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#I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HOW THE MOVIE HANDLES HIS ARC
sophfandoms53 · 2 years
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Thinking about how much Leo has grown as a leader and a ninja to the point of being Master Leonardo
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kindlythevoid · 11 months
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M:I Dead Reckoning Spoilers
This is your last warning.
OKAY so on the one hand, I cannot believe they killed off Ilsa!! Did they do a good job of foreshadowing it? Yes, I saw it coming a mile away even before they got to the bridge. However, (in my opinion) it was a disappointing move.
I was so down for Hayley Atwell to be in this movie. In fact, I still really love her character + character development over the course of the movie!! I think she was well fleshed out for her first movie!! But just because they introduced a new character (and dare I even say… love interest???) does not mean they can kill off the only other female on the team. They one-hundred-percent fridged her for the sake of Ethan’s dilemma later on in the movie, and that was after they already set up the first fridge in the beginning of the movie to show how angry/scared he was of this guy.
Furthermore, they killed her off to perpetuate Ethan’s tragic love life. We know that before Ethan joined the IMF, his SO was killed by Gabriel. In the first movie, the woman he was seeing on his team is killed with the rest of them in the beginning of the movie. We never hear from the thief (Ms. Hall?) after the second. Julia we know fakes her death and becomes a ghost after the third movie. And then, in Fallout, it seems like Ethan’s finally given permission (by Julia or himself or the circumstances, take your pick) to move on and be with Ilsa. Only for it to all fall apart in the very next movie!!
There was no reason to kill off Ilsa. It was bad writing, especially after hinting at Grace being his next love interest and killing off Ilsa because of her. There was no reason for Grace not to get along with everyone as friends in the IMF or as a contact or what have you and still have Ilsa as Ethan’s SO as well as a rogue agent/in the IMF/ghost contact.
That being said.
Now that I have finished blaming the writers, I must congratulate them in the way they handled Ilsa’s death. I mentioned earlier that I was able to see Ilsa’s death foreshadowed in the cinematography and the overall feel and narrative of the movie. Faking her death in the beginning of the movie to prime the audience for her real death later, having her face blown up on the tv screen behind the director when he tells Ethan that continuing this path will cost him, and the overly blatant call out of the entity that she was closer to the bridge than Ethan.
Concerning the bridge itself, I feel like it was somewhat ridiculous to have Ilsa carry a sword over a gun, but those feelings aside the sword v knife fight was freaking awesome. They did do her (as well as Grace before) justice in the fight against Gabriel in the fact that visually they were really cool looking fights and they weren’t taken out in two swings.
And on the matter of Grace’s presence at the bridge, I have to say it was very in character for Ilsa to pursue Gabriel in an effort to save Grace. From our first meeting with Ilsa, she was always willing to put an ally’s life before her own (just as Ethan is so prone to doing) and so character-wise, it makes sense for Ilsa to go in without backup, without waiting.
Am I still mad that she died? Absolutely! I could also talk about their usage and subsequent disposal of Paris (a really awesome and fun character; tbh I am not totally sure that’s her name), but right now I wanted to focus on Ilsa’s death as Paris’s role in the movie requires her own pros and cons list. However, I can say that I (personally) think that it was handled much better than some other movies deal with their characters deaths. Overall, it was a fantastic movie and I will be watching part two next year to see how they round off this arc.
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deadpool1763492 · 1 year
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New TMNT: Mutant Mayhem leak, spoilers below the cut.
I have so much to say about this leak, so let me just list it all out.
1. I love their dialogue. They act like genuine teenagers and it's amazing. I also love how they're not trying to use too much "teenage slang" like so many other shows and movies do to the point that it just ends up cringey. They're putting tidbits here and there, and it's just enough to make it believable.
2. The random references they're putting in it are amazing. Donnie saying he's the Matt Damon of the group? Perfect. The pop culture references in this movie are going to be amazing. Does this mean we're actually getting some Jujutsu Kaisen references from Donnie as well? If we do, let's hope it's nothing too big that'll spoil things for people who haven't seen it yet.
3. Interesting characterization for Raph and Donnie in this leak. Raph is the most excited to go to school apparently, which we wouldn't really expect at face value, but they might be going for something similar to the 2003 version of Raph. What I'm specifically referring to is issue #5 of the mini comic series they released that has Raph wishing they could be part of the real world. If that's the case, I'm interested in seeing his dynamic with characters like Leo, who are usually pretty content with their current lifestyles.
4. The turtles are using April for some reason? Apparently they're trying to get a way for them to go to school, which could indicate they've possibly discovered a way to either become human or at least pass as human, which could be interesting. Part of the story may be a whole learning arc for the turltes (especially Leo) in how to actually handle the trust someone has for them.
5. THE. RAT. KING. FINALLY the writers are utilizing villains besides the Shredder and Kraang and I literally cannot wait for it. The Rat King is one of, if not my favourite TMNT villains ever created and he's almost always underused. With that Scooby-Doo reference they threw in there, they might be trying to use the "big wig in a mask" cliché as a red herring for a villain that's ACTUALLY a mutant, not just someone who's pretending to be a monster.
Well, that's all from me for now, but I'll be sure to add more if I think of anything. I love dissecting trailers and leaks like this, so I'll be doing it for anything that comes out for this movie. TMNT is a huge part of my life and I've consumed almost every part of it, so I'm hoping to put it to good use! I'd also love to hear everyone else's thoughts about the leak, so please do not be shy. Cowabunga, dudes!
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yen-stanning · 2 years
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I saw Black Panther: Wakanda Forever last night in IMAX and here are my SPOILER-FREE thoughts:
- fun fact first: the first Black Panther was the first MCU film I ever saw, so it has a very special place in my heart and hearing about Chadwick's passing 2 years ago hit hard...
- that being said the way Ryan Coogler, Marvel and everyone else who worked on this handled Chadwick's passing is nothing short of inspiring. This film is a beautiful love letter to not just Chadwick and his legacy, but also T'Challa's character. It's beautiful, painful, emotional, yet full of hope 💜
- now, I thought the movie was perfect! I am still a little at a loss for words really...
- I cried my absolute eyes out, I cheered and clapped, I laughed, I gasped, and I smiled. It was a real rollercoaster of emotions for sure
- in terms of the story, I really do not know where to begin... So much happens, it's crazy... I don't want to spoil anything obviously but I'll just say it's a beautiful story of legacy, grief, and culture
- even though the movie is emotional, I genuinely laughed at some of the comedy in this. It is really nicely balanced!!!!!
- the cast is incredible across the board. Everyone is amazing!!!! Just everyone, the real standouts for me were Angela Basset (she is coming for her oscar!!!!!) and Letitia Wright! Incredible, but truly everyone in this cast brought their A-game!!!
- speaking of Letitia, let's talk about Shuri for a second. Shuri's arc in this film is so amazing and Letitia just nails it! Massive respect for how she had to step up to the plate here.
- I also enjoyed the new characters! Namor was a really good antagonist to the plot and I loved the exploration of his people and Talokan was very well realized. Riri was great, loved her relationship with Shuri, and I am more interested in her series now too!
- the soundtrack and score are incredible once again! (as expected ofc hehe)
- VFX-wise, I thought it was really well done and the cinematography was gorgeous. Especially Wakanda was just so well done again, it was so amazing to return again
- action scenes are really good and thrilling!!!! Already looking forward to seeing them again!
- Ruth Carter deserves another Oscar for costume design. EVERYONE LOOKED GORGEOUS! I guess that is also a shout-out for the hair & make-up team 😍
- a lot of this movie can be spoiled and I already saw clips circulating of the film on the internet, so be warned! There are a lot of genuine surprises in the film and I REALLY hope no one ruins them for you!
- I saw it in IMAX 3D and it was a great experience! Hoping to watch it in Dolby Cinema as well!
- ofc, you know the drill, stay after the credits 👀
I cannot wait for round 2 on Saturday ✨
I guess there is only one thing left to say: WAKANDA FOREVER!
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Part 3 - Chapter 15 - I-Island: Friends New And Old
Blank Canvas Part 3
AO3 - here
Fanfiction.net - here
It's finally I-Island time!!! :D Super excited to explore this arc with you peeps. ^____^ I'm sure you're all wondering how this is going to go down since Izuku doesn't have OFA. I myself am happy with what I came up with so I hope you all do as well!
Warning for spoilers for My Hero Academia: Two Heroes for this next arc on I-Island. Please watch the movie if you don't want to be spoiled! :D
Linktree to all the things!    
End notes for the chapter are under the line.  
There ya have it! The start of I-Island shenanigans. Izuku's muttering seems to just be getting worse but he's got an idea on how to handle that in the future. And it's just so fun for him to have awkward introductions because of it. XD
Melissa has officially met the Freakateers! Mei is so possessive and overprotective of Izuku. XD I just love her spaz nature so much. Her emotions always doing a 180 flip at a moment's notice. Hitoshi and Shouto of course would be more chill while Izuku is awkward but sociable. Plus Quirkless bonding time.
I had a lot of fun with Hound Dog being a part of their group in this. Easily sniffing out that something wasn't quite right. ;) And with All Might actually being open with his friend about OFA, David and he had a heart to heart both getting things off their chests. Will the Heroes be prepared in time? We'll have to wait and see! :D
Fun Facts About Japan:
This is more of an anecdotal one. For my personal experience with it comes to the JET Program application process, it took about 10 months. I submitted my application in September and got an email in December that I would get an interview which was in January. Then in March I found out I got wait-listed and had to wait to see if I would get picked or not. Thankfully only for a week! I got another email informing me I was to be placed in Yachiyo City and let's just say for me I was very happy for the wait.
In the application you can give requests of possible placements and why. Not a guarantee but I have a feeling it might have affected my placement. XD I put down Chiba as my top choice for the sole reason that Tokyo Disneyland was located in it. Yup, as reminder Tokyo Disney is in the Tokyo Bay area but technically it is in Chiba Prefecture! Anyway, I added that I would find a way to visit Tokyo Disney regardless of placement but being in Chiba would just make it easier. After a week, I find out I got Yachiyo that was 40 minutes away by train? Ya-freaking-tta!! I'll take it. And if I became the local Disney expert/park guide, let's just say I channeled my inner cast member and Disney magic. ;P That and years of experience visiting the US park as well as working in Disney World for a year.
Anyway, when it came time to finally depart for Japan in late July, for me it was quite the process. Depending on where you're flying from, not all airports have a direct path to Narita or Haneda airport. That was happened to me and so I had to fly to California, stay a night, and then take a flight from there to Japan. Lots of lugging around so many suit cases to and from and back to the airport. The flight to Japan is over 11 hours and once you get there, as soon as you get through customs and to the hotel, it's straight into 3 days of orientation. Physically and mentally exhausting but still worth it.
Then there's that first night in Tokyo. You're exhausted but how can you resist not exploring! Seeing Shinjuku for the first time was an experience much like how Izuku is when he first sees I-Island. So much to see, hear, eat, and just absorb. And I feel like I mentioned this once before, but I still cannot believe I got to see a freaking giant Godzilla head on top of TOHO cinema my very first night in Japan! XD That's when it really started to sink in for me. And it just so happened to be when a newer Godzilla film had come out too so double Godzilla. You can see some of my pictures here. Enjoy!
That's it for now! We've got more I-Island fun to come next chapter. But no spoilers for that. ;) Have fun theorizing! Okay, bye bye. ^___^
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vinici-chi · 3 years
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As I have been hearing my friend bitch about it AGAIN for the millionth time even though its been years, I'm giving my thoughts on Civil War and how I feel it with my to much empathy issue. (everything I see makes it hard to hate ANY character or motive because everyone has their reasons)(The only characters I actually hate are characters who don't seem to have any motive or reason to do what they do. EX. Umbridge, we don't see any backstory so I have no idea if she truly believes the ministry and is trying to stop what she believes is a 'rebellion' or a issue in her past that made her hate werewolves and others like them, so I can't empathise or understand.)
Is it about the whole government issue? No. because that just sounds like a horrible way to create a shitload of arguments. Am I gonna talk about how I think of the characters? Sure.
OK so first off, the most controversial character, Steve Rogers. I watched the movies, and the comics are in no way influencing this at all by the way.
First thought? good friend, not good man.
NOW before you start yelling at me.
He loves Bucky. Whether it's platonic romantic or whatever, he loves him. I have a cousin who i've know literally since I was born. I would do the exact same thing if she was in Bucky's place. Does that make me a good friend? Definitely. But what about the children and others who have lost someone to them? What about all those who she would have hypothetically killed? One man/woman over millions of others. Yes, he is not evil, or even the villain. But Captain America is a old, old man. with no one he knows still alive. And he is 𝘏𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯. He is flawed.
Then you touch the 'he killed my other best friends parents'.
Could he have handled that better? Yes. He dropped the ball 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥. Again yes, it wasn't truely Bucky's fault, and steve would protect his friend, but straight up 𝘭𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 to your other best friend about his parents deaths?
...That's 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘦𝘭.
While I don't hate him for it exactly... I'm appalled. it's cruel ok? Honestly the thing I hate most about this is the fact he used Tony's money while doing it. I sound like a broken record here, but it's true. I balked once I realized the extent that his friendship for Bucky was, that he used the money of one of his victims to find and protect the killer.
Yes Tony is a millionaire and money maybe doesn't even make a dent in what he did make. Is that right? NO. really its not, please put away your hatred of the rich for now, please?
Can Bucky be fully blamed for the deaths? no. he cannot. But that is not relevant to Tony. Not at the time, no. But it's still absolutely heartbreaking to Tony, it's betrayal, plain and simple.
Maybe Tony would've tried to kill Bucky if Steve told him. But would he have found him right away? How? Bucky was a HYDRA assassin, the best, for years before they found him again. In fact Steve probably only found him because of how close they were, much less Tony who never even met the man.
Now. I don't wan't to sound like 'Tony one shots the verse OP' but he wasn't aiming to kill that fight, and whatever the directors say, if they don't show that he was, I'm not going to acknowledge it. Guys... he could cut through steel and go after tanks and other things in previous movies. He could've even just blown it sky high. During 'I can do this all day' God that speech horrified me, he just watched his parents die? Tony waited around 20 seconds for steve to get back up before wailing on him again. He was absolutely not trying to kill Bucky. Make him hurt. Yes. While Steve had his shield and bucky his sneaky assassin stuff, they were still flesh and bone. Tony had what was basically and walking and much much more advanced, tank. It was a marvel of engineering for a reason.
But still, Steve's motive's weren't evil. They were flawed. He left a man who just had a vibranium shield to the (extremely weak) chest area. later it shows Tony having his Arc Reactor back in afterwards so it must've been bad. So leaving him without even checking on him makes me want to cry.
Now, Tony. Honestly, We don't really even see his perspective which makes this harder to reason out, but he did try to do what's right, and had a better picture of the politics going into it. Steve called the UN a government, which makes me kinda wanna cringe, but was born in the depression with minimal schooling. does it make him dumb? No. but compared to Tony, Tony was much better suited to politics and other things of its ilk, seemingly practicing from an extremely young age for the media and other business related things. Not to mention he was a genius and had multiple PHD's. Is Steve lesser? No. everyone has a different way to do things. Steve was most likely a better motivator and such.
And Laws and other things can be changed, compromised. 'One hand on the wheel' indeed. Ross most likely couldn't actually use the Avengers, when you think about it, Ross is a secretary of the US. The United Nations was composed of multiple governments. No Way were they gonna let a middle level government official get the reins of the Avengers, sorry. We couldn't actually read it so it was most likely a chain of command, like the police or special forces. And while they most likely did have agendas, everyone has agendas. Heck, Steve had one, and it was to protect Bucky, he was about to sign the accords!
Would they have stopped them from going after problems in other countries? I don't think so, if it was something they couldn't handle. Like another Chitauri Invasion. HYDRA? HYDRA is powerful, but they are still only terrorists. The countries have counter-terrorism for this issue. Then they most likely would've, other countries don't just let America in to deal with their terrorism do they?
