#How else do you think he got to live to be [redacted]?

[elf-simp]

04: Clash (liliturgy prompt list)

"You have much to learn, child. Trickery should be expected from every angle. Now come, stand and ready yourself once more."

[diari0deglierrori]

Thinking about that post that said would you ever date someone who has the same name as you and might have to change my answer as I had ✨Thoughts✨ about someone I met tonight

[dipperscavern]

STARK SIZE KINK STARK SIZE KINK STARK SIZE KINK!

No one in the world could convince me that the stark bloodline is not half giant or something. Idk how they thought giants didn’t exist for years when the stark men were RIGHT THERE! On how tall cregan is… Do not tell me he isn’t 6’5-6’7 because george r.r. martin whispered it into my ear last night. He loooooooooves how tall he is compared to you, he relishes in just towering over you and watching your eyes get all big as you look up. He doesn’t even mean to be freaky wit it… he just thinks you are the sweetest little thing he has ever seen. Whenever he is with you out in public he likes to keep you nice and flush to his side so that if anything may happen, or if you are to fall victim to the northern cold, he may hold you close to protect you from whatever may befall you. He scares off everyone around you like a big scary bodyguard. He likes being close to you in general, loves the feeling of having your relatively small figure in contrast to his much larger one. When he beds you it is much worse really. Expect that he will crowd your personal space and leave you no air to breathe. Face all up in the crook of your neck, his big arms all-encompassing as he makes you feel aaaallllllllllllllll of him.

There are two walls in the north, The Wall™️ and cregans big backed body okay You Have To Just Think About It… He has been hardened by the trials of war and the duties that come along with being warden of the north. Nothing comes easy to anyone living that far up the hemisphere. That being said, he is muscular. Incredibly ripped and skilled with his sword (🤫). Just a big brute of a man, who is freakishly tall, and is casually dressed in pelts that are inches thick to shield him from the northern wind. If you squint he’s built like a roblox character… And do not think i forgot that time you mentioned how he would assert his dominance by backing you into a wall and just reminding you of who he is by just standing there and letting you soak it all in (🤫). You might think of him of your kind and lovely doting husband, but at the end of the day he is Lord Cregan Stark and you will know it before the end. The end being when he realizes you like the size difference a little too much and has you on your back against your soft blankets in no time with his [REDACTED] at the cusp of pushing into you (he likes to press down on your stomach once its fully inside btw) (how else do you think he got all those fuckass kids).

p.s. his dick is the ‘Ice’ of dicks :///

lots to think about… lots to ponder… (same anon as the possessive starks ask <3)

U CALLING CREGAN BIG BACKED LMFAOO. and him pressing down on your stomach…. oh my god. his dick being the ive of dicks is so… gods. he has to prep you good to be able to take him. i literally… don’t even have anything else to add this is all perfect. i can only push the message further.

[i gesture to this ask] FEAST YOUR EYEs

(cregan size kink drabbles coming to your screen soon)

[shiro-s2e2-erukinzu]

Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 98... You have been warned...! 👌

[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]

This chapter literally broke me in more ways than one...

This chapter is a continuation of Martha and Henderson's backstory from Mission 97, so let's talk about it shall we...?

So when I opened this chapter and saw a radio...:

...I literally got PTSD from seeing it because it immediately made me think of the first part of Mission 62, Twilight's (or rather [REDACTED]'s) past, so I knew that things were about to take a turn for the worst...! 😔

On the same page, Martha asks Henderson what he's doing here and he tells her that there's a personnel shortage, so he got to graduate early. Then, Henderson turns off the radio and says this:

This is just... It's so sad, but true that things, like radios, that were once made for helping others can easily be used to spread hatred and cause harm... It's just not right... 😞

Moving on, after being separated for so long, Martha and Henderson were able to have another tea party like they used to have, but it wasn't long before things started to take a turn... During a school safety drill, Martha asks Henderson if he's excused from being drafted, and he tells her...:

"It may be that even education is powerless now."... 😟

Hearing Henderson say that hurts my soul... But nothing could prepare me for the next few pages...

Why... Why do things like this have to happen... 😣

No, things like this SHOULDN'T happen...! Innocent people dying because of senseless violence, because of war, it's just not right nor is it fair...! And I will always stand by that...!!

Continuing on, Henderson finds out that Martha is volunteering for The Women's Defense Auxiliary and he's upset by this. She tells him that the ballet company she was a part of is going to disband and her dream will go with it, so he scolds her again and she tells him this:

My heart hurts just seeing the anguish in face and in her words...!! 💔

And the heart break continues because Martha overhears that Henderson is going to be married off and she is devastated... But while in tears, she overhears that the dance is coming again, so this is her last chance to tell him how she feels...!

At the dance, Martha approaches Henderson:

Martha looks so cute here...!! 💗 I was so excited to see them dance together, that when I turned the page, something unexpected happened... I started to cry...:

Seeing them happy, even though just for this moment, it reminded me why I love Spy X Family so much... It's for these moments, the moments that most of S×F's cast is fighting for, the moments that we all should strive for...!! There are just so many bad things going on in the world that it makes wish that moments like these could be the norm for all instead of some...!! I just don't understand why must there be so much hatred and malice in the world... Why can't we all live in peace instead of conflict...

Gosh, I'm even crying now just writing all of that... I should probably start to wrap this up...!

So, just as Martha is about to confess to Henderson, this happens...:

...and the chapter ends... 💔😭💔

And that was Mission 98; truly such a heartwreching chapter to read, just like Mission 62 was...

I don't even know what else to say except thank you to Endo... Thank you for making this manga, for getting me feel all of these feelings, for giving me the opportunity to share these feelings with everyone that loves this series as much as I do...!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart...!! 💗

And thank you to all of you that reads this post...!! There's a lot of things that I wish that I could do to make the world a better place, but if this post inspires you in anyway, that's good enough for me...!! 💗

Sorry for rambling, but anyway... Until the next Mission; take care, be safe out there and thank you for reading...!! 🤗 Later!! 💗

[syoddeye]

🥺🥺🥺 your drink headcanons are precious 💕 farah, alex, nik, and alejandro’s are my favorites. idk if you do requests but could you do first dates too?

hi friend! i'm glad you liked the asking them to watch your drink post. i do not formally take requests but i love when people pop in with ideas. and i really really like this one! i gave it a go

price. he’s never beating the traditionalist allegations. he is arranging the entire thing, picking you up right on fucking time with flowers, and taking you to dinner somewhere you’d never take yourself. does a poor job of hiding how pleased he is to pay, even worse when he persuades you into a walk and has you on his arm. he asks a lot of deep questions that coming from anyone else would put you off, but he’s not dating to fool around, if you catch my drift.

gaz. this man is so plugged into the music scene. follows bands, artists, and venues religiously because he doesn't get many opportunities to see live music and actually enjoy it. so he asks you for a genre, then sends a redacted screenshot of concert tickets. you grab drinks then head to a hole-in-the-wall. it's always nerve-wracking seeing a musician you know nothing about, but gaz nails it. three dates later and he sends you a personalized playlist. ugh, dreamboat.

soap. listen while i do picture him as a very outdoorsy and active guy, i think for a first date he's going to take you to a drink and draw. it's casual and scales to the mood, meaning it can be both an intimate and cozy experience, or fucking hilarious and a rowdy time. plus it gives him the chance to show off. draws a mini you and him at the end surrounded by trees. what’s that? oh that’s date two. a casual camping trip.

ghost. dinner and a movie. no, he did not just look up 'first date 101'. he's just not big on public places, and he knows that's a hurdle in dating. so he video chats you a few times before arranging the date to get you comfortable with him and to see his place, because babe, he's hosting. he's not the world's best cook so he'll order takeaway if you prefer, and if that goes well, he'll let you pick the movie. what happens after who knows

alejandro. he's the guy that knows the guy that owns the farm that supplies the bougie restaurant you've been wanting to try. and that guy owes him a favor. he drives you out there in his truck and has a table with candles and flowers waiting. he has you sit with your drink of choice and watch him prepare dinner, busting out all the tricks to impress you. yeah, he could’ve taken you to his ranch, but that’ll happen when he figures out he’s serious about you. date three.

rudy. rudy the foodie has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? it’s weird at first when he insists on picking you up in the early afternoon, but when you arrive to a local food festival, you get it. you need the hours to slowly walk around, and to digest the amount of bite-sized dishes and snacks you sample. he gushes about his family’s cooking, how he wishes he had more time to dedicate to cooking and play around with recipes. gets a little sheepish. you have him eating out of the palm of your hand when you take him to a cookbook store on date two.

kate. in my heart she is a patron of the arts. similar to gaz, she doesn’t get a lot of time to soak it up, so she finds galleries and museums through personal recommendations. she’s got a broad network, why not use it? she’s not a snob either. elbow to elbow at some gallery opening, staring at a befuddling piece of art, she’ll swirl her glass of wine and lean over to whisper, “do you want to get out of here? i can’t make heads or tails of this.”

nik. you are going up in that heli. asks if you want to take a nighttime helicopter ride to see the city by night. jokes about this time a young sergeant fell out and he thought he killed him. ha ha ha. the ride culminates with him landing on the rooftop of a friend’s building, and taking the elevator a few floors down to said friend's restaurant. not feeling fancy? that's okay, to the basement then for gambling and drinks.

farah. it's a surprise. she asks for your physical limitations. hm. what is she playing at? but you trust her. you receive strict instructions on what to wear, and then what extra clothes to bring. hmm. you end up at a rock climbing gym. at first you think, oh god, exercise and a new skill in front of someone cute? but farah is so encouraging and supportive. after, when you clean up, she whisks you away to a reservation that just so happens to be at your fave place. you compare biceps over dessert, and she’s shoots you a sly look when she squeezes your muscle.

alex. if you're up for it, he’d love to take you somewhere in nature. a hike or simple walk at the local park, doesn’t matter to him. he’s more relaxed and himself outdoors, and has the kind of energy that makes you open up. you find a good spot to picnic and talk for hours. real sweet, a good listener—so it surprises you when, at the end, he’s a smidge forward. “so next weekend…”

[moonchild-in-blue]

Vessel and the New Lore

So the new messages got me thinking and connecting dots. I don't know coherent this will sound, but I think there's something here? Anyways. Something about the relationship Vessel has with himself vs. The Mask.

I thought it'd be interesting to link the parallels between the Room Bellow show and the Fall For Me video messages, with the new ones and the album. Long post ahead so I'll put a cut somewhere.

(This is the second time I'll be writing this cus tumblr decided to be a hoe and deleted my entire draft so if it seems weird, you know. Pro tip: never use the app for long posts.)

Disclaimer: I'm in no way endorsing or encouraging any type of discourse about Vessel's irl identity and/or other [Redacted] and such. Unfortunately I do know things, but not everyone does. Respect the band; don't spoil it for others. If you know, keep it to yourself.

