#Gimli also a gay icon

[dddeaky]

when Gimli saw him for the first time 💘👁️👄👁️💘

[spinningalbinoturtle]

The fellowship of the Kinsey scale aka LoTR characters ranked from most to least fruity

Btw this is a joke (well sort of) so don’t take any of my stereotype arguments too seriously. Although I do genuinely think most of these characters are gay.

1. Frodo- Frodo is gayest the character. He’s constantly described as queer, his deepest connection is with Sam and their relationship is incredibly romance coded. Plus he reads poetry all the time, wears his sparkly elvish top and that fall in Return of the King movie? Homosexual. Not to mention he has THE gay haircut. Man looks like a starbucks barista. Galadriel is his gay icon.

Sam- although more masculine than Frodo and also bi Sam has the second most Gay EnergyTM. He’s a bit overemotional he spends the entire series simping over Frodo and is obsessed with flowers and poetry. When his wife dies he leaves his kids to spend eternity with his husband and the elves. Gay behavior

Legolas- Legolas is a petty drama queen and I love that for him. Loves his dwarf husband. Just look at his hair-no straight man cares that much about their hair. Gay gay gay.

Gimli-a bear but in the dwarf way. Galadriel is also his gay icon. Loves his elf husband. Loves some sparkly diamonds and jewels. Lord of the GLITTERING CAVES you say? Sounds kinda fruity

Gandalf-he’s basically a minor god and thus does not conform to human ideas of sexuality and gender. Literally all the LGBTQIAs. Gandalf Big Naturals , Gandalf the Gay are just a few of this bitch’s many names.

Pippin-Y’all on this app have convinced me Pippin is not cis gender. I don’t know in what form trans, non binary, gender fluid? Honestly could be any one.

Merry-pansexual and very open about it. Just seems like a chill queer dude who smokes a ton of weed and is open to a relationship with anybody

Boromir-excessively emphasizes his straightness but has homoerotic battle moments and after battle showers with his comrades in Gondor. Very repressed bisexual

Aragorn- I think its funny if he’s the token straight but THE BIGGEST ALLY YOU WILL FIND. Literal king passes a bunch of laws enshrining LGBTQ rights cause all his friends are gay

Bonus

Faramir- is transfem and you can’t change my mind. Lesbian with her wife Eowyn. Has bi-to drag queen-to trans character arc.

Eowyn-butch lesbian horse girl and ya know what? We absolutely love her for it. After the war she has a buzzcut.

Bilbo-ace icon. I’M SORRY if you ship Bagginshield but I headcanon him as ace/aro. Hates the idea of sex but wanted kids so he adopted his gay little nephew.

[watercolorofthemoon]

i forced my roommate to watch both LOTR and The Hobbit with me. Here are some highlights

LOTR:

Roomie: I like this gandalf dude Me: Oh yeah me too. he's a bit questionable sometimes but we love him

30 seconds later, gandalf fighting saruman: Roomie: NO MY SKRUNKLY

Roomie: awe sam is a precious boy Me, internally: oh you dont even know the half of it

merry and pippin stealing crops: Roomie: ARE THEY THE BASTARD LITTLE BROTHERS?? me: I mean i gues- Roomie: FOUND FAMILY LETS FUCKING GO

Elrond being disappointed and having strong eyebrows: Roomie: i feel like i've let down my dad and i dont even have a dad

Roomie: i don't really like boromir that much- me, pausing the movie to explain why boromir is extremely valid: I WILL HAVE NO BOROMIR SLANDER Roomie: is this bc he's a himbo

Roomie: this thorin guy sounds pretty gay if he's given bilbo this thing thats worth more than the shire me, internally: YOU HAVE NO IDEA MOTHERFUCKER

gandalf dying: roomie: NO MY BOY

roomie: please tell me gimli and legolas are gay, because everyone else seems extremely straight me: they arguably one of the gayest duos, yes. roomie: oh good. i thought they straight-washed sam for no reason me: i mean. there are a lot of frodo and sam moments that have no heterosexual explanation viggo breaking his toes: me, practically bursting at the seams: roomie: oh god what is it me: DID YOU KNOW-

gandalf is alive: roomie: FUCK YEAH MY BOY

me, explaining the uruk-hai: roomie: fucked up of a yas character to do that tbh (referring to saruman's manicure)

theoden being stubborn at helm's deep: roomie: okay i like him BUT COME ONNN MAN

eowyn picking up merry before they ride to gondor: roomie: I KNOW I WANTED TO KISS HER FOr A REASON MWAH MWAH EOWYN me:...she gets a bf roomie: NOT ANYMORE

aragorn: for frodo roomie, bursting into tears: me: whoa whoa u good roomie: ITS HIS DAD. ITS FRODO'S DAD.

sam literally carrying frodo up a mountain: roomie:...thats a bit gay mount doom blowing up: roomie: thats unecessary and homophobic

frodo sailing to the undying lands: roomie: TAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH YOU YOU COWARD

The Hobbit:

the scene with baby bilbo: roomie: NAUR I LOVE HIM

bilbo and gandalf interacting as adults: roomie: this feels like it could go very wrong thorin finally showing up: roomie: listen im gay but i'd consider it me: he's probably also gay roomie: mlm and wlw solidarity okay we're bffs now

bilbo running out of the door: roomie: again. this feels like this could go very wrong. me, internally: oh fuck how do they KNOW already

thorin throwing down his weapon bc bilbo got caught by trolls: roomie:....thats....sus. me:...if this is sus...oh boy...

thorin's obvious dislike of elves @ rivendell: roomie: okay so. explain to me why thorin doesn't like elves again- me: did you not watch the entire introduction to thorin? roomie: NO WAIT I REMEMBER THE BLOND BITCH

saruman showing up: roomie: ew.

