#DONT FEEL BAD IF U CANT DO IT RIGHT AWAY IT TOOK ME FOREVER

[yagamisdiary]

Hey girlie!!! Happy new years!! Do you have any advice on relationships and communication???

happy new years!

so this is something i definitely struggled with for a LONGGGG time i was the “im upset but im not gonna tell u why” person for yearsssssss (ew btw that shit is NOT cute)

it’s definitely a challenge communicating especially if u feel like ur partner isn’t going to hear u out or take u serious bc it makes u want to open up even less

so with that being said, i definitely think it’s important to find someone who is also going to communicate with u because there’s truly no point in saying how u feel to someone who dgaf

next, put ur pride aside !!!!!!!! this was a big problem for me because i tend to be very prideful at times. i have a lot of feelings and emotions but it takes forever for me to admit someone hurt them even though i make it extremely obvious

ever since i started communicating efficiently in my relationship, things have gotten so much healthier and smoother! once u get over the whole pride thing, it’s so easy

normally what i do is i allow myself some time to be dramatic aka go somewhere private and cry or rant etc ( DO NOT RANT TO FAMILY OR FRIENDS TRUST ME YOU WILL REGRET IT)

once u get all the gooey emotions out, that’s when u communicate with ur partner. i say this because if ur like me, you’re going to say things u don’t mean out of anger and because ur emotions are heightened, it’s better to speak when ur levelheaded

i usually start by just pulling them aside or shooting them a text and saying “hey something happened that bothered me and to avoid being passive aggressive and weird, i wanna talk about it”

HOPEFULLY* ur partner is ready to sit and listen to what happened and it’s important u try to say it all as clearly as possible! don’t try to speak rudely (it’s hard i know) because if u upset the person, they’re more likely to walk away from the conversation and it was pretty much useless

u can say things like “i know u probably didn’t mean it that way but when u said/did this, it made me feel this way.”

if the person immediately gets defensive or angry, you should take that as red flag because they’re probably guilty of whatever it is u caught them doing

an unguilty person will tell u the truth and say “i’m sorry you feel that way but that’s not how it happened” and then they’ll go on to their side of the story

sometimes… their side of the story WILL PISS U OFF especially if it’s contradicting your story but again u just respond calmly and say “i get that but im just telling u how it made ME feel”

if they keep giving u push back, just end the conversation and say let’s just talk later

normally, when the person has some time to think and put themselves in your shoes, they’ll come back later and say “ok i get where you’re coming from now and i would feel the same way; i’m sorry for making u feel that way”

it seems hard to believe because ppl aren’t necessarily built for communicating that easily… SPOILER ALERT!!!! it’s not supposed to be easy! it’s supposed to be hard that’s the whole point!

no one likes to admit they’re wrong, no one likes to admit they got their feelings hurt but in order to grow and get past it, u gotta just rip the bandaid and get it over with

and TRUSTTTTT ME it feels so fucking good afterwards and the two of u will gain so much respect and admiration for eachother and ur relationship will get so much stronger everytime because each time u two get upset, you’ll be able to communicate it much easier since u got it over with

[firstkokon0is]

good 4 u chifuyu x f!reader

summary: you liked mikey since you saw him, and chifuyu your bestie knows about it but the thing is he also has feelings for you, what is he gnna do? keep on supporting you for mikey or tell his feelings

w: swearings, lil bit of angst but fluff in the end

“y/n, y/n!! oh man ur spacing out again” takemichi throws a little tantrum because you’re not being responsive

you cant focus well, mikey is just close by, with draken as usual.

god what should i do, i wouldn’t ran away again like the last time he approached me

you mentally panicked as mikey slowly approaching your way making every second slow for you

and its like…..

just like….

“yo! takemichy where ya going after school hmm??” with that your whole moment was destroyed, mikey just passed you by like you weren’t even there

im cursing you hanagaki takemichi who do you think you are!! what even are you and why you attach these people so muchh!!

those words of yours for takemichi never came out, he didn’t know that he’s being curse by now just because of mikey.

“oi y/n we need to go to chifuyu he’s taking us to baji-san’s place we’re gonna eat yakisoba” you didn’t even realize that mikey already left, you simply agree and followed him to chifuyu’s

you guys arrived on chifuyu and baji laughing at something, even tho they’re aware of you presences, you sat down beside chifuyu and takemichi sat down beside baji.

“woah you didn’t bring hina?” chifuyu started

“no she said she got a lot of assignments so…” takemichi replied

“whatta great boyfriend bruh, cant wait to be like this in the future” baji laughed

“yeah me too, well y/n why so quiet today huh” chifuyu turned his attention to you

“today sucks, fuck takemichi” you replied with a pout, then chifuyu looked at takemichi like he did something so bad

“tell me y/n did takemichi hit you?” chifuyu asked seriously while takemichi is quacking, scared as shit with a mix of confusion because, how did he made you feel bad

“nope, mikey ignored me for him, its my moment then he’s there im jealous why do you attach good looking boys so much takemichi, thats sus” you complained

“takeeemichiii sussyyy little bakaaa” said the very great troll baji, trying to make the situation more funnier, you laugh at his comment then imitates the among us theme as baji do the same

“nah seriously because takemichi attached me too” chifuyu suddenly commented, really making the situation into something funny

“ayo?” you and baji said in unison, looking at him while takemichi is just done, just fucking done

you guys walk and talk about some random shit, some teas about the famous people in your school until you guys arrived baji’s place, he’s home alone today so he invited you guys and eat yakisoba

chifuyu once again realized how quiet you are today, aside from earlier when you’re joking about among us with baji.

“you must be thinking alot about mikey-kun huh” chifuyu said, leaning his face on his palm and a small smile on his face

as much as he’s happy that you’re happy about mikey, the way when you see a glance of mikey you will smile, your smile is different with mikey, your smile reach heaven when its mikey.

but he also hates, when you’re realizing that mikey is not really interested, when you’re realizing you dont have a single chance, its just when you’re realizing, and someone like mikey wont give you the time and affection that you expected, while he, chifuyu himself can give you everything

but you wont even look at him

“yeah…” you responded thats it for both of you, you immediately changed the topic then baji and takemichi joined in the conversation, until you guys call it a day.

chifuyu offered to walk you home because its kinda dark now outside, plus some gangs might pull up randomly then beat you up for no reason

well that didn’t really happen, what im saying is when there’s chifuyu by your side that’s impossible.

“hey chifuyu…….lets say you like someone….even for you is it possible to like someone else? like you know they dont like you but are you gonna settle for that forever until they pick you because there’s no choice?”

that question hit him like a truck, he doesn’t know what to say, what to answer. especially you’re the one who asked him which made it so hard for him because its you, the one he likes but doesn’t like him back because there’s someone more better than him

“the fuck is that question” chifuyu said along with a chuckle trying to brush the question off, but he was responded with a silence, you were really serious about the question he thought.

“well uh….yes? but no too, because when u really like someone and you’re addicted to them, you tend to look fo them in a another person then lose feelings for them when you find something that isn’t similar to the person that you’re into”

he paused when you suddenly took his hand to go in the playground, both of you sat on a swing and you gave him a hum signaling that he can keep going

“so thats that, but being the second choice for the someone that i like is not bad…..yet heartbreaking because she cant get what she wanted, while i get what i wanted but not as i expected to be, y/n i dont wanna be a second choice my love is true its just i am not mike-” he was driven by his own words and emotions, didn’t even realize what he had said

he quickly turned his gaze to you with widen eyes, while you just look up the sky while smiling

“i see chifuyu……so you like me” you said

there are now tears building on chifuyu’s eyelids, until fat tears dropped down his cheeks, he doesn’t want you to know how he felt about you….because you will change

“okay, i’ve made my decision i am banned to say no to you chifuyu, but you need to prove me that you’re better than mikey, prove me that you can and will treat me right than mikey ”

you get off the swing and stand up, saying those words while looking at his teary yet shocked eyes

“good 4 you chifuyu, i am the one that you liked, i am not giving this opportunity just because i pity you, i am doing this because i know deep in my soul that you’re gonna treat me right, so prove it”

after those words a strong air blew that wiped chifuyu’s tears off his eyes, then he smirked also standing up and looked at you deep in the eyes

“y/n…..i just know you wont last long” he teased

“oh look who’s full of himself right now, just crying earlier because he accidentally confessed” you teased back earning a laugh from him

maybe he’s right, its the first time in a while that you didn’t think of mikey, just chifuyu

and maybe he’s right too, because by just the difference between him and mikey you know who to choose.

chifuyu.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[doyoungyoung]

Summary: Never leave someone without telling them or simply you shouldn't have left doyoung alone

Words: 2.4k

Warnings: heavy angst

Doyoung and you had the relationship everyone wanted in their lifetime. You were so lucky to have him around you, were basically living with him, waiting for him to come back home from his work, and almost jumping on him when you see him. Everything was perfect, too perfect that it scared you. The fear that was keeping you awake at nights came true when you got a job and they wanted you to leave the country and go to America. The idea of being away from doyoung made you cry, you had your doubts but you never thought it will come so soon. Facing doyoung became difficult from that day, you cant even look in his eyes properly. 

Doyoung works enough for both of you to have a good 2 bedroom flat for both of them but the problem was your parents. You have to give them money so they can survive. It was hard, exhausting, you are stuck with them forever even  though you hated them but there was no way for you to get rid of them. The moment you told them you have to go to America, they were like

"Thats the best thing"

"Yeah now you can leave that rabbit dude"

This is why you hate them they dont care about your life they only care about your money.  

There was only a week left before you have to go but you havent told doyoung it just couldn't come out of your mouth. You were scared to see how he will react, how angry he would be and that was ur most cruel thing you ever did.

D-day

You were super clingy with him knowing you have to leave him today for 2 years or more if they didnt let you go. The thing you were doing was absolutely wrong but still you didn't have to courage to say it loud

"Why you are so clingy today?" Doyoung ask while caressing ur hairs softly making u sleepy

"Just bcoz- wait do we really need a reason for cuddling?"

"No you dont i was just ask- " you didnt even let him complete his sentence and kissed him. He smiled in the kiss and wrapped your face in his hand and deepen the kiss. When you both were satisfied he broke it. 

"Baby i will go now and buy the things you told me to okay wait for me i will be right back" he kissed ur forehead and went to our room to take his wallet. You watched his every step wanting to suck in all his beauty, his feature in your mind to keep the memory something you can think about when you will reach there. 

Time went faster than you expected, after saying goodbyes and love yous he left. The nostalgic feeling you were feeling moments ago hitted you hard making you cry out loud in pain. Nothing like this would have happened if her parents were working so all the blame was on them. And then being away from doyoung was more hurtful. Maybe you did really bad things in ur past life that you are stuck in this situation. You put urself together and packed your things maybe taking away two three of his hoodies bcoz they give you the comfort like doyoung do. Everything was done under an hour, his arrival was close you changed your clothes, took a cab and was able to escape to the airport before he could come back.

Doyoung was happy. He bought all the stuff even though he was confused why will you even need it. He was thinking about u making him smile. You made him the happiest without doing a thing and he was ready to spend his whole life with you. He came back home, placing the stuff on the table and you werent there on the couch and it felt a bit empty he didnt knew why. He brushed off the awful feeling and moved to your room. 

"Y/n where are you" 

He opened the door and maybe he forgot how to breathe for a moment. Everything was out there was only a bed which was only used for sometimes or else u were sleeping with him. His heart was trying to tell him dont think that dont think that but it was so obvious he found a letter laying on now an uncovered bed, he slowly took it, scared to look at it.

Dear doie,

If u are reading this you might be back home and heartbroken after seeing i am not here. Doyoung it wasnt in my hand. You know how i have been helping my family for years now and still they struggle so i got a job opportunity in america and decided to take it. I know i made a very selfish decision but i hope you can understand why i took this path. I wish maybe we can be together when i get back from there i dont think it will take way too much so only i can wish. Its too much to ask right?? I shouldnt. Doyoung you are one of the best things that ever happened to me and i love you the most in this whole world. No one ever made me feel the things like you do and i hope you remember this. Btw i took 3 of your hoodies with me to have the same feeling i feel when i hug you i hope u dont mind that. I am sorry doyoung for doing what i did but please dont take anything on urself, you deserve much better person than me. U can find anyone if u want. In the end i just wanna say

I love you doyoung please stay safe and stay healthy <3

Doyoung eyes were filled with tears which was on the verge of falling down while reading the letter. He doesnt understand why you didnt told him. He may have understood you but now you were gone leaving him in the apartment which he tried so hard to earn just for the sake of them living together. At this point the tears made its way out of his eyes. His heart was hurting like someone just cut it open making a wound which he thinks is never gonna heal. He falls down on the down trying so hard not to scream it hurts it hurts more when you were his first love. The love which he tried so hard to keep but all his efforts went to waste when you left. 

He pulled himself together after that day he spend all his time for 3 4 days in your room ,crying, screaming, hurting himself. He wasnt able to come out of this phase and accept the fact he lost you. 

