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hereforhalstead · 3 years

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“I’m all yours” Part 2

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

• Requested: Yes.

• Warnings: angst/Swearing/adult themes/unloving relationship/mentions of mental abuse

• Summary: Part 2 to “I’m all yours” as requested! You can find Part 1 here.

• Words: 6138

• A/N : Thanks so much for all the great feedback on it and for your continued support - hope you enjoy and that it lives up to part 1! Got the inspo from watching ‘Workin Moms’ on Netflix, highly recommend.. also as before, I do not condone cheating or the treatment of any relationship like this. My inbox is always open if you want to talk and I know it's very hard but remember you're worthy and you deserve the best. Please do not hesitate to let me know if anything in this is too close to the mark as that’s the last thing I want (i might be reading too deep into this but want to be sure I’ve made myself clear

***

“Jay. I need you in here with me” Voight swings the door open, forcing Jay to release you from his tight grasp and turn his back to you as if he didn’t have you pinned to the wall whispering into your ear a few seconds ago.

“Am I interuppting something here?” his gruff voice questions to which you shake your head “Right well come on Halstead, you’re with me” Voight exits the room, allowing you to finally release the smirk you’d been witholding. Jay turns back to you, running a hand along his jawline as he chuckles but you can still see the hunger behind his eyes as he winks “To be continued”.

You take a moment to yourself, running your hand through your hair before allowing yourself to lean your back against the wall to take the weight off. It all seemed to happen so fast that you could barely recollect the situaion but all you knew was you hadn’t felt this way in a very long time. That passion building, waiting for the other to lean in first, the way your skin burns when he touches you and the rate your heart is beating even after he’s no longer here was enough to solidify how bad you wanted him and even better, he wanted you more.

You watch through the one sided glass as Jay and Voight enter the room, Jay now looking as stern as ever, a complete 180 from the man who was just stood before you. He bores his eyes down onto the suspect and you feel your stomach flip at the mere sight of the way he leans his hands down on the desk and towers over the man, finding yourself instinctively chewing at your bottom lip and consumed by thoughts you shouldn't be having at your place of work about your partner.

You continue to watch, time flying by as you sit back and watch Jay do what he does best but despite how well he can calm Voight down it wasn’t working. Voight was loosing it which was spurring the suspect on to act more of an idiot by the minute, clearly getting some form of pleasure of out of he was getting under Voight’s skin.

“Sarge, can we step outside a moment?” Jay interupts Voight who currently had the suspect by the collar of his shirt, his eyes dart to Jay and then back to the man who was laughing in his face. You actually felt for the guy, not knowing what he was letting himself in for but also not being jealous of the pair of them currently trying to interrogate him but clearly failing. Voight shoves the suspect back into the chair and storms out of the room to be shortly followed by Jay, you watch as the man seems to stare directly at you and even though you know he can’t see you, you still feel the chills run down your spine at the emptiness behind his eyes and the slight smile he has on his lips.

You hear Voight and Jay exchanging heated words just outside the door and you flinch when the door to the room you were in swings open “Y/N, you’re up” Voight orders and you instantly feel sick that you would have to face the suspect who clearly had no means of confessing. Normally you’d stand up for yourself but the way Voight held his fists at his sides and the vein throbbing in his neck it was hardly the situation to argue so you did as you were told. Voight takes your place observing and you exit the room to be met by Jay leaning back against the wall, passing you the file as you approach him “you got this?” he asks with a slightly raised brow, you nod and try to ignore the hand he places on your lower back to usher you into the room with a hushed chuckle “you’re the only one I can rely on these days”.

You didn’t have the most experience when it came to interviews so whenever you were in this room you felt on edge, let alone when you know Voight is burning his eyes into your back and watching like a hawk, but something about Jay being by your side made it that tiniest bit easier. You begin to probe the suspect who was now slouching back in his chair, clearly also at ease by the lack of Voight’s presence and you sat across from him instead. You felt ill at the way he was looking at you and the way Jay’s muscles were tightening as he glared at the suspect didn’t go unnoticed either. “Aren’t you a pretty little thing” he comments with a grossly inapropriate smile and you scoff “Don’t look at her, look at me” Jay extends his arm across the desk to get his attention but it doesn’t work so he’s on his feet and leaning over the suspect in seconds “Lose the grin, or I will lose it for you”.

You cough to break the tension, already predicting Voight would crash through the door at any moment to stop the interview but luckily there was no sign. You continued your questioning and it was clear neither of you could get through to him “I can’t be asked to sit here and let you waste my time” you sigh, standing from your seat and grabbing the file to exit “leaving so soon, pretty girl? that’s a shame” he comments and you shake your head with a pity laugh. “Where you’re going, you’ll be the pretty girl” you comment, smile spread as his face drops and you see Jay cover a smirk with his hand “she’s not wrong” he shrugs his shoulders, also standing from his seat to join you in leaving the room “enjoy your time in there buddy” he pats him on the shoulder as he passes “you’re gonna need it”.

You walk down the corridor with Jay, still laughing between yourselves but a sudden silence when Voight appears before you “What the hell was that?” he barks as you stand wide eyed but luckily Jay speaks for you “he’ll confess Sarge, we just need to let him sit” he reassures but Voight wasn’t satisfied “we don’t have time to let him sit Jay, you’re all gonna swan off to this party tonight so we need to get him by then” he demands “What like you’ve always got them to confess the first time?” he comments under his breath and Voight see’s red.

“I think you need to remember who you’re talking to Detective” he presses his finger into Jay’s chest and you step in “Sarge, you just gotta trust us. We know what we’re doing” you can see he is slightly taken back by the way you defend Jay but he isn’t shocked “just get it done” he groans before storming back into his office to leave you and Jay alone again. "thanks” Jay mumbles, frustration laced through his whisper, you lay your hand on his back and you notice him slightly relax under your touch as you offer him a reassuring smile and a shrug of your shoulder “always”.

***

Tonight was some big police annual gala and usually you were buzzing for it but tonight just wasn’t the night for it. You and Jay had spent hours trying to break down the walls of the suspect only for it to get you no where, you felt defeated and tensions were running high. It fell to Voight and Olinsky to eventually crack him but after some of their ‘persuasion’ of course.. This left you feeling not as guilty for not getting to him as they clearly used different methods to you and Jay so were incomparable in terms of techniques.

Even when you had a spare minute to yourself you find yourself replaying what happened with Jay in the observation room, the way he had you pinned and the hunger you could see and feel in the way he grabbed you set something off inside you. You’d barely been alone with him since then due to the busyness of the case but the occasional glances and minor touches as you passed his desk was making the tension unbareable but you still couldn’t ignore the pit in the bottom of your stomach. You still had somewhat of a boyfriend, even if he was a piece of shit who didn’t make you feel wanted, he was still your boyfriend and to your annoyance it wasn’t sitting right with you.

Jay was everything you needed and you knew he could give you everything you wanted and so much so that it scared you. He was perfect in your eyes and you felt as though you didn’t deserve him, you’d never be able to tell him this as you knew he wouldn’t stand for it but you couldn’t help the way you felt. You were so defeated that you felt as though you deserved a trashy relationship and weren’t good enough to be with someone like Jay. This made you feel worse as no matter how much you desired him you still couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt.

You tried to rack your brain to think of the last time your boyfriend Mike had made you feel half as good as Jay does but you couldn’t even think of anything close. You were trying so hard to give him an inch of self worth but there was nothing, he hadn’t made you feel wanted or even like he loved you yet you still felt bad for showing interest in Jay. You’d have to put your feelings for your partner to one side and no matter how impossible it seemed you’d try to convince yourself he wasn’t for you.

You’d managed to escape the district without anyone seeing you and by anyone you meant Jay. Unlocking your car and dumping your bag into the back, you jump when you see Jay standing there as you slam the truck down in frustration “You trying to kill me?” you hit his shoulder as you pass but he doesn’t move, instead his eyes scan as you slightly graze him to try and get to the passenger side “You’re just gonna leave without saying anything?” you could feel your heart pull at the hurt behind his words, the concern sweeping across his brows and the way he held his hands together like he did when he was nervous. “I need to get ready for tonight” you fake smile but he wasn’t buying it.

“So you’re going back to him?” he kicks a stone on the ground and you follow his gaze as he looks back up at you “I don’t have a choice Jay” you plead, causing him to cup your cheeks in his hands to force you to look at him “Of course you have a choice Y/N. You always have a choice” he reassures but you stand in silence, unsure how to respond “If you’re scared of him, I’ll come back with you or hell I’ll go and collect your stuff for you and you can stay with me for a bit” he runs his thumb gently across your cheek and for that split second you can’t hold back your desires as you find yourself leaning into him.

You manage to catch yourself and put your hands against his chest to stop “It was a mistake Jay, I’m sorry for leading you on but it’s not gonna happen”.

You pull yourself away from him and open the passenger door to get inside before he has a chance to pull you back “ That’s bullshit and you know it Y/N” he leans against your door, speaking through your car window but you keep your eyes focused on turning the key to start the engine before mumbling “I’m sorry” and driving away.

You look into your mirror, watching as Jay stands there defeated with his hands hung low and his head dipped “You’re a fucking idiot Y/N” you curse yourself before taking another look in the mirror to see Jay was gone.

***

You flicked through the dresses in your wardrobe, really not being in the mood for the party was in a strange was urging you to put more effort in to hope it would lift your spirits. You’d poured yourself a few glasses of your favourite mixer and had some music playing in the background to assist in your motivation. Of course you were home alone, what else is new..

You were used to coming home to an empty apartment, after moving in with Mike after just a few dates there was always such excitement to return from work to see him lounging on the sofa and ready to engulf you in his arms but that didn’t last long. He would be out until late, without even so much of a text message which would leave you sitting around waiting before eventually giving up in the small hours of the morning to retire to bed alone. You found it funny at this point, the classic ‘gotta laugh or you’ll cry’ really was how you dealt with it and you thought that was for the best.

You’d stumbled upon a little satin black dress that you’d bought for your birthday last year but due to staying late at work you never got the chance to wear it so it would be perfect for tonight. After a little touch of make up and keeping your hair simple you stopped to examine yourself in the mirror and for the first time in a while you were surprsingly pleased at who was looking back at you. You’d hardly bothered with your appearance anymore, going out to a party was a rareity so it always did seem to take you back a bit when you looked like this and you were feeling good.

After taking another sip of your drink your mind started to wander, Jay creeping up behind you and snaking his arms round your waist as you admire yourself. His lips pressing into your neck as he whispers into your ear of how good you look and how lucky he is to have you sent the chills down your spine. You’d wrap your hands around Jay’s forearms as he trails his lips along your shoulder, lifting your hair to the other side to allow him access to your exposed skin as he nips lightly at the corner to make you giggle.

You were so lost in your thoughts that when the door slammed you almost dropped your drink in fright, you quickly downed the remainder before heading out of the bedroom and into the main open place space. Running your hands over your dress to smooth out any creases you look up to see Mike ripping the tie from around his neck and shoving it onto the counter. You stand in the doorway, waiting to see if he notices you and gives you the attention you now so desperately crave, even if it wasn’t from him.

Instead, he heads for the kitchen and pours himself a drink, takes the glass and slumps on the sofa without so much as a second look at you. You clear your throat to get him to look up but still nothing. With your hands on your hips you strut over to stand in front of the TV so he had no choice but to see you blocking his view. He takes a sip from the glass and shrugs, still trying to look round you to see the pointless comedy show that was playing on the screen “going somewhere?” he questions, eyes still averted from you. You lean into your hip and raise your brows down at him “It’s the gala? You’re meant to be my plus one?”. He takes another sip with a shake of his head “Don’t know what you’re talking about”.

This is the first time you’ve spoken in hours and he already has that look of grimace on his face, looking straight through you as if you’re not even there. Luckily, the liquid courage had made it easier to deal with as you let his words bounce off you, the thoughts of Jay quickly making their way back into your mind. How his jaw would drop if he walked through the door and you greeted him like this, infact even if you were in joggers and a sweater he would still tell you how gorgeous you looked. He’d wrap you in his arms, running his fingertips up and down your sides as he admired his girl standing in front of him with the confidence that no matter how many guys drooled over her she would still go back to him. You wanted to be that girl.

“Just change your shirt, we’re leaving in 5 minutes” you demand, heading into the kitchen yourself to grab yourself another drink as you had a feeling you’d be needing it. You hear him grumble something as he clambers from the sofa and drags himself into the bedroom, a part of you shocked he actually did as he was asked but the other part regretting reminding him as the thought of spending the night alone with Jay was sounding all the more tempting.

A few moments go by and you’re sitting at the table waiting for him, legs swinging with your head resting on your hand as your mind is clouded with the thoughts of the all too familiar detective. Was he going to be wearing a suit? Would he need help choosing a shirt and tie combo? You’d sit on the bed as he’d groan into the mirror when he couldn’t work out which one looked better. Turning to you to ask for your opinion as you tie the best looking one round his neck, feeling his breath on your lips as he glares intently down at you. His hands finding their way to your hips as you button the top few buttons of his shirt up before hooking his collar back over the tie. Feeling him watching you’re every move as his grasp on you tightens, sitting back down onto the bed to pull you onto his lap. You swing your legs over each of his as he leans back and pulls you on top of him, his arms keeping you on him as you try to escape as you tease about how you were going to be late-

“How’s this?” a voice interrupts your thoughts, looking up to see Mike in a fresh white shirt tucked into black jeans “No tie?” you ask, slightly dissapointed but he scoffs “It’s not that fancy, don’t know why you’re so dressed up” he comments, feeling the all too normal pit in your stomach as you brush it off “lets go then so we can get this over with”.

From the moment you arrived you felt on edge, you hadn’t seen Jay yet and you couldn’t ignore the way your heart dropped at the thought of him not being there. Deep down he was the only reason you’d dressed up, the motivation for you to be there and the only thing you could look forward to was seeing him but still no sign. You were stood at the bar, watching as Mike eyed up every girl that passed like they were piece of meat and it made you feel sick.

You stood chatting with Kim who was soon joined by Adam, draping his arm round her waist as they stood opposite you to make conversation. You could feel Mike wasn’t paying attention and had even taken a seat at one of the bar stools so he wasn’t even part of the conversation. You couldn’t help the thoguhts drift back into your mind, how you knew if you were with Jay he would proudly have his arm round you when you were at an event or even have his hand protecvitely resting on your lower back to let you know he was still there as a form comfort. He’d whisper in how he can’t wait to get you alone, making you giggle as his breath hits your ear to make the hairs on your neck stand on edge. He’d love to tell people how you met at work but always knew there was something more, others would comment on how smitten he was with you and how he looked at you with those doting eyes like you were his whole world and he wanted everyone to know.

Kim hits your arm in laughter to bring you out of your thoughts but Adam was looking like he could murder. Glaring at Mike like he wanted to lay into him, scoffing at the disrespect and the poor way he was treating his friend. You slightly dreaded how Jay would react and honestly hoped they wouldn’t see each other but it was too late.

You were chatting away, in efforts to try and distract Adam from the way Mike was behaving when you saw him appear through the crowd from over Adam’s shoulder. It was like a cliche movie, you zoned into him like he was the only one in the room, Kim’s words fading into the background as you could almost hear the laughter falling from his lips as he engages in conversation. You suddenly felt safe, like you knew nothing would happen to you as long as he was there and you just wanted to be tucked under his arm for the rest of the night but you had to play it cool.

