#Having a friend with similar insecurities can actually be really healing because they understand and won’t judge and you can help eachother

[antiquepearlss]

I’m thinking about how Varian likely had no friends before he met Rapunzel which led to him latching onto her and his relationship with her being slightly one sidedly codependent, which made her betrayal all the more painful. I’m thinking about how after he is redeemed he latched onto her even more because she’s practically his savior and his only friend. He only wants to be around her, he places his self worth on her feelings of him, he overthinks every interaction, he is devastated when she doesn’t give him attention, and he is heartbroken when he realizes he’s not her closest friend, when she is his.

[carmenserenity123456]

Hi Carmenserenity! I really love your blog and enjoy reading every post you upload onto your blog. If you don't mind , could you answer three questions that I want to ask you .

I've noticed some SNS fans have some sort of liking to sakura. which is rare. Even on Tumblr , major SNS meta blogs have some sort of liking to her. It's either of these two various reasons I noticed why they don't directly dislike Sakura. 1) Whatever good moments she has (e.g. Her trying to understand sai or her wanting to disqualify herself so that Naruto could achieve his dream. Those reasons sound like pitying to me. And 2) They just pity her. I respect their opinions even though I don't agree with them. Though sakura is highly disliked for every single bad thing she does in the manga , there just happen to be very few good moments of her. Some of these arguments I see from SNS fans.

Does Sakura have any good moments throughout the entire manga?

Did Sakura actually learn her lesson after she insulted Naruto for being an orphan?

Did Sakura actually try and confess to Naruto and try to kill Sasuke just so that Naruto wouldn't feel the burden of trying to rescue Sasuke?

I highly doubt number two has any positive answer. I hope you answer these. Have a nice day and may God Bless You :).

Hi, thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot to me! Before I answer these three questions I want to touch upon the topic of people pitying her and feeling sorry for her. I really cannot understand why they would feel such thing. I only pity Sakura when she was bullied as a small child because it is a very bad thing to bully a child based on their appearance but other than that Sakura showed us her terrible personality. She started to like Sasuke because he was handsome boy from Uchiha clan. She forced her feelings on him even though he was always clear that he is not interested but she still went all the way to get him. She wanted him for selfish reasons which is self worth. She would basically feel better than everyone else because she got him. She is this type of person who is deep down very insecure but also displays traits of a narcissist. She thinks that only she deserves him and the status that comes with it. She broke her friendship with Ino, a girl who helped her even when they were not friends anymore, because of her selfish love for Sasuke. She used many people, mostly Naruto, to get to him because she could not do it herself. A normal person would stop and think 'hey Sasuke clearly shows signs that he does not like me and I can see how deep his bond is with Naruto' but nope, Sakura could not do it. Throughout the whole story she thought that Naruto was doing this for her and she was offended when she learned the truth. Look how selfish it is for her to use a boy that supposedly has a crush on you to get another man. I do not feel sorry for her at all! No one forced her to do any of these things and also even though she is a bad person everyone would dance around her expect Sai and Sasuke. No one ever told her that her behaviour is selfish and self absorbed. Kakashi literally forced her feelings on Sasuke. He did it only because she is a woman with a lot of privileges. In the end she got her dream boy and lives in this delusional marriage. She is okay with it and even happy. She does not contact Naruto and Kakashi. She sometimes talks to Ino. That is why I will always say that she is the realest character in this manga. In our real world such people as her have it always easy and in the end get what they want. Just simply unfair but that's our world.

Coming to the questions, the first one Sakura has very few good moments. The only good moments I could think about is saving Naruto's life in the war and healing Karin. This were genuine moments from her. I do not count caring about Sasuke because as we established her love is shallow and selfish especially when there is other teammate in your team. This is similar situation to Hinata's when she wanted to give Naruto some type of medical cream but not Kiba who was injured. The second one, she did not call him an orphan anymore but she still treated him badly. She would punch him for minor things and screamed at him. Not very girly huh? Some people say but this is Shonen and it was a comedic relief but they forget that Kishi is an author that always gives context to such situations. Sakura was always jealous of Naruto because he was a threat to Sasuke's love. That is why she would behave like that towards him. If something did not go her way she would be pretentious, manipulative and offended. After Naruto's first fight with Sasuke he was beaten up and she could have shown some compassion towards him but the only thing she did was being disappointed.

The last question, she confessed not because she wanted to get burden from Naruto but she did it because Sai confronted her about how much pressure she puts on Naruto and how big of a burden he carries. She did not even think about this before but when finally someone pointed this out she started to cry because this is the only thing that she is good at. As always making herself also a victim. If she really cared about Naruto she would not fake confessed to him. This is one of the lowest things that she did not to mention that she bragged about Sasuke in her confession. Everyone around, even Kakashi, were like 'wtf are you doing?' She could not even notice that she was doing more harm than good and of course the pink queen had to feel offended when Naruto told her that the promise was never about her. She dropped her fake persona instantly and turned away. What a trash! She would never kill Sasuke, she put a whole act to make herself better in everyone's eyes but when it came to the real confrontation she could not do it. She is just plain stupid and she had to be rescued again. She would never kill him because it is her dream boy. I would even bet if he reciprocated her feelings while being in darkness she would go with him. She wanted to do it when she was 12 years old so what would stop her when she was older. She did not get any smarter, she would go with him. The fact that she instantly became a puppy when he grabbed her and wanted to kill her is an answer in itself.

[linktoo-doodles]

Although the core of tntduo is based around their inability to be on the same side of one another despite their similarities, do you think conflict with discduo could have brought them together? I know Wilbur’s jealousy around Tommy and who can and can’t “protect him” is a major roadblock for a lot of his insecurities, but if it was properly addressed along side Q’s tendency to build walls with people that make him vulnerable, do you think there could’ve been a major shift that brought not only them but the entire ensemble back into a healing mess of a community ? (I’m a bit of a sucker for hopeful narratives if this question isn’t obvious and Tommy’s whole character being a symbol of hope really drives this concept but I’d love to hear what you think!)

Or I guess in short; What would’ve had to happen if tntduo were to actually end up working together and potentially mending their fucked up relationship?

yeah! I wish they worked together at least once. Something corny and just working together to help defeat cDream at the very end feels right. To actually tie off their arcs though, not quite because cQuackity seems like someone who would reestablish trust and bonds that are with other people first, lack of trust was not really a theme with tntduo.

In my idea of the ending the moment, after setting things straight with the original L'manburg crew, Wilbur would still leave. After apologizing to Tommy and giving themselves space. I think spiritually it's a representative of Wilbur's YCGMA album song "I'm sorry Boris".

I think Wilbur should have stayed until Dream was no longer an active threat to Tommy, and then left... maybe one day to return, or one day people come to him in his new life to start things again.

And (lmfao I feel like a tntduo traitor here) imo tntduo was never really like... "meant" for each other at least romantically. I think they'd work out their feelings, they'd be on their way to become good friends again. They'd remember quiet moments of solidarity, of them understanding the other, but they'd end up just staying friends in the end. I don't think tntduo would ever be a domestic couple happily ever after because at the end of the day, the chase was what was fun about their dynamic. They seem to be people that wouldn't end up Being Together in the long run.

Healing can come with realizing youre not good for someone romantically tbh, and it's what I see for tntduo. I'll forever mourn for the fact the L'manberg crew was never able to heal and move on.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

(The “I think we should be meaner” is kind of an internet/meme phrase but your response is fantastic. I do just hate the passivity he is given by this fandom at times but he is also irrelevant as a person so it’s a catch 22 in discussing him)

thank you for explaining it to me, clearly i am too old for the internet now 😂 can you tell tumblr is pretty much the only space I stay in lol.

The free pass he's given in some circumstances really is a catch-22 because like I said, I have no desire to discuss him as a person-- and I don't mean that in a callous way, I genuinely mean it as in, I hope he has the life and career he wants and I won't stand for insulting him personally on those respects. (And again, it's not that I care about him-- I mean it in that I do not follow him at all, and didn't even before he and Taylor broke up, so as a person I am treating him with the same respect I would anyone else.) And I hope there comes a day when, as a person, the fandom can just ignore him. (And again, I'm not saying that in a callous way, I'm saying this in a way meaning: these two have not been in each other's lives for years now and never will be, hopefully the fans can move on as much as they both have. Quit stalking him now, unless idk he ever does a tell-all, which I doubt.)

BUT, the flip side of deeming him "irrelevant" (which he is in the sense of again, neither of them are part of each other's lives anymore) is that there are certain factions who chalk up the whole experience as "who cares" or not important, whereas I think it's very obvious it was deeply important and life-changing , and the consequences of the actions taken left deep wounds that took a lot of work to heal from. And I also acknowledge that I have personal bias because I have a few friends who went through eerily similar experiences with eerily similar fallout, so I see the dismissal of it all as dismissal for the ways women in general are often treated by men in relationships. The resentment, the belittling, the dismissal of pain, the catering to the men's insecurities to keep the peace in the home, even dealing with vices, it's so common, and so deeply pervasive that in a lot of circles I think it's almost seen as "normal" and that drives me crazy because it's so insidious and SO damaging. Which, again, is why TTPD is the ultimate thirtysomething and ultimate (millenial?) womanhood album.

So that's why publicly, I try to tread carefully by sticking largely to the music and available info and filling in the lines that way and bring it back to those themes, vs. actually going after the person themselves. It's not a perfect method by any means, but it's trying to strike a balance between addressing these really important, heavy subjects that are essential to understanding the art and imo even Taylor as a person, while also trying to be mindful that as fans and consumers of said art we only ever "see" a tiny part of the story, and we don't know any of these people in real life. Obviously, as a fan of Taylor's and with her being far more famous, I feel like I "know" her experience better, and I acknowledge that "bias," but I also don't think it's wrong lol.

[jimmyscanongf]

i honestly i relate with Jimmy about not wanting to be better, mainly because the bad about myself is what all i knew in my whole life changing that sounds so scary to me it feels like i am not me anymore (sure i wouldn't do the heinous stuff he did, but his mindset is relatable)the bad just feels like a apart of my personality, and it is comfortable, live in bad even though it'll hurt me in the end, at least i can feel like myself, not a failure or somebody else, i want people to love me the way i am.. but that is impossible.. because no one would love someone bad as i.

Anyways sorry for the rant, i just feel for Jimmy Despite all the bad stuff he did :(

This anon is also gibberish please ignore this if you wish!!!

Anon, I absolutely get where you're coming from...

I've been questioning recently the way my trauma has affected and changed me and honestly I really relate to the way pwNPD describe their experiences and I really relate to Jimmy and the way he is shown to express these traits. There's a lot I could say but my brain's a bit all over the place rn though I will point to one moment in particular: his absolute crashout at Curly's party. It's one of the biggest moments people point to when describing what a horrible piece of shit he is and I mean, no arguing that it was a really awful, self-centred way to react to react to the news of their termination and at his best friend's birthday party no less but... I really understand him. Like, I do. Because beneath the barbed insults and turning Curly's feelings and insecurities that he confided in Jimmy into a cudgel to beat him with, I feel, is a genuine feeling of betrayal and despair at the idea of not being enough not being good enough or worth enough, even though it's not about him and it's not even remotely Curly's fault... But it has to be Curly's fault because if it isn't Curly's fault than it's Jimmy's for being so lowly and worthless as to be left behind. Just one of those things where it's impossible to see any nuance from his point of view, everything is related to him in terms of black and white.

