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moxfirefly · 4 years

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Good afternoon, this has been in the works for a while now and I finally got around to finishing it and being pretty content of it (this is gonna go up on AO3 soon along with the others that aren’t request) but I wanted to post it here first. Enjoy!

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

“Wish you were here right now

All of the things I'd do”

Gaming was always an escape.

From childhood to adulthood. There was some gaming equipment in your hands, controls, handhelds, keyboards and so on. There was just something calming about entering a fantasy world and immersing yourself in scenery and stories that made you stray from bad days and long nights.

For Donatello it was the same.

On one of his many supply scavenges Splinter had found a dumpster near a toy store that was going out of business. It was a memorable haul for them. What they expected to be routine things mixed with some type of groceries had turned into literal Christmas in July. Stuffed animals, board games, action figures and even a few gaming consoles with some cartridges and cd’s. Noticeably they were considered damaged or improperly manufactured, but they didn’t care and for Donnie he had spent a good week and a half fixing up the Nintendo and Play Station 2 consoles back into working conditions.

That alone had been plenty for him but nevertheless Mikey being so excited about playing wanted him to join him. They had played for hours and each disc or cartridge they tried out held a new story, a new set of controls to learn, new visuals and such. He was immediately hooked.

When he had gotten the first parts to start building a PC from scratch he knew there would be another world of possibilities for games.

Now gaming is a leisure for Donnie. Something he does for enjoyment and an escape when his projects become too much. The world of online gaming allowed him to also explore the possibilities of chatting with others though, the humans they were not allowed to see or speak to (with the exception of their Hogosha) but needless to say it wasn’t like Donnie broadcasted his identity and whereabouts. More so these people only came to game and speak game.

Donnie absolutely does detest the unnecessary sexism that gaming brings. Many a time he had read on chats or heard on his head set such derogatory comments thrown at female players. Never the one to stand such misogynistic behavior (he was raised better and had heard enough horror stories from April) he always shot that shit down quickly. Given his status as being far above his gaming peers he had developed respect and none of them ever shot back at him.

That’s how he runs into you.

On the opposing team nonetheless.

Once your female voice ran through the ears of the group he had been stuck in, the comments began to rain down. Some colorful, some lazy and some downright disgusting. Donnie had had enough and with some of his more illegal methods, had managed to push out the players in his party and send the audio recording to the email of the developers.

On exceptionally petty days he did far worse.

You had been stunned, wondering why the gang of immature boys had suddenly disappeared. Only one of them remained with the gamer tag specifying ‘Don_DuzMachines’ you couldn’t help but giggle at it.

You had asked if the sudden disappearance had been a weird glitch and if Don (as you assumed you should call him) had anything to do about it.

“Let’s just say I’ve got my ways” His soft voice rang through your headset.

“Well it’s hardly the first time I’ve had a gang of prepubescent boys tell me to suck their dicks” You started to move away in the map but stopped abruptly.

“Hey do you wanna play something else?” You asked tentatively. “Figured the least I can do is thank you” Donnie sat back pensively, well there was no harm in that now was there?

And so it started innocently.

Co-op games even the occasional match against one another. Each game you two always spoke through your headsets. Mostly banter about strategy or directions for who to do what or the occasional friendly jabs. You hadn’t revealed much that wasn’t the nickname you used as your gamer tag, and well Don had basically done the same.

That is until you decide to poke a little into his life. “You go to college?” You had asked, fingers gliding over the keyboard as you both partook in a raid. Donnie hadn’t expected such a question and he didn’t necessarily want to divulge much, he opted for a more ambiguous response. “I do my own studying, sort of like home schooling if you will?” Well he wasn’t wrong, Splinter had been both father and teacher to them, Donnie had just excelled more quickly and soon enough he was teaching his brothers on the academic side.

“You broke too, huh? Trust me it’s not worth the insane debt you’ll develop in six years that’ll take forty years to pay off” You chuckled with a hint of bitterness, Donnie couldn’t help but laugh and snort.

“That’s cute” You said sincerely. Donnie smiled, heat creeping up his neck.

How innocent things had been at the start.

For six months the two of you divulged little to no information. You never asked to video chat and Donnie never asked for your socials. It had just been a mutual agreement to keep the mystery that just wasn’t verbalized. Maybe it was for the better, because surely what had began as a gaming buddies situation had escalated to, well Donnie couldn’t really explain.

The first instance the two of you had been stuck on a map solving intricate puzzles. It was one of the more relaxed games the two of your partook in together when you didn’t want to deal with other players in a lobby.

“Dating apps are a nightmare, they’re only worth it for getting dumb funny stories” You had been playing but also checking some of the matches you’ve gotten on a site. Donnie swallowed, why did that settle so oddly in his stomach?

“Well any funny ones you’d like to share?” Don asked curiously hoping he wasn’t over stepping any boundaries. “One guy wanted me to cover my feet in marmalade, I really almost hit fuck it and did it” You couldn’t help but smile when Don choked, coughed and bursted out laughing.

“What kink is that even related to? I mean I know people enjoy feet but marmalade?” He was bewildered. “Come on Don don’t kink shame the poor guy, who are you to police his eclectic culinary desires?” Now the two of you couldn’t help but burst into another fit of laughter. Both your avatars were idle standing, the game somewhat abandoned in favor for the conversation.

“Hey I’m not kink shaming, we all have our weird kinks” Donnie smiled sitting back on his swivel chair. You clicked out of the dating site, chin resting on your hand. “Are we finally having this conversation? Cause I love this shit, it’s my bread and butter” You sat back in your gaming chair, tucking your knees.

Donnie felt so shy but the barrier of mistery the two of you had built urged him on. He was curious, like stupid curious what you looked like and while he had everything to figure out exactly where you were, it wasn’t morally correct for him. So why not just indulge in the conversation?

“Well it’s not feet, sorry to disappoint” He heard you laugh, an infectious sound he had grown to enjoy so much. “Feet are so passé anyways, what about bondage?” You spun slowly in your chair, the sounds of Don adjusting and clicking on the keyboard ringing in your ears.

“Bondage is a go, especially sensory deprivation” He was checking some documents April had forwarded to him in regards to a case they were dealing with, but he could multitask. You made an approving noise, nodding while taking a sip of your drink. “Into that D/s stuff?” You asked wanting to see what else he might like.

“Well yeah, but I do enjoy more um... Fem Dom stuff” He finished up the email he wrote out for April and hit send. “A man with taste, not something we get often” You chuckled but decided to add. “I wouldn’t mind having a guy submit to me” You bit the inside of your cheek a little shy suddenly.

Something about that statement made heat spread south for Donnie. The concept of being dominated? By a woman? He peaked a look behind him, pushing one side of his headset down to hear what his brothers might be up to but he heard only music and chatting voices.

“What’s your favorite thing?” He inquired almost too softly.

“Erotic ASMR” There was no trace of embarrassment in your voice and that somehow made Donnie hot.

“Maybe we frequent the same sites for that” Don boldly threw out. You made an approving face before sitting forward and typing on your keyboard. A beat or two later Donnie saw an email notification from you on one of his many burner emails. He opened it finding links to audios from various sites all catered to erotic audios. Donnie whistled, this was a gold mine and true to his predictions you did indeed have some of his favorite sites to peruse.

“It’s not just male audios by the way, there’s women too” You sat back once again, nervously playing with your hair. “Thanks... Well I do like hearing both” Donnie confessed, voice avoiding a stutter.

You grinned. Oh he was even more fun that you could’ve expected.

Curiously enough that had been the tamest experience into yours and Donnie’s sex talks. Because it hadn’t really stopped at that, they progressively escalated little by little. Fave kinks had turned to fave sites, fave sites had turned into fave videos. Donnie never pictured he’d share his hidden folder with a stranger no less.

You nor Donnie could really say how the two of you had ended up one late night, with yet another abandoned game, talking about weird but satisfying cyber sex experiences. Some of your stories had been on the more comical side but a few had riled Donnie up to the point that he couldn’t ignore it. There was a shift in your voice as well, an allure that enticed him.

“Can I be honest?” You licked your suddenly dry lips. Donnie tensed momentarily, not sure what to expect. “Of course, please” You squeezed your thighs together, ‘please’ shouldn’t sound so good coming out of his mouth. You trace lazy circles on your thighs, something pushed you. “I’m kinda turned on by this...by talking to you about all this stuff” Maybe this was overstepping it, surely there was nothing wrong between two adult friends discussing such matters.

There was no need to tell Don that you had yearned to put a face to the name. But his hesitance spoke of insecurities and you could understand that.

“I am too...” Donnie looked up at what he called a ceiling in his home, the darkness of the sewer system and concrete. He’d never have a chance with you, it was a deeply rooted desire for intimacy and if virtually he could obtain it then so be it.

For all your boldness you felt a wave of bashfulness hit, crashed around your self confidence. Then Donnie steps up and you feel your toes curl in excitement. “Do you want to have a better experience?” Donnie runs both hands down his face, who was he to provide better experiences, he’d never even physically had a partner. The slow sigh that escapes your throat is comforting static in his headset. “Yeah, yeah I really do actually” You feel a smile etch itself on your lips.

“You can call me Donnie” It’s the closest to his name, and truthfully he really wants to hear you say it.

“Y/N,” You say to which Donnie makes an approving noise, he finds your name to be pretty. He rolls it in his mouth, testing the syllables, he can envision moaning it, well he wants to moan it if he can be completely honest. He wants to put a face to that name but he quickly pushes the thought out. There’s a pregnant pause where neither of you engage or make the first attempt. Not wanting to let this mood flee, Donnie swallows and closes his eyes. The hum of the abandoned game grounding him.

“Say my name again” It’s not a forceful demand, all the contrary he wants to hear the pitch in your voice when you say it, he wants to picture how each tone would variate depending on what he would do or say. “Donnie...” You smile to yourself when you say it, a hint of desire nestled in it and Don notices that and wants more of it.

There’s a lengthy sigh from your behalf, hands wandering up your thighs towards your chest. “I’d like to be there right now, would like to say it against your lips” Your bold confessions makes Donnie’s pulse quicken. He runs a ghosting touch up his plastron, the vision of a delicate hand doing it. The imaginary weight of you on his lap grinding down on his hard member. Donnie grips himself through his shorts a soft groan escaping his parted lips.

“Want you to kiss me” He swallows dryly, the approving noise you make pushing him forward. “Feel your lips all over, feel your mouth around me...” He lifts his hips, hand cupping himself and the small hitch in your breath is a sound he wants permanently recorded in his brain.

“God are you big? I bet you are” You kneed your breast, thumb and forefinger pinching the sensitive nubs until they’re perked. Donnie smirks to himself, freeing his aching member and looking down at himself. Mutant genes aside he feels somewhat shamefully proud of his cock, he wonders if you would like it... deeply buried within you. “Yeah I am, I think you can take it something tells me” You catch that teasing tone and the urge to swallow him whole and make him see stars is too much.

Your hand finds its way into your underwear, the warm wetness making you moan as you tease your middle finger between the lips to find your sensitive nub there. You bite back another lengthy moan but recover enough to breathlessly say, “oh fuck, Donnie” and that very sound makes him shiver. Never did he think he’d hear something so temptingly good, said with such sincerity. God the things he would do to smell your arousal right now, to taste the wetness. “Push two fingers in slowly” Donnie almost pleas, his voice shakey, hand pumping his cock at a steady pace. You do as he wishes, your gutted moan making more precum gather at the tip of his member.

“God-shit- you sound so good, wish you were riding my big dick right now” He wants to chastise himself for saying something like that, but he can’t deny that statement shakes something in you. He can hear it, the sound of your fingers mixed with a continuously rising string of moans. “Ohmygod” Words tumble out strewn together by your pleasure. “Donnie please, please fuck me harder” That alone makes him sit up and push forwards, one hand on his desk as the other works himself up in upward twisting strokes.

Donnie can’t erase the idea of slamming into you right here on his desk, maybe bent over, maybe you’ll let him cum on your face...

He pushes the idea away, he can’t envision your face now, not right now, not when your moans have you sounding this deliciously in need. You’re plunging two fingers into your core as your free hand runs firm circles around your clit. “Christ Donnie you sound so good baby” You moan, perspiration covering your body and Donnie can only groan his approval.

There’s a few minutes where it’s just the two of you lost in your own pleasure together. The constant chants of ‘fuck’ and ‘god’ and ‘yes’ mixed between the two of you. “Say it... again” Donnie groans out, hand quickening, briefly gathering some saliva and letting it fall on his hard member for better traction. “Don-oh, Donnie cum in me!” You’re so far gone, not caring what comes out of your mouth. The wet sounds in your head set and a vibration you figured could be static mixed with his groans was all you heard.

Donnie’s hips twitch, feels that request swim inside of his brain and the image of burying himself as deeply as you could take is all he needs. Just as your moans rise in crescendo he feels the first twitch and relief of his orgasm overtake him. He’s never felt it hit him this hard it knocks the wind out of him, each rope shooting out onto his hand and floor. In his minds eye though, it’s your suffocating heat taking it, milking him until he’s a shivering mess. It plays perfectly like a movie, he swears he can even feel your lips at his neck and arms holding him tight.

Your sounds are enough to keep him stroking, the way your voice pitched up with the sound of his name entwined, forever recorded in his brain. Your entire body tensed to the point of uncomfortable but it was impossible to stop abruptly when he sounded so lost in you. Your leg shakes and stiffens and it takes every inch of control to not become liquid and slip away into comforting bliss.

Eventually the sounds of heavy breathing slowly but surely settling are the only things the two of you can hear in your ears. There’s a mess, for you and for him. The understanding of things transpired crossing each of you two’s brains. Should you speak first? Should he?

“Um, you with me?” You settle, skin sweaty and mouth dry. There’s movement on the other line, a quiet cuss here and there and you smile. “Yeah, sorry just... made a mess” His voice has that sheepish tone and you can’t help but chuckle.

“Great thing about being a girl, we can conceal the evidence better” You stretch your aching legs enjoying each joint pop. “The female anatomy never seizes to amaze me, trust me” Donnie leans back in his chair, napkin cleaning any other soiled spot.

The silence was somewhat comfortable, the buzzing of good chemicals slowly settling.

“Was this okay?” He asked, hesitant tone in your ears.

“More than okay if you ask me” You kept it light not wanting him to feel odd or even ashamed.

You ventured on slowly, forming the question in your brain and bouncing it back and forward with a swallow. “If, and I mean if you want to, we can maybe do this from time to time” You worried a thumbnail between your teeth. Donnie’s gaze watching the idle screen of the abandoned game, he thought hard but briefly.

“I... yeah I would” He smiles to himself, even if the nagging thought that this might not last clutches the back of his mind. Why ruin a good thing? This was good more than good and you suggested to continue.

He doesn’t want to preoccupy his brain with scenarios, or if that dreaded ‘let’s meet’ sentence decides to cross your lips. If this is the inch of intimacy he gets to have and it’s with you, who he has grown so fond of, then he’s selfishly taking that inch and guarding it with his life.

Mutely you both remain on the line, no words spoken from the agreement, just simply enjoying that the two of you were present.

Even if not physically.

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt donatello x female reader #donnie tmnt #donatello tmnt #tmnt donatello x reader #tmnt donnie x reader #tmnt donnie #tmnt donatello #donatello x reader #donnie x reader #Donatello #Donnie #ns*w #oneshot

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celestialmango · 3 years

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(an anon sent me a prompt a while ago that caught my interest and I tweaked it a little so I wouldn't get writers block and get stuck but honestly whoever you are anon, great job👍, I loved it but it just took awhile for creative juices to flow so I could write it out.)

Soft vore, stuffing, unwilling Prey, ambiguous ending, reader insert, fatal mentions.

🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭

Holy shit, you shiver in fear at the knowledge just given to you by the college staff, you shouldn't have signed up for the dorms fuck what do you do? You don't know but you don't have a choice now, you chosen a college far from home and didn't have the money to rent a place. You can see pity on the staffs face as if they know they signed your death warrant. You take a deep breath, stand up and leave.

You don't have a choice, you can't afford to go anywhere else, you were just assigned to be the roommate of a well-known upper class man Pred on campus, as you slowly walk a down the path to the main dorm you feel you have to think, what do you do? as you enter the building....you have an idea, it might be dumb, might not even work but if a plan like this might help you survive you have to at least try it right? You clap your hands and pray to whatever deities are out there that this will work.

You walk down the hall to your assigned dorm room and knock on the door, after a moment it opens and you're face to face with a gurgling bulge of a stomach, you try not to let it phase you as you look up at the towering form rubbing the back of their neck before they look down at you, before the can do anything you play your cards 'o-oh wow you're tall! Hi I'm (y/n)!' you say with an innocent friendly smile 'the dorm manager assigned me as your roommate, from the sound of it you sound pretty hungry which is great! I wanted to invite you out to a buffet I saw on my bus ride to campus for lunch, my treat!' you look at them expectantly waiting for a reply after your word vomit.

After a few minutes of silence and them just staring down at you begin to fidget in place, they just blink at you slowly, looking as if they're debating some as they lift a hand to their mouth and yawn, you fidget a bit more nervously as you see how wide their maw can stretch and see their sharp canines dripping with saliva before their hand drops and their jaw relaxes. Their other hand finds it's way to the back of your shirt and they bring you inside the room before dropping you on a giant beanbag chair, they yawn again "Nnnn fuck it sure, give me a minute, I gotta put on some pants."

Phase one of plan play dumb success! The staff members said your roommate would eat you as soon as they opened the door, but instead you convinced them to a buffet instead, you take your chance to look around the room and your smile drops a little into a look of concern and confusion. There's only one bed. After getting dressed the come out of a bathroom and see your face "what's with you?" They ask sounding a little hostile, you respond by letting your face flush and scratching your cheek with a finger 'u-um well.' their eyes are gazing at you like a hawk 'there's only one bed in the room, this college doesn't really make roommates share a bed do they?' the Predator responds with an unnerving grin "most of my roommates don't last long."

Deflect! Deflect and act cute! You smile at them innocently again and tilt your head 'oh? Did they get kicked out for some reason or something?' their grin gains an aura of menace. "Or something." You put a hand on your chin in thought, 'by the way how do we get to town from campus? Do you have a car or will we be taking a bus to buffet.' their grin drops as they pause for a moment raising their eyebrow, "do you honestly think someone my size can fit in a car? Because the answer is no." You just grin at them 'guess I'll be paying for bus passes too then' they shake their head "naw, the college provides monthly passes, now come on, we'll want to hurry because the next one will leave soon." You look startled before you leap up, 'ok'.

You have trouble keeping up with them as you both run so they quickly turn back pick you up and tuck you under their arm before rushing to the bus stop, they really want that free food you offered, a chance to pig out that they don't have to pay for sounds great to them.

-----------

To saw you were surprised at how much $5 at a buffet could stretch was an understatement, barely half an hour and a tower of plates was stacked on the table you two sat at and as the pred finished their final plate a well dress person came up and banned you both from coming back, as you both stood on the sidewalk you spoke with a stunned look on your face 'i didn't know it was possible to get kicked out of an all you can eat buffet' the pred patted at their large gut "yeah, pity. I'm not even full yet." They pause looking like they're thinking about something again when you spoke again 'what? Seriously? You ate out the entire buffet.' they look towards you again with a strange gaze that you don't even notice and answer.

"I could go for more." You don't even see them reach for you before you turn to them with a mischievous grin while ask them an question that interests them greatly 'wanna see how many buffets we can banned from in a day?' they hesitate, the hand they were about to snatch you up freezes for a second before it reaches down to pat your shoulder instead as they give you a wide grin and an enthusiastic reply "hell yeah." And off you both went to cause as much chaos as possible before you had to go back to campus.

-----

A few hour later and they can barely squeeze themselves out of the doors of the bus as you return to campus, their gut bulging out so large it look as if they ate a moose, the both of you laughing '-i mean the look on that guys face when you snatched up and ate an entire turkey whole as they chased us out was priceless' "pfft yeah but what about the other guy when I ran out of the kitchen with that pot of soup a chugged it?" You both walk towards the dorm 'he looked like he was about to faint! That was right off the stove! Like boiling hot! How in the world did that not burn like you were drinking lava?' "heat resistance is a wonderful thing" they reply grinning from ear to ear.

After they open the door and you're about turn to leave to talk to staff about finishing the dorm paperwork their hand presses against your back a shove you into their room, you don't see a dark look flash across their face for a moment before disappearing, there is an unnerving tone to their voice that gives no room for argument as they speak "hey now, how about we spend a bit more time together?" It doesn't sound like a question but more like an order. Afraid and nervous about what may happen if you say no, you agree.

They hand you a controller and ask in a voice, as if they know exactly how the words sound

"Wanna smash?" 'Hah' you can't help the laugh that comes out, you shouldn't have told them about your weakness to dirty jokes.

----

Time passes fast as you play smash bros together for a while then move on to more multiple play games, you keep noticing they way they glance at you sometimes with a look that scares you, sometimes licking their lips, you notice as time goes by the size of their stomach decreases and the more it does, the more these moments of staring increase.

Their stomach growls a low long sound and you feel like you're sweating as you shiver while a chill shoots down your spine,you speak in a shaky voice as you get up and start walking towards the door 'w-ell t-this has been fun but I have speak to staff about sleeping arrangements as there's not room for me her right now' you open the door a crack before it slams shut, you see the Pred's hand above you and the other engulfs your shoulder, the tone Pred speaks to you in makes your heart stop "oh I have room." Before the spin you around, pinning your arms to your sides as their jaw stretches open and they lift you up , shoving your head inside and swallowing before you can properly process the situation.

The grip of their throat is tight, but the fleshy tube contracts and releases easily as the experienced muscles drag you deeper inside, you snap out your stunned state a futilely kick and squirm , the struggles doing nothing except helping you slide down faster, the Pred groaning at your flavor as they gulp heavily and fast, impatient and greedy they feel they have waited for this long enough. Your head passed through the opening to their stomach and thinking fast you hold your breath, closing your eye as your face is shoved into the pile of half digested remains of the multiple buffets they cleaned out.

You're quickly force inside, curling up you gasp as your head emerges from the slurry of food, it stick to your hair, a foul acidic smell in your nostrils, you barely have the room to move and you start to cry feeling a bit betrayed but your soft sobs can't be heard over the gurgles and groans of the chamber as it continues to work on the food around you.

-----

"Aaah that hit the spot." They plop back down on their beanbag, their gut having grown in size once more, they give it a couple pats then rub it lightly "out of everything I ate today you are definitely the tastiest." They mean that fully, they had been planning to do this since they were first told that staff was going to once again, try to give them a roommate, a freshman this time, you were always going to feed them, they just didn't expect you to do it in more ways than one.

They continue to switch between rubbing and patting their their gut as a thoughtful look crosses their face, they had made up their mind to eat you, nothing you did was ever going to change that, however, what happens afterwards is still up for debate because honestly you are probably the first one staff sent that was actually friendly towards them instead of an entitled jackass , you also took them out and let them stuff themselves till they couldn't eat anymore, they had to wait to digest a bit before they could fit you in too, but even then they had a really good time today with you.