Watching as he heads towards you, drink in one hand with the other stuffed in his pants pocket. The crisp black shirt that was paired with a black tie finished it off, that man could look good in anything but seeing him in all black flicked a switch inside you and gave you that all too familiar feeling of the craving you had for him. His eyes widened when he saw you standing there, roaming your body and admiring every inch before Adam nudged him to get his attention “Bro, you didn’t look at me like that” he acted hurt, his hands on his heart as he pleaded “I just want Halstead to look at me like he looks at Y/N. Is that too much to ask?” he pretends to wipe a tear as you roll your eyes “Look like that in a dress and I’ll think about it” Jay comments, still with his gaze on you as you feel the heat rise to your cheeks “You look alright too I guess” you tease but this is when Mike decides he finally wants to join in.

“You must be Jack” he extends his hand out to Jay who looks at him with a laughter in disgust “It’s Jay” he grimaces a smile and you try to hide yours by taking another sip of your drink. Mike drops his hand as Jay doesn’t meet his gesture as Kim breaks the silence “Who wants another drink?” she asks and you raise your empty glass “You’ve had enough, don’t want you making a fool of yourself” Mike mocks, expecting others to laugh at his comment but no one does.

You notice Jay’s fists clench at his sides and if Adam didn’t look happy before, he certaintly doesn’t now. Kim places a hand to his arm to calm him down and you only wish you could do the same to Jay but instead you watch as he eyes Mike, only imagining the thoughts that were going through his head as his nostrils flare. “I’m gonna head to the bathroom” Mike announces before excusing himself, leaving you stood in silence as Kim hands you another drink with that familiar sympathetic smile “I’m gonna kill him” Adam scoffs and Jay hums in agreement “You’re telling me”.

It had been a while since Mike left your side, you’d barely noticed until Kim commented on how long he had been. You took a quick scan of the room but couldn’t see him anywhere and it’s like the feeling in your gut was trying to tell you something as you find yourself heading towards the bathroom before you can think. You march your way through the people, ignoring the calls from behind you and too focused on what you knew you were about to see. You slam the stall doors open one by one but he wasn’t there, a sigh of relief as you didn’t want to catch him out at one of your work parties was soon ruined as you hear a moan coming from down the hall. You storm towards the noises, blocking them out as you get closer and turn the corner to see Mike holding an unfamiliar girl up against the wall with her dress hiked up around her waist.

You can’t move. As much as you want to scream and run, it’s like your feet are glued to the floor and you can’t move an inch. Instead you stand and watch them all over each other, him with a dare you say smile on his face as their lips intertwine. A sudden noise from behind you forces him to look in your direction, doing the quickest double take when he see’s you standing there but he still didn’t stop. Instead he dug his head further into her shoulder with every thrust, stopping to look up at you with an evil glint in his eye as he clearly enjoyed the fact you’d caught him and wanted you to watch.

You finally come to your senses and headed back to the bar, no urgency in your walk, anger in your head or even tears in your eyes as you kept your head high and acted as if nothing has happened. As you approach you see the heads turn to you with concern “Where the hell were you?” Kim questions with a hushed tone “Did you find him?”. You shake your head “Want me and Jay to go and look for him?” Adam suggests and you chuckle “If I want to find a body in the river tomorrow, I’ll give you a shout”.

You down your drink in one as Adam and Kim resume their conversation, Jay brings himself over to you and rests his hand on your lower back as he leans into you “You wanna get some fresh air?” he asks and you nod “like you wouldn’t believe”. He keeps his hand pressed into your back as he guides you out of the room and towards the exit into the majestic grounds of the hall. You can’t help but constantly look through the faces to try and spot Mike but there was no sign, probably still with that girl in the bathrooms or even better he’s taken her home to the apartment you shared and was fucking her into your bedspread.

As soon as the fresh air hits you it feels like a sigh of relief, it was just you and Jay with no one else around, a complete contrast from the noisy crowded party and you wouldn’t want it any other way. There was a side to you that wanted to blurt it all out, knowing Jay would storm in there and lay into Mike was something you really wanted to see. The anger rising in his body as he clenches his fists, the vein in his neck popping as you confess or the desperation in his eyes as he asks you to tell him where he is, but there was the other side that wanted to keep it bottled up.

You knew the second option was wrong as it would just be another plan of self destruction and there was no way you could go back to that apartment tonight. There was only one person you knew you wanted to leave with and that same person was now the only one standing before you.

‘Fuck it’ you thought to yourself and there it was, the moment you built up the courage to push your lips onto his. His arms clung at your waist from the sudden contact, pulling you into him but soon retracting when he realised what was happening “What’s going on? You sa-” he began but you leant in to try and cut him off but he wasn’t having it. His hand was still pressed into your back so you were inches apart, his eyes flicking between your lips and back up to your eyes but he was trying to control himself and make sure it was what you wanted. Normally this would make your legs weak at how sweet and considerate you knew he was but you needed him, you longed for him, you craved him and now you had the fear he didn’t want you.

“You said you didn’t want this?” he questions with a huff “I was lying” you smile “I want you. You know I want you Jay” you yet again lean into him but he puts his hands on your waist firmly to keep you apart “Has something happened?”. Without words he already knows, the way your breath hitches and you harshly swallow was enough to set off the rage in him “Did he do something to you?” you can see his temper rising while trying to stay calm for you “Did he hurt you Y/N?”.

The panic sets in as you see his anger grow “I swear to god Y/N, if he laid a single finger on you”. You instinctively put your hand to his cheek to ground him “Jay he hasn’t touched me” you reassure, wording it carefully to not say ‘he hasn’t hurt me’ as after what you’ve just seen that would take a certain person to not be hurt. He relaxes ever so slightly under your touch and confession but he was still rigid, the frustration running through his body as he tries to scan your face for answers but you’re giving him nothing.

“Can we just forget him?” you try to push past it, moving your hand down his chest and fiddling with one of the buttons “Or do you not want me?” the crack in your voice kills him, there shouldnt be a shadow of doubt in your mind about how bad he wants you, he’s needed you for so long that he should be taking you to be his right now but there was something stopping him.

“Of course I want you Y/N, are you kidding?” he grips at your waist to further cement his words “I want you so fucking bad that you’re all I can think about” he groans as you pull him closer to you by his shirt collar and just as your lips are about to meet you hear that all too familiar voice call out for you from inside the party. Your head snaps round so fast you’re surpsied you didn’t pull a muscle and the grip on Jay’s collar tells him you dont want to see Mike.

He switches the position so he was closest to the door, his body shielding you as you cower behind him as he was the only one he could trust to protect you and be the one between you and Mike.

Mike spots you through the door, clutching onto Jays shirt like your life depended on it but not in a way through fear. You weren’t scared of him as you knew nothing would happen to you as long as Jay was there but it was through a nervousness as you just wanted to forget the situation ever happened and just cut ties but he clearly wasn’t feeling the same way. He points his finger to you as he storms through the open doors, cursing yourself for having left them open as he may not have though to look out if they were closed.

“Turn around and head back inside” Jay warns, keeping one hand behind his back and ensuring you stayed there “Get away from my girlfriend buddy” Mike scoffs which amuses Jay as he smirks “Sorry that’s my fault for not being clear. Turn around. Head home and stay the fuck away from her”.

You step around Jay but he still keeps an arm on you which you’re more that grateful for “Was she good?” you ask, confidence rising knowing he could no longer bilittle you how he pleased “What?” he questions and you roll your eyes “How was she? Tight enough for you?” you notice Jay straighten up beside you, clearly realizing what’s happened and increasing his anger and determination to end the man standing in front of him.

You place a hand to Jay’s upper arm and squeeze lightly in reassurance. “Go home, I’ll send for my stuff” you scorn but Mike doesn’t move “I don’t know if you heard her but she said go home” Jay takes a step towards him and as much as you trust Jay and know how he acts, this is the first time you’ve questioned if he will be able to stop himself. “You really don’t want me to tell you again” Jay threatens, Mike matches Jay’s step and closes the gap between them when you interject and stand between the pair with a hand on each of their chests.

Looking up to see the fear in Mike’s eyes but the anger and darkness behind Jay’s “Go. Home” you instruct to Mike who pauses for a second to look down at you and then back up to Jay “You’re lucky she’s here otherwise you wouldn’t live to see another day” Jay smirks, putting an emphasis on every word he spits out at Mike.

The three of you stand in silence, watching as Mike and Jay stare at each other was laughable. Mike didn’t stand a single chance again Jay on a normal day let alone now, he was full of rage and needed an outlet so you feel a sigh of relief when Mike takes a step back and turns to head back inside “If I hear you’ve even breathed near her. I promise it will be the last breath you ever take” Jay calls out to him, his lips puling in an evil smile to which you hit him on the chest. His expression soon changes when he looks down at you and you feel your heart skip a beat, the vengeance in his eyes that told you the inner battle to control himself was getting impossible to ignore.

“I’m sorry” he blurts out, the least of what you were expecting him to say, the softness as he reaches to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear and continuing to trace your jawline with his fingertips. You loop your arms around his neck, leaving one to pull him closer to you as his arms find their way back to your hips with an urgency “I don’t want your sorry” you comment, his thumb runs along your bottom lip as he lightly tugs on the corner at the roughness of his skin “I want you”.

He didn’t need telling twice, his grip on your waist pulled you onto him. Your legs wrapping round his waist as he steaded you against the wall, rocking his hips into yours as his lips made their way along your collarbone to lightly nip at the skin causing you to yelp “I’m going to show you how you deserve to be treated” he moaned into the crook of your neck with another light blow to the now damp skin from his lips “and we both know, it will be only me that can show you that”.

Tag list

@halsteadlover • @musicismyescape27 • @i-like-sparkly-things • @stephanie708 • @upsteadlovingheart

Inbox and requests open🥰

#jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #one chicago #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #jay halstead drabble #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead smut #one chicago x reader #jay halstead x you

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cactusspatz · 3 years

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October recs

I apparently had two reading settings in October: gen family fic and (mostly polyamorous) porn. Triads were in the air? So today I have 7 Batman/Batfamily fics, 1 Batman/Leverage crossover, 1 for The Untamed, and then three miscellaneous polyamory fics for Singin' in the Rain, comics Spider-Man/Fantastic Four, and Love & Friendship (in addition to the one DCU poly fic). Mostly gen except for the ones that are VERY not, I've marked pairings where needed.

DCU (in order from shortest to longest)

Clockwork by @heartslogos

“Do you even hear yourself when you talk?” Tim wrinkles his nose. “Also stop trying to hide the coffee. I’ll always find it. You just put it out of reach or opposite the peanut butter. I am on to you.”

Charming and detail-driven fic about Bruce and Tim, that really drives home how well and closely they know each other. (Also that they’re a couple of weirdos.)

sweet child o' mine by Nokomis/ @nokomiss

Steph said cheerfully, “Bruce, from now on, consider yourself in possession of one Steph-mom.”

“Absolutely not,” Bruce said.

Steph took a bite of her cake, undeterred.

I was howling with laughter reading this. Nokomis always writes Steph and pranking and comedy so well, and this one lands perfectly. Mom notes! Playdates! Snacks! So adorable and funny.

World’s Saddest Breakfast Club by @motleyfam

Following a couple of Very Bad Weeks™ (which may or may not have involved being kidnapped and mildly tortured), Jason decides the best way to cheer himself up is to break into the Manor for a 3 a.m. snack.

Turns out he isn’t the only one awake.

Chaotic and sweet, highly recommended to anyone who has feelings about food and family.

The Rule of Three by Zoeleo (Jason/Tim/Stephanie)

“Yeah. Um. Thanks, but I don’t wanna interrupt you guys or third-wheel you or anything so I’m just going to—” Jason tries to shrug on his jacket but one of the sleeves is turned inside out and his arm gets stuck.

“Well, technically you would be a third wheel. But like a structurally integral third wheel, one that’s an intentional part of the design. Like on a Polaris Slingshot or a—” Tim rambles until Stephanie smacks him again.

Jason loses the battle with the jacket. It drops to the floor with a heavy thump from too many gadgets hidden in secret pockets. Is Tim really proposing what he thinks he’s proposing?

Jason came for the pizza and MST3K, he may just stay for the face-sitting and multiple orgasms.

Pure threesome porn on the way to a relationship, plus great banter. Fittingly in a trilogy format.

The Last Someone by FabulaRasa/ @fabula-unica (Hal Jordan/Bruce Wayne)

I decided that what the fandom really needed was yet another object of Pussygate 2021 discourse, so here is my contribution, in which Bruce gets humiliated, Hal gets curious, and they both get what they're looking for.

In case you were (blessedly) living under a rock the last few weeks and don't know what any of this is about, here is your starter kit.

The first chapter of this is hysterical - Batman is ranked last on an internet article rating superheroes by how good they are at oral, and Green Lantern first, and then MORE shenanigans ensue - and then it takes a sharp swerve into feelings and some moderate angst. So ideal, really!

best laid plans by Valkirin

Tim Drake knows that Batman needs a Robin. When Bruce and Dick aren't interested in what he has to say, Tim makes his way to the cemetery to say a few words to the boy he's trying to replace.

Tim has the chance to say far more than he expected when Jason digs himself out of his grave that night. Tim does his best to get Jason home to Bruce. The League of Assassins finds them first.

Lovely hurt/comfort-y AU where Tim gets kidnapped along with Jason, and all the complications of that.

Recollect, re-collect by Ptelea

A spell gone wrong leads to Jason hashing some things out--with himself, with Dick, and with the rest of the Batfam. Featuring: rather a lot of thoughts and conversations about memory, change, damage, love and trust, accountability, family, hurt, lies, death, Spyral, pedestals, cases, memorials, stories, and Robin.

I am a sucker for amnesia fic, and this one is a terrifying variant where a spell makes people start to forget Jason. The resolution involves a truckload of feelings about Robin and Jason's place in his family, especially his relationship with Dick.

MISCELLANEOUS

The Gotham Job by Hinn_Raven/ @secretlystephaniebrown (Batman/Leverage, gen)

Generally, thieves of their caliber avoid Gotham. There are always exceptions that prove the rule, however.

(Or: five times that a member of Leverage met a member of the Batfamily, and one time that they teamed up.)

Fantastic read, with a creative set of character intersections and friendships between the two fandoms.

Knight Hunt! Phoenix Mountain by travelingneuritis (The Untamed, Wangxian)

"Contestants get paid by the week. The longer you stay in the running and the more you charm the fans, the bigger your paycheck after the season wraps. People compete on Knight Hunt for fame, fortune and love. In that order."

I know, getting Lan Wangji onto a reality show convincingly is a big buy, but this one manages it, AND has peak Wei Wuxian gremlin action, modern cultivation, and a lovely romance. The author tagged it ‘low stakes pining’ and it’s just that - an engaging and emotional but easy read.

The Lockwoods & Mr Brown by @onlythegeste (Singin' in the Rain, Kathy/Don/Cosmo)

The continuing adventures of Kathy, Don and Cosmo in their house on Sunset and Camden.

Involving a camera, several pianos, scheming, dancing, and a magic trick.

Adorable look at their queer household and growing family across the decades. Well-written and perfectly satisfying.

A House in the Hills by @traincat (Spider-Man comics, Peter/Mary Jane/Johnny Storm)

“Anyway, did you ever think I might want to sleep with him?”

