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#I WANT TO WORK ON MY OCS AND HAVE THE MOTIVATION BUT MY BRAIN IS ROOTED IN REPLAYING THOSE SCENES OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN
glass-oranges · 1 month
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What if I connected to a very unstable chassis then tried to kill you and your girlfriend wouldn't that be fun
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Gonna be a while before I think I'll be drawing much beyond some planned doodles I said I'd do to a couple close friends, but... I'm curious, what FNaF AU drawings types from me sound more interesting..?
A random poll yes, but I'm curious, and ngl, I think I'm approaching one of those not so great "Spells" where I'm losing confidence in the things I'm well, supposed to be doing for fun. ^^;
#insomniac hyena rambles#fnaf: a wound left bleeding au#I'm still gonna do my best to finish AWLB#just having some anxiety/depression type feels again#not feeling confident cuz my brain likes to say if I'm not making “professional level” content I'm doing bad#+ Lost like. near all ability to work on OC type things without anxiety semi recently. so sorta. having a lot of anxiety over Stardrop and-#another OC-type character I had planned for part 2#sorry for rambling in the tags. still writing part 2 when I have time/motivation#around 160ish pages in now. so that's pretty nice I think#chapters are a lot longer than early part 1 chapters so far too. kinda neat#to any creatives out there. i know easier said than done#but please. do what you can not to let the world rip your confidence in your work away from you#dont rewire your characters and stories just to please others#(I mean this within reason though. this is the internet so I feel the need to clarify. if your work is genuinely made to be offensive. then#yea. reconsider.)#but generally speaking! if your story wasn't meant to have x themes/characters/etc#or a character or thing wasn't meant to go x-way or do x-thing. and you don't want them to. don't cave just cuz someone else out there want#it to be that way. don't sell your own ideas and thoughts short just to be a people pleaser#it wears you down a lot eventually and saps confidence#Idk im ramblin. point is! Enjoy what you do. if it makes you happy. then hold onto it! Goodness knows everyone needs those bits of happines#Uhhh I think that's all my tired morning thoughts lol#oh ! this isn't me saying yall cant still yeet ideas or theories or such at me!#just that unless I really like the idea. and can fit it into what I've already planned#chances are. im gonna try real hard not to cave and add it just cuz i was asked to#trying. real hard to stop being an overly people pleasing person. its caused me more harm than good in life I think#I can be nice without destroying myself lol
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erythristicbones · 1 year
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i don't feel like copying what i wrote, so take some screenshots of me having brainworms for the JDK villains again. primarily spurred by me going "hey wouldn't Nisha and Artemis and Apollo make cool rockstars instead"
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#i really need to hurry up and finish organizing my writing blog so i can start posting these there instead#anyways i feel like this finally nails EXACTLY the kind of vibes that i wanted for the Acolytes and Solanace#and tbh.....even if i cant find a way to work JDK's original curse themed plot with these ideas#i feel like it would absolutely be worth changing the stories/motivations for the POV trio to fit this new set of ideas#kinda adds a lot more to the villains as a whole#and also sets it apart from a lot of my other stories that revolve around 'essentially a cult' as an opposing force#if i decide to be the most self indulgent that i possibly could be#i might even consider the idea of making it a story ABOUT Solanace and the acolytes in the POV sense#theyd still obviously be villains but the protags of the story instead of the antags#at which point jonas/lydia/hayes would have to be majorly reworked to then fit into the antagonist roles#could also theoretically work with the idea of jonas AND nisha being POVs#so the reader would be getting insight to the good guys and the villains at the same time#JDK(which STILL needs a better placeholder title) really is a story that ive had to majorly change multiple times#most of my stories i have the general idea + genre settled before anything else#but this one is more character driven#i have two groups of OCs ive thought about in depth and i just havent been able to build the story around them in the right way yet#i think once i can Actually get my brain focused long enough to draw#i wanna doodle more rockstar inspired designs/themes for nisha/artie/apollo#see if the idea continues to tickle the brainworms in such a great way + then have time to make polished refs b4 artfight#bc i really love my overdramatic artsy villains okay. i think they deserve to be extra as fuck ya know?#who doesnt love a villain whose primary goal is to put on a show and THEN to do the evil things?
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Nobody:
My brain: Now that THAT shit show (S4 special) is over, wanna work on OCs anyone?
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cerbreus · 1 year
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that artist feeling where you have so many other things you SHOULD be doing and so many other things of your own that you really, really wish you had the motivation to work on but all that gets you going is just... other ppl’s ocs.....
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munch-mumbles · 6 months
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kj post five hundred thousand lamenting the loss of my passion for drawing because its starting to feel like its never coming back
#it shouldnt feel like a chore! i miss when it was fun!!!!#as much as i try not to care about my art posts flopping because i know attention shouldnt be my motivator for drawing#it does still make me a little sad so now my brain struggles to want to create anything#like i WANT to create desperately desperately but i sit down to draw and just want to go to bed#the tiredness has been permeating my life ive become extremely socially isolated#which loops around to making me even more bored because im just in my own head all day and theres not even anything in here#my attention span has degraded to the point that i literally have to force myself to try and think about my own ocs most of the time#which doesnt even work because within two seconds i get distracted by being frustrated i have to force it#gruhhhhh . grouhhhh#i miss when mlad was fresh and it was so fun and exciting and fulfilling to work on it#now even though i still love it and want to work on it it just keeps slipping between my fingers#GRUHHH. i want to draw i want to write i want to talk to people but i Cant#i need to join another server or something because after my last Really bad mental period i isolated myself a lot lot lot. and ive been too#scared to go back to my old spot and now i very rarely talk to more than one person a day (excluding work)#im lonely and im too exhausted to be interesting enough to fix it!#im pretty sure 80% of my problems could be fixed with like. adhd medication#but im too tired and lazy and tired to start the road to getting it#sorry i keep coming back to append on more tags but last thought i prommy. i just miss when things could actually hold my attention#i miss having the motivation to do minicomics for lore drops i miss being so excited about aus with friends i would do multiple sketches a#day i miss being so gripped by individual scenes between characters i would take the time to write a multi page minific about it#why cant my brain HOLD ANYTHING ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#JUST PAY ATTENTION :(#i need a new hyperfixation or im going to do something drastic.
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doodlekoo · 11 months
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OUCH | pjm
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Summary: you hurt your foot and Jimin thinks your gonna die
Pairing: boyfriend!jimin x fem?reader (mentions pronouns a few times)
Word count: 2.4k
Rating: PG
Genre/Warnings: established relationship, injury, pain, implied?verbal abuse, explicit language, kissing, FLUFF HEH (my favourite), oc is so in love with Jimin
Note: hello fellow fluff lovers, i’m so sorry i’ve been ia for 10 months i was focusing on finishing my final year for college. tbh creative writing isn't my strong point it’s more of a side hobby so please understand i won’t be updating regularly i’ll probably be posting more so when I'm bored and feel like it ahahaha. I do want to point out thanks to all those who liked my previous stories. I really do appreciate it it’s great motivation!! anywho this story was based on when i hurt my foot (it was a more gross story but still hurt like a bitch) i tried limping home but the entire time i wished someone would carry me and care for me the way jimin does in the ff (sad i know). i originally wanted it to be longer going into detail about Jimin’s backstory but i thought short and sweet was better SO ENJOY i hope you all like it :)
and as always please let me know what you guys think and if you want more stories like this! please also leave a like and/or reblog if you enjoyed reading! :D
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A warm sensation spreads through your body, engulfing you in a comforting embrace. You couldn't help but smile as a sense of contentment washed over you. The day had been a success. You followed every command and every instruction that your superiors had asked you to follow. Starting a new job was a challenging experience, one you hadn’t gone through before. The memory of your previous employment still haunts you, the echoes of your coworkers' voices reverberating in your mind as they berated you for the slightest of missteps. Not only was it stressful to deal with that every day, but you would also feel even more drained coming home after the endless regrets ran through your mind.
The more you worked at that god-awful place, the more your thoughts grew—were these issues truly insignificant, or were they looming large and you simply lacked the perspective to see them?
Your boyfriend, Jimin, was constantly begging you to quit the job since the sight of you so wrapped up in absolute guilt crushed him every day. Jimin only wanted what was best for you. The stubbornness he had over you was often a hard take but it was only ever going to be beneficial. As the begs increased in volume, your guilt scaled high, resulting in an endless cycle.
You knew you had to do it. Gathering yourself mentally and emotionally to utter those two liberating words took a great deal of courage.
"I quit."
You said it slightly quietly, still unsure. but you were stern about it with an attempt at a demeaning stare. In your head, you felt pretty confident with the way you delivered it, only to have that confidence descend with the sudden scoffs followed by the classic response, "Is that supposed to impress me?"
Perhaps Jimin was right. The testosterone in the room was unbearable at this point, and that slow, excruciating deterioration of your brain was just really not worth it. Staring back at your manager, you remained undeterred.
