#He immediately started telling me about how careful he had to be with his digestion due to his weak constitution

[twstedstoryshop]

Prize for @windalchemist001 from my fan event in August. I apologize deeply to the prize winners for how long these are taking as my life is taken up a lot by my new job and that drains me of working on these. But these are slowly but surely coming along, I assure you. Until then, please bear with me. -Shopkeep

Finding Out You Have A Crush On Him

Trey I believe would come to figure out your crush through overheard conversations or someone having to spell it out for him. Either due to Ace and Deuce unknowingly gossiping over your crush or Cater just straight up telling him in his own Cay-Cay way.

Now Trey wasn’t a romanticist at heart, especially considering how he blundered with the Ghost Bride way back when. So with this newfound knowledge, Trey would do the best thing he can think of… Sit on this knowledge and never let it surface.

What else is he supposed to do? Go charging up to you, declaring he likes you too and should totally start dating? That wouldn’t be fair to you, putting you on the spot.

Instead, he allows you to let you sort out your feelings, whether you pursue them or not. There’s no pressure in whatever choice you do.

Though it wouldn’t be too hard to notice on your end that Trey would start acting a bit awkward and stiff. He doesn’t mean to come off like that, but when in the face of someone he knows who likes him, he can’t help but maybe straighten his posture more. Maybe act a bit more softer.

Trey is always marked as the reliable older brother type. So with a highschool crush on him, it wouldn’t hurt to maybe act a little like his age. An awkward boy unsure of how to navigate this newfound affection. Who knows, maybe act a bit selfish and roll a little in your attention just for him alone.

Malleus could either or having someone tell him about your crush. Most likely Lilia in his teasing ways. Or perhaps with his keener senses, noticed your affections for him.

With the knowledge of your crush, Malleus would feely content in the way a satisfied cat would smirk after finishing its creme. It would be hard not to catch Malleus’ very good mood for the following days.

The weather would be pleasant, not a single cloud in the sky, and the wind is gentle. Something that may or may not catch some of NRC’s attention, especially if it’s expected to be cold or rainy weather for the season.

Malleus, while eager, would wait with baited breath to see what his dear child of man would do to convey their love. It gives him a great satisfaction to be wanted and chased after, so he would want to hear it from you first.

Even if you have stutters or slip-ups, Malleus finds it all so endearing and locks your attempts of confession under lock and key in his memory. What he wouldn’t allow is if someone dares to interrupt you when you’re working up the courage to tell your feelings.

A quick thunderclap and a venomous glare gets his point across before he immediately looks back to you with a softened expression. “You were saying, my dear child of man?”

It would be a relatively peaceful courtship until the confession is made thanks to some sway from the dragon prince himself.

Silver would definitely have to be told outright of your feelings. For comedy’s sake, it would be hilarious if the one who had to spell things out for him was Sebek of all people.

The loud-mouthed proud guard would be aghast of how oblivious Silver was. The fact that he could pinpoint something beyond Silver’s recognition has him smug one moment but also a little annoyed for your sake. Not that he would ever admit that.

Once Silver truly digested Sebek’s words, Silver’s handsome features would burst into a magnificent shade of pink. Flushed either from embarrassment over his crude unawareness and a part deeply flattered by your affection.

Silver wouldn’t make any moves though as you mulled over your feelings. He wouldn’t dare try to put you on the spot, but you do notice how lately he feels a bit more caring and gentleman-ly personally for you.

If Malleus or Lilia didn’t need him, Silver would often escort you wherever you needed to go despite you knowing your way around. He even tries to lend a hand in helping you study. Despite his own grades suffering a bit with his sleeping habits.

Silver would be uncertain about all this though, truth be spoken. He’s never really had romantic feelings before or felt much need for a romance in the first place. But the idea that someone liked him so innocently and sincerely does charm him profoundly.

Like a shy forest creature, daring to come near him and be in his presence, he only wished to offer his hand towards you. Who knows, maybe falling a lil bit in love wouldn’t be so bad during his high school days…

[appleblueberry-pie]

Hello again, I hope you are doing well. I was wondering if you are still open for requests. If so, may I please request for Yandere Nanami wherein his precious captive darling is sick and refuses to be nursed by him

I am 4ever open for requests. I am grateful for the meal. It shall be digested properly.

Let Me Take Care of You.

note: You guys ever been so sick you started crying???

You both knew that this shouldn't go on for any longer. You knew you should've given in a long, long time ago. You've never felt so....terrible from a sickness before. You've never felt this helpless. Weak. But you showing weakness wasn't what destroyed you. You could care less if you looked helpless because the pain and struggle was just that great. You couldn't eat. You could only down liquids and, fuck, you really couldn't speak either. Your lower back hurt. Your arms hurt. Your sides hurt. Your neck hurt. You couldn't rest properly because of the pain. And on top of that, you were extremely fatigued, and dizzy.

During the daytime, you would overheat and even the thinnest shirts with wide-open windows could cool you. But at night, the slightest crack in the window with the millions of blankets you had on top of you couldn't warm you up. It was hell on Earth. And Kento couldn't bare to sit back and watch you struggle any longer. You were his sweetheart. His baby. His everything. And you wouldn't let him help you. It was driving him insane. In the morning, he would watch you move at a snails pace into the kitchen to refill your glass with water. You would avoid eye contact. If he told you good morning, you would reply. But your voice trembled when you spoke, as if it was a task to even make noise. It made him put his newspapers down in extreme concern. But still, you wouldn't let him help you. Take care of you.

It was when he came back for work that he decided he had enough. He thought about it the entire time he was on the clock. He took you in for a reason. He vowed to himself that he would never neglect you and would always take care of you. Yes, he wanted you to be comfortable around him, and yes, he allowed you to set some barriers between the two of you, but you were so sick.

When he walked in the door, all of the lights were off and it was slightly stuffy. The windows were all closed and you obviously didn't eat, seeing the empty kitchen sink with no dirty dishes. He sighs and makes his way to the bathroom. He goes to turn on the light when he hears the soft sound of sobbing from the bedroom. He freezes and turns towards the bedroom door, walking over to sneakily place his ear on it. You're crying. Kento knocks on the door. "Y/n?" Immediately, the sound stops. "Can I come in, please?" You sigh shakily underneath the covers. How the fuck did he hear you? You tell him no. The door creaks open and he softly closes the door behind him.

He walks around to your side of the bed and kneels down to see your puffy face, wet with tears. It breaks his heart knowing he was gone and couldn't comfort you when you were crying like this. "Hey, what's wrong?" He rubs your arm above the blankets and you sniffle. "It's nothing. Please leave me alone." God, you sounded like you were in pain. You could almost see a vein popping out of his neck. You were beginning to stress him out. "Y/n." You shook your head. "No."

His eye twitched and he got into a more comfortable sitting position on the floor. "Sweetie, you know I told you not to keep secrets. Can you please tell me what has you so upset?" It was so painfully obvious what was wrong. There were used tissues scattered on the ground, you had so many blankets, and he could see your sunken in face.

"You're sick."

You used the energy you didn't have to try and turn the other way. You only managed to get yourself onto your back. It was silent between the two of you. You closed your eyes and tried to focus on not crying again, but it was just too much. You didn't want his help. He ruined your life. Kidnapped you, erased your public image, got rid of your phone number. You had nothing but him. You didn't want him. You ignored him. You tried to ignore him. He's right here for you and you just can't help but realize he's quite literally all that you have. It's so humiliating how you have to depend on the only person who you hate that is willingly giving himself to you like this.

A terrible sob rips itself out of your chest and you cover your face with your hands, a migraine reappearing at the strain you place on yourself once more. "I know I'm sick. I fucking know!" You couldn't even properly yell at him, too tired to even try. He frowns, and kneels on the floor, closer to the edge of the bed. "Then why don't you let me take care of you?" He wants to wipe your face of the tears, wipe the sweat off of your forehead. Feel you again. But he's scared he'll stress you out even more.

His hand almost hovers over your face as you cry. Your sad sigh of pain gives him the courage he needs to gently bring the back of his index finger over your face. He wipes a tear that falls down your cheek before bringing his other hand to wipe the other side completely. You let him. His touch was so very gentle. As if he didn't want to scare you away. "I can take care of you...." I am capable, he wanted to add that on. He loved you so much. He would rather fight a thousand curses before seeing you in this state again. He will do almost anything for you. Anything to see you happy. See you smile. He wanted to be fully yours. And he will do anything to prove that to you. Your eyes flutter open when he's done and you look over at him sadly.

Your eyes, so beautiful and beguiling, give him the softest look he's ever gotten from you. It makes his heart skip a beat and he sits up straighter. He would smile at you, but now is obviously not the time for that. "How do you feel? Do you want me to bring you medicine? Are you still in pain?" You look away before making eye contact with him again and nodding. He nods back and responds, "Okay. I will bring you some medicine and more water to drink." He wipes stray hairs off of your face, realizing how much you had to neglect yourself to rest. "I will make you beef stew, as well. You might be hungry, and your body needs energy to survive. I won't let you drink just water. Hopefully you will finish it all, and by then, maybe I could get you cleaned up, if you allow me to." You stare at him silently. He was offering to help you get better. You honestly don't remember the last time anyone has done that for you. But even then, he was still your kidnapper. Still, though, what were you going to do, say no? You hesitate before nodding to him. His face finally softens and he caresses your cheek one more time before forcing himself to stop.

"I love you." A weight is lifted off of his chest when he says those words. He wanted to say it to you in a better moment, but any moment is a good moment rather than when it's too late. He doesn't let you respond and gets up to leave and make you stew, a new fervor in his stride.

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

Thoughts and feelings about Izzy in s2ep4 and what it means to me as a fellow disabled person:

Yeah, so, that episode, huh?

You know, I already knew going into this new season that Izzy's storyline is going to hit me hard regardless of the exact little plot points it might have, but it's only now, several hours after I've watched eps 4&5 that I'm really starting to digest what his story means to me in it's current shape. This is... a bit long. I also mention a character from a different show - Isaac from Sex Education.

Izzy has always been a bit of a dick, right? That's the reason a lot of people hated him in the first season.

Well, now he is a bit of a dick and disabled. And let me tell you how fucking ecstatic I am about that.

You see, looking for disabled characters in media I consume has rarely been gratifying - if they are there at all, which already is rare, they have very little to do, and if they're even semi-important, they're almost always the epitomes of goodness. Nice, understanding, quiet, patient.

Barely there.

The first time I truly felt something change in this area was with the appearance of Isaac in Netflix's Sex Education. He's sarcastic, funny, talented, honest and mean.

The fandom of that show hated Isaac, let me tell you.

It was mostly because he took direct action to separate the main ship of the show that had many people obsessed. As you'd expect. People's ableism immediately jumped out. As you'd expect.

Because how dare he have his own motivations and wants, and to do what he thinks is right?

Barely there.

And now we have Izzy. Izzy, who also did what he thought was right, which in s1 of the show was trying to separate Ed and Stede. He wasn't trying to make himself too likeable at any point (well. when the crew almost mutinied on him in s1 he did do a last ditch effort but. you remember how well that went).

My point is that now we have someone who isn't particularly nice, and now he's dealing with a sudden loss of ability in his body, which is going to make him even worse. He's angry! Of course he is! He's hobbling around with half a leg gone, humiliated, exhausted, barely recovered from impromptu amputation, no anesthesia. And a suicide attempt! He's angry at himself, his body, at Ed, at Stede, at God if he still believes in one, and who knows who else.

He isn't suddenly going to become nicer to people just because. He doesn't need to be humbled.

(a little sidenote: I do not accept the reasoning that Izzy somehow deserved to lose his leg, that "oh what did he expect riling up Ed when he was heartbroken?" etc. He wasn't expecting to get shot in the fucking leg. Nobody fucking deserves that, and if you think that Ed shooting him in the leg and Izzy subsequently having to have it amputated was an "appropriate punishment" for "what he's done", you're just cruel and wrong. Now scram.)

But that's the point. Disabled people deserve help regardless of whether or not we are nice.

Thankfully (not from Izzy's point of view - his pride was definitely bruised in that moment) the crew saw him struggle, and acted in kind. Because Izzy is their dick. And now - also their unicorn.

And it means so much to me that we get the representation of disabled people who thrash around and rattle the bars of their societal cages, furious at the world that isn't welcoming to us, and receive love and care and an invitation to a loving community regardless.

We shouldn't have to be here just when ableds are ready to give. We aren't meek vessels for your good will. Izzy is such a painfully realistic (as far as the universe of the show permits, given it's unavoidable goofiness) portrayal of the anger of someone who's lost some of their body's past ability, and how one might deal with it.

And I really wanted to say something about that, because I'm afraid it might get lost in the discussion about the more popular and more easily digestible aspects of the show.

[harlowsbby]

Routines 💘

“Baby, come on baby I’m tired and I just wanna sleep already.” Jack pouted while you dragged him into the hotel bathroom.

The thing with you was you didn’t care what city or country you were in you were going to make sure you had a night time routine. With running around with Jack all day you needed a few minutes to just take care of yourself.

Jack on the other hand didn’t care for it all he needed was a quick shower and he was good but tonight you were forcing him to do your routine.

“It’ll be real quick Jack we just need to do some face care and drink some lemon water and we’ll be all set.” You told him but he wasn’t having it.

“Lemon water? What is lemon water going to do for me babe please enlighten me.” He stated as he sat on the edge of the bath tub watching as you took a few of your skincare products out your travel bag.

“Lemon water actually has a lot of benefits it gives you more hydration, clearer skin and better digestion.” You told him as you stood in front of him and started applying your green tea mask to his face.

“Is that right baby? Who would’ve thought my girl was a dermatologist now.” He joked and smacked your lips. “Stay still I need to apply this before it dries.” You scolded him softly but nonetheless he sat still and rested his hands on your waist and watched how you carefully and steadily applied the mask to his face.

Jack would never admit to but he loved moments like this with you at times he got busy and wasn’t able to give you all of his undivided attention but he had to admit doing this silly little night routine with you had his heart fluttering.

You stood back and smiled in approval at your work Jack stood up to inspect himself in the mirror. “I look like a bird shit on my face babe.” You chuckled at him. “Whatever but you won’t be saying all that when your got that glass skin now will you?”

“Glass skin? Baby can you start speaking English what is glass skin?” You sighed you weren’t sure how you ended up with a man as slow as Jack at times.

“Glass skin like your skin is going to look flawless with no imperfection or anything.” He stood there confused still not fully understanding.

