#GIRLIE THIS IS NECESSITY FOR YOU LMAO

[thatoneluckybee]

last one but SEPERATING THIS AS ONE PICTURE CAUSE THISTHISTHISTHISTHIS

[xfancyuu]

~ cause i can feel a real connection, a supernatural attraction. [aemond targaryen]

PART III (want it more and more) 18+, smut.

as promised, here is the third and last part! the first part & second of this series contains a westerosi wedding & a valyrian wedding, this fic will contain SMUT, it is reader's first time and she's extremely nervous and slightly clueless. reader is afab with she/her pronouns if requested i will write non-binary characters! i'd also love some feedback for this! i'd love some pointers on what you liked/didn't like about it! this is my first time writing smut so like be kind, i'm on the ace spectrum and i'm a virgin so everything i know is from reading erotica and roleplaying smut as hilariosity lmao. i should have mentioned before now this fic was inspired by bts' blood sweat and tears, the korean lyrics sound so much better than the english lyrics look.

this fic contains: bolton!reader (now targaryen), wedding consummation, mentions of aemond's assault (bc that's what it was), the word maidenhead, readers hella nervous bc she hasn't had in-depth knowledge about what would happen, reader's clueless about oral sex and aemond goes down on her lmao, two losers in love. girl on top (i read somewhere it's probably the best way to be in control during sex and i have control issues lmao), as doja once said: big noses i won't elaborate, this isn't the sexy kind of smut it's the awkward first time kind. times are rough for girlies in westeros and it's kinda reflected in the way reader thinks/talks about children. [2,582 words]

THIS CONTAINS SMUT BUT THE PURPOSE OF THE STORY IS MORE ABOUT THEM BEING REPRESSED! PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS EXPECTING SOLELY EROTICA!

The proximity between both yourself and Aemond was strange, you knew you'd have to be intimate at one point, but it hadn't crossed your mind that being on a bed in only your underclothes would leave you so insecure. Had Aemond not wanted to touch you? His previous words contradicted your thoughts, even if they lived within your mind.

It was silent, not the comfortable silence you were so often used to when spending time with Aemond and his sister. The kind which made your skin crawl, the kind which made you feel hyper-analysed, the kind which you didn't know how to break without shattering the illusion of yourself. The illusion that you were perfectly content and wanted nothing more than to just exist within the same space as him.

You had thought about Helaena's children, how they were beautiful and so precious. But did you want children of your own so soon? Your body was not an incubator for children, being a daughter you were constantly told your only purpose in life was to bring children into the world and watch them thrive. No other option had presented itself. Your brother's wives had taken this in their stride, providing heirs and the like, but you were beyond worried that would be your only use. Your only contribution to society. Aemond was a second son — did he truly need heirs? Were children considered a commodity and not a necessity? You had wished your worries would be alleviated. They had not with your refusal to talk about children and their possible needs. Would you be a horrible mother who put your own needs before theirs? Would you be bitter like your own mother? You had no intention of finding out so soon.

Would you lose your identity after marriage? You had been so lively and bubbly, you didn't want your spark to dim simply because you were bound to Aemond forever. Or however long forever truly lasts.

"Do you want children?" Your question was mumbled, as though you didn't want to say the words aloud. Your demeanour was never this timid, especially not with Aemond.

"I hadn't given it much thought, Aegon is the one who needed to provide heirs, Rhaenyra already has children, as a second son it's not my immediate priority. It shouldn't be yours, either." The sincerity in which Aemond had spoke had calmed you significantly. Perhaps he too struggled with the duty of being the perfect child who could do no wrong too.

"My parents want more grandchildren, though I still feel as though the world is unexplored, and I have so much to learn about... Children feel as though it would be a life sentence to unhappiness." You had never truly spoken the words aloud, unhappiness and despair would most likely follow the children you brought into the world.

"Then perhaps we should wait, for children that is, there are pleasures in producing children, but there are many methods which a child could be prevented." This was news to you, had Aemond felt the desire you held for him? How badly you had wanted him but refrained because it was so unladylike?

"You should show me." Your reply would have shocked Aemond if he did not know you well enough to know your adventurous streak and wanting to know everything. "Mother told me I should just let you lie on top of me and wait for you to get off, I do not quite know what she meant, but it didn't sound... Pleasurable for either party involved."

"If your mother believes that is the height of passion and romance, I truly feel sorry for her." Your laughter could be heard through the room, though he did have a point. Your mother was so much younger than your father and lacked experience in many ways, you didn't doubt her bitterness came from her life being taken from her so young and being expected to make your father happy.

"I think the only emotions she knows how to feel is bitterness and hatred, perhaps pettiness too, she says I get that off her. How I can hold a grudge for moons over slight offences. But I do think she prefers me over my brothers. One does not share a bed with his wife, instead he shares with his friend, the other she calls dim witted at any opportunity, one she wants to send to the wall and my younger brother isn't a priority, I doubt she even knows his name. I think she gave up around the time her second was born to be, as she calls, a disappointment we never got better for her, I think. She can at least stay in a room with me for hours on end."

Aemond's expression is that of shock. To your vulnerability or to the way you laid your soul bare to him, you did not know. Aemond's mind was but a mystery to you, a mystery you wished to understand. You considered yourself like Lady Sunderland, a girl investigator who solved mysteries all around the world. Your favourite had to be the one which took place in the North, a story of deception, lies and corrupt dealings. Yet it had all been fictional but if you were to be someone, you wished to be like her.

"Father doesn't pay any mind to her feelings either, nor does he notice how we feel — or rather, he doesn't care to. I think I'm his favourite too, is that unfair to say? I fear that I'm a product of them both and wouldn't want to inflict those traits onto my own children." The insecurities you had kept within you came out like a flood. You supposed you were lucky to have such involved parents, but their constant interference and being obsessive with the way they treated you had left you feeling somewhat resentful that your childhood was so contained to what they saw fit and not what you had wanted to do.

Laying yourself so open and honest had an adverse reaction within Aemond. While you were so willing to bare your soul to him, he could simply not do the same. He could not share his trauma with you, but you had accepted it. Welcomed it even.

"Children are not a necessity at this very moment, Y/N."

"But they will be expected, I have seen the way you look at Helaena's children and I cannot deny I enjoy spending time with them and by the time mother was my age she'd already had two of my brothers — my good sisters were married and had children by the age of seven and ten, and it feels as though I am behind in life despite not being old enough to truly be behind."

"Do you wish you had their lives? To be as miserable as most of those women? Your mother is bitter, she only knows hatred and pettiness. The majority of the surrounding women are not happy themselves, you said so yourself. Would you choose to be unhappy and ahead in life or happy and, as you so put it, behind." Aemond's words of reasoning had somewhat snapped you out of your current state. "You are in constant comparison with others, and it is not healthy for yourself or those surrounding you, my love."

"It is hard not to when those surrounding me seem so put together, and I'm one moment from falling apart."

"If it eases you, I too do not wish for children so early into our marriage, I wish to have you alone for some time."

"And what would you like to do, alone with me?"

Instead of answering you directly, Aemond's weight had shifted on the bed and ever, so suddenly he was above you. You did not know what had possessed you to kiss your husband with such ferocity — perhaps it was the need and desire for him. Two long years of courtship with underlying tension and the inability to relieve it. Not knowing how to relieve it. You had once put a pillow beneath yourself as to stop the sensation, but could never bring yourself to finish as thoughts of Aemond had entered your mind. You had considered it shameful and avoided the man at every possibility before you inevitably had to speak once more. You had wondered if Aemond had done the same thing — thought of you in such sinful ways.

The way you had gazed at him was almost as though you were a lovesick girl. In young adolescence, you had always dreamed of having your own prince to save you from the mundane world. If the world was mundane with Aemond within it, you would not have had it any other way. The way he looked at you, the way he so intently listened, the way he had almost feared your rejection, his anger, his jealousy, his envious nature, you had wanted it more than anything. You didn't need to pretend with Aemond, you could be yourself unapologetically, and he would simply smile.

The kiss initiated by had gone from a peck to something more in such little time. His hands had wandered down your body as if knowing the right places to touch. How he held such a gentle touch within him, you did not know. You were rough, hands tousling through his hair. He was so composed while you were losing yourself to the pleasure you had felt. Would he consider you disgusting? The feelings you had felt at the moment felt nothing but pure.

The kissing had gone from your mouth to your neck as Aemond planted kisses upon you. Once or twice you felt his teeth against your skin, but you could not complain about it. However, as he moved further down your body you had spoken, "This feels nice but what are you actually doing?"

"Do you trust me?" Aemond had answered your question with his own as he continued to move down your body, his teeth nipping your skin after the question you had asked. That one you deemed as intentional.

"Yes, but I would like you to tell me what you're doing." The sensations had gone down to your intimate area, it was almost throbbing with excitement. Perhaps the starvation of touch had caused it, or something else. "It feels quite strange."

"I promise you it won't hurt."

"Stop evading my question." Perhaps it was the frustration from lack of intimacy which was making you feel this way.

He hadn't answered, choosing to ignore you completely, lifting your underclothes to the point they had rested on your stomach. You knew what was about to happen. He was about to consummate your marriage. You were simply not prepared, but simply laid there, as your mother told you to, but the painful sensation did not come, instead you had felt his tongue.

It had felt quite nice, though you weren't sure the purpose of the ordeal. Until you felt a sensation almost identical but completely different to the night you had put the pillow between your thighs.

The throbbing didn't cease as Aemond had continued licking at the spot which had you craving release from whatever hold it had on you. You hadn't realised you were grinding against him as he continued, though you did feel something entering you. It hadn't felt unpleasant nor unwelcome, just strange.

He had continued, adding another two fingers, but you hadn't entirely noticed, hell-bent on getting the release you so desperately deserved after two years of repression. You had felt it release. It was otherworldly, had others known such pleasure and were keeping it a secret? It was almost as if you had left your body only to be brought crashing down by Aemond still between your legs while they shook.

