#Halsin's is because of THAT bear scene dialogue

[houndstar]

Yes, I'm a bard.

[apricote]

service top halsin 🫶👌

[nerdallwritey]

Perfect Every Time

Summary: You got up and joined him in the ankle deep water. “Do you want to try right now?” Astarion thought for a moment and clicked his tongue. “I have a better idea, actually.” He gave you a sideways look, his lips quirking up slightly.  “What?” you matched his smile. Rather than answering, Astarion reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.  You furrowed your brow. “Looks an awful lot like you’re preparing to swim.” He started fiddling with the clasps on his pants and groaned in your direction. “Swimming is not the only thing one can do while submerged in water, dearest.” He gave you a sensual smile that sent heat to your cheeks.  OR Before your party travels into the Underdark, you and Astarion catch one last sunrise together.

Pairing: Astarion x f!reader Rating: 18+ Word count: 7.2k CW: smut, reader is new to sex, hand job, piv sex, water sex, dirty talk, mentions of Astarion's past trauma, blood drinking, extra mild angst, soft Astarion, porn with feelings, reader is an idiot (and a bard), so is Astarion (not a bard, just an idiot), Illmater's blood-stained rack Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.), as well as Astarion's plotline Also posted to: AO3 FAIR WARNING: This is PART 4 in my series, "Beauty and the Bard." Find the masterlist here.

a/n: Surprise!! I'm back with a new chapter of Beauty and the Bard! This part is shorter than the other ones (who cheered) because it morphed from a little smut scene into one that deserved its very own part. One million thanks to everyone who's read and enjoyed the series so far, it's so much fun chatting with you guys and hearing your thoughts and it truly means the world that you guys care so much about these goofs. I already have an idea for Part 5, so that will be coming soon, but I have a request to fill first! Thank you all for your patience. In the meantime, please enjoy our regularly scheduled silliness with Astarion and bard!tav :) (Thank you once again to @kermitwazowski for beta reading!) As a reminder, the last part was the Tiefling party!

Taglist: @a66-1, @khaleesiofthewolves, @khywren, @lollipopsandlandmines, @mizuki-nautilus - Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series!

Several days had passed since the hijinxs of the Tiefling party had taken place. By now, the former refugees of the Emerald Grove were well on their way to Baldur’s Gate, the looming threat of goblins and power hungry druids far from their minds, their thoughts instead replaced with hope for new beginnings in the city. 

Just like he’d promised, Halsin had returned the next day to discuss the parasites, officially joining your party of misfits on your journey towards the Shadow Cursed Lands and Moonrise Towers. His calming presence and sage advice was a welcome addition to the group, especially given that this leadership role had been thrust upon you by the others with next to no discussion. Having Halsin around finally felt like there was a responsible adult among you. Not that you all weren’t adults, but you definitely had your… quirks. Sure, Halsin turned into a bear if he let his emotions go unchecked, but Gale was a bomb. 

As for you and Astarion, not much had really changed, you were both still yourselves, but now you openly tortured your companions with more pet names and cheek kisses and obnoxiously loud banter. Lae’zel had threatened to cleave you both in half on multiple occasions, but had yet to follow through on that threat. The others would groan loudly or avert their eyes politely.

Your days with Astarion were spent fighting side-by-side and teasing one another, and your nights were spent chatting and reading together. Aside from the physical intimacy and emotional vulnerability that came with being in a new relationship, it was really as if nothing had changed. And those were small prices to pay for where you currently found yourself: wrapped together with a trancing Astarion.

Ever since the Tiefling party, Astarion would worm his way into your tent at night. Whether he asked permission, or stayed a little too late into the night reading or talking or drinking from you; you would never ask him to leave. You’d slept together every night, sometimes beside each other, and other nights wrapped in each others’ arms. You were allowing Astarion to set the pace, as you were in no rush to get anywhere in particular. You simply enjoyed his company and his magnetic presence. 

The pair of you hadn’t been too intimate since the party, barring stolen and sometimes steamy kisses. That was plenty for you, and Astarion continued checking in to see if you were okay with his touches and advances. Whenever you assured him that you were, he’d smile and return to your lips. You never asked him for more than he was willing to give, and even though you knew he wouldn’t say anything about it, you could tell he appreciated the courtesy despite the smug mask he so often wore.

Now, you found yourself stroking your hands through his hair as he tranced on your bare chest, breathing quietly; a habit he told you he’d picked up to look more alive when prowling the Gate. 

It was funny, honestly, how sweet and unassuming he looked when he wasn’t fully conscious. And yet, you knew the kind of violence and debauchery and bad jokes he enacted and adored when he was awake. A small sound escaped his lips and you paused in caressing his hair to make sure you weren’t waking him. When his breathing returned to normal, you resumed raking your fingers soothingly over his scalp. 

The hour was a little before dawn. Truthfully, you hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, knowing that today was the day your party would pack up camp and make your way into the Underdark for the foreseeable future. You’d re-emerge eventually to find the crèche Lae’zel knew to be nearby, but the Underdark was worth investigating for the sake of further answers about the tadpoles and a possible alternate route into the Shadow Cursed Lands. Plus, Shadowheart was adamant about seeing the rumored temple to Shar hidden down there.

All that to say, you and your companions wouldn’t be seeing the sun for quite a while. The thought saddened you immensely, knowing how much the man trancing on you would miss it terribly. How cruel, you thought, that your adventure was leading Astarion back into the shadows after he’d just gotten a taste of the sun for the first time in centuries. 

“Why are you awake, my darling?” came Astarion’s raspy voice from the dark. He shifted his head to look up at you, his grip around your midsection tightening a bit, his eyes heavy with grogginess.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you admitted. “You should get a little more if you can.”

Astarion chuckled. “Too busy thinking about me to sleep? I wouldn’t blame you.”

You sighed. “And if I was?”

Astarion’s face fell a little. “Why the hells would you allow yourself to lose sleep on my behalf, pet?” His voice was soft and one of his hands unwrapped itself from your body, taking your hand, and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss the back of your fingers. He cleared his throat. “I mean, obviously I can understand why,” he tried deflecting the sweetness that had seeped into his words by injecting his tone with fake bravado.

You let out an amused breath and allowed your hand in his hair to continue petting him gently. “I want to watch the sunrise with you again this morning.”

Astarion hummed. “And that kept you awake?”

“I didn’t want to oversleep.”

Now it was Astarion’s turn to let out an amused breath. “You could have asked. I would have woken you up.”

“No you wouldn’t, you keep letting me sleep in. It’s like you enjoy watching me sleep or something, you creep.” You poked his nose playfully.

“It’s just amazing how much drool someone of your stature can produce.”

You smacked the side of his head and he laughed softly. The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a little while before you decided to speak again.

“This will be the last sunrise we see for a while.”

Astarion let out a long sigh and remained silent. After a moment, he said, “I know.” 

He sounded sad. 

“It’s not forever, though,” you assured, moving your hand to stroke his cheek and regaining his attention.

He chuckled. “I know that, too.”

You yawned, a little more loudly than you meant to. “Good. I promise you’ll see the sun again.”

Astarion tsked. “Honestly, darling, did you get no sleep at all?”

“I got a little,” you lied.

He held your gaze, lifting a skeptical eyebrow. “I don’t believe you.”

“What does it matter?” you asked, caught. “I can handle a little lack of sleep.”

Astarion rolled his eyes and sat up to look at you more directly. “It matters because we need you alert. None of us knows what awaits us in the Underdark and I- we can’t have you getting hurt because you didn’t get enough rest!”

“I’ll be fine,” you assured, bending upwards to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Besides, I’ll have you to protect me when I get sloppy.”

Astarion groaned. “You shouldn’t get sloppy,” he complained. “I swear, if you somehow hold us back down there, I’ll slaughter you myself.”

“Promise?”

He groaned again. “Would you, just once, allow me to threaten you seriously?”

“No,” you patted his cheek lovingly. 

He sighed and pushed some of his mussed hair out of his face. He took your hands in his. “Just… stay vigilant, alright?”

“Can do,” you said, withholding another obvious yawn.

“I saw that.”

“Saw what?”

He shook his head at you and sat up fully, stretching his arms above his head and giving you a clear view of the scar on his back. You sat up and kissed his bare shoulder.

“I’ll be fine,” you repeated.

“Mhm.” Astarion passed you one of his shirts. “Come on, darling, let’s get a move on.” He tossed on a spare shirt and watched you as you pulled his shirt over your head. 

“There’s still a little time before sunrise,” you said.

Astarion snorted and fixed some of your hair that was sticking up from putting on his shirt. “You could stay here if you want. Drown in your own drool. Up to you.”

You huffed at him, making him laugh again.

“Only joking, my love.”

“Sure,” you said, opening the flaps of your tent and crawling out into the blue that preceded dawn.

You went to stand, but felt Astarion’s cool fingers wrap around your wrist and pull you back. He turned you slightly and caught your lips in a kiss, one that wiped away whatever fake ire you had towards him and replaced it with a dopey grin. 

