#Frigga teaching Loki magic when he was young and her being the reason he's so like that is *chef's kiss*

[fidelitygoddess]

𝐀𝐧 𝐈𝐧-𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐲𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐬... - PART 1

(Pre-Thor to Thor: The Dark World)

This post will cover important key moments for Sigyn in her Marvel verses and go into-depth on the verses. Just think of it as a little more added information than what my brief summaries for the verses give her. And as always, these things can be flexible and adaptable to fit with writing partners. This is just for the people who love the extra added details like me :)

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 - Marvel/MCU Verse (with Young!Sigyn)

PRE-THOR----

This explores Sigyn's childhood, with her parents working as diplomats for the Royal Asgardian Family, and growing up alongside Thor, Loki and Sif.

After an incident where she almost accidentally burns down her home, her parents realize she has magical abilities and asks Queen Frigga to teach her how to control it.

She grows up with stories of brave heroic warriors who defeat and slay monsters. At first Sigyn believes the stories and is afraid of monsters, but when she becomes a teenager, she starts to question if the monsters are really monsters or just misunderstood or if it depends on whose telling the story.

She thinks of Loki as her best friend, but is also close with Thor and especially Sif since she is the only other female in their friendship circle.

She is usually either with Loki studying magic, reading, playing in nature or with animals, or even more so, trying to keep Thor out of trouble.

She also gets along well with the Warriors Three.

When she becomes a teenager she starts to develop a crush on Loki.

She knows Sif has a crush on Thor and Sif knows Sigyn has one on Loki. They help each other and talk to each other about it. And of course Sigyn is crushed when she finds out Sif has a one-night stand with Loki, but when Sif explains herself and what happened, Sigyn eventually forgives her friend.

Sigyn's mother, Helga, would teach her Floriography and the uses of herbs with healing, sparking her desire to become a healer early on.

Growing up, Sigyn was often the heart and voice of reason, acting like the perfect child. However, she could be rebellious and mischievous at times.

𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐲 - Marvel/MCU Verse #1

PRE-THOR----

As an adult, Sigyn works as one of Queen Frigga's handmaidens while studying to become a Healer.

She has become proficient in using magic. However, besides using magic, Sigyn wants to learn basic combat too. Sif helps teach her.

At this point Sigyn has realized she has fallen in love with Loki, and once working up the courage, she confesses her feelings.

They eventually end up marrying each other, and with this, Sigyn becomes Princess of Asgard.

Sigyn learns how to adapt to her new responsibilities as Princess of Asgard, and because she is now a Princess, Queen Frigga dismisses her saying she no longer needs to be a handmaiden.

After all the hard work, Sigyn finally becomes a Healer.

THOR 1---

Sigyn is present for Thor's coronation. She knows of Loki's concerns about his brother not being ready yet with taking on the title as King and shares it, but there is nothing else they can do except trust in Odin's judgement and continue to keep an eye on Thor.

After the intrusion by the Frost Giant's, Sigyn disagrees with her brother-in-law who says they should attack Jotunheim back, even when he tries to convince her otherwise. Sigyn, however, knows she can't stop Thor, nor will she let him endanger the others, so being the only one adapt in healing, decides to join Thor, Loki, Sif and the Warriors Three to Jotunheim.

However, she does warn one of the guards, along with Loki, about them leaving.

Sigyn chooses to follow diplomatic matters and greets King Laufey with warmth, trying to use what she knows from her parents and how they treat diplomatic matters. It seems things are going well since he allows them to leave peacefully. Loki persuades his brother to accept the offer, however...

Thor reacts brashly to a Frost Giant's taunts and it all goes to shit with them battling. When Fandral gets hurt, Sigyn runs to his side, trying to heal him while the others help protect her.

Odin arrives and thankfully intervenes. However, it's too late. War has begun with Jotunheim again. They are returned back home to Asgard.

For the first time in her life, Sigyn is mad at Thor for what has happened. However, it quickly changes when Odin takes it even further, banishing Thor from Asgard and stripping him of his powers. The sight alone makes Sigyn run cold with fear. This is also the first time she has ever seen the truth wrath of King Odin.

Sigyn speaks with her parents about what happened since they come to her concerned. At this moment Loki goes to speak with Odin, confronting him for hiding his true heritage as a Frost Giant.

When Sigyn finds out that Odin is in the Odinsleep and Frigga has made Loki temporary King, she can tell there is something bothering Loki. Something he isn't telling her. She asks him about it, but he brushes her off.

Sigyn is quick to defend Loki when Sif and the Warriors Three come to her thinking that Loki was conspiring for the throne, leading to Thor's banishment. She knows Loki cares about his family and wouldn't do such a thing.

She notices Loki distancing himself from her, only making her worry and asks Frigga what Loki is not telling her. Loki had his mother promise not to tell her, but Frigga tells her the truth about his heritage as a Frost Giant.

Now Sigyn understands it all as to why he suddenly started acting distant. She is surprised to learn of it, but it doesn't change how she feels about Loki. She only worries about him, knowing he isn't handling it well and wants to let him know she loves him regardless if he is a Frost Giant or Asgardian.

However, Asgard is under attack once more by the Frost Giants. Laufey comes to kill Odin, but Loki saves him with Frigga and Sigyn witnessing it. Sigyn tries to tell Loki she knows the truth about who he is now, but the moment is interrupted by Thor's return, who is angry at Loki.

Of course it ends up with the brothers getting in the middle of a fight. Sigyn tries to stop it, but to no avail.

She runs off after them. The bridge shatters with Thor and Loki starting to fall, but luckily, Odin awakes in time to save them. However...Loki lets go. When she questions what happened to Loki, Thor and Odin sadly tell her.

This is the first time Sigyn has been strucken with grief over the loss of Loki...and it won't be the last.

Sigyn mourns the loss of Loki with Thor, Odin and Frigga. During this time, Thor also tells her about what happened to him on Earth and about Jane Foster. She comments on how her brother-in-law has changed and matured and while she is sorry he is separated from the Midgardians, she is happy he is back home safe and sound, especially now.

She starts to spend more time with her brother-in-law, Sif and the Warriors Three, not sure exactly where to go from here.

THE AVENGERS/THOR: THE DARK WORLD---

Sigyn finds out from Queen Frigga that Loki is alive on Midgard and that Thor has been sent to bring him back home. It is the first ray of hope she experiences since mourning. Her parents even note on her sudden difference in becoming cheerful again.

But yet, things won't be the same since Loki returns home as a prisoner and criminal for the crimes he committed on New York City.

Sigyn is present in the throne room when she sees Loki arrive in shackles. She is overjoyed to see him alive again, but shocked by what he has done, wondering if there is something more to this. The Loki she knows wouldn't do the things he's done.

When Odin snaps at Loki, telling him "your birthright was to die", Thor has to literally hold Sigyn back and tell her not to interfere or things could turn out far worse for Loki, and for her (since he knows from personal experience.)

Sigyn settles down, but remains furious with Odin for how he has treated Loki, even when he goes so far as to sentence Loki a life-sentence in prison and refuses to let Frigga or Sigyn ever see Loki again.

Sure, Sigyn is known for following the rules, but you can bet she isn't accepting this bullshit. This is one of the few and rare moments where she will break the rules.

She goes to visit Frigga, hoping she can persuade Odin to at least let them visit Loki. Frigga says she can't, but also tells Sigyn that what Odin doesn't know won't hurt him. They both work up a plan to visit Loki in their own way. Frigga has already started ordering the guards to bring books and comfort to Loki's cell. While Frigga uses illusions to visit her son, Sigyn wants to be there physically.

With the help of her magic, she sneaks down to the Dungeons to visit Loki, making sure to watch out for guards and using certain spells so she is only visible to and can be heard by Loki. She knows the risk she is taking, but she doesn't agree with Odin's ruling and refuses to leave Loki alone, even when he tries to tell her she shouldn't be doing this.

During the times when she goes down to the Dungeons to visit Loki, she tries to ask him about what happened in New York and open up to her. Eventually he does and he tells her about Thanos. Sigyn also spends the time telling Loki that Frigga told her about his true origins as a Frost Giant and that it doesn't change how she feels about him. She loves Loki because he is Loki, not because he is a Prince of Asgard or Jotunheim. Sigyn also informs Loki of some things happening outside the Dungeons.

When she isn't spending her time sneaking down to the Dungeons to speak with Loki, Sigyn is usually with Thor, Frigga, her parents or the Warriors Three. She tends to avoid Odin if she can because she doesn't think she can hold herself back from snapping at the King of Asgard.

When Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three go away to Vanaheim to stop the Marauders, Sigyn arrives after the battle as a healer to help anyone who needs healing.

Sigyn meets Jane Foster alongside Frigga when Thor brings her to Asgard. She can tell Sif isn't happy about it, but warmly welcomes the human. All she wants is for her brother-in-law to be happy.

She helps Eir as they discover the Aether is one with Jane, and keeps quietly glaring at Odin. They work on trying to find a way to remove it from Jane without killing her. She spends this time getting to know her alongside Frigga.

A riot has broken out in the prisons. Thor asks for her to keep an eye on Jane with Frigga. However, Frigga has expected this diversion and instructs the girls to follow her orders, already having a plan in place.

Sigyn, already knowing what she is up to, having practiced such procedures when she was one of Frigga's Handmaidens, attempts to act as a servant once again while Frigga makes a holographic replica of Jane. Sigyn places a protective barrier around Jane who is hiding. When Malekith enters the room, Sigyn arrives at Frigga's side and tries to help her stop Malekith. Frigga is nearly successful in besting him, but Kurse intervenes, grabbing Frigga and demanding she tell him where Jane and the Aether are. When she refuses, all Sigyn can do is watch helplessly as Frigga is wounded, but Thor has also witnessed it too, sending a bolt of lightning towards Malekith as the Dark Elves flee.

Sigyn then quickly grabs Frigga and tries to use healing spells on her, sobbing and shouting with panic, begging her to stay awake. But she is unable to help. The wounds are too deep and she isn't healing fast enough to counteract it. Frigga ends up dying in her arms with Thor and Odin sobbing alongside Sigyn.

She is a wreck knowing she couldn't save her Queen or Mother-in-laws life and it is the first incident that starts making her doubt about her calling as a Healer.

The funeral is held and Sigyn isn't sure what to tell Loki. All she knows is that it will leave him heartbroken too. She ends up sending a guard to tell him before planning to sneak down to the Dungeons to visit him again after the funeral.

However, Thor stops her, knowing exactly what she is up to and asks her to accompany him to see Loki, coming up with a plan to avenge Frigga, but also save Jane since Odin refuses to do so.

This is the first time Sigyn absolutely agrees with Thor's plans without hesitation and joins him.

They help free Loki from his cell and in act their plan. With help from Sif, Fandral, and Volstagg, they hijack a downed Dark Elf ship and make their way out of Asgard and to a hidden portal that teleports them to Svartalfheim. Sigyn notes on how the Aether is starting to drain the life from Jane and they need to hurry. She can't do much else to help her.

When Loki and Thor start fighting, with it seeming as if Loki is betraying Thor, Sigyn can tell it is one of their tricks. After all, she knows what it is like when they are really fighting each other having grown up around them. So she goes along with the act, but it is all revealed to be a ruse.

Just when it seems they might be getting somewhere, however, Loki ends up injured. Sigyn rushes over to help heal her husband, telling him he will be okay, but clearly struggles with healing him, having it be a reminder of how she couldn't save Frigga. At this point Sigyn is starting to think her magic is failing her. She can't save the ones she loves. Loki appears to die.

Sigyn ends up following Thor and Jane to Earth, making this Sigyn's first time visiting Midgard in a long time since she was a little girl centuries ago. She helps to defeat Malekith, knowing it is also what Loki would want.

After their victory, Sigyn returns back to Svartalfheim, searching for Loki's body, but is unable to find it. This leads her to wonder if somehow he was still alive. She should already expect tricks from Loki at this point. She doesn't know whether to feel angry or sad or both if she knew he was still alive and had tricked her like that.

Sigyn and Thor return back to Asgard and greet "Odin", who congratulates them on their victory. However, Thor shocks them both when he reveals he is not ready to bear the weight of the throne and be king. Instead, he has plans to return back to Earth and be with Jane.

When "Odin" asks Sigyn if she has plans of her own as well, she pauses, pondering over his question with deep thought. She replies with tears in her eyes, saying that as a Healer she wasn't able to save the ones she loves. She wasn't able to save Frigga or Loki. And she is now not clear on what her purpose or calling is in life...but she would like to go out there and find it. For the first time in her life, Sigyn chooses to leave Asgard, wanting to go to Earth with Thor and find her purpose so she can eventually return back to Asgard and be a better and stronger Princess for their people.

"Odin" is shocked, but does not stop Thor or Sigyn.

to be continued in PART 2...

[worstloki]

Loki: I’m going to fill Thor’s room with rubber ducks

Frigga: No you’re not

Loki: Aww, c’mon you’re no fun

Frigga: You’re going to fill his room with REAL ducks. And geese, maybe some chickens too-

[lucianalight]

Death to the Monster of Nature

There are many examples of terrible parents in MCU; Howard, Odin, Ego, Thanos etc. The newest member of this club is Evanora. I believe there is a certain kind of cruelty and prejudice in a parent who condemns their child to death. Specially when the said child begs them for help over and over again.

Evanora, the head of Agatha’s coven accuses her of betraying the coven by stealing knowledge above her age and station and practicing the darkest of magic. Agatha answers that “I did not break your rules. They simply bent to my power”. This implies to me that she has found loopholes in the rules and used them and/or she was so powerful that the magical rules didn’t work for her.

After this admission, the witches start chanting and Agatha recognizes what they’re doing and panics and starts begging to them. Interestingly the first thing she says isn’t begging for her life. It’s a warning for the coven’s safety.

“No, I can’t control it! If only you would teach me! Help me! Please!”

Then she turns to her mother and begs her, pleads with her. But Evanora starts chanting with other witches too.

“Mors monstrum natura”

Which if I have translated it correctly(I don’t know Latin. I used Wikitionary to find the meaning), means “death to the monster of nature”. Agatha’s expression is so heartbreaking when she realizes her own mother condemns her to death.

When the coven try to execute Agatha, at first she screams in pain, but as she had warned them and to her own surprise, her power which she could not control, reacts and starts taking the coven’s power from them.

Then Evanora joins the execution. But Agatha still has enough compassion to not let her mother be affected.

[Source of the gifs]

Again she begs her mother that she can be good. But Evanora rejects her.

As some fans has noticed, this moment is a parallel to the scene where Odin rejects Loki and denies his love and approval from him, when Loki physically and mentally is hanging on the edge of an abyss. This causes Loki to commit suicide.

[Source of the gifs]

But there are other similarities that Odin and Evanora share.

Odin raised his children with the belief that Jotuns were monsters, while one of his children was adopted from that race. He hid the truth about Loki’s race from him, claiming he wanted to protect Loki from the truth. Meaning the truth, which was Loki being Jotun, in Odin’s mind was so horrible that Loki needed protecting from!

In TDW, Odin doesn’t give Loki a fair trial. Because he has already made up his mind about him. He calls Loki a creature he doesn’t recognize and “Laufeyson” based on the canonical tie-in comic. Odin tells Loki that his birth right was to die as a child, cast out onto a frozen rock.

He tells Loki that the reason he won’t execute him is Frigga and sentences Loki to never seeing his mother again and solitary confinement for life. This for a crime Odin himself committed in a worse way in the past. A crime which was done when Loki’s mind was under the influence of the mind stone and he was under duress and threat of torture.

Evanora doeas the same to Agatha. Agatha in that scene, seemed like a young and curious witch who is a little arrogant because of her amount of power. She probably sought knowledge and experimented with dark magic because of these characteristics and her thirst for knowledge. But she was not evil. As she warns the coven that she can’t control her power and repeatedly begs them and her mother for help and teaching. But Evanora has already made up her mind about her. She doesn’t ask Agatha for her reasons, or what exactly happened. What they brought Agatha to, wasn’t a trial, it was a planned execution. Evanora sees her child as a monster and probably fears her because of how powerful Agatha is, and condemns her to death.

Still after all their parents done to them, Agatha and Loki still feel some kind of affection for them.

Loki, after erasing Odin’s memory brings him to a retirement home so he can be comfortable and you can clearly see how sad he was after Odin’s death.

And Agatha takes her mother’s pendant hesitantly, and wears it all the time afterward.

As a token from the mother who created her worst fear. Because the execution was where Wanda’s magic(which shows someone their worst fear), took them in the final battle.

Agatha and Loki, unlike what their parents believed, were not monsters, nor deserved death.

[alirhi]

Loki ranting

Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.

BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂

So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...

For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.

Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.

When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.

I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.

Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol

Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!

So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.

So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.

Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".

Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.

Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.

So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.

And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!

Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.

Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.

Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)

In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.

At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)

Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD

Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!

I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.

The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD

I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.

What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.

And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.

Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)

So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."

I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.

The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.

This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.

The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.

In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?

And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?

Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.

Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?

Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.

Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.

[chipper9906]

Maybe

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR LOKI SEASON 01 EPISODE 05: ‘JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY’ AND SEASON 01 EPISODE 04: ‘THE NEXUS EVENT’

Pairings: Loki/Sylvie

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 4,124 

Status: One Shot - Complete

Chapter Preview:

He had meant for it to come out more as a question, an offering. A possibility for the both of them. But what it really sounded like was a… well; a sincere, hope-filled attempt to keep hold of… this. Whatever this was, he knew he wanted it. However things went, he knew-

He wanted Sylvie in his life.

His heart was racing in his chest, pounding almost as hard as it does in the midst of battle. In the unlikely event he’s a free man after all of this over, he’ll have to go and find his brother - if he’ll even talk to him, that is - and apologize for the harsh insult he used; for berating his older brother over his affection for that Earth woman.

He understood now.

Link To Fic

OR

Click Below To Keep Reading

Author Note: 

Oh Boy, here I go again, getting sucked into yet another ship. Basically, this is a dive into Loki's thoughts during the blanket scene in Episode 5 "Journey Into Mystery" because man, I sure do love getting into a character's head and breaking down their thought process.

P.S. No joke, I think I re-watched the blanket scene like... over 40 times I counted, roughly. Wanted to make sure I got every detail right lmao.

Oh wow, would you look at that - yet ANOTHER fic based on the blanket scene? I'm sure this hasn't been done by many different people ever since Episode 5 aired! Nah, I'm sure this is purely original stuff.

(Listen, this scene and - consequently - this fic got stuck in my head and I just had to write it down and... well here we are.

* * *

This was, as he had said, new for him.

It was… strange, to say the least. Not just because the woman who was sat next to him was, technically, on some sort of level, himself. And yet… not. Sylvie was her own person, that was for sure. And the only Loki, from who he’s met, who refuses to be called Loki. She had chosen her own name, and was currently choosing – or carving, was more accurate – her own path. A way out of the never-ending, self-sabotaging, “only use is for improving others” apparent destiny they’ve all found themselves in.

She had lived an entirely different life from him - and the use of the word ‘different’ here is strongly applied. It makes him a little uneasy when he dwells on it for too long if he’s being honest with himself. Yes, there may some similarities between them, as to be expected, but Sylvie had lived her own set of experiences different to his. Differences that had shaped her, made her see the world… universe… timeline? All of that, in a different way to him. Learning of the things she had gone through, what she’s trying to accomplish… it made his “glorious purpose” of ruling over “Mid-guard” seem like a spoiled boy's desperate attempt to feel important.

Everything with Sylvie and the TVA had shut down that ideal very quickly. Or, at least, has changed his view of his “Glorious Purpose”. The one change that he hadn’t seen coming, that Sylvie herself had told him; the very first words she had actually said to him:

“This isn’t about you.”

No, it wasn’t about him. Not just him, anyway. It was… it was all of him. Every version of himself out there, and every other variant of... Of everyone to have ever existed. Those, just like him, who are punished for stepping out of their pre-written timeline. Those that, when they try to change themselves, to be the person who those that loved him did everything in their power to guide them to be, were snatched away by the TVA and sent here to this pit of unwanted, broken things; left with nothing but unforgiving and dirty survival, only to lead to their inevitable death. 