"When you had mentioned there being pleasure, I did not expect this." Your panting was evident as Aemond pulled himself away from between your legs, "Is there a way I can make you feel as though I just felt?"

"Does my dear wife wish to please me? Your current state says otherwise." Once again, he was hovering over you, though he had initiated the kiss. You had tasted yourself upon him and while it was a distinct taste you could not put a word to it.

You had pulled away rather quickly and though Aemond had not showed it upon his face, he was rather disappointed with you doing so. "Why are you teasing me right now?" It was your turn to take control, not doing so would be against your character. "Why would I not wish to please you? Your pleasure matters much more to me than my own." You were on top of him now, and you knew he could easily fight you off but chose not to.

The underclothes you were wearing had been removed by yourself as you sat within Aemond's lap, "Tell me how I should please you now... Or I'll never give you the option again."

"You think yourself in control?" Aemond had you within his grip and wasn't about to let you go, "Yet you do not even know how to pleasure me, how would you go about that, without guidance?"

"I'm very intuitive, and I sense you're just as sensitive there as I am." To prove your point, you had begun grinding on him, "Oh look, I was right."

It was a slow descent, and suddenly you were no longer a maiden. Your maidenhead had finally been broken, but that hadn't meant you could move freely. It had hurt but not as intensely as you had originally thought, with Aemond kissing you, distracting you from the pain you must have felt.

It was awkward at first, moving up and down on him, you were awfully uncomfortable wishing for the ordeal to end faster than you would speak aloud. Your only thoughts were on Aemond's pleasure, not releasing you were feeling the same as before as Aemond had played with that spot which brought you pleasure before.

It hadn't taken long for you to both reach your peak, unnaturally fast, though if Aemond was as untouched as you had been, you knew it was inevitable. Though he had come inside you, it hadn't worried you too much. It was a problem for another day and a future you.

You had all but collapsed on top of Aemond as he had whispered reassurances in your ear that the two of you would be fine.

How does one act after engaging in such acts of intense passion? You had no clue, what does one say? You doubted you could even form a coherent sentence after such a moment.

"I'm happy my first time was with somebody who truly cares for me." You were the first to break the silence. "Thank you for being so gentle and caring."

"You do not need to thank me, it had brought me as much pleasure as it did you." He would not speak of his own first experience. He hadn't considered it traumatic at the time, but he truly wished his brother wasn't as promiscuous as he was, who tried to lead him down the same path.

"I mean it, many men would not be as gentle or as kind as you were."

"Sleep, Y/N, you might want to save your energy for the morning, I may not be as kind nor gentle." It had caused you to laugh as sleep had lured you into the world you so often spent your time. You hadn't felt him kiss your head as you leaned into him.

Softness was not something Aemond was familiar with, but for you barely conscious, he could make an exception.

thank u for reading this fic! again feedback would be appreciated but u don't need to give it, this is the last instalment so thank you for following me on my journey! i suspect the next fic i write will involve my queen vhagar bc how could i leave her out of this? cross posted on ao3 under the name hedonism! this fic was reformatted on 7th april 2023

[writing-for-me-at-this-point]

Heyoooo! I was wondering if the Iseo that you posted about Soap and reader drifting apart after they decided to have a 3some wit ghost was a 1 part thing? If not can their be another extremely angsty part 2?

Cheers, To Us | John "Soap" MacTavish | COD: Modern Warefare II

[ Original ANGST Post, Part One ]

Warnings. mentions of cheating/growing distant, unfulfilled relationships, lowkey toxic relationships

Reader. Fem!reader, female reader, reader has braids, reader is American (American coded? Can't fuckin remember lmao)

AN. I wrote this within the span of one hour and nearly 25 hours with no sleep. Pls enjoy

Tags: @rey26 @trash-important @l1anaisasasama @thatanonymouschocolate (I saw you were looking for part one so here's part two lol) @bbaengtan @corvusmorte @uwu-i-purple-you (saw you guys asking fkr the first one in comments and decided yall might want one AND two lol)

Rain falls, heavy and unforgiving, and your mood seems to dampen along with the ground. Curled into the window seat, the lamp light leaves a warm, dim, tone to wash over you, and a book in hand as your head rests against the lush pillows and curtains. You tried your best to move on, to find peace, and maybe allow yourself to find it as well. God knows you tried.

“Beba, you really gonna sit there and mope, or actually read the book?” Your friend calls out, breaking you from the beginning of a spiral into another descent of depression and anxiety, and a sigh leaves you as the book is shut and tossed to the nearest coffee table.

“Neither.” You groan, meeting her in the kitchen as groceries and necessities are unpacked and put away in the correct areas, allowing you to move and sit at the bar and watch quietly. The silence is comfortable, and your mind settles, something that gratefulness cannot even begin to touch as a description.

“So, you going back? Saw some emails from old friends…” She starts, deep brown eyes staring deeply into yours, before yours find the back of your head, and she only laughs at your antics. She's finished placing things away, and opens the cabinet, the clanking of glass makes you wince just a bit.

“Maybe, not too sure yet.” You start, before a glass comes to your countertop, a vodka bottle soon filling it before filling the cup further from you.

“But?”

“But, Laswell has a place for me through some connections. Intell is always needed, and some guy… eh what's his name?” You wonder aloud, moving to take a sip of the hard liquor, pursing your lips together as you get more… acquired with the taste once again.

“D-Day! That's his name… Wayne “D-Day” Davis” You’re proud of remembering the name.

“That's… a name. A real American, huh?” Your friend snorts, turning away quickly before coming back, leaning against the countertop and nearly finishing her drink there.

“Take it easy, girlie. You’re not the uprooted one here.” You laugh, and she continues on, shaking her head.

“Uprooted. How is that, by the way? Enjoying being back home, rather than Scotland?” It’s genuine, and your eyes still water at the name of your old… home. An old life. One broken away from, because of a stupid decision, one you hate, but had to move on from.

It doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. 

“Come on, Hen. Talk to me, please.” His hands move to your hips, desperately trying to grab at you, gentle enough to let you leave, but firm enough to let you know he wants you in his hold. 

Stay. Please. He begs in his mind.

“Get away from me, John. I can’t do this right now.” You move from his hands, going to change out of your pajamas into clothing, ready to get things ready for the day. You’re exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally. You wanted to be free of this. Of him. Even if it’s killing you, and your soul would damn you for leaving a love like this behind, but the pain was too much- and you didn’t want this anymore.

It’s not like he’d care.

He has different… priorities.

“Well, when can ya? Ya never seem to have the time for me. Or us.” He’s choked up, and you can imagine the tears welling up in his eyes, but you didn’t find your heart weeping for him like it would have months ago.

You stop moving, tense, dead silent. John can only regret his words and actions so much, but when you’ve been acting like this, he feels more justified in his feelings for Ghost.

But he wanted you too, he wanted you back and normal again. Happy to see him, in love, always talking his ear off and eating the food he’d make for you. The happiness in the air whenever he came home from being gone for months on end at times.

Months… with Ghost. As much as he missed you, he was never as lonely as you were, huh? Never as loyal.

Maybe he should have expected this.

“Well you seem to have the time for Ghost. Why don’t you go to him? It’s what you’ve been doing anyways.” You grit through your teeth, moving across the room to finally change, deciding on what you needed to do first. From the embassy to the lawyer, your mind is running wild and John begging at your hip like a lost puppy isn't helping.

“That’s not fair, Hen…” He whispers, standing in the same place, watching you throw on your clothing and tuck your braids into your hood, desperate to keep warm from the chill. Lord knows “Johnny” wasn’t going to warm you anytime.

“It isn’t fair I lost my husband to a Ghost. Looks like nothings fair nowadays.” You go on, pushing past John to grab your phone and wallet from the nightstand, not responding to his small “goodbye” as you leave the room, and the house soon after.

Yeah, nothing seemed to be fair. Not for him. And especially not for you.

“I’ll be fine. Probably gonna focus on work… friends… family.” You mumble into your drink, deciding to mimic your friend's earlier actions and take a large swing of the liquor, needing to numb your mind for a quick second.

“But not yourself?” She mused, tilting her head, a sad smile gracing her face.

“You would know how to do that best, I’m guessing?”

“What do you mean?”

“Focusing on yourself, and only yourself, after a break up,” She rolled her eyes at you, finding irony in your words, before moving to grab the bottle of vodka and refill your cups of uncertainty and sorrow.

“Valeria.” You finished, and she perks up at her name, clicking her tongue against her teeth before continuing her questioning of you. There's a cheerful sway in her movements and it leaves worrying thoughts only to fester.

“Oh, I know very well. But, that's why you're here, no? To focus on you, and your own needs.” A sigh leaves you once again, and at least you know your lungs are working, while your brain short circuits in reasoning and logic.

“Yeah. My needs, a place to hide, a place that they’ll never find me. Until I go back, that is, a girl needs to work, needs her money.” You finish another glass, and your mind spins, Valeria finds glee in seeing your tongue loosen and speak your mind.

“Two birds with one stone. You get your privacy until you decide on what to do, and I have a piece to use against Los Vaqueros and their friends, a win-win.” Her smile is wide and your heart stutters.

“A piece against them? Or him?”

“Does it matter?”

“I guess not.”

Your glasses are filled once again, and clink to a toast, a promise is made and leaves you both satisfied after this night.

You both will get what you want and need, soon enough.