“What was that for?” you asked when he pulled away.

“Delicious,” he breathed, raising a seductive eyebrow. 

You laughed and grabbed his hand. “Come on.”

You’d only been able to catch two more sunrises with Astarion following the one you watched the morning after you’d slept together for the first time. You’d woken up once on your own after Astarion gently shifted himself away from you, and another time when he woke you up purposely, not wanting to be alone with his thoughts. You’d whine and moan whenever he let you sleep in, despite the fact that it was probably for the best to keep you in tip top shape for fighting and recharging your magic. He’d always find his way back to you, and you knew he needed his own space sometimes, but you still loved to watch him bask in the golden light of the morning and you couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed whenever you felt his gentle hand on your back before opening your eyes and seeing that the sun was already up.

Astarion led you through the forest again, his hand holding yours firmly. You knew your way to the ravine lookout by now, but you liked not having to take the lead for once. He helped you across the little stream that led into the clearing where you first laid together and you felt your cheeks flush at the memory.

“I can hear your heart picking up speed, darling.” He turned to smirk at you. “You’re adorable.”

“Pardon me for still being shy,” you half-joked.

“Mmm,” Astarion hummed. “I’ll pound that out of you eventually.” He furrowed his brow sensually at you and you scoffed.

“Shut up.”

“I, of course, don’t have to-”

You made a whiny sound and he laughed.

“I know, my love,” he said, removing his hand from yours and instead wrapping his arm around you to pull you close. “You’ve been so patient for me,” he nipped at your earlobe. “So good.” 

“I’m in no rush,” you reassured on a shaky exhale. 

Astarion made his own whiny sound and pulled you closer, leading you to the cliff’s edge where he’d opened up to you willingly for the first time, just a few days ago.

He sat, pulling you down with him, far enough away from the edge, where he knew you wouldn’t be nervous of falling. In the distance, the sky was just starting to indicate the sun’s arrival. 

You sighed happily and rested your head on his shoulder. You felt him tense a little. “Is this alright?” 

Instead of answering, he leaned his head on top of yours. 

“What’s something you want to do in the Underdark?” you probed.

Astarion groaned. “You don’t need to make small talk with me, darling, sometimes silence is golden.”

You scrunched your nose, knowing he hated pure silence. “I wasn’t being polite, I genuinely wanted to know.”

He groaned again. “Even worse.”

You laughed lightly and felt him laugh too, his arm gently shaking against your own. 

He thought for a moment before he responded. “That Zhentarim fellow we met mentioned a cache of supplies hidden somewhere down there. That might be fun to pillage.”

You laughed. “I’m surprised you ever stopped thinking about that!”

“Oh I didn’t, but I wanted you to think your little thought experiment had actually evoked some sort of… thought… in me.” He made a face.

“Want to try and rephrase that?”

“Not particularly.”

You hummed fondly, taking one of his hands in your own and examining how your fingers slotted together just so. 

“I suppose you want me to ask you the same question?” Astarion asked, clearly not wanting to ask.

You laughed. “Your interest in my interests always astounds me, Astarion.”

He rubbed his cheek against the top of your head. “Get better interests and I might actually want to pay attention.”

“Rude,” you muttered, a smile on your face. “But since you so desperately want to know, I’ll answer anyway.”

“Oh, goodie.”

You thought about it. There wasn’t actually all that much you knew about the Underdark, aside from the few mentions of it in the books you’d read growing up. One thing did stick out in your mind.

“Singing mushrooms.”

“........What?”

“I read somewhere that apparently there are colonies of sentient mushroom people who communicate through song.”

Astarion pulled his head off of yours to hang it in front of himself instead, groaning loudly. “That sounds like a nightmare.”

“It’s not! It’s fascinating!”

“Sentient mushrooms?”

“Yes.”

“That sing?”

“Yes.”

Astarion shook his head. “Am I still asleep? Do you hear yourself?”

“I’m not making it up!” you exclaimed incredulously. When he didn’t say anything else, you crossed your arms in front of yourself. “We’re going to see the mushrooms.”

“Whatever you say, darling.” He kissed the top of your head almost pityingly. 

“You’re an ass,” you said, pulling away from him and sitting back on your forearms. The sky was turning a faint pinkish orange in the distance. You snickered to yourself. “More like Ass-starion.”

The ass in question scowled. “That will not be one of your pet names for me.”

You shrugged. “I’m surprised no one’s called you that before.”

“I’ve been called far worse.” Astarion tilted his head up pompously, as if nothing you could say would hurt him.

“Okay great, so ‘Ass’ is nothing new.”

He sighed heavily. “It’s like you want me to throw you off the cliff.”

“Go ahead,” you challenged, catching his eye mischievously, knowing his threat was empty. 

Astarion looked at you and then towards the horizon. He inhaled deeply and rose to his feet. 

“What are you doing?” you laughed nervously as he approached the cliff’s edge that gave way into the ravine below. 

He peered over the edge, his brow furrowed in deep thought. 

You shifted uncomfortably and sat up completely straight. “Astarion, please be careful, you’re making me nervous.”

He ignored you and walked along the edge, looking past a batch of trees and into the distance to your right. He nodded and turned back towards where you sat.

“Up you go,” Astarion approached you and gestured his thumb upwards, indicating that he wanted you to stand. When he reached you, he helped you to your feet.

“You’re not actually going to throw me off the cliff, are you?” You kept your tone playful, but the anxiety you were masking was obvious.

Astarion smirked. “Stop annoying me and I won’t have to.”

You rolled your eyes and began to follow him as he started walking to the right, down a slanted slope and into a patch of trees. 

“What’s happening?” you asked when you caught up with him.

Astarion tilted his head. “I just thought an occasion such as this needed a change of scenery.”

“‘Occasion?’” you echoed.

He nodded. “It’s my last day in the sun-” he saw you about to protest and quickly added, “-for a little while. Might as well start the day off right.”

You hummed. “Why do I get the sense that you’re up to something?”

Astarion stopped in his tracks, a hand held to his unbeating heart in mock offense. “Me? Up to something? You’re far too paranoid, darling.”

“Uh huh.” You kept walking, but quickly realized you didn’t actually know where you were going. You looked back at Astarion for help and found him watching you. 

He rolled his eyes affectionately. “This way, dear, it’s not much farther.” He walked past you, deeper into the trees, and kept talking. “Did you know that that ravine we’ve been sitting above gives way into what I can only assume is either the Chianthar or the Sea of Swords?”

“I didn’t,” you said. “Though those are two very different bodies of water.”

“Give me a break, my geography lessons occurred well over 200 years ago. And we’re in the gods damn middle of nowhere, might I remind you.”

“Mhm,” you affirmed with a smile. “Go on.”

“Well, it just so happens that that ravine’s mouth isn’t far from our little sunrise spot.”

“‘Our?’” you teased.

“Focus, darling,” he said. He turned to the left, leading you back towards the cliff’s edge that had continued along the treeline.

“Astarion, please be careful,” you called after him, hesitantly following him towards the sound of rushing water. 

He turned back and held out a steadying hand for you as you approached the edge. Not too far below you were narrow rapids that gradually became calmer. The cliff that had been on the other side of the one you currently found yourself on had disappeared, forming a mouth where the ravine did in fact empty into a much larger, much calmer, body of water.

You wrapped your arms around Astarion’s middle to anchor yourself and leaned forward a little to see where the cliff you were on ended. A little farther down, you squinted to adjust your eyes to the dim lighting, and saw a tiny beach that quickly shot upwards into a new cliff. Rocks surrounded the shore, keeping it slightly out of view, and gentle waves lapped at the sand, far enough away from the rapids of the ravine to remain serene.

You caught Astarion’s eye and pointed towards the small patch of sand in the distance. “Is that where we’re going?”

Astarion pursed his lips. “Yes, that would be much easier than jumping in, wouldn’t it?”

You scoffed. “You expected me to jump in from this high up? There could be rocks we can’t see! And we don’t know how deep it is!”

Astarion sighed. “You’re no fun. Though I suppose you’re right, I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” With your arms still around his middle, he started walking back into the trees and down towards the tiny beach. 

You laughed as he dragged you along. “You can’t possibly be serious. You’d get your hair all wet!”

“Nobody said I was going to jump in with you,” he teased.

“I’m not going in alone,” you narrowed your eyes at him. 

“Pity,” he tutted. “I like it when you’re wet.” He smirked and you shoved yourself away from him. 

You picked up your pace to put distance between the two of you. When you didn’t hear his footsteps gaining on you, you decided to quickly slip behind a tree, hoping you’d lost him and that you’d be able to jump out to scare him as he sauntered past.

Unfortunately, nothing but silence greeted you. After a heartbeat or two, you peered around the trunk of your hiding spot but saw no sign of his sleek frame or shock of white hair. You started to second guess yourself; was it possible he’d passed you already? Or that he stopped, out of sight for some reason? 

