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bisexualbumblebee-writes · 2 years

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Chaperone Part 1- Haldir x OC

Haldir x Mirabella

Description: Mirabella is called to Rivendell to heal Frodo Baggins after he was stabbed by a Morgul Blade. Once she’s finished she has the best chaperone to take care of her.

Word Count: 2.4k

“Lady Mirabella!” The shout of an assistant elf named Merith was enough to catch the woman’s attention, and she turned to face him as he reached her.

“Merith, what is it?” She questioned worriedly, immediately noticing the anxious look on his face. “What's wrong?”

“I come with word from Lord Elrond of Rivendell,” he explained, holding up a letter. “It’s crucial that you read it. That confused Mirabella, and she glanced at the letter in his hand.

“If it’s so urgent then shouldn’t it be taken to Lady Galadriel or Lord Celeborn?” Merith shook his head ferverously.

“Lady Galadriel said that you should be the one to read it, she already knows what it says, but you must do so at once.”

“Alright, alright, thank you, mellon nin (my friend),” she responded calmly, finally taking the parchment from him. “You are excused.” Merith nodded, looking relieved that he no longer had to carry the letter, then bowed and walked away to attend to his other duties. Mirabella shook her head at him then read the letter’s contents.

Dearest Mirabella,

Normally I would be happy to write to you, but I am afraid certain circumstances have prevented this letter from being a joyous occasion. My daughter Arwen has had a terrible vision of the bearer of the One Ring, Frodo Baggins. He has been stabbed by a Morgul Blade while on his way to Rivendell. Though I have many healing abilities, I am afraid this may be something even I can’t do. The only thing that could save him is time, which is why I am writing to you. I will need your assistance as soon as possible to make sure that this poor Hobbit doesn’t perish nor turn into a Ring Wraith.

Sincerely, and very urgently,

Lord Elrond Peredhil

Mirabella nearly dropped the letter in shock, her mind running a million miles an hour. The One Ring has been rediscovered? By a hobbit of all creatures? And he was taking it to Rivendell? Why? She had no idea, but that wasn’t important. What mattered was that her services were needed in Rivendell and she had to leave immediately

Lady Galadriel seemed to already know what Mirabella wanted when she knocked on her door. She, Lord Celeborn and Haldir were in the throne room, and all eyes went to her as she entered.

“Mirabella, I was wondering when you would join us,” the elder elf greeted with a kind smile. Mirabella offered her an apologetic look, then held up the letter.

“So I assume you know why I am here,” she suggested, earning a nod from the woman. “Am I allowed to go, then?” Galadriel almost looked amused by the girl’s question.

“Of course you can,” she responded, taking a step closer to her and taking the girl's hands in hers, staring deep into her eyes as if she were offering Mirabella a vision just by touching her. “The fate of the Ring Bearer is in your hands, Mirabella. You are the only one that can save him. You must go to Rivendell at once, I’m sure we are more than capable of handling things in your absence.” Mirabella nodded at the woman shortly before she stepped away and gestured to Haldir, who stayed stoic in the presence of his Lord and Lady.

“Haldir has already kindly volunteered to escort you to Rivendell as both the official Marchwarden and as your worried husband.” If the situation weren’t so serious Mirabella would have laughed at the very subtle blush that dusted the tips of her Haldir’s ears. Then, she processed the older elf’s words and grew rather confused.

“Worried husband, My Lady?” She repeated curiously as her eyes went back to Galadriel, who nodded as she stepped closer to Celeborn.

“It is no secret that when you use too much of your power at once then it can make you considerably weaker. I don’t need to look into the future to know that what you’re about to have to do to Frodo Baggins, will take quite a bit, if not all the power you have in the moment. Though I can see many things into the future, I cannot tell what that kind of strain will do to you.” Haldir nodded, then looked to his wife.

“Once I was informed of your required aid, I knew that it would be best for me to come along as a guard for the journey there and back as well as to take care of you when you finish with the Ring Bearer. And before you say anything, I know that you can handle yourself in a fight. But, I would rather you be safe than sorry, especially since the Nazgul that attacked the Ring Bearer did so while close to Rivendell.” Mirabella nodded solemnly then faced Galadriel once more.

“Very well, when do we leave?”

“As soon as possible,” the woman answered. “Haldir has already packed your bags and I am having rations prepared for your journey that will be given to you when you reach the entrance. You are excused. Good luck, and ride swiftly, Mirabella Holidan. I pray you have a safe journey.”

“Thank you, My Lady.” The girl curtsied to both her and Lord Celeborn before she walked out with Haldir following. It didn’t take them long to leave after receiving their food rations and with one quick goodbye to Haldir’s brothers they were off to Rivendell.

The trip took a bit longer than Mirabella would have liked. It was already their third day into the trip, and they would probably still have another day or two before they finally arrived. That would be a problem though. The longer she took to get there, the more the poison of the Morgul blade nested deeper in Frodo’s body and the more power she would have to use while healing him. That’s what made her push to keep going even when night fell. Though she felt bad for both their trusty horses and Haldir for their being forced to not stop, she knew that it would be worth it when they got to Rivendell. But until then, she would keep pushing them.

Finally they had cut off enough time and arrived as dusk began to set over the valley. Aragorn, Gandalf and Frodo’s company Sam, Merry, Pippin, Brooke and Camelia were all waiting at the entrance for them. The group visibly perked up when Mirabella’s horse Aubron stopped in front of them.

“Lady Mirabella,” Gandalf greeted, helping her down as Aragorn grabbed Aubron’s reins to take him to the stables. “This way, please.” Mirabella barely had time to respond before Gandalf rushed her inside the Last Homely House. She spared one last glance at Haldir, who stared at her worriedly as he slid off his horse. She couldn’t offer him more than a reassuring smile before they disappeared from his sight. They practically ran to the room where Frodo was being treated and Gandalf led her inside. Elrond and Issa were sitting inside, but stood when they heard the door open.

“Thank the Valar that you are here Lady Mirabella,” Issa greeted with a relieved sigh.

“I can only wish that I was here under better circumstances,” the girl replied with a sad smile as she accepted Elrond’s hug before looking down at the hobbit. “This is the Ring Bearer?”

“Yes,” Elrond replied as he pulled away. “Issa and I were able to at least stabilize him, but it won’t last much longer. Is there anything you can do?”

“Of course there is,” Mirabella answered, receiving relieved looks all around. “I’m afraid it will just have to be the two of us. I can’t risk any distractions while I’m working on something so dire.”

“We understand,” Gandalf said, pressing a hand to the girl’s back before looking at the other two.

“Come, we must let her work,” he instructed. Elrond and Issa obeyed and walked out of the room with the wizard behind them, the latter casting a sad glance at the hobbit before closing the door behind them.

Once she was alone, Mirabella let out a small sigh then faced the hobbit once more. He was very pale, almost paper white and his lips were almost becoming purple despite the fact that she could still faintly hear his ragged breathing as he rested. She couldn’t help but shudder at his state but she still took a seat beside him, searching for where his injury was. He had been stabbed in the shoulder, one of the closest places to his heart. It probably didn’t help that she had been delayed in getting there by a longer than necessary (in her opinion) journey. She didn’t have much time, she had to get to work immediately. So, with one deep breath, she placed her hand over the wound and began chanting her time reversal spell.

“A deed’s been done

And time has past

But something’s wrong

That cannot last

Return him to

That time and place

So he may change

And his memory replace”

She had to repeat the same phrase for hours on end. For such a grave injury, it required her to use every healing spell including that one for nearly four hours before the poison finally left his body for good. It was a slow torturous process that drained Mirabella, but he was looking much better by now. His skin had regained most of its color and his lips were no longer purple, but pink instead. He still wasn’t awake yet though, so she had to continue.

“Frodo Baggins, lasto beth nîn (hear my voice),” she begged in a whisper, her magic filling him with every word. “Tolo dan nan galad (Come back to the light). Fasta tolo dan nan galad (Please come back to the light).” That’s what did the job. Without warning Frodo suddenly shot up with a loud gasp as if his lungs had been filled with air for the first time in days (which it probably was). Mirabella, though surprised by the sudden action, couldn’t help but laugh jovially as he looked around.

“Frodo Baggins, do you know where you are?” The boy looked at her, confusion etched into his features. It took him a few minutes to respond as he had to gather his bearings and find his voice.

“Um, Rivendell, right?” He answered, earning a nod from her.

“Correct. And do you remember anything that happened?” He was silent for another few minutes as he attempted to recollect what happened. He didn’t get to answer before a knock was heard on the door. They didn’t have time to answer before the door opened and in piled five hobbits, Elrond, Issa, Aragorn and Gandalf, all excited to see that Frodo was awake. She barely had time to get up before the hobbits practically jumped on his bed. A small giggle left her lips and she faced Elrond when he rested a hand on her shoulder.

“You truly have a gift, Mrs. Mirabella,” he spoke gratefully. “I don’t know how we can ever repay you.” Mirabella only offered him a kind smile and rested her hand over his.

“There is no need for repayment, as long as I get to see him still live then I will be content.” The elf nodded at her then began leading her out.

“Well, I imagine that you’re very tired now, you should probably get some rest,” he informed her as he closed the door. “Your husband is in your temporary room worrying away.” That made the girl giggle as she allowed him to lead her to her room.

“Oh, has he?”

“Oh yes, he’s been there since you went to Frodo’s room. You can imagine what several hours of anxiety can do to someone,” he answered as they stopped in front of a bedroom door. “This will be your room for the time being. You’re welcome to stay as long as you want, though I imagine Lady Galadriel will want you home as soon as possible.”

“She’s not worried about me,” Mirabella brushed off. “But I should probably go check on my husband. Thank you Lord Elrond.” Elrond offered her a single nod then walked away, leaving her alone. She straightened out her dress and fixed her hair (though she knew that he wouldn’t care what she looked like) then knocked on the door before entering.

Haldir had been pacing beside the bed with his hands behind his back in more casual attire, his hard and worried gaze concentrated on the floor in front of him. When he heard the door open he finally looked up, then all but sighed in relief when his eyes landed on his wife.

“How are you feeling?” Was the first thing he said as he made his way over to her. Mirabella smiled when his arms wrapped around her and she rested her hands on his biceps.

“I’m fine, meleth nin (my love). And so is Master Baggins.” To be honest Haldir couldn’t care less about Frodo’s state. He was more worried about the fact that Mirabella had just used her powers for the last four hours without a single break according to the updates Gandalf was giving him. Yet, she seemed okay? “It’s the adrenaline,” he reasoned. Which was actually true, that much was obvious. Though she still seemed wide awake, Haldir could tell by the slight sagging of her shoulders and light grip on his arm that she was becoming tired.

“That’s wonderful meleth (love), but I think it’s time for you to get some rest,” he responded softly, leading her over to the bed carefully. “It’ll help you in the coming days that you get your strength back. I also had the kitchen prepare Jasmine and Passion Flower tea to aid in regaining your well-being after you rest.”

“I thought that I was the healer,” she half joked, though she allowed him to help her sit in the bed. Haldir rolled his eyes playfully as he crouched down to remove her shoes.

“I’m not a healer, just repeating what I’ve heard my intelligent wife say before.”

“Aw, you actually listen to me,” Mirabella teased, laying down after Haldir set her shoes aside.

“Only when you say something worth listening to, wish isn’t often I might add,” he responded in the same tone, prompting her to stick her tongue out at him.

“You wound me, Marchwarden,” she muttered, holding her arms out for him. The elf offered her a small smile as he laid beside her, wrapping his arms around her middle.

“Get some sleep meleth nin (my love),” he whispered, kissing her forehead afterwards. “I will be here when you wake up.” Mirabella didn’t need to be told twice. The rest of her adrenaline had worn off by now and her eyes were already drooping. Rather than speaking she nodded silently and fell asleep only seconds later.

#lord of the rings #lotr #lotr imagine #haldir #haldir imagine #haldir x oc

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bouwrites · 1 year

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Those Warm and Halcyon Days: Chapter 65

Titanomachia

Ao3.

First, Previous, Next.

Story under read-more.

They are marching to Fhirdiad. By all accounts, nothing special happens. There’s a brisk chill in the air, which some in the army (not Veery) complain about, but even by Faerghan standards, if Sylvain is to be believed, it’s a pleasant day for a march.

There’s no sign of the freezing rain which plagues them on the road to Fraldarius. They take a longer route than the most direct path, which Lysithea mentions is because of Anna’s intel on Imperial movements in the area, but that only means that there is nothing to block their path and their journey remains uninterrupted.

It’s as good as a war march can possibly get.

But Veery itches. It’s not quite a crawling in his skin, but something altogether deeper. It’s not foreboding, though it instills in him a healthy dose of that, and it’s not nerves he knows for sure. Each of his emotions he can separate from this writhing in his blood, leaving him no closer to an explanation than he starts.

“Veery?”

“What?” Veery doesn’t mean to snap, but he’s antsy in a way he can’t explain, and the word just comes out sharper than he intends.

Sylvain eyes him oddly but doesn’t say anything about it. He only takes a small step away to a more casual distance. Veery suspects even that is due more to Sadi and Hoarvug glaring at him than Veery’s own behavior.

“We’re getting close to Fhirdiad,” Sylvain says. “We’ll be stationed in different parts of the city. I just wanted to see you before everything gets out of hand. Wish you luck.”

Oh. That’s… sweet. “Oh,” Veery says, “thanks. You stay alive, too.”

Sylvain offers a wry smile. “One way or another. Right?” He sighs, and there is a long moment where he eyes Veery appraisingly, then he says, “Hey, I know some spots in Fhirdiad you’d love. Once we’ve taken the city back and things calm down a bit, would you go on a little tour with me? It’s been a while since I’ve been there – it’ll be nice to look around again. Especially so if I’m with someone as handsome as you.”

Sadi and Caub (but strangely, not Hoarvug) bristle in sync as Sylvain speaks his idea. Sadi parts her lips but quickly catches herself before she makes a sound, pointedly looking away to ignore the conversation for the time being. Caub simply knows better and holds his tongue about the prospective date.

Veery himself is less enthused than he thinks he normally would be. He likes going on dates with Sylvain, typically, because Sylvain is really good at needling Veery into having fun and not thinking about horrible things. Yet today, Veery is just irritated that he’s even being asked.

Why should he go touring Fhirdiad with Sylvain? Why should he care about Fhirdiad at all? Everything here in Fódlan, the place, the people, is all temporary in Veery’s life. It won’t be long before he’s going back to Albinea to live alone like he wants.

It’s better that way. It’s better because he’s tired and there are so many people and he doesn’t know how to handle people individually most of the time, much less this many. Just existing in this place is exhausting because people just keep happening around him, doing their own things, and he’s too ill-equipped even just to see them.

It’s better because his head hurts and his bones ache and his heart flutters unstably and being near people means that he’s inevitably going to hurt them and there are a lot of people Veery is willing to hurt and kill but Sylvain-

Sylvain is not one of those people.

Veery’s tail lashes and his ears twitch and he suppresses every fiery instinct in him because he doesn’t want to hurt Sylvain, and the fact that he has to watch out for such things at all is a terrible sign that he shouldn’t be here.

Sylvain’s gaze is so soft. “Well, think about it,” he says. “I need to go check on Ashe and the others, so I guess I’ll see you after the battle.”

They can hope. Veery’s tongue is heavy and oily so all he manages is a nod.

Sylvain leaves.

Twitching, writhing silence sinks into the group of Albineans like a miasma in the air.

“I fear I may regret asking,” Caub says eventually, breaking the silence but not affecting the miasma whatsoever, “but are you three alright?”

“Us?” Hoarvug snorts. “You have been wallowing since before we left Garreg Mach, and you ask us if we are alright? We are proud agell warriors – we need no concern from humans.”

“I almost want to rip out your tongue just for asking,” Sadi says casually. With a small sigh, she adds, “Which, if you were any other human, would not be cause for alarm.” Does she regularly want to maim the humans around them? A half-moment of thought and Veery realizes that yes, she probably does. “But you are you, and so I suspect the answer to your question is no.”

Hoarvug half-starts to say something but cuts himself off, furrowing his brow as he closes his eyes. “Anger… impatience… these are not unfamiliar to me, so I hadn’t thought about it…”

“Something is wrong,” Sadi says confidently, simply, like it’s a fact of the world rather than speculation based off of feelings. “Something in the air. I can sense it – we all can. It’s getting stronger the closer we get to Fhirdiad.”

Ah. Yeah. That’s what it is. But what?

Caub worries his lip, palms his axe. “That’s… is it cause for concern?”

“We are agell,” Hoarvug says. “If you fear we cannot control ourselves-”

“Truthfully,” Sadi hisses, disgust clear on her face, “It is not easy. Much as my pride hurts to admit, already my temper is thin. It would not take much to wrest what control I have away. Still, no agell would let petty influences like this stop us.”

Caub touches a hand to his brow, covering his eyes as he thinks. Under his breath, Veery hears him mutter, “Is this what that meant?” Looking to Sadi again, he says aloud, “What can you tell me about this… thing in the air? Seer magics deal with the mind. I may be able to ward it off to an extent.”

Sadi snorts. “I would not let you manipulate my mind if my life depended on it.”

“It may,” Caub says dangerously. “Do you understand what you’re facing?”

“Do not mistake my politeness for trust, human,” Sadi warns. “Even you, whom I tolerate for Veery’s sake, can only go so far.”

Wisely, Caub backs off. “Very well. I will never force something like this. Still, what can you tell me about this thing affecting you? Understanding it will help us all, including you, even without my magics.”

Sadi huffs. Caub looks to Hoarvug and Veery. No one really expects Hoarvug to have any great insights – this miasma is insidious without a doubt. Even Veery doesn’t notice how it’s hanging in the air like the magic in Brigid until Sadi points it out, only his own unstable emotions. And the excited, fiery emotions are normal for Hoarvug.

(Sharing hearts with Hoarvug so much may have numbed Veery a bit to the odd feelings in his chest, maybe.)

“Is this something we need to bring up with Claude?” Caub asks.

Sadi grits her teeth. Her knuckles turn white around her own arms, folded over her chest. Her eyes are screwed shut, wrinkled at the edges. “…No,” she hisses. “Not one of us will be controlled by this. We are aware of it, so we can control ourselves.”

Damn right. This miasma is irritating and gross but it’s control over Veery only extends so far as he is complacent to it. Even Hoarvug would never succumb to such a thing. He’s resolved, after all. His path is the one determined by his own heart in the present moment, not one that odd, oppressive magic lingering around his mind dictates.

Veery is the same. Sadi is the same. They might mention it, because Veery has an unsettling feeling that whatever this influence in the air is, is the work of Cornelia and the Agarthans. (Who else can do such a thing, which so far seems to affect only the agell – Veery will definitely ask Seteth and Flayn if they’re experiencing this.) But it’s no cause for alarm.

They will all still do their part in the battle to come.

Of the four of them, Caub is the only one with any doubt in his countenance. He frowns, but he does not protest.

Despite his confidence, Veery doesn’t protest either when he notices Caub keeping an especially close eye on the three cats as they approach Fhirdiad.

The miasma, whatever it is, gets thicker closer to the city. Overlooking the city walls as they are, Veery can hardly take in the sight of Fhirdiad for the cloying pressure making him wince.

He asks Seteth, as inconspicuously as possible, if he senses anything off, but Seteth only asks if he’s nervous. He is now. Whatever this is, if Seteth can’t sense it, isn’t something aimed at the dragons which catches Veery, Sadi, and Hoarvug by happenstance. This isn’t the Agarthans ignoring the agell again in favor of dragons.

If Seteth can’t sense any more than Caub can, then either this is entirely in their heads (which Veery cannot accept) or it’s deliberately targeting him.

Him. Not Sadi and Hoarvug. As dangerous as they are on the battlefield, they are not important enough on the scale of armies to target specifically. But the cat saint, whose cult at this point makes up something like half of the resistance army… (Maybe more, Veery is reluctant to admit.) Targeting him isn’t so different from targeting Professor Byleth.

Were Veery not using all he has just to keep a stopper on the bubbling deep in his gut, he’d laugh. To target him? The Agarthans must vastly overestimate the control he has over his “followers”. If only he could get them to lose faith in him and leave him alone.

Still, the realization does nothing to settle the uneasiness thrumming beneath his skin. On the contrary, it just gets worse.

Well, there’s nothing for it. All Veery can do is survive. And the battle begins without too much loitering for him to linger on his feelings or get caught up in apprehension.

His blood itches, churning with a roiling, sticky, blazing fog. He can’t stay still. He wants to rend and tear. Next to him, Sadi and Hoarvug fidget as well, flexing their claws and lashing their tails.

When the order comes to attack, it’s almost a relief to them. The chaos of battle is both a distraction away from what lurks in their blood and an ointment to soothe it.

There is no mercy like there is at Fort Merceus. There is no deal. In Fhirdiad, the Imperial soldiers are slaughtering even the citizens rebelling alongside the invading resistance army. Veery almost kills the rebels too, until he marks who they’re fighting, their inexperience, and in many cases, their improvised weapons.

Slaughtering rebelling militia. That’s literally how Veery meets the Church of Seiros. And Edelgard claims to be better than Rhea.

The realization burns. And, together with Hoarvug and Sadi, Veery cuts through the sanguine streets.

It starts like any other battle.

Maul, rip, tear, crush. Survive, and kill to do it. Veery’s fur bristles. He watches with sick satisfaction at Imperial soldiers turning tail and fleeing before him.

(They do not escape.)

Veery shatters a man’s arm in his jaws, opens a woman’s chest with his claws. As he pads along the stone path, his paws squelch with blood and he feels…

More. More.

He’s not meant to confront Cornelia, but he is meant to cut a path to the central city. Claude suspects that will be where demonic beasts will be stationed, to protect Cornelia, and Veery is one of the select few who can reasonably face those things on somewhat even ground.

So Veery cuts his path. The army follows behind. The Imperial soldiers fall. Chaos guide them all, but no matter Chaos’ place in this, Veery will return these humans to the earth and snow.

It’s the only thing…

More. He needs more. More Chaos. More mauling, ripping, tearing, crushing. More.

Veery shakes his head violently, not even registering the soldier in his maw as he does so. (Veery damn near tears their arm off, but he doesn’t give it a thought beyond that simple fact and the warm, stinging blood on his tongue.) He lashes his tail.

Get a grip!

Who is he to revel in violence? Who is he to want more of this? Get this damn corrupting miasma out of his head!

Horrible screeching shakes Veery, for the moment, out of the battle-haze. It’s a ridiculous thing to come to Veery’s mind in the moment, but he’s reminded of the dreadful sound in the dining hall at Garreg Mach, of silverware scraping together. It’s not as light and tinny, but it’s similar enough, and just as chilling.

“Puppets!” Caub shouts. “Nothing more than mindless steel. Rally yourselves!”

Lysithea sneers. “Ugh, Agarthan technology, no doubt. I admit, you foresaw this, Caub. That is interesting. Well, let’s make quick work of this. Don’t give it time to do anything fancy.”

Veery likes that idea.

He shouldn’t, but he does.

There. His enemy. Finally, an enemy worth the effort. Maybe it’s strong enough to make him push himself, to make him feel anything but this torturous anguish, this hate, this lust for destruction, this hunger in him which he hates more even than the humans and death around him.

Caub’s description from his vision is apt, Veery thinks. An enormous black metal beast in the vague shape of a man, easily the size of a demonic beast, much like the golems in the Holy Tomb. Have the Agarthans taken inspiration from them, Veery wonders, to create this weapon? Are the golems Rhea’s doing in the first place? Are these metal titans a product of her, as well?

It doesn’t matter, in the end. What matters is the ground shaking beneath Veery’s paws with each of the titan’s steps, the massive, segmented shield covering half its body, and the very real, very dangerous blade in its hand.

Veery rushes in, takes a swipe at the titan, but his claws scrape uselessly across the metal. Hoarvug and Sadi both dive in, too, but face the same problem. Every attack they make harmlessly slides or bounces off the tough exterior of the titan. Even the twisting, cutting light of Lysithea’s Abraxas spell does little but scratch the thing, and Marianne’s magic does nothing at all.