And I really feel like the past year and a half I've been working through these feelings in a kind of similar situation, where I really needed someone irl to be there for me but they left me behind for someone else. And though I was never quite so outwardly nasty as Jimmy was, I still dealt (and honestly, deal, present tense, though less often) with these really rageful hateful feelings of complete betrayal towards someone who has been in my life for a really long time. This person. really has a lot more drive and general success in life than I do despite us both growing up in difficult circumstances. And it really was this feeling of like oh, a decade of friendship and I'm not fucking good enough, not worth enough, not successful enough for you to help me when I really really really need it but you'll dump monumental resources into being with this other person you've known for a fraction of the time, huh? "On to bigger and better, yeah? Leave the dirt behind now that your boots are clean." And though I know intellectually it's not about me it feels like... it is, because if I were good enough, if I were as important to this person as they were to me I wouldn't have had to claw my way out alone just to fall back into the cesspit i escaped less than a year later.

I feel like... idk, I am committed to changing and healing in a way, somehow, i want to be a healthier person, but it is hard for all those reasons, when it's all you've ever known how to be, you know. It's also really hard to actually admit that you've been a messy dysfunctional bitch enacting harmful behaviours, even though admitting that is an integral part of not being that person anymore. And yeah. there is this sense that like. all you want in the whole world is just to be loved for who you are and you've already contorted yourself into so many unnatural shapes trying to achieve that and came out the other end really fucked up and unhealthy and offputting and now you're telling me i have to change AGAIN?!?! like, fuck that

One thing I find interesting is how I got into mouthwashing right around the time I also started exploring Internal Family Systems therapy, the whole point of which essentially is that there are actually no bad parts of you, even the parts that cause dysfunction in our lives, even the parts that have caused us to enact grievous hurt on others... because theyre all born from moments we had to endure and survive and protect ourselves from as we developed. and it's actually in entering into dialogue with these parts and acknowledging them with compassion that we can release them of their dysfunctional protection mechanisms. And I feel like it slots in nicely with this idea of "Our worst moments don't make us monsters" which to me is one of the central theses of the game. Our worst moments don't make us monsters, but you also have to actually face up to your worst moments and take responsibility for the consequences of your actions. I've said it before in passing but I really think this kind of therapy may have really helped Jimmy, if he were ever actually inclined to seek therapy. Just as a more self-compassionate way of facing up to his worst moments. Nobody wants to do, or is helped by, the kind of self-flagellation that I think most of the fandom would expect of him in order to have a chance at a future, "forgiveness" or "redemption" or whatever.

I honestly suggest you look into it, anon, it's up to you of course if you want to pursue any kind of therapy whatsoever but idk, i dont know you but i don't believe you are bad and i don't believe that you have to live like this forever, change doesn't necessarily have to be shedding everything that you are and stepping into a whole new personality, it can be you getting better touch with the existing parts of your personality and working with them to create a better life.

[adviceformefromme]

'2] Anxiety when dating became a signal that I had inner work to do. Not that I should just ignore it, or have a shot of tequila to settle the nerves. I used to date men I believed where out of my league, because my confidence was in the gutter. My anxiety led me to building my confidence'

hi, how did you navigate this? sorry to trauma dump lol but i really do want to work on this, but my parents got divorced when I was a child bc my dad got involved with another woman so that's given me intense fear and anxiety in my own relationships-- so much so that my man could simply just talk to another woman and have an innocent conversation or laugh with her and I'll feel extremely threatened and anxious and will go into complete fight or flight mode. i've even given myself anxiety attacks sometimes when i've been overthinking his friendships with women. it really sucks and I have no idea how to get rid of it. so i just would like to know how you did this inner work on anxiety in relationships please as I really do want to work on this and become more securely attached

Hey sweetie! I actually went through a similar thing with my parents when I was 15, it didn't leave me fearing I would be cheated on, however my dads absent presence from being in my life but not fully involved left me feeling like I was never enough. I'll condense down my healing, and hopefully it can help you fast track what you are dealing with now so you can move on with your life without this painful anchor. 1] Therapy. I literally could not see, or make sense of my destructive habits and patterns until I did Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. This is not a therapy that goes on for years, it's usually around 8-12 weeks and really helps target your anxious behaviours especially in relationships. 2] I did an Akashic record healing, which revealed to me the traumas I had carried from past lives and I worked with the Akashic healer to remove the traumas. Hands down this completely changed my life. This trauma you have could be felt much deeply because it could be something from a past life. I don't know if you believe in that stuff, but if you do it's definitely worth investigating. 3] I learnt to understand my needs. What do I need? Is this a man who can meet my needs? Are you choosing men that reassure you, or are you choosing men that reinforce your insecurities? Have you identified what you need in a relationship, from a man? If not, this is something to spend some time figuring out. 4] I let go of the struggle story. The story of not feeling enough, not trusting, not feeling wanted. This meant, I stopped gossiping with friends about by dating life which helped so much because speaking about said guy constantly was draining, especially when things would inevitably go south. The more you speak on your struggle, the more you are speaking your struggle into your future. As soon as I stopped gossiping about my failing dating life, some shifts started to happen. I spoke to my therapist, or one trusted friend. But other than that, I learnt that speaking on the bad news is not how I thrive in this life. 5] I deepened my relationship with God. This removed 99.9% of the men I was entertaining. I chose to see God as my father, and my dad as my earthly father, someone who is human, makes mistakes and it really softened my hurt and pain towards my dad. Also my relationship with God, helped me filter out the men I was entertaining. Was I choosing men that appeared good on paper, or men who shared the same values as me? And with that answer, there was a shift. 6] I worked on forgiveness. This was HUGE. I wrote a list of every single person who hurt me, i would recommend starting with your dad, and anyone else at the top of the list and write down what happened, what you felt and visualise forgiving yourself and forgiving those involved. This is a very healing process, it wasn't a quick thing. But if you can focus on forgiveness in your healing you'll be clearing out the roots of this issue completely. I hope these points resonated xoxox

[echosfandoms]

"An Indirect Kiss" Has it been months???? Maybe But lets pick up right here we left off motherfuckers. Amethyst and Steven continue to be so sibling coded, I love their relationship Garnet pulling aside Amethysts shirt to look at her Gem. Begs the question, as several moments do. Is gem outfit clothes? Or body? Skin shirt..? can they take it off...?? Anyway. Does Amethyst pretend not to worry about her gem so she doesn't freak Steven out, or because she's genuinely just too stubborn to admit it's a problem? Or both. Both is good. Poor girl. So damn afraid to show weakness. Even when she's clearly injured. "Okay but it's mostly backwash" Ew. ew ew ew. I get that it's important later, but ick, pfff. The faces in this episode sure are something. Oh my god pearl freaking out over the fountain not being on. Projecting on to some damn vines. She needs Therapy.

God it's so annoying when the Pearl or Garnet gets onto Amethyst or Steven, when they're literally correct, or doing something good. Amethyst protected Steven from those vines. Steven was doing his best to do what everyone wanted him to, and they just made him feel like a disappointment. They brought him to a place that used to be his mothers, and they didn't even stop to consider how he might feel about it. And god. The fucking scene where he thinks he's truly let down Amethyst and she's going to die because of him, and his tears don't work, but Amethyst tells him that her saved her. Because she cares about him. Because she see's where his insecurities lie, because hers are so similar. they get each other Steven feel so much pressure all the time. Constantly. He needs to be everything his mother was and more. He feels like love felt towards him is conditional. And Connie reassures him, but she's can't really understand, even if she's a good friend. She's not half Gem. and the Gems can't understand, they're not half human. It really fucks me up how in a world full of people, he is completely 100% alone in that experience. But hey, at least he feels a little better, because actually he does have healing magics. :) "What am I going to tell my optometrist?!" "I don't even know!" - Steven ...because he doesn't know what an optometrist is..? Connies moment at the end, immediately adjusting to the weird world that Steven presents her with. She's so great.

[moo-nstone]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT. 7

gemini and pisces placements are similar in the sense that geminis are able to see things from all perspectives, while pisces are able to empathise with people who have all sorts of different perspectives. pisces placements... be careful with over-empathising with the people who hurt you to the point where you’re understanding why they did it and you start excusing their actions. gemini placements... be careful with seeking the multi-layers and million different perspectives in everything and everyone to the point where you’re driving your own mind insane and you don’t know what your opinion is anymore because you hyper-analyse so much. too much of a good ability becomes a curse.

people with venus-mars aspects have a talent for making people who hate them fall in love with them 💋

moon in the 11th house natives tend to attract friends who get into scandals. moon in the 10th house natives tend to be the ones who get into said scandals. it’s a PERFECT FRIENDSHIP

capricorn placements have a talent for knowing how to make things last. they want to prolong the enjoyment they get out of something for as long as possible, which is why their hobbies, friendships and relationships tend to last a lifetime... hedonistic sluts

since both the 7th house and the 11th house rule fandoms, celebrities with a 7th house or 11th house neptune can attract fans who view them as angels who can’t do nothing wrong — because of this, those celebrities rarely take accountability for their mistakes, since people keep pushing the “but they’re perfect :(“ light on them

pluto conjunct ascendant natives always come off as very serious during first impressions, no matter how approachable and inviting they strive to appear.

sun and moon in the 10th house people may feel as if they’re always exposed to the public eye, they can’t get away with keeping things secretive. others always notice whatever they want kept on the low. this can be especially frustrating if they notice that others aren’t exposed to the same kind of scrutiny that they are for simply existing

lilith in pisces bitches have a natural talent for appearing like angels even in situations where they are 100% guilty. it’s very easy for them to put on their vulnerable, lost puppy act lmfao, which triggers others’ protective instincts. they may be able to cry on cue when people call them out on their bullshit, making them feel like THEY’re the shitty ones for confronting the lilith native... it’s insane

lilith in the 12th house natives may feel as though the themes of lilith are trapped in their psyche, at the core of who they are and those themes become unavoidable for them — they’re always there, lurking in the shadows, becoming the center of their nightmares

people with mercury in the 1st house can feel veryyy threatened and defensive when someone possesses knowledge in an area that they don’t, it’s like it hits them right on their biggest fears. they often either try to “one-up” the other person in an attempt to heal their broken ego or shut down altogether in insecurity. it’s imperative that they work on developing a strong sense of self-worth because they can be extremely prone to comparing their mental skills to those of other people.

people with personal planets in the 12th house may feel as though a lot of their artistic drive is stifled by their lack of energy. like... in the mental realm there’s a lot going on and it’s incredible, but then you pick up a pen to actualize your visions and you feel exhaustion immediately overtaking you. it can feel like there’s a lot to your psyche that feels inaccessible to you not because you don’t want to explore it, but because you have yet to restore the energy to dive deep into it. this can be especially noticeable if there’s absolutely no 5th house energy in the chart

people with jupiter in an earth sign love being surrounded by greeneries in their home; they may take a lot of enjoyment out of taking care of plants, gardening, cooking and stuff of the sort. it makes them feel more grounded, independent, and even healed. they also LOVE scents that connect them to nature like the scent of grass and the ocean.

air mercuries can be very beware of strangers, they can feel offended when their friends make them socialize with someone they don’t know and it can take a hot while before they trust the person enough to lower their defences a bit. they need to know it’s safe before expressing their usual sexy eccentric selves in front of someone new. on the other hand, aries placements can also hate being introduced to new people through their friends but it’s mostly because they’re very territorial over them, and can’t stand the thought that this new person can hurt their friendship in any possible way

meanwhile, it’s probably an earth or leo/sagittarius mercury introducing new friends to the group. they’re so fucking good with people and it shows in how they make people feel welcomed so easily, it’s like they “take” the person in and adopt them into the group. they can’t stand seeing someone being treated like an outcast because they know how it sucks to feel rejected, so they’ll try their best to make you feel included

while on the subject of people who hate seeing others be treated like an outcast because they know how it feels like to be rejected: SCORPIO RISINGS. bro. people underestimate how chill they can actually be. if they see you being left out, they’ll approach you with no fucks given and do anything in their power to make you feel comfortable. they do so well in group settings.

