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pattywagon2go · 3 months

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FixTF2: What Happened, Why Did Valve Step In, And What Comes Next?

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way affiliated with neither Valve nor the people who run the FixTF2 petition. Do not treat anything I say here as any official announcement of any future plans for the movement. All my thoughts and opinions are mine and mine alone.

As of the making of this post, the save.tf has officially closed down to new signatures, racking up a generous 343,711 total signatures. I've made my thoughts on FixTF2 clear in the past, where I said that I didn't have much hope that Valve would actually do something, but to my surprise, Valve seemed to have finally stepped in and done something about the bot issue plaguing the game for 5 straight years beyond the usual half-assed band-aid fix. In light of Valve surprising me, I want to talk about what's happened, some speculation as to why Valve is potentially doing this, and what I think comes next from all of this.

So, let's clear some stuff up: Is Casual really bot-free?

From what I've seen and heard, yes!

Starting around June 25th, multiple sources reported a massive drop in the active player count for Team Fortress 2 from Steam Charts, being around 15,000-16,000 users vanishing overnight. Many people suspect this to be a large-scale ban wave Valve enacted, and there is a large amount of evidence to support this. (More info from this video by shounic here) Since then, up until the day this post is being written (July 1st 2024), people have reported that Casual servers across all regions have been fairly bot-free, with only the occasional one popping up, a far cry from a month ago, where servers were flooded with them no matter where you went. I myself even hopped on a few games and to my surprise, there were no bots to be found whatsoever. Its honestly been super refreshing to see the game be this clean, as now its actually fun to play once again. I haven't touched the game in months, but since the bots have been kicked out for a little bit, it feels good to play once more. If you haven't played the game for a while cause of the bots, now's your chance to hop in and enjoy the game. Its actually fun to play now that the bots have been squashed. On top of that, (as of the time this post is being written), Valve appears to still be actively curbing cheaters and bots from the game, even setting up a dedicated Steam support page for anyone who gets a game ban here.

So, why's Valve doing any of this?

This is where I'm going to step into speculation territory, as Valve being Valve means there's barely any information they will share with the public, but I'll do my best to come up with some logical explanations. I would say that Valve doing a ban wave has both a short-term goal and a long-term goal. The short-term goal was Valve was always intending to do a ban wave, it just took a while to do. What I think happened was Valve took a while to collect a database of known bot accounts and (presumably) their hosters, and from there, once Valve felt they were comfortable with the amount they had collected, they pulled the trigger and proceeded to wipe them out. They obviously couldn't just outright say "Hey, we're gonna do a wipe of the bots soon" because that would have given the hosters plenty of time to set up proactive measures to make Valve's job harder. The only evidence I really have for this is the dropoff of players on Steam Charts, which shows around 15k-16k players mysteriously disappeared from the game, which seems to point to Valve issuing a game ban toward said accounts/deleting them entirely. Alternatively, Valve could have banned a limited amount of accounts, much lower than the 15-16k shown by Steam Charts, but it sent a scare to hosters who deactivated their bots and took them off the game once they knew Valve was watching them, but this explanation I don't have much evidence to prove beyond scattered Discord screenshots of supposed hosters telling people to change their bot configurations due to Valve clamping down on them. The long-term goal of this, though far-fetched and lacking evidence to support, could have to do with Deadlock, their next game, as a proactive measure to prevent these same malicious actors from flooding the game on Day 1, something many people have pointed out and what's happened to CS2 not even a year into its launch.

(UPDATE: Ok I might as well address this cause it did come up while I was writing the post, but a Team Fortress 2 DLC for an upcoming Funko Pop game called Funko Fusion was announced, and people have said that the only reason why Valve squashed the bots was because Valve wanted the game to look good in time for the crossover.

Now I am by no means a fan of Funko Pop, I think they look a bit ugly and there's a myriad of other things people take issue with, but that's all outside the scope of this post. I personally don't care that this is happening to begin with, as Funko Pops are something I routinely forget about, so as far as the DLC existing, I don't care that much. That being said, if it is true that Valve only squashed bots due to this collab happening to begin with, then that is pretty sad and disappointing to see, with how Valve wasn't motivated to fix the issue until a different company came knocking and asked them to do something cause they didn't want the DLC to look bad. But since there's no confirmation this is the case, Valve does have some level of plausible deniability here, and ultimately, something good did come from this, at a (to me, cause I couldn't give a shit about Funko) nonexistant cost so I won't complain)

So now time to return to the last part of the question in the title: What comes next?

Well for one thing, the war has not been won yet.

A big mistake with SaveTF2 was once Valve tweeted that they apparently "heard" us and were working to improve things, people largely declared victory and chose to stop there. Yet things didn't substantially improve since then, only cascading into a far worse situation. This time around, we cannot give up as quickly as last time. We are on the cusp of victory, but we need to keep the pressure on Valve. Keep holding them accountable for the bot issue. Put pressure on them to get rid of the bots for good. Don't let them off the hook and give them a slap on the wrist for only repelling the bots for a little bit, because believe me, as soon as Valve stops doing anything and slinks back into the shadows, the bots will return, and they will be far worse than anything we've seen thus far. It happened two years ago, it will happen again if we just declare victory now and go home. What Valve is doing is a great change of pace and they do deserve some praise for what they're doing, but we must make sure they stay committed to fixing the issue at hand. The best time for Valve to fix the issue was 5 years ago. The second best time is here and now. For now, hop on a few games and enjoy the (relatively) clean servers. We've earned a small break after our victory, but once you're done, make sure to grab your best bot-stomping boots, because our job is far from over.

#fixtf2 #savetf2 #team fortress 2 #valve

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thethiefandtheairbender · 7 months

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Hiii, I really love your ATLA analyses. I'm genuinely interested, what can you say about this take? I mean, it sounds pretty logical, and I'm really interested to know what objections there might be to that view of EIP?

https://www.tumblr.com/writer-rider-dirty-thirties/744225630324965376?source=share

There's a few main things that meta like this one, I think, miss out on. That said beyond the two paragraphs I'm not really discussing their meta in particular. Everyone's entitled to their opinion, but it does play into why I think EIP gets blown out of proportion while ignoring the more... grounded subtext there? Which is what the rest of the meta response here is about as follows. Please refrain from sending me specific metas in the future - discrediting other people's work is not what I'm about, even I don't necessarily think it's always well argued.

They acknowledge the Doylist perspective... and then completely ignore the actual, textual Doylist perspective they have going on. The writers' intent was to, very evidently, use Ember Island Players to acknowledge their own and fans' reactions to the show (which is why the Great Divide, an episode that the writer of EIP wrote, gets the shaft in the play) by exaggerating and making fun of their own characters and plot points. Grounded in their portrayals yes (Katara does indeed make speeches about hope) but so heavily distorted; just look at how they portray this Katara and Jet, who are completely remorseless about drowning a town ("Oh Jet, you're so bad~").

But the distortion is key. The play pretty glaringly says "Canon Katara would never like Zuko" or vice versa, "because to do so would be a great distortion of her character and characterization." Furthermore, for Katara to only see Aang "like a little brother, and that you don't have feelings for me" is also a distortion, which is why Katara outright states on the balcony, "I didn't say that. An actor said that". It's also worth noting I think that the play itself also erases Aang's romantic feelings for Katara ("I wouldn't want it any other way!"). He doesn't make his feelings plain and be rejected in the play; they just don't exist. So even the play itself isn't saying that there's a love triangle, they're saying that a distorted version of these characters would feature a Katara and Aang that don't have feelings for each other, and a Katara and Zuko that would.

Now, I don't think the play is meant to be that dismissive of fans, either. Like I said - it's meant to poke fun, and the ZK faction had always been quite large and vocal. The crossroads of destiny and its associations with Oma and Shu (which serve the basis for Kataang's love theme) are the bulk of what the ship tends to stand on, 'canon' wise. It makes sense if you're going to do a ship tease with them to do it there, and it's also the last instance you can really make actor Katara 'like' anyone.

It's also a misread to assume Aang would get this angry over jealousy, as well, given that Katara was very obvious with Jet both times, and Aang was very sparingly jealous in Book 1 and only slightly so in Book 2. EIP is one of the rare instances where Aang projects onto other people, a trait more usually seen from his friends.

What makes him upset - and we Know this, because he repeats it outright when they actually Talk about it - is this exchange between actor Katara and Zuko:

EIP!Zuko: I thought you were the Avatar's girl. EIP!Katara: [Laughs] The Avatar? Why he's like a little brother to me. I certainly don't think of him in a romantic way.

That's what makes him potentially upset, which fair enough: it can be upsetting when someone doesn't like you back, especially when Katara previously has given plenty of indications that she does. But he's not mad at her on the balcony. He doesn't take his frustrations over her not seemingly returning his feelings out on her. He's mad because Katara can't, or won't, give him a straight answer.

Aang: You said that I'm just like a brother to you, and that you didn't have feelings for me. Katara: I didn't say that. An actor said that. Aang: But it's true, isn't it? We kissed at the invasion and I thought we were going to be together, but we're not. Katara: Aang, I don't know... Aang: Why don't you know?

AKA "if you don't like me, which I just gave you a perfect out to acknowledge, can you at least confirm it for me?" And she won't even do that.

Katara is usually a very openly emotional person, which is why when it comes to whether she has feelings for him or not (and he has very good reasons to think that she does, given if you remove the Aang's POV we see, Katara is wayy more obvious with her affection than he is), it's accordingly frustrating that she won't just come out and say it. When does someone like Katara hold back? Well... normally when she's concerned about Bigger Things (i.e. not initially pushing with Pakku because Aang learning waterbending is more important to her) or when she's not sure what to do (when Aang rejects her comfort in The Serpent's Pass).

Conversely, his feelings for Katara also makes Aang more likely to stop evading or dodging and to stick his landing. He's the one who tries to confess on two different occasions. He's the one who kisses her first. And he's the one who wants to actually discuss their relationship now. (These are all reasons why I think, if they ever did break up, Aang would actually be the one with the guts to say it out loud, just FYI.)

Alternatively, if we wanna talk about Framing, let's talk about the actual balcony scene, namely Katara's dialogue, and the placement of the moon:

Not only does this balcony scene take place on a balcony like their infamous finale kiss, with parallel framing of Katara walking up behind Aang and seeking him out to talk (if Katara hadn't approached him, it's likely neither would've happened either time) but like

When Yue finds herself in a similar situation with Sokka - a young man she loves, has kissed, but finds herself unable to be with for a variety of reasons - she says almost beat for beat what Katara says here about her feelings and reasonings for wanting more distance. But like both Yue and Katara say, there's more important things going on:

I say this because everyone ignores the aspect of Katara's bond with Aang that is informed by her own trauma and fear of losing people. Aang kisses her because "What if I don't come back?" Katara literally watched him die and brought him back to life. She watched her father mourn her mother and Sokka mourn Yue (The Swamp), which the play likewise gives her an ample reminder of. She watched Jet die too. Katara has faith that Aang will be different ("I knew you'd come" from CoD and "He's gonna come back; he has to" in Sozin's Comet) but that doesn't mean she's not scared. Everyone else going on is complicating her feelings for Aang, and that's perfectly valid -- but like I said, it's a 1 for 1 with Yue.

Which is why she kisses Aang first after the war, on another balcony, because now it is the right time.

This isn't even touching on the in-universe canonical reading of EIP being Fire Nation imperialist propaganda, but that's a meta for another day.

Not to mention: EIP also teases Zukaang through Aang and the Blue Spirit, has them similarly react in distaste, you can equally read Zuko wanting to sit in between them as wanting to sit next to Aang, and Zuko and Aang's dialogue is a lot more ship teased in canon, Anyway.

June: What happened? Your girlfriend run off on you? Zuko: It's not the girl I'm after. It's the bald monk she's travelling with.

Zuko doesn't even correct June for implying a romantic connection, only who he's looking for (love you Avatar "Zuko I want you to dance with me" Aang).

I also personally think that basically any episode that has 'strong' Zuko-Katara subtext actually has far stronger Zuko-Aang subtext, but that's a meta for another day.

I do always think the ZK fandom is a fascinating example of what can happen to a fandom when they only have maybe 5 episodes to work with, nor does ship teasing make something implied canon, otherwise The Dragon Prince (also created by Aaron Ehasz) would have a very different endgame ship (to the point that every Soren/Rayla shipper I've seen also ships ZK, funnily enough, because neither of those are remotely canon).

People have gotta stop taking the bone they're thrown and acting like it's a feast.

#antizutara #atla meta #thanks for asking #pro kataang #atla #analysis series #kataang #otp: penguin sledding

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quincywillows · 8 months

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a scattered and overall supportive review of percy jackson season 1

let me just say first of all, it's extremely fun to be enthused about a tv show like this again. the adaptation isn't perfect, but it's a lot of fun, and you can tell there's plenty of heart and good intention behind what they're doing. i'm very much enjoying tuning in every couple of episodes and catching up -- and avoiding the relentless commentary of the internet while i do so lol.

but now it's time for MY commentary!! to preface, i was a huge fan of the books when i was younger, am a stalwart long-term advocate of the original five books as some of the best children's lit of our lifetime, but i also enjoyed the films a decade ago for what they were and think people (including cough rick cough) are way too harsh about them. justice for logan lerman. anyway

i'm not going to do like a play-by-play, but in summary, here are my takeaways from the first season -- what i thought worked, what did not, and things i'm optimistic about going into the future seasons.

the good

for an adaptation of the original series (which, to be fair, i have not reread in years), i felt this was honest and faithful. there were tweaks, obviously, but none that took me too out of it or felt irredeemable. there was a lot to like about this show, so i want to start right from the top with my highest highs.

the worldbuilding / production design. i absolutely loved getting to see how they imagined certain iconic characters, locations, and sequences from the books. it was so exciting to get to see camp halfblood for the first time on screen (at least, in this adaption) -- that moment in episode two definitely felt like a turning point where we picked up from the somewhat laggy pilot episode. i especially loved the design of mount olympus, aspects of the underworld (hades and his upside down castle were baller, though how did percy and grover get up there lol; and i absolutely loved the choice for asphodel and the ghosts being rooted like trees, i never would've thought of that myself but it was so chilling and unique... just wish i could see it better through the terrible lighting, but we'll come back to that), and of course, camp. even down to the small details, like the camp beads... it's just very cool to see it come to life.

the casting. i wasn't sure about some of the casting when the news was breaking, but i'm very happy to have been pleasantly surprised all around (and have majorly avoided people bitching about every single thing). there wasn't any role where i felt like someone was horribly miscast, and you could tell that everyone involved really wanted to be there and committed. i thought the casting of the gods was especially inspired at times. some of the highlights for me personally:

adam copeland as ares. i had no idea he was apparently a wrestler turned actor until my sister told me, but i thought he was absolutely spectacular. very charismatic, with just the right amount of cringefail that ares needed. i found him thoroughly enjoyable in all his scenes.

lance reddick as zeus. having just played horizon zero dawn recently, oh my lorde was this an inspired choice. he was absolutely brilliant. i'm so so sad about his passing, i don't know how they're going to recapture his performance, but i have faith now that they'll find a way.

timothy omundson as hephaestus. i love that they took a softer, more mad scientist approach to his role than like ugly basement blacksmith vibes... i just thought it was really refreshing. his scene with annabeth, where we got so much humanity from him in such a short span of time, was one of my favorite scenes of the season.

