#How to Overcome Perfectionism

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Unlearning Perfection: A Workbook for Embracing Progress and Self-Compassion

Have you ever felt the subtle, yet relentless, pull of an invisible leash, guiding you towards an ever-receding horizon of flawlessness? For years, I’ve watched countless individuals, myself included, chase this elusive ideal, believing it to be the key to success and acceptance. This isn't about the admirable pursuit of excellence; it's about the suffocating fear of falling short, the quiet terror that anything less than perfect is simply not enough.

Unlearning Perfection: A Workbook for Embracing Progress and Self-Compassion - Practical Exercises to Challenge Your Inner Critic, Let Go of Unrealistic Standards, and Find Freedom in Imperfection: BUY EBOOK CLICK HARE

As someone who has dedicated my life to understanding human potential and the barriers that often stand in its way, I've come to realize a profound truth: perfection is a mirage, a cruel illusion that promises peace but delivers only anxiety and paralysis. It’s a beautifully crafted cage, often self-imposed, designed to protect us from judgment, yet it ultimately traps our spirit and stifles our most authentic expression. But here's the liberating secret I'm eager to share: this cage has no lock. We hold the key to unlocking its bars, to shedding its weight, and to discovering an exhilarating freedom in embracing our inherent, magnificent imperfection. This article is your blueprint, a practical guide to dismantling the myth of perfection, offering actionable exercises to quiet your inner critic, release the grip of unattainable standards, and find profound self-compassion in the journey of growth.

The Tyranny of the Ideal: Dissecting Perfectionism's Grip

Let's start by shining a light on perfectionism itself. It’s often lauded as a virtue, a sign of dedication and high standards. But there’s a critical distinction to be made between healthy striving and its insidious cousin. Healthy striving is fueled by curiosity, a genuine desire to learn, and the joy of mastery. It's about pushing boundaries, improving, and celebrating progress. Perfectionism, conversely, is driven by a deep-seated fear – fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of not being worthy. It's an unforgiving, binary mindset: either it's flawless, or it's worthless. There's no middle ground, no room for the beautiful messiness of creation or the invaluable lessons learned through missteps.

Where does this relentless pursuit of an ideal come from? Its origins are often deeply personal and culturally reinforced. We live in a world saturated with curated images of perfection – the perfect body, the perfect career, the perfect family. Social media, in particular, acts as an echo chamber, amplifying these highlight reels and subtly implying that anything less is inadequate. Beyond these external pressures, our early experiences play a pivotal role. Perhaps we grew up in environments where mistakes were met with harsh criticism, where love and approval felt conditional upon flawless performance, or where we internalized the belief that our value was inextricably linked to our achievements. These early lessons can sow the seeds of an inner critic that demands an impossible standard, a relentless taskmaster that resides within.

The hidden tolls of this tyranny are staggering. I’ve seen it manifest as crippling anxiety, where every task becomes a monumental hurdle, fraught with the potential for catastrophic failure. I’ve witnessed the insidious creep of procrastination, where the fear of not doing something perfectly prevents it from being done at all. Burnout is a common companion, as the relentless pursuit exhausts mind, body, and spirit. Most heartbreakingly, perfectionism shackles our self-worth to external outcomes. If the project isn't perfect, I am not perfect. If the presentation isn't flawless, I am a failure. This fragile foundation for self-esteem leaves us perpetually vulnerable, dissatisfied, and unable to truly savor our accomplishments.

I recall working with a brilliant software engineer, Lena, whose code was elegant and efficient. Yet, she would delay releasing new features for months, endlessly refactoring and optimizing, convinced it wasn't "perfect" enough. Her team, and even her users, were clamoring for the updates, but her internal standard was an insurmountable wall. "It just needs one more tweak," she'd say, even when her work was already superior to industry benchmarks. The tragic irony was that her perfectionism, intended to ensure excellence, was actually stifling innovation and causing immense personal distress. She was trapped in a self-made labyrinth, unable to truly share her extraordinary talent due to the relentless demand for an unattainable ideal. For Lena, unlearning perfection wasn't about lowering her standards for quality, but about detaching her self-worth from the outcome and allowing for the natural, iterative process of creation and release.

Taming the Inner Critic: Practical Strategies for Self-Talk Transformation

At the core of perfectionism lies a powerful, often merciless, inner critic. This voice, a composite of internalized criticisms and fears, relentlessly points out flaws, predicts doom, and demands more. It's the architect of your self-doubt, the gatekeeper of your unrealistic standards. The first crucial step in unlearning perfection is to recognize, understand, and ultimately disarm this critic.

Identifying Your Inner Critic's Voice and Patterns:

Take a moment to truly listen. What does your inner critic sound like? Is it a booming, condemning voice, or a subtle, undermining whisper? Does it use absolute language like "always," "never," "should," or "must"? Does it dwell on past mistakes or conjure up future catastrophes? For instance, when you're about to embark on a new endeavor, does it sneer, "You'll never get this right, just like last time," or "Everyone else is so much more capable than you"?

Practical Exercise 1: Name Your Critic and Engage in Dialogue

Step 1: Externalize the Voice. Give your inner critic a name. It could be something whimsical, like "The Comparison Monster," or something more direct, like "The Judge." Naming it helps you recognize it as a separate entity, distinct from your true self.

Step 2: Pinpoint the Message. The next time your critic speaks up, pause. What precisely is it saying? Write down the exact words or phrases.

Step 3: Challenge and Reframe. Now, engage in a conscious dialogue with it. Not with anger, but with a blend of compassion and logical reasoning. If your critic says, "You're going to bomb this interview," you might respond, "I hear your concern, but I've prepared diligently, and even if it's not perfect, I will gain valuable experience from it." Or, "That's an old, unhelpful narrative, and I choose not to believe it anymore."

Step 4: Cultivate a Compassionate Inner Voice. Actively practice speaking to yourself as you would a cherished friend who is struggling. Replace harsh judgments with understanding, encouragement, and kindness. Instead of "You screwed up again," try "That didn't go as planned, but what insights can I glean from this experience?"

This process of cognitive reframing is profoundly transformative. It's about consciously shifting your perspective from a negative, fear-based interpretation to a more balanced, realistic, and compassionate one. Your inner critic often acts like a misguided protector, attempting to keep you safe by pushing you towards an impossible ideal, believing that perfection will prevent pain or rejection. But like a guard dog that barks at shadows, its methods are often counterproductive. By acknowledging its underlying intention (protection) but challenging its harmful strategies, you begin to reclaim ownership of your internal narrative.

Unlearning Perfection: A Workbook for Embracing Progress and Self-Compassion - Practical Exercises to Challenge Your Inner Critic, Let Go of Unrealistic Standards, and Find Freedom in Imperfection: BUY EBOOK CLICK HARE

Releasing the Shackles of Unrealistic Standards: Redefining Success

One of the most debilitating facets of perfectionism is its insistence on unrealistic standards. It sets the bar so impossibly high that it becomes a perpetual source of inadequacy. This frequently manifests as "all-or-nothing" thinking: if it's not perfect, it's an utter failure. There's no nuanced middle ground, no allowance for "good enough," no appreciation for effort, or the incremental beauty of progress.

It's paramount to differentiate between healthy striving and this unhealthy perfectionism. Healthy striving understands that excellence is a dynamic journey, not a static destination. It recognizes that mistakes are not endpoints but invaluable teachers. Unhealthy perfectionism, however, views mistakes as catastrophic failures, irrefutable evidence of inherent inadequacy. It’s the difference between aiming for a personal best and aiming for an impossible ideal that inevitably crushes you under its immense weight.

To release these shackles, we must fundamentally redefine what success truly means. It's not about achieving a flawless outcome, but about engaging wholeheartedly in the process, investing your best effort, learning continuously, and growing incrementally. It's about setting realistic, flexible goals that account for human error and allow for graceful adaptation.