and while on the subject of scorpio risings... i have a scorpio rising friend and he goes thru it on the daily. he often complains that people are always suspicious of him and that they seem repulsed by him, strangers on the street will stay tf away from him. and it’s so heartbreaking because his personality is so friendly and welcoming and it doesn’t at all match his intimidating appearance. scorpio risings have this energy that not many people can handle, others feel either really drawn to them or downright scared of them because of the “danger” element they seem to carry in them

i know two people who are both scorpio suns and libra moons and they look the exact same, even though they have different risings. brown, deep-set eyes, coarse dark hair, naturally tanner skin tone — and they have the same style as well, using lots of band t-shirts and dark clothing. scorpio energy is always so noticeable wherever it is i swear, it’s like it takes over the rest of the chart

gemini moons are what yall claim gemini venuses to be. like, seriously... have you ever met someone with a gemini venus? they don’t need constant stimulation or else they’ll get bored and cheat. not in the slightest; actually, they’re often incredibly loyal and crave longterm, committed relationships. if anything, they need stimulation outside of their relationship in the form of a good, exciting career and hobbies so that they don’t get too addicted to their partner and to constantly analysing every aspect of their relationship. gemini moons however, tend to have multiple partners throughout life and they often feat deep commitment. they can be huge players imo, IT’S THEM YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT!

sagittarius placements are so... tactile? like, they love to touch things. when they go to stores and stuff, they’ll start holding everything that catches their attention— it’s like they can only decide if they want to buy something after thouroughly exploring how it feels, the texture and the energy that the object gives them through touch. and they talk so much with their hands. it makes me so anxious like bitch you aren’t selena gomez, i promise you that you CAN keep your hands to yourself

taurus placements are so weird to me, i can’t understand them. it’s like they’re afraid of exploring their own depths, which in turn makes me unable to explore them. okay, how do i put this... it’s like they have this preset idea of who they are and after deciding so, they’re unwilling to let go of it. “i’m the stable friend who’s here for everyone even when i can barely take care of my own self” and then that’s who they are: the people who are a steady rock in the lives of others, taking care of everyone. and then they refuse to change even after getting hurt. and then, it’s like... well, you can’t just be that. you are a human who contains multitudes, but i don’t think you give yourself enough credit on how layered you are. that fear of changeability, that need to be the one stable thing in a world full of unpredictability will only damage you in the end, because you won’t get to fully experience life’s greatest pleasure: knowing yourself. becoming your own best friend, exploring every layer that there is to your being. i think you deny yourself of that experience because you fear that, with self-learning comes self-growth which leads to transformation. and you fear transformation because you don’t want to change for the worst. but like... transformation is necessary and with that comes adaptability + flexibility, which are things you could greatly benefit from.

scorpio venuses can be so pessimistic— and when they’re in a dark mindset, it’s so difficult to pull them out of it. it’s so difficult to get them to see the good in difficult situations, and to help them believe that it gets better. but even if you don’t believe me, i’ll keep telling you; it does get better. you’ll get through this.

jupiter in the 4th house is an indicator of food having been an amazing part of your childhood; there might’ve been a lot of feasts and you could’ve had a parent who loved to cook. being well fed might be a huge concern for you now; you might get sick easily when you’re eating fast food and non-traditional plates.

mercury square uranus is an extremely difficult aspect to have because, in your earlier years, you might’ve felt dumb or like there was something wrong with your intelligence because you might’ve found school difficult due to it’s structured nature that didn’t fit with the way you like to learn things— you need to learn in an interactive way that piques your interest. your anxiety and any traumatic experienced that you faced could’ve heavily impacted your school performance. you might’ve had an ease with learning but then, when it came to doing the written tests, you couldn’t perform to the best of your abilities. either way, school might’ve been a source of a lot of stress and difficulty.

mercury square pluto can have some weird manifestation where, like... you suspect things but you always suspect the wrong things. i’ve met a few people with this aspect and all of them were extremely suspicious of the most random things who were literally normal and innocent. this aspect can cause a lot of chaos to one’s interpersonal relationships because you might find yourself suspecting your loved ones in the weirdest circumstances due to your trust issues, which in return causes them to lose trust in you + the want to confide in you because you keep questioning everything they’re up to WHEN THEY’RE NOT UP TO ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. probably the most frustrating thing that can happen with this aspect is when you always suspect what you shouldn’t, but then, when sketchy things are actually happening that should be questioned, you don’t bat an eye to it. omfg it drives me insane

moon conjunct the ascendant can make someone have a very delicate appearance that gives others the impression that they need to handle you like fine china or else you might break. my mother has this at a very tight orb and whenever i bring people over, their first impression of her is always “she looks so frail”. the native might be extremely sensitive to every minor inconvenience which brings a lot of frustration to them, a feeling that they can’t control their reactions and inner turmoil. it can also suck when you don’t want to be depicted as the victim but then that’s the way everyone perceives you. the native might have very expressive and shiny eyes, and they can cry easily. it’s very difficult for them to hide their emotions.

your jupiter sign can signify where you feel an overflow of energy. jupiter in cancer may feel like you have an overflow of nurturing and protective energy towards your loved ones, with a lot of intuition and need for introspection. jupiter in leo can make you feel like you a talent for self-expression and dealing with others, being overly dramatic and prideful at times, and with a huge drive to have fun. jupiter in virgo can feel an overflow of perceptive qualities, with a huge amount of self-awareness and also awareness of your surroundings, ability to constantly analyse and a constant strive for perfection (which btw is impossible since perfection is unattainable and you’re a human being who makes mistakes and that’s completely fine. stop finding flaws where there aren’t none).

[akifsessays]

Why do some claim that ‘one man's terrorist another is man's freedom fighter’?

As a matter of fact, this issue is related to what we understand by terrorism. We can also define this as the things that harm the institutions and organizations of the government. But at the same time, authoritarian or despotic regimes also become terrorists in a way. After all, a person who is a terrorist to one person may be a freedom fighter to another. Terrorism is actually a highly controversial topic. Can we use the word terrorist to describe any kind of cruel act?  If we pay attention, the beginning or the end of terrorism-related events always cause damage. The world is slowly making people like this, and the natural result of an insecure environment is chaos and war. In this situation as a Latin proverb says,as “homo homini lupus (man is a wolf to another man)”. [1]So in a way we are all terrorists, but we call ourselves freedom fighters because it sounds better. Some thinkers have tried to explain terrorism. For example, according to Walter Laquer, Terrorism is the use of unlawful force aimed at innocent people to achieve a political goal.[2] Or Paul Wilkinson , briefly said is the systematic use of means such as killing, wounding, or intimidating a larger group to create an atmosphere of terror by intimidating a larger group to achieve the goals of terrorists.[3] These definitions cannot be reflected to people living in different geographies, social and religious communities. Each nation and culture interprets whether an action has terrorist characteristics or not. These geographical factors or socio-cultural influences and ambitions can be accommodated. As I mentioned earlier, a person who is a terrorist to one person may be a freedom fighter to another. It would be correct to give an example of a coin here. When we look at money, we only see the side we are looking at. Terror is a coin and we see it from wherever we look. Terrorism is an ideological concept that the world has been fighting for a long time. Any behavior that you consider a threat to your own opinion, your homeland, can be seen as a terrorist organization.

 Terrorism has a long history, modern terrorism goes back to World War I. Until today, there have been many activities called terrorism, and when you look at them, the common point of all of them was that they were bloody and terrifying activities. For instance, after the September 11 attack in the United States by al-Qaeda affiliate Osama Bin Laden and those around him, terrorism grew and became stronger in an unstoppable way. This brought along the concerns of securitization [4].

If we consider this issue through the expression "one's terrorist, another's freedom fighter", how was this event led by Afghanistan's leader Osama bin Laden received by Afghanistan? As we can imagine, for the Afghan side, this was a success and a strong step towards Arab freedom.

Did this terrorist incident take place because of an American sanction on Afghanistan or was it because Osama Bin Laden really just wanted to kill people?  From the perspective of mutual empathy, no country or leader in the world is innocent enough and does not want peace. This should not only be considered across countries, they can be friends or enemies for their own benefit. Why shouldn't Terror be a tool or a philosophy to use it in your interests. The brainwashing or hypnosis abilities of Hassan Sabbah in Alamut in the 12th century are present in most organizations and leaders today. Especially today, the use of media and its reflections cause us to confuse what is right with what is wrong. We live in a world order that first makes people sick and then produces drugs with the promise of healing them and condemns them to use these drugs. These are Millennium Assassins for me. It should not be forgotten that all terrorist groups are formed for a specific purpose. While many terrorist activities use similar forms of violence, they are not all essentially the same.

When we look at terrorism from another perspective, there may be deep beliefs behind the events that we perceive as terrorism. Killing and fighting have existed since the beginning of mankind and have been described in all holy books. Accordingly, it would not be correct to call every person who fights and holds a gun a terrorist. Then we may be perceived as a terrorist ourselves. The closer you look at the legal activities of the state and the criminal activities of a terrorist organization, the harder it will be to see the difference. What is the difference between Viet-Cong (National Liberation Front of South Vietnam ) activities and America's? So what is the difference between the pilot of a plane that drops normal bombs and a normal suicide bomber on Middle Eastern countries? When you look at it, they both kill innocent people. Perhaps it is the states themselves that lead people to terrorism. Terrorism is not just about guns and bombs, there are many different types. For example, after Turkey's sudden transformation from a state ruled by a caliphate and sultanate to a secular and democratic state,  attacks on Atatürk, riots and slanders can be called a terrorist attack by his own country.  In fact, the important question is, how are these organizations that we call terrorists arming ?

How can such illegal organizations procure heavy weapons such as Kalashnikovs and  RPG-7 ? And how can we explain the comfortable use of social media by terrorist groups with the effect of globalization? I think what we need to know is this, look at the brand of the lead, not the shooter. While terrorist organizations used to carry out their narrow and regional activities, they have now started to carry out very complex international activities in today's world, and they can also adapt

very easily. Today, we can easily access everything via the internet and social media. For example, you can watch the 9/11 incident live and now can easily contact and join a terrorist group. So, what is the interest relationship of these organizations with the media?

While terrorist organizations seize the opportunity to convey their demands, express themselves and raise awareness through the media; on the other hand, the media seizes the opportunity to obtain news. (KARTAL, 2014)

As a result, many countries will be endangered within their borders as Terrorism continues to grow, spread and become so easy to reach. If we take the issue of "one person's terrorist, another's freedom fighter" again, we will never know who is a terrorist and who is a freedom fighter.  Here we turn to my coin example. This is how it works when you look at terrorism. Some may perceive an incident as terrorist activity, while others may perceive the same incident as a revenge and consider it the right thing to do. Whether there is terrorism or not, everything that ends with death, brutality, and fear must be brought to an end.Preventing terrorism works better with peace, civilization and good education. It should not be forgotten that the way we try to prevent terrorism in today's world goes through weapons and death.

[1] A phrase in Latin which translates as "man is a wolf to other men". The epigram appears in the dedication of Thomas Hobbes, "De cive", published in 1651. Thomas Hobbes, Howard Warrender Clarendon Press, 1983.

