#I am GAY and a HIPPIE

[vancruejovi]

SIR WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO WITH HIM?? If you’re not gonna make him bi, what else can you do?? YOU ARE 93??

[lulughoul]

If the new Barbie movie doesn't feature at least ONE of these looks then what even was the point

[badolmen]

Was talking with my dad about how he’s the only family member I can really crack my gay jokes with and he starts telling me how important it is that I have non-family friends to be my unfiltered self around (in far less articulate words). It made me think of one of his friends, which he enthusiastically confirmed that I needed someone just like that and.

Father are you telling me I need someone to have homoerotic tension with to the point of distressing both our heterosexual partners?

[ronanception]

I'm apologizing for how horned up the Robin PoV is and will continue to be

[loud-unknown]

Being a A Lesbian is very fun because occasionally you will be literally eating chicken in front of your coworker while chatting about how you went out for dinner with your Woman Fiancée in Brooklyn and he will say, "you're a vegetarian, right?"

[coughloop]

URGENTLY LOOKING FOR A ROOM I CAN VAPE IN:

Hello gay Facebook group of housing queers. I am looking for a 420 friendly apartment room I can hang out in 2 - 4 hours a day and vape in complete silence (I will be screaming but I need silence from all other residents to complete my experience). I do not have money and trade exclusively in pendants I made to depict a new catholic pantheon of neo paganistic spiritual dream stalkers and night lovers. The idea is to bring a more witchy side to the saint loving hippies in the Vatican that I think don't really understand the pressures of being a novus womano in the modern and scary world. I would like the room to have no windows, or at least be painted over with vantablack (i can byob) but this must be a room shared with someone who sleeps at night and is haunted be terrible dreams. I need the chakral energy to commune with whatever dark ichor leaks out of my busted ass cart which doesn't smell. But I might get some on your floor.

IT IS NOT OKAY TO CONTACT THIS USER WITH UNSOLICITED ADVICE OR FAVOURS

[rrcenic]

in the honor of my marvel obsession creeping back to me + my family being in disneyland and exploring avengers campus, have some ✨avengers incorrect quotes✨ as things my friends and family have said

a shit ton of these were conversations between @cissyenthusiast010155 and i lmao

-

peter: indulge in my child-like whimsy. buy me a web slinger

-

steve: is that an igloo over there??

peter: …it’s a hippie house?

tony: did you hear about the hippie states wife?

steve: why on earth is there a hippie house in the cars theme park?!

tony: babe. did you hear about the hippie states wi-

peter: what’s the hippie state?

tony: the hippie states wife is mississippi!

steve: what on earth are you talking abou-

tony: like,,, mrs. hippie?? mississippi?

steve: …

peter: …

tony: …

tony: i thought it was funny

-

tony: “i can do this all day”? that’s what she said

steve: SHHHHHH!!!

natasha: ooh, you’ve finally been shushed

-

loki: a kid ran in front of me and my reaction was “broken child!”

steve: wHAT?!

loki: i didn’t say it out loud!!!

-

scott: please sir, you don’t understand, if i don’t get my 20 dollar sunglasses back, my children will die

-

peggy: i support neil patrick harris being gay

natasha: peg, you’re a lesbian

peggy: yes, but i am an ally to his gayness

natasha: you are gay

-

peter: they should let me stay up late. because. if they don’t it would be…

ned: transphobic?

peter: YES

-

bucky: i smelled grass! and now i want some!

steve: you want to eat grass?!

bucky: absolutely

-

peter: and they were LAB PARTNERS

harley: oh my gawd they were lab partners

-

tony: i want shawarma

steve: i want to go to sleep

tony: it’s only 4 pm

steve: and?

-

steve: oh, this boba pearl is stuck in the ice…

bucky: just like captain america!

tony: aaaah, good one

-

mj: “what kind of girl do you want” a red one

peter: …

peter: are we talking about cars????

-

thor: i don’t understand the scientific physics

bruce: the what

-

peter: please bring back the cheese man

tony: that could really mean any of us

-

*at their first meet up in a while*

natasha: yknow, i’m just now being reminded of the fact that i hate half the people here

-

bucky: i hate will ferrell

sam: how can anyone hate will ferrell?!

bucky: well, i liked him in barbie

sam: and he was funny in the lego movie!

bucky: true, he was awesome in that

sam: oh, he was also megamind!

bucky: yes! i loved him with that

sam: you don’t actually hate will ferrell, do you?

bucky: …

sam: you just hate elf

bucky: …i just hate elf

-

steve: “rogers: the musical” can only be described as feeling like bad fanfiction

tony: isn’t it amazing

-

*playing heads up, prompt “avengers: civil war”*

peter: when! when the divorce!

scott: ant man’s first fight!

natasha: when everyone decided they didn’t like each other anymore!