“Normal weapons don’t work!” Lysithea roars. “Get a Relic here, now! In the meantime, look for weak points! Nothing is invulnerable!”

A Relic, she says? Has she forgotten why Veery is here? He lashes his tail, tapping into the anger, the righteousness, the indignation and fury that ripples through his blood, warms his skin, and sets his fur alight.

He shivers with power. It thrums like music through his veins.

The thing has a shield. That means it can’t be invulnerable. Shields are meant to protect the wielder. Something with perfect defense has no use for a shield.

He uses Lysithea’s distraction, drawing its attention, to slip close to the titan. The glowing bits scattered throughout the body scream “weak point” to him, but he’s not so foolish as to believe that the Agarthans would make such obvious weaknesses.

He leaps onto the figure’s body, passing one such glowing hole as he climbs, and is nearly thrown off when the hole erupts with a shower of sparks that only just singes his fur. Were he less cautious and more headstrong about the theory, he’d likely be hurt.

Traps. Not weaknesses, but weapons disguised as such.

What else can they expect from humans? The lot of them should walk the ice. Some time in the snow fields during winter would sort out the humans fast enough.

Veery flexes his claws, finally puncturing the titan’s body rather than simply scrambling for purchase.

Oh, to tear down everything these humans have built. He can do it. It will even be fun.

He’s prepared to start his destruction with the titan’s head, but the hand holding the blade comes at him. He’s forced to disengage or be skewered on the blade, and he huffs, unsatisfied, when he lands on his feet and sees that the damn thing hasn’t stabbed itself by accident.

Mindless puppet it may be, but apparently, it’s still not that stupid.

(The fact that it’s smart enough not to kill itself means it’s a fair bit ahead of a lot of humans, Veery thinks.)

“Watch out!”

Not enough time. Not to think, nor to retreat or evade. The titan charges him, leading with the shield. All Veery can do is jump onto the shield itself, taking the jarring, bone-shaking impact rattling him, and take control of the fall after it sends him flying.

He does… mostly okay. He lands on his feet, but hard, and the initial shock of the hit echoes through him, collapsing his knees, sending him to an undignified heap on the ground where he lands.

Feels like he got hit by a dragon.

He’s going to dismantle that thing.

The growl in Veery’s chest, coupled with the hate in his eyes, is enough to send the allied soldiers around him running. Mostly into enemy lines. Whether because they’re fighting for the incredibly pissed off cat saint/god or whether they’re simply trying to get away from him, he doesn’t have the capacity to ponder.

Every inch of him, every strand of fur on his body, every muscle as he flexes, burns. Not just with the use of Sothis’ power, though that wells up within him as well, but he burns with loathing for everything that exists.

Veery roars, and in it he promises horror for all who stay to witness.

(“Are you okay, Veery?”)

Veery rushes in again. Hoarvug is there, too, and Sadi, and they harass the titan. They slip under its shield, nip at its heels, jump on its back. Hoarvug and Sadi can’t do any real damage, at least not to any part Veery leaves intact, but they can throw enough impact at it to draw its attention away from anyone else.

Veery himself channels all of the power he has at his disposal and focuses it with the intent to rend this titan into as many pieces as possible. He cuts through the metallic skin which frays like a bundle of cord. He rips, tears, mauls, and even manages to melt through part of its armor with the holy flames of Abraxas. The weakened, heated metal falls away at his claws, shredding like paper.

Thunderous impact bursts in Veery’s ear. It’s still ringing when he sees the glowing arrow piercing the titan’s shoulder. The next arrow hits the thing’s helmet and somehow bounces off. The shockwave from the impact alone nearly sends Veery flying, but somehow it doesn’t pierce.

That’s quite enough of that. Veery will obliterate this thing, one way or another.

He leaps onto it, latching on with his jaws. It tastes of ash and stinging metal and makes his fur stand on end. Magic. The thing is controlled by magic.

No real surprise there, but if Veery sinks his fangs in deep enough, gets enough access to that magic which makes up this titan’s blood-

Aha. He grins through his mouthful of vile cording and reaches in.

In Brigid, Veery learns to use magic from outside of him. He’s never tried using magic from inside someone else before – and in fact isn’t sure it would work – but this titan is no conscious being using the magic within it. It’s simply being animated by it.

It's not so hard, with Veery’s wildfire loathing and searing blood, already boiling with magic of his own, to touch that magic within the titan and simply… convince it to do something different.

Convince it to immolate the titan from the inside out.

A laugh bubbles up in his throat. All the magic leaking out of this thing is going right into Veery’s face – an expulsion point, in simple terms, but the titan has no means of shaping that magic, so it is simply raw, unwielded potential.

Veery takes that potential, infuses it with his empowered, hateful Abraxas, and shoves it right back in the hole it comes from.

The titan explodes.

Veery lands roughly, inelegantly, but he lands. His bones hurt. His face hurts. His claws hurt. He’s steaming and a little woozy, but the titan is showering down upon them, nothing more now than scattered scraps of flaming metal, so Veery smiles.

How much more destruction can he cause if he really pushes himself?

He can’t wait to find out. He can’t wait to burn more, reave more, kill more…

“Sadi, no!”

Two words snap Veery, for the moment, out of the haze he only then realizes his mind is in. He reels, head whipping around to follow his swiveling ears towards Caub’s cry. He sees Sadi’s jaws locked tight over Caub’s arm.

His shield arm, not his axe one, but Caub isn’t using his axe to make her let go. In a split-second, he drops his axe, grabs the top of her head, and slams her into his chest, holding her jaws shut, even while his own arm is between her teeth, by pinning her between his body and hand.

Her throaty roars and screams as she thrashes are savage, nothing but hate and a hunger for destruction. She tries to claw him, but he’s holding her too close, so she only manages to graze his side, not even well enough for her claws to pierce his armor.

“What the hell, Sadi?” Claude calls from above. “Veery! Lysithea, report! What’s happening?”

“I don’t know!” Lysithea shouts, a taut edge to her voice all that betrays her cool demeanor. “Veery destroyed that metal beast, but as soon as it was gone, Sadi turned on us!”

“What about Hoarvug? Any eyes on him?”

“He’s here!” Marianne cries. “Someone, please… help!”

Turning his eyes Marianne’s way, Veery sees Hoarvug rooted in place. His claws are fully flexed, sinking into the cracking stone under his feet. He heaves with every breath and thrashes too violently for Marianne to get close despite her best efforts to check on him. He shakes his head, throwing saliva and blood this way and that, then roars.

Veery freezes in place as well when the roar sinks into his heart. It’s the same as before. As five years ago in Conand Tower.

Hoarvug sounds just like that black beast. Like the Lance of Ruin.

Whatever is in the air here, it’s doing to Veery and his friends what was done to the dragons of old.

“Veery!” Claude shouts, but Veery barely hears him for the ringing in his ears. “Please tell me you’ve still got your senses! What’s going on?”

Veery looks up to Claude, feels the sickly hate in his heart, eyes Sadi, sees that Caub has her pinned and frozen with his magic. She’s fighting him, but he’ll buy time. Veery looks to Hoarvug, Veery’s partner, who despite everything he has promised to struggle with, promised to fight with, and Marianne who can do nothing next to him, and Veery rushes in to tackle Hoarvug, claws unsheathed.

The surprise attack catches Hoarvug, allowing Veery to score deep gouges into his shoulder and bring him to the ground. Veery hisses and Hoarvug hisses back, and Veery can do little to control himself right now, and neither can Hoarvug, and so their battle is as feral as they come.

Veery is not averse to gore. His fighting style, up close with his teeth and claws, means he can’t avoid it if he wants to. Still, in battle there is a certain amount of pride in one’s abilities one takes that leads to a sense of elegance if nothing else. Veery’s pride isn’t one of righteousness or anything like that, not like a human knight. He still fights dirty and has no qualms about it. But his pride means that a battle should ideally have some finesse to it, and not devolve into flying limbs and fur in a ball in the dirt.

There is purpose beyond simply scratching the enemy’s eyes out. Direction. A quick kill, or subjugation, or even escape. Not just striking wherever one can to inflict enough hurt.

When Veery rolls through the crumbling stone streets of Fhirdiad with Hoarvug, there is no such finesse. He claws and bites and tears and rips and does everything but go for killing blows because he can at least retain enough of himself to know he doesn’t want to kill Hoarvug.

Hoarvug fights back with all his strength. More strength than Veery, but Veery is faster.

“Veery! Hoarvug, Veery, please…! Please stop!”

Veery does not stop. He will not, cannot, stop.

Veery won’t let Hoarvug become a demonic beast. He won’t let Hoarvug suffer that end. He won’t.

He will purge all traces of this corrupting miasma from Hoarvug and all of Fhirdiad if that’s what it takes, but Hoarvug will not lose to this.

Their battle is frightening – Veery is probably more frightened than anyone else here – but even if they look like nothing more than wild animals, like feral cats tearing each other apart, Veery knows in his heart that this is more important than a territorial dispute or a fight over scraps of food.

“What has gotten into you three? Lysithea, can you-”

“I can’t! Not without hurting them!”

“They’re going to kill each other if we don’t do anything!”

Hoarvug is good, even in a fight like this. Especially in a fight like this. When it’s structured and finessed, Veery can beat Hoarvug, but in a brawl of strength and aggression, he’s on the back foot.

He fights and fights until they’re both mangled. It’s all shallow – mostly – but blood sprays and gets in their mouths and eyes and soaks their fur.

The one thing Veery has is his speed. Speed and timing. He has to play it right, but it’s hard with this urge inside him to rip and tear. When he flinches, trying to fight his own destructive feelings, Hoarvug manages to get his teeth around Veery’s throat.

For a terrifying, heart-stopping moment, Veery thinks he’s going to bite down and put an end to Veery right there. For a moment, Veery thinks this is the end of the line for him.

But Hoarvug does not. Luna, cast carefully and cut off abruptly before Hoarvug can get caught up and twisted in it, tears Hoarvug off of Veery.

Too late. Lysithea’s spell is too late. Veery feels the bite on his neck and knows she’s too late. But he also knows he’s still alive. Despite everything, Hoarvug has the chance to and does not kill Veery.

Someone is screaming. Maybe a lot of people are screaming. But Veery sees only Hoarvug there in front of him, recovering from his sudden flight. Likewise, Hoarvug zeroes in immediately on Veery. Red eyes meet golden. Golden like the sun.

They clash once more, rearing up to sink their claws into each other, hissing and growling and roaring in a frenzy. Hoarvug throws Veery into the stone beneath them, Veery knocks Hoarvug into a splintering tree. Hoarvug uses his colossal strength to pin Veery on his back, leans in once more to bite Veery’s neck, but Veery nips at his nose, all he can do but enough, and in the split-second surprise when Hoarvug closes his jaw, Veery snaps forward lightning-quick and clamps his own jaws down on Hoarvug’s muzzle.

It’s a lot easier to keep a pair of jaws shut than it is to pry them open, so even though Hoarvug is stronger than Veery, he’s helpless to open his mouth even a little.

Veery has killed moose this way before. Suffocating them by biting down on their muzzle, closing their mouth and nose. If he doesn’t let go, he can kill Hoarvug the same way.

It’d be easy to just not let go. They’re too close for either of their claws to find the other, laying with their bodies pressed flat together, so their teeth are all that’s left to them, and Hoarvug will quickly lose strength without oxygen.

“What are you doing, Veery? We don’t want to hurt you!”

Veery wants to hurt them. He wants to sink his fangs into their flesh and feel their bones break. He wants to taste their blood and snag his claws on their guts. The pull, the visceral resistance of a body trying to stay together – so much less than one would think – calls to him. He wants them to suffer.

Veery despises humans. But he does not hate Hoarvug. He has something else in mind for Hoarvug, else he’d never jump into such a terrible battle in the first place.

“Wait! I said hold, Claude! Believe in him!”

This corrupting miasma is a poison. Nothing more. A poison of the mind and soul, perhaps, rather than of the body, but it is a poison, nonetheless. Therefore, if Veery can reach inside of Hoarvug, if he can tune Restore, shape it to function as he needs, and burn that poison out the same way as he does the poison in the Sealed Forest, then Hoarvug should return to his senses.

Hoarvug’s heart should be safe from Agartha. Then he’ll just have to repeat the process with Sadi.

Albinean magics focus on the mind, Fódlander magics focus on the body. To heal the body, Veery has to purge the poison from Hoarvug’s heart. To heal the mind, Veery must purge it from his soul.

Agell believe the soul resides in the heart.

Veery opens his heart to Hoarvug as he has done a hundred times before. He is met with feral, unthinking rage, hate, everything he’s come to expect from the dragon Crest Stones in Fódlan. But Hoarvug’s heart is open to him. As it always is. Veery shapes his spell in his mouth, based on the same one that puts Dimitri to sleep, a spell designed to put the patient to sleep so that the seer can practice their magic without harming their patient, or being at risk of their patient harming them. A precursor to as much healing as can be done to the mind.

Without even letting go, Veery pushes onward, afraid that if Hoarvug falls completely asleep his heart will close to Veery, and he does not know if he can break in like Sothis almost does to him five years ago.

(He knows he does not want to try.)

He dives deep into Hoarvug’s soul, mingles as closely as he possibly can, feeling every ounce of pain, weariness, confusion, love… everything in Hoarvug’s heart. And when he’s as deep as he can go, when he and Hoarvug may not even be different people anymore, but one soul alone, Veery boils over all the indignation and rebellion in both their souls and burns away everything that does not belong.

“Goddess protect us…”

When this flame that Veery lights catches, there is no more shadow to hide in. There is no more dark to slither in. They burst into glorious, blazing, rainbow light, and their soul calms.

They feel like themselves again.

Veery knows that what he’s done, purging them both, is nothing more than a stop-gap measure. As Caub says, he’s given them an axe to fight this miasma with, bought them more time. They’ll need to find the source soon after the battle ends or else get out of the city and its range before they succumb again, but for now, for this moment, they are themselves again.

Infinitely weary, Veery sighs, releases his hold on Hoarvug’s muzzle, and gives him a long, affectionate lick across his cheek. Hoarvug is already fast asleep.

It takes everything he has and Raphael jumping in to help for Veery to roll Hoarvug off of him and shakily rise to his feet.

Veery isn’t sure he can do that a second time. He knows for certain that he can’t fight more and then do that a second time. For all their sakes, he hopes to any powers that be that everyone else has managed to keep Sadi subdued while he’s been wrangling Hoarvug.

Of course, they haven’t. Sadi is an agell, after all, and her loathing runs deeper even than Hoarvug’s. Several allied soldiers, countless Imperial soldiers, and maybe even some rebelling citizens get caught in her path.

Sadi is usually the more controlled between her and Hoarvug – maybe the most controlled of the three of them – but with this corruption in her heart, she is easily the most savage. Under normal circumstances, Hoarvug would not hesitate to kill humans. He’ll even take joy in it.

Sadi revels in it. Humans deserve to suffer and die, not because they are human and lesser than the prideful agell, but because they are cruel, unjust beings who should not exist in the first place. Beings who would skin her in a heartbeat, use her fur for a rug. Beings who would hunt down the agell for no real reason at all except that they are there. Beings who would murder a cub, who would rob a cub of his mother and father, beings who kill families and act like they are justified.

Beings who start wars and pretend they are saving people.

Hoarvug hates humans – he has to admit, even Veery hates humans – but Sadi… for Sadi, it’s personal. That kind of hate is something altogether different.

The battlefield is a bloodbath. Sadi’s fur, normally blue, so beautiful, is as red as Veery’s. Red is all Veery sees anymore. He’s so tired of it.

He pads through the pools of red towards Sadi’s rampage, following the bodies left in her wake. It’s slow, so slow, but it’s all he can manage. Lysithea is at his side, Raphael awkwardly tries to support him, even Claude hovers close, eyes reluctant to leave Veery long enough to peer up at Sadi ahead.

Veery is lucky it’s not so far.

Caub grimaces, but stays with Hoarvug, though his eyes never leave Veery’s back. Marianne sees a healer with Hoarvug already and helps Lysithea look over Veery as they walk, unable to convince him to stop.

Sadi… is Sadi larger than normal? Veery can’t quite tell. All he sees is the red and Sadi and he needs to do something because he can. He’s the only one that can.

(Sadi will never accept help from a human, even if they could help her.)

Bristling fur and flashing claws and teeth are all there is of Sadi. She is faster even than Veery, a blur of death and blood cleaving through the humans ahead of them.

Veery gets close enough, then plants his paws and roars.

No matter what state she’s in, she cannot possibly ignore him.

Icy eyes fall upon him. She stalks forward, towards him and the humans around him, but she does not attack.

Hoarvug is Veery’s partner. Hoarvug is the one Veery has promised to struggle together with, and Hoarvug made that same promise long before Veery accepted or returned it. But their relationship is, at its core, strife. They love each other dearly, but they have no qualms testing who is stronger in combat.

Sadi, however…

They never speak it aloud, and Veery can’t honestly say he returns her feelings about him, but they have shared hearts enough that they both know where they stand.

Sadi, even in the deepest throes of madness, could never harm her cub.

She stands, frozen in place, as Veery approaches. The humans around him drop back, sensing something significant or perhaps simply hesitant to approach the blood-stained beast before them, so when he reaches her, he’s alone with her in their little bubble of ash and blood on the battlefield.

He bumps his head into hers, pushes against her neck, purrs, and opens his heart up to her.

And when they become one, just like with Hoarvug, Veery sets them alight.

#write #fanfiction #FE Fanfiction #Fire Emblem Three Houses #fe3h

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benbamboozled · 2 years

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I’m just gonna come right out and say it…

Dick Grayson, on a character level, did not need a “fix-it” for the original Nightwing #93 arc—ESPECIALLY not one that was just a shallow retread but now with extra 0 emotional stakes, 0 build up, and a pastede on yay happy ending.

#dick grayson #nightwing #cw: rape #discussion further below #this may be controversial.#i know a lot of people dislike that arc and how far it went.#and also Devin Grayson’s comments on it.#(which is fair.)#and Devin Grayson generally.#HOWEVER.#as a completely objective third party observer with no personal interest in the matter…#(meaning *disclaimer disclaimer this is my own personal opinion disclaimer disclaimer*)#i think this was HUGE for Dick Grayson as a character and Nightwing as a hero.#and a real fix-it would be the narrative FULLY ACKNOWLEDGING that Dick Grayson was raped.#and to stop having dude writers sweep it under the rug because ‘things like that don’t happen to Dick Grayson.’#because I think that’s where a lot of the in-company and dude fans’ antipathy comes from—#…the very concept that Dick Grayson could be a victim in that way…#is abhorrent to them on a level that they don’t usually experience.#and so they try to write over it awkwardly by treating it like it was consensual.#which…I shouldn’t have to explain why that’s a terrible way to handle it.#or—in this case—it is just written over entirely and replace with the equivalent of those ‘and then everybody clapped!’ stories.#but I think that’s a disservice to Dick Grayson as a character and to comics as a storytelling medium.#not to mention that…#if you divorce the current issue from the original number 93 arc…#IT’S A REALLY FUCKING POINTLESS STORY.#dick Grayson’s identity is revealed! oh wait it’s fine blockbuster dies and he and Barbara kiss.#okay????#what was the purpose of that?!#SIGH.#comics are bad and i hate them

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eyelessfog · 2 years

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Conversations I Won’t Have

Summary: Sausage copies the way she holds her teacup, even though he feels like he should be lifting his pinky. It feels fancier, and shouldn’t he be fancy for a God? She doesn’t seem to care, so he guesses it’s alright. He takes a sip, and it tastes like sunflower seeds and pools warmly in his chest. He blows on the surface of the tea. “Who are you?” He wants to say. He says nothing at all.

---

Sausage dreams often. Nearly every night he goes to sleep, he dreams of the old kingdom, or of Bubbles, or of Eddie, or of his mother. He dreams of familiar things - of moments that happened, but with a twist that only dreams can give.

So, with that in mind, maybe this dream isn’t terribly weird. It’s a dream of a familiar thing, though it’s just as unfamiliar as it is familiar, and-

Well. He’s not too sure how to explain how he feels about someone he’s only known in visions, and who’s also a God, and is also also maybe his friend in one timeline or another. Having visions is a very complicated situation. He quite wishes it would stop.

He’s sitting at a small table - the type someone would put out in a garden, with those pretty metal designs under glass - in a folding chair, with a small tray of pastries in front of him, and a tea cup in his hand. There should not be a teacup in his hand.

“Hello, Sausage,” says someone who he recognizes, and someone who is a Goddess, and someone who is his friend. She looks strange, because her hair is brown, but when she tilts her head to look at him, it’s blond instead, and she’s taller than he knows she should be, but she’s also too tall to be sitting at the table with him, except she seems to be sitting in her own folding chair perfectly fine, and she’s wearing a dress he recognizes from the statue and from the wall carving, but if he thinks about it, it really doesn’t look like the statue or wall carving at all, other than the colour scheme, and-

“My head hurts,” he wants to say.

“Hello,” he says.

She nods at him, and keeps eye contact with him while she takes a sip of her tea, her hand wrapped delicately around the handle. Sausage copies the way she holds her teacup, even though he feels like he should be lifting his pinky. It feels fancier, and shouldn’t he be fancy for a God?

She doesn’t seem to care, so he guesses it’s alright. He takes a sip, and it tastes like sunflower seeds and pools warmly in his chest. He blows on the surface of the tea. “Who are you?” He wants to say. He says nothing at all.

“It’s been a while since I’ve last seen you,” she says. Sausage realizes that he doesn’t actually know what her face looks like, even though he’s staring directly at her.

“It hasn’t been that long, actually,” Sausage says. “It was like... a week since I visited the catacombs.”

“Oh, well. That was how long it’s been since you last saw me. I, however, have been waiting a while.” She smiles, and he doesn’t know how he knows that, because she must have a mouth, but he’s pretty sure he’s looking at her face, and she does not have a mouth. “That is, of course, barring the you that’s sleeping on my couch.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Sausage doesn’t ask.

“Of course,” Sausage agrees instead.

She looks mildly disturbed now, which doesn’t make sense, because he can’t see her face, and only knows that she’s tilted her head a little bit, which could convey a lot of emotions, actually, and- well, you get the gist.

“You seem very mild right now, Sausage. You aren’t usually.”

“I’m well known for my calmness, actually,” Sausage says.

She laughs. Like, really, actually laughs, and throws her head back, a hand coming up to cover her face. “That is very not true,” she says, once she’s stopped laughing.

Sausage pouts, but some part of him wants to argue. Not because she’s wrong, no, but because she shouldn’t know this. “Why do you know this about me?” He doesn’t ask. He wants to though. He takes another sip of his tea. It tastes like chamomile now. It’s still warm.

“You’re free to take dessert, you know. It tastes good, I promise. I’ve had a lot of practice.” She smiles, like there’s an inside joke that he should know, and he smiles back, though he knows it doesn’t look real.

“I bet,” he says. “A lot of time to use, when you’re a God, I guess.” He grabs a brownie, and she frowns.

“That too, I suppose.” She places her teacup down, and leans on her hand. “Speaking of Gods, how’s Joel?”

“Oh, uh. He’s doing pretty good. Made a new temple, last I saw him. He’s been very sweet to me, but Hermes said that they get kinda sad when the first thing he asks about is the gift I send him. All around a nice father, but a little greedy.” Sausage shrugs, but he’s smiling. “I think that’s his only big flaw.”

“And he’s still teasing-?” she asks.

Sausage blinks. “Who’s the Codfather?” he almost asks, except she hadn’t just said that. She’d said- she’d said-

“Yeah,” he agrees. “The sheriff has been bullied by... everyone, really. Fwhip has been super on his side, but that comes with being deputy, I guess. Did you hear about the court case?”

She seems delighted. “I did not! Oh, what happened?”

“Well, Joel designed a couple toys that look like the sheriff - he’s been making jokes about Jimmy being a toy for a while now-”

“Oh, I don’t like that. He should stop.” She sounded a little commanding now, like this was something she was going to bring up to him. Or maybe he was supposed to bring it up to Joel? He wasn’t too sure, actually.