Considering who and what they were it wouldn't take but a second to cast the spell they would need to keep you from being lost inside their stomach forever, hell you might even actually be a good roommate if they give you that chance....a low whiny gurgle sounds from their gut. Whatever their decision is they will need to make it soon, they have about 15 minutes before the acid in their stomach starts to affect you too.

#soft vore #v*re #v0re #unwilling prey #ambiguous ending

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ethernetchord · 3 years

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lets talk: popular iwwv criticism

(disclaimer: i know criticism is subjective and thats why im doing this, i wanna look at some common points made against iwwv and dissect them just a little bit in the opposite direction. also none of this is directed at any individual- it’s all based on the general talking points i’ve seen surrounding the book.)

SPOILER WARNING !!

lack of exploration into james and oliver (+ gay characters feel performative)

i’ve seen loads of people say that oliver and james’ relationship felt very performative, a way of including the queer romnce which clearly is very important to the plot but not actually giving it any space in the novel, nor developing it to the same extent which meredith/oliver was.

oliver and meredith had a very strictly physical relationship and while he did love her, he wasn’t in love with her the way he was with james. the juxtaposition in the way that oliver/james is delivered and the way meredith/oliver is delivered is, i believe, far too repetitive to not be intentional. i actually realised upon re-reading how much focus there really is on meredith’s sexuality, even in subtleties in the book. meredith and oliver get more blatant sex scenes, get more physical parts because oliver was (to an extent) using his attraction to meredith to distract himself from his infatuation with james.

we also have to remember that oliver and james didn’t get their real moment of honesty about their relationship till extremely late into the book. i’d honestly see it as more ‘performative’ to then after or in the middle of kind lear throwing in some wild sex scene between the two. it wouldn't have fit.

“why didn’t james and oliver get together earlier then >:(((“ because the slow burn between them, the subtext, the subtle-ness, the yearning, they were all crucial to the decision which oliver made at the end. the fact that they burned so bright for each other but (oliver particularly) were so desperately repressed, that was what made this such a tragic romance. yes its tiring to read stories about queer people being repressed, yes its tiring to see the bury your gays trope. but like oliver says, it goes beyond gender.

if oliver’s second love interest was a girl, and treated this way, we’d be a lot more on board with these tropes- but the fact that james is a man, and this therefor becomes a queer relationship, makes it feel performative. i can’t convince you of anything- but i like to believe that their relationship being treated like this not only makes it so much more “heart wrenching because why! why couldn’t it work out, why couldn’t it be better!” - not because its a queer relationship but because they were soulmates.

alexander wasn’t performative. not in the slightest, rio just didn’t make being gay his entire identity. same goes for colin. just because they’re queer doesn’t mean it needs to be the only thing about them. this isn’t a lgbt novel- characters dont have to be gay just for plot. they can just be gay.

i’ve also seen people complain about not just making oliver bisexual. guys. did you read the book? he was bisexual. he was emotionally and physically attracted to both meredith and james. guys that’s literally what bisexual means.

i'm totally on board with the coming out scenes! and realisation of feelings and all that stuff- but again, not an lgbt centric novel and also- these were things oliver probably did and realised far before this book. remember that its set in 4th year, at an art school. he knew he was fruity ok. not every queer character in every queer book have to have these grandious coming out scenes or realisations. the lack there of doesn’t equal performance.

the ending was rushed and bad

believe what you will, but i don’t think james is dead. there’s a little too much ambiguity in that ending, in the extract he leaves oliver, in the “his body was never found.” so if your main quarrel with the ending is that “bury your gays” situation- please know there’s a chance- and that giving it that chance opens up so much more discussion and reader response.

yes, the ending is sad. but it’s not rushed. “but that is how a tragedy like ours or king lears breaks your heart- by making you believe the ending might still be happy until the very last second.” doing king lear, doing macbeth, doing romeo and juliet, the plays are chosen not only for reader convenience (they’re plays readers will most likely be familiar with) but also because they all, so very deeply, foreshadow a “bad” ending. killing james, makes sense. as much as people don’t want to hear it, from an authorial perspective- from the reader’s perspective and as a human being it makes sense. why do keep arguing that he “should’ve stayed alive for oliver” or that “if he really loved oliver he wouldn’t have done it” - why are we limiting a character’s entire existence down to their love interest. yes, they were best friends, yes they were set up as lovers but that doesn’t mean that that would be enough to keep james around. james was a fragile character- he was always checking with oliver if he had upset him, he was always worried, overthinking, james wasn’t strong minded- and he was suffering. the only person he had left to depend on was in prison, he was plagued with the guilt of causing the death of a classmate and letting oliver take the blame, if he did kill himself, it sure as hell doesn’t have any reason to sound forced.

“its not nearly as good as the secret history!!!!”

to be honest here buds, why the fuck do we keep comparing them so insistently. they are not the same book. iwwv wasn’t trying to be tsh 2.0, yes there are similarities because hey! guess what! books in similar genres tend to do that! always comparing it tsh when they have different motives, different plots and vastly different execution makes no sense. the only reason that they are compared is because tumblrtm dark academics like to group the two together. and yea- makes sense, but stop trying to belittle iwwv because it isn't as grandiose as tsh, because it’s a little more literal, because it’s not as intertextual as tsh. half the people saying iwwv isn’t as good as tsh are practically just subtly going “shakespeare isn’t as complicated as ancient greek huehue” stop forcing the two together and let them be separately appreciated.

the characters were flat/archetypes/etc

sigh. okay.

these characters are actors. this book shows us their transition from themselves entirely into a conjunction of the roles they’ve played and the stereotypes they’ve portrayed.

“we were so easily manipulated - confusion made a masterpiece of us.”

“for us, everything was a performance”

“imagine having all your own thoughts and feelings tangled up with all the thoughts and feelings of a whole other person. it can be hard, sometimes, to sort out which is which.”

“far too many times i had asked myself whether art was imitating life or if it was the other way around”

“it’s easier now to be romeo, or macbeth, or brutus, or edmund. someone else.”

are you seeing it now? this focus on their archetypes, this focus on the character they are; the way they see themselves not merely as human but as a walking concoction of every character they have turned into and out of. they depend on their archetypes to give them meaning. rio uses these archetypes to remind us of the submersion of her characters. they weren’t flat, their intentional lack of dimension due to their pasts is what makes them so intricate. furthermore, there's an evident subversion- the tyrant becomes a victim, the hero becomes a villain (they all become villains really), the ingenue becomes corrupted. like mentioned before, i think we forget ourselves easily reading this book but there is a great deal of emphasis on this being their last year- which is so important. the damage has been done and a lot of the issues people have with the content (or lack thereof) in this book has to do with the fact that it’s all things that would have occurred in books focusing on previous years at delletcher.

“it didn't live up to expectation” (also leading on from read tsh to this and being ‘disappointed’)

i cant argue this because its entirely subjective. whatever expectation was created for you, i cannot know that and appropriately respond however- if you liked the secret history and understood the secret history then there's a good chance you also liked and understood this book- even if not to the same extent but you must be able to recognize the authorial approach and its significance. i think a lot of ppl read iwwv (and a lot of “dark academia” texts and films) and hope to be able to romanticize the aesthetic or the concepts and then are disappointed when they are presented with mildly unlikeable and overwhelmingly human characters who aren’t easy to romanticize.

a great majority of these books are criticisms of the very culture you’re trying to romanticize, and the only time you’re willing to admit that is when boasting about the ‘self-awareness’ of the people indulging in them, and then a moment later complain about those same qualities because they don’t serve this idealized expectation.

bad rep for arts/liberal arts/ humanities students as being pretentious/cultish

as a humanities student with a great love for eng lit- all of these things are indeed pretentious and cultish. not all the time and not always and not every person- but it is a common theme. academia is overwhelmingly obsessive and extremely white-washed. people become so fast to believe that they are indulging in finer arts and are therefore a higher standard of person. academia is problematic. and the recent influx of people interested in it is good, very good because hopefully, we’ll be more diverse, more open-minded, more accepting. that's what i hope at least. if you know, as an individual, that you’re not a pretentious academic who places themselves above non-academics then that's wonderful- but there are dangers and negative sides to academia that need to be understood so that we can see to not perpetuating them.

i cant refute all points, mostly because there's a lot of good and well-explained criticism because no book is perfect. and my intentions are not to belittle anyone's opinion. these are merely opposing arguments, food for thought and to be fair- a critical look into why not everything is always going to be what we expect of it and why every ‘problem’ can be assessed.

#iwwv #if we were villains #iwwv critism #book review #tsh #dark academia #fanart

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jaypsnax · 3 years

Photo

Alright then, to take it from the top... here’s some things I’ve done here or there for this dang game, from oldest to newest. With a big chunk of months starting with the margin Floofty there. Much is traditional and such, which is not my most practiced medium. Details on each below, just because I like over-explaining and it helps my nerves about posting.

1st: Fairly certain this Gramble is the first thing I did that was OK enough to show. Or, at least close to the first. He was one of my favorites and still is for his kindness(though he also can be really mean and paranoid, also a reason why I like him), so I wanted to get around to em. Also he’s very cute, I love my little malewife. I wanna scoop him up and hold him. Trouble is, Gramble has to have some of the most awkward proportions I’ve yet experienced while trying to draw a grumpus, I swear. That, and the more I looked at it, the more I grew to be unhappy with it. That generally applies to basically all of the drawings from last year, I find them to be “eh” at best. But it is what it is. 2nd: Second up is Flooftyyy, my most favorite. Intelligent, well-spoken, morally ambiguous, NB... and an asshole. But one with a cause they believe in that’s ultimately well intentioned, which they’ll go to self-destructive lengths to fulfill. And it’s clear they struggle to really get a grasp on how to treat people and have learned to cope with their frustration by shutting everyone out and believing them to be ignorant. While still obviously playing favorites between Eggabell and Triffany :p But by the end of the game, they’re learning that in order to really do what they want, they’ve got to really try and understand others. They’re the sort that I’d love to keep following to see their development. The awkwardness, the uncomfortable apologies and attempts at empathizing or opening up, the potential for blossoming relationships and a connection with others that, maybe, they’ve never quite experienced before. Their character is one that’s kind of close to my heart for being interesting and also quite similar to one I made and roleplayed for years. Add in the fact they’re NB and that just sealed the deal, that’s some fucking gender goddamn euphoria right there. So I had to draw them. 3rd: This one also mostly falls under the same explanation as above, except it was an effort as really figuring out grumpus bodies and proportions and stuff. Albeit in the form of solely Floofty, but my mental bandwidth for anything more than a drawing or two at a time is zilch. After that I’m spent. It was the first thing that I felt even marginally satisfied with, however.... I just feel like I’m in danger when looking at it. Like I’m gonna lose my way of things and habits I’ve built now from observing it too closely. Did keep the eyes, however. Kind of. 4th: To be real w you I just felt like drawing a Filbo after seeing a Filbo. He’s cute and I’d put a smooch on his dumb little head. Also more practice w grump stuff, but with some intentional attempts at stylization. I guess it didn’t stick, but who knows, maybe I could pick some of it back up? 5th: THE FIRST NEW DRAWING FROM A FEW DAYS AGO and it’s FLOOFTY, of course. It’s not really the first, there’s a few other things before it, but they suck so... yeah. I’d crawled out of the Bugsnax hole somewhat after a few months and failing to really do anything I actually wanted to do before, but a particular fic conked me right back 6 ft under. Piled the dirt over me and packed it in tight. So here I am again. And not only is it like that, but after binging a whole nearly 60,000 words in a night/morning, I was struck with the inspiration to actually write myself. Or try to, anyway. I have experience in RPing, but not a whole lot in actually... making a story myself. It’s not been going well, but I’ve talked plenty about that already... I’m sure it gets annoying for the whole maybe one person whose seen most of it to witness. And I’m still having fun. I’d mention the fic, but considering it’s NSFW and I’m officially tagging this... I don’t know if they’d want me advertising it as such. But surprise surprise, it’s Floofty related. And don’t get the wrong idea, while it covers explicit subject matter, that’s not entirely the point. Not a bad thing if it were, just that it’s more than that. I just like good character writing over all else, which is something liking this game to begin with heavily reinforced.... 6th: Heeeere’s Gramble, again. I’d been doing some little drawings for character profile stuff in my notebook, but I started to run into some difficulties when I got to him. This here is one of the results of the couple of little draws I did to try and understand. Again, his proportions are so *weird*. He’s just a little guy.... 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th: Here marks the first impulse draw after considering Buddy/Filbo/Beffica poly stuff. As well as the sudden Buddy drawing in general, which came as a big shock to me. These draws are suuuper rough, but I like the concepts. And goodness has this stuff been a whole ‘nother tangent... I did a fair amount of talking about it here. I’d do more, since there were TONS of details I still wanted to mentioned, but... my hands are starting to hurt. So maybe later. I realized that I kinda of messed up their design in my head bc I thought they had more similar teeth to Clumby. Whoops. That’s what I get for not using reference and same with FlooFTY’S TEETH AND THE WATCH NOOOOOOOOOO- .... *Ahem* I reckon the design is subject to change. Gotta make some little adjustment here or there, like maybe different eyes to distinct them from Floofty, but I actually rather... like the look. The hat, tie, and maybe a change to a bag on the side look nice... if totally not canon. But I will have just a little break from canon, as a treat. Otherwise it’s canon or bust. Personally, at least. I don’t really hold others to that standard unless they say they’re trying to follow canon or diverge so badly that a character is unrecognizable.

#bugsnax #Floofty Fizzlebean #Filbo Fiddlepie #Beffica Winklesnoot #Journalist #uhhhhh #Gramble Gigglefunny #This is NOT going to be a common thing #Floating around in official tags kinda freaks me out #my art

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magireco · 3 years

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out of curiosity what do you think of the characterization of homura in rebellion? i hugely dislike it but get the impression you enjoy it which i think is interesting cuz we seem to have very similar thoughts on homura pre-rebellion (CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG)

THIS IS INTERESTING BECAUSE IT DEPENDS ON WHAT FLAVOR OF REBELLION HOMURA YOU MEAN. i really really like the way she was done in the first half of the movie but as for the twist at the end...? mmm...

...okay, so... i've been thinking about saying this at some point but i keep avoiding it in fear of causing discourse and such bc... this is a really unpopular opinion apparently, but I really do not think devil homura was done properly. read under the cut if you wanna know why i feel this way!

the first issue i'm going to address is that there wasn't NEARLY enough buildup for it. i'm going to explain this from the perspective of a first-time viewer: what would you have thought would happen after the very last scene of rebellion leading up to them breaking homura out of her soul gem? when homulilly got purified and the flowers on her head turned to sakura flowers (y'know, the flowers that symbolize life and rebirth, homura being reborn from her witch)? did you think homura was suddenly gonna undermine madoka's godliness? because, uh, first-view me did not think that at all. and neither did almost anyone i know who watched it for the first time. not only is that poor setup but it's just so sudden and it feels so out of character compared to what we'd seen in the entire series as a whole, especially considering that the entire last part of the movie leading up until that was about purifying her... and saving her... there wasn't enough buildup. most people are like "but the flower scene happened!" but that's still way too vague...? it's hard to tell what conclusion homura comes to at the end, because we don't get to see any of her internal monologue... there is no other buildup after the flower scene... it just skips to homura realizing she's a witch. wouldn't that bring the viewer to think the flower scene was something that made homura realize she was a witch rather than her suddenly starting to form her plan? it always felt like to me the conclusion homura came to at the end of the flower scene was that she was validating madoka's bravery and telling her that if it ever came to that, she'd have the ability to make that hard decision. which is... so... weird? because i always interpreted that as homura coming to terms with what happened? i could just be interpreting it wrong though, but isn't that supposed to be our proof scene? our buildup scene? why would they make it so hard to understand? we need to know such important buildup points just as blatantly as the natural buildup to homura becoming a witch was. that's just from a moviemaking & writing perspective though.

secondly, i'm gonna discuss homura's motive. i actually ended up understanding were she was coming from after a while of being like "what the hell that makes zero sense!!!!". madoka is a 14-year-old girl who, in order to save the fate of every magical girl, literally had to sacrifice herself and erase herself from the world, and in the end, madoka just ended up saving homura again, and that must've made homura feel like her promise with madoka was never fulfilled. it's unfair what happened when you think about it and the law of cycles should not have been run by madoka herself because she, as any other 14 year old, deserves to be happy on earth. although it was said in magireco that madoka felt happy with what she was doing (and she felt like it truly gave her a purpose), she did admit to feeling lonely and homura probably made that assumption big time. but the way the writers went about it just made her seem so sinister... so out-of-character-ly sinister. what with the evil smirking and the deepened, almost... uh, sensual-seeming voice, and homura completely ignoring madoka's fear. it feels like they twisted her character extremely suddenly and it throws the viewer on a loop. they could've gone with that ending without making such drastic and sudden changes to homura's character, and if they were planning on doing that, why did they not give us more buildup? buildup that wasn't extremely cryptic that you have to scan and search every detail to get a clue? something i love about rebellion is that every time you watch you find something new, but how come some of the only clues illuding to devil homura's existence are in the op? it's odd. why didn't they go with something like making the incubators run the law of cycles? they were the ones at fault for causing it to be created. but honestly, the incubators cannot be trusted with anything, which is why it'd make sense for a magical girl to run the law of cycles, but if homura and madoka had the combined power to do so, what if they just remade the law of cycles so it was less unfair to madoka...? i don't know. either of those possibilites would make more sense than what happened.

something else that kind of irks me about it is that they demonized(literally, lol) homura's love for madoka. homura is very much a canon lesbian, and it's incredibly discomforting to me that they made her seem, outwardly to the viewer, so selfish...? please don't get me wrong, i'm not ACTUALLY calling homura selfish -- i know the entire akumura facade is a mask she put on, but like, it's so much more blatantly sinister than she is in the series when she's putting on the coolmura facade. it's going to really confuse the viewer and see every single one of her actions from the entire series in a completely different light, INCLUDING stuff that happened in rebellion itself. like the genuine sadness homura felt, the way we saw into her soul and felt her pain, that genuinely made a lot of people i've seen think that it was ingenuine upon first inspection... they made homura turn "evil" out of her love for madoka, as if it's a bad thing to fall in love, and as if love for another girl was what corrupted her soul gem... i understand that gen urobuchi probably wanted to explore that kind of path where love leads to obsession or whatever, but homura was selfless to a fault, constantly trying to force herself away from the others in order to not get attached, and deeply afraid of seeming creepy and predatory and scaring(she said this herself), which is exactly what she ends up doing at the end, and i feel so awful that they did that to her... how is the viewer supposed to know what her true motives are at that point? it gets all scrambled up after they did that huge plot twist. i'm going to address another thing super quick before people jump in my ask box over this, i understand also that it would make sense for homura to be obsessed with madoka, but in the series, it was never shown in this light, and like i said, if they were going to do this, why'd they even have the purification scene at the end at all? the buildup is all wrong . it also just made me upset that this ending caused SO many people to start literally believing homura is evil because of her actions at the end, and it made people become even more vehement on their beliefs that homura is obsessive and ps*cho...

i was really confused when i watched it for the first time (and also sobbing hysterically, literally, my funniest rebellion story as someone who has genuinely watched the movie 40-ish times, i remember vividly the first time i watched it i started sobbing on my hands and knees on a yoga mat in my mom's room). also like, just to prove my point a teensy bit more, the ending was so ambiguous and out of nowhere that one of the first google results to "madoka magica rebellion" is "madoka magica rebellion ending explained" because it shocked people so much that that was the first thing they needed to google. also, the fact they left us on such a vague cliffhanger and then abandoned the movie series for a total of 8 whole years only to make a sudden comeback in god's holy year of 2021 was almost cruel. LIKE GUYS I JUST FINISHED UP MY DEVIL HOMURA HEADCANONS IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!!!

...anyways, um, i really have to address the sexualization. madoka magica, previously, was a series that avoided fanservice in the show, at least, but why did they make akumura's design look like that...? it shows an unsettling amount of skin and like, every three seconds in the end they're focusing intensely on her lips and her eyes and... it's almost like the writers forgot she was 14, but they never seemed to forget that in the series? what happened????? in the transformation scene, we get closeup views of homura's thighs and back and stuff and it's all open everywhere... they made her tights into thigh-highs... in the whole series, even when she went to school, she always wore tights, and she was wearing tights in her magical girl outfit too... they absolutely deliberately did that to sexualize her further so they could make official art with her thighs out. speaking of official art that unsettles me, why does so much of the official art make the whole outfit just glued to her body and you can see all the shading on her features... it's just. ugh. anyways.

i went off a LITTLE too much on this and i know this is probably gonna get me some weird glances in the fandom and i am open to hearing other people's opinions but i don't think i'll ever stop disliking the effect this plot twist had on the fandom's interpretation of homura and although i'm like UNDENIABLY incredibly hyper excited for the next movie, i'm kind of...nervous for what this is going to bring? i don't want this next movie to cause the same amount of discourse the ending of rebellion did and i legit just want to see homura happy. another one of my main issues with the ending is just that homura is SO unhappy when she literally deserves to be happy SOOOOOOO BAD and just take a break from all the loops ... i'm Praying to madokami out there that that's what happens.

i know this is all really funny coming from someone who draws devil homura on a regular basis and literally writes her, but like... i'm a lesbian i'm allowed to<3

ANYWAYS thanks for listening this was a fun ask!!!

#asks #neorattz #rambles #analysis #rebellion tag #IM DEADASS AFRAID TO DROP THIS #like... something i was too afraid to mention is that i Have unlisted disorders that are heavily stigmatized #and the reason why they are unlisted is literally bc of that #and i feel like i'm allowed to have a negative stance on this kind of thing because of that #not that someone who doesn't have those things isn't allowed to have these opinions OR opposing opinions but like #i've seen some people choose to cope through devil homura which like.#i get that.#and then i've seen other people use devil homura as an example on why homura is an obsessed psycho girl who only loves madoka #and hates everyone else #which is also partially where my issue stems from.#it's complicated. just like the ending of rebellion!!!!! LOLL

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arctic-comet · 3 years

Text

Osblaine week 2021, Day 2: Lyrics

Over the last several weeks, I have carefully curated a playlist for Osblaine. The final total length of the playlist is 2 hours and 53 minutes.

The playlist can be found HERE

Click "Keep Reading" if you're interested in the introduction, commentary, more graphics and the full tracklist.

For full disclosure, I have to give some of the credit to my amazing fellow Osblaine fangirls @dystopiandramaqueen, @splitscreen and everyone who participated in a certain conversation for the original inspiration and even bringing up some of the songs.

You should look at the playlist in five parts: one section for each season that's aired and one section for the future (because I like to end things on a hopeful note).

The playlist contains a lot of the following:

Music from movie and TV soundtracks

Instrumental music

Remixes

Classics and covers of classics

Country music. I blame Florida. My sincerest apologies.

Some of the songs were chosen because they reminded me of a certain Osblaine scene, and some of them aren't specific to particular scenes but chosen for the general Osblaine vibe. And most of the movie/TV music I chose have been used for couples that remind me of Nick and June.