On the 5th day he woke up with dark circle under his eyes, ruffled hairs, smelly clothes bcoz he may have forgot to bath. He was feeling numb thought of you was out of this mind too fast for his liking but it felt nice for the first time in 4 days. Feelings weren't there he doesnt feel anything and doesnt even pay attention to it. He takes a bath, puts up some makeup to hide his dark circles and leaves the house for his office. He already was on a leave for 5 days and it may risk his job. He went there, worked and came back and he didnt knew when all the time passed by

5 years later

"Y/n boss is calling you" mark told her making her a bit confused on the sudden invitation. U entered his place kinda intimidated by the office layout. It was too dark for her liking but who can question his choice.

"Yes sir"

Jaehyun made you sit down on the chair in front of him

"So listen y/n you have been working here for 5 years now and i am really impressed by your work and i think your job is done here. I will allow you to go back to korea and i will talk to the boss their to get you on a higher post so dont worry about the salary"

The words leaving his mouth made you so happy that u almost jumped.

"Thank you sir i will moved out tom"

"Sure" he send me off giving me the cutest smile which everyone was a fan of.

Your stay in america was nice, you were given a place to live while working, you made some new friends which made you forget about doyoung for a bit but he never got out of ur heart like he sat in ur heart and never stood up. Living without him was more tough than you thought but now the suffering was gonna be over you can go back to your place back to him and now even your parents approved of him as the best guy for you because no one can take his place. 

Next day 

You were here, here in your hometown seoul which was one of the prettiest place for you. You were happy more happy than you were ever in the other country. You decided to visit the bridge you love the most that maybe be the place where doyoung first confessed to you. It holds a special pace in your heart so you made your way there. 

The weather was a bit chilly but it was warm enough to roam around in a jacket. The trip to the bridge was beautiful. Night time in seoul is one of the most beautiful things you can encounter making your heart full. You reached the place and took all your sweet time to reach the top. You were about to reach it when you saw him. 

You saw his broad shoulder he was wearing a black tshirt his jacket was in his hand. You can tell its doyoung by his hairstyle he never changes it. He was looking at the city which was lighted like Christmas. You stood there behind him observing how he was breathing slowly taking all the scenery in. But..... you didnt have to courage to face him. All of the sudden you were scared remembering how everything was ur mistake and maybe its very wrong to be back to him after hurting him for so long. U were busy with your own thoughts that you didnt realise him turning back and your eyes met. That moment felt like all the time in the world stopped. Everything stopped moving around them like it was only them in the world.

Doyoung in the past 5 years went through a lot. His job gave him a hard time but he worked hard getting promotions after promotions making him the manager in his company. It made it easy for him to buy a new home for himself in the expensive area of this town. He was living a good life now without worrying about anything. But seeing you there standing front of him felt like the wound he thought he closed 5 years ago opened up in broad nightlight. It hurts he forgot how things feels after you left. All the feelings he burried in that 5 days were back he wasnt sure if he was happy, angry, sad or everything at the same time. He was out of words. You were staring in his eyes with so much love that he might have melted away at that moment. You became more beautiful than how he was used to see you before. You looked matured like a business lady. It made his feel things after so long which he forget how it felt. It didnt last long when all the pain he went through those 5 years hitted him making him almost loose his balance. When u saw him looking a bit lost u decided to start the conversation

"Hey doyoung" hearing ur voice was too much for him he cant figure out how he feels he was confused he was hurt he was on the verge of crying again but he tried to maintain himself.

"Hi y/n" it felt right and wrong at the same time hearing your name again from his lips made you feel the butterflies again but it also felt painful at the same time. Before you can say anything he spoke

"Why are u back?" Fuck that hurts he said it with so much coldness. the eyes which was filled with emotions 2 seconds now were filled with hatred. 

"B-bcoz i am done with my work there now i can have a better post here so they sent me back" u were suddenly nervous that you might trigger him or something. 

"Good for you" he dropped the topic more quickly then it started. 

" what about you?" 

"I am a manager now at the same company"

"Congratulations doie your hard work paid off-"

"Dont call me doie" "you lost the right to do so"

His words were like a swords piercing through ur heart knowing u deserve it u deserve all of it. Doyoung saw it he saw ur eyes getting teary. He was mesmerized even though he hates you now from all his heart he still was in love with the same person who he confessed to on the same place they are standing rn. No one can take ur place even after trying a thousand times. He took ur wrist and pulled you closer. Your heartbeat increased at the dangerous speed like a teenager in love. You looked into his eyes you felt the love when you saw the same doyoung you loved 5 years ago. 

You were about to say something when you felt his lips on yours. Your heart might have bursted in love. It felt so soft it was perfect, his lips moved with you pulling each other closer to feel what was missing for 5 years. U were crying between the kiss overwhelmed by the whole situation. He was the one who pulled back he kissed you for the one last time, and he got backed to his cold eyes which made you cry harder. He whipped your tears away and walked a little far from you.

"One day we will meet again y/n. i am leaving u here. I loved you the most y/n and u still decided to do all of this leaving me to suffer. Lets hope we wont meet again bcoz if we did idk if i will make u suffer like you did to me or will give u all the love we both missed in 5 years. So dont ever try to find me again bcoz the wound you made will never be healed"

And he walked away.

[sloppykyuu]

Look if I'm getting too much u need to tell me cos I wont stop sending in shit

So Issei finally gets a gf and if super obsessed with her (not in a creepy or unhealthy way just really fucking in love and happy that someone has feelings for him) so he tries his hardest to always make her happy and one day he hears her and her friends talk about their boyfriends and all their friends talk about how good their boyfriends are in bed and Isseis gf doesnt say much cos she wants to keep things like that privat (that's a lie she just doesnt want to destroy everyone else's self esteem cos nobody can compare to him at all) and Issei makes it his mission to fuck her in every position possible the entire weekend and he does and basically his gf cant go to school for a week cos legs dont function and she let's her friends now why she isnt at school and they r frustrated that their boyfriends never fucked them this well before (◍•ᴗ•)

P.s. dont be shy u can write the sex scenes as detailed as u want

Ah yes ☺️ i love ur request never stop sending them.

There was no question that the moment Issei met you he had fallen for you. The day he made you his girlfriend just proved it further.

He was arguably the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. He gave you his food if you ever forgot it, handing you his sweatshirts whenever the slightest of breezes would pass, and overall just spoiling you.

He was no different in bed as rough as he was, he always reminded you that you took him so well, that you were so perfect, and no one ever compared to your tiny, clenching cunt (or you just you in general).

He knew he wanted to keep you forever and made sure that would happen. He thought that he pleased you in ever sense of the word, so it was surprise when he overheard your friends talking about their sex life and not hearing a peep from you.

“He’s that good?”

“You have no idea,” you watched as your friend practically moaned at the thought of her boyfriend. “He’s pretty big too.”

You decided to stay silent as your friends boasted about the rounds of steamy sex they had last night. It’s not like you didn’t have anything to add in, you just didn’t think they should really know about your sex life. And maybe the fact that if you had flexed about how your boyfriend made you cum multiple times almost every night, you’d probably end up crushing their egos.

It hurt Issei just a little bit that you didn’t butt in to let those girls know that he fucked you stupid everytime. At least, he thought he did. Were you faking for him? No, there was no way. You were begging for him last night. Begging him to fill you to the brim with his seed, begging for him to slow down, that your poor abused cunt couldn’t take anymore.

“Y/n?” You looked up from your food. “You’ve been rather quiet. Why’s that?”

You shrug at her. “Nothing to add, that’s all.”

She squints her eyes at your skeptically. “So he’s not good in bed, huh?”

You eyes widen at that,”what? When’d I say that?”

“You didn’t have to, your silence says everything.”

“It says nothing! I never said he was bad!” You exclaimed in disbelief.

“You never said he was good, though.” Your other friend jumps in.

The look you give them makes their hands shoot up. “No need to get defensive. Some guys aren’t good at sex and that’s okay. It’s not your fault Y/n. Plus, you love him and thats what matters most.”

“You two are ridiculous.” You scoff and shake your head at the two girls in front of you.

You hadn’t even said anything, where’d they get the idea Issei wasn’t good?!

Before the girls could continue, Issei rounds the corner.

“Hey babe,” you jump at the sound of his voice and quickly get up from your seat.

“Issei!” You make your way to him and wrap your arms around his waist. He quickly returns the hug.

“Ready to go?” You nod and move to gather up your things.

The pitiful look they shoot you when Issei wraps his arm around your shoulder is met with an unamused glare before you two walked away.

The walk home was silent. Fortunately not uncomfortable.

He didn’t like how you hadn’t said anything to confirm that he was good. He supposes it shouldn’t upset him too bad, you hadn’t said he was bad. He planned to prove your friends wrong. To make sure your creaming pussy and begs for more weren’t part of his imagination.

The moment the door closed behind you Issei had you pressed against it, a thigh between your legs, and tongue down your throat. His arm rests beside your head, his other hand squeezes your hip.

He pulls away to kiss down your neck. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Can’t I just love on my girl?” He continues his assault on your neck bringing his hand down from beside your head to your waist. A moan leaves your lips and you rut your hips on his thigh when he sucks on a tender spot on your neck

His hand moves to rest on your thigh before slipping up it to your clothed heat. He rubs at the wetness that seeps through your panties before pushing them to the side and rubbing at your clit.

Soft moans fill his ears as he slips his fingers down to your wet hole. Gathering it up on his fingers, spreading it around and pushing two fingers deep into you.

Squeals of pleasure filled the room as he massaged your sensitive little spot. He felt you tighten and grind your hips down on his hand, groaning at your desperation.

“You want my cock so bad, don’t you baby?” You nodded eagerly at his words. “Course you do, so desperate for my big cock.”

You threw your head back against the door, mouth wide open as he continued to thrust his fingers deep inside you.

“Fu-fuck, it feels so fucking good~” you whined. Your fingers dug into the material stretched across his shoulder. He chuckles at you before pulling his fingers out, hearing you whine at the loss.

He pulls away from you and grabs your hand, tugging you to the bedroom. When you reach the room he quickly wraps his arms around your waist and kisses you.

His hands slip from your waist to the small of your back before slipping down to your ass and squeezing rather roughly. A gasp parts your lips which lets him stick his tongue back down your throat, all while he hands move from your ass to the back of your thighs, tugging gently to signal he wanted to pick you up.

You jump and wrap your legs around his slim waist, keeping your tongues entwined. He walks you two until his legs hits the bed and tosses you on it.

“Take your shirt off,” Issei commands you. He watches with hooded eyes and unbuttons his shirt while you do yours. Eyes glued to your covered chest the moment your skin is exposed.

You scoot up on the bed for him to crawl over you after throwing the blouse somewhere in the room. Where it went wasn’t really corcerning at this moment. Only the primal look in Issei’s eyes. His gaze soaking up your full breasts popping out of your bra. “Such a pretty little thing you are,” he smirks at your doe eyes looking up at him.

He grips one of your tits in his large hand, gently squeezing it. He pressed his lips to yours again. He pulls the bra down to punch your nipple with thumb and forefinger.

A soft gasp leaving your lips as he pulls mouth away to lap at your nipple. One hand kneads at your other breast while the other travels to your hips to unzip your skirt. He pushes the material down your legs and tosses it.

He pulls away from you unbuckle his own slacks. Gaze on you as you remove your bra and panties. Slinging your panties at him, giggling as he catches them with ease.

“You testing me, right now?” He smirks down at you. “Asking me put these on, princess?”

“Issei! Shut up!” You laugh at him before deciding to tease him and spreading your legs for him. “Please, ‘sei. Need you so bad,” you whine as you slip your fingers down to your clit, rubbing gently.

He lets out a deep breath and tugs his underwear down his legs, stepping out of them and crawling back over you.

He slaps your hand away from your pussy and grabs both of your hands pinning them above your head.

“You really think you make yourself feel better than I can?” He scoffs.

“N-no.”

“That’s what I thought. I make you feel good don’t I, baby?” He smiles down at you, running a thumb across your cheek.

“So good, ‘sei. Please fuck me,” his smiles grows wider as he leans down to press a kiss to your lips.

He lets go of your wrists before straight back up, and gripping his aching cock in his hand. “Gonna fuck you so good, angel.” He says, tapping the thick head of his cock on your hard clit. Watching your tiny hole clench at the stimulation.

He lines it up to your hole, head catching your slick lips. “Put it in daddy please,”

With no hesitation he begins pushing his large length into your tiny, snug cunt.

Throwing his head back and groaning as you clench tightly around him. “Fuck- baby. Your pussy is so tiny. Dunno if you can even take all of me.”

You nod desperately, “I-I can. I can do it. Please,”

“If you say so, don’t expect me to stop then. Got it?” He bites his lip watching you nod eagerly, eyes wide and glossy.

You thought that by now you’d be used to the wide stretch every time he pushed his cock inside of you, but you weren’t. It burned and it hurt but it felt so good. To have something so long and thick filling you to the brim. Stretching you beyond your limit every time he fucked you.

When he bottomed out, thick, heavy balls touched your ass and tip kissing your cervix, you nearly passed out. His dick so thick it rested and throbbed on your g-spot, causing you to cum around him while he pushed in.

“Did you just cum?” He huffs an amused laugh. Your cheeks flush a deep red and rest your arm on your eyes to cover your face. “Aww, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”

He ruts his hips into you when you don’t respond to him. Your arm falls off your face as your head tips back.