Practical Exercise 2: The "Good Enough" Experiment

Step 1: Select a Task. Choose a task you frequently procrastinate on or agonize over due to perfectionist tendencies (e.g., writing a non-critical email, tidying a specific area of your home, preparing a simple meal, drafting a preliminary outline).

Step 2: Define "Good Enough." Before you begin, consciously decide what "good enough" looks like for this particular task. This means meeting the core requirements without striving for absolute flawlessness. For an email, it might be clear communication, not perfectly polished prose. For cleaning, it might be tidiness, not sterile perfection.

Step 3: Execute and Observe. Complete the task to your "good enough" standard. Actively resist the urge to tweak, refine, or overthink.

Step 4: Reflect. How did it feel? Was the outcome truly "bad" because it wasn't perfect? Did the world unravel? Often, you'll discover that "good enough" is perfectly sufficient, and the mental energy saved is immense. This exercise helps to rewire your brain to accept imperfection as a viable and often preferable outcome, freeing up mental bandwidth for what truly matters.

By shifting your focus from solely the outcome to the effort and learning involved, you recalibrate your internal metric for success. You begin to appreciate the journey, the subtle improvements, and the resilience you cultivate along the way. This paradigm shift liberates you from the tyranny of the impossible and opens the door to genuine, sustainable accomplishment.

Finding Freedom in Imperfection: The Art of Being Human

The most profound realization on the path to unlearning perfection is that imperfection is not a defect; it is an intrinsic part of being human, and indeed, a wellspring of beauty, authenticity, and connection. We are not machines engineered for flawless execution; we are complex, evolving beings, designed for growth and experience.

Embracing vulnerability is paramount here. Perfectionism thrives on concealing our perceived flaws, constructing a facade of invincibility. But it is in our vulnerability, our courageous willingness to be seen as imperfect, that true connection blossoms. Consider the people you admire most – are they flawless automatons, or are they individuals who have navigated challenges, learned from their missteps, and shown their authentic selves, quirks and all? It is often their imperfections that make them relatable, inspiring, and deeply human.

In Japanese aesthetics, there's a concept called "Wabi-Sabi," which celebrates beauty in imperfection, transience, and incompleteness. A chipped teacup, a weathered wooden beam, the asymmetrical elegance of nature – these are cherished for their unique character, their story, their natural state of being. This philosophy offers a powerful antidote to our Western obsession with polished perfection. It teaches us to appreciate the cracks, the wear, the unique marks that life leaves on us, seeing them not as defects but as profound evidence of experience, resilience, and authenticity.

When we grant ourselves permission to be imperfect, we unlock boundless creativity. The pressure to be perfect often stifles innovation, as the fear of failure prevents us from taking bold risks or experimenting freely. But when we embrace imperfection, we give ourselves the freedom to play, to explore, to make glorious mistakes, and to discover unexpected, brilliant solutions.

I vividly recall a time when I was preparing for a crucial keynote address. I had meticulously rehearsed every word, every gesture, aiming for an absolutely flawless delivery. However, on the day of the event, a sudden technical glitch occurred, forcing me to improvise on the spot. In that moment of unexpected imperfection, something profound shifted within me. I let go of the rigid script, spoke from a place of genuine spontaneity, and connected with the audience in a way I never could have if I had remained perfectly rehearsed. The feedback I received wasn't about my flawless delivery, but about my authenticity, my resilience, and the raw humanity of the moment. It was a powerful personal anecdote that solidified my understanding of the immense freedom found in embracing imperfection.

Unlearning Perfection: A Workbook for Embracing Progress and Self-Compassion - Practical Exercises to Challenge Your Inner Critic, Let Go of Unrealistic Standards, and Find Freedom in Imperfection: BUY EBOOK CLICK HARE

Practical Exercise 3: The Imperfect Action Challenge

Step 1: Choose a Creative or Novel Task. Select something you've longed to try but have held back from due to the fear of not doing it perfectly (e.g., starting a new hobby, learning a new skill, creating a piece of art, trying a new recipe, volunteering for a task outside your comfort zone).

Step 2: Commit to Imperfect Action. Set a timer for a short, manageable period (e.g., 15-30 minutes). During this time, your sole objective is to begin and do something, no matter how messy, clumsy, or unpolished it feels. Don't aim for a masterpiece; aim for initiation and engagement.

Step 3: Embrace the "Mess." Consciously allow yourself to make mistakes, to be awkward, to produce something that is far from perfect. Actively resist the urge to criticize or stop.

Step 4: Reflect on the Experience. How did it feel to simply do it, without the crushing pressure of perfection? What did you learn from the process? Did the world come to an end? You will likely discover that the act of doing, even imperfectly, is far more rewarding and illuminating than the paralysis of waiting for an elusive perfection.

The Power of Progress Over Perfection: A New Paradigm

If perfection is a fleeting mirage, then progress is the tangible, enduring path forward. This represents a fundamental shift in mindset: moving from a fixed, outcome-oriented view to a dynamic, journey-oriented perspective. Instead of fixating on a flawless final product, we learn to celebrate the incremental steps, the small victories, and the continuous evolution that defines true growth.

Life, after all, is not a final, uneditable manuscript; it's a continuous, evolving draft. Every experience, every attempt, every perceived "mistake" is simply another revision, another opportunity to refine, adapt, and improve. When we wholeheartedly embrace this iterative nature, the suffocating pressure to be perfect dissolves, replaced by the exhilarating excitement of learning, growing, and becoming.

Consider any skill you've truly mastered. Was it achieved in a single, flawless leap? Or was it the culmination of countless hours of practice, numerous missteps, diligent adjustments, and gradual, persistent improvement? The latter, unequivocally. Yet, when it comes to our personal and professional lives, we often forget this fundamental truth and demand instant, effortless perfection.

Practical Exercise 4: The Progress Journal

Step 1: Establish a Dedicated Journal. This can be a physical notebook, a digital document, or a simple app.

Step 2: Daily/Weekly Reflection. At the end of each day or week, instead of listing what you didn't achieve perfectly, intentionally focus on what progress you did make.

Step 3: Document Small Wins. These don't have to be grand, earth-shattering achievements. They can be:

"I finally started that difficult task I'd been avoiding."

"I learned a new concept about X, even if I don't fully grasp it yet."

"I managed my time more effectively today than yesterday."

"I responded to a challenge with more resilience than I expected."

"I practiced self-compassion when I felt overwhelmed, instead of self-criticism."

Step 4: Acknowledge Effort. Emphasize the effort you invested, not solely the outcome. "I put in a solid effort on that report, even though it's still a work in progress."

Step 5: Review and Celebrate. Periodically look back at your progress journal. You will be genuinely amazed at how much you've accomplished and how far you've come, even when individual days felt imperfect or challenging. This consistent practice trains your brain to recognize and deeply value progress, cultivating a more robust and sustainable sense of self-efficacy and accomplishment.

This new paradigm of progress over perfection empowers us to be profoundly more resilient in the face of setbacks. A "failure" is no longer a catastrophic end but a valuable data point, a stepping stone on the continuous path of improvement. It fosters a genuine growth mindset, where challenges are viewed as exciting opportunities for learning and evolution, rather than as existential threats to our self-worth.

Cultivating Self-Compassion: Your Unshakeable Anchor

Perhaps the most vital and transformative tool in unlearning perfection is cultivating self-compassion. This is not self-pity or self-indulgence; it is a powerful, empirically supported approach to relating to ourselves with profound kindness, understanding, and acceptance, especially when we are struggling, feeling inadequate, or facing perceived failures. It is the ultimate antidote to the harsh inner critic and the impossible demands of perfectionism.

Self-compassion comprises three core, interconnected components:

Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment: Instead of harshly criticizing yourself for perceived shortcomings or mistakes, respond with warmth, empathy, and understanding, precisely as you would to a beloved friend in distress.

Common Humanity vs. Isolation: Recognize that suffering, imperfection, and making mistakes are an inherent, universal part of the shared human experience. You are not alone in your struggles; every human being experiences them.

