#HARDWORK AND GUTS

[officially-going-insane]

Is that what I get for defending her from her toxic family members? Her taking their side even more? I don't think I've seen her defend me on my face. She's too busy with them again and then has the guts to come whining in front of me expecting comfort and support from me but then also has the audacity to go "I shouldn't be saying like that about them, after all they raised you" girl pick a side this wishy-washy humble act of yours isn't gonna work

[punkpandapatrixk]

❤️‍🩹I Just Want to be Loved ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

We attract terrible loves for various reasons; so many lessons; but now sorrow has got to lessen. Let’s reveal patterns by exhuming roots. We’ve got to stop this cycle of disappointments. Done being made to feel as if we’re hard to love.

We’re not hard to love. Many of us were simply denied love, warmth and affection as we were growing up… Don’t know how to love self; don’t know how to love others; basically don’t know how to even receive Love… Who’s to blame now?

Why the hell were so many children denied love, warmth, affection…?

What are you going to do with yourself when you were denied love, warmth and affection as you were growing up?

☆♪°・.

‘The child who isn’t embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.’ – an African proverb

People denied warmth and affection tend to fall into a desperate loop of fishing for attention as a result of love-deficiency, right? Some learn to lick love off a knife; some pursue success (whatever that means) all too frantically; some…shoot complete strangers in broad daylight; and some who ain’t got the guts to murder complete strangers in public places go instead for antagonising strangers on social media… Gosh, that is desperate.

But you know what, not all hope is lost because there’s still plenty of us who are blessed with this incredibly RARE thing called self-awareness. There are plenty of us who will take our traumas to the graveyard than pass them down the next generations.

You, don’t deserve to have your sanity and your Life ruined by some psychos who didn’t know how to love you. Reclaim lost pieces of yourself by understanding THREE Houses in your natal chart, babe:

4th House: your roots; tells you what was lacking in your home; explains your erratic 10th House ambitions

8th House: your marriage or your desire for a bond like it; this the House where trauma manifests itself in full spectrum

11th House: your wish fulfilment; where you connect with people who support your visions; breeds a healthy sense of connection, even community

SONG: Emptiness by BoA

MOVIE: Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Because I Can’t Even Trust Myself

VIBE: Trust by Hamasaki Ayumi

lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Ace of Pentacles Rx

It’s clear your childhood didn’t offer a sense of stability or security—the physical kind that children usually need. It could be that a grownup left early or it could be that you moved around a lot, so you easily lost contact with new friends you’d just made. In essence, it feels like you grew up feeling ‘everything disappears eventually; everyone leaves eventually’.

Some of you might’ve grown up not having a lot of material resources, but for the majority of you tuning into this Pile, it was more a feeling of a lack of warmth. For children, the pain of neglect and a lack of emotional connection do really affect our physical health more severely. You might’ve grown up poor and sickly due to all the grownups around you being inattentive, unaffectionate, and just…unreliable at best.

Because of this awareness, from a young age you realised you would have to do everything yourself. You wanted to grow up quickly and do your own things your own ways. It’s not like you had to grow up fast, you wanted to grow up fast to have your freedom and power! It was…hard to trust adults. It was hard to trust the world at large.

growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – 8 of Pentacles

On the path of growing up, I think you became a hard worker of sort? This is very nuanced though—there are layers to your developing yourself to become a hardworking person. In many ways, you grew up responsible because you didn’t want to become like the adults who had disappointed you. But since this sense of ‘responsibility’ is a product of neglect and trauma…this is coming off as your feeling responsible for everything. Everything!

Some of you could’ve been too hard on yourself, expecting way too much for your age. You’ve felt like you’re always the one with everything to prove. It’s hard living like that. It feels like you’ve put so much effort into keeping everything together, and yet, nobody sees how much you care. Nobody truly understands the fear in your mind and pain you carry in your heart.

In matters of relationship, you cling extra hard to friends or lovers, too; because deep down you’re afraid of losing things and people, again and again. This unhealthy attachment—and to some extent, controlling behaviour—is truly your wounded inner child attempting frantically to keep your Reality from falling apart…

reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 4 of Cups

I’m very sure that at some point in Life, your Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides are going to kick in and meddle with your Earthly business. For some people, it’s possible you could lose contact with everybody you’ve ever known in Life and go into a hermit mode to find yourself again. For some, it could be that your whole Life is simply flipped, without necessarily losing key people in your Life, for you to look at Life and human connections from a very different point of view.

It’s going to be hard, of course. Emotionally, it could be devastating. Themes of abandonment and betrayal are big in your incarnation. But you know, ultimately, all of these challenges serve to remind you that the Cup of Love and Affection you’ve been looking for has always been right inside of you. You’ve had a bitter time with a lot of people because deep down you couldn’t trust them. You couldn’t trust other people’s loyalty because you didn’t even believe that you’re worthy of that Love and Loyalty you yearn for.

Your Spirit Guides are saying, that although at some point in Life things are going to get really tough, know that when you’ve graduated those lessons, you’re going to be rewarded with the most beautiful Soulmate-shit friendships, familyship and relationship. Truth be told, part of your Soul’s scenario in this incarnation is to find your Soul Tribe; and find your Tribe you shall~

A L O N E🔻💗

ALL of you – Red Alchemist (John Dee)

becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Healing

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Misled by My Own Compassion

VIBE: Cry Me A River by Julie London

lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Knight of Cups

It’s very likely your 4th House is in a Water sign, but if not, you’re still very much a Water-y person; perhaps your Ascendant or Moon is in a Water sign, or that you have Neptune/Moon near/in your 4th, 7th or 11th House. All of this generally makes you a deeply compassionate person. No matter what outer appearances give, you strive to look deeper into a person’s Soul. You have so much empathy and you want to believe in the good of people.

Alas! This rotten world doesn’t make it too easy. This world is not a world where kindness and compassion are truly rewarded, if we don’t learn to be a tad cruel ourselves. You’re not in the wrong for being so genuinely good and compassionate; it’s this world that’s the wrong world. You know that? Therefore, it is paramount you learn to be a bitchilante! But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In spite of this PAC’s intro, I sense the majority of you tuning into this Pile actually grew up quite well. Many of you actually grew up in loving homes and that’s why it’s been quite challenging for you to grapple with the realness of the ugliness of the world outside of your loving home. Really…people in the real world…are monsters! And you were taken aback!

But some of you instead most likely grew up in chaotic, battlefield-esque homes and that’s why you’ve striven to be so good to a point of detriment.

growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – 0 The Fool Rx

Be that as it may, you being you… Well, you do put in the effort to try and understand what makes monsters the way that they are, right? It’s all good and wonderful, until you get yourself in deep trouble where nobody can save you but your own monstrosity. Depending on your age when reading this, this could be something that’s happened in the past or will happen; where you will be forced to grow up in the sense of seeing the world as it is and get firm with assholes!

Dr Jordan Peterson has this gold shit to summarise this spiritual lesson you will be taking at some point in Life: ‘You should be a monster, an absolute monster, and then you should learn to control it.’ Well, that’s male speech. In female speech, we just say: ‘you gotta grow up and be a bitchilante!’

Be a bitch only to those who deserve it. How would you protect yourself from monsters if you don’t have the strength to fight them at their own game, darling? If you’re harmless, weak as a fawn, if anything, the real monsters in the world are going to toy with your sanity: ‘I saw my “crazy” side once and decided I wouldn’t be involved with anyone that would take me out of my peace like that ever again.’

Be a bitchilante. That whole concept of ‘good, harmless, love and light, positivity-only’ bullshit was put out there not to really make you good but to weaken you against the truly monstrous ones. WAKE UP, BITCH!

reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 4 of Pentacles

So? So what if you’re selective with your affection? Not everybody deserves your compassion. That’s for sure. There are many people in the world and you can’t be nice to all of them. One at point or another, you’re gonna be a villain in someone’s story—so what? Everybody else is the main character of their own Stories; that, you can’t control.

Be careful that you’re not falling victim to your own narcissism in wanting to be praised in everybody’s Story, yeah? So then, pertaining to your 11th House, weirdly enough, your wish fulfilment is in the form of a psychological liberation from your own idea of yourself in the minds of others. I sense that if you’re East Asian this is gonna resonate much harder and louder LOL

Anyway, I want to assure you that once you’ve graduated from your spiritual lessons, you will be met with unique, courageous, rebellious weirdos who will be just as clear as you are about what it truly means to be a good person in a world that’s often very bad. How good should a person be to truly be considered a good person?

‘If I offended you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears eating chips and working on my tan.’ – Fuckology

A L O N E🔻💚

ALL of you – Green Geographer (Gerardus Mercator)

becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Success

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Lights Out; I’m Out to Find Myself

VIBE: To. X by Taeyeon

lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Ace of Cups Rx

I’ve to preface this Pile by saying this the pile that gets a little violent…

You were originally such a positive, happy-go-lucky kid, but quite early on, this world gave you so much darkness. So many reasons to be sad. It’s not been a very kind life, to be honest. Defo many of you have tragical placements here—your 4th or 5th House could start or end in Scorpio; have Lilith/Pluto/Chiron/Saturn there or in the sign of Cancer/Pisces; or it could be that your Venus/Moon is imprisoned in the 8th or 12th House and harshly aspected, too...

If your childhood has been violent or mightily confusing, it’s a group thing, OK? You can think like that. It’s not your fault. Know that practically everybody who has these harsh placements has gone through very similar things as you. So you’re really not the only one who’s failing—whatever that means. You’ve been gaslit a lot into believing there’s something wrong with you, but it was your environment that was just filled with totally terrible Human beings. That much I’d like to assure you.

It wasn’t natural how you were abused psychologically and emotionally. The people around you drew a parallel to Cinderella’s stepsisters in the Disney classic. It’s ridiculous like that. I think you grew up terribly lonely and created comfort characters in your head to console your sorrows? It’s very likely that your comfort characters were in actuality a mirror fragment of your Soul Family’s existence locked in your memory bank.

growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – XIV Temperance Rx

Life, unfortunately, isn’t a Disney movie. As a result of the psychological and emotional abuse you’ve endured in childhood, your friendships and relationships might’ve been quite turbulent, at times even violent. Juuust a small number of you could’ve dealt with being called a violent kid, or you could’ve struggled with anger management and have terrible tantrums. All of these have made human connections quite difficult to navigate.

It’s not like you want to be a nasty person, right? Many times, you couldn’t help the way you react/respond to what’s being said and unsaid because, somehow, there are many things that people do and say that trigger a trauma response in you. There’s a very difficult Mars thingy going on here. I think many of you resonating with this Pile have some difficult Mars (ruler of Scorpio) placements/aspects that affect the way you manifest human connections in your Life.

Speaking in terms of synastry, it could be that you’ve attracted a great deal of people whose Mars aspected badly in your natal chart—consequently triggering bad traumas and manifesting violent outbursts in your connections. Ultimately though, these negative experiences with other people could’ve enforced your belief about how unlovable you are, which, really, is a false belief…

reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 5 of Wands

It is a false Reality that you’re unlovable or unworthy of a healthy relationship. That bullshit was implanted in you through the creation of a harsh environment that caused you a great deal of rage. Of course, you’re accountable for how you behave towards other people, but your foundation was never quite healthy or peaceful or harmonious, so… How about we put it all behind us and focus on healing? After all, it’s not like the people you’ve had a beef with were completely innocent? XP

It's kinda selfish to think like that, but you can depend on your own discernment to distinguish who amongst the people you’ve hurt or had a beef with to apologise to. Remember: sometimes apologies only make you weaker and looking at the unique bullshit astrological placements you were born with… apologising to the wrong fucker would only get you gaslit even more! So, don’t. Don’t apologise for the distress you experienced under other people’s lack of support.

Burn that bridge and detach yourself from that old stinking world. With your sheer willpower, you have it in you to rebuild your own little world of love and peace. After all, those harsh placements you were born with, are you aware of just how much power they bestow you? These placements come with a lot of turbulences but once you graduate your first Saturn Return, they also give you a burst of power unlike any other!

Lights out. Not entertaining aenergies that seek to nip your power at the bud anymore. Burn, baby, burn strong! Burn the whole Tower and find yourself on new lands~!

A L O N E🔻💜

ALL of you – Gold Alchemist (Roger Bacon)

becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Solitude

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

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[woundedoves]

Male School President Bully!Yandere x GN!Reader (NSFW)

a/n: i wrote this in a very horny whim omfg

CW: Bullying, thoughts of cutting the reader, a single sentence of a thought about fucking the readers guts, sadistic thoughts, jerks off with his hands stained with your blood, not proofread. you have been warned!

School president who is the sweetest, the most understanding, the most perfect and helpful guy you’ll ever meet in your life! Everyone loves him, from the students to the faculty, he’s always been diligent, hardworking and impossibly handsome. Always so good willed, never goes out of line, always attends church on time, helps clean after school hours; always with a kind smile on his lips and a comforting gaze in his eyes. Yet, when he’s with you, it’s like he turns into a different person.

You’d never crossed paths before when you accidentally bumped into him as you were hurrying through the halls to get to your waiting friend so you could walk home with him as you always do, you apologise profusely and then you feel him tugging on your wrist; slamming your face into the classroom door made of wood.

You groan in pain as you feel a burning pain blossom from your nose, coughing as he presses your face further into the door. He slams his knee between your legs, making you wince as you feel him speak impossibly close to your ear, “are you that much of a fucking dumbass that you can’t even see someone in front of you?” you try to wriggle your body out of his grip to no avail, you scream as he kicks your knees; curling up on the ground in pain as you feel tears streaming down your face. You hear him chuckle, so sadistically, “look at you, you’ve always come across as pathetic to me, seriously look at your face!” you wince and groan in pain as he takes your chin with his hand, his grip unrelentingly strong as he makes you look at him.

You finally manage to open your eyes, your sight is blurry through your tears but you swear you saw his eyes half lidded, his hands unusually hot as he shoots a final disgusted glance at your wounded face, shoving you into the ground once more before you faintly heard the click of a phone camera as he walked away.

Thankfully not long after your friend found you half conscious, hurriedly taking you to the school nurse as he asks you who would’ve done such a thing, you two are like ghosts in this school who would even take an issue with you? You felt your consciousness slip from exhaustion and the harsh beating you got before you could give him an answer.

Back at his house, he could barely greet his mother before he rushed to his room, he’s never been so fucking horny like this before. He did a lot to keep his persona, his grades and his social life, and yet one drop of water in his already full glass tipped him over the edge. You looked so fucking ethereal though, fuck. The blood, the way you screamed and groaned in pain, he never felt his dick throb so much in his life; the sight of you in pain was so fucking orgasmic.

He has always had a more morbid side to him, he used to cut up bugs and roadkills just to see what’s inside, he would be lying if he said he didn’t want to slice open your stomach and fuck his dick into your guts as the blood gushed out of you; the mental image now cemented in his mind, never to leave.

He didn’t even wash his hands, he fucking hates filth, he’s always clean and put together but… he really wanted to jerk his cock off with your blood still on his hands. He has urges, disgusting ones, ones he can never act on unless he wants his life he worked so hard for to be ruined. Though, you were different. Practically a ghost, no one knows who you are, no one would believe you whatever you told them, you wouldn’t dare to; he has too many admirers that would make your life hell for even touching him.

That was it, he could finally make someone bleed, make them scream and cry as he cut them open so beautifully.

His hand went to his phone and opened the picture of you, his other hand undoing the zipper as his hard on sprung out, throbbing and already dripping with pre-cum. What if he actually cut your legs and thighs with his favourite knife? Would you cry? Would you scream? Would you like it? He hissed as he took his cock in his hand, stroking himself in a harsh pace that’s way too painful to be pleasurable for a normal person, but it’s the only way he can feel anything. He moans as his dick twitches in his palm at the memory of you crying and groaning in pain on the floor below him, you looked so fucking good it was pornographic, he wouldn’t let anyone else see it.

He always did have his eyes on you, you were pretty attractive to him, yet you were just an unfortunate victim that was the last straw to his sanity that day. What if he didn’t leave? What if he just shoved you into that class, cut your school uniform open, mouthed your sex through your underwear as he dug his nails up from your thighs to your knees as he left bloody nail marks all along them? He buckled into his hand as he felt himself getting closer, biting his lip as his hand sped up.

He couldn’t help it, he never acted on these sadistic urges like this before, fuck you looked so so good, he can never forget that, he’s going to have you screaming on his bed with pain just to shove his cock raw into your hole. Doesn’t really matter how much you cry, how much it hurts, the more you scream, the more you wail, the faster he’ll cum anyways. He thrusts into his fist a few more times until he stills and cums all over his screen, to the photo of you, with a hiss, his cock raw and already overstimulated.

His sheets are dirty with his cum, his cock stained with your blood… He wondered how your hole would look, covered in blood and his cum gushing out of it.