He pulls his hips back, tip catching your lips before slamming right back in. You both moan out.

Issei grabs the back of your knees to push them against your chest, allowing him to fuck you deeper.

“Ohh~” you moan out. Your hands grip at your own thighs. “Harder, please.”

He smiles at you before hammering his Cock into you. Your eyes roll back into your head as he pounds your cervix over and over again. Successfully leaving you brainless.

Your head lolls to the side and your tongue peels out of your mouth spilling drool down the side of your face. He keeps his gaze trained on the far away look in your eyes. Listens to the whimpers and moans that leave your lips as pounds into your spasming cunt.

“Squeezing me, baby, you gonna cum again?”

“Uhhhh uh huh,” he chuckles at your inability to answer.

“Aw,” he faux frowns, “did I fuck you stupid, baby girl? Huh, did I fuck your little brain out?”

You don’t respond to him. Too busy focusing on the quickly approaching orgasm. You arch your back high off the bed in turn causing him to fuck you at a new angle, even deeper and more pleasurable than the last. One last thrust has you cumming around him again.

Creaming thickly on his cock. The sight makes his cock throb. Your stretched pussy, accommodating his girth, and the translucent white that coats his cock as his continues to fuck you through your second orgasm.

He pulls out when you calm down, whining because you thought it was over, but you’re quickly shut up when turns you around. Propping your hips up, so your ass was in the air and your face shoved in the pillows.

He quickly pushes his length inside you. Returning back to his previous pace. He could taste how close he was. His balls twitching as they slapped against you. He leans over pressing kisses to your shoulders and cheeks, arms leaning on either side of your head.

Soft gasps leave you with each slam of his hips. The small pool of puddle of drool that seeps into the sheets makes him chuckle gently. He knows he fucked you silly, fucked you so silly you can’t even be concered about something you’d usually find so gross.

He knew you were going to cum again soon, hopefully with him, because your walls clamped impossibly tight around him. So sensitive from your previous two orgasms he knew you’d be coming in no time anyway.

A few more deep, hard thrusts later he had you gushing around him. Clear liquid splashing on his balls had him pushing deep inside you releasing his thick load inside your abused womb. Filling you up wholy. Cum seeped out around his dick, spilling out when pulls himself from your sore cunt.

He rolls you on your back and presses soft kisses all across your face. “Such a good girl.” He hums softly. “Love you so much, baby.”

He hears your content sigh and relaxes when he notices you coming back down to reality. “Hi, baby.” He smiles at the cute grin on your lips, cheeks rosy and stained tears on your cheeks.

“Hi bubba.” You sigh. He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips before running off to the bathroom to get a damp rag to clean you up.

Chuckling at the quiet squeal that leaves your lips at the cold feeling. “Feeling okay? Wasn’t too rough, was I?”

You shake your head at him. “I’m okay. But I do wanna know where all this came from.” You question as he takes in his arms, resting your head on his chest.

“Just wanted to let you know how good I make you feel,” he shrugs, a hint of smugness in his voice.

“I hate you.” You laugh at his words.

“Sure you do, baby. Sure you do.” He hugs you tighter to his chest.

He knew there was no question that he fucked his girl the best. Maybe he’d bring up what he’d heard, or really lack thereof, or maybe he wouldn’t. But one thing was sure, no one could fuck you better than him.

A/n: I DID IT!!! I finally finished this request. I need to get back into the dirty mindset lol but I hope you liked this cuz this concept was fucking sick. And I’m feeling better (for now lmao I think I’m alright 😳)

Request are back tf open!

[muwur]

Since requests were open I was wondering if I could request father headcanons for iwai + ushi + atsumu 🥺 btw your writing is vv tasty n I can’t wait to see you write more !! Keep up the good work n stay safe !!

haikyuu daddee headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for iwaizumi, ushijima, and atsumu

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.4k words

a/n: omg u called my writing taSTY Dx i cri tySM 💞 that is a high compliment for me AHAHAHAH ILY and ty for the request! 

also my lovelies i m back i m sry i was gone so long feojfe i miss yall <3 here u go enjoi, this was fun to write lmk if yall want more characetrs AHAHA

current listen: accidentally in love by sHREK AAHAH jkjk i mean counting crows, they cant take that away from me by ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong, love the way you lie by eminem and rihanna

requests: open!

iwaizumi

✧ prePARED daddy

✧ picked up on this parenting thing p fast, also does a lot of research so he’s ready to face any situation

✧ teaches his kids how to behave n respect others

✧ also makes sure they know not to talk to strangers and teaches them some self defense

✧ be warned these kids are packing a surprise can of whOOP ASS,, dont fuck w them,, plus u wouldnt want buff daddee iwa on ur tail

✧ honestly his kids would be ANGELS ,,, n thats cuz he treats them all so w e l l

✧ mans is ATTENTIVE. he asks his kids about their days, their interests, and encourages discussion about their fEELINGS 🥺

✧ always offers them really valuable and light-hearted advice

✧ and gives them the love and transparency we all wanted but never had--

✧ however his kids are easily (n negatively) influenced esp when uncle oikawa comes to visit--

✧ but mostly bc iwa gets annoyed and slips out a lot of curse words and a “shittykawa” and then his kids started calling oikawa that and now it’s ingrained in them forever fjoefefgfvi (*distant phlattykawa crying noises*)

✧ gives them LOTS of head pats and ruffles as signs of affection

✧ PACKS THEIR SCHOOL LUNCHES and ensures they eat a balanced meal

✧ attends all their games/events,, will get a bit rowdy hype them up

✧ def lets his kids sleep with him when they’re having a bad night or woke up scared from a nightmare (and waits for them to fall asleep before going to sleep himself fojref)

✧ when they were babies he usually succeeded to get them to stop crying by pulling funny faces, showing them their favorite cartoons, or humming a lullaby

✧ when they get older,,, u bet iwa would be suPER protective esp when their kids start being iNtErEsTeD in other people

✧ you: “iwaizumi, they seem like a really nice kid, though”

✧ iwa: *sitting with you in the car, across the street from the ice cream parlor your child said they were at, and spying from the window* “you can’t trust everyone, of course they seem ‘nice,’ they just want our approval”

✧ definitely did not interrupt his child’s potential first kiss at their house’s doorstep by slamMINg the door open “sUDDENLY” cuz he “hEard TheIR vOicEs and THougHt TO lET them In”

✧ effectively traumatized both kids

✧ tho he felt bad after n u made him go apologize so he did (and he was forgiven, only if he agreed to never spy on them again--)

✧ doesn’t stop him from scrutinizing every person yalls kid introduces to you tho

✧ overall a super supportive dad, 11/10

ushijima

✧ ok dEF does not know much about parenting ,, at first

✧ stared at his child like ???nani when you both changed their first diaper

✧ also had plenty of staring contests with his babies ,,, called it bonding

✧ was curious and tasted baby food once,,, immediately regretted it

✧ once put a volleyball next to his child, who attempted to bite it, and took it as a sign that they liked it

✧ after sum time n practice, his mind becomes split between “how to volleyball” and “how to dad”

✧ catch him in the kitchen wearing an apron and whipping up his kids’ favorite smiley face pancakes 😤😤

✧ has an amazing ability to get his kids to stop crying, does really simple things like give them their favorite toy or place a gentle hand on their hand or attend to their needs (mans can tell if they want food or needa poop) and they calm down immediately

✧ carried them on his shoulders once and now they never stop asking him for shoulder rides (not that he minds anyway)

✧ if theres two kids he can probs carry one on each shoulder cuz cmon ,,, have u seen this man

✧ always goes to every performance/game/event his child takes part in

✧ man smiles so soft™ when he goes to the 1st grade play and sees his kid’s name in the program next to their role as “townsperson b” (next year, they upgraded to “singing carrot” in a play about the food pyramid)

✧ if his kid ends up enjoying volleyball, he will teach them e v e r y t h i n g they need to know

✧ but is overall super supportive of anything else his child pursues and doesn’t push anything onto them, would rather let them choose what they want to do

✧ had n o idea what to do when his kid asked him about the birds n the bees asfghkl

✧ couldnt sleep one night thinking about it and just randomly asks you while yall laying in bed in the dARk like “so our child asked me how babies are made and I told them they came from watermelon seeds” (you: 👁️👄👁️ “come again”)

✧ you: *at the grocery store with your child*

✧ child: *hands you watermelon* “I want a little brother!”

✧ you: “haha of course honey” 👁️👄👁️ what do i do (*later to ushijima* “duhfojhguf we needa get another baby i promised our child a younger brother fohurof” ; ushi: “wat” ; you: “itS YOUR FAULT”)

✧ yall eventually tell them not every watermelon can produce babies only really special ones that are really hard to get fhuoefkfotfi theyre not ready for the truth

✧ another great daddee, we stan

atsumu

✧ knew parenting was stressful esp with bABieS but was like eh it cant be that bad right

✧ think again

✧ g o o d b y e  s l e e p

✧ develops phat bags under his eyes, responds with a weak “aha im fine just that parenting life and the kids ykNOW” whenever his teammates ask if he’s oKAY

✧ tried to tempt his kids to eat their mush baby food by trying it himself, nearly gagged but was able to say “eughh yuMM”

✧ loves to lift them high up in the air, even throws them up a little and nearly drops them (yall almost died from feAR but babie was having so much fun,,, yall agreed to be just a bit more careful)

✧ rlly bad at getting them to stop crying, gets very stressed when he’s exhausted every option he can think of then calls you over for some help/advice (you: *immediately calms them down* ; ratsumu: “how--”)

✧ calls up osamu a lot to ask him how to make food ,, then simps whenever his twin brother comes over and the kids are in love with this man and his cooking (”dad why cant you make stuff as yummy as this”)

✧ very affectionate with his kids, gives them lots of hugs and kisses on the forehead

✧ plays with them a lot! whether it’s sports, just dance, animal crossing, or UNO, yOU NAME IT WE PLAY IT

✧ also has no mercy when playing competitive video or board games,, has made them cry more than once LOL

✧ so sometimes he toned it down n let them win,, until his kids actually got better and DEMOLISH him every time

✧ is cool with his kids cursing, just as long as they don’t do it in front of their teachers LMAO

✧ plays innocent when he gets a call from school saying his kid was using ‘inappropriate language’ and is like “whaaat? my child? im not even sure where they learned that, maybe check if the other kids in class are saying those things, too--”

✧ reminisces how much nicer his kids were to him when they were younger and all the time they spent together,,, bc now that they reached their tEeNS they want alone time

✧ wants to be B) cool dad so he tries kinda hard, esp in front of their friends but his kid’s just like dad pls dofjrgjigtgro

✧ also very supportive of whatever his kids want to pursue and dedicates time to help them in whatever ways he can (whether that be to help them practice, make sure he can provide transportation, get them supplies, etc)

✧ always playfully competing with you to see who’s the “better” parent (you win by default)

✧ PROTECTIVE dad and will easily intimidate ANYONE who crosses his kids

✧ takes sum adjustment and mental resilience but daddee atsumu perseveres  😤 absolutely loves his kids and would do anything for them  

[holycalf]

i started watching sku bc of your blog (and i really enjoy it!) but i dont get why you seem to like shiori but not ruka....i mean it seems like his intentions were a lot better than hers ever were tbfh am i missing something? not saying he went about things GREAT but....at least he actually seemed to care. shiori was just a bitch for the sake of being a bitch it seemed like...

hi! im glad ure enjoying it! it can definitely be a lot at times, and i think the first 12 eps can rub ppl the wrong way so props to u for getting thru those (even tho i liked em :) ) this is gonna be long so if u feel like reading an essay feel free to read under the cut

um.. i dont really know where to begin tbh? i mean you cant really talk about any of these characters without talking abt the other two so.... this is gonna be long.

so lets take shiori, who has a very classic case of internalized homophobia. which is confirmed by ikuhahras outtake on ep. 17 which states the following

 “I finally realized the truth. To think that she loved me back! What a miracle! But...‘The loser in love is the one who lets their heart be ruled by it.’Everyone's adopted a provocative attitude toward someone of the opposite sex that they like at least once or twice, to get that person to notice them. So it's okay if I do that.This love will crumble if we touch. But when people don't touch, the love eventually dies away .That's why I decided to keep your love prisoner. To make sure that you love me forever. That game will make our love ‘eternal.’ I'm sure of it.We were ‘lovers lost from the beginning.”

