#Growth pattern

[drpedi07]

Weight Calculator

Get analytical data of your kids by using Date Calculator

[copypastus]

So that hofas bonus Ember chapter huh.

I wish Tamlin and Nesta built a casual friendship.

It's such a missed opportunity! They were both assigned penance eternal by the IC over their relationships with Feyre with no road to redemption. In acosf they were both on a shame spiral. You'd think this would be a like calls to like moment! Opportunity to recognise that just coz Rhys's friends hate you doesn't make you a bad person!

[thechy-fychannel]

y'all ever think abt how it was julie having the affair and it is even said multiple times that she was the one who left him, yet wilson was still the one who left their home and moved in with house. like. he couldn't bear to stay in their home alone. he immediately ran to house and stayed on his couch for weeks. suffered through his pranks and his laziness and his manipulation. telling him he wants him gone while sabotaging his attempts to leave. and he only left once he got a girlfriend again.

[edensgaia]

Honestly if Derap feels betrayed by Zam playing both sides he lowkey had it coming, because playing both sides was exactly what he was doing when he teamed with 4c and hid the exploits from zam for so long, or when he worked with Mapicc to kill Pangi behind Pangi's back.

And the thing is, he most definitely is going to feel betrayed. Because for the whole season, it has been a pattern where Derap points out how things other people are doing makes them untrustworthy and how they are being dumb for not realizing that what they are doing is hurting they're closest teammate, and then he would turn around and do the exact same thing to his own allies and teammates. For the whole season, he's been trying so hard to make people stay with him while using the worst methods possible. He can easily pinpoint when other people are being hypocrites but even when he does acknowledge that the things he did where wrong and hurt people, he doesn't entertain the train of thought for long enough to actually change his actions.

In a way, it is kinda poetic that the way he might end up losing another one of his closest teammates again is by them not even trying to outright betray him, Zam just wanted to do what she thinks is best for server, and at the end of the day she still trusts Derap and cares about him, but she's still gonna go through with it, the same way Derap went through with so many stuff despite knowing it would hurt his teammates.

And like, realistically, regardless of how it went, there's a very high chance Derap might not stop to consider his actions, there's a high chance he's just gonna double down on the "no one trusts me and all my teammates leave me but also I'm gonna continue to do things they don't like behind their back. No idea why they don't trust me though" route. But I think that out of all the ways sunkissed could stop being teammates this season, out of all the ways they could've possibly betrayed each other, the one way where it isn't even intended to be a betrayal is probably the best way to make the problems they had while being teammates so clear. It's not a solution or complete conclusion to an arc, but it's the best way they could rip the band-aid off, make everything that has been boiling up come to a point where it's basically impossible to ignore, and even if things are not solved, maybe it will open a door to change in the future

[kristo-flowers]

sprouting leafs are sculptures

[unconditionallove3]

Allow yourself to be loved so deeply that it triggers everything inside of you that no longer needs to be carried.

[limeskye]

im so proud of him for setting boundaries

[plasmara]

First off your fics are amazing I love it I love them all. And second of all you mentioned Jay’s lightning in your most recent one and I can’t stop thinking about the one line where you talked about how it’s both blue and yellow now. And then I went into a whole deep dive about how it’s changed after he lost his memories and I was wondering if you have any more thoughts on it its so interesting to me

OKAY SO I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS ASK because I’ve been thinking about it forever but never had the energy to put it into words SO THANK U ANON!!!!! i think there's a lot of reasons for the change in colour and i’m sorry in advance coz this got long but i’m gonna use this ask to dump all the ideas and ops i have on this topic

OKAY. soooooo. So we know lightning is a dangerous element. it's alive and unpredictable and relatively unstable. unlike most other elements, like earth water etc etc, which can be shaped, held, and calmed, lightning demands surrender or dominance—there's no middle ground. its always moving it's always ON. and i think it took jay A LOT to get in under control. and that's where the blue comes in. we know what blue symbolises duh— control,, clarify, calmness in general (think the sky etc) and so when he's in full control, it's plain blue. Blue ALSO can symbolise loyalty which has always been a big part of jay,,, he's loyal to a fault to his family and his friends, and consistently chooses them over any greater good. so his element responded to that knowing and stability by staying steady, precise, and pure blue

and to get such an unpredictable element like lightning under control, it takes discipline and emotional stability and if there's one thing he's not right now it's stable lol. so his power is all over the place

YELLOW, on the other hand, is a color that wears two faces. yes, usually, it's the color of joy, brightness, and optimism. but there's a more volatile side to yellow that often gets overlooked. yellow is also a color of warning—think crosswalks, hazard signs, yellow traffic lights. it's not danger itself, but the presence of instability.

and So. so. the yellow that has infiltrated jay's familiar blue doesn't symbolise the first for yellow. it's loud, jagged, overexposed and urgent. And it's not here to light the way like the sun. it's here to warn

i think jay is so out of control and not at all in touch with his emotions that his element is actually trying to warn him. i think it's symbolising how much he's shifted and it's now a warning to himself (and others) of how unpredictable and chaotic his element is now

AND. AND AND AND. Yellow is THE most visible colour from a distance. that's why it's used for hazards and warnings. it's used for things that NEED to be seen. Jay wants needs to be seen. he's spent years in the administration all by himself and not being seen by ANYONE. he's been overlooked and ignored and he's been hiding his element at all costs. And now in particular he wants attention (esp after his humiliation at TOS) he wants people to KNOW him,, and not as jay necessarily but as someone powerful. which is why he chose to keep every part of his identity hidden (the mask, the hat, etc) EXCEPT his lightning. it's incorporated into his weapons. AND EVEN HIS VOICE. Which he does still disguise yes. but it's done so THROUGH his lightning (that's what I think anyway lol) . That's the only part he allows for people to see. and so it's the only part of him still yelling for people to see him