[piosplayhouse]

oh my god. I'm sorry for sending all these asks lmao you never have to read or post them I just gotta. I connected my su she thoughts to the interaction in svsss that made me think them initially, so this is about Ming Fan, and not Su She. When Shen yuan is outside of the book, like us, it's fine to look at the cannon fodder characters and to know they are cannon fodder. characters are not people, they can't be mistreated like people, etc. but when he's IN the story, he stops (relatively gradually) interacting with the characters As characters and starts interacting with them as people. Not roles in a narrative, but complex, and with potentiality. (It takes him longer to do it with Lbh but that's something else). Characters, when viewed from the outside, by us, are cogs in a machine that we can project on and play with, but they are cogs and they are fixed. When viewed from the inside, they become moving, living creatures, with an unknown future, agentivity, etc. What Bothers Me Then, about Su She, and was highlighted by Shen Qingqiu having empathy for Ming Fan, is that often times, characters from within the narrative look at him (su she) like they're outside of it. They Know he's cannon fodder. They Know he can be punished without consequences, They Know he's never gonna be good for anything else and never had anything good to say. And they're right, and the story will reward them for knowing. This isn't about Su She or Ming Fan being complex or being more than just evil. (Ming Fan gets to veer of course precisely because that gaze on him changes, which I suppose might be the point of svsss). Su She can be garbage fire if the story requires it. He can be trash man. It's fine. It's about other characters within the same story treating him like they're the readers or the author, and Knowing that he's nothing but bad, or cannon fodder. You can know what's going on in your story, but your characters should not know what's going on in the real world (unless you're being subversive). There, I got it. Now I'm gonna leave your ask box alone, thank you for your patience lmaoo

I AM SO SORRY I DIDNT PUBLISH THIS EARLIER AHH ITS SO GOOD

Do not dare be ashamed of putting this in my askbox the meta girlies are gonna love this one i swear

Personally I think you brought up a lot of good points and really made me think about something I've never considered before. Imo where Ming Fan is positioned as canon fodder from a narrative standpoint, Su She takes on that role less out of necessity and more as a side effect of Wei Wuxian's idrc perspective on life-- wwx doesn't see Su She as canon fodder because he doesn't see him at all, he's neutral in wwx's story because he's non-existent in his memory. Where Ming Fan is static in that he's a trope, Su She is static in that he's sort of one of the classmates you had in high school that you might just barely be able to remember if you heard his name at a class reunion or something. Where your thoughts come in is how this intersects with fandom I think-- because there's all that blank space there, fans fill in the gaps with what they think Su She should be, which defaults more often than not to a character egregious enough to be justifiably disregarded by the main character. Obviously not saying Su She is intended to be good, but I do feel like there is like . An unconscious protagonism atmosphere that makes people eager to assign side characters tropey antagonistic or protagonistic roles in the main character's life that does permeate a lot of mdzs fandom. So full circle back to scum villain and Ming Fan becoming the school bully(tm) and only that of binghe's life! Hahaha this is so fun

Thank you for your thoughts as always wise anon 🥰♥️ everyone feel free to leave your comments as well but remember to be extra nice because I already fucked up posting this like a month after it was sent so we have to make it up to anon!!!!!!

[wifegideonnav]

Okay, so I get that I think Tamsyn has said that while you can draw some clear parallels (Gideon is Female Dave, Harrow is Rose, Ianthe is Vriska), obviously Homestuck and TLT aren't one to one, in the same way that the two other big Would Not Exist Without Homestuck pieces of media, Kill Six Billion Demons and Undertale/Deltarune aren't one to one with it either. That being said. I would like to submit. Isaac is Tavros.

😭 that's so mean. to isaac. wtf.

i don't really see it but let me counter with:

babs is the tavros. obviously i've posted before about how his personality/aesthetic is similar to cronus ampora, but if you think about his relationship with ianthe, i feel like there's definitely some similarities to tavros and vriska.

now ianthe "being a vriska" is something i have a LOT of thoughts about, which i will. probably write out at some point. mainly, while they share surface level plot points and arm deficits, their motivations are very different. i've been holding off tho bc there's a lot we still don't know abt ianthe's motivations while the series is still unfinished. but in general, vriska is a child who has no idea what she's doing and just wants to be safe (although she thinks she wants to be important - and she does, but because she thinks that if she matters enough, she'll stop being vulnerable, both emotionally and physically), whereas ianthe clearly has some actual irons in the fire. (given what little we know about the tridentarii's parents and childhood, i could 100% see ianthe trying to protect herself in a similar way, but we just don't know enough to be sure.)

but to compare babs and tavros:

both the "some guy" wedged in between some very toxically codependent girlies

both killed (run through) with their own weapon by their counterpart in a mysterious facility during a very tense afternoon

you can't tell me that if it was relevant, vriska wouldn't be happy to chew on tavros (use his body for what she's trying to do)

both an intimate part of their counterpart's ascension, in opposite ways

that last point is the most interesting to me, because vriska's ascension involved her own death and ianthe's ascension involved babs's. vriska begged tavros to kill her, and he would not, leaving her to die alone and in pain, whereas ianthe had no qualms about killing babs. as we learn in the unwanted guest, babs's soul has had an effect on ianthe's - they are fusing, in a sense. compare that to the very brief existence of tavrissprite, whose constituent parts could not reconcile and merge. in the end, vriska has always been both obsessed and disgusted with tavros because the world has allowed him to be soft, and kind, and nonviolent - all things that she was never given the chance to be. whereas for ianthe and babs, they have always been fighting side by side, concealing corona's secret and managing third house high society.

so essentially, babs is a tavros who has been strong and active enough to both protect and support his counterpart. while ianthe killed babs because she needed power for whatever she has planned, and she is always going to prioritize coronabeth over anything and anyone else, she had no real beef with him and saw him as, if not an ally, then at least a means to an end whom she didn't mind being bitchy with in the meantime. meanwhile vriska killed tavros not out of necessity or duress, but because he had betrayed and abandoned her at her moment of greatest need and vulnerability, and then decided to be her enemy.

to be honest you didn't ask for any of this longass response lol but to be honester its my blog and i get to rant about vriska if i want 😌 i'd be interested to hear your case for why isaac reminds you of tavros tho! bc i seriously do not see it at this point lmao

[immunologies]

look at my land developer dawg i’m going to jail 😫

lmao hiiii everyone! i’m anwar (not hadid) + always writing for underused model fcs but anywhooo — thank god for reopening bc i was supposed to app during the first launch but i was on vacation so my activity would’ve flopped real bad BUT… I’M HERE NOW… a lil jet lagged still but fuck it we ball :’) i present to you: iida!

navigate: general info / about / pinterest

sparknotes!

tw / suicide

okawara yosuke, 33 (proud twink death survivor btw he left that long haired era behind in his mid 20s), born and raised in fukuoka prefecture so you know he’s a bearer of the masculinized stereotype that kyushu men have but surprisingly his ego isn’t as fragile as i would expect it to be — i wonder why?

lower middle class to middle class financial status for the entirety of his childhood / it’s one of those things where as a kid you’re like “well, this is it” because you’re not fully aware that your family doesn’t have money on top of being surrounded by other kids who, in return, also come from families without bands so it is what it is / it can’t be that bad when your necessities have always been met

tbh there’s not much to write home about in terms of his childhood as in it was fortunately(?) uneventful for the most part despite starting off rocky: his mom was barely twenty when she birthed him, two freshly married young adults rushed into the hard-bitten chaos of childrearing, do they resent bro in absence of trying to enjoy the beginnings of their married life? probably, but it doesn’t matter by the time his younger brother is born, soo la voo or whatever the french be saying (tiktok reference btw if ur uncool)

yosuke is your average kyushu boy growing up: he spends his time outside rather than inside with his head in the books (it’s the same shit his teachers would always say about his lack of potential, ie: he’s lazy), has boyish fights with his younger and complete opposite of a younger brother, tries his best not to piss off his stay-at-home mom and stay away from his chronically emotionally constipated aviation mechanic drunk for a dad, you get the idea

…UNTIL the voices started to become apparent more than ever and he tells his mother who dismisses it but is reminded of her grandfather who unalived himself from alleged schizophrenia but nobody in her family knows if he ever got tested for it (y’know, if it was a genetic hereditary thing) or if it was just the aftermath of unresolved trauma/ptsd because grandpa fought in the war (you know which war) NOBODY KNOWS A GODDAMN THING. except yosuke as a child hated going to see his relatives in the far village/countryside on his mom’s hick side

lmao but when yosuke told his mom “yeah girly pop dad’s gonna have a shitty liver if he doesn’t stop drinking so much in the next couple years or so” is when she drops his ass off at a mental health facility so she definitely prioritizes her man over a kid that she wasted her 20s raising! (she’s definitely an unevolved libra no shade to yall sorry) but anywho! he’s diagnosed at 17, life is looking brighter(?), but his “schizophrenia” isn’t something talked about much at home because let’s be serious. it’s fucking abe shinzo’s japan at the time, we do not talk about shit like this

yosuke goes on to carry two jobs after high school because his parents didn’t save a college tuition fund for his lazy, non-academically inclined ass so it’s up to him to be the architect of his future / he’s psyched about entering the aviation department of kyoto university after working his ass off by trying to build a humble living but somebody’s bored and filthy rich daughter from a zainichi korean family comes into his life and what does he do? say goodbye to the ol’ pilot dream and traps this woman so he won’t ever have to worry about money like his family did

mind you he actually had love for the old girl! but he’s a gemini and gemini men get bored when you’re not their outstanding type or half as witty or clever as he may be. he knows that he’s settling for what poor lee jiyoung can do for him so after dating in college, yosuke goes on to marry the woman but never goes on to tell her about his “schizophrenia” because he’s scared that it’ll ruin his marriage (spoiler alert: it did)

so uh *scratches head and turns the page* they end up divorcing because his condition worsened as a result of his body becoming “immune” to the medications because he never had schizophrenia in the first place (ie: iida canon) — and he tried saving the relationship for the sake of his position at tk group, he really did, but at the end of the day he’s just some penniless, opportunistic man who failed to completely use up his wife’s beneficiaries. but again, he’s a gemini man who’s good at playing the part of using his “mental health” as a crutch of their failed marriage instead of being exposed for taking advantage of his ex-wife financially

(trust me he’d rather be that Type of Shitty instead of portrayed as the Exploitative Type of Shitty because it gets some pity points on his end. believe the scheme!)