so shioris in love with juri. im not sure if thats something u caught onto or not but its definitely the quintessence of her character, and needs to be considered when we consider her against ruka- since its a shared affection. also, i just like shiori, i dont necessarily think shes GOOD i just enjoy watching her and she feels very raw. shiori has a crippling inferiority complex, you can even tell through off handed conversations with her friends in hallways she exaggerates her stories to be more liked. juri is someone who has things come easy to her, and doesnt even really seem to care or notice. in the shows canon shes: liked by the student body, liked by teachers, admired by men (and girls too), academically inclined, good at bowling, captain of fencing club (and likely the most talented duelist- since shes the only one utena never properly beats) and a MODEL?????????? and shiori, at least in her own eyes, is painfully mundane. growing up next to someone who seems to have everything go in their favor, all of the while youre harboring having feelings for them (and jealous that youre among SO many suitors) is so frustrating! especially when you dont believe to have any at all. the elevator sequence when she discovers juris locket is a bit of a power trip for shiori, and also just a sort of confusion. shioris “why do you look at me like that?!” when she considers juri mid breakdown is a clear reflection of her own confusion, she may as well be saying “how could you possibly love me?”...but that was the black rose arc which all got undone anyways- so by the time we see shiori ruka arc she doesnt even know juris got the hots for her. when she first sees ruka, shes staring at juri first and only zeroes in on ruka once she hears people talking abt him. she takes ruka the same way she did that boy in middle school because he seems to be something coveted by the girls around her, its a very closeted gay girl move to decide to go for a boy just because other girls are into him... and it definitely helps that hes in such close contact w juri...he could easily be the one stored in that locket of hers, so why not take him? 

so then we have ruka, who the entire time we watch him is smug, condescending, and genuinely one of the most unpleasant characters on the show. by the end we learn hes in love with juri, so maybe this persona was embellished to push her towards revolution to “free her from shiori” or whatever but.... sorry i dont care LOL! the way he treated shiori ALONE was enough for me to dislike him, there was NO need to tear apart and embarrass the girl like that. he took clear advantage of her crush on juri. his locker is seen right next to juris, and shiori is pressed up against one of the two lockers, but we arent shown which,  “after all, that wasnt my sword,”....he knows shiori has been going to juris locker (and potentially polishing her sword but who knows. all we know is that she goes to juris locker.) and it is later revealed hes extra certain of her feelings because upon publically dumping her (another dick move) we hear her kinda stutter “I love you more than.... I love you more than anyone else” shes clearly beating around a bush because theyre in public, hes pinpointed she and juri are both into eachother, and instead of being a normal ass guy about it and just SETTING THEM UP and telling them to work their stuff out he chooses to, “out of love”  assault juri, emotionally manipulates the girl juri is in love with,  then inadvertantly cause juris locket to break which upsets her so deeply she forfeits her duel with utena. and upon that locket breaking he has the AUDACITY to think hes somehow freed her from something... when the girl is breaking down crying in the rain (the first and only time we ever see juri cry...even if its implied she does it in the shower that one time lol).......then just???dies??? like all he does in his time on the show is cause problems and die, all because he couldnt get over his feelings for a lesbian.... it just feels SO gross to me that he hides his assault and general abuse (can we talk abt how he likely took shioris virginity, JUST to break her down???) behind some icky hero complex

PLUS we see shiori at the end of that episode realize shes in that locket while juri is dueling, and we see her run up to juri at the end of the ep and it doesnt look malicious, it feels very...resolutiony? esp when you put it next to the miki/kozue closing scene of their car arc duel, which is explicitly bad terms, this feels more hopefully....suggesting some part of shiori has at least changed. ruka never got that luxury, he completely exploited two girls in order to add dramatic flare to his last few days and felt valid in doing so..... shiori never seemed to think her actions were JUSTIFIED.....which is sort of the point of the black rose arc where shiori is arguably at her worst........... the very ugliest part of ppl are brought out in those elevator sessions so thats what we see of shiori? 

sorry for the essay!! but i hope this helps and make sense :-) feel free to ask any more questions u have abt the show, and i hope u continue enjoying it! im assuming ure still watching it, i dont know how far u are but if u JUST finished 29 then that means ure getting to some of my fave episodes! (33,37,39 :) ) 

tl,dr: shiori never assaulted anyone

[urmomification]

WOOO POG DREAM SMP AU

theres 1.8k words and 9,393 characters of a schlatt au below the cut LMAO

[i was rambling to my friend and this is what came out of it! send me an abt it if u have questions i would love to talk abt it more pls]

(slight body horror/gore tw!!)

slams fists on table rattling any dishes on the table au where schlatt doesnt die of a heartattack and tubbo locks him up to rot basically and his horns grow into his eyes effectively blinding him and chained his hands together and basically a leash on him to keep him from moving around in his cell so he cant do anything to break the horns off before they get too long and one day when technos breaking into lmanberg he gets chased into the prison and loses them in the halls before coming across schlatts cell and schlatts calling out like 'whos there i can hear ur foot steps whos there please someone whos there' etc yk and technos speechless they thought they executed him to keep him from causing any more problems in the country but this is this is just much worse than anything he even thought theyd do and hes standing in front of schlatts cell just looking at him as if hes imagining it he knew lmanberg was bad but holy fuck they just let this man rot in a cell to the point of his own horns blinding him and giving him no aid or way to ease the pain so he makes himself known and schlatt 'ive never been so happy to see, well, hear an anarchist in my life, its good to see- hear you technoblade' and chuckles and blood runs down his face like tears would, few drops landing on his clothes before techno starts trying to get into the cell to take him out of there he cant leave him here sure he was an anarchist terrorist w a murder record but he had standards and now that schlatt wasnt in power he had nothing against him really considering he isnt a citizen of lmanberg so he manages to pick the locks enough to get him out of there, schlatts arm slung over technos shoulder they stumble out of the prison building and as they slowly make their way to the nether portal to get back to technos base, they run into tubbo and quackity, schlatts old right hand men and they try to stop techno bc hes well an anarchist terrorist w a murder record but the glare techno gives them levels them and theyre left staring at each other for a moment when schlatt 'whyre we stopped whos there tech' and techno mumbles 'tubbo and quackity schlatt' and schlatt just furrows his brows as far as he can without sending excruciating pain into his eye sockets before he purses his lips and asks 'are they going to try and stop us?' techno looks back at the other two 'no they wont, isnt that right boys?' tubbo and quackity slink away allowing techno and schlatt to the portal and them going thru, schlatt still silent as he tries not to trip over technos cape or off the ledge of the bridge passing over the lava lakes, they make it to the portal and begin the walk across the arctic tundra to technos house, philza isnt there right now so its just the two of them and techno leads him up the ladder to his room (its not really a room i think its just a bed, a bell and an enchantment table) and sits him down on his bed mumbling something abt being right back and he is with some medical supplies and a change of clothes to clean everything up, they dont talk techno works in silence and when schlatt winces he mumbles a small apology before continuing eventually techno got schlatt as cleaned up as you can get someone w horns in their eyes and a sweater to keep him warm and finally starts asking questions 'how long had u been in there' 'lost count' 'did they bring you food' 'a chests worth at the beginning of the month' techno sighs 'i thought they executed you' 'tubbo chickened out despite me being 'an active threat to our peace in lmanberg' and locked me up a few days after u set the withers loose and dropped off a chest of food once a month and most of them refused to talk to me others couldnt even make eye contact with me, other than the few instances where they said things like 'heres ur food' or 'u deserve this' or 'i cant believe tubbo let u live' i talked to no one other than myself for however long i was in there' techno stands and walks around for a moment before flipping some pages and schlatt can hear him gasp quietly in mild surprise 'what is it tech' looking in the direction he heard techno from and techno says, turning to face schlatt on his bed 'schlatt that was almost 3 months ago' a single beat of silence rings for what feels like forever 'oh. i, i didnt think itd been that long. though it would explain my current predicament' loosely gesturing towards his face 'oh right abt that i have a few questions if ur ready to answer some' schlatt hums and techno grabs a pen and paper and sits next to him in case he needs to take any notes for future reference 'how fast do ur horns normally grow' 'idk just a steady amount my whole life pretty much' 'will they ever stop growing' 'they generally stop growing around 30 and continue to grow more in width than length' 'did anyone who brought u food notice' 'they grow quickly and by the time the person w the third chest came around they were getting close to my eyes but they didnt listen to me, no one did' he sighs looking down at would be his hands 'the odds of both of my horns growing into my eyes and blinding me like this are so low but of course it would happen to me' a chuckle void of any amusement 'because losing my country and my people and my power wasnt enough already' techno stands up 'you had that coming' schlatt actually laughs this time, short and curt 'ok fair, u were the one that took me down afterall' and from then on schlatt lives w techno and phil and eventually tommy and then without tommy (tommy was Not happy when he found out that schlatt was living with techno but he needed somewhere to stay too and techno happens to live in an arctic tundra where only a handful of people know how to get to so he didnt complain too much) and eventually techno saws off schlatts horns at the bend adn removes them from his eyes bc if they kept growing into his head theyd hit his brain and kill him on top of blinding  him and techno gags and almost throws up despite not being sensitive to gore  and gives schlatt a bandanna to cover the holes in his head for everyones sake and once they heal somewhat he can find something else out and thats how they live, schlatt helps with what he can like farming w phil but mostly spends his time learning braille or something so he can read and techno gets him books in braille so he isnt bored or alone like he was in the prison and he feeds him and takes care of him and schlatt is funny and entertaining despite being blinded by something from his own body and the torture it was like to rot in a cell alone for almost a 1/4 of a year and nights when techno gets home late and hes shaken and the voices are bad schlatt will sit behind him and play with his hair and talk abt his own day and rub technos back and in return when schlatt relapses and gets violent and angry techno will wash his hair and read him stories until he calms down and hopefully asleep and no one told him the news that wilbur died so when ghostbur shows up and starts talking to him he treats him the same as he would wilbur bc he cant see that hes a ghost all thats different is his speech pattern and overall personality and one day he says 'ur different wilbur what happened to that, i dunno spark u used to have' and wilbur simply 'im not sure if im being honest a lot abt me has changed since i died, or so im told i dont remember much from when i was alive' and schlatt just 0_0 and then hes scrambling down the ladder and stumbling around the house looking for techno, finding him in the basement working on something and when he gets there hes out of breath and his hands are shaking bc holy shit wilburs not only dead but a ghost and he was just talking to me and he doesnt remember what i did and and and and techno is shocked to see schlatt in the basement and asks whats up and schlatt just 'wilbur died wilbur fucking died tech why didnt anyone tell him and now hes a ghost hes a fucking ghost who lives in ur house and doesnt remember anything he doesnt remember that he blew up lmanberg does he he remembers my name but not anything that i did what hes a fucking ghost techno hes a ghost holy fuck' and technos just standing there like ??? no one no one told him 'yea philza had to kill him after he blew up lmanberg i thought u knew thats why i didnt say anything' oh. 'phil, phil had to kill him?' 'yea its a touchy subject, dont bring it up' and simply goes back to what he was working on so schlatt sits on the ground by the ladder and listens to him work his brain going a mile a minute trying to comprehend whats going on 'would i have become a ghost if theyd chosen to execute me?' 'its hard to say im unsure if theres specific circumstances that contribuite to someone becoming a ghost but theres really no telling' and goes back to working yet again and from then on they fall into an easy schedule of techno going out and doing whatever an anarchist terrorist w a murder record does on ur average wednesday and schlatt stays home reading and organizing whatever he can based on size and feeling and sleeping in windowsills and schlatt greeting techno comes home beaten up and full of new resources and a side of bruises and cuts so he tends to them, getting better at maneuvering and functioning without needing to see then techno making dinner and then curling up by the fire for the night enjoying each others company as they talk abt their days :]

[novannna]

You Were the Hands That Held Me

Danissa soulmate au.  everyone has a soul mate, and any marking that appears on their skin, appears on yours.  narcissa’s pov.  Kinda angsty, but also fluffy.  

tw: self harm, and mentions of abuse kinda

wc: 2363

Narcissa stared at her arm in awe.  This was the first time her soulmate had ever drawn something on her skin.  She had felt the same cuts and bruises her soulmate had received, just like everyone else, but this was the first time her soulmate had deliberately marked her own skin.

Messy butterflies with uneven wings, and twisted antennas marched down Narcissa’s forearm.  

“Oh,” she whispered.  “Cool.”  She grabbed the nearest marked, and held it poised above the other arm, ready to reply, but thought better of it.  

She shouldn’t force her soulmate to stop their art for Narcissa.  She dropped the marker, and kept watching the thick lines as they covered her entire arm.  

That night she washed it all away in scalding hot water before her grandfather noticed.  He wouldn’t approve of Narcissa communicating with her soulmate.  

He hated the idea of How there was one person in the world, waiting just for you.  

His soulmate had died years ago, leaving him heartbroken and angry, bitter to the world.   

If Narcissa wasn’t careful, he might take the anger out on her.    

Narcissa could take it, but she didn’t want to hurt her soulmate too.  Narcissa would feel awful.  

So she tried to ignore the small flowers and butterflies her soulmate drew constantly.  Narcissa tried her very best.  

---

Years later, Narcissa wrote to her soulmate for the first time.  It was in the middle of the night, when Narcissa had felt a searing pain across her arm that looked like a red slit across her pale skin.  

Her soulmate was in trouble.  She couldn’t just stand by now. Narcissa had to do something.  

Grabbing a tissue to staunch the bleeding, Narcissa scrawled across her hand in thick ink. 

STOP

I can’t , her soulmate replied. 

Please, just hear me out, Narcissa wrote, hoping she could do enough.  Hoping she could convince the person who had drawn butterflies everywhere on their body, that maybe the world really did want them. 

please, just stay out of this

I can’t. This is my body too.  And even though I’ve never met you, you're my soulmate and I care about you. 