Mindfulness vs. Over-identification: Observe your painful thoughts and feelings without getting swept away or consumed by them. Acknowledge them with gentle awareness, creating a spacious internal environment for acceptance and perspective.

Why is self-compassion so critically important for unlearning perfection? Because perfectionism thrives on judgment, shame, and isolation. It tells you that your flaws make you unworthy and that you must conceal them at all costs. Self-compassion, conversely, courageously embraces your imperfections, gently reminds you of your shared humanity, and offers a kind, mindful presence. It creates a safe, nurturing internal space where you can acknowledge your struggles without shame, learn from them with wisdom, and move forward with profound resilience.

Practical Exercise 5: The Self-Compassion Break

Step 1: Notice When You're Struggling. The next time you feel overwhelmed, inadequate, frustrated, or like you've failed, pause. Simply notice the feeling without judgment.

Step 2: Acknowledge the Suffering. Place your hand gently over your heart (or wherever feels most comforting to you) and say to yourself, either aloud or silently, "This is a moment of suffering." Or, "This is really hard right now."

Step 3: Connect to Common Humanity. Gently remind yourself, "Suffering is an intrinsic part of life." Or, "I'm not alone in feeling this way; many people experience similar struggles and imperfections."

Step 4: Offer Yourself Kindness. Say something genuinely kind and supportive to yourself. "May I be kind to myself in this moment." Or, "May I give myself the compassion and understanding I need." Imagine what you would say to a dear friend in the exact same situation and offer those words to yourself.

Step 5: Breathe. Take a few deep, slow, calming breaths, allowing the words and the physical sensation of kindness to deeply permeate your being.

Integrating self-compassion into your daily life is a continuous, gentle practice. It's about consciously choosing kindness over criticism, understanding over judgment, and connection over isolation. It's about recognizing your inherent worth, which is independent of your achievements, your perceived flaws, or external validation. When you anchor yourself in self-compassion, the turbulent storms of perfectionism lose their power, and you discover a profound sense of inner peace, freedom, and authentic well-being.

Conclusion

Unlearning perfection is not a finite destination but a profound, ongoing journey of self-discovery and transformation. It is a courageous act of self-liberation, a conscious and compassionate decision to shed the heavy, constricting armor of flawlessness and embrace the vibrant, messy, and utterly beautiful reality of who you truly are. It’s about recognizing that your inherent worth is not contingent upon external validation or an impossible ideal, but is intrinsic to your very existence.

As you courageously embark on this path, remember that progress, not perfection, is the true and sustainable measure of a life well-lived. Challenge your inner critic with wisdom and kindness, deliberately release the tyranny of unrealistic standards, discover the profound freedom embedded within your imperfections, and above all, cultivate a deep and unwavering self-compassion. This transformative journey will not only liberate you from the shackles of anxiety and self-doubt but will also unlock greater creativity, foster deeper and more authentic connections, and lead you to a more genuinely fulfilling and joyful life. The blueprint of your life is meant to be filled with bold strokes, beautiful smudges, and continuous revisions, each one contributing to the magnificent, evolving masterpiece that is uniquely you. Begin today, one imperfect, compassionate step at a time.

Unlearning Perfection: A Workbook for Embracing Progress and Self-Compassion - Practical Exercises to Challenge Your Inner Critic, Let Go of Unrealistic Standards, and Find Freedom in Imperfection: BUY EBOOK CLICK HARE

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Say goodbye to the endless pursuit of perfection and learn how to embrace imperfection and find true happiness. Watch and enjoy! Granny Ronna. P.S. Here is the "My Mind" visual app I reference in this video:    / @takebackmymind   And if you like my content, consider subscribing here:    / @grannyronna  

[calltoamentor]

Make Creative Blocks Work For You

As someone who struggles frequently with procrastination and perfectionism, let me tell you from experience that there is no one true way to overcome a creative block, particularly not how to overcome a writer's block.

Procrastination and creative blocks are Hounds that those who seek to join a creative field know all too well. It’s a running joke among creatives, “Haha I should be writing right now but I am doing literally anything else!” Honestly, the most relatable thing in the first season of You is the sequence of Beck alternating between trying to write, random googling, Yoga and fiddling with every…

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From Perfectionism to Progress: Aaliya's Story of Breaking Free from Procrastination

Hey there, I’m Aaliya, the pen with a story to tell. I’ve been with my human, V, since 2018, and trust me, it’s been quite the journey. I’ve seen her smile, cry, win, lose, fall in love, and sink into some deep pain. Her path’s been full of confusion, heavy expectations, and, well, let’s just say, a lot of procrastination. But through it all, she’s kept going. That takes courage — even if she’d never admit it.

You see, V’s methods aren’t always the best (and yes, sometimes they suck), but her heart is in the right place. This blog? It’s not about her past (at least, not all of it). It’s about where she’s at right now. But hey, a little context never hurt anyone, right?

V’s Battle with Perfectionism: The Journey to Self-Acceptance

Let’s get one thing straight: V is human. Shocking, right? You’re probably rolling your eyes, but it’s important. She forgets that a lot. In her world, her worth is tied up in accomplishments — money, looks, killer communication skills, friendships, or finding her "perfect" crew (think Luffy’s gang, for you anime fans).

She’s convinced that if she doesn’t check all those boxes, she’s just… not enough. She believes that if she doesn’t have it all, people will leave her behind. And if you’re sitting there thinking, "Well, that’s wrong," you’re absolutely right. But does she know that? Sure. Does she feel it, though? Not quite.

Knowing something’s wrong doesn’t mean you can magically stop feeling it.

Meet the Monster of Procrastination

For too long, V has been stuck battling Profecta — the monster born from perfectionism and procrastination. She’s caught in an exhausting loop where her efforts never feel good enough, and there’s always something more she thinks she should have done. This creates a void inside, filled with guilt and shame, which leads to procrastination — a victory for Profecta, her inner perfectionism.

Has she tried to escape this cycle? Absolutely. But she usually lasts 3-7 days before something breaks her rhythm. Overload or distraction stops her, and it takes her another 1-2 months to get back on track.

Love, Loss, and a Whole Lot of Mess

V, like anyone in their twenties, has loved with all she had. Her first love? Miss K. Yep, Miss. But Miss K didn’t return those feelings. She wasn’t interested in girls, in general. Even though V never fully accepted her feelings or confessed, they stayed friends. Miss K was her Safe Place — full of love, acceptance, care, and support But when their paths diverged, V convinced herself that she wasn’t worthy of Miss K’s time and never contacted her again. Also, those emotions connected to Miss K? Way too overwhelming for V to face.

Two years have passed, and V is still holding on. Too much? Welcome to the mess.

Did she try to move on? Of course! But she couldn’t bring herself to delete Miss K’s number. She’d still watch her stories online, and instead of deleting photos, she just hid them in a folder. Silly, right? But facing her feelings was too hard. So, she buried them under distractions.

Escaping into Fiction: A False Safe Place

When battling the Profecta monster became too much, V sought comfort in a form of escape — creating a fictional world where she felt safe and loved. It became her refuge, but soon it turned into an unhealthy coping mechanism. Instead of preparing for her exams during her gap year, she threw herself into fanfiction, reading it for 13-15 hours a day. Not exaggerating.

She isolated herself from the real world, cut off friends, and stopped replying to messages. Why? Because she felt she wasn’t enough. She’d suffered two huge academic setbacks, and even after taking a gap year, she couldn’t get back on track. The weight of her past failures made the present feel unbearable, so she sought refuge in a fictional world, even at the cost of her health, sleep, and academics.

The Turning Point: Letting Go of Miss K and Fiction

V cared deeply for Miss K and didn’t want to hurt her. She didn’t mind if her escape ruined her, as long as Miss K was safe. But one day, V’s thoughts took a darker turn. She imagined hurting Miss K emotionally, just to make her feel the same pain V was feeling. It shocked her.