Part I- Season 1, first 12 songs of the playlist:

Forbidden Love- Abel Korzeniowski, Jasper Randall, The Hollywood Studio Symphony (Romeo & Juliet)

Fireflies- Owl City

Echoes in Rain- Enya

My Ghost- Glass Pear (Bones)

Daring to Hope- Anne Dudley (Poldark)

Everytime We Touch- Cascada

1000 Times- Sara Bareilles

Too Good At Goodbyes- Sam Smith

In Case You Don't Live Forever- Ben Platt

To Find You- Cast of Sing Street, Brenock O’Connor

She- Elvis Costello (Notting Hill)

Miracle- Instrumental- Cö Shu Nie

Hanging By A Moment- Lifehouse

Commentary:

The first instrumental song IMO works as an intro for their entire love story.

The next two songs are more about having the right vibe. It's a little ambiguous and dark because that's how their life is in Gilead.

Leave my door open just a crack

Please take me away from here

'Cause I feel like such an insomniac

Please take me away from here

Why do I tire of counting sheep?

Please take me away from here

When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

***

Wait for the sun

Watching the sky

Black as a crow

Night passes by

Taking the stars

So far away

Everything flows

Here comes another new day

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

***

"My Ghost" is June's POV before they sleep together, wondering if she can trust Nick:

Who can you trust, in this place?

And whom can I put my faith?

If you're real, then show me now,

Who you are

The last two songs are for episode 1x10, for both Nick’s reaction to June’s pregnancy and the beginning of her first escape attempt (arranged by Nick).

She may be the face I can't forget The trace of pleasure or regret May be my treasure or the price I have to pay She may be the song that summer sings Maybe the chill that autumn brings Maybe a hundred different things Within the measure of a day

Part II- Season 2, next 10 songs:

Love Will Keep Us Alive- Eagles

So Easy- Phillip Phillips

Incomplete- James Bay

Rewrite the Stars- The Piano Guys (The Greatest Showman)

I’ll Be Your Shelter- Taylor Dayne

Love Never Fails- Brandon Heath

P.S. I Love You- 05:11- John Powell (P.S. I Love You)

It's A Girl- Mychel Danna (The Time Traveler's Wife)

I'll Stand By You- Josh Groban, Helene Fischer

The Miracle of Love- Eurythmics

Commentary:

The first four songs cover June’s escape attempt and the time they share at the Boston Globe.

"Incomplete" is Nick's POV from when she's on the run and he knows she'll be gone from his life soon. He lives in the moment.

I don't wanna look down

I don't want us to break up in the clouds

All I want is to stay us, to stay with you now

"I'll Be Your Shelter" is for when June's mental health is at its lowest point and he goes to Serena to beg for her to get June help.

What you need is a friend to count on

What you got baby you got someone

Who will stay when the rain is fallin'

And won't let it fall on you

P.S. I Love You takes me back to episode 2.09, Nick’s selflessness in the episode and of course the scene where after telling June that Luke loves her, he tells her that he loves her too, despite believing she probably doesn’t feel the same way.

It's A Girl makes me think of the beautiful moment they share during June's false labor when he helps her out of the van and they climb the steps together.

I’ll Stand By You is for 2.10, Nick holding June after she was heartbroken over Hannah and over what the Waterfords did to her and clinging onto him.

Part III- Season 3, next 6 songs:

Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close- Alexandre Desplat (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

All I Ask- Adele

Never Enough- Loren Allred (The Greatest Showman)

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever- Taylor Swift, ZAYN (Fifty Shades Darker)

Love is Gone- SLANDER, Dylan Matthew

Constellations- The Oh Hellos

Commentary:

For obvious reasons, it was extremely difficult to pick songs for this season.

The first (instrumental) song is for the beginning of the season with June coming back to the Waterford house and them then saying goodbye to each other on the street.

All I Ask, Never Enough, I Don't Wanna Live Forever and Love Is Gone are for their night together in June’s room at Lawrence’s (the one we didn’t get to see sigh). They know it's possible it's all they'll ever have, and they'll take it, but it'll never be enough.

I will leave my heart at the door I won't say a word They've all been said before, you know So why don't we just play pretend? Like we're not scared of what's coming next Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don't get me wrong I know there is no tomorrow All I ask is

If this is my last night with you Hold me like I'm more than just a friend Give me a memory I can use Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do It matters how this ends 'Cause what if I never love again?

***

All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it'll

Never be enough

***

I'm sorry, don't leave me, I want you here with me

I know that your love is gone

I can't breathe, I'm so weak, I know this isn't easy

Don't tell me that your love is gone

That your love is gone

"Constellations" is for their long separation and the doubts that I'm sure plagued them both during it. Would they ever see each other again?

Part IV- S4, next 12 songs:

All of Me- John Legend

(Everything I do) I Do It For You- Bryan Adams

Iris- Natalie Taylor (City of Angels)

She Was Like A Bright Light- Hans Zimmer, Rupert Greyson-Williams (Winter’s Tale)

Noah's Last Letter- Aaron Zigman (The Notebook)

What’s In The Middle- the bird and the bee (Bones)

ivy- Taylor Swift

Footprints in the Sand- Leona Lewis

Remember Me (Lullaby)- Gael Garcia Bernal, Gabriella Flores (Coco)

On The Nature Of Daylight- Max Richter

My Heart Will Go On- Basil Jose (Titanic)

The Story- Sara Ramirez (Grey's Anatomy)

Commentary:

There were sooo many songs I wanted to include in part IV, but I controlled myself and ended up with this particular dozen.

"She Was Like A Bright Light" and "Noah’s Last Letter" are an instrumental double punch to the gut for Nick’s time in Gilead during episodes 4.07-4.09. The first one is meant for when he finds out June made it to Canada, and the 2nd for is for when he starts to gather info on Hannah to give to June.

"What’s in the Middle" and "ivy" are June’s POV of episodes 4.07-4.09.

"What's In The Middle" has more of an angry and confused vibe, and June was definitely both in episodes 7 and 8.

Losing your head is such a common theme

All your brains are falling out, falling out the open seams

Where is the heart, is the heart of the matter

I will empty out my skull of all this useless chatter

On the other hand, "ivy" has this haunted vibe, but there's also reverence and acceptance, which she begins to achieve in episode 9.

Oh, goddamn

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Oh, I can't

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

And now I'm covered in you

The next three songs are of course all for their reunion in 4.09, and I couldn’t resist including the song that was actually played in the scene.

"The Story" draws the season to a close nicely, with June understanding that her current needs are different from what they used to be and that there’s someone who understands her completely (and it’s not Luke).

You see the smile that's on my mouth

It's hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed

They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am

And they don't know what I've been through like you do

And I was made for you

Part V- Season 5 and Beyond, the last 6 songs

Secret Love Song- Little Mix, Jason Derulo

Burn With You- Lea Michele

The Bones- Maren Morris

Feels Like Home- Auli'i Carvalho, Keegan DeWitt

Love Will Find A Way- Piano Covers (Lion King II)

Like I'll Never Love You Again- Carrie Underwood

“Secret Love Song” is a more angsty tune about a love that’s still kept a secret like June and Nick’s love (as far as most people are concerned). Now that they’ve already made out in front of the man who raped and abused June and made Nick watch him do that, I want to believe they can let go of the secrecy in S5, at least when it comes to a few people.

I'm living for that day Someday Can I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that we could be like that Why can't we it be like that? Cause I'm yours, I'm yours Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't we be like that? Wish we could be like that

***

“Bones” is about a relationship with a strong foundation, which IMO they do have. It will carry them in the future, too. They’re more into each other now than ever before and especially June is coming to terms with how strong that love is. They’ll weather any storm.

When the bones are good, the rest don't matter

Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter

Let it break 'cause you and I remain the same

When there ain't a crack in the foundation

Baby, I know any storm we're facing

Will blow right over while we stay put

The house don't fall when the bones are good

***

“Feels Like Home” is more hopeful. Their home is with each other and I hope that’s something that will be explored more in the future.

Take me, I'm ready

Go slow but go steady

To a place that we can call our own

I wanna know what feels like home

***

“Like I’ll Never Love You Again” is a good conclusion for the playlist. It’s hopeful and a testament to an epic love.

I wanna love you like the rain on a roof

Stronger than a bottle of a hundred ten proof

I wanna take love to places that love has never been

Yeah, I wanna love you like I'll never love you again

And I'll love you again

Oh, and again

#the handmaid’s tale #nick x june #osblaine #osblaineweek2021

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sugar-petals · 4 years

Text

Treats For You (M)

↳ PAIRING: yuzuru hanyu × reader

↳ PLOT: You tend to a nervous Yuzu the night before a skating competition.

↳ WORD COUNT: 9k | one shot | domestic au, smut

↳ WARNINGS ⚠️ pwp, dom/sub, feeding yuzu treats, pegging, some very wet oral (m giving), cum play, oh lord it gets graphic, fingering, crying, mommy kink, yuzu’s crazy back arch, rough sex, masochism, aftercare, some asthma talk

↳ CARO’S NOTE: inspired by this juicy gif. PS: since i usually post for other fandoms — if you’re unfamiliar with yuzu, visit this intro post.

Just two minutes after you switch off the light, he starts fidgeting.

Repeatedly, all while messing around with his pillow. Soon enough, the blanket you share becomes all disheveled.

You turn your head towards the window to check. All as usual. The blinds are perfectly drawn to shut out the moonlight. Meanwhile, the humidifier infuses the air in gentle ten-minute intervals. Not even the heater is bumbling tonight. Yuzuru keeps on rustling beside you, still. Some of his plushies fall off the bed, one after the other.

Of course he can’t sleep. It’s daunting, no precaution ever helps. The blanket couldn’t be any more crumpled up at this point.

„I’m so nervous,“ he finally sits up another minute later, causing the duvet to lift. A little sigh follows.

Eventually, you turn in the sheets yourself, now facing him. Or rather, what you can vaguely make out as his crouching silhouette.

„Hey,“ you mumble from your left side of the bed. „You watched all of the performances from last month.“ You pat Yuzu’s pillow, hoping he would sink down on it again. „At least twice. Or more.“

God knows for how many hours he stretched in front of the TV on his spongy blue yoga mat, reviewing mountains of footage with a furrowed brow worthy of a restaurant critic.

Every jump and every turn, analyzed over and over. Down to the millimeter. Even the costume got its fair share of scorn. Too wide there, this detail on the collar could be different, that part gets in the way while doing spins.

„It’s all— I don’t know what I’m lacking these days.“

The silhouette doesn’t look like it’s headed to lie down again for the time being. You reach toward your bedstand’s squiggly designer lamp. After fumbling about in the dark, you find the bulky switch at its bottom. On goes the light again. Perhaps a bit too bright, both of you squint hard.

„It’s not like you’re dropping to second place anytime soon.“

Given how you thought you could call it a day before Yuzu started to fidget, maybe your voice is not fully resonant yet. It still carries a little unspoken ‚…right?‘ with it.

As soon as you finish the sentence, you feel how he can pick up on it already. The humidifier dryly comments by puffing out a cloud of lavender steam.

„I don’t really know,“ Yuzu retorts twisting, going into a deep shrug. He is completely sunken now.

„Looks like a simple big hug won’t do, hm.“

Yuzuru ends up nodding. It’s more knowing than admitting. But you don’t like the sense of resignation that comes with it, at all. The problem goes a little deeper than just motivating him with the stats he ironically already knows, times better than you, even.

It’s been going on for the entire day. The last time he made such a grouchy face at his videos was around Christmas. Back then, he couldn’t quite get the jumps right at the start of his routine. But now? His scores are just fine. Not to mention the jumps.

„I didn’t think you were lacking,“ you say. „You just fell once during training.“

And that was because he was fooling around during a break, not in the serious exercises.

„Sorry for bothering you,“ he buries his face in the blanket, beginning to ruffle his hair all over the place. Frustrated Friday-evening-Yuzu always does that, but the energy doesn’t seem to go anywhere this time.

The murmur of his stomach isn’t hard to miss either. You lay your hand on Yuzu’s back.

„Is it because you didn’t eat?“

You wonder what he had for dinner.

Only more guilty stomach growling reaches you as a reply. Figures: He skipped it, and lunch, too. His breakfast was so frugal, you don’t even remember whether he had his milk or not.

Yuzu was already pacing around in the living room at that point. Recalling the tricky parts of the upcoming choreography, treading his feet into the carpet, humming the steady rhythm of his skating program.

„Maybe I’m turning into a snickers diva,“ a muffled little comment emerges from where his chaotic hair sticks out from the duvet. At this point, his face is all buried there.

„I mean. If you allow me to baby you…“

Three minutes later. You rub your eyes, shift from leg to leg. The kitchen floor is as cold as ever so you regret not putting on socks. Meanwhile, there’s no problem raiding the fridge.

You could go to the grocery store five times a day and buy everything Yuzu’s mouth waters over — it’d still be stacked to the top. Snacks, veggies, particular sports drinks in weird blue colors, Japanese pickled plums, gyoza left-overs, salad, various fizzy drinks, mostly lemonade.

It’s like that with any food. Out of sight, out of mind. He won’t bother getting up from the yoga mat if he’s fixated on the TV.

After making two distinct picks and checking whether the fridge door closes properly, then bustling at the sink with a towel, you trot back to the bedroom. Equipped. In the meantime, Yuzu has recollected his plushies from the floor, gently aligning them next to his pillow.

They’re all in their strictly defined place again. You enter just the second after he’s arranged them in the usual half-circle order, centered around his favorite, all-time friendly-eyed Winnie Pooh bear.

„Will you look at that,“ you plant your little kitchen conquests onto the bed, rousing approval noises from Yuzuru who sparkles right at the box and plate you brought along. The grouchy face dissolves, curiosity takes its place. His food reactions will always be the cutest to you.

„Strawberries!“

„From the market. Wasn’t too expensive.“

Freshly doused in the sink, plump and very ripe.

„And rice cakes!“

Truth be told, there couldn’t be a bigger comfort food on his list and you shamelessly exploit the very fact.

„Every competition has a victory meal. Here, fruits first.“

After plopping down on the mattress yourself, you pick up one, then two strawberries. Immediately, Yuzu’s little upturned mouth opens wide as if a tiger baby was yawning.

He chews more eagerly than you thought. If you pass him pretzel sticks while he reviews things on the TV, he barely eats one or two of them.

„I like these,“ he swallows, prying for the next fruit in your hand already. „Sweet!“

„Tastes best with cake,“ you rearrange your sitting position, making sure to park your cold feet next to Yuzuru’s very warm ones. His toes are readily brushing against yours, Yuzuru perhaps not even noticing they do. He’s too fixated on the little cakes. In all things he does— focus incarnate. He can’t help it.

„Yes, I wanna try!“

You rummage in the packaging you brought along, draw forth a first treat. A second one you set aside on the plate. Tiger baby opens his mouth even wider, in goes the first chunk of the rich delicacy. Lord have mercy on his stomach, it’s 11:15 PM. But what’s normal to him, anyways.

Ten more minutes pass. After the strawberry box is two thirds empty and three juicy rice cakes have embarked on their last journey, Yuzu looks a lot more content than before, even if his bedhead arguably makes him look like a mad scientist. Junior professor Yuzuru Hanyu, escapee from his genius lab that exploded in a blaze of smoke.

You take it as your task to brush the outlaw strands back into their place with your fingers after pulling out a wet wipe — those with the way too astringent citrus flavor— from your bedstand, cleaning your hands off the rice. It’s not like your hands aren’t sticky on the regular.

To your satisfaction, Yuzu looks like a swaying cat, nestled into his blanket. With no more stomach growling audible, gladly. You put the plate on the bedside table, lean forward to kiss his belly, and shoot him a fracture of an ambiguous gaze.

„So… Fancy getting even more stuffed?“

„Sure! Is it a surprise?“ Yuzu looks around, presumably searching for more food you brought along.

The pure soul.

„Well, we already had dessert.“

„Oh, right! But, what’s the food, then?“

A little pause follows. Yuzuru couldn’t look any more thrilled. You decide to go with it.

„You’re too innocent,“ you lower down your pants by an inch, thumbs demonstratively hooked into the hem. You raise your eyebrows into a question that he cannot miss. „If you want. You might wanna grab your spray first, though.“

Only the last part fully registers in Yuzuru’s expression that finally goes from curious to… sheepish. He caught on.

Asthma spray at 11:30 PM is a cue he’s gotten familiar with over the last four months. Not in a million years did he think he’d ever have to use it late at night. Whatever decision process is rattling through Yuzu’s brain right now, it’s a fast one, though.

„Ha— okay!“

„Alright, Yuzu.“

„Just once second!“

Food round number two, it is. You kick off your pants and underwear but make sure they don’t land any place where plushies are. Yuzu is already busy at the other end of the room, visibly at work with shaky hands, browsing the cupboard with meds next to the window.

Now that he’s double nervous, you curse your idea, but remind yourself of the last late-evening time Yuzu had his head between your legs. ‚I dunno, I was just concentrated‘ are the words that stuck with you after asking him how on earth he kept his breath for what felt like 45 seconds.

Whatever masochist devil has been driving him, it gave your boyfriend skills you never even knew were possible to have out of absolute nowhere. Not to mention how easily it distracted him from anything else in the world.

Maybe that focus is an effect easy to replicate, you think. Anything that can take his mind off the competition tomorrow is worth trying.

Carefully, you move over to the right side of the bed. Then, recline on Yuzu’s pillow — on his explicit wish two months ago, you meticulously keep that tradition — and feel surrounded by plushies already.

Back then, Yuzu insisted that he shouldn’t be the only one watching out for you when you’re having sex. And that the pillow just smells really good of your hair afterwards. So there you lay, feeling all kinds of horny. Given that Yuzu is already returning to the bed, swiping his hair off his forehead. Looking very refreshed, letting his breath play. Sexy.

And there it goes already. The I dunno, I was just concentrated gaze. You arrange your legs wide enough for Yuzu to settle in the middle, him still sitting upright. His hands are still shaky when they reach around your outer thigh, but his eyes don’t lie to you in the very least.

„Your breath alright?“

A little nod, but he doesn’t heed the question for any longer. There’s gladly nothing that his lung doctor can’t figure out. You count on that, but asking doesn’t hurt.

Meanwhile, Yuzu’s eager eyes are already drawn downwards. Getting bigger and bigger. The surprise he had anticipated in fact now dances over his face, flighty and polite, but nonetheless apparent to you. He’s smiling, and it looks shy in the light of the bedstand lamp.

„I, ah…“

It’s as if he hasn’t seen you naked before, every time. For whatever reason, Yuzu always reverts to virgin mode with his first glance. You admit it’s flattering and amusing alike, but also — leaves you with Hitchcock level suspense.

Yuzuru has proven himself to be an expert in summoning a beginner’s zeal, an almost childlikeness. That keeps you on your toes and promises an intensity that routine and pragmatic energy management could never give you.

After letting his eyes linger a little more, his lips become visibly impatient. He’s already licking them. You’d promised food, and he takes it seriously. That Yuzu’s fingers stroke rather weirdly at your thighs does not escape your attention either. They’re practicing.

„Help yourself, touch.“

The stroking ceases. Yuzu doesn’t hesitate to reach down with his left. How he touches you sends a row of tingles down your legs. His fingertips are amazingly dainty and soft. He explores. Then, soon keeps on caressing about, leans his head forward, all still from his seated position. It doesn’t take too long until he goes straight to getting you off with his right hand.

„This is, wow,“ he mumbles to himself, already immersed in rubbing your clit. Going in circles, taking his time. Alternating between index and thumb.

„Yeah. That’s the spot,“ you shift in the pillow, eventually finding a good position to relax. You exhale, focus on his hand.

„So smooth,“ Yuzu traces his joining left hand up and down your labia.

„Maybe someone wants a taste?“

You were right that he would forget practically anything else. The yoga mat worry brow is blown off his face. Substituted by— appetite.

„Not just maybe, actually.“

Spreading your legs a little more is invitation enough to have Yuzuru lower his head onto your pubic bone, tongue already searching for its favorite place. Your fingers gently interlace in his hair as soon as he starts sucking. Keeping his bangs out of his eyes.

How unafraid to bury his face he is you soon get to witness. You can feel the bridge of his nose glide from lip to lip, and the feathery light brush of his lashes at the base of your inner thighs.

Yuzu’s tongue has always been cheeky, but today, it feels particularly adventurous and slippery. He can’t help but fumble about with his hands simultaneously. Beginner’s zeal, you knew it’d come.

The bucking of your hips comes too naturally to be controlled. Nor does Yuzuru know just how to hold his head back from thrusting. This little shit. Whatever is in those rice cakes, it made him a new level of keen. Soon enough, his tongue has riled you up plenty, and his focused eyes have become entirely monotone. Only preoccupied with one thing and one thing alone.

Just how much he dedicates his attention has to be a thing for the books. You feel like blowing up and moaning like crazy at this point, but manage to at least puff out. He knows you’re way too close. There’s a little smile you feel in the way he eats you.

„So that mouth gets a cum filling,“ you twist your fingers out of Yuzu’s wild hair. It’s all tangled again. The return of the mad professor. He has all the space in the world to bop his head as much as he wants now. One, two, three plushies fall over and tumble around the mattress. He doesn’t notice.

The warmth between your legs has been growing ceaselessly. Now, ready to brim. With Yuzu’s agile tongue slipping back and forth over your clit in erratic intervals, you feel like losing your mind with every lick. The way his lips excite you gives off the lewdest sucking noises. All wet, and resolute like a chess player not to drop you off that high.

He keeps his laps consistent, leans in more, and eventually— tips you off the edge with a fast sequence of letting his tongue dip under the hood of your clit. And letting it stay there, all until your legs start twitching. You groan out.

Yuzu gets a big. Fat. Cum filling indeed.

Your breath goes short, you grab his shoulders. Growling, cursing. Trying to ride the wave, but the contractions catch you harder than you thought. You can practically feel how much you ooze out and ruin his face.

Bratty he is, Yuzuru forms his mouth all kissy and pecks your clit through every throb. Until the shockwaves subside, letting your shaking thighs off the hook eventually.

Too fucking intense. The surge of pleasure keeps on making your mind hazy long after your orgasm is over. To add fuel to the fire, Yuzuru rubs his belly, as if he just had two happy meals for the price of one.

Pulling off, his face is all bright and slobbery in its remaining smile. His lips are cum-glazed, and more than just plain sweat trickles down his nose. Nothing better than a facial right in front of twenty plushies. Who knew Winnie the Pooh himself would ever be eye witness to Yuzu’s sporty head game.

Friendly bear he is, it doesn’t seem to bother him. From unsuspecting comfort teddy on Yuzu’s lap 23/7 to live-action porn audience. First row, no popcorn though, but HD sound quality and claims to free spit. The guy is living his absolute best life, isn’t he.

„You… growling. That was pretty hot,“ Yuzuru says. His jaw is hanging all loose and most of his speech is slurred. Yuzu looks all satiated. In your mind, you pat yourself on your own shoulder. Boyfriend corruption: almost complete.