Fine. I’ll listen. Her soulmate's handwriting was a little shaky, but very neat, with tall, loopy letters.  

I’m guessing you’ve been having a hard time with life recently, Narcissa started. 

I guess

Do you want to be here?  Narcissa asked bluntly

There was a long pause.  I don’t know, her soulmate finally responded.  I love Earth, but the people…. I can’t stand the people. All they do is bring hate and hurt to me

I get that.  But the people don’t matter. You do.  Danna wrote desperately. 

No I don’t. I’ve never done a single good thing in my life

You have!  You’ve made me smile!  You’ve made me laugh!  

Her soulmate replied, When?  This is the first time I’ve ever talked to you

When we were younger, you used to constantly doodle little flowers and butterflies all across our bodies. I loved to watch you draw them, watch the blocky little lines appear across my body.   Danna smiled as she recalled the delicate insects she wore across her body daily. 

I thought you hated those. That’s why I stopped

No, of course not!

Then why did you erase them?

Narcissa sighed. She thought for a second, then wrote, my grandfather. He hates soulmates. If he knew I was communicating with mine, I’m afraid he would hurt me.  And doing that would hurt you. 

But… that means you could get in trouble right now!

No. I won’t, I’m fine. You are more important.  Tell me, what made you want to hurt yourself today?

I guess I’m just tired of being ignored. I’m tired of being treated like a child. I want to leave my house, but I can’t. I can’t live on my own. 

Thats okay, you shouldn’t be ignored.  You should be your own person, and if your parents cant see that, they’re idiots!!

Narcissa capped the pen, and tried to wrap her blanket around her arm, the blood slowly soaked through the fabric, staining the blanket a bright red.  How would she explain that to her grandfather?  It didn’t matter right now though.  Right now, she had to make sure her soulmate was okay.  That was her one and only goal.  Nothing else mattered.  Narcissa had the opportunity to maybe save a life right now.  That’s what she had to do.  

They aren’t.  I’m the one who’s screwing up, her soulmate replied.  I cant ever get anything right.  Im just a big mistake that shouldn't even exist.  The worlds probably better without me

THATS NOT FUCKING TRUE!  Narcissa scrawled as quickly as she could.  I dont believe it.  Not for a second.  Just by being here, you’ve made the world a better place.  Everyday, I wake up and check my body for some indicator that you’re here.  I can’t help but think about the fact that there is someone out there meant for me.  And I’m meant for someone.  

I guess…

Narcissa sighed heavily.  She had to go to bed before her grandfather woke and saw her light on.  

Are you okay?  She wrote.  Are you in any danger?  If you are, im here.  For both of us

A minute passed before the reply came.  I dont think so.  I think im better.  But… if i feel bad again, can i talk to u?  This actually really helped me.  Thank you

Narcissa smiled.  Of course!!!  Just, could u write somewhere less obvious?

Sure.  I understand.

Narcissa smiled gratefully.  How ‘bout our ankles?  That’s less obvious and easy for me to hide

She felt pressure on her right foot, and slid it out from beneath her blanket.  A smile, and little butterfly doodle greeted her eyes.  

Good night, soulmate, Narcissa wrote

Good night.  Sleep tight.  And… thank you.

Narcissa smiled.  She slid out of bed, and held her arm close to her chest while creeping to the bathroom.  Once inside, she scrubbed all of the ink off her skin, and bandaged the red slit shut.  

Narcissa and her soulmate were okay.  That was all that mattered.  Everything was alright.  At least for now.  But now was the only thing Narcissa could bear to think about.  

---

After that one night, Narcissa’s soulmate never hurt themselves like that again.  But that didn’t mean they weren’t hurting.   Narcissa could tell they were hurting themselves in other ways.  

She tried to help.  She wrote reminders every few hours, telling her soulmate to eat, and drink water.  She wrote encouraging messages, and doodled across their skin.  

But still, Narcissa would feel her stomach growl with hunger, and her tongue beg for more water.  She felt her eyes grow heavy even though she had slept almost 10 hours the night before.  Her soulmate just didn’t care, and there was nothing Narcissa could do. 

They would talk to each other constantly, ranting about their day, or commenting about something they saw.  Narcissa grew much closer to the person she had never even seen the face of. Closer to them then anyone else she had ever known.  

Even her grandfather. 

Narcissa had a very strained relationship with her grandfather.  She knew deep down he loved her, but he had a hard time showing it.  He was caught in a life of crime, and there was no way out.  

He had been an arms dealer for years, selling guns and other weapons on the black market.  He made a lot of money, but not a lot of friends.  He was a bitter old man, who took all of his anger out on Narcissa.  He had never hit her, but his words were hard enough. 

Narcissa knew she was being abused, and belittled, and manipulated, but she always ended up excusing his actions. Or even worse, sometimes she would place the blame on herself.  She knew she was in a bad situation, but it was one she was stuck in. 

Narcissa talked about him lots with her soulmate.  It turned out, they had a similar situation with their parents.  

Mistreated, abused, bullied, shamed. 

The two escaped into their skin, engrossed with each other.  They held each other right through the pain and the tears.  Though at times, both of them desperately wanted to, they held strong and never hurried themselves for fear of hurting the other. 

---

One day, the straw finally snapped for Narcissa. She was 17 now, and old enough to live her own life. Old enough to understand what her grandfather gave her wasn’t love, it was trauma.  

After he yelled at her for an hour straight because she put a book in the wrong bookshelf, Narcissa decided she had taken enough. 

Can we go?  She desperately scrawled across her ankle. Can we escape these sorry excuses for lives?

Her soulmate wrote back a few minutes later. What do you mean?

We’re old enough to live on our own. Why are we forcing ourselves to live with these people who treat us so terribly. Why don’t we just run away together?

Ok. The reply shocked Narcissa. She had been expecting them to try and convince her otherwise, make her see the absurdity. Not agree.  But Narcissa was glad they agreed. They both deserved a chance to start over. To make a life for themselves, and do it right. 

You will?

With you?  Of course I will silly. I’ve been waiting years for me to ask

When?   When can we leave?

Whenever your ready

A week, Narcissa declared, I’ll meet you in a week at Gatlon City, at the train station

Ok.   I’ll be there, I promise, her soulmate wrote. 

Me too. Narcissa grinned. She was finally escaping. Finally starting fresh. Finally leaving her grandfather to be with someone who truly cared.  Narcissa couldn’t wait.

---

Narcissa creaked the door open, cringing as the hinges squealed loudly. 

“Just where do you think you’re going?”  Her grandfather slurred from the couch. 

Shitshitshitshit, Narcissa though. She was caught.  She was never going to escape her life.

“I told you earlier this week I’m going to a friends house tonight,” Narcissa said lightly, trying to mask her terror. 

“Stop lying!”  He screamed.  “I know that’s not true, you don’t have any friends.”

Narcissa cringed.  

She breathed in deeply.  She was already leaving forever, there was no point in lying anymore.  

“Fine  I’m leaving.  For good.”  She braced herself for the rage. 

Instead, he laughed.  “You?  You're leaving?”  He scoffed.  “You would never.  You’re too scared and dependent on me.”

Narcissa drew herself up.  “No.  You’re wrong.  I’m leaving, to find my soulmate.  We’re making our own life.  Together.”

He gaped at her.  “You can’t!  You can’t go to your soulmate,” he spat.  “You’ll live a terrible life.  You’ll be tied down forever.”

Narcissa shook her head.  “No.  I won’t.  I’ll live the best life I can.  Because I’ll be happy.  I won’t live in fear anymore.  I’m sorry you weren’t meant for your soulmate, but it’s different for me.  I know them.  We are meant for each other.  I wouldn’t expect you to understand.  All you know is hate.”

“So you’re really going?”  Her grandfather’s lip curled up.  

Narrcissa nodded.  “I am.  I’m making my own life, as far away from here as possible.”

“Then go!”  He snarled.  “I don’t want you in my house if you won’t see a reason.  Go.”  He picked a book sitting next to him, and hurled it at Narcissa’s head.  

She ducked, her hair ruffling by the wind.  

She turned to him, tears in her eyes.  “Goodbye grandfather.  I’m sorry.”  She threw open the door, and fled into the night.

---

Narcissa’s heart thudded in her ears.  This was it.  This was the day she was going to meet her soulmate.  She knew she should be realistic, but Narcissa couldn’t help imagining the meeting like something out of the sappy romance novels she liked to read.  

She expected the dreary clouds to disappear, and the sun to shine out on top of them.  

She expected to know exactly who was her other half

She expected to run up, into their arms, and kiss them like she had wanted to be kissed her entire life.  

But Narcissa knew how unlikely it was.  But, a girl could hope, couldn’t she?  

She inhaled deeply.  Uncapping the pen with her teeth, she scrawled on her palm, I’m here  

Me too, her soulmate wrote back.  The familiar loopy red marks eased Narcissa.  She knew this person.  This was her soulmate.  Everything was going to be okay.  It would all be okay.  

Her eyes locked onto a girl standing near a bench, her head bent over her hand, a pen tucked behind her ear.  

Somehow, Narcissa knew.  She knew this was the person she had been searching for her whole life.  She knew that the girl was her soulmate.  

Summoning every miniscule scrap of courage Narcissa could find, she approached the girl.  

She tapped her shoulder.  “Hi,” Narcissa breathed, heart pounding.  “I’m Narcissa.  I think I’m your-”

She was interrupted by the girl throwing her arms around her tightly.  

“I’ve waited so long to meet you,” Narcissa’s soulmate said roughly, her voice thick with tears.  “I’m Danna.”  

Narcissa laughed.  She realized she was crying.  “Me too.”

“I feel like I already know everything about you,” Danna laughed.  She swiped her eyes.  

Narcissa nodded.  “I know we’re soulmates, but I want you to know I understand if you don’t want me,” she said.  “I get it- not all soulmates are really soulmates.”

She was cut off by Danna pressing her lips to hers.  “I want you,” Danna breathed.  “You're the one who I’ve trusted with every secret I’ve ever held.  You’re the one who helped me when no one else could.  You’re the one who took care of me.”  Danna held their hands up, exposing the thick identical scars that spread across their wrists.  “You are the only other person in the world who understood, and actually helped me.  You were the hands that held me.”  Danna reached her hand to Narcissa’s face, wiping away her tears.  “I want you, and no one else.”

“Me too,” Narcissa whispered.  “Me too.”

Tag list: @novissa @thepurpledragon4444  @phobidawg @janisarkisian  @rvbell @lavenderbloo @redassassin  (let me know if you want to be added/taken off!!!)

[wolferals]

truth or dare?

Arón Piper imagine

*

„No it's your turn!" I laughed and threw a popcorn at Arón. It hit him right in the face, whereupon he started to laugh and directly threw a popcorn at me.

„Hey!" I complained loudly and looked at him in horror. "Okay, okay," he said with a grin and pulled out a deck of the truth or dare game he had taken from a friend.

"Okay... What is it? "Alvaro asked curiously, trying to catch a glimpse of the cards.

"Oh qué cabrón..." Arón cursed and he rubbed his temples. "Qué?" Miguel asked and started to laugh.

"Someone in the room has to blindfold and then kiss you. Guess who it was. "

We all started laughing and I looked around.

"Okay then lets get a towel or something to blindfold you." Miguel ordered and grinned at Arón.

"Do I have to?" He asked and put on a pitiful look.

"Yeah!" We all answered in unison and started to laugh again, but Arón seemed a bit annoyed, but then got up and went to the bathroom to look for a towel or a scarf or something.

„Guys I cant find anything!"he shouted and came out of the bathroom again.

Incidentally, we were in a hotel room right now because the guys were filming in Spain and had invited me over to surprise Arón. He had been really happy about it because we hadnt seen each other in forever.

We actually became friends when we were kids.

One summer when he was 10 and I must have been around 8, he was visiting his grandma in Germany and we met when I was playing outside with my friends. He just came over and asked if he could play with us, being super shy and everything. But of course we let him join us because he didnt know any kids around and i remember feeling bad for him.

We had been in the hotel for a couple hours now, just having some drinks, laughing and catching up on old memories.

After a while we got bored and then Alvaro had suggested to play a game of truth or dare.

I knew Arón actually hated it because he thought it was "childish." But for some reason he had agreed after all. And good for me, as I now was allowed to watch one of the boys kiss Arón.

I would do it, but it would be funnier seeing him kiss a guy, other than Omar obviously.

"Uhm then ... let's darken the room." Miguel said and got right up to close the blinds.

It was already 11:30, but a little light from the outside lanterns shone into the room.

"Whoa whoa! Chicos, I dont wanna do that! "Aren then said, crossing his arms over his chest.

„We dont care what you want. It's your dare. Deal with it."

Omar laughed and looked at me," Right y/n?!"

In response, I just nodded and looked to Arón, who had put on that look again.

"Okay Arónsky, someone‘s gonna keep your eyes shut and another one's gonna kiss you. "

Omar explained then and Arón stood in the middle of the room, pouting like a little kid who was just told he had to go to bed.

„Okay ..." he murmured softly.

Omar then pointed his finger at me that I should kiss Arón, but I shook my head violently and pointed to Alvaro.

Miguel had to stop laughing as Alvaro reluctantly stood up and walked towards Arón.