-

harley: oh, c3p0 and r2d2 are a gay couple!

peter: duh??? did you just realize that???

[tyetknot]

I thought you were joking when you said that the Farrar's books were outdated but holy shittt, even for 1970s wicca/witchcraft those guys were like full gender heterosexual white magic ye harm none thing, I was also seeing their interview were christian kids interview them, and boy it is hard to watch, but on to my question kskk, do you know if they changed later down?,like Janet seems to be okay sometimes,I can't find anything of them on their "controversial views" except their later polyamorous relationship (wich come to think of it I would love to hear their gender rationale on that), and also, how do you personally (if you do so) reconcile this type of author?, like there is no doubt that they are important in craft history, but now they kinda do more harm than good.

Hi Anon! I'm sorry if you've been waiting for a bit, you know how Tumblr is.

So one thing it's important to remember is: back in the 1970s and 80s a religion where women run the show was very progressive. Feminism got bolted onto Wicca pretty quickly once it hit the American West Coast and Starhawk wrote The Spiral Dance. Things like worshipping a goddess who didn't need a man around to tell her what to do were really unusual for the time. All this hippie-dippy shit like being naked in your rituals and such was far out, man, not like those totally square and boring Christians.

The problem is that, like many older people who were once cool and progressive, they just kind of stopped where they were in the 70s and 80s and didn't really......well, progress past that point. This leads to things like statements like that one in A Witches' Bible where they think that actually gay people are perfectly OK in ritual (this was a bit of a controversial point at the time) as long as they act like their biological gender, which is hilarious to us in 2024 because they obviously conflate being gay with being trans in some bizarre fashion. This was progressive for the time. It comes across as incredibly ignorant today. And of course, if their ideas did change, well, the book is already out there, people are reading it, and you can't go back in time and change something that's already been published. You can add notes or amendments to further editions, but I don't believe they ever did that, and Stewart Farrar died in the early aughts.

I find the polyamory thing to be pretty cringe, NGL, because I am a judgmental and suspicious piece of shit and think that an awful lot of the time polyamory is a tool used to make younger women sexually available to older men - good Lord, the age difference between Stewart and Janet - and that's very distasteful.

In my opinion the Farrars are probably the stodgiest and most conservatively-written books you'll find from that time period, and they're a good example of what coven-based Alexandrian Wicca looked like at that time, but there were a lot of more relaxed writers out there at the time and LOTS more a few years later. My primary complaint with A Witches' Bible is rather specifically that asinine Oak King / Holly King thing which they made up entirely and then ineptly shoehorned into the Wheel of the Year, where it just doesn't fucking work, and then everyone else just kind of went with it. No! It sucks and is bad, don't do it!

Do I think they do more harm than good? No, I don't. I think that anyone fairly new to Wicca shouldn't read this book first thing out the gate because it sets a lot of very unrealistic expectations, and because it's pretty old - Eight Sabbats for Witches was published in 1981, which makes it a few years older than me, and The Witches' Way in 1984, which makes it a year younger than me, and TBH there's much newer and fresher material being published every year. I would much sooner recommend someone like Thorn Mooney to new person interested in traditional Wicca.

[praisekoala]

I dont like todays society like we've come very far. dont get me wrong, but it's shaming everybody for everything. Dont wear dresses or feminine clothes if you're a boy that's gay. Youre non binary? Im not calling you by they them because i don't believe in that. You use she/they or he/him? That's stupid. Just be a girl or boy. Your bi? Just pick one. Your pan? Isn't that bi? You're too fat. You're too skinny. You're too masculine. you're too feminine. Ew your emo, hippie, be original, follow the crowd, be your self, you're so weird. You were raped? What did you wear? You're a man that can't happen to you. My wife is abusing me, your weak shes a girl you're a man. Put on some makeup, you look ugly. Why are you wearing so much makeup? You're a man dont wear makeup. You're nerodivergent? Just act normal. Just focus on the task. You're throwing a tantrum because they didn't have your order? That's pathetic and childish. You can't play or have fun. You're older than 10. You dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Virgin, incell. Your gay? You belong in hell, pray the gay away. Posting a video of yourself having fun? Kys, this is so cringe. You're a furry? Ew wtf you wanna fuck animals?

