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moody-alcoholic · 11 months ago

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Chapter 1 - The Job.

I just don't know when to stop, if I don't have like 20 projects going at once I get bored. I waited until I had a name though, no longer will I be titling everything 'untitled XYZ fic. It was actually my fiancée who came up with the name.

Work summary: 141 retired and decided to open a delivery company. Only it's not a delivery company, it's a cover for less legal practices. Need a creepy stalker out your life? Someone owes you money? You need to disappear to a new life? Special Delivery Service has got you covered, for a reasonable fee.

Chapter Summary: 5.5k words, Simon x reader, female reader, name used: Dani (this is just personal preference, I don't like using Y/N.) You accept a job offer to work as an office admin for a commercial delivery company. Only the job is not quite as it seems and you come to learn neither are the people you work for.

CW: mentions of abusive ex, alcohol, language, flashbacks of domestic abuse.

masterlist - next

AO3 link

Enjoy <3

You see the job listing towards the bottom of the page:

Office admin wanted! To start immediately. MUST have a background in logistics. Send CV to: [email protected] Competitive salary.

It was short, sweet, to the point and the most promising job posting you had seen all day. You had a background in logistics, you’d just spent the last 3 years working as a supply chain manager. Mainly it was just organising warehouse deliveries but it was experience none the less. You copy the e-mail and send the CV, with a job posting like this you didn’t expect to hear a response back for a few days.

It was already 8pm you’d been applying for jobs all day. You decided to give up for tonight, the sofa and the TV were calling you. You head into the kitchen rummaging through the fridge to see what sad meal you would cook up tonight. You pull out a box of Chinese leftovers, they still smell good. You tip them on a plate throwing it in the microwave as you pour yourself a glass of wine. Turning the TV on channel surfing when your phone starts ringing, you go to pick it up. It’s not a number you know but you swallow your nerves accepting it in case it’s about a job.

“Hello?” You say.

“Hello is this Dani” A male voice comes through the other end.

“Yeah,” You reply feeling nervous all of a sudden, you sip the wine.

“You applied for the office admin job?” The voice says back. You have to think for a second, he can’t mean the job you literally applied for less then 10 minutes ago. You look back over at the laptop screen the e-mail still open.

“Hello?” the voice says.

“Yes, sorry yeah, wow I didn’t expect to hear back so quickly.”

“Yeah, we need someone to start immediately, can you come down for an interview tomorrow?”

“Sure what time?” You ask, you need this job, you need to get back on your feet.

“I’ll message you the time, and the address.” He says, you hear noise in the background sounds like a door slamming.

“Thank you,” you say as you hear the microwave beep.

“No problem, see you tomorrow.” He says and hangs up the phone. You take your food out the microwave and flop down on the sofa tuning into whatever soap was playing on the TV. You’re halfway through your food when you get a text with the address and a time. 10am. You copy the address and put it into google, now is a better time then ever to find out about this company. Special Delivery Service, SDS, you don’t know why that makes you chuckle, it makes you think of DFS, the sofa company. The address is close by only a few streets actually, you could walk there in about 20 minutes, that’s convenient at least. From the looks of the website it’s a commercial delivery company. ‘Discretion is our specialty’ it says as you continue reading, there is not much info just how to contact them for a quote. The pictures are mainly stock images bar the logo.

You’d never heard of them before but it’s not exactly like you’re in the market for commercial deliveries, it has good ratings though, that means something. You throw the phone to the side turning back to the TV. This was good, this is a good start it’s what you need to move on, maybe even a fresh start. It feels like the right time, newly out of toxic relationship, made redundant, all in less then a month.

Maybe you could use a nice change of pace, or maybe you would go to the interview tomorrow and it will be a complete waste of time. Either way it’s a step in the right direction and at least your mum will be happy you’ve found a job, you’re pretty sure she was dreading the thought of having to financially support you until you were back on your feet. Now you were definitely hoping the interview would will go well, the thought of having to rely on your mother to support you was the worst. You would rather ask your ex, Lord knows he owes you one. You finish the food and lounge around watching TV until you start to dose off. You peal yourself off the couch heading into bed, a good nights rest will do you good, besides you want to make a good impression tomorrow.

——————————

You get to the building early, it’s sunny weather for once and you can see the large doors to the building flung open. You peak in and see delivery vans, the whole place looks like it was an ex-mechanic shop. A figure catches the corner of your eye, he’s talking to another man walking across the floor, you can’t hear what they’re saying but the shorter man seems enthusiastic about something. Before you can get a better look they disappear out of your line of sight. You look over to what you assume is the customer entrance, and walk in. There is a man sat behind the counter, he seems distracted by something angrily typing on a computer. He sighs as you reach the desk, his eyes flicking up to you, he scoots back in the chair.

“How can I help?” He asks, his demeanour changing, he’s got a nice smile.

“I’m here for an interview,” You say suddenly feeling nervous. He nods getting up.

“Yeah of course, come through.” He says opening a hidden door in the counter and you walk though. He leads you through to the main room it still smells of fuel, this place definitely used to be a mechanic shop, you can see the covered up pits on the floor where they would access under the cars.

Your attention is drawn to the sound of laughing and you see the two men from earlier stood round a coffee machine. The taller man has his back turned to you while the shorter man is chuckling, hitting the taller man on the back. His eyes move to you, he’s fit, well built, tanned skin, he runs his hand through his slick mohawk, you could have swore he just winked at you. You turn your attention back to the man leading you as you reach a metal staircase.

The second floor-if you can even call it that-is furnished with sofa’s and a kitchenette, you can see a dart board and what looks like a pool table. Looks like a cool place to hangout. You feel bad for not asking the man his name as he leads you an office door. He knocks and you both wait.

“Come in!” a voice calls, you think you recognise it, its the same person you spoke to on the phone yesterday. The door opens and you walk in. You look at the man sat behind the desk, he looks older then the other people you’ve seen, his beard makes him look older then you suspect for some reason, you can see the bags under his eyes like he could do with long nap.

“Thanks Kyle,” He says as you walk in. Okay, his name was Kyle you’d have to remember that. He nods leaving the room closing the door behind you. The man behind the desk gets up as you walk over to him. He comes round putting his hand out for you to shake it.

“John Price,” he says as he nods at you smiling. You nod back.

“Sit please, coffee? Tea?” He gestures to the chair and walks back round the desk.

“I’m fine, thank you.” You look up at him smiling as you sit down. His office walls are massive windows looking down on the room below you can see people moving around now opening the back of the vans. You look back up at him as he takes a paper in his hand.

“3 years as a supply chain manager, studied business in college, pretty impressive.” He says putting the paper back down.

“Thank you,” you say, not that it’s really that impressive the only reason you did a business course was to make your parents happy. You had no idea what you wanted to do when you finished secondary school.

“So do you have any experience in warehouse management?” He asks leaning forward on the desk.

“Well at my last job towards the end, there was a lot of inventory organisation and I was pretty much left in charge of clearing the whole place out before the business went under.” You say, you’re not sure if that’s what he’s expecting, to be honest with the little research you managed to do and the vague job posting you were not sure what to expect.

“The jobs pretty simple. There are three main aspects, the first is the most important; the clients send us a list of good they need transporting, it’ll be your job to assign it to a driver then create the invoices, paperwork, the system is already pretty automatic. A lot of it is just data entry if I’m being honest.” You smile at him as he continues, so far it seems like a pretty easy job.

“The second part is when a client sends a special request, the system is not set up to handle them yet so they can come through as errors, with just an e-mail address attached. If you can assign them to someone great if not forward them on to me. The system will let you know if a driver has available delivery slots.” You nod as he finishes, you could handle this, data entry, assigning jobs to people, easy.

“Sounds good so far.” You reply. He nods.

“The last part is just your general office admin work, you’ll man the front desk, answer the phone, the boys will tell you if they need supplies ordering that kind of stuff. The hours are standard 9 to 5, 5 days a week, we’re closed Saturday Sunday.” He says spinning round in his chair and taking some paper from the printer.

“I live close by actually it’s really convenient.” You say.

“That’s nice, if you want the job I have a contract ready, you can start tomorrow then you’ll have the weekend off.” He says spinning back round straightening the paper out. That’s sudden, the job did say start immediately though, and you really need this job.

“Of course, that’s great.” You say smiling, hoping he can’t see your hesitation. He pushes the stack of papers towards you, you flick through the first few pages of standard workers rights.

“You’ll get 2 weeks paid vacation a year, sick leave and maternity leave should you need it kick in after a month of probation.” He explains, pretty standard. You flick through it to the end page with the salary break down. Holy shit!

“The job requires a certain level of…Discretion.” He explains. “You’re compensated for the inconvenience.”

“What like I can’t tell people were I work?” You ask confused. He looks at you like he’s trying to think of what to say.