So, starting with the first message:

Mask: Why am I here? What is my purpose in all of this? Vessel: Your purpose is twofold. You protect me, from them, and you also protect them from me. Mask: How is it that I serve to protect anyone from anything, that makes no sense. Vessel: In order for all of this to work there has to be a certain boundary in place. They need to be able to project themselves onto this, without anyone else's identity getting in the way. In turn, I need to be able to show my true self to them in a way that does not compromise their ability to connect. Mask: So that's what I am? A boundary? Vessel: Yes.

We have here a confirmation of what he has told us many times before, either indirectly or not. The Mask/the Vessel persona serves as a way for him to connect and engage with us, while keeping both parties safe. We get to project onto and take from him some sort of comfort and catharsis, without any external factors to influence and skew the way we interpret his music, and He gets to expose and deal with his pain and negative thoughts in a protected environment. Who he is is irrelevant, we're merely here to share and understand each other.

Through the anonymity the mask offers, he is free to be as vulnerable and open with us as he wants, while keeping his identity safely stored away. The Mask serves as the physical reminder of how much we are allowed to know about him, and in return, how far he can (or should) expose himself without compromising his true identity. By living as Vessel and forgetting himself, he is ironically free to bare his most fragile and imperfect parts of himself on display (much like how we're all infinitely more honest about our struggles behind a fake online name than in irl.)

(curiously, this seems to be a contradiction to Higher's second verse, which feeds into the idea that Sleep is not the protector Vessel sometimes claims Them to be - "With all that you believe / You still refuse to shelter me")

From the Room Bellow:

"I experienced a great deal of pain in my life, however I do not believe I have suffered as you have suffered. Perhaps that Is another reason why we are here. At the very least, we have all suffered."

Lore wise, we are told time and time again that Vessel is a "sacred guardian", a messenger, a weapon, a tool - a physical vessel - for Sleep and Their message. He is the answer to Sleep's necessity for connection with us. And for that to work, he willingly gives up his identity for Sleep. For us.

Mask: I don't believe you. I believe there is more to it than that. I believe you are afraid of something. Vessel: We are all afraid of something, are we not? Mask: What is it you are so afraid they will see? Vessel: That I am exactly like everyone else. ... Vessel: I think I am afraid of becoming you. Mask: What does that even mean? Vessel: My life is becoming gradually consumed by you. Before long, all that I am will be contained within you. Then, one day, when I no longer wish to wear you, there will be nothing else left.

"I am afraid, are you afraid? I want to understand what it is to let go." (Fall For Me)

At the end of the day, Vessel is just some guy - he fears, and aches, and bleeds the same as us. We're equals. But as Vessel, he can't allow himself to crack, to break the illusion. As Vessel (and to connect to the lore, as the vessel of a god), he poses as someone we can look up to, someone who's there to carry our pain for us, almost like a symbiotic relationship of sorts - we feed on each other's emotions and energies.

From the Room Bellow:

"To love oneself is not the easy task we are sometimes told it is. (...) My own path towards greater self acceptance is paved with the art that I create. It is a path I continue to stumble down at the expense of everything else."

Without getting too much into it, it seems Vessel/Sleep Token were created as a sort of coping mechanism to deal with whatever it is that He went through. And he seems to have achieved that - he escaped his former self and became "Vessel", someone who's allowed to cry and rage and let his feeling loose. Someone who receives praise and comfort for it, someone who is finally understood.

Except that somehow, that same safety the Mask offered him backfired. Because how can you tell what's you and what's not? It appears that the lines between Vessel vs. Him have blurred beyond recognition. Because "Nothing lasts forever", so once ST ends, and Vessel is no longer a necessity, who does he become? Can he go back to his old self? Is there even a self to go back to?

Do you ever believe that we can turn into different people? It's getting harder to be myself. Do you wish that you loved me? Could we ever release? Is it better to just not feel?

I think it's worth mentioning DYWTYLM. Usually when I listen to it, I just interpret as being about self-love/esteem, suicidal thoughts, insecurities, yada yada yada, BUT! I think it kinda fits this right?? Like a conversation between Vessel and Him, the guy behind the mask.

And really, if you think about it, I think this dialogue is the basis of what TMBTE is. It's Vessel facing all these different facets of himself, the past versions, the ugly sides, coming to terms with them and learning to move on. And in the end, we see he finally does realize, albeit somewhat reluctantly, that there is more to it, than he can "be someone new", even if it means he needs to shed and let go of past versions of himself.

(of course, this is putting aside the whole trilogy and the story we've been told about Sleep/Vessel/Whatever romantic entanglement he was involved in. i'm merely giving this some other meaning and choosing to look through a very specific lens. call it a parallel universe if you want)

It's him accepting that although there may not be a version of himself to come back to, his Eden so to speak, there is finally something more waiting for him. But I'll get more into it later.

Also worth mentioning, this part of conversation-

Mask : Do you think they want you to cry? Do you think they like it? Vessel : Not as such, I think they just want to know that I am feeling something, feeling what they are feeling, perhaps. Mask : Do you think that this amount of crying is healthy for you? Vessel: I don't know. But at least I feel something, if I don't feel anything than why would I even do this?

-seems to be directly co-related to those lines on DYWTYLM. He wonders if maybe would be better not to feel at all, as if really asking himself, "should I continue to live as Vessel?", because that is his/The Mask's function.

(I almost forgot to mention the "Smile back at me" / "I can only ever see them smiling. That's good, I want them to smile." co-relations, but you see where I'm going right?")

Mask: It seems you have forgotten who you are. Before you had me you were nothing. All of this artifice, all this pathetic conjecture about your identity, it is nothing but a manifestation of how short-sighted and solipsistic you have become. I lifted you from misery and obscurity. You would be better to become me. You are nothing without me. You always were nothing without me.

"I am nothing without this music. I am nothing without this mask." (Room Bellow)

Sleep is a dickhead. And there it is - another confirmation of what we all assumed, of what he has also told us many times before in different words. Vessel, or better yet, Him, struggles with imposter syndrome, and a part of him seems to believe his worth is exclusively tied to his ability to create music and perform. Because who matters is Vessel, not Him. The praise and adoration, the glory, belongs to solely Vessel (in-lore, to Sleep).

He does not matter. He is insignificant. He is nothing.

So it makes sense to see how much he wishes to be someone else. How dependent he on his Mask (on Sleep). He can't shed that new identity away, because somehow, it became is ONLY identity. And yet, he knows that one day that must happen. And from a creative/artist standpoint, when you expose yourself the way he does into your art, almost bleeding into it, if that outlet is taken away, you really are left with nothing.

(yall, read the poem "about the PEN conference" by Bukowski).

"The truth is, I am ugly, I am inadequate, I am lost. I am no God." (Fall For Me)

And can I just say, how incredibly heartbreaking it is to hear him talk about himself like that? I have so, so much love and respect for Ves, it's almost ridiculous to think he is only worth the weight of his mask. I would give him a million hugs if I could. Whether or not he still believes that, I hope he one day can look at himself the way we do, and be proud and happy of the amazing human that he is.

I also think that, and this is just me rambling, their sudden explosion to fame must've taken some sort of toll of sorts. It must be SUCH an amazing feeling to see this many people connect and dedicate themselves to something you created, to be able to read between the lines of you thoughts, but it must just equally as scary. Suddenly there's SO many eyes on you, demanding and picking apart every gesture. Viciously clawing at the mask for a glimpse of the fragile soul within. It must not be easy to cope - and this goes to everyone in Sleep Token. They have to deal with so much unfairness, it's disgusting.

Vessel: You. Are. Wrong. In the end, my fractured sense of self was only another piece of fuel for the fire that burns in the eyes of these people before us. They too are pained. They too not know who they truly are. They are each stood alone on a stage of their own. And yet, they are here. United by that sense of never truly belonging. They see something beyond their own bleak horizons. And they reach for it. Together. So let us join now. To reflect their joy and to serve as a conduit for their anguish. To swallow their fear. To Worship.

"So for now let me serve as a living drama of your pain. If we are to be submerged then let us be submerged together." (Fall For Me)

And this is the part that really breaks me. He knows how much we need this, how much we rely on his music, on his words. He fights against his own claims that he has no value - he serves a purpose and that purpose is to serve the audience. Us. To take our struggles, our desires, and make it his own. To basically serve as a sacrifice for our well-being. To suffer, to feel together. To serve as a living drama of OUR pain.

"I will smile through the agony for you".

Because in the end, we're all equally broken. Because that's what the Mask is for, the anonymity, the mystery, the band - for us to "project ourselves" onto him, onto them. They are vessels, servants, worshippers of a god who shelters them; much like how we interact with their music, much like how Vessel thinks his purpose is for.

(and I could expand on this weird worshipper vs worshipee cycle, but i'm tired and i can't ramble on for too long. someone more clever than me feel free to expand)

(a post edit: peep that "fire that burns in the eyes of these people before us" vs "those eyes like fire, I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre" parallel. Vessel sacrificing himself to us, for us. Performing and being Vessel as something he cannot but feel compelled to do.)

From the Room Bellow:

"We are here to silently collect. To project ourselves onto one-another. We are here to remember. We are here to forget."

WHICH BRINGS US TO EUCLID.

No, by now The night belongs to you This bough has broken through I must be someone new

If we are to take the messages as a complement to the album, then this definitely marks the "shift" in Vessel's perspective. He CAN be more, and he NEEDS to be more. To be new.

The night does not belong to god - it belongs to US. To Him. Not just Vessel, but Him. Obviously this is all speculation, but it really feels like he's ready to let go of so many things, and move on. To renew himself, to stand up and fight. To finally "bite back". He doesn't seem to be completely changed, as there are things he still seems to hold on to (just listen to Euclid). But it´s different now. The "vicious cycle is over."

"They see something beyond their own bleak horizons. And they reach for it. Together. So let us join now."

Vessel seems to emphasize the "collectiveness" of what Sleep Token is and represents quite often. So in a way, it´s him saying "We´ve all suffered together, we've all experienced so many things together, so let us reach for something better as one. Let us all become new. You are not alone in this, and neither am I, so hold on to us and be happy."

WHICH IS!!!!! JUST!!!!!

I think this shift represents something important. My guess, like many others have said, is that Something Big is going to happen in/after Wembley. I don't know what, I don't know if it's truly the end of the road for ST, as many speculate, but something is definitely going to happen. Whatever it is, I hope this is a positive change for them, and specially Vessel, and I am just so so grateful to be part of this amazing community of ours.

