#Especially like I do everything on my phone and writing and formatting the Tumblr posts has been nightmare

[rockitmans]

Gone fishin'

I'm taking a lil break from tumblr. I'm still intending to write each day but I'm going to post the rest of my fic all in one go. Hopefully on Valentine's Day.

Much love to everyone that's been going on this journey with me but the daily posting is just hard to manage on top of life stuff atm!

[leiasources]

leiasources  presents    (  . . .  )    LEIASOURCES’  GROUP  VERSE  DISCORD  SERVER  TEMPLATE.

via  the  source  link,  you  will  be  able  to  access  a  discord  server  template  designed  for  group  verses.  this  template  is  based  off  of  the  template  that  i  use  when  creating  group  verse  servers  of  my  own  which  differs  just  slightly  from  servers  that  i've  been  in  and  seen  in  the  past.  beneath  the  cut,  i  provide  a  breakdown  of  the  server,  bot  recommendations  and  how  i  personally  utilize  the  provided  categories  and  channels!  you're  free  to  edit  (  add,  remove,  and  rename  categories  and  channels,  etc.  )  as  much  as  you'd  like.  if  you  found  this  helpful  and  especially  if  you  plan  on  using  the  template,  please  like  and  /  or  reblog  this  post.

firstly,  for  the  server  and  for  all  servers,  i  highly  recommend  using  carl-bot.  carl-bot  comes  with  a  lot  of  features  that  can  be  accessed  within  discord  or  their  site  but  the  ones  that  i  find  myself  using  the  most  in  servers  for  group  verses  are  reaction  roles  and  with  carl-bot  i  often  customize  welcome  and  leaving  messages  too.

WHAT’S  PROVIDED  IN  THE  TEMPLATE,  LEIA?

in  the  template,  there  are  EIGHT  (8)  CATEGORIES  (  WELCOME,  INFORMATION,  GENERAL,  SOCIAL  MEDIA,  PHONES,  LOCATIONS,  HOMES,  AND  ADMINS  ONLY  )  and  within  those  categories  are  VARIOUS  CHANNELS  that  i  feel  correspond  with  the  category  that  they're  in.  as  for  roles,  the  template  comes  with  roles  for  ADMINS/MODS,  MEMBERS  and  BOTS.

in  the  WELCOME  category,  there  are  two  (2)  channels,  landing  and  rules  and  regulations.

in  the  INFORMATION  category,  there  are  six  (6)  channels,  announcements,  faceclaim  roster,  muse  roster,  mun  introductions,  muse  introductions,  and  triggers.

in  the  GENERAL  category,  there  are  six  (6)  channels,  chatting,  appreciation,  venting,  previously  on,  starboard,  and  tupperbox.

in  the  SOCIAL  MEDIA  category,  there  are  six  (6)  channels,  mass  chat,  confessions,  facebook,  instagram,  spotify  and  twitter.

in  the  PHONES,  LOCATIONS,  and  HOMES  categories,  there  are  four  (4)  channels  each  and  they  were  made  solely  for  you  to  copy  and  paste  the  format  and  edit  to  fit  your  needs.  e.g.,  for  the  phones  and  homes,  you  would  copy  and  paste  the  provided  format  and  replace  ‘first  and  last’  with  your  muses  first  and  last  name,  and  for  the  locations,  you  would  copy  and  paste  the  provided  format  and  replace  ‘location’  with  a  location  within  the  city  /  town  your  group  verse  is  set.

in  the  ADMINS  ONLY  category,  there  are  two  (2)  channels,  admins  chat  and  tumblr  notifs.

***  THE  WELCOME  CATEGORY  AND  THE  CHANNELS  WITHIN  IT  ARE  AVAILABLE  TO  EVERYONE.  i.e.,  those  with  and  without  a  role. ***  THE  INFORMATION,  GENERAL,  SOCIAL  MEDIA,  PHONES,  LOCATIONS,  AND  HOMES  CATEGORIES  AND  THE  CHANNELS  WITHIN  IT  ARE  AVAILABLE  TO  BOTS  AND  THOSE  WITH  THE  MEMBERS  ROLE.  i.e.,  you  will  have  to  assign  the  member  role  to  your  members  for  them  to  be  able  to  view  and  send  messages  in  these  categories  and  channels. ***  THE  ADMINS  ONLY  CATEGORIES  AND  THE  CHANNELS  WITHIN  IT  ARE  AVAILABLE  TO  THOSE  WITH  THE  ADMINS/MODS  ROLE.  i.e.,  you  will  have  to  assign  the  admins/mods  role  to  all  admins  and  moderators  for  them  to  be  able  to  view  and  send  messages  in  these  categories  and  channels.

LEIA,  WHAT  DO  YOU  DO  WITH  SOME  OF  THESE  CATEGORIES  /  CHANNELS?

THE  SOCIAL  MEDIA,  PHONES,  LOCATIONS  and  HOMES  CATEGORIES  ARE  MEANT  FOR  IN  CHARACTER  INTERACTIONS.

in  the  SOCIAL  MEDIA  category,  #confessions  was  made  with  the  confessions  bot  in  mind,  and  #facebook,  #instagram,  #spotify  and  #twitter  are  where  your  muses  could  post  as  if  they’re  posting  on  the  respective  social  media  platforms.

in  the  GENERAL  category,  #previously-on  was  made  with  the  idea  to  help  admins  and  members  keep  track  of  everything  that  has  happened  in  character  in  mind.  if  or  when  something  major  happens  to  a  muse  or  between  muses  in  character,  members  can  write  about  it  in  this  channel.  #starboard  was  made  with  the  starboard  bot  in  mind  and  #tupperbox  is  where  members  could  drop  tupperbox  commands.

in  the  PHONES,  LOCATIONS  and  HOMES  categories,  rather  than  give  every  muse  their  own  category  like  some  servers  do,  i  opt  instead  to  provide  these  categories  and  give  every  muse  their  own  channel,  and  in  those  channels,  writers  can  either  post  in  the  channel  itself  or  create  a  thread  within  the  channel  and  post  there. 

if  you  have  any  questions,  feel  free  to  contact  me  via  ask  box  or  im’s!

[mumms-the-word]

#17 for the writer's asks. Like you have a schedule for Nautera, and I can't fathom writing fast enough to strick to a schedule 😭, or being certain I wouldn't want to change some parts until the fic is almost done. So I'm interested to hear what your process is!

Oh man this question is so complicated for me haha here we go. Looong answer ahead so I've put most of it under the cut!

17. talk about your writing and editing process

okay so let me start off by saying...I don't have a consistent process haha

I do up to a point. So most of the time for fic, when I get an idea, I'll mull it around in my head a bit, and I might jot down a few lines or notes I don't want to forget in the Notes app (either on my phone or on my laptop), and then I'll set it aside for when I have time to write it. Then I write it, read over it the next day for edits, put it in tumblr for another round of edits, and post it when I feel like I'm happy with it.

But in reality? Oof. It really just depends. (also TLDR, writing is a process, and I love my fanfic community <3)

Sometimes the inspiration to write a whole oneshot or scene takes me and I'll write out a first draft right there in the Notes app (I tend to sacrifice work when I do this, which is bad and often why I end up with so much unfinished work with deadlines staring me dead in the face at the last minute. So I do not recommend this, but hyperfixation will hyperfixate...) I believe I wrote the entire first drafts for Choosing to Live and Ascension, Return in one day each.

Other times, I'll come back to it and play around with it for a bit. Sometimes the writing is easy! Chapter 4 for In Fathoms Below was super fun for me to write (especially the last half) because I had battle music playing and I was just so excited to get to the dragon turtle reveal. Chapter 5, which will be a much more intense action/adventure scene, was significantly harder and took much longer. I think I spent several days, probably a week fighting with that chapter, because I wanted it to be good, fast-paced, and tense...but also make sense. I'll probably still mess with it before it posts on Friday.

Sometimes, I can write a whole scene/chapter in a day. Other times it takes me several days. It really just depends. Sometimes music helps. Sometimes I just can't make one single paragraph work and it frustrates me for days (*coughcoughCHAPTER 5cough*). Sometimes I write myself into a corner and I don't know how to fix what I did, but I'm too stubborn to delete anything just yet or start over. Not every chapter/scene/oneshot is the same!

Once I have a full draft of the chapter/oneshot, however, then I start to edit it. This also changes up depending on the project. For a oneshot, I might read through it twice on my Notes app, adjusting things as I go. I try not to write a full oneshot and post it on the same day so I can sleep on it and come back to it with a fresh brain (mini fics like the Nightfall and alone, finally fics don't count, I'll post those after two read-throughs on the same day because they are asks).

Once I'm half-satisfied with it in Notes, then I'll stick it into tumblr on my laptop and use the Grammarly widget to help catch grammar mistakes. Reading it in a different font/arrangement/format also helps with finding mistakes or catching awkward sentences. Once I'm happy with it on tumblr, I'll queue it up to post, and then copy/paste everything into AO3 and post it there once it goes live on tumblr.

For a chapter of my longfics, however, I might read it several times. I'll go back and read the previous chapter and then the current one to make sure I've kept things consistent and that everything flows or transitions from one chapter to the next, for example. I'll read it once a day for a couple of days (maybe skipping a day if I'm frustrated with it) and see what each new day brings in terms of edits, fixes, and ideas. With the Masquerade longfic, because it's kind of just for me and a friend (though I'm excited that others are enjoying it too!), I'll post the chapter as soon as I'm relatively satisfied with it, maybe only spending 2-3 days on edits (not counting time spent writing a full draft).

For the Nautera/Atlantis fic, however, because I know there's a bit more hype from 2-3 more readers (and people have been SO lovely in their comments on AO3 as well!! <3), I put a smidge more effort into it. For one, I set up a schedule and wrote several chapters in advance, because last week and this week is PACKED with deadlines and work I ignored while doing other things (ahem, like writing the Atlantis fic). I wrote 4 chapters pretty much in the span of a week and then held off posting any of them until I had a good queue lined up. Then I queued them up over two weeks.

The benefit to this is that it gives me breathing room to write at my own pace while still ensuring I have content for my readers...which is different than the Masquerade fic, which I kind of write "as the inspiration strikes" and so I don't update it nearly as consistently (sorry friends). Trust me, if I posted chapters as soon as I had them ready, I would've posted 4 chapters back to back on the same day or on 4 days, and then we'd be waiting 2-3 weeks (or months) for the next chapter. I'd get bogged down by shame, I'd contemplate quietly quitting the project, it would be a whole thing. The queue helps me and my readers. I really need to implement it for the masquerade fic too.

(I still have a queue going, actually. I currently have Nautera's chapter 5 queued up to post on Friday and chapter 6 in a "midway" draft stage, and the start of chapter 7 in Notes. I don't normally write that far ahead! But the idea has me in a chokehold...and I'd rather write it than work, unfortunately.)

HOWEVER. The benefit and downside to having the chapters queued up and being excited for them is that I can still mess with them. So for the Nautera/Atlantis chapters, they might sit in my queue for a week, and every day I might go back in and make tiny adjustments. So for some things, I might only do a day of edits, maybe 2 days. For something like the Nautera/Atlantis fic, though? I have a bad habit of messing with each chapter several times lol sometimes this is fine and sometimes I feel like I'm messing with them too much, you know?

All that said, for some reason, fics don't trigger my perfectionism, even knowing I have actual readers reading and responding to them. You'd think they would, but they don't. Unlike my original book projects, which trigger my perfectionism so bad I haven't finished several of them because I want to keep messing with them, fics are consumed so quickly I feel less pressure about sharing them. I think there's a kind of freedom in knowing that once it's posted, it's out there, for better or for worse. You can fix minor edits, but you don't necessarily have to sweat the small stuff because it's just fanfic, it's posted for free, and if people don't want to read it, it's not personal. It's been really fun, actually, and I love the little community I've built making BG3 fics for people (and for myself).

I think, also, it's been healthy for me to hone my writing craft/skills away from fandom spaces first. I didn't get an AO3 until this year and I'm in my late 20s. I think if I had tried to write fanfic when I was a teen or even in my early 20s, I'd be too obsessed with the numbers. At this point in my life, I'm just happy to get a couple of comments, and happier still that my writing brings 4-5 people joy <3

It also helps to remember the wise words of one of my graduate instructors when it comes to certain projects: Done is better than good. This is a life-saver for essays and school projects, of course, but for fic, I know we want our content to be good. So I'll adjust it for fic here:

Done is better than perfect.