“Let’s just go get some lemon water.” You took his hand and dragged him into the little living room era of the suite.

He looked at the bag of lemons on the table with a confused expression he wasn’t exactly sure how you got those but he knew better than to question it. You poured the two of you glasses of iced cold water before chopping up the lemons and squeezing them in the water.

“Here and make sure you drink it all.” You demanded. “Yes mother.” He stated sarcastically before drinking the water, his tongue immediately flew out his mouth and his face scrunched up.

“This shit is nasty baby I’m not drinking this.”

“Yes you are.” You told him. “No I’m not.” He argued back. “I already did the face mask and drank half of this so I’m good.” You rolled your eyes and finished up your drink.

“Let’s go wash off our mask.” After the two of you washed off your mask you made your way into bed. Jack laid down with your laying on his chest and touching his face.

“See your skin feels so much softer now.”

“So my skin wasn’t softer before?” He asked.

“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it Jack I saw you smiling when I was applying your mask.” His cheeks heated up a bit when he realized you caught him.

“It was nice, just don’t tell the guys alright? The last thing I need is for Urban and Sunni to be making jokes about it.”

Jack loved this friends he did but hated how they always called him a simp whenever it came to doing things with you, he knew for a fact you had him wrapped around your finger but he didn’t care because seeing you happy was the only thing that mattered.

“I promise I won’t.” You lied because when he wasn’t looking you snapped a quick picture and sent it to Urban who of course showed Sunni along with everyone else.

“Let’s get some sleep yeah? I’m tired.” He grumbled and turned off the light.

“I love you baby.” He tiredly mumbled and rested his head on-top of your head.

“I love you more Jack.” You stated and pressed a kiss to his bare chest before falling in a deep and peaceful sleep.

(Just something that came into my head 😭💘 I got more stuff coming soon)

[androgynousblackbox]

How I Met Your Father. 3 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

A03 link

"Ssssoo, let me get this sstraight" started out Sir Pentious, their newest resident at the hotel, after taking a zip from the glass that Husk had just served him at the bar. "You mean to tell me that Alassstor, one of my oldest archnemessis, actually had a daughter all along. Who wass the princess of hell. Because he wass married all along to Lucifer and nobody knew about it. And that iss why he iss here at the hotel."

"Yeah, pretty much you got it" confirmed Husk, serving a new martini for Angel.

"And when I ssigned to sstay here, I alsso signed away any chance to ever tell it to anyone because no one should know for ssome reasson" added the snake man, trying to digest that information. Now it made sense why Charlie had insisted on the "not talk about my family outside of his hotel, I am sorry, please, I tried to change it but now I can't, just please don't do it" when he had the contract in front of him.

"Or you lose the ability to speak, text, corse mode or whatever else ever again" confirmed Angel. "Kinda paranoid if you ask me, but what are you gonna do? Still beats paying rent."

Sir Pentious looked pensative, lost in thought. After a while he finally reached to the one true question he wanted to ask.

"How?"

"How what?" Husk took a drink from his own bottle.

"I mean, that guy?" Sir Pentious turned around to see Alastor on the opposite side of the living room, taking a cup of coffee while gently moving his feet at the tune playing on the radio at his side. If it wasn't for the shadows dancing all around his little corner with cruel mocking smiles it could have been a peaceful picture. He quickly turned again when he could feel some of the shadows looking at him back. "Am I the only one who doessn't undersstand how he landed with Lucifer of all people? Nobody hass sseen the king in agess. I even heard rumorss of people thinking he had died yearss ago."

"Mmm, you know, that is not a bad question" Angel looked over to Husk. "Any input from your side, kitty?"

"Call me kitty again and see what happens" grumbled Husk, with a frown.

"Fine, fine. For the sake of science. Husk. Would you mind sharing the tea of what the fuck is up with smiley face?"

"You think I have a fucking clue of what that guy does or doesn't do? I have none" Husk also threw a glare to the corner of Alastor, that of course Alastor immediately returned with a friendly wave. Fucking bastard. "One day he called me over to bartend on some bullshit dance club he had set up in the palace with a new ring on his finger and saying he wanted to dance with his husband. When I asked what the hell was he talking about, he quite literally told me to mind my own business. I thought he had finally lost his god damn mind until I saw Lucifer appear with him using a matching ring. Next thing I know he is summoning me again to take care of a toddler he had apparently made so they could go on a date. Not a single explanation of where that toddler even came from, how it happened or why was he even calling me. Do I even look like a fucking babysitter?"

"You do look soft and huggable" commented Angel, looking him down and up. The comment, for once, didn't even seem to have a sexual innuendo, just a mere observation. "I can see kids liking that."

Husk rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. The point I was trying to get at, I am just as clueless as everyone else. I asked Charlie once if she knew how her parents met and she just said that I should ask them, because she thinks they tell the story so much better."

"But there is a story" Angel smiled, swiveling from side to side on his chair. "Oh, I bet it involves a dungeon somewhere. Can you imagine that is how they met? The king with a secret taste for BDSM finding his match there? Being the king has to create such a great pressure. Lots of powerful people relax with a good beating at the hands of someone else. I can see something like that happening. And wouldn't you know it, our smiley friends loves to give a good beating too. Now that would be a good movie I would watch."

Husk stared at him like he, too, had lost his entire mind. Then he seemed to think better about it and reclined on the bar. Truth be told, it was also the first time he got to talk about this with someone else since Alastor had also put the same condition of silence on him and Niffty.

"No, no, you know what? I bet there was some kind of contract involved. I just don't buy that guy getting romantic with anyone without a motive."

"I concord with Hussk there" added Sir Pentious, nodding. "He just doessn't sstrike me ass the romantic type either. Maybe it wass a form of blackmail over the king? Ssomething to hold againsst him unless he complied?"

"Mmm, that can be hot too" considered Angel. "But having a kid for a blackmail? Kinda extreme, doesn't it? And didn't you just said that they went on dates and what not? Isn't that too much effort for the bit?"

"Anyone can go out in dates with anyone, that doesn't meant that they aren't hiding something" Husk was getting more convinced of his own words the more he spoke. "And listen, you don't know the guy for as long I do. He would do anything to get what he wants. I once saw him devouring a guy just to get his coat. Playing the role of caring hubby just to get something out of it is not really out of the realm of possibilities. And there is a lot to gain from the king of hell himself."

"Jeez, okay, I got it, romance is dead and you killed it" Angel swivelled again, turning around. Charlie now was talking with Alastor about something. All the shadows had dissapeared and it was just the radio demon hanging to her every word. "I am just saying, if that is acting then that is one hell of an actor right there. And I should know as the only one with a job in front of a camera."

"Well, perhapss with Charlie iss different" conceded Sir Pentious. "It's alwayss different when it comes to your own children, I ssuppose."

"I don't know" Husk crossed his arms, trying to think of any sign of Alastor having anything else than affection for his daughter and, if he had to be honest, he was coming out with nothing. But that could also be entirely an ego thing to preserve his own legacy or something along those lines. "Well, fine, maybe. I still won't believe for a second that Alastor just so happened to end up with Lucifer out of the goodness of his heart. I just would like to know what he did to convince the king to go along with that plan."

"Maybe he is just really good at seduction" offered Angel. "And the king was so lonely, with his million of bucks in that huge empty castle and no one to share it with. Damn, I can almost see it. Smiley coming up with all the aces under his sleeves and charming him to his feet. The poor guy didn't stand a chance."

"For the guy who invented temptation? You think he would be that desperate?"

"Hell yeah, why not? I have seen uglier people pocketting hotter partners all the time. Charm and the right words will get you very far, Husky. Which reminds me to ask you, is Lucifer hot? I always pictured him with this massive and thick bulg…"

"Charlie, dear!" Sir Pentious said it louder than neccesary for the two of them to drop the subject already as the princess was approaching them. Alastor himself was nowhere to be seen. "We were jusst talking… about…"

"My favorite dildo broke and I got to buy a new one. Sad hours here."

Husk lifted both his hands in a clear request to know why the hell was Angel like that, while Sir Pentious looked about ready to offer himself to the exorcists. Angel shrugged in response. It was the very first thing that came to his mind. Charlie froze a moment in place, blushing before she regained her train of thought.

"Oh, well. For as fascinating of a topic that is, um, I was thinking that for the next exercise we could all get around in a circle tonight and talk about a happy memory that we all have!"

"That ssoundss like a lovely idea, dear."

"Whatever you say, princess."

Husk thought about it before answering.

"Is Alastor going to participate?"

"Yes, of course! I just told him about it and he is excited too."

Knowing the princess, that "excited" very well could have been polite interest.

"Mmm, you know what I was thinking, kiddo? When you were little, you always said that he was so good telling stories. I myself am not the best storyteller unfortunately. Why don't you get him to tell one of those stories for us? Maybe of how your parents end up together or something uplifting like that. To get us all in the best mood."

Charlie gasped loudly, clapping his hands against her cheeks.

"That is an amazing idea, uncle! I know everyone will love that! I will go tell him that right now!"

The moment the princess went up the stairs, probably to look for the demon back at his studio, Angel raised his glass to Husk.

"Master of subtlety, aren't ya?"

"Hey, I had to try at least once" He wasn't exactly happy for using the trust of Charlie on him like that, but he had spent decades wondering too much and wasn't going to spoil a chance when it presented itself to him. "I doubt that Alastor is going to even tell the truth with her in the room, but at least I will know what he told her about it."

"That iss besst than nothing, I guess" Sir Pentious sighed. "Do you all realizze that meanss Alasstor iss technically the king of hell too? And he jusst… doesn't do anything about it? The more I think about it, the weirder it getss."

"I am telling you, he is getting his kicks beating the king and enjoying that money. I am no sadist myself, but if the price is right I will make an exception."

Sir Pentious finished his drink and looked at his glass, as if looking the courage to say what was on his mind.

"Wanna bet?"

"Fuck yeah, bitch. How much?"

"What part of he is probably not going to say the truth in front of Charlie did not register? No kid wants to hear that their parents are together out of convenience and Alastor is not stupid enough to not know that."

"Oh, come on, whiskers, at least we can have some fun about it. Even among the bullshit we could find something true."

"You haven't seen the layers of bullshit Alastor is on."

"Hey, if you are too scared to even play, I get it. Pussy" Angel pronnounced the word like a kiss, with a smile.

Husk looked at him. Quickly, as if taking out a gun in a shooting, he took out his wallet. Oh, he would be damned if someone suggested he was too scared to play. His old pride as a gambling overlord was on the line.

"I bet you it's a completely bullshit made up story about being a meet cute, just to please Charlie."

"Now we are talking! I bet that Alastor will talk about having "especial interests" together and finding "mutual satisfaction" in each other."

"I bet itss going to involve Alasstor being the one with the initiative and the main driving force!"

Established the rates in, Husk set up the betting money on a little safe that he never used because nobody ever paid for their drinks there. All they had left to do was wait.

--

At the afternoon, they were surprised to find Alastor already sat on the couch. That alone wasn't surprising, but it was the white snake wrapped around his neck that Charlie reacted with absolute delight upon seeing it.

"Aww! And what is this doing here?" cooed, going up to the couch as the snake extended to her through Alastor's shoulder, flicking it's slitted tongue against her cheek and then it's head against her.

"Oh, this? Just a little snack for later that I found in the backyard" answered Alastor, his smile only growing bigger when the snake flicked it's tail to him, clearly pissed.

"Noooo, don't eat the little guy!" said Charlie, for some reason laughing to herself as she petted the white head, which seemed to instantly calm him down. "He is being so good right now, be nice, dad."

"Oh, well, I will consider it just because you ask, dear" Alastor chuckled, gently scratching under the chin of the snake with his claws. "After all, he is quite a lovely specimen, isn't he?"

It sounded like his words were more directed at the animal than to Charlie. The snake made a huffing motion, but end returning to wrap around Alastor's neck and settled himself there. When everyone else gathered around, Alastor accomodated on his seat petting the snake absentmindedly, letting his fingers run through the white body that looked perfectly relaxed on his place.

Charlie, in the other hand, turned to a confused Vaggie and whispered something on her ear that made her let out a silent oh. She smiled and gave a small head nod to the snake, that perked up upon seeing her, flickering his tongue.

Weird, but nobody really felt like questioning too much. After seeing a demon pulled out tentacles, shadows, musical instruments and other things out of mid air without making any effort, it was easy to just accept another oddity. At least this one wasn't deadly.

"Alright, everyone, thanks for coming!" started Charlie, as it was usual for all her bonding exercises. "Some of you have been very brave coming out today and we are so proud of you!" Charlie smiled in direction to Alastor, where the tail of the snake waggled against his coat. "As you all know, I wanted us to share a happy memory of each of us. It can be anything that you want as long it's something that makes you smile when you think about it. Does anyone want to be first? Angel?" asked when he saw the spider demon raising his hand.

Husk rolled his eyes, preparing himself to hear something about drugs or sex, probably both at the same time. Sir Pentious looked at the ceiling, brazing himself.

"One time I lost Fat Nuggets on the mall" started Angel. "I was like crazy looking for him everywhere. After a while I saw that he was waiting for me in the entrance with my phone in his mouth. I had been so focused in finding him, that I haven't even notice at all I had lost my phone even before coming in. It almost made me shit my pants, but it was also nice to see how smart he is."

The room stayed silent for a full second, everyone staring at him as if waiting for the punchline to drop. Angel laughed.

"What? I mean, if you are all dying to hear the more spicier memories then you can just ask! I have so many I wouldn't know which one to choose from! I could tell you about this time I…"

There it was.

"No, no, thank you, it's okay!" Charlie quickly interjected it. "Thank you, Angel, that was really lovely! Who is next?"

Sir Pentious shared a memory of finishing his first weapon of destruction after weeks of trying it out. The fact that it had destroyed the building he was in rather than the target didn't mattered at all to him, because at last it was doing something destructive at least. Vaggie talked about her first date with Charlie, in which she got to see a movie for the first time in her life and later have pizza at Charlie's apartment. They did nothing else that day and it was still the best day she could have wished. The simple retelling brighten up Charlie's face.

Her own happy memory was visiting Lu Lu World for the first time with her parents. She throw up three times, one for excitement and the other two for going to the roller coasters despite dad's warning. Her parents argued about letting her eat too much. But she always remembered when the night came and Lucifer taught her how to make fireworks out of her own hands, while Alastor looked up from the ground.