Did Tony accidentally escalate things? Most likely. But he also didn't have all the facts. He didn't know the bombing wasn't made by Bucky, he didn't know the reason Steve wants Tony away from Bucky, he didn't know about the other soldiers. And what's worse is Tony thought he did have all the information.
And Steve... Is just unsympathetic? it's not necessarily a bad thing, but can make others very uncomfortable and sad or angry. Steve didn't look that nice when the video came up. He seemed to be waiting for Tony's reaction out of everything... which Tony also picked up on.
The murderer (Kinda) and a suspiciously un-upset soldier, who happened to be best friend showing no sadness over his best friend and his wives death?
So... so many red lights/flags etc.
And Tony reacted in grief and launched at the man.
I'm not mentioning the note. Sorry that just makes me sad in the end :[ as someone who has been guilt tripped and made to feel bad 'I'm sorry you don't understand' is a horrible thing to say and sounds like your pushing all the blame on the other :[.
I have no idea if it was something to pass the blame or just came out horribly wrong. while I'm hoping for the latter it's just... No.
This is getting to long and I might add to it but I'm emotionally exhausted at the moment, and close to tears for the both of them. I might be leaning towards Tony but the way they treated him just wasn't right? Yes he made bombs and they got leaked into terrorist hands. did he purposefully do it? ABSOLUTELY NOT. (And he went after them later). Not to mention out of all of the character he gets the biggest 'character progression'. also... 'the power in the right hands... our hands.' Obie's speech to Tony and he almost kills him sounds to much like what Steve said. Ok rant put on hold or i'm gonna go off again, see u.
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cyndavilachase · 4 years
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I’m Looking Forward Now 💖Thank you and good bye
So, it’s been a little over a week since Steven Universe Future ended… 
I’ve been hesitant to write this, honestly, but I’m tired of holding myself back from properly expressing myself in fear of appearing overly invested in the media I consume, even in private. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and feelings, and I feel like these thoughts in particular may resonate with many, so I want to share them. I want to talk about what Steven Universe has done for me personally, both as an artist, and as a person.
I’ve been around since the day the first episode of the original series aired. I actually remember when Steven Universe was just a logo on Wikipedia’s “List of Upcoming Cartoon Network Shows” list, back when I was a freshman in high school. It piqued my interest, but when commercials finally dropped for it, I thought it was going to be bad because of the way marketing handled introducing Steven as a likeable character. There was still something about it that made me want to give it a chance though, so I went online and watched the pilot before the first episode's release. I was hooked immediately. I knew I was going to love it, and I did. I fell so absolutely in love with Steven as a character, and the world that he and the gems lived in. I became obsessed. I was always so excited for new episodes to come out. Little did I know what else it would do for me as I went through my adolescence alongside it.
As the show progressed, it was evident that what I wanted out of a western animated childrens’ cartoon was finally coming into fruition: this show was becoming serialized. There was continuity, there was plot, there was character development-- it was getting deep. It was pushing the groundwork that Adventure Time laid out even further (thank you, Adventure Time).  
I will give credit where credit is due: earlier western childrens’ cartoons I grew up with like Hey Arnold, and Rugrats, among others, also touched on heavy topics, but Steven Universe was able to take similar ideas (and even more complex ones, concerning mental health and relationships) and expand on them outside of contained episodes and/or short arcs. These themes, which were a part of the show’s overarching story, spanned across its entirety. Continuity was rampant. 
What did this mean? It meant kids cartoons didn’t have to be silly and fun all the time and characters weren’t just actors playing a part in 11-minute skits. Steven and the gems would remember things that happened to them, and it affected them and how they would function and play a part in their story. This was a huge deal to me as a teenager. I always wanted the cartoons I grew up with featuring kid characters to feel more. In my own work, I often felt discouraged when combining a fun, cutesy western art style with themes as dark or layered as anime would cover. I always thought it had to be one or the other because an audience wouldn’t take a combination of the two seriously enough, based on discussions I had with classmates, friends, and online analysis I read at the time. Steven Universe proved to me otherwise. This show was opening the door for future cartoons exploring in-depth, adult concepts. I felt so seen as a kid, and was inspired to stick with what I love doing.
I was actually very worried about the show’s survival. It was in fact immensely underrated and the fandom was miniscule. Then in 2014, JailBreak dropped, and it’s popularity exploded. Part of it was because of the complex plot and the themes it was covering like I mentioned, but also because of its representation. 
I remember when fandom theorized that Garnet was a fusion due to grand, tragic reasons. Turns out, she’s simply a metaphor for a very loving w|w relationship. This was huge. I cannot stress how important it is that we continue to normalize healthy canon queer relationships in childens’ media, and Steven Universe finally was the first to do that proper. Introducing these themes offers the chance for a kid to sit there and ask themselves, “Why is this demonized by so many people?” I asked myself exactly that. Ruby and Sapphire were my cartoon LGBT rep. They were the first LGBT couple I ever ecstatically drew fanart of. I was dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia at the time, and they showed me that I was allowed to love women and feel normal about it. The process of overcoming this was a long one, but they played a part in my very first steps into becoming comfortable with my sexuality. I could go on and on about it’s representation in general-- how it breaks the mold when it comes to showcasing a diverse set of characters in design, in casting, and in breaking gender roles. It’s focus on love and empathy. Steven himself is a big boy, but he's the protagonist, and the show never once makes fun of his weight, or any other bigger characters for that matter. It wasn’t hard to see why the fandom had grown so large.
Fandom was always a joy for me. It was a hobby I picked up when I was in middle school, like many of us here did. I would always cater my experience to fun, and fun only. I only started getting more deeply involved in SU’s fandom when I had just turned into an adult. During the summer of 2016, between my first and second year of college, I drew for the show almost every day non-stop when the Summer of Steven event was going on and posted them online. This was a form of practice for me in order to become not just more comfortable with experimenting with my art, but also to meet new artists, make new friends, and learn to interact with strangers without fear. I dealt with a ton of anxiety when I was in high school. When I was a senior applying to art school for animation, I decided I was going to overcome that anxiety. I made plans to take baby steps to improve myself over the course of my 4 years of college. Joining the fandom, while unforeseen, was definitely a part of that process. I started feeling more confident in sharing my ideas, even if they were fan-made. I fell in love with storyboarding after that summer, when I took my first storyboarding class, and genuinely felt like I was actually getting somewhere with all of this. I remember finally coming to a point in my classes where I could pitch and not feel hopelessly insecure about it. I was opening up more to my friends and peers. 
But this process, unfortunately, came to a screeching halt. 
My life completely, utterly crumbled under me in the Fall of 2017 due to a series of blows in my personal life that happened in the span of just a couple weeks. My mental health and sense of identity were completely destroyed. All of that confidence I had worked for-- completely ruined. I was alone. I nearly died. My stay at college was extended to 4 and half years, instead of the 4 I had intended. I lost my love for animation-- making it, and watching it. I could no longer watch Steven Universe with the same love I had for it beforehand. It’s a terrible thing, trying to give your attention to something you don’t love anymore, and wanting so desperately to love again. I dropped so many things I loved in my life, including the fandom.
Healing was a long and complicated road. I continued to watch the show all the way up until Change Your Mind aired in the beginning of 2019, and while I still felt empty, that was definitely a turning point for me with it’s encapsulation of self-love. I was hoping James Baxter would get to work on Steven Universe since he guest-animated on Adventure Time, and it was incredible seeing that wish actually come true. The movie came out and while I enjoyed it and thought highly of it, I was still having issues letting myself genuinely love things again, old and new. It was especially difficult because cartoons were my solace as a kid, when things got rough at home. I remember feeling sad because the show ended, and not getting the chance to love it again like I used to while it was still going.
By the time Steven Universe Future was announced, I was finally coming around. I was genuinely starting to feel excitement for art and animation again. I wasn’t expecting there to be a whole new epilogue series, but happily ever after, there we were! Prickly Pear aired, and the implications it left in terms of where the story was going did it. I was finally ready to let myself take the dive back into fandom in January of this year. My art blew up, something I wasn’t expecting considering my 2-year hiatus. Following this, I was invited into a discord server containing some of the biggest writers, artists, editors, and analysts in the fandom. I had no idea there were so many talented people in the fandom, some already with degrees, some getting their degrees-- creating stuff for it on the side just for fun. The amount of passion and productivity level here is insane, and so is the amount of discussion that has come out of it.
I didn’t realize it at first, but it was actually helping me gain back the courage to share ideas. I lost my confidence in pitching while I was taking the time to heal, and graduating meant there would no longer be a classroom setting I could practice in. This group helped immensely. 
I have made so many friends through this wonderful series, and I have so many fond memories talking to like-minded creatives, getting feedback and a myriad of sources for inspiration, as well as all of the memes and jokes and weekly theorizations that came about as we all waited on the edges of our seats for episodes to air. I needed this so badly, I needed to get back in touch with my roots, when I would go absolutely hog-wild over a cartoon I loved with people who loved it as much I did. Future has been a blessing for me in this way. I graduated feeling like I was back at square-one, but now I feel like I’m on my way again.
It’s 2020 and while I’m doing great right now, I am honestly still recovering from the total exhaustion that followed after graduating a few months ago, and finally leaving the campus where my life fell apart behind. Needless to say, watching Future was like looking into a mirror. Watching one of my favorite characters of all time-- one that grew up with me-- go through so many of the same things I went through not too long ago was absolutely insane to watch unfold. It’s such an important thing too, to show a character go through the process of breaking down over trauma and all the nasty things that come with it, and to have them go on the road to healing. Steven got that therapy. He wasn’t blamed. The gems were called out. The finale was everything I could have ever hoped for. The catharsis I experienced watching it was out of this world.
As I continue my own healing journey, I will always look up to the storyboard artists, revisionists, and designers that I have been following over these past 7 years, as well as the new ones introduced in Future. It's been such a joy watching these artists release their promo art for episodes, talk about their experiences working on the show, and post the work they've done for it alongside episodes airing.
Thank you Rebecca Sugar, the Crewniverse, and the fans, for making this such a truly wonderful and unique experience. Thank you for reminding me that I am, and always will be, an artist, a cartoonist, and a fan. Thank you, my followers, for the overwhelmingly positive response to my artwork. I have had so much fun interacting and discussing the show with you all again over these past few months. Steven Universe and it’s fandom will always have a special place in my heart, and it will always be a classic that I will return to for comfort and inspiration for decades to come. I am sad that the cartoon renaissance is over, but so many doors have been opened thanks to this show. I am so, so excited to see what this show will inspire in the future, and I hope one day I get the opportunity to be a part of that. 
Goodbye Steven, thank you for everything. I wish you healing, and I wish Rebecca and the team a well-deserved rest. ♥️
-Cynthia D.
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sugarstickery · 3 years
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An Allegory Within the Dark
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This is an unofficial fan translation of chapter 3 of Jujutsu Kaisen’s first light novel, Departing Summer and Returning Autumn by Gege Akutami and Ballad Kitaguni.
Summary: Mahito stumbles across an unusual human in his search for a place to call ‘home’.
Featured characters: Primarily Mahito, with brief appearances from Hanami and Jogo, along with an unnamed novel-only character
Timeline: An undefined time prior to the events of the Vs. Mahito arc
An Allegory Within the Dark
If you want to hide a tree, you go to the middle of a forest.
So if you’re looking to hide a person, you should go to the middle of a city.
Following that logic, it makes sense for curses worthy of being the true humans to set up their hideout in the city center.
Cursed spirits would actually have it much easier if they spent their time in places crammed with fear where humans and the like can’t live: deep in the mountains or in densely wooded areas, for example.
But for a group of curses plotting to overturn the current era, a base in the heart of the city is crucial for invasion and seeking refuge. That being the case, it’s also better to try aiming for a location with a high concentration of negativity.
Anyway, that’s how some employees from a scam business ended up massacred.
“This really is the simplest way to handle it. All of them nest together up here away from the public eye, so clean-up is a cinch.”
Jogo laughed while trampling the burning remains of a corpse underfoot.
Roughly two minutes ago, there were about six humans in the office.
The curses considered a few ways to handle dispatching them but ultimately decided that burning was the fastest, so Jogo quickly turned them to ash.
“But humans used this building, didn’t they? Won’t it be a problem if there’s property management or something?” Mahito asked, poking at an ostentatious vase displayed on a shelf.
Apparently the concern was unnecessary. Jogo tried to answer with a grin, but a nonsensical language cut into their conversation.
“⏁⊑⟒⟟⍀ ⎎⍜⋏⏁ ⟟⌇ ☊⎍⌇⏁⍜⋔”
“Oi, bastard—! Stop talking, Hanami! It makes my head itch!”
Though Hanami spoke in nothing but meaningless sounds, the intention behind it was somehow transmitted directly into the minds of others. This was usually unpleasant and it irritated Jogo.
When he noticed Mahito still looking his way, Jogo continued to explain despite his frustration.
“Hmph... What? There’s no need to worry. I asked Geto what his aim was, and it looks like these were the kind of underhanded humans who got involved in plenty of unethical things.”
“Hm. So basically, other humans won’t actually come close if they get that curse stuff happens here.”
“Exactly. Any respectable, straight-laced human would never come near this place under normal circumstances. It’s the perfect city-center hideout.”
“Is it really?”
“...What is it, Mahito? You don’t seem satisfied. What’s there to worry about? It would put us in a great position to start preparing our plans for the city, and it’s great for a quick escape if we need one.”
“Mm... No, you’re right, but...”
“But what? Spit it out.”
“It’s just... This room is really tacky.”
“Huh?”
With a pop, a small eruption burst forth from Jogo’s head. His narrowed eye looked like a painting of a gently sloping mountain.
“It’s tasteless, isn’t it? Stuff like that gaudy gold lion in the sparkly jar or this cheap-looking sideboard.”
“What are you even saying?! I have no idea what’s gotten into you lately, but you’ve been so annoying!”
“Movies.”
“Movies? Are those overly-embellished portrayals of humans really that interesting?”
“They’re references for my studies on the structure of a soul,” Mahito replied with an ambiguous smile.
If humans could see him, they might be reminded of a proud elementary schooler discussing the knowledge they gained from a book report.
“If I’m being honest, I don’t find the stories that interesting either, but I don’t hate the sense of visual aesthetics that humans have. That said, this room has too many useless colors and really hurts the eyes.”
“Such bratty, selfish complaints... We can just burn or toss anything that’s an eyesore.”
“No need, I’m going to look for a place to settle down on my own.”
“What? Ah, hey— Where are you going?”
Not waiting for Jogo’s response, Mahito waved over his shoulder and vanished like smoke or a gentle breeze, off to who-knows-where.
“Geez… Maybe it’s because he was born from human fear, but even knowing he’s a curse, he tends to be way too frivolous. Watching movies and all…”
While grumbling out his complaints, Jogo took a pipe from his shirt pocket to put in his mouth.
Unlike human cigarettes, this wooden pipe somehow imitated a screaming face when smoked.
“But that Mahito...”
Jogo spun around to survey the room with his one eye.
“...He says that, but it doesn’t seem tacky to me.”
“⊑⏃⋏⏃⋔⟟”
“I already said shut up!!”
--
You can only find a hideaway that suits you by looking for it on your own.
Mahito wandered through the city with this in mind. He alternated left and right turns on a whim any time he happened across a traffic light, walked alongside stray cats, or sometimes simply went in the direction of clouds that he liked the shape of.
While traveling along his chosen path like this, he keenly felt just how laughable humans were.
Though the city belongs to them, no one walking in and out of it was more free than Mahito.
Everyone seemed constrained. They were captured by ties of obligation and vanity, living in a wide, deep, big city with such narrow outlooks.
Unaffected by the enormous sky sprawling out endlessly overhead, they box themselves into their concrete city with their own hands and limited perception of souls, passing the time by whittling their lives down further and further.
Mahito even learned the words for some of these human concepts to study later.
For example, they call it “morals”. They call it “common sense”. They call it “emotion”.
But a human soul isn’t anything more than the resulting mechanical movement that comes from external stimuli.
And so they let go of freedom and live tightly controlled lives, fearing the judgmental stares of others, stooping to flattery for society’s approval.