That was when V knew she had to change. She deleted Miss K’s number, erased the photos, and cut all ties. She even stopped reading fanfiction — something she had tried and failed to do before.

A New Battle: Seeking Comfort in Unhealthy Escapes

Without her fictional escape, V felt lost. So, she turned to another unhealthy coping mechanism. Let’s just say it involved content that didn’t make her feel any better. She started seeking comfort in role-playing communities, hoping to find real love and comfort. But it only messed with her mental health even more.

Journaling: A Ray of Hope for Healing

Despite all the struggles, there’s been one thing that helps V find her way back: Journaling. When she sticks to it, things start to shift. Journaling helps her process the chaos inside her head. It’s not a perfect solution — she’s had bad days that stop her in her tracks — but it’s a start.

This is why V decided to start writing on Aaliyawrites. Because, let’s face it, Aaliya writes ;) .Through this blog, she hopes to create a space where healing becomes possible, even if the path isn’t always straight.

Building a Community: Sharing Stories and Healing Together

Aaliyawrites isn’t just V’s story. It’s for anyone who’s ever felt lost, stuck, or overwhelmed. V wants this space to be a community where people can share their experiences, support each other, and offer advice. Healing doesn’t happen alone, and through this blog, she hopes to help others feel a little less alone on their journey.

Have you ever battled perfectionism? Or found yourself stuck in an exhausting loop of procrastination? If so, V and I (Aaliya, the pen) would love to hear your story.

George Herbert once said, "Good words are worth much, and cost little."

Your words might be the lifeline someone needs.

So, What’s Next?

V is still figuring things out, but she’s trying. Her journey isn’t linear, and there are still battles with Profecta. But every small step she takes matters. And through Aaliyawrites, she’s hoping to keep moving forward — and hopefully help others do the same.

Please, share your story, give advice, or drop a few words of encouragement. Let’s build a space where we can be open, vulnerable, and support one another on this journey of growth and healing.

Final Thoughts: A New Beginning

This post marks the beginning of something new, not just for V, but for all of us. Together, we can create a space where healing and growth are possible, one step at a time.

Signing off, Aaliya the pen (P.S. — Classic Profecta move: this draft was written four days ago!)

[nevadawolfe]

The unending desire and need to create vs. the absolute disgust and loathing for every imperfect thing that these two hands try to make

[rhapso0odic]

Preface: My (Our Generation’s) Hamartia

My apologies first and foremost for the toil I know is to read my writing. 

I wanted to blog, for the pure purpose of turfing a bald patch in my not-so-spherical globe of abilities – my inability to express my thoughts clearly through written text. Although I am not such a poor writer, I know I have distinct faults when it comes to habits in writing – my banal syntax structuring, my propensity to use the same list of familiar words each time, and just an overall lack of clarity, clearly demonstrated by the previous set of clauses. If you’re very generous you might say you can overlook the patch that I am so ashamed of. My friends – when they read my writing, whilst they acknowledge that it is needlessly convoluted at times, have assured me that it is not simply bad, and although I realise the possibility of them trying to be nice, I do know there is a measure of truth in their assurances. And I do know, – and here I try speaking objectively without sounding like I have a big fat ego, or that I’m no different from those people who claim to be bad at something knowing their claim will be met with outraged defences on their mendacious behalves – that I can attribute this feeling of worthlessness (in some specificity of my life like writing, or just life generally) that inhabit, and often inhibits me, to what I have recently begun to combat: perfectionism.

Now I know that was a horridly chunky sentence. Ironically I didn’t bother cutting it down, trimming it to be true and square and perfect. Because the number one Plan of Action I decide to take is – further ironically and despite what I said a paragraph earlier–  just to accept the flow of writing prima facie of my subconscious and post it in its original thought-processed form (unless it is a complete atrocity). But I will get to that, and the Plans of Action.

It is thrice ironic that I have procrastinated on even starting to actually write. There were multiple things to consider, and as always, I wanted to start once I had everything perfectly in mind and in place. I had to research the possible platforms to post – wordpress? If not, ghost or wix? If so, .com or .org? If .org, domain purchase and plans and dreamhost for management and webhosting? If .com, possible plans and design? The list of considerations would go on and on, and I fell treacherously into the ouroboros of wanting to start → finding a gap in knowledge or some operational uncertainty → research → the gap is filled, uncertainty assured → wanting to start → finding a gap… . I read a lot of adept advices from reddit, and one of the opinions I felt stab right through me – because even then my subconscious recognised that as the most sensible, most actionable thing to do – was to “just start, worry about coding, SEO, the best logo, anything outside of writing, later.” 

… And I dismissed it and moved on to research, to tackle any blindspot in blogging logicalities, as I would do tending to my personality. In the very end, after the painful process of deliberating all minor ifs and if-nots, I decided on Medium and Tumblr for now. 

And I sat, satisfied, and did not act on the deep-seated obligation to blog that I had forcibly stirred up in the beginning of holidays. I did that for two or three weeks. While passingly musing that I’d better start and neglecting that thought  immediately after, time went by. At one point I realised at this rate I would not achieve my goal to start in the holidays, that I’d possibly stave off the whole endeavour after all the initial effort to get started. In those same times, I’d been doing a lot of self-reflection, and one of the things that at one point became starkly clear was that this inaction was due to perfectionism yet again. The inherent need to make my content good and writing of quality was barring access to the plane of creation. I had been waiting for a “perfect timing” to start, convincing myself I’d get one post done by the end of the week, then last day of week come, I’d realise there simply wasn’t enough time, or that a better time yet would be tomorrow. The discomfort of that realisation served me well. 

I decided to just start. Just aiming for 15 minutes a day, forcing myself to write, and build a habit. Inevitably those 15 minutes would stretch out for longer duration, by the law of inertia. Once you start, it would be easier to keep going, and you’d be surprised to see that you are actually achieving that intimidating ‘1-hour-writing-time’ goal you set out and decided to scratch out, replace with a more manageable ‘15 minutes’. It is always the initial friction in taking action that is difficult to overcome. 

And to not be needlessly concerned with the quality of writing. Simple words, just to clearly get the message across. I’d vowed this year not to fall into the fallacy of creating ornate sentences just to “sound good” in the expanse of readability. In all previous years I’d simply denied myself working with a draft system in writing, and would lapse into repeated times of staring at the blank page thirty minutes to two hours at a time just to type out one feeble sentence. Now is the time to break the habit.  

I mention these realisations because they would become the founding or the very initial ‘Plan-of-Actions’ I’ll start blogging about to help me realistically bear living by self-entrenched rules of perfectionism. Because I realise I probably can’t get rid of it, only manage it. 

I know that this self-proclaimed hamartia of mine is not unique to me; it ails a large portion of my generation. We are all ambitious at heart, we want great success and a future where we don’t have to worry so deeply about retirement plans. Magnified, we all have that one project at every moment we want to realise, either for a dream, a hobby, or for self-betterment. But a lot of us are not willing to put in an effort, this involuntary laziness coming from the fear that the effort won’t amount to anything. Or that it is simply useless – but that further cycles back to the perfectionism mindset, that it’s not worth the start if you can’t achieve something great from the very beginning. 

So, 

Day 1:

Just start, even for 5 minutes. Don’t wait. 

For me: Be not afraid of writing mistakes. Just write! Fix later. For everything: Take action, and make mistakes, fix and learn as you go. Don’t get caught up in vacillation. 

What was funny is that I had come across these suggested practices miles back in time – and had realised it to be the patent thing to do. The only fault was that these things generally sound so much like useless truisms in their utter plainness, that I’d simply turned away from them as I thought they were not the mind-changing life-altering strategies important to note. 

It was only around now I began to realise that those were concrete steps you could take.  

[financia012]

What Have You Been Putting Off Doing? Why?