“You’ll have to do better than that, darling,” came his voice softly next to your ear.

You yelped and clutched at your heart, which raced with surprise. 

Astarion sighed happily. “I do love the sound of your blood pumping.”

“How do you do that?” you asked, breathing deeply to calm yourself. 

“Years of practice.” He paused. “Centuries, even.”

You conceded with a nod. “I shouldn’t have even tried.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. The effort was hardly there, either.”

“Alright,” you rolled your eyes and continued on through the trees down to the beach.

“I mean honestly, have these weeks on the road with me taught you nothing about stealth?”

“I play music for a living. My job is making noise.”

“And I don’t know why I even try at this point.” He raised his eyebrows playfully.

“You like my noise,” you said, sing-songingly. 

“You’re loud, I’ll give you that.”

It was then that you emerged from the trees and onto a grassy dune that sloped downward onto the flat sand below. You slid down the dune with as much grace as you could muster, only falling on your ass once, before taking off your shoes and sinking your toes into the cool sand that made up the shoreline. Astarion followed after you, his long strides keeping him upright and as elegant as ever. He came to stand next to you, taking his own shoes off and placing them neatly beside yours.

You exhaled wistfully and grabbed Astarion’s bicep, leaning your head onto his shoulder. From here, you had a clear view of the sun on the horizon. The sky was a deep shade of pink, giving way to golds and oranges the closer you watched. You looked at Astarion, whose eyes were focused on the sunrise in the distance. 

“What are you thinking about?” you asked quietly.

Astarion looked over at you and blinked. Then he smiled. “Just that it’s truly a wonder you’ve made it this far in life.”

“What?!” you exclaimed, shocked and amused.

You could tell he was holding in a laugh. “You are inept at hiding and fall down sand dunes. What were we thinking when we started following you around Faerûn?”

“I’ll push you into the water, pretty boy.”

“I’d pull you in with me, my love.”

“Touché,” you smiled and released his arm, sitting on the sand. You pulled your legs to your chest and rested your cheek on your knee. Around you, reeds and tall grass swayed in the morning breeze. Astarion remained standing, watching the horizon. 

As much as you enjoyed watching the sunrise, you enjoyed watching Astarion watch it more. The way his attention became transfixed on the sky, the way the vibrant light painted itself onto him like a blank canvas, the way his entire body relaxed when the warmth of the sun finally reached his skin. 

You heard him sigh and watched as he walked forward a little, allowing the tiny waves rolling off the water to rush gently over his toes. He flinched a little in shock and you let out an affectionate breath through your nose.

“Cold?” you asked.

“You know, it’s funny,” Astarion said, his voice a million miles away. “It’s been so long since I’ve been able to move through water like this.”

“What do you mean?” You furrowed your brow. “I’ve seen you in the lake at camp before.”

“I don’t know, I guess I haven’t given it too much thought until now. Normally, I can’t move through running water like this. Don’t ask me why, it’s one of those idiotic vampire laws dictated by some ancient devil with an infuriating sense of humor. I can bathe, sure, but I haven’t been proper swimming since… before.”

You stayed quiet as he moved further into the water, letting the waves wash over his ankles.

“I have to imagine I knew how to swim at one point,” he said quietly.

“I could teach you,” you offered. “I was going to teach Shadowheart at some point too. You’re welcome to join us if you want.”

Astarion snorted. “And look like a fool in front of the cleric? I’ll pass.”

“You don’t need swim lessons to look like a fool,” you clarified. 

“Ha ha,” he said humorlessly. 

You got up and joined him in the ankle deep water. “Do you want to try right now?”

Astarion thought for a moment and clicked his tongue. “I have a better idea, actually.” He gave you a sideways look, his lips quirking up slightly. 

“What?” you matched his smile.

Rather than answering, Astarion reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. 

You furrowed your brow. “Looks an awful lot like you’re preparing to swim.”

He started fiddling with the clasps on his pants and groaned in your direction. “Swimming is not the only thing one can do while submerged in water, dearest.” He gave you a sensual smile that sent heat to your cheeks. 

“Oh,” you said, stiffly watching him undress. “Should I-?” you awkwardly pulled at the collar of his shirt that was currently resting on your shoulders. 

He straightened, naked but for his underwear. He frowned a little. 

“You don’t have to do anything, my love. I just thought we might have some fun while watching the sunrise.”

You bit your bottom lip, thinking it over. “I do like fun.”

“I know that about you.” Astarion walked towards you and reached for the hem of your shirt. “May I?”

You nodded and lifted your arms to help. He took the shirt and tossed it over to where he’d discarded his own clothes. He stepped closer to you, pulling you to him so that you were chest to chest, and nuzzled his nose into the area where your neck met your shoulder. He placed a slow, gentle kiss there that had you inhaling sharply and exhaling unevenly. He groaned with need before pulling back and readjusting to kiss your lips. He came at it with more force than you were expecting, causing you to stumble back a little, but his hands firmly gripped your biceps, keeping you steady. You suppressed a giggle and instead smiled against his mouth before opening up for him and allowing his tongue to meet yours. Astarion hummed with pleasure, moving his mouth against yours and bringing his hands up to tangle in your hair. When he finally pulled away, he left one more chaste kiss against your lips before fully pulling back. 

His eyes were alight with something that morphed into joy when he saw the gooey grin on your face. He rolled his eyes affectionately before looking you up and down and exhaling a laugh.

“You are perfect,” he said, almost in awe.

You smiled. “When?”

Astarion pulled you closer, his eyes narrowing seductively. “Every time.”

You snickered and pulled away from him, a teasing grin plastered on his face. You bent to remove your own pants and watched to see what Astarion would do next. When you saw him reach for his underwear, you averted your eyes and heard him laugh.

“Nothing new over here, darling,” he said, and the soft splashing sounds that followed indicated he’d walked into the water.

“I know,” you replied, embarrassed. You turned back towards him and shrugged. “Habit, I guess.”

“Well, cut it out,” he called, now knee deep in the water. His body was rigid from the temperature, his shoulders rising up to his ears. He turned back to look back at you, still standing on the shore. “Illmater’s blood-stained RACK, this is cold!” 

“I don’t know what you expected,” you called back, hugging your arms to your chest and trying to convince yourself to brave the frigid waters and join him.

“I rather expected you would be in here with me to keep me warm,” he said, turning back towards the sunrise ahead of him.

You quickly pulled off your underwear and started walking into the water, tensing at the cold, but willing yourself to keep going. 

“If you wanted my blood, you could have just asked,” you said when you finally reached him.

“There you are, darling,” Astarion said and grabbed your hand. 

“Hi,” you said softly.

“Brace yourself,” he tipped his head forward a little.

“What?”

Without warning, Astarion lowered himself into the water so that it was just below his shoulders, and pulled you down with him. You hadn’t expected to be yanked so forcefully and unsurprisingly lost your footing. You plunged downward, reaching your free hand out to break your fall and ended up dunking your face below the surface. You were submerged for less than a second, but you came up sputtering and made eye contact with a gleeful vampire. He sucked in his lips to keep from laughing.

“And what was that?” you asked blandly, flicking wet tendrils of hair out of your face.

“Apologies, darling, I didn’t mean for you to get your pretty hair all wet,” he pouted at you and sounded less than sympathetic. 

“Uh huh,” you narrowed your eyes at him. You crawled closer to him, made weightless by the water, and sat beside him, the water level reaching slightly higher on your chest than his. You scooted back a little and dragged your arm out behind you. You pushed it forward quickly, creating a splash that soaked the back of Astarion’s head. He instantly hunched forward and yelped. 

“How dare you?!” he exclaimed, his curls flattening and falling partially into his face. 

“Whoops,” you shrugged. Your eyes widened when you saw him wind his own arm back in retaliation and quickly dunked your head below the surface to avoid his onslaught of water.

When you reemerged, you heard Astarion snicker.

“Look at that,” he said, his tone mocking, “you’re all wet for me.”

You wasted no time in splashing him directly in the face.

“Let’s not do this,” he said flatly, his eyes closed. He brought his hands up to wipe the water off his face, even though his hands were equally wet.

“But now you’re all wet for me,” you teased. 

“I’ll show you what I am,” Astarion growled and took your hand underwater. He pulled you closer and led your hand to his cock, which was already rigid with desire, despite the temperature of the water. 

You made eye contact with him as you started pumping your hand up and down his shaft and he hissed out a breath. 

“Easy, darling,” he said shakily. 

“What’s the matter?” you asked, close to his ear. “Don’t you want to cum while watching the sunrise?”

Astarion groaned and you moved your hand up to swipe your thumb across his tip and then back down to continue pumping. You lifted your weightless body up and swung your leg around so that you were sitting between his legs, facing him head on with the sunrise at your back. 

“I know what would make you even harder,” you cooed, wiping wet hair out of his face with your free hand. Instead of finishing the thought, you tilted your head to the side, offering up your neck to him. 

