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#Coping with Animal Companion Loss
eileensmith · 11 months
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Guided Meditative Prayer for Healing Grief After Losing an Animal Companion
Pet Grief - A Prayer For When You're Grieving The Loss Of Your Animal Companion. Losing a beloved pet is an experience that touches the depths of our hearts, leaving an indelible mark on our lives. Find solace and healing in our Guided Meditative Prayer to overcome the grief of losing an animal companion. Experience emotional renewal and inner peace.
Guided Meditative Prayer for Healing Grief
Overcoming Loss with Guided Prayer
Discover Inner Peace and Emotional Renewal
Download Your Healing Prayer Now
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temis-de-leon · 6 months
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MC with a selfish best friend
MC mourning the loss of a long toxic friendship with the help of the brothers.
Characters: demon brothers and fem!MC (written as platonic, but could be read as romantic)
Masterlist , Part 2 (kind of)
CW: continued discussion about weight gain and weight loss, eating as a coping mechanism, obssesive and manipulative behaviour, emotional blackmail, a glimpse of animal neglect, a tiny nod at suicide, MC trying to hide her feelings, anxiety, TLC from the brothers
A/N: kind of self insert because I'm writing my own experience, so this isn't the most relatable MC. Still, I hope you enjoy it! Remember I'm not a native english speaker, so there might be some grammar mistakes.
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Back then, not that long ago, MC was completely sure she wouldn’t go any further in life. She was stuck in college, in her family and her friend group. There was a dynamic she could work through and, although it could be better, she wasn’t one to complain.
It was a flooded basement with filthy water, but at least it lacked rats.
She just needed some time to start working on herself. Go to therapy, lose some weight maybe? Start cooking again and stop wasting money on fast food. She did use to enjoy spending time in the kitchen and experimenting, after all, but the only things she cooked during her last months in the human realm were mugcakes and pasta. Not necessarily nutritious, but easy to make.
Thank god she had her best friend.
Her companion in the basement, the one with the flashlight.
MC wished she let her hold her hand too.
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“She’s overthinking again. Not good”
“Look who’s talking”
“Hey! It was just a joke!”
“Should we talk to her?”
“Maybe when she comes back, else we’ll give her a heart attack”
“Yeah, Lucifer would kill us”
“Oh, so now we’re doing this for Lucifer?”
“Don’t be selfish, Mammon”
“Who ya calling selfish?”
“Ugh”
MC listened carefully, softly smiling at Beel and Levi’s voices drowning Mammon’s in an almost silent screaming match.
She couldn’t see them from her position, her upper body completely sprawled over the armrest and her line of sight lost in the ashes of the chimney. The fire cracked, threatening to die in front of her, but it was difficult to get up when her body weighted so much. She was tired and hungry and nauseous and even the idea of sitting straight sent bile to her mouth.
Then someone walked into the common room, shushing harshly and getting the other brothers to cease their fighting. Whoever it was, probably Lucifer or Satan, must have thought she was asleep.
So MC closed her eyes, hiding her face in the crook of her arm and basking in the comfortable silence. She could hear them still; the shuffle of cards, a plastic wrapper, buttons and joysticks.
The newcomer got close to her, covering her body with a blanket and sitting at her feet before opening a book. There was enough space in the couch for at least two more people, but MC still curled up, trying to make more room for him. She stopped in her tracks when he grabbed her ankle in a gentle grip, a gesture that brought some warmth where her pants didn’t reach.
Would someone add another log for the fire? Everyone seemed too comfortable to move.
At least the blanket was thick. Pure hellish wool or something, because every animal in the Devildom was just a bigger scarier version of those in the human realm. It was also, however, softer than any type of textile she could’ve ever find back home, so the creature could spit fire for all she cared.
Suddenly, the brother caressing her ankle tightened his grip for a short moment, demanding her attention. When MC opened her eyes, she found Satan smiling at her with no one else in the room. She must’ve fallen asleep after all.
“Dinner is ready”
He let her stretch, unconsciously comparing her to a cat when she arched her back and cracked every possible bone in her body. Satan wondered if that ever hurt, but MC seemed to enjoy it very much whenever she had the occasion to do so, like when they came home from classes after a long day or when they bought groceries for the whole week and Beel. 
“Did you not sleep well last night?”
“Not for a while, no”
“Is that so? Something troubling you, MC? Anything I can help with?”
“I don’t know”
She sounded sincere, but Satan didn’t buy it. Only a month had passed since MC came back to the Devildom, looking a bit more tired than when she left at the end of the first year of the program, and she’d acted ecstatic when she learnt she would be living with them again.
He was sure the problem relied in her human phone, something she didn’t have last year and Diavolo had kindly allowed her to keep.
All of his brothers, even the eldest, were greatly impressed when MC showed them how she unlocked the device with her fingerprints, as well as the human versions of Devilgram, Deviltube and Akuzon. That was a fun day, but time passed and soon the phone became an inconvenience. Someone at the other side of the line was taking their beloved human’s time, leaving her exhausted in the aftermath of their conversations and, if Satan vision’s was correct, teary eyed.
That would not continue. Not on his watch.
“We’ll look into it in another moment. Right now, let’s go with the others. Aren’t you hungry?”
“God, yes!”
They both chuckled and he forced his thoughts away. They could wait for the time being.
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Beel didn’t judge her, but she didn’t feel as happy as she thought she would whenever they sneaked in the kitchen at the late hours of the night.
Opening the fridge door with slow movements, trying not to make noise while taking plates or bowls and eating in silence between giggles and short whispers brought a sort of familiarity. And Beel never judged MC. Why would he? He ate even more than her. He’d keep going long after she was finished, full enough to want to puke everything, and MC would feel a wicked satisfaction knowing that no matter how much she ate, there was someone that would eat much more.
Those nights she’d go to bed feeling sick and greasy, too regretful and high on sugar to be tired. Then, by morning, she’d force herself to eat breakfast and go on with her day just to get whatever sense of normality she could reach.
Although, lately, things had been slightly different.
They still got together at night and filled their mouths to the brim, but Beel was adamant about MC going to the gym with him when the morning came, before everyone was out of bed. Of course she’d said no since the beginning, but he kept insisting, saying she didn’t have to exercise if she didn’t want to.
MC still said no.
Then Asmodeus put his input.
“I’m not going to tell you what to do, hon’, but you aren’t getting your 8 hours of sleep and you’re adding calories during the night. That’s horrible for your skin!”
And had it been her mother saying that, MC would’ve lashed out, rejecting opinions she’d been hearing for years over and over and over again, but this was Asmo. The Avatar of Lust. The most beautiful demon in the entire Devildom. MC guessed she wasn’t being fair to her mother, who also loved her and hated seeing her so sick and tired all the time, when it was Asmo she couldn’t ignore.
“I get anxious when I go to bed” she finally confessed.
MC could feel Satan’s eyes on her, but he stayed silent.
“Spend the night with me” intervened Belphie with an honest smile, a muted worry in his eyes “I could make you so tired you wouldn’t want to get out of bed”
“No way!”
Everyone looked at Mammon and several sighs filled the room. The demon, although deeply blushing, kept talking with an overbearing smugness.
“If someone’s gonna sleep with her, it’s gonna be me! Don’t worry MC, the Great Mammon will chase the nightmares away!”
“I think sleeping with you would give her nightmares, actually”
Mammon turned to Levi, ready to swing at his brother, but MC talked before the fight started.
“It’s not nightmares, Mams, I just feel anxious. You know, like, I can’t stop thinking”
“About what?”
She looked at Satan, who was staring at her with a calculating glance, surely remembering what she told him days before when she fell asleep on the couch.
“I don’t know… Everything, I guess”
All of them stayed silent, ignoring what they were previously doing. It didn’t feel uncomfortable, but MC wished someone said anything.
Of course, Mammon spoke first.
“Well, that’s a lot”
“No shit, you moron”
Levi finally got smacked and the rest of them went back to do their own thing, letting MC’s lack of sleep behind. A part of her wanted to keep the conversation going, but she felt too embarrassed when she tried to open her mouth again, especially having Satan looking at her like a hawk.
You don't want me to stare at you? I want to. What's the problem?
She achieved to ignore him in the end.
That night she stayed in her room, pacing, chewing her sweatshirt’s aglet while humming that Phineas and Ferb’s song and turning her headphone’s volume to the maximum with a different music threatening to deteriorate her hearing.
Anything to distract herself and not go to the kitchen.
Finally, hours after bidding the brothers goodnight, MC threw herself on the bed. Her feet were aching, its footprints surely engraved in the carpet, and she forgot to take her headphones off, making the position uncomfortable, but the important thing was that she didn’t have the need to eat anymore.
However, Beel still knocked her door at dawn.
