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#Can't say I love how this turned out but it's also the first 'real' art I've done in AGES
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Cupid doesn’t gamble
Summary: Leon, a mafia boss whose empire dominates all casinos on the west coast, meets a young girl amidst a game of poker. What would happen if he threw all his chips and gambled his love for you?
Warning: Mafia!Boss!Leon x Female!Reader. Eventual smut (I know y’all want this so bad). Slow burn. Romantic. Leon is a gentleman. Characters are 21+ (makes sense for casinos). Researched topics. Mentions of violence. Read at your own discretion.
Word Count: 6,620
A/N: So, I’d like to start off with saying that being in the Mafia is not okay. Al Capone was NOT a good guy. But, this is fiction. None of this is real so before I get myself canceled (pls don’t) trust that I did my research. I thought of Salvatore by LDR writing this lol.
[II] [III]
“The summer's wild and I've been waiting for you all this time I adore you, can't you see, you're meant for me. Summer's hot but I've been cold without you, I was so wrong not to doubt your Medellin, tangerine dreams,” - Salvatore, Lana Del Rey
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Poker isn’t just a game of gambling and betting your money away. It’s intimate and personal, in order to win you must read your opponent. Strip each other bare until the other shows a sign of vulnerability, only then will you find a loophole and win.
But nobody seems to understand the arts of chips and card decks. To be given an awful hand and turning the game to your favor is powerful and uplifting. There is great danger with gambling but there are also great rewards.
Leon was a famous man, known for establishing the most successful casinos of, dare I say, the nation. He’s a businessman, driven by the need to make a statement of himself. To hold power over people’s head with a flick of the wrist. He’s ambitious, cunning, but also respectful.
Coming from nothing but rags and the slum, he swore to his parents that he will earn everything he ever wanted in life. To provide for his family, to become one of the richest and notorious men of America. And he did.
He easily became a member of the mafia after being taken under the care of a kind man. When his parents died and he was shunned away by society, he never expected a man from a dangerous world to take him as a child and teach him to become the man that he is today.
And now here he was, engaging himself in a long hour of poker with a rookie player. You’ve never been keen on gambling your savings away, you deterred yourself from gaining the addiction. But, you did like to play every once in a while, especially since the casino you were in was quite lavish, courtesy of the man who built the casino in the first place.
You didn’t know anything about it, you didn’t even know that the man in front of you was the very own man who built his life step by step.
"You're good with your hands," he said in a rich and low tone as he stared at you from across the table.
“Thanks,” you muttered as you moved on forward with the game. You glanced at him, narrowing your eyes as you tried to guess what he was going to move with tonight.
A low, amused chuckle escaped his lips as he continued to watch you analyze him. He knew damn well you had no clue how to play, yet you were trying your best. It's what drew him to you.
He noticed you stealing glances his way as you thought of a plan. *Adorable.* He leaned back into his seat, eyeing you closely as he waited for you to make your next move.
"You're a bad bluffer," he pointed out with a smirk.
“And you’re a talker,” you quipped back with sass. You were silent for a moment before you decided to either go big or go home, “Raise,” you said to him.
Your eyes were glued to him, watching for his reaction. Was he going to fold or call? Either way, you believed you had a better hand than him.
"And you're cocky, too," he returned with a hint of humor in his voice. He raised an eyebrow slightly, surprised by your bold move. Even if you didn't know how to play, you had some guts.
He studies you for a moment, his eyes lingering on you before returning to his cards. After a moment of contemplating, he pushes a stack of chips forward, adding to the pot.
"Call. Let's see what you've got," he challenges you with a sly smile.
You turned your cards over, revealing a Diamond Queen and Clover King. You put them down and crossed your arms over your chest as you looked at him with a smirk.
The bet was a high number of money. Probably worth more than your limbs being sold in the black market. But you were here for a reason, to earn some quick money. The man in front of you looked quite wealthy, wealthy and rich men weren’t uncommon in this place but it still made you feel a bit inferior with everyone wanting to show off.
Leon leaned forward, inspecting your cards closely. The smirk on your face said it all. You thought you had a good hand, and he wouldn't deny that you had a decent one. But, it wasn't enough to beat him. He leaned back into his seat once more, his expression unchanging, as he revealed his own cards. A Spade Queen and a Diamond Ace. A straight flush. His eyes met yours, his smirk turning into a cocky grin.
"I'm afraid you've lost this round, darling," he said in a teasing tone.
Your smirk immediately fell as you saw his straight flush. Wow, you lost again. You didn’t even notice him calling you by a pet name. Did you owe this man money now? How did you not see it coming? That bastard was cocky and confident as hell! You should’ve known he had a good hand.
Leon chuckled once again. The look on your face was priceless—a mix of frustration and disbelief.
He loved it.
"Looks like I win again," he said teasingly, gathering up the chips on the table, "And don't worry, darling, you don't owe me anything. Just better luck next time."
He leaned back in his seat, his gaze still fixed on you as he smirked. He found your reaction absolutely adorable.
You furrowed your brows confused, you didn’t owe him anything? “Wait, are you serious?” You asked confusedly. He was different from other guys around here. Was he really willing to forget about your loss and even wished you better luck?
Who was this guy? There was something about him, though, that seemed dangerous and suspicious, “Why?”
Leon tilted his head to the side as he observed you, noticing the confusion on your face. You were clearly surprised by his words. It seems like you’re *not* used to men like him.
He chuckled softly at your question. "Why? Because I'm a gentleman," he responds with a smirk.
He leaned forward slightly, his gaze never leaving your face, "And I'm not in the business of taking money from pretty young girls like yourself. I'm not that heartless."
Your cheeks flared, did he just say you were pretty? You’ve never met a man so… straightforward. You cleared your throat and nibbled on your bottom lip, “Thank you,” you muttered quietly. Leon's gaze softened as he watched your cheeks flush and saw you bite your bottom lip. *Adorable.*
He’s a gentleman, he’s not *that* heartless? You didn’t understand him. He wore expensive clothes and his aura was confident.
“Is there anything else you’d like in return?” You asked as you looked at him, your arms on the table, “I’d feel guilty if you went back home empty handed.”
He leaned back in his seat, a smirk on his lips. "There is... one thing," he replied, his voice low and smooth.
He paused for a moment, his eyes locking with yours once more. "Your name," he said simply, his smile widening, "I'd like to know your name."
You stared at him for a few moments before you nodded slightly, “Okay,” you muttered. You extended your hand towards him, “My name is Y/n,” you said softly. He was truly a gentleman, wasn’t he? He doesn’t take money from girls and he was respectful. He’s one of a kind.
Leon looked at your hand for a moment before taking it gently in his own. His rough, calloused fingers wrapped around your small, soft hand. He loved the contrast between your skin and his. The way your slender fingers fit perfectly in his grasp.
"Y/n," he repeated quietly, as if he was testing the way the name felt on his tongue. He let out a soft chuckle before bringing your hand to his lips. He placed a gentle kiss on your knuckles, his eyes never leaving yours.
Your cheeks flushed even more red when he kissed your knuckles. Did he come out of a book or something?! You’ve never met a man that screamed rich and respectful man. It was attractive. You were a bit speechless. Most guys met wouldn’t even be bothered to know your name and yet, here he was, treating you like a lady. Did he time travel or something?
You didn’t even try to move your hand away, it was like you got stuck in a trance. He was an enigma, who knew your poker opponent was so… you didn’t even know how to describe it. He chuckled softly at your reaction. He wasn't surprised, after all, most men don't have manners these days. Not men like him.
He slowly released your hand, though he couldn't bring himself to completely let go just yet. He continued to hold onto it, his thumb gently caressing your knuckles.
“Can I know your name too?” You asked a bit hesitantly, you wanted to know but you didn’t want to seem disrespectful. He felt so fancy, like a true gentleman. The kind of man you read in romance books where you could only dream of being treated with such care.
"Of course, darling," he replied in a low tone, his gaze still fixated on your face. He could tell that you were completely taken by him, though he couldn't blame you, most girls were. He could tell that you were captivated by his mannerisms and demeanor. It seemed like you appreciated his old-fashioned actions and chivalry, not that he was surprised. But something told him that you were different than the others. You weren't just after his wealth or status, he could see it in your eyes.
In the game of poker, it was easy to fall and lose. But for some reason, you like playing with him even if it means losing most of the rounds.
You didn’t even notice the two bodyguards approaching him from behind since you didn’t know what his occupation was like. You were strangers. The two bodyguards were ready to jump into action if you tried anything suspicious. But what could you do? You were completely harmless.
As his bodyguards approached from behind, Leon glanced over his shoulder at them. He held up a hand, silently signaling for them to hold off. The bodyguards stood a few feet away, far enough to not listen to your conversation but close enough to jump to him if he got into a dangerous situation. Leon's lips curled into an amused smile as he watched you realize the presence of his bodyguards. They were there to protect him, after all.
"My name is Leon," he finally replied, his voice just above a whisper. "Leon Kennedy."
“Leon,” you repeated, tasting the way it rolled off your tongue. It was a fancy name, suiting him very well.
“Nice to meet you, Mister Kennedy,” you said politely. Leon suppressed a chuckle as you repeated his name, the sound of it on your lips was like music to his ears. It was as if you were singing his name, rather than simply saying it.
He smirked when you called him 'Mister Kennedy,' finding your use of a formal title both amusing and endearing. "Please, call me Leon. 'Mister Kennedy' makes me feel old," he teased, his voice low and smooth.
You couldn’t help the small smile from reaching your lips, just minutes ago he beat you in a game of poker and yet, he didn’t make you feel bad for losing. You nodded at him, “Alright, I won’t.”
Then, one of the two bodyguards approached Leon, leaning down to his ear to whisper, “Sir, your presence is being requested on the tenth floor,” he whispered. Leon's expression, although unchanging, darkened at the bodyguard's words. He knew exactly what it meant for his presence to be "requested" on the tenth floor. But he didn't want to leave just yet. He was enjoying the time he had with you, he was enjoying your company and your sweet demeanor. If only he could stay a little bit longer.
He nodded at the bodyguard, silently signaling that he understood. He looked back at you, his expression softening once again.
"I have business to attend to," he said quietly, a hint of regret in his voice.
“Oh, right, yeah,” you muttered quickly under your breath as you stood up, fixing your outfit that you were wearing, “I shouldn’t take more of your time,” you said softly and politely, “It was nice meeting you, Leon. I hope to play with you in the future.”
Leon looked up at you as you stood up, his gaze following every movement. He could feel his heart skip a beat, he found you truly adorable. He felt a pang of disappointment when you mentioned not taking up more of his time. But he understood, he had responsibilities to take care of.
"The pleasure was all mine, darling," he said quietly, his voice slightly strained. He didn't want you to leave, but he had no choice.
“Sir,” one bodyguard spoke up from behind him, “Should we keep an eye on her?” He asked as the bodyguard’s gaze remained on your form, you were already standing by the bar drinking a damn fountain drink.
It was clear that the bodyguards were good at their job, they wanted to keep Leon safe since he was a mafia boss and enemies could be everywhere. Leon's gaze shifted from yours as he focused on his bodyguard's question. He could sense the slight tension in the air, the bodyguards were always cautious. But that was their job, to protect him at all costs.
He shook his head slightly, "No, that won't be necessary," he replied coldly, "She's harmless," he added, his eyes fixated on you once more.
“Yes sir,” the bodyguard said before the two bodyguards began to escort Leon to the elevator to get to the tenth floor. As Leon walked towards the elevator, escorted by his bodyguards, he couldn't help but glance back one last time, his eyes settling on your form at the bar.
He felt a twinge of something, was it concern? He wasn't sure. The thought of you being approached by someone else made him uneasy. But he had to remind himself that you weren't his responsibility.
He stepped into the elevator, his mind still occupied with thoughts of you.
"Watch her," he muttered to his bodyguards, "make sure no one goes near her."
The bodyguard nodded before stepping out of the elevator and went over to watch from a distance to not scare me off.
He was left with the other bodyguard and as they reached the tenth floor, the doors opened to reveal a very expensive suite, “Ah, Leon,” the voice of a man rang as he approached Leon.
The man was no other than a guy that went by an alias, “Kyle”, for safety reasons, “Glad you could make it,” he was dressed in nothing but a bathrobe, the belt tight around his waist to keep him from flashing anyone. Kyle was a character, that much was clear. Greeting Leon as if they were old friends.
"Cut the pleasantries," Leon replied coolly as he strode past Kyle, into the extravagant suite. Despite his cold exterior, his mind was still occupied by thoughts of you.
Kyle laughed and followed after Leon, “Always cutting to the chase, huh, amigo?” He said the Spanish word in a terrible accent, he didn’t even know Spanish.
Kyle was truly one of a kind but he was an ally to Leon’s mafia. Matter of fact, he provided Leon with the newest weapons from an Italian manufacturer. Illegal weapon trafficking.
“Got some new ladies you might want to see,” he said as he walked in front of Leon, guiding him to his room. As he entered his room, the sheets were messy and two naked women laid on the bed. With a flick of his wrist, the ladies stepped out of the room, giving Leon a wink.
As they entered the room, Leon couldn't help but roll his eyes at the sight of the naked women on the bed. Was this really necessary?
"I'm not interested," he said bluntly, his cold tone sending a clear message. Despite his outwardly tough demeanor, Leon disliked the lifestyle that Kyle embodied.
Kyle definitely had a typical lifestyle of a play boy, always finding girls to sleep with as he spends money on expensive champagne and clothes. But he was a good provider for the mafia. Kyle was needed; a necessary evil.
But Leon wasn’t a womanizer like that, especially with the way he treated you. Kyle chuckled and shook his head, “Oh, I think you will,” he muttered before I retrieved a box and opened it. Leon's expression changed. The sight of the new weapons in the box piqued his interest.
“Got these new ladies fresh from Rome,” he said, revealing new manufactured guns, “These are in beta testing but their purpose isn’t like regular guns—no. These babies hold up to thrice the ammunition and can fire double bullets at the same time.”
He could already see the potential these guns held. The extra ammunition and the ability to fire double bullets at once could give his men an advantage in a dangerous situation.
"Interesting," he said quietly, his eyes fixed on the guns. Despite his dislike for Kyle's lifestyle, Leon had to admit he knew how to source the best weapons.
"How did you get your hands on these?" he asked, his voice now lacking any hostility.
Kyle shrugged and leaned back, “I sent a blueprint last month over to my manufacturer in Italy. Said he’d give it a try. He experimented here and there right before he sent me these prototypes.”
“But I don’t recommend using them yet,” he said as he walked over to stand next to Leon, draping an arm around Leon’s shoulders as if they were best friends.
“Something about them probably not working and backfiring. Blah, blah, blah. You know the nerd stuff,” he said.
Leon's brow furrowed as he heard Kyle's words. Using untested weapons could be risky, especially if they had the potential for a devastating recoil. He pushed Kyle's arm off his shoulders, his expression turning cold again. He wasn't fond of being touched, especially by someone like Kyle.
"Then why show them to me if they might not work?" he asked with a hint of irritation in his voice. He preferred to focus on proven weapons, not experimental ones.
As his arm was pushed off his shoulders, Kyle wasn’t a bit ashamed, “Well, before we proceed with the testing, we needed your approval.”
Then, Kyle grew a bit serious, which only ever happened once a fortnight. He leaned closer to Leon to whisper in his ear, “I’ve heard that there’s been recent suspicious activity up north where the colony is. This is just a precaution because I don’t want anyone stealing my guns.”
Ever since Leon became the new mafia boss, which was years ago, many other bosses have tried to take him down. Even if it meant stealing his resources. Despite his disdain for Kyle, Leon couldn't ignore the serious look on his face. He knew that when Kyle spoke like this, he wasn't messing around.
"Suspicious activity, you say?" he replied, his voice low and calculating. He didn't appreciate being targeted, especially by other mafia bosses, "Any idea who might be behind it?"
He shrugged and shook his head, “No, there’s no idea who it might be but I’ve heard rumors that it’s someone who’s after your territory.”
Kyle sighed and stored the guns away once more, “In any case. Call me up if you change your plan, I’ll send word to Italy to keep producing and testing. Until then,” he said before he patted Leon on the shoulder and walked out of his room saying, “Alright, ladies, who’s ready for some sexy time on the jacuzzi?”
Leon watched as Kyle left the room, rolling his eyes at the man's behavior. Despite Kyle's eccentricities and playboy lifestyle, he couldn't deny that he was an asset to the mafia. As the sound of laughter and splashing water came from the jacuzzi, Leon turned his attention back to the matter at hand. The possibility of someone targeting his territory unsettled him.
With a deep sigh, he ran a hand through his hair, his thoughts once again drifting to you. He couldn't seem to get you off his mind.
“Do you want to go back to the main floor, Sir?” His bodyguard asked. Leon's eyes went to his bodyguard, and he nodded.
"Yes," he said simply. He had to go back to the main floor. He knew that his bodyguards had been instructed to keep an eye on you, and he was curious to see if you were still there.
As he stepped out of the room, he couldn't help but glance over at the bar. He could see you sitting there, sipping on a Dr. Pepper. Despite the presence of his bodyguard, he took a subtle step closer, watching you from a distance.
Now the three men were watching you, Leon with his two bodyguards behind him. They were no longer on the tenth floor and instead were on the main floor where you were.
“Who is she, boss?” One bodyguard asked. They had seen Leon play with you for a few rounds but they didn’t hear your conversation. Of how he forgave your debt and asked for your name, but they did see him kiss your hand. Leon's gaze never left you, his eyes watching your every move. He could feel the curiosity of his bodyguards, they had clearly noticed his interaction with you.
“Do you know her?” The other bodyguard asked. They still kept professional but their curiosity was high. They’ve never seen Leon talk to a woman before, he’d usually brush them off because he knew they were after his money.
"She's nobody," Leon replied, his voice cold and distant. Even though he had shown you a rare moment of humanity, he didn’t want his bodyguards to think he had a “soft spot”, especially towards a stranger.
"She's just a poker player, that's all," he added, dismissing their curiosity. But his eyes told a different story, he couldn't tear his gaze away from you.
“A terrible one,” one commented, “A Diamond queen and clover king against your straight flush… she’s got confidence.”
“Or maybe she didn’t know. Our boss holds a really good poker face,” the other replied. Which was true, Leon was a damn good poker player but you also didn’t play like a professional. You barely knew what you were doing.
You turned around to get your bag from the stool next to your standing form, seemingly finished with your drink and getting ready to pay for it.
Leon's eyes followed your every movement, his mind racing, "She was a challenge,” he said quietly, his voice betraying a hint of amusement. Despite your lack of skill, he had enjoyed playing with you, it had been surprisingly fun.
As he saw you turn to retrieve your bag, he felt a strange pang in his chest. He didn’t want you to leave yet. He took a step forward, his bodyguards following closely behind him.
You were too busy looking through your bag, pulling out your wallet and counting the bills you had to pay your tab. Would it even be considered a tab if you got non-alcoholic drinks? You didn’t notice Leon returning at all, his bodyguards didn’t say anything. They knew better than to prod at his life choices. If anything, they’d just keep a more careful eye on you to make sure nothing bad happened.
“Hold on—“ you said to the bartender as you counted your coins to give him the exact number of your total.
As you began counting your coins to pay the bartender, he couldn't help but step forward and reach into his pocket, "I'll cover it," he said, his voice firm and commanding. He felt strangely compelled to take care of you, even in this small gesture.
You straightened up at the sound of his voice, your heart jumped and beat quickly as you whipped your head to look at none other than Leon. Always a true gentleman.