So yes it's a warning but it's also a cry for attention

Now. blue is stable and consistent and yellow is bright and overpowering and it's especially clear AFTER he joins ras and his gang compared to before when he accidentally sparked his lightning up and it was weak,,,

because the foundation behind learning to control his element isn't right (just like how arin learnt spinjiztu thru ras' teachings and now it has the shatterspin particles through it)

And we know that the way ras works in not through harmonising with the universe but with forcefully getting the universe to harmonise with u . and through anger and negative emotions in general. it's chaotic and Jay has no control over it and so his element shows that through colour

and maybe im crazy or reading into it or whatever but.

BUT. In the scene where he uses lightning for the first time in front of nya. the way he twists and turns as he generates,, it looks like it actually hurts him to use it. i think because of the methods he used to learn how to control his element (anger, violence, force) it's actually more painful to use. it’s showing him that his power comes at a cost when it’s learnt with the wrong motivation. he even stays hunched over for a few seconds right before he aims

AND IF U LOOK CAREFULLY (which I have because apparently I have nothing better to do) u can actually see his hand shaking right before he strikes

And yes this could be just from the pure fucking power of his element but if u take his body language into account I really do this it's just painful for him to use now

SO IN CONCLUSH i think the infiltration of yellow in jay's lightning is mainly a warning to jay himself that the foundation for controlling his lightning is wrong and the pain he feels when using it is a reflection of that too

[glowettee]

hi just wondering what made you want to get ur life together? im still in the loop of consuming self help content and planning everything but i haven’t really started accomplishing anything to make myself improve and its making me feel bad, but i just cant seem to find the push to make me start. any advice?

✧ what made me want to get my life together ✧

hey lovely! ✨

first of all, thank you so much for this question - it's something i think about a lot, and honestly? i completely understand where you're at right now. that cycle of consuming content but not taking action is something i was stuck in for the longest time.

for me, the turning point wasn't one big dramatic moment. it was actually a random tuesday when i realized i'd spent three hours scrolling through "how to be productive" videos without doing anything productive at all. the irony hit me so hard i had to laugh at myself!

what really pushed me to change was this tiny realization: all the planning and researching in the world couldn't replace even 5 minutes of actual doing. i was using self-improvement content as a form of procrastination, and it was giving me the illusion of progress without any real change.

here's what helped me break the cycle:

start ridiculously small i mean truly tiny steps. not "organize my entire room" but "put away three items." the smaller the action, the harder it is to talk yourself out of it. these micro-wins create momentum.

recognize that motivation follows action this was life-changing for me! i always thought i needed to feel motivated to act, but it's actually the opposite. taking even the tiniest action creates the motivation for the next step.

create a "done list" instead of a to-do list at the end of each day, write down what you actually accomplished, no matter how small. this shifts your focus from what you haven't done to what you have done.

find an accountability buddy having someone to check in with made such a difference for me. we send each other a simple text when we complete our daily mini-goals.

notice your resistance without judgment when you don't want to do something, get curious about that feeling instead of beating yourself up. ask "what am i afraid might happen if i try this?"

the most important thing i've learned is that transformation isn't about massive overnight change. it's about those tiny daily choices that seem insignificant in the moment but compound over time.

and please remember - the fact that you're asking this question shows you care deeply about your growth. that awareness is already the first step, and it's a really important one.

what's one tiny action you could take in the next 5 minutes? start there, and i promise the next step will feel a little easier.

sending you so much love and support on your journey! 🤍

xoxo, mindy

[unlikelyapricot]

siffrin in stars and times hair confuses me. its fun and i like it. but it confuses me.

is the lightless??? outgrown hairdye??? that is the impression i have gotten from the fandom???

but if that is the case. Why is the front all darkless??? the back is the bit that would grow out quickest isnt it????

anyway. pre canon sif hair thoughts be upon ye.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I think cancel culture has rotted my brain and I'm way too Law & Order pilled

[histhoughtslately]

[kristo-flowers]

Buds

[zombocomme]

Ministry📺TV presents:

From the

Between the Lines (BTL AU)

Premier Season

*A bonus episode from The Vault...

With a Special Guest Appearance @ask-miasma-ghoul

"I wish I knew..."

⚠️MDNI🔞 tw: toxic relationships, blood/gore, gay vampires and vampire sex, murder and implied cannibalism.

Enjoy

🌉🧇🍷🔪🔱🦇✨️🫲🙂‍↕️🫱✨️🦇⚜️🚬🍷🥩🌉

Jim sighed again, "Ide like a-"

"Hey can I get some coffee over here, god!" Another patron once again interupted... Jim was livid. Copia was pouting in the car because he and Jim had another spat, and stubbornly he refused to talk to him at the moment, the drive thru was out of the question, and wouldn't go in with Jim to order. Jim had to walk into the food place, grumbling and whipping out his wallet, tumbling his fingers in the bill fold for the Ministry Black Card and then,

"Sorry sir what is your order"

"I would like a combo-"

"Hang on sir." the staff person interupted, popping their bubble gum as they hollered around a line of cooks telling them to mind the drive through because there was a line around the building. She wore an earpiece and her name tag suggested she might be in charge of the place tonight, but when she turned her attention to the register she didn't do the professional glance up, already having a gleefully terse tone of voice as she repeated for the second time, "Sir, what is your order?"

