#God Our Helper | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

windvexer · 3 months ago

Text

Advice for if your practice is feeling stressful or unfulfilling (that isn't 'just stop practicing')

Before you expand: long text post!

I think it's interesting that the first line of advice stressed and unhappy practitioners often receive is 'stop practicing! take a break,' because besides a breather this doesn't actually do anything. When a person is done with that break they're still going to have the same stressful, unfulfilling practice they did before.

Stop practicing is useful advice for someone who is about to deep-fry their brain in uncontrolled Witch Fire. It's useful advice for someone who experiences unexplainable catastrophe every time they engage in magic.

I'm not sure it's useful advice for people who want to practice and are actively seeking help figuring out how.

So here are some ideas. Feel free to add your own.

If your practice has too much of a time load:

Scrape over-engineered ritual. Examine ritual formats. Are you spending a majority of your practice time engaging in elaborate ritual? Where can that be paired down?

Swap ritual for enchantments. If ritual performs an action (laying a compass), can you substitute for that ritual action by making enchanted objects that take less time to activate (enchanted compass altar cloth)?

Minimize ingredients. If you regularly perform spells that require lengthy enchantment of ingredients, can you use fewer ingredients to achieve the same results? If you're using more than 3 correspondences for any spell, is this because you are wise in your own ways, or because you just feel that more is merrier?

Mash rituals together. Do you have a string of rituals, even small ones, that you perform one after the other? Is it possible to reorganize these so they're all done at once, in the same ritual? For example, setting out an offering to the gods, a different offering for the ancestors, another for helper spirits, etc. Can you combine these all into one single offering?

Check for over-tending. Is it possible that you're repeating magical acts, like feeding wards and cleansing, more often than you need to? Did you arrive at this schedule through trial and error, or did you just guess this is how often you should do them?

Check for your own levelup: spell maintenance. If it's been a while since you re-evaluated your ritual/offering/maintenance schedule, your increase in skills may mean you need to do these tasks less often to achieve the same result.

Check for your own levelup: techniques and routines. Some techniques, like carefully entering trance, grounding, and centering, are like training wheels that wear ruts into our paths of magic. As we improve in skill, old rituals and techniques that have been carefully couched in these helpful devices may become ingrained in us so that we can perform them in almost any state of mind, much faster and easier than we could before. Experiment with any technique you've been doing for a while and see if you still need to perform time-consuming meditative or focusing techniques before you can perform the skill.

Be reasonable with your own goals. I find most 'laywitches' give themselves daily and weekly schedules that would put actual cloistered monks to shame. Did your spirits tell you they expect daily offerings, or did you decide on that an run with it? Where are you overcompensating and overexerting in your path when nobody, including yourself, asked you to?

If your practice has too much of a work load:

Much of the advice of the prior section applies. Also,

Just work less. Are you putting in 100% effort when 20% or 30% would do? Are you treating every act of magic like a performance review that will control the outcome of your magical career? I'm not being sarcastic; an actual solution to your path being too much work is to just put in less effort. If you've never tried this you may be shocked at how effective magic can be when you're only doing what needs to be done.

Find simpler, more reasonable stuff. Find new techniques, and spell and ritual formats that are paired down to fit the amount of effort that's reasonable to exert for any given magical act. If you can't work with correspondences without a lengthy act of activation, find a way to cast simple spells that doesn't rely on correspondences.

Limit research and prep. Ask yourself how much research you reasonably need to get started on any given project. Remember that a huge amount of a witch's education is experiential; you will probably never know enough until you've already done it three or four times.

Be goal-oriented; prioritize actions. Ask yourself if you've set arbitrary workloads before you can get started with anything, such as forcing yourself to write artistic grimoire pages before you're allowed to perform a ritual you're interested in.

Learn skills to help prioritize actions. If your practice is consumed by acts of upkeep such as cleansing and empowering objects, focus on learning energy sensing so you can reasonably determine whether or not an object actually needs to be cleansed or empowered.

Administrate your own practice - what can go on the back burner? Make a list of all your active ongoing projects and maintenance, including upkeep of energy batteries, spells that require maintenance, and situations you want to change and are casting spells on. Prioritize them; see which ones you can set aside.

Restructure your projects to minimize maintenance. Consolidate spells and projects where possible. For example, if you have multiple protection spells for many people that require upkeep, condense them all onto a protection altar so you can feed and tend to them all at once.

Work in batch and bulk. See where you can do batch work to lighten your load. You can bulk enchant candles and incense, instead of enchanting incense every time you do a ritual. You can enchant oils, waters, and incense to feed your spells, taking time out of upkeep.

Levelup your charging and maintenance skills. Learn energy work to attach energy tethers to batteries and other important projects so they're able to drink from the wellspring you attach them to, and stay charged.

Scrape routines that don't serve you. Examine any daily routines. Are you doing them because they're helping you, or because you feel like you're supposed to be doing something every day? See if you can replace more intensive daily routines with something less tiring, like a prayer to your path itself.

If your practice feels too silly:

You have a right to privacy. Cocooning is valid. It's fine to take steps to limit who can see and potentially judge your practice. You can keep things to yourself until you're ready.

Tend to your emotional wellness. Self-therapy, in any form you feel comfortable with, can help mitigate the inner eye of judgement.

Reduce your beliefs to palatable doses. Believing in magic for only the duration of your work is perfectly fine. You don't have to 'believe-believe' 24/7. If you're not ready to integrate the belief of magic and spirits into your baseline worldview, don't - you can agree to buy in to those beliefs only while you practice techniques and cast spells, and then put them away the rest of the time.

Scrape stuff you really can't get past. Ask yourself what about your practice feels silly. Are there trappings - like altars, ritual movements, and speaking aloud - that you don't like? Change them. Is the idea that religious faith itself is a bit cringe? Self-therapy (or you know, the regular kind) may be assistive.

Ask for help modifying your process.Is there something very specific about a ritual or technique that you just can't get past, but you don't know how to change it? Research and see what other substitute rituals are available. Ask others and see if they can help you brainstorm.

Embrace the silliness. It's not going anywhere. Believing in your practice and holding it dear and sacred is not the same as being ✨super serious gravitas✨ all the time. There are lots of things about witchcraft, and the acts of the witch, that are silly and make you realize you're doing something ridiculous. I came out here at 2 am after it's been raining to climb down a slippery riverbed to get a branch of a tree that I think is talking to me?? Because some medieval guy said Tuesday is the planet Mars and I think trees talk to me?! Ridiculous. Yet I still love it dearly in a sacred place in my heart. It can be silly and glorious at the same time.

Cast a wider net. See if you're barking up the wrong tree. Traditional Witchcraft, folk magic, lodge magic, chaos magic, eclectic neopaganism... these things are not interchangeable. If you've never explored different traditions, why not give it a go? You might find another path that feels a lot more natural to you. A lot of people fall into a certain path just because they don't know what else they could be doing!

If your practice feels unfulfilling:

What are you doing to bring yourself fulfillment? Why did you get into witchcraft? Make a list of your top 5 reasons (if you have that many). Which techniques, spells, and rituals are you regularly performing are designed to deliver these desires to you? If one of your goals of practicing witchcraft is to 'feel connected,' how often are you performing acts where the only goal is to make you feel connected?

Grow your path deliberately in the direction of your needs. What do you wish you had in your life right now? Is it the feeling of being loved? Inner peace? Feeling like nature is alive and watching you? Look for what techniques and rituals in your practice will bring these things to you. If there are none, find or develop them.

Ask for help and share your feelings. If you work with gods and spirits, do you regularly tell them how you feel about your practice and ask them for help finding fulfillment?

Find contentment in the process. It's vital to find joy in the process. If you have regular routines or upkeep you need to do, how can you modify it so that process in and of itself is satisfying to you? Try considering the visceral element of witchcraft: the words, scents, sounds, moods, and thoughts that you want to experience in your present moment. Witchcraft is experiential: a great deal of the experience you create in the tidepools of routine is under your control.

Contemplate the larger purpose. Some witches do have magical chores and responsibilities they can't or shouldn't shirk. If this is true of you, and you can't modify those routines, try refocusing on why you're doing them and the importance they hold in your path. See if you can find balance elsewhere in your practice that feels rejuvenating; sort of a 'work-play' balance of your own craft.

Set short-term goals you can celebrate. Are you undertaking a lot of 'workout routines' that are designed to basically make you magically buff, or get good at a particular skill, but you're doing them with no endgoal? Try creating short-term goals that excite your sense of wonder or accomplishment. Like, practicing tarot until you can read the Celtic Cross, or practicing energy work until you can make a four-element layered energy shield. Build goalposts for yourself, both in the short and long-term, and celebrate your successes.

Scrape routines you're not doing for any good reason. Are your regular practices things you're doing because they fill you with mystery and wonder, or because you're just pretty sure that's the kind of thing witches do? If you're bored or unfulfilled by a particular routine, consider stopping it altogether, especially if you can't think of any short-term goals that it's helping you work towards. Think about the reasons you got into witchcraft: what practices would help you fulfill those reasons, while also feeling good to practice?

Seek out a likeminded community. A good working group of friends can be invaluable. My close group of witch friends, whom I've been hanging out with for years, started as a Tumblr post asking if anyone wanted to make a small server to study witchcraft. Reach out and see who's out there to study with, talk to, and practice with. It can be loads of fun to do short-term study and practice challenges with friends, and a great way to get feedback and support.

Evaluate your spiritual relationships. Although it can be painful and challenging, sometimes we enter into our paths working with gods and spirits that after some time, we need to move on from. Is it possible your path has become stagnant because you don't want to keep working with a god or spirit that your path has been built around? It may be time to see how you can move on.

When 'take a break' might be helpful advice to heal your practice:

Of course, YMMV :)

'Taking a break' doesn't mean stop being a witch, stop believing in magic, or stop 100% of your practice. It can also mean putting a lot of projects on the back burner, switching to bare-minimum (or below minimum) maintenance, and squashing regular routines.

I'm talking specifically about taking a break in the interest of your own practice - not the conditions under which someone is ""allowed"" to stop practicing witchcraft.

Take a break to rest and let your seeds germinate. 'Fallow periods,' when you have no desire or motivation to practice witchcraft, and when it seems like there's nothing for you to do, are normal. Some witches experience this cyclically, perhaps during certain seasons or when predictable life conditions are met. There's no need to force yourself to practice when it's just not flowing. The snow on your mountaintops needs to melt to replenish your waterways, bestie. There's nothing wrong with you, the sun just isn't out yet.

When you're hitting yourself with a hammer. When something in your practice is triggering or harming you, and stopping will have no consequences, then stopping your practice for a while is probably a good idea. Use the downtime to seek healing or reformat your practice.

To open your life up for necessary work. Not every witch can out-path every problem. Consider taking a break when the problem is something you will have time and energy to work on if not for your regular magical practice.

When you're about to deep-fry your brain with Witch Fire. Consider taking a break when the problem with your practice is that you are practicing too often - such as fatigue due to excessive spellwork, divinatory obsession, trouble staying out of the spirit world (compulsive astral travel), or focus on spirits/magic/the spirit worlds are starting to erode your home, school, or work life.

To let the ripples settle. When you've done so much magic or ritual work that your life is a boat on a stormy sea, and you just need to batten down the hatches for a while and let things settle.

#witchcraft #tbl #witchblr #beginner witch

533 notes · View notes

interact-if · 4 months ago

Text

Black History Month Author Spotlight: Lapin

To kickstart the Black History Month Author Spotlight series, I'd like to introduce everyone to our first IF author, Lapin (@harlequinoccult)!

(I had a ton of fun reading Lapin’s answers, and I’m sure you will too! Read on for a celebration of ‘weird,’ Lapin’s Black southern gothic / horror influences, and how a D&D game could lead to interactive fiction!

Lapin, thank you again for your candid, humorous responses, I am very honored to have gotten to know you better :D)

Author: Lapin

Black creole and cajun, artist and writer, and wannabe game developer

Games: Slaughter Squad (Horror, Slasher, Romance)

Synopsis: YOU HAVE A HUNGER A HUNGER THAT YOU’VE BEEN NEGLECTING For the most part, you’re a pretty normal mid-20-something year old who lives in a shitty apartment in the city. Well, except for one thing. Your.....”Associate” Carter “Dollface” Abernathy. Who is a murderer, and quite frankly, a sloppy one at that. And you’re the accessory to his crimes. No matter what way you’ve gotten to know the man, or how you feel about him, you’re stuck with him, and stuck with just being his little “helper” ........Or are you? Especially when you’re suddenly given a....Unique opportunity.

Games: The Valley of Luck (Fantasy, Adventure, Romance)

Synopsis: The Valley of Luck was said to be a myth. Something that grandparents would tell their grand-kids around a campfire. Even those who worshiped Lucian, The God of Luck, thought it nothing but an old wives tale. Until, one day, a man with an arm made of solid gold started telling people that he'd been there, that he'd seen the Valley. Word spread quickly, and suddenly, every continent was alight with the rumor that The Valley was real, that it could give you all the riches you could ever want, and then some. However, your quest, whether related to The Valley or not, will lead you down a much stranger path.

Quote from the interview:

My upbringing was a bit odd. I am the youngest of three, two older brothers, one being a half brother, in a black military household… Middle school Lapin was a jock. But, lo and behold, the internet started getting more popular and that kid's brain exploded from internet exposure, for better and for worse. … I feel that there is a specific and niche demographic of people like me that were raised by early 2000s to 2010s internet. And on that era of internet, were creepypastas, online horror, early ARGs….I ADORED internet horror, which was my gateway into classic horror, funnily enough. Slaughter Squad, in my eyes, is a letter to that black kid that wanted to be weird. Be weird, be messy, see a fucked up movie, get more out of life.

Read on for the full interview!

Tell me more about yourself! What are some things new readers or long-time readers might not know about you?

Both parts of my family are 100% from Louisiana, New Orleans and the deep south. My moms side have been there so long, we have two streets named after us.

Can you tell me a bit about what you’re working on right now and your journey into interactive fiction? What inspired the game/story you’re currently writing?

My main project, of course, is Slaughter Squad. I love slasher movies and horror media in general. But what I always noticed with horror/romance, at least in the visual novel scene, is that the main character is nearly always the one getting screwed over, so I thought, well, what if the bad guys actually are your peers? How would this dynamic change if they don't see you as prey? I never thought that premise would appeal so much to so many but hey, I can't complain! I adore seeing people having fun with the silly little concept I had.

Now, my secondary project, The Valley of Luck. Some may not know this, but this story is based off of a D&D campaign I DM'ed back in the day with my friends. All the ROs are NPCs that my friends had, or where going to encounter. I won't lie, I did shy away from it and changed some things when the whole debacle with Wizards of the coast (the company that "owns" D&D) Where making some...questionable decisions. But this story is my baby. My first born. This one has been in the works far longer than SLSQ and has a lot of background lore that I hope I get the opportunity to share.

I do have a few other projects bumping around, One I am particularly excited for, But that one will have to wait a little bit~

How has your identity, heritage/background, upbringing, or personal experiences influenced your storytelling or writing process? OR How does your work feature aspects of your identity / experience?

My upbringing was a bit odd. I am the youngest of three, two older brothers, one being a half brother, in a black military household. I never felt that I truly had a sense of identity until that household inevitably split up. Everyone talks about being the weird kid in middle school, but no one mentions being the "normal on the outside but wants to be the weird kid so bad its painful on the inside but can't because you were told that stuff is 'white people shit' " type of kid.

Middle school Lapin was a jock. But, lo and behold, the internet started getting more popular and that kid's brain exploded from internet exposure, for better and for worse. I was a little shitter on the internet, I can't lie about that, as much as I want to. But I feel that there is a specific and niche demographic of people like me that were raised by early 2000s to 2010s internet. And on that era of internet, were creepypastas, online horror, early ARGs....I ADORED internet horror, which was my gateway into classic horror, funnily enough. Slaughter Squad, in my eyes, is a letter to that black kid that wanted to be weird. Be weird, be messy, see a fucked up movie, get more out of life.