"I'll be handing in my notice tomorrow."
It was never worth creating an argument with your manager or anyone who lacked basic brain cells, in fact. That simple interaction only changed you for the better, and slowly but surely you felt you had a little more respect for yourself.
As you navigate the bustling street after your third shift, a palpable aura of rejuvenation surrounds you, causing your steps to take on a playful bounce. The faint aroma of coffee lingers on your clothes. The joy felt completely surreal, almost like time and space had been warped. Though the relentless bombardment of verbal abuse made your mind gradually deteriorate, it now made even the most challenging tasks a mere cakewalk.
The rain had been hammering down on the cafe windows for most of the day, so when you were met with the fortunate sun slowly peeking out from the clouds, you felt enveloped with its warmth, feeling it gradually filling your mind up with a little extra dose of serotonin.
Several metres or so away from your workplace, in a small back alley, you could smell the damp brick encroaching on your senses. Looking farther ahead, you saw the recent confrontation you were only slowly getting used to. It was amusing to you that a couple of steps were the only thing you had to worry about in your new day-to-day life. It was a sign that you were at least doing something right. You braced yourself for the steep steps that lay ahead while keeping in mind the wet, slick concrete.
And at that moment, the serotonin vanished. As the calmness of the moment dissipated, a surge of anxiety and adrenaline took over. Your heart plummeted as you failed to catch those final steps. Your foot barely brushes the step's edge. As you stumbled, your ankle gave way beneath you, sending you tumbling to the ground.
You squealed, trying not to make any noise, as a wave of pain shot from your foot up through your body when the weight followed.
"Ouch,"
You hissed in pain as you sat at the foot of the steps. Looking absolutely helpless. The surrealness seemed to slip away as the situation unfolded before your eyes. Your mind wandered in silence. As you glanced around, a wave of relief washed over you as you realised that no one had witnessed your mortifying disaster.
I'm fine. I'm fine. You managed to convince yourself that you could make it home since the distance to your house was less than a mile. I can limp; it's fine. You reached for the railing and attempted to pull yourself up, only to be reacquainted with the searing pain you'd felt before.
Fuck.
You personally don't like to worry excessively about pain and injuries because you've always considered it a waste of time to acknowledge the warnings your body gave you. As the numbness set in, you realised that the situation was far worse than you had initially thought. Your body lay still and unresponsive, leaving you with only your thoughts to keep you company.
Along with the overwhelming urge to get up and leave, you also had the nagging fear that someone could hear a small person yelping at the bottom of the steps and decide to make a huge deal out of it. You know one person, Jimin, who would take his time over an insignificant issue. He would be the one to hire a golden carriage and transport you in grandeur, as the conclusion to convincing you that you needed to rescue yourself from those said scary steps. That was the worst-case scenario in your mind. However, it reached the point where you would rather have him make this big of a deal than a complete stranger who would have thought you were weak, whereas Jimin was certain that you are not.
A soft, sad sigh escapes your lips as your hand instinctively reaches for the back pocket of your jeans. With fingers trembling in anticipation, you searched for Jimin's name. As you raised your phone to your ear, you sensed your heart rate accelerating. Your nerves were on edge, and you did not want to burden Jimin with any additional worries. Making Jimin anxious was punishment enough. Every day, catching a glimpse of Jimin's radiant smile was like a burst of sunshine, flooding your world with a second dose of serotonin. But the thought of not being able to bring that smile to his face or turn it into a beaming grin was gnawing at your insides.
"Hey, ___, I’m so sorry. I’ll be home soon! I’m just out with Namjoon and Hobi!" Jimins' amplified voice, together with the distant chatter in the background, echoed through the alleyway. "No, Jimin i-"
"It was just- Hobi wanted us to come see designs after work, and naturally we all piled into the bar! We are finishing up now!"
"Jimin, that's not why I'm calling…" You replied with a low tone.
"Huh?? Sorry babe, I can't hear you that well!" You chuckled to yourself at the agonising situation. Oh Jimin..
"Jimin, I fell.."
"Sorry, what was that??"
"I don’t know Jimin. I fell down these steps, and I can't get up. It's so embarrassing. I don't know what to do.."
"Shit. Stay there. I'm coming now. Where are you?" The way Jimin's entire demeanour shifts over the phone, it intimidates the hell out of you.
"I’m just outside that alleyway from my work... Do you know the one?"
"Yes, I do. I’ll be there in five minutes." And with that, Jimin ends the call.
"Fuck. That was my girlfriend. I’m so sorry guys, I have to go" Jimin, on the other hand, was shitting it. Hearing your frightened voice over the phone was enough for him to travel day and night to you.
"Is something wrong?" Namjoon asked, apprehensive. He'd only see Jimin's expression like this when something was seriously wrong.
"I'm not sure, I think she’s hurt. I'll see you guys soon." Jimin said, frantically stuffing all his things in his bag. "Aw, alright, I hope she’s okay," Hoseok chirped.
"I hope so too. Bye!!" And just like that, Jimin literally flew outside the bar door. Foot harsh on the pedal. On his way: to you.
You kept your eyes on the cracks along the walls, waiting for Jimin. In the end, a few people did come by, but you covered it up by sitting on the floor and talking on your phone, and they didn't seem to notice. It's currently quiet as the sun is descending. But eventually you could hear faint, sporadic panting in the distance. It was the said saviour of the day.
"___!! Oh my god, oh my god, are you okay?? What happened?!?" Jimin gasped, looking at you like a precious gem that had cracked.
"I’m alright, just a little stumble. But I can't stand up, and it’s annoying." With a faint chuckle, you replied. You looked up at him, hoping to see his gaze soften and persuade him that it wasn't such a major issue, but his anxious expression didn't fade.
Scrambling towards you, he examined your ankle carefully, gently touching it in the process.
"Hm, I’m not a doctor, but I think maybe you sprained it. We should go to the hospital." He announced it sincerely.
"NO. I mean- no Jimin, no hospital, please; it’s not a big deal."
"Are you sure? I mean, you said you couldn’t even stand up?" It was endearing that Jimin tried to convince you, but because you didn't want to feel even more embarrassed, you simply scowled at him and hoped he understood what you were trying to imply.
"Okay, okay, let’s go home then." Jimin let out a little giggle at your silliness. But he now knew it was time for him to take on the doctor role and oh how Jimin would take that role very seriously. "Right, I need to carry you to the car then, can you try and get on my back?"
Jimin crouched in front of you after turning around. You used your entire upper-body strength to push yourself onto Jimin's back by reaching for his shoulders. His arms came back around and supported you from behind before he stood up and repositioned you.
"You okay?" Jimin asks once again. "Yes. Thank you, Jimin."
You scoot closer to his back, not just so he can carry you, but also so you can embrace him. Jimin carefully made his way back up the steps and onto the busy street, attempting to find his way back to the car park. You felt embarrassed by the many stares so you cuddled your face closer into the back of Jimin's neck.
It felt safe there, and you could smell his perfume's mild flowery scent mingled with the peppermint notes of his shampoo. Oh, how he always smelled so good. You smiled into his neck and pecked him lightly. This elicited a slight chuckle from him.
Jimin gently places you in the passenger seat and carefully rearranges your legs. He tightens the seatbelt and ensures you're safe and secure. You glance up at him, speechless. After the manner in which he's been treating you, the decision to call him for assistance felt extremely justifiable. As your gaze lingers on Jimin, he catches your eye, and a soft chuckle escapes his lips once more.
"Is this okay?" Jimin asked with a grin. "Yes, Jimin, this is perfect." As your gaze met his, a rush of warmth flooded your heart. The way he looked at you with such tenderness and affection was a feeling beyond words. To have someone who cherished you so deeply was truly a gift beyond measure. A rosy hue crept up Jimin's cheeks, causing his smile to widen even further.
Closing your door and driving back to the house was quite quiet, but it also felt soothing and safe at the same time. Jimin carried you on his back once again while fumbling to retrieve his keys from his pocket to open the door. Making his way to the sofa, he plopped you down softly.
"Okay, wait there. Don't go anywhere; I’m going to find a bandage." You laughed and shook your head at his stupid yet endearing joke.
When Jimin returned 10 minutes later, he did not only return with a bandage but also with half the house. Blankets, pillows, comfy clothes, a big bowl of snacks, and on top, the said bandage. You couldn’t even see his concentrated face through the massive mountain of love.
Your laughs echoed throughout the room once again while Jimin dumped everything beside you. He then carefully helps you undress into your loungewear and, following a YouTube tutorial, attempts to wrap the bandage around your foot. Watching him all focused on you made your heart flip around the room. He is so adorable.
"Okay, I think that’s good. Now do you want a pillow under your foot as well?" Jimin asked you politely. "I think it’s alright like this." You look at him, smiling.
"Hm, scratch that, I’m getting you a pillow."