And it’s cold.

“Mobius isn’t so bad.”

Sylvie breaks the comfortable lull of silence they had found themselves in. They were, technically, supposed to be ironing out the details of this plan to enchant a creature much, much larger than them, whose only desire is to eat everything that enters the world they’re currently in. Which is why, perhaps, they had taken the moment to just… breathe. A moment of rest, side by side. Whilst it was true that his plan of killing the gargantuan cloud thing was near suicidal, it would be fair to say that Sylvie’s plan was equally as dangerous. Then again, what did he expect? Seemed that every type of Loki out there isn’t the best at creating plans…

“Or so good,” Loki counters. It seemed almost cruel to say, but… it was also true, wasn’t it? Sure, Mobius had done the things he’d done because he thought they were the right things to do – but that didn’t take away from the fact that he’d done them. How many variants, not only of him, but of so many other poor souls had been doomed to this place because of his work? Still, it wasn’t like Mobius had the full picture with everything. Mobius had been lied to just as much as he had. “I think that’s why we get along.”

A small smile pulls at Sylvie’s lips. She takes a deep breath in, staring out to the horizon where Alioth awaits prowling his territory. “He cares about you.”

That catches him off guard. He supposed that she and Mobius must have had some type of conversation in however long they’d spent driving to reach them. Apparently, the topic of conversation must have steered towards him at some point. And somehow, through that, Sylvie had deduced that Mobius… cared about him?

There’s a soft, knowing smile on Sylvie’s face as she catches sight of his reaction. It was probably the closest similarity they shared: friendships… didn’t quite seem to happen for them. 

But there’s something else there in Sylvie’s expression as she looks to him. Almost a twinge of… of sadness. It sends an aching sort of pain through his chest as he sees it, coming to a sudden realization in his head. He knew that, deep down, the reason for his own loneliness was all due to himself. He knows now that there were plenty in his life that loved him, that always treated him like family even when, genetically, he wasn’t. But he had been blinded by jealousy and hatred, hatred that they had kept the secret of his true nature quiet for so long. It was because of this; this stubbornness and this selfish, false ideal that he deserves more, that he had made himself alone. 

But Sylvie…? She had been well and truly alone. From such a young age, an age where his mother had barely begun teaching him the basics of magic, she had been snatched away from her life. Everything she ever knew and loved had been wiped away, the timeline dumped here just like everything else the TVA – or whoever the hell is actually in charge of the damn universe and its multiple timelines – decided was too much of a threat. Ever since then, from that very same day she had managed to escape their clutches, she had been running alone. All those years, fighting to survive, completely alone, existing in one apocalypse after the other. Even if she did try and interact with the people in those timelines, what would be the point? They were doomed to die, anyway… 

Her words echo in his head for a moment, her sad smile seemingly etched into his memory. A part of him, that strangely soft side he didn’t know existed that had been growing stronger and stronger these past few days, burst with the need to do something, to remove the pain she was feeling. For just a split second, he nearly gives into it. He nearly says the words that were forcing their way to the forefront of his brain. 

‘I care about you.’

But the words stay safely locked away in his head. Sylvie looks away from him, and the moment passes. He didn’t know if she had been expecting for him to say anything, and he certainly didn’t know what it is she might have thought he would say. His mind clambers for something, for anything to try and bring the moment back.

A strong gust of cool wind blows over them, sending chills across his pale skin - despite the long-sleeved shirt he was wearing. He knew that, if he really wanted to warm himself up, he could shift into his true form. Except, he didn’t see it as his true form. He has been an Asgardian as long as he can remember, and for all intents and purpose, this is who he’s meant to be. He is the son of Odin, son of Frigga, brother to Thor, an Asgardian, and he’s proud of that. 

And that’s when the idea pops into his head.

“It’s cold,” Loki states the obvious to Sylvie with a shiver of his upper body, glancing over to try and catch her reaction out of the corner of his eye. For a moment, he wonders if Sylvie has the same views on their true heritage as he does, considering that, in her timeline, she was told she was adopted much earlier than he was. 

She doesn’t mention anything about it, though. Instead, she simply agrees with his statement with a hum of “Mmm-Hmm,” but it’s exactly the kind of answer he’s looking for.

From the outside, it looks like an easy twirl of his fingers and a burst of lime-green light, but in reality, it’s years and years of practice, both by himself and… and with his mother. The weight of the blanket - though light - is comforting as it wraps around his shoulders; silky smooth to the touch and of a darker green than the light of his their magic. 

The burst of color gets Sylvie’s attention, looking over to Loki again to see the new blanket he had materialized out of seemingly thin air - which… he did. 

“I could conjure one for you, if you like?” Loki offers.

Sylvie smiles for just a split second, enough for Loki to believe that she might just say yes. But then her nose scrunches as she comes back to herself, and the belief is gone. “Tell you what, you could conjure me a new outfit,” Sylvie says off-handedly, pulling at the tight collar of her outfit. “You have no idea how uncomfortable something like this is.”

It’s a deflection. He knows that all too well, because… because it’s something he’d do. Not that he can blame her in the slightest. As he had said, just before he was pruned through the heart and sent here - this was entirely new for him. Sure, he had had his fair share of flings back home. Rare occasions when he would give in to temptations, let himself experience a slice of normality. But it was never real. He did not doubt that those that fell into his bed did not do so because they felt a connection, or saw a future. And neither did he. He was a prince, a God, and for most, saying you were able to seduce a prince was an achievement. And for him? Well, it was an easy means to an end, he supposed. 

But this? This felt real. It was strange, it was something he had never experience before, and quite frankly, it scared the ever-living God’s out of him. So sure, he knew how to flirt… somewhat. But with this, with Sylvie? Everything was different, and he had no clue whatsoever what he should do.

“So…” Sylvie breaks him out of his thoughts. “Mobius, and his theory about…”

Oh. Well, he certainly hadn’t been expecting for the conversation to go there. Really, he had thought she might try and pretend to have never heard what Mobius had said. 

“Right, right. About our Nexus event-,”

“Total rubbish, right?”

He’d be lying if he said that didn’t sting a little bit. “Absolutely,” ‘Liar’, a voice in his head hisses. “Of course, I mean-,”

“I don’t mean that it wasn’t a nice moment,” Sylvie hurries to say, and it lessens that sting just a little bit. 

“No, it was great! It was really nice.”

“It just… sounds like another TVA lie.”

Which... Yes, when he thinks about it, could you easily have been a lie. Not that he thinks that Mobius would lie to them about this, no, but that someone else within the TVA had fed Mobius the lie. For what reason, he's not entirely sure. To throw them off the scent perhaps? Keep them from figuring out what can really cause a Nexus Event so powerful that it could conceivably take the TVA down. 

Or, perhaps they just enjoyed lying. More than him even - and that's saying something. 

"A hundred percent. I mean totally, yeah."

And oh, what was this? Loki tries to meet her eye, expecting her to nod her head vehemently in agreement to his statement. But... She won't look at him. She gives a somewhat strained-looking smile, more like a grimace than anything, and if he looks hard enough - by which he means projects his own feelings onto Sylvie and hopes she feels the same - he could almost imagine there was a flicker of disappointment there, too. 

"I don't know how to do this," Sylvie says, an admission he didn't expect. She looks about as awkward as he feels, eyes fixated on her fingers as she plays with them. 

"I don't even know what we're doing," Loki returns, and dear oh dear did he genuinely mean that. One moment he thinks he should take that step, say something, anything. And then the very next moment it becomes the wrong time, the wrong thing to say, and he's back to square one. 

It was frustrating, to say the least.

"I don't have friends," Sylvie carries on, and it's another dagger through the heart. Yet another thing that was so similar, yet so, so different. He had been given so many opportunities for companionship, for friends, but he repeatedly threw them all away. But Sylvie? She wasn't even given the chance. She truly had-

"I don't have..." Sylvie trails off, a long gap where she struggles to find the right word to use. Her eyes had locked onto his, and he knew that nothing less than Alioth appearing right above their heads would get him to tear his eyes away.

"... Anyone." 

"Well, there are more important things, right?" Loki desperately grasps for something to wipe away the blank, dejected look that was etched onto her features. 

"Right? Yeah, like bringing down the TVA." 

For once, one of his plans was going well. "Saving the universe, even."

"Well, there's no need to be dramatic - but yeah, kind of!" 

Then there it was again - a particularly strong breeze pushing up to the little hill they were sat on. Sylvie gives a little shiver as it washes over them, a barely noticeable shuffle in an attempt to get warm, and Loki jumps at the opportunity. 

It only takes one small adjustment, a brief push of magic, and then the blanket is growing, wrapping itself around Sylvie's shoulders in a motion so smooth, you'd think he'd done something like this hundreds of times before. Loki smiles gently to her when she notices the change, and his smile only grows more as Sylvie pulls the blanket tighter around her shoulders, shuffling closer to him by just the smallest of movements. Yet another plan he could now say was a success. 

"It's not very snuggly."

Or, maybe not. "Okay," Loki manages to get out through a surprised laugh, but he does get some sort of gratification in seeing her smile at his response. 

"Is it a tablecloth?" 

"No, it's a blanket," Loki finds himself strangely defending his materialized choice of cloth. 

There’s a pause, the quickest of glances up to him. He sees a brief flash of pink as she pokes out the tip of her tongue between her lips, wetting them as she struggles to get out her next words. “Thank you.”

Loki gets a strange feeling she doesn’t get to say that all too often. Whether that be because she chooses not to, or because she’s never had the opportunity to. When was the last time someone did something nice for her…?

“My pleasure.”

Sure, this was all new, and all types of scary. But, as he sat here, shoulder to shoulder with Sylvie, looking out to the dreary yet oddly beautiful landscape scattered with remnants from pruned timelines, he can't help but feel that this moment right here? It was… nice. Despite the TVA, despite Alioth, despite the fear of imminent death he’s had to live through nearly every moment since the Tesseract flung him into that desert in Mongolia, he had managed to find himself some semblance of peace. 

And it was because of the person next to him.

“How do I know that, in the final moments, you won't betray me?”

Now, this was a conversation he had been expecting. How can he not? It seemed that nearly every single person he’s ever come across, who he hasn’t immediately tried to murder, wonders the exact same thing. The ‘inevitable’ betrayal every Loki seems incapable not to carry out. 

And he couldn’t blame them, just as he can’t blame Sylvie for wondering the same thing. Really, he had thought the whole reason she had wanted this moment to talk to him was to have this very conversation. It was… it was something he had thought about himself, ever since being dragged in by the TVA. It was Mobius that had shown him his consistent deceitful nature - quite literally, by showing him film of every moment in his life where his flair for dramatics and affiliation for backstabbing was apparently used for ‘the bettering of others’. 

It had become deeply ingrained into his nature. It became what he was known for, what his family knew him for. He supposed it gave him some sense of… satisfaction, perhaps? A false sense of security, that he always has the upper hand when need be. It was almost like a trial, opportunities to prove to himself that, when the time comes, he can do what it takes to claim what he, false-fully, felt he was owed. He was certain that the only path to being a rightful ruler was one filled with betrayal. 

And now, after only a few days with Mobius - and an even shorter amount of days with Sylvie, his previous ambition he’s been working towards for so long suddenly wasn’t as important. Things had changed. 

He had changed. 

And that was part of the reason the TVA wanted him dead. 

“Listen, Sylvie, I…” Loki starts, but then stops. He sighs deeply, wanting to find the best way to get this across to her. He needed her to understand. “I betrayed everyone who ever loved me. I betrayed my father, my brother… my home.”

He at least had her full attention now. No more awkward glances at one another, unable to maintain more than a few seconds of eye contact. This was important, and they both knew it. “I know what I did. And I know why I did it. And that’s not who I am anymore. Okay?”

There’s nothing on her face that he can read, nothing that says whether she believes him or not. She had been expecting him to say this, he supposed. “I won't let you down,” Loki says, and he says it like a promise - one he fully intends to keep. 

“You sure?” Sylvie asks, and he nods his head straight away in response. “ ‘Cause if we make it, and the TVA is gone, there might be a timeline for you to rule.” Sylvie continues with a challenging - yet slightly teasing- narrowing of her eyes. 

“Ah,” Loki says wistfully, looking out to the horizon as if dreaming of such an event. “And then I’d finally be happy.”

Except, he wouldn’t. He only has to look at his older self to know that. The only one of himself that had beaten the one event that’s supposed to define their lives. He had tricked the mad titan himself, found himself a little corner of the universe to live out his life in peace. No more people he has to challenge, no more opportunities for betrayal - by him, or to him. 

And he looked… miserable. 

Now, though? Right here and now, he wasn’t miserable. He certainly wasn’t relaxed, that was for sure, but far from miserable. He had ended his little exclamation with a rare smile that wasn’t a smirk - or forced- and miraculously, Sylvie returned one just as wide as his; wide enough even for him to see the little laughter lines crinkling at the corner of her eyes.

“What about you?” Loki asks. “What will you do when this is all over?”

Sylvie takes a moment to think, tucking an unruly strand of hair away from her face. “I don’t know.”

He couldn’t even begin to try and put himself in her shoes. Sylvie had spent… hundreds, perhaps even a thousand years of her life just running. Surviving. Doing whatever it takes to make sure she wasn’t wiped off the board by some mystery figure, or group, that had deemed her too dangerous to the timeline. And for what? Some kind of sick desire to have control over every single living thing in every type of Universe to ever exist?

Which… which sounded an awful lot like himself, now he thought about it. Maybe whoever was in charge of the TVA was another variant of himself…

“I don’t know either,” Loki said, and that added to the tally of growing truths he was admitting to people - perhaps the most in his life. 

At some point, this all had to be over. Whether… whether it ends in his death once again, another defeat by a power-hungry being, or with their victory. No more TVA. No more pruning of variants. No more control. Sure, Sylvie had made that joke about him ruling a separate timeline, but… what would he do once this was all over, assuming her survives it? What did he want to do?

What does he want? 

‘Look at your eyes! You like her!’

‘What?’

‘You like her! Does she like you?’

‘Was she pruned-’

‘No wonder you have no clue what caused the Nexus Event on Lamentis; both of you are swooning over each other!’

‘Tell me the truth-’

‘It’s the apocalypse! Two Variants of the same being, especially you, forming this sick, twisted romantic relationship - that’s pure chaos! That could break reality, it’s breaking my reality right now! What an incredible, seismic narcissist - you fell for yourself!’

‘Her name was Sylvie’.

Mobius had truly tricked him there. At least now he knew how cruel it was to be on the other side of such a bluff, he supposed. He had always prided himself on his acting abilities, his innate way of lying to others. Yet, apparently, when it came to Sylvie… he puts his full emotions on display. He had become too overcome with emotions at the mere thought of Mobius telling the truth, that Sylvie was well and truly gone, and he had snapped. He was…

Yes… That was the word. 

He was heartbroken. 

‘You conniving, craven, pathetic worm. I hope you know you deserve to be alone and you always will be.’

‘Do you really think you deserve to be alone?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Well then you better figure it out quick, because the Nexus Event the two of you caused, whatever that connection is, can bring this whole place down.’

Maybe, just maybe… Mobius was onto something there. Maybe Sif, even in that small, once insignificant memory buried in his mind, was wrong. 

Maybe he didn’t deserve to be alone.

Maybe he didn’t have to be. 

“Maybe…” The words get caught in his throat, spoken softer than he intended to. He involuntary finds himself leaning closer to Sylvie, to the warmth radiating from her, trapped within the blanket wrapped around them. “Maybe we could figure it out... together.”

He had meant for it to come out more as a question, an offering. A possibility for the both of them. But what it really sounded like was a… well; a sincere, hope-filled attempt to keep hold of… this. Whatever this was, he knew he wanted it. However things went, he knew-

He wanted Sylvie in his life. 

His heart was racing in his chest, pounding almost as hard as it does in the midst of battle. In the unlikely event he’s a free man after all of this over, he’ll have to go and find his brother - if he’ll even talk to him, that is - and apologize for the harsh insult he used; for berating his older brother over his affection for that Earth woman. 

He understood now. 

He almost misses the slightest of reactions as Sylvie looks up to him - and what he knows is an earnest, vulnerable glaze in his eyes. It’s the smallest of things, almost impossible to see, but there’s a slight pull to the corner of her lips as she looks to him. Almost as if she was fighting back a smile at his proposition. 

“Maybe,” She whispers back to him, just as quiet and tender as his own words. It’s not a yes, not in the way his frantically racing heart was hoping to hear, but it was a start. It was Sylvie’s own returning of a proposition, her own olive branch. The possibility he had given that she was extending right back to him. 

Maybe. 

Maybe.

Maybe.

Yes… Maybe they’d survive this. Maybe he and Sylvie would bring down the tyrant who oversees ‘the sacred timeline’. Maybe he’ll find Mobius again, alive and well, having turned the entirety of the TVA’s workforce against the organization they devoted their lives to, and burn it to the ground. 

Maybe Sylvie will let him stay by her side. 

Maybe, he’ll carve that new path in his life - with Sylvie’s intertwined with his.

Maybe he’ll find that new Glorious Purpose.

Maybe he won’t be alone. 

Maybe he’ll be happy. 

Maybe…

You know what? He was starting to like that word. 

[imagine-loki]

Of Numbers and Strange Friendships

TITLE: Of Numbers and Strange Friendships CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 73/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki being friends with Peter Parker RATING: T

NOTES/WARNINGS: None so far.  Also on AO3 here

The Avengers spent the rest of the day on Asgard.  Thor’s friends gave them tours of the palace while the princes helped their mother get the court and realm back in order.  Peter stayed at Loki’s side, helping wherever he could.  He visited Asgard before, so he was at least a familiar face and he was so easygoing and happy and puppy-like that the people couldn’t help but be relaxed in his presence.  

It was a sharp contrast to the dark prince of Asgard who was at his side.  Loki’s magic was back now that he’d finally gotten a bit of rest.  It would take longer for him to fully recover, but no one besides Peter needed to know that.  He wore the air of the confident prince that he was, held himself regally.  He reassured the people as he spoke to them.  He didn’t have Thor’s boisterous exuberance or ability to befriend everyone in his presence.  That wasn’t the only way to rule.  Loki was the god of chaos and mischief, but he was also a prince and he took his duty and responsibility seriously.  The people had learned to respect him as they had finally learned that he had their best interest at heart.  He was wise in diplomacy and fair in judgments, for all that he was unyielding.

Even with his past, he was a pillar of stability for the people of Asgard.  In the chaos of Hela stealing Odin, Loki rode in the eye of the storm, in the middle of all that chaos.  He thrived in it, as it was part of his nature.  Peter looked awed at how easily Loki handled all of the chaos, how he steered it toward preparations for the feast naming Frigga as the sole ruler.  He was the eye of the storm and moved it to his will.

Loki chuckled at Peter’s expression of awe.  “I was raised a prince, Arachnid,” he reminded his blood brother.  “I learned from a young age how to rule,”

“But… everyone was running around with their heads cut off,” Peter protested, still in awe.  The chaos around them had turned productive, cleaning up the throne room, preparing for the feast.  It was an organized chaos.

Loki inclined his head.  “They were.  I am the god of chaos, among other things.  Which means I can turn the chaos around me to my will, which I did here.” Peter was used to seeing a more relaxed Loki, used to seeing him being casual.  He hadn’t been this formal and polite since they’d first met.  Peter knew that it was because Loki was home and was actively ruling and giving out directions.  He had to keep up appearances when the Asgardians needed him.  

Peter paused at that.  “Will… I become a god?” He asked, not quite grasping yet what being an Asgardian meant.  That was understandable.  It was all very new.  

Loki stopped walking since Peter had. “Perhaps,” he replied carefully.  “It will be years before that would happen.  It is a possibility if you have the power and the Norns believe you deserving,” 

“I don’t understand,” Peter admitted.  He didn’t like not knowing things and was always keen to acquire whatever knowledge he could get his hands on.  