[shroomdreams]

graargagrggegagaga sharingbmy brainrot about dilf!childe because this mf has me in a chokehold!!! ( tagging @q1ngqve since she's the one who planted dilf!childe in my brain )

i wrote all of this in my notes app thats how unhinged this got

cw: childe being mean, degradation, rough s/ex, p in v, creampie, afab!reader, mating press, fingering, dilf!childe, implied age gap (childe is in his early 40s in this one), power dynamics (you're his personal maid), usage of petnames

imagine being hired as his personal maid. your tasks are relatively simple: keep his home clean, cook him meals, keep track of his letters, do the laundry, so on and so forth. childe's family immediately took a liking to you, as you're an agreeable, hardworking lady. they treat you like their own instead of just being childe's maid. childe however seems entirely indifferent, if amicable to you- he is in no means a bad boss! he just has his duties to attend to, so he can't afford to spend that much time with you. you personally don't mind since it means he can't be around to witness just how much of a lovestruck fool you are when it comes to all things childe.

what you don't realize is that childe thinks about you ever since he hired you as a maid. he fantasizes about how he would take you for himself, how he might tear off that uniform of yours so he can have full acess to your body. childe swears that one day he'll have you warming his bed, he just needs to hold out for just a little bit longer...

one day, while childe is out on business, you happen upon one of his shirts. though you're supposed to wash it for childe to wear later, you can't help but hold it close to you, inhaling the master's scent. it wouldn't hurt to indulge just for once, right? and the lord harbinger wouldn't be back for a while- you can wash off the evidence later. so you find yourself on childe's bed, reaching between your legs while burying your face in his shirt, pretending that he's the one playing with your clit.

meanwhile, childe makes it home earlier than scheduled- he's an experienced man after all. but something is amiss, where is his cute little maid? that's when he hears noises coming from his bedroom, noises that sound suspiciously like his maid. he stays silent as he peers inside, watching as you pleasure yourself while holding onto his shirt. childe restrains himself from kicking open the door and ramming himself into your cunt- he has to punish you first.

you don't realize what's happening at first. one moment you were busy pleasuring yourself, next you find your hands tied above your head with childe's shirt. he sinisterly grins. "so this is what you've been doing while i was gone? such insolence. to think my maid has the guts to do such a lewd act." you cry out as he plunges his fingers in your leaking hole, moaning as he easily bullies your sweet spot.

"such a naughty thing- you're already soaked. you missed your master this much?" childe cooed into your ear, letting out breathy chuckles as he kept pumping his fingers, gathering your slick. but he doesn't let you cum just yet, pulling out his fingers. you gasp, panting as you feel your release dying down while childe rubs your slick between his fingers before hovering them near your mouth. "open wide." your mouth obediently falls open, moaning when childe forces you to taste yourself, sucking on his fingers.

"good, you can still follow instructions. if you'll be good, i'll make you cum. can you promise me that, sweetie?" childe hums, though he keeps his fingers inside your mouth. you can only moan in response. he smiles, removing his fingers. there was barely a moment of respite before childe places his hand at the back of your head, pulling you in for a kiss.

his lips barely relent in their attack, not allowing for a breath of air as he forced his tongue inside, groaning when he felt your own entangling with his. meanwhile, his hands waste no time, unbuckling his belt and pulling down his pants. your breath hitches when you feel his cock sliding between your wet folds, whimpering when his tip catches your clit.

"m-master-"

"none of that, sweetie," childe shushes, pushing your thighs to your chest, fulling exposing your throbbing cunt for him to admire. he feels himself salivate, both at the sensation of your warmth slicking up his shaft and at your lewd expression.

he leans down, laving your neck in kisses as he positions the tip of his dick to your entrance. you gasp, feeling childe slowly rolling his hips and pushing the tip inside. "call me childe. if you can do that- mph- i'll make you cum. can you do that, angel?"

you didn't have enough time to respond before you felt the tip of childe's cock enter your cunny, crying out as you thrashed about. "childe! ah!" you were so wet childe didn't have much trouble in stuffing the rest of his rod inside you, groaning as he felt your warmth pulse and squeeze around him until he bottoms out. he pants, nearly cumming on the spot.

"chiiilde- oh! it's too much..." you whimpered, your body quivering as he rolled his hips, stirring your insides with ease. you sobbed as he drew back, his cock dragging against your sensitive walls before thrusting back in, hitting your pleasure spots with ease. "childe!"

"there you go, you're being such a good little girl for me!" childe shakily laughs, pinching your cheeks as he drew his hips back again, grinning when you yelped as he slammed his hips into yours. his dull, sapphire eyes seem to sparkle when he feels your cunt pulsing around him, groaning as he ground himself deep inside. "hah- i can feel you trying to milk me down there. you've been waiting for this for a long time, haven't you?" childe asks, his voice oozing with condescension as he began a quick pace, his hips smacking against yours as your pussy gushes around his cock.

your moans are like a sweet symphony to his ears as you loop your arms around his neck, shrieking when he pulled his hips back all the way before plunging deep inside. "shit-" childe rasped, as he felt your hole tighten around his cock. tears fill your eyes, crying out his name as your legs trembled from the stimulation.

"did you just cum from that?" you tried to shake your head no, but it isn't long before childe began brutally thrusting in and out of your sensitive cunt. you don't hear the lewd moans and screams coming out from your mouth, drool and tears mingling together as childe keeps pace, driving his cock deep as he groans.

"you- hng! you little minx! you planned this all along, didn't you? ugh-" childe gasped out, his member throbbing as he dutifully rubs the walls of your cunt, reaching down to rub tight circles on your clit. you cry out in alarm, feeling another orgasm fast approaching. "lusting after an older man- how delightfully lewd. haah-" a mad grin graces his features as he starts chasing his high. "maybe i should keep you all to myself and make you my personal cocksleeve! you'd like that, don't you sweetie?"

you don't hear yourself agreeing with childe, mind numb and focusing only on how deep his cock is. his thrusts become even rougher and sloppy, before childe lets out a large groan as he ground his hips super close to yours, shooting his cum deep inside. you come at the same time, wailing as your pussy milked his dick, tears streaming down your face.

childe huffs, pumping his hips a few times before reluctantly removing himself from your cunt, his chest rising and falling as he watches his seed leak from your hole. meanwhile you lay against the bed with a blissed out expression, trying to steady your breathing. you almost flinch when childe leans in and presses a kiss to your cheek, wiping away your tears. "good girl~" he purred, brushing the hair from your sticky, sweat covered face. you sniffle, leaning into the palm of his hand. "i can't believe how lucky i am to have you." childe tugs on the sleeves of his shirt, finally freeing your hands from their prison. "stay here, sweetie. i'll draw up a bath for you."

a few minutes later, you find yourself on the sharing a bath with childe. he hums a snezhnayan children's lullaby as he cleans you, scrubbing your back with a sponge. it's a little strange to be receiving such tender treatment from childe, especially since you are supposed to be the one cleaning him. still, you can't complain, especially when childe kisses you as he lifts you from the bath since you can't exactly walk well after your little session.

"sweetie, how about i give you a promotion?" childe asks, looking into your eyes. "my family likes you a lot, you know. don't you think it'd be a wonderful idea to join them for real?" you look at him with wide eyes, cheeks turning pink.

"you mean...?"

childe chuckles. "you're such a cute little thing, angel. what do you say?"

you immediately say yes, leaning up to kiss childe on the lips, giggling when you feel the stubble on his chin scratch against your face.

a day later, childe sends out a few notices that he's receiving interviews for a new housekeeper while you sit in his lap, kissing his neck and breathing in his cologne. in the end, childe did get you to warm his bed. :)

[willowser]

i will never stop writing bakugou as a shy, blushy loserboy, but. the idea of you being more inexperienced than him ??

you're carefully bandaging him up at the agency clinic, after he'd taken a nasty hit that left his shoulder scuffed up, and he's been in here with you more times than he can count, much too late at night, and maybe that's how you get into this conversation in the first place; weird stuff always gets said at this hour.

"no, i'm telling you," despite the vulnerability of what you're saying — despite the awful look that must be on his face — you're laughing. "never dated anyone, never been taken on a date, nothing."

and — he really must look truly terrible, with his mouth open and his lip curled over his teeth and his brows furrowed, because he can't hardly believe a fucking word you're saying. it pisses him off and he doesn't know why, just seems. a waste, for no one to have appreciated someone like you.

someone that he maybe thinks about too much, that is too nice and not funny to anyone but themselves but still laughs and hardworking and. so pretty that it annoys him.

his question comes out rough, harsh. "why the hell not?"

"i don't know," you shrug, eyes cutting to his before focusing back on patching him up. "i'm — probably too shy and weird, or something. and online dating is hard, y'know! some guys are really into the purity thing, like too into it, and some guys find out and won't touch me with a ten-foot pole, so," and then you shrug. like that's all there is to it.

and katsuki is just astounded to know this. not that he's ever done all that much himself, but all his bases have been covered, by now in his life, and he just really can't imagine anyone knowing you and not wanting to—

he realizes the irony of thinking this, like a punch to the gut. after knowing you for almost two years now and never so much as complimenting your stupid hair and the stupid way you wear it.

"well," katsuki grumbles, averting his eyes to the walls of the clinic, trying to seem more interested in your creepy, anatomy posters. "maybe he's comin'...or whatever."

"who's coming?"

"your guy, i don't know!" it's unfortunate that his shirt is off for this, because there's no way you aren't getting a perfect view of the flush that spreading down to his chest. "your dude, maybe he's...figuring it out."

"hmm, maybe. that's what my gran says, but who knows?" you shrug, oblivious — and suddenly your singleness makes a smidge more sense. "i've resigned myself to a touchless, loveless life for—"

"he's comin'!" katsuki barks and you startle at the outburst, eyes casting over his warm cheeks and then down his chest and back. finally, it fucking clicks for you, like he hasn't been finding excuse after excuse to see you every damn night for ages. "he's...checkin' his work schedule and then he's...gonna figure it out, alright?"

you brighten considerably, lip going between your teeth. "oh, yeah, yeah," and your smile is unstoppable, not hidden in the slightest as you turn to the steri-tray at your side, shyness bleeding into his own. "alright."

[suguru-getos]

| Bully! Gojo Satoru x F!Reader | Part 4 |

Part: 3 / 2 / 1

Summary: You had just transferred schools, and your first day was an encounter with your new bully. He’s mean, terrifically hot & absolutely a menace. Though there’s more to that personna.

Chapter Summary: After the cafeteria incident, Gojo denies to accept your money in halves, and your primal urges of snapping at him come out after suppressing them for weeks. He’s bored of being a bully because it’s not fun anymore. Why would you give him money like that? Jeez… 🙄

Warnings: Reader is mean and Satoru is mean T_T A/N: Can’t do more than 50 mentions in a post 😭 I’m sorry I will be adding the rest of yall in the comments in the next part. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated. 🥰

Taglist: @mc-reborn @tvdumarvelhpsimp @alula394 @getoxmahito @knanamii @he4rts444mi @localginger22 @animeisforkings @ran6ia @creative1writings @lenaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @zoemaelol @shoutascoffeepot @whydohumansss @nyahctrl @a-trashbag @yoontaedotin @tojisworm-5 @mo0nforme @luciledreamz @camilo-uwu @sassyfoxunknown @bitchyinternetinfluencer @bakananya @mizzowizzo @k1y0yo @bl0odycutz @daidaiseam-blog @flirtyjen @jihyuniepark @stupiditystaar @lu-lynds @aymasakusa @creative1writings @roscpctals99 @eravariety @nanananananaiknow @b4tm4nn @milkm4nz @millimacis @bubera974 @ranhanabi777 @bleachisfood @thealphagirl @pinkprincessglitterzombie @tojisslxtt @chilichopsticks @deegausserr @tremendousdinosaurpizza @shittyhair234 @trisharay13 @luvvmae @tremendousdinasourpizza @stuckinaoaktree @ropickle @onlywaytobesane @mayumemehhh @lovernatashaa @rott3npoetry @ilovebattinson @qxdlx2 @herelegancy @megumisthirdog @k-sv @lyah17 @roscpctals99 @polarbvnny @eyes-ofhell @kazuahhh @theitchbbbb @millimacis @victoria1616

To be honest, your guts were excruciatingly high yesterday. You essentially ruined everything there is. All your efforts & hardwork to get rid of Gojo’s clutches in vain because you couldn’t control your mouth. After kicking the guy down in the cafeteria, you were called by Yaga and suspended. What else did you expect really? A freshmen kicking a senior? Nope. When Satoru does it you’re sure it wouldn’t have anyone bat a single eye to the ordeal. Another grumpy reminder that — you & the Honored one, are different. Satoru didn’t need to prove it himself.

Cowardice and your name are rhymes right now. All that classes for Taijutsu paid off to recover your leftover shred of dignity, however, you couldn’t fathom the expression in Gojo's face. He looked amused, impressed… weird. Satoru looks weird. He didn't respond when you told him to shove the money up his ass. Now you have to walk the talk. Staring at the wall, you try your best to think of a believable excuse to ask your mom for the sum of money. You check your savings, only 700 dollars. You should probably kill yourself. You can't really ask your mother about this… what were you thinking?

The thoughts are cut off by Satoru's blade like voice in your head. God you hate him so much. So much… if you were ever forgiven for a murder, it would be his. Your mind was tired with everything happening and you could feel the force in your heavy lids lulling you in bed. School next day…

You take your 700 dollars with you, you will tell the bastard that you will return the rest of the money tomorrow. Once you're outside Tokyo Tech, you take a deep breath. Walking inside and ready to be mauled. There he was, standing at the entrance and waving pathetically cheerfully. He loves making you suffer doesn't he? You grit your jaw, walking towards him. "Good morning, Gojo san." You could almost choke yourself for adding the honorific.

"Morning lil shit." He muses, leaning in closer to you until his breath fans over your face. "We were bein' a little too bratty yesterday." He muses, and your face lacks colour instantly. His eyes were launched at your frame without a care in the world. He likes making you suffer, doesn't he?

"So?" He clicks his tongue, smirking in his usual charming way, looking at you through his glasses. "Kneel down and apologize, and I'll forgive you. We can start again, no biggie. See? I have such a big heart." You bite your lip, he has no regards for your self-respect whatsoever.

You finally meet his eyes, gathering your courage to withstand his insults once again. "I have uhm, seven hundred dollars with me right now." Oh you look pathetic fiddling with your bag and giving him the cash you saved for your new laptop. "I will return the rest tomorrow." You sound determined, at least your mom wouldn't pay the full sum of it. It would be bearable.

"I can't shove it up my ass s' too less." Satoru laughs, clinging on to what you said to him. He almost feels sick now. This was unnecessarily dragged to the point of no return, he thought you would apologize and beg him to leave you alone, and he would. Then you'd see how amazing he is and why everyone is in love with him. Why girls wish they could go on a date with him pft- even if he talks to them, they feel grateful.

Here you were, holding a sum of money for the richest boy in school, in the city even. "I'll pay you the rest tomorrow." You managed to speak, and Satoru HATES this.

There is a difference between bullying and teasing and abuse. He crossed that line, not backing down because he hoped you would. You're the first one not to. He feels his chest tighten and a pinching in his throat as you hold his wrist, bringing it closer to you and putting the sum of money on his palm.

His baby-blues widen at that, and it feels like the money is practically burning his skin. It's a reflex with which he yanks his hand away. As if its burning him.

"I don't take half-payments." He managed to come up with that pathetic lie, growling and enraged, walking away.

What a fucking cunt… but hey; at least he didn't bother you for the rest of the day.

During the lunch time, you almost feel liberated that you don't have to report to him anymore. His problem he didn't accept the money. His fucking problem. You stood on your words, almost… you will give him the rest of the money tomorrow and be free of him for good. How amazing… how beautiful to imagine that.

Everyone fears him, everyone loves him. What kinda dude even. Maybe he doesn't have any real friends because he bought them all with money. Tsk…

You take your food and walk to the area where your classmates stood. You are like a walking marvel to them, someone who stood up to her senior and kicked his ass. What you don't know is Satoru Gojo ended all chances of revenge coming your way. What does it take? A simple: 'You have beef with her you have beef with me'.

Lunch is… peaceful, until you notice Satoru walking in the cafeteria, drinking Cola and with his pathetic group of friends. They can rot too.

You looked down, evading eye contact is the best way to avoid any unwanted conversations after all.

You were eating secluded, your only friend sitting beside you who doesn't mind being judged to be around you sitting next to you. "Uh oh, he's coming here." She hummed, getting nervous. You sighed, looking at her and holding her hand gently. "Thanks for your company, I can handle from here, I promise." You wouldn't let her be stomped by the Prince charming. She's been kind to you. "Are you sure?" She asked, and you nodded, patting her shoulder.

Before she could lift her plate, Satoru sat next to you. "I don't remember allowing anyone to leave? Did I?" he smiles, all childish, feigning a harmless look. "Sit. Down." He warns and she instantly sits down. You could feel her hands shiver. No, you wouldn't let her be dragged into this.

"What is it? Gojo san." You looked at him, making eye contact. "Just came to check if you had a spine." His hand lands on your nape, touching and probing the spine bone peeking out. "You do, no?"

You shudder, leaning away a little only to have him hold your neck and pull you close, whispering gravely, "If you haven't paid me back then you can't run off from your job, Pet."

You snarled at that nickname again. "I told you to take the fucking money today and tomorrow." Struggling gravely and looking at him like a wounded lion. He's wounded your pride, your self-respect.

"And I said, I do not pick up pennies. Until then, you do what I say." He chuckled, "Or you're dumb and lack common sense?"

It's been weeks. Literal weeks and you're at your breaking point. Frustration bubbles in your eyes and they gloss up. You don't want this jerk to see you like this. Fucking hell you don't!

"What did I even do to you I don't understand…" You mumble, watching him lean his hand away.

At this point things have been too rotten, and Satoru hates to admit but he just wants to hang out. He can't admit that now after raining hell on you and he's too prideful to. It's not fun anymore, it stopped being fun the moment he asked you to fetch ice-cream and the moment you looked at him with 'expected' eyes when he pulled that stunt in the cafeteria.