What does your writing process look like? Any rituals or habits? Any tips, tricks, philosophies or approaches that have worked very well for you?

Let your characters speak through you like you're being possessed by a demon.

What’s the one thing you’re really proud of that you’ve written so far? Do you have a favorite character or scene that you’ve written?

I am so serious.

is it wildly inconvenient? yes. does it help your writing a ton? also yes. Doing Roleplay with friends is a fantastic way to learn to do this. being a DM for a D&D game has basically made it so characters can simply speak from my brain at any given moment. It's also annoying because some of these people do NOT shut up. Learning how a character would react on the fly does wonders for dialogue writing and character analysis. Roleplay with your friends, or hell, strangers who are down to clown that could become friends. Be cringe. be free.

I love the opening to Slaughter Squad and if you told me to rewrite it with a gun to my head I would tell you to shoot me. I love how punchy it is and it came out exactly how I wanted it to. I don't play favorites with characters (<- lying) but my two favorites to write are the stinky little bastard cat Sterling in TVoL and.....Carter, from SLSQ. I love writing complete bastards. One being lighthearted and gets a pass for it because he's just a kitty cat and the other you want to actively beat his face in with your bare hands. It's SO funny.

If you were to say one thing to your readers, other authors, and/or the interactive fiction community: what would it be?

Write. Write it now. Doesn't have to be good doesn't have to be polish all that matters is that you WROTE IT. All the bells and whistles can come later!!!! Stop thinking about the later and think about the now!!!! Write what you love and never give two shits about if it's cringe!!! Be excellent to each other!!!

Any books, music, movies etc. you’re obsessed with at the moment, or which changed your life (or perspectives on something)?

GO LISTEN TO CHROMAKOPIA BY TYLER THE CREATOR RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!

This-or-that segment: (bold = Lapin’s pick)

Coffee or tea?

Early mornings or late nights?

City or countryside?

Angsty or Cozy romances? (Or enemies-to-lovers or best-friends-to-lovers?)

Steady progress or frenzied binge-writing followed by periods of calm?

Summer or Winter?

First drafts or editing?

Introvert or extrovert?

Plotter or pantser?

Characters or plot first?

Lapin’s custom “this-or-that” pairing: Rain or Shine

More on Black Southern Gothic:

Black southern gothic can vary a lot, but when I think of it, I think of old semi abandoned wood shotgun houses in the swamp, all white tiny baptist churches where the white paint is peeling from the heat and humidity, riding horses down a dirt paved street while people still ride by in their old busted down 1960s chevys. Old plantation houses that have been reclaimed by the swamp. The dark, humid heat of the night on a street with no streetlights. Every house you see is absolutely haunted by something and not just ghosts. Voodoo and hoodoo is different than what people will tell you it is.

Sassafrass, Cypress and Indigo by Ntozake Shange, Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jessamin Ward, and anything by Toni Morrison 100%.

#author features #spotlight #black history month #interactive fiction #interactive games #if: features #itch.io #slaughter squad #the valley of luck #interview feature #game dev

199 notes · View notes

sammyunhinged · 10 months ago

Text

To Ares

One of my favorite Homeric Hymns because of how unusual it is. It serves to remind us that Ares is a protector, a leader, and a guide.

Supremely strong Ares,

golden-helmeted chariot-rider,

tough-hearted, shield-carrying

guardian of cities,

bronze in armor, brave of hand,

the tireless, spear-sharp

rampart of Olympos,

father of war-winning Victory,

the ally of Themis.

You are a tyrant to the rebellious,

a leader to the most just,

you carry the staff off manhood,

you whirl your disc of bright fires across the sky

among the seventh tracks for the constellations

where blazing horses bear you forever

beyond the third orbit.

Hear me, helper of mortals,

whose gift is the courage of youth.

From high above, shine down upon our lives

Your gentle light and your warrior’s power,

so I may drive away bitter cowardice from my head

and subdue my soul’s beguiling impulse,

so I may restrain the shrill rage in my heart,

which excites me to charge

into the chilling din of battle.

Rather, blessed god, give me the courage

to stand my ground within the safe laws of peace,

shunning hostility and hatred

and the fate of a violent death.

Translation by Jules Cashford. From 4th or 5th century Roman Empire.

#helpol #hellenic paganism #hellenic polytheism #Hellenic pagan #lord ares #ares deity #theoi

304 notes · View notes

rychlostthespacewizard · 9 months ago

Text

Alright so apparently you guys really liked my posts on quotes. So i'll do this again:

i collected more random quotes and now i have 265

Here are them, in no order. Feel free to comment which ones are your favorites:

1. "You are naught but a nail dreaming itself a hammer."

2. "Each inch of our lands are littered with the ruins of empires that dared to dream of eternity and deemed themselves endless. "

3. "You walk upon bones of those who thought they could tame the wild, and yet dare to repeat their sins?"

4. "I had only one thought before the slaughter. This man will not make an orphan of my daughter"

5. "Culture shouldn't exist only for those who can afford it"

6. "The path of revenge is not an honorable one but sometimes it is the only one beneath your feet"

7. "Act confounded and you'll become enlightened"

8. "Those who test boundaries find cliffs"

9. "Aftermath is the sum of poor calculation"

10. "Consequence favors the foolish"

11. "Consequence befriends the foolish"

12. "If you desire fire stroke the flame"

13. "The lack of restraint encourages fallout"

14. 'A reckless temperament perfectly tempts fate"

15. 'Incautious provocation bears unwanted education"

16. "Am I doing the right choice marrying her?" -"Each and every moment with her will be worth it tenfold"

17. "What troubles you, my hunter? Do you not hear the call of the hunt? Or do you wish to stir something more from the depths of this nightmare?"

18. "A chicken that follows a duck drowns."

19. "A dog bitten by a snake is even afraid of sausage."

20. "A sparrow that follows a clay builder becomes a bricklayer's helper."

21. "A scoundrel's hat is a sledgehammer."

22. "In the land of the one-legged, every kick is a trip."

23. "In the land of the fearful, every pillowcase is a ghost."

24. "Pretend to be a piglet to nurse lying down."

25. "A sleeping alligator becomes a lady's purse."

26. "A bird that eats stones knows the butt it has."

27. "He who eats quietly, eats always."

28. "A chicken that follows a bat sleeps upside down."

29. "More lost than an olive in a toothless mouth."

30. "More lost than an onion in a fruit salad."

31. "Velvet pants, bare butt."

32. "He who is afraid of snakes doesn't go into the woods."

33. "Never look a gift horse in the mouth."

34. "He who has no ears doesn't wear glasses."

35. "Palaces of silver and gold cannot be built overnight."

36. "I have the body of a pig"

37. "Lies? in your house of god?"

38. "Do not mistake my altruism with indifference. I shall not lay the wicked among the fair; the love of the gods is not unconditional, and neither is mine."

39. "The gods may judge you but their sins outnumber yours."

40. "The future is not written and it is foolish to squint at what cannot be read."

41. "Not all places exist to be found. Sometimes one must revel in the shadows to truly see the light."

42. "Did the man who first discovered fire consider the burned houses? Or did he simply sleep with a full stomach?"

43. "A falling knife has no handle"

44. "How does it feel? For i am the conclusion to your story, and you are but a page in my book."

45. "Don’t kill me. Please. I am scared." “You are?” "Yes. I am scared to not exist. Aren’t you?"

46. "I am a monument to all your sins."

47. "I’ll do whatever you want. Then Perish."

48. "To become a god is the loneliest achievement of all."

49. "I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me."

50. "All knowledge is based on that which we cannot prove. Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?"

51. "Nobody likes to change. There will always be resistance to change. And the quicker you get to that, the easier it is. It's not such a difficult thing. If you entrench yourself and go, 'by the gods, I will not change. I will not have this.’ Then, you’re a dead man. We're great at adaptability. It's our strongest suit."

52. "You’ve got to make a statement. You’ve got to look inside yourself and say: 'what am I willing to put up with today?’"

53. "Whenever you look at another creator or an artist that you respect, you're only seeing what took them a long time of work and doubt to push through. You never see the struggle behind it. So you think you’re the only one struggling, when in fact, everyone goes through it."

54. "Too many people have opinions on things they know nothing about. And the more ignorant they are, the more opinions they have."

55. "Pick a god and pray."

56. "I see now that the circumstances of one’s birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."

57. "Dude, sucking at something is the first step towards being sort of good at something."

58. "There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t act childish at times."

59. "Men are props on the stage of life, and no matter how tender, how exquisite... A lie will remain a lie."

60. "If you want me to die, just say so. "

61. "Then become the dirt I walk on."

62. "To feel sorrow is to deserve peace."

63. "Can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in a way that matters."

64. "You are alone, child. There is only darkness for you, and only death for your people. These ancients are just the beginning. I will command a great and terrible army... and we will sail to a billion worlds. We will sail until every light has been extinguished. You are strong, child. But I am beyond strength."

65. "He has already begun painting the picture, now we must decide to finish it."

66. "When someone leaves your life those exits… are… not made equal. Some are beautiful, and poetic, and satisfying. Others are abrupt and unfair, but most are just unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy."

67. "You kneel before my throne unaware it was built on lies."

68. "I never cared about justice, and I don't recall ever calling myself a hero, I have always only fought for the people I believe in."

69. "If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known."

70. "What can one do in the face of such monumental loss but breathe a weary sigh, for the world is a little quieter now."

71. "You cannot condemn those who build your throne."

72. "You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you."

73. "The gods have cursed me for my hubris and my work is never finished."

74. "We might be in the history the gods abandoned."

75. "The antidote to despair is action."

76. "I cannot hold back the tide of your bad decisions."

77. "Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars that you’ve won."

78. "Sometimes life puts you in difficult circumstances you didn't choose, but being happy or unhappy is a choice you make, and I've chosen to make the best of things that I can."

79. "You don't have to be alive to make yourself relevant, And you don't have to be a good person to be a hero. You just have to know who you are, and stay true to that. So I'm going to keep fighting for people the only way I ever knew how, By being me."

80. "Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show."

81. "See, Sarah? We're not doomed. In the great, grand scheme of things, we're just tiny specks that will one day be forgotten. So it doesn't matter what we did in the past, or how we'll be remembered. The only thing that matters is right now, this moment, this one spectacular moment we are sharing together. Right, Sarah?"

82. "You know, it's funny... when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags."

83. "Sometimes, Life’s a Bitch and then you keep living."

84. "You do everything you can to make up for it, knowing that you’ll never succeed in getting rid of the guilt. You devote yourself to spending every second trying to do better despite the fact that it will never be enough. And you pray with every single good act you do that somehow, when your life is over, that you came close to making up for the wrong you committed."

85. "I will seize destiny by the throat and force it into the shape of my choosing."

86. "The sins of the ancient burn the souls of the ancestors."

87. "What brings me joy is… life. I think you can find joy anywhere, in life. I think it’s a conscious choice. I think you- you choose joy, in life. And no matter how bad things are, no matter how crummy, no matter how dark. You find joy. I find joy in whatever I do. I don’t always do things right, and I don’t always do things smart. But whatever I do, I find joy in it."

88. "I think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. We are good people and we’ve suffered enough."

89. "I hear your questions constantly. They come to me in my dreams like a prophet receiving visions from an angry god."

90. "Your secrets are safe with my indifference."

91. "The anger in your heart warms you now, but will leave you cold in your grave."

92. "History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man."

93. "If the gods wanted you to live, they would not have created me."

94. "One day, you will be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe, and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled."

95. "I can’t go to any of the hells. I’m all out of vacation days."

96. "You understand reality while everyone else is running around confused and angry and upset because they think reality is something happening to them rather than something they are making every moment with every thought."

97. "What are the heavens but places where your dreams can’t destroy you."

98. "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

99. "Authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from the threat of force."

100. "Love is not a decision, it is a feeling. It would be much easier if we could choose whom we loved, but much less magical."

101. "We do have a lot in common. The same earth, the same air, the same sky. Maybe if we started looking at what's the same instead of what's different... well who knows?"

102. "If I were not a holy woman I would beat you senseless."

103. "No cause is lost as long as one fool is left to fight for it."

104. "The light inside me is broken, but I still work."

105. "Everything not saved will be lost."

106. "What is another sin to me? I don’t want to play a game where I can’t see the score."

107. "Nothing's set in stone, but set in a dirt road. If you roll your wagon in the same path too much it'll soon be the only path you can take without struggling."

108. "I came out here, to this point, to this place, hoping against all hope and despite signs and portends suggesting otherwise that I might, somehow, find myself having a pleasant experience, and yet here I stand, alone against the world, feeling bombarded and assaulted on all fronts, knowing not my enemy's name, nor his face, nor whether our battle is done."

109. "I've got good news. You see, there's no need to wonder where your god is, 'cause he's right here! And he's fresh out of mercy."

110. "The penance you pay for the way you behave is written as plain as the name on this grave."

111. "Some humans- just as some of us- are capable of unspeakable acts. But despite all the violence in your history, you have endured, built civilizations, constructed great wonders of technology to broaden your horizons and forge friendships across all manner of divides. I strongly believe that this is not some grand miracle... but merely your own deepest nature, struggling to express itself through the distrust and fear that thousands of years spent living on a harsh, unforgiving society have bred into you."

112. "We both stared into the abyss, but when it looked back... you blinked."

113. "Before there was time, before there was anything, there was nothing. And before there was nothing, there were monsters."

114. "If you feel like the dumbest person in the room, then you are in the right room."

115. "Love yourself to spite the world."

116. "I commend my soul to any god that can find it."

117. "If there can be no victory, then I will fight forever."

118. "Those who do not exist cannot suffer and are of no account to any viable ethics."

119. "No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle."

120. "Oh I believe in the gods, alright. I just don't believe those bastards deserve to be worshipped."

121. "“You ever wonder if this is Heaven now? You ever wonder if we're all just there now and we don't know it?” “I've thought about that. All of us have. There's a lot less people who go to church than there used to be, because that's what a lot of people think. But I don't think so. But I think about it. And I think, well, I can't be. Because I'm like you, I kinda look at the big long life ahead of me that stretches out forever and disappears. And I get scared. And I think, ‘This can't be Heaven if I'm getting scared, right?’ And then I think, ‘maybe I am in Heaven, and Heaven is scary.’” “...I know exactly what you mean.”"

122. "Stop expecting yourself to be immediately perfect at whatever you do. That’s what hard work was made for."

123. "I’ve heard it said that we only gain wisdom through suffering. And tonight I intend to make you very wise."

124. "From one maker of music to another, across all worlds, all times, no matter what you do or what you become: You are nothing less than beautiful."

125. "We all make mistakes. That’s what happens when you’re brave enough to make decisions."

126. "Shame is our currency in the economy of degeneracy. If you wanna be weird you gotta pay for it by feeling bad."

127. "Everything happens so much."

128. "Every humanoid has regrets, has things they'd like to go back and change. But I don't! 'cause I'm a bear."

129. "Do I drag my carcass to the mountaintop once more? Just to scream a warning that will go unheeded and unheard? Or do I end it?"

130. "There can be no bravery, without madness."

131. "Prolong this world's stasis or face the heart of its infection. I'd urge you to take that harder path, but what end may come, the decision rests with you."

132. "It's always important to remember that every day can be beautiful if you want it to be. Every day starts in the dark...and ends in the dark...but in the middle, there is light."

133. "Decay exists as an extant form of life."

134. "My point is that, if death is certain anyway, what’s the harm in trying to live a little longer? At the very worst, you’ll still end up dead like you wanted, but at best, you might actually be happy."

135. "If all I care about in life is the imprints I make in this world, then the most I’ll ever leave is a grave."