[zeltqz]

niyaaaa do u have any tips for people who wanna get into fic writing? 👀

i don’t really get how the whole posting format for fics works on here tbh 😭 and like your info area it’s so cool

YEAH OFC!! btw dm me your username so i can follow and support you <3

tip 1- the posting format isnt that hard to get used to actually its just you create a tumblr text post and then copy and paste your fic onto it, add the tags and stuff then post it. if you want to add banners, headers and stuff to make it look better then go ahead, just add images to the text post

tip 2- the info area is the same as above, just add pictures of your choice etc to the text post, add your information, name, age, fav things etc and then to link posts to your post, highlight where u want the link to go, then copy the link of the post u want linked then press the hyperlink that looks like two chains linked together when you highlight the text if that makes sense? sounds like a lot but its rlly not i promise haha

tip 3- always type your fics on other apps like word or google docs since they have an auto save feature!! i dont reccomend typing your fics on tumblr since one if the app crashes, it doesn't automatically save your work so everything you wrote will get deleted (some versions of tumblr do have autosave, my laptop has it but my phone and iPad doesn't, so i dont rely on it)

tip 4- idk if you want tips on actual fic writing or just how to get your fics onto tumblr but ill help you with that anyway. with me when i write fics i always imagine it out in my head. theres some of my fics where i just went with the flow and wrote wgatever came to mind and those are the fics i hate the most because they dont rlly make sense to me. theyre always so random and it just seems rushed and bad.

i picture my fics like a scene in my head and whatever i want the character to do, think, say or feel i write that shit down asap. i use other online sources to help get more descriptive like the emotion theasurus <- honestly one of my favourite things to use ever, they have so much body language to use for every emotion in the damn book

dialogue is also something i find difficult. i've improved i personally feel like but its still hard for me especially if im writing a new character. i never want to make the character seem OOC so i do lots of research before hand. i normally use the wiki to read up on a characters personality.

for example i'll use ran for this since he's like 99% of my account lmao. in the wiki, he's described as "naturally whimsical toward others which makes him inscrutable" though ran doesnt have many scenes in the manga (which i hate bc i love him sm) its impossible to actually write him down to a tee so i use that naturally whimsical description to make him playful, charismatic, carefree etc, going off what little information i have with him.

getting a characters personality down is what can make or break a dialogue. for me when im reading a fic of a character and their dialogue is so OOC it puts me off and i dont even wanna read. so i apply my same fic icks to myself and think if I don't like seeing this and that in a fic, why would I incorporate those in my fics and have ppl get put off it if they have the same fic icks as me?

hope that makes sense!!

tip 5- dont rush yourself at all. i used to rush a few of my fics and i just ended up hating it so much after and fought bck the urge to delete them so many times but then i'd see people's comments and realise i was being too harsh on myself. i'd keep them up but i'd just hate seeing them get attention.

rushing only makes you hate your work and the quality of your work will decline if you are not in the right headspace.

thats also why i have the don't rush me thing in my rules because not only is it annoying to see people constantly asking for updates, it also makes me mad because i know i'll just put out a piece of garbage if i did rush.

also another tip don't give yourself deadlines!! if you know your writing consistency can be a little sloppy, don't tell your followers that you're going to upload every so and so day. if something happens and you miss the deadline, you'll feel bad and rush something out and most times out of ten, a rushed fic doesn't do well. so take your time and don't rush.

tip 6- dont listen to what other people say or feel obligated to write something you don't wanna. establish your boundaries!! for example, from day one i started this blog i said im accepting requests but i will not write anything to do with non-con, incest or minors. i made sure that was out there so i wouldn't feel uncomforable writing anything i wasn't comfy with.

there are people on this app that may like your writing and request you to write something for them. you are not obligated to write anything for anyone! don't feel like you have to just because they asked nicely.

if you want to accept requests you can im not saying you shouldn't, im saying don't feel like you have to. you always have a choice. its your blog.

tip 7- remember this isn't a job. you're allowed to take breaks, allowed to have a personal life. don't feel like you need to be updating every day. i used to think i was obligated to be uploading consistently at least every week because i was obsesssed with engagement and seeing peoples comments and was scared if i took a break ppl will unfollow. now i honestly don't care. i'm not active as much as i used to because of school and that's fine! if ppl want to leave, let them. don't feel like you're forced to keep being active in order to keep your follower count stable.

tip 8- this app can get really toxic sometimes. luckily enough i've only had one toxic anon in my inbox and i've been on this app for a year. some people have so many, some ppl get harrassed etc. if that happens to you just be prepared since there's no actual way to find out who's behind anons. you can turn off your anon options which means if ppl want to inbox you something then their account will be showing. some people arent comfortable with that and that's fine! i keep mine on because i want people to feel comfortable on my page.

just remember though if you ever feel like this app is getting overwhelming take breaks! for the sake of your mental health take breaks. i know so many writers on here that took breaks and came back healthier and stronger.

i feel like this tip goes for social media in general. as much as i love social media im aware how unhealthy it is. breaks are so important for you. remember that.

i can't think of anymore tips right now but if i have some more i will edit the post and add it on.

if u have anymore questions about the tumblr posting format dm me and ill help you out :))

[pocket-lin]

9 and 10 for the fandom asks!

hi!! thank you!! I apologize if the formatting is weird for this, I wrote half of it on my phone notes app the the rest on the Tumblr site and also I just generally don't know how to do things hahah

(i'm focussing on the sandman cuz I think that’s the biggest fandom we share!!)

9. a ship that isn't your OTP but that you enjoy

so dreamling is my ultimate sandman ship, BUT. two other ones I love are:

dream/hob/corinthian aka hobrintheus. everyone go read @softest-punk’s fic self-abandon, and the confounding effects thereof !! hob humanizing the corinthian (calling him cori), the corinthian being so genuinely in love with hob, dream being being so very dream about the situation… pure excellence. I have a handful of other fics I can rec for this ship, too!!

dream/hob/daniel. this is 10000000% @moorishflower’s fault because their Beautiful, Strange and New series is fucking unparalleled  (tbh everything they write is like a drug to me). the main fic was so incredibly fun to read while it was a wip!!! especially when the story gets to that part (ifkyk). 

10. a blog (mutual or one you follow) that has made your fandom experience brighter

okay this question is so hard to answer because I’ve only got back into any fandom in 2022 (long and kinda sad story) and I haven’t quite gotten up the gumption to talk to many people outside of commenting on fics. so!! I’m just gonna shoutout some more fics I love from the people I talked about in the other answer!

here’s a few more @softest-punk fics that I recommend, especially if you like alternate universes, a hopelessly-in-love hob, and support the Trans Agenda:

Catching Up - human/no powers au with alternating pov. all that post-fishbowl trauma goodness with an incredibly sweet hob who just wants to take care of his dear friend (who he is also hopelessly in love with but that's nbd)

Falling - another human/no powers au! strangers to friends to lovers story with extremely hot sex. i'm remembering how much I love this one and I'm about to go reread it!!

Half sleep, half waking- this is one of their most recents fics and it's a rivers of london crossover!! 1989 fishbowl rescue au (alternating hob and nightingale pov) where hob enlists the help of his friend (and ex-lover) dci nightingale to figure out why his oldest friend (who he is hopelessly in love with) missed their centennial meeting. I love hob's whole "thing" in this one–I have a personal head canon that he would absolutely have all kinds of rizz with the potentially less than human and/or immortal components of the world.

here's some more @moorishflower fics I recommend, especially if you like alternate universes, delicious angst, and extremely well thought out world-building! I don't know the best way to word this (fiction writing isn't my strong suit), but the way that this author describes things makes me go insane. they know exactly how to describe how things taste/smell/feel and it just completely transports me into the story.

iron, glass, bones, blood - monster4monster, love but the kind of love where you want to pin them to a board like a butterfly and find out what their blood looks like under a microscope, kink as a way to reclaim trauma... I literally cannot tell you how many times I've read this fic. it feels like it was pulled from the very depths of my subconscious.

On sexual dimorphism in C. urophasianus - (if you know me irl, no you don't) very lighthearted, non-traditional a/b/o, omegas are very empowered. they've only been together one week and it's still very new between them and now dream has to "court" hob because of his instincts going all crazy. very, very sweet!!

17th Century Knife Restoration - this fic made me cryyyyyy. hob watching a restoration video on YouTube and uh oh its his knife and uh oh now he has many feelings. to be loved is to be known, and also to be changed 💜

also their Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs series' most recent fic, Basic Needs, is currently posting and is making ME have many feelings!! check this one out if you want mutual pining of the most desperate nature, down and out dream and caretaker hob (oh and hob has a gigantic dick and dream is obsessed with it)

[yourlocalartsonist]

ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter One

A/N: HI I’M FINALLY POSTING THE FIRST CHAPTER. Really excited and super nervous but I’m SO happy I can finally share this with everyone. I’m not doing a drawing for every chapter since that’d be selling my soul to the red dilf down below but this is the first chapter so I figured why not do something special. Also apologies if any of the characters seem ooc, I’m still learning how to write them so it might take a bit (especially the dialogue). Also also, sorry if the formatting seem weird, I just copy pasted a google doc into Tumblr and I haven’t entirely figured out how this app works yet. ANYWHIZZLE despite all that I hope y’all enjoy and I can’t wait to write more ^^

Next Chapter

Masterlist

Disclaimer: chapter involves themes of manipulation, violence, and curse words. If you’re sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe <3

I looked out the window and sighed. Today could have been a lot worse, sure, but it also could’ve been a whole lot better.

It was one am on a Monday night. Staying up this late this early in the week is gonna guarantee a begrudgingly painful school life till Friday. And yet, here I was, staring at my phone at his texts.

Zane: Hey! You were active on insta. How come you didn’t text back?

Zane: hey it’s been an hour now. I’m starting to worry about you

Zane: Salena are you ignoring me? I already said I was sorry

Zane: fine then. Don’t text me. But at least talk to me tomorrow. I miss you.

Zane: Goodnight.

He was getting clingier by the day. Last month when he asked me out, I was worried rejecting him would break his heart. Somehow, it looks like it had the opposite effect and boosted his ego since he’s only gotten more pushy after that. I mean today he picked a fight with a guy just for talking to me. It’s getting ridiculous.

I groaned and hopped off bed to get a drink of water. I know I should probably forgive him, I’m sure he’s just coping differently maybe. It’ll get better with time. I hope it gets better with time. Otherwise the next four months are gonna be excruciatingly long. Still, I can’t just not be mad after what he did.

As I lamented in my depressive thoughts, I saw four figures out the window, running from rooftop to rooftop. Smiling, I opened the window and let the cool air and the joyous voices flow in. At least one good thing’s coming out from today.

It looked like they were chasing someone, a giant pig man specifically. I would’ve been more freaked out if this was the first human-animal thing I saw.

The very first time I saw one was a giant bull in a bellboy uniform running along the sidewalk, clumsily knocking anything and everything over as he wept. I assumed my sleep deprived brain was probably making things up again but the sheer absurdity of it paired with the fact that my sleep schedule was actually decent that week, I began to question that guess. Then, only ten minutes later, seeing four human-sized turtles walking upright seemingly searching for the bull man sealed the deal that I could not be making this shit up.

But that was two or three years ago. Now, it’s more of a fun surprise seeing the new animal person of the week than a sanity-questioning spiral. Most often, I see the turtles passing by. Sometimes they’re goofing off or skateboarding. Other times, they’re chasing someone like right now. I can only assume the pig man is evil if he’s being chased by them. I know the turtles are good since I suspect they’re the “mysterious heroes” that saved New York from that-which-shall-not-be-named a few months back. I mean, who else could it be?

Even if they’re chasing a potential murderous lunatic, they seem like they’re having fun. They’re all smiling and laughing and whizzing around everywhere, just looking at them gives me an adrenaline rush.

I stared out the window longingly as they zipped by, disappearing into the night. Maybe the late night was getting to my brain, but things just felt worse than usual this time. I’ve been watching these four go by my window at least once a week for so long. They always look so fun to be around. Free-spirited and zany, the exact opposite of everyone in my life. Maybe I really am going insane but for once I just want to know them, to see them up close. And if I’m feeling particularly crazy, I might even say hello.

I found my body edging closer and closer out the window. The fire-escape does lead all the way down, and I’m only on the sixth floor anyway. It’s not exactly a fast distance to the ground but it wouldn’t be too bad if I run…

Before I knew it, I was already out dashing in their direction to catch up. I’ve only ever dreamed of having enough courage to actually attempt this. If my aunt finds out I snuck out my grave will be dug and that’s not an exaggeration.

Yet somehow, that didn’t stop me. My skin felt numb from the cold wind, my hair was going crazy behind me. I felt pain in my cheeks from how much I was smiling. I guess I am feeling particularly crazy tonight.

***

By the time I caught up with them, I was embarrassingly out of breath. They were now all ground level in an alleyway and I was hiding just around the corner, close enough to listen in. A little nervous if they can hear my hideous dying dog pants, not just because it would blow my cover but also for the sake of my prestige. They seem a little too distracted by the pig man to notice me, though.

“Alright, meathead! Give us the poison, or I’m gonna smash your head into the wall and keep smashing till I smash the wall down with my smashy little fists!”

Note to self: the red one likes smashing.

“Oh get stuffed you annoying little rats! Can’t a guy sabotage his rival chef’s excuse of a business in peace?”

“GASP! He’s defaming rats!”

They broke out into a fight over what looked to be a large bag of, assumedly, poison. The pig man’s tentacle arms were whipping all over the place, trying to land a blow on the turtles. Oh and apparently his arms can extend which I would find cool if it weren’t for how gross it looked. It’s all drippy and squishy-looking and weird, not a texture I’d want to be near.

I won’t lie, I was kind of distracted from the danger I put myself in since being this close allowed me to properly see the turtles fight. At first glance it looks like they’re flailing all over the place, but it’s actually in a more cohesive way. The blue turtle teleported around and sliced the tentacles attacking them, the red one went in for a punch with giant fists at any opening. Purple guy had glowing guns in his signature color all shooting at the same time and the orange turtle swung around hitting pig man with any object his fiery chains landed on. My god was I awestruck watching them all in action. I was so busy gawking I barely even registered the magic weapons.

One of the flame chains got a hold of his leg and sent the pig guy flying backwards, losing grip of his poison bag.

“Heads up!” The blue one yelled as the bag soared through the air. All the turtles attempted catching it while the pig man’s tentacle arm followed close behind the bag. It looked like it was about to be body horror Peppa Pig’s win.

So I stepped out and grabbed the bag before he could. All eyes now on me, I made a run for it in the other direction realizing how exposed I was. Behind me I could hear a confused “Who was that?” sounding like it was from the purple guy.

Yeah, sure, maybe this wasn’t the smartest move but if I’m getting myself involved I might as well be useful.

I’d break in and out of thought every time I crashed into a wall or slid on the ground. I was never exactly known for my clearly graceful nature. My body started aching. Still I kept running, only stopping to throw a rock or two at one of the stringy pink arms behind me. Seriously, why does that dude have to be so puke-worthy.

A silver blur sped right past my head. The glowing sword stopped in front of me and a familiar blue turtle appeared out of thin air.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

As much as I pride myself on reflexes, the initial shock didn’t wear off fast enough to prevent me from crashing into him and falling back on the ground. I barely had an impact on him, though, since he was still standing perfectly fine with a hand on his hip and the other gripping his weapon.

“Look pal, I have been heroing all week and as much as I love fighting villains and looking badass, I say we make this fast and you just tell me who sent you.”

“S-sent me?” It took me a while to catch on. Not my best day, I know.

“Oh, no no no! I'm not working for anyone! I was trying to help. See?”

I held out the bag towards him, hoping that would convince him I’m not a threat. To my surprise, instead of taking it, he squinted his eyes and me and crouched down to match my height.

“You know, you look kinda familiar. Have we met before?..”