When Jimin returns from getting a pillow, he gently lifts your feet to place it beneath them. He then throws various fluffy blankets over you while tucking in the sides, making sure once again that you don’t go anywhere. Looking back at you, he moves in close, giving you a soft peck on your forehead. With a mischievous glint in his eye, he momentarily retreats before leaning back in, peppering your face with a flurry of playful kisses. The two of you erupt into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, your heads thrown back in pure love and joy.
"Now what should I put on the TV for you?" Jimin sits beside you after grabbing the TV remote. "Anything I don’t mind."
Jimin then proceeds to put on your favourite film. Pressing play; he looks at you with a soft smile. "Please be more careful; I hate seeing you hurt like this." He pats your head gently while wrapping his arm around you.
"I’ll try not to Jimin ''. You say as you move closer to him, resting your head on his chest.
Paying close attention to the rest of the movie, your sixth sense tells you Jimin isn't watching it at all; he's staring at your ankle, hoping nothing will hurt it any further.
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the-whispers-of-death · 4 months
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Let me preface this by saying this not a usual Reader Drabble, this is for my OC "Stone" who is a Fleet Marine Corpsman in the U.S. Navy who is lent to the Task Force 141 to be their medic as a gesture of goodwill between the U.S. and the UK. And all of 17 of you know of him from "Save Me from Myself (Chapter 1)" and I most likely will not be updating that any time soon because I have not finished writing a work since late 2022-early 2023 and I just keep looking at the unfinished chapter two of "Save Me from Myself" and wanting to curl up in a ball because I'm not motivated. But I do have little bits of brain rot for Stone, so here it is. Okay, so Stone is cold and stoic, right? He's not one for making friends and he's freakishly tall (at 6'8") so he's an intimidating man when combined with his lack of friendliness. But still, he's too good of a Corpsman for the Task Force to turn him away. So they just deal with his behavior, grimacing whenever he patches them up efficiently but roughly because the man has no proper bedside manner.
But interactions with him can get... weird, almost. Especially with regarding his masala chai that he makes every morning for himself.
He'll glare at Ghost if Ghost comes around the stove while Stone's making the chai and maybe he'll growl beneath his muzzle-like mask if Ghost pushes his luck by asking for a cup (or cuppa as the British people say). But then one day, Ghost looks particularly weary, in body language alone of course, and all of a sudden, a cup of chai is pushed into his hands and before he even realizes it, Stone is walking down the hallway like he didn't just give Ghost a cup of chai.
After a particularly rough day of working and just being basically holed up in his office doing so much paperwork, Price comes to his barracks for the night and there it is. A lone, hot cup of chai on his nightstand, waiting for Price to drink it so that he could relax enough to sleep. There's no Stone in sight, because that would've been so creepy, but Price knows it's from the tall, cold Corpsman because he can smell the Indian spices when he picks the cup up to drink. And the trend continues whenever Price is feeling absolutely exhausted but also has his mind racing too much to sleep.
Gaz knows better than to try and drink Stone's chai, he's seen how Stone reacted to Ghost asking for a cup. So he most likely just tries his best to be out of the recreational room in the mornings so that he's out of the woods of interacting with Stone while Stone's making the chai. But one day, he woke up after one of the worst nightmares he's had in a while and he stumbles into the recreational room and there Stone is, making his chai. And Gaz, like a total sweetheart, just says good morning and even though he's eyeing that hot chai that would totally soothe him and his racing heart, he forces himself to go to the fridge and take out some food for breakfast. Only for Stone to slide over a cup of chai over to him after a few minutes, looking anywhere except Gaz like he hadn't just done something. (Yes, I think Stone would like Gaz more than the rest, enough that he'd be around Gaz after giving him some chai.)
Soap getting a cup of chai is the funniest, because he doesn't like tea. He's the only one who doesn't eye Stone's cups of chai, but he too cannot escape Stone giving him a cup. It happens when Soap gets sick, the Sergeant having gotten a cold after a previous mission in a rather colder climate and he hadn't been properly covered up fully. He's sort of still in a sickly haze, but he's able to be up and about, kinda. He was straight up just stumbling a bit as he moved along the base hallways, when all of a sudden he just gets pulled into the recreational room and to the couch. He gets sat down and a cup of chai is placed in his hands, Stone's heavy footsteps walking out of the room the only indication Soap has that it was in fact Stone who pulled him into the room. And he's so tempted not to drink the chai, hates the way tea tastes and he doesn't think Stone's will be any better, but his sore throat begs him to, so he eventually drinks it. And lo and behold, he actually likes it better than any of the teas Ghost, Price, and Gaz make.
Reblogs are welcomed & appreciated!
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nipuni · 1 year
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I'd love to know more about your OCs when you have time
😭💘💘💘 SHJHGAJWHFG this makes me happy!!!
I don't want to give away too much so that my adhd brain doesn't overshare and lose motivation to work on the story so I'm struggling to hold back 😫
It takes place in a house on the shore, the shifting rooms of the house, the dense ocean fog and moving garden vines reveal and obscure the history of it's inhabitants. An unexpected visitor washes up on the shore one afternoon. Lucile and Vincent are from entirely different time periods. Lucile is blind in one eye, Vincent walks with a cane. AAAH I don't know what else to share that is not saying too much 😖 It is a character driven gothic romance/horror about trauma, death, regret and revenge and the story changes depending on your choices. I'm sketching a bunch of art of them and been writing in between work so I'll be sharing more stuff soon 🥰 I'm so flattered by the interest it really means so much to me 😭 I want to share their story to the best of my ability and I'm teaching myself a lot of new things so I can do that, I really hope you will enjoy it once it's done 🥺
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amethystfairy1 · 3 days
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You are such an amazing author and I love you so much!!!!! I read both ttsbc and tt and honestly, how do you do it!?!?!?! I barely have enough motivation to do anything these days and you're just here uploading DAILY!?!?!? Thank you though, the emails I get when you upload are always the highlights of my day and when/if I get married, you are invited to the wedding. You gave me such brain rot all my OCs are starting to get inspired by your works. I just wanted to say thank you, you are amazing and drink some water because like gem said - HYDRATE OR DIEDRATE!!!
🩷🩷🩷
Thank you!!! I'm so glad you enjoy my AUs so much!
I dunno, I just like writing! 😅 And it's also been so amazing to have so many folks who support, so I know when I post I'll get comments and questions and such, and that always just makes me so excited to write, so I haven't lost steam just yet! 😆
Oooo OCS! Have you heard about the fandom event @silver-sunray is running? It's called TTSBC: Beyond and it's going to be a fanworks event for stuff related to TTSBC, if you want to create anything about your OCs and submit them, you should follow Silver, they are planning to have some more info about the event up at some point that might be interesting to ya!
HYDRATE OR DIEDRATE!!! 💖
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karahalloway · 8 months
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(Less Than) Noble Intentions: Chapter 15 - Not Without Obligation
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Fandom: TRR
Pairing: Drake Walker x F!OC (Harper Gale)
Series Summary: The social season may be over, but Harper Gale’s problems are just beginning. With everyone at court a potential suspect, can she and Drake survive the engagement tour and get to the bottom of the plot against her and clear her name? An AU take of TRR2 featuring my OTP - Harper & Drake.
Masterlist: (Less Than) Noble Intentions
Chapter Summary: Harper gets a surprise visit from Christian... but are his intentions sincere?
Word Count: 2,800 (short for me, I know enjoy it while you can 😆)
Rating/Warnings: M (swearing, angst, possible ulterior motives)
Chapter theme song:
A/N: I know it's been more than a hot minute since I've updated this series! 😅 This is in part because I got sidetracked by Sleepless in New York also on my list to finish, I know, and then I took most of the summer off from writing. But also in part because I kinda got stuck on how to actually continue with this series... but, I now have a plan! *rubs hands together gleefully* and you ain't gonna like it, sorry, not sorry. So, with this long-awaited installment, I hope to be back in my usual groove and will be posting with some semblance of regularity again. Thanks so much for bearing with me!
A/N2: This is also my submission for @choicesseptemberchallenge2023 Day 25 Prompt - Secret, Surprise I’m only 2 days late
Chapter 15 - Not Without Obligation
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Making my way back to my room, I try to push down the conflicting emotions that are roiling inside of me.
On one hand, I get where Drake is coming from, and why he shut the door in my face. We are no longer alone in Applewood and even the faintest whiff of impropriety could implode the carefully strategised work that the royal PR team has put in to try and resuscitate my public image.
And me getting caught outside of the room of a guy who not only is not Christian, but who I have no justifiable reason for seeking out at the butt-crack of dawn in the first place, would definitely scupper the assertion that I'm not a two-timing hussy. Especially since I rushed out of my room earlier wearing nothing more than a t-shirt and panties.
Mitigating factors, they are not.
But while the rational part of my brain knows that Drake is only trying to look out for me, I can't help but feel a pang of dejection at the abruptness with which he — very literally — shut me out, even though he promised yesterday that he wouldn't do something like that to me again.