“We have clients who expect their information to be handled, appropriately. On top of that some of your colleagues like to keep their work and home life separate.” He says eventually, you frown. That’s strange and he didn’t answer your question. You nod like you understand though, regardless you’ll take the 'hush money.' Especially since you’ll be making more then you’ve never made for what is basically a data entry job, and maybe having to answer the phone a few times. It almost seems to good to be true. You skim over the rest of the legal jargon and company rules.

“Any questions?” He asks as you pick up a pen, you shake your head and sign both pieces of the paper, then hand it to him. He smiles signing it too and ripping off one of the pages handing it back to you.

“One last thing.” He says hesitating for a second. “Do you have a criminal record?”

“No,” you shake your head. He stands nodding and you get up too, as he walks round the desk, heading for the door to his office and you follow him.

“I’ll get one of the boys to show you round before you leave.” He says opening the door.

“MacTavish!” He calls as you follow him out the room. You watch as a man appears at the bottom of the steps, it’s the guy from earlier who was laughing. He’s defiantly good looking there’s no denying it.

“Come show our new recruit around.” He nods coming up the stairs.

“If you have any questions let me know and I’ll e-mail you a full copy of your contract.” John says as he puts his hand out and you shake it.

“I will thank you,” you smile and he heads back into his office.

“John MacTavish!” The man says extending his hand out to you, he’s got an accent for a second you look at him confused.

“Another John?” You ask as you shake his hand.

“Aye, most people call me Johnny though.” He winks. Now you’re sure he winked at you earlier. He walks round you over to the sofa’s and the pool table.

“This is where we chill out between deliveries, or just in general. Do you play?” He asks pointing at the pool table.

“Once or twice, at the pub.” You say. You’re still trying to pin his accent, Welsh or Scottish? You’re too embarrassed to ask. He comes back over to you and you see he’s walking with a limp, it’s especially obvious as you follow him down the steps and he has to grip the banister for support.

“This is were we load the vans up with anything we need, toilets over there and next to them is the store room.” He says pointing to the rooms directly under the upstairs office. There are metal shelves filled with all different kinds of things from basic office supplies to what looks like medical equipment and machinery. The store room door is the only door you’ve seen with a key-code lock on it, makes sense. There is a long table surrounded by chairs and a projector against a far wall. You look over to see another man sat at the table typing on a laptop.

“This is Simon, Simon Riley.” Johnny says as he takes you over. He’s wearing a hoodie pulled over his head and a black surgical mask. Maybe he’s a clean freak? Or maybe this was what John meant by ‘Your colleagues like to keep their work and home life separate.’ You extend your hand out too him as you approach.

“Nice to meet you.” You say, he looks up at you for a second. His eyes are beautiful, a dark caramel, thick eyebrows and you can see strands of blonde hair peaking out from under his hood. He shakes your hand, his grip is firm, you swallow hard. He’s giving off a different vibe then the rest of the people you’ve met so far, you almost want to run away from him.

“Don’t worry about him he’s always grumpy in the morning.” Johnny says leaning into your ear. Simon rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to typing on the laptop. John, Johnny, Simon and Kyle, you repeat the names in your head so they’re burned into your memory. Johnny continues his tour showing you round the main floor, you were right as he explained the building used to be a mechanics until they took it over. Before that it was an abandoned munitions processing plant from the second world war. The building did look old, stylish red brick, huge arched windows that let in a lot of natural light. The doors were even old on rollers, thick and wooden. The more you looked around the more it reminded you of the old workhouses you’d seen in history books. Johnny leads you through to the lobby, the only part of the building that seems to have been renovated in the last 10 years.

“This is Kyle Garrick, we call him Gaz.” Johnny says as Kyle stands up and you shake his hand. He’s fit too, dark skinned, short hair and he’s got a lovely smile, London accent you can tell he’s local too.

“This will be where you work.” Johnny says pulling the chair out.

“I’m sure Price will give you the rundown tomorrow on how the system works, we’re still working on getting it up and running properly.” Johnny says enthusiastically. You nod looking round at the desk, there is a large printer/photocopier in the corner and a plant that looks like it’s seen better days. At least the computer is up to date and honestly you can work with this.

“So nervous for your first day?” Johnny asks as Kyle sits back down.

“Not really.” You say smiling.

“Good lass, that’s what we like to hear!” Johnny says patting you on the shoulder. Scottish, definitely Scottish. Kyle chuckles as he goes back to typing on the computer. You feel like now is the best time to take your leave. You thank Johnny and tell them both you’ll see them tomorrow.

“Wait a second lass, here.” Johnny reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a business card.

“Any questions drop me a message.” He smiles. You nod pocketing the card and heading out. You look back at the building as you leave seeing Johnny wave, you wave back awkwardly. Why would anyone care about keeping there home and work life separate when you work for a simple delivery company? You think back to Simon with the mask, maybe he’s just hygienic? Regardless it was a good job, close to home and good pay. You wouldn’t have to rely on your mum or your ex to get you through the month. At least that was a weight off your shoulders.

——————————

Later that evening your mother calls.

“Hey mum.” You say as you reluctantly pick up the call, not really feeling in the mood for her energetic energy, especially after Johnny’s enthusiastic tour.

“Hey sweetie! I was just thinking about you today and I thought I would call to tell you, Anne from church has a job opening at her son’s restaurant. You know Chris? He works at that nice Italian place, well I said you were looking for a job and Anne said she would put in a good word.” You sigh as you let your mother talk.

“It’s okay mum I got a job today actually. I went for an interview and they offered me the job on the spot.” You say.

“Oh sweetie that’s amazing where is it?” She asks, you pause, maybe telling your over sharing mother about a job you were warned required discretion was not the best idea.

“It’s just a small firm in the city centre, they were looking for a logistical analyst.” You say lying through your teeth.

“Oh well that sounds fancy, I hope it pays well if you’ll have to be trudging into the centre of London everyday.” You hear her chuckle.

“It does mum don’t worry, I start tomorrow actually.”

“That’s fantastic, I’m sure you’ll do great.”

“Thanks mum.” You say smiling. There’s a pause on the line.

“Have you spoken to Joe?” She asks, you sigh.

“No mother I have not spoken to him since we broke up.” You reply bitterly wanting to end the conversation now.

“He’s been asking about you, you blocked him or ignored him or something but sweetie I think you should talk to him he misses you.” You sigh, of course he’s turned on your mum, your sweet mother who couldn’t hurt a fly and always sees the best in people. Even toxic abusers.

“I’ll think about it mum, look I have to go I have an early start tomorrow.” You say.

“Okay well get a good rest and good luck for tomorrow I love you.” She says.

“I love you too,” you reply and hang up.

That night you dream of your ex. You’re still with him trapped in the cycle of wake, make him happy, work, make him happy, sleep, repeat. The verbal abuse, the physical abuse, the days he would lock you in the bathroom for hours on end.

You took the lock off the door when he moved out. You’re not sure why it just felt like the right thing to do. You bought a deadbolt for the front door and no longer sleep with the windows open, fearing he could scale the apartment building to get to you. That’s what he does in your dreams, he gets around all the precautions you put in place. You dream of him being in your space, questioning everything you do, insisting on checking your phone and e-mails, even your work ones. Anytime a male’s name came up he would grill you about it for hours, no matter what you said it always felt like he never believed you. But then he would make you feel good, take you to the bedroom and treat you like a princess and it was like he was a different person.

‘He’s just protective sweetie’ your mother says. ‘He loves you.’ The bruises on your arm would say otherwise, wearing turtle necks in summer became your fashion statement for at least a year. ‘He probably doesn’t mean it have you tried talking to him?’ Your brother was no better, to busy with uni to care, too much of a mans man to understand. He’s gone now though and that’s what you have to remember, it’s easier said then done.

——————————

The next morning you show up early. Your body feels heavy after the restless night. You walk in seeing John bent over Kyle’s shoulder as their looking at something on the computer behind the counter.

“Hey, maybe you can figure this out, we’ve been trying to get these documents to copy over and it’s just not working.” Price says as he steps back you walk round watching Kyle trying to drag and drop a file into a folder. An administrative error pops up.

“Mind if I?” You gesture for Kyle to move he holds his hands up rolling away on the chair as you try again. You’re not the most competent with computers but you could probably figure it out. You try compressing the file first then moving it and it works.

“What did you do?” Kyle asks.

“I think the file was too big so I compressed it, do you need it sent in an e-mail?” You ask looking at John.

“Yes please if you don’t mind.” You nod.

“Coffee?” Kyle asks as he gets up out the seat heading into the main building.

“Yes please.” You say turning to smile at him and pulling the chair over so you can sit down. Price explains how everything works as you get situated. He shows you the documents on the computer for how to answer the phone, and deal with walk in requests. The ‘system’ they have set up for assigning deliveries is basically just a glorified spreadsheet which is good, you can work with that it’s not too far out of your comfort zone.

“If you have any questions just call, there is a direct line to my office if you press 1 on the phone.” You nod trying to take it all in as Kyle comes back with a cup of coffee.