Loki paused to consider how to explain in a way the arachnid would understand.  “I grew up learning magic and growing my powers and abilities,” he reminded Peter.  “I trained and studied for centuries before the Norns decided I was worthy of being a god.  Not all Asgardians are,” Loki wasn’t Asgardian by birth, but as a prince was most definitely an Asgardian citizen, so he could claim being an Asgardian instead of a Jotun. “Most who are determined to have the strength, skill, aptitude, or whatever other qualification that the Norns see fit to be a god receive their first godhood either in what you would call their teenage years, or by the time they come of age,” Loki explained.

“The Norns decide?” Peter asked, sounding awed again and interested in the possibility that he might be a god someday.  He still had a lot to learn about the culture he’d found himself a part of.

Loki chuckled.  “The Norns create and control fate, Arachnid, there’s a reason even literal gods worship them,” he replied fondly, adoring teaching Peter as he always did.  “Yes, it is up to them when a god receives their godhead and what it is.” Peter accepted that answer and clearly had a lot to think about.

*

Frigga officially took the throne in her own right.  There was a quick explanation that Odin had fallen to Helheim, though not a lot of details were given on how Odin had died.  The realm realized when the entire royal family refused to give information that it was better not to ask.  

There was a memorial for him, as tradition demanded.  It was far overshadowed by the feast in Frigga’s honor where food and ale flowed freely.  The celebration lasted all night and well into the morning.

It was a group of very drunk Avengers and exhausted Peter and Wanda who finally made their way to the Bifrost to return to Midgard.  There were worried people waiting for them and the crisis had been averted.  

It was time to go home and face Aunt May. 

[shiningloki]

Get On Your Knees And Pray To Me - Chapter 24

Get On Your Knees And Pray To Me - Chapter 24/?

(LOKI X READER)

When the Goddess of Sex dies, Odin is desperately searching for someone to fit her role. The lust and passion are disappearing from the realms and he needs a suitable replacement. Apparently, Loki is extremely interested.

After becoming the God of Sex, Loki hears you praying to him about how you want to lose your virginity. He's curious about you and decides he'd like to your answer your prayers in a bit more personal manner.

Loki comes to you, ravishes you, and when neither of you can resist the temptations of one another, you quickly enter into an intimate deal full of pleasure, lust, and your complete submission.

Start from Chapter 1

Previous Chapter

Fic Playlist

Master List

~ ~ ~

Chapter 24: The Bed Is Big Enough For All Of Us

Word Count: 9156

Summary: Last night’s whole ordeal with Gretchen has left a sour taste in your mouth. Loki, the ever-knowing Master, understands that he must show you how much he wants you in order to help ease your mind. He thinks he knows just the perfect way to do it, too.

NSFW, SMUT, DOMINANT LOKI, CLONE SEX, THREESOMES, ROUGH SEX, PURE AND UTTER FILTH!

Growing up, all Loki ever wanted was to be a god.

When he was a child, he knew that he would become one someday. His place on the pantheon was yet to be determined, but he knew a spot would be assigned to him on Yggdrasil soon enough. He waited and waited, anxious that one day he would wake up and the answer would be clear. Frigga would prepare the temple, Odin would arrange the ceremony, and the deed would be done.

It had happened to Thor just prior to it happening to Loki. The young blonde was a storm wherever he went. He had boisterous foot steps, loud appearances, and powerful presences. It was obvious, according to Odin at least, that the boy was destined to become the God of Thunder, Lightning, and Storms. It was the power he held that would make him perfect to be King - which, looking back, Loki now understood was ironic to assign the crown to one son when the other had yet to find his place. 

The ceremony for Thor was loud and exciting, and the entire time, Loki imagined what his own ceremony would be like. Thor had always taken an affinity to reds - maroon, crimson, burgundy - so it only made sense for the drapes and decorations to be dyed such a color. But for Loki, he could not see his color being so loud, so pronounced. His color, which had almost been decided completely by Frigga, would be green. She said it matched his eyes and dark hair, which Loki could agree to, since mothers know best, of course. 

After Thor’s ceremony, Loki was so determined to find out where he fit in life that he begged Frigga for advice. Her answer was to begin teaching Loki a sprinkling of magic to see if his destiny resided within the mystic arts. She was right, as she always was, and once Loki began learning the basics, he was keen on testing out what he learned outside of his classes. Unlike most magic users who would practice strictly what they learned, Loki was more interested in seeing what he could do with the spells. Due to his immaturity and youth, Loki often got those spells wrong, but they resulted in some mischief and chaos. When he took more to the chaos than he did to the classic teachings, it was determined that Loki was to be the God of Mischief.

From there, Loki made it his mission to become a strong, powerful, protective god. He was aware that mischief, lies, and foolery could cause him to become a segregated god, one that not many beings trusted. He would forever be known for his trickery and deceit, though that wasn’t all that made Loki up. He was passionate, creative, witty, charming, and of course, intelligent. As Loki grew older, he knew when it was appropriate to be chaotic and mischievous, deceptive and full of lies. But he also knew when to calm the fire, to put honesty first, and to put some fun aside for serious manners.

All in all, he did well. Better than anyone actually expected, really. Maybe that was one of the reasons why he was so motivated. Being an all-powerful god was Loki’s dream and he had achieved it.

But things were changing.

( CONTINUE READING HERE )

Fic requests are CLOSED! Be sure to check out my AO3 for more Tom Hiddleston and Loki angst, drama, fluff, romance, and smut!

Like what you see? Support me on ko-fi!

Want to be added to my tag list for “Get On Your Knees And Pray To Me”, for my one shots, or both? Send me a message, an ask, or leave a comment letting me know which list you want to be added to!

“Get On Your Knees And Pray To Me” Tag List: @lots-of-loki​ @hiddlesholic​ @procrastinatinglikeabitch​ @nancybenson​ @ladyblablabla​ @anagrom​ @heartforhiddles​ @frostbitten-written​ @nomadmilk​ @michellearel1​ @merrymaking88​  @toozmanykids​ @bellesque​ @allaboutloki​ @is-it-madness​ @memenerdlover​ @myraiswack​ @eli-vibes​ @fluffyfanficangel​ @cholcomb01​ @worshipping-skarsgard​ @dangertoozmanykids101​ @hanyasnape​ @hayden-going-insane @jessip1ier​ @lordofthenerds97​ @make-it-rien​ @siochan-leat​ @fixatedfandomhunter​ @davidbuddbg​ @readsalot73​ @caffiend-queen​ @imnotrevealingmyname​ @ciaodarknessmyheart​ @myblissfulparadise​ @0dakyu​ @tea4sykes @from-hel-i-with-love​ @sllooney​ @rorybutnotgilmore​ @arianoct​ @allaboutloki​ @cap-n-ce​ @moodymcu​ @bourbon-in-my-coffee​ @beanisintrovert​ @rogueheretic555​ @theimaginier​ @luna2034​ @whyispistashanuttaken​ @sifinskies​ @astheworlddturns​ @harold231 @rogerrhqpsody​ @harringtonb-blog​ @josieanmiller​ @gorgeous1974 @creator-appreciator​ @confessionsofastrugglingteen​ @ohdearhiddles​ @luna-viola-delmare​ @littletime67​ @bloooferladyy​ @theatrelove3000​ @vengrl​ @elisabethvanroseblood​ @cottoncandy1010​ @outlawangel2020​ @coastall-girll​

[hela-avenger]

poison & wine- part 13

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 1191

Summary: Prince Loki of Asgard is in need of a date to take back home. That’s where you come in with a task of your own to make the whole trip with an insufferable prince worth it. Too bad that things don’t always go as planned and you end up giving more than you can take. Fake-Dating AU.

A/N: A big reveal at the end! Thanks for reading everyone! Send me a message if you’ll like to be tagged!

You take a deep breath as you approach the large golden doors that belonged to Queen Frigga’s bedroom. You didn’t know why you were nervous. The queen had been nothing but nice to you which might actually be the source of your anxiety. As Loki was summoned by the king to be grilled of your new courtship, you had been summoned by the queen and you didn’t know how you were meant to lie to the kindest person you’ve met so far in Asgard. 

You raise your hand to knock but the doors are suddenly being opened causing you to instinctively take a step back. 

“Come in, come in,” you hear the queen call out from somewhere inside the room. “Don’t be shy.” 

With hesitation, you step inside and are once again startled as the doors shut behind you on their own. 

“Quite a simple spell,” Frigga explains as she finally appears from wherever she was hiding. She had a tray of tea which she set on the nearby coffee table. “Useful when trying to avoid certain guests.” 

“So it knows who to let in and not?” you ask in amazement. Frigga nods which only brings more questions. “How?” 

“Seidr,” Frigga answers as she motions for you to sit on the nearby couch. “In your terms, perhaps magic would be the better use. Nonetheless, seidr is a gift that not many Asgardians are born with. This magical energy is innate and can take on many shapes and forms but its essence derives from its owner. Hence, the spell on my doors acts on what I desire.” 

“Very interesting,” you smile as you glance at the doors once more. “Wish I could do that…” 

“I could teach you if you like,” Frigga offers. 

“Oh, I don’t have the ability so I…” 

“Yes, you do,” Frigga interrupts you kindly. “It's how I first realized that there was more to you that meets the eye. When I held your hand, I felt my seidr react to yours.” 

You tense at the slight mention of your lineage. It wasn’t easy to let your guard down when it came to that particular secret. You force yourself to relax knowing the queen meant no harm. 

“But I haven’t… I’ve never done anything magically.” 

“Well like I said, it manifests differently,” Frigga states. “Or perhaps because you’re quite young. You can’t be but a few centuries old, right?” 

You nod and Frigga hums in response. 

“Well, you should be coming into them, then. Especially with you being here in Asgard. Seidr can become stronger at the source of its origin,” Frigga briefly explains. “With my help, I can teach you how to harness it.” 

“If that’s the case, then yes,” you answer eagerly. “I’ll be very grateful for whatever you can teach me.” 

“Good, we’ll start with protection charms first,” Frigga states. “And then we’ll move to attack spells, but perhaps Loki can teach you those. I’m not as well adept when it comes to offensive magic as he is. Speaking of my son...” 

You can’t help but tense at the incoming subject and Frigga notices as she offers you a soft smile. 

“...I’ve heard he’s dragged you into one of his schemes.” 

“He told you?” you ask in surprise. 

“He mentioned he had a plan last night and I should have known he was speaking true when he said it would cause quite a stir,” Frigga chuckles out. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I would have put an end to it before it even began had I known what he intended to do.”

“It’s alright,” you shrug. “We made a deal and as long as he honors it then I have no complaints.” 

“A deal, you say?” 

“I mean, in return of my participation in this fake courtship, Loki is going to keep my secret and protect me if the need arises,” you explain. “He said that it wasn’t safe if word got out but he never really explained as to why.” 

“Sounds like Loki to leave things out in order for him to get his way,” Frigga sighs out. “But you do need to be protected and though his plan is albeit quite strange it does get the job done. Though selfish as it may be…” 

You try to make sense as to what she’s mumbling to herself but she snaps herself out of her train of thought.  

“Well, you deserve an explanation so allow me to give it to you, dear. You are not the first demigod Asgard has seen. In fact, there was an era quite some time ago when we had a quite good number of them.”

“And they lived here? In Asgard?” 

“They did and in great harmony,” Frigga answers. “Though, they didn’t live quite long. I mean, not as long as an Asgardian would but certainly longer than a human. It caused quite some trouble. Specifically for the Goddess Idunn.” 

“I’ve read about her,” you mention. “She’s the Goddess of Spring. She… She protects the apples of immortality.” 

“Yes, she did and still does,” Frigga explains. “Parents would demand for Idunn to give them an apple of immortality so their child could live alongside them. She refused. The apples are a delicacy and because the demand was too great and too high, she went into hiding. Her apples long gone. No one wished to have children with the mortals. The loss was too much.” 

“A parent is never meant to outlive their child,” you whisper. 

“Exactly,” Frigga states, shaking herself from the solemn mood that had settled between them. “But that’s not the reason your life may be in danger.” 

“Then what is?”

“It all has to do with the claims of inheritance,” Frigga explains. “Out of wedlock or not, you have every lawful right to state a claim of your family’s fortune.”

“But I didn’t come here with that intention,” you argue. “I could care less about it.” 

“I know, dear,” she answers. “But things can become quite violent especially in your case as not many have a high regard of Midgard. I wish this wasn’t the case, but I’m afraid it is.”

You try not to let this information get to you but it's inevitable. All you wanted was to find your father but you didn’t realize you signed yourself up for a potential bloodbath. 

“I wouldn’t let it worry you too much,” Frigga assures you. “It all depends on who your family is and the ties they may have to the royal court.” 

You can’t help but swallow nervously at the direction the conversation was turning to. You haven’t had a need to lie to the Queen but at this moment you craved to do so. But the truth had to come out eventually and why not with someone who’s been honest and kind with you from the start? 

“Then this may complicate things a little further,” you sigh out hesitantly. “Because I have no idea who my father could be.”

Frigga is rightfully surprised and you don’t blame her. You await for her response but someone beats her to it. 

“You don’t know who your father is?!”

poison & wine tag: @damalseer​ @just-the-hiddles​ @jessiejunebug​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @smollest-soybean​ @assassinoftheworld​ @readerbandit​ @doyoufeelikeayounggod​ @strangemcuvlogs​ @ha-tep​ @i-dont-know-eiither​ @gene-king​ @day-dreaming-fox​ @bn-studies​ @is-it-madness​ @sigyn-njorddottir​ @devilbat​ @victor-criss-bish​ @skinny-macncheese​ @musicconversedance​ @baby-bunnyxn​

Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas​ @thesilentbluesparrow​ @oddly-drawn-muse​ @josiehosiedaninja​ @hp-hogwartsexpress​ @sadwaywardkid​ @wolf-lover74​

All Works Tag: @jmb959​ @astudyoftimeywimeystuff​ @hellocookiecutter​ @steve-rogers-personal-hell​ @buckybarnesyard​ @not-zari-tak

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Dawn (2)

Loki x fem!Reader

ONE/TWO/THREE SHOT

Warnings: mention of past trauma and fluff.

Summary: A truce to end all wars leads to an alliance between Earth and Asgard in the form of Loki marrying a mortal. None of them what this. None except fate.

Word Count: sleep is nice. Water is super nice. music is dope nice. weather is siren-like nice. not being able to meet my dogs? not nice.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

"Is it really necessary to do this? All of this?"

"It's a custom created by the Allfather, your grace," answers the handmaiden that helps you into the soft gold of a dress that seems to be way too over the top for something as simple as breakfast.

"Your Allfather needs to get laid," you whisper loud enough for her to hear and turn red.

"I beg your pardon, your grace?"

You whine as you watch yourself in the gigantic mirror in the bathroom. "Nothing. Come on, let's go."

She picks up your clothes from last night and the bags that have your belongings from the earth. "Where are you going with those?"

She turns around and bows a little. "To clean them all up, your grace. The Prince said that they might have been sullied with the party they arrived."

"Loki?"

"No, your grace. Prince Thor."

"...okay? Anyway, where do you guys have lunch?"

"In the kitchen, your grace."

"Cool. I'll join you guys there."

"B-but your grace!"

"You don't have to end every sentence with your grace, Sybll. Okay?"

"...y-yes, your-"

"What?"

"...yes."

"Okay. See you later, Sybll."

You shut the door behind you, leaving the poor young handmaiden's heart pumping as she tries to make sense of what has happened.

"See you...your grace," she whispers in the empty room.

.

"Oh, no, thank you, dear," you blurt, bringing your hand up to avoid the servant from serving an entire lobster- at least that's what it looks like- to you, "no...no meat for me, please."

Odin seems to be taken aback a little by that request. And a smile is the only thing you can conjure up.

Where. The fuck. Is everyone else?

The large table feels a tad much for the two of you. Not mention the nausea you are feeling from overthinking about Odin's internal judgements about you.

"Is everything all right, Y/N?" Odin finally asks, the half-eaten berry resting in between his fingers and thumb.

"Yes, sir, I mean, your majesty," you stutter, feeling yourself punching in the gut for screwing the first words coming out of you in front of him.

"Do you not like to eat meat, then?"

No father-in-law, it's just that all meat comes out as vomit when I am nervous.

"I...have a sensitive stomach."

"Huh," is all he bothers to state before going back to his berry.

So all you have on your plate now is leaves and fruits sitting as the subject for an art session. 

"The gardens of the palace are beautiful, s-your majesty," you mention, remembering the flowers in full bloom you saw this morning.

"Ah, yes," he exclaims with a delight, "Frigga used to take great care of them. It is all of her hard work that blooms in those soils. Like it does in my sons."

You nod, taking a piece of watermelon and filling your mouth with it. "Mmhmm."

"You must think of me as some foolish old bastard for my way of doing things, like...like joining two worlds in a peace treaty through marriage, don't you, young lady?"

All you can do is gulp down the melon sitting unchewed in your mouth as you look at him with a blank expression.

"For an inexperienced mind like yours does not understand how crucial it is to stand united in the face of adversity."

You nod with your mouth full. "You're right. I don't. So, if you don't mind me asking, what was Frigga like?"

The lines on Odin's forehead change and he is back in time to some fond memory while he moves his food around his fingers. "Frigga was gentle as the first cool breeze that soothes you at the crack of the dawn, my dear. She was my rock. She kept Asgard running even when I was not there. That too while she had two young notorious sons to take care of." He chuckles silently and looks into some distant void, letting the sun reflect on the moisture at the edge of his eye. "She loved Loki like her own son. When the world saw a monster in him, she saw an innocent soul that needed the love and care of a mother. She taught him all the magic she knew. She had a way with him, with his mind that was always in a different direction than the rest of us. Whether she knew him or not, she did her best to make him a better version of himself."

"Would she have agreed to this truce?"

The words are out sooner than you realise and Odin is out of the trance he was a while back, the eye losing its hues.

"My sons will do what I say, woman. They are the pride of Asgard. The reflection of what expanded my kingdom and its peace stands for. And Frigga would have agreed with me. With whatever decision I took."

The words crawl over your shoulders like ants. Your nails are scraping the edges of the pie crust as silence seems to erode any feelings of respect between the two of you.

"I bet he is your reflection as well, Loki-" you stress on his name with a tilt of his head- "I bet he was your reflection that day too when he was a child and you told him he was no good as a warrior and he'd rather go hide in his mother's skirt."

The clatter of fork and knives stops. So does the breath of every servant present in the vicinity, discreetly looking at their Allfather for any reaction.

"He was your reflection when the boys from the streets teased him for being so weak for a Prince. And when he could not take the insult anymore, he used his magic to teach them proper manners. Hm?"

You pick up the chalice of wine kept for you, squeezing an orange into it before taking a generous sip. "He was also your reflection the day Thor was to be crowned king-" you smacked your lips, keeping the chalice down with a thud- "and the day he let the wormhole swallow him?"

The air is heavy. Heavier than any third person can take.

"You might be sitting in a seat of privilege, woman, but do not forget you are speaking to your king." His tone is soft but the intended weight with which they flow is not.

"Yes. I do realise my place, my king. I am but a mere human tied to a son you deem unworthy of serving any purpose to you. But here's the thing, your highness-" you look Odin in the eye, your face losing every feeling- "I am not Frigga, Gods rest her soul."

The napkin resting on your lap is crumpled in your hand before being left on the plate as you get up, dragging your chair back and turning around to collide with the servant coming with a pitcher of wine.

His apologies are cut short by you, assuring him it's no big deal before turning back to the Allfather. "It was a good talk, your majesty," you state with a full-blown bow.

"Oh and one more thing! Loki does not have some different brains that you cannot figure out. He just thinks seven steps ahead of everyone else. I found out through observation. And the one time we both had to escape being killed. You should try it sometimes too."

And with that declaration, you walk out of the hall, leaving a stunned silence with an audience and a King sitting with heartburn.

.

FUCK!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DOOOOO!!!!!