(if you read the whole thing, I love you and thank you and I'm sorry. My brain was itching real bad and this had to be let out. Don't take this a proper analysis or whatever, this is me squeezing excess water off the old rag that is my mind)

[return-to-ravenbrooks]

Return to Ravenbrooks:

Biography

Entry 3

Name: Maritza Esposito

Date of Birth: 1997

Gender: F

Current Address: 910 Friendly Court

Height: 5'5

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Green

Key features: Shaved head, prosthetic leg, custom-made bat

Role: Defender

Abilities: Boxing, strength, speed

Occupation: [REDACTED]

Status: Fair

Biography:

If I had a nickel for every time a little argument or scuffle emerged between Nicky and anyone else in the newly formed "Ravenbrooks Investigation Club" I could get one of those nice professional metal bats. Maybe then I could practice my swinging instead of just sitting back and kicking my legs on the arm of Trinity's couch while they scuffed.

Usually, it was nothing. Stress boiled into anger and frustration. Usually, some yelling and gritted teeth and nothing more.

But today wasn't a nothing more day. Today things began to get heated again. Trinity brought up going into the old house again. The stress of investigating must've been getting to her like it's getting to all of us because she shoves him, hard. His head hit the wall hard enough that the thud made us wince. I jerked upwards out of my seat. If it'd been a few months ago I wouldn't have. Nicky had a hard time forming a proper fist, let alone throwing a punch. He was a flighter, not a fighter. But now? I don't know if that strength had the real temper behind it to do anything, but if somehow someway this did get violent?

I didn't have to take a full step before something distracted all of us.

Knocking.

The lot of us exchanged glances. Trinity's parents wouldn't have knocked on their own front door, and they, like most of the parents in Ravenbrooks were away at parent-teacher night.

I leaned toward the living room window, peeking out at the front step. I have to close the curtain and open them again, then again. Like somehow that'll make the familiar face change into someone else.

"...Who is it?" Trinity asks finally.

"A boy and-" I stop, having to think my words out carefully, "...The Carrion's kid..." I mumbled. The words are meaningless to her ears, but I can feel Enzo's eyes widen.

Ivan was the one who opened the door at last, and without a word, the two boys rushed in. They looked awful. An all too familiar level of awful. The taller boy, whose head was decorated with strawberry-blonde hair tangled with sticks and leaves, and what I slowly realize is blood. It's smeared across his face and around tear-stained eyes. His name is Damien, I think, but out of the two of them, it's the boy he's gripping tightly I'm focused on.

He looks different without the thick black eyeshadow and old all-black clothes. Instead, the boy's face is covered in bruises, scratches, and blood. His left eye is swollen shut and there's blood dripping from his mouth. He's dressed in shredded brown shorts and a hoodie much too big for his frame. I can only assume it was Damien's.

No one wanted to take the time to explain the Carrion family to Trinity. It felt dumb and unnecessary. What good was 'Hey did you know there's ANOTHER weirdo family in Ravenbrooks?' What help was it to talk about Lucy Yi's funeral, and the boy from the rich old family who stood up in front of a crowd of sobbing adults and talked about how graceful her corpse looked?

Dad interviewed his parents after it happened, or tried to at least. Apparently, they slammed the door in his face, violently. Stopped showing their faces in public. "I'd be a shut-in two if my creepy son ruined my family name" he muttered angrily after the fact. Hard cut-offs from rich snobs were an annoying barricade to reporters everywhere.

There's such a long period of silence. Empty cold silence and Trinity got out a first aid kit. Enzo cleared his throat finally, but didn't speak.

"...What happened to you, Zach?" I looked up from my spot on the couch. I was surprised to see Nicky speaking, his arms crossed anxiously over his chest. There was almost an heir of demand in his question. Like he of all people was owed an answer. I fought the urge to scoff.

"We... I-" Zach's lip trembled, showing off how busted it up was. If it weren't for the nature of the town, I would've thought he was mugged. His trembles turned into violent sobs again. Damien, who was seemingly deep in thought until now, was snapped into reality by this.

"...Can we trust you guys not to tell anyone?" Damien asked. We all exchanged glances suspiciously, and worriedly, then nodded. He took a long breath. "We were having a sleepover at my house." He said quietly, chewing his lip like he was preparing his words. "I- I don't know if my parents put something in our food or what, but for some reason, we were feeling really tired before the sun had even set, so we went to bed. By some miracle I woke up maybe an hour later and- he was gone... so was my parent's car."

He sat there for a minute like that was enough explanation for their busted-up state.

"...and then?" I prodded. His eyes snapped to me, blinking and chewing his lips in the unsure thinking way again.

"Oh- uh... right. Well-... listen. You- you guys really can't tell anyone about this. Please." He pled.

"We won't," Trinity promised again, this time aloud. She ripped the end of the bandage on his arm, tying it off.

"Well- I'd been getting suspicious of my parents, they always get weird and clingy when Zach visits, and other times they'll disappear for the whole night- so- so I put a tracker on their car." He inhaled after the reveal. Silence again. "...and- I followed the car to the old weather station."

Even breathing seemed to stop in silence as he described the scene to us, the weird tunnel, and the people in robes, two of whom he said he recognized as his parents. Who else could've brought Zach there?

"...what were they doing?" Trinity asked nervously.

"I don't know for sure, something about attempting to 'repeat the steps'. All I know is the group went from quiet and mysterious to- really violent." Zach began to sob again.

"A pit..." he whispered between large tears that matched his wide blue-grey eyes. "Th-they wanted to push me into a pit..."

"I grabbed whatever I could get my hands on around me, I think it was a metal rod from some piece of old machinery. I swung it at their heads. Then there was this- flash of blinding light and- I don't remember much of what happened next..." he admitted. "All I remember is that as soon as I could reach him I grabbed Zach's hand and ran through the forest. We didn't stop to breathe until we saw your house." He looked at Trinity. "You guys are the ones investigating 'whatever evil crap this town is built on' after all, aren't you?" Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Nicky's shoulders raise awkwardly as he rubbed his arm.

The last time I checked, helping the hippy kid whose parents are, apparently, attempted child murderers and the creepy boy whose dad gives money to crows wasn't in the club's mission statement. But there was this spark in Trinity's eyes. It reminded me of the spark she'd gotten months ago, standing infront of Peterson's house in the middle of the night.

"it's us, or it's nobody."

[chaosnojutsu]

Who *Should* Have Died From The Konoha ~12 Instead Of The One Who Did

rules:

we’re assuming they die under the same circumstances as the other guy

each one listed would have a complete storyline and their death would further the immediate plot as well as the overall narrative

i’m not “just picking characters i don’t like”

i do not condone killing characters for the sake of shock value but am considering shock as a legitimate tool in generating impact of a character’s death

miss me with “[redacted]’s death was a tragic result of the shinobi system” because no it was not. if that were true you could sub out [redacted] for any other child soldier and get the exact same impact. we know exactly why they were chosen and it’s got an (insufficient) explanation irl and in-universe.

#3. Sai

Motivation: Friendship

First of all, imagine the shock value from killing one of THE Team Kakashi members.

Cool. Now imagine Naruto’s shock at Sai sacrificing himself for him.

Sai overanalyzes normal human interaction to the point of not understanding it. He reads books about how to befriend people. He still doesn’t understand it all the time but friendship is coming more naturally to him these days. What he does understand is that Naruto is the only chance of winning this war, and he’s down, and the enemy is aiming for him, and Hinata is trying to stop them but she’s on the ground, the spears are in the air and so is Sai, and Naruto is his friend.

He doesn’t need to think about it much deeper than that.

Now imagine Sasuke “What Does ‘Friend’ Mean To You” Uchiha witnessing this, witnessing Naruto’s reaction, and the further effects this may have on his character. After all, Sai was his replacement. If Naruto feels this strongly about losing someone who was decidedly not him but his friend and teammate nevertheless then… maybe.

#2. Rock Lee

Motivation: Youth

Regardless of *how* this one plays out, no one wants to watch the determined, precious, comedic relief die; no one who’s watched this far into the show wants Rock Lee specifically to die. Huge impact already. But we can make it super duper sad because he deserves a memorable death. I see it going one of two ways.

One: Hinata doesn’t even have the time to try to shield Naruto because Rock Lee is faster. Ten-Tails barely launches the attack and Lee’s already taken/attempted to counter the hit. Perhaps this is his eight gates moment. Similar to Sai, Rock Lee would cite the power of friendship in his dramatic death speech, but he also was just… doing his duty. Truly, if you’re in the “Neji was just another tragic child soldier” camp, Rock Lee is the prime example of what I mean when I say you could sub in any child soldier, which I know sounds paradoxical but stay with me. Rock Lee’s entire personality is training harder than anyone else to benefit a system that will ultimately result in his death. If you want to make a point about child soldiers and needless lives lost, Rock Lee is the one to kill.

Two: Rock Lee doesn’t shield Hinata. He shields Neji. But not necessarily on purpose. The scene plays out exactly as written up to the moment Neji activates his byakugan, and the next frame isn’t him falling to the ground, it’s Rock Lee. The usually-somewhat-reserved Neji is devastated, probably in tears, demanding to know why he would do something like this. Rock Lee coughs up a bit of blood. “I was faster than you.” Smile. “I finally beat you…” Serene eyes fall shut. “…rival.”

And now imagine Naruto’s reaction to losing Bushy Brow. Imagine him watching Gai be brought to his knees by a blow that didn’t physically touch him. Imagine Madara incorrectly perceiving that. The implications. The foreshadowing.

#1. Shino

Motivation: Legacy

I’m gonna be real, the writers were never gonna kill off Rock Lee like that, which is the biggest reason Shino has taken the crown as Most Worthy Of A Tragic Death in my book.

This dude has a connection to both Naruto and Hinata (making him equally as good a sacrifice as Neji if that’s the canon criteria). However, unlike most other (male) characters, Shino isn’t shown to have a particularly close friendship with Naruto. The one recurring joke around Shino is that he’s so irrelevant even Naruto can’t remember his name.

But he is good friends with Hinata. And he knows she’ll spend the rest of her life miserable if Naruto dies, and that if she dies right now she will never have gotten her life’s greatest wish.

So Shino goes out in a blaze of glory, and we’ll probably insert something about how Naruto has somehow secretly inspired him all along— or maybe something cynical about how he always wanted to be included by Naruto but never was unless Kiba or Hinata were around, so he’s sacrificed himself to maintain the livelihood of everyone else while not “losing” that friendship himself— and we of course get the touching moment with Hinata (oh just imagine the drama if Shino lay dying and told Hinata “Why did I protect you? It’s simple. The reason is… for the same reason you protected him.” and we find out that the huge secret crush of the show was not Hinata toward anyone, but Shino toward Hinata, never confessing because he knew it would be futile).

Good luck forgetting his name now, Naruto. Now no one will ever forget about Shino Aburame.