“I didn’t know how you took it so I just did milk.” He says.

“That’s fine thank you.” You reply, as he places it next to you. Then heads back. John tells you again to ask if you need anything then also leaves you too it. You’re looking through the computer making sure you defiantly understand everything when Simon and Johnny walk in.

“Morning,” you say to them smiling.

“Morning lass, guess we didn’t scare you away yesterday!” Johnny beams, he seems to have too much energy especially compered to Simon who is still sporting his hoodie and mask combo. His eyes lock onto you as he walks through the lobby, his glare sending shivers down your spine. In a strange way, you’re not scared of him, more intrigued. He walks through the counter to the main floor without saying anything.

“Sorry, he’s a rude bastard when he hasn’t had a coffee yet.” Johnny says.

“It’s okay,” you shake your head. You look through the window into the main floor watching Gaz open the large garage doors out to the street.

“Hey, if we’re both around at 12 want to get lunch together? I know this great sandwich place down the road my treat!” Johnny says. You nod, he really has a way of putting you at ease with his palpable bubbly energy.

“Right, I’ll see ya then lass,” he says and he heads through.

The morning goes quick or maybe it’s because everything feels so new and foreign that it takes you a lot of concentration to make sure you’re doing it right. Before you even try to do anything you’re already calling John in his office about the names, instead of it being Johnny, Simon and Kyle, it’s Gaz, Soap and Ghost. Gaz you remember but the other two it’s a 50/50. John laughs and tells you Soap is Johnny and Ghost is Simon.

Each time you give them a job they stick their heads round the door to pick up the invoice, you try to make it a habit of printing it out as soon as you assign the job, so it’s ready when they come in. You purposely give Simon a job over lunch so Johnny is free, it’s a little cheeky for your first day but you wouldn’t mind spending more time with Johnny.

When lunch comes around Johnny shows you how to set the phone to go to Price’s office and you both leave. The shop is right round the corner but by this time of the day it’s packed with people on their lunch break, you order your sandwiches to go and head back to work to eat them there. You’re both sat upstairs in on the sofa’s, it is nice up here and you can see down to the floor below you gives you something to watch while you eat.

“How’s your first day been so far then?” Johnny asks.

“Fine, it’s just getting used to the system that might take a while.” You confess.

“Yeah, you’re doing great though, my jobs have been smooth and easy all day.” He says. You nod.

“So how did you all meet?” You ask.

“Now that’s a story!” He says sitting up in his chair.

“We were all military together, SAS.” He says. That explains the company name Special Delivery Service, you chuckle it’s cute, funny now you get it.

“Why’d you quit?” You ask.

“Our time was up we chose not to re-enlist, it was Simon’s idea to start a delivery company, something easy we could do in retirement.” He says smiling at your interest.

“Did you ever kill anyone?” You ask, but then immediately regret it, you don’t know if that’s an appropriate question to ask. Johnny just laughs.

“Someone's got to deal with the bad guys.” He says winking.

“Don’t mean they didn’t fight back. Got a nice fucked up knee to show for it.” Johnny says slapping his left leg. That explains the limp he always has when hes walking.

“Has John always been your boss?” You ask moving it away from killing people and being shot.

“Price, yeah he was our captain, it just felt right letting him continue to tell us what to do.” Johnny explains, chuckling. You nod listening to him talk about their life in the military, he’s careful not to go too into specifics, but enough for you to understand it seemed like it was quite a dangerous job. Johnny mentioned something about bombs at one point, that’s scary.

“I bet you travelled a lot though?” You ask finishing your sandwich.

“Oh yeah! That was one of the perks I guess, been all over the place, met some great people.” Johnny says naming a bunch of countries off. You watch as Simon comes back reversing the van into the bay. He jumps out and heads straight into the store room. That reminded you you needed to ask for the code. Johnny gets up checking his watch and throwing his trash in the bin.

“Got a delivery to make, I’ll see you later.” He says heading to the stairs. You nod smiling. When you’re done you knock on John’s door before you head downstairs.

“Come in!” He calls. You go in, for some reason you get this feeling like you’re back at school walking into a teachers office about to ask them for the key to the storage room to get more paper.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he asks smiling, it almost immediately puts you at ease.

“Good, I was just wondering, the store room, Johnny showed me yesterday but he didn’t give me the code.” You explain. Price nods his head.

“You don’t need the code, it’s for the drivers only, it’s where we keep, sensitive equipment.” He explains. You nod feeling heat rush to your cheeks, maybe you should have asked Johnny instead saved yourself the embarrassment of this conversation.

“Got it, thank you.” You nod leaving the room and closing the door behind you. What kind of sensitive equipment? You hadn’t seen anyone moving anything in or out of there, and you’re pretty sure you saw Simon go in empty handed just now. You’re just more curious then ever. You look down the steps at Simon making his way up with a mug of tea in his hand. You wait until he has reached the top of the stairs before heading down. You smile at him, you can’t tell if he’s smiling back with the mask but you’re assuming he’s not. You make your way back down as he walks into John’s office without knocking.

The rest of the day seems to go by slower, your mind obsessing over the store room for some reason. It’s like an itch you need to scratch, you find yourself looking over to check it now and again. You get a few of those ‘special request’s’ John warned you about, you try to assign them but it doesn’t work. Clearly the system does not like it so you send them off to John. It’s almost like they’re encrypted, maybe you could figure out how to fix it and stop the system from freezing up every time it happens, a task for next week you think.

Jobs stop coming through around 3 and you spend the last few hours of your shift catching up on the other part of your admin job, then you find yourself cleaning the coffee machine. Johnny and Gaz leave early, apparently this is normal for Friday, you wish them a good weekend as they leave going out the vehicle entrance closing the garage doors behind them. You head to use the bathroom next, as you’re washing your hands you hear the door of the store room beep open and the sound of feet running in and out. You hear it open but you don’t hear it close.

You hold your breath, could it be? It’s open. You’re excited for some reason. You quickly slip out cracking the door. Sure enough the door didn’t fully close it’s stuck on the latch. Your curiosity gets the better of you, you can’t help it. You look round quickly, you don’t see anyone, you don’t hear anyone. You push the door open, it’s dark you can’t see inside. You take a step in and an automatic light flicks on. You gasp as you look around the room. It’s way bigger then you expected, so big there is enough room for a table in the middle. Each part of the wall is covered in weapons, knifes, somethings you don’t even know what they would be but they look scary.

The hairs are standing up on the back of your neck, it’s almost like your fight or flight has kicked in as your eyes widen. There are crates everywhere some open with what look like boxes of ammo. You let out a breath feeling fear rise in you, maybe it was airsoft? You move to look in one of the crates near the entrance. Nope those are real bullets. You shouldn’t have seen this you feel panic rising. This is bad and very illegal. You start to back out the room, slowly you’re trying to be as quiet as possible. Your body hits something, not something someone. You hear a sigh.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” It’s Simon. You slowly turn his head is tilted to the side his brow creased as his gaze burns into you. Fuck.

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gorgeouslypink · 1 year ago

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hey pink! I'm so happy, I've finally reached the void state and manifested and it's all thanks to you and @thedoona.

before I get into it, I was able to get into the void state for a few seconds prior to my success so that really boosted my confidence and faith.

my method:

i decided upon the lucid dreaming method. it just seemed the best way. but first i needed to learn to lucid dream. the void community loves fild and ssild but if i tried to do fild or something it would never work so i had to do other things.

#1: reality checks every hour

#2: go to sleep affirming i will get a lucid dream and enter the void

#3: wake up in the 4.5 hours afterwards, rmbr my dream and type it out on my phone notes, then stay up for a bit and then go back to sleep repeating the same affirmation

during the day, I did a meditation a day. I read that maintaining awareness in meditation helps you become aware in your dream and tbh I'm not the best meditator but I put it on my to do list everyday to meditate and I chose a video and would try it.

also I listened to subliminals, I used that apold subconcious file from your challenge and listened to these 3 subs for 30 minutes:

https://youtu.be/HMmycC8BRfk?si=AC29Y8uKna0qkaO4

https://youtu.be/uGLHAp1dDx4?si=K_2gcln0vZ4cSA1X

https://youtu.be/O7rhQq3YGME?si=b-yjxX8sm7FDbWVH

And this sub for 1-2 hour:

https://youtu.be/OlHUujYD9wI?si=6KK8jsyeQ_0H9_t6

i did this since Jan 27th and last night, not only did I get lucid dream but also I first just affirmed a bunch of stuff like I am going to enter the void, the void is easy, I am guaranteed to enter the void because I heard sometimes when people close their eyes during lucid dream they end up waking up so I was scared that happen to me so I affirmed for a bit and then I closed.my eyes and began meditating and almost instantly like in maybe 10 to 20 seconds I was in the void. I knew it because it was expansive and still and then I just affirmed for my void list to.come true and when I awoke this morning, I had everything.