so now? okawara yosuke takes up the tk group’s little passion project proposal with goero because it’s a chance at redemption. he needs to prove one way or another that he’s worthy of his job, that he’s the right man for it, his undying loyalty to the corp (questionable :3), and he’s taken the more political and diplomatic approach of gravitating/winning the trust or appeal to goero’s inhabitants instead of the founding families ‘cause his coworker’s already doing that anyways — he understands his shortcomings as a foreigner (more so as a japanese guy telling yall what to do with the land so goero can prosper financially and commodity-speaking for trade.. and commerce..) so if he can strengthen his morale to the people even if it doesn’t mean the quota won’t be met — yosuke would prefer that for the sake of ethics. he will promise the residents of goero that much: business or not.

that is all. i think. :-) i’ll be yapping for specifics on discord if needed be

personality!

likes to think of himself as an ambivert over being written off as an extrovert which is kinda true? despite being a professional yapper with those he’s suuuuper comfortable with, he finds that people who don’t match or vibe with him tire him out very quickly / genuinely a very friendly person and is emotionally inhibited probably as a result of his career where logic/numbers/analytics are concerned so yosuke prefers to focus on reason over the “possibilities” … even tho he would like to be that optimistic / isn’t one to have an extreme temper, but can be prone to outbursts if incompetence is in question / really. really. hates the notion of being black-or-white on many matters as life usually puts him in the grey area so. u know. atm doesn’t have any ulterior motives because he doesn’t have it in him anymore to be evil or whatever. he ran out of plans. just trying do the right thing from here on out, so, let him help you! bro’s probably a lawful neutral man i know i’m sorry for being boring :/ c’est la vie

connections!

i prefer brainstorming over anything and i’m down for just about everything so hit me

[tridentqueen]

share your thoughts about ep 1 and pls give us a spoiler

Hello! Thank you for asking ❤️ Putting everything under the cut!

Just in case: I do not mention book spoilers for the Dance itself, but I do bring in like one or two points from Fire & Blood related to scenes in the episode.

This is all going off memory, so it might be a little jumbled. Also, this is not an invitation to start team discourse or character bashing. That’s not what this blog is for. That said, I’m happy to talk more about the episode if anyone wants!

Overall I thought it was a good episode until the end (more on that later). The beginning was a little rough with the number of short scenes/cuts (is that the right word? lol), but I totally understand the necessity of getting all the major players on the screen in the first few minutes.

I am a Stark girlie first, so it was nice to see the North again and hear the Winterfell theme. With very little direct mention of the White Walkers, I’m curious to see if the show leans into the Song of Ice and Fire prophecy going forward. This is a complete aside, but I’m not really sure how I feel about it. I’m pretty sure Aegon’s dream came straight from Martin, but idk if I buy that the knowledge survived Maegor. Maybe Aegon the Uncrowned told Rhaena, and she told Jaehaerys? I don’t know.

ANYWAY I guess I thought we would have a longer scene with Jace and Cregan showing more of their friendship or bond, but with only 8 episodes this season the writers couldn’t really allow that to breathe. In a world with 9 or even 10 episodes this season, I think (and this is totally off the cuff) a good premiere would have covered Jace’s time in the North, Rhaenyra searching for Luke and deciding that she will go to war, Team Black’s grief, the Greens finding out about Luke’s death and their reactions/realizing war is no doubt inevitable now/etc. and leaving Blood & Cheese for the second episode.

Rhaenyra’s scenes were extremely powerful. Emma is such an amazing actor, and you can really feel Rhaenyra’s grief and anger. Jace’s return, their embrace, and Luke’s funeral were excellent. I wish there had been more time to explore their grief, but I get it.

Rhaenys’s “Would that you were king” was so great lmao. I loved Rhaenys in the book, and I’m looking forward to seeing her role this season. Corlys wasn’t really in the episode a lot, but his scene with Alyn was interesting. It wasn’t clear to me what exactly their relationship with each other is at this point, but we’ll see how the show approaches it.

I don’t have super strong feelings about Daemon telling Blood & Cheese to go after Aemond. I know before the episode aired some people were mad because they thought it was going to be another case of misunderstanding/them going rogue on their own, but I thought the episode made it pretty clear that he told them off-screen to kill Helaena’s son if they couldn’t find Aemond. Jaehaerys and Helaena were the targets from the get-go in the book, and there is lots to be said about the dishonor of targeting a child during a war and the psychological damage his death was intended to inflict, but this is a change I’m personally okay with. I totally understand if people aren’t, though.

Aegon was great! I’d seen TGC being referred to as one of the standouts of the first four episodes, and wow is that completely right. He seems to me the type of dad who likes to play with the kids but then won’t discipline them haha. Tyland beefing with Jaehaerys was hilarious. Aegon is still new at the whole king thing, and I’ll admit I was side-eying him a little with Otto when he was like “yeah, everyone can get everything they’re asking for, it’s whatever” but as my friend (and others) pointed out it completely tracks with him wanting to be liked by everyone. It also is a good continuation of his coronation scene – you can see him transform when the crowd starts to cheer, so it makes sense that he’d want to keep that energy going, especially with a rival claimant.

Also, I think Otto is such a fun character. Him immediately turning to walk up the steps of the throne as soon as Aegon said anything was so funny to me. I know a lot of people hate Otto, but I do think he’s a good Hand of the King.

I’m really interested to see how Alicent’s arc goes this season, how much influence she’ll have as the war goes on and all that and how she’ll feel about everything. Right now her and Otto are both frustrated by Aegon (and Aemond) so I’m excited by the potential there. I’m also curious about her reaction next episode – she’s still wanting peace right now (understandable! Dragons going to war only brings death and destruction, fire & blood) but that might change after Jaehaerys’s murder. We shall see.

I’m fine with Alicole happening because it was clear in season 1 that they were devoted to each other, but I wish we had gotten more build up to it rather than just starting the episode with them together because it just raises a ton of questions. When did they start, being the obvious one. And them being together during Blood & Cheese was ridiculous. I’ve seen some people blaming them for it even happening, which is also silly.

On the topic of Blood & Cheese… wow I hated how they adapted it. The entire reason they sneaked in through the secret passageways in the book was because of the sheer number of guards in the Red Keep. Yet in the show there’s not a single one in the wing in which the royal family reside? Please be serious. And them just walking through the throne room? Stop. I’m assuming they’re trying to go with everyone having a sense of guilt over it but come on.

And Helaena’s reaction was way too muted. I understand that she was disassociating, but to only have her offer her necklace and then just point Jaehaerys out? No. My friend mentioned to me that in Helaena’s first scene she is saying something like “they only want the boy,” which I completely missed, so she apparently already saw it happening. And I think that could have opened the door (and maybe it will in future episodes, I can’t say) to explore how Helaena’s dreams “work” – the show hasn’t really done a lot with it, and I think it would have been really powerful if Helaena did all she could to try to change it. A “I saw this happening, but I’m going to fight tooth and nail to prevent my dream from coming true and prove the future is not set in stone” type of thing and then the tragedy of maybe it cannot be changed, after all.  

Blood & Cheese is one of (if not THE) worst moments of the entire Dance and it’s a moment that was supposed to really make the viewers ask themselves “what is the cost of the Iron Throne?” And the heartbreak of Helaena, after realizing Blood & Cheese will not kill her instead in exchange for her sons’ lives, having to choose between her children and then having to live with that choice. This was supposed to be a Catelyn Stark at the Red Wedding moment, but instead more people are talking about Alicole or the dog being kicked than a child being murdered. Phia’s performance was great though.

All of the actors are phenomenal, and I was super excited to see everyone again. We are so fucking back! (This was way longer than I thought it would be. Anon I’m sorry if you didn’t intend for me to write so much! Haha)

Spoilers for part two (pretty minor imo):

Since Aly and Aegon will be separated for most of the war, there will be more Aegon POV chapters than part one.

I will be including a scene where the Greens find out about Luke’s death because there is so much potential there.

[lucysarah-c]

I did the former HQ of the scouts, the service/staff part of it where Y/N and Levi stayed during the winter break... and it turned out SO CUTE

Disclaimer: I AM NOT sim builder or player by any chance, my friend is and they allowed me to use their game lmao. If this creations look horrendous, sorry. I'm a way worst building artist, I drew faces no beds. Thank you.

An anon asked me to update them in the sims so I did with my friend's account. The ID:stephvet7... neither of us update stuff on the gallery so we tried our best. Btw, I'M not aware if this is "useable" I wasn't going to play in this so I'm not sure if you can play in these lots...plus I don't know how to make roofs so they may not have... or have a really bad attempt of them. Sorry You can check up the other stuff I represented here.

Service kitchen and living area

In my head, the former HQ used to be someone else castle until it was passed down by the government to the scouts and then they moved because it's too far away and, as they say in the manga, it doesn't have water system so it was really impractical. In Hg, the scouts had moved to the new headquarters not that long ago so they are still trying to keep the former HQ in somehow good conditions and well kept. After the fall of Wall Maria, there wasn't enough budget to do that and they abandon it until they used it again with Eren. Therefore, the place isn't that much rotten when Levi and Y/N go to look after it. They, in particular, make use most of the "old service/staff/servants side" that the scouts used to use as the "higher-ups' kitchen". A more packet and less big kitchen and dinning room so the higher ups can cook etc. without interrupting the cadets working in the bigger kitchen and mess hall that's meant to be for a lot of people working at the same time. Therefore, since it's the old service place, it's slightly deeper in the ground almost as a basement? but not completely. This is because it would help to keep food better refrigerated.

Once the storm began, Y/N and Levi agree on move to that side of the castle because is smaller and easier to keep warm. That's why I added the mattress on the floor and all the clothe stuff lmao. And before you wonder, most of that stuff is Y/N's ... she overpacked lmao.

I wanted to add this idea of crowded because there's stuff from the scouts that they left before going, stuff that they stored for living there a couple of months, stuff Y/N brought etc.

The other door in the living area, gives to the open hall that's part of the more "former castle" that had a double sides stairs that give to the rooms on top, before all this, Levi and Y/N were sleeping in one of those rooms. Mostly like the ones we see in season 1. They use the bathroom up there. Once they moved down, they tried to go only for pure necessities., to avoid losing the calefaction. There's not bathroom down, the services sleeper somewhere else so there's no real living area in the castle.