Sausage shrugs noncommittally. “Well he made a plush toy about it. They’re cute, if you ignore the whole copyright thing, so I bought a couple for Hermes. But anyway, Jimmy decided, yeah, this is copyright, so he brought it to court, which was in the Goblands. Fwhip was his lawyer too. And they got Pixl to be the judge, which was cool.”

“Pixl is cool,” she agrees. There’s something in her voice, like she was remembering something, and it was a little funny. Or maybe a little sad? Which made it funny. Or something.

Honestly, could she stop being mysterious and make him keep thinking about what she was thinking about? Or, better yet, stop coming into his dreams and visions? It was only twice, so far, he supposed, but that was more than anyone else had been, and Oli had only been in his visions once, and he’d met Oli before he appeared in his vision, so it was less mysterious and still annoying and- Hm. He really wished he didn’t have visions.

“Pix is cool,” he repeats. “Um, but, yeah, Joel and Fwhip both bribed him? But they were of equal value, apparently - the things they were bribing him with - which were a small emerald block and a small emerald ore block-”

She bursts out laughing, but waves at him to continue. “He would!” she gasps. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, go on.”

“...And then Joel didn’t have a lawyer. And Joel knows nothing about laws and courts because the whole law thing is very Jimmy, and the whole court thing is very Pixl, apparently, and Joel’s a God so I guess it’s whatever to him? But that really wasn’t helping his case, so he lost the case, but then he, at some point, told Pixl that they were going to do a second case, that argued that Jimmy was a toy, so then Jimmy and Fwhip ran away.” Sausage hums. Takes a sip of his tea. “He mentioned that he accidentally called Jimmy a boy toy while he was leaving.”

“Pardon?!” she asks, voice high pitched. It was clear that she had just picked up her tea to drink from, and was quite thankful that she had not taken a sip quite yet.

“Well,” Sausage says. “Toy boy and boy toy are very easy words to flip flop.”

“I- I suppose,” she agrees, brows furrowing. Even though she did not seem to have eyebrows.

Noticing that he wasn’t seeing things was getting exhausting. And this was a dream.

Or, actually, was it? He wasn’t too sure, and he- well, he didn’t really know what he wanted, but he was getting a little more comfortable with what he wanted, as he spent more time in this place.

“Is this a dream?” he wants to ask.

“Is this a dream?” he asks.

He doesn’t know what face she’s making. He can’t see her face at all, and to reflect that, he doesn’t know what face she’s making. This is how it’s supposed to be. He likes it even less.

“It is.” Her voice is even, and her arms are stiff, and she isn’t green anymore, but she still has the gold. She’s grey now - not just her dress, but her skin too. She stands, and her halo (when did she get a halo? She had one, at some point, but he doesn’t remember seeing it, just notices it’s absence now that it’s gone) has disappeared, replaced instead by chipping metal in a net that’s covered in gold paint. She has a black wing now, on the other side, and she’s walking towards him, and the table is gone and so is his chair, and he didn’t see them disappear, he just sees that they aren’t there anymore.

“Sausage,” she says, and her voice is grainy, and there’s static in his ears, and he doesn’t remember what her voice sounded like, but it wasn’t this. “I’m sorry, Sausage.” She walks over to him, and with every step, she changes, more stony, more like the statue, and less like her.

She takes his hands in her own, and he looks into her eyes, and sees that her face is gone. Chipped, like someone took a chisel to her face and hacked, and his breath pauses in his chest.

“When you ask me what I know, when you ask me why you’re dreaming - when you break the wall - that’s when it all comes crumbling down. I couldn’t warn you, but you knew, and I know you knew, because we’ve played this scene so many times. Sausage, I’m sorry, and I’ll come back, and we’ll talk again, and you’ll tell me a new story I’ve seen before, and I’m sorry I couldn’t help you, and I’m sorry I can’t help you, and I’m sorry-” she freezes, and he can feel the moment it happens. Her hands become cold as stone, and he can’t free his hands from her grip. He’s going to wake up soon - in a second - and he knows it.

But for that second that feels like forever, his hands are clasped between hers in something like a prayer, and he’s kneeling, and she’s larger than she’d been for their entire talk, towering over him, and she looks like an angel. She is a God, she is an angel, and she is stone, and for a moment he is praying to her.

It doesn’t fade to black - that doesn’t explain how quickly everything darkens, then lightens again. He blinks, and sees nothing, then again, and his eyes are watering as he stares at the wall of his bedroom.

He doesn’t know why he’s crying, is the thing, but there’s an image of the angel, of the Goddess that Pixl has been studying burned into his brain, and he buries his head into his pillow and tries to forget.

Just as he’s done every other time he wakes up crying to the image of a Goddess he’s never known.

#[lore texts]#[written in stone]#ummm heart emoji i dont. its like. conversations we dont have. things i want to say but cant because itll break the immersion #times i do say it because it's too much but i know its a mistake that ive made over and over and i want to talk with you again because youre #so. so familiar.#and when i wake up itll be like you never existed at all. <- boys with memory problems handshake ME with memory problems #empires smp #pearlescentmoon #mythicalsausage #empires season 2 #empires season two #empires pearl #empires sausage #meow. have a good day everyone im gonna go think about conversations almost had

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cjsinkythoughts · 4 years

Text

Rocks, Shoulders, and Ears

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 3501

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Major Angst in this one, guys, Loads of Feels (sorry not sorry), John Walker being a douche (I really don’t like the guy)

A/N: I’m SO SORRY! I promise I was planning on it being shorter, but I went a little overkill with the angst! There’s just so many feelings and not enough space in my heart and soul, so I had to pour them out here! You get to see more of Reader and Sam’s relationship in this one and there’s major Bucky Feels towards the end (in my defense, this is based on the Couples Therapy half of the episode).

I’m really hoping we get to see Bucky go to Louisiana next episode! I’m holding out for it! I have a few ideas that include Sarah, but I need the episode! Ugh! Now we have to wait a whole ‘nother week! I really shouldn’t write three chapters on one episode in one day. I just couldn’t help myself!

Anyways! Please enjoy this part and thank you so much for all your support! Seriously, it’s meant so much to me, especially after the week I’ve had! If you haven’t checked out the previous parts, my FATWS Series Masterlist is HERE, so please go read those first. Like always, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Enjoy, babes!

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

The last thing you remembered was falling asleep in Bucky’s arms after walking a few miles. And a hospital in DC wasn’t exactly what you preferred waking up to, but it’s what happened. Turned out, not only was your shoulder dislocated and your thigh was strained, but you had a mild concussion. Your arm was in a sling and your palm, which you had completely forgotten about after you wrapped it while on Bucky’s back, was wrapped properly. Luckily, your thigh wasn’t too bad, but they wanted to put you on crutches, which you refused immediately.

You had to get out of that building. You had no idea where the guys went, which was weird because you were sure they’d never leave you alone. Especially in a hospital.

You quickly snuck your way through the halls after grabbing your bag which - thank God - was left on the seat besides your bed and changing into an extra pair of clothes.

You tried calling Bucky’s phone, the one he had specifically for you, which he always always answered. He even made an excuse to go to the bathroom once when you accidentally called in the middle of a therapy session. Nothing. You called the number four times before trying Sam’s phone.

It clicked on the first try.

“Hey. Listen, sorry for leaving-”

“Where the hell are you?”

You heard him sigh. “I was just about to explain, so hang on a second there. You weren’t waking up, probably because that concussion you forgot to mention to us-”

“In my defense, I didn’t know.”

“Sure you didn’t.” You rolled your eyes, throwing your free hand up, exasperated. “Anyways, Bucky wanted me to meet someone, we’ll talk about that when you inevitably get here, put we had a bit of trouble and Bucky was arrested-”

“What?!”

“Chill your pants, Y/L/N. Just listen. We’re in Baltimore. I’ll text you the address. Get here soon and I’ll explain the whole thing. We’ve been here for a couple hours, but there’s people on their way and we’re getting everything situated right now.”

“Okay. Fine. But you’re in trouble.”

“Don’t I know it, babe. Now hurry your cute little ass here. We’ve got stuff to talk about.”

*****************

The ride from DC to Baltimore is usually an hour or so, but you’ve got resources, especially in the nation’s capital, and riding the bike you got, being able to go way over the speed limit? You got there in half the time. Being an Avenger really does have its perks.

The moment you got there, you hopped off the bike, not even bothering to turn it off, and stormed into the precinct. You headed straight over to the desk, but a pair of hands caught you by your uninjured arm before you could make a scene.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Sam spoke softly, squeezing your bicep gently. “He’s okay, alright?”

“Why is he-”

“He missed his court-mandated therapy session.” Sam informed you, pulling you over to where he had been sitting previously. “There was a warrant out for his arrest. They had to bring him in, but it’s fine. His therapist’s been contacted. She should be here any minute to get him out.”

Your head fell back at his words. His therapy. How could you forget? You let Bucky complain to you about it and played along sometimes, but you really did think it was good for him and you tried supporting him. Yet you made him miss it and now he’s in trouble.

“Hey. Y/N. Look at me.” You found Sam’s worried eyes, his hand coming up to hold the side of your neck. “He’s okay. He’ll be out in just a bit. It’s fine.”

“It’s my fault, Sam.”

“No. It’s not. He’s a grown ass man who made the decision to skip.”

You shook your head, holding his wrist for something to anchor you down. “No, Sammy. I brought him along. I should’ve been more responsible-”

“I know we’ve joked around about you being in charge and stuff, but…you know it’s not all on your shoulders, right?” Sam tilted his head slightly, eyebrow pinched in confusion making his eyes narrow.

You turned your head, not wanting to look at him. You didn’t need another set of deep eyes to fall into. “Sammy…I promised him I’d look after you.”

“I know. And that’s fine. But looking after us - looking after him - doesn’t mean you have to be there to hold his hand and take the fall for him. He’s not a child. Hell, he’s a hundred years old. Tell me you understand that.”

Licking your lips, you closed your eyes and shook your head again. “I-I can’t-”

“Is that why you’re obsessed with finding Wanda?”

You frowned at his question, eyes snapping to his. “I’m worried about her, Sam.”

“I am too, but she can handle herself. And if she doesn’t want to be found, you have to let her be. I know the Avengers were your only family. I know how much Steve meant to you-”

“No.” You pulled away rather harshly, digging your nails into your palms, trying not to cry, ignoring the wound you were irritating. “No, you don’t. How could you understand my feelings for Steve when I don’t understand them myself?”

Sam always had this ability to make anyone feel important, just by looking them in the eye. It was something you always admired about him; the way his smile could light up a room, those warm eyes making everyone’s fears go away. They reminded you of hot chocolate. Something that could soothe your worries, comfort you, warm your very soul from the ice tragedy and heartache tend to big on.

You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry in front of people, but with the way he was looking at you, it was hard to keep the tears from slipping.

“You loved him, Y/N. Why is it so hard for you to see that?”

“I didn’t - I wasn’t in love with him, Sam.” You argued, wiping your cheeks aggressively and turning, crossing your arms defensively.

“What do you call it then?”

It was a rhetorical question, Sam copying your movements and sitting straight to watch for Bucky coming out. A rhetorical question that you didn’t know the answer to. Because you weren’t in love with Steve. No. Maybe you had been, but somewhere along the way he passed your heart to Bucky. So why did it hurt so bad?

You refused to dwell on it anymore, clearing your throat and dabbing at your eyes one more time before changing the topic. “Why are we in Baltimore?”

“Bucky wanted me to meet someone. Isaiah. You know him?” Sam turned back to you, his warm eyes shifting into something else. Suspicion? A bit of anger? Annoyance? You couldn’t tell.

“Isaiah? I don’t think I know any Isaiahs. And definitely not here. Why? Who is he?”

Sam shook his head, eyes darting around the lobby. “We’ll talk about it later.”

You nodded, although now your curiosity had peaked and you wondered who this guy was that made Sam so agitated. While you waited, you felt your eyes drooping and you let your head fall onto Sam’s shoulder, who chuckled.

“You’re still tired? You know you slept for, like, twelve hours, right?”

“I haven’t been sleeping much.”

Sam turned his head to kiss yours. “Y/N, I know you want to care for everyone, but you’ve gotta take care of yourself too.”

“I know.”

“Okay.” And with that, the subject dropped, Sam pulling out his phone while you rested your eyes.

It was another ten minutes or so before Sam’s name was called and the both of you stood up to greet the speaker. A woman, Dr. Raynor. Bucky’s infamous therapist.

And speaking of infamous. The moment you heard his voice, you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping it was just your brain malfunctioning. And then he was walking towards you, calling Bucky ‘Bucky’ like they were old pals and he was saving him from something terrible.

Your face scrunched up as Walker talked about stopping Bucky’s regular therapy sessions. “He’s too valuable of an asset to have him tied up-”

“Don’t call him an asset.” You snapped. “He’s a human being with needs, and therapy-”

“He’s a super soldier with skills that we need.” Walker cut in, making you scowl as he turned back to Raynor.

You scoffed in disbelief at his words, turning on your heel and walking away before he did, heading straight for Bucky, who lifted his right arm, wrapping it around your shoulders once you were close enough.

“Are you okay?” You whispered, closing your eyes and trying to relax in his hold, breathing him in.

“Are you? Should you be walking? What did-”

You shook your head. “I’m fine.”

“Really?”

“Promise.” You sighed out with a nod, squeezing him once more before pulling back as Raynor stepped forwards, ordering Bucky and Sam to do a session with her. You almost laughed when Sam tried refusing, a little chuckle actually leaving your lips when Bucky slumped, dragging his feet like a kid going to the principal’s office.

You followed, Bucky holding the door open for you. “Thanks, Buck.”

“Of course, doll.” He gave a small smile, before walking in after you, Sam letting out a, “hey!” when Bucky shut the door on him, making you roll your eyes. You let the corners of your mouth tick up slightly in amusement. Yes, they annoyed the hell out of you, but you had to admit it was pretty funny sometimes.

“I believe I asked for James and Sam, Ms. Y/L/N.”

“It’s Agent, actually, and I think I’m gonna sit in.”

Raynor narrowed her eyes. “I don’t think-”

“That wasn’t a request.” You threw her words to Sam back at her, making Sam smirk. You shot him a wink as she relented with a sigh.

“Fine. Just as a spectator. Don't interrupt.”

You raise your hands in surrender, slipping around the table to stand in the corner as your fellas sank down into the seats across the table from her.

A small puff of laughter came from you at the lack of response when she asked one of them to start. She shot you a warning look over her shoulder, but you shrugged. You couldn’t help it; it was like all those times back in grade school when a teacher asked for a volunteer to read in a classroom full of rowdy kids and crickets followed.

Once she mentioned the next exercise was used for couples, you had to laugh, making both men shoot you begging pouts.

“Y/N.” Raynor glared at you, so you controlled yourself, gesturing for her to continue.

Her miracle question did work so well, neither of them cooperating well.

She didn’t even bother with you when you started cackling after she mentioned the “soul-gazing exercise” and Bucky thanked her, Sam commenting that he would like this one. You gave a teasing wolf-whistle when they got close, one of Bucky’s thighs between Sam’s and vice versa.

“Doll.” Bucky whined at you.

“Listen here, smartass-”

Raynor cleared her throat, cutting Sam off from finishing his statement towards you. You leaned back against the wall, crossing your arms with a smirk. After all the bickering and side taking they’ve put her through, letting you enjoy this was the least they could do, and they knew it.

Of course, this exercise didn’t work out either. A staring contest. Children. She was best friends with literal children.

But then something happened. Something you never thought would happen. Raynor asked Bucky why Sam aggravated him, and Bucky looked over to you, his eye growing sad in a way they only did when Steve was involved.

“Steve believed in you.” Bucky told him earnestly. “He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield? That is…that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing. So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me.”

You heard his voice crack a little at the end as he slumped down in his seat, you jaw dropping slightly. You listened to the rest of the conversation, catching the way Sam grew irritated again, something that you didn’t previously think was possible, but was happening more and more now.

Why wasn’t Sam talking to you? Why was he holding all this in suddenly? And why…Bucky…he didn’t tell you that. Why didn’t he say anything? How could he ever feel…

But you knew how he could feel like that. Yes, Steve believed in him so much that he tore the Avengers apart for him…but he was the only one willing to do that for him. Yeah, you and Sam and Wanda and Clint, you all joined their side but, being honest, it wasn’t because you believed in Bucky. It was because you believed in Steve. Of course, it was different now. You believed in Bucky with your entire being, and you believed in Sam with your heart and soul, but…did either of them know that? Did they believe you when you told them? Or did you not tell them enough? This whole time you thought you were doing right by Steve - trying you damn hardest to watch out for them. But it obviously wasn’t enough. And that was on you, no matter what Sam said.

You read people. That’s what you’ve always done, that’s what you’d always do. It was the reason you earned your spot on the team. You read people and situations and could figure your way into their heads in a second. Years and years of undercover work taught you how to do that and how to protect yourself while doing so.

So why? How? How did you miss something this big? How did you miss the way Sam was holding onto something? Why did you ignore the vexation in his tone for the last couple weeks? How did you miss that Bucky was hurting that deeply? Why didn’t you do anything more for him?

You left the room before either of the boys, but you heard Sam standing up as you walked out the door.

You should’ve known you weren’t the only one holding things in. Of course they were. The difference is, you were supposed to be their rock, the thing they could hold onto to ground themselves, the shoulder for them to cry on, and the ear lent to them whenever they needed someone to listen. That was your job. It wasn’t their job. Not for you. Your rock - your shoulder, your ear - he left you. And you thought, after all he did for you, if you just returned the favor for his best friends, you’d…you dunno. You’d be closer to him, maybe.

But you couldn’t. Because you weren’t Steve Rogers. And you knew that from the start, but you had to try. You tried. And it wasn’t working. He made it seem so easy when he did it for you. Clearly you didn’t give him enough credit for dealing with all your shit on top of his own.

“Doll.” You didn’t stop walking, needing to get outside for some fresh air. “Doll, hold on. Wait a minute.”

He grabbed your arm as you made it outside, spinning you to face him. “You didn’t tell me.” You spoke quietly, your voice fragile as you stared at him, confusion and hurt in your eyes. Were you really that bad at doing your job? Did you really already fail him? He asked you to do one thing…

“I didn’t…I didn’t want you to deal with my problems.” You opened your mouth, but he shook his head, holding your face between his hands. “I’m not stupid, Y/N. I know something’s going on with you. You’re good at hiding your nightmares at night, but I’m better. You’re jumpier than usual. Quieter. Every time Wanda’s brought up, you turn away. And the other day? On the truck? You froze. I was watching, doll. It was just a second, but you froze. You never freeze.”

“It’s not your job to worry about me, Buck-”

He frowned, tilting his head. “Not my job? Aren’t we friends? Isn’t that what friends do? Or am I just a job to you? I know you promised him to look after me. Is that all I am to you? A responsibility?”

You shook your head vigorously, holding onto his wrists. “No. No, Bucky, I just-”

“Do you think he was wrong about me?”

Salty diamonds ran down your cheeks as you clenched your eyes shut and shook your head. “No.”

“Did you ever believe in me? Did you ever care or was it all just because Steve? Is Steve the only reason you tolerate me?”

“Don’t say that. God, please don’t say that.” You begged quietly, meeting his gaze again. Every beautiful detail was laced with devastation, eyes imploring her to make him feel better. “Of course I believe in you. I have since Wakanda, you know that. Yes, okay, maybe Steve is why I helped you at first, but-but…I care about you, James. So much so that it hurts sometimes. He wasn’t wrong about you. Or Sammy. You both mean so much to me. Okay?”

You watched his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed thickly, nodding slightly. You both simultaneously moved to get closer, him pulling you while you stepped into his chest, arms around his waist. His arms were tight around your shoulder, holding you just as firm as the kiss he planted on your forehead.

Sam came out, planting himself besides you as you pulled away, Bucky wiping your eyes. “I feel better.” He huffed out sarcastically, making you smack him in the arm. “Ow! Yeesh. Women these days.”

The sudden siren of one of the parked police cars made the three of you look over, spotting Walker and Hoskins. You groaned. “Did he see that?”

“Hey,” Bucky caught your jaw between his fingers, shaking his head. “Who cares? It’s between us and us only. Right?” You nodded, making him kiss your forehead again, a whisper of “attagirl” against your skin. You hadn’t heard that from him in a while.

“Gentlemen!” Walker waved them over, nodding at you. “And lady.” The three of you reluctantly walked over, Bucky going to lean on the police car Walker and Hoskins were near and you hopped up to sit on the hood of the police car across from them, Sam besides you.

You got information from Walker, who was once again trying to get you to work with him, but Sam summed it up nicely, explaining that the three of you didn’t have to follow the rules he did. You started to leave, Bucky tucking you under his arms once you slid off the car, when Walker stopped you once more.

“A word of advice, then. Stay the hell out of my way.”

You grumbled under your breath as the faker and his lapdog walked off. “I’m gonna kill him.” You vowed as the three of you started in the other direction. “I swear to God, I’m gonna rip that shield off his back and use it to beat him in that stupid face of his-”

“Down, girl.” Sam jested, flicking your ear. “We need a game plan. What’re we thinking?”

Your eyes narrowed as Bucky piped up, talking about the Isaiah character - who you still didn’t know - before HYDRA entered the equation.

“Absolutely not.” You shook your head, tugging his arm to make him stop once he mentioned Siberia. “Do you remember Siberia? Because if you’re actually suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, we remember Siberia very differently.”

“He’s our best bet-”

“So you’re just going to go sit in a room with this guy?”

Bucky scrunched up his nose. “Ye-yes…”

A beat of silence passed before Sam gave his stamp of approval, but you still disagreed. “There’s no way this’ll end well and I refuse to let you-”

You found your face between Bucky’s hands again. You really wished he’d stop doing that and just ask for your attention. You didn’t mean that, of course. You’d be held by him every second of every day if you could. “Don’t you trust me, doll?”

You licked your lips, looking around the darkened street. This was not a good idea. A bad plan - a terrible plan, really - but, unfortunately, it was the only one you had. “Dammit. I’ve got a really bad feeling about this.” You finally sighed, running a hand through your hair after Bucky let go of you, his eyebrow quirking.

“Is that a yes?”

Sam nodded. “We’re gonna go see Zemo.”

You tugged Bucky’s hand when he nodded back and went to walk after Sam, who started walking around the corner, making him stop. “And yes. I do trust you. With everything I have, Buckaroo.”

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linkspooky · 4 years

Photo

Yuji, Alone.

I have been saying in my past few meta that Yuji has a really unhealthy way of viewing both himself, and his relationships with others. Yuji is excellent at reading the feelings of others and empathizing with them, and at the same time terrible at processing his own emotions, a trait he shares with Geto who he is once again paralleling this chapter by choosing to stew in isolation rather than reach out for support.

Chapter 138 does an excellent job of showing how deep these issues run, which I will explain under the cut.

1. Yuji and Geto

If I were to explain the unhealthy mindset Yuji has by simplifying it down to one sentenence, simply stated it would be “I want to help others, but I don’t want to accept help from other people.”

Both Yuji and Geto are so motivated by empathy they feel like they are responsible for solving other people’s problems, and they often use other people rather than themselves as a reason to move. They’re actually selfless to a fault. In that, it’s a problem in their behavior. They do everything they do for other peope, so they have no idea what they themselves want. If Gojo is someone who has a strong self image, a strong set of beliefs, an idea of what he wants to do to the world, Geto and Yuji are people who try not to think about themselves at all.

Not only does Yuji almost never critically exam his own motivations, but he also doesn’t think of his relationships with other people.

This is something Yaga pointed out as a danger with Yuji’s way of going about things, all the way at the beginning of his arc. If you’re doing it because your grandpa told you so, then is it really something you want to do? When you die, is it going to be your grandpa’s fault too?

Yuji is someone who seems selfless on the surface, and to an extent he is, but just like Geto that’s not all there is to him. It’s something Gojo called out early on, Geto presented himself as someone selfless, motivated entirely by using his powers to protect others, but he was also doing so self righteously.

To clarify what I mean by self righteous, Geto believed that he was doing something because it was the objective right thing to do, but actually it was just his own personal feelings. That’s why after Riko’s death forced him to critically examine himself, he realized he didn’t want to follow the rules of Jujutsu Society.