I knew from the second I woke up because I have pretty bad body acne and I manifested all of that away. I manifested df and db and it feels so weird rn but ik I'll get used to it. I also manifested good grades, good friends, etc

I really wanted to thank you and thedoona and I'm so excited to go be living my dream life now!! Bye bye pink I will always remember and treasure you ❤️

Sorry for late response and congratulations love!! Have fun living your dream life, you deserve it! 💖

#void state #void success

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theviolettulip · 7 months ago

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Usopp-centric Fic Recs

Here they are, @pinkcrittertomb! I combed through the Usopp-centric tag on Ao3 and picked out (most of the) fics that I personally liked. I was gonna post when I FULLY combed through it, but it's been months and the tag keeps growing (yayy!!) so I'mma just post the 50+ fics I've got rn 😅

If you (or anyone else!) have any you wanna add, feel free to reblog or comments them. Also tagging @wesleysniperking & @thenapmaster cuz I think you'd wanna see this<3

Ducks are Evil by The1WhoReads

One-shot, Modern AU, Math Savvy!Zoro trying (and failing) to tutor Usopp, and Usopp suffering because of it. Humorous, cute, and has Usopp Zoro & Luffy interactions.

Изобретение by Тюша (Tyusha)

One-shot. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's Russian, but it's worth using Google Translate! It's about Usopp in the Chopperman universe, so he's actually Usodabada, and it was honestly very enjoyable and touching and made me want more Chopperman Fanfics...the author also has LOTS of other Usopp-centered works.

The Sheep And The Lion by Corporal_MerryWeather

One-shot, Usopp & Merry & Sunny apparitions. really cute, him being able to see Merry show up as a little goat and later Sunny as a lion.

What makes a person? by Starlight_Adventurer

One-shot, Usopp is a goat mink (his mom's a mink, his dad's human) and he's angsting about his dad. Luffy comforts him<3

You could be my luck by yuukri

One-shot, Modern College AU, basically the East Blue 5 going on a grocery trip at 2 in the morning and it being the BEST slice of life everrr it is just SO. THEM.

Marked by truth by SaltyYagi

Multichapter. Truth Spells/Elixers/whatever are my JAM and here, Usopp is hit by a DF power of this very same ability. TW cuz Usopp is depressed & suicidal (and his crew find out about it)

Bar stories by SaltyYagi

TW sexual assault, multichapter. Usopp almost gets raped in a bar, and then deals with the aftermath. It's VERY well-written, and his reaction to what happened and his feelings I thought were very realistic! His crew, of course, is there for him.

Smoke by Ilkwrdthngsdntjudge

>>Usopp's stuck somewhere, and he can't breathe. He thinks maybe it's the smoke? But then why does his chest hurt?<< Idk what to say, this might be THE best fic on the list, SUPERRR well-written and the 2nd chapter is just so much fuN! 🙂(🫠) (multichapter)

With a 100% Win Rate by Just_Fifi

....you know what, this fic and Smoke might just be tied for best written fic on this list. This one-shot is slice of life CENTRAL!! Ft. Usopp & Kaya and the Usopp Pirates playing games, and Usopp With a (frustrating, for Kaya) 100% Win Rate. VERY enjoyable! (one-shot)

Seed of Doubt by ladykarasu

One-shot, the idea of it is actually DEPRESSING. (pun kinda intended) Perona wanted revenge so she placed a ghostie in Usopp so it continually chips at his resolve and the result is...well, see for yourself!

The Seer by TheMightiestPen

I just LOVE when fics capitalize on Usopp's 'prophecy' skills, and this one takes it to the max! Some horrifying stuff, lots of BEAUTIFUL nakamaship, and the best thing of all is that it's a series and the second fic has been recently posted and is updating frequently!

Deconstructed by LessonsFromMoths

🥲...I think the summary says it all. >>Usopp loves his nakama. Despite his constant fear, protecting them is second nature....apparently, so is dying for them.

In which Usopp dies. Right?<< (minor Kaya/Usopp, multichapter)

Head High by ChijikatotokaShikukute (catoandtonto)

TW bullying: the violent, disgusting, and humilating kind (poor Usopp...). There's also other stuff, I recommend checking the tags first. Ongoing. This fic is INSANE. Modern AU, highschool. Usopp & the crew fought and they haven't made up (kinda like a bad W7 ending) and I would classify this fic as a mystery, specifically to the audience cuz we have no idea what's going then find out more chapter by chapter and it's all VERY interesting. I don't think i'm doing it justice, but trust me bro

The Truth In Our Lies by CaptainJojo

One-shot. This. THIS is all I've ever wanted in 2,239 words. >>Usopp doesn't have eight thousand followers. He doesn't have any real stories. Does he even exist? Does it matter?<< We've got Usopp feeling low, and then the Monster trio confronting him and showing him he's loved GAH IT"S SO GOOD PLZ READ IT!!!!

Calm Inside the Storm by ChijikatotokaShikukute

Ongoing. Usopp's chillin' when he's suddenly greeted with Merry's spirit/ghost, who's there to help him cuz apparently he's DYING and wow, this is a lot, but it's SO good (and unintentially funny XD). Honestly, this author never misses!

Solidarity by deadlysoupy

TW self-harm. One-shot. Why Usopp wears his armbands. (I like this headcanon)

Of faults and care by orphan_account

One-shot, Luffy & Usopp fluff, honestly the sweetest! >>Every week they would gather together, just the two of them. They would share the things they love and compliment each other. They don't actually know where this habit had come from, but they never questioned it.<<

A boy’s savior by SaltyYagi

One-shot. Usopp as a Whitebeard pirate (cool concept) meets confronting Yasopp

First Kisses by auriferousxbee (this one's locked btw)

One-shot. SUPER cute Kaya/Usopp! Their first kiss =P

Usopp's Struggle: A Painful Accident on the Sunny! by UsoppFangirl1

One-shot. (the title & username is honestly perfect, just wanted to say that~) Usopp's ammunition explodes and he's badly hurt. I just LOVE how the crew is very worried about him!

the things only He sees. by arurun

Multichapter, completed. IT"S SO FRICKING HILARIOUS!!! Usopp can see the devil fruits' spirits, and at first it drives him crazy (Gomu is a BRAT) but they all like him and it's just so amusing to see him deal with this and his crewmates thinking he's a bit weird XD

The Greatest Treasure by Pirate_Giraffe

one-shot. Oh my god....this one is one of my favorites, straight up because it is HILARIOUS!!!! STRAIGHT UP CRACK OH MY GOD I FELT LIKE ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING XDDD Basically SHs arrive at Laugh Tale and the one piece is revealed...=)

You're Beatifuuul To Meeeeeee by e4679p

one-shot. short, but wholesomeness PERSONIFIED!!! >>After time-skip, Usopp finally thinks he has a chance with Kaya with his new mucled body and tell to his friends but Luffy disagree with him by saying he always had a chace meaning he was always beatiful and didn't need muscles (Off course Luffy is right)<<

Personally Confused by Ilkwrdthngsdntjudge

one-shot. >>An untold story of Usopp developing Dissociative Personality Disorder.<< I think it's very interesting! Would've loved if it was longer...

Name-calling, and it's side effects by Ilkwrdthngsdntjudge

one-shot. The crew start to notice Usopp's weird powers. Wonder where those came from...

Blood Bath by Ilkwrdthngsdntjudge

one-shot. You know what, at this point I just recommend checking out the writer, all their OP fics are centered around Usopp! This one is one of the...angstier ones. =( >>In which the Strawhats are captured, and Usopp makes a deal with their captors for his crew's safety and freedom.<<

Where do I actually belong? by Haiiro_lolz

One-shot. Usopp thinking about his nakama. The vibes here are interesting--him loving and admiring his family but then kinda putting himself down.

Rocking of the Waves by sinelanguage

One-shot. This fic is like a warm hug, or a balm to your soul. ILY USOPP YOURE SUCH A SWEETHEART!!! (Usopp & Crew stuff)

Pathfinding by sinelanguage

One-shot. Zoro & Usopp GOODNESS!!! I read this a while back and I LOVE IT, both are stuck in a marine base and Usopp has to remotely guide Zoro to where he is before the base explodes. Very nice stuff👍

strongest soldier by Nianinn

TW Self-harm, one-shot. ZORO & USOPP CONTENT LE'S GOOO!!! Also a sprinkle of Robin & Choppah looking out for Usopp ;)

Hard of hearing or hardly working? by SaltyYagi

One-shot, Usopp becomes Hard of Hearing after his stay at Boin, and his fam, of course, supports him (and learns a bit of ASL =)

The confrontation by Jazmin_Dreemur

One-shot, what if Luffy & Usopp met and spoke before the crew set sail? The writing is a bit wonky cuz I think it was translated but it's still a nice read and I think there should be more fics with this idea.