[adventuringblind]

Drive with you Forever

Chapter Twelve: New Beginnings

Max Verstappen x Charles Leclerc x Lando Norris x Reader x Oscar Piastri (I added a fifth because why the hell not)

Chapter summary: reader is clueless, Oscar recounts his time with alpine, Daniel is still a menace, someone is kidnapped… again

Warnings: talks of abuse, toxic workplace, blood, gore, kidnapping, drugging, sexual innuendo, no actual depiction of smut but it’s talked about and alluded to what their doing, dom/sub themes for a second, passing out, panic attacks, alcohol consumption

Notes: this is a long chapter and I did not intend for it to get as dark as it did but like… I swear it just happens. Also I apologize to the Alpine fans I needed them to be the bad guy.

Previous <-

Masterlist

Life is filled with highs and lows. Vast new experiences to explore with those you love.

Something she never thought was an option for Seb came and rescued her when she was fifteen. Now it’s something she experiences almost daily.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket. Their group chat had been going nonstop for the last hour. Everyone stuck waiting for interviews and other media duties.

Except for her. She was lucky enough to be curled of in a chair with a tablet, data rolling across her screen.

Lan: *image*

Lan: I made Oscar blush again

Maxy: you’re going to kill him if you keep going like this

Charlie: what did you do this time?

Lan: this time was an accident! All I did was bring up y/n!

Y/N: me? Why would I make him blush.

Charlie: sometimes I know I’m oblivious, but this is ridiculous

Lan: the poor kid is crushing HARD

Y/N: he’s so sweet

Y/N: he brought me water while we were in Miami with a cute note attached

Y/N: you three should take notes

Maxy: do you need a reminder of why you love us so much?

Y/N: previous statement redacted

Lan: no! Don’t redact! It could’ve been fun!

Charlie: you’re just tired of being the only one who gets in trouble

Lan: am not!

Lando looks at the Australian next to him. “Looks like we’re going to have to try something else.”

“Listen, I appreciate the effort, but have you considered your girlfriend doesn’t like me back?” Oscar grimaces at his own sentence. The concept not new. He’s been around long enough to understand. But it sounds weird coming out of his mouth.

“Well she almost got herself in trouble talking about you. I’d take that as a sign.”

“What about the other two?”

“Listen mate, they know I like you- well y/n does because I tell her more then everyone else. And this whole thing wasn’t simple at the start.”

“What do you mean?”

Lando thinks back on the memories of the interesting dynamic they had at first. “Apparently when two became three, it took ages for Charles to figure things out. He wasn’t sure how to act around Max. So they determined maybe he’d just do more with y/n. An agreement they were all comfortable with. Until the first time they did the devils tango.” Lando wiggles his eyebrows and the Australian flushes again.

“What about you then? Was it easy for you?”

“Absolutely not.” Lando laughs about it now but at the time he was stressed. “I lived with them during Covid. I had fallen head over heals for y/n, but I thought since I wasn’t there yet with the other two that it wouldn’t work.”

“Obviously you were wrong.”

“It took time but I figured it out. Them also. It’s not like this happened overnight.”

Lando looks at the boy next to him. He’d admittedly been crushing on him since the start of the year. His calm demeanor a stark contrast to his own. It was… refreshing, in a way.

Oscar also liked him, which helped, and the female he was currently trying to win over also does. The hard part is she hasn’t figured it out, and the red and blue guard dogs were hesitant to let him get close. Which sucks in its own way because who the hell wouldn’t be crushing on Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc.

~

The McLaren garage is one of her favorite places to be. They always had the best snacks here. She often found herself sneaking into Lando's room just to raid his stash.

She opens the door to his room and is met with Lando standing above Charles and Max.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"No, I'm attempting to explain my predicament."

She looks between the three. The Monegasque and Dutch just look completely unfazed.

"Is this a hard on type of predicament? Or an Oscar predicament?"

"You knew?" Max and Charles both yell at the same time.

"Did you forget I can see the future? I just wanted to see how long it would take without me."

"Lando, we're glad you found someone, but we hardly know the guy."

It's not that they don't like him, but after everything they've been together, it can be hard to trust new people. Especially when their female partner is straight from a movie.

"Can we invite him over then? For dinner or something?"

Max and Charles relent. The Brit smiling like an idiot when they say yes.

~

Oscar knocks on the door to the hotel room. Nervous is not how he would describe his feelings. More like petrified.

Lando is the one who greets him. His signature goofy smile on his face. He basically bounds in to the room, excited to welcome Oscar into their home away from home.

The female is nowhere in sight, and Max and Charles are sitting at opposite ends of the small table with their arms crossed.

"Don't let them intimidate they're just a but... protective." Lando seems to shrug them off like no big deal, but Oscar is shaking out of his clothes (figuratively).

"Lan, last time we invited someone in it didn't end well." Reminds Max in a tone that makes Lando almost halt to attention. Which is weird because as far as Oscar knows, the Brit listens to no one.

"That was different."

Charles is shaking his head in disbelief. Whatever happened last time must have been bad. He definitely dosen't want to make them uncomfortable with this. "I can go if this is uncomfortable. I promise I'm not meaning to start drama or anything." Oscar manages to slip the words past his lips, but the unease doesn't go unnoticed.

"It's not that. I'd just rather bit see Lan have a breakdown and y/n unconscious like that again." Explains Max.

Okay, so whatever happened was bad. Oscar now has no idea what to do and had thrown every plan he had out the window.

Thankfully, he's saved by the bell as the fourth part of the quartet comes through the door. "Sorry, I ran into Seb, and he said his coffee pot in his room isn't working, so I offered to go fox it, and -" She abruptly stops her rant and stares at Oscar for a second. "Hello, Oscar." She greets warmly.

The takeout boxes she'd been holding now neatly set along the table. Lando now moving to sit at the table and gesturing for Oscar to sit with them. He does so hesitantly. Taking a spot between the female and the Brit.

"Are you going over tonight?"

"If I have time, yes, or I'll just go early in the morning."

"Seb seems more like a tea guy. Are we sure that he's not been possessed?"

"As his child, I can assure you he drinks coffee more then you might think."

Oscar listens to how the conversa flows so easily between them. He feels awkward and out of place. They fit so well together. Even if they let him in, how's he going to fit? What if he ruins it?

It takes him a minute to realize they are all looking at him. Lando is attempting to get his attention. "Hello? Earth to Oscar?"

"Sorry, I zoned out for a minute."

"Oh, I just asked how you're feeling with McLaren after the whole alpine mess. We don't have to talk about it, though." The female smiles warmly at him again. Maybe she pulled them all in with that smile because he's certainly struggling to not let it consume his thoughts.

"No, it's fine. Like I said, my head just spaced. I definitely like McLaren better if I'm being honest."

"Bet it's because of your amazing teamate." Lando send him a suggestive wink.

"Well, yes, but Alpine did some things I'm not proud of sharing...." He trails. His mind whirled about what he's saying. He can't just dump his trauma on them!

"What do you mean by that?" Probes Charles. It's not mean or prying. It's gentle and caring. There's a concern in his eyes that he's not seen someone have when he brings up the Alpine situation.

"Being a third driver sucks and it feels mostly like assistant work at times." He sucks in a breath through his teeth. Lando had moved his hand over the top of his, and he couldn't help but feel thankful for the contact. "I was definitely used and overworked before the contract stuff, but it got so much worse after."

The female is looking tentatively between her counterparts. Like asking permission for something.

"It's up to you if you tell him, but please don't scare the poor kid like we did Lando." Chuckles, Max. It's almost unerving to hear such things

"Oscar-" starts the girl as she fumbles around for her words. "There are things I can do, aren't you exactly... normal." She looks around the table for support, and the three boys nod her on with encouragement. She gently grabs Oscar's hand and sets it on the table face up. "If you'll allow me, I can see those memories without you having to talk about them."

He's skeptical, to say the least, but the way the other three are looking at her makes him think she's not lying. "Sure." He shrugs. The curious side of him winning out.

She sets her palm against his. Her skin is so hot it almost burns him. He can feel the back of his brain tickling, and then he loses focus of the present moment.

He's at the Alpine Headquarters. But he's watching himself stride into the room instead if doing it. He's watching his own memories.

"Kinda cool isn't it?"

"Wha?- how?-"

"I can explain more later, but for now, you're in control of what we see."

"This is a week after I signed." He almost wants to run away as he sees himself aproach his team principle and other various staff.

He listens as he gets berated and made to feel selfish. Threats of him always being in debt to the team make him shiver.

Then, the scene changes. The colors and scenery morphs before his eyes. He knows exactly what this is.

The woman beside him offers him her hand, which he gratefully takes.

"We can stop at any point." She reminds him gently. But this is easier. Showing her instead of talking makes it so she can see without him having to listen to his voice crack every thirty seconds.

It's cold outside, the November air hitting his face. His superiors are yelling at him again, just outside the paddock entrance.

He remembers the feeling of holding back tears well. The lump in his throat, trying to break free as he fights it back.

The hand that comes down on his cheek still surprises him. Even at twenty-one it hurt when he felt like it shouldn't. This had been the routine for awhile now. They blame him for the teams mishaps since he created so much drama.

He was so fed up at this point that he just let it continue like it had been since he confirmed that he signed with McLaren.

He was nothing more than a toll before, and he was still one now. He hated every minute of it.

Then nothing.

He's pulled abruptly from the scene like he's awaking from a dream. He wakes up with an oddly comforting sensation running through his body. His hand still entwined with the females.

But she's not awake, and his brain still feels like it's prickling.

He disconnects himself from her, alerting the other three boys that he's once again conscious.

"How'd it go?" Asks Lando, his eyebrows quirked with curiosity.

"If therapy was like that, I think the world would be a better place. Like... I feel oddly warm, and my body feels amazing. Not like- in a weird way."

Charles halts all movement. "You mean you feel good? Like someone took all the ailments your body might have had and made them go away?"

"Uh yeah- exactly that. How do you know?" Then Charles is bolting to get Max, who had just walked into a different part of the room.

Lando hands Oscar a tissue. "For your nose." he hadn't even realized the his nose was bleeding.

Then Lando gently moves back the girl's body. Carefully making her head sit upright. "Oh god." Oscar breathes as he catches a glimpse of her.

"Don't worry, she'll be alright. This is a newer thing to her so she's still testing the limits."

"You mean this has happened before?!" Oscar won't deny the panic rising in his chest. The girls eyes are stuck in the back of her head, bloody tears roll down her cheeks. The same crimson color pooling out of her ears and nose. Her forehead is slick with sweat dampening her hair.

Did he kill her?

"Yeah, in the past more. It's better now because she can find the limits. But again, this is new."

Max and Charles return with rags. Then they move her to their bed and get to work cleaning her up. Lando moves to her side and starts speaking to her, and after about ten minutes, Oscar feels the prickly sensation in his head vanish.

Was she stuck in his head?

Her eyes roll back and close completely. Her chest now heaving in a steady pattern. Oscar releases a breath he didn't know he was holding at the sight.

Charles offers him a reassuring smile. "She must trust you."

"Why me? What makes you say that?"