Astarion’s eyes, half lidded with lust, went wide and looked at you. You nodded to him, and he pulled you closer to his chest, kissing your throat feverishly upon contact. Your hand was still wedged between your legs, twisting around Astarion’s length. He moaned as he nosed along your throat for where your pulse thrummed the strongest.

“Thank you,” he said before sinking his fangs into you. 

You let out a moan of your own, your mouth falling open as goosebumps broke out along your arms. The cold water mixed with the ice in your veins created a delicious mixture of pleasure and pain. The hand pumping Astarion’s length started to slow as you felt yourself focusing instead on the satisfyingly dull thrum that came with him drinking from you. 

“Don’t stop,” he murmured against your skin, kissing your throat and licking a few wayward drops of blood that had escaped before returning to his meal.

You made a noise of affirmation and squeezed his dick before continuing to twist your hand up and down, from base to tip and back down again. 

Astarion whined lamely and dug his nails into your scalp and shoulder, which in turn made you moan wantonly. You rolled your hips, trying to find some relief of your own and ended up brushing your clit against the base of his cock. You both groaned in pleasure and you brought your free hand up to tangle into his hair as you continued rolling your hips. 

“Hah,” Astarion huffed sweetly as he pulled himself away from your throat, his cool breath made warm by your blood. He licked at the wounds he left behind and kissed them gratefully before angling his head to kiss your mouth deeply.

The metallic tang of your blood on his tongue sent a chill through your body and you opened your eyes when you felt Astarion’s hands make their way to your hips. You broke the kiss to give him a curious look. 

He returned your look with a blissed out smirk. “I want you to ride me,” he drawled. 

Your eyes widened and the hand that was still working his cock slowed to a stop. 

He surged forward to kiss you again and moved his hands to your ass, where he lifted your weightless form to position you over his length. 

“Are you sure?” you asked. “I thought I was close to getting you off.”

“You were, sweet girl, but I’d much rather finish inside, if it’s all the same to you.”

Your lips quirked up. “I think we can make that work.”

Taking his cock into your hand again, you guided the head to your entrance before sinking down on him slowly. Astarion’s eyes closed in satisfaction and he tipped his head up to the sky, golden light painting his beautiful face into something ethereal. You sucked in a breath and rested your forehead on his shoulder, taking a second to adjust to this new sensation. You hadn’t ridden him yet, nor had you ever fooled around in water, by yourself or otherwise. 

Astarion kissed your ear before encouraging you: “Use me, my love. You’re deliciously warm.”

You nodded and tested lifting yourself up a little and bringing yourself back down. Your mouth dropped open and you adjusted your legs so you were resting on your knees, making it easier to bob on his dick. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you lifted yourself higher and brought yourself down with more force.

“That’s it,” Astarion cooed, “take your pleasure from me.”

“Touch me,” you whined, rolling your hips and picking up the pace of your bouncing.

“With pleasure,” he bent forward to kiss your neck, bringing his hand down to circle your clit. His other hand came up to squeeze your breast. 

“You make me feel so good,” you sighed, raking your nails over the ridges on his back.

“The feeling is mutual, d-arling,” his voice caught when you brought yourself down on his cock. “And I’m the only one who can make you feel this good,” he grazed his fangs across your collarbone. 

“I don’t know,” you said, your body shuddering with euphoria, “Halsin seems like he could give you a run for your money.”

Astarion raised a disbelieving eyebrow at you.

“Teasing, my love,” you kissed him softly before letting out a loud “Ah!” when he started raising his hips to meet yours.

“Oh really?” he asked, his voice coming out like a growl. “You think Halsin could fuck you as well as I can?”

“Hah,” you half laughed, half moaned. “I think technically, in this position, I’m fucking you?” A lopsided grin graced your lips. “But I don’t know, I’m new to all this.”

“Funny,” Astarion remarked sarcastically and pulled his hand away from your clit, making you whimper in protest. 

“Hey!”

“Take it back.”

“Take what back? I already said I was teasing!”

“Say I’m the only one who can fuck you like this.”

You smiled, panting and still riding him beneath the surface of the water. “Are you jealous or something?”

“Hardly,” he rolled his eyes. “But you’re mine and it wouldn’t kill you to remind yourself of that.”

“Sounds an awful lot like jealousy to me.”

Astarion groaned in what sounded like frustration and pleasure. “Do you want to cum or not?” 

You leaned forward and kissed him deeply, moving your mouth slowly in time with the rhythm of your hips. When you pulled away, a string of saliva connected you to his lower lip. 

“Astarion,” you said softly, “I don’t ever want anyone else to fuck me. Only you. For as long as you’ll have me.”

The smirk on Astarion’s face was smug. “Because?”

You rolled your eyes. “Because I’m yours, you stupid bat.” You kissed him, then whispered conspiratorially, “And I like you the most out of everyone at camp.”

“You flatter me,” Astarion said, immediately returning to his ministrations on your clit. You gasped at the contact, which quickly morphed into a moan of delight as you rested your forehead on his shoulder again. His hips rose to meet yours once more and the moan he let out as a result sounded as if he’d been holding it in for a while. Perhaps it was to sound eloquent during your back and forth, but the noise was music to your ears.

“Am I making you feel good?” you asked a little shyly.

Astarion opened one of his eyes to look at you. “My sweet, you’ve only ever made me feel good.”

“I know that’s not true.”

“It’s not, but it is true about the sex.”

“Thank the gods,” you laughed, though you shut your eyes tightly when Astarion hit a particularly pleasant spot inside you with a roll of his hips. “Whatever you just hit felt heavenly,” you relayed to him.

“Good to know,” he said mischievously, and repositioned you on his lap so he could rise to meet that spot every time you sank down on him. 

“Oh, Astarion,” you sighed, a grin overtaking your features.

“You like that, love?” he nipped at your shoulder. 

“Yes,” you sighed again.

Your bounces on his cock were starting to become sloppy as the knot of your climax began to build low in your stomach. You moved your hand to his and reversed the direction he was currently circling your clit.

“I’m close,” you confessed.

“Thank the gods, so am I,” Astarion’s voice was strained.

You opened your eyes to watch him as he approached his own peak and exhaled dreamily at the sight of him, bathed in the orange glow of the sun which was now halfway risen. 

“You’re so beautiful,” you whispered, “and I like you so much.”

“Don’t make me throw up when I’m trying to cum,” he opened up an eye and smirked at you. “You’re not half bad yourself, gorgeous thing.” He groaned when you sat back down on him forcefully. “Now, would you cum for me already? I’m dying here.”

“Almost there,” you laughed. “And you’re dead already.”

“You’re making this very difficult, darling.”

“Let me help you then,” you said, reaching a hand forward and lightly caressing his balls.

Astarion’s mouth hung open in silent pleasure, his fangs glistening in the emerging sunshine. He watched you wordlessly as you leaned forward.

“You’re so powerful,” you purred next to his ear. “You make me feel so good, and you’re the only one who can fuck me this well. The others will never know how good I feel because I’m yours and I’ll only ever be yours. You’re the only one who will ever be inside of me.”

“That’s right,” he groaned. “Your cunt is mine and I love the way it feels around me. The way it grips me so tight. You filthy thing, letting a vampire take your innocence. I could have killed you and instead I brought you the most pleasure you’ve ever felt. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” you moaned. “Astarion, please. Need to feel your cum in me.”

“You want this cock forever, darling? Prove it. Prove you want it by cumming for me and screaming my name.”

His command brought you to your peak and you wailed out in pure ecstasy. His name fell from your lips like a prayer, over and over, and your cunt gripped him like a vice, as if claiming it for itself. In return, Astarion groaned loudly and spilled inside of you, moaning your name repeatedly and throwing his head back in rapture and delight.

As you came down from your high, you leaned forward to place sloppy kisses on his exposed throat. He brought both his arms around you and pulled you closer as he returned from his climax. 

“You are-” he didn’t finish his sentence before crushing his lips into yours, moaning pathetically and you giggled in response. He bit your bottom lip with his blunt front teeth before releasing it and peppering kisses along your cheeks and jaw. 

“Go on,” you teased, encouraging him to finish his thought.

He looked as if he wanted to argue, but instead gave in and said, “You’re wonderful.”

The words caught you off guard and you bent forward to kiss him in a way that you hoped conveyed your gratitude. 

“I think you’re wonderful, too.”

“Obviously,” Astarion smirked.

You pushed him backwards, causing him to slip and submerge his head fully underwater briefly.

“My hair was just starting to dry, you wretched beast!” he sputtered, looking appalled. 

“Aw, but you’re so pretty like this!” You brushed some wet hair out of his eyes.

“Um, hello? I’m always pretty, darling.”

“Ah, you’re right, how could I forget.” You gingerly lifted yourself off of Astarion and floated yourself to sit beside him, facing the sunrise. 

“Perhaps you’ve had the lovely head of yours hit in battle one too many times.”

“That must be it,” you agreed jokingly, resting your head on his shoulder. 