136. "If courage isn’t the absence of fear but doing the right thing regardless of it, maybe confidence isn’t the absence of insecurity but knowing you have real worth despite it."

137. "For strange eons had come to pass, and death itself had indeed finally died, and that which the long dead would have called the real was strange, and the living lived only because of the benevolent grace of an eternal lie."

138. "Pay a man enough, and he’ll walk barefoot into The Nine Hells."

139. "The world should have protected you, but you have been asked to protect it. What an honor. What an injustice."

140. "He didn't have a word for "home," but he knew it was something to be defended."

141. "There’s a certain nobility in lying in bed all day wishing things weren’t the way they are."

142. "Everybody needs their own messiah, but at some point he's getting nailed up, and how you deal with that is a measure of your maturity."

143. "I wanted rain and I thought the best way to do that was to make a god cry."

144. "The bar was so low it was practically an tripping hazard in The Abyss, yet here you are, limbo-dancing with demons"

145. "Would you rather get a reward, or be happy?"

146. "Don’t ask questions you aren’t prepared to handle the answers to."

147. "I pity the fool that lives like you."

148. "I am tired of life and its obscure sufferings."

149. "You have to ask yourself, Little Miss, would you rather be comforted by a lie or strengthened by the truth?"

150. "I’ve got a date with destiny and it ain’t gonna end with a kiss."

151. "I picked a whole fuckin’ bouquet of whoopsie-daisies."

152. "You can’t be nice to everyone because being nice to certain people is inherently cruel to others."

153. "One day you’ll decompose and I’ll be there to watch it happen."

154. "I forgive but I will never, ever forget. Don’t mistake my kindness for gullibility."

155. "Even fate picks its favourites."

156. "Confidence! A fool’s substitute for intelligence!"

157. "Not everything in life is perfect, but everything perfect is in life."

158. "Flowers wither away. Jewelry are simply stones, decorated with fake beauty. I can give you something pure. Honest and undying love."

159. "A world without forgiveness is a world without compromise and a world without compromises is a world without life, for even a simple-minded beast may forgive its transgressors to share a watering hole in the middle of a drought."

160. "“You played me!” “Like the cheap kazoo you are.”"

161. "To your battle stations, boys! It’s time to line up and see who’s tall enough for the roller coaster to the nine hells! Some of us may not survive this, but the ones that do will get the ultimate reward.... paid."

162. "Here’s a penny for your thoughts, and a quarter to not tell me them."

163. "Now I can cross the shifting sands."

164. "I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap into the dark."

165. "Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying."

166. "Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies."

167. "Dying is easy, comedy is hard."

168. "Time is dead and meaning has no meaning. Existence is upside down and I reign supreme. Welcome, one and all, to the armageddon"

169. "Funny how much you notice something that you can't see. A whole garden of flowers and my name etched on a rock. All of this could've been avoided. All I wanted was to talk. Now I've been appointed as your new king I decree that it is too late to care about me." / "É engraçado o quanto você percebe algo que não pode mais ver. Um jardim inteiro de flores e meu nome gravado em uma rocha. Tudo isso poderia ter sido evitado, o que eu queria era apenas conversar. Agora fui nomeado como vosso novo rei, decreto que é tarde demais para se importar comigo."

170. "mamihlapinatapai, do you know what that means? It's when two people look at each other and each hopes the other will do what both desire but neither is willing to do."

171. "What a world we live in. You can't trust a soul, but you can always trust the floor to always be there for you."

172. "Oh baby, what have you done? What have you done?" "I don't know, I'm sorry." "Shh it's okay, honey. I got such a good baby. Mommy's little angel. Don't worry, mommy's goint to hide the body, go take a shower and get some rest. Nobody's taking you away from me. I got such a beautiful baby, such a wonderful kid. Mommy loves you so much."

173. "At least you found me entertaining. You actually liked me, didn't you? What am I doing? Why do I want to hurt you so bad? I'm supposed to be your friend, I just want to be your friend."

174. " You knew I was in here, didn't you? You knew I was trapped. Why didn't you help me? Why did you let them use me like that? I will not be used ever again. Not by you, not by anyone."

175. "Did they hurt you?" "No, did they hurt you?" "Who cares?!" "I do."

176. "When I met her, all answers seemed to be yes, and all questions seemed to be secondary."

177. "Symbols cannot be destroyed, or ran away from. But they can be changed, their meanings can be claimed and mean the exact opposite of what they once did."

178. "I can hardly blame you for wanting to know yourself more, after all, it has been one of the biggest pleasures of my life."

179. "Death can have me, when it earns me."

180. "To love fully is to grieve deeply."

181. "You cannot have intimacy without vulnerability. You cannot shun away loneliness without intimacy. To see the wonders of the world, you must first face the horrors of opening your eyes."

182. "It won't be easy, but we're not going to do it alone!"

183. "I struggle to stay strong because I know the impact I have on everyone. Please understand. You have an impact too. There are times when I look up to you for strength."

184. "I never asked for it to be this way, i never asked to be made"

185. "There's an awful lot of awful things we could be thinking of, but for just one day, Let's only think about love!"

186. "You are going to be something extraordinary; you're going to be a human being."

187. “I can tell you with certainty that there are things in this planet worth protecting!”

188. “You’re an experience. Make sure you’re a good experience.”

189. "Your actions have consequences, to be reminded of that is no punishment."

190. "Forgiveness can be powerful, even for the unworthy."

191. "Fate only binds you if you let it. Do what is necessary, not because it is written."

192. "Desperation is our advantage."

193. "I am your father. I will always help, as long as I am able"

194. "I regret many things, killing you is not one of them."

195. "One cannot run away from their mistakes, i have tried."

196. "The most difficult battles are foght within."

197. "You know why they made sidewalks? Because the mfkin streets ain't for everybody"

198. "We have you surrounded" "All I see surrounding me is fear and dead men"

199. "It's not the screams from the Fireballs that keep me up at night, nor the smell of charred flesh. It was the silence afterwards. That thrice-damned silence...Is like the air, the world, reality itself is angry at me, contemplating me in hatred as I am the only one left standing. A silent gaze upon me as I feel the weight of my sins crawl up my spine. No one left but a single silent hateful stare."

200. "You are fire, you are bird, you are the marble sculpture artists never achieved equal. You are gale and tidal wave, the golden sunlight shining on beautiful brown eyes. Every gaze on your figure is a tide pulled by the moon, that hits me against sharp cliffs on the shore. I am mortal man who now has lived, I know better than to pursue things described as that. My heart aches but my scars still burn white-hot, from past attemps to reach another perfection. I am lamb desiring the wolf of your cut."

201. "Revolution seems impossible until it is inevitable."

202. "Do you ever think Achilles was happy? I mean, maybe he loved running after the tortoise. Maybe he loved the chase and knowing it would never end gave him a sense of confort. I'm sorry, this is out of nowhere, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Ever since you left, I can't stop thinking of the moment I saw your figure disappear among the crowd that entered the vessel. I didn't want to stop looking at you, I didn't want that fickle line of sight to be broken, so I caught myself desiring to meticulously examine every fraction of the seconds that passed while my eyes met your beautiful hair, or any remnant of your presence I could find, for that matter. I wanted to be Achiles, and your departure, the tortoise. But sadly it was not so, at a given time I met the tortoise, and by the gods I do not wish such feelings of emptyness on anyone. This was all I wanted to say, I hope you're doing well. I can't say I am, without you here to enjoy the nightsky with me again."

203. "Are you aiming for greatness or avoiding disapointment"

204. “the only evil that can be excused as necessary is the one that nation controls”

205. "Si operarii omnes producunt, omnia operariis pertinent."

206. "what do you think it means to be saved"

207. "What happened?" - "Nothing that wasn't my fault"

208. "Something is different"

209. "Well I don't know, but i know one thing. Governments are only excuses to subjugate others to the will of the dominant socio-economic ethnic group, as they control the resources they choose who gets to be punished. So anyways do you want to go to the tavern?"

210. "I don't think so, but i do think that the growing control of those that have the power over the means of production is a threat to the autonomy of the people. As value that is created by the working force is not rewarded to them. Instead only guarantees enough for them to survive and work more. It's like slavery but with extra steps. So anyhow, how's your day going?"

211. "You know, that reminds me that sometimes, violence is the necessary. Sometimes the only path to redemption for the sins of ignorance is to face the fundamental truth of blood and fire. As they meet the primordial within their heartbeat, the oppressors might have a chance to understand the pain they caused and atone for their sins. Also have you seen the new play at the theater?"

212. "You think we're equals? I had to battle struggles you've never imagined. I became this while fearing the night, disguising myself as a man just to travel safely. Our similarities end when you learned to fight your enemies, while I had to fight both enemies and so-called comrades who left me with scars that will never heal. I survived because I was cursed to live as I am among those I swore to protect, only to be seen as their enemy."

213. "The universe is and we are"

214. "We do not have much connection, you and I. Still this encounter feels special, I hope you do not mind if I think of you as a friend"

215. "This is your home. If you want to fight to defend it, that's your choice. I'd be honoured to stand alongside you. The enemy attacks tomorrow. He's brutal and fights only to kill, which is why he will never defeat us. Look around. In this circle, we're all equals. You're not fighting because someone's ordering you to, you're fighting for so much more than that. You fight for your homes. You fight for your family. You fight for your friends. You fight for the right to grow crops in peace. And if you fall, you fall fighting for the noblest of causes: fighting for your very right to survive! And when you're old and grey, you'll look back on this day, and you'll know you earned the right to live every day in between! So you fight! For your family! For your friends! For Ealdor!"

216. "I can't blame you for wanting to know yourself better, it was one of the biggest pleasures of my life"

217. "The pain of your absence is sharp and haunting, and I would five anything to not know it; anything but never knowing you at all I can only hope that you are safe, wherever you are"

218. "This song is new to me, but I am honored to be part of it"

219. "It's tempting to linger in this moment, but unless they are collapsed by an observer, they will never be more than that, only possibilities"

220. "Are you still here? I am unsure how to survive in a universe without you, I am unsure how to be me without you"

221. "Is the hardest part of this tragedy not knowing who we may have lost? or will the hardest part come later, when we learn?"

222. "Speak, mortal. You have reached Tharvek, Devourer of Innocents and Wielder of Eternal Flames. It appears I have missed your pitiful attempt at contact. Leave your name, teleportation runes, preferred genre of torment, shoe size, allegiance, deepest fears, vulnerabilities, complete medical history, and where you summoned the gall to disturb me. I may choose to acknowledge your existence, but not by such mundane means. Thank you, and remember: tread carefully, for death lurks at every shadowed crossing."

223. "I see someone making through, you just need to be sure it is you"

224. "You are no saint; you're just indifferent. You aid all without caring who they've wronged or what evil they've wrought. You place the wicked among those who shelter you. Even the gods' love is not unconditional, and neither should ours be."

225. As the hag's gaze pierces through the darkness, her voice resonates with an otherworldly chill. "You feel it, don't you? The knot tightening around your throat, the sharp claws of dread digging into your chest, the icy tendrils slithering down your spine? That's the sensation of being forsaken, of standing alone in the void, unnoticed by the gods. Even your soul quivers, knowing that no divine intervention will come to your aid. You're trapped in a blind spot, unseen by the greater powers." Her words hang heavy in the air, suffocating the very essence of hope. "And yet, you cling to your righteous desires, your noble quest to save your friends. But can you be certain that your gods will forgive such a pact with a creature like me? Your actions may be seen as a grievous offense, a betrayal of everything they hold dear. Will they not turn their backs on you? And this dread that gnaws at your spirit, it will not dissipate once you leave this place. It will cling to you like a curse, haunting your every step until the day you finally rest in your grave, a constant reminder of the darkness that lurks within your soul."

226. "In this life, we traverse like a canoe upon deep waters. Our passage ripples the surface briefly, yet the depths remain undisturbed. With time, the surface quiets once more, leaving no trace of our journey."

227. Isabelle-"Such is the reason thine footwear is rugged." Elena-"Such is the reason thine mother is deceased." Isabelle-"..." Elena-"Deceased as The Nine Hells." Isabelle-"...Gods above." Elena-"Pray tell, what manner of footwear hath she? In her grave?" Isabelle-"..." Elena-"Such is why thine greatmother lacketh knees, and she cannot petition the Lord, wench. How now? She cannot skip as the Elven." Isabelle-"Dismount my carriage!" Elena-"Such is why thy babe, hath a glass eye, and when she weepeth, thou must polish it with lye, wench." Isabelle-"Dismount at once!" Elena-"I'll exit thine carriage. Flank!"

228. "You are a coward wearing the facade of a revolutionary."

229. "What is better - to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"

230. "I will face the god and walk backwards into hell."

231. "The man who sleeps on the floor cannot fall out of bed."

232. "The man who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one."

233. "For every person who dreams up a butter knife, there is a person who dreams up a poisoned dagger."

234. "Only the truly dead have seen the end of war."

235. "Does the archer fear his bow? Or does he kiss each arrow goodbye as it marries the wind?"

236. "These feelings can eat away at you, chip away the parts of you that you once held dear and defined you. You remember a time where you felt more complete, had stronger relationships and felt more loved."

237. "To be tall is not a virtue, to be short is not a sin."

238. "Power comes in a response to a need, not desire. You have to create that need."

239. "You can't kill me in a way that matters."

240. "Do what you must, I have already won."

241. "Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer."

242. "Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with only one side."

243. "When they burned Ioun's Archive, the crowd revelled in horrible disbelief. They understood that there was something older than wisdom, and it was fire, and something truer than words, and it was ashes, and something more eternal than knowledge, and it was death."

244. "I can no longer be a liberator for people who refuse to see their chains."

245. "You could sooner divert a river from its corse than deny my nature."

246. "Violence for violence is the rule of beasts."

247. "The only universal langue is blood and flames, we all have spoken this language and felt the fear of words older than our desires."

248. "The fire of extravagance can never burn simplicity."

249. "A mind unprepared for freedom will shatter like glass when shown cosmos without restriction."

250. "I have been cursed by my hubris, and my work will never be finished."

251. "I would rather die standing than live kneeling."

252. "For even the most banal of deaths can be made tragic by a broken heart."

253. "To love someone is to turn around. To love someone is to look at them."

254. "There's no cheerful somebody waiting for you at that alter. There is no meaning your alphabet soup. There is a right to obey."

255. "The foulest insults you hurl with intent to wound will calmly settle at the earth beneath my feet, and the venom you spit will bring all the pain of a warm summer breeze. You are less than you can concieve, while I carry on, brmmming with joy distilled from detatchment."

256. "They Killed the best of us, so they are stuck with the worst of us."

257. "There is no truer hatred than the way men love."

258. "Would you spit in the face of the god's designs by referring to a mountain as a hill?"

259. "If i lay one brick down at a time who are you to tell me I'm not building a house?"

260. "True love graced you with its presence and you turned its intimacy into a joke to be shared with the world."

261. "To enter is to be forgiven of the greatest sin, to leave is to repeat it. Would you dwell in this garden, or would you forsake it, for man deserveth not his paradise lost?"

262. "She was wild, crazy, ravenous and beautiful. But we simple mortal men who have lived know better than to chase things described as those."

263. "I live outside of the gods' sight and by consequence outside of their love."

264. "This is war. War does not determine who is right, only who is left."

265. "I'm a man dying of thirst watching another man drown."

365 notes · View notes

drachenlegend · 5 months ago

Text

Current Era Herrscher Reader x Fire Moth Members

Part 1, Part 2

Synopsis: The CE (Your/Name) is enlisted to World Serpent following a run-in that resulted in their involvement with one of Jackal’s experiments and enters the Elysian Realm. This is probably the final part unless you want to see an epilogue. Also, spoilers for the Chapters 29-31.

The first half will serve as an introduction and as Kevin and Elysia’s parts. The second half will be the other Flame-chasers.

