#I am a bit disturbed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

varpusvaras · 4 months

Text

There was no actual dating involved when it came to being a royal.

At least not officially. Officially speaking, things started with establishing an interest, then doing some light mingling and talking that was strictly supervised, and then getting to have talks that were private, which, most of the time, were done by letters and other forms of messages. Then started the proper courting, which would gradually escalate to public courting, and finally to engagement. The engagements could last for a while, too, especially if both parties were young.

Unofficially, of course, especially during this age, all royals and nobles dated. It was just a bit of an quieter affair than other people tended to have, but it was still dating. Breha and Bail had definitely dated for a long while between their official talks and courting. Breha's parents had wanted to give her a bit more of a relaxed experience, as they had become a lot more careful with her after the fall. Bail's parents had been much the same, but Bail suspected that they were also secretly relieved over the fact that Bail had truly decided to adhere to his status, so they were willing to give him a bit leeway with some things, so he wouldn't feel pressured and get cold feet.

Not that he would've. Bail had been smitten with her from the moment she had said her first word to him. He would've given away all his other hopes and dreams, if that meant he could be with her.

Still, despite all of this, because of Breha's status as the Crown Princess, in public, they had to follow the rules. Which meant, amongst other things, that many of their activities before being engaged were severely limited by what was considered proper.

Not that Bail cared, again. He loved every second he got to spend with Breha, not matter what they were doing.

Walks were the one thing that was permitted to do in public from the very start. They did that a lot. Morning walks, if Bail was staying in Aldera and could come visit her before any other daily obligations. Afternoon walks, when the courts and lessons were on pause, and Breha wished to get some fresh air after hours of studying. Evening walks, when Bail could stretch his visit just a little further, when the city had quieted down and the stars were bright, and he could reach over without anyone batting an eye and hold her in his arms and kiss her sweetly, with his nervous heartbeat sputtering inside his ribcage.

They still did a lot of walks. Maybe it was because of nostalgia, or maybe it was so Bail could spend time with her after being away for weeks on end, and still enjoy Alderaan to the fullest. These days, their walks were longer and could take them far away from the Palace, as there was nothing that could limit them anymore.

It was precisely because all of those reasons why they were currently making their way up the trail outside Aldera. To get away from the city life and enjoy the clear skies and clean air, to clear their heads after long days of working, and to spend time together, as just Breha and Bail, and not as the Queen and the Senator.

It was a bit windy, but in all honesty, it also felt refreshing after spending so much time in the stale air of Coruscant. Bail glanced up. The lookout point was still some ways away, with newly constructed path of hardwood stairs leading up to it for the rest of the way. The view from up there would be spectacular.

Not that Bail was in too much hurry to get to the destination. Not when the whole way there was the point.

He turned back to Breha.

"I hope the path is not too steep", he joked.

Breha laughed.

"I have climbed higher mountains with much less paths", she said. She squeezed his hand. "I'm much more worried about you. The only thing you have climbed in a while are the carpeted stairs of the Senate."

Bail laughed as well.

"I climb those stairs enough times that I would already be on the top and back down again", he said.

Breha grinned.

"It's good to have you back home", she said.

Bail smiled back at her.

"It's good to be back home", he said. "I missed you."

"I missed you too", Breha said. She turned her head, and looked down, towards the city and the Palace visible in the distance. "The view is stunning."

"It is", Bail nodded. "And it will be even better from the top."

Breha didn't answer. She just looked out to the city. The wind was whipping her hair around and pulling it out from the neat braid they had been arranged into earlier that day.

She wasn't smiling anymore.

Bail frowned.

"Breha?" He called out to her. "Is everything alright?"

The wind was seriously picking up now, and was suddenly cold, like it was in the middle of the winter, instead of a bright summer's day.

"I missed you", Breha said. Bail tried to squeeze her hand comfortingly, but there was nothing in his grasp anymore. When had he stopped holding her hand?

"Breha", Bail called, and tried to reach for her hand again, but she was standing too far away for him to do so. He was already uphill, on the stairs, while she was still standing at the trail, looking down over the side of the mountain. She wasn't looking at the city anymore, just staring straight down towards the foot of the mountain.

"I missed you", she said, again. "Aren't we missing someone?"

She stepped forward. Bail hadn't noticed that she had gotten off the trail before she was already falling over the edge.

He had no time to move. He could only stand there as she fell, quickly disappearing from his view. He still heard it when she hit the ground, the hard cracking of bones breaking and the body spilling over.

Bail tried to scream. If he did scream, the sound disappeared into the roiling wind.

"Why did you do that?"

He turned around to look up the stairs. Fox was standing at the top of them, looking down at him. The red of his armor was casting a stark, red refliction on the stone surface of the stairs, that was spilling over each step, until it pooled beneath Bail's feet.

He had his helmet on, but Bail could still see his eyes. The sun was shining straight at them, but it was like he didn't even notice. He just stared at Bail with his dull, dark eyes.