Peter sat straight up in bed and turned on the bedside light. Mary Jane was still sitting up, her arms crossed defiantly over her chest, staring straight ahead at a spot on the wall, twin angry spots of color in her cheeks.

“You want to sleep with another man?” he demanded.

“Well, ideally you’d be there, too,” she said, scowling.

Johnny is getting married. Peter is having a problem. Mary Jane has the solution. (Or, the Watson-Parkers homewreck their way to Johnny's happiness.)

I'm normally not a fan of any form of infidelity, but I'll make an exception for this situation (read the a/n for a brief overview), absolutely. Funny, sexy, and actually terribly romantic.

A Divinely Attractive Arrangement by @fahye (Love & Friendship, Lady Susan/Sir James/Manwaring)

A selection from the Private Diary of Sir James Martin of Martindale. Concerning Peas, Friendship, the state of Blessed Matrimony, and several wonders of Modern Medicine.

I’d argue that you don't even need to have seen the movie to enjoy this fic about the absolute dumbest golden retriever of a himbo to ever marry a manipulative woman so she might have cover to carry on with her lover, except since it's Fahye so of course things go poly instead in the FUNNIEST way possible. Bless his heart, I'd say Sir James has a pea brain but he doesn't even understand how peas work.

#monthly recs #fic rec #batman #dcu #batfamily #hal/bruce #stephanie/tim/jason #leverage #crossover #wangxian #lan wangji/wei wuxian #singin' in the rain #don/kathy/cosmo #peter/mj/johnny #spiderman #fantastic four #marvel #love & friendship

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dayseternal-blog · 3 years

Note

Hi days! I know you're the best person to go to for some NH fic recommendations. Can you share with us really angsty NH fics? I've read White Lillies, that amount of angst is revitalizing I LOVE IT!!! big thanks!!!

HELLO

For how fluffy NaruHina is, there SURE ARE A LOT of shippers who LOVE NARUHINA ANGST. I’ve been asked for angst recs far more than any other type????

I will now compile every angst fic rec I’ve ever made into one long list. (folks can see if there’s anything I’ve missed 🤓)

NARUHINA ANGST

“A Place In The Sun” by ihaveastorminme - Rated M for smut and depictions of violence, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto realizes that he’s not enough to love her. He’s not enough to save her, either.

“A Fate Worse than Death” by Caelestia - Rated M for smut, ABO Canon-Divergent, One-shot. Naruto, improperly socialized and traumatized as a child, rejects his inner Alpha, which has devastating consequences on his family and marriage. “A Risky Bet” is its fluffier follow-up.

“Girl No 10″ by meeiwen - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto makes a mistake with a dancer one drunk night. Years later when he meets her again, he begins realizing his perfect life is a lie, but he’s too late to fix it. Angst if you want to know what dying feels like warning.

“if this is love (why does it hurt?)” by ClairvoyantDreamer1011 - Rated M, Friends with benefits Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Hinata knew many things about Naruto Uzumaki. She knew that his heated glances meant ‘I want you’; that lingering touches whispered 'please’, and that the sight of his back to her screamed 'leave’. But she couldn’t tell you what they were to each other for the life of her.

“If You Said You Loved Me” by destiny’s sweet melody - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. Naruto begins to realize he took her feelings for granted and now he’s too late.

“The Ring that Binds” by softwind - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto and Hinata are married. So why is Naruto calling “Sakura” in his sleep?

“Why would innocent little Hinata be out dressed like that?” (One-shot) and its follow-up “On Any Given Day” (Long One-Shot) by @utsus - Rated T, Canon-Divergent. Hinata tries to move on from Naruto, right when he realizes he wants to keep her.

“For the Future” by @utsus - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata understands this better than anyone else. Naruto is easy to love. (I actually just hate the ending a lot. That’s what puts this on the list).

“Gilded Butterflies” by Kid Crisis - Rated M for depictions of violence, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Tenshi, beautiful prostitute of the Villa, realized from a very young age that people seem to do nothing but empty her, and not even Naruto seems capable of convincing her otherwise.

“Serenity Prayer” by @katarinahime - Rated M for smut, substance abuse, PTSD, and depictions of domestic violence and non-con, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. When their fairytale endings smash to ugly pieces, Hinata and Naruto help put each other back together.

“Common Side Effects” (Naruto’s POV) by @katarinahime & “Medicated” (Hinata’s POV) by @szajnie - Rated E for smut, substance abuse, mental illness, and depictions of violence, self-harm, and attempted suicide, Crime/Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto and Hinata, in a struggling relationship, must confront the pain inside before they can love each other.

“In Another Life” by theGeneralissimo - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. In which Naruto listens to his mother’s advice and marries a girl like her. And lives to regret it.

“Mistake” by Cherry1315 - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto falls apart, and, unfortunately, Hinata has to pick up the pieces.

“Until the Day I Love” by BluBlooThalassophile - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Everyone is recovering from the war.

“Hidden From Sunlight” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. How different could Naruto’s life be when the girl that seemed 'barely around’ is truly hardly around at all?

“Powerless” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated M for depictions of violence and character death, Mystery/Crime High School/Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. His family’s past can’t be taken at face-value, and it comes clawing back to hurt him in ways that are out of his control. DELETED FIC.

“21 Days” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated E includes dub-con, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Anonymous internet friends decide to meet up IRL and give each other their first times.

“April - Too Late/Missed Opportunities” from “Still Falling for You” by @chloelapomme - Rated T, College/Modern AU, One-shot. After her 3 years away for college, Naruto decides to confess.

“June - Honor/Sacrifice” from “Still Falling for You” by @chloelapomme - Rated T, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto marries Hinata, the girl of his dreams. If only she loved him back.

“you totally almost killed me that one time (it’s okay I still love you)” by @itachiboutit - Rated G, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto, a promising baseball player, returns to Konoha Prep, and, without so much as even a “long time no see,” hits a ball into Hinata’s face. (This isn’t really angsty…but I get really upset in Ch. 4 and cry a lot every time.)

“Because I Love You” aka “Arranged Marriage AU Take 2″ (Same fic) by @magmawrites - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. A canon divergent fic in which The Last never happened and Hinata Hyuga was promised to another.

“Asylum AU” from “Tales of Two Ninjas” by @magmawrites - Rated M, Modern AU, One-shot. What’s to say what’s real and what isn’t? The only thing that’s valid and true in all universes is their love for one another.

“Dreaming of AU” from “Tales of Two Ninjas” by @magmawrites - Rated M for implied suicide, Modern AU, One-shot. Naruto dreams of her. He grows to love her. Dreams are nice. Too bad reality is a nightmare. (Most likely a continuation of the Asylum AU.)

“Memory Loss AU” from “Tales of Two Ninjas” by @magmawrites - Rated M, Amnesia Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. I LOVE YOU. Will I ever hear those words from your lips again?

“The Path We Walk” by @tenney-shoes - Rated T, Amnesia Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. With his memory of the past five years missing, Naruto never expected to be married to Hinata, and now he must navigate through the maze that is their life together with no memory of how he got there.

“Easier For Me” by @tenney-shoes - Rated T, Amnesia Canon-Divergent AU, Two-shot, Complete. How will Hinata handle waking up with no memory of how she got there?

“My Escape” by @marimare-writes - Rated T, Amnesia Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto wakes up from a coma with no recollection of life after graduating the Academy. Hinata, anxious and with a secret that will change both of their lives, struggles with what to do.

“Consolation Prize: Through Her Distorted Mirror” by mysterious intentions - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Her love is taken lightly, as if her heart could change so easily.

“Good Luck” By LovelyLori - Rated T, Flowers/Ballet AU, Two-Shot, Complete. A Japanese ballet company arrives in Naruto’s town. Can love transcend language barriers? (I spent HOURS looking for this one, it totally breaks my heart.)

“On the outside looking in” by @char-lotteral - Rated E for smut, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto’s in love with his best friend’s girlfriend fiancee. And he’s not moving on.

“Sincerely, Uzumaki Naruto” by @bkgsbby - Rated T, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. After his wife leaves him a week after giving birth to their son, Naruto moves back to Konoha. He adjusts to life as a single father, with the help of his friends and surprisingly, his old crush.

“Road to Redemption” by averagejane497 - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto’s made a lot of mistakes in his life, especially concerning the women he loves. Maybe this time he can get it right.

“You’re the One” by AnimeloverNUMBA100 - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. After 4 desperate years, Hinata finally asked Naruto out. He decides to give her a chance, but his feelings for Sakura has never faded. Hinata is slowly losing hope as time goes on…and she soon chooses to leave him.

Untitled by @randomprose - Rated G, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. Prompt: Hinata finds out that Naruto told Minato that Sakura is his girlfriend.

“Jitters” by ncfan - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, One-shot. He has her heart but he doesn’t even know it.

“The Red Umbrella” by ncfan - Rated G, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. As the rain hits her, Hinata thinks about what she doesn’t have, and what she’ll never have now.

“Duplicity” by GoldKing - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Uzumaki Sakura wants to know why Hinata’s children are blond.

“My Favorite Night” by @peppercornpresses - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Hinata harbors deeper feelings for Naruto after three years of being his roommate. When he starts dating Sakura, Hinata decides it’s in her heart’s best interest to turn the other way, and leaves Naruto for good with a heart-breaking secret in tow.

“The Loving Type” by @peppercornpresses - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. A few years have passed since the Fourth Shinobi War, in which…Rookie Nine steadily advances in rank. Naruto gets engaged. Hinata leaves Konoha. And Kakashi schemes for days.

“Blurred Lines” by @vegebulsoup - Rated E, Police / Cops and Robbers Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Detective Naruto Uzumaki is having a hard time staying focused at work due to an elusive, dark-haired beauty. (Starts off fun and smutty, grows angsty).

“I want you to cry” and its sequel “Road of Tears” by Devahhole - Rated E for graphic murder, dub-con/non-con, and smut, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. A sociopath blinded by revenge runs into his greatest opponent.

“Absolute” by @ssa25 - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. She was his kind, shy and innocent friend. Until she wasn’t. He was her pure, beautiful and unrequited love. Until he wasn’t.

I’m very glad that you enjoyed my “White Lilies” fic!! Here’s everything I could think of for you to cry or stress out over.

SAD READING 😢

#anon #naruhina fanfic recs #naruhina angst

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hellomynamiseglaf · 4 years

Text

🌰Chestnuts and Warm Milk🍂

My List of ~Favorites~ for Interactive Fiction and Visual Novels

(This is a work in progress so please bear with me)

Interactive Fiction:

The Wayhaven Chronicles (WIP Series in Development) - @seraphinitegames (Look,,, I’m just... obsessed.. I can’t stop thinking abt it,,, and I'm..... sometimes, I read and I think I feel like I know what love is.)

Mind Blind (WIP) - @mindblindbard (I just,, UGH it’s so good. I can't even say that much because my feelings about it are so potent that everytime I see an update I try to tell myself to leave it alone to play larger portions of updates as a treat and everytime my willpower FAILS and I replay the demo like twice in a row)

Demon: Recollect ; Forsaken (WIP) - both by @bathalafiction (whew...WHEW!!! Are you kidding me?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Look. I was attached to Demon: Recollect. I loved it. And then I played the Forsaken WIP and now I can't get over my absolutely BOMB character design for my player persona. Also it's kind of fun being considered a jerk in the game, because it opens up a lot of different options that I usually feel bad about taking)

Shadow Society - @carawenfiction (the concept is so interesting,, I dream of more. Also Quaiel...baby...)

The Soul Stone War - @intimidatingpuffinstudios (also whew!! I really enjoyed it and the characters all picture themselves really vividly in my mind for some reason.)

Greenwarden (WIP) - @fiddles-ifs (reading this is like thick fog.. but in a good way? I don't know how to describe it without pictures but this IF smells like fog over wet grass)

Divine Intervention (WIP) - @divineinterventiongame (the concept?? UGH SO GOOD. For some reason it's always the first game I click to check for updates)

Golden (WIP) - @milaswriting (😈😈😈😈)

Blood/line (WIP) - @bloodlineoffical (simply put,,, LARRY)

Supernatural in New York ; The Bastard of Camelot (both WIPs) - @llamagirl28 (UGH Both of these are so good in their own ways but equally as exciting to see updates for. I haven't consolidated my feelings much further than "my MC for SiNY is so cute" and "Mordred is a child" but they're all generally positive.)

Ace of Spades (WIP) - @steph-writing (I keep thinking about,,, con........)

Nevermoore (WIP) - @asteristories (AHHHHH.... let me say it again for those in the back: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

Son of Satan: The Mortal Coil (WIP) - @sosthemortalcoil (YES.)

Shepherds of Haven (WIP) - @shepherds-of-haven (yes. I just have to sigh because it's very good and I like saying those funny little words of power. But also outside of the game I can only picture this game as a great, grey border collie)

Attollo (WIP) - @attollo (Also a very interesting concept, whoo... I almost forgot how immersive it was untill I played the demo again and was reminded of how 'into it' I was straight off the bat. Also the seperate, short little piece on the blog with Sysba was also really good and I had a dream about it the other day)

Into the Shadows (WIP) - @wynnakang (whooo.... I'm sighing again, but louder. I press restart and play the demo again)

A Comedy of Manors (WIP) - @sviyaginthegreat (I kept replaying options that I hadn't chosen before because I wanted there to be more lmao)

Fallen Hero: Rebirth - @fallen-hero (I think there's a sequel coming up? I haven't stopped thinking about this storyline since I finished it omg... the.. the details are really good and I've become ridiculously attached to my tragic villain? Character... she IS the standard for my reusable IF persona, or at least one of my most prominent ones ;-D )

Samurai of Hyuga (WIP series) - (I'm pretty sure multiplechoicestudios.com is the development blog for this game, or at least what I've been checking for updates..... this is a series with four book currently out.... and I've been playing through book 4 at slower than a snail's pace in a desperate attempt to prolong my experience. I really didn't think I was going to like it as much as I did but I got a little too into it and now I'm horribly attached to all the characters)

The Porthecrawl Witness(WIP) - @porthecrawl-witness (I'm pretty sure this is a WIP?? But ugh. SCREEEEEE- it's so good. It's SO GOOD. I really want to punch Talbot in the face. And Asher, if for a different reason. And sort of Staci just to try. Quinn is just a cutie I could never hurt him like that. Ugh but they're all so good and I forgot that I was reading a WIP untill it suddenly was over..... I'mfeeling really aggressive rn as I'm writing this, so please just note that the punch comment is meant as a statement on how interesting the concept and immersiveness of the characters and story is)

Forgotten Names (WIP) - by Alexandra_Zorila on the CoG Forum (turn the volume up. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Look, look. It's..... delicious. It's SO interesting and I obsessively have a tab open on my computer to check for updates)

OFNA: Birds of a Feather (WIP) - @ofna (the vibes are so grey and smoky but the fog is definitely from a party smoke machine and the room is only dark because the walls are taped with those huge sheets of black construction paper that teachers use to cover their bulletin boards with... the game definitely falls in the 'dark and mysterious' genre but something just strikes me as really funny when I play it. Anyway it's good and it's in a lot if recommended lists for a reason. Also I'm very attached to my American Goldfinch)

More Things in Heaven and Earth (WIP) - @morethingsgame (in the same way that it's fun to play Guenevere in the Guenevere game or Mordred in The Bastard of Camelot, playing Ophelia in the sort-of Hamlet story is really fun. If anyone has read the Missing collection- which I absolutely love- by Margaret Peterson Haddix, this gives me similar vibes for some reason. Anyway, I really want to give Hamlet a hug and make him a flower crown or something)

A Tale of Crowns (WIP) - @ataleofcrowns (It's kind of not even funny how much I love this game... It's hard to even describe why I like it, just that it's so well rounded in terms of the story, characters, dialogue, and relationships. It's such an interesting plotline and it's pretty immersive. Also the first time I read the demo, there was an update as I was reading and the high that sent me on has very rarely been matched. Also Dara running to save my Crown in the tunnel?? 🤚😩🤭💓 ugh. UGH!! That's good food for my fool heart)

Scout: An Apocalypse Story (WIP)- @anya-dev (I'm usually not that into apocalypse themes/plots but I really enjoyed this game, and the plot was very good and intruiging... it really pulled me in and I like my character in the story a lot. I don't know why but it tastes like chikuwa, atsuage, and this specific type of carmelized onions that my mom makes sometimes)

Nothing left to burn (WIP)- @clowdee-works (......ouch. I *knew* what was going to happen and I STILL became attached to Drew)

Smoke and Velvet - @roast-ifs (It's good. And I am VEDY much into my character design. Also the story is really interesting, and I enjoy the setting a lot somehow)

Speaker (WIP)- @speakergame (very fun to play, and each update gets me more interested in the aspects of the plot. I also really like the little descriptions of what the characters think of the player)

The Nameless (WIP)- @parkerlyn (interesting plot, I like the characters a lot, and The aesthetics of this world are so interesting. Definitely had a good time visualizing what everything looked like)

Fields of Asphodel (WIP) - @asphodelgame (I think it's really cute so far!!! I like mythology in general, and the persephone/hades dynamic is *mwah!*... I like the way the story progresses in the beginning, and I think it works well in drawing the reader into the world. I also very much enjoy petting large dogs.)