“...What a waste.”
Everyone is bound by ostentatious shackles of their own making.
That’s why these curses know there has to be a change, as far as humans go. Those who cannot do anything but crawl in such an unsightly way under the magnificent sky must hand over the world.
Mahito thinks. He ponders over any topic his soul turns toward. He walks wherever the wind blows him.
Before long, the time had come for the sun to descend in the western sky. He could hear the burbling of a river.
--
“Not bad.”
The hideaway Mahito found was under a bridge, across the river.
It was a tunnel, vacant and huge like a temple.
Pipes ran along the inside, clear water flowing from them and into the river. It looked like wastewater was drained here after being purified, so there wasn’t much discomfort.
Apart from the humid air and the moss that emitted a peculiar grassy smell, it seemed wide enough to splash and jump around in, and the concrete’s cool texture provided a refreshing welcome.
There’s a season that curses are partial to.
Negative human emotions accumulate from the end of winter to spring, and it could be said that the rainy season served as the so-called peak of their ripening.
The inside of the damp tunnel held the same atmosphere. There was a gloominess there in the dim lighting that could easily nurture fear. It gently moistened Mahito’s skin; he felt cozy.
“Yeah, let’s stay here.”
When choosing a place to live, it’s best to trust your instincts.
Perhaps humans should do the same, but what they can’t readily do, Mahito can decide without hesitation. If he’s free when he wanders, then he’s free when he settles down, too.
Mahito stepped into the tunnel in good spirits, knocking solidly on the concrete floor.
The soul’s metabolism smooths out in comforting spaces. But…
“Huh?”
After walking a short distance, Mahito discovered “that”.
He initially thought it was some garbage or something that a human illegally dumped. But before long, it became clear that it was a sack-like silhouette leaning against a wall.
At first glance, it perhaps looked like a mere collection of rags.
But the shape of a soul was there.
—Ah, it’s alive.
Yes, just as Mahito had realized, it was a human.
The tattered clothing and wildly overgrown hair and beard hid his shape, but it was undoubtedly a human.
His exact age wasn’t clear from his outward appearance, but whether he was 60 or over 80, he looked elderly.
Mahito thought it was a bit of a pain.
There was already a visitor living in his precious hideaway.
Of course, taking care of this issue would be an easy matter for him. But he felt the same discomfort as a homeowner finding a stain on the wall of their new house.
‘Anyway, if I’m gonna deal with this, let’s get it done,’ Mahito thought, reaching out toward the old man with a little sigh.
Whereupon, unexpectedly, the old man spoke.
“...I’m sorry if you’re displeased.”
“Hm?”
“I don’t know what you came here to do, but... I’m sure your mood has soured after stumbling across the home of an old fool. But I have nowhere to go, either.”
Mahito was a little taken aback.
The old man was clearly aware of Mahito and turned toward him to speak. This wouldn’t be surprising at all if he was talking to a fellow human.
But Mahito is a curse.
The eyes of a mere human can’t clearly perceive cursed spirits.
It isn’t impossible, though. If humans are born with cursed energy, it isn’t unusual for them to be aware of the existence of curses.
What caught Mahito’s attention was this old man’s lack of ‘eyes’.
As in, he had no eyes in the physical sense. Instead, in the empty sockets that once held them, there was a burn scar that was painful just to look at.
Even sorcerers rely on their eyes to view the world.
They depend on their field of vision to spot cursed spirits. That’s why so many of them use sunglasses and the like to conceal their line of sight, as it helps them remain unaffected. It also helps them maintain a balanced mind when their daily life overflows with curses.
However, that was not the case for this old man.
“Can you see me?”
When Mahito asked, the old man answered with a gentle nod.
“At the very least, I can feel you.”
“But you can’t see the world?”
“Naturally. That includes the scenery, what you look like, what color your skin is, and even your gender. Even so... I know you’re there.”
“...Are you a sorcerer?”
“Most likely not.”
“You’re being pretty vague, even though you’re talking about yourself.”
“For a long time, that’s what I’ve been the most vague about.”
Mahito began to notice something strange.
He can feel the shape of a human’s soul.
He knows the movement of a soul’s metabolism, whether it takes on a harsh form, withers weakly, or flickers with liveliness.
However, this old man’s soul was hardly metabolizing.
It was like a meadow with no wind, or a still sea, or the blue sky on a cloudless day.
No, it would be most appropriate to compare it to a stone.
His soul was like a stone on the side of the road.
No fancy ornamentation, no polishing. Unmoving, unwavering.
Calmly passing the time while growing moss.
That was the shape this old man’s soul had.
No matter how calm or how old a person is, the human soul always flickers.
As the years stack up, common sense doesn’t disappear, selfishness isn’t eliminated, and fear isn’t conquered.
But this old man was different.
The old man’s soul was at peace. He had sincerely accepted that everything would decay with time, but that didn’t mean he would throw his life away. It was truly similar to the way in which nature existed.
It was Mahito’s first time meeting anyone like this.
--
For a while, the tunnel became something of a den for Mahito.
He had gotten a hammock from somewhere, which he hung up between the pipes. He lounged in it and read, passing the time in comfort.
In a movie about life on a deserted island, a human who was desperate to survive made a hammock. Through it, he was able to regain a little peace of mind.
Since it looked surprisingly comfortable, Mahito gave it a try and it worked out nicely.
The arguments and fights of the outside world didn’t reach the inside of the tunnel, where only the burble of the small stream could be heard.
It provided a good environment for soothing the soul.
While leisurely absorbing new knowledge from his books, Mahito would sometimes absentmindedly gaze up toward the ceiling, or glance down at the corner where the old man squatted, looking as he always did.
“How do you live like this? It’s pretty mysterious...”
In the end, Mahito didn’t kill the old man.
It’s important to note that the old man wasn’t much of a hindrance for him. If it would make no difference whether he was there or gone, then Mahito figured getting rid of him would be more of a hassle.
The old man was just there, even quieter and more carefree than a stray cat.
Mahito knew the phrase: ‘man is only a reed, but he is a thinking reed’.
He found it hilarious and also genuinely liked it. It simultaneously boasted about being trapped in thoughts of the soul, while also showing that humans were frail as weeds.
It could be said that the old man was an unthinking reed, then.
No – he was even quieter than that; more like grass or some type of moss. In any case, the old man said nothing and simply carried on living.
Every now and then, the old man would suddenly shuffle off elsewhere, but he would be back to sleep before Mahito knew it. He was surely getting food from somewhere, but he never seemed to gain weight. If he lost any while in the tunnel, he would eat just enough to gain it back when he left, and no more.
It was a style of living so close to nature that it seemed more like a phenomenon than a life.
“That’s why I seriously wonder if you can see me.”
The suspicion was uttered suddenly.
Mahito wasn’t exactly speaking to the old man. Rather, his tone was that of someone talking to themselves.
But when he noticed that the old man’s soul didn’t waver even after hearing him speak, Mahito finally addressed him directly.
“How long have you been here?”
“Let’s see… I think a few winters have passed, but I’m not sure,” the old man muttered, his reply quiet.
Since they were two beings with souls who were aware of each other’s existence, Mahito felt it would be more natural to chat every now and then.
“Don’t you get bored?”
When spoken to in a soft tone, the old man also responded softly.
“I’ve forgotten how to be bored.”
“How do you usually pass the time here?”
“I don’t do anything, really. I just listen to the sounds.”
“The sounds?”
“The sounds of the water flowing.”
“...Is it fun?”
“It’s not. But I forgot how to have fun a long time ago, too, so it’s not an issue.”
So it was like that. Mahito nodded.
If this old man could no longer even feel the pain of boredom, perhaps his soul was worn down.
Humans of the city gasp and struggle through the hurt of not having enough, yet always wish for more even when they get what they wanted. Their souls grew fat and tattered through the rich accumulation of these negative feelings.
So in that regard, from Mahito’s point of view, the old man had a thin soul – but it could be said that was clever of him.
A fat and full human soul leads to a fear of losing the gratifying present moment, which in turn gives birth to curses.
“It’s hard to get your attention. What’s your name?”
When Mahito asked, the old man looked into the air for just a second.
“I left that behind. You can call me whatever you like.”
“There are humans without names? Even curses have them.”
“If you don’t meet other people, you don’t need a name.”
“Isn’t it a problem if you don’t have one?”
“When is it a problem?”
“When it’s time to be buried.”
“I don’t need a gravestone with a name. I can just be stuffed into a common grave, or maybe I’ll rot undiscovered and return to the earth that way.”
“Can’t you take a joke?”
“…Was that a joke?”
The old man didn’t laugh. Neither did Mahito.
But Mahito had the feeling that this old man was childish, contrary to his appearance. His lack of attachments created an unsullied disposition that might make him younger than he looked.
His interest in the old man simmered and surged.
It was his first time seeing this type of human, his first time feeling a soul with this form. For Mahito, this was a rare specimen.
What kind of path must life take to make this kind of human? What would be the most intriguing shape to make with a soul like that? What uses could one plan for such a person?
And what kind of curse would be born from them?
With these questions fueling his curiosity, Mahito started to chat with the old man.
“Why are you here?”
“…Why?”
The old man looked up toward the ceiling through his unruly bangs.
His eye sockets were empty, but it seems like even without sight, humans tended to stare into nothing when they were thinking. One curiosity of Mahito’s was satisfied.
“You weren’t born and raised in this tunnel, right? As a human, you must have been in that noisy city.”
“Ah, that. I lived a fairly busy life a long time ago. I inherited the house, worked, made money and supported my family.”
“So you were a human in a pretty good position.”
“In human society, yes. Looking back on it now, it was all meaningless.”
“So... what, you basically started living in a hole like a mouse, then?”
“I did that because I lost everything that I needed up to then. I lost my social status, my money, and a place where I belonged.”
“You lost it all?”
“I was tricked. That’s when my eyes were burned, so I lost my sight then, too.”
Mahito incidentally recalled the company Jogo attacked.
“You got tricked, huh? You seem pretty good-natured about it.”
“That’s because I didn’t care much about being tricked.”
“You’re a weird old man. Is this some kind of hobby where you get your kicks when people deceive you or something?”
“I’m just saying, that’s the kind of person I was back then. The ones who tricked me were my old friend and my wife. My eyes were burned in that so-called “accident”¹; they claimed I wasn’t of sound mind and body after that, and under the guise of caring for me, they stole everything I worked for before I knew it.”
“That’s a pretty flashy way to trick someone, isn’t it? You’re talking like it’s someone else’s problem.”
“Those two loved each other, and I was loved by no one. Knowing that was more monumental to me than being tricked.”
It was hard for Mahito to interpret what the old man said.
Love. Is it really such an important word?
It’s said that curses born from love exist in the world. It seems there are tremendously powerful ones among them, too. But Mahito doesn’t understand how the mechanism by which people love each other is any different from a cat’s attachment to a blanket.
Still, Mahito knows for a fact that people are obsessed with it.
“Didn’t you curse them? The ones who tricked you.”
“Not really.”
“’Not really’, huh. You know, normally a human in that situation would get angry and hold grudges, and it would make the shape of their soul deteriorate.”
“It’s true, though. I don’t think I had the energy to even consider seeking revenge or hurting them.”
“...I get it.”
Mahito nodded, filling in the blanks.
Regardless of whether or not he can guess the trends in human emotion, Mahito has studied many movies, novels and poetry so far.
Then there were the humans he tinkered with. Mahito could put together the pieces he gleaned from those things and use them to break down the old man’s story.
“So basically, you were in despair. So much despair that it was like your soul was about to die. That’s how you broke through the creation of grudges and curses and ended up like this.”
The old man slowly shook his head.
“I may have been disappointed, but I don’t believe I felt the intense despair you’re thinking of.”
“Are ‘disappointment’ and ‘despair’ different?”
“They are; this is just my personal experience.”
The old man raised his face, following the memories.
“There was no burning resentment or turbulent sorrow. It’s just... I was tired, I guess. Between work, assets, reputation, my life situation and duties, dealing with others, caring about the family name... I think I was probably just tired and worn out because of it all.”
“And that’s why you didn’t get mad even after being tricked?”
“I was at peace. They say the soul gets lighter after going through disappointments.”
The old man’s voice was calm.
It had a cool quality to it, like muddy water that had been filtered clean.
“I couldn’t see, I had no money, I had no love... But as I was walking through the city with nothing to my name, it all suddenly became inconsequential. And then, as I looked around, I saw the city in a new light.”
“Even though you can’t see?”
“Yes. When you can’t see anything, it’s just sound and wind that goes on forever anywhere you are. I couldn’t even see the walls blocking the city in. It was just endless darkness spreading out forever, like a starless night. For the first time, I understood how wide the world was. And I thought to myself... ah, I’m free, aren’t I?”
Mahito blinked rapidly.
This old man’s thinking didn’t fit any other case he had gathered so far.
Even hearing about his past, he couldn’t understand the old man’s thoughts.
But even from Mahito’s point of view, the old man was certainly free.
Without so much as leaving the middle of this tunnel, he knew that the sky was vast.
Perhaps he knew it better than any member of high society walking around freely in the city. He knew the wide spread of the sky, the soft caress of the wind, the gentle sounds of the water.
This old man, who looked like a simple rakugoka², had no property or social standing. He even lost his connection to other humans... And maybe that’s precisely why he could uncover the elusive meaning of the word ‘freedom’.
He was just existing, just being alive, without attachments, grudges or curses.
“So basically ‘not all those who wander are lost’?”
“Yes, though quoting Tolkien’s works might be a little tedious.”
Mahito smiled when the man immediately caught the reference to a book he just happened to read.
“Were you a bookworm?”
“All I did was cram a lot of information in.”
“It’s good to be well-read.”
If curses are born from the fear that humans feel, could this old man even be considered human?
As Mahito is, he struggles with the expression of human emotions.
But he was calm.
For the first time since coming into contact with humans, he had a feeling of peace.
“I think if everyone in the world was like you, I wouldn’t have been born.”
Mahito looked back at his book.
The old man, staring into nothing as always, fell silent again.
Curses are born from humans, but they also kill humans. There is no way for the two to coexist.
But in this tunnel, a curse and a human were doing exactly that.
Though distorted, this peaceful period of time flowed by gently.
--
It’s only natural for humans to hate and fear other humans.
Since they can’t see souls, they can only make guesses about the feelings of others, and they’re swayed by their own emotions.
They don’t understand that these things are just a reflection of the soul’s metabolism. They don’t even know where their soul is.
Mahito investigated the matter.
This blind man lost his sight and his connection to others, so his soul received less stimulation.
And so, no longer influenced by unnecessary things in the physical world, he spent a lot of time facing his inner world and reflecting.
“It’s kind of like a monk’s training. Through strong introversion, a person looks at their soul more often.”
Mahito walked around the city, skimming through a beaten-up copy of the Heart Sutra.
It was a sutra handbook that focused on controlling the soul. It looked like humans of the past did their own research into freeing the soul from the material world.
The old man’s life ended up in a similar state without him setting out to do it on purpose.
That was likely how he learned to feel other souls through the darkness he lived in. Mahito concluded this was the reason he was aware of curses.
“I think he was already predisposed, but... seems like it’s easier for introverted humans to show promise.”
If he gave the old man’s situation even deeper consideration, he could probably make a lot of guesses about a sorcerer’s training. There’s even a way to encourage the first manifestation of cursed energy.
In that case, it should also be possible to take a talented person and ‘make’ them into a sorcerer or curse-user.
Unleashing a curse-user made by a curse onto a sorcerer...
That might be a fun experiment. It’s easier to shake up a human’s soul by having them fight other humans, rather than just exorcising curses. Sukuna’s vessel should be no exception.
Although...
—Maybe it’s fine to do that a little later?
Yes, Mahito thought it over at his leisure.
He is free. When it’s time to move, he moves. When it’s time to rest, he rests.
And he was not in the mood to launch that plan into action.
Rather, for the time being, he just wanted to gather knowledge and indulge in thought. He also got some new books and wanted to read fantasy novels while basking in the quiet comfort of the tunnel.