MC stared at him when she opened, bleary-eyed and mouth as dry as cotton, the hem of her pyjama pants so high they looked like pantaloons. He, on the other hand, was completely awake and seemed ready to conquer the day.
“Before you say anything, I’m not going to the gym today”
There was a heavy silence for a couple of seconds.
“Then why did you wake me up? We have classes tomorrow”
Beel stared at her with a worried expression.
“We don’t. It’s Saturday”
“Ah”
She could’ve sleep longer? MC wished she was mad at him, but his puppy stare was hypnotizing.
“I want to go for a walk today. And I want you to come with me”
He lowered his gaze for a moment, biting his cheek while waiting for an answer. MC turned around and looked at the window, still unable to decipher what time it was by looking at the sky.
There were a few things MC missed from the human realm. The sun was one of them.
“We could go to the park, feed some birds and then have breakfast somewhere else. I swear I won’t eat the seeds this time"
She chuckled, rolling her eyes when he smiled back. Then she looked down at the rolled pants and her bare legs.
“Is it cold?”
“I don’t think so, but you can borrow my jacket”
MC sighed and rubbed her eyes, waiting until the white spots disappeared before walking towards her closet. She wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again, she knew that.
“Let me change and then we’re going. But you owe me one, Beel!”
His smile was too wide for him to answer.
.
.
Breakfast with Beel ended up lasting three whole hours, which was understandable, and they spent the whole time talking about nothing and almost everything, both of them clearly avoiding the subject of her sleeping habits.
MC really did want to talk about it, but then again, what did she want to talk about exactly? She had trouble falling asleep, yes, and she’d gone back to eating her feelings, but she couldn’t point out the reason. Her nights were filled with paranoia, making her revaluate every piece of interaction she’d had since she got back home from the Devildom months ago. Did she spoke correctly? Did people understand that she was just studying abroad and not begging for attention?
She hoped her best friend dropped those accusations. MC would never stoop so low. Just thinking about it brought tears to her eyes.
“Don’t you want anything else?”
MC looked at Beel and the stack of plates surrounding him at the table, mugs and cardboard boxes stained with chocolate, whipped cream and frosting. Her side of the booth was much cleaner, but when she lowered her gaze the only thing she could think of were mugcakes and pasta and the taste of bile in her mouth at the sight of her bloated stomach.
“No, I’m fine”
She knew he loved her. She knew she could talk to him and he would listen and maybe even hold her hand, but the small restaurant was already filled with demons and witches and whatnot and MC knew she’d only be able to sob the moment she’d open her mouth, so she stayed quiet.
Beel nodded, going back to his food with a strange calmness. Maybe he was close to being full?
But no, it wasn’t that.
MC gasped when she felt his foot weakly tapping hers before going under it to support its weight. A small comfort, like the prelude of a long awaited hug.
He didn’t know how much she appreciated it.
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Winter had already reached the Devildom the day MC opened her closet and stared at her clothes. No matter what she chose, everything was at least a size bigger.
She guessed finally going to the gym with Beel did have some payoff.
“Is something wrong, MC?”
Asmo turned the lights of her bathroom off, walking where she was silently standing while staring at the discarded clothes around her.
“You don’t feel like dressing up today? We can stay home and do some self-care if you want”
MC turned around to look at him with gratitude. She knew how much he wanted to go shopping, especially with her. Finals ended just the day before and everyone had been so occupied they’d barely seen each other outside classes and meal times.
“Don’t worry, it’s not that. It’s just that… everything feels wrong. I think I lost weight”
He chuckled at her revelation, hugging her waist and kissing her cheek between giggles.
“You’re taking care of yourself, silly! Whatever are you doing with Beel in the gym, I wonder…?”
She laughed and lightly hit his arm, showing no ill intent, and Asmo smiled in response, not bothering to hide his lewd expression.
“Don’t be nasty!”
 “Oh, I’m just joking! But you know what this means, right? We get to renew your whole closet!”
MC turned around again, perfectly knowing that she could either spent her monthly allowance on clothes or start thinking on how she could rock the oversize streetwear style.
She sighed, trying to hide her smile with no success before speaking again. Asmo’s eyes were stuck on her.
“Very well, then” she wasn’t finish talking yet when the demon clapped his hands and jumped in excitement “I’ll trust your criteria”
He gasped and hit her arm in return.
“As you should!”
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“So… how do I look?”
Mammon whistled, clapping and signalling her to turn around in response. Once she did a little twirl, he clapped even harder, not stopping even when she blushed in embarrassment and ran towards him to stop his overly excited appreciation.
“You look mighty fine, MC!”
“Stop!”
“Has anyone ever told you how hot you look?”
“Stop!!”
They were both laughing, her chasing him all around his room with burning cheeks and a gigantic smile.
The shopping bags waited patiently at the door, half of them already empty with a pile of clothes folded on the couch. Mammon had insisted on a private catwalk the moment he learnt she’d gone shopping with Asmo, his offense completely gone barely half an hour after starting the show in his room.
Every time she changed in his opened closet he’d cover his eyes with his hands and every time she came out with a new outfit he’d scream praises like a madman.
MC wasn’t used to this level of compliments and he sure was making it hard to stay calm.
“C’mon, go change again!”
“You’re acting insane right now, Mams”
She was smiling like crazy and her cheeks were hurting, but she didn’t want it to stop. When was the last time someone had been this hyped over her looking pretty? She couldn’t remember.
Then her phone rang.
MC stopped smiling when she saw the name on the screen.
She thought about answering and spoiling a nice evening because of a sour one-sided conversation. Was it worth it? Sure her friend could wait a couple more hours, right? She’d survived without MC the whole year she spent at the Devildom uncommunicated, after all.
“Is it The Unnameable?”
MC stared at her phone for one more second before turning around to look at Mammon, who was kneeling on the couch with his arms crossed over the backrest, eyes peeking with curiosity and another feeling she couldn’t identify.
“The Unname… Robdemor??”
He nodded, blushing and looking away.
“Yeah. You know, like, her name brings bad luck or some shit”
“She doesn’t bring bad luck”
MC didn’t sound as convincing as she wanted to and Mammon’s incredulity proved her point.
“Don’t be stupid, MC”
The pot calling the kettle back, she wanted to say, but no words came to her mouth. She was being stupid, wasn’t she? Everyone at the house already knew what to expect whenever her phone ringed or vibrated and they always did their best to distract her so she could leave the damn thing behind. She suspected Belphie even turned it off at one point.
Staring at her feet, trying to voice her feelings, MC talked again.  
“She just… needs me sometimes”
“Sometimes??”
Mammon got up, going around the couch to reach her. He looked flabbergasted, eyes opened wide and a myriad of words stuck in his throat.
The phone stopped ringing, but soon a flood of messages interrupted the silence to call for her attention instead. When she looked back at Mammon, he had frustration in his eyes.
She decided then she couldn’t bear to see him like this, so serious and reasonable. Was it too late to go back to chasing each other, laughing while trying new clothes? She’d been capable of keeping her feelings to herself since she could remember, but Mammon wouldn’t let her do that and she feared the moment the rest of the brothers decided enough was enough too.
God, she needed to talk, but not right now. Talking would make it real and she still wasn’t strong enough for the whole situation to be real.
In a matter of seconds her eyes were watering and she felt as if her throat had thorns stuck in her flesh, but before she could do anything about it there were arms wrapping around her. MC wasted no time hugging Mammon back, trying her hardest not to spoil any tears. The tags in the back of her new shirt poked her skin, making her squirm and get even closer to Mammon’s body.
He was rocking her side to side while petting her hair and there was no doubt he’d deny the whole ordeal happening afterwards, but she let herself enjoy the feeling anyways. It was nice being taken care of.
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It was the first time MC had gone to bed so early since before college. Her eyelids felt heavy and the bed was soft and comfortable, at least three blankets shielding her from the cold outside that froze her window and sunk her room in darkness.
But she couldn’t stop staring at her phone.
She’d turned the vibration off days ago, but that didn’t stop the notifications from showing up on the lock screen and, although she could also take care of that, MC still wanted to be able to read the messages without needing to open the app.
Her best friend talked about everything, good or bad. Mostly bad. How she thought her boyfriend was cheating on her, even when she was the one cheating on him, how much she was eating because there was no one to stop her, how tired she was to even clean her cat’s litter box. She’d say if MC were there everything would be so much better, she wouldn’t feel so lonely.
She didn’t ask about MC once.
“You’re thinking so hard it’s giving me a headache”
MC’s body violently jerked at Belphie’s voice.
He’d entered the room in silence, closing the door and approaching her bed without making any noise. Seeing her freaking out made him snicker, but he was too tired to fully laugh and simply laid down next to her.
“Jesus, Belphie”
“No, just me”
“Ha ha ha”
Her sarcasm didn’t affect him in the slightest. MC watched as he closed his eyes and offered his hand to held hers in a firm grasp, probably not wanting to let her go during the night.