"Because you're now a part of the 'I know y/n is a superhero club.'" The comment sends the three into a fit of laughter. It makes Oscar able to relax.

Then they just talk while waiting for her to wake up. Staying nervous in case something happened.

They explained everything to him. Her vulnerability with her powers and what they'd been through in Abu Dhabi.

No wonder they're so protective.

As they talked, he realized more about their dynamic. He doesn't have to fit into the puzzle in some specific way. He just needs to be himself and communicate with everyone.

When the girl finally opens her eyes, she looks for him immediately. A warm smile appears on her face when she finds him.

Then he explained what happened with Alpine. The entire reason she'd gone into his head was so he didn't have to talk about it. Yet, the comforting and supportive atmosphere made it easy.

It was late, and they offered to let him stay. He accepted the couch at first before Charles and Lando were just shaking their heads no.

"Listen, they roped us in with the sleep. I swear to you, it seals the deal." Lando winks, and he can't retell if it's suggestive or not.

And he's right. Somehow, wearing a mixture of comfy clothes provided by them and laying peacefully in bed, enjoying each other's presence makes him wake up feeling the best he's ever felt.

"I think I'm sold if you are."

~

The funny thing about Max's first championship title back in 2021 is that they tried to come out, and people collectively said no. Deeming the moments as a burst of energy from Max and that the four are 'best friends.' Which is ridicoulus considering the fact they've been caught kissing each other on different occasions after that.

Some got it, some didn't understand it, and others decided to slander them for it.

The four blamed the PR teams for doing their job too well. It wasn't bad, it just makes things difficult from time to time.

This is one of those occasions.

They aren't saying anything about Oscar yet. Mainly because people are going to say what they want. Oscar is still a rookie, and he could get slammed if people found out. Claiming it as an attempt to get a better spot in the sport.

So it was back to hiding in the small motor home rooms. Unless it's Max, whose room is actually a decent size. This is why all five have ended up here; an hour before the race and taking a minute to get ready. Unless you're the female who is still actively reading through data.

'Mon amour, you can spend two minutes away from your work." Sighs the Monegasque.

She just shakes her head. Almost looking like she's ignoring him.

Charles turns to Max, and the Dutch nods his head sending him a wink. Lando is practically shaking in his spot next to Oscar, and the Australian has no clue why. He just observes what's happening with an open kind, as he's done with everything the last month.

"Sounds like someone isn't listening." Smirks Charles. The female body halts movement at his words. She hastily scrambles to her knees in front of him and hands him her work tablet.

"'mm sorry." She mumbles.

Oscar gets it now. He'd watched them a few times and had participated in a few scenes. Needless to say it was the best sex he'd ever had and doesn't think he could go back.

But this is different. Normally, she doesn't need to apologize because she does everything right. She looks so disappointed in herself as she stares at the floor. They all knew work had taken its toll on her this week. Sergio is struggling to keep up with Max, which meant she had to help figure out where the problem is. She'd had little sleep trying to figure it out and was still working on it even before the race.

Charles bends down to her level. "It's okay Chéri. We’ve just know how stressed you've been and want you to take a break. So how about this: do you want to spend the next hour helping the four of us get ready?"

The way her eyes light up has all four of them melting. It takes approximately fifteen minutes for everyone's clothes to be discarded in a pile.

Limbs are sprawled everywhere, and everyone is enjoying it. Until a certain male comes to the door.

Daniel had a lack of understanding for boundaries. Which means he just opens door without knocking. Unless it’s locked, which is currently not the case.

“Hey Max, Christ-“

Everyone freezes. Daniel is staring like a deer caught in headlights, Max is yelling at him to get out, Charles is trying to shield the females body from view and Lando has Oscar wrapped protectively in the corner.

It not like they were all completely naked, aside from Charles and the girl now having his shirt pulled over her body, but the fact that Daniel won’t close the door is getting frustrating.

Finally, Daniel turns and walks away. Max determining he will be going through the Australians camera roll later today and have another talk about boundaries.

“Everyone okay?” A chorus of yes’ follow Max’s question.

“Doe he do that often?” Pipes Oscar, his head peaking around the corner.

“You have no idea.”

~

Lewis Hamilton notices things. He has a keen eye for detail. So despite their best efforts, he knew Oscar had joined in to make the quartet now a quintet.

It’s ridiculous, he thinks, that they can fight it out on the track and still go home to each other at the end of the night.

That’s what led him to this phone call. “I swear to you Seb, she’s collecting them.”

“And I swear if that’s anything less then a compliment I’ll force a Redbull can down your throat.”

“No need to get violent, I just don’t get how they manage. Aren’t you worried?”

“No.” The deadpan in his voice makes Lewis ishiver with the fear of an angry protective Seb. “For some reason I think it was meant to be.”

“And if one of them hurts her?”

“Then there are three others to make sure she knows she’s still loved.”

~

Oscar had caught on quickly to the less typical rules of the house. Like how Charles is not allowed anywhere near the kitchen and the unspoken shower schedule.

He’d found his place with them and now feels as though they are in step with each other. The white board on the wall by the door is littered with notes and reminders to keep communication flowing.

Tonight, however, is interesting because it’s just him and her. The other three having gone out to a club on their off weekend. The other two opting to stay home and chill.

Oscar grabs out their favorite snacks then climbs back into bed with her. He’d felt strongly for her after she was in his head. Something the other four have felt as well. This invisible rope pulling them to each other. Like she has bonded them by more then something as simple as love.

“Did you pick out something to watch?”

“Yep! I wish the boys would let us watch true crime when they’re home.” She curls herself into Oscar and hits play.

“They are just a little paranoid sometimes.” He kisses the top of her head. Another unspoken rule of the house: physical contact is the best way to communicate. Its something he’s used to already, three sisters who’s have similar love languages can teach you a lot.

“I don’t see why they would be. I can stop any intruder with my mind powers.” She snickers as herself.

~

The three boys stumble up to their apartment. All of them having to much to drink but are still able to walk- with the support of the wall, of course.

They fall through the door, kick off their shoes and fall into bed. The three so disoriented themselves that they didn’t see the disarray of the apartment on their way in.

Sleep taking over so quickly that they couldn’t see the hastily scribbled note peaking out from under the lamp.

~

The light from the room sears into Oscars eyes as he tries to wake himself up. His head is pounding and the white walls of the room are not helping.

Where is he?

He sits himself up in the stiff bed. His surroundings are entirely unfamiliar. It’s a cell of some sort. The mirror in the middle of the wall can tell him that much. Most likely somone is watching him from the other side.

But why?

They went to bed last night fine. The three were still at the club while the other two were curled up in bed. There was a knock at the door, loud enough to wake both of them. They assumed is was their, most likely, drunken partners.

Instead she had been greeted by the familiar face of the man who ran away during the Abu Dhabi incident. Her reaction time was much better then his. Oscar opened the door and was of the floor seconds later. A large needle now sticking out of his partners arm.

Yet she didn’t fall.

Most likely it was the same drug used in her before. She’d told Oscar about when her father got to her at a race. How he’d managed to knock her out in a similar way.

She’d protected him from the drug and now she needed to get them both away safely.

The apartment was in shambles when they’d finally sedated him also. The first guy having brought back-up with him. She could have managed one, but six made it difficult and she took a beating.

Not like Oscar got out unscathed either. He could feel where his ribs are most likely cracked and the bruises on his skin hurt when he puts any sort of pressure on them. There’s a few lines of dried blood from cuts and his lip is split from whoever punched him in the face.

He’d managed to scribble out a note while they were focused in her. He knew he wasn’t winning this and the phone is risky since it could take to long. He settled for a note he prayed they would see. Then they came after him.

Where the hell is he and where the hell is she?

She’s not here with him. The panic settling into his bones as he realizes that she’s not here with him.

His head is pulsing. His vision is starting to swim. He can’t even get a word out as sleep takes hold of him again.

~

Charles wakes up first. He smiles when he sees Lando and Max still snoring, assuming the other two who probably got decent sleep are up and about.

The room is an absolute mess. It looks like they threw their own party.

Nope, definitely not. Neither of them really like parties. Maybe they decided to have their own fun last night. If that’s the case then he’s already making plans for later.

He ventures to the kitchen for water. Something unnerving settling over him as he sees it’s not just their room, but the whole flat. Furniture has been flipped, shelves are knocked over, glass is broken, and the blood spatters in the floor make him want to vomit.

“Max!” He yells. His body paralyzed from the sight. “Max! Lando! Please you need to see this!”

The other two come around the corner disoriented. They have a similar reaction to the monegasque.

Max quickly gets his head straight and begins searching the house for any sign of their younger lovers.

Nothing.

Aside from a hastily scribbled note shoved under the lamp.

Three words and a name: attacked, drugged, help, Oscar.

Max feels his chest ready to explode. How could he have let this happen again? It makes no sense. They were supposed to be safe here. They were supposed to be able to move in and live without fear.

He supposes fate works in cruel ways.

~

The security footage was less then helpful. The authorities invaded everyone’s personal space. Seb is in a plane to Monaco but wouldn’t be here til later. And ti top it all off, the front security person lay lifeless in the security office.

It couldn’t get any worse and Lando is forced to watch it all. Watching his lovers, one of them also his teammate, get dragged down the fire escape stairs that run through the building was not in his bucket list.

So he sits and he stares and he breaths. His mind trying to explain the situation to him over and over agin.

The authorities had been taking them in for questioning. He’d gotten done first. The officer said he should get some water. He obviously looks distressed.

Maybe he deserves to feel like he can’t breath. Maybe that’s how they felt when they realized what was happening.

A figure slumps themselves down next to him.

Max.

“Is this our fault?” He mumbles out.

Max pulls Land into him. “My mind wants to think so, but I know it’s not.”

“How do you know?” Lando looks up at Max. The Dutch is staring off into the distance, pondering how to put it into words.

“Even if we were here and sober when it happened, they would have gotten us too. Her visions only provide so much information at given times and even though we’re fit and can surely hit hard, they are combat trained.”

“So you’re saying we wouldn’t have made a difference.” Lando’s voice cracks at the suggestion.

“No, not at all what I’m saying. We would have had a better chance but things have played out this way. Now we have to get them back because we’re the only ones who can.” Max explains. His hands find Lando’s hair and comfortingly plays with his curls. “We’ll find them Lan, I promise.”

Both if them sit in silence for a few moments before they are interrupted by angry strings of French.

“I’ve lost my language! Nobody understands my French, my English, my Italian!” Shouts the frustrated monegasque. A less then happy officer just shakes their head in defeat.

“What do you reckon he’s on about?”

“Probably how everyone has been asking that same question.”

~

Oscar is pulled from his restless slumber by a new figure. A familiar face.

y/n.

He knows this is probably a dream. He only has so much time to bask in her warmth before he wakes up for real.