galadriel showing up: roomie: HELLO SAILOR AWOOGA AWOOGA

bilbo and thorin nearly falling off at the mountain pass: thorin: he's been lost ever since he stepped out his front door roomie: WDYM YOU'RE ALL FUCKED UP- thorin stop being mean to your husband

the entirety of the goblin tunnels and gollum: roomie: this does not bode well. at all. the ring showing up: roomie: I WAS RIGHT

azog versus thorin scene: roomie: dumb bitch...OH NO DOES HE DIE- bilbo to the rescue: oh no its chill, just gay

the iconic carrock scene: roomie:....this is incredibly gay bestie me: i'm aware.

the entirety of the beorn's house arc: roomie: ...i like beorn. he's feral and skrunkly. so is radaghast.

legolas showing up: roomie: *surprised pikachu face*

tauriel and kili's interactions: roomie: damn i was hoping she would be gay me: i mean with the right headcanons she can totally be a lesbian roomie: UR SO RIGHT OMG

kili getting shot with arrow: roomie: NO THE GAYS-

the laketown master existing: roomie: EAT THE RICH.

bilbo and thorin on the boat together: roomie: oh they definitely fucked in laketown-

tauriel healing kili and them holding hands: roomie: oh no don't make me feel sad for straight ppl me: again. they don't have to be straight. roomie: I KNOW BUT ITS THE PRINCIPLE OF IT

bilbo waking up smaug: roomie: oh bilbo...oh you sweet summer child...you stupid bitch.

thorin threatening bilbo initially: roomie: oh fuck. it got worse. me, internally: oh honey. oh no.

thorin's gold sickness and then nearly killing bilbo at the ramparts: roomie: NO THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GAY AND HAPPY HOW COULD YOU

*doesn't say anything almost the entire battle until the kili and fili die* roomie: noooo the skrunklies NOOOOOOO

thorin, fucking dies in bilbo's arms: roomie: *turns to look at me with the most murderous look on her face* me: *nervous laughter* so about it getting worse- roomie: IM GOING TO KILL YOU.

end for now, if we end up watching trop together ill let yall know <3

[maeofthenoldor]

I am god and now am giving out sexualities to lotr charachters because no one can stop me. And I have insomnia and sleep deprived.

Frodo: A gay trans man and on the ace spectrum

Samwise: Bisexual and there's a reason I nickname him transwise gamgee. (samfro is t4t)

Pippin: Just a feral nonbinary guy (They/he) and is pansexual. he falls in love easily. Probalbly had a crush on everyone they met throughout the journey. (he even had a crush on tom bombadil because he liked his little gay songs)

Merry: Token straight out of the hobbits and is in love with eowyn, which is now his sexuality.... (I mean i dont blame him)

Boromir: Definitely not straight. I mean have you seen him? gay, absolutely gay

Aragorn: Straight but has questioned his gender many times.

Gandalf: The most aro/ace icon out there. Uses all pronouns. Will trans your gender and turn homophobes, transphobes and general bigots into toads. Move out of her way or you will be crushed by her heels.

Legolas: pretty fluid when it comes to gender, mostly uses he/they pronouns however he really doesn't mind anything else. He identifies as queer.

Gimli: he's a bear bisexual and will kill anyone who purposely misgenders another. He is dating his partner Legolas and has a lot of fun with them when they hunt down bigots.

Eowyn: She is bisexual and also loved merry (except they are both too scared to make the first move)

Faramir: Gandalf helped him transition when he was a child. All he wants is to be accepted by his father. Boromir loves that he has a brother. He is also unlabled.

Denethor: Repressed bisexual.

Arwen: I cant tell if shes straight or bi, but I’m leaning towards the latter

Elrond: The best dad in the world, but otherwise he is also straight.

Bilbo: The gay traumatized fun uncle. Obviously had a dwarf husband, but sadly is widowed. Now he sings his gay little songs and everyone adores him. mood tbh

Eomer: Straight but is extremely supportive of Gimli and Legolas that he cries whenever they do something sweet to one another. It gets worse when he's drunk.

Theodred: Hes not even really in the book but I need to spread my Boromir/Theodred rare pair ship. Hes bisexual obviously. 

Galadriel: Intersex, nonbinary (they/she) and has a hot trophy husband.

Celeborn: the trophy husband, a trans man and is queer. 

Saruman: He is the definition of the queer-coded villain. I mean his name is saurman of all colours and he literally transforms into a gay pride flag.

Tom Bombadil & Goldberry: They deserve to be grouped as one because they are the best representation of a queer platonic couple out there. Goals.

Rosie Cotton: Bi but doe sent really know it, but if she ever met Goldberry, she might then have her awakening.

last and not least we have Sauron himself, and anyone whose read the Silmarillion know exactly what his sexuality is. so go read it.

Anyway tell me your hcs if you have any, I would love to hear them.

[qprsmackdown]

Pearl and Sausage (Empires SMP) vs Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli (Lord Of The Rings)

Arenaduo propaganda: they're fighting buddies they built an area together Pearl stayed with Sausage as his friend even after he got possessed and evil, Pearl died in Sausage's arms, they're part of a larger found family and when Pearl turned into a goddess Sausage became her angel

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli propaganda: i likea them a lot :) • three dudes going on a road trip i hope nothing bond making happens • they can all braid each others hair • i don't know what the actual shipname is but gigolaron sounds funny (my fave is aragimleaf i think its really cute -🦊) youve opened my eyes youre so so so right. theyre just sooooooo. THEY ARE SO QPR FOR REALSIES. legolas and gimli devoted their whole lives to one another and legolas took gimli to essentially elf heaven with him. legolas and aragorn were amazing friends and i think they kissed. the three hunters are so qpr coded to me. they care so much for one another. i have not watched lotr in too long i should rewatch it again but Trust Me Bro theyre SO in love for realsies i got told to vote this by one of the mods. also aragorngimlilegolas resembles my qpr thank you tolkien for making these bitches sooo qpr roadtrip material please. theyre so special to me its about the LOVE and THEYYYY theyre the iconic trio fr and il ove them and i think theyre in gay qp love -🦊