[2] Interpretations of Terrorism: Fact, Fiction and Political Science . Walter Laqueur . Journal of Contemporary History Vol. 12, No. 1 (Jan., 1977), pp. 1-42 . Published By: Sage Publications, Inc

https://www.jstor.org/stable/260235

[3] Political Terrorism. By Paul Wilkinson. (New York: Halstead Press, 1975. Pp. 160 )

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/american-political-science-review/article/abs/political-terrorism-by-paul-wilkinson-new-york-halstead-press-1975-pp-160-1195/AD50F2A369E83FD2F8797CE5DC1B93CF

[4] The Impact of 9/11 on Politics and War: The Day that Changed Everything? Volume 1 , Matthew J. Morgan , Palgrave Macmillan, 2009 Pp: 131-137  ( http://libgen.li/ads.php?md5=194bd0287c0807a0dc0ba2de1c0284a9)

[therealvinelle]

Vinelle (and muffin since I know they'll see this too~!), I don't know if you guys have made a post ranking the Twilight books and why (including Bree and L&D if applicable) but I'd love to hear your opinions! (also if you could rank the Twi movies from least worst to most worst and why that'd be awesome too! 030 hi key love your rants on the movies and would love to hear y'alls thoughts more on them)-Sw

You’ve caught us out, anon.

And thanks to you, we spent last night watching Breaking Dawn Part 2 so we could rank it. @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin hadn’t seen it at all, while I half-remembered it from years ago. A terrible time was had because that movie was unwatchably bad.

Since this ask was sent jointly, our answer was co-written.

So, without further ado, movies first:

1. Twilight

This is a bad movie, but it’s recognizably a movie. The scenes are connected, there are things it did well, and we could tell you what the plot is. The awkwardness, for instance, is very well done. The weaknesses are glaring, the main one being that the film never sells us on the characters of Bella and Edward, nor on their relationship, relying instead on the audience knowing they’re in love because- well, they’re in love.

Diving deeper into Edward and Bella, there’s an understandable explanation for this. Edward of the books is terrifying, and I don’t think there’s a translation to screen that could have kept the romantic atmosphere surrounding him that we see from Bella’s point of view.

Bella can listen to Edward eating Biology and how he explains that it means how much he loves her and not blink. An actual audience hearing that dialogue will have second thoughts.

Right out of the gate, Twilight has a very difficult task: Salvage Edward Cullen while still producing a somewhat recognizable character who will take the same actions (or near the same actions) that Edward Cullen did in the book.

In the effort to make Edward palatable but save some of his original character he loses his more terrifying lines (as well as his hilarious ego) but becomes weird, awkward, and vaguely creepy. Edward Cullen of the films is that weird, friendless guy in your high school who you feel kind of bad for but don’t want to eat lunch with.

Bella faces a similar transformation. Bella’s insecurity is completely removed (or else the screenwriters somehow failed to notice it). As a result, we get this strange antisocial girl who is too cool for school because she’s a stuck up bitch.

Between Edward, this creepy guy who sits next to her in Biology, and Bella, this girl who enters school too good for everyone else, we see no reason why they would ever be interested in one another.

In an attempt to make these characters likeable they made them both unlikeable and boring. The film series as a whole never recovers from this (indeed, the quest to make Edward look good keeps leading to stranger and stranger places). 

It also forgets to explain why the Cullens live among humans, they’re attending high school… because. It’s a movie that explained to us all those terrible 2010 era memes and “still a better love story than Twilight”. And frankly, those memes were great, better than the movie. Case in point.

Everything is weirdly blue, which is atmospheric but also makes everything and everyone washed out. Everyone is super pale, so you have Mike looking just as vampire-y as Edward. However, it’s recognizably a movie. It introduces the characters, recognizes that the audience needs to be informed of things that are important to the plot, and most scenes are in some way connected to the plot. This is more than can be said for the other films, which is why it lands the top slot.

2. Eclipse

Eclipse earns its second place by process of elimination. The remaining three were worse. Eclipse also features Edward being cuckolded mercilessly, which is hilarious. Oh, and Victoria playing Riley, that was another beautiful scene.

Apart from that it’s just a deeply boring, borderline unwatchable movie.

Special shoutouts go to:

The opening scene of Riley getting turned, a ridiculous and poorly executed scene that served no purpose for the movie whatsoever.

Rosalie dropping her backstory without any context, Bella walks up to her and Rosalie launches into this horrific story for no particular reason. Both her and Jasper’s backstories could have been cut, as they served no purpose to the story and felt really thrown in there.

The many, many redundant scenes. The Victoria chase that ends with the Cullens and Quileutes squabbling could have been cut entirely. So too could the Seattle subplot with the newborns and Bree.

It’s a movie that isn’t about anything in particular, so it throws subplot spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. It dutifully regurgitates the Jacob/Bella/Edward love triangle while also trying to convey that Bella’s about to lose her mortality, while also trying to introduce suspense and excitement with the newborns. It fails to execute either of these, and it also fails to tie them together.

3. New Moon

The movie that wanted to skip itself.

This movie had two jobs, show that Bella is depressed when Edward leaves and convince the audience of Bella and Jacob’s strong friendship. And apart the rotating shots and the occasional Stewart voiceover, the former becomes one of those “just stay with us on this one, guys” failures, and the second is failed on every level. Jake and Bella are much closer at the beginning of this movie than they were in canon, and a montage of Bella hanging out with her buddy is just that, it’s a montage of Bella hanging out with her buddy. It speaks volumes that Stewart’s voiceover has to remind us she’s depressed and Jacob is helping her heal, because there’s no indicator on screen that this is happening.

This, in turn, makes Bella/Jake as weak and unconvincing as Bella/Edward was in the previous movie. We just have to take on faith that these people are important to each other because that’s what we’re told.

There’s also the wolves, who are completely butchered. In the books, there’s this great mystery with bears in the woods, there’s Bella wondering why Laurent ran off, there’s build-up, then when we find out what’s actually been happening it’s a satisfying explanation, all the pieces come together really nicely. This is not the case in the movie. Meeting the pack is just weird in this context, because we never wondered who they were. Bella is randomly invited to breakfast, we meet Emily with the scarred face who won’t ever have a line again, and that’s it, these characters don’t become important to the movie in any way. It’s a pointless scene that could have been cut, much like so many other scenes in these movies.

Apart from that, the Volturi scene from the books is butchered so I hardly recognize it, and Alice, Carlisle, and Edward’s characters are assassinated to an impressive degree considering they were barely in the movie.

It was hard to watch.

It lands third place because somehow, Breaking Dawn was worse.

4. Breaking Dawn Part Two

I’ll just list the positives: the intro was very pretty and promised a better movie. It was also long, which we appreciated because it took away from the movie’s runtime. (This is not at all an exaggeration, a lot of the time watching all five movies was spent looking at the remaining runtime and groaning.) The Tommy Wiseau sex scene in the sex cabin was uncomfortable, but the fact that it would have fit perfectly in The Room made it funny. The Romanians were genuinely, unironically, great, because of all of Carlisle’s trashy friends, these were the only ones the movie didn’t try to convince us weren’t trashy.

This movie ranks above Breaking Dawn Part One because of the things listed above.

Apart from that, something all of these movies, but especially the last four, suffer from is that they don’t have plots so much as they have a check list of things to put in the movie before they can call it a wrap. This movie is the worst offender of that, and it’s made worse by the film’s expectation that the people are fans who already know what’s happening, and therefore don’t need anything explained. I’ll explain what we mean by that.

We get Bella waking up a vampire, and absolutely nothing is explained. If you don’t know what happened in the last movie then fuck you. Bella then goes hunting, we get the hiker, we get the mountain lion, she goes back to meet Renesmée, finds out Jake imprinted on her daughter, we get the sex cabin, the handwrestling with Emmett. The Charlie problem is introduced (poorly), only to be solved a scene later with emotional payoff that had absolutely no buildup. All of these things, and the rest of the movie as well for that matter, feels like we’re just crossing items off a list.

Since the audience is expected to already know the story, the story only bothers to explain about half of what’s happening, if half. Who’s the lady living with Charlie? If you don’t know, don’t worry because it’s not important anyway. When did Kate and Garrett fall in love? If you don’t care, that's understandable, because they’ve barely interacted in the movie. Who are the Amazonian women? Do they have names? Don’t worry about it. Did Alistair actually leave, if so did that have an impact? Well, Bella stared at a window for a few seconds.

Every so often the characters will start quoting the books, and it’ll be completely out of place because these movies veered off course long ago. Carlisle references his great friendship with Aro, a friendship that was only briefly mentioned at the beginning of the second movie. Aro randomly starts talking about how scary human technology is.

All of these scenes feel like Marcus is telling the story, he’s just listing events waiting for the story to be over, and forgets a lot of pertinent details because he doesn’t care enough to remember them. There’s no effort to tie these scenes together, no effort to build up to anything.

There’s also one significant failure, and this is a failure shared by all five films, but it affects the plot (I use the term “plot” loosely) of this movie which is why it gets a special shoutout here. Vampires in these movies look human. The fact that Bella has to ask Edward is Gianna the secretary is human says it all, because in the books you know instantly, there’s not even a question. This makes the Charlie subplot ridiculous, because Bella looks and acts the same as ever. She had a trashy makeover, maybe, but she’s still Bella. Watching her get human acting classes after we watched her act perfectly human is just silly. Now, we’re all for suspension of belief, but this movie just pencil drew a moustache on her and the audience is supposed to go “My god, Bella, I didn’t recognize you!”

We then get to the atrocious fight scene, which was somehow worse than I remembered. It was also oddly long for a giant fake out. This scene took significant run time and it turns out to have 0 effect on the plot. And when we get back to the real world, the tonal shift is extreme. You can’t go from Jane being choked, dragged across the snow and face eaten by a wolf to her standing around chilling. We could have skipped it entirely, just had Alice touch Aro’s hand, and he goes “Ah, I see, cheerio.”

The end credits were pretty funny, “here are these random characters with bit parts in previous movies, isn’t this nostalgic?”. Nice try, movie. The fact this came after an extended clip show of the great romance of Edward and Bella, through blurry montage images that failed to be convincing in their original films let alone this one, just made it even more hilarious. Hope you didn’t completely ruin the director’s career, though honestly you should a bit.

5. Breaking Dawn Part One

As you can probably tell by the above entries, the fact that this is the worst one is really saying something. All the movies were hard to watch, but this one required pure strength of will to power through.

The big issue is that Breaking Dawn shouldn’t have been split in the first place. However, it was, and that meant that we got a movie that was almost entirely filler. (Followed, somehow, by a movie that was also largely filler.)

We get everybody preparing for the wedding. What do Mike and Jessica think of Bella and Edward getting married? What’s that, you don’t care? Well, now you know anyway. We get the full wedding, as in the whole fucking thing, including the afterparty. We get Bella and Edward traveling to their island, and there’s filler in the filler where they go clubbing in Rio. We then get every minute detail of the wedding night followed by every minute detail of the honeymoon.

There’s fanservice, and then there’s this. This was live action fanfiction.

NOTHING that in any way is relevant to the story happens, the closest we get is Irina looking stoned. Too bad the Denali’ refusal to help out in Eclipse was cut from the last movie, in fact I’m not sure they were mentioned at all previously in these movies (I think maybe Edward had a one-line reference in Twilight?) so this means nothing to people who haven’t read the books.

We then get to the pregnancy arc, which could have been Rosemary’s Baby but is instead as outrageously boring as the first half of the movie was. The director must have realized as much, because he gives us Jacob’s alpha plot that should have been cut from the movie (yes, I know it was in the books, but the thing about adaptations is that things have to go. For the record, I think Meyer should have cut it too). That subplot was straight out of an anime, by the way. Jacob claiming his ancestral rights as alpha while listing off his titles and the soaring music, was… every shounen anime, ever. Complete with the shitty voice acting.

It was a soul-crushingly boring movie.

-

Something that screws over the last four movies is that they were made to feed the fangirls, and generate revenue because the producers knew the fans were coming to watch the books they liked come to life, so they just had to throw scenes from the books and into the movies and let the magic happen. This is a terrible way to adapt something.