Because God knows that it had been hard enough to get him to open up the first time!
And even though I'm not expecting him to have completely reversed his habitudes overnight, I guess I'd been hoping that our conversation in the barn would've prompted some kind of step in the desired direction.
Because it's clear that the bruises on my neck unnerved him. The turmoil on his face had made that clear. As the marks are not just some haphazard side-effect of our frantic love-making. They are a very real and visible reminder of the tangible strength of his feelings — and the fact that he lost control of them.
And as much as I understand the knee-jerk cause of his reaction, the last thing I want — or need — right now is for Drake to distance himself from me because he's scared of hurting me again.
That, I could not cope with.
"Demoiselle," nods Allard as I arrive back at my room.
I flash him a distracted smile on auto-pilot. He saw and heard what happened. There is no point rehashing anything. Especially since this isn't something he or Schweitzer can help with.
The weight of my Guard's concerned gaze flick over me as I shuffle past, but they both remain silent, no doubt sensing that I'm not in the mood for conversation.
Shutting the door behind me, I close my eyes as I lean back against the solidness of the wood.
Why are things never simple 'round here?
I really wish Drake and I could've taken a moment to talk things through. Because today's Apple Harvest Festival is expected to see hundreds of people descend onto Applewood to not only celebrate this year's bountiful crop of Cordonian Rubies, but to also catch a glimpse of the new King and his future Queen.
And if I thought that cornering Drake at the apple pick had been hard, the chances of being able to do so today are going to be slim to none.
But the rest of the week doesn't offer any better options because tomorrow we're off to Italy, where we'll likely have even less opportunity for privacy given the high-profile and international nature of the coming engagements.
My eyes snap open. I have to talk to him now.
As much as Drake may be concerned about protecting what's left of my image, I'm not going to let him use the inconvenience of our circumstances as an excuse to hide behind his insecurities or erect walls between us. Because the hard truth is that there's never going to be a good time to talk unless we make time.
Which is exactly what I am going to do, possible scandal be damned. I cannot let a tenuous fear borne out of a possible public backlash hold me back. My relationship with Drake is worth infinitely more to me than whatever garbage the paps may decide to print because some aristo decided to tattle on me if I get caught sneaking back into his room.
Because, let's face it. Even if I do end up on the front pages tomorrow (for all the wrong reasons), the fact of the matter is that any photo, any situation — no matter how sordid or innocent — can be spun any which way.
I've learnt that the hard way. So, I may as well use it to my own advantage for once.
Pushing myself away from the door, I march into my walk-in closet with renewed determination. Pulling the t-shirt that I'd slept in over my head, I quickly throw on a bra, some jean shorts and a black tank top.
Slotting my bare feet into my well-worn Sketchers, I make my way over to the French doors that lead out onto balcony so I can try to figure out the best way to scamper over to Drake's room without killing myself, given that I stand a better chance of slipping under the aristo's nosy radar via the balcony than going back through the corridor.
Hopefully, I can—
Tap, tap tap.
I stop mid-stride at the sound of knocking coming from the other side of my door.
Turning around, I contemplate whether I should respond, or pretend that I hadn't heard.
I have precious little time if I want to catch Drake before he disappears on me to do... whatever it is that he does in the mornings before the start of a royal event.
So, if I want to make it to his room, I need to go now before he finishes getting dressed.
But, then again, there is only a very small number of people at court who'd come directly to my room to talk to me. Especially at this time in the morning.
So, it could be important. It could be about Tariq...
...it could be Drake.
The latch clicks open.
I glance anxiously back towards the balcony, trying to decide if I should—
"May I come in?"
I whirl around in surprise at the sound of the unexpected voice. "Christian!"
He pokes his head 'round the door. "I... I didn't catch you in a state of undress, did I?"
"No! No... I was already dressed," I admit, trying to be as casual as possible as I quickly brush my hair over my shoulders in a haphazard attempt to try and cover up the bruises, given that I hadn't thought to slather any cover-up over myself yet.
Christian definitely doesn’t need to be asking questions about those!
"Ah, good!" he responds, stepping fully into the room and closing the door behind him. "You're an early riser, like myself."
"You can thank the Beaumonts," I mutter under my breath, glancing guiltily back toward the balcony.
So much for stealing a much-needed moment with Drake...
"I apologise for the intrusion," Christian continues, crossing the space between us, "especially at such an early hour. But I was hoping to catch you alone before the start of the Apple Harvest Festival."
One word catches my attention. "A-Alone...?"
He comes to a stop in front of me. "Very much so."
Anxiety flares in the pit of my stomach as Drake's words from yesterday swirl through my mind.
...he's trying to win you back.
And it suddenly hits me that I haven't been alone — truly alone — with Christian since the day of the Jamboree. When he took me into the hedge maze and offered me a duchy.
My mind starts to whirl.
Had that been the start of this... crusade? The fact that I turned him down? Does he still think he can change my mind? Is he simply incapable of accepting 'no' as an answer?
I force my gaze up to meet his.
His emerald green eyes behold me calmly, with maybe a hint of excitement. But I cannot read his intention.
"Wh-why?" I finally blurt out.
A smile spreads across his face. "To bestow upon you your letters patent, of course!"
I gape at him. "My letters of what?"
He chuckles good-naturedly at my evident confusion. "Letters patent. Itis a type of royal decree that formally confers some manner of privilege onto the names designee — an office of state, a coat of arms, a commercial monopoly... or, in this case, your new title as Duchess of Valtoria."
With a flourish, he pulls out a small, leather-bound box that he's been hiding behind his back.
I stare at it mutely.
"It won't bite, I promise," he assures me wryly.
Reaching up with a tepid smile, I accept the box, which is a lot heavier than it looks.
Opening it up, I find a medieval-looking document nestled in the lid, complete with densely-packed Chancery script and and a historiated initial C embossed with the stylised image of the Cordonian royal crest.
Peering at the text — which I can only assume is an archaic form of French — I can just about make out the odd word, like my name, Christian's name, and Valtoria. But the rest remains completely incomprehensible.
Presumably some grand declarations about the bestowal...
In the bottom part of the box rests a cream-coloured envelope also bearing the Cordonian royal crest, along with my name, though this time written in delicate cursive lettering.
"What's this?" I ask Christian, lifting the letter up.
"Your papers of naturalisation," he informs me. "Along with your new passport and ID card."
I glance up at him in surprise. "I am now a Cordonian citizen?"
"It would not have been possible to issue the letters patent otherwise," he says. "Even a king must abide by the diktats of the law."
"I... don't need to sign anything?"
"The US Consulate was very accommodating, given the unique nature of the circumstances."
My stomach twists unexpectedly. "Oh..."
Dual citizenship is a good thing, right?
Returning my attention to the box, I see that the envelope has been concealing a large, intricate-looking seal bearing what appears to be the stylised outline of a rampant phoenix, next to which sits a signet ring with the same image.
"Does it meet expectations?" asks Christian.
"I'm not sure I know what I'd been expecting..." I admit, running a finger over the lines of the mythical bird, marvelling at the level of detail that's been put into creating such a realistic rendering, complete with individual licks of flame spouting from the tail feathers.
"Any egregious spelling errors?"
"Not that I can see," I admit, glancing up at him. "But—"
"Excellent!" he declares, reaching over the lid of the box to deftly pluck the signet ring out from its nest of blue silk.
Before I have a chance to react, he's clasped my hand in his to poise the heavy circlet of gold at the tip of my ring finger.
"Wait!" I gasp in the face of the unexpectedly intimate turn of events. "What are you—?"
"It would be remiss of me if I did not verify the correctness of the sizing," he advises, meeting my panicked gaze calmly.
"You don't need t—"
"It would be my pleasure," he insists, slipping the ring onto the digit before I can protest further.
As he withdraws his hand, my eyes fall onto the spot where the cool metal's unfamiliar weight now encircles the base of my finger.
"Perfect," Christian declares with a satisfied smile, brushing his thumb over the phoenix insignia.
I stare at the band with an uneasily mix of feelings swirling in my chest. "Christian, I—"
"Let's celebrate, shall we?" he announces, pulling back to click his fingers with a decisive snap.
On cue, the door behind Christian swings open to admit a veritable procession of servants bearing ice buckets, champagne, crystal flutes and tiny servings of finger food.
"Wait..." I stammer in the face of organised onslaught. "They were waiting outside this whole time?"
"I may have take a page out of your party planning book," he admits with a grin while the industrious staff set about transforming my bedroom into a first-class tea room. "Seeing the success you had with Drake on his birthday, I thought I would try my hand at surprising you on this important day."
"And that's great, but I never agreed—"
"Didn't you?" Christian asks with a level look as he nabs a miniature scone from the tray of a passing server.
I shake my head. "No, I—"
"Because I specifically recall you giving your unambiguous consent at yesterday's apple pick to proceed with finalising your new status," he states, taking a bite out of the pastry.
I open my mouth, but promptly shut it as the conversation from the orchard floats back into my consciousness.
