is Telugu and i have been putting Telugu covers from my Bollywood playlist on loop for inspo but uh Rahman what the f*ck. what the f*ck am i supposed to do with that kind of genius

favorite line(s) — 'సమరం శ్రుతించైరా శిఖరం స్పృశించైర' / 'samaram shruthinchaira shikharam spushinchaira' & 'విధిగా తెగించైర | విధినే వదించైర | విలయం దరించైర | విజయం వరించైర' / 'vidhigaa thegincheyraa | vidhine vadhincheyraa | vilayam dharincheyraa | vijayam varincheyraa'. the f*cking alliteration? hello? also the 'veera raja veera' at the end of this version in particular gives me full body chills bc there is someone going up with the harmonization every time there's a new line. i don't know who it is but he's (they're? could be multiple vocals) going up and i am crying shaking throwing up on the floor having a spiritual experience etc etc

and finally 1. the top spot. the place where everything has been leading through this long ass piece that i have put you to suffer through

and ykw Tamil is pretty much self-explanatory i think: we bring Shankar back as we should but this time K.S Chithra (Asoka!!! Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon!!! Bombay and Thoda Thoda from Indira/Priyanka and the live version of Jiya Jale that Rahman did in Dubai!!!) and Harini (also sang for Indira/Priyanka and featured on Varayo Thozhi from Jeans) are with him and Ilango Krishnan's lyrics take over and flatline me on the f*cking operating table. before it flatlines me however i break into goosebumps every time i hear it start, bc lbh it is impossible not to when you have the f*cking vocals coming in like 'காணீரோ? நீர் காண் | சோழ வெற்றி வாள் ஒன்றை காணீரோ? | ஓ அழகிய பூவே! செல்லுதியோ | மலரிடு போ சகி!' if you stay sane during that opening you are a liar get off my feed unfollow and block i don't want you anywhere near me for the next six years or however long it takes Mani Ratnam to make his next masterpiece. no coherent thoughts head empty MV playing on loop he and Rahman own me now they have the copyrights

favorite line (had to split everything into two blocks bc Tumblr was tryin to f*ck up my sh*t) — 'எம் தமிழ் வாழ்க வாழ்க! | வீர சோழம் வாழ்க! | நற்றமிழ் வாழ்க வாழ்க! | நல்லோர் தேசம் வாழ்க!' / 'em thamizh vaazhga vaazhga! | veera sozham vaazhga! | natramizh vaazhga vaazhga! | nallor thesam vaazhga!'. technically this isn't my favorite favorite line bc i have to do a seperate ranking for that below + it's exclusive to the Tamil version and i am trying to make this a wholistic review but. it's f*cking up there let's just say that. i think i mentioned in the tags of a different post of how i've been doing genealogy research and (in the process) tentatively confirmed the possibility of there being some South Asian descent from my dad's side, specifically Tamil or Telugu based on the stories/timeline of French occupation in the Caribbean and portions of the Indian subcontinent, and there's something in me that shifts every time we get down to the last twenty or so seconds and this hits. i don't know what it is, truly—maybe the remnants of the genes of my ancestors and their pride for their land, their language—but it's there and it's loud and if it's the right day at the right time i will start crying btw. full on sobbing like a little bitch. you didn't ask but i told you anyway

after all of *motions* that, i am also offering a bonus ranking of the section of VRV that makes me rewind every f*cking time it comes on in every language, bc it featured heavily in creating my eventual rankings and i would be remiss to not mention it. so here have this additional dive into my thought process during these trying times of hyperfixation rip

'आंधी से तेज़ | तूफ़ान से तेज़ | चुन चुन चुन चुन | जाली रे जाली चिंगारी | अंग अंग अंग अंग | लागे रे लागे अंगारे' / 'aandhi se tez | toofaan se tez | chun chun chun chun | jaali re jaali chingaari | ang ang ang ang | laagey re laagey angaare', Hindi — still at the bottom of the list here, but the inflection during the repetition ('chun chun chun chun' and 'ang ang ang ang') salvages it somewhat. nothing else to say it about it otherwise, since i already addressed Kavita's voice here earlier