Both Yuji and Geto pay attention to others, but also have the blinders on in regards to themselves, and that’s the parallel right there. Yuji says he is doing these things for other people, that his number one priority is to save them but that motivation is even deconstructed in the third chapter.

Yuji’s not actually doing this for purely altruistic reasons, but for selfish ones. He wanted to do something that nobody else could do. Yuji’s life was like a vaccuum before this point. He didn’t have any real friends, or anything he wanted to do. Suddenly he had a purpose basically gift wrapped and handed to him on his lap.

Basically, Yuji and Geto both have this schewed way of seeing other people. They thing other people exist to validate their own existences.

To put it simply. If Hidden Inventory Geto helps weak people than he’s valid. If Yuji helps people, then he’s valid.

Not only is the way they view themselves built around how they help other people, but at the same time all of their relationships are built up on this as well. Relationships that are built upon shaky foundations will crumble apart easily when tested.

Geto’s most important relationship was with Gojo, they had an intense chemistry and interaction with one another like they were made for each other. They were both good at naturally balancing each other out, Geto was the one who stood up to Gojo and acted like a tether, and Gojo ackonwledged Geto as his one and only.

However, the relationship was also built on the idea that Gojo needed Geto. Geto was only able to view his relationships with other people in that way. Geto, wants to take care of people, wants to help people. However, eventually, he was left behind by Gojo who no longer needed him as a partner in combat. On top of that, Geto awoke to a higher purpose in ridding the world of cursed energy. Geto wants to be needed by somebody in the same sense that Yuji does, so for Geto at least being needed to save the whole world in his eyes, was just more important than maintaining his relationship with Gojo.

Which is why both Geto and Yuji’s relationships fall apart. They are great at making relationshisps, but not at maintaining them. Attention is drawn to the fact that the trio has great chemistry with each other and get along well, but they’re also terrible at communicating with each other.

"The seats... in my life... How should I put this? I don't want my heart to be affected by people who don't have a place there. Does that sound cold? Well, I guess there are also guys like you who brings their own chair and takes a seat." Translation by Miho.

Almost literally, I don’t want anyone who’s not a part of my life to try to talk to me or tell me what to do. Also the reference that Yuji is kind of different because Yuji just kind of walked into her life unannounced and invited himself there (this is how Yuji forms relationships with everyone.)

All three of them go behind each other’s backs and keep secrets from one another. All three of them avoid direct confrontation, Nobara even says she doesn’t really want anyone else even trying to tell her how to live her life. The Origin of Obedience arc shows that Nobara, Yuji and Megumi are all good at fighting together as a team, but also questioning if they have a healthy friendship outside of that?

Any relationship takes work, confrontation, arguments and even just plain old talking about things. However, someone who is primarily insecure in their relationships will not be able to do things. Couples shouldn’t only argue, but couples who never argue is just as unhealthy. If you are so afraid that one argument is going to end a relationship, then your relationship was fragile to begin with.

Yuji and Geto experience conditional relatinoships. In the sense that, they are only allowed to have friends, if they are helpful to those friends. They themselves are never allowed to ask for help. It’s true that Gojo was kind of blind to Geto’s faults, but also Geto would have never asked for help. Gojo could not see, and Geto deliberately hid things from them.

Geto always makes his relationships on the condition that he is needed. When Gojo grew more independent, Geto took that as a sign that Gojo didn’t need him anymore and deliberately started to pull away.

Because, Geto isn’t ever allowed to be the one who needs someone else.

2. Avoidant Attachment

This is just a personal theory of mine, but I think Yuji’s issues might even center around the psychological idea of attachment theory. Especially it’s since deliberately mentioned to Junpei, that Yuji never met his mother.

Attachment theory is a complex idea, but basically it states that attachment to other people, that is the idea to form healthy relationships with family members, friends, romantic partners is learned instead of naturally present in us. It’s a skill people develop in their formative years.

Those who show patterns of problematic attachment in childhood will continue the behavior into adulthood unless it’s corrected, because attachment is a skill that’s developed the same as anything else. Of the four categories, Yuji and Geto most resemble this one.

Avoidant attachment: Children with an avoidant attachment tend to avoid parents or caregivers, showing no preference between a caregiver and a complete stranger. This attachment style might be a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers. Children who are punished for relying on a caregiver will learn to avoid seeking help in the future.

Which goes further to explain how they can be so empathic towards other people, and yet the same time completely unable to maintain close relationships with them. It’s because, they avoid people at the same time. They don’t seek out help when they need it, because, deep down they view themselves as unworthy of the help.

Geto did not immediately break after the trauma of losing Riko, it was the year of isolation after that where he slowly was consumed by his regrets. Geto got worse and worse over a period of time because he couldn’t handle his trauma in any healthy way, until he just completely snapped.

During that time he asked himself the same questions over and over again, but Geto wasn’t able to find any kind of healthy answer to his questions because, he didn’t reach out for anybody. It wasn’t just the trauma, it was the behavior after the trauma, the decision to isolate himself for over a year. No one does well in isolation. You need other people to grow or develop. If anything Geto stagnated. Geto’s central flaw was his self-righteousness. Rather than realizing he was wrong and trying to change this flaw of his, he just doubles down and becomes even more self righteous. He goes from believing he’s responsible for protecting all the weak people, to believing he’s a superior being tasked with eliminating all the weak people in the world. So, it’s not really that Geto changed, moreso that he stagnated because he cut off all his relationships with other people.

And isn’t Yuji doing the exact same thing right now? Yaga even points out this similaritiy between Geto and Yuji, that they try to carry every regret and burden they have on their own.

It’s not out of selflessness that they do this though, but rather insecurity. Geto didn’t come to Gojo with his problems, because he wanted to be the strongest alongside Gojo he didn’t want to be weak. He was deliberately avoiding Gojo.

I think it’s important to establish that Yuji wasn’t abandoned by his friends this chapter. Yuji is alone, because he chose to be alone. He’s alone because he’s avoiding both of his friends, because he’s so, so afraid the friendship will end because it’s based entirely on the condition that he be a helpful, good person.

It’s true that Yuji is genuinely worried about his friends getting hurt because of him, but look at his choices. He’s not really tackling the problem in a healthy way. He’s doing everything he can to avoid the problem, isolating himself, and just trying not to think about things. He could try to talk with Megumi and find a solution, but he’s not doing that because he’s insecure in his attachment to others.

I think his reaction to Choso pretty clearly illustrates this too. Yuji isn’t around his friends because he doesn’t want to be around them. Which is tragic, because Yuji is holding himself responsible for the mass murder which isn’t really his fault. However, Yuji saw his relationship with both Nobara and Megumi as conditional to begin with. He can only be friends with people he can help, and he can never receive help from them. It’s unhealthy to start with because relationships go both ways. Yuji is also, completely unresponsive to Choso.

Yes. Choso suddenly walking to him and delcaring them brothers is really weird. I don’t expect Yuji to just suddenly start getting along with him right away.

At the same time, Choso explains what the unconditional love between family is between Yuji, and Yuji just doesn’t get it, because he either hasn’t experienced enough of it, or his grandpa the only person that ever unconditionally loved him is gone. Yuji can’t understand Megumi’s love for him is unconditional,. because from the beginning he sees all relationships as conditional.

Yuji and Choso are facing opposite direcitons because they’re opposites. Choso is willing to hurt complete strangers too, but his love for his family is unconditional and he will do anything for them. Yuji will help complete strangers, but, he doesn’t really understand unconditional love, and even his love with his closest friends has a few conditions.

Which is why someone who appears on the surface as such a friendly guy who makes friends everywhere he goes, can call himself “a loner” because in Yuji’s mind he is. He doesn’t have friends, he has people who need him.

Which is just incredibly sad because Yuji doesn’t understand this. Yuji isolates himself thinking he’s doing it for the sake of his friends, but neither Megumi nor Nobara would want him to be alone.

#yuji itadori #megumi fushigoro #kugisaki nobara #suguru geto #choso #jjk meta #jujutsu kaisen meta #jjk 138 #jujutsu kaisen 138 #jujutsu kaisen

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jaehyunfirstlove · 3 years

Text

You decide you’re ready to have a baby. The catch? You’re not seeing anyone at the moment. Enter your best friend, Jeong Jaehyun. Will he be the answer to your dilemma?

Pairing: best friend!Jaehyun x f.reader

Genre: best friends to fwb to lovers, fluff, angst, smut (18+ only)

Warnings: mentions of infertility, pregnancy and childbirth, sperm donors, IVF (in vitro fertilization), fertility drugs, mood swings, fingering, unprotected sex, cum play, nipple play, breeding kink, oral sex (f.receiving), dirty talk, pregnant sex, rough sex

Word count: 10.6k

Taglist: @jaehyunnie77 @mrg-jjh @keeach (send me a message if you want to be tagged in future fics)

A/N: this was only meant to be a short fic but it morphed into this monstrosity. I tried to tag for everything but if I missed anything please let me know. Inspired by the fact that Jaehyun wanted to be a teen dad (but they are not teens in this story, just thought I’d make that clear :) Also please excuse my unimaginative name for the baby, I’m terrible at coming up with names lol

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional so please excuse any inconsistencies.

“So what have you got planned for today?” your best friend, Jaehyun, asked you as he took a sip of his coffee, shielding his eyes from the sun’s rays coming through the window of the cafe.

It was your weekly Saturday brunch, at which Jaehyun would show up, nine times out of ten, hungover, wearing dark sunglasses, a baseball cap, a black t-shirt and sweats. There was never a deviation from this outfit, even on the times when he came not hungover.

“Oh not much, just an appointment at the fertility clinic this afternoon.”

Jaehyun paused, as you took a sip of your latte. You couldn’t see the look in his eyes through the sunglasses but his fork had stopped midway to his mouth. It hovered in the air, scrambled eggs sliding off of it and plopping onto the plate below.

“The where?” he asked, tipping his head to look at you above the top of his sunglasses.

“Fertility clinic. Looking into getting a sperm donor.”

The matter-of-fact way you were saying everything seemed to shock him, his fork still not moving towards his mouth or back onto the plate.

“Excuse me, a sperm donor?”

You put your coffee cup down, and sighed. “I don’t know why you’re so shocked, I told you before I wanted to have a baby.”

“I thought you were joking!”

“Well I wasn’t!” you don’t know why you were being so indignant, maybe because all you’d heard from everyone around you, from your parents to your doctor to the lady that sold you pretzels from a street cart, was negative. You shouldn’t have a baby without a partner, was the main point of contention, but how was that going to happen if you weren’t seeing anyone, and hadn’t had a serious relationship in almost a year.

“But a sperm donor, Y/N?” he asked, after mulling over what you just said.

“Yeah? What’s wrong with it?” you countered. You were so sick of everyone around you criticizing your plan.

“I don’t know, what if he’s like, a serial killer or something?”

“They do psychiatric assessments on everyone who donates.”

“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have an undiagnosed illness-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Jaehyun!” you’d had it, letting out an exasperated huff, “Do you have a better idea? Do you want to be my sperm donor?”

You weren’t at all serious, you were just mainly upset and unfortunately, taking it out on him, but he actually sat back in his chair, eyebrows raised, as if he were contemplating it.

“Anyway, forget it. I don’t need your approval. I just hoped that you’d support me, of all people.” You couldn’t help but pout. He was your best friend and he’d stuck with you when no one else had. You may have said you didn’t need his approval but deep down you wanted him to be on your side.

He leaned forward, took his sunglasses off and looked you in the eye. “Of course I support you,” he said sincerely. “If this is what you want, then I’m with you one hundred percent of the way.”

You smiled, your heart feeling lighter, and just as you took a sip of your latte he said the one thing that would complicate your life forever.

“But I get to be that sperm donor.”

You spluttered, almost choking on your latte. “I wasn’t being at all serious, Jaehyun,” you chuckled nervously, but one look at his face and you could see he was being completely serious.

“I just don’t like the idea of some stranger being the father of your child,” he said quietly, looking down at his plate of food while he said it, “might as well be me, right?” He looked up at you hopefully.

You didn’t know what to say. This was your best friend, the one you’d grown up with, the one you’d catch tadpoles with, the one you’d drag to the playground with you, the one you told all your innermost secrets to. The one who knew you best. Didn’t it make sense then, that he would be the one to share this with you, in the end? You looked at his face; open, sincere, beautiful. You knew he was attractive, with the trail of broken hearts he’d leave in his wake, but you hadn’t really looked at him in that way before. Suddenly he was a new person to you, and now you didn’t know how to feel.

“Jaehyun, I-” you rubbed your hands together nervously, still unsure of what to say, “it’s a big thing, you know? This will change the rest of your life.”

He nodded, but there was no trace of hesitation in his actions. In fact, he looked as sure as anything. “Yeah that’s a given. But I’ve thought about it and I’m ready.”

“Jaehyun, you’ve literally thought about it for, like, the few minutes we’ve been sitting here.”

He smiled, “Actually I’ve thought about it for a long time.”

“About being a sperm donor?”

He laughed. “No, not specifically a sperm donor. But it’s a start,” he shrugged. “So what do I have to do?”

---

Jaehyun accompanied you to the appointment at the fertility clinic, where they outlined the plan and what was required of the two of you. It didn’t sound too bad, but you did find that having Jaehyun there to support you was really helpful. Every time the doctor explained something that made you nervous you would look over at him and he would smile confidently at you, sometimes squeezing your hand if you looked particularly concerned.

It was the fertility drugs they gave you, that threw your world into chaos. They had warned you of the side effects but you didn’t think it would be this bad. Your mood swung back and forth like a pendulum, one moment you were happy, the next you were crying into your cereal. You were irritable more than you had ever been in your life, and constantly snapped at every little thing. Not to mention that your breasts were sore and you had nausea, making you feel like you were pregnant already. You felt bad for Jaehyun when he was around for your mood swings and irritable moments, but he handled it much better than you thought he would. He’d give you your space when you needed it, but also sit by your side when you didn’t want to be alone. You found yourself thinking about how he would be as a father, but then you would remember that he was just the sperm donor.

One day, when he was sitting beside you on the couch, rubbing your back after you’d cried over your coffee order being wrong, you ended up asking him how much he wanted to be involved.

“We didn’t talk about the ‘after’,” you said, still sniffling. He stopped rubbing your back and looked at you.

“What do you want the ‘after’ to look like?” He asked, his tone level and gentle.

You had visions of Jaehyun rocking the baby to sleep, of Jaehyun seeing the baby walk for the first time, of Jaehyun teaching your child how to ride a bike, piano lessons, soccer games, first day of school. The perfect family. Except he wasn’t your husband, he wasn’t even your boyfriend. You didn’t know what to ask of him.

“I don’t know,” you whispered. He went back to rubbing your back.

“I’ll be as involved as you want me to be,” he said softly, “my only request is that I get to be a part of their life.”

That sounded fair, you thought. This was certainly going to be more complicated than getting a stranger as a sperm donor.

---

You went through several cycles of IVF, but none had been successful and you were losing hope. Not to mention the fertility drugs were really taking a toll on you, and the doctor had recommended taking a break. You were devastated, seeing it as the end of your dream, no matter how much the doctor reassured you that it wasn’t.

“There has to be another solution,” you pleaded at one appointment. Jaehyun hadn’t accompanied you and you felt yourself falling apart without his presence.

“Well, of course there’s the surefire way,” the doctor shrugged.

“What’s that? I’ll do anything!” you were hopeful once again at the doctor’s words.

“Regular sexual intercourse.”

Of course, you thought bitterly. You couldn’t help but think this was society punishing you for doing this without a husband. Undeterred, you resolved to discuss it with Jaehyun.

---

The look on Jaehyun’s face when you broached the subject was one you had never seen on him before. It was a mixture of shock, terror, resignation, and… something else, almost like acceptance, as if this were the natural course of things.

You resolved not to make it weird, it was just sex after all, and you would get a baby out of it, and that was the most important thing. However, your palms still got sweaty at the thought of it, your heart racing imagining him naked. You’d gone swimming with him plenty of times, went on beach outings often, and you realized you’d always avert your eyes from his bare chest. You figured you were just doing it to be polite, but you had no trouble looking at other men’s chests (you were only human, after all). You shook your head of your thoughts, while waiting patiently for him to agree or disagree to your request.

“I know it’s weird,” you began, when he still hadn’t said anything, “but I promise it won’t change anything in our relationship.” You needed him to agree, and at this point you would say anything to convince him. He looked at you thoughtfully, before he nodded.

“Okay, I’m in.”

---

You’d been keeping track of your cycle and had the days you were ovulating marked on your calendar, which you had shared with Jaehyun. It was agreed that he would come to your place after work, where you would have sex in the hopes of making a baby.

The first night you were nervous, pacing your room as you waited for him to come over. When the doorbell rang you literally jumped out of your skin. When you opened the door you were relieved to see that he was nervous too, although he tried his best to hide it. He joked around with you, trying to keep the mood light, and you had to admit you appreciated it. But when you got to the bedroom, you both went quiet. Jaehyun stood at one end of the room and you stood at the other, the bed looming between you.

“Do you want me to turn around while you get undressed?” he asked awkwardly, and you realized you hadn’t thought through the details.

“Um, yeah, sure,” you replied, and when he turned around you hastily undressed and jumped under the covers. “Done,” you advised, and he turned around. He didn’t make a move though, just looking at you pointedly, until you realized and turned your head away. Once he was done undressing you felt him lift the covers and get into the bed with you, and you couldn’t stop your heart from hammering in your chest.

“Y/N,” he said softly, because you still hadn’t turned back to him. “Can I touch you?”

You bit your lip, still not looking his way, and nodded. His touch made you jolt, even though his hand was warm, the electricity you felt made all your nerve endings feel like they were on fire.

“Is this okay?” he asked, his hand moving tentatively across your stomach. You nodded but you realized you were panting already, and he had barely touched you. “Tell me if I do anything you don’t like,” he suddenly whispered in your ear, and then he was kissing your neck.

You weren’t prepared for the intimacy, you had really only thought about the intercourse part. You hadn’t prepared yourself for the kissing, and the touching, and how he was so good at making you feel good. You felt like you weren’t supposed to enjoy it, that it was supposed to be “just sex” because you were friends and you weren’t doing this because you loved each other, you were only doing it to have a baby. But the more he touched you, the more he kissed you, the more you fell under his spell. You felt like you should tell him to stop, to just get on with it, but you knew he was doing it to get you nice and wet and therefore more comfortable to take him.

His kisses started to move along your jaw, towards your lips, and when he was finally there, his lips on yours, you felt a panic bubble up in your chest. It was too intimate, too much for someone who wasn’t yours. You pulled away, and he looked at you in surprise.

“No kissing on the lips,” you managed to say, maybe that would be enough to keep it less intimate, you told yourself. He nodded without saying a word, his hand coming up to your breast.

“Is it okay if I touch you here?” he asked, his eyes on yours. You thought for a moment and decided it was okay, and when you nodded he cupped your breast tentatively, all the while watching you for your reaction. When you didn’t pull away he squeezed gently, rubbing your nipple with his thumb.

You pressed your lips together, trying to suppress a moan, because everything he was doing was making you feel so good. He kept watching your reaction, and when he was satisfied that you were reacting favorably he got bolder, his hand slipping down between your legs.

You yelped when he touched you there, your legs involuntarily closing and trapping his hand. He froze, looking at you with wide eyes.

“Sorry,” you apologized, flushing with embarrassment, “reflex reaction.”

“It’s okay,” he said softly, as you slowly opened up your legs again. He moved his hand slowly, gently, just rubbing the inside of your thigh. “You can relax, Y/N, I promise I won’t hurt you.” His words were soft, his tone gentle, and it did wonders to calm and soothe you.

You nodded, giving him the go-ahead, and he reached tentatively with his finger, just lightly touching your folds. The electricity you felt when he first touched you came back with a vengeance, and you almost melted right into the bed. Your reaction encouraged him though, and he pressed his finger further in, rubbing your wetness around. When he was satisfied with the state of your arousal he got into position between your legs, placing the tip of his cock at your entrance. He paused, looking you in the eye, gently stroking your cheek.

“Ready?” he asked gently, “I’ll go slow.”

You nodded vigorously, to be honest the anticipation was killing you and you were very much aroused, wanting him to just get on with it. When he pushed into you though, you realized you should really be careful what you wished for. The feeling of him stretching you was almost too much, every inch he pushed in agonizingly slow amplifying your arousal to a dizzying degree. By the time he was seated all the way inside you you were panting, almost out of breath already.

“Okay?” he asked, through gritted teeth. You could tell he was holding back for dear life, but he purposely went achingly slow to make sure you were comfortable.

“Yes,” you said, having adjusted to his size, “you can move now.” Your pussy clenched involuntarily around him and he hissed.

“Don’t do that, Y/N,” he groaned, “I won’t last.”

“Sorry,” you said sheepishly, and as if to get you back he snapped his hips, making you cry out.

“Fuck!” you screamed, and that definitely encouraged him, and he set a pace, fucking you into the mattress. You felt your toes curl, a familiar knot building in your stomach. Once again, you thought, you felt like you shouldn’t be enjoying it as much as you were, it was more important for him to come inside you. “Come on, baby, come for me,” you whispered in his ear, hoping the dirty talk would encourage him.

“Almost there,” he grunted, and as much as you tried not to enjoy it, the way he was drilling into you felt too good. You bit your lip and grasped at the sheets, trying to keep your orgasm down, but he took it as a sign that you were about to come. He reached between you and thumbed your clit, and at that moment your orgasm exploded out of you without warning. He groaned as you clenched around him, finally spilling his seed inside you. You were dizzy, mind hazy from your orgasm, but you were content at the feeling of his cum inside you. He started to pull out, then stopped.

“Oh,” he said, and you looked up at him to see why he was saying that.

“What is it?” you asked.

“It’s leaking out of you,” he pointed down between your legs. You panicked.

“Well you’re not supposed to pull out right away!” you wrung your hands frantically, “push it back in!”

He looked at you incredulously, before looking down at his already softening cock, realizing it was useless at that point. So he just used his fingers, gathering up the cum that had leaked down and pushing it back into your pussy. You bit your lip again, because the more he pushed in, the more aroused you became, surprised that you weren’t oversensitive at this point. He must’ve noticed your reaction because he didn’t stop, pushing in further and further, in and out, faster and faster, until you were coming again, pussy pulsing around his fingers.

You took a deep breath to regulate your breathing, while he pulled his fingers out of you and sat back.

“Are you okay?” he asked, when you still lay there, unmoving.

“Yes,” you responded, staring up at the ceiling.

“Well, I guess I’ll get going,” he said awkwardly, when you didn’t say anything else.

You nodded, still staring up at the ceiling. “Same time tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll be here.” He dressed without saying anything more and left the room.

---

He came over again the next night, and you repeated the same awkward scene from the night before. This continued for a few cycles, with no success, and again you were losing hope.

“Maybe there’s something wrong with me,” you said dejectedly one day. Jaehyun looked over at you, concern etched on his face.

“The doctor said you were fine,” he replied, attempting to soothe you.

“Maybe there’s something wrong with you then,” you huffed, but Jaehyun just shook his head.

“Y/N, they put us through a bunch of tests and said we’re both fine,” he put a hand on your knee to reassure you.

“Then why isn’t it working?” you lamented, on the verge of tears.

“Do you want my opinion?” he asked hesitantly. You looked up at him in surprise.

“Yeah, of course,” you replied, curious as to what he had to say.

“Well, I’ve been reading those links the doctor sent, and it said stress is a big factor,” he stated carefully, “I think you just need to relax, and let it happen.”

You were floored. On the one hand you were touched that he had actually read the links the doctor had sent (you had been too impatient to bother), on the other hand, what exactly did he mean by ‘letting it happen’?

“Let’s do things differently next time, what do you think?” he had a twinkle in his eye that was starting to alarm you.

“What do you have in mind?” you asked suspiciously.

“You’ll see.” He smiled, much too widely for your liking.

---

The next time came around and you were more nervous than you were the first night, and if this was his idea of making it more relaxed he was already failing miserably. When he showed up at your door though, you almost didn’t recognize him.