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

TWO TOWERS THOUGHTS!!!!

there are more of these bc the two towers is probably my favourite of the trilogy, despite the distinct LACK of boromir 😔

BUT i did notice a few things that baby birb totally ignored or forgot about!!! find out what they are........below 😈

one of baby birb's fav shots of aragorn was when he's lying across a rock tracking merry and pippin bc it reminded me of that one episode spongebob squarepants where the lads end up riding a rock to the customer's house 🤣 'it's not a boulder, it's a rock! a big, beautiful ROCK!!' lmao

baby birb ALSO loved all the shots of everyone running. as a smol individual, i had to run EVERYWHERE to keep up with the Tall Folk 😒 sure it was nice seeing THOSE feckers sprinting for a change!!

am still very confused about why anyone listened to grima what's his name, ur man's half the way to gollum u know 👀

tangential to the running scenes: i love aragorn's doofy run where he's flinging his one arm about like a silly. reminds me of my OWN unhinged run 🤣 (it is possible that these films are more deeply imprinted upon me than i thought 😅)

'LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!!!'

legolas's FACE every time he has an emotion. delightful

knowing that viggo mortensen broke his toe made me laugh at the helmet kicking scene tbh, i know it's meant to be poignant but that EXTREMELY REALISTIC scream of pain got me going like 🤣

shout out to treebeard holding merry and pippin in his tree hands. i kept thinking 'what if he just. smashes them together like barbie dolls 🤣'

ORCSES. HOBBITSES. i actually love gollum-smeagol, he's too pathetic for me to hate. HE'S LITERALLY SAT THERE SINGING HIS LIL SONG AND EATING A RAW FISH. LEAVE HIM GO HE'S NOT BOTHERING ANYONE ;A;

that gifset ruined everything for me. 'this forest is old......very old....' old as balls. that's just the line now. i no longer acknowledge the original. 😔

cheeky gandalf!! 'u wouldn't part an old man from his walking stick!! 🥺😳😘🤭🙄' (<- this is how birb thought using emojis worked a scant five years ago. be GRATEFUL i was not on tumblr back then, for the carnage would have been GREAT AND TERRIBLE!!!)

i love love LOVE the scene of the trio beating the shite out of the bg guys while gandalf walked slowly toward the king. u just see legolas punching a dude in the face, aragorn ZOOMING round in front of gandalf and off to the side, it's hilarious 🤣

whEN THEY TOSS GRIMA DOWN THE STAIRS LIKE JGY 👀

so many ICONIC lines!!! 'boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!!'

'it's the beards 👀'

U DROP ARAGORN OFF A CLIFF???? OH! OH! JAIL FOR ORCS!! JAIL FOR ORCS FOR 1000 YEARS!!!!

rip eowyn, she's so lonely and sad that the slightest validation from a hot guy she's known for five minutes was enough to make her fall stupid in love with him 😔

(i am also stupid in love with him, but it's different when i do it bc. um. uhhhh. 👀😳)

god he IS great tho, isn't he??? he's so dirty and greasy and wet and soggy, i love him and his dirty face and his dirty clothes and his dirty hands i love him i love him i lo

legolas got SO ANGRY about the orc telling them aragorn went over the cliff, he took it SO PERSONALLY. this makes birb want them to kiss each other 😊

they can kiss gimli as well, i don't mind!!

also the king awkwardly patting legolas on the shoulder like he's a slightly homophobic dad trying to comfort his gay son after a break-up, 'i still care about u but im super uncomfortable so im just not gonna say anything ok?? ok. manly head nod. im out 😐'

OPEN MOUTH KISSING??? BEFORE MARRIAGE????!!!!!!! OBSCENE!!!!!! LEAVE ROOM FOR THE HOLY GHOST!!!

side note: poor elrond, here he is trying to make sure his daughter has a good life and all she wants is to marry the dirty ranger like

'u think u know a girl, u raise her for 2000 or whatever years, organise her birthday parties and buy her a pony and teach her how to control the river, and then in the end she leaves u behind and marries a guy with a fraction of her lifespan, dooming herself to future suffering and despair smh 😔'

also arwen's face when aragorn is breaking up with her,,,,,'what did daddy say to u?? this is bc of what he said, isn't it?! i can't believe he's still interfering with my love life!!!!' ;A;

that lil ~half caress~ aragorn does to legolas's hand when he's returning arwen's necklace to him????? it's like??? idk super romantic??? it made my stomach go SWOOP?? if i stare at a gif of this scene i feel a bit dizzy??? is that weird. am i. weird 👀

i want them to make out with each other, sorry lads 😔

the annoying thing in all these medieval fantasy type stories, when there's not enough men for the war, they're always conscripting 10 year old boys, while the teenage girls and young women without any kids are hiding with the elders and children. LIKE. HOW can u justify sending little 8 yo haleth son of hama to the front lines?? LOOK AT HIM!! HE'S TINY!!! surely a 15 - 21 year old young woman would have a better chance of NOT DYING than a wee lad!!! they're peasants, they're used to hard labour!! do directors/writers etc think it's more ~realistic~ or sth?? do ppl think NO WOMAN ever took up a sword in a crisis??? even if certain things are Not Done (and in some places, even under penalty of DEATH), the Rules tend to fly out the feckin window once there's an emergency!!! I THINK 10,000 ORCS MARCHING ON HELM'S DEEP COUNTS FOR AN EMERGENCY???????