Your steps cannot match your heart rate at this point as you try to make your way back to Loki's room. And the constant flashbacks to the conversation you just had do not help. At all. If only the ground would crack open and swallow you right now.

You really need to keep your issues with controlling fathers in check, woman!

Well, TOO LATE! you yell back at your inner voice.

The corridors are a blur. So are the voices of people asking you if you're okay.

You didn't have to defend him like that.

You try to shove your inner voice away.

What do you even know about him?

You can finally see the door to your sanctuary, and your steps get faster than they already are.

What is Odin going to do to you now?

Opening the door, you throw yourself inside before shutting it back and letting the whimpers of weakened shallow breaths become audible.

"Okay, breathe. Breathe breathe breathe-" you take in a lungful- "yes, breathe."

Five times more and your heart finally finds a rhythm for your brain to function a bit better, bringing your attention to the wetness you feel on your stomach and realise you're still in the soiled dress with a huge blotch of wine stain colouring it in an ugly tone.

Undoing the knots around you, you walk to the bathroom to change into clean clothes and realise only when you are standing naked in there that all your clothes have been taken for a wash.

Perfect.

Your palms are rubbed hard against your face with frustrated groans before you catch a glimpse of the black fabric lying on top of one of Loki’s drawers; the one he wore last night.

Oh, screw it.

The cotton shirt slides over you with ease, flowing till your thighs, though the thin fabric barely covers much. With that taken care of, you walk over to the other drawers and cabinets to find anything else you can wear for the moment.

.

“Where were you two?!”

“Good to see you too, Sif,” Thor comments with a tone of sarcasm as a fuming Sif walks over to the brothers getting down from their horses.

“We went to inspect the new territories under Vanaheim. There was a little disturbance there last night,” Loki mentions as he twists and adjusts his shoulder with a muted grunt. No one notices for there are other pressing matters at hand.

“The Allfather is fuming because of your absence at breakfast today. Especially since-” she pauses to look at Loki and point out at him in general, which reasonably confuses both the brothers- “and on top of that things went downhill from here thanks to that woman.”

Now, this leads to the brothers to furrow their brows at Sif.

“Downhill how?” Thor asks.

“Spare no details,” Loki adds.

.

“This...is...hilarious.” Loki guffaws as he ends the sentence and this time Thor is the one to roll his eyes.

“It is still hard to believe Y/N would do something like this,” the blond states.

“Oh, Thor,” Loki purrs with a jump in his step, making his brother automatically uncomfortable, “it’s not that hard to believe once you realise she has lived the better part of her life with Stark. She has learned the snark from the best.”

“How do you even know what that word means?” Thor gasps in frustration. He opens his mouth to follow it up with a contradiction before pausing to run Loki’s words in his mind, hating the smirk building over his brother’s lips as realisation dawns on him.

“I need to talk to her about this-”

“WOAH! Woah! Easy brother,” Loki exclaims, stopping him with a hand on his chest, pausing the steps just outside the younger one’s room, “are you sure you want to do that?”

“What do you mean? Of course-”

“Thor-” Loki pats his brother’s chest as a gesture of patience- “first, talk to her only if you yourself have never defied your father.”

Thor looks at Loki with judgment-filled eyes, getting his brother’s index finger to wait and listen for more. “Second, talk to her with the thought that she barely has been here for a day and she has to spend the rest of her life here. Away from everything she knows.”

This, somehow, dilutes the smoke rising from the embers inside Thor. Loki isn’t wrong after all. “And third, don’t follow me inside. I am going to take a long shower.”

“Wha-”

“What? Sybll said Y/N told her she’ll join her for lunch in the kitchen. Now off you go,” he shoos his brother away with his hands before shutting his bedroom door behind him.

A chuckle leaves him involuntarily as he recalls Sif’s word by word description of how it all went down in the dining hall.

Good for her , he wonders, taking his armour off, there will be something to keep Odin and Thor occupied.

The arm plate stops short from landing on the table with a thud as a thought stirs in Loki’s mind, slowly invading his heart through the tiniest of veins. Letting the arm plate softly rest on the table, he lets his fingers grab the back of his doublet to remove it.

Why did she defend me in front of Odin?

The summer breeze from outside takes the first chance it gets to rub itself all over the naked chest and back of the God lost in a puzzle which isn’t that hard to solve once he has all the pieces.

Right. Forgot she had a mad father too. What was it that Stark said we were? Two kids with daddy issues.

Shaking his head, his fingers undo the first button on his pants when he hears a soft clunk from somewhere within the room. And the relaxed cat becomes the predator within a flash.

.

Why does he have so many greens and blacks?

The drawers and closets in front of all have nothing but those hues. Wait, is he colourblind?

Grunting and stomping your feet for not finding anything you could borrow from your ‘husband’s’ clothing, you close all that is opened and start to move towards the bedroom to call for Sybll for a change of clothes when faint voices are heard outside followed by a door being shut.

It takes a lot for your heart to jump in your mouth; and right now, that lot is Loki walking in the room with a smile, undoing his armour while looking at some invisible void in the distance.

Fuck!

You could not go out in front of him like this. In his nightshirt that was barely covering your assets.

Hiding behind the archway next to an Oakwood drawer, you take a peek at the God lost in some thought. There is a faint smile on his unexpectedly pink lips. What is he thinking? That thought runs away and hides in a corner as soon as it sees long pale fingers are pulling away the doublet from above his head to reveal a bod sculpted in some mountains of divine beauty not meant for the naked eye.

Your breath gets caught in the moment of revelation. Wasn't he supposed to be...frail? At least that's what you thought when you first saw him. But now that you think about it, anyone and everyone looks frail in front of Thor. But never in your life would you have thought that all that layer of clothing hid a figure like this.

You won a lottery, woman , your inner voice nudges and winks at you before it is pushed into a dark corner. Though I feel bad for him for getting stuck with you , it shouts as it fades into the darkness. The muscles on his back shift when he rolls his shoulders and you feel your insides shudder. Does Asgard realise what they're missing under all that leather? Is what you question till you see marks and bruises that seem old- healed but not so thoroughly. Hmm, everything with him has a reason, doesn't it?

Your daylight musing seems to crack as you realise- with his back to you- he is about to open his pants.

No matter how enticing it seems to the dark corners of your brain, you draw yourself back from the archway, colliding straight into a drawer. You IDIOT!!

Moving on your toes, silent as a cat, your steps go backwards, past the drawers and lux bathtubs towards the balcony while your eyes stay on the archway, waiting for your heart to stop any moment that Loki showed his face through it.

One step back and you are in the balcony, your feet feeling the cold stone under them while your back collides into something equally cold and rigid. And it does not raise all those tiny hairs on your body till you can feel that cold rise and fall rise in your back.

MOTHERF-

The siren voice of the night sings right into your ear.

"Looking for someone?"

[lokitrashfan]

ADDICTED

Warnings: A lot of Angst, death and suicide mentions, Sexual assault, addictions. Maybe a tiny bit of fluff if you squint your eyes.

Summary: Reader has a rough life, Loki hates you for your relationship with Frigga and tortures you. A spiral of drinking, sadness and depression until Loki saves you from a horrible man. 

Pairings: Loki x reader

Words: 2755

A/N: I had an idea about jealous Loki, but once I started writing it turned out super sad. I really want to know if you like it. If you see any grammar mistakes please tell me!!

Your mom was almost like Frigga's sister. They grew up together, raised by witches. When Frigga became Queen of Asgard, she wanted your mother by her side. She was her best friend. When your mother got pregnant the first person to know it was Frigga.  Even before your father knew it. 

Your father died fighting for Odin against the Jotuns before you were born. Actually you were born four months after Odin brought a baby to Asgard. 

Even with a new son to take care of, Frigga was with your mother when she gave birth. Your mother was scared as her health was fragile after giving birth, and Frigga offered her to move with you to the palace so she could have help raising you and the best healers in Asgard to attend her. 

Frigga became your godmother, she liked helping your mother, she helped her teaching you magic and manners. She also liked being around you as she always had wanted a girl, but she only had two little troublemakers. 

As you grew up, you continued learning with your mother, she was a good teacher, but she became more and more fragile, so you started learning alongside the princes. 

Thor was always happy to see you, he was friendly and knew his mother loved you dearly, so he was very kind to you. Loki on the other side was horribly jealous of you and the attention you received from Frigga. He thought that you had no right to be with his mother. 

You were intelligent and liked reading and learning. Astronomy was your favourite. The only thing you were falling behind was in magic. Your mother wasn’t in good shape to teach you anymore. She had given you the basics, now you had to learn and improve by yourself. Practise and books.

Days before you celebrated your thirteen birthday, your mother died. From that day you became angrier. You were angry for losing your mother, for her health problems… You were angry to Odin and his battles, to the healers that hadn’t helped your mother enough, to Thor for being too friendly and happy, and to Loki for being an idiot to you and always degrading you. 

The only one you felt comfortable with was Frigga. She was the only one that seemed to understand your sorrow. She became like a mother to you. Not just because she was responsible of you, now that your family was gone, but also because she took care of your education. Scolding you when you misbehaved or didn’t attend to class. 

She tried to teach you magic, but Loki could not tolerate it. So she counted on you learning by yourself. 

Centuries passed and you became more and more distanced from Frigga. In front of her you were a perfect young Lady, studious, intelligent, educated, and strong. But tryed to be as far as you could from her.

At 15, you were invited to your first royal ball. Frigga got you a beautiful yellow dress. It was her dress, and she had it tailored for you. It was a beautiful long silk dress. It flowed around you every time you moved. 

At the ball, Frigga told you that you had become a beautiful young woman, and that your mother would be very proud of you. That made you feel embarrassed, knowing how you were trying to distance yourself from her.

The palace was full of people you didn't know, it was a little bit suffocating as you were almost always alone. After the feast you escaped and went to the library before going to your chambers. 

Loki was there as he wasn’t a fan of balls, either. 

“Souldn’t you be with the nobles, trying to win their favours?” he said, you couldn’t tell if that was really what he thought or if he just wanted to insult you.

“Loki… I’m not in the mood for your insults” You were tired and a bit sad, thinking of all the things your mother missed about your life. 

“That is my mothers’ dress. You steal now too?” He was being a jerk and he knew it. 

“She gifted it to me. She thinks it is suitable for a young lady” That would hurt him. He was really jealous of his mother thinking you were perfect. 

“Maybe she said that, but on you it doesn’t look good. Young lady… sure, more like young whore. Maybe if you move your ass enough you can find some stupid noble to pay for your services and then you can stop using my mother.” He was really angry. Some other day you would just ignore it, but today he went too far. You loved Frigga too and it angered you that he said that you were using her.

“You are just jealous that your mother finds in me better that you could never be. It’s you who doesn’t deserve to be her son.” That was a low hit and you knew it, but maybe it was what he needed to leave you alone. 

“Sorry for you” he said, enraged “She is only sorry for you. Even your mother would be ashamed of what you have became. She should have aborted, then she would still be alive. You were the end of her”.

That was too much. It was cruel and he knew it. He had respect for your mother and would never insult her, but this was all about you being not enough for anybody. Those words made you leave the library without thinking it twice. A fire had been roaring on your inside since your mother died, but now it was burning you from inside. It was consuming. You felt pain in your heart. You knew that Loki only said those things to hurt you and make you angry, but this time he went too far. He said exactly what you had been thinking for years. 

From that moment the fire never exhausted. It was always burning, making you feel worthless. You entered a spiral of sorrow and pain.

The words Loki said that night became burned in your brain for years. The only relieve you found was when you were intoxicated. And you started drinking a lot. 

Thor and you distanced after your first ball, he was too happy and optimistic for you. Loki seemed to regret what he said to you for a moment, but then he saw how distant you and Frigga had became that he didn’t say a word. 

Years passed and you went from a intelligent young lady to a hot mess. You hid everything wrong to Frigga, even if she could tell something was wrong with you, she didn’t know everything that passed through your mind. You stoped talking to her, only talking when needed.

At 25 you were a total mess. You drank too much alone in your room. Everynight. At royal balls you had too many drinks. You went to parties and flirted with everybody just to feel a little loved. 

You were depressed and suicidal. The only reason you hadn’t killed yourself yet was fear. You weren’t brave enough to end your life. And that made you feel even worse.

Tonight you had been invited to another royal ball. Frigga still wanted to take care of you. And wanted you to be part of her world. Now that you had grown up you looked just like your mother, and she wasn’t ready to let you go. 

You found the invitation in your chambers next to a beautiful deep green dress. She had wrote the invitation herself. She really wanted you there. You hadn’t went to the last five parties she had invited you. But this time you would attend. Something inside you didn’t want to disappoint Frigga again.

The dress fit you perfectly. The satin reflected the light beautifully. It had gold chains in the back that dropped at different levels. It was backless so it accentuated your curves. You put your hair in soft waves, and finished your makeup with bold red lips. 

The ball was full of people, all nobles, a lot from different realms. You wanted to stay sober tonight, but it was hard. There was alcohol everywhere. 

“Y/N!” Thor said approaching you. “It’s been a long time since the last time you came to a ball” He seemed genuinely happy that you were there. He was with Lady Sif and Volstagg. 

“I felt like socialising today” you said jokingly.

“I’m happy you are here. You have to try the mead, it is delicious” He offered me a cup from a nearby table. 

You just smiled and took the cup from his hand. He continued talking to his friends trying to include you, but you didn’t even listen to him. Five minutes after you walked away.  You still had the mead, so you took a sip, it couldn’t hurt. 

After three more cups you started to feel tipsy. You tried to get as far as you could from the alcohol.

Frigga looked at you from the other side of the room, she was happy that you had appeared and that you looked sober. She knew about your drinking problem, but keep it secret while trying to keep the alcohol as far of you as she could. You saw her staring at you and she smiled. It felt good to see her like this. Loki saw it and his jealousy came again. 

The next thing you saw was him coming to you.

“Beautiful dress” He said “My mother really wanted you here” He was different, something about the way he talked to you. He was more gentle. “She really loves you. Just try to not hurt her”. In that moment you realised he knew something.  Frigga had told him your secret. 

“Thank you Loki. I would never do anything to hurt or disappoint your mother. She is always really kind with me” You felt weird. You and Loki had never had a cordial talk like this. 

You walked away and felt his eyes on you.

What you didn’t know is that Frigga had asked Loki to keep an eye on you for the evening. 

Hours passed and you drank two cups of wine. You were halfway to being drunk. You really tried but it was difficult. 

You felt a looking you. You had never seen him before. The way he looked to you creeped you out. You moved and his eyes followed you. He came directly towards you and put his hand in your ass. 

“I didn’t know whores could come to the balls” He said to your ear. “You can come with me to the garden and suck my dick.” He grabbed my ass and tried to kiss me. 

“Get off, I not a whore you idiot”.

“Don’t you talk to me like this whore”. He was angry and clearly drunk. He grabbed my arm and tried to drag me outside. He was stronger than me and in a moment we were outside. He was hurting me. 

He grabbed my dress and and tried to pull it off. “Come on bitch, I don’t like waiting”

He broke the dress exposing my breasts. I tried to get away but he was stronger. I was scared of what he was going to do with me. 

Suddenly somebody grabbed him and threw him to the floor. The man dragged me with him. you were in shock. Loki punched him two times and left him bleeding on the floor before carrying me inside. 

He carried me carefully to his room. Tears were running down my face as I realised what had just happened. I was holding the dress to keep myself covered, but it was totally destroyed. Loki lent me some of his clothes to change in. He seemed really angry. My knees were bleeding a little from the fall, but what hurt me was thinking that I deserved it. I acted like a whore and now somebody thought I was one. 

I cried as Loki took care of my knees. 

“I’m sorry, I deserved it” I said in between sobs. 

“No, you didn’t” He said “You didn’t deserve anything of what happened to you” He was angry. Really angry. “This is my fault, Frigga asked me to take care of you months ago and I failed her.” 

“What?” you were full of questions with no answer.

“Y/N, I’m really sorry for what I said years ago. I was jealous of your relationship with my mother. You were the daughter she never had. I was angry and took it on you” he was sad and angry. “I was stupid and reckless. And I feel like this is my fault. You started drinking after that night”

“It was not your fault, you just said out loud what I had been thinking for years, and you were right. I’m not enough for Frigga, I was not enough for my mother. it is my fault that she is dead. I should have never been born. I’m not even brave enough to kill myself”

You had never been so sincere to anybody ever. But right now you were at your lowest point, you didn’t care anymore. You just wanted to get it off your chest. 

“Y/N… How long had you been feeling like this? You need help.” He looked really worried. But maybe it was only because of Frigga. “I could help you… If you want of course. I know that I have been horrible to you, but since you stopped talking to me, I started to regret every word I had ever said to you. I even missed you. I missed seeing you around. I saw you only from the distance, I saw how you were hurting, and I could have helped you, but I wasn’t worthy of your time. How could I look you in the eyes when I had been so mean? Now I can only beg for forgiveness.” 

You saw in his eyes that he was really sorry. The way he spoke reminded you of Frigga. And you couldn’t say no to that eyes. He looked so innocent. How could you be mad if he had just saved you?

“Loki… I- I’m not mad at you… I’m mad at myself. I failed everyone.” Tears were falling of your eyes. He held your hands softly. You started to shake. “I just wanted to be better, but failed. My family is dead because of me.”

He hugged you tightly. He held you close until you calmed. You were in his bed and before you knew it you were falling asleep. He covered you with a blanked and left your side.

“No.. please, I don’t want to be alone” You reached for him. You just wanted to someone to hold you. 

“Okay, I’ll stay with you for as long as you want. I will stay by your side and protect you. I will help you to get better. I promise” He kissed the top of your head. 

“I thought you hated me, I thought you could not see me…”

“I never really hated you, I was just jealous as I said before. Four years ago I discovered myself longing for you, but still ashamed of my behaviour with you. I have feelings for you. I don’t know what it is, but I feel something… When I saw that man attacking you I lost my mind. I felt responsible, I should have been with you. I should have been better for you”

“Loki… I don’t know what to say, I’m so confused.” 

“Don’t say anything, just sleep. I will be here in the morning, I promise”

You closed your eyes and thought of what had happened, the man attacking you, Loki saving you, taking care of you and confessing he felt something for you. The way he treated you tonight made you think that maybe he was a different man. He was attractive too, you could not deny it. But you didn’t know if you were ready to feel something for him, or for anyone really. You were fucked up. 

“I will be there love, I will be your friend if you want.” He was talking to you thinking you were totally asleep “I will wait for you until you are ready. I will always love you”

That night you slept better than ever.

[lokikingofasgardslover713]

Best Laid Plans of Gods & Shield Maidens

Masterlist

Loki Laufeyson Masterlist

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson X Plus Size Reader OFC

Warnings: Smut, self-loathing, bullies

Summary: After years of chasing after the reader, Loki finally gets his chance to show her how he truly feels. Though it takes a masquerade for the reader to understand just how much he has longed after her and only her when he could have anyone in the 9 realms.

Request: @lovesmesomehiddles​: Can you do a plus size reader x Loki (set in Asgard) where he is head over heels in love with reader, but she doesn’t understand why when he could have his pick of any woman and in order to show her how he feels about her and it leads to smut?

A/N: Look it! I got a request! I believe I would call this an AU where Thor did take the throne and Loki has become his advisor. Frigga, Odin and the readers mother have all passed.

Words: +4,700

————

Y/N was young for an Aesir, one Loki had found himself following with fleeting glances the more she grew into a woman. The girl had wonderful magical talent, one even his mother took into account, taking the young girl under her wing to teach, meaning Loki got to know her well, and that was more than he could have hoped for. 

Her mother was an event planner of sorts for Frigga, and inevitably Loki knew it meant the young woman would follow in her mother’s footsteps, seeing as they knew little of who her father was. Rough and tumble for even an Aesir woman, Loki found it a trait he couldn’t dismiss, especially when she put Thor on his ass more times than any could count.

Loki considered her his shield maiden. There had been numerous times the moment she came of age the dark prince invited her to attend the extravagant balls and feasts her mother helped put together. Each time she declined only to hide in the chamber on the opposite side of the palace she and her mother occupied.