“Turn that damn thing off” he growled against the pillow when a new message showed up.
“I’ve seen you sleep on the ground before; you can’t complain about some light”
“Watch me”
She thought he was just joking, challenging her like a small child would, but Belphie managed to surprise her when he rolled over her body, grabbed the phone and threw it to the other side of the room.
“Belphie!”
He shushed, sealing her lips under his hand before hugging her body with all four limbs, trapping her under the covers.
MC could’ve complained and hit him until he let her go to retrieve the phone, but that would’ve meant pissing him off and staring at the screen for another hour or until her friend decided it was time to show some interest in MC’s life.
Whoa.
So that’s what it was.
That simple, uh?
MC waited for something to happen at her epiphany. Nausea, panic, heavy breathing. Instead, she felt an overpowering sense of relief. Her heartbeat evened and the frown she didn’t know she had in her forehead disappeared.
No headache, no memories. For once, no nothing.
“You’re not dying, aren’t you?”
Belphie’s head rose, looking at her with suspicion, but her eyes were stuck in the ceiling.
“Why? Would you feel guilty?
He stood over her then, pouting and frowning, and MC had to stop herself from laughing.
“Okay, you know what? I already said I was sorry. You can’t hold that against me for the rest of your life”
“I will as long as I can get something out of it”
“You’re evil”
“Said the demon”
His head fell face first on the pillow with a thud and if she didn’t know him any better, she’d be worried about him suffocating to death during the night.
“Why did you ask that, tho?” MC finally talked.
“Your heart stopped for a second” he shrugged and mumbled, his hold on her hand stronger than before.
“Oh… Well… Don’t worry. I’m okay”
“Are you sure?”
No, not really, but she didn’t want to talk about it in that moment. Maybe another time, when her speech wasn’t slurred due to sleep and she could organize her thoughts with a clear mind.
She hummed as an answer before speaking one last time.
“Goodnight, Belphie”
“Sweet dreams, MC”
He’d make sure of that.
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MC had been quiet for a while. Not out of sadness nor ire, but something much more private. Something that left her pensive and still, staring into nothing with a serious expression. She laughed and talked with the brothers and, from what he heard, she enjoyed going to the gym with Beel, but Lucifer knew there was another factor escaping his reach.
Whatever it was, it changed MC for the better, so he was happy.
Even when the strangest ideas crossed her mind.
“I think I’m going to cut my hair”
He looked at her, clicking his tongue in disapproval when he saw her sitting sideways in one of the chairs with her feet resting in the other. She had a book resting in her lap. How long had she been looking at him and not reading?
“May I ask why?”
“I need a change”
Lucifer stared, taking his glasses off before crossing his arms over the document he was previously reading. MC got up and walked, zigzagging her way towards his desk as if she was drunk, but she looked as hopeful as ever.
“Did something happen?”
She nodded, ignoring his question right after.
“One of these days I’m just gonna… grab a glass of wine, go to the bathroom and bam! Haircut”
He raised an eyebrow, trying to hide a smile at her words. He hadn’t seen her so playful in months and the sudden change felt like a breath of fresh air.
“Do you even like wine, MC?”
“That’s not the point”
“And you shouldn’t use scissors while drunk, especially near your head” he ignored her “If it’s money you’re worried about, I can pay for a good hairdresser”
She laughed and shook her head, partially sitting on the desk. They stayed silent for a few seconds and Lucifer let himself observe her, how she bit her bottom lip deep in thought and how her fingers intertwined with a certain force. She was probably hurting herself at that point.
“I just really need a change”
He could tell there was more she wanted to say, but that seemed to be enough for the moment. The silence afterwards felt full with comfort.
“That’s fine”
MC nodded and sent him a small smile before going back to the chair, this time sitting with her knees stuck to her chest, but before he could put his glasses on to continue his work, she spoke again.
“Here’s what we’re going to do: I cut my hair in the bathroom and then you take me to the hairdresser to style it. Sounds good?”
“Are you going to drink while using the scissors?”
“I’m not a child, Lucifer”
“Might as well”
“Hey!”
“Just joking” he laughed, but MC could tell there was some seriousness behind his smile.
“I drink wine, I cut my hair and you check I don’t stab myself on accident, how about that?”
Lucifer pondered about it, envisioning himself behind her and watching over her reflection in the mirror, a bottle of wine in the countertop and another of Demonus waiting for them in the music room. She’d be the one to clean the aftermath, that bit was obvious, but something told him she wouldn’t really care about that.
The more he thought about it, the less strength he had to fight it. She could’ve asked Asmodeus or Mammon, but she asked him. MC wanted him to be with her during her progress, as stupid as the method was.
“Sounds like a plan to me, MC”
Her smile at his words was worth millions.
.
.
It wasn’t until several hours had passed that MC wondered if Levi invited her to his room with a hidden motive in mind.
The anime came out less than a day ago and she’d never even seen an ad about it, but he’d thoroughly claimed it was made for her.
And she could see why he would say that, honestly.
Sure, no ancient dying star granted her any mystical powers that allowed her to soar the skies or wear an alarmingly short sparkly dress; and she didn’t have an animal sidekick or a romantic interest that only appeared at night for some reason. She didn’t have an arch nemesis either, but she did have the closest thing.
MC was the selfish one, apparently, because how could she? How could MC have the audacity to ignore her best friend’s messages in her desperate times of need? Her boyfriend broke up with her because he discovered the cheating and no one was there to remind her of feeding the cat, neither to monitor her diet nor to fix the consequences of her bad decisions. She was in the lowest point of her life and MC dared to lose weight and spend time with her new friends? Outrageous!
MC unlocked her phone and stared in silence at the new text and voice messages, as well as some missed calls.
You disappoint me, MC.
After all I did for you?
I’ll die and it’ll be your fault.
I’ll die and I’ll make sure you’re the one to discover my body.
You’ll never be able to forget about me then.
You’re disgusting.
MC stared at the screen, not knowing if she should laugh or cry about it. In the end she chuckled and forced down the sting in her throat.
The TV in front of her suddenly turned into a kaleidoscope and she squinted as the heroine jumped from platform to platform, blasting her wand and singing spells. If she understood correctly, the cheery character was fighting her way through the first big boss of the season, her friends close behind her.
She could feel Levi’s eyes on her, no doubt studying her reactions to see if she liked the anime as much as he did.
“Hey, Henry!”
MC turned to look at him and smiled brightly at his rosy cheeks. She expected him to explain some hidden lore or the meaning behind the soundtrack, but he surprised her with his next words.
“Yeah?”
“I haven’t told you yet, but your hair looks so cool!”
“Oh!” she widely opened her eyes in appreciation, showing her teeth in a beaming smile right after “Thanks, Levi!”
“You look… eh… upgraded. Well, no, not upgraded. Erm…” he avoided her gaze for the next few seconds before pausing the anime, letting the room go back to silence. MC kept quiet, trying not to laugh at his awkwardness so he wouldn’t misunderstand the situation.
“You look really pretty, MC. Even better than her”
Levi nodded at the TV and MC stared at the heroine, the pause conveniently showing her winning pose. Big sparkly eyes winking at her and a knowing smile occupying half of her face, as if she was approving Levi’s affirmation.
MC felt the need to cry right then and there, but she held it in.
Her phone lighted up one last time before she grabbed it and turned it off in anger. She had a couple of seconds before the screen permanently went back to black, letting her read the last message.
Who do you think you are? How could you do this to me?
MC seethed. She knew who she was, even if she was still learning. Her hands itched and she forced herself not to throw the phone on the ground with all her strength. She still needed it to talk to other friends and relatives, after all.
After an entire minute filled with tense silence, MC spoke, suddenly meek and shy.
 “Hey Lev…”
“MC?”
He was staring her with caring eyes, unsure of what to do or what to say.
Fortunately, for the first time in a long while, MC knew what she needed to do. For herself and no one else.
“Would you help me change my phone number?”
She could write down the numbers of those she cared about the most and send a message asking them not to share hers without her permission.
Take care of her arch nemesis without destroying the entire world. Accept the help of people who showed joy at her improvement. Buy new clothes, change her style, cut her hair.
God, walking without that heavy weight on her shoulders would be difficult and painful, but she’d rather die before letting her ex best friend destroy her will and power one last time.
She laughed with a choke and Levi gasped her name.
She was crying.
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@ourfinalisation
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lackadaisycats · 11 months
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Hi Tracy, i wanted to ask a somewhat personal question. How do you deal with losing beloved pet? I recently lost my 9-year-old tortie a month ago to kidney failure and GDV and even though i still got three other babies to dote for (and they're all lovely), it's really hard to feel as much love as i did with my tortie. She was my first cat and was incredibly loving and patient with, helped me immensely while grieving for my father's passing a few years ago.