“I—“ you said as yoi looked at him and the bartender before you looked back at his blue eyes, “No, it’s okay. I’ve got this,” you said quietly. He’d already forgiven your debt and now he wants to pay for your drinks?
Leon's expression remained stoic as he heard your protest. He didn't expect you to be so modest and determined to pay for your own drinks. But he found it endearing.
"It's not a problem," he replied, his voice firm. He could sense your guilt, but he didn’t want you to feel like a charity case. He genuinely wanted to take care of you, even if it was in small ways. He slid a few bills to the bartender, paying for your drinks and closing the tab before you could argue further.
Your cheeks blushed again as you looked away, you’ve never had anyone take care of you like he has, “You’re too kind,” you muttered in a flustered tone.
He was already breaking his own rules because the bodyguards seemed to have picked up on some details. It wasn’t common for them to see Leon be so… interested in a woman. Much less someone like you but they found it oddly endearing. Secretly cheering for their boss.
Leon was taller than you so you had to look up at him, “Did everything go well with your business?” You asked genuinely. Leon's expression softened slightly as he saw your flushed cheeks and your sincere question. He was unused to caring about someone’s well being, but he found himself wanting to share a bit with you.
"Yes, business went well," he confirmed, his voice remaining cool and collected. But there was a hint of tiredness in his eyes, the stresses of being a mafia boss often taking a toll on him.
He studied you for a moment, his gaze calculating but not unkind. "And how have you been?" he asked, surprising himself with his own question.
“Oh, you know,” you faintly shrugged your shoulders as you pointed towards the bar, “I stayed there the whole time. I don’t like wandering on my own. Lots of… creeps out here, y’know?”
But he wasn’t a creep. He was far from it. Leon was a gentleman, a man who knew how to treat women right.
Leon chuckled, a rare sound coming from him, at your straightforward answer. He found it refreshing how honest you were, unlike the fake smiles and flattery he usually received from people.
His eyes swept the casino floor, full of various people, men, and women. He knew you were right about the creeps that roamed around, especially with a pretty face like yours.
"You're right about the creeps," he agreed, his voice low and protective. "A pretty thing like you shouldn’t be out here alone."
Your cheeks blushed again when he said you were pretty, why was he so casual with the compliments?! But nevertheless, you couldn’t stop the smile forming on your lips, “Yeah… I was about to leave since it was getting late, actually,” you said as you quickly remembered what you were doing.
“I was going to get an Uber and go back home. I should probably practice my poker skills too,” you said with a small smile. Leon's gaze darkened slightly at the mention of you leaving. He didn't want this night to end, not when he'd enjoyed your company more than he thought he would.
He took a step closer, shortening the distance between you. "An Uber?" he repeated, his voice taking on a hint of disapproval. "With all the creepers out there?"
He paused, seeming to consider something before speaking again. "Let me give you a ride home," he offered, his eyes never leaving yours.
Your eyes widened a bit and your breath hitched when he stepped closer to you and offered you a ride home. You should’ve said no but for some reason, you felt safe in his presence. You slowly nodded your head, feeling like you shouldn’t reject his offer. He’s been kind to you and you wanted to be kind as well, “Only if it’s not a burden.”
“I’d hate to shift your plans for the night. I don’t want to be an inconvenience,” you said with a nervous laugh as you played with your hands.
Leon couldn't help but chuckle at your words and the nervousness in your laugh. You were clearly unused to being cared for like this, but it was almost endearing to see you flustered. He shook his head, his expression serious. "It's not a burden," he reassured you. "And you're not an inconvenience. I wouldn't offer unless I meant it."
He motioned for his bodyguards to follow as he put a hand gently on your lower back, beginning to guide you towards the exit. You gathered your things, which was just your purse, and let him guide you towards the exit. His bodyguards were shocked to say the least. They knew Leon didn’t like to be touched or touch other people but here he was, gently putting his hand on you to guide you out of the building. They were in for a fun ride.
As you made it out and stepped outside, you were met with wind. The wind blew over your form, goosebumps on your skin as you wrapped your arms over your chest to give yourself some heat. Leon noticed your body shiver, the cool night air obviously getting to you. He was so used to suppressing his own physical needs that he had briefly forgotten that you weren’t built for the harsher elements like he was.
"Here," he said gruffly. He removed his black jacket and gently placed it around your shoulders, his fingers lingering for a moment on the fabric.
The black suit jacket was big on you but it was so warm, it even smelled like his cologne and you felt your cheeks flare up. He smelled good, “Thank you,” you said as you looked up at him.
A black car pulled in front of you, it was fancy and the black was matte. No doubt, the latest car. Just how rich was he? One of the bodyguards moved towards the door and opened it for the two of you. Leon nodded in acknowledgement of your thanks, his eyes never leaving yours, "After you," he said, gesturing for you to get into the car first. His voice was gruff, but there was a warm undertone in it.
He waited, standing by the car door, until you climbed in, before he slid into the seat beside you, closing the door behind him. The bodyguards climbed into the front seat, the engine purring softly to life.
No one would’ve believed them if they said that Leon was warm and kind. They’ve seen the type of ruthless man he could be, he was a mafia boss! Hence why the bodyguards were shocked. They’ve never seen him act this way with anyone.
You sat next to Leon, your thighs pressed together and your form still wearing his black suit jacket, “Thank you,” you said before you climbed to sit next to him. You were new to the whole taken care of thing. Leon felt a pang of something unfamiliar in his chest when you thanked him again. It was as if you weren’t used to being treated like this, but he found himself wanting to give you more. He felt the strange urge to wrap you in his arms, to keep you close and away from the world.
He let out a low hum of acknowledgment. "You don’t need to keep thanking me," he said quietly, his voice low and rough.
You softy laughed at his words despite his low and rough voice, “Sorry, force of habit. I’m not used to people being so kind to me. Especially after playing Poker with me,” you replied with a small but genuine smile.
“Most guys would either just get mad at me for beating them or they would humiliate me further for beating me,” you said quietly, your hands laying on your lap as you looked down at them.
Then you glanced back at him, “But you’re different. I think… I like to have you as my opponent… if you’d let me,” but it was more than just Poker, right? It was about connecting, about seeing him again. His expression softened as you spoke again, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, "You like having me as your opponent, huh?" he said, his voice holding a hint of amusement.
He reached out, his hand gently resting on top of yours, his touch calloused but surprisingly gentle, "You don’t even know what you’re asking for."
Your breath hitched and you looked down at his hand on top of yours. Even though he’d held your hand and kissed it, you still got flustered.
But he was right. Essentially, you didn’t even know him. You met him today and lost a poker game. But something in you wanted to keep seeing him, you didn’t want to let such a kind man go.
“I can learn,” you whispered. This went beyond poker, even though you spoke about it, hidden words were conveyed. You didn’t know what you were asking for, not knowing he was in the mafia. Leon's smirk grew at your words, a hint of something more behind it. He could hear the double meaning in your words, and it sent a thrill through him. Here you were, this timid, pretty thing, wanting to get to know him better.
His fingers gently squeezed your hand as he spoke, his voice low. "You’re a fast learner, I bet," he said, his eyes never leaving yours.
But then his expression darkened slightly, the reality of his world intruding on the moment. He was a mafia boss, and you… you were innocent and pure.
You nodded, “I like learning things. Knowledge is power, is what George Orwell said once,” you muttered. Leon's smirk turned into a half-smile at your mention of George Orwell. This girl was full of surprises. It seemed to him that you were more than just a pretty face working as a pit boss.
His grip on your hand tightened slightly, as if reflexively trying to keep a grip on you. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this, he should let you go before you get swept into the dangerous world he lived in.
But something about you was making him greedy. The Mafia Boss never had to worry about letting go before, now, he didn’t want to.
You felt his hand tighten around yours and you didn’t want to let go yet. Once you reached your apartment, you looked at him and leaned towards his face to whisper, “Think it over,” you whispered, your brows furrowing a bit before you let go of his hand and got out of the car.
Leon's eyes widened slightly at your whisper, your unexpected boldness sending a jolt of surprise, and something else through him. You'd just told him to think things over, as if it was a date that you were asking him on. But before he could open his mouth to reply, you had already slipped out of the car, leaving him a bit taken aback.
He stayed sitting in his seat for a beat, his fingers clenching the leather, his eyes fixed on your figure. You were playing with fire, and you didn’t even realize it.
You were about to walk into your apartment when you realized you were still wearing his suit jacket. You quickly ran back towards the car and slipped it the jacket off, giving him an awkward smile, “I, uh…”
“Almost forgot this,” you muttered softly, the pink hue on your cheeks not leaving any time soon. Leon took the jacket in his hands, his gaze lingering on you as you handed it to him. He took in your flushed cheeks, your awkward smile, and it sent a pang through his chest.
He wanted to reach out, to touch your cheek, to do something to keep you from leaving. But instead, he simply folded the jacket over his arm, his fingers tracing the fabric.
"Keep it," he said, his voice rough. "It looks better on you."
Your eyes widened a bit and your lips parted into a small ‘Oh’ when he gave you the jacket once more. To which you slowly took, you didn’t want to be greedy but you loved the way it smelled.
“Thank you,” you whispered sincerely, “For tonight.”
The offer still stood. You were willing to throw yourself down into a fire if it meant getting to know him better. Isn’t that what Poker is about? To understand your opponent? But this wasn’t about Poker anymore.
Leon clenched his jaw as he watched your expression, your sincere thanks only making it harder for him to let you go. Your naivete was like a double-edged sword - it drew him in but also made him hesitant.
But he wasn’t some saint. No, far from it. He was a Mafia Boss, and he wasn’t used to denying himself.
He leaned forward slightly, his eyes locking with yours, his voice a rough, quiet murmur. “When can I see you again?”
You stared at him through the window, a bit surprised that he wanted to see you again. You were just some idiot poker player and yet… was he actually considering seeing you again?
You stood there in shock for a few seconds like an absolute idiot before you realized you hadn’t said anything. Your cheeks flushed and you quickly cleared your throat, “Uh—“
He paused, his eyes roaming over you, taking in your flushed cheeks, your uncertainty. It was a new sight for him, having a woman so clearly out of his world be so... vulnerable.
“You want to see me again?” You asked unsure. Leon’s lips quirked up into a small smirk at your reaction, your surprise and confusion only endearing you to him more. You were just so damn endearing. He leaned back in his seat, his eyes never leaving yours, his gaze sharp, “Yes, I want to see you again.”
“Well, I’m free this Saturday… if you want to—I dunno—go out…?”
“Saturday it is, then. I’ll pick you up at seven.”
This time, you couldn’t help the smile that reached your lips. Was he truly taking you out on a date? You nodded your head at him, your lips curling up into a genuine smile, “Alright…” you muttered quietly, “I’ll see you then. You know where I live anyway.”
He offered you a ride and now knows where you lived, but somehow, you felt comfortable with him knowing, “Goodnight, Leon.”
You walked backwards, looking at him for as long as possible before eventually turning around to get into your apartment. Leon watched as you retreated back into your apartment, his gaze following your every move. There was a strange flutter in his chest, something that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Something that he thought he had lost.
When you disappeared from sight, he let out a low, rough exhale, running his hand through his short hair. This was dangerous, getting close to you, but he couldn’t seem to find it in himself to care.
“Goodnight, doll,” he murmured, watching your door close behind you.
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d3n1r · 6 months
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fwb: nanami kento (18+)
nanami kento doesn't know how to be just "friend's with benefits".
tags: (fem aligned user) (uses y/n) (jealousy) (not proofread also sorry this is my first real smut ive posted on tumblr) (uses the L word (gasp!))
(art for header found on pinterest)
•—————————————————————————•
fwb!nanami didn't know how to approach you, his friend and colleague, about being friend's with benefits. he wasn' the kind of man to just have sex with someone. he didn't fuck- he made love. it wasn't until gojo dug his nose in, asking you if you'd ever want a fwb within earshot of nanami- you saying you wouldn't be opposed- that made him even think to ask.
fwb!nanami who brought a bouquet of roses to your apartment the first time he came over to "netflix and chill," stumbling over his words and acting like an utter fool in front of you. it was cute, and you eased him into the situation as naturally and slowly as your body would allow. his arm was awkwardly placed on your shoulder as you nuzzled up against him on the couch, and he seemed all too focused on the movie that was playing.
"kento, do you just wanna watch the movie and try again another day?" your soft voice cooed, and it made him fall apart, the sweat on the back of his neck rolling down his back. oh god, you were so pretty. he knew he wasn't doing anything right, and yet you still looked up at him so affectionately. this isn't what friends with benefits act like, was it?
"n-no, i'm just.. i've never done anything like this before." he swallowed whatever moisture had stayed in his dry mouth, forcing himself to meet your eyes, only to meet an understanding gaze that tore down all of his walls.
"it's okay, we can go slow."
fwb!nanami who's so gentle with you during your first time together. even though you wanted your brains fucked out, his gentle touch and praise that spilled from his lips as you sunk onto his length was equally satisfying.
"you're so warm n tight, y/n.. i can't, 's too much. you feel so good," nanami groaned, his hands kneading your hips as your lips kissed along his neck, licking soothing stripes along his sensitive skin to ease him through it.
he wasn't a virgin, but still.. this. this was new. fucking someone just to fuck them. to fuck you, his gorgeous friend who had always behaved so normally towards him. would things stay normal between you two? he was already overthinking. how did friends with benefits just stay friends when all he could think about was how pretty your face twisted in pleasure, how soft your skin felt-
"kento," the sound of your sighed moan snapped him into reality, and he whimpered in his low, gentle voice, his head falling back against the couch as you rolled your hips against him. that's right- all he needed to think about right now was how good you felt milking his cock, not how your friendship was gonna turn out tomorrow.
"oh, fuck, y/n."
fwb!nanami who didn't wanna leave you that night when you fell asleep in his arms, your head resting on his chest. carefully, he carried you to bed, tucking you in while stroking his fingers through your hair.
"stay," your sleepy, mumbly voice shot an arrow through his chest just as he was trying to quietly leave your bedroom.
yes, of course he'd stay. you'd taken such good care of him, making sure he was comfortable while taking every last drop of cum he had to offer. he didn't realize how pent up he was until he unloaded into you the first time. but once your lips wrapped around him maybe an hour later, he grew more needy, thrusting his dick down your throat as he gently massaged the nape of your neck.
hesitantly he snuggled into bed with you, your sleeping form molding perfectly against his, your face subconsciously nuzzling into his chest and wrapping your arms around his waist to pull him close. were friends with benefits supposed to be this intmate? should his heart be racing like this?
but as the events of the day weighed heavier on him, he couldn't bear it, trying to find a way to fall asleep. with your steady breaths and warmth as you cuddled him it wasn't hard to get drowsy, but his thoughts consumed him. maybe this was a mistake- him and his bleeding heart.
fwb!nanami who made you breakfast the next morning. and everytime after that. he always brought you an offering like roses or flowers when he'd come over, and treat you like a queen each morning, kissing along your body to wake you up, tasting you before you'd get a taste of his cooking.
it was cathartic for him. no strings attached, just pleasure. it took him a while to understand the point in it, perhaps less stress?
though his heart still raced everytime you sat with him at work or hung out with him- not calling it a date.
"ken, you shouldn't have. we're just grabbing coffee," you whined with your face flushed red. again, this princely man bought your coffee for you and pulled out your chair as you sat at the cafe.
"i wanted to," he would say everytime, shaking his head. and he said the same when he insisted on walking you home from work, fucking you when you got home from work, massaging your muscles from the stress of work, oh lord this man was head over heels-
fwb!nanami who didn't realize he had fallen in love with you until someone at the grocery store asked for your number.
how could someone walk up to you, standing so pretty next to the shopping cart both you and him were putting groceries in, and ask if you were single? as if nanami wasn't standing right there, pushing your shopping cart, guiding you out of the traffic of other shoppers with his hand on the small of your back?
"oh, thank you, but i'm not interested in dating right now." was your response, making nanami's neck tighten. what does that mean? what were you two doing there?
you weren't dating, no. the point is that you were friends with benefits. no strings attached. just fucking, just pleasing each other. this grocery trip was as friends, the breakfasts together were as friends, the sex was as friends-
"ken," again, your voice was like the smooth, untouchable hand pulling him out of a bush full of thorns and pulling him into your softness. "did we get garlic already?"
"mhm," was the only sound to escape his throat. to hell if you were dating or not- he needed you, perhaps even more than you needed him. or at least more than you realized you needed him.
fwb!nanami who pounded you hard into the mattress that night. he was a gentle lover for the most part, always checking in on you, whispering your praises, moaning into your ear as he finished in you.
not tonight. he needed to let out that pent out rage, towards the person who asked you out of course- not you.
"who's this pretty pussy belong to, hmm?" he chuckled as he gripped your hair tighter, pressing your face down into your pillow harder. His free hand was holding your hips with a bruising grip, keeping your ass up as he fucked you into another orgasm.
"k-ken, aagh," you mewled, your hands balling into fists as you held the sheets tighter. "'m yours kento, f-fuck.."
he smiled- it was dizzying, your voice being so broken and yet so his. "that's it beautiful. all mine."
by the time he was satisfied he was dripping sweat, his chest against your back as his breath came out in ragged pants.
of course, ever the gentleman, he slowly slid his cock out from you, watching with possessiveness and satisfaction as his cum dribbled down your folds, and then your bruised thighs. a part of him felt bad for being so rough, but then watching your legs tremble and your pussy pulse around nothing made him feel much less guilty.
"lemme take care of you, pretty," he murmured, helping you stand before carrying you to the bathroom. he was so sweet, sitting down on the bench in the shower, having you on his lap facing him as he washed the sweat and mess off your body with his large yet gentle hands.
you were drowsy from the mix of getting fucked stupid and the heat of the shower, and nanami's soapy hands kneading at your flesh was only making you feel more at ease. you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, arms weakly wrapping around him.
"love you, ken," you murmured into his neck, eyes fluttering to try and stay open.
nanami froze, feeling an intense rush of heat rise to his face from ear to ear. he was sure that he would be the one to say it first. with how he worshipped you, he was positive that the words would leave his tongue first.
but alas there you were, softly kissing his collarbone as you fought to stay awake. his heart swelled, more than his cock as it twitched. god, he could fuck you again just for saying that. but more than that he wanted so desperately to kiss you.
"i love you too, y/n," he hummed, tilting your head up to meet your content smile, pressing his lips to yours, lovingly, as if he had never kissed you before.
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totothewolff · 3 months
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The Big Slip
+18 | one shot | Toto x reader | romance, smut, drama, pinning.
Summary: Your life as a struggling arts graduate in Monaco, coming from a working-class family who lives on the outskirts, is about to change. Toto Wolff enters your life not only by giving you the best sex ever but also by making you love somebody for the first time. Arranged marriages, a horrible breakup, and an induced coma, plus his terrible parents, were a complete surprise. Author's note: Get ready for a ride!
More Toto Wolff fics right here > Masterlist - Toto hasn't been to his parents for a couple of years.
His relationship with them has gotten, how do you say it politely? Problematic?
The older and more independent he gets, the more he notices the enormous pressure they have inflicted on him from a young age.
Being the firstborn in a blue-blooded, deep-pocketed family, carrying the Wolff last name around places an immense weight on his shoulders.
He is required to be the perfect son, the perfect student, the perfect gentleman, the perfect businessman, the perfect big brother, and the perfect heir.