It wasn't her mother preventing her from attending, he truly didn’t understand it until he happened to overhear a conversation between several other attendees. It was very hurtful and had he not been specifically ordered to behave or face the whip; Loki would have removed their tongues himself.

It seemed his shield maiden, though appearing confident was very shy, a bit of an outcast such as himself due to her shyness and being favored by the royal family. The jealousy that came from the others made his hair stand on end, having left the festivities that night to wait out the ball with Y/N, practicing seidr.

This did and did not make since all the same. Frigga doted on the girl, more so than he or Thor who were more than accomplished warriors, centuries old while she was a few decades. 

Was this the talk his shield maiden endured when the two of them weren’t walking the gardens? Was this why he found her in her mother's chambers when she wasn’t with him and he made an excuse to deliver things that any servants could have?

Short of confessing to her in the open, which Loki swore he had done numerous times and even spoken to her mother on the subject; it still appeared she lacked the confidence to allow him to court her. 

Yes, he could force her to do so, but that wasn't the way he wanted. It was a crude way of thinking, one that would do more than ruin the beautiful, confident woman she had become. The very one he was watching direct the servants in how this feast was to be prepared, and the room decorated.

Stopping at her side, Loki knew she sensed him there. Skillfully she directed a servant while holding out a hand for him to place whatever he had brought her this time. 

Y/N was no fool, she could sense his care for her, but she didn't understand why he picked her over the others. Thick frame covered in the garb of a man because she despised dresses. A cool hand wrapping hers made her jolt and spin on the god as he tugged the calloused hand to place a kiss over the knuckles.

Letting out a quiet yelp, she met Loki’s gaze. "My prince," she breathed, knowing formalities were in order as they were in public.

"Loki, always Loki to you love," he whispered across the soft flesh, allowing  her the hand back, stepping closer to watch the servants hang gold, ebony, evergreen, and burgundy tapestries from the ceiling. It seemed Thor wanted a masquerade for the arrival of the royalty of Alfheim.

Clearing her throat she tried to push it to the side. "Did Thor tell you his plans for this one," she hummed looking to Loki who still watched her close, her cheeks beginning to warm.

"Aye, it appears his majesty has come up with something crafty, though I have a feeling his wife may have her hand in it as well," Loki chuckled. "It's very elaborate if I do say so myself."

"It is," she smiled back at the god before looking away.

The idea behind the masquerade was each man or woman, would be assigned an animal with their invitation. That in turn meant their lover, or whomever they chose to attend with them were to be gifted a similar mask along with matching clothing. Honestly it sounded like a match maker scheme since most of the invitations she had sent out personally were mostly single men, and women.

"Have you received a parcel yet," Loki asked, of course she hadn't, it was still locked safely in his chambers. The god gave a sly smile, noting her slight look of shock that she would receive anything.

"Me? No, of course not," she laughed, it had been a thing she had put out of her mind.

"Don't sale yourself short love, it would be an honor for anyone who chose you as their guest, you are a very wonderful creature," Loki spoke knowingly, placing his hands behind his back to watch the decorating along with her.

"Hmm. Someone desperate then," she hushed under her breath, watching the servants closely, but felt a chill as Loki took in a sharp breath; a thing he normally done when he was about to let someone have a piece of his mind.

"I will not endure you speaking of yourself in such a way," Loki snapped, not meaning it as he did, but now that he was in a position to assure no one spoke ill of her, he felt she shouldn’t take up the mantle herself.

Turning slightly, she eyed Loki close, what was said under her breath wasn’t meant for him to hear but it made her fluster and feel the need to take up for herself.

"Then tell me why you," she began calmly but with authority, taking Loki off guard, "the crowned prince of Asgard, and royal council to the Alfather Thor have an interest in a subject such as myself when you have numerous others who would be better suited to serve you as a lover? I'm nothing but an arranger for the courts elaborate festivities, I would bring no honor to yourself or the crown."

Taken aback, Loki was silenced for the first time in a long time. Damn tradition damn the powers that be for deeming how royalty and non-royals were to interact. 

"You think I care for honor," Loki began calmly, kindly actually, as he moved with her the instant she began to step away as if heading towards the kitchens. "As long as you have known me, you know factually that in no way would I do anything to hurt or to degrade you. I care too much for the woman you have become. Tradition, fate, all be damned. As long as you are by my side, none of that matters to me."

That was a bit of a shock, making her pause in the corridor, both moving out of the way as others passed busy with work. Stepping into the columns with Loki, still not sure how to approach the subject of the god forsaking fate and tradition for her.

"You can’t forsake all for me. I'm-," she began not backing down as he tugged her out of the way of a cart and into his body.

"Anyone worth their salt would know what a pleasure it would be for you to be by their side for the rest of their lives,” Loki admitted, wrapping an arm carefully around her torso to pull flush. “You forget; I myself am nothing more than a bastard child spawned by giants with no claim, no reason to be kept here or given the position I am."

Keeping Loki’s gaze, hands clenching at her side, wanting so badly to touch him as her chest ached. She desired to wrap her arms around him, hug him close and not let go but all her brain could do was cobble words together in a weak excuse to push way and hurry towards the kitchens.

Stepping out of shadow, Loki looked after his maiden as she hurried down the corridor. Quickly he spun on his heel, needing to assure her gift was ready to be sent, she should receive it and several others when reaching her chambers for the night. She would know who it was from obviously; as if the present confession wasn’t a giveaway.

Stepping into her outer chambers, Y/N was relieved Loki had left her alone for the rest of the evening. Moving into the bedroom, using seidr to call for light only to freeze at the sight of an elegantly wrapped parcel on her bed. 

Approaching it slowly, she treated it as if it was a poisonous animal and stared at it for Norn’s knew how long before finally tugging the leather string. Smoothly the soft outer fabric fell away to reveal a beautifully crafted dress that didn’t appear too flamboyant and a wolf mask laying atop it all.

Only one man, god, was to wear the wolf mask, same was with Thor who was the only to wear a golden eagle mask along with Jane. A note tucked under the mask caught her eye and carefully she tugged it out.

‘Please,’ was all the note stated as she carefully took the mask in her hands to run fingers over the midnight black fur, buttery soft and glittering like stars in the night sky. Teeth made of moonstone glittered as she looked down to note the jewelry that was to go with the set up. 

The only jewelry she owned was that of her mother and what pieces Frigga had gifted her. Using sider she lifted the garments and other things as she called forth a form her size to appear at the edge of her bed, everything laying on it as it would her.

The neckline was low but still kept an elegant since of decency but as she circled to the back, oh gods it was very revealing. It was open back, gold chains holding it closed with emerald accents and appearing it stopped at the small of her back. 

Taking a deep breath she moved to the front once more, eyeing the elegant jewelry and mask. The dress, though a glittering black twinkled with green highlights and beautiful light golden knot work appearing to be inlaid with seidr. Knowing Loki it was. 

Looking over the necklace, running wolves carved from emerald encircled the entire neck with matching earrings, but the wolves there were woven into a knot like circle. 

Taking a deep breath she honestly couldn’t think about this. She needed a bath and rest. Leaving the dress on the form, she stepped into a candle lit bath, one already drawn in the marble tub with steam rising from it and the edge lined with expensive oils and soaps.

The sparkle of a note caught her eye on a chair near the tub, the one she placed her robe and night clothes on. Taking a deep breath to step towards the chair and immediately note this wasn’t her old clothing; these were new, elegant, soft things. Feeling the fabric as she took the note to look over the beautifully scrawled writing.

Simply stated it read; ‘Consider it love.’ 

The next morning she didn’t take a second look at the dress until that evening when retreating to her rooms.

Time grew near, visitors arrived, and Y/N found herself, reluctantly readying for the masquerade. Looking at the dress, the thought sprang to mind there was no way she could do this. Having not gotten the chance to speak with Loki all day, let alone the few glances she was able to catch from him did little to calm wracked nerves.

The princess of Alfheim appeared to hem Loki up every chance she had gotten, and every time Loki did manage to get close to Y/N he was drug away. There was no doubt in her mind the princess was getting on his nerves, knowing Loki despised the attention the elven princess was giving. 

“It’s easy love-,” came the calmness of Loki, lithe fingers running over her clothed forearms and making her jump slightly but continued to glare the at the dress. “Put on the dress and join me in the dining hall, I assured they served your favorites as well.”

“You’re supposed to be entertaining delegates,” she spoke looking back to note this was a well-placed illusion. 

“I am. Regardless; you should come to the masquerade love. Please,” he spoke quietly giving her arms a reassuring squeeze before he was gone. 

Trying to calm her nerves, she looked at the mask on the mannequin, no one would notice her. It was simple, put the garb on, go appease the dark prince and never speak of this again. 

“Where is your shield maiden brother,” Thor asked Loki silently as they sat at the head table, the chair Loki’s guest was to sit in empty. 

The two were in their garb, Loki the wolf and Thor the eagle, except for Thor had his matching counterpart next to him. Jane smiling under her own mask every time Thor moved to place a hand on her thigh.

“She’s coming,” Loki spoke up looking to the entrance. 

“She’s a very shy creature, but she is more than worthy wouldn’t you agree,” Thor spoke. The two looking up as the visiting elven Kings daughter, Jastera, dressed in an elegant white peacock mask and matching gown, stepped to the table eyeing Loki like prey but they all knew that was the wrong move. 

“Would your highness care to join me at my father’s table? I would enjoy your company,” Jastera began eyeing Loki seductively. 

By the Norns, not this. Preparing to decline the request, the princess having hung on him all day, Loki wasn’t sure he could take much more of the put-on preening to his character. 

There was as an announcement of one entering, the god looking from the princess to the door where one of the guard escorted his shield maiden to the table. The wolf mask she wore matching his only it was slenderer than his own. 

“Excuse me,” Loki spoke quickly, getting to his feet to escort his guest to the chair next to him, the princess in the white peacock mask remaining, albeit begrudgingly.  

Stoically, the princess eyed Y/N as Loki helped her to seat before taking his own. “I am the crowned princess Jastera of Alfheim, realm of the light elves," the white-haired woman spoke, eyeing the gods guest closely through her mask.

Norns, this elf couldn't be serious. Having taken the seat Loki had showed her, she was relieved when the god sat brusquely next to her, clearing his throat to lay a hand gently on her glittering knee.

Calling her name, Loki began to list her title as such, "royal shield maiden and seidr master to Frigga Freyadottir, my personal confidant and member of the royal family," Loki finished quickly and stoically, eyeing the other through his own wolf mask. 

"Forgive me, I meant no ill will to a student of Frigga herself," Jastera was quick to remedy.

"Be sure to remember that, I will not have my shield maiden insulted," Loki spoke sternly receiving a look from Thor but it appeared the king shared in the sentiment.

Once Jastera left in a hurry, Loki turned to his guest, taking her hand to bring to his lips as he had the day before kissing the lightly scented flesh. "A dance love," he echoed, meeting her gaze, watching a blush creep over her chest to under the mask.

"Yes," she choked out as Loki carefully tugged her to nervous feet and out to the center of the room with Thor and Jane.

Taking their places, the music had begun as Loki tugged her close and kept all focus on her as they moved about the floor. "Your beautiful love, it suits you," he spoke, carefully guiding her over the floor.

She was clumsy by nature and couldn’t fathom why she wasn't tripping over their feet but the slight twinkle in Loki’s eye told her he may have something to do with it. "You're a wolfish creature Loki," she whispered with a smile, knowing he knew what she spoke of.

"Yes love, but it would appear I am your wolfish creature," he hummed, carefully guiding her to the music.

"Hmm, appears so," she hummed, for once enjoying the revelry instead of being locked in her chambers.

As the night wore on, guests began to retire, leaving the rowdy crowd that had drank too much. Thankfully she drank very little, turning to Loki as he guided her around the room on his arm proudly, to speak to him of turning in for the night.

"I have another surprise for you," the god purred, the two still downing the masks. Gracefully Loki led her out of the banquet hall and through the dark, quiet corridors to his own chambers. 

"My chambers are that way," she smiled, but he only shook his head and hinted to his own.

"I believe you will like what I have planned. Neither of us got to partake of the feast," Loki admitted, guiding her through his outer chambers. Steeping into his bedroom, past the darkened bed to a well-lit balcony that held a small table with food waiting for them.

"I'm flattered Loki, but this dress doesn't feel as if it will allow-," she began, taking masks and clothes in a whisper of seidr. In moments she was covered in his robe, a light shift underneath while clothing himself in lose lounge clothes.

"Better love," he asked, taking a seat and tugging her across his lap unexpectedly.

"Loki," she yelped, careful of placing her entire weight on him but he was quick to scold her gently to think she could hurt him. Gingerly she settled into him for seidr to pull the table close. 

"Allow me love," he hummed, reaching for a meat pastry to lift to her lips.

"I'm a pet now," she questioned, Loki smirking at her boldness, but still taking a bite.

"More than that. Do me the honor of allowing me to court you," he spoke, sitting the pastry down and turning her to face him slightly.

"I would advise against it, but I believe you have been courting me since the day I turned sixteen; if we are honest on the matter," she admitted, smiling as he cupped her cheek gently, thumb brushing the crumbs and oil from her lip.

"It appears so love. It was then I spoke with your mother; she did give her blessing," he hummed, looking her over with a growing smile.

"I know. She and I spoke of it often, so did Frigga and my mother before they both passed-," she admitted, swallowing the lump at the thoughts of their mother's death but calmed in seconds.

"I know love. They would both be very proud of you," he smiled as she relaxed into him, the food forgotten. Sliding to the seat, her legs in his lap, Loki leaned close, pressing his lips to hers, tasting the faint remnants of the pastry and the mead both had partaken of.

Carefully her hand laced into his hair, the gods freehand tugging at the string on her robe, pausing as it feel open to pull away and meet her gaze. "Is this what you want," Loki asked quietly, watching her suck her bottom lip between her teeth, the image making his manhood twitch.

"Yes. I have denied us long enough; that is if you will have me," she smiled, knowing what his answer was, emerald orbs sparkling with the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Yes, my shield maiden, a thousand times yes," he whispered, gathering the thick framed woman into his arms to hastily carry towards the bed.

The room now lit by a low light to illuminate the massive bed surrounded in candles. The mattress was covered in lush blankets and furs, the god holding her close to shuffle across them on his knees to the center. Gently settling back on his heels, Loki moved the woman to straddle his hips, an arm under plump buttocks and the other around her torso, drinking in the open robe.

"I don't want to take you like a beast love. I want to enjoy us," he whispered, carefully laying her back for the robe to fall away in a wisp of seidr, leaving her in the thin shift.

The same seidr that took the robe took his shirt, only leaving his pants which did little to hide his excitement at having her in his bed. Closely Loki watched her every move, running his hands along smooth, plump thighs to gently ruck the shift slightly above clothed core.

Only continuing at her nod, this time Loki didn’t stop until the light fabric was tugged over her head and instinctually her hands went to cover bare breast.

Bowing over his shield maiden, Loki spoke across her lips, "I want to see all of you lover, please,” he hushed, lips pressing to hers greedily. In moments it broke for Loki to pepper kisses along trembling jaw, to soft throat, nipping the pebbled flesh.

With a breathy moan, her arms unraveled, hands reaching to Loki, placing one on his neck, for the other to caress the taught flesh of his side. More kisses peppered down plump body, over fleshy belly for calloused fingers to loop into sheer panties, tugging at them for her to lift plump hips for them to be discarded.

Another kiss, this time to the top of ready slit, making her gasp out. Never had she thought it would come to this, the god, the very dark prince between her legs, kissing the most intimates parts of her. Releasing him to prop on her elbows to watch, tugging bottom lip between her teeth as Loki didn't hesitate to kiss over delicate nub before suckling at it.

“Norns,” she all but screamed out, trying to keep herself propped with one hand while the other reached to lace in his hair, scratching the scalp. Never had she had this attention, a lap and suckle making her moan out and buck involuntary, whimpering for more.

Letting out a chuckle Loki paused to look at her ecstasy clouded face. "Found your sweet spot have I,” he hummed, making aching core clench around nothing. Drinking in the panting wreck she had become, a blush creeped up her pebbled chest and neck. “Relax and allow me to attend to my princess.” 

Delving between delicate folds, Loki prodded at wet core with his tongue before sweeping back up to attend to delicate bundle of nerves. The overwhelming pleasure had her falling back to the mattress, the hand in his hair tugging slightly to earn a gasp as Loki pressed first one, then another digit into wet center while lapping over delicate nerve.

He gave another chuckle at her desperate whimpers and quiet prayers muttered to him. Fingers curled beautifully to caress the perfect spot inside her while keeping attention on needy nerve. She tasted more delicious than he could have ever imagined, and in moments he felt her clench around his fingers before she cried out her release.

It had only taken moments for Loki to bring her first orgasm crashing down on her, thighs shaking as fingers wrapped in his hair and the others in the furs. Even better than the ones she had given herself, shivering at the loss of his digits but relishing in how tenderly Loki kissed over shivering flesh to her lips. The taste of herself on his made her shiver harder and crave him more.

The feel of the god situating between splayed legs, deepening the kiss for a moment while free, erect manhood prodded between wet folds had her grinding down on him, begging. "Please,” she whimpered, not having to beg long before Loki sank painfully slow into tight core.

Loki had to pause, hovering over her, anchoring next to her head with one hand while the other caressed along her jaw. "Norns lover," he breathed, careful he wasn’t hurting her, it left Loki curious to if he was her first.

Reaching up a shaky hand to place to the nape of his neck, Loki was taking time pressing into her, his care a turn on in itself. Slowly she moved her hips, Loki teasing as he would pull away only to sink deeper with each pass; it may have been mere centimeters each time, but it felt more than that.

Carefully her free hand drifted along the arm anchored next to her, feeling muscles twitch. She had toys, but none like him, Norn’s none like he! Loki was a god, all god, pushing the breath out of her lungs as he fully sheathed himself inside of tight core.

The burn and stretch overwhelming as he stilled, bowing to kiss over her flush chest. Letting out whimpering pleas for him to move, Loki did so, ecstasy flooding her body as he rocked his hips against hers.

Lips kissed along her jaw as thrust deepened, becoming desperate as she felt him swell within her, lips falling to hers and calloused hand slipping to her nape of her neck. The god grunted down her throat, tongue slipping past her lips to tangle with hers and swallow the whimper the hard thrust caused.

The air around then filled with sounds of flesh and desperate pants as Loki refused to allow her lips from his. He had waited so long for her, to feel her like this, to worship her, he didn’t want to release her just yet. Feeling lightheaded, he barely broke it, the two of them taking in gasping breath as he thrust harder, making her cry out.

Quietly, passionately, Loki whispered prayers to her across swollen lips, her tongue darting out to soothe the tender flesh as he thrust deeper into her. Desperately Loki begged her to cum, felt her clench around his girth while using seidr to dance over delicate nerve to give the final push as he spilled deep inside her.

All she was allowed was a muffled whimper the moment they feel from the edge, the hand on the nape of his neck and wrapped around his bicep clawed as her sight blacked for an instant. Panting, she drank in his praises, feeling his sweaty forehead laying between her neck and shoulder, lips pressing to the pebbled flesh there.

Keeping his weight off of her, Loki carefully slid spent man hood free, arousal coating the sheets as he remained over her. “My princess," he hummed, rolling them to their sides, her body going limp as he brushed fuzzed hair out of her eyes.

Giving Loki a lopsided smile, she relished in the feel of him caring for her, the hand brushing once elegantly styled hair away gliding along plump side to tug her thigh over his hip. "My prince," she panted tiredly, leaning close and enjoying the chaste kiss he gave.

“Stay here love, in my bed, share my chambers,” he spoke gently, hand on her thigh rubbing the soft flesh, causing it to pebble at the raw emotion he was showing.

“For how long,” she hummed, pulling closer, the tickle of the furs making her shutter but in a good way.