When everyone quietly decided to move on from the happy memory of Niffty that included a rusty knife and a kneecap she got to keep, Charlie turned to Alastor.

"Dad, your turn. Please?" asked, making the puppy eyes that she knew neither of her parents could resist for long.

"Alright, alright" Alastor sighed as if fighting a great resistance. "Per request of my little fawn, I guess I have no option but to bring up the time I met her father as my happy memory. Charlie heard this so many times that she must be sick and tired of it" added with a grin, seeing Charlie grab onto her crossed legs sat on the floor, exactly as when she was a kid about to hear it for the first time.

The ears of Husk perked, even though nothing on his whole posture changed. By now his biggest concern was to win the bet than to try to decipher how much Alastor was about to lie through his yellow teeth.

"Well, as you all must be aware of by now, my husband is the king of all hell and also a very private person" started the man, caressing the white snake that lifted his head to nuzzle his cheek. "So naturally he needed guards to keep the defenses up of his castle and keep anyone out. But not just about any sinner would do, no. I applied for the job out of mere and pure curiosity. How was our invisible king going to be? Was he going to be a monster worthy of hell, a nightmare I couldn't even begin to understand, or the pure image born out of heaven that he was originally? Maybe a combination of the two, the meaning of corruption? I just couldn't resist not knowing at all.

At that point my career as an overlord wasn't anything to scuff at. My own power made me thirsty for knowledge, to get where not any other sinner had been before. The king Asmodeus was the one to see all the candidates. He, as a close friend to the king and concerned for his wellbeing, wanted to garanteed that the peace of the king would not be disturbed by having the most capable

So naturally he made us all fight in an arena to see by himself who among us were the strongest. I could go on about all the gorey details of what I did with those sinner, but my little fawn is not a fan, so I will skip those for now. Unfortunately I got a little carried away myself, so there was no viable coworkers for me to share the position with by the time I was done. There were also no witnesses left. Truly tragic.

As soon Asmodeus saw I was clearly the superior choice, that is when I got installed in the palace to do my job.

As it turns out, the king of hell was so busy with his own royal issues that I didn't get to see him at all during my first week. Not the second. On the third I was already considering this could have been a huge waste of my time when I heard a melody from the garden. There, over the fountain, our dear beloved king was playing the violin over the waters.

He was certainly not a nightmare, nor a monster. A heaven dream they failed to appreciate and now was the ruler of his own kingdom, playing on his garden for no one. I let him finish the piece before talking. He knew about me and my face, of course. He first apologized profusely because of what Asmodeus had done "forcing me" to fight like that. He only had accepted that deal in the first place just for the peace of his friend, not his.

I told him, clear and direct, that I am only sorry I wasn't given more bodies to dispatch of. He just told me ah, so you are that kind of sinner. I should have known. He wasn't surprised or disgusted, neither ectatic and jumping in giddiness. The king of hell had seen every atrocity made by men since creation and their wickedness hold no wonder for him. It just was, the same way that the sky down here is red. No need to justify it or ponder too much about it.

I found it… refreshing, in a way. Living in hell, you would think people would be less squeamish and afraid of some dark humor, but you would be wrong. The lack of judgement from the one who was judged the harder made it so much easier to be at ease on his presence. From that day forward, seeing as he couldn't keep pretending that I wasn't there, we started having dinner together. At first our alimentary preferences were a bit of a struggle to get through. He insisted on putting sugar on almost everything he touched. I liked my meals as raw and bloody, a little decayed for extra flavor, which he didn't appreciate particularly when flies started appearing.

More than one time I considered quitting. More than one time he threatened with kicking me out. But for whatever reason, there was never enough conviction to do anything else but keep our distance for a day or two, until we ended up in the same table again. Little by little I started cooking some of my meals and he stopped trying to give me sweets all the time. Our chairs were getting closer so we could hear each other better. He talked to me about his interest or hobbies with no filter, even when I didn't want to hear, like he haven't had anyone to do that with in a long time.

It was a comfortable routine, and before I knew it, an entire year had already passed. I learned about what being a king entailed and whatever ambitions I had about it were very quickly squandered. Charlie, I am sorry, but it's literally the most boring job you will ever have. Endless paperwork, dealing with the whinning of all the rings, even more paperwork, taxes because this is hell, of course, and, in a shocking twist of event, more paperwork to go through. I did always tried my best to distract the king when I could so he wouldn't drown himself on that side of his job and I myself wouldn't die of boredom.

But going out was difficult for him, so I would do things like setting a fake jazz club in the party room so he would get that experience I quite enjoyed myself. Our Majesty wasn't only a enthusiastic lover of music, he also had the lightest feet on the floor I had ever seen. He could pick up the rythm almost instantly and follow along.

On that first date, we may have been carried away with our drinks. Particularly me, regrettably, because as it turns out, it takes a lot more than what a mortal soul can take to get the devil actually wasted. I don't even remember what I said or in what tone, or even how Lucifer responded at any of it, but at the next morning I knew that something had changed in our dynamic. A touch of hands that went a bit longer than ever before. A gaze that never wanted to quit. A smile without any apparent reason. We end spending almost all day just in the presence of each other. When we didn't, we still looked for each other.

How can you be surprised when inevitably things go even further? How can you be shocked when you see your king at the end of the hallway and think "ah, that is right. That is the man I will end up spending eternity with"? Lucifer proposed first only because I couldn't find the most appropiate ring before him."

At that point Alastor took out the glove that used only on one hand, revealing a golden ring in his finger.

"Pure magic in solid form. That is when I found out that rings given by the king of hell himself can't be taken out. The only exception being in case of a divorce or death. Not that I was planning to do either, but it kinda made it hard to try to not advertise our relationship everytime I came out the palace. Hence the glove that I only got to take out once I am back home. And now here, since I know none of you will speak about it.

That is how I married the father of my future little fawn."

Charlie chocked up a little, barely containing a few tears that escaped her eyes, and she got up the floor to go hug her, kissing the little snake too. Vaggie discretly cleaned up her eyes as well, ignoring the snore coming from a pass out Niffty. Not enough violence for her to be entertained.

Charlie declared the whole experience a resounding success. Alastor stand up to announce he would be going to his designated room now. Husk followed up his steps up the stairs until he heard a door closing after him.

Vaggie encommended Husk to take out Niffty to her own room so she could sleep properly, before taking out a still emotional Charlie to their room. The princess of hell wished everyone a good night and they responded in kind. As soon they were both out of earshot, the remaining three sinner gather.

"Bullshit" declared Husk. "Absolute fucking bullshit. Every single word of it. I fucking knew it. I remember the jazz club thing and he had the fucking ring on already. He knows I know it too. Lying piece of shit."

"Yeah, I was about to say, that also sounded weird to me" Angel crossed his lower arms, while the upper ones brushed his hair back. "That is weird, isn't it? Why lie about that?"

"To piss me off, obviously." As soon he said it, Husk just knew that it was true and glared to the door that Alastor had used. "He is literally just playing now. Oh, I bet that fucker is having just the biggest laugh at my expense."

"That wassn't a ssnake either" commented Sir Pentious suddenly, making the other two to stare at him. "Ssnakes aren't that physsically affectionate or even like continuous physsical contact like that. At mosst they tolerate it."

"Speaking from experience?" Angel arqued an eyebrow.

"Excusse you, but I am a man firsst! And for you information, no. I just read about it" clarified Pentious, so absolutely confident on his word that neither of them doubted that he was lying. Seemingly realizing that, he blushed. "I-in any casse, how are we going to decide who won the bet?"

At the other side of the door, Alastor couldn't help himself and let out a low chuckle. Lucifer could feel the vibrations through his entire scaly body.

"What is so funny?"

"Oh, nothing, my love. I was just thinking of an old joke that suddenly sprung to mind."

"Right." Lucifer already knew better than to believe that, but with Alastor frankly anything could be cause for his laughter. "Can I get my hat back? I feel naked without it."

"You are naked, darling." Nonetheless, Alastor did took out the little hat from his pocket and put it on the head of the snake over his shoulder.

"Yes, but now I feel better" Lucifer sighed, lowering his head to rest against the rest of his body, looking around the hallways as Alastor kept walking. "It's not as awful as I imagined."

"Did you strain a muscle reaching for that compliment?"

"Fine, it's disgusting. Has anyone ever told you that other colors beside red exist? Happy now?"

"Appreciate the honesty."

Lucifer rolled his eyes, reaching out to lay on top of Alastor's head between his antlers. He waited until they reached the room designated for Alastor before he jumped in the air, turning into his humanoid form with a red poof.

He smiled a little when seeing that the bed was just as big as their bed in the palace. They had agreed that he would try to spend one night there before making an "official" visit and deciding to stay with the rest of his family. That would be easier than opening up and closing portals from their home to the hotel.

"How are you doing, darling?" asked Alastor, sitting on the bed and patting the space at his side for Lucifer.

"For now it's fine" Lucifer leaned his head against his husband's shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment. He masticated the sorry that wanted to come out of his mouth. Saying sorry for being an anxious mess every time he was outside his palace didn't fix anything. "It's so much easier in animal form. I don't know why."

"I don't mind either way." commented Alastor, slipping a hand between them to rub his back in big circles. "Today you made our daughter happy just being here."

Lucifer smiled, hugging him by the side, holding Alastor by his shoulder.

"I still kinda feel bad we have to lie to her about… you know, that."

"It was your idea."

"Yeah, because I am not proud of it. Doesn't mean I have to like it" Lucifer sighed, letting himself fell to the bed, just dreading what kind of conversation that would be in front of their daughter. "Hey, sweetheart, that cute story we told you since you were born about your dad being a guard and we slowly falling in love was a total fiasco. Yeah, in reality what we actually did was the equivalent of marrying drunk in Las Vegas during a bender. So romantic, huh?"

"Technically speaking you were the drunk one, not me" pointed out Alastor with a chuckle, kissing his cheek as he lat on his side to brush his hair. "I was just minding my own business when suddenly I was teleported to the palace with a ring on my finger. Not even a dinner date."

"I know" groaned Lucifer, turning in the bed to faceplant the mattress. His voice came out muffled against the covers. "That was the most embarrassing shit ever."

"Mmm" Alastor nuzzled his nape, breathing in the scent of his hair for a moment, before he kissed again his neck. "I don't regret anything about how things went."

"Of course you wouldn't." Lucifer rolled his head to look at him. He didn't regret it either, truth be told. He just wished it could have been something to remember fondly, from the start to today, instead of a gradual shift that started on the worst feet possible. "Your story is still so much cooler."

"Considering most of it was improvised on the spot and then I had to remember the details for later, thank you." Alastor stand out to change clothing and bring something for Lucifer, since he really didn't have anything for himself.

In the end he gave him a plain white t-shirt that was still too big for his body and some gym pants that were also too long, almost completely covering his hooves, but at least could be adjusted on the hip so they wouldn't fall out.

"How would you tell it?" asked suddenly Lucifer when Alastor was about to turn the lights off.

"To Charlie?"

"Not necessarily. Just about in general."

Alastor tilted his head, furrowing his brow.

"Do you want me to tell you the story of how we met?"

Lucifer smiled, making the puppy eyes that so many times had condemned the both of them when coming from their daughter.

"Pretty please? You are seriously so good at it. Maybe it will sound less bad if it comes from you."

Alastor thought about it for a moment and then sighed. Flattery did go a long way with him, naturally Lucifer would know that already.

"Sure" said through a yawn, turning the light and getting into bed. Lucifer went to accomodate on his back, his white arms wrapping around his waist, as if refusing to lose their contact. "But tomorrow when we are at our own home, darling. I think that would be the best."

He was tired and wanted to sleep. But more than anything, he didn't want to risk Lucifer having an episode in the middle of it.

"If you need to go back to the palace at any moment, wake me up and tell me" Alastor turned his head all the way to kiss his forehead. Lucifer corresponded by hugging him just a bit closer, nuzzling his back.

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you too, dear."

[isa-ghost]

happy early borth use me as a vessel to infodump about your qphil headcanons immediately that’s an order >:D

This too-broad I Just Wanna Hear You Be Abnormal About Your Guy prompting thing is gonna become an inside joke between us I s2g

I think rather than hcs I'm gonna go on a rant about this sTUPID MOTHERFUCKERS WACK ASS BRAIN. YOU ARE YOUR OWN BIGGEST EMOTIONAL DETRIMENT, YKNOW THAT qPHILLIP MINECRAFT? GOD.

This entire thing applies to AMFMN Phil btw

That son of a bitch is such a MESS. He's so deep in his own bullshit he doesn't even see the times he contradicts himself or acts like a hypocrite.

He has to care for everyone (he feels obligated to as the Usually Oldest And Wisest + being constantly put into the paternal/caretaker role) but god forbid anyone takes care of him, even when he needs it most. When people take care of him he feels like he's failed somehow and he gets this not-quite ashamed or embarrassed feeling, but still Distinctly Uncomfortable And Awkward nonetheless.

He's like thousands of years old and has had more life experience to handle stress 100x heavier than "just a scratch" or "feeling a bit sad." He's spent decades just fucking around risking his life in hardcore mode, which puts near-constant strain on a person. Which has definitely warped his perception of what's too much for himself. He has a HUGE problem with being too critical of when something is or isn't Enough to be "worth" letting himself be upset or down for the count for a while. (In AMFMN he's going to be told straight up he Should Have Literally Died with how bad of shape he'll be in and that's the only reason besides his body being in literal physical shambles that he's going to remain bedridden during the recovery arc).

It's so foreign to him between his habitual isolation (hc life), rarely actually being taken down long-term by any threat, and his own evasion of being the one depending on someone that he just. He doesn't know what to do here. It's like putting socks on a dog and watching them try to walk all weird, he's like What The FUCK Is This?? How Do I Navigate This Situation?? He hates it.

Also survivalist brain hates feeling vulnerable in any way in general obviously, so that's another factor. But FUCK MAN sometimes you NEED to, it's HEALTHY even!! You dumb ass motherfucker!! Like yeah he'll cry, but not in like a Go To His Room And Let Himself Break A Little way, in a "these extremely stressful circumstances are actively happening/ongoing and it's overwhelming me so badly that I couldn't hold this back if I tried" way. Case in point: Ender King's initial arrival and how the kids couldn't see anything, or his actual possession and telling Tallulah to flee.