What have you been putting off doing? Why? Introduction: We all have that one thing we’ve been meaning to do but somehow never get around to. Whether it’s a personal goal, a long-overdue project, or even a life-changing decision, it lingers in the back of our minds, waiting for “the right time.” But why do we keep putting it off? What is it about certain tasks that makes them so hard to start?…

[arimeghlen]

Ep 209 | The Merry Writer Podcast

In today’s episode, Rachel and I share our own dealings with perfectionism and discuss some methods that can help when dealing with it. “How Do You Deal With The Problem of Perfectionism?” Continue reading Ep 209 | The Merry Writer Podcast

[honestkindlereviews]

The Joyful Doer: A New Path to Fulfillment Beyond the Hustle

I used to believe my worth was quantifiable, something I could track in a spreadsheet. It was measured in hours worked, emails answered after midnight, and the sheer volume of tasks I could check off my list. My professional identity was built on a foundation of "hustle"—a relentless, caffeine-fueled pursuit of more. I was celebrated for it. I was promoted for it. And, inevitably, I was broken by it.

My breaking point wasn't a single, dramatic event. It was a slow, creeping erosion of self. It was looking in the mirror one morning and not recognizing the tired, anxious person staring back. I was succeeding by every conventional metric, yet I felt a profound sense of failure. In my quest to be a high-performer, I had optimized the joy right out of my life. My "productivity" had become a cage, and I realized I had built it myself.

The Joyful Doer: Finding Flow and Fulfillment in Gentle Productivity: How to Prioritize Your Energy, Set Soul-Aligned Goals, and Reclaim Your Time for What Truly Matters: BUY EBOOK CLICK HARE

That realization sparked a quiet rebellion. It was a rebellion not against work itself, but against the toxic culture of overwork that we've been conditioned to see as normal. It led me down a path of rediscovery, blending modern science with timeless wisdom to forge a new relationship with productivity—one rooted in gentleness, purpose, and self-compassion. I call this framework "The Joyful Doer," and it's not about doing more, but about being more present, energized, and fulfilled in the work you choose to do.

The Gentle Productivity Revolution: A Framework for Humans

The dominant productivity narrative is built for machines. It’s about optimization, efficiency, and relentless output. But we are not machines. We are cyclical, emotional, and beautifully imperfect beings. The Gentle Productivity Framework is a radical acknowledgment of our humanity. It’s a model that swaps pressure and perfectionism for purpose and peace.

The core principle is revolutionary in its simplicity: your well-being is the foundation of your best work. When you prioritize your health, energy, and inner alignment, sustainable and meaningful productivity becomes the natural byproduct.

H3: Moving from a Culture of Scarcity to a Mindset of Sufficiency

Hustle culture is perpetuated by a myth of scarcity. It tells you there's never enough time, you're not doing enough, and you are not enough. This breeds a low-grade, constant anxiety that keeps you running on a treadmill of busyness.

Gentle productivity invites you into a mindset of sufficiency. It's the understanding that you have enough time for what truly matters. It's the recognition that your worth is inherent, not earned through exhaustion. It's the grace to accept that some days are for planting seeds and others are for harvesting, and many are simply for letting the soil rest. This shift doesn't mean you accomplish less; it means you accomplish what matters with more ease and less internal friction.

Your Energy, Not Your Time, Is Your Greatest Asset

We are a culture obsessed with time management. We use apps, calendars, and complex systems to schedule every minute of our day. But managing time is only half the equation. A perfectly scheduled day is useless if you're too drained to engage with it.

I discovered that the true key to sustainable achievement is energy management. Your energy—physical, mental, and emotional—is the fuel for everything you do. Protecting and intentionally directing it is the most productive thing you can do.

H3: Identifying and Plugging Your "Energy Leaks"

Think of your energy as a reservoir. Throughout the day, certain activities and mindsets act as "leaks," draining your resources. These can be obvious, like lack of sleep, or more subtle, like tolerating a messy workspace, engaging in gossip, or doomscrolling through social media.

I began a practice of conducting a daily "energy audit." I would mindfully note which activities left me feeling energized and which left me feeling depleted. The findings were a revelation. I realized how much energy I was wasting on things that didn't align with my values. By consciously plugging these leaks—setting boundaries, curating my information diet, and creating a more calming environment—I reclaimed a massive amount of energy that I could then invest in my most important work and relationships.

Soul-Aligned Goals: Your Inner Compass

Traditional goal setting often feels like being handed a map and told to follow it, regardless of whether the destination is somewhere you actually want to go. We chase promotions, salary bumps, and external markers of success because we're told we should. The result is often a hollow victory.

Soul-aligned goal setting is about throwing away the map and learning to use your inner compass. Your compass is your unique set of values, passions, and curiosities. A goal is "soul-aligned" when it resonates with this inner guidance system. It feels less like a task you have to force and more like a path you're excited to explore.

H3: The Litmus Test for a Soul-Aligned Goal

How can you tell if a goal is truly aligned with your soul? I use a simple litmus test. When I consider a potential goal, I ask myself:

Does this feel expansive or contractive? An aligned goal should feel open, exciting, and expansive in your body. A misaligned goal often feels tight, heavy, and restrictive.

Is this rooted in "love" or "fear"? Are you moving toward something you genuinely desire (love), or are you trying to move away from a fear of failure, judgment, or inadequacy (fear)?

Will the process of pursuing this goal bring me joy? While challenges are inevitable, the overall journey of an aligned goal should be one that energizes you, not one you have to endure just for the outcome.

When your goals pass this test, motivation ceases to be a struggle. It becomes the natural energy that pulls you forward.

The Myth of Motivation: Overcoming Procrastination with Compassion

I used to believe that to beat procrastination, I needed more discipline, more willpower, more "motivation." I would wait for inspiration to strike, and when it didn't, I'd beat myself up for being lazy. This is the great myth of motivation: the idea that it's a feeling that must precede action.

In reality, it's the other way around: action creates motivation. The challenge, of course, is taking that first step, especially when perfectionism is whispering in your ear that it won't be good enough. The most powerful tool for taking that first step is self-compassion.

H3: The Power of the "Two-Minute Rule"

Self-compassion disarms perfectionism by giving you permission to be a beginner, to be messy, to be imperfect. It replaces the harsh inner critic with a kinder, more encouraging inner coach. When I combined this mindset with a practical strategy, the game changed.

I adopted the "Two-Minute Rule," popularized by James Clear. The idea is to scale down any new habit or daunting task until it can be done in two minutes or less. "Read a book" becomes "Read one page." "Write a report" becomes "Open the document and write one sentence." This makes the barrier to entry so low that it's almost impossible to say no. That tiny action creates a ripple of momentum, which in turn generates the motivation to continue. You're no longer waiting for a feeling; you're creating it.

The Dance of Flow: Engineering Optimal Experience

Flow, that coveted state of being "in the zone," is the pinnacle of joyful productivity. It’s where performance and fulfillment meet. It feels effortless, but it’s not accidental. Flow is a state that can be engineered by creating the right conditions. I think of it as a dance between structure and freedom.

H3: Creating a "Flow-Friendly" Environment

Flow arises when your skills are perfectly matched with the challenge at hand. It requires a clear goal and immediate feedback on your progress. But above all, it requires a sacred space, free from distractions.

Creating a "flow-friendly" environment means being ruthless about protecting your attention. For me, this means putting my phone in another room, using a website blocker, and sometimes even wearing noise-canceling headphones. It's about creating a "deep work" ritual that signals to your brain that it's time to focus. This structure provides the container, the dance floor, within which you have the freedom to lose yourself in your work and perform at your peak.

Bookending Your Day: The Power of Ritual

How you start and end your day has a disproportionate impact on your overall sense of well-being and productivity. Intentional rituals act as "bookends," protecting your peace and creating a clear separation between your personal and professional life.

H3: The Sunrise and Sunset of Your Day

My morning ritual is my anchor. Before I let the world in—before the emails and the news—I take time for myself. It’s a simple combination of hydration, sunlight, movement, and a moment of quiet reflection on my intentions for the day. It’s not about adding more to my to-do list; it's about grounding myself so I can navigate the day from a place of centeredness.