jason mantzoukas as dionysus. i mean. what else can be said. obvious choice, but he was so fun lol. i hope they give him more to do next season.

other standouts beyond the main youth cast for me were jay duplass as hades (his brief appearance in 107 was thoroughly enjoyable) and dior goodjohn as clarisse (she was by far the acting standout of the first couple episodes to me). also very happy to see jessica kennedy parker and sinclair from the 100 get work, lol.

walker as percy jackson. it was really wonderful watching walker grow as an actor even just through the first eight episodes. the difference from 101 to 108 is almost night and day. you can tell how much he cares about the project and percy as a character, and he upped his game with every episode. i cannot wait to see what he turns out in the coming seasons. to be fair, i thought all of the youth cast did a decent job, and i'm giving them a lot of leeway and room to grow since they are literally child actors -- it takes time to hone your craft, and im optimistic they're all going to do a great job as the series goes on. but walker was, definitively and thankfully as the protagonist, the standout.

charlie bushnell as luke. i was so excited when i heard he got cast because i loved him in diary of a future president, and he did not disappoint. i kind of wish he had more to do, but all of that was forgiven in the finale when he had his final confrontation with percy. oh, the acting popped off then -- i can't wait for him to get to chew up the scenery more in the coming seasons.

grover and percy's friendship. it was so sweet to see this come alive, and i thought walker and aryan had excellent natural chemistry together. they were so endearing, and i really believed their friendship basically from the start (them swapping their sandwich fillings is a tiny detail from the pilot that has stuck with me since; i just loved that choice so much). they definitely provided a lot of my favorite moments in the season, and i think evoked the most genuine "aw wow" moments from me.

percy's relationship with sally. since sally was, understandably, absent from the original novel, it was awesome to get the flashbacks here that allowed us to more deeply understand their bond. i thought walker and virginia did a great job with this, and the young actor who played little percy also did a surprisingly great job (he was actually one of the stronger youth actors in the pilot imo lol). you totally understood why percy was doing everything he was, because that mother-son bond felt believable. big shout-out to the absolutely baller line "i am sally jackson's son." one of the first writing moments where i was like oh snap!

the music. a good score really can't be understated, and this one did not disappoint. did just what it needed to do. i also loved the closing title sequence and the art direction there with the epic music -- just such a nice touch that i'm so glad they included.

some of the writing. i'll get more into some of my qualms with the writing below, but there were definitely some great moments that deserve their flowers. i thought they did a great job weaving in some early themes without being heavy-handed about it (percy having to define who he is for himself, mostly). there were some genuinely funny moments that made me laugh out loud, including "i am impertinent," annabeth's "i'm multitalented," and the entire exchange on the road side when the trio to ares are like no... we're fine... ahaha bye... oh and percy trying to drive the taxi out of the garage at the casino was absolutely hysterical.

pivotal scenes hitting their mark. when the show needed to deliver, i thought they really delivered. i absolutely loved the staging and acting in the final luke and percy confrontation -- the lighting of the fireworks was such a cinematic touch. percy's arrival at olympus and scene with zeus was also a big standout. i loved a lot of the st. louis arch episode, and thought the hephaestus golden chair sequence was really well done. overall, the episodes i thought were strongest were without a doubt 104, 105, and 108.

expansion where expansion was welcome. one of my favorite aspects of the series is how it's giving more nuance to the monsters and "villains" of the books. i loved that we got a little more motivation for alecto beyond evil -- that she clearly wanted to accomplish her own mission and retrieve the helm, whether out of loyalty or fear. i loved how medusa got much more depth and humanity, that we're sort of reexamining the fairness of how myths are told rather than just taking it all at face value. i'm really looking forward to seeing how that continues in the next seasons.

the decent

percy and annabeth. to be fair, i think my issue with this is more on the fan reaction than the show itself. i think the show is doing a decent, if somewhat awkwardly paced job, of building their friendship and offering small little hints of what could blossom in the future in classic youth awkward ways -- unexpected hugs, banter, etc. i think walker and leah are both doing a good job, and i look forward to seeing how it develops. but my god, people on the internet are really jumping the shark so hard here. i can't handle seeing more "uwu percy is in love" posts when it's like. y'all. THEY ARE 12. THEY JUST MET. LET THEM ORGANICALLY BECOME FRIENDS FIRST... i just hope the creators don't feed into that and also jump the shark. like yes, we all know where this is going, but can't we enjoy the actual journey to get there instead of forcing what isn't there yet? in any case, on the positive side, some of the moments between them i really enjoyed: the conversation on the train when grover was asleep, the hephaestus chair sequence, annabeth giving him her camp beads before going to olympus (that was a slay... that was a legendary slow burn start moment worth hyping up), the way percy smiled at her in their last scene... that's the good stuff. let's not rush through what we're getting folks. the water is fine.

lin manuel as hermes. here is the thing. i thought lin did a good job. i thought his casting was apt, and fun, and he did a great balance of hermes charisma and like, a darker edge. it's just... the thing about lin manuel is that he's lin manuel. and this is coming from someone who likes him, but it's like he shows up on screen and i'm just like. hey it's lin manuel. it's a bit of a "takes you out of the moment" stunt casting, but i'm not mad about it. i wouldn't call it a bad thing. hopefully it'll wear off (though i doubt it). i guess i'm just deciding that hermes is just lin manuel, which honestly, would kind of track.

the youth acting. mentioned this above, but again, some of that early delivery was rough. but i am giving a lot of grace, and i think they've already improved plenty in the first eight episodes. i felt the same way about shadowhunters back in the day when i thought kat mcnmara was hard to watch in season 1, but by season 3 she was my absolute favorite cast member and came so far. i have no doubt these kiddos will do the same. so very much looking forward to that.

the not so great

the pacing. this was definitely the weakest part of the story writing wise. it wasn't irredeemable, but it did hinder the first half of the show (which didn't lock in for me until about 104, when the stakes truly shot up at st. louis). and that also affected how dynamics and plot points were able to unravel. the biggest victim of this...

the luke reveal. from the start, i was worried about this. since luke was only really in episode 2, i had doubts about whether the reveal of his betrayal would be at all satisfying or earned. i don't know that i can speak on it for sure, since i knew what was going to happen as someone who read the books, but i still feel we should have gotten more of those luke-and-percy-bonding scenes and convos earlier in the series rather than tacked onto the finale as flashbacks. it worked there, but i think it could've been better. thankfully, all of that didn't hinder the delivery of the finale confrontation, which as i said, was a standout moment for me.

the fight scenes. with rare exception, i was pretty underwhelmed with many of the monster battles and confrontations this season. given that's such a huge gimmick of the novels, i hope they're able to revisit and polish up the pacing of these in the future... i just felt that scenes like the museum clash with dodds were so rushed and anticlimactic. or not even confrontations at all, like the scene with crusty. we got a bit more of this at the back half of the season, in the sword fights with ares and luke, but i wanted more of that epic feeling throughout. i'm hoping it's maybe just a budget concern and that it'll improve in the coming seasons -- especially as the bosses get bigger and the stakes get higher -- but i'm not sure i'm optimistic just yet.

some of the dialogue. it was... wooden, to say the least. i think the worst moments of this were when they were trying to force Kid Bants -- which just felt stilted in the earlier episodes -- and whenever they were explaining greek myths point blank to the audience. there were moments it worked, but many where it didn't, and i hope they flesh out how to better info dump in the future episodes. i didn't mind the change of having percy be more familiar with the myths and thus more aware, but they could afford to finesse how they relay that information to us in the audience without basically reading from wikipedia in percy's voice.

the ugly

oh my god i can't see. i can't SEE. this show went to the teen wolf academy of employing one lightbulb and it's actually criminal. there were so many scenes where i really wanted to see what was happening because the stakes were high or the scenery was so pivotal -- the entry into the underworld for the first time, the vastness of medusa's basement of stone, THE FIELDS OF ASPHODEL -- but the lighting was so god awful i legitimately couldn't see a thing. in asphodel i literally could barely see the trio's expressions, it was that bad / flat. the audience is smart, we understand it's dark out. we can suspend our disbelief so you can add some visibility to this thing. i was turning up my brightness constantly but it wouldn't go any higher. please, disney execs, rick, anyone -- GET ANOTHER LIGHTBULB. i'm losing key immersive aspects of the show to this and it's a bummer. when they were walking through waterland for the first time and annabeth was like "wow can you believe this craftsmanship" i was like i don't know, girl, I CAN'T SEE ANY OF IT. begging on my knees that they fix this next season.

well, that ended up longer than expected, but oh my gods it is so nice to be writing paragraphs about a tv show again. all in all, i'd say 7.5/10 from me in this first season. there's so much to be keen for here, and i'm really happy with how it's going so far.

friends and fellow demigods, what did we all think?

#percy jackson #pjo tv #pjo tv show #pjo series #pjo #idk what y'all are tagging with lol #maggie watches tv #maggie.txt

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danganronpa-21 · 7 months

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Rating: Mature Audiences

General Warnings: Implied/Referenced Sex

Fandoms: Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope’s Peak Academy

Relationships: Makoto Naegi/Kyoko Kirigiri

Additional Tags: Post-Danganronpa 3: Hope Arc, Embarrassing Moments, Making Out, Teasing & Flirting, Kyoko Kirigiri being a lil sass pot, Just a heads up that this is a little saucier than what I usually write but it’s still pretty tame

Word Count: 4,075 words

Story Summary: Kyoko decides to take advantage of her boyfriend's free time at work. Byakuya, unfortunately, gets caught in the cross fire of this incident.

[Read it on AO3.]

Kyoko has a keen awareness of her boyfriend’s current… free time.

Well, if you asked him, he would tell you that the time wasn’t really all that free. Just because he wasn’t in a meeting or handling student issues didn’t mean that he had all the time in the world. There was still plenty to do as the headmaster of a school like Hope’s Peak, one that had a myriad of talented but trouble-seeking students. Somehow, even with the end of the Tragedy and the abolishment of the Reserve Course/Main Course system, that little thing never seemed to change. She knows Makoto doesn’t mind it. He never would. After all, the kids who attend Hope’s Peak now probably had to grow up much faster than they should have because of what they had seen. The least he could do was let them be creative, wild, and fun – even if that ultimately was more paperwork for him.

Paperwork. That was usually his something, the thing that would make him insist that he had no free time – not even for his beautiful, beloved girlfriend.

It isn’t as if Kyoko is utterly deprived by her boyfriend, nor does she have an appetite for him so insatiable that she just never seems to have had enough of him. No, neither of those things are the problem. It’s just that, for whatever reason, the danger of wanting to be with him here at work is so much more. She likes that even the casual showing of affection between the two of them is forbidden. She’s never been so scandalous as to go past anything but a kiss, but even that, she is not permitted to take. Both she and her boyfriend are responsible for engaging in the utmost professionalism while Hope’s Peak is in their care, and while Kyoko completely understands why, she finds that it doesn’t stop her from this wanting.

The fact that she cannot control the wanting, no matter how hard she may try, is why she is headed to Makoto’s office now.

Improper it may be, but sometimes, a woman just needs to kiss her boyfriend and not care who is watching.

This is the thought she keeps in mind as she struts towards her boyfriend’s office. What can she say? She loves the thrill. Life has become so quaint since they opened Hope’s Peak, and although she won’t take it for granted given everything they’ve been through… She can’t help but want to add a bit of zest to their lives. Nothing that will hurt, but just… something that will make both their hearts beat a little faster. The thought almost makes her giggle like a meek schoolgirl.

The halls of Hope’s Peak are eerily quiet, save for the sound of her high-heeled boots clacking against the tiled floors and the faint voices of teachers instructing their students just beyond the hallway’s walls. The school is not yet populous enough to be filled with a great deal of noise, but there is some, and Kyoko cannot help but enjoy what she can hear as she makes her way down the hall. The students may in theory be keeping her from her boyfriend, but the joy of them having a future is enough to make her forgive them for that. Besides, it’s not like at this point she is open to being deterred from what she wants.

Her walk down the hallway is quick and simple, not interfered with. Perhaps it’s her intimidating gaze or the strength of her gait, but even those who do cross her path don’t seem particularly interested in stopping her for a conversation or even sparing her a glance of acknowledgement. Their heads dip down and they just keep walking, and for a moment, she wonders if they think she must be on her way to scold the headmaster for something. Though he is higher up in the scholastic food chain by a mile, given that she is only part-timing to focus on detective work, the students all seem to get the impression that she completely dominates him. It’s not something she is unused to people assuming, mind you, considering her serious personality and his gentle, cheerful one. Every once in a while, she even hears rumours that it’s truly she who is calling the shots, and Makoto is just the nice man making everything happen.

If only they knew that I call the shots behind closed doors, too, she thinks with a smirk.

She tries not to let her amusement show too greatly as she makes her way down the hall. That would surely ruin her strict, serious image. Besides, to capture Makoto at his best moment, she has to have a particular demeanour about it – anything else would tamper with her plans. She keeps her face straight and her eyes locked forward, marching confidently towards her mission. As she comes upon the doors to the Headmaster’s Office, she finds that she doesn’t even bother knocking before prying them open. As soon as she can see through even the slightest crack, she catches a glimpse of Makoto and notices how he immediately perks up. How cute. His face only seems to light up in further interest when he realizes who it is coming to keep him company. She has to fight not to giggle as she slips into the room with ease, closing the door tightly behind her. Nobody needs to know that she is disturbing the headmaster’s peace. This little moment, it can stay private between the two of them.

“Kyoko?” Makoto says, staring at her from across the way with this innocently curious expression on his face that honestly kind of makes her heart melt. Once upon a time, it would have horrified her to turn into pudding over a man, but now, she’s a little more comfortable embracing her affections. After all, Makoto isn’t just any man. “I’m surprised to see you here. Is everything okay?”

It’s all Kyoko can do to keep a neutral face when she stops dead, staring him right in the eyes. “Take off your clothes.”

Makoto’s flesh turns fifteen different shades of crimson in a matter of four seconds. That has to be some kind of world record, she thinks amusedly to herself.

“W-What?!” He sputters, slack-jawed, unable to believe what his partner has just said to him.

There might have been more, had she the self-control to keep it going, but the sight of his rose-red face is too funny to bear. She can’t help but snicker at the sight, her lips cracking into a warm smile. Makoto is just so much fun to tease – and, thankfully, he’s a good sport about it, too. As soon as he realizes that she’s played a joke on him, he starts laughing along, too. The relief on his face is instant as he wipes his brow with the back of his arm.

“You’re… rotten, Kyoko Kirigiri,” he half-snickers, dropping his pen on the desk, “You really had me there.”

“I’m sorry,” she replies, not sounding nor feeling sorry at all, “I couldn’t help myself. You really are an open book.”

Makoto shrugs, leaning forward on the desk. His face is still pinkish in places, but the embarrassment is fading, and even with that in place, he is still unbearably charming to her. He’s adorable when he’s flustered, but still so sweet on the eyes in his natural state, too. How is she supposed to maintain a professional decorum around this man when he’s just so delightful to be around?

It sounds silly, she supposes, when you put it like that – but it’s just the truth, as far as she’s concerned. She feels like a smitten schoolgirl somedays. It’s embarrassing and electrifying all at the same time.