Mahito’s gait became lighter. While walking alongside the throng of people, he even began to hum.
Suddenly, a loud voice rang out from between two buildings.
“—so damn annoying, yeah?”
Looking over that way, he saw two young humans: a man with long, thin hair, and a muscular skinhead. They were undoubtedly people who looked like trouble.
The long-haired man listened as the skinhead rambled on with his complaints, seemingly in some kind of sullen mood.
“Damn, it’s seriously freezing. Anyway, every last one of ‘em just puts on shitty airs, but it’s all just talk. Nothin’ but excuses. Ah, I wanna kill ‘em all...”
“You say that, but come on. You talk big about wanting to beat these guys to death when you’re pissed, but could you actually kill someone?”
“Sure. Ain’t like killing’s hard.”
“Seriously?”
Mahito squinted and listened, the conversation going in one ear and out the other.
It’s not that he disliked the way they acted or how they spoke bluntly about their heart’s desires. But Mahito knew people like this were all talk.
“Yeah– seriously, anyone’s fine, I just wanna kill someone.”
Then maybe you should do it without saying anything.
Better yet, he thought about practicing some killing methods on them. But Mahito felt the light weight of the book in his hand as he reached out, and he stopped.
Rather than sparing any consideration for this, he just wanted to go back to the comfort of the tunnel and read.
“I’ll kill ‘em.”
The skinhead’s grumbling voice sounded like a spell.
But the words would find no power or heart to shelter in. Shut away between these buildings, the most a person can do is talk to themselves. It’s best for humans like this to stick to the narrow back alleys, foolishly thinking they’re enjoying a wide world.
Mahito averted his gaze and made his way back home.
--
“Why did Gregor become a bug?”
Mahito suddenly asked the old man, not taking his eyes off the novel.
It was a famous book by Franz Kafka.
A story in which a human unexpectedly turns into a poisonous insect.
“The most popular theory is that the bug is a metaphor.”
“Metaphor?”
“It means he was a person who was hated and oppressed within society, treated the same way a human would treat a bug. Kind of like an old man who was suddenly blinded and tricked one day.”
“Is that a joke?”
“Not exactly.”
It was detached and dispassionate, but an answer would come back any time Mahito said something. When conversing with the old man, it felt like talking to a dictionary. He had a lot of information.
He knew about things like the inner workings of the mind and human culture, and he was smart enough to explain it simply in discussions.
For Mahito, who analyzed human souls through books and movies, this old man’s knowledge and conversation helped in its own way.
When do humans get angry? Why do they grieve?
How do they trust and in what ways are they betrayed?
Mahito lived with a different sense of ethics when compared to humans, so there were many things he struggled to interpret. The old man explained them and helped him understand.
He had a strong interest in the experiences of the old man, who had once lived among humans but didn’t act like them.
“After becoming a bug, Gregor eventually hid away like he was told to, but he still ended up being spotted and it led to his death. Jii-san³, why do you think that is?”
“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”
“That’s a quote from Virginia Woolf, right?”
When Mahito immediately and correctly guessed the source, the old man raised a brow slightly.
“You’re a pretty avid reader, too. Conversations with you are really stress-free.”
“Do you have to go back to living with other humans, then?”
“If you don’t have any attachment to the human world, there’s no need to run from it or stand against it⁴.”
“I see,” Mahito murmured to let the other know he was listening, eyes still on the book.
Even if he wasn’t looking at it, the old man’s perpetually calm soul was aglow in the dark like always.
Mahito read his book in the dim room lit by the brilliance of that soul instead of a candle.
Time quietly flowed through the darkness.
Outside of the tunnel, signs indicating the end of summer crept up.
--
The end came abruptly.
One day, when Mahito was heading back to the tunnel with an abandoned poetry anthology that he picked up on an aimless walk through the city, he felt a noisiness that shouldn’t have been there.
There were one, two, three swaying souls.
One had a very familiar shape, but it was terribly frail. It was like the dying flame of a candle weakened by the wind.
With the same unchanging gait as always, Mahito stepped into the tunnel.
As expected, the old man was there.
But the unusual thing was the crumpled, strange position that he was in.
He was also sandwiched between two younger men who were looking down at him.
“Oooi, isn’t this bad? Did this guy seriously die?”
A man with long, thin hair spoke in a tone that was not particularly anxious.
“Didn’t I say it? I said I could kill,” a muscular skinhead replied, his voice casual.
“But ain’t this just impulsive?”
“Yeah, well, the old man had some real cheek, looking down on us when he’s this weak. So why not just kick him?”
The skinhead likely played sports, given that his legs were as thick around as logs. Kicking an old man to death would be easier than crushing a can.
The two didn’t seem to have a single scrap of interest in the old man, his life or his soul.
There was no reason, no grudge, no clear murderous intent.
It seemed like they simply arrived at the tunnel somehow. They took the opportunity to do as much violence as they wanted. They beat him on a whim.
It could be said that this way of being is freedom for humans.
Mahito crouched down, peeking at the old man’s face.
The beaten visage of the man with burned eyes came into view. But even at a time like this, his expression was as calm as always.
“Are you going to die?”
Mahito searched for even a mumbled word or two in response.
“...Seems so...”
The old man answered in a hoarse voice. He likely barely had the power left to speak now. It appeared as though the two men didn’t hear him over their loud conversation.
He intently inspected the old man’s soul.
The peaceful soul was not flickering, nor did it hold anger or grief; it was simply coming to an unhurried end.
Mahito was impressed.
This old man had found the true meaning of freedom. He really was released from every tie of obligation in this world. Even on the verge of death, that didn’t change.
Being able to make sure of that with his own two eyes, Mahito felt considerably relieved. In the same way he would watch a flower wither and fall, he observed the old man’s death.
Nevertheless...
“Jii-san?”
He had a feeling.
It’s like seeing a plot twist you don’t want to see if you keep turning the pages of a book.
Or like knowing the contents of a present before you open it.
That kind of buzz spread through Mahito’s chest.
While he puzzled over the instinctive alarm bells screaming at him to stop watching, everything was heading toward its end.
“...I thought I would die alone.”
The old man’s soul dimly flickered.
A smile was on his swollen face.
“...To have someone... here to witness this old fool’s last moments...”
The flicker might have been insignificant, like a single drop breaking the water’s surface. Even so, for an instant near death, at the end of it all...
The old man’s soul ‘metabolized’.
“...Tha...nk... y...”
The old man died smiling.
“. . .”
Mahito’s eyes opened wide, and for a moment, he was frozen.
He thought the old man was different when compared to other humans. To Mahito, he seemed unfettered.
Mahito thought the unique philosophical views stemming from such an extraordinary state of mind had freed him from all the shackles of this world.
But despite all of that, the old man was still captured right in his last moments.
On the brink of death, he clung to someone else so he could avoid a lonely end.
The old man was only human.
For a human, it was likely satisfying enough. Perhaps it was even the proper way for one to die.
“. . .”
Mahito said nothing.
But what felt like a dry wind blew through his chest, leaving him cold.
He didn’t know the name humans gave that emotion. But his consciousness was like yarn tangling in on itself, wriggling around like a worm—
And suddenly, it all cut off at once.
The only thing left behind was the sensation of standing in a dry and barren wasteland.
“—So basically,” the skinhead’s voice echoed. “Police probably won’t do a proper investigation. Not for this old nobody.”
“Hey, hey, hey; that’s still a person,” the long haired man answered lightly.
“Yeah, well, that guy started it.”
“He shoulda looked at who he was talking to before he picked a fight.”
“Anyway, my pants are dirty from all that kicking... That’s a problem.”
“So fussy. That’s what you’re worried about when you just killed a guy? How funny.”
“That ain’t a person. Anyway, don’t you know I like being clean? Ahh, the blood won’t come off... Water doesn’t do any good, right?”
“Yeah, it doesn’t – but more importantly, if you’ve settled down, I’m hungry. Let’s stop by a convenience store.”
“I dunno. If you’re gonna look, buy a bento and let’s get outta here.”
Mahito quickly stood up in the same way one would when they finished looking for something in a store.
A sense of fatigue was deeply ingrained in his body.
Their incoherent voices persisted, reverberating through the tunnel, smeared with excuses and attempts to escape reality. He couldn’t hear the soft burble of the stream.
With deep-seated listlessness, Mahito approached the skinhead as one would move to pick up fallen trash.
Idle Transfiguration. The technique spreads quickly.
And thus, the moment he tapped the man’s back, its shape was no longer human.
“Ee—!!”
If he just killed them, it would create a nuisance in the form of a corpse, so he simply folded it up into something palm-sized and kept it alive.
Then, with a careless sweep⁵ of his hand, he folded up the other man as well.
“Begh—”
It fell silent.
Mahito gathered up the two, now no bigger than chess pieces, and turned his attention down toward the remaining corpse of the old man.
It was now just a bag of meat full of bones. Not even the soul remained, so he couldn’t use Idle Transfiguration to fiddle with it.
He was briefly troubled by its disposal, which served as the biggest inconvenience.
In the tunnel, there nothing but the sound of running water.
--
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--
It was a day where the sky seemed farther away than usual.
Clouds peeked out from around the buildings and a good feeling was carried in on the wind.
Mahito aimlessly walked about the city.
“Maybe I’ll catch a movie. It’s been ages.”
He picked a tiny, somewhat old-looking theater and snuck in.
He’s had high motivation lately, and it seemed like some unnecessary things had peeled away from his soul, leaving him more carefree than ever.
Thanks to that, he had also begun to toy with humans more often.
If he can fold a person up and make them small, he wanted to test out inflating one instead, but he slept on the idea overnight. It was pretty fun, but he knew that he was getting too absorbed. He also felt that carrying on with too much persistence wasn’t a good thing.
A change of pace every now and then was fine, too.
He hadn’t closely checked to see what was being screened. It was mostly just plain and obscure movies, but if one went in with no expectations, they might come across a surprisingly interesting tale.
Curiously, he had that kind of a feeling.
While walking through the hall of the theater, he casually felt through his pocket, which had grown bulky with the ‘small humans’ that he had touched.
—Speaking of which, he thought that was a nuisance.
He carelessly tossed some of them away.
Opening the door, he stepped into the theater.
Perhaps because it was a weekday, there weren’t many customers. The silhouettes of what appeared to be students filled out a few seats here and there.
From where Mahito stood in the corner, he had a good view of the screen.
Soon, instead of a curtain raising, the theater was engulfed in darkness.
--
T/N: [1] In this sentence, the implication is that the “accident” was very much orchestrated by the old man’s friend and wife, who burned his eyes somehow and then merely made it look like an accident [2] The rakugoka is the storyteller in rakugo, a form of (often) comedic theater that relies solely on spoken word from the rakugoka, who only uses a fan and hand towel as props [3] A way of referring to old men in general, basically like “gramps/grandpa”; Mahito never calls him by an actual name [4] Essentially, the old man’s saying that he (or anyone) can exist parallel to human society without interacting if they have no attachments to it and can still find peace, contrary to the Woolf quote [5] Kanji reads sweep, furigana reads cleanse (the same word for exorcism that sorcerers use)
Thanks as well to Pixi for help with editing and tl checks!  If an officially translated version of the novel becomes available in your country, please consider purchasing it, or consider buying a copy of the original novel in Japanese if possible!
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captnjacksparrow · 3 years
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Why do I ship SNS?
It is a known fact that when people experience a good media, they like to discuss various things they liked, hated, interpret what the creator trying to say and get something from what they have consumed. Eventually people end up in a shipping war if there are multiple possibilities. 
I started watching Naruto on a whim, hoping to see some ninjas in action with some revenge as a background (after all when you have power, there will always be a revenge). Am a sucker for revenge, btw. I am a person who hates romance in media. Because, every movie, book, novel, series has this same recycled romance plastered into every story even though the story don’t need at all. So, I am very tired of it. Every media portrays romance as something inevitable, necessary and something we can’t live without. That’s wrong. 
Usually, romance goes like this... Person A sees Person B... they hate each other and add some possessiveness, jealousy... they magically gets attracted through some shared experiences eventually... they kiss and make babies. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s just very tiring as I’ve seen million forms of this same repeated trope. I always cringe and yell “Can you give us something different? Grrr.....”.
And also, my motto is that love can happen with any person. It can’t be restrained into certain boundaries. So, I don’t like to put some relationship under an umbrella called Gay, Lesbian, Straight or whatever. Of course, illicit relationships and incest are not normal and am not okay with it.
With all that being said...
My experience after watching the Shippuden series until episode 478 was “Wait, do they love each other?”. I know am very late to realize this, but I have never even viewed them with any romantic lens throughout. 
On my first watch, I was always under the impression that “They are friends”... But there are certain moments I felt “Wait, why are they doing like this which could’ve been handled in a different way!!” I will get to this later in this post. But those moments were overlooked by me because of my curiosity of “What happens next ??”. 
And on my rewatch, it only confirmed my view. 
The other popular ships like SS and NH put forth many points to invalidate what SNS represents. The most common being “They are reincarnated brothers” or  “They are best friends”. Am just going to debunk them from my point of view. 
Naruto and Sasuke are like brothers.....
Nope. 
The best brotherhood title, in this series, should officially go to Itachi and Sasuke. 
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You can argue as much as you want that Itachi mindfucked Sasuke and killed his parents....yaada yaada.... 
It is repeatedly shown why Itachi put a curtain on his own clan. The reason is, Uchiha clan decided to forcefully take over the village. No matter how much innocent you are, you cannot take over something with force. Dot. I will write about this in a separate post.
In short, Sasuke realised how his clan members were wrong after hearing the story from the First Hokage, Hashirama Senju. That’s why he openly proclaimed “I am going to protect Konoha and become Hokage”. 
Back to the topic, Itachi and Sasuke are blood brothers. If I ship them both, then what you claim is very valid. 
The above gif says, “Sasuke, I know, I made a mistake by filling you with hatred. But whatever you decide to do from now on, I will love you always”. Meaning, He stopped treating Sasuke as a kid and accepts that Sasuke has his own path to walk.
This is exactly how brothers behave. I would do the same to my kid sister. You can see a fraternal instinct from Itachi’s eyes realizing that this is their last time together.
Another thing, Brothers trope always has this hierarchy.... Protect the younger sibling no matter what. It is evident from Madara/Izuna and Hashirama/Tobirama.
Not convinced?
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If you pull the Indra and Ashura bullshit, let me tell you one thing. Indra and Ashura were separated and formed their own clan long ago. They eventually branched off into Uchiha and Senju clans. No way you can relate a century old blood relation as brothers. It’s just their chakra got reincarnated over and over. 
Don’t pull up an incest angle between Naruto and Sasuke. Because they never shared a womb. Dot. 
Naruto and Sasuke are Best Friends only.
You know what, you are almost right. I thought that for a very long time. Remember I never wore any shipping goggles ON. 
There are two types of best friend categories. Best Friends without a reason and Best Friends through rivalry. 
Best Friends without a reason in Narutoverse are: Shikamaru/Choji. 
They just became friends and became BFF. They won’t fight or hurt each other. But when you have something to share...you would go to that person and share everything honestly.
Best Friends through Rivalry: Kakashi/Obito, Hashirama/Madara, Naruto/Sasuke
I really cannot provide more proof for the first two pairings as Best Friends as it is not the scope of this post. Although the latter two also qualifies for shipping category. Why?
Because, the common thing among them is that all the three Uchihas awakened/reawakened their Sharingan for their best friend. But Hashirama/Madara and Naruto/Sasuke are the only pairings to awaken or evolve Sharingan when trying to break their bonds with each other. 
Special Brownie points for Madara. He had 4 brothers and lost 3 but still couldn’t awaken his Sharingan but when trying to break up with Hashirama, his eyes were brimming red. 
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Sasuke’s Sharingan matures in the first Valley of The End.
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That’s why I excluded Hashirama/Madara and Naruto/Sasuke from this Best Friends list.
Because to the both Uchihas, the other person meant something special which cannot be comprehended into a mere term called ‘Best Friends’.
Which is exactly why Kakashi/Obito would perfectly fall into this category.