"You've been a bitch that's all." He shrugs, looking away. His tone surprisingly tender. "Maybe if you can apologize for being one instead of all this drama and cryin' and victim bla-"

A loud smack echoed through the hall, and Gojo's cheeks had your handprint crisp and clear. "I'm fucking sorry I wouldn't suck your cock and wag my tail around you pathetically." Oh you're losing all of the carefully supressed rage, your patience waning off to nothing. You've been supressing and supressing and supressing…. and now it's erupting out. Dangerously.

Tears fall from your eyes as you look at him, "I hate you so much I wish you could just fucking die! Not everyone's as rich as you ASSHOLE! MY MOM WOULD FREAK THE FUCK OUT AND CALL ME A USELESS PIECE OF SHIT FOR BORROWING MONEY ON RUINING SOMEONE'S HIGH CLASS SHIRT! Not everyone's born with a silver spoon!" People look at you and Satoru both judgementally. You know things have sprung out of hand. "You fuckin- GO! GO AND ASK MY MOTHER AND MY FATHER AND MY BROTHER AND EVERYONE IN MY LAST NAME TO PAY MISTER GOJO SATORU BACK BECAUSE HIS SHIRT GOT RUINED AND HE DIDN'T GET AN APOLOGETIC COCKSUCKING BITCH IN RETURN!!"

Before your senses could take over, you took your bottle and put it on his hair, drenching him. You can't let Karma take care of him, you are Karma.

Satoru only stays silent and Suguru snorts from the sidelines. In a weird, sadistically twisted way, he likes what happened. You just removed some of his guilt with this.

"R-right.." He hummed, "Okay so…" He stood up, extending an arm. "Now that we're even. I think we are…. let's restart. Nyeh?"

"Gojo Satoru." He extends his hand, as if he is introducing himself for the first time ever. Your eyes will fall off your fucking sockets and you will die of an awkward mouth-agape heart failure.

What the fuck was wrong with this dude?

"ROT IN HELL!"

[itstheghostofmypast]

Big Stupid

Highschool AU Choi San x (F)Reader

Summary: He wasn't the brightest, but he sure was hardworking, especially when it came down to spending some time with his girl. But one thing was sure, no one could hurt his queen.

Genre: Fluff

Rating: PG-17

Warnings: Implied Bullying

Word Count: 2.6k

Est.Read Time: 13 min

Networks: @cromernet @k-labels @illusionnet

Banner: @cafekitsune

Quietly, ever so delicately she nestled between his spread-out legs, his entire frame occupying most of her single bed. It amazed her how he'd be able to make her bed look small, well, he often amazed her, there were moments though, where she'd wish he didn't, he didn't do something that would catch her by surprise.

"Hold still." She whispered, moving closer, not acknowledging the hands on her waist, too focused on his cheek. At any other given moment, this position would have had her blushing mad, just the thought of him being in her room, having her little brother constantly opening the door to check up on her when he'd hear her squealing in her pillow, only to roll his eyes and close the door again.

He nodded at her statement, but did not divert his gaze, instead his sharp eyes were settled on her soft features, flickering to every freckle, every twitch of her lips, to the way her eyes were trembling- with fear? Truth be told he didn't mean for it to happen, especially not after he worked so hard to get closer to her, to get in the same stupid class as her- even if it was just one class.

"Don't...look at me like that." She whispered, turning to reach across his thigh, picking up the bright pink box of plasters she sighed, turning to face him again, something bubbling within her, swirling with the feelings she often kept locked away, but he was making it difficult for her, especially after what had happened tonight, the conflict within her was on full boil, the inner turmoil. Should she be upset with him or should she feel flattered? Was he not worried about himself- should she be worried about him? But should she feel this way towards someone who broke their promise? Was it fair with her-

“Are you…mad at me?” 

Eyes flickering up to meet him, catching the cracked glass of his frames, relieved it hadn’t shattered, saving his eye- this moron. 

The words left hanging between them, hands ripping the paper of the little bandaids, part of her emergency kit, never thinking she’d be using her cute heart plasters on him- she was no medic, but she had to do something to stop the bruising, were the plasters enough? No? Yes? Love always makes things better, no? 

Love. 

That’s what it was, wasn’t it, had her hands clammy and sweaty, fingers gripping onto his blazer to hold him back when they had come too close for comfort, gut twisting when he had landed on the ground, surrounded by them, sneakers padding across the moist ground, voice shrilling through cold silent night, knees scraping against the ground, crystal droplets clinging onto the lashes of the ‘independent, smart and perfect’ class president, meeting the curious eyes of the newest addition in her life- the big stupid- watching him slowly rise from the ground with a victory smile, as if he had not just been socked in the face, as if they were not surrounded by the same hooligans who had been the bane of her existence for the past few months- only for the verbal assault to turn somewhat physical, somewhat stalker-like, somewhat scary. 

Truth be told, she was more afraid of the way he had looked at her at that moment, than she was when they had followed her to the empty park, the way he had sat up, slowly reaching for her face, cupping her warm, wet cheek, thumb stroking the skin, the way he had whispered how he was sorry for what he was about to do, the way he had broken his promise, that bat of his coming back into the picture- her big stupid.

“Y-you said you won’t get into anymore fights…” she mumbled, gently sticking the plaster on his cheek, smoothening it with the tip of her finger, before repeating the motion with a new plaster, this time on his chin, her other palm flat against his shoulder, pressing him into the baby pink fluffy pillows, the same pillows he’d love to rest his head on when he ever came by to study- only to float into wonderland, flying across the warm hued clouds with her, waltzing across the azure heavens, looking up at him, her smaller hand clasped in his bigger one, other hand gripping onto his shoulder, holding onto him as he swung them around, dancing to the symphony of her laughter, making his bruised heart flutter, soar across the skies, only to nestle next to her calmer, sweeter and brighter one, ready to beat in synch with her- thus, to be shaken awake by her, bringing him back to her, a pleasant smile catching his eyes, blinking up at her, basking in her glow, enveloped by her love.

“I didn’t…I tried to…stop them.” he mumbled, a small pout catching her eye, as she bit her lip, trying to stop herself from mimicking him. He was right, he did, her big boy did try to stop it all, tried to warn them, tried to tell them to leave, perhaps they should’ve listened to him, it was no surprise that he could take them on like that- with or without the help of his friends. 

Head tilting as he observed her, noting the way her head dipped in thought, chewing on her lower lip as she tried to contemplate the gravity of the situation, weighing the facts and figures. It was true, he did not mean to break his promise, he had no intention of doing so, thus, he was only following her back home from her daily math tuitions, as quiet as a cat. Making sure to keep his distance, it was his fault that things escalated though, mid-mission he had gotten distracted, spotting a vending machine, deciding to get her a little snack, while she stood at the crossing waiting for the signal to turn green. 

That was his mistake, by the time he had realised that who the idiots passing him by were talking about ‘teaching her a lesson’ were, he’d already lost them- which is why he had run down the familiar path, hoping to find her the one place she’d go to get away from it all, her safe space, the place where he clumsily admitted his feelings for her, standing there with a poster that he had made with his friends, with a crooked ‘I <3 YOU.” It hurt him to find her in that same space, no longer safe, no longer secure, as she slowly backed into a tree, trying to negotiate with her peers, who knew kids in AP Math could be so psychotic- it wasn’t even that hard, ever since Jongho had given him these magic glasses he’d been scoring so well, they put him in the same slot as his girl- mission accomplished.

 He had called them out, walking towards them with peace in mind, asking them politely to leave, but apparently wearing these glasses somehow meant that he had magically lost all the physical strength and wit he had- again, he wondered how these kids ever ended up being so smart if they were so stupid. No, he still didn’t pick a fight, he had merely maneuvered around the hooligans, clasping his girl’s hand and pulling away, until a sneaky bastard had snuck up on him, which led to the others to join the fun, once the small mountain fell to the ground, trying to block the hits. Though that didn’t last long, once he saw the way she was shaking, eyes trembling and moist, her hands clutching onto him- no one made his queen cry.

“Thank you…for following me.”

Her words breaking his train of thought as he nodded instantly, body that had slumped and relaxed, jerked back awake to attend to her, regardless of how she was the one tending to his wounds at the moment. “If you weren’t there…I don't wanna know what they would’ve done.”

She could feel his grip tighten around her at the statement, noticing in the way his warm eyes had hardened at just the thought, though she knew deep down her big stupid was a softie, especially for her. Crumpling the wrappers of the plasters she smiled up at him, trying to bring him back to her, leaning closer to brush her lips against his, careful of the cut on his lower lip, trying to ensure it didn’t sting, only to gasp when he pressed her against him, squeezing her closer, looking down at her with his signature smile, causing her to gently poke his dimple, “Take off your glasses…they’re broken.”

“No.”

Her brows furrowed at his curt response, no? Who said- no one ever says- he barely ever said no to her! With a huff, somewhat bratty, she reached up for his crooked glasses, only for him to turn his head the other way, earning a whine from her, which almost had him believe that she had given up, though as soon as he looked at her eyes, he internally groaned, he had seen that look before- that’s what he gets for dating Jongho’s sister, even if she was older than his friend, she would become as bratty as he did when either didn’t get what they wanted and right now, she wanted his glasses.

 “Sannie! Take them off! They’re broken.” with that she reached for them again, only for him to pull away, having her pounce at him, trying to push past his hands- an unfair wrestling match- one that ended as soon as it started, as he pushed her over, rolling her onto her back, her wrists gripped in one hand, pinned above her, pressing into the soft pillows as he pouted down at the way she was glaring up at him. “You dont even need glasses!” she spat, trying to pull out of his grasp before whining, kicking her feet against the bed, enough for the metal container to bounce off the bed, a loud metallic clang echoing across the room, though he didn’t even flinch, too focused on something else that was bouncing during her little temper tantrum, man, she really looked good in this uniform.

“Sannie! Stop staring like a creep and take them off!”

“I can’t” he licked his chapped lips, eyes flickering from her button up to her face, noticing her confused look, the way she tilted her head up at him, trying to understand him, as if she were trying to tell him that ‘she didn’t speak stupid’, so he’d have to translate- which he did, “They’re magic glasses, I can only take them off when I’m sleeping or showering, otherwise I’ll turn dumb again!”

“I-Magic-What?” Her words cut short as her face contorted in confusion, before a sly smile stretched across her face, a negotiation ready as usual, “if you take them off, I’ll let you see my- SAN!” she shrieked when he flipped her skirt up, glancing down at the pink cotton then up at her face, his face wearing an unamused look, as his hand fixed her skirt again, “Like I said, they make me smart, I’m holding you down, I can easily check it out myself, you don’t need to flash me.”

“You’re not smart, you’re a perv!” she whined, face blushing mad from embarrassment, true, it was a cheap tactic, but hey, he was her boyfriend and she really wanted to take those glasses off, they were cracked and crooked, obscuring her view of his perfect face.

“No, I’m smart, that’s how I moved up to your class too.” he stated as a matter of fact.

“San…you…you studied to get there- who told - who gave you these glasses?”

“Jongho. I told him I wanted to spend more time with you…but since you’re super smart I could never be in the same class as you, and being president meant you’re busy with club activities and school so I couldn’t drag you away from all that, you worked so hard for it- so he gave me these glasses, and said if I use these while studying, I’ll become smart! That way at least I’d be able to be with you and I’d become smart enough to do it all. And I did! Now we’re in Math together!”

Honestly, she wasn’t sure if she should find it sweet that her brother was helping her boyfriend or be upset about how stupid he was, or be amazed at the way Jongho was able to fix her boyfriend’s attention span issue- glasses to concentrate, wow. With a heavy sigh she smiled up at him, her heart swelling with joy at the realisation, behind all this stupidity, the premise of this nonsense, was her- it was all for her. God, he looked so sweet, hovering above her, with those glasses, heart printed pink plasters all over his face, his uniformed all worn out from the day’s events, hair a mess- but his expressions held the kind of softness that had her falling to her knees, his sharp eyes boring into hers, swirling with tenderness that had assured her of his caring mannerism the first time Jongho had brought him home, when the shy mountain of a boy had meekly dipped his head, bowing whilst he had introduced himself- who knew that shy boy would be holding her down like this, physically with his strength and mentally with his love.

“Sannie?”

“Hmm?”

“Let me fix them.”

That’s how she found herself back in their original position, sitting between his legs as she tried to wrap the pink plaster around the hinge of his glasses, she couldn’t fix the glass but she could fix the balance- ever so often, she’d glance up at him and smile at the way he had his eyes clenched shut. He had told her that he’d keep them closed so the ‘smart wouldn’t escape’, and now she’d look at his face, one contorted in pure concentration, his angular face waiting there, all putty in her hands- he really was her big stupid.

“There…we’re all done.” she smiled, leaning closer to slip his glasses back on, making sure to be as gently as she could, pulling back to smile at him when he opened his eyes and smiled back at her, “Do you feel smart, Sannie?”

“Mhmmm…”

“That’s good.” she cooed at his response, leaning closer as she sighed, finally relaxing, laying on her side, head resting on his shoulder, hands holding onto his bruised one, gently tracing the reddened knuckles with nimble fingers, his other arm holding her close by the waist. 

“Sannie?” she whispered, pulling his hand up to her face, pressing a gentle kiss against his knuckles, earning a squeeze at the waist, followed by a shy, “Hmmm?”

“Thank you for saving me.” she mumbled, eyes drooping as the exhaustion of the day finally started to settle in, not bothered about the position they were in, or the fact that she was still in uniform and so was he- his warmth and presence was comforting enough to lull her to a blissful state between sleep and consciousness.

“Anything for you…” was all she heard, before her body slumped against his, her gentle breathing and steady heartbeat pulling him in with her, his body sliding down to lay against her soft bedding properly, his sore back cracking when he stretched, slowly manoeuvring her to lay beside him, trying to accommodate the two on the small bed, so that she was on her side, head on the pillow facing him. His hand cupping her cheek, as he blinked at her, taking in her relaxed features, the cracked glass no longer obscuring the view as he smiled at her with tired eyes, scooting closer to her, placing his chin on top of her head, heart jumping with glee when she wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face in his neck, his own grip on her tightened,

“Anything for you.”

A/N: Yes, I am obsessed with Baji from Tokyo Revengers, its adorable how and why he wore glasses. Yes, I am obsessed with this song as well- blame @edenesth

Taglist: @edenesth @yessa-vie @mlysalt @the-kpop-simp @spooo00oky @bunnyluvr25 @s-h-y-a @ateezswonderland

[andhumanslovedstories]

A while ago at work, I had a patient whose condition rapidly deteriorated during my shift, which I believed at the time was due to me not monitoring certain therapies closely enough. Essentially patient had parameters that their oxygen saturations should be between 88-92%. The patient was on supplemental oxygen via a nasal cannula, and was having oxygen saturations of 95% or more. The patient later became lethargic, confused, and hard to rouse. The patient was in hypercapnic respiratory failure, where they essentially were not exhaling enough CO2, the waste product of respirations. Patients who have oxygen parameters of 88-92% tend to be COPD patients, and I'd been taught where giving them too much oxygen can result in CO2 retention.

We ended up having to call a rapid response on that patient who needed to go on the bipap (non-invasive ventilator) to help them breathe effectively, and I went home from that shift feeling certain that I killed this person. That I had triggered a terminal decline that the patient would never recover from.

(Perhaps some context here: my grandfather went into hypercapnic respiratory failure and then died within a few days. Maybe he would have passed either way, I think probably he would have, but the respiratory failure was the moment his decline started accelerating. After he went hypercapnic, he was non-responsive from that point on.)

I called in sick to my next shift because I couldn't face going in. I spent the day thinking about what I'd done, what my moral obligations were, how do you atone for something when you cannot reverse the effects of the original error, and how paralyzed by shame I felt. What did I owe the patient? What did I owe the family? What did I owe myself? How many times had this happened before and I just didn't know because the decline happened after my shift ended?

It was a productive if unpleasant day of trying to sincerely examine myself and the things I'd done wrong without flagellating myself. It'd be almost easily to complete condemn myself and to stop nursing because I'm a Bad Nurse than it would have been to acknowledge the many steps that led to this patient outcome, only some of which I had a hand in. But this was my patient. They were my responsibility. What was the right reaction to have? What should I be feeling? In the course of doing my job, I caused harm to someone I swore to take care of. I still think that I am a thoughtful, hardworking, and compassionate nurse. I don't think the hospital would be better off if I quit. But I hurt someone.

I thought a lot about how this outcome happened, came up with steps to prevent it in the future, and found a new commitment within myself for continued learning. (If you've got a timeline of my particular fixations, this is about when my determination to go to grad school began.) I also thought about how much shame was making me sick. When my patient started declining and I realized the effects of my actions and inactions, one of my first thoughts was genuinely, "Everyone's going to know what I did." It was thought with absolute horror. I'd hurt someone and everyone was going to know it. They were going to know I was bad at my job and bad as a person.

And I was struck by what an unhelpful emotion that was. How much it made me, if only for a moment, tell NO ONE what was going on and what I believed to be the root cause. That it'd be better to let the decline continue rather than intervene because if I intervened that'd be admitting that I'd done something wrong. I didn't listen to that voice that told me to hide what I'd done, but I instantly understood the power of it.