The "shutdown ritual" at the end of the workday is just as crucial. It involves a final check of emails, planning the top priorities for the next day, and then a physical action—like closing my laptop and tidying my desk—that signifies the workday is over. This simple act prevents work from bleeding into my evening, allowing me to be fully present for my family and for my own restoration.

Your Invitation to a More Joyful Way of Doing

This journey from burnout to balance has been about more than just changing my work habits; it's been about reclaiming myself. It's about understanding that the goal of life is not to be a perfect, productive machine, but to be a joyful, fulfilled human being.

Consider this your invitation to step off the hamster wheel. This is your permission to redefine success on your own terms. You don't have to sacrifice your well-being for achievement. You can have both. By embracing a gentler, more human approach to productivity, you can build a life where you not only get meaningful things done but also find deep joy and fulfillment in the process. You were made to thrive, not just survive.

The Joyful Doer: Finding Flow and Fulfillment in Gentle Productivity: How to Prioritize Your Energy, Set Soul-Aligned Goals, and Reclaim Your Time for What Truly Matters: BUY EBOOK CLICK HARE

[astrologydray]

Saturn through the degrees 🪐🪐

🪐Saturn represents discipline, structure, responsibility, karma, and life lessons. The degree it occupies in your natal chart refines how you experience challenges, maturity, and long-term success.

0° Saturn – The Pure Authority

• Born with a strong sense of duty and leadership.

• Challenges arise early, but rewards come with patience.

1° Saturn – The Determined Initiator

• Takes responsibility seriously but may struggle with self-doubt.

• Must develop confidence in their abilities.

2° Saturn – The Stable Builder

• Creates long-lasting success through steady effort.

• Struggles with perfectionism but thrives in practical work.

3° Saturn – The Communicative Mentor

• Learns and teaches through spoken or written word.

• Must overcome fear of expressing authority.

4° Saturn – The Structured Traditionalist

• Highly disciplined and prefers tradition over change.

• Finds success in law, government, or stability-focused careers.

5° Saturn – The Confident Creator

• Can become a powerful leader, but needs self-trust.

• Struggles with balancing authority and flexibility.

6° Saturn – The Relationship Balancer

• Life lessons come through commitment, partnerships, and fairness.

• Can be overly cautious in love and business.

7° Saturn – The Mystic Realist

• Struggles between spirituality and realism.

• Finds discipline through philosophy, esoteric studies, or science.

8° Saturn – The Strategic Powerhouse

• Gains success through strategy, patience, and resilience.

• Must avoid controlling tendencies.

9° Saturn – The Expansive Teacher

• Learns through life experiences and global perspectives.

• Can feel restricted but eventually gains wisdom through travel or philosophy.

10° Saturn – The Manifestation Master

• Has a natural ability to turn visions into reality.

• Success comes from long-term planning and perseverance.

11° Saturn – The Revolutionary Authority

• Struggles with rules but eventually creates new systems.

• Can bring innovation into traditional structures.

12° Saturn – The Dreamy Worker

• A mix of practicality and creativity, needs discipline to ground dreams.

• May struggle with self-doubt or escapism.

13° Saturn – The Fearless Decision-Maker

• Gains strength through resolute choices.

• Must learn to trust instincts and avoid hesitation.

14° Saturn – The Balance Seeker

• Challenges arise in finding equilibrium between work and personal life.

• Can become an excellent mediator or peacemaker.

15° Saturn – The Legacy Builder

• Naturally drawn to leaving a mark on the world.

• Must embrace responsibility and avoid fear of failure.

16° Saturn – The Wise Guide

• Life lessons push them toward mentorship, coaching, or teaching.

• May experience early hardships that shape wisdom.

17° Saturn – The Fearless Worker

• Has strong work ethic but struggles with overworking or burnout.

• Must learn to delegate and balance effort with rest.

18° Saturn – The Deep Thinker

• Drawn to psychology, philosophy, or investigative fields.

• May struggle with rigid thinking or emotional suppression.

19° Saturn – The Bold Risk-Taker

• Learns through trial and error, often facing big life lessons.

• Gains strength through calculated risk-taking.

20° Saturn – The Patient Master

• Success is delayed but deeply rewarding.

• Must embrace delayed gratification and persistence.

21° Saturn – The Public Figure

• Challenges come through fame, public recognition, or societal roles.

• Must learn to balance personal integrity with external expectations.

22° Saturn – The Master Builder (Karmic Degree)

• Highly karmic placement, linked to great achievements or downfall.

• Requires extreme discipline, focus, and integrity.

23° Saturn – The Strategic Risk-Taker

• Learns when to push forward and when to retreat.

• Can be very calculated in business, finances, or leadership.

24° Saturn – The Romantic Realist

• Life lessons often involve love, creativity, or beauty.

• Must balance idealism with practicality.

25° Saturn – The Spiritual Worker

• Gains wisdom through spiritual studies, healing, or devotion.

• Needs structure to ground spiritual growth.

26° Saturn – The Reserved Strategist

• Prefers to work behind the scenes rather than be in the spotlight.

• Success comes through long-term planning and steady execution.

27° Saturn – The Karmic Healer

• Deeply tied to ancestral karma and healing generational wounds.

• Can become a great mentor, therapist, or spiritual guide.

28° Saturn – The Bold Traditionalist

• Faces power struggles with authority but ultimately becomes a leader.

• Can challenge old systems or reinforce them in a more evolved way.

29° Saturn – The Fated Leader (Anaretic Degree)

• Intensely karmic, often signaling a life of heavy responsibility.

• May feel like they are “tested” more than others.

• Must embrace maturity, responsibility, and resilience to succeed.

[riversenchanted]

Where you are most powerful based on your Pluto placement

Each placement of Pluto brings its unique energy to the themes of power and transformation, influencing how individuals navigate their lives and respond to the challenges they encounter.

Pluto 1st house/ Aries: Assertiveness, pioneering spirit, and leadership. Individuals may experience power through initiation, courage, and a desire to break new ground. These placements may find transformation through self-discovery and identity. There can be a strong drive to assert oneself and overcome obstacles.

Pluto 2nd house/Taurus: Material wealth, stability, and sensuality. Power may come through financial resources, values, and a connection to nature. Transformation may be found in redefining self-worth and material security. Individuals may undergo transformations in their relationship with possessions and comfort.

Pluto 3rd house/ Gemini: Communication, intellect, and social connections. Power may come through knowledge, adaptability, and networking. Transformation of ideas and beliefs. This placement may emphasize the importance of mastering communication and understanding dualities.

Pluto 4th house/ Cancer: Emotional depth, family, and nurturing. Power can be found in domestic life and emotional bonds. Transformation is found through emotional healing and transformation of family dynamics. Individuals may confront deep-seated emotional issues and redefine their sense of security.

Pluto 5th house/Leo: Creativity, self-expression, and leadership. Power may be expressed through artistic talents and personal charisma. Transformation of ego and personal identity. Individuals may need to confront their need for recognition and validation.

Pluto 6th house/Virgo: Service, analysis, and health. Power can be derived from attention to detail, organization, and practical skills. Transformation through work and self-improvement. Individuals may face issues related to perfectionism and health and need to find ways to overcome those obstacles.

Pluto 7th house/Libra: Relationships, balance, and harmony. Power is often found in partnerships and social interactions. Transformation of relationships and social dynamics. Individuals may confront issues of dependency, fairness, and justice.

Pluto 8th house/Scorpio: Deep emotional insight, Magnetism,Passion, exploring the taboo, sexuality. Those with this placement are equipped to navigate the complexities of life with intensity and purpose, often emerging as powerful agents of change in their own lives and the lives of others. Their journey is one of embracing both the light and dark aspects of existence, leading to a rich and transformative life experience.