He leaned his head on top of yours in return. You sighed happily, enjoying the vibrant hues of the sky above, still filled with the euphoria of your high and the presence of the man beside you.

“I really do like you, so much,” you said softly, accompanied by the quiet lapping of the waves on the shore nearby.

“Ugh,” Astarion groaned. “Let’s not get sentimental, darling. After we just had such an excellent time together.”

You laughed. “Pardon me for wanting to express my feelings.”

“You are pardoned.” He gave you a sideways smile. 

“Thank you, Mr. Magistrate.”

“Of course, beloved citizen.”

You both laughed quietly and returned to a pleasant silence. The sun rose steadily up into the sky and you knew you’d have to head back to camp soon to help pack up, but for now, you were content to sit and watch the horizon with your favorite traveling companion. 

“How are you doing that?” Astarion asked, breaking the silence.

“Doing what?”

“Tickling my thighs. Did you cast mage hand or something of the sort?”

You sat up a bit more to look and snorted. 

“Astarion, my love, I think it’s a fish that’s tickling you.”

“Ah,” he said calmly. Then he shot up, flinging you backwards and underwater. When you came up for air, he was rushing towards the shore, barreling through the water.

“At least it had the decency to wait until we were finished!” you called after him.

Astarion ignored you. “Slimy, disgusting, vile creatures!” He shook out his entire body as if he couldn’t rid himself of the sensation.

You watched him with adoration as he muttered to himself about how irredeemable that particular fish was as he pulled on his pants. It was then that you felt your heart swell with something big and alarming.

Oh no.

You were in love with him. 

Fuck!

[autistichalsin]

Two questions because I like hearing your thoughts:

What do you think Halsin's biggest flaw is?

And

Is there anything in his writing that you just don't vibe with / would like to see changed?

So, I am going to put two here for his flaws, just because what I perceive to be Halsin's biggest flaw is something a lot of people don't like being stated as such, because it's an extension of something that can actually be a good thing.

Halsin's biggest overall flaw: he is self-sacrificing to his own detriment, which also results in him brushing off his own pain/trauma. As a result of this, he also has a habit of developing hero-worship for those care for him the way he cares for others, I.E. the player.

Halsin's biggest flaw that can't be seen as an extension of a good trait: He can't control his basal instincts/urges very well. Not only can he not control his bear (the transformation into it and his actions in that shape) very well, but he also has lines in combat that rival the Dark Urge's in bloodlust; "let our enemies' corpses nourish the ground!" "May the carrion birds grow fat on you!"

Things I would change about his writing:

So... Most of the things I would change, I would not because I have a problem with them, but because I'm tired of others complaining about them (I.E. make his flirting banter with SH in act 3 only trigger if you're polymanced, make the Drow orgy start only at your invitation instead of his suggestion, etc). The highest on this list for me is the Minthara ultimatum (which still hasn't been implemented). I would like to see them make Halsin's case stronger; point out the Absolute still hunts him, make it clear how much Minthara triggers his trauma, let him talk more about things that happened to him in the goblin camp because of her- with her continued lack of remorse (she never even as much as says she sympathizes with what happened to the Grove) helping make his case. Also, make it more clear that what happened to the Tieflings was the result of this (because this scene was written to only trigger if the Rite of Thorns happened); show how haunted by their deaths Halsin is. People wrongly think Halsin had no stakes in this argument, when the truth is that they just didn't remind the audience what they were.

For things I actually would want changed... well, I'll put that in two categories, the things that could be changed while keeping the game mostly the same, and then my "pie in the sky" things.

Realistic changes:

-Halsin's post-Drow dialogue is tweaked just a bit more to fix a line from Tav that comes off as condescending, and to clarify some things (did Halsin's captors' house fall out of favor, or were they attacked by a lower house that wanted to unseat them? Halsin says both, but these are two different things in Drow culture). Maybe the house and the house that wiped them out get named, as well.

-While Halsin's act 3 arc was good considering how little time there was, I feel that there needed to be more highlighting his transition from nature-focused to people-focused. We see his anguish at the failures of the city, and the early stages of him dreaming for better, but I wish we could have had more of a bridge to him deciding his commune is the answer. I'd like to see a scene with Halsin adopting Yenna/inviting her to the commune once he starts it, a scene with Halsin's decision to found his commune and inviting the first group of refugees, that sort of thing.

-Make a quick tweak to That infamous party banter that makes it clear chimeras pass the Harkness Test in this setting so that people stop using it as justification to claim Halsin fucked the boar at the Grove (yes this is a thing). Or cut it entirely, I guess.

-Go back to the planned concept where Halsin's scar was in fact from a battle. It being from a shebear doesn't inherently bother me, but I liked the idea of it being a reminder of how badass Halsin is.

-I wish we had more lines reminding us what an amazing healer Halsin is past act 1.

-Fix a few of Halsin's lines so that he sounds as concerned about the Shadow Druids' influence as he should. He brushes them off a bit too easily, especially in the line patch 6 added where you could show him the note sent to Kagha.

-For the love of God, let Halsin get pissed off if you as a Drow Tav/Durge threaten to sell him back into slavery. Make him break up with you on the spot, maybe even leave the party- and if not, lose a huge chunk of approval at least. Players who make Astarion bite Araj rightfully get chewed out- Halsin deserves the same. It doesn't have to be rage, either; it could be hurt, or fear, or some combination of the above. But please, a line that evil deserves something more. They would never pull that on any other character.

Pie in the sky things that would probably never happen but I wish they would:

-After Halsin's Drow confession, we get a chance to suggest to him he might want a turn as a consensual submissive, complete with a sex scene of the player dominating Halsin.

-A scene with Astarion and Halsin bonding over their shared trauma.

-Reintroduce parts of the original concept for the Shadow Curse plot. I don't have to have the Halsin accidentally killing Isobel bit, but I liked the plot with the Promise dagger and him using you as a beacon to find you once he goes in the portal. It was so romance-coded; I'd argue it was even more romantic than Halsin's actual romance plot!

-Let us watch Halsin win over the orphans going to his commune. For pure self-indulgence reasons, make at least one of them a baby.

-A resist scene for Durges. I don't care if it would always be platonic, and yes, go ahead and give Minthara one too. Just please?

-MOST OF ALL, Origin Halsin.

[alpaca-clouds]

Something that will forever amuse me about BG3 is how the game goes: "Monsterfuckers, we gotcha!"

You can fuck a squidman, you can fuck a bear (werebear?), and you can fuck an incubus. Sure, I personally still do not like the last scene because it is so darn rapey, but... It is there. And it is content for the monsterfuckers.

And then there is also the fack that Halsin does confirm in some idle banter with Lae'zel to be himself a monsterfucker.

And... I think I just had a dialogue in the game that confirmed that some githyanki have a thing for fucking their dragons. Because Lae'zel talked to my romanced dragonborn durge and was like: "Don't worry about our dragons, we will reward them with treasure and other things. You have dragonblood as well, I am sure I will find something you'll appreciate too."

And, I mean... What can I say? Like the DnD world generally is just filled with a lot of monsters that will pass the Jack Harkness test in flying colors.

(Note to self: Monsterfucking March writing challenge?)

[lxvebun]

I think we all should be a little more vocal about our love for fanfics, especially towards the authors themselves👁👁, so here's a little rec list♡ if anyone wants to be removed just let me know!🩷

It's quite a small, character specific list because I don't go into the tags that often💀 but i'll try to do this from time to time!

Bg3 and CODMW2

Bg3

Daylight. Halsin x gn!reader @starsofteal

Fr I think this healed something in me. The pacing is really nice and the dialogue is incredibly in character♡ many kisses to the author and halsin

The bear and the fox. Halsin x gn!reader by @amandacanwrite

I already commented on this fic but dudnxbjejx it's so beautifully and vividly written, imagining the scenes in your head becomes super easy and that's always such a nice soothing feeling. Many kisses♡

Call of duty

Scarepark. Ghost x gn!reader by @clairdelunelove

I don't know if I can put it into words better than the picture can. It's such a cute little fic with a nice concept and I need it injected into my veins.

Frosty kisses ghost x gn!reader by @clairdelunelove

From the same writer as the one above but you write Simon ridiculously attractive, angel djdjjx READER BEING HIS FIRST KISS TOO>>>>>>>

Government name VS callsign 141 x gn!reader by @bagofshinyrocks

Price and Simon specifically have me kicking my feet like a schoolgirl im- sjxjnsnx you wrote all of them so fucking sweet it's giving me a toothache🩷🩷 many many kisses to the author.

[vole-mon-amour]

Halsin becoming a companion after EA because people were so thirsty for him?? The bear sex scene at the presentation going viral and probably boosting sales???? Now he’s the most hated guy????? Make it make sense.

It's actually incredibly sad because many people either forget he's at the camp ('too boring, too dull' & i've seen takes on YT community pages like "I forget he's even at the camp". Halsin also leads there as the least likeable companion) or treat him like a joke. Oh but bear scene, haha, so funny.