Alternatively if something involves not him but his loved ones, THEN he'll cry. Assuming it's not something he can do anything about (bc then his default reaction is Pissed The Fuck Off and preparing to throw infinite hands). Case in point: the goodbye letters pre-Purgatory.

But generally speaking this idiot is SO BAD at emotional self-care and letting himself be the one looked after for a change, it feeds into a lot of his other flaws (ie: being strong all the time & how he pushes that on Chay). But like. It's not just done out of refusal due to stubbornness.

It's fucking tragic, honestly. He's spent So Long being this way, he just straight up genuinely doesn't know How to be in the reversed role. Like even if he Wanted to be, it's so beyond his comprehension now that he doesn't think he Can. And a shred of why he continues not to just Start is bc he knows deep down that there is SO MUCH shit he's bottled up and buried or ignored over time, esp ever since The Nightmare, that if he let himself stop being a brick wall he'd crumble for so long he doesn't know what he'd be like once he recovered, or if he would even bounce back properly. And he does NOT like the idea of being irreversibly fucked up by properly digesting the trauma and grief and stress he's been through over the last year.

He'd rather truck on and "keep it together for the kids." :)

[eloeloanna]

Hey! Happy Valentine’s Day ❤️❤️❤️

Lately I’ve been very tired, I have worked a lot but didn’t want to forget about this day.

I wanted to do these questions because everything seemed so hopeful in 1980, right?

So let’s go! I hope you like this 😍

This is for entertainment purposes only.

-

Check my readings! here

-

What were John’s plans with Paul in 1980, what did he expect?

Energy: This was so heartwarming…like I really loved John’s energy here. I wanted to give him a hug 😭.

The cards start telling me about John trying to be as careful as possible, to be mindful of every action and word about Paul, because he was planning to get back to him. He tried his best to be as good as possible.

John thought a lot about being sure about his decision, but then he realised he wanted to be with Paul again, no matter what would happen. The thing is, what stopped John was the fact that maybe, Paul wouldn’t want more than work opportunities - to collaborate as songwriters, and for him it was more of a sentimental matter. Eventually he decided to give in to Paul’s proposal (I have read many times that they planned to work on Ringo’s album. I think that is true). For John it was a lot of effort to do this, but he really wanted to see him, to be near him, even when it was just because of work. But the true nature of his desires was to “be” with Paul. He took this chance because it was a great opportunity, even if it didn’t 100% satisfy his true desires. When the proposal was 100% confirmed, John felt so much peace. He felt powerful again, full of love. Time to time he would think of the past, the good and nasty parts, he would wonder why he would do this if he was through so much shit, but then he would realise how much they changed and grew, so this was a good decision. I think Yoko (or someone near with feminine energy) questioned him about this, but he really didn’t care (😭), he knew that he was “sacrificing” something to get back to Paul, but he was so sure about this guys…😢. It’s heartbreaking.

So yeah, in 1980 100% John wanted to be back with Paul. In any form.

What were Paul’s plans with John in 1980, what did he expect?

The cards start telling me about the feelings that Paul had for a long time and wanted to change.

Paul thought almost always about John, about how he lost him, because he had to have other things. For a long time he thought about everything that he had constructed, how that would tear into pieces If he really tried to be with John again. So he couldn’t reach him how he wanted, and that was torturing him.

So when he thought of changing that mindset, he, in fact, didn’t digest it at all 😭. It was like one day he was thinking about the beautiful things from the past and took the phone. In that feeling of happiness he proposed something to John, something that he regretted IMMEDIATELY. It was like this could go very wrong. But the “damage” was done. He initiated something. When he did this proposal, he didn’t realise that this was like a fuel to John, he only thought about trying to do this the most impartially possible, even when he thought this wasn’t very good because he wouldn’t be able to meet his own expectations (more of the sentimental, emotional type). So he tried to work very hard in making this experience a good one. He was very keen in writing these songs. Even when he knew they wouldn’t be like he wanted them to be (probably because they were Ringo songs?) but he knew anyways that they would be very successful. There was a part of him that was VERY excited for this to happen, but also very worried about Linda and the children. He thought about why he was doing this, then he would convince himself that it was because it was his job. He was going to be responsible. He was going to be impartial. He was going to follow the rules. But the other side of him knew what was going on, he was that expectant of this moment because he was going to see John, he was going to be near him, his mind would be sparkling with new ideas. But this would confuse him, this probably would lend him to “remember” that he loved him. And that was a very depressing thought. Because he was okay with Linda, so he thought that when that would happen, when he would be writing with John, he wouldn’t do anything. It would just be business. But he was scared of John’s “manipulative” moves, it’s like he knew if John would do something, he would “fall”.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Lovefool

A/N: Part 2 of Only Love Can Hurt Like This

Word Count: 2.6k

The next few months after Trevor's confession was a blur to you. You did your best to cope and accept the fact that he had fallen for another girl, but it was not easy for you to move on. You kept asking yourself what went wrong and where did your love go. The feeling of betrayal was always with you, lingering in your mind constantly. But despite everything that happened, you still had to continue your life, having to maintain appearances in front of the people who cared or knew what happened. Eventually, you had to learn to live with the pain of losing Trevor to another woman. As time went on, you did your best to move on and accept the new reality. You put on a brave face in front of everyone, but inside, your heart was still broken. You missed him dearly, Trevor, and you normally would have done anything to have your love back. But those were wishes that you figured would never come true. Your life continued forward, and you eventually found peace and happiness again. But a part of you will always wonder what could have been if things had turned out differently between you two. Even though the passage of time has made the pain easier to digest, there was a constant hole in Trevor's heart as his thoughts often wandered back to the time he spent with you. The memories together often filled his mind, the fun times and the happy moments together always seeming so vivid and alive. He often found himself missing your touch and the way you both used to laugh together, the sweet way you kissed his cheeks, and the love in your eyes. He often thought about how different life could have been had you decided to give him another chance, to forgive him for his ignorance, his mistake.

No longer able to help himself from wanting to call or see you and finally just started making his way to your place. The thought of trying to reconcile with you after everything that had happened felt daunting, but he couldn't help but wonder if there was a chance to fix the relationship. Would you be willing to talk to him and give him a second chance? So, he decided to take the initiative and went to talk to you. When he got to the front door and knocked, he nervously waited for a response. Whether it would be your voice or someone else's, it was hard to tell, but deep down he hoped it was you. You slowly open the door and see Trevor standing right there in front of you, all anxious and nervous. The sight of him immediately made your heart beat faster, your mind filled with a million thoughts, all of them conflicting with each other. The thought of forgiving him and giving him a second chance filled your heart with hope and doubt at the same time. You still loved him even when he hurt you the most, and you hated that part of you. All the conflicting thoughts in your head slowly cleared as you finally decided to do what your heart had been telling you to. Your expression is of surprise as you see him in front of you. "Trevor? What are you doing here?" For a moment, you couldn't believe your eyes, wondering if this was just a dream. Did he really come back to you to talk?

His heart skips a beat when he sees you open the door. He knew that this moment would come with a variety of emotions, and as he saw the look on your face, he could only hope that you still felt the same. He was relieved that you were willing to see him and talk things out with him hopefully, even if he didn't know what the outcome would be. "Can we talk for a second? I need to tell you something. It's important." His voice was shaky, but he needed to say what he needed to say and hope for the best. His heart pounded quickly as he noticed the way you looked at him, a mixture of surprise and relief washed over his face. "It's really me. I'm here to talk to you. Please… Can we talk?" He nervously stepped forward into your space, taking in his surroundings and looking at you expectantly. "Please… Can you give me a chance… Can we try again? I know I've made some mistakes, but it's been eating me up inside and I had to come to talk to you." Your surprise and relief quickly turned into anger when you realized that he was there to ask for a second chance. How could you forgive a traitor like him? But there is still a part of you that loves him even if he has hurt you. “You think talking will solve everything? The word “mistake” is not enough. If you still care about me and our love for each other, why did you hurt me and choose Melissa over me??? You knew that this would hurt me, but you still did it anyway. I was a fool to fall for your sweet talk and empty promise to me.”

He looked at you with sadness and regret as you spoke, and he realized that it would not be easy to fix everything between you two. He understood your anger, and he was ready to face any consequences as a result of his actions. "You're right. Words are not enough, and I knew that hurting you would cause irreparable damage to our relationship. But I'm here now not to make excuses, but to do something about it. I want to fix things between us. Can I please ask for a second chance?" He asked tentatively, hoping that you would give him a chance. He looked at you meeting your eyes with sadness and regret as he saw your emotions play across your face. He knew that it would be a difficult process to rebuild your relationship, but he refused to give up on you two just yet. "Please hear me out. I never meant to hurt you, and I certainly did not choose Melissa over you. My feelings for you are real, just like my love. Please understand that my feelings for Melissa did not invalidate the love that I have for you in any way. I am so sorry that this hurt you, but I have to be honest with you." As his words pierce your heart, you realize how much he has changed from the guy that you have spent most of your life with. Your voice was trembling wildly each time you tried to speak, trying to control your calm in front of him. But it hurts so much to see the person that you loved having feelings for another girl and he did not even care about your feelings at the moment. You looked at him, the face with sadness and anger as he spoke to you, wanting you to listen and give him a chance to fix everything.

"You never meant to hurt me?" Your eyes widened from shock as you heard those words from Trevor, but realized that this must be a joke, right? He really did have the nerve to ask you for a second chance… but there is a part of you that really does care and love him. You slowly stepped towards him, but your face was full of anger and distrust toward him, especially with what seemed to be Melissa in the picture. "Fine… But only this once. Now, tell me. What do you want to say?" You look at him expectantly, waiting for his words and his explanation. He watched you as you slowly stepped towards him, your anger, distrust, and doubts about him still lingering in your mind. But a small part of you, your heart, still wanted to give him a second chance to make this work. "You have no idea how much I want to fix all this mess. I know that my words mean nothing right now, after what I did to you, but please give me another chance. I will prove to you that I still care and love you and that I want to make this work. I will do everything in my power to make it up to you." As he looked at you standing in front of him with all those emotions and anger boiling inside you, he realized that he had an opportunity to fix the relationship, but he knew that he would have to do what he could to convince you that his love for you was true and that his mistake was real as well. "Everything I told you is true. I love you, and I only wanted to be with you. I also wanted to be with Melissa, that is not gonna lie to you, but that does not change the fact that I am deeply in love with you."

"But what if you change your mind again? What if you leave me for Melissa next time?" You said, as more tears rolled down your cheeks, but deep down you wished to believe Trevor. You wanted to believe in his love. Please. Please let this chance you have can be the last one to fix everything between you both as you thought to yourself. "But how can you love two people at the same time? It doesn't make sense. And please don't tell me you have a crush on her… Did you have a crush on her? Why am I even asking these stupid questions…" You close your eyes and take a deep breath, listening intently to his explanation. You believe that this conversation has gotten this far because you still love him… "So if I decided to give you another chance to redeem yourself. It will not be easy, but the fact that you want me to give us another chance shows me you love me. Just to be clear before I give you another chance… You still love me more than Melissa though, right?" You looked at him with a serious look, wanting him to answer honestly.

"Baby, even if you gave me a hundred chances, I would still choose you over Melissa every single time. Melissa was just a crush, that is all. The idea of being with her never compares to being with you. When I am with you, there is no one who can ever replace you in my heart. It was a mistake of mine to confess my feelings to Melissa, one I will not make again, but in order for you to fully trust me, I need to be honest about how I feel. And how I feel is that my heart only and fully belongs to you." He gently cupped your face enjoying being so close to you again "If I had to choose between Melissa or you, there is no question in my mind that I would choose you right away. You are my world, and there is no one else that could ever surpass my love for you. We have been through so much together, and I want to make things work between us." He looked at you and slowly took one step closer to you. "Please give me another chance. I don't want to lose you to my mistake."

You were torn apart when you felt him holding you and talking sweet words. You were afraid that this would hurt you more than before, but there was a small part of you that wanted to trust Trevor again. You hated this feeling, but now you were stuck in this never-ending confusion and conflict. Your heart wanted to be with Trevor again, while your head told you to stay away as far as possible or else it would lead to more pain and suffering. After a brief pause, you gently removed his hand that cupped your face and looked at him with a frown. "Oh, really!? How do you even know you won't have another crush on any other girl… What if in the future, you suddenly confessed your feelings to another woman? How do you know for certain that your heart will always belong to me?" You slowly closed your eyes, remembering the time when you were happily together. But, with everything with Melissa, your heart feels uneasy right now if you should fully trust him or not. Yet, you can't deny that you love him dearly. All these things are too much for you to bear.

"Baby, I promise you that I am not going to fall in love with anyone else but you. You are the love of my life, and I am not willing to throw that away for some crush that will pass and fade with time. It is you that my heart belongs to, my love. So please, give me a second chance." He took your hand, hoping that with one more chance, you would be able to reconcile and find happiness together again. He could see the pain and doubt in your eyes, as he tried to hold back his tears in this moment. He knew that you were trying your best to believe what he was saying, but your heart was fighting hard to resist the urge to trust him. He slowly took one more step closer to you to reach up and hold your face with both of his hands, trying desperately to prove to you that he meant every word he said. "Please believe me when I say that I will never have another crush on anyone else but you. There's only you that I want right now." You felt his warmth as he cupped your face with his hands. It was comforting. You can feel your heart softening toward him, but the fear and doubt still linger in the back of your mind. You felt his words hit your heart and you find yourself struggling to fight your true feelings toward him. But deep inside, a part of you wanted him to keep those words and mean them. You finally found yourself to open your eyes and look directly at him. Maybe you can give him this chance. Maybe this time, you don't have to hold any resentment toward him.

"I-" The touch of his hand against your skin slowly melted away all your anger and doubt. You looked at him with tearful eyes, nodding slowly at this chance to start fresh with him once again. "I… I will try again with you, Trevor. I want to believe that I am the one you love, and there is no one else. Let's leave the past behind and look forward to the future." You smiled softly. "Please kiss me," you said, as you closed your eyes to feel the first kiss of a renewed relationship. He felt a rush of relief in his heart as he saw you open yourself up to him again. He knew that it would take time to rebuild the relationship and trust, but he was glad that he was given that chance once again. He leaned forward and kissed you slowly and passionately as if making up all of the time that you had been apart. At this moment, all his love for you returned to him, and the pain and heartache started to fade away slowly as he enjoyed the embrace of your touch. He saw the smile play across your face as you nodded slowly, and he let out a sigh of relief. He couldn't believe that he was able to salvage your relationship, and he felt a tinge of joy as you had the chance to move forward. And without hesitation, he brought his lips to yours again. As you both kissed, you lost yourself in the moment, feeling the butterflies in your stomach as you reconnected after so many months apart. It was a moment that he never thought would come, but he was grateful to have you back.