There's this thing called the Compass of Shame which is about the different ways people handle their own feelings of shame--they avoid the shame, they withdraw from themselves and others, they attack others, they attack themselves. I know my own reactions to shame and try therefore not to go with my gut instincts, which are always to say I'm an irredeemably bad person and no one can know about this and if anyone does not about what I've done wrong, I deserve literally whatever punishment they could give me. I've had to learn I can both have failed to complete my responsibilities and still not deserve to lose my job or my flunk this class or give up on college or lose all my friends. But there is something appealing about masochistic shame. Like you can prevent others from judging and punishing you if you sufficiently judge and punish yourself. You'll still be a wretched monster, but no one else needs to know that.

That's actively dangerous for patients, who are the victims of healthcare errors, and it doesn't help prevent future mistakes if we are too ashamed to talk about what happened and why. We'll just keep fucking up in the exact same ways because no one else told us how they'd fucked up that way in the past and here's how we've changed the process because of that. I therefore have an ethical obligation to not internalize shame when I make mistakes at my job. I have tried to remember that while also trying my best to not make the same mistakes twice.

And then a week later, I was sent back to the same floor with the patient who'd declined on my watch. Because I'm a float RN and therefore don't have an assigned unit, I go to different floors every night (occasionally multiple floors on the same night). I see patients for 12 hours and then almost never see them again. Since I was back on the floor, I girded myself and went to go visit the patient, who to my surprise was alert and upright and about the same as I'd seen her at the beginning of my shift before they'd gotten bad. I said hi and asked how the patient was doing, and the answer was that patient was doing about the same as they'd been doing for the last month.

This was not good news for the patient, who was still medically complex, still dealing with an extremely difficult to address condition, but they were also not in the ICU, dying, or dead which is what I'd feared. And with the new knowledge that the patient was, if not okay, than at least stable as ever despite my actions, I could look back on that shift and see it differently, namely that this patient kept continuing to go into hypercapnic respiratory failure with or without oxygen. And then I looked into what I thought I'd been negligent about before and found that the scholarship on it was more complicated and divided than I'd thought. That the mechanism of action that I thought was driving the hypercapnic respiratory failure was in fact waaaaaaaaaaay more complicated than just over oxygenation, particularly in this patient who had a number of muscular abnormalities that made much more of an impact on ventilation than the oxygen would have. And while I still had to improve my practice, upon more reflection I could no longer say there was a direct one to one of my actions and the patient's decline.

I felt simultaneously forgiven, absolved, and humbled. I cannot describe to you the almost sheepish relief that rushed over me. Nothing that bad had happened. What did happen was only ambiguously my fault.

There's a power fantasy to shame sometimes, that you are uniquely bad and that your actions have monumental consequences. My actions on the job can have monumental consequences, but usually they are little things, little cares, little turns, little med doses, little therapies, little steps, little tasks, little jobs, little kindnesses or little cruelties that help a patient move forward or which hold a patient back. I'm there for 12 hours and never again. I can do a lot in that time, but I'm not gonna cure them and I'm probably not going to kill them. It's a relief, and it's a strange disappointment. We want to be important, even in bad ways.

While I can certainly fuck things up for patients, while I can certainly kill patients or traumatize them or withhold care or misuse my position, while I can do all those things, I don't actually have that much power over life and death. Everything that goes wrong isn't my fault. And sometimes something is your fault and nothing really happens except a few people have a bad night and you try not to do it again. I think that last bit is the most important part. I still should have titrated her oxygen down. I'm more careful about that now. I'm trying not to fuck up in the exact same way. I'll find exciting new ways to fuck up, and then I'll learn from those too.

[sassasafreeaction]

It’s time to talk about the Laudanum Lesbians, Elspeth and Wee Morag. Right away, it’s pretty obvious that you’re supposed to draw parallels between them and Aziraphale and Crowley. When the viewer first meets Elspeth, we get this gruff girl who threatens the two of them and is established to be doing something “morally wrong”. Life hasn’t been kind to her, and she clearly doesn’t trust people. To really drive it home, she and Crowley are on the exact same page while they’re talking to Aziraphale and wheeling the body to the alley. 

Then we meet Wee Morag, and it becomes apparent that every decision that Elspeth makes is to better their life together. She offers Wee Morag food (which is something our favorite demon is wont to do for his partner) and specifically oversells it as something fancier than it actually is. Wee Morag calls her an angel. It’s meant to be a little tongue and cheek since it’s in the presence of a literal angel, but it also serves as a way to show that while Elspeth may not be a Good person, that she at least cares about the person close to her.

Now for Wee Morag at this moment, we don’t get much from her aside from her obviously being the moral compass out of the two of them. She tells Elspeth that she's going to Hell literally two seconds after referring to her as an angel. The more important part of this interaction I would argue is Aziraphale’s response to Wee Morag. Some part of him recognizes a kindred spirit in her. He takes off his hat in a show of sincerity and says that it was lovely to meet her. This is important for later in the episode.

After they fail to sell the body, all three of them end up back in the alley with Wee Morag. Elspeth is again choosing to not trust Aziraphale despite his change of heart to do what he now knows is actually a good thing. Wee Morag starts off on the fence, worried about those souls that won’t get into Heaven. Elspeth tells her that she promised to help, and through everyone’s various methods of convincing (tempting may even be the better word as there is a demon sitting next to her when she agrees), Wee Morag says that she’ll do it because that’s what friends do. Regardless, she’s now had her change of heart. Although I would say hers is more driven by the same thing that drives Aziraphale to help with the Antichrist. It is fundamentally for her and Elspeth’s benefit, not the Greater Good per say, but she needs that reframing of doing the moral thing of upholding her promises and potentially helping people.

In the graveyard, Elspeth does all of the hardwork and Wee Morag holds the light both to assist how Elspeth sees, but also likely to help her keep watch. She’s filling a guardian role for Elspeth. Later when Elspeth sells her body, she even says “She only wanted to look after me.” Upon seeing the actual body (a priest’s body no less), Wee Morag realizes with horror what they’re doing - the potential moral ramifications stare her in the face. She ends up caught in the crossfire of a gun, and she dies for it.

Originally, I thought that Wee Morag’s death sets Crowley up to worry about what might potentially happen to Aziraphale in the future. In a way, I still think it does. She was the Good character helping the Bad character, and she pays dearly for it. His line “It’s a bit different when it’s someone you know, isn’t it?” while pointed at Aziraphale can be felt by everyone in the room. Elspeth has been dealing with death this whole episode, but her whole life is turned on its head when her ‘pal’ dies. Crowley recognizes that it’s the knowing part that actually causes something to hurt. (It’s one of the reasons why he doesn’t have many human friends. He does have a friend though, and it would absolutely gut him to lose him.)

The episode isn’t over though. We still have to watch someone else pay for stepping over the imaginary boundary of Good and Evil, except rather than it being Aziraphale, it’s Crowley. Like Wee Morag, he steps out of his usual role and helps Elspeth, and for that, he pays dearly. He gets dragged off to Hell to have whatever Demons do instead of a rude note done to him. After everything that’s happened, it’s no wonder why you get that panicked shout of “Crowley” from Aziraphale. They just watched the worst case scenario happen for people like them. 

Also as another quick fun aside, both sets of characters are bound by something that allows them to not be able to carry out their actual dreams and goals. Elspeth and Wee Morag were bound by poverty while Aziraphale and Crowley are bound by their respective Head Offices.

[yanderecrazysie]

Hello there, I just read that you do ouran high school host club yandere request. I just love that anime it reminds me of my childhood. And I love your work too especially the angsty cheater ones, they’re my favorites.

So actually going to the request: Yandere Tamaki x fiancé reader but Tamaki is neglectful of them and cheats on them with Haru (angst heaven). Basically Tamaki and Reader where engaged when they were children by their wealthy parents . Tamaki hated this and by extension he hated the reader too. Despite the reader trying to be to be the perfect fiancé and supports him from the sidelines, the reader even make sure that the mansion runs smoothly and even learned how to cook his favorite food and cater to his whims. Tamaki still being blinded by his distaste for the arrange marriage carelessly ignores all of reader’s hardwork and flirts with every woman in the host club. Then comes Haru and Tamaki just falls in love and in the back of his head, what better way to get back at his father than to marry a commoner. Reader finally having enough of Tamaki’s cheating and intentionally humiliating them in public, rebels against their parents and cancel the engagement. The reader just leaves Tamaki behind and goes into the countryside to live a peaceful life.. but surprised Tamaki goes full on delusional Yandere, he misses the reader’s devotion to him and wants to continue on with the marriage. When reader left Tamaki felt empty and he started to realize his mistake, He tracks reader down to beg for their forgiveness and so that they can get married as intended. Tamaki still think of you as his fiancé and he doesn’t realize that reader doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore.

Sorry for the long request, I just got excited when I found out that you write for Ouran High school host club. Thanks for reading!

My first OHSHC request!! Yay!! And it's okay, it’s always nice to have a good plot to work with!

Title: Blind

Pairings: Tamaki Suoh x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes

Summary: Tamaki’s behavior proves too much for his fiance.

Part 2: here

blind

/verb/

deprive (someone) of understanding, judgment, or perception:

Sometimes, you wished Tamaki would just open up his eyes and see you. You, and not the engagement your families had forced upon you both.

You could tell from day one that Tamaki hated the idea and, subsequently, hated you for representing the ball and chain that attached itself to his ankle. You couldn’t blame him for being angry that his future freedom had been taken away, but you wished he wouldn’t blame you for it.

You weren’t much happier than him at first, but you decided to make the best of it. Tamaki was handsome, you could even appreciate that when you both were children forced to play together. He also had a soft side that you rarely got to see under all the silly dramatics. If only you could unlock that part of him, surely you both could be happy!

Then the host club started.

It’s easy to smile and say that you aren’t bothered, but it’s another thing to actually not be bothered with your fiance flirting with girls all the time. You could never help the twisting of jealousy in your gut anytime you heard or saw anything to do with the host club.

You’d tried to visit before. Make the best of things. But he’d blacklisted you as a customer, said with a careless tone that maybe you’d prefer one of the other boys. That stung.

“Make the best of it” became a mantra in your head, a desperate goal and coping method all in one. Eventually, Tamaki would either come to love you or accept that his future was predetermined by a piece of paper with his father’s signature. 

Did you want a potentially loveless marriage? No, of course not. But that’s what happened to most people of your stature, so it wasn’t a surprise. If you could just make the best of your situation, you could be happy. Probably.

The changes in Tamaki really started when a new boy joined the club. You could tell right away that he was naturally a girl, but wouldn’t out him to the school if that’s what he chose as his path. You began to suspect that Tamaki knew this truth as well, because he always seemed so flustered around the boy.

Haruhi. You numbly repeated his name in your head. Even in the beginning, you knew, this relationship would be the downfall of your own.

Numbness overtook you as you caught the pair kissing and holding hands, looking happy and carefree, even outside of the club where there were no requirements for them to act like a cute couple or something.

They were trying to be secretive and, at first, you wondered how you were the only one catching them in the act. Then, it hit you like a speeding train.

Tamaki wanted you to see.

Your daily trips to the mansion were mostly in lonely silence. You cleaned the place like his maids probably should, made him his favorite meals, ran hot baths for him, and sometimes left him notes around the house to boost his self-esteem and cheer him up.

As time went on, it began to feel like empty actions. Duties without reward or even so much as acknowledgment. Things you did just because that tiny voice still cried “Make the best of everything!”

Well, you were getting sick of that voice. That hapless fool inside your head that didn’t seem to realize that things were speeding out of control. How could you make the best of anything, when he continually gave you nothing to work with.

You cried as you did those little things- what had once felt like happy little jobs became heavy chores that you couldn’t figure out why you continued. The tears blurred your eyes as you made each gift for Tamaki- gifts that would no doubt be cast aside and forgotten.

What was the point?

When Tamaki called a crowd together in the school’s entrance hall, standing atop one of the highest steps with his hands intertwined with Haruhi, you knew it was all over.

“Haruhi is actually a girl- and she and I have started dating!” His eyes seemed to dart to yours to gauge your reaction, but you didn’t dare show anything on your face. You were still a regal person, determined to not put your family’s name to shame.

“What? Is that true, Haruhi?” One of the girls in the crowd shrieked.

You didn’t need Haruhi’s answer nor the shy smile on her face to confirm the truth. You’d already known well before that this was the future you’d been helplessly barreling towards.

The crowd had mixed reactions. Some people were supportive and found the couple cute, others were jealous of Haruhi, and many people were confused on the whole matter. Those were the ones whose words shot like daggers into your heart.

“Doesn’t Tamaki have a fiance?”

“What will his father think?”

“Does that mean his engagement is canceled?”

Struggling not to break down, you pushed your way through the crowd, looking for an escape. The crowd was too thick and it was quickly too late.

You broke down crying, your large tears blinding you as little hiccups left your lips. Finally, the sea of people parted and you ran through it. You risked one look at Tamaki and were upset to see him looking concerned. How dare he be concerned when he was the one that hurt you?

You skipped your classes, opting instead to head straight home and confront your parents. The moment you were in front of them both, you broke down once more. They wanted to know who’d hurt you right away and, when your story of Tamaki was revealed, they vowed to rip the contract into little pieces.

They let you stay home the next few days. If you could, you’d stay home forever. How could you show your face after you’d been humiliated and cried like that in front of everyone?

You focused your thoughts and feelings into gardening. Today you cut the stems of flowers and placing them into your basket before bringing them up to the house. The chores you did were fit for the family’s gardener, but he was on vacation and you needed something to distract yourself with.

You heard your name called. Furrowing your brow, you raised your head and shielded your eyes against the sun. Was that…?

It was, a certain blonde boy was speeding towards you at the speed of light. Had he jumped the tall fence or broken the gate’s lock? Either method was concerning, to say the least.

You let out a feeble “hey!” when he kicked up some of the flowers in his path to you, but you were more afraid of what he had to say than of losing a couple of flowers.

Finally, he stopped in front of you and dropped to his knees. You stood, watching in shock as he kneeled in the dirt, in a motion that you’d expect a man begging the queen to spare his life.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/n). I- I was so stupid, so blind! I didn’t know how much I’d miss you when you were gone. Please come back, please! I’ll do anything!”

You stared at him in shock, “What about Haruhi?”

The man raised his head, his eyes glazed over as they met yours, “I took care of her.”

It wasn’t so much the words he said, as it was the chilling, lifeless tone in which he said it. You took a step back, nearly tripping over the small mound of dirt behind you.

“What did you do to her?” Your voice came out shaky and unsure. Tamaki would never hurt someone, would he? That thought was laughable, wasn’t it?

Tamaki grasped your ankles and began to cry, looking more pathetic than you could have ever imagined him. You never thought that Tamaki would ever beg on his knees to anyone, much less you.

“I’ll do anything.” Tamaki murmured. Somehow you knew.

He would definitely hurt someone, if they got in his way.

[forthevillains]

Okokok this is gonna sound weird, BUT, pretty please hear me out 😘

So imagine being Albert Wesker's "childhood friend" Like when he was a teen he'd sneak out to spend time with you every so often if he had a bit of free time in his busy af schedule. Idk what to do about this idea from there. I just think it's kinda fun. Maybe he's secretly a yandere lol. No idea.

That’s such a good idea!

The fact that Wesker would have someone to talk to without Spencer knowing at all. Like he’d be so excited to actually have a friend he’d risk his everything only to get to see you. As smart as he is, it wouldn’t be that difficult for him to create a plan, but making it work with all the people around him would be much worse.

Alex surely caught him at least once, questioning his intentions, curious on why in the hell would her brother go out during such a time while they have so much to do. Wesker was tense the whole time they were talking, he felt stupid, it all looked and sounded much better in his head, but when he said "I found a friend.” - he cringed at himself. No matter this reaction though, as much as Alex used to tease the hell out of him and even make fun of him, she was still his sister and he was closest to the family she’s lost years ago. Something about Albert being able to make connections with people after all that’s been done to him is still on her mind and so she lets him go, having his back whenever Spencer asked of his whereabouts.

Wesker would sneak out more and more often, the more he got to know you, the more he wanted to be with you. It became something he couldn’t live without, seeing you smile at him every now and then, interested in him. If you asked about his parents he would go quiet, so you made a mental note of not asking about his personal life again. You became the talker and did he love listening to you. He got to know the smallest of things, everything about your own family… He made sure to remember every detail about you, especially the type of places you liked so that he could take you there when you guys would get older. It was the first time for him having a friend like this so he cared for you like for no other.

I can imagine Wesker getting really fixated though, after some time, he wouldn’t know whether its love or obsession he’s feeling, but deep in his guts he’s aware that it’s no good, not for him, not for you. He’s destined for big things, he has so many lives on his hands. He’s nothing like any other teenager, he has an important duty (and trust that sometimes he hates it very much). Though you always make him feel like a normal teenager, like a normal human being… And that’s special to him, by treating him like a decent human - you’re making him feel special.

And even when he loved to spend his time with you, everything good in his life apparently had to come to an end. You left, because your parents insisted on moving away and that was when you and Albert got separated. It hurt, both you and him, but in his case it was hard to move on. So hard he just couldn’t do it. He’d feel sad, always thinking of the times spent with you, away from all his problems and now it was all gone. While you were quick to find new friends, he became so lonely that not even William or Alex made him feel better.

You haven’t come back in years, in almost two decades. And Wesker was still thinking of you sometimes, even though he was somewhere completely else. He changed physically and mentally that’s for sure, now that he was captain of S.T.A.R.S. with even more responsibilities than before. He became cold, stern and hardworking man with clear goals in his mind. He didn’t include you in his plans anymore, even though he wondered where you were a lot, he wondered if you got married and had kids, he wondered if you thought about him the same way he thought about you. Obsession it was indeed.