Instead of a t-shirt and sweats, he was wearing a crisp white button-down and jeans that sat sexily on his hips. Instead of his hair flat and falling in his face he had it pulled back, with just a few strands falling over his forehead. He also smelled incredible, a musky scent that forever trapped you in his hold, and made you want him in every way he would let you.

He smiled at you, but not in the way a friend smiles at a friend, and when he leaned in to give you a kiss on the cheek you almost passed out from the warmth of his lips and the intoxicating scent emanating from his skin. He walked past you to the bedroom, leaving you standing there with your mouth open and your underwear dampening.

When you finally collected yourself, you went upstairs to hear the bath running. You walked into the bathroom to see him drawing a bath, candles surrounding the tub, flower petals in the water, and the most luscious smelling bath bomb marinating in it.

“Jaehyun, what-”

“Shh,” he put a finger to your lips, and even that act was so sensual you had to squeeze your legs together, “let me take care of you.” He reached down and turned off the water. “Get undressed and get in the bath, and I’ll come back and help you get relaxed.” He left the room and you did what he said, calling him back in once you were in the bath and the cloudy bubbly water reached the tops of your breasts.

He had such a calm and serene look on his face that it almost threw you off, but then he was taking your puff and squeezing body wash on it.

“May I?” he asked, and when you nodded he gently took your arm and ran the puff along it. He did the same with the other arm, and that simple act, along with the warmth of the bath water, did wonders to soothe you. You felt like you were floating, with the calming scents of the bath bomb, and his gentle touch. He started to run the puff along your neck and you bent your head back and sighed. Soon enough he was dipping below the surface of the water, running the puff between your breasts, and you sighed even deeper as he got lower, past your stomach, and lower still. The puff was forgotten, and now it was just his hand, reaching down between your legs. It all felt so good, you spread your legs even wider, wanting more.

“How does it feel?” he whispered, so close to your ear you shuddered.

“So good,” you couldn’t help but moan, and then his hand was there, cupping your pussy.

“I want to make you feel good, Y/N,” he purred, his voice like honey, “will you let me make you feel good?”

“Yes,” the word came out on a long exhale, as he plunged a finger between your folds, and you couldn’t help but fall apart. He fingered you until you came, water splashing all around you as you writhed in pleasure. When you were done he picked you up out of the bath, not caring that his clothes were getting wet, and carried you to the bed. You couldn’t care that you were probably soaking the bed, because his lips were on your neck, hot and urgent, leaving marks that you’d have trouble concealing the next day.

You pulled at his shirt, wanting it off already, and he obliged, throwing the damp fabric to a corner of the room. You rubbed your hands all over his chest, feeling the firm muscle there, then down to his abs. He groaned against your neck when you undid his belt and slipped your hand over his hardened cock.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he hissed, when you wrapped your hand around it and pumped.

“Don’t come yet,” you whispered, taking your hand away, opting instead to pull the rest of his jeans and boxers off. You wrapped your legs around him, encouraging him to enter you, but he pulled back slightly.

“Slow down,” he breathed, and you could feel him smiling against your neck, “this isn’t a race, Y/N,” he continued kissing down the column of your neck, down to your chest, “relax, and let me make you feel good.”

You finally relented, relaxing as he’d ordered, letting yourself melt into the mattress as he sucked on your skin. Your body was on fire, both from the heat of the bath you just had as well as the way his lips were ruining you. When he got down to your lower stomach you realized where he was headed, and instead of fighting the pleasure you were feeling you simply gave in. As soon as his wet tongue collided with your wet folds you let go, moaning wantonly at the feeling. Every sound you made spurred him on, every jerk and jolt of your body gave him the impetus to push you to the height of pleasure, until you were yanking at his hair and convulsing around his tongue.

“That was fucking hot, Y/N,” he almost growled, wiping at his chin as he moved to hover above you, “I almost came.”

“Don’t,” you panted, trying to catch your breath, “you need to come inside me.”

“You want it? Want my cum inside you, fill you up,” his voice was deep, intense, a tone you’d never heard from him, and certainly words you’d never heard from him, but it certainly was doing the job and making you very aroused.

“Oh god,” you exclaimed, unaware that dirty talk was something you liked. Your previous boyfriends hadn’t been this filthy, but you found you loved it.

“I’m gonna fuck you hard, and you’re gonna take all of my cum,” he continued, voice raspy, breath hot in your ear, “I’m gonna knock you the fuck up, and watch your belly grow with my baby.”

“Jaehyun!” you cried out, losing yourself completely. You grabbed a hold of his neck and pulled him down, and for a split second you saw his eyes grow wide as you smashed your lips against his, your no-kissing rule forgotten. He kissed you with the same passion and intensity that he ate you out with, and you wondered why you had ever put that no-kissing rule into place if he could make you feel like that with his lips. You moaned when his tongue entered your mouth, just as he slid his cock inside you.

This time you didn’t hold back, allowing yourself to feel everything. The way his cock slid in and out of you, the way the tip kept hitting that spot so deep inside you. The way his tongue moved in your mouth, the way his hands rubbed up and down your body, sometimes squeezing your breasts and flicking your nipples. Your hands roamed over his back, feeling his muscles move, and when you felt your orgasm start to build you dragged your nails against his skin.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m gonna come,” he broke from the kiss to drop his head down to your chest, his thrusts getting harder but more erratic.

“Oh god, do it,” you panted, your orgasm about to burst out of you, “fill me up, baby, I want your cum so bad.”

That was enough to send him over the edge, and he pulled you flush against him as he came inside you, the particularly forceful thrusts triggering your own orgasm and making you clench around him. He let out a loud groan as you milked him, fingernails digging into his back.

When you were both done you held him against you, not wanting to let him go. He obliged, just holding you, his face tucked against your neck. You could feel his hot breath against your skin and that, along with his arms around you and his weight on top of you was all oddly comforting.

“I’m gonna pull out,” he finally said, when he had gone soft inside you. You sighed but nodded, and once he had pulled out you clamped your legs together, trying to keep as much of his cum inside you as you could.

He dressed quietly and you watched him, heart stuttering in your chest, your mind reeling. You had promised him that the sex wouldn’t change anything in your relationship, but you couldn’t believe how wrong you were. You wanted to reach for him, wanted him to stay, but you held back.

“Thanks for that,” you said quietly, and he turned to you and smiled.

“You’re welcome,” he said sincerely, “I’ll do anything for you,” and he brought his hand up and cupped your cheek, his eyes soft as he looked at you, “you’re my best friend.”

You smiled at him, but inside your heart was breaking. How could you ever think you could do this and keep your friendship as it was?

---

A few weeks later you were late, and although you tried not to get your hopes up you couldn’t help but think this was it. You waited to take the pregnancy test, wanting Jaehyun to be there no matter the outcome.

“What is it? What’s wrong? You said it’s an emergency.” He looked so concerned when he came over, and you almost felt bad for not saying what it was about right away.

“I’m late, Jaehyun,” you announced nervously.

“Where do you have to be?”

“No, I mean my period! I haven’t gotten my period yet!”

He paused, the pieces finally falling into place, and his face suddenly lit up. “Oh shit!” He covered his mouth with his hand as he looked at you with wide eyes.

“Come with me, I’m gonna take a pregnancy test.” You led him upstairs where he waited outside the bathroom door while you took the test. You placed the stick on the counter and opened the door to let him in.

“Well? What does it say?” he asked, rubbing his hands in anticipation.

“It’s gonna take a few minutes,” you answered nervously, “I can’t look, tell me what it says.” You turned away, so anxious you thought you would pass out.

“One line, so far,” he stated, and you tried to stay calm but your heart was beating out of your chest.

“Hold my hand,” you reached behind you and he took your hand in his, squeezing to comfort you. He was silent for a while, and you couldn’t take it anymore. “Well? What does it say now?”

“I see…” he started to say, and you so desperately wanted to turn around but you were too scared.

“What?! Just say it!”

He pulled you to him, turning you around and lifting the stick up to your eye level. “Two lines.”

You blinked a few times, wanting to make sure you were seeing it right, but every time you opened your eyes there were two solid lines. You were pregnant.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, both of your hands going up to cover your mouth. Jaehyun whooped in celebration, jumping up and down with glee. You saw the genuine happiness in his face and so many emotions ran through you that the only thing you could do was burst into tears.

“Aw, Y/N, don’t cry!” he laughed, gathering you into his arms, thinking you were just crying from happiness. But it was so much more complicated than that. You were getting what you wanted, a baby, but you hadn’t prepared yourself for all the complications of having a baby with your best friend, who you may have developed feelings for.

---

The first trimester was hell. You were throwing up every morning, and feeling nausea for the rest of the day. You had an aversion to most food, even hating the smell of certain things, like meat. The only things you could keep down were bread and noodles, and you wondered how the baby could grow when that was all that you ate. But at every appointment the doctor reassured you that the baby was doing well and developing at a good rate. Jaehyun insisted on going with you to your first ultrasound and as much as you wanted him to, you also dreaded it.

When the fuzzy form of your baby showed up on the screen for the first time you felt a surge of happiness overcome you, tears springing to your eyes at the sight of the tiny figure on the screen. You heard Jaehyun inhale sharply and turned to look at him. The awe in his face was so endearing it made the tears run down your cheeks, and seeing your reaction he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in for a hug.

“That’s our baby,” he whispered, his voice almost breaking, and you cried harder.

“Congratulations!” the technician said, patting you both on the shoulder. You felt like you should correct her, tell her that although the baby was technically yours and Jaehyun’s, you weren’t together and wouldn’t be raising the baby as such. But how do you explain that to a complete stranger? You looked over at Jaehyun, who was smiling from ear to ear, shaking the technician’s hand and making no move to explain the situation.

Later, as you were getting ready to leave the clinic, you saw the technician hand over a copy of the ultrasound picture to Jaehyun. He took it happily in his hands, as if it were the most precious thing in the world. As he walked towards you he slipped it into the plastic window spot in his wallet, where your drivers’ license should be, but his now housed a blurry black and white photo of your baby.

“Hey, wanna get something to eat to celebrate?” he asked, slinging an arm around you as you both left the clinic.

You shook your head. As much as you wanted to spend time with him, you found it hurt more than it helped. Once the baby was born you’d have to deal with him being around more often, so it was better to save up your strength for that.

“I’m actually really tired, I just want to go home and rest,” you answered without looking up at him, “besides, I’m still off most foods.”

“Oh, okay, makes sense.” He said, removing his arm from around your shoulder and stuffing his hands in his pockets. He didn’t sound upset or offended, but when you looked at him out of the corner of your eye you saw a flash of emotion cross his face, almost like hurt or disappointment. You felt bad, knowing you had been avoiding him, even giving up your weekly brunches, but you felt it was better this way.

“Listen, I’ll let you know when the next ultrasound is, okay? You can come with me again.” You wanted just to wipe the look of disappointment off his face, and luckily it worked.

“Yeah, that would be great! Thanks so much, Y/N,” he leaned down and hugged you, and it was the closest he’d been to you since the last time you’d had sex to make the baby. You held him close, committing the feel of him and the scent of him to memory, before you pulled away and walked towards your car.

---

If the first trimester had been hell, the second trimester was heaven. Miraculously the nausea disappeared, and you found yourself actually craving food. You felt more energized and less tired, and slept so much better. Your belly was starting to grow, and you actually had to start shopping for maternity clothes. Your mood was so much better, but what really came back with a vengeance was your libido. During the first trimester you couldn’t even think about sex, but now, it was all you could think about.

Usually your vibrator would do the trick, but there were always moments where you’d think about Jaehyun, think about how good he could make you feel. Sometimes just thinking about him fucking you was enough to get you off, but when you really thought about him, about the feeling of his cock parting your folds, or the feeling of his strong hips pounding into you, his face sweaty and his scent overpowering the air between you, nothing was better than the real thing.

Which is how you found yourself one night, holding your phone and dialing his number without hesitation.

“Hey, what’s up,” he answered, his voice sounding distant. You realized you hadn’t spoken to or seen him in weeks, and instantly you felt terrible.

“Um, actually nothing. I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t wake me,” you could hear him shuffling around, like he had been lying down and started to sit up, “is something wrong, Y/N?”

He always saw right through you, you could hear the concern is his voice, and there was no turning back now.

“Could you come over? I think I need some… company.” You didn’t know if you could just ask for sex over the phone, and was it really only sex that you wanted? Or did you just want him there, with you.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, I can come over,” you heard more shuffling, like he was getting dressed, “are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’ll be better when you’re here.” You answered truthfully.

When he showed up at your door you couldn’t stop yourself from pulling him towards you and hugging him tightly. He didn’t protest, just held you and rubbed your back gently.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked softly against your hair.

“I miss you,” you admitted, voice muffled against his chest because you were too ashamed to look at him.

“I’m around, you know,” he chuckled, “you’re the one who cancelled our brunches.”

You pulled back and forced yourself to make eye contact with him. “No, Jaehyun, I miss you.” You touched his chest when you said it, giving him a look laden with meaning. He understood right away, his eyebrows rising slightly. You took him by the hand and pulled him inside, leading him upstairs and to your bedroom. He let himself be led, but once you were behind closed doors he suddenly took you into his arms and kissed you. The kiss wasn’t subtle, or gentle, it was intense and forceful, his intent surely to rile you up. It definitely worked, because you could feel wetness pooling in your panties as he stuck his tongue down your throat.

“You want my cock again,” he growled, breaking from the kiss to suck a line down your throat. You gasped at his aggressiveness, but you had to admit it really turned you on.

“Yes,” you breathed out, as he stripped you of your clothes and pushed you towards the bed. You fumbled at his clothes, trying to get them off but you found your limbs were weak from the way he was handling you. He took over, stripping off the rest of his clothes, his cock springing forward when he pulled his boxers down. You admired it for only a second before he turned you around, pushing you onto your hands and knees on the bed.

“You like my cock, don’t you, you like me fucking into your little pussy,” he spoke so low, his chest flush against your back so you could feel the reverberation of his voice.

You didn’t have a chance to answer, because he rammed his cock into you, a scream tearing from your throat as he went as deep as he could.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groaned, his hands gripping your hips as he started to pound into you. You weren’t sure how pregnant sex would feel, since so many things were changing in your body, but you weren’t prepared for what you got. It felt like your entire body was on fire, pleasure coursing through every part of you. He hit places inside you that you’d never felt before, and all of it was like nothing you’d ever experienced.

“Jae,” you panted, “Jae, oh my god!” your orgasm was coming on, super fast and beyond your control.

“You’re gonna come already, baby? Alright, come on, come all over my cock,” he reached down, and although it was a little awkward because of your belly, he managed to get to your clit and rub it with the pad of his thumb.

Your vision went white when your orgasm hit, your fingers and toes going numb as your pussy clenched around his cock. You could barely hold yourself up, your upper body falling to the bed as you convulsed around him. He kept going, fucking you through it, and when you stilled he pulled out and lay you on your back. He gave you a moment to catch your breath, before he entered you again. You cried out at the oversensitivity, but he went slowly, and soon enough you started to feel pleasure again.

“I can keep going,” he said, as he fucked into you at a slow but deliberate pace, “you want more, don’t you?”

You nodded vigorously, already feeling another orgasm building. He propped himself up then, and pounded into you, the bed shaking from his harsh thrusts. You gripped and pulled at the sheets, unable to contain the needy whines and moans coming up out of your mouth. You forced your eyes open to see him hovering over you, a look of intense concentration on his face, his brow sweaty, hair falling into his eyes. When he saw you looking at him his concentration faltered, and he bent his head down for a kiss. You were expecting a kiss to match the intensity with which he was fucking you, but instead it was soft, gentle, lingering. You felt something in it, something above and beyond what he was doing to you, something that carried you where you most wanted to be but didn’t dare go. The orgasm you had then was different, not just purely physical, not just filled with lust, but something more elevated, more emotional.

He broke the kiss to grunt loudly as he came, spilling more of his seed inside you. When he was done he pulled out, and sat at the edge of the bed.

“Y/N,” he said, and you don’t know why he sounded so defeated. You sat up, preparing yourself for what he was going to say.

“Jaehyun,” you reached for him but thought better of it, your hand dropping into your lap.

“I can’t keep doing this with you,” he said, his voice quiet but determined, “it’s fucking me up and I don’t know what to do with myself.”

Your heart sank. He was pulling out of your life, and it was all your fault for doing this to him. “I’m so sorry, Jaehyun.”

He got dressed hurriedly, without looking back at you, and before he opened the door to leave he turned back.

“You need to decide for yourself what you want me to be,” he still didn’t look at you, opting to look at the floor instead, “I’ll always be here for you, but I need to know where I stand.”

The door closing behind him echoed in the room, the absence of him already settling into your heart.

---

You went through the rest of the second trimester on your own, too ashamed and heartbroken to see Jaehyun, and too confused to sort out your feelings. He’d text you once in a while to ask you how you were doing, how you were feeling, but there was no talk beyond the pregnancy. He didn’t come to any more of your doctor’s appointments, nor did you ever invite him to any more in the first place. The third trimester hit even worse than the first, your belly was now so big it was almost uncomfortable to do anything, you now had constant heartburn, and you were going to the bathroom every ten minutes because of the weight on your bladder.

About a month before your due date, you were making dinner in the kitchen when you felt an uncomfortable tightening in your abdomen. You clutched your stomach, gripping the counter in alarm and wondering what you should do. The feeling came and went, but returned after a few minutes. Concerned, you called your doctor, who advised you to come in to the hospital just to get checked out. As you were getting ready you got a text from Jaehyun, asking how you were doing.

Jaehyun: hey just doing my check-in

JH: how is it going today

Me: well it’s probably nothing but

Me: just going to the hospital to get checked out

JH: wait what

JH: let me take you

Me: i should be ok

JH: Y/N pls let me take you

Me: ok

JH: thank you i’ll be right there

You sighed, wishing you had never told him and made him worry. Luckily you didn’t have to wait long since he lived nearby, and soon enough he was pulling up to your house. You didn’t bother to wait for him to come to the door, coming out as soon as you saw his car. You were locking the front door when the uncomfortable feeling came back, making you double over, clutching your stomach.

“Y/N!” you heard Jaehyun yell behind you, and soon enough his arms were cradling you as you crouched over. “What happened? What’s going on?”

His voice sounded frantic, terrified, and when you looked up in his eyes he looked so scared that it made your chest ache.

You smiled weakly, trying to placate him, “Don’t worry, it’s probably just false labor,” you patted him on the arm and soon enough the feeling went away. “My doctor just wants me to come in and get checked out, just in case.”

He nodded, but didn’t look reassured at all, creases of worry still lining his face. He also didn’t let you go, holding onto your arm as you walked to the car. At the hospital he didn’t leave your side, until the doctor came to do your examination.

“I’ll wait outside,” he said hesitantly, but you could tell he didn’t want to leave at all, eyes looking longingly back at you as he left the room.

After the doctor examined you and reassured you that it really was just false labor, you were cleared to leave and found Jaehyun in the hall, pacing. Once he saw you he ran up to you, searching your face with frantic eyes.

“Well? What happened?” he’d taken your hands in his, and his palms felt cold and clammy.

“It was nothing, just false labor, the doctor told me to go home and rest.” You reassured him, squeezing his hands and smiling softly at him. He let out a long breath, collapsing into a nearby chair.

“Oh my god, Y/N, I almost died!” he passed the back of his hand over his eyes dramatically, and you suppressed a giggle at his overdramatic show.

“Don’t laugh!” he sat up and looked at you incredulously, “I lost ten years of my life just now!”

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” you pressed your lips together trying not to smile. He broke into a wide grin then, pleased with himself that he had managed to lighten your mood with his sense of humor.

“Come on, let’s get you home.”

---

The drive from the hospital had been quiet, both of you realizing that there was still this huge wall between you, and neither of you were brave enough to breach it. He walked you to your door in continued silence, and once you reached your doorstep he turned around to walk back to his car.

“Jaehyun,” you called, unable to stand it anymore, “do you wanna come in and talk?”

He turned around, a mixture of hope, fear, and resignation on his face, and nodded.

The time apart had made you realize how much you missed him, and seeing him again had made you realize how much you still wanted him to be a part of your life. You were hoping to salvage something of your relationship, but you were fully aware that you could never go back to what it had been.

You sat him down on the sofa and took a deep breath.

“Jaehyun,” you began, getting more and more nervous as you went on, “I know I made things weird, even though I promised I wouldn’t,” he opened his mouth to say something but you stopped him, determined to get out what you wanted to say. “I was so focused on having a baby that I didn’t think about what involving you would mean, and what it would do to our friendship. I think I was just naive, I didn’t think anything would change, and I was so wrong.”

He sat across from you, and even though he was just inches away it felt like he was miles away, like an unfathomable chasm had opened up between you. Then he looked up at you, hesitant, but determined.

“Y/N, we can’t go back and change things anymore. What’s happened has happened.” He tilted his head to regard you, taking a deep breath before moving on, “so I just need to know one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Do you want me to be a part of your life?”

“Yes. Always.” You answered truthfully, without a doubt in your mind. He smiled, but there was still something behind his eyes.

“Hey, do you remember that pact we made in eighth grade?” He suddenly asked, his eyes twinkling.

“The marriage one?” you scanned your eighth grade memories and that was the only pact you could think of.

“Yeah, the one where we said if neither of us are married by the time we’re thirty, we’ll marry each other?”

“Yes, I remember.” It was during PE class, when you and Jaehyun were sitting in the field while everyone else was running around chasing soccer balls. You don’t remember how the subject came up, but soon enough you were doing pinky swears and Jaehyun was fashioning rings out of blades of grass for you and him to wear. You both had a good laugh over it, and never thought about it again until this moment.

“So what if we didn’t wait?”

“What do you mean?”

“What if we didn’t wait until we’re thirty, what if we just did it now? I mean, we’re having a baby together already.”

“Jaehyun, are you proposing right now?” you said it as a joke, even chuckling to yourself, you weren’t taking the whole thing seriously at all, except Jaehyun wasn’t laughing.

“I mean, I don’t have a ring, but…” he looked around the room, and seeing your spider plant on a nearby table he picked a leaf off and rolled it around itself, making a ring out of it, and slipped it on your finger. You were speechless.

“Jaehyun, you’re serious.” You managed to say after the thoughts stopped running through your brain. You hadn’t really thought about marriage, none of the guys you’d dated had ever made you think about it. You knew you wanted kids, but marriage was something you figured you couldn’t achieve, never having found the right guy. Yet here he was all along, Jeong Jaehyun, your best friend, someone who knew you inside and out. A dawning realization hit you then, that maybe none of your relationships ever worked out because you kept comparing them to Jaehyun, and no one ever held up. You were in love with your best friend, and you didn’t even know it.

“Well?” he asked, with raised eyebrows and hopeful eyes. You stared at the leaf ring on your finger, turning it around and around, your heart and mind finally finding peace in your realization. You looked up at him, cupping his face, and he looked like he was bracing himself for a possibly negative response.

“Yes.” You answered, smiling brightly at him, and it took him a moment to realize you weren’t turning him down. His face broke out into a wide grin, his dimples as deep as ever, his eyes shiny. He pulled you in for a hug, but your belly made it somewhat awkward.

“Oh my god, Y/N, you’re huge!” he looked down at your belly in awe.

“Jaehyun what the fuck!” you smacked him on the arm, slightly offended.

“No, I meant I was too busy being worried about you that I never noticed how big your belly had gotten.” He reached out his hand tentatively. “Can I touch?”

“Of course,” you said, happy that you could share this with him. You took his hand and placed it on your belly.

“Can you feel the baby move?” He asked, eyes growing wide when his hand landed on your stomach.

“Sometimes, mostly when I’m lying still though.” You let him rub his hand over your stomach, endeared at how awestruck he was, his mouth forming a little ‘o’ as he moved his hand around. He suddenly leaned forward, his face getting very close to your belly.

“Hey little one,” he called softly, and your heart clenched at the sight of him talking to the baby in your belly, “I’m your dad.”

Suddenly you felt a jolt in your ribs, as the baby stretched and kicked inside you.

“Oh my god, Y/N! Did you feel that?” Jaehyun clapped excitedly.

“Damn right I felt it,” you groaned, patting your stomach, “keep it down in there, kicking mama in the ribs really hurts!”