“Oscar please wake up. We need to go.” There’s a frantic urgency in her voice. She shaking his shoulders.

“Are you real?” Whatever they’d been dosing him with to keep him sedated after he tried to break the mirror had caused him to hallucinate a few times. They’d wake him up at set times to eat and use the bathroom, then would put him back to sleep. His arms now have small circular outlines from the constant jab on needles.

She cuts his face with her hands. “I’m real and can get us out but we don’t have much time.”

Oscar shoots himself out of bed. A discarded needle on the floor and the sore spot on his arm tells him she figured out how to wake him up from his unwanted slumber.

He takes a minute to asses her. She’s in new clothes. Well- not new, just different. A pair of basketball shirts and a t-shirt four sizes to big with holes taking up more then the fabric.

She bleeding in multiple places and it looks like she’s struggling to breathe. There is so much to process about everything wrong with the picture. She looks absolutely wrecked. But then again, maybe he doesn’t look that much better.

His ribs don’t hurt as he stands. Actually, he feels shockingly good and- “please tell me you didn’t heal me.”

She sets her eyes in the floor and takes his hand in hers.

He’s got shoes on and she doesn’t, he notes.

It feels oddly empty and he wonders where they are. It looks like some sort of old bunker. It’s dark and musty as he sets foot outside the door.

She puts him along with her. The girls head scanning everything for potential threats. He’d never seen her so focused.

There’s heavy footsteps echoing through the corridors. Shouts can be heard from down the hall. The girl leading him is getting more unstable by the second. He can see her body swaying.

He notices the blood spatters on the walls but doesn’t say anything about it. He just lets her guide him out, his head still foggy from everything.

Her steps get slower and his body reacts quicker then hers. She doesn’t touch the floor as Oscar scoops her into his arms.

He knows they can’t stay here. It’s absolutely freezing, both of them are shivering. He treks with her a while longer. Relief hits him as he finds a secluded corner.

He just needs to rest a minute. Why’s it so cold in here? He knows his body is exhausted. It’s not going to let him continue. It’s not like a race where he can keep the adrenaline flowing.

He holds the girl close to him. Her lips are trembling and blue.

Just a minute, he tells himself, then he’ll will them both out of here.

~

Search party’s became their best bet.

They’d ruled out them leaving the country. Monaco is a small place so it would be hard for someone to slip away unnoticed. Last time she was taken, someone caught them with her but didn’t know she was being kidnapped. They came forward with their information.

Similarly, someone said they recognized Oscar in the back of a car asleep.

Amateurs.

Sebastian has been searching for them day and night. Hanna and the kids have moved themselves to Monaco for the time being.

Two weeks.

The other three had to reluctantly go back to racing. It was only after lengthy discussion with their teams that they did. Lando was suffering from missing a teammate and now lover.

Oscars family had also been involved. They didn’t understand what was happening. So many questions that Seb wanted to answer but couldn’t for his own daughters safety.

He knew they would be okay. If only he could find them.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. It’s close to midnight and the caller ID is unknown. He answered expecting the worst but hoping for the best.

“Dad.” It didn’t matter how static and broken the word was, he knew it was her.

“Y/N? Where are you love?” He wanted to ask if she was okay but that had to come later. After he finds her.

A static group of numbers is mumbled through. He grabs an writing utensil and scratches it down in the nearest surface. Disregard for their hotel the furthest thing from his mind.

Her heavy breathing fill his ears. “I’m gonna come get you, okay?”

She’s panting and he can hear her moving. Voices in the background speaking English. He can hear every second of her screams getting quieter as they drag her away from him.

~

Lando nearly dropped his phone.

He’d done a race without Oscar and it was the worst thing he’d ever done in his career.

He’d lost lovers for a second time in the span of two years.

Now Seb is saying he knows where they are.

It’s only Thursday meaning they can fly back. There is still time. But he needed to get to Charles and Max who reluctantly are in a press conference. Where most likely answering questions about the missing female and Australian.

Lando runs. He’s never run so fast but his legs a caring him at top speeds.

He bursts through the door. Everyone stares at him and he freezes for a moment before he remembers why he’s here.

“They found them.”

~

Charles had never been so cold in his life. These tunnels they’re meandering around in seem neverending.

The area had hopefully been cleared of everyone who wanted to hurt them and now they were able to join the search parties.

Seb and Hanna had gone a different direction then the three boys. Hopefully they would be able to cover more ground this way. Oscars parents would be here when they could. They’d flown back to Australia to take care of some things with his sisters and they would all be flying back together.

Max sent his jet for them so they didn’t have to wait on a flight.

Charles looks between his the Dutch and Brit. They’d had little sleep the last couple of weeks. Angry at the world for what it’s putting them through.

They’d been staying in the same hotel as Seb in case something happened. Their apartment is still trashed and it’s not like it’s safe there anymore anyway.

“Oscar! Y/N!” Lando is losing his voice from all the yelling. Charles could hear the lump in his throat that wanted to be let out so bad.

Charles shines his flashlight around looking for any sort of corridor they may be down. It’s dirty, the floors are wet, and in his head this is the sort of place to be haunted.

He notices a a gap in the wall. If he wasn’t looking so hard he’d have definitely missed it. He peaks his head around and shine his light around. His heart nearly bursting at the sight of two familiar figures.

“I found them!”

Charles steps through the gap and inches closer, praying they aren’t dead.

The echo of the footsteps wakes Oscar, his hands shielding his face from the light.

Charles is careful about approaching. He notices the way the Australian is scrambling to move them farther away. “Stay away!” His voice is weak and scratchy.

Lando and Max slide around the corner.

“Oscar it’s me, it’s Lando.” The Brit wastes no time sliding to his knees in front of them. The disoriented state of Oscar only making him more panicked and he thrashes, doing his best to keep the still unconscious girl behind him.

Lando gently holds his face. Almost forcing the younger to look at his face. Oscars breathing evens as he meets Lando’s eyes.

Then he breaks. The cracked wails bouncing of the wall.

Lando looks at Charles and Max. “He’s freezing.” They’re all shrugging off their coats and bundling up the two.

Then their walking out of that place.

The five of them.

~

Next ->

Tags: @styles-sunflower @purplephantomwolf @boiohboii @reblog-princess-blog @jjsprobablywrong @jayda12 @faithm120601 @eugene-emt-roe @lpab @yaaadii @80sloverry @spongebeck3101 @eviethetheatrefreak @chanshintien @vellicora

[theloganator101]

The Great BNHA Review: Potential

So I'm actually gonna be splitting this into four parts and then one more wrapping up how I feel about the ending and the overall series. The topics I'm going to talk about are the following.

The potential the characters had and how Hori squandered them.

The world they live in and how things are done in society, only for nothing to really change in the end and for things to not make sense.

The morals and messages it tries to convey.

And then (REDACTED).

Anyways, let's get going with Potential.

With a cast of characters as interesting looking as they were and the glimpses of personality we saw, like Jiro thinking she has to choose between being a hero or a musician, or Shoji and mutant discrimination. You would think that with how interesting the class looks, that they would get some role in the story or their own respective arcs to expand on their characters.

Except that's not what happened.

The main focus most of the time either falls on Izuku, Bakugou, Shoto, and sometimes Ochako. So that's four out of twenty students that gets the spotlight while everyone else is regulated to minor characters who are only brought in to fights.

Which is honestly kind of disappointing because many of them look to have stories waiting to be told and can be good characters! Because I wanna learn more about Sero, I wanna learn more about Hagakure, I wanna learn more about Shoji. But now that the manga's over, that's not gonna be possible.

This is especially terrible since in the final war arc half of the fight is just fucking flashbacks to expand on some of the characters fighting when it should've been something covered earlier in the manga instead of hyping Bakugou up. It all just feels too little too late and makes things cluttered and unorganized.

And then we have the villains.

They were kind of cool when they got introduced and had a lot of potential to challenge the heroes. To really make them open their eyes to how flawed their society is and why it needs to change. They could each have an upbringing that brought them to where they are now and why they wanna join to make a difference. They could be some compelling and intriguing antagonists for the heroes to face.

... Except we don't get any of that.

What really hurts the villains in this series is how Hori tends to flip flop between making them sympathetic and their heroic counterparts wanting to save them, and making them so cartoonishly evil that the villains from the POWERPUFF GIRLS comes off as more compelling compared to them!

And it's like... pick one or the other Hori! Either they're victims of society or they're just irredeemable! And what sucks the most about this is that they HAD something going on! They could've rise from losing AFO and promise to make a change for the better! The My Villain Academia part shows how this was possible!

But instead they ended not in a bang... but a whimper. they all pretty much died in the end or confirmed to the very society that hurt them so what was the point of trying to redeeming them?

Then finally... we have the main character himself. Izuku Midoriya.

Oh how Hori utterly failed you...

You started off so promising in the first two episodes, You could've been a quirkless hero to make the message of anyone can be a hero really have an impact. You could've rose from your pain and suffering and show everyone what you can really do.

But sadly that's not what happened. You were given a quirk that hurts you, nobody really helps you with it, you're forced to work with your bully and never grow out of the mindset that he's awesome, every adult you associate with has failed you in some way, you're forced to distance yourself from your friends so Hori can have his Cash Cow Triplets, you're never really challenged in any unique way other than "just punch your problems away", and ultimate... you just became a watered down version of what you started off as with no introspection whatsoever.

I have never seen a character so stagnate in their arc and development in such a series before, only beaten recently by Vaggie in terms of just never growing or learning anything else.

Izuku really deserves to be in a story with an author that can utilize his potential to the fullest and give him the love and attention he deserves, because this series and Hori just wasn't it.

As for the Pro Heroes, they really were nothing in the end. All they can summed up as them just saying.

"Our society is bad, it's up to the next generation to make things better in the future. We need these teenagers to fight in wars because only they stand a chance compared to us bumbling adults!"

That's all that I get from them.

Stay tuned for next post where we'll look into society and how it's flawed, and what the characters do to change (not really) any of it.