"There's a lot on stake, Torger, not only millions," his father tells him at his massive and fancy in-home office. "You can't lose focus, this," he gestures with his finger around in a circular movement. "It will be all yours one day, and that," he points to a big and beautiful architectural model designed by Foster + Partners of their new offices and latest and giant factory based in Austria laying on the large meeting table made of expensive agarwood. "Will be yours to lead".
His dad isn't a normal one. Every time Toto gets called into his office, he feels nervous and timid, something that has never changed over the years.
His dad is a businessman first and a father second.
"Every choice you make matters, son. One day, you will become head of this family, an ambassador for our last name. Make us proud," he says, pouring himself and Toto a drink into a beautiful set of glasses. "Let's toast to that, to your future legacy."
He clinks his glass with Toto's.
-
Being an heir of the owners of the "Silver Wolff Mercedes F1 Racing Team" and "Wolff & Co." is supposed to be fun.
Being a part of that accelerated, fast-paced world full of excess, wealth, luxury, and stunning seductive women, a land with no limits.
Yet it isn't. It's a golden cage that people would give everything to get locked into, but it's still a cage.
-
"I'm moving to Monaco after graduation," Toto informs his father, again in his office, but years later, with all the courage he gained over the years, he feels ready to break those bars in his cage.
His parents sent him to study university at the LSE (London School of Economics), giving him a spoonful taste of freedom.
But he barely partied and slept around. He was required to be the perfect student, the top of the class, and the ideal college kid his parents could show off in social gatherings.
"Monaco?" the expression on his father's face is priceless.
"Yes. Water motorsports are on the rise. You know how much I love water! I could develop a racing team there, create a new branch for Silver Wolff, and enter the yacht market for Wolff & Co., handling it by myself."
"Before you return to your duty, the real one, this company, to Silver Wolff Mercedes. It will serve you as a pilot. Think of it as a five-year project."
"Yes, sir."
"Good," his father hugs him and kisses him on the cheek.
Toto feels proud of himself as he heads out of that office.
"Torger?" he turns around at his father, calling his name. "Don't lose focus."
-
What can you expect when you give total freedom to someone who hasn't tasted it before?
Parties, excess, women, all kinds and types of sex, alcohol, weed, everything, what he wanted, he had, he satiated all his appetites.
But at the end of the day, of the rush, he is alone.
Completely alone, with no real or deep relationship with anyone.
Toto built his life based on a "this is just a one-time thing only, a just-for-the-moment" philosophy, knowing that everything in his current life was temporary and that he isn't the actual owner of his life choices.
That's why he is not interested in building new friendships or having a girlfriend.
His real friends are his childhood friends, the kids of wealthy, upper-social-rank families his parents approved of and hung out with.
They are the ones who get him, who know what he is going through. And Obasi, his only real friend from college, Toto loves Obi.
Being the heir of a build-from-scratch empire of a Nigerian-rooted family that escaped the dictatorship, made it to England, and became incredibly successful is a burden more challenging than his.
Obi's parents expected him to make no mistakes, a margin of zero, and they had for him higher than the sky expectations.
-
The night is fully set in Monaco, and your boss gallery's lights illuminate the sidewalk as the prestigious Galerie d'Art 3816 is holding an exhibition.
Located on the famous Boulevard de la Croisette, it's buzzing as art lovers and collectors gather for the exclusive opening of "Lumière," a small but exquisite collection featuring an array of stunning paintings.
You worked your ass off to earn a spot and get featured, showcasing tonight two pieces as part of that exhibition, earning a well-deserved place.
With luck, a sponsor may see your work or art buyers will acquire them.
As guests enter the gallery, your boss greets them warmly and offers glasses of champagne.
The large room has white walls and a luxurious, polished grey marble floor. It's well-lit, and soft music plays in the background, creating an intimate atmosphere perfect for appreciating the displayed pieces.
-
As the evening goes on, champagne and canapés travel around while conversations flow freely.
At the same time, you attend the people interested in your paintings while some of your work colleagues sell and promote their own in their places.
Then your world spins around as you notice the tall guy, at least 6'2", whose presence seems to fill the room.
He is looking over the artworks on display one by one, his eyes lingering on each piece with an air of discernment.
His dark hair is styled perfectly, with a hint of messy charm, and the lighting in the gallery accentuates his sharp features.
The Greeks seemed to have carved his chiseled features, perfectly sharp jawline, and strong facial structure.
His suit, tailored to perfection, fit his broad shoulders and athletic build like a glove.
You can't help but feel a flutter in your chest as he moves towards you, his long strides eating up the distance between you.
"Oh! Mr. Wo-" Your boss tries to greet him. She approaches him in a rush, distracted by the other guests, without noticing when Toto enters.
"Mr. Bednarczyk, I'm Christian. It's nice to meet you," Toto lies to you, introducing himself, much to your boss's surprise, and cutting her off.
She plays along while he offers you a handshake and adds as you two lock eyes with each other, "Mr. Bednarczyk, we are glad you joined us." she says.
"That's unique," he points out, looking at the art in your painting, admiring every detail. Your boss takes this as a signal for her to leave you discuss.
Not before whispering to Toto's ear discreetly, "Christian Bednarczyk? Toto, what!?"
"My middle name and mom's maiden name. I don't want all the attention the Torger Wolff name drags around here."
He is right.
People in Monaco may not know what the Wolffs look like, but they have heard their last name and know what type of family they are.
What should have been a five-minute conversation between Toto and you lasted almost an hour.
You told him all about the meaning behind the painting, the techniques you used, your creative process, and more, feeling an instant connection with him.
A couple of other guests gather around to listen. In the end, a French businesswoman buys it.
-
"Happy for how it went?" Toto asks you.
"Yes! I sold the two paintings I got allowed to exhibit!" you answer as you do a little dance for him.
He looks only a few years older than you but seems full of youth and energy.
"So, now, can I buy you a drink?" he flirts with you.
"Yes, please." you feel your knees shaking.
-
Accepting his invitation to get some drinks results in a night of passion.
Toto's lips and teeth clash against yours, his tongue demanding entry. You part them, letting his tongue swirl around yours.
His hands roam your body, feeling your curves, then he squeezes your ass, pulling you closer to him.
You can feel his hardness pressed against you, and you reach for it; he groans, deep and guttural, his breath hot on your neck as he picks you up and carries you to the bed in a hotel room.
He lays you down gently, his hands cupping your breasts, his fingers teasing your nipples through the light fabric of your dress.
"Fuck, so sexy," he mutters, his voice full of desire. You arch your back, pressing yourself into his touch.
You are desperate for more, desperate for him. You could feel yourself getting wetter by the second, your body responding to his touches.
Toto's fingers work fast, pulling out your dress and exposing your undies before getting them out of the way. He groans as he takes in the sight of you fully naked, his eyes dark with lust.
"Beautiful," he whispers.
He leans down, taking your nipple into his mouth. You gasp as he teases it with his tongue, the sensation shooting straight to your core.
"You're fucking wet," he says, his hands now exploring your slick folds. You whimper as he circles your clit with his fingers, "I want to taste you," he states, his voice low.
You nod eagerly, unable to speak. Toto wastes no time.
He hooks your legs over his shoulders and dives between your thighs. His tongue is warm and wet, tracing a path up and down your slit.
You moan as he explors with his mouth, parting your folds, his breath warm against your clit.
You bite your lip as he flicks his tongue against it. The sensation is intense and immediate. Your hips buck as Toto sucks it.
"Oh my god," you moan, digging your nails in the sheets beneath you. You are so close already, your body coiling with need.
Toto's fingers slide inside you, and you moan even louder. He presses against your G-spot, and you feel an orgasm rising inside of you.
And then, just as you are about to explode, Toto pulls away. You let out a whimper of protest as you feel your orgasm fade away into nothingness.
But Toto isn't done with you yet. Not by a long shot.
"You taste so good," he moans as he crawls up your body, pressing his hard cock against you. "Do you want me inside of you?"
"Yes!" you answer while moaning as you feel his tip brush against your entrance. He is teasing you, and you love it.
You want him inside of you so badly it hurts. He pushes against you, inch by inch, until you are stretched around him, finally joined.
The feeling of his hard length filling you is indescribable, and you let out a gasp of pure ecstasy.
Toto thrust into you, his hips moving in rhythm. Each stroke brings a new burst of pleasure that almost brings you to your knees.
You grab onto his biceps to stay grounded.
Your moans become louder, more primal as he pounds you, sensing the pulse of his cock deep within you.
"Goddammit, Chris. Yes... yes..." you let out, your breaths becoming shallow gasps. Your muscles tremble with exertion, and sweat drips down your forehead.
You close your eyes, lost in the sensory overload, as he continues to thrust deep into you.
Your breasts are bouncing with each impact, and your heart is on the verge of exploding.
You are nearing the end but want to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. Savor every moment of this encounter.
"Tell me how it feels," Toto demands. "Good god, you're so tight, so fucking perfect." Toto murmurs, continuing to pump hard into you.
You let out tiny cries, knowing that you are close to cumming. "Goddamn, you feel so good inside me. Your body is pure perfection," you moan.
He shifts positions, his body dominating yours again, and you wrap your legs around his waist. His hands hold your hips, pulling you closer. He kisses you passionately as his pace quickens, bodies moving faster.
You can hear the wet sound of skin slapping together with each hard thrust. Your body quivers in delight, feeling his strong hands grip your hips tight.
The way Toto moves inside you is delicious. He moves deep, giving you long, slow strokes as he continues to kiss you passionately.
"I want to hear it all, every dirty little thought that goes through your mind. I want to feel you clench around my cock when you get what you want."
His words send a thrill down your spine, igniting a fire. You rock your hips harder against him as he continues to thrust, his movements becoming more urgent, more frantic.
"Oh, fuck yes. Yes, Chris. I want you to claim me, to make me yours. I want to feel every inch of your thick cock stretching me open."
"Fuck, Y/N. That's what I like to hear."
"God, yes!" you cry as he hits the right spot.
"Tell me you want it," his voice raw. "Tell me you want me to make you cum."
You look into his eyes, seeing the desire and urgency reflected there, his fingers digging into your flesh.
"Make me cum, baby," you stammer; you are so close.
Toto's expression changes at your words, and he looks more determined than ever to make you finish.
With a low growl, he increases his pace, his hips snapping against yours with animal urgency, taking your breath away.
Your hands go to Toto's ripped abs; you can feel his muscles flexing as he drives into you with fierce movements.
"God, yes," you pant, trying to hold on as best you can.
Toto's hips are a blur, his body moving with intensity you have never experienced before. Your hands tighten on his shoulders, your sweat-slick bodies slamming together.
"Fuck, I'm going to cum," you cry, your voice hoarse with pleasure. The orgasm is building.
Your whole body is trembling, and you can feel every inch of you tingling with anticipation. You sink your teeth into Toto's shoulder as he continues to pound hard into you.
"Yes, yes, YES!" you cry out, surrendering to the pleasure, giving yourself completely to him. The orgasm hits you suddenly, and you feel your body convulse, releasing.
You hear yourself yelling out his name as Toto keeps thrusting, mercifully prolonging your orgasm. His hips continue to snap into you as a guttural moan tears from deep from his throat as he comes too.
He moans so deliciously as he finishes, firm chest going up and down, you running your nails on it, as he recovers his breath.
-
"It was spectacular," you say the following day while sharing breakfast, looking at him with adoring eyes. Oh, the things he did to you were just wow.
"I totally agree." he gives you a cheeky smile.
"You seeing someone? Maybe we could..."
"Sorry, I can't. This was a one-time thing, sadly. I'm not looking for that, but I can give you my number if you want to be friends." Toto explains, looking at the dismay on your face.
"Sounds good, better than wiping you off from existence!" you chuckle.
-
And you two become "friends"!
"Friends" that text each other daily and hang out at any minute possible.
Who were you kidding?! FRIENDS?!
You are utterly into that man. And he seems also into you.
-
"Well, that was a complete failure." You sigh as you close the gallery.
Only eight people attended your personal art exhibition, and you did not sell a single piece.
Toto is carrying your stuff around in a box. You two cross the street to grab a seat on the pier, which overlooks the harbor and the sea, and hang out a bit more.
"You okay?" He bumps your arm with his, looking at your sad eyes.
"I want to make my parents feel proud of me. I know they haven't asked me for that. They only want me to be happy! But I know the effort they made to put me through college, and you know, I want to be successful so I can help them out so they don't have to work that hard anymore. They aren't that young," you answer.
Toto looks fondly at you and catches the single tear sliding down your cheek with his thumb finger before caressing your face tenderly.
"You are a good daughter. Even if your parents haven't asked you for anything, you feel a need to deliver. It will come! Don't get impatient! No one starts with instant success. Usually, there are a couple of years of struggle before it. Focus on what lies ahead."
"Why are you so smart?!" he smiles shyly at your question, his cheeks blushing. "Can I kiss you?" you come closer to his lips. "I know you told me we'd be friends only, but can we be of those friends who kiss each other?"
He laughs softly before claiming your lips in a passionate kiss. "I don't think those friends exist. I don't think those are called friends." Toto replies.
You laugh. "Damn, you got me!" and after a couple of minutes, you dare to ask. "What is it about me that doesn't convince you?"
"It's not, listen, ahem..."
"I'm single and have a boyfriend job opening right now. There is no need for an interview for you, in case you are interested," you invite him shyly, asking him to please date you.
To which Toto blushes and looks down at the floor.
There's a silence break in which you slowly take distance from him, returning to where you were sitting before kissing him.
"Can I change your mind?" you ask softly at his lack of reply, which sounds more like a plea.
He turns to look at you but doesn't say yes, which hurts you. He can see it in your watery eyes.
"It's getting late. So I bett-"
"Don't leave, please." He sounds earnest.
"Chris, I'm not sure I can only be your friend with these dumb feelings I have for you. I don't know how to be around you without wanting to be with you. I'm sorry."
"This amazing idea you made of me may be wrong. I'm not that ..."
"You are kind and fun. I love those dumb reaction faces you do," a small smile forms on your lips. "You are very gentlemanly, holding the doors open for me and standing up when I arrive. I have never seen that one before! Also, holding my hand on stairs and carrying my stuff around, you make me feel so special."
"Every time we talk, it feels meaningful. Gosh, I love sharing life with you. You are so full of great advice, you know?" you continue.
No one had shown Toto such earnest affection before, not so openly.
"I can be your life coach if you have that job offer available," Toto says. You can feel his eyes piercing your skin. He is looking at you with such intensity.
"I don't know. You, you feel too meaningful, this," you gesture with your finger between you, "Feels special. And let's not talk about all of this going on here," you move your hand around, gesturing to Toto's face and body. "All this tallness hotness stuff you got going and under gets even better," you quickly add, every word speaking faster. "Those things you did to me the other night, Jesus! We could, you know, repeat it sometime or many."
A huge smile forms on his lips before he relaxes again, watching you joke around.
"I really gotta leave, tho," you say.
"Can I at least drive you home?" his voice sounds slightly sad.
"Oh, hey, no worries, it's far. That's some gas you are going to spend. I can grab the transp-"
"Please"
"I live on the outskirts projects. Do you know where those are?"
His father's best friend's real estate company developed the units in those buildings. Of course, he knows where those are! "Yes, I have an idea, but you can guide us there."
"You sure?"
"Hundred percent"
-
It's a quiet ride at first.
"Gaga, really?"
"What?" he looks at you briefly before returning his eyes to the road as "Shallow" plays in the back.
"Are you a pop girlie?! That's... you know."
He starts laughing at your reaction, judging his music taste. "Unexpected?"
"Give me." You grab his phone from the car's cup holder on the central console.
"Password?" you ask.
"941123"
"Does it have a meaning?"
"It's a birthday."
"From who?"
"A girl"
"Oh," your mild jealousy showing.
"My sister's, not... there's no one else, so you know."
There's silence for a bit. So, you keep searching on Spotify for a song you like.
"Then, why not me? If there's no one else in your life," you ask before thinking, shit! It would be best to stop pushing him, but you can't.
He gives you no answer again, and things start to feel awkward for a few streets while Arctic Monkeys play in the back.
The streets of Monaco never look more attractive as you observe them through the car's window, not being able to look at Toto and feeling embarrassed. Rejections are uncomfortable.
"Do you have or had someone?" he asks, trying to regain your attention, feeling awful too.
"I had a boyfriend for years. He was my neighbor, and he still is, sort of, he moved a couple of buildings away. Let's say he forgot he was my boyfriend before having a new girlfriend. That's a cool photo on your locked screen! I have never skied, and those snow outfits always look so cool. So handsome, gorgeous smile. Turn left here and go all the way there. Oh, you went the other way, ahem."
"You said left; this is left," Toto informs you, side-eying you.
"Oh!" you smile at him. "It was to the right, then." You make a funny oopsie face.
You open the Apple Maps app and pin your address before passing him the phone at a red light.
"Okay, got it now." Toto gives you his phone back.
"Have I told you when I got "lost" downtown? My parents went crazy! It turns out I never left the street; I just went right thinking it was left."
"WHAT?!"
"Oh yeah, get comfy on your seat, Chris. The wackiest shit always happens to me," you tell Toto before sharing that memory with him.
-
When you finally arrive in your neighborhood, it takes you forever to get to your home because you keep telling him anecdotes and memories of things that happened to you in various spots.
Toto slows down the car, amused and more than engaged in the conversation.
"And on that sloping street we used to bike down! Oh, and on Charlotte's birthday - a girl that used to live in that house in that street - we went to slide down during her party held in their front garden, and I hit the sidewalk there and flew to the grass next to it. My dress got all green in the belly and chest, and I flashed the entire party with my Hello Kitty panties before my mom rushed to see if I was okay and pulled down my dress; well, at least the guests got to know me!" you two laugh heartfully. "And that's me." You point to a building.
Suddenly, your eyebrows frown, and a concerned look fills your face.
"You good?!" Toto asks you, worried.
"Why is my dad in PJs out in the street?!"
A big guy wearing no shirt, belly on full display, not a fit body at all, and pajama pants bottoms wearing sandals was in a rush walking around the street, looking for something.
Toto parks the car, and you get out of it quickly. He follows you.
On your way to your dad, you find your mom, also wearing pajamas, hair a mess, crying in your building's entry hallway.
You instantly hug her.
"I left the door open a second!, just to get the Amazon package inside! And "Chico" went off, he ran so fast down the stairs, we can't find him anywhere! It's my fault!"
You comfort her before getting all emotional, too, and scared for Chico's well-being. Your dog flew the house; he is tiny, old, and almost blind, which is not good.
-
After one hour of searching, your family, Toto, and some neighbors still haven't found Chico.
You turn around, all desperate, and bury yourself in Toto's chest, weeping, where he wraps you in his arms and comforts you, rubbing you.
"Let's keep looking. Chico must be near."
"What if he got run over?"
"Shh, don't think of that." Toto kisses your head and soothes you. "We will find him, okay?" He bends a bit to rub his nose against yours softly and gives you a couple of brief kisses.
Your parents witness it all.
-
Around two hours later, Toto goes exploring further away from the park again.
This time, he hears muffled dog cries in the distance, so he follows the sound to find Chico under some tall bushes in a neighbor's open yard.
His little leg got stuck between the big branches, so Toto rushes to get him out and leave before he gets in trouble.
He returns to your building with Chico in his arms, who looks even smaller in those muscular arms and is all dirty.
Your mom and you run to Toto and pat Chico before hugging the Austrian from both sides.
"Our girls' hero!" your dad approaches you all and tells the dog. Chico, don't scare us like that!" before addressing Toto. "Okay, let's go. I buy the beers. We still can catch some of the game." He pats Toto's arm, assuming he is your boyfriend.