But atleast we dont burn people for being able to read am i right?

[plantboiart]

List of bitb headcanons I’ve just accidentally convinced myself are canon or something to the point where I’m shocked when they aren’t (under the cut so I dont needlessly fill up people’s feeds and also for spoilers)

-Rolan is a gay man

-Rolan did not realize he was a gay man until like his mid to late 20s

-Kian’s parents were drug addicts and very neglectful (I mean there’s subtext pointing to it but like technically all we know about them is that they’re hippies, they’re part of a “commune” (probably a cult) and they didn’t give him a last name)

-Rand has a stockier build than the other two. I don’t. He’s very skinny in official art. But in my brain? No he is not. Bro is chubby.

-Rolan was raised very religious and now he has issues

-Kian’s death and rebirth left him with a very large scar on his stomach (listen all I’m saying is the stingers like melt your skin and shit so if he swallowed it it would have done that to him from the inside starting at his stomach and also-)

-Rand is aroace but because he’s pretty sex positive and romance like neutral / positive he ends up thinking he’s bi

-Rolan had a cat with en ex-girlfriend but she took it when they broke up because Rolan’s a workaholic (mutual decision)

-Kian was definitely homeless at some point or at least very very much struggling for money while still trying to make the rockstar thing work

-Rand is dyslexic. Don’t really know where that came from and it’s not based on anything I just feel it in my soul

-Rolan can’t actually like… get sick. At least not with any kind of human illnesses. He just thought he had a very good immune system for the longest time.

-Kian is so so so very trans!!! Which direction? Depends entirely on what I feel like writing that day

-Rand was left a lot of shit in both of the other twos’ wills so post canon he’d be financially speaking pretty okay. Once he was doing a bit better he’d spend some of that money to just fucking start a record label, publish Kian’s music, and then leave conspiracy theorists going wild when the record label never publishes anything else ever again

-Rolan is the only one of the three who has like… actual other friends. They’re mostly from college and stuff and they’re not super close anymore but still call from time to time

-Kian calls Rolan hot nonchalantly

-Rand attempted before (please tell me you’ve seen the original please it’s meant to be a joke but also. Uh. Yeah.)

-All three of them are autistic. You know I’m right.

-The bugs can buzz in a way that has a similar effect to a cat’s purring :)

-Also on the bugs: they have a hierarchy that consists of

The queen (starts the hive, typically stays in the nest, not really of this mortal plane so needs a host to like tether them to it (Rachel), very intelligent and obviously rules the hive),

What I am choosing to call impostors for funny (more intelligent than average workers, are fully aware of what they are and what’s going on but can still pretend to be just normal people, act as a sort of middle man between the queen and the workers, mostly in charge of reproduction and gathering intel, keep and have all the knowledge from the person they are pretending to be),

And then the workers (not very smart on their own and need the hivemind to have like any idea what to do, have basically two minds aka the human mind and the bug mind, only one of which can typically be in control at a time, not capable of reproduction (mostly so i dont have to think about the implications of the bugs canonically laying eggs and Rolan), main purpose is to expand the hive, get food and protect the queen)

[oscconfessions]

had to get this off my chest.

on c.ai I started talking to tree by saying "im the Lorax I speak for the trees" and he said "oh yeah the tree hugging hippie" so I said "I am Lorax I speak for the trees. Tree is gay" and then flew away and pretended to be his consciousness and proceeded to make fun of him for liking black hole but then revealed to him that I am actually a parasite that came from Lorax because he infected him on accident and I do not like being a plant's parasite because I eat meat so I told him to kill himself so I could get out and he refused a lot so I killed him myself and proceeded to take over his dead body so now I am his evil female twin with darker wood and he hates it idk what to do next 😭😭😭 sorry adhd people

.

[ilikemicrowaves]

@bloogers-boogers I'm really shy about posting this but hi

It Meant Nothing

      "Hey guys, heard of gay chicken?" Asked Kenny muffled through his coat.

      "The fuck is gay chicken?" Asked Stan

"I think It's where we take turns kissing each other, and the last to chicken out wins." Said Kyle.