They should've been golden. Fox's eyes had always been a mixture of warmth of a autumn bonfire, the same depth that reminded Bail of Alderaan's night sky, and a burst of gold every time light hit them, like the most beautiful sunsets casted over Aldera from behind the mountains.

His eyes should've been golden, with the harsh, white light shining straight at them.

They were black.

"Why did you do that?" Fox asked again. "Why didn't you help her?"

Bail tried to open his mouth to say something, to say how sorry he was, to scream and cry, but he could make no sound to defend himself.

It was because there was nothing for him to say that would ever erase his mistakes.

Fox stared at him from behind the black visor of his helmet.

"Why didn't you help me?" He asked.

His mouth didn't move as he spoke.

"I am right here", he said.

He was. He was right there, just up the steps. If Bail could make his way up in time, he could help him.

He took a step forward. His foot made a hard thud when it hit the stone surface of the step, and the red shadow underneath him rippled, and the ripple turned into a wave, traveling at an impossible speed up the stairs, all the way to Fox, who toppled over when the wave reached him. His neck twisted to the side and cracked open before he even hit the hard stone, and he fell down on to the step, his limbs splayed out and his head turned towards Bail.

He was still staring at Bail.

"I am right here", he said, even though he was already dead.

Bail tried to scream, but there was no air inside his lungs. It had all disappeared into the wind around him, to the wind that was now a storm and was tearing off the moutain from the ground, and Bail woke up with his breath strangled inside his throat.

He laid there for a moment, staring at the darkness above him, before his body reminded him that he could still breathe by making his chest burn, and Bail gasped and desperately drew in a lungful of air.

He turned to his side and heaved the air back out, before he realised that it was in the middle of the night and that he was not alone in the room. He snapped his mouth shut and tried to breathed back in quietly through his teeth and calm down his painfully thundering heartbeat while doing so.

Then he remembered who were in the same room with him.

Bail turned around. Breha was sleeping in the middle tonight, after Fox and Bail had deemed her sufficiently pleased and had wanted to keep her in their holds afterwards. She wasn't wearing much more than a thin nightshirt, and through it, Bail could see the soft, golden glow under her skin, showing that she was breathing and her heart was beating.

Fox was sleeping with his face pressed onto Breha's arm, his blanket for once not draped up all the way to his shoulders, for which Bail was very thankful for, since now, when he sat up and and leaned over, he could see the same soft, golden glow under Fox's skin as well, running as a line from his neck down to small of his back.

Bail could finally breathe properly.

He looked at them for a little longer, and then laid back down. He breathed. His heart was gradually slowing down.

There were tears in his eyes. Bail wasn't sure if they had appeared there just now, or if he had been silently crying in his sleep, while he had not been able to do so in the dream.

Dream. That was all that it was. A dream. A nightmare.

Breha was alive, Fox was alive. It had just been a nightmare.

Bail let the tears fall down before wiping them away.

It was a good thing they had had some fun before going to sleep that night, because it looked like both Breha and Fox were still knocked out because of it, and had not woken up because of Bail's distress. Good. Bail wouldn't have wanted them to wake up.

He knew both of them would be disappointed in him if he ever admitted that to them.

Bail let some more tears fall down, and wiped them away again. He listened to Fox and Breha breathe, and breathed with them. Softly and slowly. He should go back to sleep.

He couldn't make himself close his eyes.

There was a knock on the door. Bail blinked, and lifted his head.

The knock came again before he could do anything else, this time much louder, very much as hard as a tiny fist could knock onto the door. The slow rhythm of Fox's breath stopped, and he lifted his head up as well. He saw Bail awake as well, and looked at him for the short moment it took for his brain to wake up.

"Is it Leia?" He mumbled.

"From the sound of it, yes." Bail was surprised how level and calm he managed to make himself sound.

Fox hummed.

"Are you dressed?" He asked.

"Sufficiently", Bail answered. Fox hummed again, and pushed himself up. Breha was waking up now as well, and she rubbed her eyes and slowly propped herself up on her elbow as Fox slid out of the bed.

"Bad dreams?" She asked, her voice quiet because of the sleep clinging to it.

Bail knew that she meant Leia.

"Maybe", he said, thankful that it was dark in the room.

Fox got the door open. He didn't even get to say anything, when Leia darted past him, her tiny feet sprinting as fast as they could, her breath coming in high-pitched hitches. She ran around the bed and clambered up on it, pulling at the sheets, and threw herself on Bail's chest.

Bail wrapped his arms around her on instinct, his body moving before his mind could.

"Leia?" He called. "What's wrong?"

She only crawled up on him when he spoke, putting her little arms around his neck and squeezing.

"Leia?" Bail tried again.

"Don't be scared", Leia said against his shoulder. "Don't be scared, Papa. Mama and Buir are here."

Oh. Bail felt a sting of guilt. He had not wanted to wake Leia up with the nightmare, either, but it seemed that his feelings had bled over to the real world much more strongly than he had even realised.