Jim felt his face heat, "Can I please ha-"

"Oh my gaaahd ahaha!"

Another set of drunk patrons walked in squealing, the obvious party wear and stink of sweat on top of the scent of overly spiked cocktails, laughing loudly as they pretended to care to adjust their very high skirts. Their Jabbering Volume increased as they piled in, a couple of the women were holding their shoes, as passed,stumbling almost to fall.

"Your Order Sir!?" The Staff person called over the racket. Jim's momentary break in eye contact to the absolute scene beginning to set in, "A number-"

"Brittany who the fuck do you think you are!"

A brunette said shoving the blonde in the champagne club attire, a pettite mascara run woman who promptly pulled her earrings out as the other women seemed about to begin a catfight, already a cellphone in hand as they played a game of keep away from those who didn't want to be in a fight video on the internet.

"He ain't your man if you dont give it to him good, we'll I give it gooood!" Brittany burped as she had her thin fingers curled tight against her companions neck hairs, scruffed like a pissed of cat. Another girl was already charging into the fray.

"Can you fucking do something about this?!" Jim exasperated, glowering.

The person behind the counter rolled their eyes, "I'm paid to take your order sir, not break up brawls on the dance-floor, now may I please take your order sir?!" She said, her tone prissy.

Jim let out a half hearted huff of disbelief "Seariously?. Jesus H. Christ, this is why God's other middle name is 'Dammit'"Jim groaned, wiping at his face.

*If it weren't for Copia insisting on comming here for food he wouldn't be here*

"Sean get out, she doesn't wanna see your sorry ass!" Another nasally voice from another blonde snarled as a squirely looking napoleon-complex of a small man, muscles ripped to disproportion, arolled up. He had parked the car half on the sidewalk.

"HAY, you can't just walk away from me!" Sean, The Jackass hocked, the lugi splattering on the grimy tile floor with his instigating words. He squared up towards the group of women, a few cowering back like felines, still hissing and yowling, while he barked up a storm of entitled insults and vulgar comments. From the back of the kitchen a deep voice shouted,

"That's it, fuck this place I'm out, I fucking quit!"

"Get your ass back in here!" A second voice called as a disgruntled worker whooshed out from the kitchen and tossed their headset into the boiling hot deep fryer, flipping off the whole establishment on the way out... not that anyone but Jim saw...or cared to look and see anyway.

The smell of burnt plastic and old oil from the bubbling liquid made the staff person skirt away and call out to the quitting worker about something, and shouted back for somone to come clean the mess somone else made.

"I'll go somewhere else-" Jim said huffing incredulously as a shoe skid across the floor from the altercation happening nearby, the sparkled heel colliding against his shoe with a choppy tap-tap-tap when it skipped and skittered to a stop. The Jackass who had driven the car onto the sidewalk was joining the now proper brawl in the etablishment. Jim looked on.

Shouldn't he do something...? or least call somone? He thought about it moment, and then his brow raised when a crew of eight men dressed in heavy biker gear, shuffled in, blocking the door with their frames and ignoring the people behind the counter and seating themselves anyway. A burly Grey bearded member who had unfortunately been jostled by the chaos unfolding, then shoved the Clubbers and their mutual Jackass man apart, sending people flying. Jim was ducked as a chair went flying as well, only to be countered by another staff member comming out to get their skin in the vame because apparently they knew the Jackass too, and honestly, it was a bit entertaining to watch, like an old WWF match.

*If Copia had come in with him he would get to see this nonsense and perhaps not be so uptight*

Then a severely ill and addicted-to-something person started walking in, punching at random things. That was when the staff person finnally hopped over the counter and got into action.

"I told you you're not allowed back in here dude!"

"Fuck you, this is a public place!"

"Brittany is crying and Hermosa is bleeding get some fucking napkins!"

"Well if he's quitting I'm quitting too"

" Come on man, cant you wait till after the rush!"

"Chrissy, call the cops!"

"Eddie fucked the oil l up, sht it down and get the mop!"

"No get the sand!"

"You Big Ass Mother fucker think just cause you have your little buddies on bikes ima be scared, I'm with Los Chavos, thas right. RESPEC-"

"IM GOING TO THROW YOU ONTO THE GRILL"

"Mary come back!"

"No, fuck you, you knew Randy was supposed to be taking Todd to soccer and he was fucking with-"

"Dude! Get off the fucking property-"

"I quit!"

"Who's manager on duty then because we need the keys to the-"

Copia walked in. Jim's eyes locked on him, wide with disbelief.

*Is this for real do you see this right now?*

Another person in an apron ran to the register, and one of the club goers was already throwing punches towards them when a large kitchen pan came flying from back. The utter chaos was both legendary and expected, and yet, still deserving to be seen.

Copia rolled his eyes and as if invisible he walked right through the fists and blows and chairs and hands being thrown, without a scratch, and upon approaching the counter, wore an expression thatappeared merely upset about this inconvenience. He strode up to the register, "THREE ALL STAR SPECIALS, DONT CARE, TWO ORANGE JUICES AND ONE RAISIN TOAST!"

Copia shouted to the staff in the back, as those up front seemed occupied with putting eachother in headlocks and breaking noses.

Copia spoke with an authoritativevoice that seemed to compell the staff back into their paid programming and they set to work, glad that somone in the joint was giving them some sort of direction, as their manager on duty was trying to fight off a tresspasser and call the cops.