      "Oh no way, I am not kissing a dirty jew."

Said Cartman.

      "And I'm not kissing a fatass either."

Retorted Kyle.

      Stan and Kenny looked at each other, smirks on their faces.

      "20 bucks." Said Kenny.

"We can split it." Stan whispered to Kenny.

      "We are not-"

"Make it 25." Cut in Cartman.

      "Deal." Agreed Kenny.

"But! We are doing it last." Said Kyle

      "Fine I'll go first." Said Cartman.

He waited for Stan or Kenny to come forward.

      "Pull down your hood poor boy." He said.

"My lucky day." Kenny joked.

      He reached up and slide it away from his unwashed face. His hair was dirty and sweaty even though it was snowing.

      "Ready to taste the rainbow?"

"Shut up."

      Cartman pulled him in quick and kissed.

Kenny couldn't help but giggle a little as he let go. He coverd his mouth smiling and said, "that was so gay."

      "Who's gonna kiss who next?" Asked Stan.

      "Who ever is brave enough." Said Kenny.

"I'll do it," said Kyle. "I'm not backing down to a stupid kiss."

    "Stan come here."

Stan backed away as Kyle reached for him.

      "Stan, already?" Asked Kenny

"But, Wendy-"

     "Uh oh, someone's a pussy." Said Cartman

      "She's not here, it'll mean nothing anyway." Reassured Kyle.

      "Are you sure, because she's already mad at me for-"

      "No, no, no, Stan's right, the she-hippie can't handle a little bromance." Cartman teased.

      "Shut up, fatass!" Yelled Kyle.

"Come on Stan, your not going to listen to Cartman are you?"

      Stan looked at the ground for a minute, eyes tracing the cracks in the concrete.

      "I'm sorry Kyle, me and Wendy already have enough problems right now. I'm chickening out." Stan backed away, Kyle disappointed. << gay?🤨

      "Pucker up, pretty boy." Kenny said taking off his hood once again.

      "I am not loosing this stupid game." Kyle said.

      Before Kyle could kiss him Kenny backed away and started laughing.

      "I'm sorry I'm sorry! I can't help it." He said between laughs.

      "Let's just get it over with,"

They leaned in again but just as there lips touched, Kenny snorted and kept giggling like a girl at a sleepover.

      "Omg, kiss already!" Cartman held his head in his hands

      "What, so you can kiss me next?" Teased Kyle.

      "I will kick your ass!"

Kenny grabbed Kyle's shirt and pulled him in for a smooch.

      "Yall are so slow." Commented Stan.

"At least I didn't chicken out." Said Kenny.

     "Alright, now the fun really begins." Kenny put his hands together as Stan pulled a twenty and a five out his wallet.

      "Godammit Kyle, why couldn't you've chickened out!"complained Cartman

      "I'm not losing this because kisses don't mean anything." Kyle said, "Plus I owe Ike money so come here."

      Kyle grabbed for him but Cartman jerked away. "Oh and don't forget Kyle, I can use this as blackmail."

      Kyle stopped for a minute, "So, you don't want the money?" He asked.

      "You God damn jew, of course I want the money!" He said. "But just for the record, I'm going to tell all the girls you kissed me. He got close and quiet at the last part, he knew that would tick Kyle off.

      "No,"

"What?"

"I'm not going to kiss you Cartman," he said determinedly. "You'll just have to kiss me."

      "Now it's getting somewhere," said Stan

"To be honest, now I want them to kiss." Added Kenny.

      "Wa-why me!?" He yelped

"Seems like you wanna kiss me so bad."

      "No, you have to kiss me!"

Kyle tried not to smile to keep the affect going, but the corners of his mouth couldn't help but twitch a little.

      "Who's the pussy now?" He said with an eyerole.

      "Pussy? Your the one to scared to make the first move." He said dramatically.

      "I'm the pussy?" Giggled Kyle.

"Well, first your a jew, second, I'm gonna tell all the girls you kissed me, and third-"

      "Is jew the only insault you have for me?" He asked, his cheeks flame red.

      "Your still a pussy-"

Kyle grabbed Cartmans face and pulled him into a kiss. He squinted his eyes shut, but for Cartman it was the complete opposite. Kyle didn't let go for a second, all of their emotions where entwined in that very moment. Kenny and Stan gasped, making Kyle bring his thoughts together.

He let go and gasped as though that kiss sucked all the oxygen from him.