Makoto seems to only shake his head at her teasing, heaving a sigh as if to ask what he’s going to do with her. It is not the first time the two of them have gone on like this, not by a long shot, and Kyoko can’t help but love how familiar it all feels. Their relationship is still young, but it makes it feel like they’ve been together for years.

“Is there a reason you want to come see me, Kirigiri-san?”

Kyoko raises her eyebrows in mock-surprise. “Kirigiri-san?” she parrots, folding her arms across her chest. Just a minute ago it was the much more familiar Kyoko, and now…? Oh, he can try and make this business-like all he pleases, but she came here on a much different kind of business. Makoto must notice the hint of coyness in her voice, because his smile begins to melt and turn a bit sheepish.

“W-Well, it’s… this is a school, and nobody really knows about us yet,” he laughs, “If anyone heard us acting too close, they might get the wrong idea.”

She quirks a brow. “And who do you think is eavesdropping on us?” she looks around the room, a small part of her – a more paranoid part – almost wondering if he has a point. Cameras loved them once. Who's to say that they wouldn’t again? “There is no one here but us. The things that go on behind closed doors are our business.”

Feeling her heart skip a beat, she takes this opportunity to move closer to her partner. Her walk is meant to be sultry as she struts to his side, but her lacking experience in the area of seduction just makes her feel a bit stupid. Thankfully, she is Makoto’s only experience with a woman intending to pursue him, so he turns into a bit of a puddle for her anyway. His face warms as she approaches, and when she places a hand on the back of his office chair, leaning over him so her long lavender hair hangs down over top of him, she can actually hear his breath hitch. She loves it. His eyes are clouded with a mixture of excitement and worry, and she knows that he must get butterflies in his stomach when she opens her mouth to speak once more.

“There is no one here but you and I, Makoto. This free time that you have, it’s just for us.”

Makoto actually gulps. She swears she sees his eyes flick to the door briefly, like he’s worried that someone is going to barge in. “F-For us?”

She nods. “You’ve been so busy lately. I feel like I never see you.” she struts herself right in front of him, and for a moment, she contemplates plopping herself right down on his lap… but something about that just feels a bit too scandalous. She opts to hop right up on his desk instead, not really thinking about the fact that that might not be much better. She tilts her head teasingly at him. “Surely you can make some time for your significant other, can’t you?”

The sweat must be beading on Makoto’s skin now. He pushes himself to his feet, although he doesn’t seem exactly sure why he does it. For a moment, just a flicker of a moment, it looks as if he might want to protest – push her away, remind her that she’s supposed to be the more responsible one of the two of them – but it dies. Instead, his eyes can do nothing but fall to her lips, looking dazed and confused.

“I… I thought…?”

“You thought what?”

“You’re not, like, propositioning me right now, right?”

“For what?”

“For…” his face reddens again. “I thought we talked about not being ready for that right now.”

Kyoko scrunches up her nose, almost as if disgusted by the prospect. “I’m not propositioning you for that, no.”

The worry fades just a bit, and she notices him start to nibble on his lip ever so slightly. He doesn’t know what’s going to come out of her mouth next – she can tell. She wonders if he’s enjoying the uncertainty. “B-But for something, yeah?”

She sighs and shakes her head, gesturing him over to her. “Just hold your tongue for a minute and kiss me.”

Makoto’s eyes widen for a second, processing the information. The moment he does, however, he follows her instructions with ease. Rushing over, he is now just about at her level, his hand slipping along the underside of her jaw, tilting her head towards him a bit for better access to her lips. She tips her head up a bit to help, and tries not to smile to herself at how grateful he seems for the assistance. Makoto is a pleasant but inexperienced kisser. He likes to try extra hard to make his kisses good.

When he connects their lips, she’s almost surprised by how warm they are. In the midst of a chilly winter, the presence of his warmth is more than a little welcome. It pairs well with the taste – caramel and espresso, perhaps even a hint of whipped cream, although she recognizes that she could be imagining that part. Makoto is the only man she’s met who is so comfortable with ordering a caramel macchiato, but tasting it here on his lips, she finds she can understand what he’s talking about when he says it truly is the best coffee drink. Sweet, and warm… just like him. Soft, too. Soft like his smile, soft like his heart, are his lips. She used to think boys would have unkempt lips, cracked and unpleasant… but Makoto’s were always soft to the point of being almost silken. At times, kissing him felt so perfect that it was almost like it was unreal. Why else would she put herself at the mercy of being caught if she didn’t love it this much?

Her heart swells with affection as his fingers tangle in her hair, tucking some of the silvery-purple strands behind her ear as he deepens their kiss. She hums appreciatively. He’s taken the tips she’s given him. She can’t help but smile against him. She never used to think she would be able to feel such happiness, yet now, the two of them are infinitely together, infinitely connected… In this context, the two of them kissing would be considered so improper, but if it’s really that big of a deal, why does it feel so right? This is all Kyoko can think about, all she can dream of, as she parts her lips to allow Makoto’s tongue to slip into her mouth. Everything about this moment is too perfect, and she could stay in it forever if fate would allow her to. This is all she wanted today – just a flawless moment with her boyfriend, the one man who had destroyed her preconceptions of love. If fate could allow her that, then that was all she needed.

Unfortunately, however, fate finds a disciple in Byakuya Togami.

The door swings open in the blink of an eye. Neither Makoto nor Kyoko has a chance to react or resist as it does. It swings open large and wide, with no discretion or thought given to it, the perfect embodiment of Byakuya and his callous nature. At any other time, she might leap up to break apart from Makoto, but the realization hits her so slowly she doesn’t have the time. Kyoko would swear on her grandfather’s life that she didn’t hear Byakuya’s footsteps coming down the hall, nor did she know that he would have business with Makoto at this hour. She had no idea about him also sharing the gap in his schedule. Her main focus, and quite frankly her only concern, was that Makoto had this free time.

It's what makes it all the more aggravating that Byakuya reacts in loud, disapproving disgust.

“Ugh!”

Makoto breaks off the kiss the second he hears Byakuya’s voice, his face flushing bright red once more. At this point, she’s wondering if he may end up staying like that permanently. Out of the corner of her eye, Kyoko can see her plum-coloured lipstick smudged on Makoto’s mouth. Were the situation less compromising, she might have laughed, yet with Byakuya’s eyes boring into them…

“Of all the-! What is the matter with you two?!” He stomps his foot on the ground like a child, or an employer infuriated with his insubordinate employees. He probably sees them as the latter, if she had to guess. Still, even with this thought in her head, she notices that he seems unable to hide his own embarrassment. The tips of his ears, much like Makoto’s entire face, are tinged pink, and he seems to be darting his eyes around everywhere but their faces. Much as he might dislike admitting it, they are his friends. Even for him, this must stir some odd feelings. It’s no secret to her that many of their companions don’t think of them as sexual beings. They do like to make jokes about their current absence of a sex life. “This is extremely unprofessional!”

Kyoko’s lips press into a flat line. In the back of her mind, she knows that some part of Byakuya is right. There really is a lot to be said about employees, particularly two educators, who seem utterly incapable of keeping their hands off each other. That being said, he is the one who rudely shoved the door open without so much as a single knock. He just assumed Makoto should have this time available to him because he thought that it was free on his schedule. She contemplates laying into him for that in an effort to save face. Truth be told, she doesn’t care much that they’ve been caught, considering it was only by Byakuya, but she knows it will bother Makoto. That is the only reason she even considers trying to reason with their friend.

“It’s… um…” Makoto stammers, reminding her of an anime character just bulleting with sweat, “Well, I… I can… explain…?”

The nervous chuckle he lets out, combined with the scratching at his cheek, makes Kyoko think that that would be unlikely. He looks like he could sweat right through his suit. She could see him fitting in in a sauna right about now.

“Explain what, exactly?” Byakuya snaps. “There is no good reason for you two to… to… To be so brazenly sucking face in the middle of your work day! Have you no shame?”

“That’s quite enough, Togami-kun,” Kyoko scolds, long before she can actually consider whether or not she wants to let him keep going. Without interrupting, they’ll get by easier, but at the same time, she dislikes the way he’s speaking to them. They most definitely were not kissing hard enough to qualify as “sucking face”. Tongue-kissing? Maybe, but there was no face-eating involved, and she intends to make that very clear to him. “Perhaps you have learned your lesson now about knocking before you go opening doors?”

Byakuya clutches his chest in offence. “Me?! You were the ones who-”

Kyoko folds her arms across her chest, sliding off Makoto’s desk to stand and fully face her accuser. This is not the first time that the two of them have engaged in a battle of wits, nor will it be the last, but she knows that in order to win this one, she must look him straight in the eye. Then, and only then, will he start to falter. It is crucial that she make that signature Kirigiri glare work for her once more.

“Who were having a private moment of passion which you so rudely interrupted by bursting through the door.”

Makoto looks like he wants to speak, to add something of substance to the conversation that they are having, but he seems to know well enough to keep his mouth shut. With his level of humiliation, he is in no condition to help Kyoko against Byakuya, nor cut down what Byakuya is saying about him and Kyoko. He is best to just sit and watch, look and listen. Like a good boy, he understands that.

“Certainly you must understand the importance of privacy, Togami-kun. I don’t imagine Mr. Pennyworth came bursting through your door anytime he pleased. You must extend the same courtesy to Makoto and myself. We certainly wouldn’t go bursting through your door.”

Byakuya grits his teeth. “You’re deflecting, you vile little minx.”

Minx, Kyoko thinks. That is new. He has never called me that before. She is not offended. Byakuya’s insults scarcely mean much of anything. They just fly out of his mouth as easily as air goes in.

“Deflecting from what, exactly? Your lack of manners?” She taps her chin. “I think we should be able to forgive you for your transgression, but I surely think we will struggle more if you refuse to let bygones be bygones.”

Byakuya releases a low growl from somewhere in his throat. It reminds her a bit of an animal, but it is not vicious enough to tell her anything other than he is preparing to back down.

“Come now, Togami-kun. You’re embarrassing Makoto.” She shakes her head. “I just wanted a moment alone with my boyfriend. Are you really going to shame us for that? You must understand how important it is for a couple to be together.”

“You’re ridiculous.” He huffs, folding his own arms across his chest. “Utterly ridiculous. Fix your conduct, next time, instead of trying to use that silver tongue of yours on me.”

Kyoko chuckles softly, brushing some hair out of her face. “But I thought you believed me to be using my silver tongue on Makoto?”

She feels her boyfriend lightly jab her in the ribs for that comment. She doesn’t care. The way Byakuya’s face lights up like a firecracker is too amusing for her to just shove away. The shock of the statement strikes him so badly that he actually has to turn away. Makoto will forgive her for it later.

“Naegi-kun, please inform me when Kirigiri-san departs. I have important matters to discuss with you.” Kyoko wants to laugh at how Byakuya won’t even direct his attention at her anymore. He is too busy looking as red as a tomato, shuffling around the papers he is carrying in her arms. If it were anyone else, Kyoko might have felt a bit sorry about this – but given his conduct as of late, it made for a bit of nice revenge. “Until then, I advise both of you – keep your clothes on.”

It is clear on Makoto’s face that he wants to protest the clothes comment, but Byakuya is spinning on his heel and rushing out the door before they know it. As he leaves, Kyoko contemplates calling after him a reminder to knock on the door next time, but decides against it. She’s probably gotten the poor man enough as it is. Instead, she turns her focus back to Makoto, who looks to be a cross between frustrated and sheepish.

“I can’t believe that just happened,” he mutters, his shoulders slumping, “You shouldn’t have antagonized him like that.”

Kyoko shrugs. “Ideally, I wouldn’t have had to, but you know he’s not above making a scene. You’ve only just become headmaster here… It wouldn’t do for you to be dismissed in your first few months for something that wasn’t your idea.”

Makoto weighs her words in his head, seeming to understand what she is driving at. Still, that sheepish look remains on his face, like he just can’t let everything about it go. “Still… we probably shouldn’t have been making out at work.”

“Not with the door unlocked, anyway.” She finds herself staring back at that door, hand to her chin as she loses herself in thought. “I could have sworn I locked it.”

He shrugs. “Maybe the lock’s broken?”

“Maybe… That won’t do, though.”

“Hm?” Makoto quirks a brow. “Why not?”

“Well…” she turns back to him, draping her arms over his shoulders and leaning in close. She brushes her nose against his, able to feel the heat radiating off him as she places herself in front of him. “I don’t think this will be the end of our little moments of stolen free time.”

Makoto gulps loudly. “B-But we just got caught…”

Kyoko smiles a devilish smile. They are still early on in their relationship, still so early on that they both struggle to think of things in a particular context, but… “Maybe that’s part of the thrill of it.”

She swears those words could have made Makoto faint.

#Happy Valentine’s Day y’all! Here’s a little fic treat from me.#danganronpa #makoto naegi #kyoko kirigiri #naegiri #kyouko kirigiri #danganronpa 3 hope arc #danganronpa 3 future arc #makoto x Kyoko #byakuya Togami

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rebeccathenaturalist · 9 months

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Happy 2024, y'all! It's a sunny day here on the SW Washington coast, and I'm off to a slow, sleepy start after managing to stay up until midnight in spite of myself. I hope you all are having a good start to the shiny new year.

I thought this would a good moment to reflect on the accomplishments of 2023, and look forward to what 2024 might hold.

Last year was, well, a lot of good stuff! Here are a few highlights:

--In addition to keeping my regular roster of online and in-person classes for various community colleges and libraries, I added a few new teaching venues. By far my favorite was the Sitka Center for Art and Ecology, where I had a marvelous time teaching my two-day Nature Identification for the Everyday Naturalist class amid an incredible coastal forest (they're bringing me back this year, too!). I also got to teach in my hometown in Missouri, with a mushroom foraging class at Rolla Public Library and a lichen walk at the Ozark Rivers Audubon Nature Center, both of whom I hope to work with again in the future. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention the series of classes I taught for Wildcraft Studio School in Portland--I'm looking forward to my next round of classes with them for 2024!

--I launched my guided nature tours business, offering ecologically-focused walks and hikes throughout the Pacific Northwest. This was very much a year of "throw things at the wall and see what sticks." Both scheduled hikes and private bookings were successful, though sometimes people thought I only did one or the other, so it was a bit of a challenge getting the word out that nope--I offer both! I'm hoping to expand the scheduled hikes to more locations, since I primarily offered them in the Long Beach, WA area, and I'm hoping to get some private bookings in places I haven't had a chance to explore yet. I do have to say I had a lot of fun taking people out onto some of my favorite trails, as well as some new places, exploring all the amazing flora, fauna, and fungi we met along the way. Here's to more excuses to get outside in 2024!

--With the help of my amazing agent, Jane Dystel of Dystel, Goderich & Bourret LLC, I landed a contract with Ten Speed Press (a division of Penguin Random House) for my book The Everyday Naturalist: How to Identify Animals, Plants, and Fungi Wherever You Go. This is an opportunity well beyond anything I had imagined, and I am super excited for the book to be released in Summer 2025. I've already gotten some excellent editorial feedback to help me make this book the best it can be, and I'm looking forward to this continued journey as I kick off the new year with a big writing session.

--I kept up on my quarterly chapbook schedule, producing four new chapbooks in 2023. It's a lot of work, but people really seem to enjoy them, and I relish the opportunity to dive deeper into topics than I can do in a single article. Speaking of articles, I didn't quite keep up with writing one weekly on my website, but I did alright. And I also kept up a good roster of articles in my Rainy Rambles column for the Coast Weekend paper.