all im saying. is if we're all going to die anyway, then EVERYONE should get a sword. even the kids. ESPECIALLY the kids. it went really well in the walking dead when the lil girls each had a pistol. i promise i can be trusted with weapons i p romi s

the best thing in medieval-style warfare is when the two armies stand across from each other and shout insults back and forth for a bit, like 'you're ugly!' or 'you're smelly!' or 'i slept with your sister, and it weren't anything to write home about!!'

please could somebody fetch gimli a ladder, ur mans can't see above the fecking wall like nnO NO NOT THAT KIND OF LADDER

legolas and gimli counting their kills will never NOT be funny to me

MY KING A BEAST!! LOOK AT HIM GO!!! HE RODE A FUCKING LADDER AND CRASHED INTO A BUNCH OF ORCS LIKE A KILLER WHALE GOING AFTER SEALS!!! ;A;

god when he shoves open those doors and ARRIVEs it's so so so fucking hot. god he is sso hot. he's so hot i love him i love him i

lol they sneak out the side door like 'hee hee hoo hoo, no one shall see us~' 🤣

'TOSS ME!!!!!' *yeets the dwarf*

legolas SHIELD SURFING!!! HANG TEN, BRO!!! GNARLY WIPE OUT!!! 🤙

im sorry

imagine being such an asshole that u make the fucking TREES angry??? like, u make the trees hate u SO FUCKING MUCH. that they literally come MARCHING OUT OF THE FOREST to commit mass property damage???? 👀

when i watched the scene i shouted 'TILL BIRNAM WOOD DO COME TO HIGH DUNSINANE!!!!' out loud but nobody laughed ._.

come onnnn it's funny right??? esp since we know that 'no man of woman born' can kill the guy in the next film!!! iT'S FUNNY, RIGHT??? ;A;

sam and frodo tumbling down the stairs also made me laugh but i paid for it immediately after when sam goes 'it's your sam. don't you know your sam?' fucknig KILL MEEEEE PLS

the most iconic, most beautiful, most painful line of the film-----the one that always makes me cry, the one i couldn't forget if i wanted to, the words that stand between me and DEATH------

'That there's some good in this world, Mr Frodo. And it's worth fighting for.'

GOD. IM FUCKING DEAD 😭😭😭😭 beautiful delivery as well, shout out to samwise gamgee for being the best man to walk middle earth, i will now lie in a puddle of my own tears _(:3」∠)

[swanmaids]

legolas!! <3 and also celebrian mb?

yayayay...

legolas

Sexuality Headcanon: that elf is gay sorry he told me... Gender Headcanon: cool wood elf A ship I have with said character: oh YOU KNOW.... only gimli son of gloin himself A BROTP I have with said character: aragorn!! also i think your ocs for his sisters are soooo cool i care them... A NOTP I have with said character: well. i'm sorry girls but i think @galadrielspeaks iconic post about aragorn/legolas said it all ...the elf is fucking the dwarf. A random headcanon: he's very good at sign language bc the mirkwood scouts need to use that to communicate silently... General Opinion over said character: i care him!!!!!

celebrian

Sexuality Headcanon: i havent actually thought much about this! i guess i default to straight bc i love celrond but she could also be bi. so hmmm Gender Headcanon: best girl A ship I have with said character: ELROND!!! celrond artists and writers i owe you my LIFE. theyve done so much with v little canonical characterisation i love it A BROTP I have with said character: elwing!! i absolutely think theyd be besties in valinor they have a lot in common and elwing would definitely want to take her under her wing (haha. bird) A NOTP I have with said character: does she really get shipped with anyone other than elrond? i can't think of anyone A random headcanon: her physical scars from her torment don't heal in valinor General Opinion over said character: LOVE her. asking jirt via ouji to give us more details

[showstopper35]

LOTR LGBTQ+/MOGAI HEADCANONS!

Disclaimer! This is just my personal opinion based off mainly the movies and the books, and from things the cast/Tolkien has said. Definitely not canon and just for fun!!

Frodo Baggins: He/they pronouns, graysexual aromantic. He and Sam are in a queer platonic romance. When he does feel sexual attractions, they lean towards guys.

Samwise Gamgee: He/him pronouns, pansexual panromantic. He’s a hopeless romantic who longs for a domestic life, which includes Rosie and Frodo.

Meriadoc “Merry” Brandybuck: Look at me and tell me that is not the most transmasc haircut you’ve ever seen. They/he transmac. Bisexual demiromantic.

Peregrin “Pippin” Took: The other half of the bisexual disaster duo. Both bisexual and biromantic, and gets a new crush every week. Has never been on a date in their life. They/them pronouns. Aragorn: He/him pronouns, omnisexual omniromantic. He doesn’t get crushes that often, but he does find a lot of people attractive. He thought Legolas was attractive for a while, which made him realise he has a soft spot for elves.

Legolas Greenleaf: Genderfluid and uses any pronouns. He’s free, like nature. Their sexuality is unlabelled, though he tends to lean towards more masculine-presenting people.

Gimli: He/him, bisexual panromantic. Gets almost as many crushes as Pippin. He and Legolas have an on-again, off-again relationship.

Gandalf: Wizards have no gender, he is a triple A battery: Agender, Asexual spectrum, and Aromantic spectrum. He’s also gay. He doesn’t care what pronouns people use for him. He hasn’t cared about sex or relationships for decades.

Boromir: He/him but he wouldn’t care really if you used they/them. Gay disaster, has women bffs and a major crush on Aragorn. This is true and you know it.

Éowyn: She/they/he non-binary ace for the win. I’m thinking her romantic orientation is unlabelled. She and Faramir started as a QPR and then actually fell in love.

Faramir: Demisexual Demiromantic, he/they. His love for Éowyn is so sweet and pure, the kind of love that only comes with an emotional connection. Best LOTR relationship, FIGHT ME.