I was too stunned to respond.

Back when I first saw the turtles, after seeing the human bull, I overheard them talking about him and wanting to find him. The blue one especially, he seemed extremely guilty about something. I figured I’d help but I wasn’t brave enough to just go up to them and tell them I saw the bull. I’m too shy to even approach regular humans, these were talking anthropomorphic turtles. So instead I threw a note down and it bounced off blue’s head. He looked at it, read it, then looked up at me. I poked my head out from behind the fire escape and gave an awkward wave, trying to let him know I was on their side. It worked since he directed his team towards where I wrote the bull man went.

I remember later that same night, he knocked on my window. I was a bit freaked out admittedly and hid away by instinct. I wasn’t exactly expecting to see them again.

“Oookay. Well.” I could tell he wasn’t sure how to deal with me. I was regretting hiding but my legs were frozen in place.

“I don’t know if you can hear me since the window’s closed but I wanted to say thanks for the note. We found our guy way faster than we would’ve if we kept having to use Raph’s ideas.” He let out a playful chuckle.

I felt my heart melt a little. I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t really that. I don’t usually hear things like that often.

“So yeah uh, if you can still hear me, thank you.”

My legs started working again as I heard him leap off to leave. I opened the window and rushed out to the fire escape. Luckily, he was on the ground not too far away from me. I called out to him.

“Salena!”

He turned around and saw me. “What?”

I beamed brighter and yelled again.

“My name is Salena!”

“Salena?” His voice brought me back to present day.

“You remember me?”

He let out a cheery laugh. “Of course I remember you! I told you, your note was the only reason we found Bullhop so fast that day.”

“But that was years ago.” I sighed in disbelief as he helped me to my feet.

“And? No face has ever escaped ol’ Neon Leon’s noggon!” He proudly pointed to his brain. I debated telling him the word was noggin.

We heard voices in the distance.

“PUNCHING LIKE A BOSS!!”

“I SWEAR ONE DAY I’LL TURN YOU ALL INTO STEW!”

“GUYS! He wants to turn me into stew!”

“Mikey, that’s not a good thing.”

“Says you! I’d make a delicious stew, thank you very much, Dee!”

“Welp, duty calls! Let’s get you to safety.” With that, he opened a blue portal and pulled me through it to a nearby rooftop. So his swords can teleport and open portals??

“You think you can keep this bag with you?”

I managed to nod.

He gave a smirk and stepped back through his portal to rejoin the battle.

“Leo! Where’s the bag?”

“And the person who stole the bag?” I could still hear red and purple speak.

“Relax, they’re a friend, they’re keeping the bag safe.”

“A new friend?! OMIGOSH!!” Orange seemed excited

The fight picked up fiercer than before. It was hard to keep up with the turtles and the chaos of their weapons. Orange flames, purple lasers, sheathing metal. The ground shook at every red flash. All the while, the air filled with lively laughter and jokes.

Pig man wasn’t going down easy, either. He pounded his giant spiky mallet, probably matching the force of red’s hits. I know they’re experienced fighters and all, but I felt a bit useless sitting around and doing nothing. I looked around for some way I could help.

Luckily, something caught my attention. On the left side of the roof, I could see a pile of bricks laying around. More than perfect for knocking out a mutant. Now the question is how to get them down.

I saw a flash of blue out the corner of my eye.

Bingo.

Screaming at the top of my lungs, hoping my voice wouldn’t be drowned out, I called out to him.

“Blue! Hey, blue up here!”

He followed my voice to where I was, looking a bit confused and worried I was giving myself away.

I pointed to the brick in my hand. “Make a portal on top of him!”

I saw his face light up as he understood my plan. “Great idea!”

As he dashed off, a blue portal opened near me. I rushed around the roof, grunting as I pushed the bricks in. Blue threw a sword in the air, appeared right above the pig, and opened the other side of the portal, letting all the bricks rain down on him. They all looked a bit surprised seeing around 8 or 10 bricks hit him on the head, blue included. Yeah, sure, maybe pushing all of them in was a bit overkill but seeing how crazy powerful this guy was, I didn’t want to risk it.

And boy, was he out cold. The four turtles made their way up the roof, I presume to get the bag of poison.

I glanced back down at the pig “So like…he’s not dead is he?”

“Meatsweats? Nah that guy’s handled way worse.” Blue said strangely casually. “Good thinking with the bricks, btdubs.”

I’d appreciate the compliment more but I was still struggling to figure out what could possibly be worse than bricks to the head.

“Yeah, thanks for your help back there with the poison, too.” red rubbed his neck and gave a sweet smile. For a big guy he seems awfully friend-shaped.

“I’m Raph. These are my brothers Leo, Mikey, and Donnie.” Leo struck a pose, Mikey waved like his life depended on it, and Donnie…well he was just on his phone with his shell turned towards me. It’s a cool shell, at least. I never noticed it wasn’t a real one before.

“I’m Salena. Nice to meet you all.”

People used to tell me I ask too many questions so I got into the habit of just keeping my tongue bit. But I would’ve exploded if I didn’t seize the moment today to find out what the hell was going on. I’m bad at social situations, anyway, might as well be on purpose.

“So if you don’t mind me asking…What are you? How do you exist? Where’d you get your weapons? Did you make your shell yourself? Who was that guy? Can I see what’s in this bag?”

“AHEM! I’m glad you asked!” Donnie turned his attention towards me, dramatically answering my questions. “We, weird human, are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (trademark). And yes, my battle shell is indeed Genius Built technology. Made this baby when I was twelve.”

“We’re mutant turtles!-”

“Literally just said that in the name Micheal”

“Still think Mad Dogz was better.”

“-And we were made in Draxum’s lab to take over the world back when he was going through his ‘bad boy’ phase but we ended up being heroes instead. Pretty cool right?”

“Hey, inquiry for you actually, why’d you help us anyway?”

I awkwardly answered Donnie, telling them about my luck of random mutants frequently passing by my window. Apparently some of them were Yōkai, Raph said there was a whole Hidden City of them and a doorway leading to it near where I lived. I was a little surprised at how happy they all looked listening to me talk. Usually I’d be told to shut up by now so this was a nice change of pace.

“What happened to your arm?” Leo pointed to the wound on my forearm.

“Oh. That explains why it felt so sore. I guess I scraped against a wall or something? It’s fine, though, I’ll patch it up when I get home.”

“No way. You helped us, we help you. Let the professional do his magic.”

Leo took out some supplies from his pouch. I sat on the edge and let him work on my arm while the rest - mostly Donnie - info dumped their stories to me. At first it was a way to distract me from the initial sting of my cuts being cleaned but it wasn’t long until they got carried away with their storytelling. They told me about their mutation at the lab, how they found out, their two dads and other human friends. The oozequitoes, as they called them, were what made them and all the other mutants. It’s crazy to think these guys were made as literal military weapons considering they’re now wacky vigilantes.

“Voilà! Look and be amazed!”

“Woah! You weren’t kidding when you said professional.” I admired Leo’s bandaging on my arm. It was clean and neat, tight enough to be secure but not turning my fingers blue or anything. Much better job than I would’ve done.

The full moon was beautiful tonight. Unfortunately, it reminded me where I should be at this time.

“Well, I’m really enjoying talking to guys but I should probably go home. I don’t even wanna know how late it is”

“What? But can’t you stay a little longer?” Mikey, who was practically vibrating this whole time, suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. He looked so dejected it made my heart hurt. Raph attempted to comfort him.

“They probably have school Mike. Maybe we can hang out another time, if you’re up for it?”

“REALLY- I mean, yes, yeah. That sounds lovely!” Stay civil, Salena.

“Hey before you go, you should really try one of these.” Leo opened the poison bag and took out a pizza puff? “They are absolutely delicious.”

Poison or not, pizza puff’s a pizza puff.

“NO!“ Unfortunately, Raph slapped the treat out of my hand before I could plop it in my mouth.

We bid our farewells and Mikey handed me a paper with their numbers on it paired with some cute doodles of them. After telling him where to go, Leo opened a portal to my room. I know you’re not supposed to tell strangers your address and it did feel a little weird but a portal was the fastest way home. No way I’m hoofing it this late in the night. I love New York but not that much.

Sitting on my bed now, I observed the blue turtle as he was getting ready to go back. The red stripes around his eyes made me realize he was a red-eared slider, I read about them back when I was six or seven I think.

“Hey Leo?”

“Yeah?”

I smiled. “It was nice running into you again.”

He gave his signature smirk “Funny how life works, ay?”

He waved and fell back into his portal. I closed my eyes for a bit, then grabbed my sketchbook.

Placing Mikey’s doodles on a blank page, I wrote down their respective eye colors.

Green, brown, yellow, blue.

Next Chapter | Salena Moni

[11-eyed-rook]

Project Gamma Sigma will be moving... again. A "small" announcement.

I know not that many people know of my project, Project Gamma Sigma, to begin with, but for those that do have some interest in it, it'll be moving from Blogspot/Blogger (whatever the damn thing is called). How soon, I'm not sure. Where? That's almost a secret for now. Shh.

To elaborate...

THE "WHERE DO WE BEGIN" OF IT ALL...

This project had originally started, technically, on Facebook as part of some short stories I'd write in the notes (a feature that doesn't even exist anymore). For a very short time, bits of Gamma Sigma existed on a separate Tumblr blog. That didn't seem to offer me enough flexibility with text formatting (which is an important aspect of how I write the story, due to how I can emphasize certain things, and it's just my style so shh), so I moved everything (pretty much re-making it entirely) on Blogger/Blogspot (I'll just call it Blogspot). So Gamma Sigma has had many locations, but none that are, at this particular moment, a proper "home".

THE "I THOUGHT IT'S GOOD ENOUGH" PART...

For a while, I'd believed Blogspot to be a decent-enough home for the project, and a few years had passed without much to worry about. Blogspot seemed easy enough to deal with, even with its flaws that I desperately tried to find workarounds for... whenever I could. And for a while, those workarounds sorta worked. I was even surprised that they worked for as long as they did, thinking about it now...

However...

OOPS! ALL BROKEN!

(AKA, THE BORING "I'M ANGRY" PART).

Yesterday, I found out that some of my modifications to the theme's code refused to function in any capacity (as in, the less-convenient default options force-replaced whatever was in the code previously, for what reason I don't know). Even the button that would allow me to undo any "recent changes" to the code, only showed the preview having the intended features, but the saved version wouldn't reflect any of the changes (I even checked on different browsers and that includes my phone's web browsers - the intended feature wasn't there, it just got disintegrated along with my patience for this shit).

At that point I'd come to a conclusion... I've had enough. I feel like I lack control over the very shell of what holds YEARS worth of my creative work, and I'm not putting up with it anymore. My project deserves a better home.

I'd already considered moving the project elsewhere, many times, but this brought my frustration to a boil. Numbered page navigation was no longer an option, as massively convenient as it had been during the time when it worked. Now it's just a "MORE POSTS" button. Click it, it takes you to the next page, at the top of the page, scroll down, click it, and the cycle repeats a few more times; if I find it frustrating, I can't imagine that many people would want to go looking for my oldest posts that way either (and the best part, obviously, is the part where Blogspot doesn't offer an option to change that in any way by default, which is why I had to modify the code itself to begin with; if I can't modify the code to my liking, why even give me the option to do so?!).

To make it even more annoying: The pre-existing "Archive" function barely helps the convenience of this, and, frankly, I'm tired of trying to negotiate my way around the lack of options for something like this.

A VAGABOND PROJECT; VISION, STRUGGLES, GOALS AND OTHER STUFF...

I know very little about building things right in the code (especially with very little or even nothing to start with), but if I can figure out the basics and make a skeleton of something work to my advantage, I'll make it work sooner than I'll realize. I've surprised myself in the past, and I'm sure I can create something that'll serve as a home to my project, permanently.

Moving Gamma Sigma would allow me to add features that, I'm sure, wouldn't work (or would quickly break) on Blogspot. One feature would allow me to make some of my entries more "immersive" - being able to play a specific audio track when opening specific entries, for example. Other things would, of course, include improved page navigation, secret pages, and potentially other fun little (maybe interactive) things, that would be relevant to the Gamma Sigma story in some way.

I know it sounds ambitious, especially for somebody who's never done something of this scope before, but I won't know if I don't try, and I'm passionate enough about my project to put in the effort to give it a home it'll thrive in.

A LITTLE OFF-TOPIC, BUT IT KIND OF HAS A REASON TO BE HERE...

On top of the frustrations regarding Blogger, I'd wanted to move away from using Google products/services/etc. for a while, and Blogspot, as it is, being owned by Google, would have to be one of the things I'd have to deal with at some point, inevitably. So that, too, helped me make my decision to move the project - the option to keep the project alive long-term.

I've also been planning to move away from using Google stuff in general, due to how unreliable their product lifespans can be... But that, alone, isn't my only goal; I don't exactly trust Google... And on that matter...

I plan on moving away from using Microsoft's products as well, and that eventually will include the operating system, Windows, itself. I've already been experimenting with using Linux, and the only reason I hadn't moved entirely, is because I still need to work out some issues regarding some windows-only programs and whether they'll work properly in Linux, through whatever means are available to me. If I can make them work, then it's bye-bye Microsoft.

I just value privacy and having a choice in how the system behaves. I value having control over what I do on my own computer. When using an OS is a matter of "letting 3rd parties have some of my personal data", on a PAID operating system no less, I'd think it's too fucking far.

But back to what's at hand...

CONCLUSION OR WHATEVER. OH YEAH ALSO A GAMMA SIGMA HIATUS, THAT TOO...

This was a long "announcement" (with some extra yelling), but I'll update it if something comes up (like, if I finish the migration process or if I decide on something else to add, Idk). I have no clue as to how long it'll take, but this basically forces me to put off posting any newer entries until further notice. Or unless I feel like it, I guess? Still, a hiatus is a hiatus, and I know it already took like a year for me to write the newest entry, but don't worry about that, shhHh,,,

OH AND ONE MORE THING...

It's possible I'll be changing the name of the project itself. As to what it'll be, I'm still not sure, but again, I'll make an update about it once I figure it out I guess.

Thanks for reading.