And that's really what I'd love to see in 2024:

--More opportunities to teach and reach new audiences who are interested in learning more about nature identification, foraging, and other natural history topics. Since I do a lot of online teaching, I have plenty of options outside of my local area. And as I make my twice-a-year peregrinations to Missouri, I'm planning to do some teaching along the way.

--More tours, please! 2023 was a really great start, and I had such a great time that I just want to increase the number of days I'm out on the trails with folks. I need to do more promotion, especially outside the Columbia-Pacific region, and really work on getting the word out. Some of that will be online, but there will also be some time spent out in the world, too. It can be a very time-consuming thing, but here's to those efforts paying off.

--I already need to have the manuscript for The Everyday Naturalist turned in this April (I'm going to aim for getting it done early, but we'll see.) A lot of the process beyond that will be out of my hands, other than edits and feedback. Still, this will be another thing that I want to make more people aware of, so you can expect me to keep chatting about book stuff all year. And, of course, I'll keep those article sand chapbooks coming for those of you who can't wait for 2025 to read my work.

--I have some other projects behind the scenes that I'm planning--keep your eyes peeled here for updates! (Or you can join my monthly email newsletter here.)

Wishing you all an excellent 2024!

#The Everyday Naturalist #nature writing #nature #writing #2024 #happy new year

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moonsdancer · 2 years

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spec for ep 10

So, this BTS photo has me inordinately excited for how these three converge in ep 10.

*Spoilers ahead*

It’d be easy for the show to have Rose decide to turn back for Lissa because she senses the danger through the bond, and I wouldn’t mind it but we’ve already had plenty of examples of their bond in that sense, I don’t think doing so again in this instance would do much for character development. In fact we had it happen in episode 9, literally, with Rose being interrupted in the midst of writing a goodbye letter to Lissa and rushing off to save her. And episode 9 was an important turning point for Rose and Lissa, because we have Rose explicitly repudiating the idea that she makes choices purely in Lissa’s interests. She’s fighting to become her own person, reaching for a life beyond being the guardian she was bred to be from childhood. She wants more.

So from a basic writing perspective, whatever choices happen here are going to be a little more focused on developing Rose and Dimitri’s bond. And, well, given my priorities, I’m happy about that. We also desperately need a mirroring moment here to episode 5, Rose turning back from what she believes she wants - a life free from everything to do with the Dominion - to return to the one she needs, to protect him at all costs, even her own fantasy life. The same way Dimitri chose to disobey orders and his own vows to the saints in order to rush to save Rose; to turn away from the life he thought he wants for himself in order to protect the person he needs with every fibre of his being. And he’s been making that choice passively and actively over and over again since. In terms of romance, now would be a great moment to have Rose be placed in a position to also make that choice, which is the perfect set up for the progress of their romance arc and lays the foundation for some of the drastic choices she makes for Dimitri and her love for him in the future.

I’m wondering if Mason comes clean or if Rose’s instincts prompt her to turn back or if they put together some dots and realise there’s an invasion happening and rush back to protect their friends and found family.

We know Janine’s been investigating the attack on St Jude’s and the evolutionary developments in strigoi modes of attack and general existence so I love that she’ll be showing up again in the midst of the attack -- hopefully they don’t kill her off, I need more of her and Rose in season 2, if we get one. If Rose doesn’t get back to Dimitri in time, then Janine’s maybe the only other person I can imagine who could get him out of the cell. So am I going to get some fun future in-law hijinks? Are we going to get all three fighting together?? Really hoping they don’t kill Janine off though.

#rose hathaway #dimitri belikov #janine hathaway #romitri #vampire academy

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popculturebuffet · 2 years

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Top 27 Weird Al Songs

Hello all you happy weirdos and I hope you have your bologona, your mediums sized root beer with free refills and your twinkie weiner sandwitches ready because this post is going to be long. It's also a break from format: I usually review movies, tv shows, comics. In fact I reviewed Weird Al's first movie UHF earlier this year. It was awesome. I usually don't dip into music itself but with the momentous arrival of Weird Al's wonderfully insane parody of biopics Weird: The Al Yankovic Story, I just had to do something for the occasion. And while Al's done ton of voice work so I had plenty of options from the beautifully meta choice to cast him as Wreck-Gar in transformers animated, to his ponytastic turn as Pinky Pie's future husband Cheese Sandwitch whose basically Weird Al but younger and a horse, and of course his starring roll in the criminally short lived Milo Murphy's law among MANY others I intend to cover at some point. (especially since I just realized while writing this next year is his 40th anniversary) , I decided to focus on the man himself.

Weird Al is one of my faviorite musicians and I say that without a tinge of irony and with all the pride I can muster in my spleen: Weird Al has lasted this long for damn good reason, being able to deftly copy the sounds of a day and parody or homage them with expert skill, while also able to make his own unique compositions from stylistic parodies to just plain original ten minute epics and fun polka mashups of the last few years of music. He's also one of the genuinely sweetest and nicest guys in the music buisness: he's kind, respectful of the artists he parodies (asking permission after the whole Coolio thing but their Coolio now so it's Coolio), and just one of the coolest dudes around. He's done everything with 14 albums, countless singles for other projects, 2 films, 2 tv series (he didn't write milo but he did STAR in it and was in almost every episode so I count it), voice work and more. He's my hero is what i'm saying so join me under the cut for this ill advized self indulgent mega list honoring the man's career

A few things off the bat: This list is my opinon. I shoudln't have to say that but it's the internet equilvent of that warning thing from the start of Jackass: no one whose going to get frothingly upset at this list is going to listen to it but I have to put it in there. These are the songs I consider the best of the best. This also means some cuts got made, and as such two albums aren't represented here: His self Titled Debut and Even Worse. BOth aren't bad albums and it killed me to have to cut "Such a Groovy Guy and "I Think I"m a Clone Now" respectively, but even with 27 slots this was a VERY hard list. So with that said

27. Like a Surgeon (Dare to Be Stupid)

Starting us off we have one of the classics. This one's simple, silly and hilariously dark as our narrating character is apparently so horrible at his job a lot of people have implicitly died. It's a shock Dr. Nick hasn't recrecorded this with his good friend mr. mccraig

26. Cavity Search (Bad Hair Day) Bad Hair Day is one of Al's best albums, a nice bit of mid 90's greatness and the start of the growth that would lead to his monumental later albums. It's the most represented on this list with FOUR songs, the most of any (though many have three so don't worry), and each one deserved. This one made me check out the original song and while a mostly goofy little bit about dentistry parodying U2's Batman Forever theme.... a sentence that reminds me why I do this job, somehow, it's still solid with Al nicely mimicking Bono.... though how he surivived the amount of smug he'd have to injest to do that is beyond me. 25. Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Near Mars (UHF) UHF was a great film and naturally had a great if very loose soundtrack. Only three songs actually show up in the movie: the title track, "Let Me Be Your Hog", and "Money For Nothin (Beverly Hillbillies) and a few sound clips. That didn't stop the album from being as good as the film though and this song is proof.

This song is classic al sillyness, being all in the title which we hear plenty. It's every bit as glorious and stupid as it sounds, in particular them coming in ships "shaped just like cuban cigars". Sure they destroyed the world and are are going to turn us all to goop but you have to admit their pretty cute. The guitar for this flim is impressive. It's a 50's b-movie al style and I badly hope he makes it into a real one some day. Speaking of which...

24. Nature Trail to Hell in 3-D (In 3D) In 3D was Al's breakout album and for good reason: while he'd make far better albums as his career went on, In 3D is where he starts to have the polish we've come to know after the rough but charming first album. It only has one entry on this list but said entry is a doozy. I already loved Nature Trail to Hell when I first heard it but becoming a horror fan makes me love it all the more as Al lovingly spoofs the 80's slasher boom with a fake trailer, with Al talking about all the gory things that are going to happen in such an over the top way you can't help but burst a spleen laughing, and the angelic chorus of NATURE TRAIL TO HELL IN 3D! just clinches it for me. Another one that really could be a film. Given the reception Weird's getting it's not out of the question.

23. Handy (Mandatory Fun)

Mandatory Fun was sadly Al's last studio album, with Al moving onto singles. We did get a soundtrack Album for Weird, but from the looks of it it's mostly the score, a few updated versions of old classics for Daniel Radcliff to lipsynch to. I can't blame him, the album format simply dosen't work as well for Parody these days and he's clearly found other stuff to do, but I do miss getting a guaranteed bit of al weirdness every three years and only got to enjoy an album coming out twice. Thankfully Mandatory Fun is a great note to go out on and showed he still got it. Case in point we've all long since forgotten Iggy Izalea.. but his parody of her breakout and only hit "Fancy", Handy, is still a banger, with Al having terrific flow and a wonderfully stupid premise of rapping about plumming. The speed he ratttles things off at sometimes is insane.. though FAR from the fastest he'll rattle off about handy man stuff. We'll get to that.

22. UHF (Straight Out of Lynwood UHF)

UHF was a film that deserved a catchy theme and damn if it didn't get it. It's a simple "watch the station" type anthem that dosen't make complete sense as that's not the stations name, but dosen't have to as it's well done, hilarous, original and will NEVER leave your head. Belivie me i've had 20 doctors try.

21. Amish Paradise (Bad Hair Day) I might get some flak for this one. Not for putting it on the list, but for putting it so low. While I feel there's 20 songs better than this one it dosen't make Amish Paradise any less awesome. Taking a serious rap number about gang violence and a good song in it's own right and making it into an Amish Brag Rap that lightly pokes fun at the Amish while not really bashing them takes the kind of mad genius Al is to put together. His suprisingly impressive flow at rap also shows again during the section at the end "Raised a bar on sunday, then i'll raise another!'. IT's once again Al taking an utterly stupid idea and not only making it work but making it a stone cold classic.

20. Do I Creep You Out? (Straight Outta Lynwood) And not one entry later i'm going to say something that's going to annoy a LOT of you: White and Nerdy isn't on this list. It's excellent and al once again shows off his impressive flow and ablitlty to talk let alone rap at a speed few can match, but ultimately I just found other songs were better. That said it's album, Straight Outta Lynwood is well represented here and is one of Al's best if not THE best. Relistneting to it for this album I forgot just how solid it is and how many classics it has. This one I admit is partly for personal reasons: see the song being parodied, the THANKFULLY forgotten "Do I Make You Proud?" was EVERYWHERE and played CONSTANTLY on radio stations, at weddings, funerals, public bathrooms. You could not escape this incredibly schmaltzy, incredibly stupid song. It was long, droning and it was terrible. So it's no shock that not only did Al do it better, but made it hilarious. Do I Creep You Out? isn't Al's first stalker song, the other being Melanie, but this one is less creepy by being more over the top. The stuff the narrator does is IMMENSELY creepy, but the shchmaltzy tone makes it still work today despite stalking being taken as seriously as it should and to Al's credit it's clear he takes the creepy shit his character is doing seriously... he just makes it funny by putting it in the context of a schmaltzy love ballad. It's what he does.

Oh and if your wondering about the image Al did the video with Jib Jab, who you also rightfully forgot and who i'm not bothering to research as the quality for the video is low, but it still works for the image of Al dressed as Aaron Hicks.

19. Foil (Mandatory Fun) Another great song from the final stretch for Al, Foil works entirely thanks to it's bait and switch. The first half is about foil, seeming to be another of Al's food based parodies.. until he starts rattling off about conspiracies. The abrupt shift combined with the contrast with the nice light tones borrowed from Royals makes this a modern classic. The video dosen't hurt either, with Al going nuts on air, Patton Oswalt playing a lizard man and catchy backup singers. Good stuff.

18. Captain Underpants Theme (Captain Underpants: The Epic First Movie Soundtrack) The only song not from one of Al's Al-Bums on the list is this banger of a theme song for a mediocre film based on a classic book series. Given Al was brought up in the first book, it's only fitting George and Harold's patron saint did the theme song. Naturally Al tackles it with all his enthusiasm and ham, perfectly matching the property. Summing it up as a "freaky bald dude in his underwear" is fitting. It's cheesy, it's smooth as hell, and it's perfect. It's a shame the cartoon that followed didn't use this awesome as hell theme and hopefully if there's ever another film they don't repeat the same mistake.

17. Ringtone (Alpocalypse)

Alpocalypse was the first Al-Bum I got to listen to after it came out and it was a great one to start on, with tons of all timers, parodies of stuff I knew at the time, and general fun. The cover of Al as a horseman of the apocalypse just clinches it. Ringtone was always going to be a faviorite of mine as it parodies one of my faviorite bands: Queen gets the Al treatment for the third time, but unlike his previous parody and tribute, this one just uses the style to create the tale of a man who picked a really rotten ringtone. Al once again talks really fast and it works, and combined with his deft and smooth as hell Piano work makes for a breezy, rediculous rock opera sounding track.

16. I"ll Sue Ya (Straight out of Lynnwood) I don't really know Rage Against the Machine well, but I absolutely Love al's parody which itakes angry white boy rock and puts it to frivolous lawsuits. if that sentence dosen't make you laugh I question how you got this far itno the article. The increasingly stupid lawsuits (my faviorite being "I swallowed a nerf ball and nearly choked to death), combined with the angry tone just make this majestic to hear.

15. Living With a Hernia (Polka Party) Living in America was an instant classic, as was it's rediuclous and entirley out of left field performance during Rocky IV. So having already parodied Rocky himself, the song was a great fit. Once again it's al taking a direction in making fun of the song you wouldn't think, using Brown's deep voice and cries as signs of a medical condition. Making this joyous song about Hernias was a bold strategy but it paid out. What really sells this one for me is that Al does one hell of a james brown, perfectly capturing the legendary singers shouty voice. The best Al Parodies are where he really sounds like the artist (while still having his own distinct voice as part of it) and this is one of his finest examples.

14. Party in the Cia (Alpocalypse)

Another one that shows the simple formula al uses: Take a popular song, find something totally batshit that contrasts with the beat. The fact he uses this formula a LOT but it hasn't gotten that old speaks to his creatvity and borderline insanity: anyone could parody Party in the USA, it was everywhere, Miley Cirus was an easy target at the time, and it was annoying. But making it about the CIA and having cheerful lyrics about "tourturing the folks we don't like" and "hand me that microfilm buddy will you, i'd tell you why but i'd have to kill you. Al just has this weird brand of humor that's unique, can get suprisingly dark but is also fairly wholesome. He'll sing about waterboarding sure but in a goofy cheerful way that makes it go down easy. He did the same with the end of all of humanity. It's just who he is and why I loves him so much.

13. eBay (Poodle Hat)

Another easy target as Ebay had become a big deal by 2003 and the Backstreet Boys had just finished being one (As a young me can attest). Ebay comes from Poodle Hat, easily one of Al's most underated albums. It probably dosen't help Eminem blocked the album because he didn't like Couch Potato making fun of me. While I do like some of Em's music come on man.... you dressed up like robin the year before this. Which was objectively funny (and I say that as a fan of all 5 of them)

But you can't wear this and then get mad when someone pokes fun at you for something different. He didn't block the parody but like.. blocking the video didn't do good for the album and is still one of the few dick moves i've seen directed Al's way.