...there are so much more.. and I have followed so many blogs.........

I'm not sure why I can't find it rn but there's this one WIP game that I really like where the MC buys a manor for like dollar and moves to go live there with her best friend and shenanigans ensue as they try to settle in and fix up the estate

Harbringer (WIP) - @harbringercog (....are you KIDDING me?? I was fully planning on just enjoying the demo and keeping a mental note to update the list sometime later,,, but this game... THIS GAME really made me fold. It's very immersive and regardless of how nervous the author claims to be after releasing the demo, it's of my humble opinion that those nerves can be calmed. It's very good. I was planning on procrastinating and reading a little bit and then going back to this essay I need to write, but somehow I got pulled in and ended up reading through the whole demo and it's apparent that I honestly had no chance of getting through this without becoming invested in the plot.... just... so good.. I'm very excited to see how this will progress)

Visual Novels:

Andromeda 6 (WIP) - @andromeda-six (I repeat: Obsessed, I come back every few months to see an update and I fall deeper into the hole every time...)

To the Edge of the Sky (WIP,, probably) - by Ajané (??) on Steam (I think, it’s been a while)

Next on my list to check out: Perfumare by pdrrook

Does.... does The Arcana game by Nix Hydra count as VN?? If so, then yes.

Similarly, the FictIF games are all entertaining, although Last Legacy and Heir to Love and Lies are my favorites rn (and.....unfinished....)

I also don't know if this counts, because I kind of consider Otome games to be their own genre, but on the Love 365: find your story by Voltage Inc. There are a bunch of fun stories, my favorite of which are: the Shinichi Kagari route on After School Affairs and the Saejima and Keiichiro routes on Bad Boys do it Better

..To be continued...

#IF_VN #fis fic recs #interactive fiction #visual novels #game #recommendations

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years

Note

Jgy and jyl couple, where meng yao asked for nmj help for courting her in the middle of sunshot campain, could we see the political shenanigans involving jgs being his scummy self and newborn meng ling

World 2 - continuation of Four Worlds (JGY/JYL) - ao3 link

“So, uh,” Nie Mingjue said, uncertain and tripping over his tongue a way he never typically did. “What’s your plan?”

Meng Yao blinked at him.

“For courting Mistress Jiang,” Nie Mingjue clarified. “Unless you’ve already reached an agreement..?”

A bowl of soup every night and some pleasant conversation did not, in fact, make for an agreement to marriage, so Meng Yao shook his head.

“Right. So you have a plan, then.”

Meng Yao did not have a plan. Meng Yao did not have anything, nothing but his father’s blood, the weight of his promise to his mother, and his own clever mind; all he had was the sudden and overwhelming conviction that if he let Jiang Yanli go her own way without him that he would never again find a woman who would truly see him as her equal.

There was that girl, Qin Su, that he’d rescued – but that had been artifice, deliberate. He who had access to all of the reports of all the spies in the Sunshot Campaign, who sent out correspondence advising people on what roads were dangerous and which were safe, how could he not know that she would find danger in the route she had chosen? He had deliberately manufactured to rescue her as a means of winning her affection, his eyes all the while fixed on the prize of her surname, her family, which was one of the strongest subsidiary sects of Lanling Jin. They had influence he would need in winning back his name.

And while he had succeeded in his goal – once he had some status, she would fight her father to marry him, he was certain – he still thought he could detect the slightest hint of pity in her eyes. She was a girl in love, claiming that she didn’t care who he was or anything about his past, but how long would that last in the face of sober reality? In the face of struggle, of bitter adversity, of the opposition and scorn of all?

“…would you like help?” Nie Mingjue said, possibly correctly interpreting the blankness on Meng Yao’s face as absolute panic for the first time in the time they had known each other.

“Can you help?” Meng Yao inquired. It seemed unlikely.

“Well, I can write to my brother,” Nie Mingjue said, which sounded far more likely than the infamously frigid Chifeng-zun abruptly developing an expertise in wooing women. “And I’m on good terms with Mistress Jiang personally, so I might be able to provide some insight –”

“Wait,” Meng Yao said, fixing him with a stare. “What do you mean you’re on good terms with her personally?”

Nie Mingjue blinked at him. “Exactly what I said..? We first became acquainted as children, and while we were never close, we were always friendly.”

“But – you only allowed her to stay at our warcamp if she agreed to work! You said you’d kick her out if she wasn’t useful!”

“Naturally,” Nie Mingjue said. “Otherwise she might suspect I pitied her.”

Presumably, Meng Yao reflected, that statement made some amount of sense in Nie Mingjue’s head.

“What does she like, then?” he asked, deciding to focus on the practical. “Cooking, her brothers –”

Befriending people who are so far below her that they aren’t worthy of touching her shoe.

“She’s never had much talent at swordsmanship,” Nie Mingjue said at once, because of course that would be the first thing he would pay attention to. “Not her fault – she’s like Huaisang, born with a weak body, only worse, since it affected her breathing. Too much exertion and she’d turn blue…she used to chew licorice for it, when she was very young; if I recall correctly, she developed a taste for it.”

“Licorice? She likes licorice candy?”

Nie Mingjue nodded.

“She also always enjoyed reading. Poetry, classic texts or light, she wasn’t particular,” he said, brow furrowed in recollection. “She liked puzzles. Was always doing something with her hands – not embroidery, though, not unless she had to. But other things.”

Meng Yao nodded, his quick mind already flooded with ideas, thoughts…he was going to need to be clever about this.

Worse – he was going to need to be honest.

Jiang Yanli deserved it.

Meng Yao went to Langya with Nie Mingjue’s recommendation letter in his pocket and the memory of two hands in his, pressing together tightly, and a “yes” that rang in his ears so loudly that he almost didn’t hear the sneers and disdain of the people around him.

His father refused to see him, his peers mocked him, his supervisor stole his achievements and called his mother a whore –

“Yes,” Jiang Yanli whispered in his ear. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Meng Yao ignored them all.

He figured out soon enough that Lanling Jin was getting him nowhere, and that without some tremendous achievement, he wouldn’t get the name he had promised his mother he’d have, the one he was starting to doubt he even really wanted.

His supervisor told him he’d be better off dead in the battlefield, implied that he’d see it happen sooner rather than later. Meng Yao considered killing him.

“I would be proud to be your wife.”

Meng Yao did not kill him.

Nie Mingjue might’ve, chasing him out of the battlefield the way he did, eyes red with rage at Jin Guangshan’s insulting pretense – if nothing else, he should have given Nie Mingjue face by accepting the letter, especially given how many battles Nie Mingjue had won for him – but Meng Yao did not.

“I have an idea,” he told Nie Mingjue once he’d had a chance to calm the man down. “You’re going to hate it, so I’m not going to tell you what it is.”

“Be safe,” Nie Mingjue said at once. “Don’t do anything stupid and widow Mistress Jiang before you even marry her.”

Meng Yao smiled, and closed his ears to the sound of Jiang Yanli’s voice. He would need it more than ever, where he was going, but more importantly, if he wanted to succeed, he needed he needed to be the sort of person he was without her.

“I won’t.”

It was, Jin Guangyao thought with satisfaction, a perfect strategy.

He had brought down Wen Ruohan with his own hands, saved Nie Mingjue’s life – “What part of ‘I won’t do anything stupid’ means ‘I’m going to go spy in the Nightless City’, you imbecile?” “Sect Leader Nie is happy to see me, then?” “Of course I’m happy to see you! Now get over here and let me break your legs!” – and even swore brotherhood with him and with Lan Xichen.

With such a string of achievements to his name, strong connections to the other Great Sects, and even a personal title, there was no way Jin Guangshan would be able to resist the idea of bringing him into the Jin family to steal some of his reflected glory, even if it meant he’d finally have to give his bastard son the recognition and the name he’d so long refused to grant him.

Oh, his father had gotten his dig in there, calling him Jin Guangyao and situating him firmly outside the line of inheritance for the next generation where he properly belonged, but a name was a name. He was Lanling Jin, now and forever; his promise to his mother fulfilled at long last.

“We will have to find something for you to do, I suppose,” Jin Guangshan said when Jin Guangyao rose to his feet bearing a new name, as though he was trying to place a distant relative into some position as a servant, the minor irritations attendant to the life of a sect leader. “You were a deputy once, weren’t you? Doing all sorts of administrative things. You can arrange the hunt that we will hold to celebrate the end of the war, at Phoenix Mountain.”

“It would be my honor to serve you in this matter, father,” Jin Guangyao said demurely, and even managed to avoid rolling his eyes at the way Jin Guangshan pretended he didn’t know exactly whose deputy he had been, even after Nie Mingjue’s rather impassioned and too-public lecture on the subject back in Langya. “I am pleased to be able to contribute something before I leave the family.”

“Before – what?” Jin Guangshan turned a little purple in his rage, embarrassed in front of all the people who had come to view the naming ceremony and who had all started whispering all at once. His wife, who had been glaring death, suddenly looked far more interested in the proceedings. “Leave? What are you talking about?”

“I’m engaged to be married,” Jin Guangyao said apologetically. “I agreed to marry in – you understand, I didn’t have the Jin surname at the time.”

“You have it now. The girl can marry into our family, instead!”

Jin Guangyao’s smile widened. “I’m so pleased to have your blessing upon my marriage, Father,” he said, bowing his head. A father’s blessing was critical to a proper wedding, so he wanted it to be clear to the entire room that Jin Guangshan had agreed. It would make it more difficult for him to recant later. “But her family is small, her parents and much of her sect killed in the war, and she has only one brother – I promised her that I would marry in to ensure that her parents’ legacy lives on, even if only as the collateral branch.”

“It does you credit to respect your future bride in such a manner,” Madame Jin said before Jin Guangshan could speak. Jin Guangyao had counted on her leaping to his aid: she must think that it was in her best interest that the one bastard that Jin Guangshan had finally legitimatized be immediately rendered utterly ineligible for inheriting the Jin sect, and that nothing else mattered. Her open support now would make it more difficult for her to recant later, too, when she discovered that he was foiling her plans for her own son’s marriage. “Quite romantic, even. It warms my heart to see such faithful love.”

Jin Guangshan’s face went even more purple. To be criticized in public like that – only Madame Jin could accomplish such a feat.

Jin Guangyao saluted and bowed deeply to them both once again. “Father and Mother honor me too much. With your approval, I will arrange the Phoenix Mountain hunt as a proud member of the Jin clan and leave the family to marry into my beloved’s family on the first auspicious date thereafter.”

“Fine,” Jin Guangshan said, his lip twisting into a sneer. He couldn’t understand why anyone would want to be part of Lanling Jin and then leave it behind – he probably expected Jin Guangyao to stay and beg for scraps of attention, to run around doing anything he wished, to scheme for an inheritance he would always be denied. He might not have been wrong, in another life where that was Jin Guangyao’s only route to power – he’d always been ambitious, and often a little too optimistic with it. “Fine. You are, after all, my son, and to marry you will be a great honor for whichever family you choose. We’ll pay for your wedding, and even endower you as if you were a bride worthy of the family you marry into – it is the least that we can do, for the great honor that you have brought to Lanling Jin.”

At least his father remembered that he’d made a contribution, Jin Guangyao thought, and bowed again. It was an insult to call it a dowry, as if Jin Guangyao was a woman, instead of simply bestowing it on him outright as a gift, and even that pathetic gesture was only being made because his father knew they were in public, surrounded by the sect leaders of the cultivation world that he wanted to impress. And even then, even then, he had still tried to be clever, to say he would only make Jin Guangyao equal to the family he married into.

No doubt he expected that the only family that would take him when he was Meng Yao was some bunch of nobodies, and that the wedding would therefore be small, cheap, and uninteresting, just as he no doubt thought Jin Guangyao deserved.

He was doomed to disappointment.

“Congratulations, brother,” Jin Zixuan said, and maybe even meant it. “Who is your intended bride?”

Jin Guangyao savored the moment.

“Mistress Jiang, of Yunmeng Jiang,” he said, and watched Jin Guangshan’s face go pale, Madame Jin’s twist in abrupt rage, Jin Zixuan’s eyes go wide in sudden envy.

There were those that said the best revenge was living well, and they had something of a point, only they had left out a bit.

The best revenge was living well – and rubbing your enemies’ faces in it.

#mdzs #jin guangyao #nie mingjue #jiang yanli #jin guangshan #my fic #my fics #sorry you don't get meng ling #but you get politics?#Anonymous

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funkymbtifiction · 3 years

Text

Finding my Si: a submission

I’d like to share 6 things that helped me discover my Si and how Charity’s advice helped me, in case it helps anyone else :)

1.It helps when friends and family tell you what they think your dominant function is. Like a fish not realizing the water is wet, it’s so normal that it’s invisible to you. My mum picked Si the minute I asked her which function described me best; she said, ‘You trust your personal experiences and refer back to them all the time; it’s like an anchor for you. You rely on the past to get you through the present.’ One by one, my friends picked the same, pointing to how I recollect everything from the date we first met to changes in their food preferences to the color of the shirt they wore one Monday morning. I never realized the enormity of the storehouse of detail in my head until they pointed out that not everyone treasures memory-keeping in the same way. I wouldn’t say Si memory is photographic; for me, it’s more like a fisherman’s net, where I gather in what matters to me. I see a living mosaic of past and present when I look at people and places I love.