[markantonys]

a few more bridgerton thoughts! i've always been only a casual enjoyer who watches just for a few hours of fun and doesn't get super invested, but even so, i'm still feeling pretty underwhelmed by this season so far. i watched it in one sitting and enjoyed it while it was happening but just immediately forgot about it as soon as i was done. maybe all the memorable moments are going to be in the second half of the season, but for these first four episodes, i feel like it was all just kinda bland and forgettable (granted, of all the romance tropes in the world, m/f childhood-friends-to-lovers is just about the #1 most boring one to me, so this never would've been my favorite season regardless)

i adore romance and romcoms, always have, and am pretty happy to watch The Classic Marriage Plot play out a thousand times, yet i feel like bridgerton is maybe becoming TOO formulaic and repetitive. although, to be fair, i WAS giggling and kicking my feet during all the Classic Romance Scenes, but the problem was maybe just that there weren't enough of them, which brings me to my second point of too many subplots. too much padding and filler and not enough Classic Romance, which is what i'm here for.

8 hours is way more time than is needed to tell 1 love story, so to fill up the time they invent 17 random subplots that are ultimately pointless and have little relevance outside of the current season. i would way rather a season be only 4 episodes but tightly focused on the main love story, or that a season be about two siblings and two main love stories at a time, than have all this extra time they need to fill up with random unimportant shit. why have we had 3 seasons' worth of storylines about benedict having one-off non-endgame girlfriends that don't have a lasting impact on his character development? what's the point? he's been treading water for so long that i'm not even going to care about him anymore by the time he finally comes into the spotlight, and same with eloise. god, the thought of eloise's season potentially not being until like 2027 is insane. it's past time to start picking up the pace and doing 2 siblings per season!

and the kicker is that all these subplots, which were only invented to fill up the time, end up filling too MUCH time and taking away from the main love story, which is left feeling underbaked. this sort of happened last season, but it's way worse this season. penelope is an excellent character, but her back is breaking from trying to carry the season because colin is kinda giving us nothing due to lack of narrative attention given to him as an individual. he's supposed to be the co-lead, yet i couldn't tell you a single personality trait of his besides "vaguely nice" because he's just had no development and exists more as a prop for penelope to love than as a fleshed-out character in his own right. there was that whole scene where violet was talking about how he's a people pleaser who focuses on making others happy at the expense of his own wants and happiness, and i was just sitting there going "he is?" because i didn't feel i'd ever gotten to know him enough as a person to see this trait in him.

i also think the "dropping a season in 2 halves" model is just about the worst possible release model. if you drop 1 episode a week, that's constant engagement and allows for longer time to digest and appreciate each individual episode. if you drop the whole season at once, it's all over too fast but on the flipside you can experience the entire story at once without risking forgetting things or losing interest while waiting for new episodes. but dropping in two halves a month apart is the worst of both models (over too quickly yet also makes you wait too long to finish the story).

i do like some of the subplots, though. cressida getting to be more than just a mean girl caricature has been a particular highlight, the mondrich family going suddenly from working class to noble is interesting to see, and as a mega-introvert myself (and a music lover!) whose ideal partner would be someone who's happy to sit in silence with me, francesca and john's whole vibe is THE definition of romance to me and has me absolutely swooning (and it's a nice change of pace from all the loud dramatic romances on this show). violet potentially finding new love is also very sweet and i'm rooting hard for her! meanwhile i am not a fan of the featherington subplot; after s1 portraying regency girls' lack of sex education as a serious issue, it feels.........odd for the show to now be playing that very same thing for laughs this season and it just kinda makes me uncomfortable.

but otherwise there isn't much i dislike about the season, it's just kinda "meh" to me so far. the second half might turn things around if it's more memorable!

[friends-to-lovers-tournament]

Friends to Lovers Tournament: Round 2, Side B, Match 7

propaganda under the cut!

Hidekane:

"Submission 1 Let me tell you, when I say they should have been canon, they should have been canon! Let's start from the beginning, shall we? (Major spoilers for the whole series lmao)

Hide and Kaneki met as children, around the ages of 7-10. Kaneki has always been a big bookworm while Hide has always been a big extrovert. Unbeknown to anyone yet, Hide had recently lost his father and was just adopted and was having a hard time adjusting and fitting in at this new school despite his cheerful personality. He kinda just walked up to Kaneki and asked to be his friend and he said yes.

They grew up together, Hide being Kaneki's only salvation in the world as he lost his mother and was stuck in a neglectful, nearly abusive situation living with his aunt. They usually just talked about stupid stuff, but Hide's friendship meant everything to Kaneki. Eventually, they began attending the same university, Kamii. Kaneki took literature while Hide studied foreign languages, majoring in English. They were only in their first year when Kaneki was involved in an accident. In this world, creatures known as ghouls exist among humans, look and act just like them, but they eat human flesh. It's the only thing their bodies can digest, everything else tastes disgusting and makes them sick.

Kaneki went out with a girl, but found out she was actually a ghoul when she tried to eat him. He ran away into a construction zone where steel beams fell on the girl and he passed out. He was rushed to the hospital and needed a kidney transplant, but the hospital had none and so they used the girl's, or so the doctor said. In reality, the doctor transplanted the girl's kakuho, an organ unique to ghouls, into him. Slowly, Kaneki began to notice changes to his body. Food tasted gross and people started to sound appetizing (this all sounds off topic but trust me it's necessary to understand the depths of Kaneki and Hide's relationship).

While dealing with this revalation, Kaneki skipped out on quite a few days of class. Once he retuned, Hide immediately hugged him, saying that he's been lonely and that rabbits die of loneliness. Later in the day, Hide is attacked by a ghoul and knocked unconscious while Kaneki tries to fight the ghoul off. Kaneki is very weak at this point and can't do much, but tries to defend his friend until the bitter end. When it really looks like Hide is about to die and be eaten, Kaneki is able to unleash his kagune (a hunting limb/organ thing ghouls use to fight) to fight off the ghoul and save Hide. The two of them are saved and cared for, and Kaneki talks to another ghoul about how he's no longer human in the same room Hide is sleeping in but little does he know that Hide is actually awake.

They started drifting away because of this, with Kaneki wanting to keep Hide out of danger. At one point, Kaneki is kidnapped and goes missing and so Hide spends his time looking for him, tailing shady people, and joining the CCG (Comission of Counter Ghoul, aka the ghoul cops) as an intern to look for files on him. Eventually a few months later, they find each other again. Kaneki has changed a lot, having been tortured and been through a lot of other stuff. The CCG is on a mission called the Owl Execution Operation to locate and kill an extremely powerful ghoul known as the Owl with Kaneki fighting on the side of the ghouls and Hide (technically) with the CCG. Kaneki is beginning to lose his mind while struggling to regenerate a severe wound when Hide shows up. Kaneki freaks out because he doesn't want Hide to know that he's a ghoul, but Hide just pats him on the shoulder and says ""I knew all along man!"" There's a very strong CCG fighter blocking the only exit to the area and Kaneki needs to be at full strength to have a chance at winning so Hide tells Kaneki to eat him. Kaneki gives Hide one hell of a kiss, eating his lips and part of his cheek and neck.

Flash forward three/four years later, Kaneki had amnesia but regained his memories at this point. Kaneki is fighting an extremely strong adversary and is losing horribly. He is about to drown when Hide appears in his dreams. They talk about the situation, joking around a bit too. Kaneki cries, saying how much he misses him, with Hide responding ""what are you, a rabbit?"" Hide convinces Kaneki to keep fighting and not to throw his life away, saying ""it may not be stylish, but live."

Meanwhile, the real Hide has dedicated his life to finding help for Kaneki these last few years. After some really big stuff that I can't even begin to explain happens, Hide comes out from the shadows and takes the lead in helping Kaneki out of this shitshow of a situation. When one person asks ""why go this far for Ken Kaneki?"", Hide simply responds ""Because I love him.""

Submission 2

They're lifelong friends. Kaneki has a bad family history and Hide looks like a sunflower and has the personality of a golden retriever. When Kaneki gets turned into a ghoul, Hide figures it out pretty much immediately and doesn't say anything, because he's waiting for Kaneki to feel comfortable enough to confess. Even as Kaneki drifts away, Hide gets more and more involved in the world of ghouls so he can continue looking after him. At the end of the first series, Kaneki ends up starved for human flesh and on the brink of being captured. Hide, who has joined the enemy side because it's the only way to stay close, finds him in the sewers and offers himself to be eaten. Fade to black.

In the second series, when Kaneki regains his memories, he wants to die in style, like he thinks Hide did, protecting the people he loves. His hallucinations of Hide talk him out of this. He gets ghoul-married to another ghoul by leaving non-fatal bites on each other. This is relevant because Hide isn't dead; just heavily scarred (his jaw and throat are just gone, like a makeout session gone very badly), and he's been going around in disguise as a scarecrow for the past several years, manipulating things so that Kaneki will be as safe as possible.

Percabeth:

Submission 1

they are the cutest thing ever with 5 books of slow burn

Submission 2

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THEM?? THEY ARE THE BEST OTP! THEY START OFF WITH UNCERTAINTIES BUT ANNABETH CHOOSES TO BE HIS FRIEND, HER FIRST INDEPENDENT STEP TO NOT CONSIDER THE OLYMPIAN'S WISHES WHEN MAKING CHOICES. SHE IGNORED HER MOM'S OPINION GUYS, THAT IS BIG! AND HE DOESNT REALLY HAVE FRIENDS UNTIL THE SUMMER HE TURNS 13 AND SHE IS ONE OF THEM. SHE AND HIM ARE ALWAYS BY EACHOTHER'S SIDES (METAPHORICALLY AT LEAST). THEY WORK TOGETHER ON QUESTS SOO WELL BECAUSE THEY KNOW EACH OTHER THAT WELL. AND SHE KISSED THEM DURING THE LABYRINTH QUEST AND HE KINDA IGNORED IT FOR LIKE A YEAR. AND SHE WAS HIS ANCHOR TO THE MORTAL WORLD. AND HE TOLD HER ABOUT HIS ACHILLES HEEL. AND SHE BACKS HIM UP ALL THE TIME. AND IT WAS THE GREATEST UNDERWATER KISS OF ALL TIME. AND WHEN HE WENT MISSING SHE DID NOT SLEEP. AND SHE WAS ALL HE REMEMBERED WHEN HERA TRIED HER SHENANIGANS. AND THEY FELL TOGETHER. AND THEY ARE EACH OTHERS BEST FRIENDS (sorry grover, but you get it) AND I LOVE THEM TOGETHER SO MUCH. THEY EMAILED EACH OTHER AT 13 BECAUSE CELL PHONES WERE A BIG N O! AND HE KEPT A PICTURE OF HER IN HIS BINDER. AND SHE WANTS TO BUILD SOMETHING PERMANENT WITH HIM.

[jcbbby]

dani, i'd like to make a request. As someone who also struggles with ED, can you make a gic where reader has an ED and is went through a recovery? I mean, some years ago i was really underweight, i went through a recovery but my anorexia is still in there. and sometimes is hard to look at the mirror and see how my body changed, is hard to see that i kinda have a tummy now, see that my panties squish a little bit on my waist, see how my thighs look bigger... also my ed gave me stomach problems, i feel so much pain sometimes and it is hard to eat. reading fanfics where my favs comfort me about my body is my favourite thing to do when im feeling bad about myself. can you write one where said scenario happens with reader? (jamie x reader)

oh, bby :( I feel for you, I relate so much. I think anyone who has struggled with an eating disorder knows that it never really does totally go away. you just sort of get better at not acting on those intrusive thoughts. but I do want to make sure you know how PROUD I am of you, because nothing is more badass than waking up every day and still choosing recovery, regardless of what that voice in your head is saying. I love you, I'm rooting for you, and keep kicking ass you beautiful being!! <3

I know this is a little short, but I hope this fic brings you comfort when you need it. <3

Warnings: vague description of an ED and talk of body dysmorphia.

-

It was a gorgeous evening as you and Jamie were out to dinner on the Italian Amalfi Coast; a much needed vacation for the both of you. Your food arrived and Jamie immediately dug into his meal. You, however, stared for a moment at the plate of pasta in front of you as you held your fork, thinking about the couple pieces of bread already in your stomach. Jamie looked up from his food, giving you a small, encouraging smile, but letting you decide to take your first bite on your own time, not wanting to put any stress on a typical dinner that should be just that: dinner. You returned his smile, slowly twisting some linguine around your fork and bringing it to your mouth.

You had had a complicated relationship with food, exercise, and your body for a while before you started dating Jamie. They began shortly after you started college, the constant stress and change of environment had you neglecting taking care of yourself. These habits never went away once you graduated, and you carried them with you even when you met Jamie. This could have easily been shrugged off and flown under the radar to most but being thrust into the public eye exacerbated it all. There was an insane added pressure now to always look good, and more daily stress that came with traveling, planning things around filming and travel, and your own career.

When Jamie started to notice how the light in your eyes started to fade, he begged you to seek help. He told you how much he loved you and how much you deserve to feel the love he has for you, for yourself. And he was right; you knew you deserved more than what you had been giving yourself. He was with you through everything after that; your therapy appointments, doctor appointments, your treatment program, your entire recovery. Always supporting you, listening to your feelings, never making you feel like a burden, and doing whatever he could to keep you moving forward.

“Oh my god, this is so good.” You closed your eyes as you chewed.

“Damn right it is.” He smiled, trying not to show just how overwhelmed with pride he was watching you enjoy yourself eating again, allowing yourself one of life’s most simple of pleasures.

Later that evening, as you returned to your hotel room, your mental high from conquering the carb-filled dinner began to fade. You felt so bloated and your stomach loudly gurgled as it struggled to digest your food, a side effect of the years of denying it enough, often making it hard to truly feel as though you were really doing the right thing. That ugly little voice in the back of your head always loved to tell you it was a mistake to have enjoyed yourself like that.

You got back to the room and flopped yourself on to the bed, curling up into a ball. You let out a quiet groan as your stomach grumbled loudly.

“Are you okay, love?” Jamie asked, getting on to the bed with you, placing a hand on your back.