The way they quarrel, fight with each other, protect each other are perfect scores for a friendship. What makes them best friends is when Obito decided to give his Sharingan despite Kakashi was always putting a cold air around him and most importantly asked him to protect his love ‘Rin’. Also Kakashi carried his friend’s will to his heart and passed on to Team 7.
It all falls under ‘In the memory of my Best Friend’ trope.
Obito may be a trash but he is a good friend. Because after Rin was killed, he massacred everyone around him except for Kakashi. He could have killed him. Understandable. Or he could have plucked his Sharingan back (because he literally plucked most of the Sharingans from the Uchiha clan massacre and kept those eyes as a reserve). This could have enabled him to use Susanoo. I believe Susanoo can only be used with Mangekyo Sharingan in both eyes. But for some reason, he didn’t. 
So what makes me think Naruto and Sasuke love each other, not as a brother and not as a friend but something beyond which I can’t term?
My way of shipping is not about marriage, sex and rearing babies. Because literally everyone does this as an obligation. 
So, I don’t ship them in terms of living together in my headcanon and having sex daily. Nope. But it is not wrong though if you ship in that sense.
In this Narutoverse, Women are just some stow away pieces whose sole existence is to fawn over their dreamboy and cry for them. (Usually literally nothing useful comes out of them). Me being a girl, as much as I hate this setup but I have come to terms with whatever it is and have accepted it. If you are a girl looking for a strong female character...... this is not the place. Watch something else. 
But I draw inspiration from male characters who are characterized deeply for which I have to applaud the creator. Reason being, the very first character which I connected with was Itachi. It was when Sasuke thinks about his past with his family in the flashback before the first VotE battle in part I. I will be writing a separate post about Itachi in this week. 
In short, If you are a person who wants inspiration, draw it from male characters. Not in a single moment, you stoop so low for characters like Hinata and Sakura. That’s not how I envision myself or any woman. Dot.
With all this being said, I ship them as a couple who necessarily don’t have to get married or have sex... But they each other has some special allowance towards each other in their hearts which no one can touch, not even their wives or children. 
This doesn’t mean I accept what came after episode 478 as they are literally something they made for $$$$$. 
There are some basic traits which are absolutely necessary for a ship to sail successfully. They are Acknowledgement, Reason, No Hierarchy, Influence, Owning each others rights and Privilege. (All these reasons should come from both the sides for the ship to be worthy)
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Acknowledgement, I mean here, is to accept and acknowledge what they are to each other.
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They both agree that they are Bonded/Friends verbally as well as emotionally.
To me, this is essential in any relationship especially for the ones you are trying to ship. I didn’t see this in any other ships like SS or NH where it is always one sided. Sakura confessed before the village entrance to which Sasuke said “You really are annoying!!”. Hinata proposed in Pain arc. Naruto didn’t even acknowledge her confession. He went on to beg for pardon for Sasuke. Again she proposed in the War at the expense of Love Cupid “Neji”. Naruto went on to joke with Minato that Sakura is his Girl Friend. 
If I were in both of these girls place, I would literally be mad and drop this shit right away.
Wheras in SNS, I saw both the people I am trying to ship were asking “What am I to you?”, to which they reply “You are my friend”. To me this is very important.
Reason
To those who are saying “Love is blind”, “Love is Madness”, “Love needs no reason”, you all need self-evaluation. This is not some K Drama situation where you don’t need any reason. You should know why you love someone and why you need the other’s presence.
Naruto’s reason is very simple.
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I could provide many reasons. But here, Sasuke, without any reservations... knowing full well of the consequence if he feed Naruto but still extended the helping hand to someone who was always hostile. It is just like what Iruka did. And many incidents which happened during Land of the Waves arc are evident.
He wanted to be friends with this lonely Uchiha boy way back when he was around 7 or 8 for a simple reason that he understands his pain more than anyone. But he really became friends when they were grouped together for Team 7.  
Sasuke’s reason goes even way beyond when Naruto series started.
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“Because he felt relief”.
Imagine a young boy who witnessed a massacre before his eyes and lost everyone he loved. But somehow another young boy of his age made him feel relieved. This explains why Sasuke went all out of his way to make friendship with Naruto despite being aloof. 
Isn’t this what we want from someone we love?  
Rather than being completely insensitive about an orphan life or just stalking from the distance and never offered any support, I would prefer someone who understands my pain from their heart and try to reach me. Sasuke reached out to him by offering the lunch and Naruto reached out to him by making him his rival and bug him.
NO HIERARCHY
This is pretty self-explanatory. Unlike blood brothers, there should be no hierarchy in a relationship I want to ship. 
We saw Naruto yells at Sasuke many times absolutely for no reason, despite Sasuke bearing this cold attitude. Probably he is the only person who can call him by such variety of names. 
Sasuke always calls him by his trademark ‘Usuratonkachi’. Sometimes he calls him fool just like everyone. But was never insulting or mean towards Naruto. Except for that time in the final battle, he made fun of his Shadow Clone jutsu citing his loneliness. 
In short, be it a physical fight or verbal offense.... neither of them wilts like a flower. They equally give back. 
The only other person who can verbally assault Sasuke is Karin and probably the only girl who never addresses him as “Sasuke-Kun”. 
U-SU-RA-TON-KA-CHI..... Why do Sasuke spend such an effort to call someone with a 6 syllabic word, instead NA-RU-TO, a 3 syllabic word which is way more convenient to call?? I always wonder.
POSITIVE INFLUENCE
I don’t have to spell out anything here. There are many obvious examples but will try to keep it short. 
Naruto became strong because of Sasuke. He trained hard for 3 years with Jiraiya , a month with Kakashi developing Rasen Shuriken and controlled Kurama’s power with Killer Bee. Except for Sage Mode jutsu everything he learnt was all for bringing Sasuke back. 
In short, Sasuke is Naruto’s predominant strength. 
Though Naruto was not the source of strength for Sasuke, but he brings out many vibrant emotions in Sasuke which he really needed for his traumatic mind otherwise he would always be that cold angry brooding doll without any emotions and I am sure Sasuke enjoys to banter with Naruto.
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LOL!!! I don’t know why Sasuke feels competitve here. It’s pretty childish even for Sasuke.
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Friendly tease :-) I think he also protected Sakura in this scene. He can also ask her the same, isn’t it? I mean as a friend. 
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The best one is yet to come
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It’s incredibly hilarious to see how Sasuke pouts when he was with Naruto. Sakura!!!! You third wheeling joker :-D :-D
Throughout Shippuden, Sasuke never shows his emotions with anyone. He either looks very cold or angry.
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Reminiscing his Team 7 days, for a split second. 
Probably the only positive emotion is this, in all of the Shippuden. I mean not counting Episode 478.
I don’t think Sakura brought any kind emotions in Sasuke except annoyance when they were together in Team 7. Or Hinata too. These girls just moan “Sasuke-Kun”, “Naruto-Kun” but brings nothing to the table. Total wastrels!!!!!
OWNING EACH OTHER’S RIGHTS
This section is exactly where SNS moves on to a whole different level.
Sasuke wanted to inflict his pain over everyone who lives in peaceful Konoha for what it did to Itachi. (though I don’t really accept with Sasuke here since he never even bothered to question about his clan’s history, but what he was doing is understandable. Just like Naruto tells him).
But the context here is Sasuke is on a murder rampage. Starting from the Kage Summit, killing Danzo, unnecessarily hurting Karin and almost reached a point where he could not be stopped anymore. Then Ms.Annoying appears. She literally have no fucking clue what Sasuke is going through. So started to spout nonsense that she wanted to go with Sasuke-Kun with an ulterior motive to kill him without a strong resolve. 
The interesting SS dynamics here is Sasuke asks Sakura “Do you know what I want?” and to which she gives a carefree-shitty-pathetic answer “I don’t care. I will do whatever you want”. Geez!!!
If I were Sasuke, I would think, “This person standing before me don’t even care about what I want but coming with an intent to kill me and not only that... she is a kunoichi from Konoha where I planned to inflict my pain by slaughtering them.. I better ram my Chidori and be done with it”... He doesn’t see her as his former Teammate. He just want to kill that person.
However, Kakashi deflects the attack and saves Ms.Useless. 
( Me : I am a Sasuke fan through and through. But, Sakura..... You always says you will do this, do that.... But you never succeed at anything... Why is that? Why are you even continue being a ninja? No one asked you to kill Sasuke, you decided to. But why don’t you kill him. Probably you would’ve earned my begrudging respect... Pffft” ****sighs with a heavy second hand embarassment)
Anyways, Sasuke becomes an unstoppable maniac at this point because he was very irritated on seeing Kakashi and Sakura spouting some unreachable nonsense. So he started to attack Kakashi as he is even more irritated on seeing his Sharingan.
Again, Ms.Idiot wants to kill Sasuke when he is at his weakest point due to chakra exhaustion and that too from behind his back. (You!!! Gutless wrench). Sasuke sensed this and attempted to kill her again... (Naruto!!! You idiot. Why did you save her...)
However, Naruto appears and saves her. Naruto and Sasuke’s eyes meet each other.
But somehow Sasuke calmed down and hears out Naruto for what he has to say. He says, “Whatever you are doing until now, it’s understandable”. 
Kakashi wanted to kill him and Sasuke got riled up and prepare his Chidori. Anyways, Naruto intervenes and they go to some meta physical plane and talks privately. And Naruto comes up with his idea and announces as below:
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Me: Naruto!!!! Sweety..... Do you realize that you have a big dream of becoming a Hokage which you have been shouting from Day 1? But still you want to overthrow everything for that one person who is in unbearable pain. It’s alright. But you don’t want to go alone or send him alone. No Best friend would go this far. And to those Sakura shippers.... Why didn’t Sakura try to bear the burden? Why didn’t she come up with this Idea? Afterall, you spout nonsense like ‘Sakura saved Sasuke from Darkness, isn’t it?’ And, Naruto.... Who gave you the right to take his hatred and shoulder the burden? And what makes you think you are that only person to do it??? Sasuke, might have other special person in those 3 years. How can you decide on Sasuke’s behalf??? Aren’t you going overboard ?
The answer to all the above is simple, Naruto can risk anything for Sasuke. And he clearly knew that Sasuke’s only living bond is him.
And what happened next was almost unbelievable and for the first time I thought ‘What is it with these two guys?’. 
Sasuke agrees with Naruto’s proposition to not destroy Konoha before fighting with Naruto. 
Me: Sasuke!!!! You have every right to reject his proposition. Since, he was not in your life for the past 3 years, your side of bond with Naruto should have been cut-off long back, right? Sasuke??? Well, at this point he was just your former Team 7 member. You don’t need to honor your proposition. You can attack Konoha anytime. Why did you accept?
Also Me: Sweety!!! Why do you always question Naruto ‘Who am I to you’? Why do you need his opinion always? There is an annoying princess standing behind Naruto vying for your attention. And yet you didn’t even ask her this question at any time. But before Naruto, you completely calmed down from your rampage and willing to wait for what he has to say plus asking for his validation. After all you don’t care about anything, why just Naruto???
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And the reason being, Naruto is still his closest bond which he couldn’t cut off despite trying very hard. After all, Many years ago, Sasuke was the one, who readily jumped in to protect Naruto knowing full well that it’s a trap. He was ready to throw away his revenge for this boy back then. Sasuke is afraid that he will give in to this bond once more and Naruto is his weakness which he wants to eliminate so badly.
This is definitely not any Best Friend would do..... Fix that in your mind.
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The purpose of these GIFs is not show how protective Sasuke is..... Well, I can talk about it all day. Let’s save it.
Me: Yo!!!! Sasuke..... You wanted to kill Naruto.... You said so yourself under the bridge. Meaning, He is the only person standing between your goal and your resolve and Naruto is always known to weaken your resolve. And yet why are you protecting him here? There is absolutely no need. Because, if there is a situation like Kaguya where both of you are must needed to save this world , then there is a reason to save him. But why now? Plus do you know, if Naruto dies, then Madara’s plan may not succeed because if a Jinchuriki dies, tailed beast also dies. It is perfect for your Revolution, isn’t it? Who gave you the right to own his life? Obito has his reason to kill Naruto, why not let him?Why is it that you want to personally remove him from your life? If he is dead by an external factor, you can carry on your path without any interference and pain. Why go so far to protect him ?
The answer is Sasuke values Naruto’s life more than his own even during his Team 7 days. He has this high esteem for Naruto and almost consider it to be a shame if some worthless fool takes his life. And Sasuke never hated Naruto. He once hated Itachi and his resolve to kill was real and intense. But when Orochimaru asked him to kill 1000 people for practice, Sasuke never killed anyone. He even implemented no kill policy for his team “Hebi”. So, someone like Sasuke who never liked to kill random innocent people, how could he let some trash take away a life, he considers dearly to the same level of Itachi? That’s why in this situation, his body moved on his own to protect something special for him. He may not agree it, but he always shows it.
But some other ship wankers try to say Sasuke may have said “You are annoying” but inside he deeply loved her which is why he was smiling. If so, Why didn’t Sasuke never showed his care not even once? He not only tried to kill her twice when she was defenseless but also let her die twice or didn’t bother at all during the war. Or show me where these soul level connection happened between SS or NH
In short, Sasuke and Naruto own each other’s rights unconsciously. Because they are the only ones who can understand each other’s soul which nobody can reach.
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Me: Oh, by the way Sasuke, I think Susanoo should be used like this. You really don’t need your hand to protect Naruto. Susanoo can do it’s work for you. Minato would be proud though!!!!
PRIVILEGE
Most of the points I written above are in and of itself is a privilege they give for each other and not for anyone else. Privilege is essential in a ship. Because it shows how different a loved one is from normal people. 
For Naruto, 
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I originally want to put how he begs for forgiveness on Sasuke’s behalf before Raikage and weeps immeasurably before hyperventilating. But this one trumps the other. Naruto literally broadcasted everyone how important Sasuke is to him and how he regretted not offering his friendship at that time and how he couldn’t stop Sasuke from reaching Orochimaru. 
If you want to inspire Alliance shinobi forces, you should have shown how you worked so hard from the bottom to top. Projecting Sasuke as your regret and inspiring people shows how deeply you prioritize this person which affects you after so many years and hence, you don’t want any more regrets. 
It’s very unconventionally romantic which passes the shipping category in flying colours. 
For Sasuke,
The following is the Land of the waves arc which was novelized in the name of Innocent Heart, Demonic Blood released in 2006. 99.9% of the material is exactly as it happens in Manga/Anime. 
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This is the privilege Sasuke provides for Naruto. “ But coming from Sasuke, It almost counted as a hug”... 
BROWNIE POINTS:
Now, the following are the scenes which add a mysterious flavour to this ship. I sincerely don’t understand why Kishimoto put this. I mean I am absolutely happy with it, but why? What was he thinking while drawing these scenes? 
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It’s also strange that, whenever they clash a Chidori with Rasengan..... They always gets repelled to their own sides and fall with a loud thump. But Naruto’s posture looks very perfect, I mean it looks like someone carried him and laid him down. Anyways, What’s Sasuke doing on Naruto’s side?? He should have fell on the opposite side. Why didn’t he walk away? There is absolutely no reason for Sasuke to come over to Naruto’s side and have an intense meaningful gaze. 
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This is another mysterious plus intense scene. I am still wondering, Is this really Sasuke? He is a person who avoids casual touches with anyone other than his brother. I’ve seen so many times Sasuke rejecting hugs from Sakura. I can’t even imagine what Kishimoto was thinking. 
If you people pass these scenes off as Brotherhood or Best Friend chemistry... Then you lack basic human emotions. That’s all. 
Me: Well, Sasuke, If you really want to kill him, you should have shovelled your sword right through Naruto’s vital point when you made that exuberant landing. There is literally no need for you to draw a long sword in close quarters. And what about the Personal Space??? With your speed, you can land without leaning on Naruto’s shoulders... 
Also Me: Yo, Naruto... You were panicking when Sai does the same....but you don’t even flinch when Sasuke invades your personal space????