[pimento-playing-hopscotch]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you for the tag, @carlos-in-glasses @heartstringsduet @nancygillianmvp @anewkindofme @sznofthesticks @paperstorm @thisbuildinghasfeelings 💝

This is from the next chapter of my TK and Sophie fic (which for my friends reading it, heads up, the month of March needs to be two chapters, cause otherwise it would be too damn long - I think I'll still post them at the same time though) (this is from the first part still)

2011 -

TK yawned. “Dad, the thing that fell out of my pocket when we were….” He didn’t finish that sentence. “Can I have it back?” It came out so innocently; it made Owen think about when TK was five and asking for another cookie cause he had eaten all his dinner. Which, this thought quelled a lot of things Owen wanted to say, and he softly replied, “No, son. I’m afraid not”. “Why not?” TK whined, still sounding like that little boy with the enormous eyes. “Dad, they’re just mood stabilizers. That’s it. I really think you’re making this into a bigger thing than it is”. Owen pulled the bottle out of his pocket to look at it. “TK, these looks like heavy grade narcotics,” he said. “And this bottle looks like it was prescribed to someone who isn’t you. Which means, you shouldn’t be walking around with these”. TK groaned softly and rested his head on the seat. “Dad—” “And which part am I making into a bigger thing than it is?” Owen asked. “I’m serious. Would it be the part at [redacted], where you waited until my back was turned before you snuck out? Or the fact that that you were planning to sneak out, and had this worked out with [redacted] beforehand?” That got his son’s attention. He clearly wasn’t expecting that. “How do you know about that?” “We saw it on your Facebook,” Owen told him. “That’s how I was able to find you”. “You…” TK shook his head slightly. “You hacked into my private Facebook page? That’s a huge invasion of my privacy, Dad”. “And that is very low on the list of alarming things that have happened in the last few hours,” Owen replied. “And no one was hacking — nor is your page very private, for that matter. You hadn’t logged out of the website on the computer in your mother’s living room”. The look on TK’s face told Owen that it was news to his son that he had done this (or had forgotten to, rather).

No pressure tagging - I tag @liminalmemories21 @bonheur-cafe @lemonlyman-dotcom @honeybee-taskforce

@chaotictarlos @firstprince-history-huh @reyestrandd @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@carlos-tk @herefortarlos @chicgeekgirl89 @literateowl

@welcometololaland @thebumblecee @jesuisici33 @kiwichaeng

@freneticfloetry @goodways @happilylovingchaos @lightningboltreader

@birdclowns @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @kiankiwi @actualalligator

@just-inside-her @inkweedandlizards @lochnesswriter @tarlos4eva

@mikibwrites @alltheprettyplaces @doublel27 @ladytessa74 @fallout-mars

@theghostofashton @vineofroses @sugdenlovesdingle @tailoredshirt

and anyone else who wants to do it - open tag 🫶

[no-saints-around-here]

i just read your little blurbs with panties and kokonoi, and who do you think it would be 👁👁 do you think he would ever let redacted join them either in or after a livestream 👁👁

Recommended Readings: Panty Sniffing HCs; Koko Panties Ask

Masterlist

‎‎‎

tw: nsfw, afab reader, forced exhibitionism, oral, panty soiling, panty sniffing, dead dove do not eat

Intentionally left that as a mystery so that yall can daydream a little about whoever your favourite Bonten exec is! buuuttt if you ask me-

In my head, that little sneaker would be Kakucho hands down.

Well known around the syndicate that Koko doesn't trust any of the other executives as far as he can throw them, especially not with your safety. He knows they know what the two of you get up to in the confines of the lush, opulent bedroom, what with his obsession with you; the white-haired man can't shut up about how adorable you looked in just your panties and thigh highs with a scrunched up nose and a touch of tears at the corner of your eyes. Not to say the sheer number of times the circle of Bonten managers had to hear again and again during actual official meetings about the long string of 0s that your used underwear fetches in auctions online, and how yummy he thought your round butt looked when he finally got to fuck you after the camera was off (the absolute simp) until Mikey finally tells him to shut the fuck up. Maybe Mikey would be the sole exception given he simply has no interest in anything or anyone else, but his mental stability around someone as soft and delicate as you would be what Koko calls into question. So in conclusion, it would be a cold day in hell before he lets you venture out of your luxurious shared room when any of them are out and about and allow them to even lay their eyes on you.

But as a working executive himself and the extremely busy treasurer of an organization as large and sophisticated as Bonten, there are definitely extended periods where work gets in the way of you and him, but your needs that require you to venture out remain despite Koko trying his best to have as many facilities built ensuite for you. You still had your weekly private doctor appointments to attend and clothes fittings to go to (absolutely no one was allowed in your room if you were in and he was not). Because how could he not buy you the best money can afford? You were his whole life, his only reason to keep living and trudging foward. So the one reluctant exception to his rule would be Kakucho; stoic, distant and an all-round good-hearted guy deep down. An unlucky soul much like himself that unfortunately somehow found his way into the underworld life, Koko felt that Bonten’s third in command would be the one that he could trust to look after you when he wasn’t free to and more importantly, keep his hands off of you no matter how delectable and snackable you looked much unlike those disgusting Haitani twins, even if both Ran and Rindo vehemently deny all and every allegation.

And stoic Kakucho was from the first day he came to pick you up from your room for a usual appointment for a high fashion fitting - you had let a surprised exclamation slip out when you opened your door to him. Barely speaking to you except when he absolutely needed to to give you instructions, keeping a respectable distance away from you and declining to touch you in any way or form, escorting you straight to the secured location and then back to your room (where Koko was already hiding and eagerly awaiting your return), making sure you locked the door behind him. A quick rub and sniff of your panties found it to be completely unwet, and the black-haired man passed the unspoken test run. Kakucho was a perfect fit for the occasional job, living up to his loyal name, and Koko was sure to reward the man handsomely for the trouble, not blinking an eye even when the money came from his own pocket for anything that Kakucho might desire.

Yet unknown to Bonten’s finance guru, even if Kakucho have said less than a handful of words to you, you were still happy to chatter away with a new face, something you hadn’t had the privilege to do for god only knows how long. Koko despises it when your attention wavers from him for even a second without a very good reason, and the last thing you wanted was to get anyone into trouble; but your clingy partner never seem to find out when you talk to Kakucho in the privacy of the armoured vehicle you two ride. And so you talk, starting with the mundane stuff like what you read in the few magazines and books you were allowed when Koko was too busy to whine for your affection, to what you were looking forward to eating and trying, venturing to even mentioning about the few times you’ve seen others walk by your room through the peephole, which you were explicitly forbidden from doing. Interestingly enough, you never once had anything bad to say about Koko or the panty auctions that you certainly weren’t a willing participant in.

And despite everything that you had been put through, the gleam in your doe eyes never faded, and you enjoyed the rare minutes that you were allowed to peer out of the car window at the city around you whizzing by, fascinated at even the simplest things - a convenient store that you fondly remember, a playground, a school. You would become the sole light of Kakucho’s life, the last remnants of innocence that Kakucho grasps on to as if a lifeline in the turbulent, harsh sea that was Bonten. Upbeat, positive and truly naive, Kakucho finally understood what was it that Koko saw in you: an escape from what reality was. An escape to what could have been. Definitely started looking forward to hearing about you during those meetings, almost disappointed when Koko was forced to stop so that they could continue discussing more dreary topics. And then the smell of you on your used panties when he finally caved and begged the website from Mikey in return for a favour. There wasn’t words that could describe what your juices smelt like; sweet, heavenly, divine, all words that paled to what he could take in. And then the disgusting, depraved thoughts that ran through his head of what he would do to you when Kakucho wrapped the thin cloth around his dick, the dark seed of utter desire and envy planted as a few pumps is all it took for him to cum, though the Bonten executive was quick to pull your underwear away to avoid getting it dirty. He paid too many zeros for this to be a one-time use.

One way or another, anything and everything that goes on within the syndicate finds its way back to Koko, and no surprise that it does. He did fill the bags and control the purse strings after all, and no one under Mikey dared deny this white-haired man the information he wanted. No doubt he learns about Kakucho’s self-funded purchase of your used panties not once but multiple times, complete with alias and covering his tracks best as he can, and Koko’s first reaction would be betrayal. This was the man he trusted to take care of you when he wasn’t looking? What else was he telling you, doing to you when there were no eyes? And an agitated Koko is not someone you liked to deal with, instantly turning on you with jealousy and possessiveness burning behind his eyes, tight slap to your face leaving you reeling before strong hands closed over your throat as he pinned you to the bed, questioning you again and again about Kakucho even as you thrashed in a bid to breathe. Were you lying to him too? Were you trying to escape from him with Kakucho?

His next feeling would be smugness and greed. Of course Kakucho would fall for you like he did; you were his little perfect angel. Would Koko ever let Kakucho fuck you? Absolutely fucking not, even once this boy has rung every last bit of information from you and is finally satisfied of your loyalty to him. You were his and only his, and no matter how secure Koko felt about you, he wasn't going to share.

‎

But would he let Kakucho have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to taste you on a livestream? Yes. Big yes. The former Black Dragon is a master at playing the game and understanding what makes someone tick, and leveraging you against someone as infatuated with you as Kakucho as a fellow executive and having that to hold over his head for bascially nothing was a no-brainer. The black-haired man wouldn’t realize that Koko already knew about his secretive buying habits when he is invited over to Koko’s room, thinking it’ll just be another escort job. It would be gut-wrenching for Kakucho to walk in and see you already trussed up, on all fours with your limbs in spreader bars and eyes blindfolded, your skin very clearly covered in whip marks and raised welts; and that was precisely when it set in that Koko knew. But despite this guilt at you having taken the punishment for something he did, Koko’s offer instantly had the other second guessing himself.

One favour, and he could touch and smell and taste you as long as he wanted, even keep your panties afterwards - with the conditions that there would be no penetration with fingers or dicks, that Koko would be present and watching from the corner of the room, and that it was all on livestream. Your thighs already trembling at the effort to keep you up as Kakucho approached, eagerly crawling towards you even as you hoarsely repeated his name, telling him that you didn’t want this. He knew this was wrong, he knew he shouldn’t, but your tantalisingly wet pussy glistening with your juice was too big a temptation. One press of his face in between your legs and there was nothing more Kakucho could think about in the moment, sucking and licking and tongue-fucking you, his big hands wrapped around your thighs and keeping you up as your lovely voice moaned his name and your body shook at the exertion as you came again and again and again.

And the livestream instantly explodes into outrage, much to Koko’s delight exactly as he had predicted. Who was this stranger who had the sheer privilege of being there with you, tasting your milk as you cum around his tongue? Was this some sort of hidden tier they had yet to unlock with their bid amounts? How much did he pay for this opportunity? But all answers went unanswered, and the bidders could only put forth their best guess. Of course Koko would never disclose that something like this was priceless, given all the doors that could be unlocked with a single favour from Kakucho, and the many future opportunities for business given Kakucho would never stop craving you - but he allowed the masses to stew and bemoan and hypothesise, the already outrageous numbers that your panties garner on the auction growing to even more ludicrous numbers as your wealthy fans try their best.