With her gone, it really does feel like a lot of me also went with her. It makes living very hard. I made tiny sculpture and wood soldering in her memory but i don't really know how to deal with the actual emptiness inside me. Sorry for the word vomit but i figured since you also lost a precious cat before, you might have insight for this situation
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved tortie.
I don't have any special skills for dealing with death, really, but I suppose I can speak a bit about personal experience.
I think it's natural to feel a yawning emptiness when something so intimately intertwined in your life - a constant companion, a source of joy, something around which your daily schedule is structured - is suddenly gone. It can be a very lonely sort of grief too, as the loss of a pet doesn't generally come with the same community and ritual that human death does. To others, your dear companion was perhaps just an animal. Not to equate it with human death in the broader scheme, exactly, but it can mean personal devastation, compounded by being alone in coping with it. Societally, we probably do ourselves some significant harm believing we must rapidly "get over" losses like this.
There's no getting-over-it that I know of, anyway, but there is the knowledge that the nature of grief changes over time (it sounds like you're no stranger to that). The stormy waves that knock you about with the immensity of the loss gradually give way to more placid waters. The sadness remains, but grows gentler and maybe sweeter even, because it creates a quiet space to reflect on the pet that enriched and graced a chapter of your life with their presence.
In the meantime, while awaiting some peace, I personally find there's an analgesic effect to making the feelings of grief actionable. The meditative nature of art and the act of memorializing a companion animal won't fill in that void, but it can help you start to process and accept it, to find a way to transmogrify it into a repository for your feelings and memories of love. I'd say keep making sculptures, make a scrapbook, draw a picture of her - anything, if it puts you in a different state of mind as you're doing it.
Looking after animals that are in need of care and attention in the moment, even if you feel emotionally distant, might help you regain some footing too. Setting up shelters for feral cats and fostering rescues are some things I like to do. There's a sort of grounding, self-rescue interwoven in focusing some energy on the living.
Most of all, grant yourself time. Do yourself the kindness of not feeling bad about feeling bad. Mourn without believing you must rush to find a cure for the sadness.
If, however, you are suffering or finding it impossible to function day to day, please do reach out to seek qualified counseling.
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microwavedautism · 10 months
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Why are all of the companions (excluding Jaheria and Minsc) so easy to ship with eachother.
I feel like Minthara and Wyll could have an interesting dynamic going on if given the chance.
Lae'zel and Gale is sweet, he would be so interested in her culture and stuff and she would listen to his infodumping (she wants to understand Fareûn after all.)
Astarion and Shadowheart could learn to swim together... Er, while they're tadpoled of course.. sorry Astarion.
Gale and Astarion have the unique dietary requirements and Gale and Karlach have the bomb squad they could bond over.
Karlach, Minthara and Lae'zel could teach Gale to fight with swords and the like (Lae'zel and Minthara would do it with a 'It would help nobody if the wizard died' kinda vibe for the first act at least)
Wyll and Karlach taking care of their horns together (bonus crack idea, Halsin shifting to a horned animal, a deep rothè perhaps, and joining them)
Lae'zel learning to dance with Wyll (She tells herself it's good dexterity practise)
Astarion and Shadowheart having a little bookclub, Gale and Wyll join sometimes but Astarion has a tendency to point out everything wrong with the books they read so it doesn't happen often.
Gale asking Astarion to fact check every vampire book he finds (+ Mirror Image!!)
Shadowheart, Lae'zel and Gale have meetups after ..the events about coping with loss of faith (sometimes featuring Minthara)
There's so many good ideas!!
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doumadono · 1 year
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Hey so I didn't think I'd need to use this, but if your Emergency Requests are open, I could seriously use some comfort right now..
So I was supposed to get a kitten soon from a friend who's cat had just had babies and I haven't had a cat in years since my previous baby died in 2021 during an extremely hard time in my life. And I was so incredibly excited to meet him and I had all of the stuff ready for him to come home to me, I just had to wait a few more weeks for him to be old enough. Well yesterday I got some horrific news that he had passed away and I spent about 3 hours crying so hard about the loss of a kitten I never even got to meet and I'm still extremely torn up about it.
Could you possibly write something about some of the Hashira (preferably Sanemi, Tengen, Giyuu, Kyojuro, and Obanai) helping their partner (they/them pronouns) deal with the grief of losing a beloved animal? You don't have to do all of those Hashira if that's too many, any of them will work fine. I just feel so swallowed up in this and I really don't know how to cope properly right now.
Thank you so much, my love💜
Hashiras & s/o who lost beloved animal - headcanons
A/N: I'm truly saddened to learn about your loss, my dear. Even though you didn't have the chance to meet that wonderful furry soul, it's completely natural for you to grieve. Your heart and home were ready to embrace them, showering them with all the love they could ever need. Take all the time you need to navigate through the mourning process. Of course feel free to reach out to me – whether it's here or on Instagram. I'm here for you ♥ I trust these small headcanons will provide a measure of solace.
MASTERLIST
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Sanemi Shinazugawa
When he notices his partner's heavy heart due to the loss of their beloved animal, Sanemi decides to take a straightforward approach. He invites them to join him for a training session. With a mix of tough love and encouragement, he pushes them to channel their emotions into their movements. As they spar and practice together, he reminds them that strength comes from within, and sometimes pushing through physical challenges can help ease the weight of emotional pain. And in his own gruff way, he lets them know that he's there to support them every step of the way.
Tengen Uzui
Tengen understands the power of distraction and beauty. He takes their mind off the grief by whisking them away to a serene garden or a lively festival. He's the epitome of flamboyance and indulgence, but in this case, his extravagant gestures are all about making their partner smile again. He encourages them to express their feelings through art or music, even if they've never tried it before.
Giyuu Tomioka
Giyuu is quiet and reserved, but he's incredibly sensitive to their emotions. He doesn't overwhelm them with words, but he's a steady presence by their side. He brings them calming teas and sits with them by a tranquil river or under a cherry blossom tree, offering silent support. He shares stories about the strength and resilience of nature, reminding them that life is a cycle of beginnings and endings.
Kyojuro Rengoku
Kyojuro Rengoku, with his boundless energy and enthusiasm, knows that sometimes comfort can come in the form of a delicious meal. He spends the day in the kitchen, whipping up an array of their favorite comfort foods. The aroma of delicious dishes fills the air as he presents a table laden with a feast of flavors. With a warm smile, he encourages them to eat to their heart's content, reminding them that even in moments of sadness, there's solace in sharing a good meal and finding joy in the simple pleasures of life.
Obanai Iguro
Obanai's approach is gentle and soothing, grounded in tradition and mindfulness. He introduces them to the art of meditation and deep breathing, guiding them through moments of inner peace. He believes that by embracing stillness, they can feel their animal companion's presence in their hearts. He encourages them to plant a tree or a flower in honor of their beloved animal, fostering a connection between life and remembrance.
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queeniecook · 3 months
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December 14
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It's hard to believe how much Este has grown since she was born. I remember when she needed Caleb and I for everything, now she's holding her own head up, crawling, pulling herself to stand up…the list goes on and on. Soon she'll be walking around the house. Caleb has already baby proofed everything he can think of.
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Her friendship with Lucky is adorable. I remember my first furry friend - Salem. He was my constant companion when I was a toddler and up until he passed away when I was a kid. Sabrina became my buddy after that, she picked me as her person -she was a bit stand offish with most people so I felt honored. She was even there for me when I had my miscarriage. My two black panthers - Ares and Xena. They moved with me from Sulani to BrindleBay, they helped me cope with leaving my home and not being around my family. and my sweet Josie.  I still miss her so much.
Losing pets is so hard and I know one day Este will have to endure that with Lucky and Tucker as well. I can't shield her from that and it breaks my heart but I won't rob her of the love of special animals either.
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If she ends up being a vampire, she'll have to deal with loss more than the average mortal or even merperson. Caleb and I both hope she isn't a vampire but we will love her all the same regardless. It's more of not wanting her to face lifetimes of loss and possibly not being able to have kids of her own one day (if she ends up wanting them). But, I'm worrying. There's time.
But time moves fast.
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We all have to treasure the here and now and not spend our time worrying about tomorrow and I plan to treasure the time I have with my family all that I can.
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bunji-enthusiast · 2 months
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omgggg hiiiiii it’s me again 🤭🤭🤭
can I request some headcanons of Nanashi please? just general and mundane things like: is he ticklish? is he a good/bad cook? etc. 🙏🙏🙏🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🩷🩷🩷🩷
AOWWODOEOEN I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO SEND THIS IN
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Nanashi has a habit of shadowing people he cares about, and will only intervene if the person in question ends up in a dangerous situation. In the past due to his experience being a soldier on the front lines, on behalf of the goddess race-he lost too many people he cared about. He only has the best intentions however, and doesn't mean to be weird or shady about it, he doesn't do this a whole lot though.