Sorry for stealing your time for this.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if Edward time travelled back to the beginning of PRM after he died?

Anon's referring to Painting Red Madonnas.

Anon, I give you a miraculous piece of advice, you can write the fic! I'm not going to write this one, but you can, and can detail out all of Edward's insane adventures as Peggy Sue: the time traveler here to save us all.

You have my blessing.

But I can answer your question in a shorter, tumblr post, format.

Edward Travels Back in Time

At first, he ponders whether he's in Heaven or Hell. He didn't think he had a soul, but he does appear to be somewhere...

On the one hand, he's back in one of Esme's houses surrounded by the family he never thought he'd see together again. Esme's there and happy, Carlisle's there and devoted to his wife, family, and Edward especially, they're a clear family unit doing what they always do.

This, after Volterra, is paradise to Edward.

On the other hand: he's still a vampire, everyone else is still a vampire, and that makes this more likely to be a sinister Hell.

After a few seconds of pondering, he decides this is indeed Hell, for he deserves it. He has recently done such awful, vile, things that he deserves the lowest pit of Hell. (And this time he really has done this, you kind of turned a baby, Edward, then set your cousins and mother up to be brutally murdered after you had just brutally murered Bella's father, not good form.)

Soon, this facade of normality will turn into some torture that Edward will not be able to endure. But Edward will edure, because he must, because he has done awful things and he failed and this is the price he pays.

HEAVEN, POUR JUDGEMENT UPON THIS SINNER!

(The family, naturally, is very concerned. Edward's always been a bit of weird lad, prone to melancholy, but this is beyond the pale even for him.

Carlisle and Esme, each individually, try to talk to him about this.

Of course, though, Edward doesn't think they're real and just figments of the Hell layer he's in, so he doesn't tell them what's actually up. This makes the torture that much more severe as he's watching himself grow distant from his family through no fault of anyone's no matter what he does!)

Then, Carlisle gets his phone call and comes to the family making the decision that he's headed to Volterra.

(Does Edward realize he's back in time now, you ask? No.)

Edward realizes that this is where Hell becomes truly hellish. He's about to watch the destruction of his family, the tainting and destruction of Bella Swan, all over again presumably with nothing Edward can do to stop it (as he tried everything already and failed).

Edward tries to convince Carlisle out of it, throwing out there that Marcus is an evil mastermind, but Carlisle doesn't seem to get it any more than he did in the real world.

(Carlisle, in fact, is surprised Edward knows which one Marcus is and is wondering if Edward got him confused with Aro or Caius. He also determines that, no matter what, his family, especially Edward, should not come with him.

Edward might say something... not so good.)

When Edward sees he fails he determines that he should go ahead of time, save Bella Swan himself before Marcus can even suspect him, and thus prevent Carlisle from going (can't pretend to be human if the human's not even in Volterra!)

Alice sees this and believes Edward's gone completely mad. What the actual fuck, Edward? She does see that he will be accepted into the castle though (Aro has no reason to deny him at this point or think Edward will be anything but Carlisle's lovely progeny who must be a credit to his name).

So, Edward arrives much earlier than expected (and earlier than Carlisle planned to leave either) and shows up on his own. Now, he knows that this Hellscape is set against him, and will do its best to thwart his every move, but he will persevere. HE WILL DEFY THE VERY HEAVENS!

Aro is stunned but initially delighted. Oh, Carlisle's progeny! What a wonderful surprise, Aro has so many questions. Because it's a bit rude, Aro does not actually reach out for Edward's hand (having the proof he needs in Edward's yellow eyes and Renata's right there anyway).

They get to Aro's study and... oh... oh no. The talk gets awkward.

See, Edward seems to be here to warn Aro away from Carlisle. Aro feels very flustered as he really hadn't intended this (though can't outright deny it) and hm, oh boy, Edward's a perceptive chap, isn't he?

AH HA HA HA HA HA!

Aro tells Edward that he's terribly sorry, but see, he really does need Carlisle's help. He knows that this may sound convoluted and ridiculous but--he really really needs that help. Badly.

Edward then suggests that it's not Carlisle's help Aro needs so badly. There are others he could ask.

Like who? Aro asks, knowing there's no one.

Edward, of course, knows that too and flounders. Then he stumbles on the Denali. He feels terrible throwing them under the bus, but Eleazar came and left once before and surely could leave again. Besides, he knows the Volturi better than anyone, he'd know to watch himself or at the very least turn Aro down.

Edward suggests Eleazar.

Aro dies inside.

He just dies.

"I can't ask Eleazar," Aro says, he just can't. Until this moment, he had no idea that Eleazar was on Carlisle's diet at all or in any way trying to blend in with the humans.

Which apparently means taking them as lovers.

Which is perhaps not as surprising as it should be.

Edward then tells Aro that foul play must be afoot if Aro won't accept Eleazar in Carlisle's place.

(Aro agrees, this looks very suspect, but Edward doesn't appear to know Eleazar that well. He can't realize what a terrible, awful, idea that would be on all levels.)

Aro desperately compromises: instead of Carlisle, it can be just Edward himself. Yes, Edward as Carlisle's beloved progeny should be a sane sort and NOT ELEAZAR? Right?! RIGHT?!

Edward is taken aback.

Very tricksy of Aro, keeping his enemies so very close. Edward's impressed by his guile.

Unfortunately for him, Edward is clever and can see right through him as well as read his every thought. Edward will be able to steal Bella right from under his nose.

Edward agrees.

He then asks where the girl is so they can get started.

Aro stares.

She's not here yet.

That was the entire point, right now she's in Florence, she doesn't start here for a few more weeks. This was just preparation.

Edward is stunned.

That... had never occurred to him.

Perhaps this is Heaven after all, because that makes this so much easier.

Edward fast talks his way out the door without touching Aro's hand, intent on making his way to Florence and tracking down Bella's sweet, ambrosia, scent.

Now, ordinarily, Bella would be quite doomed at this point. Fortunately for her though, Edward is a terrible tracker. Just dreadful. He makes it to Florence and can't find her. He can't even pick up her scent. He wanders the streets, trying to find someone who's seen her, but thanks to Bella being a hopeless introvert and shut-in, she's mostly drinking wine in her flat (Bella's really taking advantage of her study abroad, yo) and not out on the streets being seen by people.

When she does leave and go to the grocery store, she looks appropriately mousey enough that she's not too memorable.

Edward fails to find her.

And now he's running out of time.

He only has a few weeks before this program begins and surely, surely, Marcus will catch onto him before then!

Edward remembers that Bella's original art class, the one that was official, was in Volterra, a much smaller city. He just has to go back to Volterra, stake it out, and then lure her away from the city.

Edward stakes out the bus stop.

Unfortunately for Bella, staking out a bus stop is within Edward's capabilities, and she finds herself confronted by a mysterious man in a trench coat on her way to class.

Before she can get a word in, the man kidnaps her, moving so fast her eyes can't catch anything, and she likely passes out from lack of oxygen.

When she comes to, she's no longer in Italy at all, and the scenery is pointedly not Tuscan in nature.

Her kidnapper reveals himself in the sunlight and holy fuck, he sparkles.

He explains that she doesn't know him, but he is Edward Cullen, and he only has her best interests in heart. He abducted her for her safety so that she might be free from her awful fate. He then details all of Marcus' dark designs for her and how she and Edward may now have to be on the run for the rest of their lives.

Bella... did not see this coming.

She's also not sure she believes this about Marcus, but nefarious secret society of vampires, alright, she can buy that. Seems on point.

This Edward kid's a bit weird (read very prone to mood swings and eloquent ranting) but he does genuinely seem concerned for her well being and he's clearly whatever the hell Marcus even is.

She's willing to believe him.

(Also helping is that Edward is stupidly good looking.)

They go to hide out in a cave.

In the meantime, Marcus has begun to notice that something is wrong. He's pretty sure it's a weekday but Bella didn't come to class and she's not concussed right now. At first, he believes she may have concussed herself again or he simply forgot when she was supposed to be back (except she did come back in the middle there.) He goes back to the castle, where he tells Aro that Bella didn't show.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BELLA DIDN'T SHOW?!

Aro has the world's largest panic attack. OH DEAR GOD, THIS GIRL CANNOT DISAPPEAR! He regrets not putting Renata on her, especially as Demetri can't even find the girl, and goes out to search for her.

His reconnaissance quickly reveals that Bella did board the bus that morning and arrived at the station. The driver remembers seeing a cloaked figure at the stop, but didn't pay much mind as he drove away. Bella never made it into the city.

Her scent is at the bus stop along with... Edward Cullen's? That can't be right, can it?

Aro sets Demetri to find where Edward is and ponders this with Caius. Perhaps it's the Romanians somehow. Seems a bit too on top of things for those two, but if they realized somehow just how important Bella Swan is, how potentially powerful, then they could have kidnapped her to turn her themselves, use her against Volterra, and... try to frame Edward Cullen so that Aro's attention would be divided and he'd waste precious time hunting down Edward.

Caius points out this seems entirely too clever.

More likely: Carlisle's progeny fucking sucks and stole Bella away because he was giving the finger to Aro for banging his vampire dad.

Aro doesn't know what Caius is talking about!

(He does and it's the most embarrassing thing in his life.)

Well... unfortunately, that is... possible. Perhaps even plausible.

(At this point, they check in with Marcus who confirms that Edward loathes Aro entirely. Beyond all reason. Like the kind of man who just knows Aro fucked his vampire dad for twenty years then tried to entice him back to Volterra to do it again even when the guy is married.)

Unfortunately, if the Romanians have Bella, while she's more useful alive than dead they may be stupid enough to kill her. And they'll do it very very quickly given how delicious she is.

However, if Edward has her, then... she probably won't end up dead quickly because he's on Carlisle's diet. She'll probably just be dropped off somewhere where Aro presumably won't be able to find her/convince her to totally do this very legitimate summer school.

He decides to send a party to Vlad and Stefan first.

He goes in person as well, because his gift may very well be needed.

He goes and Vlad and Stefan are... the same as ever. They watch cable TV now. Touching their hands, Aro realizes they have not seen Bella Swan which means...

This is Edward shaming him for trying to be a home wrecker.

Shit.

This is very very embarrassing.

Well, guess it's time to find Edward.

In the meantime, Edward and Bella have been doing a lot of hanging out and Edward's... Bella's trying to decide if he's charming or fucking weird.

On the one hand, a very pretty boy is paying very close attention to her and apparently risking it all to save her life. She feels like the attractive heroine in a science fiction/fantasy novel.

On the other hand, he's very... uh.. baby faced. And seventeen. AND YOUNG, DID SHE MENTION HE'S YOUNG?! He also talks about smelling her. All the time. And how she smells particularly delicious to him, and it's pure torture (but don't worry, Bella, he can endure for he cares for her that much). He notes that Marcus, too, must have been driven mad by her scent but... Bella internally remarks to herself that Marcus never commented on how she smelled.

Ever.

She also wonders when they're not going to live in a cave.

What's the long-term plan here, Edward?

Edward's thinking on it.

There is no long term plan, Bella realizes.

Well, sometime during this, Edward drops that part of the Volturi scheme was to turn her into a vampire like Edward himself and Marcus. That... doesn't sound so bad. She may not be into the blood thing, but Edward seems to eat animal blood just fine. And if she's like him she won't weigh them down (and can maybe rescue Marcus).

Well, much like in canon, Edward flips shit. He goes on a terrifying rant of the horrors of being a vampire and how he's an apex predator she should cower in terror of and... 22-year-old Bella cowers in terror.

This guy is terrifying.

Bella decides she has to escape.

Except she realizes that he's stronger than her, faster than her, is utterly indestructible, can potentially track her scent, can read the minds of anyone who she comes into contact with.

Luckily, Bella's smarter than Edward.

She asks that she and Edward go into town, she needs some tampons, stat. Edward's very reluctant and offers to purchase them himself, but Bella claims to be very embarrassed (and Edward, being a 17-year-old boy, is also rather embarrassed himself despite his brave face. Like all cis teenage boys, he cowers in the face of the menstrual cycle).

They go to the store where Bella tells Edward she's going to take advantage of human indoor plumbing. As you can imagine, Bella sneaks out the window and books it to the first bus she sees. She doesn't care where it's going, she's on it.

We'll say this works out for Bella. She's on a bus to... somewhere. She's not sure where because they didn't announce it in English, and she has no idea what country she's in right now.

Edward, realizing he lost Bella, panics and assumes she's been taken back by the Volturi.

Around this time, Aro shows up and asks Edward "Alright, Edward, where's Bella Swan?" Edward loses his shit and thinks Aro is being coy, asking him that question.

Aro... had not expected this.

He'd expected, perhaps, some smug teenage rant about how he can't fuck Carlisle without precious Bella, can he?

This... is not that.

All the guard Aro brought with him: Demetri, Renata, and Jane, are staring. They're staring hard.

Aro decides to just take Edward's hand and "Oh dear lord, what the fuck?"

Aro gets to witness Midnight Sun as well as Painting Red Madonnas including Edward's immortal child, the murder of Charlie Swan, and his bizarre obsession with Bella Swan.

And now Aro has to kill him because this guy made an immortal child...

In another timeline...

But he totally would do it again.

And Aro will have to call Carlisle and say "But you see, in another timeline, he made an immortal child so he... had to die in this one. Sorry my dear friend."

Aro--decides he can't decide this right now. They rip Edward apart and store his head, temporarily, in a backpack and his limbs in other backpacks.

They will deal with Edward after--Aro consults with Caius and Marcus on how the law applies to time travelers.

And potentially after Aro finds the time travel vampire, that's a terrifying power.

As for where Bella is now...

No one has any idea.

Edward lost her in the bathroom, it appears she sanely ran away from him, and with her gift Demetri can't find her with his. They get to the point where she clearly got on a bus and have to guess based on the schedule where she went.

As you can imagine, hijinks of Bella lost in Europe, Edward's head in a backpack, Aro claiming to be doing a European backpacking trip with his college buddies "and by the way, have you seen our dear American friend Bella? She got lost", Carlisle in America learning that Edward is not, in fact, with the Denali and seems to have gone to Volterra to head off Carlisle AND MAY HAVE LEARNED THINGS CARLISLE NEVER TOLD HIM OH DEAR GOD (leaving Carlisle to sprint to Italy where he gets told Aro is currently out and is confronted by Marcus and Caius who confirm that Edward knows all about Carlisle sleeping with Aro and completely shamed Aro for it), and more ensue.