One day however, you ran into him, on an accident. You didn’t see it coming as you were texting your co-worker of an important matter when you found yourself basically walking into his muscular form, immediately dropping your phone and if it wasn’t from him - you’d be lying on the ground right next to it.

"I’m sorry-“ you were ready to leave, but he stopped you before you could go any further. You were familiar, everything about you felt that way and when you looked up at him, all confused, he recognized those eyes. It was as if the time stopped for him, finally seeing the woman he liked when they were young, someone who overlooked all his flaws and made him smile almost each time they met.

"What is it?” You turned your head to the side, narrowing your eyes in curiosity and only then has he realized that he’s been staring at you through his shades and not saying anything.

"Y/N…” he only muttered your name, completely taken aback by the sound of your voice. He couldn’t believe that he was seeing you now. "It’s been so long.”

You don’t get what he means at first, but when he takes the sunglasses off to get a proper look at you. "Al-“ before you finished saying his name he pulled you in for a hug, wanting nothing more than to feel that you’re real. He only used to hug you when you initiated it, but now it was his turn, he felt as if it wasn’t real at all, that it was too good to be.

No matter the shock, you hugged him back after a while, wrapping your hands around him, taking a note of how much bigger he got over the years. He’s grown to be a handsome man to say the least.

"What are you doing here?” You asked when you pulled away, giving him a small smile.

"Going to work.” He made it up. He wasn’t going anywhere now that he’s learned that you’re around. He’s not gonna make the same mistake of letting you go now that he has more control over his own life. It might feel crazy to some, but he wanted to keep an eye on you, getting to know your habits, where you worked, where you lived and he wouldn’t wait for you to tell him yourself, it’s already been too much time without you. He wanted to make up for it now.

"Oh alright! Sorry, I must be wasting your time,” you apologized.

Wesker shook his head though. "Of course you’re not.” He was so gentle talking to you that if someone has heard him they probably wouldn’t even recognize him.

"Well in that case, we should catch up with each other. Are you free this evening? I’ve got so much to tell you!” There you were, the girl he used to know, immediately showing him your interest even though you haven’t seen him in decades. He couldn’t even say no to you, immediately cancelling whatever plans he’s had to make sure he’s indeed free in the evening. This time you’re not getting away from him, he’s going to make you his at some point. He’s been stupid enough to let you go once, he’s not gonna do it again;)

[catscidr]

i. note — i was feeling a certain typa way because i kept coming across fics where the reader was described as busty so i wrote this in like two hours to make myself feel better lmao sue me…. ii. includes — dottore, afab!reader. no pronouns used, only descriptions of boobs/looking womanly (?) iii. cw — fluff, hurt/comfort, crack-ish bc this is a little silly, dottore is trying his best (maaaybe ooc), a little suggestive but nothing happens, talks of sex and oral, casual touching. MDNI. tldr reader is self conscious about their body and dottore tries to make them feel better lol iv. wc — 1,8k

It’s not often that you get to lay in bed with your lover; he’s always busy running around his lab, either fixing others’ mistakes or scrapping his own work to start over what he has spent so much time on. Dating the infamous Il Dottore was a challenge not many were strong enough for, but you made it work.

You would spend time with him in Haeresys by helping him with some tasks (even if they were small, and didn’t really need to be done in the first place). Handing him different tools when he’d wordlessly ask for them while neck deep in the guts of a Ruin Guard, carefully organizing old reports and documents in his desk that would never see the light of day anytime soon, and bringing him a healthy meal to eat while he worked (though you would do that yourself, because Archon forbid he actually eats on his own accord).

So, given how sparse your time together is, of course you would make it count. Of course you would use that time wisely, go out for an evening to a nice restaurant, maybe even cuddle up on the couch to binge an entire season of a show you had been meaning to watch for ages but couldn't bring yourself to because you wanted to watch it with him.

You wouldn’t dare spend your evening together in bed, wallowing in your own self-pity while he sits up, reading a book you can’t even stomach the contents of.

...Except that’s exactly what you’re doing.

You can't really help it, though. You know how he is; diligent and hardworking, a man of his craft. You know he doesn’t have the time to entertain you and your silly questions and hypotheticals, you know he’s not too fond of sweet touches and words of affection. You know this isn’t your typical relationship, but you don’t mind because you get to be with him— and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Save for when you sulk and feel so incredibly insecure and inadequate for a man such as himself.

Humans have needs. You are human, and you have needs. Dottore is a human (to some extent, though still technically human), so he, naturally, also has needs.

The issue lies in the enormous, metaphorical physical gap between you and your lover. Naturally, Dottore is essentially married to his craft, so getting any sort of action is usually out of the question. You can get a peck or two out of him, one in the morning and one at night (if you’re even awake to feel his scarred lips gently pressing into your cheek), but that’s where the list of physical affection ends.

You’ve talked about your desires and boundaries alike when you first (officially) started going out. The discussion didn’t leave out anything sexual in nature either; though the conversation was mostly led by you, while he simply nodded and pitched in with a word or two every so often.

It’s not to say you’ve never been physical with one another. But recently it’s been happening less and less, and you’ve been finding yourself in this position a lot more often; curled into yourself, lost in your own thoughts as you picked out every little detail about you that you were certain weren’t up to his standards. 

It’s only when you feel him shift next to you that you’re brought back to your shared bedroom, away from the rainy clouds stuffing your mind. 

Dottore shuts the book in his lap, keeping his right hand’s thumb wedged between the pages. He peers down at you with a curious expression, silently analyzing your suspicious silence. 

“You’re quieter than usual,” he comments, tone as flat as it could be. You crane your neck back to look up at him, the duvet covering most of your face as you wrack your brain for something to say. 

After a second of opening and closing your mouth, you finally say something. “’M just tired,” you murmur quietly, nuzzling deeper into the blankets to sell your point. He hums in response, placing his book on the nightstand next to his side of the bed and crosses his arms in front of him, brow quirked up in disapproval. Piercing red eyes stare down at you, making you hold back a shudder. Archons, you’d never get tired of seeing him without that ornate mask of his.

“It’s quite abnormal for you, of all people, to be silent when presented with the opportunity to have a conversation with me, uninterrupted” Dottore states, watching as you tense in your little cocoon. After a beat you emerge from your safety, chin just barely peeking out of the edge of the duvet. 

“...I had a long day.” You avoid looking at him, a pout gracing your lips. He huffs in response and runs a hand through his loose hair. “Long day you say?” Dottore keeps his composure intact, remembering the moments you’ve whined to him throughout the day about how completely and utterly bored you felt. 

“Mm. Long day, right,” he brings one hand down to hold onto the duvet and pulls it down, making you reach for the blanket to cover yourself up; though your efforts are in vain. “What’s on your mind.” 

The way he spoke to you sent shivers down your spine, shuddering at the way he spoke in a way he would when making a statement. 

“Nuhh... nothing. Nothing at all, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shift in the bed to cover yourself, even if it’s entirely unnecessary. The tee shirt you wore covered you plenty, but without the duvet you just felt so... exposed. Especially with how well Dottore could read your body language; it’s like you didn’t even need to say anything (because you didn’t). 

His gaze on you never relents as he scrutinizes your appearance; your furrowed brows, your hair sprawled across the pillow- still damp from your shower- and the way your lip trembles almost imperceptibly as you hold back the urge to talk about what’s been bothering you. He hates having to metaphorically twist your arm to get you to open up, but if that’s what he needed to do to keep you sane, he’d do it over and over again. 

Dottore scoots his body down to lay in the bed properly and turns to his side to face you, icy hair cascading down his neck as he pulls you in towards him with a hand on your waist. You squeak, tilting your head back so as to not invade his personal space. 

“What’s on your mind?” he asks, softer than before but still with a demanding tone. You shrink, avoiding looking into his eyes. 

“Nothi-” 

“I’m not in the mood for games.” He says your name quietly, thinly veiled with an unspoken warning. 

With a huff you bite the inside of your cheeks, and finally relent. You speak quietly and without even an ounce of confidence, earning a sharp sigh from your lover. 

“I can’t hear you when you mumble like th-” 

“I’m flat!” you practically shout. 

Dottore blinks back the whiplash that hit him in the face, stern expression fading into one of complete and utter perplexion. You don’t elaborate, staying quiet as a deep flush takes over your cheeks. 

“You’re... what?” 

He stares at you owlishly, for once at a loss for words. You nod, sitting up to properly articulate your feelings now that the cat was out of the bag. 

“My boobs are small! I have no ass! I’m... I look like a door!” You gesture at your chest, expression looking entirely distraught as you vent your feelings out to your lover. Your shoulders droop down unceremoniously, lips jutting out in a pout as you stare at the wall to avoid crossing Dottore’s gaze. The sound of the wind howling outside of your bedroom window morphs into what almost sounds like a laugh, as if mother nature herself was cackling at your expense.

“I feel bad when people see you with me. I can’t... I have such a bad gag reflex I can’t even take a third of your dick in my m-” 

He cuts you off by placing a hand on your shoulder, frown etched deep onto his face. If you looked closely you’d see red dusting the tips of his ears, contrasting against his hair. 

“You’re self-conscious because you have... small breasts and a... sensitive uvula?” Dottore says, his tone completely void of the confidence he usually carried. Fingers comb through your hair, light and gentle, as he thinks of what he can even say in response to your confession. 

You sniffle, looking down at yourself. The shirt you wore did little to help your smaller cup size— and as you frown at yourself, you bring a hand up and place it over one breast. “See, even my hand can cover them easily. My body doesn’t have even a little bit of curves.” 

Although at a loss, Dottore recovers from the absurdity of the situation in record time. He shifts your body so you’re now facing him, and very casually slips his hands underneath your shirt to cup your breasts. He speaks before you can, cutting off the slurry of complaints you had ready. 

“Have I ever complained about them?” he asks solemnly, forcing you to look at him. “As far as I’m aware I never have. Why bother being concerned over something so trivial?” 

His hands squeeze them gently, making you squeak in response. The more seconds pass, the more ashamed and flustered you feel for even bringing this up. As if a man of his caliber would even care for something like this, how stupid do you have to be to think of him as someone that only cared for looks?

“Well, no, but-” another squeeze cuts off your train of thoughts,” -b-but the rest...! Men like women with a fuller figure, I can’t even give you a titjob!” 

The words that flew out of your mouth made his head spin, from both irritation and embarrassment simultaneously. He inhales and exhales slowly, dragging his palms down to your ribs, then your waist, until they settle atop your hips. 

“I’ve never asked for anything of the sort,” he sighs, observing the changes in your face carefully. 

“Yeah, but-” 

“No ‘but’s. Your body is fine. It does not matter how it looks like from the outside; your organs are working properly, and you do not have any abnormalities forming anywhere inside or outside of it. How your figure looks holds little importance to me.” 

His words sink in, and you feel your invisible dog ears droop to rest flat on top of your head as you glance down at your lap, shame ringing in your ears. Dottore’s grasp tightens around your hips, demanding for your attention to be on him once again, refusing to let you sulk as long as he could help it.

“Although, putting functionality aside, do I need to remind you exactly what I think of your body? Shall I remind you how you make me feel whenever I see you parading around my office? How my body reacts to you?”

Your lips threaten to quirk up into a sheepish smile, but your shame still ate you up from the inside, keeping you from reacting. Your lover hums and flashes you a wolfish grin, leaning in towards your neck to nibble at your ear, teasing the flushed skin. 

“We do have the rest of the night to ourselves, don’t we? Want to find out just how much your body affects me, my love?”

[punkpandapatrixk]

🍷Scent of Your Destined Person ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

Come ti vidi           when I saw you M’innamorai,        I fell in love E tu sorridi            and you smiled Perchè lo sai.        because you knew

– Arrigo Boito

Somewhere in this world you and I exist. Do you remember how you always feel when you’re with me? Will you recognise me the moment your eyes lay sight upon me?

SONG: Horizon by NCT Jaehyun

MOVIE: Spirited Away (2001)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Everything I Do, I Do to Make You Happy

VIBE: Misty by NCT 127

perfume – 8 of Pentacles

At the core of their being, your Destined Person is a very earthy person. Sensual and pragmatic. Realistic and dependable. Ambitious and hardworking. I bet you they have a large amount of Earth sign influences—Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn. Your Destined Person has a great spirit that knows how to make sacrifices for those they care about. They are such a magnanimous entity. But with this energy, they can also be quite hard on themselves. They’re not self-destructive though; just incredibly responsible and hard-working because they have big, BIG dreams!

Having said that, your Destined Person is quite a balanced person in that they know how to relax and indulge in the fruits of their labour of love. Though they are passionate and focused, your Destined Person is also quite a spiritual person, which they themselves might not be super aware of. The spiritual side of them makes them highly intuitive, and they’re the type to trust those gut instincts, so they tend to be successful in Life from courageously making bold decisions, guided by their Heart.

Your Destined Person’s spiritual side makes them dream WILD dreams nobody else dares to dream. You could say they’re rather eccentric in regards to how they’re perceived by their family, neighbours and peers. With a rather rebellious nature though, they pursue their dreams with focus and fervour. Thanks to their practicality and endurance (definitely strong Earth influences, babe), they’re able to follow through their plans and manifest their dreams rather easily. It isn’t to say they don’t sacrifice a lot though…

playdate – 9 of Swords

It’s never easy to get to the top and your Destined Person has endured quite a lot of storms Life has had to offer. In spite of their persona that may appear strong, charismatic, dependable, optimistic, and even cheerful for some, your Destined Person actually has a very soft heart. They’re empathetic and can’t stand the reality of people being mean and nasty to each other. To some extent, it breaks their heart when they witness people trample each other in the pursuit of success.

Your Destined Person is a charitable Soul who believes that a candle doesn’t lose anything by sharing its fire. Unfortunately, most Humans can’t see this. And they feel like they’re the only person in the world who’s bothered by such a thing and sometimes this makes them feel weird or weak as a person. To compensate for that sometimes-terrible feeling, your Destined Person has a tendency to push themselves even harder and sacrifice more of themselves to make other people feel good, happy (because they can’t stand absorbing other people’s sad energy, if that makes sense).

It's almost like, your Destined Person doesn’t know how to genuinely make themselves happy unless they’re being useful to those they care about. Unfortunately, due to this insane charitableness, your Destined Person has been taken advantage of quite a lot in Life. When they were a lot younger, they trusted too easily (too pure for this world). A lot of the people they used to know only saw them for their money, status, or access. Your Destined Person is quite traumatised when it comes to human relations in general but they don’t easily let this show!

a box of macarons – 3 of Cups

Tapping into your Destined Person’s energy feels, misty. They’re quite often sad but try their best to showcase a positive attitude because that’s just who they are. In some cases, they may be dwelling in a workplace or an industry where showing such emotions is not exactly appreciated. When thinking about you, your Destined Person yearns for someone who’d look into the true depths of their empathy and compassion, and still be OK with how morose they sometimes could be. They also wish for their Destined Person (you!) to offer some kind of an escape from memories of their terrible past.

When you finally pop into their Life, your Destined Person becomes engulfed in sweet but all-consuming gratitude that escapes words. They’d be speechless, or awkward, when trying to describe this gratitude they feel towards you. They have a lot of things to be grateful for and it wasn’t like their world was that bad, but there’s something about you that touches the deepest yearning in them and makes all the flowers bloom in their inner world. The whole idea of you, your sheer beingness, just the fact that you’re alive, and that you’ve found your way into their world…

How they struggle to express how much they love you XD They feel like your entire existence beats only for them, for their healing. You heal so many parts of their broken heart and restore their faith in a Life worth living. All those riches mean nothing if you’re not the one destined to marry them. They’ll be so devoted and loyal to you. There’s only you. And then your children and pets, maybe XD Your Destined Person will create a safe haven for you and your family. You will live lavishly and be gifted a lot of thoughtful gifts! All they do in this world, they do for your happiness and your children♥︎

143ML OF PURE LOVE ESSENCE🔻💛

flower bouquet – Gold Astronomer (John Dee)

home sweet home – Priestess of Divination

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – I Want No One Else but You

VIBE: Focus by NCT 127

perfume – 4 of Cups

To your Destined Person, you’re the dreamiest, most magical creature they have ever encountered. The moment you enter their Life, they fall in love at first sight, or at least, there’s something about you that profoundly disturbs the mundanity that they’ve been operating in for quite a while. You make them dream in more vivid colours. I think they’re going to be addicted to you quite immediately which would be hilarious to them XD They’ll be thinking about you non-stop, which makes them feel awkward. They’ll be telling themselves, ‘I’m not at an age where I should be behaving this way! Come on! Grow up, me!’

And still, they don’t mind at all being focused on only you. They enjoy that dreamy feeling all too much for them to even want to stop. ‘I love being drenched in your aroma. I like your energy. I like all that you are. You are my dream person! AAAAGGGHHH!’ They’re crazy about ways to make it with you! They don’t know what to do because they think they could be too much or too childish and they fear you might reject them. They’re thinking of ways to mature first and be really cool XD I think your Destined Person is quite silly hahahah

But as childish that may appear to you, don’t underestimate your Destined Person’s loyalty, babe~ Deeply romantic and devoted; they would not want anybody else but you. They’re thinking, ‘If I’m not with you in this incarnation, there’s no point in all that I’ve done.’ Their heart beats only for you. Your Destined Person may need some time to develop themselves when you meet, but they’re definitely not shallow. Your Destined Person has a heroic quality to them which makes them want to offer you security. All variety of security~

playdate – 9 of Pentacles Rx

So, there’s a bit about your Destined Person that may be perceived—especially by their peers, I think—as childish or unrealistic. Essentially, I think they’re a spiritual idealist. They can be quite dreamy, head in the clouds type of person. If your Destined Person is a male, I think some of their peers kinda look down on them for being… the way that they are. Your Destined Person, even when they are a male, is the type that goes home quickly to help with childcare. Your Destined Person is romantic and will prioritise you and family over workplace obligations. This is saying they will go the extra mile to prove their Love for you. They don’t care what other people say; they say, ‘Other people don’t know what Love is and that’s such a shame!’