Jimmy shrugged defeatedly.

Copia waited beside him impatiently.

"Ah, what the hell," Jim muttered, and hopped onto the counter, sitting on it to wait. Giving up on the situation. It just felt like he was a victim of circumstance the unfolding chaos interrupting what would have been a simple exchange, was now another reason that tonight felt like a painful reminder of why he had turned to stuff, bad stuff, to try and either numb his pain or comfort his hurts. Everything was out of control. It was overwhelming. The urge to shut down or be reckless burned in Jim's veins, and he was holding on, by a single cigarette. He barely noticed the order Copia had brought to at least one side of the situation.

Copia as if reading his thought, huffed, "Now, was that so hard." He chirped.

"Wow. Ok." Jim said throwing his hands up in surrender, . Copia was right and yet, he was just as guilty for the chaos in the night." But it just felt like one more thing on his plate. One more straw to break. One more thing to nit pick..

One more thing that somehow got fucked out of his control and now Copia would follow behind on a white horse only to be upset over the experience, and he would likely act out. The man sought out strays... animals, people, lovers. Somehow by being their hero, being important and being able to save them, he had learned to buy their loyalty with displaced sincerity and sacrifice. But he never stopped there. It was like he was collecting oddities, hoarding them in a dark closet to comfort him from his own deamons. Jim was no better... Honestly. They both were fucked up. And they were both falling apart...

It's why they could never stay away from one another. Copia and Jim were eachothers greates pain, and also, their greatest intimacy. And now they were at such odds again. And it made Jim feel defeated. And all the more it highlighted the true anguish of their situation.

He lit another cigarette and ashed near the oil spill. On purpose. Because maybe it would be fate the waffleshouse burns down, like a manifestation of the volatile passion between Jim and Copia.

*It Would make a great story.*

But suddenly the food was there and Copia was shoving Jim off to take it from a ruddy faced young woman with bags under her eyes, her exotic dancing glitter makeup still on. Wiping back her black hair. Copia smiled, letting his gloved fingers brush over hers. Amidst the chaos he had locked in to what he really wanted to devour that night...

***

An hour later, Jim was seated on the side of the road, finishing that cigarette as the car rocked back and forth, thumping, knocks, and pretty moans muffled from its back seat. Jim tried to ignore the hot flare of jealousy that raged in his chest. He and Copia weren't together anymore. He knew that. Everyone knew that. But he always felt like he was never sure. And despite the emotional cling, Copia was so physically quick to move on when it came to paramours. He had the decency to still stay somewhat faithful, but even so, Jim felt his lip quiver sliggtly and his brows knit tighter down.

*He should be in that car. Satisfying Copia. It should be him. Especially now. With Milagro expecting, she couldn't do what Copia wanted most, and so Jim had stepped in, and it had felt like walking on glass ever since. That tension seemed to plague the relationship, and while Jim and Copia were together like this, they were glad, she wasn't with them. They were flad that their bullshit wouldn't add to her stress. She was stressed enough. Everyone had another helping of hurt and fear on their plates since they learned about the pregnancy, and the thought of all that waiting 'at home' made Jim both yearn and ache.

Jim sighed tiredly, trying to comfort the resigned spirit of his broken heart with a softer memory with his woman back home. Remembering her softness. The kind eyes that knew him, those hands, gentle and feirce all at once. A passionate love that steadied his shaky legs... She had gotten him through so much. She had been there for him in a time of his life where he needed that support msost. So now he felt guilty that he was here, instead of there. And it pained him to be only meters away from the lusting hunger happening in the back seat of their rental.

"Figures." Jim sighed, flicking the cigarette butt, ashing on the rocky road.

Any moment there could be lights, running. Screaming. He almost hoped there would be, because it would mean this public display would stop...

Once the noises had stopped, he flicked the smoking butt to the road. It's not like anyone was going to see him litter. The bend here was secluded, and the road less traveled. It wouldn't be hard to take off or hide where it was tight and dark, like a shelter from the world under the outskirts of the path into the woods. They were behind a slightly off-road dirt patch that was often overlooked because it was on the back end of the bend so well hidden in plain sight.

Jim felt his stomach churn and his mouth sour.

"Hurrrp!-"

Jim burped as he proceeded to splatter the dry dirt with the contents of his empty stomach.

He was sick. He hadn't fed in some time.

And he knew Copia was taking too long with the chick from the food-place in the backseat. And Jim was going to confront him about it.

Pissed Jim growled and jumped up, marching to the side of the vehicle where he ripped open the back seat door with a grunt. He saw the dim sight inside and the slurpping sounds. Disgusted, Jim scuffed Copia by the back of his shirt and hissed, "Your a Fucking Blood Fiend!"

"Your one to talk Jimmy." Copia scoweled, his chin shining, wet in the dark twilight.

"Fuck off!" Jim growled as he threw Copia off a few paces so he could enter the back seat.

After a few seconds Jim's fist punched something with a loud bang that made Copia wince. He wiped at his face realizing the full implications of what he had done. He knew he fucked up...

"Oh Goddamit Copia!"

Jim said, emerging from the dim space, wiping his lips...he had tasted the venom at the woman's neck, the physical fluid evidence of Copia's faithlessness, because Jimmy couldn't give him enough blood to drink. And so, by blood, Copia had been quite literally cqught red handed. As if adding insult to injury, the woman was half naked and dishevled, as was Copia.

*So. Copia had his fun in the back seat, which wasirritating but ultimately forgivable, everyone had needs... But this? Her bloodless lips were parted in ecstasy, as if laughing in Jim's face*

*Fucked. Sucked. Cucked.*

"You, fucking, asshole!"