Anyways, it’s funny that both the intense scenes I have mentioned here were initiated by Sasuke. Quite strange and thrilling.
So, to conclude.... All these scenes I have mentioned  made me unconsciously ship them as a pair. With all these being said, I believe all the ingredients for a good romance were laid perfectly. A moment of impulsive tension or affection, say a hug, between them after a difficult battle could mess with both and make a romance happen. And I don’t think either of them will deny especially Sasuke. 
I don’t see any of this aspect in other popular ships such as SS and NH. If I am Sakura or Hinata in this universe, I will not be okay with my pair doing all these things with other person. I intentionally left scenes from Episode 478 as it is so intense and require a separate post. I am happy that even without Episode 478, SNS ship sails high. So, I believe both Sakura and Hinata are still fourth wheeling their respective pairs in Boruto universe also, I guess. 
P.S: I don’t watch Boruto
Final memento:
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No way a friend will look this mesmerized on seeing the other one. 
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ohhthereuare · 3 years
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Loved your tags on my norribeth post! I try to be nice bc willabeth is SO popular but I don’t like that ship 😭 I love seeing people salty about it in the wild bc I choose violence
then you've come to the right place 🔪🔪🔪
oh gosh oh gosh where do I even start
I completely agree with all of your points concerning norribeth even though I will fight for sparrabeth till my dying breath but I feel like arguments concerning both of these ships have a lot of common ground and most of them are rightfully pointed against willabeth
and since I have literally no-one to talk to about this and its been brewing inside me for y e a r s we're in for an essay
(of course I harbour no hate towards orlando's performance, he did a great job and it's not his fault his character is a whiny wimp most of the time)
even if they had ended the franchise on "the curse of the black pearl" willabeth's arc would have already been on thin ice. it made sense in a span of one movie and one story- the protagonist rescues and gets the girl, the girl sees something more in the protagonist and favourable circumstances let them be together in the end. except potc is more than just one movie and even that one movie was something more than that.
elizabeth may have been raised as a dame but she was never a damsel in distress therefor what william loved from the start was a false image of her. to his credit it was probably an imagine elizabeth herself believed in for a long time because she had no chance to prove herself wrong. he thought her proper. he thought her honourable. he thought her delicate and sweet and helpless. then we've got william who's just a simple blacksmith and as cute as he may seem, he's unattainable, with rough hands that know hard labour, with sweaty face and messy hair, and most importantly, he's somehow linked to pirates that elizabeth's secretly so entranced by. i'm not gonna go into too much unnecessary detail because we know how this story goes but i w i l l point out an important conclusion- this story is not at all what it seems. because will has never been a pirate and he will never be one. he may have ended up on a ship, may have been forced to work side by side with a real pirate, he may have even used his wicked methods in the course of the entire franchise but william turner is n o t a pirate. he only mimics one. and that's what enrages me so much about the ending of "at wit's end"- will has gotten a fate that he did not want, did not deserve, did not even appreciate. to him it turned out to be another responsibility that he had to take on himself, that he would dutifully follow. all he has wanted throughout these 3 movies was to save whoever he (mostly wrongly) thought needed saving at that time and he wanted to go home. he wanted to be done with it. he wanted to settle. he's never said a thing about a treasure, about a ship, about the sea, about freedom. at first it was a girl then it was his father. it was always an honourable goal and having reached one he was ready to sail back home and happily stay there. that's why the ending of "the curse of the black pearl" already feels spoiled, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. "a pirate" elizabeth says, while lovingly looking at will. no, sweetheart. never have been, never will be. you're in for a bitter surprise.
now, elizabeth. oh lord. never have been a truly proper lady, never will be. in the face of deadly danger she cannot handle a sword (yet) but she claws and bites her way out of a fight with whatever's at hand and she makes a deal with a deadly undead captain and she's ready to stab him with a kitchen knife, she's ready to kill this man before she even knows he cannot be killed. she may need a little help but she doesn't need to sit around and wait to be rescued. throughout the course of the first movie and then the second and then the third she becomes more and more vicious and at first she wants to be free of the corset then she wants to be with whomever she wants then she wants to sail to the horizon then she wants to become the goddamned pirate king and lead a fleet of these wobbly-legged, rum-soaked pirates against the east-trading company and also a very dangerous, damned lord of the underwater underworld. nothing ever seems enough to her. she thought she wanted, loved will because she thought he represented everything that she has always secretly craved- freedom and a little danger. william was neither of those things. i guess that's the biggest hidden plottwist of this franchise- elizabeth, expected to stay proper, doesn't, and william, not expected to stay a good, does. somehow they switch the roles of the archetypes they would normally be supposed to fullfill and that change was supposed to completely alter their previous motivations and goals.
and maybe she was too set on the topic of love to let herself let him go but their relationship surely felt the strain of their sudden differences. the whole of "dead man's chest" was elizabeth testing new grounds and desperately grasping at old ones and the whole of "at wit's end" was the heavy burden of disappointing discovery. they had very little in common. they couldn't trust each other anymore. they wanted very different lives and were willing to do different things to achieve them and the only thing keeping them together was "love" but at one point it became just a word, a new name for a habit fading away. hell the whole of "dead man's chest" was elizabeth redefining the word love into lust as you have rightly pointed out in your post. would they have gotten married had it not been for the burning need to just jump each other's bones? or more accurently, to jump anybody's bones for that matter?
i feel like elizabeth ending up with norrington or jack would have made a lot of sense for her character arc, both for very different and quite opposite reasons. norrington would have been the anchor keeping her morals safe and jack would have been the wind in her sails steering her towards the wilder, more chaotic, pirate side of her nature (peas in a pod, darling). both men saw her for what she truly was- strong, fearless, unyealding. will saw her for who she was in his mind and in the end that was who she was forced to become- a housewife bound to land, destined to tend to the treasure of her not-pirate husband that got to sail to the horizon. but at least she got to get married, right? 🙂
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redworld96 · 3 years
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It was obvious that Dolores was the original one of NNT, and that she was taking care of Nasiens like a little brother. I'm glad I was right on this part. 
Sadly, the identity of the real child of King and Diane is still unknown. The theory about Nasiens as possible candidate is almost gone now after this chapter:  Nasiens is a human abandoned in the valley when he was just a baby, and a pharmacist who lived there adopted and raised him as his grandchild.  So, we will have to wait more months or years to see the real Kiane’s child. Anyway, I like Nasiens a lot, I hope he becomes a main character and joins Percival's group.
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Well, about Kiane’s child, we return again to the starting point: knowing absolutely nothing about the child. Not even a tiny hint in an arc within a territory of giants/fairies, a boy that looked like them and with the return of Dolores in the story 🤷‍♀️ We cannot blame the fandom for theorizing in this case since it has been Nakaba himself who has fooled us giving all this information and knowing that the identity of Kiane's child was a pending issue on NNT for the sequel. On late 2018, Nakaba said on an interview “Well, to know how King and Diane’s children would look like, you have to wait a little longer for that”. My question is: How much time is “little longer” for Nakaba? 5 years? Maybe 10? And why so much long-term secrecy about it? Why not revealing some info at the end of NNT just like he did with the other kids? It was hinted a lot of times the three main couples would end having children, and they did, but yet only Kiane’s one is still a total mistery, even after a year since NNT ended. When King said “Tristan is not as cute as our own kid” on ch 346, he could have at least revealed the gender there... 
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I already said it on several occasions: If nowadays I read 4KOTA it is only to make time while the anime continues and while we wait for the new movie. But if after the premiere of the film (and after getting its spoilers) we still do not know the name, nor the genre, nor a single clue of how that child looks like, I will drop the sequel until it is revealed some information and someone let me know about it. After all, their child is the only pending issue that I have left in NNT, along with Kiane's wedding that at least I know that I will be able to see that soon (with 10 previous months losing hope and starting thinking I would never see their wedding). 
BUT I am not going to wait another year in vain again, that’s for sure. Mainly because I am not able to handle it anymore. For my own sake, I definitely prefer leaving the 4KOTA/NNT fandom indefinitely after the movie is released. 
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nettlestonenell · 3 years
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(above, an unpopular opinion?--if so, the first of many)
The King: Eternal Monarch Catches Plenty of Hate Online Why That Is, And Why You Should Ignore It Part I
(to be posted in several parts, spoilers possible, but will be limited)
Subjects of the Kingdom, Citizens of the Republic, and (as always) Gentle Readers:
If you’ve spent any amount of time searching The King: Eternal Monarch, Lee Min Ho, Kim Go Eun, or various other adjacent topics online since 2020, the fact that Kdrama The King: Eternal Monarch is more likely to be associated with negative coverage rather than positive, is far from news to you.
Just the other day, @dumbassdictionarysds popped into my DMs and asked if I might have a post in me to explain what I thought the roots of this heated rejection of the show might be.
“I was thinking of making a video on TKEM and its criticisms and why people didn't like it and why I liked it,” they wrote, “I would really appreciate if you could give some insight into what common criticisms you saw and what you thought of them.” 
It should come as no surprise at this point that, as someone showed up wanting to talk about--and hear about--TKEM that my responding was an absolute no-brainer, and a welcome moment of elation.
As we dive in, let me give two (sorta three) shout-outs to places I’ve read meta for TKEM, whose thoughts on the matter and the show have no doubt helped shaped my own opinions and understanding of it: bitchesoverdramas.com and thefangirlverdict.com, with a nod to TKEM’s Wikipedia page as well. For the record (because it seems it might prove germane here) I am neither Korean nor have I/do I live in Korea (nor the Kingdom of Corea, for that matter).
Okay. Many people (perhaps most people?—at least online fan people) really, really have issues with TKEM. Writer Kim Eun Sook’s shows, while generally well received by fandom and critics, are no strangers to occasional controversy-- particularly of her two most recent dramas available through Netflix, Mr. Sunshine and The King: Eternal Monarch. 
Research seems to show that KES tends toward being something of a polarizing figure in fandom. Those that love her don’t just love her a little, but will die on this hill, and those who dislike what she does can really, really, REALLY, not stand it (and are also ready to die on that hill). 
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That’s a lot of people camped out, ready to die on their respective hills. For every person that thinks Goblin is the greatest kdrama ever filmed, there is a person ready and waiting to dismember Heirs’ Kim Tan.
No one should be surprised that KES’ new show would prove polarizing.
So let’s get down to business. Why all the hate?
Expectations Deliberately and Consistently Subverted
Was this Lee Min Ho’s Regarding Henry-moment?
WRT TKEM, let’s start with the elephant/top star in the room: stratospheric Hallyu star Lee Min Ho’s return to viewers’ screens following his two year absence due to mandatory military service (and removal from public life). 
There is a weight added, then, to fans’ expectations for the show. It’s not just LMH’s next project, it becomes his MOST IMPORTANT project, his ONLY new project. (Since 2016′s The Legend of the Blue Sea, I believe).
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Don’t ask me to react to this photo. I’ve been processing its existence for months now, no conclusions to share yet in sight.
These are fans of Boys Over Flowers’ Goo Joon Pyo, of Heirs’ (also by KES) Kim Tan. These are die-hard viewers who know how they like to consume their LMH on-screen. But KES (and LMH, b/c he’s actually spoken directly to this) aren’t interested in handing out on-brand LMH anymore. Therefore, his Corean King/Emperor Lee Gon is much more in line with the mature, controlled, focused and kind Joseon magistrate Dam Ryeong (from The Legend of the Blue Sea) than the out-of-touch disaster boy chaebols like GJP and KT that rocketed him to global stardom and notoriety.
For instance, TKEM has its hero Lee Gon (LMH) experiencing an epiphany moment of actually understanding and feeling deep empathy for what the female lead is going through—an understanding and an emotion that that utterly evades both GJP and KT (and let’s face it, the majority of kdrama male leads) throughout their entire series.
Do people perhaps hate on LMH in TKEM just as they hated Harrison Ford’s attempt in Regarding Henry to choose projects that artistically interested and challenged him but were found NOT to interest movie goers that rather wanted to see (what they expected from) “a Harrison Ford film”? Is it that viewers wanted to watch (what they expected from) a LMH kdrama?
Had the character of Lee Gon been written and performed as more of a GJP-role would the show’s reception have been more robust and less controversial?
Thankfully, for this viewer, we’ll never have to know.
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You cannot truly address LMH’s return to screens without bringing up TKEM episode one, and the way the writing chose to handle what surely had been incredibly hyped in Korean media (LMH’s return). 
Does LMH storm the screen in the first moments, triumphant? Is his face the first thing we see? Not even close. The show begins in a muddle for viewers, not sure where we are or what’s going on. And then it…doesn’t do much to clear that up. [more on that in a later section] 
Essentially, the show begins in a police interrogation room, during a scene that actually takes place in the penultimate episode of the show. It then proceeds to a seminal event that happened 25 years BEFORE the main timeframe the show operates in. 
Neither of these things involve a visible LMH. IN FACT, it is more than 37 minutes into the first episode before he’s acting on-screen. [Yes, I know he’s shown in a 10 second lightning flash right before the show’s 4 minute mark—but that’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it, and barely even counts as an amuse-bouche.]
When we do see LMH as the grown Lee Gon (a child actor having portrayed him for the prior 37 minutes), if a viewer is holding entitled golden boys GJP and KT in their mind, it changes their potential reading of Lee Gon’s entire introduction to us as king. The humorous sniping between him and Court Lady Noh over getting married and producing an heir might take on a (misinterpreted) nasty edge, if one is predisposed to expect LMH to portray an temper-tantrum-throwing male character of great wealth whose character arc is to redeem him from his bratty nature through finding the love of an average good woman [Hint: that’s not at all what’s going on here.]--if that’s what a viewer showed up for, they’re going to have those expectations disappointed. And if they can’t shed them, they are going to hate this show.
...to be continued in Part II  “Subtitles? More like Sub-par-titles“
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FATWS Episode 4
I’m finally fucking getting time to watch this thing. 
Dramatic reactions, incoherent ramblings and spoilers under the cut. 
Right off the bat I’m feeling like the only thing I really remember about Episode Three is vaguely not trusting Sharon Carter. I’m really supposed to believe Peggy Carters Niecey, defender of Captain America and dismantler of Hydra really is selling stolen art in Madripoor? Seems fake, but okay. 
Let’s get into it. 
Have I mentioned I love Karli’s freckles? Her hair and her freckles kill me, I never understood people who don’t think freckles are cute. They are actual dots of delightfulness
AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AYO AYO AYO She is so ridiculously beautiful wtf. I’m shaving my head TOMORROW so I can be half as amazing as her. 
Wait is this a Wakanda flashback? Six years ago... ohhhh look at my goatherder Jesus Bucky, let that baby rest. WHY IS SHE SAYING THE WORDS? LOOK AT HIS EYES PLEASE STOP. This is hurting my soul. Oh god homecoming, and it’s the moment he knew Steve. Oh the tears, I can’t. I CAN’T. “You are free” I’m already crying and it’s been 1.2 minutes. 
Damn right the White Man doesn’t understand anything of their loss and shame. LISTEN TO BUCKY SPEAK WAKANDAN. I LOVE IT. Urgh she’s so beautiful. Her murder strut is impeccable. I’m in love and I’m swoooooooning. 
“It was sweet of you to defend me” Zemo take ten to twenty percent off the top there, This isn’t a date.
Hey, I feel like I don’t love that they refer to Karli as “Karli”. If she was a man, it would be Last Name Basis. “She’s a kid” “she’s a supremacist.” hmmm seeing a parallel between Wanda and Karli and the way they were treated. “She’s a kid?” She’s actually ridiculously powerful but thanks for that. (no Wanda hate here, just pointing it out) 
“My TT” ITS HIS AUNTIE BUCKY YOU’D KNOW THIS IF YOU WERE EVER INVITED TO THE COOKOUT 
Uh Zemo, maybe we don’t be the creepy guy in the coat offering children candy. I mean, the tactic worked but you could literally not be creepier right now.  Honestly I don’t know why I’m so surprised he’s keeping the Donya thing from them, duh he’s a villain, but I’m still surprised?? The sugar daddy role got me FOOLED
Sam being the one that understands what it means to be fighting to be on the other side of the “barbed wire fences” is so sad. 