'വാക്കാകെ നീ കാറ്റാക നീ | ശര ശര ശര ശരമേയ്ക | വേൽമഴ നെയ്തിട് | റ പറ പറ പറ വിറകൊൾക | പായട്ടെ പായ്വഞ്ചികൾ' / 'vaakkaaka nee kaattaaka nee | shara shara shara sharameyka | velmazha neythidu | para para para para virakolka | paayatte paayvanchikal', Malayalam — taking that third place as always, but its tied partner in the general rankings is higher up in this list for a change. i think the very last part ('പായട്ടെ പായ്വഞ്ചികൾ' / 'paayatte paayvanchikal') is what throws me off tho bc of the way they distributed the line, since on the first listen i was expecting them to go 'paayatte paayvan-chi-kal' and they chose 'paayatte pa-ay-van-chikal' instead. it's not like it decreases the overall quality of the song or anything it's just a very specific hang up i have. who knows maybe my preferred pronunciation would have f*cked with the meaning and we do not want that

'సుడిగాడ్పులా అడుగేయరా | సర సర సర సర | శరమే తనువే తాకగా | చర చర చర చర | చెలరేగాలి వేగంగా' / 'sudi gaadpulaa adugeyyaraa | sara sara sara sara | sharame thanuve thaakagaa | chara chara chara chara | chelaraegaali vegangaa', Telugu — this ties with Malayalam for third place and, much like it, my quirk is specfically with the last part ('చెలరేగాలి వేగంగా' / 'chelaregaali vegangaa'). my preferred is 'chelare-gaali ve-gan-gaa', they gave me 'chelare-gaa-li ve-gan-gaa'. again, not an issue, this is just me, i'm sure they knew what they were doing otherwise they wouldn't have recorded it like that in the first place

'ನೀ ಜ್ವಾಲೆಯು ನೀ ಗಾಳಿಯೂ | ಸರ ಸರ ಸುರಿವ | ಮಳೆಯಂತೆ ಶೂಲಗಳು | ಭರ ಭರ ಭರ ಭರನೆ | ಭೋರ್ಗರೆವ ಪಂಜುಗಳು' / 'nee jwaaleyu nee gaaliyuu | sara sara suriva | maleyanthe shoolagalu | bhara bhara bhara bharane | bhorgareva panjugalu', Kannada — there are at least two portions here that sound eerily similar to the original and that is why this version has moved up to spot two. it takes that water comparison i made and uses it to its advantage so much and it rotates in my mind like a rotisserie chicken at just at the right angle and it's just!!!! it's just!!!! God pls keep me from putting this in my mouth and biting it's too good

'கூற்றாகிச் செல்... | காற்றாகிச் செல்... | சர சர சர சரவெனவே | மழை தான் பெய்திட | பர பர பர பரவென | பாயட்டும் பாய்மரம்' / 'kootraagi sel... | kaatraagi sel... | sara sara sara saravena | velmazhai thaan peidhida | para para para paravena | paayattum paaimaram', Tamil — when this hits i blank out and come to at random intervals. cannot pinpoint the time the place etc but it happens and when it does i go f*cking feral. this one i am indeed putting in my mouth and biting bc the entire thing from 'para para...' onwards??? more alliteration more alliteration more f*cking alliteration. i remember someone making a post on here that said that certain parts of VRV sound like pearls bouncing off of the floor (was it @mizutaama? i apologize for the tag but i think that was you) and i think this is what they were referring to but my ears are that f*cking floor. i thank God every day for that

anyway mutuals (and non-mutuals who are just as obsessed about PS as i am) i'm sorry for clogging your feed with my opinions on a film i haven't even watched properly, pls feel free to roast me about my ranking choices. or agree but it doesn't really matter at this point bc even tho i could be talking out of my ass in terms of actually speaking said languages (i,,,,, do not unfortunately) i've said what i needed to say sksksksk