„Like being spoiled? I want you to clean that up.“

Yuzu squeaks out giddy in reply. A moment later, he goes back to lean down again, swallowing and licking up cum from your drenched, swollen lips. His slurping noises are indulgent, wet, and desperately slutty. He succeeds in cleaning you up, but keeps on messing up himself even more. Yuzuru delights in rubbing his whole face into your dripping pussy until his eyebrows are sticky, his lids and cheeks are damp, and you feel capable to get up from the pillow.

Despite not being underneath the blanket, you notice that your feet aren’t that cold anymore.

He sits on the bed like a mermaid, huddled close to you. Normally, he would visibly sort his thoughts like that, but now, all he does is blink and nuzzle up against you with his forehead.

Settling, Yuzuru doesn’t seem to know where to put his hands and you take it as a chance to pepper them with kisses. The back of the hand, the palms, the wrists. It calms you, and it calms him.

You feel entirely drenched, refreshed and relaxed at once. How Yuzuru cuddles against your legs makes your heart warm, and the moment is blissful.

One lavender steam cloud later, you feel like moving again. Maybe there are two restless people in this relationship. The thought of it is funny.

„We could go on a little more,“ eventually, you pat his head. „With something different if you want.“

„Do you still have energy?“ he asks. His breath is somewhat slowing already. It feels hot against your leg.

„More than before, actually.“

He sits up. Looks like you surprised him again. Little does Yuzu know how much he shakes you up.

„Really?“

You nod, twirling at his bangs now.

„I have an idea. So… you remember what’s been waiting in a box for a month.“

You can tell he knows exactly what you mean. No doubt he didn’t take very long to recall it, either. That tells you something.

„Can we use it?“

That answer was fast.

„It’s what I’ve been thinking.“

„We’ve been putting this off but I’m still curious.“

And your guess was correct. It’s definitely been on his mind.

„Yeah, you’re right.“

Promptly, you direct your eyes to the bedroom cupboard to your far left. The one containing various kinds of skating blades in slender packagings, tracksuits in dark colors, fan presents, and mail orders. Among them, a larger jet black box—

That neither Yuzu nor you dared to open given it was a product of a reckless button click at 2 PM.

Admittedly, after Yuzu passed you a way too expensive bottle of sake that he got for his birthday. Since he’s allergic to alcohol, somebody thought she could give it a sure try instead. Pouring $200 into the sink would have been the better option.

Said black box soon sits between the two of you, wide open to reveal the truth of what sake can do.

„Oh man. What have I done.“

That button click comes back to bite you big time.

„This looks, I think, realistic—?“

At least on the surface.

Of course, you drunk fool had to order the ‚sculpted, real-life imitation‘ version. You couldn’t be any more embarrassed. No more alcohol in this flat, that’s for sure. What else to do but take it in stride now that the box is already open, though.

„I uh, think so. At least with the veins.“

„It’s… it is really big.“

At least three times Yuzu’s flaccid size if you don’t hallucinate right now.

„I don’t know how I’m not gonna tear you apart. How many inches are these, 12? My drunk self is too ambitious.“

Maybe you shouldn’t have used that word and said ‚reckless‘ instead. Because ambition surely and habitually triggers a prancing and posing Shia LaBeouf shouting ‚do it!‘ in Yuzuru’s athlete brain. You can see it in his eyes and already regret thinking out loud.

„We can still try.“

„If that’s a good idea or not we will probably see,“ you begin to inspect the contents one by one up close. „I think I bought a weapon.“

„Now I know why they call guns a strap,“ Yuzuru equally peaks over the edge of the box, looking like his future just flashed before his eyes.

„Next time I pass the sake to your coaches or something,“ you end up pulling out the red harness kit that glaringly lays on top of the contents. All looking very adjustable indeed. „That’s what my midnight fantasy seems to look like.“

„Uh—huh!“

Yuzu snakes his hand into the box himself now. Pulling out a transparent, orange-pink 13 oz bottle with a bubbly-looking fluid inside. Gaudy stuff, but a generous amount.

„Mister Lube. My new best friend,“ he says, laying the bottle aside and then pulling off his black PJ shirt. Although he strips quite leisurely, you can tell that Yuzuru is a little tense in his torso. That you will attend to in a minute, you think. But beforehand, you let your eyes roam for something else.

„They probably have something to clean it with in there as well. Let me see.“

You find that even if you might have ordered all this pretty tipsy, the toy set does have its quality. Just before you want to ask Yuzuru to warm up, he visibly ponders, then cleans his pajamas off the bed to make space for a little area.

„If you don’t mind, I stretch my muscles,“ Yuzuru puts aside a couple of plushies, too, but keeps Pooh close, assuming his typical pre-training stances.

He knows himself. That’s good.

„Tell me if you need help for the thigh stretching.“

In the meantime, you ease into the red kit and arrange the box contents on the bed. There seem to be fifteen things going on at once. If this would be public in the slightest, you believe the two of you must look like a bunch of eccentrics to anybody who’d watch you.

Ten minutes later, Yuzuru might just be in Olympic shape, has downed almost half a liter of spring water in one go. You know that he could probably deliver a quintuple jump on the spot if he wanted. The strap-on is all assembled, clean, and you have stored away the practically empty box of sake sinnery.

„I’ll skate cross-eyed and cross-legged tomorrow,“ Yuzu stares right at your crotch, face buried in his palms. Only his eyes peek through the fingers. „Godspeed to my ass.“

You sure as hell won’t disagree. This strap is a threat.

„I don’t know why I had to order supersize out of all possible things. You need a prayer circle after this. Where’s Mister Lube?“

„Here, over here,“ Yuzuru passes over the bottle, shaking it.

„I’ll relax you as good as I can, okay. Before I get arrested for possession of weapons without a license.“

And annihilating Yuzu’s insides with that XXL dick that he sure as hell doesn’t just want halfway in. Lord have mercy. You can only shake your head at yourself for buying this.

„Honestly though. Does it really fit in?“

Yuzu leans his face toward your hip, now on all fours, taking the sight in. He still can’t believe his eyes.

„We’ll see. Let your body decide, not your pride okay,“ you poke the tip of the strap-on into his left cheek. Hoping that it takes away some of the tension, at least. „And you can still tap the mattress.“

„Okay. Tap the mattress.“

He nods quite avidly. Same protocol as always. No spoken safewords, only something that Yuzu can make use of with his reflexes. Speech? Nothing you can both count on as soon as horniness kicks in.

You tried that for the first two weeks and quickly settled for tapping instead. Especially because Yuzu likes to have fingers in his mouth every so often.

„I mean. You just did like five splits, didn’t you. Warm-ups always help. If your ankle doesn’t fall off?“

That mini workout was more than just impressive, in fact. And still, you eye Yuzuru’s notoriously injured foot. The slim little fella has a long history of recovery behind him.

„The ankle is decent, the usual stuff.“

„I wish we had a smaller toy to start out with,“ you scratch your head. That might be the one thing that’s been missing from the box. „We still have Mister Lube, anyway. Watch this,“ you pick up the orange bottle, flipping the cap open. „It’s actually scented! Worth ruining the bed if you ask me.“

On goes the fluid, you rub it all across the length of the dildo. Must be cherry flavor or something. Yuzuru sure makes big eyes.

„I knew I could count on Mister Lube.“

„Yeah, we use lots. And I’ll be very gentle.“

The cherry scent is gladly much less tacky than the bottle itself, not too artificial-smelling either. You squeeze out a second load and distribute it over the strap-on just to be sure. Yuzuru’s breath goes faster.

„Can I ask something beforehand?“

„Go right ahead.“

„I wanna suck first if you…“

Who knew. The lube probably made his mouth water.

Being honest, you think that it might be a good idea to get this going. Better than blowing his pretty back out right away and making a mistake, even if he is much less tense now.

„I don’t mind, Yuzu. You already have some chapstick on, right? Here.“

You level your hips to line up with his mouth more easily. You can tell that Yuzuru, after some heavy blinking, eventually braces himself. There’s nothing more telling than his tunnel vision plastered all over his face. His eyes, lids heavy, are hypnotized and seem darker. Yuzu’s bedroom gaze is the best in the world.

„Okay, I’ll start.“

A first kittenish lick. A second. A third. Then, brave lips — enclosing the tip. He audibly nips and swallows.

A few more licks, and repeat. Mister Lube seems to taste pretty good. You bless the shady company that manufactures the black box of sin for once.

You let Yuzu explore, pump his hand around the shaft, lick from all directions he fancies. Compared to his wrist, the dildo doesn’t really fall short in diameter, but with Yuzu’s face up close you are relieved it’s not a complete David versus Goliath match.

Soon enough, he musters the courage to open his mouth a little wider, cramming a bit more in than just the tip. You can’t deny you’re getting turned on again with the way he slurps and hums around your dick. With the minutes, he becomes bolder, moving his head.

Even if the lube gathers at his chin and seeps down to the bed, he keeps on sucking, now with a first pearl of sweat lingering on his forehead already. You’d never think it’d make him break a sweat. To be fair, he just did fifty jumping jacks in the warm-up.

„Want me to move?“

Two nods. You glide in, let your hips do the work how they want to. You don’t trust your online shopping choices, but your tempo, at least. Yuzuru is making all choked up noises trying to gobble up all the girth he gets, his fingers entangled in your harness. It keeps him in a steady place.

You can work from that, angle a few superficial thrusts into his mouth to get the saliva flowing. The blotch on your bed is already pretty nasty. The slow pace is apt enough to fill Yuzu’s mouth with spit bubbles that begin to foam out bit by bit.

After two more minutes of light back and forth, Yuzuru pulls off to speak.

„Please do it stronger. I don’t mind being hoarse.“

Not a second later, all he does is slurp up a very dripping shaft again. With difficulty jamming it in past the first few inches, but determined, anyway. You didn’t expect anything else.

Yuzu’s lips and eyes are all glossy by now. The portion of lube-infused spit has accumulated at his jaw already, soon to travel down to his throat.

Stronger, he says. Why not.

„Okay, get ready.“

„M—hm!“

An abrasive jab follows a shallow one. If it wasn’t for the lube, your dick would scrape right down his upper throat. But this way, the first dip goes in with sufficient slip and slide, not leaving Yuzu with too much dick in his neck for long. All your strap-on does is bounce right back.

What you do hear is Yuzu’s gag reflex… claiming its rights. Still understated, but nevertheless there. After three more thrusts, you decide to stay about halfway balls deep, watching Yuzuru squirm, even try to shove in about an inch more by pressing his head forward. His breath is clean and deep through his nose. You put a checkmark on the my-boyfriend-has-asthma list in your mind.

„You look good with a dick in your mouth.“

What is supposedly a ‚thanks‘ ends up as gargling and choking. Yuzuru starts getting wet eyes at this point. Even a little bow of his head is something that doesn’t slip past your attention. Mannered guy, isn’t he.

That praise makes him do the horniest noises is also something that you make a memo of. Along with seeing how it’s rendering him all aroused. You’ve seen those neck veins and red chin spots come out plenty of times to know.

A couple more thrusts are not a bad option, you decide. Although it seems that Yuzuru had the idea to hollow out his cheeks that very moment. The vacuum first makes your cock plunge in a little too fast than intended, then naturally pulls Yuzu’s head forward once you move your hips back again.

It’s why the second thrust catches him off guard, flattening his lips and making your dick slide into his throat with air going in. Yuzu ends up choking hopelessly. It doesn’t look like he’s retreating his head in the very least, however.

Instead, you feel his hands grab at your either hip to secure himself in place. A glance from above, slightly angled sideward, shows you just how hard and throbbing Yuzu’s own dick is, tipping against his stomach.

Once again, you make an impressed-my-dear face that he doesn’t overlook. His cheeks go hollow again and he keeps up the indulgent speed. Increasingly getting rougher and more pain-craving. Messier. Desperate.

Yuzu opens his mouth wider not to have his teeth get in the way. It’s serious business now. His throat makes the most disgusting, grunting noises. Oh. Shit. Yuzu’s greed and sloppy lips make your body burn up. Soreness is the very least he’s headed for.

„Wow, Yuzu. Wow.“

It’s not something you didn’t know already. This man is without a singular doubt a lunatic. You whisper more praises to him, your hands grabbing hold of his head to sustain the movement rhythmically.

Yuzu’s gag reflex has proven to only rebel every other thrust so you can pound away, at that time already giving up even the mattress that must be sopping wet to its core with Yuzuru drooling all over it. Too late for a towel altogether but fuck it.

Yuzu takes the choking well. He’s leaking spit all over, surrenders to your hands. Even if he doesn’t manage to deepthroat the entire length of the dick, he manages an awful lot of inches. By now, he’s gotten the hang of not letting too much air in. All while relaxing his muscles.

Beautiful hums, chokes, little whines. Too bad your phone isn’t close by. Recording this has to be your very next bucket list entry. You’re glad he asked about this.

You go on thrusting for a few more times until you feel your hips going tired. Once his nose starts getting all runny, you naturally slow down even more. Eventually, you help Yuzuru pull his head off. His lips are all puffy.

„B—woah,“ it’s all he can moan and splurt out, and you help him wipe the glob of saliva and snot from his chin with your sleeve.

Your pajama shirt might be ruined, but not as much as Yuzu’s tonsils. Who knows just how many times you were deep and fast enough to make them throb from all that friction. Seven, eight times? His food for tomorrow can be a light soup at best. Not even you were as sore after riding and sucking every last drop out of his dick last Monday.

You’re glad he has the rice cakes going through his system right now. Poor onlooker Winnie the Pooh is probably traumatized by now. There’s only so much crazy dicksucking a bear can handle watching. And still, he gazes at the two of you— in good spirits as ever, cheeks big and bright. In a way, he looks like Yuzu in this very moment.

„How you like it?,“ you softly caress his pinkish lips. „I need to know how many stars to leave on the website.“

It takes a few moments until he can form words again. His speech is fast. He’s still staring at the dildo.

„It was in so deep and, and on my tongue. The dick veins, I could feel them. They were like, like, it was massaging my lips. And I almost thought I could swallow it.“

You raise your brows. Lord knows how deep your cock was inside his brain, but he still picks these things up.

„Attention to detail. Nice.“

Maybe 4.5 stars are a fair deal. At least for throat fucking. The rest — remains to be seen.

„Did I do well?“

His eyes widen. The question is genuine. It’s not something you’d think he would ask. Whenever he trained, he would always rely on his own judgment.

„Ask yourself first, you were the one feeling it.“

That’s not the answer he expected, and he ends up getting red cheeks.

„I liked it,“ he stammers. „Was really hot.“

„It’s what I saw, too. Good job, babe.“

He’s blushing even more now.

„Ah— I think I tried my best.“

You smile and cup his slobbery face. So you’ve taken his throat virginity in the most spit-heavy way possible. He looks cuter than ever.

„Listen. You’re a champ. If I could, I would cum deep inside of you.“

„I think, that would be romantic,“ his wet lips break into an upbeat smile. Yuzu’s eyes get all crinkly.

„You bet.“

A big doting kiss for Yuzu’s forehead is the only thing your brain can conjure up at this point, so you briefly lean down to do it. Maybe Shia LaBeouf is not just exclusively at home in Yuzu’s imagination.

What you have to admit is that Yuzu’s overflowing athlete’s spirit has easily taken over your hips. You didn’t think you could move properly for that long. Maybe you still have some energy reservoirs left.

„And, and now?“

„I can stuff you with more dick. Up to you. Mister Lube didn’t run out yet. And if Pooh still likes watching.“

By instinct, Yuzuru’s hands snake behind his back to grip his ass, stroking what he knows is your delightful next target. You can tell by his eyes that there are a thousand scenarios going through his head.

„Pooh likes this… very much. He’s never seen something like that before. I think he is curious.“

It doesn’t take a Sherlock’s mind for you to know that he means— himself.

„I mean. I was surprised. If that monster fits into your little throat,“ you add, „anything is possible.“

That’s the final straw.

„I’ll do it,“ he says, moments later on all fours, face lowered and then rested sidewards on the bed, spreading his ass cheeks. Decision making when it comes to strap stuff is Yuzu’s forte, you jot that down in your invisible sex life journal. Not one bit of hesitation. By the looks of it, a very twitching entrance is waiting for you.

Testing period is over.

„Alright. I got something to drive home.“

Now that you think of it. If his ass is already only half as naughty as his mouth, you’ll need the help of a higher power.

„Shit. I think, it relaxes.“

At the expense of your mattress and blanket getting even more greasy with lube, you ease in the tip after massaging it into his sphincter. Yuzu’s ass still has to deal with that new sensation given how his leg muscles are going all bonkers. But indeed he’s grown receptive.

„Comfy like that?“

„B—big…“

„Attention, just a little tweak before I go on. Here.“

You softly press down on his spine with your palm entirely flat, and his back obliges immediately. His arch is leaving you breathless.

Yuzu’s head and chest are snug and soft against the bed while his ass is far, far up. He smiles seeing you venerate his back, he didn’t miss your reaction in the least. No surprise a third of your cock gets sucked into his ass just moments later. It caught you off guard.

Judging by Yuzu’s little yelp and his eyes rolling back, the way you went right into him has found pleasure. The bedposts creak a little because Yuzuru’s legs are shivering. As is his voice.

„I love it, I lo-, please, my, my ass!“

„Can I move?“

„Yes, please!“

The arch did the trick. You love your boyfriend. What follows is a slowly plunging series of rewards, ten, eleven times, pulling at his gripping asshole until it surrenders into going loose. Yuzuru has almost accommodated a third of the length you’re engraving into his ass. You’ll definitely keep using that brand of lube.

„Here, babe. I got a present for your prostate.“

Yuzu is making your favorite lawless face when you hit the spot, controlling the base of the dildo with two your fingers going around it like a cock ring. He looks as if someone just handed him a trophy too big to carry. From his perineum, a thread of lube comes dripping down with a squelching noise. The poor sheets. It’s another virginity taken.

In the meantime, Yuzu grabs hold of the duvet with unsteady hands. His entire torso is nothing but a shaky mess. So erratic. And sweaty. And docile. And beautiful. You want to award him plenty, your little present from above, the jittery boy underneath you.

Pounding away and making him grit his teeth is worth heading for a mean cramp, you don’t care. Watching how your cock is plowing in and out of him at jerky angles with the absolute lewdest, bubbling noises recompensates for anything.

Yuzu’s rolling eyes have become spaced out and teary, making him look like a crying saint about to enter the golden gates of heaven. Who knew angels had black hair.

With every stroke, his ass becomes every bit accepting to the point of almost glaring open to let you thrust in. Thank God. You compliment yourself on not falling short of the arguably lofty promise to relax him. Moaning Yuzu’s little ass is swallowing it all.

By the time, his rectum is going hollow and sticky, welcoming every move of yours by giving you ample right of passage. During some thrusts, you don’t even see his sphincter hold on to the dildo at all. His ass is almost as dilated as his loose mouth itself. Your thrusts are working on their own again at this point. What instinct is propelling you, who knows.

You love the sight and the happy squeals. You tease him with more speed. Not without effect, your hips lunge and aim deep all the more. You penetrate him far enough to start an excavation for ancient relics next Monday. With the tempo increasing, so does the chesty volume in his voice.

„It’s,“ he cries out, „in my belly! Ah! Ah, shit! Shit...“

You see Yuzu let go of the duvet with his left hand. It promptly darts way down to his abdomen where his fingers grope around.

„I can feel it,“ he whines, „It’s rubbing there, it’s a big bump!“

You sure won’t deprive your own hand from that sensation and reach right down, too. Which means leaning forward— and stuffing your strap even harder into his guts. Yuzu gasps out loud. Both your hands meet fondling about, cupping the sensitive area in search for the imprint of the dildo.

What Yuzu says is not understated. His slender little belly is all bulged out in the bottom quarter. Since he’s so thin, it’s almost scary how much your cock just dents him out and twists around.

„Jesus, Yuzu,“ you let your hand roam next to his, even lightly squeezing the area. It’s what really riles him.

What you thought was the maximum for him to take turns out to be nothing but a mere start. Yuzu is so obsessed to feel the bulge more that he starts bucking his ass onto your cock with the most unbridled voice cracks.

You can’t lie. His moans make your jaw drop. His usually so controlled body on the ice is now wrecking and writhing itself to get more dick.

A thin line of sweat goes on a pilgrimage down his spine already. He impales himself more, gyrates his hips more, whines out more. You wonder how he keeps it together and doesn’t spritz all his cum over the bed and the floor tiles.

It’s the sheer force of will. Always hungry for the next level. You can’t help but admire how enduring he is. And that’s just the first time.

Yuzu’s feet have become agitated on the sheets, responding to every thrust by dangling and swishing around. Yesterday, his right ankle was all stiff and even a bit swollen. Now, it’s moving all over the place. Looks like doggy style is putting all the tension off the ligaments. It’s something else you take deliberate note of.

After five more thrusts and hearing his whimpers getting all drawn-out, eventually, you retreat for a break, letting your cock rest on his left ass cheek. Yuzu inhales, gathering himself. He looks at you with big, glazed bambi eyes. Maybe even a bit incredulous.

„Am I, am I gaping?“

You don’t have to check twice to know.

„All lose. If you knew how far I can see inside of you. Hole new world.“

„Y/N!“

He can’t hold eye contact now.

„Naughty, huh. But I like what I see.“

Goddamn great ass. You firmly smack Yuzu squarely across his right butt cheek. He twitches, clenches, bites his lips more. They tremble.

„Ah! You tease!“

„Want me to put it in again?“

Wild nodding. Looks like Yuzu’s usual voracity on the ice does an easy, albeit not entirely seamless transfer to bed, too. He still ogles what is about to stretch him out again with due respect. He still can’t fathom something this massive was inside of him, you can tell.

Once you start moving again, you notice his feet and thigh muscles violently jerking. His prostate has gotten all sensitive. Probably all spongy and large by now.

You decide to angle yourself differently and take a deep breath. Impossible to draw this out any longer. From the vicinity of Yuzu’s pillow, you grasp the Winnie Pooh plush toy and maneuver it into his awaiting embrace. He holds it tight in an instant.

With impatient hands, you fumble around the bed for the lube bottle until you find it next to his right foot. Two, three, four generous squeezes onto his asshole, not very accurate at all. Several fine, oily traces end up trickling down his inner thighs. You don’t even bother closing the bottle properly anymore. Too much adrenaline.

„Grab those sheets and Pooh, Yuzu, grab hard.“

„I got it!“

„Time I fuck you up. If you’re ready?“

„Yes, make me cum, make me cum! Please break my ass,“ he’s whimpering. So badly. „I want it! I want it all inside.“

Mister Lube has a last job to handle.

Yuzu has crammed three fingers into his mouth once you get a hold of his hair and deliver the last hard movements. He takes the blows all babbling and sucking himself off. How his ass is not completely falling apart by now is a miracle of nature. Or maybe, just the blessing of his daily training.

The room is heavy with the scent of sweat and cherries. He’s loosened his core so much that sliding in is not a question of you avoiding a cramp anymore, but technique. You feel focused to zero in and not miss the sweet, tender spot. It makes him mewl the first time you push your dick tip right into it.

The second time, his eyes get big and fluttering.