Even if it had been so long that he lost his wings, Nanashi still somewhat can feel them there sometimes. It's like phantom sense, loss of limbs. On occasions of the phantom sense, he still gets reminded time again how he was punished for something he thought he had done wrong for, but he was injuring innocent people in that past of his. That was not honorable at all, and that in turn reminds him that he traded his wings for endangering innocents who done no wrong.
He treasures each and every animal dearly, on the off chance he will come across an injured animal: from whatever may seem to be the cause, Nanashi will help the injured animal and befriend the animal. The swordsman will travel with his animal companion until it reaches the end of it's life, when that happens, he is reminded of his race. He has a long life span, and will not be able to follow his companions into death. In spite of this, he takes his time in grieving them each and every time; as they were precious, Nanashi was granted the treasure of many good memories with them. At least, that is how he considers such a thing.
Nanashi is actually very good at cooking, not sous-level chef, but good enough that he can maintain meals for himself on occasion in spite of the fact he doesn't need to. He does it anyway as it gives him a sense of peace and normalcy as he will on occasion befriend people and cook for them.
There was a time in his earlier years of his existence that he had a problem with drinking himself to death, as it was the only coping mechanism to deal with the fact that reality will always somehow rear its ugly head. Reminding him that even if the world bore a beautiful event, there was always going to be something ugly. Nanashi has long since gotten over this problem, and prefers not to drink heavily, only having one drink or two on occasion.
An effect is gaining wisdom through pain, though he rarely ever shares his grievances in this way as Nanashi was highly reclusive and closed off. However Nanashi was not a stranger to conversing, and will indulge every once in a while despite the fact he prefers the pursuit of challenge after challenge. People have very interesting worldviews that he had come to admire, and took that on as part of his own.
Nanashi's middle spot directly on his neck is not so sensitive, but more so ticklish, you could definitely get a more direct reaction out of him by doing so. Only if he actually trusts someone enough to be that close however.
This man has a habit of re-visiting places in Britannia that he has told no one else about, he likes seeing how this particular environment is doing. Because he admires how much more beautiful such places look when un-touched by war and damnation, especially unmarked by bad memories. Nanashi sometimes will even sit there for quite some time, and mediate in peace. Perhaps just sit with his thoughts so that Nanashi can work through whatever may have happened to him leading up to visiting such a place.
Despite his otherworldly strength, there are few that had truly bested the swordsman, he admires and burns their name into memory. Nanashi actually had taken lessons from those that had bested them, and grew so much more in combat and throughout his view of the way he perceives life. He endured countless lessons and experiences, that had allowed him to become kinder.
Even if he does appear to be menacing as some had told him outright, Nanashi is very good with kids. The swordsman often watched their silly role-plays, and had been pulled into some himself, he can play certain roles very well. Children actually think of him as a very cool person, and love his demeanor. We all know that kids can be very honest and blunt compared to age-old adults, so Nanashi sometimes will actually hear very open things from some of them.
As he had befriended the kids, Nanashi has a habit of visiting their village. He prefers their honest and beaming nature over the unpredictable nature of fully-grown people, though he no doubt can handle himself in such situations, children are actually very refreshing to converse with - even if they do talk silly. He had made many good memories, and loved them as if they truly were his own biological children.
Nanashi has literally rarely ever cursed, but will do so if required. He is a very good-mannered man, and will always speak formal and even regularly. Though you will never once hear a curse word spill from his mouth, he thinks better of himself to speak more wisely instead of having a sailor mouth compared to some people.
He doesn't consider himself a good man, not even a saintly one. Nanashi thinks himself far from that, his self-esteem is pretty blown off, though he will never let this aspect of himself shine through. He had always handles himself, and carries himself alone through out the world.
Even if he is a swordsman, he is pretty good at singing. Nanashi had sung before in front of various people, but he'd grown to do so less and less as he thinks his talent for singing had grown quite stale. Nanashi likes hearing singing from other people though, and often sticks around until their songs end. He disappears afterwards, he can never be found.
Though he does travel the lands, Nanashi doesn't always pursue a challenge, and prefers to go about the day without combat if he is in such a mood.
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🤔🦮How do Gallifreyans cope with extreme vision loss?
Gallifreyans can forge a telepathic bond with an animal to guide them, akin to a spacefaring guide dog. This deep connection allows them to navigate the world through their animal companion’s senses.
Or, they could just use some tech, but that's not half as fun.
Gallifreyan Biology for Tuesday by GIL
More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴
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compassmili · 2 days
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Have any of your pokemon ocs had an encounter or sighting of a legendary or mythical pokemon?
SMILES REALLY WIDE SO THAT MY TEETH AND GUMS ARE SHOWING IN A SORT OF UNSETTLING DISPLAY. LIKE AN ANIMAL ABOUT TO POUNCE. YES. Under the cut because I'm shyyyy + Discussions of religious (child) abuse. Sorry for making Pokemon edgy it's partial projection and coping my baddddd
Okay so first off Gaia has a Spectrier on his team which. I don't have any lore or plot reasons yet because I have no clue what the deal with Spectrier is I just like that it's an emo purple horse.
Both Gaia and Ryne's stories heavily involve legendaries and mythicals! Ryne was raised as nothing but a proxy for Arceus, with no real purpose outside of it. Similarly, Gaia was raised with the same purpose but for Giratina. Both were isolated from the world and became apathetic/bitter to everything. Neither one really believed in either god, just followed the orders they had been given since birth. Neither Arceus nor Giratina really connected with either girl, never sending messages or communicating with them. Despite this, they were both still shoved into their roles as vestals.
Ryne always felt a connection to the moon. She'd sneak out at night to look up at it, wishing that one day she'd be that far away from it all. When she was 14, she eventually broke away from it all. As she was running away, a neon green wing flittered to the ground next to her. She didn't have time to think about it at the time, but it was the first sign from Cresselia.
Since, green feathers (The lunar wings or whatever they're called) always seem to appear wherever Ryne travels. The moon shines a bit brighter wherever she's staying, providing light for safe nighttime travel. Her companions are never troubled by poor sleep. And when she looks up at the moon, sometimes it feels like the moon is looking back at her.
Gaia, comparatively, always felt a pull to darkness. She always attributed it to her association with Giratina, but in truth, she was marked by Darkrai. Her nightmares, memory loss, how anyone around her got hurt- All signs of her connection to it. When Gaia escaped from her own situation, her memory loss was at an all time high. Even now, she can't remember anything from before she met Ryne. Blood's afflicted by horrific, never-ending nightmares. In the corner of her eye, she can see a black and gray cloudy mass that always disappears when she focuses on it. It's weird, though, how being around Ryne seems to help Gaia's symptoms. <- Bonded pair chosen by Cresselia and Darkrai respectively
Like Cresselia and Darkrai, Ryne and Gaia keep each other (And their surroundings/potentionally a far larger scope) in balance. Also, in this canon, Cresselia and Darkrai aren't enemies like how they're often portrayed in Pokemon canon. Rather, they're a pair tied together by fate, and sort of in a cursed love.
It's also possible that Johan has seen Rayquaza before? I haven't put much thought into it but it's absolutely a possibility. It's also possible that Lexi has seen some mythicals in his time as a researcher.
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write-on-world · 3 months
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icharchivist · 4 months
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I do like that Aerith's death and sacrifice are treated with the gravity they deserve, genuinely
Yes, it hurts, but I prefer that to everyone looking sad for five minutes and then it's business as usual. I like that they really let you feel the loss
god yeah, this is really something that stands out to me about ffvii
Aerith was so beloved by everyone in the party. In the first part of the game she is such a well rounded character, with so much joy and mischief and her being there for everyone in need. She's always so sweet and helpful while also being torn by this legacy she is the only one left to honor.
And then she dies, and all of this still follows through. The whole party mourns her, each with their own connection to her making the pain even harder to get through.
Her death isn't about Cloud or the pain it gives him. Like, sure Sephiroth tried to have Cloud kills her because it's one stone two birds for him, he can get his petty revenge and full control on Cloud at the same time as he's getting rid of Aerith, but it's not Cloud's grief that is centered. It's really more about everything Aerith wanted to do, hoped to do, being taken away from her, and from everyone else who wanted to make that future with her.
After her death the game constantly reminds you of her because she was the only person with all the keys to save the world, and now everyone has to try, to figure out what she knew, what they could do in her place now.
Everything reminds them of her, they carry her with her.
and none of them sees her death as this sort of sacrifice because her death should never have happened, and they need this spite from how unfair it is to make them move forward.