Pluto 9th house/Sagittarius: Exploration, philosophy, and freedom. Power can come from a quest for knowledge and truth.Transformation of beliefs and worldviews. Individuals may seek to expand their horizons and challenge dogmas.

Pluto 10th house/Capricorn: Authority, structure, and ambition. Power may manifest through career achievements and societal status. Transformation of ambition and societal structures. Individuals may grapple with authority and their own ambitions.

Pluto 11th house / Aquarius: Innovation, humanitarianism, and individuality. Power can be derived from progressive ideas and social reform. Transformation of social norms and collective consciousness. Individuals may focus on breaking free from tradition and embracing change.

Pluto 12th house/ Pisces: Spirituality, intuition, and compassion. Power can be found in emotional depth and a connection to the mystical.Transformation through spirituality and surrender. Individuals may confront issues related to escapism, addiction, and emotional healing.

[rainydetectiveglitter]

Where You Feel Restricted & How to Overcome It

Saturn in the Houses

Saturn doesn't hand out anything for free. It rules discipline, restriction, and life’s hardest lessons. Wherever Saturn sits in your chart, you feel blocked, delayed, or like you have to work twice as hard to get what comes easily to others.

But Saturn’s lessons aren’t about punishment—they’re about mastery. If you push through the struggle, this is where you build unshakable strength.

Saturn in the 1st House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: You feel like you carry a heavy burden from birth. Maybe you grew up too fast, always feeling responsible, mature, or serious. Self-doubt is constant—you judge yourself harshly and struggle with confidence.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: You are meant to develop unshakable self-respect. Confidence won’t come overnight, but every time you take yourself seriously and trust your worth, you get stronger. Stop seeking outside validation. You don’t need anyone’s approval to exist.

Saturn in the 2nd House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: You struggle with self-worth, financial stability, and feeling "enough." Maybe money never feels secure, or you work tirelessly without ever feeling like you deserve success. Even if you HAVE money, you might feel guilty spending it.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Self-worth isn’t built on external validation. You must learn that you are valuable, even when you’re not producing, earning, or "proving" yourself. Money is a tool, not a prison—build a stable foundation, but don’t let fear control you.

Saturn in the 3rd House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: You struggle with expressing yourself. Maybe you felt unheard as a child, doubted your intelligence, or have trouble voicing your needs. Learning might feel like an uphill battle.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Structure your thoughts, find your voice, and trust your mind. Stop holding back out of fear of sounding "stupid"—your wisdom is earned, and when you speak, people listen.

Saturn in the 4th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: Home and family were cold, distant, or burdened with responsibility. You might feel emotionally guarded, disconnected, or like you had to raise yourself.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: You must build your own safe space. This might mean cutting toxic family ties, redefining what “home” means, or learning to trust emotional support. Healing your inner child is key.

Saturn in the 5th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: Fun feels like a waste of time. You struggle to let go, be playful, or enjoy yourself without guilt. Maybe you fear looking foolish or feel blocked creatively.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Joy is NOT a luxury—it’s necessary. Give yourself permission to create without perfection, love without fear, and enjoy life without guilt. Play is productive.

Saturn in the 6th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: You feel trapped by responsibilities. Work and daily routines are exhausting. You might battle perfectionism, burnout, or chronic health issues.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Balance is survival. You don’t have to "earn" rest—your body and mind need it. Productivity is important, but so is sustainability. Pace yourself.

Saturn in the 7th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: Relationships are heavy. You may fear commitment, attract karmic partners, or feel alone even when with someone. Trust doesn’t come easily.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Love takes TIME. You’re not meant for surface-level relationships—you need something real. Learn to set boundaries, take commitment seriously, and trust that the right people will stay.

Saturn in the 8th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: You fear loss, change, and vulnerability. The idea of fully trusting someone (emotionally, financially, or sexually) terrifies you. Money may come with struggles (especially shared finances or inheritance).

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Death, loss, and change are inevitable. Instead of resisting transformation, lean into it. The more you embrace life’s cycles, the more powerful you become.

Saturn in the 9th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: Faith and belief systems feel rigid or blocked. You may struggle with dogma, feeling disconnected from purpose, or fearing the unknown.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Knowledge is freedom. Keep learning, exploring, and questioning. Your wisdom isn’t found in blind faith—it’s built through experience.

Saturn in the 10th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: Success feels slow and exhausting. You might struggle with imposter syndrome, career setbacks, or heavy expectations.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: You are meant to build something lasting. Your success won’t be instant, but when it comes, it will be unshakable. Play the long game.

Saturn in the 11th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: Fitting in feels impossible. You may struggle with friendships, feel like an outsider, or attract older/serious social circles.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: You are NOT meant to blend in. You attract deep, meaningful connections—quality over quantity. Find people who truly align with your values.

Saturn in the 12th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: You feel trapped in your mind. Fears, anxieties, or self-sabotaging patterns keep you stuck. You might struggle with isolation or spiritual confusion.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Your mind is a battlefield—but you CAN win. Healing, spirituality, and self-reflection are your tools. Learn to master your subconscious, and you’ll find deep inner power.

yuh

[theambitiouswoman]

Where does anxiety come from and how to overcome it

Anxiety is your body’s natural response to perceived danger and comes from your nervous system trying to protect you

It can stem from:

Unprocessed trauma

Chronic stress

Negative thought loops

Poor gut health and inflammation in the body

Nervous system dysregulation

Nutritional deficiencies

Suppressed emotions

Perfectionism or people pleasing

Ways to deal with anxiety:

Magnesium glycinate or taurine to calm nervous system

Going on walks, pilates, stretching

Breath work

Balancing your blood sugar

Cut stimulants

Challenge intrusive thoughts

Journaling

Setting boundaries

Grounding

Humming, singing, cold face splashes

This is very general advice, also not medical advice :)

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Why Writers Don't Finish Writing Their Stories, and How to Fix It

Hello fellow writers and storytellers,

The journey of writing a story is an exhilarating adventure, but it's not without its share of obstacles. Many of us have embarked on a creative endeavor, only to find ourselves mired in the struggle to finish what we started. In this blog post, I'll unravel the common reasons why writers don't finish their stories and explore practical strategies to overcome these hurdles and reignite the flame of creativity.

The Perils of Unfinished Stories

As writers, we often find ourselves in the throes of unfinished tales, grappling with the intricate web of characters, plots, and themes. There are several reasons why the ink dries up and the story remains untold. Let's shine a light on the familiar adversaries that stand between us and the triumphant completion of our narratives:

1. Lack of Planning:

Some of us brazenly dive into our stories without a clear roadmap, resulting in uncertainty about the direction of the plot and the fate of our characters. The lack of a solid plan can lead us astray, leaving our stories wandering in the wilderness of aimlessness.

2. Self-Doubt and Perfectionism:

Ah, the relentless whispers of self-doubt and the siren call of perfectionism! These twin adversaries can cast a shadow over our creative vision, compelling us to endlessly revise and perfect the early chapters, trapping us in a whirlpool of perpetual edits.

3. Time Management:

Balancing the demands of daily life with the ardor of writing can be akin to walking a tightrope. The struggle to find consistent time for our craft often leaves our stories languishing in prolonged periods of inactivity, longing for the touch of our pen.

4. Writer's Block:

The mighty barrier that even the most intrepid writers encounter. Writer's block can be an insurmountable mountain, leaving us stranded in the valleys of creative drought, unable to breathe life into new ideas and narratives.

5. Lack of Motivation:

The flame that once burned brightly can flicker and wane over time, leaving us adrift in the murky waters of disillusionment. The initial excitement for our stories diminishes, making it arduous to stay committed to the crafting process.

6. Fear of Failure or Success:

The twin specters that haunt many writers' dreams. The apprehension of rejection and the unsettling prospect of life-altering success can tether us to the shores of hesitation, preventing us from reaching the shores of completion.