Anyways Ebay is great, perfectly summing up how it feels to shop ebay and spoofing joes like me who buy "useless crap" off there all the time. We salute you for giving us a theme al. Granted I have no real desire for a Dukes of Hazzard Ash Tray but given in the past few months i've bought several books, a deck of yugioh cards, and more I'm not exactly that much higher up.

12. Waffle King (Alapalooza) Alapalooza has a great cover, name and Freddy Mercury Tribute Polka.. and not much else. It very narrowly made the cut, as it'sone of al's weaker albums.. but it did manage to give us one glorious banger. In the style of Peter Gabriel, Al embodies a weirdo who fines the perfect waffle recipie and then goes mad with power as everyone marvels over it and bows to the waffle king. Al really gets to ham it up here and the fun chords and wonderful chorus really sell this one. Plus as the late great Richard Thompson once said Waffles are just comedic gold and given Weird Al was able to make an entire song about it without coming off obnoxious, he was right god rest him.

11. Everything You Know Is Wrong (Bad Hair Day) A simple one: this one's just Al getting every bit as weird as he can while breaking reality over his knee to a catchy upbeat tune. If this dose'nt sum up his whole career I don't know what does.

10. Smells Like Nirvana (Off the Deep End) Off the Deep End came while Al was in a bit of a slump. As detailed in his autobiography, Al was having a bit of trouble getting his mojo back and was desperate for a number one to go with his latest album. After being gently rebuffed by Micheal Jackson, who didn't want to ruin the message of his song black or white (especailly when he could do it just dandy himself), Al thankfully caught a break that revivied his spark when he heard one of the defining songs of the ninties.. and coudln't make a single word out.

Smells Like Nirvana is more about how Kurt Cobain was not the easiest speaker to understand, something we all can relate to. From talking about "Marbles in his mouth" to making a few jabs at the band themselves, the song is a faviorite of us weird al fans for a reason, and the video only helps. Putting Al in a Kurt Cobain outfit was never not going to be pure comedy gold. Add in weird sound effects and Al perfectly matching the beat and tone of the original despite not remotely using Cobain's mumbly and you have a classic that the late great mr. cobain himself UTTERLY loved and rightfully felt was his we made it moment.

9. The Saga Begins (Running With Scissors) Another one and done album, I still love Running with Scissors (Jerry Springer ONLY didn't make it because some of the outdated language used to imitate Jerry can be hard to listen to), and it still got in with one of Al's crowning achievments. It would be enough to set the plot of the Phantom Menace to American Pie, turning one of the worst movies ever and one of the longest most boring songs ever (don't @ me, it's way too damn long and should know it), into one of Al's best. Like most Al Stuff something that probably shouldn't work works perfectly. The chorus of "My my this here anikin guy maybe vader someday later but he's just a small fry" works so well. It somehow tops his already brilliant parody of Lola , Yoda. (which BARELY didn't make the list)

What's most impressive though is HOW the song came about: through what he could dig up through fansites and only went to the pre screening. And George Lucas , famously not someone to listen to critics... smiled and loved it while Al himself cheered as "i'm going to be a jedi" happened to be a line in the film. PUtting in this much work to perfectly get a song down about a movie before it actually HAPPENED and getting it right is just one of manyr easons this man fucking rocks.

8. This is The Life (Dare To Be Stupid)

Dare To Be Stupid had more to offer than just the title track and while I already shared one great song from it earlier, it still has two more in the tank. And while you can probably guess the next one This is The Life is a criminally underated song, the tale of a smug man bragging about how rich he is. Al's fast upbeat tone, the fun lyrics and just general goofiness make this one of my faviorites and always a joy to listen to while mocking the hell out of the one percent.. which Al probably is at this point but that's okay man we love ya anyway.

7. Dog Eat Dog (Polka Party Polka Party is a decent Al-Bum, but it's easy standout is this stylistic parody of one of my faviorite bands: The Talking Heads. Like my hatred of "Do I Make You Proud?", i'm not hiding my bias here: while I always liked this song even before being a Talking Heads Head, just how spot on it is and how Al somehow mimicks Dave Byrne's hammy yet entirely calm style of singing. Even for him mimicking Byrne is an Achivement

Dog Eat Dog, while hilariously spoofing office life, really feels like a lost Talking Heads song. Singing about how much you love the office and jelly donuts and need your liquid paper, where's your liquid paper sounds exactly like something David Byrne would do and thus it's only inches into parody.. but in a way that works. David Byrne would do this and that's why it's so damn funny.

6. I Was Only Kidding (Off the Deep End)

Off the Deep End was pretty great, but it's triumph was not mocking Nirvana (though it was still awesome), but an original number by Al where one supreme dick tells his girlfriend his deep declrations of love were one joke. The sheer manic Al's character takes in this incredibly cruel act combined with the implication he gets shot for his bullshit makes this great enough.. but once again adding in a choir elevates an al song from good to

5. The Night Santa Went Crazy (Bad Hair Day) Bad Hair Day ends it's reign on this list with a classic. Do I really have to explain why this one is so fun? Dark? yes. Violent? Yes. Utterly hilarious yes. While Santa is evil is an easy take and santa going serial killer has been the subject of several films jollily tlaking about how he murders everyone in sight and his wife's selling the movie rights just works for me. It's right up there with other christmas classics for me.

4. Dare To Be Stupid (.... guess) A supreme ode to idiocy with a catchy beat, nice squeaky and hammy vocals alternating when needing, and a manic pace that never lets up it's no wonder that this is one of the best tracks in the already all timer Transformers the Movie Soundtrack and still went on to headline it's own album. IT's fast paced, non stop hilarious, and throughly stupid. It's the best. Well not really we have three more to go but it's one of them.

3. Genius in France (Poodle Hat

Al wrote a few epics in his later career, Starting with Albequrque (which isn't on the list, dont' throw things please and thank you) But while all four are great, again please don't throw things, I gave it to my faviorite. Al has managed to make one joke premises into 80 joke songs, it's most of this list in fact but making a 13 minute epic with switching song types about french sterotypes and idiocy jokes that never lets up and I can never not nlisten to the whole thing. That's a true genius, even if it likely wasn't recorded in france. Every time I get bored, the song switches up to keep my attention, and comes up with some new and clever way to make fun of the singers intellgence or french sterotypes. It never stops. If you listen closely you'll still hear it playing on the ends. A true masterpiece that al rightfully still plays in concert that I don't feel nearly gets the love it deserves.

2. Close But No Cigar (Straight Outta Lynwood)

Yet another style parody of a band I like. What a shocker. I don't have the devotion to Cake I do to Queen or The Talking Heads, but their still neat and Al for the 90th time this list perfectly apes their style. It's stuff we've seen if good stuff

What elevates this one is the subject, being about a guy who keeps seeming to find his dream girl only to get hung up on some very stupid flaw like using infer instead of imply or one earlobe being too big. TH ebuild up to WHAT he's going to have his problem, the kicking chorus nad the cool as hell breakdown all make this one that's close to number one.. but no cigar. Also yes the video is good if sadly made by a pedophile.

Hardware Store (Poodle Hat)

Number one goes to a true classic. one every al fan knows by heart.. well at least up to the part where he fucking explodes, rattling off about 80 diffrent objects in the span of two minutes to the point even HE can't do it live. Before that it's the simple but charming tale of a guy whose excited his town's getting a hardware store. The dorky midwest charm of just being excited something new is opening is something I relate to and this song captures that beautifully. Granted i'm not a tool guy but whatever you like you can relate to seeing "all this stuff " and rattling off a list in your head, and the sheer joy, infectious chorus and of course that fucking bridge make this number one eaisly. It's goofy, it's simple yet complex.. it's weird al. The once and future polka king. Thanks for reading, you can find this whole list on spotify HERE

#Weird Al Yankovic #weird the al yankovic story #music #parody #comedy #hardware store

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thequietmanno1 · 1 year

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TheLreads, Vigilantes ch 88, Replies Part 2

1) “Yeah Rappa, we have to preserve the time-space continuum, Knuckles needs to lose a few braincells, and some of restraint, if we want to prevent this timeline from collapsing into a paradox.”- Losing his Quirk helped, but Ironically, I think this chapter implies that Rappa’s talk with him here was motivating Knuckles even during his depressed slump, getting him to go out and seek out a fight to find something worthwhile to do with his time, rather than in actual hopes of finding a lead on the Villain factory.

2) “Don’t worry Rappa, there’s plenty of stupid in his future, rest assured.

It all condensed into a guy-shaped idiot who succeeded him.

Heard he was calling himself O'Clock 2 or some shit like that “- Hey now, let’s not be too rash here. Koichi picked up plenty of dumb habits of his own from Knuckles’ tutelage.

3) “Knuckles please you weren’t made to play the straightman

but by god am I enjoying seeing you and Rappa bouncing from each other, I wanted a whole series of this “- In another timeline, perhaps. Maybe if Knuckles’ Quirk hadn’t been stolen, he could have had a hero agency of his own with rappa and Miruko underneath him, complimenting their rash fighting skills with his brains and innate desire for dumb violence.

4) “I can’t lie I am absolutely loving seeing more of rappa and the more I think back, the more I can actually see his personality on the way Knuckles behaved

Hell, even the fucking grin that knuckles always had when he started to have fun was probably Rappa’s influence.”- Rappa’s even doing Knuckle’s signature little clenched fist pose here, showing the influence he had on him. It could be said that Knuckles is intentionally basing his street janitor role on Rappa now that Knuckles has nothing else left for him but dumb mindless fighting

5) “YEAH QUICK REMINDER THAT MIRKO IS CURRENTLY A STUDENT

A STUDENT OF A HERO COURSE

AND SHE’S HERE ON A ILLEGAL FIGHTING RING, WHICH APPARENTLY ISN’T HER FIRST RODEO

HOW DID SHE NEVER GOT CAUGHT IS BEYOND ME, IT’S NOT LIKE SHE DOESN’T HAVE A RATHER NOTICEABLE QUIRK”- The perks of having showmanship and a good PR team, neither of which were available for Gentle back before he met La Brava.

6) “…

Yeah, you lost me there Mirko

Are you supposed to be a luchador or…?”- Based on a famous recurring one that shows up in various forms across numerous anime/manga, yeah.

7) “WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

WAS THAT

SHE ALREADY GOT CAUGHT

SHE GOT CAUGHT BY THE POLICE AND SHE STILL IS STUDYING TO BE A HERO?

SHE DID ALL THAT AND SHE STILL GOT TO BE A PRO HERO???

HUHHH????? “- She even kicked Ryu’s ass, which is Ironic, as from the sounds of it, she was basically doing the same thing as World Tour in street fighter 6, running around and finding masters to fight against.

8) “am i having a fucking stroke here

SHE EVEN GOT EXPELLED FROM A HERO COURSE”- Middle school actually. She’s presumably on her first hero Course, and is likely the ace of her school, so even if this incident reached their ears, the prestige of having such a future top-class hero graduating from them might have made them reconsider punishing her, given her obvious potential.

9) “Knowing her, she probably meant everyone there at the same time, she can handle you losers without much trouble”- Miruko’s here for blood, and she’s not picky who from.

10) “Yeah see what I meant?

Also I want to see that rulebook, because I doubt that there’s something written there against it. The show must go on, and is there a better show than the absolute massacre that mirko wants to unleash?”- The rulebook is incredibly thick, but filled with blank pages. Whenever somebody asks to see it, they get hit over the head with it instead.

11) “OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF THE MEMBERS OF THE HORNY BRIGADE GOT A CAMEO ON THE MANGA, Y'ALL REALLY ARE EVERYWHERE”- I mean, Miruko does have enough animal traits to appeal to the furry fandom…

12) “but the scene of Rappa annoying Knuckles and Mirko being scolded by the fighters were both gold, and tipped the balance into the positive end. Damn you Furuhashi, now I need to say this was a great chapter just because of how good those scenes were”- Tons of AU material to be found from this arc, I believe. The adventures of the O’Clock agency would have been amazing to see, had they actually occurred

@thelreads

#my hero academia #bnha #chapter replies #thelreads #bnha vigilantes #vigilantes 88

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soopscoop · 1 year

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life adventures log 5

june 27, 2023

haiii!!!!! :3

you are currently in a silly and goofy mood because you just woke up from a nap and now you’re super hyper. you were messing around in the bathroom and had the sudden urge to write. its been a bit!

its been 2 months of summer so far. you’ve been keeping busy by doing commissions, playing video games, hanging out with friends, and surprisingly, working! its been a very busy summer, but it somehow feels more fun than the previous. yesterday you began your summer class, so hopefully the fun wont be drowned out by work.

you absolutely adore your friends. truly the dearest things to you right now. you never fail to have a great laugh with them whenever they’re around! please continue to always be there for them and let them know that you can talk to them about anything at all :)

in about a month, your friend’s debut is going to be held. you are beyond excited. you’re dancing in beautiful gowns and suits with all of your closest friends and the practices are giving you plenty of time together. you worry for her. she’s so sweet, the world might eat her up. you pray for her.

you miss college. although you will be away from your friends here at home, you cant help but miss how life was as an independent (kinda). next semester you will aim to not be at home as often, as to live a more independent life (mom thinks its because you will be busier). you want to see if you can really do it (you want to show how capable you are!!).

you can really tell that you and everyone around you is getting older. your parents are aging, your grandparents are getting frailer, your friends are being as independent as you are. its a bit jarring. but its exciting none the less. the future seems bright!

you feel very naive. beginning work makes you feel not as capable as other people. its very jarring to be a newbie at something again, and working at an ice cream shop is making that feeling very apparent. its like, you know you can do something, but you still haven’t gotten to the point where you’ve gained enough experience to meet not only everyone’s expectations, but your own. your coworker said the training was garbage anyways so maybe you aren’t as incapable as you think lol.

you hate feeling incapable. a friend went into heat stroke and it just tore at your heart to not know what to do. the ice cream job makes you feel like an idiot all the time. being at home with your grandmother makes you practically go insane because she still treats you like you’re 5. you are naive! guys, let her live in her delusion in peace!

you like doing things at your own pace. if only life went as slow as you liked going then things would be alright. thats clearly not how it works haha

its june. for a couple of months you’ve been considering things. putting your life into perspective, some may say. like, no cis girl would ever say “god intended me to be a boy before he put me on this earth.” like wow you never really thought it about that way until a little recently, but its been this way for awhile hasn’t it. genderfluid? perhaps? and you dont think you’re bi, not like how you’ve said in the past. every time you think back to that one time you told your roommates that you were questioning about being bi you cringe. thats like. no. it was a little embarrassing and pretty wrong. maybe. idk man. about a year ago you watched the jaiden animaitons aroace video and that definitely resonated with you then, but then suddenly men became so hot..? hormones? insanity? both? maybe you’ll understand when you’re older.

you’ve said to a friend “i think i like men in a... gay way?” they didn’t understand, and honestly, neither do you LMAO. there’s definitely something fruity about you, thats for sure.

you hope you can become someone to love. someone better than the present you. you dont mind being by yourself, and you feel content with the people in your life as of now, but you wouldn’t mind having someone to hold, yknow? anyone? or maybe i should make moves? you feel like you would be such a good partner. thats probably a lie.

you are a feminist. there have been little things happening around you that just set you the wrong way lately. you remember that women have a place in the world and its never been completely fair. its something you just kinda.. deal with? but you know for sure that there are plenty of men that you sit high above on your beautiful and sexy throne. go babes go.

you’ve been feeling better about your body. its getting smaller. you cant help but think if its just terrible beauty standards or your own personal goal. its both probably. keep it up to at the very least be healthy! take care of yourself please!

as of now, life is good. if only it went a little slower.

songs:

cyanide - daniel caesar

smithereens - twenty one pilots

with all the love and appreciation,

past you

p.s. you want these to be seen when you die. a little bit of a tonal change but like, yeah. you want people to know who you are. you want to be seen. you’ll probably write down the log in info in your phone or something. idk!