Jaehyun burst out laughing, gathering you in his arms and hugging you tightly. “That was adorable!” he exclaimed, and your heart felt warm as you wrapped your arms around him.

---

You decided to just do a small backyard ceremony for your wedding, neither of you fond of big parties that meant even bigger expenses. Jaehyun moved into your house since he had been rooming with a friend, and once all of his things had been moved in and installed, you were left alone with each other once again.

You don’t know why, but your first night as a married couple felt like the first night you’d had sex, awkward as hell. Once again you stood on either side of the bed, unsure as to what to do.

“Bed?” he finally asked after you’d both stood there for too long.

“Bed,” you answered, and you both got in at the same time. You couldn’t help but laugh at your awkwardness, and that certainly broke the tension. You turned to your side, the only way you could get comfortable with how big your belly was, and he slotted his body behind you, wrapping an arm around you and resting his hand on your belly. You sighed contentedly, loving the feeling of being in his arms.

“This is nice,” he whispered, but his breath against your ear made you shiver, and suddenly contentment wasn’t the only thing you were feeling. Not to mention his hand that was on your belly had moved to your hip, fingers tracing wide circles over the fabric of your sleep shorts.

“Jaehyun,” you didn’t mean to, but his name came out in a moan, and his hand stopped its circuit, the faintest bit of pressure being applied to your hip.

“Y/N?” he questioned, but you were taking his hand and moving it up to your breasts. Once he cupped them you moaned again. “Holy shit, Y/N, your boobs are huge!”

“Jaehyun!” you reprimanded him, but he apologized quickly.

“Sorry, sorry, I just-” he cupped and squeezed, feeling the weight of them, “wow,” was all he could say.

“Well they won’t be this big for too long, so you better take advantage of them now,” you encouraged, and he did, tweaking your nipples until you were moaning into your pillow.

“Tell me if I do anything that hurts, or makes you feel uncomfortable, okay?” he whispered into your ear, before he started to plant wet kisses along your neck and shoulder. Your mind went hazy at the feeling of his lips on your skin, and soon he slipped a hand down, past the waistband of your shorts.

You inhaled sharply when his fingers found you wet, when he gathered some of your arousal to rub it around your clit. You moaned loudly when he made circles around your bud, pressing your face further into your pillow.

“Don’t do that, baby, I wanna hear you,” he pulled the covers off and pushed your pillow away, helping you take off your shirt and the rest of your clothes so you were fully exposed to him. He looked at you, lust and hunger clouding his eyes. “Fuck, you look so gorgeous knocked up with my baby.”

Your pussy clenched at his words and you pulled at his own clothes to get him to take them off. “Come here and fuck me, husband.”

Your words ignited something in him, and he bent down, throwing one of your legs over his shoulder and pushing into you. You cried out, not caring anymore how loud you were being, the feeling of his cock inside you throwing you into the heights of pleasure. Once you started though, you couldn’t stop, moans and whimpers and whines tumbling out of your lips as he pumped his cock inside you.

“You like it, don’t you?” he growled, “you like my cock so much you let me knock you up.”

You moaned even louder at his words, your orgasm starting to build in the pit of your stomach. “Yes, god, yes!”

“You want my cum, baby? Look at where it got you, huh? You let me come inside you and now you’re knocked up.” His voice was raspy, deep, and it cut right to your core.

“Fuck, Jaehyun! I’m gonna come!” you warned him, grasping at the sheets as your orgasm hit you, your pussy pulsing around his cock. It didn’t take much longer for him to come, one last thrust that took your breath away, and he spilled his seed into you.

“Are you okay?” he asked, brushing aside a strand of hair that had fallen into your face, “did it hurt at all?”

“No, not at all, it felt good,” you smiled at him, wanting to alleviate his concern. He looked relieved, before he bent down and kissed the swell of your stomach.

“Sorry, baby,” he said sheepishly, addressing the baby, and you could only laugh, rubbing a hand through his hair as he smiled up at you.

---

The next day Jaehyun had left for work, and you were almost out the door yourself when you felt something gush between your legs. You figured you knew what it was and, resolved to stay calm, you quickly called Jaehyun.

“Babe, what is it?” he answered on the first ring.

“I think my water broke.”

“Okay, stay calm, I’m on my way back.”

It didn’t take long for him to come back since he’d just left, and you drove to the hospital all the while holding tightly to his hand. The contractions started then, not too bad at first but as time went on the pain was hard to bear. By the time you reached the hospital you were grimacing in pain and Jaehyun was yelling for someone to come and help you.

You labored for hours, Jaehyun never leaving your side, giving you strength even when you felt like you had no more to give. You wondered how you could have ever done this without him, without his unwavering support, his cheerful but calm demeanor raising you up when you felt like giving in. Soon enough you had a healthy baby in your hands, a boy that an ecstatic Jaehyun had already dubbed his ‘mini me’.

---

If you had known what the first few weeks with a newborn would have been like you would have seriously rethought having a baby in the first place. You were exhausted more than you had ever been in your life, catching sleep for only those precious moments when the baby would sleep. Your breasts were sore from breastfeeding, and if you never saw another poopy diaper in your life it would be too soon. What made it all worth it, was the look of pure innocence in your baby’s eyes, and the way your husband would stare at him like he was the most precious person in the world.

One night you were woken again by the baby’s cries, and trudging to his room you were surprised to see Jaehyun already there.

“Sorry to wake you,” he whispered, “I was changing him and he lost his binky.” You stood in the doorway and watched as your husband expertly handled your son, swaddling him in his blankets and making sure the pacifier was situated in his mouth. “Go back to bed, I got this.”

Jaehyun had done many things during your time together that you considered sexy, but this was probably the sexiest thing he had ever done. You walked back to your bedroom, mentally reminding yourself to reward him when you were more awake.

You lay in bed though, unable to fall back asleep. Your mind was racing, anxieties resurfacing at that dark and quiet time of night. Jaehyun eventually came back, sliding into the bed and spooning you, his arm coming to wrap around your waist.

“Jae?” you whispered, hoping he hadn’t fallen back asleep right away.

“Hm? I thought you were asleep.” He sounded tired, tightening his arm around you.

“Is this the life you wanted?” you asked him, rubbing his arm that was wrapped around you.

“Absolutely.” He answered, without hesitation.

“No, I’m serious.”

“So am I. Why wouldn’t you think I was being serious?” he suddenly propped himself up on his elbow so he could see your face.

“Because you had a life before this, and now it’s just-” you waved your hand in the air, “me and the baby.”

“Just you and the baby? Y/N, you and Yuno are the most important things in my life right now.” He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. “Yeah I had Friday night drinks and Sunday basketball games, and that was fun and all, but you two are my family now.”

“Don’t you miss it?”

“If I did I’d just go and do it? So no, I don’t miss it right now. Maybe eventually? But that doesn’t mean I’d love you and Yuno less.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d told you he loved you, but you knew you’d never get tired of hearing it. You’d been surprised when he’d told you he’d been in love with you for a while, not daring to say anything about it for fear of ruining your friendship. When you’d told him that you wanted to have a baby he knew that there was no one else in the world that he wanted to bear his children except you, and he was relieved when you accepted his offer of being a sperm donor. He had been prepared to be just that, but the sex threw everything into chaos, including his feelings for you and his resolve to keep your relationship as just friends. He felt himself falling even deeper for you, but his heart couldn’t handle the push and pull he was feeling from you. He never wanted to pull out of your life, and he spent more time staring at his phone waiting for you to call or text than he dared to admit. Bringing up the marriage pact had been a gamble, and he was terrified that you’d say no, but when you said yes, he could barely contain his happiness.

“Listen,” he said, taking your hand in his, “this life is more than I could have ever asked for.”

“Really?” you asked, turning to look at him, “With me?”

“Baby, it’s always been you.”

#jaehyun imagines #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun smut #nct imagines #nct smut

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miraculousdeservesbetter2024 · 3 years

Text

You know what I hate what Thomas is doing?

Now, I’m going to start by saying this; whether if you are a Chloe fan or not, Chloe was ALWAYS a brat and a mean person. I’m not going to deny that, and she DOES deserve to get called out on it. Being a bully is Chloe’s character. Whether if she was ever meant to get a redemption or not. THAT’S who she is, at least that’s what she was meant to be in the beginning.

However,

She DID have a least a little bit of development as the series progressed throughout season 2. She also at least has a little bit of redeeming qualities about herself. Yes, she was bad, but she wasn’t always. Also, people don’t change in one day, which could explain why she went back and forth with her attitude in season 2. It’s hard to change what you’ve been for years, especially if people have enabled you without consequence.

However, the one thing that I CANNOT stand about S4!Chloe is that some of things that she’s doing now…she simply would NOT do. It feels so out of place and OOC now. I mean yeah, you COULD say that it’s because she’s starting to be taken off her high pedestal and she’s starting to lose things, but I don’t know. It doesn’t feel natural and feels more like bad writing.

You see, when Chloe is OOC, I don’t only mean “Chloe would never do that because she got development!”. What I also mean is “Even season 1 Chloe would never do that!”. Chloe probably did terrible things, but even SHE had her limits, with or without her “development”, despite showing an actual WANT to save people, to fix her mistakes and to actually WANT to improve for Ladybug, Adrien, and her mother. You’re not going to tell me that she never cared about anything else other than her ego and herself. I’m not saying that Chloe was innocent, but there’s just some things that even she wouldn’t have done.

Pushing a whole family in the way of an akuma.

Putting Sabrina in a closest to do her homework (and Sabrina actually going along with that AND completely dedicating her life to be Chloe’s guinea pig, but I digress).

Only seeing her father as a cash cow and not actually loving him.

The show/canon making it VERY CLEAR on screen that Lila is most likely worse than Chloe.

Getting an UBER FIT over a movie.

Hating EVERYONE (including Adrien, her father and even her own sister) for just simply not getting her way.

Wanting for Adrien to be kicked out of school so he won’t have no social life, only being with her (it’s not even for HIS benefit, it’s more for HERS).

Managing to get her own sister kicked out of a special event, despite ANDRE HIMSELF getting development!

And I know what your thinking, she probably would of did half of these things at some point, but only IN SEASON 1! It’s just…dumb. SO dumb.

Yes, Chloe still did awful things, but not like this. She GOTTEN development, so she shouldn’t have even said or did half of these things. Anything bad done to Chloe at this point is just there to make her look worse (or to make Zoe look better, even though she has no real development or depth yet).

The point is, what makes me mad about what Thomas is doing is that yes, Chloe was a terrible person, but she DID have redeemable qualities and tried to change, even if it was at least a little bit. But now this dude wants to throw it all away and deny any of the development that SHE DID have ever existed (or even switch it all around to make Chloe worse than she actually is) just because of his own experiences or whatever🤦‍♀️ Yes, some people don’t change, but the way he and the team handled it was NOT GOOD.

If you’re going to sell us on the fact that Chloe, a 14 YEAR OLD teen/child, was always meant to be a horrible person, that she “isn’t human”, then:

DON’T GIVE HER REEMABLE QUALITIES (and yes, I know being a terrible person and having nice moments every now and then CAN coexist in someone, but it’s the way you HANDLE IT).

Do so while NOT making it SO OOC that it’s noticeable.

DONT GIVE HER A MIRACULOUS!

Seriously. This is crazy, and I don’t like it at all. I hope season 5 will do some closure for the girl. She’s just a teen. I KNOW that her upbringing isn’t an excuse for her actions, but still. Chloe has so much wasted potential (AND this is coming from a Marinette and Sabrina fan, the biggest victims of her bullying) 🤦‍♀️

#NotMYChloe / #NotMYQueenBee

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spectral-kitkat · 3 years

Text

Miraculous Rant.

Where the hell do I begin…

Season 1:

The show was decent in season 1. Some episodes were just mindless filler and probably weren’t needed in the grand scheme of things but they helped us get introduced to the characters, we got to know the plot and the world our characters inhabit. It was good. The love story between Adrien and Marinette was cute and off to a touching and fluffy start.

Season 2:

This season was immediately better than season 1. It had character development, it went more into detail about the lore surrounding the Miraculous and we got to learn more about our characters and their families and the villian’s motives. (HM really went from “I wanna destroy the world” to “I wanna wake my wife from the coma she’s in”).

We got to see new heroes which was fun! We got new characters like Luka and Kagami.

The season finale was epic! The Miraculous team all taking down all the previous villains in the show was awesome. At the end we even got Mari kissing Adrien on the cheek. It was great! (Even though it clearly reset itself in season 3 cause it’s never mentioned again)

I really enjoyed season 2 and it’s probably my favourite out of the 4.

Season 3:

Season 3 was kinda good and kinda bad. We had some great episodes but this is where the show took the wrong turn.

Marinette lost some of her character in season 3. This was the start of her descent into being the Queen of Mary Sues. It’s also where she was crowned the Queen of Stalkers! Her character took a fucking nose dive in this season. We had so many moments that just creeped me the fuck out.

1. The ENTIRETY of Puppeteer 2 🤢🤢🤢 I could not stand that episode. When we reached the dreaded statue scene I physically had to pause it like 10 times. That scene takes about 3 minutes to watch… it took me about 20. I cringed so fucking hard because of the secondhand embarrassment I was feeling. That was not sweet, it wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t the least bit cute… it was a train wreck! It was creepy and stalkerish and it’s a wonder Adrien even spoke to her again after that atrocity!

2. LB delivering the present in Chat Blanc. Two words: STALKER BEHAVIOUR!!! I genuinely could not believe my eyes when I saw LB run her hand across everything in his room and then actually SNIFF Adrien’s pillow. Like WTF!!! 🤮 I’m pretty sure whoever was responsible for that scene clearly thought it was the equivalent of when someone gets their S/O’s jumper or something and it still smells like them. But this turned it up to the nth degree and way passed the line of sanity.

Adrien was extremely under-utilised in this season. He didn’t really do anything. The only episodes we got about him didn’t really focus on him. ‘Felix’ whilst focusing on Adrien’s family didn’t really feature him. ‘Party Crasher’ while a beautiful mess was more about Mari trying to get into the party than the party itself. ‘Chat Blanc’ again focused more on Mari trying to fix her mistake.

We got even more heroes in season 3, not in the right order but they were there. It was fun seeing everyone’s transformations.

Season 3 was also the season of destroying redemptions. The big one obviously being Chloe. Season 2 was setting up this amazing redemption for her and before it could go anywhere it was wiped off the face of the earth during the finale (and don’t worry we’ll get to that dumpster fire later). Gabriel also had any remaining sympathy ripped away from him. How did the guy who stopped Gorizilla from letting Adrien die when he only thought he was CN go from that to using his son like fucking baseball in Chat Blanc when he knew his son was CN. Like I knew you were a shit father but you still cared about Adrien in some way shape or form but after that episode I can see I was clearly mistaken!

Before we get to the finale I want to talk about probably my 2 least favourite episodes from this season: Desperada and Reflekdoll

Desperada:

I fucking hated this episode! The only good thing was Luka getting to be Viperion, other than that this episode was awful!

Marinette was a selfish cringey bitch. Completely ignoring Luka to gush about Adrien to Jagged. Brushing Luka off as soon as Adrien turns up. Immediately cuddling up to Aspik and flirting with him when she needed to focus on the akuma (something which she has told CN not to do many times before)

Adrien, I love you kid but Jesus Christ you were a dumbass in this episode! Aspik’s design was terrible! Aspik himself was awful. I know Adrien tried his best but dude you were given the Black Cat miraculous for a reason! He shouldn’t have tried to be Aspik but even when he did he should’ve called it quits after like 5 resets not 25,913 times.

The only person with a brain this episode was Luka. So well done guitar boy, gold star!

Reflekdoll:

This episode was annoying! It was basically the start of the Marinette can do no wrong streak! When they have to swap miraculous I was happy cause it meant we got to see new outfits and see how they each handle the different powers. It would also serve as a way to get LB and CN to see what their partners role is first hand. Until we actually get to it…

LadyNoire is of course amazing and needs no introduction to using this new miraculous that she’s never used before. She’s cocky and confident and basically just LB in Chat’s costume with his powers.

Mister Bug on the other hand is just useless. He struggles with this new miraculous (like anyone would!) and is stupid and goofy. He has to rely on LadyNoire to solve the lucky charm. They swapped miraculous so shouldn’t that mean that Mister Bug should get the lucky vision and the creative powers that the earrings give him.

Overall Reflekdoll is awful. It was shitty writing and the start of Adrien getting the short end of the stick.

And now the season 3 finale… Just what the fuck. That is my only reaction: what the fuck!

Chloe you poor fucking child! What did they do to you!!! So much potential SQUANDERED!!!!

What was the point in bringing in all these different superheros with unique skill sets, costumes and transformations if you were just going to immediately reveal them to the main villian so they can’t be used again. That’s stupid! If you wanted the shock value that is “Oh no HM knows some of the heroes identities!” Then keep it as only some. Have like Max, Kim and Kagami outside trying to find somewhere to hide but unfortunately they get hit. Or Nino and Alya are hiding but the windows open and they get hit. Have some of the heroes hide so they’re fine! Taking away every ally of LB and CN’s was a stupid move! (Even if they wanted Alya to become a spy have her as part of the like 4 that get revealed or something, it’s not that difficult)

Season 3 was 50/50 for me

Season 4:

So I know season 4 isn’t even halfway through yet but so much is wrong with this season already that I need to vent!

So my biggest problem with this season of Miraculous: Tales of Ladybitch and Rena Rouge, I mean Rena Furtive… shit, Chat Noir! Is that CN is basically pointless! Adrien has been flung over a rainbow and is only remembered when he’s needed as

1. Marinette’s love interest

2. Someone for LB to shout at

3. A plot device

He has basically been sidelined. Partners my ASS!!!

Adrien is being blown off by pretty much EVERYONE! It’s coming to a point where this poor sweet summer child is going to crack! And it is not gonna be pretty… I definitely feel like the writers are leading up to a big fight between CN and LB which will probably end with Chat Blanc 2.0.

I REALLY HATE MARINETTE/LADYBUG!!!! In Season 3 I said it was the beginning of her descent, well in season 4 she’s done it. She’s descended, she has hit rock fucking bottom. She is so unlikable I don’t actually care about her as a person. She has entered full blown stalker territory it’s only a matter of time before she starts killing people for even looking at Adrien! Not to mention that Miss Mary Sue here can’t do anything wrong! She never has to suffer the consequences of her actions, she is always perfect no matter what she does… it pisses me off!)

She’s the Guardian now big whoop. I know what it feels like to be stressed and under pressure so I do understand why she needed to tell someone about it all. I just don’t see why that person had to Alya! Especially considering she has someone by her side every akuma attack going through pretty much the exact same thing. I know she’s worried about CB happening again but as I said before the more she leaves him out the more she is actually pushing that to become a possibility! Plus it makes sense for them to reveal their identities now since LB is now the guardian it’s probably a good idea to know who holds the cat miraculous, she knows everyone else’s identities!

Even if she didn’t want to tell CN her identity she could still explain the situation to him. If she didn’t want to tell him anything (which she doesn’t anyway) then instead of Alya she should’ve talked to Luka! Her boyfriend for all of half an episode (thanks writers…). He’s so sweet and caring and clearly loves her so much! If she wanted someone to confide in then why not choose the person you clearly wanted to date but couldn’t because of that very reason! (Yeah I know it’s kinda a moot point now since Luka knows both identities but still). He wanted to try and comfort her so it would’ve been the perfect moment for it. That way you could still date him and he’d know why you had to suddenly leave dates halfway through! But no break the boys heart instead!

Adrien and Marinette were both such fucking idiots in the first 2 episodes. Like why would you start a relationship with someone when you know your heart isn’t in it! That’s called leading someone on and is a really shitty thing to do to someone! No wonder Kagami and Luka ended up akumatized!

Another aspect of season 4 I don’t like is Rena Furtive. Yes ok having a spy for your side is a good strategy but when said spy basically tells an important member of a duo that the 2 person job doesn’t involve them… it just really ticks me off! Alya you are the sidekick to LB and CN! Chat isn’t!

Miraculous specials:

The Miraculous World specials suck! Shanghai is better than NY but still has its problems. Both specials add nothing to the overall plot/lore of the show apart from trying to set up some weird cinematic universe…

NY special:

One of the worst things I’ve ever had to sit through! The plane scene alone I paused a few times. I want to say well done to Mari for trying to move on from Adrien (especially considering I’m pretty sure she’s dating Luka at this point) but I can’t help but think it’s just to give her character some pointless development that goes nowhere and doesn’t actually develop anything!

LB can pretty much fuck off at this point! I hate her! She put all this shit on CN (like she doesn’t know exactly how that feels). It’s like why does she get to go off on holiday but CN can’t. LB should’ve stayed in Paris for 3 reasons:

1. She’s recently become the guardian meaning it would probably be best that she stayed with the Mircle Box

2. She’s the only one who can purity the akumas

3. If she’s so sure about being the boss then she should take responsibility of Paris and the citizens.

What really pisses me off about her is what she says to CN during the big fight. “I can’t trust you”… surely you could have this conversation afterwards since you’re supposed to be focusing on taking down the villian! Plus everyone bashes Adrien for giving his miraculous up in this episode but look at it from his point of view: His partner and best friend just said she couldn’t trust him which in turn caused him to cataclysm someone and essentially kill them. That’s gonna take a toll on anyone, especially a 14 year old! He probably thought in that moment. “Ladybug needs a partner she can trust and someone who won’t mess up and kill someone. She needs a better partner.” It makes sense he renounces his miraculous! I’m just upset that in doing so he loses Plagg who is pretty much his only friend who actually understands what Adrien goes through at home.

When Uncanny gets CN to come back, LB acts like it’s not her fault in the first place that he feels inadequate! She didn’t even apologise for saying what she did! He apologised for lying about not being in Paris but nope LB wasn’t in the wrong at all and didn’t have anything to apologise for 🙄… (yes the LadyNoir hug was amazing but I just wish it was under different circumstances!)

Also are we not gonna mention Gabriel Agreste almost starting WW3??? He wanted to launch a fucking missile!!!

Shanghai:

As I said before, this special is way better for several reasons.

We got MariChat! (Best side to the love square imo). This special actually had some semblance on a plot. Fei, whilst a bit op, was a cool character. It was nice to see Wang Cheng again.

However once again there were many problems.

A big one being Marinette yet again! (What a shock! 😒 I’ll come back to this). Another was that once again HM’s motivation has changed. How is getting the Prodigious gonna help bring back Emilie??

Back to Marinette… The fact that the words “Huh?! There must be some kind of mistake! I always know what's up with Adrien! … His 5 first names and every corresponding name date, his yearly schedule, even his shoe size! If there were anything to know about him, I would know it!” come out of her mouth whilst she is flipping through his schedule that she keeps in her pocketbook is a hugh red flag!!! That is not cute or adorable! That’s messed up and Adrien needs to fucking run and maybe possibly go into witness protection… Marinette is a full blown stalker! Not to mention the GPS she has (that could just be the find my friends app on iphone but still).

It also is extremely rude of her to use not only her great uncle’s birthday but also a lie about wanting to know her Chinese heritage in order to go to Shanghai to stalk her obsession, I mean crush. This could’ve been avoided if the Dupain-Chengs were going to Shanghai for the purpose of celebrating Wang Cheng’s bday and then Adrien just so happened to be in Shanghai.

Also this means LB left Paris without telling CN! I know CN did the same but again he can’t purify the akumas. Plus he has a reason he couldn’t stay in Paris, Mari just went cause her crush did. Great guardianship there Marinette.

This was also the last time CN actually did something. Even if it was for a short while before LB and her female partner took over (the beginning of a theme…)

Other things:

There are 2 other things that I wanna say but felt they needed a separate bit.

In Furious Fu, Su-Han has a rule book that he uses to tell Marinette which rules she has broken. At the end of the episode he tells her that is she breaks 1 more rule that he will take the Miraculous and the Miracle Box off her, which fair enough but wouldn’t it be helpful to leave the rule book with her?! How can she be wary of not breaking anymore rules when she doesn’t even know what the rules are??

Now the big one: Master Fu…

Where do I even start with him. He is so fucking manipulative!! He is Asian Dumbledore!