I’m kinda curious who your redacted-kuns are and how you think Koko would react hehehehe

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for keeping a huge secret from my mom?

so i (26ftm) moved back in with my parents a little over a year ago due to the housing market. shakes fist at sky. you know how it is. anyways, uh, while i may be a broke zillennial, my parents are fairly financially well off, and it's in part due to my father's job. my mom recently retired and my father keeps saying he's going to retire, but still keeps pushing it off (and has been pushing it off for about a decade now).

now uh, shortly before i moved in, my mom was telling me that she was having problems with my father. that this was "the third time this had happened" and "this is his last chance" - i think you may see where i'm going with this. he was cheating. for the third time. and she'd caught him, got them to go to couples therapy, and told him there would be no fourth chance. she was willing to move out of the house and start anew somewhere else if she needed to.

um. enter me, the apple of my dad's eye. i move in. one night my mom is off at a book club so it's just me and him for dinner. he opens his phone (up til this point i've noticed he looks at his phone A Lot.) and opens up wechat. he's calling someone "babe" and sending them red heart emojis. i instantly feel kind of sick. i ask him, "are you texting mom?" and he gets SO confused for a second and says no (i don't think he knew i'd seen his phone screen).

that was almost a year ago today. since then i have seen him text this other woman nonstop, has talked about starting a family with her, has talked about taking her with him on his "work trips," and - for some reason - i've seen him google straight-up escort websites on his phone. uh, that one was while my mom and i were in the middle of showing him old family videos.

i feel so fucking guilty. every time i see him i want to [REDACTED DUE TO TUMBLR GUIDELINES]. i lost my therapist that i had known for five years in the move, i lost my entire support network, and i still haven't found anything like that up here. i am completely isolated, and while i have my own job right now, i am in no way financially stable enough to find my own place to live. if i tell my mom, i don't know what's going to happen to me. i don't know if she will kick him out or if she will move. i am trying to move back to where i was living, but i just can't afford it. i feel completely trapped in this situation, and i know what the right thing to do is, but i am terrified that on top of losing my entire life a year ago, i'm about to lose everything else, too.

a large part of me wants to confront my father first, but i am also terrified of him. i know i'm his favorite, but i am well aware of his temper, and while he's never physically harmed me, i feel like the situation might be a bit different if i'm the person that might get him divorced and ostracized from the entire family. i don't know. i honestly have no idea. everything is so confusing and i just have felt frozen for an entire year.

but the other night i saw him texting her again. she's mentioned she had been feeling sick lately and he told her that she might be pregnant. i was so close to losing it. i almost ripped his phone out of his hand and smashed it on the ground. i couldn't look him in the eye. i could barely even speak to him. maybe the funniest part about this is that he doesn't realize anything is wrong. he's a fucking narcissist and doesn't pay the slightest bit of attention to how other people act around him.

the next day, he was gone for another "work trip".

i am run completely ragged and i don't know how much longer i can take this. i find myself wishing someone else could take it out of my hands so that i don't have to be responsible for destroying our whole family.

anyways. am i the asshole for being a coward?

a bit of extra INFO as well though: as far as i'm aware, my parents are in a bit of a dead bedroom situation (frankly. my mom likes to oversshare.) so uh. at the very least i know she's not getting whatever diseases my dad surely must have by now.

What are these acronyms?

[illarian-rambling]

Which of the gods in your wip did you have the most fun writing?

Surprise ask? My day is made! :D

Honestly, I had a lot of fun with all of them. Loqang is terribly formal and honorable, but look a little closer, and he's a chronic meddler. For a god of loyalty, he's got a lot of backburner schemes cooking. Ibara was fun because she was his total opposite. I love gods who swear and complain and just generally act like mortals. Kezdwe was a nice balance to both of them as a generally chill dude. He knows he's not a big player in the pantheon, so you just know he's relaxing on a spectral hammock somewhere when he's not on the battlefield.

But easily my favorite to write out of all of them was the Great Anglerfish Himself, Lamsara Hedandros. He's so... dare I say... cunty. Three books of building him up as this malevolent force left me a little uncertain of how to live up to that reputation while keeping him interesting. He still is a terrifying force during his chapter with Daedryn, but I think I was able to give him depth by showing his common interest with the other gods in keeping the sun from being eaten. He wants a planet to live on as much as anything else - he just also wants to rule it and enthrall the other gods. All in all, these things made him a blast to write as an allied villain, and I don't think it would've been out of character for him to break into a disney villain musical number as well

And though he doesn't appear in Honor's Outcasts, [REDACTED] is the first god I ever came up with, and I adored narrating Rel's Haunting through him. He's such a grump, but he's also the god of wonder, so he notices the beauty in everything. Love means so much to him, even if he can't do anything to act on it. Top tier angel dad and my favorite fellow Timaz hater 👍

Thanks so much for the ask!

[takami-takami]

More venting, sowry. Actually embarassing to be doing this with this pfp, bye. Interact (like button) if you read.

Trauma, grief, sui threats, animal harm, abuse (not going to label it. Just assume it's in there). This is kinda long. It's honestly just a trauma dump but I'm just tired of holding it inside. Anyways.

Hiiiiii i'm so fucking stressed ^-^ Re: the situation with my dadddd. ^-^

Uragh. There was a huge argument last night. It's very harrowing living in this house. One day, you spend 2 hours talking someone through "dude this is literally wrong" and they're just... Chipper. Smiling into the phone, "uh, yeah. I know? Why do you think I did it?"

They detail to you exactly how much they want another person to hurt, to suffer, over a slight against them. Over "disrespect." You spend careful effort not to tell them how their actions made the other person cry, in case they find sick satisfaction in that. You listen to them detail the way they feel absolutely no remorse because they are incapable of such remorse. They only cry when recounting their own pain. They never cry for another. When another person cries that's sport, that's "games."

And a few days later, he's smiling asking you how you're doing. And everyone else is "trying" with him. I don't blame them, it's self protection.

Honestly. I think part of the problem here is that I'm just describing This week. Instead of a lifetime. You know?

Because I've sat through my dad telling me how people are pawns. Faceless. I've watched him boast with glee about how manipulative he is, how he wears the title "master manipulator" with pride. How he's the smartest person, how he's above everyone else. Don't mistake this as praise for him. In one of the hundreds of times he's talked to me about this he got six times seven wrong.

But anyways. I've seen how his face morphs into a smile slowly, crawling up his face as he gets me upset.

I'll give an example. One of the many times he basically tried to kill himself in front of us or said he was going to, he explained that the reason why is because he's personally experienced grief, and that's why he chose to do it as a punishment. Specifically so that we could feel the overwhelming experience of pain and anguish. He likes that kind of shit. Makes him feel all vindicated, ya know?

But he provides for us, cuz he cares about us or whatever. I mean, we're "extensions of him and he owns us" and all, if I'm being cynical; but he definitely is capable of love. At least, love the emotion, not the action. The problem lies in that he is physically incapable of feeling empathy, remorse, or guilt. Not having empathy itself is fine, by the way, like tons of people don't have empathy and are perfectly chill people but the problem lies in that he really doesn't have that "off" switch to stop him from doing sadistic things. It's a really bad combination.

I mean I guess there's fear. Of god, of being a bad person, of being like his father. I honestly don't know what's holding him together at this point.

It's just... A lot. Dealing with someone like this as your dad. But things are "better" now. Right? He just terrorizes mom now. He just picks fights now. It's not like "before." When he threatened to slice my pet rabbit up. When he threatened to [redacted] me. When he did something to me I don't want to talk about that I read is actually a war crime. Torture. You know? Stuff like that.

I feel... So much disgust in my body. I feel so much rage and shame. I don't even know why I'm posting this. But anyways.

It'd be an insult to call this "my story" or whatevs because it's nothing like that. I'm just... Tired. I thought I'd be happier not talking about what happened but I'm not. I probably won't feel any happier saying this either. But who knows.

I haven't been able to do my schoolwork. I'm supposed to get it done by tomorrow. I have to leave wednesday for my trip. Haven't done shit all day.

[bladesmitten]

(anon feral about Wyll transformation scene again) Do you think he has nightmares after that? dreams where he's human and then wakes up a devil and has to readjust all over again? nightmares where the transformation is worse, more drastic, more monstrous? nightmares where it happens again? where the devilish nature makes him do, or want to do, something monstrous?

when he wakes up from one of those do the changes hurt, or seem to hurt, again? does he go to anyone for comfort or try to soldier on? does he yearn for how he looked and felt before, even while he does his best to accept the changes and move forward? does Karlach notice him having a hard time and go try to comfort him somehow, because she knows that was all because he wanted her to live?

Karlach's engine was put in there against her will, Astarion got vampire'd against his will, do those two ever talk to Wyll about it from the angle of someone who's gone through something not the same but comparable? do they want to help get him away from Mizora before she can do anything worse to him, both knowing that it never stops at just the transformation, not wanting to find out what she would do to him next? (Karlach knows from an angle of having been used after the 'upgrade' as a devil's warrior and attack dog, Astarion knows from an angle of having been used as a vampire's tool and plaything, and from what they see of how Mizora treats Wyll she very well might do any/all of that or find some new other terrible thing to do)

when he realizes they have overlapping traumas like that do you think he seeks them out for help or comfort, or to try to help/comfort them because he's like that? do you think even the companions who don't 100% get the specific "somebody painfully physically transformed you against your will for their own gains" trauma notice him sleeping fitfully sometimes and recognize the same kind of pain in his voice that they heard that night when he was transformed and they just know what that nightmare was about?

it's late and I'm rambling but YOU KNOW???? WYLL...

(I haven't even made it through act 2 yet and I'm already like this about him)

considering wyll still has nightmares of him being exiled 7 years ago? he definitely gets nightmares about this one too. the readjustment period is another thing altogether - his skull is heavier, he has to rebalance his center of gravity to stand up straight, and everything else in between. it's a lot to handle, both in reality and in his sleep.

(also thinking about the last time something drastic physically happened to him is when he lost his eye 🥲 and now here he is again trying to readjust his life)

this is headcanon territory but - that man is a Sulker... whenever he thinks he's alone he just kinda mopes about it all. but it's also sooo obvious that he's not okay and that he's just putting up a front.

karlach definitely does everything she can to cheer him up. whether that be cracking the shittiest jokes (that wyll laughs at so earnestly) or playfighting with him. astarion does it in his own prickly way, like a cat pretending not to be endeared by wyll - offering to bite him to give him a good night's nightmare-less rest. gale cooks wyll's favourite dish as a morale boost - even though fresh ingredients are hard to come by. lae'zel offers to spar with wyll to take his mind off things, or just telling him how great a warrior he is and how she'd love to [redacted] his [redacted] (LMAO). shadowheart would tease wyll about his affinity for trashy romance novels, giving him a backhanded compliment on how hot he looks with his horns, and that his new look would fit in the cover of a trashy romance novel (that she'd totally read and enjoy).

whenever mizora appears in camp, everyone just forms a wall between wyll and mizora like a phalanx. wyll protection sequence activate.

i also like to think wyll recognizes that he's no longer alone in his suffering. he's not as isolated as he once was! that's why he's so eager to make friends, why he gives approval on every question you ask him. he's grateful to have these people who care for him, especially his bestie karlach who'd give her life for him and vice versa 🥺

(get yourself ready when you get to act 3... honey youve got a big storm coming.gif)