In further parts of the game where the whole party assembles, you can always see a hole in the way they're gathering - like they're keeping a place for Aerith, like she is still a part of them, even if she's not here anymore. But they keep her in mind, even with her absence.
Not to mention how much her battle kit was genuinely unique and something gamers usually rely on a lot because it's genuinely a lifesaving kit, and losing her make you really realize just how much you relied on her just to keep everyone alive. without her, it's harder to survive.
and it's so touching and it's why i often talk about how important the thematic of Grief is, because they're all coping with the way her death left a hole in their heart, but they have to move on, if only because she sacrificed too much for them to give up now.
and on top of that it adds to the ecological reading of the game. The whole game revolves around the planet dying, about the mega corporation taking all of this life away, creating abominations in an attempt to control the planet, and leaving it for dead. Yet the planet can persist. it can live on. it can still find the strength to get going.
Aerith's name is pronounced like "Earth" in Japanese. Because she is the physical extention of this thematic. she is the flower that bloomed in a floating city detached from nature. She's been through grief, through pain and loss, but she carries on, she remains as strong as she could be. Shinra tries to experiment on her, abuse of her, treat her like an animal they can just breed for their own convenience. But she was resilient, she remained strong, as long as she could, only to be killed by the ultimate "perfect" experiment the Shinra has made trying to control the Earth once and for all.
And now as Meteor is approaching, as Shinra is using more and more of the Mako Energy to try to stop the Meteor even if it kills the planet in the process, as the Weapons awake to protect the earth at all cost even if they have to destroy humanity for it..... is when we lose Aerith. But our companions who have been fighting for the future of the planet still have now to fight for it, if only in honor to Aerith who gave her everything.
and spoiler alert but... it's not the last we hear of Aerith and especially how she influences the plot. Because still, like the Earth on the verge of dying, her will carry on.
And everyone still misses her so much.
in Advent Children, years after the conflict has been settled, all of the members of Avalanche wears a red ribbon on their arms as a memento to Aerith. And when they fight in battle together, they can feel Aerith with them. They will mourn her for as long as they're still alive, but they'll remember her, they'll talk about her, because she is still part of them, what they wanted to protect at all cost.
Aerith's death is often mentioned as being one of the most influencial moment in gaming history because of the way it makes you feel her loss every time as the game continues. It's just. really powerful in the way it's still woven in the narrative.
I miss her so much....
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shadowshrike · 1 year
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Why I enjoy the yips arc
Disclaimer: This essay is exactly what it says on the tin. If you hate the yips arc or get upset when people don't love Sawamura from the beginning, you will likely want to skip over this post.
For me, the infamous 'yips arc' sold Sawamura. To be honest, I don't tend to like MCs in anime. Especially shonen anime. They don't resonate with my personal experiences regarding competition, failure, and growth.
When I started Daiya, I didn't appreciate the loud-mouthed "hard worker" zero-to-hero sunshine teenage MC that was dead set on causing me as much second-hand embarrassment as possible. I only continued my journey with the story for two reasons: the rest of the team was more grounded, and the plot tended to not reward Sawamura's early egotistical or out-of-touch behaviors with instant success.
It was only when I hit the yips arc that I wanted to root for Sawamura to the end from the bottom of my heart. He was no longer just comic relief or a guy who would suddenly obtain convenient new skills to make sure he stayed relevant in typical MC fashion. While he had the yips, Sawamura proved himself to be a true competitor capable of meaningful fear. One who doesn't steamroll everything when it really counts because he's a prodigy protagonist with a can-do attitude that everybody loves. Yes, Sawamura remained a hardworking prodigy of sorts throughout Daiya, but he more explicitly needed the help of his team and deep self-reflection to reach his potential and move forward during the yips.
Now, there are a lot of people in the fandom who hate the yips arc. I completely understand not wanting to see your favorite character suffer. Especially when 'tough love' communication styles don't feel like love to you. It's also unpleasant to watch many beloved characters struggle to cope after a loss, all while a new villain (at the time) is introduced in Ochiai. But for me, who was not a Sawamura enjoyer until after this arc, I appreciated it. It became a core thread in the tapestry of Seido's team coming together during the aftermath of a foundation-shattering defeat.
A bit about the yips
For those unfamiliar with the real-life condition, the yips are a notoriously difficult thing to treat. There is no cure, just things to try or avoid. Even the help of the best psychological experts at top levels of play can fail to salvage a professional's game after years of treatment.
Many high school athletes have had their careers ended before they began by the yips, forcing them out of their sport entirely. Others recover with minimal help or after a short slump. The scariest part is that you don't know which camp you're going to be in, recovery or permanent breakdown, and you can switch between them at any point.
Although the prognosis for someone who develops the yips is uncertain at best, I've gone through and seen friends go through stages similar to what's shown in Sawamura's journey. I'd argue Daiya touches on these as realistically as it tackles the other disappointing realities of playing a sport. That is to say - it mimics the real deal with a touch of dramatic flair.
Now, I'm no expert on the yips or sports psychology, but I've simplified the 'stages' of the condition I have experienced or witnessed to exemplify why this arc resonated so well with me.
Stage 1 - What's happening?
Failure following a high-stress moment makes the yips seem like normal performance anxiety. It may take a while to realize what's happened if it only appears in specific situations. You try to shake off the bad memory with your normal coping strategies.
Performance anxiety is a constant companion in competition. Nerves after a bad performance, in particular, are expected. Sometimes you luck out and recover immediately. Other times you have to go back to basics or shake things up to reset, especially if your nerves only hit during performance situations and not practice.
You may attempt to ignore it in hopes it will go away like normal. When your usual attempts to get back in the groove all fail is when panic sets in.
We see this most clearly when Sawamura starts falling apart for the first time while throwing inside. It's a story shown through Miyuki more than Sawamura, strangely, since Miyuki's many responsibilities include helping his pitchers regulate their emotions.
As a catcher, Miyuki has a wide bag of tricks to get pitchers going after a slump. Although his caustic tactics are infamous, that isn't the only way he treats them during a game, nor does he treat every pitcher the same, especially after this arc. With Sawamura, Miyuki's go-to is riling him up. Sawamura loves to rise to a challenge. He pitches his best when someone's pushing him or he has something to prove.
But when Sawamura fails repeatedly to respond in his normal way to his calls inside, Miyuki realizes this may not be some normal fluke of bad control. We see Miyuki's darkened expression before he decides what brave face he's going to put on to get Sawamura back on track. He tries other tactics - joking to take the tension out of the situation and redirect anger to him, and eventually trying to directly reassure Sawamura - both of which don't fix the situation and lead us into the next stage.
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Stage 2 - I've got the yips, but don't pity me
You realize that the muscle memory is "gone". Something you used to be able to do without thinking about it now forces your brain to focus on every step. You struggle with failure, fear of not getting it back, and the sympathy of others.
When you're a highly competitive person in a competitive environment, being told that your sub-par performance is okay is an awful feeling. It feels like a person is sugarcoating the obvious truth to spare your feelings. What should be a gentle attempt to cheer you up from friends or teammates can become confirmation that they never believed in you in the first place, especially when you usually have a relationship based around friendly trash-talk.
In the worst cases, you may feel like they expected you to fail when you thought you could succeed. They pity you as the 'poor, broken player'. And the last thing you want to do when someone treats you inappropriately softly is validate that you need to be coddled.
This piggybacks off of the previous stage and can serve as a mental block throughout the entire treatment process. What stood out to me in the story was how we mostly saw yips through the other characters. Sawamura didn't really ask for help. In fact, he was unusually agreeable to everyone because he desperately wanted to prove that he could live up to their expectations without those expectations being lowered.
You may recall this is the same player who said, "their kindness hurts". Sawamura thrives in the high-drive teenage sports environment where friends talk shit to each other because they believe in one another. When that stops, it hurts.
Sawamura doesn't want sympathy. He doesn't want understanding or pity because he knows the way he played was indefensible. All he wants is to perform again.
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Stage 3 - Step away
Take a break from the affected activity to reset the brain.
This is to avoid cementing unwanted mental patterns. As they say, practice makes permanent. The break may be self-imposed or made mandatory by an authority figure. If you're part of an active team, it can include a demotion or temporary removal. That status change is demoralizing but necessary after the nature of your condition is clear, not only for the success of the team but for you to have less pressure on you while you change tracks.
This is also typically when your mentors start developing a plan to help you recover, or when they adopt a 'wait and see' approach before intervening further.
Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a sports psychologist at Seido. It isn't surprising, but it does mean we don't see that as a potential aid here. Instead, the treatment comes in a way many might consider 'old-fashioned' but is a reality for most people.
Taking an approach such as saying, "go run," without a full explanation of why the break might help or what the long-term treatment plan might be isn't something I'd personally recommend. However, it fits with what we've seen in the strictly hierarchical world of HS baseball at Seido. The coach very rarely or never explains himself to his players, and as readers, we often only find out what he's trying to do through analytical characters like Miyuki, who piece it together themselves.