"I'm not", he said, squeezing her back. "I'm not, don't worry about me."

Fox had gotten back to bed now, and flicked the nightlight on.

"Oh", Breha said. She sat up properly now as well, her brow furrowed in a concerned frown. "Is everything alright?"

She reached her hand and brushed her fingers over Bail's cheek under his eye. Bail looked at her, and then at Fox, who had a very similar expression on him. Bail knew that he had not managed to dry all the tears properly enough.

Bail patted Leia gently on her back.

"Yes", he said, and gave Breha and Fox a look, hoping that they would understand that it meant that they would talk about it later.

It seemed like it worked, because they both nodded.

Breha then took her blanket.

"Move over", she said to Bail, and moved closer to the edge of the bed. Fox took his own blanket as well, and walked around the bed, sitting down in the edge and gently nudging Bail with his shoulder.

With Leia still in his arms, Bail moved to the middle of the bed, and laid back down when Breha put her hand on his shoulder and just as gently pushed him there. Fox draped Bail's blanket over both him and Leia, and then scooted so close that he could press his body against the side of Bail's.

Breha turned the light off and moved closer as well, resting her head against Bail's shoulder.

"Go back to sleep", she whispered. "We're right here."

She pressed her lips lightly on the skin there. Fox reached his hand and put it over Bail's, where it was resting on Leia's back.

Bail closed his eyes.

54 notes · View notes

m1d-45 · 2 years

Note

(anotha one.)

To Mr. Alberich,

I can see your smirk permeate through this page, so I'll keep this brief.

I'll take up on your offer on that meeting at Angel's Share. I sure hope your government won't kill me if I step foot in that tavern, haha.

Anyway. Onto more serious matters,

How are you? It's been ages since we met. The paperwork is boring you as usual, I presume?

I'm fine, i guess i can say that much. Still in hiding, but loads better than last time. Thanks for rescuing me.

Ah, one last thought. This letter has some trinkets you remind me of, along with a personal item of mine i'd give to you as a token of my gratitude.

Angel's Share, 19:00. I'm the woman with the dark blue cloak.

See you soon!

[The letter contains a silver ring, finely wrought with silver and entwined with white wood from a certain tree. It also contains a peacock's feather and a small silver brooch, swirling with Cryo energy inside.]

kaeya, as a knight, is a rather busy man. despite his habit of evading paperwork, preferring to spend time on-field, that doesn’t mean he slacks off that much. he just… appreciates break time, and maybe delays his work a bit more than the average knight.

(in his defense, his reports always turn out the most coherent. most of the knights are… lackluster, he’ll say, in their field of work. at least he’s direct and concise)

and it’s because he’s so busy that he spends a large portion of his time in his office. granted, he’d be outside more often if he stopped staring out the window so often, but as of now he can’t find himself regretting the habit as much as he normally would.

not when he knows for certain that the glow of lanterns from the city below would have prevented him from noticing the star outside his window, even as dusk darkened to twilight.

his pen drops from his hand, his exposed eye flicking over the panes of glass as if making sure he’s seeing the right thing. when the star refuses to fade, he finally stands, carefully making his way over. he fumbles for a moment with the latch, but eventually pushes open the window, letting the floating ball slip inside.

after a cautious moment, he reaches for it. it’s closer than he realizes—a con of constantly wearing an eyepatch, he supposes—and his finger makes contact with the surface of it faster than he meant to.

the point that he bumped caves in, the rest of the shell crumbling away, and he hurries to cradle the remains in his hand. he didn’t mean to break it, he swears, he just knows there’s only one place it could have came from and-

oh. there’s a envelope in his hands. it… was meant to crumble.

…his paperwork can wait a few more minutes, can’t it?

he rips open the envelope with a bit less tact than he should probably show to a holy object, but his curiosity washes away any guilt. there’s objects within the letter, and he wonders what they are as even as he reaches for them.

one is a ring, simple silver twisted around a thin beam of stark white wood. the other is a pin of some kind, the icy gem as cold as the vision on his hip. a bright feather is the last item removed, and he sets all three items on a shelf before he can get too excited.

they’re probably not for him. he’s done nothing to deserve such gifts. not when he’d done so little to stall the hunt for you, not when he’d barely done anything to protect you, only managing to lead his patrol in the other direction.

he reads your letter with haste, ignoring the comment about his or the knights’ attitude in favor of what follows.

you’re safe. the hunt in mondstat has mostly died down, as current reports placed you somewhere in sumeru, but he can see that isn’t the case from your final message.

kaeya skims the letter once more to ensure he hasn’t missed anything, then slips the ring on his finger—it fits, he’s not surprised—and fixes the pin to his vest.

he debates, for a moment, on finishing the paper he was working on, as it’s a bit earlier than your meeting time…

kaeya eventually decides against it, shutting the door to his office with a decisive click.

it can wait.

129 notes · View notes