“Till the end of time, if I may use such a worn-out phrase,” he smirked, showing the young god who had attempted to court her all those years ago.

“Hmm, why not,” she hummed, leaning in for a kiss and getting more than she bargained for.

Wrapping a hand around the nape of her neck once more, Loki pressed her back into the mattress, the kiss needy and full of passion. Finally breaking it to allow her to breath, noting her drunken look.

“So loving, you truly have desired me after all this time,” she stated, moving closer while Loki slipped a thick fur over them.

“You will never know just how much lover,” he hummed, pulling close to pepper her with kisses and settle in for a few moments before carrying her to the baths.

Tags are open and Reblogs always welcomed!

Tags:   @marshyrebelcloud​ @cruel-kitten​  @moonfaery​ @dark-night-sky-99​ @gramaeryebard​  @katstablook​ @andiyholly​ @jovanna-shewolf​ @nickyl316h​ @aslandia726​ @furstinnajoelle​ @itsbqueenthings​ @collinsstanharbour​ @jazzieomega​ @bambamwolf87​ @tomhardy41​ @drakonwild​ @scorpionchild81​ @devilbat​ @wayward-student-philosopher​ @blah6666​ @jane-777​ @the-minus-four​​ @cherrygeek86​  @iamverity​ @get-loki​ @alexakeyloveloki​ @moonlightprime​

[anavantgardener]

Frost and Mischief Ch. 1

Summary: The first chapter in a Loki Laufeyson (MCU) fanfic. Elska’s introduction to the world of Asgard.

Pairing: OC x Loki

Warnings: death, prejudice

Word Count: 3,437

*****

A Deal of Sorts

Odin never wanted Elska; the girl was half Frost Giant. Jotun blood, despicable. He saw her as just another conniving Devourer. He would have thought a Valkyrie would have chosen a more suitable man to fall in love with. Surely any Asgardian would have been better.

Elska's parents met on the battlefield during the war over Jotunheim many, many centuries ago. A Frost Giant and a Valkyrie, two beings that could not be more different. A lawless scoundrel and a Disir spirit of protection. Purely because he saw a gleam in her eyes, Elska's father saved her mother from a dagger through the heart. When he was struck with an arrow to the shoulder, she helped him to a cave, where they called for Heimdal to open the Bifrost. Miraculously, the all-seeing man complied and got them to safety, hiding them in the attic of a servant's house in the lower district of Asgard. He saw the change their future would bring.

Years later, after they had birthed a beautiful stormy-eyed baby girl, they were discovered. It was not long after that someone slipped them a potion meant to rot them from the inside out. Soon, the smell seeped through the walls of the attic. The servants sent word to the palace and Odin himself came to investigate, along with his wife, who wouldn't stay put even if he ordered her to.

The little girl, barely old enough to walk, sobbed in between her parents' blackened bodies. Curly auburn hair, tangled and matted, reached to her collar bones. Big, pale gray eyes stared into Frigga's as she knelt down, attempting to soothe the little one.

Frigga calmed the girl enough to convince her to tell them her name. Elska. Love. A sweet rarity, this little one.

Once Frigga showed her the slightest kindness, Elska latched her hand to hers, holding tight. Odin told his wife not to get too attached, he would be banishing the child back to Jotunheim as soon as he was able, but Frigga bid him otherwise. Take the child in, raise her as an Asgardian. Teach her their ways, their customs and traditions.

Odin complied, making a deal of sorts with Frigga; the child could stay in Asgard as long as she was a servant to the palace. She would wait on the royal family hand and foot. She would know her place, from now to the day she died.

Knowing this was her only chance, Frigga agreed with her husband. The goddess had some tricks up her sleeve, and she knew Elska was meant for something so much more.

-----

"Elska, you will be late for the palace, you will," Eira called from the kitchen.

"I am coming, Eira," Elska replied, irritation present in her tone. The servant girl took one last look at herself in the mirror, willing herself to take on the Frost Giant for half a second. The icy blue tinge to her skin was there and gone within the blink of an eye.

"Elska!" Eira called again.

"Let a girl strap her sandals, will you?" Elska huffed, bending down to pick up her shoes.

Eira giggled at her friend, always cranky in the mornings. She prepared some bread and honey for her to eat on her way into the palace. It wasn't much, but it would keep her pleasant until the next meal.

Elska walked briskly through the doorway to the kitchen, grabbing the bundle of food from Eira.

"Thank you, I promise I will be home in time to cook dinner tonight," the girl promised her housemate. She had an unfortunate habit of dawdling on her returns from the palace.

The girls bid each other farewell and Elska started her early morning walk through the various districts of Asgard. Taking small bites of her breakfast, she watched as people milled about, preparing for the day's activities. As she did every morning, Elska wondered what sort of lives these people led, what complexities scattered across their lifetime. Were they family oriented? Did their time revolve around their position in the Realm Eternal?

This people watching continued until Elska arrived at the palace. Tucking the cloth used to wrap her bread into a pocket of her servant's apron, she straightened up before entering the grand double doors that led to the main hall. She stepped lightly as to avoid disturbing anyone she passed. Soon enough, she reached one of the maintenance chambers where she grabbed a cloth and a broom.

The path to the Royal Library was burned into Elska's memories, for she had been beginning her mornings by tidying that room for quite some time now. She considered herself lucky, being responsible for the care of the All-Father's family and favorite rooms. He made it clear from very early on it was meant to be a slap in the face, a point about her heinous parentage, but she didn't care. Working in the palace gave her special access to rooms most couldn't even dream of seeing.

Elska had been sneaking books from the Royal Library since she was a child. Using them to aid in her education of magic, sneaking around only became easier and easier. Stealing herbs and potions from the healing chambers had saved numerous servants she lived with in her dwelling.

Food was never something she had to worry about, though; the cooks and other palace staff had taken a liking to Elska. Many of them lived in the lower district as well, so they had watched her grow into the young woman she was today. She wove stories of adventure and terror and sorrow, all finishing with a happy ending. She entertained with her magic, and used it to help clean up sometimes when she finished her own chores early. Her homemade healing balms had helped a number of people in the lower district.

Elska arrived at the Royal Library in a short matter of minutes. Pushing the door open, she glanced around the vast room. Her eyes landed on the young Prince Loki, only mere decades older than herself.

"Good morning, my Prince," she curtsied, as was custom upon greeting royalty. The prince nodded, acknowledging her so she could continue with her duties.

Prince Loki was seemingly the only one to ever use the Royal Library (other than herself, of course). Cleaning the room was always quick. Wipe the tables, return any books that may have been left out. There was one desk that she never touched, though, and that was the prince's.

Research papers and books with marked pages scattered across Prince Loki's desk; Elska dare not touch one small thing. She had made that mistake once and he nearly had her head for it. Since then, they have had a cordial greeting every morning... A sort of "don't bother me, I won't bother you" agreement.

She quietly walked about the room, straightening up the desks, organizing the books that likely hadn't been touched in centuries.

The books Prince Loki did allow her to move and return, he always set on the desk adjacent to his. As Elska began shelving them, one title piqued her interest.

"The Magic of Telepathy," the binding read.

Well, Elska thought to herself. How nifty. She suppressed a smirk, making a mental note of where the book was shelved. She'd be returning for it later tonight.

-----

The day felt like it was dragging by; it was only midday and Elska was struggling to stay focused. There was no reason for this inability to concentrate, she was just bored with her chores. When one does the same thing every single day, what else can you expect of them. It's quite close to the definition of insanity.

Servants and palace staff were always provided a midday meal of bread, cheese, and a few assorted slices of meat, along with a cup of tea. After picking up her meal, Elska went to sit with a few of the other servants.

Taking her seat, she was met with various head nods and greetings.

"Everybody doing well today?" she asked the group. Many were too distracted by their meal to answer, but a couple looked up: Vidarr, a young boy with bushy hair and copper eyes, and Ingemar, a blue-eyed woman about Elska's age, maybe a little older.

"Just fine, delightful even!" Vidarr beamed.

"What has you so giddy this afternoon, little one?" Ingemar giggled at the boy.

"The healers gave me a sweet for tidying the potion bottles so well," he replied. "And mother told me this morning father earned the money to buy all the ingredients for a cake!"

"My, that is grand news indeed, isn't it," Elska encouragingly nudged Vidarr.

The three continued on with their meal, chatting about their morning walk to the palace and the latest rumors that were spreading through the servants. Eventually, some of the others began chiming in.

"I did hear that the merchant district is dealing with some thievery," Nidhoggr, one of the older servants mentioned.

"Thievery is quite common in the merchant district, though, is it not?" Ingemar asked.

"Yes, but not like this," Nidhoggr put his bread down. "Petty theft of fruits and loaves of bread, a dress or a shirt every now and then, yes, but this is weapon theft. Like someone's building an army within Asgard. One separate from the All-father's army."

Glances of concern were being exchanged when Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three, Fandral, Hogun, and Volstag, came in with Prince Thor, Prince Loki following close behind. The servants and staff took this as their cue to clean up and ready the main hall for the midday feast prepared for the noble and royal Asgardians each day.

"We must be quite early," Prince Thor's booming voice filled the room, echoing. "The servants have not even finished their meal."

As the plates were being cleared of their remnants, Elska caught the eyes of Lady Sif, who gave her an apologetic look. The servants hadn't much food at home, and here they were, tossing out what they were given at the palace.

Elska gave her a reassuring nod; all was well, the servants would be okay. This was not an unusual happening for them. Guards and warriors quite often came in before the servants and staff were finished with their meal, and they were not so kind about being kept waiting.

Plates were cleaned off and new dish settings were placed. An assortment of meal options were set out in the centers of each table, fruit scattered throughout. To top it all off, cakes and other sweets were added to the immense pile of food. Finally, the servants and staff parted ways and went to their next respective job.

For Elska, it was her favorite part of the day: tidying up Queen Frigga's personal study. Oftentimes, the queen was in her study while Elska cleaned, and the two would have such interesting, pleasant conversations.

Elska had always been fond of the queen. Without her, she would probably be long dead. She was the very reason Odin agreed to let her stay in Asgard. Queen Frigga was always offering her tips on magic (Elska suspected she knew of her frequent book borrowing) and even shared her potion recipes with her. The first time Elska ever created a successful illusion of herself, it had been through encouragement from the queen in her study.

As Elska progressed in her studies, their conversations extended into lore and history of the Nine Realms. The stories that built this wonderful realm were quite beautifully epic. The way it came to be, the Tree of Life, the Apples of Idunn that keep the people of the Realm Eternal alive for millennia upon millennia.

In all probability, Elska most likely knew more of Asgard than most Asgardians did.

Perhaps it was not the conversation that caused the servant girl to appreciate Queen Frigga so, but that the queen seemed to treat her as an equal. As someone with worth, someone to be really seen and loved for who they were. Queen Frigga listened to Elska, and in many ways, the young woman saw her as a mother.

-----

Today, Queen Frigga came into her study halfway through Elska's cleaning. A smile came to both women's faces upon seeing each other.

"Elska, my dear, how are you today?" the queen placed both hands on Elska's face, looking into her eyes as if they would answer for the girl.

"I am most well, my queen," Elska grinned. "And yourself, my queen? How do you fare this afternoon?"

"Very well indeed," she moved to sit in her reading chair. "Now, where were we?"

"I believe we were just getting into the history of Jotunheim," Elska's eyes fell to the floor, knowing this was her own heritage, a heritage that most Asgardians despised.

"Now, my dear, you most certainly have nothing to be ashamed of," the queen said, bidding the girl to sit in a chair across from her. "All realms have committed crimes. All realms have begun wars. Does that mean we should be held accountable for the sins of our ancestors? I think not. We can only learn from them, and that is what we are here doing, are we not."

Elska's eyes met the queen's, and any tension she felt melted away.

"We are, my queen," she replied.

"Now then," the queen smiled and continued. "Jotunheim, the world of giants. Jotunheim is also known as Utgard, which means?"

"Beyond the fence," Elska reached into her mind.

"Yes, referencing the concept inangard, inside the fence, and utangard," Queen Frigga stated matter-of-factly. "That which resides inside the fence is good, law-abiding, civil. That which lies beyond the fence is chaotic, evil, untamed."

The two spent the next hour or so delving into the beginnings of Jotunheim, and the ways the Tree of Life stretches through the realm. Elska heard of things she already knew, like eternal winter of the realm. She also learned new concepts, like the effects of Jotunheim on Midgard, which was situated between Asgard and Jotunheim. As such, the middle realms experienced effects of the other two realms, unbeknownst to Midgardians.

"I should finish my cleaning, my queen," Elska said, noticing the sundial by the window. She was already ten minutes late cleaning Odin's study.

"Of course, my dear," the queen stood and straightened out her deep purple gown. "We shall continue tomorrow."

The two bid each other a good rest of the evening before parting.

Elska continued her work, organizing quills, papers, books. She picked up a couple tea cups and saucers before heading to the kitchen to drop them off. Leaving the study, she started the walk across the palace, keeping her pace quick as to not be any later than she already was.

-----

"Running late, are we?" the All-father didn't even glance up as Elska entered the room.

"My sincere apologies, All-father," she said, curtsying. "I became caught up with the queen and lost track of time."

"Do not blame my wife for your shortcomings," his tone was curt.

"Yes, my lord," Elska bit her tongue and got to work. How fitting that her favorite part of the day should be followed by her least favorite.

No matter how quickly she worked, her time in King Odin's study never failed to trudge by. The man never left the study, especially not when a girl with Jotun blood was in it.

Oh yes, Elska thought to herself. I would definitely wreck the study, seeing as I am the volatile one in this situation. She often wondered if he would ever see the prejudice ingrained into his own thought process.

On this evening, King Odin seemed especially irritable; crumpled papers scattered the ground around his desk, and his knuckles had gone snow white from his grip on the arms of his chair.

"My lord," she said softly. "Might I fetch you some tea for your stresses?"

"I am king of the Nine Realms, child," he snapped. "I know how to deal with my stresses on my own." He sneered as he spat the last bit.

Child. You would not refer to your own youngest son as a child, and yet he is barely older than myself.

"Of course, my lord," she said, head down. "My sincere apologies."

She continued cleaning the paper wads off the ground when the All-father cleared his throat.

"My lord?" she stood.

"Some tea would be nice," King Odin said, still refusing to look at Elska.

Curtsying, she took her leave, feeling the unease leave her body as she stepped into the hall. It was like a breath of fresh air.

"Feeling crushed by the overwhelming presence of my father?" Prince Loki was suddenly standing next to Elska, startling her.

"My prince!" she caught her breath. "I was not aware you were here."

"The palace is my home," he had a slight smirk. "As such, I am here quite often."

"Yes, my prince, of course," Elska curtsied before beginning her walk towards the kitchens. Prince Loki stood outside King Odin's study for a second before catching up to the young woman.

"He can be quite overbearing sometimes," he said, looking straight ahead. Was the prince trying to comfort her?

"I can assure you, I do not know what you mean," she said, lest she be caught in an act of disrespect. The youngest prince was known for trickery, and she refused to fall into a trap.

"Ah, yes, of course you don't," he said with a crooked grin. "I believe you do, but we can go with this. For now."

"The All-father is stressed, I simply offered to bring him some tea," was the prince always this fascinated with what the servants thought of his father?

"I shall accompany you to the kitchens, then," Prince Loki said, matching pace with her.

"This is quite unusual for you, my prince," Elska dared to sneak a glance at him. He was quite handsome, with dark hair, piercing green eyes, a striking jaw line.

Her glance, however, did not go unnoticed.

"I am making my way that way, anyway," he looked over to her. "And I rather think you are enjoying the company."

"One would be wise to enjoy the company of all," Elska grit her teeth, choosing to be polite and regretting her admiration of the prince's features. "It ensures we do not make too many enemies."

"Was that a warning, dear Elska?" he was toying with her now.

Always games with this one, she thought to herself.

"Not intentionally, my prince," she gave a cordial smile. "Such a thing would be considered vastly rude, I should say."

"And you could never find it in you to be rude," Prince Loki jokingly scoffed.

"But of course not," she smirked.

"Because stealing books from the Royal Library would not fall under the category of rude things to do," the prince returns his eyes to the hall in front of them as Elska's jaw dropped.

Stopped in her tracks, Prince Loki turned to face her, an eyebrow raised, hands behind his back. He had a look of expectation on his face.

"My dear prince," she nearly spat the words in his face as she marched up to him. "Not all of us have the same luxuries as royalty. Some of us can't afford books or education, let alone food or proper clothing. These are not things I would expect you to understand. As such, I will not bother to explain something to you that you will be utterly unable to fathom."

The prince's face fell, and Elska immediately regretted her words. It was not that she was afraid of the prince, but was afraid she might lose her position at the palace, or worse, in Asgard.

"My prince, you must forgive me for my outburst-" she began, but was interrupted.

"No, my lady, I am sorry," and with that, Prince Loki walked off in the other direction.

-----

Elska was quite preoccupied throughout the remainder of her day, feeling a mix of confusion as to why the prince spoke to her and fear as to what his accusation (correct accusation) could lead to. Perhaps nothing would come of it, but now the god of mischief had information that could destroy what little reputation she had spent the past almost millennia building.

On this night, she decided against going back for the book.

During her walk home that night, her thoughts were too distracting for her to realize that it was snowing in Asgard. Needless to say, she made it home in time to make dinner.

[skydiving-without-a-parachute]

Stars, Guide Me Home

Pairing: Frostiron (Tony x Loki) | Word count: 3096 words | Genre: SO. MUCH. ANGST., fluff if you really comb through it all | Warnings: Suicide attempt, self-loathing

A/N: This doesn’t exactly follow the time line or happenings. Thor: The Dark World has happened until the point where Loki and Thor joined forces. He didn’t die nor even get out of prison, he has found his way out some other way. Irondad and Spiderson are a thing. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Loki and Thor were young, Frigga used to tell them stories. Mainly stories of fierce warriors, dragons and violence, but sometimes even romantic stories, such as the story of soulmates. The older and more naïve brother often claimed, that soulmates were real, but Loki never believed such lies. He was the God of Lies, he knew one when he heard one. Frigga was exceptionally good at lying, but lying nonetheless. Loki had never belonged anywhere, so how could he have belonged to anyone? Who could have ever loved a creature like him? He didn't have a home in Jotunheim - he was a midget compared to real Frost Giants, and had been left alone to die, when Odin found him. But Asgard wasn't his home either - Odin had taken him with him to make his own son, Thor Odinson, shine brighter among his disappointment of a half brother, and to use him to establish peace with the Jotuns. Frigga - bless her heart - had taken Loki under her wing, taught him her magic and hoped it would help him find him some sun for himself, find a way to escape from underneath the shadows Odin and Thor cast over him. But after all, Frigga was not his mother, and Loki was not her son. He was a trophy of Odin's, nothing more.

The mirror shattered, as Loki's fist came in contact with it with force. Burning hot tears streamed down Loki's blue cheeks, and he looked up to see his crimson eyes in the mirror, disfigured by cracks along its surface. He was a monster. Asgardians were taught to fear Jotuns, they were the enemy. Loki was the enemy. He often found himself wishing, that Odin would have never found him, that he had been left on that rock to die. After all, his birth right was to die. Odin had said so himself. And after Thanos, after New York... Who was he to rightfully be alive? Loki had thought countless times about taking his life. He couldn't seem to find a quantum of happiness anywhere. Life had left its markings on him; First the Jotun markings on his blue Jotun form, given to him before birth, then broken bones and scars from fighting Thor as a child and losing, and then... Torture. He could still remember it vividly, like it had just happened. He could feel his skin burning up, his lungs aching from screams of pain Thanos had drawn from him. He could no longer withstand the slightest of touch on his bare skin, even the breath of a wind reminded him of the pain he had endured and woke fright and pain inside him. More burning tears fell from Loki's eyes and his lower lip trembled. If Odin had seen him now, he surely would have done the job for Loki and killed him himself. What a weak little prince he was.