BUCKY’S MAD. Sam has something against head tilts, that’s so funny to me for some reason. I DON’T TRUST SHARON. 
Why do I smell some foreshadowing with Karli’s talk about destroying the shield and how it’s a relic of a bygone era and a symbol of everyone that was left out
“take it easy before it gets weird” SAM. 
John Walker literally looks more sketchy every time we see him. Also, if you can’t say “son, just don’t” and everyone stops in their tracks, you are NOT Captain America. Its worrying me that Battlestar (battleship? lmaoooo) is starting to side with BuckySam because if there’s one thing literally every movie has taught me, it’s that the person who switches sides ends up dead and if I have to watch a POC first be relegated to sidekick and then killed I might actually riot
It’s so good to see Sam being Counselor!Sam. I think that gets so overlooked with him and I think it’s one of the most defining traits of his character. He’s not just a soldier, he’s not just brave, he’s seen the loss and he knows the struggle and he chose to help others through it while also being equally willing to suit back up and save the world. 
“Don’t patronize me” stop acting like a damn child. Why is John so twitchy, I don’t like it. OH is he really gonna say “this is easy for you, all this serum running through your veins” as if Bucky had a say in anything about in his life beyond Azzano. 
GET HIM BITCH punch his raggedy ass! 
Oh look at Bucky jumping, Winter Soldier, more like Winter Squirrel PARKOUR. Goddamn Zemo with his gun, oh no look at all that super soldier serum! I mean, you have to commend the guy for never wavering from his path. JOHN WALKER AND THE SERUM! It’s supposed to amplify what’s in your heart?? AND HE SUCKS OH NO. 
The power broker texts her “little girl” that’s so gross. 
“Separate them and kill Captain America” three months ago I would have howled at that line, now I’m like...meh. 
Sam wouldn’t have taken the serum-- not surprising. He’s a good man all by himself. No serum needed. Have you seen those arms? Actual Cannons of Freedom and Justice. “What about bucky” I love that he’s thinking about Bucky. Someone please protect these boys. 
Aw Bucky baby you’re not crazy. It’s funny to see him drink cos he definitely can’t get drunk. It’s the equivalent of some diva drinking a white wine spritzer. 
WHY IS JOHN WALKER BACK. 
THERE’S MY WOMEN OH MY GOD I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED IN MY LIFE. Do not shake her hand. John Walker, she will bite your hand off. Pointy Sticks, the Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever they want OMG HE TOUCHED HER omg. Look at Zemo sipping his drink LOOKING STRONG JOHN I CANNOT I CANNOT.
“Lets talk about this” Bucky is so calm. Bye bye Zemo. Oh GET it Sam with those fancy moves. 
...what just happened with Bucky’s arm. what just happened. “James” oh man waht does that mean?! Has Wakanda left him? Has he dishonored Them? My brain is moving too fast for this. 
I would like to have a moment of silence for John Walkers ego because he, a White Man (tm) and Solder (tm) and American (tm) just got his shit actually handed to him by a Black woman and he sat there and tried to more her “pointy stick” and couldn’t and then she full on did the shield kick thing while he sat on the ground and looked up at her and you know what? i think that’s very sexy of her, I will be watching this scene on repeat for the next hundred years wtf. 
Also ALSO? This is it. This is the moment where The Man (tm) can’t handle being beat so he goes and does something stupid, this is it, isn’t it? The Man Pain he just can’t tolerate? 
Oh my god Bucky’s face with his arm. I mean, it makes sense his arm would come off but to have himself literally disarmed (get it) in a fight is so... I mean it’s violating in a way, and its almost a betrayal as well but at the same time maaaaaaybe it’s a relief? Maybe its a relief to know he doesn’t always have to be a Soldier, he can take the arm off and just be Bucky?? 
Also I had to pause the show to write about this because my hand cramped up from trying to type too fast ughhh
Back into it 
ARM PORN NOISES I LOVE THEM
Whats an El Chapo? Oh wait, I figured it out. 
I love Lemar’s voice. He’s so confident talking about the serum but lets be perfectly honest, Karli Morgenthau and Steve Rogers are basically the same person a hundred years apart. If you don’t think Steve Rogers would have singlehandedly led a revolt against a world government he thought was wrong, you are 100% incorrect. Not that I think he wouldn’t have resorted to bombings etc, but also... that sort of life does awful things to people. 
WHY IS SHE CALLING SARAH. “My world doesn’t matter to America” oh sweetheart, I feel that in my soul. Sarah knows who Sam is. She knows he’s not working for John Walker. This is the first time I’ve been anti-Karli. I know she’s desperate but you don’t threaten someones babies. 
HEY LOOK THERE’S ME NOT TRUSTING SHARON AGAIN
It actually makes me angry to even see Walker carrying the shield like that. I’m aware it’s an overreaction, but your honor, I hate him. 
...Lemar? 
Don’t make me watch a POC die for some White Man’s story arc, don’t do that. 
Oh. Shit. 
Sam do something. SAM DO SOMETHING. HE’S NOT GOOD SAM! 
My god do I love watching Bucky fight. Those Kicks of Vengeance will never get old. CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKER use them wings Sam. 
Oh Hoskins is okay. Alright. 
Bucky with the good knives, I LOVE HIM. The fight scenes are always so well coordinated in WS. We see you definitely not killing when you absolutely could. 
OH FUCK HOSKINS WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT WE WEREN’T GOING TO DO THIS WHAT THE FUCK
...this makes me so mad wtf. We couldn’t have done this journey without pointlessly sacrificing a POC? No? Have to drag that trope out? Gonna make me watch another Black man be killed just so the White Guy can move his story forward. 
oh shit Walker is MAD. 
Fuck he just-- he just murdered someone with Steve’s shield. he just MURDERED SOMEONE WITH THE SHIELD AND EVERYONE WAS WATCHING. 
And look at him, he feels no remorse. He feels perfectly justified. He is DARING them to say something to him. He is America (tm) brutally silencing protests and rebellions and taking his own issues out on people he feels disrespect him and you can’t tell him he’s wrong because he can justify every drop of blood by making it about how he felt “they beat me and they weren’t even super soldiers. they disobeyed me. they should have listened to me. they killed my friend.”
I keep hearing preserum Steve saying “I don’t like bullies” and then imagining him beating the shit out of Walker. 
...That visual of the shield with blood on it... it’s so... shocking isn’t even the right word. Horrifying. Its horrifying.  
I don’t even know what to say. 
This episode was a whiplash. The writers of this series need to be commended. Also the stunt men and the fight choreographers. Fucking kudos, and now I need a stiff drink and a good cry because this episode took it OUT of me. 
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shivroyslut · 4 years
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I just listened to the whole Evermore album and I’m now on my second listen so here is Evermore songs I think are destiel related and whether they’re from Dean’s or Cas’ perspective (or both) - add more lyrics/parallels if you like
willow - both
“Wherever you stray I will follow”
champagne problems - okay tbh i dont see this as either of them but that one line...
“Your Midas touch on the Chevy door November flush and your flannel cure” - MS SWIFT ??? ARE YOU A HELLER ???? CHEVY, NOVEMBER, AND FLANNEL IN THE SAME SENTENCE ???
gold rush - Cas
“Cause I don't like a gold rush, gold rush; I don't like anticipatin' my face in a red flush; I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch; Everybody wants you; Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you; Walk past, quick brush; I don't like slow motion, double vision in rose blush; I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush” - yeah this is just Cas simping on Dean for so many seasons
“What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?” - But still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester
 ‘tis the damn season - both
“There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me; But if it's all the same to you; It's the same to me” - uhm this is just them fighting every season then making up a few epis later
“I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave” - PURGATORY
“I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay” - THIS IS JUST THE ENTIRE DESTIEL ARC IN THE FIRST HALF OF S15 LMAO
“Now I'm missing your smile, hear me out; We could just ride around; And the road not taken looks real good now” - this is Dean brooding every time Cas dies
tolerate it - Cas
“I sit and watch you; I notice everything you do or don't do”
“I wait by the door like I'm just a kid“
“If it's all in my head tell me now; Tell me I've got it wrong somehow”
“While you were out building other worlds, where was I?” - okay this is dean though
“Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?; I made you my temple, my mural, my sky; Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life” - this is Cas when they are fighting
“Always taking up too much space or time; You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I; Break free and leave us in ruins” - again when Dean is being an idiot and they fight
happiness - Cas
“But there was happiness because of you” - Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. You changed me. 
“Past the blood and bruise; Past the curses and cries; Beyond the terror in the nightfall; Haunted by the look in my eyes; That would've loved you for a lifetime; Leave it all behind” - ms swift are you a Cas girl ??
“All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness” - literally Cas just wanting Dean to forgive him for everything
coney island - Dean
“If I can't relate to you anymore; Then who am I related to?” - every time Dean feels betrayed by Cas but especially in s6 when Cas teams up with Crowley, like my man had so much trust in Cas only for him to be wrong
“Sorry for not making you my centerfold”
“The question pounds my head; What's a lifetime of achievement; If I pushed you to the edge?; But you were too polite to leave me; And do you miss the rogue; Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?; Will you forgive my soul; When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?” - no offence but this is exactly what went through Dean’s head when he was sitting there crying after Cas got yeeted into the empty
“Over and over; Lost again with no surprises; Disappointments, close your eyes; And it gets colder and colder; When the sun goes down” - Dean mourning every time Cas died after the second time
“And when I got into the accident; The sight that flashed before me was your face; But when I walked up to the podium I think that I forgot to say your name” - uhm Dean seeing Cas as his life flashed before his eyes when he got impaled by the rusty nail and wanted him by his side but the writers were cowards he got caught up in the moment with Sammy and didn’t pray for him to come
“But I think that I forgot to say your name; Over and over” - i just think Dean is hard on himself for not keeping Cas closer to him after Cas died in 15x18
ivy - Dean
“How's one to know?; I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones In a faith forgotten land; In from the snow; Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow; Tarnished but so grand” - I’M THE ONE WHO GRIPPED YOU TIGHT AND RAISED YOU FROM PERDITION
“And the old widow goes to the stone every day; But I don't, I just sit here and wait; Grieving for the living” - Dean just wanting a win (Cas back) in s13
“I wish to know; The fatal flaw that makes you long to be; Magnificently cursed” - you know just Cas being very cursed throughout the whole show, and the fatal flaw is his love for Dean humanity
“I'd live and die for moments that we stole; On begged and borrowed time” - i think this is for both cause Cas’ line “Dean you know I always appreciate our talks and our time together” but Dean definitely feels the same way I mean he made Cas watch all those movies
cowboy like me - both (very destiel)
“Never wanted love; Just a fancy car; Now I'm waiting by the phone; Like I'm sitting in an airport bar” - this is painfully obviously Dean
“Eyes full of stars; Hustling for the good life; Never thought I'd meet you here; It could be love; We could be the way forward; And I know I'll pay for it” - very obvious Cas line 
“And the skeletons in both our closets; Plotted hard to fuck this up” - just the universe not wanting them to be together
long story short - Cas
“I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me”
“And I fell from the pedestal; Right down the rabbit hole” 
“When I dropped my sword; I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door; And we live in peace; But if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready” - Cas always coming back and willing to give up everything for Dean
“And he feels like home”
“Now I'm all about you”
marjorie - both (but mainly Dean)
“Never be so kind; You forget to be clever; Never be so clever; You forget to be kind” 
“And if I didn't know better; I'd think you were talking to me now” - No I’m not talking to him, *proceeds to talk to and protect each other*
“What died didn't stay dead” - yah
“I should've asked you questions; I should've asked you how to be; Asked you to write it down for me; Should've kept every grocery store receipt; Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me” - Dean keeping the trench coat every time Cas dies
closure - Dean (but a little Cas)
“And seeing the shape of your name; Still spells out pain” - Dean after 15x18 seeing ‘Castiel’ on the table
“It cut deep to know ya, right to the bone”
“Don't treat me like; Some situation that needs to be handled” - can be Cas too
“I'm fine with my spite; And my tears, and my beers and my candles” - his anger stage when hes undergoing his 5 stages of grief after 15x18, and like every time he and Cas fight
“I don't need your closure” - ^
evermore - both ( this song is so destiel make this their fucking theme song)
“Motion capture; Put me in a bad light; I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone; Trying to find the one where I went wrong; Writing letters; Addressed to the fire” - Cas whenever Dean kicks him out and he doesn’t understand why or when Dean just let’s him go; and Dean in purgatory when he realises Cas was hiding from him, when he changed his memory to believe he let go of Cas, when he found out that Cas is the one who let him go. There is honestly so many examples for this line
“And I was catching my breath; Staring out an open window; Catching my death; And I couldn't be sure; I had a feeling so peculiar; That this pain would be for evermore” - Cas when he realises that he is in love with Dean but he can never be with him; and Dean when he thought he left Cas in purgatory and every time Cas died
“Hey December; Guess I'm feeling unmoored; Can't remember; What I used to fight for; I rewind thе tape but all it does is pause; On thе very moment, all was lost; Sending signals; To be double-crossed” - Cas when heaven pushed him away repeatedly and also when Dean pushed him away repeatedly when he was the whole reason he rebelled; and Dean when he just wanted that win in s13 and every other time he had doubt 
“Cannot think of all the cost; And the things that will be lost; Oh, can we just get a pause?; To be certain, we'll be tall again; Whether weather be the frost; Or the violence of the dog days; I'm on waves, out being tossed; Is there a line that I could just go cross?” - you know like whenever they feel hopeless; reminds me of the diner scene in s14e14 where they are talking about Michael
“And when I was shipwrecked; I thought of you; In the cracks of light; I dreamed of you; It was real enough; To get me through; I swear you were there” - Cas simping for Dean; Dean after escaping from purgatory seeing Cas everywhere
Anyways these are just my thought and links don’t attack me I’m just out here wasting time on a ship I was obsessed with in 2015 (I mean I am on break from uni and am jobless). Feel free to add more lyrics or parallels I’m pretty sure I missed quite a few. I do acknowledge that the album is definitely not about destiel and about Taylor herself but its just fascinating to find all these lyrical links to Dean and Cas’ relationship. 