Éomer: They/he pronouns, asexual gay? I feel like he hasn’t really figured out yet because they’re just preoccupied with other things. He loves shipping Éowyn with Faramir though, and he ships some of the other riders.

Arwen: She/they, bisexual icon. Powerful and she knows it. A literal badass and only Aragorn is worthy of her. Wants a mix of domestic life and adventure.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

something that no one asked for and no one will understand: those “what your favorite ship says about you” memes but it’s my dnd party/various npcs

brief character descriptions for context under the cut!

rasha: my character, vampire bard, bisexual and very horny for all the npcs, in a slowburn enemies to lovers romance with taer after having bit him, bes is their dead lover

taer: amnesiac half-elf, he/she icon, very sweet to rasha but is also scared of her still from being bit

scamp: my brother’s character, traumatized kobold, is a scaly

junebug: goblin, mom friend, artificer, has a dead husband

rune: we actually retconned her for now but it’s fine,, angsty drow paladin who’s probably gay

alastair: middle-aged monster hunter tiefling, lost his gay lover but we don’t know how

astara: evil succubus, working with the also evil goddess karaza

lyrth: edgy drow, has the same tragic backstory as scamp, hates astara but has fucked her

meran: hot werewolf dude, friends with alastair, got charmed by astara and was sleeping with her for a while

silas: mysterious guy who we befriended but who’s currently betrayed us, had to have an awkward sex talk with junebug when she believed that he and lyrth were fucking

lil’ slippery: this fucking bitch we just met, pretty boy blond elf who’s very dramatic and won’t tell us anything useful, probably fucked kali

kali: rasha’s sister, part of a vampire hunting organization

thamios and celenwe: gimli and legolas but it’s a less problematic relationship

kylar: some random dragonborn we met

[ratsarecute4]

Lotr headcannons I have

Aragorn

He needs to be reminded to bathe or he won't fucking do it

Straight, but he is the biggest ally you will find

Had an emo phase as a teenager and wrote a lot of poetry

Talks about Arwen about 80% of the time. It should be annoying but is actually really sweet

Every year he dons his ranger outfit and hangs out in the woods for a few days to get a break from the stress of being King for a bit

Legalised gay marriage as his first act as King

Doesn't drink enough water

Always tells people they need to make sure to eat and relax but he doesn't do either of those himself

Boromir

Carries candy with him everywhere because Faramir loves candy and he just never got out of the habit of bringing it with him

Thinks of Merry and Pippin as his younger brothers

Aro/ace

Doesn't really understand romance but also gets really excited for his friends' relationships

Secretly loves when the hobbits complain about being too tired to walk because it means he gets to carry them and it makes him feel needed

Talks a lot about Faramir

Loves big dogs. He has several at a time and enjoys taking them on walks and spoiling them

His father owns peacocks and Boromir got bit by one once and now he is deathly afraid of them

Legolas

Used to talk shit about the rest of the fellowship to Aragorn before learning that Frodo and Boromir both speak elvish too

Makes up silly songs and sings them in an obnoxious voice to annoy everyone else

Although some of the others in the fellowship might think of him as cool and serious at first, he actually can't take anything seriously

Somehow always has flowers in his hair, even during the winter

Doesn't tell anyone he is a prince at first because he doesn't want them to expect him to act like a prince

The youngest child with several older brothers. He just gives me youngest child vibes

Doesn't understand how mortal ages work so treats everyone like a child

Vibes well with Pippin

Overly enthusiastic about pine nuts

Gandalf

Can't actually turn anyone into an animal. He just uses this to threaten children so they won't misbehave

Somehow, Pippin finds out and decides to be even more annoying now that he knows the threat is empty

Gandalf starts threatening to beat him with his staff instead

Loves going to the Shire because hobbits throw the best parties and because they all think of him as a weird old man who does magic tricks. The outside world place expectations on him so it is nice to go to the Shire to have some fun

Is very fond of children of all types and believes the best use of his magic is to entertain the children with it

While he views the rest of the hobbits in the fellowship as adults who can make their own decisions, he knows Pippin is still a child and so treats him as he would his own grandchild.

Feels really guilty for everything that happened to the hobbits and believes it is his fault

Constantly makes jokes about having died

Gimli

Talks shit about the rest of the fellowship to himself. Thankfully, no one understands him

Understands the importance of keeping the dwarves' secrets secret, but also taught Legolas every swear word in his language because he thinks it is funny

Cares quite a bit about his appearance, especially his beard, and carries a comb in his belt right beside his throwing axes

Legolas is the only one allowed to touch his hair. Everyone else doesn't wash their hands enough, according to him

Kind of a mom friend

After the quest, he visits the Shire and makes sure to go to every tavern to try out all the ale

Once got in a very heated argument with Merry about pipeweed and it was so bad Aragorn had to intervene

Sam

Doesn't trust anyone but himself to cook

Bisexual icon

Also polyamorous

Married to Rosie and Frodo

Is super strong because of all the gardening work he does

Incredibly fond of chickens. He gets a few chickens when they return back to the Shire and he loves them so much.