[kithtaehyung]

How did you get started with writing? I've always wanted to try but it's a bit intimidating. Do you have any advice for beginners?

Hi, love! Oh my gosh, I have been there. Frankly, it’s still intimidating😅 But! I’ll try my best to offer some advice that has worked for me💛

Note: if these don’t work for you, pls don’t stress🤍 As with any artistic medium, there’s no one-way ticket to success. Find your own style/what works for you, but use anything here as a guide/starting point.

1) The hardest part is starting. This is just a pretty general statement, but it’s true. You can think about writing all day, but in order to actually get into it, you gotta transfer those words and ideas from your brain onto paper—journals, Notes app on your phone, Google docs, anything. Once you start putting those ideas down, it gets easier and easier to keep going! My first story started as bullet points on my Notes app that I then transformed in Google Docs.

2) For now, don’t worry about making things perfect. Drafts are exactly that: drafts of works. Unedited, pure, raw forms of what you have in your head. So just write at your leisure and don’t stress about editing them until you’re close to posting. And even then: it’s okay if there are some errors! Fanfiction (if that’s what you’re wanting to write) is free so if you don’t care about your work being perfect, it doesn’t have to be!

3) Write because it’s fun / Write what makes you happy. The thing that kept me from writing the longest (after a years long hiatus) was the pressure of wondering if people would like what I wrote. Don’t be like me. Learn from me. If you just write what you want/what makes you happy first, I promise it releases so much pressure from your mental and allows you more creative space and freedom. And if you wanna write for fandoms, being yourself is even better. You will find similar creatives and foster your corner of the internet once you start getting your stuff out there in the world.

4) Read, read, read. I learned so much about writing from reading. Whether it’s poetry, fanfiction, fiction, or non-fiction, you’ll start to find styles that resonate with you and observe how people tinker with the language you want to write in!

5) Practice, practice, practice! One, this gets your juices flowing, and two, a whole story can sprout from a single sentence out of a writing exercise. Some things to look for here would be writing prompt lists (there’s a bunch if you search on tumblr/online!), random idea generators, or even writing challenges.

6) Not everything you write has to be posted / It’s okay to accept the fact that some ideas will just stay ideas. Once you start writing, I assure you that you will come up with ideas more than once per day (especially in the shower???) Write them down and follow the inspiration, of course, but don’t feel down if you lose spark for them down the road. I can tell you right now (because I recently checked) that I’ve posted 158,225 words, but have 261,880 words written in total with works still in progress/ideas that may never even make it out of draft format (and I’m a slow writer!!) It’s totally okay. You can always come back to them. And that brings me to my last piece of advice…

7) Write things down. Oh my gosh, I cannot stress this enough: if you have an idea, write it down!! A line of dialogue you wanna work around? Notate it. A whole scene or even a title? Please, put it down somewhere. Even if you have to write it on a napkin, do it and take the dang thing with you! Trust me, I tried the whole “I’ll remember it later” lie, and what happened? I regretted it because, of course, I did not remember it later lol. Better safe than sorry.

That’s what I have for you for now, but if any other writers out there wanna chime in, please do! Have fun starting your adventure and I’m always here to help if you need any other tidbits of advice💛 -Ryen

[scaramouche-bully]

Hello! I started a writing blog recently! Any tips on how to keep your blog organized? I also wanted some tips on writing smuts, especially content warning part!

Thank you very much!

- ☀️👑 anon

Hi ☀️👑,

Oh! That's so exciting to hear! If you wouldn't mind, I'd love to be mutuals with your blog ♥ I'm also new to writing smut (this is my first time haha) and I don't know enough about Tumblr but I hope this is helpful!

Keeping your blog organized

Pengu had a really good post about this. They covered almost everything that I can tell you here. The link is here: Blog Tips

Writing smut

This is all personal preference so take this with a grain of salt.

Don't be afraid to use explicit language however, there are words you really want to stay away from.

Please don't use any scientific terms if you can find a better word. For example, penis and vagina really kill the mood and that one word can take someone out of your fic.

Smut is just another form of writing or telling a story. You want to keep your reader immersed.

I've seen this before but putting author notes mid-way in a fic or putting too many emoticons isn't the best idea. Whatever you have to say, say it before the fic. This is just a personal preference but dialogue is important when it comes to pacing. There's nothing wrong with dirty talk or having your characters speak, but if your fic is 80% talking. Then you might as well just write phone sex or text threads.

Format

It's a good idea to establish your fic format. Pengu covered this in their blog tips but it gives your writing some structure. You don't need to make your fic super flashy. There's no need to bold and italic every single word. This is a personal pet peeve but when writers bold/capitalize character's names or sentences like:

Kaeya leaned over | DILUC look over | WHAT DO YOU WHAT?

It sounds like shouting and it's not for me.

Pacing

Don't be afraid to jump ahead but don't bounce everywhere. If you want to start your fic in the middle of fucking, go for it. But don't dedicate one sentence to foreplay and then immediately skip to cumming.

Spelling and grammar

I'm still learning English so I still struggle with this but a bad spelling mistake is death. This is why I'm so thankful for anons that point them out so I can quickly change them. If you can find a beta-reader and you're comfortable with that, go for it. But read over your work before posting.

Content warning

This is really important, especially for darker content. It's exactly what it means, what are the contents of your fic? You can think of content warnings as telling someone what your kinks are. You don't want to surprise them just to find out that kink triggers them.

I write my entire fic out, read it back, then create a list of what kinks I happened to include. If you have a touchy subject in your fic like non-con. Please tag it (#tw non con). Tumblr allows users to filter through tags so the things that make them uncomfortable don't appear. Don't censor the tag (# tw n*n c*n) because that defeats the purpose.

Above all

Understand that everyone has a different writing style. Smut is just writing at the end of the day. There is no shame in looking at other writers and seeing what they do as reference (as long as you aren't copying and pasting their exact words). The less you focus on comparing yourself and growing paranoid over your work, the more confidence that will translate into your writing. I have never written smut before until I made this blog but I have confidence that what I put out, people enjoy, and that helps a lot. I hope this was helpful to you and if you have any other questions, please feel free to ask! I can't wait to see your writing ♥

- 🐑

[aomineavenue]

Hi there. How is everyonnnnne doing. Wow, I haven't been here in awhile. I don't know if this post is going to be a long one or not since I'm writing this as I go, I apologize if I repeat stuff along the way.

Anyway, I want to apologize for my disappearance. It hasn't been a good time for me lately. One of the main reasons that I've strayed from tumblr was because of silly petty drama that keeps being mentioned over and over and over so many fucking times despite it being OVER. I don't have to mention what it is, if you know about it then well yknow about it that's all I'll be saying. What I will say about it is that it's pretty mentally fucking exhausting having to deal with every other month. I just couldn't understand the need to purposely bring it up every now and then as if it's still relevant despite myself being M.I.A (lol funny that's my name ok lol moving on)

Despite it being months since then, it's still being brought up so immaturely. I don't understand the difficulty of just shutting up and moving past it. Like, move on? No one literally cares? No one is talking about it anymore so what is the point?

It was mentally exhausting having to deal with, especially with useless anons (lol i have the ip address btw lol) sending crap about it so childishly.

Along the way, I drifted my focus to my real life. Focusing on my career and work has been draining me, so I didn't even have the time to deal with it.

You guys know me, if you're a mutual that's still around or a follower who has been with me since I started this account, I rarely respond to anonymous harrassment because there was no point of giving them any attention that they were seeking or letting others stick their noses into other people's business. I was made out to be spreading lies and hate, when I did nothing of the sort. I was barely around. I only even really talk to a handful of people because my life didn't revolve around tumblr/fandom whatever you want to call it.

Piece of advice? You don't want people sticking their noses into your business or bothering you? Then don't pay them any attention and broadcasting every single fucking thing just to point fingers like a child crying for attention afterwards.

Don't get me wrong, guys. I'm not quitting. I've just been away due to my mental health and two other reasons.

One, my phone has given up on me. So creating SMAUs has been impossible for the time being.

Two, my laptop has given up on me as well and I can't use company property for my personal business. So writing and editing has also been impossible.

I do not want to abandon my stories because it hurts to think so since I've plotted everything out already (thank fuck for google docs) So I'm just letting you guys know where I'm at right now. It's been a struggle but I'm slowly getting back on my feet.

I'd like to thank the few people who continue to give me love and support despite me not being able to contact anyone first anymore. Just having them reach out gives me warmth so I appreciate you guys.

Annnnnd, just a little something for you guys to know. My SMAUs, if I'm able to, I was thinking of converting the rest of the chapters into written format instead but I don't know if you guys would be interested that way.

If you read through this, kisses and let me know if I should. Sending all my love. Since it's still the pandemic, please do everything you can to stay positive because negativity is a total bitch.

To my main loves, I miss you all so much. I haven't been in contact lately and I apologize. I hope you're all doing okay. @keijikunn @hidden-otaku-stuff @kaitycole @shoyomeow @newfriendjen @crescentsteel @teyvatstories @velvetfireworks @toorusushijima @lettrespromises

I'll be seeing you guys again, real soon but goodbye for now. Xx

[miyaniacs]

Distance

a/n: hey there, felt like writing a lil angst again, it’s not too bad though :) again, tell me if you want a second part and if you want to get tagged (comment or sent an ask) ALSO not  Tumblr deleting my post right after posting so here you go again.

masterlist

characters: Oikawa Tooru x fem!reader  (but I try to keep it as gn as possible and avoid using female pronouns/ characteristics)

format: angst oneshot

warnings: angst, mentions of cheating

It’s so hard to look at your phone right now.

On screen you see the beautiful face of your boyfriend. His soft brown hair into his face, his eyes are closed, his mouth slightly open. He is shirtless and thanks to the light of his own phone you can make out parts of his toned arms.

But why is it hard to look at such a beautiful few?

Well, the fact that he lives across the world.

You just woke up and he just fall asleep.

Your fingers ghost over your screen, over the picture of his soft skin. How badly you wish to be with him right now, to be in his arms, to caress his cheek, to play with his hair, to feel his lips on yours again.

You mumble a soft “I love you.”, and end the call.

You missed him so badly, your heat arches every time you see him on your screen.

Forcing yourself out of the bed, you get dressed, putting on the beautiful necklace Oikawa gifted you on your first year anniversary and put your hair in a bun. Putting your laptop and Keyes you leave your home, heading to a small cafe, in hopes to finally start your essay.

Three pages later, someone sits down in front of you.

Looking up, you see Luca  one of your classmates.

“Hey Y/N.“  He smiles brightly and places a new cup of coffee next to you laptop, “For you, I thought you need it.“ He smiles even more now. With a smile you thank him and take a sip of the coffee.

“Did you already finished the essay?“ You ask with a sigh looking at your document.

“Finished it last night.“ He laughs and adds: “Do you need some help?“ Thankfully you accept his offer.

A few coffees later, you finally click “Sent“ on your email browser and close the laptop.

“Thank you so much!“ You look up at him, your head resting on your closed laptop.

You never really looked at him. His skin is tanned, dark brown hair, which he is right now pushing backwards. His eyes are a beautiful golden color, dark long lashes, making them even more prominent. From the perspective you got, you can clearly see the muscles flex under his shirt, as he pushes his hair back, his prominent jawline perfectly displayed as he slightly tilts his head to the side. His full lips turn into a smile as he waves his hand in front of your face.

“Hey? Y/n? I was asking something.“ He laughs and you snap out of your thoughts. “Sorry..“ You mumble embarrassed.

“It’s fine, I was just asking if you want to grab something for dinner?“ He repeats and lightly scratches his neck.

“Yes sure!“ You smile and start packing your stuff. On your way out, your phone vibrates.

Looking at it, you smile seeing it was a video call from your boyfriend. Quick you throw your back over your shoulder and tell Luca that you have to get this call real quick.

“Hey sleeping beautyyy.“ You tease as soon as you see Oikawas face.

“Hey, I need to keep up with your beauty.“ He winks and you blush. Luca walking next to you chuckles. “Oh, are you busy love?“ Oikawa asks.

“No, I just finished my essay thanks to Luca, and we’re about to get something to eat now.“ You smile and move your phone, so Oikawa was able to see the male, walking next to you. Frowning his brows, he looks at the phone. “Ahhh, I’m glad you finally finished it.“ He forces a smile, “Love, I’m sorry but I have to hang up now, practice starts earlier today.“ He lies and after saying your goodbyes he immediately puts the phone away.

He really doesn’t want to be jealous, he knew he can trust you, but seeing some random guy, doing what he is supposed to do? Helping you with your essays, taking you out to dinner … he’s supposed to be that person. Opening the calendar app, he checks his schedule.

“Perfect“ he  mumbles and opens google.

4 weeks later

The past weeks, yours and Oikawas Video chats got shorter and shorter, sometimes you even declined his call. You felt bad for it yes, but it was finals week and you spent all nighters all the time, together with Luca. The two of you got along really well and started spending more and more time together, growing pretty close.

He was always nice and helpful, not even complaining when you fell asleep on him while studying.

Today was the day of your last test, putting on one of the random hoodies, laying in your room, you hurry to your University, trying to call Oikawa, hoping to get some encouraging words from him, yet he didn’t pick up. “He probably is already asleep.“ You think and continue walking.

Still sad form not hearing your boyfriends voice that morning, you see Luca standing at the entrance of the University.

“Hey -  wait Y/n? What’s wrong? You just have to pass this test, we don’t get any grades, don’t ne too nervous.“ He says trying to cheer you up.

“No… I’m not nervous, I’m just sad, my boyfriend didn’t pick up today.“ You sigh. Putting an arm around your shoulders, he responds: “Well, it’s his loss, not seeing your beautiful face before he sleeps.“  It was normal for him to say things like that. He knew you had a boyfriend and you just assumed, he’s just naturally flirty, just like you and well… Oikawa.