Jim shouted, throwing punches. Copias eyes went wide when he realized, Jim was ready to fuck Copia Up. Mano a Mano style...

*Fisty-cuffs, Fantastic Hands and Where to Catch Them, rated E for Everyone. It was going down*

Copia grit his teeth and charged.

It was like they were 19 again, brawling on the dance-floor while everyone watched on. Dodging, swinging, kicking, wrestling down, and yanked back up again into one another, the scent of testosterone and aggression thick, and it mixed with the scent of blood as they scuffled and scraped eahcother up, trying to muscle each other into submission.

They chased one another around, and lashed out, hurking ounches and insults, over and over, behinning to tire as they avoided one anothers blows and blocked the others. This wasn't the first time they had experienced a fist fight, and it wouldn't be their last.

"You just can't fucking help yourself huh?" Jim lunged, now invigorated at landing the first blow.

"Jim youre acting crazy!" Copia retorted, using jims momentum , kicking Jim in the pants to tumble forward and land hard on the solid ground.

Copia stumbled and flicked his arm out, giving enough moment to avoid the next punch as Jim went down.

"I can forgive a high altitude FUCK with the air hostess, I didn't do shit about you and your little groupies. But THIS?!" Jim roared. Within minutes they were rolling in the dirt, kicking up a cloud of dust so fine it clung to every beading drop of sweat.

"You drank it all! You couldnt wait for me! Couldnt just let me have some of it, let me get well?" Jim's fists kept pummeling and Copia was trying to fend offJim on his knees, throwing damnations and curses his way. Copia was in the wrong.

*There was a network of 'Donors' all over the world. In every city and small town and even a couple villages, there were blood doners, who within a quick connection and a phone call, could arrive at the residence or location of a Vampire In Need- you know, like on call blood donors that chased the high of a Vampires venomous kickback of vitality and power. The venom known as 'Soma'.*

"I need blood too, you asshole!" Jim said, struggling under Copias grip in one position, and then perspectively Copia was in another, like two puzzle pieces wriggling to connect. Instinctual and impossible at all times.

Copia was tied to his familiars. A deep blood bond of ancient rites and black magic, sorcery and science, god and the devil, it was the beautiful and terrible Dark Gift. Copia had made his blood ties to Millie and Jimmy. Millie couldn't give that blood to him now that she was with child, or rather with his children, HIS. Twins at that, they had learned.

"You're acting like a fucking child! You knew I needed blood, and I knew you wouldn't leave me if I made you come here!" Copia said, pulling and pushing, kicking, tossing sand and shoving a knee into Jim's groin.

As Jim fell to his back, taking every wrong done to him to heart, Jim frly like whatever good sense god gave him had been knocked oit with the wind. Breathless, he realized why he was so angry. He was feeling used. Emotionally, sexually, and the whole tour so far had been so angsty and moody, and he felt like he couldn't give a damn to keep up with it anymore.

Jim wrestled at Copia’s clothes trying to get the upper hand, tearing his shirts. Like he was tearing up the stupid paper stories about a dream he could never have with his boy hood love for his best friend. They had been boys together. And now, as men, they were so damned hopelessly ever tied to one another like a blessing and a curse

"You couldn't wait for me to eat, just had to sneak like a fox in a hen house, and rip my fucking heart out!" Jim sobbed as he tiredly paused, as did a groaning Copia, catching their breaths. Copia began to sob, his tears soaking Jim's tattered shirt.

*Jim was encountering the soul gripping emotions of his hurt and love, his pain and rage, his faith, his very faith to make their lives happy. And it just couldn't be. They were too much the same, and too much similar to get along for too long. They were volatile to one another. And yet they couldn't stay away...*

Copia dug his fingers into Jim's back. Tilling the flesh like it was a lifelinethat was slipping away. He was trembling, he felt dizzy and concussed. Jim was still a vampire.

*It was both a daydream and a drug to feed from another vampire; more often than not thiugh, many Vampires choose to sup from humans because they require less vitality in exchange for their own...*

Jims sobbjng turned dry, "I don't have to share EVERYTHING with you, Millie doesnt BELONG to you!" Jim croaked as he tried to double down on his efforts to shove Copia off of him, to no avail, a black eye swelling shut, his head swimming. He knew he had a concussion too. His hand drifted to Copia's waist, too tired to keep it up and guarded, tired of struggling against a figgt he didn't want to have anymore. And they sort of laid there that way for a moment, exhausted and limp, almost drowsy as the adrenaline crash surged through them.

*Jim had played good ol fashioned American Football, and he had the developed grace and posture from when he ballroom danced. He had strength, resilience, stamina, and grace, ah yes Jimmy Defroque, the southern socialite. An example of a repeat Prodigal son, an example of how the unrealistic expectations of his father made him grow up with hurt that he never could quite toughen up or get used to because it was inside him, that it festered. So he spent his youth chasing highs and turning to self-destructive habits on the lows. That's where Jim's deamons came from. The lower hells. Desolate, cold, lonely. No wonder he chased after any little bit of sunshine he found and why he felt like Copia hung the stars for him. He was Jim's 'creator' ater-all...*

Such were the trials and tribulations of their un unholy covanent, for a Blood Master to create Familiars, the way Copia did for Jim... that "Ritual for Babylon", it was called.