"...having the paperwork squared away before our departure would grant significant boon for your image."
"Oh. Okay..."
"Oh, fuck..." I mutter as the cold hand of hindsight clamps down on the nape of my neck.
Christian had obviously mischaracterised my somewhat dazed reaction as some kind of explicit affirmation.
And since Drake's appearance yesterday had interrupted the conversation at that key moment, I never had a chance to correct the misunderstanding.
But I need to. Because once again, Christian has taken matters into his own hands and acted without my my prior agreement or approval t. Just like he had done when he decided to send me away during the Coronation Ball, only to then bring me back to court as his mistress, not to mention spring an actual duchy on me without any warning.
And while his heart's probably been in the right place each and every time, I'm not sure that I can cope with any more bolts from the blue.
Especially when they so drastically upend my life.
Heaving a breath, I look back up at the King of Cordonia again. "Look, Christian, I really appreciate all of this, but I think there's been a major—"
The loud bang! of the champagne bottle shooting its cork across the room makes me jump.
Turning around, I can see that the gold-coloured liquid is already in the process of being dispensed into a pair of waiting crystal flutes.
"I hope you like this Moët & Chandon Imperial Vintage 1946 that I had picked out," Christian murmurs, brushing a hand over the small of my back. "It is an exceptional cuvée with notes of citrus, apple and pear — an apt combination, I thought, given the occasion."
"Because of the pear trees in Valtoria..." I surmise heavily, watching a footman bring over a pair of freshly-filled champagne flutes with a foreboding note of finality.
"Exactly," confirms Christian, grabbing a glass from the tray. "A beautifully complimentary pairing. One that hope we can both enjoy for many years to come."
"Yes, but—"
"Let's toast, shall we?" prompts Christian, cutting me off yet again as the footman proffers me the other serving of expensive bubbly.
I stare at it like a poison pill.
This is what Drake had warned me about, isn't it? That Christian would seek to manoeuvre me into a corner like a chess piece... By giving with one hand, only to take with the other when the time came for the chips to fall due. Because what better way to create an unimpeachable sense of obligation than by making me into a duchess? A literal vassal to the Crown? Required to do the King's bidding, no matter the cost?
And if that really is his aim, then he has certainly been succeeding.
But at the same time, I am not sure I can trust my assessment. Christian has given no indication, one way or another, as to where his goals lay. And even if the misunderstanding had been genuine, to turn him down now would not only be inexplicably rude, but maybe also dangerous?
Would I be jeopardising Christian's support in the hunt for Tariq and my quest to set the record straight if I offend him by throwing all his heartfelt effort back in his face? Especially when I don't know for certain what Christian's motives are?
Because what if Drake is wrong? What if there is no hidden agenda and I'm just massively overthinking this entire thing because I've been burned once already and now everyone looks suspect... Even — and especially — when I'm being offered help?
"Harper?" queries Christian. "Everything alright?"
I shake myself out of my stupor and grab the crystal flute. "I'm fine. Just... Trying to come to grips with it all."
"There will be plenty of time for that," he assures me with a grin, raising his glass. "To the new Duchess of Valtoria!"
I clink the delicate crystal in my hand against his with a leaden feeling in my stomach.
There's no going back now...
For better or for worse, I have just become an aristo.
The story continues in Chapter 16 - Snakes in the Garden
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sparrowsage · 5 days
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Revenge, Part One: Ghosts of the Past
Hello! I know I haven't posted in while. I've had some major stuff pop up in my personal life, but things are on the mend! This is the first part in a mini series that takes place six months after the end of Warehouse. It's very far out in the timeline for the Warehouse series, but my brain wanted to write this, so here it is! I'd like to give a special thanks to @oddsconvert and @darkthingshappen for the mention of their oc's Henley Allen from A Taste of Your Own Medicine and Agent Vaughn from Brothers Keeper. And I'd also like to thank them as well as @whumpcereal and @flowersarefreetherapy for their support as I wrote this! I got the inspiration and motivation for this piece from day four of the Merry Whump of May event as well and it was a ton of fun!
TW: Vague mentions of past captivity, vague mentions and implied past noncon, kidnapping, noncon drugging, mentions of past character death, threatened murder (if I missed any, let me know and I'll add them!)
MWoM Prompt: Day 4 “Forgettable, ‘Who are you?’ Lamp, Alleyway” 
If Sparrow would have been asked when he was teen where he thought he’d be when he was an adult, his response wouldn’t be what you’d expect. As far as he knew, he was going to be in the Warehouse facility for the rest of his life, or with some random person who had bought him if he ever got to the point of being sold. Not once did he ever think that he’d be living with a close and trusted friend, free to make his own decisions, able to finally carve out a life for himself of his own free will. 
It had been six months since the Warehouse had gotten raided. Six months since Damon had tried to escape the facility with him in tow. Six months since he was reunited with his friends and finally free from the hell he never thought he’d be away from. 
Sparrow snapped out of his thoughts as he heard his friend giggle, looking over to him as Felix spun around in a small circle, arms outstretched. 
“It’s been so long since I’ve been able to go and see a live show like that!” he exclaimed. “Thank you for coming with me.” 
Sparrow gave his friend a soft smile, putting his hands in his pockets as they walked back to their apartment building. “Thanks for offering to take me. I’ve never seen something like that! I’m surprised they have all those lines and stuff memorized, it looked like a lot!” 
Felix nodded, looking up at the clear night sky above them for a moment before looking back at his friend. “It’s their job, and it does take a lot of work, but it’s totally worth it. I’ve often had thoughts of trying to get into theater like that, but I think my stage fright would get in the way of it all.” 
Sparrow chuckled, giving Felix a light nudge as they continued on their way, “With how often I hear you singing in the apartment, I know you’d do great!” 
Sparrow let out a sigh, recalling the memories. It had been a whirlwind to try and get things back on track once he was released from the hospital this time. He still had weekly therapy appointments with Alex, but it had been more difficult to fall back into old routine with Felix this time around. There had been a short period of time where there were awkward conversations when the two interacted, both from Felix’s guilt over the invitation Damon had sent out and Sparrow not showing Felix the invite before he left amongst other things. Over time, they had talked things out and their friendship only got stronger from there. Henley still came by frequently as well, often spending a lot of time with Sparrow when he was free, which Sparrow appreciated. The two of them would help teach Sparrow how to read and write alongside teaching him about other things while also having some fun. 
At the thought of Henley, Sparrow took his hand out of his jacket pocket, looking at the digital watch Henley had given him a few months back. 
“Hey, it’s already 10:43. Do you think Henley would mind much if we moved movie night to tomorrow?” he asked. 
Felix looked at his own watch in return before looking at Sparrow, “I don’t think he’d mind. We did warn him the show may run late and he seemed fine with the possibility of postponing movie night. We’ll text him when we get home.” 
Sparrow hummed in agreement, putting his hand back in his pocket as they continued home, looking around the street as they walked. Due to how late it was, there weren’t any people out and about, the only lights coming from the lamp posts lining the sidewalks and the light up signs in the shop windows, long since closed for the day. 
Being outside at night was something that Sparrow had never realized he’d appreciate so much. Sure, there was anxiety lurking in the shadows, often keeping the man on edge, but nights like this where he could look up at the clear sky and see the glittering stars and enjoy the light breeze and inhale the nightly air, it felt freeing. 
As the two passed by a dark alleyway, some rustling caught Sparrow’s attention. He paused his steps, Felix looking back at him a few seconds later when he realized his friend wasn’t beside him. “Sparrow, you alright?” 
Sparrow stared into the dark alleyway, trying to see what was hidden in the shadows before shaking his head slightly to clear it. “Y-yeah, just thought I heard something is all.” 
Just as he was about to continue walking, a voice called out to them, “P-please help me.” 
The two hesitated, giving each other a look before Felix hesitantly approached the entryway to the alley. “Are you alright sir?” Felix asked. 
“Do either of you have some spare cash, or some change?” the voice asked, his voice sounding rough and raspy. 
Felix squinted as he hovered at the edge of the alleyway, trying to make out whoever was talking to them. “I-I’m sorry, but we don’t have any cash on us.” 
“That’s quite alright,” the voice responded. There was something about the voice that seemed off to Sparrow, but he couldn’t place it. There couldn’t be a way for Sparrow to know that voice, but the fact that it sounded familiar ate away at him the more the stranger spoke. 
“Felix, we should be getting back home,” he said, trying to keep his voice level. He didn’t want to scare Felix just because he felt uneasy. It was probably nothing. 
“Could you just help me up, sir? Before you leave? I have a bad knee.” 
Felix looked back at Sparrow for a moment before he stepped into the alleyway, the shadows swallowing him, “U-uhm, yeah sure.” 
From Sparrow’s spot on the street, he kept an eye on the dark alleyway, expecting Felix to come out seconds later, but all he heard was rustling before a muffled shout came from the shadows. 