And then there was Frigga's death. The only real ally he had ever known, taken from him much too soon. And he hadn't even been allowed to attend the funeral. He had been locked in the prisons of Asgard like an animal, like a senseless savage. Loki closed his eyes and took a deep breath, slowly changing back into himself. With soaked green eyes and a still trembling lip, he accessed his memories, and pulled up moments he had shared with his mother alone in the gardens of Asgard. He watched Frigga smile at him and patiently teach him a new magic trick. She radiated warmth and calmness, and for a moment it held him in its comfort. Until his memories disappeared into the back of his brain, as did the comfort looking at a happy Frigga had provided. Loki had never known how Frigga could have loved a monstrous, adopted child like she had, and never would he know such love again. Thanos had confirmed all the thoughts he had had along the years; He wasn't Laufey's son and he sure as hell wasn't Odin's son, he wasn't an equal brother of Thor's, he wasn't an equal son of Frigga's, he... He was nothing but an abandoned, scared little boy, lost in the Nine Realms, belonging to none of them. A coldness took over Loki's chest again, a coldness so freezing, he turned blue again. For once, his appearance matched how he felt inside.

He had been pardoned for his actions in New York, but on one condition: He would join the Avengers. If he refused or even did a sloppy job as an Avenger, he would be imprisoned for life or possibly even executed for his crimes. So Loki had joined, but not to avoid execution; To avoid rotting away in a prison for thousands of years. He had joined the Avengers to die. As collateral damage or sacrificing himself, it didn't matter... Dying was all that mattered. Sadly he had been doing a somewhat good job with the Avengers and the team always rescued him when he was in the line of fire without defending himself. They often asked, if he had a death wish, but none of them actually thought, he wanted to die. Everyone assumed he was being a dramatic little bitch and rebelling against having to join them. Not once did they think anything near the thought, that nobody infact could hate Loki more than he hated himself. Nobody wanted him dead like he did.

Loki kneeled down on of the Stark Tower's balconies, as a beautiful, ornamental dagger materialized in his hand. The handle was gold and emerald with spiraling patterns, the sharp, even blade glistening in the moonlight. He kept his armour on - he may have been a disgrace, but never would he die in anything but his armour -, and gently laid his golden helmet beside him. This was not a ceremony or a battle, this was nothing glorious enough for him to be wearing his helmet. She gleamed, the light dancing on her bendy horns. Loki laid a hand on the forehead of the helmet, closing his eyes. "You have served me well, stood with me in many battles, many a man's blood have I cleansed off you", he spoke softly. There was something about his helmet, that he had grown attached to. It was just an object, but a very dear object. With a sigh, he lifted his hand off the helmet and focused on his dagger. He took the handle with his both hands and lifted his gaze upwards. The reason he was doing this here, outside, instead of his room in the Tower, was so he could see the stars. He wanted the night sky to be the last thing he saw on Midgard. With a deep breath, he plunged the dagger into his own abdomen.

Air escaped Loki's lungs with a whine, his large hands gripped the handle so tight his knuckles turned snow white, and his form bent forward over the dagger. Pain spread out through his body for a moment, before the shock kicked in and Loki no longer felt physical pain. The shock allowed him to open his eyes again, which he only now noticed he had shut tightly at some point. He watched the blurry stars with tears in his eyes, not hearing the glass door slide open behind him. "Loki?! What have you done?!" came a concerned voice out of nowhere. Loki closed his eyes again and took a moment to recognize the voice. "Leave me, Stark", he asked - no, begged -, but Tony only came closed. He gasped and took a step back in terror, when he saw the handle of a dagger glistening in Loki's hands and the thick, dark red blood running down his armour. Hot, salty tears rose in Tony's eyes as he threw himself on his knees right beside Loki, loosening his grip of the dagger, to see the wound better. "Oh my God, Loki... What have you done?" Tony's voice sounded only desperate anymore, as he brought his other hand to caress Loki's pale cheek. "Loki, don't go. Don't leave me. There's some much I need to tell you, Loki. Hey, Reindeer Games, stay with me. Loki? Loki! Loki, stay with me. I love you."

The first rays of sunshine woke Tony up. He had dozed off sitting by the window no more than an hour ago, after spending the entire night watching Loki. It was the second morning after Loki's... Incident, and Tony was not letting him be unguarded for a minute. The rest of the Avengers were still clueless. He hadn't left Loki's room or told the team, not even Thor, and he had locked the door to Loki's room. The only one who knew was Stephen, as Tony had called him in panic to help Loki. He didn't want anyone to know yet, he didn't want everyone fussing over Loki and making the Asgardian feel small. Loki always thought nobody loved him or even saw him, but Tony knew him like the back of his hand. He just never got around to telling the God, that he was the first thing Tony saw, when he walked into a room, and just how much he loved what he saw. And now he might never have to opportunity to tell him. "We can only wait, Stark. The damage was not that bad, the blade went straight in and stayed unmoved, but considering the circumstances... Loki might not come back, if he does not wish to", Stephen had told him. "What the fuck does that mean? That he might just take off into some heavenly light or something, because he was desparate and tried to kill himself, clearly not in his right mind?" Tony had screamed at Stephen, not out of anger towards him, but out of pure worry for Loki. "Or because you don't want him to wake up, because he's the villain?"

Loki looked so beautiful despite everything. His head laid on two pillows, cased in white, his raven locks spread out, framing his sculpted face and sharp features. Dark brows were slightly furrowed and one corner of the mouth was in a slight grimace; Loki was medicated, but clearly in heavy discomfort and possibly even pain. If he had just been able to relax, he would have been the most angelic thing Tony had even seen. He stood up off the stool by the window, and walked over to Loki's bed. Morning light caressed his prominent cheek bones, his long lashes and his curled hair. Stephen and Tony had undressed Loki for surgery, but Tony had put Loki's forest green henley shirt back on him after he had been bandaged up by Stephen. With the buttons opens and one side folded over, it revealed one of Loki's collar bones. Tony's gaze fell from Loki's sharp jawline down to his beautiful neck and all the way down to his revealed collar bone. It was so visible and beautiful, he almost wanted to kiss it. Loki rarely showed any skin, but Tony had dreamt about what kind of a body was hidden underneath the heavy armour. He would have bet his entire fortune on Loki having a beautiful body he would have loved to explore with his hands, his tongue, his lips, his eyes... He ached for Loki to let him love him. The Asgardian was without a doubt a broken soul, and Tony wanted nothing on this Earth like he wanted to heal Loki.

Waiting for Loki to wake up gave Tony a lot of time to think. He thought about his feelings, about finding Loki on the balcony when he had been on his way to the kitchen for a 2 A.M. snack, and about accidentally telling him that he loved him when he was begging Loki to stay with him. Tony wondered, if Loki was even gonna remember it, or if he would have forgotten about it, due to shock or due to not sharing the feelings Tony had. Mainly he thought about the first time he had met Loki. Fury had showed up with some S.H.I.E.L.D Agents at the Stark Tower, the Agents surrounding a chained Loki. "Honestly, you didn't seem to mind the chains", Tony let out a little laugh. Humour had always been a coping mechanism for him. If he laughed, then things weren't so bad. The Agents had unchained him at Fury's command, and he had shot some snarky remarks their way, as they did. Tony had not been very impressed with the bad guy joining the Avengers; He would surely be nothing but trouble, and would discredit the Avengers eventually. Such thing never happened, though. Loki's intelligence, magic and capabilities with daggers came quite handy during combat, and even though someone always had to rescue the dumbass wizard, when he didn't realize he was getting himself killed, he made for a pretty good Avenger. That's when it hit Tony. Loki had always known, that he was getting himself killed. He had always known when the enemy had locked him as a target and did not fight it, because that was what he wanted. He wanted to die. The realization shook Tony to his core and sent the coldest thrills down his spine. Loki had wanted to die all along.

"Why do you look like someone died?" A hoarse voice snapped Tony out of his thoughts. "Loki!" he exclaimed and locked a warm embrace around Loki, tears streaming to his cheeks. "You piece of shit, you almost died!" "And yet, somehow I am still alive", the Asgardian replied with a sarcastic tone, but now Tony was wise enough to hear, that the sarcastic tone was only a front - deep down Loki was actually disappointed to still be alive -, so he just hugged Loki tighter and sobbed a little. "Loki, why the hell would you do that?" he asked, when he finally took a seat in the chair next to Loki's bed, still holding the God's hand in his. "Why does anyone take their own life?" "Are you really that miserable with us?" "With-, no, Anthony. This is not about the Avengers", Loki replied and tried to shake his head, but the motion was enough to make him let out a whimper. "Why are you even here?" Loki's question made Tony think, that he had forgotten all about his confession of love. He looked down and wondered, what to tell Loki. "What is it about, if not us?" he asked quietly, looking at the white sheets of Loki's elevated bed. "Personal, Anthony", the God gave a short answer, not wanting to share with the man in iron. "Talk to me. If it's not about the Avengers, what is it? I know something about this stuff, Loki, I've been on a self-destructive path. Keeping it to yourself will not help you", Tony tried to convince Loki to talk, keeping his voice soft and steady, even when inside he felt desperate and wanted to cry. "Mortals", the God huffed and rolled his eyes. "It's about me, alright? You fools think you hate me with all your hearts, but none of you can even begin to imagine the hatred I feel for myself", Loki spat out the words like venom, sounding almost angered. "We don't hate you, Loki. The team is starting to see you as one of us, and Thor loves you. Peter loves you. Yeah, Loki, that kid's crazy about you. He always wants to hang out with you, he thinks you're so cool and kinda scary and he just wants you to teach him your ways", Tony's eyes brighten up, when he talks about Peter, who's become practically Tony's son by now. "He's always shushing everyone, if someone tries to claim you're too dangerous for him to mess with."

Tony came down from his excitement only to realize that there's now sadness in Loki's green eyes. "What is it? Was it something I said?" he became instantly worried. "I'm too dangerous for Peter. I'm too dangerous for anyone. I'm a monster and I should be treated as one", Loki answered, turning his face away from Tony, but he gently grabbed Loki's chin and turned him to face him. "Loki, Peter loves you. You're not the bad guy." "I've always been unwanted, Stark, why would I suddenly be wanted? The Jotuns didn't want me, Asgard didn't want me, and Midgard definitely doesn't want me." "You were mind-controlled", Tony defended him. "Because I am weak. It would never had happened to Thor", he replied, exposing his broken soul to Tony for a quick glance, and it broke Tony's heart. He shut his eyes and pressed a kiss on Loki's lips. The world muted around them, and suddenly there was no one else. There was only Loki, his dry lips and the saltiness of Tony's own tears. When he broke the kiss, he saw Loki staring at him in horror. "What- What are you doing?" "I kissed you, idiot." "No, don't- Don't do that, Stark, don't you dare go catch feelings for me. I am a monster, do you understand me?" "Too late. And you're not a monster, Reindeer Games", Tony smirked lovingly at the Asgardian, "you're just misunderstood. You deserve better."

Tony's words struck Loki like lightning. And he should know, he's caught a few of those growing up with Thor. "Heal yourself, please. I know you're strong enough to do that now. Strange stitched you up, but your magic will probably do a better job", Tony snickered. Loki sighed, but removed the bandages with Tony's help and then healed himself. "Good, now I can do this", he smiled and crawled into bed with Loki. Loki was about to tell him no, when Tony laid a hand on Loki's hand. A shiver shot through Loki's body and he winced in fear. "Shh, it's okay, Loki. It's okay", Tony's voice was calming and soft, somewhat like Frigga's voice, but obviously huskier. Quivering in fear, Loki let Tony come near and spoon him. Tony pulled the blanket over the two of them and held the cold God in his arms. Slowly Loki relaxed in Tony's arms, allowing touch for the first time after being tortured. "So you never had a real home?" Tony asked silenty. "Loki, all you had to do was ask. This is your home. You'll always have a home not only in my Tower, but in my arms. Whenever you need", he spoke gently, ghosting a kiss on Loki's neck. "I love you, Loki. You are home."

[hajimesh]

lokasenna pt. 1

Word Count: 1600-ish

Pairings: Jötunn!Loki x Healer!Reader

Summary: You're a healer at the palace, with a nice humble life. That is until you got sent to Utgard with Prince Loki. You must learn to live among the Jötnar and Loki to survive. But hey, what is life without a bit of danger?

A/N: I’ve been working on this fic for the past month and I’m so excited to finally share it with you guys! I tried to read a bit of norse mythology to make it as accurate as possible but have in mind I’m no expert on this topic. I should be updating it once maybe twice a week. Feedback is welcome. Enjoy!

- Einn -

Being a healer of the royal family was not an easy task. Having in your hands the life of not only the King, Queen and the Princes, but also the families of the court; was heavy duty. One that you have been prepared for your whole life.

Queen Frigga had taken you under her wing since you were a child. She was the one who discovered your healing abilities while you unconsciously healed a bird in her gardens. She had been watching you with curiosity in her eyes as you caressed the bird’s broken wing, and after a few minutes, set it free to fly away.

She made you her pupil from that very moment and that, eventually, lead you to train your magic alongside the Princes. Prince Thor never showed interest in the magic field, but he quickly considered you a friend of his. Whereas Prince Loki focused on his mother’s lessons and sometimes joined you in your child’s games. Although he was way more reserved.

As you turned into a young maiden, the Queen gave you a job as a healer in the palace’s infirmary. No longer being a servant, you learnt so much more and your abilities were exploited to the maximum. Always under the watch of the All-mother, she made sure you were doing well and kept teaching you everything she could. As long as her duties allowed her, of course.

It was a normal day at the infirmary. Healing stomach aches and small cuts from the kids that had too much to eat or too much fun while playing. Those kind of injuries were the most common ones, so without thinking, you began the procedure you had mastered all these years.

Placing some herbs in the boiling water, you poured a bit of your healing magic to potentiate their properties. Once it was ready, you placed the scalding water into a spray bottle and proceeded to attend your patient.

“Hello, child. Are you still feeling unwell?” You coo at the little boy who could not be older than five years old.

“Yes, miss.” He pouted as he rubbed his bloated tummy.

“Do not fret, this should help with the pain. Let me know if it’s too hot.” You explained.

You began to place some of the water while gently rubbing his tummy. The boy stiffened at your touch but soon relaxed at the warmth. After fifteen minutes you were done.

“My job here is done, but I recommend you to rest for the remainder of the day.” Smiling at him, he looked lively again.

“Thank you, miss!” With a small bow he stood up and ran away.

As you were packing your stuff away you heard movement outside the walls of the room and whispers began to arise amongst the other healers.

“…dead.”  

“Frost giants.”

You only caught some bits from all the whispers. Curiosity got the best of you and right as you were about to go out and see for yourself what the fuss was about, a startled guard entered the room.

“Laufey is dead.”

Prince Loki paced in his chambers, deep in thought. The stiffness in his posture showed the tension he was feeling at the moment.

“If you keep that up you will make a hole on the floor.” Prince Thor’s sarcasm was not welcomed by the younger Prince, who shoot him a deathly glare.

“Loki, please talk to us. What is bothering you, dear?” Frigga’s voice flowed like silk through the air as she tried to comfort her son.

“Do you really want to know what is bothering me, mother?” Venom laced Prince Loki’s voice. Then, he continued talking.

“You know what this means. Laufey’s death.” His face contorted into one of concern adding years to him.

“I know it's a hard decision to make, but do not strain yourself. You have no obligation to do something you do not want.” The All-mother tried to reassure him.

“It is not an obligation but a right of mine as a Son of Laufey. One I am not planning to reject.” The firmness in Prince Loki’s voice earned a sigh of resignation from the Queen.

“I guess it is settled then.” The Queen gave Loki a last chance to change his mind.

“I will claim the crown that belongs to me and only me, Loki Laufeyson.”

Prince Thor and Frigga exchanged looks, concerned about the young Prince’s decision. They could only hope he knew what he was getting himself into.

After the guard announced that the King of Jötunheim was dead, gasps were heard all over the room. Everyone knew what this meant. Loki was next in line for the throne being a Laufeyson. You were a bit concerned about him. You liked to think you were acquaintances, so you knew how this would put a heavy weight on his shoulders, although he would never admit it.

Being distracted by your thoughts, you didn’t hear the door of the infirmary open.

“Child, I’m glad to see you are still here. I must have a word with you.” Queen Frigga’s voice took you by surprise.

“Your Majesty!” You turned to her, worry masking her face. “Of course, how may I be of help?”

“I believe you know what happened earlier today, right?” You nodded your head in agreement.

“I must confess I am deeply worried by Loki’s well being. He has made a decision that I’m not entirely sure it’s the right one.” Concern filled her eyes as she confined in you her deepest worries.

“Does this mean he has chosen to claim the throne?” You didn’t think he would accept it.

“I am afraid he did. But him traveling on his own and exposing himself to danger worries me to no end.” Tears welled up in her eyes. You had never seen her like that, so vulnerable.

Caring about the Queen as your own mother, you embraced and consoled her. You could not imagine how hard this must be for her, watching her son expose himself to imminent danger.

“I am sure Prince Loki is smart enough to defend himself.” You try to reassure her, but you don’t really know what could happen to him.

“Why does not someone go with him? Prince Thor perhaps?” You question her, trying to find a solution to her problems.

“I am afraid that is not possible, my dear. Thor has his own duties here on Asgard. But perhaps we could find someone else to go with Loki.” Frigga seemed to think for a moment until she turns to you with wide eyes. “Why don’t you go with him?” Her eyes shone with hope as she waited for your answer.

Your eyes widened in surprise. You? By the norns, when you suggested it you never thought it would be you.

“Me? Your majesty I do not mean to question you, but I do not think I’m fitted for this task.” You try to reason with her and find your way out of this.

“But child, you are a healer. What could be possibly better than a healer to look after Loki’s life?” Her excitement only made you feel worse.

“I-I don’t know anything about Jötunheim or the Jötnar, my Queen. I would be of no use. Their body and metabolism being totally different to Asgardian ones.” One last attempt wouldn’t hurt.

“That could be our excuse! Say that you wish to expand your knowledge and traveling with my son will help you learn about other races. It’s perfect!”

You were in deep shit now.

A knock was heard in the silent room. Loki looked up from his book and sighed.

“Who is it?” He didn’t even try to hide the annoyance in his voice.

“Your mother.” Frigga’s voice called back and took Loki by surprise.

The guards opened the doors and allowed the Queen into Loki’s chambers. Frigga could tell the distress his son was going through. A gentle smile made its way on her face and with a hand movement he gestured the prince to come closer.

“My son, you look troubled.” Her smooth voice eased Loki’s nerves. She always had a calming effect on him.

“I am troubled, mother. But not in the way you think. I am troubled because I must leave immediately to Utgard to claim the throne but I still don’t have a plan.” Rubbing his temples, he sighed in defeat.

“I’m sure you will come up with something. Now, there’s something I must speak with you, Loki. You remember Y/N, right? Our healer?” Loki looked confused at her question but nodded his head nonetheless. “Well, I suggested her to go with you so she could expand her knowledge about healing and magic with other creatures, like the frost giants.”

“You did what!?” Loki’s voice sounded alarmed. “You cannot be serious, she is not going. No one is going.”

“Son, her abilities are strong you have seen them before. It is a great opportunity for her to learn more than I can teach her. Furthermore, I’ll feel at ease knowing that someone I trust is there with you.” He looked away, not knowing what to say.

“Mother, I-I don’t…” He sighed in defeat as he looked at her mother’s eyes. She had won the battle.

Frigga’s smile was wide and bright. She embraced him in a tight hug and kissed his cheek. Loki smiled at her and kissed the back of her hand. He definitely had a soft spot for her.

“Thank you, my son. I knew you would understand. I should go and tell her the news. I’ll see you at supper.” With a wink she turned towards the doors and left.

Loki let himself fall backwards on his bed. What has he agreed to?

Next chapter

Loki Taglist: @slytherins-assemble-tofightsith @memmucci

[theweepingvulcan91]

Ruining away from the Circus

This is for @ruckystarnes summer of Au’s. 

word count 1964

Warnings: Circus AU, Mention of sex, minor swearing

Pairings/Characters: Howard Stark x Idunn (my Oc)

Summery : Howard wants to go see this new circus in town with Edwin and Ana. What they don’t know is that there is a normal Stark Motive behind it.