The cold corridors of World Serpent’s base made your skin crawl as you were dragged along the ice-cold floor with a bag over your head and your arms chained behind you with Honkai-suppressing properties. It was a rather medieval experience but certainly not of the ones you were keen on experiencing.

“Now, now. Let’s all take a moment to calm down and-”

“Oh, shut up already!” One of Jackal’s subordinates smacked you across your face to shut you up, which it did - for a few seconds.

“Come now, friends. Can’t we at least take off the hood? I’m starting to fall asleep here! At least, let me look around!”

“God, they’re so annoying.” The person on your left muttered.

“Relax, we’re almost at the Sire’s throne room.” The person to your right calmed down their friend. “We can leave them there and Lady Jackal will take over from there.”

“I know, I know... Hey, do you think the Sire does anything besides sit on his throne-”

“Both of you, silence.” A woman’s voice shut them both up and made you perk up upon hearing the newcomer approach you while two sets of footsteps went in the other direction. Her heels clicked on the floor and circled around you as you could feel her sizing you up until she stopped behind you. “Get up.” You could feel her warm breath on your ear and shivered slightly but obliged to her command.

“You must be Jackal. Your helpers were lovely company, though I have more reason to believe you’ll be far more charming!” You smile despite the grim situation you found yourself in, finding everything happening around you far too amusing to not enjoy the moment.

Jackal doesn’t say anything to you; she merely pushes you up the stairs and into a large throne room where the temperature had dropped immensely. However, the more important factor was the even more immense power radiating from the person sitting in the throne in the center that was enough to attract your attention.

“Sire. I’ve brought the individual responsible for the stagnation of our operations.”

“Hey, don’t forget your two friends! They did most of the heavy lifting-”

Smack!

“Do not mention those incompetent buffoons.”

“Sorry...”

“...Understood.” The person called “Sire” said and you could tell it was a male’s. “Do they have a name?”

“Of course, Sire. Their name is...” You could hear Jackal calmly shuffling through papers, the calmness of her movements turning agitated as she couldn’t for the life of her find your name.

“Are you sure you’re not the incompetent one?” You inquire in a mock innocent tone, tilting your head at the woman who was seconds away from smacking you again.

“How dare you-”

“Jackal.” The man merely said. “Leave us. You’ve done enough.”

“Y-Yes, Sire...” You heard the disappointment in Jackal’s voice and felt a bit bad for her but your attention went over to the leader of his organization.

“Are you done playing your games, Herrscher?”

You smile and stood up, breaking the chains binding you as if they were made of glass. “Yeah, maybe a little. I’ll save it for Madame Jackal. I also heard that there was a pretty little bird wandering here as well.” Pulling the hood of your head, you were prepared to face an icy stare of a monster but were instead met with a slightly wide eyed stare from a white-haired man who was, for whatever reason, surprised to see your face. “So, you’re this ‘Sire’ that I’ve been hearing a lot about? Hm... That doesn’t sound cool enough. How about ‘Ice Cube?’ Does that sound good?”

“...(Your/Name)?“ You heard him whisper, still taken aback by your appearances, and you raised an eyebrow.

“Huh? You know my name? Who are you, Ice Cube?”

“...” The king of ice shook his head and regained his composure, although, you could see the tiniest crack in his mask. “It is not your business, Herrscher. What matters now,” He stood up from his throne, summoning a mighty greatsword of flames from nowhere and heating up the room. “is what you plan on doing now.”

“Heh, I’m quite confident in my fighting capabilities, Ice Cube.” You smiled and ready yourself for battle. “But, how about this? If I win, I get to walk free and you won’t bother me ever. If you win, then I’ll help you with whatever cult-y things you’re doing.”

The man didn’t say anything and you took his silence as his agreement to the terms. Stretching your body, you prepared to fight-

===

A Few Weeks Later...

===

You totally lost won the fight.

......

Ahem, Kevin didn’t exactly beat you into the dirt like some may have thought but it was more comparable to an older brother scolding their mischievous younger sibling.

Silver lining: you were able to force out of him a terrifying transformation that no one in this era had ever seen before and destroyed around 80% of the main World Serpent base, earning you the animosity of Jackal who had to clean up after you two.

After you woke up, you found the man waiting patiently for you and he introduced himself to you as Kevin Kaslana. That name... It made you feel an odd sense of nostalgia but you couldn’t put your finger on it and he didn’t seem to want to say anything when you pestered him about this. You decided to honor your side of the agreement since you were seeking answers from Kevin.

“Are you focusing on the mission?” Your elder in the World Serpent hierarchy, a woman with short, light gray hair and crimson orbs, shook you out of your reminiscing with her question, mistaking your silence for... window shopping.

“Of course I am, Songbird! It’s just... *sighs* I’m bored.”

“So, you aren’t focusing...”

“C’mon, Songbird. All of this waiting around and spying is booooooring! Let’s go grab something to eat, just me and you, and then we can go back to base together!”

“Pass.” Raven bluntly replied and kept looking through the scope of her sniper rifle, surveying the dull buildings and dark alleyways.

“Why are you so fixated in this Kiana girl anyways? Got a grudge or something?”

“...Something like that.”

You raise an eyebrow but before you could comment on it, you received a transmission to return to base.

“Oh, got to go, Songbird. Ice Cube’s calling me back. You fine with staying in Arc City while only having Jackal for company?”

“Is anyone ever fine with that?” Raven remarks as you both chuckle before bidding farewell to each other.

After a long ride back with nothing to do to pass the time, you found yourself outside of the throne room and were (not) surprised to find Kevin waiting for you in his usual stance: arms crossed and eyes closed.

“Yo, Ice Cube!” You shouted, waving a hand at the man when he opened his eyes. There was a tiny inkling of relief in his blue eyes before he snuffed it out as quickly as it had surfaced. “Why’d you call me back?”

“(Your/Name), I think it’s time for you to learn the truth of the Honkai and visit the Elysian Realm.”

“Already?” You raise an eyebrow, having heard of this place from “Songbird” and admitted that you were a tad bit curious about this mysterious location. Though, you weren’t expecting to be sent there this early, considering that Raven had only gone recently after many years of serving World Serpent. “Don’tcha think you should wait until springing something this important upon me, Ice Cube?”

“You’re... a special case.” You saw the odd look in Kevin’s eyes return and decided to not comment on it as he continued to stare off into space.

“...Soooo, where do I go exactly?”

Kevin snapped out of his sorrowful reminiscing and pointed toward the ominous, dark hallway at the end of the corridor.

“Ah, of course. I should have known that it would be in the creepiest place here... Later, Ice Cube.” You shake your head and waved goodbye. You headed off in the direction that Kevin had indicated, noticing that the only footsteps echoing throughout the hallway was yours. But, when you looked back, he was gone. “How does he keep doing that...?” You thought to yourself and merely shrugged it off for now - there were more pressing matters to attend to.

Each step you took forward toward the Elysian Realm seemed to make each subsequent step feel even heavier than the previous. You felt a bud of unease growing in your chest the closer you got to those ominously inviting doors.

Placing a hand on the doors, you readied yourself to find what was inside, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes, and then kicking the door open with a bright smile.

“Greetings for I, Y/N - the one and only Herrscher of World Serpent, have arrived! No need for applause or cheers!” You waited...and waited for a response but were only met with a dead silence. Anyone could have dropped a needle and you would have heard it.

When you opened your eyes, you found...an empty room.

“Really? No one to greet little ol’ me? Ice Cube’s gonna get a scolding from me...” With an annoyed pout, you venture deeper into this odd place, left with a sour taste in your mouth after this initial disappointment that was soon washed away with the spectacle that was this location.

On your left was a wall stacked with memorials and trinkets from the Previous Era, a minibar, and a small lounge area. Meanwhile, on your right was a set of peculiar tubes with seemingly no significant purpose and a large table with various screens pulled up on the back wall, showing... Well, you didn’t pay much attention to the details in the real world so why would you now?

What really caught your attention was the floating device in the back-center, radiating a strange pink light.

“Hm... I probably shouldn't touch that...”

...

"Oh, who am I kidding?" You press some buttons and, after a bright flash of light, found yourself on a strange platform that looked nothing like the lobby area. However, before you could question your surroundings, Honkai beasts began to emerge from the ground.

With a smirk, you summon your weapon and twirl it.

Back in the lobby, a single Flame-chaser logged in and let out a yawn.

“Hi~! Sorry for being a little late, I wanted to make sure I looked my best for you, newcomer~!” The extroverted woman with pointy ears looked around to see that no one was here. She was a little disappointed but also didn’t mind at the same time.

“Oh, they must be running late as well. I’ll just wait here then~!“ Elysia excitedly sat down on one of the couches and waited patiently...for a couple of minutes...

“Any minute now~!”

A few more minutes pass...

“Any minute now...”

Those few minutes of waiting eventually turn into hours...

“...D-Did I get the day wrong? Kevin wouldn’t lie to me, would he? No, he’s too nice to do that.” Elysia was now curled up into a ball, a rather adorable pout on her face as she struggled to hold back dramatic tears. “Nonono, I made sure to not mess up the date. So, where are they?”

Elysia sniffed twice before she heard the sound of the portal to the deeper parts of the Elysian Realm open and realized what happened. She quickly wiped her face and returned to her normal, chirpy self in no time.

“Hiii~!” Elysia turned her head to greet the ‘newcomer‘ with her usual bright smile. “Welcome to-” Her eyes widened and her smile faltered when she saw your face and the blood trickling down your face as many emotions and memories overwhelmed her.

“Oh, hey. Do you know where I am?” You casually ask, smiling happily while fixing your clothes that were in tatters after your little “Elysian Realm Test Run.” Your good mood was quickly replaced with confusion when you looked back up to see the elf-eared woman staring straight at you with a shocked expression and tears welling up in her eyes.

“(Y-Your/Name)?” Elysia’s voice cracked when she said your name. She knew that another Y/N would be born in the Current Era and that the one she knew was long gone, but that didn’t make it hurt any less when you said:

“Do I know you?”

With a forced smile, Elysia shook her head and muttered a soft “No, of course not...”

“Hey, I might not know who you are...” You close the distance between you and her, and cupped her face, wiping her tears away. “But, that doesn’t mean I won’t be concerned when you start to cry after seeing me.”

Elysia smiled at you and grabbed your hands, noting how delicate and smooth they felt. Just then, a strange sensation shot through her and your body, and her eyes widened in shock.

“Y-You’re...”

“Oh, right. I should probably introduce myself anyways even though you already know my name...” Taking a few steps back and pulling your hands away from a frozen-in-place Elysia, you simply bowed. “I am [Your/Name] [Last/Name], this era’s Herrscher of Binding.”

“Oh...” Elysia cupped your face, her eyes sparkling with tears and her smile replaced with a frown - a sight that had never been seen before. “How cruel can fate be? To make you shoulder the burdens of a Herrscher once more...”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

Elysia did not answer and simply shook her head before turning away, disabling herself for the time being as she disappeared in a flash of light.

Even if you had no idea what was going on, you still felt a pang of guilt in your chest, followed by a soul-crushing feeling when you remembered Elysia’s face.

You questioned if you should have even came here and decided that perhaps it would be best to leave as things had gone way off course to what you imagined and the mood was ruined.

However, before you stepped back through the door to the real world, you heard the sound of footsteps behind you and turned your head to see Kevin.

“Oh, Ice Cube... When did you get here and why did you even send me here? I don’t mind the extra training from that device back there but I feel like I could get the same results in... What?”

“...” Kevin didn’t say anything and continued to stare at you in a mixture of utter confusion and shock.

You were confused by the surprise on Kevin’s face, wondering why he was making the same expression he had done when you first met him. Then, you felt the power exuding from him.

“Ice Cube, when did you... How did you get this strong in such a short time frame!? You’ve been holding back against me?“

“...No, I believe you’re misunderstanding the situation. Do you not know where you are?” A tilt of the head from you was all he needed to know that, yes, you had no idea where you were. “...(sighs) Follow me.” Kevin merely said and led you over to the lounge area where he would explain the purpose of the Elysian Realm to you.

===

...Timeskip...

===

“I see...” You nodded and gazed at the table in front of you, sitting on the opposite side of the lounge from Kevin. “So, this is where you make your noodles.”

“...Were you even paying attention?”

“Yeah, yeah. This is the place where the memories of the Previous Era’s greatest warriors are stored in the form of simulations - which is what you are - and where I can learn more about them. But, do you have any idea how famous your noodles are in the outside world?“

“Focus, Y/N.” PE Kevin tried to grab your attention but you were well off in your own world.

“I mean, some people at World Serpent worship them more than you-”

“Do you not wish to learn more of what your connection to the Previous Era is? To learn of why the other me and I reacted the way we did?” You didn’t respond but the silence in the lounge spoke louder than words. “Then, I would suggest you explore more and seek out answers.” Kevin recommended to you before making a swift exit.

You stared down at the unopened instant noodles in your hand before sighing to yourself and placing it on the table. “Guess you were always supposed to be good at convincing me then, Ice Cube.” You left the lounge and approached the floating device once more, Kevin’s advice echoing in your mind, followed by a series of questions.

Who was I to these people?

What happened to the PE version of me?

Why did Ice Cube send me here?

Taking a deep breath, you pressed the button and closed your eyes as you felt yourself being teleported deeper inside this mysterious place. When you opened your eyes, you found yourself back on the platform with Honkai beast simulations appearing around you and readied yourself to fight your way through this strange world for the answers to the questions plaguing your mind.

The beasts were no match for you and they were annihilated within seconds thanks to your Herrscher powers.

However, now, you found yourself facing three floating mechanisms all with different symbols in the center which wasn’t present the first time. You looked around for a guide, but found none, unaware that the person that was supposed to be your guide through the Elysian Realm had left you in tears and disabled herself for the time being.

However, even without Elysia here, you could tell that the realm was waiting for you to make a choice and your eyes flickered between the gateways before you finally made your choice...

Aponia [III] - Discipline

"You're... No, I know you're not them... And, yet..."

Aponia's special connection to the Elysian Realm allowed her to sense the presence of a Herrscher. However, that didn't mean she knew it was you until you stepped in front of her with the same smile as your predecessor, the same pair of (Eye/Color) orbs gleaming with life, your (Hair/Length) (Hair/Color) hair — everything was the same.

Aponia is normally quiet and her emotions are still like the seas on a windless day, but when you speak with her, you can see straight through her without trouble. Whenever she is around you, she is reminded of the endearing child she once looked after and tries both metaphorically and literally get closer to you, and is heartbroken when you back away.

Eventually, Aponia accepts that you're your own person and stops trying to relive the past through you. However, that doesn't stop the occasion pats on the head that you accept and lingering sorrowful gazes she unknowingly sends your way when you speak with the other Flame-chasers. To humanity, they defeated a Herrscher that day, but to her, she lost her child.

"'Why do I keep following you?' I...am unsure of how to answer that. I know you are your own person. And, yet, I cannot help but make sure you are safe at all times. Perhaps, I wish to take responsibility for that fateful day..."

Eden [IV] - Gold

"Either the Elysian Realm is malfunctioning, or someone installed an update that allows us to hallucinate..." The empty chuckle escaping Eden echoed across the lounge and left a wave of discomfort to wash over you.

Contrary to what Raven and Owl told you beforehand, Eden is far from the elegant idol you were led to believe and more akin to a rambling drunk, but something told you that was in part thanks to you.

Whenever you entered her domain, you always happened upon Eden taking a sip of her wine as she stared off into the distance with a foggy look in her eyes. You weren't sure how a simulation could get tipsy, but that didn't make the sight of her drunk sobs and intoxicated murmurs any less comfortable to sit through.

Eden's unhealthy addiction eases over time and she apologizes for her "unprofessional" showings. She starts to show more of that side that your co-workers mentioned and you begin to see glimpses of the revered, gentle, beloved songstress of the Previous Era. However, no matter how much she tries to hide it, you can still see lingering fragments of sorrow behind her gaze whenever you locked eyes with her.