Man. I agree that they completely rushed his romance and development, they weren't ready for people wanting him to be a companion so badly, and they're not making it easy to know more of his backstory and trauma (how the hell do we learn about his sex slavery by a couple of drow ONLY if we take him with us when romancing Astarion and fucking drow twins? Why is Astarion's trauma out in the open, but with Halsin we need to dig so so deeply?)

At the same time, I don't think people are willing to learn things about him and his struggles? Bear (that he has trouble containing, mind you), big, muscular, dumb and boring. Never take him with them anywhere. Never listen to his opinions. Consider his wisdom and experience as something to disregard completely.

I do think the bear sex scene boosted the sales (i'm one of those people, hi), but his personality either felt flat for those people (???? he's AMAZING. he's open-minded. he's so experienced and non-judgy.) or it was a joke from the beginning as well.

Idk. I'm honestly so tired and upset about this. I wish Larian did a much better job at making him a companion, telling his story and backstory, and at interacting with him and letting him expressing himself and his opinions. It always makes me think back to his pipe and the journal, but how we can never gift him anything, ask about his pipe (or ask about all sorts of things for that matter). Let me truly BE with him, Larian. Let me play AS him since his choices and personality so close to Tav's. (Let me romance him as Astarion, just like it was presented at the con, and have their romance be FULL with unique dialogues and interactions.)

Lastly, I wish more people send feedback on this to Larian. Maybe then something would change for the better.

P.S.: I have a doc where I write more on that & describe more problems and how Larian could improve that. I *think* I sent it to them, but I got no reply whatsoever (when I did the same for Astarion, I did), so I'm not sure. If you'd like to read that, hit me up with your email (my messages are open) & I'll add you to that doc.

[pupmkincake2000]

Some thoughts.

Okay, Halsin, what the hell?

When I was playing Gale origin, I didn't know what lines to choose so I pushed any friendly dialogue button I saw so it felt okay when Halsin offered me to be his lover. Everything I had to do was to refuse his offer. This time (playing Astarion origin) I was extremely careful and didn't choose a single line that could trigger such a dialogur, even friendship ones. I did not ask him about his past (lovers) or whether he has potential partners, I only talked about helping to save Thaniel, but Halsin still offers me a polyamorous relationship and sex! Hinting that he went to Baldur's Gate with us because of... us, right after a fight with Ketheric. With Gale it felt normal because, again, I didn't know what lines to pick. But with Astarion it feels at least strange.

I mean, why? I didn't cross the line when talking to him this time. When I played Gale origin, I wasn't sure what lines would trigger his proposal, but now I've carefully avoided anything undesirable and yet he still offers me sex! God, I do love this bear, he is the walking embodiment of everything I could love in a man, both his appearance and personality is a masterpiece, except for polyamory, because it is not my cup of tea, not in this case at least, but now it is his behavior that makes me feel disapointed in him. And what infuriates me most is the confidence with which he says I also feel attracted to him, although - again! - I carefully avoided any potentially dangerous lines that could trigger his confession. What's going on with this character? So to be just friendly with him is enough to get these scenes?

Since my Astarion is in a relationship with Gale, I decided to look at his (Gale's ) reaction if he was offered such an open relationship. I decided to try different lines and it really made me smile that Gale’s first thought about adding a third person to the relationship was a child.

Also, as I thought, Gale is monogamous in a relationship and is not ready to share. I like that he speaks openly about it and to some extent even with anger that he does not agree to this, in fact, that’s why I like him.

And it was really painful to choose a line about breaking up, even if it was just to see his reaction. I never want to see that pain on his face again. This only lasts a few moments, but his disappointment in love, in the very concept of relationships, is very palpable.

I think that after such a “betrayal” he wouldn't soon decide to open his heart to someone or would not dare at all. I think that's why I like him so much. And that's why I like their relationship with Astarion. Gale is ready to give his all for someone he loves, and Astarion (at least this is very much in his character after so many years of hardship and suffering) will tightly hold on to what he considers his.

Of course, Gale can be persuaded to have sex with the drow twins (I checked this too), but I consider this a flaw on the part of the developers. You may not agree with me, but I think it isn't in his character.

Because a person who so vehemently argued that two lovers should be dedicated only to each other would hardly agree to such a thing. Same story with Astarion. People say he agrees to have sex with the twins once he's completely free of Cazador, but the narrator's words make it abundantly clear that he's still not into it: "his mind is miles away."

And the fact that Gale has to be persuaded… his first reactions tell a lot. This is clearly not in his character too. I would never believe that a person who kicks the cat out of the bedroom while changing clothes would easily agree to such a thing.

Most likely, the opportunity to persuade him to do something like this is necessary for the variability of the game, no more. In addition, Gale leaves his copy in a room that just watches this makingout, he takes no part in it. People might assume, of course, that he shouldn't/cannot have sex because of the orb, but there was nothing stopping him from sleeping with Astarion before they reached Baldur's Gate. However, it seems strange to me that after this he does not break up with Astarion/Tav/whoever or at least discusses the thing. It’s probably still a flaw on the part of the developers, because Gale doesn’t react to the situation at all. And this despite the fact that he only recently screamed about how he categorically does not accept such things.

Therefore, I believe that in order not to mislead people, the developers need to stick to the character's personality as they were intended. If a character is meant to be monogamous, then why do they need lines that suit polyamorous characters only? I understand that the game is variable, but this is not about the plot, but about the characters, whose personality has already been developed and established.

Just saying.

[madlittlecriminal]

Hi hi hi,

Could I request Halsin x Drow reader? ((Preferably male since drows do have this whole social construct where man are less significant and what not, but that's not necessary!))

Everyone in the emerald grove is so hostile towards drow Tav, perhaps that's opportunity for some hurt/comfort?👀

Nature's Blessing ⸙ Halsin × Male!Drow!Reader

Warnings: mentions of male drows position (kinda), rude druids, not real dialogue from the celebration scene

oh god, i just had to ask my bf because he was a drow in my save (we're on act 2 in my save) & i didn't notice it because my tav is a high elf, but since he beat the game fairly quickly, he said that they were mean to him- i feel awful for not noticing it :(

"So we're welcoming drow's now?" You overheard a druid say from afar.

It wasn't the first time you've heard someone say that, but you knew they wouldn't welcome you with open arms even if you did save Halsin from the goblins. Luckily, you and Halsin did get along perfectly and you were actually thankful that he didn't judge you for being a drow. Then again, you met him as a bear, so did he actually have the right to judge you for being a drow?

You didn't fully know him yet, but obviously, you were drawn to him. In your defense, he was huge for an elf as you've only came across elves half his size.

When you finally met Halsin again in the Grove, you overheard a few more murmurs about you and your kind, but you kept your head up in an attempt to hide your pain; words were a powerful thing and some people just didn't understand that. You knew people weren't always fond of drows, but knowing that you were already seen as less than by your kind for being a man was worst.

What you didn't know was that Halsin caught wind of this and when you spoke to him during the celebration, he caught you by surprise.

"Despite what they say, I'll be in your debt. You saved me. If it wasn't for you, who knows what those goblins would've done to me. They had the children literally poking the bear. You could've killed me, but you didn't. Thank you."

You gave him a shy smile. "Just doing what I believe is right. Then again, I saved you and still have the druids wishing I was exiled from the Grove and not welcomed."

"Their words affect you because of your kind, correct?"

You snicker. "Why am I not surprised that the archdruid knew that?"

He shrugs. "I just want you to know there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Do you have any idea how much a blessing you are in the eyes of nature?"

"Those druids and my own kind doesn't seem to think so."

"To me you are." He smiles, his eyes scanning your face with adoration.

"Because I saved you?"

"No. I've met drows before. While my encounter with them wasn't the best, I never would give your kind the cold shoulder. I know everyone is different."

He was right.

He was the only druid who didn't look at you with disgust and hatred unlike the others.

"Just because you're a man, doesn't mean you should think less of yourself either. I wouldn't change anything about you especially since nature took its time with you. You have no idea how perfect you are and I'll be here to tell you every day if that's what you want."

You gave him a small smile. "Thank you."

"May I touch you?"

When you nod, he wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you close to him. "You're perfect." He whispers, causing your smile to widen.

[freyasilverbough]

Act 2 is my favorite part of the game for so many reasons. Spoilers ahead. You’ve been warned.

For one, my bear man rly gets to shine here. This is HIS whole moment, I’m just here for the ride.

For another, it’s spooky, angsty, and emotional. Ketheric is SUCH a well written villain, the entirety of act 2 is leading up to arguably the most epic boss fight in this whole game. From the very beginning, there’s a clear end goal, which puts it in contrast with acts 1 and 3.

Thorm has so many layers. He was a Selûnite-turned-Sharran who eventually betrayed both goddesses and turned to Myrkul because he lost his wife and his daughter. It’s clear from his dialogues and the letters you can find that he loved them both with his whole heart, he wasn’t always a power hungry zealot with world domination on his mind. Everything he does, he did for his family, and as a mother I can’t say I wouldn’t have made different choices in that world.