Your Destined Person knows that Love can’t be proven with just material things. This person deeply understands that time well spent together, affection and attention, are more of a display of Love than whatever money could buy. They’re not the type of lover who’d get discouraged by other people buying their spouses bigger or shinier things. In that manner, your Destined Person has a healthy self-esteem and they really understand what kinds of things truly matter in a relationship. I think you’re going to be so happy, so emotionally secure with them!

I’m seeing that you and your Destined Person are going to enjoy visiting places like theme parks, or just parks, and you’d enjoy outdoor picnics with foods you’ve prepared or bought at the supermarket together. Just enjoying peaceful moments with a box of Belgian chocolate you both love. The most important thing is the quality time you’re spending together. Something like that. I think your love life is definitely all about the cute, sweet romantic moments that may be small but definite😉

a box of macarons – King of Swords

Maybe because they’re a bit childish(?) or just optimistic, I kinda feel your Destined Person could be quite reckless in love, especially when they were a lot younger. They could’ve gotten hurt quite a bit in this regard, but don’t worry—that was part of their Higher Self wanting to teach them about healthy boundary. By the time you meet your Destined Person, there’s only so much left for them to heal and grow from. The way I see it, your Destined Person is quite a reasonable fellow, so they learn their spiritual lessons rather quickly.

One thing you need to know though, is that this person has cut ties and burnt bridges with a lot, A LOT, of toxic people from their past. A lot of people wanted access to them for their wealth or status. It could also be that they were in relationships whereby they were valued only for their beauty or sexual capacity and all such menial things. They’ve been taken advantage of quite a lot, sheesh. Meanwhile, with that pure Soul of theirs… Yeah, they carry deep wounds deep in their heart.

When they get to know you, they’re so happy, so glad to know there’s another person who’s just like them. That you’re unfazed by someone’s numbers in their bank accounts. That you’re able to see through the illusions of the Matrix. That you passionately care about what’s essential. Your Destined Person thinks you possess a moral compass that’s different from most everybody they’ve ever known. They appreciate you a lot for your intelligence and your courage to cut through the bullshit of society. I think you’re the type of person who speaks your mind? They LOVE that about you!

143ML OF PURE LOVE ESSENCE🔻💙

flower bouquet – Silver Astrologer (John Dee)

home sweet home – Priestess of Clarity

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Possession, Obsession, Protection

VIBE: Poison by NCT DREAM

perfume – Ace of Wands Rx

Aight, this the freaky Pile. Get ready XD

Your Destined Person is a bit of a psychopath LMAO Just kidding. Not saying they’re a narc(!) or anything but they’re this lil freako who thinks outside of the norm. Your Destined Person is a true gem of an eccentric and they have many kinky fantasies about you. Dunno why that’s coming up strong XD But hey, you’ll recognise your Destined Person by how they’re truly the most unique individual you could ever know! A one in a billion kind of a brilliant person!

Your Destined Person is quite rebellious in that, whatever they do, they make sure they don’t follow the convention. They like to adventure in all the senses of that word. They like to experiment and test themselves also. What they truly want is to carve out a Life of their own, irrespective of what their family or community expects of them. Some of you, your Destined Person could even be this kind of rebellious inventor of sort who deliberately invents a new way of living in the modern world, that nobody else could think of.

A futuristic spiritual genius, I think. For that reason, some of you, your Destined Person might as well end up changing the world for the better! Someone like Elon Musk, I think? Your Destined Person could have strong influences of Aquarius that make them think outside of the box and then, in some aspects could be influenced by some strategic Scorpio placement that pushes them to see their psycho ideas see the light of day.

playdate – II The High Priestess

Having said all of that, in relation to you, the person they devote themselves to, ah yes, they’re still pretty much a psycho in that regard XD Lemme explain, ahem!

Your Destined Person is a sneaky psycho even in the way they think about their connection to you. They really have so many kinky fantasies about you, which they won’t always let out because even they understand how scary some of their thoughts are! They daydream about taboo behaviours in bed. Things most normies wouldn’t think about and when they do some of those things to you, you’d be in heaven, babe. They know, by intuition, how to make you… explode? What they do behind closed doors will drive you insane with new colours of pleasure you didn’t even know were possible.

This motherfucker is cruel dominant. They like to dominate all of you like they could swallow your entire being when you’re in their embrace. Your Destined Person is the type that expresses Love through sexual acts. For them, sex is not dirty, necessarily. Sex is healing and transformative. Sex is a sacred union between you two. They’re immaculately intense about it. They give their all—soul and body—and everything in between. They tend to like to be on top, and they could get frightening at times, but if whimpering under them happens to be a thing of yours, oh~ XD

More than appearances could tell, your Destined Person thinks about sex with you a lot. A LOT. A. LOT, babe. They just might not always make it known to you because even they get troubled by it sometimes LMAO They wish they could simply stop thinking about you naked but they’re down horrible. They don’t know what to do with themselves. They think a screw got loose somewhere in their brain. They blame it on you being… you.

They’re crazy passionate about you. They DO love you. Deeply and truly and heroically. They’re also just crazy. What are you gonna do with a lover like this? Hahah…

a box of macarons – 5 of Cups Rx

You know what kind of character your Destined Person reminds me of? Yasu from NANA. There’s an episode where Reira, a girl he used to date in high school, came running to his apartment, sobbing and looking for comfort, and Yasu didn’t give her what she was looking for. He knew full well doing so wouldn’t be the right thing to do, because he was in love with Nana. Nana was the only person he’d allow that kind of access to, if that makes sense. Yasu is the kind of person who knows the distinction between good manners that are real, and fake kindness or politeness that is lacking dignity. Your Destined Person has quite a noble character in spite of their eccentric insanity.

On top of their intense seriousness, your Destined Person is also someone who quickly burns bridges to the past and locks access to themselves. They’d never allow those who have betrayed or wronged them to have a piece of their success and happiness. They don’t entertain other people taking their kindness and gentleness for granted. Though they are caring, they’re not stupid; and they respect you a lot that they’d never allow their politeness to ruin their relationship with you. Your Destined Person is sensible enough not to perform polite gestures that might get misunderstood by those who want something from them. Ahem.

They are deeply loyal and will always be on your side. Till death do us part kind of partner. They want you to know security, have stability, and they’d hope you never doubt their intentions. I think, your Destined Person wants to let you know that when you’re with them you will never have to fear losing them and that they will never allow any situation or person to cast a shadow of doubt on your mind😊Aaaa o mai gaaa~

143ML OF PURE LOVE ESSENCE🔻❤️

flower bouquet – Gold Alchemist (Roger Bacon)

home sweet home – Priestess of Energy

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

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[marinerendevouz]

enemies to lovers with fine + switch !

ft. eichi tenshouin, yuzuru fushimi, tori himemiya, wataru hibiki & natsume sakasaki, tsumugi aoba, sora harukawa

eichi tenshouin

• listen. hear me out here. being the younger sibling of rei and ritsu.

• SO many opportunities for silly shenanigans to ensue

• i can imagine eichi being the one to attempt (keyword: attempt) to court you first

• which obviously, considering his history with rei, is honestly REALLY WEIRD?

• you’re just like . What the fuck are you doing while eichi like . Winks at you or something

• seriously so awkward. you hate his guts tbh and are planning on his downfall together with rei

• ritsu finds it so So stupid. probably gossips ? gossipED ? about you with eichi at tea club . eichi was kicking his feet and giggling the entire time

• part of him doesn’t believe his crush is genuine at first. he thinks that it’s amusing, obviously, but real feelings ? he is simply not allowed to feel those…

• until now that is !

• he thinks your snarky remarks and nonchalant gaze are enrapturing

• meanwhile, you: (ʘ言ʘ╬)

• you accompany rei and ritsu to ensemble square quite often, which means you are (unfortunately) greeted by the presence of eichi almost Daily. A Nightmare for sure

• as time goes on, you see how hardworking and charismatic eichi is while performing his duties as executive for starmaker productions and well. even You can’t deny it’s a little attractive. ONLY a little (a lot)

• once eichi catches on to you reciprocating his feelings, he is SO ANNOYING!!!

• teasing gets way wayyy worse. honestly it’s over for you, personally i would have kms by that point

• and once rei notices your banter with eichi turning into FLIRTING? it is joever for you

• half of him is extremely disgusted . he is clinging to his beloved ritsu to console him . the other half is impressed somehow

• “ah, of all people, it had to be him?” “listen i didn’t want this either, rei” - you

• to see your hatred of what eichi did turn into understanding… really even you’re impressed with yourself

• and eichi is Actively trying to be better . he is a little fucked up but it’s okay you can fix him (and also make him worse)

• also i think it’s so funny to imagine eichi’s pale ass figure visit the dark, brooding, gothic sakuma estate. Family dinner visit !

• rei does not give his approval. he almost throws a plate at eichi

• ritsu just gives you two a thumbs up

• a happy family for sure ❤️

yuzuru fushimi

• as the best friend of tori, you have personal beef with his butler

• WHY is he always with tori. how are you two meant to get up to mischief with him constantly Watching. Always Watching.

• and yuzuru thinks you are a horrible influence on his young master

• an OUTRAGEOUS CLAIM which you are ready to fistfight him for . you exude nothing but purity, innocence and charm

• tori is somewhere between amused by your hatred for yuzuru and tired of hearing you talk about him ALL THE TIME

• “and why does he have to constantly be watching you? seriously, he should get a hobby. he’s an idol, too, right? actually i can kind of see why, he definitely has the looks to make it in the industry. anyway—” “OH MY GOD SHUT UP (Y/N)”

• tori doesn’t understand why you’re so Oblivious and so Dumb . he cries to eichi-sama about it who is too busy . idk watching wataru turn into a bird

• yuzuru just watches you with that type of . Evil and Scary closed eye smile that he is a pro at

• honestly? you’re quivering in your boots. but also admiring his smile. his smile is really pretty. Wait a minute.

• the complaining turns into swooning ! who would have guessed (tori) (he guessed) (he knew) (and now he has to listen to you talk about yuzuru 25/7)

• you clean up your act in order to impress him. No More late night snack runs with tori. you are a SAINT

• yuzuru finds it endearing and honestly quite entertaining

• soon enough, he finds himself completely charmed by your. erm. really strange(?) behaviour

• he, himself, is also a strange individual so there’s no surprise there

• tori sets up tea dates for the both of you as well awwww. What a good friend (he invites you over for tea with him then runs away when yuzuru comes to serve you tea. it is a Kind Of tea date)

• honestly you scored a 10/10 baddie GOOD FOR YOU

tori himemiya

• ok i know i have done the sibling ones So often already but. tsukasa’s sibling. YOU being tsukasa’s sibling that is.

• you and tsukasa are constantly discussing how tori has Wronged you everyday

• tori just looks at you both and calls you a fugly pair of siblings

• “listen i’m not saying we bring a lighter to the next fine concert But”

• “that is not appropriate at all… that being said i am not discarding the idea”

• dw about tori he has his own personal bodyguard (yuzuru) to ward off predators (you and tsukasa)

• how is he so much cuter, more successful, prettier, funnier, cuter—

• you know that type of jealousy and hatred that you realise is actually. Much deeper feelings. Yeah. it’s that

• tori gets a lot busier with idol work and that’s when you realise you miss going to the student council office just to banter with him.

• it is so so lonely and so so cold… (2 hours no tori)

• head on the desk. you feel yourself drifting further and further away…

• “hey, what’s up loser”

• RAGE. tori himemiya.

• half play fighting half unbridled rage . its like a pair of kittens toppling over and hissing

• tori also (maybe) (kind of) missed you too. he complained. Loudly. to yuzuru who was like Alright we are going to see them then!

• eventually the teasing insults and fighting turns into the type of fighting that you do as a couple. idk it just KIND OF HAPPENS?

• tsukasa is like. Well i do not approve but at least it’ll be good for our family business

• a good end. a happy end. eichi and wataru have adopted the two of you as their own

• “AMAZING! when is the wedding” “NEVER SHUT UP”

• you buy matching, cutesey couple items and then fight over them

• really what’s a good relationship without a few death threats here and there

wataru hibiki

• i really cannot imagine wataru having an enemy. SURE he has a lot of haters (tomoya) (hokuto) but even then it is done so in an affectionate manner. There is simply No hatred in his heart. only silliness

• so unfortunately your hatred of him is one-sided ! enemy to lovers part 2

• being a rival actor to THE wataru hibiki is certainly a predicament. i mean he has sentient hair is there anything he can’t do

• and it pisses you off. Majorly. who does this absolute clown think he is

• you try your hardest at Every show, you sing your heart out, put the most effort in

• and then there’s wataru. who is Equally as hardworking but somehow 10x more charismatic

• even eichi tenshouin is his biggest fan . he has capitalism on his side

• so you have a burning jealousy and hatred for this man . Well until he offers to do a show WITH you

• you just give him the blankest stare . What are you on about

• while he’s laughing to himself and monologuing on how you two would make the perfect lead roles

• ????? SERIOUSLY

• that’s how you get roped into performing with him and a bunch of idols in dramatica . And well they are certainly an interesting bunch

• as you prepare for the (romantic btw) musical you convince yourself the warmth you feel in your cheeks at his love proclamations is just Method Acting

• IT IS NOT!!!! no one can resist his charm

• you also see how well respected he is as an actor and his true talent on stage

• like . He was one of the eccentrics for a reason. he is stupidly good at acting

• jealousy turns to admiration and well. yeah you guessed it ! admiration turns into an intolerable crush

• wataru, similarly, is impressed at your prowess for acting and shows no signs of being quiet about it. he is yelling how talented you are every 5 seconds and joking how he may Really fall for you

• spoiler warning: he does

• flash forward 6 months . Time for the play

• at the kiss scene it all really comes together . it is a sincerely romantic and genuine kiss

• the crowd is going WILD (except eichi) (he’s jealous) (“i wish that was me fr”)

• backstage, you may just pass out

• but of course wataru is there to lift you up and be a shoulder you can lean on

• And that’s how you scored a date with THE wataru hibiki . he is everyone’s wataru but especially yours

• absolute 10/10 power couple watch out hollywood (and eichi)

• tomoya is just hoping you can tame him or something

natsume sakasaki

• i am so normal over him guys trust (lie) (such a lie)

• he is the perfect candidate for enemies to lovers . something about him just screams ‘i love you in a way that is so painful and so mean’

• anyways . being the apprentice of wataru after natsume stops being his apprentice

• I AM SO SANE OVER THIS CONCEPT

• obviously you were Not Really involved in the war so you’re pretty clueless as to natsume’s former relationship with wataru

• which makes you question why he is such an asshole to you. LIKE he does not take your magic seriously at all

• he thinks that you are not qualified which is . so stupid like you cannot gatekeep being an evil wizard okay that title is for anyone

• in reality… he is a tiny bit insecure that you’re good enough at magic to be wataru’s apprentice

• magic and alchemy has always been something that his character is largely based on and for someone to take over that role so quickly ?!?&:!

• so he Pretends that whenever wataru is telling him about your latest experiments and tricks that he is Not impressed .

• he's basically the yawns . sloppy. boring. lazy .

• he actually really wants to discuss magic with you but every time you meet he just scowls and acts like a bitch. in usual natsume ‘i hate being vulnerable or showing any feelings’ agenda

• so that means you’re going to have to make the first move. otherwise the enemies to lovers slowburn 100k words pining fic ends HERE

• if you ask him for help with magic he is going to be so smug

• like “hM, i figured the likes of you would need help from me afterALL”

• just try not to punch him in the face it will be WORTH IT OKAY!!!