“I just try calling him later that day..“ You sigh and together you two enter your classroom, ready to end this hell of a week.

A few hours later

“FREEDOM!“ You laugh at Luca, while you two walk down the hallways of your University.

“Ayyy, there’s your beautiful smile again.“ He teases and pokes your nose. „I just miss him, that’s all.“ You sigh. Luca remains silent and continues walking. Just as you two walk out of the building, Luca a few steps ahead, he stops  and spins around, standing right in front of you, grabbing your hands. You look up into his golden eyes, which seem to be glowing in the sunlight, but it wasn’t only the sunlight, there was a certain passion lighting them up.

“Luca? What are you doing?“ You ask confused.

“Y/n… I’m so sick to always see you sad. Shouldn’t he make more time for you? And pick up your calls? And come to visit you? Y/n… be honest with yourself, you aren’t made for a long distance relationship. You need physical contact, you need someone to hold you, to make you feel save, to make you feel wanted.“ He says and looks directly into your eyes.

You being to shiver under is gaze and feel tears well up.

Was it because what he said directly hit that weal point of yours? Triggering all the emotions you tried to ignore? Or was it the stress from the past weeks? It doesn’t matter now, you have to admit that he was right. The past months you always put on a mask. A mask to cover up the sadness that started spreading in your soul.

You loved Oikawa to death, yet there was this small dark part inside of your head asking if all of this was worth it. Was it worth staying up all those nights, just to talk to him and then fall asleep in class during the day? Sure he always said that you shouldn’t neglect your education for him, but you had to. You had to hear his voice, to see his face, to hear him say that he loves you. Especially when all you see over social media, was girls, even models, hitting on him, telling he’s their crush in interviews, seeing all those ships with him and certain models. Well especially one certain model. She was on the cover of the magazine of some famous brand and yes you stopped shopping there because you couldn’t see her face anymore. You knew you can trust him. It was him, bringing up this topic, telling you about his fears that at one point all those lies on the internet would get into your head. You promised it wouldn’t, yet here you are. In all honesty, you just needed to feel his touch again. It was easier to shut off those thoughts when they were occupied by his soft fingers caressing you. Deep down you knew Luca was right, you knew that this long distance relationship was fucking up your metal state, but it’s only until you finished University, you planned to move to Argentina so you’d be together again, or well he comes back to Japan.

Even from across the world, he was so loving and sweet. Waking up to a good morning text or his video call was a given at this point. Receiving random presents from him that suddenly appeared in your mail, receiving a bouquet of flowers, whenever he felt that you needed something to cheer you up. Sending you hand written love letters, that always made you tear up and which you kept in a box under your bed. He really did everything he could, being a perfect boyfriend. Your perfect boyfriend.

“Y/n… you can’t lie to me, I saw how you craved my touch.“ He underlines his words by softly running his fingers over your cheek, cupping your face, moving his tumb up and down, wiping away the small tears running down your face.

You feel exposed. You did enjoy the physical affection he gave you. His arm around you, leaning into his strong broad chest, having his fingers comb through your hair, his hugs, falling asleep and waking up in his arms… you really craved that. But you never craved that from him, you always wished it was Tooru, or did you?

You aren’t sure anymore. A few days ago, you had a dream, you were on a date with your boyfriend, Oikawa, but then he shifted into Luca and you can still feel your heart getting warmer when it shifted to him.

“Y/n… let me hep you erase the pain…“ he whispers and moves closer and closer to you until his lips touch yours.

It was a strange feeling.

His lips are smooth and soft, moving perfectly against yours.

He is gentle and careful, yet you can feel all the passion, he’s holding back at the moment, just waiting for you to fully accept the kiss.

The dark sadness inside of you begs to kiss back, to feel loved again, to feel wanted and desired.

But then there’s this sting inside your hear.

And the more seconds pass, the worse it gets.

This is wrong, you don’t want this.

You don’t want him.

You push Luca way and open your eyes.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a male with soft brown hair, walking away from the University.  

“Luca stop! You know that I love Oikawa! Stop taking advantage of me being vulnerable, I thought we’re friends…“ you scream whisper, tears full of ager and regret run down your cheeks now.

“But does he still love you?“ He asks smugly.

Looking at him, you you shake your head, why should he say that, there is no way Tooru would not love you anymore.

Puffing up your chest, you push him away again and start walking back home.

That night you tried calling Oikawa again, but he didn’t pick up.

Neither did he answer to any of your messages.

He still loves you.

He does.

Right?

tags: @writingfreakk​​ @volley-simp​​ ( I know you like him too soooo enjoy the tag lol) @saucysamu​​  @shoyosun​​ ( just because you knew of me writing this lol) @kenmasgameboy​​ ( so you can read some soft angst while being sober lol)

[nigenaide]

So @ao3commentoftheday has recently starting doing a thing called Ask A Tag Wrangler, which I'd recommend checking out if you're interested in knowing more about how tagging or tag wrangling works on AO3!

However. I am also a tag wrangler. And the thing about tag wranglers is we actually disagree with each other pretty regularly. So this post about Tumblr-style tagging on AO3 has some great information, but there are several parts I disagree with.

(General disclaimer that I am speaking only for myself, not for AO3 or for tag wranglers as a whole. I'm sure someone else will disagree with me too :P)

Specifically, I really want to pull out this brief aside from the post and underline it a few times and draw rainbows on it:

Of course, if you don't care if your works are filterable, then carry right on, you poetic and noble land-mermaids.

The main thing to note about chatty Tumblr-style tags on AO3 is that they often don't play nice with the filtering system. As Pepper says, they frequently contain multiple concepts or aren't clear exactly what they're referring to, which can make it difficult for wranglers to attach them to existing canonical tags. So if your goal is for your tags to be easily attached to canonicals so people can use them in the filters, then yes, chatty tags are often not good for that.

On the other hand? There's no reason your tags have to be filterable. It is completely fine to post a fanfic with tags that are useless for filtering. Wranglers get sad about it because we enjoy attaching tags to each other, but the tags are for fanfic readers and writers, not to make wranglers happy! So you should tag in whatever way is comfortable and fun for you.

It's important to remember that people use AO3 in different ways. Not everyone cares if other people can find their fic -- maybe they just want to post it so they have a nicely-formatted backup copy in case their computer dies. Maybe they just want to show their fic to their friends on Discord, and they like how AO3 looks better than Google Docs. Maybe they prefer a different fanfic site, but that one doesn't allow smut, so they post the smut sections on AO3 and link to them from the other site. Maybe they actually would like people to find their fic, but "proper" tagging stresses them out, so they only tag for fandom/character/relationship and then just babble in the additional tags. All of these are perfectly valid uses of the site!

Also, plenty of people browsing fic don't even use the fandom-specific canonicals like "Gay Ron Weasley" to find what they want. I don't, myself -- I usually just go to the fandom or relationship tag I want and look through everything manually. So for me, the way your tags read on your fic is actually more important than how filterable they are. Fics that have neat filterable canonical tags are nice because they're easy to skim over to see what the fic is about, but chatty tags can provide the same information while also giving me more of a peek into the author's head. I've absolutely clicked on fics just because the tags were funny.

So, with all of that in mind, some specific things with Pepper's post that I disagree with:

Chatty tags don't necessarily bother readers; plenty of readers enjoy them, in the same way people enjoy reading Tumblr tags. I think what bothers people is more often the number of tags, not how they're formatted. I'd much rather see 10 chatty tags than 50 canonical ones, honestly. Lots of tags take up a lot of space on the screen (especially if I'm on my phone) and are harder to skim.

I strongly disagree with the idea that wranglers don't enjoy wrangling chatty tags. They're usually the most entertaining to read through, first of all, and a lot of us enjoy sharing the funny or weird tags with each other when we come across them. They're also usually pretty easy to wrangle because they tend to have multiple concepts that can't be attached to anything. So it's easy to go through a bunch of them quickly while listening to music or watching videos, which can be a relaxing way to spend an hour or two. Personally I enjoy wrangling them, certainly a lot more than other kinds of tags.

Your tags don't need to be filterable or informative. It is perfectly valid to use AO3 tags as a "whisperspace" a la Tumblr if you'd prefer. So if you want to write tags about what song inspired you while you were writing, or how you were bit by a plot bunny at 3am and had to write the whole fic immediately, go for it. Maybe some people would prefer to put that kind of the thing in the author's notes, but you don't have to. Go wild.

Honestly? As a wrangler, my advice to AO3 users is that you shouldn't worry about what wranglers find annoying to deal with :P Plenty of tags can be annoying to deal with on our end, just because of how the wrangling system is set up or because we like dealing with certain kinds of tags more than others. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with someone using those tags. The whole point of the tag wrangling system is that users can tag however they want, and wranglers will deal with it. It's what we signed up for!

What you should worry about is what you're trying to accomplish with your tags. If you ask wranglers for advice, we tend to focus on how to make your tags easily filterable within the technical constraints of the tagging system, because we know a lot about that. And if that's what you want, Pepper's post has some great advice! (And if you want more advice of that sort, you should go over there and ask questions!) But a lot of posts with wrangler advice act like your ultimate goal should be to make your tags nice and filterable, and that doesn’t have to be true. If that stresses you out or goes against your tag aesthetic or just isn't helpful for you, you don’t have to do it. You also don't need to treat every tag the same way -- you can have some that are useful for filtering and some that are just babbling. Or you can have tags that look like babbling but are actually useful for filtering, like Pepper's "Harry Potter remains a total disaster" example.

BASICALLY what I'm saying is: There is a reason AO3 is set up so you can write whatever you want in the tag fields, instead of just picking options from a list. It's because we want you to write whatever you want. So please don't stress out too much about tagging things Properly™ or making things difficult for tag wranglers.

[streamacademe]

Bonus post: Thesis writing.

This post will be a combination of tips and tricks I have received from numerous sources, with the majority coming from Shinton Consulting and STREAM IDC staff. 

The big T

If you’re anything like me, just the word ‘thesis’ can instill a sense of dread in me. However, the best way to deal with a phobia is to face it head on, so let’s do just that, both in a literal and metaphorical sense. 

What a thesis is and what to expect...

Writing a thesis could take anywhere between four weeks to a whole year, and sometimes even longer! The worst thing you can do is compare your progress to that of others; setting a benchmark is one thing, but beating yourself into a panicked pulp because you haven’t written as many chapters as a fellow PhD/EngD won’t do you any good. The best thing you can do is have regular discussions with your supervisors on how long your thesis will take and plan accordingly. 🕖

Your thesis has to be fit for purpose (that is to pass), which means that it has to:

Satisfy the expectations of your institution and industry sponsor (if applicable).

How did you solve the problem that was proposed to you?

Contain material which presents a unified body of work that could reasonably be achieved on the basis of three years’ postgraduate study and research.

Show you have done the work and impress your examiners.

Allow your examiners to confirm that the thesis is an original work, which makes a significant contribution to the field, including material worthy of publication.

Research your examiners and quote them where possible, especially if they’re relevant to your field.

Show adequate knowledge of the field of study and relevant literature. 

Make sure you read all of the key papers in your field. 

What were the gaps in knowledge?

The ‘references’ section is very important as this sets the scene and examiners will read this. BUT, don’t have too many references. 

Demonstrate critical judgement with regard to both the candidate’s work and that of other scholars in the same general field.

Compare approaches and conclusions of others.

Note potential conflicts of interest.

Why did you use this method/approach?

Is your interpretation the only possible explanation?

Be presented in a clear, consistent, concise, and accessible format. 

Make your examiners lives easier. 

Make your viva as pleasant as can be!

Basically, you need to know why your project was important, be able to explain the key work that has already been done in the area and how it relates to your research aim. You should then be able to explain what you have done during your research and how this contributes to your field. 

Note: Keep checking university regulations! Each university should have their own code of practice for supervisors and research students, which will look something like this. 

Picture: A short summary of the above. Source: Tumblr.

Planning and writing

I’m not going to lie to you, it is not going to be easy. I have only just embarked on the journey myself and am already overwhelmed. However, with the right preparation, coping mechanisms in place, and a tremendous amount of self-discipline, we will get through. ☕

Getting started

You need to practice writing. That’s as simple as advice gets. 

You need to practice reading other PhD/EngD theses, mainly to understand what to expect, and to experience what being the audience for a thesis is like. 

Create a thesis plan... 

To start the mammoth task that is thesis writing, it needs to be fully understood and broken down into manageable chunks.

Make a plan (perhaps based on the table of contents of another thesis) of all the sections and chapters in the thesis.

Then break these into sections and keep breaking it down until you are almost at the paragraph level.

Now you can start writing!

Where to start the actual writing?

Start with the most comfortable chapter, such as a previously published paper, a set of results that are straightforward and can be easily explained, methodology/methods, etc. 

Create a storyboard for your thesis and write as if you are telling that story.

If you’re not sure what comes next, refer to previous theses and back to your plan and storyboard. 

Be ready to amend the plan for future chapters as each is completed and you become more aware of what the thesis must contain.

Remember: THINKING IS HARD, WRITING IS EASIER. 💭

Organisation

Develop and maintain a logical filing system.

Improve your back up technique; if it’s not saved in 3+ locations, it is not safely backed up.

Back up every day.

Never overwrite previous documents, just make many versions. It’s not worth the risk of losing a valuable piece of work from a copy and paste error.

Copy any key parts from your lab/note/field books as these can get lost/damaged.

Keep a file/folder of thoughts, references, etc. that you are not including in your thesis; these may be useful to refer back to for ideas and information.

Effective writing

Establish a routine, don’t be distracted, take breaks.

Set clear and realistic goals for each week/day. 

A GANTT chart is very good for this; use it to keep on track and measure progress.

You just gotta start. The hardest part is the beginning.

Don’t stall on details, walk away for a short break to clear your mind.

Get formatting correct from the start (check your code of practice/regulations).

Be consistent with references.

Seek help from the experts - supervisors, postdocs, online sources/training programmes etc.

Create SMART objectives for your writing process:

Specific - e.g. “I will complete chapter 3/collate all diagrams” rather than “I will make good progress”.

Measurable - e.g. “I will write 4 pages today” not “I will try to write as much as I can”.