Freeing Aylin is the most epic cutscene in the whole game for me. I feel like with over 1000 hours combined between console and pc I can say that’s the one scene I will never skip.

I almost always solo romance Halsin because I just love him, and I get why most people focus on the romance scenes (because the act 2 romance scenes are truly phenomenal), but the whole story is just a masterpiece. I’d read a whole book about the shadow curse. Idk I just feel like a lot of it gets overlooked or skipped over because really comparatively there isn’t as much content but it’s just so well done I can’t help but focus most of my roleplay on act 2.

[baldursyourgate]

So, remember this datamined dialogue?

Since "Kagha's foolishness" is mentioned here, I think this dialogue happens when

the grove is sealed.

the player had the bear man rescued from captivity prior.

Minthara is left alive.

Halsin will come to camp and take revenge if you side with the goblins so this most likely happens when you don't intervene on either side (let the grove be sealed, let Minthara raid but don't join her, she WILL attack you if you're at the scene when she found out the grove is sealed) and progress main quest as usual (rest & go to shadow-cursed lands, etc.).

There is no "IMPOSSIBLE" flag for this conversation so there's a chance it might actually be in-game. I've seen someone saying that this scene is not voiced, but I am unable to confirm if this is true or not, so if anyone wants to take a shot trying to get this scene, please do 🖤

Side note since I've gotten asks about this, assuming the grove is sealed in this scenario, the tieflings are probably dead (if the druids didn't get them first then Minthara and her goblins got them, or if they avoid both of that and went to the shadow-cursed lands then it's the curse that gets them).

So this is absolutely not a "good path Minthara recruitment", at best it's neutral. You will miss out on Minthara's romance scene this way, but Wyll and Karlach would not have left the party because you did not personally kill the tieflings.

But of course, no actual in-game test happened (yet), so take it with a grain of salt. Or a whole bottle.

[larena]

Somewhat negative thoughts about Halsin's storyline, mild bg3 spoilers

I really wish Halsin felt like he had anything going on for him other than being a sex object.

Like he has involvement in act 1 obviously and some big act 2 stuff but it's honestly not that much compared to what other characters get. So I never felt like I had a good grasp on what he was all about. When he actually joins the party it feels like literally everything about him centers on sex. Everyone in the party is horny for him, in a way that honestly feels like it verges on OOC sometimes. And most of his dialogue is building up to him asking to fuck. And... I dunno, I just don't care about that or him.

I get that he was added as a party member *because* the fandom were horny for him but it feels like the game goes out of its way to assume everyone WILL be horny for him in a way I don't think it even does for like... Astarion? Or Lae'zel? The two most immediately and outwardly sexual Origin characters.

And honestly unlike them Halsin has nothing to offer but fanservice and it kinda sucks. He feels like one of those BG2 romance mods that "expands" a character but also like... fundamentally warps the writing around the character now being sexually available and desirable and loses everything else.

I guess it was telling that they revealed his inclusion as a companion with the bear sex scene.

[plethomacademia]

5,6,7 for the writing asks? :)

5. Which fic was your personal favourite?

I love the long fic, You have always needed abundant assistance for all the weird places it lets me go and for getting me back into writing in the first place! (It is not abandoned, I am fighting my seasonal depression, I have a draft of the next chapter, I promise to return, it's going to get weirder.) I want to say that out loud before saying my favorite is actually Duet. Duet exists for me and my bullshit need to Darcyfy Enver Gortash and if no one reads it I will be ok. I can reread that modiste scene and kick my lil feets.

6. Was there anything you wrote that was a surprise to you? Why?

Two of these. I did not expect to write anything from Orin's perspective. Then I saw a post about Orin/Dark Urge dynamics on this website and ended up crying in a Starbucks parking lot while thinking about Maeve and Orin being pitted against each other by their shared parent. Then I wrote Orin's Sister in a blur. I do not care if anyone reads it, that one was for me. I have a history of emotionally abusive parents and picking at this has been very healing for me. The second was Intimate Connection! I was never sure if I wanted to include Halsin in with my toxic elf duo. I wasn't sire how he could fit in between their co-dependent wounded nonsense or even why he would want to. Then one day I woke up and posted that I wish someone would write Astarion using the tadpole to feel their partner having sex with Halsin as a way to acclimate to the idea of a threesome.

7. What is your favourite piece of description you wrote? Why do you like it?

Oh no you asked the one I hoped no one would ask because I don't know how to write descriptions. I am a dialogue person first and foremost. If I have to look, I think my favorite is the first time Astarion connects to Maeve with the tadpole while she's getting fucked from behind by Halsin. I of course like that it is very very hot. But I think it also does what I wanted it to do, which was show how enthusiastic Astarion is but also HOW MUCH is going on. He has to take a break after this moment and I wanted it to just be full and overwhelming.

I refuse to uwu this man. At the time period in which I am writing, he has voiced clear desire and consent to reconnect to his sexuality. But I think that's a longer process than they have while they are hurtling towards the end of the game and I want that sense of overwhelm to show every time I write him in his series. But he is going to work on it because he wants to and sadly his emotional support is Maeve. Below the cut for this because it is pornography.

Astarion is not sure who reaches out with their tadpole first this time, him or Maeve, but either way they latch onto each other and then Astarion is in Maeve’s mind, seeing himself from her eyes, seeing how absolutely undone he looks and how obvious his erection is, an obscene jutting in his trousers visible even from a distance. 

Maeve filters nothing, giving Astarion full access to everything she is feeling. He had seen how large Halsin was earlier when he had presto-ed his clothes off, but it is another thing to feel the girth of it inside her, stretching and filling her much smaller body. He can feel the tightness of Halsin’s hands on Maeve’s hips and she brings forth a memory to share with him of the time that the druid’s grip on her hips had turned into the claws of a bear. 

Astarion feels as Halsin takes Maeve’s hair into one of his hands. He knows from experience that Maeve loves to be taken roughly and, above everything else, she loves to have her hair pulled while being fucked. It helps her work out stress, it helps her remember that her body belongs to her and no one else. When Halsin pulls her hair, Astarion can tell it’s not enough and he finds himself saying “Harder” at the same time that Maeve does. Halsin obliges them both, pulling her hair enough that her head is tugged back at an angle and Astarion feels the pleasure of it, the tingling pain from her scalp running down her spine straight to her cunt. 

He sees himself in Maeve’s eyes at the same time that he sees Maeve through his own, feels Halsin’s cock inside her at the same time that he feels his own cock straining against his pants placket. He hears Maeve’s loud cry from both her and his ears and can feel how close she is to coming. Then Maeve begins to imagine things, brings forth fantasies that she wants to share with him. 

[infernally-fond]

I keep getting these tragic/beautiful edits of fuckin' Dark Souls on tiktok, and one of them left me with an itch to sketch out a post-BG3 moment in Cania for Pallas. It's poncy and reads like I've been listening to FromSoftware character dialogue on loop because I have.

Raph is only mentioned, so I'm a little hesitant to tag this with him. So, fair warning, his presence is minimal.

——-

Deep below the citadel, on off hours, one could see the condemned souls unwinding from the miserable toil of mining deeper still into the frozen depths. 

Their overseers, a set of fearsome pit fiends with whips of hellfire, had returned to the surface the precise moment their shifts ended. Whatever hunger stirred in them for the wails at the end of a cracked whip did not outcompete the drudgery of supervising such work. And so, the souls too rested. 

Mephistopheles' paranoia did not yet extend to the souls of laborers. Unaware of it though they were, the laborers spent every night with an unparalleled freedom to coexist in each other’s company. 

Pallas visited the Mepistarian mines with some regularity, long since familiar with the mineshaft that lead down into the excavation. She was cloaked in old furs that shimmered behind a gauze-thin aura of hellfire to endure the cold. Hellfire burned a cold white, casting inhospitable starkness into the ice. Without it, there would be no light at all. 

The laborers had no use for fire - no need for warmth, no need for light. 

Pallas gingerly lowered to sit some thirty paces from the bulk of their resting forms, pulling her knees to her chest and watching them with a gentle curiosity.

Mortal souls were fascinating things - perhaps more similar to the recently subdued illithid hivemind than living mortals. They shimmered in cool colors, something like tarnished copper. The newer souls held their shapes better, more consistently. They squabbled amongst each other, occasionally finding the energy to physically fight when free of the fiends’ supervision.

Something seemed to happen over time to change the souls condemned to the sub-city mines. Whatever manner of cruelty resided in the souls lured to the Cold Lord’s promises, sunless centuries immersed in the presence of each other would buffet them into something almost lovely. A strange descriptor, but…

Those with the longest tenure drew softer figures, edges implied and often shifting - a reimagining of self. They would hold form enough to work when the overseers lashed at them with hellfire, but when resting they softened once more, eager to drop a mask of burdensome solidity.

Pallas had seen a litter of pups outside Baldur's Gate, warm and round-bellied, curled up between each other that reminded her of the scene ahead. 