“My tummy hurts.” You whined. “I shouldn’t have eaten that…” You mumbled into the comforter.

Jamie tutted. “Oh, darling… But it was delicious right?” He sat next to you.

“Yeah…it really was. But I’m so bloated now.”

“Oh yeah? Check me out.” Jamie chuckled, standing up.

You peaked an eye open at him to see he had pulled his shirt up to his chest, pushing out his also bloated belly, cradling it like a pregnant woman. You giggled as you sat up a little bit, frowning quickly again as the adjustment hurt your stomach.

“Why don’t we get you out of that dress and into something comfier, hm?” Jamie lowered his shirt.

You nodded, getting up to let Jamie help take off your form fitting dress, twisting yourself and sucking in as much as you could to hide your distended belly. He grabbed one of his shirts that he wore yesterday, that lay draped over the chair in the corner and handed it to you. You slid it over your head, letting it fall to just above your mid-thigh. You smiled to yourself as it smelled like him. You climbed under the covers of the bed, wincing as your stomach gurgled loudly again.

“Here, take these.” Jamie held out a few Tums to you. “Do you want me to go make you some tea, too?” He asked as you took the tablets from him, popping them in your mouth.

You nodded with a slight smile, which he returned as he made his way toward the kitchenette across the room to put the kettle on. After he had prepared two mugs of tea, he came over to hand you yours. He went around to the other side of the bed, setting his mug down on the nightstand. He climbed into the bed with you, snuggling up close. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your tummy through the blankets.

“That should help.” He smiled.

You cuddled together as you sipped your tea, him caressing your back, settling in for the night as your stomach finally began to settle as well.

-the next day-

Jamie and you were going to head down to the beach this sunny, breezy morning. You sipped some coffee as you stood in your bikini in front of the large window that overlooked the water not too far in the distance. Jamie was prepping a bag of snacks and drinks to take down to the beach with you.

“Hey, baby, look at me.” You heard him say behind you.

You turned to see him holding up his phone, about to take a picture of you with the stunning backdrop of seaside Italy outside the window. You immediately frowned, subconsciously moving your arms to cover your exposed body.

“Oh, no…babe, please don’t.”

He lowered his phone, tilting his head. “Why not? You look so beautiful right now.”

You turned to the mirror that was on the wall to the right of you, pinching at your hips and thigh. You shrugged. “I guess I just…feel puffy. I wish I brought a bathing suit that covered more…” You sighed.

“My love…” Jamie walked up to you, wrapping his arms around you from behind. “I think you look so incredible right now.” He placed a kiss just below your ear.

You looked at him in the mirror, and then down at your reflection. “My bikini bottoms are cutting into my hips and my ass cheeks. I feel like it’s too tight.” You frowned, bringing your hands to your stomach. “And I still feel a little bloated.”

Jamie turned you around, now looking at you face to face, taking your hands in his. “Hey, remember what we talked about. It’s okay to feel that way. But you know it’s just that mean little voice trying to trick you. Right? And what did we decide to tell that voice whenever it got too loud?”

“…to shut the fuck up, you miserable ass bitch, because it’s just jealous of how awesome and beautiful I really I am.” You rolled your eyes while giggling.

“That’s right!” He pulled you into a hug, kissing your cheek over and over as you continued giggling. “And I, for one…” He pulled back from you, now dropping to his knees in front of you. “Love your beautiful, amazing tummy…” He placed several kisses to your stomach. “Your beautiful, amazing hips…” He kissed each hip. “Your beautiful, amazing thighs…” He kissed over your thighs.

You smiled down at him as he peppered your body in admiration and acceptance, in total, unconditional love. He stood up to then meet your lips. You pulled away from his mouth, bringing your arms around him in a hug.

“I love you, baby. Thank you.” You smiled against his chest.

“I love you, darling. All of you.” He pulled you tighter.

[lutawolf]

TharnType Episode 4

My other reviews can be found here. In each of my posts, I find myself having to constantly explain why problematic art is necessary, but it's also about rights. If someone is allowed to tell you what is appropriate art, they are essentially telling you how to think and feel. It negates the ability to think for yourself, and I will fight tooth and nail for that.

As many of you have seen from my reviews, there are toxic things in what MAME writes, but there are good things too. A lot of important things that can be learned from even problematic art. History is filled with people who've grabbed artworks, from paintings to books and put them away, saying they were not appropriate or okay. Dictatorships that states that as a society we are incapable of censoring itself. It was someone else saying that they knew what was best for us, even though there was no harm.

That's the reason I don't have ownership and rights over my own body. Because someone else said they have the right to decide for me. That they would tell me what to do with my body because, I might not make the decision they deem correct. And before I hear comments of, body rights aren't the same as what these bls are doing. It's all about taking away a person's right to choose and think for themselves.

I'll get off my soap box and start this episode. Sorry! 😘 We start off the series with Type being shredded online by people who assume they have a right to. Never mind that they violated his space and his rights. And people are ganging up on Type despite only hearing one part of the narrative. There is a lot to take in and digest in this work, it's not one dimensional at all.

Tharn comes in looking at Type with pity, which is going to grind a victim/survivor's gears. We want your understanding, not your pity. I'm not going to tell you my story for sympathy, I don't fucking want it, I had enough of that to make me sick. Nothing will cause hackles to go up faster on a survivor than that look he is giving right there.

Why Type says is very valuable here. He says, do you hate me for what I said or are you using me as an excuse to diss homosexuals. Now think about it, Type didn't want to live with Tharn, but other than that we don't see talking shit about homosexuals. He doesn't want to associate, and he doesn't want them to touch him, but he doesn't say anything until Tharn because Tharn is in his space. He needs him out of his space because he's scare. Furthermore, he is fully aware that his hate is irrational, but he is unable to change it. Not necessarily because he doesn't want to, but because the block is so high and heavy. He sees this as his karma. Another indication that he is well aware that his hatred isn't right. MAME is trying to show that sometimes hatred has a deep seeded reason. Doesn't make that hatred right, but shouldn't we have compassion? Are all of us so guilt free and bias free that we have the right to not show compassion?

"Nosy and worry have two different meanings." Tharn is reacting to Type with kindness and it's making ripple effects. You can see it. Type recognizes it and puts up his angry wall to cover his weakness. Tharn sees through it though and grabs onto him. Type has been in days of regression and stress, so he immediately freaks. But Tharn only wants to be him to eat. Then they begin to talk and Tharn tells Type that he doesn't care what others think, he knows he is innocent. This is what breaks Type. Being seen. Tharn begs him to talk to him, but he wasn't expecting the reality of it. The way Type tells the story of his SA is very accurate. I don't know of another way of describing it. It's stark and direct while still carrying emotion. The book is actually much more descriptive, but accurately descriptive. In the book, it talks about sensory memory, which is not something that a nonvictim-survivor is going to think to describe. This is someone who knows exactly what they are talking about and, in my opinion, as someone very familiar with therapeutic writing. Is therapeutic writing. People don't want to hear your story, it hurts them, but it hurts us to keep it in.

Tharn stops him from telling anymore, and that's pretty normal too. When you care about someone, it is very difficult to listen to. When Type tells Tharn he hates him. He returns the comment with compassion. Not hate. Not how he shouldn't lump them all together. But with compassion. Why? Because Type is still hugging him as he says it. There are clear indicators that Type does not hate him or really gays, but he has hard limits that he can't handle.

Everything Type says is valid. Type is very uncomfortable with Tharn there. He just told him something personal and private, and he fears it getting out. Victims and Survivors rarely want their story out. I do it because you guys don't know who I am. I'm anon behind this computer, but in real life. Well, some do because I went to court, but I'm sure as shit not sharing my story. I don't want that pity. That's exactly what Type is worried about, but instead Tharn steps up. He didn't have to, this was an act of love.

Tharn tells Type that he tells them that he likes him. Tharn bites his lip and let's go of his angry death grip. He doesn't hit or yell at him. There is no act of aggression like before. What does this say. It says before we saw acts of homophobia from Type because he was scared. Not, there is a comfort level with Tharn to where he doesn't feel that fear anymore. "We almost tore each other heads off, but if you try to understand him. You know he is a good guy."

Tharn admits that he over pushed his boundaries with Type. Which is what exacerbated the situation with them. He forces them to admit that they touched him. The thing to take from this is Tharn does realize that he is some of the trigger here, and that Type wouldn't typically react like this. He knew they had touched him without having to ask Type. "When people hate someone or something, they don't want to be near them. But you touched him and forced him for photos. How is he wrong if he got mad? And you never asked him why he hates or fears gays." Exactly Tharn, exactly. I mean, the same could be said for Tharn, but he's learning. Sometimes, you learn the hard way.

Type explaining about the media. See, victims and survivors don't like pity for a reason. Honesty leads to honesty. Tharn is honest about liking Type. Then he backs off. Before he would have kept pushing, but now he is backing it off and just letting Type think. See the smile that Tharn gives when Type just lays down. It's a win. There is no anger or raging. He just lays down. No comfort blanket.

Type comes back to the dorm and is his normal aggressive self. Remember, though, that this is used to cover his emotions. Tharn has started to figure this out, hence the smile when Type asked why he came back early. There is now an open, honest communication there, while Type is still using a macho man attitude to hide his insecurities. He isn't lashing out and attacking. There is a release to talking about your trauma, and Tharn gave him that, then he protected him. There was already attraction, but now there are feelings. Type is naturally going to fight this, but Tharn, he understands Type now. Which makes him harder to fight. There is no anger, just compassion, caring, and love. Which is what a victim/survivor longs for.

In the book when Type asks Tharn to sleep with him and Tharn asks who will top. It's pretty accurate, too, and many of you who have read enough of my blog would recognize some things. Such as Type talking about vomiting at the idea. How many of you were even aware that was something at a lot of survivors still do, even years later? The reason why I bring this up, is because I have had so many people be like, "I never heard that MAME was a survivor." Well, it's all right there to see. She doesn't need to verbally tell you. She is telling you through her art, you just have to look.

Type Now, Tharn is one hundred percent aware that Type is not having sex with him due to owing. He knows the attraction is there. He's very politely not calling Type out on it. For Type's part, he's just lying to himself. Which is very human nature. We can clearly see whose experienced sexually and who isn't. Fyi in the book Tharn started having sex at a very early age and admits to being basically a man whore. While Type has had one high school gf.

Book Excerpt: Tharn took out a hand and stroked my back and my tight back muscles. Caressed me contentedly. I always wanted to get touched like that…

Type tells Tharn, "I'm a man, don't treat me as a woman." It's not meant to be a put down to women. It's mean as that macho cover up of, I am never weak. Don't treat me as weak. Then, them going to the doctors to get test together is one of my favorite parts. It's the way Tharn now talks to Type. It's a charming, begging, and canoodling type of way. And it works like a charm, in the way that anger and commands wouldn't work on Type. And Tharn's face, all huge smile when Type says sex only.

Did anybody pay attention to Tharn's sex story? Notice his face. He might be saying it was consensual, and maybe it doesn't haunt him like Type's does, but he regrets it whole heartily.

Techno inviting Tharn is to eat with them is so Techno. He is so shipping them hard. Tharn being thrilled that Type knows his favorite drink. The back and forth truly shows how they are perfect for each other. And can he preform his duty tonight. 🤣🤣🤣

Well, that it for this episode. Hope you guys found it insightful. 💜💜💜

[1800duckhotline]

i know u mentioned salice and gale have stuff going on can i ask abt it ?

you can always ask about it. this ask is from a week ago. i am sorry. i promise you that ive been honestly like digesting the game ending and juggling how to answer this at the same time. ill try to be very short and brief with my Thoughts

I'll still put this under a readmore after a bit because it might still be long and embarrassing LMFAOOOO

The short of it is that it starts rocky when the adventure starts because Salice has like. a potent dislike for wizards (i'll hear you say: vera you said her best friend is a wizard and her grandma too. i say: i'll get to it) and so immediately she would find him Insufferable. This is mostly a one-sided thing though bc I imagine him going "I'm just here man. I didn't do anything to You"

For how otherwise like harmless Gale is, she would find his lackluster humility and tendency to slip into condescending tangents very annoying, and in my head she'd always have to make quips or remarks about it. As it is one-sided on her part, I imagine he still acts amicable and tries not to turn discussions into arguments, even if her unwarranted hostility can get grating

This is also because salice in general is a distant, aloof individual who's acting as the nice guy out of pure circumstance. She's been on the road for more than 4 years after a bounty was put on her head in baldur's gate; she hardly trusts, and retains most of her past prejudices against those who are naturally gifted in magic, or are in general more attuned to it. [a/n: the details of this are in her biography] Since I imagine Gale being insightful enough to notice this, but not wanting to pry about it, kind of gives the hint that there's not just a simple-minded superficial dislike going on but something a little more complex. But again, he likes privacy and she does too. So it's just there in the air.

That said a turning point I imagine in their relationship with one another kind of is the weave scene in act 1? The best way I can put it is that yes, Salice is kind of mean to him oftentimes, but a lot of times also seems interested in the things he talks about (this imagine being a bit after they start adventuring so shes letting sliiightly loose on her distancing with the others), so he's like hey, well, I mean, why not show a magic trick. It can help with our bond since we need to stick together :-)

And the scene happens and it leaves Salice like. Befuddled. Because. Y'know. the whole Weave Rejection Problem she's had since forever. For an instant, one random night, during an awful unwanted adventure, She Did It. She channeled the Weave. The thing she Sold her Soul Over, you know, to be able to Do That. At the end of the scene she's got a thousand yard stare and he's like "????? are you alright" and she's just like Dead Inside, just a little bit

AGAIN HARD TO PARSE MY THOUGHTS BUT LIKE the short of it is that she's like. Okay. i need to get my feelings in check. but EVIDENTLY if someone's gonna have answers it's gonna be THIS GUY. So she decides to be nicer if not to try and get answers. Getting HELP is another thing, but if he's such an expert and having him around made that channeling happen then he knows something maybe???? Hopefully???? This is all before he reveals that he's got a nuke in his chest.

When that happens it all clicks together for her - a little too close to her own kind of story even if obviously she didn't get the attention of a goddess, but is rather seeking the attention of an entity she isn't even sure exists. But she did also catch the attention of a powerful archdevil, so it's similar, she figures. It's funny because I imagine her going "man, that sucks. I totally get it, dude. Happened to me too. Sorry about it. We'll find a solution I'm sure" and he goes "What do you mean 'happened to me too'? Do you care to elaborate" "Absolutely not ."

it's all kind of a Tell or Not To Tell game because Salice has Psychological Issues even if shes a chad and is generally very secretive of her past and such.