Scars you (don't) have to hide by TushaMG

TW self-harm, one-shot. 🥹Sanji & Usopp bonding cuz of their scars. Well-written.

An Attempt at Atonement by redriotinggg

One-shot. >>Usopp apologizes for abandoning his crew.<< Emotional, and also the crew affirming Usopp (he is very much wanted, and not cuz of his 'usefulness').

Negative thoughts won't leave me alone by Vagabonde

One-shot. Usopp is drunk and Sanji takes care of him. VERY cute and funny<3

Usopp's Egghead Revelations by A_Smort_Person

One-shot, set after chap. 1095. Usopp stumbles upon some Seraphim research and has an interesting relevation. . .

There's nowhere to hide from me by Vagabonde

One-shot & one of my FAVES! This is action-packed, all of it well-written and Usopp is the in the center of it all! Truly the MVP.

He's a Wonderful Sniper by Anonymous

One-shot. Usopp's having a bad day, and his thoughts spiral and he wishes that he never joined the Strawhats so he wouldn't be a burden to them. An ethereal being answers his call, and shows him how things would've gone if he never joined. Well-done, and I honestly there were more fics that explored an AU where Usopp never joined.

days fade into a watercolor blur by eat_crow

One-shot. Depression hits Usopp like a hammer, and he just can't find it in himself to get out of bed. Thankfully his nakama always have his back, and in this case that nakama is Sanji (!!! LOVE their relationship and this fic!)

Jump In, the Water's Great! by Urndearing

Multichapter, ongoing. In this (INCREDIBLE) fic, Usopp isn't the sole focus but there's lots of attention given to him cuz the sirens do, after all, bring out everyone's worst fears and insecurities, and poor Usopp's got a lot of those. Could not recommend more!

The Love Life of Lady Long Nose by crackerjackermackeral

Multichapter, ongoing. This one's a RIOT! It's fem!Usopp and every chapter is about her in a different pairing. Everything's really well-written and also funny & cute, and the best part is you can just skip around to whatever pairing you're interested in!

The Coward's Redemption by Brucenorris007

Multichapter, ongoing, last update 2022 tho =( I just finished reading the first chapter and OH MY GOD AM I BLOWN AWAY!!!! It's a time travel fic where Usopp is sent back to fix things by Coby and so far, it's INCREDIBLY well-written!

I'm Sorry Too(2) by LastOblivion

Multichapter, ongoing, last update 2023 =(( BUT! You *MUST* read this! All Usopp fans, in this fic Usopp gets lots of love (and apologies) from his crewmates, and it's so incredibly sweet! Everyone is VERY in-character and it if doesn't make you go "aww" at least once then I'll eat my hat! (plz don't make me, it's my only one...)

In hollow towers and empty hives by SaltyYagi

Multichapter. >>Usopp is is a foul mood with no seeming reason, Zoro decides to figure out why.<< Cute Z&U actions, with some hurt/comfort as well. I really love this author and their Usopp fics, half of those are on here XD

Would you show up for me now? by IluvVaporeon

TW suicide mention, one-shot. Usopp writes a suicide letter to his bum of a dad (doesn't send it, of course) and I remember liking how passive-aggressive it was.

"House of Gold" by EMA_literature

One-shot, songfic. Usopp tells Chopper (and his eavesdropping crewmates) about his mom. Short & sweet!

bountiful treasures by Nomadstarlight

One-shot, 17k words of chaos & hilarity! The SHs are bounty hunters and this is all from Usopp's POV--his journey is honestly incredible and that ending DELIVERED XD

Grilled Fish for the Sniper's Soul by carmerlin

One-shot. Usopp breaks his foot and Luffy & Sanji (& the rest, but the focus is on these two) are taking care of him. GOD this is incredible! Wonderful characterization and very humerous--also the little Sanji moments are 👌

The Restless Barber of Syrup by Evilgu

One-shot, Wild Wild West AU. Literally the BEST THING EVER!! Everything from the setting to the characterization to the plot (it's not a repurposed Kuro) is wonderful, and Usopp really shines!

Merry in a Bottle by BeccasStoriesToTellInTheDark

One-shot, Minor Kaya/Usopp. This is an Usopp&crew-come-back-to-Syrup-Villaige fic and it is PHENOMENAL. There's Usopp & Kaya, Usopp & the Vegetables, and Usopp & Crew moments and they are all wonderful! Very slice of life, feelgood read.

Consumed by Kooabreen

Multi-chapter, ongoing as of writing this. This is a modern AU horror fic that is EXPERTLY written, even better cuz it's from Usopp's POV. I don't wanna say too much, so just trust me on this!

Your Protector by character-studious-drabbles (character_studious)

Drabble. >>Usopp has nightmares. Then he stops. (He never figures out the reason why.)<< I'm only gonna link this one fic but check out their rest! They've got a bunch of nice drabbles for Usopp, and the Strawhats in general.

#one piece #fanfic recs #fanfic reccomendation #usopp #one piece usopp #op usopp #straw hats #strawhats #fanfiction #fanfics #god usopp #almost all of these are gen cuz i filtered out most ships #sorry for any grammar mistakes or whatever

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bonefall · 6 months ago

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with how little relevance characters often have outside their introduction arc, its genuinely WEIRD how relevant tree constantly is. which is an odd criticism because characters should remain relevant after being established but in warriors it feels like blatant favoritism. i dont even dislike treee and i liked him a lot in tbc but its ODD

Mr. Gas Leak has a very distinct feeling (an odor, if you will) to me. It feels like he became so relevant because people were frustrated that he wasn't doing the Very Special Job they'd invented just for him back in AVoS, so the writing team tried to "respond to criticism" by making him show up all the time.

But like... that wasn't really the heart of the criticism. It wasn't a clamor to bring back Tree specifically. It was frustration that they would set up worldbuilding elements and then forget about them when they became inconvenient.

SkyClan's return, negotiator role, the border guard between the DF and StarClan, voting to oust a leader. We've gotten at least one (sometimes multiple) additions that threaten to shake up the status quo in every modern arc-- and then they're forgotten about or not used to their full potential.

In honesty though, the more he appears, the more I actively dislike him. I thought he was cool at first, I enjoyed the idea that SkyClan was going to bring some new dynamics to the politics at the lake. But every role he's had since his introduction has been insufferable.

I HATED how he absolutely refused to do his job in Squilf's Hope because of personal bias

I can't stand how the Sisters have been willing to help the Clans after their treatment in that book, and the constant narrative derision they get in spite of that

The fact everyone just forgot Tree existed in ASC until Nightheart said something was astonishingly bad writing. If I forgot about a major worldbuilding element like that I would be genuinely embarassed, not cutely lampshading it

Even the way he ended up "helping" when the narrative remembered him was annoying. Like, "Oh right! Having this role just grinds the action to a screeching halt! Instead of the Battle Cats doing Battles, they argue offscreen about things! Wow, this was a terrible idea to begin with!"

There are waaaay worse characters in WC, and I can't bring myself to hate him the same way I hate some others like Gray Wing. But boy, he has found his way down my list of "least liked WC characters."

#Im sure a finger is gonna curl on the monkeys paw but.#Ideally I kinda want him to get merc'd and set up plot tension #He is the kind of character who would be a fun victim for a murder mystery. Who would want the diplomat dead? Why does the killer want war?#Im sure theyd Find A Way to rustle my jimmies but i think id prefer if Rootspring was in these roles #He *gets* clan society better. Id really like to see his diplomacy get undermined by cats who resent him for introducing changes to the cod #Cat soap opera is better when there is soap to opera about #Owl Tree has a cool OC named Bean who is just everything hypothetically good about Tree being an 'outsider' but actually COMMITTED to #But imo? The 'best' negotiators would be Clanborn in a series capable of exploring the clans as flawed #Treating them as political entities just as capable of being influenced as any leader or deputy #Ramble ramble i dont like tree

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honeyshiddendesire · 1 year ago

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Pet Name Headcanon List

Doflamingo x female reader- Love

Warnings: fingering, vaginal penetration, pussy eating, reader tied up, misuse of DF powers, dirty talk/degradation, dacryphilia (crying kink), overstimulation

*banner*

“Awe what’s the matter love~” Doffy taunted your immovable form, arms bound above your head in his spider webs, legs spread wide for his long slender fingers to curl inside you despite your overstimulation. Your face was wet and hot with tears, you can’t even recall how long you’ve been like this with him pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you, legs trembling against his dangerous web. It was all a part of his game for you to beg him for mercy but you couldn’t decide what you wanted at this point. The pain edged into pleasure and his words only grew softer as your face grew wetter. “Answer me love…do you want more or mercy~?”

It was a simple question but Doflamingo wasn’t a simple man and only moved his fingers faster in your spongy soaked cunt waiting for your answer. Your body shook like a leaf in the wind, not realizing he loosened the webs on you to avoid slicing into your precious skin that he loved, as if he’d even admit it to himself. Your eyes rolled back and body bowed toward him, breast on display for his eyes to feast, and before you could think of an answer your pussy did it for you.