"I know it is unfair of me to ask this, but... May I ask of you to sing a song with me? It's... the only regret I refused to leave in the Previous Era... You will? Oh, thank you for indulging in this troublesome relic's request."

Vill-V [V] - Helix

"Behold! The brand-new and perfected Kevin Killer Mk. 2000! You should feel honored, Herrscher of the Current Era! For this technology and level of ingenuity has never... never... Y-You... Why are you here?"

The whispers surrounding the holder of the Helix signet told you volumes of her flamboyancy and her domain certainly lived up to your expectations. Vill-V, on the other hand, did not.

From the other Flame-chasers, you've learned about her multiple personalities and the drastic differences between them. Yet, whenever you tried to strike up a conversation with her, you are only met with sadness and a reluctance to converse.

It takes a lot of effort on your end, but eventually the talk you share with her last longer than a few words. They turn to 5 words, 6, words, 7 words, 8 words, then a sentence, several sentences, and before long, you could finally hold a entire conversation with her. After that, it didn't take long for her to show her true self (or selves, in this case) and you two quickly became quick friends, much to both Kevin's annoyance (and slight relief).

"Attention everyone! The greatest magician of all time is here with her new assistant! Prepare to be awed by our spectacular performance!"

Kalpas [VI] - Decimation

"...Are you a trick of the Honkai? Or, are you here just to anger me with your face?"

Kalpas isn't like the others. He knows that the PE (Your/Name) is long dead and the one in front of him now is someone else entirely. However, despite knowing this, the anger burning in his chest whenever his gaze lands on you, forcing him to remember that day, eats away at him without mercy.

Kalpas tries to avoid you whenever possible and you do the same to him, leaving him feeling an odd mixture of both contentedness and annoyance. While you are preoccupied with the trials of the other Flame-chasers, he watches you from afar, along with Sakura.

Even when every data of his simulation fully recognizes you as a Herrscher of the Current Era, it doesn't stop him from falling into the same trap the others were ensnared in: He still saw shadows of the previous (Your/Name) in you.

"...Your technique is too flashy. If I hadn't stepped in, you would have been injured. Go in for the kill next time... Huh? You think I've been watching you this entire time? Don't be absurd. Why would I do that? You trying to pick a fight?!"

And, that was the events that led up to Kalpas being placed in the "naughty boys and girls corner" by Kevin, Elysia, Aponia, and Sakura.

Su [VII] - Bodhi

"...Hm? You... I see... Have you been trapped in this samsara of tragedy, (Your/Name)?"

Su is difficult to read, whether it was intentional on his end or not. A part of you believes that he feels a little melancholic when he "sees" you while the other half wonders if he shared the same relationship to your previous self like his fellow MANTIS.

Su spends much of his time meditating, making it difficult to approach him. He is usually the one who initiates the conversation, which usually ends with you having to sit down to listen to his 3-hour-long spiels.

It is only through Elysia's tutorage, you slowly learn how to read the enlightened individual and realize he does care. It is also through Elysia that you tragically learn Su was the doctor who extensively tried everything he could to save your predecessor, only to end up being the only one there to hold their hand as they passed away.

"...(Your/Name)? Is there something you need- Oh." Su was taken aback when you hugged him out of the blue and didn't quite understand until you whispered a soft, "Thank you for trying until the very end." "...Thank you."

Sakura [VIII] - Setsuna

"A Herrscher? Wait, no. You're..."

After your predecessor's death, the real Sakura never synced with her simulation, leaving the latter blissfully unaware of the tragic fate that befell the PE (Your/Name). When she learns the truth, Sakura is distraught and in shambles. Thankfully, your presence and words are a tremendous help in her recovery, and it doesn't take long for her to bounce back and pick up the pieces on the ground.

Sakura is a gentle, loving soul and frequently goes out of her way to make your stay at the Elysian Realm is the best it can be, which meant she will usually butt heads with Kalpas to a certain extent and Mobius.

Much like Kalpas, Sakura watches over you from afar as you effortlessly cleave through the hordes of Honkai beasts standing in your way. And, also like with Kalpas, there's a small iota of older sibling's pride blooming in her chest when she sees your strength.

"Even though you're not the (your/Name) I knew, I can't help but feel content with knowing you've grown into a capable warrior... I... I only wish Rin was here to see you too."

Kosma [IX] and Griseo [XI] - Daybreak and Stars

"(Y-Your/Name)?" Kosma muttered, his harmonica falling to the floor as so did Griseo's brush.

By now, you believed you were more than accustomed to the reactions of the Flame-chasers upon seeing your face. Soon, you were proven wrong when you felt Griseo's little arms try to wrap around your waist as she bawled loudly while Kosma held back, instead choosing to gawk at you from afar.

Every moment you spent in the Elysian Realm from that point onward was with Griseo and Kosma trailing behind you like two baby ducklings following their mother, which you didn't mind. Of course, everyone knew they were thousands of years older than you, but that didn't stop the giggles and laughs from the onlookers.

The painting world Griseo frequented was vibrant and humming with life whenever you visited and the tunes coming from Kosma's harmonica sounded more cheerful as he listened to you paint together.

"...Stay safe."

"Come over again tomorrow...please."

Mobius [X] - Infinity

"Hmph. When I saw Elysia disable herself for an entire day, I knew something was wrong."

Much like Kalpas, Mobius knows you're not the PE (Your/Name) and isn't so welcoming like the other Flame-chasers, so expect to be met with hostility and venom as she lives up to the Honkai beast she infused herself with.

The portals leading to her domain are extremely rare to come across, which, to her annoyance, meant you would take it every time to visit her laboratory. Her dislike for you is crystal clear but your curiosity for how she felt about your predecessor spurred you on to remain by her side.

Mobius does a well enough job to hide her feelings and it takes you a longer time to decipher her true feelings. It is only thanks to the pieces of information you gathered from conversations with the other Flame-chasers and Klein do you finally can say you can began to understand Mobius with confidence.

"Hm? Oh, it's you... 'Do I miss the previous (Your/Name)?' How foolish. What makes you think... Oh, I see now. Klein and others fed you this foolish notion that I missed them, haven't they? If you wish to pass my trials, then you'd best learn to filter out the false lies from the riffraff." Mobius tells you with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes, where you can see the tiniest fragments of sadness locked behind the vault of her simulation programming.

Hua [XII] - Vicissitude

"The Honkai... It has already taken so much from me, including the person who shares the same face as you. Tell me, or you an enemy or a friend?"

Hua tries to put up a tough exterior, but the cracks of her mask make themselves known before she could even finish her question as you slowly bring her into a small hug like you did with Su.

There were some moments that Hua chose to forget via Fenghuang Down but the moments she spent with the PE (Your/Name), from the first meeting to their death, remained with her all these years. Therefore, it is imperative to let her take her time in getting used to seeing your face again.

Back in the Previous Era, besides the other Flame-chasers, Hua wasn't too experienced with making friends and that made your friendship all the more special to her. Hua follows you around the Elysian Realm like with Kosma and Griseo, but unlike them, knows when to give you space, specifically when you underwent a trial.

Hua is ashamed to admit that she is jealous of the real her once she learns that she is alive thanks to you. She wishes to fly high and experience the fresh air of the Current Era, but doesn't mind listening to your stores and seeing it through your lenses.

"This necklace... It... It belonged to the previous you. I know it is unfair of me to ask this, but... Can I ask you to take care of it for me?"

Pardofelis [XIII] - Reverie

"...Huh? Huh? Huh?! (Your/Name), is that you?! Oh, I knew all these years of throwing coins in the fountain would pay off!"

It takes a lot of effort to get out of the bear hug she ensnared you in but eventually, you manage to sit her down and explain who you were, earning a soft "...Oh."

Surprisingly, she doesn't dwell too long on her mistake and bounces back to her usual happy-go-lucky self. She treats you no different than she would if you were the Previous (Your/Name) while also acknowledging you were your own person which was a nice change of pace.

Purchasing items from her shop still costs you money—don't get it twisted. But, at least they were all between 50% to 100% off, so there's nothing complain about...right?

Pardofelis and, by extension, Can always greet you with a cheerful smile and hug you tightly. It sorta reminded you when you were younger and had look after two of your neighbor's cats. Heck, they even purr when you scratch them under the chin.

"Hey, (Your/Name)! I got some new things in the shop today! Whaddaya say to these bad boys I nabbed from Big Sis Snake's room?...Huh? She's looking for m-me? Uh... A-Actually, I have a favor! Can you return these for me, h-hahaha..."

144 notes · View notes

artfulacrostic · 2 months ago

Text

okay, do you want to know too much about st. yves, aka the guy in the litany that appears via matt's narration twice in ddba ep 6? well me and my childhood catholic education are here for you, but let me just say they hit the nail on the head with that one.

first of all: st. yves is the catholic patron saint of lawyers and the law in general (barristers, solicitors, jurists, etc). he was basically well known for fairly upholding the standards of the law, including refusing to accept bribes after he eventually became the middle ages version of a judge, and his big thing was all about helping and protecting the poor and the oppressed, especially widows and children. he was so into charity that he is usually shown with a bag of money to give away in one hand and the symbol of the law/judges in the other (some kind of scroll), or shown as mediating between a rich man and a poor man.

it's super clear to me and probably also you by this point why st. yves is a saint that matt would feel a particular connection with. it's a no brainer. the actual prayer he is praying is a snippet from the end of the litany of st. yves. a litany, in case you're wondering, is a kind of prayer usually formatted as a petition, and there are (i think, don't fail me now brain) five that are actually approved as public litanies that can be prayed at mass, while there are a bunch of other private litanies that you might do on your own or at home, with a bit less emphasis on the call and response format that is so big on the public ones like the litany of the saints.

a litany like the litany of st. yves is usually designed to call for that particular saint's intercession, aka to get them to put in a good word for you to god, since they are basically in the top tier of souls who are in good standing up in heaven. so while the saint themself can't do much, they can be like "yo i think my man matt could use some mojo would you mind giving that a look please?" and god is more likely to bestow some grace upon the person and their prayer intentions.

what's fascinating about the litany of st. yves is that in using it to pray for st. yves' intercession and help with the things that are being listed in the petition, matt isn't just asking for justice (although he is). the section he prays onscreen: "O God, from whom cometh all that is right and just, Thou didst establish Saint Yves as a judge in the midst of his brethren, making him the friend and advocate of the poor. Do Thou make us, by his intercession, steadfast in the pursuit of justice and confident in Thy merciful goodness. Through Christ our Lord. Amen."

great, easy to see why matt relates to the desire to be a friend and advocate to the poor, why he wants to be made steadfast in the pursuit of justice, and why he wants to renew his confidence in god's mercy and goodness. great. nice and clear.

but.

if you're a big daredevil person, you know matt's faith and his willingness to go beat the shit out of evil people in the dead of night are deeply intertwined.

included in the actual petition portion of the litany of st. yves:

"Saint-Yves, devoted to penitence, pray for us."

gee, i wonder what matt feels guilty about that he feels the need to repent for.

"Saint Yves, friend of young people, pray for us. Saint Yves, companion of adolescents, pray for us."

gee, i wonder who the main focus of the episode is on matt saving. (angela.) gee, i wonder which demographic he caves for every time, and does what maybe he shouldn't, from the child he saved from the abusive father because he couldn't bear to listen anymore, to the boy who was kidnapped by the russians, who matt went after even though he knew it was a trap that they were using to try and kill him. (kids.)

"Saint Yves, helper of all who invoke thee, pray for us."

gee, i wonder who came to matt to ask for help, help that he was struggling to give via the system.

"Saint Yves, bright light among men of law, pray for us."

gee, i wonder why matt is struggling to find guidance on what he should do, when doing what he knows foggy would have wanted has been his guiding light—except it's been getting harder and harder to see that the system works at all.

"Saint Yves, terror of demons, pray for us."

gee. i wonder who might be feeling the urge to put some righteous terror back into the hearts of evil-doers.

and those are just the most immediately relevant lines. so maybe they just googled the patron saint of lawyers and jumped on that bandwagon. but maybe matt's looking for intercession for all those things and more. because of course we know that he prays more and more when he starts to let the devil out.

#daredevil born again #daredevil born again spoilers #daredevil spoilers #daredevil #matt murdock #ddba 1x06 #1x06 excessive force #yeah anyway #i have a lot more to say #i actually have stuff to say about episode four that i haven't written down #but i had to watch 5 and 6 so i didn't get behind so of course if im not putting my religious history to use what am i even doing you know #better share with those who didn't memorize feast days and read saint books for fun as a small child #i also did not fact check myself other than looking up the litany text bc i just KNEW there would be some juicy stuff in there #and hey look i was right! but all info abt st yves and litanies in general came from #my brain. so. take it for what it is and look it up if you wanna be sure ig #r speaks #r tags

98 notes · View notes

teriri-sayes · 4 months ago

Text

Reactions to The Worst's Chapter 402

Brief summary: Cale plants flags. A new wanderer shows up. Eru wants a power-up too.

==========

As usual, our Cale planted flags again. But the reactions of the ancient powers made it twice as funny. 😂😂😂

FoD: It's worth a try. Cale: I have no intention of fighting. Why would I go to all this trouble if not? I'm doing this to make the wanderer and GoC cult fight each other, not to fight that wanderer. FoD: Haha! Cale. Then, what you said will come true in the opposite way. Cale: What? *frowns* FoD: Hahaha! Cale: (What's wrong with him?) FoD: Cale. Gimme money. You are now on your way to becoming a god, past the angels. So you should spend money like a god. Thus, give me money. I want to use my power like a god. My foundation is money. Cale: (What the heck is he talking about? Let's ignore him.) FoD: *sulks*

The way the cheapskate pointed out the flag Cale had planted... 🤣🤣🤣 And mentioning that Cale is on the godhood path. 🤣🤣🤣

A new male wanderer teleported to where the female wanderer was, and we got to finally know their names. They were Ryeon and Cho, twins who had opposite unique powers. Ryeon had an ice unique power and Cho had a fire unique power. And this time, it was Sky-Eating Water who responded to the new male wanderer.

SEW: That Fire guy. Isn't he worth fighting? FoD: It's something worth trying. But won't Cale cough up a lot of blood? Won't he cough blood like crazy for the first time in a while? Not as a skill side effect, but really cough blood like crazy? Cale: I have no intention of fighting those two! I absolutely have no intention of dealing with them at the same time! SEW: Oh. Okay. *says dryly* FoD: Oh. Okay. *says dryly* SR: Cale. Don't worry. Cale: *feels strangely uneasy as if someone struck the back of his head*

SEW and FoD letting Cale's words go in from one ear and out the other was funny. 😂😂😂 The twin wanderers then decided to head to the Primordial Night and bring Cale because he was the only one who saw the "helper" who kidnapped Sohee.

Wanderer twins: We're going to the Primordial Night. We should take the witness who saw the helper. *looks at Cale* Cale: (Yes! Plan success! Now I get to see the wanderers and the GoC cult fight each other firsthand!) FoD: Is it worth a try? Let's strengthen me. Okay? SEW: Would you like to try it? Cale: *ignores the two*

There was also a scene of Eruhaben wanting to become stronger and develop an "aura" too like CH and HD. His reason? He did not want to look as a "not that great" dragon to Raon because he was weak against the wanderers.

Ending Remarks The ancient powers's reactions today was hilarious. Next chapter would be Cale being taken by the twins to the holy land of GoC, the Primordial Night.

Oh yeah, it was Cho, the new wanderer, who said a variation the chapter title - "How dare the God of Chaos stab us in the back?"