I have more thoughts to spare but i think I rambled enough. However I will add that I think in my head the reason why the romance makes so much sense is because fundamentally they are very similar in what motivates each of them but also drastically different in how they approach their objectives.

Gale made his gravest mistakes due to his ambition, even if the intentions were as good-natured as can be. He wanted to prove himself not only loyal but equal to Mystra, which was risky in of itself, but well definitely human of him to do. He is regretful of it in the present days of the story and he can be either encouraged to stray away from or follow that ambition when the crown of karsus enters the stage. He has a sense of recklessness when it comes to his own-selfbeing if the (initially) very self-sacrificial dialogues mean anything. And They Do Salice also committed the stupidest deed out of a desperate pursuit of power and ambition. The fact she could not succeed her grandma's lineage was driving her mad enough to sell herself to an archdevil, so long she would have powers, and so long he'd honor an utterly delusional desire of hers. How I imagine it, if she were a companion you can stray her from staying a warlock, or just let her be and suffer the consequences of not giving Mephistopheles back the Crown (since I am 100% he would somehow want it back). Salice's recklessness comes from the fact that she's not afraid of death. Maybe a little too not afraid of it.

But she's also extremely hypocritical because she'd sway him from pursuing godhood, while she's like oh me? No yeah I'm good. Girl you are stupid ? So I imagine that once her own story is unravelled for everyone to know, he'd be like Oh. I Get It Now. That's why you were so MEAN to me. But is he really in the place to judge? In their respective 20s they both ended up doing some pretty stupid things after all, of various degrees of severity

Oh this is embarrassingly long. Well I'm sorry if you are still reading this this is the delirium of a madman . That said thank you also for the questions I'm still ironing out some kinks and I am happy to answer any specific question/curiosity tbh I want to draw comics about them but im SLOW... as well as in general salice and the companions

[seance]

What are your thoughts about season 3 of TUA?

Let’s start with saying I’m now comfortable with admitting I liked it more than s2. Until episode 4 I was seriously worrying about the pace of the plot, it felt very all over the place but once the various storylines started to unravel, I was definitely curious about the direction they were pulling us towards. So there’s that, even though nothing can ever top S1 in my heart and that’s cause s3 suffer from the very same thing that made s2 so difficult to digest for me the first time around: tone inconsistency.

I want to make a huge disclaimer before I continue and that is: this is obviously an opinion I formed thinking about the show with a critical approach like I do with everything I enjoy, I like to think and talk about it “seriously” and then putting those thoughts into perspective if the context of said piece of media requires it. So don’t think I don’t know why the writers have chosen to give the show a lighter feel, a more nonsensical vibe etc. I’m not trying to over dramatize anything here, this is just something I really care about and I find it engaging and entertaining to talk about it with other people more in depth. ♡ At the end of the day, it is just a show about wacky interdimensional stuff.

THE CONS

With that out of the way I can surely tell you the one thing I disliked completely was Luther’s treatment and writing which I have already addressed in this ask but to reiterate I personally find the way they jumped from one characterization to the other incredibly jarring. This is not to say he can’t be the fun, affectionate one, I love that about him, love how it can be read as a deconstruction of the persona Reginald forced him to be to keep him complacent (stern, hyper responsible, detached) BUT it’s all taken to an extreme with him. Like they didn’t know what to do with his character after S1 so they decided to dumb him down, give him all the comedy gimmick, never again explain his train of thoughts and just leave it at that.

To add salt to the injury they immediately threw him in one of my most hated trope: romance at first sight. This is totally a me problem, I want everyone to know I acknowledge this but it’s a huge mood killer for me. I can uphold my suspension of disbelief for eldritch tentacles and time travelling teenagers but I draw the line at ‘I was moping and whining about my sister having married another man two hours ago but now everything I do or say will be for the sake of this random alternative dimension woman I just met in my old living room’. I’m sorry but no, it immediately antagonizes the characters for me, you do this and I can assure I’ll have to work twice as hard to even try to care about them in the slightest and it honestly sucks because I don’t think him and Sloane aren’t cute or don’t work in general. I just wish we could have seen at least SOME build up to it? One shred of her personality that didn’t involve her very sudden immortal love for Luther? It shined through in glimpses here and there but it still felt forced. That fact that he suddenly discards his family and even says her name as he dies, I mean c’mon. You have to SHOW me changes in your characters, you can’t just TELL me it’s there, this is the kind of writing that gets on my nerve. Especially because it wouldn’t have taken a genius to write it a little bit more consistently and still making it work. They had to finally separate Luther and Allison, which is more than fine (even tho I wish it wouldn’t translate in ‘they never interact normally again’), Luther needed to gain a new purpose, a sense of independence after being let down by his dad for one last time in s2 and having come to terms with his disillusionment and isolation. I’m really not a fan of implying he finds all this in a romance instead of building the characters separately and then maybe having the romantic relationship has a bonus, it would have felt 10x more natural and there wasn’t any reason to sacrifice their sense of self. The show made a point (S1) in characterizing the Hargreeves as people who have super powers but incredibly real, overwhelming, gritty and relatable problems. This entire storyline felt so disconnected from that kind of vision, I simply couldn’t get behind it.

A similar thing, in a less messy form, happened to Diego. Don’t get me wrong, I know they take care to insert bits and pieces of siblings interactions here and there but I’m starting to notice how they really struggle in actually managing their dynamics in a consistent, diversified way. Diego was basically isolated from his family all season. Not narratively speaking, it’s just that they always had him spend all his time with Lila and Stanley. Y’all, Lila gets to spend time on her own with Five and Diego don’t. He is just suddenly in dad mode and that’s it. He doesn’t have one single 1vs1 meaningful interaction with anyone else (brawl scene with Allison notwithstanding, that one I liked very much). Where with meaningful I mean somehow serious and/or relevant to the plot. This is the same character that gave us an incredible insight about him AND the others through his dialogues with Klaus (I have the sneaky suspicion they completely separated them in s2 cause of all the shipping but I’m still mourning them), Luther, Five and even Viktor. If you really think about it, we understand what life in the Academy was like at first through Diego’s eyes. I was honestly sad to see him kinda estranged now, they exacerbated his ‘slice now, ask questions later’ side and called it a day. Again, I know I’m generalizing on some things, he had some cute exchanges but in the grand scheme of things they just fell short to my eyes. Yeah, he had tears in his eyes when Klaus died but still they decided to write the scene like a gag and make it about him and Stan. As usual the new characters can only be developed at the expenses of the ones we already love and that’s why I find it so hard to grow attached. Anyway, my feelings about this are also totally biased and I know this, I never could grow fond of his relationship with Lila (I have an incredible resistance against putting female characters in all these little boxes right away: girlfriend, wife, mother, you have to fall in love immediately or we don’t know what to do with you, oh here you go then be plagued with thoughts and anguishes about your value as a woman once you get pregnant etc.) plus the ‘style’ of their dynamic is really not my cup of tea (constant teasing, manipulations and such) and that’s just about different taste in media tropes so yeah. I’m indifferent about them now, I like both as single characters and I guess I’m just feeling stressed about their story possibly being only about parenthood from now on. Again, totally makes sense for Diego, with all his internalized daddy issues, his sense of insecurity and his overcompensation, I’m glad they feel secure in their relationship and everything but god I wish the writing was different and didn’t hyperfocus on a single dynamic leaving out everything else. Also why did we see him grow into his powers, deviating bullets and such in S2 and this time around he barely touches his knives?

I’m gonna try and speed up from here about the other things that left me kinda eh: there are several plot holes I think? That break up the immersion for me. Like, this is a genuine question if anyone else want to pitch in but isn’t Reginald’s plan basically a retcon to S1? If he always knew about Obsidian and the sigil (and it’s implied that he did since he very conveniently adopted seven children for seven stars/bells in every timeline) and he specifically sent Luther to the moon to guard Abigail (personally preferred the version where it was ACTUALLY meaningless, ‘cause it was such a pivotal point for Luther’s development ugh), why the hell did he kill himself in S1? So the siblings could get together and save the world, that’s what we are told. But if they really had succeeded then what? He was dead, how did he think to put everything in motion then? He says something to Klaus about him expecting his son to summon his spirit and then we’re told in the same breath he purposefully raised them to fear their powers so how did he expect that to work? It could have been his plan all along, you say, the timelines, the dimensions… how? How could have he known that Five would be back? That Klaus would throw the journal into the trash? That Leonard existed and would have found it, that his plan to manipulate Viktor would work, that reconciliation among the siblings would be shaky at best, that they would end up in the 60s, in the same city where he lived years before they were born etc. they are just too many variables. Maybe he was not really dead? No! Klaus finds him in the afterlife so???? I have many questions about that, I hope they’re gonna go over it in s4 at this point.

I’m incredibly sorry to say, I still don’t care about the Sparrows. (picture me saying this like the “You know what I'm about to say it I don't care that you broke your elbow” kid) It was inevitable, there were just TOO many characters and the writers have proven times and times again that they struggle with balancing too many characterizations at once, something had to give. As a concept, they were incredibly interesting but the first three episodes, where it seemed like the main point of focus would have been their conflict felt so weird simply because it was based on something too silly like trespassing (as they put it, they didn’t manage to convey the real reasons very well). Zero depth there about their real motivations, the relationships they shared etc. We vaguely understand they weren’t really close from what Sloane tells Ben but then again, they talk about avenging their siblings in a scene and don’t care in the next, I don’t know everything about them felt strange, like they really were just some placeholder npcs that were never intended to take up much space. So I honestly felt nothing when Jayme and Alphonso died, don’t honestly understand why they wouldn’t tell us ANYTHING about Christopher, was he supposed to be some kind of comedy relief? If so I’m completely off that target audience. Fei and Ben were the only ones that kept me going in those few initial episodes, their dynamic was interesting and kept the tone of the series a little more serious which was what I personally needed. I’m disappointed they took Marcus out in less than an episode, those crumbs we got about his personality and the possible interactions with Viktor and the others were interesting. Also it’s totally not my place to say, but it didn’t really feel right to yeeet another black character this way.

With Sloane, as I was saying it was really just about wasted potential. I look forward to know her better (I know they aren’t gonna get rid of her so easily) but damn if I wish it wasn’t framed by the romance arc. Her powers are super cool? She’s obviously incredibly smart as we gathered from that 3 lines exchange she has with Five as they try to trap the Blitz. She’s very sweet, I liked how she was so open to know every Umbrella better if given the chance and Genesis’ performance was really good! So fingers crossed.

Ben’s everything felt like a huge scam ngl. I had the distinct impression they had cut a lot of content about him, like the Jennifer storyline. Everything about his character was, once again, told to us instead of shown. Kinda like a grocery list, you know? So yeah, he’s jealous, he’s resentful, he was once number one than he wasn’t anymore, anything else? He had his moments for sure and I understand the direction they wanted to take with him, I just think it would have benefitted from more careful writing. As a rule of thumb, I always prefer to see less stuff happening if that means it’s going to be written better instead of a thousand shallow plotlines.

Still not over the fact that they didn’t truly take their time to explore what it meant for everyone and especially Klaus to see him again. Luther, Diego, Allison and Viktor mourned him when they were sixteen. Five didn’t see him for forty-five years just to be told he died without being offered a real explanation. Klaus mourned him twice without having said goodbye and he was the sibling who knew him better than everyone else. Did you notice how everyone described Ben this season? He was the best of us, so sweet, so soft, so timid, so good. That’s what they remember from their childhood. Klaus tells Sparrow!Ben his brother was a dark cloud, he was annoying, he was relentless, he was a scold but he was THEIRS and they all loved him, Klaus loved him for it. Their bond was tried times and times again by the life they both had to lead from childhood to adulthood and it was strained in the end but it was also real and very deep. Episode 8 does a good job at making us see what really is going on inside their heads and how Sparrow!Ben is actually feeling the weight of the comparison. It was worth expanding imo, with Klaus especially being allowed to grieve.

The last real con I want to address is of course the elephant in the room which I kept for last cause in my opinion it’s exactly the monster child of this whole inconsistent writing: Allison and Luther’s scene. I won’t insult anyone’s intelligence by reiterating the fact that the act itself was horrible and not something anyone should ever condone but I think the real problem here is what they decided to do after. That scene was meant to show us viewers how desperate and how low Allison had fallen into her grief. It feels incredibly wrong to say but narratively speaking it could have made sense, it was indeed a very shocking, very intense scene. Emmy and Tom both did great in conveying how terribly wrong everything felt in that moment, how the actions of the characters were being portrait in a negative light which is obviously the intent here. I do not agree with never showing bad things on any media because these are things that happen every day and they tell a story. Allison’s struggle has always been about her relationship with her powers and validation, this is not all there is about her but it’s part of her identity as a character. While I am glad they framed the situation as wrong and that she stops shortly after in realization, what I do not agree with is how after that the writers basically never address it again. What’s the point of showing such a scene if you aren’t ready to write the aftermath with the same dedication and careful attention? If they knew it had to be that way then it would have been better not to put it in the show at all. Cause it wasn’t vital to Allison’s breakdown but could have had an important connotation for both her and Luther (how often do we see men portraited as the victims?). All they left us with instead is a half-assed message of ‘it wasn’t a big deal, you see?’ and that’s wrong cause it's a huge disservice especially to Allison’s character which is actually one of my favorite and represents something even more important for many of the viewers.

THE PROS

Whew, that was heavy. I’m sure I didn’t even touch all the points I wanted to address but honestly, we all need a little more positivity right now so onto what I liked instead! I’m at 2777 words, I’m gonna try to summarize for real this time oh my god.

Compared to S2 the siblings spent more time together actually talking and communicating. Not enough to avoid the usual trope of ‘sibling x disappears and not one notices’ and/or ‘I’m not actually gonna pay attention to anything you said’ that’s getting on my nerves lately ngl. But at least we had some more quality time among them and a good understanding of how closer they all got in the last few weeks.

Viktor’s coming out was handled in a very sweet, tender way. From what I read trans viewers appreciated it too and I think that’s really important. Absolutely loved the easy affection and immediate understanding from everyone else, it didn’t feel forced or anything, just personal enough to make it very soft and believable. On that note, it was a joy to see how Elliot’s and by proxy Viktor’s confidence skyrocketed after he was finally able to act in a body that felt more like his. His smiles were so contagious and I loved to see him so assertive and involved this season. His relationship with Allison is one of the most complex of the entire show and it made sense they focused on that to tell part of S3’s story but I look forward to see him interact with his brothers more in the future.