This is also common, if not desirable according to some cultures, in competitive environments. The coach is in charge - you trust their judgment and assume there is a plan, whether or not you understand it.
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This phase is also where we see Sawamura's other established teachers deciding what to do. Chris tells Kanemaru to wait and see, and that he thinks Sawamura will recover on his own.
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Miyuki, on the other hand, waffles between not being able to spend time on Sawamura due to his own personal challenges as captain and responsibilities to his struggling team, and wanting to make sure Sawamura overcomes the yips. It's unclear if his motivation is due to guilt, friendship, practicality, or some combination of the three, but in the end, he decides he has to take a proactive approach.
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Stage 4 - Everything and the kitchen sink
If the condition persists, try new approaches to replace the lost technique.
This might include learning a new skill so you don't have to do what the yips are affecting, moving to a totally different environment or league, trying a new position, or pursuing any number of therapies. Typically, the old technique is not being used at this point except to test progress. Sometimes this phase will allow a player to ignore their condition by cutting out the problem behavior entirely, thus letting them return to their previous position without recovering from the yips.
There are two main examples of this I can think of that we see during the yips arc. The most controversial is the advice by Ochiai to completely change Sawamura's delivery so he can remain useful to the team. Although this was quickly overturned because of the reason Ochiai suggested it - not actually to help Sawamura's recovery because he was already pitching again at that point but to make him 'useful' - a pitcher changing his delivery to overcome the yips is surprisingly not without historical precedent as an idea. Daniel Bard tried a huge number of things, including temporarily becoming a sidearm pitcher, to recover from the yips.
Ultimately, Miyuki, Chris, and Katoaka settle on the skill replacement idea by teaching him the out-low. It's unclear if the original idea came from Miyuki or Katoaka, though the implication is this was Miyuki's plan, and Chris agreed with it when approached, reversing his previous stance that Sawamura could recover on his own.
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Regardless, all three seem hopeful that this new set of pitches can get Sawamura back in the lineup and help him recover mentally. Even with that hope in mind, they know he may or may not ever be able to pitch inside again. That isn't the point of teaching the out-low, though it would (and does) make him more dangerous if he can regain his original pitches. The point is to catalyze a return of Sawamura's confidence for his own sake and that of the team.
It also serves as a foundation for an important mental skill. Relaxing. As goofy as it looks, it works well for Sawamura and makes an enormous difference in his pitching.
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Stage 5 (hopefully) - Oh hey, it's back!
With a lot of repetition, experimentation, and a healthy dose of luck, you spontaneously regain what you lost.
If you're one of the lucky ones, your mental block may disappear as suddenly and quickly as it appeared. Something 'clicks' and you're able to perform as you used to. The recovery isn't always permanent, unfortunately, and even if it is, you'll need to practice on your good days to make the consistency stick after so long away.
Ultimately, Sawamura is able to recover after persevering through several games. It was both a joy to see and unsurprising, considering the nature of the story. In Sawamura's case, he ends up stronger for having gone through the yips. Not only mentally, after having his often naively optimistic nature challenged, but physically with a wider pitching repertoire.
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One thing I want to make clear before I finish
Although dealing with the yips does require incredible mental strength due to its frustrating and demoralizing nature, recovering or not recovering doesn't prove your superior or inferior character as a person. No person, technique, attitude, or therapy has been shown to reliably reverse the yips once they've occurred. All you can do is work hard, experiment, and hope it pays off. Thankfully for Sawamura, it did, and it allowed us to see him mature significantly as a person and a pitcher.
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mustangsart · 8 months
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Understanding Canine Depression: Signs, Causes, and Remedies
Introduction
The emotional well-being of dogs is a topic that has gained increasing attention in recent years. Recognizing and addressing canine depression is crucial for maintaining the health and happiness of our furry companions. This article explores the signs of depression in dogs, its potential causes, and effective strategies for alleviation.
Recognizing the Signs of Depression in Dogs
Dogs may not express sadness in the same way humans do, but there are several indicators that can suggest a dog is experiencing depression:
Changes in Appetite: A depressed dog might lose interest in food or, conversely, eat excessively as a form of comfort.
Altered Sleep Patterns: Like humans, depressed dogs may sleep more than usual. However, restlessness and insomnia can also be signs.
Lack of Interest in Activities: A noticeable disinterest in play, walks, or activities they previously enjoyed can be a sign of depression.
Avoidance and Hiding: Depressed dogs might avoid interaction and hide more often.
Excessive Licking or Grooming: This can be a coping mechanism for stress or anxiety.
Changes in Vocalization: Increased whimpering, howling, or silence can indicate emotional distress.
Understanding the Causes
Several factors can contribute to depression in dogs:
Environmental Changes: Moving to a new home, a change in the owner's schedule, or the addition of a new family member (pet or human) can affect a dog's emotional state.
Loss of a Companion: The death or absence of a family member or another pet can trigger grief and depression in dogs.
Neglect or Abuse: Past trauma, neglect, or abuse can lead to long-term psychological issues in dogs.
Health Issues: Chronic pain or debilitating illnesses can impact a dog’s mood and behavior.
Strategies for Alleviation
Helping a depressed dog involves several steps:
Veterinary Consultation: It’s important to rule out medical reasons for your dog's behavior. A vet can offer advice or treatment for underlying health issues.
Routine and Exercise: Establishing a consistent routine and ensuring regular exercise can greatly improve a dog's mood. Activities should be stimulating both mentally and physically.
Positive Reinforcement: Rewarding positive behavior with treats, attention, and praise can help.
Social Interaction: Encourage interaction with other dogs. Socializing can provide a much-needed mood boost.
Environmental Enrichment: Toys, puzzle feeders, and regular playtime can keep your dog mentally stimulated.
Professional Help: In some cases, consulting with an animal behaviorist or considering medication may be necessary.
Conclusion
Understanding and addressing canine depression is vital for the well-being of our pets. By recognizing the signs, understanding potential causes, and implementing effective strategies, owners can help their furry friends lead happier, healthier lives. Remember, a dog’s mental health is just as important as their physical health.
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Coping With the Loss of a Companion Animal
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“A righteous man has regard for the life of his animal, but even the compassion of the wicked is cruel.” Proverbs 12:10
Recently my wife and I had to make the very grievous decision of putting down our beloved golden retriever Honey Bear. She was a true blessing from God over the last twelve and half years. She was greatly loved by us, by extended family, and brightened up those she came in contact with in our community. I have lost other pets in the past through death and moving from place to place, but never experienced the pain and grief of losing Honey.
Upon receiving her urn and a plaster print of her paw we also received a short seven page pamphlet titled “Coping With the Loss of a Companion Animal | Support Guide for Families”. We found it to be helpful in the grieving process, and decided to share it with others that may have lost a furry family member or about to. We hope it helps in the grieving process, and our hearts go out to you in your time of loss.
Grief
Grief is a healthy and normal response to loss. Attempting to suppress feelings of grief can actually prolong the grieving process. Grief can feel like being lost. The familiar things we relied on to live each day are gone. We must find new anchors or stabilizers along the way and learn a new way of relating to the world and people around us. It is also common to replay the last moments of your pet’s life repeatedly in your mind, like a videotape that keeps playing the same scene over and over.
No one can hurry the process or provide a magic cure for grief. When grief is new, it is common to feel exhausted: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Changes in appetite, sleeping patterns, or health are frequently reported. Those who are grieving often describe feelings of being out of control, isolation, and loneliness. Things that seemed so important before may now seem trivial. Others may experience a sense of “life isn’t fair” or being in a tunnel or fog while everyday life swirls around them.
“I HAD NEVER GONE THROUGH THE LOSS OF A PET AND IT HIT ME A LOT HARDER THAN I EXPECTED”
All of these feelings are normal and part of the grieving process, which follows no organized plan, rules, timetable, formula, or schedule. Don’t be surprised if you start to feel better, and then feel as if a wave has hit you. There will be ups and downs in the process of grieving.
The purpose of healthy grieving is not to “get over” the death of a loved one, but to integrate the experience of a pet’s death into present life. In this process, it is not unusual for certain memories of your pet to become blurred. This does not mean that you are forgetting your pet or that your love is diminished. The truth is, you will ALWAYS love this very special member of your family. The hope is that as time goes on, the feelings of sadness will become less difficult. In the beginning, you may be sad to think or talk about your companion animal. Eventually, the hope is that you will be able to talk and even smile or laugh at good memories.