"Let me see what I can make for dinner." your mom tells you.
"Go ahead," you ask them two, wanting to have a time alone with Toto.
"Please, give me a chance. I promise you won't regret me," you beg him.
He nods.
Toto can't keep ignoring his feelings for you, which is reckless, before you two kiss while leaning on Toto's black Mercedes car - the one he told you he got lucky to inherit from his late godfather - and while holding hands.
"Honey?!" your mom calls you from the window on the second floor. Your apartment faces the street and a small grass patch. "Can you go get some cheese?"
"And more beers!" you hear your parent scream from inside. You have that bad habit of doing that.
-
Your relationship feels like a dream. It's healthy, romantic, supporting, and spicy.
There are weeks you can't keep your hands off each other or your clothes on.
Everything is soft and tender between you, helping and supporting each other throughout the day's challenges.
You talk a lot, but he is pretty reserved. You respect that and hope that time and love will change it. You want him to feel secure and loved enough to open up.
-
Toto extends his visit, staying longer after his sister's baby's christening mass and gathering in Austria at their parent's state.
He loves his young sister more than anything in life.
He wanted to spend some time with her and her kids, who were also staying there, but as soon as they left their childhood home, he remembered why he had stayed away.
-
The following day, at the garden breakfast table, his parents bring up the always-expected topic: "Torger, my dear, your father and I are worried. It's been almost seven years since you left for Monaco, two more years that agreed."
"We need you around, son. I'm afraid you are falling behind on how to handle the business only with your brief appearances with the team and at the factory," his father adds.
"I have known how the business works perfectly since I was a child; that is all you taught me. Haven't I succeeded with the new assets I created?"
"Yes. Monaco has been a total success. But you made a promise, and a Wolff keeps them. Your duty is with Silver Wolff Mercedes and this family. Man up to it." his dad gives him the ultimatum.
"I know it, believe me. But fine, I will prepare everything for my return."
"When will this be?" his father asks, growing impatient at his current lack of control over his son.
"By the end of this year. It's time enough to handle our aquatic racing team to another team principal."
"Perfect," his dad looks pleased.
"There's also another subject we would like to discuss," his mom has the word again.
Okay, this one is unexpected.
"We can't keep avoiding the fact that you have reached an age to settle down with no proper prospects. We think we could help you with that departm-"
"Hold your horses there." Toto steps in.
"Did you interrupt your mother? Your manners also stayed in Monaco?" his father looks at him sternly.
His dad has this really angry-looking resting face, but he is actually quite easygoing and even goofy sometimes.
"Sorry, continue"
"Most of your friends got married the past few years, your cousins are all fathers now, and even your baby sister has welcomed her second child. It's time for you, too. The daughter of my friend Anya is a perfect and stunning fit. She has always liked you."
"I can get girls on my own, mom, thank you."
"Yes, of course you can! You are smart, successful, handsome, fit, and wealthy. What's not to like?!" His mom gives him a look.
"Then, the problem is?"
"That finding the fit for you is not that easy. You need a girl that matches everything listed before to be even."
God! Toto had forgotten how old school his parents are.
"We are arranging this for you," his dad informs him.
"Are you like for real?! Arranging for me a marriage? Oh! Man," Toto's expression is priceless.
"Why are you articulating like that?" his dad looks at him, not in a good mood anymore.
"Like a commoner!" his mom adds. "Didn't we give you higher education? What's on the water in Monaco? It's not doing you well."
Toto chuckles but does not answer. Spending time with you and your is showing.
"Well, it's not like your father and I precisely met on a cruise, didn't we? Our parents arranged it, yet we formed a successful marriage with wonderful children."
"Understood." Toto plays along with it, not feeling like fighting it. They were sort of right.
-
You go to a fancy restaurant for your one-year anniversary. Toto never lets you pay for anything, and you tell him several times it isn't necessary.
Monaco is expensive for the working class, and you know the struggle. You don't want him to feel that type of pressure on him.
You know he works as a coach on an aquatic racing team in town, which is not a high-salary job precisely.
But he insists, and any hint of you putting a fight tonight goes away the moment he picks you up wearing that fancy suit, looking unbelievably handsome.
You are left speechless, and he closes your mouth with a finger on your chin before kissing your lips and hand.
"Wow," he whispers to you while he looks you up. You are wearing a fancy, tight blue dress, all glam up. "I'm so lucky." Toto lets out.
-
During dinner, an "I love you" scapes your lips.
Toto gets saved by the bell in the form of a marriage proposal happening in the following table.
You two clap for the couple like the rest of the people at the tables surrounding them when she says yes.
When Toto turns around, he sees you looking at him in a way he wants to shoot himself.
What had he done!?
How could he have been so irresponsible?
He hates himself for being unable to say no to you from the beginning.
-
While you two make love passionately, you ask him while riding him, his dick filling you completely as you rock your hips eagerly, bouncing on him while holding hands and between moans that he stays forever.
-
Toto has a full-on panic attack in the bathroom of the hotel suite you went to spend your anniversary night while you peacefully sleep after fucking your brains off, not knowing what to do now.
You shouldn't be part of his life. This wasn't supposed to happen!
But the fear of losing you is equal to his fear of hurting you.
To confess is not an option. God! You will hate him when you discover the truth and that he lied to you about his life since the day you met him.
This Christian Bednarczyk is a facade that hides something worse, Toto Wolff.
-
"A what?!" Your parents and you all turn to look at him with a funny face, all situated at the outdoor table.
You went camping on a family trip for the weekend.
"What's with all those fancy words you say here and there?" your mom asks.
"Yeah, right? I also noticed!" you add, pointing.
"You went to one of those "big farts" schools?" your dad questions him while biting his steak.
"Baby, do you want something else?" you ask Toto as you continue placing food on the big plate in the middle of the table and still taking ribs from the grill.
"No, love, I'm so full!" Toto rubs his belly.
"We ate half a cow already." your dad colorfully adds, as usual, still a bit of food in his mouth.
Toto and your dad nod, recognizing themselves as guilty.
"I used to read a lot," Toto answers his question.
"That's from where your posh English comes from. Makes sense! Honey, pass Mr. Thesaurus here another beer?" your dad messes around and requests you.
Their relationship is as great as yours is.
Toto loves to hang out with your family. Sometimes, he is even at your parents' tiny apartment, where you still live, not yet able to afford a place of your own, when you are not.
Where they constantly and unintentionally embarrass you in front of him, creating lots of funny moments on both sides.
Your parents knew no shame, and Toto's out-of-touch secret silver spoon upbringing sometimes made him say and do things that made him look like he was from Mars. Not teasing him was impossible.
But all in good spirits!
-
It's Sunday morning.
Toto and your dad watch the race in the living room while you are in the kitchen sink, blending acrylic paints and listening to their funny, excited little screams.
They are both fans of the F1. As the race is in the final laps with a clear winner and they go to commercial break, Toto goes to the fridge for a can of Coca-Cola.
"Pss, pss," you grab his attention.
He turns to you to see you approaching him and softly pushing him to the broom closet; he puts no resistance.
"Yes?" he asks you suspiciously, standing beside a mop.
You steal a passionate kiss from him first, and as you pull away to catch your breaths, you explain.
"Mom and I are saving to get tickets to the race here in Monaco for dad as a birthday gift. Do you want to come? We plan to have breakfast at that seafood place he took us once."
"The one with the delicious baked coconut shrimp?"
"Yes, the one with the cook owner with a lazy eye."
"Captain Evil Eye"
You two invented a whole backstory in which that dude used to be a pirate in his prime.
"And then, off to the race! We plan on going all dress the same, you know, dad's team."
The idea of Toto showing up in Ferrari gear was hilarious. That man had poor taste in all senses, but especially in teams.
Actually, it was a great and iconic team, but their fierce rival was so it was an instant and natural despise.
"I would love to, but I'll be in Austria, remember? I plan on giving your dad his birthday gift before leaving."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot! Son of a Biscuit!"
"Yup!" Toto says it like you do.
"What are you two doing hiding there in the broom closet?!" Your dad says as he gives you THE LOOK, now standing before you, opening the door. "I would like to remind you, Chris, I'm a police officer and have my gun in that drawer," your dad messes around.
Toto raises both hands and gets out of there and away from you. "I didn't even touch her," he says while collecting his stuff and heading to the door. "Oh, but she did!" he jokes, quickly closing the door after him as your mom and you die of laughter.
"You better run!" your dad says aloud.
"See you at night! It's sushi night!" Toto screams from the street as you and Chico appear on the window.
"Have a great day, sweety!" your mom warmly screams Toto goodbye.
He was coaching today.
-
Toto hates to lie to you.
He did not travel to Austria. He is there at the race, but at the pitlane in his team's garage, away from the cameras, next to his dad running this thing.
The live coverage crew knows they can't shoot any of the Wolff family members, and they don't dare disobey, so there is no risk since you and your family are in a sector far far away.
-
By this point, Toto's family has been trying to arrange a marriage for him with his father's goddaughter for months. Her name is Emma. She is a lovely girl, but she is not you.
Toto's parents think they successfully brainwashed him into thinking he is old enough now to settle down and form a family.
Not only to keep the family's social rank and prestige but also to bear beautiful children with a gorgeous rich wife and grow the fortune of his future heirs.
Toto plays along with it, but he is no longer interested in anyone after being with you.
Be dating you is the best well-kept secret that he has held from his parents throughout his life.
Only Obi knows about you. He won't risk his other friends opening their mouths, spreading the rumor among the elites, and reaching his family.
-
There is no part of you Toto didn't explore, a corner of your body he didn't touch, or part of you he doesn't own.
-
On a Thursday after work, you meet Obi, Toto's roommate. Since they both share a tiny apartment without privacy, Toto never takes you there.
Obi is so handsome and tall, with a gorgeous smile and a sexy British accent; he looks like an African prince. He is super fun, light-spirited, and a clear best friend of your boyfriend.
Thanks to him, you get to know a bit more about Toto's life, well, about Chris's life.
They met in college.
"Two broke kids with crazy parents," Obi says among laughs.
Then you find out that Toto is not close with his parents, that's why he never mentions them.
-
You want to know why Toto's relationship with his parents got strangled. Maybe you can help to fix it.
When you ask the real questions, he dodges them, along with your requests to meet his family, even though he has met everyone relatively important in your life, even your dog!
-
A month passes, and Toto picks you up to go on a date, but you forget your paintbrush roll-up bag upstairs in the workshop, where you work above the gallery.
He offers to get it, and while you wait for him, you grab his phone to put your shared couple's playlist with songs both of you like.
Whenever you unlock his phone, it warms your heart. Toto changed his password to your birth date.
Amidst choosing a song, a text arrives from some "Emma,"
You aren't toxic, not one of those people who routinely nose in their partner's phones, but this one makes your jealousy monster come out.
Why is this girl calling him "my love"?
God, you wish you hadn't opened that conversation.
-
As Toto opens the door to get back inside the car, he gets welcomed by you, holding his phone and looking mad before asking him:
"Whose Emma?"
FUCK!
TORGER YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
FUCK!
-
"Let me explain to you, please."
Tears are filling your eyes.
"Wait, not, please don't do that, don't cry," he looks desperate.
Then, you finally discover he has been seeing another woman for potential nuptials due to his parent's idea of arranging his marriage. You are a secret he has kept from them.
"So all this time, I was the "meanwhile," an entertainment for when the real one arrived." you sound so hurt and bitter.
"Don't say that." Toto looks anguished.
"That's why you didn't say it back."
"What?" he asks.
"When I told you I love you,"
"I hate myself more than you can imagine for hurting you like this. I didn't plan for any of this! It happened, and I couldn't be more grateful to have you in my life. You have no idea how much you have healed me. I was completely lost before you, and I don't want to break your heart..."
"Too late for that! Thank you, asshole, for exploding it into pieces." you interrupt him. "I will help you and your parents with that; I'm going to stay the fuck away of your life. I'm a fucking idiot!"
"I'm the fucking idiot here, for not being honest with you, for the lies, for everything. Please forgive! Don't leave me," Toto is begging for his life.
"Does the sorry for everything part also involve me?!" tears are everywhere on your face, but rage is starting to show, too.
"For hurting you! Do you think I regret any of this?! That I regret us!?! You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me!" Toto confesses now in a loud voice, too heated.
"Yet not great enough apparently to put an end to that shit circus going on with your family. If you truly loved me, you would fight for me, for us."
"Y/N, you don't know them..." Toto barely murmurs.
"Wrong answer," you say, lips trembling, before exiting the car and slamming the door.
Every step you take away from him kills you. You are so disheveled that you can't even show up to your parents.
-
As the weeks go by, you still look like a depressed mess, a shell of a person living life.
Not wanting to leave the bed, shower, eat, or go out.
Your mom and dad are distraught. Your dad even suggests you go to "the looney."
God, he tries! But that is how concerned he is.
It is clear to them that Toto and you broke up, and they are sad about it, too. They considered him part of the family, but there isn't a clear explanation yet.
To touch the subject with you is impossible, so they cease.
-
Time plus painting helps you heal, and your art becomes more edgy and moody, which sells well. At least a positive outcome of this!
You blocked Toto out of your life. And you are still trying to erase him from your mind, heart, and body.
-
Five months have passed since you two broke up when a call comes from an unlisted number.
You answer your phone a bit dubious.
"Miss Y/N Y/LN?" the voice of a professional-sounding woman answers.
"Yes, who's speaking?"
"I am contacting you from the front desk of the ER at Princess Grace Hospital here in Monaco" Fuck! Something happened to your parents! You start to panic. "On behalf of Dr. Gastaud, you appear listed as Mr. Torger Wolff's emergency contact. He is curre-"
"Oh, wrong number, then. I don't know that person." You feel a brief sense of relief.
"Oh? But all your information is on our system. Are you sure you don't know patient Torger Christian Wolff Bednarczyk?"
"Christian! Yes, of course, is he okay!?" you feel your heart in your throat.
"We just moved him to intensive care. We need you here as soon as possible." She sounds so calm in comparison to you.
"I'm on my way!"
-
As the male nurse rushes Toto's IC bed across the doors, the doctor explains to you as you two walk alongside it at the same pace.
"Apparently, he was on the deck of his yacht where he slipped and hit his head. His staff brought him here."
His yacht? His staff?! What?!
"The blood tests showed a high ingest of alcohol in his system." The doctor continues.
But Chris doesn't drink like that! He barely likes beers. Why?!
"He hit his head against the yacht's railing and has lost a lot of blood; according to the x-rays and the MRI, his brain is a bit swollen, and his arm got broken. I need your approval, miss."
The doctor stops for a second, grabbing the clipboard at the end of Toto's bed, next to his feet.
"What for?!"
"To induce him into a coma," the doctor answers.
You feel like fainting.
"I, I, I..." you are entering a state of shock that the doctor immediately recognizes as being used to dealing with those.
"Miss Y/LN," he snaps his fingers, getting you back. "We are losing time. It's the best option to stabilize and prevent him from leaving us. Do you approve of it?" The doctor shoves the clipboard to you.
"Yes," you feel your soul leaving your body.
"Sign here and wait there. It's going to take time," the doctor informs you.
-
You notify your parents about the situation. They immediately come to the hospital to join you while you wait for Toto's procedure to finish.
"We brought you dinner," your mom sweetly mentions.
"Thank you, mom, but I'm not hungry. Actually, I threw up a bit ago," you confess.
"Let's pray, then." your mom grabs your shaky hands.
-
After it gets done, they move Toto to an intensive care room; tons of tubes, cables, and saline and meds bags get plugged into him.
This is and looks like a nightmare.
It feels so wrong for you two to reunite like this since you called it quits.
Then, as the hurtful memory of that day hits you back, an even worse crosses your mind.
His parents. They need to know! Do they know already? Did they get notified, too?
-
Around 3 a.m., you gather the energy to go to the front desk. Your mom stayed with you at the hospital to spend the night. She will look over Toto as you investigate.
This room and the whole private area look expensive. It would be best to ask about Toto's insurance and the bills here. You are already worrying about how he is going to pay for it. You have some savings he could use if needed.
-
"Hi, miss. Did Mr. Wolff's parents get notified, too?" you ask the lady who called you.
"We only notify the people on his emergency contact list; you were the only one registered there," she explains.
"Oh..."
"But you can contact his insurance agent. They usually notify the patient's family. Personally, I never rely on the insurance people; sometimes they are the worst," she whispers to you, hiding behind her palm.
You look at her with a blank expression.
"Would you like the phone number to call?" she looks at you, a bit confused.
Why would you ask her for all this essential information about your husband? He registered you as his wife on the list.
Only if she knew.
She prints a sheet of paper and underlines some numbers with her blue pen.
"Thank you so much."
-
After a lengthy exchange with the insurance people and many revelations you didn't see coming, you obtain the number of Toto's father's office.
They indeed live in Austria. Toto's insurance covers him up to millions, a shocking amount, and the "Wolffs" are an important family you should know about.
You check on Google if it's a suitable hour to call Austria before remembering this is an emergency.
Toto appears stable, but he is not progressing as the doctor hoped. There is still not much brain activity on the damaged part.
You gain the courage to hit the call button after going over and over about how to introduce yourself and explain what is happening.
-
"Miss Y/N, hold in the line for a second. Thank you," Toto's father's beautiful assistant, sitting at her desk, tells you as she pushes a button on the intercom while holding the phone between her ear and shoulder.
"Mr. Wolff! I have a girl on the line who says she is your son's girlfriend. She needs to inform you something about Toto. It sounds important."
Emma?! Did Torger propose to her? His dad thinks. "Yes, communicate her."
His dad picks up the phone.
"Emma? Good afternoon, dear. How can I help you?"
So Toto is still with her?
"Good night, Mr. Wolff," your voice takes him by surprise. "I'm Y/N Y/LN. Your son is in intensive care at Princess Grace Hospital here in Monaco. We don't know how, but he slipped on a yacht deck, hitting his head with the railing. The hospital notified me, so I came as quickly as possible."
"How is my son doing? Please send all the information to my assistant's number. We will arrive there soon." He sounds genuinely concerned.
"He is stable, sir," you feel your voice cracking. "But he is not progressing as the doctors expected."
"What doctors? I need the names and the medical records sent to me. We would go through them on the jet on our way there. We have many top-tier medical professionals on call."
"Ahem, give me a second. I'm searching for the full names," you say as you ask your mom to pass you some papers. Mr. Wolff hears other voices around you.
"Is this a scam?!" he sounds mad now.
"Sorry?"
"Whose there?"
"My mom"
"I have no idea who any of you are or why my son is in there with you. Hold," he pushes a button and asks his assistant to contact Torger.
No answer, she tries again.
"Could you tell Mr. Wolff to keep the conversation on the other line?" you answer from Toto's phone.
The nurse just handed you a bag with the belongings Toto was admitted with at the hospital just a second ago. His bloodstained clothes disturbed you deeply.
This would have been very helpful hours before.
It turns out his phone is still on, and Toto hasn't changed his password.
"Mr. Wolff, why would I be joking with something as serious as this?"
"It's unexpected news."
"For all of us, I asked the nurse for the medical records. I already sent the doctor's names to your assistant."
"Is my son heavily medicated, resting, or is he able to talk to us?" Toto's mom is also present and listening through the speaker.
"He is in a coma."
-
"WHO PERMITTED YOU TO INDUCE MY SON INTO A COMA! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? ARE YOU AWARE HOW DANGEROUS IT IS? THE MINIMAL MISTAKE COULD DAMAGE HIM FOR LIFE IF NOT KILL HIM."