The fraying souls mingled in affectionate twirls together. Not quite a pile - it was more elegant, more artful than that. Like a lazy dance, perhaps. Like watching wind slowly direct a smattering of leaves into a loose coil, always just on the edge of dispersing. 

They spoke to each other in voices unconcerned with identity. Vaguely feminine or masculine, vaguely old or young, some swinging between affectation mid-word. 

Shifting voices murmured gently to each other, twined into one thing, issuing benedictions of "be safe" to each other, to itself - this one thing they made. It was foreign to bear witness to such softness in this or any plane. 

Impressions of hands stroked impressions of temples; a pair of arms curled over what seemed, for a moment, the soft curves of shoulders.

Watching with a waning focus, Pallas wondered if the truer nature of mortality was before her, if some profound distinction would be easily parsed from the visual by someone wise. Halsin might have commented on the connectedness that underlies everything. Gale might have speculated on the specifics of the merging. ("How many arms do you count? I've spotted at least s- oh, seven now.")

Maybe her companions’ echoes of presence had left impressions like a microcosm of the merging before her well within her own mind. An imagined insistence for safety, received and given in an even cadence. 

"Do stay safe."

The voice, impossible to categorize on any spectrum of mortal description spoke just beside her shoulder. Startling as the proximity should have been, she felt the words as if they were gentle touches down the crown of her head. 

Pallas parroted the words clumsily, strangely certain this was what was appropriate. 

The spirit, softened at the edges, almost transitory across moments, affected some quality that implied an emotional warmth. It suffused the rigid boundary of self asserted by her living soul. It settled at her side, unmoving, at ease.

The murmuring dance of souls before her synchronized in a song with such precision as to suggest the presence of a conductor. The singing was always lovely. It's what drew her down here time and again.

No one voice was particularly ethereal - it wasn’t a bard’s talent on display. It was connectedness. Each of the component souls sung in a series of dearly remembered voices simultaneously. To hear it was to bear witness to choruses of families - blood and chosen - across time. 

The Canian fiends didn’t sing like this. They sang, of course- but their hymns were demonstrations of technical mastery of the performer, written to exalt the domineering qualities of the subject. The High Cantor’s voice was clear and clarifying as ice cold water, impossible to replicate, objectively beautiful. But, even so, hymns for the Cold Lord’s pleasure were sterile accolades.

Impossibly different (better - an inner voice whispered) were the twining chorus of treasured voices lacing together into something that would wring tears from any mortal to hear it. 

A curl of satisfaction tightened in her chest. Pallas privately enjoyed finding pride in the distinction between herself and the fiends around her. Maybe the cambions, vicious as their treatment had primed them to be, mourned the wrong loss. 

“We’re unlike them,” Pallas whispered resolutely, chasing the bitter joy of her conclusion as she proudly overlooked the twining selves performance. “They’re repressed shells. They live devoid of beauty outside of pointless, showy intricacy. They don’t even sing properly.”

The form before her smiled without a face to do so. It knocked gently against her shoulder with an impression of a humanoid form, unbothered by the thin veil of hellfire. When they touched she felt its fondness expressed in something akin to temperature.  

“Everything that sings, sings properly,” the soul chided, smoothing over each spike of irritability expressed in the flicker of hellfire with more of that fond warmth.

Pallas accepted the correction silently, never moving her eyes from the ongoing dance. The true danger of this place was combating the compulsion to fall asleep to the gentle chorus. Skilled as she was, Pallas couldn’t maintain the hellfire through sleep. 

Perhaps to fight off the sleep or dismiss another burgeoning wave of formless yearning, Pallas pondered the High Cantor’s songs once more. Perhaps they weren’t all militant ballads. And then, there was Raphael, of course. He -

She shook her head as if to physically dislodge the thought. Still, a fragment of memory flashed- his distinctive, idle humming just under his breath as he shifted papers in his exorbitant lodgings in Wyrmm’s Crossing. Casual, improvised. (Unfit.)

Pallas wondered how such a thing could be branded into her hindbrain, as immediately recognizable as the pull of hellfire. And then hadn't she seen him bent over a journal, consumed with intensity, quill flicking so quickly as to render the penmanship unsalvageable?

That didn't make sense. It dashed across the distinction Raphael himself would assert-

“Be safe, friend.”

The formless soul beside her lengthened in shape, as if to mimic rising to a stand. She leaned into the parting wash of fond warmth before it parted from her to join with the others, a new chorus of voices added to the song. Among the additions, it weaved in the recalled fragment of that absent hum, forever integrating some distant shadow of Raphael with the formless inertia of whatever this tangle of mortal souls had become.

[autistichalsin]

Comparing the dialogue for Halsin's "abducted in the sewers" Orin scene vs Gale's, Lae'zel's, and Minthara's, I noticed two things:

The story given for Halsin is EASILY the most upsetting. Minthara and Lae'zel are vaguely tortured and Minthara says she'll pledge herself to Bhaal, Gale alludes to being castrated... Halsin alludes to being forced to murder and eat children while in bear form. It's no contest.

Similarly, out of all the companions, Orin is the most openly cruel and obviously degrading to Halsin. Minthara gets some insults, yes, but not like Halsin; Lae'zel and Gale get sort of generic taunts from her, and in fact, Orin even mock-scolds the player for "abandoning" Gale when the player takes the option to flee, and for Lae'zel she scolds the player's cowardice. On the other hand, Orin calls Halsin multiple variations of "beast"- a "rabid beast", a "dumb beast", a "beast with a belly full of orphan flesh."

This is interesting to me because you would expect that level of contempt for Minthara, who Orin had history with and enjoyed playing mind games on; there's no reason for her to be this personal to Halsin in particular above the others.

Does she have a particular disdain for Druids? Is she angry Halsin broke the Shadow Curse? ... Is it the game itself once again being far more cruel to Halsin than the other characters?

[alpaca-clouds]

Werebear Halsin

I know this theory is not exactly new. But I still gotta say: It is intended reading that Halsin is a werebear, isn't it? Because, I mean, reading through the Forgotten Realms Wikipage on Werebears...

Werebear humanoid forms were often large, heavily muscled, and covered in hair.

Halsin. An elf build like a brickhouse, which very much is not typical for elves. Also, Halsin, who has body hair. Something that elves very much do not have - and Larian is aware of the fact, given that they (thankfully) changed Cazador's design between EA and Full Release because of it.

It is especially the latter point that is so clear. I mean, while elves are usually of a smaller, thinner build, nothing in lore says that you cannot have a brickhouse elf. But lore is very clear on the fact that elves do not have body hair.

So... There has to be a reason for that, right?

They saw themselves as the guardians standing between the natural world and civilization.

I mean, nothing much to say here. But this one also checks out with Halsin. It checks out quite well, in fact. It would also kind of explain why he gets to antsy in the big city. Like, druids in general tend to not love big cities, but Halsin really seems to hate it, right?

Werebears were mostly likely to become rangers, druids or wildlife priests.

Again, yeah. He is a druid, so it checks out.

And then there is of course the game, which implies several times that Halsin in his bear form is a lot more savage. (See how he speaks in the goblin camp - but also during the Romance Scene.) And more notably: He also clearly says that at times he cannot help but transform into the bear form. And that one is to me the dead giveaway.

Because I have not yet heard of a druid, who could not control their wildshape in that way. Are there canonical druids who prefer running around in one or another wildshape form? Absolutely. Are there canonical druids who got stuck in wildshape? Yes. But druids, who have this one wildshape that wants to take over and tries to make them transform? No. That is just not a thing, as far as I am aware.

Now, this leaves open quite a few questions of course. On one hand I do wonder, why there is no dialogue on it. Because... the evidence for it is so clear that I just cannot think of another reason for those things to be there. But he never talks about it, really. Not even if you romance him. Which is sad.

Then there is also the question why he has decided to still live among people, while werebears are usually quite solitary. Though I would argue that is just the person he is.

Of course, there also is the question on whether he was bitten, or whether he was born a werebear. Which... You know, it could be either way. Personally I would go with the headcanon that he was in fact born a werebear. Even though that makes another heartbreaking thing true: Werebear moms usually leave their young when they are around 8 years old and can (at least in bear form) fend for themselves. Which would explain why the matter of his family is always evaded.

I personally do assume that he does not talk about it, because a lot of people are prejudiced against shapechangers, and especially lycanthropes. And the druid stuff gives him the perfect cover. "Oh, no, I am not a werebear. I am just a druid who wildshapes. I just so happen to prefer wildshaping into a bear 99% of the time." And while I assume that osme of the other druids will have put two and two together, nobody ever calls him out on it? I don't know.

But it also makes for some good basis for a few angsty stories. Especially given the implied lack of self-control, he struggles with from time to time, and also just... the stuff he probably had to struggle with while growing up. (And yes, I wrote about his mother leaving him early in this story.) Really, we should all realize the full potential of Halsin-Angst!