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plutothe-pup · 1 year

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIP!!! @exsqueak-me

Given to Pip when he got home on Friday (before the party started) was a card containing a Ruff to Fluff certificate & a Chippa's certificate - as well as a giftbox containing a few nice shirts that Milo thinks Pip would really rock (and since Pip has basically approved his fashion sense, he feels confident he can shop for him!).

Long after all the festivities have died down - and maybe even the next day, Pip might find a locked box sitting in his room at home. He'll be able to open it if he kept that strange key from one of the first gifts (and...truly Milo has a spare, but he'll pretend to get huffy with Pip for losing it if he needs to request said spare)

Inside the box is a folded handwritten note on top, these pocket-hug tokens (because he can't hug you and this isn't the same but maybe it's something), a worry stone, a custom sweater with Booboo on it and a single sunset-orange wooden rose. Taped to the very bottom of the box is an envelope with another contribution to the Pip NYU Fund. He's nothing but persistent! He hasn't been working three jobs for nothing!! (Unfortunately he's knows it is merely nothing compared to that steep tuition but... he likes to believe every bit helps).

The note reads:

Dear Pip,

Happy Birthday!! You've found your final Pipril Birthday box! I hope you've been having an incredible birthmonth filled with lots of fun and surprises! Even though you are old and senile (...roll out the walkers, you're going to throw out a hip any moment), there's still plenty of time for you to party like no one's watching!!

(and... lets be real, that's absolutely what you've probably been doing tonight. Past-Milo will be shocked if Future-Milo doesn't witness the world's most epic Karaoke Sesh)

Above all though - I hope that you are happy. Truly and sincerely. I was going to say that happiness isn't something I can gift - but quite frankly you've shown me that isn't the case. Perhaps not something physical that can be wrapped, but something that can certainly be shared. So I can only hope that you've been gifted so much happiness tonight, during April and beyond. You deserve that after everything.

I know things haven't always been the best, but I'm not kidding when I say you've handled it with a grace and maturity I don't think I could even imagine (yes, even at your so-called 'lowests). And you know, as Pluto, that I'm serious when I say that.

In all honesty, I'm going to spill my guts here a little - mostly because it's all stuff I want you to know, but I know I wouldn't have the actual words to say. Or I wouldn't know how to say it. Truly, I don't know a whole lot overall, especially when it comes to... how to act or planning futures or anything like that but - you've shown me so much and I'm always excited to learn from you. You inspire me for everything (and I know you probably just rolled your eyes but it's true. I look up to you!) When Pipril started I said that if I tried to list off all of the good things about you, we'd be here for years, and I stand by that. You, Pip Seville, are truly one of a kind in the best way possible. And I'm lucky to be able to know you. You saved me in more ways than one, obviously. So thank you for being the best family I've ever had - genuinely. I don't think I knew what it meant to have a family that was so full of love and real genuine kindness until I met you. I'm forever grateful for all of the warmth, love and knowledge that you've shared with me. I've never had friends before. But thanks to you, I do. Not just friends but best friends. Family.

And I know I can't do much to repay that - but I was hoping that with Pipril, I could at least try to show you how much you mean not only to me, but to this world as a whole. You are a shining Star Pip. I just hope you see that too.

Happy Birthday hyung. Love you, Milo

#c: Pip #x; Piplo #x; Pipril

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thenightshift-if · 3 years

Photo

When you accepted the job your friend offered you, you didn’t expect “deliver a trayful of blood-filled wine glasses to Room 4” among your duties… but here you are, and it’s nowhere near the weirdest thing you’ve done.

The Night Shift is a work-in-progress interactive fiction game following the unexpected and comedic adventures of you, a completely ordinary receptionist working the night shift at a hotel for… vampires. Get to know the staff of Casa Serena, keep your immortal guests happy, enjoy the sunny days and the romantic nights of the Spanish countryside, get up to all sorts of mischief – and remember to take some time off to lounge by the pool! The game explores themes of immortality, healing, belonging, and found family. Though some heavy topics may be discussed by the characters, the game’s overall mood will be light-hearted and hopeful.

Demo: TBA

Customisable main character - choose your name, gender, pronouns, appearance, personality, and more!

Discover what vampires really get up to on summer nights

Find a fun summer romance, if you’re into that sort of thing… or something more lasting?

Form friendships that last a lifetime and beyond

Shape the hotel’s future!

Character introductions and more information under the cut!

Haru – appears to be in late 20s – selectable nonbinary / female / male

Your enigmatic online friend. They got you the job at Casa Serena but failed to mention the whole vampire thing… An incorrigible flirt with way too much money and too little impulse control. They’re never not in trouble. [Intro post] [Character tag]

Kide – appears to be in mid-20s – nonbinary (they/them)

The moody travel critic dressed in all black. They’re notorious for being difficult to please and impossible to impress. In spite of their apparent dislike for everything, they mingle a lot… and it seems like every time you turn around, they’re just always there. [Intro post] [Character tag]

Gabriel – appears to be in early 30s – male (he/him)

The charming hotel manager with the kindest smile you’ve seen. His genuine care for his guests and staff shows in everything he does. He’s always got a dad joke in his back pocket to make you laugh, but he’s also curiously reserved and at times almost melancholic… [Intro post] [Character tag]

Ramona – appears to be in early to mid-20s – female (she/her)

The quick-tempered always-on-the-go IT manager, security officer, and housekeeping manager. You’d think she had her hands full with everything she does around the hotel, but somehow she finds plenty of time to just chill and chat with everyone. It seems a bit strange that a social butterfly like her would prefer to do most of her work behind the scenes… [Intro post] [Character tag]

Each main character has a solo romance route, and there is also a poly romance available with two of them as well as a matchmaking element. The game includes possible flings with side characters that may be one-night-stands or friends-with-benefits type of arrangements. Please see [this post] for more information on the romance routes!

Content warnings

The game is rated 18+ for optional sexual content. This story contains references to and non-graphic descriptions of blood, death, murder, emotional and physical abuse, trauma, war, and alcohol and drug use. Some of these references and descriptions are plot-essential and others something that may only come up in some playthroughs depending on the player’s choices. All sensitive themes will be handled respectfully and without glorification. The game also contains strong language. The content warnings will be updated if they change at any point.

Updates

Last updated: 21/03/22. Made some small edits to the masterpost. 17/03/22. Published the masterpost. Demo: TBA.

#twine game #if wip #if #interactive fiction #thenightshift #dont mind me i just wanted to make a masterpost that i can pin on the blog #but feel free to share it if you want to!

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riversofmars · 2 years

Text

Songs Of Love - Day 19

Prompt: "River invited us to..."

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Liv is not best pleased when she finds out the place River had invited them to is a strip club. She is also not best pleased to find Helen enjoying the show rather a lot more than she would have wanted her to. Come intermission, as her jealousy is mounting, she will have to do something about that.

Indecent Invitation

“Why did we agree to this?” Liv hugged her arms around herself, trying to sooth her nerves and make herself feel more comfortable. It wasn’t working. She felt all eyes on them as they slowly made their way through the crowded bar area. She was imagining it, people were more interested in their drinks or conversations to take notice of them, but the med-tech’s self-consciousness won out.

“Because it will be fun,” Helen offered, walking by her side, and while she didn’t look entirely confident, she held up better than Liv. It was ironic, really, the med-tech considered, that the woman from the 1960s, who had had to deal with misogyny and oppression, was more comfortable in a strip club than she, someone from the far future who had no qualms about sexuality and had enjoyed every freedom. Helen was looking around, scanning the crowd when Liv looked back to see where the Doctor had got to. How long did it take to drop off their coats?

“Fun?” She scoffed. “Yeah, I know River’s idea of fun alright.” She faced forward again, joining Helen in their search for the person that had kindly invited them. “That’s just-” She spotted a raised stage up ahead, complete with poles and flashy lights. There were numerous tables set out around the club, almost like a theatre.

“Well, I can’t say I’ve ever… you know… it’ll be an education!” Helen drew her from her thoughts, seemingly trying her best to sound upbeat.

“Yeah, you know, a lot of these girls probably are working here to get one of those, forced to-” Liv grumbled but a familiar voice interrupted her:

“That’s a nasty stereotype and I would have expected better of you, Miss Chenka,” River scolded, and Liv and Helen whirled around to find the time-travelling archaeologist standing behind them with a wide smile across her face. “You know, people enjoy this line of work! There is an artistry to it at this level, this is no exploitative, run-down joint in the back-end of beyond,” she carried on firmly.

“Yeah, well, I’ve seen plenty of those back in the Frontier Colonies and-” Liv felt herself blushing with embarrassment at being called out like that. She struggled for a justification but before she could consider her own words, Helen interrupted her curiously:

“You have?” She asked, eyes wide with surprise. “What have you been doing there?”

“I- uh-” The med-tech stuttered, blushing more deeply, and River grinned from ear to ear.

“Busted, Miss Chenka,” she hummed with a knowing smirk. “Now, shall we find a seat?” She offered her arm to Helen who took it seemingly without thinking twice about it.

“Where has the Doctor got to?” Liv asked, hoping to interrupt them wandering off, as she felt a wave of familiar jealousy come over her. The kind she always felt when River flirted with Helen, which seemed to be every time all three of them were together. The last time they had met she had literally stated that she would enjoy kissing both of them and that was something the med-tech wouldn’t forget in a hurry. She had no interest in making out with the professor, regardless of how objectively attractive she was, but she couldn’t speak for Helen. It was impossible to tell and it was eating at her.

“Getting drinks with little umbrellas in, according to him,” River answered, giving a dismissive wave with her free hand as she led the way across the room.

“Of course,” Helen chuckled. “That man really likes a little umbrella.”

“You’re going to make him forget all this, aren’t you,” Liv quickened her step to walk alongside them, rather than behind.

“Oh yes,” River confirmed with a smirk. “Means we can have all the fun and none of the consequences.”

“That does sound like fun,” Helen laughed and Liv wanted to gag.

“Can you make me forget too?” The med-tech huffed as they came to a halt by a table that seemed to have been reserved for them. River picked up the card on the table, checking that it was their table and gestured for them to sit once she was satisfied.

“You do remember how I go about doing that. But by all means,” she winked at Liv as she sat down gracefully.

“Maybe not. She’s joking. You are joking, Liv, right?” Helen intervened quickly as she took a seat on the other side of the table, across from her best friend.

“Yes. I will just be thoroughly uncomfortable in silence, don’t worry,” Liv huffed as she looked around. Their table was dangerously close to the stage. She was facing towards it, while River took a seat to her right, leaving the seat to her left for the Doctor.

“Try to enjoy yourself, Liv,” the linguist gave her a pointed look across the table and Liv could tell she was beginning to get frustrated with her complaining. Feeling bad, the med-tech nodded. She didn’t want to ruin her best friend’s fun if that’s what it was going to be.

“Alright,” she conceded and tried her best to relax. For a moment, it seemed to be working but only until River turned her attention to Helen again and commented:

“You look lovely this evening, Miss Sinclair, if I may say so.”

“Alright, with the flirting, stop it right-” Liv snapped quickly but the linguist waved her off.

“Oh shush, Liv,” she shot her a glare that left the med-tech speechless. “Thank you. The Doctor has a surprising amount of nice dresses in the wardrobe hall.” She smoothed down the fabric of the turquoise dress she was wearing that was in fact extremely becoming, there was no denying that. Liv had to admit to herself that in the time she had been walking behind her best friend, she had been thoroughly distracted by the sight in front of her.

“Wears some of them too, sometimes,” River commented with a laugh. “They cut a nice figure.”

“Which one of them?” Helen asked, intrigued and the professor laughed:

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Here we gooo, drinks.” As if on cue, the Doctor appeared at their table, carrying a tray of cocktails.

“And just in time, looks like the show is about to start,” River gave her husband a fond smile as he passed around the drinks, all of which had been decorated with numerous small umbrellas. Around them, the light was beginning to dim.

“You know Burlesque was actually-” The Doctor started but Helen interrupted him, before he could gain steam.

“Please, no history lesson right now, Doctor,” she sighed as she stood to turn her chair around to be able to face towards the stage, a gesture River was mirroring. She moved her chair up to sit with the linguist and Liv felt a renewed wave of jealousy while being stuck on the other side of the table. Before she could do something about it, however, the Doctor carried on:

“Well, I know that River and Liv are only here to look at the women but I would have expected some cultural interest from you, Helen Sinclair,” he wagged his finger at her.

”What can I say, I’m only human,” the linguist retorted and sat in her chair facing the stage.

“Evidently,” the Doctor huffed. “But fine, fine, I will keep my knowledge to myself, I will hoard it and guard it like a dragon gold if no-one is interested, you will never know that-”

“You do realise, Sweetie, that we are three of the most intelligent women you’ve ever met,” River interjected to stop him going off on another tangent. “If we want to learn something new, we go and look it up. If we want to lose ourselves in the thrilling, lustful experience of a first class Burlesque show, we will do that. So if it’s all the same to you…”

“I never…” he huffed, slumping back in his chair, as the show started.

Liv had to concede that the dancers were extremely talented. It was more than plain stripping for the fun of it. Of course she wouldn’t admit this to anyone but she was beginning to enjoy the show. What she wasn’t enjoying was the look of blatant awe on Helen’s face that she could just about make out every time she turned to River to say something.

“I don’t like it,” Liv huffed at the Doctor eventually when River put her arm across the back of Helen’s chair.

“What? I thought you appreciated the fairer sex,” the Doctor replied, only mildly interested in the show, his attention stayed with the pink umbrella in his presumably non-alcoholic drink. Liv’s drink, however, was very alcoholic and she was glad for it when she took a generous mouthful.

“That’s not what-” she groaned, frustrated, when she watched Helen lean over to River again and whispered something to her. The Professor, in turn, laughed and threw her impressive hair back and Liv felt another stab of jealousy in her gut. “That, I don’t like that! River being all…” She gestured at the pair of them and the Doctor followed her gaze. “She’s your ‘whatever’ get her to stop flirting with Helen!” She demanded and he seemed to take offence. His response was surprisingly quick and insistent:

“Well, Helen, is your ‘whatever’, so, you know, you do something.”

“What am I meant to do?” Liv threw her hands up in the air in annoyance.

“I don’t know,” the Doctor shrugged as she took another gulp of her drink to try and settle her nerves. “Maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess if you’d taken your clothes off for Helen…” he huffed, seemingly equally exasperated at the whole situation as Liv was.

“EXCUSE ME?!” The med-tech exclaimed with her head whipping around to him, so quickly that she nearly gave herself whiplash. She couldn’t believe he had just said that and he wasn’t even drunk to excuse the outrageous leap.

“I’m just saying, she wouldn’t need to go looking elsewhere,” he carried on, seemingly unfazed by her outburst.