“Doffy!” You screamed loudly and Doflamingo never let up his relentless pace on your juicy pussy, even leaning down to use his long tongue to circle at your aching clit. More tears springing to your eyes that only made him chuckle deeply, “Oh love~ you should know better than to make me wait for anything including your own pleasure.”

“Doffy p-please~” You couldn’t tell what you were asking for and he only grinned wickedly as he turned his head to bite at your thigh before sucking a mark into it. “Always such a crybaby aren’t you, love.” It wasn’t a question but a fact as he sucked marks on your thighs that were spread open for him like a gift. Doflamingo was many things, a king, deranged, a monster to most but not many knew him as a lover.

“So pathetic love. You can’t even decide what you want, but don’t worry I’ll make the choices for you.” Doflamingo wasn’t a sweet lover by any means though in fact he was torturous in the way he sucked and fingered your sensitive cunt.

Using your satisfaction almost like it was an energy source, taking your pleasure like it was something that fueled his days and when he was done he’d leave you for his duties. Spent and laid out on the bed shaking and trembling with not an ounce of remorse as he grinned tauntingly down at your heaving form now unbound. “I have business to attend to, not that you’ll be able to move until I come back.” His laugh made you shiver and he only grinned wider. “Still no words yet? Good, that means I did my job.”

You barely registered him leaving but heard the faint words that lulled you to dreamland before the bedroom door shut, “Sleep love.”

#one piece #one piece smut #honeys works 🍯#one piece headcanons #one piece x reader #one piece doflamingo #donquixote doflamingo #one piece donquixote doflamingo #doflamingo one piece #doflamingo x female reader smut #doflamingo x female reader #doflamingo smut #donquixote doflamingo smut #doffy one piece #doffy smut #doffy one piece smut #pet name headcannons

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pamicakery · 1 year ago

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°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°°❀

ִ ࣪ ˖ ࣪ ᨰꫀᥣᥴ᥆ꩇꫀ ! ᰔ ִ ׄ

Hi! My name is Pami , I am 26 and here is my blog !

Loa related videos

Pinterest and visions board

And what I've learned.

MASTER✰LIST

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Persisting is key

Manifesting Sp

How to identify with you inner self + ladder experiment

Focusing on 3d

The 4d is a 3d already comformed

How I manifested my trip to Paris

Put logic aside fulfil your inner self

Stop searching for signs

Taking actions is not necessary

How to accept your desire as true

How to manifest good grades

Spiritual burnout

Train your mind

Manifesting and the Bible part 1/2

Manifesting and the Bible part 2/2

Stop desiring start getting

Spiritual burnout

How I manifested my dog

Why are you stuck in the same loop? + use your senses at your advantage

Embrace your godliness

Be comfortable in the uncomfortable

I think I entered the void ⚠️suicide

Video + my take on it (our Human role while manifesting)

How to manifest

You are not trapped ln one reality

Manifesting is a conversation

The universe only knows energy

You don't see it but it exist

How to reprogram your subconscious mind

Loa is exhausting

The god state

The 3d is the final product

Manifesting can be random and easy

You're not that girl

You're not trapped in one reality

Choosing a state is like choosing a bubble gum

When you visualise it visualise it as real

You don't create anything (alternate realities)

Your subconscious is already printed

Preparing winter arc

Shake yourself up

Write a letter to Santa

How my brother manifested a hamburger

Promise of the universe

Museum analogy

I shifted

Energy consistency or if you want order you'll have to cross chaos

Who is controlling who?

Experiencing doubts ?

Forget Law of assumption

#loassumption #loa tumblr #loa #loa blog #law of assumption #manifesation

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eamour · 2 years ago

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law of assumption · lexicon

the law has been talked about by so many people already who have all used similar but still different terminology in order to explain and elaborate on their teachings. this so called loa lexicon is supposed to offer you help and support while consuming law of assumption related content!

verbs

verbs listed from a to z

accept﹕consent to receive or undertake something offered

affirm﹕declare or state something as true

assume﹕suppose to be the case, without proof

believe﹕accept something as true, especially without proof

condemn﹕express complete disapproval of something

conform﹕adapt or act according to or be obedient to a rule or norm

decide﹕come or bring to a resolution in the mind as a result of consideration

decree﹕order or command something

denounce﹕publicly declare something to be wrong

dismiss﹕order or allow to leave · let go or remove something

dwell﹕think, speak, or write at length about a particular topic

embody﹕be an expression · represent a quality by a figure in human form

experience﹕encounter or undergo an event, feeling or occurrence

feel﹕synonym for knowing

fulfill﹕achieve or realize something desired, promised, or predicted

imagine﹕form mental images or concepts

ignore﹕refuse to take notice of or acknowledge something · disregarding something intentionally

know﹕be aware of something through observation, inquiry, or information

persist﹕continue in an opinion in spite of difficulty or opposition

pray﹕synonym for imagining

resurrect﹕revive something known to be dead

revise﹕examine and make corrections or alterations to something

visualise﹕see something through the eyes of imagination

nouns

nouns listed from a to z

acceptance﹕

affirmation﹕a statement made to state something as factual

assumption﹕a thought that is believed in, accepted as true or as certain to happen without proof

awareness﹕your state of consciousness in this moment · includes whatever you are currently aware of and identify with

belief﹕an acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof · trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something

circumstance﹕an unfavorable occurrence in your reality · an obstacle between you and your manifestation

conditioned consciousness﹕any state of mind that is defined in one way or another · a defined state

conscious mind﹕part of the mind where you perform mental acts consciously · active whenever you are awake · has the ability to judge and decline certain assumptions

consciousness﹕synonym for awareness

current reality ⟨ cr ⟩﹕the reality you are now in

decision﹕

desire﹕a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen

desired body ⟨ db ⟩﹕the body you desire to manifest

desired face ⟨ df ⟩﹕the face you desire to manifest

desired reality ⟨ dr ⟩﹕the reality you desire to manifest

dominant thought﹕the thought that automatically always occupies your mind · a thought that has formed to a firm belief

dwelling state﹕the state of mind you return to or occupy the most

faith﹕complete or strong trust or confidence in someone or something

feeling﹕the state of knowing that you already have or are what you claim to be · not an emotion

fulfillment﹕

imaginal act﹕mental action performed in your imagination · controlled imagining where you experience having your desire

inner man﹕the version of you that exists in the mental world · the version of you that develops desires in the first place

intention﹕a thing intended · an aim or plan made concerning a manifestation

law of assumption﹕the spiritual law that states that your assumptions create your reality · what you assume to be true will manifest · coined by neville goddard

mental conversations﹕inner monologues you have throughout the day

opposing thoughts﹕thoughts that operate against your desired thoughts · thoughts that imply the opposite of what you want

outer man﹕the version of you that exists in the physical world · the version of you that carries out your desires, wants and needs

persistence﹕the ability to commit to a belief in spite of difficulty or opposition · the act of stubbornly continuing in an opinion or course of action

revision﹕

prayer﹕meditating · taking time to saturate the mind with desirable feelings and a new, desired story

resistance﹕

specific person ⟨ sp ⟩﹕the person you want to manifest into your life · may refer to romantic or platonic relationships

self concept﹕your perception of self · includes all beliefs you have in regards to who you are

state﹕a state of mind or consciousness · a specific set of beliefs · your mindset in regards to a certain subject

subconscious mind﹕part of the mind that materialises your assumptions · active whenever you are awake and asleep · most accessible when you‘re in a drowsy state · accepts assumptions immediately

unconditioned consciousness﹕an undefined state · your I AM state · being in a formless and faceless stare · being pure consciousness

3D﹕your physical reality · the physical embodiment of your current set of beliefs · a reflection of your state of mind · evidence of your accepted assumptions · the shadow of your 4D

4D﹕your mental reality · your imagination · your mind · your creative power · your awareness · your consciousness

with love, ella.

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lesbianeggwitch · 15 days ago

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DELTARUNE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

DELTARUNE CHAPTER 3 + 4 SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

SPOILERS FOR THE DELTARUNE CHAPTER 3 + 4 SECRET BOSSES AHEAD!!!!!!!!!

Hey, I'm back with more deranged deltarune ramblings! This time, I've taken it upon myself to, for some inane reason, try and KILL (not defeat) the titan. From the attack patterns that I can gather, the titan heals 10500 hp every 2-3 attacks. Now, the normal way to end the fight is to just use Susie's Idea in the ACT menu. However, I wondered if I could out-DPS the titan. So, I got to crunching numbers to determine if this is feasible at all.

First, we need to understand how damage is dealt in deltarune. Damage is determined from the following equation. (AT⋅Accuracy/20)−3⋅DF where AT is the character's attack stat, DF is the target's defense stat, and Accuracy is determined based how accurate the player was for the attack timing. A crit (a perfect attack) has an Accuracy of 150. Notably, the titan has a DF of 0 in second phase, and has an additional x5 multiplier to all incoming damage.