I tried to add all "luggage" in cute pastel colors because most of them are from Y/N... and the ones who aren't (Levi's) were either packed inside a borrowed luggage of Y/N or she shared him something like the sheets lol So everything is quite girly

[rv2xlga]

sigh. another shuake rant that literally makes no sense god be with me pls…

title speaks for itself. not in the best mood rn but i feel like transness was in the air today and even if it gloomy as heck, the air is more pretty.. hmmm sounds like transfeminism to me.

i always and i mean always fall for the transgirl characters even transgirl irl i love transness sm i love femininity, not feminine identifying myself but MY GOD feminine presentation is beautiful, all kinds. and yes, i have to make everything about shuake. i feel like one reason i really like them so much is cuz of my own projections onto them, its uhm.. a lot that goes into all that but in the general, i based akechi on someone i heavily care about and met last year (which when once talking to them told me about how they would think about transitioning like mtf when they grew older) and with that, was born my akechi transfemme headcanon. didnt realize it at the time, didnt realize many things but i also ended up learning apparently i have a thing for transfemme characters and just feminine presenting characters in general! like to list some characters i have hyperfixated on in the past esp in the art category goes from maya fey to saki tenma to akechi in that order and when it comes to some of favorite characters i wasnt able to draw more often due to a bunch of other stuff were characters like phoenix wright and mizuki akiyama and further in both lists is a bunch more. and its true i only listed two characters i really like headcanon as transfemme there but i see phoenix more of a feminine guy, still being cis but liking more pink girly “gay” shit lol and obviously the struggles that come with that. i see saki and maya as more femme girls liking pink and struggling with their femininity in a way that goes with sexuality and what it feels to be the femme one in a relationship or a feminine presenting woman which brings me into my bigger topic.

mi nina bella arquita (arca the singer lol) posted on her story a tumblr post about transfeminity and how difficult the experience is for trans women and mind you im not a trans woman myself but just knowing the experience of being a woman or being born female more like it like i cant imagine what that must be like to somebody who is new to that concept, even if it’s scientifically not very different, i can’t imagine learning that so late in life or whenever u learn it to someone treated as a complete outsider if that makes any sense. and again like i stated early and in no little more to my adhd i always think about akechi, its just a necessity atp. but he was somebody who never got the chance to even think about things like that, like i know what that experience feels like, as a trans person myself and mind you my upbringing was very different than his aside being born female and all, i had the time and the support even if very little and not the best to be honest to think on all those things but he didn’t he had nobody else. that even brings me to akira. i dont headcanon akira as transfemme at all i see him as transmasc very heavily to the point i treat it as canon but anywho, its the same sorta contrast. akechi is so closed off to the idea of his transfeminity, even i feel he would already know he’s gay and interact probably with others online who are, very distantly but yea lol i think he would be a stan twitter reveluv but to the idea of being trans and not just trans but transfemme, is a completely different story for him.

while on the other hand, i feel like akira would be so open to the idea. yea maybe he wouldn’t be outwardly telling everyone “HEY IM TRANS!!” yk lmao but thats not really pride, thats not really what it looks like contray to popular belief and also dont even get me started with the fear of the people around you, the first most prominent point. its a whole other fear a whole other level of boundaries that people cross just to know if you have boobs and a pussy or not, from personal experience its disgusting disturbing and just plain out insane. but i feel like with the right people that he trusts its something its more comfortable to share, even sharing with it sojiro despite his age and the fact that most adults don’t care to respect to understand transness. i feel like akechi would be so terrified to even think about it, the fear of even asking someone he knows is trans (little stalker lmao) because it forces him to think. and it makes others question yk you don’t really ask someone “hey what does it feel like to be trans” for a friend lol.

i also think about shuake as a whole too the fact that i think akechi would grow that level of comfortability to even ask at some point, probably right before he’d die but the effort was put you know? the question was asked, the barriers were broken and i think their love is so beautiful because even with anything and everything, akira would still be there for him. not just because akira loves him which to be honest, probably has a much bigger sentiment but in a way, that just sorta feels like an obligation right? akira wants to be there for akechi because he knows what that feels like even if, no he really doesn’t because being a trans woman and being a trans man are very different experiences it all ties back to the same string. men and women really aren’t that different, we’re all human and the literal same species. we all have brains and can think for ourselves and oh does the list go on. the experience is obviously very different societally, which can not be ignored with our current society but again, he wants to be there for him because hey, you’re a transgender person like me too. the support and comfort i never had. pushing that extra level of questioning and testing and support and validation and whatever it may be because yes being a transwomam not have been the same experience akira went through but he is still trans and in that simple word lies some kind of a connection and the type of support he was never given. he had to learn it himself and he’s just passing it onto akechi. like again again, yes he loves him but he knows what he needs and like ugh. that is just so beautiful i love solidarity

its so many things that make their relationship for me that i feel i will never find again. something so beautiful in the complex, no little thanks to my multiple personality disorders as if one wasn’t enough. something so beautiful in the support and love you can offer somebody and i wish wish wish wishh transphobia wasn’t such a PLAGUE in everything! like ugh naoto, the storyline you deserved… honestly fuck atlus with all my heart tbh♥

[metanoiashawty]

I just spent an ungodly amount of time taking these nails off and I can say...never again. But during the process I had several realizations which I'm grateful for. The first being, I never do self care days. I should start. I literally just don't spend enough time focusing on my appearance and feel like I wanna change that this year. Not out of necessity but because I really feel like being more intentional with the way I present myself will result in me receiving that energy back and just carrying that energy also. The second is, I think ima finally grow my hair back out. I feel like I've mastered the art of detachment from it as much as I can for now and now it's time for something new. I have some ideas, I think it'll be cool to actually have fun with growing it out because normally I've just missed cuts and looked up and boom lmao. More responsibilities and just neglected it because it was too much. Now I'm like okay, it's an extension of myself so I should treat it with the same love and care as I should be treating myself. So, lots of thoughts and all of them are just "girl, be more vain" lmao. I feel like people always boxed me in to the natural girl so I always steered away from anything else unless it was like, a special occasion. Now I'm realizing how much I hate people acting like my naturalness is a statement when it's really just laziness lmao. Not entirely laziness but still  idk I feel like I just wanna break myself out of boxes this year but not solely to do so but to free myself from the things I don't realize. Like I wanna be motivated by my own thoughts and desires and not just "people like me this way so I'll be this way". Like I know I'll never be a lacefront girly and I'll never be a full set every 2 weeks girly but I think there's some middle ground between that and all natural all the time. Not saying I'll do perms cause I'm still anti that but going back to how I used to be in middle school and early high school before I realized the identity others created for me based on me just being myself. I wanna have fun with stuff again. Especially my appearance. I used to stay being creative and view everything from my clothing to my hair as an extension of myself and an opportunity for self expression. Somewhere along the way I just got comfortable with the narrative people created and started neglecting other parts of me. So that's a goal of mine this year, become a hybrid of 13 year old me and 17 year old me with all the discoveries of 25 year old and the curiosities of all versions of me that never got to be curious because she had to solve problems. Or something like that. I told someone I was done being deep and was gonna just go back to being unbelievably sexy because people think you can only be one or the other but, I lied lmao. Ima just go back to being everything but learning that I can in fact do things on my terms and as long as it feels good in my heart I really don't have to think too much about anything else. I'm realizing this is a long way of saying I'm just not seeking validation the same way and really only care what I have to say because ultimately, none of this is real and I get to customize my avatar however I want. I was always the one who randomly dyed her hair and popped up the next day with a purple fro and acted like it was the most normal thing in the world. I miss her. Her fearlessness. Her confidence. Even though she was deeply insecure in other ways I'm just proud that she existed and she chose to exist so loudly at times when just being black and having natural hair was already statement enough. I was such a trendsetter. I just wanna get back to her without all the fluff of other people's opinions. And the fact that it's on my heart tells me it's not only possible but necessary. Into my cacoon I go lol.

[hilarychuff]

for the fic writers questions: 3, 4 (fic choice up to you), 7, 12, 13, 41 & 42 :)

ty for sending so many!!!

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

ummm they're very demisexual a lot of the time 🥲 nobody kisses until they're in LOVE love usually lmao. or at the very least a strong basis of "i love you as a person" before it gets to "i'm in love with you"

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

i think there are a lot of really fun easter eggs in howl!!!!!! there are lots of horror references in scream but given the sansa pov i sprinkled in a lot of romcom references in the first howl. in scream 2, the initial victims have names related to the victims from the first scream, so in howl 2, i kept that true to the ~message~ of the killer but pulled scream character names for the other bits of it. so like in scream 2, the initial victims are maureen evans and phil stevens — ghostface's nods to maureen prescott and steven orth. in howl 2, my initial victims needed to be references to catelyn tully and ned stark, so i named them tully prescott and eddard becker (like casey). also the moment when tyrion is talking about going on a talk show i changed it from diane sawyer to gayle king so it could be a lil wink to gale weathers. :)

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

lmao the worldbuilding in all the right reasons (all the right places) is probably unnecessarily complicated for what the fic needed to be!!! obviously i did not create the bachelor world BUT i did get very into like. ok. steve is the bachelor. how did he BECOME the bachelor. how do i adapt his canon storyline. if he's besties with robin it's presumably after a fall from grace. and i pulled a lot of bachelor storylines to build that out like.

it's very much a combination of nick viall going on the show a bunch of times/being kind of a dickish runner up plus becca kufrin last minute swap sympathy arc plus nick viall paradise redemption to bachelor journey but i think if you look at it it really mirrors his canon storyline!!! also all the names of girlies mentioned of seasons past/present are names pulled from stranger things canon so that's fun too

but yeah i mean given that it's basically all back story before the fic even starts (also that it is secondary to the main chrissy/robin romance) it was really more just for fun and to make the world make sense to me of how we got here so!! i think it's interesting

the background targaryen/martell politics for the royal records (jonsa princess diaries au) was also fun and took me a bit to stump through before i was like ah ok i know why dany would now be seeking jon as an heir

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

hmmmm. the only thing that really comes to mind here is like... omegaverse lol. it's still not really my thing (the animal aspect of it doesn't really have any appeal and scent glands in particular is a squick that i also simply do not understand like what are they supposed to be!!!) but i can fuck with the elements of it that's like. soulmate adjacent. biological irrepressible need to fuck RIGHT NOW!!! also this person smells great to me and everyone else is blech. lmao.