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bittersweet netflix shadow and bone finale (s1 e8) rewatch; accoutrement: white wine with ice cubes in it (no YOU'RE a mom drink shh)
my wine's like fruity I love her
light and darkness title card we love to see it
Inej looking at Alina before she goes below deck to hide <3
okay that 'what can you really do on your own' was like not fun that shit hurted
okay but Jesper's 'not enough'? <3
oh no my baby Zoya's first inkling that Darkles does not really care
omg Helnik just appeared and I remembered how much heartbreak I have to face in this episode
gods I love Danielle as Nina so so much
'this can't be it' said she with her pleading smile with downturned eyebrows MA'AM I-
don't break my dumb little heart
I might hate Calahan's little accent but they're making me tear up
oh gods I literally cannot keep a hold on myself when Dani's accent bleeds through with full force, it's like she comes more alive or smth
'I will keep you warm' SIR WHAT-
I am surprised they showed a leaning in for a kiss so soon but I'm not mad about it
her little eyebrow twitch at 'what are waffles'
when that rando said 'i hunt slavers now' a dread settled into me because I knew what was about to go down
Matthias looking somberly at the stuffed wolf's head </3
I am so incredibly entranced by this exchange between Fedyor and Nina and what it represents, it's very interesting that they pushed up their storyline to match with the timeline
damn it's kind of jarring to be back in the Fold
'REMEMBER WHO'S DRIVING'??!!!! *you better stop* meme, *i am, disgusted* meme, *oh wow, oh wow* meme
Mal you fucking idiot you could never take the crows by surprise
the music rising as Kaz starts explaining his thought process, fucking perfection
haha Mal bitchass Inej caught you
'Because if he isn't with Kirigan's crew, he's with ours' WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED
'And why would we destroy the Fold? It's the greatest weapon we've got' valid point at the moment but you know I don't necessarily agree with your methods
the use of the light tunnel in the show instead of Alina just being a super flashlight in the books is quite an interesting addition as well
is this an inappropriate time to point out how pretty Ben Barnes is
okay I kind of love the depiction of the shadow powers okay sue me
'they are traitors who tried to kill you' why are you suddenly making valid points despite having kind of committed low scale genocide
'i never said I was smart' YES MAL BE THE VOICE OF HIMBOS EVERYWHERE
Kaz's face going from 'can you believe this idiot' at Mal to 'fuck me I'm gonna do the same thing aren't I' at Inej
'For who would oppose us now?' *himbo romantic rival appears out of nowhere and shoots at him* god I love this show
him standing calmly in his ridiculous all black attire after nodding at his soldier to stop the himbo in his tracks, i fucking can't
could she summon light without the Darkling making her after he put the collar on her until the uhm moment in the books? idts but in the show she can hmm
'only because I'm not in the game' you tell him Jesper
not me snickering at 'you'll be seen not as a saviour, but as a heretic' LMFAO
'Shame. I'll have to give that speech again now.' THIS SHOW IS A FUCKING COMEDY AND YOU CAN'T PROVE ME WRONG
YES LET'S FUCKING GO SULI SOLIDARITY
Darkles casually whipping the Cut out like a shuriken or a throwing knife at Jesper because he shot at him lmao I can't
INEJ FUCKING GHAFA STABBED ONE THE OLDEST AND MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN THAT WORLD AND THAT IS VERY TELLING OF HER POWER
that moment where you actually think that affected him despite having read the books and watched the show
and then he has to go and fucking say 'it will take more than this' and I can't be help but be a little bit impressed at this old fool's resilience
throwback to when he said 'the king is a child' sir you make some valid points sometimes and it does make it difficult to hate you
I would just like to inform everyone that it is currently 6:09 am IST and I am sipping my second mug of wine while watching netflix sab for the second time instead of doing my three papers that are due tomorrow
I'm sorry but Inej jumping to check on Zoya after she gets knocked over by the volcra? first class display of solidarity and sisterhood as well as Inej's inherent kindness
Kaz jumping in front of a FUCKING VOLCRA AND STABBING IT WITH HIS CANE to save Inej, you best believe love is true, kids
god the volcra are so ugly and gross, they did such a good job with them
they kind of remind me of these creatures (I think they might have been called Hollows or smth) from the Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children movie
STAG VISION TIME
despite my dislike for the callous nature with which the stag plotline was handled, I kind of dig the stag vision scene
'It's just me and you now, Alina. And we're all we need, anyway.' I actually feel bad for this old fool simping for this wonderful gorgeous powerful woman despite lying to her and manipulating her and exploiting her power
okay 'I never needed you' *stabs the bone fragment out of his hand* beautiful power move I fucking love you so so much
alright ben looking like ✨ that✨ not only in physical pain but also emotional pain at what the Darkling clearly considers another betrayal from this girl he wants to give the world and maybe? loves? maybe? or at least has feelings for makes my fucking heart hurt while simultaneously soar at Alina taking back control and reclaiming her power as her own and stepping into her own
'how do you claim such power' okay could have had better dialogue there writers
the fucking score lifting as she says 'you cannot claim what was not given to you' good people my heart is full
one day I'll talk about my defense of the chosen one trope because god damn I kind of love it
hmm I wonder was that brief hesitation that we saw on Alina's face due to her thinking about the 'you chose to betray our people' comment or the 'i was trying to save us' comment because that will define some of her actions in the later seasons (hopefully god if we get some, I honestly don't know what with this stupid brownface debacle)
I'm not saying talking about brownface and pointing out that it is wrong (for further context, I am actually brown) and harmful is stupid btw I'm talking about the incidents involving brownface in question
I don't wanna talk about this anymore but I might feel like I need to and end up posting about it idk
goodness Ivan actually believing in this cause makes me so sad because he too has been victimized by the system that ostracizes Grisha and he has every right to feel the way that he does
Ben actually fighting in that ridiculously heavy cloak and kefta when he's about to turn 40 this year makes me super impressed because I as a 19 year old sometimes wake up with muscle pulls after weeks of inactivity it's weird idk
also I understand that this Mal Darkling fight is completely fanservice and serves nearly no purpose to the plot in general but like I? love it?
'I don't have to kill you Darkling. Your past will do it for me' YES HIMBO GO OFF YOU TELL THAT OLD MAN GODS THAT WAS SEXY AS FUCK
maybe it's because I know Darkles will survive and will come out of it more powerful but I can't get myself to feel bad for him at the moment
Inej and Mal tearing up at Alina's condition made me almost feel something despite it being super obvious she was gonna be fine and save their asses at the last moment
HER POWER
a solitary Kaz in spotted on the western side of the newly expanded fold in his signature all black emo boy look
okay but the crows with zoya and malina is such an adorable team? I literally love them so much?
INEJ'S FUCKING SMILE AT ALINA GIVING HER THE DAGGER AND KAZ LOOKING AT HER AGSGSGSHSJSJSK MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE
SHE KNOWS JUST WHAT TO NAME IT WELL GIRLIE I KNOW IT TOO AND MY FUCKING HEART IS LITERALLY GONNA BURST
okay I know they had one interaction but Mal and Jesper would be besties in another universe
Kaz glaring at Jesper when he answers ''course not' to Alina's 'will you still be trying to kidnap me?' tell me one fucking adaptation that got the dynamics between characters this perfectly
okay why do I love that Alina kept the jewellery as maybe a small nod to she has the wits to, um, you know, I don't wanna say steal, but, um, yeah, steal it because she knew she would need money to survive on the run
oh Jessie I love you so much I wish you hadn't said those things on you ig story about the brownface
it's like every single celeb I grow attached to god's like nope that one is going to do or say something problematic (hey btw im not reassigning blame to god for stuff people have done out of their own free will, 'twas a joke)
AAAAAAAH them saying 'the deal is the deal' in the show even though they didn't have to but like they did and I love them for it
Inej literally not being able to not stare at Kaz's face and smile after this <3
'I didn't expect it to burn at all. But it can be destroyed in the end. Just like him' babe you're not wrong but like um just you wait
god Mal being on supportive boyfie mode is well, absolutely adorable, obviously, but I wish we got to see more of him as a person outside of his attachment to Alina
kaz my little demjin I wish you hadn't have had to suffer so much to meet the crows and find your calling
fastforwarding Zoya's arc is also an interesting choice to me
I wish the hug hadn't been done though, it didn't feel earned
maybe Alina awkwardly and half-heartedly (remember, at this point the alliance is fresh and they still don't entirely trust each other) reached for a hug and Zoya avoided her? and then the rest of Zoya's lines followed? that would have made more sense to me at least
I love Sujaya as well, she brought life into Zoya with whatever little screentime and scraps of writing she got
inej asking kaz 'what's your angle?' beep bop bleep morp I sense another incoming embarrassing love confession
'but we do need you' *stares at her face intensely* 'I need you' ah look at the clock, look's like it's time to screech and flap your arms like you're a volcra because you're incapable of containing your emotions
NO YOU CAN'T GO DIRECTLY FROM KANEJ PROGRESS TO HELNIK BREAKUP (TEMPORARY, MIND YOU)
helnik my loves you don't deserve this I'm so sorry for both of you
Matthias fucking smiling ruefully while he says 'this was... just a cruel joke all along' THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY
omg hellgate
AAAAAAAAH NINA IS ON THE SAME FRAME AS THE OG CROWS I CAN'T HANDLE THIS
CAMERA PAN FROM KAZ SAYING 'JUST HOW THIS ALL STARTED... WE'RE GONNA NEED A HEARTRENDED' TO NINA OVERHEARING HIM AND LOOKING OVER?????!!!!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME?!
Nina genuinely being curious as to the status of the sun saint because she obviously still cares
Also, 'But she is a Saint' okay Kaz trying to earn brownie points you have succeeded
DID THAT SAILOR JUST SAY 'GOED MORGEN FENTOMEN' TO MALINA BECAUSE I AM NOT OKAY WITH THEM JUST THROWING THAT IN MY FACE ALL OF A SUDDEN
gods I know I'll probably see them again but my heart is full of sorrow as my eyes drink in the sight of my crows for the last time for a while
I know people were annoyed at the meadow flashbacks but guess what? as a darklina, I loved them
'now that the Darkling is dead' could have phrased that a little differently my dudes that line needed to hold more weight
am I glad that they showed Darkles in this state with his nichevo'ya as a tasty little cliffhanger despite not being entirely true to the source material? maybe but only because Ben Barnes saying 'follow' and the nichevo'ya doing exactly so sent a chill down my spine
well, that's it for now, I'll have to move on I guess, get back to my real life which I'm obviously not ready to do
thank you to whoever actually read these things
I probably should have just made reactions or commentary videos instead but I'm lazy
my tumblr will probably go into inactivity once more as I emerge from my stint in the grishaverse
it was quite short (less than 2 months), considering the length of my other obsessions but it was definitely more intense than the other ones
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you know what, I never do these things, but actually I’ve decided I would like to get to know people better! I would like to partake of the mortifying ordeal! I would like to talk about myself for a bit!
ok for the next...let’s say five days I will answer any of these things that people tag me in, or any random personal questions you plop in my ask box. I don’t have an ask meme on hand but just....pick one you’ve seen recently, or make up questions of your own, and I’ll answer. (the answer might be ‘nope that’s private’ but I will answer.) (@ the anon who asked for book recs - I see you, I’ve been thinking of books all day, I’m going to give you SUCH a long answer, I hope you don’t regret your choices bc it WILL be full of gushing)
alright, let’s go!
🌻 Tag 9 people you want to get to know better
Tagged by @booksandchainmail​
Last Song: I’m currently listening to “Falcon in the Dive” from the Scarlet Pimpernel musical on loop. I watched one or two Scarlet Pimpernel movies when I was just barely too young to fully get what was going on, and the story’s held an odd but deep-seated place in my heart ever since. A few years ago I found out there’s a musical and most of the songs are pretty stellar (go listen to “Madame Guillotine” if you like big ensemble broadway numbers, it’s a banger, the bit where he cries out for God has been running through my mind on and off for a few days now haha not like that’s topical or anything), so every once in a while I spend a few days listening to them a lot.
Sometime last year I read the actual book, and got super into the whole concept of the Scarlet Pimpernel for a while. I plotted out Pimpernel aus for several fandoms, I read the entire wikipedia article, and I went looking for bootlegs of the musical. I didn’t find one, but I did find a full radioplay-style recording of the script, complete with full musical numbers, and listened to it like a podcast.
Reader, I was so disappointed. The play adds some scenes, bc a lot of the dramatic tension of the novel comes from internal conflict and that doesn’t stage super well, and the very first scene of this play – a play written in the NINETIES – features our dashing hero rescuing some aristocrats from a French prison, and then saying to the person in the next cell, who begs for rescue but is not an aristocrat, “We have enough of your kind in England.”
Enough! of your KIND! What in the merry frickety HECK my dudes!! The book has some rather unfortunate™ takes but it is from 1905, it’s regrettable but sadly to be expected. This play is from 1997. It has NO excuse. This scene wasn’t even in the book! What! the heck!
I was so disheartened that I lost my excitement for the play, and a couple songs later I stopped listening. It occurred to me just a few days ago that you could actually stage that ironically, with the person in the cell giving the audience a “can you believe this” look, and then the rest of the play could feature assorted non-aristocratic ensemble members constantly looking at the audience like they’re on The Office. And hey, maybe that’s what they did, or something similar – maybe that was never meant to be taken as a cleanly heroic stance, and the play deals with it in a complex way. It’s possible. I wouldn’t know. Kinda doubt it though, based on song lyrics.
Favorite Color: red, probably
Last Movie: I watched that new lesbian christmas movie with my family for christmas, the one with kirsten stewart and the guy from schitt’s creek. it’s very sweet and good and kinda sad, and I really enjoyed it. it also incidentally has the best gay best friend trope in probably anything ever, bc it’s not a trope (I didn’t realize until several hours after watching that it technically fits), it’s just a guy who is the protagonist’s best friend, and they’re just all gay, and then when he Gives Relationship Advice as a gay best friend always does, it’s advice about how to deal with your partner’s hangups around coming out.
actually every part of the gay best friend trope becomes better when they’re just best friends who are both gay. the big dramatic gestures (in this case, driving some ungodly distance in the snow on no notice) go from “haha how kooky” to “queer man will do anything he needs to to rescue his queer friend from an isolating & potentially triggering situation”. the relationship advice isn’t “honey you deserve some self-respect, treat yourself”, it’s a deeply sincere reminder of the vulnerability that is shared across almost everyone’s queer experience, and look I could ramble about this for a long time before reaching a coherent point but I’m INTO IT, okay? I’m into it.
Last Show: you want me to remember what show I last finished???? impossible, cannot be done, it was a long time ago and the adhd has eaten everything that happened before last week. here, instead I’ll tell you about another movie I watched, late at night with my mom in cozy companionship just a couple days ago. it’s called Quigley Down Under and it’s about a cowboy who goes to Australia and kills a bunch of racists, 10/10 would watch again. it’s from 1990 but it feels much older, with the music choices and the cinematography of a 70s Western. the cowboy is great, honorable and fearless and kind, but the breakaway star of this movie for me is the woman who attaches herself to his side and refuses to leave. her name is Cora, and she’s crazy, in the sense that she’s not altogether tethered to reality, but this never for a second diminishes her agency. she’s fierce and clever and compassionate, and she basically never does anything she doesn’t want to in the whole movie. her arc is about overcoming trauma by taking charge of her own fear and facing it head-on, she is never belittled or dismissed by the narrative or the protagonist, and look she’s just so cool. I love her. she’s so vibrantly alive. her story could probably have been handled with a bit more nuance, but honestly for the 90s it’s pretty great. I’m no expert, but I found nothing objectionable in it, just a bit of heavy-handedness.
anyway the theme of the movie is that racism is evil and racists deserve to be shot, and this too could have been handled better (not a single aboriginal character speaks a single line of english in this movie), but it follows through on that message in every way, while still being a fun kinda campy cowboy movie. overall a very good time.
Currently Watching: started showing my sister Hilda the other day, and she’s liking it! I love that show, it’s so incredibly cute. can’t wait to see season 2
Currently Reading: lmao I wish. lately the brain has firmly rejected all attempts to read anything of any length. currently pending, bc I was halfway through them when my brain stalled out, are tano’s fic What Does Kill You Can Make You Stronger, Too, a Toby Daye book - I think it was The Brightest Fell, I got like half a chapter in and haven’t picked it up in over a month, the Locked Tomb series, and probably a few other things too. ooh! also a book called Making Sex by thomas laqueur, which is my fancy academic reading that I’ve been doing in short bursts for the past year or two when I feel fancy and academic. it’s about the development of the concept of biological sex and of gender in Western society, and it’s fascinating. has among other things introduced me to the idea that until quite recently, fathers were a matter of faith. the mother? yeah, you can watch the baby pop out, we all know who the mother is. but the father? how can you know? how can you really know? we have paternity tests these days, but for all of human history up until now, we've just had to take fatherhood on faith. (not to mention we didn’t even know what fathers were contributing to the production of a fetus. clearly it was something, since you can’t get pregnant without a penis getting involved, but we have literally not known what until the past few decades. and that is wild. it has colored ALL of human history, all of our conceptions of society and family and kinship and gender, all of it, and it hadn’t even occurred to me until it was spelled out for me in this book, and it’s just......wow.
Salty, sweet or savory: for christmas my sister and I made seven different types of cookie, most of them involving chocolate somehow.
Craving: no bc I ate so many cookies. unless sleep counts. or maybe pringles, it’s been many moons since last I had a potato chip and I miss them.
Coffee or Tea: no thank you
Tagging: @coloursisee, @krchy-tuna, @sam-j-squirrel, @xzienne, @mirandatam, @viciousmaukeries, @sepulchritude, @elidyce, and @navigatorsnorth bc it’s been a while since we’ve talked, and I’m super hyped that you’re married now. v happy for you!
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