Knows a lot about flower language and always gives people flowers that mean something

Makes the best chicken pot pie in all the Shire. He knows this because he won a prize for it at the Fair in Michel Delving

Really really loves elves and learns elvish so he can speak to them. He practices with Legolas every time he is over

Like Gimli, is a mom friend. If he so much as guesses someone might be sick, he fusses over them and makes them soup and doesn't allow them to get out of bed until he is convinced they are well

Gets super embarrassed when people treat him like a hero, but also secretly enjoys it and knows he deserves it

Always grows too much zucchini and when the harvesting season comes around everyone tries to discreetly avoid him so he can't give them a thousand zucchinis

Frodo

Feels really bad about how he used to steal Farmer Maggot's crops so now he leaves more crops in the fields any time he passes by the farm. Farmer Maggot caught him doing it once and was really confused when Frodo explained his method behind "reverse stealing"

Asexual

Went through an emo phase when he was a teenager

Enjoys his reputation for being odd. It makes him proud to inherit Bilbo's title of Mad Baggins

Is very good at swimming. He doesn't do it often and was scared of water for the while after his parents drowned, but he is a strong swimmer and fast too

Enjoys making bread. It makes him feel strong to use his hand after the quest and kneading bread is the perfect way to do it

Enjoys hosting grand parties with lots of food and dancing

Spends a lot of money on repairing roads and bridges anytime he hears they need fixing

Writes stories all the time

Likes to climb trees

He has a lot of bad days where he can't get out of bed, so he makes sure to really enjoy the good days. On good days, he invites friends over, or bakes pastries, or dances with Sam and Rosie

Owns the grumpiest, bitchiest cat in the whole world. Sam jokingly calls it Gollum and it responds only to that now

Merry

Had a huge crush on Éowyn

Really likes girls who are strong and stubborn

Straight, but he gives me trans vibes

A total nerd

Knows literally everything there is to know about pipeweed and will tell you all about it whether you are interested or not

Has very strong opinions on most things and cannot be swayed from them

Used to lie and say Pippin was his brother because he was sad they were just cousins

Very cunning and comes up with a lot of schemes and plans. He is good at not getting caught

Has always held an interest for herbs but becomes even more interested after his time spent in the House of Healing

Learns Rohhiric. At first it is to impress Éowyn, but then because he finds it interesting

Can't sing but does it anyway

Owns lots of ponies. He allows all the children he knows to name them

Wears giant round glasses and think they make him look cool and smart even though they actually make him look like a total geek

One time he broke a flowerpot at Bag End and blamed it on Pippin and then cried later because he felt bad

Makes about a thousand cookies every year around Yule

Pippin

Insists he is taller than Merry even though he knows deep down it isn't true

Dyslexic

Bisexual

Super gender non conforming. He wears skirts sometimes because he like how he looks in them.

Used to let his sisters play dress-up and tea party with him as a kid because he wanted to be included in their games

Thinks Boromir is so cool and wants to be like him

Gandalf called him a little shit once and he has been chasing that high ever since

Very shy around girls he fancies but is painfully obvious around boys

He had a crush on Aragorn for like, a day, but then he made them march through a marsh and the crush went away instantly

Used to hang around Bag End in the summertime so he could watch Sam roll his sleeves up

Had a huge crush on Faramir and was low key jealous when he got married

Honestly he gets a crush on every mildly attractive person he meets

Plays a bunch of different instruments

Decent at art and likes to sketch

Likes to have odd pets like frogs and rats and fish

Was born early and got sick often as a child

He really loves Gandalf and views him as a grandfather, despite how much he likes to get on his nerves

Sometimes, when he is lonely, he talks to Boromir in hopes that wherever he is, he is listening

Met his wife Diamond when she nearly ran him over with her wagon

Even when he becomes Thain he never gets out of the habit of pranking people

Whenever he tells stories about the quest he adds new embellishments and at this point it is so far from what originally happened but it is way more entertaining and children love to listen to it

Is banned from two different inns in Michel Delving

Éowyn

She can actually cook, it's just Rohan has really shitty cuisine. I bet they eat lutefisk and that pickled shark soup stuff they used to eat over in Iceland

If, after the war is over, something happened and her friends were in danger, she would not hesitate to go into battle again, though she is glad that they are in a time of peace now because she knows war is awful now

Doesn't know how to read because Rohhiric is not a written language, so Faramir teaches her so she can send letters to her friends all over the world and they are really proud of her progress

Finds she likes weaving and makes a huge tapestry telling the stories from the war. It hangs in Minas Tirith in the throne room

Becomes good friends with Arwen and talks about herb lore with her a lot and they totally lock eyes with eachother to give eachother The Look every time a guy says something stupid in their presence. You know the Look.

Definitely still carries a sword around with her while travelling but never really wants to use it

She becomes more comfortable in her life after she finds friends and family, and she works together with Aragorn and Éomer to help pass laws that give women more freedom (allowing divorce, banning marriages to children, allowing women to have control over their finances, etc) they are both happy to change the laws, although Éomer has to confront some of his prejudices first

Faramir

I dont know what this man is but cis ain't it

Was questioning whether he was gay for a while because he wasn't attracted to women (though he wasn't attracted to men, either) and then he met Éowyn and realized he was just demiromantic

Loves giving Éowyn flowers and planning picnic dates for the two of them

This man is a romantic

He writes her poetry and leaves it around their room for her to find after he teaches her to read

Worried about whether he will be a good dad or not but he gets the hang of it really easily and is a really really good father

Was aware of Pippin's crush on him during the war and just tried to ignore it because it was awkward to think about it

Started carrying candies around in his pockets in remembrance of Boromir

[ursie]

What are your lotr gender/sexuality/ect hcs?

Ok ok the problem I have w answering this question is I literally cannot decide on how the diff races view gender. Like Gimli and Legolas are all of the lgbts at once. You could actually make an argument for Gimli being a woman as Dwarves present as masculine outside of their homes and there being little to no visible differences between the two. That’s not even getting into elves.

Anyway.