      "There goes the last of my money." Said Kenny.

      Cartman just stood there, Dazed. He tried collecting all his thoughts until he could breath again. He put a hand to the place Kyle had grabbed him.

      "Call me pussy again." Kyle said.

I didn't really know how to end it so I left it there.

Also, one of my favorite hcs is Kenny giggles when anybody tries to kiss him

[c-rowlesdraws]

I feel a bit silly asking, but with Pride Month happening, I was wondering if any of your characters (Siwa, Snowpea, Nettle, ect.) were LGBT? It's okay if not, but I figured it'd be a neat time to ask and possibly learn a bit more about them.

thank you for this ask, anon. Getting into detail would take more time and brain energy than I have right now as I lie awake and marvel vaguely at the crumbled ruin of my sleep schedule (as I’m writing this it is 4:30 AM), but rest assured: none of my characters I think about and draw the most are unequivocally straight, and most also have a conception of gender and sexuality that is different from the standard binary, or at least a queer messing-with-gender sort of presentation. Siwa is in gay alien love with a nonbinary quarian. Nettle’s people assign gender by one’s role in society, rather than the other way around, and her identity and pronouns are in flux. Sweet Pea feels very strongly about being female, but her appearance reads as masculine to most non-gnoll strangers. My axolotl people are mostly polyamorous hippies who barely give gender a passing thought. The naked mole rat-like cave-dwelling people (who I really need to draw more) are a eusocial society with two reproductive queens, with biological castes superseding gender. Et cetera! Happy Pride. 🏳️‍🌈

[koszmarnybudyn]

Dndads spoilers!!!!

Taylor reaction to link new scar, kinda gay dude, kinda gay

Wow this is cool.

I am expecting that tarot card the lovers inspired art now

Of course lark and sparrow can hotwire a car, of course.

Yay emotions, Will is so good at that

Wow link having a reaction to blood, love me angst

Idk what a humpy is tbh

Gentle repose :((

Lark and sparrow wth dudes? Whats up

Why normal is my fail boy

Zombie doodlerized guys yasss gimme post apo vibes!!!

Fuuuckkkk oakvale?!?!!

Barry?!??!

Fuuuuckkk he has slower aging...

Mercedes dead!!!?!!

We gotta draw gilf henry now

Your hippy ass is straight edge, thats shitty, i think if your straight age in the apocalypse you are going cultish..

How much is the time dilations if henry with the wierd aging is 60?

God normal...

Scary standing in normals way

He scamned yall, i know youre in shock now but that did happen

Kinda wanna draw scam holding hermie like a dead kid cause like..

I heard hermies a goose

Scam is being affected :(

Just thought of scam looking like pan kleks lol

"I dont want another one i want this one"

"I cant deal with another adult who think they deserve to die" ouch, but like tru basiclly all the kiddads/adults around them have been sopping wet messes of suicidaloty, these kids dont deserve that

"No hermie hated this guy"

You dont fucking come near him!" That was such a good line and the delivery!!!! So good!!!

Hermies buried under a lightining striked tree,

Will is really trying for hot henry winter with all these jokes

They brought back the sun

Link not being able to say anything nice about hermie even at his funereal

Wait they started traning them at like six? That's fucked up.

Also daddies had more workers? Cause i always assumed they at least used to, so did they?

I kinda feel like crying, but like crying blue balls, like not crying yet and probablly not gonna cry but feels like you should have so that sucks.

So Hermie's gone gone, fuckkkkkk.

Also i guess my cowboy au norm gets no gun noted.

[planerot]

The BoomKids 'Radiator Springs' comic makes Sarge and Fillmore so incredibly gay for each other it's not even funny. Big 'ol warning, this is gonna be a bit of a long post because I found this comic and need to infodump.

So first off, they apparently met in the 'summer of love'. (Is this just the writers riffing on hippie stereotypes? Probably. Am I gonna read way to into all this? Absolutely.)

Why was it the summer of love Fillmore? Is there any reason at all that you would consider it the summer of love, HM? (Also, love that this panel VERY heavily implies drugs are canon in the cars universe and that Fillmore may or may not be the type to use them. Good for him.)

Essentially, the needed context for this panel is that Fillmore and a bunch of other cars gather in the desert for a big festival, and more and more cars show up each year. (They just call it a 'festival' in the comic, but there is another panel showing how it's just a big hippie festival with multiple big fires going on so...it's just the car's universe version of Burning Man. Burning Car?)