“You’re unbelievable, you- I don’t even-” she stuttered, flushing bright red. He must have picked up on the way she looked at Helen, he was clearly more perceptive than he led on, but what made him think the linguist would actually appreciate her advances? Or have her strip for her? She didn’t dare entertain the thought that, maybe, he had picked up on something that she hadn’t. Helen had never given her reason to hope and thus, Liv had kept a respectable distance. Now, the Doctor’s words were pulling the rug from under her feet.

“Honestly, I don’t understand your human mating rituals. It’s so obvious and yet-” the Time Lord sighed exasperated as he picked up two of the umbrellas and used them like spinning tops on the table for entertainment.

“I’m actually going to slap you in a minute,” Liv growled although her eyes returned to Helen. Her thoughts were racing, thanks to the Doctor’s comments and the alcohol in her system. Her friend was thoroughly enjoying the show - and not just for the artistry of it - so at the very least she could be sure that she had an interest in women. The med-tech took a shaky breath as she wondered whether that meant she was in with a chance after all. If only it wasn’t for River Song muscling in, who just brushed a strand of hair off Helen’s shoulder so she could whisper something to her ear.

“Wouldn’t be the first or the last time,” the Doctor retorted beside her and she shot him a glare.

“Yes, but unlike when River does it, you’re not going to like it,” she hissed furiously. Her anger wasn’t necessarily even directed at him, it was her frustration with the whole situation.

“Oh no…” the Time Lord winced suddenly and she frowned.

“What?” She asked and knowing she wouldn’t like the answer, she followed his gaze back to their friends on the other side of the table. She nearly had a heart attack when she saw that suddenly, Helen had one of the dancers virtually on top of her - well, on her lap - and Liv’s head started spinning. A storm of racing thoughts and overpowering emotions whipped up, the most prominent one being jealousy. “I’m going to kill River for this…” she growled and downed the rest of her drink in one go. In response the Doctor waved for the waiter to get her another. She would need it, particularly considering that Helen seemed to be having an excellent time.

“Well that was-” Helen appeared utterly delighted, clapping excitedly, as the lights came up in intermission.

“A good time?” River grinned in agreement.

“Yes, I- Yes,” the linguist seemed to have no other words for it. Liv looked on over the rim of her third nearly empty cocktail glass, seething quietly. She had spent most of the show watching her best friend, rather than the girls on stage, and her frustration and jealousy had completely derailed any thought of enjoyment.

“I’m gonna grab some more drinks before the show carries on,” River announced and got to her feet, scanning the table to find out who else needed one.

“Right, yes, good idea. I might just nip to the bathroom quickly while there is a break,” Helen got to her feet as well. She brushed her hair back and fanned herself some air. She looked thoroughly flushed and whether it was the temperature in the bar or her reaction to the show was anybody’s guess.

“What are you looking so miserable about?” River frowned at Liv, seemingly having noticed her sour mood.

“Fuck off, River,” the med-tech huffed and watched Helen make her way across the bar towards the bathrooms.

“Tetchy,” the professor tutted but didn’t take offence, she seemed amused more than anything else.

“I need some air.” Liv stood quickly as she made a split second decision that she knew she would probably regret but her intoxicated, angry mind demanded. As Liv marched off, she heard the Doctor shoot at River:

“Was that really necessary?”

“Trust me, okay? It’ll work out fine in the end,” River retorted but her voice got drowned out by the general noise of the bar when the med-tech headed for the bathroom. She didn’t know what to make of that exchange and decided she wouldn’t try to analyse it. She didn’t have the brain capacity for it and her mind was turning singularly focused when she pushed open the door to the bathroom Helen had disappeared into a few minutes ago.

“Liv, hi!” The linguist greeted her brightly. She was standing by the sinks, in the process of washing her hands. “Are you okay?” She raised her eyebrows, clearly picking up on her friend’s mood. “I’m sorry if you’re not enjoying yourself, I would have thought-” She picked up some paper towel to dry her hands and Liv quickly crossed the short space towards her.

“Just stop,” she snapped and, without allowing herself a moment to think it through, she grabbed her friend’s face and kissed her firmly.

“Oh God, Liv-” Helen breathed, obviously stunned, and Liv wasn’t discouraged. She pushed her hands into her hair and backed her against the sink and her efforts were successful. The linguist kissed her back, surprisingly more eagerly than she had anticipated, and relief mixed with her frustration. She was on the right track. She pushed herself closer to her, moved her hands down her body, allowing herself that pleasure that she never thought she would be able to enjoy, and Helen arched against her.

Suddenly the bathroom door opened and a stuttered “Sorry, uhm-” from other guests forced Liv to ease her assault. She broke away, even as the other patrons decided to come back at a later time and left them to it. Liv watched Helen for a moment, trying to discern the expression on her face. It was one of curiosity, she decided, it was enough to encourage her to keep going. Consequences be damned, she had started this, she would finish it.

The door fell into the lock and they were alone once more.

“Liv, what are you-” Helen squeaked, surprised, when she grabbed her by the hand and pulled her with her, to one of the empty bathroom stalls, the only place of privacy at her disposal. The linguist couldn’t protest, at least not before Liv had dragged her inside, thrown the door shut and swiftly locked it. Liv was sure she had figured out what Helen was doing and she was going to risk it.

”What you clearly want,” the med-tech answered sharply and pushed Helen up against the door. She claimed her lips in another forceful kiss. She pushed her tongue inside her mouth and dug her fingers into her hips.

”Oh God-” Helen gasped, she squeezed her eyes shut and groaned when Liv released her lips and instead ran a trail of hot kisses down her throat. Her reaction was undoubtedly one of enjoyment so she kept going.

“Nice of you to wear a dress,” she growled and reached under her skirt. She ran her hands up her thighs and bunched up the fabric as she went.

“Liv-” Her name came out as the throaty moan and the linguist bucked her hips forward, onto Liv’s thigh that she was pushing between hers.

“Was that your plan?” The med-tech demanded as she ran her lips and tongue down to her neckline. She pulled down the fabric to reveal her bra. “Winding me up all night?” She palmed her breast roughly. She could have taken her time, could have undressed her properly and given every inch of her body the attention she had imagined she would when she got the chance but she was overcome by a primal need, born from jealousy, intoxication and frustration and she didn’t have the patience for it. She was going to show her she was playing with fire and was about to get burned. Only, it was more than obvious that Helen was a m6oth to a flame right now. Her breathing was heavy and sensual moans escaped her lips, far too intoxicating in her lovely tone of voice, as she ground against Liv’s thigh. It was all the proof the med-tech needed to know she had been right in her assumption, Helen had been playing her and she would make her regret it.

“I don’t know what you-” Helen started, her words innocent but her eyes telling a different story, and it was reason enough for the med-tech to drag the cup of her bra down and close her lips around her nipple. “AH-” Helen gasped.

“Flirting with River, eyeing up those girls…” Liv growled against her sensitive skin.

“You’re so jealous,” Helen gave a breathless laugh and knotted her hands into her hair, keeping her where she was. “River said you would be.”

“I’m not jealous!” The med-tech snarled and ripped herself out of her grasp. “I’m mad!” She pushed her hand under the linguist’s chin and forced her head up so she had better access to her throat. She had half a mind to leave bruises all over her.

“Yeah? And what are you going to do about it?” The linguist challenged in a low voice and Liv lost what little remained of her self-control. River and her must have planned this, played her the fool and she wasn’t going to stand for it. If they had been so painfully aware of her attraction to Helen, this was not the way to go about exposing it!

”You won’t be so smug in a minute,” she hissed and quickly found the space between her legs. For a moment, Helen’s eyes widened with surprise, as if she hadn’t been entirely convinced Liv would go through with it, and it was the little encouragement the med-tech needed to do just that. She pushed aside the damp fabric of her pants, and slid her fingers inside her with ease, secretly thrilled at how wet she was. It was just another indication at how perfectly calculated her actions had been, geared towards this inevitable result. By this point, Liv couldn’t have cared less - she had taken the bait almost too willingly - and forgot all about it at the sound of Helen crying out. “You know someone could walk in at any minute,” she growled into the crook of her neck.

“Let them,” the linguist groaned, moving her hips to meet her hand in an increasingly intense rhythm.

“Do you want them to hear how desperate you sound?” Liv smirked, thrusting harder and delighting in her gasps and moans.

“They can hear how much I enjoy you getting mad,” Helen hummed in a low voice. “But you know what I would enjoy even more?”

“Do tell,” Liv chuckled, sinking her teeth into the soft skin of her throat, just over her pulse point. She could feel her heart racing against her lips and it was an intoxicating feeling to know it was her doing.

“Your face between my legs,” she smirked and for a moment, Liv couldn’t think. Her mind went blank. So much so that she didn’t think to struggle when the linguist grabbed her hair and pushed her down with surprising strength. In the small space, she lost her balance quickly, and dropped to her knees.

Well, who was she to refuse. Her fingers remained buried inside her and she knelt up to aid her efforts with her tongue. Helen hooked her leg over her shoulder and moved her hips against her. Liv lost herself in the moment. She wrapped her free arm around the linguist’s thigh over her shoulder. She would be lying if she said this wasn’t one of her day dreams realised. Whenever the linguist wore a skirt, she had found herself staring at her long legs, wondering what it would be like to push them apart. It was better than she had imagined. Helen was grinding herself into her mouth and Liv was more than eager to give what she could. Her frustration dispersed into the hot air between them and she found herself taken over by a primal desire to please her rather than try to teach her a lesson. Those two things had quickly become one and the same.

Helen mumbled encouraging nothings above her, fisting her hands into her hair. Liv groaned at the almost painful tugs but it was far too pleasant for her to protest. She felt her tightening around her fingers, her sensual encouragement turning to expletives through her efforts. It only spurred the med-tech on as she swirled and flickered her tongue in tune with her steady thrusts.

“God, Liv-” Helen moaned as her body tensed up. Liv did her best to hold her up when she pushed her into her climax. She shook and whimpered, releasing hot breaths from her heaving chest, as her body slowly lost its tension and she tried to keep upright, balancing against Liv and the door. “Wow-” she breathed, brushing strands of hair out of her sweaty face. Reluctantly, the med-tech let go of her leg and pulled her fingers from her when the last of her aftershocks had subsided.

“Yeah, well, maybe you’ll stop making eyes at the other girls now,” Liv huffed, trying her best to scowl while really, she felt like beaming at the fact that she had finally crossed a line she had wanted to for so long. And what a way to cross it! She struggled to her feet and wiped her hands clean on some toilet paper.

“There is only one girl I’m interested in making eyes at,” Helen admitted sheepishly and the med-tech looked around. The linguist was looking back at her with joy, relief and no small measure of drowsy satisfaction as she leaned against the door.

“Is that so?” Liv asked and what was meant to be a glare turned into a soft smile. She couldn’t be angry when she was getting everything she had ever wanted.

“Is that not obvious?” Helen chuckled and she straightened up, but only so she could reach out and pull Liv towards her.

“Helen-” the med-tech laughed but was silenced with a firm, demanding kiss. Within moments, she found herself pushed against the door in her stead.

“What? You thought you could just have your way with me in a bathroom stall without repercussions?” The linguist smirked and started unbuttoning her shirt in between heated kisses.

“We will miss the second half of the show-” Liv tried to protest but Helen wasn’t having it.

“Do you really think I’d want to watch other girls take their clothes off when I have you right here?” She grinned.

#Doctor Who #fanfiction #liv chenka #helen sinclair #river song #eighth doctor #femslash #liv x helen #this is definitely something river would do #she is a terrible influence

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unohanadaydreams · 3 years

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Could I get Knight! Kenpachi and Princess! Reader, otome scenario first meeting please! I hope I read the rules correctly jejdnfnf

YES! Y E S!!!! anon this is SO big brained. Oh my god. Please feel all the freedom to request more prompts for knight!kenpachi.

notes: a first meeting for the game’s surroundings, premise, protagonist, and Kenpachi all wrapped in one. Ah, the divine struggle between duty and lusting after + growing to love one fine motherfucker.

i thought of setting this in a Japanese inspired castle, but I know myself and I would get too caught up in being ‘accurate’. instead i’m gonna stick to what I, a filthy fantasy casual, know.

features: SFW content and some olden day vibes.

Bleach Your Heart: The Otome Ask Game

Knight!Kenpachi + Princess!Reader + First Meeting

You are the only daughter and heir of the castle to survive childhood and beyond. Both your parents live, greeting you with love each day you break fast.

The castle you will one day be Lady of is two grey rectangles of stone connected by one laid on its side in the middle of them, encircled by walls so tall it winds you to climb up them. There is little grandeur in your surroundings beyond the luxury of a full belly and warm room, always. Even the flower gardens are built sturdy rather than pretty.

Life is uncertain in the mountains. But not you. Not within your walls, with your father’s defense strategum to support them. There is even a little town within the castle walls, something no generation before him could hope to maintain and protect successfully.

Your father, who has taught you maths, strategy, and how each part of the castle must be maintained with upmost harmony, has announced it is time.

For marriage. And for more protection.

He is not aging well, hands that once held firm a sword too weak at the wrist to pick up a bowl laden of soup. And those who would battle for his castle are growing more organized—more dangerous.

And He is King before being your father, so you do not fuss even if you feel the weight of his responsibilities crushing you into a curtsy.

Those he will make knights the next morning now sit in the dining hall, eating perhaps their first meal of its kind. There are whole birds on the table, roasted well, and garnished with fresh greens meant to bring crisp freshness to the juicy meat. Thick stew and bowls of berries serve to fill any stomach that the birds do not satisfy. Not grand, but plenty.

You stop at the western entrance, wearied by worries of the future.

There is seldom so much noise as now. The men, all wearing some form of leathers and bits of mail, seem more aflame than the scones that flicker on the walls. You easily spot the newcomers—those who are already knights have been for most your life and are comparably calm.

A man with no hair and colorful makeup springing from the corner of his eyes like wings bangs his tankard on the table one—two—three times after gulping it down in seconds. Yells his victory and calls for another.

The man across from him, hair of oil and feathers truly decorating his eyes, throws a berry at the bald man’s face. It misses.

The bald man turns his head, laughing, to watch the fruit sail past him, and spots you. He waves, calling something you can’t understand, words unfamiliar.

Your hands untangle from behind you and one springs up to return his gesture before you can remember that you are in a doorway, where anyone could be behind you. Perhaps he is being friendly and grateful, you think, for your father choosing him, when so many trained up warriors from your land and the next struggle to find a place with no official war to guide them anymore.

A deep chuckle behind you is all you need to remember your surroundings. You turn, eyesight not filled, but overwhelmed by the height and lean bulk of the man meant to receive the greeting you took for your own.

“Oh,” you say after moments of staring, voice quiet and faraway sounding to your own ears. “Greetings.”

The side of his face where a long scar is carved into skin--above, below, and through his eye--is more lifted into smile than the other. A patch covers his other eye, held by nothing; seemingly nailed into his face by metal studs at the edges of the fabric.

It is not his appearance, punctuated by wild black hair sticking out at the sides like a wolf pelt does at one’s back, but his smile that hushes your manners and leaves you standing there--staring.

The smile is too wide and open. You can not help but remember Martha, who’s smile split her face similarly when hearing that her husband had not returned due to the cold rather than an enemy. Her usually puckered lips had bared her teeth as she laughed harsh, breath white and swirling into the cold air.