• his hands are actually really shaky the whole time and he is trying his hardest not to mess up it’s actually So so cute

• and natsume gets to assess your magic prowess too (he’s impressed btw. he wouldn’t tell you that so i’m passing on the message. he's falling in love so quick but don’t tell him i told you ok)

• and so you meet up at his secret room regularly ! and with sora too who you become apprentice buddies with ^_^ so joyous

• listen i wasn’t going to include the love potion natsume trope in this but these headcanons are tropey enough let me have this

• you confess by making a love potion together with him PLEASE HEAR ME OUT

• anyways you are the best most magical couple in all of ensemble stars . you create tricky little spells to foil your enemies (eichi tenshouin) and then kiss wearing witch’s hats . the end

tsumugi aoba

• another good enemies to lovers candidate but in a More pathetic way i think

• you’re the producer for past fine. please hear me out on this concept

• i think your beef would be similar to eichi and hiyori . like divorced couple type romance

• you are regretful of the war and find the memories to be bittersweet. then you talk to tsumugi and he’s like Yeah haha i would probably do it again

• HE HAS ISSUES

• and yet he’s still one of the only people who truly understands and unconditionally supports you… this is a sick and twisted world

• i think tsumugi is too moe kyaah anime girl to have any hatred towards you so the enemies to lovers will (once again) be one sided

• he brings up your time as second years and you feel the need to throttle him

• yet you know him so well too, especially how he overworks himself

• and as an ensemble square producer you have to take care of his soggy pathetic self. Sorry

• that one romance trope of the person bandaging the wounds of the love interest . that’s you two except it’s you dragging his ass to bed at 3am

• he will complain . so you have to compromise on letting him cuddle you

• everyone notices how close you two are btw . sora is that one image that’s like ‘hey why does senpai call you babygirl’ ‘how about we stop talking for a little while’

• you Deny all the outrageous claims that you CARE??? for him and say it is rather your past together that makes you feel obligated but it was like two? three? years ago mostly everyone has moved on. stop lying to yourself

• you two have healed Together… and that is what makes your love so raw and vulnerable and eughhsjk this is so sappy and cute. Throws up

• hiyori and nagisa are both so happy that you two are together and finally found peace (sort of)

• eichi is like Hm. interesting . this is awkward

• but it’s okay . because everything is fine (haha get it) now and you and tsumugi are (past) war criminals together ^_^

sora harukawa

• sora is too full of JOY and HAPPINESS to be enemies with anyone . So we are going a bit off script you are rivals in this scenario

• video game rivals to be precise ! i feel like the 🤓 typing this but it’s CUTESEY I PROMISE

• mostly you two play multiplayer games together and get a teensy bit competitive . in the video game club of Course which means we get natsume to be the (totally unbiased) judge

• sora is realllyyy good at video games which means you frequently lose . this is why you have waged war on him

• you will not STOP until the ultimate gamer title becomes yours

• sora is just ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ he’s happy to indulge and play games with you because your colour is always so bright and vibrant when you do !

• little does he know you are plotting his Demise. his demise on little big planet or something

• days, nights, weeks, months you train to beat him. and you never do

• he keeps winning everytime and always acts so modest about it which is even WORSE!!! you can't even get mad when he’s so polite about beating you

• once sora notices your colour becoming more dull because of how demotivated you are he gets really worried (◞‸◟；) he loves playing games but loves spending time with you more…

• once you admit that you’re upset about being worse at games he thinks of a quick solution ! play games together instead of against each other and he can teach you all his tricks

• (natsume offers to help too but he's Not important and he is an asshole . Do not trust)

• so your weekly gaming tournaments basically turn into gaming dates ft thirdwheel natsume and sometimes tsumugi

• cutest CUTEST couple 10/10 i love

• natsume approves too btw . 10/10

• tsumugi is a Little confused but he has the spirit (he also rates 10/10)

• (rinne will not be Making an appearance in fear of shu finding out but he also rates 10/10. Save him from shu)

OKAY KIND OF IMPORTANT MESSAGE SO PLEASE READ!!!

i would have made a separate post for this but i feel like no one would read it so. i’m finally back after um. 10 months. i was super busy and kind of lost interest in enstars and other things so i pretty much abandoned this blog… BUT I HAVE RETURNED! i’m going to try posting every so often and interacting more with you guys on here ^_^ i cleared out my inbox (sorry to anyone who sent things in, it was cluttered and stressing me out haha) so feel free to send me any asks! i will NOT be opening specific requests, but you can feel free to send suggestions for prompts, scenarios or characters you want me to make headcanons for and i’ll try my best!! i also want to try out writing proper fics alongside the silly hc posts, but i might mostly post those on ao3, though i would like a nice balance between silly and serious(ish). i will also try writing for other fandoms like mhyk, twst and pjsekai since i am heavily in those as well but yeah!! my official comeback methinks. hope to chat more with everyone! ♡

[nastyavolk-cp]

THE ANGEL OF HADES

Author's note: To begin with, yeah I rewrote the story? Why? Because I hated the initial version, I can publish later the old version if you still like it! I think I will divide it in two parts + an extra! Warnings: This series contain yandere themes, obsessive and unhealthy coping mechanins and behavior, I do not condone with attitudes like this in real life. Main 'Relationship': Yandere!Platonic!Nico di Angelo x Daughter of Hades!Original Female Character; Minor Relationships: Yandere!Platonic!Will Solace x Daughter of Hades!Original Female Character, Yandere!Platonic!Hades x Daughter!Original Female Character, Yandere!Platonic!Persephone x Daughter!Original Female Character. Re-Tagging: @the-broken-truth; @aphroditelovesu Divider by @cafekitsune 🖤 You are currently reading part one of Angel of Hades, part two coming soon...

She didn’t know for how long she was there, but she miserably knew that she had nowhere to go, wherever she would go, they would find her shortly after, in the Underworld she found herself a prisoner inside of the majestic walls of the palace, her very own golden cage, where she was kept like a treasure guarded by a dragon.

A daughter of the dead, the precious angel of Lord Hades and the Ghost King. Beatriz Alves dos Santos, The Underworld’s Princess.

“Beatriz, you are a demigod.” She wished that it was a joke, a very funny one to say the least, but she saw how serious the satyr in front of her was, she knew that deep down he wasn’t really joking at all. After all, if he is a satyr, and he is right there in front of her very own eyes, then it makes sense that demigods also exist.

Beatriz knew she wasn’t ‘normal’, she was the ‘odd’ one by the labels of society, being autistic and diagnosed with ADHD did not help her case, but her life wasn’t really that bad. She had a very affectionate and hardworking single mother, working as a badass lawyer, she also had her maternal grandparents around to help her mother to raise her and had very good friends that she made from kindergarten that even after high school they were still glued together. So in the end, she wasn’t really alone and was loved dearly by her family, even with her father out of picture.

But she knew that something else wasn’t right, her mother said that she was medium cause she could see ghosts quite frequently, as a kid that really scared her but now, being a seventeen year old teenager, it didn’t bother her like it used to before, however if she is a ‘demigod’, that would explain why she can see spirits in the first place.

“A demigod?” She asked, blinking a couple of times when her train of thoughts were interrupted by the satyr’s awkward cough, Beatriz stood in silence in the armchair processing the information before her attention was brought again.

“Yes, a child of a god or goddess, I have a gut feeling that you came from the Greek Pantheon.” The satyr, called Greg, replied thoughtfully, rubbing his hairy chin with his thin fingers. She couldn’t stop looking deeply at him, contemplating his words. This easily was her most awkward conversation that she ever had, she even took a sip of her bitter mate tea then pressed her lips, painted with her favorite bloody red lipstick, against each other.

Her mother was watching them by afar, she was quiet all the time but attentive, like a hawk observing their prey, Beatriz knew how protective her mother can be at times, she was the very definition of a ‘Momma Bear’, Greg briefly looked at Isabel, whom glared him back intensely, and stared at Beatriz once again when she didn’t respond.

“You may find out if you accept to go to Camp Half-Blood, your mother is made aware of that, but it’s up to you to make this decision, it’s in another country and you will stay there for approximately three months. Like a summer camp, but with quests and other activities.” He frankly continued, this drew her attention and she nervously sank on the armchair, holding her cup of tea rather tightly, the idea of going to another country, staying for months away from home and being involved in quests with monsters? Hell nah, this didn’t sound like a good idea.

“Could you tell me more about this Camp?” It didn’t hurt to ask, even if she wasn’t very comfortable with that idea. Greg nodded, feeling pleased for her curiosity to know more.

“Surely, Beatriz. Like I said, it’s a summer camp, but dedicated to half-divine beings, just like you, it’s meant to protect and train them to eventually one day become heroes of their own, go to divine quests in the name of the Gods and patron parent, this one is for demigods offsprings of the Greek pantheon, like━”

“Zeus? Hera? Poseidon? Hades-” She got interrupted by another cough from Greg, then she quickly apologized for interrupting him. Still he smiled at her, seeing that she was rather familiar with that pantheon.

“You got that right. I see that you are a bit familiar with this.” He said scrubbing his chin, she gave an awkward smile that came with an unexpected response.

“… Hm… I watched a few gameplays of God of War a few months ago.” She admitted, surprising the satyr, he didn’t expect that a girl, with such a feminine and delicate look, liked this type of violent game. Her mother gave a sheepy smile, finding Greg’s facial response, eyes widened in surprise, amusing when her daughter admitted enjoying God of War.

“I see, well, do you have a decision in mind? Would you like to go to Camp Half-Blood?” Finally Greg dropped the bomb, he wasn’t sure if she would say yes, Isabel was hesitant but if Beatriz expressed her desire to go she would eventually let this happen, but Beatriz didn’t seem pleased with that question.

“Uh… I am not sure. I have other plans that might not work if I go.” Beatriz replied, Greg tilted his head to the left side, goat eyes staring at her with a curious glean.

“What kind of plans do you refer to, if you don’t mind if I ask?” He asks with genuine interest, he wasn’t surprised with her hesitance, it is a normal feeling after all, however he had a gut feeling that maybe she wouldn’t accept to go, of course she isn’t forced to but it’s a very dangerous decision that might cost her life if monsters find her, which is a miracle that she is still alive after all those years.

“I wanna go to college.” Beatriz replied shortly, playing with her silver rings on her fingers, she tried to make eye contact but was overwhelmed enough to not do so, she felt she was acting rude and there was a intense struggle from her part trying to formulate interactions or understanding social cues, self-awareness sucked at those moments at well.

“I see, education is indeed very important. I believe that here in Brazil, days off in University are completely different from the US. You might talk to Chiron, the Camp’s counselor, and resolve this matter so you may go without any issue. Do you think it’s better now, you want to give it a chance? If you feel that it’s not your place you can come back here anytime.” Greg said, he genuinely wanted her to go, but if she’s firm in her choice to not to, then he was unable to do anything. Beatriz looked at her mother, who glared back with a soft smile.

For a second, she felt safe, this decision weighed a lot and it was scary but she was more than ready to make this decision for herself. She could finally look eyes with the satyr, making a brief eye contact before breaking it along with her response.

“Well… then I accept it!” She said sighing, Greg smiled satisfied, also glad that she accepted, one less demigod to be killed by monsters. Isabel went towards her child and gave a tight hug, Beatriz could even smell the scent of fresh coffee impregnated in her mother’s fancy clothes.

“Tomorrow I will come pick you up in the morning, you have enough time to pack some of your belongings. When you are ready I will take us to Camp Half-Blood. Till tomorrow.” Greg shook Isabel’s hand and shortly left the house. Mother and daughter were now alone, Isabel was worried about her daughter, she had always been like that, in constant vigilance for her child but she knew that Beatriz was old enough to make her own decisions and handle everything as a responsible young adult she is turning into.

“Baby, are you sure? He said that you can always come back home if you feel that this camp isn’t your place!” Isabel asked, she wanted to hear from Beatriz herself if she was sure, her heart was beating in discomfort, she sure will miss her baby girl during the course of three months, they were really close and had a deep bond as expected of a mother and daughter.

Beatriz felt her mother’s insecurity, she approached her and gave an awkward hug, they stood there in a few seconds, hugging each other, and as they parted ways, Beatriz found herself thinking what kind of adventures she will be inserted into at this Camp, will she be able to finally meet people just like her and perhaps make a friend or two?

She was hopeful that everything will be alright.

After that, she spent the rest of the evening packing her stuff, Beatriz tried her hardest to pack only the necessary things like practical clothing, underwear, hygienic products and multifunctional makeup, although she really doubted that she would really need the latter she wanted to be ready for anything, besides makeup never hurt.

“I hope they have a laundry space..” Bia thought when she finally finished folding everything in a gym bag, big enough for traveling, and left some free space for other things. She paused of what she could put, she doubted that she would have free time to do other ‘not-so-fun’ activities like reading, she loved reading books with her mother even if sometimes she would struggle with her attention spans, she had lots of books about witches and pagan religions and was a Wiccan herself.

After a few minutes sitting down on the bed staring blankly at the bag, she decided to just take one book, even if she wasn’t sure if she’s gonna read it, she will take it anyway. She leaves the bed towards her bookshelf, most of her books were from a single publisher, Darkside. After thinking a lot, she decided to bring a classic horror one, Dracula, and it was the most recent book she and her mother brought home.

Now she could feel satisfied, everything was ready and in order, she looked around her own bedroom, everyone says that if Halloween was a bedroom, it would be hers. With black and white walls, bat themed sheets, Halloween decorations everywhere like fake skulls, some bats in the wall, every single furniture was painted in black and of course, her Monster High collection. She could remember how much fun she and her mother had decorating this room, it has been like this ever since she was 14, for three years she never got tired of it. She will miss being in her little comfort zone, that is her bedroom.

“Is everything okay, sweetie?” Then there was a knock on the door followed by Isabel's worried voice, Beatriz stared at the entrance and nodded towards her mother, she knew that deep down her mother was the anxious one in the room.

“Yeah, I just finished packing.” She responded in a quiet tone, her mother seemed relieved but still, she was insecure about letting her daughter in a Camp and worse, being in another country. Beatriz won’t lie but she was also scared, she considered letting go and staying with her mother, however she knew that her mother wouldn’t want that even if she was in distress.

“Sweetie, are you really sure you want to go? I mean, I will support you no matter what you decide but…” Isabel bit her own lip in hesitance, she didn’t want to admit that she was dead worried, Beatriz can’t blame her though, but she wanted her mother reassured that she will manage fine in the camp.

“Mama, it’s okay, I will be alright.” Beatriz said and her mother quickly opened her arms and hugged her precious daughter. She wished that she could be stronger for her baby daughter.

If she only knew that perhaps it would be the last time she would see her mother.

At the silence of the palace, Beatriz found herself wandering the dark and empty halls, she felt like she was the only resident of this immense place, but she knew she wasn’t by herself, her heart anxiously beaten in a way she could feel the lump in her throat as she silently walked barefoot on the cold floor.

She wanted to find a way out, she truly wanted to, however she knew that her father would notice her absence but she had an excuse in her mind, ‘Oh, silly me, I am just exploring my new home, Father!’ she made a funny face imagining herself saying that bullcrap.

Beatriz wondered what would have happened if she refused to go? Maybe she would be safer? That’s something she questioned herself about, oh perhaps if she didn’t meet him she would be perfectly fine.

“Please be careful.” Isabel pleaded with a smile as she saw her daughter leaving with Greg, who was holding two shining pearls in his right hand. Beatriz turned around and gave one more hug to her mother, who gave her a last kiss on her daughter’s freckled cheeks.

“I will Mama, I love you.” She said and they let go, Beatriz turned around to go towards the satyr that was staring at them the whole time with a tiny smile.

“Are you ready to go?” He asked, hesitantly she nodded and in her hand there was the tiny pearl that was once in his hand. Greg asks her to close her eyes, hold his hand and follow his instructions, she does as he told, closing her eyes and waiting for his next step.

“Allow me to guide us to Camp Half-Blood, please relax your body, Beatriz.” Greg requested and she did exactly what he asked her to do, relaxing her tense body and her bones. “In the count of three, we will throw these pearls right here to take us to our destination. Are you ready?”

Well, she nodded and held it rather tightly, it was the size of a cherry. Without wasting any time, they made the countdown and the pearls hit the ground at the moment they reached zero.

Beatriz felt like she was on a roller coaster, she didn’t dare to open her eyes even if she was really curious, she held Greg’s hand tightly afraid to let go and get lost somehow. After a few moments that felt like minutes, she suddenly felt they were in a different location, she could feel her body warm and could hear sounds of birds chiming and leaves falling down the floor.

“Beatriz, you can open your eyes now.” The satyr said in a gentle tone, her hazel eyes opened up, blinking for a few seconds to adjust to the brightness of the ambience, it was a bright sunny day and they were right in front of the entrance of the Camp Half-Blood.

“Wow…” She let out a surprised gasp, looking around like a kid in the middle of an amusement park, she finally let go of the satyr’s hand and walked a bit, stepping in the fresh green grass, hearing the sound of it was satisfactory.

“Welcome to Camp Half-Blood, Beatriz. Chiron will be here by any moment.” Greg walked towards her with a smile, he was glad that she accepted going to Camp, hoping that she would enjoy her time there.

“Looks like we have another camper, hello Beatriz, welcome.” The sound of horse steps drew her attention, right in front of her eyes there was Chiron, the wise centaur, the counselor of the Camp. He greeted her in a friendly and warm way, the girl just nodded with a tiny awkward smile.

“Thank you…” She replied back, playing with her silver rings, the centaur gestured to her to follow him. As they took a walk, he began to explain to her how the Camp worked, every function, every activities, the quests, everything that she should know as a first time camper and demigod, she observed everything with precaution, her chest a bit heavier with the new responsibilities.

“We come to an end, Beatriz. Do you have any questions?” With this phrase, she was taken back to reality and struggling to make visual contact, she nodded in response. Chiron let out a hum in response, paying attention to whatever question she reserved to ask.

“Actually… I really want to attend college in my home country, but during June and August I will have classes, the only month I can stay here is July. Is it possible that I can only attend Camp for a single month?” This took Chiron by surprise, he thought for a few seconds, it can be dangerous for her to only attend the camp for a month, having little time to prepare herself to fight monsters or go to quests, however he felt how her education meant for her and he couldn’t forbid a demigod to accomplish their studies and academic needs.

“It won’t be easy for you since you will have little time to practice your abilities, but perhaps we can figure this out together, it will depend heavily on your dedication and performance during the activities.” He replied in a comforting tone, his response wasn’t a yes or a no, but it was enough for her, the possibility made her content and she promised herself that she will work extra hard to accomplish it and have time for her future college studies.

However, their tour over the camp wasn’t precisely over, she needed to settle herself in a cabin and obviously she ended up in the most crowded one, the Hermes Cabin. She was briefly introduced to her cabin mates, Beatriz felt terrible and ashamed that she was surrounded with younger kids, who were between ten to fourteen years old. She left her things in the cabin and since she was left alone by Chiron, who needed to attend some divine business.