Starting with Kris, their highest base AT stat that you can get is 18 (given you end every possible encounter with violence to 'become stronger'). Equipping them with the Black Shard (+16AT and x2 damage to enemies of the dark/star element), the Power Band (+4AT), and the Princess Ribbon (+2AT, +2Magic which is useless on Kris) gets them to 40AT. This means that they are doing 3000 damage on a crit. Kris is the priority for the highest AT stat, as that x2 multiplier carries any potential AT boost further.

Susie has two main considerations. Susie's main attack is standard, but Rude Buster is where things get muddy. Rude Buster's damage is calculated with (11⋅AT)+(5⋅Magic)−3⋅DF. The biggest issue with Rude Buster is the fact that TP gain is STUPID low due to the darkness. This means that you're likely getting off 1 Rude Buster every 5-7 cycles. Running the numbers, Jevilstail is not worthwhile, as the damage for Rude Buster is significantly lower (optimally at 2035) whereas an AT focus nets you 2315. Now, Susie's base AT is max at 23. You can get her up to 39 with the Justice Axe (+12AT), Jevilstail (+2AT, +2Magic), and the Spike Band (+2AT). This means that on crit, she will be doing 1460 damage. Throw in the occasional Rude Buster for 2315, and you're lookin pretty already.

Ralsei ends up being much more important than one would think. I initially started on this because my first attempt at this (on an unoptimized file) had Ralsei doing 860 dmg. I figured if I could push this figure past 1000, it may be possible to kill the titan. Ralsei's highest base AT stat is 16. Adding on the Puppet Scarf (+10AT, -6Magic), Frayed Bowtie (+1AT, +1Magic), and the Gold Widow(+1AT, +1Magic). 2 Frayed Bowties work just as well, but what the hell lets have fun with it. This gets Ralsei to 28AT, doing 1060 on a crit. Magic is not important on Ralsei, as he has no damaging spells. Healing is not important, as when you reach the titan's second phase, it is impossible to lose outside of quitting mid-battle. Gerson will revive anyone who goes down after the titan attacks, and even if everyone goes down, kris CANNOT go below 1 hp.

So, we have all of our attacks. Every titan turn, we do 5540 damage. Every 2 turns, that's 11800. This is, in fact, MORE than the titan heals. Crits are difficult to land (at least for me at the time of writing this, almost as tired as Toriel in ch3), so you're likely eeking out a 200 damage lead on the titan. Especially with the occasional rude buster with a boost of 2315, we can safely assume that we have the titan beaten.

I went in with a fresh save file with my list of armors and weapons to get, bloodlust in my heart. I attack anything I can. Seven and a half long hours later, I make it back to the titan. I launch into the fight, glide through to second phase, and the fun begins. Percent by percent, I start whittling down the titan. I'm attacking it, and after its heals it sits around 67% health. Then, it heals again, back up to 92%. YUP, THE TITAN CAN BACK TO BACK HEAL. With what we currently have, there is NO fucking way to do over 10k damage in a turn let alone over that. My thought (not having delved into any files or anything) is that either the titan can back to back heal below ~35%, that the healing number is made up and it just heals more than that, or both. Now, I'm not sure if you can burst down the remaining 30%, but from what I can tell it's impossible. No happy conclusion unfortunately, but I felt the need to share this to make it not a total waste.

#deltarune #deltarune spoilers #deltarune chapter 4 spoilers #deltarune chapter 4 #utdr #utdr spoilers

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zais-zafu · 1 year ago

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manifestations through my subs

hey! I wanted to create a master list for all that I manifested but Idt that's possible cos we manifest all the time + I manifest a lot of things per day/week, so here's just what I got out of my own subs over time! will also include some success stories from some comments too!

(yt channel link)

okay so far, I created these subs + results:

dad does what I want sub

this is my first sub and so it holds sm love in my heart <3

at first I dreamt about dad a few times & in my dreams he reflected back my affirmations + now he is much kinder, generous, and loving too <3 now it's been a while since that and it is so funny how the old story just switched (I even low-key forgot how dad was like before). my dad really conformed to what I affirmed for that now he's the least of my problems + someone I feel safe with and loved by

perfect lips sub

my lips are much fuller and vibrant, actually they are kinda tearing up bc of how much larger they got lol (they're healing fast tho so dw + I think they're just a lil chapped cos of the heat & some dehydration)

update: they healed and I am in love with them now, they compliment my face perfectly so I stopped using it!!

best driver sub

I got my license (even when I really gave and asked dad to lemme drop and was sooo done with lmao)

hairless sub

I listen to it every once in a while and it is nice to see how my whole body is losing hair and really looks hairless (probs lost like 50% of my hair in the 3d). now, my sister keeps accusing me of shaving in secret hehe

'your life is perfect' repeated 100k+ times sub

this is one of my favourite subs cos it was a start of a new era when it came to how I formulate my subs. I got such a shock when I first listen to it and it is an umbrella aff so I can't exactly provide results but I feel grateful, peaceful + I see much more beauty, opportunities, and fun in my life!

'you are perfect' repeated 500k+ times sub

this sub is crazy! I remember I woke up, ran some errands, then created it and listened to it for like 4 times then I got SO sleepy like my mind was super tired even tho I jusy started my day (probs cos of the amount of affirmations like it is that powerful!). ever since I started listening to it I have become so aware of myself and changed a lot on the inside (I think my ego died a lil lol). I really feel much happier with myself in a way that is detached from my ego :)

money self concept sub

I had AWFUL money stories growing up, but now money feels fun and easy to me. I don't overthink my purchases and I use it ways that ik serve me. I also get random money gifts and life really feels abundant!!

best birthday sub

I had the best bday ever! not bc of its extravagance, but rather its peace. my bdays were either a time of stress to look like I have a thriving social life or ignored (even by me cos it was too painful to face the pain of other's indifference). but with this sub, I really felt calm and grateful for the first time on my bday <3

'I am the prettiest' repeated 200k times sub

yeah, I have my df. it's actually crazy cos I thought I was the ugliest growing up.

academic acceptance sub

I haven't really applied to anything important yet, unless you count a UN bootcamp :0

the sub does also concern finding opportunities which I can atest to! I don't like for them and the just show up in the most unexpected ways, like they're made for me.

time and energy for everything sub

I love this sub! I feel so energised and like such an overachiever. whenever I am unmotivated I listen to it and feel sm ready to tackle the day!

wish granter sub

this is a mindset + wish granter sub, since using it I can feel even more of lifes magic and I really do think it is a great booster before listening to anything!!

(ofc these subs are not the only way I practice the law but subs are one my main ones so I hope you felt motivated by these results!)

#subliminal results #affirmations #manifesting #dream life #law of assumption #manifesting inspo #subliminals #subliminal #loa motivation #loa blog #loa tumblr #loass #loa #loassumption #zafu results

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tanadrin · 8 months ago

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all of my complaints about dwarf fortress's interface now are of the "this is actually a problem interesting enough to be worth engaging with" variety rather than the "this is too terrible to even think about where to begin" kind. like i cannot stress enough how much new DF's interface is a 10,000% improvement over the old DF interface. in every conceivable way. just not having to run an external program just to manage your dwarfs' labors is huge.

but there are ways it could be better. clicking on a dwarf in one menu should be able to take you to that dwarf in-game. clicking on food categories at the top of the screen should take you to stocks. i hsould be able to see at a glance, like, how many empty bags there are in my stockpiles, without having to tally up each bag of every type. i don't need to have dingo leather and capybara leather and llama wool and rope reed bags sorted differently. every button in every screen should have a keyboard hotkey. stocks and trading menus and other screens should allow you to select all items by quality/material/type/etc., and make specific assignments like melt/trash/forbid/etc from there. if my planters stopped planting cave wheat because they ran out of seeds, i probably don't need a cancellation notice for that *every time*, and it doesn't need to hang around in the notification list for a year, and be shown to me every time i mouse over the little cancellation icon to see what *new* jobs have been cancelled. can make it hard to tell what's actually a new notification and what isn't at a glance.

there are inconsistencies too--"make iron bookcase" and "make zinc bookcase" are two different jobs so when making work orders i can just search for "make zinc bookcase" directly. but i can only search for "make rock bookcase," and then i have to manually specify the stone (i don't know why you can't make a stone object out of stone, the fact it uses "rock" only in the names of jobs is v silly). it's not a huge pain in the ass, but it doesn't make sense that you specify the material for some jobs in different ways. also you can make too many things out of rock. i'm sorry but you just cannot make a rock book binding! it would be too heavy, and it would break the instant you dropped it. books were usually historically bound in wood or metal or leather. you cannot bind a book in granite or glass.