With the exception of what we have already addressed, Allison’s path was the most engaging to watch. Emmy was outstanding this season, I’m so glad she got her moment to shine because she’s a terrific actress and what happened to her character this season was something worth telling. Allison’s rage was a long time coming so it didn’t surprise me they chose that route, in this case even tho we don’t really know much about Claire and Ray (who’s still my fave extra character from s2, the only one I grew attached to) her motivations don’t feel forced or out of place because what’s matter is what we saw through her eyes. We just need to know how important they are, especially Claire, for her and that’s something that’s been consistent since S1. I related to her anger this season, grief is not all about sadness and withdrawal, it’s even more often about fury. And considering how she’s right about the others trying to minimize her anguish because it’s been 30 years and they’re still learning how to really exit survival mode where all it matters it’s your own well-being, her downward spiral makes total sense. Anger is a protective emotion but it swallows everything else more often than not, in her case it took away her inhibitions regarding her powers and the moral courtesies she usually extended to others and now felt weren’t really reciprocated. It was sad and intense to see her grow apart from everyone else but I’m curious to see what the reckoning is going to be.

Klaus and Five were part of why I liked this season way more than S2. I’m biased since they’re both my faves but I was just so glad to see them interact more in a less snippy way. This season addressed Five’s conundrum from a different perspective: he has lived all his life with the weight of something massive like the end of the world on his shoulders and he never had time to fill his head or his heart with anything else except this impeding sense of doom and responsibility. But he is tired and just like Luther, he is disillusioned because the universe seems intent in proving him wrong, in ending just the same no matter what he sacrifices to prevent it. It was very telling to see how this knowledge (that there wasn’t anything else he could do) liberated him instead of putting him down. He was finally able to soften his cutting edges, get to know those siblings he fought so hard to save better, let himself be known, indulge in the little things. To Five, trust is everything and he never trusted anyone, we are repeatedly shown this. Now he finally let himself lean on the people who know him and care for him and didn’t find them lacking. Confiding in Klaus, talking honestly with Viktor, being open to work with Lila, genuinely caring about what Luther wanted to do before dying, sharing an easy camaraderie with Diego, noticing what was wrong with Allison. He was so attuned to the human aspect of it all and that’s what, in the end made him choose to jump on the star against every instinct he had had up until that moment. Reginald keeps insisting on their similarities and it’s true, they’re similar in intellect, motives, methods but there are lines Five will never cross time and time again cause he’s willing to learn and part of him won’t lose that hope that kept him alive all those years in the apocalypse. His biggest vulnerability transforms into his biggest strength every single time and that’s something Reggie can’t take from him. Ps: loved his scenes with Lila, they’re really fun together and it’s interesting to see how their past in the Commission gives them this very peculiar vibe that only they share, their own rhythm. That said I would have loved to see him interact more with Ben and maybe it would have made more sense that at least part of Klaus’ storyline with Reginald would have been Five’s instead.

Last but not least, Klaus. You all know I could talk forever about him but that also means I probably already said everything I wanted to say in my various gifsets. I was afraid they would use him to completely redeem Reginald to our eyes and that didn’t really happen so I’m glad. I have to say, I kinda gaslight myself into finding a plausible reason why Reginald chose him to infiltrate the family since the show didn’t really bother with telling us. First of all, there’s the empathic aspect to consider. Klaus is one of the most, if not the most empathic sibling among the seven of them. It all gets mixed up with is erratic behavior but we are shown time and time again how much he cares. And that’s usually also his downfall because people tend to either abuse or distrust this part of his personality. What he lived through as a child and the instability that kept characterizing his years on the streets and his addiction made him maybe more fragile to emotional manipulation because he never really had anything to himself that wasn’t taken away violently afterwards. The number of interpersonal relationships he manages to maintain in the present are all dependent on his input for now because people don’t really seek him out. So for him, the possibility of rewriting part of his past with his dad, the most traumatizing figure in his life, was incredibly tempting and I get that. I don’t actually think he would have just stood there and got himself killed in that horrible way time and time again but I guess it was for plot and comedy (sigh) reasons. I appreciated seeing him grow into his powers, him remembering what really happened in that mausoleum but I have to say it was maybe more Robert and Colm’s performances that brought that intensity to life because like with everything else about Klaus, the writers have this habit of letting heavy important shit just slide, with every other character always underreacting or not caring at all. It was also all very short lived since everyone lost their powers now, hopefully not permanently because what the fuck. I’m just ? about why Reggie decided to leave him to die if he knew he needed the kids to activate the sigil (without Klaus he would have sacrificed Allison instead and that’s ic but the more the better, in theory?) maybe he was just afraid Luther’s ghost would manifest and tell him what really happened? I don’t know, it was heartbreaking to see (yet another betrayal from someone Klaus had grown to trust) but also a little bit thrown out there. The realization he comes to aka him not belonging to the living world, not deserving to live even because of his mistakes and the life he led was absolutely crushing, they immediately had to ruin it yet again with the funny lines but one day I will have my revenge and I hope he can have a real heart to heart with his siblings where they ALL listen to each other.

Okay I’m surely forgetting something (Reginald is an incredible character and even tho they keep tweaking him like they do everyone else, Colm manages to keeps a consistency to him that makes him absolutely compelling, just like Aidan does with Five. Very appreciated) but this is already impossibly long and impossibly messy probably.

To summarize, it is clear that S1 will never be topped, it was the perfect balance of serious topics treated seriously and light intervals of fun. But they had years to write it properly, now with Netflix it’s all about speed and the general public. To me, this will forever feel like a loss but I can only hope we’ll still get to enjoy the show overall like I did with this season in the end and maybe take it a little less seriously that I do.

[jiminrings]

Hiiii jiminrings aka one of my favorite authors everrr aka supreme ruler of angst and pathetic, sniveling men! I must say I've never read angst quite as cutting as yours, blood running cold, jaw hanging open, you know the type. Thanks so much for sharing your creativity and time with us!!! I really mean it.

I've read some of your previous works, but fail safe has managed to hit different, and that's very hard considering hbjimin!!!!!! and 478jk!!!! (Ik I'm echoing a popular sentiment on here, but you deserve your flowers)

I need to confess that when I first started reading fail safe I felt so taken aback by your oc's characterization, to the point I didn't even like her. But halfway through the first part, I had a big, fat epiphany and realized the only reason I felt unsympathetic towards here was because (SHOCKER!) that's my twin lowkey 😭😭 I was like oh....... so this is how it feels like to have a mirror held up to your face 😂🫵

Even though I've always grown up as a pretty responsible, independent kid who had big dreams and a sense of passion I'm currently at a point in my life where I feel very lost and confused and unsatisfied with my life. I have felt that spark of fashion almost totally dampened, and as a result I feel like (some of) the people around me kinda look down on me a little / are very worried about my near future / are very condescending about where I'm at emotionally and existentialist (basically oc and yoongi's dynamic). Making that connection.... hurt and made reading this fic so much more emotional.

This means I have a HUGE VENDETTA AGAINST FS YOONGI FOR TREATING OC LIKE SHIT AND BEING A CONDESCENDING, PEDANTIC ASSHOLE!!!!! He's borderline demonic, talking to her life that throughout her teen hood, no wonder she has such a negative self-image, in spite of working to build herself up. But the issue is that she's working from such a shaky foundation and she hasn't healed one bit 🥺 kinda feel she's self medicating through her work (like yoongi maybe but I don't care about his bum ass). She's in a very unfair position cause she doesn't have anyone in here corner in terms of like her immediate family circle (except for her mom but she can't talk about it with her cause it will break her heart knowing yoongi has always been like that to her 🥺- like seriously what is his issue???? did he flip on oc cause he has unresolved romantic feelings that he couldn't act on cause of 1. age gap and 2. Namjoon). Speaking on Namjoon, WHAT AN ASS!!!! He gave me ptsd to all the times my brothers chose to be insensitive towards me and not stick up for me.

Overall, there are so many mixed feelings. I understand her still having a complex with yoongi cause there's too many unresolved issues and hurt feelings that have been repressed for too long and that just keeps her on a cycle instead of allowing her to fully let go. So I don't judge her for it cause I've been there, done that.

I'm sooo excited for what's to come. I'm looking forward to the mysteries being revealed (my prediction for second lead is mr. kim taehyung himself), gut-wrenching lines courtesy of your lovely brain, and oc development! I'm ready to scream, cry, run around, jump off a cliff, swim in circles ❤️

I apologize in advance for the long ask. Also, star emoji anon, you're a legend lmao

ok first of all thank u second i love yew n third u don’t know how much this means to me!!!! fs yoongi is rlly up there with his predecessors (hbjm and 478jk) and for him to be the superlative of something (derogatory),,, that rlly says something!! i won’t ever get tired of thanking sweet sweet people like you and ur flowers <3 if i could digest them i already would’ve . STOPPPPP U R LITERALLY TWINS !!!! triplets if u count me n quadruplets if u account for all the other anons that had fs resonate w them!!! i feel you So So much bc we r almost exactly the same!!! being ambitious as a child (i’m the youngest if u couldn’t tell… womp womp) without no clear picture of what you want to be, then turning into someone who has no actual passion at all except for the desire to live a good n secure life… whew!!! thank god i only have irl yoongi on my side though and NOT fs yoongi bc that would’ve been really something 😑😑😑 thank u thank yewwww i actually love it whenever people tell me they have mixed feelings bc oh my god yer telling me that i made you think really hard???? THANK U SO SO MUCH AGAIN!!! never apologize for long asks bc i love them a lot and star emoji anon rlly is a legend n i can confirm that!! LOVE YEWWWWWWW

[livelaughlovenikeiyomiuri]

Nikei Yomiuri is literally my favourite character ever but I have a LOT of grievances with his writing

I could make multiple posts about it, honestly, but I am going to start with something easy and digestible for now, aka his FTEs

Surprisingly enough, I somewhat enjoy them, he is absolutely adorable in them most of the time, I love how genuinely excited he seems at the idea of someone being interested in him and wanting to know him and I like the fact that it ends with Sora calling herself his friend and him being genuinely happy of finally having a friend at all.

And I can't know for sure if it is on purpose or not, but if it is, it's also a case of brilliant writing on Linuj's part, because it also plays into Nikei's struggle of losing those he genuinely cares about and/or being betrayed by them. I think Sora using Nikei's hand to 'kill' Shinji and then trying to convince everyone that it means that Nikei's the real murderer hits much harder after the FTEs, because in this case he isn't just being blamed for murder, but he is also being betrayed by a person that he considered to be his first friend

I also am not too angry about the fact that we end up not learning his past, honestly. Like, yeah, does it suck that we don't know how he was saved and basically his motivation for even being in this game? Absolutely, but from a writing perspective, him not telling us anything is good, actually.

Because Nikei is, in the end, someone that was let down so much that he just can't bring himself to trust and be honest with other people. We still don't know how much of what we saw of him is real or not, how deep the lie that is his persona actually is, why would he go and tell someone his past so easily? If anything, Nikei's last FTE is a good base for an eventual reveal: after Sora has effectively become his friend, he can then begin considering if he wants to open up to her or not.

Which is why I think that him almost confessing and then taking it back at the last second was a weird choice, personally. He has been betrayed by the people that he subconsciously considered his friends and his immediate reaction to this new girl that calls herself his friend is to try to score a date? It feels forced, like Linuj just wanted to add yet one more conquest to the Sora harem.

Personally, I would have had him go something among the lines of "If you are my friend, then maybe I can tell you..." and then having him shy away, showing that he does trust Sora a little bit, but that he still needs time before he actually opens up completely. And maybe that could have been picked up in chapter 4, where you have an event with only him where he explains you his backstory.

I do have other problems with his FTEs though, one of them being his pervertness. Don't get me wrong, nothing is wrong with him being a pervert, that doesn't automatically make him a bad character, but the problem is that this part of his character is effectively non-existent outside of his FTEs. Other than him asking Sora her cup size, I cannot think of any other case in which he makes a dirty joke, or even blushes or gets flustered at others saying sexual things or literally any of the shit Mikado pulls. Even in the woman's fantasy, he doesn't look embarrassed or tries to get the girls to join in, rather just being angry at them. It came out of left field and never made an appearance again, and that just bugs me.

Another problem I have with his FTEs is mostly related to bad writing decisions when trying to give Nikei motivations to become a journalist. Let me preface this by saying: Nikei's reason for being a journalist is the power that the job allows him to get over other people. He is obsessed with the idea of being in control, and nothing screams control like having so much dirt on people that they bend over backwards to do as they're told in exchange of not getting cancelled or, worse, thrown in prison. Nikei is not a good moral person, he only wants to be on top of the food chain.

(And there is also the external reason that Linuj needs as to why Nikei is the former leader of the CoU, and him being a journalist and so having the most information just makes sense)

(I also headcanon that he is autistic and interviewing is his special interest, but I can make a whole post about my headcanons for him on a later date)

Of course, we can't have him tell that he is an amoral dickwad to Sora, so we need other motivations, which are that 1. He wants to do something he believes he can excel at and 2. He wants to do something that allows him to show off his right hand.

Both of those reasons suck.

He is not good with people, clearly, as shown by him immediately asking Sora her cup size after she agreed to an interview and also his large amount of sprites where he doesn't look people in the eye, and talking with others is kind of a big deal for journalists, and the entire right hand motivation is stupid because journalism is not the job to show your sick handwriting skills, and taking notes is not even necessary because journalists are all but required to have recording devices on themselves and they are not even all that expensive to buy. If he truly wanted to show off his hand, calligraphy would have made a thousand times more sense as a talent.

(which he also supposedly has, Linuj has stated that his handwriting is nice and crisp and he takes his notes in cursive like the pretentious asshole he is)

The problem with these motivations is, if they were shit that Nikei made up on the spot for Sora, I wouldn't complain, but they are also used to introduce his obsession with his right hand, which is very much real, so it is implied that the motivations he gave, while not the whole truth, are also not lies.

And I have already explained how those reasons don't make sense.

In short, his FTEs are enjoyable if you want to see Nikei Yomiuri being cute, but they are not useful for anything else other than pandering and when they try to do anything else, they pretty much fail at it.

So, I'm giving them 3/5 stars because I love being pandered to