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

much as i love an au i'm not really into crossovers at all which i used to be much more willing to entertain. i'm a very like "this must make sense" type of reader/writer and it's a lot of logical leaps for me usually. i also used to be a lot more willing to entertain incest ship stuff (which was sometimes a necessity for jonsa) but i much prefer when that is not an element at play (so like a modern au where they're not related at all, or a canon interpretation where they know they're not siblings by the point they come to care about each other romantically).

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

i think i don't have the energy to really attempt this but i looooooooved chrissy and eddie's infinite mixtape from @little-scribblers-heart and especially loved how rosie included references for each chapter in the notes at the bottom. i thought it was a really cool way to incorporate either knowledge about the era or all the research put into it!!! the writing of the fic is amazing in general but i was always super impressed by the work that went into that aspect of it, too.

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

not to put her on blast but @beholdthemem will occasionally spoil me with gorgeous in-depth psychoanalysis about my characters and that always makes me go 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 whenever she has thoughts about something i've written i always know i am going to be given a very special gift!!!!!!! these days we're usually chatting over discord rather than leaving comments exactly (btw if anyone wants to be discord friends always feel free to hmu in tumblr messages) but it still counts!!

that said every comment means a lot to me 😭 especially if it is about how a fic made you feel or a lil bit you really loved or a lil bit of commentary on piece of it. truly i am fueled by comments!! motivated by comments!! and i try not to beg for them but i do need them to keep going!!!!!! so anytime someone takes time to leave a thoughtful comment know that i am thinking about it and going back to read it a couple of times!!

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

239 of 2023

Created by chasingghosts

What TV shows are you watching at the moment?

The Big Bang Theory, and rewatching old British sitcoms. I’d like to keep up with Gossip Girl, too. Yeah I know XD

Do you enjoy having deep, philosophical conversations?

I’m not smart enough lol. And not good with words.

Have you ever studied human anatomy?

Not, like, professionally. But it was mandatory to learn in our schools.

Do you plan to do much or go anywhere tomorrow?

I had nice adventures today, so tomorrow will be resting day with some groceries on the way, I think.

What was your favourite fairytale when you were growing up?

I can’t think of any.

Did you feel bored before you started this survey?

No, I had things to do. I have a life, you know?

Have you applied for a job recently?

No. I’ve been having the same job for almost 9 years and I have a permanent contract at work, so. There’s no need to apply for anything these days.

Do you have vivid dreams?

Sometimes I do. Mostly about trains XD

Would you have more word documents or images saved on your computer?

A fair amount of both.

Have you ever experienced severe health anxiety?

Yeah. You know, I have a neurological disorder that is really unpleasant at times.

Do you have a drink with you right now and if so, what is it? If not, what would you like to be drinking right now?

No, I don’t fancy anything at the moment.

Are you home alone right now?

Yes, my husband is on his way home from work. His son is at the football training and he’s gonna be back soon as well.

What do you use - haha, lmao, lol, rofl? Something else entirely?

Lol I think, but not in conversations. I’d rather say mo how zeg XD

What noises can't you stand to hear?

Scratching on glass, oh my. It makes me shiver.

What's your favourite pasta shape?

Penne, I think. I don’t really like long pasta.

What state, territory or province do you live in?

West Flanders.

Would you rather be sleeping right now?

Yeah, I’m gonna go soon.

Are you still in touch with anyone you went to high school with?

Yeah, but briefly.

Do you use the Notes app on your phone much? If so, what for?

I don’t. I rather use a book calendar because I enjoy writing on paper.

Who did you last have a deep conversation with?

Probably with my husband, about how my health problems affect me mentally. Because they do, they really do.

Do you prefer floral or fruity scents?

Ftuity, but not in perfume. It’s too girly.

What's your favourite non-dairy milk?

I hate all non-daily “milk”. All of them have awful taste.

Do you have any tattoos? If so, tell me about one.

I have two, the most recent one is a design of triangles and lines. Pretty much djent or math metal XD

Where are your siblings right now?

No idea. She could be partying with her friends, staying in her apartment and/or having friends over, or whatever. She lives in another country.

Which sibling are you closest to, both physically (distance) and emotionally?

I only have one sister, so her by default.

Did you attend pre-school as a kid?

Yes, I did.

What's something you need to buy soon?

I feel we have all the necessities at the moment.

Have you ever been evicted from your home? If so, did you think it was fair?

No, I haven’t.

If you could learn any language, what would it be?

Finnish.

Do you go to cemeteries regularly? Who do you visit?

I don’t. Just for taking pictures, though.

[ohnococo]

soft sunday hcs with reiner zeke and levi and how they would be with their daughter 💗💗

(anon, i don’t know why this ended up so long lmao)

Reiner, Zeke, and Levi with a Daughter HCs

Under the cut for length!

Reiner

He is just the sweetest most devoted father. He does everything he can to be there for his daughter and assure her she is loved at every turn. As a baby he won’t take his eye off of her for a second, always making sure she’s out of harm’s way, and he has that natural ability to always soothe her when she’s crying. He isn’t a helicopter parent, though, he lets her figure things out when she needs to, or fall on their butt when learning to walk. Overall he’s a very hands on parent and will try to be there for every first - seriously, he’ll be SO heartbroken if he misses her first steps or first word.

When his daughter is a child he’s the Fun Dad for sure! He’s happy for his daughter and all her friends to use him as a jungle gym, giving three kids piggy back rides at once or taking turns throwing them in the air and catching them. He’s always ready to play kids games as well, no matter how silly they are. If his daughter is quite girly he will definitely sit down and pretend to sip from the tiniest little tea cup with her and her stuffed animals. He also is that dad that WILL wear a macaroni bracelet or handmade beaded bracelet and never take it off because his daughter made it for him. 

The teen years leave him a bit lost - where did his sweet baby girl go? He was so used to being able to pick her up and hold her whenever he wants, or have her be so excited to see him when he got home from work? He needs to be reminded that this is just what teenagers can be like. Though while his daughter will have her normal preteen-teen angst and maybe rebel a little, she won’t be the kind of teen embarrassed to be seen with her dad. He’s still her best friend deep down, and she still knows that he loves her more than anything. He eventually learns to give her space and let her come to him if she needs anything.

Zeke

Zeke is the dad that brags. His daughter already took their first step. His daughter has two teeth coming through. He’d buy every single toy that his extensive research said helped babies learn well - and try to schedule time to learn. He’ll have to be reminded that newborns aren’t quite ready for those types of things.

This can lead to a bit of butting heads with his daughter once she’s a child - he knows how smart she is if only she’d apply herself. His expectations are just so high and it can put a lot of pressure on his daughter. If she’s like him and enjoys academics then she’ll be his little shadow, with Zeke allowing her into his office while he works, as long as she studies. If she doesn’t want to he can tend to foist her off on her mother for any other pursuits. 

When his daughter is a teen is when things really click for him in terms of relating on a further level. Zeke just remembers what it felt like to be that age better than he remembers being a child, and he starts to give his daughter more leeway. Don’t get him wrong, she will get good grades if she expects to be hanging out with friends or playing games, but he’s not so harsh on the idea of her having some amazingly prestigious career, especially if that’s not what interests her. He’s the dad that can be a bit standoffish, but says “I love you” when it counts most and that almost makes it mean more. His daughter may roll her eyes at him but at the end of the day she respects him, and goes to him when she’s in trouble.

Levi

The newborn stage is surprisingly easy going for Levi. He’s survived many sleepless nights, so that doesn’t phase him too badly. Needing to keep everything the baby touches sanitized isn’t any kind of adjustment for him too (though he will be the dad that buys one of those big sanitizing machines to put toys and bottles in after a thorough cleaning). The diaper changing did kind of bother him at first, but he knew it needed to be done and there was no way in hell he was leaving his daughter in a dirty diaper for more than a second.

With a toddler or child though Levi is actually a fairly doting father. He may not show affection with loads of hugs or kisses, but his daughter never wants for anything - he can’t stand the thought of her being without. She is never bored or alone, and he has a shocking amount of patience for sitting through the same Disney movie over and over and over again with her, just because it makes her happy. He falls somewhere very healthily between hands on and hands off - while she always has the necessities, he will let her learn lessons by figuring them out (while he has a watchful eye on her of course). As a father, Levi is amazing at instilling a self sufficiency and independence in his daughter. She will be confident, she will know how to handle tough situations, and she’ll absolutely be that little kid calling out an adult for rude behavior while he snickers in the background.

The teen years lead to some big arguments for sure - Levi won’t take being disrespected lightly, but overall he gets that she’s just a mess of hormones as she figures out her way in the world. Levi would be very judgmental of friends or significant others though, to the point of getting into a few disagreements with his daughter. Will definitely tell her, “I don’t want you bringing that kid around here anymore, he’s a little asshole.” 

At the end of the day though, he’s a good dad, and other parents will have a little envy for how casually and comfortably he and his daughter speak with each other. 

[cinnachuu]

DATING CHILDE HCS

a/n: I’ve been afk,,simply because of catboys,,,me apologize sincerely

warnings/genre: dating hcs, fluff

•Jesus Christ I love this man

•ok so

•he always lets u borrow his scarf LMAO

•mans gives great hugs

•he loves to cuddle and doesn’t mind PDA, he doesn’t love it per say, it’s just a necessity for him SKSKSK

•a hand lazily draped around your waist or shoulder, his chin resting against the crown of your head, kisses to your cheek, etc

•unlike my Kaeya hc, Childe doesn’t mind being open about jealousy

•he won’t be mean,,,to you. I can imagine he’s a tad bit possessive

•but he’s not toxic!! I think, I don’t think there’s a lot of toxicity but this isn’t kakegurui I need to shut my mouth

•tbh I didn’t like him cuz of his affiliation with Fatui, and if you’re the same as me he reassures u constantly that he’s not mean

•always places his mask over your head and laughs while running away

•he loves those quick kisses, just pressing a quick peck to your cheek and dashing

•if you’re female he loves calling you girlie, if you’re male he loves the pet name babyboy, if you don’t identify with either. Babydoll!