He decides to leave these extremely powerful jewels in the hands of 13 year olds! Surely leaving the miraculous to someone in their 20s would’ve been better!

He clearly favours LB over CN even though the Ladybug and Black Cat are supposed to be partners! Wouldn’t it make sense for them both to be in contact with the guardian from the start?? He randomly started introducing rules such as if LB and CN find out each other’s identities they would lose their miraculous… what kind of bullshit rule is that? It also came out of fucking nowhere!

Final Thoughts:

But to summarise all of that: Miraculous is on quite a steep decline but I’m invested at this point and I am genuinely curious as to where the fuck this will go.

Marinette needs professional fucking help before the writers even consider canonising Adrienette cause at the moment she is not what Adrien needs!

Adrien needs to stand up for himself! He needs to pull LB to the side and tell her what he feels and what he’s going through cause he is on the precipice of a breakdown!

(Small point that’s more to do with the fandom: when searching for fanfics it’s really annoying that Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir Bashing is a tag but Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Ladybug Bashing isn’t. Why does everyone think Marinette can do no wrong???)

#miraculous fandom #miraculous ladybug #miraculous salt #adrien agreste #marinette dupen chang #marinette salt #master fu salt #ladybug and chat noir #fandom salt #thomas astruc salt #adrien deserves better #miraculous season 4 #miraculous season 3 #miraculous rant

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itsthewritergal · 3 years

Text

nothing - D.M x reader. ODD ONE OUT series

you can read the other parts here

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

as always I love you all lots xx

“Don’t be so stupid Cedric” Y/N said as she walked out the library following the older boy

“I’m not being stupid” Cedric said gently “I really want to do this”

“I’m sure you do, but it’s not worth the glory if you die is it?” Y/N snapped

“I’m not going to die” He chuckled “Cedric I’m being serious”

“And so am I” Cedric replied firmly as they came to the door to the Hufflepuff common room. Y/N stopped in front of Cedric still half expecting him to change his mind. “Listen, I want to do this; more than I can explain. There isn’t anything you can say that will make me change my mind” he said

“Fine, but I’m not coming just to watch you die” Y/N snapped. Turning on her heel and storming down the corridor.

A few first year Gryffindors sneered as Y/N walked past, but she had gotten used to that since her and Draco became known. She knew she shouldn’t let it irritate her but this time she just couldn’t handle it.

“Is there a problem?” She snapped at them, all of them scatted. Y/N instantly felt bad after seeing the terror on their faces.

She continued on to the Common Room, not bothering to stop again. She barely even noticed the faces of the people who passed her, she didn’t want to see or speak to anyone. Especially since she couldn’t change Cedric’s mind. Y/N didn’t understand why he was so hellbent on the glory which came with winning the tournament, she didn’t understand why he couldn’t see that he had to survive the tournament before he gets to win it.

Muttering the password and throwing the door to the Common Room open, she was ready to climb in to bed and call it a day; that was until a pair of arms wrapped around her stomach.

“There’s my love” Draco hummed into her hair, they had gotten closer than anyone thought possible since the kiss; which nobody knew about.

“Draco” She breathed turning around and wrapping herself around him, the sobs fell loudly from her mouth.

“What’s wrong?” He said quickly pulling himself away from her, letting his eyes scan over her in an attempt to find the root of the issue.

“Cedric” She said

“You didn’t manage to change his mind?” Draco asked

“Not even slightly, he just got more and more sure that he wanted to do it” She said with a huff

“Oh Y/N” Draco said pulling her back into his chest. There was something soothing to Y/N about the way Draco just held her as she cried. He didn’t want her to stop or force her to feel better, instead he just held her.

“Are you healing now?” Y/N asked him quietly her fingers trailing the edge of his untucked shirt

“Yes” He said, Y/N knew he didn’t want to continue with the conversation. They had barely spoken about his bruises since he had shown her, but Y/N needed him to know just how much she wanted to take care of him

“I can always go to madame pomfrey and get a potion or something for you”

“I’m okay love” Draco said placing a gentle kiss to the top of her head.

— — — — —

“Cedric Diggory!” Dumbledore boomed as the piece of paper fluttered out of the Goblet of Fire.

Y/N held a hand over her mouth to stop the sobs from cutting through the cheering from Hufflepuff, Draco wrapped an arm protectively around her shoulders.

“It’ll be okay” Blaise whispered “He’s going to have all of Slytherin helping him, I promise you that he’s going to be okay”

But Y/N couldn’t reply, she couldn’t find the words. The feeling started deep down in her chest, something terrible was about to happen.

Just as the Great Hall settled into a quiet chatter, the goblet of fire began shooting flames out around it. Y/N knew that could only mean something bad, a piece of paper flew out of the Goblet and into Dumbledore’s hand.

“Harry Potter” Dumbledore called,

A hush fell across the Great Hall. Harry wasn’t old enough; Y/N doubted he would have even been able to get past the age line which Dumbledore drew, Hermione maybe, but certainly not Harry. Even Fred and George couldn’t do it.

“Everyone back to your dorm rooms” McGonagall called as Dumbledore whisked Harry and the other champions away.

Y/N paused as she watched the teachers all hurry out of the great Hall, she watched the smile drain off of Hermione’s and Ron’s face when it dawned on them what had just been decided. She was shaken out of her trance when Draco intwined his fingers with hers pulling her towards the hall way. The gesture did not go unnoticed by Pansy or Blaise.

Students lined the hallways and they walked towards the common room, whispers of the champions who they thought would win, how Harry’s name ended up in there, each question made Y/N worry more and more, Cedric got chosen. There was a chance, and if Harry was involved, a high chance that he wouldn’t make it out alive. Y/N stopped just as they reached the entrance to the common room.

“No” She said quietly, “I need to see Cedric” She said untangling her fingers from Draco’s

“Darling it’s late, why don’t you go see him tomorrow?” Draco suggested

“No” She shook her head “I need to see him” Draco knew there was little point in arguing, once Y/N had her mind set on something that was going to happen whether he liked it or not.

“I can go with you?” Blaise suggested

“Dawdling are we?”Snape said appearing behind them

“No Professor” Pansy answered quickly

“Well in you go” he said firmly

“Actually Professor” Y/N started

“Y/N don’t” Draco said placing a hand on her arm

“I have to go do something first,” She said

“And what would that be?” Snape asked folding his arms

“I wanted to go speak to Cedric Diggory, he’s been helping me with some work” She said

“As much as I appreciate the attempt to raise your grades, I do believe Mr Diggory will be rather busy tonight” Snape said,

“But sir—” Y/N started

“No buts, go to your dorm room” Snape said “Mr Zabbini, Mr Malfoy I can assume you will assure she gets there?” He asked

“Yes Professor” They both muttered

Snape turned back to the corridor and disappeared behind a corner.

“I hate you both” Y/N said to Blaise and Malfoy.

“That’s hardly fair love” Draco said as they walked into the common room, they sat on the sofas and Y/N rested her head on Draco’s chest, he ran his fingers through her hair in an attempt to sooth her

“What’s going on between you two?” Pansy asked,

“Yeah you’ve been weirdly touchy” Blaise piped up “Nothing” Draco shook his head with a laugh, Y/N stayed quiet wanting to know if he was going to tell them.

“We all know thats a lie” Pansy said “Did something happen over summer?” Blaise asked

“Are you two like secretly dating?” Pansy added

“Don’t be so ridiculous” Draco said, “We’re just friends”

The words cut into Y/N’s heart, she had thought they were more than ‘just friends’ especially after the other night, but apparently she had gotten it wrong. She didn’t think that ‘just friends’ kissed like that. Y/N sat herself up a little, pushing more of her weight on to the sofa rather than on Draco. Draco barely noticed as the girl moved away from him.

tag list

@whitewineandpizzapuffs @planet-naptune @thefandomplace @sebby-staan @poguesinablanket @witch-and-a-half @nojamsonmytoast @seanh-boredom @wanniiieeee @louweasleymalfoy @missryerye @big-galaxy-chaos @barnestatic @devilsbooksworld

Odd one out taglist @loxbbg @louweasleymalfoy @isabellamur @hellion-writes @i-have-my-issues

#Draco #Draco Malfoy #draco malfoy fic #draco angst #draco lucius malfoy #draco x reader angst #draco x you #draco x weasley #draco x y/n #draco x reader #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #odd one out

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miiamour · 3 years

Note

Hi!!!! I don’t know if you are taking requests, but could you write some ron weasly angst??? Maybe with a fluff ending? Maybe him making the reader feel insecure or something like that, I don’t know :) Love your writing so much :):)

am i that girl you dream of?

fem!slytherin!reader x ron weasley

summary: you and ron are in a secret relationship— scared of what others will think, but it still doesn’t stop you from getting insecure when he’s flirted with.

warnings: angst, fluff at the end, mentions of cheating, insecurities in relationship, alcohol, illusions to sex/making out hermione slander but only if you squint.

word count: 1.7k

a/n: eek thank you for the request <3 btw i’m literally 4 away from 200 so hopefully this helps me hit 200!

⊱ ──── ˗ˏˋ✧*♡*✧´ˎ˗ ────⊰

the smell of alcohol lingered throughout the room, along with the slight aroma that sweaty teenagers gave off when they’re dancing against each other. the lights in the gryffindor common room were slightly dimmed with a red tint, but still bright enough to see hermione granger flirting with your boyfriend.

granted, she didn’t know— nobody did, but that didn’t mean she have to grab onto his arm every time time he made a joke. it was upsetting to say the least, but it technically wasn’t your place to say anything but it took every ounce of self control to not walk over there and kiss him, showing everyone that ron belongs to you or ram hermione’s head into the wall; either worked for you.

you and ron had been secretly dating for a few months. you were both terribly afraid of what others thought, him more than you; he was a gryffindor with slytherin hating friends and you were a slytherin.

honestly, it was but fun in the beginning; pretending to hate each other, sneaking around, the thrill of possibly getting caught was exhilarating but now, now it just exhausting. you were tired of simply just hanging out in his dorm when no one was around; you wanted to be able to hold his hand in the halls and go out in hogsmeade dates like regular couples.

at times you questioned if he was ashamed of you but he assured you that he wasn’t— although you weren’t so sure now, it had been months and he had yet to tell a soul about the two of you and he was allowing hermione to hopelessly flirt with him.

to be fair, you weren’t sure if ron was even aware that she was flirting or not. but you, you knew. the whole common room could’ve seen it but ron wouldn’t recognize a flirt attempt if it danced naked in front of him wearing dobby’s tea cozy.

but you couldn’t do anything about it; you simply stood there, watching the boy you weren’t supposed to love but did, as girl— who, now that you think about it, is prettier— flirt with him.

your usual self confidence was being teared down, bit by bit, as you watched hermione bat her eyelids at your boyfriend. your finger danced along the rim of your red solo cup that was previously filled with beer, some muggle alcohol— which is nothing like butterbeer.

you honestly couldn’t blame ron, just look at her; she had perfect smile, big doe like brown eyes, and she was smart— ron always admired that about her. you knew that ron had a crush on hermione prior to the two of you dating but he always assured you that he didn’t have any feelings towards her anymore but watching them flirt gave you doubts.

“hey y/n, you alright?” blaise zabini had interrupted your thoughts, he attempted to look in the direction of your gaze “weasley? why’re you staring at him? you fancy him or something?” he asked teasingly.

“what? no! i’m not staring, i just— just zoned out, that’s all” you lied as you turned to the drink table to pour grab something stronger— firewhiskey.

blaise and you had been bestfriends since your first year, and you hadn’t told him about you and ron. you felt a bit guilty about it but ron always told you that you guys could tell people when the time was right, but the time was never right.

“alright then, but if you do fancy him you better hurry up because seems like him and hermione are going up to his dorm” he said casually while pointing his hand in their direction, ron and hermione were walking up towards the boy dormitory.

you turned so fast, you were sure your neck would’ve snapped. “what!” you felt your face redden and your stomach was doing flips.

“y/n!?” blaise called out after you but you were already half way to ron’s dorm.

your heart beat faster with every step you took, exasperation flooding through your veins. your hand— your body shook as it gripped on the door handle, you quickly prayed that what you thought what was going on, wasn’t actually going on.

you forcefully opened the door, the first thing you see being ron— shirtless. “ronald weasley! what the bloody hell do you think you’re doing!” you yelled out at him as if the door didn’t startle them enough.

“y/n! hey, what— what’re you doing here?” his eyes bulging out of his sockets as he jerks his head towards hermione.

“y/n?” hermione yelled out as she backed up away from ron with a rag in her hand.

you ignored hermione and turned to ron, “what am i doing here? i see you walk up to your dorm with another girl! what do expect me to do?” you walked closer to him, pushing on his bare chest with your finger.

“what? another girl?“ hermione mumbles to herself. “if i may—“ she interjects only for you to put your free hand in her face and shout out, “no!”

“how dare you ron! if you didn’t want to be with me anymore, just say so! merlin, you are infuriating—

“no, love, hermione spilled firewhiskey on my shirt!” he throws his hands up in defense as you kept walking towards him until his legs hit foot of his bed.

“i don’t give a damn if hermione spilled—“ you stopped yourself once you properly processed his words “she spilled firewhiskey on you?” you looked between ron and hermione, she was holding a rag, helping ron get cleaned up.

“yes, darling, firewhiskey; that’s why we came up here and why my shirt’s off” he explained before reaching for another shirt to slip on, and before you could apologize hermione spoke.

“l-love? darling? wait, wait— are you two together?” hermione babbled out like a fish out of water.

“surprise!” ron mocked jazz hands,

“nearly eight months” you add.

hermione’s nostrils flared as she walked up to ron “why. didn’t. you. tell. me.” she hit him with the rag between each word.

“y/n, i apologize if he has done anything stupid in the last eight months; he hadn’t had a girl tell him what he’s doing wrong” she said half-jokingly.

well now you felt worse; you thought hermione had tried to after ron, they really were just friends.

“i’ll leave you two alone now” hermione began to walk out the door, “oh and don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone; secrets safe with me” she said after peering her head through the door and ‘zipping’ her lips together and throwing away the key.

you sat next to ron, your heart was slowing down from the fast pace it was previously going at. after a few moments you started, “i’m sor—“

“i’m sorry” ron interrupted.

“why’re you sorry? i’m the one who went all crazy girlfriend.” you shifted closer to him.

“it’s understandable. if i saw you go up to your dorm with another guy, let’s be honest, i’d be way crazier” he placed a hand on your knee and sparks erupted. you were so sensitive to his touch that even the slightest graze of an elbow when you sat next to each other left your stomach doing flips.

“but i still shouldn’t have. you assured me that you and hermione were just friends and i didn’t believe you— i was just being insecure” you said the last part i’m a quiet voice, slightly hoping that he didn’t hear.

ron moved closer to you and wrapped an arm around you “there is no need to be insecure, you’re the only girl i want to be with”

“am i?” you asked, shifting away from ron.

“what’s that supposed to mean? there aren’t any other girls that flirt with me— right?” ron’s eyebrows furrowed.

“this isn’t about girls flirting won’t you l, i’m just saying— do you really want to be with me? am i that girl you dream of?” you stood up in front of him. your throat burned with every breath.

“of course i want to be with you!” this time he stood up.

“then why do act like you’re ashamed? why do we have to keep our relationship hidden?” you yelled out, partially startling ron. tears brimmed your eyes but you refused to let them down.

he walked up to you and grabbed the sides of you face. ron’s eyes were glossy and sunken; filled with guilt and sympathy. “i am not ashamed of you. i’m scared of what people would think about us— people would think ‘what a weird couple, she’s way too fit for him” he flayed his arms mockingly.

you playfully slapped his shoulder, “you care way too much about what others think, ron. besides, i’m tired of sneaking around.” you said more seriously.

“so what? you want to break up?” ron sat back down on the bed and pressed his lips together to keep from smirking.

you took a deep breath to keep yourself from ripping ron’s head off, “no, i— ugh, nevermind” you began to walk away

“i’m joking!” ron gently tugged your arm, and pulled you towards so you stood in between his legs. “y/n, do you want to be my public girlfriend?” he asked you as he wrapped his arms around you.

you put a finger to your chin, pretending to be thinking about it. “hmm, no thanks” you replied.

ron began poking and tickle at your sides.

“you know, if this is your way of getting me to be your girlfriend— stop it!— it’s not a very good one” you giggled in between words.

“merlin, you’re lucky i love you” ron breathed out, not quite realizing what he said.

“you what?” you asked breathlessly.

“oh shit, erm— i love you. yeah. i love you. that’s okay right? i mean you don’t have to say it back but if you want—“

you interrupted ron by kissing him, “i love you too” you mumbled against his lips.

everything worked out. ron loved you and you loved him back. fireworks erupted in your stomach every time you kissed him and your brain went foggy; focusing on nothing but him.

turns out that you are that girl he dreams of.

taglist: @keepawaythenargles @anywherebuthere @myloveforluna click here to join!

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stuff-from-the-void-matron · 3 years

Text

Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (11)

(c!technoblade x fem!reader)

(people showed chapter 10 some nice love so here’s chapter 11. sorry it took so long to get out. I threw my back out and doing just about anything has been physical torture. but I’m starting to feel better so here’s hoping I’ll write more soon. but remember, please comment and reblog. they keep me motivated! <3)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things settled down pretty well after the election. Almost unbelievably so. Wilbur pretty much completely disappeared afterwards. You felt worried and voiced your concerns with Niki, saying you hoped he wasn’t terribly upset he’d lost the election. You understand he no doubt felt incredibly attached to the title of president, and he may feel resentful of you for ‘stealing’ it from him. Niki smiled at you, glad you were being kinder about this than the other contestants would be in your shoes, but sighed and said,

“Yeah, he’ll probably be upset for a while. But I’m sure he’ll come around to accept you as the new president.”

You gave her a thankful smile, even if you didn’t quite believe her words. But then you paused and wondered if maybe, despite all your reservations about the brunet man, it was possible to smooth things over with him? Maybe all you needed to do was sit and have a talk with him. Perhaps he’d gone insane in the original timeline because both Schlatt and Quackity were… well, for lack of a nicer term, total dicks to him. They were openly antagonistic to the former president, banishing him and his younger brother from the very nation they fought and died for, which no doubt added to his crumbling mental state after L’manberg chose a new leader.

But maybe you could be different from Schlatt and Quackity. Honestly you had no desire to be cruel to Wilbur, though you would not put up with any of his BS, and honestly you hoped to have a neutral relationship with the man. So you decided right then that there was no harm in trying. Your smile brightened and you nodded and said to the blonde woman,

“You’re probably right, he just needs some time. Maybe after a few days he and I can have lunch and just talk. Clear the air between us. I’ve never been president before so I’m sure he’d be a great help in getting me better settled in!”

Niki was super glad you were being so chill about all of this. She knew you were the best choice for president. That’s probably why she’d voted for you. (yeah she’d heard your little speech and was really moved) But she’d never tell Wilbur that. He fully believed she’d voted for Coconut2020, and to be fair she had intended to until she was so moved by your speech. You had a way with words that just put the listener at ease.

“Yeah, I’m sure things will be alright,” Niki replied with a cheerful smile.

-0-

You settled into being president pretty well all things considered. There wasn’t as much work as you were expecting there to be for a president. But perhaps your only frame of reference (the US president) was a bit different than your current job (l’manberg president). L’manberg was super small actually. Especially compared to the United States. Hell, Punz’ house was almost as big as L’manberg if you remember right.

You’re glad there wasn’t much presidential work to do at that moment. Because you wouldn’t have had time to juggle that work plus going back to your village and packing up some of your stuff in your ender chest before telling the villagers (and azo) what actually happened while you were gone. Which had been an ordeal in itself. You felt bad for just leaving to a new place so out of the blue. But you felt obligated to complete the role of president given to you. You’d feel less obligated if there was some other option you felt safe passing the torch to. Someone not a child. That left out every minor on this server and Wilbur.

Part of you considered Fundy and Niki for the job but another part of you doubted if they’d be able to handle it. Honestly they shouldn’t have to either. It’s no secret that being president is one of the most stressful jobs a person can have. Being in charge of the safety and well-being of a group of people is enough to turn anyone’s hair grey. Even if the group was just like 10 or so people like L’manberg had. You remember seeing a post about pictures at the start and end of American presidents’ time in office. And each president looked at least a decade older in each after picture. Complete with wrinkles and grey hair. Those happened in FOUR years! Their jobs were so stressful that they aged 10+ years in only 4 years.

You were pulled from your thoughts by Tommy practically shouting “We’re here!!” as you all made it over the hill that led to your village. The first thing you saw was the towering bamboo wall around the perimeter of the place. You’d been so in your own head that you’d actually forgotten about the two boys on either side of you. They’d insisted they accompany you to your village as ‘presidential bodyguards’ despite the fact you said you would be fine. They’d practically demanded to go, to ensure the ‘new prez’ didn’t get attacked on the journey. Amused and touched that they cared, you’d finally relented and let them come along. You’d only be gone a short while anyways. At least that’s what you told yourself.

It didn’t take long to pack up everything you wanted to take with you to L’manberg. You put all the nice gifts the villagers gave you (as well as a couple of the banners you made) and some of the stuff you made and packed it away into a shulker box you pulled from the Creative inventory before picking up said box and putting it inside your ender chest. Then you just picked that chest up and tucked it safely in your inventory and you were basically done. With packing anyways.. You still had to talk to the villagers and let them know you had to move away for a while. But you doubted they’d be heartbroken or anything. Maybe bummed out but they’d understand. It’s not like they’d be lost without you. They’d been living in this world long before you showed up and they’d probably be here long after you left.

Then you were ringing the village bell. And like every time you did the villagers all poked their heads out from wherever they were to see who rang it and what was going on. And when they saw you they brightened and hurried over to see what was happening. They gathered around you and the bell, murmuring curiously between themselves. You sighed and cleared your throat, gathering their attention to you before you hesitated, not entirely sure what to say. Should you explain the entire story from start to finish? No, probably not. That would take a while and you felt like they’d get bored fast. But just blurting out that you were leaving felt too abrupt and blunt. Though your indecision ended up not mattering because Tubbo finally lost patience with the silence and just let the metaphorical cat out of the bag in his usual laid back candid way.

“Are you gonna tell them you’re moving away?”

Oh that caught the villagers’ attention and suddenly you were surrounded by displeased grunts and hums, like surround sound stereos. You sighed and confirmed yes, you were. So with the news out there you started explaining what happened the day before, or at least a shortened version of it. You mentioned how you’d gone to support Tommy, placing a hand on his shoulder as you said this. Then you said how you’d sorta advised everyone to vote for who they felt would lead them smartly, and how you guess they took that as you entering the presidential ring.. And finally how you’d won the election by some points and how you’d not wanted to reject their trust so you’d accepted the job…

“Reader is our new president!!” Tommy practically shouted, clearly excited.

Though from the disgruntled murmurs from the villagers they didn’t seem happy.. But you told them it would be okay. You’d come and visit them as often as you could while juggling your new job. But even with that promise they didn’t seem happy. Your shoulders slumped a bit and without thinking you said,

“I’m not happy about having to leave the village and move away either. But I made a promise to the people of L’manberg, one I intend to keep.”

Despite not feeling the best about this you were determined to keep your word.

“Besides, it’s not like I can just pack up the village and move you all next to L’manberg!” you said with a flippant wave of your hand.

But the idea didn’t sound too bad to the villagers. They basically worshipped you as their guardian deity. So if loading up all their possessions and hauling them to a new place meant they got to stay within reach of their deity then so be it. They’d still be living in squalor if it hadn’t been for your kindness and generosity, so they wanted to follow you wherever you went. Be it sunny skies, harsh rain, freezing snow.

So they all made excited grunts and you blinked at them, catching on to their train of thought pretty fast. You shook your head, missing the confused looks the two teen boys were shooting between you and the villagers, and said they couldn’t follow you to L’manberg. Hearing this made the boys’ eyebrows shoot up and they started asking if the villagers wanted to come live in L’manberg. You sighed and said they seemed to, yes, but it wasn’t viable because there was nowhere for them to live! Moving them all on a spur of the moment thing would be reckless. Not only would the journey be very hard on them and take quite a while but there’s also no homes available for them in L’manberg.