7. Criticism and Feedback Anxiety:

The looming dread of judgment casts a long shadow over our creative endeavors. The mere thought of receiving criticism or feedback, whether from peers or potential readers, can cast a cloud over our storytelling pursuits.

8. Plotting Challenges:

Crafting a cohesive and engaging plot is akin to navigating a labyrinth without a map. Faced with hurdles in connecting story elements, we may find ourselves lost in a maze of plot holes and unresolved threads.

9. Character Development Struggles:

Breathing life into multi-dimensional, relatable characters is a complex art. The intricate process of character development can become a quagmire, ensnaring us in the challenge of creating personas that drive the story forward. (Part one of Character Development Series)

10. Life Events and Distractions:

Unexpected events in our personal lives can cast ripples on our writing routines, interrupting the flow of our creativity and causing a loss of momentum.

Rallying Against the Odds: Strategies for Success

Now that we've confronted the adversaries that threaten to stall our storytelling odysseys, let's arm ourselves with strategies to conquer these barriers and reignite the flames of our creativity.

Embrace the Power of Planning:

A clear roadmap illuminates the path ahead. Arm yourself with outlines, character sketches, and plot maps to pave the way for your story's journey.

Vanquish Self-Doubt with Action:

Silence the voices of doubt with the power of progress. Embrace the imperfect beauty of your early drafts, knowing that every word brings you closer to the finish line.

Mastering the Art of Time:

Carve out sacred writing time in your schedule. Whether it’s ten minutes or two hours, every moment dedicated to your craft is a step forward.

Conquering Writer's Block:

Embrace the freedom of imperfection. Write, even if the words feel like scattered puzzle pieces. The act of writing can unravel the most stubborn knots of writer's block.

Reigniting the Flame of Motivation:

Seek inspiration in the wonders of the world. Reconnect with the heart of your story, rediscovering the passion that set your creative spirit ablaze.

Reshaping Fear into Fuel:

Embrace the uncertainty as an integral part of the creative journey. Embrace the lessons within rejection and prepare for the winds of change that success may bring.

Navigating the Realm of Criticism:

Embrace feedback as a catalyst for growth. Constructive criticism is a powerful ally, shaping your story into a work of art that resonates with readers.

Weaving the Threads of Plot:

Connect the dots with fresh eyes. Step back and survey the tapestry of your plot, seeking innovative solutions to bridge the gaps and untangle the knots.

Breathing Life into Characters:

Engage with your characters as if they were old friends. Dive into their depths, unraveling their quirks, fears, and dreams, and watch as they breathe life into your story.

Navigating Life's Tempests:

Embrace the ebb and flow of life. Every pause in your writing journey is a chance to gather new experiences and perspectives, enriching your storytelling tapestry.

The Ever-Resting Pen: Harnessing the Power Within

Fellow writers, the journey of completing a story is filled with peaks and valleys, each offering us the opportunity to sharpen our resolve and unleash our creative potential. As we stand at the crossroads, staring at the canvas of unfinished tales, let's rally against the odds, armed with the power of purpose, passion, and perseverance.

Let the ink flow once more, breathing life into tales left untold, and watch as your stories triumphantly reach their long-awaited conclusion. You possess the power to conquer the adversaries that stand in your way, and within you lies the essence of untold narratives waiting to unfurl onto the page.

Here's to the journey that lies ahead, the stories waiting to be written, and the unyielding spirit of creativity that thrives within each of us.

Warm regards and unwavering encouragement, Ren T.

[makingspiritualityreal]

The Jupiter Nakshatra Stage comes with the final realization, that being good is not about a one time act of heroism, but about a continuous choice, that turns into a habit. Being good only has value, when we manage to be good despite the bad around us and the bad in ourselves. By doing so, we win very serious battles by standing up for what’s right.

This starts in Punarvasu, where this realization first hits, which is why this Nakshatra is associated with the concept of being “good and good again” and the phenomenon of continuous renewal. Goodness is not about never making a mistake, but always returning to one’s commitment to fix it and do better next time. That perfectionism is achieved in the next Saturn Nakshatra stage, but the buildup of the emotional motivation towards the right direction occurs under Jupiter. Since Ardra deals with fundamental flaws of mankind, our downfall due to the lowness of human condition and the brutal self awareness of our own imperfection, Punarvasu’s job is to create a habit of doing better despite these flaws, and through that create a habit of effectively becoming a better person.

In Swati, we achieve natural freedom and authentic sovereignty, Swati being the exaltation point of Saturn. In Vishakha, we learn how to use that capacity to navigate and that lightness that lets us influence people easily, to influence them positively. Vishakha’s association with victory is really about victory over lowness of human inconsistencies and difficulty with claiming responsibility for one’s conquests. We learn, that the results of one’s freedom should be enjoyable and focused towards accomplishment, which is why Vishakha is also called the star of focus.

I already touched on the mythology of Purva Bhadrapada and its presence in popular culture in my past posts, but here is where the morality aspect is the most difficult, because here one needs to create the habit to be unconditionally good towards society and collective matters. Thus, Purva Bhadrapada continuously overcomes their own symbol, the man with two faces, wrestling with the most intense Jupiterian demons of the whole zodiac, because with greater money, power and opportunity comes greater temptation.

[ataleofcrowns]

Hey! I love AToC and have been following its development for a few years now. But whenever a new chapter was released, and I sat down to read it, I often found it hard to carve out time to do so. So, it got me thinking - if it’s hard for me to read it consistently, how much more difficult must it be to write it consistently? It is admirable the act of writing this takes, And while I’m sure there are slower periods in the whole process, it’s inspirational how you dedicate time to writing. I write sometimes, definitely not a lot, and I want to dabble in a few short stories. So, how do you put in that time or really cultivate that habit of writing - especially when pesky "IRL logistics" get in the way? Are there any specific rituals or routines that help overcome such circumstantial challenges? I’ve been in a bit of a rut with the pen lately, and honestly, hearing anything - whether it’s how you approach sitting down to write or just your thoughts on the process - would be incredibly helpful at best and, at the very least, really interesting to hear! Appreciate you sharing your thoughts if you’re able :p

I take an ice bath, chug 6 cans of energy drink back to back, sit down and white knuckle my desk while yelling "LOCK IN" and write 10k words in one hour-

Ok but seriously, I appreciate the ask!! 💖

And honestly it's just a matter of forming the habit, at least for me. I try to write at the same time every day. For me that's in the evenings since I'm more productive at night, but other people might feel more productive in the morning or the afternoon, it all depends! Once it becomes a habit it's much easier to switch your brain to Writing Mode around the same time every day.

When you first start trying to form the habit, don't be down on yourself if you don't get a lot of writing done at first. Try to write things that pique your interest, even if the scenes or snippets aren't in chronological order. Getting something on the page is what's most important!

Also, don't be too hard on yourself while writing, and try not to edit while you write either. This is a bad habit I used to have that I had to unlearn because of my perfectionism, but it's perfectly fine to have a bare bones first draft that you can return to filling out later. Your first draft is not supposed to be perfect, so just focus on writing it first, and evaluating it later.

And write what you feel inspired to write! Like, sometimes I can't be bothered to write out descriptions or character actions, but I get inspired to write a certain conversation between characters, so I literally skip all the descriptive words and only write out the dialogue. Other times I feel inspired by worldbuilding that I want to add, or an environment that I really want to describe, so I write snippets for that, etc.

I also like setting wordcount goals for myself because I get a dopamine boost when I hit the target and it feels like I accomplished something. If you go that route, start out small! Like 250 words every day for example, and as you get into it, bump it up little by little. It also feels good if you go over your wordcount goal, at least for me.

Some other minor things that have helped me: putting on background music (ymmv), removing all potential distractions by closing everything on my pc and fullscreening my writing program, ensuring I have a place where I can write uninterrupted, drinking my favorite tea, motivating myself with rewards for once I hit my wordcount goal (snacks/video games/watching a show).

I hope any of this is useful for you!!