Special shoutout too to having to watch Taylor Lautner run around shirtless in four out of five movies. That was very uncomfortable and none of us needed that in our lives, Lautner included.

Super special shoutout to the fact that we disagree with nearly all the casting.

And this isn’t the post for that, but all of the characters were butchered. Some more than others, and some more insidiously than others. It’s the big things, like Carlisle’s character being turned on its head since he thinks all vampires are damned, exactly the opposite of what he thinks in the books, and the little things, like Jasper and Bella being buddies who bicker fondly in New Moon. 

Then the books:

1. Midnight Sun

HANDS DOWN. This is easily our favorite thing to come out of the entire Twilight franchise.

Edward is every kind of crazy at the same time, all the time, and it makes every single sentence packed with delirious entertainment. Reading this book is having a stroke, a psychotic episode, and watching five different true crime shows all at once. We adore every letter of it. (That’s no exaggeration, we even laughed about Edward capitalizing “Son” when Carlisle refers to him as “son” in conversation.)

The book was more than we’d dared to hope for, one of those rare books that makes you go “This was written just for me.”

2. Twilight

The one that started it all.

Vampires are wonderfully creepy. Things like Bella staring at Carlisle acting like the mundane town doctor shortly after learning just how old he is, Alice explaining how vampires kill all, and the uncanny valley perfection of the Cullens all add to the otherness of these vampires, and the general atmosphere of the book.

The love story is convincing. Edward seen through the eyes of Bella is wonderful, the red flags are there but if it weren’t for the books that followed we wouldn’t have decried the ship the way we do.

3. Eclipse

Breaking Dawn is the more interesting book, but Eclipse has less things we outright don’t like. We get to know all the characters better, Edward and Bella are their usual beautiful selves, and it’s overall peak Twilight.

4. Breaking Dawn

Would have ranked much higher, we like what it did. Without it we wouldn’t be in this fandom now, as it brought so much amazing content. The baby plot is fine by us, Carlisle’s friends are great, the Volturi confrontation is a beautiful, if bleak culmination of preventable events. There’s a lot of great stuff in this book.

Unfortunately, and there’s just no diplomatic way to put this, so I’ll just come out with it: there’s too much Jacob.

He no longer had a reason to be in the story, given the way Eclipse ended he had every reason not to be in it. In spite of that we get an entire third of the book from his point of view, and then damned if he’s not shoehorned into the last third as well. He added absolutely nothing to the story, he was just there taking up space and being possessive of a toddler. His POV section was tough to get through, and his presence in book three was just painful. He should have been cut.

5. New Moon

This was the book we had to power through. There are some very good things in it, most notably the Volturi scene, but the Muffin and I enjoy Twilight for the vampires, and that makes Laurent and Hallucination!Edward the highlights of the part of the book where Edward is gone.

There’s also the fact that Jacob isn’t a very compelling character. He has to carry the book now that the Cullens aren’t doing it, and he simply isn’t up for it.

-

Yes, we’re aware that these books are ranked according to how much Jacob is in them. We don’t even hate him, not at all, it’s just that he’s boring.

(That being said, the books at their worst are better than the movies at their best. Jacob narrating his perfect playdate with Renesmée would still be preferable to… I’m trying to think of a good scene from the movies. Hm, nevermind.)

As for The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner and Life and Death, only I have read Bree Tanner and I don’t remember it well enough to give a proper assessment. I was bored with the OCs, though, bored to tears, throughout that book I was itching for Victoria and the Cullens. We have not read Life and Death, but we’re offended by its existence so it ranks bottom.

[trixr4kidzz]

Super radical varigo analysis (Part 1 maybe I don’t know I never shut up)

I want to expand on my last post about varigo.

I think the reason Hugo would get anxious or worried about Varian's head-strong nature and tendency to run into danger without thinking stems from his work with Donella. Rarely would he ever get attached to any of her henchmen seeing as most of them died on the job from very similar circumstances. He's been traumatized by watching people die in front of him constantly while also not having proper time to process it since he's always running around to save himself or please Don. By the time he meets Varian, everything slows and he's given time to process things. He realizes that he's terrified of death, but even moreso, he's scared of losing Varian to death. Varian is the only constant in his life that has taught him to heal and slow down, even if the alchemist doesn't take that advice himself. It's from that, that Hugo decides he'd do everything in his power to make sure he never dies or gets hurt while he's around. (Which also manifests into the original point of him being a bit overbearingly protective!)

I don't think Hugo was ever properly cared for trauma wise. I love momella as much as the next person, but I really can not see her actually properly caring for Hugo's trauma or problems in a healthy manner. ("Coping" to her is just constantly going on missions to ignore your problems which actually causes more problems! Who'da thunk it?) Hugo running into Varian, who even though he is still healing from trauma, is much further along in terms of learning coping skills and offering advice to people. (Do not be fooled, this alchemist does not take that advice himself.)

I think Hugo being paranoid is understandable, but he's not sure how to exactly deal with it and set up proper boundaries with Varian at first so it sort of manifests in a bit of an overbearing protectiveness.

On one hand, Varian really does appreciate it. All his life he's been tossed aside like he doesn't matter. If he wasn't being a nuisance, he was being a disappointment. He was left to rot for a year in prison with abusive guards and little food or water.... BUT the over protectiveness sorta leans into one of his insecurities. One of the main reasons people didn't seem to help him was because he was "just a child" he "didn't know" what he was talking about. In other words, he despises being coddled. He's not a helpless damsel in distress! He can care for himself to an extent and he doesn't need his hand held at every point.

Also back to Donella,  I think I see her more as... just a general caregiver... I don't know if I'd box her into any specific family position. Also I would not say she is a good caregiver. Personally, I don't really have any firm beliefs on whether she actually cares for Hugo or not, but I think she is... she is very poor at taking care of kids, whether she cares for them or not.

Donella, barely feeding Hugo and using food as a "reward" for him completing missions: Is this parenting?

 I think my personal interpretation is that, I think, Donella does really care and that scares her so it moreso manifests in neglectful and borderline abusive attributes and even if she actually cared, Hugo has every right to not want to her to be in his life.

BASICALLY I think Don does care, but bottom line, she caused Hugo massive irreversible trauma and he has every right to not wanna fuck w/ her. SJSDKNFDJSK

ANYWAY BACKING THAT INTO VARIGO....... I think at the beginning of their friendship (or I guess lack thereof since they're angrily arguing nonstop,) Hugo begins to feel... jealous. And he feels almost wrong for feeling jealous. He's jealous that Varian has friends and family that write him letters to see how he's doing. He's jealous that he receives gifts from them. He's jealous of how easily he seems to instantly click with Nuru and Yong and basically anyone else they run into. 

He feels guilty for being jealous for two reasons. One is that Donella taught him to "Stop complaining" whenever he was given little food. He was being fed, wasn't he? No need to be such an ungrateful brat lest he want to go back to fending for himself on the street.

The second is that, through living with Donella, he's kind of convinced himself he's not worthy of love. He's lucky Donella even lets him stick around. He's loud, he's cocky, he's a thief, it's no wonder people dislike him. That thought in his head that he is unlovable is something he refuses to change and even actively leans into. He is actively self-destructive and rude to make people dislike him.

So even if he is jealous of Varian, even if he yearns for the warm smiles and bubbly laughter, he feels like some part of him wins when he succeeds in making the man constantly angry at him.

[tangledinmdzs]

i still wanna be your favorite - yi city mdzs characters

best friend/good friends headcanons with the yi city arch characters, because everyone needs love (written following inspiration from the yi city arch)

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ 

Xiao Xingchen

you’ve been using your dwindling spiritual energy for days now

running from the havoc of your old, demolished sector

keeping yourself awake enough despite the blood that was dripping down your wound

pushing away any and all thoughts of the losses that you had suffered

even though many days have passed since the attack on your sector

it still feels as if it had happened yesterday

after the thousandth step that you take, you end up slumping down at the bark of a tree off the side of the road you’re taking

you’re too far from the town that you had left to go back

and in the yawning distance before you, you don’t see any other town close enough for you to walk to

you sigh to yourself as you look up at the high mid-day sun

your skin is hot

there’s iron in your mouth, on your clothes, all around you

between everything that had went on your barely remember if it’s your blood or the blood of your comrades or your enemies

everything seems hopeless, now that you were to die in a sad, lonesome way

you shock yourself with the dark thought of

perhaps you should have just died protecting your sect

instead of running away

a tear rolls down your cheek just as your spiritual energy runs out

all the pain of the past few days wash over you like a wave

you’re pulled under 

by the aching in your bones

the gentle warmth of your blood flowing past your fingertips at your last physical attempt at saving yourself

and the notion of regret, intensifying all that your adrenaline had kept at bay these last few days 

you cry, but they are silent tears rolling down your cheeks

you don’t even have the energy to cry any harder

and as your consciousness fades into the background, you barely have enough energy to focus on the sounds of footsteps that approach

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

you wake up

you honestly didn’t think that you would

but you’re startled at the sight that you open your eyes to

there’s a man before you

you want to move back, but your first attempt makes a groan break past your lips

the sound you make causes the man before you to turn around 

and then you realize that he is blind

“please don’t move too much; you’ll loosen the bandages on your wound” the man’s gentle, deep voice tells you

you calm your breath, feeling less insecure about the indecent state that you are in, considering that he can’t see you anyways

“i’ll fetch some porridge for you,” you hear him announce before he leaves

from that moment, you feel the debt that you owe to him

for saving your life

for giving more than he had

maybe there was something akin to luck, for you to have met him so

when he returns with the bowl, he helps you sit up and feeds you 

his gentleness is something that you are not used to, and it brings tears to your eyes, after days of sadness and grief

and even though he can’t see, the man in front of you is still incredibly attentive

he stalls the spoonful of porridge when he hears the deep breath that you take in the face of your silent tears

outside the night is dark, and before you finish your food he suggests one thing

“stay as long as you would like, to rest and regain your strength”

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃ 

A-Qing

you become a staple in A-Qing’s and Xiao Xingchen’s life after your rescue

and at first, she had you fooled well by her fake blindness

but after a month you realize that she can actually see

if the way her eyes seem to skirt away whenever you look at her is anything to go by

but you don’t tell her that you know

or force her to tell you

everyone had their reasons for doing what they needed to do

she’s still a witty and energetic girl nonetheless

and you grow fond of her quickly

between the three of you, less people are able to swindle Xiao Xingchen/take advantage of his blindness 

his kindness

because there is one person that is known to be seeing and two that can actually see

the three of you form your little family, because although Xiao Xingchen can do many things, there were also other things that his blindness limited him

you end up thatching the roof and doing other nitty gritty things once your wound heals up particularly well

and with more people, there was more ways to share the work

Xiao Xingchen also feels less antsy when you accompany A-Qing to the market or other places

A-Qing finds a solace in you that’s different from Xiao Xingchen

where the Taoist monk was gentle and calm, like the breeze

you were like the heat of the sun, 

hard, bright

but ultimately needed

after you had spent half a year with them, A-Qing wonders how she and the Taoist monk had survived as long as they did without you

and when the little girl sees how Xiao Xingchen’s lips ease into a smile at the sound of your voice, she feels warmth for you too