•fuck I love him sorry he’s so cute

•I feel like it’ll take him a while to open up to you,,,not saying he’s not honest, I’m just saying that he’ll avoid getting touchy feely with you for a while. He feels kinda strange about it at first.

•admittedly, he would love if you helped him figure out chopsticks

•his favorite date is fighting alongside you!! he thinks it’s so exciting and he always is admiring you, especially after the battle. You somehow are just so gorgeous, even after getting blown back by an abyss mage.

•he loves your smile. It makes his heart skip a beat or two whenever you flash a grin at him

•he’s very incessant with teasing, but nothing too serious. Just a few light jabs.

•dw dw, if anyone else but him teased you, it’s angery Childe

•he sticks photos (do those exist?) of you and him in his pocket, something to always look at

•I love traveling in Genshin impact,,,which means I’m gone for days. If you’re similar, expect him to welcome you with dozens of hugs and kisses when he sees you again

•writes you letters and always asks about your travels

•you know if we were in modern day he would probably have you as his wallpaper

•KSKSKS he’s my wallpaper

•probably gets upset when you don’t choose him to come for your travels

•”Why are you bringing Venti?”

•”I’m gonna get distracted if you come, Childe!”

• *grumpy Childe noises*

•venti’s sticking his tongue out at him LMAO

•only call him by his fr name when it’s serious, he really hates it when you call him Ajax?? Tartaglia?? (My research got mixed results im sorry) out of serious situations

•loves cooking his special dish for you!

•unless ur allergic to seafood please tell him in advance because he doesn’t know how to help you

•probably will do the Heimlik maneuver out of panic

•loves to spoil you

•his high position gets you a lot of exclusive things lol

•tbh it’s not really good to confront him at first when he’s upset

•his personality is usually pretty neutral around you, however he can really snap and hit heavy when he’s angry, so let him cool down and think for a minute or five days

•god he loves fighting with you, second best date under fighting alongside you

•you always can depend on him to have fun!

[purplesurveys]

669

What is your favorite color for cars? I always just preferred white cos it looks sleek and elegant on cars. What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? Something a little off-white, like shades of dirty white so as not to clash with the bride’s white dress. I like to keep things looking neat or minimalist, so I’ve always thought white is the way to go for mostly everything. What is your favorite color? Haha I’m gonna jump ship here, from white to pastel pink. Do you do drugs? Other than the caffeine in my coffee if it counts, no. If not, do you want to try drugs? I’m open to trying the mild(?) ones like weed, not sure if that’s the word for it but yeah. Definitely nothing hard - I’ve watched enough Breaking Bad and BoJack Horseman to see what those can do to the human body lmao.

Where are you dreaming of moving to? I’ve always thought of moving to Canada, but I feel like it’s too far from where I come from and I fear the possibility of ending up lonely and depressed from the distance. Australia or New Zealand seem like safe choices. What do you do to avoid contemplating suicide? I usually get into such a hole when I spend too much time in my room, so when I feel the thoughts coming in I make the effort to get up and move to the living room so I get some light and background noise. It’s usually enough for me. Would you kill yourself if you had no family and friends? What an insensitive and triggering question. Do you love someone who is a jerk and an idiot? My friends have some idiotic tendencies but I do love them, if that counts. Do you know anyone who should be in jail but isn't? I dunno anyone personally but I’ve read a number of cases where criminals escaped jail or got such a short useless sentence. Has a police officer ever committed a crime against you? No but I’ve had grouchy traffic enforcers yell at me for violations I didn’t know about. I’ve gotten pulled over in cities 20, 30 km away from my city and I don’t know the traffic rules for each city, so it pisses me off when I get yelled at for violations I have no idea I committed??? I get so scared driving out of town because of this lol. Do you want more stuff or less stuff? More. I’ve never denied how materialistic I tend to be. Do you own a pair of Lularoe leggings? If so, do you recommend them? No but this question definitely pops up on a lot of these surveys... Do you think shoplifting for a homeless person is ok? No, but I also don’t think anybody ever has to resort to stealing just to get a necessity. Do you wish you could have love? Deep question, but I think I already get enough of it. Have you ever had a pastor tried to kill you? A lot of priests have killed my Christianity, that’s for sure. Do you want to just disappear? I’d get this feeling sometimes, but the urge hasn’t been seriously bad for a while now. What color is your cellphone? The official name is Space Grey but really it’s just a light shade of black. What's your favorite youtube channel right now? I don’t have a favorite that I regularly tune into these days, but I do catch myself watching old Good Mythical Morning episodes from time to time. Who is the cutest baby in your facebook newsfeed? Ate Jarica will sometimes share photos or videos of her twin godkids and they are the cuuuuutest set of twins I’ve ever seen. I’ve never seen a more attractive pair of kids. Do you feel terrible today? Yeah I felt a little sluggish all day because the weather’s back to being all warm and tropical and electric fans don’t help anymore cos all they do is blow out hot air lmaoooo. I literally slept from noon to 5 PM just to avoid dealing with the heat. Are there any good churches in your town? I dunno what classifies as a ‘good church’ but I generally don’t trust anything Catholic anymore. Where would you travel to if you had cash and a car? La Union. Are you afraid of where you're going after you die? No. I just see death as permanent sleep and honestly it doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Do you sing into your hairbrush? I don’t. What are your favorite songs sung by Christina Grimmie? I never did listen to any of her songs nor was a big fan, but I was destroyed by what happened all the same. Dove Cameron or Hilary Duff? Hilary Duff. Never heard of the other person. Hilary Duff or Lindsay Lohan? Still Hilary. Lizzie McGuire was my life. Who stands out to you as the most down-to-earth celebrity? Hugh Jackman, Tom Hanks, or Jennifer Garner. Have you ever had to live with someone who abused you? Yuh. Do you think attempted murder should be a crime? ...Is it not????? How many people have tried to kill you and gotten away with it? Groan, what are these questions... Are you wondering if there's anywhere you can go where you'll be safe? I don’t wonder about it, I know there’s a couple of places I can go where I know I’ll be kept safe. Why do you think people bully others so much? There’s no one reason for it. They might be insecure, they might be getting abused at home and have no idea how to cope with it, it might be for the simple reason that they’re kids. If you're a bully, why do you do it? Because I got bullied before it. Has anyone ever tried to kill you because they were jealous of you? No wtf? Do you know any racist colored people? Filipinos are among the MOST RACIST people to ever walk this planet, and we’re brown lol. Are you wondering if something that happened to you is sexual abuse or not? No, but these questions are so triggering and offensive that I’ll start deleting future questions that strike me as being such. Which country's flag do you like the best? Nepal’s and Switzerland’s, just because they’re giant middle fingers to all the other flags. Is it hell where you live? Literally, because it’s so hot here; and figuratively, because our government CAN’T DO SHIT. Which big city is your favorite that you've visited? The nightlife in Shanghai was amazing. I wish I got to stay longer there. Which big city do you want to visit that you've never been to before? Chicago. Could you be a contortionist? Never. Do you wish you could make longer survey questions on here? I don’t make surveys. Is your "blocked users" list on facebook long? Not on Facebook, but on Twitter yes. Are you happy? I have days where I am. But I think most days I’m just simply meh. Not happy, but not too said either; and mostly just tired and waiting for the day to end, and trying not to get too burned out while I’m at it. Would you kill someone for money? I don’t think so. Is there anything you care about more than money? Very few things, like my dog and some loved ones. But generally, I’m pretty selfish when it comes to money HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Do you know anyone who would kill for money? Probably.

How many years has it been since you last shared your heart with someone? I’m currently ~sharing it~ if we’re really gonna use that term. But it’s been around four years since I started doing it. Can you remember that last time you had someone who cared about you? Yeah, right now. What's one thing you lose a lot? Pens. Do you know anyone who isn't a bully? I know more non-bullies than bullies. Do you have anyone you can trust? Yep. Which Paramore song do you feel you can relate to the most? Right now it’s probably Caught In The Middle, but only particular lyrics: “I don’t need no help, I can sabotage me by myself, don’t need no one else, I can sabotage me by myself,” and the backing vocals that go with it, “All the glory days are gone, it’s over now, I’m on my own.” Do you have an Invisible Children shirt? I do not. Have you ever had to use an epi pen? Nope. Do you know what Invisible Children is? I wasn’t too familiar with the name at first until I Googled it and the Kony documentary that took YouTube and the world by storm in 2012 came rushing back. Did you have a To Write Love on Her Arms shirt? I did not, but it was the cool campaign to follow like a decade ago lmao. Did you ever celebrate To Write Love on Her Arms Day? I’m sure I did, or at least Tumblr made us celebrate it back then. What holiday is closest to your birthday? It’s usually Easter Sunday. Has anyone ever made your birthday miserable? Yes. Who do you dream of getting revenge on the most? I don’t think of that these days. What color is your favorite pair of shorts? Blue. Are you more boho, hipster, scene, sporty, or girly? I dunno, girly I guess? I don’t really fit into the other types. Fringe or lace? Lace. Dinosaurs or unicorns? Dinosaurs. Do you have a mandala tapestry? I do not. Elephants or koalas? Elephants. What's your favorite Japanese name? I don’t think I have one. I don’t really have enough of a grasp on Japanese names to figure out which ones sound nice to me. Do you wonder if there will ever be anyone who cares about you? There are a number people I know who do. Have you ever shopped at Sleeping Tiger Imports? No. Do you believe in unicorns? No. Do you believe in mermaids? No. Would your rather have wings or fins? Idk, wings. Do you wish you had parents that loved you? They do. Do you own any bellbottoms? No. Do you want to move away? I’ve been planning it a lot, yeah. Can you remember a time when you weren't lonely? Honestly I don’t think so. Have you ever been loved? I am right now. Who do you love the most? Gab. Do you love anyone? ^ Who was the best camp counselor you've ever had? Never went. Are you jealous of anyone? Sure.