Achievable - e.g. “I will complete the first draft for my supervisor” not “I will get it perfect before he/she sees it”.

Realistic - e.g. “I will complete the introduction today” not “I will complete a chapter a week”.

Time - it can be useful to set yourself deadlines e.g. tell your supervisor you will hand in a draft on a certain day - that way you are sure to have it done.

Finally, find a balance between being tough with yourself whilst protecting your well-being the best you can. I wrote a post a little while ago that covers managing your mental health during a PhD. Read it here. 

GIF: Anna Kendrick dishing out some top advice. Source: Tumblr.

A few more tips

Supervisor management

Establish what you want to cover in each meeting.

Keep a record of the outcomes and actions from those meetings.

Make your supervisors lives easy; they’re very busy humans.

They are unlikely to judge work unless it is presented completely (i.e. fully written with tables, figures, etc.).

Give them a neat, complete version of a chapter at a time (proof-read thoroughly and spell-checked).

It is in your supervisors interest for you to complete in good time; they are experts and will offer a lot of support.

To summarise, a good thesis:

Has an appreciation of what came before.

Focuses on the interesting and important.

Is well reasoned.

Will change the way people think.

Will teach your supervisors something. 

Has publishable results.

Is logical in presentation, analysis, and arguments.

Is well illustrated with tables, figures, graphs, summary flow charts etc.

It is worth spending a lot of time on these. 

Is written without grammatical and spelling errors.

Has an appreciation of what comes next.

I hope that the above was helpful! There are many resources out there, so get exploring if you need more advice!

I’ll soon be writing a post on how to survive your viva! So, watch this space. ✨

Photo: Make this your phone/desktop/laptop/everything background when you’re writing, I know I will! Source: Tumblr.

[thisonesatellite]

if you live by the word, you die by the pen -- CH10

SUMMARY:  It’s just another day with bad coffee, the day that Sheriff Swan enters Detective Jones’ precinct.

The fact that his life is about to come apart at the seams is purely incidental.

With apologies to Dashiell Hammett and James Ellroy, i’m playing in their sandbox and i’m taking the bucket and the shovel.  You guys can keep the rake.

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|CH1| CH2 | CH3 | CH4 | CH5 | CH6 | CH7 | CH8 | CH9 |

AO3 (if you want decent formatting, because tumblr does not).

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A/N:  So.  Here it is.  The calm before the storm.  And a little bit of mystery (yeah, well, you knew that), and a dash of humor, and possibly a smidgen of you know what.

But - i feel i must tell you, my dears -- what comes after this is everything else.  And since this story is so complex, the plot boa constrictors have me in a stranglehold by now, i will have to write the entire kit and kaboodle before i post again.  Like, all of it.  

So this is me, once again begging for your patience, because this might kill me, but if it doesn’t, it’ll still take a while to do.  The good news is that once i do get it written, the last chapters will come at a pretty fast clip.

Thanks to my Mythical Beauties @katie-dub​, @ohmightydevviepuu​, and most especially, always and forever, @profdanglaisstuff​ who encourage my lunacy and enable the eff out of me and keep me sane.  i love you guys so much.  💕💕💕

@jennjenn615​ & @kmomof4​ - this chapter will not torture you (for a change) 😆.  The same cannot be said for what’s about to come down the pipeline.  

Thanks as ever to @captainsjedi​ for the lovely art.

And to all of you who are still reading this, patient as you are, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.  You are wonderful and i love you A LOT.  💕💕💕

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If you want on or off the tag list, let me know!  (And seriously - if it’s ‘off’ - please don’t worry.  Absolutely no hard feelings.)

@mariakov81​ @stahlop​ @thejollyroger-writer​ @snowbellewells​ @captainsjedi​ @toomanyfandomstochoosefrom​ @xarandomdreamx​ @tiganasummertree​ @mayquita​ @ohmightydevviepuu​ @sals86​ @karenfrommisthaven​ @kmomof4​ @kday426​ @superchocovian​ @jennjenn615​  @facesiousbutton82​ @suwya​ @spartanguard​ @capnjay21​ @shardminds​ @carpedzem​ @girl-in-a-tiny-box​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @lfh1226-linda​ @artistic-writer​ @teamhook​ @katie-dub​  @shireness-says​ @qualitycoffeethings​ @cluttermind​  @fragilebeautifulchaos​ @optomisticgirl​  @klynn-stormz​ @winterbaby89​ @ethereal-madnesss​ @scientificapricot​​ @fragilebeautifulchaos​​

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CHAPTER 10

  “Is Elsa coming?”

  August and Victor are both looking at Killian as he puts away his phone and nods.  

“She’ll be here in the morning.”

“What time is it now?”  Emma asks, and Victor says, “T minus 29 hours until it’s my turn.  Give or take.”

  The sentence lands like a lead balloon and the entire room falls silent.

  Until August says, “That’s not funny, Doc.”  Then he looks up at Emma and adds, “It’s a little past 8 PM.”

8 PM , Emma thinks.  Just 12 hours ago we were making our way down a hillside towards a corpse and our doom and we had no idea.

  “I say we adjourn,” Victor says.  “We’re all hungry and tired and we’re not going to get anything else done tonight.”

There’s a chorus of protest and he holds up his hand.  

“I’m a doctor ,” he says.  “Do you really want me to go into a lengthy explanation of brain chemistry versus sleep deprivation, or will you just fucking believe me and do what your doctor ordered? ”

August’s eyes get very soft as he gently punches Victor’s shoulder and says, “Now that was funny, Doc.”

And then he takes Victor by the hand and pulls him from the station almost at a run.

Emma looks at Killian and smiles, because it’s comforting how some things never change, and oh, the look he gives her in return.

It makes David blush.  Across the room.

“I bet they can find a much better use for their time.”  Mary Margaret rolls her eyes and grins.  “And I agree with the doctor.  I think we all could do with a break.”  

David feels another atomic blush start to creep up his neck.  This whole freshly-cooked lobster impression his skin insists on doing he could truly live without.  Especially since Mary Margaret is looking straight at him now, eyebrows raised in silent question.

From out of the corner of his eye David can see Emma and Killian very much not looking at them, and then he hears Emma’s voice, as she says, “Take me home?”

Killian quietly replies, “Of course, love.” and Emma does not flinch at the last word.

Instead she beams at Killian.  Her whole face lights up.  Happy.

Killian smiles back, and even David can see how much the man has changed in just these few days.  He is no longer the husk he first encountered at the diner; empty, weary, sardonic, and incredibly hungover.  The man slouched at the counter that morning could not have smiled like that.

  Emma nods at David and checks her watch.  

“Let’s meet back here at 9 tomorrow morning,” she says, and then gives him a wicked grin.  “If you two want to join us for breakfast, we’ll be at the diner around 8.  But we understand if you can’t make it.”

And with that parting shot they leave, while Mary Margaret bursts out laughing and David’s face once again attempts to emulate the sun.

He tries to take a deep breath and say something coherent, anything at all, really, while Mary Margaret’s chuckle fades and she once again looks at him, eyebrows raised in amusement.

He can’t think of anything.

Nothing a thing.

  And then she sighs.  Shakes her head.  Takes one step forward and then another, until they’re almost touching, and then she smiles an absolutely brilliant smile.

“So, David Nolan,” she says.  Still smiling that thousand-watt smile.  The kind that could light up an entire village.  “Are you going to make me wait the whole night, or are you finally going to kiss me?”

And David decides that words are maybe not what this situation needs at all.

Action is.

He can do action.

Outside, in front of the station, Killian and Emma hear Mary Margaret’s happy squeal being cut off midway through and Killian quirks his left eyebrow suggestively.

Emma laughs out loud.  Oh, that man can definitely get serious mileage out of a good innuendo.  But he is not the only one.

“ Finally ,” she says.  “Wasn’t that a long time coming.”

“It was.”  Killian takes a step forward and puts his arms around her, wraps himself around her, tightly, and it feels ridiculously right .  His lips brush hers gently.   “So was this.”  And then he kisses her.

Thoroughly.

  When they pull apart she’s lightheaded and cannot wipe the stupid grin from her face.  Not that she wants to.  He leans his forehead against hers, their noses touching, his lips ghosting across her cheek, and it takes her forever to get her bearings.  When they finally start walking, he keeps his arm around her waist, her body pulled tightly into his side, and it’s so easy, the way their strides match and their rhythm syncs up, the way he keeps nuzzling her neck and smiling.  He’s happy.  She can tell he’s happy.

Hell, people in Canada can probably tell he’s happy.

It makes her feel light and buoyant and hopeful -- even amidst all this threatening doom.  

  When they get to her house she can barely open the door before he pushes her inside, slams it closed with his heel and kisses her absolutely breathless, and when he pulls back his pupils are blown wide and she can feel him, hard as a rock against her.  He opens his mouth, but no sound comes out, nothing but his ragged breathing, and Emma slowly lets her hand wander down his breastbone 

and lower

and lower

until she feels him, wraps her hand around him, and he groans

helpless 

helpless 

and she grins up at him, unrepentantly.

  And strokes him.

Once.

  The sound he makes is feral .

With a growl he picks her up and marches her down the hallway as she wraps her legs around him and kisses his neck, his pulse point, his collarbone, and then he stops, whispers a strangled, “Which door?”, and she doesn’t look up, bites his jaw and points left, and with a snarl he twists the handle and takes two more strides and then finally, finally, they’re on the bed

their limbs tangled

their lips trailing fire

their hands frantically pulling fabric, pulling buttons, pulling belt loops and buckles and bra clasps, and then he stills above her

and she nearly sobs because god, she’s aching 

she’s ready 

and she lifts her hips, rubs herself down his cock and he groans as he enters her 

AllAtOnce

GodItFeelsGoodYES

  WhereHaveYouBeenAllMyLife

I’veWaitedSoLong

ForThis ForYou

  She can feel it, from the tips of her toes to the top of her hairline, as she comes,

she comes---

  And suddenly there is a spark - warm, glowing, golden - it erupts from her hands, shoots jets of light from her fingers,

envelops them

lifts, lifts them halfway off the mattress, 

and she screams as he lets go

and they shudder

and they shake

and they collapse, fall back down, boneless and spent.

They lie there for minutes, just trying to catch their breath, and then she turns to look at his face.  There are tears in his eyes.

Tears.

“Emma,” he whispers.  Just that.  Just her name.  But she knows what he’s saying, knows it in the marrow of her bones and the bottom of her damaged, lonely, fortified heart, she knows.

And so she simply nods, and kisses him softly, and then pulls the covers over both of them.

-/-

In a quirky house on the outskirts of Boston, Elsa Jones rubs her tired eyes, looks at the clock, and calculates the time she has left to sleep before she has to leave.  No matter which way she counts, it’s barely five hours.  She sets her alarm, shucks off her shoes, and curls up on the couch with the afghan.

There really is no point in going to bed.

-

Twisted into tangled sheets in a New England country-style room at Granny’s, two men lie wrapped around each other, one dark-haired, one fair.

They have both given up pretending to be asleep, and try to enjoy just being together for now.  Fingertips run lightly over warm skin, their breaths come slow and evenly.

“He is not getting you,” the dark-haired man says, for perhaps the tenth time.

The blond man smiles, just like he has all nine times before.  

“Good,” he says.  Then he looks up.  “Stay,” he adds.  “Please stay.”

The dark-haired man nods.  “I was never going to leave.”

The blond man smiles again.

“That’s even better,” he says.  “I was never going to let you go.”

-

And in a charmingly messy cabin bedroom on the outskirts of town, a teacher and a deputy lie spooned together under a checkered bedspread, fast asleep; another dark head and fair one, on the same pillow.

-/-

Killian very slowly takes Emma’s hand and threads his fingers through hers.  He knows she’s awake, even though her eyes are closed.  He pulls their hands up to kiss her knuckles and she smiles and slowly opens her eyes.

“Hey,” she says.  Quiet and soft.

“Hey,” he answers.  Just as quiet and soft.

“Are you OK?”

He nods.  He is so much better than OK.  He’s wonderful.

“I’m good, love,” he says, and notices how again, she doesn’t flinch.  So wonderful.  “You?”

She nods, and her smile gets wider.  

“I’m very good,” she says.  “Except that I really want some hot chocolate.”  

She sits up, squeezes their entwined fingers.

“Want to go make some hot chocolate?”  

He does.

Twenty minutes later they are curled up on the couch, in pyjamas and blankets, each with their own mug of what Killian thinks must be the most sinfully delicious thing he’s ever tasted, short of Emma, and then he remembers---

“That light before,” he blurts out.  “Did I--- did I imagine that?”

Emma sighs and takes a long sip before she sets the cup down on the coffee table and looks up at him.

“No,” she shakes her head.  “No, something definitely happened.”

“Do you think----”  He can’t bring himself to say it out loud.  He doesn’t want to spook her.

“I don’t know.”  Her voice is a whisper now.  “There was a----  it felt like a spark, and suddenly there was power .  Energy, you know?”

He nods.

“I don’t know what it was.”  

He can feel her uncertainty as she speaks, feel her hesitation.  Her brow crinkles.  He kisses the furrow, then leans his forehead against hers.  

“Don’t be afraid,” he says.  “It’s OK.”

She sighs and closes her eyes.  “Whatever it was, it ignited , somehow.  Or at least that’s what it felt like.  And then it--- it just---”

“Shot from your fingers?”

“Yeah.”  She pulls back and rolls her eyes.  “But that’s crazy, right?”

He shakes his head.  “No, Emma.  I felt it.  You felt it.  It lifted us off the bed .”  He smiles at her.  “Whatever it was, it was real.  And you are not crazy.”

-/-

In her Bangor morgue, Dr Ashley Boyd slowly closes the lid of a hard case filled with evidence bags and notes and flash drives.  She clicks the clasps shut and grabs her coat and then carefully wheels the case out to her car.

The thump of her trunk lid slamming shut on top of the case echoes across the empty parking lot as she methodically opens the driver’s side door and starts the car.  She sits there for almost a minute, engine idling, lost in thought.

Then she puts the car in gear and turns its nose towards Storybrooke.

-/-

“You asked me about my ancestors.”