„Please. Please, hurt me,“ he salivates, then eventually, grabs his plush harder. „Hurt me bad. I’m really begging you.“

Fast to oblige, you claw your hands around his waist and pull his body backwards. The ten nails digging into him are only the last needed set-up. The last jab comes in crisp, landing a severe and punctuated shock. Yuzu’s ass smacks up hard at your loins. The pain quickly snakes right up his spine and leaves his face contorted.

„Oh fuck…!“

Small, shaking Yuzu cums like fifty fireworks going off at once. Not even releasing his screams into the duvet really helps to mute out the heaviness of the first waves. You keep your cock right in place and let it buffer into his prostate at will.

Yuzu’s legs kick and tangle under you like pasta in boiling water. He cries and groans and curses, and cries out even more. You can see his entire back muscles at work now, going like clockwork. His moans each sound so ecstatic, it registers as a different language to you. He spirals far into his orgasm, sobbing, and it looks beautiful.

„Amazing, Yuzu.“

His semen lands all over his sternum and the sheets, shooting out in several bursts, one more pumping than the other. It’s almost as if all that strawberry juice converted nicely into a blotchy, white fluid.

His dick is still tensing up completely sensitive. Releasing cum, up until his legs stop going all over the place. Yuzu doesn’t let the sperm cool for twenty seconds that he already reaches down to pick it up, jerking his cock a last dozen times, only to bring to his mouth what his fingers collected. He sucks up all of it.

„Delicious, baby?“

„M—hm!“

„So nicely milked.“

His relished expression. You imagine that this must have been how the gods first tasted nectar.

While he licks away, Yuzu goes limp head to toe with you carefully pulling out your dick. Inch by inch. Not pulling. Only gliding.

Once you’ve removed the tip, he collapses into a sniffing, giggly puddle of serotonin. Crying, even when you lend him both your hands to lay his face into.

He’s so gorgeous.

Breathing hard, sweaty, drooling and messed up. His body is so steamy and loose, splayed out all the way before you. His entrance has turned all pink so beautifully. Hot. As. Fuck.

Most psychologists would envy you for being able to gaze this far into Yuzuru Hanyu’s innermost clenching being. How his ass is going to close until tomorrow’s competition, you don’t know.

Time to pray he won’t digest these savory cakes too fast. Then again, he didn’t eat properly at all. His body is probably soaking up all the fruit and rice in their entirety.

You pat his lower back gently, making sure to lay him down into a sleeping position already. Pooh is right by his side. Yuzu’s legs are still so dangly.

He’s really let go completely. You’ve not fucked his ass, but his soul.

You want to thank him for trusting you so much. Beside the shady black box manufacturer.

The bed is a glorious mess.

Removing the strap-on harness makes you feel just how loosened your own limbs have become, too. Come to think of it, this might be your new heavy-duty workout. None of your friends know you do this kind of cardio involving the best ass in the whole city as your personal trainer.

Yuzu’s butt has turned you into a drenched, wobbly homo sapiens that will probably look in the mirror by tomorrow and proclaim herself a bodybuilder from those sheer muscle burn gains.

When the two of you show up at the rink tomorrow, you both need hunky guys carrying you in by the armpits or something.

And the whole world will wonder how Yuzu’s wonky ankle magically recovered overnight but he can’t sit.

Changing the duvet at quarter past twelve with an unmovable Yuzu on top of it seems like a thing of the impossible. It’s soiled, it’s sweaty, it would probably make it to the first page if a reporter ever got hold of it.

But you take it pragmatically and opt for sleeping on Yuzu’s cleaner side of the bed intertwined. It’s surprisingly dry there. Big laundry day tomorrow, anyway.

The only thing you manage to do is reach for the window to open and to grab a glass of water from the bedstand to share. He’s chugging the remaining half down in one go. His hands? Oh wonder.

More than steady.

He calmed completely. After he puts down the glass, you scoot closer to him.

„Your foot — better?“

„Oh? I didn’t even think about it.“

He wriggles his left leg back and forth underneath the blanket, then concludes with a surprised face:

„It’s turning pretty well? I think you hit a nerve. Maybe you should split me in half more often.“

He shrugs. Yuzu’s serious face while saying that so dryly makes you laugh.

„Looks like it,“ you draw out the open lube bottle from beside you, finally closing the lid. „Do you… need a towel?“

„I just need you. I have to be disgusting for once.“

„I’ll scrape that all off tomorrow before we leave. Hot shower, five tons of shampoo. I’ll be breaking out the stuff you clean your skates with if I have to.“

That makes Yuzu chuckle. In fact, he beams a little.

„Sounds like something to look forward to.“

„I hope you can walk, anyway. Is it painful?“

Your biggest sorrow at this point. Taking his mind off was easy, but now he’s got boneless legs. Your conscience nags you for dicking him down out of all possible things.

„You have your weapon license now. I gotta admit… the last one…“

…was ass destruction 3.0, you complete his sentence in your mind. It’s nothing a normal human being could have stomached. „I’ll manage, though. I still feel my legs.“

„God, how does he do it.“

A smug „He’s Yuzuru Hanyu, that’s how, aw yeah!“ is what you imagine God’s answer to sound like. But instead, all you get is a little smile. Very well, from the little God in your bed.

„Pooh did this. When I squeezed him, I knew I could take it.“

He reaches to the middle of the bed. Five consecutive head pats for the bear plushie and Yuzu looks content already.

„Winning medals with just one working ankle is the same as doing it with a demolished ass to you, huh.“

„It’s not demolished, it’s improved and overhauled,“ he smiles. „Never felt any better. It was really good how you did this.“

It’s his strangest sport philosophy yet. But if you know one thing, it’s that Yuzu’s bizarre body hacks have gotten him the podium every time. You can already see him asking for another strap round before your mind’s eye. Before the next competition, at least.

„You honestly blow my mind.“

„And your dick, tomorrow night,“ goes Yuzu’s cheeky winner grin. There it is. Insatiable how you love it. You already feel the need to google ‚hip thrust strengthening exercises’.

Maybe, if science advances to that point one day, you honestly clone yourself so double your capacity. And so that you can spitroast him. Maybe you order another dildo from the website and pin it to the wall, anyways.

„Must be Mister Lube who did all of this.“

„I want to buy more of it tomorrow. Any other groceries we need, anyway? I’ll be cleaning the floor, too. I hope I’m not too worn-out after skating.“

„We’ll do one thing after the other, alright. There are still rice cakes left for breakfast, those will get you through the day.“

You’ve seen how much of an energy burst the cakes gave him.

„I really like those,“ he mumbles, then nuzzles into the pillow, sucking in your hair’s scent. Oh, it’s the moment you waited for. „Snickers diva… happy.“

A very cheery, puffy face slowly comes to rest beside you now, hair going in all directions. Infallible and ever-returning: Professor Yuzu’s explosive hairdo. Pooh is all clingy at his chest. A little worn from all the squeezing, but still with an amicable chuckle. You smile from ear to ear. It’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen.

You kiss Yuzuru’s little nose and lips until he’s making sleepy sounds. Either this is a late-night mirage created by your very moan-tested ears, or he is actually purring. You make sure the Pooh plush resting at his chest faces him correctly, then clear away the remaining strawberries, shut the window, arrange the blanket, put on your pajamas properly.

The humidifier whirrs in the background while tiger baby does one last big yawn before drifting off. In a matter of two minutes, maybe even less than that.

Just as you reach toward the bedstand to switch off the light, Yuzu’s hand curls into your shirt from behind. You turn, he is all dozed off. Not one leg fidgeting. However, talking in his sleep with his hand nestled into your PJs.

„Big hug please, Pooh mama.“

#figure skating #yuzuru hanyu #yuzuru hanyu smut #yuzuru hanyu x reader #yuzuru hanyu fanfic #figure skating fanfic #fs #figure skating smut #sub!yuzuru #dom!reader #treats for you #original content

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staywritten · 4 years

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All In│Bang Chan «Chapter TwentyTwo»

Synopsis: After a messy break up your sophomore year, you decided that the best thing for you was to finish off your college career single. You wanted to focus on yourself, grow as a person and finish off your degree strong. There’d be plenty of time for love after college. But after losing your camera you become friends with the seemingly perfect boy that threatens to ruin your plans.

Genre: SocialMedia!AU, College!AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Smut

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*Chapter Rated Mature, contains smut

Written Portion of the Chapter Below

It took absolutely everything in Chan to come to your apartment. You invited him but it still felt like he was somehow violating your space. That this was the sole thing he’s been wanting and yet it felt so surreal to get this far. There were only two possible outcomes after he left here. It was either he continued to be someone you allowed in your life or he wasn’t. That in itself was nerve wracking. He took a deep breath before finally knocking on your apartment door.

Momo swung the door open, glaring at him. “Chan.”

“Hi Momo… it’s been a while”

“I honestly could have gone longer without seeing you” she sighed letting him in. “But if you’re here to just break her heart some more, I’ll save you the trouble.”

“I’m not...I’m trying to make things right…” he looked down fiddling with his hoodie sleeves. “I just want her to be happy…”

“I’m serious Chan...I’ve never seen her as happy as she was with you...but I’ve also never seen her so heart broken as she is now…” she pressed her manicured finger into his chest. “Fix this.”

“All I can do is beg for her forgiveness”

“She’s in her room...I’m going to dance practice” Momo grabbed her bag “Good luck”

Chan looked at your door, his hand hovering over it before falling back to his side. He didn’t really know what he was gonna say, his only plan was to answer any question you had and try to be as upfront with his feelings as possible. But he knew in the back of his mind that there was a strong possibility that it just wasn’t going to be enough, that he wasn’t going to be enough and this could be the last conversation he had with you and that in itself terrified him.

After what felt like an eternity the door opened, Chan’s hand falling back down to his side again, never finding the courage to knock. “H-How’d you know I was here?”

“Momo said she was gonna get the door a while ago…”

“Sorry...I got nervous…”

You nodded “It’s ok…” you stepped aside letting him inside your room, and gesturing for him to have a seat on the bed. “We needed to talk...I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you...I just...I wasn’t ready…I needed to organize my thoughts”

“No, I’m sorry. If I had just been upfront about everything this wouldn’t have happened.” he bowed. “I’ll answer anything”

“Chan I ran away from you instead of letting you talk. I’m at least partly to blame” You hugged yourself, gaze falling to the ground.

His eyes widened hearing you can him Chan, it’d been such a while since he heard you say that. It was so unfamiliar off your lips. You were still distancing yourself from him. He nodded “Mistakes were made… I don’t have any excuses to offer you… I’m just trying to be honest...I want to have what we had before...I wanna make you happy again”

“What is Rosie to you…?” You didn’t know if he knew that Rosie reached out to you and gave you her side of the story. After your talk with Rosie, and Changbin you realized they were right. Chan wasn’t the kind of person to purposely hurt you. It did seem like a genuine misunderstanding. Perhaps it was self sabotage, like it was so unbelievable that you were happy in a relationship that the moment something wasn’t perfect you fled. It wasn’t fair to him and it wasn’t fair to everyone that put up with you. You already knew your decision about Chan before he even arrived but you needed to hear him say it.

You needed confirmation.

“Rosie was…” he sighed “No, Rosie is one of my best friends, especially growing up. We met in primary school and were friends all the way until graduation. Sometime during my freshman year of highschool feelings developed and we just kind of ended up dating. We never really had a talk or anything about it, things just progressed naturally. I did like her a lot and at the time I’m sure I could have called it love. There was no reason to break up until graduation. I knew I wanted to move to Seoul, and Felix was gonna join me here in a few years.” He fiddled with the sleeves of his hoodie, looking up at you sincerely. “Rosie was gonna stay in Sydney she wanted to be a singer there and already signed to a company”

You nodded taking in his story. “Why didn’t you break up when you moved?”

“I guess we thought we’d make it work? When I first got to Seoul I was overwhelmed, there was culture shock, a huge workload with classes and the swim team. I even had a part time job. I barely even spoke to Rosie, she had a career. We’d talk occasionally but there was never an urgency.” he gave you a small smile. “I don’t think either of us were that invested in our relationship. But when I went back home to see my parents me and Rosie would pick up where we left off, we’d act like a couple again filling each other in on lost time. That kind of thing worked for us.”

“You said before, you guys were on a break… When did you guys decide that?”

“Sometime during my sophomore year I told her I wasn’t able to come home for her birthday and she told me not to worry about that anymore, that she didn’t want to pressure me. She was the one who suggested the break, said there was a guy she was starting to get close to but wasn’t sure if it was more than friendship.” he laughed “It was selfish but we both decided that it was good for us. Honestly neither of us wanted to deal with the guilt from talking with other people but we were cowards and didn’t want to break up properly.”

“How is that fair to anyone? It’s like you have one foot out the door in every relationship… This other person is all in and you guys are just playing with them, because if it doesn’t work out you both had a trump card” you hugged yourself “It’s cruel to date someone and make them think that they’re your number one when they’re actually just on a wait list”

“I know that now… I promise we didn’t think of it like that… We were just trying to spare each other's feelings… I think we both thought the other was in love and the only thing in the way was distance but it was more than that… But you’re right that whole one foot out the door thing...it was the reason why me and Rosie both failed with other people.”

“What are your feelings for her now?”

“She’s still a great friend, we’re both busy with life so we only keep up through instagram. I don’t regret my relationship with her, but I do regret not ending it properly in the beginning. We could have spared a lot of people's feelings. We broke up officially right before I went back to Australia.” he gave you a sheepish smile. “She has a boyfriend that she was hesitant on living with because of the guilt and I’ve never seen her so happy.”

“Does he know about this?”

“When I went to visit her we both talked to him and apologized. It took a little bit but he understood…It was the mistake of two very immature kids who held on to a memory, and ran from our feelings…”

You stood in front of him with a pout on your lips. “Very selfish, immature kids…”

“Very very selfish” he looked up at you and held your fingers, as gently as possible, gauging your reaction. It was the first physical contact he had with you in so long. He missed your warmth, how you felt in his hand. How you immediately calmed his rising anxieties.

“How do you feel about me? Was I just a fling? Was I just another person you were trying out while waiting for Rosie?”

“No...you were never a fling...I never meant to fall so hard...so fast, but I know I love you.” h e looked down at your intertwined fingers, rubbing your hand softly. “The first time I saw you with Hyunjin I thought you were so beautiful… It was only for a moment you were waiting for him outside the gym but i just couldn’t stop thinking about you… When we finally started talking because of your camera i was happy enough… I could be happy with just a friendship, but then I-” he stopped himself to look at you, to gaze in your warm eyes that gave him the courage to continue. “I couldn’t stop imagining you by my side, thinking about you when I went to sleep...You were my first thought when I woke up…I never felt like that before”

Your frown turned into a small pout. All the time lost and heartbreak could have been avoided had you two just communicated better. If your first instinct wasn’t to run,if you didn’t let your past trauma dictate your present. Yugyeom took a lot of things from you. You weren’t going to let your pain from him take away your present happiness anymore. “I love you too” he gently tugged pulling you on his lap and cupping your face, his thumb tracing over your bottom lip.

“I’m so sorry for all the trouble and heartbreak I caused you… You have to know it’s my worst nightmare to hurt you.”

“Don’t do it again…” you whispered against the palm of his hand, leaning into his touch.

“You forgive me?” his voice barely a whisper.

“I’m not gonna hold your past against you. After talking to you...and to Rosie...I’m ready to forgive you. But you have to be all in… No backup plans…no cards up your sleeves” you made him look into your eyes, squishing his face in your small hands.

“I’m all in” He brushed his nose against yours, smiling brightly. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

You laughed and nodded “It almost sounds silly to hear at this point.”

“I’m done with ambiguous relationships” he smirked “I want to be very clear with what we have… Can you say it for me?”

“Yes, Chris. I’ll be your girlfriend” you giggled as he pulled you into a deep kiss, his fingers tangling in your hair.

“I missed you so much…” he mumbled against your lip. “I’m not letting you go again...I promise…” his heart fluttered seeing your smile brighten, he could practically see the sparkle in your eyes. He chuckled as you tried to chase his lips every time he pulled away.

“If you missed me, then kiss me” you pouted in frustration, whining when his lips were always out of touch.

His eyes raked over your face, the little scrunch of your nose, the furrow of your brow, how your pout deepened. His thumb traced your features slowly. “My gorgeous babygirl…” he whispered against your skin.

You couldn't help but feel so exposed as he just stared at you, like he was trying to memorize every feature. It honestly made you feel so vulnerable. “Chris….stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” his smile turned into a playful smirk. “How am I looking at you?”

You caressed his cheek, your eyes softening at his gaze. “Like I’m precious…”

“Because you are…” the moment the words left his mouth he hid his face in your sweater.

“Chris…” you brought his chin up to you, your nails running through his curly hair. “Make love to me…”

He pulled you down with him, rolling on top as he peppered your faces with kisses. His warm fingers running down your side and pushing your night shirt up. “My beautiful girl…” He nipped at your lips, cupping your breast from under your sports bra. You shivered under his touch as he made quick work of your shirt, tossing it behind him. “Stop~” he groaned as you covered your chest, shrinking yourself the moment he took off your bra, leaving you in your panties. “Lemme see”

You huffed pushing him away with one hand. “No, I’m too naked and you’re fully clothed.”

“Then undress me” his voice laced with teasing.

“Close your eyes” you warned, waiting for the moment he closed his eyes before you took off his shirt. Your fingertips lingering for a moment too long on his strong abs. Your eyes watching the slightest movement of his body as he took in a breath. He peaked an eye open to watch you follow the rigids of his abs down toward his belt loop. While working on undoing his belt you looked up from the feeling of being watched. “Hey you’re supposed to-”

He silenced you with a deep kiss, smiling against you. “How could I…” he smiled brightly, placing his hands on top of yours helping you get the belt off. “I don’t wanna miss a second of you…” his expression was just so soft, so gentle. His little butterfly kisses working down your body, as he occasionally stopped just to maintain eye contact with you, making you squirm before you shut your eyes in embarrassment. He chuckled watching you get shy. “God I missed you…” he pressed a kiss against your panties, his tongue teasing you from the outside.

“Chris…” his name a prayer on your lips, only encouraging his teasing.

Slipping your panties down your leg he returned to your core, hooking your thighs over his shoulders

You whimpered feeling his tongue dive in. Your back arching against the mattress “Chris you don’t have to-Ah” you gripped the bedsheets harder.

“I want to…” he gave you the softest puppy dog pout “I want to make you feel good… I want you to only think of me…” his dark eyes watched you, making sure this was ok “May I?”

You nodded, breathlessly giving him permission to continue. From how he held you, to how his tongue flattened against all the right spots you were at his mercy. He made sure to work you over with his fingers, letting you ride out your orgasm. Your vision, blurring from the pleasure.

He left kisses back up your body, his full lips covered in your slick as he kissed you. You deepen the kiss, holding him as close as you could. “I need you…” you begged. “Please Chris…”

“I love you..” he cupped your face before kissing your nose, your cheek, your throat. “You have me Baby girl…” he rubbed himself against you, slowly pushing himself inside. Letting you take him inch by inch, slowly finding his rhythm. He never broke eye contact with you as he moved faster. He spoiled you with sweet kisses as you held on to his shoulders, your nails dragging down his back as you held on to him.

And as much as he brought you immense pleasure while making love to you. The things that really got you were his little giggles when he’d catch your smiles, the way his free hand would always find yours to hold your hand and give you reassurance. How his kisses always managed to taste like watermelon juice.

“I love you so much Christopher…” you whispered between moans, holding his face closer to you, his lips ghosting yours.

He buried his face in your neck, pressing a kiss at the base of your throat. “Please don't’ let me go again…” his hand gripped your intertwined fingers as he reached his climax, you following right behind him. Despite him cumming he continued to pump you a few more times, each one becoming lazier than the last. “Stay with me…” he whispered more so to himself, not intending for you to hear him.

“I’m not going anywhere…” you brought his lips back to yours in a sweet chaste kiss. You two definitely weren’t perfect, and mistakes were made. There was no telling that your relationship was going to be perfect from now on. But some things were worth taking a gamble on. He was worth trying for. You weren’t gonna run away from this one.

To be continued…

That was a lengthy chapter, but thank you guys for being so patient while waiting for the update. I was dealing with a lot of bugs with the app and finally managed to get through it. There’s only two more chapters of this series left

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julemmaes · 4 years

Note

“What are you smiling about?” Prompt for acotar, Nesta and Cassian❤️✨

You fucking tease

Cassian and Nesta Archeron modern au

“What are you smiling about?”

Hope you like it cause I’ve had so much fun writing it and it’s kinda different from what I’m used to write so, yep. I don’t think it’s “complete” so feel free to send other prompts if you’d like a part two. I’ll gladly write that too;)

edit: part two is here and it’s just plain smut, if you wanna read it:)

Word count: 2,132

Nesta was having the best day of her life.

Normally she would have passed in front of all her colleagues with that cold look and that calculated impassive expression on her face, but today she couldn't stop smiling, showing her perfect white teeth. She was also tremendously distracted, too excited by the news she had just received and the fact that her boss had given her the rest of the day off to celebrate. Perhaps that was why while she hurried to her office she almost tripped over one of the interns, who apologized immediately noting who had bumped into him. Nesta smiled more widely, apologizing in turn, and the boy went pale.

Once in her office, she quickly took her things and sent a message to Cassian, warning him that they were going out for dinner that night and that she had some good news to share. The message was read immediately, but she received no immediate response, as she normally did with her husband, which caused her to frown. She shook her head, grinning, thinking he must have been with a client.

She greeted her secretary, who, having recovered from the woman's ambiguous behavior, waved back.

She walked out of the building and raised her hand to stop one of the hundreds of cabs that were parked in front of her office and once she was sitting down and after giving the address to the driver, she picked up the phone again, to check if Cassian had answered. He had not.

Not wanting to dwell too much on why her husband ignored her, she decided to open the group chat with her sisters.

Biiig news coming! Wanna go out tomorrow night for drinks?

The answers of both of them didn't take long to arrive and Nesta felt a wave of affection towards her little sisters. They had always been very supportive and caring of each other and every time something good happened, after their respective husbands, they were always the first to be told everything. Their relationship had never been perfect, but they had always been there for the big events and Nesta wanted to shout to the whole world what had just happened.

From Feyruh: Oh my! You got promoted?

From E-lame: I told you you'd get the promotion. I'm free after seven.

Nesta simply answered with a smiley face to Feyre and told them both that she would pick them up after she left work. They then talked about this and that and only when the cab stopped and the driver turned towards her did she realize that she had arrived at her destination. She paid the man and made a quick run to cross the street, immediately entering the bright studio with the neon sign reading "Night's Brothers". As soon as she entered she saw Amren at the counter and the girl gave her a confused and worried look.

"What on earth happened to you girl? You look like the joker, god." Nesta started laughing, as she couldn't help but smile. Amren seemed to shiver at the sound, "No, seriously-" then she added under her voice, "-are you under the effect of any acid?"

"No, you idiot." Nesta chuckled as she sat on the welcome couch, crossing her legs. "I've been promoted," she said quietly, unable to keep the emotion in her voice.