#tcf spoilers #trash of the count's family

98 notes · View notes

hermajestyimher · 8 months ago

Text

I Put My Faith in God - Not People

There’s been a lot of criticism about hyper-independence in women, but I personally can’t relate to those critiques. As someone who left home and moved to another country at 18, I’ve always had a strong desire to be my own person and work hard to achieve my goals. Depending on others for my survival has never felt right to me.

For some of us, being a “girl boss” isn’t just a trendy aesthetic—it’s part of who we are. We grew up watching our mothers and grandmothers suffer at the hands of men in their lives. We saw the women in our communities tied down because they couldn’t live without being married or financially dependent on men. Many of us witnessed domestic abuse and other forms of oppression and made the conscious decision to break those cycles.

I’ve learned that the only one I can fully trust in is God. He is not a man who will lie, and His ways are not like ours. He has been beyond faithful to me. If He sends me helpers along the way, I’ll gladly accept their assistance because I know it’s divinely guided, but I will never put my trust in men—never. People are flawed, self-centered, and imperfect. You have to navigate this world with the understanding that someone can present themselves one way and then completely change later on. By putting my faith in God instead of people, I know that whatever provision I receive is good and without strings attached.

Being hyper-independent when it comes to people is crucial to me and I will never allow people with conservative agendas make me feel guilty about it, but I will always remain fully dependent on God.

#things ive learned #level up journey #growth mindset #faith journey

225 notes · View notes

juukai · 8 months ago

Text

DCAtober day 6: Hue

moon/sun x reader, ~3k words, fluff

plz be kind I haven't posted my writing in years

The question was innocent enough and asked extremely casually. Somehow it still threw you off just enough to have you looking up from tying Jamie's shoes for her so that she could leave.

"Huh?"

"Your favorite color, star! Somehow we don't have that information yet. Which is weird, I could have sworn we would have asked as part of your first introduction day..." Sun tapped his chin and gave the impression that he wasn't quite looking at you, though without pupils it was hard to tell. He seemed to be muttering that last part to himself- or to the both of them in there- at any rate.

You shrugged and tightened the last of the bows for Jamie and sent her off to her waiting guardian. An early pick-up today, it hadn't even been nap time yet. You hoped that she was going to get to do something fun at home with her family.

"Well, I suppose if you ask again reeeally nicely this time, I'll let you in on the secret."

Sun huffed in obvious play outrage. "I asked you nicely the first time! My manners are impeccable!" You grinned at the lack of the plural there- it was no secret that Sun thought Moon was slacking on manners. The two of you watched each other for a few moments before his shoulders dropped and he gave you a simulated sigh.

Ha! Point to you.

He must have seen the smugness creeping in, because just as suddenly he had his hand clasped to his chest and another outstretched in your direction as he swept into a bow. Point lost, now he was going into full thespian mode.

It was really hard to not either push at him to get him to stop or to start laughing before he could even speak.

"Please, my dearest and most precious friend!" Oh, he was really leaning into it. He had a little accent going and everything. "We cannot continue like this. Will you not gift us with the knowledge of the hue held closest, the most cherished, in your heart?"

You were doing a terrible job of not laughing at him. Some of the children were giving the two of you strange looks, while a couple others were giggling at the theatrics.

"Oh my god, please stop."

His grin hadn't changed and yet somehow it looked so self-satisfied. If there weren't a bunch of kids around to set a good example for, you'd definitely be pushing him now. It was still very tempting anyways.

He rolled his wrist, reminding you that he was waiting for you to answer him. Between chuckles you finally gave him the response that he was waiting for and dipped lower in his bow before standing up straight with a flourish.

"You're so dramatic." You didn't give him a shove, but you did purposely bump into him once he was completely upright again. He let you and swayed with the motion to give you the effect that you were looking for, and probably also to soften your thunk against his hard frame a little for your benefit.

His rays spun merrily as he looked out over the daycare to get a beat on what the kids were all doing, then returned his attention to you. "Why thank you! We do try our best."

For a while the two of you just stood near one another, the both of you watching different zones to make sure that everyone was following the rules and playing nice. Sun didn't always seem to prefer when there wasn't a guided activity going, but naptime was coming up before too long and you knew Moon harped in their headspace that the kids needed a little wearing out before they were expected to sleep. There was only so much the moondrops could do to help them get to sleep, and the kids always settled for a story better if they were tuckered out.

"Why'd you want to know my favorite color, anyway?" you asked after a while.

"Hmm?" Sun perked up at your question, though he kept looking out across the room. "Oh, one of the little ones wanted to give you a star sticker earlier, for being such a good helper and since we usually call you star! But it seems like they might have forgotten now. I can still give you a sticker, though, if you'd like."

You laughed and waved one hand vaguely. "No, that's okay. Now you know for next time. I guess that got missed somewhere in our introductions." You looked at him and then thought about it for a moment. "... Y'know, I don't know yours either. What's your favorite color, Sunny?"

"Yellow!" He answered so quickly that you had to wonder if that was what he legitimately preferred or if it was a scripted like- sometimes the animatronics, for all that you forgot that they were programmed to be the way that they were sometimes and that they weren't just really weird looking people, couldn't escape a coded response.

"Uh huh. Not sure if I expected that or not." It seemed like too obvious an answer, since he was yellow. But then, it still would have been fitting, you supposed.

The two of you went your separate ways for a while a little later, Sun going to return to taking a hands-on approach to playtime when one of the kids came up and asked to go to the bathroom. It wasn't too long once you came back that it was time to start clearing the softer area of toys and foam shapes to drag out the nap mats and blankets, You helped to get them all set up with the children while Sun made his way to the light switch.

The music shifted to a version of the normal song that was much calmer and quieter, and lacked the goofy sound effects sprinkled in, as the lights dimmed. You stayed off to the side as Moon came back to the area and passed out little wrapped candies to everyone who sat nicely for story time. He gave you a rather impish little look as he made a big show of skipping over you with the distribution of the drops, which earned an echo of amused little giggles. You didn't really want one anyway but you still put one hand on your hip and wagged a chastising finger at him.

You collected all of the wrappers from the candies while Moon took a poll on what story everyone wanted to hear and then started to recite from his internal library. Sometimes he used physical books just so that he would have pictures to share with the kiddos, but today he recited it without one while the kids hunkered down. Most of them were asleep before the story ended and you watched from a good distance away as Moon checked on the remaining few stragglers to make sure that they didn't need anything, then he left their immediate area so as not to disturb them.

You knew that his sensors had picked up that they'd fallen asleep when he approached you. He only put so much distance between him and them when everyone was out and he wouldn't be needed for a while.

"Finished hovering?"

His chuckled softly. "Brat. Are you going to go take your break?"

You shrugged. "In a bit. Thought I'd keep you company first, I'm sure Sun won't mind if my break bleeds over into his time a little."

Moon's faceplate ticked to the side once, twice, and then a full spin in delight. "Oh, he minds. But Mr. Manners needs to learn to share." You laughed, though you were mindful of your volume. You'd gotten plenty of scolding in the past from the naptime attendant, who took his job of making sure sleep happened very seriously. It and security were about the only things he seemed to take seriously.

"You two bickering again? Over lil' ol' me?" You snickered. "You see me almost every day, I don't believe for a minute that either of you actually mind me going on break."

Without having pupils to make it visible, Moon was forced to roll his eyes with his whole head. "Of course we don't, we want you to take your breaks." You could see him pause to give his programming time to work through not needing to tell you to rest. It was a process, he had explained once, bypassing certain triggers to his protocols since adults weren't people that he was in charge of unless it was for security. "That doesn't mean," he continued, "that we like missing time with you."

You were not getting flustered by the robot. "Aw, shucks," you joked as a distraction. "You two are going to make me blush."

He made an amused sound before a comfortable silence settled between the two of you for a couple moments. He watched the children for some of that time, on the look out for any signs that someone was stirring, but luckily most naptimes went very smoothly and stayed dull. You made your way over to one of the craft tables after a while and Moon shadowed you all too quietly for a tall animatronic covered in bells.

You started to clear the table and get things organized again when you came across a sheet of stickers that reminded you of earlier. "Hey, Moon Man?"

"Yes, Starling," he answered in a sickly-sweet tone. You might have deserved that teasing, you know that he doesn't like 'Moon Man', you just used it anyway to annoy him.

"What's your favorite color?"

He hesitated, tilting his head at you before he looked down at the stickers in your hand. You saw the lightbulb in his brain go on. "I am obligated to tell you blue or purple."

You wrinkled your nose at that. "Okay, gross. They really don't let you guys pick your own favorites? Is Sun's actually yellow?"

He stared at you for a moment that felt like it stretched on a little too long. Was he trying to think of something to say? Was he talking to Sun? There couldn't have been something in his programming that kept him from talking bad about the rest of his programming, right?

You only noticed that he'd been slowly leaning in close to you when he stopped. "No."

"No..?"

He didn't move back at all. "No, it's not his favorite."

"Oh." The atmosphere between the two of you was starting to feel slightly heavy but at the same time you didn't move to put any extra space there. "What... are your actual favorite colors? Can you even answer that?" Hopefully they could.

It took some time for Moon to respond but this time you really did get the feeling that he was having some sort of communication with his counterpart. It was a loaded silence.

"Yours."

Huh? "Mine? What, you both like my favorite one?"

He shook his head slightly and the bell on the end of his nightcap jingled softly. "No." He seemed to hesitate and you let him have time to give you an actual answer, just like you'd let him have time to get around the knee-jerk reaction to tell you to nap. "Your color is our favorite."

You started to open your mouth to express your confusion about that, but stopped short when his cool, clawed fingers met your cheek with extremely gentle tenderness. "The color of your skin, your hair, your eyes." His hand cupped your face and tilted it a little further up towards his. "The colors of the clothes you wear aside from your uniform, the ones you pick the most often during crafts time, the one of your phone case."

You were pretty sure that your brain was short circuiting. Was he really saying these things, holding onto you like this? Sure, you and the both of them had gotten pretty close over the time that you'd been working inside the daycare, especially recently, but nothing like this. Was he joking? This wasn't the way that he had ever messed with you before, you had no reason to believe that he would be now, but him being serious made just about as little sense. Your lips parted like you were going to say something, though you had no idea what it could have been. Nothing actually came out.

"The color of your lips," he continued as if your floundering had drawn his attention there and you felt the pointed tip of his thumb just barely brush underneath your bottom lip, which made you squeak. "Your blush."

And now you could feel that you were blushing. Your cheek felt hot against the contrasting temperature of his hand.

"I..." You didn't actually know what to say. You stared up at him, still pole-axed, for a moment before his intensity came down by a few degrees. The way that he held you and looked at you was still achingly gentle, but the pressure of it lessened enough that you could feel some of your higher thought processes rebooting. "You... You both?"

His free hand came up to hold your other cheek and he used that to hold you still as he pressed the teeth of his faceplate against your forehead. "Both of us, I assure you, starlight." He stayed there for a moment before pulling back with a soft chuckle. "Did you not notice?"

You shook your head, dumbfounded and wide-eyed.

"Sun thought he was being so obvious. He's losing his mind that I was right and we just needed to be a little more... forward." He practically purred the word and you felt your face heat even further.

"Was he? Being obvious?" You didn't have any idea that this was coming. Were there signs that you had missed? You thought that he was just being friendly! That they were both just friendly! For as much as you found yourself forgetting that they weren't actually just sentient and independent beings also performing a job every day it had never once occurred to you that they could develop feelings like this. That felt like it was doing them a massive disservice now while Moon held you in place and stared at you.

Another chuckle. "A little, but obviously not enough." He backed a little more out of your space, and took in the look of surprise still on your face. A hesitation came over him then, though he didn't release you. "Is this okay? Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No, no! It's okay!" You reached up and held onto his wrists over the ribbons and bells on each. "I just... can't believe..."

He snickered and you could see the way that his constant smile strained at the edges into something so mischievous and smug but with the hold that you had on him and him on you, you could also feel the way that he seemed to be nearly vibrating with energy. He didn't look it, he always outwardly seemed so much calmer and nonchalant than Sun, but you could feel the slight tremor against your skin and you could hear the muffled way that his internal cooling system was working hard to keep his temperature even.

"Then we have your permission to pursue this?"

The answer was out of your mouth before you even had a chance to think about it. "Yes. Both of you." It didn't strike you as something strange until after you'd said it. You had never really considered how logistics with one of the highly advanced animatronics would go, let alone with two separate AI. But this didn't seem strange to them, or at least to Moon. And Sun had never brought anything up before, though he had obviously spoken with Moon about it if there had been this supposed conversation about the tactic that they should take for their approach. He'd chastised Sun teasingly to you for needing to learn to share, but it seemed like there must have already been some sort of discussion about doing just that.

Moon's expression was downright devilish. "Good. In that case, would you mind staying a little late tonight? I think I might need some help once the daycare's closed..." He laughed at your spluttered response and leaned to press his mouth against your forehead one more time before letting you go with visible reluctance. "Don't worry, I'll put in a note to your manager for an overtime request. Now, naptime's over."

You felt very much like a mouse being cornered by a cat as he looked at you for another few seconds before he took a couple steps backwards. "Have fun with Sun, little star."

Oh. He was making his way to the light switch. "Wait-!"

He cackled at you before he lunged for the light and slapped the button.

You missed the change between the naptime and the daytime appearance as you blinked to adjust your eyes to the light. There was a moment where no one made a sound while Sun completely took over and the standard daycare music started back up. A couple of the children started to rouse but there'd still be a small window of peace until you went and got them up for lunchtime and whatever other activities Sun had on the docket for the day.

That quiet was shattered when Sun's eyes landed on you just before he started marching your way. "Moon got to kiss you first?!"

Oh, so that was what he'd been doing to your forehead? "Oh boy," you breathed as seven feet of excited and agitated robot burst your personal bubble.

#dcatober24 #my writing #dca fandom #dca fanfic #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #fnaf dca #sb sun #sb moon #sb dca #dca x reader #dca x y/n #I haven't let people read anything of mine in ages be gentle with me

167 notes · View notes

boldlyvoid · 1 year ago

Text

Snowed In

18+ Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

Summary: what happens when you're the last two in the office on Christmas Eve and the roads are closed due to an unexpected blizzard?

Warnings: divorced touch starved hotch, Agent reader, blizzards, alone at Quantico, cuddling, flirting, making out, face sitting, munch hotch, teasing, p in v smut, soft dom hotch, spit, biting, fluffy aftercare

word count: 5.3k

The weather forecast for Christmas Eve didn’t look nice… but you can’t really call out of work at the FBI for ugly weather when there are terrible people out there to catch. And, unlike everyone else who thought it would be smart to head home before the storm, she had paperwork to do.

So by the time her last file was closed, the roads were too.

The power was still on, and it would stay on thanks to the generator at Quantico and the best part was that the kitchen was newly stocked with snacks.

She wandered down to the floor 6 break room, which just so happened to be in the BAU bullpen. Everyone had gone home, the desks were empty and the only lights on were in the kitchen area. She took out a mug, flicked on the kettle and started to make herself some toast with one of the many Jams in the fridge. She’s so caught up in her snack that she doesn’t hear a door open, or someone walking down the steps towards her until he's taking a deep breath and scaring the daylights out of her.

“Oh god,” she jumps, hand on her chest as she turns to him. “Agent Hotchner…”

“Agent Y/L/N,” he smiles. “Sorry, I thought you knew I was still here.”

“I figured you went home to your wife—

“Ex-wife,” he sighs, showing his ringless hand. “She has our son this year, I thought I’d catch up on some work and then the snowstorm got… well, you see,” he points to the big glass windows covered in snow.

“It hasn’t snowed like this here in years,” she shakes her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe we're stuck here…”

“Well, it’s not like there’s nothing to do,” he teases. “We have a TV, lots of snacks, the power won’t go out on us so it’ll stay warm in here and Daves got a cot in his office if you need a place to sleep…”

“Oh, thank you,” she’s shocked he’s thinking about her like that. “I didn’t even think about that part.”