Gandalf : I think unironically he should be a drag queen. Old gay man. Physically disabled-I would like to see him use his staff as a cane. Also probably shouldn’t be white

Aragorn : I run on the rule of comedy and I think it’s funniest for him to be the only cishet man in the fellowship. Everyone is limping wrists at each other and he’s just trying to fight orcs so he can go home and get married. Literally the #1 ally put up w Gimli and Legolas’s gay bickering across countries. There is no one stronger. Has chronic migraines just from that. Chronic pain obv, Autistic, depression. I don’t think he should be white the blood purity stuff with the lines of kings ect does not need to represented w a white guy. I don’t know if anyone’s seen the old animated film but I always thought he was Native in that. Anyway indigenous king 🥰

Boromir : gay king. “No time to marry” “permanent bachelor” he’s gay. Chronic pain, I saw Sami Boromir once and that’s literally all I want indigenous king 👑

Legolas : Femme/twink jokes aside he’s a Bear as far as elves are concerned. Masc4masc bear4bear king. Cis in the elf way.chronic migraines. Chronic fatigue, depression, autistic. Again probs shouldn’t be white. Indigenous king yet again

Gimli : god where to start. Yes. Bi and nb. Whoever you are if you’re into him you’re gay. Hoh, impaired vision, arthritis, chronic pain. Jewish in the all Tolkien dwarves are Jewish way. No racial hcs outside of canon.

Pippin : Trans. The entdraught was magical hormones. Adhd. Depression. Ptsd. Chronic pain. Chair user post battle of Mordor. No racial hcs outside of canon

Merry : see above. Autistic, depression, Ptsd, unspecified disorder, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, arthritis. No racial hcs outside of canon

Frodo : GAY, cis but in the hobbit way. Depression, multiple unspecified mental illnesses and disorders, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, chronic illness, ptsd, anxiety, probs shouldn’t be white given his relationship to Sam who was at the least described as brown. (Yes Sam probs wasn’t meant to be read as brown but that’s hardly the point). Chair user post battle of Mordor

Sam : BI KING, nb, full of love, anxiety, unspecified mental illness, chronic fatigue and chronic pain, cane user post battle of Mordor. Brown. Also I think he should be a bear 🐻

Faramir : unironically lesbian king. Enby legend. Trans icon. All of the lgbts at once. Literally all the mental illnesses. Chronic pain and fatigue, ptsd. See Boromir

Eomer : Transmasc king. Bear. Mlm legend. Sm going on in his head. Hoh, inferiority complex, impostor syndrome. Tbh I read him as white. No racial hcs outside of canon

Eowyn : dyke. Depression, ptsd, bpd, bipolar disorder, inferiority complex, impostor syndrome. Chronic pain and fatigue, arthritis. No racial hcs outside of canon

Arwen : Transhet. Chronically ill. Indigenous.

[psychic-waffles]

5 otps

thank you for the tags @jockvillagersonly and @s1utspeare ilu both 💕💕💕

unfortunately for me i'm a terrible multishipper so usually just shove everyone in a polycule and hope for the best, but i've tried to pick one ship per fandom, so in no particular order:

1. Iron Triangle - Wu Xie/Wang Pangzi/Zhang Qiling - DMBJ

(sorry heihua, you're a close second)

they're just so incredibly married. i watched reboot first and as soon as wu xie and pangzi showed up on screen i was just "oh?? look at these husbands???", and then xiaoge showed up as well and i was just "EVEN BETTER, A THIRD HUSBAND".

they would die for each other, they would live for each other, they would utterly destroy the rest of the world for each other. what more do i need to say.

2. Thominewt - Thomas/Minho/Newt - The Maze Runner

really what this ship is is just newt/happiness and also newt/being alive.

no we are not going to talk about how much i still love the maze runner in the year of our lord 2021.

3. Stucky - Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes - Marvel

(yes i know, don't look at me, don't perceive me)

(also this is a peggy love zone, steve is a bisexual icon with two hands, we love peggy in this house)

4. SamFrodo - Samwise Gamgee/Frodo Baggins - LOTR

(in all honesty i had to flip a coin between this and legolas/gimli)

“I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.”

[cut to me sobbing in the corner] "and that something was the power of gay love"

5. Wangxian - Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - MDZS

what can i say, i love a red/blue gay combo, and also apparently ships getting tragically seperated for an extended period of time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bonus:

In the process of trying to come up with some otps i went and asked @no-chess-no-checkers and @bibophilophile for help, foolishly thinking i wouldn't just be mercilessly called out for a solid 10 minutes:

[arofili]

For the Character ask: Legolas

How I feel about this character: *sweats nervously and stares at my legolas sideblog @nblegolas and all the legolas fic ive written and how many times ive had legolas as my icon* what are you talking about i like him the normal amount

BUT FOR REAL THO the amount i project onto him??? unhealthy probably lmao

All the people I ship romantically with this character: so I see legolas as aroace (considering how i project……..Not Surprising) B U T i stand by the statement that all gigolas is good gigolas, so Gimli fits into this category! i cannot see him romo with anyone else tho, and even paired with Gimli in a romo context I’m still probably seeing him through an arospec lens.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: GIMLI!!! he and Gimli are like, my first big aro ship, them being QPPs is SO important to me, ugh

My unpopular opinion about this character: I mean, for this one I don’t think saying “he’s aro” is a copout. Straight girls and the gays are always claiming him for themselves, which is good and valid even if it gets on my nerves sometimes, but i just… i headcanon him as being gay+aroace but the aro part is sosososo important to me! i shitpost about green being his color and also The Aro Color, but like, him not being married, him being so close to Gimli, him being light-hearted and a singer, and also just very aesthetically pretty (not just the PJ version!) is like….Goals for me tbh.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: HEY TOLKIEN WHAT”S THE NAME OF HIS MOM HM. GIVE ME LITERALLY ANY INFORMATION ABOUT LEGOLAS’ MOM. ANYTHING. I DARE YOU.