#the rock furniture is also v silly #makes me feel like my dwarfs are living in The Flintstones #but if i don't make furniture out of rock i will never get rid of all the stone lying around #dwarf fortress #still probably one of my top 5 games of all time #and wayy more accessible than it used to be #but i would still forgive new players for finding it confusing and difficult to use the interface

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clanborn · 6 months ago

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Your post about people rehashing the same characters/concepts for MAPS spoke to me. I have a lot of characters and MAP ideas I'd love to see, but I myself don't really have the means to animate, so I thought I'd leave this ask with my ideas and see if they speak to anyone else out there or if you think they would be fun :) General characters I think could be added to the list that need more love I did not see on your post: Purdy's life story, Mudfur's warrior and medic life, Willowshine, Spotfur's story, Mousewhisker, Runningnose, Harestar, Lightleap and/or Pouncestep, Post-Scourge Bloodclan with Fury, Whistlepaw/breeze, Spiresight and Shadowsight's relationship, Rosepetal (Daisy's youngest daughter and mentor of many), Ratscar (DF trainee who's apprentice died in the great battle yet joined the Kin?, great material there), Some cats from the Code of the Clans stories such as Graywing (the RC Medic) and Mossfire vs Jumpfoot of ShC?, Palebird (Tallstar's mom) and her story of grief and regrowth + new mate Hickorynose, Boulder and Russetfur (from rogues to Tigerstar followers to proper ShC cats), The Sisters + Moonlight and they hardship they faced because of the Clans (maybe even an AU involving Leafpool as she died protecting them), Nightpelt/star (ShC) and his rebellion of Elders (would love more stuff about his relationship with Starclan too), Monkeystar and Warriorclan, The contrasts between Greystripe and Darkstripe leading to their final fight/the latters death. A map about the whole family connection between Duskfur, Podlight and Curlfeather, Frostpaw/dawn, Splashtail, etc. Podlight and Harelight as Splashtail's biggest followers (one to end up not exiled somehow and the other to die), Splashtail and Frostpaw/dawn's big battle, Berryheart and Sunbeam + their family and fallout, Stormclan (maybe to save after their novella!), Some specific ideas I have: Aurora - Silhouettes There are very few Snowtuft videos, and what ones there are center around Snowkit.. I think this song fits him very well! The MAP would center around his time in the dark forest and in the reflections of cracked trees or water you can see the different animators hcs for Snowtuft's past in Shadowclan done in a paper-y black/white silhouette style. His longing for finding meaning as he slowly comes to accept that the Dark Forest is the home he'll ever know, as at some point there must have been a time where Snowtuft was losing parts of himself, a truly horrific thing to imagine..

Judy Collins - Send In The Clowns Petunia is the Medic of Warriorclan with such a sad past, someone who loved her human to death and has such a good heart. Now who uses that heart to care for the cats of Warriorclan. Her story spoke to me on such an emotional level I'm surprised I've seen no content of her! I think this soft song would go fantastic on a Petunia-focused map with her human, her grief as her elderly housefolk declines, meeting her friends, and ending with her leaving her home to join Warriorclan as their Medic. The Paper Kites - Willow Tree March Nightpelt (ShC) living through Brokenstar's reign, from the battles against Windclan, trying to survive Leafbare with the other Elders, grappling with his disability, the horrors of War and Tyranny as he sees the apprentice he tried to train into a good warrior destroy the clan he loves. Ends in the battle of ShC vs TC and the Elders chase Brokenstar out with Nightpelt left with pick up the pieces of his home.

No notes these are all great ideas! It’s crazy to me that despite this series’ giant cast we still mainly get maps around the same handful of characters, there’s soo many backstories/relationships/storylines to explore!

#ask #anon

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quinloki · 2 months ago

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Could you do one with Shanks, Beckman and Robin please. With breath play, bondage and bottom Shanks? Please and thankyou :)

Hmm... Bottom Shanks... Like, Shanks as a bottom, or Shanks bottoming in those kink situations? He can be a dom and a bottom so I'm not 100% what you're requesting-- BUT - I'm going to roll with an idea and hopefully it works.

Benn Beckman:

Bondage - FUCK Yes - I think Benn prefers Shibari between the two, but he enjoys bondage too. The vibes overlap, but I tend to see bondage as more often Functional/physical and Shibari as more often ornamental/mental.

More than the end result in either case, Beckman enjoys the time spent tying you up. The bonding, the intimacy, the way that no matter how he's tying you up it's still such a close and careful exchange. His hands definitely grip you more than you need to, he takes more time that he needs to, he breathes you in just a little deeper, pulling you close as he pulls the ropes snug.

Having control over you is an important part, but the proximity, the quiet, the anticipation - all of that is also very good.

Breath Play - Yes - It's not high on his list, but he's good at it. His observation haki might not be on par with Shanks', but he still has the knowledge and skills to go about it safely.

I don't see him pushing any extremes, but he does utilize making you short of breath to his advantage. He's certainly able to cut your air for a minute, but he's not pushing much beyond that. Enough to give you a thrill, enough to make you a little dizzy. Enough to spice whatever else it is he's doing with you.

Bottom Shanks - FUCK Yes - Beckman definitely enjoys topping Shanks, and maybe even better than that, is when he gets Shanks pinned and held in place for YOU to top him. Topping and domming can definitely be two different things, but I feel like Beckman has the weight behind his actions enough to bully Shanks into submission.

Not necessarily making Shanks a submissive, mind you, but bending that bratty captain into submission, sure. Whether Beckman's railing him (or railing Shanks into you >.> ) or you're pegging/topping Shanks while Beckman keeps him in place, doesn't really matter. One, or both, you'll make sure the captain's satisfied by the end of it.

(Might want to make sure he's drunk or exhausted enough he's not coming around to get his "revenge" too >.> )

Nico Robin:

Bondage - Yes - Her DF certain gives her an edge when it comes to bondage. I don't think she's against it at all, it's just not something that gets her visibly excited. She's good at it though, literally capable of tying several knots at once.

Like Beckman, I think she prefers Shibari to bondage. The functional nature of bondage is something she can already accommodate, so bringing rope or bars or whatever else into the equation isn't required. She has nothing against bondage though, so you're not going to have to butter her up for it or anything like that.

Breath Play - Sure - She's a little apprehensive, but she's astute, and her observation haki is certainly useful. (you know, the wiki says she doesn't have any haki, but considering she went up against Black Maria she's gotta have observation at *least*, so I'm rolling with it).

Fast learner that she is, I think she'd find plenty of ways to incorporate breath play into other aspects of a session so that both of you would enjoy the results. But it'll have to be your kink more than hers, otherwise I don't see her bringing it up herself.

Bottom Shanks - Oh god you don't even know - This is a little less to do with Shanks directly, and more with the fact that I think she enjoys topping/domming, and pegging Shanks would be something she could teasingly hold over his head.

Shanks:

Bondage - Yes - Shanks is pretty much a Sure or Yes on just about everything, with a few things ranking higher. But he's, to me, very much a try everything once and figure out what parts of it you like, and then that way you can do whatever your partner wants.

Cause his real kink is making sure that everyone is having a good time. Sure, his pleasure is important too, he's not going to leave himself hanging or anything, but he's done a lot, and there's not much he needs to be afraid of or worried about given his skills.

Bondage is something he's good at, and since he lost his arm it's been helpful in allowing him some positions he needed that other arm to pull off. But he's not as into it Beckman. There's other ways he gets his intimacy/bonding fix.

Breath Play - FUCK Yes - With his future sight he’s one of the few people that can do this kind of kink pretty much 100% safely.

The way you clench down on him when you’re short of air. The pretty color changes in your skin from the lack of air. Less pretty if he’s not the one in control, but the trust you put in him makes him rock hard.

It’s the bestial sound you make when you cum like that that really gets to him. The desperate sound you don’t make otherwise, the way it makes you dizzy and your eyes unfocus. The control is a nice part of it, but it’s really just the way that you lose control and he gets to see your pleasure in a way that no one else has likely seen.

Bottom Shanks - FUCK Yes - Hell yeah Shanks enjoys being the bottom. Whether he's holding your leash while you're pegging him, or whether he's wearing a collar and muzzle while you ride him doesn't really matter.

He doesn't have to be the dom, and he doesn't have to be the top.

But he is still, almost always, going to be in charge. The number of times he truly submits to someone could probably be counted on one hand, in my opinion, but back to an earlier point - Shanks likes to know everyone is having fun. If you want to take the dom/top power dynamic role during a session, he'll play at submitting to you, and he'll let you top him, sure. It's still fun, it's still everyone enjoying themselves \o/

If he can give it, he can take it, and oh he looks so sweet when he begs you so politely, he's so hard to deny when he's giving you that sweet good-boy vibes. C'mon, tell him he's a good boy, and he'll make sure you both feel great.

How May I Kink Your Head Canon?

#kinky one piece head canon #ask me anything #quin answers #kinky one piece head canon 2.0 #nico robin #benn beckman #akagami no shanks #shanks one piece #shanks42

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