2. Being willing to question my own assumptions. An unflinching look at what I actually do, not what I think I do.

I considered Ni when I thought of goals I’ve set. For example, I got into the same UK university at 18 that I’d loved at age 14. This story initially sounded as though I’d had a clear future vision, and never let go of the dream (Ni). However, I’d left out winding twists and turns in between. At 16, I was captivated by a Canadian university and considered going there for a while; at 17, I considered studying in New York. Eventually, I applied to a bunch of unis and got an offer from the original ‘dream one’ in England. It was the best offer and I’d remained fond of it, so I wound up going. I was pleased, but I’d been open to other unis and happy to go to them too. After reading the perspective of actual Ni-users on their laser-sharp vision, I realized mine wasn’t as unwavering, intense and single-minded.

Instead, I realized that the reason I treasure this story - 'I visited my uni when I was just a kid and then got to go there for good!’ - is that I liked being able to link my childhood self and adult self. I enjoy connecting the past and present and spotting continuity and change ('Back then, I did this…now I still do this…and I don’t do this….’). My mind always traces back to how things were, which spills over into dinner-table family conversations ('Do you remember when…?’/'You know how we used to…?’). I realized that this type of personal mythologizing and cherishing a living past is Si. I can set goals and work meticulously in a step-by-step IFJ way, but it is not a dominant personality trait in the strikingly single-minded, futuristic, visionary way that is Ni. For anyone considering Ni, I recommend looking up mbti-notes and Charity’s explanations here, as it is a very complex function and it helps to understand exactly how it works.

3. Painful honesty. Confronting flaws isn’t fun. However, as Charity says, it helps to think of pairs (Si-Ne, Ne-Si or Ni-Se) rather than functions in isolation.

I tried to determine which flaw I could most relate to: inferior Te, inferior Se, or inferior Ne.

I couldn’t identify with inferior Te because I’ve always been a careful planner and organizer; even my third-grade report cards said, ‘She loves being efficient and organizing her little space!’ Today, I have multiple administrative responsibilities at work and genuinely enjoy it. There’s something about streamlining systems and attending to details that feels satisfying (dorky, I know). I could not relate to inferior Se either, as sensory engagement has always been a big part of my life. Whether it’s dancing or nature hikes or cooking, hands-on hobbies have always been so core to me that I often find myself feeling one with the natural environment, rather than uncomfortable with it. I haven’t had reckless moments characteristic of inferior Se. But inferior Ne - those descriptions embarrassed me.

As Charity says, if something makes you go ‘ouch’, it might hit the nail on the head.

I thought I had good Ne because I can see multiple perspectives. But this is more a 9 and 2 influence ('Staying open-minded helps to understand people, help them, and resolve conflict’) and a skill honed through my job in peace-building. What trips me up are the problems plaguing inferior Ne users. Newness and novelty feels hard. My 9 probably plays into it, but in general I am not good at out of the box thinking and brainstorming dozens of different approaches. Despite my 2-9 positive outlook, I usually feel fearful of the unknown and find it difficult to speculate or imagine possibilities in the uncertain future.

4. It helps to see where your attention goes. When I teach and review students’ essays, I’ll start leaving comments about their word-choice in paragraph 3; the evidence they used on page 2; how their argument on page 12 risks contradicting their logic on page 10, etc. I can hold these details in my head with ease, suggest a clear structure, and spot incongruities, but I have to consciously remind myself to zoom out to comment on the overarching ideas in the work.

On the other hand, I notice when I do something creative or abstract because it’s not really what I do on a day to day basis. When I first began researching MBTI, I found it easy to recall the last metaphor I imagined because it stood out in my mind. But determining frequency helped. Not just how I think, but how often I think that way. Ne is a ‘play’ function for me - on good days, it’s a whimsical scribble in a poetry journal, occasional daydreams, self-improvement books on my shelf.

5. Being able to tease out finer differences in cognition. I got interested in a Royal Family controversy recently. I thought I was using Ni because I mused on the consequences for the nation (in a Ni-Fe way). However, I realized I was less interested in future possibility and more interested in what was helpful for interpersonal understanding (Fe/2-9) and how the country could preserve the traditions and culture built up over centuries (Si). Rather than preferring to look ahead and predict what would happen (Ni). It’s a fine line, but it helped to think: how often is my cognition located in the future vs the past? Which one feels more natural? Is it an Enneagram or an MBTI influence at play?

6. Avoiding sensor bias. I felt I must be an intuitive because I do engage in abstract conversation sometimes. It’s just that my topics of choice come from my Enneagram 269 tritype. How can schools treat children better? What can we do to promote community mental health? What keeps kids safer? My job is centered around people’s welfare, and I’d be happy to discuss theories of human psychology or relationships or mental health because I’m very absorbed in my little niche of knowledge. However, concrete applications interest me most, and I am not likely to start conversations about, say, 18th century theology or automated cars or space travel. My INFP and INFJ friends seem interested in a much wider range of philosophical conversation.

I agree with a post on this blog that pointed out that modern psychology now understands traits not as bimodal distributions (X or Y) but along a spectrum (how much of X? How much of Y?). People differ in where they lie along the spectrum. I’d say I’m close to the middle. My biggest tell that I lean towards sensing is when I look through philosophy books on human well being. Even though the topic reflects my interests, I’m quickly bored by too much theory. I’m happy to thrash out an idea with a friend, but it needs to be animated by real-life examples and practical applications for me to stay interested.

Above all, I recommend observing where your heart leads. Much of my free time goes into journal-writing, old albums, and time capsules. Detail-driven memory-keeping fulfills me deeply, and it was this deep joy that proved most helpful for recognizing my Si :)

#submission #isfj #istj

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makowo · 3 years

Text

Forever Deep Below Creation

This is still a work in progress, but due to my lack of posted writing in the past 3 months, I thought I'd give a sneak peek at the beginning of the fic.

Warnings: None

Characters: Naegi Makoto, Kirigiri Kyoko

Relationships: Kirigiri Kyoko/Naegi Makoto

Words: 3k

It’s another warm night in the woods. Cicadas cast their calls to the air, and while some creatures tuck into their nests and dens, others rise to greet the darkened sky. Wing and hooves and fingers and claws grazing the sky, Brushing against the stars and cupping the face of the moon.

And here Makoto is, prepping dinner in the cottage he calls a home. His home. Their home.

He pulls out a knife from the block by the counter just as he hears the front door’s lock click. He can almost feel the burst of warm night air flooding their living room, though it is little to the warmth of the stove as it works to bring water to a boil.

He blinks, dropping his focus to turn towards his wife with a grin. “Welcome home honey!”

“Honey?” Kyoko echos, placing her bag on the coffee table. She leaves her holstered gun beside it, walking into the kitchen to check on him. “It’s unusual for you to use pet names.”

“Only if I wanna tease you.” He chuckles, and she does it right back. “Unless you prefer stuff like “babe” or “sweetheart”?”

Arms wrap around his waist, Kyoko resting her chin on his shoulder. “What’s for dinner tonight?”

She avoids the question, and he saves that tidbit of info for later. Avoidance is not a no, after all. “Yakisoba.” He nudges the noodles around with a spoon, half-focused on it as he leans back against his wife. “Thought it might be good to have something quick tonight, y’know?”

Kyoko merely hums, burying her face into the crook of his neck. “Shouldn’t you turn up the AC? You’re cold.”

“Means I can cuddle up to you to stay warm tonight though.”

“As if I’ll let you do that.” She scoffs. He can feel her smile against his skin.

“Ohh?” He goes through the motions of prepping their dinner, Kyoko stumbling along with his hasty steps with a steadfast grip. “And how are you gonna stop it?” Even if they’re on opposite ends of the bed, they always wake up with one clinging to the other. Hard not to cuddle.

She takes a minute to ruminate on it, before managing an answer. “Heater. Right between us.”

Makoto laughs. “Won’t that burn?”

“If it keeps your ice hands from touching me at 2 in the morning, then ‘m fine.”

His whine of objection couldn’t be more fake. “That’s mean.” He quickly nabs the pair of bowls set aside early on, tracing the grooves of their rims with his thumbs as he sets them out side by side. “You’re mean.”

Finally, he’s released from his lavender-scented prison as Kyoko reaches for one of the bowls, unsubtly nudging him in an attempt to get him out of the way. He stays still however, nudging her right back. “It’s still hot, Kiri-san! Gotta let it sit for a bit.” He warns with a frown.

“It can sit for a bit in my bowl.” She replies deadpan, still urging him away. And he relents, because it isn’t that big of a deal anyway but he doesn’t want to watch Kyoko burn her mouth while trying to eat again. Or just forget about it while she works.

“Then eat with me in the living room.” Makoto grabs his own bowl, getting what yakisoba she leaves behind in the pan. “And after it, we go straight to bed.” He’s not risking his work going to waste, after all.

Even with these tough terms he’s set up, Kyoko lazily nods, most likely due to still suffering from sleep deprivation. Maybe she’ll decline when she’s woken up a bit, maybe she won’t. Makoto decides to settle down on the couch and put on a movie that might distract her from it anyway.

It’s more background noise than anything, though; something about an escape room? Pretty sure he put on a sequel movie too, which turns their interest only to one another. Not that he minds.

“Would you like to go on a trip sometime in the next month?”

“Mmh, yeah?” He replies through a mouthful of food, quickly swallowing it before continuing. “What case has you going out of the country this time?” It’s not odd for Kyoko to ask if he wants to travel with her if she knows it’ll take too long for Makoto to bear.

She shakes her head, taking a bite of her food before answering. “I mean as a vacation, actually?” She replies with a tone implying that she’s questioning her own words already.

“Vacation?” He can’t help but echo, because… well, Kyoko never takes vacations! He can imagine she has a lot of days saved up because of that, but it never seems like she plans to put them to use other than for emergencies. Guess he read her wrong on that part, even if this is the first time she’s planning a legitimate vacation herself in the four years she’s been working as a detective again.

“Is it a bad time?”

“No, no!” Makoto shakes his head, not daring to let this slip by. “I’d love a vacation! It’d be nice to get out of the house.” He doesn’t really have much going on anyway, since the whole school idea didn’t really pan out. He’s just a stay at home husband now, and since Kyoko still makes enough money to support them both, he’s not actively seeking a job right now. Thus, he’s perfectly free.

Kyoko smiles. “Good. I’ve made sure to go ahead and clear up a week for ourselves, but I need to know what you might want to do.” She glances at him curiously, before quickly adding on. “Preferably not something that’s outside of Japan, I’d have trouble paying for that right now.”

Well that’s a no brainer for him, but it does narrow down his options significantly, which he happens to be thankful for. “Do you have anything in mind?” For a fleeting moment, Makoto recalls his dinner, taking a bite of it before he looks away from it and thus forgets it even exists. “I’m gonna be honest, I don’t really have anything in mind…” Never been one to aspire for once-in-a-lifetime thrills, like skydiving or something. He’d be happy just lounging at home the whole week, despite his earlier comment.

“I thought we could go to a nearby city then, and go sight-seeing.” Kyoko spares a glance towards the movie playing, before interest in it is once again immediately lost “Maybe in Seoul? There’s a large cave system there as well, and they’re open to caving this time of year.”

“Hm?” Makoto tries to recall what exactly that is, but he’s drawing blanks. “What’s that?”

“Well, Seoul is-”

“I know what Seoul is.” Makoto deadpans, though completely understands why she thought that was what he was talking about. He’s not the most educated person, what with the whole memory loss thing. “”I mean caving! I’ve never, uh, heard of that.”

“Ah.” Kyoko nods, setting down her bowl on the coffee table. “Apologies. It is rather self-explanatory however; we just go and explore a cave system with a small group.” She shrugs, stifling a yawn. “I thought it might be fun to do something like that together. It’s rare for a person to do, wouldn’t be too dangerous, and we’d be together the whole time.”

That does sound pretty cool, he’ll admit. He’s never really gone into a cave before, if he excludes the ones that they’d have to hide in during… ah, well, it’d just be nice. Doing something kind of thrilling. He imagines it’s thrilling, at least.

“I think it’d be fun!” He finally chirps, leaning over to rest his head on Kyoko’s shoulder. “It’s been a while since we’ve done something together, I’m sure it’d be a good time for us both.” And he’s pretty sure they don’t have any trauma tied to caves, which is a definite plus! Unless they count claustrophobia? Neither of them have shown signs of that though, so they’ll hopefully be fine. Hopefully.

As if she were able to sense his worry (which he doesn’t doubt that she can), Kyoko places a hand on his leg, stopping its worried bouncing. He hadn’t even noticed it doing that. “Are you sure?” She asks lightly, brow furrowed with worry. “”It can be dangerous, you know. There’s only so much a tour guide can do to make naturally made caves safe to enter.”

Makoto frowns, now actually worried. “Then why would you recommend it?” He asks, very quietly.

Kyoko takes a while to respond. In fact, she doesn’t respond until she’s actually finished her dinner, as well as his. It was getting cold so he may as well let her have it. “Do some looking, and if you have a better idea, tell me.” And then she heads to bed, because that’s just. A perfectly fine way of ending a conversation.

Makoto trudges on after her after about an hour of thinking (mostly lack thereof, with the television being such a terribly convenient and easy distraction) on the couch. Unlike most nights though, where the room is pitch black, her back turned from the door so as to not catch the stray rays of lights that he’s forgotten to turn off, it’s… actually still pitch black in there. But after a moment of letting his eyes adjust, he catches Kyoko’s alarmingly bright gaze cutting through the gloom.

“Can’t sleep?” He mutters as he stumbles through the dark, going off of his recollection of the room’s layout, reduced to something of barely any use through the haze of sleepiness tugging at his being.

“I can.” She replies slowly, watching him not unlike how a cat would watch their owner. Not that she or their relationship in general compares to that; she just has that… “look”. Like she knows everything. “Was just waiting for you to come to bed.”

If he’s being honest, it’s kind of exciting. It’s the look she gives when her interest is upon him entirely, something that earns a flattered blush every time. “Thank you then.” He chirps, before crawling into bed like a lizard wriggling beneath the warm sands of a desert, except much less gracefully.

He almost expects nothing to happen, oddly enough. He should have known Kyoko was waiting for a reason.

A warmth presses up against his back, and a hum against his ear. “Don’t have to go in until noon tomorrow.” Kyoko huffs. He can just sense her smile when he shivers. “So… we could…” something presses between his legs, and teases just the right spot, “have some time to ourselves, maybe…?”

Makoto is a weak man, and especially weak for his wife. And thus, all he can do is scrounge up what remains of his energy, roll over, and let the franticness of their motions do the rest. ------------------------------------

It’s quite a hike to get to the cave they’ve been looking at. The route is safe, spacious, and short for the most part; it’s apparently a tour “good for beginners”, and while Makoto believes their caving adventures will begin and end with this one, it’s nice to know that this place doesn’t have any curveballs. Or spike-filled areas. Or tunnels one can only crawl through. Or maybe even fractures.

“Stop worrying.” Kyoko demands, his thoughts coming to a harsh stop. He manages not to be totally thrown off, following hastily after his wife as they trudge along a pebble-filled path.

He sighs when he catches up, glancing around. Just west there’s Tokyo, bustling with life, but it’s far enough only to serve as a backdrop to the hill-covered fields they’re in. They follow a path lined by thin ropes tied to sticks in the ground every other step, as despite the lack of actually dangerous areas nearby, there’s a lot of… well, area. The Tragedy changed a lot of the landscape, more so than most would believe.