“We could make some houses for them if they want to move to L’manberg!” Tubbo said with a little grin, not seeing the issue with them coming over.

You rubbed a hand down your face, careful not to jostle your mask too much. But then you sighed and finally caved in.

“Okay, you can all move next to L’manberg,” you began, but before they could cheer you cut them off with, “BUT! They can’t leave today. I refuse to let them take the whole long journey to L’manberg just so they can be homeless when they get there.”

You said you and some others (who you would pay) would build a new village next door to L’manberg for them. And once it was complete you would come back and help ferry them all over safely. But you might have to take them over in small groups to avoid hostile mobs and stuff. Though despite all the risks the villagers seemed quite happy with everything. So you pulled out your notebook, the same one you’d used when you first showed up to the village actually, and made a note to start construction on a new village to either the North or East of L’manberg. Or whatever side had better building room. But now that that all was settled you bid the villagers goodbye, saying you’d start construction as soon as possible.

With that out of the way you decided to pay a visit to Azo. You missed the adorable little piglin and hoped she was doing okay. Your boys followed you into the Nether, asking what you needed from there so badly. That made you pause and realize they’d never officially met Azo! You smiled down at them and said you’d sort of taken up guardianship of a little piglin girl who lost her parents. You’d expected questions and some comments but got nothing but silence in return, which left you feeling a bit confused. But when you glanced over at the boys you saw Tubbo looking lost in thought and Tommy looking mildly upset. This caused you to stop short, which made them pause and look back at you.

“What’s wrong?” you couldn’t help but ask.

But they both waved you off, Tubbo with a soft ‘what do you mean?’ and Tommy with an almost harsh sounding ‘nothing’, both of which didn’t sound the least bit convincing. So you tilted your head to the side and in a firmer (but still gentle) tone you asked again what was wrong. Tommy’s nose scrunched up and he crossed his arms, adamantly saying nothing and asking if you all could hurry up and see ‘this kid’ since you had to hurry back to L’manberg. Tubbo tried to piggyback off Tommy, his smile attempting to be brighter as he agreed, saying he wanted to meet your ‘new kid’. That’s when it hit you..

“Are you two upset that I adopted a kid?”

Tommy wasn’t very subtle with his feelings, his loud “WHAT?! NO!” didn’t convince you of his supposed ‘uncaring’ regarding the situation. Tubbo however reacted slower than his friend, like he was processing what you’d asked before he gave a laugh that sounded too stilted to be genuine and denied being upset, saying that was ridiculous. Tommy actually started walking away, heading in the direction you three had followed when you were together here last time, with the goatish brunet watching him anxiously. But you called for him to stop and come back, maybe a touch sterner than you’d wanted. But when the blond came back to you he refused to look at you, just scowling down at his feet. You felt your heart ache at the sight and let out a calm breath.

You wrapped one arm around the blond’s shoulders and the other around his back, pulling him into a comforting hug. You laid your cheek on the top of his mop of hair, glancing down at Tubbo who was shifting between watching you both and glancing away nervously. Without much thought you removed the hand holding Tommy’s back and instead used it to carefully tug the brunet boy into the hug. They just stood there at first, still and awkward almost. But once Tubbo wrapped his arms around your hips and Tommy’s back his blond friend quickly caved and sunk into your warmth, wrapping his arms around you both tightly, like he was afraid you’d both disappear.

You took a breath and gently began to rock the two back and forth, missing how Tommy’s eyes pricked with hot tears as he heard your steady heartbeat against his ear. After a couple minutes of just standing there relaxed into the hug you said quietly but with as much emotion as you could put into it,

“Tommy, Tubbo, please talk to me. I can do many things, but reading minds is not one of them.”

You felt your shirt become warm and you frowned and hugged them tighter,

“If something is bothering you two, if you’re sad or upset or angry then you need to tell me so I can maybe do something to make you feel better. I never wanna see either of you upset, so please… talk to me?”

The air around you three was unintentionally heavy, only the sound of fire crackling nearby broke up the silence. It was killing you to remain quiet but you didn’t want to push them to speak. That would just make them clam up and possibly push you away. So you waited, just holding and rocking them as you did. And your eyes brightened when your patience was rewarded.

“.... Why’d you have to go and get a kid?”

You half expected for Tommy to be the one to break the silence, he was always so against the quiet. But no, instead it had been Tubbo who finally buckled and voiced his thoughts. You couldn’t help but ask what he meant. And he sort of stuttered over his words, not sounding exactly sure what he wanted to say before he got his thoughts and mouth to cooperate.

“I thought you already-.. I mean you have us.. Why’d you-..”

If your heart could physically break like glass then you knew after hearing that it would be in a hundred pieces on the floor. You couldn’t help but pull them closer and bury your face between theirs, unknowingly letting out a softened keening sound.

“I want you both to listen, just because I take another child under my wing doesn’t mean I no longer care about you two. I don’t think I could ever stop caring about you. You’re my boys, and I-....” here is where you hesitated, not wanting so sound weird but you continued,

“If you both want… I mean since neither of you have one to my knowledge… I’d happily be your mom.”

Shy isn’t exactly how you’d describe the two boys you’d begun to care for, but there was no other word accurate enough to describe how they agreed to your offer to be their mom. Tubbo gave an almost meek, “alright, sure” while holding onto your waist and Tommy gave a long-suffering sigh while trying to discreetly wipe his eyes and said, “I guess you’re cool enough to be my mum. Barely though.” That caused you to let out a loud guffaw, your grip on them loosening enough to where you could ruffle the blond’s hair.

“Ohhhhh, Big man himself thinks I’M cool? Very high praise~”

The heavy atmosphere lightened and your laughter had the two boys laughing too. But then a sly grin took over your face and you chuckled. The sound alerted the boys of your mischievous mood and they looked up when you started talking.

“Well, now that you’ve accepted me as your mom I’m legally obligated to do all sorts of ‘Mom Stuff’, I hope you realize that. Like making sure you both eat things besides bread and meat, make sure you sleep regularly, and do the spit thing when you’ve got dirt on your face.”

They gave you a look that was a mixture of confusion and mild disgust, and Tommy couldn’t help but blurt out,

“What the fuck do you mean by ‘spit thing’??”

Unbeknownst to him, he’d activated your Mom Trap Card and your grin grew into a smirk and you raised your hand, casually commenting that he seemed to have a bit of dirt on his cheek, and then you licked your thumb and moved it towards his face. He shrieked and practically threw himself backwards to avoid your spit covered finger. But you still had your arm around his shoulders so he didn’t get far. He rapidly screamed out a verbal blur of ‘nonononoNONONO!’ that had Tubbo nearly doubling over, howling with laughter.

Though his laughter abruptly cut off with a gasp when Tommy escaped your hold, causing you to turn your sights on him. He let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like the bleat of a goat before turning and running from you. You just cackled and chased after him, your longer legs giving you the advantage. You caught up with him before he knew it and lifted him in a backwards hug. Now it was Tommy’s turn to laugh at Tubbo.

But you did let him down, without cleaning his face, and smiled down at the pair and said sincerely,

“All joking aside… I think you two would make a cool pair of big brothers..”

Tommy took that and ran with it, saying of COURSE he would be! He was practically Tubbo’s big brother already! Which just caused Tubbo to argue with him that uh, NO, he was older than Tommy! So HE was the older brother out of the two of them, if anything! And oh boy that caused them both to go back and forth, arguing about who was the ‘older brother’ between them. Tubbo insisted it was him because he was born first but Tommy insisted it was him because he was taller. You just shook your head and led the bickering duo down the familiar path to Azo’s little ‘house’ you built her. And as you reached the open area you saw her outside the house playing with a couple other baby piglins. But when she looked up and saw you she squealed happily and all but sprinted over to you. You made sure to bend down and hold your hands out to catch her.

She was so excited to see you again that she totally missed the two boys standing at your sides. At least until she heard them and then she stiffened and stared down at Tubbo from her place in your arms. Neither boy really knew what to say so you decided to intervene and put out introductions. You tapped her hand and smiled down at her, helping her worry ease a bit.

“Azo, I missed you! I want to introduce you to my sons! This,” you gestured to Tubbo, “is Tubbo. And this,” you turned your head and pointed to the blond on the other side, “is Tommy. They’re both very nice. And they wanted to meet you!”

You turned so you and Azo were both facing the boys and saw them smiling genuinely. Relief flooded you, thinking they were actually glad to meet the little piglin, unaware the smiles were more stemming from the fact you’d called them your sons so easily.

But you saw the wariness still on Azo’s face and worried she’d not like her new brothers. Suddenly you got a bright idea and your smile widened as you spoke up and said,

“Hey, don’t you two have a gift for Azo? Maybe something yellow and shiny~?”

Tubbo’s mouth dropped down into an ‘o’ as he realized what you meant. Then he elbowed Tommy and then pulled open his inventory and started looking through it. Tommy glared at him, moving his arm away after getting jabbed, but then his eyebrows raised when he saw his best friend pull out a gold ingot from his inventory. Then he understood what you meant and hurried to look through his inventory as well. Thankfully he did have some gold ingots leftover from when he was crafting golden apples.

Azo perked up when she saw the gold ingot Tubbo had taken from his inventory. And when he offered it to her she couldn’t hold back the happy snort she let out as she joyfully accepted it. You giggled at how she admired the saffron colored bar. And when Tommy extended his own gold ingot you laughed when Azo’s little tail began to swish back and forth in glee as she took that one too. She looked so cute as she admired her new items. You rubbed her back and said,

“See? They’re pretty nice, right? Why don’t we go have something to eat? And we can hang out.”

The tiny piglin seemed more than happy with that plan and snorted happily. You carried her towards the house, her little friends having long since scurried off. The teens behind you followed your lead, joining you in the house. You sat Azo down and suggested she show off her toys to Tubbo and Tommy, which she started doing gladly. The two played with her while you brewed some tea and crafted some cookies. Chilled rosehip tea and shortbread cookies were on the menu and after it was all done you laid it out on the table before calling them over. The boys were all too happy for the chilly drink, the cold giving them reprieve from the heat of the Nether. But Azo was shocked by the cold, not having experienced something like this before. It took a bit of explanation to get her to give it a try, and despite how it made her shiver she seemed to really like it. And cookies were always popular. So the plate was emptied in a flash.

As you sat with the three, listening to Tommy brag to Azo about how ‘cool and tough’ he was and how he’s practically a hero in the Overworld while Tubbo interjected with contradictions, you felt yourself smile serenely; truly happy where you were right then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@lady-bee-fechin @kacchasu @putridjoy @lunawritesstories @galaxypankitty3030 @paradigmax @zachariethememerie @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles @nikkineeky @artsimatsu @hufflepuff-demigod @corpiet @beepa99 @anxiousnarwhale @bananaaddictmilkshake @realitycanbeajerk @lostandsouciant @thegeekisheere @sparkling-gayyy @woman-soot @xxtwizztedxx @v10dw4lk3r

#technoblade x reader #techno x reader #dream smp x reader #dsmp x reader #mcyt x reader #c!tommy #c!tubbo #c!niki #c!wilbur #c!fundy

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iguessilovebakugou · 4 years

Text

Kill the Lights and Kiss My Eyes || Domestic!Bakugou x Wife!Reader [ +18 ]

I’ll be honest, I’m still so confused what HOH!* is, but...fuck, I know what domestic smut is. I guess it’s finally time I take the fucking plunge, baby.

Congrats Anon - this is my first smut drabble. I hope you're happy.

CW: NSFW, Oral, Cunnilingus, Rough Kinks: Lip biting, body worship, powerplays, Bakugou on his knees, Rougher Sex Word Count: 2.8K Pairings: Pro!Bakugou x F!Reader

“So moving forward, I really think we should start having the clients be aware of the changes before they even get to that portion of the contract.”

“I agree. I think that way, we’ll have ample time to inform them of the changes to how we handle their business.”

“Nng, Katsuki what the fuck?”

“Do you think we should create a contract specifically for this change? I think that might be best, that way they can’t say they never heard about it.”

“P-Please, I...I’m in a-”

“That’s probably a good idea. Mrs. Bakugou - what do you think? Is that something you could do?”

He had been a terror the second he got home...and he had only been home for all of 2 minutes.

He had been gone on some sort of mission for an entire month. The first week was fine, the second wasn’t so bad. The third? The third was torture. He would never say it, never admit it out loud, but he missed you. It was subtle ways - to mask the fact that you were all he could think about those past two days. Letting you know what time he would be arriving, complaining the whole ordeal was taking to long, and in the moments where he could - calling you and just letting the silence hang around you. Getting as close to you as he humanly possibly could.

The moment you heard that door open, you knew Katsuki would be...unruly, but this was...okay, it wasn’t entirely unexpected.

“I think her connection went down again.”

It happened a lot actually.

His nails drug down the skin of your thighs, leaving bright and angry pink marks until they his hands gripped your pelvis. With a yelp, you were tugged further down into your office chair - which was already pretty damp with his affections. You were left a groveling, mewling mess as he continued his attack. The knew position gave him ample room to lavish your clit with more attention, running the tip of his tongue over and around it in circles before diving back inside you. You tried to get a word out edge wise, but the moment his tongue slid against your walls, you were done.

“Fuck...fuck, babe.” A shiver shot up your spine as his tongue pushed further inside you. It reached as far as it could go, lapping at the very core of you. Each movement drew out the most desperate of cries. He had only just begun and already you were quickly dissolving into a pile of rather pathetic whimpers as you curled around him. "Please, I...I’m...”

“Mrs. Bakugou, can you hear us?”

If you didn’t respond, they would grow suspicious. You could get in trouble, you would have to try and explain why your connection only every had a problem on the days your husband got home. You reached, desperately for the spacebar on your desktop, trying to let them know you were in fact still there.

But Katsuki’s hand shot out, quickly abandoning your thigh and snatching your wrist. He didn’t pull away from you, refusing to slide his tongue out from inside you. You looked down at him, through lidded eyes. Another moan, fingers gripping the arms of your work chair when you felt the growl in his throat, felt the words he was trying to say against your lips. They sent shockwaves up to the top of your skull and curling your toes. You looked down at him through lidded eyes, desperate for some semblance of reprieve.

Don’t answer it.

“...ah.”

Fuck Katsuki Bakugou. Fuck the fact he knew just how to touch you, to melt your will just enough to mold you into whatever shape he desired. If he wanted to touch you, wanted to drive you over the edge at this very moment, who were you to deny him that? Without another moment’s hesitation, you reached over your chair and grabbed the cord connecting your computer to the outlet. With a grunt, you yanked, tugging the plug out of the wall and sending it scattering to the wooden floor with a Thud!

The voices from your meeting stopped and the screen behind you went dark. The only thing keeping your office lit was the sun, which was already starting to nestle behind the trees of your backyard. Katsuki paused, only a moment to watch what you were doing. His expression, while cautious, seemed...surprised. His eyes glowed in the light, his panting now more pronounced that the voices of your superiors weren’t droning on above it.

You swallowed, harshly. Your mouth was dry and your tongue felt like cotton. It was still hard to breathe, still hard to think - no hope for any sort of long winded sentences. But he had stopped, watching you now, and waiting - for you. He had been so terribly awful, but you could see the patience nestled in his face. He wasn’t going to make a move until you spoke.

Your voice was low, deep in your chest as your fingers found their way into his wild, blond hair.

“If you’re gonna fuck me - then fuck me. ”

It wasn’t a just an invitation - it was something that he loved almost as much as you: a challenge. His eyes turned more wild and with another guttural noise, his lips curled up into a smile.

“You’re gonna regret asking.”

If you had any doubt left in your mind that he was telling the truth, it was swiftly quelled. Katsuki shut his eyes and pushed back against you. Your chair - propelled by the sheer force of him - went crashing back against the wall. The action yanked a gasp from you as his tongue was forced further inside you, reaching a new depth you hadn’t expected. And then it was gone. Still, his mouth refused to leave you, his lips now wrapped around your clit. You felt empty, only for a moment - until two of his calloused fingers slide in deep and curled, rubbing your warmth quick and tight.

You cried out, wrapping your legs around his shoulders to draw him closer. To keep him right where the two of you wanted him to be. No longer inhibited by some meetings about contracts that didn’t matter, you let your cries be heard. You threw your head back against the window, resting it there while and moaned to your hearts content. Your neighbors would hear surely, but let them. It shouldn’t be a secret that your husband knew how to unravel you, that the man you loved had memorized every tiny spot that turned you into a puddle at his touch.

Katsuki’s eyes never left your face. You could feel him watching you. And when his fingers curled up further, tugging at your core - fireworks erupted. It wasn’t enough to send you over the edge, not just yet, but it was enough to draw your back up straight. Your fingers tightened around his hair, your legs wrapped tighter around him. “Keep...that...again...please.”

You could feel him chuckle against you. The whine came from you, even before he drew his fingers back. His tongue was drawn over the top of you. In another breath, his lips wrapped around your clit. And he started there again.

In moments like this, Katsuki never played fair. You were certain half of what he did was to torture you, while the other half was because he liked watching you squirm and wiggle under his touch. He would never say it out loud but you knew he adored seeing you like this, knowing full well no one else in the world got to see you such a begging, needy mess. It was his little secret to keep. And he was so very good at keeping secrets.

He deserved to be rewarded for it.

He didn’t expect you to reach out. He didn’t expect your fingers to trail under his jaw bone, to pull him up and away from you. For a moment, he snarled, not wanting to budge from his position. But then he felt the urgency and, albeit begrudgingly, he lifted his head. His eyebrow was cocked, his eyes narrowed and his glistening lips curled into a sneer. “What?”

You gripped him by the fabric of his shirt, tugging forward and up to meet you. The steadfast resolution to bring you to climax quickly faded as you pressed your lips to his. A chaste kiss at first, soft and sweet. One more, drawing him into you...

Your teeth found his bottom lip, gripping it and tugging it back, nipping hard enough to break the skin and draw a drop of blood against your tongue. You smirked at the sharp intake of his breath, the way his body tensed at the action. For as much as he knew how to unravel you, you equally knew the little notions that could ruin him. The right places to touch him to make his knees buckle, to make him chase you for more. And - like clockwork - the moment your fingers slid down his abdomen to run over the rise of him, Katsuki’s entire being shivered, his body leaned into your touch.

You had been with him long enough to know when the façade was crumbling to the ground. You could feel him twitch under you touch, feel the pulse of his desire. His hands against your thighs gripped you just a bit tighter, his skin grew a bit hotter, his kiss was just a bit deeper.

The groan you had elicited from Katsuki’s chest was intoxicating. You could feel the rumble underneath your skin, crawling up your veins and fogging your thoughts. The existence of you was his drug, just as he was to you.

You took advantage of his parted lips, sliding your tongue against his. He reciprocated in his own way, immediately fighting for dominance. The chair slammed back against the wall, but this time you were prepared and so was he. You slipped effortlessly out of your chair and into his lap. His hands, calloused and rough, gripped your ass to pull you tight against him. He grinded up against you in abandon, grunting softly against your lips. His hands on your ass squeezed, making sure to hold you taut against him as he desperately rutted against you.

The waiting was turning into madness - and judging by how quickly his hand reached for the hem of his pants - he readily agreed. It was difficult for him, fumbling with the buckle and edging the fabric down over his hips. You almost laughed, and would have if his mouth hadn’t captured yours before anything more than a gasp could escape.

And then you felt it: the head of him, dripping with want, press against your entrance. One final time, you felt his eyes on you. Behind his grunting and growling, behind his shaking fingers, he was asking. Making sure this was okay. If you were alright with this.

In response, you pressed down against him. “Please,” You begged, just a whisper in his ear. You felt him quake beneath you. “Fuck me, Katsuki.”

He drove up into you and the force of his weight inside of you - although familiar - always drew a cry. Katsuki paused, only for a moment, each breath he took shaking. In that moment, there was nothing but the weight of him inside you - every glorious inch of him. The world was empty - save for the two of you in that office. You opened your eyes, taking him in. The wild blonde hair, the rough skin dotted with sweat, the way his shoulders rose and fell as he tried to contain himself. As he tried to keep himself steady and not rut into you like an animal.

He wanted to make sure this lasted as long as possible. There was no telling when he would be dragged away from you again.

Your fingers ran through his hair, gently holding it to tug his face out from where it was buried in the nape of your neck. Gently, you peppered kisses over his face - across his forehead, over his eyes, on the tip of his nose. There was a moment his hips bucked, to try and reestablish who was in control...but it faltered quickly. He soaked in every ounce of affection, relished every gentle touch you bestowed upon him.

His voice, so quiet and ragged when he finally spoke, was not a surprise.

“I’m going to ruin you.”

You huffed, your lips against his temple, dragging against his skin. “Then ruin me.”

He was up in a flash. A moment later, your back was against the desk as his mouth resumed its assault on yours. It was smart - seeing as you cried out in absolute ecstasy when he began to pound into you.

As promised - Katsuki was most certainly trying to ruin you. Your hands scrambled, your fingers wrapped around his arms, gripping him as he began to pound into you. There was no hesitation - each thrust was deliberate, their soul purpose to drag each and every lewd noise from you that they could. And they did. While he refused to pull his mouth from yours, that didn’t stop you from moaning, gasping and mewling every time his cock buried itself inside you.

The sound of his hips hitting your ass with such force was almost enough to drown out the sound of the desk skirting across the floor. You paid no mind as the pictures lining it’s edge went clattering to the floor and shattering upon impact. You paid no mind as your phone - buzzing away on the other side - sliding off the desk as well. You tried to keep your mind straight, to try and stay grounded. But you couldn’t - Katsuki was too much.

His thrusts grew faster, less timed, erratic as he drew closer and closer to his breaking point. You finally opened your eyes, looking up to see him staring down at you. The smirk on his face was a perfect blend of frustrating and heart pounding. You greeted it with your own smile. “F-...fuck, babe...”

“Beg for it.”

You grunted when his hands joined in, slamming you down against his thrusts. You gritted your teeth, swearing again. “Fuck, fuck, fuck...” You gasped when he did it again...and again...and again.

“Beg. For. It.”

Each word was accentuated with a thrust. Each thrust was accentuated with a cry of pleasure. God he knew he was going to get his way. He knew that no matter what, you wanted the same thing as he did. He was just going to torture you until he heard you admit it out loud.

Just for him. Only for him.

“I...I want you to...Fuck, Katsuki!”

“What do you- ah...” His hips refused to slow as he let out a grunt. He lowered his body down, pressing his chest against yours and trapping you between him and the desk. His lips found their way to your ear, his voice low - barely above a growl. “What do you want me to do?”

He knew what you wanted him to do. “I...I want you to...”

Your arms wrapped around his neck, your face burying itself against his shoulder. Your mind was staring to go blank as you dissolved into a mess of curses and moans. But he wasn’t going to stop until you answered him.

“Cum...I want you to...cum...”

“Where?”

“Fucking damn it, Katsuki!”

“Where?”

The heat inside you was unbearable now. The pleasure was forcing all logical thought out the window.

“I...just...”

You weren’t going to last much longer at this rate.

“please...”

And judging by the absolute bliss in his eye, he wasn’t going to hold out much longer either.

“I-Inside! Cum inside me!!”

You allowed the pleasure to crash over you - the pent up frustration from Katsuki being gone for so long, the undeniable desire for him to touch you, to fuck you, to love you like only he could. With a final cry of his name and the arch of your back, it all went white.

You felt his arms wrap around you, pulling you close as he rode you through it. You’re still gasping for breath, the fog he lost you in starting to clear, when you realize his teeth are against you neck, muffling the . You can feel him erupting inside of you, grunting as he fills you.

The two of you are panting, sweating messes; your office is in an even worse state. You’re a tangled mess of limbs, of gentle touches and dragging nails and...

“Fuck...” He breathes, letting out another breath. He doesn’t speak again until he’s lifted you up off the desk, weakly lowering the both of you down onto the floor. You kiss him once more before he slips out of you, which he happily reciprocates. He pulls back, looking down at you, his crimson eyes flashing.

“I fucking missed you.”

So...first smut....I hope you liked it - cause like...fuck bro...

I drank tea and burned through 3 different candles trying to write this and I’m still not like...super okay with it.

Send me more smut asks - I need to get used to writing it.

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