I then symbolized the others that I would shut his eyes and walked behind him.

I gently put my hands over his eyes, but before that I had pulled my sleeves over so he would not recognize my hands right away since they‘re obviously a lot smaller.

Alvaro took Arón‘s face in his hands and actually leaned forward to kiss him, but Arón pulled back at hi breath. "I cant, puta!"

He said and stepped away.

„Oh come on."

Miguel laughed and looked at Arón. I was still standing behind him, trying to see his figure in the dark.

„No I dont wanna do it!“ he almost shouted and stormed out of the room, he was gone so fast that I couldnt really react, so I just stood there and looked at the boys in confusion.

"Y/n u go?" Omar asked, giving me a questioning look, I nodded slightly and walked out of the room as well.

But I didnt even know where he was! He could have gone anywhere, we were in Madrid! So I ran down the hall of the hotel and got into the elevator.

There I stared a little at the keys, wondering where Arón would most likely go.

The roof! He would probably go to the roof. He once told me he loved sitting on roof terraces, smoking and listening to music while watching the stars.

I hadnt seen it myself, but I believed it, sounded like him.

So I went up to the roof and opened the door to the roof terrace. I looked around, but there seemed to be no one here except a father with his little daughter who couldnt be older than 5.

I greeted them as I continued walking to check on Arón.

A colorful string of lights made the roof a little brighter, but I still did not see him, even though he could be here.

So I ran around everywhere looking for him.

After a couple of minutes I saw someone standing on the railing. He was the size and shape of Arón.

Smoke lifting into the air in front of him.

I slowly walked towards him and stopped right next to his body.

"Hey ..." I whispered and looked up at him for the first time, of course it was him.

"Hi." He softly spoke, but didnt look at me.

"What happened there?" I asked him, finally and took his left hand to cross his fingers with mine.

"I dont know." He squeezed my hand a little tighter and I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"Is it because of Alvaro?" I asked quietly after a few minutes and looked at him.

After a moment of silence, he nodded and then whispered:"I mean, I had a small chance of you kissing me, but I just wanted to kiss you, not the boys or anything."

Kind of understanding, I nodded to him and leaned my head against his arm.

„Arón look at me please," I spoke and he slowly turned to me, still holding hands.

"What?" He mumbled.

I finally took all the confidence i possessed, put my hands around his neck and pulled him down to me.

Just before our lips touched, he whispered, smiling:

„estás loca“

I put my lips on his and then started to smile in the middle of the kiss.

"Te quiero." He finally smiled and gave me another kiss on the cheek.

„Trust me, yo también. Cabrón.“

He started smiling again and then put his lips to my ear.

„You‘re so hot when you speak Spanish.“

[jensenackle]

so, falling in love? the greatest thing in the world. makes u feel invencible like you could swallow the entire world raw and nobody could stop you. You'd like to think you could go on and on forever talking about love but its been so long you dont even remember anymore

getting your heart broken? well that is something. at first you feel like its the end of the world. And you know what? it kinda is. not in the "im going to die because of this" way, but instead, its like you wake up from the haze and reality hits you in the chest so damn hard it takes your breath away. it is raw and the most painful thing in the world, to think the person you trusted and loved more than anyone just betrayed your trust and stabbed you in the back. its not that they're unfaithful the thing that hurts, not entirely, but rather that they knew it would hurt you, and they did it all the same. and then lied about it. And you know damn well that once you start telling lies you can never stop and now you're like a snowball tumbling down getting bigger as the moments pass by, but its all gonna come crashing down inevitably. its losing the trust you had put in that person and now you cant even believe your etes because nothing seems true anymore. Is the sky really blue? The grass green? Or am i just blind to the truth?

trying to work things out means forgiveness and apologies and forgetting and getting over. it truly means turning the page around, period. there's no other way, you can't bend this to work like you'd like. Because that's when things get ugly. And i mean really fucking ugly and you feel like you've lost yourself because suddenly you're acting like you've never have before, like you said you never would. And its new and terrifying and so bad and ugly you're scared you're stepping into the darkest version of you and you don't even recognize yourself.

you start asking yourself questions, like what have they done to me? but also what have i allowed people to turn me into? and also why? Mostly why. And you can't wrap your head around this, because life was like a bliss and you felt divine but now you feel like someone's attached an anchor to your ankle and thrown you to the deepest ocean and youre sinking and drowning and struggling, and you know life changes fast but why did it have to change to this? did i really deserve it?

but you didn't deserve it. The betrayal and feeling like dying and the depression and that one time when you first stepped outside your house in the aftermath, after weeks of being in bed and not sleeping at all barely eating and crying yourself to sleep, and you couldn't keep the tears from falling or the sobs from coming out your mouth because you were overwhelmed. You didnt deserve it, and you werent responsable for that either. None of it was your fault, and maybe the guilt of "what if i had done anything different?" will leave your body someday.

But it was them. They're the ones that screwed you over and then claimed to love you. You can understand now, though, that they're humans because we all are and we all make mistakes. But you can't forgive, him treating you like a fool and lying and going behind your back. You've never forgotten nor forgiven. And you had to get back at him didn't you? Had to have your revenge.

But he didn't deserve it either and that eats you up but you wont do anything about it because its not your place to do so. Because you'll try to justify yourself but you were in the wrong. Tried to convince yourself you were over and done, could fall in love again, and he wasnt a rebound. Nope, not all. He was the real thing. But you know now you were lying to yourself back then. He was convenient. And willing. And you kinda liked but you know he liked you a lot so you took advantage. I know its no fair putting it in those words, its not like you were conscious about what you were doing, so far down in denial, but its what you did anyway and now you have to own up to it. Now youve hurt a lot of people and yourself too, some didnt deserve it and some did, just because you tried to cover up your feelings. How did that work out for you, baby girl?

Getting back with an ex is a big no-no, you've learnt your lesson or you're starting to, trying to, wanting to. Because the shit thats in the past should fucking stay in the past. Its there for a reason anyway, digging it up will amount to nothing eventually. And im talking about feelings and emotions and situations and friendships and lovers. The whole deal. Whats dead should say well, dead. It died right? And trying to bring it back to life will make it morph into something new. But if youre lucky, like really fucking lucky, the new thing will be good and bright and beautiful. But if youre like me? Luck has never been on our side. And now the zombie will try to please you and you'll try to please him too until you find yourself reaching for the shotgun and pointing it right to them while they're coming for you.

Because the new is gonna be so exciting at first, like you've been missing out on life all the time you've been away from them like you finally can breath. But then the spell is over and reality hits you and guess what? It's ugly, obviously. It always was but you just didnt wanna see it but now the curtain is up and the blindfold is gone and you have to go and confront yourself and tell yourself the truth.

It'll be ages till you listen though. Denial, again. I kinda feel like that's become our thing. And nasty little habit, that is. And even when you finally start to listen, you will withdraw again. Reach out for the cover again. Because the truth is ugly and painful and you dont want that. You dont want to believe your fairytale love doesnt get happy ending, probably never will. And it will come crashing down and burning, like it has in the past, like you've so desperately tried to avoid. No one wants to face that

But life is what it is whether you like it or not and avoiding the inevitable will only make things harder and thats right - uglier. But maybe if you could hold on into that last bright thing... maybe you could fix it all. But you know you can't.

Too much shit has happened now. You've got baggage now. Not that you didn't have it before from your insecurities and years of teenage depression but it wasnt like this. Never like this. Back then you didn't like your self but you trusted your convictions and rules and now that you've done all the shit you said you wouldn't, who are you now? What do you believe in anymore? Do you believe in anything? Now you second guess.

You would have jumped had he asked. Would have done anything for him, and it sounds pretty but it isn't and you've lost yourself so damn deep you're never finding that again so it would be better to rebuild from scratch, right? But now you're longing and nostalgic for who you were, and what it was and how you felt. Like walking on clouds.

But then it hits you and you feel like you can't even breath: you don't feel like that anymore. And even if you want to turn your head away from this you can't. And now you have to do something. You owe it to yourself, after all. Can't waste more of her heart and time.

And it's a slow path. Bunch of rocks in the way. It's hard to walk and you keep turning back but keep walking forward because it's the only thing to do, even if you want to go back, and you want, but you cant. Hoping that you wont. Even if it hurts. For you.

And here we are at the end of things. The end of the world. The world you built for yourself and him that no longer will be and everything will die with it, the inside jokes and knowing each other and the old memories and the new memories and everything in between. Breaking up, if it was true love, will feel like dying because parts of you will (the ones you were with him and the ones he takes with you) and will feel like the world is shattering around you because it is.

Falling out of love? Not as fun as falling in. But you learn more. Lose a lot more than just people, but you lose perspective on the beauty of life and of love. Especially love. You become bitter and cynical. You desperately want to view life bright again because now it feels as if someone dimmed the lights. And at the same time you want to embrace the new thoughts. Arent sure which one is the bad and which the good, or if there is a good or bad at all, and now you're confused and conflicted.

It takes time. I'm still trying to figure out.

[chnsfairy]

2:58am and thinking of u | han jisung

words ; 1,110

genre ; fluff

requested ; no

a/n ; this was straight up a simple blurb but it’s past midnight and here we are

m.list in bio

-

"let's have a late night adventure !!!!" jisung yelled through ur phone a poor attempt at making u go deaf

(￣_￣)・・・

sir ,,,,, its ,,,, well past midnight 

“ji ... what’re u talking about”

u were just about to go to sleep too but then OFC THIS BITCH WAKES U UP

"awwee come on y/n u know,,, we could go down to the 24/7 convenience store to get something to eat, and then we can go to the lake, where we toss in rocks while we just talk or tell stories, i don't know– now it sounds kinda silly" 

:(((

oh

u sat up straight because suddenly :(( ur wide awake and that just sounds super fun :((

DAMN U JISUNG AND UR ANTICS

oke but like ,, u don't have anything better to do so maybee this isn’t such a bad idea

even tho ur parents would probably kill you LMAO BUT THAT DOESNT MATTER WHO CARES MSNDNJSS

"jisung you should go to sleep ~~”

like bro (・_・ヾ

“why’re u even awake anyway its 2:58am”

“W E LL I could be asking u the same thing >:[[[”

ok who are we kidding

this kid is straight up dodging the question

the only reason why jisung couldn’t sleep is because he was thinking of u

yes 

i know

poor boy :(((

he cant even get sleep anymore

ur just always in his thoughts :(( not in a creepy way or anything sdjfkasdmfkj

BDVJKSAV BUT HE DIDN’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF U FOUND OUT

no no no that would be b ad ,,,,,,,,,,,

he didn’t even know what HE would do

maybe bury himself into a hole

and hibernate there forever

MCDMDDVJK okie anyway

“oh u know,,, couldn’t sleep,, normal stuff”

lies

oh boy

see now u were just up late listening to the few songs jisung and his friends had released online and then u got distracted

and listened to them again

and again

and again

KMDSKCD IT’S NOT UR FAULT THAT THEY’RE ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD AND THAT MAYBE U GOT A BIT OFF TRACK CAUSE JISUNGS VOICE = VERY PRETTY 

“hmm well then if u cant sleep then lets go do something !!! “

“ji i said couldn’t sleep,,, past tense,,, i was planning on passing out until noon tomorrow but then u called me”

“well ur awake now”

.......... he had a point

u were wide awake so like ,,,,,,,,,,, why say no ,,,

“y/n ur not getting a choice in the matter anyway cause im at ur house now”

THIS KID I SWEAR HE-

and then there was a tapping at ur window

but jesus lmao that scared u 

u almost fell off ur bed

“JISUNG”

“well are u gonna open the window or not”

;___;

u were still talking over the phone even tho u were two feet away from each other

yes the dumbness genes appear in both sides of the friendship

so u hung up on his ass 

and then went to unlock the window ofc

U WERENT GONNA LEAVE HIM OUT IN THE COLD

UR NOT THAT MEAN 

but because it’s really chilly outside :(( hes got red cheeks ,,,,,, cute ,,,,,

MKXDMSF WAIT WHAT C U TE ????

where did this come from

;________;

aha ah a a ha 

“u hung up on me im sad now :(((”

“jisung- u were right outside”

“Y/N U DIDN’T SAY GOODBYE T T”

and all u could do was cock ur head to the side and stare at him blankly

“well i’ll make sure to say goodbye next time ok ?”

“really o(TヘTo)”

“yes you drama queen”

after u successfully got jisung into ur room and shut the window quietly you just ,, laid back down on ur bed cause like 3am ,,,, tired ,,, 

but now jisung is here AND HE’S LAYING DOWN NEXT TO U AND UR HEARTS DOING THE THUMP THUMP THINGY AND ASMDJSAKFKJ

u’ve known him ur whole life why is it just now ur feeling all these things 

huh

wh y

jisung has slept over PLENTY of times ://// and he’s slept in the same bed with u too cause like ???????

uhhh ?????? 

you’ve known each other since u were tinie babies ???

but now well uh

now ur stomach is doing the flippy thing with all the butterflies ;-;;;;

.....