“Felix?” Sparrow asked, taking a step towards the alley, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. 
Something was wrong. 
Sparrow heard some more rustling and a bit of muffled cries before he spotted a figure in the shadows of the alleyway. 
“You should teach your friend to be more careful. Helping the wrong stranger is going to get him into trouble,” the figure said. 
“Who are you and what do you want?” Sparrow asked, his body frozen in place on the sidewalk. 
The figure started walking forward towards him, an unmistakable limp to his step that made the blood in Sparrow’s face run cold, further cementing him to the sidewalk. 
This can’t be him, Sparrow thought. He didn’t remember Agent Vaughn telling him about some Keeper’s getting free from the raid. He thought that since his name didn’t get brought up in the court case or the fact that he didn’t see him in court meant that he died during the raid. 
“I bet you’re surprised, aren’t you?” the man asked, the light from the lamp posts illuminating his face as he stepped out of the alleyway. “Because who would have thought that you’d be seeing me, of all people, again after so much time.” 
“What do you want with us, Logan?” Sparrow asked again, his voice low but lined with fear. 
“You’re in no place to be demanding answers here, Sparrow. You should know that. Has living outside the facility for six months really put you back so much on your training?” 
Sparrow’s hands balled into fists at his side as he tried to figure out an answer. Logan took the hesitation of an answer to motion whoever was behind him in the alleyway to step forward, causing Sparrow’s breath to hitch. 
Five more people stepped out of the alleyway, one of which had Felix flush against his chest, a hand clamped over his mouth while the other held his wrists behind his back. Felix looked at Sparrow with a scared expression, his whole body trembling as his eyes started to water. 
“It’s been hard, these last six months, you know,” Logan started, slowly walking towards Sparrow. “Having to hide from the police all because the facility got shut down. They’d arrest us on sight if anyone found us. But you know what kept us going?” 
Sparrow let out a low and quiet growl as Logan got close to him, taking a small step back as Logan leaned in close. “Finding a way to get back at the person who ruined the entire operation.” 
“Felix wasn’t the one who took down the Warehouse, the FBI did,” Sparrow said, his gaze flickering between Logan and Felix. “You have no business with him.” 
Logan straightened himself as he faked a look of thought. “You’re right, it wasn’t the runt who got the Warehouse shut down, not in full. But he played a part in it.” 
“Vaughn was the one who found the place, not Felix.” 
“Yeah, that fucking agent found the place, but you know who went crying to the FBI when you didn’t return home that night you went to that party? Him. And why did he go to the FBI? Because you managed to escape and make friends, connections, something of which you had no right doing. He cared about you so much that he did everything he could to find you and get you back safely. If you hadn't defied orders and escaped the facility ten months ago, then we wouldn’t be here now.” 
This wasn’t good, Sparrow didn’t know what to do! If it were just him facing off against these guys, he’d fight back, but with Felix trapped, Sparrow couldn’t risk his friend getting hurt all because of his actions. 
“Just let him go, Logan,” Sparrow tried, a hint of desperation leaking into his voice. “You have issue with me, not him. Let him go and we can work this out.” 
At that, Logan let out a laugh, as did the other men standing around them, causing Felix to squeak in fear at the sound. “You think it’s that easy, pleading with me to let your friend go? And that I’m here for you? I often forget that you’re not that fucking smart when it comes to how the real world works. We came here for him and you just so happened to be with him. We’ve had our eyes set on this runt for months, we just needed the perfect moment to grab him, and what better night than tonight!” 
Sparrow glared at Logan as he spoke, trying to work out a way to get them both out of here safely, but anything he thought of wouldn’t work. In every idea he thought of, Felix would get hurt and Sparrow couldn’t let that happen. 
Logan looked around the empty street for a moment, turning on the spot to look back at his men and Felix, who stared back at Logan in fear. “Get him ready to transport, we’ve spent enough time here.” 
At the word ‘transport’, Sparrow started towards the men around Felix, anger and fear powering his limbs. “Don’t you fucking touch him!” he shouted, lunging for the closest man that was around his friend. 
Before he could get very far, three of the remaining four men pounced on Sparrow, quickly grabbing onto him as the fourth man grabbed a prepped syringe from his pocket. Felix started squirming the moment Sparrow was grabbed, just about missing the needle headed straight for his arm. He let out a loud but muffled yelp as the needle was jabbed into his arm, causing Sparrow to struggle even harder, but it was no use. The three men holding onto him were too strong and he was very outmatched. 
Amongst his struggles, Sparrow watched as Felix started to grow limp, his eyes slipping shut as the drug he was injected with took hold of him, forcing him into an unwanted sleep. Once he was under, Logan turned his full attention to Sparrow, who only continued to struggle. 
The former Keeper nodded to his men and they forced Sparrow to his knees on the ground. Sparrow let out a hiss as the gravel and pavement dug into his knees as he tried to pull his arms out of the grips that held them, but he slowed his attempts as Logan stepped closer to him, leaning down at the waist slightly. 
“I swear to god, Logan, I’m going to fucking kill you if you hurt him,” Sparrow growled as he glared at the former Keeper. 
Logan chuckled at the sight of the former pet, letting out a short sigh. “Your threats don’t work on me. Over the twenty years I worked to train you, you’ve only come close once, and that’s because I let my guard down. I’m not making any mistakes this time. You’re going to watch as I destroy your friend, bit by fucking bit, til there’s nothing left of him, and you’re going to help me do it.” 
Sparrow tried to jerk one of his arms free, his gaze never breaking from Logan as he let out a grunt at the wasted effort. “You’re fucking crazy if you think I’d willingly hurt him.” 
“Ah, well you see, I know you. You’d do anything to trade places with him, no matter the cost, and I think that seeing you get tortured in more ways than one will do just as much damage to him as if he were the one being hurt.” 
Sparrow stilled as the words registered, his expression falling for a moment. Logan was right, he’d do anything to make sure Felix didn’t bare the front of what they were about to endure, even if it meant sacrificing himself. 
“You’ve been told, time and time again by multiple people that you’re not supposed to form connections or to make friends because it isn’t your place to have feelings. Your job is to serve and please whoever owns you, doing whatever they ask of you with no hesitation. I am excited, if I’m to be honest, Sparrow. You know why that is?” 
“Why?” Sparrow asked through gritted teeth. 
“Because I get to hit you where it hurts. Just because we were going after him doesn’t mean that I won’t be paying special attention to you. You’ve caused me so much trouble ever since you were brought into the facility, especially after Damon took on your case. Now it’s my turn to level the playing field. You remember how you used to protect Jayden when he was alive? How compliant you got all because of a simple threat to his well being?” 
Logan stood then, nodding to one of the men holding Sparrow. “Well, you know that I won’t hesitate to kill your friend here if you step a toe out of line. I highly doubt that you want another one of your friends to die all because of you.” 
The mention of Jayden made the blood drain from Sparrow’s face as a new fire blazed inside of him. This wouldn’t be a repeat of what happened with Jayden, Sparrow couldn’t let that happen. He wouldn’t let another one of his friends die by the hands of this fucking bastard. 
Just as Sparrow was about to start struggling again, he felt the pinch of a needle in his neck and a coolness spread throughout his body. As his vision started to tunnel, he looked up to see Logan start limping back into the alleyway as he started to lose feeling in his limbs.
“Let’s get these guys into the van, and don’t forget to restrain them. The runt will be out for a while, but with this shit’s tolerance, I don’t know when he’ll wake and it’ll be easier to handle him if he can’t move.” 
The last thing Sparrow remembered seeing was a set of headlights turn on far back into the alleyway and hearing an engine roar to life as the drugs dragged him under. 
Taglist: @mannerofwhump, @honey-is-mesi, @painful-pooch, @whumperfully, @hiding-in-the-shadows
@flowersarefreetherapy, @goronska, @blueyellow8green (If you want to be added, let me know!)
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nectar-cellar · 10 months
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HIIII
i'm sorry for my absence in posts and replies, life has just been hectic lately & ive been feeling crappy 😭
first of all, thank you very much for the response on the night drive story posts, as an avoidant writer it means a lot 🥺💖
i felt motivated to write more, so this weekend i worked on my Amir x Dani Smut Story #2. i was looking at all my cc projects and just feeling very bleugh about them so i decided to take a break from that.
i went thru my google drive and i realized i wrote this smut draft one year ago. my brain is fully rotted by my ocs at this point. since i can never make things simple for myself, i had to write an Angsty Emotional Plot for it as well. no they can't just get straight to fucking, that would be too easy. 🙄
i got about 50% of the scenes done (intro and foreplay). i'm really happy with how it's coming along because i got all hot and bothered while taking the pictures so i must be on the right path. i just have to do the rest of the scenes... and then do some post-editing and cutting unnecessary pics... then rewrite the script to fit the captions... 💀
i ended up fully decorating amir's sunset valley rental apartment so hopefully this week i can take some pictures and give you a tour of his place.
here's a preview of some of the steamy pics i've gotten so far, as a thank you for bearing with me. nothing explicit......... i'll save that for pillowfort.
i don't want to give away too much of what happens but basically umm it's another fantasy from amir's perspective. he gets kinky in this one and you'll find out... what... he... enjoys 😭
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museofthepyre · 4 months
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Did a fun Q&A thing on insta about my ocs, here are the highlights, lore and shit! For context I am writing this into a horror-ish book as we speak. Brewing my dastardly schemes (gay tragedy).