Stopping his mind from wandering too far again, Makoto directs his attention ahead. They have a few other people with them, much more diverse in their body type than he assumes the average would be for much more difficult to traverse caves. They talk amongst themselves, all of them clearly going with someone they know for the trip. Ahead of them, the tour guides walk, though he can’t tell what they’re doing. He doubts it to be much at all, really.

“Are you excited?” He finally asks, careful not to speak loudly. He doesn’t want to draw much attention from their peers here, they’re lucky enough to have only garnered a few curious looks.

“Of course.” Kyoko replies, just as quiet. “I’m sorry it had to be delayed so much, cases just kept piling up.”

Makoto scoffs. “Don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you’re able to help people.” Adjusting to keep a good hold on his backpack, he reaches over to grasp Kyoko’s hand. She’s changed her gloves today. Much rougher. “Even if it’s not another year until we get a chance like this again, I’m satisfied.”

He hopes for a smile, or the most likely quirk of the lips she gives when beyond the walls of their home. He earns neither.

“I’m not.” She tightens her grip, tugging him forwards. “Come on. We’re falling behind.”

Makoto nods, silent as he follows her up the steep incline, and silent still until they come to the entrance to the cave.

He can only think of an open maw when he sees the entrance. It sits neatly above the ground, embedded into the side of the hill’s peak, moss creeping over the exposed rock. Various plants and flowers bloom from cracks in the walls he can see, reaching out towards the sunlight beyond. But as he looks upon the entrance, the teasing glimpse it shows of its surely vast depths, he can’t help but think they’re trying to escape the dark rather than gain any sunlight.

The heat must be getting to him.

“Alright everyone!” One of the guides chirps, clapping their hands to get everyone’s attention. “Let’s do a quick check to make sure everyone has what they need!”

Makoto remembers all their supplies, and part of him knows that he has everything, but anxiety urges him to check once more. Plus, he needs to actually put some of it on now. That too.

He crouches down and pulls his backpack around, trying not to focus on the cave. Instead, he mentally lists off each item as he finds it; helmet, gloves, boots, first aid kit, and a flashlight. Not much really, and he’s more than happy about that fact.

Makoto sighs, putting on each item he needs and putting away the rest. He’s careful about the gloves in particular as he puts them on; the helmet may have a light that could break if he’s not cautious, but Kyoko picked these out for him specifically before this trip. She has very strong opinions about them, and apparently these are the best pair for this sort of task that she could find. And they must be, they’re very comfortable! A perfect fit even, despite the fact that she gave them to him on the way here without any warning. He can’t imagine what they must have cost.

After checking for his caving suit and quickly realizing that he already put it on before making this trek, Makoto shoves his old shoes and socks into the back, hopping back up just as everyone else seems to be handed something.

“Now, before we head in, I want you all to get a good look at this map.” The guide says as they hand a sheet of paper to each group. “Even if this is a short trip, and we know this place like the backs of our hands, there’s a few turns here and there!”

Kyoko takes the map they’re given, Makoto peering at it from over her shoulder, having to crane his neck to get a good look. It doesn’t seem like too much, thankfully; there’s a meander or two, but none on the main path, thank the gods. He’d prefer not to have to do any crawling during this!

“It’s a straight shot, huh?” He comments absentmindedly, resting his chin on his wife’s shoulder.

She merely huffs, reaching back to thread her fingers through his hair. Despite the unsatisfying feeling of the gloves she’s wearing right now, he eagerly leans into the touch. “Yes. I’ve seen pictures of the cave as well, and it appears to not be very dangerous, unless one was actually being reckless. Should take about twenty minutes, at most.”

Makoto grins, wrapping his arms around Kyoko’s waist. She makes another sound, something like a noncommittal grunt, but doesn’t nudge him away as he expects. It’s nice. “And after this we go eat at Stellar Cafe.”

“We ate there last week.” She quickly reminds him, paying only a partial bit of attention to what those in front of them are saying. Something about the first aid kits, nothing very important.

“Too bad.” He gives her a quick peck on the cheek. “I like their food, and the service is nice.”

He can hear her stifle a laugh as she pulls away. “You like their curry. There’s perfectly good curry elsewhere.” She reaches into her own backpack, pulling out a walkie talkie. “Now get your radio out.”

“Don’t you think this is kind of overboard?” He pulls it out anyway of course, making sure his is connected to hers. “They never recommended these for caving, at least not on the sites I looked at.” Seems that most of the time people are expected to stay together anyway, if there’s more than one person at all. He’s surprised Kyoko decided to do this.

“Can’t ever be too safe.” Is all she says, before looking to the cave. “It’s time to go.”

Makoto follows her gaze, and sees the rest of the group already clambering over rocks as they enter the hole. “Ah.” He pauses, choking on nothing for a moment so fleeting he can’t even react. “Yeah.”

If he showed any hesitation, Kyoko does not acknowledge it. Instead, she walks ahead, and with heavy steps he pretends are eager, Makoto follows her into the dark.

------------------------------------

and that's it! quite a bit, and definitely not the best writing in the world, but im very proud of it so far! if you can then please rb this and give your thoughts, i do this for free but there's a reason i post my fics at all, which is validation <3 basically what keeps me going and able to continue writing at all, actually.

#danganronpa #makoto naegi #naegi makoto #kyoko kirigiri #kirigiri kyoko #naegiri #writing #fics #this has taken. a While #ofc this isnt the final product but this cuts off right before the horror parts start. which im very excited for #this fic has been a long time coming and im SO excited to do it <3 aaaaa

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oldfritz · 3 years

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I'm genuinely curious and don't want to start something! Just wanted to ask what you make of the 'Old Fritz might've been asexual' take, I don't know much about him and I feel you're one of the best people to ask esp since you lean towards 'he was probably queer in some way' too

Hey there! So, first off, don’t ever worry about me interpreting you asking me a question as starting something. As much as I love making dumb jokes about the guy, I love nothing more than doing this kind of stuff and defending or explaining my points. There’s two degrees I want to get over the next decade: first my JD and then my MA in Prussian history. I live for this stuff! Always have! Second off, I’m very sorry for not getting to this sooner. Things have been incredibly stressful for me for a variety of different reasons which have made answering your question, until now, rather difficult. Putting this under a cut because, holy shit, it got long!

My personal reasoning for why I think he’s bi (which, correct me if I’m wrong, I’m assuming is what you meant instead of ace and could be a different post entirely since some historians have tried to argue that) stems more to do with some of my lingering questions about the nature of his relationships with certain woman, rather than that of his relationships with men. To me and my modern, queer eye, Fritz’s relationships with men like Hans Hermann von Katte, Francisco Algarotti, Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf, and (much to my personal vexation) one Monsieur Voltaire are either outright homosexual/homoerotic in nature or very, very easily lend themselves to that interpretation rather than strictly romantic friendships (which Wikipedia does a fairly good overview of and, if you’re coming to me from AmRev perspective, uses Hamilton and Laurens’ relationship as a familiar example). While I’m avoiding those relationships in this ask, I’d be more than happy to elaborate upon one/all of them in a different one.

Before I go into the big pauses that Fritz’s relationships with Madame von Wreech and Countess Orzelska give me, I want to deny the use of Fritz’s wife as an example of Fritz’s attraction to woman. While this, admittedly, may sound odd, we have ample evidence of how turned off and repulsed Fritz found Elisabeth Christine. Before he had even met her, Fritz was complaining about how she was ‘not very pretty, speaks but little, and acts like a blockhead’ (Asprey, 87) and, later, admitted to Grumbkow his plan to ‘keep my word,...get married, but afterwards it will be a case of that is that, and goodbye, Madame, and fare thee well’ (Jones, 52). For Christ’s sake, the man pitied her knowing how his treatment would leave her as ‘one more unhappy princess in the world’! Which is little consolation when you remember he also referred to her with such romantic terms as ‘this unpleasant creature,’ ‘the abominable object of my desires,’ ‘the person,’ and claimed to have preferred to marry ‘the biggest whore in Berlin’ (Asprey, 87). And while we (fortunately? unfortunately?) know quite a bit about their sex life, Fritz largely regarded it as just another duty - to quote him, ‘I will only have the duty to fuck’ (Ibid, 87). And while Seckendorf heard - first, presumably from Count von der Schulenburg and, later on, Count Friedrich von Wartensleben, a close and intimate friend of the then-crown prince - that Fritz would ‘fuck and refuck’ Elisabeth Christine and that said act occurred in the afternoon, it still was out of a sense of obligation (Bely, 481-2). When reminded that if he wanted more money for frivolities, he’d need to produce an heir, Fritz bemoaned that he ‘cannot sleep with my wife out of desire, and when I do sleep with her, I do it out of duty rather than inclination’ (Clark, 50). All this in accumulation, as well as the myriad of other quotes and incidents I’ve left out, makes one wonder why his relationship with Elisabeth Christine is sometimes used by historians to prove any sort of heterosexual impulse in the man when she’s the woman with the weakest supports for that argument.

That being said, now we get to the women with a more muddled places in his romantic escapades, if you will. What exactly happened between Orzelska and Fritz during his trip with his father to Dresden in 1728? The main source for everything that occurred during this trip is Wilhelmina, who didn’t attend and without anything about this specific incident coming from Fritz or Friedrich Wilhelm I, make it rather hard to use as concrete, irrefutable proof. Now, if her recollections were contemporaneous - like coming from a diary or journal she kept at the time - that would be one thing. But it comes from her memoirs which, while a delightful read 10/10 recommend, are written decades after this trip took place and, memory being a finicky thing, can’t be taken to the bank. All those disclaimers, here’s the story as told by her:

‘One evening...,the King of Poland [note: Augustus II] insensibly led the King of Prussia to a very richly decorated room...The King of Prussia, delighted with what he saw, stopped to contemplate all its beauties, when [all of] a sudden a tapestry was rolled up, which procured him a very novel sight. It was a lovely female in a state of nudity [note: Countess Orzelska, the Polish king’s daughter], carelessly reclined on a couch. Her beauty excelled that of the finest pictures of Venus and the Graces; her body seemed of ivory, whiter than snow, and better shaped than that of the Venus de Medicis at Florence.

...Scarcely had the King cast his eyes on the fair one, than he turned about with indignation; and seeing my brother behind him, he rudely pushed him out of the room, and left it immediately after in a violent irritation against the trickery they had attempted to practice on him. ...In spite of the King’s vigilance, [Frederick] had had time to contemplate the Venus of the closet, who did not cause him so much horror as she had done to his father. (Wilhelmina’s Memoirs, vol. 1, 107-6)

Wilhelmina then goes on to claim Fritz had fallen ‘passionately in love’ with Orzelska and that the illness Fritz experienced upon returning home was simply being lovesick. Pinning the accuracy of this story is incredibly difficult because, again, we have only one source relayed decades after the fact and from two volumes of memoirs known to have inaccuracies. While I, personally, would love if he had had a tryst with Orzelska (who is such a badass in her own right and deserves more recognition than as a footnote in this guy’s story), there’s no one way to say with more than 30% confidence. I am inclined to believe something along these lines happened because if someone told me a story like this, lord knows I wouldn’t forget it for the rest of my life. And, with Wilhelmina being so close with her brother, it lends a bit more credence but as to the actual emotional or physical response Fritz had to it, well, without my time machine, I can’t and don’t want to say.

With Madame Eleonore-Louise von Wreech, things are a little more concrete. For starters, Fritz actually talked about her! In written correspondence that survived! We even have seven letters between the two of them that survived, which is a bigger win! As Blanning says, they’re ‘ardent but light in tone, ironic, almost flippant, and highly stylized’ (Blanning, 58). Their relationship was known to those close with Fritz at the time that Schulenberg felt compelled to visit and warn the crown prince against devoting himself to women because ‘the slight pleasures gained cause a million displeasures.’ Fritz’s response? To tell the poor guy that he may have ‘the gift of continence, but I assure you that I do not’ (Asprey, 83-4). Firtz even went so far as to send a letter to her mother, waxing poetic about Louise’s ‘beauty, her majestic air, her bearing, and her entire department.’ It’s worth noting that Louise eventually broke off the affair due to being bored by how he ‘loved [her] too much and often annoyed [her] with his clumsy love’ (Ibid, 84). Contemporaries, including Friedrich Wilhelm, believed Fritz had impregnated her with a daughter who her ‘cuckolded husband would refuse to recognize’ (Blanning, 58). Blanning is the only source I’ve seen dispute this due to this news coming from Seckendorf, who didn’t reveal how he came about this information; that Fritz and Madame von Wreech’s correspondence doesn’t indicate a physical relationship; and on the fact that she was not pregnant. I haven’t been able to find the birth dates or any sort of records for Louise’s two daughters to figure out where their conception could’ve been in the timeline and if it matches with the likely dates for the affair, but I also don’t have the resources Cambridge would afford Blanning. Either way, while the physical nature of the affair is in dispute, the emotional aspect certainly was there. Especially when taking into consideration the fact that she’s the woman Fritz was likely referring to in the 16 August 1737 letter to Voltaire where he claimed she had taught him how to love (and also inspired him to write poetry, which we shouldn’t be thankful for). Specifically, all these years later, he stated how ‘this little miracle of nature possessed every possible charm, together with good taste and delicacy. She sought to transfer these qualities to me. I succeeded well in love but poorly in poetry. Since that time I have very often been in love and have always been a poet’ (Fritz’s Oeuvres, vol. 21, 96).

All this to say, there’s a bit too much evidence of some degree of opposite-gender attraction in Fritz to completely write off the possibility that he could’ve been bisexual. While it’s undeniable he held a preference for men and that’s whose company he typically enjoyed, I still do find it interesting the two exceptions (one potential and the other with a fair degree of certainty) to this. And, while I would never want his attraction to men be minimized in favor of that to women, it still remains important to note to get the most comprehensive picture of the man.

#frederick the great #elisabeth christine #countess orzelska #madame von wreech #asks #anonymous

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azaffranist · 4 years

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Deleted lines of dialogue in Frozen 2

We know that F2’s plot suffered from last minute changes and even leaks that we got before the release contradict the final material, but that’s another can of worms for another post. What I wanna talk about in this post is something I happened to notice a few days ago while watching the Frozen 2 Outtakes video available with the Blu-ray version of the movie. Here’s a link to it. My apologies if there’s a post out there already talking about this, but I haven’t seen one so I thought I might as well give it a go.

Basically, the video is a recollection of funny moments that arose when the voice actors were recording their lines. But… I don’t know if this was deliberate or an oversight on Disney’s part, or if they didn’t care too much about it at the end of the day and released it anyways. The thing is, we can see the original dialogue they were supposed to record as tiny subtitles, and good god, there are tons of deleted lines, including an earlier version of Some Things Never Change, and some point to the existence of completely different scenes from the ones we got. Here’s what I mean:

I don’t recall ever coming across deleted lines for Frozen 1 apart from the famous “That’s no blizzard, that’s my sister”, so this is pretty interesting.

But in addition to that, while digging through some old files I found recorded lines of a Frozen 2 book that came out before release (Specifically on October 4th, 2019, when the Frozen Fan Fest was being held with the first released merch). That’s a long, long time ago and I don’t remember the name of the book, sadly, but you can listen to the recording I made right here. If someone does remember the name of the book that’d be really cool. I think the original recording was provided by Snow on the Arendelle Kingdom Discord server, so credits to her.