Amren opened her mouth wide, getting up and going to settle down next to her friend. "Are you serious?" Nesta nodded, almost squeaking. "It was about time they realized your talent and acted on it." They exchanged a quick hug and then Nesta asked her how much more Cassian had. She couldn't wait to tell him.

" He should be done in half an hour with the client and then he has a couple of girls for piercings so I don't know how much longer he's going to be." Amren explained to her, getting up to check their calendar. Nesta puffed, making a grimace and interrupting her joyful motion that had been going on for hours now.

She sighed, getting up in turn and heading for the exit, " Alright, could you tell him that I'm already at home and that I'll be waiting for him at 8:30, please? Amren nodded, waving goodbye, and then Nesta walked to the right just to stop me two doors away from the tattoo studio.

Cassian and Rhysand had moved into that apartment right after high school and when Rhysand had moved out, going to live with the Archeron sisters to spend more time with Feyre, Nesta couldn't stand the constant nocturnal make-out sessions and exasperated she had asked Cassian if he could host her until she found a place to stay on her own. How Elain managed to survive in that house for another four months was still a mystery to the elder sister.

After a few weeks of living together, Nesta had discovered that Cassian was one of the neatest and organized people she had ever met. He never brought girls home when she was around and respected her personal space, something completely unknown to Nesta, who had only ever lived with her sisters. They had bonded so much and became best friends in a very short time. Not that they had a bad relationship before, but now it was much stronger. When after two months Cassian had asked her how much longer she was planning to stay, she had panicked, thinking that he had grown tired of having her around, and had told him that she had found a place not too far from her office and that she would be leaving soon. Of course, it was all lies, but Nesta will never forget the hurt and sad expression that had overwhelmed Cassian. After two days she had been forced to tell him the truth, regretting having done such a thing for no reason, and had never seen the boy so happy as when she had told him she would have to stay for at least another month. Cassian had hugged her and spun her around in the air, thrilled by the news, and told her that she could stay for the rest of her life if she wanted to. Nesta had started laughing and then Cassian with her and in one way or another, they had ended up kissing.

The rest is history.

She set foot in their apartment and let go of an excited laugh.

She would finally work on her own and could finally translate the books she wanted and approve the projects she preferred and not just reread drafts on drafts on drafts every day. She took off her shoes and pulled her bra off her blouse, unbuttoning her pants and letting her hair fall on her shoulders in a hairstyle that didn't pull her head.

She turned on the TV, put on a music channel and began to dance, singing whatever song passed by. She came into the kitchen shaking and shouting the chorus of the brand new song of a band whose name she couldn't remember. She took a bottle of wine and poured herself a glass.

"A toast to myself." She whispered, raising her glass, "You did it."

She went wild for a little while longer and after the second glass, she decided that it was better to go shower and be prepared for when Cassian would return.

***

She had just got out of the tub when she heard the door close a bit abruptly. She looked at the clock on the sink cabinet and saw that it was eight o'clock. Making a small grimace, she realized that she had taken a bath for an hour. She heard Cassian calling her name and didn't have time to open the bathroom door, which opened wide, making her take two steps back.

Cassian grabbed her wrist, stabilizing her, "Sorry, I didn't think you were in here."

Nesta shook her head and was about to jump on his neck when she saw he had a wrinkled expression. She placed one hand on his arm, holding the towel around her with the other, " Everything's okay?"Cassian sighed and closed his eyes. "One of the last two clients seemed to be a bit too comfortable, it bothered me a lot."

Nesta nodded, knowing exactly what he was talking about. It wasn't the first time one of the boys' clients had taken advantage of the situation - probably getting pierced in intimate places - and made her husband uncomfortable. Fortunately, this hardly ever happened, but there were always those few exceptions, and once a year he would find special clients.

Nesta approached Cassian, moving her hand from his shoulder to his cheek and stood on her toes to give him a chaste kiss on the lips. Cassian wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her, running his tongue over her lower lip. Nesta moaned slowly and broke away, smiling still holding him.

"What are you smiling about?" Cassian asked, kissing her on the nose and pulling away shortly afterward to start undressing. Nesta leaned against the door jamb, holding the towel to her chest and admiring the sight. Nesta shook her head still incredulous after all these years that the man in front of her was her husband. "So?" he insisted once he entered the bathtub.

"They promoted me." she said as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

Cassian, who was washing his hair, stopped and looked at her with his mouth open before a bright smile took over his face. He got out of the tub, dripping water everywhere, and took her by her waist, lifting her up and letting the towel slide off her.

"I can't believe it," he said to her laughing, looking at her face with eyes shining with emotion, "God, I'm so proud of you," he snickered and put her down, pushing her towards him once more and kissing her deeply. Nesta laughed in the kiss and Cassian was forced to pull away.

He put his hand behind the back of her neck and pulled her to him, causing their lips to collide again and again and again until both were panting and Cassian's hand that was not busy holding Nesta close to him had found its way to her fine side and now he was holding her tight enough to make the girl moan.

At Nesta's cry Cassian pulled away slightly, pushing his forehead against hers to catch his breath. The water was still flowing behind him and when he stepped back to get into the tub, he pulled her with him. Her bare chest collided with his and they both held their breath as they touched.

Nesta gasped and shook her head, detaching herself from him and interrupting whatever they were about to do. "I've just washed, I can't take a shower again. And you should hurry because I made a reservation at our restaurant and we should be there in twenty minutes." she smiled at Cassian, who was still breathing frantically and held his hand on her waist, too close to her breast. She looked at him from under her eyelashes, letting him understand that they couldn't waste any more time, even though his thumb was now caressing her right breast and she was shivering at the thought of what those hands could do in other places.

Cassian had to clear his throat before speaking, "You're telling me I have to take care of this-" he pointed to his evident length with a movement of his chin, "-alone?" his voice was still hoarse. His eyes darkened as they quickly scanned her naked body. When he looked at her face again, her throat dried up and Nesta swallowed loudly, every trace of fun disappeared.

Nesta approached him with her gaze fixed on his lips and Cassian smiled slyly. She pointed a finger to his chest, sliding it down, towards his abs and then to his hips, reaching the base of his clear excitement. Cassian pushed his hips forward, trying to get touched where he most wanted, but Nesta grinned and walked away, giving him her back. His hand slipped away from her skin and Nesta immediately missed that touch.

She came out of the bathroom swinging her hips, while Cassian mumbled "You fucking tease."

Nesta chuckled, stepped back and stood by the bathroom door and said, "If you can wait till tonight, I'll show you just how much of a tease I can be." and then she winked at him.

He heard Cassian grunting in frustration as he put on the black lace panties he had given her a few months earlier, the ones she knew for sure would drive him crazy.

Oh yes, they would have so much fun that night.

acotar tag list (if you want to be added just let me know in the comments or sending an ask:))

@tottenhamboys20

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cadomoisspokenfor · 3 years

Text

Legion Rewatch Notes,

Chapter 5:

Everything You Wanna Be

Pre-amble: Farouk’s showing David how to use (and how he thinks he should be using) his powers. There’s a lot of self-absorbed moments from David, and as we know from future episodes Farouk desire is for David to have the same God complex he does. It’s likely he’s attempting to push him down that path all throughout the ep. It even culminates with him attacking Amy just like he did in s2. Only he doesn’t actually end up killing Amy here, though if I had to guess... he would’ve if the others weren’t on their way. Farouk sees killing Amy as “setting David free.” He’s trying to make David hate her (hence forcing Amy to reveal her secrets) so that he’ll start to see the world the way Farouk does. Hypocrites, liars, cheats. “The world will never respect us, therefore we deserve to be as selfish as we want.” Sound familiar? I think David’s actions are explained by Farouk trying to gradually instill these thoughts throughout the episode.

(Post ep addition, pretty sure I was right)

His actions here could be interpreted as more attempts to be helpful, just poorly approached. He tells Melanie he met her husband. His face looks smug, but he could also be smiling cause he thinks she’ll be happy about it. He does look confused when she walks away, as if he’s not sure what he said wrong. Alternatively, Farouk encouraged him to be callous, but after he said it his empathy kicked in and he wondered if maybe it was too mean.

David seems more at piece here than at any other point in the show, and this despite just getting Kerry shot by targeting the wrong person.

Syd seems very concerned about Kerry. The first thing she tells David is that they stopped the bleeding. David then cuts her off from going into what they discovered on their mission.

Small addition: what was Syd gonna tell David about the mission? What was she gonna say they may know now?

“I’m The Magic Man.” Very Shadow King of David to give himself a prestigious nickname.

Another moment of David trying to overcome Syds condition for his own desires. It’s still possible he thinks Syd wants this too. And if the latter’s the case, then it’s also another incident of David trying to be helpful and coming off as creepy unintentionally. From his perspective, he can finally give everyone what they want. What he thinks they want (And they’re all gonna owe him for it).

“It’s all an illusion. I see that now. Why’d I fight so hard?” “They’re signals, that’s all. Impulses sent from nerve endings. Electricity in the brain. Real, fake, it’s all the same.” ~Is that what one has to believe to properly understand the astral plane? Is there no way around solipsism for powerful psychics? Or is it just Farouk’s influence?

Syd is the first one to go in for the mouth to mouth kiss.

Cary seems to mistrust David a little bit this episode. Or at least be apprehensive about him. When Melanie says he could bring Oliver back he stays quiet and looks to Kerry. Melanie also looks to Kerry and seemingly understands his apprehension. Kerry getting shot happened specifically because David intervened. At least, that’s my interpretation of the subtle acting there.

Cary also told Melanie the episode before not to get her hopes up. That could also be what his look meant.

David’s stated multiple times he cares more about Amy than anything. Now he’s confident in his powers and Melanie’s STILL trying to keep him from going. That might be why the David side of this mind-meld goes along with the coming cruelty.

I think David’s definitely a little mad at Melanie for still telling him he can’t save his sister. I guess the connection is they both have someone they want saved, and if Melanie won’t let him save Amy, then he’s not exactly motivated to save Oliver.

Syd makes fun of Melanie's sadness about Oliver. “How long has he been in there? The astral- whatever 🤔🙄😴?” She was more empathetic when she wasn’t around David.

When Melanie says Oliver’s been lost for “21 years” Syd’s disposition changes. It looks like she maybe reconsiders her mean girls approach, a pang of guilt probably.

David seems to also be making fun of her a bit. I guess thinking about it, Lenny does always tell David not to trust them. The whole of Summerland I mean. Maybe David’s taking her advice on them since she did help get him out the astral plane. Or maybe Lenny’s just exerting more control in those moments.

Everyone in the room picked up on Davids hostile stance. I think... perhaps David’s reviling in the sense of power he feels right now. He no longer feels the need to listen to anyone but himself. With his powers, he can do whatever he wants. This is all by design, Farouk wants him to experience this specific feeling. It all go towards his goal of turning David into someone like him. A power broker with a God complex.

Despite Kerry being the protector in their relationship, Cary always end up taking on her wounds anyways.

The first “Who teaches us to be normal when we’re one of a kind.” Followed by “Promise me if you get lost, we get lost together.”

She says the latter fresh off of hearing Melanie's story about Oliver, who got lost and left Melanie alone. She also says it off the heels of discovering Davids past and his previous violent incidents. All throughout her journey last episode Ptonomy was trying to convince her that David was mentally unwell. Therefore “lost” in this since could mean both literally lost as in lost in the astral plane, and metaphorically lost as in losing your mind. And in combination with “who teaches us to be normal”, Syd’s essentially saying, “I’m no stranger to regretful past incidents. Just take me with you if the cookies start to crumble.” David would not end up taking her with him. Not that she wanted to go by that point anyways.

Additional note: This is the first recounting of Syd’s big mistake. Though, based on her tone, it seems like she knows what she did? Later in the series she’ll justify it more and twist it to place herself in more of a victim role. But here... the story is framed like an admittance.

David doesn’t want to leave without the others, Lenny convinces him otherwise.

It’s unclear when Lenny full takes over David. David’s had maniacal moments before that point, but not that bad. And the personality he shows in the D3 raid seems closer to his personality when talking to Amy in their old house later. That is to say... not his personality. He’s fully taken over by Farouk in the house, and scared out of his mind. Though... it’s still possible he just doesn’t want Amy to be hurt. Even before he and Farouk started merging, David was no stranger to remorseless killing. In ep 1 a D3 guy grabs him by the neck, the camera pans, a loud SNAP is heard, and suddenly David’s further down the path. No D3 guy in sight. And as pointed out in my notes for previous episodes, he does compulsively keep secrets even before s2. All-in-all, it being ambiguous is definitely the point.

David intentionally left earlier than he said he would. Summerland was clearly preparing for the raid, but Lenny convinced him to leave them behind. Everyone’s trying to help David, but Lenny keeps isolating him, and encouraging him to be cruel. And because of the situation with Amy, he’s more inclined to listen to Lenny than anyone at Summerland.

BIG NOTICE: Ptonomy says, “You don’t think I have a sister. Or a girlfriend. Or a mom?” Because of the next episode, we know he lost his mom when he was little. If he’s stretching the truth about her, maybe he’s stretching the truth about the girlfriend and the sister. He might just be frustrated with all the trouble around David and is putting forth any and all arguments to try and get the others to see reason, whether or not it’s relevant to his actual life. Like Devils advocate.

Ptonomy gets real harsh this scene. “This war is bigger than some guy named David and his sister” is probably relevant for future episodes. But making fun of Melanie's Oliver grief? It’s starting to feel like everyone’s doing it at this point. And she’s very offended by it.

Syd very sweetly says, “He found a way for us to be together. A place.” It meant a lot to her. Remembering the white room puts Syd in a certain mood, as discussed below.

Syd’s been acting like this all episode, or post-white room at least. She’s “love drunk.” “All animals need physical contact to feel love.” While that’s not exactly accurate, Syd’s first experience with non-power-activating touch is very impactful. But even despite this she’s not completely impenetrable. After the couch scene earlier, the affects started to wear off. She seemed worried looking at David as he flanked Melanie like a predator. And she pulled back on her cruelty after hearing how long Oliver had been lost. But this scene is after she’s had another hit. And similarly to the couch scene, she pulls back after hearing Melanie’s concern. This pattern will continue in later seasons of the show.

ALSO ALSO, as noted in the previous episode, David’s life falling apart pre-clockworks was in part because of bad influence from his friend “Benny.” And now in the present he’s making tons of dangerous decisions again because of the bad influence of his friend “Lenny.” In both cases Davids actions will be considered his own, regardless of who influenced him. I’ll just leave it at that.

Syd can’t think of a retort to Melanie’s statement. David’s acting completely differently than the David she knew before. She doesn’t know what to think of him right now.

Everyone’s been doubting David’s capability all episode, but now for the first time they see the absolute power he wields. And it’s horrifying. It wasn’t just doable for David, it was easy. It was too easy. It’s starting to become clear why Ptonomy asked David, “What are you?”

Everyone they meet in D3 is a potential enemy, even prisoners like Kissinger. This mindset makes them seem very unheroic.

The first attack we see David do in the security footage is that bright light pulse attack. It doesn’t turn them to shadows, but it definitely instakills them.

If Farouk wasn’t fully in control... why would he show up on the infrared? He normally hides himself inside David’s head, no?

Cary hears scary Farouk generated noises even when David’s not physically around. It seems like Farouk’s hauntings naturally infect people, like a virus.

I think Cary may have left the room when Farouk started fully messing with David. That’s probably why he hadn’t seen this footage before.

David leveled their entire forces in ways never before seen, all to get Amy back. “This war is bigger than some guy named David and his sister.” Evidently not. David is the most powerful being on Earth. And because of that, he’s the most important too. Or at least... that’s what the show repeatedly implies.

David is once again implied to be inhuman (not the actual marvel classification, just... un-human). In this case we could attribute it to them seeing The Devil With Yellow Eyes come towards them on infrared. But it will still be reapplied to David later on.

Through the discovery of Farouk, David’s previous actions are all forgiven. This mutant parasite has been the one rewriting his memories and influencing his actions for as long as David’s been alive. Ptonomy has a look of understanding, as do Melanie, Syd, and Rudy. It all clicks now, every little action. So now all they have to do is get Farouk out of his head, and everything will be hunky dory. I’m trying to say, the goal is clear for the first time.

A very disturbing scene. David’s lost control completely, and all his nightmares are guarding the exits to his mind. The situation may be clear, but that doesn’t mean this will be easy, or harbor no long lasting affects.

Amy fully admits she knew and was too scared to say anything. Knowing that Farouk later kills her for Davids sake makes this all the more dreadful.

When “David” says “You know something about me,” Amy shakes her head at first.

Farouk scares Amy into spilling the truth. “My whole life is a lie. I just need to know... who am I?” After Amy says it, “You were adopted,” Farouk allows the real David to come forward again. He wants him to feel this for himself. The feeling of betrayal, never being told his real origins. An outsider in every way imaginable. His ideas about himself all have different context now. His fondest memories throughout the series were with his parents and sister as a little kid. And now he’s not biologically related to them. He understands what Farouk meant now. His “whole life is a lie.” Amy knew this and kept it from him for decades. His adoptive parents never told him. Everyone’s in on it except him.

Syd is thinking of the white room on her way to see David.

“I don’t have an illness!” Farouk is succeeding in his goal of making David rethink his relationship with Amy. Perhaps in the moment... he no longer feels much compassion for his sister. She didn’t just hide the adoption after all, she also contributed to the societal gaslighting around his powers. I’m starting to see why she’s portrayed the way she is in the next episode...

“He’s not crazy, this is much, much worse.” What once were thought of as delusions are now being validated as completely real. David is no doubt traumatized, but he doesn’t have paranoid schizophrenia (according to the show at the moment). What he does have is a mutant-ghost that needs busting.

With David’s relationship with Amy permanently changed, Farouk moves on to messing with his Summerland friends. The goal, again, is to isolate David and convince him of his philosophy. “We are Gods. Gods make rules, they don’t follow them.”

Syd sheds a tear out of fear after being jump-scared by The Angriest Boy. She’s scared as all get out, but keeps moving forward for David’s sake. Syd is once again willing to risk everything for David. Or... is she just risking it for the idea of him? What’s the difference?

Walters abilities are still unclear to me.

Cary almost played charades with Melanie to tell her about the crown (or halo in this iteration?)

Kerry can either summon or just store weapons inside of Cary.

David’s very upset that he can’t stop Lenny. And he still thinks Lenny is a part of himself. We know better. But it does seem clear hear that David didn’t want any of the things that happened that day to happen. I think I feel comfortable clearing him on all charges for the D3 raid. For now...

David’s the one that first puts him and Syd in the astral plane. Farouk just seizes the opportunity takes control of the simulation. No doubt to multiple ends.

#legion fx

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umishiqu · 4 years

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Scarabia chapter is over and I’m screaming at everything rn hold on-

(sorry if I’m stuffing this rant down anyone’s throat, because I’m realizing people get annoyed with it and I’m sorry but,, scarabia brainrot ;;;...)

(spoilers for chapter 4 under the cut!)

Sad there’s no magic carpet :,( but oasis maker saves the day!! Still mysterious as ever as to why oasis maker is called a blessing other than um. Being a blessing to the Country of Hot Sands. But yes Azul enjoys it! (if you wanna hear me rant about oasis maker pwease dm cause I,, now have some thoughts and I can’t keep my mouth shut ;;...)

Also no mention of kidnapping happenings or poisoning in post-OB backstory but that means slow burn character development for Kalim possibly later on, so I’ll take it

Also Kalim’s guilt kills me on the inside :,,( guy says that he has anemia, but I’m wondering if that’s acc just Jamil giving him an excuse for his hypnosis. Mainly cause he himself says that he’s not bad at PE, which he really would be bad at PE if he really did have anemia,, but the anemia could explain a lot other things, other than that little tidbit,, either way, that means, again, slow burn character development! (But just,, his voice wavers, and how he says that Jamil can have the dorm leader position and Kalim will just go home is just,, Jamil you couldn’t talk to Kalim at all about this? Really?)

And scarabia duo is still killing me on the inside :,,,( Jamil wanted revenge cause of how he had to be below Kalim all the time and couldn’t objectify his hate to anyone but Kalim, but he also couldn’t sincerely hate Kalim for everything he is esp. when he’s the one who’s been encouraging him at all, all their time together. Jamil also loves his family apparently but in the way that he doesn’t like what they make him do but he also realizes that his parents are in the same position as him (hence why he screams, in his fit of anger, how he’s gonna free both him and his family). The only other person I can see that he personally hates but has to deal with is Crowley. I literally just see Jamil as a stubborn, kind of selfish tsundere,, Do I like Jamil more than I did before? I mean a lot of what I personally thought about him (not standing out so that Kalim is above him, having to adhere to tradition and such) was basically confirmed with the recent chapter.

But coming personally on my thoughts on Jamil cause he’s a contradictory character rn in the discord,, he is really really easy to sympathize and relate with, esp if you compare him to the less-realistic-outlook-on-life Kalim from Scarabia. And Kalim’s banquet fevers aren’t easy to deal with. My younger brother who gets more credit than me in,, literally everything drags me to play around on electronics sometimes and usually I just wanna sleep, but I can’t and usually just l just give up when playing with him cause I should look like he’s winning (fun thing is that he’s 2 1/2 years younger than me, and also a lot taller than me). I have to let him throw punches at me and when I do one little thing like tell him to stop, it’s into the dark room with me. So I can appreciate Jamil’s stubbornness for his plans and ideals to overthrow Kalim, esp cause I was more or less conditioned to be helpful to other people. Not that I’m complaining because beig helpful to others is something that I’ve noticed rewards you in a good way,,

With all that being said,, the way he acted and went about with this crossed a lot of lines. At first, I thought the reason why he would hypnotize Kalim so that Jamil could become dorm leader + the other stuff mentioned above is so that Kalim can be seen as having a personality/morale worse than him. Or at least, less cheerful. But then Jamil goes in and with Kalim’s happy personality, cheers up everyone and helps them wth their troubles while in the oasis. And I’m here and I’m just,, if you hate him for that personality so much why do something like that?? (He can’t admit that’s what people acc like about Kalim, and he decides to take one of his few positive qualities that gets people attached to Kalim and just,, wreck it. I was,, very very mad, but I didn’t rant about it cause I knew I’d yell unreasonably in the discord chat.) Revealed at the end, Jamil literally doesn’t want to be friends with anyone and I’m just,, sigh. And also,, the students only agreed with Jamil that Kalim was an incompetent dorm leader after Jamil hypnotized Kalim into doing all those things, not before. Before? They acc loved Kalim because of how kind and gentle and thoughtful he was to others, even though he can be kind of hopeless and random and a bit irresponsible to them sometimes. And these were all qualities that Jamil apparently hated, not because they were anything bad that’s supposed to be a front for secretly mocking everyone, but because he personally was confused as to why Kalim’s so freakin carefree as a character when Jamil himself isn’t. (As Azul said, it’s very easy for people to become envious of Kalim, and that’s already confirmed with how quickly the Scarabia dormmates’ opinion changed of Kalim after he takes them out to march to the oasis and after Jamil keeps mentioning the Asim family.)