Walking around the Cabin Area, she felt a bit lost, not knowing where she should go next, they made a complete tour over the Camp area so she knew that she won’t lose herself easily, but she was awkward and timid to approach someone and get acquaintances, until she was spotted by a small crowd, that came towards her.

“Sup, you are a newbie, right?” The muscular girl asked, crossing her arms with a tiny smirk.

“Uh… yeah.” Beatriz replied, still timid. The three guys that were with the muscular girl stared at each other with a big smile.

“Fresh Meat. I’m Chris, son of Hermes, this is my girlfriend, Clarisse, daughter of Ares and these two Connor and Travis, also sons of Hermes.” The Hispanic guy said, introducing himself as Chris, then the muscular girl and a pair of dudes that looked like twins.

“I’m Beatriz…” She introduced herself awkwardly, the two guys smiled and they stepped closer, they looked almost precisely the same to her.

“It’s been a while that we don’t get pretty girls here, right Connor?” Travis purred jokingly, with his arm around her shoulders, bringing her close to him, her face flushed in embarrassment.

“Perhaps you must be a daughter of Aphrodite then.” Connor replied to his brother, getting on Beatriz’s side and giving a peck on her right cheek. She yelped covering her cheeks as the two laughed with her ‘cute’ reaction. Clarisse buffed, making a negative head shake and Chris looked at the two identical brothers with a slight disapproving look.

“Alright you two, that’s enough, leave the poor girl alone.” Chris asked, the two boys made a sad noise and let her go, they stepped away from her but they still made ‘flirting’ faces like blowing kisses and winking at her as they walked away with no explanations. Clarisse gave a short laugh at the situation.

“You are here only for a day and you already have admirers, if you end up being the daughter of Aphrodite I won’t be surprised. Anyway, you got something to do now?” Clarisse asked, walking towards her, with her boyfriend close behind. Beatriz shook her head, she was basically free of any activities for now. “Good, Chris is going to deliver something to the Infirmary that I don’t remember what and I don’t care to know, wanna go with us?”

“Uh… sure.” Beatriz said and in a blink of an eye the couple started to walk, hurriedly she matched their speed and started to walk right behind them. They took only a few minutes to get to the Infirmary grounds, they entered and she was already familiar with the place, but didn’t know anyone there.

“Solace, get your ass over here, we got your stuff.” Clarice called someone, the Brazilian girl stood in silence as someone walked towards them, it was a blond dude, with piercing blue eyes and tanned skin, it seemed like he was glowing like the sun for some reason.

“Thanks, Chris and Clarisse.” The ‘Solace’ guy replied as Chris handed him something that Beatriz couldn’t tell what it was, but suddenly the pair of blue eyes caught the glimpse of her, far away from them, she was resting against the wall. “Oh, hey there! You are new here, right?”

“Y-Yeah. I’m Beatriz…” She replied, he smiled in response and walked towards her, with a sunny smile on his face. When he stood right in front of her, his smile fell a bit when he looked closely at her, this change made Beatriz anxious. “Hey, have we met before? You look a bit familiar to me.”

His question took her by surprise, she got confused, she pretty sure never met him before, he was a complete stranger to her. Beatriz shook her head, after all she didn’t understand why he was asking her this.

“I don’t think so… what’s your name?” She asked and this must shake the Solace guy for a second, since he was distracted looking at her, something in her made him think she was really familiar but he wasn’t sure why.

“My name is Will Solace, I am the son of Apollo.” Will replied awkwardly scratching his golden blond hair, they stood like that in silence for a few seconds. “So… are you liking the Camp?”

“It’s… good.” She said awkwardly, but they were interrupted by someone coughing. They looked back at Clarisse and Chris, who understood the awkwardness and decided to cut it right away.

“So, new girl, we will have Capture the Flag tonight, you are on my team. You better be good at running.” Clarisse smirked, crossing her arms. She really wanted to see how the new girl would perform, knowing that this little game of Camp wasn’t a tame pacific one for a newbie like her. Beatriz only nodded, she was already in a team but she grew anxious since she wasn’t good enough at sports, she was lower than a decent teammate.

But perhaps, that was her chance to make new… ‘friends’? She wasn’t completely sure about this, she had a weird gut feeling but she had to brush it off, having acquaintances would be enough for her.

‘Traitor.’ Beatriz thought in a bitter rage, that son of Apollo was going to pay dearly for cooperating with her kidnapping. He was just as sick like the people that are keeping her in the Underworld, far away from her mother and her real home. She fought against the tears that were forming in her eyes, she wondered why the person she considered a friend collaborated with the people that are hurting her? Did he hate her?

Obviously in the end, it didn’t matter, but the betrayal still hurt her, being a bruise that still hurt, it felt like a stab in her back. She wondered if someone even suspected anything, what lies her kidnappers were telling to the people from Camp? Did someone even miss her?

Now this time the tears couldn’t be held back anymore, her pale cheeks were now wet with the fresh tears coming out of her eyes, she stared at the void with her lips trembling and trying to contain the sobs.

“Bia?” That voice. Beatriz froze up, her watery hazel eyes looking up to see that person, the reason why she was stuck in the Underworld in the first place.

Nico was tired, he just finished some tasks his father asked him to complete in the Underworld, as he got used to it the tasks became easier every time and with that he got quick on finishing them. Today wasn’t different, but for the fact that he used a lot of shadow traveling he was rightfully tired and wanted to lay down, bonus if Will was cuddling with him.

He wasn’t a big fan of people touching him, but his boyfriend was one of the few people that the son of Hades permitted touching. Nico closed his eyes as he felt the shadows circle him while traveling to the Infirmary, where he knew his boyfriend would be. After a matter of seconds, he recognized the ambience that now he was inserted into, it was Infirmary.

But a short scream made him open his eyes in shock, he looked around, getting used to the brightness as he quickly scanned over the room, when his dark eyes froze up when he stared at a specific someone.

Bianca…? But it couldn’t be. His big sister was dead for years, that girl that was staring at him with minor horror wasn’t his sister, but she looked like her. Had the same features, with pale skin with a freckled face, long dark hair and eyes, they were slightly different but the aura, the sensation, was nearly the same!

“Oh, it’s just Nico. Beatriz, this is Nico di Angelo, he’s my boyfriend and he’s son of━”

“Hades. Son of Hades.” Nico cut Will, finishing his introduction. He looked like he saw a freaking ghost, not ironically, the only thing is that ‘Beatriz’ looked older than him, probably having the same biological age if Bianca was alive.

“Uh… hello. I’m Beatriz Alves dos Santos.” The girl said, introducing herself in an awkward manner, Nico’s intense stare was making her uncomfortable but she kept quiet after that.

“Okay, now you guys know each other. Come on, newbie, we have to test your abilities before Capture the Flag. Later Solace and di Angelo.” Clarisse said as she and Chris decided to leave the Infirmary, sensing the weird ambience and they dragged Beatriz along with them, not giving space for her to either protest.

Will and Nico were the only ones in the room, they stared at each as Nico looked like he saw something worse than a monster.

“Neeks, are you alright?” The blond demigod asked with a bit of worry for his boyfriend, Nico’s eyes turned to stare at him.

“Who the fuck is she? Is that a fucking joke?” This question made Will speechless, for one second he didn’t get what he meant, but then he started to connect the dots and then he realized what Nico meant.

Beatriz looked like Bianca, almost like a Doppelganger if there weren't minor differences that could tell them apart. But still, so similar to the point of even Nico thinking that it was his deceased sister.

“How crazy, she… she is your sister’s lookalike.” The son of Apollo hesitated saying this, fearing that it might trigger his boyfriend, but instead Nico kept frozen, staring right at the spot that Beatriz was standing a few minutes ago.

Nico decided to not talk about it, he was on the edge of having a breakdown but he contained himself, his curiosity wanted to make him follow Beatriz and know anything he could about her. He doesn’t know if he was actually going mad or that it was a fever dream, but he will discover what was her deal.

He spent the entire evening watching her, obviously using the shadows to mask his presence from her and everyone else, he observed her like a hawk watching its prey, maybe it could be a monster in disguise, but during all this time, she didn’t presented herself like a threat to anyone, she maintained small, like she was unable to hurt a single fly.

On one hand, he pitied her to be overwhelmed by lot of information about her new life being a demigod, although it remained a mystery who’s her godly parent, even so, he couldn’t let his guard down, he needs to discover who she truly was and why she was testing his sanity by looking like his deceased sister.

When the time of Capture the Flag began, he didn’t participate in it, but watched Beatriz running towards the forest, she was instructed by Clarisse to search for the flag while the others fought to distract the opposing team. She didn’t really want to search by herself but she had no room to argue, it was either this or be scolded.

She didn’t know that, while walking inside the dark forest, she wasn’t entirely by herself, because the son of Hades quietly followed her, watching every step she made. Beatriz was tired and scared but kept walking nonetheless. Nico had no idea for how long he was following her, he got a bit bored doing so however, they both heard some cheering from afar, Beatriz stared at the direction of the cheers, she was lost and confused, not knowing who won.

As she decided to go back, suddenly she heard a loud noise close to her, her heart pounded painfully in panic, Nico got ready to fight and in a blink of an eye, came from the shadows a huge hellhound. Beatriz fell on the floor, whimpering in fear as the creature approached her, stalking her with a hungry stare.

Nico decided to intervene, he couldn’t risk something happening to Beatriz, before he could question his thought he left the shadows he used as a hiding spot and advanced towards the wild hellhound, he had his Stygian Iron sword in his hand. He made a loud noise to distract the hellhound and give the opportunity for Beatriz to escape, however before Nico could make a blow, the creature nudged the attack and quickly threw the son of Hades away with strength, making the latter release his sword that fell on the floor.

Irritated, the hellhound advanced towards Nico, ready to attack. The son of Hades recovered from the blow he received and using the shadows he teleported a bit away, he had no time to get his sword back, and unfortunately for Nico, the hellhound was quicker than usual, he started to invoke the skeleton soldiers to buy him some time to retrieve his sword, but it got harder and harder as the hellhound advanced towards him every time, but never catching him thanks to the shadow travel.

Seeing this, Beatriz had an idea, considering that the hellhound was busy enough trying to catch Nico, she decided to make the favor to catch his sword, she got up and clumsy ran towards the Stygian Iron weapon, as she touched it, she immediately felt an overwhelming sensation, she glowed with a sinister purple aura, coming from the pure black sword.

Nico was getting drained out and the hellhound was ridiculously fast, he was trying to find a way to get his sword back and end this, however as he decided to use his last resort, the hellhound let out a shriek of pain, shocked the son of Hades looked to the beast’s side and his dark eyes bulged at the vision.

Beatriz used the sword to stab the side of the Hellhound, she was glowing just like his sword with purple mist mixed with her dark aura in one. She was using his sword, a fucking Stygian Iron, she was no random demigod. When she withdrew the blade from the beast’s flesh, Nico could see that while she got dirty with its blood, the Hellhound’s soul got sucked out of its body and went directly towards her body, not to his sword.

She captured its soul and she was carrying the stygian iron sword. Beatriz was like in a trance, her eyes dark like shadows, but at the second she blinked it returned to the usual hazel shade. The first thing she saw was the corpse of the beast she just slayed and then Nico, that was staring at her in pure shock, she regained awareness when she noticed she as holding his sword, then in a second she felt a light over her head, it glowed purple and she couldn’t see what it was but Nico could.

It was bident, one of his father’s symbols and it made him open his lips in disbelief, it couldn’t be, it should be a joke but it was the truth.

Beatriz is the daughter of Hades.

Just like him, which made them half-siblings but nonetheless siblings.

Before Nico could speak, Beatriz blacked out, her limp body falling in the grass and she released the sword, thankfully not getting close to her skin. Nico ran towards her, he retrieved his bloodied sword and with the strength he got he held her body, picking her up in bridal style in his arms and walking away, he was still tired but had energy left to walk towards the Camp.

When he arrived there, he was met with curious and fearful glances from the campers, Chiron approached them with a worried glance.

“Nico, what happened-"

“She’s a daughter of Hades… like me.” Nico briefly explained, there wasn’t much to say, it was actually surprising how quickly their father claimed her, did he notice how similar she was to Bianca?

It was a question worthy of asking him later. And it was after this day Beatriz’s life became Hell.

“What are you doing awake?” Nico asked with a serious expression, Beatriz contained herself from rolling her eyes. It was funny that he took his ‘duty’ as her caretaker seriously, like she needed one to begin with.

“I couldn’t sleep.” She replied nonchalantly, it was partially true, she couldn’t properly rest, she desperately wanted to search for a way that she can leave the Underworld.

“Hm…” She heard him grunt, he is suspicious of nature, so he really doubted her intentions. It wasn’t the first time she tried to run away or even rebel against them, take for example her hair, she cut it short as an act of defiance, it hurt him that she acted like a stubborn child towards him, their father and Persephone, who took a liking to her. “Let me take you back to your room.” He said and held her hand, she knew that she had no room to argue.

After a few minutes, they were back at her room, Nico opened the door and guided her inside. Beatriz got back on her bed with Nico at her side, he watched every single movement and when she accommodated herself, he decided to ask.

“Do you want me to sleep with you?” This question wasn’t surprising, they used to nap together, with Nico snuggling against her body and since he was taller, he would cuddle her in her sleep like she was a big sized teddy bear. Beatriz wanted to deny the request, but she thought a little better, if she started to act like she was accepting her new life, perhaps she could have higher chances to flee!

“….ok.” She said with a nod, she could actually see his eyes shining a bit with acceptance, ever since she got in the Underworld she had been denying him those moments of cuddling, he respected it, thinking she was just struggling to adapt herself in her new home, but he missed it and craved for her love and her affection, why can’t she accept that her little brother just wanted what was the best for her?

Nico tried to hide the smile he made, since it was a queen sized bed, it accommodated them very easily, he laid down on her side, respecting her personal space but was close enough.

“Buona notte, Bia.” He murmured and Beatriz just gave a nod and tried to sleep, she knew he was only waiting for her to sleep, she didn’t really want to but eventually, she felt her eyes getting heavier and she just gave up, finally getting a deep sleep.

Her brother would be there to comfort her if she end up having a nightmare, he just want her to accept him, consider him as his real little brother, deep down he knew she wasn’t Bianca, he knows that his big sister is long gone, but having Beatriz around, he learned to love her for who she is, looking like his deceased sister just perhaps added a bonus to his obsession if not the main center of it.

She is safer in the Underworld and he will prove it to her.

To be continue…

[veronimouse]

✨my experience with loa (law of assumption)✨

long narrations ahead

when i was younger, i think i was about 5 years old, i used to tell kids my age and everyone i meet one thing about me when asked to introduce myself. i was like “my name’s maddy!! and im a very lucky girl 😄”

they would be like “aww, god must love you so much” and i always say “no, the moon goddess does” (i’ve always been fascinated with stars and moon, or should i say astrology way before i even knew about it. and u cannot tell me that the moon goddess doesn’t really adores me !!)

some just shrug it off and just smiles at me, but some elders would scold me because that’s disrespectful to “god”.

so back to the real deal, since i used to say and believe that im lucky and everything goes my way, everything actually does.

and when i say im lucky, i really am.

i used to join pageants when i was a kid, and everytime, i always won. either it’s minor awards or major ones.

whenever i want to buy something, and i dont have any more money, i would always believe that i will find cash at home or even outside whatever happens, and i actually find some.

one time i had a fever the night before the school trip, and my mom told me to not go because i wasn’t feeling well. i went to sleep fully expecting to be perfectly fine the next morning, and yeah, i indeed woke up perfectly fine and was able to join the trip.

during Christmas, i always always always get the best gifts at school (we used to do random exchange gifts at school). and im also always unexpectedly winning games, even the ones im not good with.

oh, and don’t forget when there are tests and i didn’t study, more specifically in math because im literally just not that good in it, guess what? i still manage to get passing scores. and when i say i don’t study, i really don’t and just use my “gut feeling” when choosing the answers lmao.

those are just some of my experiences as a certified lucky girl.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙* ˚ .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. ˚ *•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

4 years ago, it was the start of pandemic, i got into shifting, manifestation, astrology, and some other stuff. that’s when i found out about loa.

i was like “isn’t this too easy?” because i’ve been doing it my whole life.

i realized that i’ve been doing loa before i even knew about it (2)

you know what’s crazy? whenever i talk about stuff like this to my friends, they look at me like im having psychosis.

it doesn’t really bother me that much. im just like, okay whatever, you do you.

i actually feel a very strong and deep connection between me and the moon goddess ever since i was a kid, and i feel it deep in my soul.

i even talk to them at night whenever i have the time. it’s like you know even if u can’t physically hear or reach them, you know deep inside that they’re listening and are there for you.

this might be the reason why i don’t have much friends my age in real life, but oh well. i really don’t stress over it that much.

and i know that some of u are atleast gonna say “are you sure you’re lucky? or you’re just really smart and good at everything” type of shit.

and to answer that, yes, i do believe that it’s also because of my hardwork and abilities. but it’s also because of the fact that I ALWAYS BELIEVE IN MYSELF. yes, there also times where im having doubts, but my subconscious knows well that those doubts aren’t enough to ruin my self confidence and the trust i built with myself long ago.

i’m not really that pro when it comes to explaining things, so i hope u got what i wanted to say. happy shifting, my love 🤍