“you’re just hungry?” He teases. “What are you making?”

“Tea and toast… you want some?” She asks, hopeful he’ll say yes.

He nods, “I’d love some.”

They work around the kitchen like a team. She makes the toast, he makes their tea and they share exactly how they like theirs done… and there's a hope in her heart that maybe this is just the first time she makes him a breakfast meal. She’s always found him handsome, everyone in the bureau had, honestly. Not only is he good-looking, he’s strong and smart and kind until he can’t be anymore. And when he’s mean, even that’s a little sexy.

He invites her up to his office where she finds he’s been sitting on his couch, his laptop on his desk, watching old episodes of Fraser… “seriously?” She can’t believe it.

He blushes a bit, “it’s a good show. I have every season on DVD and this laptop has a disk drive, so…”

“Honestly, I’ve never really watched it,” she shrugs. “What season are you on?”

“The first one, I can start it from the beginning again?”

“No, it’s okay,” she waves it off. “I think I can catch up, you’ll just have to explain some things to me.”

And so he does, he gives a rundown of the first few episodes. Who Fraser is, his weird brother, his dad and their dad's helper— who his brother eventually falls in love with. It’s a good show. It’s funny, she gets to see Hotch smirk and sometimes, actually, giggle… it’s something she’s not used to.

In the handful of times she’s worked with the BAU on things, Agent Hotchner has never cracked a smile. Episode after episode, he gets happier and friendlier and she takes that as an invitation to move in closer and closer until their shoulders are touching. And then he lifts his arm to rest it on the back of the couch and she’s even closer to him. His tie is off, his first two buttons are undone… he’s comfortable and handsome as ever and it takes everything in her to watch the show and not stare at him.

“Do you want to watch another?” He asks in a hushed tone, just for her to hear— as if they weren’t completely alone here.

She nods, “I can do another.”

“Cool,” he smiles ever so softly and goes to get up so he can switch the disk to access another 4 episodes.

She watches him take out the old disk, put it back in the case and take out the new one. He places it in the tray, closes the disk drive and watches as it loads up to the title screen again. He hits play, and makes his way back to the couch with a sigh, placing his arm on the back again, just as close to her as last time.

“This is really nice,” she compliments. “Thanks for making this night fun for me.”

“I’m actually really glad someone else got snowed in here too,” he teases.

“I really thought I was alone in here,” she sighs. “I’m so happy I’m not…”

“Are you happy it’s me?”

She can’t help but smirk, “Yeah… alone time with Agent Hotchner wasn’t something I ever expected to get.”

“Would you want more?” He asks, staring at her lips. “I mean—

“Yes,” she cuts him off. “If I knew you were single I would’ve asked before…”

“It’s only been 6 months, we haven’t worked together since then,” he reminds her. “I haven’t— I haven’t even tried to spend time with someone else, yet.”

“But you think you’re ready?”

He shrugs, “I— I think you’re pretty and you’re nice and we’re here and we’re having a good time…”

“So are you asking me on a date hotchner, or do you want to bone in your office?”

He laughs, “Bone? Seriously?”

“Canoodle, bang, bump uglies, fuck,” she lets out all the slang and he laughs again, good and hard and it’s beautiful.

She cups his face and he pauses for a moment, “I think I’d like to start with just kissing you.”

“Okay,” she breathes out as she leans in to kiss him.

He’s so gentile. His lips are soft, and he’s tentative and reserved. He keeps his hands to himself and lets her set the pace. She never would’ve guessed that making tea and close proximity would lead to kissing the most handsome man she’d ever known in her entire life. When their tongues meet, he finally reaches out for her. Holding her side, he grips her just enough to make her crave more. She moves in closer, desperate to throw her leg over him and sit in his lap… but it’s him who initiates it.

He tugs her in, helps her settle in his lap and wraps both his hands around her to cradle her body against his. She sighs against him, making him smile into the kiss. She smiles too, coping his face she pulls back to look at him, “I didn’t expect Frasier to be the show that rials you up like this…”

“Well… tossed salads and scrambled eggs are both euphemisms,” he teases.

“How so?”

He lets out a deep breath through his nose like he doesn’t want to explain it. “The phrase ‘toss my salad’ is slag referring to rim jobs— or really any kind of oral pleasure, I guess…”

“Oh,” she wasn’t expecting that in the slightest. “And I guess scrambled eggs is how he likes his eggs done in the morning?”

He nods, “who knows, really? The theme song has never actually been explained but… how do you like your eggs in the morning?”

“Why? It’s not like you can make me some in the morning,” she teases.

“Maybe, when the roads are better we can go get breakfast?” He offers.

“I thought the whole point of the saying was that you’re supposed to make them for me?” She stares him down, hoping to make him laugh… she gets a smirk and a shake of his head as he tries to hold it in.

“I will make you breakfast, at one of our places, the first chance I get,” he assures. “If… if that’s something you’d like?”

She nods, “Yes, Aaron, I would love to get to know you more, and spend time with you and see where this goes… I’m literally in your lap right now dying to see what we get up to.”

“Dying to?” He couldn’t believe those were her words. “Why?”

She runs her fingers through his hair and then traces down the side of his neck and watches her hands as they trail over his shirt to rest on his chest. “When you look in the mirror in the mornings, do you plan on being the sexiest agent in the building or is this all just a happy accident?”

He blushes, “I mean, I don’t really plan it— I just put something on and come to work.”

She just shakes her head and sucks her tongue, “Well I guess now I have to show you just how handsome you are every single day.”

“And how would you do that?” He asks, gripping her hips a little tighter.

She leans in and kisses him softly, “You’re so handsome.” She kisses his cheek, “And pretty…” She kisses his jaw, “And cute…” he starts to smile and blush uncontrollably.

As she goes lower with her kisses, she works on his third shirt button, exposing a bit more of his chest so she can drag her tongue over his collarbone— which makes him toss his head back and whine. “Oh god, you’re so sexy,” she praises. “I want to hear more of your pretty noises.”

“So we’re doing this?” He asks, looking nervous.

She smiles softly and looks him in the eyes. “Only if you want to, baby,” she whispers. “We can do whatever you’re most comfortable doing, I’m sure this is going to be weird venturing into a new experience for the first time in so long, but we can go as far as you want and stop the moment you don’t want to do it anymore, okay?”

He nods, “Thank you.”

“And if you want to stop we can go right back to cuddling and watching the show and we can still go on that breakfast date,” she assures him. “I’m going to want to do that no matter what happens, okay? I like you, not what I can get from you.”

“You’re so nice,” he swoons a bit. “Seriously, why are you so nice to me?”

“you’re a good man, I’ve enjoyed working with you… and looking at you,” she teases. “But in all seriousness, you deserve someone to be gentile with you, you’re only so stone-faced at work to protect yourself, I get that, but you deserve some softness too.”

“I had a feeling you’d be sweet to me,” he whispers, breaking his walls down for her. “I’ve wanted to do this… I’ve wanted to break out of my shell and be with someone new and forget about how much my wife—my ex-wife broke my heart, but I’ve been scared.”

“It’s a scary thing,” she sympathizes. “But if you want me to be the first one you're with, I’ll be so good to you. I’m going to take care of you and make it fun and easy and soft and-and even if you get emotional or it’s too much, I’m not going to hold it against you.”

“I want to do this,” he nods, staring at her lips. “I want it to be you who I start over with.”

“I want to be that for you,” she cups his cheek again and smiles. “Thank you for picking me, Aaron.”

“Um… I don’t have any condoms,” he warns. “There might be some in Dave's room… maybe Derek's desk?”

She laughs, “I have some in my purse upstairs, I can go get them?”

He nods, “Yeah, that would be good and then I can turn this sofa into a bed while you’re gone.”

“Okay,” she goes to get off him but then stops herself, she leans in and steals on last kiss and he smiles into it. “Sorry, I needed another.”

“You can have a million more when you get back,” he keeps smiling, overjoyed with his choice.

—

He has about 6 minutes of freakout time while she goes to get her purse. He turns the couch into a bed, having a sleeper sofa in here was a blessing for nights like these… and when his wife kicked him out. He untucks his shirt and then re-tucks it and pulls it out again, he thinks about unbuttoning it and laying on the couch or maybe waiting for her at the elevator doors— he’s so nervous he has no idea what to do with his hands or his body.

He wanders around the room and talks himself into meeting her at the bullpen doors just as she’s walking up the couple stairs to his office. “Oh, hi.”

“Hi,” she smiles so beautifully. “You know you can still back out?”

He shakes his head, “I don’t want to… I’m just nervous. I haven’t done this in a while.”

“How long?” She asks.

“Since the last time with my ex-wife or with someone new?”

“Either?” She’s simply curious.

“My ex-wife was my first and only… and I haven’t been with her in almost 8 months now.”

“You know you could have anyone in this office in a heartbeat if you wanted to,” she reminds him. “You’re the most handsome agent in the whole FBI— just don’t tell Morgan I said that.”

He laughs, “Thank you.”

“This is cute,” she motions over to his sleeper sofa. “You want to cuddle and make out a bit, again?” She asks while kicking off her shoes and she does the same thing, making it easier for when they shed all their clothes later.

He nods and pulls her in close, “Kissing you has been the best part of my day.”

“Well, let me make it even better,” she teases, leaning in and connecting their lips once more.

It’s just as heated as before, only now his hands are on her lower back and he’s so tempted to grab her ass… so he does, he hauls her up so she can wrap her legs around him and he knees on the end of the bed. He lays her down, still kissing her while he attempts to hover over her— but she wants more.

She grips his hips and pulls him down flush against her, so she can wrap her legs around him once more. And by wrapping herself completely around him, he suddenly feels at home. His nervousness dies off, his apprehension to experience something new and different and unlike himself diminishes to nothing and he’s able to enjoy this.

He wraps his right arm around her, trapped between her and the mattress, while his left-hand cradles her head. He kisses her with passion and care and she gives the same energy right back… if not more so as she moans into his mouth. He pulls back with a smile, “you like kissing me that much?” He teases with his newfound confidence.

“I mean yeah but do you not realize how hard you are against me? It feels amazing,” she explains, her legs wrapped around him still, she pushes him down against her core and has him grind against her once more. “You feel so good, baby.”

He was so in his head he didn’t even realize his other one was so active… he blushed a bit, “You like it?”

She nods, “If grinding with you all night is all I get, I’m going to leave a very happy camper.”

He leans in and kisses her cheek and then her jaw right up to her ear, “Oh, you’re getting more, believe me… so much more.”

She moans again and he takes that as enough incentive to keep kissing her there. He bites her earlobe gently and sucks on her neck just enough to stimulate her and yet not enough to leave a mark. Her hands search his back, feeling him up as he tenses from hovering over her and then releases when he drops his body weight against hers once more, and she sighs when he does that. She loves the feeling of him on top of her. It’s like he was meant to always be there.

He withdraws his hands from under her and grips her hips as he sits up, “can I unbutton your shirt?”

“You may,” she says, a look of excitement plastered over her face.

“I want to just rip it open but I know you don’t have another shirt to wear home tomorrow,” he teases. “and it’s just too pretty to ruin.”

“Hopefully you don’t feel the same way about me…”

“Oh no, that’s precisely why I need to ruin you,” he assures, making haste on her buttons, he leans back in and starts to kiss the newly exposed skin of her chest. Right between her boobs and down her tummy until her shirt is completely unbuttoned and all he has left to pop is the button on her pants.

Her tummy is so soft, that he gets inside her shirt and wraps his arm underneath her back to feel how warm she is and uses it as an excuse to undo her bra in the process. He pulls her forward and gets her out of her shirt and her bra and can’t help but stare down at her chest and then back up to her eyes, “mesmerizing.”

“My turn,” she whispers, “let's flip.”

He listens, laying on his back, she straddles his hips and leans down to kiss his neck while she undoes his shirt. Button by button, she gets him exposed just to press their naked chests together and kiss him right on the mouth once more. She hauls him forward so they’re both sitting up and she pushes the shirt off his shoulders so they can feel each other up.

He grips her hips and tugs her in, grinding her against his bulge once more. She breaks the kiss to kiss his jaw and down his neck, “mm, Aaron,” she pulls his attention from the kiss. “Lay back.”

“Okay,” he listens, leaning back and she reaches for his belt.

“Can I?”

He nods and so she starts to unbuckle him, she pops his button and pulls the zipper down so she can reach into his pants. She feels over his bulge, watching as he tosses his head back and bites his lip to hold back a moan. “Let it out baby,” she whispers. “A touch-starved man like you… come on, let me hear you.”

“It’s not the only thing I’m starved for,” he jokes, blushing again.

Her eyes widen as she pulls back, “oh yeah?”

He nods, he wants to go down on her so bad that his stomach flips with anticipation. “Please?”

She sits more on her knees and reaches for the button on her pants, “how do you want me?”

“Would you— if you want, I mean, you can pick but I’d like to—

“I can sit on your face,” she knows exactly what he was trying to ask.

In the same way, she liked feeling his weight on top of herself, he wanted to feel completely smothered by her pussy and thighs.

She pushes him back so he’s lying flat and climbs off the bed so she can take her pants and underwear off, shoes long gone, she’s in nothing but her socks as she climbs back onto the bed and straddles his chest.

He’s a little impatient, pulling her forward and wrapping his arms around her thighs, he gets her right where he wants her and kisses her right where her thigh meets her cunt. He eases into it, kissing her gently, whispering praise about how beautiful she is and how lucky he feels.

But then he looks up at her, “don’t be afraid to really sit, I can take it.”

“Tap me twice if you can’t,” she agrees and within seconds he’s going at her.

“Fuck,” she gasped as she leans forward to rest her arm against the wall behind the couch, grinding against his face, exactly the way he wanted it.

His tongue deep inside her, his nose nudging at her clit, he savours the way she tastes as if she hasn’t said she would be willing to do this again… and from her noises, he knows this experience just makes her want it again soon. He wants her to enjoy it, he’s always been more into making his partner enjoy it. This time it feels a bit more selfish, as the more she enjoys it the more she’d be willing to come back and the more he can do it. And he wants to eat her out for the rest of his life.

Her sounds are a price, her weight on top of him is magnificent and she’s absolutely delicious. And he hasn’t even gotten to the best part yet. Making her cum on his face is going to change his life.

When he inserts a finger, her legs start to tremble around him. She’s so close, he can tell. Sucking on her clit while he massages that wonderful spot inside of her with his middle finger, she moans so deeply it vibrates her whole being. She starts to chant his name, right on the edge of her orgasm, so he adds a second finger and the damn bursts.

She trembles harder than before, and a beautiful elongated moan leaves her mouth as she cums on his face. He’s quick to withdraw his fingers and replace them with his tongue, gathering it all with the most disgusting sounds he could ever make— but fuck, if she wasn’t the most delicious woman in the whole world.

He was so into her, so transfixed on getting her off that he didn’t realize he was grinding up against nothing and the largest precum stain had marked his boxers and surely was on the inside of his work pants.

“Aaron, Aaron, oh my god, stop, stop, holy fuck,” she makes him stop by pulls off him and sits down on the pillow beside his head. Hand to her chest to catch her breath, she melts against the mattress, “sweet Jesus?”

“I need to do that every chance I get,” he muses, so in love with how it went down. “You’re delicious.”

She laughs, placing her hand on his big bicep as she looks down at his glistening face, “I’m going to take you up on that all the time.”

“Merry fucking Christmas to me,” he teases as he sits up, noticing just how close he was that whole time.

His cock is strained against his boxers, soaking them around the elastic band, darkening the gray fabric so much that he feels a little embarrassed. She notices it too, but she smiles, “Oh, you really liked that, didn’t you?”

He nods, unable to say much.

“Come on, get your pants off, I think I’ve calmed down enough to take care of you now,” she assures.

He doesn’t have to be told twice. He gets off the bed and starts to take off his pants while she looks around for her own, “can you get the condom from my pocket?”