His vow of faithfulness to his familiars was this: He would supp from them, and they would feel his intensity, and his love for them in a way more intimate... an essence of soul..*

*And they would also feel his Venom, differently now. The Soma, was now tainted by the blood of his familiars, and now Copia would forever crave them... instinctually feel connected to them, a bond strengthened when he fed from them, leached sustenance from the.. only then he would give, assuring their love and loyalty. And so he passed his vitality to them. Or drained it from them, depending on the path they chose for their lives... It was how vampires lived so long.

If the familiar chose the Life Eternal, tthey could theoretically be forever tied to their blood master, freely giving and taking to the end of time. But the Dark Gift gives for what it takes, and familiars have a choice on the matter. One not to take lightly... not many mortals, or even vampires, have the stamina for being a familiar, let alone for eternity, and to choose it was to bind them in covenant with Lord Lucifer himself.

And this choice hinged on the very circumstances in which their lives by Copia's actions, that had become so beautiful and so damning...

The body of the staff member still lay in the car, and dear god what a monster Copia had become.... The woman, sparkles rubbed off, drained of blood and indifferent, her bare legs visible against the darkness around them, made Jim feel sick all over again...for too many reasons...

There was a solution, though in practice. Not a simple one...

Jim could bring her back... he had that power...he had that connection to "The Other Side" and for the freshly dead, the soul clinging closely before moving on fully, was somone he coild bring back...if they wanted to come back that is... if they wanted to come back...

Copia's carelessness in killing her could be fixed by "His Jim", but the preacher mand didn't want to have to. He hated doing it.. Bringing people back could spell disaster. Look at Terzo- brought back wrong and had to be sent back to the pits, reinterred until a better way could be found... that wouldn't rely on trying to sew his decapitated head back onto his corpse...

Jim felt sick again and swallowed back the bile as he adjusted to not be so uncomfortable under Copias firm grip and the weight of his body against him. Copia flushed, like he was sadistically turned on by all of this. Hurting everyone around him made him not feel so alone in his own. It gave him the sense of control he felt was keeping him from falling apart entirely.

Jim on the other hand, was very angry, that Copia was so easy to feel entitled, be careless, rely on Jim to clean up his messes. He brought Jim to this meet up because he knew he would lose control, and Jim would come running for him. Would engage, would fight, and fuck. But this time it wasn't over another human, it was over a particular kind... Copia fed from another Vampire's familiar... He had done this sordid deed, killed the woman in his acts, and Jim was going to ressurect her. To Copia it made sense. Because he was lashing out. After their spat, this is what happened tonight. God's he was sick and broken. Much like Jim, who had wanted to go with Copia to meet the Doner at the food-place. To try and be discreet, and get comfortable, before they 'harvested the crops another had plowed...

*Feeding from another Vampire's familiar is usually an act qualifying for reteibution- unless it was offered, freely given, and or necessary by emergent circumstance. In this case it was not so... all three were sneaking around to try this, because the Copia and Jim were supposed to share her; they both needed to feed, and so the plan had been to take from the same donor, sharing like it was some fucked up Idea of spicing up their relationship. They had been feeding off of one another throughout the tour thus far, and one can only do that so much before the blood stagnated and turns bad... Just like their relationship at present. A never ending carousel of need and being ever at odds. The times they were so good together, and to each other, almost made the suffering worth it. Almost. But not quite. And the hope that they would stay together again seemed to dwindle with every illicit red drop...*

The thought about leaving had long been brewing in Jims mind, and Copia deep down knew this had been coming for some time. Copia was desperate, as was Jim. And neither were guiltess...

*Milagro. She was his everything.*

Copia knew it. And yet he was still pursuing her anyway. Because he felt entitled, because he had had bedded her first. And it had wounded Jim so deeply. It was one thing he just couldn't forgive...

She had been his girl first. And even though she shared herself with the other men in her life she loved, It was Copia, that Jim held true jealousy over for her.

He couldn't forgive Copia for putting his hands on her, daring to touch her, not after what he had done that led to all of this...

Copia's glowing red eyes tensed. He looked down between them, on top of one another. Jim's heart was hammering. Copia could feel it move through his own chest, like a ruby chain yanking them together through the chaos. He sensed it too, in the way the pulsing heat bulged in Jim's roping veins. He was strong as a bull. Stubborn like one, too. He didn't want to tap out. But his blood was calling for its blood master. The familiars mark, silently sleeping had sensed its master near and had been awakened. The mark looked like a blooming flower, petals of heat and blood rose to flush the spot on Jim's neck that would slot Copias fangs perfectly, blossoming for him to devour. Jim saw the lust and desire in Copia's gaze, and he felt the hot liquid dribble down his skin. The soft rolling drops, the coppery smell of his blood weeping from that beautiful and damning mark, and the vampiroc gaze of Copias eyes, glowing dinly, red in the night, with a fire dancing behind them that made Jim shiver.

And suddenly Jim felt his own cheeks flush at that hungry look in Copia's mismatched eyes, even dimmed in the night, sparkled like morning stars, as if staring into Jims soul. Wanting him. Wanting to posess him. The demonic heritage in Copia, craved it, the anguish and desperation of Jim's faith and devotion.

Jim could never resist it in the end. It felt so good to belong. For Copia to look at him like that again. He needed Copia to look at him like that, again and again.

Copia felt the hardness of Jim's arousal pressing along a soft spot on his stomach and he groaned. A long string of venom slipped form his dirty face, a black shimmery substance that always seemed to bring Jim to his knees. Copia had only ever known a love like this. What he had endured at Valefar's hand for two centuries, tied to his own master, he knew, he was sure he knew, that it ruined him. He was fucked up. And he was being fucked up. This was love to him; mutual pain was tearing them down to vulnerable creatures, forcing them into seeking comfort in one another...