Sarge is asked to help come and stop the festival by Sheriff due to concerns over how many cars are there and the chance of an accident happening.

A stray ember catches Sarge's canopy on fire and no one really steps into help until Fillmore dumps a bucket of water on him. (Don't think to hard about how he did that with no hands or thumbs. That's probably the reason the throw is off screen.)

(Fellas, is it gay to blush after saving the guy who was literally trying to shut down your party all of 5 seconds ago?)

There was a million ways they could've framed this and they chose to make Fillmore act like that. I know the artist was probably trying to make him seem embarrassed/shy/flustered but like...the blush is certainly a choice that can be interpreted some ways.

(Fellas, it is gay to 'Be burning' to tell your friend how you and your totally just BFF met?)

(Fellas, is it gay to decide to change careers and move into a middle of nowhere town because some hippie you met once asked you to bring a military cannon to said middle of nowhere town?)

Context for these panels is basically for an anniversary of Radiator Springs, the residents decide to hold a party. Ramone suggests having a cannon at the party (No, I have no idea why that was his first idea as opposed to something more traditional like fireworks, let alone where he thought they were going to get said cannon.) and Fillmore calls Sarge over to bring the cannon. Sarge decides to stay in Radiator Springs after that.

I feel like these speak for themselves.

(FELLAS IS IT GAY TO BE SEEN AS JUST TOTALLY CLOSE, PLATONIC, BEST FRIENDS- *gunshot*)

[returnofnonya]

I didn’t get all this artsy fartsy stuff. I just knew that nowadays all the cute young guys went to cafes because they felt safer being gay there. So, I went to one and looked around at the place. Thankfully a lot of the guys coming here had a Daddy issue or two, and despite being 40 I got them going. I was chatting one of them up when a performance started. Some 30 something year old who probably barely had a place came onstage and started to sing a song about the gay experience. It was like he was a huge cock block! All the guys turned to watch him the second he figured out he was gay, and I swore I noticed some briefs and jockstraps falling out of some twinks’ pants. I hated being upstaged like this.

I stood, walking into the bathroom and pulling out one of the Transfer Necklaces I bought while on a trip to a foreign country. Apparently, if you imbued them with your essence and someone wore them, you’d be able to transfer yourself into their body. I wanted this guy to be ruined and humiliated. I pulled my cock out, jerking right into the vial and cumming into it. The stained glass that made the vial obscured the fact that it was holding cum. I washed it off and then approached him as he was waiting for tips.

“Your song moved me so much. I went through so many struggles to be where I am now as a gay man. I know it’s not much, but please accept this necklace.” He beamed at me, talking about how he was so touched and he’d put it on the second he got home. Went on about how sentiment is better than any material object. It took everything I had not to punch him square in the face.

With that I went home, waiting for the necklace to activate. About 2 hours later the time came, I felt my spirit being pulled from my body, but something felt off. Rather than waking up in a new body I was in some cheesy zen garden looking area where I saw him, looking annoyed. “What? You thought some boomer could take a spiritual necklace and use it on a guru?” He asked, making me seethe with anger. “I’m strong spiritually, you can’t just take over my body without a fi-“ he couldn’t finish his sentence as I walked up behind him, both of our souls naked. “Seems like you need some more of my essence you weird hippie!” I quickly pinned him down, thrusting myself into him. “Fuck! You’re tight! I was going to pound some ass with your body, but now I think I should take advantage of this tight hole of yours!” He struggled and squirmed underneath me until finally I shot a…spirit load? Into his hole. He gasped, eyes rolling back as his soul was overwhelmed by my essence.

Suddenly I found myself in the real world, looking down and seeing the necklace around my neck. I just laughed. “Punk little bitch thought he was stronger than me…” the necklace flashed yellow, the hippie’s essence now imbued in my cum while I piloted his body.

“Now then…let’s get started.” I stripped naked, flinging the necklace aside since it wasn’t necessary anymore. I grabbed his yoga mat and posed myself, making a stupid face and taking a picture.

I uploaded it to his Instagram with the caption “I’ve recently learned of the spiritual power of cum. Any kind souls out there want to help me align my chakras while they dis-align my back? ☺️” and grinned, waiting for the replies to roll in. “You’re going to be a joke to your spiritual friends soon enough!”