“I THINK IT’S GODD TO HAVE SOMETHING TO READ BEFORE OR AFTER LOSING A PET. IT’S A REALLY NUMBING EXPERIENCE AND YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO TALK, BUT READING SOMETHING IS QUIET AND REFLECTIVE THAT YOU CAN DO AT YOUR OWN PACE”
Guilt
Guilt and uncertainty are probably two of the most common emotions that people experience after the death of their pet. You may find yourself thinking continuously about what you perceive you could have, should have, or would have done to prevent or postpone your pet’s death Some suggestions for coping with guilt include:
1. Be truthful with yourself about why you feel guilty.
2. Write a letter to your pet expressing feelings you may be struggling with.
3. Do a reality check. Most people assume that if they had done something differently, the outcome would have been better. It’s just as likely, however, that if you had done things differently, the outcome would have been the same.
4. Remember that you are human. No one is perfect. Accepting your imperfections will aid you in working through your emotions.
5. Remember that all living things die. There is not always an answer to why bad things happen and you do not have to find someone (yourself or others) or something to blame. Realize that sometimes you are powerless and that you cannot control everything that happens to your loved ones. What you can control is how you choose to respond to the events that happen in your life
6. Try writing or talking to a trusted friend or advisor about your thoughts and feelings of guilt. Expressing your concerns in a safe and supportive environment can help you examine your emotions from a different perspective.
Seeking Support
While there is no standard duration for grief, the pain of loss normally eases with time. You can work through the process by applying healthy coping skills, such as talking with others about your memories and emotions and facing the grief, rather than trying to stay distracted or busy to avoid intense emotions. If your feelings . of sorrow or guilt have not diminished after several weeks or if they impair your ability to engage in family, social, work, or other functions, you may wish to reach out for support. Many people have found comfort in calling a pet loss support hotline, joining a pet loss support group, reading books about coping with the death of a pet, or talking with a trusted counselor or advisor.
Celebrate Your Pet’s Life
Some owners would like a way to memorialize their companion animal. The following are some ways that others have found helpful:
• Conduct a memorial service
• Keep your pet’s tags, toys, collars, bedding, etc. keep your horse’s shoes, tail, mane hair
• Save condolence cards or e-mails from friends and family
• Create a picture collage, scrapbook, story, or poem about vour pet
• If you chose cremation, you may keep the ashes in an urn or locket, or you may choose to scatter them in a place that was special to vour pet.
• Journal your pet’s story; how, when, and where you met, unique personality traits, nicknames, what you love the most, and what you’ll miss the most
• Donate time, money, or talent in your pet’s honor
“I HAVE A FRAMED PICTURE NEXT TO MY LIVING PLANTS, SO SHE IS SURROUNDED BY BEAUTY IN A SPACE THAT STILL FEELS ALIVE”
Adopting Again
The decision about bringing another animal into the home is very personal. Some families may decide not to adopt a new companion animal because of the emotional, physical, or financial demands involved with companion animal care. Others may feel the time is right to share their home and heart with another pet.
The time to consider adopting a new companion animal is when the entire family has had sufficient time to deal with the emotions of grief. Adopting too soon can lead to feelings of guilt or resentment toward the new family member. The important thing to remember is that bringing another animal into the home is not a betrayal of the one that is gone. You will never replace the one you’ve lost. You will simply be opening your home and heart to a new friend.
For families who want to consider adoption, it will be important to remember that each companion animal has a special and unique personality. Take time to discuss different sizes, breeds, or colors before making a final decision Consider the needs and temperament ol any surviving companion animals.
Losing a pet is extremely painful – you don’t have to face this alone. 24/7 grief support is available to all through our Pet Compassion Careline. CALL 1 (855) 245-8214 TO REACH A COUNSELOR TODAY.
Source at: https://www.gatewayservicesinc.com/grief-support (There are two pamphlets to choose from. This one and another titled “PRE-PLANNING AND PET AFTERCARE”.)
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to-hold-the-line · 1 year
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Name: Cal Kestis
Age: 23 (verse dependent)
Gender: Cis Male
Sexuality: Bisexual, Demiromantic
Profession: Scrapper (former), Jedi Knight (current)
Appearance: 5’9”, lean build, nearly shoulder-length red hair, green eyes, pale skin, freckles, stubble of a beard, one tattoo on his right forearm of an employee barcode from the scrapyard he used to work at.
FC: Cameron Monaghan
Personality: Compassionate, awkward with romance, noble, determined, can be obsessive in regards to his goals, always has to be active and/or working, still figuring himself out, intelligent, overly self critical at times, needs to learn to slow down and rest before he burns himself out, is slowly figuring out how inherently flawed the Jedi Code was and wants to do better for his eventual students, far too trusting, treats almost everyone around him (droids included) with respect and kindness, natural explorer.
Goals: To defeat Darth Vader and the Galactic Empire, to make Tanalorr a safe haven for those seeking refuge from the Empire, to train a new generation of Jedi.
Strengths and Powers: Strong in the Force, and can use it for telekinesis, Force jump/dash, enhanced spacial awareness, mind trickery, and mental/emotional stabilization. Adept with several forms of lightsaber combat, though he prefers to switch between double-bladed and dual wielding stances. Adept with an ascension cable (grappling hook). Decent shot with a blaster, though he's not entirely proficient with it. Increased agility, speed, and mental fortitude. Quick learner. He has a fair singing voice, though untrained.
Weaknesses: Cal tends to overwork himself, and be extremely harsh with himself when things go wrong. He blames himself for every loss of life that happens under his watch. He trusts a little too easily, often not questioning the motives of new companions (although he's learned to try and do that more often because of Bode. It's verse dependent.) Has trouble expressing negative emotions in a non-destructive way because he was always taught to repress them; he has trouble with showing romantic affection or coping with attraction for the same reason (again, he's learning these skills, too.) He's mortal, despite all of his Jedi sturdiness and agility. Often forgets to eat or rest when he's hyperfocused on a goal.
Likes: BD-1, Merrin, Greez, Cere, Bode(verse dependent), Kata, anyone who joins his crew, old stories and songs, history, archeology, anthropology, home-cooked meals, savory/salty foods, food in general, people with a good sense of humor/snark, rockets, small droids, non-hostile animals, gardening, watching both plants and people grow, ponchos.
Dislikes: Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine, Sith, the Empire, Bode(verse dependent), traitors, complaining about things that don't really matter that much to him(i.e. someone getting his order wrong at a cantina), putting himself before others, vast heights(when he's on unstable ground or has nothing underneath him), letting others down, bounty hunters(when they're after him).
Languages: Basic(aka English), Binary
Background: Wookiepedia Link
(The link contains spoilers for both Jedi games, but that's easier on me than typing out his entire bio, since I'm playing him largely canon-compliant.)
Additional Notes:
(I'll add these as I go along.)
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mysweetxcape · 2 years
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Five months.
It has been five months into motherhood.
The journey has been.... overwhelming - precious and enthralling. A mixture of chaos and solitude, empty yet occupied. But all in all, it was a beautiful journey - a journey that I thought I wouldn't be able to overcome but I did, somehow.
Believe me when it has been taking a toll on me, but I enjoyed it the most. They said it takes a village to care for a child, and sure it is. But it certainly takes a good team to raise one.
Inayra Aysha has been a blessing in disguise. She's the joy to my sorrow, the strength to my pain, and the companion to my solitude. Aside from my spouse, of course. Funny how back then I was never a fan of kids. I would always choose animals over babies but little did I know, motherhood has completely changed my perspective. It has changed me, to only be the best mother to my child(ren).
It's amazing how God has instilled a "special" feeling in every mother. It works in many ways that I can't comprehend. As the saying goes, "A gift from God."
It would be a lie if I said that everything is easy. I am definitely sleep-deprived. Five months in, I thought I'm okay but it has come to my realization that I am still healing...
I feel that my memory is not as great as before, and that is one thing I am upset about. I forget things really easily, and it has made me feel like to be "dumb." Five minutes in, and the next minute everything is gone to thin air. I wouldn't say completely, but most likely 75% when it comes to working. Believe me when I really tried my very best to be alert, but on most days I am partially dead.
Postpartum hair loss has been getting on my nerves too. There are days when I felt less beautiful. There are also days when I have missed my younger days. Sometimes I felt that I'm less appealing to my spouse too, haha. But fret not, he didn't mention anything, I hope. But indeed he has been amazingly good to me.
Some hurtful words do scar me. The constant disparaging remarks that I had received from my loved ones, who are no one other than my dad, saddens me. But this time, I didn't wanna battle forward. I chose to keep silent. There are days when I would still argue back, but I'm too tired to even argue back. I'm sick of it, apparently. I may appear to be fine in the eyes of the public, but I am still coping.
This gonna be a long process, but I will get there someday.
And to my Inayra, I may not be the best mum you want or you don't choose a mum like me. But regardless whatever the circumstances, I'd still choose you over and over again. Mummy and ayah love you so much <3
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