A-Qing’s never had a mother,

or a family

but nights in the coffin home are warmer now when your soft voice is there to lull her into sleep

you don’t sing much, not really

but that had been one of the many techniques of your sector

before the incident had happened

but it’s hard to forget all you’ve learned 

and you hum a soft tune into the night when the home that you share is a little too quiet

and sometimes, before your deep late night talks with Xiao Xingchen by the fire, A-Qing joins as well

because she is an eager child

and you can’t deny her company anyways

you’ve grown used to the way that the child lays down in your lap

and how you simply throw your cape over her curled up form out of habit

and the way your hand soothes the child’s shoulders in tandem to the melody you begin

you sing a song,

it’s not really a song as much as it is just an exercise for voice cultivation

but it is nice and soft

and with each rise and fall of your voice, A-Qing imagines that perhaps, her mother would have sounded just like this

it takes only a few quick minutes for A-Qing to drift off to sleep, and another quiet minutes after for you to finish

you know the child is asleep by the soft snores that you in your lap, but you look down anyways

A-Qing’s face is cherubic when she isn’t too busy trouble-making,

“the night is cold, i’ll put the child to bed” you tell Xiao Xingchen across the fire, 

“hmm...” 

you nod at Xiao Xingchen’s hum and gather the child in your arms to put her in her room

Xiao Xingchen waits for you by the fire, as he has grown used to

you return as he expects

and when the night grows quiet again, Xiao Xingchen closes his eyes behind his eye covering and truly listens

reminisces

your voice

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

Xue Yang

you realize that Xiao Xingchen seems to have a knack for finding people in precarious situations

you’re walking along with A-Qing and the monk on one of the off roads back to town when you find him

he’s laying face down on the grass

at first sight, you had thought it too be a mere body and try to shield the child away from it

but you catch sight of the slightest rise, like a struggling breath from the back

“blood,” Xiao Xingchen comments, and you immediately tell him of the body that you see and the distance between you both 

between the three of you, you’re able to bring him back to your little coffin home just as night fall is approaching

as you and Xiao Xingchen tend to the man’s wounds, you realize that this is probably how you had looked, when Xiao Xingchen had rescued you...a year (maybe a bit more) ago

the man awakens in the midst of his wrapping and has a similar reaction to when you had first awoken, but you’re quick to explain yourself and Xiao Xingchen

“it’s okay, we’re helping you. please don’t move too much” you say quickly, as you look down at the way the bandage is already reddening from the quick movement that he had tried to do

there’s a muted sort of reaction from the man that neither you nor A-Qing quite understand 

you think that’s from the pain of his injury

it’s not

a month under yours and Xiao Xingchen’s care Xue Yang is doing much better, though he doesn’t speak much

although you don’t think much about it, A-Qing off the bat does not like him

“he’s mean to me,” A-Qing had told you while you walked with her to the market

she clung onto your arm as she walked, stick switching back and forth for people to see

the child truly got better at being blind day by day

“perhaps, his injuries make him feel unwell,” because you like to give people the benefit of the doubt

A-Qing huffs

it is not good to judge people, if Xiao Xingchen has taught you anything at all in his care, being with him

but then, the night hunt happens

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

you don’t usually follow Xiao Xingchen on his nighthunts

because you hadn’t used your sword in a while

also because he didn’t ever allow you to

but when you catch Xue Yang’s request to join Xingchen one night, long after everyone had retired to bed, you can’t help but invite yourself along

you hadn’t ever thought that Xingchen would agree

but well,

he had

and so even though the weather tonight was colder and outside seemed darker

you thought that maybe it’d be good for you to come as an extra hand

they might need your help, if neither of them ever directly asked for it

sometimes you regret that you had even followed them anyways

because if you didn’t come along

you wouldn’t have seen the extent with which Xiao Xingchen was tricked

and how evil, truly evil, Xue Yang was

you hold back your own shocked gasp, hidden in the bushes as you watch

it was a tortuous deed that Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen (unknowingly) participated in

though you muffle your ragged breathing, you couldn’t help but cry at the way the old farmers were begging and moaning, clinging to the edge soft Xiao Xingchen’s robes as the empty holes of their mouths gaped at him

only for Xingchen to slice them dead with a clean cut of his sword

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

Song Lan

the months add up, and some days,

you think to yourself, of a way to rid Xue Yang that would protect everyone, 

because the man that was currently living in your coffin home was no ordinary cultivator

perhaps he was a murder

but whatever his background,

he would not be kind

you’re out on the day’s errand, mindlessly going about the market when you bump into someone 

he is a tall man, reminds you so much of Xingchen 

yet somehow different

you both stare at each other, 

unbeknownst to the fate that you both would meet with one another

 death

it was quick,

it was a shock

but you suppose it was worth it

you didn’t think that this man would talk to A-Qing,

nor that the child would leave the man back to the Coffin Home

you didn’t think that the man would know the stranger of your home, now named Xue Yang in your mind or Xiao XIngchen as well as he did

and when the fight breaks out among everyone, 

in between the dirty tricks that Xue Yang plays

you step in front of A-Qing to shield her from a sword that is thrown her way

and it’s a quick, easy way to go,

you’ve never been a strong cultivator anyways

you’re just sorry that you had to add more pain to the child’s life

you close your eyes to the tears and wails of A-Qing, peaceful at the very least

that she is alright

[my-bated-breath]

Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic

(featured below: a very self-indulgent Zutara post that uses Facts and Evidence to be self-indulgent)

When I joined the ATLA fandom, a common trend I've seen used to discredit Zutara was the belief that upon transitioning from a platonic relationship to a romantic one, Zuko and Katara would immediately become The Worst (TM) for each other. It's quite the stretch, and the Zutara fandom nearly unanimously recognizes that. Still, since the attacks have yet to cease even 15 years after the show’s first release, I'd like to add my two-cents on the subject, along with a reference to actual research that is much harder to dismiss.

The reason why Zutara is framed as a “toxic and unhealthy” relationship is that their romance would be a classic example of the enemies-to-lovers trope, a trope which modern media has not been particularly kind to. However, when executed correctly, enemies-to-lovers can produce a healthy and loving relationship, frequently relying on friendship as an intermediate between the “enemy” and “lover” stages in the most well-executed versions of this trope. Meanwhile, the trope of friends-to-lovers is just as popular as enemies-to-lovers, though the specific dynamic required between two individuals to achieve this transition is not well-known. Recognizing this, Laura K. Guerrero and Paul A. Mongeau, both of whom are involved in relationship-related research as professors at Arizona State University, wrote a research paper on how friendships may transition into romantic relationships.

While “On Becoming ‘More Than Friends: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship” covers a variety of aspects regarding how friends may approach a budding romantic relationship, this meta will focus on the section titled “The Trajectory from Platonic Friendship to Romantic Relationship,” which describes stages of intimacy that are in common between platonic and romantic relationships.

(I am only using this one source for my meta because as much as I love research and argumentative writing, I can only give myself so much more school work before I break. If you wish to see more sources that corroborate the argument from above, refer to the end of this meta at the “Works Cited.”)

According to Guerrero and Mongeau, “...scholars have argued that intimacy is located in different types of interactions, ranging from sexual activity and physical contact to warm, cozy interactions that can occur between friends, family members, and lovers…” Guerrero and Mongeau then reference a relationship model where the initial stages (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) reflect platonic/romantic intimacy through communication while the latter stages (i.e. role-taking, achieving interpersonal role fit, and achieving dyadic crystallization) often see both individuals as achieving a higher level of intimacy that involves more self-awareness.

Definitions, because some terminology in this quote is field-specific:

_____

Perception of similarity: (similar in background, values, etc.) which contributes to pair rapport

Pair rapport: produces positive emotional and behavioral responses to the partner, promotes effective communication and instills feelings of self-validation

Self-disclosure: a process of communication by which one person reveals information about themselves to another. The information can be descriptive or evaluative and can include thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, and dreams, as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites.

Role-taking: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship

Role-fit: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles

Dyadic crystallization: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple

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(Source: Quizlet -- not the most reliable source, I know, but once again field-specific terms tend to be ubiquitous in their definitions, and I doubt that this Quizlet can be that inaccurate)

(Additional note: only the first three definitions will be relevant to this meta, but the other definitions are left in for all of you who want to speculate what the next part of this meta, which may or may not be published the following week, will be about.)

Let’s apply what we just learned back to the real Zuko-Katara relationship we see throughout the show. What attributes of healthy and natural friends-to-lovers dynamics may they check off?

Perceiving similarities:

Zuko and Katara share an astounding number of parallels in background and character throughout the show. Both their mothers had sacrificed their lives to save them, and then there are many deliberate parallels drawn between Zuko and Katara’s confrontations in the Day of Black Sun and The Southern Raiders, respectively. Of course, there are more, but since I do not have much to add to this subject, I’ll say that perceiving these similarities helps contribute to…

Pair rapport:

We see three standout examples of this from the show in which Zuko and Katara “make positive emotional and behavioral responses” towards each other: In the Crossroads of Destiny, the Southern Raiders, and Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

(1) Crossroads of Destiny. Zuko and Katara bond over the loss of their mothers in the Crystal Catacombs, allowing themselves to truly see the other for the first time as well as for them to speak civilly and intimately (is this self-disclosure I see?) with each other. Of course, their conversation (on-screen or off-screen) is meaningful enough for Katara to offer to use the Spirit Oasis water to heal Zuko’s scar.

(2) The Southern Raiders. The journey Zuko and Katara take for her to achieve closure (which is something Zuko himself knew was necessary to heal and grow) is the catalyst for Katara forgiving Zuko. Though there is no true “rapport” in the scene where Katara forgives him, all other banter/conversations (in the Ember Island Players and the ATLA finale) between Katara and Zuko are reliant on the moment she forgives him.

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. In the finale, Zuko experiences a moment of uncertainty before just before he faces his uncle -- his uncle who had always been there for him since the days of his banishment, his uncle had loved him unconditionally even when Zuko did not know that such love was possible, his uncle who loved him like his own son, his uncle who he betrayed in the Crystal Catacombs, his uncle who turned away when he was encased in crystal, too disappointed to look him in the eye. He tells this to Katara -- and what does Katara say to Zuko in response?

“Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

The dialogue speaks for itself. The positive emotional response, the open communication, and the (rightful) encouragement Katara provides, all without invalidating Zuko’s self-doubt, demonstrates the epitome of pair rapport. Further elaboration would simply be me gushing over their dynamic.

Self-disclosure:

Self-disclosure involves revealing intimate feelings. We’re revisiting the same three episodes that we covered up above since they all include self-disclosure.

(1) The Crossroads of Destiny. When he reaches out in the Crystal Catacombs, Zuko reveals something to Katara that he has never told anyone before, perhaps something he didn’t even want to admit to himself -- in response to “the Fire Nation took my mother away from me” he says “that's something we have in common.” And to say that out loud, to say it to himself and Katara when for three whole years he’s been trying to convince himself that the Fire Nation is good and that his father loves him -- there are no words to describe it. It’s both awe-inspiring and heartbreaking to see that Zuko and Katara’s shared pain is what allowed them to see each other as more than the “face of the enemy,” and it’s something so poignant that it forms an immediately profound connection between the two.

(2) The Southern Raiders. On their way to the Fire Nation communications tower on Whale Tail Island, Katara tells the story of her mother’s death, a story that has haunted her memories for years, looming over her as a ghost, a wound that festers into fear to grief to anger. This was the moment that divided Katara’s life into the Before and the After, the one that forced her to abandon childhood and to become a mother to her own brother (as implied by Sokka in his conversation with Toph in the Runaway). And yet this is the first time we see her tell someone her story in the show, full and vivid as if it happened yesterday. Because even though she mentioned her mother before to Aang, Haru, and Jet in order to sympathize with them -- it’s just that. Sympathizing. This time she tells Zuko about her mother’s death for her own sake rather than for another’s. And it’s an incredibly intimate moment, one that is made even more fragile, wrenching, and beautiful by Zuko’s response -- “Your mother was a brave woman.”

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. Throughout the second half of season 3, Zuko shares his love and insecurities regarding Iroh to every member of the GAang.