You can hear the screams coming from inside as Mr. Wolff is at a reunion with the doctors.
Your parents and you are sitting on one side of the narrow hallway, and Toto's mom is on the other, right in front of you, without talking to you.
Toto is getting "showered" by the nurse, and you all leave the room to give him privacy.
His mom is so beautiful and well-dressed that you feel almost ashamed of how you look at the moment, but those were the clothes you were wearing when they gave you the news. You haven't left the hospital for a second.
"Mom, could you please bring me some fresh clothes and my things."
"But honey, we don't want to leave you alone."
"No worries, Mr. and Mrs. Wolff are here, too."
"Are you sure?" she asks, concerned because they don't appear particularly friendly toward any of you.
You nod.
"We'll return faster than a kid getting chased by a dog," your dad says, waving and loudly addressing Mrs. Wolff. She scrutinizes him and slightly nods.
After some minutes alone, she asks you.
"Why brought him to this cheap hospital?" she looks around, not pleased with what she sees.
"It's near the harbor where his yacht apparently is."
"Young lady, if you had any involvement in his accident, you should speak right now; our detectives will conduct an investigation."
"Detectives?"
"Well, our son is worth millions, and our family billions, and you, out of nowhere, appeared as his emergency contact, also as his caretaker and the primary beneficiary in case something happens to him." she says, her eyes piercing brown eyes looking into your soul. Toto added you some months ago without telling you anything. "And suddenly, this happens."
"WHAT?!" Okay, this is just not real. "I wasn't even there when it happened, and I had no idea about everything you mentioned."
-
Toto's parents want you out of the picture as soon as possible. Now it's clear to them you are the reason why Toto keeps pushing away his engagement with Emma.
They act cold to you and yours. However, the hospital and doctors allow you to stay and partake in life decision-making regarding him and the procedures he needs since you are also Toto's legal caretaker, much to their dislike.
-
"How much?" his father catches you off guard one afternoon.
"Pardon?"
"How much money do you want to stay away?"
"I'm not here for any of that. Please don't ask me that again; it's insulting," you warn Toto's dad, not letting you be intimidated by him and holding his stare.
This surprises them and earns you some of their respect.
-
Your life becomes being by Toto's side at the hospital, swallowing your social life, job, and income.
Toto's parents listen to the call in which your boss, against all her will, has no other remedy to fire you. You take it easy before returning to shaving Toto's beard tenderly and fixing his hair with a comb.
A brief, empathetic look crosses Toto's mom's eyes.
-
Still, your parents support you, knowing how much this and he means to you, yet unsure why you two ended things up since you both seemed so in love.
-
You remain silent under Toto's parents' continuous demands to know all about your relationship, current status, and details.
"Did you were sleeping around with our son?" his mom asks.
"We were in love and were in a relationship."
You refuse to speak more than that about it because it is personal, it's none of their business, and it also still hurts, and you don't want to give them the pleasure.
-
One day, they arrive with Emma; that girl is stunning and as classy and elegant as them.
She rushes in and places herself on the side of Toto's IC bed before tenderly caressing his cheeks and kissing his lips.
All in front of you, inside, you want to smack her away from him, but you know she is in no way responsible for this situation; she was dragged into this mess, too.
You remain quiet, watching it unfold before you. To Toto's parents' surprise, they expected a big drama.
-
After she leaves, they talk to you, explaining why they believe Emma is a better fit for Toto than you in all aspects and that if you love their son, you should step aside since you and your family don't belong with their kind.
-
A couple of days later, Toto undergoes another surgery but fails to stabilize.
Doctors are unable to make more progress with him, so his father ponders moving Toto to a better hospital in Austria or Switzerland after finding a legal grey area in the caretaker clause, which sends you into a frenzy and full panic that they take Toto away.
"Moving him is a risk, a gamble," you warn them.
"We don't see enough progress here."
"And over there would be any different? They can assure you that?" you ask.
"No, they can't."
-
That idea doesn't materialize anyway because, throughout that night, Toto's condition gets worse, and you all learn he could die.
That causes you to enter into the worst depressive mood you have ever had and look significantly affected in the eyes of Toto's parents.
This raises questions in their mind that you might be more than a side chick and your connection more profound than just sex and financial interest, as you claimed several times, to their disbelief.
-
Toto needs to undergo a risky procedure. There's a tiny chance of survival, but a speedy and total recovery awaits him if he does.
Your family and his gather to say goodbye as Toto gets moved at the doors leading to the operation room.
You don't know what to say. You're full of fear, so your dad goes first.
"Hey, big guy, once you told us you were strong enough, with those big arms of yours, to take down John Cena, I'm sure you will be strong enough to tackle this down," you and your parents chuckle at the inner joke.
The three of you remember that day you all got in the new furniture up the stairs.
You laugh until your laughter quickly turns to tears, and you break down for the first time. Your dad hugs you tightly.
"He loves you so much, enough to not run away from you and us after that day!" your mom adds, looking at you with a tiny smile. "You can do this, sweetie." she grabs Toto's hand and addresses him.
You are a total mess when you get close to him. You rest your temple in his. "Please don't leave me, please; I love you, Torger," you beg him, using this name for the first time.
Toto's family observes you say goodbye, giving you the space to it.
Before they come closer to kissing his son's forehead, "We love you, and we'll see you soon."
-
He survives, Toto is out of risk, and he is in excellent condition for a transfer to another hospital.
So you make a deal with his parents to not take him away from you.
They will allow Toto to remain at this hospital and you to be by his side till he finishes recovering fully.
But after that, you will be out of his life for good.
-
Two weeks later, Toto's health improves, bringing him out of the coma.
-
Toto's vision is blurry. His eyes cannot focus well, and the light hurts him a lot. He also hears a loud whistle in his ears.
He thinks he hears people say, "He's baiting his eyes." "Yes, he is opening them."
He rubs the palm of his right hand against his face, closing his eyes again before being able to focus more. Shapes become more precise as he turns his head to the side and sees you.
"Y/N?" his voice sounds so rough and crackly.
"Hi," you let out in a cry.
He reaches your face with his hand, touching around, not seeing you well.
Toto feels dizzy and confused. "I wanted to make sure you were real this time," he closes his eyes for a second and exhales. "I v o," he murmurs.
"Sorry?" you ask.
"I love you," says louder. Toto thinks he sees your big smile. "Love of my life," he adds, staring at you.
"Hi, son," he hears his father's voice on the other side of his face.
"Dad?"
He feels his hand on his.
"Welcome back," his mom squeezes his arm and holds it tight.
"What?" he is so confused.
Before the accident starts coming back to him, he tries to pull himself up, but his head hurts a lot, no strength at all.
"Easy, easy," you rush to aid him when the nurses and doctor enter.
-
"How are those Bambi legs doing?" you ask in a brief imitation movement as you greet Toto, to his amusement.
"Look at these tighs, stronger than ever," he jokes back.
"Strong enough to choke out John Cena?" your dad asks him, joining the fun and giving him a friendly shake.
"How are you, sweetie pie?" your mom greets him.
"Feeling better, the headaches are getting less intense."
His parents watch you interact, still not mingling, but not as judgy as once they were.
His recovery therapy has been a long journey. Most of his damage showed up in his physical motor skills, so there were lots of sessions on walking, coordination, and more.
You have been by his side every second of it.
-
During his remaining and final weeks at the hospital, his parents see Toto behave as they had never seen him before. He looks so happy, full of life, and in love.
They also notice how well you take care of him and his recovery.
The soft touches you two share and the looks you exchange show undeniable affection and love.
-
When he finally leaves the hospital, he holds a small dinner to celebrate and thank you for all your support.
It's your first time visiting his apartment. He never lived with Obi, and it turns out that guy is even richer than him.
It's a penthouse luxurious as fuck.
There is a lot of food and drinks, and everyone looks so happy, everyone but you.
You know that tonight is the night you say goodbye to him. His parents give you a hint that this is the moment for you to stay true to your word.
So, after everyone leaves, Toto approaches you on the balcony.
"It's a sick view!" you softly say, feeling the sea's breeze on your face as you admire the panorama.
"I kind of miss Ms. Telbot's awful curtains," he says, referring to the neighbor across the street from your parent's place.
"Oh! She got new ones! They are even worse!"
You two share a laugh.
"Could you give me a second chance? I promise you I won't disappoint you." Toto asks you. He looks at you in a way that makes you want to throw yourself into his arms and for him to take you straight to his bed, but you can't.
"I'm sorry. It's best this way," you barely whisper.
"I know I hurt you a lot, and I screwed things up, but please, allow me to fix it." he looks hopeless.
"It's not that. I now get the full picture and understand why you made those choices. You belong with someone who suits you and your life better. It's going to make everything easier for you. I respected your choice, and I hope you respect mine," you say with conviction while trying to hold back your tears and eat your feelings.
"Why this feels like a goodbye?" he asks, choking up.
"Because it is. You are the best thing that ever happened in my life, too, and I'm so happy we made it through that and that you are still here. You deserve an amazing life; we both do, but we are not made for each other."
-
As the Wolff family jet leaves Monaco the following day, Toto looks out the window while crying in silence, tears flowing down his face.
His parents exchange looks, feeling the guilt.
-
A week later, as Toto finishes the recovery exercises he still needs to do, his dad checks on him; Toto has looked like a complete mess since they arrived.
"Emma wants to see you. She is being insistent. It could also be good for you, some company and warmth."
"Who?" he looks confused for a second. "Oh, yeah, the Rothschilds girl, yeah, dad, I'm, my head is hurting a lot today, maybe tomorrow."
His dad nods before leaving, knowing it wasn't a time to push him.
-
A month passes, and Toto hears a couple of knocks on his childhood room's enormous, regal wood door, where he is staying for the moment, as he finishes fixing his tie.
They were expecting the Rothschilds over for a "special dinner."
"This ring belonged to your grandma, then to my mother, then to me, and now it belongs to you," his mom says, giving him the vintage red velvet box.
Toto looks at it, leaving a big sigh to escape his lips, and unenthusiasticly nods. He seems beyond resigned.
-
As they wait for their guests to arrive at the Wolff state, sitting on the elegantly set garden table, Toto looks miserable. He is there, but he indeed isn't.
"You are feeling this way because of Y/N?" his mom asks him, not being able to see his son suffering a minute more.
Toto's eyes go up at the mention of your name. "It doesn't matter anymore anyway."
"Why?" his father asks.
"She didn't have me back. She wants me out of her life."
"That's not true," his mom adds.
"Excuse me, but how could you know that?"
"We may have made a mistake," she confesses, looking sad and guilty.
"What do you mean?"
"We judge her poorly. Her family is something peculiar, the father..." she puts a face. "But the love she feels for you is undeniable. You know she never left your side at the hospital? Not even a second."
"She lived in there. She even lost her job," Toto's dad explains.
"WHAT?!" Toto looks now concerned. That was your only source of income! "Wait, what did you do?!" now he looks mad.
"We did what we thought was best for our son, but it wasn't."
"What did you do?!" he sounds so severe right now.
"We... found a grey area... in the caretaker clause, so we thought it was best for us to transfer you to a hospital here in Austria, where we could look after you."
"Away from her." Toto sounds judgy, eyes piercing them.
"Yes, so, she, we, made a deal," his mom continues explaining. "She would stay out of your life after it if we let you stay there until she saw you leave the hospital fully recovered."
"That's why those words didn't sound like hers that night. How could you do that to me, to us?!" he sounds resentful.
"Because we didn't know Y/N and had no idea how strong that bond between you truly was. Her love for you is indisputable." His dad tells him.
"She never cracked under our pressure; she fought hard and fair and did an amazing job caring for you." He continues. "It's our fault, and we are deeply sorry."
For Toto's dad to apologize and for his mom to look this ashamed it was something so significant and never seen.
"So now what?! Emma and her parents will be here any minute." Toto says.
"Only if you had a jet waiting for you to leave for Monaco," his dad expresses, winking an eye.
"Only if you had a ring to offer to Y/N," his mom tells Toto, raising her eyebrows and tilting her head.
-
You arrive at the gallery, finally back at your job, and glad your boss hired you again! You are so excited to paint in the workshop.
You finish pushing the door, which is already slightly open. Someone must have arrived early, too, but the place is empty, to your surprise.
You don't think much of it. You go straight to the easel with your name on it, pull out all your brushes and materials from your bag, and remove the dust white sheet on top of the empty canvas.
You look perplexed as you read the freshly brush-painted letters on it: "Will you marry me?"
"I found the truth," Toto's voice makes you jump slightly.
You turn around to watch him smile big at you with adoring sparkling eyes before you answer his question.
"Yes"
- More Toto Wolff fics right here > Masterlist
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Join us at The Wolff Pack Discord Server > https://discord.com/invite/tpgArxqbfd
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rayaverra · 9 months
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Love Amidst the Noise // Luke Castellan
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pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader
genre: fluff (i guess)
summary: you get a little overexcited while talking, and your friends find it annoying. When Luke finds you sad and quiet, he comforts you.
warning(s): none
wc: 654
notes: this actually happened to me in real life, so shout-out to my best friend for his kind words :')
english is not my first language, so there may be mistakes.
・❥・༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶・❥・
"And we visited this museum when my dad took me on a trip to Boston, and the art there was just amazing! So many different types of paintings... all these vibrant colours that matched... and the amount of detail..." You were sharing your winter experience with your friends, feeling passionate about the art. Now that summer break had started and you were back in camp, you were excited to share all your latest stories, but none of your friends seemed to really care.
"Yeah... yeah... we get it! Your father took you to see some old paintings," one of them said, rolling their eyes, and soon afterwards everyone else joined.
"Yeah, who cares about some old paintings that all look the same anyway?" Another one added, and your smile suddenly faded, feeling sad that they spoke like that about something you cared so much about.
"And you've been talking about it for almost an hour! Don't you let anyone else speak?" And with that, you closed your mouth, feeling unwanted; you didn't say anything for the rest of your friends conversation.
Later that day, you were sitting on your cabin's table earlier than everyone else, not being in much of a mood. You started to wonder if everyone thought the same as your friends. You knew that sometimes you talked too much, but you couldn't control it. Did everyone in camp think you were annoying?
A familiar figure approached you. At first, you didn't turn to see who it was, but soon you realized it was your dear friend from the Hermes cabin, Luke Castellan.
He noticed your unusual silence and your worried expression. "Hey, is everything okay?" He asked gently.
"Fine..." You said, avoiding his gaze. And that, with the fact that you replied without using many words, like you always liked to explain the details, made him curious as to who got you sad. Deep down, he was also slightly angry that someone would hurt his best friend like this.
"Come' on, I know you better than that." He smiled softly, reaching across the table and gently holding your hand. "You can tell me everything, you know."
You hesitate for a bit, feeling a lump form in your throat. "Do you ever find me annoying?" You eventually blurted out, surprising both Luke and yourself.
He furrowed his eyebrows, looking genuinely puzzled. "Annoying? Not at all! Why would you think that?"
You signed, looking into his filled-with-kindness blue eyes, giving him a weak smile. He was so gentle with you that it warmed your heart.
You sighed, finally deciding to share the weight on your shoulders. "My friends, they... They always complain about me talking too much and never let me finish."
Luke's expression shifted from confusion to understanding. "You're not annoying, not to me. I love how you light up when you talk, how your eyes sparkle. Your enthusiasm is one of the things I adore about you."
Your heart warmed upon hearing his comforting words. You realized that you had found someone who appreciated you for who you were.
"Don't let them get to you. You're amazing just the way you are, and anyone who can't see that doesn't deserve your energy." He said, moving a strand of your hair behind your ear. You smiled, remembering how fun it was when you explained to Luke the history of each painting, and him listening intensively.
"Thank you, Luke." You smiled, moving closer, sniffing a little, and resting your head on his shoulder after giving him a hug.
"Can you tell me about that painting with that couple on a swing again?" Luke asked, and you blushed, nodding your head and starting to tell him about the famous Cot's painting.
In that moment, the weight lifted, and you felt a newfound strength. As you continued your conversation, you found solace in Luke's understanding, grateful to have someone who valued every word you shared.
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llamagoddessofficial · 10 months
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I'm on my knees for any more crumbs with prison AU therapist Mc and Sans 🙏 the more equal(?) dynamic is just so good And to the anon that brought it up—I love you
I'll do you one better. Here's some crumbs for ALL of them
Since she's not a nurse, this Mc doesn't have a very strong stomach. Stories of Skull's crimes sometimes make her physically ill.
Generally, Sans and Mc's 'sessions' can be quite pleasant. They talk about current events, how things are going. It's only once she starts trying to explore his feelings that he starts toying with her.
... Red teases her a lot. She tries not to react to it, it's unprofessional, but he can always tell when he's flustering her. He gets this infuriating smug grin.
Since Red is a high risk prisoner, he has to have one hand cuffed to a table during therapy. He often complains that he wishes he could be cuffed alone in a room with her in different circumstances. What Mc doesn't realise is that, considering his strength, the cuffs are basically for decoration- Red just pretends he can't break out of them so she feels more comfortable alone in a room with a massive skeleton monster who openly displays interest in her.
Sans doesn't require cuffs in his sessions. And the only time he was cuffed, he snapped them 'accidentally' to make a point. It just makes it all the more nervewracking for Mc.
Skull doesn't know she's his therapist. He thinks she just really cares about him. That's why she keeps coming back to see him, right?
Red isn't the only flirt. Sans is a lot more forward in this AU, considering she knows the truth about his nature. Granted, Sans being 'clear' about something is still incredibly cryptic, but he enjoys the shock in her eyes whenever he calmly flirts with her.
Red's flirting is warm, sincere, and never crosses the line... it leaves her flushed and (though she'd never admit it) flattered. Sans' flirting is nervewracking. It makes her feel like she's a mouse, and Sans is a cat playfully batting at her, capable of clawing her to death at any moment.
Skull gains bits and pieces of speech back a lot faster with her. Unfortunately, that means he's learning how to terrify the guards. It used to be that Skull would just scream or snarl, but now he likes to say broken ominous sentences to guards he doesn't like to see them shit their pants.
He's also figured out that, when he's really upset and angry, if he screams her name enough someone will send her. It's not a great lesson to learn... but it's better than him deciding to attack people.
Whenever Mc tries to get Skull to do therapeutic art with her, he just draws the same thing over and over. The art is scribbly thanks to his tremor, but it always looks like three people; a tall skeleton, a shorter skeleton, and a human. He draws them in various positions- standing together, sitting around a table, sitting on a couch. She suspects one skeleton is him and the human could be her, but she doesn't know who the tall skeleton is.
(It's him, her, and Papyrus. His family)
Sans, for all his power and control, gets ratty and jealous when she treats other people. The first time he hears her laugh is when she realises that was why he's being moody.
She'd never seen him so delighted before.
Sans likes when she dodges his conversational traps. He'll try to lure her into talking about herself, revealing information to him, but she won't fall for it and always turns it back on him. There's not much he's been able to glean from her. It's always so fun, to play with someone who knows what they're doing.
Again, she'll never admit it. But Mc is fascinated by Sans. Most serial killers are delusional and kinda pathetic, but Sans is as if all the stereotypes of the 'genius mastermind serial killer' were true. She gets to be up close and personal, see how he works; she gets to watch his mask rise and fall in real time.