  They’ve been silent for many long minutes, and Killian nearly jumps when Emma speaks again.  He tightens his arms around her.  What he wouldn’t give for a moment of solace, for a time-out, for the chance to just be together, just enjoy each other for a little longer.

She folds her hand through his and squeezes, as if she heard him, as if she knew what he’s thinking, and he can feel her want it, too.

But time waits for no one.

  “I did.”  He kisses the top of her head as she sighs.  “It’s a theory.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.  “I’m so sorry I couldn’t help.  I’m sorry I don’t know anything.”

Even in his embrace he can feel her shoulders slump, and he tightens the arm around her waist as he pulls their entwined hands up to his heart.

“Emma,” he says.  He loves saying her name.  “Please don’t apologize.  None of this is your fault.”

She looks up and her eyes are suspiciously shiny.

“I don’t-----”  Her voice cuts out and she clears her throat.  “I feel useless.”

It hurts something deep inside of him, the way she says that.  The way he can feel true pain leak through these few words.

He kisses her gently and squeezes her fingers again, and then reaches up to cup her cheek.

“You could never be useless,” he says.  “You matter.  You matter to me.”

A choked sob escapes her and then she’s kissing him, hard.

  Minutes pass before she pulls back, her eyes still wet, but her smile wide and genuine.

“You’re never going back to your room at Granny’s, by the way,” she says.  “You’re stuck with me now.”

His heart does a truly wonderful and terrifying leap and he has to take a second or fifteen to remember how to breathe before he can nod and say, “Good.  That’s good.”

And then he has to hug her again.

  “I think the hot chocolate is no longer hot,” she finally says, pointing her chin at the mugs on the coffee table after another long bout of silence.

He doesn’t care at all.

He has his arms full of Emma.  That’s better than anything else.

“We’ll make more later,” he says and then pulls back to look at her.  “Would you like to tell me what you do know?”

Her brow furrows.  “How do you mean?”

He smiles.  “About your past.  About your beginnings.  The things you know about it.”  

She bites her lip and he hastens to add, “Only if you want to, of course.  Not if it causes you pain, love.”

“No, it’s OK,” she says, and relaxes against him.  “There’s not that much to tell, and----”  She takes a deep breath.  “I don’t mind sharing it with you.”

  He knows the magnitude of this gift she’s giving him. Knows that this is a big thing for her.

Waits until she speaks again.

  “There’s not much to tell.”  Her voice is matter-of-fact.  “I was found by the side of a highway.  A country road, not an interstate - not far from Portland.  The police report actually doesn’t state which one, so I’m not altogether sure, even though I’ve spent--- well, some time trying to figure it out.”

She shudders and he tightens his arms. 

“Are you cold?”  He whispers.

“No.”  She shakes her head. Burrows deeper into the blanket.  “These are just very old ghosts.  I’m fine.”  Still that calm, neutral voice.

It takes her a few moments, before she goes on.

He just waits.

  “Anyway,” she finally says, “I was found by a random boy taking a shortcut home from school.  He thought I was a toy at first, or at least that’s what the papers said.  They didn’t identify the boy by name, and neither did the police report, since he was a minor.  Only seven years old, I believe.  Which is odd, because what 7-year-old walks home from school alone?”  Her voice sounds far away now, very much lost in thought.  “Not that it matters,” she goes on.  Back to matter-of-fact.  “He found me and I guess he realized I was an actual human baby once I started crying, and so he carried the basket I was in to the nearest adult.  And thus I entered the system.”

  Something cold and hard tightens in his stomach at those words, at the meaning behind them, and he buries his nose in her hair.

“I’m so sorry love,” he says softly.  

She chuckles a dry, mirthless laugh.  “It is what it is.”

He half expects her to go rigid, to close off, but instead she exhales a long breath and relaxes into his embrace, leans her head against his shoulder, her fingers playing idly with the folds of his sleeve.

“There’s not much else to tell.”  Her voice is pensive now, quiet, and he’ll take that over her eerie neutral any day.  “There was a string of foster homes and group homes and failed escapes.”  Again that mirthless chuckle.  “They always catch you.”  She shrugs.  “No matter how fast or how far you run.”

  There’s nothing he can say. All he can do is hold her tightly and hope she feels that he’s here.  With her.

Especially since he is busy trying not to imagine what would compel a teenager to run away, to want to exchange a roof over her head for a life on the streets.  He can’t imagine it, because he’ll go mental, and that is not what Emma needs.

  “But the last time they caught me, I ended up in a holding cell in Bangor,” she goes on and snaps his thoughts back out of the screeching loop of cruel siblings and bullies and predatory foster fathers.  “And that’s where I met Ashley.”  She smiles.  “Dr Boyd, you know?”

He nods and she shifts slightly, lets her hand wander down his arm, puts it on his.

“She just happened to be at the station.  She was doing her residency at Portland Mercy, was just contemplating going into forensic medicine, and happened to be in Bangor that day, for a meeting with the coroner.  I was waiting to be processed out and she sat down next to me on the bench and just started talking to me.  She asked me what I was doing there and I told her.  I thought it would shut her up, but instead she started to ask me lots of questions.  Most of them hypothetical.  Like, what did I think of the criminal justice system, and the duties of law enforcement, and so on.”  

She chuckles again, and this time it’s genuine.  

“Anyway, I was bored, and the woman from child services was taking forever, and so I answered every one.  And after Ashley was done asking me all these questions she said -- and I will never forget this -- she said, ‘You’re too smart to be this stupid, kid.’  She told me to stop fucking around, and to tough it out and stop running away, and that I had a great future in law enforcement ahead of me.  And that I should become a sheriff, not a cop.  She said I would do well in a self-contained space where I could make my own decisions, and that a metropolitan precinct would just grind me up and spit me back out.”

  This time she laughs out loud, and so does he.

  “She certainly had your number,” he says.

“She certainly did.”  Emma nods.  “And thank my lucky stars she did, because for once in my life, I took someone’s advice.  And she turned out to be right.  Of course.  It’s really infuriating just how often she’s right.”

He has to take a deep breath because again he’s not thinking of things, things like how they never would have met if she hadn’t ended up on a police station bench in a medium-sized town in Maine of all places, and he whispers, “I’m so glad you’re here.”  

  She leans up, kisses his jaw, his neck, his collarbone, and he bends down, catches her lips, soft and warm and wonderful against his.

  Warm and wonderful.

Warm.

  That golden warmth spreads through him again, and finds an answering glow in Emma, and they both look at her hands, sparking, humming, luminous ---

Light threads through her fingers, curls up her arms, almost playful, and he reaches out, can’t not reach for her, and when his hand touches hers the light explodes, becomes a focused, powerful beam, shooting straight at the wall, and for a moment

one 

brief 

endless 

moment

the wall disappears 

and there is darkness

and wind

and the roll of thunder

and the crash of waves

and the screaming of beasts

  and then nothing.

  Just a wall.

And two people on a sofa, wrapped around each other.

Holding hands.

 .

.

.

[z3ld4]

Mercy Me - Part One

Summary: Jacqueline Laymore can’t really tell when it started to hurt to call Spencer her friend. But that didn’t really matter after she got kidnapped. Right now all that matters is getting home and getting Spencer Reid.

Warnings: Angsty? Mentions of self harm, suicidal ideation, death, kidnapping, is catholic guilt a warning? culty vibes, mentions of torture, and a very small mention of rape and gouging one’s eyes out.

Word Count: 1.3k (its a babey for the first part)

A/N: this is one of my first fanfictions on tumblr and in this fandom, so idk be nice or like really mean, criticize me, i don’t really mind. i used to write aphmau fanfiction nothing really hurts at this point. also this is an original female character fic because i for real can not write fic in the y/n format and i’ve had this idea for a while. it took a lot of effort to post this without puking in anxiety first but i hope it goes well ig.

If Jacqueline was going to die right then and there, she would have frankly been pissed. Sitting in the bathtub with blood seeping out of shallow cuts on her thighs would not be a great way to go. It’s especially stupid because they weren’t even new. Jacqueline knew better than to cut in the tub.

Especially since she’d been clean before the incident.

She wondered if that was the time to back up and take a second to think. Think about her wrongdoings.

Of course, Gabriel doesn’t give her the release of death and instead shot himself in the neck. Her eyes, always the worst part of her body, follow the arterial spray as it stains the yellowing ceilings. She almost wants to take the revolver and shoot herself in the head, but that would contaminate the crime scene.

Jacqueline is smarter than that. But the revolver is so close to her. Yet just out of reach. 

Everything seems to be just out of reach when you’re kidnapped. 

But everything is moot compared to the digging feeling in her stomach telling her that the gun still has five more rounds. 

She doesn’t. Of course, there is more to her life than being a martyr for another’s sins. That isn’t what Father Julien said when she was younger, but Father Julian also tried to gouge out her eyes in the town square.

Father Julian did a lot of things, talking about the grace of God wasn’t one of them. But what can you really expect from a man that creates a psychopath? Jacqueline dug the heels of her hands into her eyes, creating swirling patterns behind her eyelids. Phosphenes. She can hear him say it. Spencer always made sure to tell her the weirdest facts he could remember. She can’t remember most of them but sometimes his voice pops up in her head reminding her of them.

A lot of things pop up in Jacqueline’s head these days. She smoothed her hair back with the water on her hands and stepped awkwardly out of the tub. Taking two towels from the rack on the wall, she wrapped up her hair and body. Carefully stepping around Gabriel’s body and blood pool she enters the bedroom. For a cheap motel, it was quite clean. Frankly, it wouldn’t be half bad if the carpet wasn’t a brown color and she didn’t come with the guy who kidnapped her. She dug through Gabriel’s luggage until she found yet another, white cotton sundress. It wasn’t a bad dress, quite pretty in reality. It was the situation that made it the ugliest rag Jacqueline had ever seen. It fell to just below her knees and the bodice fit her waist perfectly, the spaghetti straps dug into her shoulders but it could have been much, much worse. 

Jacqueline would have liked the dress in another life. However, Gabriel had a thing for the whole ‘white equals purity’ thing and tortured her in a dress similar to the one she was putting on.

She stopped putting the dress on. Blinking through the tears forming in her line of sight, Jacqueline searches for a shirt and a pair of pants that could maybe fit her. She found Gabriel’s taupe button-up and slipped it over her shoulders, buttoning the front up to the third button. After digging a little more she finds a pair of army green pants, a little too high waisted for such a masculine man but she puts them on. Luckily Gabriel also had a pair of hiking boots which Jacqueline took the shoelace out of and used it as a belt.

The sandals that she wore when out with Gabriel would have to do, though it looked a little silly. Jacqueline took her hair out of the towel and ruffled it up a little, she always hated leaving her thick, wavy hair without product in it but it’s better than brushing it. The bangs brushing against the bridge of her nose are going to make her cry though. She used to hate how she looked in bangs but now, with Gabriel’s praises ringing in her ears, she almost likes the way they frame her face.

Almost.

Jacqueline grabbed Gabriel’s wallet on the way out of their hotel room.

The secretary looked at Jacqueline funny as she checked out. Granted, it was well deserved, Jacqueline looked like a mess of men’s clothing. She also was leaving without Gabriel, which sounded a little unheard of considering he didn’t even let her speak when they checked in.

Jacqueline wanted to call the police so the maid didn’t get a nasty surprise. She didn’t have a phone on her but she walked to the payphone on the street corner and quickly called 911. 

“Hi, Hello. Y-yes… I… I need to report a suicide at Maple Leaf Motel, room 3C. My… My p-partner shot himself in the neck!” She wailed into the phone before hanging up. She was always good at faking things. Right now, faking composure seems to be the only thing keeping her sane.

Time to catch a flight to Quantico, Virginia.

Or, more likely, hitchhike. If there was anything Jacqueline had learned in her nine years with the BAU is to not hitchhike. But she had about two hundred and fifty dollars and the clothes on her back. And if anything she could pay for some gas and maybe use the self-defense that Morgan taught her. She knew that from where she was it would be around twenty days by foot. A twenty-hour car ride. And maybe a five-hour flight depending on the airport. The closest 'big' town near Maple Leaf was Lexington. 

And deep down, Jacqueline really wanted to take a road trip. Nebraska is quite a pretty state. Though walking would be a little excessive considering she's technically been off for two months already.

The fact that she’d been with Gabriel for two months sent shivers down Jacqueline’s spine. The bureau wouldn't take her vacation days away for being kidnapped but you never really know with the government, do you? She started walking to the library when she realized that she could email Strauss and talk about her job and how fast she can be reinstated. Luckily the library was a few blocks down the street.

"Hello, dear! What can I help you with today?" The elderly woman behind the help desk smiled. Jacqueline figured that they didn't get that many people inside the small library. 

Jacqueline forced a smile and walked up to the desk, "Can I use one of the computers? I need to email my boss about my... vacation."

The librarian gives Jacqueline a sugary sweet smile. "May I, Deary," The librarian corrected.

"Right," Jacqueline drawls. The librarian walked her to a clunky old computer and logged on before shoving Jacqueline down into the seat. Jacqueline goes through google to find her email service and quickly write one to Strauss. Strauss responded quickly, a short email reading:

Dear Agent Laymore,

You're thought to be dead. I can not grant you the ability to step into your building for recertification and discussions of reinstating you until you prove otherwise.

Erin Strauss

Jacqueline responded:

Dear Erin,

You're supposed to be nicer to people who are held as a hostage. Anyways, I guess a way to prove my identity would be that I can sing 'On My Own' from Les Mis perfectly, I know you have heard me do it. And that your husband divorced you after he gave you half of his liver due to your liver cirrhosis. You told me this one night when I was crying over my brother killing himself and getting disowned. I am the only person on the current team (I assume, though I'm sure Rossi knows ;D) who has that information on you.

With love,

Dr. Jacqueline Laymore PsyD

Ps. Please don't give my job away because I made a joke.

Erin responded with a very annoyed emailing detailing what they will discuss once Jacqueline reaches Quantico. With a valid ID of course.

Now the hard part, finding someone who wasn't a serial killer to hitchhike with. For at least twenty-four hours. In a car.

Spencer's voice called out in the back of Jacqueline's head, reminding her that there is a 0.0000086% of being killed or raped while hitchhiking.