In the Firebending Masters, he mentions to Aang offhandedly -- and perhaps too offhandedly, as if he didn’t want to believe it himself -- that Iroh, Dragon of the West, received his honorary title for killing the last dragon.

An episode later in part one of the Boiling Rock, Zuko talks about his uncle with near constancy. He brews tea for the GAang and (endearingly) tries retelling “Uncle’s favorite tea joke.” He tells Sokka, “Hey, hold on. Not everyone in my family is like that… I  meant my uncle. He was more of a father to me. And I really let him down.” He (fails at, adorably) giving advice to Sokka when the rescue mission to the Boiling Rock has begun to look helpless, asking himself “what would Uncle say?” before completely floundering away.

Then, in the Ember Island Players, he shares a sweet moment with Toph, bitterly spitting out that

“...for me, [the play] takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

Toph, in turn, reveals the thoughtful side to her character, the side that is almost always hidden, telling Zuko that “you have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.”

And every one of these moments matter, because we see Zuko’s inner conflict (though this inner conflict does not exist to the extent at which it did at the first half of season 3) and its evolution. First, with Aang, he remains skeptical and disillusioned. Second, with Sokka, his longing for Iroh’s love and presence manifests itself in him imitating his uncle as well as he can. Third, with Toph, he finally admits everything he had been afraid of ever since he saw Iroh’s empty prison cell during the eclipse -- that Iroh is disappointed in him. That Iroh hates him. That Iroh will never accept him again.

And for a moment, with Toph’s encouraging response and Zuko’s resulting little smile, it appears as though Zuko’s internal conflict arc is concluded. But we are wrong -- because in the finale of the show, we are given the true climax and resolution to Zuko’s insecurities, fears, and self-loathing. And who is it that he shares this moment with?

It speaks volumes about Zuko and Katara’s relationship that Katara is the one to comfort Zuko in this scene, in that last moment of hesitation right before he steps inside his uncle’s tent, preparing himself to see his uncle as a completely changed person. As a person who now knows humility and unconditional love. And remember -- selecting Katara to be in this scene is a deliberate narrative choice because ATLA was written by a team of producers and writers, and perhaps even if it wasn’t, it becomes a powerful moment in which Zuko’s arc with Iroh reaches its peak.

Simply having Katara there in this scene already has such a great narrative impact, but then the show gives us some of the most intimate dialogue that Zuko, a naturally closed-off person, delivers (although his emotional outbursts may suggest otherwise, Zuko tends to hide most of his internally conflicting feelings to himself. Hence, he is always able to dramatically monologue about his honor, his country, and his throne -- because he’s trying to convince himself to play a part. But that’s another meta for another day).

Let’s begin by comparing Toph and Zuko’s dialogue with Katara and Zuko’s dialogue because both see the other party validating Zuko’s feelings.

(Warning: the following section plunges deep into the realm of speculation and overanalyzing dialogue. Regarding literature or any media, there are countless ways to interpret the source material, and this is simply one way it could be done.)

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue:

Toph: Geez, everyone's getting so upset about their characters. Even you seem more down than usual, and that's saying something!

Zuko: You don't get it, it's different for you. You get a muscly version of yourself, taking down ten bad guys at once, and making sassy remarks.

Toph: Yeah, that's pretty great!

Zuko: But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.

_____

Although Toph and Zuko’s dynamic is one of the most innocent and understanding throughout the show, the conversation begins with Toph joking with a negative connotation -- that “even [Zuko seemed] more down than usual, and that’s saying something!” Thus, the conversation opener is not one that allows for Zuko to easily be emotionally vulnerable, and so he responds bitterly and angrily -- “You don’t get it, it’s different for you” and “...and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back.” By stating that their portrayals in the shows were different, Zuko mentally places a wall between himself and Toph, saying that “[Toph doesn’t] get it.” Then, the rhetorical question Zuko asks himself and the shortness with which he answers the question showcases a forceful and biting tone, indicating that he is covering up his inner turmoil with vehemence. This tendency is something we’ve seen Zuko default to before, whenever he had shouted the oft-mocked “I must restore my honor!” lines in response to a few introspective questions Iroh had asked (though once again, that’s another meta for another day). Now, let’s examine the remainder of their conversation.

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: You have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.

Zuko: How do you know?

Toph: Because I once had a long conversation with the guy, and all he would talk about was you.

Zuko: Really?

Toph: Yeah, and it was kind of annoying.

Zuko: Oh, sorry.

_____

Here we see Toph and Zuko’s conversation take a more serious turn as Toph becomes more sincere. Zuko, however, is still full of self-doubt as he is constantly questioning Toph with “how do you know?” and “really” and “oh, sorry.”

(featured up above: Zuko looking dejected and doubtful.)

Still, the conversation ends on a sweet and inspiring note:

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: But it was also very sweet. All your uncle wanted was for you to find your own path, and see the light. Now you're here with us. He'd be proud.

_____

Hence, though Zuko and Toph’s conversation displays a heartening and hopeful dynamic, Zuko is ultimately still guarded for the majority of their conversation. Now, let’s look at how Katara approaches Zuko in the Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

_____

Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters Dialogue:

Katara: Are you okay?

Zuko: No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?

Katara: Zuko, you're sorry for what you did, right?

Zuko: More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.

_____

In direct contrast to the conversation opener with Toph, Katara begins to engage Zuko with an openly concerned question. And even though Katara never disappointed an Iroh-figure in her life in the way Zuko has, Zuko immediately doesn’t close himself off from her, he doesn’t create a wall that prevents him from revealing his deepest fears to her. During this scene, he neither sounds bitter or angry -- he sounds lost, doubtful, and afraid (perhaps even afraid to hope). This shift in tone is blatant in his voice (thanks to Dante Basco’s line delivery) but even with nothing but the written dialogue, we can note the difference in which he describes his turmoil to Toph and as compared to Katara:

With Toph: “But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

With Katara: “No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?”

With Katara, the underlying bitterness from his conversation with Toph is toned down to the point of nonexistence, though a part of it is still there. With Toph, Zuko says, “it takes all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, and shoves them back in my face,” which is a rather incensed statement. Meanwhile, by saying, “no, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it,” Zuko directly addresses his self-loathing without the use of language such as “shoves them back in my face,” the latter of which is reminiscent of how individuals may unthinkingly reveal information in a sudden emotional outburst.

Then, when Katara asks him if he’s sorry for what he did, the words come easily to Zuko, the most easily he admits to his own mistakes after three years of not admitting anything truthful to himself: “More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.”

And Katara, just as Toph did, says with the utmost confidence and sincerity, “Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

This moment of affirmation that runs parallel between both dialogues is where Zuko’s responses begin to diverge. Whereas Zuko reacts to Toph with disbelief and doubt, this is how he reacts once he hears Katara’s words:

He takes Katara’s words to heart and accepts them. Because out of all the GAang, Katara is the one who knows the most about forgiving him, who most keenly feels the change he underwent since his betrayal in the catacombs. And so he stands, still nervous but no longer afraid, facing forward towards the future instead of back into his past.

Iroh and Zuko’s relationship is one of the most important ones throughout the entire show, so to see Katara play a pivotal role in a critical point in their dynamic shows just how important Katara’s character is to Zuko (and vice versa, though in here I do touch upon the former in more detail).

Although my analysis on the self-disclosure between Zuko and Katara may have run away from me a bit (due to my love for far-too-in-depth critical analysis), these all show an undeniable bond between Zuko and Katara, displaying a profound friendship rooted in narrative parallels, mutual understanding, and interwoven character arcs. Ultimately, their fulfillment of perceived similarities, pair rapport, and (the one I rambled most on) self-disclosure is what establishes Zuko and Katara as not just a strong platonic bond -- but one that has the potential to transition into a romantic one.

Thus concludes my essay on Zutara’s friendship and its connection with the initial stages of intimacy that are shared between both platonic and romantic bonds. After all that analysis, it would be remiss to simply dismiss the Zutara dynamic as one that would instantly become toxic should they pursue a romantic relationship.

That being said, I will explore the possibility of a romantic relationship between Zuko and Katara and how this connects to the latter stages of intimacy -- role-taking, interpersonal role fit, and dyadic crystallization -- in part 2 of this meta-analysis. Click on the link if you want to read it!

Part 2

Works Cited

(only partially in MLA 8 format because I want to live a little)

Close Relationships: A Sourcebook. By Clyde A. Hendrick & Susan S. Hendrick. Link

“Nonverbal behavior in intimate interactions and intimate relationships.” By P.A Andersen, Laura K. Guerrero, & Susanne M. Jones. Link

“On Becoming ‘More Than Friends’: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship.” By Laura K. Guerrero & Paul A. Mongeau. Link

The Psychology of Intimacy (The Guilford Series on Personal Relationships). By Karen J. Prager. Link

(If you check some of these links, you may note a few of these sources have been cited quite a few times. With just a bit more research, it appears possible to find a plethora of other sources to corroborate the theory of shared platonic-romantic intimacies.)

Thank you all for reading!

[cornerofcaelest]

Platonic Toko and Byakuya Things!

Oops so now I have Toko and Byakuya on the brain. I know people have said almost anything and everything about this, but I wanted to add some stuff and ramble a bit! Toko and Byakuya both mean sooo much to me as characters and the idea of them some day actually getting along has my entire heart and soul.

Spoilers for Trigger Happy Havoc and Ultra Despair Girls!

So obviously we need some time here, right. Listen I love them both but they need time apart and such; this doesn't happen overnight

I need some of that sweet, sweet Toko development first. Y'know once she stops idolizing them and sees them as an actual human being. Also how badly they treated her and vice versa. Basically, we need to throw out the entire dynamic and start fresh

Mutual apologies should probably happen and to be quite honest, I've wanted to write that out for months, but I can't decide exactly when or how it would happen, so I haven't. But I love the idea to bits.

Anyways AFTER all of that gets squared away, I genuinely think they'd make amazing friends in a weird way

They're both sarcastic, sharp, and cocky depending on the circumstance.

Like yes, Toko is e x t r e m e l y insecure, but never once does she put down her skills, and on some level, she has moments where she displays pride and confidence, too.

And to be honest, isn't Byakuya insecure, too? They just don't express it in the same ways as Toko. Chapter 4 tings, ya know?

The sheer levels of sass between the two of them is iconic, and if they ever were aiming that sass at the same target, they wouldn't survive.

Gay best friends

I'm one of those people that headcanons Toko as a lesbian with a whole lotta comphet, and tbh I imagine something similar for Byakuya. Less comphet and more not understanding what attraction is even supposed to feel like until catching feelings for a guy for the first time. Absolutely primed and ready to force themselves into relationships with women for the sake of their family's tradition before realizing it's definitely not supposed to feel that uncomfortable.

Weirdly enough they have a lot in common. I don't know if they'd ever get super close, but in the event that they did, they'd be able to relate to each other on a lot of levels.

Also the discussions of literature mmMMM good shit.

Not that they ever have a ton of free time but in the event that they do, they could probably pass a lot of time just getting into healthy debates over interpretations of things

From the outside, it looks like they're about ready to murder each other, but they can go back to being civil on a dime

Also Byakuya giving some of Toko's stuff a chance just? Hits different?

Bro especially once Byakuya ends up in a relationship because I feel like then you can get a new appreciation for that type of thing. The cheesy shit feels a bit less stupid

Listen they hate that they like it but they do like it

speaking of dating y’ALL THE DOUBLE DATES??

Komaru would get super excited about it which would make Makoto super excited about it and both Toko and Byakuya don’t know how to say no.