“Jarvis? Are we busy today?”

Howard Stark said as his grip tightened on his newspaper. He had seen an ad for something he was very very interested in. Then again, he was always interested in beautiful women. The tall form of Mr. Jarvis appeared besides Howard.

“You always should be busy Mr. Stark. What crazy idea did you have this time?”

“Let's go to the circus!”  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ana’s eyes were widened. It wasn’t often that Mr. Stark invited everyone out on an evening like this. She always loved the circus and was glad that Edwin had accepted Howard’s invite.  There was something to be said about the circus environment. Looking back, she saw her husband holding popcorn and cotton candy as he followed behind her with Howard.

“Is there something you’re looking for Mr. Stark?”

Anna asked as she took some of the snacks from her husband. Smiling she saw his face widen into a mischievous smile.  It was never a good thing when Howard Stark smiled like that. She thought as she helped Edwin find their seats.  

“I just simply needed a break and wanted to enjoy the atmosphere.”  

Howard looking out into the tent. He was searching for the beautiful girl from the fliers. He had hoped to be able to see her. There was something so majestic about the woman covered in plants. Ushering everyone into their seats. The lights dimmed as a man dressed in a fine-looking suit walked up into the center of the ring.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! I wish to welcome you to the Valhalla circus this evening. I am your ringmaster Odin!”

Odin’s voice boomed throughout the entire tent. His presence could be felt for miles as he spoke about his circus.

“Tonight, we have a very special show for you today.  Such feats of magic and acrobatics for you today that will leave you breathless.”

Odin’s voice deepened as he heard the gasps of the crowds. Tonight, was special as it would be the first time his youngest son Bragi and his wife Idunn would be preforming their acrobatics.  

“Now I shall present to you my wife Frigga and son Loki to dazzle you with their magics.”  

Odin said with a boom as all the lights seemed to snuff out. A light blue glow could be seen walking into the center of the stage.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you ready Bragi?”

Idunn had asked her fiance wither or not he was ready for this. He was normally known for his poetry not his acts but Odin thought that it was time for them to work together. What kind of wife would she be if she didn’t learn to work with her husband? Taking a deep breath, she adjusted her green leotard.  

“Of course, my love. It shall be fine.”

“You’ll pay more attention? I would hate you if I had to save your ass from death again.”  

“Of course, of course...”

The vines on her leotard seemed to hiss as she patted it looking as her husband ogled at a passing Valkyrie. He was a man with a truly wicked tongue. Not that they hadn’t agreed to be open but there were times like this where she was angry with his lack of attention. Without thinking she pushed past him to watch Loki and Frigga. Blues and greens flashed across the skies in feats of dazzling magic. To most this was just a trick of light but to Idunn this was really magic.  

“Lady Frigga and Loki everyone!”

The booming voice of Odin filled the tent once again as Frigga and Loki bowed. The roar of the crowd made Idunn’s heart flutter. She had done many acrobatic tricks on her own but this was the first time she would do this with Bragi in front of a crowd. She began to nervously pace as the vines around her unitard all but squeezed against her body in comfort.  

“And now we shall bring you to the land of man and giants alike. Strength is what you shall now see! Welcome the greats! Surtr! Hyrrokkin! Skadi! Suttung! Thor! Vidar! Tyr! These are the strongest that the Vallhalla circus has to offer!”  

Idunn smiled as she watched the towering men and women make their way into the ring. Looking at the crowds her eyes paused on an excited looking man. Howard gasped as he saw how huge these being were. There was something to be said about their giant stature.

Looking out at the night's crowd Howard was on the hunt for something. He was here for a reason and he was desperately searching for it. His eyes widened as he saw a young-looking woman in green watching him from behind the curtain. That’s Her...

Howard thought as he felt a nudge from Ana. Letting out a roar of forced excitement he couldn’t help but smile. Edwin shook his head as he looked down at his employer. This was the face of a man who saw a pretty woman. If his face could speak at the moment it would speak of dread as it was going to be a busy after party.

“Those are the beautiful creatures with the strength of the giants everybody!”

Odin boomed as did the crowd. They had been truly dazzled by their great feats of strength. As they shuffled out of the ring Idunn began to fidget. Now it was time for her and Bragi. Taking a deep breath, she made her way up towards the acrobatics platform. Looking around she smiled seeing that Bragi was actually at his post.

“Now ladies and gentlemen it is time to be amazing by a wonderful pair of acrobats. These two have been across the far reaches of the world learning how to throw themselves about to dazzle and amaze you. I’m so confident in their skills they will not even need a net. Put your hands together for Bragi and Idunn!”

The lights flashed on the platforms above. Idunn’s green unitard was shimmering under the lights as she posed in a graceful way. Bragi looked around and smiled as he was looking to all of the ladies in the crowd. Grabbing the bar that was handed to her Idunn sat at the wide bar and sung. Wrapping her legs around it she contorting her body into a beautiful teasing dance. As she swung, she waited for Bragi to swing so that she may catch him. Running off he swung a few times before looking at Idunn. It was time for him to throw himself towards her. His eyes never leaving hers but for a moment as he had timed the jump poorly and missed her hands.  

The crowd gasped as he went headed for the floor. Idunn swore as she took the vine from her costume and whipped at Bragi. The vine seemed to grip against his body tightly as she pulled him up. Trying to keep her anger silent she pulled the vine up towards her as she took hold of his hand and held onto him. His bar was thrown towards them as he grabbed it and continued with his minor tricks.  

Howard like the others gasped as Bragi went falling into the ground. He was flabbergasted at how strong and beautiful this woman was. He truly needed to see her now more than ever. Getting up he made his way towards the back of the tent hoping someone would help him find her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damn it Bragi!”  

Idunn all but swore as she pushed her lover hard. There hadn’t been a fire so deep in her since Loki had messed with her apples. Her eyes swirled with a anger that was deeper than the abyss.

“You seriously couldn’t pay attention long enough to do your ONE JOB!”  

She pushed him to accentuate the last two words.  

Bragi sat there taking his lumps. He knew all too well he had ruined his lover’s show. He had done things that he swore he’d never do again. Led mind strikes again. He thought to himself as he reaches for his love.

“I’m...”

“You aren’t sorry Bragi! You constantly keep doing this. You don’t care about anything that I do. You only care when you need my sexual embrace...I can’t stomach this anymore! I can’t look at you!” Idunn stormed off taking her shaking vine with her. Rubbing her hands gently on it was as if she was trying to comfort the thing.

“I’m so sorry little one. You’ve never had to take so much weight before. Stupid Bragi....fucking idiot...ruining my performance...”

“I thought you did amazing...”

Howard maneuvered through the canvas to stand in front of her. Even though she was not as big as the others in the circus she was still a bit taller than the man in front of her. Looking into his eye she was confused. He seemed familiar somehow.  

“I would have been far better at my job if I had a partner that wasn’t intent of sleeping with every female in the crowd.”

Idunn’s tone icy and bitter as she spoke of Bragi. Gently coiling the vine, she whispered and kissed it before tucking it under her arm.

“Have you thought of doing your own routine?”

Howard closed the gap between them as he watched her mutter to her plant.   “Odin will not let anyone other than Baldur do a single routine. I’ve thought about getting the girls together to do some acrobatic dances and he said it would just “sexualize a family affair”. Part of me wishes I could just settle down with someone who would let me teach my dance without question.”  

Idunn stood now inches away from this stranger. His eyes were filled with wonder as he couldn’t stop gazing into her eyes. Reaching down she studied his face. His name was on the tip of her tongue as she looked deeply into his eyes.

“There you are Mr. Stark!”

Edwin said as he stumbled up behind them. Idunn’s eyes widened as she heard his name. She couldn’t believe that this man...was the richest man in this city.

“Howard Stark?!?”

Idunn gasped as she felt indecent now. She had been so informal with him; telling him her desires. Shaking her head, she looked at the ground.

“I’m sorry sir if I was disrespectful in any way.”

Her voice hitched as she tried not to die of embarrassment. Howard smiled as he reached his hand up and brushed it against her cheek.

“You were ravishing. And if you feel you weren’t...well It isn’t something dinner wouldn’t fix Ms. Idunn.”

“Would you really have such a simple carny be at your side? What will other’s say?” “To Hell with others. I came here because I thought you were the most enchanting being in the cosmos. I shall not leave until I get to know you better.”  

Idunn’s body reacted towards his hand. Nuzzling against his fingertips she let out a soft sigh. She couldn’t believe after all was said and done this playboy billionaire was interested in her. What for she couldn’t quite understand, but the interest was there.

“Of course, she will!”

Odin boomed walking behind Idunn. Resting his hand on her shoulder he looked down at her as if to say “think of the circus” and smiled at Mr. Stark.

“We will have her ready in fifteen minutes. She isn’t needed for the rest of the show.”

Idunn sighed as she looked at Howard. She didn’t want to be here. She wanted nothing more than to flee and he could see that. Grabbing her hand Howard ran off with her following behind him.

“Where are we going Mr. Stark?”

“Anywhere but here...and please call me Howard.”  

He said as they weaved their way out of the circus.

[imagine-loki]

Soulbonds and Fairy Dust (rewrite)

TITLE: Soulbonds and Fairy Dust (rewrite) CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 3/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine one of the fae has been helping the Avengers, jumping in to help them on missions and vanishing before Shield can bring her in.  Loki joins the team and convinces her to come talk to the team and consider joining before Shield takes more drastic measures. RATING: M NOTES/WARNINGS:  This is a rewrite of the original work of the same name.  Also on AO3 here

“Hey!” she protested, tugging on her wrist, trying to get it out of Loki’s cold vice-like grip.  Unfortunately, he was stronger than she was.  And he was dragging her further into the building.  There was no question in his body language or the bruising grip on her that she wasn’t getting away.  Not without truly hurting him.  Whatever her words had sparked was riding him hard.  He wasn’t letting her out of his sight again.  

He also annoyingly still had her ring, so it would be a pain to flee now. She would just have to sneak back to claim her ring later, which was easier said than done when a magician was involved.  He ignored her protests and kept his grip on her wrist firm as he dragged her into the elevator at the back of the reception area.  He was silent the entire ride up the tower, and dragged her out into what appeared to be a living room with a huge tv and too many couches and comfy chairs spread around it. 

“Let me go!” she protested again, yanking harder against the hand holding her wrist.  She really didn’t want to force him through violence. His grip should not have been that strong on her overtop of her coat.  She didn’t want to force him to let she go, but she would if he didn’t knock it off and start explaining things. 

Soon.

“Please do not fight me, Lady Fae. This is important,” Loki told her firmly, but not unkindly, just in a tone that told her clearly that he expected to be obeyed. She noted that while he was holding her firmly, he wasn’t hurting her, not really.  He just wasn’t letting her escape.  It was almost as if he were afraid of losing her if he wasn’t physically holding onto her.

She huffed, “Fine,” she grumbled and walked with him into the common room.  Struggling wasn’t going to help matters any.  Not if she wanted answers or her ring back.

Thor was waiting for them in the common room and stood when they entered. He had been so excited when Loki had said he wished to meet the fae lady downstairs. He was glad Loki had finally wanted to do something, anything. That that activity had to do with another person was an even better sign.  Though Thor stiffened when he saw her wrist firmly in Loki’s grip; that was unacceptable behavior towards a guest. “Brother, that is not how you treat a guest…” he told Loki, his tone dry, but trying to keep the situation from turning violent. He didn’t care for how the fae lady was being treated any more than she did. 

Something about the two men’s interaction brought back a memory of two boys, one with black hair in a green tunic, the other was blond in a red tunic having some kind of argument. she were standing nearby huffing in exasperation at her silly boys. Not her sons, no, her friends. She had been the same size as them. 

Now where had that memory come from?

“Brother, now is not the time for you to berate me, you will understand my actions in a moment,” Loki told him, his voice calm as his hand remained clamped around her wrist, his grip not loosening at all, as if he were afraid she would disappear if he let she go. “Lady Fae, please inform my brother of your name,” he addressed her pleasantly, gently.  There was a sense of caring and something that could easily be mistaken for love.  Had they actually known each other.  

She huffed at Loki’s treatment of her and hoped there would be explanations soon. “My name is Sigyn, what of it?” she grumbled and watched Thor’s eyes go wide after she said her name. 

“You see why I did not wish to risk losing her again now that I have found her?” Loki asked his brother with desperation in his voice.  Thor nodded, but didn’t say anything yet as Loki turned to her and finally dropped her wrist. “I apologize for my rough treatment, lady. I was surprised when I heard you name. There was a young noble lady on Asgard by the name of Sigyn who went missing around 500 years ago, we presumed her dead. She had been my best friend,” he added that part softly and she weren’t sure she or Thor were meant to hear those words. She saw the haunted look and pain in his eyes and all she wanted to do was go hug him. 

That was a strange reaction for someone used to being alone. 

“You think I’m you missing Sigyn, though surely the name can’t be that uncommon…” she said softly, the pieces coming together from what he’d said so far. He thought her his long lost friend. She couldn’t just accept it without any form of evidence, though, so she had to bring up the question.

Loki shook his head.  “The name was never very popular on Asgard, and became nearly taboo to use after y-she,” he corrected quickly, very nearly saying ‘you’ to her.  He couldn’t let himself have that much hope, not yet.  Not without proof.  “disappeared,”

Sigyn wished she could remember more of her childhood, but she couldn’t yet. She’d had to hide the memories even from herself. A golden lady had taught she that piece of magic when she were a child. When she was teaching the black haired boy. 

Her memories were coming back slowly in the presence of these two men. 

“You told me earlier that you were taken when you were younger, you said 500 or so mortal years, and don’t remember where you’re from,” Loki added gently to the fae lady, to the lady who looked nothing like his Sigyn, but… still seemed so familiar.  He was also explaining for Thor’s benefit. The pieces were falling into place and it seemed more and more likely as the conversation went on. “The timeline fits, especially from a child’s memory…Sig was only 500 when she was taken from us,”

“True,” she agreed softly, “I had to hide my memories, even from myself to protect the people back home from the fae,” she added just as softly.  She had a feeling that with these revelations, she definitely wasn’t leaving their care. She had a feeling they were right, but there was no proof.  How could there be?

“Can you find your memories again?” Thor asked her gently, and gods he sounded so familiar, with that overly protective brotherly tone and the true concern in his words. 

She nodded, concentration in her eyes. “Given time I can, but not soon enough to answer your questions as fast as I’d like,” she explained, Loki nodded along, seeming to know exactly what magic she’d used to hide her memories all of those years ago. He was a magician, of course he knew, or had a good idea. 

Thor looked to Loki. “How do we find out the truth?” he asked Loki just as gently. He didn’t want Loki hurt if she wasn’t really his long lost best friend. The longer Loki was left to hope she was his Sigyn, the more broken hearted he would be if she weren’t.  And Loki had already tried to kill himself once in recent history. 

Loki considered that and both Sigyn and Thor could practically see the gears in his mind turning as he thought over the situation. “I would suggest I help her unlock her memories through magic, but I am not sure that is wise as I have never tried to look into the mind of a fae. I can contact Mother and see if she has any ideas,” Loki finally replied cautiously.  He didn’t want to take risks, not with this, not with potentially hurting his Sigyn. 

“Can you contact Mother from here?” Thor asked a bit incredulously. It was incredibly far from Midgard to Asgard, especially without using the Bifrost’s power. He wasn’t sure whether to believe Loki’s skill could truly reach home. “Is her ring enough of a clue? It is a noble lady’s ring, and they contain magic, do they not?” Thor was trying to come up with a solution that didn’t mean Loki had to contact Frigga between the realms.  He didn’t quite believe Loki could do it as easily as he was claiming. Loki was a known liar, especially when it came to solving a mystery he wanted solved.  And Loki was desperate to find out if she were his long lost best friend.  

Desperate was an understatement. 

“Mother and I are connected from any distance. She taught me my magic, you oaf. Yes, the rings have magic in them, spells to make sure they grow with the wearer and a protection spell on them. It protects them until they hand over the ring to the one who owns their heart,” Loki explained to his brother, though the fae took in the information as well.  The information was familiar, known, but still so new to her.

 Thor sighed and grumbled at his brother. “I am merely throwing out suggestions of easier ways to solve the mystery than trying to reach across the realms with magic.” The fae had been watching them silently, unobtrusively.  She was quite practiced at not drawing undue attention to herself and was taking in all of the ‘new’ information as they spoke. 

Loki’s eyes glazed over a little as he spoke telepathically with Frigga. Sigyn and Thor couldn’t hear the conversation, though Loki had to draw enough power and concentration that its as obvious what he was up to. /Mother, can you hear me?/ he asked her as he made the reach between the realms.

/I can hear you darling. Is there trouble?/ Frigga replied, concerned that Loki would be contacting her from Midgard.  There was no other reason she could think of for Loki to be contacting her over such a long distance except for some kind of trouble. 

/Not exactly…/ he paused, nervous to explain now that it was time to find out the truth. He didn’t want to lose the hope he had built that this fae lady really was his Sigyn. /There is a fae lady here who says her name is Sigyn, though we do not know if she is the same Sigyn Thor and I knew when we were younger, the same Sigyn we lost.  We could use you help in confirming the truth for her/ He really meant ‘for me’, but left those words unspoken.  He knew his mother would understand.

/Why would a fae lady be our missing Sigyn? Though that name is not common. It lost favor with the people after our Sigyn went missing/ she paused while she considered how to test the lady for Loki.  /Though it is easy enough for me to confirm or deny. I assume she is there with you. Have her perform a piece of Asgardian magic, if she can. I taught Sigyn when you were both children so I can recognize her magic, just as I can yours/ As long as Frigga was linked with Loki she would be able to feel the fae’s power.

Loki looked at Sigyn, which was more than a little weird with his eyes glazed with magic as they were.  “Lady Fae, would you be willing to perform a piece of magic for me? My mother will be able to confirm or deny you identity from that, since she taught Sigyn magic when we were children,” his voice was a little monotonous when he spoke while still in trance.

“A-alright,” she replied shyly.  She wasn’t used to dealing with, or really being around people.  She only had a couple friends on Midgard and liked to keep it that way.  She created a little illusion rose.  It was the first little spell she thought of and was the magic of her childhood, not from her powers as fae, somehow understanding the request from Loki’s question, though he hadn’t stated it. 

/That is our Sigyn!/ Frigga confirmed, sounding excited that she was back from the dead.  Of course she was excited.  Frigga adopted all children who came into her life, especially the ones who came into her children’s lives.

/Thank you, Mother/ Loki replied and ended the connection before it drained his powers too much to keep it open.  Even he had trouble holding the connection across the realms.

He turned to Sigyn properly and she saw unshed tears of joy in his eyes.  “Mother confirmed it. You are of Asgard and the same Sigyn we knew when we were children,” he told her, with joy in his expression, though she had the feeling he hadn’t experienced joy in a long, long while.  Sig and Thor both stared at him in disbelief, but it just clicked with her as the truth, fae could hear lies after all.  Though she vowed that she was going to regain her blocked memories as soon as possible to know for sure herself. 

But she remembered something… “You’re the same Loki, then?  The black-haired boy I studied magic with?” she asked softly, her own eyes glazed as she fought to remember. “And hammer brain the oaf?” she looked at Thor who rolled his eyes.  

“She remembers nothing else except that terrible nickname,” he grumbled and all three of them laughed.  

Loki looked like he was trying to remain proper and polite, but he was fighting and failing.  He rushed to her and after a moment of hesitation, a moment where she could tell him no to deny him the touch, he pulled her into his arms.  She remembered that his skin was always freakishly cold, though she couldn’t feel it through her coat.   “I thought I’d lost you forever,” he whispered as he held her to him.  

She slowly wrapped her arms around him, comforted by the feeling of old memories, even if she didn’t quite remember them yet. 

Still, being in his arms felt like home.