Jamil’s had 17 years to harbour resentment against Kalim, but he’s also had 17 years to truthfully bond with Kalim, which he decided not to do because again. Stubborn. That’s why I can’t really say that Jamil’s just made one mistake (which was the entirety of scarabia chapter), especially the little hint drop that Jamil’s been hypnotizing Kalim even while they were younger and used anemia as an excuse for Kalim’s drowsiness. Anyway, the fact that Jamil’s been the one teaching Kalim magic, but even he didn’t know Kalim could summon a river and was genuinely surprised for a bit says a lot about how much of Kalim he can’t read, which he also mentions in his personal stories that Kalim is unpredictable. And fact is that Kalim can read Jamil’s emotions like an open-book, but couldn’t connect the dots until after he realizes how much Jamil’s hated him says something too. And when I say “realizes”, I mean “chooses not to ignore” how much Jamil’s hated him. Like,, it’s not like Jamil sleep-talked his backstory to Kalim while he’s passed out. Nor does anyone acc see the backstory except for the viewers + Jamil. And this can explain why Kalim didn’t really change how he interacts with Jamil at the end, if he knew the hate was coming but just didn’t want to acknowledge it. Then again, he does have limitless optimism here so there’s that.

But,, we’re talking about the only person Kalim’s ever trusted at all, betraying him and going off in one of the worse ways possible. I’m with the tweels here, I’m a bit mad because after what Jamil did, Kalim had no excuse to not get angry with him. He didn’t even get to punch him smh, but he did call him traitor so babey steps. Octavinelle teaching Kalim to be a little more harsher has me very very happy. (But miscommunication is strong in Scarabia, and with slow burn character development, I can see Kalim getting gradually more and more self-destructive poison anyone? chapter 5? and internally cynical and Jamil gradually regretting the time lost between them because, also according to the end of Scarabia, he doesn’t really mind an optimistic Kalim because like Kalim only had Jamil, Jamil really only has Kalim now after the tomfoolery he pulled in this chapter.)

So do I like Jamil more now than I did before? Kind of,. I had hopes for Scarabia (I’m sure a lot of people did with all the hyper analysis we did :p) But,, Jamil literally just got me angry this whole chapter. The backstory was nice, and Kalim praising Jamil and Jamil telling Kalim to stop (the way he screams ;;..) everytime gets me going. But esp with that piece of information, hating and blaming Kalim over something neither of them could change just,, recked them both. I can’t blame Jamil for building up resentment, but I can’t blame Kalim either for wanting to believe they were friends because he was trying to make the most out of their situation. Until Kalim realized the only way to do that was to just tell Jamil to stop being his servant and start off as equals to be true friends now. To which Jamil says no to the second notion profusely, but he also implies he’d rather be with Kalim than wth Azul, so. No more master/servant dynamics. And the ending was written off so sloppily but I think it was supposed to leave Jamil’s true feelings about Kalim end off on an ambiguous note imo. Again, sloppy, but sure.

Kalijami/Jamikali just seems really really toxic to me now, and I figured it would end up like that which is why I ended up reading other Scarabia ships (very into flokali and kaliver rn :p). I don’t usually see Japanese media fleshing out happy characters all too much, but with Kalim as literal Scarabia poster boy even tho he doesn’t represent the villain, I can see what direction they’ll take to develop Kalim now. Hopefully not how they developed Soma. (Ofc I wanted overblot!Kalim but,, I’m personally glad they didn’t do it rn, y’know? And the fact that we didn’t get introduced to an RSA counterpart for Scarabia at all has me,, thinking some things now...)

...dm if you want me to rant about oasis maker and rsa cause please I need to feed someone ;0;

#twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #ch 4 spoilers #scarabia spoilers #rant #my thoughts

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missjanjie · 4 years

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Take Me Back to the Start | (9/10)

Title: Take Me Back to the Start Summary: Everyone remembers their first love. Not everyone carries those feelings from childhood to senior year. Yet Brock is starting his last year of high school while still longing for the relationship he lost five years ago. Meanwhile, José is at the top of the food chain and seems to have it all together. But maybe their story isn’t over yet. Word Count: ~3.1k (this chapter) / ~28.4k (total) Relationship(s): Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo), Sportsdoll (Jan Sport/Nicky Doll) Rating: E

Read on AO3

Nine Years Ago

José was the type of kid that looked forward to recess more than any part of the day. He needed that time to run around and be loud, burn off some of that energy so he could at least try to sit still during the rest of the school day. His ADHD and general personality already made that an uphill battle for any teacher.

But after a good few minutes of running around on the playground, he found himself bored. Or at least, bored enough to notice a kid sitting by himself with his face buried in his notebook. Occasionally he would look up and around, like he was contemplating getting up and playing, but would end up only curling further into himself.

It took a split second, but José recognized him as the new kid. He was introduced to the class that morning but, even with the teachers’ encouragement, he didn’t have a whole lot to say. José was pretty sure half of the class would need to be reminded of his name before the day ended, and that just didn’t sit right with him.

Because on the other hand, José did not have a problem talking or remembering faces. No, he had an endless capacity to talk to and meet new people, so he sat right next to the shy blonde boy. “Hi! You’re Brock, right?”

Brock looked up, closing his notebook and setting it aside. There was a split second of hesitation before he answered him. “Um… yeah, hi,” he replied, shifting his legs so he was sitting with them crossed instead. “What’s your name?”

“José. Whatcha doin’ sitting by yourself?” He frowned, tilting his head. “Recess is for playing, you look like you was doing homework,” he observed, cocking his head the other way, towards the notebook at Brock’s feet.

“It’s not homework.” He shook his head, then thought for a beat. “Actually… I guess it is kind of like homework. But it’s not for school, it’s for my ballet class.”

José perked his head up with curious interest. “You do ballet? That’s so cool!”

Brock blinked in surprise. “You think it’s cool? Most people think it’s dumb, that boys aren’t supposed to take ballet,” he explained.

“Well, they’re wrong then. I think it’s cool. You should teach me something from your class sometime.”

“Yeah!” Brock beamed brightly, the excitement of having finally made a new friend bubbling over. Even then, he knew it was the start of a beautiful friendship.

Present Day

Brock woke up with a broad smile on his face. He glanced down. José was clinging to him like a koala, still sleeping soundly, and it was the most beautiful damn sight he had ever seen. It was hard to believe last night – the entirety of the previous day, really – actually happened. It felt like he was finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, like he was finally getting where he so desperately wanted to be for the longest time.

José yawned, his eyes squeezing shut before opening them. He slowly tilted his head up, smiling sleepily when he saw Brock watching him. “You watchin’ me sleep, B?”

“Just a little.” He chuckled, raking his fingers through his thick, brown hair. He gently scratched his head and laughed softly because José let out a noise that sounded like one of his cats purring.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” he assured, kissing his forehead. “You’re just cute.”

José picked his head up, smiling at him before dropping back down to his chest. “You still corny as hell,” he murmured with a subdued laugh.

Brock smiled, squeezing him close. “Maybe so, but you’re the one that’s a sucker for it,” he retorted. The calm contentment didn’t last much longer as his upcoming schedule crept up on him. “You know I have to get down to the studio today. I wanna get in one last solid rehearsal before the competition tomorrow.”

“Alright,” José agreed. “But I’m going with you to make sure you keep that shit short and sweet. I’m not finna let you overexert yourself and wind up with sore-ass legs the morning of. And you better bet I’mma make sure you eat all your meals today.”

Brock blinked, taken back by the sudden assertiveness in the smaller teen’s tone. Though at the same time, he was touched. He thought it was sweet that he jumped right into making sure he took care of himself, he’d come to realize that was how José expressed affection. His mother was like that too, but it was especially endearing with him. “Okay, okay, I’ll try to prioritize self-care in the midst of this very important competition,” he told him.

“I’m just not ‘boutta let you psych yourself out,” he replied simply. “I know you’d do the same for me.”

Brock smiled, squeezing him close. “You’re right,” he leaned down and kissed his forehead before actually getting himself to sit up. “Is there any point in taking a shower if I’m gonna get all sweaty and gross in the studio?” He watched as his boyfriend lazily shook his head. “Alright, breakfast it is.”

José pushed into an upright position as well. “Yeah? Whatcha making me?”

“Cereal.”

------

Everything was business as usual when Brock and José entered the studio. But as Brock was warming up, José guided his coach off to the side for a moment. “Listen, we probably already on the same page for this, but I just wanna be sure. I don’t want him to push himself too hard today, ‘cause he’s gonna burn the candle on both hands and I want him to have energy and strength tomorrow, you know?”

Anna chuckled, clasping her hand on José’s shoulder. “I appreciate your concern, hon. And you’re not wrong about him. But it’s my job to keep him at his best, not just pushing him to his limits.”

He nodded, feeling a bit silly for going out of his way to say that – she was right, it was her job. But he couldn’t shake the need to take care of Brock. Maybe, he thought, it was because he wasn’t able to protect him from Kyle, and now he had to make sure he never let him get hurt again. Especially not because of him. “Right, yeah. You guys do your thing, I’ll just… be over there.”

“Hey.” She stopped him right before he could slip away. “He’s lucky to have a boyfriend like you.”

José opened his mouth to correct her, but then stopped himself and just smiled. “Thanks,” he said as he walked off to the side. Hearing Brock referred to as his boyfriend sounded like music to his ears and made his heart swell in his chest. He knew eventually they would have to put some sort of label onto whatever it was they had – he was never a fan of ambiguity. But he had also come to realize that talking about their feelings was like pulling teeth, so he had to broach the subject delicately.

Maybe that was why dancing came so naturally to them. José watched as Brock moved with such grace and ease, while still able to convey depth and passion that words could never capture. Words could get muddled and mixed up, the movement was straightforward and fluid, there was nothing to be miscommunicated.

Brock took a deep breath when he finally finished for the day, chugging down almost an entire bottle of water in one go. “That felt good. It felt solid.”

“You are gonna eat that shit up tomorrow,” José said with certainty. “Now c’mon, sweaty. You gotta hit the showers,” he added, walking with him into the locker room. “Oh, uh, my mama texted me during rehearsal. She wants to know if you wanna come over for dinner. And listen, you totally don’t have to if you just wanna rest up and take it easy or–”

“Are you kidding? I’d never turn down your mom’s cooking,” he said as he undressed and stepped into the shower.

“It’s not that, it’s um…” José was glad Brock was in the shower and not watching him shift and fidget awkwardly. “My older brother’s already home for Thanksgiving, and when he’s with my younger brother, they’re still a little, you know… rough around the edges.”

Brock shrugged, stepping back out and drying off shortly after. “I’m not worried about them. They can’t scare me off that easily,” he said, getting his clothes on and gathering his belongings up in his bag.

“That’s kinda hot,” José remarked with a smirk.

He laughed and threw his arm around the shorter teen as they left. “That’s the spirit. And hey, if they give us shit, we can just have loud sex in your room to get back at them.”

José looked up at him, admittedly a bit surprised that he was able to talk like that after just one time together. “Can… we do that even if they don’t?”

Brock snorted and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Yeah, even if they don’t.”

They went back to Brock’s house for the rest of the afternoon. After a light lunch, they retreated to the bedroom to watch TV. And they sat in relative silence until José cleared his throat. “I know we’re still shitty at talking about how we feel and all, but…” He gestured vaguely as he tried to figure out how to phrase it. “Anna called me your boyfriend and I really liked how it sounded. But I gotta know where you stand on that.”

Not unexpectedly, Brock didn’t know how to answer and sat silently for a few moments. In actuality, he knew exactly where he stood, he’d been standing there for eight years. But even knowing how José felt didn’t quell his fear of coming on too strong or taking it too far. So, just like always, he chose his words slowly and carefully. “I also like the idea of you being my boyfriend. I have for a while now. And… I see us together, not like the way we used to be, a better version of us together.”

Instead of a verbal response, José simply tackled Brock onto the bed and kissed him deeply. He couldn’t have articulated how he felt if he tried. There was happiness, relief, nerves, a little bit of arousal, just so much hitting at once. “Guess it’s official, then,” he murmured against his lips.

“It’s official,” Brock confirmed, holding him close and covering his face in small kisses. “We’re boyfriends again,” he beamed.

“Dinner’s gonna be a little more interesting now,” he mused, then glanced over and saw the time on his phone. “Which we better start getting ready for. She wants us there at six.”

Brock nodded, reluctantly untangling himself from José to change into a button-down shirt and jeans. He fixed up his hair and dabbed on a bit of cologne as well. “Alright, we good to go?”

José gave a thumbs up and the two of them left hand-in-hand, the same way they walked into his house. They looked around, his mother was in the kitchen and his brothers were on the couch, watching sports. “Don’t be fucking rude, say hi to Brock,” he said to them.

The two brothers looked up, nonplussed, and offered casual greetings before their attention completely refocused on the screen.

Realizing that that would be the extent of their interaction, Brock and José went and said hi to Anabel before going up to José’s bedroom. There, they waited idly until everyone was called in for dinner.

“So, what, you guys are dating again like when you were kids?” one of José’s brothers asked.

“You know what the difference is,” the older brother chimed in.

“Haha, gross.”

Their mother glared at them. “Ambos cierran la boca antes de que lo haga por ti,” she snapped in a firm warning that swiftly silenced them.

Brock and José didn’t do much but shift awkwardly. They weren’t completely wrong, in all fairness, but Brock definitely understood what José had meant by ‘rough around the edges’, and luckily they were able to make it through the meal without further incident.

When everyone was done and about to retire to their respective rooms, José’s older brother guided Brock off to the side. José noticed this and immediately went over to them. “Yo, I dunno what shit you’re about to pull but–”

“It’s okay, babe,” Brock assured. “Go upstairs, I’ll meet you there.” Then, he turned back to face the brother, standing in a way that he was taller and couldn’t be easily intimidated.

“Look,” he started, “I’m only saying this ‘cause I care about my little brother. I just think this shit’s weird. Not even ‘cause of the gay thing. But it’s just like… this childhood fantasy thing. How’s that ever gonna be a real love?”

The answer came surprisingly easy to Brock. At least, it must’ve, because he answered without his usual hesitation. “Yes, I fell in love with him when we were kids, that’s how I know it was real. Nothing else is as pure, as sincere. When you’re a child, you love with your whole heart, because that’s all you know how to do. That’s the type of love that stays with you forever. And that’s why I never fell out of love with him.”

José had been standing just out of their field of vision, listening in, in case he needed to step in and defend his boyfriend. But what he’d heard had caught him utterly by surprise and touched him in a way he’d never felt before. He didn’t hear how his brother responded, he rushed upstairs before either of them could notice.

Brock slowly opened the bedroom door, letting himself in. “Hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long,” he said as he shut the door behind him. He didn’t get a verbal response, though. Instead, as soon as he was in his reach, José pulled him into a deep kiss that he melted right into. He fell back on the bed with him, refusing to be the first one to pull away.

Reluctantly, José pulled back when the urge to breathe beat out the desire to keep kissing. “I heard what you said,” he confessed, still breathless from the passionate embrace. “I heard what you said and I realized I love you too. I love you in a way I ain’t never loved before. And I don’t know what that means but I know it means a fucking lot.”

“I…” Brock’s head was spinning and his heart was pounding a mile a minute. He needed a moment just to take that all in – José had heard him admit his feelings, not only that, he reciprocated them. Their relationship had jumped up so many levels so fast, but at the same time, it felt like the natural progression – they were supposed to be in love, it’s what they were destined for. “God, it means everything to me to hear you say that.”

He smiled and kissed him again. “This has been one fuckin’ day, huh?”

“Yeah,” the blonde exhaled, laying down on his back with an arm wrapped around his boyfriend. “Dunno how I’m supposed to calm down and relax for tomorrow,” he remarked with a laugh.

Suddenly, José perked up with a smirk. “I know what to do about that,” he said and got up, pulling Brock along so he was sitting on the side of the bed.

Brock sat with his feet on the floor and watched while the shorter teen sunk to his knees. “Oh, I think I know where you’re going with this,” he grinned, carding his fingers through his hair.

“You’re just so smart,” José teased as he undid Brock’s jeans, tugging them down to his ankles with his boxers following suit. He looked up at him, making heavy eye contact as he spat on his hand and wrapped it around his length, stroking slowly and steadily.

It didn’t take much for Brock to start to get hard. He bit down on his lip, gaze fixated on José, who had built up his pace as he jerked him off, then teasingly lapped at the head of his cock.

José smirked to himself, then focused his attention exclusively on the task at hand. He dragged his tongue from the head all the way down and back up. Then, with one hand resting on Brock’s thigh to steady himself, he took his length in inch by inch, occasionally flicking his eyes back up to him.

“Shit…” Brock grunted softly, eyes fluttering shut and head tilting back. His breathing grew heavier and he bit down on his lip. He tangled his fingers through José’s hair, gripping just a bit.

After another moment, José had managed to get Brock’s length all the way down his throat. His forehead rested against his lower abdomen as he focused his breathing through his nose. The hand on his thigh grabbed tighter while his free hand wiggled into his jeans so he could get himself off as well.

Brock was struggling to keep himself still and quiet, unsure if he was able to do both. The hand that wasn’t tugging José’s hair was clamped over his mouth to stifle his moans. As much as he tried to keep his body planted firmly on the bed, his hips rolled up every now and then.

José didn’t mind it. In fact, he thought it was hot that he could get him to lose control like that. He bobbed his head faster, with more fervor, eager to get him off.

And it was working. It was working very well. Brock was moaning louder, his hips were jerking erratically. He was cursing under his breath and all but yanking José’s hair. He tried to get out a warning, but when his orgasm hit, all he could do is cry out his lover’s name in a heated moment of pleasure.

José was ready, picking up on the physical cues and relaxed his throat in anticipation. He swallowed his load, lingering until he was certain his boyfriend was fully spent, then slowly eased off of him. In that time, he’d gotten himself off as well, making quick work of cleaning off before he stood back up and kissed him. “You relaxed now?”

Brock needed a moment to catch his breath. “Oh yeah.” He nodded. “I’m gonna sleep like a baby tonight.”

José grinned in satisfaction, getting in bed, pleased with a job well done. Their day may have been a rollercoaster, but they were ending it in each other’s arms, so it was all worth it.

#branjie #branjie fic #rpdr rpf

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apiratecalledav · 5 years

Note

Is there other stuff that makes you think hbo messed with gendrya?

Oh, man, I’m probably gonna be thought of as the Murray Bauman of the fandom…. But yeah, there’s actually quite a bit that makes me think that it’s possible. When season 8 first aired, I thought that maybe executive meddling shot them down for some reason, most logically to protect spinoff potential. They might have let the show “test the waters” but ultimately wanted them left ambiguous.

I thought it was… interesting… that Gendry and Arya had by far the gentlest, most amicable breakup in the entire series— and that it was over Gendry’s lordship that he straight up said wasn’t worth anything without Arya—when HBO UK made a cryptic tweet that made me wonder if someone high up was leery of the pairing/fan reaction. If they wanted the option for an Arya Stark spinoff someday, I could see why they wouldn’t want her to end in a relationship they thought might be poorly received.

I also thought that maybe since Gendrya went so far out of the show’s usual M.O. (to the point that it was one of the very few things about season 8 that I was wildly off about) that their thought process might have plausibly been something like, “Gendrya can’t be endgame? Well, fuck it. We’ll go all out and have them do pretty much everything else: Make out, spend the night together, save the world, say, ‘I love you,’ and get down on one knee to propose.”

I also thought that I was probably just a tinfoil-hat-wearing weirdo saying, “My OTP wasn’t definitively endgame! It must be a conspiracy.”

But I rewatched the whole season a little while ago and I noticed some things that I think are… interesting. Although, you should keep in mind that it was during two VERY long and VERY boring days at work where I had nothing to do.

I could just be shipper trash, seeing what I wanna see. Maybe not. I’m just saying that I’d believe it if something was up. From the way they portrayed Arya and Gendry, in general and especially in comparison to Jon/D-ny (I’ve anti tagged but if you don’t have blacklisting enabled, this is your fair warning), I could believe that the writers like the ship. And while Arya is certainly not the poster child for perfect mental health, there isn’t anything to suggest she would be toxic in a long term relationship. She isn’t selfish or cruel. I also don’t think that she hates herself the way that Sandor and Jaime did and that she believes she deserves to be “punished” or alone. She didn’t say anything to Gendry about not wanting to be a wife, just not a lady.

They’re consistently portrayed as a healthier/more favorable foil to Jon and D-ny:

In 8x01, D-ny swoops down on Winterfell and is cavalier as fuck about resources. She has no comment about food except that dragons eat “whatever they want.” The next scene, we see Gendry running to catch a chunk of dragonglass that was about to tumble out of the wagon. He tells everyone to be careful because they need every last bit of it. He then goes on to climb up the wagon, much like Arya did in the pilot episode. I think it’s even in the same spot. If not, it’s very similar.

Also 8x01, D-ny tells Jon, “keep your Queen warm” and while they are kissing, Jon keeps opening his eyes and freaking out because scary dragons are eyeballing him. And D-ny is pretty much like, “Don’t worry about it, it’s cool.” Even though she’s already made a few jokes about how if they decide to roast Jon then he’s shit outta luck and she threatened Sansa. Then the very next scene is Gendry and Sandor just before Arya finds them. Arya teases Gendry as well but she also defends him from Sandor, compliments him, jokes he should “keep close to that forge” if he’s cold and tells him not to call her Lady Stark. They laugh and banter and all awkwardness fades away and they’re both grinning like dorks. Arya actively wants Gendry to see them as equals; D-ny subconsciously wants Jon in his place.

Even as the dead are practically in their backyard, D-ny keeps obsessing about the throne. Meanwhile, Arya’s station doesn’t bother Gendry anymore because he knows it doesn’t matter. He also signed up to help Jon immediately without asking for anything in return.

Arya and Gendry each seek the other out in 8x02 but Jon spends a lot of it trying to avoid D-ny until the last moment

8x02 Arya and D-ny find out Gendry’s and Jon’s parentages. It makes no difference to Arya, she loved Gendry when he was a barmaid’s bastard and she loves him when he’s a king’s son. Jon’s bio father shatters D-ny’s whole world.

Most of Jon’s family (this includes Sam) distrust and fear D-ny. Jon and Sandor like Gendry and Sansa and Bran have no complaints at least.

Their ~love scenes~ have a few shots that mirror each other, too. But we see the buildup for Arya and Gendry, their conversation, their first kiss, undressing each other. We see Jon and D-ny and in the middle of things, during a montage explaining how they’re closely related and narrated by Jon’s little brother. Not exactly sexy. Then it cuts to Tyrion lurking nearby looking troubled and finally ends with an ominous shot of the Targ flagship in the dark and gloom. Meanwhile, Arya and Gendry are alone, not related, and are the sole focus of the scene. There’s not even music.

In 8x04, at the funeral, Gendry and Arya are initially a good distance apart. Then after they light the pyres, you get a shot of Arya with (an admittedly very blurry) Gendry visible over her shoulder. Meanwhile, Jon and D-ny stand together while lighting the fire and then they part.