UPDATE: The book was found along with other interesting pieces of info! It’s called Frozen 2 Read-Along Storybook and CD. Credits to @lovewillthaw-j and their amazing detective work! Here it is.

What’s particularly interesting about this one is that no merch released on October 4 had the ending of the movie. Every book was cut off at the moment Anna received Elsa’s message in the cave, with no mention of Show Yourself or Elsa’s death for that matter. Now, we don’t know if they were trying not to spoil the movie, or if they legitimately didn’t have a final ending at the time the books were made. Knowing how… messy Frozen 2’s development was, I think we can all sort of agree it was the latter.

Because of this, there is some really intriguing stuff. Nods to scenes that aren’t in the final movie, shameless hints to Elsa’s permanent death, events happening in a different order… I don’t know if these lines were recorded only for the book, but I doubt they were, because many of those lines are actually in the movie or are referenced in books and some have really slight modifications like changes in tone of voice. I guess we’ll never Find The Truth™, but we can analyze these lines too because they can give us an idea of what earlier versions of the movie were like.

So let’s look at them one by one. Looooong post ahead.

Frozen 2 Outtakes Video

“Should have left it to me. Love you too. You blew it Kristoff. Oh. I’m alone. It’s fine.” – Kristoff/Sven

This one definitely happens during Kristoff’s first proposal attempt. Before this line, Anna says, “She couldn’t act out ice?” and we can assume Kristoff absent mindedly responds with “Should have left it to me”. That makes sense, considering he delivers ice for a living and ice is his life. Then we got “Love you too”, which Kristoff says in the final movie, but then we got Sven dialogue as he tells him “You blew it, Kristoff.” “Oh, I’m alone,” is what would go before he finally says, “It’s fine.” The reason the dialogue is all mixed up is because Johnathan Groff is the one recording the lines and he does both Kristoff and Sven’s voices (well, technically, Kristoff).

_______

“Hey. What the—What is this? Hang onto me. What’s happening? Run. The mist is rising. We are being pushed by the…” – Kristoff

We can tell this happens when the Arendellian gang was crossing the mist wall for the first time. The scene was evidently going to be longer and more chaotic than what we actually got. Apparently they run and that would’ve been pretty cool.

_______

“The winds are restless. Like how I sometimes feel in the fall. But I’m not ready. I love these days, I’m grateful for them all.” – Elsa (Alternate Some Things Never Change)

Now this is what I call a quality deleted line. I recommend you guys watch the video to hear the little part that Idina sings to have an idea what Elsa’s part in Some Things Never Change was originally going to be like. Definitely a bit sadder than what we got. I think this line gives the idea that Elsa wasn’t feeling too comfy in Arendelle even though she enjoyed the company of her family immensely, or if we go with the idea that fall represents change, Elsa is feeling restless in the face of change. She’s not ready to ‘change’ and wants to keep enjoying her days in Arendelle. She can’t let them go. How ironic. Interpret it as you want!

_______

“I’d freeze this moment if I could find a way…” – Elsa (Alternate Some Things Never Change)

Same scene. Sadder atmosphere for her part of the song. It’s a shame we don’t know what goes next.

_______

“Water drowns with a stallion’s might.” – Elsa

Wowowowowow. Now this is interesting, because I have no idea where to place this line of dialogue meaning there might’ve been another scene foreshadowing the Nokk. In the final movie, the only moment we see the Nokk is during When I Am Older and it was very brief and played for laughs. But this line gives the idea that the existence of an angry murderous water horse was going to be mentioned earlier on. Now I have a lot of ideas as to what she might’ve referred to (maybe that’s just a comparison she made on the fly and didn’t know the water spirit was a horse? Maybe it’s like a riddle she solved to know what the water spirit was?) but to be honest I think there’s no way to know. Fun to theorize, though.

Also, total confirmation the Nokk is a male!

_______

“It’s magic. It’s amazing. There’s a voice. I need to follow it.” – Elsa

This line probably happened when they visited Pabbie and evacuated Arendelle. A different take on how she explained to Anna why she wanted to go on the journey. Honestly, I prefer what we actually got. She sounds quite desperate and hypnotized in this one. VOICE. I HEAR. MUST FOLLOW. I don’t know what you guys think. The actual explanation in the final movie is not great either but I prefer it.

_______

“Hey Elsa. It’s your mom. Remember, mothers are always right. Now, be who you are!” – Olaf (Longer Post Credits Scene)

We were robbed. This line and another one points to a longer post credits scene. I suspect they weren’t able to include it because of time constraints, because c’mon, this is hilarious. An animator on Instagram said that they were not able to model the inside of Elsa’s ice palace for the post credits scene because they ran out of time, so they used Ahtohallan pillars and changed the lighting so that it gave the ‘feel’ of the ice palace. I’m sorry I can’t provide a link right now because I don’t remember who the animator was, but if I find it again or someone else does I’ll update this.

UPDATE: The Instagram comment in particular was found! Thanks to @super-mam-te-moc for the screenshot.

Okay, kind of got derailed there. They didn’t have enough time to finish the post credits scene and that’s the only coherent answer I can find as to why this was deleted.

_______

“They’re all looking at us, aren’t they? Okay, got any advice? How do I free the forest?” – Elsa

Very similar to what’s in the movie but here Elsa asks Bruni if he knows how she can free the forest. The fact that Elsa asks a little cute salamander this… kind of gives the idea that Elsa was completely clueless, same as the rest of the gang, and the rest of the writers. Jkjk!

_______

“Emotional and slightly haunting memory of Mother? Is that you?” – Olaf (Longer Post Credits Scene)

Same as above. We were robbed. Twice.

______________________________

Unused Recorded Lines from Frozen 2 Book

“Teeth? Oh. Pillow fort! Disturbed! Aw, c’mon, you definitely look disturbed!” – Anna

Shorter or summarized charades scene. Anna never mentions a pillow fort in the final movie.

_______

“I know that rumble.” – Kristoff

This probably goes when Pabbie and the trolls appeared at the evacuation place. Seems like in an earlier version, there was more buildup before the appearance of the trolls. Kristoff hears the rumble of the rocks before anything else. Deleted scenes seen in trailers also point to a slightly different ‘troll appearance’ scene.

_______

“I won’t leave her side.” – Anna

During Pabbie’s visit. We know thanks to trailers Anna’s little talk with Pabbie changed a bit. Here Anna displays her worry for Elsa even more.

Here’s a comparison between the trailer:

And the final movie:

What’s particularly interesting about this is that a later point in the movie, during Kristoff’s third failed proposal, Anna suddenly remembers Elsa and runs off hurriedly saying, “I swore I wouldn’t leave her side”. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. She never explicitly says so in the final movie, but it seems like she did in an earlier version.

_______

“We’ll fix it together. / Together. / Together.” – Anna, Kristoff and Olaf respectively

Probably as they were going to go on the journey, considering the lines are said chronologically? They discovered the power of teamwork. Weird Elsa doesn’t say ‘together’. Maybe they left it out because, coughcoughtheydidn’tfixanythingtogether.

_______

“Uhm, I sense no way in, but this is fun nonetheless.” – Olaf

Definitely during the arrival at the mist wall. Olaf doesn’t say anything as he bounces off in the final movie.

_______

“Hah! It let us in, but it clearly does not wanna let us out.” – Olaf

Same as above. Anna is the one who says they’re trapped in the final version.

_______

“Your father was… / King Agnarr of Arendelle.” – Mattias, Elsa, respectively

In the final version Mattias immediately says “Agnarr”, while here Elsa finishes his words after his pause. To be honest, it makes more sense in the final version, considering Mattias would remember Agnarr’s name without a doubt.

_______

“I’m fine. I just… actually, I’m starving.” – Anna

This probably goes right after the “Don’t Run Into Fire” argument. I didn’t think much of this line at first but it’s actually really interesting, because in the final movie, right after Elsa and Anna’s argument, Elsa places Iduna’s scarf on Anna’s shoulders and with this perfect timing they find out she was Northuldra, leading to the whole “Vuelie” scene. But here, there’s no comforting with scarf, and it seems like this scene leads to the one after Vuelie in the final movie, with Anna eating as she talks to Mattias, and Elsa and Honeymaren talking about the spirits.

Which means… that in an earlier version, the discovery of Iduna being Northuldra was probably going to happen later on. Pretty crazy, right?

_______

“If I lost her… I think I’d lose myself.” – Anna

All right. I think that this line is one of the most important ones. Thanks to books having this line in them we can pinpoint exactly when Anna utters it: expectedly, when she was talking with Mattias. The delivery of this line is also particularly heartbreaking, so I recommend you guys hear the audio file.

I don’t wanna ramble too much but there’s a lot to be said about this line. But yes, I’ll actually end up rambling. Warning.

Along with “I won’t leave her side”, it seems like earlier versions of the movie showed Anna being even more anxious and worried about Elsa’s wellbeing. As we know, Anna and Mattias were talking about ‘doing the next right thing’, and being prepared when life throws you down a new path. This is obvious foreshadowing to The Next Right Thing. But why were these two cut? Don’t they deepen Anna’s character and show just how deathly scared this whole adventure had her?

Well, here’s some speculation. These two lines are obviously foreshadowing Elsa’s death. The thing is, there exists the likelihood that at the times these lines were written and recorded, there was no such thing as Elsa’s revival. We’ve known for a long time that Elsa was going to die for real in Frozen 2, but test audiences were left traumatized and probably in need of PTSD treatment, hating it so much that the ending and everything that came with it was rewritten around June. Including, I speculate, these two lines which blatantly foreshadow Elsa’s big oof.

There’s not much foreshadowing to Elsa’s death in the final version. That’s because it was a minor thing. She died before the climax of the movie and her death scene didn’t feel final nor dramatic enough to fool the audience and make them believe she was really, really, won’t-breathe-ever-again kind of dead. Some watchers didn’t even realize she died, because the scene was not supposed to feel like her end. Not even the score, Ghosts of Arendelle Past, has a final feeling to it. It just kind of ends there in an ominous tone and they stress the fact that she sent an important ice message before freezing, giving hope of events resolving themselves.

But these two lines do foreshadow of a terrifying event. One that’s not minor nor temporary. These two lines, probably among others we’ll never find out about, and Anna’s worried sick attitude in earlier versions, give more weight to Elsa’s death, Elsa’s permanent death, and ultimately, The Next Right Thing.

Or maybe not and I’m wrong and there was no need for a 4 paragraph long overanalysis of two lines. Maybe they just deleted them just cause. Who knows the ways of writers…

_______

“All this time… the four spirits. Right there.” – Elsa

Maybe this goes during Honeymaren’s talk about the spirits? Right there, meaning, they were all along depicted in Iduna’s scarf and nobody in Arendelle realized? We’ll never know.

_______

“You mean like a voice?” – Elsa

Probably happened when Honeymaren was talking about the fifth spirit crying out the day the forest fell.

_______

“She made it across the sea.” – Anna

“I know why the spirits evacuated Arendelle.” – Anna

“Olaf, I know how to free the forest.” – Anna

Okay, I’m gonna talk about these three at the same time because it’s the same scene. Obviously, these lines of dialogue take place in the cave as Anna receives Elsa’s message, right before The Next Right Thing. We know that for sure because The Next Right Thing was one of the first Frozen 2 songs to be written and the writers knew that’s where they wanted the story to go. This seems like a pretty different setup, but to be honest, it feels like a placeholder. Anna doesn’t even react to the fact that there was a statue of grandpa slicing an innocent man in two right in front of her which just feels weird.

And all in all, the lines just don’t have the sadness of the final version. Anna doesn’t sound nearly as disappointed and her voice doesn’t lower that much. She sort of sounds determined in the last line! So determined to wreck her home to pieces with a gigantic flood… ahaha Anna…

______________________________

Okay, it was pretty fun to overanalyze all 23 deleted lines that I managed to find. There are even more deleted goodies out there thanks to the merch, but we’re gonna leave that for another moment.

There’s no doubt that Frozen 2′s development had plenty of problems along the way and I think it’s pretty interesting to learn what it could’ve been and could’ve had. These lines are just the tip of the iceberg and I’m more than interested to know what exactly the test audiences saw in those infamous test screenings...

______________________________

UPDATE: More deleted stuff!

@theupsidedownpyramid collected more deleted lines found in the trailers right here!

@yumeka36 made a really interesting analysis of the Frozen 2 Novelization with even more deleted lines and scenes here!

#frozen 2 #frozen #elsa #anna #kristoff #olaf #sven #frozen 2 deleted scenes #frozen 2 deleted dialogue #frozen 2 outtakes

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crimsonheart01 · 4 years

Text

Got Me Thinking This Might Be Love (Coco x OC/Reader)

I was feeling some kinda way last night and this came out of it. Don’t @ me if you find yourself pregnant after reading.

I highly recommend you play the song on repeat as you read. Really sets the mood.

Playlist: Between Us (feat. Snoh Aalegra) - dvsn

Word Count: 4,160

Warning: Swearing and explicit themes. In other words, steamy, hot, baby making type of sex

She was leaning into the counter. Gazing over her bowl of cereal at the TV in her living room. She wasn’t really paying attention to it. She had her phone tipped down in her other hand, her best friend berating her through a video chat.

She rolled her eyes, “I’m fine, bored but fine.”

“See girl, this is why you should be getting dressed to come out with us.”

She shook her head at that.

“Don’t you dare shake your head at me. It’s been two weeks, babes. He ain’t coming back.”

She groaned and her friend booked the slouch in your shoulders.

“If he hasn’t called, texted or dropped by after that fight, you gotta come to terms with the result.”

She had a point. The pre-going on a run argument had everything falling apart. It had been a bad day that only got worse. She wasn’t expecting to ever see him again. Especially considering he’d dropped off the face of the planet.

“You need to get your back blown out.” Her friend clapped her hands between each word to emphasize her point.

She laughed. Of course, that was the main concern. The group chat was always popping when she mentioned he was around. They loved hearing the recollections of what him and her got up too. Two weeks without seeing or hearing from him had all them worried about her satisfaction. She got the impression that the whole group of them was rooting for them in some strange star-crossed lovers kind of way. It amused her but she also knew that no matter what, the girls would always have her back. Thankfully, she didn’t actually slander him when they got into their fight. So they knew she didn’t have hard feelings about it. She was more disappointed that it was over more than anything.

She rolled her eyes, begrudging to admit that they were right. She’d been holed up at home all this time. Only going to work and shopping for the essentials like food. She wasn’t waiting for him to come around. She figured it was done and gone. Both of them having said some inflammatory things to each other. She wasn’t interested in engaging with anyone besides the group and even that was at an all time low.

“Alright yeah, I need good session, something to make me forget my own name but tonight’s not the night.” She licked her lips, “It’s already almost midnight. I don’t have any time to go through the routine. Next weekend.” She promised.

She zoned out after that. Her friend was talking but she wasn’t listening. She was tired. Mentally. She’d been stressing about how careless she’d been with her words towards him. How inconsiderate she’d been. He hadn’t been any better. He was equally as mean to her. Spouting hurtful comments right back at her. However, it had been the first time either of them had ever spoken about the situation between them. The first time either of them had bothered to speak on the expectations they had for their state of affairs.

They weren’t a secret. His hermanos knew she existed. He wasn’t hiding her. Though, he made it clear that what they had wasn’t heading in the direction she assumed. That was partly her fault though. She got caught up. For building a set of expectations around them without making her intent clear. Neither of them properly communicating about what it was they really wanted. She sighed to herself. She needed to go to bed. Stop thinking for a while.