(also his presence in the hobbit movies, especially as a “love interest” for tauriel, was….completely unnecessary. i think he should have been there, it wouldn’t have made sense for him not to be considering the importance of thranduil to the story, BUT he should have been a one-off cameo appearance. though im NOT COMPLAINING with the amount of stupid stunts he pulled in the movies - i am a sucker for that kind of action movie bullshit!)

[flying-elliska]

I'm rewatching the Lord of the Rings extended edition for comfort rn and it's really nice hadn't watched it in yeeeears and it was one of my first fandoms as a kid like i taught myself poems in elvish and shit anyway my opinion now is :

- the whole drama configuration between Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir and Eowyn is still my fave thing like what delicious angst ! I'm still not over the fact that Aragorn was to Boromir what he himself was to Faramir in a sense, this older cooler guy with more power than him he couldn't be on the level of. Or that Boromir's desperate actions to defend his people were what pushed Aragorn to start getting his head out of his ass and stop running away from his destiny. Or that Faramir learning that his brother he so idolized gave in to the ring's power was what caused him to let Frodo go at the peril of his own life. Or that Eowyn loved Aragorn for his warrior qualities but it was his healer side that saved her and made him a good king later on. There are so many good things there about compassion, but also understanding that even though those heroes you look up to did their best, they didn't always have the right answers, and that often true power lies in letting go of the idea of glory ; the importance of humility and the things that grow and true friendship yeah i'm emo

- the elves are anoyyyyyyinggggggg which sucks because like their design is top notch. But they're so bland and sanctimonious and gloomy. Except Legolas, who's a sassy badass (because he's got some dwarf in him lmao) and Galadriel, because she's tricksterish and creepy. I feel this would have been so much better if the elves were more creepy, uncanny forces of nature instead of these fantasy protestants

- it boggles my mind how the humor can boil down to this stupid 'Gimli is fat lol' humor at times but also Sam is like one of the most flattering portrayals of a fat character ever. Like he's a bit thick headed at times but he's so constant and brave and like, the true hero of the story. Which, good.

- the love story between Aragorn and Arwen is still as lame as ever, like it's all about the Aesthetics with those two we are never given one reason why they love each other it's so cringe. They both very Pretty tho like my writer self is like yawn but my bi ass is like OOOOO

- never realized this before but oh my god Frodo is a baby ! I want to wrap him in a blanket

- i just love Merry and Pippin so much they're the Fred and George characters but even better in the sense that they start as comic relief but their arcs become so deep and there is also something abt the importance of humor in times of darkness and Yeah

- not gonna pretend their gender dynamics are in any way progressive since they have like 2.5 women in this but i just love how the male heroes are like these stalwart figures of masculine bravery but they're also constantly crying and emoting and hugging each other and professing their undying devotion to each other. Special kudos to gay icon Ian McKellan for convincing the actors to play Sam and Frodo Like That lol

- all in all i just really love the extended editions. Because a lot of what got cut is the stuff that...even if less integral to the plot, is what makes the characters much more real and human. Like Sam carrying salt with herbs to Mordor so he can make roast chicken, or Faramir remembering the last time he spoke to his brother before his death, or Merry and Pippin finding a full pantry at Isengard w smokeleaf after their ordeal with the orcs. Without these things it feels a lot more remote.

[caterjunes]

i’m reading lotr aloud to grayson as she does sewing projects, doing character voices (imo i’m a fairly talented voice actor) & genderbending many characters, which is tremendous fun! here are some highlights:

gandalf talks like gandalf from the animated hobbit

merry is a girl bc of my friend merry @sardonicsilk. legolas, gimli, and bilbo are as well, plus a huge number of background characters - it’s astonishing that literally every bg character in lotr is a man!

the ents all use neo-pronouns (xie/xyr and ey/em) to highlight that they don’t have a remotely similar concept of gender

faramir uses they/them pronouns, which i think makes for interesting extra layers of drama wrt denethor comparing them with boromir

gollum talks like fiddleford mcgucket from gravity falls or cassidy from taz, which is incredibly fun. this was a toughie to settle on bc my andy serkis gollum voice is pitch-perfect and i’m justifiably very proud of it, but grayson loathes and hates it.

it’s really hard not to mimic the line-readings from the movies!! especially the really iconic ones that were lifted verbatim from the book - gandalf and bilbo have many of these

“the choices of master samwise” is the literal most heartbreaking thing i’ve ever read and i had to stop and cry a little. peter jackson opted to go with a dramatic reveal that sam took the ring, and that cuts imo the most powerful and moving section of the entire story - sam mourning but ultimately choosing the Quest and the world over his despair and anger and grief. this is where the emotional core of the story rings truest (tolkien also had friends who died in front of him! fuck!!) and it’s a disservice that we didn’t get to see that on screen

relatedly, as in love as frodo & sam are in the movies, they are immeasurably more so on the page. it’s deeply touching. they’re gay sir. you wrote them gay. every time we get to an especially tender part grayson & i look at each other and say SIR!!! SIR!!!!!!

i expected this, but you pick up a lot more when reading a book aloud, especially a dense book like lotr where it’s easy to zone out!

there’s a LOT of pretty overt white supremacist rhetoric wrt the downfall of western civilization, declining birth rates, fear of being supplanted or overrun by ~savage hordes from the east and south~. again, i expected some of this, but it’s way more explicit than i thought it would be and pretty alarming. i’m skipping the most racist parts or trying to tone them down, but it’s pretty baked into the plot D:

[femmefaramir]

I sometimes feel like people forget how sassy Legolas can be and how big of a Drama Queen Boromir is.

serving hot takes tonight huh?

i'd die for book boromir and book legolas. they are amazing. and book gimli is much better than movie gimli. stop making my son a comic relief! ('tis what legolsass is for)

also, boromir ready to take on balrog while shouting "gondor"? iconic. i love him. big bro material. gay and confused. dare i say he's my son? i have many sons