Gendry’s “I love you” to Arya is enthusiastic and happy and D-ny’s to Jon is coming from a place of mourning at best and it’s straight up manipulative at worst. The words “I love you” are rare in this show. I can only remember Jorah saying it a couple of times, Littlefinger to Cat and Sansa, Joffrey pledging to wed Margaery, and Robb to Talisa. The only times it’s not sad or creepy are Robb and Gendry.

These two scenes are the most glaringly obvious. But to summarize, Arya tries to set Gendry “free” when his life changes in a direction she doesn’t want for herself and D-ny tries to put Jon into a corner and make sure his life CAN’T change into one that she doesn’t want.

So with that stuff in mind, I could buy that maybe they wanted Arya and Gendry to reunite in King’s Landing and try to save civilians together. Or maybe have Jon ask Gendry to take Arya as far away as he can before Jon goes to that throne room to do what he has to do. Hell, look at Arya’s final scene as is: She’s on a ship and then you see her Stark sigil on the sail against the sunlight… If Gendry was with her, that’d sure look like a happier version of D-ny and Jon’s scene from the end of season 7… While probably a bit too on the nose for GRRM’s books, I could see the show implying that Gendry and Arya are the second, more hopeful verse of the Song of Ice and Fire…

Other Season 8 Subtext-y things:

Marriage imagery; Arya under Gendry’s cloak. Bonus points for it being shown during these lines from Jenny’s song: “spun away all her sorrow and pain/and she never wanted to leave.” “She spun away and said to him, ‘no featherbed for me.’”

Pretty much all of Gendry’s scenes in season 8 are with Arya or he’s with Sandor, talking about her. The small handful of times he’s not with either of them, he’s with her siblings and other people connected to House Stark like Tormund and Davos and even Sam and Edd. After their “breakup” he virtually disappears. Pretty much the ENTIRE reason they brought him back was for Arya and to be tied strongly to House Stark.

Beric and Melissandre, who once wanted to sacrifice Gendry for “the greater good” and caused Arya to turn towards a darker path, sacrifice themselves to defeat the dead, not only saving Arya’s and Gendry’s lives but guiding Arya further into “light.” To the point where she literally ends the Long Night.

Gendry tells Arya that she’s beautiful and he loves her and gets down on one knee to ask her to marry him… Which is so wildly uncharacteristic for this show that I still can’t believe that it’s real. It’s by far the most traditional romantic moment in the entire series. I suppose it could just be fan service, but 8x02 would have sufficed on that front. Not to mention that “fan service” in this show has never been something so wholesome.

They could have done the proposal differently. They could have had Gendry say crap like, “Now we can settle down and live a boring, respectable life” or something else that would have been really unappealing to Arya. It actually would have been another connection to Robert/Lyanna, where Robert only loved his idea of Lyanna. But nope. They could have framed it as Gendry trying to do the honorable thing or “they’re gonna marry us off anyway, at least we like each other.” But nope.

Gendry could have been put off by Arya’s combat skills but he was turned on by it. She even used her “game of faces” voice on him and it didn’t send him running for the hills.

They also could have easily had Gendry be too “tame” for Arya but nope. Her face at this part just kills me.

They made a thing out of Gendry being “forever loyal” to D-ny after she legitimized him but he had jack shit to say about her at the Great Council and was all too happy to vote for King Bran, even after Arya had turned him down.

A follow up to that other post in regards to a Gendry-ish looking guy grabbing Arya and asking if she’s seen his wife, Alanna: Magaery’s cousin with the same sounding name gets a GRRM-esque weird spelling: Allana with two Ls and one N. As opposed to the more traditional spelling that looks more like Lyanna….

One of the surviving lords at the Great Council is specifically from the Storm Lands. He’s probably who has had Storm’s End for the last few years and maybe he doesn’t deserve to get kicked out by a boy who doesn’t have any idea how to be a lord and doesn’t even want to be a lord without Arya. He even has a name: Lord Une. The Dornish prince doesn’t have a first name but this guy does?

Also, Une is a very unusual name. It’s not from the books and it doesn’t really sound Medieval Europe-y, either. Maybe there’s an inside joke or something? That’s definitely not a name you just pull from the air.

Arya lights Beric’s funeral pyre but if Sandor didn’t have issues with fire, I think he probably would have done it as Beric’s last surviving friend. It kind of gives us the sense that Arya can do what Sandor can’t—which of course, she ultimately does when she decides to leave Cersei while Sandor, who has missed so much being hurt and angry, can only have peace/forgive himself is if he stops Gregor forever.

In the very next scene after the funeral, we see Gendry and Sandor talk about Arya. Sandor basically says that normal, living people have emotions and hormones and it’s not a bad thing. Sometime later, we see Sandor scare off a girl who makes a pass at him. The next scene is Gendry and Arya. Arya also ‘rejects’ her love interest but it’s in an infinitely more thoughtful way. We already know that it’s easier for Arya to be close to other people than it was for Sandor. Arya just has a little bit more to go until she’s completely ready for something serious.

Episodes 1 and 2 establish a pattern of “Sandor then Gendry.” It’s how they arrive at Winterfell. It’s how they reunite with Arya. It’s how Arya visits them towards the end of 8x02. Sooo again, I could see at one point the intention was for them to reunite in King’s Landing. Possibly during that bit where it keeps cutting back and forth between Sandor and Arya; “hateful” Gregor grabs Sandor up to throw him around and “loving” Gendry lifts Arya to save her from getting trampled. Nora, the name of the kind stranger who does help Arya, is essentially the “female equivalent” of Gendry’s name.

According to the leaked outline of season 7, Gendry was originally supposed to be rescued by Benjen beyond the wall. In season 8, he has scenes with Jon, Sansa, and Bran, and even Edmure and Robin. ALMOST LIKE THEY WANTED HIM TO MEET *ALL* OF ARYA’S FAMILY. I’m pretty sure only Tyrion has met more Starks and Tullys than Gendry.

The “Ice battle” was at Arya’s childhood home and the “Fire battle” was at Gendry’s. And yeah, I think it’s pretty damn weird that a capable, uninjured soldier who has knowledge of King’s Landing isn’t there.

They gave them a reference to The Princess Bride: “As you wish.” Comparing them to a beloved couple from a modern classic is a good sign. Comparing them to most likely a childhood favorite? Even better. Comparing them to a couple where their other famous line is “Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a little while.” And Arya and Gendry are still alive. Actually, it might be a coincidence but they do have a SHIT-TON in common with The Princess Bride. GRRM is a fan, too, so maybe it was discussed at some point. It’s certainly uncanny if it wasn’t at least partially intentional. But that’s a different post.

Sandor knows about Gendry and Arya and he doesn’t rip Gendry’s head off. Gendry basically got a blessing from Arya’s last legal guardian.

Their outfits reflect each other’s houses, Gendry’s clothes having some very Stark direwolf-like scratch marks and Arya’s scabbard is yellow and black aka Baratheon colors.

I haven’t listened to it yet, but apparently in the leaked audio commentary for 8x06, they talked about how Joe wanted Arya to notice how hot Gendry looked.

Other stuff that makes me think that the writers like Gendrya:

They gave them a lot of time and focus. Even in season 8 where they had very limited time. And objectively speaking, that time probably should have been spent with Arya and her siblings.

They had Arya befriend Gendry earlier and easier than she does in the books.

In behind the episode of 8x02, Benioff talked about how you choose to spend your last night on earth says a lot about you. The very first example he gives is Arya wanting to be with Gendry.

They are always depicted positively: They trust each other; they respect each other; they make each other laugh; they protect each other. Even during their “breakups” in season 3 and 8; they are honest and accepting of each other’s decisions. These two are young and inexperienced but they manage to be more mature and healthier than 95% of the other couples. Their relationship also doesn’t doom them the way that Robb and Talisa’s did.

They changed stuff from the books to make it– not more romantic per se given Arya’s age– but certainly shipping fuel that fit more into romantic tropes: How they meet, how Gendry discovers that she’s a girl, how Arya blatantly checks him out when he’s shirtless. Their long one-on-one and emotional “goodbye” scene where Arya says, “I can be your family.”

They changed/added lines to foreshadow “My Featherbed,” aka where Gendry is legitimized but gives it up for Arya: “I have a son, you have a daughter. We’ll join our houses” but leaving out how Robert specified Joffrey and Sansa. Changing “you’ll marry a king” and “no, that’s Sansa” to “you’ll marry a high lord” and “no, that’s not me.” Davos telling Gendry how he became a lord to help his son and it actually got Mathos killed in battle.

The main bullet points of season 8 were largely what I was expecting and I was at least in the ballpark about a lot of the details. Like did I predict King Bran? No, but I knew he belonged in the south because he named his direwolf Summer. I knew the king or queen would be a dark horse and I was fairly certain Tyrion would be Hand. The few things I didn’t anticipate still seemed to validate the main themes and messages I thought that GRRM was going for. Like King Bran. Now I can’t believe I didn’t see it. Who better to “end the game of thrones” than someone who doesn’t want to play and also can’t be plotted against?

Gendrya is the one major thing that tripped me up. Seriously. I would have bet my fucking car that if Gendry didn’t die, he’d walk away from a lordship and be with Arya on her ship, even if the nature of their relationship was ambiguous.

So I could believe that they wanted or at least expected Gendrya to be endgame since season 1 and someone told them no. It could have been GRRM but I must admit that I have a difficult time believing that.

I guess I could see GRRM having the point of their relationship be that Arya is upfront and honest about what she wants and Gendry respects her decision and doesn’t turn into a bitter/mopey drunk. Or that Gendry dies and Arya doesn’t wallow in it forever… But there’s so much that makes me think that Gendry is meant to be the “sweet” part of Arya’s bittersweet ending, and at least be her True Companion. Not to mention they’re still too young to really have a relationship in the books. Well, at least Arya is. And those particular parallels to Robert and Lyanna fall pretty flat in my opinion if they’re not romantically involved. I mean, come ON. How the hell could it NOT end with the possibility of Lyanna’s niece/ Jon’s sister and Robert’s son/D-ny+Rags cousin???

Possible HBO Shenanigans:

I thought it was kinda funny that HBO UK–not Game of Thrones but an official HBO account– made a tweet shortly before 8x02 aired implying that Arya is eighteen… when she’s more likely sixteen (lots of reasons, not to mention that Maisie has even said that Arya is sixteen.) And sixteen is the age of consent in the UK anyway. As far as I know, that was the only public attempt by HBO to quell controversy in an already hugely controversial season. Like, after The Bells, I don’t think anyone at HBO tweeted about “Ideally, good rulers don’t commit 2.5 times the amount of war crimes as the Night King.” So I do have to wonder if there’s a reason that they’re particularly invested and protective about Arya’s reception…

There was a huge shitstorm when Tommen and Margaery got married and pretty much most of that stuff was off screen. Sure, Arya’s a bit older and Maisie was in her 20s while Dean-Charles was still in his teens… but people do tend to get much more outraged when it’s a girl with an older guy than vice versa.

There was also a big shakeup when AT&T acquired HBO and they got a new CEO early in 2019, a couple of months before season 8 aired. The former CEO seemed to have been championing Bloodmoon, that prequel that got canceled recently. He might have been pulling more for a potential Arya show back when the season was still being written… the new people at AT&T also seemed extremely upset over what the budgets for GoT and Big Little Lies did for their bottom line.

While HBO has stated emphatically that there are no current plans for an Arya spinoff, they were sure to tack on a “right now, a sequel […] doesn’t make sense for us.” I do believe that this is something they want to have in their back pocket. There’s a lot of interest in the idea and if House of the Dragon does well, I won’t be shocked if five+ years down the line we get at least a movie or a limited series about Arya. It’s by far the easiest, since her character can be isolated from everyone else and there are tons of cool places to explore. Hell, if they were really desperate, they wouldn’t even need Maisie Williams to come back. They could just recast and say she’s wearing someone else’s face to hide from mercenaries or something.

GRRM gave an interview talking about how certain characters who have “a high Q rating” (popular) get pushed into more screen time. Bronn is almost certainly one of those characters. He’s always been a self-serving asshole, but the things that made him feel more like an affable rascal—his funny lines, his genuine and open fondness for Podrick—are all but gone in season 8. Not to mention that there’s the implied possibility he’s dying from some “pox.” In the outline for season 7, he’s much closer to “Season 8 Bronn.” Like, he was the one who was originally going to ask Jaime about Widow’s Wail and call Joffrey a “See-You-Next-Tuesday.” When Olenna said it, it was pretty funny. But coming from Bronn, it was a real dick move. I could believe that their “treatment” of Bronn in season 8 was a bit of a middle finger to him. The same way I could perceive Gendrya’s portrayal as being a “fuck you” if they weren’t allowed to actually be endgame.

TL;DR: Gendry and Arya are one of the very few healthy couples in the entire series, and it could be argued that they even get “special” treatment. Both of them lived and while Arya certainly has been traumatized, she is not a walking dumpster fire who wouldn’t be good for him. It would have been only too easy for them to be portrayed as incompatible or worse but they weren’t. Their breakup is over a virtual nonissue. So it’s not out of the range possibility that they were a victim of executive meddling.

And please spare me any “bUt D&D aRe ToO STuPId tO dO tHis.” I’m not campaigning for them to win Pulitzers any time soon, but the notion that they’re complete nitwits is just silly. They both have M.F.A.s from very good schools and their scripts/outlines that I’ve read have a lot of really clever and really well-thought-out references, ranging from history to poetry to literature to even The Rolling Stones.

I’m not saying that they intentionally did all this stuff but they certainly could have if they wanted to.

#gendrya #gendrya positivity #arya x gendry #gendry #arya stark #anti jonerys #anti daenerys #game of thrones #a song of ice and fire

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invertedfate · 5 years

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Random Ask Dump - Anniversary Edition (50+ REALLY OLD ASKS!)

Going through OLD AND CRUSTY ASKS to try and chip away at the inbox. HERE WE GOOOO...

That’s an interesting idea, and I could run it by Cake, but I think it would honestly be a LOT to track from a programming perspective. Especially ‘cause killing Sans is gonna result in a “bad ending,” so to speak.

An attempt was made by Undyne to have all three hang out at the same time. Papyrus was SUPER EAGER. ...but one thing led to another and there were many messy explosions of chemicals and lots of smoke. Alphys had to step in before things got out of hand. It was all very daunting for her. Pap and Undyne are VERY LOUD, VERY AMBITIOUS PEOPLE.

I actually have some ideas of some side comics I may do at some point! :o It’s just that right now there’s a lot going on.

I need to poke Carni about that at some point. He’s just been very busy with other projects!

Clearly he’s standing on the “out to lunch” sign.

I wanna say that it’s very possible in theory. :o It probably affects them differently since monsters’ emotional state affects their magic and their physical state.

I do like little easter eggs like that, though I’m not sure where I’d fit it in atm just ‘cause I already showed Pap’s room, haha.

I made the chase theme for Mad Dummy as well as Mad Mew Mew’s battle theme. @pinewsun made the battle theme for Mad Dummy, and @thomasthepencil made the Season Dude battle theme and MD’s overworld theme. :o

That’s a really fascinating conundrum! You’re absolutely right- if IF was a standalone game, then from a writing standpoint, having more subtle implications would make sense! The reason I chose a different approach for IF is because it’s set after Flowey’s already known to be evil and I like to give different POVs rather than stick to just Frisk’s.

That’s an interesting thing, actually- both fights lean heavily on the fourth wall. Both are treated as climaxes for their given routes. It’s funny because Asriel’s fight is a lot more straightforward and less meta by comparison.

I agree! The thing with Papyrus is that he’s extremely powerful- he just doesn’t want to kill. But it’s a deliberate choice not to kill- he’s able to force his attacks to do next to no damage. He’s also pretty darn crafty, as he made the Gauntlet himself. It really is just a case of Undyne’s personal biases and concern for him.

That was a deliberate choice. :O Papyrus is very influential toward Frisk. He is best skeleboi.

Papybot loves you, anon! He just wants to feed you WHOLESOME SPAGHETTI!!!

It is possible to whistle through teeth. ...alternatively, magic. As for the music, Undertale implies that the music is heard! Maybe it’s just... a thing that exists in this world. Or it’s just meant to be a silly meta joke. I try to keep it somewhat ambiguous other than occasional nods to it. Chara’s pants are lighter because I just... felt like it, I guess? Haha. I wanted their feet and pants to stand out more from each other, so they have khaki pants. As for the Undyne fight being animated, well, this ask is old by now, but Sparks was the one who was down for it.

Well, the teaser’s been out for a long time now, but that’s the idea! It’s also why this has been in production for so long. The Determinator has some really over the top attacks (that weren’t even shown in the teaser), and Sparks animated in Photoshop. That’s how hardcore he is.

Shhhhh. Don’t give me ideas. I’m already slacking on Tem Village. :P

Sometimes I do have slumps and burnouts (see Antipode’s lengthy hiatus), but breaks lead to me being refreshed and coming back with even more enthusiasm than before!

Oh, there are a lot of these throughout the comic. For instance...

Flowey appears in a few background shots in the Ruins!

When Sans says “or maybe...” he looks at the empty flower pot. This was one of the earliest bits of foreshadowing about who created Flowey, and nobody noticed it at the time!

The MTT vending machines initially look like this but have helpful items.

And then they look like this, with an angry face and pose- Mad Dummy has possessed them!

As of Part 38, it’s been revealed that he did first meet Asgore as “Santa.” As for whether or not he knows the truth, time will tell. :o

Oh, these are excellent suggestions for calls! I’ll try to keep these in mind.

So, I believe Glyde uses the Mysterious Door motif. Jerry uses the motif in its battle theme- I believe it’s a mix of original motif and Wrong Number song?

Sans is a master of power napping. He probably gets a decent amount of sleep, though.

There are a lot of ways to interpret Pap’s lack of sleep! In IF, he can get by without it, but he also has a lot of reasons to avoid sleeping. Some reasons include productivity but also due to a looooot of heavy baggage. More on that later.

I think sleep can definitely make monsters healthier. Rest = better mental health as well as physical health, and with how important mental and emotional help is for monsters, that’s very important!

They just really like socks. Socks are warm. Socks are slinky. And googly eyes are the best. So they took on the form of a really eccentric sock puppet and sock collector. Scandalous.

It also has Alphys’ motif, as the two are the leaders of the royal guard!

I would say the lack of Asgore as an influence has left Undyne slightly less grounded? Like, she had Toriel and Gerson in her life, but her relationship with Toriel is... definitely not quite as close? Like, Toriel by that point kept people at an arm’s length due to losing multiple children (including one from old age). So, while they were on friendly terms until the aftermath of the DT experiments and the tapes’ release, it was more like mutual respect and a sorta professional relationship with Undyne admiring Toriel and wanting to spare her from more heartache.

That is a really interesting idea. While that didn’t happen, I do need to maybe revisit the grumpy dog at some point or another. He’s still a lil’ salty.

I think in terms of layout it won’t change much, but there will be new/different content for sure. :O

Mad Dummy’s base design is mostly original, but she has a wig + headband from DIO from Jojo Part 3! Fun fact: While MTT has Kamina shades, Papyrus’ goggles are loosely based on Simon from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann in terms of color. :O

So basically, when Asriel defeated Frisk, he had the power over the timeline to reset it as he pleased- in theory. However, that power was overwhelming for him, and due his lack of understanding OF said power and one last ditch attempt at resisting from Chara, things went wrong.

There is a track that takes some inspiration from Rage Awakened. It’s not released, and it’s not exact, but it won’t be released for a WHILE. Like until the part comes out.

I think it’s just the fact that tacos are so random. Like, my biggest beef in that regard was that OG Underswap had a lot of arbitrary replacements for things in UT and not all of them made sense. Like, if Sans was to make a foreign food, ramen would’ve made more sense due to Alphys being weeb trash, haha.

Okay, so the rough timeline iiiis... Falling: - Cyan - Green - Orange - Blue - Purple - Yellow Dying: - Cyan - Orange - Blue - Purple - Yellow - Green

You know, it’s funny because this ask is super old, but that’s basically sorta what happened. :O It became a beach-themed resort.

Never forget MTT fangirl Temmie’s pool escapades.

I think Forgespring for me because I had to make the tileset myself (it took a few months, I think?), but Aquarius was definitely in the works for a while. But once I had the tileset from Fours, the rooms were very easy to design!

That woulda been pretty rad! Maybe I can find another spot for it one day, haha.

I think for Dohj, I’d have to check with Fours, but I’m certainly not opposed at some point? Right now, the following chars can take questions: - Frisk - Papyrus - Sans - Undyne - Alphys - Napstablook - Mettaton - Asgore - Chara - Flowey

Cyan appears in Part 45! :O No answer about orange for now, tho.

I do have vague ideas for Tem village. I just haven’t had time to go back and do it.

Stay tuned and you may find out! :O

Hmmmm... I had a lot of fun with MTT SPIRAL and the Determinator, tbh. They were both very time consuming, but I love how they came out! Also, buff Jerry.

Turnabout Storm. :)

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It’s a really awesome fan crossover that works way better than it should. :P

None taken! We know that with headcanons, everyone is gonna have their own interpretations. These are just the voices we liked for Fireglobe Production, but everyone has their right to their favored interpretations!

Yeah, Knight Knight is one of the coolest CORE mercs in the original game. It was fun to repurpose them for Inverted Fate as royal guards. :o It made room for unique encounters in the CORE in the form of them robots- as Undyne would rather use machines than other monsters to do her work.

Personally, I see it as an Asriel motif, but I also acknowledge that at one point it WAS gonna be an Asgore motif. Toby has a habit of just using whatever music works for a scene (see sans. at the snail farm.)

I do have a few ideas, though I won’t say for what yet. :o

He’s likely made blueprints for that train. :P

It probably would just have different flavor text/progression!

So basically, I treat the starting motif for BAaTH/Power of NEO is just a “true hero” motif.

MTT is definitely major in IF! As for whether or not he’ll have a hangout, time will tell. There’s definitely more to resolve with him, though.

I’m gonna remake at least a few of the older tracks, including Regret. My goal is just to bring the OST to a similar standard of quality.

So, animated parts coming up: Part 47, Part 49, Part 50. There may be some other parts, but we’re gonna wanna scale things back for a little bit for the sake of all our sanities.

I go with both. ;)

Honestly, probably fairly similar to the bully fight in the Ruins- which is why I ultimately decided not to do one. Both fill similar archetypes, though I think if I did do a battle, I woulda still had Flowey interrupt at the end and scare them off.

It’s a very emotional scene. Far more tragic than her geno death, IMO.

Well, the main goal in that regard is the remasters (Part 9 is in progress). Otherwise, I do think these hiatuses are good for working ahead. I’ve still gotta do more work, though, because my buffer this time around is a lot smaller from the trial-hiatus buffer. Alas!

Honestly, the website is the best thing to happen to IF. It’s allowed us to do so much with the comic’s presentation that would be impossible with imgur. NORIX IS THE BEST...

#inverted fate #ask dump #asks #undertale au #behind the scenes #undyne #frisk #papyrus #asgore #sans #alphys #lore #toriel #fallen humans

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