He had a smile that spoke of madness.

You heard Martha’s laughter as he acknowledged your words with a nod, asking, “Ya lost or something?”

“Lost,” you say in an echo, eyes drawn to the thin sword at his waist. “N-no. Not at all. I am princess to this castle.”

He laughs, the sound mingling with that which had begun to haunt your ears, as he shrugged. “Guess you’ve never seen a real warrior, then. Thought so, with all the stiffs you’ve got lazin’ around.”

The comment rouses you from where you’d retreated into yourself, drawing your eyes narrow. “I can see you are from across the mountain and perhaps you’ve different ideas of what a true fighter is, but know that all who protect this castle are genuine warriors.”

“Protect? I’m here to fight,” he says, gripping the hilt of his sword and shaking it for emphasis. “That’s what your daddy promised us. Is he a liar?”

“W-no; of course he isn’t,” you lift your chin, responding with gusto. “My father is an honest man and king.”

The man snorts, his head bowing toward the tables of familiar men who had accepted your fistful of flowers and paraded you around on their horses as a child, “They wouldn’t last as a warm up against me.”

“You won’t be fighting them,” you say, eyeing his crossed arms, wanting so much to reach out and smack one of them. “Surely, you must know protection comes before everything? Don’t they teach you that from wherever you come from?”

“Anything I know, I taught myself,” he grunts, smile gone. “And I know a real fighter when I see ‘em. Just like I know I wasn’t hired to sit and wait for a battle to come my way.”

Your father’s words in the throne room pressed you once more and forced a sigh from your chest. “You were hired to escort me to court, then.”

“Yeah, promised a lot of danger along the way, too. Always fun to be had on the edge of a kingdom.” He spoke with utmost confidence, leaning closer than any real knight would dare.

Your father had chosen this man, so you would not ask him to reconsider, but hearing him speak of killing as though it were as much a hobby as needlework or jousting made you bristle.

But you would not let your anger sit on your tongue or coat your words. It would be unwise to lash out against the person who would be a great part responsible for your future safety.

“If you are so great a warrior,” you say slowly, “and the one who will escort me, then it is an honor.”

You dip into a curtsy, listing off your proper title and name before inquiring for his.

“Zaraki Kenpachi--ah fuck, it’s backwards here, ain’t it,” he mumbles, looking to the side, his smile small and human. “Kenpachi Zaraki.”

“Lovely to meet you, Kenpachi Zaraki,” you say, hardly meaning it.

“Nah, you don’t like me at all,” he says as he passes you, large hand giving your back one firm pat. “Do ya, princess?”

#kenpachi zaraki #kenpachi zaraki x reader #bleach imagines #bleach x reader #bleach your heart: the otome meme #oh my GOD WAS THIS SO FUN #please don't pay attention the absolutely BOTCHED manga girl #i did my best with my shitty mouse work aslkdjf;owliaejf

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f1united · 3 years

Text

Zoo - DR3 Imagine

Daniel Ricciardo Imagine

Summary: You and Daniel are having a family day and talk about the future :)

Word Count: 2.9k

Please let me know if you have any f1 requests, I am more than happy to write anything for you!

As much as you loved watching Daniel race, you were grateful that you were able to spend some time with him now the season had ended. Although you were lucky enough to attend many races, your work schedule wouldn’t always allow it and you also wanted to still have time on the weekends to catch up with your friends and family.

You’d decided to spend this Christmas in Australia, it was your first away from home, but you were loving the warm weather and seeing a bit more of Daniel’s family. You had met them plenty of times now and were so thankful for how well you got on with them. It was late last night that Daniel had climbed into bed with you, he had been out seeing some of his old friends, leaving you to have the house to yourself that evening.

You loved spending time with Daniel, but it was nice to have some alone time after the busy race weekend. You had a nice long bath and a mini pamper session before painting your nails in front of the tv. You were so tired that you can barely remember him coming home, only noticing when the bed dipped beside you as he pulled you close to his chest.

Your early night may have been the reason you woke up so early the next morning. You weren’t really a morning person but had got a bit better at it over the years. Daniel’s family were coming over for breakfast and then the plan was to go to the local zoo. His nephew loved animals and when you had suggested the idea everyone couldn’t see why not, plus you hadn’t been to a zoo outside the UK and wanted to see if it was any different.

You rolled out of bed and into the shower. Your shoulders relaxed as the warm water hit your skin. It wasn’t as nice as the heat from Daniel’s body, but then you didn’t think anything could ever beat that. You stepped from the shower onto the fluffy bathmat, quickly wrapping yourself in a towel to dry yourself off. You walked into the dressing room opposite the bedroom and slipped on a nice summer dress. You rummaged through the drawers to find some nude underwear that would be discreet under the light colour of the dress but were unsuccessful, realising they must be in the utility room drying with the clothes you had washed yesterday. You placed your towel in the wash basket and made your way downstairs.

The view from Daniel’s kitchen was beautiful, the white rectangular island stretched for metres and looked across to the dining table and lounge area where you’d often have company. The folding glass doors separated you from a huge garden, some of his nephew’s toys were littered around the patio from when he’d last visited and the paving stones drew your eyes towards the pool.

You were lucky to have met Daniel, it had always been you dream to work in Formula 1 and you were beyond grateful to have had the chance to join McLaren in your early 20’s. Of course you knew who Daniel was, and he grew to know who you were. Working mainly at the office in the UK, you didn’t often see him to begin with. You weren’t too annoyed about it, as you fancied the pants off him and found it hard not to blush anytime he even looked in your direction. Your team was more in the background, didn’t attend races and just focused on the work at hand so when a few of your team members began getting invites you were slightly confused. You’d spoken to Zac Brown about it, he had interviewed you for your role and you had got on very well with him ever since. He had just said that your hard work had been noticed and smiled as you left his office.

Your team was overjoyed with the invites to races, it was something all of you had always spoken about. You were more of a family unit, you saw each other for hours on end every day and had grown so close that summer barbeques and birthday get togethers happened regularly, they made great drinking partners.

Whenever you’d see Daniel at a race, you’d wish him good luck as everyone else around him would too. However, you didn’t know he’d noticed how your eyes lingered on his body slightly longer whenever he was in his race suit or how you intensely stared at his hands when he ruffled his hair after he took his helmet off. It wasn’t really new to him, someone was always watching, but something about it being your eyes had got his attention. It made him slightly nervous if he was honest, but the thought of you watching meant he wanted to go out there and do the best he could in the hope that if he saw you after the race you might congratulate him with a smile on your face, and even the thought of that gave him butterflies.

Even though you were unaware of this, there was never a time he’d finish a race and you wouldn’t congratulate him. You’d grown up watching him race and just thought he was brilliant. A mixture of his personality and nonstop smile along with his determination meant that even in a race where Lewis Hamilton might even be about to win a championship, you would still be watching his car. Whether it was in 2nd or 16th, that’s where your eyes would be. Some of his crew has started to pick up on it, although the people you worked closely with sometimes joked about your little crush on him they never mentioned it outside of the group. As much as it was all fun and games, there was a mutual understanding that this was a professional environment and things like that weren’t to be joked about around management, and especially the drivers. It wasn’t any comments they’d noticed, they would tell Daniel after races how you’d been shouting at the screens just as much as they had, often louder. How you’d cheer when he overtook someone, even if it only meant it was for a single point.

Sometimes he’d question why they told him these things, a slight hint of sarcasm in his voice and they all rolled their eyes at him. They’d noticed how he’d look for you after a race, craving the smallest conversation from you and how he would instantly start paying more attention if he heard your name mentioned. They would poke fun at him and wind him up where they could but at the end of the day he understood he was there to race, and that’s what he did.

You were emptying the dishwasher when his arms snaked around your waist and kissed your shoulder before resting his head on it and whispering a small morning into your ear.

“I’ve been calling down for you, what has you in a little world of your own?” he questioned as you both swayed from side to side lightly.

“Nothing” you smiled as you placed the bowl you’d picked up on the side and turned around to face him.

“You sure about that?” he smirked as your eyes found his. “That smile suggests otherwise” It was true, you were grinning from ear to ear.

“Just thinking about when I first started coming to the paddock, and now here I am in the kitchen of the best-looking driver in Formula 1” he let out a small laugh as you spoke. You wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a small peck on the lips.

“What can I say? I’m great with the ladies” you playfully smacked him on the arm and frowned before laughing and turning your back to him to continue unloading the dishes. He moved his hands down from your waist to your arse as you bent over to grab something off the lower shelf. Then to your surprise he lifted the bottom part of your dress up.

“Daniel!” you laughed as you shot up and turned around again.

“You seem to have forgotten to put on underwear” he winked at you

“That isn’t my attempt to seduce you” you giggled as he started kissing your face. “It’s in the utility room”

“Lame excuse” he continued kissing you, starting to trail down your neck. Just before he could do anything else, the doorbell rang. He looked at you and groaned as you let out a laugh.

“I’ll go and put some underwear on while you let them in” you unwrapped his arms from around you and left a kiss on the corner of his lips as you made your way across the kitchen and he headed towards the door.

“Or don’t” he responded.

“I’m not really planning on flashing anyone accidently today” you replied. You heard him laugh as he opened the door and greeted his family. His parents and sister’s family made their way into the kitchen as you came out the utility welcoming them all with a hug. It had been a few months since you’d last seen them as you hadn’t been able to make it to all races.

“It’s so lovely to see you” his mum spoke as everyone began sitting down on the sofas. You were nervous when you first met his family. The age difference between Daniel and you wasn’t huge, but it had certainly gained some media attention. You didn’t want his family to think you were with him for his money and fame or even think that you were too immature to be with him. You had never brought it up with him before you’d met his parents, but he could sense you were nervous and knew why. He knew there wasn’t anything for you to worry about but didn’t say anything as he didn’t want it to play on your mind. He was right though, they loved seeing the two of you happy together and could immediately see how genuine your feelings for one another were.

“I’ve missed you guys; I’ve been looking forward to today for ages” you smiled. It was true, you loved spending time with his family. You had a relatively small family but that doesn’t mean it drama free, there was always something going on and here you felt slightly more relaxed. Daniel loved that, for years he couldn’t imagine bringing someone into his family in case they didn’t get along but when he saw how well you fitted in he couldn’t help but watch and smile.

“Y/N” his nephew shouted as he ran through the kitchen towards you. He held him arms out for you to pick him up and you placed him on your hip.

“How are you little man?” you asked

“I’m okay, look!” he said pointing down to a scrape on his knee.

“Oh no, how’d you do that?” you asked

“I fell over out there on the drive” he explained.

“Shall we put some cream on it?” you asked, “we don’t want it to get dirty do we?” he nodded his head as you spoke and carried him over to the medicine cabin and sat him on the worktop before grabbing some antiseptic cream out and rubbing it into his knee.

“Look Uncle Daniel!” he shouted across the kitchen to get his attention as he showed him his knee that now had a plaster on.

“Wow, Auntie Y/N has fixed you!” he gasped making the little boy giggle as you picked him up and put him down on the floor so he could explore wherever he wanted.

“Auntie Y/N?” you questioned Daniel as you began to get food out of the fridge for breakfast. You spoke quietly, you had never been called that before and didn’t want his family thinking that you were the one who wanted to be called that.

“What’s wrong with that?” he replied as he grabbed the eggs and bread from the cupboard next to you.

“Just haven’t been called that before, I don’t want him to think he has to call me that”

“He always calls you Auntie Y/N” Daniel said casually which caused you to freeze a bit. You had been dating for about 3 years now but hadn’t really considered that his nephew had grown up with you around and didn’t know any different. You continued to place the bacon next to the stove and grabbed a frying pan out from the drawer below.

After breakfast was over, you all headed to the zoo and spent the day wondering around visiting all of the animals. Seeing Daniel with his nephew made you smile, they had so much fun together. You also secretly loved when he went into dad mode like when he was making sure that he’d had enough to eat or drink and making sure he had enough sun cream on and wasn’t too hot. It made you excited for the future, not that you had spoke about it in much depth. You both wanted kids but hadn’t discussed when, you just figured it would happen when it felt right.

You all headed back to the house after the zoo, it was getting quite late, so you’d all ordered a takeaway. Daniel’s parents left not long after while the rest of you had some drinks, agreeing that they would all spend the night in the spare room so his nephew could stick to his routine. You didn’t drink much, only a gin with dinner. You wanted Daniel’s sister and her husband to have the chance to get a little bit drunk so agreed to stay sober in case something happened to the toddler and someone needed to be able to drive.

He was currently asleep leaning against your chest while you were all sat on the sofa’s chatting.

“I’ll put him to bed” Daniel’s sister went to get up from the sofa, but the sudden movement sent her head spinning slightly and caused her to sit back down. Everyone let out a little laugh as you volunteered yourself to carry him to the room and make sure he was settled for the night. As you carried him upstairs he stirred a little. Placing him in the bed he started muttering about the animals from today, you spoke back quietly, careful not to wake him even further as you stroked his head lightly and he drifted back to sleep. As you got up to leave, you jumped at Daniel standing in the doorway.

After shutting the door slightly so the noise from downstairs wouldn’t disturb him, Daniel spoke up. “I thought I’d see what was taking so long” he was slightly drunk, his eyes a bit drowsy compared to their normal alertness.

“I’ve been gone for about 2 minutes lover” you replied as he embraced you in a hug.

“I know I just like seeing you with him” now he was just being soppy. You laughed and took his hands into yours as you stepped back.

“I like seeing you with him too” you winked.

“Maybe,” he whispered as he hugged you again, “we should give him a cousin” he lifted you up as he spoke, and you wrapped you legs around his waist. He started walking towards the stairs but then walked past you towards the bedroom.

“Daniel Ricciardo we have visitors’ downstairs” You laughed as he carried you into the room and placed you on the side of the bed.

“They won’t hear if we’re quiet” he suggested as he ran his hand up your thigh.

“No but they’ll definitely know what we’re up to” you ran you fingers through his hair as he leaned over you before pulling him into a kiss. You continued for a minute or two until you could feel him starting to get hard against you. “We can continue this when everyone’s gone to bed” you voice was almost a whisper, you wanting this as much as him but not wanting to be rude to the couple sat downstairs, although if you’d have been drinking too you were sure it would be a completely different scenario.

It wasn’t until late the next morning after waving goodbye to his sister, brother in law and nephew that Daniel had mentioned your conversation from the night before. You both headed back upstairs to the bedroom, you were meeting some friends for lunch and both needed to get ready.

“I wasn’t kidding yesterday” You were doing your makeup in the ensuite mirror as he dried himself off from the shower. You were concentrating more on his body in the reflection than where you were spraying your setting spray. “I want to have kids with you”

With Daniel being older, it played on his mind that by the time you wanted kids, he’d be too old. He hadn’t wanted kids when he was your age and expected you to feel the same but he also didn’t want to be an old dad, he wanted to be involved with as much as he could for as long as he could. Even you thought you’d be a bit lost for words when having kids were mentioned. When you were younger you had wanted to have a secure career path and always imagined having kids in your late twenties, maybe even early thirties. However, things were different now. You loved your job and you had the man of your dreams alongside you.

“Let’s have a baby then”

#daniel ricciardo #f1 imagine #f1 #f1 masterlist #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo one shot #max verstappen #charles leclerc #lando norris #mclaren #george russell #imagine #one shot #formula 1

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