Q: Is Eden also a cannibal?
A: Eden isn't a cannibal in the way Harlow is. I mean he eats people but only because Harlow's cooking is too good to turn down /hj. Eden's thing is... kinda the opposite.
He's slowly being consumed by the rot that's festering within him, a manifestation of hatred and shame. To him love is consumption, and he is inedible. Insert vulture metaphor here w Harlow. For every rotting corpse there is a very greatful vulture who will look past the decay, and see your worth. Eden is ultimately finished off by something that loves him, a consumptive love, unconditional and indiscriminate.
Q: ABOUT THE ROT, HOW DOES IT WORK? HOW IS IT AFFECTING HIM??
A: This rot is really the only story element that isn't totally grounded in reality. It's an illness that's a manifestation of his self hatred/ repression/ internalized shame- not an actual condition.
It appears at first like it just affects his chest- but it’s been slowly burrowing deep into his body. Its spreading like roots/ mycillium through his flesh and will finish him off in one foul swoop once it's finished spreading.
In the meantime, it manifests like a chronic illness- his muscles are all atrophied and he feels constantly drained of life. It's taking small pieces of flesh to sustain itself while it spreads (the chest cavity is the result of that-though the REAL damage is invisible. It's the ticking time bomb roots beneath the seemingly unaffected surface). It functions like a slow acting Chronic Wasting Disease (aka zombie deer disease, humans can't get it in reality, but it was the inspiration)
Q: What happened when Harlow discovered Eden was a guy
A: Eden is trans, and closeted in his life. Harlow is the first person he ever discusses his truth with.
At first, Harlow was just kinda... confused? Transness is not a concept he was familiar with. At ALL. The idea alone was completely unheard of to him. Again this is the Bible Belt in the 8os, the area so rarely encountered visible transness- trans people existed of course, but so many stayed hidden to survive. The roaring tre of bigotry did not have much tuel in that regard... no trans people to propagandize against. It was not on the public's vitriolic radar. In that way, Harlow hadn't developed the knee-jerk reaction of hatred... he was more fascinated than anything, but it did challenge him to understand at first.
Unlike his journey with accepting homosexuality this was not so much a task of unlearning as it was just... learning.
Also Eden's whole rotting thing adds another layer to this Harlow is stupid and takes everything VERY literally- he thought Eden's condition must be divinely brought.
Harlow saw a gift from God, a rare flower planted in inhospitable soil, wilting before it ever got the chance to bloom. Like the angels sent to Sodom and Gamorrah in human disguises, to test the townspeople's virtue. To present them with something foreign yet beautiful, to judge their inherent goodness based on how they treat it. Like in the biblical story, the townspeople were so vile and inhospitable that it endangered the angels and forced them to leave, burning down the town behind them. Harlow saw this as prophecy. He was eager to get to the “burning down the town” part.
Part of my motivation for incorporating that specific biblical story is SPITE btw since so many people use it to justify homophobia. Reverse uno idiots. I'm putting you in my GAY BOOK as a metaphor for hateful queerphobic societies.HA!
Q: Describe the rot in Eden's chest in sensory detail (texture smell “cause" etc) I want rot details!!
A: I used CWD and necrotizing fasciitis as building blocks for this thing... starts in the brain, spreads like roots through the body, eating away at muscle and skin as it does. Once it's fully spread, it'd rapidly worsten and bring death within a matter of hours.
In the meantime it sustains itself off of non-fatal bits of flesh (his chest here, since it's a manifestation of self hatred and all, and dysphoria is a bitch). It is an open wound so it'd feel scabby and it is perpetually weeping... which is how Harlow finds out about it so quickly (seeps through white nightgown after being left unbandaged for a few nights). He would also have to take care to hide the smell of decay
It advances throughout the story and by the end there's barely any soft tissue left on his chest, nothing alive anyways. The final overtake begins, and his organs enter the early stages of consumption (which happens very rapidly in one foul swoop). That's when they decide it's time for boy dinner!
Q: How smart are they
A: GREAT QUESTION! HARLOW IS FUCKING STUPID. LIKE not only does he lack emotional intelligence entirely, but he's also very impulsive and reckless. The ONLY reason he's getting away with his murders is because the society around him has shot itself in the foot with its homophobia. Noooobody is suspicious of him for the string of missing attractive dudes. They're looking for a "vengeful woman" profile, or possibly a "debt collector with many social connections" or something. Not some solitary redneck who barely shows his face in town and is very polite and quiet when he does. He appears, in all respects, like a normal guy in public.
Once they have mutual blackmail (and also start caring about each other)... Eden realizes that if Harlow gets caught, he's fucked too. So partially for the sake of self-preservation, and... partially out of pity for this stupid stupid man... Eden starts to help him cover up.
Harlow is pretty disillusioned as to how society functions as a whole, since he grew up pretty far from it. Eden is the opposite, he was suffocated by it and learned how to be sneaky as a result. Eden is very good at getting people to trust him, he's good at lying, he's good at acting. Thing is, he's overly trusting to his own detriment. He's desperate for genuine connection and easily deceived himself. He's bad at reading people.
Q: What happened to Harlow's mom?
A: Harlow's mother died due to complications during childbirth. He never had a maternal figure in his life, he was raised as an only child by his father, who had become calloused and would never remarry. Harlow dropped out of high school and kept to himself at his house/ in nature after that very isolated from society. Considering all this... he not only lacked a maternal figure, but any female influence... at all. Which manifested as this warped and idolized understanding of women as a whole
He thought of women in a very high and almost mystified regard- like how a child would imagine a mythical creature. One massive blank filled in by a clueless imagination. He respected them greatly, he feared them like gods, and he felt a need to repent to them as such. He never properly processed the guilt he felt over his mothers death-largely thanks to his father's handling of it. This guilt left him feeling indebted, like he owed the world for what he “took", like if he ever so much as inconvenienced another woman it would be an irredeemable sin.
This all sounds like it comes from a good place, but it's really all just deluded naivety this is not a positive trait of Harlow's. It contributed a lot to his toxic masculinity, the pressure he put on himself to "be a man", etc.
He's not a white knight, he's a cowardly dog.
This is why he didn't just kill Eden on the spot after being caught, he needed to make sure...)
MORE TO COME IM SURE I LOVE GETTING QUESTIONS ABOUT THESE FREAKS IF ANYONE HERE HAS ANY
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witheredoffherwitch · 3 months
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some hatred towards alysmond is coming from people with weird moral indignation i'm afraid. how do i know? cause in 9 out of 10 aemond×oc fics reader is soft, submissive, boring as hell and aemond is possessive, jealous and control freak. certain people will never like alys cause they can't relate to her. she is cunning, knows how to survive and make the best of it, and she is immediately labelled as dangerous seductive famme fatale. i don't care what they say, i knew for many years that really strong women don't put down those who clearly are confident and smart because they don't feel threatened by them. even if that's about the fictional character but you see those people can't tell a difference between real person and fictional character as they proved when telling olivia they hate her cause she plays a cunt and insulting gayle looks just because they expected eva green of katie mcgrath so they can get the confirmation she seduced him with her looks. sorry to disappoint you but even maesters noticed aemond in harrenhall didn't choose some younger ladies to bed but alys. they can't understand aemond fell in love because she was smart, witty, resourceful? maybe to him looks didn't matter but i dunno, something like personality? but they don't know what personality is so what to discuss here? now having oc with no personality bland as fuck is sign of genius. you know you can't write smart character with personality because then people won't self insert. they only can self insert into complete idiots. good to know they are impressed by someone nameless and faceless and personalityless. fools can only identify with fools.
not gonna lie helaemonds have a part of trashing alys cause they can't get over their disappointment she would be casted when they were sure alys would be cut cause her powers went to helaena. i have ss of their comments or posts so if they piss me off i would public it. they also can't comprehend why aemond would leave capital to begin with he was to fuck helaena during the war. huge bunch of helaemonds openly admitted they don't care about aemond, all they care about is helaena being with someone better than aegon. they don't understand aemond and his motives, they constantly trash aegon as worse than daemon and viserys combined so best to ignore them, their brains don't work anymore.
alys suffers from both teams cause both teams need a punching bag. tb does want every woman to uphold the patriarchy to just call them karens and they will be hugely disappointed because alys doesn't support the patriarchy so this argument works only with alicent and even helaena. tg is full of people with parasocial relationships with ewan and aemond as if any of them would ever have sex with them. they are jealous alys gets to have sex with him and they have to self insert into bland copy paste oc.
i feel really sorry for these writers who think writing alys as bad bitch will make their uninteresting self insert bland oc great or more shippable with aemond. how they are stuck in their black white thinking of the world when they write alys as smart, ambitious=bad bitch and oc naive, innocent, soft, submissive=great girlfriend material. it must be so boring to feel threatened by fictional character who isn't brainless like most of their ocs. so they need to cope by writing blushing virgin for aemond and that's how they convince themselves they'll find their aemond is real life. imagine how sad their life is!