“jisung”

“hm”

“why’re u here ,,, i mean ,, usually u just call me when something’s up or you cant sleep”

suddenly the silence felt like it was louder than jisung’s usual screaming

“i told u ,,,,, i wanted to go DO something ,,,, i felt cramped up in my house”

“why didn’t u message chan or someone ?? he’s always up at this hour and im usually asleep by now” 

.......................................

“i dont know ,,, i wanted to see u ,,,, i mean do i even need a reason to see u”

“i guess not”

ur face : (・_・;)

ur heart : *MDSJNSFDKMVDSJVMK*

here’s this boy

ur best friend

just laying down next to u

and ur body forgot how to function for a hot second

u ended up burying ur face in ur pillow so he couldn't see ur face getting redder and redder by the second

“well ,,, it’s a bit too late to go out and do anything so ,,, why don’t u just stay over ,, i don’t think my parents will mind” 

“oh yes please (´ ∀ ` *)”

soon enough jisung had changed into a t shirt and sweatpants he had once left at ur house ;;;

because he’s forgetful

stupid

but ,, u know... you maybe ,,,, took the liberty ,,, of wearing them from time to time ,,,

WHAT IT WAS A REALLY COMFY T SHIRT OK >:[[

it was just a bonus that it smelled like him ,,, 

NO NO SHUT UP JAFNCKASMCSAC

THAT DOESNT MATTER ITS NOT THE POINTTTT

“jisung ,,”

“hmm. ... ?”

although clearly he was already half asleep by now ,,, so maybe u could trust that he wouldn’t remember what u were saying ,,

“i couldn’t sleep cause i was thinking of u”

...................

shit shit shi shit did u really say that

shit

can u take it back ???

no stupid time doesn’t work that way

...........

“hey me too .. we’re twins ....”

but before u could process what this half asleep voice was saying jisung had already passed out

(•ิ_•ิ)?

sorry sir what 

wee woo wee woo 

MDKJVNKDSMJDVKMDKDMD !!!!!!

thats ur heart that’s gonna shortcircuit right here !!!!!!

how're you supposed to sleep NOW ???

;_____;

“oh god please don’t remember this in the morning ......”

[autobaby]

i have no one that supports me irl i need something someone that understands even a tiny bit my mom is absolutely disgusting and so fucking awful im so sad that shes like this and wont ever change to being good again instead of evil to me shes gone and shes been gone for so long but she continues to torture me bc i continue to try to express to her how im feeling how im hopeless and desperate and suffering bc i have no one else to express those things to everyday except tumblr and her responses make me wanna self harm or jump off the balcony i dont want to even explain but shes in a cult u get it her ideas and mind are fucked and brainwashed she cant get out of it shes stuck there no matter what it doesnt even matter cause shes gone she is not herself she doesnt exist anymore she doenst do anything anyways in a way shes less alive than me thats just not right idk what to do im terrified everyday conscious or unconscious im exhausted my body hurts and aches im very unhealthy i have no energy or appetite i have no hope ive been living the same day in hell everyday for a year consecutively now due to covid rarely rarely going outside and not far if i do im stuck in a cage a mental cage and a physical one i need help to get out i have no clothes to wear no where to go nothing to do and no one to meet or interact with i have a cat now but im still completely alone and hopeless depression took away all my hobbies passions and interests nothing distracts me from the depression anxiety and pain anymore sleeping doesnt help or give me any release or break but at least i can fall asleep i live in a dark hell hole in the same chair the same room the same bed everyday not moving nothing new no stimulation except watching videos and trying to watch movies but i cant even watch movies im uncomfortable and cant stay focused everything is meaningless and has been forever it feels like it’s been forever since anything has happened or changed im literally in limbo hell but its my own personal hell cause i’ve lost my soul i cant be myself and sing or make art or play or have fun or do anything new and exciting im wasting my precious life beautiful shining body and brain consciousness and soul u know i hate wasting good pure things it gives me great immense anxiety my hair is disgusting cause its so frizzy from all the hair falling out and growing back out again everything is disgusting and bad like actually gross everyday is literally a horror film for me to live through or should i say suffer and rot through bc im not alive there is no living i do not feel pleasure or pleasant or any sort of good in anyway idk what to do at all ive been waiting for some sort of help for years the only thing making me go on is the blind belief that things wont always be this way it wont always be absolutely shitty right? i mean idk things have been known to be bad forever for people but it wont be for me right? something will change for good? it has to right? it cant be like this forever that doesn’t make sense not that anything makes sense ever but the simulation has to change it cant stay static right? right i hope so with the little tiny hope i have left please come and help me i cannot do this anymore if i lose all hope forever its not gonna be good for anyone or anything please help me before its too late i dont wanna die physically yet save me get me out of here! im begging please do something anything!!!

[carlyfrombleachers]

Liveblogging of TS6 (reputation)

Okay. Let me preface this by saying I don’t like Taylor Swift. I think she’s a boring artist, who brings close to nothing to the table. The reason I’m even listening to Reputation is because I keep getting recommended an interview of Jack Antonoff where he talks about New Year’s Day (which is a song on Reputation) and I really want to watch that but I also want to know what the fuck he’s talking about. So here we are. Don’t expect more stuff like this from me. I expect this to be just a one-off thing. Swifties, don’t fucking come after me or I will cry. The only other TS album I listened to was Lover, and I thought it was trash. Absolute garbage. And apparently this one is worse than Lover. I don’t know if I’ll regret this.

Let’s begin, I guess.

...Ready For It?

I keep thinking of that one voice clip from the Hannah Montana intro (?) where you faintly hear a girl say “are you ready for it?” and that’s my first impression just by looking at the title.

I’m hitting ‘play’ right now.

Oh nevermind, I forgot to pay Deezer this month. YouTube it is.

Hey look, Ajay is in my recommended. Queen of reactions.

Help what is this

rockstar taylor??

what the fuck is up with the beat

chorus felt weak. this is my first opinion im not done with the track

i looked at the music video for 3 seconds and i saw a horse bye

i was distracted by the music video help i dont like this

since i looked at the music video for just a lil while i should say it looks weird. it is weird in a bad way it looks like some knockoff cyberpunk thing.

why didnt she just name this “Are You Ready For It?”

I’m... not particularly blown away by this track. It’s fine. I wouldn’t bop to it but I wouldn’t object to it playing somewhere. It’s like... it’s decent.

End Game (ft. Ed Sheeran, Future)

I don’t know who Future is.

she said reputation haha thats the name of the album

ok future is a rapper i dont listen to rap thats why i dont know him

after listening to lover i cant believe this is the same woman this is so weird

not looking forward to the ed sheeran part

“i wanna be your end game” this wasnt really what i was expecting

fuck off ed sheeran (i just reached his part)

according to some tabloid lady gaga mistook ed sheeran for a waiter? i would do the same thing if i saw this redhead fuckface on the street as well lol

“big reputation, big reputation, you and me got a big reputation” so deep!!!

I guess I should take this time to-- is she rapping?

Sorry, I got distracted. I don’t think every song needs to be this huge deep piece that must be deeply analyzed for centuries, but I do expect some interesting message or context for a track at least. If it sounds good, I’d also give it a pass. 

This one? This was boring. I would not verbally object to this playing close to me, I would just have a grossed out look on my face during the chorus.

I Did Something Bad

I keep reading the title in Akasaka Sad’s tune. You know the part where Rina says “A-ka-sa-ka sad, I’m a sucker”? I keep thinking “I did-I did something bad”. I don’t expect it to be like that.

“i never trust a narcissist but they love me” taylor talks about her fanbase

sorry to drag swifties publicly but i will forever take an opportunity to drag a swiftie

predictable antithesis use there with “i did something bad so why does it feel so good” but okay

why was taylor branded a snake again? she pretended it was “””gone””” with lover but like. it’s weird. its not like she punched kanye on stage in 2008 or something. i dont care enough to search for evidence that taylor is a snake so lol go off i guess

dont enjoy the post-chorus part where she’s like drddddddd dddddddd it feels so distracting the gunshots were more than enough

Yeah, this one was fine. My favorite up to this point, I think.

Don’t Blame Me

lol she said “dont blame me” then it buffered bye

i was showering for the past 25 minutes hello i was listening to track 10 and melodrama

i am enjoying this one kinda

“dont blame me love made me crazy” haha wait until you find out what your next era is

“i once was poison ivy now im your daisy” this is a pretty good line honestly

obligatory katy flop moment: haha taylor could hit the high notes in daisy

this sounds like a country song especially in the chorus i dont know what to really make of it

“loooord save me” this is why your female fans are called horse girls

This was... pretty good. The chorus weirds me out still, but it had its good moments. It was nice.

Delicate

stop saying reputation in the reputation album

this autotune voice bits of hers are so distracting

i say as i listen to how i’m feeling now by charli xcx

yes i did just roast myself. gotta leave the swifties with nothing

god the music video for this track has 400m views this woman is making my faves look like indie stars LOL

I keep getting distracted because this song is boring. It’s... okay. I guess. The music video was pretty cute. Nothing caught my attention in the track, but it sounds like gym music. It would play on a gym owned by a 30-something white woman during the yoga classes and you know it.

Look What You Made Me Do

We’ve all heard this song. I’m gonna listen to it and then be done with it.

I guess I’ll just watch the music video.

ONE BILLION VIEWS????????????

Okay. I watched the music video.

Really? All the fem guys dancing with her?

I’m not going to sit here and be like “fem guys are BAD and should all die and never be represented” because… lol. But it is kind of annoying how it was literally just fem guys dancing with her and doing all those faces because you KNOW she was looking for the impressionable gays to go “omg taylor progressive!!!!” and go talk about it on social media.

But am I saying that because I don’t like Taylor? Yes. But that doesn’t make my point less valid.

The music video was pretty good, the production on this track is really good (thank you Jack Antonoff xx) and the track itself is good. Not outstanding or perfect or a serve, it’s good.

Also the ending with all her previous eras? That was cool. The uncool part is most of the “look how rich I am” parts… because we all know you’re rich, Taylor. Nice SFX.

So It Goes…

i got an ad whyyyyyyy

fuck this shit i cant keep up with what shes saying im pulling genius out for this one

this is not lyrically deep i can tell already from genius

im not a fan of love songs i already have CRJ to cover that base and Lorde covers breakup songs I guess and this song is just. boring. lol

Nothing really shocking or noteworthy here, it’s just.. okay.

Gorgeous

I got another ad FUCK

i got a boss baby ad help

god boss baby really was something huh i completely forgot about that

why am i talking about boss baby

okay. reputation

why did a baby say gorgeous

HELP i am so disappointed this is the one track with the lyric video and god this is disappointing

i saw this and i was like “oh shit shes gonna talk about how its gonna be gorgeous when u die” or smth and

lol. LOL. the depth is nonexistent and the bar is in hell

who wrote this? you lied

This song is so boring, LOL. I expected so much from it and was instantly disappointed when the pre-chorus hit. You had everything on your plate and you ate the plate itself. Girl. What the hell. Why. You could’ve given us an anthem about hating your man, and you took the easy route.

Getaway Car

im intrigued

okay im listening and this sounds very jack antonoff? the shotgun thing made me immediately go o_o

it felt a bit weak at the end but at the start i was enjoying it quite a lot… i think this is my fave

I enjoyed this one quite a lot :) It was pretty good but not an amazing masterpiece. It was better than LWTMMD and that’s all I have to say.

King Of My Heart

sounds boring haha

taylor keeps putting these trap beats in things sister youre not lorde LOL

yeah this is kinda boring

WAIT A MINUTE NEW YEARS DAY IS THE LAST TRACK???? IM GONNA HAVE TO STICK UNTIL THE END oh my god please no

i dont. i .. i knew this would be happening but i didnt expect it to be the last one

i guess the timing is accurate ha ha ha ha

i just heard ariana grande

I keep hearing Ariana Grande on this track. Is that good? I don’t know.

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

why are there so many songs in this fucking album

the beat is.. okay. it is catchy

oh i like this i think. its pretty nice

the chorus is nice. yes. i do kind of enjoy this

Yeah, I liked this one. Pretty good writing, and it sounds great.

Dress

wtf is this song why is it so horny

horny taylor is weird stop being horny please

this song is okay i would not revisit it because its just weird. do not like this!!!

when carly rae jepsen says slide on through my window it is funny but when taylor sings i bought this dress so you could take it off i die

oh that second of silence was really good

[looks at the producer] [it’s jack antonoff] :)

This song weirds me out. I don’t like it. It had its moments production-wise but it was... weird.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

I expect good things from this. With a title like that? Give me a bop.

Currently not being a bop.

Okay, it was cute. Nothing amazing. Just… fine. Cute attempt.

oh i liked the spoken part thats what i expected from this song

Call It What You Want

this is about genitalia this is my prediction

It was not about genitalia.

This song is pretty good if you remove all the mentions to her lover and her man and her baby, which are all the same person, I guess.

This is disappointing.

JACK ANTONOFF BACKING VOCALS

I LOVE YOU JACK

umm anyways

OH HE DID IT AGAIN IM GONNA CRY i love this man

I expected so much from this track and the chorus just… disappointed me.

JACK!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! KEEP SINGING!!!!!

i love this man im gonna cry

The highlight of this song is the part where Jack Antonoff sings.