~(MMC)~

He pulled up in the beat up Chevy, letting it idle at the curb. He was exhausted. A week and a half in Vegas and then down into Mexico for another few days. He wanted rest. Comfort. Somewhere that was better than home. He hadn’t consciously made the decision to drive here. He didn’t even know if he’d bother going up. All he knew was that when he recognized the diversion on the route he was driving, he wanted to see her.

He noted the darkness of her apartment but the light from her kitchen shone. He double checked the clock, noting the late hour. This wouldn’t have been the first time he showed up this late. However, he never left her hanging for more than a day or two. He’d dropped off the face of the Earth for two weeks. He knew what he was doing when he did it. He pulled out a cigarette, bowing forward to light it.

He kept his head ducked down as he watched the shadows move back and forth in the illuminated window. He wondered what she was doing. What she’d been doing. He narrowed his eyes, the word who popping into his mind. He exhaled, his gaze never waving and mentally shook the jealousy that rose away.

He knew he had no claim on her. Not after the things he’d said. He figured she’d slam the door in his face the second she saw him. He pulled the smoke from his mouth, leaning on the steering wheel and keeping a weather eye on the shadows in her apartment as they moved. From what he could tell, she was alone. That soothed him somewhat. Even when it shouldn’t. He shouldn’t care. He shouldn’t have even pulled up.

He hung his hand out the opened window and flicked the ashes off his cigarette. He leaned back in the seat, cutting off his view of her apartment. He stared out the windshield, contemplating his best course of action. If he went up there, she was going to expect him to talk to her. She’d want to discuss their prior argument. He didn’t want too. He wanted to pick up from where they left off before that. Wipe the record clean and never look back.

He blinked, knowing that was never going to happen. He missed her. As much as he hated admitting to that. It was easier if he ignored how her presence made him feel. She helped keep the demons at bay. Helped him chase away the intruding thoughts. He counted backwards, trying to figure out where and when things started to morph into something different between them. He shook his head, irritated over it. It didn’t matter. In the end he still felt a way and there was no turning that around.

He couldn’t leave it alone. Even if they ended up in another shouting match, he needed to see her. For a moment in the least. If she kicked him to the curb, he’d understand. He was poison. Him coming back after everything was proof of that. He killed the engine. His mind made up.

It didn’t take him long to get access to the building and taking the stairs two at a time. He wasn’t in a rush but the faster he got there, and the faster she denied him, the faster all of this would be over. Give him a chance to tell her how horrible he was and then be on his way.

He reached her door, hesitating as he looked at it. After a long couple of moments, standing in silence, he reached his fist to knock. When he touched the door, it pushed backwards. He creased his eyebrows looking at, suspicious that she had seen him standing there and opened the door. He waited another moment but when it didn’t open further he flattened his hand against it and pushed.

He lifted his hand to grip the top of his piece, hidden inside his kutte as he surveyed the hallway. He listened intently and could hear her speaking and a tinny voice accompanying hers. He took quiet steps forward, entering the main living room and kitchen and settled as he spotted her silhouette leaning against the counter and holding her phone up to her face. He exhaled and dropped his hand away from his gun.

He leaned against the door frame as she hadn’t obviously heard him enter. There was a small voice of concern in the back of his mind. One that was telling him to implore her to be more careful but he was sidetracked. The sight of her athletic shorts riding up her thighs at the angle she was leaned over, had him swallowing. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt, that was dangerously close to hiding the fact that she had shorts on in the first place. His fingers twitched at his sides and he lifted his arms to cross them over his chest. Keep them pressed down to stop himself from grabbing her.

His gaze roved over her legs, up her torso and down her arms. Her hair was in the messiest updo he’d ever seen and he liked it. It gave off a very particular kind of vibe. A vibe he’d drilled into her more than once. He stopped that train of thought abruptly, knowing that it would be short-lived as she was not about to take up with him again. Not after the things he said to her.

He refocused his attention on the set of her shoulders and listened in on her conversation. His eyebrows shot up at the topic of discussion. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one with the idea on his mind. He let a few visuals seep into his mind’s eye. Recalling a few of their past exploits. He was pulled out of his session of reminiscing when she admitted to wanting it too. His eyes flicked back over to her. Thankfully, he knew how to aide in that particular problem of hers.

“I think I can help with that.” He said, his voice low and carrying over the space between them.

~(MMC)~

She screeched, jumping up and pulling her hands in towards her. She spun on her heel to stare at him in astonishment. She had her phone cradled to her chest and could hear her friend shrieking to tell what was going on. She swallowed, her heart in her throat and struggled for words. Where the hell had he come from. Appearing out of nowhere.

She shook her head at him, waving a hand out in a vague gesture, “How did you get in here?”

“Door was open.” He shrugged, giving her that coy crooked smirk of his.

Her mouth dropped open in annoyed shock. She relaxed her shoulders down and gave him a deadpanned, not at all amused expression. She booked the sarcasm and fought to keep up the annoyed vibe she was giving him. Who did he think he was? Sneaking into her apartment in the middle of the night? Eavesdropping on her conversations? No explanation for where he’d been? No, nothing at all. Only a flimsy promise of giving her an orgasm. Which, if she was being honest, she could do herself. She didn’t need his help. No matter how good he happened to be at it.

His eyes dropped to her phone and back up to hers, his smirk widening. He was clearly still listening to the conversation, even when she wasn’t. Her friend continued the holler through the phone and she groaned before lifting it away from her chest to her face again.

“I’m good. It’s good. It’s just Coco.” She explained, flipping the camera around to flash a view of him for a second and then back to her face.

She nearly burst out laughing at her friends sudden 180 in attitude. She was now smirking at her on the screen and wagging her eyebrows theatrically. She made a show of pointing at her wrist to note the time and then laughed out loud. “I better get a follow up call tomorrow. I want details.” Then she shouted even louder, wanting to make sure she was heard, “Don’t leave her wanting, Coco!”

Her mouth dropped open and she ended the call swiftly before dropping it down on the counter, screen down. She was going to make her girl wait an extra day for that little outburst. She swore they were the worst. For whatever reason they were all cheerleaders for her and Coco. Even when they were trying to get her to go out and bang a random to blow of steam from their breakup. If you could even call it that. He wasn’t even her boyfriend. One of the glaring points he drove home two weeks ago.

She crossed her arms over her chest, and poked her hip out as she stared at him. Waiting for an explanation. An apology, even. Something to get them started but she knew she was never going to get it. However, it was worth putting up the front. A front that she wouldn’t immediately take him back at the mere sight of him. She groaned internally, annoyed at herself. His presence shouldn’t have this much of an effect on her.

~(MMC)~

“I missed you, baby.” He spoke quietly as he looked her legs up and down.

She fought the shudder rolling up her spine as he used the nickname and scoffed, “Yeah? Good.” He didn’t respond. All he did was continue letting his eyes wander, briefly meeting hers again. She shook her head and unfurled one hand to wave him away, “If that’s all, you can leave.”

She watched as he arched one eyebrow at her response. She cursed herself. Knowing that he loved it when she gave him attitude. When she dismissed him. His smirk widened, his teeth showing before he pulled his expression down into a mock pout of hurt. She pursed her lips together and made an obvious show of shaking her head slowly. She kept up the front of being unamused. Internally she was a mess. She was ready to rip all his clothes off right there, with her front door half open behind him.

All she could think about was how well he know how to use that mouth. The smirk wasn’t the only thing he was an expert at. Her eyes tracked the expression he was sporting and they both knew the effect he was having on her.

“Let me make it up to you,” He murmured, taking one step towards her. “Let me show you how sorry I am.”

That did it. Her emotions pooled and she was ready to melt into the floor. He was skirting the whole issue, but he was giving her some of the power. He was admitting to being wrong at some point. She ground her teeth together, tightening her arms across her chest. She watched the slow, deliberate steps he took towards, stopping less than an inch away from her.

His head leaned in next to her face and he loomed in her personal space, looking down at her out of the corner of his eyes. She glanced up at him, tilting her chin up to regard him fully. His smirk spread into a wide grin as he watched the conflict in her expression. She should say no. They both knew it. But, she wasn’t going too. She didn’t want too. Boyfriend or not. Fight or not. He knew her body, better than anyone else before him.

“C’mon babe,” He coaxed, reaching out and ghosting his fingertips along the outside of her arm.

She shivered, visibly this time. He bowed in further, pressing a hot kiss to the side of her neck. She sighed, giving in. She uncrossed her arms, bringing them up to grip the collar of his flannel shirt. He pulled back, catching her gaze in his. Heat coursed through both their eyes and she slid one hand behind his neck and flexed her grip around it. She yanked him forward, tilting her face up to meet his lips. Capturing him in an intense reunion.

She nipped at his lower lip and he growled in delight. He broke their kiss to run the tip of his nose along her jaw. His teeth grazing her ear. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back with a sigh. He knew every spot that elicited a response from her and he played each one of them. Her knees went weak and she curled her hands into fists into the front of his shirt.

~(MMC)~

Both of them stumbling over each other as they made their way to their next destination. Their clothes being stripped off in a blur of whispered promises, and lips connecting with various body parts. The next thing she knew they were both naked and in her room. She was laying back on her bed as he crawled up from the bottom. His hands lined her sides, flipping her over onto her front as his knee knocked hers apart. She gasped as his hands continued upwards and skimmed the outside of her breasts. Using his thumbs, he traced the edge of her nipples.

His hands ran back down her body, cupping her hips. She lifted her lower half, giving him room. His fingers hooked into the fold between her hips and thighs and tugged her body up farther. He smoothed one hand over her side and then down the length of her back and pressed down on her shoulder, forcing her top half into the mattress. She turned her face, cheek lined against the sheets and let out a breath at his firm hold on her.

He used his other hand to run along her center, pausing only to circle her clit lazily. She could feel his breath cascading across her lower back. She dipped her hips, causing her bottom to raise higher. She heard his quiet chuckle. He responded to her reaction by gliding one finger through her, sinking in when he felt how ready she was. She let out a tiny moan as his fingers entered her. Every touch, kiss and breath between them had her wetter than she would’ve been if she’d done this alone.

He slid his finger out, not wanting to waste any time. He lined himself up against her and taking his time, pushed into her. He inched his way in. Gradually, until he bottomed out entirely. She let out a breathless gasp at the feeling. Tilting her body back into him, encouraging him to keep going. He began a slow grind. A steady in and out. His hand firm on her shoulder to hold her down. She rolled her hips back into each one of his deep, slow thrusts.

She ground her teeth together at the pace he set. She wanted more. The torture of him taking his sweet time having her in throws. She had no control over the moans escaping from the back of her throat. She tried to speed up the momentum, but he clutched at her hip, steadying her.

“Slow down, querida,” He rumbled, the impact of their motions coursing through him. He caught the bottoms strands of her hair between his fingers and tugged, “I gotchu.”

She groaned in frustration and pleasure as he pulled back and then slammed back into her. She mewled, arching her entire lower half into him. She heard the grunting chuckle he elicited. Telling her he was feeling the same as her, even if he was amused by it. He continued with his leisurely pace. Keeping the snap out of his hips, but entering her in a way that had himself buried in her.

She loved it. He knew how to shift just so to have her feeling every last inch of him as he moved in and out. Filling her up so that he ran along the sides of her walls in the most epic way. She cried out, begging him to go faster. Or harder. Or something but he never let up. Never lost control.

He brought her to the edge, reading each one of her movements. Listening to the sound of her breathing. Knowing exactly how close she was. When she was panting, trying to get the words out. He pulled out, resting his cheek on the middle of her back. She whined at the lost of every sensation and he pacified her with open mouth kisses along her shoulder blades.

“Paciencia bebé.” He murmured against her skin, sending goosebumps down her spine.

After another long moment, he picked up from where they left off. He rocked every one of his emotions into each of his thrusts. Everything he appreciated about her fuelling his motions. Each time she felt herself getting closer to her release, he’d immediately pull back and out, to leave her a panting mess. He was doing it deliberately and it was driving her crazy. It took her up until the third time he pulled out to realize what he was really doing. He was edging her. Her eyes rolled back as she threw back into him, only to have him dodge her.

“Coco,” She growled against the sheets.

He let out a huffed laugh, knowing exactly what she was feeling as he was doing the same thing to himself. “Si baby? Dime que quieres.”

He knew what she wanted. He knew what he wanted. After several times of being on the brink, he was ready to let go. Give up the pace. Take her fast and hard.

“I want you to fuck me.” She demanded, her voice coming out breathless but her tone clear in its aggression.

He grinned, “I gotchu.” He repeated the statement from earlier and slammed into her harshly.

She cried out as he started up a rough tempo. Her breathing came out erratically. He started losing his rhythm. Knowing he was close to losing everything, he knew he needed to give her what she wanted. He abruptly pushed down on her lower back, twisting her hips and hooking one of her legs around his middle while still holding her face down with a strong hand on her shoulders. He thrust into at the new angle and she screamed. Actually screamed. He smirked at her reaction, refusing to stop the rough pace he’d picked up.

She came undone. Crying out her pleasure for everyone to hear. He hit every sensitive spot inside her. Her body shook as he coaxed her orgasm out. It was wild and explosive. Her hair was mussed in her face, and she panted, feeling the sweat drip down her temple. Tears formed as he continued to hit from his position, working through his own release. The over stimulation both painful and satisfying. She didn’t want him to stop. She threw back, helping him work through to his own arrival. He let out a guttural grunt, ripping her forward and squeezing his forearm around the front of her abdomen and keep her firmly in place as he came.

He let out a string of Spanish curses. All of them filthy and had her laughing breathlessly into to the blankets. He dropped his forehead against her lower back, a slow grin forming on his mouth. He held her close for another moment, waiting until they both came down from their highs. Pulling back, he turned and collapsed into the pillows next to her.

She stretched out and sighed before flipping over onto her back. They were silent for a little bit. Both trying to ease their breathing. She glanced around the room and smiled at the state it was in. Their clothes had been tossed in every direction. The only thing that was properly set down was his kutte. It was hanging on her vanity chair. Pristine and smooth.

She rolled over, tossing a leg over one of his and cradling her pillow comfortably under her head. She wanted this. Him. In whatever way he could manage. It wasn’t going to be easy, and there was a lot of hurt they were going to have to work through, but she was willing. She closed her eyes, letting the come down engulf her. Relax her.

“We still need to talk.” She murmured.

He rolled his head in her direction. He watched as she opened her eyes and looked up into his. Their gazes held within each other’s and steady.

He gave her a nod, “I know.”

Their eye contact remained unwavering. Her tone didn’t give anything away but judging by her expression, she was still here for him. He swallowed, his stomach flipping at that thought. She was still willing to push through for him. With him. He inhaled, pushing down on his conflicting emotions of her silent revelation and dipped his arm behind her neck, around her shoulder. He pulled her and the pillow closer to him, letting her get settled into his embrace.

There wasn’t a rush to figure everything out right now. Right now, he had her. In his arms. That’s what mattered. The present. The quiet buzz they were both experiencing was enough to keep up them sated with the circumstances. The only way they were going to succeed was to take it one day at a time. They’d see what tomorrow brought them.

#coco cruz x reader #coco cruz imagine #johnny coco cruz #coco cruz imagines #johnny coco cruz imagines #johnny coco cruz imagine #mayans mc #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc imagines

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