[flying-elliska]

What are the important bisexual characters that you said helped you? I am having a hard time finding good bi representation in which they aren’t considered promiscuous or unstable

Hiya anon ! What a quality question, thank you ! Here’s another mini essay about bi rep lmao.  If there are some that I forgot please tell me ! And to everyone, tell me about the bi characters who made an impact on your life, I’d love to know !!!!

Okay so.

-  When I answered the anon and talked about the characters that helped me come to terms with my sexuality, I talked about two in particular. Jack Harkness from Torchwood is depicted as very promiscuous, and somewhat instable. He still meant a lot to me because a) him sleeping around was never that much of a problem, it was because he was from the future, where things were different, which I thought was refreshing and b) his instability was because of the weight of being an immortal hero. Also fanon!Dean Winchester from SPN, as an older, more macho, emotionally witholding, badass dude written as bi meant a lot to me, but he doesn’t really avoid that stereotype either. But at least they were heroes.  However, I can understand wanting bi characters that actually don’t fit that stereotype, because bi people irl aren’t all like that, even if there is nothing wrong per se about sleeping with a lot of different people, or having mental issues to struggle with. And that was a while ago and now we have more and more cool characters ! Such as :

- Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. One of the best portrayals of bisexuality on TV imho. She didn’t start out as bi, she was this tough, cool, scary but with a heart of gold cop who had a lot of other plotlines before. But then, since they saw that a lot of wlw got this vibe from her, were really into her, and the actress came out as bi herself, they decided to use this. So it was super organic, and the way they introduced the subject was true to Rosa herself ; she’s a super private person, she doesn’t like anybody knowing about her life (it’s actually a running joke and Rosa Diaz has been implied to not even be her real name). But then she is dating a woman, and struggles with her parents not understanding and her coworkers find out, help her and support her. Her gay captain is there for her in his typical stoic but hilarious way. They organize game night with her when her parents won’t anymore. We see her crushing on women and dating, but it is treated exactly as the other character’s love life, they never make a big deal out of it. She isn’t the token queer character. She says outright she is bisexual and there is a specific point about her mom not understanding it’s not a phase and thinking she’ll end up with a man anyway, which #relatable. The focus is on the team as found family. Also right now she’s dating a butch woman, which is awesome since they are so underrepresented on TV and I hope we see more of her. That show really is my comfort show, it’s still bloodly hilarious and it really transcends the format to say some really deep woke stuff too, but never in a way that feels on the nose. Everyone should watch it tbh. 

- Korrasami ! Oh my god, I was so blown away when they got together. They’re two characters from the animated series Legend of Korra, they start out as rivals in love who have feelings for the same guy, but as they have to fight baddies together, they become bestest of friends, and both fall out of love with the guy. Then in season 3 and 4, their relationship becomes central to the show, as Asami stands by Korra through some really tough shit. Also, they’re both ultra badass and fight really well together. A lot of fans started reading their chemistry as romantic, but we’d never thought they’d actually go there. But the show ends with them walking into the ‘sunset’ (well, the spirit lands) together, holding hands. Now, it was never completely explicit on the show BUT they were dealing with a lot of censure from the networks and you have to be willingly obtuse not to read it as romantic. And after that the creators drew them on dates, and there is a comic series in which they are shown kissing, talking about their feelings, introducing each other to their families, etc. It made me feel so validated when it happened, and I just adore the whole ‘love triangle ditches the middle one and fall in gay love with each other’ trope. (is it a trope yet ? it should be.) It’s still a kids show at its core, but it has amazing depth and deals with some very deep shit. Korra starts off as a bit annoying but she has a really cool development, she’s a girl character we need more of - brave, dynamic but also brash and reckless and action driven in ways that are almost always exclusively shown for boys. And Asami is a more typical girly girl but she’s also a brilliant engineer and has a spine of steel and she’s also very slyly funny. They’re amazing. And the comics are super cute. 

- Now there are a lot of characters who are bi/pan that I love, and are good characters in themselves, but their arcs do intersect in some ways with promiscuity and mental instability. I’m thinking about Even from Skam and all his remake variants, Magnus Bane from Shadowhunters, several characters from Black Sails, Sarah Lance and Constantine from Legends of Tomorrow, Eleanor Shellstrop from the Good Place, Bo from Lost Girl, Ilana from Broad City, Joe McMillan from Halt and Catch Fire, God/Chuck from Supernatural (lmaooooo), several characters on Penny Dreadful, or in a totally different category, Vilanelle from Killing Eve or Hannibal from the series (who are hella bad guys but it’s never linked to their sexuality, and are also incredibly compelling to watch.)

 And even though these characters taken individually, I would argue, are good rep because they’re complex and layered and interesting and never one-dimensional (and watching them feels incredibly empowering at times)....it’s still a trend. I feel like when writing a character that is attracted to multiple genders, there is always this sort of...tangle of tropes that writers default to, unconsciously. Some negative and some positive. It used to be this trope of bis being villainous, instable, jealous, flaky, immature, perverted, manipulative, cheaters, amoral, greey, etc...and then it evolved into something of a reclaiming and subverting this trope. So now you feel like the Bi Character kind of has to be badass, glamorous, seductive, often superpowered or extraordinary in other ways.. And they also for multiple reasons (they’re immortal, they’re sensitive artist souls, they’re from the future, they’re psycho, they’re exccentric comic relief, they’re daring adventurers and pioneers) don’t care about social norms which allows them to sleep and fall in love with whomever. And so they tend to have those super busy romantic/sexual histories and very troubled backstories. In the past it was a bad thing, now it’s often presented as this positive, enlightened or at least fun and badass thing. They’re heroic, with big hearts, a tremendous lust for life and a cool rebellious attitude. They’re complex, dramatic, tortured. Which can be super cool, too. 

But it would be nice to have more ‘normal’ bi characters. I mean, boring bisexuals need to see themselves represented too ! Our sexualities don’t give us super powers. At the same time, it is true that bisexual ppl have higher rates of mental illness, which deserves to be explored, but it would be nice if it was actually articulated and not just part of this trope.  But still. We need rep, I think, that is more grounded and varied. So I think that’s also why I read a lot of fanfic. (I was really into the idea of bi Steve Rogers for a long time, partly also because he’s both very mentally resilient, kinda boring in a good way, and very unexperienced in terms of sex/romance, which is pretty much the opposite of the trope)

- I think books, and YA in general, are a good place to find these ‘normal bis’ characters. I’m thinking in particular of Leah from Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (from the same book series that gave us the ‘Love, Simon’ movie) which is a super sweet coming of age/romance story about a super normal teenager who just happens to be also into girls (esp her best friend) and is loud and funny and very lovable and has zero doubts about being bi. You also have Adam Parrish from the Raven Cycle, another one of my forever faves ; he has an abusive family so PTSD from that but it never feels tropey, and it’s completely detached from his sexuality. He has magic powers, too. But his character feels completely opposite to the trope. He’s hardworking, somewhat withholding, prickly (and sometimes awkward), ambitious, determined, down to earth, and has a beautiful love story with another boy. And also Jane, from Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore, also really cool ; she’s a nerdy, smart girl who is actually inspired by Jane Eyre who has cool adventures in a weird house where we can follow her on different paths depending on the choices she makes, several of which are love stories. And finally the main character from The Seven Husbands from Evelyn Hugo, kinda fits the trope yeahhh since she’s a super glam actress who well, has seven husbands but it’s a pretty clever deconstruction since it turns out (slight spoilers) that Evelyn is actually through most of her life faithful in heart to the same person and the rest is mostly out of necessity, and her story feels very real and raw and down to earth. 

- I don’t go there yet but I really want to check out Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Schitt’s Creek which I have read have very good bi rep. And I want to catch up on Orphan Black (Cosima and Delphine both don’t have exact labels but they’re multi-gender attracted and they’re this cool couple of scientists in a relationship that gets a happy ending). I will never forgive what they did to Lexa so I stopped watching but I do think that Clarke Griffin from The 100 is very good bi rep. Alexia from Skam France, meanwhile, is a bit of a boundary case for me because, even though she’s presented as the ‘weird one’ from the group, very colorful and liberated and exccentric, she’s still a very normal teen who’s happy and comfortable in her own skin, which is awesome. 

- Disclaimer, I included characters in here that are also pan/omnisexual or don’t have a label but are attracted to several genders, for the purpose of this discussion i don’t think the difference is all that relevant at least to me (i mostly identify as bi for the sake of simplicity but tbh i could also fit under pan so i feel represented by all those characters). But I understand the importance of characters that state their identities more clearly and with pride. 

- So in conclusion : there is nothing wrong with having a sexually active life or struggling mentally (even tho that one is not fun). And I do love all my badass casanova time travelling super powered bis. 

But we need more bi characters that don’t fit that trope. We need bi characters in children’s shows, or that don’t have more than one relationship, or that don’t have a relationship at all, to break the tendency to always show bisexual ppl as overly sexual. We need bi characters in committed relationships to break this idea that bi characters are bound to cheat or can’t be satisified with only one person. We need bi characters that are mentally stable and successful and happy, to show that it’s possible. We need bi characters that are boring, bookish, nerdy, ordinary, clumsy, not particularly seductive, socially awkward, rule-sticklers, etc...to show that bi people are not all party animals, or doing it for attention, or to be wild, rebellious and socially progressive. It’s just a sexuality, it doesn’t say anything about your personality. Even though there are some correlations with MI or being bi might bring you in contact with more progressive ideas and to see life a bit differently, there is nothing automatic about it. 

- In conclusion, reading testimonies from real people also helped me a lot. It’s a very dated but I got the book “ Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out “ when I was struggling with my own sexuality and it helped a lot, to read that even back then (1991) you had all sorts of regular ppl claiming to be bi and that it was not a phase or a fad or whatever.