In laws in laws in laws

Hello Naegami Tokomaru nation how are you doing

Damn honestly it’d just be cool if they got along. It’d be really, really neat if what remains of their class could all get along as a group. Mutual healing type beat

Gosh now I’m imagining Toko, Byakuya, Makoto, Kyoko, and Komaru watching a movie together while Toko and Byakuya just rip the entire story to shreds

(Kyoko tries to stay quiet, but she does eventually join in. Albeit with a bit more composure and grace than the other two)

Komaru and Makoto are just glad to see them getting along

This is very very specific, and who knows, maybe I’ll actually write this as a fic at one point, but I have an oddly specific headcanon regarding the events of UDG and Genocide Jack and such

With the events of the first killing game being broadcast, Genocide Jack’s identity obviously becomes public, and that would cause a lot of extreme consequences for the system as a whole.

After she actually heals (ACTUALLY as an individual, not just Toko trying to control her switches) and genuinely decides to turn over a new leaf, I think Byakuya is the one who gets her, and by extension Toko, out of hot water.

They’re way too prideful to ever outright thank Toko and Jill for saving them, but in their own special, standoffish way, that’s how they return the favor- giving them that sort of Togami stamp of approval and speaking to their credibility overall

It all has a very professional air to it; however, it's the start of a rocky but good friendship

Overall that’s just how their friendship works in my head: they start spending more time together through other obligations or their significant others, and they come to the realization that they actually enjoy each other’s company when they aren’t verbally abusing and sexually harassing each other :'D

I think once they both do some serious healing, they could be really good for each other as friends. They'd get along better than both initially would think.

Thanks for reading my little rambles! I hope you enjoyed them! Hopefully I’ll write more about their dynamic someday soon. Like I said, I love them both dearly, so it’s fun to imagine!

[smp-live]

Was scrolling through c!Wilbur crit blogs again and it got me thinking about why exactly I argue in favour of him so much so here’s a random ramble (that got long) about it:

Most c!Wilbur critics (at least, in the tag, not directly post-lore stream. The ones that do actual analysis on him) are like... really reasonable about it, actually, lmao. Like it’s mostly just calling him a bad person because of power hunger/manipulation/being a bad dad/whatever else. (Not talking about antis. I mean people who are really critical of him, but recognize that he’s a well-crafted character with nuance.)

Which I agree with! I consider myself an apologist, my writing and analysis leans really sympathetic, and I still agree that he’s a shitty rat bastard that I would run far away from irl. Even at the beginning of the story, he’s very morally grey, sometimes using underhanded persuasion tactics, doing ehh things like stealing, and it only gets worse from there.

But on the other hand, he’s... not that bad. Like I saw one person say about c!Dream, “My reaction to most critique of him is... so what?” and that’s how I feel about c!Wilbur, I suppose. Yeah, he tried to rig an election - but it was a last-ditch effort at not going full dictator, he didn’t follow through, and later on he - in part - decided to blow it up because they couldn’t get it back while being democratic. And yeah, he manipulated people - all in all, it wasn’t really really bad things, mostly to paint himself in a better light because of his insecurities, and people sometimes fall into manipulative language without even outwardly realizing that it’s a shitty thing to do. Of course, that shows a bigger underlying problem in their mindset and the way they interpret relationships and possession, but then that’s a different discussion - and definitely one that applies to c!Wilbur.

(Not saying he doesn’t ever intentionally manipulate people. I think that a. sometimes it might be accidental, (”If you wanna be President you’re gonna have to get on my good side,” mans was Not thinking straight,) and b. other times he falls into old habits/coping mechanisms that happen to be manipulation, (Tommy at Las Nevadas.) Other than the election and maybe some times in the early founding of L’Manberg, I can’t think of any moments where I’m like, “Yeah, he is Purposefully Manipulating here.” And even then, it just doesn’t strike me as a terrible thing. People manipulate, it’s a thing they do. That’s it. A morally grey action.)

And I think the majority of the reason I make more posts painting him in a positive light and don’t really discuss my critique of him is because it feels like the fandom has an overwhelming bias of hatred/crit, even if a lot of that isn’t, y’know, proper analysis of his character. I instinctively want to balance it out for this character I love/relate to, because a lot of what I see straight-up ignores the lighter side of his moral-greyness.

Like, a while back, I posted a couple clips from late-election arc, of Wilbur talking about how he feels about Fundy siding with Quackity and against him. And the way I initially saw it while watching was, “Okay. He feels betrayed by his son who disagrees with his politics - and thus, him as a person, because your politics are a reflection of your identity, especially in Wilbur’s mind - and it’s perfectly understandable that he’d want to vent about that in private to a close friend. On the other hand, he should be able to recognize that Fundy’s allowed to be his own person and shouldn’t be babied. Fundy is in the right, here, but Wilbur’s feelings shouldn’t be dismissed.”

But then 90% of the tags were just straight-up hate for c!Wilbur, going as far as to say that he should die again. (And this was after we found out how bad the afterlife was for him.) That fucking floored me. I just couldn’t understand how they took this nuanced character aching for ‘the son he knew’ back (hm. very similar to c!Phil, actually) and turned it into ‘wow. This suicidal man sucks and should maybe die.’ I was so close to making a post defending him before realizing - I was letting fandom bias against a character push me further onto the sympathetic side.

And that’s such a fuckin’ weird thing to have happen, because you’d think that exposure to negativity about a character would make you feel more negative about them? But without fail, every time I scroll through the crit tag, or read a critical post about c!Wilbur/L’Manberg, I maybe lean a bit more towards that side for a few hours before swinging back hard onto the apologist side. Because a lot of the critique, to me, is really just, “so what?” after I let it stew a bit.

Then there’s the whole mental health issue. Obviously it doesn’t excuse the shit he did - I know people who have been in the middle of breakdowns and the stuff they say still fucking hurts, even if they didn’t truly mean it. But recognizing that he needs help? That for pretty much all his time on-screen, he was depressed and paranoid, which obviously affects the way he acts? That’s obvious. And were he in the position to get professional help - which he deserves - everything would be much better off. That’s the root of my apologism, I think: He deserves to get better. He’s not inherently evil, or bad, just a fucked up little man who’s ruined his own life and needs help. I want to see him, specifically him, get better.

Narratively, his punishment has been extreme and disproportionate. Every mistake, every choice - good or bad - has led to suffering, on his part. Start a fun little rebellion, maybe to gain some power? War and betrayal. Declare an election to consolidate said power? Lose, and get exiled. Blow up a nation? Die, and even in the afterlife, he can't catch a break. Purely as a sympathetic human, it feels like he deserves to rest. Deserves to heal.

But even medicated and less anxious, or going to therapy for his neuroticism and depression, or whatever, he still would be quite morally grey. A lot of his manipulation, his power hunger, comes from this neuroticism; from needing to feel safe and needed, (just like Quackity.) Not all of it, though. He’d still have his unhealthy ideals about relationships and possession, for example. Less prominent, sure, but still there. Some people, I feel, discount how tied up with his mental illness it is, while others don’t really recognize that it’s also a personality problem. Like, changing those beliefs is changing part of who he fundamentally is, as a person.

Actually, I think the c!Wilbur apologist community, in general, tends to scapegoat his mental illness a little too much? Not in that we explain his actions with it or ask people not to villainize it, (although sometimes I feel that what we call villainizing mental illness is a bit excessive, but it’s not my place to talk about that as someone who doesn’t really relate to Pogtopia!Wilbur,) but in that we use it in discussions a lot. Which is fair, because it permeates every single aspect of his character, but even without it he’d have toxic traits? Like his possessiveness is not purely a byproduct of his mental illness, imo. Nor is his treatment of Fundy. It’s amplified by it, surely, but that little seed of it is there in the first place. Just as c!Dream’s abuse needs to be addressed as a central part of his character, c!Wilbur’s possessiveness does too - and also outside of the context of their mental health, because they’re both brought on by an internal personality flaw, some fucked-up belief, if that makes sense.

As I said before: c!Wilbur is a mess of a human being that I would hate if I actually met. (irl I would’ve been a SWAG supporter, based on policies, but since this is fiction, I was POG.) But because he’s a character, that flies out the window, and I can love him - not even just as a character, in the sense that I appreciate he’s well-crafted, but in terms of personality and all that shit, while recognizing he’s a kinda crappy guy. Because he’s a character. That’s the fun of it.

[the-writers-bookshelf]

hello there! it's the castor and reed anon. i'm going to be super busy this weekend, so i hope you don't mind if i send this in early :)

basically, i've been doing a lot of writing (at least for me), when usually i can't put words on the page at all! has any of it been productive work that furthers my story? ...not really? but i love writing one or two thousand words about something random. i'll drop some excerpts from what i've written with a little context!

this first one has no purpose, but it was still cool to lay out natalia's mindset. i didn't realize how insecure she was about being herself until writing this.

Well, now that I think about it, I guess I'm less bothered by the adults. The problem is kids my age. I know I haven't outgrown a lot of the things they have, and I don't know if it'll happen at all.

I remember when I was sitting on the bench with Ashton when a little boy came up and tagged me. Obviously, I wasn't going to spoil it for him, so I started chasing him and was just able to grab his shoulder when two teenage girls from my high school walked past. I stopped dead in my tracks like a statue. They didn't say anything directly to me, but if looks could kill, they would.

second one is part of a concept for haven, and will hopefully become an actual part of the story. natalia visits her older brother's grave, who didn't even pass away that long ago, but most of the people in the neighborhood have already stopped sending flowers and condolences. her best friend/brother figure is there with her.

"It's sad how the moment you're dead, people decide to forget about you."

"And no one really remembers you when you're alive, either..."

and for this last one, explaining it is complicated. it's not haven related. i always use first person perspective for stories, but this is the first time that i wrote "i" to mean me. this is from a short project where i explore my childhood home with a comfort character of mine, and though it feels silly, long story short, i'm kind of writing it to help heal a childhood wound. it's already working, too! it's the first time i let myself write without really thinking or editing much.

I focus my attention back onto my friend at the tap of my shoulder. He beckons me to follow him with a motion of his hand, and by the direction we head in, I can put the pieces together of what brings him here. He took a left turn, approaching the miniature field of wheat. I believe he's looking for an area of the river without such a steep embankment, which means he's in luck, but only if he's willing to stomach the sensation of tall grass scratching his calves. I never enjoyed that. Especially when it sticks to your damp skin on the way back, because what's a trip down to the creek without wading?

I walk through the wheat first, begrudgingly. He joins with a similar mentality. Once the wheat becomes more sparse and leads toward a patch of land on the creek's level, stones outlining its sides, we're relieved of the itchiness and approach a tree. It stretches to the sky with a significant, sturdy limb hanging over us like an archway. I'd always thought it'd be a good place to put a tire swing. I'd always wanted to sit on top of there, but never could.

An idea strikes me as I step closer to its trunk. Why don't the two of us climb it today?

I'm not much stronger than I was at eleven, and the same can be said about my friend. In fact, we both have stories about our fear of heights. Grabbing the base of the tree and staring upwards seems to have him catch on, so he gives me a glance that says he's unsure. That's understandable. I kneel down as a gesture to help boost him up, then smile in a way to show it's an offer he's free to decline. He gives himself time to think before finally stepping forward, placing his foot on my hands, and I raise him up with all the strength I can muster. After some scrambling, he plants himself between its limbs and reaches a hand toward me. I grip his wrist to allow him to yank me upward and find myself with a bird's eye view of my childhood backyard. We pant from the exercise.

i've also been drawing more than usual, and playing more piano, so i guess it's been a creative week overall! i'm glad.

YAY for a creative week overall!! That's fantastic!!!

I also love love love how you're exploring your self-expression through your writing and using it as a way to heal! That's wonderful!

Your writing flows incredibly well and smoothly and it's a joy to read! Fantastic job! ♥