Hi nonnie 🤗
This ask has been sitting in my inbox pile for ages; but fear not, I have finally unearthed it 😭
And honestly, there's not much to add - your words ring true and I couldn't agree more. Keep spilling that pipin' hot tea!
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diezmil10000 · 4 months
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2023 art summary + thoughts on my own art progress under the cut!!
(template by HedgeCatDragonix on deviantart)
so i've been doing this for 10 years :P
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i'm not posting these pics in high quality, they're somewhere on the internet if you want to scavange for a bit. i didn't start taking art seriously until late 2015 and i honestly don't like looking back at old drawings. i still like my 2022 art summary but it wasn't until this year that i'm proud of all my finished artworks.
my art journey is complicated. i'm not one of those artists who can say they've been drawing for all their lifes. i used to trace pokémon in my school agendas but that was it. around 2013, a couple of friends invited me to their Skype server where we used to draw each other's ocs and make art memes and stuff - it was fun and cringe in the most positive way i can say it :] i didn't know shit about art and i took pride in drawing on MS Paint with a mouse just because it was hard.
(all of my drawings until may 2018 were made with a mouse)
when i was 15 yo i got into Love Live! and i decided to get better at art because i didn't want lesbian fanart to be made only by creepy cishet men. at some point i watched this video from Sycra and it rewired my brain. i understood that i needed to actually practise and understand what i was doing, and that i wasn't going to improve just by observing. its follow-up video also helped me a lot, i remember watching it on the day it was posted jskhfdjdfd.
and so fast forward until 2021 approx. i spent all of those years practising drawing in my traditional sketchbooks, so my improvement was steady. the only problem, and in retrospective i see it as a Big Problem, is that i was grinding mindlessly. by that i mean that i copied artists i liked and i drew again and again stuff i was bad at, but i didn't think too deeply about it or analysed my own art to look for faster ways to improve it. i also don't take feedback well so i didn't ask for it either, which further slowed down my progress.
on top of it, that just made me better at drawing, not at illustration. i firmly believe that a good drawing is hard to ruin but i could have made my illustrations way more interesting if i had started going wild with colors and effects way earlier. i don't exactly regret my choices because at the end of the day it's just my hobby, and i've been praised for drawing a lot and for challenging myself to practise drawing traditionally, so i want this to be read as introspection rather than complaints!!
the reason why 2021 was a big change in my art is because in november i did this monstrosity:
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i got an Android tablet to be able to draw in class and took the challenge alongside my friend Nico, who also did their own Huevember. hola si estás leyendo esto Nico, aunque lo dudo :) i can't say that any of the drawings made me better at anatomy, or composition, or colors. i can't say that they solidified my knowledge, either. but they planted a seed in my brain that would fully bloom in late 2022, which is the seed of hating the finished result of some pieces so much that i forced myself to improve.
everyone has their own motivation to get better at art and i've always thought that mine was a healthy one (i want to draw more lesbians, that's all). however, i've had a very solid 2023 and now i don't cringe at any of my pieces, plus i can notice any mistakes they have without wanting to delete them from existence - and i could only get there because at the end of 2022 i told myself i wouldn't make any more ugly illustrations. like, period. i didn't want to get anxious every time i had to look back on my own art.
i also learned that no ammount of compliments from others would magically make me like a piece i see as mid at best. of course, i appreciate every single nice comment i get (genuinely, i get very happy knowing that other people love my work), but gratitude doesn't fix a skill issue.
so, late 2022, many things happened. first i got cancelled on twitter over a drawing of my beloved mizuki from project sekai (this info will be relevant later). then i spent a whole month doing this other monstrosity that is to this day the best thing i've ever done. i haven't peaked it (yet):
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this comic actually made me improve and solidify my skills. it wasn't a class assignment, or a collaboration, or anything more than a headcanon i shared with a friend - it was pure brainrot over Revue Starlight and it made me put all my cunt into it. this was also the point at which i started filling in blacks with the bucket tool instead of picking a very dark color, which is a big part of my current style :3
the thing about people cancelling me is that i had to distance myself from fandoms and eventually change accunts, which also affected how i perceived my own art. even if i draw for myself, at the end of the day i still draw characters that are loved by many people, so i disabled comments and stopped interacting with other artists of my fandom circles. that led me to go on hiatus at the start of 2023, knowing that it was time for a fresh start (my art accounts were 5 years old anyway).
that period of time made me think a lot about my finished pieces. since i wouldn't post them until i had a new account, i would stare at them for longer than ever or make small changes even if days had already passed. letting my mind rest from illustrations i had been working on and knowing i could change them whenever i wanted was a big step forward.
i realised that for the past years i had been in a hurry to post my drawings as soon as i was done with them instead of appreciating them. that was a turning point for my mindset. this was also past the time i decided to stop making ugly art, but i hadn't really taken any measures to get better. so i changed the wording of the challenge: i can make ugly art but i can't post it if i don't like it.
it doesn't sound epic, but for some reason it worked. every time i was in the middle of making a drawing that looked kind of ugly, i changed it until it looked right. not perfect, but good enough to avoid cringing in the future. some times i had to redraw it from scratch with a more interesting pose. some times i needed to add a background or a graphic element to make the characters pop. and somewhere on that period, i went wild with colors and effects, and a lot of times that saved a piece that would otherwise be boring.
i have to thank Revolutionary Girl Utena and Revue Starlight for making me experiment a lot during my hiatus. both pieces of media, one being the daugher of the other, give artists so many visual metaphors and interesting topics to work with. the revstar brainrot had been there since the junnana comic, but rgu was something i had been meaning to rewatch for a couple of years and it hit me like a fucking train. it also made me create one of the comics i'm the most proud about:
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then i got into homestuck and my art got. well. stuck!! >D< but it was okay because i wasn't making ugly drawings anymore. i was putting into practise a lot of things i had been learning or experimenting with, especially regarding colors and character interactions. and the yuri was delicious hmmmmmmm.
the rest of 2023 was very linear in terms of art but not so much in terms of fandoms (?). which is fine, honestly, but i was also glad to get back into Fire Emblem: Three Houses in late that year because when i first got into it in 2019 i didn't have the skill to draw everything i wanted to draw. and i still haven't drawn all the yuri scenarios that i've been cooking in my mind, but i have until forever to do it!!
so for 2024 i want to study some stuff i feel i'm still lacking in. i think i've always had a good eye for composition, but i've never actually pushed it in my finished illustrations - they depend a lot on the poses because i've always been prioritising drawing over everything else. that needs to change this year.
i also want to get better at drawing characters from extreme angles. i've always felt like my poses are a bit flat and i think i can study photos taken with wide angle lenses to improve at that.
and of course i still want to draw faster, which is something i've always struggled with. i think i have a good rhythm of "producing" art (excuse me for the poor wording), but i'm still too slow for the kind of artstyle i want to achieve, which includes having a looser lineart and less details in irrelevant areas of the drawings. i think that overdoing the lineart actually hurts my illustrations, because everything ends up pulling the viewer's attention with the same energy. i also think messy artstyles are neat.
i promise i'm not crazy and i don't hate what i do. in fact, it's precisely because this year i managed to make some pieces with that kind of feel that i know where i want to aim. special mention to the junnana comic because i haven't been able to replicate that lineart ever since.
examples:
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as for the stuff i like about my current artstyle, i definitely want to keep the way i color!! and by that i mean the method i have for applying filters that make my colors pop. i could maybe play more with textures too.
i also like the way i depict intimacy, and people have praised it too. thank you for noticing. it's the yearning that's doing it, not me. but i don't think i'll ever change the content (?) of my art, i eat breathe and speak in yuri. if anything, there are still some ways of conveying feelings that i haven't been able to draw because i lack the skill to do so, but i'll keep trying ;)
i honestly didn't expect this post to be this long. i've been writing for hours now and i'm not sure my thoughts are coherent for anyone that isn't me. i also can't grasp the idea that some people know me from fanart i did in 2016 while others started following me last month, time is wild and it's an extra dimension of complexity that i don't know how to account for when i write stuff like this.
but again, as i do with art, i've written this for myself. it's been nice to put my thoughts in order. i think i've only talked about art in depth with like 5 people and it's always been in casual conversation. no creo que estéis leyendo pero Nahia y Henar os amo y he aprendido mucho de vosotras.
thank you for reading until the end if you have. i hope you have not only a nice day but a nice year. let's meet again in the future.
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