*And for the music of the night to begin...*

Copia stuttered his hips, feeling that intimate red chain flick and coil low in his stomach, his own blood responding to the call of its Familiar... such an intimacy was so unique. It hurt when he sought that comfort elsewhere, and would get emotionally attached, to another donor... Neglect Millie or Jimmy for this new heartache he had chosen. A toxic circle. Yet to break.

Even as they lay broken in the dirt, moaning now, they were only tangling tighter between their pain and passions.

Jim's head was thrown back in ecstasy, damp hair tipped into the dirt as Copia fed from him, whimpering softly as he gulped from the mark where he was now latched, not a drop wasted, and his whole body engaged in the Vampire's Kiss. The Soma swirling through Jim had a particularly strong kickback, and to others who he could drink from, this was a desired trait and Jim was feeling it rush around, flooding his every cell with fire and pleasure... unlike the way other drugs and sexual encounters had done to him, this was a high he could never achieve otherwise, not without Copia. He was addicted to Copia. His body on fire on a visceral level. And it was a wagon he kept throwing himself off of every time. Every bitter-sweet kiss a temptation, powerless at his weakest, when temptation always came knocking.

As Copia moved their clothes to adjust between Jim's legs, he felt a surge of impatiemce and agression and he growwled lowly like a beast, before he snarled, biting down harder and wrenching at the worried flesh where blood and Soma swirled over one another like mixing ink, bubbling into his mouth and slipping deliciously down, spilling into him, making him latch harder with more passion and desperation.

Jim cried out, the pain intense and nearly making him scream, only held together by the only person who could right now.

"C-Copi , -ahh, aaughhh!" Jim choked.

Copia had suddenly pulled his drink deeper and harder, making the pleasure and pain mix in a way that made Jim feel like he was being absolutely wrecked and turned inside out, his whimpering tensing body kept on a knife edge. Jim felt like he would blow at any second, like he would literrally combust and explode from that brief sensation that nearly made him pass out. He wanted to let go. To release the numbing persistent heat behind his pelvis for Copia as a lover, and as his blood master. When Jim was out of control he buried himself in others, or, in Copias case was brought down like a beast and thrust into the deoths, to be pleasured like a man, and enjoyed like an animal, the way a Vampire Familiar should, in his unfiltered opinion; dicked down into domestication...trained to come, stay, and seek his master like a lost creature seeking shelter in the embrace of darkness.

*Fuck that.*

"Yeah, fuck that." Copia slurped, his fingers finding their way between Jim's legs, massaging over Jim, kneading with the right force to make Jim's hardened need dribble pathetically down onto his stomach, mussing into the dark patch of hair happily trailing down below the opened waistband. Exposed and demanding to be soothed. Copias thumb circled the end of Jim's pleasure, dragging down and teasing as he rocked into Jim still locked in his desperate kiss at Jim's neck. He belonged there. Copia needed to belong there because he was afraid Jim would leave him...

*Just like everyone else in his very long years living life. He knew it.... Jim had chosen to leave him. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but someday Jim would die. And Copia would have to face eternity alone.*

*Jim had made a deal with a devil. *The Ferryman* who collected many souls, and some that lived, yet unborn, into this world, and he had managed to bring the soul he found on an island of dreams... but he had exchanged it for, his Life Eternal.

Copia had chosen Jim. And Jim had not.

Copia had made Jim his Familair, so they could be together forever. And Jim had cast that dark gift aside. For a mortal life, to eventually leave Copia alone. Milagro had remained undecided and had chosen to remain mortal through the experience of bringing life into the world. She could die. And he knew Jim wouldnt make it long in this world without his angel on earth, Milagro.And then Copia truly would be left alone in the world...

To Copia, that was the unforgivable thing he could not let go, it was as simple as that...

Needing to unlatch to breath and in primal pleasure, a long bestial timbre of a man's voice that bespoke of his demonic heritage, shattered from Copia's throat.

"I wish I knew how to quit you!" Jim sobbed, gripping Copias flesh, fingers digging as he pushed Copia off. Copia nearly hissed and almost scrambled to get up and have the upper hand. But by then Jim had pushed Copia out of him. He flipped them, fingers interlacing as Copia's hands were pinned them above. Jim was hurting. And he-

"-need this" Jim mumbled. Copia's hips rose slightly to meet Jim who spat on his hand and rolled his knuckles into Copia's soft spot.

Copia keened as the angry burn of being stretched too fast and without proper lubrication made him tense. But the pleasure of Jim's blood in his body was settling in.

*like dark chocolate covered cherries and a Dr peper Jack and Cola, a black bitter Chocolate ribbon in a swirl of something to savor in the tangy metallic after taste that was Jim's blood signature. Like a fine wine. Copia wanted more. Always more. Could never have his fill without killing somone. Always on edge with the blood hunger. A hunher only Jim could even attempt to satisfy...

Copia had become obsessive over Milagro and his feedings with her. Feedings he couldn't have because she was preparing herself to die... expending her energy to keep up with the demands of the little ones growing in her once barren womb. Without her blood, Copia felt like he was dying. Lost without her bonding.and he was lashing out and attaching to other people behind her back. Jim knew it. Knew Copia was aching for her, and Jim felt angry that he wasn't enough. Copia was being so absent from her, and Jim was watching it happen. He wanted her and needed her, too. But right now they both needed what they couldn't have, so, like they had done many times before, sought it out in eachother instead.