Of course, he knows she's fascinated. He uses it to keep her coming back. He's fascinated with her, too~
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mechaknight-98 · 4 months
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Team Up I (NSFW) FT Chodan and Momo
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Authors Note: Have y'all checked out Qwer… I mean Sheesh. Also I am aware that I may have a type. Part II: Coming eventually
The first time I met Chodan I was at a random bookstore in California looking for the most recent volume of Kaiju no. 8, Go Go Loser Ranger and ultraman. I noticed her nabbing a few copies of bleach (my favorite of the big three) she was wearing a simple white shirt and dark pants. Cautiously I approach she tracks me and I force my most confident and resolute smile. I think of an opener but she beats me to it. 
“I see you like manga. How do you feel about Bleach.” She asked. 
“It is my favorite of the big three. I love its expressive art style and how the author portrays and draws “black characters” his portrayal is only second to the author of Soul Eater and Fire Force” I respond. The lady smiles like I passed her test.
“My name is Chodan,” I nod 
“Okay Chodan  I dig it, but seeing you up close up you have this weird sense of familiarity.” I lied. Chodan  smirked
“Well, that depends are you on twitch.” She asked seductively she was surprised when I shook my head. Seeing the opportunity I say, 
“I got it,” I say mock recollecting, “you’ve been the lady running around in my dreams” Chodan laughs and smiles.
“You’re funny I like that. What’s your name?” She questioned 
                        Two years later
“Okay, Cho. I am at arrivals,” I say to my girlfriend who’s been driving around the airport waiting for me. She had flown in the week prior for a series of shows across Japan. I was flying in to see "League of Legends" World championship which was in Tokyo this year. I was also staying an extra two days to see the showcase because I love her so much. She didn’t know it though. 
When I saw her I smiled. “Hey sexy thing, you waiting for me?” she asked as she rolled the window. I smile as I get in 
“You know you saying that makes me sound like a prostitute,” I tease.
Cho smiles back, “Well maybe I think you are a cheap whore. You would still be my favorite though.” I laugh with her as she drives off.
“So where are we heading?” I ask as she drives from the airport.
“Our little love nest than a PC Bang probably, don't worry though they have a card shop attached so you can play commander,” Chodan said with a smile. 
“You know me so well,” babe I say as she pulls up to the Hotel’s parking Chodan smiles before kissing my cheek. We get into the hotel and I set my bag down and take in the view. 
“You like it?” Chodan asks. I nodded and turned to her
“Yes, but I like this view more,” I say as I watch her take off her jacket and reveal her tight tank top. I kiss her and she chuckles
"You're such a slut you know that," She teases while bringing me in for a passionate kiss. her hands wander across my chest and arms before she breaks the kiss and lifts the tank top over her head. her eyes are wide with lust as I smile before responding
"Well, when my girlfriend looks this hot how can I say no, ya know?"
"Well, Why can't I just be sexy without my whore of a boyfriend needing to fuck me?" She teases back. Playing her game I respond in kind
"I can take a nap we don't have to do this," I respond. Cho responds aggressively by throwing my shirt off me and forcing my pants open. 
"I have gone without this evil but delicious cock for 4 months. you are not going to deprive me of it any longer," she growls and I worry slightly because she's never done that before. but my fears are soon pushed away as she takes my cock into her mouth. Her tight vacuum seal around my rod is intoxicating and causes me to begin moaning for her
“Ah fuck Jihye,” I moan out reverting to her real name. She takes me in further than she ever has as her throat relaxes around my cock and her eyes scream at me to go deeper, so I lightly grab the sides of her head before fulfilling her request. I plunge my cock deeper. Her gags and my moans are the only audible sounds resonating in the room I look down at my lovely girlfriend and gone is the cute girl I have come to love and cherish replaced with a hungry predator. She devoured my rod with the fervor of a starved animal. 
Her adorable bright eyes left dark tainted by the shadow of lust as her throat stretched to accommodate me. Her eyes invite, no demand I cum down her throat as she challenges me to fuck her face harder, which I do. I thrust with more force as she gags more on my cock her eyes roll into the back of her head signifying her satisfaction. Her spit is flying her makeup is ruined but she is euphoric in her body as I watch her finger herself. Unable to hold off any longer my dick churns massive amounts of cum down her throat as I exploded into her tight wet throat. Chodan moans causing an almost secondary orgasm on top of my original one but I hold out. I needed to own her pussy as well. When I left her mouth she stared at me with a disheveled but blissed-out look, 
“Thank God I had that itch in my throat for months, and only your cock could scratch it” Chodan joked before stripping the rest of her clothes. Her tight body enticed me to further depravity but what sealed the deal was her sizable bust swaying in the cool air hypnotizing me to fuck her for real this time. I grabbed Chodan wordlessly causing her to yelp before I stuff her pussy with my cock 
“Hey? Ooh fuck.” her voice went from a high-pitched yelp to a pleased moan. My cock invaded her insides as she said, “Oh is my slut gonna cum again?” she always knew the words to set me off as I began slowly I pulled out just enough for the tip to remain in her before slamming my whole length back in. Chodan moaned no longer having the mental capacity to do anything other than take my cock which she always did so well. I groped her mesmeric orbs she called breasts and forced her body to be flush with mine instead of having her bent over the bed. My primal instincts took over as I thrust into like an animal trying to impregnate her. The harder the better. 
Chodan throughout all could only moan before she came on my cock. Her moans rang through my ears like melodic percussion as she lost herself to the pleasure but I as her drenched and sloshed pussy squelched and squeezed my high was not far off. I explode into my girl as she moans “Oh God yes, oh God yes,” we collapsed onto the bed with my cock still inside her. When we woke up she rode my cock again to her and my fulfillment. Then we took a quick chaste shower Cho and I went to the PC Bang she mentioned.
You and Momo were heading to PC Bang after a long and stressful day at work. As you walk in Chodan and I bump into y'all.
"Oh Gomen," I reply. You look at me with a curious look as I return the look.
We stare at each other for a bit of time before Momo says to Chodan, how pretty her hair is. you notice my deck bag and ask if I play mtg in English. I nod and you gesture for Chodan and me to join you. Momo and Chodan split off while we find a nice table to play at. 
"Do you play modern?" You ask.
I nod.
"Oh good, I hate 1v1 commander."
"I do as well," I reply, "that is why I built Domain Zoo," I added.
"Okay good you are playing an archetype and not Jank," you reply relieved pulling out indomitable creativity. We get set up and I face you. I pull out my dice. 
"Do you want to go first or should I?" I ask. You point to yourself and I give you the thumbs up. We shuffle up and you and pregame action I play Leyline of the guildpact. You give me a thumbs up and play your turn 1 Ragavan. It gets to my turn I play an arid mesa and tap it for an Esper sentinel. you look at me surprised and then on your next turn you cast a bolt (directed at me)  and then I draw a card. You swing Ragavan and pull a leyline of the guild pact off of my top. I shrug at this, but before we can get further into the game the building begins to shake. We look at each other and run outside. As expected a Kaiju is wreaking havoc on the city. I take out my transformer and you take out yours as we do our transformations “Hyperion” you yell
“Hyperion X” I yell
We transform and fight the kaiju. Through our combined efforts it honestly barely an issue. We deactivated our transformations before the HDF could even arrive. 
“So you’re also a Hyperion?” you ask. I nod and quantify 
“But I was born here,” your eyes narrow and you respond
“Hmm, that’s a first,” you say.
I shrug and reply
“Well my parents like this planet, as do you it seems,” I tease as I watch our girlfriends walk up to us in their full HDF combat attire. 
“Oh good Dota you’re safe,” Chodan says relieved. You and Momo look at me confused. 
“Dota?” You question.
“Oh right, I never introduced myself. My name is Dakota King but everyone calls me Dota usually.” I respond you nod and then Momo says,”
“Okay well then Dota and Chodan how about we get some lunch since our date was ruined,” Cho and I nod as we follow the older couple. We went to a nearby restaurant and had a pleasant experience where got to know each other. I learned that Momo and you were part of Japan's HDF force (You were a cleaner, and Momo was a fighter), and we also learned that Chodan's subgroup would be working with Momo's group for one of the upcoming showcases. After we ate our fill Chodan and I left.
"They seem nice," Momo says to you when the two of you get back to your shared apartment. 
You nod, and reply, "I wonder if they have any other plans? Maybe we can see them again."
Mom lights up, "Ooh I'd love that," she says happily. The two of you then quickly discard the other's clothing and begin making out. Momo moans into the kiss. 
"Someone is excited," you say to her. Momo nods, 
"I have you all to myself tonight, and I am going to enjoy it," Momo said. 
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sanctus-ingenium · 11 months
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Just wanted to ask, please forgive me if you've already answred this, what program do you use? Your art fucks HARD and like. I was looking at your art of the two moths over the city they die in and I was hit with the wave of "oh that looks really fucking fun actually." Like i know my art program can't do some of those effects and like, I'd love to try fucking about with them.
hi there, thank you! all my art is done in procreate and paint tool sai
because you mentioned that drawing in particular i thought it would be fun to break it down and show ppl what exactly went into each part of it so check this out
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sketch & lineart - the brushes come from georgbrush.club and the urban sketcher is my most commonly used lineart brush, it has a nice irregular shape. the square brush is nice for big blocky sketches.
the cityscape was REALLY hard but basically I got a photo of the skyline of florence, traced some basic building shapes, then bullshitted the rest using the vertical symmetry/mirror tool to cut down on the amount of work (so i only had to sketch one half of the city). then for lineart I turned off vertical symmetry, turned on the two-point perspective tool, and got this:
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the rose windows were made using the radial symmetry tool.
I didn't like it being so flat, so I used the liquify tool to make a kind of fish-eye effect (limited success tbh). I liked how it looked but the buildings in front needed something to cover them up to make the liquification less obvious...
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first pass colours. I felt they were very washed out, aside from the sun which i loved. I use the spectra brush (default procreate) for skyscapes a lot, I love the texture. Although the clouds were filled in using the lasso selection tool, I softened the edges using the square pencil again and added texture using true grit sampler grainy brushes. The translucency effect comes from my setting the brush as an eraser. The sun rays come from the radial symmetry tool.
Blocking in the moths' colours was done with the urban sketcher again.
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Something people may not have noticed is the labyrinth hidden in the sky! yeah I had a bunch of versions where it was more obvious but I found that it clashed a bit and was too busy, so I made it subtle. But yes. I searched for "royalty free labyrinth" and picked one.
The toner grit brush is one you've seen before if you've looked at any art on tumblr lately (this is such a popular brush) and it's from the true grit fast grit set. The pointillism brush is from the true grit free sampler pack, like my grain brushes.
I added shadows to the moths, increased saturation overall, and changed the clouds to a translucent blue (you can even see in the sun where I forgot to block in the sun itself because the clouds over it used to be opaque lol). Moon rays were drawn using the radial symmetry tool but this time with rotational symmetry off. I also moved the moon down closer to the moths because I felt that it was a bit far away, and this served to visually divide the drawing into three equal parts, so I chose to lean into that and divide the sky colours too, to show passing time, or an endless moment - morning, evening, night, etc.
And then the oroborous, I tried a few different effects on it because I wanted it to be very clearly separate from the main scene - I settled on a dot matrix newsprint texture, using procreate's onboard tool, and some heavy chromatic aberration. This is because the oroborous isn't real, it's purely symbolic and the moths' demise started when they became photographers so I liked the print media aspect there as well. The story itself is about grief without closure, cyclical violence, and sunk cost fallacy, while everyone explores an endless labyrinth, so an oroborous fits I think
what makes art fun to me is thinking up ways I can tell a story using just a single image. and sure a lot of it will be lost to an audience who isn't familiar with the characters or backstory but i want to leave enough in there that even complete strangers to my work will be able to construct a narrative about what's happening here, rather than it just being a cool image. that's my goal.
Finally I exported it to sai on my pc to give it a once-over. this is really important because the retina display on an ipad is oversaturated on purpose, to make everything look amazing and vibrant. but what this means is that on other screens, your work might look washed out. it's especially bad at displaying yellows! so i look at it in sai on my pc and i make minor adjustments, in this case I actually added another multiply layer on the moths and an overlay on their non-shadowed parts to increase the contrast there.
finally if you've read this far, I played a little trick with the caption of the drawing. yeah, THEY die... but only one of those moths is a theythem pronoun haver... the other has to survive. he isn't given a choice in the matter.
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kommandonuovidiavoli · 3 months
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Changed some numbers for this AU but yeah, ALL LITTLE SIBLINGS ARE NOW OLDER AND THEY'RE TND OPERATIVES!!!
Penny's there too because I say so. :3
Roles:
#363: Leader no one can stand, but at least he knows what he's doing... for the most part. Still, everyone wonders how he managed to get into the TND in first place since no one wants him around... welp. Older brother of Numbuh 362. The two can't stand each other and Rachel avoids him like the plague. He always screams at her.
#T: 2x4 technology expert, pilot and hacker. He knows any technology around. Sometimes you can catch him play some games when they have nothing to do. Never leaves without his C.E.L.L.P.H.O.N.E. (Compact Electronic Line Linking Pathway Holds Outer Network Expansion). Mostly silent, very chill, keeps to himself. Can't stand Mushi more than Harvey, if you can believe that.
Older brother of Hoagie Gilligan, aka Numbuh 2. The kid loves him and wants to hang out with him more but, as any teenager would, Tommy keeps him away from himself and his stuff and his room. But Hoagie knows he will know ALL his secrets, one day! Let's hope he doesn't find out he's also a TND spy in the Teen Ninja lines (he gets info from Father and passes it to KND, not a real bad guy!)...
#001: Second in command, everyone would prefer her to be the leader but... well. Very active teen, a bit of a tomboy, she's in charge to come up with plans and put them into action. Kids sometimes mistake her for a kid in a teen body.
Loves to skate, play videogames and dance. Works as a mermaid actor at the aquarium in the weekends. Dating Joey Beetles. Sometimes babysits Nigel Uno, who trusts her enough to ask his parents to adopt her so they can be siblings. She... actually loves the idea... but it's impossible.
#40: Weapon and combat expert, especially for sport related actions. Can't talk at all and speaks using his V.O.I.S. (Vocal Operator Imitating Sounds) to speak. Thanks to that, he can use any voice he manages to sample, kind of like an AI.
Very active, plays many sports and he's good at all of them, especially dodge ball. Dating Penelope Doe.
Older brother of Wallabee Beetles, aka Numbuh 4. The two used to be inseparable, but since Wally joined the KND, he kind of drifted away because "teens are the enemy". It broke Joey's heart but... what can you do.
#30: Spy extraordinaire and camouflage master. She can turn anyone into a different person in a make-up session. Someone might say she's too good at that... like she's hiding something.
She's the school queen, a cheerleader, everyone wants to be associated with her. She's also very intelligent and good at art. She's perfect! But somehow, Tommy doesn't like her. Nerds...
Older sister of Kuki Sanban, aka Numbuh 3. The two seem to be very close, playing together and sharing everything, from make-up to clothes (well, those that fit...).
Sometimes Kuki accidentally reveals her KND plans to her, eheh, so silly! Mushi always has a good laugh telling them to her team!
No, I'm not talking about the TND...
No one suspects anything. Not even Tommy, since she never revealed her face while working for Father.
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bimir · 3 months
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it's not something strange or unique to say that after the last haikyuu movie, most of us got into it again, but at the same time, I know for sure that I'm not the only one who benefits the most from this re...union.
I went to see the haikyuu movie alone, and at first, it didn't hit me that much. maybe it was because I couldn't help but wonder how much I would have enjoyed it with my best friend, but we are grown-ups now and long distance.
after a couple of days, the internet was full of haikyuu content again, just like during lockdown, and because of that, I also got into it again and realized how much of a masterpiece it is.
haikyuu is well known, but in my opinion, it is underestimated and categorized by others as just a silly volleyball-sport anime. it saddens me so much that there are so many people who will never get to embrace this piece of art.
Furudate not only created a coming-of-age story, a story that inspired and still inspires generations to fight for their dreams, to engage in the complex mess of relationships, teamwork, and partnerships. haikyuu teaches you that if you really do have a dream, and if you are really ambitious, if you work hard for it, your time will come too. but it also teaches you that not choosing to be great is not a tragedy; your dreams of what a good life means can be different from the ideals of others: "life is unfair, but damn it, at the same time, it is really fair too."
so why did I go on writing about this? because I can't comprehend how haikyuu manages to be there for me at the best time—or the worst, better said—how it really took its "comfort anime" title seriously for me. I started haikyuu in my last year of high school: extremely stressed, depressed, and anxious, so scared of what the upcoming end would mean for me that I'd tricked myself into living by coming to the conclusion that I'd simply not make it to 18 if I didn't see a future for myself. it seemed only fair and the universe would do its thing, no? I know, kinda depressing and triggering, but it did help that miserable me then, it did help but not in the way I prayed it would. the universe didn't send me "death," it sent me life and hope through haikyuu. feeling so empty, so bland for such a long time, haikyuu managed to make me laugh and cry. it doesn't sound like much, but real ones know what I'm talking about. seeing their connection, their ambition, the troubles and feelings I was so desperate to put into words right in front of me saved me from my misery. I began to wish to live, to wish to be like them, to wish to fight, to wish to connect again with people.
now, after almost 4 years, I'm in my last year of uni. the main reason for my depression back then in high school was because I didn't know what to do with my life, what uni and career to choose. hell, I didn't know I would take this path until last autumn, but here I am, on my way to becoming a teacher. it's hard, really hard, but right now, after the new movie, I finally committed to start and finish the manga even though I knew bits and pieces of what happens. it was the best time to read it now. over these 3-4 years, I pondered why I couldn't start getting into the manga and see for myself what happens, but damn it was the best time to read it now. seeing them go all out on their path, learning that in order to succeed you need to fight and fight and fight, to push through, to overcome your limits, to push yourself, to not take it easy if you really want it, came at the best time as I got into a slump and a burnout from learning too much but also not learning enough. I've got to see all of the characters continuing to be pros while fighting for their way, but also choosing to let go of something they once loved in order to live a normal life.
haikyuu is like a reminder that there is more to life than just your high school/childhood years, that your path could take a 180-degree turn at any point, but at the same time, it makes you appreciate those times and not want to sweep your childlike wonder, your growth, and mistakes under a rug. Furudate was a genius for creating haikyuu, and I really hope and pray that haikyuu will continue to be there, to comfort and save future generations until the end of time.
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weirdmarioenemies · 5 months
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Name: Melon Bug (again)
Debut: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island
(I wanted to write some more about Melon Bug, and I liked the original post just fine, so this post will be a continuation since that one was so short!)
An isopod! Oh, joyous day! It may not look like one at all with that big ol’ nose, but when it’s rolled up, there is no mistaking it! Here’s a very fun fact: when an isopod curls into a ball, it’s called conglobation! Use that in your everyday lives.
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Melon Bug technically isn’t an enemy, you know the drill, weird Mario friends, that usual thing. When curled up, Yoshi can lick them up and spit them out, defeating enemies they hit! Could this be the first instance of weaponized isopods?
The Player's Guide says "These feisty hoppers transform from bug to melon and back again." Feisty? They're only slightly more feisty than a real pill bug! And a real pill bug has a negative Feistiness Level. I don't think whoever wrote this has played the game, since Melon Bug is harmless! I also don't think they know about real pill bugs, because they clearly can't cogitate conglobation. A bug transforming into a melon? How unrealistic! What do they think this is, Trip World?
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I think "Melon Bug" is a very good name. An incredible name, even! When Melon Bug curls up, it, obviously, resembles a melon, what with both being round with stripes. While real pill bugs don't really have "stripes", their tergites (armor plates) do give a "lined" appearance. If you ask me, Melon Bug could be a good name even for real terrestrial isopods!