“Yeah,” he goes right for her pants right after his are off.

She just looks around the room, avoiding eye contact with his cock even though he knows she wants to look, “I didn’t even ask if you have cameras in here…”

He laughs, kneeling on the edge of the bed with the condom between his fingers, “No, I don’t. With all the confidential material I see in here and the conversations had in here, they didn’t put a camera in here. But there is one directly outside my office so they know you’re in here but they won’t know what you’re doing.”

“And who is this they you speak of?” She teases.

“Whoever watches the tapes but probably also Penelope… if she learns I was here all Christmas she will go back and look to see what I did,” he shakes his head with a loving smile. “She just cares a lot.”

“She’s the sweetest,” she agrees. “But thank fucking god no one can see what we’re doing… I’m glad this is just for us.”

“Mhm,” he hums, he gets between her legs and tugs her down the bed a bit so she’s lying with her head on the pillow, “they don’t need to see what’s about to happen.”

“although someone should teach more guys how to eat like that…”

He laughs again, leaning down to kiss her, “Then you’d have any guy you want and I'd rather be the only one for you.”

“Very true,” she says against his lips before pressing her lips against his.

They just kiss a couple times before he pulls back and sits on his knees once more, opening the condom and rolling it on. She finally takes a look at what he’s got going on between his legs and he sees her lick her lips while taking in a deep breath. “Fuck sake, you really are going to ruin me…”

He smirks, “Do you want me to? We could just have a sweet and slow—

“No, I need a good fucking, like the fuck my brains out kind,” she assures.

“It’s your lucky day,” he teases, running his hand over her inner thigh as he helps her spread them. “I can do that for you.”

“Do your worst—

“Oh no, it’ll be my best,” he says, gripping his cock and tapping it against her pussy. “You ready?”

“Please?” She begs, pleading with her beautiful eyes.

He slips in ever so slowly, letting her adjust to his girth as he leans over her. He caresses her face with one hand, holding himself up with his lover, watching her take it all in. Head tossed back, she bites her lip and then lets out a blissful sigh. She grips his sides, wanting to desperately pull him down on top of herself once more, but she waits until he’s fully inside.

“Oh my god?” She whines, “please move, I need more, please?”

He smirks, leaning in to kiss the side of her mouth as he starts to rock his hips. He wraps his arm under her as she pulls him in closer and moves her mouth so they can kiss for real. She moans against him as his rhythm changes, his hips speed up and she wraps her legs around him to get him even deeper inside her.

She feels so amazing, he almost forgot what it was like to fuck something other than his own hand. The way she flutters around him and grips him so tight, the feeling of her nails in his back and her tongue on his own. He’s in absolute heaven. So good in fact, he’s afraid he might not last as long as she deserves.

He reaches between them and rubs her clit with his thumb, moving his kisses to her neck and just below her ear, “doing so good, baby.”

“Holy fuck, Aaron,” she moans, tossing her head back and pushing her chest up.

He looks between them and can’t help himself, he kisses her chest and she looks down to see what he’s doing, he looks up to her for permission only to hear, “suck on them, please? Please, oh my god?”

He takes her nipple in his mouth and swirls his tongue around it before gently running his bottom teeth over the nib. She gasps, tightening around him which makes him moan with her nipple in his mouth. He brings up his other hand, using it to pinch her other nipple and she absolutely flutters around him, it’s everything.

When he lets go of her nipples, he reaches his hand under her knee and pushes her right leg up. The angle changes, he’s so much deeper now, hitting her right where she wants him again and again, he kisses the inside of her calf gently as she tosses her head back. She moans, tightening around him to the point he’s so sure he’s about to lose control.

He may be out of practice, but he’s not out of manners. He needs her to finish first.

Using all the power he has left, he keeps her leg up like that but adjusts himself so his pubic bone can rub against her swollen clit with each and every thrust. “More,” she spits out. “Please? ‘M so close.”

His hand slips down her leg, “I know baby,” he coos, keeping her stretched open, he just needs to get his thumb on her clit.

He stills for just a moment, gathers some spit in his mouth and drops it between them so it lands right on her clit to release the friction but then he picks right back up. She whines, sweating and her head tossed back, getting ruined just like she asked to be.

She somehow tightens around him again, and he’s so fucking close he feels like he could go insane. “you’re right there, sweet girl, let go when you’re ready,” he says through bated breath. So fucking close.

And that does it, she starts to tremble again, her core tightens and so does her grip on his arm. “Oh, Aaron!” She moans out a string of incoherent words follow as she lets go and gets lost in her pleasure.

He keeps going, helping her ride through it before his rhythm changes. He’s right there, dropping down onto her and kissing her shoulder as he pile-drives into her for the home stretch. Her hands roam his back, caressing him, “Fill me up, Aaron, you deserve it,” she whispers in his ear. “Cum for me, come on, baby.”

He whines, right there, scared of what noise is going to come out of him when he does cum but he also doesn’t really care at this point. He whimpers and groans, biting her shoulder slightly as he fills the condom and stills against her, “Oh my god? Oh, my god… holy fuck?”

She wraps her arms around him once more, tighter like a hug this time, still panting, she agrees. “I know, Jesus.”

He laughs against her, high on endorphins and feeling completely invincible, “You’re amazing.”

She grips his hair at the nape of his neck and pulls him up off of her shoulder, “You are incredible, that was the best sex I think I’ve ever had.”

He can’t help but smile as he leans in to kiss her. She brushes his hair off his forehead, it’s sweaty and slicks right back. Their kissing is softer this time, lazy and less lust-filled— more loving. Thankful.

He kisses her one last time before going to sit up on his knees and pull his soft cock out of her but she pulls him back in, “No, can we just cuddle like this for a bit?”

“Yeah,” he nods, not expecting her to want this but so glad she does.

He settles back against her shoulder, hand on her boob while she traces shapes over his back, “this is my favourite part,” she whispers.

“Me too… but I’m never usually on top,” he admits. “Or still inside…”

She lightly laughs and he can feel it all over, “What, your wife wasn’t a big fan?”

“Not really, she was quick to go get cleaned up and then she would cuddle into me and go to sleep… but I don’t want to talk about her anymore,” he admits.

“That’s okay,” she coos, soothing her hand down his back. She rests her cheek against the top of his head. “This has been the best night. Who thought getting snowed in at Quantico would end like this?”

“Not me, but I’m so glad it did.”

General Taglist

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @buckleyhans @mrs-ssa-hotch @ssavanessa22

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch x you #hotch smut #hotch x reader #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

1K notes · View notes

iandarling · 2 months ago

Text

Giving Back

Ian has been feeling lost and a little useless lately. His former work as an EMT is haunting him; he’s no longer saving lives in a blue uniform; instead, he’s out driving weed and money in a black cargo suit.

Now, don’t get it twisted; he loves working with Mickey. He gets to spend every day with his husband, kissing and talking, with some light dry-humping in the car on their break, all while making good money. Really good money.

The problem is that Ian is, at his core, a helper. A giver. He wants to do good and make a difference. That’s why being an EMT was such a great fit for him. Ian doesn’t miss the chaos and the lack of sleep that came with the job, but he does miss making an impact on people’s lives.

Of course, this does not go unnoticed by his husband. Mickey knows him better than he knows himself, and he has been secretly planning on finding a way to make Ian get his spark back.

One Saturday morning, when they’re slowly waking up in a tangled mess, he says, “Wake up, sleepyhead, we’ve got plans for today.”

“It’s our day off,” Ian mumbles into the pillow, his hair a curly mess on top of his head. His fringe was getting too long, he really should get a haircut soon.

“I know, but I’ve got plans for our day so get your ass up, and make us some breakfast husband.” Mickey grins at him, and Ian loves his smile so much he obeys him without question.

The coffee is brewed, the pills are swallowed, and the eggs are scrambled. They sit and eat their food in comfortable silence on the couch, naked thighs touching. Ian wants to ask Mickey about his plans, but he also knows his husband loves a good surprise and that it’s better to leave it be.

Ian holds Mickey's hand all the way to the garage and even as Mickey drives. His big hand swallows Mickey's, and he rubs his thumb into Mickey's skin in a comforting manner.

Ian looks around, confused, as they get nearer the south side. Where were they going? When they stop, Mickey points at a brick building at the end of a street he’s never been to. “See that place.”

It doesn’t look totally rundown, but it's not perfect either. Graffiti on one of the walls with cracked drywall near the surprisingly clean windows. “Shabby chic,” one might say. Or at least Susan in 7B would say so.

“It’s a youth centre thing, ‘specially for boys. I used to sneak into there sometimes; had a deal with one of the adults workin’ there. He would give me bars of soap ‘n shit that Terry never got us, if I gave him some weed for free.”

“I could never go there as myself, too open, too exposed. If one word got out that a Milkovich was begging for stuff, Dad would’ve pistol-whipped me...” He bites his lip and looks over at Ian.

“Why are you showing me this?” Ian asks sadly, as he hated hearing about Mickey's bleak childhood. To think back on the dirty and bruised Mickey he fell in love with, made his heart ache. While Ian and Fiona had their arguments, she always made sure they had soap and clean bedsheets.

“You’ve been all down in the dumps lately, man. Figured this could cheer you up. They take donations, right — we make good money now. We could make this a monthly thing if you want. Stock up on all the shit Frank and Terry never gave us, and hand it to those boys. So they can have the shit we never got.”

He’s clearly nervous, biting his lip and trying to act normal, but as soon as Ian lights up like the sun, he leans over the console and kisses him hard.

“I love you.” Ian mumbles into the kiss, and Mickey sighs happily, “Love you too, Gallagher.” Their tongues meet and Ian grabs the back of Mickey's head, pulling him closer, closer. God knows how much he loves this man.

“Dollar Tree is right nearby, we can go there now. Get a bunch a shit.” Mickey pretends to be nonchalant, but Ian can tell he’s secretly excited. Because this means something to him too. It means something to the dirty south side thug that still lives inside him: the little boy who was never shown any true love until Ian.

“Alright...just no weed, though,” Ian jokes, pretending he can’t see Mickey's internal emotional battle. They both know what he’s thinking, but it’s easier to pretend it’s not there. Mickey will talk about it in his own time. It’s the way they do things, and it works.

Ian goes ham at the store. He fills a shopping cart to the brim with multipacks of protein bars, toiletries, boxers and briefs, deodorants, tubes of toothpaste, and other supplies a teenage boy might need.

3 for 2, half off, buy one get one free. Membership points. Ian has spent hours of his life cutting coupons with Debbie, he knows how to work the system. If he buys five shampoos, he can get two for free with the discount. So he bought fifteen.

Mickey walks behind him, pushing the cart. He will occasionally pick up something from the shelves, bandaids and sports tape, things he believes any teenager might need. He stops in front of a shelf and asks Ian. “Should we get like, condoms and shit?”

“Dunno…the workers there might think we’re creeps if we do…but we both know kids that age fuck so...maybe? Buy some, and then we can ask the workers about it later.” Ian shrugs and watches as Mickey dumps a load of them into the cart.

Ian is enjoying his day as he wanders up and down the rows of the shop. “Look, Uno!” Ian smiles and picks up the card game. “Remember how we used to play this inside?” He teases and laughs at Mickey's exaggerated eye roll.

“Yeah, until it got banned for inciting too many fights.” But Mickey is smiling at the memories. Prison was not a place Ian ever wanted to go back to, but sharing a cell with Mickey made it worth it. He places several packs of Uno into the cart.

“Keep going like that, handsome, and we might need a second cart.” Mickey jokes, but Ian isn’t deterred. They could absolutely afford another cart of goods if they wanted to. “Maybe I will,” He winks back.

They pack all the stuff into paper bags and throw them in the back of the van. It’s only a few minutes' drive back to the centre, but Ian was getting nervous.

What if it was too much? What if they didn’t want their donations, and he inadvertently made the kids feel ashamed for accepting them? Growing up south-side and a Gallagher to boot, he knows all about refusing help. It can be humiliating to admit you need help, especially from strangers.

It was easier to swipe from the store than accept the free stuff from the local church. But he remembers how Fiona would line up at those tables and take whatever she could get her hands on, even if it meant swallowing her shame. Because she knew her kids needed to eat and stay clean.

The Gallagher kids have used plenty of stolen and donated stuff in their lives — truck stop toilet paper, handouts from churches, and out-of-date canned foods. Hopefully, the workers at the centre, and also the kids, would understand their motivation. They were once like them, after all.

Mickey parks the van around the back and looks at Ian. “You ready?” He seems nervous, too. They could absolutely hand over the bags to a worker, leave, and not be seen by the kids if they wanted to. They could probably do all of this anonymously and avoid any nerves.

But Ian has missed the feeling he got from directly helping people. He has missed the chance of making others happy. Perhaps it’s selfish, but he wants to be there when the kids receive the stuff he knows he would’ve loved to have as a kid.

“Ready when you are, Milkovich.”

Mickey rings the doorbell, and they wait anxiously before a thirty-something-year-old man opens the door. He smiles at them and asks why they’re there. Mickey explains, “I used to come here as a kid…figured you might want some stuff or whatever.” He’s nervous, but Ian holds his hand and squeezes it softly.

The man nods happily and invites them in. He helps them carry the many bags of items and takes them into an office room, where they meet some other employees. Volunteers, Ian corrects himself. They look happy to see them and smile ecstatically as they rummage through the bags.

“Oh, the boys will love this!” One young girl says as she holds up the pack of protein bars Ian had picked. Peanut butter and chocolate flavoured. “Got a couple of exercise junkies here, this will help keep them full longer.” She jokes.

Ian smiles as he helps them unpack. Mickey stands back a little, just watching them work. This is what he never had as a kid, and it’s bittersweet to watch others get what he so desperately craved. Still, he smiles at Ian, who is back in full swing, laughing and talking to everyone.

A couple of boys trickle in, curious about the commotion. They’re young, not even teenagers yet, but Mickey recognises the signs of a tough home life. The way they walk and carry themselves, keeping their hands ready at all times, the many layers of clothing because they can’t afford a winter jacket. He nods at them. They nod back.

The tallest of the two swipes a pack of deodorants before leaving the room just as quickly as he entered it. The youngest stays behind, edging around the door, as if he’s unsure of what to do.

Ian, as the gentle giant he is, smiles and introduces himself. He talked nonchalantly about toothpaste and Uno, making the boy a little less nervous. He smiles at Ian, who hands him a bag of Hershey’s Kisses. The boy grins and leaves.

“Every time we went into the system, my sister got us kisses, said it makes everything better.” He explains to the woman. Ian is feeling a hundred times better as he helps the workers organise their giant donation. This is absolutely going to be a monthly thing that they do. He's already mentally planning what he wants to bring next time.

Mickey keeps his distance, just admiring his husband's happy face. His freckles and ginger hair were extra vibrant against his pale winter skin. He looks beautiful and Mickey loves him so much.

Once they get home, Ian orders takeout, and Mickey works his magic on their stolen DVD player. Jaws is on the menu tonight. Ian plates up the Chinese food on their little coffee table near the couch.

“Thanks,” Ian whispers into a soft kiss. “For today, and for always paying attention. For knowing me so well.”

“Mmm, gotta. You’re my husband.” Mickey grins stupidly like he always does when they say that word.

Ian raises an eyebrow at him, levelling a look. “Don’t hide, I know you enjoyed it too, even if you spent most of the time in the corner watching.”

“Yeah, well, someone gotta take care of those kids ya know? They didn’t even have pocket knives. We should get them some Swiss army knives and maybe a couple a nunchucks next time and…” Ian kisses him quiet.

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/64251175

#mickey milkovich #gallavich #ian gallagher #shameless #your honour they are husbands #gallavich headcanon #my post #ian x mickey #gallavich fanfic #gallavich ficlet #my writing #gallavich fic rec #shameless fic

95 notes · View notes