New Year’s Day

wow the reason why im doing this shit

look at him. :)

this song was cute. nothing special. just cute. very okay.

just. okay. yeah. pretty fine.

nothing special.

Final Thoughts On The Album

It was better than Lover.

I expected this to be a concept album, all about the drama she’s gotten into? But it was just boring love songs with some extra flair. I expected great things from this album, having only heard LWYMMD from it before this. A concept album that’s just an answer/clapback to everyone’s who wronged her à la Yellow Flicker Beat (I know it’s for a movie but that song slaps and I don’t know a thing about Hunger Games) would’ve been PERFECT but it was just... love songs. I need Taylor to stop singing about love and start serving us big meals.

I would not like to revisit this. Like, 5/10. It could’ve been a lot better, but it wasn’t because you’re too afraid to cross some lines, Taylor.

Final Ranking:

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

Getaway Car

Look What You Made Me Do

I Did Something Bad

Don’t Blame Me

New Year’s Day

Call It What You Want

...Ready For It?

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

So It Goes...

End Game (feat. Ed Sheeran, Future)

Dress

Delicate

King Of My Heart

Gorgeous

taylor flop stream gone now

[pinkykitten]

never give UP

Stranger Things

Billy Hargrove x female! reader

Warning: car accident, hospital, drinking and driving (do not do pls), speeding (also do not do), mentions of abuse, mentions of suicide, alcohol

Specifics: angst, romance, race neutral reader, one-shot

People: billy hargrove, max mayfield, neil hargrove, your dad, your mom, your doctor 

Words: 1,747

Request: By @intheendyouwillalwayskneel Hi, could I please get a Billy x romantic reader where Billy is speeding and they get into a wreck and she is permanently injured. Maybe she lurches forward and hits her head on the the breaking windshield. Then develops a brain hemorrhage and falls into a coma. Billy is horrified and heartbroken because it's all his fault.

Authors Note: wow this one i think i went a little overboard with the drama and story srry im a bit of a drama queen so ta-ta. this has a lot of things in it so if u cant read it or dont want to read it no shame and no hate, u do u. i do hope for those to read it to like it cuz i wanted to think outside the box. srry this took me quite a while to make another story ive just been rlly busy lately atm. 

Crazy little thing called love played loudly on the speakers in Billy’s car. The windows were opened as the wind howled against your ears. The car’s engine roared as it sped down the darkly lit street. It was late at night and some folks would say that it was too dangerous for a drive but you and Billy were daredevils. You were opened to a rebellious chapter in your life after you met Billy. He was willing to take risks, he was the bad boy you would read every night in your romance books. 

Your hand danced in the air outside of the window, creating a wave against the waving trees. You sang to the music as Billy laughed. He laughed like a mad man, feeling the adrenaline rush through his body. You and him howled like a bunch of crazy teenagers you were. You were young and you wanted to live your life. 

“So how is this y/n? Is this wild enough for ya?” Billy shouted over the blaring music. 

You took a swig of some alcohol located under the seat. It burned your throat as the liquid made its way down. You gave a look of disgust. Billy chuckled and took a drink himself, “too strong for you?”

You shook your head as you felt light. Alcohol still new to you so that small sip made you feel tipsy. You scooted closer to Billy and wrapped your hands around his face, bringing him closer to you. You kissed his lips and his cheek. Your lips made their way to his earlobe, biting lightly on the skin and then whispering into his ear, “Crazy turns me on.”

Billy raised his brow as he smirked, “is that so!” As quick as light his foot stepped on the gas pedal making the car seem to fly through the air. The miles were going higher and higher. At first you were having fun, enjoying the excitement but now it was getting too dangerous. Your smile disappeared and instead a frown was found on your face. You were actually scared.

“Billy okay thats enough. Slow down.”

He would not. Instead he sped more. 

“Billy, I said stop it!” You were shaking. The car was going so fast that any minute it felt as if it would turn over and tumble around. Billy cackled loudly. His old, selfish attitude resurfacing. Out from the turn came a truck. Billy was speeding to such a degree that the car was zig-zagging. The car and the truck were about to make contact. Billy was like a deer in headlights. His laughing stopped and now all he did was freeze. He didn’t know what to do. He quickly lifted his hand to go across your body while your hands laid against the steering wheel. The wheel turned and the car spun out of control. It missed the truck but rolled down a grassy hill. The spin was so rough that you lunged forward, hitting your head against the windshield. 

Billy quickly made sure you were alright but was met with a distraught view. Your head laid back against the seat. Your forehead was bloody and blood dripped out of your nose. You laid unconscious. Billy was so scared for you. He shook you, wanting you to wake up, “Y/n! Y/n! Please y/n please wake up. Please, I’m sorry.” Tears started to pour out of his eyes. He wanted you to be safe, to be happy. 

He felt so guilty. Seeing you in the hospital bed, machines and things poking into you. It was all his fault. He would visit you everyday, no matter what. You weren’t respondent though, you were in a coma. Every day he hoped and prayed that you would wake up from it. It didn’t matter if you didn’t want to see him anymore or hated him he just needed you awake and alive. Your parents were furious. He would dodge seeing them every time. They wanted to kill him and probably stop him from seeing you but he couldn’t let that happen. 

He needed to see you. 

Billy entered into your room, flowers in hand. He set the flowers in a vase and put them beside you on the table. The doctor told him that even though you couldn’t move or be aware of anything you still could hear. Billy would always speak to you. He would tell you about his day, about your gifts, about your family. Even though he was going through a rough time at his home, you mattered more to him. 

“Hey babe, its me Billy. I got you your favorite flowers today,” he softly massaged your hands. Hating seeing them motionless. Billy had cried so much during this time with you. He hated himself more now if that was even possible. He felt he was a failure to everyone, to you, to Max, to his mother. He felt he was just a waste. Tears started to drip from his eyes onto his cheek, “you know Max made a card for you.” He chuckles seeing the odd stickers on it and the drawings. He placed it next to your flowers. “She hopes you feel better and she misses you. I miss you too. Your parents miss you.” Silence. He despised the silence. He just wished you would jump out from that bed and live. “Baby, you gotta wake up. It doesn’t have to be for me, its has to be for your parents and for yourself. I’m so sorry for putting you through this. Its all my fault. I should be the one there not you, me!’

A knock filled in the silence. Quickly, Billy wiped his tears and saw that it was the doctor who came in. “Is everything alright here?”

Billy nodded. “Is everything okay doctor?”

“Well...y/n is going to have some complications if she wakes up from this coma. She developed a brain hemorrhage and we’re looking at maybe some sort of paralysis. We’re suspecting half of her body but it may be more, we’re not 100 percent sure.”

Billy was shocked and he couldn’t stop himself from crying.

“You monster!” Your father came in along with your mother. Your father ran up to Billy and clutched onto his denim jacket, tears also coming down his face. “How could you do this to my daughter?” The doctor was trying to stop the fight but your father was so irate. Your mother was sobbing in the background and Billy wished in that moment he was dead. Your father shook Billy and screamed at him. “You did this to her. Take a good look at her!” Billy turned to the side and saw you. You laid there calm. Tubes connected to you. “I never want to see you again. Not here, not now, not ever. If she wakes up from this she is banned from seeing or even talking about you. You will stop seeing her here and I swear to God if you think about walking in here again I will make sure you go through the same sufferings as my daughter!” Your dad shoved Billy out of the room and Billy ran out of the hospital. Sobbing silently, alone, quietly outside. Wishing the nightmares would just end. 

Billy had tried to see you in the hospital but your father was always there and the doctors knew he wasn’t allowed there anymore. Billy made a turn for the worst. He just couldn’t live without you. He started to go to alcohol for comfort, missing school and his temper rising even more, taking it out on Max. He was a mess. It was either feeling guilty over what happened with you or getting abused. There was no happiness for Billy. 

Billy had woken up with a hangover. Throwing up in the toilet. He was done with this life. Then the doorbell rang. Billy thought it was another one of Max’s loser friends so he called out to her. There was no answer. “Max! I said get the God da*n door!” There was still no answer. Billy walked over the door, cursing to himself as the room started to spin. As he opened the door he was greeted with your face. You stood there, smiling, a cane in your hand as you leaned on if for support. Billy opened his mouth wide in shock, thinking he was dreaming as he sometimes had dreams or feelings that he saw his mother sometimes. 

“Is that really you y/n?”

You nodded and jumped onto him for a hug. You gently caressed his curls. “Its me Billy. Its really me.”

“Wait,” he backed away from you. “No this isn’t right. You hate me! You’re supposed to hate me! I hurt you. I did this all to you. I’m, I’m a monster!” He started to cry as his lips trembled. 

You shook your head, “no, no Billy. Its okay,” you cradled him in your arms. “I’m fine now. I feel better.” You looked into his eyes. “Look at me, you are not a monster. I don’t hate you Billy, I could never. I forgive you for what happened but there was nothing to forgive in the first place. I love you Billy. With every fiber in my body I love you. I could never be apart from you. I know about all the things you did in the hospital. All the things you said, the gifts, Billy that wasn’t hate that was love. You did all that because you love me. What we both did was wrong that day. We should of never drank and speed, but its in the past know, we learn from our mistakes. I’m not like your parents or anybody else in your life that leaves you. I’m staying put right beside you forever. You can never get rid of me.”

Billy felt speechless in that moment. How did he get so lucky to be with you? What did he do to deserve such an angel as yourself? Billy embraced you again, “I love you so much y/n. I love you so much.” He kept repeating. You placed your hands on his jaw and kissed his lips lovingly. Billy was so grateful to have you in his life. Even though his life with his dad was not easy he had you to lean on. He had you to make him smile and laugh. He had you to keep him going and to remind him to never give up. 

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @idontknowwhattocallthisworld (wont let me tag)

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

[slowedreverb]

ok hold on i am venting u rly dont need to read i just need to get it out but someone tell me i dont need her back in my life lmao if u read this tell me if u think she’s worth it.

so i had this friend right . lets say idk abby ... so abby and i were best friends for a hot minute and  we would go to festivals together and everything but i always felt like i lived in her shadow forever. i always felt so bad about myself when i stood next to her because she was drop dead gorgeous and literally everyone wanted her. so like yeah maybe those were my problems alone  and one time for spring break we went to los angeles and let me just list u some things that happened - she got onto a list for a party (mind u it was just me and her traveling together) and it was an hour away. we ran into two guys who were our friends back home so they drove us because they had their car and we didnt (it was an hour away, the uber would have been $120 there n back). she was on the list and all she had to do was tell the people that got her on the list that she had a guest (guys had to pay regardless). she went in without me. didn’t wanna say she had a guest. - those two guys as out friends from home wanted to have a threesome with her lmao. guess who was left out while they planned it? me.  - she met some guy on the street claiming he could make her a model as long as she came to x address the next day. next day, she booked an uber to go to this shady ass place and as much as i wanted to let her go alone (because i sure as hell wasnt gonna put myself in that situation) i came to make sure she was safe. she got paid $200 for modeling while i took her pictures and got none???? lmao - while walking the streets one night, a group of 6 guys come between us and try to talk to her and touch her. i pull her away eventually. they start yelling at us and bullshit. they yell at me saying “you’re not even cute! you? you’re ugly as hell. people only talk to you because your friend’s cute!” (this was already how i felt since the beginning so this dude like solidified my feelings) abby doesn’t say anything and we hide in a smoke shop for a little bit until they pass. we start walking again and eventually come across them, this time the guys are yelling at me for protecting abby. they corner me and her and abby goes “wait why are you guys fighting? cant you guys just be friends?” literally after they disrespected me and called me all these names. dude says he’s got money and a big property and that she should remember his name, she literally notes it down. says we should apologize to each other and im like ??? what ??? bro are u dead ass????  this dude literally tried to hit me and she wants ME to APOLOGIZE ???? - that was the last night of the trip and she didnt get why i was so upset for several reasons. i hide away and cry for two hours. she comes up and finds me and i try to talk to her about how i feel once we’re back in our room and im  spiling out my feelings to her and i look over and she’s literally closing her eyes like shes trying to sleep and i ask her if shes sleeping and she says no looks at me for a few seconds as i continue taking and she turns to her side and closes her eyes again. she tells me she doesnt understand, i try to explain, she tells me im making her feel dumb. i apologize and ask her if theres anything she wanted to say since we were talking out feelings out, she says nothing and closes her eyes again.

- next month, we go to a festival. she makes me drive two hours there because we agreed she’d drive back so i have time to study on the way back because i had an exam. she makes me drive on the way back too.  - that night, she slept on the bed while i slept on an actual chair lmao

- summer comes along and i make all these plans with her but she starts to reply less and i ask her “why havent we hung out?” because i saw her complainin about having nothing to do and she goes “guess we just havent made any plans” w the shrugging emoji but literally two days before i made plans for us ???????? - i texted her asking if i could swing by her place so i could get some stuff i left. we plan a time before she goes to work so we could see each other. by the time i get there, she texts me saying its outside. all my shit was bagged up n left on the curb ??? lmao and that was literally our last interaction until today. i saw her post about something that made her upset and i told her i was there for her if she needed it. like a dumbass. lmao. and she left me on read, which is fine, im not entitled to a reply but like .... im upset in a way???