What do YOU call pill bugs? I've always called them roly-polies, but they have so many wacky names. Woodlouse? Yeah sure, a bug that lives under wood, why not! Butchy-boy? I don't get it, but it's funny. Then there are all the names comparing them to pigs which I just do not get, but groundhogs also get compared to pigs in common names a lot, so maybe people just don't know pigs as well as they like to think. And THEN! England gave them a bunch of CHEESE-related names. What is happening over there? Are British people somehow making cheese from isopod secretions? Why would you call this creature a CHEESELOG? That's a straight up food! I kind of love this name for them for being so ridiculous! Anyway, my point with all this is that Melon Bug would be more actually fitting than the majority of the common names these have been given, but sometimes it is more fun to be unfitting!
Isn't it weird how Melon Bug's art doesn't quite look like the sprite? Such bulging eyes in the art, but little dots in-game... well, we now know the reason!
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Remember Super Donkey, from the 2020 gigaleak? I feel like it's been far too forgotten for how interesting it is! Anyway, as I mentioned when talking about that game, Melon Bug was originally designed for it! It seems like the Yoshi's Island art was drawn before they decided to shrink its sclerae, and lighten its colors, but after they decided to give it little red shoes.
If you grew up calling roly-polies something else, or if you know fun names from other languages, I would love to hear them! And I hope you love and appreciate these creatures! They are so common and easy to observe, so rather than get jaded to their presence, celebrate them, and you will be able to find delight whenever you turn over a log!
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rojacatmisa · 5 months
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Chapter 3 ➺ Calmly panicking 
Starting over In Madrid
Misa Rodriguez x Reader (Nicky/first person)
After moving to Madrid as the new Real Madrid photographer, Nicky's eyes can't look away from the pretty face of Misa Rodriguez. But how is she going to handle her growing desire for the Canarian goalkeeper when her working contract's strictly forbidding her to date players?
Chapter 1 ➺ A harder job than I thought Chapter 2 ➺ Clearly on a bad slope
Holà, this is chapter 3. Not sure about the trigger warnings but I don't think it needs one. I think the way I want to tell my story works better by leaving some suspense. Let's say it's a slow burn and obviously and they will make out one day, so at a time there will be some explicit but not crude scenes. Reminder: I'm french. Don't hesitate to tell me if there there's very strange sentences or things you don't get. Sorry I hope to get better by writing.  
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"That one’s actually very good, Hayley !" The camera screen displayed the goalkeeper in the air, her jumping body suspended as she grabbed the ball in her gloves. Droplets of sweat nimbed her forehead and spread all around her. Her thick brows were frowned in the effort. In addition to her beauty, what made the photo stood out was the technically tricky to capture action of Misa s’moving body. 
Things were surprisingly going well at the Ciudad. Nothing had changed between Misa and I and as I was getting very fond of my job so I had commited for it to stay that way. We were having photo lessons almost every day after training sessions, occasionally joined by the northern girls Sofie, Freja and Caroline. But most of the time, it was the three of us that sat in a pitch corner, talking for hours until the staff would finally kicked us out of the stadium. 
"Thanks Nicky! I’m thinking about buying a camera, I love photography for real!." Boasted Hayley. 
"You should, teacher says you’re ready". Hayley had indeed proven herself an implicated student. She had applied my technical advices but she had also been willing to experiment on her own. As a result, she showed a taste for moving models and lights effects. Sometimes she would take neat actions with sharp details, sometime she’d rather set the presets to create blurry scenes where the bodies outlines melted in the background. 
As to Misa… well Misa’s photos were Misa’s. She was having a hard time to concentrate and her taste level was really questionnable. She would put too much grain or contrast. Every shots were oddly framed. When I tried to guide her toward subtler artistic choices, she had said "Pero me gusta el efecto !" or "Vale Nicky, but I am the artist" with her now well known over the top manners. Misa was much: pretty, athletic, funny, goofy… and stubborn. She was doing everything at a hundred per cent, perhaps except listening.
So, I was rather irritated when she sat on the grass, ostentatiously sulking because I had not complimented her own work. Hayley, of course, wasn’t helping. "Maria Isabel hasn’t done her homework but wants to be praised!". 
"I did but teacher doesn’t like me !" She moaned. 
"Maria Isabel should be in detention." I said calmly. 
"Por qué !? No !" She shot me an offended look and grumpily crossed her arms on her chest. 
"Porque no escuchas nada and teacher is fed up." I was clearly enjoying myself at teasing Misa with the most calm. 
"You don’t like my style, that’s all." She laid on her back, arms still crossed. Hayley walked over her, bent and angled the camera into her face and started taking pictures of the moody girl. "It’s because you don’t have one sweetie" She said. Misa opened her mouth wide, outraged. She rolled over on her belly, hiding her face from Hayley unceasing photoshoot. "Come on Misa! I’m sure you can do better, you’re not even trying!" 
"I may have one last idea to help Misa get it…"Both head turned to me." There is a photo exhibit at Matadero Art Center just now. Maybe we should give it a try. And Misa will find what she likes." 
"That would be great !" Said Hayley. She had stopped taking pictures and was now sat besides the goalkeeper. Misa moved to the side. "I already know what I like" she said frowning. We stared at her, eyebrows raised. "All right, we’ll go to your museo…". She sat up still pouting. "But before…" She stood up and reached out to me with an incredible speed. She easily heaved me in her arms and had me laying on my back before I got to know what was happening. "Misaaaa what the fuck ?!"
Misa, on all four over me, smirked and pined me to the ground with her strong hands. "Let’s switch roles ! Hayley come over and take some silly photos of Nicky for a change !" I was laughing hard and… getting aroused by Misa topping me. Her firms grasp and her weight were burying my hands into the grass. A naughty smile appeared on her beautiful face. "Let me go !" I shouted. I was breathing hard from struggle against her and from growing frankly excited. Hayley clicked madly on the camera trigger. She couldn’t see Misa’s penetrating gaze. Was it me or was she breathing harder too while keeping me lying down didn’t seem to cost her in the slightest? I closed my eyelid, too aware of the lens focused on me to look Misa in the eyes. Too turned on by everything that was going on… appart from the oppressing clicking noise and Hayley’s presence. 
"I think we’re good and that it will be ugly, I promise" I heard Hayley. I felt the pression of Misa’s hands disappeared. I opened my eyes to find she had straighten up. Her legs on each side of my waist, she was peering down at me intensely. "I think you deserved that" she said, satisfied. 
"I don’t think I deserved that much" I responded, catching my breath. 
"You two, go get a room it’s becoming embarrassing ! Cuidad is closing, we have to leave". I had almost forgotten Hayley. Her voice was taking me back to reality. We both smiled nervously. 
Misa got up, held out her hands to help me standing. As I took them she pulled me a bit too strongly, I lost balance and landed against her. My mouth touched the base of her neck only a second. She smelled a mix of sweat and perfume. She steadied me in her arms an instant. "I just saved the teacher, does it mean I’m no longer in detention ?" She released me. She hadn’t lost her smirk. 
I composed myself again and took my authoritarian tone at once. "You are grounded for a month, both of you ! And in detention at the museum without question!"  
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***
I called Angela on the evening. I felt the urged to talk. Not especially about me. I just wanted to feel the connection with my best mate again but surely the conversation topic went on my new footballer friends. 
"… and you’ve given them photo lessons almost every day ? Wow, Nicky I didn’t know you had that kind of patience !" 
"How you would you know Angela, Madrid is changing me. I am a much more sensible and patiente personne." 
"Still hard to believe… Anyway, I’m glad you hang with them. I like this Hayley, fuck the clause I would have seen you getting together. She has a sensitive fiber like you and seems fun !"
"humm, no Hayley’s a friend." I was laying down in my bed, calling Angela for at least an hour and a half now. I pictured Hayley in my mind. In derry, she was the total package and the two of us were really getting along well. But as pretty as she was, I wasn’t attracted by her. I was, despite all my efforts, always caught up with my attraction to Misa. Her poor photographer skills and moody behavior were so endearing to me and I felt more and more charmed by the goalkeeper’s whole personality. 
"Nicky are you there ?" I didn’t realized I had stopped listening. 
"Sorry ? What ?" 
"I was saying I admire you, just being friend with such hotties ! I couldn’t !
"Yeah, incredible right ?! I closed my eyes, I was sure Angela had heard the nervousness of my tone.  
"Oh no Nicky! Which one ?!" I smiled. It felt good she knew me so well.
"You won’t believe me…" 
"Spit it out !"
"It’s Misa…" I was gazing at the celling, my absent smile widened as I spoke her name. 
"Misa?? But she seems… I mean you don’t seem to have a lot in common."
"I know, anyway I shouldn’t even think about it…"
"But you do… ?" 
I heavily sighed. Misa’s smirking face appeared in front of my eyes. "Yes… but I also think about the clause, the fact that I’m bound to it, that my working visa depends on this job that I love, and so is my lease…"
"Ok ok Nicky it’s alright, calm down. You’re finding a girl cute, what a big deal? You’re at least allowed that ! You are not doing anything wrong, you’re not doing anything at all, relax !" 
"You’re right" As usual, Angela had found the words to reassure me. "But still, fucking clause !" I sweared. 
"Fucking clause…" echoed Angela. 
***
I received a message from Hayley on the morning before the exhibition visit. 
My family are paying me a surprise visit just now. They came from Sidney I had no idea !!! This is crazy sorry for the museum I really wanted to go but I’ll spend the day with them. Im so happy 
I answered it was ok and to enjoy her family time. Then I texted Misa. 
"Hayley’s family’s just showed up and she can’t come. Do you still wanna go ?"
Misa’s text bubble appeared and disappeared a few times leaving me wondering what answer I was wishing for. 
"Do I have the choice ? I thought it was my punishment…" 
I grined, loving her playful side. Or was she … flirting ? 
"You’re right but teacher would rather you go to your detention willingly." 
"huh teacher wants a lot. What else teacher wants from me ?" 
I gasped. She was flirting ! My mind ran wild, imagining the numerous things I craved from Misa. I breathed out deeply, tried to focus again as I pictured myself fiery kissing her. I had to take control of my brain again. I had to bury the surging wave of desire I felt at the simple idea of Misa wishing to give me what I wanted. 
"Teacher wants you to have a good time" was the most diplomatic and sober answer I could come up with. I quickly added "See you then" to put a stop to that dangerous conversation. 
"I’d say let’s see what’s going to happen. See you Nicky"
Wow, she was going for real ! How the hell was I going to survive the afternoon ?! 
***
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I was gulping down hard when I joined Misa at the entrance of Matadero Arts Center of Madrid. I felt so tensed when we hugged but Misa appeared to be her usual self. Once again, she gave no sign that something was going on between us and once again I wondered if I hadn’t misjudged her intentions. 
We headed inside. The center was formed by many huge bricked houses which happened to be old slaughterhouses. None of the previous gloomy functions of the place has remained, it was now very pleasant to walk in the large aisles between the red buildings. In the middle of the afternoon, the sun was knocking hard on our heads. Misa was looking all around us, her hand above her dazzled eyes. "It’s a shame I’ve never been there before, living all these years in Madrid" 
We reached the exhibition hall a few minutes later. I bought the tickets. Misa was following me closely. She clearly wasn’t in her element as we moved forward inside the vast hall. The exhibition was called "Deportes: fotografía en movimiento" and shown various approaches of taking picture of athletes. I was surprised to see Misa very focused. She looked at each photo, paused a long time when she seemed interested or intrigued by something. 
"Misa, look at this one" The framed picture was showing gymnasts doing incredible acrobatic tricks. "Look at the geometric composition, that's what I was trying to explain about framing." Misa shook her head with enthusiasm. "I think I get it now, yes. But I have found what I want to do." 
She took my hand and led me to a more hidden corner where another series of photos were displayed on the walls. "Wait, what ?" I let out. There were cats and dogs on every pictures, and even a baby pig. "They are the athlete’s pets" She said happily. She hasn’t let go of my hand. "I think I want to photograph animals, or nature." She came to face me with the cutest smile, and thought I had severe doubts this was going to help Misa progress technically, I replied "Yes! Ok! Let’s give a try on naturalistic photography!". 
She smiled more widely, her hand still in mine, and her fingers softly stroked my palm while she loosened her grip. I started to panic. Her lips wore a more discreet smile as she watched me unsurely. She took a step forward. I had to react quickly but I didn’t want her to feel rejected. 
"Come on, I’m taking you to the park along the river. There is plenty of birds and plants for you to shoot." I grasped her hand back to take us out of the hall and out of the prickly situation. 
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However, as we arrived at the park, I realized I had put myself in an even more perilous condition. The sun was setting. A light breeze was blowing in the trees. Birds were melodiously twitting nearby. An empty bench shield from the view was waiting for us at the end of a very lovely flowery path. I tried hard not to look at Misa. She was walking close to me, unusually quiet. I dared to take a look at her. She caught my side-eye and a shy smile appeared on her lips. What did I do? She was probably getting all wrong, imagining I had picked such a romantic place on purpose! 
We reached the oh so welcoming bench. None of us spoke as we sat. I starred at the distance. I was feeling my heart pounding hard in my chest. Misa was looking at her laps, timid all of a sudden. I had to say something. 
"You should try to shoot those flowers for a start" I tried as a diversion. "The red and bleu ones that look like the Barça kit. See, I’ve learnt about football." I added wanting to diminish the growing tension. "Oh no Barça please…" She rubbed a hand across her face. I had clearly said the wrong thing. 
"Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you" I put my hand on her shoulder. Her long hair was partially hiding her face. "Do… do you want to talk about it ?" I said hesitantly. She tensed. 
"You don’t know about the Clasico. We keep loosing against them every times and honestly, I’m used to it. It’s ok even though I’m doing my best but…" her voice trailed down as she took a deep breath. "Next Clasico is one week away and that’s the finale of the Copa de la Reina." She lifted her head to look me in the eyes. "I don’t know if I can take the pressure this time..." She was talking so openly to me. The fierce and funny goalkeeper was allowing her unsecured part to finally surface. And that was when I realized I cared for her. 
I took Misa into a hug. She sighed and buried her face in my neck. "You can do it Misa. I don’t know you for very long but I am certain that you can." She stayed there, her heavy breathing gently blowing my hair. "I really want to win!" She almost cried. "We keep doing better but we haven’t won any Spanish championship! Quiero ganar ostia!" She lifted her head again and I stopped hugging her. I was glad to see a frustrated grin back on her face. "You can do it! Hala Madrid! I feel part of the family now." I genuinely said to boost her up. She let out a soft laugh and ran her fingers through her hair. She took my hand again. "Gracias" she muttered. Her brown eyes found mine again. Her expression was so soft at this very moment. Her gaze went down to my mouth. I wanted to kiss her so bad. Her slightly parted lips quivered. My chest was about to explode as I slowly moved my face closer to hers.
At that precise moment, a loud buzzing sound came from Misa's pocket and had us both jump in fear. Misa straightened herself and took her phone out. I sled appart on the bench, breathing out a mix of relief and deep frustration. 
"Holà Jenni" Misa answered in a slightly irritated voice. "no, no conozco las noticias…" She rolled her eyes at me. I was too shaken to be amused by the situation. Misa and Jenni kept on talking on the phone. In fact, it was more like Misa was listening to an unstoppable Jenni. I wasn’t getting much of the quick flowing Spanish of Misa. Besides, I was once again buried deep in my thoughts. My heart and reason were battling heavily against each other. Misa was getting seriously annoyed the call wouldn’t finish. She was founding hard to even speak a world between the endless sentences of her best friend. She turned for me to read the word "Perdón!" on her lips several times as I scrolled mechanically on my phone. 
Minutes went by and night started to fall when Misa finally hung up. "I’m so sorry I should never have taken that call !" She sighted. I got up quickly "No prob. But it’s getting late, we should get going". Reason had won over heart for now. Or at least, chance had buy me time to really sort things out. Misa looked up at me, surprised. She hadn’t expected that. This time I didn’t dared to even take a glimpse at her. As I gave her no reaction, she let her head fall down in her hands. I heard her taking a deep breath before she finally stood up and started following me. 
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Lulled by the light swing of the train, a part of me had cooled down. An other part was going crazy for real. Misa was wanting me. A calm, almost pleasant panic was filling me entirely on the way home. 
Chapter 4 ➺ Hell Clasico
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spicywhenspeaking · 3 months
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If I'm There Chapter: Twenty-Five
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read from part one here!
summary: Noah and Natalie met in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.
this is a complete work of fiction, some characters while based on real people are totally made up. :)
Taglist: @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @thisbicc @laurpartyprogram @to-be-written @concretenoah @thebadchic @madomens @samanthasgone @myownthoughts12 @missduffsblog @jilliemiw86 @malerieee @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @badomenslrh @robabankfuckmickeymouse @darknightstarryeyes @xxkittenkissesxx @mitchhbitch @sorrowsofsilence @blackveilomens
note: I'm sorry I've been gone for so long! I took a much needed writing break but am excited to get back into a schedule. I can't guarantee when I'll upload but I'm sure it won't be another 3 months between updates...lol sorry again.
“Oh shit!” Noah squeals as his roller-blades skitter back and forth trying to catch his balance as Erin circles the two of us as we stake alongside her. I’ve taken her skating several times and have figured out how to remain upright, although I’m no expert I can keep up with the other roller moms. Noah on the other hand is like an unsteady infant taking his first steps. Before he falls on his ass again he reaches out and grabs onto me in an attempt to remain standing. 
“Ah! No, don't! Noah!” I cry out as I lose my balance and my stakes fly out from under me and we both fall onto a heap on the floor. I end up on my back with Noah looming over me having caught himself with his hands before crushing me completely. He’s close enough that the short hair that falls in front of his face tickles my forehead. 
“Oh, sorry” he says and his breath caresses my cheek. My voice is caught in my throat. I know there is a blush creeping up my neck but I ignore it as we shuffle to get back onto our feet. Sliding and clinging onto the side of the rink to remain upright. 
Laughing loudly he looks at me with a smile that takes up half of his face, “guess I’m in need of practice.” I return a small laugh and nod in agreement. 
Erin continues to circle us with a quizzical look on her face, “y’all are funny. Let's go! A few more turns and then can we go get ice cream?!” Giggling she rushes off as we slowly follow with Noah refusing to let go of my hand.
“Sorry, I really don’t want to bust my ass again.” Squeezing his hand in encouragement we continue forward after our daughter. “No worries Noah, I’ll catch you if you fall again.” 
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Noah’s POV
I almost stumble again at her words. She's using the same words I wrote for her all those years ago back at me. Does she even realize what she said? Probably not. Maybe? I shake it off for now as she pulls me forward. 
We go around the skating rink hand in hand and I selfishly hold as tight as I can, only letting go once we’ve exited the rink and sat down to take off our stakes. 
“So what's good for ice cream around here?” I ask while we turn in our stakes before we head out the door into the hot summer air. “I like Amy's! They have lots of yummy flavors!” Erin cheers. She’s walking between us, holding both of our hands. I was shocked at first when she grabbed my hand but it filled my heart with so much joy—more than I ever thought possible. 
“What do you like to get at Amy’s Erin?” I asked while seated in the passenger seat of the car. “Hmmm I like getting sweet cream with Oreos and rainbow sprinkles! It’s sooo good!”
Her excitement is contagious as Natalie’s smile is also spread wide across her face as she listens to Erin. “What about you Nat? What’s your favorite?” I turn my gaze to her and the summer heat has given her a glowy sheen of sweat on her cheeks causing her blush to shine.
She looks so beautiful. I want to kiss her. I wish I could.