Copia panted and his back arched off the dusty ground as "His Jim" rutted desperately into him, gloriously hammering against Copia's walls. He felt his own stirring as he experienced Jim running along that spot that had Copia mewling pathetically in the dirt. Jim growled and grunted, his harsh breathing blowing a bare spot in the ground, the loose bits flying out. Jim gripped Copias hand and choked back a moan that was rushing to him too quickly.

"Too fa- fast ah!" Copia whined, his stomach exploding with hot flutters at every sensation.

The rise in pitch.

The tense body and breath.

The raging flow of blood, all of it overwhelming against the scent of sweat, overpriced spilled cocktails and buttery greasy foods, the car oil, the slight off scent of the corpse in the car as the bone dry vessels that once house blood began to decompose under Copias venom, it's ruinous properties evident only in the quickly drained and the dead.

And as Jim bottomed out even deeper, his blood pulsed with energy and need, the sensation of givingball of himself, of losing himself in Copia, pulled him down deeper into the darkness at the heart of their love, a fateful chain from his navel to his heart. At this Jim let out a long stuttering sigh as his bloody lips parted in ecstasy, as if pleasure and releif had at last come, when Jim sank himself in between Copia's legs. Emptying himself into Copia, filling him with every last drop he could.

Suddenly the emptiness and the vulnerability shook in Jim's chest as he struggled to hold back his next fit of sobbing.

Copia gasped and reached up, pulling Jim in close before he could spiral with his own emotions and the tirade of thoughts streaming in his head. Copia could sense them so well. And he knew he wanted this moment. To hold his Jim again. To be needed by him. Loved. To cradel "His Jim" in his embrace and feel close to him again.

Jim had a hand behind Copia's head, lifting it from the dirt and cradling his lover to his neck. Copia gasped as his lips touched jims feverish skin. The blood is fresh and inviting. Such was the intimate nature of vampiric feeding. Time passed, and Copia's continued the nurse from the ruby weeping mark on that strong neck.

Jim sighed as Copia pulled drink after drink. The Soma in his own body mixed together in Copia. Soft sighs and lays echoed in the night. He trembled from the intensity of the feeding and the full force of the euphoric sensations that came with it. It was emotionally releiving and draining to experience. Devoted hands slid allong Copia's body worshiping every centimeter of that beautiful body, and Copia petaled his lips across Jim's over sensitive skin, as if in supplication to make him whole.

***

The woman in the car mysteriously went misisng for a few hours, and then was found when she woke up at a bus stop Across town.

A black car idled nearby.

When she rose to her feet and steadied herself, confused, she noticed the car. Then her phone rang.

"Congradulations, your have bee selected to receive the donation lottery of..." a strong smooth voice purred.

Holding the phone to her ear, she noticed the two people in the black car, were gone...

***

"Rough night?" Miasma smirked, tossing his glasses and his phone across the table, annoyed with being woken up to do some sort of last minute payments to a Donor's Accoount. Whatever Jim had been up to that night. He wanted to keep tabs and make sure, it was kept secret. And Miasma was not a fan of Jim keeling him in the dark. Not after all they had been through. His thick hair bunched at his shoulders as he sat back. Staring, watching Jim come through the tour buss door, the RV structure tipping a tiny bit as Jim mounted the steps up into the space with a heavy thump.

"How does it look?"Jim snipped, heading to the shower area and stripping.

Copia's healing factor had healed his injuries and then some. But even Miasma knew the sight and scent of a hard day's night.

"Can't help it man" Jim called out over the rushing shower rain.

"Shit happens, big whoop." Jim grumbled. Despite what seemed to be an encounter with what smelled like Copia, Jim was worn down and jaded like whatever happened tonight didn't change the fact that Jim was neck deep in miseryamd he ached to feel free from it. Even if temporarily. By any means necessary. Including seeking shelter to the one who was hurting him most now. Miasma hated to see Jim like this. Honestly he almost preferred Jim was on the hard stuff again. Because this particular self destructive behavior of his was both sickening and heartbreaking to watch.

Miasmas eyes narrowed as he sipped on his tea.

"Well how badly do you want to leave, are you at rock bottom yet?" Miasma teased. His tail swished with irritation. More than anything he wanted Jim out of this ugly rut. He needed him to be free of it...

*why can't you get out of your own way and love who you want*

Miasma thought.

Copia had a hold on Jim that was too complicated for him to break alone. But at least, Jim was admitting he had a problem. And that was a first step. Miasma was here for Jim. and even if he had to drag Jim to the finish kine himself. He would see the preacher man through. But he needed a moment of transgression. Of selfishness. Of hate.

While Jim showered, Miasma slipped out the door. He was jealous. He was angry. It hurt to see Jim get hurt, over and over. And also to see him run into someone else's arms, seeking comfort, seeking rest- seeking an intimacy that Miasma knew he could never give...

*Not without devouring him, wailing as he did so, burying his hands into the viscera, seeing the insides that no one else had ever seen, making them one with himself, as he choked gagged and moaned over every peice of the preacher man's flesh that would slide down his throat.*

Miasma kicked at the RV and felt his toe painfully connect to the hard surface. He hummed a grunt of pain, and leaned forward forhead pressed onto the dusty surface of the vehicle, mirroring his reflection, staring back at him.

"I wish I knew how to quit you" Miasma hitched...

***

In the early morning, soft groans and feeding noises could be heard coming from under the RV. And a woman who had been wired a hefty sum of money earlier, had gone missing once more...