“I like to get the Mexican vanilla with strawberries and chocolate chips, I think you’ll like their stuff. Lots of choices.” 
I turn up the radio and Erin squeals with joy! “This was in the movie Aunt Hales and I watched!” 
“Reaching for something in the distance..” 
Natalie sings along with her, “so close you can almost taste it release your inhibitions.”
The song is too good not to sing along, so as we drive to get ice cream, I find myself singing along as well.
“Feel the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you! Only you can let it in..”
Did I think six months ago I would be singing Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield in the car with my daughter and the girl I've always loved? Not at all, but this is something I wouldn’t trade for anything.  I won’t let her get away this time, I’m just going to have to play the long game and hopefully, she will trust me with her heart again. 
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Hours later, after some amazing ice cream Natalie and Erin are dropping me off at my Airbnb. I chose something that wasn’t too far from their house and there’s a pool. Erin was excited about that. She was running from room to room looking at all of the spaces.
“I got this place because it has lots of room, so if Erin ever wanted to spend the night she would have her own space,” I say to Natalie. She smiles softly, “she’d love that Noah. Maybe when she gets back from art camp?” she responds.
“And of course you two can come over and use the pool whenever, even next week Erins at camp? You could come over and hang out? The other guys will be here Thursday” I ask nervously. God, why am I so nervous, I’ve known Nat for years. It’s not weird to ask her to hang out…right?
“I would love that, I’m free on Wednesday?” She says looking out at the yard as Erin runs in the grass next to the water. 
So she knows the guys won’t be here until Thursday but wants to come over on Wednesday.. that’s good? right? Stop reading into it man, just live.
“Wednesday is amazing, I’ll grab snacks.” god I sound pathetic. 
She giggles while we watch Erin take off doing cartwheels now, “she is an endless stream of energy.” she comments quietly. “She really is, I’d like some of that. I’m exhausted.” 
Natalie’s energy shifts slightly, “oh you’re right. You’ve been on the move all day. We should get out of your hair so you can relax.” 
“Oh- no that’s-” I try to catch her but she’s already at the backdoor quietly calling for Erin to head home.  Why did I say that?…idiot. 
“Noah! This house is awesome!! I can’t wait to come over this summer! After my camp next week I’m totally coming over to swim!” she says as she runs up to give her a goodbye hug. 
I return the hug, wrapping her tight in my arms. “Can’t wait for it kiddo, I’ll grab some floats this weekend. It’ll be a fun summer for sure.” I say looking up to see Natalie snapping what I’m sure she was hoping was an incognito photo. “Send that to me please?”
She nods and they move to exit, “Nat, wait.” I reach and softly grab her arm, pulling her quickly into a hug. “I’ll see you later, I had fun today.” 
“I had fun too Noah.” her hands squeeze my sides briefly before she releases and they head to their car. They pull out of the driveway and a thought hits me.
I rush to my guitar and sit down to get the idea out while it’s fresh in my head. 
I can wait for you at the bottom I can stay away if you want me to I can wait for years if I gotta Heaven knows I ain’t getting over you Can we try again? When we’re not so different Can we make amends? Why can’t we just pretend?
I jot down the slightly altered lyrics on a random scrap of paper I see in my guitar case and shut it. 
I finish unpacking and jump into the shower to rinse off. I hop out at the exact time I see my phone ringing, Erin is calling. 
“Hey, kiddo! What’s up?”
“Hey, Noah! I was wondering if you would come with us on Sunday to drop me off at camp. It’s a couple of hours away though so if you have plans I understand.” 
“I don’t have anything going on, I’d love to tag along.” 
“MOM! HE SAID YES! - sweetheart I thought we agreed we’d call tomorrow? Noah’s had a long day - I was too excited…I’m sorry Noah.” 
“Hey, it’s no worries kiddo! You can call me whenever you need too.”
“Mom?! Did you hear that? Noah said it’s okay!”
I hear Natty’s laugh on the other end of the phone and it kills me that we’re not just all together laughing. Lately that’s all I can think about. All I want. 
“Well I am supposed to look at what clothes I’m packing for camp right now but I’ll see you on Sunday!” 
“I’ll see you Sunday kiddo.” 
Natalie POV
“So is it like a date?” Haylie asks. Were sitting on her bed later that night after having packed Erin’s camp bag and her going to bed. 
“It’s not a date! It’s swimming. We’re just two old friends hanging out.” the moment the words are out of my mouth I know it’s bullshit. I don’t know if it will ever feel like just two old friends with Noah. 
“I’d argue with you but I know you don’t even believe what you just said so it’s pretty pointless.” I throw my head back onto the pillows and sigh in defeat.
“I wish I believed it. I wish I could just be normal around him. It’s like I’m a teenager all over again…do I remember everything bad that happened? Of course..but I also remember all of the good things..ugh! Why are feelings so complicated?! Like am I a horrible person with no backbone if I forgive him for everything and just let him back into my life like no time has passed? Or am I a bitch if I keep him at arm’s length for the rest of our lives despite my feelings for him because of mistakes we made as kids?” 
I feel the bed dip down as Haylie sits down next to me. “Unfortunately I don’t have the answer for you, but I know you are not a horrible person or a bitch. Life is complicated and confusing and all you can do is consider what is best for you and Erin. I’ll support you no matter what you choose to do…but what I will say is that since you two started talking again…you’ve been different. Happier than I’ve seen you in a long time.” 
She’s right. I’ve felt happier than I have in years since I reconnected with Noah. That has to mean something. 
Maybe it’s time to just let myself be open to what could happen.
Could we even have anything like that again? 
Under the same Texas moon, two lonely hearts thought in tandem if the other may be open to loving them again.
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morporkian-cryptid · 4 months
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I'm rereading Feet of Clay, and something I love about Pratchett's writing is that you keep discovering new things with every reread. This man is a fucking genius; and I say is because we all know a man is not dead while his name is still spoken, and I am very much speaking his name, very loudly and with an undertone of exasperated delight.
(MASSIVE spoilers for Feet of Clay, obviously; do not click if you haven't read that book)
Okay, so the poison was in the candles, right? We all know that, and when you reread the book with that knowledge, you notice all the clues that Vimes will later put together. "Une mèche en métal gris" (a wick of grey metal) in the candlemaker's coat of arms. "Art brought forth the candle". Vetinari doing a whole infodump about arsenic and to "put it where no one will look" (the bastard already knew). The emphasis on the candle being the last sentence in the scene where Vetinari's writing, right before his condition gets worse.
A good writer knows how to sprinkle foreshadowing in ways that are just obvious enough to pick up after the fact.
But you know what a great writer does?
Spread false leads.
I honestly don't remember what I deduced the first time I read the book; I was in high-school and tearing through it without stopping to really think about the clues, and also I had little to no knowledge of the cultural stories around arsenic. But on reread, I keep noticing remarks about the wallpapers.
And if you know anything about the Victorian era, the combination of arsenic and wallpapers will immediately make you go "Pass me a towel!!".
THAT BASTARD (affectionate) PTERRY WANTED US TO THINK IT WAS THE WALLPAPER!
And it's not just once, no. There's Vimes' remark about "That seemed to be about it, short of stripping the wallpaper off the wall", which make me chuckle and mutter "oh come on!". But then later on there's "You might as well accuse the wallpaper of driving him mad"... with the added detail that THE WALLPAPER IS GREEN. IT'S FUCKING GREEN. Pterry KNEW what he was doing.
It takes a third mention of the wallpaper (the fact that it's the same in all rooms and Vetinari's condition hasn't been getting better) before Vimes actually consider it; but we the reader would have been yelling "It's the wallpaper!! It's the wallpaper!!" since the first mention of green.
And this is exactly what you expect from a good writer, right? Give you enough clues to figure out the mystery yourself and feel smart.
And if you didn't notice the wallpaper, or dismissed it in the same way Vimes eventually does (it's been there for years and Vetinari has only just started getting sick), then there's the ink on the journal.
(Spoiler for "The name of the rose" by Umberto Eco)
If you've read the book or watched the movie "The name of the rose", the second Vetinari is described licking his fingers to turn the pages of his journal, you should have been screaming "THERE'S ARSENIC IN THE INK!!!" (or at least giving very heavy suspicious side-eyes at the journal and at Pterry).
This is Terry Pratchett's genius, to me, in this book. Sprinkling false leads that seem like solutions to the reader because of our culture, of our knowledge of history or other works of literature, to make us feel smart for having figured out the mystery from the contextual clues before the characters do, and enjoy the fun frustration of watching them bumble around and miss details that we picked up on because we have context that they lack...
And then turn around and pat us on the head and say "Well done, but I played you, you picked up exactly the clues I wanted you to, and ignored the real ones", and you can't be mad at him because the real clues were there! In plain sight!!! The goddamn coat of arms were presented literally within the first twenty pages! We get to feel smart for about half the book, before we realize we've been played, just like Vlmes.
I fucking love Terry Pratchett so much.
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luvingshidou · 5 months
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SHIDOU WITH AN ARTIST S/O.
YES. JUST YES.
(soz if its a bit short 🤞🤞)
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PAINT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS.
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shidou ryusei x artist! fem reader
silly lil drabble
thanks anon🫶🫶🫶
PROBS OOC
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You still remember when Shidou first found out you did art, you remember him asking you to show some work you did, when you showed a small self-portrait that you painted, it looked so pretty, well you looked so pretty but it hold a candle to how gorgeous you looked in real life.
You also remember when you painted a photo of him and you as your 1 year anniversary present of being together, he was in awe. How could one paint so well??? Ryusei immediately hung your painting in his living room so he could see the cute drawing that you made for both of you.
Ryusei always told that minute he knew you did art that you were a keeper and he was right because now you were married, now you could draw and paint pictures of the both of you all the time. Ryusei loves every single picture you make that he hangs it up in your house all the time, It all that's on the wall!!!
And now here you were in your studio painting a photo of you and Ryusei on your wedding day for your upcoming wedding anniversary. Ryusei was coming home from practice like usual. Ever since he became a pro player, he has had to spend more time practising, which he hated since he has to spend more time away from you. Ryusei walked up to your art studio, which he knew you were in since you've been working on the painting for days.
"Prettyyyy." He says, walking over to you and wrapping his arms around your waist. "How's the painting coming on???"
"Good, Ryu!!! I'm done painting me, I just need to finish painting you." You say, turning around to give him a quick peck on the lips.
"Mmmm, looks gorgeous, baby." He says, smirking at you. "I just don't think it'll do you justice in showing how drop-dead gorgeous you look." God, he could so cheesy sometimes.
"Oh, shut up, Ryu." You say, rolling your eyes playfully.
"Nahhh." He says, ruffling your hair as he smirk grew wider.
The day of your wedding anniversary, when you gave Ryu the finished painting of your wedding photo, well, he nearly started crying. He just can't believe that he has a wife who's as pretty as you who also makes works of art. He immediately got up and hung the painting beside the first ever picture you painted of him and you back when you were only dating. God, he was so right. You were a keeper.
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ponett · 1 year
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with the fallout of bandai namco's idiotic "it's up to interpretation" bs, do you think that it's possible to enjoy queer media made in a corporate environment in addition to independent works? is it even worthwhile to attempt making queer media in a corporate environment? i find it special how well the g-witch production team managed to tell the story they wanted even with the challenges and pressures they faced, but i have to admit that independent works like slarpg are always going to more completely tell queer stories. as someone who has resonated with both slarpg and g-witch, i was curious to know your perspective.
i'm probably less cynical about this than a lot of my peers are - not that i can blame anyone for feeling cynical about queer rep from corporate-owned media. (we've been through so many First Ever Gay Disney Characters at this point, and lord knows blizzard loves to tease that another overwatch character might be gay every year or so as a PR move.) unfortunately it's just extremely hard to get something like a full season of an animated series funded and produced independently, so the artists looking to enter these fields and pour their hearts and souls into meaningful queer stories as a full-time job don't have many options
going indie gives you theoretically endless creative freedom to tell your stories without corporate censorship, but it's also a massive gamble. only an extreme minority of indie creatives in any medium are actually able to make a living. the fact that i came out the other side of slarpg's development with enough money that i can keep being a full-time indie instead of being in massive debt makes me one of the lucky ones. and even with my modest success, i sure as hell don't have the money to hire a whole team, which limits the scope of what i can make. so i can't turn my nose up at the queer people writing disney channel cartoons where they can't say the word "gay" out loud. they have health insurance, i don't. for most people, what i do is simply not an option
with the corporate-produced Queer Stories i enjoy, i'm often able to squint and see what the creatives were trying to do, wishing that they could have done more while understanding that they probably had to fight tooth and nail for what's there
in the realm of children's animation in particular, i'm thankful that the people working at these studios ARE fighting for more, because it means that kids today have so many more positive queer stories to relate with. i didn't have a single gay character i felt i could relate to until i read scott pilgrim at age 16 and saw wallace wells. before that, i felt so alone in the world. i denied who i was for years because it felt like there would be no place for me. i didn't know anyone openly gay in real life, growing up in the south, and in fiction gay people either existed as the butt of a joke or not at all. the fact that queer kids are now able to see people like themselves in so many shows means something, even if we still have a long way to go and the big studios continue to be a major obstacle
on the subject of g-witch, i'm honestly unfazed by the statement from bandai-namco. i guess i wish they could've let suletta and miorine kiss, but like... the text of the show is extremely blunt about them being a couple by the end. it's not up for debate. and it's not like a gundam series having a meaningful story in spite of the wishes of the toy-producing overlords is anything new, this is just our latest example
all that being said, i do think people should branch out more and explore more weird indie shit if they want more wholeheartedly, openly queer stories. people gotta suck it up and embrace more outsider art instead of only valuing things with studio-level production values. start looking at ren'py visual novels, rpg maker games, obscure webcomics, zines drawn in sharpie, artists on bandcamp who aren't signed to a label, all that jazz. maybe part of the reason why i'm not more fazed by the state of affairs with corporate-funded fiction is that i'm constantly surrounded by furry artists who are telling their own little gay stories
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eisforeidolon · 1 month
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Question: Could you tell us some of the differences that you've discovered between acting and producing, directing and how they've affected your performances with both?
Jared: Oh, great question, great question.
Jeff: It's a real question! I can't even make - I'm trying to think if I can go dirty with that somehow. You got me thinking about their parents and -
Jared: Just grab her fan [referring to a previous fan's prop].
Jared: Yeah, it's a great question. I think, first and foremost, being involved in the production and how the sausage is made, so to speak?
Jeff: [shakes his head emphatically] And he doesn't think he could write a memoir.
Jensen: [also shaking his head] Any, any other analogy.
Jared: Seeing all the ingredients that go into a recipe, I have so much more -
Jeff: We're all thinking about sausages now. Way to go.
Jared: I have so much more respect for everything that happens before they call action. You know often times, and this is kind of whether it's actually getting into producing or directing or helping develop? But we were just talking about, Jensen and I were just talking about, our first jobs. Like, twenty five years ago. And my [finger quotes] job as I saw it then, the only thing I could tackle was like know your lines, hit your marks. You know? I didn't even think about, oh, what are these people doing? Oh, what went into this thought? And so understanding now, like why storylines go the way they go sometimes, and why people wear this or do that. And sometimes as simple, frankly, as an actor's availability or lack of availability - like with Jeff? We couldn't sign him on, we being Supernatural at large, couldn't sign him on - he would have loved to have stayed, I imagine? But they were like, hey, we don't have the budget to add another regular and so that's why the character went that way. Or like with me with Dean on Gilmore Girls, Dean had to take a turn and kind of get strange because they didn't have me. So they're not gonna write, like, hey John Winchester is now at the forefront of every episode, 'cause he might be on Grey's Anatomy next week.
[Audience cheers, Jeff bows]
Jared: And so learning about, kinda what restrictions there are to the art of the story you want to tell has been kind of what sticks out in my mind.
Jensen: Producer's just a title they gave me. I did nothing to earn it. It's just in my contract. No, I would say that the producing side of things is - you know there's a lot of different facets, I think a lot of different types of producers that handle different tasks. And that's really what a producer is, they're task rabbits. They are putting out fires, but if there's no fires to put out, then there's really not a whole lot to do as a producer. From a production standpoint. If you're talking about producing from like the conceptualizing standpoint when you're in the writing room and you're coming up with the -
[Kid yells yayyyyy]
Jensen: Okay. Yeah.
Jared: Yeah!
Jensen: [pointing] You understand!
Jeff: That's a future producer right there.
Jensen: Yeah, that's a creative producer. And so there's line producers that are in charge of, you know, keepin' the books and doing budgetary things and turning in budgets to the studio. And so there's a lot of different types of roles that fall under the producer umbrella. But with me it was more about just, that title to me just meant be a leader on set. Which I already kind of feel -
Jeff: You did that anyway.
Jensen: responsible for anyway as one of, as a lead actor - is setting a tone and leading by example and leading a cast and crew and with the help of others [gestures towards Jared]. And so producing was less of a, I think, bringing on more responsibility. I think Jared probably took on more because he liked that element of it? I would say for me what impacted acting more outside of acting was directing. Learning how - learning all the nuts and bolts to frame composition and why I'm using this lens instead of this lens. You know, focal length and drawing the audiences to certain - why you put a subject, whether you put them left frame or right frame instead of center frame. So all of that stuff started to really help me when I was in front of the camera, understanding why they were doing that. Having that knowledge and then just being more comfortable with my performance knowing exactly how it was - it was almost like I knew what the reflection looked like without the mirror being there. And that can be troubling for some people who don't wanna know, they just wanna just be able to perform? But especially I know Jared and I - and I think Jeff as well - were really technical with our acting. We understand marks and lighting and if you're not on your mark, you're not gonna be in focus and so - and then also framing and I can ask a camera operator who is twenty feet away what lens they're on and know exactly where that frame is hitting me [gestures framing his head and upper torso]. And so that just helps me in my performance because if I know they're on a one thirty five and they're right here [gestures to just his face] then I'm not gonna [flails a bit wildly] then I'm not gonna do that. But if they're on a forty -
Jared: Then you'll do that?
Jensen: Then I'll do [throws up hands]. Then I might make the motions bigger. You're able to play, the space is larger. And so just that kind of knowledge helped me as an actor, I think. And then I learned more of that from directing I think than I did, you know, anything on the producing side.
Jeff: I find producing to be more about lack of money now, than anything else. Every day starts with a phone call saying -
Jensen: It's too expensive!
Jeff: Too expensive, you spent too much money yesterday or on the episode before and so we have to take it away, how are we gonna do that? I'm like, take me out, I don't need to be in those scenes. [laughs] And I think both these guys are right, been around so long, I've never directed, I've been asked to direct for the last fourteen years on whatever show I've done and I didn't want to do it because I hate watching myself. I can't imagine going into an editing room and watching myself and being able to decide - I'd be like nope, I just wanna go stay on Jensen and Jared the whole scene. So I've never taken that step and also I've found that it takes a lot more time. And I don't have that. I don't have the time to leave my kids for an extra month to go do prep on the first episode of Dead City. These guys don't have to do that, I would have to go spend a month of fiddling around and looking at locations and you know, meeting with DPs if we don't have our DPs - I mean every year so far we've been on this spinoff we've had different DPs, so it's a lot of stuff. That being said, I've always been the guy next to our DPs saying why are you using that lens? Why not this lens? And asking those questions, so I feel like I could direct at this point pretty easily if it weren't for the fact that I'm in the damn thing. If I could go direct one of these guys [points to either side]? In a second. Yeah, that'd be great.
Jensen: Noted.
Jared: You heard it here first.
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